#i love the scenes where it cuts to him in the red background being dramatic af 😂

[feroluce]

So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?

Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.

So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.

The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!

And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.

He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,

and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!

I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.

And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.

And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.

And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.

[star-daughter]

Whooh boy. Hi everyone! Sorry, It's been a while. But I have quite the post for you all today, because we'll be talking about a webcomic I just finished! ... I will warn you all though, that I do not have the kindest of words to say about it.

You may be aware of this comic, as it has a considerable following, especially here on tumblr, the comic is called Sparklecare. It currently has 4 volumes and is on a short hiatus so the website can finish it's redesign, but the plot summary of the comic from the last available snapshot of the website is as follows:

The comic follows the story of a cat named Barry Ill and his experience of being admitted to the Sparklecare hospital. Despite its glamorous reputation, the hospital is actually a prison that tortures and kills its patients and drains their families of insurance by the corrupt hospital's owner, Dr. Cuddles. Cuddles is a greedy Capitalist scumbag who cares about nothing but money, and so far, everything is working out for him. Any patients who escape or try to speak out against the hospital aren't believed and are written off as crazy. The story follows Barry's journey into uncovering the truth about why this place really is the way it is, and why nobody's talking about it.

From the outside, the comic is very striking and intriguing! From it's prominent art style and art direction, to the concept itself, it sounds like a fun time! ...Right? Well that's where the comic gets you; see just like the in-universe hospital, Sparklecare isn't as inviting and pleasant once you really sink your teeth in. And I'm here to talk about why I think that is.

Before we begin, I'd like to clarify since I've become aware of the community's um... Questionable attitude towards critique, that if you enjoy Sparklecare, that's totally fine! I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't read, I'm here to express my own thoughts on it.

Now, I won't torture you with this post if it ends up on your dash, so the full post will be under the cut! Please check the reblogs, I may add more there if I run out of space.

Also, CW for bright colours, blood and a whole heaping o' medical mispractice.

Before I get into some of the more serious issues with the comic, I wanna first start off with the thing you're going to first see trying to read it: The art. Here I would say the website, but since it's getting a redesign, I don't feel confident speaking on it. I'll leave one note on it though: it needs serious optimization...

Onto the art: I will say, I found the art quite charming, especially the art in the first 2 volumes. I think the comic has a way with setting mood and tone using it's palette, specifically in the dramatic "blue/red" scenes - I think those look gorgeous!

The style in volume 1 & 2 is also very pleasing to the eye, although it can look off at points. I think the style succeeds extremely well with it's tendency to give characters large, exaggerated expressions - it's very cartoony and I love it. The lineweight is also used very well in my opinion!

However... There's a few big elephants in the room that they are The designs, lettering & panel work.

I'll begin with how the series handles it's lettering, as it's one of the most important parts of a comic. Although it's unique, that does not mean it's good.

In volume 1, it starts off fine enough, it's a simple speech bubble with white/black text.

It sort of flip-flops between having a shadow/glow and not having one, which although confusing and hurts my eyes sometimes, not a deal breaker! The bubbles are all colour coded also so no matter the scene, you understand who is talking. That is very good! I like that! I wish the colours weren't as bright as the backgrounds, but I understand why they are.

Volume 2 introduces what I consider my favorite of the lettering styles, big bold outlines with bubbles that better surround the text!

It's easily the most recognizable lettering style of all the volumes, and it's very readable. It's simple, but lettering is at it's best when it's simple and understandable.

This volume's lettering also introduces colour coded words & different fonts.

Which, I think looks lovely! It adds personality, and since fonts carry different tones with them, it helps with emphasis and how people read the dialogue. However, this isn't to say I think this lettering is perfect.. I'm not a huge fan of the random dots & spots, I think they clutter up the page when there too many characters on screen speaking, which distracted me from focusing on the actual words they were saying.

It also changes mid-way through volume 2! Suddenly, we get character-coded dots & spots... Which, cool in theory, but in practice, as I mentioned, it clutters the page if there's too many characters speaking at once.

Plus, they're used on background characters who do not appear again after their introduction, which is such a waste... If you're going to introduce these character-specific details, they should be used on characters who are important, not character we'll never see again.

When we get to volume 3 & 4, the lettering style almost completely solidifies, the same big bold outlining from volume 2... But now instead of just having personalized dots, we get fully personalized speech bubbles. Which, again, cool in theory! But in practice it's just... So hard to read.

On lettering, I will applaud the use of a custom hand-written font. It looks great! It's fairly clear and adds a nice touch to the comic's overall appearance... But how they use the font is, in my opinion, awful. Characters talk way too much for how much page space there is, which means that there isn't enough space for the bubble to encompass the text, which means text needs to get smaller.

These pages are over 2000 pixels wide and tall, but there's no consideration for how the images & text will look when shrunk down to fit into a normal browser page, which means the text gets tiny and barely readable if there's too much of it - which there often is. I'll get into how I feel about the writing in a moment.

On the panel work, it's fine, it's not super jaw-dropping but it's serviceable. Where the panel work starts to fail though, is it's pacing. See, in comics, pacing is extremely important, good pacing means a better and clearer reading experience, bad pacing can leave the reader confused and force them to reread repeatedly to understand what's going on.

Sparklecare suffers from this heavily, I feel. Take a look to this page below, while not the worst example of it, I think demonstrates a bit what I mean.

There's a lot of text, similar looking shots, and... Very little background to help, well, ground where we are, which made me feel dizzy while reading. There's not a lot of proper flow, because speech bubbles float all over the place, often times out of order in which you are supposed to read them. You tend to dart your eyes all over the page to "properly" read it, which makes for a bad reading experience - the clearer the order is, the better the flow.

On backgrounds, I do not like the near-complete lack of them. Sparklecare gets around backgrounds by filling the colour voids of the panels with dots, specks, lines and patterns - but they don't do the job! It makes the pages feel more cluttered and difficult to look at and read.

Even when they do have backgrounds, they're also filled to the brim with patterning to take your mind off how often strange they look.

Being unable to see what's going on is a reoccurring issue with the comic, and it doesn't just end at the panel work or backgrounds...

The character designs in Sparklecare also contribute to the visual clutter, what with many of them having many small details or otherwise being unpleasant to look at due to their colour palette.

Here's a few examples of characters I think have too much going on or are just eyesores. And see, I get it, they're supposed to be sparkleanimals - designed like a kid on DeviantArt was making them in 2011, but you can get that look without making the designs hurt to look at. Sparklecare both tries to work within a limited palette and tries to have every colour possible on a character and it pulls neither off well. Not to mention, the multitude of small dots & details, adding more to the pile of small dots in the comic.

When a ton of characters are on screen, it tends to make things more confusing to look at - due in part also to the comic's continuity issue. Things or characters that are in one panel or page, will disappear the next, or swap places. Overall, small art issues pile up onto a mess of bright colours and rainbow.

Now here's where we get to the fun point, The writing. Oh boy! For the most part, or at least in volumes 1 & 2, the writing is completely fine. Complicated, a bit odd, but nothing to scream about... Until volumes 3 & 4, because that's when the issues in the writing really starts to show it's rainbow-speckled face.

I'll be direct, I don't like the writing in Sparklecare. The characters are typically unlikable or annoying, and when they do have something interesting going for them, it gets walked back on for plot reasons. Characters also seem to be unable to do wrong, unless they're deliberately out to be the bad one. Characters will do something bad, but get reassured that everything is fine and it isn't their fault even though they did something bad - which is weird the first time, but awful the next 40.

The writing does have it's good points (I liked most of the writing in volume 2, I thought Hemera's struggles with wanting to keep her friends safe was really interesting and I liked the chunklings), but there's prominent issues I can't shove aside.

I namely have issues with the humor, specifically it's uh... Sexual humor. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a good penis joke every now and then, but volume 4 has about 5x the sex jokes of any volume. It was genuinely horrible to sit through because I knew every serious moment would get a joke about stroking it a page or two afterwards.

(One note on that first image there, it happens right after Barry [the green guy] completely belittles and insults Uni [the purple one]...)

The meta humor also felt very, very forced.

It always came out of nowhere, and completely out of place every time it was used. I like meta humor also, but this is supposed to be a more serious comic, yes? I mean, it should be considering the topics at hand, so suddenly throwing in references to this being a comic feels weird to read.

I will say, I do like some of the jokes, specifically these ones:

Let me circle back to the character writing really quick, because there was characters I enjoyed! ... Just not the main ones.

I think, out of everyone, my favorite characters were:

Several background characters with no lines

Dr. Party

Cyn

Jean

Rem

I also really enjoyed how Cuddles was written in volume 1 & 2, he felt very threatening to me.

Outside of these characters though, I found little interest in the main cast and even found myself rooting for the downfall of a few of them due to their poor writing.

Specifically on Barry, there's a small arc in volume 2 where he realizes he needs to stop violently denying that Uni has magic (Which is a stupid plot in my opinion, by the way, considering the worldbuilding has a lot of magic in it. You'd think the smart guy character would know that?) after Uni's magic helps them in the dump. However, right afterwards, in volume 3 & 4, Barry goes right back to verbally assaulting Uni about how magic isn't real! It's not enjoyable to read, and makes no sense to me after what happened in volume 2.

One note, since I don't know where to put this but, I don't like doom. I really don't ... I think I'm supposed to feel bad for him? But I can't! I saw him in volume 1 take glee in having power over the patients, and as the site states:

Doom is not a normal nurse, because he takes on the role of a doctor by harming people alongside regular nurse duties.

He literally tortures people! I'm sorry, I cannot forgive that! No matter how bad he feels about it.

Some more notes on writing before I end this because it's getting too long.. The disability rep in Sparklecare is, questionable sometimes. For the most part I think it's perfectly fine, buuut there are moments I don't think of fondly.. Specifically this moment in volume 2:

Barry starts having a paranoid and panicky moment due to his contamination OCD (Because they're in a literal trash heap) and Uni decides to...

Call it cute??? Genuinely what the hell, who thought this was a good thing to put in here? I haven't read the spin-off AU comic, but I hear it treats it's character with OCD even weirder. Yuck!

On a related note, I hate the cutesy names for disorders. They don't even come up often in-universe, there's little purpose in having them, especially if most of them are just real life, actual disorders. I know it's about an abusive hospital but come on man! You don't have to use baby names for everything! You don't even follow the weird naming pattern for everything! Things like autism don't get a weird cutesy name, but OCD and depression get one? Have some consistency if you're gonna make a weird universe decision.

Alrighty.. This should be the end of it, I'm not sure how to end it because there's still more I want to talk about! I'm super-duper open to talking about anything I've said here or elaborating on why I feel certain ways. This is in no way meant to be a hit-piece of the creator of Sparklecare, I think there's a lot of protentional, and I simply adore some aspects of the comic (Specifically visually). I really do hope this comic will improve over time and that it sees a long life of success.

If you come to this post to disagree, I ask you read through what I say carefully and come at me respectfully, I have no interest in fighting with people over a webcomic about furries.

-Mod Star

[sp4ceboo]

Stray Kids Playing Mario Wonder: Headcanons

A/N: so i've been playing mario wonder with my sister and suddenly inspiration hit, hope yall enjoy this because i sure as hell did

tw: swearing but like once

chan:

has to play yoshi because he's Secretly Awful at Video Games™ 1.0

once he realises he can slurp things up with yoshi's tongue he does it constantly, even when there's nothing to attack, and continues to imitate the noise long after the boys have finished playing

does this really cute facial expression that looks nothing like yoshi but the boys don't tell him that because he looks really smol and adorable

plays blue yoshi because he likes 'his little purple booties'

fake cries with Yoshi every time he does the weird fluttering thing after a jump

100% puffs his cheeks out every time he catches stuff in Yoshi's mouth

in general a precious cutie patootie when they play so the boys don't yell at him when he dies by falling into lava for the 30000th time

more under the cut

minho:

takes out every single enemy they come across, regardless if it needs to be killed or not

the boys switch on the badge that gives money when enemies are killed but then lino maxes out the coins so they switch it back off

plays blue toad secretly wishes he could be toadette but he's not gonna take it from felix

his favourite power up is the fire because with it he is DEADLY - best believe he'll be keeping it, enemies aren't getting near him with that shit

willing and able to steal people's controllers if they can't jump somewhere so he can do it for them

in general, he's super deadly and not to be messed with, carries a lot of the time and develops a tunnel vision mode where he can filter out the antics going on around him (mainly screaming because changbin died again)

changbin:

Secretly Awful at Video Games™ 2.0

delivers a huge speech about his love for bowser every time he appears, followed by an optional peaches duet with felix

lives for the boss fights even though they're not all that, cheers very loudly every time he hits bowser junior

gets personally offended if he gets attacked by one of the npc characters, gets even more offended when he inevitably fails to kill them

tries to move around when there are cut scenes (everyone can just hear him fiddling with his joystick)

started off playing daisy (hyun took peach) but then got banned so is a yoshi - he took red yoshi because he thinks he's the most badass

in general, he is the reason why the boys playing mario wonder is so chaotic

hyunjin:

refuses to be anyone but peach

extra dramatic when he dies, and cries irl whenever peach hits her head on the ceilings until minho threatens to feed him tissues

makes everyone stop if he wants to investigate some tubes, then sulks if there was nothing there

laughs hysterically whenever one of the yoshis have to carry an elephant powered up character, and tries to jump on chan/changbin's back at any given moment because his 'legs are tired'

actually manages to not die despite not being invincible like the yoshis or nabbit but is also sort of useless

enjoys the scenery in the background way too much (thinks the fluff puff peaks are super aesthetic, and it's fair enough)

in general, he's very dramatic (who's surprised) and highkey thrives off the chaos changbin creates

jisung:

huge chaos along with changbin

is actually good but plays nabbit because he tends to try to do crazy things and die so the boys ban him from playing a player that takes enemy damage

purposefully takes the power ups even though they don't work on him just to deprive minho everyone else

can and will freestyle/hum over the music while he runs around in the game, jumping on shit

loud screeching ensues every time they get a wonder seed and change into goombas/other trippy things because he thinks it's so cute

in general, just as chaotic as changbin but dies less + his freestyling over the music is kinda cool

felix:

plays toadette

massive cutie when he plays

copies game characters noises except in his extremely low voice or sings peaches when bowser comes on screen

always makes sure to squeeze changbin's biceps console changbin when he dies

always the one to revive people when they die, which leads to minho not letting anyone else revive him apart from felix

in general is seriously cracked but always waits for everyone to catch up when he plays (that one time when chan couldn't for the life of him climb up that one wall)

seungmin:

cracked

ruthless

purposely avoids people if they need reviving

fights with jeongin to get top of the flagpole

does rock paper scissors with jeongin every time they play to see who is mario and who is luigi

has to have the little crown about his head at all times, if not, he's going to do anything in his ability to get it back

roasts anyone who dies by falling off stuff (mainly changbin)

likes to dash while hitting enemies away with his trunk when he's got the elephant power up

in general, he's deadly and jumps with terrifying precision - this boy is never gonna die because of skill issue

jeongin:

alternates between luigi and mario because of seungmin

secretly likes luigi more but he knows seungmin wants mario so pretends he also wants mario

sometimes looks up the secret easter eggs etc. but he normally spots them before he needs to look it up

favourite power up is the bubble one because he likes jumping on the bubbles

makes sure to sit as far away from hyunjin as he can otherwise hyunjin will deafen him/cling onto him/do that thing where he agressively messes up jeongin's hair

in general, he's good - not as good as felix but he's unflappable and not distractable so tends to be seungmin's main contender

stray kids taglist: @sleepyleeji

[amuseoffyre]

Time for round 2 of my look back on Stede's S1 clothes with the new layers added by S2.

This will probably entirely be focused on episode 4, because there's a heck of a lot of stuff going on here, what with the flashbacks and everything.

I've done previous posts about a lot of his outfits in Bridgetown that make him blend in with the backgrounds, but I also want to take a look at them in the context of who he was and the people around him.

First we have the carriage suit, when he's basically being sold off in marriage for a land-contract.

Compared to his father's austere black outfit, Stede's outfit is very, very dramatically different with the patterns. But specifically, it is the colour and pattern of the interior of the carriage. Like the carriage, he is a commodity, an object to be used and disposed with as Dad Bonnet sees fit.

Also I love that they put Stede and Mary in opposite colour palettes from the word go: she's in light clothes while his are mostly dark; he's sitting on a pale seat with a darker background while she's sitting on a dark seat with a pale one. A set up for contrast and contradiction.

Next we cut to the wedding flashback and Stede's still in the same cut and style of coat, but like Mary has an extra froth of lace on his cravat. It's a wedding. Gots to be special. (And again, the blue/white froth combo when he's near the sea)

The colour of the coat is fascinating. Reds, browns and grey with that splash of teal in there. It's not a colour we see Stede in much, but significantly, across both seasons red in a fabric becomes the symbol of love. Here it's subdued and dulled down by stronger colours, which makes sense when he's a man who wanted to marry for love. No place for all-out red here.

When we jump forward several years, the clothes are telling more of a story. Stede is in blue-toned (sea) clothing when we know he's already well on his way to planning his ship, while Mary is dressed in earthy tones (land) with flowers.

They're in contrasting colours again. There's no scene where they're together that they ever actually match their clothing. Even in the family painting from episode 1, Stede is in his blue tones while Mary and the children are in warm yellows and browns.

But - adorably - when Stede is playing with the kids, they're wearing shades of blues and greens like he was, a sign that he did have some connection with them, even as tenuous as it was.

And look at that scale motif on his waistcoat :D Someone had mermish aspirations.

On we go and to the wedding anniversary gifts and what I love about this outfit is that this is the very, very first time we see all Stede's outfit turn towards the warmer end of the spectrum.

He's had his ship built and he's about to tell his wife about it and this is the closest he's come to matching her right before he tells her this fab thing he's done for the whole family, including her. His waistcoat is nearly identical in colour to her dress.

The fact that he dons her colour and it's the same colour as his battle jacket? Interesting, no? Which also happens to be the colour of cowardice and fear. And yet ironically, also hope and warmth. It's a fine, fine line.

And then we have the nightshirt with the golden waves embroidered on it. Sir, your yearning is strong.

Oh and to get back on the yellow horse, our man ran away without telling one while wearing a yellow outfit. That really is his colour coded towards being afraid but Doing the Thing anyway.

And now, we're back to the present and Stede is once more in his bed nook in his yellow battle jacket, lamenting what a terrible pirate he is. Second time in 4 episodes. Well done, sir. Your emoting Jacket is working.

And I just had to take a moment to go and cackle into a cushion when I was capping the next moment, because Stede's next outfit is comprised of what I like to call the Slutty Red Breeches of Lurve.

Because he went into his closet with this man who showed a keenness for fingering fine fabrics and especially asked about silk. So what does our man Stede do? Grabs a pair of silk breeches in the canonically confirmed colour of love and holds them right in front of his crotch with a beaming, optimistic smile on his face :D

And the very very next frigging scene starts with Blackbeard's head level in the shot with Stede's red-clad crotch. I mean. I JUST. I'M THINKING THINGS.

But digressing. Yes. Stede does in fact have Pants of Lurve. And more significantly, he lets Ed get into his pants within an hour of meeting him 🤣

Also significantly Stede keeping his collar open is new. He's had it open before after being locked up or having his shirt shredded, but he's being a little saucy and wearing a gaping nearly translucent shirt with no waistcoat. Positively a harlot XD Combine that with the red "come touch my silk" breeches, he is flirting with his clothes, even if he doesn't realise it.

And last but not least, we have Stede's final outfit of the episode:

What I love the most about this is that it's clear he's absolutely comfy in those clothes. Right now, he looks so out of place in it, because we've only seen him presenting himself the way he thinks he has to present himself.

Yes, he likes his silks and frills and fripperies, but knowing that down the line, he gets leather trousers of his own, he's not limiting himself to what he thinks he should wear's meant to wear to fit in. He's a man who wears what he wants and likes, regardless of whether he "should" :)

Episode 1 - 3 / Episodes 5-6

[blackberryandpeppermint]

I’m watching the ace attorney live action movie so you’re gonna have to hear my unhinged thoughts. Liveblog under the cut

God they made the whole spirit channeling sequence look horrifying. I heard that the movie was directed by a horror director and I can definitely see it. Also I love the detail that Mia and Maya were there it just makes it that much sadder. And the implication that Gregory intentionally lied to protect Miles ooof.

Love the parallels between Miles’s and Phoenix’s trials with miles being calm and collected and Phoenix being a hot mess. Also the Dee Vasquez cameo and the turnabout samurai reference. Also the trash confetti lol

I love that Von Karma randomly has a horse skull. Also the foreshadowing of him rubbing his shoulder.

Ooh I like getting to see Mia investigate dl6

Steel samurai jumpscare + Phoenix and Larry friendship

Phoenix why on earth would you pick up the murder weapon with your bare hands. Also Gumshoe!

The childhood flashback my heart 🥹🥹

Damn they really emphasize how grim the three day trial system is. Also von karma in the gallery is a nice touch

I know that the projector dropping was supposed to be dramatic but it was so over the top it made me laugh

What the fuck did they do to my boi red white. They made him emo😭😭. Also making him a reporter instead of a ceo is an interesting choice but clearly they wanted to simplify the case so the could focus on dl6

I love that dystopian future projector ™️ is apparently controlled by dramatic finger snaps and desk slams

And now he has a megaphone because reasons.

Phoenix screaming and tossing papers everywhere seems very in character

The project also comes with trumpet effects and virtual and real confetti good to know. Also maya sitting there deadpan with the confetti is way funnier than it should be

How did they manage to make the blue badger more terrifying

Damn Maya braking down and yelling at white was heart wrenching. Let Maya be angry 2k16

Ooh Phoenix and Maya deciding to investigate dl6 for Mia’s sake is the good shit.

The evidence room? The weapon a piece of evidence? Interesting. Wonder why they changed it since the circumstances of dl6 are so vital to the aa universe. Maybe they wanted to add suspense for longtime fans?

Also damn that cut to yogi and edgeworth

Of course the blue badger has a matching umbrella also him holding it for gumshoe lol

Also what is going on with Maya’s scarf

Lotta’s bedazzled camera. Love hippie lotta

Von karma and Phoenix awkwardly shaking hands

Edgeworth’s face when lotta said she wanted to be a witness

Nessie… well it is gourd lake… Gourdy!!!

What’s going on with Redd white lol. Why is he so edgy

“My cravat does not flutter” everyone collapses in shock

I appreciate that the high tech projects can be used as projectiles

Did yogi keep Polly in a fucking locker

The fucking tv in the flashback

How did they make dl6 even more convoluted

Phoenix talking very slowly to draw out the verdict is once again very in character

The empty husk of the blue badger inexplicably showing up to stop the verdict is the scariest thing I’ve seen in a long time

Polly shitting on the floor and demanding food while Phoenix tries to question her

The look on his face when Polly climbs on him

Damn I feel so bad for Yogi he didn’t deserve all that

Also the scene where he burned off his fingerprints was brutal

Also him training Polly the bird to say I love you so he could pretend his wife was still there was heartbreaking

Love Maya dramatically playing piano in the background

Phoenix shitting himself at Mia’s appearance

Von karmas motives make a lot less sense without the penalty

Larry crouching in anticipation lol

Paper stack ex machina

God damn that’s convoluted

Man is there anything that the future projected can’t do. Now it has bullet analyzing lasers

Also the gun firing because it bounced of yogis back is so stupid and so fucking funny

What the fuck is going on with those camera cuts with Von karma’s breakdown

Larry playing with the confetti is cute

I love the detail of the poor workers that have to sweep up the confetti

Phoenix wanting to take on yogis defense is really sweet and such a good characterization choice

Music swells on the worlds most homosexual handshake

Them yelling at Larry lol

Mayas suitcase is cute :)

Gay eye contact

Jamming ninja and engarde cameo at the very end

And one final objection to round us out

Overall I enjoyed it it was a fun time. Definitely super over the top but it’s ace attorney so it comes with the name. There was some things I didn’t like like the changing of the circumstances of dl6 and the lack of development with phoenix and Maya’s friendship but overall it was enjoyable

[kritischetheologie]

Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it — for the ask game.

Plot is good, but sometimes what I love about fic is the utterly beautiful prose authors use. Like, strip away everything else, and the words are still perfect.

(writing asks) (more writing asks) (please I don't want to do my job it's fucking friday)

I was waiting to answer this until I de-anon'ed saltwater and gasoline, because I think it has a lot of my best prose I've written.

But I think the fic is actually sparser, from a prose perspective, than a lot of what I've previously written; Charles as a narrator doesn't tend to ruminate as much as, say, Nico. So there aren't so many scenes that I would say are just prose, where I could say that it's just beautiful. The longest extended prose scene without any action or dialogue is Charles crying in the car; I'll do a Director's Commentary of it below the cut.

Max out-qualifies him by two thousandths of a second. [In the scene that precedes this, Charles has been really looking back and reflecting on how he felt about the prospect of winning for Ferrari, how bad he finally wants to win now that he's at Merc, etc. This line is meant to be a smash cut, a very dramatic shift.]

Someone [Bono. That's meant to be fairly obvious to the reader, but Charles isn't thinking about it right now-- he's too deep in his head] gives the order to roll the garage doors down between him and the cameras in the pitlane [Charles is very aware of his public perception, especially in Vegas, in this moment, and so this is meant to feel like the deepest type of protective gesture. Also, the fact that it's framed as an order... hot.] , and sends the mechanics packing, and then Charles is entirely alone in his car in the empty garage. [The fact that IRL Charles actually canonically said the car feels like a nest to him. ok.] He’s not ready to get out and face the world yet. [This is one of the tenderest lines in the whole fic, imho, because obviously, when he was at Ferrari, they were the thing he was most afraid to face. There's a very deep contrast being drawn here between the constant fear he felt at Ferrari and the safety he feels in the Mercedes garage.]

He takes his helmet off and holds it in his hands, looking at the red and white stripe of the Monegasque flag, bright against a white background. [Ok. So. Obviously I need to think about, yknow, Color Theory, because how does White On White actually work oops. The answer can be that the flag has like a black border or something just roll with me here. But the point is (and we're going to get more explicit about this in a second) that Charles is thinking about his home, his family, the narratives he's built his life around, the weight of the different identity claims placed on him... the flag on the helmet also, though I didn't think about this consciously, might be calling Seb to mind as well. His season isn’t over. They have so much left to fight for. But it’s been nothing but neon and flashbulbs and screaming crowds for two days [poor overstimulated bb :(], and Charles’s nerves are fried, and after everything, all that he’s managed to accomplish is a second-place start that will all but guarantee him a second-place finish. Again. [I didn't really specify what season this fic takes place in-- there's references to the first Las Vegas GP the year before, but that's about it-- but in my head, Lewis retires after beating Charles and Max in 2023, and this season is 2024. Which means that Charles is on track for his third season in a row finishing runner up in the Championship. We see him catastrophizing about the season earlier in the fic, but this is a more realistic sort of resignation.]

That thought is all it takes for him to start crying [He's finally admitted to himself that he wants it, and now he's losing it.], and then the last fissure holding his emotions back finally shatters open inside him, and he cries harder than he ever has before. He cries like he’d never been able to when Jules passed [This is the only reference we get to Jules by name in the fic. I didn't want to dwell on it, and I think that if anything, I might have understated the role that Jules played in Charles's thinking about Ferrari, but given how much additional trauma I was putting Charles through, I really didn't want to go rooting around in the real stuff.], or his father, when he had to force himself to look strong for the cameras and get back in the car to race [The Baku 2017 podium remains one of the most striking images of Charles we've ever seen. But again, there's the focus on public image, etc]. It’s been years since he’s cried anything but silently [I went back to the other moments in the fic when Charles cries, such as the dinner with Seb, to make sure that was consistent.], but he lets a sound escape his throat that can only be described as keening, it’s so inhumanly sharp.

He’s not sure how long he stays in the garage, but no one comes to bother him. Some deep part of him knows that no one will [The part of him that trusts Bono wholly]. He can stay here, safe, for as long as he needs [Which is really what Charles has been looking for, throughout this entire fic]. And so he lets his body be wracked by sobs, until he feels like he’ll tear the muscles in his chest, until there’s nothing left un-mourned.

Eventually, his tears slow. He focuses on his breathing, running through techniques that have become second-nature to him by now. [He can calm himself down. This was extremely important to me, because I needed to demonstrate the way that Bono's influence has actually made him stronger and more self-sufficient, instead of having him just be there as a constant support.] The garage is heady with the scent of motor fuel. He can taste the salt of his own tears in his mouth. [I didn't want to do a Title Drop in the exact words, here, because what they represent for Charles is beginning to shift. This is home to him, now.] He breathes slowly, deeply, until he’s brought his heartrate back down to normal and filled his entire body with peace.

It’s only once he’s come back to himself that Charles realizes he’s not alone. Bono is sitting at his usual seat at his computer, his monitor dark, his chair turned around to face Charles’s car. [The nerd in me is like: why does Mercedes have their garage set up such that the principal and the engineers are in the garage and not on the pitwall like on every other team. But that aside, I wanted this moment to feel like a surprise, but not a jump-scare. Bono's presence is a comfort to Charles-- the familiarity of his "usual seat," etc. The dark monitor and the turned-around chair tell the reader that he's not here by happenstance, or finishing up work; his attention is entirely focused on Charles.] He must have come in while Charles was crying, quietly enough that Charles couldn’t hear him.

[mostlyfate]

Eh? Komi-san... are you? Cutting your eraser in half for me!!? Desperate! You're desperate, Komi-san. YES. I support you! keep it up! Komi-saaaan! KOMI-SAN WA, KOMYUSHOU DESU (2021)

[hercleverboy]

surprise

matthew gray gubler x reader 

based off of this request > heyyyy i saw that you’d possibly write for mgg, so to keep it sweet and simple, could i request a fluffy fic about you surprising him on set after not seeing each other for a while. 

genre > fluff 

wc > 1.9k

after weeks without seeing her boyfriend, the reader decides to surprise him on set. 

It had been three weeks since Y/N had seen her boyfriend. 

An awfully long, seemingly never-ending three weeks. 

He’d gone to a different state for the film he was currently working on and was going to be gone for five weeks in total. 

She’d wanted to go with him and found it hard to say no when he’d asked, but she had work commitments that she had to uphold. Matthew had understood, obviously, being the compassionate partner he was. He’d told her she was more than welcome to stay at his house while he was away. They didn’t live together yet, having only been together for five months, but Matthew had made space in his wardrobe for her clothes, and the house was full of little objects she brought with her from home. Like her toothbrush sat by his by the sink, and her hair straighteners inhabiting one of the drawers in his desk. She practically lived there at that point, and Matthew was always telling her - ‘You know, you might as well move in now. All of your stuff is here already’, accompanied by that cheeky grin of his. 

She wanted desperately to visit him, knowing she had two days off work coming up and could afford to go and visit Matthew for a long weekend. However, she was hesitant. Five months wasn’t a long time, although they had been friends for a few months before they officially got together. She knew she was in love with him, she’d told him as much and had never been happier than when he returned the sentiment. But she couldn’t help but worry that it would seem clingy if she visited him, especially while he was working. Would he even want her to visit? Her head spiralled with what ifs and possible outcomes. She didn’t want him to feel smothered, or even be put off by it all. 

At first, she figured she would just wait for him to get back. It was only another two weeks that he was gone for, she could handle that, right? Right. But then again, there was only so much that facetiming and daily texts could do. 

She missed him. 

She missed waking up next to him, cooking dinner with him in the evenings. She missed his presence, more than anything. The house was too big for her alone, it felt cold and empty without his warming presence. 

She was sat on his couch, clicking through the channels when the familiar ringtone cut through the air. She picked up her phone, swiping right to answer the call. She held her phone up with a smile as happy face of her boyfriend filled the screen.

“Hey, baby!” He beamed, with his usual excited tone. “How are you?”

“Hi! I’m good, I’m good. What about you, how was your day?” She could see from the background that he was back at his hotel, obviously having just gotten back from set.

“I’m great, now that I’m talking to you.” He smirked at the joke and laughed when Y/N shook her head at him with a smile. They chatted for a little about this and that, and Matthew made several jokes that nearly had her falling off the couch in laughter. That was one of the things she loved most about him, his humour. It never failed her.

As their laughter died down, she noticed how he seemed to just be staring at her through the screen, a small smile on his lips.

“What?” She asked shyly, her cheeks turning red as she blushed. 

“I miss you, you know.” His voice had become more serious, now holding a hint of sadness in his tone. 

She frowned a little at the sudden change in his tone, but still smiled sadly. “I miss you too,” She could feel herself getting slightly upset as she spoke. “So much.” 

He could tell she was getting upset, and so quickly changed the subject. “Well I’ll be home soon! Two weeks, if I’m lucky. Then you won’t be able to get rid of me.” He joked.

She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “Oh, god help me.”

He gasped theatrically, placing a hand over his chest, feigning hurt. “I can’t believe you said that. Maybe I’ll just stay here forever.” He counteracted.

She just laughed at his sarcasm, shaking her head. “No, no! You have to come back, I’m going crazy here in this big house without you.”

A comfortable silence fell between them.

“When you come home, I’m never letting you leave again. I hope you know that.” She grinned.

He just smiled. “Yes ma’am.”

They talked for a little while longer before saying their goodbyes, promising they’d speak whenever he was next free to talk.  As she clicked her phone off, she tossed it to the side with a sigh. There was a hole in her heart when Matthew wasn’t with her. It was like she was incomplete without him. It was funny, she thought, how in five short months he’d become the most important person in her life. 

She stared blankly up at the ceiling, head swimming with thoughts. She recalled how sad Matthew had looked when he told her he missed her, how his usually radiant energy dropped, and his tone was miles away from his usual one. Then, the idea popped into her head. 

Go visit him. If he doesn’t want you there, you can just go, right? 

She knew they hadn’t been together long, but as much as he tried to hide his upset while they were on the phone, she could see it in his eyes how much he missed her.

Within the hour, she had flights booked to visit him, and had been in contact with one of his co-stars, Jenny, who she’d met before as Matthew and her had worked together on a previous film, back when they were just friends. His co-star had agreed that Y/N coming to visit would help boost his mood, as she noticed how he’d seemed pretty down as of late. With her suitcase packed and ready to go, Y/N headed off to the airport; excited but still nervous.

*

She was exhausted from the pretty long flight and had taken a moment in the airport bathroom to freshen up the best she could, before heading towards the set, where Jenny had agreed to meet her. Jenny and her chatted as she showed Y/N to Matthew’s trailer. 

“You know how excited he’s gonna be to see you, right?” Jenny teased, nudging Y/N with her shoulder. 

“You think?” Y/N asked, still nervous he wouldn’t want to see her. 

Jenny turned to her, a look of shock on her face. “You are joking, right? I know you’ve not been together that long but trust me when I tell you that man is absolutely head over heels for you.” 

Y/N just smiled, still unsure. 

“He’s been so low these last few days. We all asked if he was okay, and he’d give us this forced smile, kinda downplay how upset he was that you weren’t here.” She gave a sad smile as they rounded the corner, coming up to where Matthew’s trailer was. 

“Well thank you so much for your help.” Y/N thanked, giving Jenny a hug. 

“Not a problem, Matthew’s just finishing up a scene, so he should be back in about 15 minutes.” 

Y/N bid Jenny goodbye, thanking her once more before walking up the steps into his trailer, closing the door behind her. She looked around, taking a deep breath before taking a seat on one of the chairs inside. She closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing and stop her slightly shaking hands. Why was she so nervous? He was her boyfriend, after all. And if he’d missed her as much as Jenny suggested, then he’d be happy to see her. 

Y/N was knocked from her thoughts at the sound of the trailer door creaking open. She could hear Matthew calling goodbye to some of his co-stars, his laughter sounding out as he made some joke. Oh, how she’d missed hearing that sound in person. He entered the trailer, eyes cast to the ground, still not having noticed her presence. It was only when he turned back after closing the door behind him that he lifted his gaze from the floor, his eyes widening in shook as his eyes landed on her. She was stood in front of the chair, and sheepish grin on her lips. 

She raised her hand in a little wave. “Hi.” 

Matthew seemed frozen, like he couldn’t believe she was really stood in front of him. As soon as he came back down to earth a large smile appeared on his lips and he surged forward, wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace and lifting her from the ground. “Y/N! You’re here!”

She squealed as he picked her up, her arms going around his neck. “I am.”

He pulled back, lowering her down gently. “What- what’re you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, obviously.” He asked with a smile. 

“Uh well, on the phone yesterday you just seemed really down, and I figured me paying you a visit might help you keep your spirits up.” She shrugged, and he looked down at her like she was something he’d never seen before - an angel walking the earth. 

He just smiled at her words, bending down and hugging her again. “I missed you so much.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to her head.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I guess I was just scared I’d be overstepping.”

He pulled back slightly, a frown on his face. “Why would you think that?”

She shrugged a little. “It’s just we haven’t been together that long and I didn’t know if you- if you even wanted me to come and visit.” It sounded silly and insecure now that she was saying it out loud, but her worries were quashed when Matthew adamantly shook his head.

“Y/N I don’t care how long we’ve been together. This is exactly what I needed. I needed you.” He grinned, cupping her cheeks in his hands.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god.” She grinned, giggling a little. 

He beamed back, moving forward to gently press his lips to hers in a long-awaited kiss. When they pulled back, he smiled down at her. “How long do I have you for?”

“Four days, it’s all I could get off from work. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first, is that okay?” She bit her lip. But he just chuckled at her, nodding.

“It’s more than okay.” His voice cracked a little, and the sound made her frown. She noticed the tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey. Don’t get upset, it’s okay.” She whispered, and he gave a small laugh, moving her thumbs to wipe under his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just missed you. So much.” His hands came down to rest on her waist, pulling her closer.

“I missed you too. But hey, you have four days of my undivided attention. I’m all yours.” She joked and he smiled.

“Good, cause I reckon we have a lot of time to make up for.” He smirked, leaning back down to kiss her again.

When they pulled back, she just grinned up at him. “So, you gonna show me around set?”

His face lit up. “Of course! I’ll be the best damn tour guide you ever met.” He joked, offering her his hand as he pulled her toward the door. Just before they reached it, he turned back to her. “I love you, you know that? Thank you for doing this.”

She blushed, basking in the warmth that those three simple words brought her. With his job, their relationship wasn’t always going to be easy, but they would make it work.

“I love you, too.”

*

Tag list > @beyonces-breastmilk @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @thelovelyrose @averyhotchner @cynbx

[fallindomino]

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

[peach-pops]

Famous S/O HC

This is very self-indulgent cause I’m the type to make up fake scenarios where I’m famous and going on interviews and press tours asfjdks. If you guys want, I’ll make more of these! Oikawa+Tsukishima underneath the cut!

How The Haikyuu Boys Find out that You’re Famous

-Bokuto- (Pro-Athlete) 

Bokuto knew you were an athlete but he had NO IDEA that you were super famous. Like he always thought it was normal for people to come up to you after your game to ask for pictures or autographs ??? 

I mean that’s why he was so drawn to you because of how much passion you had for your said sport cause duh he could relate

One day when you two were out at the mall, he told you that he needed to get new shoes to work out in and so the two of you went into the Nike store so he could look around

He was looking through the shoe aisle and after almost two hours of looking through the same shelves, he finally found a pair he liked (shopping with him is so time-consuming but that’s for a different day) 

when he found a pair he liked, the two of you made your way to the cashier to pay for his shoes. As the cashier was ringing Bokuto up, his eyes traveled up to the large poster/banner that was directly behind the cashier’s area and smiled to himself

It was a colorful promotional banner with a bunch of top athletes from around the world and as he’s looking at the banner, he sees this girl and he nudged you like,” Babe, she looks like you!” 

You look up from your phone and sure enough, you’re plastered on the wall posing with other athletes

“ Oh yeah, I didn’t think this shoot would come out until next month.”

Bokuto didn’t even process what you just said but my dude behind the cash register stopped scanning the shoes to turn his head to the banner and he turned PALE. 

He even does a double-take cause hold up, is there seriously a pro athlete in front of him?

“ Oh my god...You’re Y/N L/N!”

“ How do you know my…” Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the banner again and he even squinted like hold up

AND IT ALL SUDDENLY CLICKS FOR HIM

“ Y/N? That’s you!” 

“ Yeah-”

Bokuto can’t even believe it and he totally spaced out when you take a selfie with the guy behind the register with the banner in the background like UMMM HIS GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS WHAAAAAA

“ YOU’RE ON A NIKE POSTER OH MY GOD! LOOK YOU’RE ON THIS MAGAZINE WHA-”

Dude is totally making a scene in this store but he does not give a single fuck

As he’s walking you back home, he’s looking up all of your stats and even watches a compilation called “ 100 times Y/N L/N was a beast!” and he’s just shooketh 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A FREAKING PRO ATHLETE??”  

“ I didn’t think it was a big deal I mean, you’re pretty famous too babe.” 

“ I DON’T HAVE A PROMOTIONAL BANNER WITH NIKE!” 

He’s not salty at all he’s just a bit emo cause he felt bad that he never even noticed before

As your fame grows, so does Bokuto’s with his volleyball career. You and him are described as a powerhouse couple and it really hypes the two of you up like THE POWER YALL POSSESS TOGETHER ON AND OFF THE COURT/FIELD/WHATEVER

Lots of training together and joint interviews together like Wired autocomplete or your favorite ~THIRST TWEETS~

“ ~Bokuto could spike a volleyball in my face, crack my nose in two different places, and I’d thank him~ oh my god that’s horrible I would never do that.”

“ I mean, you’ve done it before haven’t you?”

“ That was different anyway, your turn Y/N!” 

*passes that clunky ass bucket*

“ ~Y/N L/N, please tie me up and- oh my god this is too dirty I can’t! My mom will watch this!” 

If you’re a pro volleyball player, you two get compared a lot and it bugged you at first since you felt like you two were two very different in terms of playing style but after a while, you both started to encourage the idea of your own playful rivalries like comparing stats and wins

But if you’re in a different sport, you two get asked questions like who’s sport is harder or what it would be like if you two switched sports like??? But because you two are in different fields, you both have such major respect for each other cause you can’t even imagine how much hard work it is 

He absolutely does not mind it at all when fans approach you two if you guys are on a date. He knows how important your relationship with fans are, especially if they’re younger girls who look up to you as a role model

Bokuto will fall in love with you all over again whenever you crouch down to a younger fan ughhhghgh

He doesn’t care for the paparazzi to be honest. he knows it comes with the territory but he will get a bit protective if they start to get too close to you 

“ Hey, we’re just trying to get back home so just let us through please,” but if it continues, he will not give a single fuck about being nice,” dude, what did I just say? Back off!” 

Mad!bokuto will be the death of me

He knows how stressful it is being a pro athlete but he will always remind you how proud he is of you and if he ever sees you overworking, he will make sure you take a day off even if that means just napping together all day

Long story short, Bokuto would be amazing to have by your side as you’re navigating being in the public eye and you may quote me on that

-Oikawa- (Actress)

This attention whore I swear 

So Oikawa knows that you act but he doesn’t know that you’re an actress (which is basically the same thing) 

Like as a kid you were in commercials and you had a small role in a tv show but it wasn’t like it was super popular. 

But what Oikawa didn’t know was that a couple months before you two started dating, you were flown out to America to star in an upcoming and highly anticipated movie 

since you were under a contract, you weren’t allowed to talk about it until the trailer dropped and it ate away at you because all you wanted to do was tell people especially your boyfriend 

ANYWAY He decided to take you on a date to the movie theatre and as you two were getting popcorn, these girls came up to you two 

“ Hi! Is it okay if we can get a picture with you?”

“Of course, how could I ever turn down my lovely fans-”

“ No, not you, Y/N!” 

Oikawa is just flabbergasted as the girls hand their phone to him so he can take a photo of you with your fans he deadass thinks it’s some prank

After the girls left, he gave you a weird-ass gaze and asked you what that was about but you just shrugged and told him that maybe it was because of ur mini part in that one tv show

So he thinks nothing about it and teased you that it was so cute how you had a mini fanbase and you weren’t going to lie, it was pretty freaking cool 

You guys entered your theatre and got settled into your seats as the movie trailers started to play. 

(Oikawa loves watching trailers like this dude is the type to take you 45 minutes before the movie actually begins JUST to make sure he doesn’t miss anything)

As you’re chilling in your seat, you see the trailer to your movie so you do your best to keep your eyes on your boyfriend and the screen at the same time cause you want to see his reaction

The trailer plays and Oikawa seemed to be interested in the movie but again, it’s like any normal trailer UNTIL he hears your voice coming from the screen and he immediately sits up in his seat 

“ Wait- was that your voice?”

“ My voice?”

“ Nevermind, I think I’m going crazy-”

AND THEN HE SEES YOU ON THE SCREEN! Since it’s a trailer it was just about five seconds of an intense/dramatic scene but it’s enough for Oikawa to lose his mind

“ OH MY GOD THAT IS YOU!”

This prompts some people in the audience to shush him but Oikawa doesn’t care

“ OH SHUSH THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND! Y/N! THAT’S YOU!”

“ Toru oh my god yes that’s me but stop screaming or they’re gonna kick us out!” You whispered loudly as Oikawa clamped his hand over his mouth 

He’s so happy and he’s beaming with pride so he pulls out his phone and  records the trailer to post it in his group chat cause duh he wants to show the boys how proud he is but when he sees you kissing someone else for .6 seconds, Oikawa just (ㆆ_ㆆ) and stops recording

“ Are you okay babe?”

“ Was that real or CGI?”

“ The building crumbling is all CGI-”

“ No...the kiss.”

THIS DUMBASS LMAO HE’S SO SALTY AND JEALOUS 

“ Why didn’t you tell me you were this good?” 

“ I- I was always this good! But I couldn’t say anything, I’m under a contract!”

“ But you could’ve told me! I wouldn’t have told a soul!” 

That’s a whole ass lie, if he knew, he would’ve bragged about it to Iwaizumi 

But foreal, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend like as months pass and your following gets bigger, he just gushes cause yep that’s his famous girlfriend ( he will 100% use you sometimes for clout)

this dude LOVES bragging to his friends that he’s dating a famous actress. Like he was always showing you off and hyping you up before but it gives him such an ego boost when people find out the two of you are dating

Oikawa is an attention whore like I said so you know whenever the paparazzi appears, he eats it up and will pose which is SOO embarrassing like pls why do u do this

But there are some days where you don’t want to get recognized and he 100% understands so the two of you will wear disguises as to not get recognized. One time you two ended up getting caught so he just grabbed your hand and the two of you SPRINTED back to the subway

He will have all of your movies on DVD and if your movie is on a streaming service, he will buy a membership JUST so he can watch your movie

Sometimes you’ll come over to his house and he’ll always try to make you watch your movie for the millionth time 

“ Toru, can we please watch something else?” 

“ But my extremely talented and beautiful girlfriend is in this movie why would I watch anything but this?” 

Don’t be fooled he WILL skip through any kissing scenes or scenes where your character shows any type of affection to another character

LOVESSS tagging along with you to photoshoots, interviews, red carpet events ALL OF IT

Red carpet events give him a chance to dress up and lowkey his outfit is always one of the best there. He won’t outshine you per se but fans actually look forward to see what he’ll be wearing and he’s not even in any of the movies I- 

Your schedule gets pretty busy once your career takes off and even though there are certain time periods where you’re across the world, it won’t stop him from sending huge bouquets to your set 

Basically, Oikawa is such a supportive boyfriend and is overall so proud of how you managed to juggle your studies with your acting career 10/10 best boy 

-Tsukishima- ( Musician/Singer)

You and Tsuki had only been dating for a bit and since it was all still new, he kept it on the down-low because the last thing he needed was his teammates pestering him about a girl 

Tsuki knew you liked to sing and write songs but you never told him about how well known you were simply because he never asked

He just assumed it was a side thing for you UNTIL he showed up to practice and some of his teammates were huddled around Noya watching something on his tablet

“ Move your elbow! I can’t see-”

“ Watch your hand-”

“ Shush! I can’t hear her-”

“ What are you idiots watching?” Tsuki asked as he craned his neck to look at the screen

No one answered him so he started to watch the music video and low and behold, your face popped up on screen singing along to your lyrics that he’s heard a million times

Tsuki is a bit taken aback cause why is his girlfriend in such a high production video and why is his heart feeling some type of way seeing you in that outfit

Like lemme just take off my glasses and see that again ( •_•)>⌐■-■

” Where did you guys get that video?”

“ What do you mean, it’s online? She’s trending right now-”

“ God all of her songs are so good I want to see her live-��� 

“ I can’t believe she goes to school with us-”

“ I wish she would step on me-”

“ Hey, don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Tsuki said dryly as he glares at the back of Noya’s head, which prompted everyone to turn around

“ You’re dating Y/N L/N? Ha! That’s funny Tsuki!” Tanaka laughed as he slapped Tsuki in the back harshly

At first, even Tsuki was questioning himself like wait, is he even sure you’re dating? cause this girl in the music video was NOT the same girl he was on the phone with last night

 If you had asked Tsuki 10 seconds ago if he would ever reveal to the guys he was dating someone, he would say helllll no but now that he knew about this, he didn’t care about keeping the relationship a secret especially if they were thirsting over his girl

He had all the proof in the world that he was dating you but took the salty approach to prove it to them. He pulled out his phone and shot you a text even though you were in class

Tsuki: Come to the gym right now

Y/N: is everything ok?

Tsuki: just come quickly

You left your class to “use the restroom” and practically rushed to the gym thinking that something was wrong with your boyfriend. You slid into the gym, causing the boys to look up from the tablet and you ignored their shocked faces

“ Where’s Tsukishima?” 

The boys slowly did a doubletake from the music video back to you to make sure they were seeing correctly and even though you were a bit embarrassed to hear your song playing in the background, you were just worried about Tsuki

Tsuki walked out to you from behind the guys and you rushed over to him

“ Babe, what’s wrong?” 

“ BABE?!” 

The boys were shocked and the second years practically FAINTED in your presence 

Tsuki pulled the tablet from Noya’s cold, dead hands and showed you the screen,” Care to explain this?” 

“ I- Um, it’s my music video…”

“Well are you famous or something?” 

“ I wouldn’t say famous…more like upcoming artist?” 

And then the next week you’re a nominee for the VMA’s asjfkghdk

 honestly out of Oikawa and Bokuto, he probably handles it the best on the outside, he doesn’t make too big of a deal out of your fame but on the inside he’s can’t even believe it

He doesn’t go around shouting to the world that he’s dating the Y/N L/N but he has his own ways of supporting you. He’ll listen to your songs whenever he’s walking in the hallway or doing homework at home and he’ll catch himself liking tweets that are about you as long as they’re positive

He’s def the type to argue with people online if they say mean comments and will report/block them before you can even see it 

IDC how much he tries to hide it, he is deadass ur biggest fan. Tsuki will tease you about how nervous you act during interviews/award shows but he will ALWAYS go with you to ease your nerves even if he had prior plans

If you ever write a song for him, he gets SO RED AND EMBARRASSED so pls do that 

Will def call you baka for doing so but deep down, he’ll fall in love with you even more cause you’re able to put into words how he feels about you 

I don’t think he’ll be too comfortable with you posting about him but he knows he can’t do anything about people taking photos of the two of you out together in public

Tsuki would never be rude to your fans though like if you were recognized during a date, he wouldn’t make a fit and will take photos of you and your fans to speed the process along

He HATES HATES HATES the paparazzi’s like it’s one thing for fans to come up to you when yall are in public but he gets mad when the paparazzi harasses you with questions/pictures/comments

“ Y/N! Turn around and give a smile!” 

“ Not right now, I’m sorry.”

“ Oh come on, don’t be shy! Just show the camera a little skin!”

“ How about you shut the hell up before I smack that camera out of your face.”

Head empty, no thoughts, just thinking about Mad!tsuki

It’s a big adjustment for Tsukishima that he has a girlfriend in the entertainment sphere but he knows how hard you’ve worked for it and he would never tell you to stop living your dream 

Sometimes he’ll feel insecure because you’re so successful and he doesn’t want to hold you back but since he can’t imagine being without you, he just pushes those thoughts away and enjoys every minute with you 

[hello-nichya-here]

Ok, so what in your opinion is the WORST mistake that the showrunners for Game of Thrones made in terms of content, either it's addition or redaction?

WARNING: Looooooong post ahead

Themes are for eighth-grade book reports

This absurd quote by one of the showrunners explains why exactly the show fell appart. They wanted to make a story... without themes. Anyone with a minimally functioning brain will tell that this is impossible because every story, even the simplest and least complicated story there ever, has a theme. Even a nihilistic story has a theme "Nothing matters". Every. Story. Has. A. Theme.

But Game Of Thrones didn't, at least not after the writers ran out of books to adapt and did their own thing. Everything every character did was no longer to build a narrative, but to essentially act as click-bait. The focus was to make people keep watching, not on making any content that was worth watching.

The first four seasons had it's problems, just like the books had it's problems, but Martin's writting was so brilliant that it managed to stay good even while being handled by absolute clowns. The moment season four ended was the moment the show stopped being an adaptation and became it's own thing - and like I explained before, said thing wasn't a story.

Shock

Both the show and the books had MANY shocking, heart-breaking and downright horrifying scenes: Daenerys being raped by Drogo; Bran being pushed out the window after accidentally seeing the queen fucking her brother; the whole deal with Craster and his daughters; the Dotrakhi destroying Mirri's village and her revenge against them and Daenerys; Ned's death; Melisandre giving birth to a shadow baby that killed Renly; The Red Wedding; Jeoffrey's death; Tyrion killing his father; Theon being tortured by Ramsay...

The difference is there were REASONS behind the shocking scenes Martin created. Even when you look at things like rape and torture scenes and threats of rape/torture - Martin used those scenes to remind us that the world he created is an EXTREMELY dangerous and downright vile place, and that the characters are never truly safe, and that there are WAY worse things than just being killed.

Dumb & Dumber on the other hand, gaves us scenes like an evil, former man of the night's watch evily making an evil speech to his fellow evil men, evily drinking whine from a human skull while nameless women were being raped in the background - but little does he know that Jon Snow, the hero, is about to wreck his shit. It takes something that could realistically happen (and that did happen in the books) and takes it up to eleven because the writers think shock is the same as quality and that the audience is SO STUPID that they need to practically make the actor jump out of the TV, grab us by the shoulders and scream "I'M EVIL! I'M THE BIG BAD! ROOT FOR THE HERO TO KILL ME!"

Pretty much every bad guy became a parody of Jeoffrey, ironically enough because the writers took Jeoffrey too seriously. He was a cruel, sadistic character, who had WAY too much power - but he was also a spoiled baby whose reply to Tyrion bitch-slapping him wasn't a threat, but "I'M TELLING MOM!" Jeoffrey worked because he was only allowed to do his thing whenever smarter, more competent characters like Tyrion and Tywin where not around, meaning his actions, while inhumane, never reached the point of no longer being believable.

The horrible things that happened to the characters no longer felt "right". For instance, Sansa had just been taken to the Eerie by Little Finger, who has a weird complex in which he sees her both as the daughter he never had with Catelyn AND as a replacement for Catelyn, and she was starting to truly be a player instead of a pawn... and then the writers realized "Oh shit, we should have not cut the Jeyne Pool/Fake Arya' plot, that was important" and forced it on Sansa, making Little Finger hand her on a silver plater to Ramsay and turning her into a victim AGAIN, this time to a man that dramatically fights his enemies without a shirt own, practically saying "come at me bro"

Compare this to Ned's beheading, or Catelyn and Rob being betrayed and killed by the Freys. These moments were shocking and downright depressing - but they were earned. The writting was on the wall for anyone to see: Ned was at the mercy of Jeoffrey, and the Starks had given the Freys, who are notoriously disloyal, a reason to resent them. These twists felt completely natural, were the only logical way for the situation the characters were in to play out, AND they had consequences to plot instead of just making the audience gasp and then being forgotten about.

Plot armor

It's kind of ironic and almost tragic that the show that became famous for killing characters later became the worst type of high-stakes series, putting the characters in situations they could NOT survive, not even if a goddamn miracle happened, and having them live anyway. What's even worse is that it happened repeatedly. If I had to see Jon Snow almost die and then survive anyway one more fucking time I was going to lose my mind.

There's no bigger proof that there were just no consequences for the "main" characters anymore than watching the second, third, and fourth episodes of season either. The first sets up that this battle against the night king and his army of undead is likely going to kill the majority of them, if they're lucky... and then in the third we see the plot armor in all of it's "glory", and then in the forth we find out that the Dotrakhi, who had ALL been killed, actually still have half the numbers they had the night before, somehow. Even red-shirts weren't dying anymore.

DORNE

This disaster needed it's own session because HOLY SHIT, it's a miracle/tragedy that everyone didn't go "Fuck it, I'm never watching another episode of this stupid show."

The Dorne plot in the books isn't perfect, but what the show did to it was so fucking bad that I'm pretty sure the writers didn't even read the Dorne chapters in the books, they just looked at a wiki, wrote down the names of a few characters and then did their own shitty thing.

In the books, Doran Martel is a clever, dangerous man, who pretends to be harmless so people will understimate him and step right into his trap. In the show, Doran Martel... died. That's it. I can't remember anything else that happened to him. Add him to the list of "Brilliant characters that became stupid due to shitty writing", I'm sure Tyrion, Varys and Little Finger will love making him company.

The sand-snakes, one of the main driving force of that plot, were all distinct characters in the books, with their personalities, goals, methods and motivations - basically they were created by a writer who knew what he is was doing. In the show they were all the same "character" who could be perfectly described by that horrible, cringy, PAINFUL line one of them (I can't even remember which) said to Bron "You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy" (Seriously, if that actress ever kills the show-runners as revenge for having to say that, she'll be 100% justifyed in doing so)

And we cannot forget the driving force behind that unwatchable shit show: Ellaria Sand. In the books, the death of Oberyn made her believe that revenge only leads to more blood-shed. In the show, his death enraged to the point of wanting to avenge him and his family, and she did this... by killing his family. If that doesn't explain how insane and stupid this plot-line was, I don't know what will.

Hype = Character assassination

Many shows are based around the conflict between the bad guys and the good guys. Game Of Thrones is not one of these shows. Or at least it wasn't. As they ran out of ideas, the writers started mutilating every single character until they could be label as "Good" or "Bad", regardless of what felt right to the story and to the point that there was nothing left of said characters. Stannis's actor, Stephen Dillane, straight up said that the only thing he got from being on the show was money and that his character's motivations and decisions were nonsense - ironically enough, that kind of brutal honesty means that the writers had THE perfect actor play Stannis, and wasted his fucking time.

Here's a list of the characters that fell victims to this horrible fate: Catelyn Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Jon Snow, Melisandre, Stannis, Jorah, Daenerys (bonus points for being mutilated into being both a generic, shitty "hero" and a generic, shitty "villain") Greyworm, Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark...

Pretty much the only character who became more complex in the show than she was in the books was Cersei. While her book self was never just a "Generic Evil Queen", the show version of her was far more sympathetic, which made the stories she was part of interesting. Too bad the writers ran out of ideas of what to do with her after season six and just left her by the window drinking whine until Dany showed up to kill her. Which brings us to...

Why is this happening?

Cersei was seen as a threat in the last two seasons based on nothing but the things she HAD done. Her story just ended the very second season six did, but since she was still alive despite being one of the bad guys she had to die... I guess. She (and by extention Jaime) joined the list of characters that had nothing to do, but were still around: Davos, Theon, Yara, Melisandre, Bron, Sam, Gendry, Bran (the last one being SO unnecessary that he was cut from season five and no one noticed)

To combat that issue, the writers gave characters "motivations" that made no sense. For exemple: Sandor Clegane. His only reason to be in the show was so he could kill his brother. The problem was that Gregor was already dead. He was a walking corpse. There was nothing left of the abusive brother Sandor once knew, meaning he had no reason to fight him, and that, to keep Sandor around, the writers should have come up something new (like the redemption that book fans have been waiting for, and that has a lot of backing evidence). You might as well have had HIM be the one to randomly fly out of nowhere and kill the night king despite having no connection to him.

And since we're talking about the night king... Arya was the one to kill him. Why? Because the writers ruined Jaime's redemption arc, meaning that the only fitting ending for him was to die with Cersei, and so Arya could not kill Cersei despite wanting to, having the ability to do, AND having heard a prophecy that said she'd "Shutting brown eyes, blue eyes, and green eyes forever", the last one being the only one she had not done AND applying to Cersei. But Dumb & Dumber admitted they had no plan for this, so now that they were at the last season, they needed to do something with it, and they retconned it to mean Arya would kill the night king...

But Arya killing him meant Jon had nothing to do, so Dany had to go mad so he could kill her. To "hint" at that, they ignored all the not at all subtle foreshadowing the previous season had of Dany and Jon having a kid, and they even showed her getting jealous that he was technically the true heir... even though that made no sense since they were going to rule together anyway, and even after Dany went full "Mad Queen" she ASKED HIM TO RULE WITH HER. But anyways, he kills her and becomes king...

Except he doesn't actually become king and him being a secret Targaryen has no effect in the plot, because Bran needed to become king so there'd be a reason for him to be alive, because his magical powers turned into a plot-device. A plot-device that wasn't used at any goddamn point. Seriously, the only thing as bad as Bran becoming king was Euron's existence - dude was THE most useless villain ever AND the worst Jeoffrey parody.

A darker story (literally)

I could not end this rant without bitching about this. What is the point of spending an ungodly amount of money on sets, costumes, make-up, special effects... and then using such poor lighting that no one can see what the fucking is going on?

Anyway, this disaster of a series was so absurd it should be used as an exemple of what NOT to do.

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

stars in the sk(eyes)

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Janus, Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Analogical, background Intrualiceit Warnings: Language, food, like 1 line that’s maybe suggestive but also said half-jokingly Word count: 5592

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Logan has always loved stars. Virgil has always loved music. Maybe they can put those together with a little help from some friends.

Notes: Day 2 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read.  Patton, Janus, and Remus are all nonbinary folks who use he/they pronouns and masculine terms in this universe (but in the flashback scene, Janus is only using they/them); Roman, Logan, and Virgil are all men who use he/him. (I know absolutely nothing about music or concerts or anything, so please don't roast me too hard for any inaccuracies, lol.)

They were only opening the concert; the real attraction was a band from out of town with a midsize following, making a stop on their tour. Not that Virgil was complaining to have landed this gig. It would be the biggest performance his band—the band he, Janus, and the twins had formed a few years ago—had given, by a lot. And that was exciting. Sure, Virgil had absolutely spent hours stressing over how big it was, but he knew how to manage his anxiety, especially when it came to performances, and the anxiety didn’t stop the excitement.

“You’re going to do wonderfully,” Logan had told him earlier that day as he’d been getting dressed, passing his fingerless leather gloves and then holding his jacket for him to slide into. He’d spoken it with a simple, unassuming confidence, as if it were a given fact. It had been more comforting than Virgil thought Logan knew.

With the memory of his husband’s words carefully nestled against his heart, and the jacket Logan had helped him paint rainbow stripes on sitting on his shoulders, Virgil found it easier to let go of the anxiety. Some lingering tension remained as he paced backstage, running through lyrics in his head and triple checking that everyone knew the schedule, but it wasn’t as bad as usual. Most of it, if he was being honest with himself, wasn’t even about the performance—it was about the surprise the band had put together, the surprise Virgil had had to bite his tongue a couple of times to keep himself from thoughtlessly mentioning it to Logan, even though the surprise had been almost entirely his own idea and the others were just helping. But he’d successfully kept the secret, and now Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and there would be no more chances to spoil it.

But Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and the final round of jitters was setting in. And when Logan wasn’t there, Virgil’s jitters took the form of pestering the hell out of everyone in the room, to make sure everything was perfect.

He checked all the instruments, giving Janus’s keyboard a once-over without touching because he knew better by this point. Remus’s drumset was already on the stage—he was drumming with his fingers on the end of the fallout table in the corner—so there was nothing to do about that. Roman was actively tuning his guitar, so Virgil left that alone too and instead checked his bass, just in case it had gotten out of tune in the last thirty seconds.

All of the instruments were fine, great, even, and Remus and Roman were undeniably being productive; Janus, who’d been on their phone in the corner, had stepped out for just a moment, probably to get a drink of water or something.

Things were in order. Which was good. Great, even. But it gave Virgil nothing to do with his restless energy.

“Are we ready?” he asked, jiggling his leg and tracing the pattern of his fishnet tights through one of the large rips in his jeans.

Roman looked up. “Yes,” he said shortly. Roman’s nerves tended to take the form of a very short temper, which didn’t mix well with Virgil’s perfectionism.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, running a hand through his dark green curls and straightening his denim jacket.

“We all know the order things go in?” Virgil followed up after a minute of tense silence.

“Mmhm,” Remus said easily. Remus, and Remus alone, somehow always managed to remain at ease and unbothered no matter what. Virgil didn’t know how they did it.

Virgil took stock of everyone’s outfits. He himself was wearing fishnet leggings that went all the way up past his waist. Over them he had ripped black skinny jean, and a black crop top splattered with white paint. On top of that, he wore his black denim jacket, which matched the ones the other three were wearing. Virgil’s had the rainbow pride flag painted on the front, all down the lapel area; the rest of the jacket was covered in patches. He checked his makeup, examining the black eyeshadow and lipstick in his phone’s camera; it looked fine. Perfect, even.

Roman was the neatest of the group, made to stand out as the lead singer. He wore the same high-heeled doc martens as the other three, but in white where theirs were all black. He had a tight white longsleeve shirt made of a shimmery material and a matching pair of white pants, and the black jacket contrasting nicely against it all. Roman’s jacket had the aromantic pride flag where Virgil had the rainbow, and the rest of his jacket was painted with red roses all at the ends of long, intricate, thorny stems. His eyeliner was sharp enough to cut, and his curly hair was piled up atop a black headband wrapped around his forehead like a crown.

Janus still wasn’t back, but he’d been on the neater end too, to counter Virgil and especially Remus’s scruffiness. Their outfit was sleek and all black save for a thin white belt around their waist. A black hat with a broad round brim framed their face like a dark halo. His jacket had nonbinary and pan stripes on the front, and thin white squiggly lines running up and down like warped pinstripes everywhere else. (Virgil knew where on the jacket one line ended in a tiny snake head, and where one trailed off into a tail, but you wouldn’t notice unless you knew to look.) They were wearing black lipstick to match Virgil, and winged eyeliner to match Roman, and contour that emphasized the sharpness of his cheekbones; definitely the heaviest makeup of the group.

Remus, sitting in the corner and making noises to themself, was a sharp contrast to his boyfriend Janus’s sleek elegance. His black jeans, splattered with white paint to match Virgil’s crop top, were ripped almost to shreds, open nearly entirely from mid-thigh down to his ankles, with only a few clinging strands of fabric keeping them anywhere in the realm of being pants. The tee they wore—black again, with his own name painted on it in large white letters—was also ripped full of holes, these ones much more deliberate; he’d slashed it carefully with an exacto knife, kneeling on the ground and focusing with their tongue stuck out slightly, until it was exactly how he wanted it and you could catch glimpses of their top surgery scars when they moved. His makeup consisted of dramatic green and black eyeshadow, and his jacket had the trans and polyamorous flags on it—he and Janus, who had nearly identical collections of pride flags between them, had split two and two which color schemes they wanted to use. The rest of Remus’s jacket consisted of a few jagged holes and some incredibly detailed paintings of green tentacles.

The instruments were fine. The costumes were fine. The makeup was fine. What else did that leave for Virgil to fret over as the final minutes ticked away?

“How about the blocking?” Virgil said. “We can go over it again if anyone—”

“I promise we know, Virge,” Roman snapped.

“Come on, kiddo, you know he’s just trying to help!” piped up Patton, Janus and Remus’s other boyfriend, who was suddenly somehow present and sitting in Janus’s lap, his pastel outfit completely out of place amidst the varying edgy styles everyone else in the room was sporting.

“How did you get back here?” Roman and Virgil demanded in unison. Virgil hadn’t even noticed Janus was back, let alone that he’d brought Patton, who was supposed to be in the audience with Logan until the performance was over.

“Oops,” Janus said, not sounding even a tiny bit remorseful as they played with Patton’s dark curls.

“Did you leave Logan alone?” Virgil demanded of Patton, hands on his hips.

“Only for a minute! He’s getting snacks, anyway,” Patton said, wrapping his arms around Janus’s neck. “We both know where our seats are, he’ll be fine.”

“You already have a partner backstage, stop being greedy,” Roman scolded Janus. “Patton, you know we need to focus right now, can you please not distract my horny bandmates until after the show?”

“You sound like Virgil, with all that worrywarting,” Remus commented, snickering.

“Take that back this instant!” Roman demanded as Virgil gave Remus double birds.

Remus only guffawed, looking incredibly amused.

“Seriously, though, uh, Patton, with all the love in my heart: get out,” Virgil said.

Patton wrinkled his nose, but pressed a warm smack of a kiss to Janus’s cheek and hopped to his feet.

“Do I get a kiss?” Remus asked, reaching his arms out hopefully.

“Makeup—” Roman began warningly.

“I haven’t got any on my mouth!” Remus said triumphantly. “Suck it, Jan.”

Janus smiled wryly, fingers rising to but not quite touching their black lipstick that Patton had avoided so carefully. “The prices I pay for beauty.”

Patton giggled, crossing to Remus, clasping both his hands, and leaning down to kiss him sweetly.

“Great, you’re very very cute together but now is not the time, Patton get out and stop distracting your boyfriends,” Roman said, shooing Patton towards the door.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “High strung much?”

“Not all of us possess your—your stupid coolheadedness powers, Remus!” Roman snapped.

Patton paused in the doorway and pointed at Roman, getting out his dad voice. “Hey. Be nice.” The finger moved to Virgil. “Be nice.” His eyes flicked to Remus, then Janus, and his voice shifted to a different tone, half flirty and half joking. “You two be good boys.”

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I said to stop being horny!” Roman shrieked, chasing a giggling Patton out of the room and down the hall. He returned moments later, Patton-less and fixing at his hair to make sure it wasn’t too messy. “We had better not have any more alloromantic bullshit from any of you until after the show is over!” he announced. “Okay?” He didn’t sound quite as annoyed as before.

“Homophobia,” Remus accused teasingly.

But instead of snapping back, Roman giggled. “Oh, shut up.”

The twins began joking back and forth, Janus making the occasional amused interjection.  Evidently Patton’s intrusion into the room, although technically unhelpful, had done wonders to break the tension, and Virgil reminded himself to thank Patton later.

Virgil’s phone buzzed with a text from Logan.

Logan: Patton found me, don’t worry. Logan: How are you doing?

Virgil: hahahahahaaaa i don’t wanna think abt it

Logan began typing, then the little bubble went away; a second later, the phone began to ring, Logan’s caller ID plain to see.

“Hi, babe,” Virgil greeted.

“Hello, dear. Would you like to walk me through your plan for the performance, to reassure yourself?”

Virgil let out a small sigh of relief. “Yes, please.”

“I am listening,” Logan assured him.

Virgil took a deep breath and launched into a detailed itinerary, knowing that Logan didn’t mind if he got a little too technical in his terminology because Logan was listening for Virgil’s sake.

“And then that’s about it,” Virgil wound down, carefully leaving off the final item from his explanation. It wouldn’t do to spoil the surprise now. “Oh, looks like we’re getting ready now, gotta go.”

“I love you,” Logan said quickly. “You’re going to do a wonderful job.”

Virgil let out a short laugh. “Thanks, L. Love you too.” He hung up, set his phone down on the table, and picked up his bass.

“You ready?” Roman asked, nudging Virgil with his elbow, as the group finally headed towards the stage.

Virgil sucked in a long breath. “Yeah. I think so. Are you?”

“Oh, you know it!” Roman grinned, a spring in his step. He paused after a second and glanced back to Virgil. “Sorry for being so wound up earlier.”

“It happens.” Virgil shrugged. “Right back at you.”

Roman nodded and put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Hey. He’s going to love it. Just wait and see.”

Virgil looked away, half smiling. “I sure hope so.”

“He will, I know it!” Roman insisted as they climbed the steps onto the stage and emerged into what could practically have been the eye of a hurricane, for all the noise and light that surrounded the stage.

The sky above was fully dark; bright lights everywhere in the area contrasted against it. There was a decent crowd. The venue seemed almost full, as a matter of fact. The observation added a thrill of adrenaline to compliment the goosebumps from the chilly breeze across Virgil’s bare midriff.

Roman stepped forward and spread his arms wide right as the spotlights came up. “Hey, folks, thank you for being with us here tonight!” he said, his smile gleaming in the bright lights and his voice booming in the speakers. “We have some great hits lined up for you tonight! Let’s get it started, huh?”

Virgil waited a few seconds for the cheer of the crowd to peak. Janus began the melody on the keyboard; Virgil came in with his bass at exactly the same second Roman began to sing, and Remus picked up the beat on the drums on cue.

Virgil was quickly able to get lost in the music, all his focus on playing and providing backup vocals, leaving him with no more brain space for his anxiety. This was his favorite thing about music: its ability to keep him in the moment.

They played three songs. Two covers that always went over really well, and one song that the twins had written together about family that always left Roman just a little teary. Normally that would be their closing song.

But tonight was a little bit different.

Roman took a step back, nodding at Virgil; the pair of them traded places onstage, putting Virgil front and center.

“So,” Virgil said, the mic on his cheek picking up his words, “we were thinking we’d let you all be the first to hear our new song. Uh, I wrote this one. And normally Roman does our singing, because—well, you’ve heard his voice. But this song is kind of special. I wrote it for my husband. So. We thought I’d perform it tonight.”

As Janus began playing the melody, Virgil searched the front row of the crowd, squinting against the lights, until he found Logan, sitting next to Patton and gazing up at Virgil with shining eyes. “Lo, I love you so much, babe. More than every star you’ve ever shown me.” He took a deep breath and began to sing.

***

10 years earlier

Unknown Number: Hello. This is Janus. Logan’s roommate

Virgil: how’d u get this number?

Janus: I broke into Logan’s phone after you started dating and saved you to my contacts just in case

[read 3:43pm}

[3:46pm]

Virgil: i Virgil: wtf dude

Janus: Your boyfriend has been moping in his room all day, can you please come fix it? Janus: Roman is starting to mope too for no good reason, but he’s doing it in the living room and at this point it is starting to affect my quality of life

Virgil: yk i literally could not care less abt that part u asshole <3 Virgil: i’ll be over in 15 Virgil: is he ok?

Janus: He won’t talk to me, I don’t know what happened

Virgil: i’ll be over in 10

It was normally a 12-minute walk from the dorm Virgil was an RA in to Logan’s apartment just off campus, but Virgil could walk fast when he was anxious or alone, and in this case he was both. Even taking the time to grab a jacket, he still made it to the building in nine minutes flat.

Janus let Virgil into the apartment almost the second he knocked, relief plain to see on their face.

“You see?” Janus said over their shoulder in a scolding tone. “I had to resort to outside measures to deal with your bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” Roman whined from where he was slumped on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through Netflix on the TV.

“Oh? And what’s this?” Janus demanded, hands on their hips. They dramatically pushed the button to open the microwave door, revealing a limp burrito wrapped in a damp paper towel.

“Lunch,” Roman mumbled defensively.

“You hate microwave food, and it’s four in the afternoon!” Janus snapped.

“I am in a creative slump, Jan! Have some sympathy!”

“No! Get your whiny ass off the couch and stop ruining my afternoon!”

Virgil took a deep breath and pointedly walked in between the pair of them down the hall towards Logan’s room. Roman and Janus’s still-bickering voices faded into the background.

“Hey.” Virgil knocked on the door, which had a piece of printer paper taped to it with Logan’s name written on it in blue sharpie and a couple of stars, both scribbles and stickers, scattered around it. He waited, and when there was no reply, he added, “Are you okay, Lo?”

“I’m fine,” Logan said, in a voice that had obviously been crying.

“Can I come in?” Virgil asked.

“Okay.”

Virgil pushed open the door and stepped into the dim room, closing it behind him. The blinds were closed, and Logan was curled up under a mound of blankets.

“Hey, baby,” Virgil murmured, kicking off his shoes and climbing to sit on the bed beside Logan and stroke his hair. “What’s wrong?”

Logan made a muffled noise of misery into the mattress.

“What?” Virgil said after a moment.

Logan rolled over. “Teacher didn’t like my essay.”

Virgil chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. “Okay, I promise I’m not making fun of you, but you do know that that is possibly the most stereotypically you thing you have ever said to me, right?”

Logan let out a little huff that was not quite a laugh. “I guess.” He was silent for a moment as Virgil continued to stroke his hair. “And I know it’s stupid. I still got a B+ and my overall grade in the class is fine and I know I’m a good writer and everything. But it sucks. I was really proud of it.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Virgil said, choosing to ignore the squirm in his gut that always happened when grades came up. It was so easy to compare or to worry about others comparing and then to worry about others getting upset over comparisons and—he dragged himself back to the present, forcibly setting the issue aside. “You’re allowed to feel upset,” he told Logan. “About anything that upsets you. Even if you wouldn’t choose it.”

Logan didn’t respond, but after a minute his hand snaked out from under the covers and grasped Virgil’s.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Virgil asked, struck with the idea.

“Huh?”

“A walk. Get out of your head for a little bit and hang out. We can talk if you want, or just be together.”

Roman’s voice grew particularly loud outside, and Virgil picked out a teary, petulant, “I hate you!”

“Plus it’ll get you away from that energy,” he added wryly.

Logan drew in a breath and sat up. “Alright. Let’s do it.” He pulled out a denim jacket while Virgil put his shoes back on and retied the laces. They made their way out of the apartment, hand in hand.

Roman was on his feet now, releasing an angry tirade at Janus, hands clenched into fists and sounding on the verge of crying, the TV remote cast on the floor beside him. Janus was sitting on the kitchen counter with arms crossed and an intimidating glare on their face.

“Hey!” Virgil snapped, and Roman cut off abruptly. “Eat some food,” Virgil told him on a hunch. Sure, Roman could be a little immature at times, but this was on a whole different level, and a lack of food seemed like the simplest culprit.

Virgil looked over at Janus, to make it clear that they weren’t off the hook either. “We’re going out. You two better make up before we get back. Clear?”

“You can’t tell us what to do—” Roman began stubbornly.

“Janus literally called me in to fix all your problems, so yeah. I can. Also open your windows, it’s gloomy as fuck in here.” Virgil opened the door and held it for Logan, tossing one last glare over his shoulder at Roman, who looked dumbstruck, and Janus, who avoided eye contact.

Logan was quiet as the two of them walked down the stairs and exited the apartment building, hands in his pockets (one still clasping Virgil’s) and eyes on the toes of his slip-on shoes.

“Wanna talk?” Virgil asked.

Logan tilted his head to the side for a moment, his thinking face slipping over his features, and then shook his head.

Virgil nodded. “Okay.” He fished in his pocket for his earbuds and plugged them in. “Let me know if that changes, okay?” He received a small nod and turned on his go-to playlist—a 12-and-a-half-hour-long composition of all his favorite emo songs that he could loop without having to put any thought in.

The two of them wandered through the streets, hand in hand, music blaring in Virgil’s ears and Logan’s fingers soft and warm against his. They made their way towards downtown; their university was in a small city, and it was pretty walkable.

As they walked, weaving around and across different blocks, occasionally stopping to peek into particularly interesting shop windows, the tension in Logan’s shoulders slowly began to relax and his gaze migrated from the toes of his shoes upwards to take in the surrounding scenery. Virgil felt himself relaxing in turn. The subdued, almost sullen look on Logan’s face was beginning to shift back to his typical bright-eyed curiosity, which meant that while maybe not all was right with the world, a whole lot was right with the world.

As the sky began to darken, Logan’s pace quickened with sudden purpose—but he didn’t lead Virgil in the direction of the apartment. Instead, he headed in almost the exact opposite direction. Virgil was lost for a moment as to where they were going, until the park in the center of downtown came into view. Ah. That explained it. He was kind of glad; he didn’t feel ready for the quiet time they were spending together to be over.

A scent caught his attention as they entered the park, and he tugged gently at Logan’s arm, nodding towards the mediterranean food truck. A small smile answered him, and a nod, and the pair of them made their way over. They both ordered gyros—Virgil chicken, and Logan, who was trying out vegetarian food, falafel.

Fifteen minutes later, seated side by side on a park bench and finishing the last of their sandwiches, Logan cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

Virgil bumped his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. “Of course, babe.”

“I am feeling… better,” Logan said cautiously, as if he were testing out the words in his mouth to see if they felt true.

Virgil nodded. “Better is good.”

Logan nodded, eyes moving to the sky, which was now almost fully dark except for a streak of orange sunset leftover on the horizon. The stars were out, at least the brightest ones that could be seen even past the floodlights placed every so often across the park.

“You like space, and shit, right?” Virgil said, scooting closer to Logan and dragging his arm to wrap around Virgil as he rested his head on Logan’s shoulder. It was a bit of a rhetorical question, since he knew Logan had an astronomy minor and was the vice president of the astronomy club and had gone on no less than three eager rambles about space in the last month alone, but one could always do with a conversation opener.

Logan blinked and looked down at him. “I do.” You know this, his tone said, a little puzzled at the question.

“What star is that?” Virgil pointed at a particularly bright one, although he wasn’t paying nearly as much attention to the star as he was to Logan’s face.

Sure enough, Logan brightened, his eyes more interesting than any star. “Oh! That’s not a star at all—it’s actually Mercury!”

“Really?” Virgil asked, grinning and scooting closer.

Logan wrapped his arm a little more tightly around Virgil’s shoulders with an answering smile. “Yes, and it’s actually very fascinating…” And just like that, he was off, words spilling out of his mouth at a breakneck pace, gesturing eagerly with his free hand to emphasize his points.

Virgil listened, doing his best to follow along and asking a few questions whenever Logan started to wind down, but mostly just happy to watch his boyfriend’s lips as he excitedly infodumped, and his eyes, too, alight with delight, the frustration of the disappointing grade all but forgotten as he held Virgil and told him stories about the night sky.

It was nearly ten at night by the time they made their way back to Logan’s apartment, chatting back and forth in quiet voices and giggling. Logan broke off as he opened the door and got a look inside; he glanced over his shoulder at Virgil and put a finger to his lips.

Virgil hushed and followed him in, then saw what the need for quiet was: Janus and Roman were asleep on the sofa, Roman sprawled on his stomach on top of Janus with his limbs everywhere and his face buried in Janus’s chest, Janus with their arms wrapped around him and a throw pillow propping their head up and a worn copy of Crime and Punishment flopped over from where it had clearly been propped up on Roman’s back.

“Precious,” Virgil commented softly as Logan picked up the book, tucked a bookmark off the coffee table into it, and set it down with the tender care he seemed to reserve exclusively for books and Virgil.

Logan smiled. “They are, rather.” He looked down at his roommates. “Sometimes I wonder why I picked the two most dramatic people I know to live with.”

“Sometimes like this afternoon?” Virgil said with a chuckle.

Logan snorted. “Maybe. But then they do things like this, and I remember why I like them.”

Virgil noticed something on the tiny kitchen table. “Or this?” He pointed.

Logan came over to examine what Virgil had found. “Oh,” he breathed, a smile spreading across his face.

A plate of cookies sat on the table, together with a hastily handmade card.

“Sorry :( ❤️” it read in large, expressive cursive, and beneath it in smaller, neater handwriting, “I actually didn’t do anything wrong, but these are for you and I did the dishes, also you’re welcome for the date night.”

Logan laughed quietly, taking a cookie and offering the plate to Virgil, who accepted one cookie—they looked to be snickerdoodles. “Yes. Things exactly like this,” he said. He took a bite of the cookie and raised his eyebrows. “Not bad.”

Virgil grinned and leaned over to kiss him. “Not bad at all,” he agreed, pulling away.

“I literally gave you your own cookie,” Logan whispered, clearly trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, but it tastes better this way.” Virgil winked, mainly for Logan’s reaction—he pressed a hand to his mouth, stifling an amused smile that was still visible in his eyes. “I should go,” Virgil added, glancing at the time. It was Sunday tomorrow, so he didn’t need to worry about how late he was up, but he disliked walking home at night.

Logan nodded, taking another cookie and pressing it into his hand. “Text me when you get home?”

“I always do,” Virgil said, accepting the cookie and a goodnight kiss that still tasted just faintly of cinnamon and sugar.

And he did just that; he always felt a little awkward simply texting “I made it home,” or the like, so he usually tried to come up with interesting questions to send to Logan instead. Tonight, it was:

Virgil: hey Virgil: if u could pick one Thing u always wanted to do Virgil: and get a guarantee that u’d get a chance to do that thing no matter what Virgil: what would u pick?

Logan: Fascinating question! I would like the opportunity to name a star. Logan: I don’t imagine it will ever happen in real life, but I’ve always thought it would be… cool, for lack of a better word.

Virgil: ghfdkjghksdhj i will never be over ur love for space Virgil: u have a Brand and u stick to it

Logan: Well, a brand is important in life. :-) Logan: What about you? What would you pick?

Virgil: i think it’d be neat to be in a band Virgil: idk Virgil: like i don’t wanna be super famous or anything but like Virgil: being in a band would be neat Virgil: yk?

***

Ten years later, Virgil sang the last lines of his song looking right at his husband. “And I don’t even need to look to the skies/Because all of the stars are in your eyes.”

The noise around him didn’t fade away like in the movies; to the contrary, the cheering was so loud it was almost hard to focus. But Logan’s face was absolutely alight—Virgil couldn’t be sure at this distance, but he thought Logan might even be tearing up—and he was looking at Virgil like he was his whole world. Even with the bright lights and overwhelming sounds all around, it was easy to focus on Logan in the midst of it all, Logan pressing a hand to his mouth but smiling too wide for anything to hide it, Logan leaning into the side-hug that Patton—oh, and there was Patton, right beside him—was offering, but never taking his eyes off Virgil. Logan looked so happy, even though Virgil knew concerts weren’t really his favorite type of event, and Virgil was hit right in the chest with a renewed realization that Logan was Virgil’s whole world and damn, Virgil wanted to make sure everyone knew it.

But their time onstage was up, and the next few minutes were a bustle of packing equipment away and cleaning up the space they’d been allotted backstage, and it all went by in a bit of a blur, helped along by the remnants of Virgil’s performance mindset and slight overstimulation—though that was getting better now that he was offstage.

Virgil took a quick break, when the bulk of the urgent work was done, to just stand in the empty restroom and breathe for a moment, the noise of the other band who were now onstage thudding in the background so quietly he could hardly hear it. When he’d fully composed himself, feeling much calmer, he took a deep breath and headed back out.

On his way out, he ran into Roman, pushing a dolly with a box on it. “Oh, good, there you are,” he greeted Virgil. “Can you—oh, for crying out loud,” he broke off, looking ahead.

Following his gaze, Virgil snickered as he saw Remus, leaning against the wall with their hands clasped behind his head, grinning down at Patton, who was leaned forward, bracketing Remus with his arms, looking up at him and speaking, although Virgil couldn’t hear him from here.

“We still have work to do,” Roman said under his breath, but the exasperated gaze he leveled at the pair was altogether far too fond to have much real bite.

Virgil’s mind was on other matters; if Patton was here, that meant—

“Lolo!” Patton’s voice called brightly; he’d seen Roman and Virgil and stepped back from Remus, waving happily at the pair of them. “Virgil’s here!”

At the sound of Patton’s voice, Janus emerged from the room, a little further down the hall, that had served as the headquarters for the band. He bent to give the tiny man a kiss, then turned to Remus for another kiss.

Logan popped his head out just a moment behind Janus. “Virgil?” He brightened when he saw Virgil’s face, and stepped fully out into the hall. He hadn’t changed from his work outfit, still wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up, a tie, and a pair of jeans, and a smile that he looked like he couldn’t wipe off his face.

He was still the handsomest man Virgil had ever seen.

Virgil looked to Roman. “Permission to get back on my alloromantic bullshit, captain?” he asked teasingly.

Roman rolled his eyes and swatted Virgil’s shoulder. “Go be cute,” he said benignly.

Virgil took off down the hallway to Logan, not quite running; Logan took a few steps to meet him, and Virgil caught him in a hug so eager he actually lifted the taller man off his feet for just a second.

Logan, half-laughing with surprise, grasped Virgil’s shoulders for balance as he regained his feet. “You wrote me a song?”

“Did you like it?” Virgil asked, holding him tightly.

“Virgil, I—” Logan seized Virgil’s face in his hands and kissed him.

Virgil wrapped his arms more firmly around his husband, kissing him back exuberantly and swaying slightly back and forth.

“It’s perfect,” Logan told him, breaking away only just far enough to speak. “You’re perfect.”

Virgil grinned, reaching up to run his fingers through Logan’s neat hair. “Careful, you’ll spoil me.”

“I don’t think I could ever do that,” Logan told him seriously. “It’s not spoiling if you deserve it.”

And really, what was Virgil supposed to do about that except kiss his husband again?

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Marvel What If’s Women Problem

Welcome back to the feminist rant!

I really didn’t intend to spend three weeks in a row writing about the Marvel animated series What If…? But I wanted to see this through.

Last week we talked about this show’s abundant use of the “fridged woman” trope. However, a show doesn’t need to kill its female characters in order to fail them.

Remember that time I made up a feminist movie test? I call it the “Want Test.” You can read the full explanation here, but here’s the summary:

This test requires that a film (or, in this case, an episode of a TV show) has at least one named female character. After watching the show, ask, “Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?” Then, score the movie based on the answer to this question.

If the answer is “Yes, what the named female character wants matters to the plot,” then give the movie a checkmark!”

If the answer is “Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters,” then the movie gets a check-plus. If these characters help each other get what they want, the movie gets a check-double-plus!

If the answer is “Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal,” then the movie gets a check-minus. The woman may matter to the plot, but her importance is centered on her relationship to a male character and how much he matters to the plot. Often movies with a check-minus involve a male protagonist actively trying to stop a female character from getting what she wants; while she has an impact on the world around her, the movie isn’t rooting for the woman.

If the answer is “No, what she wants doesn’t matter,” then the movie fails the test. Give it a minus.

Okay, now let’s talk about Marvel What If. Once again, there are spoilers for the first seven episodes of this show below the cut, and some discussion of the plot points in the movies these episodes are based on.

When I compare the first seven episodes of What If to the Want Test, they each barely scrape their way to a check-minus (though after my rant last week, I’m tempted to edit my test so that a show that fridges a female character automatically fails). In summary, it does not matter what most of the named female characters want. Each episode has a single woman whose wants do affect the plot, but what she wants is always some kind of obstacle to a male character’s goal. Even when the women of What If survive the episode, the male characters’ feelings are the primary engine of the show.

As I neared the end of Episode Six, “What If… Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?” I said to myself, “Well, at least Pepper and Shuri aren’t dead.” But then, in the last minute of the episode, Shuri and Pepper meet and state their intent to take down Killmonger. And I said to myself, “Okay, so why didn’t we get THAT episode?”

Sure, it’s cool to see two smart girls teaming up, but they don’t get to do anything! This episode repeatedly puts Pepper and Shuri down. Every time they express suspicion of Killmonger, someone contradicts them. What they want does not matter. They are obstacles to the men, and they are easily pushed aside, and so all they can do is stand in the background and watch while the boys run around and play war games.

If your named female characters only matter in the last scene of the show, then they don’t really matter. This episode wasn’t about the women at all. It was about the men killing each other and making each other sad.

*

I really don’t want to say much about the seventh episode, “What If… Thor Were an Only Child?”

What I will say is, “Why, why, WHY is Dr. Jane Foster more concerned about hurting the hot guy’s feelings than she is about how the hot guy is about to cause the end of the world?”

And I will also say, “Why does Captain Marvel need to be nice to Thor at the end of the episode after he spent the entire episode being a jackass to her?”

And I will end this section of the blog post by saying, “Frigga deserves so much better than any man in her family has ever given her.”

*

The second episode of this show, “What If… T’Challa Became a Star-Lord?” might be my favorite episode. Mainly because it’s the only one I genuinely liked while I was watching it. It was fun, and I was happy to hear Chadwick Boseman’s voice one more time. Overall, it’s a lovely tribute to both the actor and his character.

But, for me, liking this episode required ignoring a big problem: Nebula and Thanos’s relationship.

We don’t know exactly when in this timeline T’Challa met Thanos and convinced him to give up on the “murder half the universe” plan. But we do know that even before Thanos collected the Infinity Stones, he was roaming the universe slaughtering millions. We know he committed genocide against Gamora’s people the day he “adopted” her, and it’s safe to assume he did the same to Nebula’s. We know that he raised Gamora and Nebula to fight each other, and every time Nebula lost a fight, he replaced a part of her body with cybernetics, constantly torturing her.

What If never tells us that that Thanos did not abuse his daughters. It never tells us that he did not slaughter millions, including his daughters’ birth families. But it does tell us that Thanos is Nebula’s father. And he wouldn’t be her father if he hadn’t been roaming the universe killing people.

In this episode, we see an adult Nebula who seems to think her dad is annoying, but any feelings she might have about how genuinely terrible he is – feelings she was freely willing to admit in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies – go completely unmentioned.

Thanos and Nebula’s relationship is played for laughs, like they just need to get over their past and hug it out. That bothers me a lot. It’s like the show is saying that Nebula’s pain doesn’t matter. What matters is that Thanos is sad she doesn’t want to hang out with him.

I should also point out that in Avengers: Infinity War, Gamora gets fridged. Her feelings are unimportant to the plot; her stated desire to die before she can be used as a part of Thanos’s plot is mocked and discarded. When she is murdered, the moment of her death is all about how it would hurt Thanos to kill her. Gamora’s death also serves as motivation for Peter Quill to sabotage the other heroes’ efforts to stop Thanos.

Gamora is nowhere to be seen in this episode of What If. The women that Thanos abused really don’t matter here at all.

*

I’ve been putting off talking about this show’s pilot episode, “What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?” This episode was… You know, it was fun, in a very similar way to how the Star Lord T’Challa episode was fun. I can’t lie and say I didn’t like seeing super buff Peggy Carter beat the crap out of Nazis. That was a lot of fun.

But the thing I couldn’t stop thinking while watching was, “This isn’t Peggy’s story. It’s Steve’s!”

Peggy Carter may have gotten the super serum in this reality, but Steve Rogers is still the main driving force of the plot. Peggy goes to Germany to save Steve’s best friend. She works with Steve’s allies, the Howling Commandoes, instead of finding her own. Steve’s issues and emotions are central to everything Peggy does; she may say in dialogue that she wants to end the war, but what we see is that Steve is her motivation. In fact, he’s everyone’s motivation – in the scene where Peggy, Bucky, Howard, and the Howling Commandoes decide to go take down Red Skull, they all go around the table and say that they’re doing it “for Steve.” Not because ending the war is the right thing to do, not because they care about the millions of people murdered and tortured by the Nazis – but because they care about Steve.

When I first heard about this show, I thought that Steve was going to die, and that would be why Captain Carter would exist. The interesting/ironic thing here is that the episode pokes at the idea of fridging Steve, but it doesn’t quite have the guts to go through with it. Everyone thinks that Steve died on the train, but then they find him in Red Skull’s castle, and he’s totally fine! Killing off Captain America would have been an interesting, powerful new direction to take the story. But this episode doesn’t seem interested in taking new directions. It seems more interested in showing how things would stay the same even if Steve didn’t get the serum, even if Peggy switched careers from secret agent to superhero, even if Bucky never became the Winter Soldier, even if Red Skull decided to open a portal to tentacle hell. Things just stay the same.

And I don’t get the point of presenting us with a show where there are “endless possibilities” if things are just going to stay the same. If Peggy Carter will still be a side character in Steve Roger’s story. If Hank Pym’s grief still matters more than Janet and Hope Van Dyne’s lives. If Thanos will still never be held accountable for abusing Gamora and Nebula. If Doctor Strange is still an arrogant jackass. If the only realities we see are ones where men get to act and feel, and women get to be plot devices.

The truth is that the Watcher just isn’t interested in showing us realities where women live and thrive in their own right. For all its emphasis on how different decisions can cause dramatic changes to reality, the creators of What If have no real investment in making different decisions in how they portray female characters. It’s just more of the same.

I’m done thinking about this show. Let’s talk about something else next week, okay?

Be good to yourself, be kind to each other, and you’ll hear from me again soon!

[inkweaver22-blr]

Welcome to chapter nine! This one was meant to just be another filler with one of my own AU’s, but Tang just had to be introspective and have a moment of character growth. Hope you enjoy!

EDIT: This chapter has been edited to include some new info dropped on the same day I originally posted this! More info in the End Notes!

AO3 Link

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Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Nine: Rocks and Roles

Tang knows how to act. That doesn't mean he likes to play every part.

----------

Tang liked to think of himself as a decent actor, at least back in the original timeline. He had been part of the theater class in high school and telling stories required a bit of a dramatic flair if you wanted to keep your audience entertained. Convincing Pigsy he was a popular food critic hadn’t been too hard back then.

The many cycles he had been through had certainly helped polish his skill into a genuine talent. That one time where he and everyone else had been professional actors playing the roles of themselves from the original timeline as part of a show had especially allowed him to hone himself to a greater degree than before.

Being stuck jumping through time had practically made it a necessity.

It wasn’t that Tang enjoyed what was essentially lying to his family. It was more for their protection. He had almost broken the “No Interference” rule a few times when he hadn’t properly reacted to events that, while shocking or upsetting to his family, were simply part of his routine by now. He couldn’t allow the repetitive nature of the cycles to make him slip up and potentially cause more harm by being confronted by his lack of surprise or fear.

So he acted. He gasped at all the right moments or screamed in fear when in danger. Every laugh, every sigh of exasperation, every freak out over something related to Wukong was perfectly performed so as to not to raise suspicion. So long as the proper reaction occurred in response to the correct effect, everything went smoothly.

It wasn’t too hard or taxing as he never needed to fake his enjoyment of being around his family. Luckily for him, he also didn’t have to act exactly as he had been in the original timeline, or he may have gone insane from the monotony of it.

The cycles where his background was entirely rewritten were blessings in disguise, really. They were new. Fresh experiences for Tang to have and not have to work as hard to realistically react to.

He treated them like a method acting exercise. The new memories as part of Tang’s new backstory was the motivation for the ‘character’ he was playing. He didn’t have to fully adhere to them, but they certainly helped him play the role provided to him for the cycle.

He still disliked playing the villain however.

It happened a few times before already. The most notable had been when Zhu Bajie was in the role of Sun Wukong as MK’s mentor.

Tang shuddered at the memory of that timeline.

Saying that version of him had been unhinged was severely downplaying the many atrocities he had performed on both himself and others. Committing suicide to erase his name from the books of the dead, killing demons to absorb their lifeforce, and cutting open his own chest to manually insert the gem holding that lifeforce into himself for power were simply the tamer actions he had committed.

He supposed that heartbreak, jealousy, and internalized insecurities could drive even the most benign people to madness so long as they properly justified their actions to themselves.

It had been the first time in quite a while that Tang seriously considered intentionally breaking the interference rule and just running off to live in solitude for the entire cycle. Getting “redeemed” had been one of the most difficult things he had tried to pull off.

Tang dodged a swipe from the Monkey King’s staff as he was brought back into the present.

He was the villain once again this cycle. Luckily though, he was much less of a threat to his family this time around.

He was replacing Red Son as the demon child of Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan.

Tang, Son of the Earth.

He wasn’t the only one who was switched around. Pigsy, who went by Bajie, was a human who had become Wukong’s successor. MK was a boar demon who ran the noodle shop. Red Son was a scientist and engineer who frequented the restaurant.

It was almost an opposite reflection of the cycle he had just been musing about.

“You’ll have to do better than that, noodle boy,” Tang taunted as he swung his arms to pull chunks of stone from the ground, his hands and the Earth he controlled both glowing with a golden-yellow light.

He supposed that it made sense for him to have some sort of elemental power if he was this timeline’s Red Son. Earth fit as he had certainly mellowed out over the course of the cycles, becoming more focused and self assured. His original self would have most certainly been associated with air with how flighty he had been.

Tang made sure to keep his full concentration as he attacked Bajie. Earth may be the element of the sturdy, but it had the potential to be much more volatile than fire. It was easy to let loose and cause a catastrophic earthquake. It took precision to control smaller pieces of rock without causing too much collateral damage.

Bajie batted away the earthen projectiles with ease and rushed into an opening Tang had intentionally left. He had to do his best to not rely on the fighting skills he had from previous cycles and use only what his memories knew when playing a villain. Otherwise he’d easily beat the fledgling hero and that certainly would be treated as interfering.

Tang winced as the staff connected with his ribs and sent him flying. He coughed as he pulled himself up, holding his injured side as he glared at the now smirking Bajie.

“How’s that for better!”

“This isn’t over,” Tang cried out dramatically. He activated his powers, this time summoning a whirlwind of sand to teleport away.

Another scene as the villain successfully played out.

----------

Tang sat in his workshop, calculating the specific size of a rune circle he would need.

It seemed that similarly to how Red Son was a genius that incorporated magic into science, this version of Tang was one who incorporated science into magic. Not a big distinction, but important in how the process worked. It still took an impressive amount of knowledge on both subjects to work them together in the end.

Setting his pen down to take a break, Tang looked around as he stretched. He caught his reflection in a nearby piece of metal machinery he had been fiddling with and examined himself once again.

He didn’t look too different from his human self, his face remaining the same. His hair was now a dark brown with yellow highlights and his glasses were much smaller. The biggest difference were the bull horns sticking out of the side of his head.

He didn’t mind them too much, but having to give up any pull over shirt for button downs was a hassle.

Looking at his horns lead the demon scholar to think about his parents in this timeline.

Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan.

Tang frowned as he recalled the less than comforting welcome he had received after returning from his defeat. The disapproving dismissal from his father and scathing taunts from his mother had been demoralizing. It would have hurt more if he hadn't had the years of time jumping behind him.

If this was how Red Son was commonly treated, it was no wonder he worked hard in everything he did just to gain a scrap of approval and praise.

And yet he knew they loved each other. The moments he noticed didn’t happen often, but he could tell that his parents held some affection for him, and he obviously cared for them. He just didn’t understand why they acted so cruelly to one another.

Was it a demon thing? Were they afraid that by showing their love they were showing weakness?

That was certainly possible, but Tang disagreed with the sentiment. He had been through enough cycles to see that love made one stronger. It wasn’t the weakness their enemies thought it was.

Tang was already planning on becoming redeemed in this cycle. It hurt to think his parents would disown him, but what if that didn’t have to happen?

He thought about that one specific cycle and how he had become so twisted. All of it could have been avoided had his past self simply let go of his long held beliefs and went with Bajie.

Now he just had to make two powerful demons do just that.

Tang was an amazing actor.

He also had many years of watching the people around him and knew most of them almost better than they knew themselves.

His current parents were no exception.

He could see the potential for a loving and healthy family, buried just beneath the surface.

It would take some work, but he was sure he could unearth it and polish that potential until it shined.

With renewed energy, Tang pulled out a blank scroll and began planning.

He had a family to save.

----------

Welcome to what I’m calling the Noodle Swap AU! It is named that way because the only change is that the pairs that make up the two most popular noodle ships (SpicyNoodles and FreeNoodles) swap places!

Shout out to @winterpower98 for their amazing Actor AU and Dad Swap AU mentioned in this chapter! Go check them out!

Yes, yes, I know I’ve basically made Tang here Terra from Teen Titans. Most people would give him Air as an element, but 1) we already have an Air user in Princess Iron Fan and 2) Tang has changed quite a bit since the start of this Time Hopping experience, as he states himself in the chapter.

I do genuinely believe there’s a loving family hidden somewhere underneath all the cruelty the DBK crew throw at each other. It’s already been hinted that Red Son will get a redemption arc in the show, but I want one for his parents too.

That’s all for now! See you in the next chapter!

:IMPORTANT EDIT!!!!:

There's been a few paragraphs changed and added to include the new canon lore for Tang in the Dad Swap AU! Go check out @kitkat1003's absolutely ASTOUNDING work, When the Tide Pulls Away and the Earth Sharpens to Steel! It is INCREDIBLE and if it was finished, you'd absolutely know there would be an entire chapter dedicated to it here.

[k-popmakesmyday]

A/n: the way this started as a blurb and then just made it’s way to 2k 🥲It’s gonna be a oneshot now but i’ll make into a fic later 

💌 • 6:04 pm

The time was around 6pm when you decided that you had given up on true love once and for all, sighing as you launched your packed bag (an action that would most conveniently slip from your memory the next time you gracefully overslept and needed to throw yourself out the door with that same bag) off to a corner of your apartment, as if throwing away your emotions all together. You dared not to glance at the empty corner of your bedroom where your blankets usually lay neatly stacked ready for top-tier cuddling whenever the occasion should arise. So you took to propelling your body face-first onto your bed, your own constant, warm safe-haven - ready to console you whenever you couldn’t face the world. 

And there you lay, with furrowed eyebrows as you fought with the urge to express your sorrow by helplessly sobbing while clutching you pillow for dear-life. ‘It’s nothing, stop being so dramatic, y/n’, you mumbled over and over as your voice creeped ever higher with each lie you forced out. 

It wasn’t nothing. 

You flat-out rejected the salty tracks that raced down your cheeks, cursing as you felt overwhelming betrayal while they revealed your secret to no one in particular, however your inner turmoil raged at the sign of you admitting the reality of the past hour or so. Curling into a small ball, you tried to offer yourself comfort in any way you could - yet truthfully you knew it was hopeless as it made to be no match for his comfort, the way he’d wrap you up in his arms and move his hands gently over your skin as he caught your tears in his warm hands, as if the simple action could allow him to take the pain away. 

But no, you weren’t going to think about him. 

Meanwhile, in a realm of comfort not far from your own, Felix sat crosslegged on the smooth, laminate floor of his shared dorm. ‘WHOO’-ing in victory as his blonde companion who was barely a day older than him pelted the undeserving controller away from his body in disgust. It’s brief descent making a rather ugly skidding noise as it collided with the entertainment unit, the boy huffed out his squirrel-like cheeks as he mumbled something about how the intense-sounding playlist the younger boy appointed as background was distracting him.

Felix only turned to look at his friend with a smug grin on his face, “I believe that makes 5-1 to Felix Lee!”, he exclaimed, “Need to step up your game, mate.”, the dusty-blonde smirked as he leant back against the base on the leather couch.

“Whatever, it’s exhausting playing with you.” Jisung scowled at his younger friend as he heaved his exasperated body off the ground and reached his arms up towards the ceiling to regain feeling in his many limbs that had taken to falling asleep during the gaming tournament. “What time is it, anyways? Feels like a day since I saw the sun”, the older boy forced out through a yawn.

The boy in question could only offer incoherent ‘I’s and ‘uh’s in return as he stumbled to his feet, hastily shrugging a jacket over his shoulders. Seungmin, who had conveniently just come out of the shower and happened to stumble across the scene, exchanged a bewildered look with Jisung before turning back to Felix. The two observed their brother with amazement as he struggled to shove his foot into his navy-blue trainer, the action resembling a fish out of water as he desperately hopped around on one foot. If Felix’s friends weren’t so concerned at the present moment they’d be recording his peculiar antics, ready to never let him forget. But rather they were left with puzzled looks as the front door slammed, endless, unanswered questions lingering in the air. 

Felix trusted knocking to be useless in a situation with a severity such as this one, he hastily struggled to wade through the endless puzzle of his keys before he jammed the spare key you had given him into the lock, slowing his pace slightly as he entered into your home. He knew as soon as he stood in the living room how badly he had messed up - your sadness lingered in the air protruding from your bedroom, taking blows to his own chest with each step as he found himself quite breathless. 

The chocolate-eyed boy first found your abandoned overnight bag, taking a deep breath before spilling its contents. Felix’s regret glared up at him in the shape of your blankets, pyjamas and packed lunches you had prepared for earlier in the day. He quickly tore his gaze away from the endearing note you had stuck to his sandwiches, not bearing to withstand another reason to feel impossibly worse. 

Felix tip-toed into your room as if he were afraid to wake you, yet he knew he had to talk to you - and, god, was he in for it. The boys throat tightened at the sight of you, as if it were punishing him for being so careless. He could only stare as you lay curled up in a state of uncomfortable sleep, clinging to the pillow he usually slept on. He slipped off his shoes and jacket, desperately prolonging waking you up and seeing the heartbroken look grace your soft features, he slowly knelt down and brushed your hair behind your ear, the action revealing the sheer amount of crying you had partaken in before his arrival. 

Unfortunately for Felix, you had not nearly slipped into a deep enough sleep to gain some proper rest, so the action caused you to stir and have your eyes flutter open, those who had puffed up full of emotion, their betrayal presenting itself front and centre with the harshest shade of red. The remorseful boy watched as your face convulsed into one of distaste as you quickly sat up and looked away from him. 

“I don’t want to talk to you, get out.” you croaked, voice thick with sleep and tears as you lied to the boy in front of you.

“Baby I am so.. so sorry-”, he reached out a hand to hold yours, eyes desperately searching your own when you yanked your hand away from him.

“You should’ve called,” you breathed as you fixed your gaze on the minuscule cracks in your ceiling, as if your tears would become distracted by them as you spoke not only to the boy in front of you, but to yourself. “If you’re busy, o-or if you don’t want to go out with me, just tell me”

You didn’t stop your ranting at the boys “baby, no i-”, unknowingly cutting him off as you let out the thoughts and insecurities that had been poisoning your mind all day. “- just don’t make plans and let me get all excited and stupid and then.. leave me to wait at the park by myself, with things for a picnic date and a sleepover.. looking like an idiot.” 

The boy in turn once again reached out to console you, realising he could spend his entire life searching and never find the right words to possibly comfort you in that moment - but as you weakly pushed your heart away from your body, Felix felt his own shatter into a million pieces at your confession. 

“It’s not stupid, y/n, this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have called, i should’ve been there, like I promised. I would never leave you alone on purpose, i just forgot because, well. i don’t even know why. I know you don’t want to hear what I have to say right now but i promise,” he paused to look you straight in the eye, the seriousness being unusual in your easygoing relationship. “I promise i will make it up to you.” he sighed at the lack of response, yet he knew he deserved nothing less, and moved to his feet. “I know you need space so.. i’ll leave you alone, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything at all, i love you-”

The rambling Australian’s words were caught in his throat when he felt a warmth encase his wrist, he looked down at your hand and back up to meet your eyes, sporting a puzzled gaze as you sniffled. 

“Stay. Just because I can’t sleep without you.” 

Your words earned a small smile from the latter boy as he inwardly gushed over your adorable manner, he wasted no time slipping under the covers and embracing you in his arms in a silent apology, although he knew it would be one of many. Not only did he curse himself for being so forgetful, but he also felt his heart shatter at your assumption of him missing your one-year anniversary celebration purposefully. He shut his eyes and screamed at his imagination not to picture you sat on the picnic blanket all by yourself, suppressing tears as you avoided the invading gazes of passerby’s (who could easily have guessed what happened - your asshole of a boyfriend stood you up, how were they to know it was unknowingly?)

Felix had lost count of the amount of times he had attempted to drift off, never fully falling into sleep as the guilt stood in the back of his mind, nagging and mocking him constantly. The sun was finally starting to seep through the curtains as the boy decided that his torturous night’s ‘sleep’ should come to an end as he carefully removed his arms from around you and got up. Grabbing one of his hoodies you’d stowed away in your wardrobe as he made his way out to the kitchen, not forgetting to re-tuck you in before he left. 

It was some hours later when you finally announced your consciousness to the world, you dragged yourself into your ensuite to find your eyes impossibly filled to the brim with dry tears, stabbing at your fragile eyes as you began to wash up for the day. You wandered into the kitchen to be met with a sweet, inviting aroma, one that reminded you of... your birthday? Letting out a tiny gasp, you silently sat down at the breakfast bar as you watched your flour-covered boyfriend finishing piping icing on his last cupcake, before he turned around and screamed at the sight of you.

“AH!”, he scrambled to cover your eyes, “you weren’t supposed to see these yet!” His lips forming an adorable pout as he threw his arm by his side in a child-like manner. “I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed except.. it’s cupcakes”

You smiled as your heart melted at the thought, pressing a soft peck to his cheek, whispering “i love it” loud enough so that only he could hear. Despite the two of you being alone in your cozy apartment, you outright rejected the thought of anyone else getting in on the words meant for only each other.

He sighed in defeat as he presented you with a plate of slightly messy cupcakes adorned with vanilla buttercream swirling magnificently on top of each one. They may not have been the best dressed baked goods you’d ever seen, but there was no doubt in your mind that every little cake was made with the utmost care and love, and that’s all you could ever ask for. 

“I know it’s not much but... i just wanted to say how sorry I am for yesterday. This, obviously, doesn’t make up for it but if you’re feeling up to it.. we could go on our date today? I’m just so sorry baby, this isn’t enough, but it’s a start, right?” he looked up at you with hopeful, doe eyes as you nodded and pulled him down to sit next to you. 

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” the exhausted boy murmured to you, making you reply with a reassuring kiss on his temple. 

“Yeah, Lix, we’re gonna be just fine.”

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @sassy-sara @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane @odi-et-amo85 @watermelonlover-123 @xiaomailab

Warning for panic attack near the end of the scene (after Lucas reads the messages). 

~^~

Tuesday, 18:47

Songs: nilu - Are You With Me; Michael Schulte - Falling Apart

“No, no, wait, why is it doing that?” Jens whines from the screen, delicately brushing his thumb under Lucas’s eye to wipe away the dark smudge. “Why the fuck does eyeliner drip?”

“It’s liquid, man, what do you expect?”

Lucas skips ahead as Jens groans in the background and the camera moves to Sander. He plays it again when Moyo does a close up of his own face, the eyeliner now perfectly neat, and making the blue of his eyes stark. The on-screen version of him laughs at Moyo’s dramatic sounds of awe, and then there’s a close up of Jens. His tongue sticks out at the corner of his lips, brow just slightly furrowed, intensely concentrated as he paints on a light layer of lipstick. His eyes flick to the camera, and he falters just slightly, lips twitching. He manages to hold onto his focus for another few seconds before his lips crack in a smile and then into laughter, and he quickly draws his hand away from Lucas.

“Give me peace, asshole,” he says, leaving the camera shaking as he shoves Moyo back and another laugh rings out.

Robbe has sent him the completed vlog, that they haven’t posted yet. Lucas is currently watching it for the fourth time, with the volume raised to be heard over the bartering of rain against his window. By now he’s able to fast-forward to the specific shots of Jens that he likes most. He has Instagram open in the background, where his chat with Jens still remains quiet.

He rubs his hands over his face as Moyo zooms in on Jens puckering his lips, initially indicating for Lucas to do the same and ending up blowing a kiss to the camera. Talking to him yesterday hadn’t helped as Lucas had hoped it would. The few moments of contact had helped ease some of his worry, but the gaping hole in the chest that Jens usually takes up has only grown. He had hoped he would get the chance to convince Jens to come home to him, and then the connection cut out and Lucas had to hang up on Robbe before falling into a panicked state of despair.

Sander curses from the screen and then rapidly apologises as Robbe moans a complaint. “Isn’t this almost over?”

Lucas wonders the same thing as the shot cuts back to Jens and shows him leaning back with hands raised, a grin on his face as he announces he’s done. Lucas pauses on the image, chest tightening and jaw clenching.

There’s a knock on his bedroom door and he quickly shuts his laptop before his father peeks his head in. “Can I come in for a second?”

Lucas nods, setting his laptop aside as Hugo walks in and hovers by the bed as he holds an object out to Lucas.

His phone.

Lucas examines the spotless screen with wide eyes before shooting his eyes up to his father’s, which are crinkled at the corners with his smile. He waggles the object at Lucas, and Lucas takes it carefully, running his fingers around the edges. He holds in the power button and after a few seconds, it lights up.

“The guy in the shop charged it a little so he could make sure it’s working, but you’ll probably need to charge it yourself now,” Hugo says. “It look alright?”

It’s still in his old, worn, blue case, and when it finally comes to life, his favourite image of him and Kes appears on the lock-screen. He hovers his thumb over it as it shakes in his hand. Slowly, he nods. “Yeah, it’s perfect. I didn’t even know you’d taken it.”

“Well, you need your phone. Even I can’t contact you without it. Consider it an additional late birthday present, huh? Better than those old albums I got you.”

Lucas shakes his head. “The albums are good. And the art supplies are expensive, I know that. You didn’t have to…”

“Shush,” Hugo waves a hand at him. “I don’t expect you to pay for things like that yourself. No matter how many jokes I make about you being an adult now.”

Lucas smiles slightly, though his eyes are misty as he turns his phone over on his palm. “Thank you.”

His father smiles back at him, then seems to hesitate again. “I also wanted to talk to you about this weekend. I organised a trip for the youth center. A few days away, where they can all hang out and do stuff together, can really help them out at this time of year. It just means you’ll be left here on your own.”

This would usually come as a relief. Now it makes anxiety churn in Lucas’s chest, and he has to quickly bite down on his lip. Otherwise he’ll do something ridiculous, like beg his father to stay. He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine for a couple of days on his own. “So, you’ll be going on Friday?”

“Yeah. The girls are taking them on the bus and I’ll drive down to meet them in the evening.”

“Where are you going?”

“It’s some kind of adventure center. One of the kids themselves suggested it. We’re staying at a motel nearby.”

Lucas nods slowly. “Then you’ll be back on Sunday?”

“Yeah.” Hugo seems only mildly confused by the questioning, at Lucas’s unusual show of interest. “Should be back in the afternoon. So you’ll be alright? You can call me now if you need me.”

Lucas hums.

“If you want to, you can invite one of your friends over to keep you company. Maybe Jens.”

He says it cheerfully, proud of himself for remembering the name Lucas had let slip weeks ago. He seems oblivious to the pain it causes Lucas, so Lucas tries for a smile. “Yeah, maybe.”

Hugo sets a hand on his shoulder and gives a squeeze. “Okay. Give your mom a call too when you can, alright? She keeps bugging me about you.”

“Have you been talking to her?”

“Ah, now, Luc, I still talk to your mother. Is that a new hoodie?”

Lucas blinks and looks down at himself, not understanding, until he sees the red. He’d forgotten he was even wearing Jens’s hoodie. It doesn’t smell like him anymore, aside from the faintest trace if Lucas moves in just the right way. He simply shakes his head as he looks back up at his dad.

Hugo purses his lips, nodding slightly as he shrugs. “Suits you. Alright, everything else okay with you?”

It takes a moment for Lucas to gain enough composure to smile and nod, and his father squeezes his shoulder once more before leaving him alone again.

Lucas takes a moment to breathe, then moves to his desk to find his charger, phone still clutched in his hand. He finds it hidden under a stack of papers and moves back to his bed, plugging the charger into the wall. He has to sit close to the edge so the lead will reach, but he manages, and soon he’s facing a flood of missed notifications.

Jens is right at the top.

It’s only after taking another long moment to breathe that Lucas is able to open the messages. There are a whole string from the weekend he’d left, easily two dozen, and guilt churns in his stomach once more as he reads through Jens’s concern. There’s even a selfie of him and Moyo from that Saturday, with both of them pouting at the camera, eyes slightly red. Obviously high. Lucas’s chest tightens further. He scrolls further down, through Jens’s more insistent questioning, where the frustration begins to truly slip in.

Then he makes it to the end, where he has a message from Sunday morning, sent just minutes before he had messaged Jens from Kes’s phone.

I’m getting really freaked out and I didn’t even think that was something that happens to me, but I really miss you Luc and I’m worried. please just message me. I love you

He reads it, then reads it again, over and over until the words blur and a single mantra runs through his mind.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Lucas internalises the words, letting them fill up his chest until he can’t breathe.

Jens loves him. Lucas had no idea. Jens loves him and Lucas had left him. Jens loves him and Lucas had hurt him. Jens loves him and he’s being punished for it. Jens loves him and he isn’t here.

Lucas loves Jens, and he can’t breathe.

Air finally comes out in gasps, then heaves. The world around him has blurred. He’s being flung on the floor, dropped like a ragdoll, frozen in place, and then the slap. Over and over in an endless reel. Hands are shoving him, two pairs at once. His favourite brown eyes are unfamiliar, cold and distant, unreachable. He’s running away and running away and running away.

He’s staying and making it worse.

Jens has done nothing but love him, and Lucas has done nothing but hurt him. It’s his fault. His fault that Jens is in this position in the first place. His fault that Jens felt the need to try so hard and endanger himself. His fault that Jens is hurt. His fault that Jens is gone. His fault that Jens doesn’t know.

Lucas loves him, and Jens doesn’t know, and he can’t breathe.

He tucks his head between his knees and tries his usual method. He has to drop his phone to tangle his hands in his hair as he counts in for four, holds for four, breathes out for four. Except he can’t manage it. His breaths are short stutters, insufficient, and his ring catches in his curls and he sobs.

When he feels like he is going to suffocate, he drags himself to his feet. He stops once he gets there, having to stave off the urge to curl down into himself. His hands grapple at air, curled into claws at his sides as choked sounds continue to spill from his throat. It takes him three tries to repeatedly force himself into enough motion to open his door. From there he’s overcome with urgency, and he speeds down the hall, into the kitchen where his father is sat with a newspaper at the table.

“Dad,” he croaks.

Hugo looks up, brows raised. His expression falls instantly into concern as he stands from the chair and rounds the table. “Lucas? Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?”

Lucas lets out another sob. “I can’t—“

He cuts himself off as his knees give out. His father catches him as he sinks towards the floor, drawing him into his arms and providing a sturdy support. Lucas relinquishes all his weight and lets the man hold him up, kneeling on the floor alongside him.

“Hey, Luc. It’s okay, you’re okay,” he soothes, gently rocking him back and forth, hand petting through his hair in a gesture Lucas hasn’t experienced since he was a child half his current size.

“Can you help?” Lucas pleads. “Please, can you help, can you help me?” He feels his father nod, feels a kiss pressed to the crown of his head, and he lets out a shaky breath.

Hugo holds him and guides him through it, regulating his own breaths until Lucas’s heartbeat feels just manageable. “I’ve got you, buddy. I’ll do whatever you need. Do you hear me? I’ve got you. You’re okay.”