#i love pinecones a lots

[billzoidz]

Titled: I love Pinecones

(because i do, suck it everyone i love pinecones more than you folks do (internet so probably not true but i give it a 90% confidence interval)

tis a poem with Fibonacci sequence syllables :3

[c-kiddo]

my absolute dream house is a little bit midcentury (i saw a beautiful house on instagram) but ultimately minimalist but using warm materials (off white walls in warm grey or blue tones with hardwood floors is my rly rly favourite combination. airy). minimalist and highly practical design. storage and space for the colour in the room to come from things i already use , art stuff, hiking gear, plants, dishes. but space for clear surfaces, space for resting my brain and eyes and everything to be put away. big window that faces trees or a wide open space, not something overstimulating. i would love that

[whoslaurapalmer]

since I've brought it up a lot, here is CHRISTMAS TREE FINAL FORM

with some close up shots 🎄 the little white bird with the glasses is my new one!!!!! I love it dearly!!!!!

[rotisseries]

"she met a pinecone's fate" was hysterical the first time around and it's still funny but the longer I think about it the more unsure I actually am about the line

[crossover-enthusiast]

oh my gosh TELL

*inhale*

(art by @inkandpaintleopard)

My guy!!!! He's a werewolf hobo that lives in the woods and is considered the neighborhood cryptid. Nobody knows anything about him, not even his name, so he's just been called "Blondie".

He usually just wants to keep to himself but occasionally breaks into places to steal clothes or food. The only people that have managed to make any headway on him are Skid and Pump, for obvious reason

Also he uh

(art by @ultimateevader)

He gets a little feral when he hasn't eaten in a while :3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

More Mice!

Whatever the result is, I will attempt to recreate it as a drawing!

[ahhnini]

general headcanons with sevika! (relationship ver.)

a/n - this is taken place post arcane canon!

warnings - angst, men and minors dni, strap use, thigh riding, I am aware this is lowkey kinda ass I wrote this in a yearning frenzy at 3 am last night.

sfw

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ I imagine she smells woody, almost piney with a hint of that sweet pinecone scent. it’s subtle, and it doesn’t overwhelm your senses. only when you’re cuddling her can you smell it. and she smells like home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ surprisingly a homebody. when she walks down the streets of the undercity she gets flashbacks to harsher memories, so she prefers to stay home with you and make new, better ones.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ however, she feels conflicted. zaun is her home, where she grew up in, so sometimes she forces herself to walk along the alleys where she’s seen so much blood been shed. it’s her home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she rants to you about the council members, telling you how pretentious they are and how she hates working with them. you listen, pouting at her frustrations.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ since she works at piltover now, she sees vi sometimes, and her heart clenches because she resembles jinx. you’ve made a small tribute to her, as well as isha in your shared home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she is so protective of you. always an arm wrapped around your shoulder or waist when you two go out. she doesn’t let you out of her sight.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she’s so so so pouty!! :( when you visit her in her councilor’s office sometimes, you see her pouting over her desk looking at the cases. and it’s so adorable. she also pouts when she sleeps!!

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ speaking of sleep, she’s a soft snorer, but heavy sleeper! you two could literally be living next to a train station and she would not move at all. however, if you move, then she’s gonna wake up right away.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ lowkey an insomniac. the only way for her to get comfortable is to have you by her side.

nsfw

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ okay, we all saw and heard how sevika literally GROWLED when cait bit her hand…and I have a LOT of thoughts about that…

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ LOVES when you challenge her in bed. brat tamer to the max!!

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ her fav position is where you’re sat on her lap, she’s manspreading, and she watches you ride her thigh :3

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she would snake her metal arm around your back, the coolness of the material making you shiver. her other hand would gently caress your face, her soft touches making you feel loved.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she lovesss seeing you beg for your orgasm, she loves having that sense of control over you. even when you did nothing wrong, she’d still make you beg to cum.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ this is so obvious; her strap game is insane. she’d manhandle you so easily on the bed, pushing your face down on the pillow, pushing into you inch by inch, bending down to whisper in your ears.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she’s relentless with you, pounding into you fast and hard, bottoming out each thrust. but if she knows you’ve had a rough day, she’ll be gentle towards you. kissing down your body, moving her hips slowly.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ gives the sweetest aftercare. she runs a bath for the both of you, carrying you with her muscular arms into the tub. she sits behind you, massaging your body and scrubbing you down, eyes full of love.

PLSS I NEED THIS MIDDLE AGED WOMAN SO FUCKING BAD

[squiddy-god]

types of affection

(xiao, childe, albedo, zhongli)

What types of affection do they prefer giving and receiving? Yet another re upload

♥︎REQUEST ARE OPEN♥︎ don't be shy, send request for any of the fandoms on my fandom list, you can even recommend shows/games if they aren't there. Or even if you just want to chat! Anon is also always open!

Xiao 

Giving : gift giving, acts of service 

Alright so xiao knows very little about affection, his words are to rigid and his actions stiff, so those are out- 

But he gifts you things, its cute really, the bright blush on his face when he gifts you unusual gifts. 

Anything that reminds you of him, a pinecone he saw under leaves, small trinkets and animals made from leafs, rocks and smooth stones he finds by the water reeds, anything really

You won't know it at first but all the gifts he gives you are adeptal amulets, they ward of evil and bring protection, he'd never admit this fact but it's true, he fears for you so if you find hilichurls suddenly running from you its most likely coming from the small gift xiao gave 

Acts of service can vary, anything from accompanying you on a commission to clearing out a camp of hillichurls that was in your path, xiao finds himself doing little things for you

Receiving : acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time 

Xiao has been serving liuye for thousands of years, if you do anything for him hes going to be smitten 

Xiao likes to say that the things he does is solely his burden to carry, but the things you do for him he appreciates greatly, anything from making him almond tofu to rubbing his shoulders after a fight

His favorite to receive is if you play an instrument, even just humming a tune, it calms him and lets him feel at ease, like the karmic debt no longer beats on his soul. 

While xiao is stiff when giving physical affection at first, to scared of hurting you to initiate it, he does love it 

Xiao has most likely never felt or has forgotten the feeling of genuine physical affection, the feeling of your skin against his, your hands spread against his chest, its addicting t him 

Xiao likes to feel loved, the fact that you want him close to you, that you feel safe in his arms, it warms his heart and makes him realise what he's been missing for so long, and now that he knows the feeling, he craves it 

Xiao won't initiate physical touch, but he longs for it, and if you're on the roof of Wangshu Inn he expects you to be near him, as close as possible.

Xiao is insecure, his thoughts rage and cloud his mind, he often has doubts, and while he knows that you wouldn't simply leave him, and he has faith in you, words of affirmation are appreciated 

Tell him that he's loved, that you aren't going anywhere, that he’s enough and will always be enough

He claims he doesn't need reassurance but the way his arms hold you tighter says otherwise 

Xiao is also a fan of quality time, simply being in your presence calms him and he craves the feeling of you next to him. 

At times like this spoken words are not needed, he just wants to know your next to him.

Childe (tartaglia) 

Giving : gift giving, acts of service, physical touch 

While the concept is the same, the execution is far different from xiao 

Childe gifts you lots of expensive things, if he sees it and ir remiss him of you, or you stare at something to long- there's no holding him back 

That being said all of his gifts are very well thought out and usually very sentimental 

He gifts things that have meaning, things that relate to your interest and hobbies- and trust me, he knows all of your interest and hobbies (S I M P) 

I have a headcanon that childe is hopelessly pathetic at arts and crafts, it always ends up as a disaster and he gets embarrassed, so he’s probably tried to make you something and it turned out,,,charming yet awful,,,he was about to scrap it when you saw it and it's probably the only time you've seen mr. saveu fatui so flustered 

Childes acts of service are a lot difret from xiaos-

Xiao wants to make your life a little easier, childe wants a hit list 

Deadass this man wants names and, if you would be so kind, addresses 

If you need someone taken care of then he's your man, and he gets excited about it too (psychopath) 

Of course he’ll also do normal things for you, like helping you lift boxes too heavy for you, or beating up hillichurls, he’ll even cook for you! He’ll honestly do anything you ask (S I M P) 

Childe is especially clingy as work takes him away so often, besides that he strikes me and a generally touchy guy, he likes to feel close to you 

Big fan of having you in his lap but he’ll settle for anything he can get, be it hand holding or an arm around your waste he’ll take it. 

Receiving : gift giving, physical touch, words of affirmation 

Child doesn't want you to buy thing for him, he wants handmade things, even if your as hopeless as he is, his heart melts if you gift him something you made,

Anything you make him becomes one of his most treasured possessions, it becomes something he genuinely cherishes and he wont shut up about it 

He’ll gush about it for weeks and no one can stop him 

As i said before, childe is a touchy guy, he likes to feel you against him, but you initiate affection? YES YES YES YES YES sign him up 

 He seems like he'd enjoy if you came up behind him and hugged him, hed tease you at first but inside hes melting and squealing 

Praise him, he lives for it tbh 

If he beat a hard monster tell him how strong he is, childe is a prideful man and your praise is something he greatly enjoys 

Complimenting him on just about anything will get you rewarded with a barrage of kisses and a firm hug 

Btw he gives great hugs, theyre strong hugs that make you think “holy hell did you fight a bear?” and they have a warmth to them that makes you feel at home. He doesn't do side hugs, it's full on hugs or no hugs 

Back to words, if you get sappy and genuinely sentimental he will get SO flustered 

Albedo 

Giving : quality time, gift giving 

Albedo loves spending time with you, weather you simply keep him company during his experiments or walking with him thru the streets of mondstat, albedo loves spending time with you 

Claims he focuses better if your in his presence (it's a total lie) 

Albedo likes to be able to sit with you while you eat, he's big on eating together and it gives him a (much needed) break 

He also loves taking walks with you, the closeness brings a warm feeling to his chest and a smile to his face 

Albedo also enjoys giving you pictures, often times theyre of you or things that make him think of you, anything from a sketch of you working or of a flower that made him think of you, a cute bird or a simple landscape, no matter what the sketch is of he always takes time to explain exactly why he decided to sketch that particular item or moment 

His reasons are always very sweet, especially when he shyly tells you he just thought you looked cute in that moment. 

Don't be surprised if you get a random branch or twig on your desk or nightstand, because albedo with casually take leaves and turn them into twigs (like in his idle animation) especially when he finds his mind wandering to you

Albedo is a sweetheart and wants to spend time with you.

Receiving : quality time and acts of service 

Albedo loves that you want to spend time with him, he wants you to be as interested in him as he is with you, so your enthusiasm to spend time with him makes him happy

He likes doing domestic things with you, cooking, cleaning, eating meals together are all things he greatly enjoys

He also loves it if your interested in his work, sitting and watching him work makes his heart soar and makes him feel loved 

Look, i like albedos voice a lot, it so calming and gentle- so like, sitting in bed by candle light, leaned against albedos shoulder while he reads outloud, occasionally planting a kiss on the crown of your head

Iubuhvgycftttcygvmhubjjinosudhufhfdsjhfshs

Albedo appreciates you doing little things for him (his quest be like) 

This isn't just you running errands for him but also things like bringing him a little snack or a cup of water, dusting his study (don't move things, just dust) helping him button his shirt (dse it even have buttons?) things like that, small things that just make his life a little easier 

*cough* kissing his temple and handing him a cup of coffee, sleepy voice whispering a little encouragement while he turns to give you a proper kiss. *cough* 

Overall albedo is very chill and his affection is much the same, gentle domestic things and time spent together never fails to put a smile on his face 

I love domestic albedo 

Zhongli 

Another domestic husband 

Giving : quality time and words of affirmation 

Zhongli absolutely LOVES quality time spent with you, he loves to simply be able to bask in your presence, to calmly sip tea and listen to your voice 

Its often that zhongli will be sitting quietly in whatever room your in, it doesn't matter what your doing, be it dishes or reading, he’ll be sitting and watching you with nothing but adoration in his eyes 

He also loves when you sit next to him, curled up by his side while he reads to you or tells you stories 

His voice is *chef kiss* and listening to his storeys is always so calming 

The gentle like filtering threw the windows as his voice recounts tales of many years ago, his gloved thumb gently smoothing over your cheek. His arm wrapped around your shoulders as you sip your tea and eagerly listen to him. 

Zhongli is domestic, long hours of time where he does nothing but savor the feeling of being with you, no need for spoken words when everything feels as if it has slipped into place. 

Zhongli has a very proper way of speaking, his words carry the weight of mountains behind them, nothing spoken without meaning and intent behind them

Zhongli has no issue speaking his mind, and the same applies to you. 

He gives lots of complements, especially when he notices something different about you 

You'll never doubt zhonglis love, how could you when his words are always spoken like facts? 

I mean how can you argue when he states complements as if theyre set in stone? 

The simple answer is that you can't. And if you try to argue you’ll face the wrath of the rock (his kisses lmao)

Receiving : physical affection and quality time  

Shhhhhhhhhhh- zhongli loves physical affection and i'll die on this hill

 Zhongli after so many lonly years finally has you,  and he longs for the touch of your hands and the feeling of your lips on his 

Zhongli melts into your touch, leaving into your hand cupping his face while he kisses your wrist with the utmost gentleness 

Zhongli can't imagine he's comfortable to cuddle with, his skin is tight and has little to no give, his body is as hard as a rock, yet you snuggle into his side- it always brings a smile to his face 

Zhongli is not an impulsive man yet he is often overcome with the burning urge to kiss you, he thinks hes slick but its all to obvious how his eyes drift and fixate on your lips, if you look close enough you might even see the way his pupils dilate, drawing into thinner slits when they stare

Zhongli loves if you take the time to get ready with him in the mornings, spending the morning with you is always very pleasant 

Idk bout you but i'd be glad to get woken up if i was getting woken up by zhonglis voice 

He wakes up early and brews tea every morning, and once its done he’ll rub circles on your back to gently wake you up, placing a kiss on your head and asking how you slept. 

PLEASE offer to tie his tie for him he will melt 

Hed smile and let you tie his tie, gently taking your wrists in his large hands and placing a kiss on your knuckles before planting a kiss on your lips 

Domestic zhongli is the best zhongli

[naturesapphic]

Hey can I ask for a high school Natasha romanoff and jock reader.

Where Natasha's mom is the school coach and reader is the school star athlete. Everyone knows us as the charming all star ice hockey champ, but Natasha knows the real us. Just a shy girl who spends more time at Nat's house then her own. One night reader shows up at Natasha's window sill, asking to come in. Reader confesses that she has a crush on on Natasha, and Nat confesses she feels the same way. They end up falling asleep cuddled up on Natasha's bed. Then I thought it would be funny if nat stuffs reader in her closet when melina comes in to chat. When melina leaves she said to reader "feel free to use the front door next time, and that she's welcome for breakfast before they all head to school". Then just a really funny 'walk of shame' moment and Yelena finds it funny (Yelena's older)

Just a random thought. No pressure if you don't want to.

Really just shy

Highschool!Natasha romanoff x jock!hockeyplayer!fem!reader

Warnings: fluff

Natasha was lying in her bed on her laptop typing up a report for school until she heard thuds at her window. She ignored it and went back to work until she heard it again and again. Frustrated, she got up and walked over to the window to see y/n throwing pinecones at her window.

Natasha opened up her window and peeked her head out. “Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here. If you are here to see my mom she’s downst-“. She started to say but you interrupted her. “N-no! I came here to see y-you…c-can I come up?” You nervously said and Natasha smirked at you. “Sure yeah.” She said leaving the window opened for you. Luckily there was a tree by nats window so you climbed it and crawled into her bedroom.

Natasha’s smirk hasn’t left her face as she watched you get up off the floor. “Why did you want to see me y/l/n?” Nat said with an eyebrow raised on her perfect face. You cleared your throat and started playing with your hands which signaled to Natasha that you were nervous. She gently grabbed your hands in hers and gave you a reassuring smile.

“Hey…whatever it is you can tell me…”. She said with a warm tone. You nodded your head slowly and went over to her bed to sit on it. She followed behind you and sat beside you, putting her hand on your shoulder in a comforting manner. “I-I like you a-a lot n-nat…”. You shyly said as you looked at the floor, avoiding her gaze. You heard footsteps come close to you and you felt fingertips lift your head up to meet Natasha’s eyes boring into yours.

“Well it’s a good thing I like you too hm?” Natasha said with a playful smirk and a big smile appeared on your anxious face. “R-really? Oh my gosh! This is great! How about tomorrow after school I take you on a date?” You asked her a little bit more confident now. Natasha gives you a small reassuring smile before answering you. “I would love to y/n/n.” Your grin never left your face and for the rest of the night you and nat were on her bed talking and holding each other.

You didn’t realize you fell asleep until Natasha woke you up by shaking you violently. “N-nat?” You said groggily as you slowly sat up. Natasha looked at you with urgency and she pointed to the closet and you didn’t get it until you heard her mom’s voice coming closer and closer. You scurried out of the bed and Natasha shoved you into her closet just as Melina came in. “Good morning Natalia. Just up here making sure you are up and it seems like you are. Yelena is about to eat all of the breakfast so come down and hurry if you want any.” She said as she looks around the room.

“Okay I’ll be down in a minute mom.” Natasha said kinda out of breath as melina gave her a weird look. She went out the door but came back into the room looking at the closet. “Oh and y/n. feel free to use the front door next time, and you are welcome for breakfast anytime dear.” Melina said as she walked out the door. You stumbled out of the closet as Natasha gave you a shocked look that matched your expression. “How did she know?” You said confused and nat shook her head. “She always knows everything.” Natasha explained to you and you nodded, agreeing with her.

The two of you went downstairs for breakfast but saw that yelena ate it all. Natasha scolded her while you stood behind nat shyly. Yelena smirked a the two of you “you take good care of my sister you hear? Or I’ll gladly shove your hockey stick up your as-“. Yelena got cut off by Natasha slapping her upside her head. “Ouch! What the hell!” Yelena snapped and nat growled “don’t say that then!” Nat argued and she grabbed your hand as the two of you when to the front door, you hanging your head in shame.

Yelena whistles and laughs at the two of you as y’all walked out the door. “Just ignore her. You know how she gets.” Nat says as she holds your hand tightly as you walk to nats car. “Yeah yeah I know.” You chuckle as you get in the drivers seat and nat gets in the passengers side. You start the car and the two of you head off to school.

A/n: I hope this is what you wanted anon and I hope you enjoyed it! Hoped that everyone else enoyed it too! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all! :)

[plushstarrs]

Fish (left) and Bug (right)

Minkowski (left) and Cinnamon Spice (right)

Inch, Inch, Inch, Inch and Inch /18 inches

Collectors with multiple of the same plush! Show me your doubles (I wanna see lots of twins and triplets!)!!

[shelbgrey]

✨Pookie😏✨Mother Pinecone🥳✨Fellow Simp🤩✨ can I request some lovely shrexy headcanons for the one and only Sammy Winchester😳 I just need some fluff and steamy steamy spicy headcanons please🥹 I’ll pay😉🫴💰💳💵

Dating Sam Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Sam Winchester X Singer!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Sam dating Bobby Singer's kid. -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚MoodBoard

Between Sam being John's kid and you being Bobby's, you spent a lot of time together as kids.

You were always closer to Sam, you and him bonded over books and you were both the quiet ones.

It was obvious there was something between you two even when you were kids, but you were both completely clueless.

“the only two people who don't know Sam and y/n like each other are Sam and y/n” - Dean

But then he went off to college, you guys talked through letters and Emails for the first few months. Then he met Jes and you guys talked less and less.

Deep down Sam knew he dated Jess just to get over you, but then he felt awful to think that way after she died.

He never would have expected that you'd show up with Dean, telling him John was missing. Sam honestly hated to see the skilled hunter you have become, he always thought you deserved better.

Deep down he knew he stayed for you. College didn't matter much to him anymore and neither did finding his dad. He rekindled his friendship with you and wanted to protect you.

Hell, he would take you away from the hunting life if he could.

Before you knew it the three of you were a trio again. Saving people and hunting things together.

Then before you knew it you and Sam both fell back in to your original, clueless act you had with each other. It pissed Dean off, because he knew you guys liked each other.

Dean also knew neither one of you had the balls to admit your feelings. So he took matters into his own hands.

“Hey, y/n, you busy Saturday night?” Dean asked one night. “no?”

“Sammy, you sure as hell ain't busy” Dean joked, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “yeah... I'm not”

“good, because I am... You two go out and have a good time” Dean told you both.

Yeah Dean asked you out on a date for Sam. Both of you had mixed reactions, you didn't know how to proses what what just happened and Sam was just annoyed Dean was getting up in his business. Dean didn't stop you guys from going out.

he is sweet and gentle when he kisses you. The kisses you and him share are always sweet and full of passion. He pours everything into his kisses when his lips are on yours.

He definitely said 'I love you.' he said it after he had to save you from a vampires nest he told you he couldn't lose you and he loves you.

Sam would be the one to encourage you to go on rants or nerd out about things your passionate about. He'll listen beginning to end. If your like: “sorry if I'm talking too much” Sam will say: “no, no, keep going. I'm listening”

Not being stuck in his Tuesday time loop, but helping the best you can.

Sam's Hugs are warm and tight. Since he's so much taller than you he usually picks you up and holds you to his chest as your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck holding him tight.

he promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut or bruse on you, he would freak out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on you.

Sex with him has always been on the Adventurous side, but he learns your limits quickly and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But when soulless Sam shows up there's no slowing down.

Even though Soulless Sam is hot one of the things he cares about most is sex and it might seem that's all he wants at the time, but the moment you get hurt the person or thing that hurt you is in a heaping pile of blood and broken bones.

Research dates all the time, you think it's boring as hell but your happy just to he able to spend time with him.

He's a health nut so he's always getting on to you and dean about your eating habits. “you know those things could kill you, right?” Sam asks as he watches you drink a monster energy drink, you'll just shrug him off.

You appreciate his concerns and you do back off on some stuff and let him cook you a healthy meal.

“what is that?” you asked staring at the blender in Discussed. “it's a smoothy, its good for you” he said pouring you a cup. “it's green goop”

✨Forehead kisses✨ he's a giant after all, so it's easier and convenient to just give you a little kiss on the forehead. He also loves it when your setting in his lap and giving him the same treatment.

Matching bracelets. Jack went through a friendship bracelet making phase and you made a couple with him. You and Sam both have one, he refuses to take it off. “you don't have to wear it”

“no, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off”

You and Sam are literally Jack's parents, you probably end up adopting him at some point.

Never giving up on getting him out of hell, you hated the fact Dean when to live with Lisa. So while he got a girlfriend you were threatening crossroad demons for awnsers.

Making dirty jokes with Dean all the time to annoy Sam.

If Dean pranks Sam, you'll help get back at Dean. One time you convinced Sam to have sex in the impala just to piss Dean off.

Lucifer has the undying love for you and hits on you all the time, it pisses Sam off to no end.

Getting to see Sully first hand because he knew how much Sam ment to you and Sully just really wanted to meet the person that made Sam so happy.

Jody being a mother to you.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough hunt.

If your a smut book you get really secretive about and he'll notice quickly. “What you reading?” you blush and hold the book away from him. “nothing”

If he gets a hold of the book and reads a steamy part if the book, he'll probably want to try what he read too.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

He wants to hold your hand all the time too, if your walking around the bunker or a town your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had while doing research.

Communication won't be a problem in your relationship. You both just find it so easy to talk to each other.

But if you get into a fight, your fight loud and mean. There will be the silent treatment.

He's a bed hog so get used to sleeping right on top of him or right up against him because there's no room for personal space when you share a bed, especially if it's a motel bed.

He also hogs blankets.

You have bad sex in the bunker library, do with that information as you will.

You steal his flannels all the time, they're just so big and comfy.

He's good at turning you on😏

NSFW headcanons:

Sammy has a size kink, he loves the fact you are shorter than him. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and throw you around without even trying.

likes to pretty much fuck you stupid. like to the point your shaking, you only can think of his dick and babbling his name. you probably won't be walking the next morning.

he's ✨skilled✨ with his hands, those big massive hands. it doesn't matter what he's doing with them, in between your legs, your face, around your neck, in your hair, I don't matter he knows what he's doing.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

He didn't realize how much he actually liked it untill you started pulling on his hair while he was eating you out. “Damn... Do that again... Please”

Biting, he's loves marking you up. There has been many times you had to cover your neck with makeup, but most of the bite marks are on your thighs.

But he also lives for the moments where it's just sensual and gentle. He secretly loves just holding you and kissing you slowly.

He wants to see if he can he make you scream louder than he did the last time. He loves the noises you make.

He well bend you over the table in the bunker library and take you from behind.

The desk will creak from the force he uses and his large body will presse you hard against the desk.

He loves hearing the moans and gasps coming out of your mouth.

Part of him will want you to be louder, even though he knew you aren't supposed to be sometimes.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you. “come on, Baby. Cum for me again”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

“that’s it baby, there you go. takining me so well, honey.”

Sam loves the way his hands look on your body. Even better if you’re smaller than him, he just wants to be touching you all the fucking time.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

Sam first thought after sex he's always checking on you, making sure it felt good and your not sore. He is very gentle, cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself.

[advisorykitty]

Is it oo if u do randal x reader who has a similar personality to him? No rush and you dont have to do it if you dont wanna! :D

You and I

Randal x Reader oneshot!!

tbf i actually kind of liked this one! There is also Sebastian since i haven't written him for a while so hope u enjoy that!!

Randal first saw you crouched near the playground, dragging a stick through a patch of mud with impressive dedication. Most kids were playing talking about more 'trivial' matters, but you? You were sculpting what looked like… an angry face with sharp teeth.

“What’s that?” Randal asked, appearing beside you out of nowhere like he always did.

You barely glanced at him, but a small smirk tugged at your lips. “A monster. His name’s Chuck. He eats toes.”

Randal cackled, crouching down beside you. “Toes, huh? Nice. Can I add something?”

You shrugged. “Go for it.”

Randal snatched another stick and started adding spiky hair and a pair of wild, mismatched eyes to Chuck’s face. By the time recess ended, the two of you had turned the mud patch into a whole grotesque masterpiece. And just like that, you were friends!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Fast forward a few years, and not much had changed. You and Randal were still inseparable partners in chaos, thriving on mischief and mayhem. Which is why you were currently sitting on a tree stump in the middle of the forest, waiting for him.

“He’s late,” you muttered, flicking a pinecone across the dirt. It wasn’t unusual for Randal to lose track of time, but it was still annoying. You had big plans for today—things involving mud, trees, and possibly fire if you could get away with it.

Finally, you heard the familiar sound of mismatched footsteps crunching through the underbrush. “Hey, bunny!” Randal called, grinning as he emerged from the shadows.

“About time,” you said, standing up and brushing dirt off your jeans. “What took you so long?”

Randal shrugged, his grin widening. “Luther made me clean up my dolls before I left. He said if I didn’t, he’d ‘lock me in the bad boys closet.’” He mimicked Luther’s deep, monotone voice, then rolled his eyes. “As if that would stop me.”

You snickered. “Big brother sounds fun.”

“Oh, he’s a blast,” Randal said sarcastically, waving a hand. “Anyway, guess who I brought with me?”

Before you could ask, Sebastian stumbled into view, looking as miserable as ever. His costume was rumpled, his hair was a mess, and his expression screamed help me.

“I didn’t agree to this,” Sebastian muttered, glaring at Randal.

“Yes, you did,” Randal shot back cheerfully. “By not running fast enough when I grabbed you.”

Sebastian groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why am I here? I have better things to do than.. indulge .. you two ..psychos.”

“Because we’re fun,” you said, grinning as you leaned against a tree. “And because Randal said so.”

Sebastian sighed heavily, muttering something under his breath about “crazy people” and “needing a better escape plan.”

After some bickering and a lot of laughter (mostly from you and Randal), the three of you decided to play hide and seek. Randal, of course, was the seeker.

“Thirty seconds, then I’m coming for you!” Randal announced, turning to face a tree and covering his eyes. “One… two…”

Sebastian immediately began running.. and running?? clearly aiming to get as far away as possible. You, on the other hand, had a better plan.

Spotting a tall tree with thick branches, you grinned and started climbing. The bark was rough under your hands, but you didn’t care. You loved heights—the higher, the better.

By the time Randal yelled, “Ready or not, here I come!” you were perched near the top of the tree, peering down at the forest below. You could see Sebastian skulking around the base of another tree, glancing nervously over his shoulder his breath ragged from the previous running.

“Hey, Sebastian!” you called, waving.

He looked up, his jaw dropping. “Are you insane? Get down from there!”

You laughed, swinging your legs. “Why? Afraid of heights?”

Sebastian scowled. “No, I’m afraid of you falling and breaking your neck. Which I’m not helping you with, by the way.”

“Oh, come on,” you said, standing on the branch like a circus performer. “It’s not that high.”

“It’s at least twenty feet!”

“Whatever,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Watch this!”

Before he could protest, you jumped. The air rushed past you in a thrilling blur, and you landed in a crouch a few feet away from Sebastian.

“Ta-da!” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.

Sebastian stared at you, his face pale. “You’re out of your mind.”

“Yep,” you said, grabbing his arm. “Now it’s your turn!”

“What—no—hey!” Sebastian yelped as you started dragging him toward the tree.

Ignoring his protests, you climbed the tree again, this time with him in tow. He clung to you like a terrified cat, muttering a string of curses under his breath.

“Relax,” you said, grinning. “I’ve got you.”

“This is not relaxing...”

By the time you reached the top, Sebastian was practically vibrating with anxiety. “I hate this. I hate you. I hate Randal.”

“You love us,” you said, laughing. “Now look! Isn’t the view great?”

Sebastian hesitantly glanced around, ,his expression hardened.

“No it isn't."

“Ouch.”

Down below, Randal was wandering aimlessly, calling out in a sing-song voice. “Sebaaaastian… Y/N… I know you’re around here somewhere!”

You grinned mischievously, leaning down to yell, “Up here, loser!”

Randal’s head snapped up, and his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Awesome! Can I join you?”

Sebastian groaned. “Please don’t.”

Of course, Randal ignored him and started climbing the tree.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As Randal climbed the tree, you shifted your weight on the branch, causing it to sway slightly. Sebastian immediately clutched the trunk like his life depended on it.

“Can you not?” Sebastian hissed, shooting you a panicked glare. “This thing’s going to snap, and we’re all going to die!”

“Drama queen,” you muttered, waving him off. Then you turned to Randal, who was dangling precariously from a branch below you, grinning up at you like a lunatic.

“Nice tree,” Randal said. “Plenty of room for everyone, huh? Kinda cozy.”

“Yeah, cozy,” Sebastian muttered sarcastically.

Randal ignored him, pulling himself up to sit beside you. “So, guess what I found this morning?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Randal reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny doll. Its painted eyes stared blankly, and its hair was matted like it had seen better days. “Her name’s Matilda. Found her in the dumpster behind school. She told me she was lonely, so I took her home.”

“She told you?” Sebastian asked flatly, looking at Randal like he had grown a second head.

“Yeah,” Randal said casually. “She’s shy, though. Doesn’t talk to just anyone.”

You tilted your head, studying the doll. “I get it. I’ve got one like that. Her name’s Clementine. Found her in an old attic. She doesn’t like sunlight, though. Says it burns her eyes.”

Randal’s grin widened. “See? You get it. Dolls are way more interesting than people.”

Sebastian groaned, rubbing his temples. “You’re both insane.”

“Thanks,” you and Randal said in unison, clearly taking it as a compliment.

“Hey,” Randal said, nudging you. “If Matilda and Clementine ever meet, do you think they’d get along?”

“Maybe,” you said, tapping your chin thoughtfully. “But Clementine’s kinda territorial. She doesn’t like sharing her shelf.”

Randal nodded, completely serious. “I get that. Matilda’s the same way. Maybe we could set up a playdate and see how it goes.”

Sebastian blinked at the two of you, utterly baffled. “You’re actually planning a playdate… for your dolls?”

“Yeah,” you said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

“Why not?” Randal added, shrugging.

Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Randal turned to you, his expression mischievous. “So, do you name all your dolls, or just the special ones?”

“All of them,” you said, smirking. “Even the ones that don’t have heads. They’ve got personalities, you know.”

“I knew you’d get it,” Randal said, practically beaming.

Sebastian, meanwhile, looked like he was ready to throw himself out of the tree. “This is my nightmare,” he muttered.

You and Randal ignored him, falling into a deep conversation about doll maintenance. You compared notes on cleaning techniques, how oil made their eyeballs shinier, repair methods, and the best way to keep their clothes from fraying.

“I use a sewing kit,” Randal said, pulling out a needle from his jacket pocket. “Got it from Big Brother's room. Don’t tell him, though. He gets all cranky when I ‘borrow’ his stuff.”

“Noted,” you said with a grin. “I usually just glue things back together, but sewing sounds cool.”

Before Randal could reply, there was a loud crack.

All three of you froze, glancing at the branch beneath you. It groaned ominously, swaying under your combined weight.

“Uh… guys?” Sebastian said, his voice rising an octave. “This branch isn’t—”

SNAP!

The branch gave way, and the three of you plummeted to the ground in a chaotic tangle of limbs. You hit the dirt with a loud thud, Randal landing on top of you and Sebastian sprawled awkwardly beside you.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then Randal burst out laughing, clutching his sides. “That was awesome! We almost died!!”

Sebastian groaned, rolling onto his back. “I hate you. I hate both of you.”

You laughed, brushing leaves out of your hair. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“No, because it was terrible,” Sebastian grumbled.

Randal sat up, still grinning. “Let’s do it again!”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in horror. “Absolutely not!”

You smirked, nudging Randal with your elbow. “He’s no fun.”

“None at all,” Randal agreed.

Sebastian groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I just wanna go home..”

Randal's eyes gleamed for a second before turning to you.

"Oh yeah if forgot! Big brother said i had to be home by 7pm, what time is it?"

You quickly pulled out your old pocket watch and struggled to read the time.

"Uhh its 11pm"

Randal blinked, then burst into laughter, leaning back against the tree trunk with a manic grin. "Oops. Guess I’m grounded again."

You chuckled, shaking your head as you dusted off your clothes. “What else is new?”

Sebastian groaned, dragging himself to his feet. “You’re both insane.

[mad-hatter-memes]

Shirts That Go Hard

A collection of dialogue prompts from sentences printed on shirts as seen on the blog shirtsthatgohard. Feel free to adjust quotes as necessary.

TW: Swearing, suggestive references, death references, drug references, just a whole lot of mature references.

"You say...Lesbians eat WHAT!!?"

"I do not serve cunt, I am cunt's servant."

"Contrary to popular belief, I have a dad."

"When I die I might not go to heaven. I don't know if they let cowboys in."

"Do you guys ever think about dying?"

"Sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian."

"I went to the Garfield Fan-Con In Cleveland, Ohio and all I got was pregnant."

"I have a lot of thoughts about the 2006 Adam Sandler film "Click"."

"I make my mom sad with my choices every day."

"I gotta see the candy first, then I get in the van. I'm not stupid."

"Your shirt says "Cocaine and Caviar" but your face says "Fish Sticks and Fentanyl"."

"Sorry I shoved a Rice Krispie Treat in your DVD player..."

"My parents said I could be anything, so I became an asshole."

"After all that surgery you are still ugly, and that is what gets me."

"Calling me fat is not an insult. I'm sorry my mom bought groceries and not crack.

"Denny's is just Waffle House for people who don't know how to fight."

"The only thing I like more than reading books is fucking."

"I am going to punch you in the mouth! With my mouth...softly...because I like you."

"You constantly amaze me, but not in a good way."

"If she is your girlfriend, why is she playing with my mullet?"

"What have you done to deserve your legs?"

""What's Updog?" how about you shut the fuck "Updog"?"

"I feel like 2007 Britney..."

"Jesus loves you, but I don't. Go fuck yourself."

"I don't know what's wrong with me but I can name several prescription medications that haven't helped."

"Sorry for having great tits and correct opinions."

"Everything I want to do is illegal!"

"I haven't lost my virginity, because I never lose."

"I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot one either."

"I believe in you! I also believe in Bigfoot so don't get too excited."

"Jesus loves you. It's just the rest of us who think you're an asshole."

"I just took 12 gas station dick pills and now I'm on my way to Applebee's."

"You can go to hell, I'm going to Toyotathon."

"I wish Italians were real..."

"Not now, sweetie. Mommy's cyberbullying the mayor."

"Baby girl you're so damn fine. Though, I'm trying to know if I can hit you with a pinecone.

"In this group is a Fox News viewer. Can't find them? That's because they live among us, be afraid..."

"You're not a "Bad Bitch", you're a bad person."

"If there's no Bingo in heaven, I'm NOT going."

"Toes are just thicker fingers."

"I'm gonna identify as a fucking problem."

"At least get me some coffee before you start in with your horseshit."

"You're twisted, perverted, and sick...I like that in a person!"

"I don't need life, I'm high on drugs!"

"Hating popular things doesn't make you an interesting person."

"Sorry princess, I only date women who might stab me."

"Kindly keep your bullshit to your fucking self."

"We're all trying to kill time, while time kills us."

"What the fuck is really going on?"

"If you heard anything bad about me, believe all that shit and leave me the fuck alone."

"Bigfoot is real and he tried to eat my ass."

"If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my sister."

"Sweating sucks, I'd rather be embraced by the cold chill of autumn."

"Oh I don't drink, just drugs for me thanks!"

[upsidedownmvnson]

I love Eddie's little somethings, what would his reaction be when he finds out that you keep all the things he's made for you, you've pressed, dried, and kept a lot of flowers he got for you and stuck them in a scrapbook etc

STOP - they're talking about this post <3 but specifically this one;

when [eddie's] meant to give you gift (birthdays/holidays etc) he prefers to make something. one time he recorded two cassettes of himself playing all your favourite songs, one slow, instrumental & acoustic for studying, and one how they were meant to be sang for jamming. he's also made a popsicle stick diorama of your childhood tree fort that was torn down, and a DnD campaign on your birthday based on your favourite fantasy movie

so i imagine that eddie is like a outside cat

he finds shiny trinkets and brings them to you, the spoils of his adventures. but then curl up on your lap lol

he'd bring you anything, a pretty flower (or weed), a pinecone that looked funny, a pretty leaf, and he doesn't think you'll want them... he just likes to show you stuff

one day he's waiting for you in your room, you just had to run across the street to grab something for your mother from a neighbour, he couldn't come because he wasn't supposed to be over when your parents aren't home

and he's poking around for fun

not spying or snooping, you always let him look through your things bc you have nothing to hide, when the spine of a book catches his eye

it looks like a photo album, but when he pulled it out he wasn't surprised to see a picture of the two of you stuck to the front, and also little heart stickers. it was your favourite picture, eddie was in his throne, and you were across his lap, legs flopping over the armrest. you were both smiling so wide for the picture, because it had been the day eddie made a dnd campaign based on your favourite movie for your birthday, and you two had exchanged your first 'i love yous' in front of hellfire because you couldn't contain your love anymore (i should write a full imagine for this me thinks)

but when he opened it he realized it was a scrap book

the inside cover page was your character from that day (your fav character from the movie)

and the next page was filled with flowers, all pressed flat and dry, assembled intricately around post-it notes, taped down with little passages on them. some were quotes. some were reasons you loved eddie. some were little memories you didn't want to forget.

he was so fixated on the book that he had to sit down, his eyes glossing over from reading all the sweet things you thought about him

it was more real, seeing things you'd written without assuming eddie would see it. it was your real, pure feelings for him.

he flipped thru the pages to find all sorts of things like that. notes he'd written you & left in your locker or passed to you in class. tickets to movies or shows you'd gone to.

a tear landed on the page, and it shocked eddie. he was crying. he was so happy. it made no sense to him, how someone like you could invest all your time and love into him.

his heart was so full

"awh, baby," you'd say from the doorway, leaning on it. "it wasn't supposed to make you cry."

and he'd discard the book beside him, saying nothing but opening his arms so you would come sit with him.

and of course you did, straddling him, and letting him bury his head in your shoulder. he sniffled, his shoulder shaking gently from the overwhelming feelings he was having. he'd never ever felt like this.

"it's beautiful, thank you for making that."

and he'd also collected everything you'd ever given him, and he would for sure be making one of this to keep at his house.

you would rub his hair, soothing him and whispering sweet things, reminding him that you love him, and more importantly that he was worth all the love. you wanted him to know he deserved it. deserved the whole damn world <3

"okay but check this out"

and you'd take him over to a shelf that had the popsicle stick diorama of your childhood treehouse and took it down.

he'd noticed it had a hinge on the back, but he hadn't put it there

you had carefully cut the glue to the roof so it could open like a hatch, and inside you'd made it even better, painting it to actually look like the fort, and adding some little doll furniture. it was an idea dustin had thrown out while they were making it but he'd never been inside.

he wanted to ask if it was accurate but there was more

there were all kinds of things stuffed in there, it looked like a squirrel was living in there.

and he realized it was the spoils of adventure that he'd brought you. pinecones, rocks, a fake quarter, the monopoly dog, a gum wrapper with a joke on it

and he wanted to cry again but he didn't, instead just put the treehouse away, and pulled you in for the biggest bear hug ever.

he picked you up and spun you around a few time, before walking you over to the bed so he could drop you on it, climbing on top of you to kiss you, and so eddie show you how much he really appreciated it

[creepypasta65]

Hi what do u think the creepypastas hobbies would be?

I chose random characters if that's okay. Thanks for the request :)

Toby, Jeff, and Eyeless Jack Hobbies:

Toby 🪓:

Toby loves woodcarving.

In his spare time, he carves animals with a pocket knife and gifts them to some mansion residents like Nina or Ben.

He likes hatchet throwing for obvious reasons. Toby has gained nice biceps from throwing hatchets.

Toby draws. Though he's not the best artist, he can draw pretty decently. He mostly draws abstract or cartoonish drawings.

He likes walking and exploring the forest, collecting rocks, pinecones, and sticks.

Toby also likes photography. He takes pictures of animals around the forest like deer, raccoons, ducks, etc.

He enjoys playing video games with Ben and Jeff. He may not be the best at them but enjoys them.

Jeff🔪:

Jeff also does woodcarving. Sometimes, he and Toby carve together or make each other little figures.

He is a workout type of dude. Jeff cares about his appearance, especially his body. He works out a lot. He has many dumbbells in his room. Jeff's weight lifts the most he can lift is probably 50 to 100lbs.

Jeff also likes boxing to take out his anger and stress.

Jeff plays video games with Ben and Toby. He enjoys beating Toby but rages when Ben beats him.

Loves listening to music. He enjoys rock bands like Mcr, PTV, The Cure, etc.

Jeff also enjoys watching horror films and makes fun of the dumb protagonist. He's like, "What are you doing RUN!". Yeah, he yells at the TV.

He plays the electric guitar and practices his favorite songs. He usually plays when he's alone because he doesn't want anyone to know.

Eyeless Jack🫘:

Jack enjoys reading. His favorite books are non-fiction, mystery, and thriller with the occasional romance. Yeah, he likes love stories.

However, he still reads medical books about the human body.

He is a writer. Jack is currently writing a book, which is a mini-series about a detective.

Jack also likes working out. His workout buddy is Jeff. They both encourage each other to do better.

He is a fan of astronomy and loves stargazing. Jack also knows all the constellations. Not many of the creepypastas know that about him. Pls ask him about the stars or constellations, he would be so happy to tell you everything about them.

Jack likes cooking. It reminds him of when he was human. He gets so happy when the creepypastas ask him to cook or compliment his food. However, he can't eat any of it because it makes him sick he can only remember how it tastes.

He likes playing checkers and chess.

Should I make a pt2? Have a nice day/night :)

[lovezbrownies]

Nia with a weird reader who likes naming pinecones after people they like (shes not one of them)

Unfaithful rat bastard. (Yandere Queen x GN!Reader.)

Nia's Masterlist - General Masterlist

Synopsis: You cheat on your Queen, your wife. With pinecones.a

Nia Bloodwen x GN!Reader.

Warnings: Nia's usual dramatics!

You sat cross-legged in the royal garden, eyes narrowed as you carefully examined the pinecones spread out in front of you. Each one had been named after someone important, someone you actually liked. With a sigh, you picked up a particularly symmetrical one and gave it a once-over.

"Maybe… Aria," you muttered to yourself.

"Aria?!" Nia’s voice rang out, startling you and causing the pinecone to slip from your hands. You gritted your teeth and looked up, seeing her marching toward you with all the grace and drama of a queen who knew exactly how to make an entrance.

She stood over you, hands on her hips, eyes wide with mock indignation. “Did I hear that right? You named that pinecone after Aria?”

Suppressing a groan, you kept your voice level. “Yes, Aria. Because I like her.”

“And yet…” Nia's voice took on a wounded, exaggerated tone. “I see no pinecone in this pile named after me—your beloved queen?”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “That’s because you don’t have one.”

Her gasp was loud and dramatic, as if you’d just told her the kingdom had fallen. “No pinecone?! None for me? Not one, even after all the affection I’ve lavished on you?”

You stared at her blankly, half-expecting her to laugh and admit she was joking, but of course, this was Nia. She was dead serious—or at least, serious in the way only she could be, with theatrical flair and a whole lot of misplaced priorities.

“Nia,” you said, your patience wearing thin, “not everything revolves around you. Pinecones are special. I name them after people I actually like.”

“I’m your wife! How am I not on that list?” Nia flopped dramatically onto the grass beside you, throwing her arms over her face as though she were about to faint from the sheer tragedy of being left out. “How can you sit here and name these after everyone else? Aria of all people? I give you everything, and this is how you repay me?”

You shot her an exasperated look, more than used to her dramatics by now. “Nia, it’s not that deep. They’re pinecones.”

“But to you, they mean something! You name them after people you care about! I’m the queen—you should care about me the most!” She flung an arm out, her voice rising as if she was delivering some grand speech to the kingdom. “I’m devastated! Utterly heartbroken!”

You rolled your eyes, brushing some dirt off your hands. “You’re the queen, Nia. I think you’ll survive.”

She peeked at you from between her fingers, eyes wide and imploring. “But it hurts, my love. You don’t even know how much I’ve suffered without my pinecone!”

“Nia,” you snapped, rubbing your forehead, “it’s a stupid pinecone! Why do you even care?”

She gasped again, her voice cracking with false anguish. “How could you say that? It’s not stupid if it means something to you! And if it means something to you, it should mean something to me! I just want to be part of this little… tradition of yours.”

You stood up, shaking the dirt from your pants as you glared down at her. “Well, too bad. I haven’t found a pinecone that reminds me of you. And honestly? I don’t think I will.”

Nia sat up, blinking at you in genuine surprise for a moment. Then, in typical fashion, she shrugged it off, standing up and brushing imaginary dirt from her gown. “Well, I suppose you just haven’t found a pinecone worthy of me yet.”

You huffed in frustration. “Or maybe I just don’t think you deserve one.”

Nia’s lips curled into a smile, and she stepped closer, her voice soft and teasing. “Oh, I see how it is. You’re just playing hard to get, aren’t you, darling?”

“Hard to—?” You groaned and turned away, thoroughly done with the conversation. “Forget it. I’m done talking about this.”

But Nia followed after you, clearly not ready to let go of the topic just yet. “Don’t worry, my love,” she said, her tone impossibly sweet. “I’ll be patient. When you finally find the perfect pinecone for me, I’ll cherish it forever.”

You grumbled under your breath as you stomped off. Nia was impossible, utterly impossible. But deep down, you knew she wouldn’t stop until she had that pinecone.

And you were completely right. Seeing how your side of your shared bed is covered in spiky pinecones, “I ordered a shipment of pinecones, search and find one best for your darling wife! Oh how romantic!” Nia giggles, kicking her feet in excitement as you, exasperated, sort through the pinecones only for her.