#i love snoopin

[lonelyisamyw-0love]

This....is SO fucking good.

I am eating this shit up

Daily Bite, Part 2: By Daylight

Part One

Summary: Part 2 of my vampire!Moon Boys au. In which you learn the basic rules of the house and get a tour. Though you notice a few weird things in an already weird mansion.

Warnings: Not much other than the implication of someone dying and leaving a mess, but no blood or death is actually seen or mentioned in the story. Gender-neutral reader. There is mention of gendered clothing but the scene is left open so that you can choose if you want fem of masc/neutral clothing.  

Author’s Snip: I LIVE!!! Sorry for not actually posting any big posts in forever, ran out of juice and needed to just relax and let it come back to me. Not sure if I'm BACK quite yet but maybe it will. So I hope you guys enjoy this as my comeback and finally feed you all after going into hibernation.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 2k~

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sergeant102105

If you would like to join the tag list for this series or for Moon Knight content in general please let me know through my inbox.

The next day, the head maid was waiting for you to finish breakfast to give you the mansion tour. She formally introduced herself now, though she was still very uptight with you. My name is Calpurnia, "But I will be Ms. Henderson to you—and Ms. Henderson only," she told you. You just nodded and she goes off with the tour, leaving it up to you to keep up with her, both in walking and knowledge.

It was all rapid-fire, but you managed to get the gist.

All the windows are to remain with their curtains shut during the day because the wallpaper is allegedly authentic and the same that the mansion was originally built with, and the sun will bleach them of their color. The only exception is during overcast and rainy days if they have to be drawn for whatever reason.

Not many rooms are in use, like the grand dining hall, social room, guest rooms, and other such rooms. But they still have to be maintained and cleaned to avoid the chance of mold or major dust build-up.

The main kitchen, the one designated to the owners and residents, is, however, in operation, but housekeeping staff is not allowed in there.

"The staff in charge of there can clean up for themselves, but they might ask for your supplies if they're short on their own." Ms. Henderson explains.

You are allowed to clean and tend rooms with the owners in them, but you can't bother them. They do occasionally have conversations and socialize with the staff, but it's best to let them approach you first rather than approaching them.

Ms. Henderson was kind enough to give you a brief summary of who was likely to socialize, saying, "Mr. Lockley likes having company and socializes with staff the most if you're set to take care of the den room for one of your tasks. Mr. Grant's a bit of an awkward and timid man when you first meet him, but he gets chatty once he's familiar with you. Both he and Mr. Lockley like to walk about the mansion, but he's mostly holed up in the library. And then there's Mr. Spector, who sticks to his office most of the time, and he's not one for talking.". It seemed a bit more like an info dump than a 'brief summary' like she framed it to be, but with what you're here to do, it was vital.

After that, it was more rules and touring around.

The housekeeping staff works in assigned tasks around a general area, i.e., when there are tasks to be done in a certain location of the mansion, members of the staff are randomly assigned to that area, and those tasks. Depending on how big that task is, you might be put into a little group who were also assigned to the same task, and you all work together. But more commonly, you'd work a task along with others nearby in case you need anything. You can also trade tasks with other people designated to that area if you wish, but you have to run it by her first.

No going into the attic without permission. If you need something from the attic, then you ask for the key, get whatever it is that's needed, leave, and re-lock the attic door.

You asked why the attic was so off-limits, and all Ms. Henderson said was, "Too many snoopers and slack-offs going up there." and carried on.

There were a lot of other rules, but those were the main ones, it seemed. The only minor rule that you remembered was when you stumbled upon a cat walking around the halls at some point during the tour. It was a pretty-looking black cat that stopped as it trotted past the two of you to give you a sniff.

"There's a cat here?" you ask as you extend your hand to give them more to check out. Ms. Henderson sighed, "We've always kept a cat here." she explained. "They're meant to be mousers, but we hardly get any, so all they do is sit around, get their fur everywhere, and scratch up the carpet and sofa legs." Ms. Henderson sneers slightly before shrugging, claiming, "But Mr. Lockley and Mr. Grant are fond of them. So she's here.".

"This one's name is Lucy," she says. "You can pet her if you like but she's on a strict feeding schedule. 'To save room for mice'." Henderson informs before moving along. You manage to give Lucy a few pets before she also carries on down the hall.

After a bit more walking, your tour was interrupted by a young woman dressed in a similar uniform to Ms. Henderson, finding you two and calling out to her.

"Jules, what are you doing running around for me? You're assigned to the laundry room." Ms. Henderson scolds her in a firm tone.

"We're out of bleach." the girl, now known as Jules, informs her.

"Then go get a bottle from the utility closet-" Ms. Henderson orders her before Jules cuts her off by saying, "We've used all of it. There is no more bleach in the utility closet." before apologizing for her rudeness. Ms. Henderson looks puzzled and shocked at the information. "Used it all? My god, it couldn't have been that bad to use it all up," she responds.

"You didn't see it, Ms. Henderson. We've been at it for days with the stains! They left so much b-!" Jules exclaims before stopping herself mid-sentence and redirecting into a new one, "I wanted to ask if there might be any more somewhere else?" she asked.

Ms. Henderson took a moment to think before looking at you briefly and then turning back to Jules. "I believe there might be some with the kitchen staff. I'll get it and see if I can get the stains out. You can call the supplier for more." she instructs her before adding, "But catch go outside and catch your breath first. If you had to use that much bleach then you should get some fresh air before you pass out.".

As Jules nods and walks away with a "Yes, ma'am.", she turns to you, "I'm sure you can figure out the rest of the mansion. You can go back to your room and find something to do while you wait for us to get your uniform ready." she says.

You nod but ask, "Shouldn't I be fitted?".

Ms. Henderson looks back at you, confused like she was with Jules. "I don't know if you can tell, but we aren't in the old fashion black dresses with white aprons and suits here. We have general sizes. You find what fits right enough, and you keep it." she remarks.

"Then shouldn't I just be given the array and choose?" you question.

She rolls her eyes and says, "You just got the tour, we're a bit short in your size range, and we're still waiting on the other new arrival. Don't be so eager to dust and vacuum." before walking off.

You stand there for a moment, watching her walk off, before muttering to yourself "It was just a question." and walking back to the house staff hall.

Even though you can sense that your cover is going to be a pain in the ass with how snarky your technical boss is, you just remind yourself of the cash out you're going to get once you're out of here. Speaking of sensing things, even though it's clear daylight out, and some of the light just manages to get through the curtains, this place is still just as spooky looking as when you got here. It's still dead quiet and holds an eerie atmosphere, making you feel unsettled.

You do your best to shrug it off as you walk, looking around the place more closely now that you don't need to focus on listening to rules and whatnot. This place isn't as empty as you thought it would be. There's the occasional piece of furniture along the halls, like tables and decor, along with the occasional frame on the wall of either a painting or photo.

However, as you look along the wall, you find that they are a bit scattered, not really following any type of spacing pattern. You'd find that one photo on the wall was farther from the one before it and the picture before that. Almost like there's supposed to be another between them that just isn't there anymore. Even finding the occasional little hole in the wall where a nail might have once belonged and hadn't been covered yet. The photos are also all the same.

At first, you thought that they were all the same man, but as you looked more closely, you found little metal plaques on the frames saying different names. Well, it's more like different generations.

"Steven Grant Spector III"

"Jake Lockley Spector II"

"Marc Spector IV"

"Steven Grant Spector V"

"Marc Spector II"

"Jake Lockley Spector IV"

These were apparently all the past Spectors over the years. But it was impossible to believe that these were all different people with how much they looked alike despite the clear advances in the photos, like clearer images, changes in fashion, and the turn to color. You knew that Marc, Steven, and Jake Sr. were identical triplets, but for their genes to be so strong that all of their future sons looked exactly like them and thus each other? Impossible. And why is it only pictures of them as adults? What about their younger photos or pictures of their wives and other children?

You must have been staring at and thinking about these photos for a long time because the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you nearly scared the color out of you.

When you turn around, you find the exact same face that you've been looking at in the photos staring back at you. Except this time, it's got a mustache and a flat cap accessorizing it.

"Sorry," he says, laughing at your spooked reaction, "I didn't mean to sneak up and startle you like that," he says before extending his hand for a handshake.

"I assume you're the new hire for housekeeping since I've never seen you before," he comments.

"Yes," you answer as you take the hand shake and tell him your name.

"Jake Lockley," he introduces himself. "Nice to finally meet one of the owners, Mr. Lockley," you reply.

Jake cringes a bit at the title, "Only Señorita Henderson calls me that. You and the rest can just call me Jake." he explains.

"Speaking of her," Jake says, "Where is she? 'She leave you all by yourself?" he questions. You shake your head.

"She gave me a tour already, but she had to attend to something last minute. Something about stains and running low on bleach. She figured that I could find my way back to my room." you explain. "I was just taking everything in again so that I could learn the layout better. I hope that's okay," you tell him. "That's perfectly fine by me," Jake responds. "I was just worried that you got yourself lost in this big old place." he smiles, like he's trying to joke with you.

You smile back and assure him that you're not.

"Good, because if you started calling for help, it would take a while for someone to come find you." Jake joked again. You take a second to understand that he's joking again, which he seems to pick up instantly. "I'm joking again. Someone will definitely hear you. This place has a natural echo most of the time." he assures you, patting your hand just before walking away.

"See you around." he waves goodbye, leaving you alone again.

You move on and actually get back to your room. Leaving the rest of your looking for the next day when you actually start working.

Later on in the day, someone comes by and drops off a range of different styles of the housekeeping uniform. There's not much to pick from. They're all the same color, black, and there were only two style options. A plain below-the-knee-length dress with short sleeves that was a bit boxy on its own if you didn't use the optional belt loops that were around the waist, and the other was a similarly styled collared button-up with matching plain pants. You picked one and gave the rest back to your future co-worker, who informed you that you're free to add more, like an under-shirt or thermal and other such things, as long as you don't alter the uniform itself.

You then take out your journal and write down what you've observed.

"Got a tour of the place and learned some base rules. The weirdest ones were about the curtains staying closed during the day and staying out of the main kitchen. Unsure what that's about. I'll have to ask around once I meet other employees. Also, do they use a lot of bleach? I heard mention of a 'supplier' for the bleach? Unsure what that's about.

The pictures are weird here. They're all the Jr.s of the senior triplets, and no pictures of them when they're older or their partners or children. Didn't really get to ask about it, but I did meet Jake Lockley. Seems friendly and has good humor, but it's a little weird. I also couldn't help but feel like I've heard his voice somewhere, though. Like I've met him before? I don't know. Maybe he just has a generic voice? I'm sure it's nothing.

I got my uniform now, and we're just waiting on the other new person before I'm set to start learning the ropes and working. One of my uniforms smells weird, though. Like bleach and dye? Maybe they recycle uniforms, and they just cleaned it and had to retouch it before they gave it to me. They were talking about bleach earlier, so maybe that's it.

That's all I have for now. I guess I'll just wait."

[blujayonthewing]

I CANNOT DECIDE whether I want a Combat little guy or a Little Guy Flavored little guy

[somnoir]

Gotham's newest Crime Lord - part 3

Part 2 | Masterpost

"You know your way around the city." Dan commented, eyes narrowed once he realizes that Kitty and Johnny adapted a little too well to Gotham. Going to places even he didn't know existed, exploring and giving them intel he never realized was relevant. They knew history of Gotham in a way a local would. 

Johnny shrugged, turning back to Kitty who welcomed Ember with a bright smile. The two were squealing, talking about how they were going to help mess with Firefly after burning down a well-loved studio down town. 

For Dan, he wasn't going to intrude too much on his former rogues but... "You're from Gotham. Both of you." 

Johnny twitched, watching as Shadow moved to play with Elle in the air. 

"Yeah, we’re not too sure if our folks are still kickin’, but Kitty and me took off after they flipped over our thing. This place still gives me the heebie-jeebies, but hey, you guys are here. Gotham’s cool these days with all the furries and rogues runnin’ around." Johnny laughed, his cocky nature still burning bright, even when he looked almost melancholic at the memory of this place. 

No ghost was truly comfortable in their hometown, whether they died there or not. This was where they were born, where their lives began. 

"I see..." Dan mumbled, glancing to the space where Danny was usually in. His younger brother was off doing kingly duties again, slumped by work and the Observants pestering him about shit. 

There's a quiet knock on his door and Jeremy was poking his head into the room again. The ghosts didn't even care, continuing to be visible and floating around. Discomfort and a bit of fear was clear on the man's face but he turned to Dante with as much courage as he could muster. 

"Boss, we've got a lead on the missing kids." 

Ah, yes. The recent disappearances of children. He doesn't know where they go, what happens to them. All he knows is that children were picked of the streets and never to be seen again. 

"Someone's been takin' kids?" Kitty grimaced, not minding how Jeremy shuddered. "Dan, dear, darling! Send me and Johnny. We know this city better than Batman and his little birdies."

Again, Dan sighed. "Gimme a minute, Kitty. Not enough information." He grunts, turning to Jeremy to hand him the report. 

"Anything else?"

"Well... About the Bats..."

"They snoopin' around again?" 

"Trynna sniff out Phantom." Jeremy shrugs. "Red Hood's been pretty active. Heard he's been wonderin' about Phantom not visitin' the kids last week." 

"Thanks Jeremy. Tell Marigold I said hi." 

"Will do, boss!" 

Once Jeremy left, the other ghosts were swarming Dan like bees. Their eyes glittering with anticipation, excitement, and vengeance. It felt strange for them to pay attention, to follow him. Danny's always felt like the better leader, struggling and suffering in the role yet rising above it all. That was why he was the king now. 

"Alright, let's get to work. Most of these kids have one thing in common. Their skills. Flexible, acrobatic, and have some sort of combat training. Usually in self defence." Dan plugged in the USB into his laptop, projecting the screen on to the tv. "The latest disappearance is Layla Smithson. Fourteen. Gymnast and was sent to take taekwondo classes by her parents. Before that was Evan Chavez. Another gymnast but was also known to get into multiple fights."

"So whoever is takin' the kiddies, they go after the ones with pretty good skills." Ember hummed, turning to Kitty and then nudging her. "You've got anything to say about that?" 

"Well... Maybe." Johnny shrugs too. 

"Ooh! What about that nursery rhyme every Gothamites gets to listen. Y'know. About the court."

Dan frowned. "What court?" 

"The court of owls!" Kitty grinned, "Beware the Court of Owls, that watches all the time, ruling Gotham from a shadowy perch, behind granite and lime. They watch you at your hearth, they watch you in your bed, speak not a whispered word of them or they'll send the Talon for your head." 

"Who the fuck uses that kind of shit for a nursery rhyme?" Dan scowled, but considered the possibility. "Any idea if they're real."

"Very." Johnny warned, "When Kitty and I died, we came back here a couple of times. Explored the place and tried to dig up secrets that would have killed us if we were livin'. One of 'em was the court. A secret society of a bunch off rich bastards."

"Johnny," Dan warned, knowing that something was still being kept from him. 

"There's another thing..." Johnny hesitated but Kitty took his hand and continued. 

Kitty grimaced, "The Court of Owls has a bunch of soldiers. They got this chemical they use on people, turnin’ ‘em into their own assassins. From what me and Johnny dug up a while back, these assassins were trained when they were kids. They call 'em Talons."

Dan wanted to yell, scream. Burn down the cursed with it's cursed bricks. Fuck. Fuck. Was the world always so shitty? 

"You're telling me... There's an entire secret society that uses chemicals to turn children into assassins?" 

Children.... Fucking children. They were weaponizing kids!

Ancients, he might just commit mass genocide again. 

"Alright. Alright. We leave the living people out of this. The court? Their talons? I want all of you prepared. I'm gonna contact Danny to drag Skulker and Wulf's asses here immediately."

Elle grinned, "GRAB AMORPHO TOO! We're gonna need his help if we want to dismantle the court."

The office is vacated quickly, with Elle dragging Ember and Kitty for girl time and Johnny runs off with shadow. Dan is left alone, frustrated at the new information before he does his best to summon his brother, the very annoyed ghost king that appears before him in full royal regalia. 

"A bit busy, Dan. Still tryin' to fight the laughing magician to help with getting rid of the Anti-Ecto Acts. Constantine is running around trying to destroy the GIW now." 

Dan snorted. He knew about John Constantine. The crazy motherfucker who's soul fragments were scattered around and Danny had to deal with the paperwork and mission to collect them all. 

"I know, yeah, sorry. I get that's important. But we've got a situation here."

"What would that be?"

"Secret society of rich fruitloops that are worse than Vlad. They're kidnapping children and making them into brainless assassins."

Immediately, the room grows colder than the far frozen. Danny's eyes are as green as they could ever be, but his pupils were an icy blue that would have made Frostbite shudder. 

"What do you need?"

"Skulker, Wulf, and Amorpho." 

"I'll send them on your way. They'll be here within 3 hours." Danny sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "I'll finish up things on my end to help."

"Sure thing, twerp."

"Fuck you." Fondly. 

"Fuck you too." Affectionately.

"OH! Your revenant was looking for you." 

"THE SEXY RED HOOD WAS LOOKING FOR ME?!" 

It was an entire week of silence. Of Wraith not doing anything at all. Even the rogues felt apprehensive to act on anything after Wraith's new subordinates started popping up to pester them. The reports were the same. Distorted footage, meta-human abilities, and a ridiculous amount of chaos. 

Apparently, Two face has waged war on one of them, named Ember. Riddler was also ready to throw hands with Specter. And then Harley and Ivy were hunting down a couple names Kitty and Johnny 13. Why they were named that, none of them knew. But considering Wraith and Phantom's titles, the entire group was Ghost themed. The majority of Gotham have taken to calling them the Ghosts. 

But then...

"Bruce... Get a look at this." Barbara's voice shook, horrified as she stared at the screen. Majority of the family was already in the cave, preparing to patrol once more. But their eyes were drawn to the screen. They all froze, struggling to fathom what the fuck was it they were looking. 

"Holy shit." 

Everyone was frozen, staring at the clear, untampered screen. 

Bruce sucked in a deep breath, reading the bloody message written on the wall of... He couldn't recognize it properly. "Farewell to the Court of Owls that once watched from their shadowy perch. Their talons covered in the blood of children they once purge. Farewell to their judge, the parliament says goodbye. To Talons, to owls, the ghosts says hi." 

And right beside the message was the hanging body of what Bruce recognized was the Judge of the Court of Owls. 

The Court of was in ruins. 

"Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!" Tim screeched, almost stumbling as he stared at the morbid message. "The Wraith and his ghosts took out the fucking court."

There was a loud rev of an engine, momentarily dragging their attention to Jason who was hurriedly getting of his bike and taking of his helmet. "Fuck, you've already seen it."

"You saw it in real life?! Where the fuck is that? The location is distorted but the entire thing is being broadcasted to the entirety of Gotham." 

"There are two of 'em. That one's on the clocktower."

Barbara snapped her head towards him, "MY clocktower?!" 

"Sorry 'bour that Barbie. But it got the job done for them, all of Gotham know about the court now."

Bruce grimaced, "And the other location?" 

"Arkham... The Talon is the one being hanged up there. The message is shorter: Bye-Bye owls. Shouldn't have messed with the dead." Jason clicked his tongue, "That's either about the fact that the court has been messing with the dead or it's cause Wraith's group is called the Ghosts." 

Jason shook his head, knowing for the fact that he'd have to track down Phantom soon. His eyes turned towards Dick, who stared at the screen as if a burden was just freed from him. Jason thinks it has. 

They had found out about the Court a little while ago, then found out about Dick's situation with them. How the circus he grew up in was one of the facilities that groomed Talons. How Dick was supposed to be recruited as one when his parents died. 

"Dick?" Jason murmured, gently taking Dick's hand. The other man jolted, his domino mask hiding whatever emotions there was in his eyes. 

"Little Wing..." 

"C'mon. Let's go grab some of Alfred's cookies. The rest of the family can deal with this." Jason quickly hurried his older brother out the cave, urging him to change our of his suit. 

Dick, once again, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, struggled to understand that his nightmare that was the Court was finally dead. Most likely slaughtered by the hands of a new crime lord, a rogue that seemed desperate to keep children safe. He held the tea tightly, closing his eyes as Jason sat opposite to him. 

The court was dead. 

Talon was dead. 

"I'm gonna go look for Phantom in a bit." Jason hummed, trying to appear comforting to Dick. 

And the image of the Judge of the court's body hanging from the clocktower flashes in his head again. 

"Jason." Dick whispered, "Get me a meeting with Wraith."

"What?" Jason blinked, "Dickie, no. Wraith might seem like a pretty nice guy with how he's protecting the kids, but he's still..." He paused, "He's still like me." 

"I need to meet him, Jaybird. I need to confirm that the Court is gone for good. He's the only one who can do that for me." 

"Why would Phantom even let you meet him?"

Dick frowned, sucking in a deep breath before taking Jason's hands. 

"Tell him that Nightwing was supposed to be a Talon."

Part 4 | Masterpost

[dimpledcherry]

would you write eddie munson x fem!reader smut?

where eddie’s chilling in his girls‘s room, bored because she’s taking a shower. he’s kinda snoopin’ around & finds a pastel pink book. he’s curious & starts reading it, realizing it’s her diary. he skips to the last page, dated just a few days ago. his eyes widen, not believing what he’s reading about his innocent girl.

sure they had sex. and not that vanilla, too. but he would’ve never thought his girl had thoughts like that. on this very page, his girl wrote her hidden fantasies. things she never even thought of telling eddie, too embarrassed. she’s talking about how she wants to call eddie „daddy“, or be choked, be humiliated to the brim, be filled by his cum till he’s dry, want him to be in complete control. she wants to be fully submitted to him.

before he can put the diary away she comes out of the bathroom, catching him. he confronts her & she tells him how embarrassed she is etc. they talk it out & he reversals that some of the stuff she likes he likes too. then they make out & they try out some of the stuff.

Oh my god you're an evil genius, time I put my 4 years of journaling to good use! - also ive been working on this all week and the 'h' key on my keyboard keeps getting stuck and its making typing no longer fun :/

Written Fantasies

Summary: ^^ the ask Pairing: Eddie x Reader Trigger Warnings: Smut / Embarrassment / hands on throats - no chocking Content Warnings: Diary Reading / blow jobs / impoliteness / shoe frontage / demands / deep throating / reader masturbation

MY EDDIE MASTERLIST BABY!!!!!!!

The space was as recognisable as the back of his hand, and as comforting as his denim vest: lightly coloured walls, cabinets around the room, shelves and counter tops filled trinkets and lifes memorabilia: photos of events, pretty candles, books, small trinkets of days out, wrist bands and broken watches that simply just meant too much.

Things changed every time he entered this space: photos changed frames, boxes gained new records, the cassette piles grew, and the books changed order.

Eddie clocked - while laying on your bed waiting for you to come back from your shower - that not only had the books changed but new ones were added. when he sat up to take a better look: there were 4 books, all identical sat up together leaning on a pile of published books.

The 4 were pink, all the same size, some slightly thicker, one especially thinner. All with individual dates written into their spines: 1983, 1984,1985, 1986. He weren't no idiot, his brain sorted that they were diaries.

He felt a twinge of pride for you to have the left out on display - almost like trophies, proud of your past. He knew a lot about you but you'd seemed to have never told him you wrote a diary. Eddie knew it was standard procedure you don't read people diary: just as you don't snoop in artists sketch books or dungeon masters binders. But who would he be kidding if he said he didn't wanna read it.

He thought a moment, concentrating and recognising the shower was still running. He didn't have to think too much, the boy was running on curiosity alone. Sat up on the edge of your bed, he leant over and pulled 1986 into his hands.

It started with him just flicking the pages: most of it empty; a few loose sheets tucked into the back; a pen clipped to the elastic closer. The filled side of the book was set out meticulously: a yearly planner already almost filled with exams, cheer practice, birthdays, appointments, dates with Eddie, every Tuesday marked with Hideout at 7, every odd Friday marked Hellfire!.

There was this warmness in his heart, knowing his life was just as important to you as it was for him. He believed every I love you, but know he understood every I love you.

He flicked through the book more: budget planners, goal pages, period trackers, and the body. Filled with your typical too-curly-to-read handwriting, every page filled line for line. Some sitting half empty signifying the end of an entry.

Eddie couldn't possibly understand what you had to write about for long that you wouldn't just tell him or your friends.

He found the dog eared page, the scruffily written date marking yesterday. Eddie smiled to himself, feeling a little giddy. He knew he shouldn't but he really couldn't stop himself.

As he read down the page: a recall of your date to the record store and diner, small notes of your gushing over Eddie's chivalry (he always thought holding doors open and little pet names were usual things), a detailed explanation of his outfit and how you loved it (he read that a few times, remember to wear his little thigh harness around you more often.). And as he continued to read, the writting felt less confident, as though there as a topic waited to be hinted at.

He skipped over to the next page and down it, finding a few words grabbing his eyes: touch myself, embarrassing, chocked, him, daddy.

His eyebrows rested in his hairline, eyes almost leaving his skull, the warmth on his checks wasn't imagined. He jumped back a few lines:

Jesus I feel 14 again. I dont know why he does this to me. I see him everyday, and yet im still pinning over him like he's some untouchable deity.

He reads down

We have sex so much but like every night I end up touching myself thinking about- its so embarrassing! I feel like ive been poisoned!! literally none of my friends are like this about their boyfriends!

yeah we all talk about sex but they all have usual sex and normal fantasies but like I feel like a deviant. if I ever told anyone what I really want they'd all look at me so weird

but if I think about sex with him about him all I can think of is his hands and his lips and his voice! and if Im actually honest with myself, all I want is him. I cant stop. ive got into this habit of thinking about him before I go to bed and like every night I touch myself to him.

literally seem like I cant just have him- and I so can but I want so much more!

like if I really thought about it: I'd love him to just use me, do whatever. He could fuck me, make me fuck him, cum in me, chock me, spit on me and I'd be so fucking happy!

Or like, my brain keeps thinking to what if we're fucking and someone hears or we're almost gonna get caught and it turns me on so much! I feel like a pervert.

Eddie felt himself hold his breath.. he was no prude, under his bed was riddled with lost porn mags, he know a lot about kinks and fetishes but something about hearing from you - sweet, quite, calm you- shit! He was getting all flustered.

And like also! keep calling him Daddy in my mind too - I dont know where thats come from but it feels so right! I just really want him to just have his way with me. I dont know how on earth I tell him this. this is so embarrassing.

Eddie was transfixed by your confessions: the sound of the water had slipped his ears. Let alone, he hadn't heard the floor creak and wind chance as you entered the room.

"Jesus babe! You scared me- can't make a guy jump like that!" He yelped, the towel hitting the bed making him jump back into real time.

You laughed at him at first... until your eyes danced around him... and what he had in his hand. You didnt need to ask to know. And almost instantly you felt your body tense, mind go blank and cheek redden. Hands sat in on each other, lips rolled in, eye popping out almost. "Um-"

Confident as ever, he laid back into your pillows, straightening out his legs, "Didn't know you thought like this, Sweetheart.." He started reading, "Kinda want him to fill me until hes dry-"

You leapt onto him - to be honest the word doesn't cut it. You practically jumped on him, trying to grab the book from him but he was swift... dodging your hands artfully as he continued reading. His light and teasing voice was harmonised by your loud commands for him to stop. The room had laughter too: Yours was embarrassment and his was humour.

After a particularly wobbly Eddie! he put the book down, giving you a perfect moment to sling it back onto your cabnit. "Please stop." You frowned.

"Awe sorry baby," He laughed, pulling you down for a cuddle, "It's really hot though." You whined, "It is! Fuck babe," He sighed, "I really didn't think you'd wanna do anything like that!" It surpassed you how he had this ability to never be ashamed or embarrassed about anything. He dipped his head into your neck, "Like being chocked, filled with my cum. fuck, even messy..."

"Shut up!" You leant up, hands flying to his face, coving his mouth and you were straddled to his hips. "I can't believe you- I'm so embarassed!"

"Why?" Earnest and lovie as he moved your hands down.

"You were never meant to find out..."

"Why, you know im into anything?"

"Embarassing."

"No its not."

"yes, it is."

"You know," he started rubbing your thighs, "I'd love to fuck you dumb, fill you up, have you all messy-"

Now you'd be lying if you said he wasn't affecting you- you were embarrassed but so secretly turned on. Your tummy tensed, the blood went to your head, your thighs stiffened. But still your embarrassment was bigger, "Stop making fun of me!"

"Baby baby baby" He cooed, pulling your hands from your face, "I promise i'm really not."

You whined at him, he mimicked you back, pulling you down for a delicate honest kiss. It was deep and slow, him offering his truth to you. And who wouldn't melt into that? His hands now found your hip and your neck, in to your lips his mumbled "Roll over."

You gasp as he rearranges you both, your back now to the bed, "Wanna try something." He sat up continuing, "We can't your little sexual fantasies now-" You squirm in embarrassment, "But" He began stroking your cheek in efforts to pull you out your head. "I wanna try something new.""

He leant down planting a sweet kiss to your lips though you tried to chase him for a second, he was already moving down into your neck, planting even sweeter ones there. You could never stay quiet for his sightly chapped lips and heavy hands - small mewls slipped from you. "Good girl." Quiet, practically breathed from Eddie.

"We can't try the public-people-home stuff, but" another neck kiss, "I do.." another kiss to the other side, "really like the idea" a kiss under your ear, "of having you fully submitted" a kiss to the shell of your ear "to me"

The way you gasp makes Eddie sure he's hit gold with you. As he talks, your hand in his hair pulls and squeezes more, "How about," He moves along to kiss your cheek, "I get you on your knees" Another kiss, "no pillow, because desperate whores don't deserve kind treatment." A light kiss to your lips, "And I let you blow me?" Another kiss, "But" Kiss "I'll be holding your head," He was now resting on his forearms, fingers lost in your hair, "Pushing and pulling you exactly how I want?" Another light kiss met with a hearty pull of your hair, "Fill that little mouth up with my cum."

God you were in heaven - how did you manage to get a boy like him. All you felt you could do was nod at him. A tap of your thigh and you were on the floor kneeling between his legs as he sat on the edge of your bed.

Looking up at him, the shy coy expression fell naturally on you, "Pretty girl, aren't you?" He complimented. "Get on with it then." It was like a switch was flipped.

Excitedly, you get his belt and jeans off. His dick was hard and pretty as ever - not too big but a little wide, a more red tint than the rest of him already bleeding pre cum.

You got personal with it, licking the beed off, replacing it with a kiss. Eddie couldn't help the sigh - you ruin him on the daily no matter what you do. You could get lost playing with his head. He helped by tucking your hair behind your ears, keeping his hands on your lower head and jaw.

The kisses turn into kitten licks met with you looking up at him, his spaced out satisfied look made you smile, "Shit- open your mouth for me."

Sat up a bit more, the head of is cock resting on your lower lip, palms lost behind his calves: you were ready to try something you never thought you'd get to. The hands in your hair pushing you down slowly, and pulled you back up even more delicately - he giving both of you the space to gauge how yous felt.

"Suck it a bit harder" You did. "fuck-you love this, don't you?" You nod.

It was really all he needed - he didn't even need verbal confirmation, just the feel of your nails in the backs of his legs and how your eyes were rolled back and closing was enough, not to mentions the light noises in your throat. He pushed you down with more force, hands now cupping your cheeks and jaw.

He didn't make you deep throat him - neither of you needed to go that far at the moment. The half of his dick that was still straining your jaw send your brains both tumbling.

Eddie yanked you off him with a rough tug to your hair pulling a throat whine out of you, "Shit babe- you're a little slut aren't you?"

You nodded dumbly, "For you- love you."

"I love you too," A thumb stroked your cheek, "Daddy loves you."

Maybe it was the name. Maybe it was the humiliating reminder he had read you diary. Maybe it was the whispering in the empty quiet house. Maybe it was just him. But you were sure he'd just written you off to hell. You felt a beed of slick drop from your cunt.

And Eddie practically felt it too: he could see the haze covering your pretty eyes and the cheeky smile that covered your face.

A thumb toyed with your lip, he continued, "Gotta get you a little collar with my name on it." And with that you basically purred at him. Eddie was sure he was lost in you as you started to barely suck his thumb.

He'd never had you so spaced and floaty. Sure you've both spoken through sex before but nothing like this, nothing so painfully skilled in what the other actually needs to hear. Sex had never felt so possessive until right now.

The sight of you both was like it was from a porno: you, puffy lipped, half lidded eyes and big breaths; Eddie, pointed look, panting, loved up eyes.

The other hand dropped from your cheek and sat around your neck back - the pressure alone made your eyes flutter - and the sight went straight to his dick.

He popped his thumb out your mouth and brung you up for a dirty, messy, deep kiss. No coordination, just lust. Teeth smacking teeth, uncomfortable postures, hands gripping and clawing where ever they could.

He pulled away, standing up as if to leave. But you whine is stopped when you see he leant against your cabinet. Very idolly, he picked up the diary searching for the place he left off on, commanding a "Come here" using his fingers to make a curling motion, not even bothering to look up at you. "Crawl" He sneers almost as you go to get up.

Granted the space wasn't so big so the crawl was more of an awkward on-you-knees- shuffle but boy did that embarrassment climb back up inside you. If this was with anyone else, the pang of embarrassment woulda been too much, but something in Eddies low murmured tone did something totally new to you. "You're a good little pet, aren't you?"

His eyes never left the book in front of him: flicking through pages, scanning for the right sentence. He began reading off again. Completely as though it was the Sunday news paper and not your kinkiest secret fantasies.

"Eddie stop-"

"You know thats not my name." Eyes still in the book, tone stern and cold. You positioned on your claves between his legs, just waiting. "Thought you liked this? I know this isn't as good as being caught but its pretty close, right?" Finally he looks over.

The sudden feeling of something under you made you squirm, "Go on," He continued, "Get yourself off while I read your silly little diary."

The feeling that swelled in your belly was indescribable. It was overwhelming, unignorable and life changing. Like a duckling to its mother, you blindly listened: beginning to slowly rub yourself on the top of his foot.

"Suck my cock too, Sweetheart." He completely disregards you, finally finding his place on the pages. But he didn't start reading until he could feel your lips kiss his cock head.

You try to loose yourself in kissing him and the weight on your tongue but the perching reminder of what he is reading keeps pulling you out. The blood in your ears and the cotton in your brain were getting thicker.

You felt a ring or two pull on the strands of your hair, your gasps causing you to suck his in harder. You felt the rings apply more of a push at certain points of Eddies reading.

It's all sort of too dirty to really feel like its real life. Nobody really experiences this stuff right? Like it's all just movie magic? Clearly not. Clearly somehow you'd hit the jackpot. Somehow in small little irrelevant Hawkins in the mid 80s, you'd met the jack pot.

The sound of a book hitting a surface pulls you from your slack, readjusting yourself back to the present, you felt two hands play with your hair with more intent.

"Fuck-you sure know how to suck a dick, don't you?" He tucked some behind your ear, making you look up at him "Who taught you that?"

"You-da-daddy." Jumbled delivery thanks to the cock in your mouth.

"Sorry couldn't hear you."

"da-daddy" You tried, but sadly coming out more like 'dabby' thanks to the 5 inch obstruction in your throat.

The palms by your ears tighten, "good" It was almost like an extended sigh, "You gonna take it? Tap me if it's too much, yah?" Serious and caring, you nod.

"Yes" You respond to the eyebrow raise, "Yes daddy."

"Good little thing, aren't you?" Another tuck of your hair, and he pulled your head back in opposition to his hips going forward. He was using you clearlessly, not yet pushing you down as deep as he could, but rather just enjoying your lightness.

The room enters a soundtrack of hisses and hums, some slurps and some groans.

"I told you to get yourself off." It wasn't rude but you felt like you were being told off. Your heart pinged in your chest.

It was annoying how good it felt. Yes your knees stung and the carpet has turned into staples but who cared. The hands behind your ears making you deep throat him were heaven, the foot under your clit was heaven, Eddies musky smell was heaven.

Hums and hisses turned into the sound of fabric rubbing and small 'fuck's and 'shit's. And at this rate the streams of dribble coming off your chin and too the floor was definitely anything but disgusting.

Looking up at him and seeing him looking down, heaven too. "Gonna cum in your mouth." You really couldn't help the whorish whine. "Don't swallow it."

Something about that single demand got you were you needed it too. The swelling between your legs seemed to his its peak, the sheen of sweat tripped and your body felt like it was burning. Finger burring into his thighs, tummy tensed: you came over his foot, eyes rolled into the back of your skull.

Eddie using this as the perfect moment to use you. Seeing a moment where you'd given him your everything, he gripped you harder and thrusted deeply into your throat.

Still in your post orgasm haze, the 2 boney hands drag you up by your arm pits, a leg helps keep you stood. "Open." You couldn't even see him at the moment, but you knew behind the black was a man staring at you with all his love.

So you did as he told. Mouth open, cum threatening to spill, "Good, swallow." There was a hand to your throat, and them butterflies danced again. And then there was a light press to your lips that helps bring your eyes back open.

Neither of you could help getting lost a bit in the other - this was a big step, a big new, a good thing too! Eddie broke your moment off and tucked you into his chest, coddling you.

"I love you"

"I-love- you too"

He laughed at your breathiness. "Can we have an actual conversation about this now"

"Gimme a minute- I think my brains all mush."

He laughed again and gave a kiss to your hair.

[tinydefector]

Heyyy again i was the anon who requested for a Jazz smut a while back and im here for more

(this bot need more recognition and I love how you write him!)

anyways i was wondering if you could do another smut fic with him and a cybertronian reader it can be male or gn I don’t mind.

As for kinks maybe the reader dominates him or puts him in his place for acting like a brat? Only if you’re up for it 🩷

Secrets

Jazz x cybertronian reader

Word count : 1.1k

Warnings: smut, valveplug, Sub jazz, slight breeding kink, enermies/ lovers, Brat jazz

Masterlist

Jazz masterlist

______

"Oh look, I've caught myself a spy " they mech hums in amusement. Optics locked on the Autobot spy they had pinned underneath themself. Jazz grinned up at his captor, all easy charm even pinned beneath their bulk. "Aw cher, don' be like that, jus' wanted a lil peek is all. Didn't mean t' stir up trouble." 

He gave an experimental wiggle, testing their hold. Sure enough, their powerful struts don't budge. but he catches the faintest hint of amusement sparkling in their optics. “Yet here you are stirring up more trouble. Your Prime know you're out here?” They inquire. 

" Ain't no fun if he knows im ere?" Jazz tilted his helm, considering the mech above him a lil' closer this time. Strong and loyal to a cause, sure, but anybody worth their bolt had layers. But he also knows their guilty pleasure. They purr in amusement leaning down and tilt their faceplate inches from Jazz’s.  "Snooping through my things again Jazz,  though you learnt your lesson last time " it's just above a whisper as it filters through his audials. that sends a shutter down his frame. Jazz grinned innocently up at the looming mech, enjoying their close scrutiny. "Aw, c'mon - snoopin's in my job description, ya know that sugar." He wiggled teasingly beneath their weight. 

Hes bolder now with his movements, he tilted his hips in a subtle roll. "And if I recall right, last time ended real nice Sweetspark” his visor flashed as his optics flicker under. "Can't blame a mech for wantin' an encore." One hand crept free to trail boldly up their waist "Whaddaya say. play nice and I'll make it worth your time. Got all kinds a' new tricks I been dyin' t'try..." His field pulsed eagerly hoping they would take up the proposal. A little charm and they'd forget all about snoopin' infractions real quick. He relished the chase. but the catch was pretty fraggin' great too.

They are quick grabbing the servo dancing on their hip platting, pinning his arms above his helm roughly, grasping his faceplate with their other. "You're like a scraplet, being a pest in the most inconvenient of places" they muse before pulling him into a kiss.

Jazz made a muffled hum of pleasant surprise against their mouth. He squirmed just enough to test their grip. He hooked one leg around a thick hip strut, tilting wantonly into the kiss. His captor wasn't the only one who liked to tease and he was determined to win this fight. 

When they broke from the kiss, he grins cheekily up at them. "Careful now babydoll, keep kissin' me like that and I'll never want to leave." His fans had kicked on, venting warm and eager against their frame. Jazz rolled his unrestrained hips in a blatant invitation. They let out a deep rumble that builds up in their chassis,  grinding back against him for a moment. grab his hips roughly twisting him and flipping him over, pressing him face down onto the scattered tarps on the ground. "You'd crawl back even if I didn't kiss you, you're like a circuit booster addict" they beam in amusement at how easy he was being. One servo slides down to brush against his interface panel. "Gonna open that panel for me?, or are you going to be a pain in my aft" they hum into his audial receiver. Pressing a kiss to his shoulder plating.

Jazz let out a muffled noise of agreement against the floor, plating warming under caresses. He offered a coy wriggle in response, content for now to deny them access to anything hidden under the panel. Jazz cycles a whined vent as they grind against the panel, he can feel the transfluid basically leaking into the panel, his spike pressed against the plating uncomfortably. They huff lightly before wedging his panel open enough before it releases. "Slaghelm" they grumble to him, pressing two digits into his valve, teasingly slow, dragging another over his flickering node which has him whining into the tarp as his thighs spread wider. "You going to behave pretty mech?, you get rewards when you're good for me Jazz," he can hear the smirk in their voice without even looking at them. 

" ya got me, whatcha gonna do with me, hot stuff?" Jazz purrs, trying to regain some sort of composure only to mew as they shove their digits back into his valve scissoring him open. visor flashed bright as his optics short out with arousal. He arches up with a whine, grinding down on the servo between his thighs. It has him nearly speechless ask he moans, groans and whimpers with each touch. 

"Got you speechless already pretty mech. Didn't know all I had to do was stuff my digits in your valve. You're already dripping " they inform before thrusting their digits in again, watching the way his transfluid drinks down to his node as they tease and rub it. 

They slowly pull their digits out. Spreading Jazz's thighs.  "Primus you're pretty like this Jazz" they hum, interface panel snapping open as they grind their spike against his valve coating it in the pretty pink fluid, the teasing makes Jazz whimper and whine as he grabs the tarps. He tries to turn his helm to watch only for them to press his face back down into the tarp. slowly pressing their Spike into his Valve sinking in with small rolls of their hips. It has Jazz's engine choking and stuttering as if he had stalled. 

They moan loudly as they bottom out in Jazz's tight valve. Grinding deeper as they grip his hips dragging him back onto their spike. "Mmm look at that pretty little autobot spy spread nicely on my spike, might just have to keep you all to myself" they chuckle with a rough thrust.

Jazz couldn't help but let out a muffled keen, the sensation sending waves of pleasure through his systems making his plating shutter in delight. his hips involuntarily moving to meet their thrusts. "Mmm, Frag Cher," Jazz managed to stutter out, his voice overwhelmed with pleasure coursing through his circuits. "Look at you, moaning like a pleasure bot. You like being used as a little frag hole don't you pretty mech" the degrading comment has him clenching around them as their servo wraps around his spike. Each thrust has him rutting into their fist. 

 ", ain't no pleasure bot Sugar!," Jazz quipped, only to arch back into each thrust. A yelp leaves him as they pull him up to rest on his knee plates as they continue to thrust up into him, their servo working his spike as they littler kisses up his neck cables. 

"Mmm think your Prime would be pissed if I fill you tight valve, send you back to the Autobot base dripping my transfluid, mmm bet it be a sight to see, spark you up,  make Prime lose his best field mech" they hum in thought, it was a tempting idea but they both knew it wasn't something either of them could afford. But for now they would just enjoy the secret meetings. 

___________

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[cao-tick]

HOW'S MUTUAL ARE YOU? —i said talking to the goo trying to see if the mosquito brought it here or it was my twin. Or the neighbour bitch.

Fears are so silly sometimes. Not ours, ours are existential.

What’s your greatest fear?

Who the FUCK are y—

That was my first reaction to that very familiar question from a silent visitor like you. Now seriously, I would say pain in general.

Unavoidable pain.

What's yours? :)

[hellsite-detective]

Can you find this post for me?

Like preferably the whole thing with all the reblogs. Thanks so much!!

findin' this post was relatively simple. the first thing i did was went to the first blog in the chain and did some snoopin' around for evidence, filterin' for "some boy aesthetics™" and found the post pretty quickly. i then came back over here to file it away when i realized... there was more to the screenshot. i forgot to scroll down when i began my research.

so i went back to the drawin' board, now lookin' for the LAST address in the chain. but that blog didn't exist anymore. great. so i went to the original file i had and scrolled through the reblogs of that post, filterin' for "yawn" when i stumbled across the post i wanted. the reason it wasn't poppin' up for me was because the username was changed from PESSIMISTICviruoso to OPTIMISTICviruoso. glad to see some change in perspective!

here you are! your post! i hope you enjoy this long list of male positivity! have a great day!

Post Case: Closed

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 3. Joel's House

Please leave comments, I'd love to know your thoughts. And if you feel inclined to reblog, that would be so nice.

Chapter Warnings: cursing, talk of body image, negative comments about body image (not by reader or joel), talk of SA and violence (past), There Will Be Smut, (eventually) Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!Reader Plus Size. F!OC was recommended to me since there's a lot of description of her but I'm writing her as You (Reader) so hopefully you can still imagine yourself. Black hair, glasses, tattoos, big body, wears dark clothes, won't stop talking. Joel is tv show Jackson Joel.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter Summary: You enter Joel's house for the first time and get to know him a little bit.

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the book line divider. :)

Chapter 1 Here Chapter 2 Here

Chapter 3. Joel's House

You finally catch up to Joel as the two of you approach a surprisingly lovely two-story house. Is that a front porch swing? As you get to the door, Joel stops so abruptly you knock into his back. Oh, his back, it’s so big, and he’s taller than you and you smell the pine, musk and vanilla, maybe. And it’s intoxicating. He smells so good. Your eyes flutter closed and breathe him in. You’re startled back to earth by his low, stern drawl, “Look, this is my house and you’re a guest, so no wanderin’ around, no snoopin’, don’t take things that aren’t yours and stay outta my way.” Something about Joel giving you orders makes you feel a slight pull beneath your belly button. Something to unpack later, there. “Aye, aye!” You respond and he does one of his signature sighs, side-eyeing you and finally opens the door.

It's so cozy in here, it’s a home. A real home. There’s a set of stairs just to the right when you walk in the door, and the living room is to the left, a couch that looks more comfortable than anything you’ve slept on in decades. There’s a fireplace and on top a beautiful drawing of a black horse with a mane like your own hair, silky black with streaks of gray. Can Joel draw? No way, maybe Ellie did it. Then you see the little carvings. A moose made of dark mahogany wood; a wolf made of a lighter almost ivory shade. Okay, that’s got Joel written all over it. You don’t know how it’s possible you missed it when you walked in, maybe because it’s so foreign to you now but there’s a TV in the corner of the room on a tv stand. You gasp, holding a hand to your chest, “Does that work?”

When you turn to look at Joel, you realize he’s been watching you intently, observing as you take everything in. And there’s something in his gaze that makes your skin flush, like he’s proud to show this home to you. He shakes his head almost to clear his mind and come back to reality. “Yeah, we have some movies on tape we can watch from the library.” And that’s what does it. You start crying, fat wet tears down your cheeks. You can’t help it. You don’t sob, it’s just water, silently leaking down your face. “Darlin’ hey, you’re okay.” Joel comes to put a hand on your shoulder, and you don’t even realize the pet name he’s just called you, much to his relief. Voice shaky, “I’m sorry, Joel, I don’t know what’s come over me. I just never thought I would see a movie ever again in my life. I know it might seem trivial or whatever, but I went to school for filmmaking and wanted to be a director all my life and before everything, before, this was my life.” You look in his eyes now and again you’re shocked by the fucking depth of emotion they carry. He doesn’t want to show you, but his eyes do it anyway.

“Ain’t nothing trivial about it, Ash. I guess I should tell you the town has weekly movie nights, there’s popcorn and a big screen and everything.” You gasp, the tears have finally stopped, and you wipe them away, and you smack Joel on the arm, “Shut up, Joel, oh my god!” He can’t stop the chuckle that leaves his mouth, “I promise, on my life. This week its Jurassic Park, I just found that one on patrol last week.” “I LOVE JURASSIC PARK.” You’re yelling now. “Alright, alright, we’ll go, its Friday evenin’ – um, 3 days from now, it’s Tuesday, today.” Joel says, smiling just a little. You look at him now, and he looks softer, you think you see the brother of Tommy, the dad to Ellie, and maybe he could be a friend to you. “You’ll go with me?” You ask meekly. Joel shakes his head, smirking a little, “Yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal of it. Now, its late and you’re sure as shit exhausted so head upstairs, your room’s the door on the left. Mine’s on the right, MINE, meanin’ its off limits to you. Maria left you some clothes and things in the room you might need, the showers got towels and everything ya need in there. Get a shower and get some sleep.” You nod, smiling at how he’s taking care of you without even realizing it. He’s such a dad. You walk to the stairs and kick your worn old boots off and leave them by the door. As you make your way up the stairs, you stop and look at Joel, “Thank you.” “It’s nothing,” he replies, not looking at you. “No, Joel,�� you wait till he finally meets your gaze, “you saved my life, and you brought me to heaven on earth as far as I’m concerned...thank you.” His lip ticks up in a grin and you see it, the dimple in his cheek and it takes your breath away. Well, you’re officially fucked. “Get some sleep, Ash.” Your cheeks flush and you continue up the stairs. You’ll do anything to see that dimple again and as many times as possible after.

Warning: talk of body image, negative comments about body image (not by reader or joel), talk of SA and violence (past).

You wake up early the next morning, the sun shining in through the window of your small, incredible, beautiful bedroom. YOUR BEDROOM with a bed and a door and a lock and a window that’s not broken. You slept so well, clean with a full stomach, in the most comfortable bed with sheets and pillows, multiple pillows. Hugging your curves and alleviating your back. You could just lay here for days, but you’re restless and you’re wondering what you did in a past life to end up here like this. You don’t think you deserve it. You sit up and stretch, the sleep shirt you’re wearing revealing your plush tummy, you grab for your trusty glasses on the nightstand and your shorts that ride up on your thick thighs and round ass. Even in the apocalypse with little food and a lot of walking, you’ve held onto your weight for the most part. Thicker than most others. Some strange phenomena. People you’ve run into during your journey over the last 20 years have questioned it. Accused you of stealing food, being lazy around the Nashville QZ. Men in the QZ ogling you, their wives or girlfriends blaming you, calling you a slut. Busting your lip open with their fists after catching you in an alley alone. Raiders telling you they haven’t seen a woman like you in years, calling you a fat bitch while assaulting you. But you never turned that in on yourself, you were happy with your body, she kept you alive. She survived everything. Your mind on the other hand…well that’s a different story.

You decide that there is something you can do to try and balance the scales. It’s not much but everyone loves breakfast, right? So, you pad down to the kitchen and start cooking, eggs and bacon. They have bacon here. Are you dead? Is this even real? You even see a loaf of sourdough bread, okay you’re making toast, obviously. You get to work and soon you notice Ellie and Joel come in from different sides of the kitchen. Oh Joel. He’s in flannel pajama pants that ride low on his hips and a thin t-shirt that strains to keep from tearing on his beautiful biceps. You thought maybe you made it up, maybe you were sleep deprived and starving and your eyes tricked you. No, nope, he really is incredible. “MMMMMM, hell yes, breakfast!” Ellie exclaims as she goes to pour herself some juice from the fridge. Joel grunts, “Who said you could go through the fridge and start cookin’.” You look at him with guilt in your eyes about to apologize when Ellie saves you, “Oh, stuff it, old man, she made you breakfast, say thank you, mind your manners. Isn’t that always what you tell me?” She winks at you, and you bite back the smile on your face. “Uh, thank you.” Joel coughs out. “Okay, sit down you two, I just have to plate the eggs and we’ll be – FUCK!” You scream as you grab the piping hot handle of the pan the eggs are sizzling in. Clanging it back on the stovetop.

In a flash, Joel is at your side, holding your left wrist and looking at the long red burn mark on your palm. He walks you over to the sink and turns on the tap of cold water, placing your burning palm underneath the stream. “It’s okay,” he coos, as you audibly wince, “You gotta keep it under here for a good long while to help keep it from scarrin’ too bad.” You’re not looking at your hand anymore, you’re looking at Joel. “How do you know that?” you ask timidly. He doesn’t take his eyes or his hand off your injured one, “Parents pick that kind of stuff up.” And you know he’s not referring to Ellie, but you don’t press. Speaking of Ellie, she’s got a huge, stupid grin on her face watching this interaction while scarfing down bacon. Still quiet you say only to Joel, “I haven’t cooked in two decades, I forgot the handle heats up.” He finally finds your eyes not expecting you to be looking right into his, he startles like a wild animal and drops your wrist. You instantly become colder without his touch.

He speaks, gruff and a bit louder now, “Well, watch it next time and go sit down, I’ll get the eggs.” You sit down at the table next to Ellie in what will soon become your designated seat, and Joel comes to sit beside you after dolling out the eggs. Ellie makes to grab your wrist, slowly, making sure you’re okay with it, “Can I see?” You nod and hold out your burned palm, “EWWW, its gonna scab, and then its gonna peel, can I see it when it starts to peel?” Joel about to take a bite of the eggs, “Ellie, can you not, tryin’ ta eat here. Ugh.” Ellie starts to giggle and so do you. Then you hear Joel moan, and you look over to see his eyes closed and notice he’s savoring the eggs you cooked him. You try to contain your squeak of excitement but fail and his eyes flick open to you like he’s been caught. “Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you, you make way better eggs than me, and no shells, good job.” Ellie watches you as you smile into your glass of water and Joel as he smirks just a little showing his dimple and she starts placing bets in her head on which one of you is going to fold first.

[lloverrdenn]

Title: Five days with your crush as your roomate.

Author: Denn/dennpooll.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A STORY WHERE IT'S CHOSO X GENDER NEUTRAL READER!! THIS STORY IS FRIENDS TO LOVERS.

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Backstory:

You and Choso Kamo have been best friends for as long as you can remember. He loved you because you weren't like other people, you stood out, somehow, in some way. He always had a soft spot for you, you noticed whenever you were around, he tried to impress you by doing cool tricks with his blood manipulation technique, now this piqued your interest, you'd bring it up but he'd brush it off, thinking it was a joke and he'd play along. You couldn't help but notice the twinkle in his eye when you walked past, or even the way he acted around you. Also, you guys were in college by now, and fortunately, you guys were roomates! This'd be fun, right? Also, in this story, Choso is technically a curse, so nothing really changes. The dorm room you and Choso shared was fairly big, a kitchen, two bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (one in your bedroom, one in Choso's bedroom and one near the living room) and a living room. The design was modern yet plain and simple. Choso's room was filled with posters and different type of merch from rock bands (I also headcannon him to listen to Nirvana..) But yeah, his room was cozy, yours was simple but, it just layed in the corner of your room. Your room was just like an ordinary room, of course.

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The first day of living with Choso.

You just hopped out of the shower, in only your towel because you had forgotten your clothes, you placed your hand on the metal bathroom door handle and swung it open, your eyes widening as you see Choso in your room, seriously!? What was he doing in YOUR room? And he knew damn well you were showering so he thought you had been changing. You tried to speak, but no words came out, you swallowed the lump in your throat and wished that Choso wouldn't turn around. Choso turns around, of course he had to, he seemed just as surprised as you are, his jaw hanging open at the sight of your bare body wet, your hair soaking wet too. His cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and he stammered "I'm sorry, Y/N, I didn't know you were here- sorry. I was about to uh, leave.." He managed to blurt out, his mouth as dry as a desert, his heart thumping faster than light, his body heating up and a shiver running down his spine, he reluctantly averted his gaze, a strand of his black hair falling onto his face. You chuckled and brushed it off, trying so hard not to blush "Yeah, no worries, it's chill." You said bluntly, smiling and walking out your bathroom "Ah, but.. I would appreciate if you'd leave my room, I need to change. Did you need somethin'? Or are ya snoopin' around like usual, hmm?" You added, narrowing your eyes playfully. Choso shook his head and left your room, closing the door behind him, there was a moment of silence before you started changing.

Time skip: one day later! (Day two!!)

It was a warm, sunny day, you were wearing a pair of baggy jorts, Converse shoes, Your low frame glasses, and a baggy, short sleeved, red T-shirt that had a basketball number on it and a bracelet that was plain black. You also had a spider necklace and your hair was styled normally. Choso was wearing a nirvana black hoodie and black sweatpants, his bluetooth headphones that were a shade of grey rested on his neck, and he had slippers on, because he was planning to stay in the dorm. You, however, were gonna have a night out with your friends. You invited Choso, but, he didn't wanna come, you practically pleaded him, but, he didn't agree. You looked at yourself in the mirror and sprayed on your perfume. You suddenly almost jumped at your phone buzzing with a notification, snapping you out of your trance. You let out a sigh of relief when you realized it was your best friend.

your best friend (messaging you): "Yo, what's good? So, I was gonna pick you and the others up in 30 mins, how does that sound?"

You smiled as your fingers glided across your phone keyboard, texting him back, the message read:

Y/N (responding to their best friend): "Yeah, no problem, can't wait <33 See ya there."

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Time skip to 3am

So anyway, your night out with your friends was amazing. You enjoyed it so much. And, well, since you were above 18 and allowed to drink.. Let's say, you had a bit too much to drink, you stumbled into the college, barely making it to yours and Choso's dorm room, as you gently knocked on the door, intoxicated with wine and whatever other drinks you were drinking "Choso.." You called out, your hair messy and clothes untidy, it was clear you were drunk, you smelled like an alcoholic parent at this point, and looked like one "Choso, man open-" you were cut off by the door swinging open. Choso in his pajamas on the other side, he looked like he was sleeping.

"Did you drink? Also, where the hell have you been.. It's like.. 3am, shit, are you okay?" Choso replies and steps aside to let you in, his annoyance fading away "Yeah.. I.. I'm sorry, honestly.. I had no idea it was THIS late." you replied as you walked in, hell, you couldn't even walk. You wobbled alot, just then.. Choso placed his hands on your waist, walking you to your room. "Hey- where are we going?" You asked, damn, you were clueless. "Are we going to eat? I'm hungry.." You asked bluntly. Choso internally facepalmed and he opened your door, putting you in your bed and tucking you in. You smiled up at him "Where's my smooch?" You asked with a smirk, your tone was drunken. "F*ck off," Choso said, chuckling "Good night, love." He added on flirtatiously. Your eyes widened and you stammered "Good night, emo boy." You said with a wink, and Choso giggled as he exited, your door closing behind him.

The next dayᥫ᭡ (day 3)

The sunshine shone beautifully through your curtains as morning rose up, the sound of birds chirping filling your ears as you woke up, you sat up in your bed, yawning and stretching. "Ahhh, shit- I had the best sleep of my entire life! Wooohooo today is gonna be a good day, I know it." You said to yourself, with a smile plastered on your morning face. The day went on as usual, you attended your classes with Choso and you caught him staring at you subconsciously. You were writing your notes down when suddenly.. A note came flying at you, and landing on your desk infront of you.. Your eyes widened and you picked the note up and opened it slowly. You smirked when you saw it was from Choso.. But your heart stopped when you read the note fully. The note read:

"You look amazing, y/n."

You internally cursed yourself for being so affected over such a small compliment. Compliments were nothing new, of course.. But from Choso? They felt different.. Even if it was simple, you just couldn't deny you liked it, just when you were in your trans, you were snapped out of it by your dumb bully. "Oi, gimme money." You bully asked coldly "I don't have any, sorry." You replied simply and the bully scoffed and walked away, you were about to get up when Choso approached your desk "Hey, uh, Y/N.. I wanted to ask if you wanna go out with me.. I mean, as friends.. We've been friends since kindergarten and.. It'd mean a lot to me!" Choso asked, with a nervous smile and his cheeks tinted a light shade of pink. He felt a rush of excitement rush through him. "Yeah, why not?" You replied, with a warm smile. You felt your body heating up, you felt amazed and admired by Choso.. And.. Also another feeling you felt towards him that you couldn't quite place a finger on, but, judging by this, we all know what feeling it is by now. Later the night, you dressed up good for going out, and, so did Choso. Choso wore just 2000s style, and he looked good. Better than you'd admit, but hey, we were all at that stage once, afraid to say too little or too less, he'd understand, right?

At the restaurant.

Choso smiled at you as you ate your dinner. You paused and swallowed your food, quirking an eyebrow up and smirking "Got a staring problem, creep?" You asked jokingly. "Who could blame me for admiring a masterpiece. I don't know who's more blessed, you by your beauty or me for meeting you." Choso replied sincerely. You almost choked on air. You just chuckled nervously. The night was enjoyable, but the tension was undeniable. Later that night, you laid in your bed, cuddling your pillow, fantasizing of Choso.

Day 4 ✰

Choso had been watching you more intently, like a Hawk, almost, it made you concerned.. But later you eventually forgot about it, until Choso came up to you and he said this.. "You look really nice today.." Choso said, avoiding your gaze. You hummed in response, smiling and then saying "Ah, so that's why you couldn't keep your pretty eyes off of me?" You replied, smirking and leaning in, both yours and Choso's body mere inches apart, Choso's breath hitting on your skin and tickling your skin accidentally which made you shiver. You reluctantly leaned back and Choso cleared his throat "I should go to my room." Choso said nervously as he walked back to his room. You just chuckled at his nervousness, your heart beating in anticipation. You felt desired to be with Choso, no, infact you NEEDED to be with that man. Choso kept his eye on you for the past day, he interacted with you and helped you out with chores, being a good roomate.

Later, you were writing in your diary about Choso.. And uh, you had a phase where you liked one of your friends, and you wrote about it several times in your diary, and it was this year too. You groaned in frustration and giggled "What was I doing? How did I even like that person?" You said under your breath, closing your diary and placing it on your bedside table, before switching your bed side lamp off. You put your phone off, and got under the silky, soft warm covers of your bed, letting out a hum of satisfaction and comfort as you drifted into deep slumber. The faint sounds of owls and the leaves of the trees outside brushing against each other. It was calming, really calming.

Day 5: the final day ᥫ᭡

Choso had found your diary while you were out on a walk, but instead of him finding the stuff you wrote about him, where you said how much you loved him, unfortunately, he found the the notes about the other crush of yours, which, he was unaware that you didn't like any more. He was hurt, angry and confused, who was this person? Who is this friend? Are you trying to replace Choso? Or.. Is Choso a replacement for this crush because they didn't like you back? Does Choso mean anything to you? Do you even love him? Choso thought to himself, he cursed himself internally for being so affected by a diary, a mere diary. But he was going to confront you, and little did you both know, it'd get really messy. I mean, because it was YOUR diary and YOUR emotions, it was YOUR privacy that needed to be respected.

When you came back, you closed the door leading to your shared dorm room with Choso, but then when you fully turned around, a book was thrown at you, you yelped and just managed to catch it before it hit you in the face. You saw it was your diary.. "What the hell!?" You exclaimed..

"I could say the same thing, who's that person in your book that you like?" Choso replied. "Oh my friend? I don't like them anymore." You replied calmly. "Uh huh, just a friend, yknow what? Your not Adrien from that miraculous ladybug show or whatever. And I'm not dumb. Get out of here with your bullshit." Choso said coldly as he scowled. "The hell you scowling for? Are you a dog or some typa animal? Because your hair looks like a porcupine. Anyway, why are you so touched? You can't be THAT insecure, gosh." You said with a smirk, holding back from slapping the shit outta this emo ass mf. "Do you still like that low life friend of yours? Be honest." Choso asked through gritted teeth, his fists clenched to his side, and his knuckles turning white. "No." You replied truthfully..

"Bullshit!" Choso shouted furiously. "I'm telling the truth." You replied. "Oh yeah? Who do you like then?" Choso asked, clearly pissed off. "I like you Choso, no I love you, I loved you since we met in kindergarten, I love every second we spend together. I love every time you look at me. Everytime we speak." You admitted.. And Choso, his eyes were wide, fists unclenched, shocked, genuinely surprised and caught off guard, he was speechless. But.. He was happy. You just walked away, he wanted to stop you and tell you how he felt, but he couldn't move or even speak.. He was so overwhelmed and watched as the door to your room shut close as you entered your room, your diary at Choso's feet. He looked down, a pang of guilt hitting him like a ton of bricks.

Later that night.

Choso entered your room and sat on the edge of your bed, you sat up and looked at him, he held you close, you were now in Choso's arms. His arms wrapped around your waist and yours wrapped around his neck, confused. He took his hands off of you and got you on his lap, you were straddling his lap, your face mere inches away from his. Your breath hitched.

"I love you, Y/N. I always have, I didn't say anything because I'm scared of rejection. You are my world. No one ever made me feel so loved, you bright up my world. You are like food and water in my life, I need you, without you, I cannot survive. You shine bright like a star.. I love the way your always so kind and thoughtful, your playful jabs you throw at me. You are stunning, I don't care about looks. I always go for a good heart instead of good looks, but, you have both. I am more than blessed to have you, I sincerely apologize for my actions earlier, yes, I am insecure. I want you to be mine.. And only if you want, I only want what's best for you, I am happy if you are. I will protect and cherish you." Choso said genuinely, his gaze filled with love and admiration for you. You closed your eyes and leaned in, kissing Choso, both you and Choso's soft lips dancing together, a passionate dance, full of genuine love, your arms wrapped around his neck, leaning into him, his hands gripping your hips, you pulled back and smiled "I love you Choso.. I always will love you." You said, getting slightly emotional, you were the happiest human alive. "I love you too, y/n." Choso said with a small smile, blushing as he looked up at you, the way you straddled his lap, his eyes twinkled.

The end.

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(Edit: It's 5am rn and I'm tired, so I'm genuinely sorry if there's mistakes, but yeah, I hope y'all enjoyed, good night my lovely people, have a good night/day ᥫ᭡)

[aurorawritestoescape]

A Villain’s Monologue

Pairing: serial killer!Joel Miller x f!reader

18+ DEAD DOVE!!! Heed the warnings!

Tw: dead dove, non-con, allusions to smut, mentions of SA, mentions of death, bondage, gagging, swearing

Word count: 650

A/n: if you’re sensitive to any of the warnings, do not read the fic! I don’t condone the actions of the character. It is all fictional!

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Silly girl… You really thought you’d be the one to get me? Have some balls on you; I’ll give you that. Sneakin’ into my home like that... snoopin’ around. What were you tryin’ to find, Nancy Drew? Some kind of evidence—an earring, a set of teeth?? Haha... I’d never keep anythin’ like that. I’m not dumb! Been doing it for what now? Hmm, 7 years? Haven’t been caught. Not even suspected…

Oh! A cop came over once to ask about that girl. What was her name? Melissa, Melody? Fuck it, doesn’t matter. Real pretty, gave it to her good. She was beggin’ me to fuck her. Yeah, choke me, daddy! She’d been enjoying herself, for sure. Well… until…

And that cop...See, I’m Joel fuckin’ Miller! A single dad, thanks to that bitch! A workin’ man, always charmin’, nice. I showed all my concern! No, officer, I haven’t seen her around. Yes, of course I’ll join the search party. Damn it was fun being the only one to know we’d never find her in those woods.

And you, baby. Ugh! How long have you been suspecting me? Sorry, forgot you’re gagged. I bet it’s since that night. Did you hear her scream? Right? Nod if I’m right, slut?! Yeah, that bitch was loud. It’s a pity you couldn’t just forget about it. Look the other way. Began stalking me, got so fuckin’ close! I’m the one who stalks, sweetheart.

Remember that night when I caught you in the alley behind the bar. Were you followin’ me and that chick? Did you think I was gonna…? Nah, she had similar hair to Her, but… somethin’ was off. Lost interest. But you! Fuck, you were hot. Scared shitless. Did you think I was gonna kill you? Strangle, like all of them? No. You look nothing like her. You were safe. Well…woulda been safe if you hadn’t begun your sleuthin’.

A pity, really. Been such a good playthin' for daddy. That first time. Your heart was beatin’ so fast, like a little bird’s, flutterin’ under my fingers. Felt it when I was gropin’ your tits. Hell, I love ‘em. Look at you! Tied up and helpless. Want me to play with your tits? If I just slide my dick between them like this, shhh! Sit still! I’m sure I could come just fuckin' your boobs, sweetheart. My cum on your beautiful face. Here. I’ll make you eat it all up, every drop. Shhh, stop flinchin’! Don’t be shy on me all of a sudden.

You’re such a slut. Came all over my cock in that dark alley. Your neighbour, your dad’s friend, made you moan like a filthy whore. Still can see my cock slidin’ in and out of your tight cunt. Ah, the sounds! Fuck, you were so wet. You bitches are always so wet for me.

But you just had to go and ruin all of it. Have you been snoopin’ around for a long time? Since you started comin’ here, so I’d fuck you? Began noticing it. You’d ask hella weird questions. What do you have in the basement, Joel? Where do you go after work, Joel? Haha. Cute. I thought, "Well, even if you suspect somethin’. You have nothin’ on me.” Just your pretty mouth on my dick. Haha… You give a mean blowie baby. Pity really.

Today you really pissed me off. Breakin’ in like that? What if Sarah were here?! You’d scare her to death! I should’ve dealt with you the moment I found you in my bedroom. Well… maybe it’s for the best… Should daddy play with you one last time? Your last time… yeah, I’ll bend you over that table, ruin your little hole. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure you come and soak my dick real good. Gagged, tied up—just how I like you, sluts. Promise you, you’ll enjoy your last minutes.

Thank you for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[vintageshanny]

Play Something for Me

Writing Prompt: Army Elvis

Content: oral sex, sexual conduct in a church, lonely Elvis in Germany, 18+

Thank you to these amazing ladies @thatbanditqueen @whositmcwhatsit @missmaywemeetagain @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @from-memphis-with-love @powerofelvis for always encouraging me and for inspiring me with their writing and their horny fantasies love of Elvis.

“Mom!  Mom!  Is this you?” Ruby looked up from chopping carrots as her eleven-year-old daughter Ella burst into the kitchen excitedly.  “This looks just like old pictures of you!” she continued in amazement, shoving the magazine in Ruby’s face.  “What is this?” Ruby murmured as she saw the image, her heart beginning to race as memories came instantly flooding back.  “It’s a fan magazine, mom,” Ella said with exasperation.  “It’s all about Elvis’ new Aloha special, but there’s this section of old pictures.  This one is of fans standing outside his house in Germany,” she explained.  “Why does this girl look just like you?”  Ruby gazed at the black and white photo of her 18-year-old self, her hands still clutching the knife and a carrot.  “That is me, honey,” she said as calmly as possible, trying to keep the tremor of emotion out of her voice.  “What?!  You were in Germany at the same time as Elvis?  Standing outside his house?  And you never told me? Did you see him?  Did you talk to him?  Was he as beautiful in person?”  Ella’s questions came pouring out in a torrent of words.  Ruby tried to focus on what Ella was asking as the entire experience played through her mind in an instant.  

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“Hey, you!” Ruby shouted as the tall slim figure finished scaling the fence and dropped down in front of her.  “Jesus Christ, lil’ girl, ya sc-sc-scared me,” he stuttered as he put a hand in front of his eyes, attempting to shield himself from the bright light of Ruby’s flashlight.  Her jaw dropped as the light shone fully on his face.  “It’s - it’s you!” she squeaked out, her face turning bright red as her eyes looked him up and down.  “Shh!  Yeah, i-i-it’s me, now don’t alert the attack dogs,” he said, nodding toward the front of the house where throngs of fans were still on the lookout for a glimpse of their beloved idol.  “That’s quite the way to talk about your fans,” Ruby mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed about being just another annoying fan to him.  “Aw, honey, that wasn’t directed at you,” Elvis teased.  “You were obviously jus’ snoopin’ around my house with a big ol’ flashlight for some completely innocent reason, right?”  Ruby could feel her cheeks burning as Elvis looked her up and down appraisingly.  “Actually,” she said defensively, “I heard something and thought it might be an intruder.  I was trying to protect you.”  The corner of Elvis’ mouth went up in a crooked little grin.  “That’s mighty sweet of ya, honey,” he spoke in a low voice, making her shiver with some kind of strange energy.  “But I don’t need no protectin’, I was jus’ sneakin’ out for a little walk.”  “Alone?” Ruby asked before realizing how rude and nosy that sounded.  She was glad for the darkness that somewhat covered up her constant blushing.  “Not anymore,” Elvis said as he headed off toward a path around the back of the house.  “You comin’?” he called over his shoulder.  Ruby hurried to catch up with his long strides.

Once Elvis knew he was safe from the crowd, his gait slowed a little bit.  Ruby settled into the more comfortable pace beside him.  “So why are you trying to escape from all those people who love you so much?” Ruby asked, her voice cutting through the silence.  “I-I-I’m not tryin’ to escape, I jus’ needed a little time away, and I didn’t want ‘em to think I was ignorin’ ‘em.  I-I-I didn’t want to let anyone down,” his voice was close to a whisper by the end, and Ruby noted with delight how cute his nervous little stutter was.  “I don’t think you could disappoint anyone,” Ruby declared, feeling her face flush yet again.  “Oh, I could, honey.  Y’see, all those people love Elvis Presley, but they don’t really know me.  I ain’t without faults, y’know.”  The way his eyes bore into her body, Ruby felt that maybe he was talking about one fault in particular.  “Well, everybody has faults, but people still love each other,” she pointed out.  Elvis smiled at that.  “I s’pose you’re right.  That’s mighty smart of you, Miss - what’s your name, honey?”  “It’s Ruby,” she answered, nervously looking down as Elvis stopped walking right under the glow of the streetlight.  “Ruby.  That’s a perfect name for you, honey,” he said with a grin.  “Oh?  Why’s that?” Ruby questioned.  “Cuz you’re beautiful.  And your face gets red as a ruby every time I look at ya,” he said teasingly.  “It does not!” Ruby protested, even as she felt her face burning up with humiliation.  She swatted at his arm, but he caught her hand and pulled her in close.  “Aw, Ruby honey, I think it’s cute,” he said leaning down toward her face.  Before she knew what was happening, his sweet soft lips were smushed against hers.  She couldn’t stop a gentle gasp from escaping, and his tongue slipped into her mouth.  Elvis cradled the back of her neck with one hand, the other clasped tight against the side of her breast as he continued the passionate kiss.  When he finally pulled back, he smiled at the blissful look on her face.  “That felt really nice,” Ruby whispered, her eyes still closed.  “It sure did, honey,” Elvis continued walking, this time holding her hand in his.  

“So what are ya doin’ in Germany, honey?  I know ya ain’t from here because you’re one of the only girls who can understand what I’m sayin’,” Elvis joked.  “Oh, my father is stationed here for work, but we’re actually moving back to the States in three days,” Ruby explained.  “Oh, I see, ya just came to cast your spell on me before takin’ off, huh?” he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.  “Well, I really wanted to meet you before I left.  I’ve always loved your music and, um, you’re just so handsome, too,” she whispered.  She was surprised to see it was Elvis’ turn to blush at that.  “Well, I-I-I hope you still love it when this two years is over,” he said.  “Oh, I’ll always love you.  Your music, I mean,” Ruby quickly corrected.  Elvis chuckled.  “I’m glad ta hear it honey.  I-I-It’s been kind of a rough time for me lately, so it’s nice to hear someone loves me.  My music, I mean,” he teased as he gave her hand a playful squeeze.

“What’s this place here?” Elvis asked, motioning to the building they were walking toward.  “Oh, this is St. Bonifatius, the Catholic church,” Ruby explained.  “I like the windows,” Elvis said, eyeing the stained glass that glittered a little bit under the streetlights.  “Do you want to go in and look around?  The churches usually stay open for people to go in and pray.”  Elvis nodded, and the two of them walked through the door into the vestibule.  Elvis peeked into the church and glanced around at the empty pews. “I guess it’s just us in here, honey,” he announced, sounding relieved.  “Oh, there’s a nice piano!” he exclaimed, walking up toward the altar.  “Would you maybe play me something please?” Ruby asked with a smile.  “Well, since ya asked so sweetly, I’ll play something for my little red Ruby,” Elvis sat down at the piano bench, his long legs spread apart.  

Ruby stood next to the piano and watched as Elvis began to run his fingers over the keys, launching into “If I Loved You.”  She couldn’t take her eyes off of him as his performance became more passionate, his eyes closing.  “Oh!” Ruby gasped as her eyes dropped to his lap and she saw that his passion was not contained to the piano playing.  Elvis heard her gasp and opened his eyes, following her gaze down to where Little Elvis was trying to put on his own performance, straining against the pants that held him down.  His fingers paused, hovering over the keys nervously.  “I-I-I’m sorry, honey, I-I-I just get so e-e-excited performing sometimes that I, I mean, it’s, um,” Elvis nervously stumbled over his explanation.  “Elvis, it’s okay,” Ruby said, stepping closer.  “Just keep playing.  I can help you,” she whispered as she lowered herself in between his legs.  “Y-y-you’re gonna help me?  In here?” Elvis looked around.  “You said yourself, it’s just us in here,” Ruby said softly, reaching to unzip his pants.  “But honey, you don’t gotta-”  “Shh,” Ruby interrupted gently, “I just want to make you feel better.”  She was surprised at her own forwardness, but something about him just made her want to please him. She pulled his hard cock out and started stroking it with her hand. She liked how firm and warm it felt as the skin moved up and down. She had never seen a man’s private parts before, but she’d heard gossip from her friends about what you were supposed to do with it. “Play something for me,” she requested, not wanting him to notice her inexperience. “Oh, oh, okay,” Elvis moaned in answer as Ruby leaned in and touched her tongue to the tip of his cock.  Elvis tried to focus on the keys under his fingers as Ruby’s warm mouth enveloped him completely.  

Ruby glanced up from where she was clumsily sliding her tongue all over Elvis’ cock.  She had no idea what she was doing, but Elvis didn’t seem to mind.  He was now playing what sounded like totally random chords as his head was tilted back, his breath coming out in moans and pants.  She slid her mouth down further, trying to see if she could fit all of him inside.  As she sucked her way back up to the tip, Elvis stopped playing completely and moaned out, “Oh God, Ruby, I-I-I can’t take it anymore.  I’m g-g-gonna cum.”  His hips thrust up a little bit as something warm and thick filled her mouth.  It tasted different, but there was nowhere to go with it, so she swallowed it down.  Elvis looked down at her with a smile that warmed her heart.  “Why’d you stop playing?” Ruby asked with a grin.  “Oh I don’ know honey, you were makin’ me sing instead,” Elvis laughed.  “You had me singing Alleluia in here.”  As he tucked his cock back into his pants, he started laughing harder at his joke.  “At least we’re in the right place for it though!”  The sound of his hiccupping laughter made Ruby start giggling too until both of them were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes. 

“Oh honey, I needed that so much,” Elvis pulled Ruby up onto his lap on the bench and kissed her lips softly.  “I’ve, um, never done that before,” Ruby admitted shyly.  Elvis smiled and nuzzled his nose against her cheek.  “I thought that might be the case.”  “Oh,” Ruby replied nervously.  “Was it not very good?”  “Naw, honey, it was perfect, I loved it.  Made me feel like I must be doin’ somethin’ right to earn that from you,” he whispered in her ear.  “Well, I just think you’re really something special, and I wanted to give you something to remember me by,” Ruby said, running her fingers over the collar of his shirt.  “Oh, Ruby honey, trust me, this is something I won’t ever forget.  You gave me some, uh, comfort in a very tryin' time,” he smiled.

After Elvis walked her home, Ruby asked “Are you sure you won’t forget me?”  “Never, honey," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I’ll find a way ta let ya know how special this was ta me,” he smiled and gave her another sweet kiss before turning and heading back to his house, hoping he could find a way to hold onto the happiness Ruby had made him feel in the midst of all this loneliness.  

************************************************************************

“Mom!  Mom!  Are you listening to me?” Ella’s voice cut through the memories Ruby had hidden away for fifteen years.  “There’s this interview here where they’re asking him about his career and stuff.  They asked what he liked best about being in Germany, and he said there was this beautiful church where he got to play the piano and it brought him so much happiness when he was sad.  Isn’t that cool?  What if you walked into church and Elvis Presley was playing the piano?”  Ella rambled on as Ruby's breath caught in her throat.  Elvis’ words played back in her mind.  “I’ll find a way ta let ya know how special this was ta me.”  Ruby quickly wiped away a tear as Ella continued.  “You’re not answering me, mom!  Did you ever get to see him?”  Ruby smiled and decided to tell the truth in the simplest and most appropriate way she could.  “I only got a glimpse of him, but he was even more beautiful in person.”

[darlingsfandom]

Little Lamb, part 2.

AU: Priest Cillian x Fem Reader!

Father Murphy x Fem Reader!

Warnings: Religious Themes, violence ! Allusion to smut .

It had been over two months since you and father Murphy had declared your love for each other. You were careful to keep it down low because as much as you two love each other both of you knew how much it would probably upset the church.

"Darlin, I'm sorry to disturb you but can ya come here for a second?" Father Murphy had pulled you from your work in the kitchen to the hallway. You wiped your hands on your apron before following him.

"What can I do for you father?"

"I just missed ya." His lips curved into a smile before cupping your face into his warm hands and placing his lips upon yours. Your hands wrapped around his waist while smiling in between kisses, he pushed your back into the wall while moving his lips feverishly against yours.

"Father..." your breath hitched when his lips sucked on your neck behind your ear. "We can't, not now!" Father Murphy stopped in his tracks and held your hips. "I want to Father, but I have baked goods in the oven for the church bake sale tomorrow after service and plus there's others setting up in the gym! You know I love you. I thought you wanted to be quiet about this unless you think we're ready." Your eyes went soft as your fingers trailed up and down on the buttons of his shirt until you ran your finger around his collar giving him a devilish smile. He loved how your innocence for him portrayed forward when he knew deep down that you were no saint.

"I tink tis time to tell 'em. I don't want another day to go by where I have ta hide tis." Father Murphy grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight before bringing it to his lips to place a gentle skin about it. "Tomorrow, we will tell 'em darlin." You smiled ear to ear before he gave you a kiss to send you back into the kitchen.

After you were all done in the kitchen and cleaned up, you went to the basement that you were now living in with Father Murphy. He was down there already fixing the sheets on the bed when you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He turned his neck slightly to look at you with a grin. "Hello darlin!" He kissed your forehead. Your hands ran over his chest slowly before he pulled you around and in front of him.

"I've been thinking... Cillian.." The devilish look on your face appeared when you spoke his real name and he loved it.

"Wat have ya been thinkin about darlin?"

"Marriage!"

"Ya want to get married?" His fingers trailed along your jawline so he could tilt your head up by your chin and look into your eyes.

"I do! I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Your hand went over his heart. He straightened up before the hard expression he was trying to maintain broke.

"Have ya been snoopin in me office darlin?"

"No! I'm being serious Cillian! I want to be your wife."

"I know ya do darlin! Come with me." His fingers laced into yours as he took you back into the office that you've known for years. Father Murphy dug through the desk drawer and pulled out a little black box.

"Now I know I said we'd tell ta congregation tomorrow tat we're together, but..." Cillian got down on his knee in front of while opening the little black box to show you a small ring with a little green stone wrapped around a silver band. "It's not a fancy ring, but will ya marry me darlin?" His eyes searched yours as your fingers wiped away your tears.

"Yes Cillian! Yes!" You stood still as the tears ran down your cheeks. Cillian took the ring and slid it on to your finger before cupping your face and kissing you gently. Both of you held each other as you stood in silence listening to your heart beats fill the air while the moon light bathed the two of you from the window. It was perfect. It was safe. It was heaven.

The next morning you woke up in bed with Cillians arms draped across your waist and head on your shoulder. Today was the day the two of you told everyone that you were together. His little snores echoed into your ear as you squirmed in your spot which woke him up.

"Good mornin darlin." His morning voice washed over you and went right to your core.

"Good morning handsome." You turned on your face to see him with a half sleepy smile on his lips as you kissed him awake. Both of you eventually got up to get ready for mass.

When the clock struck nine am the people of the church came rolling in as father Murphy stood up at the alter while you sat front row as always. Your legs crossed one over the other , hands folded in your lap, make up lightly applied to match the Sunday dress you had that stopped at your knees. The church echoed with small talks of the congregation while Cillian stood up there double checking everything before he got started.

“Good mornin’” he started making everyone quiet. Cillian carried on with his preaching. Your eyes followed his every move. He made eye contact with you a couple of times which made you giggle quietly , you really felt like a school girl! When Cillian was done with his reading for the service he started talking about the church reminders that were coming up soon.

“And there’s something special I’d like to share with ya, now tis a good thing we’re all gathered here in the eyes of God because he’ll forgive ya for ya sins when I share tis news. There’s a special person I’d like to come up here… Y/N! Please.” He put out his hand towards you. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stood on wobbly legs and made your way up to the alter. You could feel all the eyes on you burning you alive! Your heart wanted to fall out of your body, palms shaking and covered in sweat, this was happening! You love him, you need him! Cillian is yours and you are his. Two hearts that connected beyond the basic idea of a man loves of woman!

“Many of you know Y/N Y/L/N, but pretty soon she’ll become Mrs. Murphy. I have asked for her hand in marriage and while that may seem to be sinful in some of your eyes, I know she’s meant for me. I’ve know her, her whole life and God has allowed me to open my heart to such a pure soul! I am not asking anyone’s permission here. We are very happy together and I count my blessings everyday for her. She is an angel that had touched me in the purest of ways. I love you Y/N and I can’t wait to call ya me wife!” Cillian cupped your tear stained face before kissing you as hard as he could while the sounds of gasps, claps and tears echoed off the church walls. He pulled away slowly wiping away your tears with his thumbs while looking into your eyes.

You stood there frozen. This still felt like a dream but when his lips met yours you realized this was your dream come to life. You laid your head against his shoulder as the two of you faced the crowd. Many eyes were wet from tears. Emotions were high and yet no one had got up to leave.

“And with that, I wish a good week. May God help guide you through.” Cillian closed his Bible before holding your hand while helping you down the alter steps. You gripped his hand as a few people walked up to the two of you. A lot of them congratulated the news, others asked many questions and of course the older ladies asked to see the ring! You proudly showed off the ring because you were proud! They all smiled and hugged you. These were the ladies that helped raise you in the church because your parents couldn’t bother to do so.

“You’re a very lucky man Father Murphy.” A few of the men commented. Cillian agreed with them. You told Cillian you’d be right back because all the attention was making your stomach turn in a way you didn’t like. He kissed your forehead and let you go but as you did you heard an off hand comment …

“I bet they’re only getting married because he knocked her up.” You stopped in your tracks. “I mean how could you love a whore like that.” The voice sounded familiar. You turned slightly and she was standing there with a smug look. You felt the anger boil in your body.

“Bite your tongue.” You thought while your fists started to shake. You carried on.

“Bet he doesn’t actually love her, he just feels bad.” The laughs filled your ears and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You turned on your heels and marched towards her , your rival since Sunday school when she started the rumor you stuffed your bra. “Bitch!” You yelled before your fist met her jaw.

The word “bitch” was heard through out the church making everyone go quiet. She stood there holding her jaw while you stood there panting. Her hand reached for your hair and gripped it making you yell before another hit to her nose happened. She let go to grab her nose.

“You’ve always been a bitch to me! I never did a damn thing to you! For the record , I’m NOT pregnant and he does LOVE me! You’ve got nothing better to do than to make everyone miserable because your own husband is cheating on you with your best friend and everyone in town knows it. It’s a small town. God may not forgive me for hurting you no matter how much I’ll beg, but at least I’ll have a faithful husband at the end of the day!” You gave her another slap and went to do it again before Cillians hand grabbed it and pulled you away.

“You’re marrying a whore father !” She spat at your feet.

“May the lord forgive you and clear your heart but until he does, you and your family are no longer welcomed here.” Cillian held your waist as he took you back to his office and slammed the door shut.

“Wat was tat about?” His eyebrows furrowed as you stood there panting, shaking and wiping away your tears with your blood stained knuckles .

“Apparently I’m the whore of Babylon ! You don’t really love me …”

“And you believed her? Ya know better than that! Do you know long I’ve admired you ? I’ve watched you blossom into a beautiful young lady who’s about to become my beautiful wife.” His hands wrapped around yours as he sat you in his chair and grabbed some wipes to help clean your knuckles. “You gotta control your anger darlin! It’s such an ugly thing. I know it’s hard but we can’t have ya all bruised on our wedding day. She’s just a jealous woman who is full of hate and she’s not going to be the only one. They have every right to be jealous , but you have to learn to let it brush off of ya. Anger is a sin darlin, you know the lord will forgive ya .” Cillian kissed your forehead gently while pulling you into a hug.

The next few weeks at church were going okay. A few families had switched to a new church but not enough to make a big difference. You hadn’t seen her since you punched her in the face and it’s been a blessing to say the least. Some of the older ladies have been asking you to help with the wedding but truth was , the wedding wasn’t going to be happening for awhile but you did appreciate their help.

“Excuse me ladies..” Cillian stepped into the knitting circle that met every Wednesday in the activities room. “I’m going to steal me beautiful fiancé for a minute .” You set your stuff down carefully before walking out of the room with Cillian on your arm.

“Is everything okay ?” You asked quietly as he walked with you to the alter. Cillian stood there holding your hand and gave it a squeeze before dropping down onto his knee. He pulled out another black box and opened it slowly.

“Cillian! That’s…” your mouth went dry.

“It’s your great grandmas wedding ring. Aggie had it all these years and she felt that I should’ve proposed with this.”

“Oh cillian , you know the ring doesn’t matter to me, I never needed a ring.” You smiled down at him as he took the ring from the box and slipped it on your finger on top of the original ring.

“You have something new and blue now.” He kissed the top of your head when he stood up. This was everything you had dreamed of. This was what you’ve wanted. Cillian kissed you while holding your head.

You were his. He was yours. There was nothing that could come in between the two of you to make you change your mind. No jealousy, no anger, no lingering eyes of the church! This was your new start of life .

[claire-elvisgirl]

Wanna make a bet?

I'm having a lot of fun writing fast and funny stories...here's the first one.

Summary: You found some photos of Elvis with other women and you bet with him that you could do better than them.

Warning: 18+, smut, f gives head and swallows

Word cunt: 1k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t believe your eyes. As you took those pictures in your hands you felt a wave of anger blowing through your body. You ran downstairs looking for him and you found him relaxing on the couch.

“Oh there you are! I was just looking for you…what the fuck are these?” you asked throwing him the photos. He woke up and looked at you with sleepy eyes. “What the…where’d you get these, hun?”

“I found’em in your room, while I was cleaning up!”

He grabbed the pictures and looked at them, one after one: “And what ya were doin’ in my room?”

“I told you…I was cleaning up!”

He laughed at you: “Nah, don’t ya try to change the subject, ya were snoopin’ around werent’ya?”

You answered him shouting: “I had my good reasons to do it and guess what, I was right!”

“Right about what? What the hell ya think ya found out?”

Your eyes were filled with tears as you said those terrible words: “You’re cheating on me!”

He rolled his eyes up: “Now wait a minute baby, ya know I would never…”

“Explain this then!” you asked him. He got up from the couch and walked towards you, trying to find the right words. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of an explanation…I’m a man with needs and it gets kinda lonely sometimes…but I still love ya, ok?”

You were sitting on the couch crying all your tears out: “Now I understand why you didn’t want me on tour with you!”

He turned his back on you: “Oh God, not that shit again….is that a crime?”

Your anger exploded: “No, it’s not a crime…but hiding things like that…it is!” you answered, showing him a particular photo of a blonde woman, kneeled down giving him head.

He looked down embarrassed: “Okay, guess ya caught me red-handed! Look honey, I’m no saint…never claimed to be…I’m a mortal man with needs, but I ain’t just some cheatin’ son a bitch, okay? I love ya and ya know it!”

“Who is she?” you asked.

“I don’t give a damn who is she! I don’t even remember her name! Will ya please stop buggin’ me?” he was getting out of the room when you grabbed his hand and stopped him: “I bet I can do better than her!”

He turned around shocked, with a sparkle in his eyes: “Oh yeah? Well…prove it then!”

“You asked for it!” you answered. He looked back, teasing you. “I can’t wait to see ya try…but I’m sure ya don’t have the courage to do it right now!”

You kneeled in front of him and started to unzip his pants. He tried to bring you back up: “C’mon darlin’, I was kidding. Ya don’t have to prove anything. I believe ya!”

“You asked for it? You’re gonna get it!”

He couldn’t believe his ears and eyes: “You’re playin’ with fire, girlie…but ok, let me see what ya can do!”

You slid his pants down and he laughs: “Woah, we ain’t even on a couch yet…”

You looked up at him mischievously: “Who said we need a couch? You just stand up…and lemme do the rest!”

He took his face in his hands: “Woah darlin’…ya are a wild one…ya sure ya wanna do this?”

You nodded: “Once I’ll be done with you, you’re gonna forget all the others…once and for all! I wanna show you that I’m good at this just like that blonde bitch of yours…and even more!”

He laughed again: “Well then…I think we got ourself a deal!” he grabbed your chin.

She lowered her head and removed his pants revealing his hard cock: “Well hellooo…what do we have here? Seems like lil’ Elvis is already happy to see me!”

He smirked and laughed loudly: Oh darlin’, ya really are a tease…”

“Ready?” you asked him with a soft voice.

“Whenever ya are baby!”

You grabbed it in your hand and started to pump it: “Mmmmm so hard already…so hard for me…”

He moaned softly, his body quivering from the sensation of her soft hand stroking him: “That feels nice hun…so nice!”

You started very softly, to make him enjoy every little movement: “You like it?” He nodded slowly with his eyes closed tightly, while he tried to hold back his moanings. “It’s amazing hun, keep going…”

You paced up a little: “Don’t hush what you’re feeling, let it go!”

Listening to your words made him groaning loudly and he grabbed your hand, pumping with you. “Oh Goddd”

You took it in your mouth, taking his entire length down your throath. He opened his eyes wide as he felt your warm, wet mouth working around him. “Oh my God…baby…”

You kept sucking like a bee from a flower, clutching your lips around it.

His hips moved back and forth as he started to fuck your mouth. His face turned red with pleasure as he gripped onto your hair: “You’re doing great baby!”

You pulled back for a while leaving him speechless: “What the…”

“Am I better than her? Say it!” you looked up at him, still holding his cock in your hand.

He answered with a shaky voice: “You’re waaay better than her…but…I want ya to keep going, please…”

You smiled at him: “I want you to beg for it!”

He begged desperately: “Please hun…make me cum…keep going, I’m so close…”

You kept pumping it with your hand: “My little boy wants more?”

He nodded his head rolling back his eyes as his release approached: “More baby…please…please!”

“Ask properly!”

He looked down at you: “Please hun, I want ya to make me cum…please I need it!”

You took it back in your mouth, sucking and teasing with your tongue and he groaned loudly. His body was trembling as he lost control of himself. “S-suck it harder baby…I’m close!”

You looked up enjoying the sight of him, completely lost in his pleasure. The sensation was too much for him and he reached the peak of ecstasy. “Ready baby?”

He cries out loud as he cums hard inside of your waiting mouth. “Fffuck…yesss!” He was unable to speak or move.

You looked up, waiting for him to open his eyes. As you looked down at you, you swallowed and licked your lips. “Good boy!” He looked at you in disbelief, still panting from his orgasm, then he fell back on the couch. “Thank…thank you…that was…amazing…I have never felt anything like that before.”

You sat down and hugged him: “Anything to say?”

He tried to catch his breath, with his head rolled back and his eyes still closed: “I think…you proved your point baby!”

You grabbed his face and looked at him: “Now you remember that when you need such things, you don’t have to look around…you have me!”

He looked down and kissed you: “I know! You’re the best baby!”

[ask-jude-jazza]

I saw Nica stealing important documents on one of your victims, I mean clients.

With love,

Tagarela

That lil' git...

Gonna charge him for stealin' and make him pay a fine big enough so he won't be snoopin' 'round the next time.

[elviraaxen]

You know what every story needs in my opinion? Unfiltered absolute chaotic goblin energy

I'm talking, caught snoopin in the pantry at 3 am eating spray cheese type carnage this girl is makes the word Disaster blush

Also moss appreciation post (I'm allergic to grass and a salty little hater about it)

She's so 2010 I love her !!!!!! 😭😭😭

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 26

were at actual literal earth this time in 1968. id ask how they time traveled but as established theres like 6 different ways they couldve done that

"space turbulence? in 1968?? impossible!!"

A White Man Has Beamed Aboard

OMG HE HAS A CAT

sorry ominous background music i cant be scared of this dude when hes carrying a little kitty cat like a baby

fellow time traveler? fellow space traveler at least

"this is the most critical period of earths history" oh get over yourselves 1960s writers

COMBAT CAT

i cant be mad about the red shirts getting attacked by the cat sorry

spock holding the cat...

kirk staring at the back of the TV while skype-ing the crew

we are once again talking about the cold war

so this dude is like doctor who but james bond

The Cat Has Escaped

Space James Bond Has Escaped (With His Cat)

stop motion bank vault

space james bond forgot his password

space james bond is also concerned about the cold war

kirk and spock undercover in the most conspicuous trench coats ive ever seen

space james bond blows his cover to a funny blonde lady and now theyre best friends

Space James Bond Has Escaped (With His Cat) (Again)

get beamed idiots

...how did they get footage of an actual rocket

bros taking an elevator up a nuke

i love all the stupid little hats spock wears when hes undercover

theyre trying to pretend this rocket footage is from a weather satellite but the different shots are all from starkly different angles

funny blonde lady is snoopin

space james bond it is very dangerous to climb on a rocket. think of your cat

space james bond your cat is upset

does no one see the man messing with the rocket guts in broad daylight

ok scotty does

hes been unbeamed

kirk and spock have done jackshit this entire episode

The Nuke Has Been Launched

space james bond is hacking into the nuke and its still not clear how evil he is. my moneys on not evil. because i like his cat

space james bond people wouldnt be suspicious of you if you just explained what the hell you were doing

why did they even launch the nuke if they didnt want it to hit anyone

funny blonde lady is star treks target demographic

"without facts, the decision cannot be made logically. you must rely on your human intuition" make out

is a nuke detonating 100 miles above the surface of the planet not also kinda bad

so whats the deal with the cat

um

the cat is a shapeshifter again

how did this happen twice

someone on the writing team has a kink for ladies who shapeshift into black cats

so was this a tie-in to another show or something

alright bye