#i love dissecting how people call each other sorry

[hsslilly-blog]

i think it's very in character for claire to call that man babeee ❤️ but ONLY to piss him off. she does not have a pet name for him except when she wants to be weird and i think that's so beautiful.

[inkyquince]

I'm going to make fun of so many peoole who don't like veilguard. Because....

Veilguard is the spiritual successor to Dragon Age 2

Inquisition is more like Origins, and I would call it the spiritual successor if it wasn't sufficiently lacking in other areas

Now there are dumb fucks out there who only like origins or only like inquisition. It's their entire personality when it comes to dissecting the dragon age games.

I like dragon age a lot because each game is a different genre. Origins is depression melodrama. 2 is a comedy that loves to stop and punch you in the gut every now and then, and shows the prime time when your friends are more your family than blood is. Inquisition is... A political thriller that happens to have magic (and the ugliest graphics. Bruh why is everyone but like three people so deep in the uncanny valley. Why is combat boring). Veilguard is getting to see what it feels like to inherit a situation outside of your control, it's more like an underdog story.

"it has cringy dialogue" and you don't remember origins? You think bioware doesn't dish out cringy dialogue for each game?

"the art style-" is STYLISED. Origins is good looking for graphics that feel outdated for 2009. But it's not realistic looking. 2 had it's budget slashed viciously so it does look wonky especially with their cameo characters. Inquisition, as I've said, feels deeply ugly because there is nothing stylised about it. They went for realistic and now everyones inquisitor is kinda ugly, sorry. People enter the uncanny valley, they always look better in concept art. The three prettiest people we have is Dorian, Cassandra and Josephine. Everyone else enters the uncanny valley of WEIRD looking. It's busted and I'm sorry. Veilguard? Fuckin stellar stylisation. The art, the environments, the magic, is so goddamn pretty.

"you cant control your compa-" yes you can. You can make them attack. Why are you sad about missing out on inquisitions boring combat where you press R. Wow. Amazing.

People have rose tinted glasses for these games. Play them from the first to the last game and I'd say veilguard is FULLY one of the best. I saw some loser on tiktok scream about the iron bull's signature being EXPLAINED in text and not shown?? Saying 10 years and for what?

10 years for a play through, start to finish, took me 55 hours doing ALL of the quests and exploring. From the amazing character creator and the hair physics that inquisition, 2 and origins could never make work. From the beauty of the backgrounds, how each location feels deeply lived in, compared to inquisition where new environments felt plastic and not real. For a finale that had me crying for 20 minutes at the choices I made and knew would make again. For the reveals, for the conversations, for the natural ending for Solas. I only cried in origins after my warden died. I teared up at Hawkes mother dying. Inquisition got no tears from me.

I'm sorry that you're hung up on small details. I have complaints too. Maybe a better fantasy term for trans and non-binary, but honestly the conversations that we're able to have about them? Deeply lovely. I personally wish that one day we can go back to the origins start, where we spend around 20 minutes IN our origin and then go frolicking. I'd kill to see that with the mourn watcher and crow origin so we can be excited when we see them again when we revisit the important NPCS. Personally do want the Lucanis romance to kick off earlier in the game, but he is one of the hardest ones to romance for good reason and it made sense for the character. I miss importing decisions but to be fair, the choices I made in origins wouldn't have shown up that much in veilguard, except maybe Kieran being in the background of some scenes at a stretch, but mostly for inquisition and Hawke. Varric obviously sees a lot of Hawke in Rook (just look at the dialogue wheel) and I wish we got to hear Isabella talk about them.

But these are so little. I have way more complaints about inquisition but I will still play it. I can acknowledge the flaws but if you hold it, or origins on a pedestal, that's just embarrassing for you, that you're stuck on a game, instead of being stuck on the series, in an excellent fantasy setting that keeps being expanded on.

Veilguard let's us say goodbye to Solas in the best way. There was NEVER going to be a happy end for him. Stop deluding yourself that the inquisitor and Solas would have rode off into the sunset. It's frankly embarrassing that themes from inquisition and veilguard flew over your head if you beloved that.

I've seen this same anguish over a sequel and it was for 2, after origins. Now 2 isn't the perfect game. It doesn't even have a proper title. But 2, a decade later, is well loved. It's full of jank, it's got strange coding, but the story has a lot of love. But it wasn't origins, so fans wailed and pissed. But it's a fan favourite these days and Hawke is deeply beloved and remembered fondly to the point that the possibility of their death in inquisition made an impact.

So, basically, get over yourself. None of these games are perfect and yes it took 10 years but I love it. I get to play as a crow for the first time, a faction I've loved since Zevran was able to rizz himself out of being killed. You can play as a Warden again, for the first time since Origins. Griffins are back and they're adorable. Their quest is heart breaking and anxiety inducing. You can play as new factions, ones we didn't fuck around with before, the shadow dragons, the mourn watchers, the veil jumpers. We get several amazing romances, that feel in character. Everyone is bisexual again but have clear preferences. Bellara has a preference for women, Emmerich has a preference for men, Lucanis has Never being in relationship. Taash and Harding might get together, Lucanis and Neve might get together. We get a companion that's trans, we GET to be trans for the first time. In inquisition we have krem but the developers never thought we would want to be trans, so I will happily take what we can get. Could it be better? Always. But I'm not stuck in 2014.

Take off your rose tinted glasses and go fuck that old man and maybe you'll lighten up.

[rathologic]

it's frustrating because aglaya is already villainized by nearly all the characters in patho2 (yulia as the slight exception), and the point of this is that you, the player character, are asked to approach this fellow person trapped in an impossible situation with grace instead. the Haruspex, a character who is fundamentally about extending his love to everyone in the game (as described by the devs!) has the ability to extend love, platonic or not, to her! logical! so seeing people talk about how much they hate her IN PATHO2 is like extremely jarring.

aglaya never does anything to harm the player in p2 (boring choice, but that's not my point); the closest thing would be that she causes fan favorite badgrief to have a lasting personal crisis. but a lot of the violent hatred towards her instead seems to stem from her flirting with you...? and it's always visceral want to see her dead kind of hatred. sorry people can't handle a woman in a position of authority speaking somewhat impolitely to them but the "flirting" part does really bug me so I'll get into that

the single major change p2 implemented to aglaya's story was that the Haruspex can meaningfully be on her side by agreeing to her request to leave the town together. it's weird to see that disparaged by fans for her using the imagery of romantic attachment, while the player's never forced to use the same imagery in return. the escape's not "you instantly fall in love with each other and run away" it's about a way of reacting to the fate imposed on both of you by the narrative: pathologic 2 simply describes fate through the lens of romance, re: nara and the brides, re: "a fate like a good wife, emshen... your wife" (re: the option to call aglaya your wife on the train).

& there's a fascinating meta aspect to the fact she can tell the haruspex as the player has the ability to make this choice, to be the only person in the world who Could not villainize her, and maybe even help her under an extremely short time limit. her expressing attraction to the haruspex (through a reflection, even) is for once not a weird misogyny thing but a reasonable way of parsing her feelings and needs into something that you might listen to! it fits within the societal framework expected in the game, and adds a discussion of romantic love to p2's dissection of the ideal of love in general; "discussion" meaning it is given to the player to see how you feel about it, and remains open-ended.

then she doesn't even make it and replaying you Know she'll never even make it which lends all the more meaning to choosing to flee with her. since patho2 is a game at its core about symbolic choices representing love + what it means to the player to choose to undergo challenges for no extrinsic rewards! her whole quest is a microcosm of key themes of patho2 (aka: "udurgh"), and potentially, a moment of respite and genuine friendship during one of its most stressful phases. if someone felt strung along by it I have great news for them about the final impact of every other quest in the game

and furthermore the connections she sees between herself and the haruspex are genuinely there. they're both trapped in the game they both will cease to exist after it and meaning is derived, both for the player and for her ("touch me with your words"), from choosing to fight the inevitable however briefly instead of just submitting to death - and love being the only driving force that can motivate that choice. how did you miss the point about love when it's the only point the game ever makes.

[yellowocaballero]

You played the golden deer route!! (I think?) What's been your thoughts so far just like in general but also in comparison to blue lions? Claude and the golden deer are just so fun!!

I have not finished yet! Yes I am like 5/6ths done with the Golden Deer fic. I did something that I really shouldn't do, which is like consume 1/4th of the media and go "okay I could make a fanfic out of this" and then write a long-ass fic just based off initial impressions (this is how Theater of the Absurd happened - if you're wondering why everybody was so drastically out of character, that's why). I'm still only mostly done with the Academy phase, so no spoilers!

Thoughts so far? Claude is so funny. I am genuinely so, so fascinated by him. He's one of those characters who clearly has an entire existence and situation and insanity and you're just barely privy to the surface of it. Our C support is me walking into his room (why did I do that?) as he concocts poisons. He's a mad scientist. He wants to dissect his friends like they're insects. He's incredibly self-absorbed. He's convinced he's the smartest person in the room. He's on his gap year and he's taking a vacation with the white people and the country he leads is not his biggest priority. He wakes up in the morning, looks at himself in the mirror, and says "I'm a SCHEMER I'm a TRICKSTER I'm IMPENETRABLE I'm NOT LONELY". He has a biracial narrative and it's left him with a superiority complex because the alternative is to always be inferior. He'd be a better leader if he cared more.

I love Hilda also. She's so cunning but so kind, and her competence is underlined by her severe self-esteem issues. I haven't really connected with most of the Golden Deer - their ensemble narrative is not NEARLY as strong as the Blue Lions or Ashen Wolves. They aren't all part of the same story, I feel like. I'm still working on their supports (which are mostly C and some B right now...I kinda substituted most of them on the battlefield for the AW...sorry I have faves). Most of them are either a little annoying or uninteresting...Lysithea baby girl...Lorenz is actually deeply Felix coded in that he's kinda the sanest. He cares about all of the actually important things that nobody else cares about when they really should, and a lot of unimportant things,

I didn't expect this to happen, but Claude as your BFF actually deeply underscores how 1) Dimitri is insanely in love with you, and 2) Dimitri's bugfuck. Claude's so normal about everything. Makes me go "Wow Dimitri was normal about fucking nothing".

I'm looking forward to the War Phase and seeing how things change. These kids are fucking disasters in their lives and to each other, which mirrors their disaster country. Right now Claude's the most fascinating aspect to me. I'm not plugged into the fandom, but from what I can see his complexity and depth is kind of slept on - he has a comic relief role in dynamics, but I can already tell it's pretty constructed. Writing him as a jokester is like writing Dimitri as a preppy, perfect, adorably awkward nerd. Yes, that is a major part of how they present themselves to the public. I can't entirely call it a lie. But if you think that those performances are genuine, then you're buying what they're selling. Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard are liars, and if you stay surface level in your depiction you're scrubbing out what makes them good characters. Also, especially in Dima's case, The Point

[katherineholmes]

Many Caroline fans are always calling Elena a "bitch" for falling in love with Damon even though (according to them) Elena was aware of the sexual abuse Caroline suffered when she was under Damon's compulsion. However, I see virtually no Caroline fans complaining about how fucking selfish and cruel Caroline was to have sex with Klaus, even though he was responsible for making Elena's life a living hell. Not only did he kill Jenna in front of Elena, but he also tried to kill Jeremy, KILLED ELENA in the ritual, forced Isobel to kill herself in front of Elena for the sheer cruelty of doing so, and also made Tyler his slave and then killed Carol.

And in fact, Elena is ALSO another r@pe victim of Damon. I have nothing against Caroline, but her fans are extremely sexist and even misogynistic when it comes to Elena or even Bonnie.

Trigger Warning : Discussions of non-con, abuse.

Okay, first of all, hello, I got this ask such a long time back, and I'm really sorry about how long it has taken me answer it.

So, I wanna break this down before I answer this. All three of them - Bonnie, Caroline and Elena are victims of the vampires on the show. And pretty much everyone on the show has been wronged by someone or the other, even Klaus. All I'm trying to say is that the show itself pits a lot of victims, especially female victims, against each other. Mostly in order to prop up men, which is why I think that TVD is rooted in misogyny.

So I'm not going to blame either Caroline or Elena, but the message you sent is very compelling, and I want to dissect it a bit.

The 'Delena' of it

Let's get to the root of it - is Elena selfish for loving Damon? I recently saw a similar question on Reddit (two minutes of silence for the time I waste lurking on that site), and I honestly could not even read it, because of some of the takes I saw. But the root of it is this - Elena is traumatised teenager trying to hold on to every last person she has left.

I saw a meta about Elena having prolonged grief, and I agree, it feels as if her grief and her survivors guilt, is almost pathological. Within the show, she seeks one particular thing from her parter - immortality. Her entire family, with the exception of Jeremy, is dead. Of these she has seen her parents, Isobel and Jenna die in front of her. It is not only grief that she feels over these losses, it's also helpless, desperation, and a lot of trauma. In these situations, she essentially a person watching a train crash - on the sidelines, desperate to help them and save them, but helpless to do so.

Because of this trauma, she seeks to include people in her life that are immortal, and hard to kill. Be it Stefan, Damon, Caroline and Bonnie who's a powerful witch, as opposed to sending away Jeremy - someone who's mortal and can be hurt. She actively keeps an inner circle of supernatural beings around her because it's hard to lose them, and tries to distance the mortal ones - like Matt and April.

So it makes sense, that when she feels that she can't be with Stefan any longer, she is drawn towards Damon. Damon who takes the notion of death lightly, and plays with it, and has survived a lot. (A lot of this has to do with the sire bond, but we'll get into that some other day). But as it is, Elena feels safe with Damon because he is tough to kill, and it isn't selfish for anyone, let alone her, to seek security within a relationship. And to her, security is to not go through that grief or pain again.

Damon and his abuse of Caroline

Having said what I just did about Elena feeling secure with Damon, that's mainly according to her priorities and her specific trauma. Because yes, watching someone die, or being a spectator to trauma is also traumatic.

But, Damon isn't really safe, for anyone. Not even Elena. But he was particularly unsafe for Caroline. When we first see Damon meet Caroline, we see him charming her (because a seventeen year old girl is easy to charm), we see him flirting with her and going back to sleep with her. The scene then cuts to Damon biting Caroline and feeding on her - in the middle of sex. And she is traumatised, at which point he compels her and presumably this goes on. In the morning, she tries to run, he compels her again and then they go back out, behaving like a couple.

Now, the show runners themselves have never, ever acknowledged this as rape but it is rape. And we can see that, but Caroline never calls it rape - because she can't, and every time, Damon's abuse of Caroline is brought up, it is called abuse. It's said that Caroline is Damon's 'blood bag', she herself says that and calls herself his errand boy, but nobody ever calls it rape.

When Elena asks Stefan what Damon is doing to Caroline, he says that Damon is compelling her to feed on her. And we never see Elena and Caroline talking about it. So, in terms of the material that we have been presented with, we can conclude that Elena doesn't realise that Damon raped Caroline, because here's the thing, nobody on the show ever calls it rape. Not just in regards to Damon and Caroline, but in regards to Damon and Andy as well. Or Katherine and Stefan.

In a nutshell, TVD has a lot of consent issues, and straight up non-con, but it never addresses that, the narrative itself doesn't, and so we cannot hold a single character responsible for not seeing it. And if we can, then where is this energy when it comes to holding Stefan responsible for enabling Damon? Or Alaric - the grown man who hangs out with a rapist?

The 'Klaroline' of it

Klaus is the worst. He's a killer, he enjoys physically and psychologically torturing people, he literally enslaved his hybrids, then killed said hybrids just because they wanted to be free, killed his mother (who admittedly isn't mother of the year either), carted his siblings in boxes, and laughed when Finn expressed his trauma from being daggered for nine hundred years. Klaus is horrible, but he's arguably one of the best characters on the show, and is probably the best villain.

But he showers Caroline with affection. A lot of it, I think at least at the beginning, is love bombing. And while Caroline isn't amused by it, she is a little enamoured by it. She really is attracted to him, and doesn't like it. The thing is, Klaus is a lot like Damon, but he also cares about Caroline, and saves her life. Caroline is also traumatised, and has this belief that she'll never be anyones first priority - and I'll be absolutely clear on this, I'm not saying that Caroline isn't anyone's first priority, I'm saying that Caroline thinks so, and whether it's true or not isn't relevant to this particular conversation.

But Klaus at certain points, prioritises Caroline. And she's enamoured by this. When they fuck in the woods, he is only there for a day, and she wants to fulfil her desires, and maybe, get it out of her system, see what it's like. But, and I'm not sure of this, I haven't seen it discussed anywhere nor do I know Caroline's character enough to know if this is true, but I think sleeping with Klaus is Caroline's way of feeling in control.

Klaus is a lot worse than Damon, and she wants to feel in control with him, the kind of control she never had with Damon, as part of a trauma response. I'm not saying it's only a trauma response, but that part of it is. It's okay if anyone disagrees with this, or anything in this post, but this is my opinion. But, in either case, I'm not going to call it selfish.

There is a larger discussion here about what is selfishness, and it's always bad to be selfish, and whether or not a character being selfish should be a hindrance to liking them, but I digress. That's for another discussion.

Damon and his abuse of Elena

In episode 1x03 or 1x04 of TVD, Damon compels Elena to kiss him, but she's wearing vervain, so she doesn't get compelled. But honestly, Damon was so in love with Katherine, that he could've done anything to Elena simply because they look alike. In s2, he tries to break her hand, and physically abuses her, and throughout her relationship with Stefan and s3, he continually hits on her. In the end, she has no choice but to accept his behaviour.

In s4, he tricks her into blood sharing, and sleeps with her when she's sired to him. It's definitely sexual abuse, dub-con at best, but it isn't discussed because that clusterfuck of a plot point, the sire bond, is fucking weird. Elena is basically enslaved to Damon, like the hybrids are to Klaus, and no consent in this situation can ever be freely given.

So, I agree, Damon abuses Elena but it is never addressed, because the sire bond is presented, according to narrative, as a romantic thing.

In conclusion, a lot of TVD is rooted in misogyny, in fact the entire concept of 'who deserves Elena' is highly misogynistic because it treats Elena as an object to be coveted rather than a person. And so, it makes that quite a few fans are also misogynistic, but there's nothing we can do about it. Like I understand your frustration, and I'm right with you about Elena being hated for the most ridiculous reason, and I wish there was something we could do about it, but there isn't.

Thank you so much for sending this ask, it got me thinking about a lot of things, especially cause I'm neither a Klaroline nor a Delena shipper.

[retrotrait]

wait last anon got my attention and ive also been wanting to send you a long ass ask dissecting simon's behavior lol~ also cw this talks about drug abuse!

I don't want to be a simon shooter, but I feel like he deserves empathy considering he abuses substances and has trauma from his childhood. Not to excuse his behavior at all. I feel for anani and simon because i was in a relationship with someone who abused substances (xanax) this was in my senior yr of high school & it sucked seeing someone you care about constantly high of their ass vs. the person you met. The drugs affect not only the person, but the people around them and its awful.

There is such a stigma towards people who abuse substances (I personally dont like to use the word addict thats just me tho!!) I feel like people tend to think ppl who abuse drugs act out on purpose and want to purposely hurt their loved ones, when that isnt the case.

Anani was without a doubt, simon's diamond in the rough. It does make me feel a certain was that his mother called her to BASICALLY, fix her son. Girl.............that is your child, Im pretty sure his mother asked her to "get him help" because she couldnt face the music, she couldnt see history repeat itself, but you cannot send someone over that he hurt so many times to fix things.

I believe Anani continuously stayed by his side because she thinks itll be different everytime. She could fix him, its possible in her eyes because of their bond, but that is not true at all. He needs to realize for himself that he needs help. If he cares about the people he loves he would go and get help. Anani is def a push over in this case (im sorry my queen PLS STAND UP I KNO U LOVE HIM BUT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS STAND UP!!)

I dont think its possible for them to have a platonic friendship after everything, but I do believe Simon needs a good support system around him and MAYBE anani could be apart of that support system...minus the physical bc from what it seems, simon uses Anani like temporary medicine to ease his pain & it hurts to see Anani care and love him, but get hurt in the end :c

I love what you're doing with this story & I am so excited for what is yet to come. <3

You couldn't be righter and the number one reason I created an OC with substance abuse problems is because I know how one sided it can be for people to misjudge them, even the people who love them. It's not as easy as quit and get better and I wanted that to reflect who Simon is.

Anani became that drug replacement for him as well and even loving someone to that extent can be unhealthy because without them you don't know who you are (also a reason why he left in the first time around) the town, his parents, even Anani, he needed to separate himself from becoming the person his brother was but unfortunately, it's not easy when you're in that party/rockstar lifestyle. He's stuck be

To Anani, he also became like a drug, someone who filled that musical emptiness that her mom's passing left. Like you said, she wants to fix him, it's in her nature and him knowing that makes walking away a little bit easier to understand, however wrong it was to do it in that situation. It's very on brand for him the "not wanting to hurt someone while hurting them."

I think their relationship thrives on that push and pull, that "I hate you but I love you." I just don't know if it would work if they were ever just good to each other without the toxic-ness.

<333 ILY and thank you for sending this amazing dissection of these characters.

[lizzzylovee]

Eywa’s Vision

Chapter 4: In Pursuit

Summary: “Born with the ability to receive visions of the future, Kani must choose to abandon what she knows to aid in Navi that she's never met.“

MDNI

AN: This really ran away from me lol. I had to force myself to stop. Hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it

CW: cussing, vulgar language, degrading comments, choking, mention of weapons, fighting, mention of wounds, jealousy, smut-ish (we’re almost there I promise T.T) threatening

 if I forget any I’m sorry!

Wk- 7.5 sheeesh

Masterlist

Prev. Chapter 3: First Impressions        Next: Chapter 5: Bittersweet Jubilee

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Running fingers through the soft grass laid underneath, Kani inhaled deeply, almost as if the more air in her lungs would help counter the feelings nestled deep in her chest. Many weeks have passed from their arrival, each day a hard and long testament of integrating their way   into the clan.She wasn’t stupid, she was aware how most felt. They were outsiders, from a different clan that showed up seemingly on a  whim to invade their home. Her family was aware of the reason for the clan's ignorance, as it would do no help to expose that there was an incoming war against sky people after years of peace and content.  

Though, even with that knowledge, it didn’t help shoulder the burden any better. She thanks Eywa everyday for the strength and love of her family, trying not to think about her original plan of shouldering this heaviness on her own. Her mind continues to reel, as she is very conscious that it is not only the support of her family that keeps her afloat, but the presence of the high ranking family, one in particular,  more than the others.Being in a constant loop of ‘don’t stop, keep going’, Kani thinks back on the instances that brought her to this outcome, dissecting then into pieces and picking out identifying factors.

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After their first impression of their family hunt to provide for the clan, Kani was approached by Jake, two sons following suit. He had heard all of the details about the hunt from his sons, and gave thanks and praise for their abilities. Graciously accepting, Kani offered services whenever needed, knowing it would take more than a single hunt for  acceptance in the clan. And while it isn’t acceptance that she craved for her own personal reasons, because at the end of the day she didn’t give damn if others didn’t like her, it was more of knowing that if they fought alongside each other one day, it would be nice knowing that they  were at least fighting on the same side civilly.

Now if she knew  offering her services meant waking up earlier than should be socially  acceptable, standing in front of a large group of men,teaching them the  ways of aerial hunting, she might have felt tempter to lie on her abilities. Swallowing the lump,she hides her hesitation and starts to instruct the group. Making way to Neteyam and Lo’ak, she first asks how  their usual training set up is performed. Neteyam is quick to instruct  the men, Lo’ak following along as he didn’t feel the need to boast with  Mai’s presence lacking.

Taking a few moments to sit back and  observe, she was happy to find most were very proficient in the art of  archery. After making a few deciding factors, she quietly goes up to a  single target, easily taking it off the post and with a few strides  attaches it farther. Neteyam quickly picks up the situation, he fires at  the target, his men following along. Once satisfied with the  proficiency at that distance, she calls for her Ikran. Taking extra rope  located by a pile of supplies, she brushes off the confused and curious gazes shooting her way, she attaches said target to the end of the long  rope. Once secured she lifts off, dragging the target along until it  too lifts off the ground. Going at the height of one of the trees, she  instructs the men to take aim, going in groups, least one accidentally  misses and shoots her out of the sky.

The practice continues,  with higher and higher distance, pushing the warriors to hone in their  skills of longer range shots. Only when the target is nearly in pieces does she land. Many men are breathing hard, arms slightly quaking from  the use of the bows. While it seems more like child’s play to her, Kani  understands that for high distant shots, more force and strength is used  to ensure enough momentum for an effective kill. Noticing the state of the warriors, Kani looks at Neteyam, to which he catches on and calls  for a break, agreeing to continue once lunch is done.

With the warriors filing out, Kani strides over, ”So how come you are not falling  out as well? You seem almost the same as when we started.” Holding the canteens of water squatting down, he allows himself a smile, ”My  father often trains my brother and I in more vigorous training, very similar to his time as a warrior as sky people. Even though it is a pain  in the ass, it makes it more bearable. It also helps to have a teacher  worth looking at.”

Choosing to ignore his comment with a small smirk, Kani inspects the tools of weapons by his person, the spear in particular catching her eye. Trailing around him, she takes a lone finger, running it down the length of the weapon that rests against the tree. Even through the multiple gulps of water, Neteyam finds his mouth  bone dry. Sharp eyes watch her movement, she strains the dainty finger  down his weapon. His weapon. Made by his hands. He takes notice of her  small hands, though he has seen first hand how capable they are, can’t help but slightly swoon at how delicate it looks. While he always associated the extra finger with his family, he finds himself wondering just how different that one additional finger would feel. He has done his best the entirety of the morning to be on his best behavior, but watching the way she led his men, instructing and coaching, sharp eyes analyzing their movements, he was sure of two present feelings.

The first was the admiration he already had started to grow, watching her as  she showed just why she was one of the best, knowing and capable. The second, was the primal need to take her away from all the present males, his brother included, shielding her from their eyes. He knew it was  stupid, especially knowing his brother fancied another Kekunan female of his own, but knowing the warriors he has trained and hunted with for  nearly all his life, he was not ignorant to the weight of those stares, even if Kani cannot see so herself. Though the stares originally look nothing more than mere focus, most showing their original dislike of  having a foreigner, much less a woman, teaching them, they were still virile males at the end of the day.

 The swooping of eyes took in the parts of her that Neteyam wanted to selfishly keep to himself. While it was common to want a mate that was meeker, a female that submits, Neteyam came to the realization that watching Kani dominate in an area  that he leads, was the most arousing situation he’s been in. And by the  looks of the men around, it was clear he wasn’t alone. To meet a woman  that met his match, and then some, made him want to take her for himself.

Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, he observes the way Kani’s eyes take in the spear with interest.“Would you like me to teach you?”

Turning  to him, “We don’t use these that much, if at all in my clan. Very hard  to continue hunting in the skies if we lose our main weapon. I don’t  want to bother you, but if you’re willing to teach I’d be willing to try.”

Neteyam beams, standing tall before grabbing the spear. They walk further down the training grounds, coming on a spot partially hidden from view. Neteyam chose the spot for two reasons, the first being that no one can easily interrupt, the second is that it’s one of the only target posts intact enough to withstand the blow of the spear. (I don’t know how to wield a fucking spear, so for argument sakes, let’s  just play along lmfao) Coming around, Neteyam sets the spear down,  moving his attention to his student. Instructing her to get into a  position she would normally use when using her bow, he comes around her  making adjustments. Now Kani is a very capable warrior, able to take criticism when needed, but can admit that it has been many years  since she needed an instructor. Still, with the weight of his attention heavy on her shoulders, she can’t remember a time that her previous  teachers made her feel like this.

The instruction provided to fix her form was mild enough to shake the thoughts in her head. That is until he promptly hands her the spear. Not anticipating the weight of  the sturdy weapon, she loses balance only to have strong hands shoot out to catch her. Chuckling lowly to himself, he makes way behind her, laying his hand on hers that held the spear, using his strength to help ease her in holding it. His other hand ghosts her shoulders, applying pressure until she gets the hint to drop them. Once satisfied, his hand  trails down her back, slipping around her waist to settle on stomach, bracing her core.

She knows he’s talking, knows that he is talking and saying words, probably information needed on to actually use the damn thing, but she couldn’t make her ears work no matter what. Her  skin felt on fire, every place his fingers and hands touched burned. She felt the heat radiating off of him, knowing if he just leaned  forward a smidge, there’d be no space in between. For a female Navi, she  knew she was smaller than average, never thinking of the fact until now.

 He was big. Tall and lean, body sculpted through years of hard work  and practice, chiseled away into perfection. Strong muscles that could  protect and hold his own, strong muscles that could aid in putting her in any position he wanted. His scent made her lightheaded and dizzy, making her lashes and heart flutter in response. His hand sent heat into  her stomach, and not due to the temperature of them. Heated curled and  swirled, making her part her lips, slight panting from the sensation.

She knew, she knew that he knew, how he was making her feel. Moisture  gathered, itching in a way she hadn’t felt before, at least not this intense. It would only take him widening his large hand, his fingertip  ghosting the top of her loincloth, dipping under the fabric, only to  ghost his fingers over-

"Do you understand?"

Frozen, she was slow to respond, "Huh?"

Loud laughter breaks out, efficiently breaking the tension between the two. Stepping away, carrying the spear with him, Neteyam moves away from the  temptation, stepping back towards the tree. The warriors file back, many talking in camaraderie, Lo'ak bumping shoulders with a few off to the side. Clearing her throat, she makes way back to the clearing, coming  around the tree when a breeze blows her way before rounding out back to  the group.

Facing the group, Neteyam takes a deep breath, hoping to calm his nerves, only to have his body lock up. Keeping the air in his  lungs, a switch in his brain flickers on, taking in the information. The most intoxicating smell fills his nose, making way through his body, all of which respond almost instantly. His mouth waters, teeth clench tight, muscle relax only to tense back up as the information is  translated mindlessly, coming to the final conclusion; her arousal. He can smell it, can fucking smell her. Not only was her arousal the most  addicting thing he has ever come across, primal pride burst from his  chest knowing that it was for him. He did that, he caused her body to  call out to him that way.

 Curling into himself, he wills for the  strength, for the strength to not barge into the clearing, taking a hold of his claim and hiding her away, making her his in the only way he  knows how. Over taken with the need to make her his, the logical and less primitive part of his brains knows that there is more to it. While he knows now that she is affected by him as he is her, more effort needs to take place to win her over, mind more than body, regardless of how  much he wants her physically.

 His mind is turning over how he must do it, knowing it to be much more complicated than just proving to her that he can provide, as she has shown she can do so herself. Protecting her is something he would do without thought, though from the interactions he's had with her, it would most likely do more harm than good. Despite the show his body is putting on now, Neteyam was not a thoughtless man. 

He grew up in a home where love was shown daily, his parents ties obvious to everyone around.Thinking back to the stories told through the years, he can only chuckle without humor at the similarities. Here he  was in a situation, a hopeless man, proving himself to a woman well capable of taking care of her own. Neteyam was a fine warrior, this fact he knew but never boasted about. Well known through the clan,  that he would make a fine mate to the one chosen, having many great  attributes from both of his parents. With this well known fact, he was  never short in the woman department, much to the humor of his family. 

While he could have nearly any he wanted, it was she that had caught his  attention. It was she that made him open his eyes for the first time, the possibility of having a priority over his clan, duty, and family. He wasn't the type to doubt himself, and after thinking on the changes that have recently happened in his life, he didn't doubt the choice he had made. She was going to be his.

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After the training encounter, time passed by until Kani realized the lack of his presence. It hit her suddenly, making her eyebrows furrow as she pondered. She knows that she has seen him in passing, greeting each other respectful, knowing each of them were busy with their duties to the clan.

She knows he is okay, as she has asked his brother, when he attempts to sneak quietly into their hut to see Mai. Laughing at the look on his face, he attempts to come up with a far fetched reason for his appearance late at night, only for her to stop and reassure him that  she is already aware as Mai had Zute sleep in her room. Beaming happily, he nods gratefully, whisking Mai back to her room.

 Now Kani was very happy for her sweet, if not socially awkward best friend. Meeting  each other long ago, she would always joke that she would never need to  find a mate, when Mai was the other half of her soul. Though, she   scrunches her nose, knowing she does feel a slight amount of jealousy.

Leaves thrown in her face break her of her thoughts. Turning towards the   offender, she sees not only her best friend, but her sisters standing a few feet away, looking around, making fake faces of curiosity around them. Lifting up her middle finger, Kani playfully rolls her eyes and focuses on the task at hand. Taking a handful of the small fruit, she puts it in her basket on her hip, making quick work of the section she was in. The girls are talking, mindless chatter to pass the time until a  topic reaches her ears.

"So when is the mystery boy going to stop sneaking in, in the middle of the night and actually come to dinner?"

Eyes widened, she turns to see Tal'i smirking to herself, continuing on with picking fruit without acknowledging the sputtering female besides her.  Kani locks eyes with Naya'il, both pursing their lips, trying hard not to let their laughter escape.

While her oldest brother Heatey was strong  and self assured, if not a little silent and a bit of a hardass, Tal'i  was obnoxious and boisterous, quick to point out the happenings of the  family, while always coming up with different styles for clothes and  hair.

Naya'il was a soft spoken soul, motherly in everything she  did. She had a way of making you feel seen, and that is what attracted  her mate Tsuten in the first place. Much like Heatey, he was strong and  silent, but doted on Naya'il in every way, and then extended the same  grace to her family.

Both women are dear to her heart, it only makes her even more amused to see Mai being pulled into their antics. Mai silent but sweet soul, being able to see a person's true colors quicker than those around, and while her silence threw some off, it seemed to  invite even more in, as she had an uncanny way of gaining secrets and  information, simply because people like to talk to someone willing to listen. Laughing to herself, Kani recalls many occasions where the two  would bask in each others presence, Mai sharing the information and then  laughing about it together.

Looking back at Mai, she was certain the girl would explode of embarrassment, "I hate you guys." grumbling at the group, looking away. They only respond with more laughter, not  worrying about prying ears, simply knowing that while they assist the best that they can, the clan still seems to give the strange family a  large berth. Knowing that Mai was a naturally secretive person, it only made sense for her to stumble when her truths were revealed, though she will have to pull Lo'ak aside, to reprimand him on his inability to be fucking quiet, and secure a promise that he wont hurt her best friend, even with him being clearly smitten with girl.

"Don't worry, I managed  to trick Heatey from finding out, and while I want to say that you owe and it was hard work, I definitely enjoyed the outcome of keeping his  attention on me." Tal'i sends a wink Mai's way.

Scrunching her  nose, Kani was grossed, "Eww, lets not forget that's my brother." Walking away from her childish crew, Kani shakes her head, dropping off  her full basket of collected fruits, to pick up an empty one.Tired of  bending down by the bushes for so long, she opts towards the tree line, eyes gazed up to find her next picking spot. Wandering a ways away from  her original position from her family, she notes a tree with many trees up top.

Kani was not stranger to climbing, it was needed in her favorite pastimes, and with a little bit of maneuvering, she managed to  perch herself and her basket up high. Getting comfortable in her spot  she resumes the mindless task of fruit picking. Taking note once again of his absence, it seemed as if Neteyam was purposely avoiding her. Where she went, he went the opposite. Where she walked, he stayed, almost preventing them from meeting. And while this shouldn't have bothered her, it bothered her even more to know that it did.

There were  many fine men in her clan, but it just never seemed to be the time to  engage with them on that level. She always tried to be honest with  herself, and even though she was aware that yes, she was attracted to  him physically, almost as if hers called out to him, she was confused on  where that left her emotionally. There were many attributes he has shown that made her admire him, knowing that he was a great candidate, but a few things made her stop.

One, was that she would refuse to only be with a man based on title and status, she wanted the love her parents had, and knew it wouldn't blossom if those were what she was searching  for.

Two, was that while he took his time to show interest in her, and  was aware that he might even be attracted to her on a physical level, she was unsure where he stood emotionally.

 And three, after naming off the previous reasons, she thought of the fact that while her thoughts were consumed by him, he may not even feel the same.

Not to be the one that sits around and waits for a man to show, she had to remind  herself that if he wanted to, he would. And if it is she that he wants, then more effort would be needed in showing that fact. Resolving herself around the thought, a flicker of movement makes her eyes dart. With the  help of the elevation provided by the tree she was currently in, she had a near perfect view of the training grounds she attended what felt like a lifetime ago.

With eyes used to the strain needed to see far away, she made out a handful of warriors, seeming to be immersed in  training. All but a few. She first spots a group of girls, in what seemed like target practice. Eyes following along, they seemed to have decent aim. Taking note, she follows the line of warriors, until landing  on him. Speak of the fucking devil. Flawlessly shooting at the  target post, he rolls his neck and then shoulders, laughing at the guys  around. Noticing his carefree manner, her eyes track on the figures  approaching them. Watching their body language intently, with no way of  knowing what they are saying, the girls bodies lean in towards the guys, angling themself in such a way that would be obvious to anyone their  true intentions. Following along, her nose scrunches when one of  Neteyams hands lifts up, only to rest on a girls shoulders.

Face  pinched, Kani looks away. She didn't a right to feel this way, to feel this type of jealousy. He was just a man, a man that held no ties  to her. What did she think? That just because of their interactions, that she had a right to hold a claim on him? It wasn't uncommon for men unmated to fool around, though some women choose to do the opposite, keeping that part of themselves for the person they tied their life to, herself included. Not for the  main reason of the 'purity' factor,  because she be damned if someone tried to push their unrealistic  expectations of women on her, but for the reason of that she never had the fucking time. Grumbling to herself, she was very unaware of said male  making his way silently underneath. Passing by the tree that  unknowingly house the heart of his desires, he continued past, until a thump behind him made him stop. Ears turned back, he peers around to see  a piece of fruit behind him. Curious, he makes way over, only to look  up and lock eyes with the original pick of said fruit.

Smiling, he gestures down with his hand. A rustle of leaves and another dropped  fruit later, Kani appears. Bending down to grab onto the one on the floor, she nods her head in greeting, only side step around him. Smile quickly falling, he trails  after her.

"What is wrong?"

She  scoffs, "Nothing is wrong. Why does a male think that just because a  woman isn't falling out on their feet, that something is wrong."

Surprised, "What men have you been around that just have women falling on their feet?" he inquires.

"You  should know that question, seeming as it happens to you fairly often."  with a flick of hair over her shoulder, she continues without sparing him a glance.

Frustrated at the turn of events, he gently grabs her arm not holding the basket on her hip, turning her around. Ripping  her arm away said man, she glares, eyes glued to his looking up through long lashes.

Light bulb.

"Have you been watching me?"

"As  a matter of fact, I was picking fruit, minding my business. It is not my fault that their blatant  motives were big enough for me to see miles away. I simply choose to do something better with my time, actually  doing something instead of being a lovesick fool grasping at your ankles. And do not touch me, not with the same hand you touched her."  finishing with a huff, she trails back off.

Taking a second to gather his thoughts, and being mindful of keeping his hands to himself, if he  wants to keep it, he calls out, "You're jealous."

Halting in her steps, legs locked,she turns her head to the side, curtain of hair  shielding her expressions from him, "I don't have a damn thing to be  jealous about. Those bitches can't even compare to a small amount of me. Unlike them, I know my worth, and I refuse to dumb myself down for a  man, less of all make myself small for their comfort."

Taking off, fully  prepared to argue her case, in case he chooses to rebuttal, a simple  "You are correct." was enough to stop her.

She refuses to turn around, refuses to show him the true extent of emotions brewing inside of her.  Fiddling with the basket in her hold, taking it from her hip to rest it  in front of her, fingers fiddling with the frayed edges of the handle.

"You  are not like them, and to compare would simply be an insult to your  person. Where they are weak, you are strong. Your time here has shown  everyone of that fact, whether they choose to see it is their own fault.  You work hard, striving effortlessly through the duties asked of you,  where they make themselves small, crumbling in your shadow. You are  fierce, confident, headstrong with all oppositions. You love those  around you endlessly, protecting them from the brunt of what my clan has  put you through, and for that all I can do is apologize.

“I apologize  for the treatment shown to you and your family, and to apologize on not  making my intentions clear," warmth hits her back, a ghost of a breath  hits her ear, "those girls could not hold a candle to the way my entire  being seems to move for you. You are the center of my desires, from the  break of eclipse, down to the last thought that enters my head at  night," warm, rough hands trail from her forearms, making way to her  shoulders, "You have captured me, mind, body and soul," gathering her  hair in one hand, pushing way to expose a lone shoulder, feather light  touches caress her skin, "and it would do you best to keep this in mind, yawne."

Pressing his body into her, touching more skin than done ever before, he leans over, holding the position for a beat too long, only to  step away a second later.

Fluttering her eyes open, only with a passing thought of wondering when they even closed, her ears twitched, hearing a series of muted footsteps, before ceasing completely. Chancing a glimpse around, only to come up with the fact that she was left  alone. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ She was avoiding him.  Knowing better than to sit there and lie to herself, she acknowledges the fact. Her mind was stuck. Stuck on the fact that when she pledged to  see the war through, she never imagined finding herself being courted  by next clan leader. He wanted her. Her. Don’t get her wrong, she was  aware of her worth and confident in her capabilities, but after going so  long being content in the solitude of being mateless, to be pursued by a  man that actually managed to catch her eyes was a new feeling  entirely.

She always saw him. Not in the physical sense, but it  felt as if she could see into him, only to see a reflection of herself.  The way he loved and dedicated himself to his family, to his clan. He  helped wherever he could, not hesitating to step in. He carried himself  with pride, leading the warriors under him. He took the blame for his  brother many times, taking the scolding from his father without a second  thought.While she was busy trying to integrate into the clan, him and his family integrated into hers.

Taking a mental step back, she tried to get the facts straight. She knew she was attracted to him, and  knew that she liked the type of man that he was, yet she couldn’t face  the actual idea of them being together. Couldn’t imagine letting him in close enough to actually hold her heart.

“I’m pretty sure powder is fine enough by now.”

Eyes clearing, she sees the medical leaves she was tasked with grinding was   already turned into a fine powder. Setting the pestle and mortar down,  she leans back on her hands.With no one needing any actual  assistance today, Kani found herself in the healing tent, mostly with the intent of being around Kiri and Mai, but to also escape from being found by the very man she can’t get out of her head.

 Knowing that while healing was not one of her specialties, she offered to help hoping to  clear her mind. Kiri and Mai had hit it off upon meeting each other. Two kind souls, and after growing up around her family, Mai didn’t bat an eye to the different features of Kiri, and was genuinely interested in the topics Kiri would bring up. They were two peas in a pod, naturally more private than others. Kani liked Kiri, while she was a lot like Mai, she had a smart tongue, a testament of growing up with brothers, which Kani found to like and admire.

Scanning the contents of the hut, “Where is the Tsahik?”

Kiri hummed, “She is helping my parents with the preparations of the upcoming festival for the raining season.”

Nodding  to herself, she continues to look around, half paying attention to the conversation of the other girls. Allowing herself the opportunity to clear her mind, she closes her eyes to bask in the tranquility of room.

All good things never last long as the opening of the hut is pushed open, only to reveal the newcomers. Lazily lifting an eye, she stares at the sight of Lo’ak and her brother. During their time in the clan, the two boys developed a friendship that brought more headache to others around them. Zernem and Lo’ak, were in other terms, two jackass best friends. A bromance unrivaled, with what seems like a single brain cell bouncing  back and forth from each other, only to be lost in travel on multiple occasions.

With  their presence, Kani wasn’t surprised to see them together, knowing  Lo’ak was here to probably whisk Mai way, but she was surprised to see Zernem do the same to Kiri. Rising her eyebrows, she meets the eyes of  Mai as the two couples make their way out of the tent, barely catching Mai mouthing to her that she’ll tell her about it later.

Shaking  her head, she moves to put the items abandoned on the floor. She didn’t  want to be the one yelled at for the disarray of the tent, especially  since she is the only one to occupy it currently. Almost done with her task, she barely hears the tarp opening again. Catching the profile of  the person out the corner of her eye, she nearly drops the jar out of surprise. Of course it’s the only person in the whole clan that she’s made it her personal mission to avoid.

Looking at him head on, the frustration she felt was quickly replaced by panic as she takes in  his appearance. Body covered in dirt, multiple cuts on his body, bruises  already forming, with a cut on his lip.

Neteyam felt his body  twitch with residual adrenaline. Coming across the girl that avoided him at every turn, seemed to make something click in his brain. He knew it  wouldn’t be easy getting her to be his, and majority of him was eager  for the chase, having been a hunter for a long time. Seeing her now, all alone, made him forget about what brought him in the healing tent in  the first place.The primal part of him screamed to corner her, force  her to face him and to stop running away, tired of her avoidance.

Connecting the dots that since she was the only one in the healing tent, she would  be the one to heal him. Caught up in her thoughts, she gestures to the  closest mat, not taking note of how high strung his body was.

Striding  over with calculated steps, he settles onto the mat, legs bent and  propping up his arms. Kani looks at the medicine available, grabbing  what she has seen Kiri use in the past, making her way towards the male observing her. She doesn’t make eye contact, only grabbing the rag  and fresh water by the mat to start the process of cleaning the wounds,  trying her best to ignore the stare searing into her body.

“What happened.”

“Just a small disagreement.”

He  couldn’t tell her that the reason he came in looking this way was due to fighting two of his own clan members. He was wrapping up his  training, making way to the weapon tent only to overhear a conversation between the two men inside.

"I'm telling you, I heard from some guys that she's easy as hell, that 'hard to get' attitude is just for show."

"Regardless if its true or not, she wouldn't let you fuck."

"I'd have that bitch turned out, her and the rest of those bitches in her family."

"They fine as hell but the older two got mates, and Kani doesn't shut the fuck up."

"The talking doesn't bother me bro, I'd just choke her ass out till she stops talking."

One second he was outside the opening of the hut, the next moment his fist  was smashing repeatedly into the guy's face. He was seeing red, unwilling to stop his actions, their words playing on repeat in his head. What seemed like eternity, but in reality was only a few seconds, Neteyam was yanked off, the force of momentum caused both him and the one holding him to fall to the ground. Finding himself underneath the offender, he throws his arm up blocking his face. Taking advantage of the second the guy takes to pull back his arm, Neteyam quickly threw his  weight against him, rolling over to throw a punch of his own. They grapple against one another, Neteyam holding his own, giving blows back harder than the ones he receives.The disturbance of the fight caught the attention of those around quickly.  Neteyam only heard the rustling the second before he found himself lifted off the guy.

Struggling in the hold, his efforts stopped  immediately once he realized exactly who stepped in. Now while Neteyam's  size was impressive, it dwarfed in comparison to Kani's oldest brother, Heatey. Strong arms wrapped around his midsection, lifting him off the  ground, seemingly with ease as he showed no sign of exertion.

 "Calm  down, I got you."

Neteyam tried to calm his  racing heart, throwing his hands up in surrender, taking notice that Kani and Heatey's brother in law, Tsuten, was holding onto the other  fighter. Noticing the lack of struggle from Neteyam, Heatey was quick to  take him out of the room, putting as much distance as possible between them. Setting him down, Heatey didn't say anything, allowing Neteyam the chance to pace, walking off the adrenaline that was coursing through  his system.

Even with the situation diffused, many others gathered  around, attempting to get information out of what happened, as it wasn't  everyday that the future clan leader got into a fight, instead he was known for being a peacekeeper. The crowd soon made way, to leave Jake standing before his son. Not saying a word, a heavy hand was clasped on top of his shoulder, Neteyam following the tight grip of his father knowing better than to try and shake it off.

Walking  away from prying ears, Jake turns Neteyam around forcing him to face  him, "What the fuck was that? Never had I had to worry about my oldest son starting fights, thinking that you would be smart enough to understand the fact that one day, you'll be the one leading the people. Yet, instead I find that not only did you beat the shit out of not one,  but two of your clan members!"

Taking a deep breath, he continues,  "What's going on? You never act like this, so what triggered you like that?"

Lifting a hand to wipe the blood from his lip, Neteyam lifts his head high, meeting eyes with his father.

 "They were talking shit about Kani, saying indecent comments. Not only about her, but her family."

Exhaling, it seemed as if the information made the tension leave his body, mind connecting the dots in his head. Biting his lip, he asked, "I understand  where you are coming from son, but is this girl worth it?"

"I have every intention of claiming her as mine, only waiting on her acceptance. She is worth it, because while everyone else is ignorant, we  both know that she has done more for this clan than most would even  dream about. She has sacrificed a lot, and I be damned if I allow someone to talk about her like a cheap fuck. I wont apologize for defending what is mine, and I will proudly do it again."

Without  waiting for his reply, Neteyam takes leave, dismissing himself. Eyes   following after his son, a strange form of pride makes way, leaving a  proud smirk on his face.

Walking to the healing hut, Neteyam finds himself in his current situation. Kani  rolls her eyes, "What the hell could be so important to have such a  'small disagreement' that leaves you like this."

A strong hand takes a  hold over hers, stopping its movement. Surprised, she looks up to see  the intense look from the man she's treating."Something  very important to me. Something so important, that I would stand against anybody that threatened to hurt it."

Her breath hitched, her eyes lowered, almost tempted to look away due to the weight of his gaze. Tongue peaks out, wetting her lips, an action that was intently observed by the hulking male in front of her. Gulping, she tries to   swallow the saliva that built up, before finally asking the question  that seemed to haunt her.

"What is so important to you, Neteyam?"

The  rumble in his chest makes way up his throat without his consent. Hearing her utter his name seemed to have been the nail in the coffin. Holding his tongue, the hand not already holding hers makes its way up to her, settling at the base of her throat. Not applying pressure, simply resting against her pulse, he feels the speed at which blood is pumped through her body. A shiver crawls up his back feeling the physical evidence that he affects her, just like she does him.

She holds  still, not moving a muscle, just simply waiting for his response,   ignoring the heat that has gathered low in her stomach at the sounds  emitting from him. Moving slowly, almost as  if he was afraid that any sudden movement would scare her away, he folds his legs under him, rocking onto his knees. He bends down, crouching over her, settling his face inches from hers, his shallow   breath fans her parted lips. The position was held, both of them  breathing in each other, tension rising. Eyes clash, darting from side to  side to look at the other, he murmurs,"You."

Her  heart stopped, or at least felt like it did. Her. He fought for her. Not knowing every detail of the fight, she knew enough that the usual  calm, sweet, Neteyam had willing got into it with someone, all because of her. While the carnal, primal behavior would have made most logical people mad, it seemed to have opened up the lock in her heart.

 He stood proud on the fact that he did that, even going as far to admit that he would do so again, without hesitation. Protected her from matters she didn't even know, when she wasn't even around. The veil of hesitation, doubt, the fear of the unknown was stripped away, leaving her heart bare  to the man before her. What felt like a fog of feelings that she wasn't  able to see through, had cleared, only to leave the man that yearned for her at the other side. Seeing him so clearly to the point that it  almost hurt, she had no choice but to run towards him, claiming him as  her own.

Mind made, she closes the distance, lips smashing between them. Eyes closing instantly at the feel of her lips on his, his arms retract, only to quickly slide around her. A sense of desperation seemed to overtake her, arms snaking around his neck, pulling him into her and locking in place. Turning their head, the kiss  deepens, lips parting. A deep groan is made the second his tongue sneaks out to taste her, causing his arms to lift, settling her into his lap, her legs enclosing his.

The new position allowed more contact, skin against skin. His arm makes its way up, strong hand cupping the back of her head to pull her closer, causing a whimper to escape her throat. The heat, the heat that was mildly swimming around her lower stomach, spread all throughout her body. The feel of his body against hers made a deep itch start in between her legs. She's felt the itch before, set on by the very man holding her.

Yet this time she wouldn't have to settle for meager images of him in her head, eyes clenched tight as tried to set out the fire with her own hands, biting the sheets to keep others from hearing deep at night alone in her bed.

This feeling was more intense than the other, as if the feeling of his body made her greedy for more, a feeling a frustration making her groan because it felt like it wasn't enough. She could never get enough. Clenching her legs that rested outside of his, she moves her hips, trying desperately to find friction. Catching on to the needs of the woman in his arms, he was more than willing to meet them.

 His lower arm settled on a plump hip, gripping tightly before dragging it to meet his.Throwing her head back, a moan slips out between her abused lips. He's quick to reattach to her neck, tongue roaming, teeth scraping down, settling on top of her pulsing vein. Closing his lips around the skin, he sucks hard, moving his hips against hers in tempo to the beat.

The fabric between them darken with the moisture seeping through, allowing the feeling of moving against each other to intensify. The movements between them causes the air to thicken, making the scent of her to reach his nose. Muscles constrict, his nostrils flare with the thick aroma of her physical need for him, breaking the last bit of restraint in him.

Hands were quick to slip under thick thighs, lifting easily he maneuvers her body to the ground, caging his body around hers. Trailing up the length of her body, deft fingers slip under the cloth around her chest, molding and pressing. Heavy breathing becomes white noise between the two, moans and groans mixing together to make the most beautiful noise Neteyam has ever heard. Working her body, the reactions guide him on what was needed to make more music pour from her lips. Lost in the sensation, he became the musician, playing her body to receive the music coming from her.

Teeth dig deeper, threatening to break skin, almost begging to be claimed by him. Fingers pinch and pull, only to soothe over the points of her chest. Animalistic urge controlled their movements. Never had she wanted to be dominated as intensely, knowing she would submit willingly, no questions asked, exposing her neck even more to prove her point.

Lost on the feeling of him, she was deaf to the world around. Bodies that moved almost as one stills, only to feel his body stiffen on top of her bringing her slowly back to reality, blinking lazily in the attempt to see why he had stopped. Feeling the growl before hearing it, her heart constricts at the thought of his sudden retreat, the heavy feeling of rejection lays over her.

"Hey, do ya'll know where Lo'ak -."

Cold air fills up the spot of where his body once was only just a second ago. Lurching upwards, arms clasped around her top to hide whatever modesty she had left, her eyes widen to her man hovering the poor soul that had the unfortunate luck of interrupting the moment between them.

Hands that were once loving, suddenly became very deadly, pressing onto Spider's neck. Blown eyes stares in the human's, loud growls ripping out of his chest every time Spider glanced to the spot where Kani lay, despising the fact that another male, human or not, was seeing what should only be for his eyes.

Uncomfortable with the situation they found themselves in, she calls out to him in a soft voice.

Squeezing his eyes shut, ears pointed down in her silence request, he subconsciously tilts his head in her direction. Allowing deep breaths, he refocuses his attention back to terrified boy underneath. Jaws tense he speaks one word, relaxing his hold with just enough room between them to allow him to slip away.

"Leave."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@jackiehollanderr​

[indecisive-dizzy]

I’m sorry if my rambling gets annoying, I just love talking about my silly au and I need to actually make some posts or maybe even a side blog about this au so i can ramble on and on about this without invading you ask box ^^

Daisey is part of the gardening club and the photography club in this au, that’s where they meet Frank and become best friends

Howdy is the heir to the Osborn company and he’s in the same grade as Daisey and Frank. Frank and Howdy are brothers in law, Howdy choosing to attend Frank’s school so he can feel more normal

Eddie and Daisey were close when they were little, but they drifted apart as Eddie befriended the more popular crowd (Barnaby, Wally, Julie, etc)

Eddie is closeted gay, has a crush on Frank and pretends to be in a relationship with Julie as a cover

Julie is closeted bisexual and genderfluid, maybe has a crush on Daisey?? She pretends to date Eddie, they’re just good friends that cover for each other

Howdy becomes the Green Goblin (Green Butterfly/other cooler sounding name) because he wanted to further his family’s research and acted on impulse by experimenting on himself

Howdy idolizes Misumena/Daisey and finds their powers and their superhero-ness incredible, but as the Green something he obsesses over finding out how they gained their powers, openly talking about dissecting them to figure it out

That totally doesn’t scare Daisey, who is literally just a teenager who got superpowers by a spider biting them

Howdy and Daisey are foils of each other, specifically in the area of grief

Daisey lost her little sister Evelyn to a carjacking criminal, while Howdy lost his little sister Lizzy to an illness he was trying to find the cure to but failed to

Daisey tries to help people, while Howdy ends up hurting people

Also they’re both technically orphans, (Howdy’s parents focus more on the company than him, Daisey’s parents work most of the time to be able to provide for their daughters but that costs them time with their children)

Flora basically raised Daisey and Evelyn, she figures out pretty quickly what’s happening with Daisey but let’s them open up to her first

Frank becomes a villain after Lizzy’s death and Howdy seemingly going insane trying to figure out Misumena and what they are

Frank doesn’t die, but he does end up with a ton of injuries and has to be on a wheelchair for a while after the fight

Idk what to do with Howdy but I don’t think he’s arrested, poor bug just needs some help

Eddie and Frank end up together, and Julie tries to be nicer to Daisey near the ends after seeing Eddie being with who he really loved

I only watched the first movie, but I think Doctor Octopus is Home and Wally is involved somehow (possibly as an assistant/minion?)

My other ocs are there too, Wallace being a close friend of Daisey’s in the photography club, but they don’t have major roles

The closest think to a big oc role is Andreas’s mother being the one to show and teach the students about the spiders, along with the one that bites Daisey

Kinda random but I think Julie and Daisey audition for a play at the school that Sally (being the student director/theater club leader) is putting on, and that leads to Daisey being Julie’s understudy and Julie asks them to practice lines with her after school together as a date so they can be perfect at the role in case Julie can’t perform

I’ll post on my acc about this AU eventually, but I’ll probably reblog these asks there and make a proper tag for it if anyone doesn’t wanna see it :,3

Oh this is developing amazingly! I like the brother in law choice for Howdy n Frank!

Closeted Eddie n Julie is actually an amazing take I love that,, I love how Eddie and Frank still get together

Howdy could go to a rehabilitation center i think it's called? the prison that's not a prison and actually focuses in helping those in there. He stays until he's mentally better

also love how Daisey and Howdy are foils of each other,, that's actually so cool and clever and makes some of the best hero-villain dynamics

[saradotpsd]

An obsessive girl’s guide to books about obsession

Originally posted on Medium here.

The word obsession and its variations will appear in this piece at an annoying rate for you, I’m sorry in advance.

I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and I’m enjoying it too much to leave. It is eye opening as much as it is relatable though. Books depicting obsession have been a sort of obsession for me, I’m fascinated by these helpless characters and the situations they end up in because of their intense feelings, and it was delicious losing myself in their plots.

I’ve been looking for these books because I wanted a mirror to my OCD that makes me think “oh.. so this is what my intensity of feelings looks like”, and now that I’ve found a bunch of them, I had to compile a list of every single one I’ve read.

I tried to add as many types of obsessions in these recommendations other than romantic obsession, even though that was the one that held my curiosity the most. This list will be updated as I go through more and more books in the future, but this piece starts with the first 8 books I read, and I’m doing them in the order I read them in.

The first 8 books I read so far

An Apprenticeship or thee Book of Pleasures by Clarice Lispeector

6*

On obsessive love

In this book we follow Clarice, a woman who is trying to bridge the gap between her loneliness and the passion she. harbors for Ulisses, who takes it upon himself to guide her through that path.

This book made me develop an alter ego. It made me kill my old self and create a sexier one out of it. I didn’t plunge into this genre willingly, the interest was sparked by the character portrayal in this book, I was so amused by it that I started seeking more books with similarities to this, from the way the book made me imagine Clarice, to the intense feelings and the way they’re depicted, to the progression of these feelings towards the end, all of this had me hooked and already thinking of what I want my next read to be like (and what I want my next outfit to look like).

My Husband by Maud Ventura

4*

On obsessive & controlling love

A tale of a wife too engulfed by her love for her husband to the point where she doesn’t have more to give to her own kids. The main character loves her husband, a little too much, the cup overflows a little bit and seeps through into her sanity. She keeps notes detailing her husband’s whereabouts, she has a separate notebook where she writes down his “hurtful actions” and the punishment she would give him for each. She’s not exactly the perfect wife otherwise either, with her own shortcomings and her own mishaps, but she still attributes them all to how much she loves him. This gets good when we read the Epilogue.

I was feeling for her the entire time, I didn’t know if I should feel seen or called out because almost the entire time my main thought was “I should probably not love someone ever, because this is how much I’ll love them, to the point where my OCD will push me off the edge”. This book was the first one I read where obsession is a main theme, and it has led me to the rest of the titles in this list.

Read this if you’re interested in these themes: flawed people, detrimental relationships, obsession, unhinged characters. Most importantly read this if you’re okay with books were no one is a good guy, no morals here just obsessive vibes.

New Animal by Ella Baxter

3*

On obsessive grief

Amelia is a cosmetician, at her family’s mortuary. Amelia loses her mom. Amelia goes into a haunting metaphorical journey and a quite literal one to escape that grief. But in her mind that is her way of grieving.

This may not have been a good choice for me to read but only because BDSM is not really an area for me to look into. The book otherwise had a depth that goes beyond it’s main plot. We see parent-children relationships being dissected in a way only all of us would relate to, especially the part where Amelia needs one parent when she’s away from them but she couldn’t stand whichever one she’s around, aren’t we all a little like that?

This book also discusses grief and goes in depth in how it engulfs you within it, so a trigger warning here if you can’t handle this because it does go deep about it. It also details the escapist ways people turn to to escape their grief.

This may not exactly deal with obsession, but I wanted to add it to the list anyway because of the familial attachment aspect and how that itself can be a form of anxious obsession laying dormant in most if not all of us

Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan

6*

On obsessive love

Our main character is unnamed, perhaps on purpose. She falls into obsessive love with Cieran, the type of obsessive love where you lose yourself completely into the other person, unknowingly but willingly giving them a hold over you that you can’t escape by the time you notice it.

This is a narrative of the rejection that is breed within a person when the other is obsessed with them, and it is also a narrative of the obsession wee develop with someone when they reject us. It is a big mess of overflowing emotions and how nothing that intense is ever gratified. It encapsulates the disappointing reality of obsession.

My best recommendation on this entire list. I wish I started with it and I wish I ended with it, but it happened to be a little in the middle, fueling me to search for more books that will hopefully match up to the quality and realistic portrayal of obsession this one has. No other book has done it so far, except thee first book maybe.

I’ve seen some contradicting opinions about the ending though, and without any spoilers, I think it was rather realistic and was merely hated because of how it was out of character for those who relate to our unnamed character’s behavior through out the rest of the book.

Wilful Disregard by Lena Andersson

2*

On obsessive love

If I’m being honest, this one blended in with others in my mind and I had to go back and remember the plot.

Our main character, Ester, is a rational woman with a steady career and a steady relationship, or so she thought, until she experienced what the depths of love feel like after she wrote a piece on Hugo Rask.

Would you rather be in an all encapsulating obsessive love with all of its falls, or in a healthy boring relationship devoid of any feelings? This is my most memorable part about reading in this book and it wasn’t really the focus of it. But I think of this often and of whether or not a combination of both is ever attainable. For someone with OOCD or any personality disorder, they mess up the way we feel, display, or even. receive love. And so we wonder if there is ever a happy ending to our undying devotion and borderline unhealthy way of feeling love. It takes over us to the point where good feelings mesh with guilt and shame and a feeling of doom, that it will never be satisfied, and has it ever? Or have we simply gotten bored and moved on to the next obsession because without it, love doesn’t feel real, its not love if it doesn’t completely drown us?

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

5*

On predatory obsessions

In this book we follow Vanessa’s journey, alternating between the past and the present, slowly unraveling to us what happened to her when she was fifteen, her story is uncovered to us simultaneously as she slowly starts to realize the abuse and grooming that she has gone. through. We know it from the start but she doesn’t, she finishes the book along with us although her realization comes later than ours.

There is obsessive love, and then there is predatory obsession (for lack of a better term), and while the latter is in no way related to the types of obsession a normal person would have, but I think it is important to read this book.

Lolita has grown up and is experiencing the realization of what had really happened to her. And it is a tale all too familiar with too many women, even if we were to disregard any age restrictions from it. Too many women have experienced something, that no matter how obviously traumatizing it was, they were still never sure if it was really a bad experience or just a normal thing that happens to all women at some point. Until the day comes when they can’t deny it anymore.

Vanessa does not fit the checklist of what the perfect victim should be like in order to gain the support of the people and to be believed. Vanessa is human. That aspect of this narrative and specifically the flaws of Vanessa are the most important part of the book to me, and what makes it an. necessary read especially for those who don’t believe women. Those who scramble to find a flaw so they can finally find a reason to hate a woman, to unleash all their loathing and have a “reason” for it.

Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh

3*

On obsessive fantasies

You will never guess what is the historic event that served as a launchpad to this novel. But the book has nothing to do with it really, it is just a spin on one possible storyline happening within that event.

Elodie is a baker’s wife who feels so unloved by her husband that when. she is introduced to a new couple, she develops an obsession with the both of them. Does she want to be with them? does she want to embody them? perhaps both. We follow her as she peers into their life, slowly seeping into their daily activities and the way with which their obsession with each other is displayed. She. has no clue how they portray her though, not even when she thinks she does.

I’m trying to have have opinions on this book but I cannot come up with a single one, it was simply an enjoyable read especially because of how peculiar its base story is.

I’m a Fan by Sheena Patel

4*

On an obsession with a parasocial relationship

I’m giving this 4 stars overall because of the themes discussed in this book, ranging from racism to classicism and much more. But I’d give the obsession part 2.5 stars if I’m being real.

The characters in this novel are unnamed, our main character is obsessed with “the man she wants to be with”, who in turn is obsessed with “the woman she’s obsessed with” despite being in a healthy relationship with “her boyfriend” who loves her dearly. She is pushed to the limit because of her obsession. She has a complete disregard to the people in her life and her life’s focus and purpose is to be with the man she wants to be with, as is thee case with most obsessive feelings.

Just like most obsessive feelings, we see glimpses of the unsatisfied craving all over the novel despite the main character being completely oblivious with them, another realistic portrayal of the futility of obsession. You are completely enamored with something or someone, but there’s no happiness when you finally get it. You might obsess over more and more and more. Or you might move on to another obsession that proves this feeling is only folded over itself and is never about the person or thing you direct it to. Or worse, you might get disappointed and plunged into the emptiness of the mundane. What did we think the happy ending of obsession would be anyway?

I inhaled these books all back to back so fast that the more mediocre ones of them became kind of a blur at this point and I had to go back and remind myself of what they were about, so I hope my reviews were not lacking because of this. But some of them were so good they still take a seat at the front of my mind and I compare every similar book to them.

I hope they spark your interest and I’d love to discuss them with you.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading ❤

[sparxaf]

Nine People You Want to Get to Know Better

💖 Thank you @chroniccomicobsession, @eskiix, @0shewrites0, @operationnope, @willkimurashat, @noahsthottie for tagging me in this! I dragged my feet on it because I'm embarrassed to admit how little I'm reading right now. Also, cuz I can't shut up and I always write too-long posts 😆

Last Song: Reaching by Jason Reeves. I've been editing my chapter for what feels like years and last night I needed to break up the many repeats of Taylor Swifts This Love (TV), so I played Reaching a lot, too.

Girl, you are the morning sky Glowing calm with burning light And as I am waking up You paint your reflection in my eye Wonder if you've noticed I can't look away

You're inches from my fingertips I've come as close as I can get I'm reaching but the rest is up to you

Currently Reading: I'm not currently reading anything really. I should be. I have a lot of stuff I'd love to read, but my attention span is garbage. Gnats have a better chance of finishing a book than I do.

Currently Watching: Scaredy Cats on Youtube. It's horror movie reviews basically. I'm too squeamish to fully watch horror movies, but I like them. So I usually watch the beginning, then read the plot of the rest on Wikipedia (I call it Wiki-Watching). If it interests me, I watch bunches of reviews for it too. I love film dissection.

In case it's not obvious, I'm a huge nerd.

Current Obsession: LITG S6, specifically the future potential of an Ozzy/Marhsall/MC love triangle. Or something else... But also, monster movies! I've always loved them, but I'm on a bit of a kick right now. The other night I watched three back to back with decreasing levels of enjoyment and competence. As I said above, I love film dissection, so if you wanna read me giving my mini-reviews for each of the three movies, I think I'll post that separately. This is long enough.

Tagging: @queen-of-boops, @thatwheelchairchick, @kikithegr8, @litg1carlstancentral, @crimswnred, @codename-mango @mercedesdecorazon @wildberryjams @litg-burnbook (I tried to make sure everyone hadn't posted one of these yet, but sorry if you've already been spammed with tags for this 😆)

[daylightaftertherain]

hello I'm back with another taylorxwilmon lyric dissection and we're getting into unreleased tracks now bc I'm waiting for the day taylor releases need properly

@heartbreakprincewille @allthefakepeople have fun with the mutual swiftie breakdown besties <;33

Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket You wore to the wrong part of town

the jacket reminds me of simon's iconic green jacket obviously, and wille's "want" for something he's not supposed to have. "the wrong part of town" feels like hillerska's attitude towards bjarstäd, especially august's little comment about it (inserting my obligatory fuck you to august <3)

Desire is the sound of the whiskey Telling me you miss me, can you come around?

wille's driven by his desire to be around simon, and this line is so s1ep4 football field call to simon. also the change from want to desire, and desire being a version of want that reflects wille's feelings from the football game to the football field scene strengthening

Passion is a passing thing It's accidental chemistry Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire It ain't what you and I are at all

WILMON CODED VERSE OF ALL TIME WHAT THE FUCK the best part of wilmon is the fact that they have an emotional connection on top of physical attraction, and something deeper than the video that could be interpreted as just a hookup (like how a lot of the forest ridger's attitudes towards simon are straight up dismissal in s2). also wille and simon both changing and becoming better for each other even when they were apart, showing that their relationship worked because they were committed to each other to a level beyond just passion

Oh, it's a need, it's a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go" I won't leave, it's a need

simon during the valentine ball I'm sorry this is him and just the way wilmon linger and cling to each other every time they kiss like they need each other to live ;-; also simon telling wille he had to figure out what he wanted and what wille wanted was simon and now he's never letting go of them again ;-;

Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck That tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else You forgot about me

I fully believe the video affected the way simon interacted with people in public much more than we're shown, and he's got a feeling of being in danger of being watched now sooo

and obviously the last two lines are wille and simon with marcus and felice respectively, but also "you forgot about me" and simon panicking when wille told him he was willing to move on at the valentine ball

Passion is a passing thing It's accidental chemistry Caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving This is like breathing for me

this is like breathing for me !!!!!! the breathing in the s2 intro and the valentine kiss (yes I'm going to keep bringing up the valentine ball bc it's one of the best scenes in the show)!!!! and "caught up in a feeling" feels like their dynamic in s1 back when they were just getting to know each other and discovering their feelings 🥲🥲

Baby, it's always A new kiss every time we do this

ugh just wilmon kissing each other like it's the first and last time in literally every scene do I even have to say anything else

The truth is It's essential to me That you love me more than Wishing, longing

season two simon coded!!!! he wanted wille to love him and change and to give him a relationship that's both of them as a team, more than just wanting him back or telling simon what he wanted, and wille came through in the end :')

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

So this is an obscure ask - and when I first was in the fandom i read some meta about it, and could never find it again. I’ve asked some of the long term members of the fandom, and they can’t recall either.

So basically in the Quarterback, Klaine are only together in that tiny moment when Rachel is singing. I can understand why - it’s not about them, and it actually keeps them in character, and how each would have dealt with it.

But there are little nods to their togetherness - like the same patterned tie in Seasons of love - Blaine with his bow tie, Kurt normal tie but both stripped.

And when Kurt talks to Puck his suspenders/braces ( as we call them in Uk) are round his waist, likewise Blaine’s are during Fire and Rain. And someone wrote a whole meta thing on this. But I could never find it again. It’s symbolic of something….. do you recall any fandom discussion?? Something to do with support system for each other and now Finn had gone?

Kurt has red ones not on his shoulders, Blaine has pink???

Any idea?

Nope, sorry Jen. I can't help you here. The Quarterback basically exists on another plane of existence re: Glee for me, as in, I don't really see it as a true episode because it was so clear that real life seeped into it, so as a result I never really did meta etc. for the episodes cause it felt like dissecting real people's lives instead of characters' storylines.

So if there was meta, I wouldn't know.

[punkscowardschampions]

Tancy (pt.4 basically)

Nancy: [Okay, so when we have been at this crackhouse for GOD knows how long, ignoring Grace’s attempts to contact us, just truly doing the most to lose ourselves here, eventually feeling like you gotta get out and you can’t just leave because you’ve spent all your money and are not feeling like calling your family about this, as well as the obvious tentative reach out that this is to him]

Nancy: Could you send a car to come pick me up?

Nancy: I’ll pay you back when I have it

Teddy: [do obvs because you know where she is, you got that peek before you unfollowed + her dealers are your dealers clearly, and send her whatever relevant deets about said car she would need idk I’m not a posh person but I assume like an ETA or whatever, likewise also send her some money because she clearly doesn’t have any]

Nancy: Thank you

Nancy: I’ve forgotten how the buses work and I don’t think I want to stand out at the stop here even if I could work it out

Teddy: I wouldn’t know where to begin with something like that

Nancy: If there’s ever a time to get mugged, I’m not sure if it’s preferable to have nothing on you or that’ll just anger them

Nancy: I wasn’t sure if you’d blocked me as well as unfollowed

Teddy: Where’s the fun in that? You may want to set me up with someone more suitable or keep me in the loop about how the bidding went

Nancy: You’ve reread the conversation then

Nancy: I know I said some things in the heat of the moment that I didn’t mean

Teddy: I didn’t need to, I haven’t forgotten what you said

Nancy: I wish you could

Teddy: You would, but alas, it appears I didn’t catch your disability after all

Nancy: Sorry seems a little redundant but I am

Nancy: I don’t even understand how we started arguing, never mind how it got to that place

Teddy: Never mind ghoulishly dissecting the argument once again, go home, go to bed

Nancy: You really won’t talk to me?

Teddy: What do you expect me to say?

Nancy: It’s not much of a conversation if I direct you

Teddy: You want me to tell you I also said things I didn’t mean, that I don’t love you

Teddy: but I’m not going to

Nancy: I just want to talk to you, whatever the truth is

Nancy: that wasn’t the part that hurt me the most, though, for the record

Teddy: I’m far too busy crying, naturally

Nancy: That was mean, like actual bitchery, to throw that back at you

Nancy: you already left and I hadn’t forgiven you for that and then you said you loved me just to take it back and I don’t know

Nancy: you said I can’t handle it, you were right 

Teddy: It hasn’t escaped my notice you’re a bitch, awkward if it was supposed to

Nancy: Nope, you definitely called me one then too

Teddy: For the record, I didn’t take it back, I don’t

Nancy: You wished you weren’t

Nancy: which if I was being gracious I would say is fair but it isn’t and I’m not 

Teddy: You wished for anyone but me first

Nancy: No one else would love me, challenge me, that’s what I meant

Teddy: Everyone would love you, you can’t stand the thought

Nancy: Other people have said it before, but they either didn’t mean it or didn’t know me enough to have it be an informed opinion

Teddy: Did he?

Nancy: God, no

Nancy: he was famously in love with [whatever his fiancee’s actual name is] for the majority of that ‘relationship’ so, what’s the point in bullshitting

Teddy: His parents have famously never said it, to him, his siblings or each other

Nancy: It shows

Teddy: & yet, a frightful number of children, considering

Nancy: They take their duty to keep numbers up seriously

Nancy: or have incredible sexual chemistry, either or

Teddy: Both, possibly

Nancy: Pretending to be Scottish makes slightly more sense as a roleplay

Teddy: I do hope they at least attempt the accents in the bedroom

Nancy: I’d pay to see it

Teddy: Wouldn’t we all

Nancy: And I didn’t wear your mother’s necklace to the crack den, nor sell it, another one for the record

Teddy: You wouldn’t be contemplating taking the bus if you’d sold it, nor escaping with it in the former

Nancy: True

Nancy: has she not checked the safe since you gave it to me?

Teddy: They filed a claim with their insurance the day after the party

Nancy: But it’s one of a kind, before the added sentimentality 

Teddy: A truly tragic loss, in every sense

Nancy: What have you been doing, since the party?

Teddy: Yours or mine?

Nancy: We can try that, filling in those gaps

Nancy: failing that, from my party works just fine

Teddy: Since yours, losing Ivo some more money he’s nonetheless still failed to realise is missing

Nancy: Must mean his habits are out of control again, big shocker

Nancy: I didn’t know you knew how to do your future job though, smarty pants

Teddy: It isn’t difficult, G & Daddy dearest pretend to make themselves feel clever & super important

Nancy: That’s all anyone does in this town for work, I’m pretty sure

Nancy: my friends try to tell me what they do, like their jobs don’t all sound boring and identical no matter what

Teddy: & like you’d be interested anyway 🥱

Teddy: no one has anything even vaguely worthwhile to talk about, if not careers, it’s children or spouses & it’s becoming a problem

Teddy: at this rate, I’ll have to spend time with people my own age

Nancy: At least everyone your age will have Uni drama

Nancy: my friends remained somewhat interesting in those days

Nancy: I could tell you every weird thing Ivo did for you to potentially use against him, if you like

Teddy: You’re barely out of Uni, your friends should be involved in drama, or at least not be this level of bores

Nancy: I have tried telling them

Nancy: I’ll catch back up when they all break up or start cheating on each other, we’re just in a honeymoon phase

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: I hope you get bored enough to want to talk to me again

Nancy: no offence

Teddy: All taken, I hate being

Nancy: Well I hate this

Teddy: It’s your fault, don’t come to me to fix it

Nancy: No one else can

Teddy: You could try

Nancy: What do you think I was doing in [whatever part of London you had to get yourself to and are now like omg the horror]?

Teddy: The opposite of talking to me

Nancy: You didn’t want to talk

Nancy: you told me goodbye multiple times

Teddy: You threw every present back in my face

Nancy: I didn’t throw anything, that was you

Nancy: and we’ve been over this, I thought you were laughing at me for wanting to be with you

Teddy: You intended to return them all to me as though they were never given

Nancy: I said that but did I, no

Teddy: Well no, but only because you were in [the shady part of London] apparently penniless 

Nancy: I’m not giving them back

Nancy: even if you demanded it, I don’t want to

Teddy: They’re yours to do what you want with

Nancy: They’re the nicest presents I’ve ever been given

Nancy: not just accounting for quality

Teddy: It’s a new day & the start of your birthday month, you should be due another

Nancy: Of course, I’m sure everyone got the memo

Teddy: I don’t know what to get you now

Nancy: You got me this car ride home

Nancy: and cash so I don’t have to beg my parents for any

Teddy: Those don’t count, silly

Nancy: Yeah they do

Nancy: if you really hated me, you’d have left me to get stabbed to death

Teddy: I told you I’ve got 0 interest in hating you, Nance

Nancy: Good

Nancy: you can follow me back then

Teddy: When the car picks you up

Nancy: The app says [however long this car still is away]

Nancy: I’ll save all my best thoughts and pics until then

Teddy: Going to [where she did] wasn’t your best idea

Nancy: I was very upset, in my defence 

Nancy: I needed sedating

Teddy: As was I, so go ahead & post any pics that’ll devastate me further before I follow back, hopefully they’ll get lost among [someone we’re shading for posting constantly]’s

Nancy: I wasn’t sucking dick for drugs

Nancy: I’d not be broke if that were the plan

Nancy: and I look like an actual meth head so it’s throwbacks or nothing

Teddy: Post a throwback to [one of their happier times, giving the most recent that’s possible before tonight for full take me back to then vibes]

Nancy: [do that but then just be sending him pictures you have of y’all that you’ve kept on your phone like remember when]

Teddy: [follow her back so you can interact with this either on her story or feed even though you said you’d wait, we all know you cannot, join in too by sending her pics you’ve kept which obvs include ones she didn’t know you’d taken where she looks adorable]

Nancy: You made me look kind of pretty

Teddy: You’re beautiful, nothing to do with me

Nancy: Is too

Nancy: [send him more pictures that are fully giving couple hence they never saw the light of day]

Teddy: [send her the coupleyest ones you have too, and then the sauciest ones you have, just a not at all casual escalation as we’re going through]

Nancy: Yeah, that’s all you 

Nancy: I’m not trying to see myself naked unless I can see you too

Teddy: If you really loved me you’d always be naked

Nancy: but you love buying me clothes

Teddy: But you look better out of them

Nancy: Okay

Nancy: but I’m keeping on the jewellery 

Teddy: Please do

Nancy: I missed you

Nancy: even when I was really, really off my face

Teddy: What did you take, who did you fuck & how did it feel? 

Teddy: tell me everything

Nancy: [the laundry list of drugs and their effects but lbr if sex occurred it’s giving you didn’t consent/don’t remember so you can’t say anything there, like are you a rich enough gal/good enough customer they didn’t risk it or did they take their opportunity, big yikes lmao]

Teddy: Sounds fantastic

Nancy: I’ll bring you back your own

Teddy: You’re going home

Nancy: You can get it later, if you’re so insistent I’m going home

Teddy: I can get my own later, once I settle up your tab

Nancy: Don’t you want to see me?

Teddy: You broke my heart & you aren’t forgiven

Nancy: How are you ever going to forgive me if you won’t see me

Teddy: How am I supposed to look at you after you made such a fool of me?

Nancy: I haven’t though, no one knows anything

Nancy: it was just us and you did it right back

Teddy: I was disgustingly vulnerable, you weren’t

Teddy: I don’t know anything, Nancy

Nancy: What do you mean, yes I was

Nancy: I was basically weeping about the cake in front of everyone

Teddy: Which doesn’t make us equal at all

Nancy: I’ve said I love you loads more than you have

Nancy: I’m trying, but you just see your own efforts 

Teddy: You were thrilled about my efforts, including the cake

Teddy: I wasn’t about my cock not working for [however long]

Nancy: I’M not discounting YOURS

Nancy: I didn’t put a hex on you

Nancy: but I know, how shit that must’ve been

Teddy: & I haven’t discounted how Ivo treated you, he’s lost a fortune tonight

Nancy: Is it making you feel better?

Nancy: he’d only waste it making a fool of himself with Cara

Teddy: Not really, but it wasn’t meant to, I did it for you

Nancy: I know

Nancy: I don’t know how to thank you when you do nice things for me all the time, it’d become the only word in my vocabulary and I’m actually not that horrifically disabled

Teddy: You’re actually very clever, I know

Nancy: Well, no need to get carried away

Nancy: I couldn’t be in Uni, or do whatever hot boy job it is you do

Teddy: You absolutely could, but you’re so intelligent you’ve chosen not to

Nancy: You are being forced, on both counts

Nancy: which is so unfair

Teddy: Yes, woe’s me

Teddy: if only I were horrifically disabled

Nancy: Pretending at Uni would be easy

Nancy: they’d have to give you help

Teddy: Will you show me how to extend all my deadlines?

Nancy: Of course

Nancy: if we’re spending Christmas together, I’m not watching you write essays

Teddy: If I last until Christmas, I’ve got limited term time before they realise my assignments aren’t the same as my brother’s because we share an identical passion for [the course]

Nancy: That’s genius

Nancy: and honestly, as if it matters to any of your lecturers who’s doing the work, they’re just doing theirs ticking boxes

Teddy: Nevertheless, I want to be kicked out when the timing’s right, not on some lecturer’s say so who, btw, desperately needs to get a life

Teddy: agree to help me & I’ll agree to see you

Nancy: Of course I’ll help you

Teddy: Okay, direct the car here

Nancy: If you change your mind this time, I’m coming in anyway, fair warning

Teddy: I’ve already been warned you look like you’ve developed a crack habit

Nancy: You’ll let me borrow your shower won’t you

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll give you a bath, if you’re good

Nancy: You loved the bath at my old place

Teddy: 🥺 the memories

Teddy: I should’ve bought it, forced them to rip it out & deliver it here

Nancy: You’ll have to rent the place out, there’s been no one permanent since [some rock star rented it after you]

Nancy: at least our first time was against your house, that’s going nowhere

Teddy: The renovations weren’t brick-by-brick extensive, no

Teddy: you just can’t manufacture the chaos unless you commit to fully doing everything yourself

Nancy: People are always let downs, fact

Teddy: But I’ll definitely rent the old place whenever you need a break from your unbearable cousin, say the word & it’s yours again

Nancy: Oh God, her

Nancy: I better tell her I haven’t died

Teddy: No don’t, let her think you have

Teddy: she was certainly killing me earlier

Nancy: You’ve been talking to her?

Teddy: Imagine

Teddy: I mean WAY earlier, before I left

Nancy: You scared me

Nancy: but you’re right, she can keep waiting

Teddy: She deserves to suffer & if not on your birthday, when? It’s the most fitting date

Nancy: You won’t have to suffer hers

Nancy: it was so hellish it felt like a month

Teddy: I’d simply have to admit defeat & abandon the plan if destroying her entire life took a year, true

Nancy: You’re far too hot, even she will have to get over herself to get under you

Teddy: 9 months from start to finish, obviously, that’s the clear winner, even though I could propose & organise a wedding in far less

Nancy: Definitely 

Nancy: even though she’ll milk EVERY second and I’ll wanna die

Teddy: She’ll want her bridal shower in [somewhere we’re dragging to filth]

Nancy: and the hen in [giving the trashiest destination known to man like HELP ME]

Teddy: I dread to think what her honeymoon suggestions will be

Teddy: [I imagine he’s throwing out places rn that aren’t even that trashy cos he’s rich af and doesn’t know the half of it so she can be like oh no no, here and here sis]

Nancy: Try [really trashy places, thanks normal fam and background for the information, even if we’ve not let it humble us at all in any meaningful way lmao]

Teddy: Somewhere I refuse to locate on a map never mind willingly travel to, shocker

Nancy: Thank GOD I will never let it get that far

Nancy: the locals would see you coming a mile away

Teddy: An immediate divorce would be mortifying but 0 tops jilted at the altar

Nancy: It’s giving only happens in the movies in a way she could not predict

Teddy: I’d hate for someone other than you to be my first wife

Nancy: I’d hate it more

Teddy: Would you cry?

Nancy: I’d do much worse things than cry

Nancy: but yeah, I don’t see how I wouldn’t

Teddy: It would essentially be my funeral, I demand some tears

Teddy: short of you throwing yourself at my coffin, or in this instance, at my feet

Nancy: It could be your funeral

Nancy: I’ll happily share the day for the romance of it all

Teddy: You’re so hot when you’re issuing death threats

Nancy: 🥰 don’t think I don’t mean it

Teddy: I think you’re very capable of it, that’s the turn-on

Teddy: no one enjoys an idle threat

Nancy: So true

Nancy: I love your brain

Teddy: Ours complement each other, in more than those words could hope to express

Nancy: I feel it too

Nancy: what you said, about being alike and feeling alone when you’re not there

Teddy: You recognise parts of me no one else wants to look closely at

Nancy: It didn’t feel like it could be real, that you could be exactly how you are

Nancy: even in my family, I feel like an alien, or the only human, either way, alone and wrong

Teddy: Referring to us both as orphans was incredibly accurate

Nancy: Oliver would be a great codename for you, if I hadn’t dated several Ollies and Ols 🙄

Teddy: [tell her how many Ollie’s/variations of there currently are on your Rugby team because it’s giving a Rugby boy name but idek how many players there are so don’t @ me]

Nancy: Makes for a shit couple’s costume, truly, never beating the allegations

Nancy: Pinky promise I haven’t slept with any of them yet

Teddy: The yet keeps things believable

Nancy: You’ve not asked for things to be kept between us

Nancy: and now I’m back, you’ll be able to fuck whoever you want again

Teddy: [tell her whether you’ve slept with any of them or not/how far you’ve gone with who because will always give her kiss and tell deets of whatever has or hasn’t happened]

Nancy: And you said I’d oversold it

Teddy: I said what I said, yes

Nancy: Perhaps

Nancy: I could make it as good as I said though, I maintain that

Teddy: I don’t doubt your capabilities, I maintain that

Nancy: When is your next class?

Teddy: [whenever it is cos I can’t remember if King’s has a half term in october like school and I’m deffo not about to go and try and look when it isn’t that important]

Nancy: Just wondering how long I can keep you to myself

Teddy: As long as you like

Nancy: Tempting

Teddy: They don’t give out praise or prizes which would tempt me to attend, you’re lacking competition

Nancy: I won’t get an ego about it, no

Nancy: your competition is having to go home and tell Grace where I’ve been so likewise

Teddy: You can have your ego when it’s time for me to go home to Grace & tell her what she wants to hear

Nancy: Don’t say home to her, I’ll throw up everywhere in this car

Teddy: Perhaps you should, cleanse yourself before you come home to me

Nancy: You’d be paying for it

Teddy: [send her the cost of it like okay sure, as if she’s gonna now throw up on your command, essentially]

Nancy: Is there anything that freaks you out, like a hard line you won’t cross?

Teddy: As previously stated I didn’t take my mother as a lover in your absence

Teddy: but otherwise, no, I don’t think so

Nancy: I assumed we could take the illegal stuff off the list but now I’m concerned 

Teddy: Your family has form for crossing that particular line, I thought it best to make sure I highlighted it

Nancy: Ha ha

Nancy: You’re very original 

Teddy: My family has form of their own, for plenty of things, I’m not accusing you

Nancy: No one in my family likes me that much, we know, it’s fine

Teddy: Their appalling taste therefore speaks for itself

Nancy: The nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

Teddy: It goes without saying, if we were related, I’d commit incest at once

Nancy: 😅 You’re an idiot

Nancy: but I’d cross that line with you too

Teddy: There isn’t a single one I’d hesitate to with or for you

Nancy: I don’t even want to use any of it against you

Nancy: it’s truly disgusting

Teddy: Who are we?

Teddy: I cried, genuinely, real tears, it was horrific

Nancy: I feel awful

Nancy: but also like I’m lit up inside, sorry, you care though

Nancy: about me

Teddy: Losing you changed me

Nancy: I want you to keep me

Teddy: I’d sooner my trust fund was taken away than you were

Nancy: I won’t make you keep me to that level 

Nancy: I barely need anything, really

Teddy: I disagree, you need everything your heart desires

Nancy: You

Nancy: you do and I need you

Teddy: You need to take [one of these drugs we’re playfully blaming for her being in love with us rn lol] more often

Nancy: If you want meth head, I’ll lean into it, sure

Teddy: I want you

Nancy: I’m on my way to you

Teddy: I’m waiting, patience was never promised

Nancy: Patience is boring

Nancy: stoic isn’t my type

Teddy: It’s a huge relief to know I can leave you in my father’s company every Sunday & you aren’t going to be seduced

Nancy: I’ll be far too busy entertaining myself with the others if your descriptions match the reality

Nancy: though it’s the biggest shame Chlo will no longer be there too

Teddy: We’ll drink a toast to her

Teddy: [whatever her fave drink is, whether it is or not or he’s just being shady haha]

Nancy: Make it several

Teddy: The least we can do as she’s bound to only drink laxatives these days, after having yet more unfortunate daughters

Nancy: Physically unable to produce a son

Teddy: & unable to locate a surgeon who’ll fix the damage, to give her a hope in hell of keeping a man physically interested 💔

Nancy: Have you seen him?

Nancy: They are… well suited

Teddy: More importantly, darling, have you heard his band play?

Nancy: NO

Teddy: You MUST

Teddy: live is an especially unbeatable experience

Teddy: [and give her deets of his next ‘gig’ because of course you go and troll and wind Chlo up whenever you can haha]

Nancy: Oh my GOD

Nancy: That’s so incredibly lame

Nancy: I need to see what she wears to these shows immediately

Teddy: [send her your fave pics from the ones you’ve been to which is lowkey all of them lol lol]

Nancy: I’m so embarrassed for her

Nancy: How rich is he that this is the new love of her life?

Teddy: [give her the tea on who this man’s parents are etc in the way rich people love to do because ofc you know]

Nancy: Naturally she’d never commit and date an actual starving artist

Nancy: oh well, he can fund his wife and daughters’ surgeries in the not-so distant future at least

Teddy: 0 risk of future incest if their daughters were being raised with a child of mine

Nancy: Aw, it’d be [however old said child that thankfully does not exist would be by now, nearly 2 at most]

Teddy: [not you finding a pic of you at the same age like hopefully looking like this and not Chlo]

Nancy: Fucking hell

Nancy: actual 👼

Teddy: Which answers your earlier question, if I wanted a baby, that’d be why

Nancy: I can’t even blame you for being a narcissist 

Nancy: if I was her, I’d have gone through with it

Teddy: Thankfully you’re neither her nor a narcissist, or who knows how many children I’d have by this point

Nancy: You’re so welcome, darling

Teddy: & you’re as welcome to be the mother to them all, should you ever change your mind

Nancy: Don’t say that when I can’t stop looking at your baby photo

Teddy: [send her your literal newborn baby photo as if that’ll put her off because newborn babies are gross]

Nancy: You forget how bad I looked

Nancy: another downside of being a twin

Teddy: You should’ve eaten him, were I a twin, I would’ve

Nancy: I don’t doubt it

Nancy: a mistake I just have to live with, sadly

Teddy: You poor thing 🥺

Nancy: You have no idea, he’s the worst brother in the world, I fear

Teddy: Who do you wish he was?

Nancy: I don’t even know now

Teddy: It’s just as well we have each other & can abandon our disappointing siblings

Nancy: Exactly, it’s far too late to imagine different, let alone want it when I have you now

Teddy: I’ll be everything your family isn’t

Nancy: You are

Nancy: I’ll do what it takes to be with you, now I know

Teddy: Then I’m not mad at you anymore

Nancy: Am I forgiven?

Teddy: When you’re finally here, I can’t help but sulk slightly until you are

Nancy: You do pout so prettily

Teddy: [send her that content ofc]

Nancy: [give him an updated countdown that’s giving nearly there in return]

Teddy: [send her some money how he always do when he wants the driver to hurry up lol]

Nancy: Start running my bath please

Teddy: Start taking off your clothes

Nancy: [send a pic of your shoes being off like okay, I have]

Teddy: Please

Nancy: [send another where you’ve done the thing of taking your bra off under your clothes like tada, as you asked nicely]

Teddy: [smirky content instead of pouty content like oh you]

Nancy: You’re going to have to close your eyes when I get there though, let me get in the water before you look at me

Teddy: Okay, I’ll carry you with my eyes closed

Nancy: You will not

Nancy: I’m gross enough without breaking anything too

Teddy: I will not let you walk, you’ve had such an awfully long night

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: I’ll let you look after me, be good

Teddy: I know you just adored whenever your father carried you from cars

Nancy: Who doesn’t like being treated like a princess?

Teddy: You’re still dressed the part

Nancy: Have you watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof yet?

Nancy: I want to watch it with you

Teddy: I had to arrive for the party at [whatever o clock he’s saying is ridiculously early because for them it is], when would I have time?

Nancy: Since last night, if you were really missing me like you say

Teddy: You would’ve changed the theme if I had

Nancy: No, the comparison was too apt

Teddy: Fine, we’ll watch it

Nancy: 🥺 don’t ‘fine’ me like a real dad

Teddy: But those old films are usually SO long

Nancy: It’s under 2 hours and no one is saying you are only allowed to watch the film and nothing else

Teddy: Okay, baby

Nancy: Don’t you think he’s hot

Teddy: I wouldn’t dress up as someone ugly

Nancy: Your eyes might be bluer, I think

Teddy: Of course they are & it’s the reason you think I’m hot

Nancy: A reason

Teddy: [give her an eye comparison of her own to something boujee only you would, like when you compared her body to an expensive car that time]

Nancy: Are you ready to prove how romantic you are?

Nancy: [and show up, it’s been long enough, the casual state you are in cannot be overstated honestly]

Teddy: [go and carry her in like you said you would, you know this car’s ETA full well you sent it and I’m sure you’ve been impatiently watching and waiting for it cos I imagine your mum is there but comatose at this o clock so you might as well be home alone with no other distractions cos she’s giving nothing lol, obvs do your extra af cheek kisses hello when you lift her out of this car, that goes without saying, you simply must, no fucks given to the state she is in, I also imagine that he’s shamelessly taking her clothes off on route from this car to his door because lbr it has pulled up right near the house and so you have, at max, some steps to walk up or whatever and he has every intention of her being naked as soon as she’s inside, again with no fucks given]

Nancy: [if anyone is not gonna give a fuck as to who is or isn’t here, it is this bitch, when even though you do genuinely feel disgusting in the way only shame can make you feel, you have to cling to him like he’s about to be snatched from you any moment because CANNOT lose you ever again thank you, being very unhelpful in getting undressed with your clingy nature but definitely not stopping him either, making little noises every time you become a little more exposed ‘til you fully are/are in his house again and you can do a quiet !! gasp about both facts]

Teddy: [it’s fine she’s baby and that’s what her unhelpfulness is giving so he’s here for it, hence not putting his thumb in her mouth again until after she’s done that gasp cos don’t want her to shut up either it’s just a comforting gesture (in the same way his shh responses were after every little noise) while he carries her to her fave bathtub wherever that may be in this house cos no fucks given (for a third time lol) if it’s the furthest possible away from his or literally in the ensuite that his mum is sleeping next door to because he has the run of this entire house always and all he cares about is this being the biggest and boujee-est tub, lay her in it and lounge like a cat in the (no doubt impractical for a bathroom) chair/literal recliner you’ve positioned next to it so y’all can handhold while she takes a sec to enjoy this warm water and the ambiance he has created with mood lighting and mood music etc, I vote that there’s also jets because her body has been put through it by their hookup earlier never mind all the shenanigans she’s been up to since then, so it’s like a massage and a bath all rolled into one here]

Nancy: [here having a sneaky look around at any changes there may have been to this gaff in the time elapsed since y’all were together, the only way to stop yourself from launching a full makeout at him when you really do want to sort yourself out before then, being the most baby about sucking his thumb and nuzzling against his hand, grasping it with your own tightly; I imagine the bathrooms are much of a muchness but your parents ensuite might just top yours in some way so we can say you’re in there using his mum’s luxury facilities like it’s nothing lol, immediately going under in this water like the cliche to deal with how !! you are about this absolute whiplash happening here, not quite girl screaming underwater but you know, emerge again to smile at him and lean your chin on the side of the bath]

Teddy: [we’ve simply gotta do it because it’s the most unhinged that his mum is sleeping a medicated sleep right there and he’d be the most into that as the location for having her back, adding to the !! there already is because she realistically isn’t gonna hear you/come in when she’s however many sleeping pills deep but she COULD, it’s only a tiny smidge of risk, and there’s the immaculate vibes, cup her face with your free hand because didn’t even free her of that handhold when she was submerged, obvs, never will, and stroke the wet hair off it as you return this smile]

Nancy: [the way you didn’t even mention it as y’all walked past her, like I know you know what his mum is like but just really showing how y’all are that you aren’t even noticing or making any effort to be super quiet in the slightest, what if she needed a pee, you don’t know hun but here you are like lady muck in her bathtub, you love to see it lmao ‘I’m so happy you’ve forgiven me’ and you can tell we sincerely mean it because not being the slightest bit flippant rn, closing your eyes whilst he strokes your head like that]

Teddy: [mhmm, it really sums up exactly who they are, well done us, give her a nod with the most sincerest heart eyes of all time before her eyes close because you can tell she means it and you feel the same way, riffling through his mother’s products with the exact same chaotic energy that he attacked her dressing table on his bday until he finds some kind of expensive af hair treatment mask or something of the sort and starts putting it on for this gal, because one thing about Amanda, she has lovely hair so you can tell his mum has the good shit]

Nancy: [opening your eyes when he’s clattering around to do this otherwise you’ll be like hello??? but having them immediately roll closed again when he starts massaging your scalp like that because everything about this is so nice and you can’t deal, copying the way he’s touching you in your hair on your body is a v suggestive manner for his benefit, not fully touching yourself like that but it’s not innocent that’s for sure]

Teddy: [we love to see it, fully giving long af head massage with how extra he’s being about this, Grace would DIE lol because we all know he’ll also find some kind of face mask next when he isn’t distracted having the most fun here both doing this for her and enjoying all of her reactions to it, no hesitation at all therefore in repositioning these bath jets so they hit her body in as suggestive of a way, getting her boobs and foof shamelessly once he’s ‘innocently’ just washing his hands off in the water and then beginning to apply this face mask like he didn’t just initiate that haha]

Nancy: [Grace would NEVER let you see her without her weave, let alone risk you snatching it off, nay nay but she’d be living for this self-care behaviour, go off king, LOOKING at him once he’s in your grill and applying this face mask because we all know what you just did and we’re so about it, even if we continue the innocent act like it’s not making our body move closer to these jets in some type of way ‘I feel so much better’]

Teddy: [LOOKING back because it isn’t casual and the way he’s touching her face with just slightly more pressure than is necessary to apply that facemask is his personal giveaway, as is the fact he’s fully on the edge of his seat to be as close to her as he can without getting up yet, shifting in it every time her body moves in response to the jets, as involuntarily ‘you deserve to’ because she is forgiven, for now at least lol lol]

Nancy: [wincing purely to remind him of how he had you pressed up against your sink earlier not because it truly hurts in any real way, making a sound with it as if it does but is actually a reaction to how these jets are hitting and he will know it ‘I don’t mind if you want to get in’ like you do too]

Teddy: [nevertheless, being SO gentle for the remainder of this facemask application like omg I’m so sorry even though he is not, it’s purely because the softness will get to you both even more and that’s what you want, likewise gently pushing her back so she’s lying again to let both of these beauty products have the time they need, but also and as importantly to position her so the jets are hitting even more, turning them up higher too, WATCHING her as they really hit now, positioning himself on his knees by this bath so he can pick up one of her feet and start going to town on massaging it with an expression like excuse you I’m not done pampering you yet but we all know he wants her to want him to get in more first before he does]

Nancy: [it truly short-circuits our brain because not getting or doing this with anyone to this full extent and it truly kills you to try and deal remotely, the way you’re breathing like he absolutely slammed you back into this tub is wild, biting your lip turning into really chewing it when he turns these jets up higher, swearing into a high pitched moan that’s truly a whine at this point, threatening to kick him in the face from the sheer level of !! you’re already at when he starts giving you your foot massage]

Teddy: [doing SUCH dramatic breathing of his own as if she did kick him in the face and it’s a wince because LIVING for all of this and out here doing the most to try and make her scream the place down purely from the jets and this foot massage alone, isn’t even a foot pervert like that bf of Trace’s but you better believe he’ll be putting her big toe in his mouth to recreate when she was sucking his thumb, no regrets]

Nancy: [shaking your head like I can’t believe you’ve done this but you’re beyond turned on and it’s obvious from how you’re not taking your eyes off him for a second, moving harder and thus pushing your foot into his mouth more as a result, doing a little hot lol like whoops but you are likewise not sorry]

Teddy: [the EYE CONTACT is truly insane rn, has either of them blinked, no they have not, and it’s that which makes him make his first lil noise which turns into more of one ofc when he’s deep throating her toe almost from that movement, biting it how he always do when he’s mad but he’s clearly the opposite, HOLDING her ankle as dramatically as when he pulled her down the bed during their dryhumpathon all that time ago when he was still an underage boy, indecently licking the arch of her foot, pressing into it like it’s part of the massage]

Nancy: [saying his name, at first like you’re shocked at this behaviour, although you aren’t in any way you just LOVE it, then it’s being said again more pleadingly because he’s killing you slowly for real and you don’t know how long you can continue at this pace, your other foot slipping towards his as a super not subtle way to say MORE]

Teddy: [picking up her other foot because mustn’t neglect that one and there’s only so much of a foot massage you can give with your tongue which is the point he’d reached with the previous one ‘I haven’t forgotten’ like saying his name as a plea was because this foot was being so rudely left out, said with such daddy energy as is ‘I love them both equally’ and once again doing the absolute most massage wise to prove that, nbd]

Nancy: [‘promise?’ so seriously because we’re not talking about our feet right now, like you aren’t allowed to forget anything ever ‘it doesn’t matter how long it’s been’ because we haven’t forgotten a single moment in that time is absolutely the vibe]

Teddy: [‘on my mother’s life’ as his first ref to her being in the next room for all this, with a hot lol cos she is and you’re into it as I said before ‘you’re all that matters’ seriously because he isn’t enjoying life rn at all with uni starting and he clearly enjoyed the time y’all were broken up even less, couldn’t even get it up, god bless ‘time’s irrelevant, other people even more so’ because you both did a lot of hoeing but didn’t care about any of them] 

Nancy: [laughing with him because you are too and seriously, have not tried to be quiet once this entire time like you could be doing less but never ‘I’m sure she’d be thrilled’ like if she was conscious right now and had a clue, gesturing via only moving your body that you want him to come close/get in this damn bath with you ‘it’s you and me’]

Teddy: [‘she’ll be obsessed with you’ like how could she not LOVE you even though we Jemily know he means it in the sense of being a hater realistically if anything but that’ll amuse him as much if not shamelessly more than if they did get on, so once again, he’s the opposite of mad about this, finally ceasing this foot massage onslaught but only to pull her body towards him and come at her with the softest and most expensive flannel known to man because he’s defs been at this long enough that it could be time to take the facemask off, not able to do it as gently as he should be because he’s !! saying her name like he can’t quite believe she’s here despite how long she has been]

Nancy: [making a noise like I bet she will, as if his mum is listening in on this right now and into it when that’s just y’all being feral heathens, on the real though you know what kind of woman his mother is and that she’d not stand you and you obviously don’t care even a little, here acting as if you might pull him into this bath but you’re only going to stroke his face in the same pattern as he is washing this mask off of yours]

Teddy: [in no world are they not going to kiss through this flannel, when it’s fully covering her face at the end to make sure he didn’t miss any, as their first since she got here because it’s a throwback to when they did through the pillow as what I think was their first ever if I recall correctly, it’s poetic cinema and I simply must]

Nancy: [it absolutely was and hence we are DYING, simply having to pull him into us/this bath even though he’s still clothed to whatever degree he was, no fucks given because y’all were making out then like you were trying to break each other and the same energy must be brought whilst you try not to fully suffocate on this flannel rn]

Teddy: [I had to do it to ‘em, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up, no thought at all for the casual flood this giant boy is causing when he’s pulled in because that bath was FULL and likewise none for whatever clothes he’s wearing rn that he forlornly put on after changing out of his costume during the drama hours, the way he’s acting like they’re fully fucking rn because their bodies have not been anywhere near this close since he carried her in and he couldn’t be more turned on and more responsive to the contact, unhinged sounds being made as they are both getting lowkey waterboarded by this flannel because it’s only getting soggier as she’s getting pushed more underwater with these antics]

Nancy: [me like this water will be going under the door onto your carpets and you’re gonna wake up in that drugged haze and be like why are the carpets wet did I piss or has there been a flood lol, soz Amanda but it’s gotta be done, as had pulling him in this tub, there was no way we were leaving without doing it, here truly about to drown because you can’t stop any of it, making out to the point of waterboarding and pulling his weight onto you like you’re not going under this remaining water, girl calm down but you never will]

Teddy: [you can’t tell me this bitch has never drunkenly left a bath running at least once herself so she’ll probably assume when she can have a coherent thought that that’s what happened, catch him THROWING this flannel and 1000% breaking something because of how dramatically he did but obvs not because he cares about either of them drowning but only because like when they threw the pillow aside, he wants to kiss her properly, she’ll still be suffocating because no recovery pause given and she’s still got the weight of his fully clothed wet body on top of her, catch him also MOANING so extra into her mouth like they haven’t kissed for a million years]

Nancy: [when the flinching is for once real but the way you use it as an excuse to fling your arms around his neck and pull into his is unnecessary but entirely necessary, so into how his body feels against these skin tight wet clothes so you’re then running your hands down his shoulders and arms, saying a truly breathless hi into this makeout like you’ve just got here because can never be close enough, running your fingers through his hair and letting your hands rest at the back of his neck so there’s no getting out of this closeness right now]

Teddy: [me like sure as a child of baze you’d have trauma about things getting thrown and broken, let’s have THAT conversation, but not rn cos he’s doing a truly breathless ‘oh hello’ back like mhmm fancy seeing you here, take a moment to likewise play with all the jewellery you can lovingly grab because that’s always important for y’all, also touch a bruise that’s starting to form from y’all’s sink antics because he really did press her face into it and there’s been time enough to start to see that without us needing to say it was !! and thus popping off sooner because I’m not suggesting it was that hardcore however mad he was, hitting her with a ‘darling’ about it though]

Nancy: [my boo says shall we get real on this day lmao and they say no, giggling at him with the full force of your heart eyes because you really do find him attractive in a way that makes you feel ridiculous in the best way, here feeling shy like he didn’t bring you in naked and a HOT MESS, nodding like yes I know, how could you lol but smiling ‘I’ve forgiven you too’]

Teddy: [poking her in the cheek where you get those natural creases when you smile or laugh but obvs just with his wedding ring finger (unaware of it himself probably that’s just subconsciously how much he’s thought about marrying her recently, not deliberately like when he touched her indecently with it) because she’s ADORABLE and he has to ‘you still love me’ not as a question but a statement like I know you do, the fingers of his other hand combing through her hair like its part of the regiment of this hair mask which hasn’t technically been washed off but might lowkey have been during the drowning]

Nancy: [you’re unlikely to notice that girl but jemily see y’all and appreciate the extraness you’re coming at each other with ‘you don’t have to fuck it out of me’ putting your hands between y’all to lightly push him back teasingly because did not appreciate that comment at all thank you but we don’t truly want you to stop or leave ever]

Teddy: [that was mean of me to say tbh, but this boy treating it like a big joke in this moment with his OTT pout at her ‘but I so very desperately want to’ as if this means they aren’t gonna hookup at all, lol imagine]

Nancy: [raising your brows and looking down like you’re thinking about how desperately he wants to and shaking your head like no, not enough but it’s very much giving ‘yet’ as you start what would honestly be a task of helping him out of whatever wet clothes he has on, t-shirt being the first because easiest to go]

Teddy: [a lil scoff like excuse you because couldn’t want her more and that’s SO obvious, pulling her into him to make it even more so as she removes his t-shirt and he shivers v dramatically and also slams his hips into hers, unhelpful for the clothes removal task but he gotta]

Nancy: [the dramatic intake of breath you hold in as you pause, being this close to him before taking the equivalent of a step back because you want to have your hands on him and you want to be able to watch ‘I’m not going to leave you wanting’ gotta have your own sassy dig at him for leaving you and your party, kissing him like he’ll be unable to reply that way lol]

Teddy: [‘you’re going to make me cry’ in reply at first as if don’t be so mean for the distance she put between them but then even more for the unbreakable code that blush wasn’t either when we used it in the car scene when we were writing you OG, cos blatant what he truly means by it the second she touches him ‘your hand’ coming out exactly like when we all remember he said her pussy, cos identical energy, in this moment being gasped/basically quietly moaned out because of how !! he is, kissing her back so hard we’re all hoping she doesn’t break that tooth again]

Nancy: [nodding again like yes I am because we must, unfinished business combined with the fact we’ve been here under these jets means it’s time to give this boy our full attention, moaning against his lips and pushing him so he’s the one lying back and we’re on top of him so we’ve got more control on how we’re doing this ‘you want me to hold your hand…’ because always saying that, taking his hand with your spare and making him touch himself too, not stopping yourself, as if you’re asking do you mean like this?]

Teddy: [the sensory overload of everything she’s doing + also being able to feel these jets on his own skin now he isn’t fully clothed meaning he can only nod back, biting the back of his other hand but it’s more for the hot visual because all the noises are escaping anyway along with his insane panting breathing and the dramatic !! ‘fuck!’ that he can’t help but say more than once]

Nancy: [when you had every intention of sucking his dick like you said you would before but now you are simply too obsessed with WATCHING his every reaction that you decide you’re just going to keep being the most indecent with how you’re touching him, it’s practically a massage with how much you’re focusing on making him feel as good as you possibly can, making comforting noises and kissing the palm of his hand that’s facing you like it’s okay, there there, licking the palm of his hand like he did the sole of your foot]

Teddy: [it’s giving he ain’t even gonna make it to this club haha but are any of us mad about it, absolutely not, there will be time for that later because he isn’t gonna let her leave any time soon, just be here DYING about every second of this, needing to SQUEEZE his eyes shut which he never does so that’s a clear indication she’s doing everything right, saying her name like even more of a plea than she said his earlier like don’t stop EVER]

Nancy: [we love everything about his reaction and it’s only encouraging us to carry on in this vein, finding whatever boujee bath oils are at the side of this tub to use to make him all slick as well as your body, which you’re using to help rub against him ‘it’s okay’ because not going to tell you to shh when that’s not what we want ‘you can let it out’]

Teddy: [when you’ve gotta open your eyes again to watch the absolute carnage she’s causing however good it feels and however much you wanna keep them closed, actually making his eyes sting a lil bit and be almost watering, being so ridiculously loud with all the unhinged sounds he’s making not even because she wants him to but because he can’t help but to be with how gone he is, speaking of, I don’t make the rules and Winola gay says he’s gotta scream ILY like he made her do even though he hasn’t cum yet because he’s v close]

Nancy: [wiping away his ‘tears’ by actually licking them away because why wouldn’t you, there is no holding back occurring here, thank god the medicated coma is real because you’re being loud enough to wake the dead sir and this gal is very much encouraging you to keep going with how this only spurs her on to go harder, saying his name like a reply like yes, what do you want? Like you have NO idea]

Teddy: [he’ll be here trying to demand she says it back but because he’s so !! it won’t be coherent because there’s so many ways he could be like tell me you love me/say it back etc and she’s getting bits and pieces of each possible way his brain could think to as gibberish/words that don’t usually go together, because obvs + calling her princess again + all the unhinged sounds that are continuing, it’s carnage and they love that, it’s karma tbh that this boy sounds horrifically disabled himself haha but his brain is short circuiting that hard rn I fear, you’re gonna have to kiss her SO hard again as if to shut her up from making fun of you because you know that was nonsense but you can’t correct yourself in this moment]

Nancy: [the way I know this absolute scene is going to make you push him inside of you even though you know damn well he’s going to cum instantly but you can’t help it that you’re too affected yourself and that’s simply what you want, obviously saying ILY into his mouth even though y’all are back to suffocating levels here because you’d understand what he was getting at and you gotta to kill him]

Teddy: [the neighbours at least are welcome that he won’t be screaming the place down because they can’t all be in comas and he is gonna DIE so dramatically, instantly just like my boo said, there’s just no way he wouldn’t]

Nancy: [just here shamelessly riding him until you cum too even though he’s beyond dead and can’t deal, you must, soz to your neighbours because absolute nuisances the pair of you, still, collapse on top of him when you’re done]

Teddy: [when he’s recovered enough the first thing he’s gonna do is a hot lol because forever the vibe that they are just like toddlers causing absolute scenes so he’s loving life, there’s some disbelief in it like omg I can’t believe that just happened but not because he cares about the carnage but because of the absolute 180 they have done since he left the party to being even more loved up than when said party started, giving her the most indecent 2 cheek kisses of all time, like when she said hi before, but one missing and landing more in the corner of her mouth because he’s DEAD]

Nancy: [doing your own hot lol which is more like a happy sigh because struggling to get your breath back too much for a full moment here ‘yeah, I’m forgiven’ with a little smug smile because you feel as if you’ve thoroughly earnt it lmao, looking around, as if for the first time because it is since y’all got carried away, at the utter carnage ‘what will you say?’ very heavily giving IF she asks because we know you won’t clean this up but we also know it’s a possibility your mother might just think it was her because the sad life she’s living]

Teddy: [the way he doesn’t even look around at it because he truly does not care, instead just here giving her heart eyes as he once again combs his fingers through her hair, cupping his hands to throw water over a bit of this hair mask which hasn’t washed out during y’alls antics ‘I’ll tell her the truth’ very heavily giving ABOUT YOU and my feelings for you because wants to tell the world atm, we’re in that bubble]

Nancy: [‘you would’ because we absolutely believe you would tell your mum that you fucked someone in her ensuite whilst she was passed out in bed, not sounding horrified or even weirded out by this but like that’s something we admire about you because it is, getting some fresh water run so you can clean some of this bath oil off of his body and yours, just being soft]

Teddy: [‘absolutely’ because he’s 100% that bitch and he regrets nothing nor will he ever, smiling at her because he’s equally proud of himself for being this way lol, likewise be washing her, at first just joining in with the oils removal of it all but then getting into it and fully doing her entire body, back included, like you do in a bath, pampering her again, using a fancy body wash/soap and sponge/loofa/body brush, whatever he can grab which all feels expensive and lovely, going all in on raiding his mother’s supplies which he scattered everywhere the first time]

Nancy: [smiling back at him and shaking your head like oh you because he’s such a card ‘difference is my mother would actually kill me’ because no chance of you getting away with behaviour that blatant with your fam without getting a smackdown; just here letting him absolutely love upon you, your only contribution being to wash his hair for him because you want to be up in there and shamelessly get to be heart eyes at him]

Teddy: [‘and your father would kill me’ because true but he’s saying it amused because he loves to shit stir we all remember when Theo punched him, don’t mind this boy being such a happy cat about this hair wash, closed eyes because it feels nice and happy sighs and letting it turn him on again already and all, the way they are so cuddled up lying in this bath because he is a toll boy and it’s your mother’s not yours even if it is the boujee-est, still an en-suite in a townhouse so it can’t be insanely big]

Nancy: [‘you wish’ because we know you and your mischievous ways lol ‘he doesn’t care about me’ doing a dramatic pout and cuddling into him more, silently saying but you do with your body language, pouring the water over his head like he’s a baby, kissing his forehead when you’re done]

Teddy: [‘you don’t need him to, I do’ so dismissive of her actual dad with his tone like ugh bye flop ‘I’ll treat you better than he ever has, or even could’ like a promise, doing the pinky thing with it because she said that earlier]

Nancy: [whispering ‘daddy’ in his ear in an OTT saucy manner because he’s already turned on and you can tease him a little, nibbling his ear again whilst you’re here]

Teddy: [a nod that she’ll feel as she’s nibbling his ear because yes I am lol ‘you can’t be spoilt/spoiled (because idk which one it is) hard enough’ in the same OTT saucy manner because it’s just another way to say ruin and you’ve also added hard/harder into it there too so, we love to keep giving princess vibes, TOUCH all the jewellery again, pulling her body into yours more than it already is as you do]

Nancy: [‘do I deserve it?’ sincerely given that y’all are just messing about because you don’t feel like it but you would like to because you want it nevertheless, sitting up properly instead of lounging all over him so he can really get a look at all this jewellery he has bought/given you]

Teddy: [‘you can be royal every day’ because we all remember when she said to him that it can be his bday every day including this boy, as sincerely, as if there was any doubt here and now that he doesn’t just mean for her bday month but forever and always]

Nancy: [kissing him, slower and softer than you have been but with ALL the feeling right now, hugging him to you and pressing your body into his because need to be as close as is physically possible ‘I need this’ because can’t overstate how you have missed him]

Teddy: [shamelessly getting even more turned on by the softness and the feelings and letting her feel that as he does a v quiet noise into her mouth for the absolute contrast of not that long ago ‘whatever you need, it’s yours, I won’t leave you wanting from this day forward’ we all see you phrasing that last part like vows are, not subtle at all lol lol]

Nancy: [she is likewise and doing adorable but kind of feral for how little and soft they are noises about it, being very baby and very !! in a quiet way ‘you know what I want’]

Teddy: [we love to see it, the girlies have really made up and are loved up af, hence he’s simply gotta touch her with only his ring finger again rn immediately, being as slow and soft but still !! about it as her kiss was]

Nancy: [hiding in his neck when you look and realise what he’s doing right now, giving him a nippy lil lovebite about it because you can’t deal twofold now]

Teddy: [‘when are we getting married?’ fully said so casually like it’s any other kind of everyday question and not that one, and like he’s not continuing to do what he’s doing in such a deliberate manner]

Nancy: [‘you don’t want to be boring like everyone else’ as something you struggle to say but do because you did say everyone is doing this and kids earlier and it’s true]

Teddy: [shaking his head because true ‘you want me to be bored by your cousin’ because gotta be the flop who wants to do it when her, doing a lil pout but purely to do it and not because he’s actually anything but down to clown as far as this plan goes]

Nancy: [‘if you want a wedding where everyone knows, yeah’ doing a little shrug because saying you could be married and still do this plan, though you could not get as far as the altar unless you wanted to nearly commit bigamy but we’re sick of the plan idea right now because we’re not nearly stable enough with you to be thinking about it tbh]

Teddy: [‘you know what I want’ to echo her words from a sec ago and also because we all do, all he wants is her rn, using his pinky finger to touch her too now like we’re promising again]

Nancy: [LOOKING into his eyes, difficult as it currently is and doing a BIG breath out, nodding like okay ‘stop thinking about her’ like not right now thank you]

Teddy: [‘I’ve never once thought about her’ because true, literally even when he was talking to her, could not care less and did not register a thing lol ‘just you’ because his motivation for doing this is entirely Nancy centric]

Nancy: [‘stop talking’ and kissing him so he has to but this is said with a smile and we’re still kissing you softly, not a literal stfu lmao]

Teddy: [kissing in her a full cliche movie star manner including the dip so she’s lowkey hanging out over this bath for a moment in a way that’s also giving a nod to the balcony antics, being peak romance but in his own chaotic way]

Nancy: [live your life gals, having a lovely time and we can probably leave y’all having it for the time being tbh]

Teddy: [we know the vibes, whether they ever get out of this bath or not haha, I envy y’all watching the film cos I wanna now if only to hear how bad Liz’s accent is]

[husbandhoshi]

me booping you as a monthly checkup (which is smth im doing frm today onwards) :D

HOWS LIFE LILY???? HOWS SCHOOL???? WHICH YEAR OF MED ARE YOU IN NOW???? - okay too many caps locks, anyways-

idk if you celebrate but how was good friday and easter? did you have fun? how was your weekend? have you been busy at the hospital a lot? HAVE YOU DRUNK WATER TODAY POOKIE 👹👹

any gossip around you we (or i) should know about? dame im starting my 3rd year in a bit and im STRESSED. med school is tough man 😭😭

ive been so fucking busy, i didnt even know there was a follow to incheon the past weekend 😭

OH AND OMG I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS

remember the two girls and their boyfriends (from my uni) i told you about some time ago? the one where the boyfriends grab hold of the other girl instead of their girlfriends? IT HAS FUCKING ESCALATED

apparantly - im renaming them as olivia (ex boyfriend justin) and jane (ex boyfriend mathew) - olivia and justin were "engaged" since they were younger?? its like a tradition of sorts in their caste to betroth the girl to someone once they start menstruating. so like olivia got betrothed to justin when she was like 14? i think. justin did like olivia A LOT like he was booktok smitten in love with her. and then like when the two of them started university with like a bunch of other people, justin met jane in his freshman orientation. they sat beside each other and they hit off.

jane met mathew in one of her classes and it seemed like she shared multiple of her classes with mathew so they kept on talking and then eventually got into a relationship. and then mathew saw olivia in the garden once and found her "pretty" and started making conversations with her (mind you mathew was already well into the relationship with jane) and so they started conversing and now olivia starts gaining feelings for the guy and becomes confused because "how can i have feelings for two people at once?" so this went on for like a good year. olivia and justin being in a relationship with jane and mathew are in a relationship. all while jane and justin were hanging around each other a lot and olivia would still be very fucking confused about her feelings because of the CONSTANT FLIRTING from mathew.

and then second term of sophomore started (post winter break), sophomores were planning to get drunk somewhere and olivia didnt want to go. shes not really big on alcohol and parties. jane, justin and mathew went (all of them went separately). fast forward to i think a few hours later, all three of them are piss drunk and someone spikes their drinks. jane and justin go to one of the private rooms to have sex and mathew continues getting piss drunk. drunk mathew misses olivia so he goes to her dorm, she lets him in, he has a bit of water, they have sex.

i dont think i mentioned something.

olivia doesnt know mathew is in a relationship with someone.

mathew doesnt know olivia is in a relationship with someone.

jane doesnt know justin is in a relationship with someone.

justin doesnt know jane is in a relationship with someone.

olivia is entirely SOBER when she lets mathew have sex with her.

this going behind each others back goes on for months until the fist fight thingy that happened.

and then, olivia and justin go home from uni on a break and yk how word spreads FAST right? their parents already knew about their infidelity before they even reached home. the engagement is called off. olivia is transferring to another uni in a different continent entirely. justin still goes to my uni. about jane and mathew? no one knows where they vanished actually. like they're no where to be found after the fist fight fiasco.

thenkiu for reading my tedtalk lily 🤓

~ rai 😘

RAIIIIII hello babe i am so sorry i took forever to answer this 😭😭😭😭 i had to dig in and pull out my actual computer to dissect this TEA…

im good!!! im starting my third year at the end of the month :) just waiting for the results of my big test to come in bc that will determine whether or not i get to start 😬 we’ve been studying for this exam for quite some time so no gossip or hospital stories to share :(( literally my life has been waking up studying and then going to sleep. but i just came back from a trip to nyc which was super fun !

and yes i did celebrate easter w my family!!! we did a seafood boil which was SOO good! what did you do?

ok ok after reading the drama update i am SEATED. first i know there r cultural reasons for getting betrothed / engaged etc so early but i think this is just confirmation that No One was ready 😭😭 honestly it breaks my heart bc it sounds like there were really Real feelings involved in all of this but the fact that no one could keep their hands to themselves 😬 Telling! plus the like 0 communication KILLS ME!!! please don’t stay together then!!!! also i’m side eyeing mathew bc he sounds selfish and from what i understand initiated a lot of the drama???? idk but transferring schools and disappearing is CRAZY too…… sheesh

i had a similar situation happen to my friends in high school where friend A had been on/off dating boy A for years and years (on/off bc her parents didn’t approve). her best friend B had been crushing on boy B for years but didn’t move in on it bc she was scared he didn’t reciprocate. so friend A and boy A are on a break and allegedly friend A invites boy B to her place and they sleep together. friend B finds out and to retaliate sleeps with boy A at her bday party. then they both mutually blocked each other after not saying a WORD abt it to each other & just hearing ab things thru word of mouth. crazy how people can just turn on each other like that

drama ASIDE. how are you?? i know you’re busy but is it a good busy??? i hope you have time to enjoy urself!!

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

Imma add on to this with my own burble

Tw for suicide Attempt, self-hatred, drug use, emergency stuff

And probably get a tissue if the above didn't make you get a whole motherfucking box already.

Imagine a *slightly* more canonical timeline where Ice is married to Sarah--but ice and Mav (or maybe even just Mav) have been in love with each other ever since they meant and didn't want to prevent the other from achieving their goals. (And Ice doesn't die in the middle of the movie. Small reprieve)

Imagine that when Mav learned that Bradley called, he was angry at them for not letting him speak to his own son. There's an argument between them which starts to snowball and get really ugly when people start bringing up Mav's past fuck-ups and ends with them not talking to each other. Mav eventually manages to patch it up somewhat with Ice, who acts as the bridge between the two sides. (They never get to talking it out maybe cuz they're busy I guess?)

Imagine Rooster's words cutting Mav to the heart. Even after the mission and they manage to save each other, maybe they try to talk but both of them are too hot-headed to actually dissect what happened in a calm manner so it turns into another screaming match. They both go away angry and the regret and guilt is soul-crushing when they realize what they said to each other.

Rooster goes back to his house in San Diego (bear with me on my barely-baked logistics here) and doesn't find his son anywhere. It turns out Mitchell is with some sketchy people, hanging out with them on a bridge. He's a little angry at the world, at his dad and the stress of a suicide mission and not knowing if his dad will come home.

Meanwhile, Maverick's self hatred has culminated to a point where he doesn't think he can take it anymore. His whole life has been one massive fuckup. He kills people. He sends people to their deaths. He has fucked up every meaningful relationship he's ever had, bar Hondo--although he's so sure that it'll happen again that he doesn't want to be around to see it happen.

He goes to a bridge, fully intending to jump off and end it once and for all and do the right thing (in his mind) for once. Even then he knows (thinks, actually) that he's being selfish, the Daggers are his baby pilots. But he doesn't wanna fuck that up too--he doesn't want them to be exposed to his poisonous touch for too long.

And so he goes to the bridge, but sees some rowdy teenagers standing against the railing and doing drugs or whatever. He tells them gently to go back home, to not do that to themselves, and to clear the fuck out. They all do. Maybe Mitchell introduces himself to Maverick and Maverick introduces himself back (first names only). Mitchell feels uncomfortable about leaving this old guy alone (because he hasn't heard enough stories or doesn't have enough info to connect Granddad to the man in front of him) but does it anyway. He hears a big splash.

He calls back the friends and they manage to call 911 and rescue Maverick, Mitchell manages to call Rooster and they meet each other at the hospital.

Maybe Maverick, in a state of delirium, starts screaming and begging Goose for forgiveness--and that's when it clicks for Mitchell.

This forces the Flyboys, Mav, Ice, and Rooster to talk everything out. Everyone sees what effect everyone's actions had on each other and how that exacerbated problems and bad feelings and trauma. And they probably get a therapist in the room with them this time.

Maybe they start to try and repair everything, bit by bit. They're all sorry. They're all trying to support each other while they figure everything out.

Maybe one day Mav and Rooster and Mitchell are sitting near the hangar and just enjoying the sun on their faces--and they all feel so loved, almost like the ghosts from their pasts are not glaring down at them in hatred or disgust, but standing near them and watching as the living cherish each other.p

Hi TG Fandom!

It’s me again! 

So, we all know Rooster had his little meltdown and said his whole schtick: “No wife. No kids. No one to mourn you when you burn in.” to Maverick like a spoiled little brat while having none of those things. And okay, he was mad, sure, but he hit below the belt — anyway, hang on…

Imagine this instead:

A nineteen-year-old Rooster going to college classes at a university that isn't the Academy (after blowing up at the only family he has left), who falls for a Bio Major that offered him a free bulb when his tail-light blinker went out. 

I need you to imagine that he really loves this girl — the full Carl and Ellie from Up — he loves her more than anything. Of course, they have no money and they live off ramen noodles in a shitty studio apartment. But he starts a life with this girl, proposes to her with his Mom’s ring, and all he wants to do is call Mav and Ice, to call the Flyboys, to say look at her, isn't she perfect?

He starts to lose that anger, it flows out of him with every hungry night that he gives up his dinner so she can have more, with every paycheck-to-paycheck month and when they both pull all-nighters to make it through.

He slowly realizes how much Mav must have sacrificed when he was small and suddenly, he feels wrong inside. 

He wants to apologize, to go home. 

But he's still young and bitter and he doesn't want them to be right. He doesn't want not-going-to-the-Academy to be a good thing. He wants to be right. 

So he chickens out of it every time he goes for the phone, finding yet another reason to push it off. 

Until there are three positive pregnancy tests on the bathroom sink and he's barely twenty and they get married at the courthouse because they're desperate. 

They graduate at the same time and she's pregnant with triplets. 

He’s floored, because triplets? 

They have nothing, but it’s a beautiful life nevertheless.

They move to Cali and live in his parents’ old house. Bradley joins the Navy and she decides to start teaching. He refuses to ask for help, even when they struggle, even when he knows his family is less than an hour away. He also feels so guilty, because now there are going to be babies and he has a wife and it all seems so small in comparison. He doesn't care about the Academy anymore. All he cares about is her and the babies.

He doesn't know how to do this, how to be a father without the men who showed him what it is to be one.

And he's going to call, he swears he is…

Then his wife starts complaining about a headache that doesn't go away and her ankles are so swollen. 

He rushes her to the ER as fast as he can, but she has a seizure in the car that goes on for forever. She has eclampsia. She won't stop seizing. They have to do an emergency C-section. She's only twenty-three weeks. 

They lose her on the table, Baby A never makes it to the NICU, Baby C is born sleeping — there was something wrong with the placenta — and they ask him if he wants to try and save Baby B. 

Baby B, the smallest of the bunch, who has a severe form of spina bifida, a cleft lip and is barely a pound. 

Bradley says yes and plans for four funerals at the age of twenty-one. 

But Baby B doesn't die, he gets just about every dangerous complication for a twenty-three-weeker in the NICU, but he doesn't die. 

Mitchell Thomas Bradshaw — Mickey — named after the two strongest men that Bradley knows — comes home with him after seven months in the NICU. 

I need a Bradley who intimately understands what he's saying to Maverick, I need a Bradley who has had both of those things — a wife, kids — and lost them too. 

I need a Bradley who has lived a life in the interim and has grown up despite every challenge he faced, whose anger isn't really anger anymore. 

I need a Bradley who tried to call home once, only once, while his baby was dying in the NICU, and was told to stop calling after what he did by one of the Flyboys (probably while Ice was sick). 

I need a Bradley who has a deeper reason to be upset, who is angry at himself as much as he is at Maverick. 

I need a Bradley who has been raising a child for fifteen years on his own — one who gives him just as much back-talk and sass as he once gave Mav — who lost the person he loved most in the world and his children and somehow had to keep going. 

I need a Bradley who has become Maverick. 

That’s how that line makes sense anyway 🤣

[theneverendingmixtapecontinued]

Daily Update 359 (No Sex In The Champaign Room)

I had a lot I wanted to tell you at the park today...

And something in particular that I can’t remember because I didn’t write it down, so that’s REALLY frustrating...

I just woke-the-fvck up and here we are.... 

I FINALLY internalized “perfect (for me)”...

I FINALLY internalized “I love you, and I MEAN IT”...

I FINALLY internalized that I’m actually sexy... 

I also just realized how different we are...

Like we share the same morals and values, but our personalities are polar opposites (introvert versus extrovert, basically)...

I used to think we were entirely similar.... 

Those are NOT the things I wanted to say on my hike...

But I do have lots more I want to say here, it’s just all swirling around in my head...

Fear is preventing me from actually blogging my feelings...

You would think that since nobody reads this thing, it’d be a lot easier to write...

That was the whole idea behind creating it, at least...

I know it’s NOT the same layout, but at least it’s some place to vent openly and without all the (negative) baggage... 

I was just talking to a guy, who wanted my body and not my mind nor my heart (he’s never said “I love you” to a girl), and though he was sexie himself, and shit. and it felt good to hear...

He dissected my past relationships and psycho-analyzed me and overwhelmed me with talk of sex...

On top, he doesn’t have a real job, lives in an hour away with NO privacy, and doesn’t have a car of his own... 

Sorry, but yeah, (I’ve always said) NO car is a deal breaker...

And yet, I was STILL willing to give it a shot because he was hot (looked like Yorgos, but tall like you) and I felt like we were clicking...

And I’m NEVER wrong, I know what a click is...

He said he liked talking to me, but he didn’t feel at ease...

(I told him he overwhelmed me...)

Don’t tell me you have reservations, and don’t tell me you text a girl all the time if you really like her....

Because you know what, I’m going to think things if you don’t...

Each relationship has it’s own set of rules based on the needs of both people involved...

And being a Taurus *AHEM*, this guy was not willing to compromise for me...

And I’m sorry, being hyper focused on physical attraction/attention and past relationships/experience is NOT a love language...

It’s a sign that you don’t know how to be a girl’s friend, think of them only for procreation (which he did), and don’t put any value in developing an actual rapport with a girl...

Basically, you don’t know how to treat a girl RIGHT....

Respect is overrated, but prying into a person’s sex life is beyond rude, it’s gross....

Then again, never talking about it, shying away from it, and never expressing any interest in it whatsoever is also NOT good...

I was at least willing to talk about things, as vulnerable and exposed as I felt....

You know, a compromise of sorts....

(But, geez do I feel embarrassed about the whole thing...)

Avoiding it all together is NOT a healthy way to be in a mature relationship, either...

Even if you are, THANKFULLY, taking the girl’s lead....

UGH....

I’ve ONLY loved you...

I STILL love you....

 I will ALWAYS love you...

All the other guys (give or take) can just suck it...

And that that you have a poly-amorous streak....

Morals aside, each relationship REALLY is different, and your personal rules should never be set in stone...

Otherwise you can miss out big time on something, ANYTHING, that makes you feel good.... 

I’ve learned a deep and valuable lesson, here....

I just pray to God that shmuck I talked to did, too...

And, also, I hope el Gordito forgives meesht....

A LOT I learned for my higher calling, too....

If you build it, they (her/him) will come, right???...

Love Always,

#GarfieldSays