#i love doing my game dev stuff but it was nice to go back to comics for a lil bit

[loverofpiggies]

Guys I know I havent done comics in like 3 years or something but.

I got the biggest inspiration to draw a Fionna and Cake comic about Simon and the Winter King and uhhh

It's already 24 pages strong.

[seventh-district]

so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

[wispscribbles]

Mw3 spoilers (just a long personal ramble)

Hiii. So

As soon as the pre-release came out on, I hunted down spoilers, because I know myself and knew that if someone died and I got that information out of the blue, I wouldn’t take it well. Jokes on me, because I still haven’t been taking it well lol

I won’t talk about how Soap’s death was handled or the quality of the game. Plenty of smarter people are doing so.

I try not to talk a lot about myself and irl stuff on here, but will just say: I am very unwell, mentally. (Cue silence because that’s not surprising at all) Something I am very aware that I do, is that I latch onto fiction with my whole being, usually one specific character. For some reason, I always latch onto the character that ends up dead, usually in a way that make them only exist to further the motivations of other characters. It sucks.

So my hope for Soap has never been great, but for some reason I was still so shocked?? I don’t know, I tricked myself into thinking this time was different. Such an iconic character with so much good setup for great character development. I knew someone would die, but ow. To me, he was the element that made 141 seem more like family than coworkers. Soap’s interactions with the rest just livened up the games so much and made them all shine. Especially Ghost. Their dynamic, man.

Soap was the character that intrigued me enough to jump into the cod rabbit hole. It feels very hollow without him.

I keep telling myself that it’s silly to be so hurt over something fictional, and that I can just treat it as a mcd fanfic and move on, but nope. Brain’s stuck in the bad stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine to let something like this affect me so much, but well. Logic vs feeling and all that.

I really did find so much comfort in Soap this last year, that I severely needed. It feels a little like losing someone I know, someone who helped me through a rough time. I related to something in him and felt inspired. I only started writing after getting into ghostsoap, I started working out and I got back into art after a very long burnout. It may be fiction, but the impact is not.

So that was pretty much the worst case scenario of what mw3 could be to me. I always knew the risk, but, once again, ow. But there also seems to be plenty of good stuff in the game that I enjoy. I’m happy with the Ghost and Soap dialogue, the whole team working together and seeing Laswell and Farah and Alex and Nik. I hope I can be inspired by some of the new content once I’m calmer.

And I was worried they would ignore Ghost and Soap’s relationship after their development in mw2, but they genuinely seem to have gotten real close. It’s nice. I thought the shipping might scare the game devs into never having them appear in a scene together again, so that’s a plus.

Bottom line to all this is: I probably need a little break to get my head sorted. The grief is surprisingly real, it’s triggered some old stuff for me (haven’t been sleeping or eating, been stuck in some old thoughts). I’ll need to calm down and become a bit more normal about this again. Part of the grief isn’t so much about Soap himself, but also just the safe space that this account has been. The very nature of how the fandom is going to interact with Soap and Ghostsoap is going to change now, and man… I liked how it was, y’know? Could’ve used a little longer in that bubble. There’s going to be plenty of new fics and art, lovely stuff as always, but many of them will be tinged with grief, and I’m not in a place where that won’t break me a little.

I will hopefully come back to posting and making stuff once my brain settles down. I have so many drafts for fics and ideas that I hope I can return to. I’ve gotten so used to drawing these lads that I doubt I can stop tbh

The version of Soap that we love is already evolved from the games due to all the time and care the community has put into the character. The games may have killed him, but luckily, he’s fictional. We can do what we want, same as before.

I’m not even saying that I wish they hadn’t killed him. The games are crafting a story that fits their audience. It makes sense.

But I will choose to live in one of the many universes we’ve created for Soap, where he is alive and cared for, with a found family and a spooky lieutenant with a soft spot for him. Good for him.

Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves. RIP canon Soap (again). Thanks to Neil for a wonderful portrayal. And no matter where we go from here, thanks for a wonderful year of creating with you lovely folks. Seriously, some of the kindest people I’ve met in fandom. <3

Lastly: fuck you Kevin O’Reilly, but more importantly, sincerely thank you. (CallMeKevin video about mw2 got me into this mess. Otherwise I was keeping cod at an arm’s length, but he’s my fav youtuber, so I watched it. And here we are!)

[reilleclan-blog]

They are just dancing ur honor

YEAH THE DANCE WITH DEATH or OF DEATH

um i genuinely love this series i think the devs made a game not to "hype up" their main character which a lot of games and story telling does, but they made a game about changing and perspective and I respect them a lot for that. B/c these are just ppl trying to survive not superheroes or op characters. Not that there's anything wrong with stories like that i just think stories like that have gotten old.

So yes Ellie changes Abby changes but I still love the characters a lot , at times I wished Ellie stayed with Dina but I'm like maybe that's just what she needed to do to finally change/let go of the past and further more forgive Joel. It was heartbreaking to see Ellie leave Dina cause I loved their dynamic and how often does unrequited love work out lol. But I don't blame either one for their choices I was upset with Ellie but it is what it is. It makes me think like "yes this person has changed but they are still the person I knew. So do I want to keep them in my life or let them go" kinda thing.

And all power to the audience but I think ppls discourse of the game was a little biased. Everyone hated Abby which yes she killed Joel. (Oh yeah and everyone was being transphobic and homophobic in general) and then a lot of ppl were mad Ellie didn't kill Abby(this is just a lot of shit I saw ppl complain about when the story was first released) but no one really talked EVER about a lot of the symbolisms or "coincidences" that happen thru the game.

Like the switch blade and little Ottie the elephant(i think that's its name) symbolizing the innocence of a child and showing Ellie whos changed and had to kill over the years

Or the fact that Abby is shown in a Halloween store on the "Seattle day 1"(when showing Abby after Joel's death) reminding me of the left behind dlc and they play around in a Halloween store . Or the parallels of Owen and Abby's relationship to Ellie and Riley when they were younger. And one friend wanting to explore but the other is trying to go back home.

Ellie and Abby both having tank tops on during their final fights lol not that important but yah. There's more but that's all I can remember right now I gotta play the rest of this game on grounded I know I'm gonna get my ass kicked playing that shit. I ususally play on story mode cause I want to enjoy the story lol but sometimes I know I can play on normal I just don't be feeling like it.

I'd honestly give this series a 10/10 it was amazing to experience very heavy subjects and topics talked about mostly is revenge worth it or how much are u willing to change for it.

Also Abby being so caring for the two young Seraphites was so nice to see her being "motherly" and sweet to them but also gruff with the way she talked. And honestly I got a soft spot for Abby idk is it the muscles? Lol and I saw someone say Dina carried her relationship with Ellie I'd say "yes and no" I think they had a lot of "let's clear the air" but never did that b/c Ellie probably didn't want to talk about it and/ or they weren't ready to talk about it. And Ellie was trying so hard to act like nothing was wrong but it clearly was wrong. So yes they were happy together but couldn't let go. I said this already but Ellie was like a warrior that couldn't leave the battlefield cause that's all she was used to. But she didn't really "try" to be happy either. All the killing and murder and brain trauma I doubt a couple months would cure u of the fucked up shit. Trying to heal from trauma takes tim on e but she didn't really give herself that either .. so idk

Also I woke up to a pic of Ellie's leather strap shotty having 20 ppl interact with it so thank u I didn't think much of the post lol I did like the pic a lot tho. I think it's just tlou stuff is super popular either way thanks

This is a lil jokey joke but THEY HAD TO NERF ABBY JUST FOR THESE MFS TO EVEN STAND A CHANCE AGAISNST HER THAT IS SO FUNNY TO ME. ELLIE GOT A DAMN BLADE FIGHTINF A MALNURISHED ABBY BRUH. Lol Abby was just so cold and cool I loved her bruh. But on god if Dina had died cause of Ellie idk if I could've forgiven her character lmao.

Also please I don't care about shipping ship whoever u like I really don't care I don't want to see ppl arguing about ships please. I liked Dina and Ellie but that don't mean I wasn't sad for Jessie losing his girl he clearly still liked Dina lol. I'm just saying I'm very neutral when it comes to shipping characters don't argue with me argue with ya mama

[reel-fear]

Looking at my old bendy posts is so sad. I used to post dissections of the story and fun things in it, I'd still like to do that but Mike sucks out so much of my energy but I also constantly feel the need to post about whatever dumb shit he says so I can explain to people why it's bad and shouldn't be supportive. On his youtube post a ton of people are being so kind to him and I'm just baffled. This rude asshole who has been nothing but bigoted towards his fans who want to see more diversity gets to be seen as some massive victim because HE said some dumb shit and people didn't like it? What about the young queers who were devastated to find out they'd never be represented in Bendy? What about the people of color who had to witness the graphic novel be filled with almost nothing but white people, with the only canonical person of color now being a book-exclusive [aka Non-Canon] character? Why do they matter so little to so many people? Why do the feelings of Mike, who has literally earned every bit of hate he's ever gotten, matter more than those of the people he's hurt? Why do I have to be the one who constantly updates tumblr on the new stupid shit he's saying no matter how tired and upset it makes me to have to constantly talk about the awful things he constantly says and then gets away with.

I miss being able to talk positively about Bendy, when most of my posts were just talking about cool things I thought about from the franchise. But being honest, I don't think I can ever go back to that time either. With stuff like the bendy books being no longer canon when they contain the best writing in the entire franchise and the way Mike shits himself at any critique he gets... I just can't speak positively of Bendy without some sort of "But..." Anymore, this franchise just fucking sucks currently.

I could make the posts I wanted to about stuff like how much I love Norman but I don't like Game Norman cause he lacks the interesting bits the books added and Book Norman has an awful design now thanks to these assholes! I could make all the posts I had wanted to about BATDR and its story, but I don't like to speak positively of the games anymore cause I don't want people to support them! I could make more posts on the books but then I'll be reminded that all this great writing Kress did, the bendy devs are completely ungrateful for! I literally can't speak purely nice of this franchise anymore cause at every turn I'm faced now with just how much it's been ruined and how much of that happened recently. I miss being able to make a causal nice post about Bendy but now I feel I can't do so without it being misleading or not the full story, Mike has tainted this fucking franchise with his presence and the fact Meatly lets him speak for both of them without stopping him or challenging him makes me assume he thinks the same way Mike does. Ughhhhhhhhhh

[sincerely-sofie]

Check-in for 01/28/24

It's been a while since I did one of these. Time to remedy that!

I've been doing well in my assignments, but due to some registration issues at the start of the semester I was unable to sign up for any web development or programming classes :< It's nice to take a break, but I'm really worried about getting stagnant in those skills, and maybe even losing what I've learned over time.

This is where a couple of new projects come in: A blorbo database and a tool for drawing pokemon from memory. These things are going to keep me avoid stagnancy and help me develop my web dev and Python programming skills, and I'm real excited to talk about them.

First up, let's talk about that tool for drawing pokemon from memory. I love drawing pokemon from memory, but it's a bit of a struggle to find tools online that work well for a solo experience when you're doing this challenge alone. So I made a program in PyGame to solve this problem, and I've actually already completed it! It was a great learning experience when it came to getting a taste of APIs, and PokeAPI really helped me do all the heavy lifting with it. I also ended up using ChatGPT to help me understand how to phrase my questions and the things I needed to research. This is the end result:

If you click "Get Random Pokemon", the program will provide a pokemon's name. The point of it is to draw the pokemon as best as you remember it, and then click "Show Pokemon Image" to see how you did. You will then have the option to get a new random pokemon, which clears the image from the window.

There's a lot of stuff I don't understand about how the program works--- APIs evade my understanding, and Tkinter is a dark art beyond my comprehension. But I was able to make a program that solved a genuine problem for me for the first time, and that's super exciting to me!

Now, for web development--- long story short, I'm making a website dedicated to cataloguing my OCs that's very much inspired by tumblr user @snekkerdoodles's personal site on neocities, which I regularly stare at in an effort to motivate myself to make cool things like it (everyone reading this should check his page out IMMEDIATELY and tell him how cool it is). Here's the screenshots of the WIP I'm chipping away at right now:

I don't have much to say about it, as the interesting stuff will really be the content of the pages, and I still have yet to finish the template page I'll be filling with my OCs' information. However, I can say that I'm very upset with the lack of proper teaching that took place in the first (and currently only) college web dev class I've taken. I spent an entire semester doing my own research to learn everything they were supposed to be teaching us. I'm still very peeved about that.

To summarize this very rambling post I'm too sleepy to edit properly, I'm making a digital blorbo encyclopedia, and I finished making a little desktop app thingy, which means I need to summon a new programming project. I'm tempted to make it a video game... maybe I should turn back to that visual novel idea I had ages ago and boot up RenPy!

[dreamtydraw]

Hello from the Fishbowl!

Oh I’m so glad you and plant anon agree with me on my vn red flags/icks! Like I said a lot of the red flags and icks I tend to have are really subjective so I get that some people will love what I kinda hate but it’s nice to see I’m not alone on stuff :)

Also, is it bad that I kinda wanna hear more about Heir to Love and Lie? I’ve never played any Fictif games but this sounds like some hot gossip I want in on, tell me more about how bad of a game it is lol. From an outsider perspective I think it’s kinda funny how it’s like “Yes the Fictif app has a bunch of great and fun stories with a ton of good content- NO DONT LOOK AT THAT STORY ITS HIDEOUS-” I know the stories are probably made by different teams so it makes sense that there’s differences in quality but still

Last Legacy and now Roadkill have peaked my interest since I’ve seen you talk about it here (I had never heard of Fictif at all before) but I’ve been a little hesitant to give the games a try because they’re mobile games and frankly I’m not the biggest fan of playing vn style games on mobile, I used to all the time but the grinding for stuff like story keys just to get content that may or may not be good kinda grated on me so I stopped and haven’t looked back. But idk maybe I’ll decide to give Fictif a chance when I have the time, your love for the games are definitely convincing me to give it a shot :)

Also I hope you get better soon and you’re not sick with anything too serious! Take care of yourself!

-🐟

( ok i’ll do proganda about the good game of fictif ask me about htlal on another ask )

Ok so i’ll start by saying that you should def play roadkil, last legacy and monster manor on the fictif app, WITH A CRACKED VERSION! If you have an Android play with a mod app and you won’t have to pay for the special choice ( you still have to wait for keys tho but it’s manageable) I personally use Modyolo. With the mod there is no grind, you just wait for your keys to regenerate to play the chapters.

Why you should play last legacy ? Last legacy is a really well written fantasy romance made by queers, for queers with good queers characters. The narrative is limited but realize that fans of this game haven’t had update in 2 years and we all still love this, that how good the game is for us. What I really appreciate is the approach of the romance, the well-written worldbuilding, and the interesting plot and evolution of the li throughout the story + bonus points the art is really pretty + the music is awesome

This is an otome where you feel the passion of the dev because of all the details and care they put into the characters. It sad that we’ll never get an ending but just because it’s my second favorite otome after Our life i really recomand.

Now another wonderful story on the app is Monster manor. It’s a reviseted tale of beauty and the beast where mc is a reparator that come helps the resident of the manor to fix the place and also fix their issue. Again it’s very well written and although you can get subtile subtext on romance this one is very axed on exploring the character's mental health and their story of self-improvement. ALSO IT HAS A CANON TRANS DRAGON CREATURE WHO’S THE SWEETEST I LOVE HIM HE’S SO WHOLESOME-

Bonus the music is so good i even added it on my spotify- and good art

Monster Manor is one of those stories that leave a very specific feeling in you. I don't know how to describe it but it just has a lot of wholesomeness and character going troughs sad but relatable problems that you see get better and makes you happy that they're healing.

now.... my guilty pleasure.... Roadkil !

THE BROMANCE OF THIS GAME IS SO GOOD I swear

Objectively: This game feels like a wild mess of fan fiction with random scenario after scenario and cliché horror moments, but oh man the ambiance. The best trio of Li, they are close friends, and in the 3 routes the group is just such an amazing friend group. The characters are lovely and it's like reading a bad yet good wattpad fanfic : well written ? no ? But the ideas ? good !

Like i said, this game is based on cliché of horror movies but also on american culture ( which I learned trought this game lol ). It has longer chapters than the other two games (except Tess but Tess got hit by the sexism of a greedy company that wants shirtless men in dating sim to attract gurls ) BUT they all shine.

Poe's route had me ugly crying in the end, Howie's ending is AWFULL but I had a great time, Tess is actually a superbe F Li even whith the dev having to cut her short and ruin her ending, she shine very britgh in the other routes and her own ( for ex she's the one with a shotgun and the one that won you and howie a teddy bear )

I really need more people to play roadkill because it's an underated banger in my opinion and it has many great scenes in the mess of scenarios ( the intro is really good for ecxemple )

Like, when I say not all game needs to be well written? That's what I'm talking about, this one is a hot delightful mess

ANYWAY! My rambling was long but I hope it was interessing !

[just-a-carrot]

Obligatory every now and then "thank you for making the games that you do" ask 😌 it is so rare to see queer and mental health representation as honest and in-depth as your games. A big reason I spend a lot of my time making whacky little OW drawings is because it always just brightens my mood, being able to draw little guys who are like me in a way a lot of ways I just don't see expressed often. As someone who is Rather Disabled and Rather Queer, it's nice to just... have games where being those things is okay. Seeing nonbinary representation as honest and open as Gidget honestly made me tear up when I saw it. As someone who has Been Through That Stuff (in places that were-- and probably still are-- life-threatening to be seen as queer), I felt so seen by them and what they've been through. (I also forgot to mention but I did get the Gidget haircut eventually 😌 gender/10) ANYWAYS. Sorry if this ask got too Personal or anything I am a horrible judge of stuff like that 😅 but I did want to say thanks. (Also while I'm at it, thanks for answering the many asks I send about incredibly random topics related to the blorbos. I get very anxious about sending them so I don't half the time [nothing to do with anyone, I am just Anxiety: The Rabbit], but for the times I do, thank you for entertaining the asks even if they are utterly ridiculous most of the time haha. (And thanks for the help/feedback on dev-related stuff too, it's appreciated 😌 the comment left on TRJ still brightens my day whenever I think about it because I thought while making it that no one would enjoy it... but receiving that shortly after publishing it assuaged my fears by quite a bit so I'd just like to say thanks for that too. (...Whoops I think I have made a message Utterly Too Long but I hope it gets the points across??? Maybe??? Hopefully???)

weep this is incredibly sweet???? 😭💕

it literally brings me the utmost joy when people can see parts of themselves in my chars or relate to my char at all or feel seen, etc. also because a big part of this game is based on my own experiences and struggles so it helps ME feel seen when OTHERS also feel seen because then we can all relate together and maybe feel a little less alone in the experiences we've gone through in life

LKDJALFKDSFADF PLEASE DON'T EVER BE ANXIOUS ABOUT SENDING IN ASKS I LITERALLY LOVE RESPONDING TO THEM????? (tho i get it it would probably make me anxious too now matter how many times someone said that LOL) but fr i love going through my ask box and answering silly little questions. especially lately my anxiety's been cranked up to 11 so getting to distract myself with silliness is oftentimes a lovely godsend 💕

AND OFC 🥺 i always want to help in any way i can and also just spread love as much as i can. being a dev in general can feel so isolating, especially when we're neck-deep in deeply personal projects that take a lot out of us to work on (no matter how much we love them lakdfad). it helps knowing we've got others out there that can support us and have our backs and a little community of small devs that can relate to each others' issues and boost each other up

LDKJFALDFKA DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT thank you so much for this sweet message!! i got a bit teary-eyed reading it sob 😭💕

[sluggybunny]

boooooo game dev booo

(background image is not part of the game it;s a placeholder, i did not create it. the ui is made by me tho) i have been putting off ui stuff so much jdkfhkdsh please help

it's so hard because you have to make small pieces and try and put it together in your brain. ive done mock ups but there's still like so many windows and things to keep in mind. i still have to design all sorts of menus but if i can get the basic elements then its just arranging shit.

this is the main thing thats been like. halting dev on the game because i have to get the ui set up to properly implement all sorts of functions. i do alot of placeholder stuff but i find that it takes a lot of fiddling /going back to edit text and arrangments that i think i should get it out of the way first. i can polish it up layer, i suppose.

i have been paying alot of attention to the ui in games that i play to get some ideas. animations are gonna be hard to figure out.

other things achieved but lack cool visuals to wow and stun the masses:

i created a grid-based location/travel system. this means nothing to the player besides that the world should feel cohesive and put together despite the game being in 2d & text. there will be a mini map. the first area is a town & surrounding forest-y area. im very proud of the coding i did for the location system so please clap

inventory system is somewhat working. there are items and you can pick them up and they all have stats and descriptions. yay! The clothing system works too. You can dress up and the clothing all have style points so you can dress to impress or distress. It will be fun when I get to draw the icons for the clothing because I shifted the game's aesthetics more towards a whimsy victorian-esque thing and i have been endlessly scrolling through various lolita stores.

i created a way to store the npc's data in a nice way. i like objects so much even if it's pointless at times. it will be useful for the player's journal system, it will keep info on the npcs. npcs will have various stats to keep track of like love/dominance and relationship flags. and hopefully birthdays although i am running into an issue of "is this actually a good idea or am i going a little too kojima on this"

ive gotten pretty far for just 1 person and especially someone who doesnt have formal coding knowledge and is too anxious to dare ask any ppl on the forums. if i run into a problem i will just bang my head against it until i figure it out.

anyway idk bye i wanted to ramble bc im lonely

[slasheru]

Heyyyyy Slasher Nation! 🖤 First of all - HOLY CRAP THANK YOU!! Even though the Kickstarter didn't hit the goal, the fact that 98 of y'all (!!) got us a SIGNIFICANT part of the way there (almost $3,000!!) is MINDBLOWING!! <3333 I can't thank you enough 😭

So What Now / Wait you had a Plan B the whole time?!

Yeah, man, you thought I was just gonna leave you guys hanging? ;) We're gonna try this again with a WAY smaller goal on Crowdfundr! (I'll talk more about this below!) Short pitch is: $1,125 goal (which we nailed in 48 hours here), keeps SU running, launches September 7th, Crowfundr is being hella cool and sponsoring it for SPX Spotlight, follow along HERE! [https://crowdfundr.com/slasheruact2]

But ALSO, holy crap, you guys are AMAZING:

I can hardly call this thing a wash, though, because the amount of love, attention, and SOLD COPIES OF SLASHER U: ACT 1 have been ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WILD. I just wanted to shout out to:

More than 600 new Slasher U: Act 1 players downloaded the game since the Kickstarter launched

Slasher U: Act 1: Alpha Edition maintains a whopping 4.9 out of 5 Stars average rating on itch (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I sold enough copies of Slasher U: Act 1 to cover MORE THAN HALF MY RENT THIS MONTH!! If this Kickstarter stopped right here, you guys would've been able to cover 4 MORE months of rent & production time! Which is HOG WILD.

We got shoutouts from:

Beautiful Glitch, the team behind Monster Prom, Monster Camp, & Monster Roadtrip!! Beautiful Glitch are one of my most inspirational/aspirational heroes of game dev, and the Monster franchise was a HUGE inspiration for SU, so I can't BELIEVE this happened!!!! Thank you guys SO MUCH!!! <333

WWAC (Women Write About Comics), where journalist Alenka Figa wrote SO MUCH NICE STUFF about my storytelling I'm gonna fuckin cry!!

Corinne Halbert of ACID NUN - she and I are actually gonna do an Acid Nun x Slasher U collab where you'll be able to unlock an Acid Nun player skin!! Shhhh!!

The crew at Lewdgamer who wrote an awesome writeup of the KS campaign!

Indiepocalypse - we made it into Issue #42 and Alex had us on his podcast, which was SO MUCH FUN!! According to Alex, Slasher U had one of the highest audience participation/engagements he's seen on Indiepocalypse Radio, and it was MEGA FUN watching him parse some of your saucy Sawyer questions, LMFAO.

And here's some Slasher U & SUKS stats for you:

More than 2/3rds of you ended up dating either Sawyer or Tate. >:)

In total, 94 of you backed the game here on KS!!! YOU ALL KICK SERIOUS ASS

Almost 1,000 new copies of Slasher U: Act 1 (both Regular and Premium) were downloaded during the campaign!

During the campaign, at least 3 people personally thanked me for Slasher U completely changing their life by discovering something about themselves or making them feel seen and heard, which is going to make me FUCKING CRY and is the ENTIRE REASON WHY I MAKE THIS GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE. I love you all so, so so sosososoososososos much, Student Disembody. :'))))))

So this "Plan B", eh?

Some of you know I'm a cartoonist by trade (I drew for the official FNAF franchise and more!). This year, I ended up talking to some sponsors for this upcoming SPX (Small Press Expo), which is like SDCC for indie comics, including Crowdfundr - one thing led to another, and now I'm partnering up with Crowdfundr and SPX to bring you a WAY SMALLER but also WAY MORE PERSONAL campaign to keep the lights on here at SU, as part of Crowfundr's SPX Spotlight event! For the non-comics folks here, Crowdfundr is basically the indie comics Kickstarter - I've been buddies with this crowd (pun vageuly intended) for a while and I'm psyched to be doing this with people I've been meaning to collab with!!

The new goal will cover the absolute bare minimum of making SU - $1,125, which includes font licenses, the Mac port, and taxes. Then, any EXTRA will go to more production time on Slasher U! Basically, I'm swinging the campaign around so the minimum amount is the goal, and the goal-goal's the reach goal. The GOOD NEWS is we apparently smashed this $1k goal within 48 hours of THIS Kickstarter, so I'm VERY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT ROUND 2 OVER HERE.

(You'll ALSO still be able to snag one of those custom player skins I'm drawing - there's gonna be only 5 slots this time!) Aaaaand you can click to follow when the Crowdfundr launches in a month, here:

P.S: estimating the first Early Access build with *just* Laila's Act 2 content, plus some core extras, in the next month or month and a half >:)))

xoxoxooxoxoxoxo, love you guys SO FUCKIN MUCH, and, as we like to say on campus:

STAY HORNY!! xxoxooxox Professor Plutonium

[fioras-resolve]

i'm an hour away from San Francisco, and less than a day away from gdc. the stuff is terrifying to me, and i'm almost scared to go. like, i'll be on my own in a massive conference center, potentially interacting with people a lot better than me at this whole gamedev shtick. it's strange, you know? to a lot of people i've met i *am* the intimidating gamedev, but when i'm in the presence of other devs i'm reminded that i'm a socially awkward loser who probably wouldn't fit in with this whole thing anyway. i mean fuck, i'm going to wear the cat ears, in large part because i'm hoping that gives people an easy in for talking with me. but it can just as easily make me look like a weirdo who's not taking this seriously. and i do take it seriously! i take it very seriously. i take it more seriously than anyone else i know, because goddammit games are my life. my truest love. the constant in my life that makes it all worth it.

and i'm scared, you know? i'm scared that despite how mature i feel of late, i'm still a fuckin kid. and like, i know, okay? i know that "realizing you're still a kid is the mature thing," but it's different, okay? this isn't "humbling." for years, since i was in high school, i've been insecure about fitting in with people older than me. with rare exception, i'm the youngest one in any group, because i've always been doing shit that few others can. and like, look, i know it's not the Correct thing to say, i know that saying that i, angie nyx, have special talents that others don't is entering some real shit territory. i am well aware that despite my obstacles i am still in an immense position of privilege for even being able to make games in the first place. but i haven't come this far, in creating, analyzing, and learning about games to be told that i'm just like anyone else. 

*sigh* i want to have self-respect and self-confidence without being vain, but really sometimes i just wanna tell someone "i know more than you, why are you questioning me?" i'm in a position where i get to talk about games with people in a way where they listen, and i have an obligation to listen to them. and i hate the feeling i get when someone tells me they see me as a standard they need to live up to, because it shows the contradiction of my whole approach to my work. i take this stuff really seriously, i pursue it as a passion like no other, and i hold myself to a high standard, but i also recognize that holding literally anyone else to that standard would be harmful. i've lost friends over this, and only one has come back.

man, i just... i'm pushed all sorts of ways by this. i'm worried that my going to gdc makes me a sellout or an uberdweeb or an ivory tower elitist. but at the same time i'm worried that i'm NOT good enough to even be in this space. i'm choosing to go to this conference because i believe in my craft, because i want to get better, and because gdc talks have been my comfort media for years. there's some part of me, at the core of my being, that thinks this will be a nice and enriching conference where i'll learn a lot and maybe get to network. this is the place i'll go to meet My People. but i'm terrified, you know? i'm scared that all that i've built up is just pretend. i'm even MORE scared that i'll fuck it up somehow by being so autistic. scared that the mask will slip and i'll reveal myself to be a scared cat in a human body. scared that i'll embarrass myself, or make someone uncomfortable. i'm scared that maybe i'm not a real game developer, but someone just cosplaying as one.

man, i just... i wish i could cuddle with someone right now. it's been months since i've seen a partner or even a friend in person. it's been so long since i've had any kind of contact, any kind of warmth or closeness. i wish i was doing that instead of going by myself to a convention full of people i don't know. i'm lonely. i'm scared. the real reason why i wanted a friend to go with me is because that way i wouldn't feel so alone. i'd have someone i could talk to who was right here with me. if things went badly, i'd get support. instead i'm going with my mom, who very openly treats this as a vacation opportunity like any other. she wants to see the sights of san francisco. what i need is someone who i can share a room with and know it's all gonna be okay. god dammit.

[fireemblems24]

Fire Emblem Engage 21 - 23

Spoilers for FE Engage beneath the cut. This game doesn't have the deepest cast, but all of them are pretty enjoyable and there's less that are just a single gimmick like in the old days.

Let me guess who the boss is for Ch 21. Some of the hounds?

Sombron trying to revive Atlantis is certainly a new villain motivation. Oh, now we're back to the typical stuff. He wants to invade other worlds also.

So I don't think we get Marni as a unit, but pretty sure we get Mauvier. And now sobstory incoming for Marni. She dead.

I really hope Griss doesn't get a last second sob story. I want him to just be an unhinged psychopath.

And, like, I buy Mauvier's behavior because we had a lead up to it. But Marni's been nothing but an unrepentant killer. Having a hard time caring at all about any of this. I want Alfred, Ivy, and the other rulers back.

I'm trying also to take this seriously that everyone here is chit-chatting instead of trying to kill each other lamo. Like, bitch!Veyle has tortured Marth and we're just watching her. (and Zephia and Griss).

Aw, man, I thought we were going to get Marth back :(

Alear's getting a Disney Death I see. Poor Alfred's so stressed. And Veyle, but I can't bring myself to care about her yet.

Are we losing the rings again? Aw, come on. 😭 Alear, you fucked up. I'm amazed Sombron didn't just wipe out Alear and co tbh. This is a bigger L than ch 10. At least Veyle is actually planning on killing all the heroes bc it's about time someone tried to actually kill each other in a cut scene.

Is this when Deus ex machina steps in? Because we lost the rings. Alear's dead. Veyle's evil again. And she's about to murder everyone else.

Oh, that's actually kinda cool. Alear's coming back as a corrupted. So not Deus ex machina. Since this was already established (Deus ex machina incoming to revert Alear back to human from a zombie).

Zombie!Alear didn't last long. Good voice acting though. It's obvious she'll come back. Which, that means she had two deaths in back-to-back chapters. Impressive? Is this the "miracle" thingy the emblems talked about once? Lamo. This plot. I swear. Ah, and the mom's ring.

But, hey, gotta say it's nice there's real consequences for what she does.

OMG her hair is all blue. Does it stay that way? Is it bad that I don't want it too? I'll miss the Pepsi and Colgate look.

Alear's the Fire Emblem. This is both ridiculously cheesy but also kinda awesome. I wasn't even looking for the "Fire Emblem," but I never would've guessed it was the MC lamo. All the past lords are simping. Do I get Alear as a ring though? Can I give it to Alfred?

The goofy hair is still here!! Yessss.

Alfred and Veyle's C support was hilarious. Mostly because of Alfred. Also, don't give him spicy food lol.

After some suggestions, I put Lyn on Alcryst and lamo. Alcryst + Brave Bow + Alacrity is just disgusting.

The hottest man in this game is Sigurd. This is an unarguable fact.

Is it me, or does Veyle build support REALLY fast?

Ok, but can you imagine your parents tell you that you have no choice, you must be X's retainer. And you expect some boring, stuffy, stuck-up noble - but instead - it's Alfred. 😅 I've seen people describe him as a "human golden retriever" and honestly, they're not wrong.

Ok, guys, I'm about to S-Support Alfred. The ring said it's your "trusted partner," so it might not be explicitly romantic, but as long as it's good, it'll stay my #1 ship in this game.

OMG, that was really cute. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Alfred essentially says he wants to be more than friends and gives Alear an embroidery piece that's basically a Firene royal engagement rite. Alear says she's felt that way about him since she first saw him. She puts the ring on his finger, and he straight up says "I love you." Shit's pretty explicit and furthers my "devs wanted you to pick Alfred" propaganda. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

So do the two hounds finally die?

Kinda annoyed Veyle replaced the royals, ngl. She's probably the only character I dislike, meanwhile Ivy and Alfred are my two favorites and Diamant and Timerra are both solid.

So the Hounds ARE finally dying. Finally. But why is Zephia helping us? Telling us about other shards? Also, why is Madonna/whore complex the character talking more than Alear now?

This last minute throw at sympathy for these two is wasted. Like, they were one-note evil before this, lamo. Even the game is like "this makes no sense, please ignore it" with Zephia's dialogue. I'd rather hear Amber talk more about alpacas.

Lamo, Alfred is surrounded by lava and he's like "look, a flower, isn't that amazing!" I love him.

More time wasted on the 2 hounds, though Griss faking dead so he can enjoy the pain is on point. Not even Timerra got this much dialogue.

[cursezoroark]

playing desolation, and by the time I post this I will have Caught up to Desolation! This is my own opinion and review on the game! For the record I've only played Rejuv and now Desolation of the entire series. In terms of pokemon fangames i have played ep 1 of Flux , Gaia, and Unbound. Disclaimer and TLDR: the game is Very good as I expected I had fun :] . The devs worked their ass off and the fact this game is free and has this much shown effort is so awesome. when ep 7 comes out i Will be reviewing once again. It wont be for more than a year though given the recent dev update. either way!

Pros:

I love the spritework sort of thing for the dialogue, when important characters come on. It's very pretty!

the credits system is gen p interesting. motivator for getting exclusive pokemon and items and even the capsules + mints, which imo is much better than the AP system that was in rejuv. its more easier to achieve and more incentive.

also HELL YEAH sidequests! I loved the tidbits of main lore u get from certain ones, and certain choices. Inch resting!

The difficulty still makes me work Hard to think but doesn't kill me with a bajillion reset and planning so that's all fair and good 👍 the only one I had to rlly drive home for was Jarred. Jesus fucking Christ. i had valerie flashbacks from rejuv but its worse cause it was a DOUBLE BATTLE.

the SPARKLES. lifesaver for me who loves the shiny sprite reworks in this game. i have a beautiful shiny greninja, umbreon, hydreigon, and vikavolt. Vikavolt is my favorite shiny i love whoever reworked that. Jade is so so pretty :]

the music is KILLER. Vs Shiv and Vs Nova is Good. Very Good. honestly the ost choices here rock. one of the best ost selections i enjoyed it very much.

interesting story! I can sort of peel bits of it off and it'll probably come back later to haunt me. Act 3 REALLY ramps up stuff so it did sweep a good amount of confusion I’ve had since the beginning. Act 3 was great. I miss Tristan. Nova's character is Great when it reaches a certain plot point.

I love the rangers bases, and the sidequest lore does build up nicely on the side. its starting to interfere with the main story too which hmmmmmmm hm hm hm. i will wonder about that.

Criticisms/ personal nitpicks:

i mentioned this above but i wish the ui for sidequests was a bit more clear. Like location wise, where to go, and all that. Icons above characters would rlly help me distinguish things.also PLEASE add flashing settings and shaking sets automatically to the options board pls pls pls.

I hope there will be more featured fields in the future. I did mention this was the more lax difficulty ive been through involving fields, and i watched playthroughs of reborn and played rejuv myself. (idk if theres more games with the field system but do let me know its literally one of my fav things). Like it went from oh God to oh ok to hmm to Oh God like a cycle. Though I think that’s just on my team balancing rlly

Please..... more TM versatility. While it does allow me to get creative with my team choices, it also limits what I can actually do. My TM pool is so low and i want to get creative so bad :']]]. The TM shop at Sunshell was a huge improvement though. very stingy though at lvl 65-70s though.

i Do Not like the maps for specifically silver forest and blackview. Its either very cluttering and makes me walk in Direct Circles, or leaves me very lost when im searching for a specific area. I do get the "open area" aspect of Silver mountain though, and it was easier once I got all the bridges down but still yk? but i literally couldn't find the move relearner Anywhere in blackview. it took me forever.

I wish i had more time to spend with some of the characters (Scarlett particularly) so i could rlly grow attached. I do understand that these are mostly main plot points blasting off from each other, but i just wish I could have had more interactions with the characters? More funny dialogue, more MC options to talk and affect relationship values, yk? I do anticipate an arc for a particular someone coming up though. so we'll see. the plot did do a rlly good job at the ceilia leaders though I adore All of them.

some of the language i winced at. idk if its just me so ill leave this one in the air. i dont know how to feel because im muddled.

In a way, because the plot blasts off one another, the room for me to acknowledge the changes in characters or their relationship between each other was a bit small. Like Connor and Scarlett, I think I only got like two cutscenes or tidbits of their entire growing friendship, so it didn't rlly hit me when The Scene Happened. Either way I do like themboth thumbs up.

SPOILERS THOUGHTS DO NOT READ IF U HAVENT PLAYED OR DO NOT WANT TO KNOW:

I ADORE Cecilia’s leaders. I’ve seen complaints how we seem to be Stuck There for some time and. Yeah I can sorta agree with that. Despite being Rlly Huge it also makes me Yearn for the Routes yk? either I love them all I Adore them dearly. Garrett is my favorite he got to me. Reeve and Rosetta and Aaron are all so very charming in their dynamics and gym leader squabbles.

Waldenhall is a Great Character in his introduction holy shit what an impact this guy had. also artem's sprite made me laugh so hard because their (idk their gender) portrait is just staring straight at the camera whats up w that.

Conclusion:

Should you play this game? YES. its quality is amazing, the artwork is insane, the gameplay is so good for pokemon fans who enjoy a good challenge, and want to get into some existential crises. In general, this series is So Far the easiest in the reborn deso rejuv trio. but it doesn't by far make it bad, or a cakewalk for players. Have a good ol time with it. My criticisms are my own nitpicks, but i rlly admire how much effort devs put into their fangames, by semblance of story, custom art, custom maps, etc. appreciate them lots and lots more. This game in particular weighs your choices a lot more, so you rlly have to snoop around for a particular result that you want. all in all lots of good fun!

Hope to review this again in Ep 7! and here's a goodbye from my Current Team :]

[sapphic-outlaw]

Part 1/2 Long text ahead and a mixture of cringe RP stuff and "two stoned friends with way too much time on their hands" stuff. Be warned lol. I had kind of an internal monologue while doing this trail ride. Probably because I was inebriated, but regardless I took some mental notes and wanted to put it in writing before heading to bed. Everything is perfectly optional to read, of course, since I'm mostly writing this all for myself, but more power to you if you're interested! This post is kinda randomly peppered with screenshots I thought were pretty, and then some that are actually written about. I did my best to place them accordingly! The devs of the mod menu I use, Fortitude, recently added a slow motion feature which I've been having an absolute blast with! So tonight, accompanied by a lovely friend (whom I'm just going to refer to as Charles for simplicity's sake), I went on a nice long digital trail ride with Charles and took some screenshots. This was a whole ordeal lol. Started out rather normal, no issues whatsoever as we were in a private server and had all the time in the world to just take our time and take pics. We listened to music, smoked a bowl, just got comfy and prepared for a LONG journey because I wanted this whole thing to be in slowmo. Charles hasn't really played RDR2/RDO before, much less with mods, so I had to teach him a bit. But I digress! Early into the ride I started playing Angels and Airwaves, a band that I grew up with and love dearly. Turns out… Charles hates them lol. But he DID agree that they fit the Charles and Blair aesthetic really well with both sound and lyrics, plus helped me pick out the best song to put some clips to, so there's that. Then we ran into the red coyote. I tried my hardest to ignore it, truly. But my ADHD got the best of me. I think we spent the better part of 30 minutes in a constant back and forth of "Where is it?!" "THERE!!" "WHERE?!" "RIGHT THERE!" "I CAN'T SEE WHERE YOU'RE POINTING, YOU'RE IN A DIFFERENT ROOM!" Let me tell you, chasing a coyote with cinematic mode on and in slow motion is HARD. I wish I had gotten some better pictures. Oh well though, the experience was worth it. And then I killed the poor thing. I didn't mean to, but I ran it over a couple of times and that did it in. I was actually gonna let it go after taking pics, and just let it despawn, but I guess little coyotes are no match for two stomps of an Arabian's hooves. So after selling the little cutie to Gus and getting my garment (that's my fave legendary and I somehow hadn't gotten it yet; I only let myself get legendaries when I see them in game and won't spawn them for myself), we continued south. More screenies, ofc, and I wanted to hurry through Armadillo (that town gives me the creeps. Also, I waved to a cop once and immediately became wanted) but Charles insisted we stop so he can buy some food (I told him how to fill his cores but he was immersed at this point lol, brave soul had been riding almost entirely in first person). So while he went to the general store, I chilled out with Johnny and Taima (Johnny is my horse, the brindle Arabian) and took some more pics. I caught a glimpse of Charles sprinting his big ass out of the shop when I said I was doing so, he immediately came running and said "Wait! I wanna see what [Charles] looks like on Johnny!" As if I was about to let that photography opportunity slip by lmao. Seeing Charles sprint is HILARIOUS btw. He's got kind of a naturally bow legged stride, and he honestly kinda runs like it's heavy. Iykyk. I gotta break the post off here bc Tumblr isn't cooperating, but I'll post part two in just a second. ♥

[unrealblacklightvirus]

REALBLACKLIGHTVIRUS RETCON NOTES

aka lets rewind. take it back now yall

alex is, to his knowledge, the only one who is infected with blacklight (because hes. you know.) excluding transalexmercer because they know each other and goof off. this blacklight has a 99.999999% chance of killing you after a few agonizing and horrible and painful days of being infected and slowly rotting. so. yeah

the cross that alex knows is a little different than the cross ive interacted with so im gonna say that sketch's cross is from another verse that is just really similar to this one. my cross is almost 100% canon-accurate (height, background, personality or what little personality you can gain from his 10 lines. very sad god please give him more.) except he survived the supreme hunter AND is infected with a strain of redlight - its an experimental strain similar to the d-code strain from the game, but hes not pariah. just a supersoldier. his strain causes him to act more... viral-y? when he hasnt had food or viral supplements, and he paces and tracks movement and is super strong and all that cool stuff (very descriptive of me). also the reason he could survive the supreme hunter.

alex isnt sure about cross' viral nature. he can smell it, he gets suspicious about the way cross is, but i think its funny if he just cant put a finger on it. also alex invites cross over like every week for dinner and cross says yes because even though he will never say they are friends, cross considers alex an ally and friend. also cross and dana are totally besties and dana calls him stupid names and cross just takes it because hes like that.

dana is. dana. shes the same. dana is forever. dana is eternal. dana. dana. dana. she will still break into alex's tumblr to clown on him or yell at people. i love her

karen parker is alive, just running away from the country to avoid being accidentally shot 12 times from behind in an abandoned warehouse :) alex didnt eat her (the devs i think purposely made it vague on whether alex eats her or lets her go during the web of intrigue mission at the end of the game so i chose alex forgiving her because he understands what she was forced to do in the face of LITERALLY BEING TORTURED AND DYING BY HER EMPLOYERS) so hes trying to be nice to her in his little autistic way and he considers her a friend. there is no romance between them (as alex is, once again, ace and aro) but he appreciates her as a person.

all other #alex notes apply, this is just the main shebang

[jjeinn-tae]

So, I've been thinking on it, about what I really want out of my game design. Like, yes I am tired of my day-to-day grind, sure, and want to do something that I love instead. In the beginning of my interest in the field, it was kind of all about the art of the medium? Like, I grew up on Baldur's Gate, Diablo, Tales of Symphonia... Two of those have stories that kind of laid the groundwork for the person I am. Especially ToS, like that basically wrote my ethics in a way. Almost nobody sees themselves as the villain, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

And I have so many deep stories that I want to do in this medium, and the way gameplay colors a story in a game has always fascinated me, too. Like yeah, sure you can choose things in a lot of games now, go down your "evil route" or whatever, but even in situations where you don't choose the course of action... You still did that. Like, I have forgotten the game that I'm thinking of that I haven't played, but quick searching is allowing me to use Spec Ops: The Line as an example here... A supposed go military romp, as you just slide into war criminal it seems. Like, sure, watching a movie of that slide is one thing, but in a game... You're complicit. Just following orders?

So like, that's what I want to make. But, like, there is more to what I want out of this. I've been attempting to be careful about actually sharing what I'm doing with this, even if I just fell off the earth for a year and a half at this point. I want to make those games, and I need the money, but I don't really... Like, the big thing I've been wanting to do here is like, share. I know a lot on the subject, I ran out of money and couldn't finish my degree, but I have been dabbling with it in some regard or another since elementary.

Just as much as I want to do this, the big part of my blog, and my strong desire to move into video dev logs is that I want to put out information that helps other people do this themselves too. Also, the theoretical pipe dream of a possibility that I make money off making Youtube content of game development, allowing me to release games cheaply/free is kind of a think I would love enough to like, at least throw something in the ring for it?

So, Pulsonic Dreams. The project that basically undid its own usefulness. As much as I like the idea, I am tabling it, as it is causing a weird impasse in my development at the moment. What I'm actually going to do, beyond attempt to get back to some development in J'ardscape, is: on Thursdays when I have my apartment mostly to myself, I will start recording a from-scratch project that I've had in my head for a while. One that is "not complex" as it is retro, and honestly, I just want to show on Youtube some of the early development of such a project (N64-style retro Zelda). Will I finish the project? It's not the point, I want to show early-stage prototyping. Divorcing the end product from the content creation really frees me up honestly, because my frequent respiratory problems getting in the way of recording doesn't delay a project that I am attempting to release almost entirely.

Also, a bit of a reveal about myself for why I get delayed so on these... While I'm one of those people who make the label a bit of a gray area, I do consider myself trans feminine. I have an intersex condition and am technically genetically female, but I was raised male and puberty was "a bit in both directions." My voice did deepen a bit but I spent most my life attempting to masculinize my voice to attempt to fit in, and then I realized that I could just... Not? But unfortunately, while my girl voice is nice when I can use it, asthma and fire season together make it difficult to maintain at times. Being public about that makes it easier for me to release videos, so there it is.

TLDR: I'm going to be starting a video dev log series showcasing early development stuff, as I think that's a good thing for aspiring devs to see. I'm kind of a trans woman, so my voice is wonky at times for that. And while I didn't announce it earlier, this project for recording on Thursdays is by no means going to be the only stuff I'm talking about, and I'm going back to more frequent updates soon! Hopefully! Also, Pulsonic Dreams is staying in hiatus.