#(overstimulation sensory nightmare)

[c-kiddo]

my absolute dream house is a little bit midcentury (i saw a beautiful house on instagram) but ultimately minimalist but using warm materials (off white walls in warm grey or blue tones with hardwood floors is my rly rly favourite combination. airy). minimalist and highly practical design. storage and space for the colour in the room to come from things i already use , art stuff, hiking gear, plants, dishes. but space for clear surfaces, space for resting my brain and eyes and everything to be put away. big window that faces trees or a wide open space, not something overstimulating. i would love that

[solitaireships]

My crush list has massively shrunk in the last week, who wants to recommend f/os to me (this is a genuine thing, feel free to send asks/replies/whatever else)

[autisticlee]

I know I need to "just do things by myself" like literally everyone tells me, but I really wish I had someone I can always ask to go places with me even if it's just to one store for one quick thing.

I barely have the ability to function enough to take care of myself daily. leaving the house for any reason is basically impossible most days. I don't have the energy and ability to drive, find the thing I need at a store, interact with people, and do the checkout dance, then drive home, all while acting "normal" (or appropriate/presentably human enough) in public with the added bonus of sensory overload. for most people, going to the store is one single task. that's all it is. for me, it's hundreds of simultaneously occurring steps I need to remember to do and maintain the entire time....

it's so hard to explain this to people. no one gets it. but i need someone else to do the human-ing for me and I just follow along. they drive, answer or ask questions and let focus be on them, lead me to the thing I need, let me copy them so I dont stand out with my weirdness...so many times i'll go to a store to get a few things alone. the sensory cacophony of everything hitting me at once makes me forget what I'm looking for, tunnel vision on the offending sensory input and can't see where i'm going, can't find things even if they're in the same place they've always been, i've run into people and things, knocking stuff over, because my body disconnects from my brain and it's hard to control. if people talk to me, I can't process their words or respond. I can't ask questions if I need to. i'll wander lost for way longer than I want to be there.

this whole time, i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably obvious because idk how to act "normal" or as expected when alone. so many times I come home without one or more of the things I needed from a store even if I had a list in hand.

I completely space out and dissociate way more often than i would like. not even stores when i need to go in and out quickly, but anywhere. if I try going to a thing that's supposed to be fun, like say a festival or aquarium or anything else, and I go alone because I don't have a friend to go with, I spend the whole time in a sensory overloaded, dissociative state, while being required to perform "normal human" rituals and masking. then get home, realizing I didn't enjoy it or retain much of it because my brain was overworking and i got exhausted as soon as i got there. i didnt get to relax and enjoy any of it because it was so much work and my brain shut down while there to try protecting itself. it's a whole brain exercise that exhausts me beyond belief. this whole time. i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably actually very obvious because idk how to act "normal" when alone and don't have someone to copy and follow.

if I have someone familiar with me, especially someone comfortable who i dont have to lead or entertain, I can ground myself better and focus more on them. I follow and copy them so I dont have the try as hard to be a human and think about doing human things. it's easier to copy someone doing the things than to try to think of the hundred steps you probably forgot and perform them alone. they always answer people so fast before I even processed half the words that were said to me.

it always surprises me when people do that. they'll answer a question before I even processed it was a question! I always need someone to be there for me to answer for me because i'm too slow, they get impatient, and/or I answer incorrectly, if i'm able to speak at all being semi-speaking. at least half the time if I do get words out, they don't hear me or mishear me. for example, just yesterday, I made my mom go to a new sushi restaurant with me. the waiter apparently asked if I was ready to pay, my mom was gesturing to me ans asking if im ready or something and the waiter was looking at me, but my brain couldn't make any of it out at all. I was staring between them like ???????? and gave up and just shook my head no. my brain was trying to figure it out and process anything at all, but i got incredibly confused and completely froze up. my mom answered "not yet" and they left. I was like, what was that about ? She said "they wanted you to pay now. you're ready to go right? now we have to wait again." I didn't get any of that, and if I was alone, that would have been even worse because I wasn't able to figure out anything or even say words. I need someone with me at all times to cover my perpetually lost and confused ass lmao

but it's also a struggle when the other person is like this too, puts too much attention on me, or expects me to lead us both. it causes the same effects as if i'm alone, plus the added bonus of needing to entertain and/or advocate/answer for and lead THEM, when I can't even do it for myself! I had a friend like that and it was annoying and immediately exhausting every time we hung out.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. i'm sure at least one person's gets it, though, right? how it's hard to consciously and appropriately act human in public when alone, but copying or hiding behind another person makes it easier than thinking about it all yourself, while sensory overload! if i can I just exist along with them and the focus isn't all on me like it is when i'm alone, it's a lot easier.

acting "normal" like a human, or basically what's "appropriate" in public spaces around others takes so much brain power that most people don't have to even think about! because it's automatic for them. so they can't fathom how much i'm struggling and it's so easy for them to say "just do it/you don't need help/you don't need someone to do it with or for you/you're being lazy!" plus adding on sensory overload you can't ignore, while everyone else is able to completely tune out and ignore the horrible lighting, the squeaky cart wheels, the crying babies and screaming kids, the 50 different conversations, the loud phone ring tone a few aisles over, the annoying music playing, someone dropping a box of something, crinkling of wrappers, the cash register beeps, the air being a bit too chilly, the annoying seam on your socks, the scratchy material of your jacket, the overly bright display of products, etc. everything all at once in great intensity. people who can ignore this don't know how lucky they are. they also don't understand what it feels like. it's exhausting.

i'm like a cave gremlin seeing light and the world for the first time ever, every time I leave my room. everything is confusing and overwhelming, but because i'm human shaped, everyone expects me to have the expected human behaviors and they freak out when i dont meet those standards. they don't care how difficult it is for me and how much i'm struggling. they won't help or accommodate me. it has to be my fault I made them uncomfortable.

exposure doesn't make it any better and arguably makes it worse because more sensory overload and more need to use my brain to overthink every word and movement I do, leading to a very deep exhaustion immediately 😫

this is why functioning labels or comparing me to my "good" days/experiences sucks and shouldn't happen. I often need help/support and people expect me to ~do it myself~ and refuse to help me so I struggle and fail to exist correctly.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I’m a musician and I recognize the need for practice BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DOES EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE HAVE TO PRACTICE THEIR INSTRUMENTS AT EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY

I’m trying to get shit done and the constant noise is sucking the life out of me. The man finished the whole upstairs himself for his instruments and didn’t even think of soundproofing for recording purposes. I haven’t even found a place yet and I’m already looking at soundproofing.

[fallenfawnn]

im so so so over being sick :(

[artsykerfufflespam]

Sensory overload is a nightmare and honestly i think misunderstood as something someone can get over.

I had to weld for one of my classes today (ive been avoiding the actual welding all year bc when i tried it at the beginning of the year i hated it but didnt really know why). As soon as i got started i felt frustrated, angry, irritated, and panicked. I finished a plate and went back to the classroom only to find the teacher there. When he asked how i liked the new type of welding i said i hated it and started crying while shaking my hands to self regulate. Im sure he didnt understand the severity of it to me even when u said "its too much sensory input". Hes still going to make me do it tmw. Through my overload i had to listen to him tell me that "it just takes getting used to". How tf do i explain autistic sensory overload? How ive always been this way n if not for it id probably be fine at welding, but that it is genuinely torture bc of the sound, the flashing lights, the smell, the feeling of the clothes, everything, even if im "not paying attention to it" consciously it still gets to me. Especially without an autism diagnosis or sensory issues on my iep. I just dont know if i can do it again tmw and the day after and the day after for the rest of the school year.

[helmarok]

the running gag where jessie can't pronounce words, mixes them up, or doesn't know what they mean is one of my favorite things not just cuz its funny and cute that she says the wrong thing in full confidence, but how it reflects the difference between her and james' upbringing. of course jessie fails to understand basic words while james is a walking dictionary who speaks like a privileged nerd- jessie grew up poor with very little and shitty schooling while james had private tutors and probably an entire library 😭

[foxgloveinspace]

F0X.exe has stopped responding.

Beginning restart.

Program can run slowly in the background, full sped function will restore on, 1.1.24.

[secondstar-acorn]

why are t-shirts such a sensory nightmare if they’re exactly your size or smaller. gotta tug down the sleeves constantly. neckline is either awkwardly far down or it’s choking you. untucked they’re too long and they wrap weird around your hips. tucked they bunch up strangely and you gotta pull them back or forward every half second. they are Never correctly aligned. only slightly too far left or right. never centre. did I mention the fucking neckline?????? they’re always weirdly tight in random places and weirdly loose in others. the Standard T-Shirt Fabric is horrendous. I hate them. they’re my worst enemy.

[sillimancer]

it's like this see

[gravehags]

had an anxiety attack at dinner and had to go sit out in the car like an overstimulated toddler 🥴 got home, took a klonopin, and about to take a shower. ask me anything.

[knifegremliin]

but fuck these guys.

[ailesswhumptober]

Prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023

It’s finally time! These are your official prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! We have 31 days of wonderful whump prompts. Each day has a set of 3 different prompts to choose from! Alternative prompts will be posted under the cut.

Happy whumping!

Here are the alternative prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! There is one alternative prompt for every day in October.

AI-less Whumptober 2023

Drugging / sick / poisoned 

Overworked / insomnia / Exhaustion

Sensory deprivation / overstimulation / isolation 

Hiding an injury / betrayal / lying

Hostage / kidnapping / Held at gunpoint

Conditioning / mind control / forced to hurt someone else

Flatline / Restrained / CPR

Panic attacks / Dissociation / Seizure

Scar reveal / Interrogation / Presumed dead

Branding / Scarring / collar

Fainting / Paralyzed / Adrenaline 

Self harm / Sacrifice / Character death

Earthquake / Flood / Crushed

Bleeding through the bandage / Field medicine / no anesthesia

Experimentation / Muzzle / transformation

Amputation/ chronic pain / Hospital

Hypothermia / heat stroke / “You look a little pale”

Fever / vomiting / Warm soup

Taken for granted/ Left behind/ “Why wasn’t I enough?”

Dehumanization/ Stockholm Syndrome/ Master and servant

Blood loss / shock / Near death experience

Whipping / Punishment / Stress position

Begging / “Take me instead” / Forced to watch

Failed escape / hunted down / Too exhausted to keep running

 Nightmares / Flashback / “Why didn’t you save me?”

 Magical exhaustion or injury / Curse / Came back wrong

 Forgotten/ Locked away/ Immortal Whumpee

 Hair pulling / Oxygen Deprivation / Sweating

 “The easy way or the hard way?” / Bargaining / Forced to choose

 Possession / Mind Games / Coma

PTSD / Headaches / Crying  Here are the alternative prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2023! There is one alternative prompt for every day in October.

Bloody knuckles

Gunshot wound

Separated from loved ones

Drowning

Blackmail

Crying to sleep

Disowned by family

Electrocution

Forced feeding

Bullied

Suffocation

Abandoned

Grief 

Human Shield 

Self-defense

Lab rat

Memory loss

Misunderstanding

Hypnosis

Mutilation 

Mouth stitched shut

Nerve damage

Nervous breakdown

Words carved into skin

Stalked

Non-Consensual touching

Paranoia

Peer pressure

Prison

Silent treatment

Truth serum

[podcastenthusiast]

I know the show's creator didn't intend for Edwin to be autistic, but that's the guy they ended up with so... I think more of those "the boys are alive temporarily" fics should deal with what a fucking sensory nightmare it would be for Edwin.

I mean, outside of Hell he hasn't really felt anything for decades, and suddenly there's so many goddamn textures and smells and even the clothes he wears like armor don't feel quite right against his skin, probably because they feel at all. Plus he has to eat now?!

Charles would be so keen for him to try all sorts of foods but being so overstimulated I doubt Edwin could really handle more than like a tortilla with some peanut butter on it initially. He doesn't want to ruin this for Charles though, who hated being dead, so Edwin really does try his best to enjoy the time they have alive, but it's all just too overwhelming and he ultimately sends himself into a bit of a meltdown.

Even worse, now they have to serious talk about not ignoring your own needs because you think it will make your best friend happy ("that's my job anyway, innit?" Charles jokes, which Edwin doesn't think is very funny.)

[spark-river]

Brotherly Comfort

Headcanon:

The younger brothers sometimes go to their older siblings for comfort.

Leviathan is the chosen brother whenever someone struggles with overstimulation or generally being overwhelmed. The lights in his room can be dimmed and he'll even have some free spaces for others to rest in if they need a break from sensory input. One of those such places is even on the floor in case the feeling of fabric is simply too much.

For other problems or smaller sensory issues he may offer to watch a comfort anime with whichever brother of his needs it. He may not feel as at home in the older brother role but he still cares about his family. Wanting for them to feel safe and well, even if he's envious of something of theirs or they had a fight not too long ago.

Despite the brothers tendency to ridicule Mammon, they (especially the younger ones) go to him for emotional needs. While Belphie and Beel may get their affection mostly from each other. Mammon is still the safest bet to go to to cuddle or simply spend time with. Even if he'll act offended, if he thinks it's needed to cheer someone up, he'll gladly be the butt of the joke.

With other emotional needs such as peptalks or break ups he will also gladly provide. Especially since he will keep anything his brothers tell him secret. They don't want anyone else to know they even were in love with someone in the first place? Say no more, he won't let them know. His baby brothers might be grown up but he knows how vulnerable they are in such moments. He won't break their trust when it counts.

Lucifer is the go to if you feel unsafe. He'll be the moodiest but won't send any of his brothers away when they need him. He'll take them under his wings both metaphorically and literally. If they had a nightmare and feel unsafe he'll wrap them up in his wings. Making sure his brothers remember that they're no longer in the Celestial Realm but in the Devildome and that their brother will protect them at all cost.

But he's also a good choice if someone gets threatened. Depending on how serious the threat is and whether or not his brothers ask him for help, he'll make whoever dares to even think of hurting his brothers experience pain beyond imagination.

[cuntressgoingdigital]

free palestine! click this link for more info + dono links (if you have links to any other gfms/resources pls send them to me so i can update the list!)

hello hello i am here with some abby x autistic! reader content bc i know i cant be the only autistic person obsessed with her. yes this is completely self indulgent.

i kinda just threw words on the page, but i hope someone out there will enjoy :)

it takes ages for you and abby to actually get together because you were entirely oblivious to her advances. during breakfast you had spent a solid thirty minutes talking about the different wildflowers that grew in north america and their significance in literature. abby thought your passion for the subject was sweet so while on patrol she picked some flowers that kind of looked like the ones in the pictures you showed her. when she presented them to you, your squeals of joy made her entire face light up. 

“ah, thank you!”

you think nothing of it, assuming she was just being nice. you always assume she’s just being nice. so when you accidentally end up on a moonlit picnic date with her and she asks to kiss you, your eyebrows raise in confusion. 

abby looks mortified “oh god, did i make things weird? i’m sorry.”

“no, no!” you reassure her. “i just…didn’t know this was a date.”

she could throw up on the spot. had she misread the situation? sure she never said the word “date”, but she told you that she wanted to spend some time alone with you. she brought you flowers, wine (if you could even call it that) that owen had been fermenting, and you two had been cuddling under the stars for the better part of an hour. 

“you can kiss me.” your fingers fiddled with the stitching of the blanket beneath the two of you. “i would like that, actually.” 

when you start dating you apologize profusely about all of your sensory quirks. you didn’t want to cuddle after she washed her hair because you hated the feeling of her wet hair on your skin. she kept separate blankets for you because you didn’t like the texture of the fabric on hers. 

you nearly cried after the only time you snapped at her. someone was playing music in the mess hall, everyone was talking over each other, the smell and texture of the mushy broccoli was overwhelming, and abby was asking too many questions about your assignments for the day. 

“please just be quiet for a second!” your tone had been a little sharper than you intended. abby looked hurt until tears welled in your eyes and you apologized over and over. you talked it over after dinner and obviously abby wasn’t mad at you (not that she ever could be). 

after that, whenever she would play music she always made a point to ask 

“is that too loud?”

and you absolutely hated patrol. all the yelling, the occasional gunfire, that god awful clicking. it was an overstimulating nightmare. abby often picked up your shifts whenever she could to save you the misery of leaving base. on the off chance that she couldn’t, she would always make sure a few pairs of ear plugs were in your bag.

you fight the need to vocal stim around people who aren’t her. it was a weight off your shoulders when you finally felt brave enough to explain it to her. at first, she just ignored them, growing accustomed to the empty noise. one day, when you’re softly meowing on repeat, she decided to join in. the two of you would meow back and forth until you erupted into giggles.

abby never made you feel weird about anything. sure, she had questions, but never in an invasive way. she just wanted to cater to and accommodate you as best she could. all because she loves you. 

i may write more of this if people like it? i have a plethora of experiences to draw inspo from lmao