#i love the misunderstandings though
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Every time Cale uses an ancient power and then gets confused when people react in worry I laugh and want to shake him because Cale, CALE YOU NEVER EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE VOMITING BLOOD.
And here's the thing, vomitting blood, regardles of colour is a sign of serious internal problems, and you know what signs and symptoms you should definitely watch out for afterwards?
Dizziness, especially after standing.
Rapid, shallow breathing.
Or other signs of shock.
So everyone around him makes the very valid assumption the Cale using an ancient power = severe internal bleeding and then Cale goes and usually displays some symptoms of shock (I.E shaky limbs, dizziness, weakness in limbs) and just never explains that he's actually fine. Instead, he tries to get up and keep moving unless he's already fainted.
OF COURSE THEY'RE FREAKING OUT CALE! They think you need serious medical attention and you keep refusing to see a healer or a doctor! (Yes we know you don't want them figuring out how many powers you have and that they can't do anything anyways, but your friends don't!)
Since we don't see what the others are doing every time Cale falls into a coma as a response, I imagine that they're all frantic, trying to figure out what went wrong, how injured he is and how to get him the proper medical care. And then Cale wakes up and is just confused as to why they made it such a big deal.
Like Cale, please, for at least the first few times, they probably thought you were DYING.
#trash of the counts family#i love the misunderstandings though#they make me laugh every time and i love the drama#but at the same time i feel bad for his friends and the kids#theyre so worried!!!#tcf cale#cale henituse#ancient powers#tcf#this is why alberu is always calling him a crazy bastard#stop worrying your kids cale!#choi han#this is why i never complain about wveryone always reacting in shock when cale vomits blood#they have very good reason to worry!!#sure eventually they get used to it and they know he'll be somewhat okay#and then he goes and gets himself put into a week long coma
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if heâd been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldnât have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didnât want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes ârecklessâ#heâs comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that heâll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesnât care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I donât know if heâd have gone back if Laios hadnât#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldnât have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille wouldâve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I donât think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falinâs friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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another thing i love about laios:
HE IS GENUINELY A REALLY GOOD LEADER!!
despite struggling with the finer points of socializing, he has all the qualities necessary to be a good leader.
(i refer to the manga a lot in this post as someone who's read most of the manga at this point, but i avoided any specific spoilers)
He cares about all his teammates' well-being
He is extremely level-headed in a crisis
He is excellent at strategizing (within his areas of expertise; in the manga someone eventually points out he's pretty much useless at fighting other humans, lol)
If a plan fails, he is immediately thinking up a fallback plan - he doesn't give up
He is acutely aware of his teammates' strength and weaknesses, and accurately assigns them tasks suited to them in times of need.
He is perhaps not innately a 'leader-type'; he's fine deferring to the rest of the party most of the time, even when he doesn't understand why. (Just going along with the blindfold in the sauna for example, lol.) He was ready to head back into the dungeon by himself before Chilchuck and Marcille volunteered to come along. He doesn't think of himself as particularly smart or special. And when the party meets others (such as the old gnome couple) they don't tend to assume Laios is the leader.
But he has an unwavering vision (during the story it's rescuing Falin), and, you see it again and again: when they enter difficult combat, or any time things fall apart and everyone is panicking, Laios steps up and takes charge. His calmness helps everyone else calm down, and they generally follow his lead. They intuitively look to him in a crisis, to the point they're shocked the few times he doesn't have any ideas.
It kind of ties into another thought I have; he is repeatedly seen as "having no interest in other people" by other characters, but this isn't really true! He struggles to understand people and he is aware that they struggle to understand him. This leads to him mostly focusing on the things he IS good at understanding, such as monsters. But he genuinely makes a big effort to understand the people he cares about. In the manga, there are times you see him think deeply about his friends' struggles and motivations. For much of the early arcs, he understands Chilchuck better than Marcille or Senshi do. He and Marcille don't get each other that well at the start of the story, but by the end they have a very strong reciprocal friendship.
I could go on about it honestly but this post is already very long. Tl;dr laios one of the characters of all time to me and i think people should appreciate his leadership skills more!!
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios#long post#meta#aphelion.txt#autism things#I see him as somewhat extroverted tbh#But he rarely takes the initiative to reach out to people#Experience has taught him that it usually isn't worth the effort#But when someone does seem to be receptive to his overtures of friendship#Ie Shuro (even though there were sadly a lot of misunderstandings there)#He gets extremely excited and wants to spend a lot of time with them#He's very very relatable to me as an autistic person#I stopped in the middle of reading some of the later manga chapters to write this lol#Bc i got too full of love for him#there are also times you see him willing to sacrifice himself for his companions with little to no deliberation. not only falin#Gahhhh i love him sm
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Gossiping about Sigiswald backstage with Rozemyne and Ferdinand!
I love that Rozemyne's thought bubble is an actual quote from the book.
*dying laughing-
Yes. You're definitely playing into his 'evil, evil hands'
*strangled laughter-
And the end scene of this book? (spoilers if you haven't read it, but if you know what this is from then you probably have-)
I loved it so much!
*intense fangirling in my little corner over here-
Especially seeing it from Lutz' pov where Rozemyne is just blushing all over the place?!
*more intense fangirling/manic grinning-
It was just so- so-
Yeah. It was cool. I liked it a lot.
I didn't end up doing the shading on this purely because I just don't have as much time as I used to, and I'm probably gonna be pretty busy for the next week with midterm tests prep- *sigh...
I did want to do the colouring though, since I absolutely love the fact that Ferdinand's outfit matches Rozemyne's hair and that Rozemyne's outfit matches Ferdinand's hair-
*internal screaming-
I love this entire series. It is kind of sad that it's pretty much finished, but that's what fanfiction and fanart is for, amiright?
(glances over at the various au ideas and animatics that I still have in the 'in progress/drafts' pile-)
Anyway. I'm definitely still gonna be doing fanart for this series for a long time. Just so you guys are aware~
:D
(and maybe actually finish the fanfic which I got like 57,000 words in and left un-updated for over a year- *cough - Myne working for Police Superintendent Ferdinand au anyone? Can't believe I started that like, last year- it's been so long... Drawing is... More my forte when it comes to committing to things, but I am planning on finishing it, university got in the way - *cough)
#ascendance of a bookworm#honzuki no gekokujou#rozemyne#ferdinand#fermyne#yeye#part 5 vol 12#the last book....#:(#but we persevere!#there is still fanart to be made#concepts to explore!#funny comparisons to make!#like all the romance related misunderstanding our protagonist struggles with#they are certainly fruit for comedy-#*evil cackling*#BWAHAHAHA#i love this scene#its hilarious#just gossiping backstage yknow?#about how much of an arrogant nincompoop sigiswald is/how soon hes gonna fail >:D#nyehehehe#at least adolphine got out of there#kinda wish she could have had some 'bonding over sigiswald being awful' time with rozemyne though#*sigh#alas alack#anyway#i should be sleeping#since i am currently sick#and overtired
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i was looking through fatt pinup week stuff from last year and iâd completely forgotten i had already done âpseudo-academic boyfriend lured into swamp by a barefoot animal-transforming ex-farmerâ ⊠theyâre even wearing the same clothes (<-not a surprise, my costume design is laughable)???
which is very funny, but also an accurate comparison of how i imagine their relationship dynamicsâŠ
#i was destined to love chine and duvall because i already loved lemfero#chine/duvall is like.. what if lem and fero didnât constantly misunderstand eachother?#even in a perfect world lemfero would be fighting all the time#but i genuinely think chine and duvall would be happy if there werenât external conflicts#my art#chine/duvall#lemfero#goddamn am i a sucker for this premise thoughâŠ#i love my hillbillies with incongruous boyfriends#show me a hillbilly thatâs estranged from their family and aligned with animals and i eat it upppp
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stoic illiterate unwilling assassin deeply in love with unfailingly kind rich sad gay man almost stabs his crush's brother because the brother cares so much and so genuinely for the gay man that he searched assassin's room out of worry and found knives and a mysterious letter before being interrupted by the assassin who then does not want to show him the letter which seems incredibly suspicious, only for a later scene (after the gay man interrupts them and thus stops any escalation from happening) to quietly reveal that the very sus letter in possession of this illiterate assassin is not in fact a sign he's lying about being illiterate.... it's just two pages of him practicing the gay man's name over and over in neatly spaced lines...... a reveal which he was going to STAB a man over because he doesn't know that the gay man's brother knows the man is gay and loves him with his whole heart and would never ever do anything to hurt him........ i will never get over this, how could i ever get over this, everything else ever is going to be downhill from here
#yeah HI. if you are WONDERING. i am still being absolutely destroyed. utterly torn to pieces. smashed into a million happy little bits. by#to sir with love#it's not even the romance. though the romance is excellent and only getting better (and also hilarious. THE CHONBURI SCENES???)#but the siblings!!!! these brothers!!!!! everything in the world is trying to turn them against each other and every time i hold my breath#and every time!! without fail!!!! without hesitation even!!!!!! they go no. i love him and i trust him and he would never hurt me or i him.#and i CANNOT TELL YOU. how hard that's fucking me up. in the best of ways#it would be SO easy in a hiiiigh drama messy family show like this to go the easy route and just have the two sides of the family#actually fully at war with each other. or to have one of these brothers betray the other / let some misunderstanding fester#and đ€đ€đ€ because i still have a good deal of show to go but so far. oh my goddddd. they choose each other. they choose each other always#anyway. if anyone reads this and is looking for some very high quality actually good soap melodrama. to sir with love is free on youtube
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the secret of evading loneliness is believing that people love you and would be willing to love you better if given the opportunity
#vin.text#I am bad at this btw. I like to be the victim of misunderstandings because I truly believe I have never misunderstood someone in my life#and that if someone misunderstands me. its because they are not smart enough to love me#but I'm wrong. though god. it would be nice to be understood without effort
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being aro doesn't make navigating romance any easier btw.
#shiloh's shenanigans#aromantic#aro#aromanticism#like. I know im aro#but there are still people who expect me to love them romantically#and I still feel guilty for not loving them romantically#there are also people who have made me question if I really don't experience romantic attraction#even though I KNOW I don't#and there's so many misinterpreted feelings that people think I have that I don't#there are so many expectations n misunderstandings for me as an aromantic person (in their teenage years no less)#labeling myself as aromantic doesn't make dealing with that any easier#so uh. yeah no sorry to disappoint everyone who thinks I have it easy because I don't experience romantic attraction#it is in fact not easy#idk I just needed to get that out there
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character that was raised/created to be Evil: chooses to be Good
me, every time:
#love this character trope sm#lilo & stitch..... iron giant..... ily đ#also this theme is in my adventures with superman though it is more so a misunderstanding of origin for clark#but MAN i love lois' line of 'you're not a weapon you're a person'!!!!#toph musings#when there is evil all around you but you decide to do good.... *sobs*
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The Resounding Concensus was "Yes", so Here's Some Ford Bonding with the Pups
*Keep in mind that every previous interaction between these three was in a group setting. Dipper and Mabel react to Ford in incredibly different ways when they're alone with him.
Mabel, a serious look on her face: Now, you're a Duke, and I'm a Princess. You're below me, so you have to bow and say "yes" to anything I want.
Ford, dressed in a hand sewn suit: Mhm. Got it.
Mabel: Good. Now, go get me water.
Ford: You have two working legs, why can't you just-
Mabel: YOU ARE A DUKE!
Ford: *Groans* Fine. *Leaves to Get the Water*
-----------------------------
Dipper, chewing on a bone: *Wags His Tail and Grumbles Happily*
Ford, watching with fascination: Has your bite strength increased because of the transformation?
Dipper: *Ignores the Question*
Ford, crouching down: Dipper, do you think I could study the dental marks on your-
Dipper: *Snarls and Barks Aggressively at Ford*
Ford: *Scrambles Back in Shock*
Dipper: *Huffs and Skulks Off with His Bone*
-------------------------
Mabel: Great Uncle Ford? Can I paint your claws?
Ford: I... don't have claws. I have nails.
Mabel: Okay. Can I paint those?
Ford: What color?
Mabel: Seafoam Green.
Ford: Yeah, sure. Why not?
Mabel: *Squeals and Rushes to Get the Nail Polish*
-----------------------------
Ford: So... what do you like to do for fun?
Dipper: *Ignores Ford*
Ford: Oh, come on, kid! I'm trying to bond with you!
Dipper: And I'm trying to ignore you, but it looks like we're both failing at our jobs, huh?
----------------------------
Ford: Are you sure we're making this cake right? I don't think the recipe calls for... oak leaves.
Mabel, confidently: Yep! They'll add crunch!
Ford: Mabel... I don't think most people like their cake to have "crunch".
----------------------------
Dipper: *Casually Walks Into the Kitchen*
Mabel: Dipper! Wanna help make a cake?
Dipper: *Wags His Tail Slightly* Okay!
Mabel: Great! You can help Great Uncle Ford with-
Dipper, instantly turning around: Nevermind, just remembered I have something else I gotta do.
------------------------------
Mabel: Dipper, I don't know what your beef is with Great Uncle Ford, but it's gotta stop! You're making him sad!
Dipper: So what?
Mabel: Dipper, how do you think Papa Stan would feel if he found out you were being a big jerk to his brother?
Dipper: Ugh! Fine!
-One Hour Later-
Dipper, sniffing the air for Ford: *Finds Ford Sitting Silently on the Front Porch Step* Huh? *Walks Outside and Sits a Few Feet Away From Ford* What are you doing?
Ford: *Sighs* Reflecting.
Dipper: Reflecting?
Ford: *Chuckles Softly* Yeah, just... thinking about the past. Imagining what would have happened if I hadn't started that fight with Stanley. If I hadn't... *Trails Off and Sighs Again*
Dipper: *Hums* Papa Stan says that thinking about the past too much will make your head explode.
Ford: *Snickers* That sounds like something my brother would say. He was always the funny one. Gosh, I never would have made it as far as I did in life without him.
Dipper: *Smiles and Wags His Tail* You really missed Papa Stan, didn't you?
Ford: More than anything.
Dipper: *Stands Up and Runs Inside for a Moment*
Ford: Did I just get ditched?
Dipper: *Returns with His Favorite Bone* You can look at it. *Hands the Bone to Ford*
Ford, genuinely touched: *Gently Holds the Bone* Thank you. But you didn't have to-
Dipper: Consider it a gift.
Ford: For?
Dipper: *Hugs Ford as Tight as He Can* Loving Papa Stan. *Leans Back and Bumps His Nose Against Ford's* Well, it's late! I should get in bed before Papa Fidds gets mad. Goodnight! *Runs Back Inside*
Ford: *Stares at the Bone, Trying Not to Tear Up* Yeah... goodnight.
#Gravity Falls#Monster AU#Werewolf Gene AU#See What I Meant in the Beginning?#Dipper Doesnât Necessarily HATE Ford#There's Just a Bit of a Misunderstanding#He Genuinely Believed Ford Left Stan on Purpose#This Kid is Putting Half of His Family's Strife on His Own Shoulders#Which is Why He Comes Off as Shy#People Can't Hurt You if You Don't Let Them in Right?#Mabel's Just an Open Book#She Thinks It's Awesome to Have Another Protector in the Family Who Loves Everyone Unconditionally#Though She's the Only One Out of the Twins Who Understands That Ford Genuinely Cares#Doesnât Help That Bill's Been More Active Lately#But That Bit of Manipulation is for Later
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Sorry to double up on your inbox, but I had this burning idea.
Suppose Fuuta's sister has had her hair styled like the Milgram girls at various points. What scenarios might come up when Fuuta mistakes the girls for his sister?
I know you were looking for ideas on all of the girls but I got really carried away with this one train of thought with Kotoko, so have some of that instead đ I'm such a sucker for 02-04-06 seeming the type to use beauty products and know their way around a lot of hair care, and triggering memories for Fuuta via scents/sounds of his sister's job. And as you've seen I'm so emotional over him seeing Amane as an equal as they both care for each other and she feels like family...
Fuuta was used to people disappointing him.
Heâd been let down by his mother, then his father. Heâd seen how all of society screws its people over. His own friends had turned their backs on him when things got rocky. Even here, he couldnât count on any of these people to look out for him. Well, all except one.Â
Kotoko.Â
Heâd actually done a double take when he first saw her. Her hair was styled much like his sisterâs; from behind, it could have been her with a bit of dye.Â
It wouldnât have been so bizarre for her to color her head shining black. After all, that had always been his sisterâs method of rebellion. His father was a traditional man, and hated to see her chop all her hair off, chop othersâ hair off, add more piercings, or change it to any and every shade that wasnât the familyâs natural red. Fuuta had always thought they were all hollow exercises, more for attention than anything else. (It was nothing like the actual action he was taking to break away from his fatherâs strictness). Seeing Kotoko wear an eerily similar look, and hearing how closely her views aligned with his, he started to understand the appeal.
While the others were intimidated by her appearance, Fuuta found it familiar. Unlike the rest of the prison, he had no hesitation in approaching her. He was more willing to sit beside her at meals. He joined in her conversations in the common area.Â
Mahiru kept going on about being everyoneâs âbig sis,â but she never took a damned thing seriously. Yuno told Fuuta he reminded her of her little brother, but the last thing he needed was to be treated like some baby. Kotoko, on the other hand, knew exactly how to speak with him.Â
She came to show him her solidarity before his interrogation. She gave him tips on working out, and joined in his conversations about the injustice of current prison systems. She even had his back when he was scolding Mikoto about taking fighting styles seriously. He jeered at the notion that Kotoko could overpower Kazui. Though, deep down, heâd seen how strong the woman was. For someone the same age as him, and busy with university like him, she had insanely impressive power.
Heâd never dare admit it, but he looked on in awe whenever she worked out in the common areas.Â
Fuuta found even more comfort in her strength as the trial came to a close. The two ended up with opposite verdicts, but that wasnât anything new. Teachers, neighbors, relatives â everyone had reasons to praise his sister while dragging up grievances against him. Both women had a sort of brash charisma that people enjoyed. He usually only got the label of âbrash.â Kotoko was saved his rant that it all came from their differences in gender and beauty. Fuuta was confident sheâd come to the same conclusion already.Â
After all, what else separated them? They were here for practically the same reason.
He didnât let it get under his skin. While the prisoners shied away from him and the others named unforgiven, he could always count on Kotoko to speak with him as honestly and directly as usual.Â
The warden and the prisoners werenât the only ones to let him down: the voices in his head had gone from a fair debate to a loud, nasty mob with each passing day.
They seemed to be at their very worst, now. He was going on a few nights of little to no sleep thanks to their nonstop judgment. Fuuta tossed and turned in his sheets, cursing the new uniform that made it impossible to relax. It had been exhausting, consumed by fear and guilt and anger. Everything had him jumpy these days.
He flinched as his cell door creaked.Â
His bleary eyes turned to the silhouette in the doorway. A name instinctively came to his lips. Thankfully, he corrected himself before making the embarrassing mistake.Â
âItâs you, Kotoko.â It was strange for her to be here at this hour. And completely unannounced, at that.Â
âKajiyama FuutaâŠâ
He didnât care. He smiled. After all, surrounded by so many betrayals, he always felt safer with her around.
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#kotoko yuzuriha#photos taken moments before disaster!!!!#đ#i think kotoko is a bit too open with her opinions where this type of misunderstanding could never happen#but if she were just a little more secretive i think its wholly possible for fuuta to be influenced by her appearance and miss the signals#-_-#i love the idea that yuno reminds him of his victim so to have her Also remind him of his sister would be VERY interesting....#and 'big sis' mahiru actually looking like big sis would have a lot of comedy potential asdfsadf#i feel like muu wouldnt act very sisterly at first but the resemblance would bring them together in a nice way#and then theyd realize theyre really similar and have a real fun dynamic#and even though hed never in a million years admit he wanted amanes help -- if she reminded him of home im sure hed spend even more time#around her ;----;#drabbles
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ngl this was my favorite scene in episode 7
From the way Michelle just goes âoh? youâre dating my brother? I think thatâs wonderfulâ to the way Chris steps on Finnâs foot when he tries to deny it and Finnâs like âfine Iâm dating your brother (by implication)â itâs like,,, okay,,, so im trying my best to look at them objectively but iâm sorry???Â
#high card#highcard#Michelle Redgrave#Chris Redgrave#Finn Redgrave#Chris Redgrave/Finn Oldman#I love how the misunderstanding was never cleared up#and instead is only reinforced by Chris#Chelsea was the MVP of this episode though what a queen#also on my list of High Card ships: Chelsea/Chris/Finn#didn't see that one coming#you can bet im going to write more fanfics for this fandom based off this episode though#starting with more joker!Finn and traitor!Chris stuff#and then Chelsea/Chris/Finn and Finn/Chris stuff plus Michelle as I go
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It's kinda funny how people reject the comics bc Batman is abusive and it's mostly ignored/not addressed properly... and then instead go read fic where Batman is abusive but it's ignored/not addressed properly
#my dc posting#dc#bruce wayne#batman#i dont read comics bc bruce is such an abusive asshole. instead i read 'happy' batfam fic- most of which has bruce be an abusive asshole#but no don't worry. at the end after countless mistakes and mistreatment of his kids he'll tell them he loves them and they'll forgive him#immediately and everything will be rainbows and sunshine#he just has issues with communication đ he loves them so much he just don't know how to show it >_> once he does though#everything he's done will be excused and ignored in favour of a cute lil family hug <3 isn't this such good parenting#it is genuinely so disturbing to read that over and over again bc the writers don't realize how horrific that is so it's not tagged w the#proper warnings#once again. most fics start out good w bruce fucking up monumentally and it rly explores how the kids feel and cope w it and it's just#so good#and then the moment the 'making up' moment comes on it's like i've gone from a gourmet meal to a trash-bin half-eaten burger#at this point i oftentimes just stop reading the moment the Big Clarification of the misunderstanding comes up bc it's just immediately#gonna turn into ''oops silly bruce is a lil silly and feels soooo bad and Hugs His Kid once (1) solving all of the issues''#and see the thing is. i like bruce!!! i like batman!!!! just when he's not written like this :)#well no actually i still like him as a character even when he's being shitty. but not when the narrative bends over backwards to excuse#his actions. yknow?#there's so many fics with so many good premises and so many fascinating ways they could explore the characters and their relationships#but the moment batman is put into the mix it feels like everyone's brains turn off to dickride him as the Ultimate Father who just has a fe#issues#this is like my 10th post on this topic. but it's so common and keeps happening!! that i keep having more thoughts and complaints abt it!!!
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everyone always like "ugh i hate misunderstandings in fiction theyre so overdone and cliche" well not me tho. i love needless drama and people being fucking stupid about each other
#misc#personally though i dislike anything to do w cheating. but overall i love misunderstandings of all kinds they are so fun
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ANYWAY peace and love and good things friends Iâm going to bed and kissing you all on the forehead đđ
#I DELETED THOSE POSTS because I donât want people getting annoyed at each other over misunderstandings my loves!!#someone unfollowed me so like if you didnât like x readers of me being nice to people why were you here lmao#ALSO so close to the next milestone though Iâm hoping itâll be June!!#finnie shouts into the void
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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