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#i love talking about myself syndrome
freakurodani · 1 year
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i hope i am a blog where u see my original content and u are like "look at that silly goose go"
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interstate35south · 5 months
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i love when people draw all the mxtx protagonists together but i’ll be real the generic anime boy face curse is alive and well
more often than not the art itself is fantastic it just takes me like a solid minute to figure out who’s who. bonus points if lbh is robbed of his wavy hair and the only way i can tell him apart from wwx is his forehead
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popping-greenbean · 5 months
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there are so many things that i could do so well,,, if only i could like.actually do them
#ok to rb or comment on if anyone wants to ??? i just want to ramble a bit#this post is about everything at once and nothing in particular but also very much about my art career wtf#i miss school already.having structure and clear immediate tasks to focus on and surrounded by people who i can tell myself can understand#like id still be feeling the raging imposter syndrome and self hatred but then at least i can still bury myself in schoolwork and#tell myself that its the best that i can do at the moment and i make excuses to forgive myself undeservingly for not doing more#back home with same old people into same old habits and i am once again 14 hiding in my closet writing edgy poetry plotting murder and#trying to ignore the yelling downstairs and trying to convince myself that its not my fault but at the core of it all it really is isnt it#and out of sight out of mind its harder to convince myself that i am still loved or worthy of it or even capable honestly#and craving the academic validation hearing someone say that what comes from my mind has any value at all any real meaning#and maybe then im still just trying to fool myself because what i want is for someone to believe im capable because i cant do it for myself#craving someplace i can distance myself from being who ive been all my life and guilt for not wanting what ive been lucky enough to receive#ok going to stop before i incriminate myself even more#prob will delete later but if i forget to haha hi#greenbean talks to plants
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salt-baby · 2 months
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my beige flag is taking immense pleasure in shocking people with my disability
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queen0fm0nsterz · 8 months
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Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic
#carols.txt#when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it#《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting#LMAOOOOOO#call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever#listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord#while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it#^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) ->#and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that ->#that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its#done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS#like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell#thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out#PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH#i need this author to give me their brain NOW#AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH#everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it#this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong)#live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.
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martritzvonmercie · 1 year
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yusuke kitagawa would have been such an s tier persona character writing-wise if atlus did not seem to actively dislike him
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rustbeltbabey · 4 months
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boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.
#mayave its imposter syndrome maybe its internalized transphobia but i dont think any gay man would ever date me bc i dont thibk any of them#would thibk of me as a man. idk. maybe this will change once i start like. PHYICALLY transitioning but i rlly feel like theres no hope 4 me#i feel like i will always be thought of as a woman for the rest of my life i feel like i will never pass as anything but a woman i feel like#i dont have any positive qualities i don't like a single thing abt myself i dont thibk im capable of loving someone im so distant w everyone#im so scared of phyically and emotional intimacy i feel like a burden i dont even know how to act like a man and i KNOW that thst isnt a#fucking thing i KNOW theres no right way of being a man i know that logically but still the fact that i grew up isolated from men and#that i rarely interact w them even to this day i have no male friends no male role models nothing im so scared im gonna like.#break social rules n shit which is RIDICULOUS bc once again there's no right way to b a guy or to preform masculinity and also im so early#in my transition no one even knows im a guy anways. but also im worri3d bc of thst no one will ever seen me as one unless i start conforming#to traditional masculinity and i dont know now to emulate it bc ivenonly ever seen it from afar i dont actually know what guys talk about#howbthey act around eachother what is socially acceptable or not i dont have a clue bc i dont ever interact w men and its like. fucking#stupid of me to even want to know bc it shouldn't matter to me BUT IT DOES and it makes me so anxious that i do not know how to emulate it#even if i wanted to i wouldnt know how bc i grew up in a fucking cult and i know so little men and i have terrible social skills n i#probably have autism which just. everything is compounded upon eachother n i feel like im going crazy i dont think ill ever be enough.#I hope i'm in a better mental place when i start t but even that im so fucking bad at doing things bc i have executive dysfunction that like#i havent even started tbe process or called thr clinic im just likem fucking spiraling. I hope my mindset becomes healthier once I start.#anwyss lol. do u guys like me? bc i feel like im unbearable n im trying not to be let me know if u do or not so i can try to cahnge ^.^#🪽
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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One thing you gotta know about me is that I will quietly unfollow the fuck out of anyone on tumblr who reblogs or posts anything even remotely positive about Tony Stark, like I will politely show myself out SO FUCKING HARD they won't even know what hit 'em. - probably because they are unlikely to notice it at all
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pepprs · 1 year
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prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!
#purrs#just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to#learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels#and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t#mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about#sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to#get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if#anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t#even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself#questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also#means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me#but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to#interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up#every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you#should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt#and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts.#delete later#like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️#and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖
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valravn72 · 2 years
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Hello my principal just called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome “being a teenager but slightly worse” how’s your Monday
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oliver-nova · 1 year
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bundy: we got gps data in that puts ramee on this building 5 mins before baas dies
me with the realization i'm gonna have to live up to this bet i made now:
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nothingnowherenow · 27 days
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I really like my job, it pays well and the work environment is like not a hellscape. However everytime I remember I have to work (for the rest of my life!!!) I do consider driving into the side of a building
#or just letting my mental health win and get bad enough that i cannot hold down a job#the fact that i literally cannot pursue my hobbies or things that bring me joy because im exhausted working 20 hours a week#i cant think about it too long or i will do something stupid#i had benefits lined up for myself i was going to be on disability and get an apartment through a program in my city#and i was going to just let myself heal and take life easy at least temporarily until my brain functions better#but now i have like a real job and people are expecting me to go to grad school and i dont want to do any of it if im honest#its totally out of obligation and performing a version of myself for the people around me that i continue to do this#i feel so fucking weak and awful being this burnt out and jaded from working part time for like 3 months#but im also like constantly dealing with trauma shit and voices and sensory overload and social bullshit that doesnt make sense to me#do you know how hard it is to both fulfill a customer service task while your brain is playing a highlight reel of abuse that happened#or when theres shouting and arguing happening in your head and you have to make small talk with coworkers#i work with youth and i love youth work but oh my god half the time i barely feel human much less adult#and people are so quick to brush me off like everyone feels like that and its just because im young yadda yadda#yeah a lot of people do deal with imposter syndrome and role confusion at my age but i am quite literally dealing with somethkng different#i genuinely do not know who i am most days people say my name and it barely registers in my head#i feel like i was just put on earth like a few months ago without any prior history or memories#thats a really distressing feeling!! if you didnt know!! and most people do not know what thats like!!#like not being able to recognize your reflection is not a normal part of being in your early 20s from what ive heard
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memelordvio · 2 months
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One aspect of having Tourette’s Syndrome that I don’t see many people talk about is how it makes being transfem more difficult. My Tourette’s is pretty severe, I can’t go ten seconds without twitching or hitting myself or barking or swearing loudly.
Everywhere I go people treat me like a freak. When people stare at me logically I know it’s because I just involuntarily told a stranger to fuck off, but all I can think is ‘Oh god they’re glaring at me because I don’t pass and they can tell I’m not a real girl.’ And even when I dismiss that fear the very next thought is ‘yeah it’s the ticcing that caught their attention but now they’re watching me, it’s only a matter of time until they realise that’s not the only unusual thing about me.’
It makes it literally impossible to go unnoticed without drawing attention to myself like so many of us try to do.
It’s scary enough using the women’s bathroom as a trans girl with low self confidence, but it’s even scarier when you know you could yell “PENIS!” at any moment and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it. It’s not exactly ladylike.
I’m every TERF’s worst nightmare lol.
I try my best to make jokes about it and not let it get to me but it’s like two different reasons for strangers to harass me and treat me like I’m not even human.
I know I shouldn’t be ashamed of being a ticcing tranny, I’m still learning to love myself. 💜
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nessaivyselena · 2 years
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chuwenjie · 1 year
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Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!
Text version of this post under the cut:
Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.
There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.
Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.
The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.
There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.
I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.
If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.
I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.
Here come the thanks:
To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.
I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.
Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.
I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.
And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.
Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!
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