#i love the major so much
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hiya! could you write a jasper fic where the reader meets the major? i'm obsessed with how you write for jasper đ„ș
A Major Moment
Summary: Takes place in Breaking Dawn, when all the covens show up to be witnesses for the Cullens. Jasper is worried about you being around so many vampires, especially when he starts to feel like he's losing control. When an incident does occur, the Major steps in to save the day. But you have no clue what's happening.
Words: 2456
Note: I'm alive! And writing again. This work gave me so much trouble before I took my break, but I'm pretty happy with it! I hope you like it, thank you for the request!
---
âI donât like you beinâ here,â Jasper murmurs stiffly, leaning against the doorway to your shared room.
âI know, Jazz, but Iâm worried about whatâll happen if Iâm not here.â You pull on your coat, turning to meet his concerned gaze. It makes you soften and you give him a gentle smile, âYou think I havenât noticed how tense youâve been lately, huh mister?â
Jasperâs lips press into a thin line, a wrinkle forming between his brows. Of course you noticed.Â
It started the moment Alice had the vision of the Volturi coming for their family. He felt it, in the back of his mind. That slight pull. The need to feel in control. Him.Â
Jasper was used to it. He had plenty of practice holding him back, only letting the edges fray enough to help. Like when they fought the newborn army, or when the two of you and Alice had fled with Bella from the hunter. He could control it. He had to.
You were never meant to meet that part of him, the one with stained hands and war-driven convictions. You were too soft for that side of him, tooâŠbreakable. So Jasper did everything in his power to keep him out of it, locked away deep in the recesses of his mind.
But then their allies started to appear and something shifted. The pull turned into a dull pressure in his chest, like a beast pressing at the bars of its cage. Snarling, vicious, protective. He could feel it as he watched you interact with them, oblivious to the danger, the hunger he could feel radiating from all of them. It set his teeth grinding.
âYou shouldnât trust âem, darlin,â the blond warns you, voice almost a growl.
âTheyâre our allies, Jazz,â you remind him softly, curling your arms around his waist. The vampire is tense, tenser than usual. You prop your chin against his chest, wide eyes squinting. âPlus I have you. I donât know if youâve noticed, but theyâre all pretty intimidated by you. They wonât try anything.â
That does give him a strange sense of satisfaction. While he considers most of these people friends, he knows that he wonât be able to control himself if one of them touches you. The family had made it clear. Youâre off limits. Every human in Forks is off limits. Still-
âHey.â You pinch his ribs, making Jasper jump. Those gold eyes flicker back down to you questioningly. You shake your head, giggling, âStop worrying! Iâm fine, theyâre fine, everything will turn out okay. You can relax, Jazz, Iâm safe.â
The stiffness lasts for only a few moments before Jasper gives in and leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. Heâs always had trouble resisting you, especially when you radiate such warmth. Thereâs no doubt, no hesitation in your emotions. Just complete and utter certainty in him.
The beast goes quiet, if only for a moment.
A moment that disappears as soon as you join the covens downstairs.
The room is tense, filled with quiet, murmured conversations. Theyâre all on edge. Though they were all asked to come only to be witnesses before the Volturi, the expectation of a battle still hangs over the house.
You flicker among them, sparking conversation, making jokes, trying to just lighten the mood. Itâs the least you can do to help. And this way you donât feel so useless. If it does come down to a fight, that is exactly what youâll be. Youâre only human after all.
Jasper lingers along the wall, never taking his eyes off of you.Â
Itâs in moments like this he wishes he could turn his ability off. Every anxiety, every twitch of impatience, the collection of unspoken concern, he feels it all. Itâs like walking through a fog so thick you can barely see. It's suffocating.
And he can feel him again. Prowling along the edges of his mind. Looking for just the right moment to-
A sharp gasp makes Jasper flinch. The smell of blood, your blood, hits him, and for a split second, his focus falters.
Enough for his control to slip.
---
You can barely process it.
One moment, youâre clutching your bleeding hand to your chest, fear freezing you to the ground as you watch a man lunge for you, teeth bared in a snarl.
The next moment, that same man is crashing through the wall of windows, the sound of shattering glass ringing through the air. The whole room goes dead silent.
Jasper stands in his place, drawing back to his full height, face a mask of impassivity, eyes alight with a rage that makes everyone recoil. It pours off of him, fills the room like the static before the storm.Â
Your breath freezes in your lungs when he turns to you. It feels like one wrong move could set him off. On what? You donât know. But you stay stock still as his eyes trace over you slowly. They catch on the blood oozing out between your fingers, the ones you desperately press against your wound. Something dark flashes across his face, his jaw clenching.
âUpstairs.â
Your heart lurches to your throat, wariness and confusion flooding your chest. His voice is deeper than youâve ever heard it, accent thicker. An alarm goes off in your head.
When you donât move, though, Jasper reaches for your arm, grip just shy of bruising.
âI said - upstairs.â
Before you can even get a word out, heâs dragging you in that direction, so fast you can barely keep up without stumbling. Glancing to the Cullens, you silently beg for some kind of help. You have no clue whatâs going on. But the family just watches on as if theyâve seen this all before. Except Bella, who looks just as confused as you feel.
Your attention is forced back to staying upright when you reach the stairs. Jasper doesnât slow down for even a second, not until you reach your room and he practically throws you inside. In an instant, youâre backed against a wall, his tall frame eclipsing yours.
âShow me,â he demands, voice low, barely restrained.
âWhat?â You squeak, eyes wide, heart racing. Somethingâs wrong.
âShow me your hand.â
You tighten your hold unconsciously. Panic grips you like a noose around your lungs.Â
âI donât- I donât think thatâs a good idea, Jazz,â you croak out. Thereâs too much blood.
Jasperâs eyes narrow, âAnd I donât appreciate repeatinâ myself, sugar.â
âBut-â
âNow.â
Flinching, you instantly offer him your hand. Even if itâs a bad idea, you donât want to test this side of him. Something tells you that he could force you to if he wanted to and this is him being nice.Â
You hold your breath when he takes your wrist, waiting for whateverâs going to happen next. Jasperâs never had an easy time controlling himself around your blood. Youâve worked on it, but this is too much, too sudden and you canât help but brace for more pain.
But the seconds tick by andïżœïżœnothing. You peek an eye open slowly. The blond moves with practiced ease, checking your pulse, carefully examining the edges of the gash, as if the blood isnât even there.
Somethingâs different. Everythingâs different. How he holds himself, the way he dragged you up here, his voice. And his eyes. Itâs hard to not stare at them. Their usual gold depths are dark as amber, still burning with something completely violent, bloody and crimson and unnervingly calm.Â
Youâve never once seen Jasper like this.
âWhatâs going on Jazz?â You ask, voice pitching up.
The vampire pauses, hard gaze flickering up to yours. You almost flinch, instincts screaming at you that being at the center of this manâs attention is dangerous. It feels like any moment that rage could turn on you, like a wolf, bloody maw ready to clamp around your neck.
âAre you scared, darlinâ?â His voice is a low rumble, softer than before, but still rough, dark.
Swallowing thickly, you look down at your hands, head spinning. He quickly covers the cut on your palm, careful not to touch it, but keeping it from your eyes, as if he knows the sight of blood makes you dizzy. Itâs at odds with everything else about him right now and it makes you think that your Jasper must still be there somewhere. The worst of your nerves fizzle out.
âI donât know,â you whisper eventually, and his eyes narrow, âI donât- I donât understand whatâs going on, or why youâre acting different, but I donât think youâre trying to scare me. So..so, no, I donât want to be.â
The man hums, lips pursing into a thin line as he goes back to examining your palm, âNo tellinâ if thatâs foolishness or courage.â
âMaybe both.â Your voice is still shaking. Taking a deep breath, you try again with a different question, âSo who are you? Cause I donât think youâre Jasper, at least not completely.â
He doesnât respond immediately. Instead, you watch as he steps back, disappearing into the bathroom for only a moment before reappearing with your first aid kit, the one you keep here for emergencies. With that same, practiced ease, the blond pulls out the supplies he needs and starts cleaning your wound.
âMost call me Major Whitlock.â
You hiss as he swipes alcohol over the cut. It stings almost as much as the wound itself, scattering your thoughts. The Major mumbles an apology, but doesnât pause in his movements. Itâs methodical, how he cleans it, applies some ointment, and then bandages it. Like heâs done it be-
Oh.
His words finally process in your mind. Major Whitlock. Jasper told you about him once, back when you first asked him about his scars. The man he was before you, before the Cullens. The man he had to be to deal with all that death. The Major.
âI never thought Iâd meet you,â you murmur, all but forgetting your apprehension in the wave of curiosity that washes over you.Â
âHe never wanted you to,â the Major replies stiffly, taping off the wrap, âHeâs scared Iâll hurt you.â
Brow furrowing, you glance down at your bandaged hand. Itâs perfectly done and you can barely feel any more pain. Thanks to him.
âI canât see why heâd think that,â you hum, head tilting, âYou donât seem all that dangerous to me.â
Wrong thing to say.
A sharp, unexpected tug on your wrist makes you squeak. The Major draws you flush to his chest, close enough that you can see the flecks of molten gold in his eyes and feel his cool breath against your face. It makes you freeze, hands trapped between your bodies, unable to do anything as he leans down, lips tauntingly close to yours.
âYou shouldnât be so naive, sugar,â he drawls, voice a low rasp. âYou wouldnât think so kindly of me if you knew whatâs goinâ through my mind.â
Like how he wishes he had ripped the arms off the man downstairs for even thinking about touching you. Or how the scent of your blood makes him want to pin you against the wall and sink his teeth into your neck. He wants to know if you taste as cloyingly sweet as you smell.Â
âIâm still not scared of you,â you whisper, blinking up at him with wide, doe-ish eyes, cheeks painted a tempting shade of red. âI know you wonât hurt me, Major.â
You trust him. He can feel it radiating from you, soft and warm and simple. It makes something violently possessive curl in the Majorâs chest. You were right, after all. He would do anything to protect you, like a feral dog at your heel - loyal even if it killed him. He and Jasper could agree on that, as much as he might not want to admit it.
âYou really are somethinâ, sugar,â he muses, grip softening. There was no point in trying to scare you any further. You were a stubbornly sweet thing.
You offer him a shy smile, âThank you. And thanks for saving me.â
The Major nods. âIt was my pleasure.âÂ
He pauses, lips pursing. You watch as his gaze flickers over your face, something you can't pinpoint crossing his features. Then-
âCan I kiss you, sugar?â
You almost laugh. Itâs a ridiculous question at this point, but itâs just so Jasper that you canât help but grin. Guess heâs always been like this.
âIf you want,â you hum.
And he does.
Itâs not like any of the kisses youâve shared before, not soft or gentle. Jasper has always been too scared of hurting you, but the Major holds onto you like a starving man. He pulls you impossibly closer, fingers threading through your hair to tilt your head just the right way. Itâs hard and insistent but still achingly tender and perfect.
Youâre left breathless when he pulls away. Not too far though. He rests his forehead against yours, taking the moment to focus on the sound of your heart and the comforting warmth of your touch. It softens the snarling creature that heâs meant to be.
You can feel the shift. The way his touch turns gentle, hands shifting to hold your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheeks. You can practically feel the concern that fills his gaze.
âHey Jazz,â you breathe out softly.
He doesnât respond. You glance up at him, amusement flickering in your chest at the perplexed look on his face. Thereâs your Jasper.
âIâm fine, Jazz,â you insist. Itâs easy to tell exactly what heâs thinking. The vampire frowns, glancing at the bandage covering your hand. Right. You correct yourself, âIâm fine now. The Major saved me and bandaged me up. Good as new.â
You wiggle your fingers, just to show him. It stings a little, but not nearly as much as before.Â
âHe did a good job, almost as good as Carlisle!â
âHe-â Jasper stops, swallows. âI didnât hurt you?â
âNo. Nothing happened.â You wrap your arms around his waist. Itâs just like before. He holds himself stiff for a moment, fighting between the urge to relax or push you away to a safe distance. But he still canât resist you. Not now. Not ever.
The tension drips from his shoulders. Jasper curls an arm around you, voice muffled as he tucks his face into your hair, âSorry if I scared you, darlinâ. I shouldâve known that would happen. I just want you safe.â
âI know,â you hum, âAnd I wasnât scared. Not really. Though, the Major sure has his own way of doing things. Charming guy, really.â
You can feel Jasper smile into your hair, âYou really are something, darlin.â
âThatâs what he said!â
---
You cannot convince me that the Major is not still a gentleman at his core! He's a bit rough from his time with Maria, but he was such a kind man before that. I will die on this hill.
Anyways! Hope you guys liked it! I might be a bit rusty, but feel free to send in requests! I'm excited to write for y'all again.
#reader insert#x reader#reader#jasper hale#jasper whitlock#twilight saga#twilight#jasper hale x reader#jasper whitlock x reader#jasper x reader#the major#the major x reader#i will die on this hill#he's rough but he's a gentleman#i love the major so much
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so how about part 41 huh
#theyâre so sillyyyy#also I LOVE when Arthur interacts with animals SO much heâs so fucking cute when he does that#Arthur Lester the majority of the time: đđđ€đ đ€Źđ€đ#Arthur Lester when he sees a whimsical little creature: âșïžđđđ„°đđđđ€©đ„čđ„č#malevolent#arthur lester#john doe#art#my art#i spent way too long on this besties Iâm ngl#Arthur turned out looking so cute tho I think :3
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instant crush
#my art#fanart#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#ao no ex#aoex#rin okumura#shiemi moriyama#rinshi#rin#shiemi#okumura rin#okumura#emily loves cookies#redraw#lineless art#lineless#RAHHHH I LOVE THEM#it's so funny that I never draw fanart for this series DEPSITE how much I love it#it's so precious to me and has been a major comfort for years now
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On their way to school for their daily dose of teasing their grade captain like kids embarrassing their parents
Sakura is not amused.
#wbk chatter#tonpu market street art#kurita junpei#kakiuchi yuri#takanashi tsukasa#anzai masaki#sakura haruka#suo hayato#nirei akihiko#i had this idea floating around my head for like a good while#then i saw these four and choji teasing sakura so it plopped itself into my canvas#theyâre so silly#and thatâs why i love them very much#to the wbk artists who draws these four together or individually on the regular#how does it feel to have my heart in ur hands#btw they run a online shop with the shirts on sale free shipping#and im pretty sure the majority of the town owns one or two of that shirt
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even if we each are nothing, i can still feel your hand holding mine... and isn't that worth everything?
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii spoilers#ii finale spoilers#ii18 spoilers#i really truly enjoyed the ii finale. it was so moving#at some point i bet i'll elaborate on how much it means to me...#but in the meantime i can say that it made me all the more grateful to be a part of this wonderful community!#i love you osc! thank you for welcoming me with open arms#this was the second major object show finale i saw air in real time (the first was the bfb finale). and both have been so great#i'm so honored to be able to share the experience of watching this finale with all of you lovely people#thank you all so much! and thank you animationepic!#for all of its flaws inanimate insanity is truly a wonderful show that's touched many hearts... including mine <3
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chillin in the hot springs đ±
+ a closeup
#ok so after drawing this i realized a major anatomical error that i compeltely overlooked and its bothering me so much that i cant unsee it#but i like how the drawing turned out so im not gonna change it#its bc if theyre both sitting down in the pool. there is no room for nemesis. but i hope you all can imagine that the pool is very deep and#they are actually standing#ok please imagine that for my sanity thank you#in my og sketch they were at the right edge of the pool and they would both have room to sit in this position but i moved them#cause i thought it would look better compositionally#and just didnt realize that the anatomy wouldnt make sense that way lmfao#anyway hope yall can still enjoy this melnem fanart#melnem#hades 2#hades ii#melinoe#nemesis#fanart#my artwork#illustration#i need these two to kiss kiss fall in love asap#oh my god also i love the little detail of their painted nails on their in game artwork#so cute#melinoe has green nails and nemesis has red nails#im love them
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Yamask Ingo in sinnoh chilling doing pokemon stuff idk eating a berry
[That moment when little]
#submas#ingo dying amnestic then having his life pass before his eyes: oh shit i have so much unfinished buissnes#yamask is not native in sinnoh so imagine being the only new little guy there LEAVE ME ALONE#submask au#major character death#theres so many diffrent ghost ingos i love it its funny#i can never decide if emmet should have a beard or not. here its been 2-4 years maybe since ingo gone?
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tsubaki is like a deer in headlights
#tsubaki aoyagi#rika seto#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#d4dj fanart#rika d4dj#tsubarika#tsubaki d4dj#merm4id#RONDO#yuri#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#wlw#lesbian#sapphic#rikatsuba#i love tsubarika i love them so much im going to explode#new major minx hyperfix just dropped
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yes, yes, boba fett finds it strange and uncomfortable when people can see his face and this is one of the major reasons he almost never removes his helmet (in the expanded universe anyway), but another factor that i think isn't explored nearly enough is just how much his helmet shapes how he sees the world. it grants him 360° vision, lets him interface with his weapon systems and slave I, and automatically dampens loud noises and dims bright lights. imagine going through the vast majority of your life seeing the world through that lens and then suddenly taking it away. removing his helmet for any significant length of time likely isn't just uncomfortable for him but downright disorienting.
#boba fett#boba fett meta#so much is made of how mandalorian helmets have all these powerfulâ often perception-altering features#and how many mandalorians spend the majority of their lives wearing them#i'm surprised there aren't more references to the difficulties such mandos might have adjusting to NOT wearing them#not just socially but like on a sensory level#there's one description in the boba fett junior novels that i really love#where bitty!boba gets his helmet knocked off his head by another bounty hunter#and the barrage of light and sound is compared to water being poured over his face#like it's that jarring to him#and that's when he was still a kid and hadn't yet experienced literal years of wearing his helmet every day!#so imagine what it's like for him when he's an adult making that transition#star wars#mandalorians
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sheâs an artist. sheâs got DID and itâs not villainized. her armor is a bunch of tiny freaks in a trench coat. sheâs good friends with one sword and traumatized another as a child but they are rebuilding that relationship. she infiltrated the mafia. her husband supports trans rights and I think she does too but this hasnât been confirmed and probably wonât be for at least 3-5 years in our timeline. probably more. she needs therapy but was probably one of the reasons it was invented. sheâs also ginger. Iâm not saying who it is but you know who it is.
#shallan davar#shallan kholin#wind and truth#wat spoilers#cremposting#her!!!!!#look she has been my blorbo since day one of reading this series#I think there needs to be more appreciation for our girl#and her alters#like she is the walking definition of 3 disasters in a trench coat#i love all of them#so so much#veil stormlight#radiant stormlight#the stormlight archive#and finally#I donât think there are more alters but if they exist I want to see them#i mean#i donât have DID but I have cptsd which is like a step down on the spectrum#and conditions beyond sad little meow meow ptsd are RARELY portrayed this well#in a hero no less#brando sando#you have done something amazing#that a major studio will probably botch in 30 years#even if itâs not earth shattering in terms of quality#DID protagonist!!!#who gets to be happy!!#anyways enough rambling
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the amt of times i kicked my feet relistening to this ep omfg
and i love revisiting a time where chip is alive lol
#ignoring that they all went to sleep separately i think they deserve to cuddle#albatrio#lavrose art#jay ferin#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jrwi fanart#fanart#art#jrwi#jrwi riptide#i love reunions so much itâs why i reread that one part of mark of athena a million times and nothing else#also donât ask me about the blanket idk either#polypirates#as a treat#jrwi spoilers#i just realized my caption is a major spoiler SORRY
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can't get over the knock thrice "employee handbook" notebook's end pages being covered in alice's doodles and there's a to-do list in the back that includes "gw*n some shortbread" which. ma'am. is that seriously a reminder to get shortbread for gwen. but with her Name. Censored. "oh im gonna get snackies for her but i'm gonna be mean about it" what kind of "get out of my school" bullshit is this
#ramblings with major#the magnus protocol#tmagp#alice dyer#gwendolyn bouchard#dyhard#cursing#i love the tidbits in the merch so much you have no idea
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if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?
#i mean. the ordan part can control what sentence he wanna hijack right?#hmm#after seeing so much dialogue from his quote page i really wanna see the ordan part inside ordis actually has major impact in canon#and not just to roast parvos. i absolutely love that part but i hope i can see more than that#also makes me wonder how much details in his quote implies what would happen later in the game#like. idk how long ordis has been calling us the operator but i guess it's definitely before the second dream#and i also guess people would understand it as the operator of orbiter or something and not about#...that#yeah that kind of detail#does that count as a spoiler?#what am i talking about this whole post IS a spoiler#but i don't actually wanna tag my each and every post as spoiler tho#cephalon fragment has existed for years so i guess im just gonna... keep. not tagging that. yeah#warframe#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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âïžHappy Wednesday! From the best DS9 crew photoâïž
#happy wednesday#Last of this year!!!#remember to have fun#sparkle on and be yourself!!#happy holidays to all!#and good times for those who donât celebrate#i love this photo#its was so much fun and I really hope to convey the awkwardness and silliness#The most gif ever#silly#star trek#ds9#star trek ds9#major kira nerys#kira nerys#jadzia dax#ds9 jadzia#jake sisko#benjamin sisko#captain sisko#quark star trek#quark ds9#miles o'brien#miles obrien#odo ital#odo ds9#julian bashir#doctor bashir#tw flickering#flickering gif
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best part of tgr to me was the entire trojan line up going âi stand by my cancelled wife!!â absolutely standing ten toes DOWN for Jean the whole book
#they do NOT play about their sad french man. they love him actually#every scene we got of jean with the trojans was GOLD theyâre hilarious and care about him so much already#if the majority of the next book was literally just jean and the trojans best friendism i would be so okay with that its great to me#jean moreau#the trojans#jeremy knox#the sunshine court#the golden raven#tgr#tgr spoilers#aftg
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ghost who was chemically castrated by roba and soap who wants to help him to regain his sexual autonomy
nsfw, angst, roba, unnegotiated unsafe but consensual gun play, hopeful ending
đđ§Œ
ghost walks like it hangs low.
thereâs a tilt to his hips and a spread in his thighs and johnnyâs never been able to stop staring.
and ghostâs never asked him to.
he knows heâs seen him; heâs not exactly discreet. he swears heâs even seen him cock his hips out before to give him a better view. but he always pulls back just as they toe the line; verbal cold water on the tentative heat they almost canât help but spark when theyâre together.
itâs never a no; johnnyâs not so selfish of a cunt that heâd push when he knows he isnât welcome. itâs always a reluctance; an âi wish i could,â never in so many words. an open ended âbutâŠâ as ghost circles the reason without ever actually saying it. johnny knows itâs something personal, something more than a difference in rank could ever excuse.
so he backs off when ghost does, jokes instead of flirts and holds his breath through the agonising wait until ghost lets him in close again. waits to know if heâll let him close again.
itâs almost anticlimactic, the end of their dance; his delicate steps and looping logic to work out why bulldozed as ghost comes out and says one random night, âi canât fuck.â
itâs not bitter. it doesnât grate coming out of his throat; he doesnât spit it like itâs something to be ashamed, not twisted with insecurity as if itâs an accusation by an ex.
itâs a statement of fact.
âyou canât fuck,â johnny echoes anyway because even if it is the reason, the big why⊠it still doesnât really answer anything.
âi canât get it up,â he elaborates, this horrid blankness in his eyes like heâs reading from a script. âwhatever youâre looking for, whatever you want- i canât give it to you.â
johnny just looks at him, the chill air prickling his skin. âright,â he nods calmly. âbecause my interest in you starts and ends with your dick.â
that blank calm shatters. âjohnnyâŠâ he warns.
âdo you really think iâm that shallow?â he cuts in, curing himself for the way his voice breaks but he never thought ghost would think so low of him; that this whole time, ghostâs thought thatâs the only thing he wants from him. âlike iâd take you for a ride ân just drop you?â
âthereâs a difference between not gettinâ it for one night and never gettinâ it at all,â ghost growls, turning his back on him to lean against the edge of the roof. his shoulders heave and the anger seeps from him in one long breath. âitâs not a hitch, johnny. not a performance issue or ptsd or whatever the fuck youâre thinkinâ. itâs permanent. irreversible.â
irreversible.
johnny stops, cold creeping up his limbs and dousing his defensive anger. ghost is many things and when it comes to his words, chief amongst them all is deliberate. he didnât say itâs unfixable. incurable.
irreversible.
johnny buries his selfish hurt and scuffs his boots, an unobtrusive warning of movement, and comes up beside him; just enough distance between them to catch their breaths. he leans back against the ledge and looks over the opposite side of the roof at the dark sky.
âmexico,â he murmurs. not an accusation. not even really a question but ghost collapses in on himself anyway; sinking into his crossed arms digging into the ledge.
âmexico,â he agrees just as quietly. ââpparently, roba found it more entertaining to let me keep it but- cut the cords. more demeaning that way; cockâs gone, at least you donât feel the urge. donât have to look at the fuckinâ thing hang there when nothinâ fuckinâ works.
âitâs not âbout how i see you, johnny,â ghost promises and itâs almost apologetic. âbut you like sex. eventually, youâll want it. and i canât give it to you. easier to just⊠not let it get to that point.â
johnnyâs jaw flexes. everything in him wants to reject it, wants to protest that something as trivial as an orgasm is more important to him than ghost.
but he also knows words are useless here.
they stand there looking out into the gathering dark, tense silence hanging between them, and the only thing johnny knows is if he isnât careful, he could lose the one person he cares about most.
đđ§Œ
ghostâs been uneasy since his abrupt confession.
he knows it was sudden, borderline cruel to dump his shit on johnny with no warning but he just couldnât take it anymore; couldnât take the back and forth when he knew it would never go anywhere, couldnât take johnnyâs hope when he knew heâd have to watch it twist into disgust and pity.
into disappointment.
he figures thatâs the end of it; thereâll be no more flirting now, no more staring or heated looks, no more teasing him by spreading his knees out just to see the flash of hunger in his eyes. the control he felt playing with johnny knowing it was welcome, just because he could- heâll never feel that again. not now that johnny knows the truth.
then he steps into his room to find johnny laying naked on his bed.
heâs not spread out like an offering, not throwing him some cheap sultry glance as he plays with himself. heâs not even hard; his cock limp over the cradle of his balls, his legs bent loosely together, arms under his head as if heâs settling down for the night.
ghost sighs and shuts the door behind him. âjohnnyâŠâ
âi know,â johnny says and itâs gentle; not cutting him off, just getting his attention. âjust⊠hear me out?â
thereâs nothing else to say. thereâs nothing johnny can say or do to fix his violated body. but ghost still crosses his arms and leans back against the door like he can anyway.
johnny pushes himself up and off the bed, closing the distance between them but still giving him enough space to breathe; to open the door behind him, to escape.
âi can never know what was taken from you,â he starts and ghostâs fingers dig into his arms. âi can never know what it means to you. and i can never get it back.â
he doesnât break eye contact and slowly lowers himself to his knees. âbut i can give you something else.â
âyou?â ghost guesses flatly and as much as it warms his blood, as much as heâs imagined having johnny look up at him just like this⊠itâs still not enough to offset the sickening swoop in his gut when his cock doesnât so much as twitch.
âiâm a nice bonus,â johnny purrs but his smile remains gentle. âbut iâm not the main event.â
he lifts a hand and ghost readies to smack it away when he reaches for his thigh holster instead of his belt. he flicks the closing strap open and pulls his handgun, his favourite, free.
âyou told me you canât fuck,â he murmurs, popping out the clip. he taps it against the side and loads it back in with a practiced hit with the butt of his palm. âbut fucking isnât all there is.â
âjohnny, whatâŠâ ghost starts just to cut himself off as johnny thumbs off the safety and loads a round into the chamber.
âyou trust me?â johnny asks and itâs as loaded as the gun in his hand.
good then, that ghost knows the answer. âalways have.â
johnnyâs smile blooms with warmth, with pride, and it chases away any reluctance he could possibly feel. he lets him take his hands in his, wrapping them around the gun with his finger on the trigger guard. he brings the barrel up beside his temple, holding it steady before his hands fall away.
until itâs only ghost between him and a bullet.
johnnyâs hands go to his belt, his movements slow enough for ghost to stop him long before he reaches his cock, forever hanging limp in his pants. but he just rubs the muzzle along his temple, almost nuzzling him with the gun as he pulls down his jeans and boxers.
he waits for johnny to take him in hand, maybe try and pantomime a handy, and his hips almost recoil at the thought.
but he doesnât try to touch him.
instead, he takes his wrist and guides the gun to sit in front of his cock; angling it to follow the same slight curve he has then holds his hands behind his back like heâs standing at attention. he splays his knees wide, sinking deeper and ghost sucks in a harsh breath as johnny ducks under the gun; his eyes locked on his as he curls his tongue under the barrel and brings it into his mouth.
it takes every ounce of will he has to not let his hand shake around the gun as johnny gives it the slowest, messiest blowjob heâs ever seen; slowly rising higher on his knees, guiding the gun up with him as if itâs his cock hardening. his cheeks hollow as he sucks, tongue laving up the barrel and flicking out to play with the muzzle like a cockhead, moaning with every bob of his head until saliva drips off the metal and makes a mess of his chin.
ghostâs never felt so powerful as he does watching johnny hang off the end of his gun; watching his cock harden and drool between his legs without a single touch, knowing he could pull the trigger at any time and johnny would not only let him but heâd thank him.
the thought breaks him from his paralysis, drawing the gun from his lips and johnny immediately stills; rolling his wide eyes up like heâs trying to check on him. ghost pushes every ounce of heat into his gaze and cocks the gun to the side, slowly pushing it back in until johnnyâs lips meet the trigger guard.
johnny whines as he fucks his mouth, thrusting his hips along with each long drag like the gun is an extension of his body; almost too rough as tears prick his eyes and his lips redden and bruise but he never asks him to stop; his cock leaking a puddle on the floor beneath him.
âyou gonna cum for me, johnny?â ghost croons, holding back a groan when just his voice is enough to make him shiver. âgonna cum with my fucking gun down your throat?â
he gives a broken whimper, as close to an agreement as he can make, and ghost crowds in close. he grips the base of his mohawk, wrenching his head back until his throat is flush to the front of his thigh. johnny lets out a choked cry, eyes rolling back and he doesnât hold back as he brutally fucks his face; feeling the bulge of his gun in his throat against his leg.
âcome on, johnny; you wanna be my good little holster?â he growls and makes sure heâs watching as his finger moves from the guard to the trigger. âthen take my fucking load.â
he forces the gun as deep as he can and johnny gags, his shaking body locking up as he cums untouched; painting the floor and ghostâs boot, cock twitching and pulsing hard enough to bump against his belly and leave a string of cum threading from it to his cock.
ghost watches him spasm and moan, his throat convulsing around the gun and a heated knot of satisfaction tightens in his gut; so close to the memory of an orgasm, heâs almost dizzy with it.
johnny slumps forward, his hands slipping from behind his back, and ghost quickly flicks the safety back on and drops to his knees. he slides the gun away and pulls johnny forward to collapse into his chest, taking his weight off his knees; his whole body trembling with aftershocks.
âyouâre crazy, johnny,â ghost whispers, awed, and feels him smile against his chest.
âaye,â he agrees, voice raspy from his gun scraping up his throat. âhow else am i supposed to prove that i mean it?â
ghost tries not to tense up; tries not to let hope sink its cruel roots into his chest. âmean it?â
johnny pulls back, his cheeks still flushed and sticky with spilled tears. âiâm yours, ghost; in any and every way youâll have me,â he promises. âsex or no sex. this can never happen again and iâll still never stop wanting you. it doesnât matter to me as much as you do. youâre everythinâ to me, ghost. not your body; not what you can give me. just you.â
a knot crowds in his throat. âand you needed to deep throat my pistol to prove that?â he deflects.
and just like always, johnny lets him. âworked, didnât it?â he winks. âyou fucked my brains out.â
ghost rolls his eyes to hide the softness he knows is flooding them and helps johnny up and gets him into his shower; cleaning him of the sweat and cum and spit covering his body.
that ghost covered his body in.
his chest hitches at the reminder as he strips himself down to a single layer and all but falls into bed, tugging johnny in after him when he hesitates just slightly at the edge of the bed; splaying his still naked body over him, sated and loose.
âi really do mean it,â johnny whispers into the crook of his neck sometime later; when their breaths have settled and synced.
ghost sweeps his fingers up and down the length of his spine, skin heâs never seen. skin he now knows every inch of. âi know you do,â he whispers back.
and for once, he thinks it might be enough.
#hello i am once again thinking about erectile dysfunction#as i am wont to do#and how such a major loss of identity and control can seriously mess you up#thats very much the theme of this one#as much as its obviously about gunplay and how hot that is its also about regaining that control over yourself#ghost was imasculated and violated#its not really about sex and soap knows that; its about retaking what was stolen from him#the power that ghost feels is hugely important to his journey to healing#and they almost definitely arent going about it the best way but hey if it works it works#also just a little thing#but both of them nonverbally setting the boundary of soaps hands being behind his back meaning the scene is going actually makes me melt#the second soaps hands come forward not only do they both take it as the end of the scene but ghost takes it as soap not being present#enough to continue#hes slipped deep enough into subspace or hes exhausted enough that he cant hold position which means the scene is over#i love them so goddamn much#anyway i have a lot of issues with control being taken for me and why else does ghost exist if not for me to project my issues onto him!#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weâre a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod mw2#cod fic
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