#i love how edward can be designed in so many different ways

[monstersteam]

(2/2) Legendary Edward vs. @moffittarts' Edward

[flippinpancakes64]

Hello, I absolutely love your work. iv re read your stuff so many times that it's getting concerning.

Can I request the cullens x artist reader who made a painting of them I just think that would be cute

The Cullens with an Artist! Reader

Thank you?!?! I suggest seeking mental help for rereading my bad stories tho

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

We all know that he is an artist too

He made Bella a whole song on the piano

As someone who can play the piano, that’s not easy

So he definitely loves that you’re also artistic

For you, he’s a muse

I mean, how could he not be

Literally the definition of perfect

So obvs you sketch him a lot

When he finds an almost finished painting one day of him, he is floored

He can never seem to wrap his mind around the fact that you are just as obsessed with him as he is with you

He hangs it up

Even if it’s not finished

If you insist on finishing it, he will begrudgingly take it down and give it back

But as soon as it’s done it’s all his

Alice:

She’s also an artist

But more with fashion

And design

She’s not so well-versed with the classical arts like painting or sketching

So she always loves seeing your paintings

She’s a coexistence girly

She loves to just be doing something while you’re painting

You know just sort of existing in the same space at the same time

The day you give her the painting, she is so surprised

It was so difficult for you to hide this from her

Especially with her gift

She absolutely loves it

She hangs it in the main room of the Cullen house

She wants absolutely everyone to see it and acknowledge how talented her s/o is

Jasper:

He loves the arts

They’re relaxing to him

Some of his favorite classes he’s ever taken in all of the schools they’ve been at have been art classes

He’s not good by any means, but he loves it anyway

Art dates with him are a must

He would love that tiktok trend where you and your partner trade paintings every couple of minutes

Never misses an opportunity to tell you that he loves your work

He honestly almost started crying when you showed him your painting of him

You made him look so happy, so peaceful

He’s used to being perceived as a monster

Definitely hangs it up

But only in his room

He wants to be the only one to see it

Rosalie:

She’s more of a technical, sciencey person

Not to say she doesn’t like art

Just that she doesn’t necessarily enjoy making it

She can definitely appreciate good work tho

And she loves everything you make

She buys you new supplies all of the time

If just one pen ran out of ink in your favorite set, she would buy you a whole new set

When you give her that first painting though, she’s obsessed

She wants at least 20 more by tomorrow

But actually, she knows that she’s beautiful

But something about the way you capture her is just so different she loves it

Emmett:

He’s not an art person either

He’s a bit of a meathead

But he can appreciate art

Probably not as deeply as other people can

But he know when it looks good

And he genuinely thinks you’re the best artist ever

He will gladly put all of your little doodles in the clear pockets of his binders

And hang them on his locker

When you give him the painting of him he’s actually dumbfounded

Like awestruck

What do you mean the best artist in the world just made a painting of him?

Get ready to be cuddled for the rest of the night

Esme:

Resident artist

We already knew that tho

I’m pretty sure it’s said that she’s the one who made the grad cap piece?

Idk

Either way she loves art

Pottery dates, painting picnics, date nights at the art museum

She loves it

So if you were to ever paint her and give it to her?

Yeah she’s gonna start crying

She just loves art, she loves you, and you put them together and she’s so in love

She hangs it in the main room

It doesn’t matter if the colors clash

And it’s never coming down

Carlisle:

Another appreciater of the arts

I mean, he probably knew Da Vinci on a personal level this guy is so old

So it’s no shock

Whenever he’s home and hanging out with you, he loves to watch you paint or draw

Especially if he’s doing some paperwork

I just feel like he would like the company while he’s working

Now I don’t see Carlisle as the type of guy to necessarily enjoy pictures or paintings of himself

The only portraits he has in his office are either him in a crowd or family photos

So when you give him a portrait of himself, he’s a little shocked at first

He doesn’t want to seem narcissistic, but damn you made him look good

He hangs it up in your shared bedroom

Even though he knows he will likely never have guests who would see it, he wants to make sure it’s hidden

He just doesn’t want people to think he’s vain

But he secretly loves it so much

Vampire! Bella:

I think I’ve talked about it before but this girl would have loved deviantart

Rip Bella you would have loved fan art of your favorite characters

But she totally had an artsy phase

I don’t think she’s necessarily good or bad

She just prefers to look at art rather than make it

So that’s where you come in

She loves just watching you work

Every once in a while she paints with you

But she always feels inferior when she looks at what you made vs what she made

So she usually just sticks to admiring

The first time you give her a portrait of herself, she doesn’t even know what to do

She’s still getting used to actually perceiving herself as beautiful

And then you capture her like she’s a goddess?

She needs to lie down

She loves it tho

[lakemojave]

Mojave's Top Ten Games of 2023 (3 of which actually came out this year)

I figured I should make a list like this at some point, but I didn't actually play many new games this year. Well, I played tons of games for the first time and loved so many of them, but few of them were new releases. At my current stage as a game critic, I'm playing a lot of catchup, trying to get context for current games, playing the classics and the seminal franchises of the medium. I do not have a game of the year pick. Even though I was behind the curve, I still wanna talk about the experiences that moved me this year.

Honorable mentions:

Baldur's Gate 3 (2023): One of the densest, fleshed out, satisfying narrative RPGs the gaming industry has seen in years. Immersive, well written and charming, no two people can have the same experience with this game because of how much variance and player choice is accounted for in the gameplay and script alike. It's for that reason it's not on the list though--not only have I not finished it, I'm also not doing it singleplayer, and am missing out on much of that juicy story content in favor of me and my group's meta-narrative.

Black Mesa (2020): The remake of the first half life is sharp, smooth, and immersive, combining what was visually and narratively compelling about Half Life 2 back into the original story. It has some of my favorite setpieces of the entire half life catalogue now, which is saying a lot. It's off the list in favor of the original.

Dead Space (2023): A triumphant return to the horrors of the Ishimura incident, with insidious twists to the game design and story that disrupt a fan's familiarity with the game world time again. It scared the fuck out of me so many times, but the bittersweet feeling I get thinking about the fate of the Dead Space franchise means RE4 gets its spot.

10. Oxenfree 2: Lost Signals (2023)

The long awaited sequel to 2016's Oxenfree caught me by surprise after playing the first game just before it. Playing the original teen horror, I'm struck by how grating some of the dialogue can be, how sophomoric and cheap it can feel without drinking deep of the content. What makes this version of teen horror so compelling, though, is that through sympathetic participation with Alex, you catch yourself from griping at the young characters for making foolish choices, which is very effective.

What's stunning about this sequel is that in the 7 year gap between games, it's not just the team and the audience that has matured, it's the writing all around. Your character, Riley, is in her early 30s, returning to her hometown and feeling very existential as she peers into the past, the future, and the unknown in between time and space. The world of Camena and Edwards Island is expanded on those lines, the thematic focus becomes resonant and emotionally devastating, and the dynamic with young characters, familiar or not, demonstrates how strong this second chapter to the oxenfree story really is.

9. Resident Evil 4 (2023)

Look. I love a horror game. 2005's Resident Evil 4 may be among the best of them, and it may be timeless in its own right, and it may be foundational to so many other games I love today, but god damn is this remake fun. With sharper visuals and atmosphere than the original, intricate new resource systems like knife durability and parries, and some updated character work, it's safe to say this is a categorically different game than the original. Plenty of material was cut from the main game, like the IT fight or the laser hallway, which found their way into the DRASTICALLY improved Separate Ways expansions, starring Ada Wong. It's not my favorite Resident Evil, and it's far from the scariest, but it's the one with Leon's spin kick, and there's nothing more satisfying than that.

I do maintain a lot of early gripes I had with the remake. When Resident Evil 8: Village came out in 2021, it borrowed a lot of mechanical, narrative, and aesthetic tropes from RE4, updating them to a new game in the wake of the remakes of RE2 and 3. Those remakes were truly transformational masterpieces, blending all of Resident Evil's best aspects to create new, distinct experiences. RE4, the original, didn't really need much updating, it's been ported to hell and back already and is so ubiquitous that there was no real need to bring it back into the zeitgeist. Nothing can really be gained by this remake except for a victory lap for Capcom.

Cynicism aside, FUCK YEAH, TWO CAKES!

8. Mass Effect (2006)

I should say that the version of Mass Effect I'm playing is not the one that came out in 2006. The Legendary edition does a bit of graphical and mechanical tweaks to update some of the dated aspects. That's kind of a shame, because the dated aspects are what's so fascinating about Mass Effect. Between Baldur's Gate 3, Disco Elysium, and now the early Fallout games, I find myself taken by classic CRPG design, which accommodates such a wide variety of player choice. Mass Effect doesn't have too much choice in it--the progression and ending are pretty much fixed from the beginning, you basically choose what flavor of the script that you want.

In that way, I like Mass Effect as a transitional piece--an attempt to bring the aspects of early CRPGS into the modern, console games market, with all the budget EA would give them. The writing and design are...satisfactory. The shooting could be more robust, the characters could have more personality, and to the series' credit those things do come about in Mass Effect 2 (which I'm sure I'll gush about when I finish it).

It's the presentation I love here. Mass Effect has maybe one of my favorite sci fi settings I've ever seen. A vast array of alien civilizations, a rich history filled with interesting lore, a competent portrayal of intergalactic politics, all delivered by characters that are deep and interesting. The voicework is also some of the best I've ever seen, and although there are many standouts, Jennifer Hale's Shepard is just tremendous. Actually playing Mass Effect may be a slog, completionist play might require some of the worst loot grinding I've ever seen, but that is all secondary to the way I was captivated by Mass Effect's version of the final frontier.

7. Half Life (1998)

I did a whole ass 5 hour video essay about Half Life, and I don't wanna belabor how much I like this game and series too much more. I loved Half life 2 and the portal games for years, but it was only for that project that I actually got around to playing this. It's a real bonafide classic, containing so many tropes of modern immersive action games WAY ahead of their time. The setting of Black Mesa is deep and engaging, the environmental storytelling is strong, and the voicework is natural and believable (for the most part.) Sometimes as a game critic I have to give some allowances to an older game for some of its jank and some of its rough edges, let myself see the thing just for what it is without all my modern hangups. I don't have to do that with Half Life like I do for other games. There's parts of it that are rough, like the Interloper and On a Rail chapters, but Half Life feels just as good to play now as it did 25 years ago.

6. Dredge (2023)

There's an old tumblr post that proposes a fishing game that's secretly a horror game. That post imagines a game that starts out normal and comfortable, but as the game goes on the player would catch stranger species of fish, soon finding monsters lurking in the deep and hidden secrets. It got a lot of peoples' imaginations going and engaged a lot of fan artists and even more comments riffing on this idea.

Dredge is that game. I was so gleefully surprised to see this game go through every single one of those steps in the first region alone. The game has a strong atmosphere and great art, leading to some real weird and nasty fish to catch and fill out the weird and spooky encyclopedia. Fishing at night gives you different and weirder fish, but it also raises your panic meter, which can cause hallucinations and open you up to monster attacks. It's a pretty ambiently scary game for the most part, and I almost chalked it up to being more horror themed than actual horror, until this one lagoon where a giant tentacle suddenly shot up at me out of a sudden drop in the ocean floor. I fuckin yelped, actually screamed in a way only two other games have gotten me to do this year.

5. Alien: Isolation (2014)

I have never, in my life, felt more powerless in a game than when I played Alien: Isolation. I'm used to games like Resident Evil, where you have a toolset for survival that is limited, but allows you to give actual pushback towards the zombies trying to get you. I played Amnesia: The Dark Descent this year too, the opposite of this dynamic, where you have NO means of resistance whatsoever, and the binary outcomes of monster encounters of that game completely broke my immersion.

Alien: Isolation actually gives you myriad crafted tools to overcome your obstacles, from human scavengers to androids to the xenomorph herself. Yet, the impossible speed and predatory senses of the monster means that one slip up means instant death, and the death animations are pretty brutal. Through cunning and cautious play, you can slip past the Alien enough times to where you get a flamethrower, which will repel her in a pinch. However, her AI is advanced to the point where she will learn your habits between deaths, look for you in lockers if you hide in them a lot, resist certain tricks like noisemaker bombs or flares. It's in keeping with how the 1979 movie presents her: a perfect killing machine. In fact, its the way so much of the Sevastopol resembles the aesthetic of that early film that not only helps the atmosphere, but makes the alien's power more believable. Immersive and terrifying, Alien: Isolation is a horror triumph.

4. Undertale (2015)

Yeah that's not actually a joke. I really did only play Undertale this year, and I was really actually completely blind going into it. Of all the games I'm happy I got to experience fresh, it was this one. Undertale seems tropey in its game design, story beats, and writing style 8 years later, but that's because so much of its design has been cannibalized by indie developers going after this aesthetic. As a bullet hell, it's...fine. As a meta commentary on retro RPGs and on the act of violence in video games in general, it's incredible. It legitimately gave me immense joy to reach the end and have my stubborn insistence on pacifism challenged even further, and then rewarded in the best possible way. I got to experience it on stream, too, with some friends who had played it previously and one who did not, and we all did the common thing and did funny voices for everybody. It's created some real cherished memories for me, memories that wouldn't have hit as hard if I did not wait to play Undertale.

3. Metal Gear Solid (1998)

Now here's a game I truly thought I'd never get around to. I'm a big fan of the Metal Gear series and when I learned that konami was releasing the master collection pack of the first 3 games, I was fuckin' stoked. If there's one other game that dictated the trajectory of storytelling and presentation of modern games like Half Life did, it's this one.

Having played the first two metal gears, the 2D ones from the late 80s, I was struck by how much of the basic design beats of Metal Gear come directly from the early titles. Seeing them translated into 3D is just incredible--all the prototypical stealth design transcribed so seamlessly into a much more legible visual language to me. The shooting may feel like ass and the bosses may have healthbars the size of Alaska, but the moment to moment sneaking in this game is so intricate and thorough that you really do feel like a tactical master as you go about it.

None of that touches on what's most memorable about Metal Gear Solid, and that's the presentational aspects. The animations and models might be worse than Half Life's, but the writing and voice acting is just world class. David Hayter as Snake, Cam Clarke as Liquid, Christopher Randolph as Otacon, and Patrick Zimmerman as Ocelot (hell even an early Jennifer Hale role) are astounding performances, even today. The cutscenes and dialogue are certainly oversaturated and long, but goddamn if I don't like watching and listening to them. I love this damn game.

2. Bloodborne (2015)

Bloodborne has been more of a myth and less of a game for me. I played some bits at a friend's house in 2017 and never owned a PS4 so I never thought playing it would be possible for me. I obsessively watched lore videos and playthroughs which got me into Dark Souls 3, then Sekiro, then Elden Ring, which has fueled much of my activity on twitch and as a game critic in general. It was only this year that that same friend lent me her PS4 and I played Bloodborne 3 whole times until I 100% the game in a matter of months. The experience was so meaningful to me that I ended up scrapping my first bloodborne video and starting from scratch, this time with Bloodborne Kart dev Lilith Walther as a guest.

I have never been more immersed in a game world than I have been in Bloodborne's. Yharnam is not only such a dense and intricate city, it is drop dead gorgeous in such a grotesque and macabre way. Many words and many writers have already described the surreal hypergothic smokescreen shrouding the insidious cosmic beings steering the terror and bloodshed from out of sight, so I won't repeat them here. You don't forget the sights and sounds of Bloodborne--they linger in your imagination, the visual language shapes your own ability to conceive of images and ideas in horror fiction, twisting the familiar into stranger shapes and forms.

Plus it just feels so fucking good to play. I like From Software titles and their style of combat, and I like how fast combat works in Sekiro and Elden Ring, but neither of those games accommodate brutality like Bloodborne does. You're meant to attack recklessly, cravenly, no blocking, just press the attack again and again until you're drenched in the gore and blood of your foes. You feel like one among the beasts--after all, what difference is there between a predator and the man that hunts them?

1. Signalis (2022)

I have not stopped thinking about Signalis since I played it the first time. The game is like a fucking honeypot for me. It's got Resident Evil style tank controls as an option, with similar combat and inventory management, themes and presentation similar to Silent Hill, and a sci fi flourish akin to Dead Space. So what, it's every great horror game jammed into one retro style amalgamation? Sounds like a great time for me!

That's just the surface, the hook of it all. While the game certainly uses this familiarity to pull you in and make you comfortable and excited for its own terrors, there's a creeping feeling of unease as you continue to revel in the horror and gore that's taken over these halls. Your character, Elster, is a special ops android in a fictional fascist regime, who has abandoned her post to search for her human partner, whose identity eludes her as she slips into delusion. After reaching the depths of the first area, where the space mine turns into a hall of flesh and viscera, the very walls pulsing and dripping, the world suddenly resets, and you find yourself back in the very first zone, now covered in the same blood and gore. The characters cry out in pain at you, begging you to stop, to turn back, to stop prolonging their hell with your own pursuit of an ending. A chalkboard in a classroom with a pretty frivolous note early on now reads "YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE."

If I go on I'm gonna spoil the whole game, but that part there is the essence of Signalis to me. Many games will challenge your own enthusiasm for playing, question the time you spend in the game rather than like, going outside or something. Few games will actively blame you for prolonging the suffering of the game's inhabitants and creating a self contained digital hell. Few games will ask you "why do you want terror?" in the way that Signalis does.

Signalis is a triumph of horror game design. The imagery is horrifically cryptic, the worldbuilding is dense, the monster design and soundscapes are creepy and effective, the gameplay feels desperate and every bullet fired feels like a scream for help. Signalis is my favorite game I played this year, hands down.

[strangestcase]

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEPEOPLE FAQ

What is the League of Extraordinary Gentlepeople?

The League of Extraordinary Gentlepeople, or LXGP for short, is my current writing project: an AU of the 2003 movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which is in turn a loose adaptation of the series of comics of the same name co-created by Alan Moore and Sir Kevin O'Neill.

The basic synopsis of both comics and movie is as follows: a somewhat dysfunctional superhero team composed of nineteenth century literary characters go on politically charged adventures. The comics and movie are very different, and... very much acquired tastes. Albeit I recommend watching the movie! It's extremely cheesy. Fun too!

Ok, but- what is LXGP really about?

Glad you asked!

In the late XIXth century, a mysterious type known as Agent M sets off to recruit various individuals which he calls Extraordinary People and forms the League, claiming it is the key to preventing a world-wide war! But as events unravel, the League comes to realize M is not who he claims to be...

The LXGP stories are out of order, focusing on both retellings of scenes from the 2003 movie and original stories set after the events of the movie canon. While it is mostly based off the movie, there are elements from the comics, some dramatic changes, and the character designs and personalities are taken from my literary crossover "world", Candyverse! So they will be, in some ways, very different from what you have seen in the LXG franchise.

Hold on- Candyverse?

Candyverse is the name of my literary crossover setting! Expect most of the cast to consist of public domain literary characters (and some not so public domain ones). Don't mind the silly name- the character designs are mildly inspired by sweets in the sense that they are colorful and spunky! But don't be fooled, Candyverse is a pretty dark world.

In Candyverse, Earth is actually a fantasy world, in which elves and fairies and all sorts of mythical creatures used to live... but as people stopped believeing in magic and replacing it with science, it started becoming a science fiction world instead, with amazing technology that is downright futuristic. During its nineteenth century, it is at its most unstable, with gothic literary characters and events "bridging" the supernatural with straight up mad science. And that is precisely the time I am centered in, so expect some gaslamp fantasy and steampunk tech!

Once we delve more into the lore, expect meta stuff, too!

Which not so public domain characters?

Wait and see!

How much time have you spent on this?

If I'm being honest? The concept of this AU came to me around 2020, in which I realized I had enough classic literature characters designed to cover the LXG roster with it- and I decided to jump to action. It has undergone a few changes since, but so far I'm satisfied with it. Also, don't be scared if a soft reboot comes along in a couple of years- I'm indecisive like that!

Why did you create it?

Do you want a honest answer? Just kidding.

I really like the LXG franchise, particularly the movie, though I'm aware it is an acquired taste. This project is meant to be a reply to all the missed opportunities in either comic and movie, and to common criticisms too. I make it with love and a little bit of anger (because SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!), and I ride the inspiration unicorn as far as I can.

A shorter answer would be that the gothic lit fandom loves to spread misinformation about it and that drives me up the wall.

So... What's with the title?

The League's roster is only 2/6 men. It's only fair.

And the roster is...?

Mina Murray Harker (she/they), Captain Nemo (no pronouns), Irene Adler (she/they), Henry Jekyll/Edward Hyde (he/they/it), Harlow Griffin (he/him), and Alice Byrd (she/fae). I will make -and post- official character bios as soon as I can!

Wait. Alice? From Wonderland?

Yep! She's in her mid-twenties here!

In which year is this set?

In the year of 18??, more or less.

Where is Jonathan? My good friend Jonathan?

He's at home! Technically he is a member of the League, but he is not in Mina's team, but in a second "backup" team that I still have to fully develop!

(This is mostly an excuse to not have to write him. I think he's a pretty boring person. Sorry!)

Where is Tom Sawyer?

He's also in the backup team!

Where is Dorian Gray?

Wait and see!

Where is Allan Quatermain?

He's dead.

...I'm sorry?

Do you have any biases?

*hiding Hyde behind me* Haha, noooo, not at all, what makes you think that, hahahaha.

Are the League heros?

Collectively, they're heroes. They do good. Well, attempt to do good. After breaking bonds with M, they set off as a rogue team of mercenaries. Individually? They range from heroic to villainous. And, honestly, for old-timey superheroes, they're ratther floppy. Their missions often go wrong or do the opposite of saving the day. Whoops!

Will there be queer stuff in this?

All League members are transgender. Does this answer your question?

...I meant like, romance...

Sheesh! Yes, yes there will be! Just be patient!

Will there be... steamy stuff?

I suck at writing NSFW so yeah, "steamy" is all you're gonna get lol.

Will you post art?

I suppose I will- when I make it.

How often will this update?

WHEN. I. HAVE. FINISHED. A. STORY. THEN. I WILL. POST. IT. THAT'S. WHEN. IT. UPDATES.

Can I make art?

Sure you can!

Can we collab?

SURE!

Can we kiss?

Ew. No.

[away-ward]

"However, we know that A.P. was not wealthy like Edward, but he was ambitious and intelligent. We don't know what drove A.P. to work so hard to get a scholarship to TBP," - from your post asking who gave damon the key to carfax room.

Wait, A.P. was a scholarship student? Hold on, he was kinda like emory? A self-made person?

+ i would really love an epilogue by pd showing a bond between michael & emory, and talking about how different the graysons had made michael's old, cold, haunted, and lonely house to look like how it is now in willemmy's care. I bet he would notice the warmth, and the liveliness of his old house, especially their old kitchen, since emmy loves to cook and bake. We could even have extras of emmy bonding with the women through cooking or biweekly/monthly baking or smth in that house :( what do ya think?

Weeeellllll I might be jumping the gun on him being scholarship student. The story that Will tells just indicates that there was a difference between the wealthy kids on the team, and the scholarship students or those who needed scholarships for college. He later makes a point to say that A.P. was not wealthy like Edward. Could be that A.P. just wasn't as wealthy as Edward, but the way Will tells it leads me to believe A.P. didn't come from money.

I also have a post in here where I thought the Grayson's were old, old money. That could still be true, since A.P. could have married into money, but it does seem that as a teenager he was in a similar position as Emory.

But how are you guys interpreting that story?

+

Wait, I thought Will and Em moved into the old Fane residence, like Rika's house? Since her mom married Will's uncle?

(First I miss who gave Damon the key, and now I might have mixed up the houses?? Do I not know this series at all? Quick, who did Emory marry? It was will, right???)

But yeah, I would have loved more interactions with the characters. I was reading a post earlier about how the term "filler episode" was originally used and how it's used today. I always used the term to mean parts of the story that seem to just be padding the run time/pages without adding enough to the plot or character to be enjoyable. I enjoyed the point that was made by the person writing it. They explained so many authors and writers today have heard the term "filler" and have been told filler is anything that doesn't move the plot forward and they need to get rid of it.

But while chapters with characters development or interaction may not move the plot forward, they're not filler or padding. Readers and series viewers love that stuff. They crave it. If watching these characters just have simple interactions so I can understand them better or see the little background moments that build their hint at their relationships/bonds is filler, then I'd read an entire book of filler. Give me all the filler.

Despite what PD writes, I love the idea of these people just being overly involved in each other's lives. A hundred combinations of group chats, always in each other's houses, knowing exactly where they keep the good snacks, ruining each other's plans. Bake nights, movie nights, planning surprise party nights. All of it. That's my idea of a chosen family, and how I prefer to picture them.

I love the idea of Michael reflecting on Emory's style. Listening to portions of Fire Night reminded me that Michael wanted to open a resort and it seems like they did - Cold Fire Inn. I know they brought in Damon and Emory's company for that, so I imagine there was a lot of discussion about how best to represent Thunder Bay while including their own style and appealing to the masses. They probably grew to appreciate each other even more, though I know they fought over aspects of the design. Damon probably enjoyed watching Michael receive a verbal beating at the hands of Emory. He probably recorded some of them to send to Will later. Oooh can you imagine Michael trying to verbally spar with both Emory and Banks.

No chance.

Sorry, that was a lot of rambling. Thanks for the ask!

[just-an-enby-lemon]

(second part): so since you threw the question back: some things I'd want them to carry over from the movie would be some of the designs - Bruce's look when he takes off the helmet and his eye makeup is smeared and his hair a mess is very fun for a young version of the character and it makes him seem more real and vulnerable. Selina's pre-Catwoman thief outfit is nice too, i like how makeshift it looks and that the beanie forms cat ears and how many earrings she wears, it suits her. Another design is the interior of Wayne Tower and the batmobile design, I wouldn't mind if these designs got carried over to the comics either. Another thing is that movie Bruce turned one of his father's old cars into the Batmobile according to tie-in material, which I think makes for interesting symbolism: using something his parents owned to avenge them. and another thing from that novel that could get carried over to the comics is that Edward was a mediocre or bad student - I know that's already older comics canon but I think they should bring it back again, it's always more interesting imo when he wasn't a good student because that would fuel his need to prove he is smart even more if even school was telling him that he isn't, and having him be someone that got failed by the school system not because he wasn't smart but because of his bad home situation and the way his neurodivergence was treated could be used to criticise that system too. Penguin starting his criminal career by working with Falcone could be interesting too

as for things I don't want them to carry over: aside from what you said also Riddler's character design, it's bland and the whole para-military vibe is something that doesn't really fit the character outside of the movie's version not to mention that it's always sad when a flamboyant character is made to fit society's standards of what is "normal" to be or dress like more. I also don't want them to carry over the way that his neurodivergence is portrayed because no offense to the actor but it came across like it really played up that he is a "scary autistic guy" who is scarier because he's not neurotypical. I also don't like how aggressive he is when delivering his riddles, it fits well for this version, but shouldn't become the standard interpretation imo. Oh and I think Martha being an Arkham shouldn't get carried over either cause her being a Kane is important because it makes Bruce jewish on his mother's side. The families could still be related though ofc, maybe via Thomas' mother?

...and now I'm curious what you think of those points haha

Okay. Let's go. About the desing choices you mentioned: heck yeah. I love how both Bruce and Selina's costumes show clearly that they are still starting their carrear and it's genuinally great. Wayne Tower has a great desing and adding to it soo does the Wayne Mansion.

And the batmobiles being adapted from Thomas cars and the desing reflecting it: aaaa. I did not knew that and now my hearth is melting.

• Edward being a mediocre student is something I actually have no opinion about on one way or anothe. I do have a soft spot for Ed being a bad student because his brain was wired different and the text based educacion system is a fraud because of the old comics. It works soo well to explain Edward misplaced fear of being a fraud, his need to prove his inteligence, because he is a genius, but since the way he filters and presents information was different than what formal education wanted he was wasted. A characther who failed by society in all aspects. It can even figure out in a version of him who doesn't know Bruce's secret identity (namely the Arkham games) as even though all evidences point to Bruce he refuses to believe that someone who was never failed by this system, who had the good grades and a good guardian and money and honestly everything could be Batman because that would mean that everyone was right that he was not helped because he isn't good enough.

But I also enjoy Edward being the best student in class and I feel like that can also created a system of self worth based on inteligence. I'm far from a genius but I had good grades and being a bullied kid with undiagnosed autism and just being weird the fact I was considered smart was the only value I could give myself for a long time. I had panick attacks when I forgot to do homework or got answers wrong because my value was being smart. It also creates a weird paradoxal feeling of you are better than everyone else because you are smart but also your value is only mesure by that if you do a mistake you are worse because you have no other talents. And since I wasn't a genius when things got hard (since no one teached me to study as I "didn't need it") and my grades started slipping in High School I started having severe panic attacks and that was how I started therapy. So I can see an Edward who never had this moment, who was mistreated at home and bullied and isolated and different but at least he had good grades and everyone always told him this was his only value and that this was enought to make him better than everyone else and he had no reason to not believe in both of those things. And still serves to criticize the education system.

So that's my way to say I think both aproachs are good and I like the idea. Sorry for the tagent.

• Penguin working for Falcone could be nice.

• Riddler's costume: Oh geez. It makes me question what they will do with Robin?

But seriusly it fits the universe. But comics are wild and any universe who has Constantine, Swanp Thing and Clayface has to stop trying for realism. Also people do dress dramaticatly or silly normally. So yeah. I hope they don't bring it to the main continuity. Also yes I hate when they nend characthers to fit into more socialy accepted clothes or behaviors and use "realism" as the explanation.

• FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT. I mean some people are talking about it, but it's still such a small percentage.

DC has a huuge history with ableism in relation to bad portraits of mental health. Two-Face often poorly writen TDI is a prime example. Or just the fact that Arkham is based on Bedlam mostly for the scary factor. But I like to believe they are slowly improving on it or at least in showing that being neurodivergent and/or mentally disabled are not the reasons that the rogues are evil. Having Riddler's compulsive OCD being adressed in Unburied not as the reason for his crimes but as something that genuinally harms HIM and his perception of self was a small detail but it was a good start. Same with how they are slowly dealing with Harley being a survivor of DA or Bruce having panic attacks (showing Bruce having panic attacks was also a win in Unburied though it already had happened in some comics) or Jason dealing with PTSD. It's small things but they are progress.

That being the case it only makes worse for me how Riddler was portrait in The Batman. It was sooo fucking ableist. Specially for autistic people. And as an autist myself it gets me genuinally mad and offended. How the fuck did accidental coding on 1966 Riddler made for better stim representation than intencional coding (because it was intencional no one can convince me otherwise) in 2022?! Were they trying to be offensive? Was autism speaks involved in the charactherization? How did they fucked up soo bad?

• Agressive riddles should not be a thing. I think this is specially important as a thing that should not be translated to auditory media: podcasts, cartons, audibooks, future movies. Because I think it takes a lot of what riddles should mean for Riddler and also because I'm a firm beliver that all riddles should be told rhytimically in aduitory media, almost musicaly, specially with characther who do it a lot and/or like them. It just works better in my head.

• Yeah. Martha being an Arkham was something that was comic book cannon for a short while, but I don't like it. Bruce's accidental jewsish heritage makes soo much sense when taking into consideration how DC and MARVEL were founded mostly by jewish people. It feels an homage to this people (same reason I cannot see Peter Parker, Steve Rogers and Clark Kent as not being jewish though in Bruce's case they made it cannon, by accident but still).

While I think it could be interesting to have Bruce have Arkham blood on his father side. He is already related to two of the founder famillies and deeply conected with another via the Elliots. Maybe give the Arkham decendant to Tim to mix a little. Also Bruce being related to Jeremiah Arkham would be a strange thing in comics (like i don't think Mark Reeves plans to using Jeremiah so it's fine, but in the comics he already exists so it would be weird). I just think it could be cool but now really necessary at all.

Wow. I wrote a lot. Feel free to coment in any of it.

[cherry-toffee]

hi OP im here to reblog this with the things i liked about the book !!!!!! because i also wanna talk about it and deffo think that we need to appreciate it a bit :) warning for spoilers obv (and also being a little long. oops)

firstly, a lot of stuff was cut and thats okay!!! a bunch of stuff had to be changed and removed and shuffled around because its an entirely different format. making an episodic podcast into a book series has both pros and cons; one of those cons is the restraints of books as a whole. yes, the mcelroys could have simply made the book longer so they could include more. but they said on stream that they are already pushing the length limit with these GNs. too much more and they would end up with a super heavy and expensive (to make and to buy) book, AND a miserable amount of work for carey. i personally think that they did a great job at reworking the suffering game and reunion tour arcs into something readable.

speaking of carey, we just gotta talk about the fact that she never misses!!!! she puts SO much into designing every outfit and prop and weapon and background. she fucking builds them in blender!!!! thats wild!!! so much thought goes into designing every outfit for every character, like merle's bag in the beginning (which is canonically full of snacks) or barry's denim jacket. or stuff on the cover alone, like mangus missing a pinky and merle wearing his ring of the grammarian. and her use of color!!! one thing i love is how the background behind the panels changes colors because it's such a simple yet effective way to change the tone. sillier and less dramatic scenes tend to have white or bright colors the background, while the more prominent and emotional and tense scenes have black or a darker color. its a great way to add a certain ambiance while also keeping things visually interesting.

(and that's not even mentioning how clever carey is when it comes to the formatting of the panels and the text! that shit is hard as fuck and i refuse to let it go unnoticed. im especially fascinated by the pages that don't have any panels at all, and are instead one big spread!!!)

and can we talk about the things that were added instead of the things that were cut ??? like the umbra staff constantly trying to throw itself into barry's hands. it seems like such a weird thing when you don't know, but when you do, it's this amazing bit of foreshadowing that tugs at your heart so much and fits perfectly with the other scenes. (the umbra staff and kravitz, or the umbra staff eating edward in wonderland.) or griffin as a literal character!!! i think that its a super cool way to incoperate the D&D elements and game mechanics into the story (alongside things like the bits of parchment that give character or spell info). all of it a great way to take advantage of the different medium.

there is obviously SO much more, but those are just some of my favorites. the podcast and the graphic novel aren't the same exact story and that's okay!!! it's like a book turned into a movie: you can show instead of tell, which creates so many opportunities (like the usage of color and visual foreshadowing), but it ultimately has it's own limits. the suffering game is one of my favorite arcs (same for reunion tour), and i can confidently say that i was not disappointed!! the GN is different, yes, but it is by no means bad. it's an amazing way to retell in the story in a different form, which also opens in up to a broader audience! many people don't want to listen to a podcast (or can't listen to a podcast) and the GN is an awesome way to remedy that. (and sometimes you gotta view it as it's own work; not as something to compare to the podcast.)

ok yall can i please have some positive shit on my dash because like damn im getting tired of these negative takes. i haven't seen a single person on my dash who hasn't been like "i liked this but here is every single thing im disappointed about and nothing else"

like yeah sure it's shorter than the eleventh hour. but also the eleventh hour was after a huge hiatus. and also it's fucking hard to draw that many things, period. carey has taken on a crazy workload and it's super impressive.

and also the point of the graphic novel is not to be an exact podcast copy. it is to reach a wider audience and, to do that you have to simplify, cut, and change things to make it understandable to someone who might not have heard the podcast. thats literally what the artist not at the beginning of the first novel says.

also its expensive to put out books?? it's not like these guys are multi-millionares, they're three podcasters, their retired dad, and an independent artist. pages is time is money.

also i haven't heard a single person complain about cutting something that was actually plot relevant.

like, im just really tired of the lack of sympathy for the creators. they gave us something beautiful and excellent. they put so much work in and i think it paid off. the world of the graphic novel WAS NEVER meant to be the world of the podcast, it was ALWAYS going to have changes, and i just want to see this beautiful piece of artwork be appreciated.

so please reblog this with what you liked about the book. i want to talk about that.

[softboyluvr]

something told me i should

edward cullen x fem!reader

warnings: intentional lower caps, not proofread but other than that just fluff

the year the cullens arrived at forks was no different than any other. summer was over, yet it was the first few weeks of the fall where the sun didn’t shine as hard but the humidity refused to let go of it’s claim. the sunny days at the beach being replaced by the comfort of four walls and an ac as the hot rain pelted outside. 

 alice was the first one you met, her bubbly and chatty personality making you both fast friends, though she would always make it sound like your friendship was fated. written in the stars was how she liked to put it. 

despite her best efforts the next cullens to be added to your list of friends were rosalie and emmett. and although alice loved her family warming up to you it always seemed like something was missing for her. 

it wasn’t weird at all when her house became your designated hangout spot. matter of fact you loved the cullen house, it was always just at the perfect temperature and it smelled sweet and inviting. but when you really thought about it everything about them seemed inviting. 

it was one of those intolerably warm fall days when you found yourself on alice’s room, alice missing from the equation. it had been a couple minutes since she disappeared through the door and you could see the sun beginning to set outside. you got up from your comfortable spot in alice’s bedroom and started the walk towards the stairs, not paying much attention to the way but getting lost admiring the beautiful home that never seemed to lose it’s charm, when a pair of hands stopped you in the way. 

a string of apologies already making its way out your lips as your hands go to grip the arms of whoever is steading you. your eyes finally meeting the strange man’s ones, the bronze hue reminding you of alice’s. 

“im so sorry i wasn’t looking at where i was going” his hands were still holding on to your bare arms and only then did you start to feel the cold seeping from his fingers. 

“don’t apologize, i wasn’t paying much attention either” he smiled warmly at you. “i was looking for my sister alice”

his arms were strong and firm, and the way his words dripped out of his mouth like honey. it was almost like you were under a trance. “alice hasn’t been upstairs for a good half an hour”

he hummed, his eyes were still scanning your face when alice peeked her head from behind him. 

“edward! i see you’ve met my friend y/n” 

his eyes left yours for a moment as the left corner of his lip curled upwards. “seems like i have”  his hands slid down your arms as your own let go of him, stepping back to get out of his way and walk towards your friend. suddenly reminded of why you were in the lookout for her. 

“al i have to head home” you nodded your head towards one of the many windows, the sun starting to hide behind the trees. “curfew”

alice’s eyes fleeted behind you. “oh no” she sighed. “babes jasper just asked me to fetch him something from his room and i need to get it to him as soon as possible. he might need my help for something else”

“don’t even worry about that. i can walk home” you said with a smile on your face. 

alice’s eyes blew wide. “of course not. that’s nonsense” her voice raised. “edward can drive you home. right edward?”

you turned your head to see the hypnotic man, who’s name you now knew was edward, halfway through the doorway to what you presumed was his bedroom. his eyes met yours and he smiled, his fingers slipping from the doorknob. “sure” and he was on his way back to you. 

alice clapped and bid her goodbyes to you. placing a fast kiss to your cheek and then she was gone. 

his voice was velvet when he spoke again, suddenly beside you. “let’s get you home yeah?”

you nodded and let him lead you to his car. a shiny volvo parked next to a flashy red sports car, he opened the door for you and you couldn’t help but blush. that was the first time a guy ever opened the door for you. he smiled. 

the drive to your house was comfortably silent. edward asked you for directions from time to time but it always seemed like he already expected your next command. 

you broke the silence first. “how come i have never seen you around?”

he turned to face you with an eyebrow raised. 

“i always hang out with alice at your house and i had never seen you before”

edward didn’t respond. he knew why you had never seen him, he didn’t want to meet you. alice’s thoughts were the hardest to avoid and he hated when she would lay his future in front of him. especially when said future included a human girl, a human girl who she went out of her way to befriend. a human girl who was now sat inside of his car mere inches away from him. 

“i apologize. i seem to be very busy these days”

having you so close was distracting him, all he could see were alice’s visions all too clear inside his head. and he knew he was diving headfirst onto something that he swore he would try to avoid. it didn’t help at all that he could hear everything you thought about him. seeing his own eyes through your mind was confirmation enough, you were diving in too. 

he could see you frowning from the corner of his eye and before you said anything else the words were falling from his mouth. “i don’t think alice was truly busy, you know?”

you laughed. “i was just thinking the exact same thing. she never flakes on driving me home”

he was parking outside of your house now. turning so his full attention was on you. “im glad she did”

you smiled and the way he was looking at you made you wonder if he could feel it too. maybe you were just making it up. 

“could i get your number?” you just kept looking at him. “i know i could get it from alice but i just don’t. i don’t want you to leave yet”

maybe he was moving too fast. but after seeing his future laid out with you, he couldn’t help himself. he had denied himself of this for too long. 

after a brief pause you smiled. “sure”

he watched as you typed your number onto his phone. adding a smiley face after your name, making a smile of his own appear on his face. you opened the door and slid out of his car turning around one last time. 

“call me” you said with a smile and then shut the door. walking to your doorstep. 

edward raced home, debating when the appropriate time for calling you would be. he didn’t want too seem overly eager, but he didn’t want you to think he was uninterested either. he barely made it inside the door before alice was planted next to him talking excitedly. 

“i already have some ideas for your date tomorrow so i think you should call her now”

edward smiled, pulling his phone from his back pocket. you picked up at the fourth ring. 

“hey, i didn’t think you would call” you sounded pleased to hear from him. 

his laugh came out soft. “something just told me i should”

—————

thanks for reading omg. seeing the feedback is so encouraging and fills my heart with joy so thank you thank you thank you. requests are still opened <3

[ladyluscinia]

As someone who is nebulously in the “Izzy is a bad person/ not an Izzy fan” camp, your posts have helped me realize something pretty important. A big part of why I hold those opinions is because I view Izzy through the lens of symbol and allegory rather than complex personhood. Maybe that’ll change in season 2 as we learn more about him, but as of now I think that’s a big reason why I and many others are quick to judge and excuse wrong doing against him. For some it’s simply difficult to connect with him as a character, and much more accessible to see him as a reminder of hypocrisy within the queer community. Hell even a reminder of that one old friend who for whatever reason just CANNOT let the fact that you’re growing as a person go.

I don’t know, what do you think about the concept of there being a difference between analyzing characters as people and analyzing them as representations of larger societal issues?

Interesting question...

I mean, I am a big proponent of "characters aren't real people and that's important to remember when discussing them", which does dovetail nicely with a lot of discussion on "What is this character in the story?" And a character being a symbol or representation of something else abstract or systemic is a perfectly valid option. Nigel Badminton, for example, has a twin brother who loved him, but absolutely none of us give a shit about how his death affected Chauncey emotionally because both of them are really just symbols of oppressive societal power / Stede's childhood trauma / bullies in general / etc. The show only cares about their deaths insomuch as it affects Stede, and Stede literally admits he doesn't even feel bad about it.

They are such straightforward examples of narrative tools all the way down to their deaths, which are pure symbolism via black humor. Like, Nigel falls on his own sword because he can't stop mocking Stede to take him seriously for two seconds, and Chauncey shoots himself in the head the moment he fulfills his role in Stede's story because it's a hilariously dark joke that this happened to Stede twice.

To take this to Izzy however... Ok, so three major questions once you think a character is representing something:

What is this character representing?

What is the story trying to say about it?

How direct is the represention? Or to put it another way: How much of a person are they vs just a symbol?

Because most characters with any decent amount of screentime are going to naturally become more "people" than "symbol". It's not an either/or situation. OFMD creators have been very open about how the show is looking at toxic masculinity, for example, so I think it's pretty safe to say Izzy is the character on screen most pushing that mindset via the abusive pirate culture he's firmly planted in. I also think the show has a lot to say about classism, and Stede is pretty obviously the designated character for that. (I also think Lucius is, because he's kinda picking up the furthest extreme of Stede's version of piracy just like Izzy is Edward's, but that's a meta a little to the left of what you asked.)

But Stede is a lot more than just "rich guy", and despite the fact you don't exactly root for the rich guys in classism narratives, we are supposed to root for Stede. His arc is about learning. The show's message is broadly not upper class positive - look at the French partiers - but Stede can escape it in a way they can't because he's also a character in his own right, and the show's overriding theme is about growth.

I think Izzy is certainly complex enough to be a character, unlike the other antagonists who are kept mostly offscreen. He has a major connection to one of the mains, which tends to automatically convey a level of depth. He also just... doesn't function effectively as a pure symbol of oppression, because he's not bad enough. There's so many writing decisions where it would have been so easy to make him worse. More aggressive. More textually bigoted. More directly harmful. And they didn't. (...Fuck it. Linking to that time I said this and got immediately blocked.)

An example that's been getting me recently: In his very first episode, why didn't Izzy steal the hostages? That's like basic antagonist setup. Especially for people that think overt racism is at play here at all (I very much do not) it would be the simplest thing in the world to have him steal them from the natives for some stupidly easy early work on that front, and establish it with a line of dialogue. Instead the line we get is "Oh, we sold them to some guys." They had him pay for them.

And all of this I think ties back into that second question of "what is the show trying to say," because I do not think the answer is "Izzy is just our stand in for bad people and we do not care about him." Especially not if he's the designated representation of toxic masculinity, because I think Izzy-as-a-character is clearly suffering under toxic masculinity. He's specifically also a victim of the system, and it's kind of a fucked up and pessimistic message to say victims of a shitty system deserve to be written off as a comedic punching bag and die unhappy. Isn't it better thematically if he's a person like Stede who can learn to be better???

We're in a world where Edward's backslide into the toxic masculinity aligned system starts with 7 attempted murders + mutilation and abduction, and we're going to forgive this and give him a happy ending. At this point the show's message is approaching incoherent if Izzy is irredeemably evil and deserves to suffer.

[storiesforallfandoms]

the type you bring home to mom ~ eddie kaspbrak;it chapter two

word count: 2361

request?: no

description: in which he finally brings his girlfriend home to his over protective mother, and it goes exactly as he thought it would

pairing: teen!eddie kasprak x female!reader

warnings: swearing, overbearing mother, derogatory name calling (i guess?), basically eddie’s mom just sucking

masterlist (one, two)

note: (y/n/p) = your parents’ names

I played with the hem of my dress as I walked up to the Kaspbrak household. I was regretting my choice in wardrobe, but it was too late to change now. I knew nothing would feel right anyways, I had already changed three times before I came over.

For the first time in our year long relationship, I was meeting Eddie’s mother. We had somehow managed to keep our relationship a secret for so long that I never felt like I had to meet her, and Eddie wasn’t exactly pushing for it either. As much as he loved his mom, he also knew she was manipulative and overbearing, and he often told me how he was afraid of his mom scaring me off because of these facts.

When the news eventually got out and travelled quickly through the small town of Derry, as gossip usually does, it got to Ms. Kaspbrak in no time. She immediately demanded to meet me, and Eddie set up a dinner at his house for the occasion.

Before I could even knock on the door, it swung open to reveal my tall boyfriend smiling down at me. Any tension I had melted away as I looked up at him, into those beautiful eyes that could calm me down whenever they were on me. He took my face in his hands and pulled me to kiss him. It was such a normal action that, at first, I leaned into it happily, until I realized the circumstances of my visit and quickly pushed him away.

“She’s not here,” he said, as if reading my worried thoughts. “She’s gone out to get some stuff for dinner.”

He stepped aside to let me step into the house. It wasn’t unfamiliar territory; Eddie and I had had many rendezvous there during the rare moments when his mom wasn’t home, but it felt wrong to be there on this occasion. I just wanted it to end already, and to go home or go for a long drive with Eddie.

“Come, sit,” he said, leading me to his living room. We sat close to one another on the couch, so close that we were just barley touching. Feeling his arm brush against mine sent sparks through me.

“How worried should I be?” I asked him, trying to remain as light as possible.

He sighed and shuffled in his seat. “I wish I could tell you not at all, but...”

He trailed off so I finished his sentence for him, “But it’s your mom.”

Eddie nodded. “But it’s my mom.”

One of his arms was around my waist. I hadn’t realized that the skirt of my dress had hiked up a little until the hand around my waist started to play with the hem, his fingertips brushing against my ass. His other hand touched my leg, starting lightly on my knee and then slowly travelling up my thigh till it stopped on my inner thigh. I shivered, wanting him to go further.

Most people who knew him would never believe that Eddie Kaspbrak, the hypochondriac, fast talking, former sheltered mama’s boy, would be absolutely mind blowing in bed, and constantly handsy whenever we were alone. I hadn’t even believed it until we got together, but man, Eddie knew how to make me feel absolutely amazing.

He leaned forward to kiss my neck, his fingers tracing circles in my inner thigh. I was shivering with anticipation and whimpers were escaping my lips. I could feel Eddie’s amused smirk against my neck as he placed another kiss there and lifted his head to look at me. He kissed my lips and his hand finally made its way further up my skirt.

Our moment was interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming. I practically jumped to the other side of the couch, touching my neck in hopes that he hadn’t accidentally left hickies there.

“You’re good,” he said, understanding what I had been doing.

The front door opened and I suddenly felt paralyzed. I wasn’t sure if I should stand up or stay sat down, if I should move even further away from Eddie or stay exactly where I was. In the end, I stayed frozen like a deer in headlights as his mom rounded the corner, arms full of grocery bags.

“Oh,” she said when her eyes landed on me. “Is this...her?”

There was a slight leer to the way she said “her”, which made me want to squirm under her intense gaze.

“Mom,” Eddie said, a partial warning tone in his voice, “this is (Y/N), my girlfriend.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Kaspbrak,” I said. “Do you, um, need any help with - ”

“No,” she cut me off. “I have it. You’re early.”

“I told her this is when to get here,” Eddie defended. “You wouldn’t tell me exactly when to invite her over.”

“Well, this is hardly dinner time,” his mother huffed. “It’ll take me a while to get dinner ready.”

“I can help,” I offered again.

“No,” she said, sharply, which told me that was the end of the matter.

I shrunk down in my spot on the couch.

“Mom,” Eddie snapped again.

She glared at me before turning to her son, trying to soften her expression for him. “I’ll let you know when the food is ready. For now...stay here.”

When she disappeared into the kitchen, Eddie immediately moved to sit next to me and took my hand in his.

“I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’ll get through it. It’s just dinner then we’re done, right?”

He nodded, but I could see the worry on his face still.

A while later, Ms. Kaspbrak called to tell us dinner was ready. She had made sure to place everything so that Eddie and I were sat at the heads of the table, far apart from one another, while she was sat between us. Eddie and I shared a look before sitting in our designated spots.

Dinner started with awkward silence besides our cutlery against the plates. I tried to keep my attention on my plate, but every so often I’d glance up at the Kaspbraks to see Eddie nervously glancing between me and his mother, and his mom just glaring daggers at me. The nervousness I was feeling took away my appetite, but I felt like I had to eat everything to make a good impression, if that was even possible.

“So,” Ms. Kaspbrak said, drawing our attention to her, “(Y/N). Your parents are (Y/P/N), right?”

She already knew the answer to this question. I had grown up in Derry, where everyone knew everyone. There was a reason she was asking, and I had a feeling I already knew what that reason was.

“They are, yeah,” I responded.

“And they’re divorced, aren’t they?”

“Mom!” Eddie groaned.

“It’s just a question, Eddie,” his mom said.

“It’s okay,” I said with a shrug. “I don’t mind talking about it. That’s kind of old news anyways. They divorced when I was 10, dad moved to the next town over and mom got full custody of me.”

“That doesn’t seem like a very stable upbringing,” Ms. Kaspbrak commented. “I’m sure it’s taken such a toll on you, you must’ve decided to rebel somehow.”

Eddie put his face in his hands, officially admitting defeat on trying to stop his mother.

“Actually it wasn’t anything like that,” I said. “Mom and dad stayed pretty civil. There wasn’t any big fight or anything, just an agreement that they’re better off not being married. When dad moved he made sure to stay in constant contact, and comes to visit all the time or I’d go to visit him. Mom always made sure I had a roof over my head and food on the table. They both love me unconditionally, even if they’re not together.”

Ms. Kaspbrak sat back in her seat, a sour look on her face. “Well...regardless, it’s just not right to be raised by a single mother.”

Feeling a bit brave, I raised an eyebrow at her. “Eddie was raised by a single mother.”

“That’s different. My husband died, he didn’t decide to abandon me and Eddie.”

“My dad didn’t abandon us, he’s still very much a part of our lives.”

She ignored me and continued to eat. I looked across the table at Eddie to see him avoiding all eye contact with either of us as he pushed his food around on his plate. As if feeling my gaze, he looked up at me. I gave him a small smile to try and indicate that I wasn’t upset with him. I wanted him to know everything was going to be okay, even if I didn’t fully believe it myself.

“How many boys have you had sex with, (Y/N)?”

The question caught me off guard and I nearly choked on the food I had just put in my mouth.

“Jesus Christ, mom!” Eddie snapped.

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vein, Edward,” his mother chastised him.

“You can’t just ask something like that, mom, that’s none of your business.”

“Of course it’s my business. I need to make sure my son isn’t dating a slut. I remember you were friends with Beverly March before she moved away, and trust me, I heard all sorts of stories about her. Anyone who would hang around with her must be somewhat similar.”

The mention of the untrue bullshit that used to be spread about Bev made the anger within me bubble over. I was seeing red as I looked up at Ms. Kaspbrak, and I was ready to pounce.

“Actually, your son took my virginity, and I took his,” I told her. “And we have sex quite a lot, sometimes upstairs in his bedroom when you’re not home. Although, for someone who says he was a virgin I don’t know how much I believe it. Eddie has done things that I don’t even think the most experienced of people could do.”

If he was upset with me for saying all of this, Eddie’s face didn’t show it. He was sipping on his water, trying to hide the smug smile that broke out across his face.

Ms. Kaspbrak’s face turned blood red before she rose from the table. “Get the fuck out of my house!”

“Gladly,” I said, abandoning my dinner to quickly leave the shitty situation.

“And don’t you dare come anywhere near my son again, or else I will have the cops on you!” she threatened.

I stopped and turned back to face her. “For what? For dating your son? For showing him that there’s someone who actually cares about him without manipulating him? For finally cutting the cord that you’ve had wrapped around his neck since he was born? Ms. Kaspbrak, I understand that you’re afraid to lose your son the way you lost your husband, but being a manipulative bitch who forced him to think he had illnesses he didn’t have for years and insulting his girlfriend in front of him is not the way to keep him around. Eddie is 18 years old, he’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants, which includes dating whoever he wants and leaving this hell hole that you have the audacity to call a home. The day that you finally accept that just might be the day that Eddie finally considers you to be an actual mother.”

And with that, I decided not to overstay my welcome and left.

I was only a few feet away from Eddie’s house when I heard him calling after me. I slowed my pace just enough that he could catch up with me, but didn’t completely stop. I wanted to put as much distance between myself and the Kaspbrak house as I could.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed as he fell in step next to me.

“For what?” Eddie asked. “I should be the one apologizing to you.”

“You warned me on how she would be, and I still let her get to me,” I said. “I probably made having to live there a whole lot harder.”

“It was hard to begin with, (Y/N). Nothing could make it harder than what it was,” he told me. “What you said, it was all true. Mom needed to hear that. Doesn’t mean she liked hearing it, or that she’ll actually accept it, but she needed to hear it none the less.”

“I guess I could’ve said it nicer,” I said. “Or at least not included details of our sex life.”

Eddie awkwardly chuckled. “Yeah, could’ve done without mom knowing I’m a sex god.”

I gave him a look and playfully nudged him. “I never said you were a sex god.”

“Eddie has done things that I don’t even think the most experienced of people could do I believe were your exact words.”

“I only said that to make her more upset.”

“So you’re saying I’m bad at sex?”

I pushed him again. “Eddie!”

He laughed and put an arm around my waist. “I appreciate the compliment either way. And I hope you know how much I love you.”

I smiled up at him and leaned into his touch. “I love you, too.”

We walked in silence for a while and, before I knew it, we were at my house. We stopped and turned to face each other.

“Want to stay over tonight?” I asked. “I figure going home isn’t exactly the best option right now.”

“It’s not,” he agreed. “Will your mom be okay with it?”

“Of course she will, she loves you. She’ll probably even cover for you if your mom calls.”

“I take it back, I don’t love you. I love your mom.”

“And I take back my offer. Go sleep on the streets.”

I took off for my front door with Eddie hot on my trail. I tried to open it and lock him out before he caught up to me, but of course his long legs gave him an advantage. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me away from the door, both of our laughs ringing out through the otherwise quiet neighborhood.

[gxddessliving]

i love how you refer to edward art's videos in your post, I love that!

i've been struggling with picking a scene that feels natural to me. i read edwardartsupplyhands series on his subreddit and he said "the most natural scenes are ones that you WANT to imagine"

and i agree with that. but i find it hard to find scenes I want to imagine especially for my desired body. when I try to imagine, I feel like a part of me is forcing myself to imagine so that I can get it or try to perfect the scene. do you have any advice on this? :)

i'd love to be able to pick scenes that feel natural to me anytime so I can really immerse myself with my imagination and fall in love with it. because love transforms and if i love it, then I'll commit to it!!

thank you in advance!

"love transforms and if I love it, then I'll commit to it" oh my gosh awwww that sounds so sweet!!!

in the earlies, I also struggled with this. I remember changing the scene up and fixing every little detail so many times. I'll be completely transparent - I did not really focus on imaginal scenes that much when it came to claiming my body. I love affirming, and that's what I committed to! I remember taking @halokisses ' advice when she said that we are our mind and truthfully, we know exactly what we mean when we claim it.

However, I hope my advice can be of some help !

First, relax. have fun with it! remember you are the creator of your reality and you're in charge- not the scene you're visualising.

What scene to choose ? Have a conversation with yourself and ask yourself why you desire your desired body. When you acknowledge why you want it- choosing the scene will become much clearer and easy and you're bound to fall in love with it. I remember Edward saying "what we really desire is I AM, I AM is the problem (our old story / undesired state) and I AM is the solution (our new story)". "I AM seen as sexy by all" , "I AM in love with my body" "I AM able to fit into cute clothing" "I AM within my designated BMI" . I'm sure a different scene can pop into your head for each of those affirmations above. Ask yourself what I AM (you) really wants to achieve when curating this desired body in the 3D and the scenes you want to choose should become a clearer.

How to make it more natural - Do's and Don'ts. Do: visualise yourself doing more regular tasks like brushing your teeth, laying in bed, having a shower etc. Don't: hyperfocus on every little detail. think about it this way- when you visualise your body usually- do you think about the way the back of your neck looks ? no! so don't fret, trust yourself and don't force every single thing to be "perfect" cuz frankly we don't naturally hyperfocus on all our features all the time anyway.

I don't think I mentioned this in my success story post- or anywhere else- but I also used (and still do) the affirmation "my life is always better than I imagined" and that solidified all my affirmations in my opinion but esp desired appearance because I really do look better than I initially imagined lol.

I hope I was able to help in some way. I'm a huge self concept advocate - so before my main affs (or before imagining your scenes) I'd claim that I have mastered manifesting and you def should to!

[thimbil]

Having some thoughts about the references and inspirations used for the Bad Batch’s designs.

So Boba Fett is my absolute favorite character and Temeura Morrison was perfect casting. I went to see the 2008 TCW movie in theaters because I was so excited to see him again, even if he was animated. You can imagine my disappointment. Whoever was on screen was not Temeura Morrison. You could sort of see a resemblance if you squinted and didn’t think too hard about it. They replaced Temeura with Racially Ambiguous G.I. Joe. If I didn’t know better and someone told me the animated clones are space Italians from the moon of New Jersey I would buy it. One Million Brothers Pizzeria and Italian Bistro. Not that there’s something wrong with being space Italian, I just don’t think it’s the right choice for the Fetts. The design got slightly improved by season 7 but it still bugs the hell out of me.

I did eventually get into the show later and (of course) got invested in the clones. Unfortunately, they were largely sidelined by the Jedi storylines. Out of the two new main characters created for TCW, Ahsoka definitely got more development and focus than Rex. When they announced The Bad Batch, I was excited to see a show specifically devoted to the clones… at least that’s what it said on the tin. We have all seen what lurks beneath those stylish helmets.

Jango Fett, you are NOT the father.

So who is?

Based on interviews with Filoni, it sounds like the Bad Batch was a George Lucas idea. And like all his ideas, it’s super derivative. The original trilogy directly lifted elements from sci fi serials, westerns, and samurai movies, more specifically Kurosawa films like The Hidden Fortress. For The Bad Batch character designs, the influence is obviously American action and adventure movies.

Now let’s get specific. Bad Batch, who’s your daddy?

Hunter

Sylvester Stallone as Rambo in First Blood 1982. That bandana has become an integral part of the iconic action hero look. You see a character wearing one and it’s a visual shorthand for either “this character is a tough guy” like Billy played by Sonny Landham in Predator 1987, or “this character thinks he is/wants to be a tough guy” like Brand played by Josh Brolin in The Goonies 1985 or Edward Frog played by Corey Feldman in The Lost Boys 1987.

Hunter’s model is closest to the original clone base. If you look closely you will see the eyebrows are straighter with a much lower angle to the arch. His nose is also not the same shape as a standard clone like Rex, including a narrower bridge. It’s certainly not Temeura Morrison’s nose. Remember what I said about space Italians? It didn’t take much to push the existing clone design to resemble an specific Italian man instead of a specific Māori man. The 23&Me came back, and Hunter inherited more than the bandana from Sylvester.

Crosshair

The long narrow nose, the sharp cheekbones, the scowl. That’s no clone, that’s just animated Clint Eastwood. Not even Young and Hot Clint Eastwood from Rawhide 1959-1965. With that hair, I’m talking Gran Torino 2008. The man of few words schtick and family friendly toothpick in lieu of cigar are pure Eastwood as The Man With No Name from Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns A Fist Full of Dollars 1964, For a Few Dollars More 1965, and The Good the Bad and the Ugly 1966.

In a way, this is full circle because the actor Jeremy Bulloch took inspiration from Clint Eastwood for his performance as Boba Fett in ESB.

Wrecker

In an interview Filoni lists the Hulk as an (obvious) inspiration for Wrecker. Ever seen the old Hulk tv show from 1978? Well take a look at the actor who played him, Lou Ferrigno. Would you look at that. Even has his papa’s nose.

You could make the argument that Wrecker was influenced by The Rock, an appropriately buff ‘n bald Polynesian (Samoan, not Maori) man. But look at him next his Fast and Furious costar Vin Diesel and tell me which one resembles Wrecker’s character model more.

Tech

Tech is a little trickier for me to place. If he has a more direct inspiration it must be something I haven’t seen. That said, his hairline is very Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard 1988. His quippiness and large glasses remind me of Shane Black as Hawkins from Predator 1987. In terms of his face, he looks a but like the result of McClane and Hawkins deciding to settle down and start a family. Although, Tech’s biggest contributors are probably just everyone on TV Trope’s list for Smart People Wear Glasses.

And finally,

Echo

Oh Echo. Considering he wasn’t created for the Bad Batch, he probably wasn’t based on a particular character or movie. But if I had to guess, his situation and appearance remind me a lot of Alex Murphy played by Peter Weller in Robocop 1987. However, Robocop explored the Man or Machine Identity Crisis with more nuance, depth, and dignity. Yikes.

The exact tropes and references used in The Bad Batch have been done successfully with characters who aren’t even human. Gizmo from Gremlins 2: The New Batch 1990 had a brief stint with the Rambo bandana. I could have picked any number of characters for Defining Feature Is Glasses but here is the most cursed version of Simon of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Suffer as I have. Marc Antony with his beloved Pussyfoot from Looney Tunes has the same tough guy with a soft center vibe as Wrecker and his Lula (also a kind of cat). Hell, in the same show we have Cad Bane sharing Cowboy Clint Eastwood with Crosshair. I actually think Bane makes a better Eastwood which is wild considering Crosshair has Eastwood’s entire face and Bane is blue.

So we’ve established you don’t need your characters to look exactly like their inspirations to match their vibe. So why go through the trouble and cost of creating completely new character designs instead of recycling and altering assets they already had on hand? Just slap on a bandana, toothpick, goggles, and make Wrecker bigger than the others while he does a Hulk pose and you’re done. Based on the general reaction to Howzer it would have been a low effort slam dunk crowd pleaser.

But they didn’t do that.

So here’s the thing. I like the tropes used in The Bad Batch. I am a fan of action adventure movies from the 80s-90s, the sillier the better. I am part of the Bad Batch’s target audience. Considering what I know about Disney and Lucasfilm, I went in with low expectations. I genuinely don’t hate the idea of seeing references to these actors and media in The Bad Batch. I don’t think basing these characters on tropes was a bad idea. If anything it’s a solid starting point for building the characters.

The trouble is nothing got built on the foundation. The plot is directionless, the pacing is wacky, and the characters have nearly no emotional depth or defining character arcs. They just sort of exist without reacting much while the story happens around them. But I can excuse all of that. You don’t stay a fan of Star Wars as long as I have not being able to cherrypick and fill in the gaps. This show has a deeper issue that shouldn’t be ignored.

Why do the animated clones bear at best only a passing resemblance to their live action actor? In interviews, Filoni wouldn’t shut up but the technological advancements in the animation for season 7. So if they are updating things, why not try to make the clones a closer match to their source material? Why did they have to look like completely different people in The Bad Batch to be “unique”? Looking like Temeura Morrison would have no bearing on their special abilities and TCW proved you can have identical looking characters and still have them be distinct. In fact, that’s a powerful theme and the source of tragedy for the clones’ narrative overall.

Here’s Filoni’s early concept art of Crosshair, Wrecker, Tech, and Hunter. (Interesting but irrelevant: Wrecker seems to have a cog tattoo similar to Jesse’s instead of a scar. Wouldn’t it have been funny if they kept that so when they met in season 7 one if them could say something like “Hey we’re twins!” That’s a little clone humor. Just for you guys 😘)

None of these drawings look like the clones in TCW, much less Temeura Morrison. Let’s be generous. Maybe Filoni struggles with drawing a real person’s likeness, as many people do. But he had to hand this off to other artists down the line whose job specifically involves making a stylized character resemble their actor. Yet the final designs missed the mark almost as much as this initial concept. Starting to seem as if the clones looking more like Temeura Morrison was never even on the table. It wasn’t a lack of creativity, skill or technical limitations on the part of the creative team. I don’t think there is an innocent explanation. They went out of their way to make the final product exactly how we got it.

This goes beyond homage. They could have made the same pop culture references and character tropes without completely stripping Temeura Morrison from the role he originated. It was a very purposeful choice to replace him with more immediately familiar actors from established franchises and films. It wouldn’t shock me if Filoni, Lucas, and anyone else calling the shots didn’t even think hard or care enough about the decision to immediately recognize a problem. And I don’t think they believed anyone else would either. At least no one whose opinion they cared about. Those faces are comfortingly familiar and proven bankable. They are what we’re all used to seeing after all. They’re white.

Lack of imagination, bad intentions, or simple ignorance doesn’t really matter in the end. The result is the same. Call it what it is. They replaced a man of color with a bunch of white guys. That’s by the book garden variety run of the mill whitewashing. There’s no debate worth having about it. For a fanbase that loves to nitpick things like whether or not it’s in character for Han to shoot first or Jeans Guy in the Mandalorian, we sure are quick to find excuses for clones who look nothing like their template. Why is that? If you don’t see the problem, congratulations. Your ass is showing. Pull your jeans up.

[panlight]

How do you think the saga would be different if every character (aside from 3 'bitches' 😒) wasn't written to immediately love and adore Bella?

I'd like to think Esme would be one of those 'no girl will ever be good enough for my son' mothers lol.

I think I would have liked Bella better, for one.

I don't know what it is about me, but I NEVER put myself in the main character's shoes. I don't know why. It's just not how I read or consume media. The main character, in my head, is just one of many characters and not my proxy, so books like Twilight that are, per word of the author, kind of designed with the main character as the reader proxy, a vessel through which the reader can experience the world, just don't work for me. I know I'm supposed to be thrilled by the attention Bella/I get from Edward, to be thrilled to be loved and welcomed by this rich, beautiful family; to be included in this group of boisterous, warm friends in La Push; to have this amazing perfect daughter I don't even have to raise; to get to be the best vampire ever.

But I don't read books that way, so the whole time I'm just like WHY is everyone bending over backwards for this girl? Why is everyone in love with her? Who IS she? I wasn't filling her in with my own personality and interests, I was waiting for her to be fleshed out (it took Midnight Sun for that to happen).

It just didn't feel realistic to me that everyone was 100% on board with Bella and protecting her and it was all no big deal and of course we'll do it, sweetie, and if they didn't, they were BAD. Rosalie is a monster for wondering if it's worth risking the whole family for this girl Edward has been dating for like two minutes. The wolves consistently show up for Bella when this is absolutely not their fight/not their problem and none of them have a problem with this apparently except Leah, who is framed as a 'bitter harpy.' Everyone at school wants to be besties with Bella the shiny new toy except for Lauren who, again, super bitch, apparently. Bella makes like zero effort to be friends with any of these human kids but they all still consider her a friend in Breaking Dawn and she just cuts them all out of her life and never thinks of or mentions them again; in New Moon, Jessica is ABSOLUTELY within her rights to cut off contact with Bella after that stunt at the movies where Bella approached that group of sketchy guys.

Alice is just like "yeah it must be hard to choose between Edward and Jacob!" like Edward isn't her brother and will be miserable for eternity if Bella picks the other guy. How on earth can Alice be neutral here and not be like "You're like a sister to me, but if you break my brother's heart I will never forgive you." It's so weird! The Cullens are apparently just not bothered at all by whatever she has going on with Jacob, none of them are skeptical or worried for Edward's sake that she's going to dump him? They're just 100% totally supportive?

Likewise the wolf pack is still willing to include her with things and be friends with her when she keeps choosing actual vampires over them? Why? Jacob didn't imprint on her. They aren't forced to hang out with her for Jacob's sake. I get their mission is to protect humans, but it seems more like Protect Bella than anything.

Leah shows up and yells at Bella for being selfish about Jacob, keeping him around when she knows it hurts him, and we're supposed to be mad at Leah for yelling at a pregnant lady rather than accept that maybe Leah has a point?

The idea that Esme might not think Bella is "good enough" for Edward is such a fun one. Rather than just "you are already a beloved daughter to me! Let me tell you my sad story and then we'll never meaningfully speak again!" maybe she's like "She seems nice Edward but Tanya can match you intellectually and musically and isn't a fragile human high school girl." Maybe Jasper is more vocally opposed to her presence like "I can't relax in my own home with this human girl around because I have to constantly fight the urge to kill her, maybe spend time with her somewhere else, Edward? Just because you seem to get off on torturing yourself needlessly doesn't mean the rest of us do."

Maybe Emmett is more on Rosalie's side? Not mean to Bella or anything but like "Rose ain't wrong about having this human around constantly putting us in danger, Eddie. I know you like her, but what about the rest of us? Is Ma or Pops or me getting killed by some nomads or wolves or the Volturi so you can stare dreamily at this girl really worth it?"

But none of these characters are allowed to experess anything like that because the fantasy IS that Bella is loved and accepted and instantly brought into this family, no questions asked (except Rosalie, whom no one seems to like).

It would help balance things more. And in a paradoxical way it would make Bella more likeable to me because there wouldn't be this weird bubble of protection and adoration around her. She'd feel more like a real person, a real character, when everyone else's "goodness" isn't dependent on whether they are Team Bella or not.

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here!

Donate to Higher Ground HERE!

Song for this Chapter - (X) 

A/N: Posted a day early because a few people asked me to, I think y’all are going to like this chapter :)

* “So what’s your pick (Y/N/N)?”

* You turn to your right, seeing Tyler’s grinning face.

* “Pick for what?” You take another modest sip from your glass.

* Conner’s throwing a party at his house since his parents will be gone all weekend.

* Half the school must be here, his house is almost as big as the Cullen’s

* Tyler exchanges a look with Conner and Mike and grins.

* The three of you and Angela are sitting in his Dad’s study, drinking his finest brandy

* You’ve just been taking very small polite sips to throw off any suspicions

* The upside to being a vampire: you can’t taste anything other than blood so the alcohol just tastes like water

* The downside: you stay drunk until you force yourself to throw it up

* “F*ck, Marry, Kill: me, Conner, and Mike.”

* You wrinkle your nose and Angela laughs

* “Gross questions like that are why I don’t sit with you guys at lunch anymore.” The others laugh and you take a sip of you drink as Tyler grins

* “It’s a game, everyone’s gone except you”

* Have they? You’ve been pretty tuned out, Jessica and Bella left to go to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago.

* To add, you haven’t seen either Edward, Emmett, or Rosalie since you all came together in the jeep.

* Things are still...different between you and Edward

* He’s not outwardly hostile towards you or anything but...

* He doesn’t smile at you anymore

* Not like he used to, with that carefree boyish grin

* Just thinking about it gets you down

* You were fairly surprised when he said he would come with you, Rosalie and Emmett to Conner’s party.

* You were less surprised when he basically abandoned you as soon as you got into the house

* You’ve been trying to see if you can hear any of your friends in the house but you haven’t been able to distinguish any voices yet

* You sigh, holding your drink out to Mike

* “Marry,” the bright grin on his face almost makes you feel bad.

* “Kill, kill” your drink sways as you point to Tyler and Conner.

* Another roar of laughter

* “Hey that’s not fair, you can’t kill both of us!” Tyler protests, you roll your eyes moving to stand

* “Fine F*ck Conner, kill Tyler. Angela you wanna come with I’m going to the bathroom”

* You want to go see what’s holding Jessica and Bella up, but you don’t want to leave Angela alone with three boys.

* Mike’s here, and nothing would probably happen, Conner and Tyler are flirts but you like to think they wouldn’t do anything like that.

* Still you don’t want to risk it.

* She nods, gulping down the rest of her drink. Following you out.

* “Did you hear that?! They said they would f*ck me!” You hear Conner shout triumphantly after you’ve closed the door

* “Yeah but they said that they would kill you first, doesn’t count” Mike says, you hear the clink of ice as you assume he pours another drink

* “Oh getting arrogant just because they said they would marry you huh?”

* “Bet he wishes it was Bella who said she would marry him.”

* You roll your eyes holding out your hand to Angela

* “So we don’t get lost.” She smiles as she takes it. You have to practically slither through the crowd

* Conner’s house is needlessly complicated. Hallways that don’t lead anywhere and so many closets.

* The O’Malleys really should have hired Esme to design their house

* “Ah, there they are!” You see Jessica and Bella leaning against the railing of the second floor. It looks like they’re talking to someone-

* Oh it’s Edward

* Jessica notices you and works her way over to you

* But your eyes are glued to Edward and Bella, they haven’t even noticed you yet. Or that Jessica left them.

* Bella’s eyes are twinkling as she looks up at him, her cheeks are tinged pink, and Edward-

* He’s got a sparkle in his eye, his mouth quirked in that boyish lopsided grin.

* So that smile is really just for her now

* They really do look good together

* “Hey what’s wrong?” You didn’t even notice Jessica was standing in front of you.

* Are you crying right now? No of course not, you can’t cry.

* “Nothing! We were looking for you and Lauren. Mike and Tyler are playing this game that I think you two would be very into” you give her a sly wink and she blushes

* “I thought we came to go to the bathroom.” Oh sh*t you did use that as your excuse.

* “Well I didn’t wanna be obvious yknow?” You say to Angela, catching another glimpse of Bella and Edward behind her, looks like she’s laughing at something he said. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

* You turn your attention back to Angela who’s nodding.

* “Jessica why don’t you show her where it is, you just went right?” Jessica’s eyebrows thread together

* “Yeah I did but-“ she doesn’t want to leave you alone. Before you can reassure her you’ll be fine you feel someone throw their arms around you

* For a second your heart skips a beat.

* Edward?

* “Oh my god babes you look so cute, we have to take a picture together!”

* Oh it’s just Lauren

* Wait why are you disappointed? This is perfect.

* “Of course I was just looking for you!” You nod to Jessica and Angela. “We’ll meet you both back at Conner’s dad’s home office.”

* Jessica gives you a reluctant look but nods, leading Angela into the crowd.

* You take one last glance at Edward and Bella, from here he almost looks human.

* This is the way things are supposed to be.

* “Hey Lauren, wanna do some shots?”

* Lauren has her faults, but she’s always down for anything you might suggest. It’s kind of weird, but she reminds you a little of Alec.

* So you’re a little impressed when she finds a several bottles of vodka hidden in a various books.

* “Conner’s mom has a drinking problem, shhhhh don’t tell anyone”

* Yeah you kinda figured

* “We brought vodka!!” She shouts when she enters the study earning cheers from the rest of the boys.

* Looks like Jessica and Angela aren’t back yet.

* Lauren stole your spot on the armchair so she could flirt with Tyler. You sigh sitting carefully on top of the desk.

* “You leave with one girl and come back with another, how do you do it?” Conner’s got a devilish grin as he leans in to ask you.

* You drink straight from the bottle.

* You’re going to play a drinking game, anytime any of these boys try’s to flirt with you you take a drink.

* “I’m really hot.” You say bluntly

* Conner and Mike laugh

* “Yeah-I mean, yeah you definitely are.” Mike stutters

* If you were human you would probably be nervous by this situation, you’re basically sitting on the desk between Mike and Conner. Mike is on the end of the sofa, and Conner is sitting next to you in the office chair.

* But now that you’re a vampire, you could kill both of these boys with a simple flick of your wrist

* “So what’s going on between you and Cullen really?” Mike asks and you remember the look on Edward’s face when he was talking to Bella.

* “Nothing, we’re just friends” even less than that at this point. You’re just someone who lives in his house

* you’re worried they’re going to press further on the issue and all the emotions you’ve kept sealed away will come out overflowing.

* But they don’t, maybe Conner senses somethings happened because instead he says:

* “So you would f*ck me huh?” You laugh

* “Oh my god are you still stuck on that?”

* “And you said you would marry me?” Mike is grinning so wide he’s actually grinning.

* “You guys are ridiculous.” You’re laughing so hard you cover your mouth.

* “Alright, out of the entire friend group, f*ck, marry, kill, who are your picks?” Conner leans a bit closer, you wonder if he’s been eating healthier lately, he doesn’t smell nearly as bad as he used to.

* It’s still pretty bad, but now there’s a sweeter herbal undertone

* “Hmmm you guys go first I have to think” you lightly shove Conner by the shoulder and he actually rolls back a bit.

* “Alright hmmm-“ he rubs his chin in mock thought “well marry you of course-“

* “Of course” you nod taking another swig of Vodka

* “F*ck Mike”

* “What?” Mike is genuinely flustered and you grin

* “It’s that golden retriever vibe he gives off right?” You say and Conner nods

* “Exactly! Also he looks like a good cuddler.”

* “Definitely a little spoon”

* “Definitely”

* Mike looks like he’s going to combust from the attention from how red his face is.

* “Kill.... I guess kill Edward, the less competition the better” Conner gives you a meaningful look

* Well you don’t know how to feel about that so you just take another swig of Vodka. The more you drink the easier it’ll come out later right?

* “Your turn Mike.”

* “Marry Bella-“

* “Of course” you and Conner say in unison, clinking your bottle to his glass after you do.

* “Fuck you, kill Edward”

* “Damn no love for Edward at all huh?” You say with a gasp of surprise.

* You’re a little annoyed he didn’t pick Jessica.

* You like Bella and all, and her shy bookworm thing is kinda cute, but Jessica is clearly the superior choice.

* “Don’t deflect now that it’s your turn.” Conner lightly bumps your knee against yours

* Wait when did he move from the chair and sit beside you on the desk?

* You roll your eyes and take another swig of vodka

* “Marry Jessica,” they both sputter at that, Conner actually spits out his drink mid gulp.

* Ew Gross.

* “Fuck Conner, Kill Mike.”

* Conner does a fist pump and Mike looks genuinely hurt.

* “I’m sorry Mike but it’s either marriage or kill, there’s no in between.”

* Mike pouts, before sitting up straighter

* “I bet I’m a better kisser than Conner.”

* You take a long drink of Vodka

* “No way dude, you and I both used to date Lauren and I don’t think she would have dated me again after you if you were a better kisser”

* “That was in middle school! I had braces back then!”

* “Yeah, that’s why you’re so bad at kissing.” Conner says matter of factly taking a sip of his Dad’s brandy straight from the decanter

* “No, I had to lea-“

* “Oh my god would you both shut up?” You shout and let out a huff of annoyance before reaching out and grabbing Mike by the collar of his shirt, tugging him forward

* Your lips meet his briefly, your eyes are closed, and his are open. He adjust to the situation quickly, cupping your cheek and tilting his head slightly

* Not bad

* You break away, turning to Conner, he’s a bit more ready than Mike. He cups your face with both hands, mouth parting slightly as one of his hands slides into your hair.

* You break away sweetly, with one last peck.

* “Conner’s better” you say the bottle of vodka already on your lips. Conner’s laughing while Mike protests.

* “What-no, I wasn’t ready, I want another chance!” You roll your eyes as he looks at you expectantly

* “Fin-“ he breaks you off with his lips, this time is better than the last. He’s standing, and the angle adds to the technique, his hand is on the back your neck, tilting your chin up with the other

* Oh wow.

* You’re a little dazzled when you break apart. Jessica is one lucky girl.

* “Wait if he gets another chance I want one too.” Conner protests, you just nod dumbly.

* That was a really good kiss. You feel all warm and fuzzy.

* Before you can think Conner wraps an arm around your waist tugging you close, he dips you back before kissing you. You open your mouth from the surprise and he takes the opportunity to sweep his tongue in.

* You’re seeing stars, and then abruptly you’re yanked by the shoulder.

* Oh does Mike want another turn?

* Without even opening your eyes you kiss the person who pulled on your shoulder.

* These lips feel different then Mike’s, almost-sticky? Or is it slippery? They smell different too like boiled broccoli-

* Oh shit

* You hesitantly open your eyes, only to see a very shocked Jessica

* “Oh my god” you pull back quickly, cupping your hand over your mouth so you don’t kiss anyone else by accident “I’m so sorry Jess- I didn’t-“

* Before you can finish someone tugs your arm, you vaguely understand what’s happening, one of your arms grasped by a very strong hand and your other carrying a bottle of vodka.

* It’s Edward, you recognize the blue collared shirt he’s wearing, you bought him that shirt last year for his birthday.

* “E-Edward? Wait where-“ you turn to the side to see Jessica who’s standing very still, your eyes briefly meet Bella’s and they flash with-hurt?

* What did you kiss her too when you weren’t paying attention?

* “H-hey Edward that hurts!” If he heard you he doesn’t seem to care, dragging you through the party and through the cluster of people all along the front yard

* You’re vaguely aware of the stares your way. You both must look pretty weird, or at least like a couple of kids dying to f*ck

* All you can see when you look straight forward is Edward’s back. His broad shoulders and the slender curve of his back.

* For some reason, the safest place you can imagine is the middle of Edward’s back. You bet it’s so warm and safe to be nestled there.

* You bet it’s the place Bella feels the most safe in

* A prickle of irritation burns in you. And in your impatience when Edward starts to slow you wrap your arms around his waist-

* “(Y/N), what are you-“ He grumbles, but you don’t pay it any mind, you nestle your head in his back, right below the spot between his shoulder blades. Breathing his scent in deeply.

* Edward always smells so good, like Argon oil and Rosemary

* You feel him sigh, his hand resting over yours that are intertwined on his stomach

* You stay like that for a moment, you’re not sure how long, it might have been hours

* But it feels too soon when Edward pulls away from you.

* The whine of protest that’s building in the back of your throat dies when you see his face

* “Hey, what’s wrong, why are you upset?” A hand lifts to cradle Edward’s face. His mouth is pinched into a frown and his eyes... they look so sad

* Your compassion only seems to irritate him further because he shakes your hand off of his face

* You’re a little hurt, and very confused

* “What were you doing in there?” You can tell from the way his voice trembles he’s barely contains his anger

* “We were playing a game” you say in a small voice. Edward gives out a bitter laugh

* “And what game was that, spin the bottle?”

* “Who’s the better kisser actually” you mumble, looking down at your shoes feeling a little embarrassed

* “You can’t even imagine the vile thoughts they were-“ he cuts himself off, averting his gaze from you

* You feel like a bucket of cold water got dumped on you

* They’re your friends. You were just having a good time. It was all just harmless fun wasn’t it?

* oh god you kissed Jessica! Jessica your best friend.

* How are supposed to face her now

* “Have you been drinking?” He asks, tugging the bottle hanging limply from between your fingers.

* It’s almost empty, less than a quarter left.

* “H-hey I didn’t drink all of that, Lauren drank quite a bit too, and I’m pretty sure it was already half empty when we got it.” Edward raises an eyebrow and you avert your eyes. You’ve going through too much to handle facing him head on.

* “(Y/N), what’s going on, this isn’t like you” He let’s out a long sigh.

* Why did you drink so much?

* Maybe if he wasn’t so wrapped up in that human he would realize-

* Realize what? Where was that sentence going?

* You remember seeing Edward and Bella talk, the smile he gave her-

* No you can’t think about that right now

* “Nothing’s going on,” he looks at you skeptically and you look back to the ground “I just-I just want you to be happy Eddie.”

* He scoffs

* “You have a funny way of showing it.” He’s about to move back but your hand reaches out to stop him, resting on his forearm

* “No I really want you to be happy Edward, and I see the way you look at her-“

* “What?”

* “And I want you to know that it’s okay!” Your eyes stay fixed on his chest, the pocket of his shirt. “I know everyone around us, including Carlisle, have been hoping we would end up together, but don’t worry about that. You can say it was me if you need to, and-“

* He stops you by placing both of his hand on your face, your eyes meeting his.

* “What are you talking about?”

* This time you’re the one that scoffs

* “Bella of course,” he lets out some noise of disbelief, a mix of a scoff and a snicker

* “Bella? You think I love Bella?” He’s laughing at you! The criminal is laughing at you!

* “Im not stupid Edward!”

* “When have I ever said I have feelings for Bella?”

* “You don’t have to! I see the way you look at her! Like just now-when you were up by the stairwell, you looked at her like she was the only person in the room.”

* He doesn’t scoff now and he averts his eyes. You feel your heart sink a little.

* It’s okay, this is for the best.

* Bella’s going to give him everything he wants.

* Even a baby.

* You can’t give him that.

* “Oh my god Bella! She probably has the totally wrong idea! We have to go back, we have to-“ you’re already moving when you feel Edward grasp your arm, holding you back.

* Your eyebrows thread together in confusion

* “Edward what are you doing? We have to-“

* “I don’t love Bella” he interrupts.

* You’re confused, and then you’re angry.

* Is he lying to you? Straight to your face after you’ve already told him you know everything? Why even bother? What is he trying to save his pride or something, because you’re 100% sure that Bella’s feeling it just as much as he is

* “You don’t need to lie to me Edward-“

* “I’m not lying!” He tugs you closer, the bottle of vodka falling to the ground with a clang.

* You’re caged in his arms, each of his hands is holding your by the elbow. His gold eyes look straight into yours

* “There’s only one person I’ve ever loved,” a gentle smile curls onto his mouth. “They’re impossibly stubborn, when they get an idea in their mind. And they have no sense of self preservation whatsoever.”

* This sounds like Bella. Is this a trick or something?

* His eyes get warm as he looks down at you, his lips twitching as his smile widens

* “But they’re also very compassionate, they’re someone with endless amounts of hope, and everything around them is so-different- so fun! They make me feel....”

* he’s been inching closer this entire time, your chest is practically pressed against his.

* “Human” he finishes with a grin

* His forehead presses against yours and you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach.

* “I’m in love with you, (Y/N), it’s always been you.”

* Before you have time to process the bombshell Edward just dropped on you, Edward moves an inch closer and places his lips over your own.

* Your eyes are open at first, mostly from shock, but they drift close when Edward’s hand trails down the edge of you face, resting on your cheek.

* His kiss is so different from Mike and Conner’s kisses.

* Their kiss had been passionate, almost possessive.

* But Edward’s kiss- his kiss makes you feel safe.

* His hand rests on the small of your back, the other lightly touches the side of your face.

* It’s firm, but you know if you didn’t like his touch, if you wanted it to stop, you could end it anytime.

* He’s leaving you an escape

* He’s still your Edward, Your kind, considerate Edward.

* If you were human tears would prickle the corner of your eyes.

* Instead you stand on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him in even closer.

* You’re seeing stars when he finally pulls away, and in your daze you actually follow him, stealing one last peck.

* You stand tall, looking straight into his eyes, he’s got the biggest goofiest grin you’ve ever seen

* Even goofier than the one he had when you said you would move with him to Forks.

* “Um, so how was I compared to Mike and Connor?”

* You roll your eyes, he’s still trying to lighten the mood with dumb jokes

* You doubt he needs you to answer. He knows you loved it. He’s so happy he’s glowing. You feel almost feel dizzy looking at him.

* And there’s a million things you want to say to him, but you don’t say any of them.

* Instead you lean over and puke all over his shoes.

* “That bad huh?”

BONUS:

* “Was it just me, or were they like really cold?” Mike asks, his lips still feel a little numb

* “Yeah, but I kind of liked it, it’s like ice play.” Conner grins, and then spares a glance to his friend “How you doing over there Jess thinking of coming down anytime soon?”

* Jessica’s got the widest goofiest grin on her face, her fingers trailing her lips every so often.

* Bella sits beside her with her mouth pinched into a frown

* “It’s always the blonde’s that have all the fun” She mumbles

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom​

[solinarimoon]

Fields of Wildflowers

Chapter 15

A Sihtric x OC story

AN: Well loves, this is the final chapter for this story.  Depending on how season 5 of the show goes, I may do more and I may do one-shots for Cwen and Sihtric later too.  I am honestly incredibly proud of myself for finishing my very first multi-chapter story.  And I am beyond thankful for each and every one of you who thought it was worth your time to read.  Thank you!  From the bottom of my Dane loving heart.  I have more stories planned featuring our favorite cinnamon role Dane and some new OCs so be on the lookout!  The moodboards provided by the lovely @serasvictoria

Warnings: Smut.  Smut with feelings.  (So this also counts as my outdoors entry for @tlkfanficfest bingo axe card)

Word Count: 3877

Fields of Wildflowers Masterlist

My Full Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hild found Cwen some old novice robes that fit comfortably enough.  The abbess then cleaned Cwen’s face and put a soothing poultice on some of the deeper scrapes and bruises before sending her off to bed.

The room was plain, holding only a bed and a small table.  And there was a lingering aroma of some floral fragrance Cwen couldn’t place.  She laid down and was asleep within a matter of minutes.

When she awoke, it was with a start to find an arm weightily draped across her waist.

Turning from her side to lay on her back, Cwen saw Sihtric dozing soundly next to her.

He had found a moment to clean the grime and gore from his face and body, she noticed as she took in his features.  His armor and tunic lay discarded by the door to the room and Cwen took a moment to take in his resting form.  The line of his jaw and the length of his neck.  His shoulder, rounded and firm, with long muscles leading along the arm hooked around her waist.  She felt the heat radiating off his bare chest.

In his sleep, the warrior’s face was relaxed and his breathing even and shallow.  His mouth hung slightly open, a quiet snore escaping him every few breaths.

Cwen raised a hand to brush the hair from his forehead and trace the lines along his brow.

She smiled when she felt him stir under her touch.  Without opening his eyes, he reached a hand up to grasp her own and bring her palm to his lips.

“I am glad you took my advice and rested,” he hummed against her palm before pulling her body closer into his embrace.

“Is there peace?” she questioned after nuzzling against his neck and trailing her fingers along his collarbone.

“For now, it seems.”

“Tell me.” Cwen asked, sleep still clouding her voice.

Sihtric rolled onto his back, sliding his arm to rest under Cwen’s neck as she nestled into his side.

“They’ve given Sigtryggr Eofiwich.  And he promises to remain peaceful and in alliance with Wessex and Mercia.” Sihtric paused, running his fingers gently through Cwen’s long hair.  Hild had also spent time using a brush and comb to work through the knots and tangles that had accumulated during the siege.

“That can’t be all though,” Cwen asked while turning her face up to meet his, “What about Stiorra?”

Cwen felt as a rumble passed through Sihtric’s chest as he laughed.  

“And what about Stiorra?” 

Cwen propped herself up on to her arm, her mirthful smile mirroring his.

“Is she part of the bargain?” 

“Why would she be?” Sihtric’s eyes glittered mischievously.

“Because they have fallen for one another.  Stiorra and Sigtryggr.” Cwen’s words were sure and matter of fact.

Sihtric moved to place a strand of hair that had fallen across Cwen’s face before he asked, “Now what would make you say that?”

Sighing, Cwen laid herself back down and nestled into his side.  Her fingers absent-mindedly finding the hammer amulet draped across his chest.  Tracing the intricate designs.

“Well I don’t know exactly.  I have never even seen them in the same room together,” and her words were interrupted by a scoff from Sihtric.  She hushed him playfully before continuing, “but it is in the way they speak about each other.  As if he truly sees her.  And she, him.”

Here she paused, her hand stopping it’s fidgeting with the hammer.  She took a breath then continued, vulnerability lacing her words, “It is not much different from the way I believe you see me.  From the way you have watched me and seen me since the fields of Saltwich.  You see me and know me.  The true me.  And that is love.  To have someone see through you to your soul.  Or your spirit, your essence.  Whatever term you wish to give it.  When a person can see your rough edges, the parts that are broken, the fragile things…” her fingers began fiddling with the pendant once more, nervous as she continued, “a person who can see that in another and appreciate it, accept it.  That is love.  That is what will help someone to heal.  Find peace.  Happiness.  I see who you are and you see me for who I am.  I see that mirrored in the way Stiorra and Sigtryggr speak about one another.” 

Cwen’s voice got quieter as she stopped her rambling. Her fingers continued to place their anxious energy into toying with the necklace until she felt his strong hand wrap around her own, stopping her movements.  He moved to place his knuckles below her chin, tilting her head up so he could catch her eyes.

“What have I done in my life to deserve you, my lady?”

Now it was Cwen’s turn to scoff at his use of the term lady once more before he continued, interrupting her.

“It is true.  I have been blessed by the gods and I do not know why.  I am nothing but a bastard son who has killed more men than I can count. Many who were probably good men.”

Cwen stared into his face as he spoke.  She watched as his brows stitched together and the line of his jaw flexed.  His eyes growing distant and clouded.

“Then you do not see what I see, Sihtric.” Her hand rose from his chest to caress his neck, fingers smoothing themselves through the curls of his hair, coaxing his eyes back from whatever unfocused horrors he was imagining, back to her.

“You are a man, devoted and loyal.  I see your heart.  A heart that is fierce and passionate, but also kind and warm.  It is gentle when time or place calls for it. I see that in how you are with the children and with me. You have shown me time and time over that the quality of your heart is pure.  It is all those things that make who you are.  A warrior. A heathen but not a barbarian as some Christians would paint you. These are the reasons you follow Lord Uhtred.  These are the reasons you fight.  And they are good qualities.”

Cwen watched while he listened to her words. The lines of his face eased and the whites of his eyes glistened more brightly. The lovers brought their lips together, the language of a whispered kiss speaking more deeply than either could with words. 

A subtle cough from the doorway broke them apart. 

Hild stood, a kind smirk on her face. 

“I would remind you that you are still in a church, Sihtric. And even though you are heathen I will have you respect this home of my God.”

Cwen rolled over, burying her face in her hands and stifling anxious giggles while she heard Sihtric apologize and then the rustle of Hild’s robes as she moved away from the door. 

But Hild called over her shoulder to them before she had made it out of earshot, “Uhtred is looking for you. King Edward has spoken with him.”

“Tell my lord I am on my way.”

They heard Hild laugh before she replied, “He wishes to speak with Cwen.”

The pair glanced at each other, confusion on both of their faces. Slowly, they moved to sit up and make ready themselves. 

“But Sihtric, you haven’t answered me!” Cwen exclaimed. 

When he looked askance at her as he did the laces up on his tunic, she continued, “Stiorra? Is she leaving for Eofowich?”

Sihtric smirks without raising his eyes again to meet hers, instead focusing on his lacing. 

“Well?” Cwen moved to help him secure the armour and interrupt his avoidance.

“She will be going as a hostage,” he replied. But the mirth behind his eyes showed his agreement with her notion that it was not a hostage arrangement. 

“Lord Uhtred must be furious,” Cwen mused. 

“He was quite, yes.”

Sihtric turned to grab his bracers off the floor and Cwen took them from him, sliding them onto each of his forearms in turn. 

“So what does he need with me, I wonder?” 

Sihtric shrugged his shoulders and shook his head as they walked out of the door to find Uhtred.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The king has charged me with the care of Aethelstan.”

Uhtred and Cwen were standing underneath the arches leading to the inner courtyard of the church.

Hild was walking with Eadith to stretch and warm some of her muscles, while an anxious Finan looked on.  He was clearly only half listening to whatever Osfeth and Sihtric were discussing.  It made Cwen smile, before turning her attention back to Uhtred.

“With care for Aethelstan?  But Lady Aelswith had been planning to do that?” 

Uhtred sighed, “Plans have changed.  Apparently Lady Aelswith is in poor health after the siege.  And Edward wants Aethelstan removed from Winchester.  It will be safer for the boy.”

“Aelswith offered me a place in her household caring for him before we left Mercia. I turned her down but not because I don’t want to help Aethelstan. Did you wish to speak with me to ask for my help?” 

Uhtred chuckled dryly and looked down at his boots, scuffing the dusty dirt. 

“It is no secret, I am…,” he trailed off before clearing his throat and starting again, “I will be able to teach him the shield wall and battle tactics. And other life lessons but I am lacking in many skills when it comes to raising a child.  I would ask you for help, yes.”

“And you will have it.” Cwen smiled, her words sincere and happy. 

It was at that moment that Sihtric approached, wrapping his arm around Cwen’s waist and drawing her close to him as she leaned back into his embrace. 

“You have chosen a good woman, Sihtric.” Uhtred clapped his friend on his shoulder. 

“I have, indeed,” Sihtric paused, pressing a kiss against Cwen’s hairline making her grin despite herself. 

“But may I have a word alone, Lord?” 

Cwen glanced between the two men before excusing herself to go check in on Eadith and Hild.

After joining the two women, Cwen continued to glance back to where Sihtric stood speaking with Uhtred.  The two men stood close together while Sihtric spoke, but his words did not travel and Cwen did not know what they discussed.

After only a few moments, she saw Uhtred embrace Sihtric and the two clapped each other on the back before breaking apart and Sihtric turned to walk to Finan and Osferth, who were standing in the path that Hild was guiding them along. Sihtric beamed at her as they approached, his smile filled with adoration. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After eating a light lunch with everyone, Sihtric excused himself and asked Cwen to join him.  He led her to the edge of Winchester and outside the walls.  The Saxon camp of King Edward was still scattered across the surrounding field, but the couple walked beyond the scattered tents and cookfires.  Here and there, men were mulling about, collecting their things, preparing to return to their homes.

“Where are you taking me, Sihtric,” Cwen looped her arm through his and leaned herself against him as they strolled.

She smiled when she felt his breath on her ear as he leaned close, “Do you remember the last time you asked me that question?”

His voice was low, husky.

The implication sent shivers along Cwen’s spine.  Just as it had while riding in the fields outside of Aegelesburg, she felt her body stir.  

They stayed quiet as they walked, both feeling the rising thrill in their energy.

Cwen tried to keep her breathing steady while her heart began beating steadily faster and faster.  The feel of Sihtric’s movements against her as they walked gave her shivers, every place where his skin brushed hers leaving trails of gooseflesh.

Eventually, they moved off of the main road and began to cross onto hunting trails, through woods and fields.  It may have been along the route they had come to Winchester.  That seemed ages ago and had been in such haste, Cwen thought she would have no idea if she had been through this way before. And there was no way she could focus clearly on her surroundings with the anticipation of being with Sihtric again.

Finally, he stopped walking and Cwen took in their surroundings.

They were at the edge of a low lying glen, leading up to a small hill crested with trees.  The glen was carpeted with tiny white and violet-blue flowers, all migling together.  Cwen breathed deep, enjoying the musty aroma of the woods to their backs, earthy and solid.  She tried to slow her pounding heart.

“I told you I wished to cherish you, Cwen,” Sihtric pulled her body flush against his before cupping her face, “and I mean to do just that.”

His lips ghosted across hers before he moved to nip underneath her ear, his tongue languidly tasting her skin in between gentle kisses down her neck.

“Sihtric,” she moaned out his name, her hands grasping hungrily at his hips and pulling him even closer to her.

“I will never grow tired of hearing you moan my name,” he whispered against her collarbone.

His fingers found their way up from her waist to begin undoing the laces at her collar, before moving the fabric apart to reveal the skin of her chest.

Despite the heat of the late summer, his fingers left goosebumps dancing along the trails they made, slowly fanning their way over to caress one of her breasts.

Cwen sighed as his kisses continued along her neck and his fingers lightly pinched at her erect nipple. 

She could feel the swell in his trousers bulging against her hips and longed for more. 

Slowly, she reached her hand down from his hip to cup along his length. 

The groan her movements brought forth from him flushed Cwen with a sense of pride that she could cause him to make such noises. 

“Mmmm, woman,” he growled, “I planned to be making these noises come from you,” but Cwen interrupted him. 

“And what if I wish to show you how I cherish you too?”

Sihtric leaned back on his heels to stare at Cwen. Her shy smile and mischievous twinkle in her eyes.  

In an instant, his mouth was on hers. All sense of calm replaced by fire. 

Both sets of fingers fought to undo the buckles and ties holding cloth against skin. 

All the pain, all the terror over the past weeks. Separated by barriers and words. All of the emotions of the heart came crashing out against each other. 

Swiftly, Cwen slid her dress down from her shoulders to pool at her feet, leaving her chest bare and only a thin underskirt draped off of her curving hips.

Sihtric, breathing heavily,  stood back to admire her form, his fingers tracing the curve of her waist up to the slope of her breasts.  

While his hands roamed her body, Cwen undid the lacing holding his bracers and leathers on, removing them deftly.  

Smoothly, he lifted his arms and pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it in the grass by their feet, only to then drop to his knees, peppering kisses along her abdomen while his hands reached behind her to grasp and gently knead her bottom.

Cwen sucked in a breath as the feel of heat pooled deep in her core, mingled with a throbbing pull at her opening.  She wanted to feel him touch her there.

She ran her fingers along his head, nails scratching along his scalp, before he tilted his face up to hers to see the passion burning in her eyes.

“Come here, Cwen.”  His voice was deep and sensual, causing another thrill to ripple through her swollen womanhood.

She slid her body down to meet him, feeling his lips trailing up now, to find her nipple, sucking and flicking his tongue against the hard nub.  His hands bunched at her skirt, pulling it up around her as she lowered herself.

Once she was on her knees, he brought his face to hers, kissing her lips once more while growling, “Lay back for me.”

Cwen lowered herself back, while Sihtric’s body, hard and strong, loomed over her, sheltering her, enveloping her.

Again, he brought his lips to her skin, licking and sucking gently at the dips and shallows of her neck and shoulders.

She shuddered when his hands left the skirt, now rumpled around her waist to trail down her hip.  He had slowed their pace once more, gradually bringing his fingers to rub against her swollen center. Slow, short strokes followed by an even slower long stroke circling the moist opening of her slit.

She moaned and arched under his hands, yearning for more but relishing the feel of his hands on her.

Slowly, his kisses moved lower, back to her nipple, drawing circles around it before he continued even lower.

Cwen opened her eyes, when he sat up, removing his hand from her wetness.

Sihtric leaned back on his knees and shifted Cwen’s hips as she watched him eye her hungrily.

He began to lean down to her, his breath hot and heavy on her aching core.

“Sihtric, what are you,” but her words were replaced with a rasping moan as she felt his tongue on her. He trailed his tongue up from the dripping moisture of her slit to press and flick against the nub of her sex making her gasp outloud.

Sihtric looked up to meet her eye, now sucking at the nerves before he answered, “I am cherishing my woman, every part of her.”  And he then moved back to lap at her with the flat of his tongue.

Licking her lips, Cwen felt as her hips unconsciously rose to meet his actions, continuing the slow rhythm his fingers had started.  Slow and small strokes followed by a longer stroke, the pressure always building then pulling back as he pulled her to the edge.

When he brought his fingers to her opening and slowly pushed one then another inside, Cwen felt herself arch and moan his name. 

Her fingers found themselves raking through his hair as he moved his fingers inside her, matching the rhythm of his tongue.

Cwen felt herself rising to the edge, “Sihtric,” she groaned while his actions became faster, matching the pumping of her hips rising to meet him.

And she came undone, her legs tensing and squeezing as he brought her to her high.

When she opened her eyes, he had moved his face to stare at her, but was continuing the motions of his fingers, still feeling her clench around him.

“You are the most beautiful woman,” he whispered, his voice deep with lust.

“Can you take me?”

Noiselessly, Cwen nodded, holding her arms out for him to come to her.

He moved, lithe as a cat, to bring his face to hers, kissing her passionately.  She could taste herself on his lips and feel her own moisture in his beard.

Cwen slipped her fingers between his pants and his hips and slid them down with his help to release his bulge.  He rolled off of her just long enough to slide his trousers off completely, before he was on her once more, his manhood hard and ready for her.

Guiding himself to her entrance, Cwen shifted her hips to better meet him.

As he pushed himself inside her, she met his eyes.  He filled her completely, pushing into the hilt before he paused to kiss her.  Then slowly again, their bodys began rocking together in a rhythm building steadily.  Her small moans and noises driving him to push harder.

He built her up once more, feeling her body tensing beneath him ready to crash in ecstasy.  Cwen cried out his name once more when he pushed her over the edge, feeling her walls clench him tight driving his own climax to follow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They lay in the grass, a tangle of limbs as their breathing returned to normal.  Cwen found her hand in Sihtric’s as he toyed with her fingers, weaving them together with his.  He brought her hand up to place a gentle kiss on her thumb.  

“Be my wife, Cwen.”

Surprised, Cwen turned her face to watch him.  He was focused on their fingers, still lacing them gently together.

He continued after a moment's pause, “I want you for my woman.  My wife.  From now until the end of days. I told you that all of my roads will lead me to you, Cwen.  And I meant it.  You are warm and kind.  You are brave.  And you make me happy.  Happier than any warrior deserves to be.  

His words were strong. Sure.

Cwen felt her eyes prickle as tears formed, blurring her vision.  She blinked to clear them away as she saw Sihtric’s head turn to look at her.

“Will you be my wife, Cwen?”

Smiling, Cwen nodded her head furiously, “Yes, Sihtric, I will be your wife.”

Grinning, Sihtric rolled Cwen on top of him and kissed her, deeply before he pulled away.

Still smiling, he laughed, “Then I have something I need to give to you.”

Cwen moved herself off of him as he reached into his pants, reaching into a small pocket, hidden in the waist.

He pulled out a tiny pouch.  He emptied the pouch into his palm.  It contained a small golden ring.  Simple and delicate, with just a few markings and designs along the band.

“This belonged to my mother.  It is the only possession I have from her. Before my father,” he glanced at Cwen before he continued, “before he killed her, she gave this to me.  She knew he would find out about what she had been doing to help the children of Dunhilm.  And she wanted for me to have this.  She has been the only woman to ever hold my heart.  Until now.  And I want you to have it.”

Cwen was speechless as he placed it in her palm, before closing her fingers over it and kissing her hand.

The tears she had been able to stem before, now ran freely along her cheeks.  Gingerly, she opened her hand and picked up the ring.  She slid it onto her finger and it fit perfectly.

“She would have loved you,” Sihtric added, wrapping his arms around Cwen and resting his forehead against hers.

“Thank you, Sihtric.  I will treasure it and hope to honor her by wearing it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they were getting dressed and beginning their walk back towards Winchester, Cwen gasped.

“Wait, won’t we need Uhtred’s approval to marry? When will you ask him?” Laughing, Sihtric took her hand, “I have already asked him, love.  It is what I wished to speak with him about this morning.”

“Oh you planned all of this then?”

“I did”

“Oh you are quite the romantic, my soon-to-be husband.”

Sihtric chuckled once more along with Cwen, “I guess I am.”

As they continued walking, Cwen asked, “So what did Uhtred say when you asked him?” “He said that I would be a fool not to marry you.”

Sihtric pulled her close, kissing her temple as they walked, “And he is right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please let me know if you wish to be added or removed from my tag list.

Tags: @maggiescarborough @pokeasleepingsmaug @nxrdist @mystic-shadows42 @emilyhufflepufftlk @magravenwrites @lauwrite1225 @morosemagick @thebohemianpenguin @mrsalwayswrite @notyourwildestdream @ecarroll1978 @93xdiagonxalley @nobodys-business-world @evelynshelby @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @trenko-heart @0hsappho