#i love how i can express multiple thoughts on a single post using tags

[thunderblazz]

starryeyed send blog

[ingravinoveritas]

Did you see this picture yet? The first thing I realized was Michael's hand on David's back and their lovely smiles.

Hello! Yes, I did certainly see this group picture that was posted this morning, after every other picture had been posted. This is from Georgia's Insta, so for those who haven't seen the original post, here is a screenshot, along with a close-up of Michael and David, so we can see a little better:

It seems that Georgia's hashtag has been causing some confusion due to her use of an idiomatic expression, so for non-native speakers, the word "tits" has multiple meanings--colloquially, it's another word for breasts, but in British slang, a "tit" also refers to someone who is a fool or an idiot. So Georgia is saying here that she has tits, Anna has tits, and Michael and David are a pair of "tits" (idiots), which gives us the number three.

I did notice and enjoy that there is a "beading" theme to this picture, between David's suit and Anna's dress. I actually very much like her dress and how flattering it is, and it's something I would wear myself, although probably in a different color than white. I also love the way David's jacket sparkles, and there is something about him wearing it while standing next to Michael (who looks one box of bleach away from Aziraphale) that makes it have even more of a "the angel and the Starmaker" vibe to it. Because it's them. You know?

That was a large part of the impression I had of this picture, as it were. Of there being two distinct couples here, but perhaps not the couples you'd assume. It actually reminds me a lot of the picture that the four of them took in Lapland last year, which also looked like two gay couples rather than two straight ones. They all seem to look very comfortable in this arrangement as well, in a way that I felt was somewhat absent from a few of the pictures that were posted yesterday.

To your point, though, I did notice Michael's hand on David, and the warmth that radiated out just from that single touch. His hand is also noticeably low on David's waist, which echoes how we've seen Michael with his arm around David in the past, and is a lovely complement to David's hand being near Michael's neck. Michael's hair is also a bit disheveled compared to the red carpet photos, and I love the idea of it being messed up from a snogging session he and David were having in a coat closet before the girls pulled them out for a pic. Actually possible? Maybe, maybe not. But it's still a delicious thought.

Another thing I noticed is that there is something to the way Michael and David draw the eye in this picture. Georgia and AL are posing/smiling in the same exact way they do in every group picture...although unlike the others, this one wasn't a selfie, and so I wonder if that could be why they seem to be giving off a sense of discomfort to the camera. With Michael and David, the feeling is more one of hesitation. The warmth and crackliness and connection is still there, of course, but it's also almost as if they're holding back, somehow. Which doesn't seem very much like them, at least from what we've all see over the years.

It is a nice picture overall, though, which makes it unfortunate that Georgia's caption sort of takes away from the moment a bit. And given that she's been in the habit of adding these types of cutting comments/tags to a lot of her recent posts, it feels less like "British humor" and more like knowingly taking a dig at Michael and David. She could have just as easily posted the group pic without the hashtag, so at least for me, that's what makes her using it feel so deliberate.

So those are my thoughts on the Oliviers group picture. I am glad that we actually did get one of Michael and David, and to know that they did have the chance to interact at the event. I'd love to hear what other folks think as well, so feel free to add your perspective in the comments. Thanks for writing in! x

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

What do you think about people who use the Jikook tag to announce they no longer believe in Jikook as a ship? Or who post opinions such as no longer believing their friendship is special? I’m sort of torn because on one hand the tag isn’t technically a place for only pro-ship opinions, but on the other hand I thought it was general knowledge that most people use it to seek out positive content (and I don’t mean only pro-shipping, just positive content about whichever duo even in a platonic manner).

I just find it odd someone would feel the need to announce their personal, negative opinion about a ship publicly in a ship tag (especially if they go on to then complain in said ship tag about any negative response they receive). I also don’t understand why they thought their unprompted opinion was worth sharing in the first place when it seems like something only their friends and followers would really care about. It almost comes off a bit… self-important? Or maybe I’m just overly conscious of how I use tags and most people don’t think like this? I don’t think it helps that a lot of these posts carry an air of superiority where they paint themselves as more rational and objective than shippers… and it feels almost intentionally antagonistic to then purposefully post it in a place full of them.

Do you think my opinion is unfair or oversensitive? Am I wrong about how people use the tag and am I underestimating the demand for critical shipping content? Is it too controlling or unfair to criticize or judge a person for posting debunking/negative posts about a ship and their overall bond in their ship tag? Does this mentality negatively contribute to the toxicity of shippers and the overall hive-mind mentality of requiring each other to 100% believe said ship is real? Would it discourage or push away people who don’t believe in the ship but still enjoy and positively contribute to shipping spaces?

It’s obvious who I’m talking about if you go into the tag and I hate gossiping about other bloggers (and have absolutely nothing against them and hope people leave them alone if they don’t like their posts) so I don’t expect you to post this. But if you ever feel like writing about any of this, because it’s something I’ve seen multiple people do, I’d love to know your thoughts. I really like your stance on anti-shippers so I’d be curious to know your opinions on things like tag etiquette and the phenomenon of people needing to publicly announce when they no longer believe in a ship.

I know some people like to have an outlet to express their doubts on a ship being real or not and that’s valid, obviously there's a demand for spaces like that, and the tag doesn’t belong to just one group of people… but as someone who doesn’t even have a strong opinion on the nature of Jikook’s relationship, I still feel like it’s an odd way to spend your time when you could just have fun enjoying them without having to commit to thinking they’re romantic or not. And spamming a space people use to seek out positive content with your negative, cynical (and sometimes equally biased takes) just feels like such a douchey thing to do. But I still can’t tell if I’m being like… a bitch about it when obviously there’s a desire for content like that, people have a right to post whatever they want, and overly zealous shippers can be just as annoying.

Sorry to go off about this in your inbox! But if you have any thoughts to share on any of this one day, I’d love to hear them!

Thanks for sending me the follow up ask with the link. I'm not reading all that rant because I don't feel like getting angry in the morning and especially over a ship of all things. I have that person blocked since the beginning, I sort of clocked what their deal was. Not that difficult to figure it out.

I also understand why you have all these questions and it's perfectly valid. There is no single answer though. We do need to be careful to not transform online spaces in echo chambers, but the solution to that is not being antagonistic either. In some cases, that's clearly the purpose and you can see it in the username, usage of tags, how it's targeted and so on. We all end up knowing how things work on the platforms we mostly use.

Healthy conversations surrounding ships and shipping spaces should take place. But that space needs to be created in a way that feels inclusive and not exclusionary. It's one thing to want to talk about all aspects of a ship, what clicks to you or not while being open minded about it (phrasing and tone are an indication of that) and another is to purposefully want to spread an agenda. Not just this blogger you're referring to, but also others that I've seen throughout my time here. There is no conversation taking place, it's an invitation for like-minded people and thus creating their own echo chamber in which arguments in favor of the ship are dismissed. Ultimately, all what people want is to share their opinion and for others to approve it. There is no real conversation, just the illusion of it and somehow the lie is more prevalent in anti-shipping spaces in which so called rational, anti-delusional thinking is a sign of superiority, just like you pointed it out.

I don't think we can/should control what is being posted in a tag. Perhaps there's an established etiquette that I'm not aware of, but looking at it that way can perhaps be harmful in the long run. Nevertheless, I also don't believe that flooding a tag with mostly negative takes is the right way to go. Perhaps there should be a separate one for anti-shipping discourse or keeping it in-house.

It's also a personal choice at the end of the day. People can write whatever they want on their blog. I know that in my case, when I know that I write something that obviously has potential to upset/anger fans of a ship/person, I choose not to tag the name because I know nothing productive will come out of it and it will only lead to a confrontation. Which is ultimately a waste of time.

Having very strong opinions over a k-pop ship to the point of preaching it's realness or the opposite, its lack of romantic nature, is not something that can have moral superiority attached to it. Regardless of each side, I don't think most of the people actually know the private lives of these idols so perhaps being more chill about it should be the way to go.

I've said this numerous times, but as much as shipping is villainized as opposed to supporting or even anti-shipping, it is (or should be) ultimately a fandom practice that can be fun, without necessarily getting too deep into it or a reason for conflict. It's in our hands the way we behave and what we write.

And perhaps not being complete assholes about it helps.

[hurlumerlu]

... je peux en savoir plus sur le trans Peter ?

Oh ! I don't know how much this will interest you, but sure ? So trans Pete, and my tags on this post, refers to a fic I wrote about Pete Phongsakorn Saengtham - a.k.a Pete, a character from the show Kinnporsche.

(I've been somewhat obsessed with him and the way his role in the story bounces from "loyal soldier" to "best friend in a college romcom" to "goon number 3" to "silly guy" to "thriller protagonist" to "romantic lead" to "highlighter of themes and motives", wildly and not necessarily in that order.)

He ins't trans in the show, but I think his character is fun to examine through the lense of transidentity so I... actually didn't examine shit, but I did write a fic where he is a trans man. It's simply the re-writing of a scene that happens in the show, where Pete is captured and tortured by Vegas, our for now main antagonist, and his future love interest. Though the specifics change, the basis stay the same : Vegas's been hurting Pete for a while now, and though Pete isn't exactly chipper he's not fully breaking down either, so Vegas switches tactics until he finds something that could work. At which point Vegas's dad barges into the torture basement, berates his son for failing to follow orders and hits him, eliciting this interesting facial response from Pete. He then orders Vegas to clean up his mess (an expression that here means shoot Pete dead) and leave. Pete, seeing the end of the line... kinda laughs.

In my fic however, Pete doesn't just laugh - he speaks. The line is "by the way, interesting bruise you got on your face", referencing the way Vegas tried to taunt him earlier *and* the beating Pete just witnessed. And here is where we finally get to the point, because show!Pete would absolutely, 100%, not fucking say that.

Pete is a compassionate guy. Of course he can and will turn it off for work - he's a professional - but he is good at putting himself in other people's shoes. He is also not cruel (though I'm sure he could be if work demanded it) and we never see him pour salt on a wound even when he would have ample cause to do so. Crucially, Pete was also abused by his father, and this commonality is something he always uses to connect and sympathize with Vegas. But Pete is also cis. Naturally, you could write trans!Pete exactly like he is in the show. But when I was toying with the idea of Pete as a trans man, imagining him growing and rising up in a violent, hyper-masculine world, I thought "this guy's position was even worse than his show counterpart, he must at the very least have brushed off more insults, the pills he's had to swallow must have been just sliiiightly more bitter". So my Pete is a bit meaner, a bit less patient, a bit more judgemental (not that show!Pete isn't judgemental, lol. king of eye-rolls), and a bit more ready to use a weakness when he smells it. But even with all this, I still think my Pete wouldn't normally go there. Except he's had - to put it mildly - a shit day, and he wants to get it over with, so he does something out of character. He pours salt on the wound. And boy have I struggled with this single fucking line ! It wasn't in my first draft, and after that I kept adding it and putting it back in and removing it and putting it back in and just generally giving myself a full headache over it. Was it too out of character or just enough ? Well, I still don't know. I put it back at the last minute, for multiple reasons - not all pertinent on a writing level (for example, seeing a bit too many "sweet angel" characterization of the guy might have tipped the balance a bit. so did my wife saying she'd personally keep the line). I'm happy with that decision. At the same time, if I were to write a follow-up to this fic (which I am actually doing but I'm so fucking slow it will probably never see the light of day, moving on) I would probably scrap the line, because I'm pretty sure this sentence would destroy the chances of a relationship between them far more than any night of torture ever could. So, good for a short fic, not for a long one (or at least not one where they fall in love). Still : in the end, going ooc was the point, even if i'm not entirely sure about the results.

[besanii]

shattered mirrors 50

WangXian ; 1368 words

[follows part 05]

He watches from the parapets as the soldiers assemble in the courtyard below, the foot soldiers arranging themselves into neat formations and the cavalry gently nudging their horses in line. There are wagons laden with supplies—food, water, weapons for use on the road—although the majority had been sent ahead in batches to replenish the supplies on the front lines. Overhead, the blue clouds of Gusu Lan curl across white silk banners fluttering in the breeze, the same shade of blue as the soldier’s robes beneath their polished lamellar armour.

It is easy to spot Lan Wangji and Lan Guoyan amongst the crowd: they are the only ones with helmets decorated with plumes of Gusu Lan blue, and their polished armour gleams silver in the sunlight.

“Wei-gongzi.”

He turns and bows with his fingers clasped before him.

“Taizi-dianxia,” he says in greeting.

“You may rise,” Lan Xichen says, waving him to his feet with a smile. He is alone, his personal attendants standing further away and just out of earshot, their heads bowed to offer them privacy. “I am surprised to see you here, and not down there with Wangji and Guoyan.”

In the courtyard below, Lan Guoyan is shouting orders at the men and gesturing towards the wagons while Lan Wangji frowns beside him, his attention focused on the map in his hands. Wei Wuxian shakes his head.

“I thought it would be best if I let them work undisturbed,” he says. “I fear I would only hinder their task and delay their departure.”

“Would that not be a good thing?” Lan Xichen asks, a twinkle in his eye.

Wei Wuxian ducks his head, his cheeks heating.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Taizi-dianxia,” he says carefully.

Lan Xichen laughs softly, no more than a quiet exhale accompanied by the faintest of smiles and a shake of his head; he walks over to the edge of the parapet, his hands tucked behind his back as he surveys the preparations.

“Jing-junwang withdrew his petition for your hand this morning,” he says, voice deceptively light. When Wei Wuxian does not reply, he continues: “I must admit, Wei-gongzi, I was surprised to receive his petition in the first place.”

“Jing-junwang has shown me great favour,” Wei Wuxian replies without raising his head. “I am unworthy of his affections.”

“I’m sure that isn’t the case,” Lan Xichen tells him magnanimously. He turns away from the parapet finally and looks at Wei Wuxian with a critical eye. “Forgive me, Wei-gongzi, but I had always been under the impression you and Wangji…or was I mistaken?”

Wei Wuxian takes a step back and bows low at the waist.

“Taizi-dianxia,” he says. “Wei Wuxian asks for your forgiveness.”

Lan Xichen looks surprised. “Whatever for, Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian straights, but keeps his head bowed, his cheeks flushed. This far above the ground, the noise from the soldier’s preparations down below is little more than a constant buzz punctuated by the occasional horse’s whinny or the clash of metal, but it is familiar enough to soothe Wei Wuxian’s nerves as he formulates his reply to Lan Xichen with care.

“Wei Wuxian has been fortunate to receive Er-dianxia’s affections,” he says. “For that, I am eternally thankful.”

“But you do not share the sentiment?” Lan Xichen asks, keeping his voice level. Wei Wuxian shakes his head quickly to disabuse him of the notion.

“Please do not misunderstand, Taizi-dianxia,” he says. “I am unworthy of such high regard from Er-dianxia. But…I hope to be.”

The last words are spoken softly, hesitantly, and he dares not raise his eyes from where they are fixed on the ground at Lan Xichen’s feet. He has not had many personal dealings with the Crown Prince during his time in Gusu; the Crown Prince no longer lives within the Palace now that he is of age and married, and Wei Wuxian had been preoccupied with lessons,but he knows enough—not just from Lan Wangji’s deep-seated respect and love for his brother, but also what he overhears from ministers and servants alike—to know that he is just and fair, and unfailingly kind. Such men are rare, and he would very much prefer to win his favour than cause offence. Gusu is a powerful ally, after all, and he is here to strengthen that alliance.

There is also the fact that he is Lan Wangji’s brother. If nothing else, Wei Wuxian would like to win his approval for Lan Wangji’s sake.

“Wei-gongzi,” Lan Xichen says now. “Please raise your head.”

His eyes—a darker shade of hazel than Lan Wangji’s, more of a light brown than a honey-gold—are kind when Wei Wuxian lifts his head to meet his gaze. A small, knowing smile plays at the corner of his lips.

“I am glad to hear that, Wei-gongzi,” he tells him. “Although it is customary for men of power to take multiple concubines—especially those of us in the Imperial Family, in order to secure the lineage—neither my brother nor myself, or even our Fuhuang, is very much inclined towards the practice.”

He takes a step towards Wei Wuxian, the light in his eyes turning serious, more meaningful. In that moment, Wei Wuxian glimpses the statesman, the future Emperor, behind the brother: the self-assurance, the confidence, and the commanding presence in the set of his shoulders, the tilt of his chin, and the sharpness of his gaze.

“Wei-gongzi, you’ll find my brother can be quite single-minded in his devotion,” he says seriously. “Once he has set his heart and his mind on something—or someone—it is there to stay, for better or for worse. There will be troubling times ahead for all of us and the future is uncertain, but I sincerely hope my brother’s affections are not misplaced.”

Do not break my brother’s heart.

As if Wei Wuxian would even entertain the idea.

“Taizi-dianxia, please be assured,” he says, sinking into a formal bow as expected of a courtier to his future Emperor. “I would sooner cut off my own head than betray Er-dianxia and your faith in me.”

This seems to mollify Lan Xichen’s concerns; the severity of his expression clears into something lighter, friendlier, and the smile returns to his lips. He nods his head slowly and motions for Wei Wuxian to rise.

“I am glad, Wei-gongzi,” he says, and turns back to the view over the parapet. “And I am sure Wangji will also be thrilled to hear it. Have you spoken to him?”

“Ah…we’ve come to an understanding of sorts, Taizi-dianxia,” Wei Wuxian replies, scratching the bridge of his nose with an awkward chuckle. “With the current state of affairs, we agreed it would be best to wait until after everything has settled before we make anything official. We both have our duties, and they must come first. But afterwards…” he trails off with a wistful sigh. “I guess we’ll see.”

Lan Xichen hums thoughtfully.

“And you will be returning to Yunmeng in Wangji’s absence.”

“Yes, Taizi-dianxia,” Wei Wuxian replies with a short bow. “I will be leaving later today, once the troops have departed and I have settled my affairs here.”

“Very well then.” Lan Xichen walks towards him in measured steps until they are shoulder-to-shoulder. “Safe travels, Wei-gongzi. I look forward to seeing more of you after the war.”

He leaves as Wei Wuxian turns and bows low in farewell. When he is alone again, he leans over the parapets, his folded arms resting on the stone walls. Down below, Lan Wangji looks up amid the crowd of people surrounding him and catches his eye; Wei Wuxian smiles and waves.

Yunping attacked. Heavy casualties. Return immediately.

Lan Wangji gives him the slightest of nods in return, but there is a hint of a smile tugging at his mouth, and turns back to his work. Wei Wuxian allows his smile to fade.

Everything will be alright, he thinks, echoing Lan Wangji’s words from last night as his heart sinks. The war will be over soon.

--

Notes:

Fuhuang (父皇) - Imperial Father, used by children of the Emperor when talking to/referring to their father.

--

ANNOUNCEMENT

Due to Tumblr messing with the way things show up in tags, there are some changes I’ll be making in hopes of circumventing those issues until I work out how best to do this.

Tracked tag: originally was “shattered mirrors au”, now I’ll also be tagging posts with:

shattered mirrors fic - for fic updates

shattered mirrors verse - for non-update, verse-related posts

The existing tag will still be used just in case, but from what I can see nothing is showing up in it regardless of whether or not I’ve removed the links, so I’m being extra cautious.

Master Post is available on the sidebar of my blog. 

You can also copy the following and append it to the end of my tumblr homepage: shattered-mirrors-master-post

Ko-Fi link is available on the sidebar of my blog.

If you want to look me up directly, my username is besanii

This information is also pinned at the top of my blog for reference.

[robin-in-a-hoodie]

Hi your dumbass apperantly didn't close the asks I can't find where you do it

Anyway dude if you think i know how the fuck you block an ip i don't think you understand not everyone understands computer shit I'm just here to see some memes man you could just understand that I'm not into getting asks and move on

Like yeah when I'm bombarded with multiple asks that i have to interact with (deleting is interacting, i still have to read them to see if they're bullshit or not) I'm going to get to the "ripping my soul out", i have enough criticism of my own about tbs, the ripping my soul out was about the harassment that people feel is alright to throw at me for no reason because i ??? What, rebloged something without adding to it that i don't like some takes i saw in the tag, geez

Getting those half a snippet of a point that i need to go into fucking media analyst mode to answer in a language i find difficult to speak on a subject i stated many times i don't feel comfortable speaking on is annoying and I'm dramatic, fuck off, i don't know how ro express myself in words when it comes to media analysis and i don't have to, i vent about the shit that bothers me in private where i feel comfortable doing so

Also maybe just don't dm people who said they don't want you to dm them idk my man weather i block your ip or not you should still respect the fact I'd like to not be dragged into this

Every single time i get these asks i get anxious about being the one getting them, because yeah, if you throw shit unfounded claims about media i love i don't want that to go uncorrected, but i get anxious trying to explain myself in a way that doesn't make me sound stupid, because English is difficult, and because i haven't heard the show in a while, and because i don't know how to write a fifteen page assey about why Oliver is nicer than Damian on command, so it leads me to being unable to go either way because if i don't respond then I'm letting people down and letting you "win" and if i do respond then i make a fool of myself because translating my thoughts into actual text is difficult and i hate doing it publicly, that's why i only reblog shit and rarely make original posts, i hate putting myself on the stage in this way even if i do have shit that i want to say. I feel like i did not need to explain any of this. I feel like i shouldn't have woken up to multiple asks challenging me and daring me to reply to them and engage in a conversation i never wanted to engage in. I just want to get on this website, enjoy a few shit posts, maybe boost a friend's post and vibe. I feel put on the spot when I'm personally chosen for these asks, and it's not the first or second time this bs happened, and that feeling that out of everyone i was chosen for this makes my anxiety fucking spiral. It makes me want to never open my mouth again and never speak again so no one can ever notice me again. I try so hard to force myself to be out there because i want friends and mutuals and this is genuinely harassment because i said. Multiple times in the past. That this is not something i want to engage in. That i don't know how to turn these things off. I legit just use my phone for like. Memes and YouTube. I genuinely don't know how to do this stuff and i don't want to learn how to do these fucking complicated things because I've already tried and these asks keep coming still even though i tried blocking it the way i found and it just doesn't work or if it does work then there's multiple people doing this shit when i!!! Clearly!!! Asked!!!! You!!!!! Not!!!! To!!!!!!!

Just. If someone tells you "hi, what you're doing is upsetting, please stop"

Then you can stop

Like idk that sounds like. Something you can do. Ugh. I feel stupid. And tbh i am but like. I hate when it comes to my attention. It's midnight and i just feel like the dumbest person on planet earth and i hate it. I don't understand why out of all the people in the world you chose to talk to me. I didn't want you to. It's distressing that you did and i told you it's distressing and you keep doing it and i don't understand why. You are hurting me. Fuck you. I don't care about this stupid show anymore. Go hate Oliver and think tama is prison apologizism go do that away from me i don't care what do you want from me. What. You want me to agree? Fine i agree now leave me alone for the millionth time you absolute jerk

[amoosewritesfanfic]

Jealousy

(Part 2)

[Part 1 / Part 2]

[+18]

[Enji Todoroki x Fem!Reader + Keigo Takami]

[Warnings: humiliation, light bondage, gag, blindfold, overstimulation, sensory deprivation, Enji lowkey being yandere at the end]

[Requested by: @madamcashe ]

[Tags: @daedaep69 ]

[I don't own any of the characters or art posted, all credit goes to original creators, I do however own the story and I did make the edit :3]

-

"So Endeavor what was it that you wanted me to see exactly? Not that I'm complaining." Keigo asked as he was led down the hallway towards his bedroom, Enji had managed to get Fuyumi and Natsuo to go spend time with their friends, Shouto apparently said he wouldn't be home for the weekend. "Just relax Hawks, it's nothing too crazy." Enji told the blonde haired man as they finally got to his room.

"Close your eyes." He told the birdman and Keigo did, closing his eyes as he felt Enji pulling him into the room. With a firm pat on his back and Enji telling him to open his eyes he was utterly shocked, there you stood, your arms tied to your back, body being kept up by a roped which hung from the ceiling and your legs spread, Keigo took in the sight, the way the drool fell from your gagged lips and the way your body was twitching, then he heard it. He heard the low vibrations coming from between your legs, there was no way in hell he couldn't get hard at the sight of you in front of him bent over and whining.

"What's happening here Endeavor-san?" The way Keigo asked was in a way that made it seem like he didn't just fuck you the other day, which pissed off Enji but the burly male didn't react he just walked over to you pulling Keigo with him who had no choice to follow along. "I'm showing my cute little slut what happens when she disobeys me." When he spoke his fingers trailed along your spine making your back arch slightly, a muffled whimper escaping your gagged mouth. "And am I that punishment? I don't think-..." "Oh trust me Hawks you'll definitely love this punishment, because you get to fuck her. You get to fuck her as much as you want until you're satisfied, because let's face it you like fucking things that don't belong to you." His voice was cold as he stepped away moving to the corner of the room where a single leather couch sat, next to it a small table with a glass of whiskey sat.

Keigo stared at your body for a moment before glancing over at Enji who had a neutral expression. "C'mon get fuckin' this is a once in a life time opportunity, to fuck such a pretty little cunt." He said, you could barely even focus on the words, because the vibrator randomly went on and off so you were having multiple denied orgasms, but the number two hero removed the vibrator, using his fingers to lap up your slick in his fingers. Keigo huffed and unzipped his pants pulling out his hardened cock rubbing it against your folds which earned a desperate gasp from you, your hips pushing back into his touch, it didn't take much time for him to bury himself in those velvety walls, his cock hitting all your sweet spots making you moan out in delight against the gag.

"Does it feel good Y/N?" Enji asked and you were afraid to answer if you said no you would probably hurt Keigo's ego, but if you said yes Enji would be even more pissed off. You knew he was pissed, but you didn't know why or what you did to have Enji's wrath on you. Was this out of jealousy?

"C'mon princess, answer me~" at this point Keigo's hips had started moving, he was moving at a somewhat slow pace, but his thrusts were harsh hitting all your sweet spots just like Enji would. You gave him a slow nod. "Oh? Do you prefer his cock or mine? Oh wait, let's take out that silly little gag so I can hear you say it." You heard shifting before you felt Enji's large hand hold your face as he removed the gag, your moans were a bit more audible now too.

"Well princess? Answer nice and loud for us to both hear~" he coaxed running his thumb along your saliva coated lips, Keigo's hips smacking harshly into yours making you moan out in delight, your back arching slightly. "Y-yours...~♡" you moaned out. "Mine? Even though it's not my cock buried inside that pretty little cunt?" He sounded surprised as his hand pushed up the blindfold now, allowing you to look up into those beautiful cerulean hues, yours were glazed over tears threatening to spill out.

Dear gods you looked so fucking innocent like that it made Enji's cock throb in his pants.

"How mean Y/N~ here I am doing my best~" Keigo teased, his hands gripped your hips rather harshly as his speed now picked up. "Jealous Hawks?" Enji laughed as thumb stroked your cheek, you were losing your mind your entire body was trembling, you could feel your pussy tightening around Keigo's cock. "Nah... fuck... not when she's about to cum on my cock~" he teased Enji who watched your expression carefully, he watched the way your eyes rolled back and your tongue lulled out as you came, your hips bucking slightly.

"Don't relax yet little bird~ I'm not done yet~" Keigo teased now, his hips hadn't stopped moving, he was still slamming into your sensitive pussy, prolonging your orgasm. Then you felt it again, your pussy tightening around his cock which had him groaning. Your body was shaking now, you had cum again. "Twice in a row...~ fuck Endeavor, this pretty little bird is doing such a good job at taking my cock she even came twice." He cooed happily. Every inch of your body felt so sensitive it didn't help now that your mouth was forced open, tongue hanging from your lips as you felt that big meaty cock touch your tongue.

Enji's familiar scent filling your nose, he didn't waste any time as his cock filled your mouth, stretching your jaw out. Your jaw was always sore after you sucked off the red haired male. Enji anything but gentle, tear filled eyes now looking up at his expression, his jaw was clenched, his eyes glazed over with lust, but you could tell he was pissed off and he made that apparent with how he shoved himself down your throat causing you to gag, with wide tear filled eyes you looked up at the male, pubes tickling your nose and his balls touching your chin, saliva spilling from the corners of your mouth.

Enji said nothing, one hand held onto your chin keeping your face in place as the other threaded through your hair softly before getting a good grip on it, his hips started moving now, matching the pace of Keigo's thrusts. Your moans coming out muffled or replaced by gags, skin slapping against skin, heavy breathing and praise about how good you were taking Keigo's cock filled the room. If anyone walked in they'd see what a mess you were, your own juices flowing down your thighs, hair matted to your skin, strings of saliva connecting from your chin to Enji's balls as he violated your throat and tears streaming down your face.

"There's a good... slut. You're taking our cocks so well~" Enji cooed, everything was blurry from the tears but you knew he had a smirk on his face. "Fuck... I'm almost..." Keigo breathed out, their thrusts increased in pace, becoming harsher and harsher, until they buried themselves inside you, Enji's cock buried all the way down your throat and Keigo's cock buried all the way inside your pussy, tip kissing your cervix. Groans fell from their lips as they unloaded themselves inside you, their seeds sending a warmth throughout your body which had your eyes rolling to the back of your head. When Enji was done he pulled back, letting you breath as you coughed for air, some of his cum dripping down your chin. Keigo on the other hand had pulled out of you, hand spreading your asscheek and pussy folds watching his white load drip from your hole.

"What do you say princess?" Enji said as he ran a thumb along your bottom lip which had you whimper and tremble. "T-thank... you..." you breathed out. Enji at this point got level with your face so he could whisper in your ear.

"This is the last time you'll ever fuck other than me princess, that pussy belongs to me and no one else... if I see you spreading your legs for him... or anyone else I'm gonna fuck you in front of an entire room... everyone will know that this pretty cunt belongs to me~" Enji's voice was so demanding and you knew that he wasn't joking, after all he was never the joking type.

"You can go now Hawks, your duty is done." Enji straightened himself up as his thumb stroked your cheek softly. "Ncaw, here I thought you'd let me enjoy her some more~" "No, I had no intention of letting you enjoy her more, if you touch her again though, I'll burn your wings so you can't fly again." Keigo gave a whistle. "I'll be sure not to touch her then." The blonde haired man said as he fixed up his appearance before opening the window. "By little birdie~ don't piss off flame daddy anymore babe~" Keigo teased giving Enji a wink before leaving through the window flying out.

"Now..." Enji burnt the ropes holding you up, his free hand catching you before he picked you up and tossed you onto the bed, making you wince. "You look like a deer caught in headlights, don't worry, I'm thinking of treating you." He started as his hands trailed along your thighs, spreading your legs exposing your abused cunt. "I'm gonna fuck you until all you can think about is my cock princess~" he said with a hum as he trailed his fingers along your cheek before slipping his fingers in your mouth making you suck on his large digits.

"Now... let's get started shall we?"

-

-

[Haha I finished it, tbh Y/N got fucked so hard she literally passed out, Enji fucks her almost everyday, like when they're busy with paper work, in their free time and he may or may not have her on her knees under his desk sucking his dick while he's being briefed about some hero stuff. She can only now be satisfied by flame daddy lmao]

[officialthiamlibrary]

Hey! Do you know of any where one or both of them play a professional sport?

So sorry for the delay, but we are ready with our finds! These are what we could find, but if we are missing any then please let us know and we will add them to our list! 

All the Quads Are My Friends by never_love_a_wild_thing (Teen | Complete | 10K)

Tags: AU - Ice Skating, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Idiots in love, Social Media

Summary: Liam and Theo go to Figure Skating Worlds in Milan, ready to prove themselves to the skating world and end up falling in love along the way.

A Peek Inside: “Theo!” Liam shouted, “You can’t just post pictures of me when I’m sleeping!”

“Aw, but you were so cute, though!” Theo smirked at him. Liam decidedly did not blush. “I don’t think you can even see the drool in that picture.”

Liam gaped at him, trying to figure out how to express his unbridled fury without actually killing anyone. “I do. Not. Drool.” He gritted out.

Breaking The Ice by Bookwyrm (Teen | Complete | 8.8K)

Tags: AU Hockey, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Coming Out

Summary: Theo and Liam used to play for rival hockey teams. Things got explosive everytime they shared the ice, but now they've both been traded to the Beacon Hills Wolves.

A Peek Inside: Theo sat on the ice, and gently pulled out the tissues. When no blood flowed he asked, "What the hell is your problem? Are you just the human version of an overly aggressive chihuahua or is it personal?"

Liam gritted his teeth. "My problem is you are the worst kind of hockey player. You don't care about the rules of the game or who gets hurt, unless of course you hurt them on purpose."

Rings Of Fire by LI0NH34RT (Teen | Complete | 3.1K)

Tags: Figure Skating AU, Ice Skating AU, Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Summary: Figure Skater Liam dreamed of being at the Olympics his whole life but when his partner Hayden breaks her ankle at a practice jump too risky, his dream seems over and done. 

Theo is a single skater because his attitude makes him incompatible with a partner but that doesn't stop their coach to pair them off in training – Will the flame of their hate burn them out or light up a different fire?

A Peek Inside: “I absolutely do remember that day. Actually that... unfortunate incident made me aware of the sparks the dynamic between you two has.”

“Sparks? More like fire hazard...”, Theo mumbles to himself.

It is true. Every time Liam Dunbar and Theo are in the same room, they fight. It's lucky they didn't share any ice time yet and that has mostly been due to the fact that single skater and pair skaters trained separately on a team as big as team USA.

Going For Gold by AJP_37 (Explicit | WIP | 15K)

Tags: AU Olympics, AU Swimming

Summary: Scott had just up and quit from the Olympic Swim team. 

And someway, somehow Coach thought it was acceptable to bring in Theo to take his place. 

Liam was not impressed. 

Until he was.

A Peek Inside: “But I want Scott back, I don’t want to swim with this guy.”

“Theo. His name is Theo.” Coach rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Liam when you give him the chance I’m sure he is going to be right up your alley.”

“Coach, he’s been in like three different scandals since the qualifiers.” Liam huffed, slumping down into the chair. “There was a reason why the selectors left him in college. He’s not ready for the big stage.” 

“And funnily enough that is what every single member of the team and coaching staff said about you.” Coach snapped back, leaning forward on his chair.

finding love on the offroad tracks by xTarmanderx (General | WIP | 10K)

Tags: Slow burn, Motocrossed au

Summary: When Theo Raeken is injured before a major motocross competition, his twin Tara decides to step up to the plate. While their father is overseas looking for a new rider to take over for the event, Tara begs their mother to keep it from him and let her try and race in Theo’s place. Disguising herself as Theo, she takes up the racing circuit to keep the family name attached to the event. Enter Liam Dunbar, a professional biker from a different circuit that immediately can tell Tara isn’t who she claims to be. Theo pleads with Liam to keep their secret and he agrees: on one condition.

A Peek Inside: Despite the recently added dips and new curve to the track, Theo took each challenge effortlessly and sped past his father for a second lap. This time, he risked a glance at the man and saw him shake his head, scribbling frantically down onto his clipboard. His teeth ground together and he hit the curve hard, losing momentum as he sought to right his bike. His grip grew tight, lips pinched as he committed his focus back to the track. His father may be hard on him, but he was nowhere near as unforgiving as the dirt.

Melting the Ice by ExtraSteps (Mature | Complete | 29K)

Tags: Hockey au, Scott is a prick

Summary: Liam's entire world is shaken up when Scott McCall, the captain of the Los Angeles Rams and Liam's mentor at the club, unexpectedly asks to be traded to the Dallas Stars. As Liam struggles to deal with this in both his personal and professional life, his teammate and friend, Theo Raeken, is there to help him in any way he can.

A Peek Inside: He already feels a bit better. As much as they’ve had their differences in the past, he knows that Theo would bleed for him, has in fact done so on multiple occasions, putting himself on the line to protect Liam. If anyone can make Liam feel anchored, its him.

Don’t Forget To Breathe by snaeken (Explicit | Complete | 28K)

Tags: Ice hockey, disabled character, depression, anxiety, mental health discussions, smut

Summary: Formerly a professional ice hockey player in the NHL, Theo suffered a career-ending injury on the ice which resulted in the loss of everything he held dear to him. No longer able to cope with his teammates pity, and the speculation from the media and the general public on how bad his injury really is, Theo runs away. He goes back to the hometown he left behind when he turned pro, hoping to find solace in a place which has previously caused him so much pain. After a chance encounter in a graveyard of all places, Beacon Hills local Liam Dunbar slots himself into Theo’s life, wanting to aid him in both his physical and mental recovery. Theo quickly discovers he’s not the only one who has demons, and when feelings become involved… well that’s just inevitable, isn’t it?

A Peek Inside: Even at this time of night, his phone is still blowing up on his night stand. Colleagues and fans and hecklers and press and god knows who else. He can’t bring himself to unlock it and turn off the notifications. Hopefully the battery will run dry soon. Even when he’s tried not to, he’s still seen snippets of the questions he’s getting.

[infinitetab]

Musings on BTS & Mixtapes

I remember briefly going through twt and seeing some fans fight about supporting/gushing about a single member’s mixtape vs all members getting a mixtape (some posts got ugly and I left to go peruse other tags, so if someone would like to expand on the discourse/I got it wrong, I’m all ears). And then I read romanticdrift’s post and wanted to expand on my personal thoughts about mixtapes being made by the members.

Mixtapes are a personal, intimate project that’s chosen as the form some BTS members (and other artists in general) express and sort out feelings, emotions, and memories.

(To be honest, before BTS I thought of mixtapes as a “CD/tape that someone puts together (sometimes for themselves, sometimes for others) to convey a single emotion or feeling”. While we’re on the topic, if you want a vmin fanfic rec, please read nonheather’s mudlands & yellow acacia -- the imagery is so very pretty and soft, the plot heartwarming and introspective)

Mixtapes (specifically for BTS) are absolutely a personal project. The members are already working around the clock and have an insane schedule -- to go out of your way and make time to work on something? And it being multiple “something”s (songs) that you’re working on spanning months, maybe even years? The motivation and sheer want to put it all down is awe-inspiring in itself. And no member (or artist) should be shamed when they express their wanting to craft one/wanting to release one, and the widespread recognition after the release is deserving.

What is incredibly personal about mixtapes is the content they hold. The songs within are the result of the artist trying to put into words and beats these emotions and feelings they have. Memories they want to make permanent, strings of thoughts being turned into carefully picked out words. You’re throwing your heart out there and then using your mind to choose how to best express the intangible feelings you have. And then for the members to actually willingly share it with us, to let us listen and be privy to a glimpse of what they’re thinking and feeling? I tear up sometimes.

Also another thing -- mixtapes take a lot of effort and work. Writing/producing/composing a song from an idea you have? One of those things alone can take months. And then doing not just 1 but all? For a plethora of songs you’re putting on a mixtape? AND doing it around a busy schedule that you have to find personal time to work on it? ...sometimes (all the times) I’m blown away by it all. Again, it’s a personal project -- I’m sure they get burned out. Maybe some days they don’t even want to think about it. It doesn’t mean they aren’t serious about it anymore -- they just need to take some time away from something that was supposed to be cathartic before they start hating it or it causing them stress when it was supposed to be the opposite.

Which is why I’m personally fine whenever these mixtapes come out. Again, the members are choosing to share them with us -- it’s cruel to start badgering them about, “when is ___ going to come out??” because not only are they not obligated to make and then share them with us, but also because it’s piling more stress on them. It’s different from a studio album -- this is their inner thoughts going out for the world to see and judge (the latter unwarranted because who are you to judge something so personal)(I have feelings about how things like art and songs are graded and judged but that’s a different rant).

(Also, keep in mind the confirmation that BE had at least 2 songs on there that were originally supposed to be on their personal mixtapes (JK-Stay, TH-Blue&Grey). Also that “Your Eyes Tell” was also supposed to be on JK’s mixtape. There are holes now that maybe they have to re-think. Personally if I was JK I’d space out and wonder, “Hum...do I need to make something else now?”)

But, and here’s the thing, mixtapes are only one form, one outlet for the personal things the members are going through.

Out of the group, NJ and YG are the two members to have released more than one mixtape (and if someone would like to gush with me just the evolution? or difference/similarities from RM-->Mono and Agust D-->D-2? Please, I have so many feelings), so I think it’s safe to say that song-writing/producing/composing is a method they find helps them the most in working out their inner thoughts (they’re also the ones who’ve expressed and pursued this the longest).

But that’s only one way to work it out. Maybe people work out their thoughts by having a private conversation with a close friend/confidant. Maybe people work it out by writing in a journal, a blog. Maybe people work it out by researching and trying to find answers, meeting similar-minded people along the way. Maybe they pour it out into their responsibilities at the time, having it be fuel but also sit on the back burner. The point is that there are multiple ways one works out their thoughts, and some (if not most) are very private methods that don’t go beyond people they trust. That should be respected.

That isn’t to say the method one chooses to express themselves can’t change.

I’d argue that out of the members, SJ, HS, and JM are the most private. All the members are private and have personal moments they don’t share (which is okay and valid and they owe us nothing), but the three above are very close-lipped to us as fans (I personally think they have “professional/work/what I show to the public” vs “casual/off-camera/what I show to close friends and family” distinctions very clear in their minds compared to the others). Their method of sorting through things probably reflects this.

We are seeing them try out other methods though to sort things out, specifically song-writing (the last months of 2020 alone with “Abyss” and “Christmas Love”). Maybe they’ll find this a cathartic method and will pursue again. Maybe they saw it as helpful to work out something specific but don’t see them doing it again. Either way, I think we should be happy that they’ve found ways that helped them get their thoughts out instead of bottling them inside.

This probably got convoluted and scatter-brained along the way and I don’t know if I got everything I wanted to say out, but basically: people have different ways they sort out their inner thinking. If BTS members choose to do this via mixtape, that’s okay. If BTS members choose to do this another way, that’s okay too. 

Would I be happy and excited that HS drops another solo mixtape or that SJ and JM choose to release one? Absolutely. Oh man, what if I was able to have “Tonight” and “Abyss” on spotify I think I’d cry. Would I be fine if they didn’t release any mixtapes in the near future? Of course. Do I think we need to tone down our happiness for TH and JK’s mixtapes? Absolutely not (though we have to be careful about being happy for them vs causing pressure and stress). Will I support whatever the members choose to share with us? Undoubtedly and with my whole heart.

[icedteaandoldlace]

So there’s this “101 Reasons to Ship Snowbarry” video that keeps coming up on my YouTube suggestions. Idgaf about Snowbarry, and I’ve already hit the “not interested” button on similar videos before, but since I can’t seem to get away from video suggestions like this, I’m just gonna watch it and liveblog it, and bet that for every entry on the list, I can come up with a corresponding rebuttal for why Barrisco would make an even better couple. (I’m not gonna comment this ON the video ofc, this is just for my own amusement.)

Click the link above if you want to see the stuff I’ll be responding to, but be forewarned, that video is like, way long, so naturally it follows that this post is gonna be, too.

Additional note: If you are a Snowbarry shipper who has stumbled across this post somehow, now would be the time to stop reading, and also to add the “anti Snowbarry” tag to your filters if you wish to avoid running into posts like this in the future, ‘cause I ain’t interested in engaging in shipping wars.

Anyways, let’s go:

1. "How they met." Cisco woke Barry out of a coma by playing/singing a song about bisexuality, 'nuff said. (Also, part of the purpose of that scene was to introduce Caitlin as the serious, “down to business” one, and Cisco as the warmer, more easygoing one who’s trying to make Barry feel more comfortable.)

2. "They're both scientists." What is Cisco, an Instagram influencer?

3. If Caitlin being Barry’s personal doctor gets her romantic points, then the same should go for Cisco being his personal tailor. Actually, he should get more points, because there’s no moratorium on romantic relationships between tailors and their clients.

4. The way Barry and Cisco gaze into each other's eyes for non-medical purposes. This is too easy.

5. Uh. Cisco being the voice in Barry's ear while he's running, and often the first person he calls out to for help solving a problem.

6. They frequently take hold of each other's hands and shoulders.

7. Cisco comforts Barry while Caitlin tends to his wounds.

8 through 12 is literally just stuff about Caitlin being a doctor, and I don't find this stuff relevant enough to rebut because there's nothing inherently romantic about any of it.

13. "They both have fun together." Yes, Cisco also, the fun having, it happens, lots. Even more, actually.

14. Not really sure what to say for this one. Barry and Cisco noticing when each other is sad and then checking on each other (at Cecile’s baby shower and Barry’s bachelor party, respectively, and also on other occasions), comes to mind. That doesn’t have to do with noticing each other’s lips, per se, but I’ve never thought of either of these SB scenes as moments where Barry was staring at Caitlin’s lips, just as moments where he’s noticing her expression/overall mood, which is something he does with Cisco (and vice versa), too.

15. They all have nerdy hobbies, dude, they're nerds.

16. This one for SB is "she makes Barry drunk on purpose", which, y'know, she did because he wanted to be able to get buzzed, which Cisco has succeeded in helping him do, too (and the drink he made was more effective and longer lasting), but the way this is phrased is kind of suggestive, like Caitlin was doing it to lower his inhibitions (which she totally wasn’t), and uuuuhhhh, don't romanticize that maybe???

17. Cisco put all that tech into Barry's suit, including delivery menus from his favorite restaurants + wrote him an instruction manual, and sped up all his favorite shows so he could catch up on what he missed while he was in the speed force.

18. Barry makes Cisco's (and everyone's) hair fly everywhere when he speeds out of a room, too. Like, this is just basic physics, fam, wyd?

19. Barry also uses his powers to help Cisco. And...literally everyone who needs his help, this is basic superhero stuff, wyd?

20. He is impressed with Cisco, frequently.

21. Just having nicknames? He calls him "bud", "dude", etc., and one time he called him "Cis". (Bonus: Iris and Cisco have called Caitlin "Cait", too, so it’s not just a Ronnie and Barry thing.)

22. Cisco can make anything to help Barry. They're literally top-notch genius scientists, I don't even

23. Obviously they think each other makes great company, they're best friends. All of them.

24. They comfort each other. Again, best friends + Team Flash pep talks are a major staple of the show.

25. He needs Cisco, too.

26. They...they care about...my god, it's like you people have never heard of FRIENDS.

27. Honestly, how many times have we heard Barry tell Cisco he believes in him, or heard Cisco gush about what a great hero Barry is?

28. Helping each other conquer their fears. Yep, that's another one that applies to like, everyone on this show.

29. "They both have experienced loss" IT'S A SUPERHERO SHOW! Also, that's just life. Name one main character on this show who hasn't experienced loss. Nash and Wally have both experienced loss, and I have yet to see anyone ship them.

30. "They both can sing really well." Okay now. This one is true for Barry and Cisco, but uh...Caitlin is literally tone deaf. I'm not being mean, Danielle Panabaker knows good and well that she can't sing, and she has talked about Carlos side-eyeing her when she gets going because she's not good at it. THAT'S OKAY! There's nothing wrong with not being able to sing, but--WHY would you claim that she's good at something that she clearly is not? She wasn't on pitch for a single line of Summer Nights, and she straight up changes keys mid-line in the mockingbird song in that other clip, and just...what even is this entry?!

31. Watching over each other, yeah, another basic staple of being friends and superheroes.

32. "He is always standing behind Caitlin" AND LOOK WHO'S STANDING BESIDE HIM!

33. Remember that time fake Jay "died" and Cisco stayed with Caitlin until she fell asleep? Remember when Dante died and Caitlin slept on Cisco's couch to keep him company? Remember all those times Barry or Cisco were rendered unconscious, and the other stayed by their bedside until they woke up?

34. Basically just a continuation of 33. See above.

35. "Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always'." Hmm, what WOULD Barry and Cisco's "always/okay" be? Probably just calling out each other's names tbh, they do that a lot. Or perhaps, "For real?"

36. Is2g. Being only one call or text away is, again, a staple of the show, considering everyone in it is a close-knit found family and knows there's a very good chance that that call or text might be saying, "I'm in mortal danger, please come save my life at once."

37. Funny, I already pointed out once before (in a different post) the fun parallel of how Caitlin will sometimes go running to whoever her love interest is at the moment, or she'll call out his name, while Cisco is at the same moment running to Barry/calling out for Barry.

Side note: did they really think including Barry's proposal song to Iris would give more weight to their why-to-ship-Snowbarry argument?

38. I mean...Barry kind of carries everyone everywhere. You don't really get to see it, but how the heck else do you explain all the times he whooshes people in and out of places? He can't just drag them, otherwise the soles of their shoes would either wear down fast or catch on fire.

39. Okay, no shade to Barry and Caitlin's friendship, and some of these moments are really great, but generally speaking, their hugs do not compare to the ones that either of them has with Cisco. Also, note the group hug scene, conveniently cut off before Cisco joins in, because unlike the Romione + Harry hug in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, there's no way to interpret it as a third wheel/cockblocking moment, because the moment Cisco declares it a group hug moment, Barry and Caitlin both agree, and you can see it on their faces that they are delighted, and think that Cisco joining in their hug has just made it even BETTER.

40. Henry gladly accepts a hug from Caitlin, immediately after laughing at Cisco's awkward moment and giving him a fatherly reassuring pat on the shoulder. I think it's safe to say he approves of all of Team Flash.

41. Oh look, another thing Barry and Cisco and multiple other characters do.

Good god, I'm not even halfway through this yet. This is like that time I tried to climb Diamond Head.

42. Ah, superhero poses, yes. That thing that...superheroes...do. Like, all of the ones on this show. And in general.

43.  "They begin to resemble each other." They're just white, fam. OH MY GOD, I SOMETIMES TAKE MY SUNGLASSES OFF WITH ONE HAND, TOO! OT3 MUCH????? 😱 Lol what even??

44. How many times throughout this video am I gonna have to repeat that everyone on this show has these moments? Also, speaking in unison with someone because you had prior knowledge of what they were going to say due to yourself or someone else time traveling, is not the same as being in sync with them because you’re close. (He said “Weather Wizard” at the same time as Cisco, too.)

45. Idk what to even say to this one. Like, Iris is obviously the love of Barry's life, and Cisco is obviously his favorite best friend and the person he would be with if he didn’t have Iris.

46. *John Mulaney voice* AND THEN THEY DIDN'T! Seriously, though, both of the people they were trying to get over were perfect for them. I don't have a Barrisco specific rebuttal for this one though.

47. So by this video's logic, that one scene from 4x03 means that Barry, Harry, and Cisco should be a threesome, huh?

48. "I did it because it gave me an excuse to bring him back."

49. .................is this even an argument?

50. They're both good looking people, darling.

51. Wrong, sir. They fight like siblings. Trust me on this one, I have six of them.

52. Trauma response. I'm moving away from Barrisco arguments and just saying the first thing that pops into my head now. But seriously, this is a normal reaction to trauma/loss.

53. *Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I'm not even gonna say it this time, you already know.

54. Again, have you people ever had anyone in your life that you cared about, ever? I'm starting to get concerned, honestly. But for the sake of bringing Barrisco back into this, hey, remember that time Barry and Caitlin both got kidnapped on the same night and Cisco was completely beside himself?

55. This is getting out of hand.

56. Pretty sure dating Caitlin didn't even make the list for Barry's reasons to dislike Jay and Julian (also, he liked Ronnie, the guy she loved the most, so...)

57. Judging Barry for being a dumbass + helping an exposed girl out =/= jealousy. Granted, there was some jealousy in that last clip, but not because Iris got the man; it was because Barry was all set to live happily ever after while Caitlin was, y'know, struggling with powers she didn't want and another person living in her head that kept fighting her for control of her body.

58. Refer to season 1 episode 2, wherein Cisco is the person helping Barry from the beginning, and Caitlin asserts that she is on Joe's side when he tells Barry what a stupid and reckless idea trying to be a superhero is.

59 + 60. "Let's bring our boy home." / "Let's go get our girl." Do I need to cite either quote?

61. Again I ask, did a human make this list?

62. Don't make me tap the sign.

63. One word: Elseworlds.

64. If you'll scroll waaaaaaaaaaay up there, I already covered that Barry and Cisco hold hands A LOT.

65. Oooh, I made a meme about this one! Not after watching this video, I just see SBers say this all the time, and it drives me crazy.

I used this in my Snowbarry fandom drama presentation for my squad’s presentation party a while back.

Side note: ~INTERESTING~ how Caitlin being a doctor is ““romantic”” when she’s treating Barry but ““motherly”” when she’s treating Cisco. I can’t even.

66. ......I’m sorry, I’m just not seeing how the dramatic irony of them stating that Killer Frost will never be a problem on Earth-1 is pertinent to shipping them as a couple.

67. Hannibal Bates and Caitlin are perfect for each other? Weird take, but okay. Oh, and there Caitlin is trying to freeze Barry to death. Wasn’t there a point somewhere up there about her never wanting him to get hurt?

Side note: Hey, what’s the name of that guy who saved Barry in this scene?

68. Bruh, that’s just her dynamic with everyone that season.

69. Barry and Iris, Barry and Cisco, Cisco and Caitlin, Cisco and Harry, Caitlin and Killer Frost, Cisco and Killer Frost--just naming some duos that are more iconic than Barry and Caitlin. Again, no shade to their friendship--I really like them as friends!--but the shippers stay making it out to be more than it really is.

I also just have to point out that although Killer Frost was the one who willingly teamed up with Savitar/whom Savitar sought out first, when she comments on their team up and says it’s “Barry and Caitlin together again”, his response is to point out that she’s not Caitlin and he’s not Barry. In contrast, when he takes Cisco against his will and forces him to modify the speed force bazooka, he still refers to Cisco as his best friend.

70. Make up your mind, does Savitar count as Barry in this or not? Because he totally grabbed Caitlin by the throat once.

71. I don’t know how to break this to you, but not enjoying it when someone is in pain is just being normal. (Do I even need to point out Cisco’s empathetic cringing compared to Barry’s looks of mild discomfort, or...?)

At some point this went from being about Barrisco to being about Cisco being the favorite friend to both of them, idk.

72. He. Is. Literally. A. Superhero.

73. Man, what did I JUST say? Also, can we just acknowledge the build up to Crisis on Infinite Earths for a second, wherein Frost very quickly accepts that Barry is supposed to die in order to save everyone else, while Cisco has infinite crises of his own at the idea of having to accept Barry’s death--which, I might add, he never actually does? Neither does Iris, for that matter. They tried to accept it, and they thought they did, but they didn’t really.

74. Oh fuck it, just read 73 again.

75. Okay, what even is this one? Two scenes where they are not present for each other’s “deaths” and thus don’t react to them, meanwhile Cisco is devastated in both of them?

76. Same thing I’ve already said several times before.

77. How many times do I gotta point out that this is a superhero show?

78. Just really trying hard to find enough reasons to make this list 101, huh? (What is Firestorm, chopped liver?)

79. Because violence = chemistry apparently. Wasn’t there another entry about how they can never hurt each other or something?

80. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the vibrating hand that shredded Cisco’s heart before either of those scenes happened.

81. It’s like SBers think they’re the only two characters on the entire show.

82. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over all the other vibrating hands triggering Cisco at least once per season. But sure, Barry and Caitlin are the only two who know suffering.

83. Two words: Flashpoint. Dante. Also, not seeing how this one is romantic.

84. That’s just a Caitlin/Frost thing, fam, it only happened to Barry because he got whammied by Prism, who caused the same effect in everyone else he whammied. (Cisco’s eyes turned purple once when he got hypnotized.)

85. Please. I beg of you. Get friends. Interact with a human person.

Side note: “I trust you” was almost what I put for Barrisco’s “always/okay”.

86. “Don’t call me that. I don’t know you, string bean.” / “I don’t know who you think you are, but around here, people call me Mr. Ramon.” / “The name is Vibe.” (Again, romance where?)

87. Kinda like how Mirror Iris and Mirror Kamilla have slightly dressier tastes than Real Iris and Real Kamilla.

88. ....Anyways, Vibe........

89. The first time because Cisco saved him, the second time because she froze him just enough to fool Grodd, not enough to actually kill him. (Again I say, what is Firestorm?)

90. So romance. Very love. Much relationship.

91. ANYWAYS, CISCO. (And uh, hello, IRIS???? Joe? Harry?)

92. See 88.

93. This one might be a fun ship parallel if Caitlin had actually been involved in Barry’s brain zapping, but instead it’s just like, “here’s two random scenes that are kinda similar in completely insignificant ways”, like the evil clothes thing a few entries back.

94. Another entry that just demonstrates that their one-on-one moments together, while good, just don’t compare to either of their one-on-one moments with Cisco. I can’t be the only person who sees this.

95 + 96 + 97. I can’t muster up enough interest in any of these shows to watch them all the way through. Is this supposed to impress me?

98 + 99 + 100. The only point this proves is that they have multiple ship names. (I thought their evil ship name was Savifrost?)

101. Mm, sorry, sweetheart, Westallen, Barrisco, and Snowstorm all have them beat in this category.

This post really got away from me, at this point idk what I’m even doing, but I went on too long to stop now.

Oh, shit, there’s a bonus round.

Honestly, I fail to see how a lot of these supposedly “match”? But as for the ones that do, that’s just your basic TV aesthetics, I forget the official name for it. They’re matchy-matchy with Cisco in some of those shots, too, because TV matchy color psychology whatever. It’s a whole thing, every TV show and movie does it.

If anyone actually followed along this far, congratulations on your attention span, my brain could never. Idk how to end this post because it strayed so far from my original intent and basically just turned into a Snowbarry Fandom Doesn’t Make Sense Presentation 2.0

You know, I like to try not to generalize and stuff, and I’d like to think that maybe not all SBers are racist and that some people genuinely just like the ship because they think that makes sense or something, but then I look at their reasons for shipping it, and it’s just the dang blandest thing I ever did see, and they have to reach so far when they try to explain why they think they’re the best “couple” on the show and just??? I am the queen of shipping friends who never get together romantically, but Barry and Caitlin just don’t got it, son. Tbh part of the show’s appeal to me is the fact that there’s no threat of Caitlin ever getting with either of her male bffs in that way, because Cisco is like her brother, and getting with Barry just wouldn’t make sense. It just befuddles me to no end that they are such a wildly popular ship and not a rare pair, because the way their relationship is in canon is just exactly the way it should be.

That’s it, I guess. I’ve already invested this much time in this, so I might as well post it.

Also, please don’t anybody try to start anything in the comments section of this video, this fandom has enough drama as it is.

[pocketmouse18]

Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)

(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 2 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,577 if I did my math right!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.

I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.

Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.

Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.

19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?

I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.

I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3

[spnfanficpond]

April 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

**Also, due to the number of afas and multiple nominations, each person on this list will only be tagged once. Please be sure to read the entire post so you don’t miss multiple nominations/comments!**

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE APRIL’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Slow (oneshot) by @sunlightdances

Intimacy is sooooo sexy xox

Nominated by @manawhaat

Ritual (oneshot) by @winchester-fantasies

This fic is grounded, subtle, realistic, and has an incredible energy between Dean and the reader! There’s so many little things that play into the bigger picture to make this really flow and work seamlessly as a whole!

Temporary Scars (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Fucking hell. Dean x Donna x Benny is such a rare pair that it’s NOT something I knew I needed, but everything about this dynamic is fucking perfect. It’s a bit of an AU, but I still love the way each character was represented. What they all brought to the table and how they balanced each other out in exactly the ways they needed. There’s a dynamic here that I haven’t seen before, especially not with THESE characters, and they complement each other fucking GORGEOUSLY! 

Boyking fic (oneshot) by @whispersandwhiskerburn

This shit is fucking CRAFTY! There’s a lot of little things that carry through this and the way that ‘control’ is presented in each scene of this fic is very cool. 

Calm (series) by @winchesterswoonathon

Oof! This John series just totally fucks me up. It’s perfect in the way you swoon over him and yearn to see a side of him he so rarely shows others. Maggie definitely knows how to nail the pining for John angle! 

Dream Drabble (oneshot) by @theychosefamily

Sam’s comfort and sincerity in this kill me! It may have been inspired by a dream, but this tracks so well for each of them and could definitely be a scene plucked from the show! 

The Unexpected (oneshot) by @impalaimagining

Goddamn this is sexy as all hell! It’s intense and passionate and scary and dazzlingly wonderful! 

Nominated by @flamencodiva

Three’s A Crowd (series) by @1000roughdrafts

So I was browsing Kay’s Masterlist and came upon this very lovely Gem! I would love to see what happens next and I know Kay is extremely busy, but she is a talented writer and I wanted to put this lovely work out there. It is a wonderful concept and I can’t wait to see what happens!

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

A good way to rot your teeth with Dean fluff. This story pulls on your heartstrings and can be just what you need when you feel down.  

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This is an amazing AU Sam Fic! It is well written and traps you into the fantasy world from the very beginning. I can’t wait to see the roller coaster that is this story as it is beginning to unfold! 

Nominated by @deanwanddamons

The Sullivan Series (series) by @katehuntington​

I binge read this series and adore it. Zoe is such a badass and an awesome OFC.

It is so good it could easily be written as a series of SPN and I am really hoping it is continued as I can’t wait for the next series. Kate is such an awesome person, hugely supportive and a big influence on me as a writer. This series deserves so much more recognition.

Ride With Me (seires) by @katehuntington

This series is divine. I am so invested in this right now. The way Kate writes is a true inspiration to me and this AU is stunning. Her story telling and descriptions are totally immersive and I am so excited to see where she takes us on this journey.

He’s Not You (series) by @mummybear​

This series is awesome! It’s really building momentum and I’m loving where it’s going. Such a great idea for a story and can’t wait to see where Chelsea takes us!

The Man on the Side of the Road (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was beautiful. I was so invested in this and so sad when it came it an end. It was very cathartic for me to read as I related to the reader so much.

Shatter Me (series) by  @winchest09​

This series is incredible. Such a superb concept and I love the way it has been written. The feeling of isolation and Dean’s desperation to save her had me engrossed all the way through. A must read.

D.W. (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage​

I have recently ventured into dark fic and was recommended this.

Demon!Dean is just 🔥 and this fic is dark, sexy and very explicit. And holy shit I LOVED IT!

Nominated by @moosekateer13​

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage

What I really loved about it shows the love can change your whole perspective of the world when love is thrown into the mix.  

The Ones You Love (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It shows how far the Winchester's are willing go when it comes to their family.  

Cosa Nostra (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved how in the end love and their bond was stronger than an obstacles that were thrown in their way.

Paid In Full (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved it! It taught you look past what you see at first.   

Poor Little Rich Girl (series) by @winchesterprincessbride​

Love how it showed the money is isn't everything love is more important.  

Political Animals  (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Loved the sometimes it showed the its better to break away from people who are trying to control your life.  

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy​

Loved how it to taught you to look past first impressions and that there is always more than meets the eye.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Control and Release - 30 (series) by @thecleverdame​

I think I might’ve nominated this series before, when I wasn’t caught up yet, but I am now and I just have to recommend this chapter. The entire story is gold but this chapter in particular had me sucked right into the scene at the end. The intensity of the fight and the way they deal with everything that is going on; the emotions, the worlds outside of their little bubble of safety. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for whoever hasn’t read this series yet. But, if you are one of those people, I highly recommend you change that ASAP.

The Secrets We Keep (series) by @princessmisery666​

Better late than never, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to ease the guilt I’m feeling for how long it took me to finally read this series like I said I would. I didn’t enjoy it any less, that’s for sure. And that was even before I got to the twist that made it even better. I loved the vulnerability between Sam and Erin, and the different kind of friendship she had with Dean.

Cabin Fever (long oneshot) by @slytherkins​

I’ve already attempted (and failed) to express my thoughts on this story to the author privately, so I won’t try again here, in risk of my heart shattering all over again. But what I definitely will say (and I will break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment to scream it from their balcony if I have to) is this: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and go read this fic if you haven’t already. It’s a heavy read, yes. But it is more than worth it, I promise you.

Equanimous (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill​

I love the tension in this scene. The boys are so in character and I could picture the demons perfectly. And, of course, Cas storming in, being badass, and saving the day, that’s always a plus.

Non-existent (oneshot) by @waywardjoy​

I’m definitely a sucker for a good crack-fic. To be honest, when I read the summary I was already sold. That signature bickering between the boys never gets old, does it?

Nominated by @impalaimagining

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Physically speaking, on the list of things I love about Dean Winchester, this checks almost every single box. I love the little things you’re noticing about Dean as the reader - his freckles, the contrast between his skin and the black shirt he’s wearing, exactly which Zeppelin song he’s singing while he works. The teasing is a nice touch too, especially the line about the night before. Proud Dean is so cute, and it’s exactly how I would expect him to react to being the hero around the house.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Almost Paradise (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches​ 

Amanda always always writes the fluff so well, but this little bit of bittersweet longing is delicious. Also, she nails Dean EVERY TIME. One of those writers who just gets Dean’s voice down so perfectly. Very Very well done!

Enough Time (oneshot)  by @dissect-me​ 

I was just scrolling the pond list and found this wonderful Destiel fic. I mean… the emotions were intense and I was a mess by the end. Just lovely and so well done. I will be diving back through their masterlist for more Destiel!!

  Nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Life For Rent (series) by @winchest09

@katehuntington told me to go read this so I did and I do not regret it. An amazingly sexy (and at times, heartbreaking) series, not for the faint of heart. Totally waiting on edge for the next chapter.

Call Of The Ocean (series) by @flamencodiva and @anatheweirdo​

I’m fairly certain I’ve nominated this before but it’s so good, I’m gonna nominate it again. You will absolutely become invested in Thasman’s well-being.

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67​

Communion (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

But Dean’s natural state is this – nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm. He speaks softly and quietly. His voice isn’t always rough and hard. He sings. MY FEELS. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching all at once.

Sex with Dean is always really good. A lot of times it’s a rushed, life-affirming kind of thing. So when we have time, every touch is at once charged and grounded. And when we have time and are also able to imbibe? It’s metamorphic. All of this, just one perfect line after another. WOW

Just to be his in our own little bubble. And this, this is exactly how this story feels- so close and heavy and perfect Amazing work,.Like, really astounding.

Synesthesia (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Lou took this prompt and did something wildly creative! It’s so well done that the reader can see and feel and taste it.

Wild Thing (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock

I am in love with the Everything series so, so much. Lou has done a beautiful job of building a world with J2 x reader, so loving and creative and hot. This one is, for sure, a favorite! Incorporates one of my favorite quotes into a smoking hot fic. Good work!!

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional​

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

6 paragraphs in, and I knew Val was going to break my heart. This is a gorgeous gorgeous story! Creative premise, great characterization, and written so that you can see and taste and feel every moment.

I found myself wanting to both read faster, and slow down and savor it. And yes, it broke my heart, but so beautifully that I would let it happen over and over again.

Weight (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter​

This one is short and both painful and beautiful. So very heavy with experience and meaning. An excellent example of the ways that our favorite characters can help inspire us, lift us and encourage us to keep going

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords​

Kathy is new-ish to the SPN family but not to either writing or fandom, and it is immediately apparent in her first piece of SPN fanfic. Her creative storyline, her grasp of the characters, and her way with words make it immediately apparent that you are reading the work of a master!

Salvation (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence​

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left. These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar. The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose? This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam! It’s easy to forget sometimes what a fearsome hunter he is, but this author reminds us with razor sharp clarity.

“You’re safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me.“ Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It’s no wonder he’s fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action and some sweet hotness! Plus the author does such a good job with Sam, I’m in love with him all over again. I haven’t read this author much before but you’d better believe I won’t miss a story now!

Casual Affair (oneshot) by @fookinghelljensensthighs​

This Dean x Benny fic is short, smoking hot and painfully good. A must read!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661​

The Force of Habit (series) by @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ 

I read that series at least 3 times now. I love this story, its witty and funny. This fic just makes me smile without trying! Even after reading 3 times, I still thoroughly enjoyed it like it was the first time.  

Satisfied (series) by @crashdevlin​

This is so good, the emotion that this series makes me feel is just out of this world!

Dangerous Signs (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Rhi always has brilliant idea!!! This is one of those and I just can’t get enough of her writing.

Control and Release (series) by @thecleverdame

What start as mostly just porn turned into such a great series with twist and turns!

Hunger (oneshot0 by @impala-dreamer

Oof… what to say about this? it’s Beka! It’s hot and sweaty and makes me want more! Like everything she writes!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1​

Couldn’t Resist (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This is fun, funny, and sexy. Short sweet and to the point, while still getting you hot under the collar!!!

Dark Obsession (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Where do I even start in this drabble! It's so fucking cute and funny! I was laughing out loud and could totally see TFW trying to play their parts here

Promise Me We’ll Be Alright (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

What a pain in the heart this fic was. It hurt so good!! I was ready to cry

Say My Name (oneshot) by @idabbleincrazy​

Smoking hot! While in general Baby-girl is a turn off for me, this fic is so far from it! funny at the start with some cracky dean who is caught in the middle, then getting some possessive Sam which is like my fav! 

I’ll See You on Your Birthday (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

SOOO MUCH FLUFF!!! Like seriously i needed a dentist after. Some cute ABO pregnancy right here!

Just A Number (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Again Sexy and Funny (I have a type ok) This was a great use of Age Gap and it wasn't creepy and didn't need a little blue pill at all!

Happily Ever After (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

HAPPILY EVER AFTER! It's all i need to say!!!! Read It!

Missing Person (oneshot) by @emilyshurley​

This fic is by my favoritest human in the world!!! It’s hilarious and silly but also almost canon. Plus I make a cameo as Garth’s friend!!! What’s not to love!!! 

Nominated by @lovetusk​

The Only Exception (series) by @ne-gans​ & @negans-lucille-tblr​  

While only the prequel so far, I’m too hyped for this beauty to NOT nominate it.

Survive (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage 

I’m always here for some Alpha!Sam, but this one punched me right in the feels. How dare anyone keep him from his Omega.

He Wasn’t In Love With You (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87  

Dawn doesn't angst often, but sometimes she does and I love it.

Nominated by @there-must-be-a-lock

Noises (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter 

Just. HOT. Hot hot hot like burning. Dom!Cas playing Dean like a goddamn fiddle... what more can you ask for!?

Come For Me (oneshot) by @fangirlxwritesx67 

My favorite thing this author has published so far! There are a whole lot of emotions in this one, adrenaline and fear and relief and lust and tenderness, and you can feel the depth of everything going on between them and the chaos of the moment. Also, nailed the “oh shit where did this predatory hotass come from” feeling that I totally imagine would happen during a first time with Sammy.

Plus One (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield 

This is smutty and raunchy and HOT but it also manages to nail the sweet, loving side of Dean. Smut can so easily be one-dimensional, but this fic managed to be both filthy and tender in a way that feels 150% true to character.

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional 

An absolutely stunning exploration of some parallel universe Deans. Gorgeously vivid language, such incredible character accuracy, borderline heartbreaking but in a way that isn’t hopeless; it makes you feel FULL. My favorite SPN fic I’ve read in a long time.

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords 

Incredibly evocative, gorgeous wistful tone, and a couple little plot twists that hit you with all the right feels.

Nominated by @winchest09

All I Want (series) by @katehuntington

I love this, so much. I love the take on this particular episode and how in fact it brings back the reader instead of *spoiler*. It’s still ongoing and it’s already tugging on heartstrings and has made me cry so if you read this, grab your tissues!

Ride With Me (series) by @katehuntington

This series has my heart. Like this could be a published book that i would read cover to cover, over and over. The spine would be broken, pages glued in because i would have read it that much. How everything is described, how the world is painted, the characters, the setting…just everything. It’s a must read..A MUST READ.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (series) by @talesmaniac89​

This broke my heart. This was so beautifully written to the point i was sobbing behind my screen mumbling incoherent words to my husband before talking to a few other tumblr blogs about it. If you read this, have tissues handy. Dean was so in character and my heart will never be the same. Must read.

The Man In Apartment 43 (series) by @talesmaniac89

This series has me so intrigued! It’s written amazingly, has me gasping, has me seriously flinching at some of the creepy goings on and I cannot wait to see where this goes! It’s an ongoing series and I’m loving it!

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

This lovely little drabble satisfies all my domestic dean needs. Covering his fine ass, arms and back. I mean…Come on! It’s just everything that you need in a bite size package. I absolutely loved it!

Nominated by @katehuntington

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today (oneshot)  by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea on the side.

You’re Home (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

A drabble that’s absolutely worth mentioning, is this short story. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art. 

Imagine Dean debating asking you out (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

I Just Called To Say I Love You (oneshot) @talesmaniac89

This one hurts bad, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterisation beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

Side By Side (series) by @talesmaniac89

Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

The Voices (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss​

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

Nicotine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over. 

 My Hero (oneshot) by @plaidstiel-wormstache​  

What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read. 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[knittingdreams]

Fireheart - Chapter 6

Short and sweet update today! The rest of the chapters are easy to find on my blog, there’s not many posts up yet n_n And remember, you can read more on Ao3, I uploaded a new chapter there today too! :D

CHAPTER 6

Reminiscing

The days turned into a week, and Celaena wasn’t any closer to finding out anything about what had happened with her family. She had managed to settle into a good routine, her body was almost used to daytime, and a little golden glow was starting to show on her cheeks and hands as well as her legs, the only parts of her body that were seeing the light of day. 

She was making up a plan to sneak into the top floor, where Dorian’s father's penthouse was, when she heard the front door of her suite creaking open. She stood up slowly and moved over to the wall, pressing her body behind her bedroom door, waiting. She listened to the light steps on the hallway getting closer, and her legs flexed a bit without even thinking about it. She had no weapons in hand, but she didn’t need any. She waited, crouching, listening.

As soon as the steps were on the threshold, they stopped, and Celaena could see the shadow of a man lurking, looking around the room, probably surprised to see it empty. Had Arobynn sent someone to check on her? Or had anybody found out about her? She didn’t have time to think about it because the figure jumped into the room, closing the door behind him in a quick motion and leaving her without cover.

“Gotcha!” A known voice yelled, and Celaena’s fist stopped mid-air as a palm collided against it.

“For fuck sake, Cortland!” she screamed. “What the fuck are you doing here? And why would you sneak up on me like that?” She took a step back, looking at Sam up and down and frowning as he let go of her fist.

“For fun?” 

Celaena pressed her palms against her face, not able to believe this intrusion to her privacy. Once the shock was gone, she walked over to her bed and dropped into it again, resuming her relaxed position from only a minute ago. 

"So, are you going to explain what brings you here?" She asked, nonchalant, as Sam still stood by the door. 

"Thought I'd check on you. We've been in school for two weeks already, you made it into the cheer squad and you start training on Monday, I'm just wondering what you're going to do about…" Sam looked lost for words and looked down, red colouring his cheeks. 

"Are you worrying about me wearing the uniform? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Cortland?!" She said outraged, standing up and walking right past him and out of the room. Sam trailed behind her, and she could almost feel the apology stuck in his throat. 

"Sorry," he said once Celaena reached the minibar and pulled out a can of cream soda. 

"Why are you even here? What if anybody saw you coming in? Dorian could be around-" 

"Do you think I'm that stupid?" Sam cut in. "No one saw me, I can get in and out of this building without a single pair of eyes catching sight of me, and you more than anyone should know that!" He almost growled at her. 

They were standing right in front of each other now, anger burning their skins and flushing their cheeks. It was a stand-off, one that Celaena didn't plan on losing. 

"I don't need your help," she said for what felt like the millionth time. 

"You can't always do everything on your own, Celaena," Sam said, his voice turning softer as he said her name and took a step back. He turned his back on her, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry for what happened that day, I could never apologize, you keep shutting me out, and I… I was only trying to help-" 

"Out!" Celaena growled. "Get out of here before I rip your throat out." Tears were threatening to come out, burning behind her eyes. 

Sam turned around slowly and looked at her with such sadness in his eyes, that she almost broke. 

"Now," she said, a bit softer. It was a plea, and she could tell Sam knew how she felt. After all, they had been close enough to know each other as no one else did. 

Sam nodded once, slowly, and made his way to the same door through which he had entered merely minutes ago. Before closing the door behind him, he peered in and looked at her turquoise eyes. 

"I really am sorry, I will forever feel guilty for what involvement I had in what happened, and I know I could never make it up to you, but I wish I could." And then he was gone, the door now closed between them. 

Celaena breathed in deeply, trying to avoid the memories from that night from catching up with her. She had been so close to getting out, so close to success before Arobynn's men had found her. She had been stupid, and reckless, and she had been fully aware of the consequences her actions could have brought. But no, it had been so much more, it had been torture, humiliation, and so much pain. 

Her hand mindlessly moved to her lower back, rubbing the harsh skin close to her tailbone. The worst of the scarring was low enough to be hidden by high-waisted pants, and she thought, hopeful, that she could adapt the uniform to hide them too. She went back to her bedroom, grabbed the cheerleader uniform off the dresser, and tried it on. 

"I can work with this," she told her reflection. She could raise the waistline without any problem.

She dropped back on the bed and opened up her computer, thinking about checking up the blueprint of the hotel again. She wanted to work out the best way to get to the penthouse on the floor above so she could set up some hidden cameras. To her surprise, she found a bunch of messages on the screen instead. 

Nehemia: Are you going to the party? I would love to see you there my dear friend!

Dorian: I'll have a cocktail made in your name if you delight me with your presence tonight. 

Lysandra: Party at Dorian's tonight, it's Friday, and you're part of the hive now, so I expect to see you there. 

Celaena wondered if that was the real reason Cortland had shown up at the hotel. Maybe he wanted to see if she was going to Dorian's party. She was absolutely sure the guy would have gotten an invite too. He had become a pretty popular kid, even if he didn't mingle with the same crowd she did. Sam had befriended almost everybody at Adarlan Elite High in as little as two weeks. He was the one every single girl was dreaming about, like a new toy that they wanted to possess. She could see the appeal, there was no denying that Sam was really good looking. 

There was a rough history between them, one that was a bit like a broken rollercoaster ride. 

Celaena still remembered the day she had arrived at Arobynn's mansion. He had carried her broken and tired body up the stairs, and had nested her in a bed with warm blankets. A doctor had come over to check on her, and multiple people had tried to ask what was wrong with her, what had happened. She couldn't talk about it, she couldn't get herself to express out loud what she thought had happened. 

In the middle of that first night, she had woken up screaming, terrified. She had had a nightmare about the plane crash, she had felt the collision against the water again, she had seen her parents disappear under a mass of water as her mother had pulled on the tag of her safety vest. The young version of herself had held her breath as soon as the water had filled the plane’s cabin, and her body had shot up through the surface, her shoulder bumping against the wreckage as she soared up. In reality, she had made it out, but she had dreamed of water filling up her lungs and flames engulfing her world instead. 

She had woken up sweaty, screaming, and had found a pair of small hands steading her, a little voice telling her everything was going to be alright. For a moment, she had thought it was Aedion by her side, but this kid hadn't had blond curls, but short light brown hair instead; and his eyes weren't bright turquoise as hers, they were the color of honey. 

"It's okay, you're okay, it was just a nightmare," the kid had said. 

"Who are you?" She had asked, feeling lost and confused. 

"I'm Sam, I live here, with Arobynn... The man who found you," he explained as the girl Celaena had been back then, had looked at him wide-eyed. 

She had remembered then that a man had found her on the shore after who knew how long. She had expected him to take her to the police as they did in the movies, but there had been no patrols, no lights, no ambulances. Just a black car with tinted windows taking her into a big house. 

"Where are my parents? Where's mum?" She had asked the boy when the memories had hit her all over again, her eyes still soaked with tears. 

"Girl," he had said softly. "Your parents are dead."

She had cursed and screamed and yelled, and through it all, Sam had sat there patiently, waiting for the tantrum to be over while he tried to comfort her with soft words. 

"It will be okay, you get used to it after some time.” He had said after she calmed down. “My parents died years ago, and I don't even remember them much." The young blond girl had thought he didn't sound as sad as he should have been about their deaths. 

"You know nothing!" She had spat on his face. "I'm not like you, and I will never forget my parents!" 

That had been the start or the turmoil. The first few weeks at Arobynn's place she had been so angry with the brown haired boy for implying such horrible things that she had stayed away from him, or insulted him whenever they crossed paths. Eventually, young Sam had stopped trying to befriend her. 

When they started training in combat by the age of 12, they automatically became rivals, like it was meant to be. There were other kids around, others that came and went, but the two of them were the best ones, the ones that were constantly in the spotlight of Arobynn’s attention. They pushed themselves to beat one another, and that’s why they had become the best.  That was the same reason why they had come to know each other so well. 

Celaena laughed at the memories, lying back on her bed. 

Their relationship had gotten better by the time they became teens as they had no other option but to work together. They had to learn how to fight side by side instead of always against each other when they had joined a few illegal tournaments as partners. It had helped them learn about teamwork and tolerance, but Celaena had still kept her distance. 

Teen fighting was something they had endured for the past three years. Arobynn was one of the biggest gamblers in the scene, and he had made a lot of money out of the pair. 

The rules were few, but they were inflexible: 

-No punching on the face, as no one wants to bring the authorities’ attention to a heap of kids with black eyes and broken jaws.

-Last kid standing, wins.

-Only kids under 17 years of age allowed.

Simple and efficient. The fights always took place in underground basements that looked more like dungeons in the middle of the night, and that had been most of Sam and Celaena’s lives for the past years. The fighting had only been interrupted by break and entry, and a few espionage missions. Just your typical teen life, Celaena thought and laughed to herself.

The guild though, was at another level. They were Arobynn’s most trained and elite fighters, the ones that formed his inner circle.

Celaena thought about the tournament Arobynn had talked about. She knew good money would be involved, and she couldn’t lie to herself, she enjoyed the fighting. She wondered why she hadn’t been selected for it. Truth was that there had never been any females in the guild, but Celaena had always been hopeful that she could be the first one, that she was strong enough to make it into Arobynn’s team of most skilled and profitable fighters. But that had been all before the incident. 

Suddenly pissed off, Celaena closed the computer and stood up from the bed, walking over to her dresser.

“Fucking Sam Cortland,” she muttered as she ruffled through her clothes.

Not only had he taken her place on the guild, but he had gone and fucked everything up a few months back. He had betrayed her, and it had cost her greatly. Not only physically, but her relationship with Arobynn was now strained, and she couldn’t help but blame her lack of involvement with the guild for what had happened back then. Arobynn didn't fully trust her anymore but she needed as much money as she could, she needed to solve her parents’ murder to make sure she could pay him back what she owed him, and move along. 

She was ready to buy her freedom. But Arobynn’s fees were high.

She put on her black leather leggings, the ones that had net cut outs and transparencies on the upper tights, and then laced up her black high heel boots. She found a V neck dark purple top with long sleeves, and then rolled them halfway up to her elbows. She stood in front of the mirror for a moment, putting on her contacts back, touching up her makeup and adding some deep purple lipstick. 

There was a party she needed to attend, and an office she wanted to break into.

[rosebloodcat]

AHIT Continuation Thoughts

I’ve seen some posts around talking about wanting a sequel to A Hat In Time, but after thinking about it for a while, I’ve realized no one is actually talking about what they want to SEE in a sequel game.

Sequels are hard to get right. It’s hard for a gaming team/company to recapture the charm of the original games and they often end up falling flat when they come out. Not to mention writing a compelling/interesting narrative that wouldn’t clash with what fans already know about the game tends to be a lot harder than people would think.

If (IF!) Gears for Breakfast DID make a second AHIT game, I’m not sure how well it would do.

BUT!

A Hat In Time DOES have some advantages over other games that are loved enough for people to want sequels. Those advantages being:

The story itself is very loose, meaning there are no die-hard rules about how it needs to/can go.

The overarching story/goal was simple and straight forward, and not restrictive to the player. (Find the lost timepieces to power your ship so you can get home. Very simple!)

Each level/area of the game is small, but it’s obvious that there’s a much larger world that can be connected to them.

There are even some places where you can SEE areas that could be used to expand the level/area while either keeping the original location or even adding a whole new one!

The game isn’t over-saturated with characters that you’d need to account for and keep track of.

Every chapter has 1-2 characters who are central to the chapter, but that also means that there aren’t so many of them that you’d lose track of them all.

The problem (in my eyes) is that the main story for A Hat In Time is already perfectly wrapped up. It doesn’t really have lingering questions we need to be answered, or any goals that Hat Kid didn’t already see to the end.

Hat Kid has reclaimed her Time Pieces, she’s helped the people of the world she has ended up on and left to finally go home.

That’s the end of it.

(Not counting the DLC, since that’s not part of the main story and it can be played BEFORE the actual end of the game.)

[I’m putting the rest under a ‘Read More’ because this got kinda long. Also, there’s a reference to the very end of the game, but considering you’re reading a thing about sequels, you probably already know about it.]

And the reason I’m not too crazy about the idea of a DIRECT sequel is because of the choice we (the player) made at the end of the game. And that was whether or not to drop a single Time Piece to help Mustache Girl.

The game devs would have to make an assumption/decision that would change which action would be “canon” to the series and also open up the idea of “multiple timelines” that could get messy to keep track of. (But also make it possible to have more than one sequel game that could be Canon.)

I can see a couple of possible follow up games, depending on who you follow and what game details you factor in.

The Sequel Focused Games

Two of my ideas could follow Hat kid after leaving ‘Earth’ to return home. (Which means we probably won’t be seeing the characters from the original game.)

One could be based on the timeline where HK dropped the timepiece for Mustache Girl and her ship runs out of fuel, standing her on another world while she searches for an alternative power source to get the rest of the way home. And her possibly discovering a hidden cache of Timepieces and building a story around that.

That would be interesting since it would allow for a whole new world to explore and new characters for us to meet while also letting us keep the gameplay we’re already familiar with. It would also let us have a similar story/goal without things being changes up too much. (And each new chapter would have their own new stories, of course.)

The drawbacks to this version are that some people might not enjoy the new areas and feel like it’s just AHIT with new levels as opposed to a new game.

The second idea could either follow the timeline where HK DIDN’T drop the timepiece for MG or it could be the THIRD game in the series. (I’d say it would be best to leave it ambiguous, so anyone could pick it up and play without someone going “You have to play [blank] first before you can REALLY enjoy it!”)

It would be the one where HK would finally get home and mark herself down as finishing whatever mission she had left her world to complete.

Just like the other game, it would let the devs make a new world and characters for us to explore and it would give us the chance to explore the kind of world Hat Kid came from. BUT! It could also let them revive some of the cut content that they hadn’t been able to use before. (Like Tim the CEO of Time!)

But, as I’ve already said, for both of these story/game ideas we wouldn’t be seeing the characters we know from the original game. I know some people won’t be happy about that, but it’s something that would/could happen.

A completely different route would be making a game that focuses on the residents left on ‘Earth’!

Personally, I can see them doing it like the Sonic Adventure games or Sonic Heros. Instead of making a new character to play the ‘hero’, they have a selection of characters we already know that we can choose from. And each of the characters have different stories/levels to play through, all geared towards their various skills/powers.

I love the idea of being able to play through a story/game that focused on Snatcher and using his various powers to complete levels. Or playing as the Conductor and making use of his train or engine skills. Or as Mustache Girl and fighting epic bosses and bad guys. Something like that would be awesome! And a great way to explore their stories/characters from a different view than we would normally have.

Admittedly, Co-op play might be a bit harder to put into a game like that. Unless you found a reasonable way to group everyone into pairs and put in a tag out feature. Although it would be interesting to see how something like that could be incorporated into the story.

(For the pairs, I can see;

Conductor and Grooves being teamed together [maybe learning to get along could be part of their story?]

Mustache Girl and either Cooking Cat or Mafia Boss. [I’m leaning towards CC, just because I’d love to see her character be expanded on.]

I’m vetoing Snatcher and Vanessa being teamed up though! That’s would be a recipe for disaster. [Maybe pair him with a cut character? Like Moonjumper? Just a thought.] )

Prequel Game Ideas

Another approach could be making a PREQUEL game instead.

Again, it would be divided based on who you wanted to follow for the game. Either Hat Kid, or the residents of ‘Earth’.

I think these prequels wouldn’t have as many levels as the original game but might be fun to use to explore how everyone got to where they were when HK arrived.

If we followed Hat Kid, maybe it would be about how she got her ship and why she was off in space in the first place. What tests she had to pass, the challenges, and maybe even if she was actually SUPPOSED to be in space or if she took off to explore without telling anyone.

I’m not so sure about everyone on ‘Earth’ but maybe have someone who’s exploring the world be the main character?

For this one, I can see them bringing back a cut character to act as the one wander through the world. Maybe the Shapeshifter could be the player character? That would be interesting, playing as a character who’s power was shapeshifting!

(They could even their form change depending on where they actually were in the game!

Like an Owl when on the Express, or a Penguin when around Grooves, or a Person when on Mafia Island. [Maybe even before it was Mafia Island?]

The only place I can think of where they wouldn’t change would be Subcon, but that’s more because I think Snatcher has an exact count of the number of minions there and would IMMEDIATELY know when there was one more than there should be.)

Anyways, those are my ideas of what Gears for Breakfast could do if they wanted to make some new AHIT games.

But what do you guys think?

Do you have any ideas for how a new game could be done? Or what the story could be for one of the ideas I presented? Feel free to mention them!

[purgatoryandme]

Hey! I can't seem to find the post you made with all the books references in Illuminate Me and the reason behind it? Is it deleted?

I know that there is an incomplete one floating around in my reply tag, and it should be in the Illuminate Me tag, but tumblr’s search features are so bad that I went back to the original word doc of the complete list, so prepare for that particular storm lol.  Quoted/Referenced Reading List (In Order of Appearance) Shakespeare: Macbeth I opened on a Macbeth quote (‘When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lighting, or in rain’) because I wanted to start with something immediately relatable. Most readers were introduced to more ‘dramatic’ plays through Macbeth. Beyond that, they were introduced to the concept of pathetic fallacy, which I think plays nicely with Tony as a character (a man who is CONSTANTLY imparting emotion onto inanimate objects…and then actually giving them their own emotions) and with one of the core problems in IM, which is deciding the emotions of others for them. I was hoping to get the ‘feel’ of that without having to lean too far into the actual concept. 

Bonus: I picked this quote in particular because of the importance of threes in Tony’s life (his core group of friends, iterations of the reactor, number of times reborn, his bot children VS his AI children, the number of lovers or almost lovers he has in the fic, etc). Milton: Paradise Lost ‘What is dark within me, illuminate!’ is a modernization of the original Milton quote ‘what is dark within me, illumine’ for readability. I actually feel a bit bad about changing this considering how many people think this is the original quote now. This wound up being a central (and title) quote somewhat by accident. I’m fond of it because of how much I liked a different one that I had originally wanted for Tony’s thoughts of the reactor: ‘yet from those flames, no light, but rather darkness visible’. I had originally wanted to start off on a sadder note, one that showed how much Tony hated losing his humanity, and so the flames of Hell and their physics-bending concept seemed thematically appropriate. I had always intended to eventually invert the imagery – instead of Extremis being (to Tony) flames capable of extinguishing light, the reactor would become a water-like blue light that couldn’t be choked or recreated by any of the shadows that pursued Tony in his life. I picked Milton SPECIFICALLY for the imagery of light and shadows. 

But, man, listen. Darkness visible is a great concept, but it’s also tired. It has, as you’ve noted, been discussed to death. So as I was reading ‘Milton’s darkness visible and Aeneid 7’ to refamiliarize myself with some of the broader themes attached to that particular piece of imagery, I wound up thinking about how to invert the darkness itself instead of the overall concept. The flames of Hell extinguish light instead of having to exist away from it. It is a bad that cannot be penetrated by good. 

Instead of chasing away shadows, which would be implied by shining a light ON them, the request Tony makes here is to actually invert the darkness - to have it illuminate in and of itself. It’s becoming something better instead of being removed or forgotten. On the flip side of that, the darkness within isn’t growing as light weakens, but rather under its own force. Two forces equal in nature and origin in a person. It’s a different take on lighting than the one most critics hammer home. Long ramble is long, but this was the basis for using that quote. It grew from there to have many different meanings, however the core has always remained. All in all I’m pleased with it.

EM Forster: A Room with a View Very forgiving even in its satirical takes on human nature. A lot of passages are very therapy-quotable in their urging to accept the inevitability of causing some harm in life. It plays on a lot of the same concepts with light being obvious metaphor for good and evil that Paradise Lost does, but softens them into more realistic shades of human existence. Isaac Asimov: Foundation Continuing on with themes of rigid morality vs the flexibility and romanticism of humanity, we have Asimov, master of machines and the three rules of robotics! There are lots of quotable epigrams in this beast. The quote pulled from this has two readings depending on what you assume of the man who has said it. If you see him as manipulative, there’s an insidious underpinning of killing off your own morals. If you see him as a kind man, then you could read it as foregoing morals in place of empathy. Tony’s therapist loves a very specific brand of double speak that lets Tony work through the conversation purely through interpretation. Tolstoy: Anna Karenina Tolstoy’s prose is lengthy...so so lengthy, but Anna Karenina is worth the read as long as you relate to at least one of its major characters. Frankly, I think you can choose to read a single character’s plot arc and leave it at that. It’s mostly a novel that is interesting, not because of its plot, but because of its study of relationship dynamics. Tolstoy was really invested in picking apart the idea of what makes a ‘family’ and, beyond that, what makes a class. It’s refreshing to see so much of the critique occurring within the lived experience of the characters instead of through a narrator or outside punishing moral forces. Baudelaire: Windows and Benediction I cannot recommend enough reading multiple translations of Baudelaire poems (fleursdumal.org has a wonderful array available). Benediction is a personal favourite. I love me some malevolence wrapped up in religion. Dante: The Divine Comedy There’s a lot of bleak humor in Dante if you look for it. Several interpretations insist of making each piece excessively grim dark, but faithful translations tend to have a hint of humor in them. It works well for engraving War Machine’s spine - a benediction and a mockery of human limitations. I try to pick quotes that not only fit the scene, but would still fit into the context of the grander themes from whence they came...unless I hate the author. Tennyson: The Lady of Shallot “I am sick of shadows” vs “I am half-sick of shadows”. Tony’s expressing more frustration here with being alone and his passive involvement in that loneliness. Another quote I feel vaguely bad about changing, haha. The Lady of Shallot is a very nice classical piece that I’m sad isn’t taught in schools alongside Hamlet. There are some nice Ophelia parallels here. I wanted a feminine influence on Tony’s loneliness and one that is somewhat youthful despite his age. Yeats: Vacillation I fucking hate Yeats as a person. That said, the man can write. The man can REALLY write. His pieces are almost always layered to the point of absurdity and he’s perfect to swiping quotes with multiple meanings. Definitely Tony’s kind of author. Goethe: Faust Speaks for itself and in the author’s notes on its reference.  Dostoyevsky: The Brothers Karamasov IMO a book that deserves all the acclaim of Anna Karenina and then some. Very VERY Russian in its ethical debates of, as always, religious morality vs free will. Also dips into familial struggles and patricide, because it wouldn’t be a Russian classic if it didn’t contain some deeply buried bitter resentment towards paternalism. I’m going off-script here, but this is a fucking excellent book. I don’t really have words for how much I enjoy how Dostoyevsky explores the concepts that he does. Shakespeare: Julius Ceasar Shakespeare: Twelfth Night Twelfth Night deserves more credit for its development and maintenance of an enigma. Twelfth Night has charisma in spades both because of and in spite of the exceedingly petty actions of some of its characters. It is also a refreshingly simple take on love for the sake of it. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Stephen King: Lisey’s Story I consider Lisey’s Story to be the best of King’s work. The man has his obvious writing ticks and his even more obvious issues as an author. Lisey’s Story contains many of them, but navigates them far better than any of his other work. The monster here is all in the mind and is too vast to truly see or understand. It’s perfectly representative of a creeping sense of inescapable horror. It was fun to flip it on its head with a reference here – Tony isn’t terrified of dying, but he is terrified of his inescapable enjoyment of Bucky’s company. Maria’s family saying is inspired by Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass Armitage: The Death of King Arthur A genuinely fantastic classic tale of heroism, filled with all the drama, tragedy, and sacrifice that you’d expect with strongly feminine undertones. I’m a sucker for this kind of thing. TS Eliot: The Wasteland Excellent piece of poetry with many layered meanings and dual interpretations. I can’t really articulate my thoughts on The Wasteland, but I reference an essay at the end of this list that does that for me. Oedipus Rex Rupert Brooke: Safety Not directly quoted but obscurely referenced through Bucky and Tony’s war conversations + Bucky’s conversation about, you got it, being ‘safe’ with his therapist. His poetry is about WWI and is, largely, idealistic. Safety is…not quite an exception to that. His other poetry contains a certain sense of honour and duty, whereas safety, maintaining a seemingly light tone, has nothing of the sort. It is safety in the soul – something untouchable by the horrors of war or death. It treats that as a ‘house’, which leant itself to the article Tony send Bucky. Armine Wodehouse: Before Ginchy Not directly quoted but obscurely referenced through Bucky and Tony’s war conversations + Bucky’s conversations with his therapist. This is also WWI poetry, though far darker than Brooke’s work. It discusses the parts of the heart and soul soldiers lose. It is an extremely good piece AND references Dante’s Inferno. I had to work it in somewhere even if I didn’t want to directly quote it. Meyer and Brysac: Tournament of Shadows Referenced several times over in discussion of war, the great game, and British military history. Beautifully self-aware account of Britain’s insistence on rewriting history after the fact and the tiny hilariously embarrassing moving pieces that shaped what is often considered the heyday of espionage. Murakami: Kafka on the Shore I love Murakami’s response to questions about understanding the novel as a whole. There are no solutions, only riddles presented, and through their interaction the possibility of a solution takes place. It’s a great lens through which to view the book and individual passages taken out of it. Reminds me of The Wasteland having to be read in totality before you can begin picking it apart, after which each individual piece can be read of its own. Kafka on the Shore, with its musings on the uncertainty of fate and redemption, was the perfect book to outline Tony’s horrifying realization, which he is desperately suppressing, that he might be coming to accept Bucky’s feelings. This quote in particular, while I would’ve used it anyway, is also a great callback to the first chapter and its storms. Chapter 29 is a turning point. Beyond it there are some intentional quote contrasts that are probably more easter eggs than they are anything else. Yeats: A Dialogue of Self and Soul Great contrast with Vacillation. Some parts of self and soul are used in that poem and thematically they are connected and contrasted - self and heart vs self and soul. The symbolism and imagery in Vacillation is really on point and layered, but Self and Soul is peak Yeats for its reversal of the typical ‘the soul is pure and bluntly honest and the body is tainted and bad’ in Christian works. Also Self and Soul’s broader context is scrumptious considering the debate poems history of relying on divine forgiveness and lack thereof instead of on forgiveness of the self. 

It was fun to give this poem a double meaning in IM as both hugely ominous and ultimately pointing to the later forgiveness Tony receives from himself through the divine (if the soul stone can be called that) in the heavens (space!). There’s also another fun twist to ‘who can distinguish darkness from the soul’ in its contrast with ‘what is dark within me, illuminate’. To take that a step further, Vacillation was the beginning of the path of forgiveness for Bucky (understanding Tony’s heart…somewhat literally as he slowly gets closer and closer to the reactor itself), while Self and Soul is a final step (re: Bucky being presented the final hurdle of Tony deciding to move forward alone). Hermann Hesse: Siddhartha Hesse is wonderfully blunt at times. I gotta admit I love German takes on spiritual self-discovery because they always seem to tend towards much more straightforward answers than other countries. Hesse’s relationship with Buddhism in literature vs his lived experience is also really intriguing. Anyway, Siddhartha, in its humanizing of Gods, is wonderful contrast to the consistent imagery of the untouchable and unknowable forces of good and evil in previously quoted works. It has stopped bringing humanity to the divine and has started placing the divine within humanity. Emily Wilson’s translation of the Odyssey One of the ultimate poetic epics. Now that we are nearing the end, I’m going overtime with making the grander themes of this whole piece hit home. A lot of IM was built on a foundation of poetic epics, of heroism, and a bit of Greek tragedy. The Odyssey embodies all of those things beautifully. It also suited Thor too well to pass up. Yeats: An Irish Airman Forsees His Death Ah, Yeats. Very blatant foreshadowing here that is keeping with the foreshadowing from Self and Soul. Fate has, up till this point, been a bit of a question. It has been ‘when will it come to me’ and ‘how will I avoid or overcome it’. Now fate is a set point. It is knowable and present. ‘I know I shall meet my fate, somewhere among the clouds above’. This goes for the true onset of Infinity War and for Tony’s feelings towards Bucky – when he had no one, he allowed Bucky in after essentially promising himself he wouldn’t. If that’s not an accidental admittance of love, nothing is. Henley: Invictus Absolutely fantastic poem. Continuing with the heavy fate themes coming into this climax. Now that Tony knows his fate, truly knows it, he is choosing to take it on directly. Agamemnon (Anne Carson’s Traslation if you prefer a more modern language approach, Lattimore is you prefer a classic) Agamemnon is forgotten all too often in the world of poetic epics and it’s a damn shame. I cannot say enough good things about it. I always wanted to use lines from Agamemnon in a Tony fic because the Cassandra parallels were too perfect to resist. The chorus in this play was also a perfect narrative device for interacting with something of a hive mind. Yeats: The Wanderings of Oisin Another poetic epic. Nice contrast with The Odyssey, The Death of King Arthur, and Agamemnon. Here the dialogue is between an aged hero and a saint looking into the hero’s past. It has the kind of reflective and aged mood necessary for this stage of the story, but is actually a poem I sortof hate. The line ‘And a softness came from the starlight, and filled me full to the bone’ is absolutely gorgeous, though. Some final inspiration pieces:

The Penelopiad 

The Iliad 

House of Leaves (for surrealism in the final chapters) 

Dante at Verona (used in an author’s note as an intentional jab at the dull uninspired nature of the this particular take on Dante. Repurposed quote, essentially) 

a broke machine just blowin’ steam by themikeymonster (great character study of Bucky) 

Frank Kermode’s essay “Eliot and the Shudder” (inspiration behind Tony’s entire interaction with literature)