#i love our family
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sometimes ill just be chilling and then ill remember that im living with the love of my life and we have our own little family even if its just me and him and our two cats lol
it makes me so happy. cant believe itll be 3 years in december
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I’m sitting at island with a large blanket over me, hovering over a mug of tea
i love morning time on tumblr its like we are the only ppl awake in a big house downstairs in the kitchen
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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apparently nick divorced dean before they were even married because dean wears socks with sandals dijdbfjwkejdbnodwicn
SCREAMING SJSJSJSJSJSJSN
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trans tumblr
#trans poetry#not nsft#sab#🫀#t4t#i think we can only really be here and love each other#because our families are rarely to be trusted
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sketching for pocky day!! wish i had more time... 🥹
also, trying to figure out a style for "quick" art is hard. this was literally my "concept" sketch, but i was so physically fatigued to lineart, help- i was FIGHTING the sleep LOL
#i grew up eating pocky as a small kid everytime my mom would need to shop at the asian market for our cultural food items lmao#SUPER NOSTALGIC love pocky forever#my art#fanart#spy x family#art#anime#spy x family fanart#twiyor#animeart#digital art#loid forger#yor forger
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i saw a video where a woman’s husband said hello to her best friend (they touched cheeks with a short mwah) and so many people felt that this would be a personal boundary violation for them, so i’m curious what the consensus is!!
keeping it simple, no nuance + if u think ur ethnicity or culture has to do w your answer i would love to know!! 🫂😚💕💕
#i do it often but mostly with family + family friends + some people from my family’s ‘religion’#and the ‘peck on the cheek’ is rarely ever a true kiss. we kinda bunch our lips to the side and make a kiss noise while our cheeks touch!!#also i was raised w puerto rican roots 🇵🇷 so i think that has to do w my norm#and!! i would never touch cheeks w someone i didnt think was being covid safe no matter who they are#and i absolutely never came close to doing it at the height of the pandemic#i never felt much pressure to do it u know??#i was never made to feel like i NEED to do it so i’ve always been comfy avoiding it when needed for the sake of my health#but in closing: i don’t mind it/never thought much of it until now!!#anyways.txt#poll#(also by ‘no nuance’ i meant in the poll options. i love reading everyone’s personal nuance <3)
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#evidence of life#:3<3#໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝/ \⸝꒱ྀིა …nun era over………….hi guys i fell in love yes me i know right yes this oleta : )#probably will [ACTUALLY] be active yk i had to secure the bag and try to make sure the family will love me despite : D#anyways have a good summer yall !#wowwwwwwwww people who have been here since day one know how touch repulsed i was and how i took years to even be okay with kissing irl lol#deadass thought i’d just be kissing girls this summer but right now i’m in bed with a man and our biological son 🐈⬛ <3#life comes at you fast#100#btw this is my edit like the original didn’t look like this this is the doomer gf version#1k#edit: omggg if you don’t know me the ‘just kissing girls’ might read wrong im just primarily attracted to women and i assumed my big step#into intimacy would be kissing [girls] aka not literally falling in love with some guy who is currently wrapped around me and snoring <33
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation#though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name...#unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt.#this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did#and he has a Complex about it#i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill#so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too#i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared#on the subject of actual canon though#i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other#that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances#and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much#(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid)#it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him#sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭#and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)'#i love. Characters.
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what a difference ten years makes. like night and day! 🔆
#i love the family dynamics in the our life games so much#the Suarezes are my favourite but the Holden father-son duo has a special place in my heart#seeing their relationship gradually improve as they learn to communicate with each other better is just really heartwarming#cove holden#cliff holden#our life: beginnings & always#olba#my art
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i think it’s important everyone knows about the little roman girl who died at only five years and seven months old, and her grave reads "dum vixi, lusi" or "while i lived, i played"
#her epitaph actually has a much longer poem which contains this line#and it’s not like. stylistically high quality poetry either#which indicates this was not a poem someone was hired to write for the grave (as was a relatively common practice)#but instead written out of love by one of her family members#it’s twenty three lines of mostly correct dactylic hexameter#and it makes me bawl when i read it#we translated it in a latin class i took a few years ago and then wrote our own latin poems about our friends
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it doesn't need to be said, but felix appreciates it regardless, warmth swelling within him, a miniature sun come to life in his chest. he's glad to be worthy of leo's trust, even when it'd hurt (he never regretted once agreeing to care for his sisters, but that doesn't mean it didn't sting, to be left behind.) and each time he and will venture beyond the safety they've built here, he's asking leo to trust him again: not only that they'll return unscathed, but that they won't compromise their home. it's exactly why felix needs to be so familiar with the terrain: to be able to spot any intruders, CRM or otherwise. because maybe the military's fully retreated - but there's always the chance they haven't. and felix refuses to let down his guard while they're still a threat.
he's still pulled taut now, an arrow prepared to fire, a hypervigilance he hasn't been able to shake since their flight from the research base. felix feels a degree of guilt, at how absent he is from his family - so many miles and months to reunite, and he pulls will away on his excursions. leo's insight about hope worsens it for a beat, pulls felix's mouth to an undeniable frown, his chest aching for a handful of heartbeats like he's been punched, and he has to struggle against the feeling to suck in a breath.
it's a messy, slow recovery to being able to speak again, and when he does, his gaze is squarely on the floor, felix murmuring quietly, "i always miss her, too." it's then that he decides definitively that they'll take a break from the expeditions; it's an idea will casually floated on their trek back, felix replying with a noncommittal shrug - but maybe he was right. maybe it's the best thing to do.
and maybe it's easier to commit to it when he's actually back home, in the presence of all he leaves behind. a little courage seeps into veins, and felix manages to smile at leo, nose and eyes scrunching, as his arms cross, his thumb rubbing anxiously across a pink flower recently tattooed on his bicep. "maybe..." he starts, and almost immediately, his smile's widening, a beaming grin flashing at his dad. "maybe we could all have dinner with him soon? not tonight," felix says. "will's probably too tired, and i wanna give him a night to settle back in. but - tomorrow." felix raises a brow suddenly, tone turning inquisitive. "hope would be okay with that...?"
leo scoffs, almost in amusement, because he'll say the same thing to iris when she finally returns, too: ❝ I've never doubted you, ❞ he reminds proudly, a soft chuckle following. it's the truth, even when felix was younger, and leo and kari where'd still trying to figure out what they could do for the kid ( it was already decided, though— they knew he was about to be his son. they were just waiting for felix to allow himself that life, too. )
felix doesn't owe him any kind of defense; he knew long ago that his kids were all bound to make something of themselves, and he understood that didn't always mean that they'd be close by. even he can understand it, personally, given how long he was away from home— stuck in a place they'd clearly been suspicious of for good reason, long before leo himself ever was. he trusts them all, no matter how much he wishes they could all be together, in one place, building a home for themselves. ❝ I understand. hope was doing calculations, you know. trying to anticipate the day you'd return. I'll probably get in trouble for telling you, but I think she missed you, ❞ he teases, his smile bright as he gives his shoulder a soft pat.
he nearly asks if he was right, if they found anything, but the change of topic tells him all he needs to know. his head lifts slightly, and he offers a subtle nod before his lips turn into a small grin at the mention of garrett. ❝ he'd be right. it’s been nice. ❞ he starts to smile, because he can’t help it, always giving himself away to felix before he can stop it. ❝ — he’s been nice to have around, too, ❞ he adds, before felix has the chance to ask.
#hope rights willix rights leogarrett rights etc#i love our family#doomdays#ch: f. carlucci.#thread: f. carlucci.
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Taika puts his kids into his things...
(and from what I've seen Alex had family there too!)
... but what I love even more this time around is, that we got the woman who's basically RESPONSIBLE for the whole damn show as it is because she came across that strange Gentleman Pirate and told her genius writer husband about it!!!
Coming full circle with that one and i couldn't love DJ more (and I fucking love him to the end of the world and back already!)
Lad(ie)s and gentlepeople, Hellcat Maggie aka Josie Whittlesey aka David Jenkins' fabulous wife!
THANK YOU JOSIE indeed!!!!
#our flag means death season 2#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#spoiler#our flag means death#ofmd#david jenkins#full on family affair that show!!!#I love this soo soo much!!!!!
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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