#in any case I wanna try to see if I can get decent looking bangs happening with green stuff

[blujayonthewing]

I CANNOT DECIDE whether I want a Combat little guy or a Little Guy Flavored little guy

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

Up In the Air (Joe x Reader)

(surprise gift for you guys on Joe's birthday ^_^ I started this almost exactly a year ago, and it's finally done! Someone pointed out that I slightly hinted at the plot of this in my last fic post... you caught me.)

Words: 4,028

Prompt: Spring, 1983. Joe has an opportunity in his sights, but as luck would have it, it does not go his way (or does it...?)

-----

(1983)

"God, it was so embarrassing!" Joe put his palms over his eyes as he whined to Sav. The singer was flat on his back in the middle of their bed, and Sav's back was against the wall opposite him. The bassist had his arms crossed in exasperation.

They were back in a fresh, new hotel room after another flight to another city. They'd been settled in for a while, and- as far as you knew- Joe was physically well. Emotionally, however...

"What are the odds that things were placed so perfectly for me today, and then-?!" he swatted the air above him, "That happens? 'Just my luck!"

Sav didn't consider it as dire of a situation as Joe did. In fact, he seemed rather entertained than sympathetic.

"That was out of your control, mate."

"I know it was, but-" he sat up, "Y/n was right there! How was I supposed to keep it together?!"

"If it were anyone else other than her, you still would've had to keep it together, you know," Sav tilted his head down, but had his eyes looking up.

"Well, you're no help," Joe grumbled, crossing his arms back at the bassist and flopping back down onto the mattress.

"There's nothing to help you with!" Sav took a seat at the foot of the bed, "It's not my fault you got-"

Joe sat up again in a snap, warning with a pointed finger, "Don't say it."

"I was just gonna say that I had nothing to do with you being-"

"Don't say it!" Joe pleaded again.

"Joe, it's not that big of a deal that you-"

"Sav!"

"Alright, fine!" Sav threw up both hands, shaking his head and narrowly fighting off a laugh, "I won't say it!"

A loud sigh came from Joe, his head hanging now. The heat of embarrassment refused to leave his face.

"...do you think she's still hung up on it, too?" his voice went quiet, and his tone adopted a sad air.

Sav raised his hand, rubbed his fingers together, and patted Joe's ankle reassuringly.

"It's hard to say no," he admitted, "I know I wouldn't have liked to be in either of your shoes today."

~(5 hours earlier)~

A hand took a grip on your right forearm without warning. It snapped you from the hypnotic, musical trance you'd been in for most of the flight. Having been placed next to the singer for the first time on an airplane, you knew it was his action without a doubt. You looked down and sure enough, Joe's hand was there- holding onto you just a bit too tightly.

Your free hand took off your headphones and you asked him, "Everything alright?"

The singer wasn't focused on you, or anything, it seemed. "Unfocused" was probably the best word you could think of to describe him. His head was slightly tilted downwards, but his eyes were fixed on the back of the chair in front of him. Despite that, it appeared as if he couldn't see it no matter how hard he tried.

You gathered this impression from a split second of looking at him, but as soon as he heard your question, Joe's hold on you was instantly released. His own trance was snapped as well.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. I thought you were the armrest..."

"You were holding on pretty tight," you pointed out, "Something wrong?"

That same look on his face was back again; unfocused. His hand slowly found its way back to the armrest- now that he knew it wasn't your arm. You saw his hand shaking before he gripped it tightly.

"You don't look so good," you noted, adopting a frown.

He hesitated slightly before going very quiet, his face suddenly appearing pallid.

"Fuck..." Joe cursed himself, "I fucked up, I fucked up..."

You pressed again, "Joe... tell me what's wrong..."

He lied to you in a halting voice when a new blush seemed to form on his face, "Um... it's nothing much. There's just- something I haven't told you, and I should've mentioned it before we got on board. But I..."

He fell quiet.

"Yeah...?" you urged him to go on.

"I get... seasick- airsick... sometimes. Not every time, but... every now and then I do- and..."

He visibly swallowed, his breath trembling when he slowly shut his eyes.

Your eyebrows went up, alarmed, "And you're not feeling so good?"

"No, no, no...!" his inner voice screamed.

"Not really, but I'm fine, don't worry about me. It just happens."

His efforts to shrink the overall worry didn't work, as you instantly knew that if things went south, you were the only nearby acquaintance of his who could help him. You were also trapped with him for 2 more hours until you landed, so you would've had to help him if need be.

"Oh god- are you gonna be sick?" your hand raised up slightly to reach for a sick bag.

"No! No, I'm more dizzy than anything..."

"Well, take this-" you handed him a sick bag, "-and just try not to focus on your surroundings. And if you can't hold it down... well just keep it in the bag and away from me, okay?"

"...okay," he exhaled and took it from you, desperately hoping it wouldn't come to that. For fuck's sake, he was already embarrassed enough. He felt like a child. Even worse; he felt like your child.

Joe shut his eyes again and rested his head back on his seat. His whole body looked drained of energy, and you saw sweat forming on his forehead. It was obvious to you he was trying to make himself appear more okay than he was.

"I can do this," Joe nearly said aloud, "I can get through this without her knowing."

Unfortunately, for him, you already knew.

"The poor guy," you were thinking with sympathy, "Never knew he could look so ill."

You asked, "You've been feeling bad for a while, haven't you?"

"...what?" he squinted under his eyelids, lying to you again, "No, not really. Why, can you tell?"

"I don't wanna sound rude... but yeah, you kind of look like hell."

Joe quietly whined at your declaration.

"I know that look, Elliott- I've been in this position before."

The man next to you was intrigued by what you implied. He was suddenly beginning to think that maybe his situation wasn't as embarrassing as it appeared.

His eyes opened, "Wait, have you ever-?"

"Oh- no, I never get sick on planes, but you're not the first case I've ever seen."

"Great. This means she's stronger than me."

You held up your bottle, "You want some water? Maybe settle your stomach a little?"

Joe felt his stomach turn at the mention of liquid and shook his head, "No, I'll be fine..."

It was another lie, but you decided maybe it was best you just let him be. Perhaps he wasn't that bad.

Joe, on the other hand, was fighting the sickness with all the strength he could muster- hoping you wouldn't see it.

"Don't mess this up," he was telling himself, "She's right there. Keep it together and don't balls it up...!"

Going with your plan, you let him be, and put your headphones back on.

He took a deep breath, "Fuck, if only the seatbelt lock wasn't on... then at least I could hide in the bathroom..."

The Leppard waited in terrified silence for his ailment to subside. With the current turbulence, it was impossible. Every shudder and bump made him want to heave until there was nothing left in his stomach. Worst of all, there was no where he could run to; he was trapped.

Oddly enough, before the sickness hit him, he was actually excited to be trapped there.

It was no secret among the band members that Joe quickly developed a crush on you. What started out as a feeling of preferring you over anyone else in the crew soon turned into a reach for romance. There was no time for him to make a move in the midst of the tour, though, which left him to suffer in his teenage desire alone.

When he heard he would be seated next to you on the next flight, he instantly knew it was an opportunity he couldn't afford to waste. This was the first time he'd sat directly by you on a plane, after all. It was a brilliant time to make a move and bond together. He'd been nervous ever since he sat down, but he never got the chance to make a flirt or decent conversation before his body betrayed him. Yes, it was an optimistic opportunity, but now Joe wished it'd been anywhere except up in the air.

The stress of the situation only made him feel worse- but he wouldn't accept the fact that he was about to lose this divine opening.

Not 4 minutes of your music went by when the plane shook yet again. When it did, you thought you saw Joe suddenly move from the corner of your eye. When your head turned, you saw his fist pressed against his mouth, an arm around his stomach, and a green tint over his pallid face.

"Woah, you alright?" you took your headphones off again.

Joe only nodded, closing his eyes to reassure you (but also to reprimand himself under the surface).

"No, no no!! Stop being sick for fuck's sake! You won't have a chance with her!!"

"I'm good, I'm good," he swallowed again, wiping sweat off his bangs, "Go back to your music."

"Don't lie to me, Joe. You look terrible-! Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"I'm really not that bad, Y/n. Just a little... motion sickness..." his breathing became labored, and he angled his body as far to his right as he could. He began to fidget with something as he swallowed, "Ohh..."

The cabin teetering around him somehow made things even worse.

"Honey, I don't think it's just a little," your concern was peaked, and a hand was hovering over his arm, "You look like you're about to throw up or pass out, so how about we get you some club soda and you can rest, okay? If you want to, you can even-"

Joe was turned completely away from you, and had suddenly lurched forward to vomit into the sick bag you'd given him earlier. You knew that any hope of him holding back his condition was impossible now.

You'd initially flinched at his retching; cringing and holding your breath. Only a second passed until you remembered your duty; you were the only friend nearby.

"Uh oh-" sympathetically, you sighed and reached out to him, your hands holding his hair back, "That's not good..."

***

"I feel so humiliated... I was just- so deathly sick! I threw up twice, Sav- twice! And she was right next to me! I feel awful that she had to put up with it...! I feel like that's on me. She probably thinks I'm disgusting; she probably sees me as this huge fucking pansy who can't keep his lunch down while flying..."

"Mate, getting sick on flights isn't a personality trait, and I'm pretty sure Y/N knows that, too."

Joe, who was laying down again, scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"...I think this situation isn't all that bad, really," Sav shrugged, his voice going up in pitch to take on a suggestive tone.

"What on earth makes you say that?"

"It's quite obvious! I just think you were-" he adopted Joe's voice and air quotes, "-'so deathly sick' that you didn't even realize exactly what was happening...!"

"Really? How so?"

"Oh, don't even get me started, Joe."

*** Joe was laying against you now, exhausted from the physical labor forced on his stomach and throat. He was still pale and shivering, but finally willing to accept your advice and remedies. You'd ordered him some club soda (and some mints from your purse), and suggested he take a rest.

This left you where you were now. He had a hand on his stomach, and another one under your hand to calm him.

To say the least, it felt like having a nice, heavy blanket partially draped on you. You couldn't help but think it was at least a little funny. To most people, they'd be absolutely repulsed by a man with a weak stomach sleeping on them during a flight. You couldn't blame them, as Joe could still hurl at any given moment. However, the instinct to care for him overpowered any repulsion you may have had. To you, Joe was like a sick puppy, and you were the one who found him first. You knew he needed you in that moment, and you were okay with it. It was a nice feeling, to say the least.

Joe moved his head against you in his weary and mostly-asleep state of consciousness. A soft grumble vibrated from his sore throat.

Amid those circumstances that would normally gross you out, you managed to smile at him. That, and you gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was safe.

That pale, clammy version of the singer you were trapped with wasn't the form of himself he put on display to just anyone. This was a whole new side of him that you knew he never intended you to see; he was helpless. Joe had given in and finally let himself be helpless around you. You found it was rather sweet, and even somehow softening your heart.

It almost felt like a strange honor that not many people had the privilege of possessing, given that Joe tried so hard to hide it from you.

Him desperately vying to avoid your concern was typical for any one of the guys. Naturally, none of them wanted to appear vulnerable around you, but Joe seemed so hell-bent on keeping up his charade of feeling fine. You wondered what reasons he had for his strict act. Perhaps it was the intimate public setting that drove him to conceal his motion sickness at all costs. Maybe it was in order to save himself from certain embarrassment; you really didn't know.

Whatever reason he had, it didn't dwell in your mind for long. All you knew was that even with a half-dead, cold-sweated Joe on your shoulder, your heart was fluttering in a way that was even more inexplicable than his behavior.

*** "First of all," Sav held up a sassy finger at Joe, "She was the one who suggested she hold your hand, plus she held your hair back, plus she let you sleep on her shoulder and tried to make you feel better. Sounds rather tender, if you ask me. Tenderly intimate."

"I'll tell you what was 'intimate'-" Joe's grumpiness was still prominent, "-her watchin' me regurgitate my fuckin guts from 10 inches away!"

"But those were all girlfriend duties!" Sav bounced in his seat, trying to get the point across.

Joe finally fell silent. He sat up, and Sav could see the blush in his cheeks.

"...girlfriend duties?" he nearly whispered to the bassist.

"I'm right and you know it. Tell me those weren't girlfriend-ly actions! She got affectionate with you!"

Joe let his sight fall, then rise back up after a brief moment of pondering.

"She did, didn't she..."

"She definitely did."

Sav was smirking at him now.

Joe asked him again, "You really think she did...?"

"There's not a doubt in my mind."

"Oh-" Joe made a swatting motion and shook his head. He looked diagonally down at the floor, "She probably would've been affectionate to any one of us in that situation..."

Sav laughed out loud at his friend's comment. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was back at home, gossiping in Joe's childhood bedroom during a sleepover.

"Mate, when I had food poisoning last month, she didn't wanna get near me! But today, she was touchin' you and strokin' you and whatnot! Now that I mention it, I saw her smile while you were sleeping and holding her hand! Believe me, she wanted to help you. It was like she had an excuse to get close to you, just like you saw the flight as an excuse to get close to her."

Resting his case, Sav crossed his arms, tongue in his cheek.

They both remained quiet while Joe sat in thought. The pieces slowly began to fit together in his head, forming a train of thought he could somewhat follow.

"Suppose you are right; what do you suppose I do about it now?"

Sav could tell his argument was a success. His work there was done.

"That's entirely up to you."

*** You hadn't been awake that long, and were still pretty groggy when dawn began to break the next day. The unfortunate sensation of jet lag was beginning to catch up with you at that time, too. It didn't matter, because it was all part of the business. Your day would begin soon enough, jet lag or not.

After rubbing your eyes and throwing on your robe, you drew back the curtains and peered out at the misty morning. Thinking the hypnotic trance might wake you up more, you began to stare. Just as quickly, your eyes began to flutter shut again. Right before they did, however, there came a gentle knock at your door.

Blinking yourself back awake, you brought yourself to answer the call.

Initially, you found no one outside your room via the door's peephole. However, when you opened the door to search for anyone nearby, there came an unexpected surprise.

Rather than a person standing before you, a colorful bouquet of flowers lay on your doorstep. Of course, it was strange, but it also left you quickly growing bashful. You just hoped it wasn't one of your guy friends playing an early morning joke on you. Even so, your mind would be too cloudy to process that.

Looking around with sleepy confusion and flattery, you crouched down and picked up the bright bundle. You shuffled your fingers through the top of the arrangement to try and find a label or card that would give away the sender's identity. Eventually, you found the exact clue you were looking for; in the form of a small note.

The fresh, awakening scent of the blossoms wafted around you as you made out the handwriting.

"I'm so sorry I almost threw up on you on the plane! 🙁 -Joe"

It couldn't have been any more straightforward if it'd been put up on a neon sign. You chuckled out loud in the empty hallway and peered around to find a trace of the man in question.

Instantly, you found his eyes peeking from around the corner a few yards away. A guilty smile on his lips made him look so shy- in contrast to his average demeanor.

"This was really unnecessary, you know," the bundle was waved teasingly at him.

"I felt it was necessary," Joe's body slowly appeared more from behind the corner, "Considering you had no choice but to put up with disgusting ol' me."

Leaning on your door's frame, your eyes followed him while he strolled forward and leaned his shoulder on the wall in front of you. You both wore humorous smiles aimed at each other. If you could think any more clearly, you'd recognize this as flirting. Maybe it was- but it seemed oddly natural in that moment.

"Despite what you may think," your eyebrows lifted as you raised the bouquet up to your chin, "You weren't as gross as you expect. That, and you weren't any trouble."

"I just feel icky about the whole thing," he scrunched up his face and shrugged in disgust, "I promise it won't happen again- if I'm seated next to you."

"Don't worry about it, Joe. You just had a bad flight; everyone's got them from time to time."

"Not you, apparently."

Joe's smile turned rather bashful when he diverted his eye contact elsewhere. He silently chuckled with a hint of embarrassment. When you'd reassured him, he all of a sudden realized what Sav was trying to make him see. There was something in your eyes and your smile and your voice that just spoke to Joe; something that hit him and made him realize you wanted to be in the position you were in the day before.

You wanted to be affectionate with him.

Out of his daze, Joe spoke up after a brief hesitation, "So- um, I know it's early... but it's the perfect time for breakfast, so would you wanna go downstairs and get something to eat?"

"You mean with disgusting ol' you?"

"Don't worry-" his face almost went red at the cheeks, and his dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth, "You don't have to think about me keeping it down this time."

Your arm holding the flowers dropped down to your side as you broke up into giggles.

"I'm not worried- in fact, I'd love to go."

You couldn't be certain, but you swore you saw Joe's face actually go red that time.

"Cool! Cool. Did you wanna get dressed or-?"

"Well, you don't seem to be dressed either, so why should I?" you reached back into your room to place the bouquet inside. When you shut the door, you joined the singer, "Let's hit it before Mike and Mal take all the good pastries."

Joe showed his teeth in his grin when you came to his side and began walking.

"If they're all taken, I'll steal one for you- considering I owe you a favor after what you did for me yesterday."

"What did I do?"

The answer was simple, but Joe didn't know how to say it without implying his feelings for you.

"You nursed me back to heath- or at least tried to..."

"I told you not to worry about it..."

"Alright, alright, I'll try not to."

"I'll tell you something, Elliott," you giggled as you both got inside the lift, "You've got a strange way of flirting."

Heat rushed to Joe's cheeks, and more threatened to join them at the thought of you noticing.

"Oh yeah?" he laughed.

"You hope I won't notice every tiny effort, yet you keep doing tiny things to make me notice. Even if we're, for example- up in the air..."

"Oh, god..." just like that, Joe thought he'd be the first person on earth to die of embarrassment. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fuck- please don't tell me I was that obvious..."

"Calm down, don't make yourself sick again," you laughed and patted his back, "If it makes you feel any better... I did notice what you were trying to do on the flight. And- um... it worked. So..."

You stood on your toes, and lightly planted a kiss on his cheek, "Let's just say- you don't have to be sick if you want to hold my hand next time."

Joe's hand lowered from his face, and he quickly flashed a bashful glance at you before darting his eyes away.

The elevator doors opened, the smell of coffee seeping everywhere. Instead of walking out, Joe reached out to you.

"You said I didn't have to be sick next time, and I'm quite well now..."

A bashful smile of your own made an appearance as you took his hand like you did the previous day. When you did, Joe giggled to himself.

You glanced over, "What?"

With a pause, Joe rolled in his lips, then looked right at you, "Oh nothing. Just- if you get sick on the next flight, I guess we'll be even, then."

"So, you're gonna sit with me on the next flight, then?" you raised an eyebrow.

"If it means getting even with you, then yes."

"And if it doesn't mean getting even with me?"

"Well," Joe said, smiling widely, "Then the answer is still yes."

That answer was more than enough for you.

Strolling out together, hand-in-hand, you and Joe made your way towards the breakfast counter. In the corner of your vision, you noticed him snagging a pastry off of Mike and Mal's table when he passed by.

The end

[buggaberry]

For your Bad Things Happen Bingo Card, how about "Passing Out From Pain" with Ladynoir? I'm a sucker for Ladybug freaking out if something bad happens to Chat Noir ;)

pairing: ladynoir

word count: 3981

warnings: character injury

a/n: this is over a year late im so sorry but i hope you enjoy ;o;

Read on AO3

__________________________________________

The Parisian sky was dark and cloudy as rain poured down heavily, soaking Ladybug’s hair. She futilely tried to shield herself from the barrage of droplets with her hands.

The rain came on rather suddenly, there were sparse clouds earlier but it was otherwise clear. She’d been sitting on a rooftop waiting to begin patrol.

Chat Noir was late. Though it wasn’t uncommon for him to show up later than her, Ladybug couldn’t help her gnawing concern this time around.

These past few days there’s been something off about him. It took her a while to notice since she’d been worried about Adrien, who was recently discharged from the hospital after having been in an accident.

She could never quite place her finger on it because he’d always throw on that big cheeky grin of his before she could catch his prior expression. Chat fought the same as he always did for the most part, but she noticed that he got knocked over easier and he would breathe rather laboriously at the end of their battles.

Ladybug knew her partner wasn’t well, in what manner was beyond her. The thought had crossed that perhaps he was resting, which would ease her mind, but he would’ve called in by now to tell her. He could always be too fatigued to transform if he was exhausted, but Plagg would have shown up by now if that were the case.

She would remain stubbornly at their meeting spot until there was a sign or if she ended up caving into the weather. Even if it was just to kick him and send him home to rest.

Ladybug attempted to shake off some of the water that soaked her, pulling out her yo-yo and spinning it over her head to shield her from the rain. It was much better, her arm would get tired after a while, but she was determined to tough it out.

It turned out that toughing out wouldn’t have to last long, as she heard a splash and a thud from behind her. Her heart leapt up to her throat in anticipation, only to drop to the pit of her stomach when she turned around.

There Chat Noir was, a soft sheen covering him from the rain, soaked to the bone. Aside from his slightly hunched posture and dull eyes that wouldn’t brighten despite his soft smile, his skin looked pale. It was undeniably pale.

Ladybug let her yo-yo drop from its rapid twirling, placing it back on her hip before scurrying to stand up and approach him.

Chat’s smile strained, trying to give her a better one, though her look of concern didn’t waver for a moment.

“Chat…”

Chat Noir grimaced in return, his smile wasn’t getting him anywhere.

“Hey, Bug,” he tried, attempting to keep his demeanor as straight as he could.

“You look terrible, what are you doing out here?” Ladybug said with brows furrowed in both worry and frustration.

Chat opened and closed his mouth a few times before pursing his lips.

“And it’s pouring out here, you’re gonna make yourself sick! Are you nuts?!” she exclaimed, both her hands fists at her sides.

Chat’s ears drooped atop his head, he looked away in shame remaining silent. Ladybug’s features softened as she gazed at him, shoving her frustration down in an attempt to calm down. Her hand started to reach out to him only to pull away, guilt tugging at her heart for yelling at him.

“I’m sorry… I—… I shouldn’t have yelled,” she said quietly, looking down, “I’ve been worried about you.”

Chat’s eyes returned to her, his smile was much more genuine than the one he was giving her earlier, “It’s alright, I’m alright. I guess I kind of deserved that.”

Ladybug chewed on the inside of her cheek before picking her head back up. He was a lot closer to her face than before, he looked much worse. His eyes weren’t as wide open as they usually were, his lips were paler, each breath he took seemed almost tedious. There were slight tremors that ran through his body occasionally, which could have been because he was cold, but his winces that came after made her think otherwise. It made her chest clench.

“You should go rest, Kitty. You don’t look well,” she whispered while placing a hand on his cheek, caressing it with her thumb, brushing droplets away. There was a brief look of surprise that flickered in his eyes from the action.

Chat sighed, his face pressing into her palm, “If My Lady insists, I suppose I can leave patrol to you.”

“I mean it, Chat. I don’t wanna see you again until you’re feeling better. I need you, but I need you healthy, got it? If you’re sick or hurt, you need to be resting,” Ladybug said, pushing his soaking bangs away from his face.

Chat glanced away, his expression was unreadable but he nodded.

“Good,” Ladybug sighed and pulled her hand away, Chat pouted at the loss of her touch. She wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer though, hesitating before asking, “It’s nothing I need to be worried about, right?”

He let out a soft chuckle before smiling and brushing her dripping bangs away like she had done to him, “I’m not dying if that's what you were wondering. I promise.” He had said it with such sincerity Ladybug couldn’t help but stare at him with wide eyes. There wasn’t a joke about nine lives or a hint of nonchalance in his answer, he was being honest which filled her with relief.

“Do I look that bad?” He snorted, tilting his head to the side endearingly. Ladybug could feel her lip quivering a bit as she turned her head away. “Yes, you do.” she wanted to say.

She heard Chat breathe in a bit like he was about to say something, only for her to suddenly be tackled over to the ground. A loud bang followed, making her ears ring.

Chat painfully groaned from above her, making her snap her gaze up to check if he’d gotten hit. There wasn’t any visible damage, but she still gingerly held him as she got up.

“Can you get up?” she said with urgency, glancing around to make sure another hit wouldn’t come flying in. Chat Noir nodded, so she held him from his forearms to help him up. Ladybug brought his arm around her shoulders, holding him firmly at his waist as she pulled out her yo-yo to swing away, not catching his scrunched-up face.

Though the minute they were airborne, there was a bombardment of large spikes flying in their direction. The rain splashing in her face wasn’t helping her as she tried to maneuver away, she ended up skidding as she landed in the street.

An odd figure approached them from a distance, humanoid with tentacle-like limbs it walked with that sprouted from its back, pitch black and oozing goop. An Akuma that looked like it could have come straight out of some sort of horror movie.

Of course, there would be an Akuma in the midst of pouring rain and her partner basically out of commission. Ladybug was plotting the types of violence she’d resort to when she confronted Hawkmoth.

She spun her yo-yo over their heads to protect them from the rain, though it was kind of pointless since they were already utterly drenched.

The Akuma suddenly lurched forward towards them and in hindsight, maybe she should have spun the yo-yo in front of them to protect them from it. It was fast, too fast for her to move. Chat Noir pulled out his staff from beside her and extended it, quickly moving in front of her to block the incoming limb about to ram into them.

He tried to push it back, only for another one to coil around him and toss him to the side. “Chat!” Ladybug gasped and began to sprint over to him, only to get whipped in the opposite direction. She landed with a thud on her back, the wind knocking out of her lungs.

Just as she began to get up, another spike came flying in, going just over her head and impaling the wall next to her. She whipped around to look at it then back at the unnamed Akuma. The spikes were its limbs, they solidified when they disconnected from its back, growing back promptly after. How quaint.

It began to make a move towards her partner, who still hadn’t gotten back up. Ladybug saw red as she tore the spike out of the wall and chucked it as hard as she could at the Akuma.

She sprinted over to Chat Noir, relieved to see him blinking and breathing, albeit, weakly. She wasted no time tucking her hands behind his back and knees, lifting him up from the ground.

Ladybug whipped her head up to check on the Akuma, who was currently immobilized, tentacles stuck to the ground from the spike she had thrown. It was starting to regenerate, but it was enough time for her to get Chat somewhere safe.

She made haste, sprinting back home, up to her balcony. Her home was decently far away from where the Akuma was.

Chat was quiet the whole time, as she laid him down on her sling chair and pulled out a throw blanket to put over him. Ladybug would’ve put him in her room, but there was no way for her to justify putting him in a stranger’s house. It would have been better to hide him and protect him from the rain, but it was too risky. The drape above the chair was enough to shield him from the rain, thankfully.

“Is this alright?” Ladybug whispered as she tucked him in. He only nodded and gave her a brief smile.

She furrowed her brows at him before jolting back when she heard a distant crash. The Akuma must have gotten free. She had to go back.

Ladybug turned back towards him, reassuringly grabbing his wrist, “I’ll be back as soon as possible, okay?” she said, backing away and swinging in the direction of the noise.

The pit of her chest was filled with anxiety the entire time, her gut practically screaming to go back and stay with him. There was something wrong, she could see it in his eyes.

She took a little longer than she would’ve liked fighting the Akuma, her frustration growing as the battle went on and causing her to continuously slip up.

Ladybug didn’t think she’d ever smashed an akumatized object so hard in her entire life.

She managed to keep the Akuma far from her home the entire time, which didn’t make her any less urgent to get back to her balcony.

The Akuma turned out to be a director who’d gotten upset at the refusal of promoting their horror movie. Ladybug didn’t pay much attention to anything else, her partner was the only one on her mind.

She promptly ran away, out of sight after casting her miracle cure, detransforming in an alleyway to feed Tikki before transforming once again. 

Ladybug returned to find Chat Noir sitting up, his legs dangling off the side of the chair, watching raindrops gather from the brim of the sheet above him and dripping down. His eyes had this sort of mesmerization in them that was akin to what a cat might have.

She let out a puff of air, he looked okay.

One of his cat ears twitched at the sound of her footsteps before he turned his attention towards her.

Ladybug smiled gently at him, "Hey, are you feeling any better?" she asked.

Chat Noir paused for a brief moment before nodding, "Yeah, I think I'm alright," he said, his voice rather quiet.

This was probably the moment she should send him off to go home, part of her felt like that would be wrong.

Before she could say anything to him, he started to get up.

"I should get going now," he said as he walked past her and towards the railing. He barely spared her a glance, he sounded a bit rushed and panicked.

Ladybug turned around to protest, but he just as quickly hunched over and stumbled with a hiss of pain.

She grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him, her prior panic filling her all over again. The moment she held him, he leaned into her, knees wobbling.

"Chat? Chat, what's going on?"

He didn't respond, he had a grimace painted over his features and he was panting.

Chat Noir went limp in her arms in mere moments.

"Chat!" Ladybug cried out, lowering him down to the ground to lay his head on her lap.

She quickly checked his pulse and breathing, both of which were perfectly stable. He had fainted.

What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to take him to the hospital?

There was no fever or anything, so he wasn't ill, he was clearly in pain. Ladybug couldn't think of anything other than that he must have been injured somehow, badly at that. Which made her worry if he was bleeding at all under the suit.

She tried tapping on his cheek a few times to rouse him, but he wouldn't budge.

Her best bet was to wait for him to wake up to see if he could go home or if she needed to take him to the emergency room.

Even if he was mostly alright, she wasn't entirely sure if she trusted him enough to not pass out again on his way back.

The rain had at least eased up, she lifted him up bridal style and carefully laid him back on her chair.

Ladybug was conflicted, they were fairly exposed up on the balcony and both had gotten utterly soaked. She didn't want him to catch a cold on top of everything else.

She debated between walking into the bakery as Ladybug to ask her parents for help or jumping straight into her room to try and care for him.

There was also Alya, she could call Alya for help, she'd understand. Right?

She thought about detransforming and saying Ladybug asked Marinette to watch him, but then she'd feel like a jerk for ditching him as Ladybug.

She placed her head down on Chat's lap and groaned, "Why do you have to do this to me, kitty?" She huffed and took his hand, caressing it with her thumb.

She was just going to have to take him into her room as Ladybug, that seemed like the best option. Her parents would have been ideal, but they were definitely busy in the bakery at this time of day.

Ladybug crawled over to her trapdoor, pulling it open before standing up. She picked him up, adjusting her grip so his head was leaning on her and not bobbing about.

She carefully lowered him onto her bed, gingerly placing his head down first on her pillow. Taking another pillow, she tucked it beneath his legs. They were both dripping water onto her sheets, she'd have to wash them later.

After making sure he looked comfortable enough, she climbed down to grab some clean towels and a warm fluffy blanket that had been sprawled on her chaise.

She set the blanket to the side, unfolding a towel first to tap his face and neck dry before going at his hair. His hair was still damp, but at least it wasn't sopping wet anymore. She then dried off the rest of him, chucking the wet towel to the ground when she was done to pick it up later.

Ladybug dried herself just a bit with the second towel she’d picked up before tossing it along with the other. She picked up the fluffy blanket she had set to the side, tucking him in and pulling her comforter atop him as well.

Letting out a sigh, she let herself lay down beside him, staring at his calm expression. Her hand moved up to brush his bangs away, lingering beside one of his leathery cat ears. She gently scratched right behind it, usually that was enough to get him to purr. It was a little unsettling how he didn't even twitch.

She had to place her hand on his chest just to reassure herself that his heart was beating normally and his breathing was even.

Ladybug closed her eyes, keeping her palm to his chest. There wasn't much else she could do other than to stay by his side until he awoke.

The number of things possibly wrong with him kept flitting through her mind. She wondered how bad it was and if he had family at home worrying about him right now if he was supposed to be resting. In that moment, she couldn’t help but briefly be reminded of Adrien. The extent of his injuries was unknown, but it seemed pretty serious from what she’d heard. Adrien was in a car accident, her only knowledge of the situation was that it seemed intentional and was currently being investigated. If she thought about it, the timing of Chat’s unwell demeanor matched up pretty closely but… Adrien would never sneak out after sustaining such injuries, right? Chat Noir had been out and about for a while as well, she didn’t think it was anything severe.

She was being silly, it was just her concern speaking.

Chat Noir shifted a bit, causing Ladybug to immediately sit up and efficiently end her train of thought. A small noise emitted from his throat before his eyes fluttered open.

“Chat! You’re awake!” Ladybug gasped, throwing her arms around him but in no way hard enough to inflict pain.

Chat Noir looked dazed, shifting his head around to take in his surroundings.

“Are we in Marinette’s room?”

Ladybug felt her face pale, pulling away.

“Oh, right. I uh… I panicked and I asked this girl for help and she was kind enough to let us borrow her room,” she fibbed with a nervous laugh.

“... I see,” Chat replied, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, “Make sure to tell her I said thank you… and that I’m sorry for any trouble I caused.”

“Of course, I’ll bring her ‘thank you’ flowers or something, no worries. She didn’t mind helping out at all,” Ladybug waved off. She hesitated for a moment, pursing her lips, “We were both really worried about you, you know? I was scared half to death… You weren’t any trouble at all, I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said, smiling reassuringly and ruffling his hair before pausing and pulling her hand back.

“You are okay, right? Should I be taking you to the hospital now or—”

Chat Noir chuckled a little at her demeanor, finding it endearing, “No, it’s alright. I think I’ll just tell someone I passed out when I go home, then I’ll go if I need to,” he said.

Ladybug nodded along, furrowing her brows, “How are you gonna get back home? You passed out after barely taking a few steps on your way back.”

Chat Noir grimaced at that, “Right. Do you think I could give you an address close to my place where you can drop me off and then I can make the rest of the way back?” he said in a mostly joking manner. But to Ladybug, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

“Yeah, I can do that. Just type it in my yo-yo, we can get going right now,” she said as she opened up her yo-yo and handed it over to him, leaving his mouth gaping.

“Wait, really? You don’t have to, I don’t wanna trouble you, you’ve done more than enough. You probably have to go back home now, I can probably make it back on my own,” Chat insisted, sitting up a bit trying to hand the yo-yo back to her.

Ladybug pushed it back towards him and shook her head, “Nope. We’re going. I want you to get any help you need as soon as possible.”

Chat Noir pouted, reluctantly starting to type in an address, handing it back to her when he finished, “There.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard. Come on, up. I’m picking you up,” she said, already removing the blankets on top of him and tucking her hands under him.

Chat Noir didn’t have a second to complain, grumbling in her arms and she carried him out bridal style.

“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” she said, trying to be as careful as she could. Chat nodded back before tucking his face into her shoulder. Ladybug had to fight down a blush from his close proximity.

They were airborne in mere moments, Ladybug hurried as quickly as she could to the location he’d given her. She didn’t want to waste a moment if he was in need of any medical attention.

Once she reached the rooftop, she gingerly let him down, still holding him up from his arm.

“This is the spot, right?” she asked.

“Yeah… thank you,” he said quietly.

Ladybug couldn’t quite get over this quiet and reserved demeanor of his, it only made her more worried.

She chewed on the inside of her lip in thought before attempting to toss on a cheesy grin, “It was no purr-oblem, kitten.”

Chat Noir was quiet after that, Ladybug's grin was wavering but she tried to keep it up, throwing in a finger gun. The gesture alone probably took years off of her own life.

He eventually snorted softly, followed by a quiet melodious laugh. Ladybug’s heart briefly stuttered at the genuinity of it.

“Thank you…” he said once again after catching his breath, it was filled with much more sincerity.

Ladybug coughed, lightly punching his shoulder, “Yeah, right. Just don’t do anything stupid like that again.” Chat smiled, giving her head a little pat.

“I’ve been really worried about you and you… you just really matter to me, okay? So… get better soon. Please go home and try to rest,” she pleaded, voice wavering, Chat Noir froze in place.

He shifted to pull her to his chest, delicately hugging her.

“I will, I promise,” he whispered into her hair.

Ladybug breathed in shakily and nodded, “Good.”

She pulled away from his embrace, staring up into his eyes. She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek, leaning in and tenderly pecking the other, “Go. Come back to me healthy,” she said as she backed away.

Chat stared at her in awe, his pale complexion tinting pink.

“Ah,” he said after a beat or two of surprise.

He nodded, “Yes, of course.”

Once he seemed to regain his senses, he approached her, brushing her bangs to the side and pressing his lips gently to her forehead, “Till we meet again?”

Ladybug blinked a few times, holding her breath for a second to repress a noise of surprise. She cleared her throat, “Even if it takes weeks or months, take it easy until you’re better. I can handle things.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and spun him around, mostly to hide her red face, “Now shoo.”

Chat Noir chuckled, “As my lady wishes,” he said before steadily taking off.

Ladybug puffed a sigh of relief watching him go off. Though she realized she shouldn’t keep staring since his home was probably nearby. She quickly averted her gaze, spinning around and pulling out her yo-yo to head home.

When she landed in her bed and destransformed, she did so in a plop.

Marinette’s sheets were still damp from earlier, though she felt far too drained and fumbled with her feelings to do anything about it right now.

All she could do was think about him, he was all that was on her mind.

She idly wondered if the kwamis would let them exchange letters, Marinette had a feeling it would be a while before she could see him again. As long as he was bright again once more.

[thelovelylolly]

Sweet Sweet Jealousy (MODERN AU)

Summary : It’s been a month since you had broken up with Kylo Ren, successfully cutting off your toxic and dangerous relationship with the powerful millionaire. Your friends Rey, Finn and Poe finally convinced you to go clubbing with them so that night you get all dressed up and go to club with your best friends. Little did you know, some one was watching you as soon as you entered the club. Every action you did, including the ones that felt so wrong yet so right.

Pairing : A bit of Kylo Ren x Reader but it’s mainly Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings : Mentions of abuse, violence and mature content, but not quiet smexy times. Also slight language nothing too major, just hell and that kind of stuff

Notes : Ooh baby this is spicy. I’m scared this isn’t gonna be well received

“Y/N! Get the hell out of your room and come clubbing with us!” Rey, on of your best friends, yelled through your door. 

“No! I look like trash! Just leave me and my wine alone!” You shouted back, hugging your knees to your chest. Ever since you breakup with millionaire Kylo Ren, you’ve been in this slump.

You didn’t even understand why. You broke up with him and he caused more pain to you then you to him. You can remember that day like it was yesterday, even though it was a month ago.

You walked into Kylo’s living room, shyly sitting down on his large, white leather couch. You gazed out at the beautiful he had from his wall of windows. Kylo sat next to you, wrapping his arm around you. You tensed up from the touch, hands gripping around the strap of your small purse, causing your knuckles to turn white.

“What’s got you so tense, sweetheart?” He asked, his velvety smooth voice saying your pet name perfectly. It made everything harder then it had to be. 

“Kylo, I want to....terminate....our relationship.” You said, terrified to look into his eyes. Kylo was speechless. He couldn’t believe it. Kylo dryly laughed.

“Why?” He asked accusingly. You stayed silent, trying to pick the right words to say so you wouldn’t get hurt. Kylo gripped your jaw and force you to look him in the eye. “I asked a question, I expect you to answer, pet.” He spat.

“It isn’t healthy for me anymore.” You stammered out as he let go of your jaw. You stood up and walked around his coffee table, not wanting to be near him as you spoke. 

“When we started, it was rough and quick and I loved it. But now, after a few months, you keep getting rougher and more dangerous. I drew the line last week when we met up. I had to get stitches and the doctor said I’ll have a permanent scar.” You explained, running a hand through your hair.

Kylo dryly laughed again before standing up. “You can’t leave me.” 

“Yes I can! I’m not your property! I’m not yours!” You said, raising your voice. He walked over to you and gripped your throat, not enough to crush your windpipes but enough to leave a small bruise. 

“You are mine, that scar you are talking about says so. I gave you that for a reason, pet. If you leave and go bang some other guy, they will see your scars and find you disgusting.” Kylo said, holding your face close to his. He dropped you and you fell to your knees, your hand holding your neck as you caught your breath. Tears brimmed your eyes. 

You stood up and walked towards the door. “If you go through that door, you can’t come back!” Kylo yelled a threat but you didn’t care. You opened the door. “Goodbye, Kylo Ren.”

Since then, you only told one person what Kylo did to you. That person being Poe Dameron, one of your closest friends. You and him had a one night stand and that was the start of your friendship. He introduced you to his other friends Rey and Finn and here you are, your three best friends begging you to leave your room.

Eventually, you got annoyed at their yelling and stood up from your bed, opening the door. “If I go clubbing with you three, will you leave me alone?” You asked. 

“Yes!” All three of them said. You sighed and rubbed your eyes. 

“Fine, we leave at 9.”

---------------------------------------------------------

You got pretty dressed up for tonight. You wore a tight red, sparkly dress that went from right where your chest started to a little bit below your butt. There was a slit in the center that went from the top and went down a few inches, revealing a little bit of cleavage. You also had on red lipstick, natural eye make-up, black lace up heels and your hair was down. 

When you left your room, Rey, Finn and Poe were waiting for you. Rey had on a nice blouse with black pants and heels to match. Poe and Finn had on decent pants and buttons ups. Finn had his top button undone while Poe had his top four undone. Finn wasn’t as confident as Poe but he tried. 

Rey handed you a clutch. “Man, Kylo is missing out. If only he wasn’t a psychotic jerk.” Rey commented, causing you to smile. You looked at your three friends.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

---------------------------------------------------------

You and your friends arrived at the club you go to every once in a while at 9:45-ish. It was around a 45 minute drive to get there so that’s why you went every once in a while. Once you were inside, Rey and Finn went straight for the dance floor while you and Poe sat down at one of tables that lined the walls of the club. The bar was against the back wall of the club and next to it was a stair case that led upstairs to private rooms for either rich people or horny people. 

“Want a drink?” Poe asked. You looked him dead in the eye.

“What do you think the answer to that is?” You asked sarcastically. Poe laughed and got up, going to the bar. You sighed and leaned back and stared at the ceiling. You felt like someone was staring at you. Watching you. You quickly looked around and saw no one looking at you so you decided to ignore it.

Poe came back with some drinks for you and when Rey and Finn decide to stop dancing or whatever they were doing. You chugged your drink quickly while Poe just watched you as he sipped his. “Um, you sure you wanna chug that?”

You wiped your mouth from any drink that didn’t make it into your mouth. You could’ve sworn you saw Poe’s eyes flick down to your lips as you licked around them to get rid of any drink around them. “I’m still getting over Kylo. If I want to drink, I’m gonna drink hard.” 

Poe rolled his eyes, a smirk on his face. “Well since you don’t have anymore to drink, you can get another one if you want.” Poe said, bringing his cup to his lips. You nodded and got up, going to get a refill.

---------------------------------------------------------

You weren’t drunk nor were you completely sober. You had only a few drinks, Poe having had three. Rey and Finn had come over to get their drinks but then disappeared for most of the night. 

“Poe, I feel like someone’s watching me.” You said, addressing the feeling you’ve had all night. Poe looked at you like you were crazy. 

“Why would someone be watching you?” Poe asked, getting a shrug as a reply. You noticed your cup was empty once again so you decided to get up to get another. But instead of walking away, Poe grabbed your wrist and pulled you make so you were basically hovering over him.

“Nope, you’re not gonna get another drink.” Poe said. At that moment, the two of you got lost in each other’s eyes. The music that was booming around them sounded muffled. Then you did it. You smashed your lips against his.

That kiss turned into a full on make out session but as it got deeper and hotter, you felt eyes burn into your back. You could guess who it was, hell, you knew who it was.

Kylo Ren.

In one of the private rooms on the second floor, Kylo was sitting there, waiting for you to do something stupid. He knew you would go to this club, you had brought him here before. So it was pretty obvious. But when he saw you making out with Poe, he was fuming. 

You and Poe separated for air. “Let me go get some juice or something, then I’ll come right back.” You said, quickly kissing him again then getting off his lap.

You were waiting at the bar for your drink when you felt someone grab your arm. The person quickly pulled you up the stairs, which you yelled in protest, but eventually you and the person arrived at one of the private rooms. The person shoved you into the room before close the door behind himself once he entered as well.

“Thank you, Vicrul. You all are dismissed.”

That voice. Kylo Ren. You saw him standing in front of the windows that looked down at the dance floor. A group of men, including the one who took you away from the bar, left the room. You stared at the back of Kylo, who was dressed in his usual all black suit. 

“What do you want, Ren? I was having a nice time.” You spat, crossing your arms.

“With who? Your rebound? I saw you shoving your tongue down Poe’s throat.” Kylo Ren said, his arms behind his back and his eyes watching the dancing young adults below him. You rolled your eyes, a hand on your hip. 

“I broke up with you, Kylo, you don’t own me. If you wanna stalk me, I’ll get a restraining order.” You replied. Kylo slowly turned around and walked over to you. You felt your breath hitched as he tilted your head up to face him. 

“The scars on your hip beg to differ.” Kylo said quietly, his other hand trailing down your side to where the scars he left were. You stepped back to put some distance between you and the monster in front of you. Kylo smirked as you tried to act like you weren’t scared. 

You slowly brought your hand behind your back and down to your thigh, where a strap was. That strap held a small bottle of pepper spray. You were smart enough to know if you wore a short dress like the one you were wearing, you may need pepper spray. You slowly brought your hand back up to the front of you and took in a deep breath.

You acted quickly, bringing the bottle to Kylo’s face and spraying a lot out. He was blinded and you took this opportunity to run out of the room, racing down the stairs and to Poe.

“We need to go, now!” You said, grabbing your clutch and his hand. Poe didn’t ask questions, just following your out of the club. The two of you knew Rey and Finn would crash at one of their apartments 

---------------------------------------------------------

You and Poe made it to your apartment without being followed by one of Kylo Ren’s “knights”. As you took off your jewelry and heels, Poe just sat on the couch, confused on why you wanted to leave.

“So, what was that about?” He asked, putting his arms on the back of your couch. 

“Kylo was at that club and I had to get out of there, that’s why I didn’t come back from the bar. I pepper sprayed him so he’s definitely pissed.” You answered, sitting down next to Poe. He put his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. “Hey Poe?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you kiss me?” 

Poe thought for a moment before kissing the top of your head. “Because I like you, and I have for a while.” Poe replied. You looked up at him, smiling. 

“I’ve liked you too for a while. That’s another one of the reasons I broke up with Kylo.” You said, giving him a kiss. Poe turned on the t.v. and the two of you fell asleep on the couch, in each other’s arms.

Knowing you had made Kylo Ren jealous, you could sleep peacefully. It was perfect.

[fuckyeahscienceparty]

Recovery

Medic's not exactly having a great day. Engie tries to negate that.

-

platonic followup to smth i wrote a lil bit ago B') but i don't have to read the other thing to get the jist.

[also on ao3!]

-

Medic bumbled into the kitchen that afternoon, still upset at himself over BLU's narrow loss earlier that day that had almost definitely been exacerbated by his absence in the time it took the cart to go from the second to fourth checkpoint.

While the rest of his team were only mildly troubled by their failings, insisting that without a doubt they'd get RED good next time, he was honestly more than prepared to throw himself a pity party for 1, having already abandoned his uniform for an old tshirt and pajama shorts even though it was currently only about 5 pm.

As Medic rummaged through the cupboard to find their rather banged up kettle, BLU's Engineer whistled his way in, opening the fridge to grab the half empty pitchers of sweet tea and lemonade he'd prepared earlier that week.

"Callin' it in early tonight?" Engie chuckled as Medic shuffled past him to open the breadbox and see what teas (rather than baked goods) they still had, Engie himself reaching for one of the recently dried cups lingering on the counter from breakfast that morning.

"Mm," was all that came from Medic in reply, Engie giving him a slightly concerned glance as he flipped through the different tea bags they had available.

When he'd decided that lavender flavored earl grey would do, he went over to the sink to fill the kettle with enough water for a decently sized cup, neither of them speaking as Medic put it on to boil and Engie poured equal parts lemonade and tea into his glass.

After adding a few ice cubes and a straw to fill it to the top, Engie cleared his throat to get Medic's attention, the good doctor himself seemingly displeased by the fact that his staring contest with the stove had been interrupted.

"You doin' alright, Doc?" He hedged, Medic merely letting out a curt "fine" before going back to staring at his barely warmed up water. Engie pouted slightly before taking a sip of his Arnold Palmer.

"You sure? I didn't see you for a while during battle earlier, what happened?" He asked, leaning against the table behind him. Medic blinked.

"You... you noticed?"

"Shuck, course I did. Hard not to notice that your buddy's gone missing when he's normally playing lord and savior for your gaggle of teammates who have a tendency to face death with a devil may care attitude," He chuckled, Medic's cold expression thawed slightly by the fact that Engie had called him his... buddy.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," He sighed, going into another cupboard to look for a mug once he'd heard a faint bubbling sound.

"No, really, what happened? I got a little worried for you," Engie insisted gingerly. Medic paused, almost taken aback by his sincerity.

"Well if you must know, it was purely out of my own idiocy," He said as he pulled out a mug with a rather cute image of a dove on it.

"Uhuh?..."

"...I was trying to get a health kit for myself. I insisted that Soldier go on without me because I'm more than capable of catching up and I rather moronically assumed all the REDs were already ahead of us and that if there was anyone there, I could handle myself just fine. To what should not have been my surprise, their Heavy had been lagging behind and shot me a few times before leaving me to bleed out and wait for respawn."

"Jeez Doc, I'm sorry," Engie winced, Medic scoffing in response.

"Don't be. It was completely my fault. If I hadn't been such a dumbass and either sucked up my injuries or asked Soldier to come with me, I wouldn't have gotten myself killed. I still can't believe I'd been so stupid."

"Hey now, don't talk about yourself like that," Engie frowned as Medic began to avoid his gaze. "You got caught off guard. It happens to the best of us."

"But that's the thing- I'm supposed to be the best of us. I'm not supposed to get caught off guard. Like you said, I'm the 'lord and savior' of this team, if I can't even keep myself alive then what kind of useless Medic am I?" Medic carped bitterly, internally grimacing when he realized he was really leaning into the whole pity party ordeal now.

He frankly expected Engie to get annoyed with him, to leave him to wallow in his own bitchiness and self pity as he took the kettle off of the stove when it began to whistle and poured all the water into his cup. He wouldn't have blamed him if he was honest, he was getting pretty annoyed with himself right now.

...But he didn't. He stayed put, his voice going into that gentle tone that made Medic feel guilty he would even think such a thing of his best friend.

"You're not useless. You're human. And humans make mistakes, Feathers, whether we like it or not. Best thing you can do is try and learn from 'em and move on. Best any of us can do, really."

Engie paused to give Medic time to absorb what he'd said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna head to the workshop, I gotta get my sentry repaired and prepped for tomorrow. If you wanna drop by and chat or just sit with me while I work, my doors are always open. But if not, that's fine too. Whatever makes you feel better. And you're always welcome to come 'round my dispenser if you ever need a pick me up during battle, ok?" Engie said as he gently pulled Medic in for a hug.

Medic felt his chest tighten in a way he wasn't exactly used to. Kind as his teammates were once you got to know them, it wasn't often he'd been offered palpable generosity like this. He hugged back, silently relishing the feeling of Engie's arms being wrapped around him.

When he eventually (and reluctantly) pulled away, he took a breath, his next words coming out in more of a whisper than he intended them to.

"...Ok. Thank you, Herr Engineer. I will most likely come by."

"Any time, hun. I'll put up a chair for you, you come by whenever you want," Engie said, giving his shoulder a final pat before grabbing his drink and heading out of the kitchen to leave Medic alone with his tea and his thoughts.

After washing the kettle and mixing in a bit of milk and sugar into his cup, he found himself standing in front of the workshop door, peering in to see its usual inhabitant singing softly under his breath as he opened one of the compartments and poured out all the collected empty bullet casings into a larger bucket of various brass scraps so he could use them for something else later.

As promised, there was an empty chair next to him, that tightening feeling coming back to Medic's chest as he made his way in.

Engie looked up at him as he did so, giving him a warm smile as he reached for his screwdriver so he could pop open the top and put in new rounds.

Medic, meanwhile sat down in his spot, leaning over momentarily to bonk his head against Engie's before taking a sip out of his still scalding cup.

Engie chuckled, moving his own chair a little closer to Medic's so that he could bump his shoulder before continuing his handiwork, the two of them enjoying each others' company in relative silence in a way that best friends often did.

After a while, Engie started singing to himself again, tapping his tools and fingers against his sentry in place of beats or actual instruments. Watching him be so content and enthusiastic about his work, Medic couldn't help but relax, continuing to sip at his tea and occasionally humming back at him, much to Engie's delight.

Eventually, when Engie had moved on to other weapon maintenance, they started talking and joking around with each other instead, Engie smiling whenever he managed to make Medic laugh and Medic resting his chin on Engie's shoulder every time he leaned over to get a better look at his progress.

And sure, the two of them would have to part eventually and Medic would inevitably have another bad day (or several) on the battlefield, but in that moment where it was just they two of them and Medic's self doubts temporarily healed, they were all that mattered to each other.

And what a wonderful thing that was.

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 7. Random thoughts.

Through some kind of mistake, Rem had completely accepted Subaru, but he knew all too well that the Subaru Natsuki she saw was an ideal far removed from the real thing. Compared with the man she envisioned in her mind, the cards that the real Subaru held were few in number, and poor in quality—

But he learned, now that he stood at the playing table, no one cared about his personal problems.

All anyone in his position could do was try to win with the cards he was dealt.

This is sign I think Subaru has grown a little bit, though he is still growing. It's not about him, and Ferris later seems like he's trying to drill that into him a bit more later when Subaru wants to help with the battle preparations. It's good that he wants to help but sometimes he's unintentionally making things too much about himself, just to ease his own feelings. There are places where he would be getting in the way if he tried to help and Subaru's learning to accept that; to be patient and give his services where he can actually be of use, not just to help himself feel better. And damn, does he put that new maturity to good use in the big battle.

Originally, these negotiations had been Rem’s appointed duty. He could easily imagine how being unable to divulge her task to Subaru and having to speak with Crusch day after day had whittled away at her spirit.

Subaru had continually rotted by himself while the future of the Emilia camp had been entrusted to her—she must have suffered under that burden.

He hoped that in some small way, this victory repaid the girl whose feelings had supported him for so long; if so, then for the moment, that was enough for Subaru to be happy.

I really like this part. Again, it's not all about Subaru. He's acknowledging how much Rem's had to deal with while he was having his breakdowns and indulgences during his prior loops, and how much she still did what she could to support him in spite of it all. We're getting a little more that she does have a life outside of just Subaru and a little more added on to why he feels he's been so selfish. It really feels like he is now doing this for her. It's not like Subaru was completely self-centered before but I imagine there were times, especially with Emilia, where he wanted to help, but he wanted to be the one to help. He wanted good things for her but part of him cared more that he was the one giving them to her, verses her just getting what she needs in general. It's like how he couldn't feel happy that Otto was in support of Emilia first time he met him, though of course that was when he was at one of his lowest points.

And, of course, I'm absolutely reveling in all the sweetness of Rem supporting Subaru through his negotiations. Even if it's just holding his hand and reminding him she's there, he clearly appreciates the strength and courage it's giving him. Obviously they're not a romantic couple but this is the kind of stuff I love to see in romantic relationships. Just the basic comfort and support they find in each other's presence.

“...If I am gone, will you remember me just as long?”

“...I don’t wanna answer that. It’s bad luck.”

Speaking with a voice of dismay, Subaru gave Rem’s forehead a little poke.

When he touched Rem’s forehead, she smiled with a happy expression, almost as if she’d received the reply she had been hoping for.

Given something I believe I've been spoiled on for what happens later in the story (after where the anime leaves off), this feels like a very cruel monkey's paw bit of foreshadowing.

“Subaru.”

“...What?”

“I am fine with being your second wife.”

They were words to make a man unwittingly halt in his tracks.

When Subaru, unable to resist, looked toward her, Rem made a face like that of an adorable puppy, seemingly wagging her tail as she awaited Subaru’s reply.

Oh, good grief, just how far is this girl gonna—?

“If Emilia-tan’s a very generous first wife...”

“Well then, when we get back you must convince Lady Emilia. I shall try hard as well.”

Rem clenched the hand not grasped into a fist, very animated as she spoke with a smile.

Speaking jokingly like that broke all the tension, driving home to Subaru how weak he was. He truly couldn’t hold a candle to the girl.

I'm...going to have to see where the story goes from here, and how truly joking/serious Rem was with that second wife line. Just to put it out there, I don't really have a good view of polygamy. I'm always going to think that, 1st wife or 2nd or 3rd or wherever, someone is always going to be treated like second best and second priority. What they're receiving doesn't feel like real love and that's not fair to them. The only way I can see myself supporting a polygamous marriage in this series is if it's made clear Emilia and Rem are attracted to each other as well as Subaru and want to bang. Then it at least becomes three people who love each other as opposed to just "the guy and his two prizes".

So, first time you read this part in the novels or watched it in the anime, was anyone else afraid of the White Whale not showing up where and when Subaru told everyone it would? Like the world would just want to gut punch him one more time and have everyone think he's a fraud? I remember I was.

One theory I have for why the witch's scent grows stronger, not just when Subaru RBD, but also when he tries to talk about RBD is that maybe the witch likes when he acknowledges her "gift" to him. But she's also quite screwed up and doesn't like it when he tries to "share" what's between them, thus why she punishes him or those around him for doing so.

In front, behind and up above, he saw yet another whale-shaped figure high in the sky, scattering mist all around.

—The infinite mouths of the three White Whales laughed together, drawing out the despair of men.

Subaru, Crusch, the soldiers, everyone, etc.

Though pests had interrupted it, the White Whale’s mission was to cover the world in mist. This, too, was the command of its instinct, and doing so was the purpose of the White Whale’s existence.

One thing I've enjoyed about the various light novel series I've been reading is that, compared to their anime, I get a better idea of various characters' and monsters' mentalities. The best example I could give would be the goblins in Goblin Slayer (that they are not mindless creatures; that they know EXACTLY what they're doing to people and they enjoy it) and this bit with the White Whale is another good one. It seeks to cover the world in its mist and thus destroy/consume/erase everything (maybe?) And it doesn't know why it seeks to do this. It just does, suggesting there is something else, possibly the one behind its creation, driving it.

It's also interesting that, to the White Whale, the witch's scent is described as foul, despite the stories that she's the one who created it. This brings to mind a couple different theories.

Satella didn't actually create the whale. Someone else, perhaps one of the other six witches did or one of the archbishops.

Satella did create the whale but maybe used one of the other witches to do it. Puck did mention something about Gluttony when he sensed the whale approaching in the last loop.

Satella REALLY cannot tell the difference between positive and negative emotions, even more so than we were already led to believe.

Kind of cruel of Rem to trick Subaru into thinking she was dying, but at least we do get Subaru's completely true feelings out in the open. Back to the polygamy matter, I don't have a problem with Subaru being indecisive between Emilia and Rem or being in love with them both. It's not just that they've done so much for him, in which case the relationship would feel just like how Emilia described, just the two of them repaying debts to each other. Both women have been a hugely positive influence on Subaru's life. They've impacted it for the better and helped push him into being more of a man he can live with being, and it works the other way around too. It would be hard to imagine his story without either of them in it. I feel the same way with Code Geass in regards to CC, Shirley, and Kallen in Lelouch's story. It was the only "harem" series I've ever watched where I had trouble saying who the MC should end up with, because all three were irreplaceable in his life and story. Take any of them out and it loses a lot. Emilia and Rem are a similar case.

As Rem looked back at Subaru, now beside her, large tears filled her blue eyes. It was not being left behind that she feared. No, what she feared more than anything was—

“When you are in distress, Subaru, I want to be the one offering my hand faster than anyone. When you hesitate along your path, I want to be the one pushing on your back. When you challenge something, I want to be at your side, stopping you from shaking. That is—that is all I wish for. So please...”

Again, more great parallels between Subaru and Rem, as this isn't dissimilar to what he wanted to do for Emilia.

Wilhelm might just be the biggest example of a tsundere I've ever seen. Married a woman he loved from the bottom of heart for what was assumedly a decent amount of time...never freaking told her "I love you" until he finally killed the beast that killed her.

As for Theresia, it's definitely a case of why context is so important. She never wanted to be the Sword Saint. She only did so because she found purpose in saving as many lives as she could with the insane power she had (the whole "great power, great responsibility" chestnut). If Wilhelm is strong enough to protect and save people, to where her absence would make no difference, then she doesn't have to be the Sword Saint anymore and can live the life she wants. It's what makes it an actual kindness vs. some chauvinistic BS. Probably helps too that she'd already helped put an end to a long war, so she wouldn't have been needed as much anyway.

“So it is said. The existence and origins of demon beasts are mysteries to us. Some propagate in the same manner as ordinary living creatures, but some suddenly appear out of nowhere like the White Whale. Though, properly speaking, the only exceptions on par with the White Whale are the Black Serpent and the Great Hare.”

Oh...I'm so not looking forward to meeting those two. After how much tragedy just the White Whale caused, what the f**k are those things going to do? My money would be that whatever it is, it will hurt Subaru quite horribly.

This book potentially answered a question I had in my last post. The Witch Cult is after Emilia because they see her as an impostor of the Witch of Envy, or at least so the characters in-story are speculating.

Not sure how many people here are fans of Rising of the Shield Hero but after this I kind of want to see the White Whale and the Spirit Tortoise duke it out. That sounds awesome. Mountain Turtle vs. Witch Fish.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gub735/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_7/

[horrorslashergirl]

Chromeskull x Cop!Reader x The Collector

A dark themed erotic novel for the twisted minds

Resume: Some things bring you nightmares and unwanted memories back. They say you can’t bury the past, because at some point it will come back. You weren’t prepared for this.

Chapter 1: Nightshift Turn Out

Chapter 2: Twisted Tongue

Chapter 3: Rising from fire like the Phoenix

Chapter 4: Video Shadows

Chapter 5: New beginning and Past memories (You are here)

Chapter 6: Lovers Reunion

Chapter 7: Sweet Blackmail 

Chapter 8: False Freedom

Chapter 9: Ugly Jealousy

Chapter 10: Sinful Ecstasy

Warning: This one contains violence and slight gore.

After three months in Jacksonville, you couldn't deny the loneliness that crawled up your very being; work was great and it paid all your necessities, so you couldn't whine about financial problems, but outside work, you were pretty much alone, saw for the fact that you took on a poodle dog to ease some of that depression. Dating just wasn't your department and most guys couldn't even live it up to put on a great conversation. You still kept in touch with some old friends from Illinois and occasionally chatted up with them to get the time going. One of your girl friends gave you some cheap advice about entering dating sites, but you knew from high school that most of these sites were full of creeps and old perverts who wanted to jack off to under-age girls. It made you almost throw up, but you took on her advice and entered one, putting on a single picture of you, but a very decent one. You weren't going to be found on a dating site with nude pictures of you, just no.

That's how you found yourself now on a Saturday night on the couch with a glass of red wine, your white-furred pet next on the couch, sleeping after a day of running with you in the park. Your laptop was on your lap, listening to some music, a separated opened window of the dating site. So far just a few guys entered to chat with you. One was living in Oregon, so too far away, another one was just flirting cheaply with you.

You wondered how your brother managed to get a girlfriend so easily. He told you that he meet her when he went to buy a new laptop; so far he was very happy with her. Her name was Spann and she worked in the business industry, you haven't met her but your brother sends you a picture of her. Definitely pretty and very professional looking. You were glad he finally found someone who will cherish him, she always came by to his apartment to help him and even cook for him. To you, it sounded like a dream partner.

You were pulled out from your thoughts by the sound of a ding, signaling that someone entered on your chatroom on the dating site. You only hoped it wasn't some creep who wanted your nudes; so you opened the window.

JSkull: Hello there.

Well, at last, it wasn't a direct 'I wanna see your boobs' message.

TattooedKitty: Hey there.

You sometimes hated your choice of username, but it was completely random, plus it had a bit f truth behind it, having your whole back tattooed. You did that in high school when you had that rebel phase, still deep inside you enjoyed the freedom you had back then.

JSkull: What's a girl like you doing on this site?

TattooedKitty: Trying to find a guy who can manage to keep a conversation, at last.

JSkull: Sassy. I like it, but trust me. You won't find that type of person here.

TattooedKitty: So, you say you cannot manage to keep up an intelligent conversation?

JSkull: Smart girl. I was joking. You don't seem like the type of woman to seek out dating sites.

TattooedKitty: Then what type of girl do you peg me as?

JSkull: Daddy's good little girl.

TattooedKitty: I'm not little and what about you? Why are you on this site?

JSkull: Kill some boredom.

That was his last reply, then he logged off. Well, that was weird and when you looked at the clock your eyes widened, remembering that tomorrow you had to go to work. You closed your laptop and went straight to bed before you filled your dog bowl with food in case she was going to wake up and be hungry later.

Somewhere else in Jacksonville...

Jesse smirked; he couldn't help but tease you and you took the bait. So, you were single? Perfect, all the easier way to get his hands on you. He looked at the silver clock on the wall of his office. After so many weeks of stalking and getting all the little information about you, tomorrow night when you will get off your shift he will strike, plus tomorrow Asa will arrive in Jacksonville.

The bald man chuckled silently, remembering how Asa always asked him how his tracking on you went. Jesse knew Asa like no other and he knew that the nerdy collector got obsessed over the little things. Jesse couldn't blame Asa, you were a piece of candy for the eyes, and he almost forgot of how many men he had to put off the dating game that was trying to get to you.

Jesse twirled one of his twin knives, looking at his reflection on the blade, scowling as the disfigured image of his face was shown. The thought of your face full of disgust when you would see him made his insides turn, a bitter feeling setting into his throat, but he pulled that feeling aside. He had to focus on the job at hand; getting his hands on you.

Yes, tomorrow would be a perfect day.

The Next Day...

Work had gone just fine, no problems and you could eat lunch in peace; you had some pizza with extra cheese and your favorite dessert, strawberry cake. It seemed like a perfect day and you were looking forward to getting home and having a bubble bath, making pour a glass of wine. You smiled as you saw the clock 10:30 AM, meaning that in just half an hour you will get off work and could head home, so you began to clean up your desk of remaining files and empty plastic coffee cups; you hated to come back to work with a mess for a desk.

You cursed yourself for having your car break and had to walk. All you were glad was that it wasn't raining tonight and it was quite a warm night. After 15 minutes of walking, you passed an alleyway but stopped when you heard some crying; it sounded womanly and your heroic heart had to make you step into the shadows, a little reluctant.

"H-Hello? Is someone there?" you asked, the whining continues and you gulped down, your instinct telling you that something bad was going to happen and you needed to get the hell out of there.

Before you could listen to your gut, a hand wrapped around your throat, slamming your body into the brick wall, knocking the breath out of you. Whoever it was, was strong, because it knocked you as you were a ragdoll.

Your eyes opened and were meet with silver metal, probably chromed. A skull mask? He was tall, very tall, you reached just his chest. He was dressed in all black, your eyes a little blinded by the red light on his shoulder. A videocamera? His gloved hand on your neck tightened, making you gasp out, your hands grasping his arm.

"W-What? What do y-you want?" you managed to ask before you felt a sting on your neck, whatever he injected into you, making you feel dizzy and weak, until you blacked out, your body falling onto the cold ground.

After 30 minutes...

He couldn't believe how easy this was; it was like stealing candy from a kid. Jesse smirked as he was driving to one of the warehouses he owned for his 'little' hobby, your body knocked out in the backseat of his Chrysler. Nitrile covered hands gripped the steering wheel as he was thinking what he will do to you once he gets there. Oh, he hoped you would scream and cry, even beg; that would be cheery on top.

After getting on the outskirts of Jacksonville, he finally got to the building. Even if you could get away, the closet town was 30 miles away, plus it was night, and cars hardly passed by here; another reason for why this was one of his favorite places.

Parking the car and stopping the engine, he got out and moved to pick up your limp body, getting inside the warehouse where many coffins laid there, some having dead bodies of past piggies inside, some of them so badly disfigured you need the dental-prints to find out who they are.

He put you inside one of the coffins, shutting the lid and waiting for you to wake up. By the dose he injected into you, you should wake up at any moment. After 15 minutes of setting up his mini-camera, he heard a groan from the coffin, a smile pulling at his lips behind chromed skull-mask.

Jesse got the drill and walked to the coffin, making a small hole into it so he could record you. You whimpered as you saw the lens of the camera, feeling like you would suffocate. Memories of when you were trapped into the red trunk came back to you. Outside, Jesse smirked seeing your panicked face and wide eyes.

"L-Let me out!" you screamed, banging on the lid, tears running down your face. This was too good.

His gloved hands were running on the lid of the coffin, his breath picking up as he saw all your reactions, the fact that he could re-watch them again and again, so much sweeter.

He loved to see you trapped, but this wasn't exactly what he was looking for, although it was highly arousing, he wanted you to fight. Taking the camera off and setting it up onto his shoulder, he opened the coffin, taking some steps back, knives in each hand.

You got out from the coffin and looked around, your eyes looking on the shiny silver mask.

"W-What do you want?" you asked, eyes puffy from crying. He twirled the knives, practically mocking you.

Then you felt your gun on the utility belt, hand grasping it and pointing it at the tall man, your eyes now pulled into a glare. Jesse tilted his head to the side, then took a step forward and a loud bang was heard, your finger pulled the trigger and shot him three times. You weren't going to make the same mistake as you did back in Illinois.

The only problem was that the man was still on his feet, a little take back that you actually used the gun on him.

Jesse wasn't dumb, and he had under his clothes a bulletproof vest. He huffed, then before you knew it he threw one of the knives at you, the sharp blade piercing your shoulder, making you release your gun and fall down on the ground.

The hit wasn't fatal, but God, did it hurt like hell, your breathing increased and you gulped down, feeling the warm blood soak your shirt. Your eyes looked up as the masked man approached you, his hand grasping your pony-tail tightly, making you stand up.

Even trough the latex material Jesse could feel how soft your hair was, and he was so tempted to use that mouth of yours on something much better than screaming, but he was a patient man.

"S-Stop it! You piece of fuck!" you screamed, only for him to tug harder on your hair, making you swallow your words. Jesse's other hand that wasn't fisting your hair, pulled out a mobile phone, typing on it very fast, then showed you the screen.

'Quite the mouth on you, piggy. Don't make me use it for something else that cursing like a whore.'

Your eyes widened, then looked from the shiny screen to the chromed mask. You were turned around, your back towards him as you felt him take your handcuffs from your belt, and with precise moves, he locked your hands together behind your back, making you completely useless.

His foot kicked one of yours, making you fall down on your knees. You could taste the blood on your mouth, the knife still impaled into your shoulder, then you heard the double doors of the warehouse open and you prayed that someone came to save you.

That wasn't it. You almost wished you were dead when you saw the bulky form dressed in black entered the building, black-gloved hands on the knives at his belt, black foam mask covering his face, and the eyes that haunted your dreams for months. Obsidian eyes looked into your eyes, your mouth open in shock.

'Finally, you came. She put up a fight. Quite the feisty kitten here.' the robotic voice came from the phone, the message directed to The Collector.

The Collector rolled his eyes and began to walk towards you two.

"Traffic. So, you got her." he said, stopping in front of you, your still shocked face making him smile, a smile that made chills creep up your spine.

"Miss me?" he asked, voice deep and mocking you.

This has to be a nightmare. Sure, and you would wake up in your bed, with your poodle cuddled by your side. Yes, it had to be.

"N-No...T-This cannot b-be real." you said in a whisper, afraid if you spoke any louder, your tongue will be cut off.

"Not real? Does this feel real?" The Collector said, gripping the knife from your shoulder and twisting it a little, making you scream and shut your eyes, more tears falling down your cheeks.

'We are gonna have lots of fun, little piggy.' the robotic voice spoke, a dark chuckle coming from The Collector and you almost fainted when the skull masked man was running one hand down your hip.

This was only the beginning, little piggy...

To be continued...

[bigbrotherlouis]

for director’s cut: the raleigh/airport scene in ‘i can’t find nothin’...’ if you would like to!!!!

ANGELA you’re gonna make me talk about sex scenes on main?! let’s DO IT

(director’s cut meme)

andrei understands, on some level, why they have to fly commercial, (i’m always going to make players fly commercial in fic if i can. direct action.)   even with a job like theirs, but in practicality, when he’s wandering around the raleigh airport at six am after their flight out is delayed, he doesn’t.

marty’s laughing at him in the way that means he’s trying to be subtle about it, but andrei’s too grumpy to care. (this was for la.) it’s too fucking early and the line for coffee is too fucking long.

“it’s too early,” he whines. marty flips over the book in his hands to read the back cover.

“boo fuckin’ hoo, bud.”

“i’m tired.” and again, in russian, “я устал.”

“не— не— i don’t care,” (i couldn’t remember how to phrase this properly and i didn’t want to look it up, plus it’s funny) marty snaps back. “it’s your own fault for watching tv until one in the morning.”

“it was gossip girl,” he mutters. “important american culture.” (in one of my transition workshops where we learned to handle moving countries, we watched mean girls as an example of american culture. true story.)

“uh huh, and degrassi is exactly how canadian high school was like.” (didn’t like the flow on this sentence but i couldn’t figure out how else to phrase it. oh well.)

andrei is, like, ninety percent sure marty didn’t finish high school in canada, but he’s not willing to take the chance that he’s wrong and get teased about it. “please, can we go to starbucks now? давай, давай.” [let’s go, let’s go] (translation is always a struggle, and even more so when it’s a different alphabet like russian. i decided to include translations when context isn’t immediately clear for the reader’s comfort. also, this is something my family does-- use a different language when we want to stress something, like svechy stressing that he wants to leave)

“talking in russian won’t get me to go any faster, svechy,” marty says, placid for the early morning, and shoves a book into andrei’s hands. “here. read this and distract yourself.”

“i don’t read until i awake.” (svechy’s syntax was hard for me to write, because i want it to be clear, true to character, and respectful all at once which is hard to balance. it’s why svech’s grammar can sometimes seem a little inconsistent-- sometimes, i chose respect and readability over true to characterization. also, transliteration of accents can make people seem childish or dumb which is absolutely not what i want!)

“sucks to suck.”

andrei grumbles under his breath, a mixture of russian and english and some of sebastian’s favourite swedish (this should be finnish. oops.) curses thrown in there too, absently drumming his fingers on the cover of the book he’s still holding. marty is paying him no attention, which almost bothers him as much as the lack of caffeine does.

he’s cocking his head to read the spines of the books in the airport store when he feels the heat of someone step behind him, too close for politeness, and he’s whirling before he can even really think about it. (there really aren’t a lot of places spies can meet up by accident without getting too repetitive, especially in something that’s supposed to be silly and short, but an airport felt plausible.)

“whoa,” says joel, stepping back out of andrei’s elbows. “easy there.”

“joel?”

“in the flesh,” he says with a grin, and andrei’s thinking about how twice is a coincidence but three times is a pattern when (this is me lampshading their constant meetups because i didn’t feel like expounding on it LOL)— “is that twilight?”

“i— what?”

“the book you’re reading.”

andrei looks down at his hands and then scowls in the general direction of the shelves. fucking marty. (this is the whole reason they’re in the bookstore. for me to make this joke about svech holding twilight.)

joel tips his head to the side and grins wider. “didn’t peg (haha peg) you for a vampire guy, but i can see it. wait, fuck, are you from transylvania?” (apologies to americans but this is a little jab at your general geography abilities)

“no, not in in russia,” he says absently. “siberia, yes. transylvania, no. why you here?”

“well, i just like to lurk around airports for fun. you see interesting people like this.”

“really.”

joel snorts. “no, i have a flight, dumbass. i’m a business bitch.” (my rule of thumb for writing joel’s dialogue is to think of the most ridiculous thing i can imagine a person saying in any given circumstance and then assigning him that line.)

“a business bitch?”

“yeah, dude. makin’ money moves n’shit.”

“you’re not following me?” andrei asks, aiming for teasing, pretending it’s not a real question. (more lampshading. i was lazy.) joel makes his eyes go wide and innocent, and mostly doesn’t succeed.

“andrew,” he says, outraged. “are you accusing me of being a stalker?”

“yes.”

“oh, so you’re definitely team edward. (this joke fell into my lap) i see how it is. can’t a bro say hi to his bro in an airport, especially after getting a decent brojob the last time they saw each other?”

andrei mouths the word brojob (i crack up every time this term is used and joel would absolutely say it) and then shakes his head. “no.”

“tough crowd. what are you doing here, buddy?”

“waiting for marty to finish so we can go to starbucks. too early and he is too slow.”

“yeah?” joel looks over at where marty is now examining the overpriced souvenirs with a very careful air, taking them off the shelves and putting them gently back. (i was very into this image) “wanna go stand in line with me?” (high romance there, bee)

strictly speaking, marty and andrei are supposed to be together when travelling, just in case someone gets snatched. it’s happened before, but andrei really, really wants something to drink before they fly out to fucking vancouver, or wherever they’re going. he can’t even remember. besides, if joel was going to snatch him, he would’ve done it earlier, in the hotel when andrei was fucked out and happy. he shrugs. (listen. i didn’t want to do any worldbuilding because it was a fun au so i did the bare minimum.)

“sure. marty, i go to stand in line,” he yells and marty waves a hand without looking up. the line stretches down the hallway, too many people patiently waiting for a rush. (i’m so familiar with this and it makes me sad just writing about it) andrei can’t fault them; he’s tired too, which is why he doesn’t realise that joel’s pulling him towards the bathrooms instead of the coffee shop, pushing him into the family stall and shoving the door closed. (i’m gonna be honest: i have absolutely no idea why i made this a sex scene. like none. i remember being halfway through and being like “....i’m writing?? airport sex??” but i don’t remember why i decided it was a good idea.)

for a second, andrei thinks this is when he gets kidnapped and killed, a rival taking him out in the crowded airport where no one can see. the bulgarian maneuver would’ve been a lot less conspicuous, but oh well. (this is referring to the bulgarian assassins who killed a journalist in the 80s? i think? with a poison-tipped umbrella and i’m just now realising that’s probably not common knowledge)

instead, joel clicks the lock in place and presses up close, plastered to the front of andrei.

“wha—” says andrei, but it’s swallowed up in joel’s mouth, swallowed up in the kiss that joel gives him. he kisses back, of course he does, because it’s a fucking good kiss. joel hums, coaxing his mouth open for a minute and then biting on his lower lip before pulling away. he doesn’t go far, hands skimming down andrei’s body until he drops to his knees on the dirty bathroom floor.

“we are in a toilet,” andrei hisses. “in an airport.” (svech has the practical response)

joel shrugs, giving him the biggest shit-eating grin as he undoes his belt. (joel is never not going to be smug) “guess you have to be fast, then. besides, i owe you one.”

technically, he still got off last time, even if it was pretty basic, it’s not like andrei’s going to say no, not when joel is looking so eager and mischievous.

“don’t make too much noise,” instructs joel, (i realised after i posted the fic that both blowjobs start with someone giving instructions and i’m gonna say it’s because it’s a literary parallel and not because i don’t know how to transition into sexual acts) and then he’s got his mouth on andrei’s dick and andrei can’t think of anything else to say. he bangs his head against the door and clamps a hand over his mouth, digging his fingers of his other hand into the wood behind him.

joel is good enough that andrei’s not going to last long, not like this, getting off on the secrecy of it all. (read: i just didn’t want to write a lot. but also i think svechy has an exhibitionist streak in him and joel definitely does) it’s a tiny bit shameful in the way that makes him groan into his palm, makes him rock his hips into joel’s hot mouth. joel just hums around andrei’s dick and that’s— okay, that’s a lot. andrei’s gonna get a splinter under his nails from digging so hard, or maybe he’s gonna die on the spot, or like something because joel pulls off to just go right back in again and fuck. (fun fact! i’ve never had sex i don’t know what i’m writing)

“fuck,” he hisses through the meat of his hand. “fuck!”

it’s too loud, probably, and joel’s eyes flick up to his with a warning.

“sorry,” andrei breathes. joel pinches his thigh, sharp enough to sting, and embarrassingly, that’s what makes him come with a noise between a breath and a whine.

“baller,” (joel pick something less sexy to say i dare you) joel says smugly when andrei comes back to earth, enough of a douche move that andrei can’t help but roll his eyes. he flicks joel on the cheek.

“you suck.”

he grins. “well, yeah. obviously.” (low hanging fruit but he’d say it so i wrote it)

“idiot,” andrei mutters and then tugs on joel’s shoulders until he stands up, pulls him in until he can nudge at joel’s jaw with his nose. “i help you?”

joel shakes his head, his hair tickling the side of andrei’s cheek. “nah, i like it when you owe me. hey, does it count as being part of the mile high club if we’re still on the ground?” (i was literally in the middle of posting this fic to ao3 before i realised i had not made a mile high joke which was unacceptable. typed it right into the text box)

“no?”

“damn. it’s on my bucket list.”

“you so weird,” andrei tells him, not managing to keep the fondness out of his voice, and then yawns so hard his jaw cracks. “i’ll pay you back with a drink.”

“oh my god,” says joel and then pinches andrei in the side so he twitches. “i just gave you the best airport blowjob—”

“only airport blowjob.”

“the best fucking airport blowjob of your life, and you’re thinking about drinks? fuckin’ ridiculous, andrew.”

“not andrew, yo-el.” (this is svech getting back at joel as best he can. trying to give it as good as he gets it. establishing banter!!)

“sure, bro,” joel mumbles and andrei shoves at him so he can get his pants back on, fumbling with the door. “next time better be fuckin’ phenomenal. you owe me big time.”

“excuse me, you said it was payback. we equal.”

“maybe i changed my mind,” joel says with a grin, bumping him with his hip.

“maybe i disappear forever,” he replies, halfway between teasing and halfway to serious. joel reaches up to fix his snapback (this is also for la.) and shrugs.

“nah, you’re too sweet to do that.”

“i’m not sweet.”

“uh huh, bro. keep tellin’ yourself that shit.”

the line’s gone down, incredibly, and they’re close enough to the counter that andrei has to start thinking about what to order. he should probably get something for marty, or risk getting whined at all flight.

“yo,” says joel when they’re two people away from the barista. “you got digits?”

andrei hesitates and then holds up his hands, wriggling his fingers. “uh. yes?” (it’s probably more in character for real life joel to ask for instagram instead but this joke made me laugh so much that i couldn’t bear to leave it out. also it’s a little fun second language moment)

joel blinks at him for a long second and then breaks out into a wide smile, shaking his head. “nah, not those. i mean, like, a phone number.”

“i don’t have a phone,” he mutters and then pulls one out of his pocket. (YES this is a tumblr post ripoff but svech wasn’t just going to give it up so easily so in it went) “okay, give.”

he dutifully types out the sequence joel rattles off and then sends a smiley face to the number when joel makes him text.

“cool. now we can text instead of ambushing each other in public.”

“that not me,” andrei tells him. “all you.”

“you’re jumpy and it’s cute.”

“i’ll delete your number. block it.” he warns and joel waves a hand.

“yeah, yeah,” he says cheerfully and then leans over to tell the barista what he wants to drink. it’s the most ridiculous sugary concoction, hardly any coffee, and andrei stares at him in horror. (this is projection for my horror at some of the things i’ve seen in american coffee shops. that’s just. so much sugar. also prime chirping opportunity to show their personalities and dynamic a little)

“you gonna drink that?” he asks and joel frowns a little. “is just sugar. candy.”

“yeah, so? it tastes so good.”

“you not gonna have teeth.” he orders two cold brews and pays. “you gonna die early from sugar.”

“somehow,” joel says with a sparkle in his eye, “i don’t think it’s gonna be the sugar that’ll nerf me in the end.” (minor foreshadowing here! also lmao @ the thought of joel saying nerf) 

he gets his vanilla bean java chip unicorn whatever frappuccino— literally, what the fuck— and takes a satisfied sip.

“disgusting,” says andrei. “no more kissing for you.”

“aw, bud, how am i gonna practice? you said i needed it.” (it’s not stated in the fic but joel learned how to flirt from watching tk and patty and i think it shows) 

“lost cause,” he tells him airily. he’s about to suggest something— he’s not even sure what— when someone appears over joel’s shoulder.

“farabee,” the guy says. he looks stern, but that might be the impressive beard. or the death glare he’s levelling andrei’s way. “where the fuck have you been?”

joel brandishes his drink. “caffeinating it up, g. stayin’ alert and awake.” (real life joel has said this at least once to claude, and i will stand by that statement)

g’s frown gets deeper. “we’re going to miss our flight.”

“nah, we’ve got time— oh, shit. yeah, we gotta bounce, bruh, but i’ll catch you later? text me.” (inelegant departure but my goal was to not overthink things in this fic, like i’m prone to do, so i left it) he almost literally get pulled away by his elbow, towed by his ginger friend through the airport so he can enthusiastically wave his goodbye.

“well,” marty says out of nowhere, reaching for his cold brew and making andrei jump. “there’s good news and bad news.”

“okay.”

“the good news is that he’s cute and somehow into your stupid face.” he takes a long drink, conscious that andrei is about to hit him for making him wait and enjoying it very much. (he’s dramatic and also i wanted to draw out the surprise a little) andrei needs new teammates.

“the bad news?” he prompts.

“the bad news,” repeats marty, grimacing. “the bad news is that he’s definitely in the same line of work as us.”([john mulaney voice] the other shoe just dropped.)

everything in andrei’s head grinds to a stop. “uh. what?”

“i recognize his handler. giroux, french canadian division.” (i’m gonna work g into fic when i can bc i love him)

“joel’s american,” he says absently and marty takes another drink, shrugging.

“so philly’s an international cooperation team. (this was my way of making the international aspect of the spy teams make sense, and also to not have this be enemies-to-lovers, as much as i love that trope) can’t imagine that ever happening.” he gives svech a look which, yes, andrei knows they work together because of a treaty or whatever, but still. he wants marty to be wrong about joel, for so many reasons.

mainly because he doesn’t like feeling like he’s been conned, not when he’s so good at doing the conning, and this is a big one. (it’s not my fic if there’s not at least a little angst!)

“fuck,” he says glumly. marty pats him on the shoulder.

“well,” he says. “at least he’s cute.” (marty’s trying to show his support for svech here! he just wants good things for his friend :)))

that was so fun to do, thank you so much for asking! ily!! <3 <3 <3

[hedgefairy]

Well hello there. While I'm waiting for that breeches video I've been talking about to finally upload, here's

Bridgerton, Episode 4

Phew, half time!

If you've missed the other ones, the tag is Bridgerbore, btw.

Okay, so we start of with Dukey who's going home-ish because drama and heartbreak in the last episode. Stop pretending, nobody takes your pouting seriously! We all know it's twu wuv!

Erm. So, I know, I'm white and this is a delicate matter, but I gotta say I'm not super happy about the whole POC-justifying explanation here. I'd much rather have no explanation at all, it worked perfectly well in Merlin, and this is just as much historically inspired fantasy just with less magic, which I'm honestly quite upset about. I'd be far more okayer with the costumes and overall ugh-ness if there was magic.

But honestly, I'm not a fan of shoehorning that explanation in (it doesn't seem to come up in the books, either, where everyone is basically a baguette in terms of whiteness). The fact that the implications aren't discussed any further makes it even worse. We're talking about the British empire here, and while POC are apparently part of the society (but with more pressure, which... no, this is not how nobility works) the wealth and luxury of this age still stems from the exploitation of POC everywhere else. How isn't there a revolution going on? How is this not talked about? From all I see, Bridgerton is a fluffy, pastel, nice alternate version of the 1800s, and I don't get why anyone would put politics in there instead of just doing what TV tropes refers to as "colourblind casting" and be done with it. Either you do the alternate history thing thoroughly, or you just cast people for being pretty (and maybe good actors) instead of the idea the audience might have about a character's skin colour and have weird costumes and just roll with it.

Also the Queen's marriage seems to suck. I would have liked a deeper, more heartbreaking connection between George III and her, especially because I saw how my Grandmother suffered when she gradually lost my Grandfather to dementia, and it would have been a scene where we could see Charlotte as a person rather than a weird plot device in tafetta and bling, but no, she just seems as annoyed and bored and snappish as ever.

This is getting far too serious. Where's the snark?

We get some Tchaikovsky in the background, which is weird, tbh. Yes, I'm perfectly fine with them covering Top 40s hits and using waltzes from the 1950s, but I draw the line at something from the second half of the 19th century! It's not right! It screams its time of origin all over the place, and even worse, most of the characters would probably actually get to hear it later in their lives, it's not a decent anachronism, it just feels like bad research! This is serious business!

No really, where's the snark?

Oooh, I get it now. That was when I was really, really done with bingeing this show. Yes, I tried to get through as much of it as possible in one sitting. The notes read, in very shaky handwriting

I cannot possibly take more than that

in one day

, so let's continue a few days later when I felt like I could muster the courage to face it again.

So yes, I'm pretty sure this waltz is to young for this show.

Aww, look at that, flirting over cheese! I also like that one of the Featherington girls (I can't really tell the non-Pennys apart) has a suitor, they deserve nice things, too.

The musicians are a mood.

WTF with the hair and the strass. We don't like the strass. Make it go away.

I love Prince Freddy. The poor boy. It's doomed from the start!

Ah, Dukey (also at the ball, even though he was whining about things earlier) gets a heartbeat in the background, because twu wuv.

Middle Bridgerbro goes and meets with the Bohéme. I want more of that! That's finally interesting! That's my people! There's a cool bohemian lady with a pretty dress! People look interesting! Aaaah!

There's a random 18th century burlesque singer at this Regency ball, we need to talk about this. Oooh, it's Opera Girl! Cue Lord B turning into even more of an idiot while Ma Bridgerton tries to hook him up otherwise.

Of course Philippa (that's one of the Featherington Girls) can't possibly have anything nice. Thanks, Dad. You don't get to marry someone you like, that's the people across the street's thing! (by which I of course mean the Bridgertons, just in case anyone forgot the location layout here.)

Eloise is being weird to the housekeeper.

"Are you not supposed to be the smart one", the housekeeper retorts and I'm feeling it, followed by a "WTH, hero" about how servants are too busy to be Gossip Girl, you privileged prat. I think I actually snorted.

Penny gossips with Ducktail Colin, but he's more interested in Cousin, whose dress looks like it was made from the cheap curtains my ex best friend had in his first semester at uni, and God, I hate Daphne's kerchief.

Poor Prince Freddie is trying to propose to Protagonis Girl but of course there's Dukey in the background so she simply must run outside as dramatically as possible where he can find her as she equally dramatically rips the necklace Freddie gave her from her milky white throat. P&P-ish banter ensues. Yawn.

Dukey: * broods *

Daphne: * dramatically exits *

Dukey: * romantically follows her*, and oooh, snogging ensues, oooooh, instant second base, but Bridgerbro the Eldest (known also as Lord B) intervenes.

Lord B: "Marry her!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "Bitch!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "I want satisfaction!"

Me: "Don't we all"

Daphne: "You'd rather die than marry me?!"

(the fuck with her hair)

Middle Bridgerbro is still at the Bohéme-party, and still draws (naked people!). Gay vibes ensue, it's cute. This is Netflix after all, and it took four episodes to get some LGBTQ+ representation!

The Featherington's housekeeper looks a lot like O'Brien from Downton.

Cousin tells Penny about what a cutie Ducktail Colin is, also Penny's "night gown" is really cute (it's not a night gown. She's still wearing stays. It's also the only thing in the whole series that fits her well so far). Penny is super upset but gets interrupted by a hyperfocused Eloise. They fight, and Penny goes on about being mature and not being a "pretty Bridgerton", and that Eloise wouldn't understand. I get her, though, and really, having a perfect family and a "bad" family is such lazy writing.

Somber blah blah between Lord B and Daphne happens and Middle Bridgerbro gets dragged into it. He's informed that his life is pretty much over either way (either way being Lord B dying or being exiled for killing Dukey in the scheduled duel) because his oder bro basically just wants out of his duties. Sucks to be him.

Boxing Bro has to host a frustrated, possibly blueballed Dukey and offers himself up as a second for the duel.

Lord B goes and pleads with Opera Girl to get back with him (doooooon't) because of his little duelling plot and of course intercourse ensues. Girl, where's your self-respect?

Lord F comes into his dark study (we haven't seen much of him yet overall, he probably was too busy gambling) and hark, there's Lady F like the mafia boss I feel she should be, wo berates him about said gambling and that they're broke and how much he sucks. He starts crying, thumbs up for male vulnerability!, but it's kinda played for laughs via her awkward patting of him. Because of course (and I bet the late Daddy Bridgerton would never have lost his composure like that, but he didn't gamble, either, and these are the Featheringtons)

Lord B leaves Opera Girl for THE DUEL (I feel like this almost deserves a ™ by now).

We get gallopping horses! The drama! The panache! Daphne asks Ducktail Colin where it's going down because she wants to stop them, insert pandering feminist ranting about her choosing her own life but I don't really feel it and I wonde where her bangs go when she sleeps because her hair looks so different all of a sudden.

Lord B makes Middle Bridgerbro promise to care for Opera Girl in case he dies.

More gallopping horses! Daphne and her billowing cloak are pretty epic, to be honest, and there's Ducktail Colin on her heels. It's basically a family outing now!

Ugh, I like the seconds in this duel so much more. They should just off and go for a pint or something and leave Lord B and Dukey to their misery.

Duelling protocol ensues. Ten steps, blah blah, nice camera work, though.

Daphne full on rides into her brother's bullet, but she's fine (it would have been so dramatic, can you imagine? It would have been interesting!).

Oh no, they were seen (by her romantic rival, back when they had the dramatic make-outery in the park at the ball after the botched proposal. Sorry, Cressida is such a much better name than Daaaaphneeee. I have a RPG character called Cressida, I might be biased.), she's ruined if they don't marry!. and so she is basically emotionally blackmailing him into marrying her. But he can "never give [her] children!", and goes on how she deserves a household full of love like her family home because the Bridgertons are such a perfect family. God, they all annoy me so much.

Daphne ends the duel by saying that the Duke and her are to be married, with a pained facial expression, no less. I think I just wanna throw a pie in her face or something.

And that concludes Episode 4. That was a long one! Only four more to go! So this is

To be Continued!

Thank you for making it this far with me!

[rocket-remmy]

Captain Moose and The Vicious Vampire || Otto and Remmy

TIMING: Late September PARTIES: @gravityfissure and @whatsin-yourhead SUMMARY: Remmy tries on their new fair prize for size. Otto needs to stop taking walks at night.

Ever since Bea’s birthday party, Remmy had been feeling an uplift in their mood. There was still a lot to be worried or even upset about, but if there was one thing they had learned, it was that attitude was more important than the situation. If they could just keep their head up, then things wouldn’t seem so bad. Couldn’t be so bad. They would find a way to fix things, and they’d find a way to fit into their new life. Even if they still felt that little tremor of panic when they went outside. Going for walks daily had helped, but Remmy still had an aversion to going outside at night. Today, they’d donned their new craft fair socks and spent most of the day walking around the common. And the more they walked, the more confident they felt. In fact, they began wondering why they didn’t go out more. There were so many people who needed help. A kid whose ice cream had fallen needed a new cone. A woman who had lost her phone needed help finding it. (They found it one of the trash cans wrapped in her sandwich paper). A man was following a girl home and Remmy stepped in to stop him, giving a pleasant, innocent smile and badgering him till the girl was safe inside.

 But there was more to be done. They couldn’t let anyone see their face, though, right? They needed to be careful about this. They needed some sort of disguise. Perhaps a mask. Maybe even a cape, to cover themself with should the need arise. Morgan was out for the night, as was Deirdre, and Remmy took it upon themself to dig through the linen closet, grabbing the first things they could find that looked good enough. Snipped it to fit right, cut out holes or the eyes, and then donned their favorite shirt-- “Home is wherever my dog is”-- a pair of black pants and their only pair of boots. Gloves for extra measure, in case punching needed to happen. It was with this set up-- a cape with little cat’s with witch’s hats on, and a bandana for a mask that was a pink, sparkly galaxy, full of glitter-- that they found themself trouncing through the alleys of White Crest. And when they saw a shadowy figure following someone down an alley, they knew it was time to swoop in. 

It was late and recent events had left Otto feeling more drained than he cared to admit. Being dragged along on Deirdre’s shroom adventures had very real and damaging repercussions. One that had ended in the operating theatre and doctors claiming it was no small miracle by which he’d survived the impaling he’d suffered after his ‘fall’. The pain meds he’d been given took the edge off, but work rolled on and there was hardly any time that could be taken off even for a through and through laceration meaning the walk home at 3AM was inevitable. 

 The pain meds were also the reason Otto failed to notice the creature silently stalking him down the alleyway until it launched itself at his back colliding with enough force that he staggered, tipped over some bins and fell with an echoing clang while claws slashed and teeth gnashed; seeking purchase anywhere they might be capable of rending flesh from bone. “Fuck!” blind fingers scrabbled, seeking anything that might be able to help until they curled around a trash can lid dragging it across and shoving it in the way of the creature’s teeth. “”Help!” as if that would do anything. In a town like this he was almost certainly done for. Hells, what an underwhelming way to go out.

 The poor man in the alley was thrown from his spot by the larger, hulking figure. Remmy swooped down quickly. “Halt!” they shouted, the towel rustling behind them. The vampire, confused, turned to look at them. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own, erm--” Remmy looked the vampire up and down, realizing how much taller they were than them, but swallowed, standing confident again, “--strength!” Yeah, that made sense. That made a lot of sense. The vampire, still confused, dropped the other man and turned to face Remmy. “And who the fuck are you supposed to be, then, huh? This ain’t comic con, kid, go back to where you--” but before he could finish his sentence, Remmy had grabbed the front of his shirt and was tossing him up and over them. He landed hard on his back at the entrance of the alleyway, crashing into a few trash cans on his way. Remmy smirked. “Wanna try that again, villain?” they asked, before turning to look back at the guy. His arm was already in a sling, it was a good thing they’d shown up. “Are you alright?” they asked, holding a hand out to him. 

 Otto tasted asphalt and felt the sting of the ground against his face as he skidded to a stop. He also felt a wet stickiness against the lower right quadrant of his tee and a pain that made him suspect the stitches he’d gotten had popped, his hand immediately went to as voices continued behind him. Pushing himself over awkwardly, Otto propped himself up against one of the walls staring at the weird scenario playing out in front of him. A scenario whereby a masked and caped hero seemed to think it fitting to swoop in and save the day in- was that cape printed with cats wearing witches hats? The fuck? He blinked in apparent confusion, those pain meds must’ve been doing something seriously fucked up to his head. No way was his imagination usually this creative. But then the caped crusader was rag-dolling the vampire into the bins and Otto couldn’t bring himself to question the weirdness of this. “Uh.... sure?” his eyes flickered back to the pissed off looking vampire getting up out of the trash as he cautiously took the proffered hand and clambered to his feet still looking over the figure’s shoulder, “might uh-- wanna do something ‘bout that guy.”

 The poor, innocent civilian looked pretty banged up and scared, but that was okay. Remmy was here to rescue him now. Turning back as the villain rose from his heap on the ground, shaking garbage from his limbs and glaring them down. “Don’t worry-- I’ll take out the trash!” They spoke with a crooked smirk on their face, before running straight at the vampire, catching him off guard. Two punches to the face startled him enough to nearly topple him again, and Remmy spun to give him a good kick straight to chest. The vampire went flying from the alley, landing in the middle of the street and tumbling a few feet before skidding to a stop. “If I were you, I’d give up now,” they said, hands on their hips, as the vampire scraped himself up from the street, skin scored from the asphalt. Shaking his head, fangs bared, he leapt at them. Remmy shook their head, disappointed, before striking up another stance. They quickly moved out of the way, expecting him to turn and follow them but-- “Hey!” the beastly man kept going, charging at the victim in the alleyway. “Oh no!” they shouted, leaping for the vampire, trying to stop him before he got to the man. Fists dug into the vampire’s shirt, yanking, and the two went tumblring to the ground hard, rolling just past the wounded man. “Don’t even think about it,” they demanded, wrenching his arm up behind his back.

 Otto could only stare at the weird scene unfolding in front of him. The corny one-liners ripped straight out of some kind of comic strip that he’d normally roll his eyes at. Hells was this what his life had become? But the stranger seemed intent on fulfilling their caped crusader fantasy and hey? Who was he to stop them from punching his would-be assailant in the face. It was kind of entertaining to watch all things considered, at least, it was until he had a full grown vampire bearing down on him again. “Oh fuck!” he ducked out of the way just in time to see them both go toppling by and feeling the need to help grabbed the nearest thing he could find; a half broken baseball bat sticking out of a dumpster. It would have to do. Rushing up to the duo he slammed the wood with a sickening crack against the back of the vampire’s skull twice for good measure. If he could just get a decent angle it wouldn’t be hard to shove the splintered bat through this bastard’s heart. It was the least he deserved Otto just needed to find an opening.

Remmy ducked and rolled with the vampire, slamming him to the ground, just in time to be thrown onto their own back, slamming against the ground. It didn’t exactly hurt, but the surprise caught them off guard enough to not be able to right themselves in time to dodge the incoming fist to their face. The vampire’s hand curled around the eye patch on their face and yanked, pulling off. Remmy tried to push them off, only to hear wood crack against the back of his skull. The man flopped down, face first into the cement. Ow, that was gonna hurt in the morning. Wincing, Remmy shoved them off and scrambled to stand, stumbling only slightly. They looked down at him, then over to the man they’d been trying to save, watching him raise the splintered bat above the vampire’s heart. “No!” they said, running over and grabbing for the bat. “Don’t kill him! You can’t kill him!”

 The cry for mercy came right at the very moment the splintered wood of the bat plunged downward piercing the flesh of the dazed undead creature. Good riddance. Otto thought, grunting as he put his full bodyweight behind the act before the piercing scream echoed off the walls of the darkened alley. There was a bright flash of flame as though the figure had been doused in gasoline before vanishing into nothing but ash and leaving Otto to fall to his knees breathing hard. The clatter of wood on asphalt rang loud and clear. The tremors came a few moments later as the adrenaline began to subside. “He-- He was trying to kill me!” 

 “No, no, wait--” Remmy tried again, but they were too late. The wood splintered through the vampire’s back, and in an instant, he was dead. They stood still for a moment, unbelieving of their eyes, before dropping to their knees. “You killed him,” they stuttered, “why-- why would you do that? I had it handled!” They stood up again and began rooting around the alley, looking for a container-- something they could scoop the ashes up into. They needed to move them. Even if that vampire had been attacking someone, they needed to lay him to rest somewhere that wasn’t an alley filled with garbage. “You can’t-- you can’t justify killing with more killing! That’s not how it works! You have to-- someone has to break the cycle,” they said to the man, “someone has to be better.”

 “You had it handled? How do you call him almost ripping my throat out two times handled??” There was a minor note of panic in his voice as Otto waved at the pile of ash that was being blown away by an autumnal breeze drifting through the alleyway. He tossed the piece of wood aside, backing up one step and then two away from the strange caped crusader. “Break the cycle?” his expression mirrored his look of disbelief at the sheer faith this individual seemed to have in law, order and justice. He couldn’t help the slight huff under his breath “break the cycle of death? In this town? Good fuckin’ luck with that.” No way that was going to happen after all. But hey if they wanted to hop on that train bound for failure who was he to stop them? “Sorry Captain Washline, that sort of sunshine BS really isn’t gonna fly here.”

 “But he didn’t rip your throat out! I saved you!” Remmy insisted, feeling their chest heave again. This man was yelling at them when all they’d done was help. Sure, they made a little mistake, but everything had turned out alright. Except for the dead vampire. Remmy found a jar and started scooping the ash into it, looking over at the man with a furrowed brow. “Yeah, well, with that attitude, of course you wouldn’t think it was possible. But it’s gotta start with someone,” they muttered, standing up straight. “It’s Captain Moose to you, too,” they snapped, closing the lid on the jar. “And you’re welcome. For saving your ass.” They brushed their hands off and started heading out of the alley way. “You can believe whatever you want to, but I’m going to believe in the good of people. Even you, Mister Stakes-a-lot.” 

 “I don’t count near brushes with death as good things but thanks.” Otto answered shortly still wondering how of all the people in this town to come to his rescue it was someone dressed in a witch hat cat cape. The town certainly knew how to make a niche even its so-called heroes didn’t stick to the norm. His eyes narrowed a fraction, half tempted to ask if there were antlers to go with that name. “Aye, sure,” he tipped a salute from his temple, scoffed and backed into the alley. Hells he needed to stop going out after dark. 

 As the man said his last words-- more like spat-- Remmy stuck the jar in their pocket and sighed. He was backing away and taking off now, not even a thanks in tow. But then again, they hadn’t done it for the thanks, right? They’d done it to feel like they could still help someone, that they still could be worth something. They sighed again, gathering up their cape and brushing off their pants, then turned to head out of the alley as well. They patted the jar in their pocket. “So,” they asked, glancing left and right, “where should we spread your ashes?”

[sugarandspice-games]

I guess this is becoming a trend... I’m popping in before the actual intro to clarify-- if the text is in italic, it is me (Sugar) talking and regular is Spice. Alright? Cool. And so--

So, one night I’m going through youtube and I come upon this one shitposty video about some random anime that I’ve never even heard of. After doing some research, I discover that it’s actually based on a dating sim that I’ve also never heard of. As a joke I was like “Hey Sugar wanna watch this as a joke, it might be funny” and so we did. And uhm. Well.

Today we’re gonna be reviewing Brothers Conflict, aka Sweet Home Alabama 2: Electric Anime Boogaloo aka the anime that ruined our lives. [Again, disclaimer: neither Sugar nor I condone incest and/or pedophilia, two themes which are uh, very rampant in this anime which is why I cannot recommend it in good faith. It’s not good, don’t get me wrong. I can’t really say that I liked it even if watching it and ragging on it was kind of enjoyable, and I did get attached to some of the characters because that’s the kind of idiot I am. Also, we’re not shirking our duties to write I swear please don’t kill me--] Anyway, an obligatory SPOILER WARNING though this probably isn’t going in the main tag bc I do not want the fans to publicly stone me. Why are we reviewing this? Bc we need to talk about it somewhere. Though I say review lightly bc this... is really more of a critique.

ALSO we only watched the anime, idk if things are different in the game. There is no full english translation for the games and most of the LP channels have been copyright striked, so please don’t come at us for not knowing anything. I also know that otome games and dating sims don’t tend to translate well to anime, and I will be addressing this later.

So, dear god, where do I begin.

Where do we begin indeed? How about the fact that her name is Ema and I had to google to remember the heroine’s name? Also, she is seventeen.

Our plot, or well... what you COULD call a plot, I guess, if you REALLY wanted to give this anime that much credit, focuses on the aforementioned seventeen year old Hinata Ema, who has an absent father who apparently FOUND THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED BUT NEVER HAS A SECOND TO SPARE FOR HIS ONLY CHILD, RINTARO I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TAKING CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD. HAND HER OVER-- Anyway. He’s getting married to a woman who has 13 sons (jesus christ ma’am have you ever heard of a condom?) and he decides to move her in with them because... I guess he has less braincells than I have balls, which is to say, zero. Hi, I’m trans.

So, Ema moves in with them... along with her talking grey squirrel, Juli. Juli is... interesting and by interesting, I mean-- ABSOLUTELY PUZZLING. He, apparently, has seen the majority of Ema’s life from babyhood to teenagerhood and can talk but is only understood by Ema (who he calls Chii) and Louis, the eighth son in the Asahina family. It is never explained why, or how Chii came across him or how in an episode, a single episode, he becomes human because why the hell not, I guess??? (Also, he is pretty. YES. I said it. Fight me.) [Quick Spice intervention, this squirrel can talk to people, transform into a human, enter dreams, and live way longer than a squirrel should since the average lifespan of a squirrel is like 6 years in the wild. Juli is apparently a god as none of this is EVER explained.]

And when she meets the Asahina family, it’s pretty much immediately chaos because these heterosexual (I guess? They look like a bunch of twinks to me but there goes anime trying to convince me that straight people are real and not a lie made up by Trump) men have NEVER and I mean NEVER known a woman in their entire lives, since they seem to want to bang their stepsister immediately. And most of them are GROWN ASS ADULTS. Only three of them are actually minors (though Iori is 18 and only one year older so I guess??? It’s okay??? But still weird) and one of them is a 13 year old who looks and acts like he’s 8.

Oh, and did I mention that out of these boys, only the adult triplets and the abusive asshole 16 year old get any kind of characterization AND character development? I mean, Subaru gets an “arc” if you can call it that, but really, they don’t give him much... personality. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and it’d be the same. I feel bad for him (but not really because dude you are 20 and she is your sister, what the fuck--)

But if there’s anything good about this anime, it is the characters themselves. Several of the boys have redeeming qualities and interesting personalities and quirks, as well as interesting relationships and dynamics with each other. Yes, some of them are lacking in the plotline department while others may have decent plotlines and lack personality, and then some of them are just given absolutely nothing (COUGH Masaomi COUGH Ukyo COUGHCOUGHCOUGH Iori, and by the way, what the fuck is that game plotline bc I read the wiki since I wanted to know more about him. We don’t have time to unpack the mento illness luv. But you’re telling me they had all this meat to work with and they threw it in the trash and gave him nothing? What the hell?) And if anything, I feel as if the characters themselves are crippled by the plotline. If given a different story, perhaps, they may have room to shine, because a lot of them are compelling if not lovable (though some may not be... lovable. COUGHFuuto, at least not for me.) If you want to see our review on the characters, we’ll put out another post.

Iori... Iori has a hell of a plot in the game, according to the Wiki but I can’t blame the writers for not exploring all of it because whoa. It is dark and not in a good way. But back to the subject at hand... I agree with Spice. I do/did like quite a lot of the characters... provided the entire romantic plot is taken away but we will go into more of why the plot is problematic below. All I can really add is: There is a baby in this dumpster and canon has been taken out back to be shot like a lame horse.

This brings me to a point in which I would like to pause the character discussion and bring up a glaring flaw with this anime in general (aside from the... plot. Look, I’m not a huge fan of weird stepsibling stuff but I think that if you want to do something like that, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. This was the way not to do it, which I’m getting to). The biggest thing that made this anime so uncomfortable was the imbalance of power dynamics. Why is the protagonist 17 when most of the love interests are 18 and older, and I mean much, much older? And she’s not any 17 year old... she’s a lonely, neglected girl who is starved for the love of a family. This makes her easily manipulated by the brothers, who clearly desire her for less than wholesome reasons, and that makes it skeevy. I’m not sure why there’s such a fetishization of nonconsent in media, as if it’s fine for as many men to lust after female protagonists as the writer desires BUT the woman can’t want a single one of them in return. It’s creepy, and quite frankly, I am very much over it. I also get that the age thing is probably a product of the protagonist of a teenager oriented dating sim not translating well to an anime (because really, all otome game MCs are meant to be a neat little pair of shoes for the player to imagine themselves in), but why are we fetishizing a teenager being groomed by adults anyway? Especially adults who have this much power over her to begin with? The power dynamics bring this plot from “Oh, this might be kinda trashy but it could be entertaining” to “This is extremely creepy and rapey and kind of a dumpster fire.”

This is also true. If we were to take age into consideration, Fuuto, Yusuke, and Iori would be the three candidates left for Chii. This is taking out the youngest as well, who is... thirteen, I think? But anyway, (I know I am probably going to get some hate for this but go for it), I am into stories that explore the stepsibling thing and it can make a good narrative-- but before everyone gets uppity: There is a line between FICTION and REALITY and I do not condone real life incest but a story is a story and there are ways to frame it that make it clear that it is not a romantic thing, or acceptable. This anime does not do that in it’s dynamics because some of the brothers do start off in that very firm caregiving, family role and it is a sharp turn into romance that makes you go, “?” or in Fuuto case, a blending that does lean into fetishization.

All in all I think the plot maybe could have been okay? I’m not saying it isn’t problematic, because we all know it is, who are we kidding? But I don’t think it’s wrong per se to explore family dynamics with romance and to understand where the line should be drawn, and maybe exploring the definition of family itself. I have seen fanfictions with similar tropes ask those questions and explore the concept beautifully without romanticizing or fetishizing incest and unhealthy power dynamics. It could have been good, and I get that perhaps I’m barking up the wrong tree by expecting mature themes in an anime based on an otome game, but it also could have been a lot less... creepy (I have used that word so much that it looks wrong now) even if it wasn’t the greatest thing ever. But again, what was I expecting? I watched this whole thing as a joke and ended up attached to the characters like a fool... That tends to be a trend here, and this is why we are so salty all the time. So anyway, stay tuned for our review of the characters! We may not cover all of them since some of them don’t really get anything, but we’ll cover what we found interesting.

[strangerivy]

The Beginning - Thirteen

Summary:  The group still trapped in the school, tries to come up with a plan to get out but everything feels against them. Warnings: Swearing | Violent Depictions Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x Original Character (Kacy) Genre: 18+ | Fluff | Angst Word Count: 3.5k Author’s Note:  I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter, please let me know what you think! I’m always open to feedback! 😊

|| One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Masterlist ||

Arguments started to break out between everyone as we tried to figure out our next move. Jackson Lydia and Allison wanted to call the cops and Stiles was against it refusing to contact his dad, rightfully so considering the situation we were in. But they didn’t know the full story. They didn’t know that the killer wasn’t Derek Hale. They didn’t know it was an Alpha Werewolf.

“That’s it,” Lydia said stepping away from them pulling out her phone, I went to reach for it, but she pulled back shooting me a glare. “I’m calling,” She stated dialing 9-1-1 before anyone else could protest.

“Yes, were at beacon hills high school. We’re trapped and we need you to-” She paused as the voice on the other side cut her off, her face dropped as she stared at the ground. She pulled the phone away from her ears staring at the screen. “She hung up on me.”

“The police hung up on you?” Allison asked in disbelief

“She said they got a tip warning them that there were going to be prank calls about a break-in to the high school.” She said her voice raising as fear set in, “She said if I called again that they’re gonna trace it and have me arrested.”

“Okay well call again,” Allison suggested, Stiles shook his head

“No, they won’t trace a cell and they will send a car to your house before they send anyone here,” Stiles explained, everyone’s face dropped as we realized the severity of our issue. Allison started to shake her head in disbelief.

“What is this?” She started to panic, her hands going into her hair gripping her head. “Why does Derek wanna kill us? Why is he killing anyone?” I stayed silent looking up at Stiles who looked over at Scott.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” Scott asked

“Is he the one that sent her the text?” Lydia asked

“No.”  Scott was quick to answer before stammering out the next bit, “I mean, I don’t know.”

“Is he the one that called the police?” Allison asked, all eyes were on Scott now for answers and I kind of felt bad for him

“Okay,” I shouted in frustration “How the hell is he supposed to know that?”

“Well, you guys are the ones acting all weird!” She shouted at me; I took a step back from her taking a deep breath to calm my anger “Scott!” She yelled and I felt Scott start to get frustrated

“I don’t know!” He screamed at her; Allison frowned her lips tightening to hold her tongue at his outburst.

“Alright, why don’t we just ease back off the throttle here, yeah?” Stiles suggested pushing Scott and me off to the side to talk.

“Okay, first off, throwing Derek under the bus, nicely done.” Stiles started off talking quietly for only us to here, I shook my head rolling my eyes.

“I didn’t know what to say,” Scott panicked “I had to say something and if he’s dead then it doesn’t matter,”

“And if he’s alive?” I questioned looking up at Scott and he let out a heavy sigh

“God I just totally bit her head off,” He shook his head

“And she’ll totally get over it,” Stiles said trying to calm Scott down

“Welllll,” I grimaced, and Stiles was quick to shoot me a glare

“You’re not helping,” He pointed out, I shrugged my shoulders “We have bigger issues right now, like how do we get out alive?” Scott’s eyes were wide

“But that’s the thing, we are alive. It could have killed us already!” He pointed out, I nodded my head agree, he could have killed us right from the start, but it hadn’t.

“It’s like it’s cornering us or something,” He whispered looking past Stiles over at Allison

“So what? It wants to eat us all at the same time?” Stiles question with a hint of his usual sarcasm

“No!” He quietly shouted to not draw attention to us, “Derek said it wants revenge,”

“Against who?” Stiles questioned, I watched Scott and his eyes flicked over to Allison. I whipped my head back around.

“Allison,” I said in disbelief “Why?”

“Not her specifically,” He shifted on his feet “But her family,”

“Maybe that’s what the text was about,” Stiles suggested, Scott looked over at him confused “Someone had to send it,”

“Alright, asshats!” Jackson yelled breaking us up, I stared at him moving over to Stiles “New plan, Stiles calls his useless dad and tells him to send someone with a gun and a decent aim. Are we good with that?” He lifts his arm gesturing to all of us. I looked up at Scott and then over at Stiles.

“He’s right,” I muttered even though I didn’t want to admit it but there was no other way out, Stiles shook his head not liking the idea one bit.

“Tell him the truth if you have to,” Scott said and Stiles looked up at him, “Just call him.”

“I’m not watching my dad get eaten alive,” He whispered for just Scott and me to hear

“He won’t,” He looked down at me and I quickly looked away

“Alright, give me the phone,” Jackson lunge for Stiles but Stiles was quick and turned and punched him in the jaw knocking him back, I jumped back hitting Scott who quickly grabbed hold of me preventing me from falling.

“Jackson!” Allison screamed going over to Jackson, she looked up at Stiles in disbelief. Stiles angrily reached into his pocket grabbing his phone calling his dad.

“Dad hey it's me, and it's your voicemail,” I frowned but wait for him to finish “Look, I need you to call me back now. Like, right now.” A loud bang came from the locked doors and I sucked in a breath as new fear coursed through my veins. Lydia jumped back as she was standing right in front of them coming to stand next to the rest of us. More banging came from the door as we backed up “We’re at the school, okay? Dad, we're at the school.” The banging got louder, and I could pick up the faint sounds of growling on the other side. Stiles ended the call not breaking eye contact from the shaking doors.

“The kitchen doors,” I suggested looking up at Stiles and he nodded

“That only leads up!” Scott panicked

“Yeah well that’s better than here,” We took off heading for the stairwell through the school kitchen, I looked back briefly seeing the flash of red eyes as we disappeared quickly up the stairs. We ran out into the second-floor hall going to the closet classroom door pilling in before shut the door. Scott placed a chair in front of the door, and we stood out of sight of the classroom door window nothing but the sound of heavy breathing in the room.

The sound of growling broke the silence, I knelled down baring my face in my knees trying to quiet my breathing. The heavy steps coming down the hall and then slowly passing the door making us all let out a breath.

“Jackson, how many people can fit in your car?” Scott asked once the foots steps were further away

“5 if someone squeezes on someone’s lap,” He answered, “Could try six,”

“six?” Allison questioned in disbelief, “I barely fit in the backseat,”

“It doesn’t matter, there’s no getting out without drawing attention,” Stiles said, Scott pointed over at the other door in the classroom.

“What about this?” He suggested going over to the door, Stiles and I followed him, “This leads to the roof, we can go down the fire escape in seconds.” Stiles looked down at the lock with a frown

“That’s a deadbolt,” He pointed out, Scott frowned before quickly looking back up at us with an idea

“The janitor has a key,” I eyed him with a frown

“You mean his body has it,” Stiles corrected

“Scott no,” I whispered just loud enough for him, “It’s too dangerous,”

“Kac, I can sniff it out, I can find him by scent,” He whispered back

“Well, gee, that sounds like an incredibly terrible idea,” Stiles stated, “What else you got?” Scott looked around the room before looking back at us

“I’m getting the key,” He stated not leaving us any room for argument, he walked past us over to Allison talking to her

“You can’t go out there unarmed!” She whispered in frustration, he looked past her reach out for something and pulling out a stick with a finger pointer. I closed my eyes, pinching the space between my eyes.  He can’t be serious.

“It’s better than nothing,” He said looking around the room, Lydia was staring at something and I followed her gaze to the chemistry case. She glanced over at me and I nodded my head slowly as we both thought what she was suggesting. Molotov Cocktail.

“There has to be something better,” Stiles suggested

“There is,” Lydia spoke up gesturing to the chemistry case, Stiles looked over at her confused

“What are we going to do? throw acid at his face?” He asked and Lydia and I both rolled our eyes

“No, idiot,” I muttered “That cabinet has everything to make something like a firebomb,”

“A self-igniting Molotov Cocktail,” Lydia finished, everyone stared at us in silence, I shrugged my shoulders

“What?” She asked not sure why they were confused

“We don’t have a key for that either,” Stiles said in disappointment, Jackson sighed before going over to the cabinet breaking the glass with his elbow. Lydia and I both went over grabbing what we would need to make the cocktail.

We went over to one of the worktables as she started to mix the ingredients

“Jackson hand me the sulfuric acid,” She said, and he reached out grabbing one of the bottles, Scott tapped his fingers on the desk waiting impatiently for her to finish. Lydia put a cork in the top handing it to him.

“Stop,” Allison demanded fresh tears in her eyes, “This is insane you cannot do this,” She cried looking up at Scott

“We can’t just sit in here and wait for Stiles's dad to check his messages,” he tried to reason but she was not having any of it.

“You could die,” She argued back “Don’t you get that? He’s killed three people.”

“And we’re next.” His face was filled with guilt as he stared at her, I backed up leaning against the counter that was next to the windows biting on one of my nails. “Somebody has to do something,” He started to walk towards the door. She stopped him again and I tried to tune out the conversation recognizing the private moment and the fact it was none of my business.

“Please don’t go,” She begged, I looked up at Scott seeing the inner battle he was having with himself. He looked over at me, but I couldn’t offer any help. He looked back at her before looking at Stiles.

“lock it behind me,” He said, and Stiles nodded. Scott took one last look at us before leaving the room. Stiles was quick to lock the door, I walked over to Allison pulling her into a hug as she cried into my shoulder.

“He’ll be fine,” I whispered rubbing her back, she nodded softly pulling away. I listened closely as his footsteps disappeared down the hall. Stiles paced in the room as we waited. The air in the room was thick with tension as we waited for Scott and the minutes ticked by and they felt like hours.

“I don’t get this; I don’t get why he’s out there? Why he left us, and I can’t…” Allison broke the Silence as she tried to reason with herself as to why Scott left. She was sat on one of the worktables cross-legged. “I can’t stop my hands from shaking,”

“it’s okay,” Jackson reassured grabbing a hold of her hands, I stared at him through the corner of my eye looking at Stiles who looked away and then Lydia who was watching her boyfriend. At least I thought he was still her boyfriend. He’s up to something.

I walked back closer to the windows, leaning up against the teacher's desk and I could feel eyes on my, I looked over to see Stiles watching me but I quickly looked away staring out the windows out into the night sky.

“Jackson you handed me the sulfuric acid, right?” Lydia suddenly asked I looked up at her curiously and then over at the bottles.  “It has to be sulfuric acid, or it won’t ignite,”

“I gave you exactly what you asked for, didn’t I?” He spat and she frowned at his words

“Yeah,” She whispered looking away from him, “Yeah I’m sure you did,” The room went quiet again, but the silence didn’t last long. A howl. A loud and powerful howl broke the silence and triggered something in me because every cell in my body tingled and my body felt like it was on fire.

I collapsed to the groaned letting out a blood-curdling scream. Stiles was quick to my side shouting my name, but I could hardly hear him through the sound of my own heart beating rapidly. My body tensed up and I rolled to my stomach letting out scream after scream.

I felt my claws begin to show and I was quick to tuck in my hands out of sight, but Stiles was quick to catch on. I looked at him through the gap in my arm that was covering my face and his widened.

“Shit,” I heard him mumble, there was something else though, another scream? I looked past him to see Jackson on the floor as well. I couldn’t look further though as another scream ripped through my body as it began to change.

“Kac, look at me,” Stiles demanded I shook my head keeping my eyes closed “Kacy!” He screamed I opened my eyes and he was quick to pull me to the side of the desk out of sight of the others. I could feel the wolf inside me wanting to breakthrough. I grabbed the Stiles jacket.

“I need-” I closed my eyes as sweat trickled down my face as I fought like hell to not fully shift. An animalistic rage ran through my veins and my thoughts were beginning to cloud with something dark, very dark. Something was different about this than before. “You need to get me out of this room,” I begged through gritted teeth, he shook his head reaching his hands out cupping the sides of my cheeks, I leaned into his hand as another surge of fire rushed through my body letting out another blood-curdling scream.

“No Kac,” He shook his head tears slowly streaming down his face, my breath was becoming haggard as I slowly felt myself losing the fight. I knew I would not be able to hold back for much longer and that’s when I felt it. His lips on mine. My eyes opened wide sucking in a breath from the shock and he grabbed hold of my face pulling me closer deepening it. I felt my body began to relax as images of Stiles face came to the surface, memories of our childhood of all the happy memories we have had and flashes of the present, of the night of the full moon. The night of our first kiss.

He broke away but only for a second before kissing my softly again, he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. I felt my body slowly start to relax; the rage being buried deep.

“Stay with me,” He whispered another tear falling down his cheek. I reached up wiping it away seeing my normal nails. I let out a small laugh and he opened his eyes his body relaxing pulling me into a hug noticing my eyes were back to the normal brown.

“Thank god,” He muttered pulling back before standing up and offer me his hand. Lydia and Allison looked over at me.

“I’m okay,” I confirmed hoping they wouldn’t ask further questions, Jackson had his head turned away from me and I noticed the faint scar on the back of his neck, he looked over at me but quickly broke contact noticing my stare.

My ears perked up as I heard something out in the hall. I stared at the door through the fogged window as footsteps moved closer. I spotted the faint color of yellow eyes staring back through the window. I sucked in a breath, holding it in, knowing it was Scott. But it wasn’t normal Scott. The faint sound of the lock turned. I could faintly hear the voices of the others talking but I couldn’t move my body staring intently at the door. Don’t Scott. Please.

The sound of a snap signaling to everyone else that something was at the door. Allison started trying to open the door, but it wouldn’t bug she screamed for Scott pounding on the door.

“Stop!” Lydia yelled and everyone went quiet, “Do you hear that?” I listened closely hearing the faint sounds of sirens. We all raced to the windows looking out seeing the flashing red and blue lights.

I let out a sigh as Stiles's dad pulled up to the school letting out a small chuckle of relief. Stiles pulled me into a hug, and I felt him kiss my head. My cheeks turned red and I buried my face in his shoulder.

“Thank fucking god,” I heard him whisper before we broke apart, it was not too long after that the door was busted open and there stood Mr. Stilinski and Scott. I rushed to Scott slamming into him hugging him. He squeezed tight before stepping back. He gave me a small smile before we headed out, Allison Lydia and Jackson already ahead of us.

Scott explained what happened throughout the night to Mr. Stilinski. I moved out of Stiles's grip standing off to the side waiting for the conversation to end. Another officer eventually called the sheriff over to him and he left us.

“Well, we survived dude, you know?” Stiles said trying to brighten the mood, but I could tell Scott was still worried, and I had to admit I was too. “We outlasted the alpha, it’s still good right? Being alive?”

“It’s not that simple Stiles,” I muttered, Stiles raised an eyebrow in question looking between Scott and me.

“When we were in the Chemistry room, he walked right by us. You don’t think that it heard us? You don’t think it knew exactly where we were?” Scott said trying to explain to Stiles. There was no way that the Alpha did not know. Not with our enhanced senses. Stiles shrugged his shoulders.

“Then how come we’re still alive?” He questioned

“It wants me in its pack,” Scott said, he glanced over at me, “It wants us in its pack.” He breathed, he stayed silent as an office walked by.

“Stiles,” He looked over me and I shift uncomfortably on my feet, “When- when I was shifting, I wanted- I wanted to kill.” I sucked in a breath as I said the words out loud trying to hold back tears.

“I think it wants us to get rid of our old pack,” Scott muttered; Stiles stayed quiet as he processed what we said. He crossed his arms shaking his head.

“What do you mean? What old pack?” He questioned

“Allison,” He answered “Jackson, Lydia and-”

“You,” I interrupted my voice cracking, Stiles frowned, and he looked over at me reaching up and wiping away a stray tear. He looked back up at Scott.

“The alpha doesn’t wanna kill us,” He said

“He wants us to do it,” Scott whispered turning to look out into the parking lot. “And that’s not even the worst park,” Stiles mouth dropped open

“How the hell is that not the worse part?” He questioned his voice raising

“Because when he shifted, he wanted to,” I answered for Scott just above a whisper. The words lingered in the air between us as Scott turned to look at Stiles.

“I wanted to kill you,” He confirmed his face broken at the thought, “all of you.” Stiles's eyes watered but he held back the tears as he looked up at Scott then down at me, I couldn’t look at him knowing I would break if I did. I felt his fingers graze mine and I reached out grasping his hand giving it a squeeze. I wiped away a tear as we stood there in silence. Scott looked around the parking lot before his eyes widened walking past us, I turned and mine did too as I spot his boss in the back of an ambulance.

“How did you?” Scott questioned as we got closer

“Get out?” he finished “Not easily. I’m alive because of you. I think I owe you a raise.” He joked

“Guys come on,” Mr. Stilinski walked up to us suddenly making me jump, “Let's let the EMTs do their job.” He moved us away over to his car. Stiles opened the back door for me, and I got in. Stiles shut the door and I looked through the window to see Scott running to Allison. I let out a sigh resting my head against the window for the first time that night I felt relaxed. I closed my eyes letting myself succumb to my exhaustion.

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Tags: 

@criminalyetminimal​ @itshouldbe​ @sammypotato67​ @capandbuck​

[strayneoculturekids]

Drunk - Chan x Reader

Summary: Chan had to be the sweetest, most talented, composed and mature man you’d ever met. To say you had a crush on him would be an understatement. Though, it’s not until he gets absolutely hammered at a Halloween party that you find out he feels the same way.

Halloween AU, Friends to Lovers AU

Genre: Fluff

Requests by anon: eyo! Could I please request a best friend's brother au with chan? Also, could the best friend be a girl pls? Lol thank you ♡♡♡♡♡

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and almost everyone in the fic gets drunk

A/N: Hannah and Lucas are the names of Chan’s actual siblings, so they’re the names I’m going with for this fic. If you want to, you can just mentally change it.

----

“Oi!” a familiar voice came from behind you “Y/N!”

You swiveled your head around, seeing none other than Hannah (A/N: in case you missed it up the top, Hannah is the name of Chan’s actual sister, but just mentally change it if you want) running up to you at full speed. You barely had time to open your mouth before she tackled you to the ground in a hug.

“Ah!” You screamed, back hitting the concrete “Owww” You sat up, rubbing your back to feel that some of the fabric had been scraped away- along with a bit of your skin

“Oh my God!” She jumped up, pulling you up along with her “Are you okay?! Damn, am I that heavy?!”

You laughed, waving her off with clenched teeth, trying not to show your best friend how much the scrapes actually hurt- and you were wearing a new shirt, too!

“That looked like it hurt” A deeper yet, again, still familiar voice came

You looked up, being met with Bang Chan, in other words, Hannah’s brother.

“N-no, I’m fine!” You blushed, looking over your friend’s shoulder and staring wide-eyed at the beautiful man in front of you

“Are you sure?” He asked suspiciously, taking off his jacket “Your shirt is ripped. Here, take my jacket”

Your blush only deepened as your best friend’s brother draped his jacket over you, and you refused to meet his eyes again, opting for staring at the ground instead. There was a short moment of silence before Chan pulled his sister aside and proceeded to scold her for running up to you so quickly and hurting you. You hardly paid any attention, though, as you were too focused on the pleasant warmth and smell that Chan’s jacket brought; so much so that you had forgotten about your injuries and couldn’t even feel the blood trickling from them- which happened to also be staining Chan’s jacket.

“Whatever, loser” Hannah said jokingly to her brother, pushing him away once he’d finished scolding and turning to talk to you “Wanna go to the Halloween party with me?!”

“The Halloween party?” You questioned, resisting the urge to glance at Chan

“Yeah! I got invited and we can bring a plus one!” She said excitedly “What should we go as?!”

“Woah, woah” You laughed, making hand gestures to try and calm her down “Who’s throwing the party?”

“My brother” She said sweetly

You looked to Chan

“No, idiot” She said, stepping into your line of sight and blocking out her older brother “My other brother”

“Oh” You breathed “Then how come you said you got invited? Isn’t it being held by a family member just an automatic invitation?”

“Pft- I didn’t get invited specifically, I’m just going whether my brother wants me there or not, and you’re dumb, introverted ass is coming with me!”

“Yeah, yeah, fine” You sighed, playfully scrunching your nose

“Let’s go as cats” She said, smiling

“Even as a joke, that’s not funny” you said, face-palming

“You’re right” She sighed overdramatically “Everyone would be so stunned at our combined beauty that they’d drop on the spot”

“Nevermind, I’m not coming” You shook your head

“No!! I was just joking!!” She whined, going to cling to you for the second time “Come onnnnn!”

“I’ll come, geez!” You shook her off, laughing

“Chan is going as a werewolf” She said, standing up straight “he’s lameeeee”

“Please,” He said, smirking “You know I’ll look hot as hell”

“In your dreams” Hannah rolled her eyes at her older brother “anyway, back to the issue, we need matching costumes!”

“Uhhh- I don’t know” You shrugged

“Pffft, you’re just as lame as Chan! We should go as sirens!” She put her hand in the air, seemingly coming to a conclusion

“Sirens?” You pursed your lips, frowning “That’s a bit…”

“Why not?! Scared of showing too much skin?? Come on, you’re like, the most gorgeous person ever so shut the hell up”

“I think you’d look good” Chan intervened, smiling earnestly, a hint of red displayed across his cheeks

You froze up, your own cheeks becoming red as well.

“Uh- I guess we can go like that, then”

“Great!” She said excitedly, jumping onto you again and almost knocking you over

A week passed by in a flash and far sooner than you wanted it to be, it was Halloween- in other words, the day of the party. You let Hannah match up your guys’ costumes, as promised; once you saw the final piece, you realised she really didn’t hold back on the ‘showing skin’ part, despite knowing that you would protest.

“Come on!” She whined, shoving the costume in your face

“Hannah!” You shouted “There’s nothing to put on! What is that?!”

“Relax” She laughed “I’m gonna cover us with makeup so it’ll seem like less skin is showing”

“You’re going to cover our entire bodies with makeup?” you asked dubiously

“Yep!” She yelled cheerfully, whipping out a palette of murky sea greens and blues

You sighed, looking at the costume unenthusiastically before snatching it from her and changing into it.

“Yes queen!” Hannah shouted once the costume was fully on “I can NOT BELIEVE you hide your perfect body all the time! Look at you!”

“Aish, calm down a little. I feel so exposed” You rubbed your arms, trying to pay no notice to the rather cold air around your apartment

“Now, let’s do this!” She said, getting out multiple makeup brushes, applicators, sponges, and much, much more

It must’ve been at least an hour that she worked on you- your stomach, arms, face, solar plexus, anywhere that wasn’t covered by fabric, was covered by makeup. You had to admit, it didn’t look half bad; she used fishnet stockings to make a scale-like effect on some of the parts, and it was rather effective. Afterward, she immediately got to work on herself.

“You know” She said, trying not to move her mouth too much while applying the makeup “Chan helped pick out the outfit”

“He did WHAT?!” You asked, looking down at the skimpy clothing

“I’m kidding!” She laughed “He helped pick out the makeup colours, though. He said he thought this palette would look nice on you.

“hUH” This time, you looked to the makeup covering your skin

It seemed much shorter when Hannah was doing her own makeup, but maybe that’s because your mind was elsewhere. Soon enough, she was finished and it was time to head to the party. She grabbed your arm and led you to her car despite you continuously telling her you wanted a coat to cover yourself up till you arrived at the party.

Once she had managed to shove you into the car, she began to drive back to her own house, which only took a few minutes.

You had arrived being nervous that you were overdressed, but once you actually arrived, your worries were quickly gone. Most people had pretty decent costumes, some had extravagant ones, almost making you jealous.

“Y/N, you’re here” Lucas said, walking up to you and smiling (A/N: Lucas is the name of Chan’s actual brother, in case you missed that too)

“Ew, vampire costume, both you and Chan are so lame” Hannah said, grabbing your hand and leading you away from her brother

There were a few familiar faces, and you greeted them all politely, but most of them were new. It was a while before you saw Chan, but to say you were flustered once you saw him would be a grave understatement. He was shirtless, which is all well and good, except for the fact that Chan had…a rather toned body, to say the very least. Aside from the lack of a shirt, he was wearing neon yellow contacts, fake blood, had prosthetic claw marks across his chest, wolf ears, a tail, and much more. Honestly, he almost looked like a real werewolf.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Chan ran up to you, almost repeating what his brother said before- you almost chuckled at how similar they were

“I like your costume” You smiled

“Same goes” Chan said, looking you up and down before blushing and looking away

“Okay lovebirds, I’m gonna go get some punch so why don’t you just confess already”

“Hannah!” Chan scrunched his nose at his little sister as she shrugged and walked away before looking back to you

You couldn’t help but let your eyes drop down to Chan’s abs, admiring how well they fit him.

“My eyes are up here, Y/N” Chan laughed, smirking when he caught you staring

“Wh-what?! I wasn’t- I-” You looked up to Chan’s eyes, only to immediately avert your gaze to behind him afterward, your entire face turning red

“Geez Y/N, could you get any redder right now?” Hannah said, coming into view once again, handing you a cup of obviously alcoholic punch “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re already drunk”

“Hannah, I already told you I don’t want to get drunk tonight,” Chan said as his younger sister handed him the drink she was carrying

“Don’t be such a buzz kill! You’re just scared you’ll get too drunk and accidentally confess to Y/N”

At that, Chan’s face turned almost as red as yours, and he immediately downed almost the entire cup in a few gulps, glaring slightly at his sister. You chose to ignore your best friend’s comment, electing to instead take small sips of your drink. It would’ve been an awkward silence, but as soon as it started turning into one, childish Halloween music suddenly began blasting through the house. It earned a couple of chuckles from some of the older guests that seemed over 30, but everyone else cheered and started dancing with their friends.

“This is my kind of party” You laughed as Hannah grabbed you and pulled you into the crowd of people dancing immaturely

----

The party must have gone on for a couple hours, and by the time most people had left, it was past midnight, and everyone who had stayed to help clean up or because they lived there was either completely sober or horribly drunk. Fortunately for you, you were one of the few that didn’t drink much, unfortunately for you, however, everyone surrounding you was drunk and it was now your official duty as the sober friend to take care of them.

“Y/N I’m gonna throw up” Hannah slurred, staggering up to you and heavily draping herself in your arms

You sighed and dragged her to the closest bathroom, quickly tying her hair up in a ponytail and leaving her to puke her guts out (once you’d gotten her into a position that wouldn’t allow her to fall into the toilet) and take care of the others

“Y/N!” Seungmin, one of Chan’s close friends called, running up to you, looking quite composed in the minimal-effort dog costume he was wearing that consisted of headband ears, a tail attachment and normal clothing “Thank god! I’ve found another sober person”

“Seungmin! Oh my god, you’re my savior” You smiled widely in relief “Where’s everyone else?”

“Lucas is passed out, Minho is in the upstairs bathroom throwing up, Woojin is trying to get Jisung to drink a glass of water and failing miserably, Felix and Hyunjin are harassing Jeongin and Changbin is hunting me down because he wants to cuddle” Seungmin said, looking around warily at the last line

“So you, Woojin, Jeongin and I are the only sober ones here? What about Chan?”

“Oh right! That’s why I wanted to find you- Chan is in his room sobbing over the fact that you don’t like him back so I’m gonna need you to go comfort him because I need to stop Felix and Hyunjin from bringing Jeongin to tears while also running from Changbin”

“Seungminnieeee!” Changbin’s voice came- but he was speaking in the kind of high-pitched voice you use to talk to your pets

“OH SHIT- GOTTA GO” Seungmin yelled, taking off back the way he came, quickly followed by a drunk Changbin

You stood in confused silence for a short while before processing what had just happened.

“Chan- Chan’s room- where’s Chan’s room?” You asked yourself, slowly heading upstairs

You passed the bathroom first, in which you heard the horrible sounds of Minho puking, then Hannah’s room, then a room which you could only assume to be Chan’s, considering there was deep, obviously drunken, sobbing coming from inside.

“Chan…?” You slowly crept open the door

“Y/N- oh- oh my god whyyyyy-” Chan sobbed, barely getting out the words, his face was stained with tears and he looked absolutely distraught, the sight would be sad if it wasn’t so comical

“Chan why are you crying?” You asked going inside and smiling sweetly

“Don’t talk to me!” He pouted in a choked, whiny voice while crossing his arms, sounding and looking almost exactly like a little kid

“Channie, don’t be like that” You walked up to him, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous he was when drunk “Why don’t you just tell me why you were crying”

Chan hesitated for a bit, sniffling silently before breaking down and bursting into tears again.

“B-because you don’t like me!” He whined, throwing himself into your arms

Finally, you couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing, clutching on tightly to the heavy boy in your arms.

“See!! You’re laughing at me now” He bawled

“I’m only laughing because you’re so cute, Channie”

“You’re just saying that” He further pouted

“No, I like you too!” You said brightly, stroking Chan’s hair

“You do?!”

“Yep! Now let’s go get you cleaned up, okay?”

Eventually, Chan’s crying began to subside, and he followed your instructions and where you led him. The first place was the bathroom, where you took off the makeup he was wearing and washed the tears and drool off his face, which proved to be more embarrassing for you then it was for him, though you were sure that wouldn’t have been the case had he been sober. After a much longer time in the bathroom then you would’ve liked, you had Chan get changed out of the uncomfortable Halloween costume and into his pajamas, a plain white tee and black sweatpants- clothing in which he looked unfairly handsome. Finally, you took him down to the kitchen, finding Woojin, Seungmin and Jeongin sitting tiredly on the couch, looking like absolute messes in their torn and broken costumes, though, not nearly as much of a mess as the six boys and one girl surrounding them, (including Lucas and Hannah, that is) all passed out on the floor.

“Y/N, we barely got out of that alive” Woojin said as soon as he saw you coming in “Jisung full out attacked me”

“I can still smell Changbin’s alcohol breath on me” Seungmin said, obviously exasperated

“I think I’ve been scarred” Jeongin chimed, though his voice was less than enthusiastic

“Chan is acting like a two-year-old” You chuckled sourly, thankful that the boy you were still holding didn’t seem to process your words

“Yeah, he gets like that” Woojin sighed “And then he spends the next week or so apologising for his behavior constantly”

“I see” You groaned as you dragged Chan to the kitchen and made him drink a glass of water

“Fuck” Chan swore once he had drunk the whole cup, clutching his head

“Come on, Chan” you slowly pulled him to the living room, finally feeling exhaustion creeping up on you “I’m not going back upstairs, sleep on the floor with the rest of the drunks. Seungmin, Woojin, Jeongin, scooch over”

The three did as told and let you half-sit half-lie on the couch with them while Chan sat down on the floor in front of you, leaning back into your legs and immediately falling asleep. It wasn’t long before sleep managed to claim you as well, and everything went dark after the long, long night.

You groaned and woke up to far-too-bright sunlight blaring through the open windows. Looking next to you, you saw Seungmin and Jeongin asleep, and looking down, everyone who passed out on the floor was still in their original place.

“You’re awake” Woojin’s voice came

You turned around, seeing the eldest boy carrying a tray of water and two full packets of Panadol.

“Last night…was tiring” You muttered, carefully lifting Chan’s head off of your lap and laying it back down on the couch

“You can say that again. I barely drunk a thing and I’ve got a headache”

You got up and took the tray from Woojin, setting it down on the coffee table. Just as you did, the ten people surrounding it began to slowly wake up one by one.

“Holy shit” Felix spoke in his deep voice, clutching his head painfully

“I have every regret” Hannah said, looking at you “Y/N! Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Fuckkkkk” Hyunjin groaned, grabbing a glass of water, two tablets and downing them as quickly as possible

Eventually, after everyone else had awoken, Chan stirred, waking up and clutching his head.

“What happened last night?” He looked at Seungmin before copying everyone else and grabbing pills and a cup of water

“I dunno” Seungmin shrugged “Ask Y/N. She’s the one who took care of you”

“Fuck” He muttered, looking to you, fear in his eyes

“Don’t worry yet Chan” You waved him off, yawning, still not awake enough to process everything “Wait until your memories come back”

“...okay…” he said unsurely, downing the pills

A couple minutes later, while everyone was lying on the couch or floor, Chan abruptly sat up, worsening his headache in the process, but he didn’t care much.

“Y/N! Fuck! Shit! Oh god oh god oh god oh god!” He looked to you, face completely red

“Did you remember what happened?” You asked

Pursing his lips, Chan grabbed your hand and led you to another room, shutting the door behind the two of you quickly.

“I-” He breathed in, cutting himself off before looking at you in the eyes “Sorry about…that”

“Chan, it’s fine, you were drunk”

“I hate getting drunk! I can’t believe I let Hannah make me drink like that- I-” He slowed down “I don’t remember everything. Did I say anything…weird?”

“You said you liked me…that’s basically it…”

“I knew this would happen!” He looked angry with himself “Y/N- I’m so sorry- I wasn’t- I didn’t-”

“I wanted to ask if you meant it” You interrupted his stuttering “Or if you were just saying it because you were drunk”

“I- if I meant it?” He blushed

“…Yeah” you refused to meet his eyes, blushing on your own as well

“I…I did mean it…”

There was a pause as you processed the information. Then, finally, you jumped on Chan, wrapping your arms around him excitedly.

“Y/N!” He groaned in pain, scrunching his eyes shit but, nonetheless, wrapping his arms around you in return “Please, I don’t need surprise movement like that”

“I’m sorry” You said bashfully, bowing slightly

“That’s okay” He said “I couldn’t be mad at you”

You were about to say something, but before you could Chan pulled you closer to him and kissed the top of your head, leaving the room before you could say anything else- or before you could see just how much he was blushing.

[ossy-p-art]

*kayae west voice* anotha one

DIMENTIO

TWO WEEKS

You feel less than good.

You kneel in front of the poor creature you had attacked; an innocent star sprite, dazed on the ground. You had injured it by simply whacking it with a branch as hard as you could. Admittedly it was pretty funny. Like hitting a baseball. Fortunately it didn’t soar very far; you had chased it into a secluded forest, away from prying eyes, before whacking the snot out of it.

You outstretch your hand and grab the little thing by the foot, lifting it up to your face. Awfully heavy little thing. Should be more than good enough.

You lightly lick your lips and pull up your mask.

You hear an unusual click as the bones in your jaw lengthen and unhinge. The chaos heart’s magic lets you manipulate your body in truly awful ways. Youve done this before, but it still gives you shivers. The heart grows cold in anticipation for more cosmic energy as you psyche yourself up.

In a grotesque, monster-like fashion, you easily slide the spite past your unhinged jaws and into your throat for the chaos heart to do whatever it pleases to it. In a fashion similar to a black hole, the sprite is suddenly dragged down with absolutely no hindrance. You didn’t even swallow. It was just gone in less than a second.

A chill runs through you.

You only do this on rare occasions. About three times in the past two weeks. Too many in a row would be telling. On the nights that you do treat yourself and the heart like this…it feels like you’ve taken a step in the right direction. The heart is more willing to sit patiently if it knows the longer it waits, the better the reward will be. You’ve formed a wordless alliance with the heart in this way, and thankfully this means it has stopped boring into your side.

On these hunting nights, you have to wear a blindfold and earplugs. If not, your body behaves strangely. You are subject to sudden thrashing and convulsions. You can navigate just fine without either sense- you can identify the imprints in space and time from every physical thing around you. You practically echolocate. Its a mystifying ability that the chaos heart gifted to you upon your transformation. The biggest problem, however, cannot be avoided.

You keel over slightly as you feel bile rise in your throat. You swallow it back down, irritated. Its like your body can tell when you’re doing these awful deeds and rejects them outright. The blindfold and earplugs do a decent job of keeping you calm and collected, but as soon as you can feel those sprites in your mouth, its a nightmare. You’d be fine with cutting up a sprite if it meant avoiding this, but unfortunately dead star sprites return to stardust immediately. A shame.

You clasp your hand over your mouth as you gag again. This kind of behavior really doesn’t suit a sophisticated individual such as yourself.

For the most part, you’ve been gathering sustenance for the chaos heart by other means- mainly normal power stars. They aren’t exactly appetizing, though…they taste metallic, and don’t sit well in your stomach. Pretty hard to discretely nab, too. Another alternative is ghosts and other spirits, but you think if you swallow one more boo this month something is going to come banging down your door to kill you.

Just a hunch.

You take slow breaths to try to calm your nerves. It seems impossible to keep your pulse steady lately.

“LAD WERE’VE YAE GONE OFF TEH?”

Your breath hitches in surprise as you catch wind of a familiar voice- one so loud you can hear it through your earplugs. You remove the plugs and pull away the blindfold.

You cant call out to the man yelling for you- your throat is in shambles. But you can knock a few times on a nearby tree to alert him.

“THAT YOU?”

O'Chunks comes through the brush and you give him a slight wave. He seems a little bothered, but still smiles lightly.

“Yae gotta stop wand'rin off like that, lad. Yer awf'ly far from tae gard'n. Thought yae were jus’ goin’ fer a short walk? Had me worried.”

He offers you a hand, and you place yours in his. It kind of shocks you how gently he carries your palm.

You never did this kind of thing before.

You were pretty worried at first that your old menagerie of ‘friends’ were going to pummel you the second they saw you. You know, the backstabber? The traitor? The fool? …They’ve all been surprisingly mild-mannered. You’ve been completely unable to speak from the damage done to your throat, but you’ve conveyed a few ideas via writing- most importantly the concept of redirecting the chaos heart’s violence.

Nastasia has been the most help thus far, navigating where power stars may be located to sate the chaos heart’s monstrous appetite. You really owe her a lot.

Mimi has been keeping a constant eye on you, practically babysitting you at any given time, keeping you captive in a small home she 'borrowed’ from some unlucky fellow. Normally you’d find annoyance in this, but for some reason, seeing her face brings you a distant feeling of comfort.

Unusual.

O'chunks sometimes arrives to carry you to and fro, as well as help you nab said power stars from any individual who may be guarding them… you haven’t told him about the star sprites yet. He may not like it.

Everyone is so… kind. You don’t know if a mass case of amnesia swept over everyone, but they’re all patient towards you. It feels…nice.

Your heart is warm.

You don’t know why they keep calling you 'Ell’. Maybe that was a side effect of the amnesia. Its not like you can correct them just yet.

LUIGI

TWO WEEKS

You walk while holding O'Chunks’ hand. You feel horrible. You don’t know whats wrong with you, but some kind of force, every so often, keeps driving you to go outside- to find innocent and tiny creatures of power- and to just-

You grab onto O'chunks’ arm suddenly and shudder. He pauses, looking you up and down with a worried expression. He bends down on one knee, and with a startlingly soft voice asks you if you need 'tae sit down.’

You shake your head no. You don’t want to be a bother.

You’ve been trying not to blame yourself for these things- its got to be the chaos heart manipulating you, or something. You don’t know what else it could be. The only bright side to these incidents is that after they’re over, your stomach doesn’t hurt at all- just feels cold.

O'Chunks seems slightly bothered with the silence, and decides to speak up.

“Er…yae know, Nastasia wan’s tae speak abou’ somethin’ with yae.”

You look up at him, trying not to come off as miserable.

Apparently hes not buying it.

“We’ve been hidin’ stuff from yae, don’ wanna put yae into a bad place.”

You give him a questioning look through your mask. You’ve BEEN in a bad place for two weeks now. Ever since you came to your senses in that broken castle.

“…We jus’ think yae should know. I cann’ do it alone.”

He squeezes your hand very lightly.

“…jus’ hope it doesn’ put yae in as bad of a state as yae were in tha’ cas'le.”

…you feel unsettled that whatever information he could offer to you would be that bad.

DIMENTIO

TWO WEEKS

You’re having a panic attack. Its not even yours.

Your conference with Nastasia went…pretty poorly, to say the least.

Your unwilling hand grabs tightly onto O'Chunk’s shirt as a part of you makes haste to form words you don’t even want to say.

“Gh- get-”

You cough. Its painful. You can taste the blood from wounds in your throat

“Get him- o-out-”

Your heart is going a million miles an hour. You feel like you’re damn well about to have a stroke.

Nastasia adjusts her glasses.

“We cant. If you let me finish my sentence-”

You go into a coughing fit, painting the inside of your mask with red.

Mimi quickly scampers over to you, putting a hand on your leg in sympathy before whipping her head at a sharp 90° angle to scowl at Nastasia.

“I knew they needed more time! But you didn’t listen, Nass!”

You fall to your knees, breathing heavily. Your mask slips off. You move your hand to pick it up, but a scream escapes you before your fingers can wrap around it.

“DH- DON’T MOVE ME!!”

The pain in your throat is horrible. Your vision is getting hazy from how disoriented you are. You’re losing focus.

You had suspected this. You didn’t need Nastasia to tell you. Apparently Luigi did, though. The man is as dense as a plank of wood that was raised by a family of hillbilly rocks. Its blatantly obvious in hindsight- moving against your own volition, Luigi missing, people being strangely nice to you… you kind of put the pieces together, thought 'well I’ve had worse done to me, and this may not even be true’ and put that thought on the back-burner to cope with later.

You put a lot of thoughts on the back-burner to cope with later. The metaphorical back-burner is pretty cluttered. Some thought-pots and concept-pans look like they might fall over at any second, but you keep that copper-ware well balanced in a precarious Jenga tower of undealt with emotions. Surely this is perfectly healthy and nothing bad could come of it.

Where were you? …Oh, yes, you’re about to faint.

You grab your chest and keel so your forehead is touching the floor. Your vision is fading to black from how quickly you are breathing.

You close your eyes as you take a slow breath in-

-and a deep exhale out.

You remain in a little panic-ball as you practice breathing. You’re shaking terribly against your will. This is humiliating.

A large hand strokes your back. O'Chunks.

“…I'tl be ok, lad. We won’ let anythin’ happen to yae.”

Words for Luigi.

Well. That explains the kindness they were showing you before.

You were finding a bit of joy in it, admittedly. It felt like you were all a crew again.

But it was only sympathy for him.

Well. That’ll go on the back-burner too.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 17

umm idk what all got asked... s4s skin, castools, uploading sims, updating hairs, some compliments (thank you). oh and coupure electrique (my 2nd hair) makes a comeback; does anyone have pokemon sword and are willing to trade me some exclusives (i have shield)

Anonymous said: Hey, I just downloaded your Allison hair and it looks lovely! Just wanted to let you know that it is tagged as short hair, and not tagged for cold and hot weather, just in case you wanted to fix that.

hey! that hair came out before Seasons so anything pre June 2018 isn’t gonna be tagged there. I am going to update all the hairs I want to update (Allison is one of them) over my Christmas break so I will update it then and fix the tags + some small issues with the hair (edge splitting, specular) :)

@simmerapple​ said:💜💮🌷🌸✨This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and out ✨🌸🌷💮💜

thank you <3 

Anonymous said: Hiya gorgeous! Wanna start off by saying that I absolutely LOVE your hairs, I have like every single one installed in my game. I love your shorter version of the long University hair and want to download it, however, I don’t want to override the EA one. Is this something I could change for myself in sims 4 studio so that it won’t override? If so, would you be willing to share quick instructions? Totally understand if it’s a no though! Keep making your beautiful work! ❤️

Anonymous said: do u plan on releasing a standalone version of your university waves hair replacement?? :0

Anonymous said: Can you make a non default replacement as well for your Universuty hair too? Have a nice day

Anonymous said: can you make that default hair replacement for discover universty non default?

Anonymous said: so that replacement hair would be an override of the one with university? is there any way we could have it as a stand-alone item?

Anonymous said: Is your university hair a default replacement? It’s super cute, but i like the original hair too and don’t wanna replace it completely. thanks in advance 

i need to get around to doing it sdcfgvhb I am just so lazy. I will try and do it this week while I am on thanksgiving break and have extra time

Anonymous said: hi i hope you're doing well! i'm so sorry if this is a dumb question but how do you access the meshes so fast? can't wait to get my hands on your new hairstyles, they're very pretty!!

CASTools :) I have it linked on my resource page. If you need help learning how to do it feel free to DM me on discord. I have helped numerous creators learn how to use it lmao

Anonymous said: you honestly outdo yourself every time. thanks for spending you time to give us such amazing cc ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️  Anonymous said: Your CC just keeps on getting better and better!! I fall in love with every single one!!! 

thank you so much <3

Anonymous said: It’s funny how you seem to be using dogsills hairs lately lmao. He probably forced you to get clout lmao

hjdfkshkdjf how would he force me to use them 💀💀 I just don’t have many hairs in my game besides my own so there aren’t many to pick from

@whocouldchuckwood​ said: I honestly cannot wait for you to release the WIP's that you showed on stream. The longish wavy hair tucked behind one ear, and that bun/ponytail with the bangs in front are just...*chefs kiss* Everything you do is stunning though. Ive never downloaded something from you and not liked it. Thank you so much for all that you do for this community. You're unbelievably talented. XO

thank youuu, lmao the long wavy behind the ears will be coming in december

Anonymous said: Could you maybe set a date when to upload your sims so you can tell us when. Just a request, it would be helpful if you could answer. Not trying to rush you.  Anonymous said: One more thing, did you change the bone structure from when they were first uploaded. Are Joella Blount and Jada Burke the same person but with different eyebrows?

I am wanting to by 2019 I just have so much to do fgvhbjn plus I change them around a lot so we will see what happens. I actually made a post for Jada that is in my drafts but I hate it now

yes their bone structure is a lot different now

I honestly don’t remember. I know my red headed model is my Claire sim upload I just changed her around a bit. 

Anonymous said: why did you make the pigtails style, the p**nstar pigtails. i was going to be a patreon but not for that freak crap, yuck

well I didn’t think they looked like that and I didn’t preview them as that ever so... chill

Anonymous said: Would you ever consider making a tutorial? Maybe for patrons?

I am so bad at explaining stuff and I have wanted to do a blender basics tutorial for hair but there is just so much and i am not sure anymore. You are free to DM me any questions though. 

@everythingmysass​ said: Ugh Austin thank you king for the hairs they’re literally the only ones I allow my sims to use (esp the crystal hair bc it’s hard to find cute curly textured hairs) keep up the AMAZING work!!

<3 <3 I am glad you like Crystal lmao I rarely see anyone using that hair. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Hi I love your sims 4 studio model it's so pretty I was wondering if you would ever consider uploading it if not it's fine I just thought I would ask

I think I have uploaded it in the comments of one of my youtube videos LMAO let me see if she is on SFS; ok she wasn’t but I uploaded her. You just put this file in your Sims 4 Studio Mods folder and reopen S4S. link

@squishybuttercup​ said: You dont have to answer this or anything. I just want to share that when I first switched to mm hairs my first thought was “I could start with AH00B’s hairs theyre good” and well no regrets!! Just an appreciation on how you encouraged me to develop my sim style and start to discover other amazing cc creators such as you💕 HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!

omg :( thank youu for thinking of me first lmao. my stuff is really simple compared to other stuff creators come up with. This is a late reply but have an amazing day as well 

Anonymous said: Hey I love watching your twitch streams but I hear you sometimes chewing on your gum in the background and I have something called misophonia. I get really anxious and irritated when hearing people chew,nail biting,live singing,couching and so many other things. It’s something I have deal with all my life. Sometimes I really hate myself because of it.

fghjbnk this is late too but I am sorry you had to deal with that. I saw this and didn’t even remember chewing gum but i made sure not to do it on my streams after it. Sorry again <3 and don’t hate yourself bc of something like that. It it just who u are

Anonymous said: You're just cranking out theses awesome meshes. Keep up the great work!

LMAO i did so much the past few months cfgvhbn I am gonna chill in December and January i think. I did 5 hairs in june, 7 in July + some of the AxA clothing, 5 in September, 5 in October + ADA clothes, and then this month i did 5 hairs again tfgvhbjn i honestly don’t know how i managed to keep decent grades in school but so far so good :) finals in like 2 weeks and it looks promising (i hope fgvhbjn)

Anonymous said: Hey! I absolutely ADORE all of your hairs - you're my absolutely favorite CC hair creator of all. I wanted to ask if you will ever update your Coupure Electrique hair to be hat compatible? (It's my favorite hair of yours!) On another note, would it be possible to ever have a version of the Kira hair without the buns? Thank you so much for your time, have an amazing day!!

my coupure electrique hair is being replaced by Karley LMAO. look at them... ian saw the karley hair when I was making it and was like “didnt you already make that?” and he was talking about coupure electrique and like.. yup. Karley is much much much much better though

Anonymous said: This is going to be a really strange question xD. I really love how you use that google doc item index for your collabs... is there anyway you could do a small tutorial on how to do that?

I can next time I make one lmao, spring break maybe not sure don’t quote me

Anonymous said: Omg another pack!? You’re pumping them out like hot cakes, i like it.

yes

[who-is-olivia]

Track 1. Meet Me in the Hallway

Harry Styles x OC

Harry confronts Olivia but she shuts him out of their house. [3.4k]

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: sexual language

December 2017

  Olivia hits the last high note of the song, ending it with a bang. Only when her work is done does she look beyond the stage lights into the crowd. They adore her. She looks to her right and finds Frank messing with his pedal, the sound was a little off. The dress he wears tonight is stunning, and for a moment she feels a spike of jealousy. When he looks up, he smiles at her and she does it back.

“Alright everyone, you’ve been amazing tonight but this is the last one” she looks back under the crowd’s manifestation of disappointment and checks if the band is good to go. With the drummer’s queue, she focus on the melody, closing her eyes to get the tune right. She and the music are one in the same, the way her body moves with each note truly entrances the audience.

  When she opens her eyes it’s impossible to notice anything but a pair of green eyes staring at her intently. She’s at a loss for words. He wasn’t there before, she would have noticed. His short hair has spots of snow, a long navy blue coat wrapped around his body. If his intention was to be incognito, he did a terrible job because no one in the crowded pub looks as handsome as he does. In any other situation being speechless would be acceptable, but in this case she’s standing in a stage with a spotlight shining upon her. Frank frowns at her, looking at the crowd, then back at her. When the crowd begins to fuss, he stops the performance.

“What’s going on, bug?!” he asks, covering the microphone.

“Backstage, come with me” she pulls him out of the stage, leaving Sarah behind.

  She shuts the door behind Frank but it doesn’t have a lock, so she clumsily sticks a chair under the knob.

“What the fuck-“

“Harry is here, I have to go!” she explains, putting on her coat desperately.

“No way, we haven’t finished the set!”

“I don’t give a fuck” she looks for her purse.

“Oli, listen to me!” he holds her by the arm, “I called him”

“What?! Are you fucking insane?! How could you do this-” she pulls her arm violently away from his grasp before someone knocks on the door.

“Guys, open up!” Jim calls.

“What’s going on?!”

“This is ridiculous” Frank reaches for the chair but she holds him back.

“Frank, no! Please!” he’s forced to look at her. “I’m not ready to tell him!”

He sighs, letting go of the chair and rubbing his forehead nervously. “Oli, if this was the other way around he’d never hide it from you. He never did, not even once!” she shakes her head, this can’t be happening. “Talk to him”

“I...” she stutters, eyes brimming with tears. Her imagination takes the worst of her, making her see a heartbroken Harry crying alone on his kitchen floor, like one of the times she’s found him there. Calling her ceaselessly, his chest aching in anguish, desperate to reach her. But then other images haunt her, images of him turning his back on her, cold to her touch, his eyes aloof as if they see through her. “I can’t”

“Fuck this” Frank pulls the chair at once, letting both Jim and Sarah in. She stares at Frank disappointedly but with soft understanding. He had to put up with her problems for a long while without asking for anything in return. He got this incredible drummer to play for them in a small celebratory gig he’s been looking forward for so long and she ruins it. It’s only fair he’s upset.

“What was that?” Sarah asks angrily.

“Harry’s here” Frank replies.

“So what?”

“I have to go” Olivia takes her bag and pushes through the small gathering. She takes the back exit to the dark streets, pushing her steps a little faster. All the memories she tried to bury resurface violently, and she finds herself breathless on the winter air. She and Harry leaving Jamaica together, sharing the same first class seat as she slept over his chest watching Wall-E, his sleepy fingers gently caressing her temples as to not mess up her hair. Him pleading for her to stay in London for a few months while he finished the album, arousing another fight about their life together, the way he barely ever raises his voice during an argument, making her feel always as the bad guy. His meek crestfallen steps away from her building, turning her heart into lead so heavy she couldn’t move.

“Oli” she looks back, there he is. She wants to run but stops. To say her guilt is holding her back is a decent enough excuse, but she knows it’s not true. Seeing him, despite all the heartache, still lights a fire in her chest. However broken she might be, he’s still Harry, and he still makes her weak in the knees. Olivia expects the worst, but instead of cursing and raging at her he delivers a shy smile, bringing out his dimples. “Hey”

She freezes, only mumbling in return: “Hey”  

“‘S been a while”

“Yeah... look, I-“

“I just want to talk”

“I don’t”

“Please, I just want to know if you’re alright”

“I’m not” Olivia whimpers, “there, now you know” she turns and rushes back to her flat with him tight on her footsteps.

“Oli, wait!” he pleads, following her inside the three-store building. She’s fast to climb the stairs but he is a close second. When she comes to open the door, her nervous hands betray her and she almost fails to unlock it. By the time Harry arrives, she shuts it. “Please Oli, listen to me” she covers her ears like a child.

  She knew this was coming. Her silence was unusual, soon enough he’d be suspicious. Not even an argument as crude as the one they had could keep him away from her. Now that he’s here and she has to confront the truth so urgently she wants to avoid it even more, so she keeps shutting him out both internally and externally.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you but you’re acting strange” he tells from the door, “Frank just called me and he said you had something to tell me, I suppose if he called me it’s important...” he heaves, trying to catch the breath he lost on the stairs, “but even if it isn’t, I just need to see you, love” he supports himself on the door and slides his back on it until he’s sitting on the floor, resting his head against the wood in frustration. It’s agonizing having her so close to reach yet so impossible to touch. “I though we were on the same page after Jamaica, but if something changed... are you sick? O-or in debt or anything like that, I need you to tell me, anything is better than let me fill in the blanks”

  The hands that covered her ears now cover her mouth, trying to muffle her panicked breath. It’s almost as if the truth is begging to come out. It breaks her heart to keep him out.

“Please open the door. I’m not going anywhere so you might as well just let me in” she lifts her bloodshot eyes to that shadow on the door. Hesitantly, she takes small steps towards the knob. Her hand lingers on the cold piece of metal but doesn’t turn, instead she falls with her back on the cold tainted glass. He feels the shifting on the wood but it doesn’t shake his faith, he needs to try harder. “You looked beautiful on that stage tonight, I almost feel bad for sweeping you away” there’s no reaction, only the sound of her heaving breaths. “Was it something that I’ve done?”

“No!” she cries in a small voice.

“Did you do something?” silence, “You’ve done something and you’re afraid I won’t like it?”

“More or less” she wipes her nose carelessly.

“Is that why you won’t return my calls?”

The moment of calmness ends and she feels her constricted sinus itch once more as the tears threaten to spill, “I’m scared...”

“Are you scared of me?” he cries, heart tightening from just imagining the scenario-

“It’s not that”

“If it’s not me, can I least help you, love? You know I’ll always have your back” she nods silently and take a deep breath. She still feels the impulse to cry but shoves it aside, maybe if they talk it will take the pain away. “Just tell me, please...”

“Haz...” she shuts her eyes and just blurts out, “I’m pregnant”

  His eyes freeze at a bit of the carpet floor in awe as he tries to process the information. His frown slowly rises as a quivering gasp escapes him, thrilled with the actual meaning of what she just revealed. He feel so ecstatic but at the same time so disappointed that he can’t share that moment with her.

“Please say something?” she begs as her imagination tricks her with a thousand different scenarios of his reaction.

“Oli... that’s amazing!” he turns to the stained glass, “That’s amazing! Oh my-“ he chuckles, feeling the tears fill his gaze. “How far long?”

“9 weeks”

His joy falters, this is the most important stepping stone of his life and he’s already missed a third of it. He can’t miss the rest, “So... Jamaica?”

“Yes”

“Oh my... Oli please let me in, I need to see it-“

“I don’t... I don’t want to” she chokes again.

He frowns at her reaction, anticipating the worst: “Oli... do you want to have this baby?”

  Her lack of an answer pretty much says it.

“Oh no, no no no...” he presses the glass where her body is leaning on it, cold sweat running down his spine. “Please love, don’t do this to me...”

“I haven’t done anything yet” her voice turns cold.

“Then why are you hiding behind the bloody door?” he asks in despair but she can’t answer. There’s no logical reason: he already knows, there’s nothing he can do to stop her, she’s not afraid of him... yet, she feels guarded by it. Harry sighs in frustration, a huge weight in his heart turns his legs to mush in anguish. “Olivia! For fuck’s sake, talk to me!” he cries.

“I don’t wanna talk anymore-“

“Why don’t you want the baby?” he presses, “I’m just trying to understand! Are we too young? You think w-we can’t afford? I need-“

“You can afford it Harry, I can’t! If I have the baby, this is it for me, how can I work and take care of a baby at the same time?” she blurts, shouting at the glass behind her.

“I’ll be right beside you”

“It’s not the same. You can give your time, your support, but I have to give up my body. I don’t want the swelling and the big boobs and the pain...”

He melts at her words, although many people would consider her dread to be selfish he can empathize with a fear as human as childbirth itself. Losing your physical form and a part of your identity is devastating. He can’t imagine how Oli feels about it, considering her experience with her parents and how she got lost between two people who didn’t really want her. If that’s the only reference she has, there’s no reason to bring a child in to this world. “It’s ok love... If you don’t wanna have it, I won’t make you”

“... but do you want it? The baby?” she whimpers.

“I do” he cries a bit, trying to give up on the idea is harder than he thought would be. “Ever since I met you I’ve been building this up in my head, planning every step forward and even when I think it won’t work it just keeps getting better. And I did all of that with this picture in my head that one day we’d build a family”

She slowly eases into a curious frown, her eyes fixed at a spot on the floor as she can’t help but imagine: “How’s the picture?”

“Excuse me?”

“You said you had a picture in your head of our family, how is it?”

He chuckles, wiping his cheeks. “There’s a few. My favorite one is you and me sleeping in the bed, and then the baby wakes up and comes to our bedroom. It tries to climb over the bed but it’s still too small and clumsy, so I have to wake up and pick it up and then it snuggles between us... and it smells like that oil you use when you shave your legs” he recalls the days when she shaves her legs and tries to shove them over him so he’ll feel how smooth they are, and after he feels it his hands always smell like lavender.

“It’s baby oil” she adds, “but go on”

“Alright... it’s got this cute little onesie but she’s heating up because of your radiator-“

“She?” he freezes.

“Always picture a baby girl, don’t know why” he confesses, reminiscing first time he had this epiphany back when he asked her to marry him. “She looks exactly like you, couldn’t tell it’s mine from a distance but-“

“She has your eyes” he agrees, “You stole that from Harry Potter, it’s not fair” they both laugh through their strain.

“Just to be fair, she’d also have my dimples which I believe is a genetical advantage”

“Show off”

His elation slowly fades as he remembers her leaning to another scenario, “It would be beautiful Oli. She’d never need anything, we’d take her anywhere, we would spoil her so bad...”

She feels the impact of his words on her soul, it soothes her to know this baby will be looked after and loved and yes, even spoiled. She wants that vision to be true, if they were in a different financial situation it might be just a reverie but they can actually make it happen. “Harry?”

“Hm?”

“If I told you I want to have the baby, what would happen next?”

“I would probably take the keys out of my pocket and open the door-“

“You’ve got keys?!”

“Of course I have keys, this is my house!” she laughs letting that tension escape.  

“Then why are you out there?!”

“I was hoping you’d come on out” she nods, relishing in how ridiculously respectful he is. “But if you’re still wondering, I’d kiss you until I can’t breath, I’d probably talk to your belly in a way that’ll make you slightly uncomfortable-“ a neighbor steps out the door to walk his dog and find Harry sitting on the floor beside the door, “Evening”

“Evening” the guy waves awkwardly and leaves with the dog.

“What was that?”

“Neighbor... you know what? Why don’t you open the door and I’ll show you instead”

“That’s better” she gets up and turns the key, opening the door for him to walk in. He comes through and helps her shut the door behind him as he pulls her in for a hug and embraces her tenderly, her touch making his heartbeat soar. He nuzzles her temple pressing a gentle kiss against it before leaning in for a kiss. She cups her jaw and deepens the kiss, smashing their faces together with the intensity of their yearning.

  He breaks it in a smile, urging his chest to calm down or else she’ll notice the heave of butterflies taking flight in his stomach. How come he has kissed the same lips so many times and yet it feels electric every time? How come he knows every inch of her skin and still he feels sparks rise wherever her tender touch connects them? When they part he can still feel her in the swollen skin. Maybe that sums the nature of his love for her: even when she’s not there, she’s still an entire sensation that dominates him and, at the same time, gives him peace.

“‘ve been dying to do that for weeks, you know?” he doesn’t let her answer though, stealing another kiss from her. She breaks it so she can take a good look into his lovingly smile. His eyes then dart to her stomach as he reaches down and kisses that bit of skin picturing their baby in there also glad to meet him.

“It can’t hear you yet so don’t waist your words” she reminds him.

“9 weeks huh?” he strokes the back of her knee, still crouched in front of her tummy. “Can’t believe I lost it”

“All you missed was me throwing up everywhere, nothing exciting” she tries to be dismissive but he’s not feeling it. He wanted to be there, holding her through it. Just the reverie of them sharing a bed like they used to makes him light-headed. “Now we’ll get to the fun part: the cramps, the ballooning, mood swings...”

“We’ll work it out”

“Maybe... I don’t know Harry, I’m so fucking scared” she tries to hide it but it’s inevitable.

“Love,” he gets up and tips her chin towards him, “A kid is a huge ‘maybe’: maybe we’ll fuck it up, maybe we’ll work it out... but if we get this chance, can you believe that? We actually get to raise a beautiful kid just the two of us, isn’t that amazing?”

“It’s pretty amazing” she smiles shyly. “Maybe that’ll push us to be up to the task”

“Right?!” she nods enthusiastically and he cups her cheek, “We gotta get better and we will”

She takes a calming breath and nods again, “Can’t believe you’re actually here”

“‘f course I am!” he pulls her to their living room, “‘s my house!”

  He gloats endlessly about the place, but it means so much to him. He and Oli built it together out of their pockets and planned their entire life in it. The flat feels like a safe-house for their relationship, the only place they can be together and grow.

“Oh, sure, the house” she rolls her eyes playfully but he pulls her by the waist and kisses her cheeks earnestly. He rests his bottom against a decorative table and holds her within his reach. He slowly tugs on her shirt and pulls it up until her stomach shows, sliding his cold hands over her warm skin. With his eyes closed, he tries to feel the bump as he rests his head against her shoulder. Olivia loves the goosebumps it causes, having his touch so unashamed on her.

“There’s something you might need back” he fumbles his coat pocket for a rose golden ring with flowers engraved on it. “Only if you want it”

“Of course I want it” she allows him to slide the metal band on her finger and admires it from a short distance. She then runs her knuckles over his cheekbone, relishing on the small hairs of his face as he tries to kiss them in place. “Should get married before I start to show”

“Why?”

“Don’t know if we can have a wedding night if I’m too far long...”

“Oh... you mean we don’t get to fuck if you’re too pregnant?”

“I don’t know how the physics works, what if it harms the baby?” she teases him.

“We should get married right now, is there any restrictions this far long?” he asks in fake hurry and she cackles at him.

“I don’t think so”

“Hm, good” he leans his kisses down her neck and she doesn’t have the strength to push him away. She comes undone beneath his touch as she knew she would if she talked to him, specially when she’s this sensitive. “We could technically get married right now”

“Can you at least call Anne first? She might want to know she’s about to have grandchildren”

“Bloody hell, you’re right” he recomposes, taking a small distance but holding her hand still.

“Should we tell anyone else?”

“Not right now, let me just...” he kisses her hand and sighs, “Let me just enjoy this, just you and me, eh?”

  He smiles fondly, it’s not hard for him to picture them as parents. Harry always wanted kids, he’s always been good with them and this is a welcome surprise after being in a relationship for so long. He was afraid that their small affairs with other people would eventually rob them of the chance of having a child out of their love but this is perfect. And it’s also so frightening, he wants the baby so bad he’s already willing to lay down his life for it. If anything goes minimally wrong, nothing else will do.

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