#i love cars so much sorry
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Drive Me Crazy
*Archive Edition* Previously only linked to AO3, full work now available under the cut.
Rating: Explicit
Guy Gardner/Kyle Rayner
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Sex on a Car, car talk, Blow Jobs, Masturbation
Guy is supposed to be resting and recovering, but he'd rather pass the time working on his car than laying about. Kyle's not much help for letting him rest.
Read on AO3
Drive Me Crazy
Guy was a really unfortunate combination of hard-working and short sighted. If he would ever just use the damn ring or ask for some help it wouldn’t take so long for his latest combat wounds to heal. The closest he managed to come to something resembling resting his body was when he dropped face-down onto the mattress after several rounds of sex or entirely too many beers.
“Alcohol is a blood thinner, you know,” Kyle said, pushing sweaty hair out of his face.
“Mruh,” Guy responded, neither acknowledging nor denying the information.
Instead of icing his battered knee or kicking back in bed to let his ribs knit themselves back together, Guy decided to distract himself with some neglected work around the garage. He pushed the gold Trans-Am into the open bay door instead of driving it because, “The clutch is too soft. Don’t wanna plow through the wall.” Whatever that meant.
So Kyle watched his partner grunt and drip sweat in the morning sun. An excellent way to start the day, Kyle thought to himself as he raised his mug to his lips. The heat of the fresh coffee pooled in his belly along with other things. Kyle’s fingers wandered under his waistband as he thought about Guy’s big, powerful body. He knew he should be better about insisting that Guy rest and maybe not enable his bad behavior. But Guy had needs. And he had needs, too.
The cheery sunlight put the dips and curves of Guy’s muscles in sharp contrast. His huge basketball shorts rode up as he planted his feet and pushed the obnoxiously painted vehicle forward. The backs of Guy’s black and white hi-tops were crushed flat from sliding them on without untying them a hundred times. Kyle’s eyes traveled the taught line from Guy’s Achilles tendon along the rippling calf to the middle of his bulging thigh. Big thighs, shapely ass, back like a mountain range—everything tensed, everything heated and sweaty.
Kyle bit his lip and imagined how good that damp, sun-warm t-shirt smelled. He would definitely abscond with that later. Guy’s grunts and curses made it easy for Kyle to imagine those sounds coming from above, Guy panting, sweat dripping. Kyle could feel the soft brush of chest hair against his throat, the rasp of stubble against his temple.
“Big fuckin’ bitch,” Guy coughed out, as he patted the trunk affectionately. He lifted the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face. Kyle needed to put his own face in the molten center of Guy’s hot, sweaty chest immediately. Still in his pajamas, which is to say Guy’s clothes from yesterday, Kyle shuffled his feet into some sneakers and headed out the front door.
The big, gold Pontiac gently rocked against the parking brake as Guy lovingly worked the drain plugs out of the differential. He checked the plugs for any metal debris and ducked the arc of brown, draining fluid with practiced ease. He lifted the wet plug to his nose and smelled it. No sign of contamination or overuse. He loved that smell—real 75 weight mineral oil. It smelled like hot summers on the drag strip and cavitating pumps at the amusement park.
“I’m not the mechanic here,” Kyle said, leaning on the garage door-frame, “but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you change oil.”
“You’re right. I’m juicing the pumpkin,” Guy’s voice came from under the rear end of the car. He began the quick work of refilling the gear oil and returning the plug to its proper position and torque.
Kyle scrunched his lips to the side, wondering how a pumpkin had gotten stuck under the car. He pursued his seduction head-on without questions. “Thank goodness I have a big strong man to take care of my car for me.”
Guy’s upper body came into view as he rolled the creeper out from under the car. He raised a suspicious eyebrow in Kyle’s direction, “My car.”
Kyle sighed and pushed himself off of the door-frame, “I just wish there was some way I could repay you for all of this.” He walked towards the front of the car and leaned his hip on the front quarter panel.
“Never paid me before.” Guy’s eyes roamed slowly over Kyle’s body. He was more than happy to have a booth bunny posing on his ride.
“Isn’t there something I can do for you? Something you’d like?”
“I…you’re fine?” Guy pulled the shredded remains of an old towel out of his overalls and wiped some of the grease off of his fingers. “I was gonna do this anyways?”
Kyle’s chuckle is devilish. He changes tactics, “I want you to show me how your machine works.”
“Oh? Oh! Well in that case,” Guy began, excitedly pushing himself off of the creeper and onto his feet. He pulled the fallen strap of his overalls onto his right shoulder once he was on his feet. If any of the movement caused him pain, he didn’t show it.
Guy walked to the open hood and rested his hands at the front of the engine bay. His eyes swept over Kyle’s long legs and then the the fruits of his labor. “I wanted to keep as much of it as OG as possible, ya know? But she needed some work, that’s for sure. I was running her way too hard—cracked the rings, gouged the cylinders so I had to bore ‘em out.”
“Bore them out. Sure,” said Kyle, expression wide-eyed and lips pressed together.
“The cylinders. They gotta be smooth so I had to drill em out. Widen the holes.”
“Oh.” Kyle moved to lean next to Guy, under the hood. He liked the sound of that.
“Ended up doing a forty overbore—whole new stroke kit, torque plate, the works.”
“Stroke?” Another one of Kyle’s favorite words.
“Yup, more stoke means bigger parts to fill the bigger displacement.”
“Bigger’s always better.”
Guy squinted at Kyle’s enthusiastic nodding, “And then ya gotta balance the rest of the car out to handle that kinda power. But I could only go so far because I ain’t got another transmission and I don’t want to give up my four speed. Wally came by with a custom cam and main caps, too. Really brought the whole thing together.”
“Ah,” Kyle’s face pinched in a frown at the mention of one of his least favorite people. That explained where two bags of Doritos and an entire cheesecake had gone.
“And since I was already doin’ a whole teardown I figure well, gonna need a bigger crank so might as well do a new timing set which let me replace the fuel pump drive so I don’t have to stay carbureted. Lotta guys really like that sound, ya know? Got a certain smell too but long term, you know?”
“Classic, of course,” Kyle knew better than to try and speak man-car to Guy. He’d tried to keep up with the guy-talk once to horrific results. He enjoyed Guy’s gruff voice and his excitement. He just couldn’t understand how anyone actually enjoyed that amount of tedium and suffering to only drive around under very specific conditions. The subway was right there.
“I want her to last. I ain’t no racer. I wanna drive her as long as I can. Springs were rustin’ to hell so I went ahead and put coil-overs on. She sits a little lower but most people wouldn’t see the difference. New control arms, tie rods, you know, the little things. Got her aligned and shined. Upgraded the exhaust so you can still hear that loping rumble. She’s still got it,” Guy said, voice soft as he started to walk around the driver’s side. He let the tips of his fingers trail gently along the aggressive angle of the A-pillar. “Solar Gold Y88, special edition with the T-top. Only the ’78 Trans Ams. She really is…gorgeous. One of a kind.”
“Gorgeous,” Kyle echoed.
“Men like pretty things,” Guy said over his shoulder as he continued his appreciative walk around the vehicle. His piercing blue eyes stayed on Kyle as his fingers follow the curves of the car, “whether they say so or not.”
“We show it in different ways, I guess.” Kyle stands, crossing his arms and cocking his head as he watches Guy prowl.
“You’re an artist. You get it, don’cha?” Guy’s hands worked their way up the passenger side of the car.
“Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder and whatnot.”
“Lucky for me,” Guy grins. He presses himself into Kyle’s space, steps in until they’re nose to nose. His hands flex with the urge to touch more.
“You don’t think you’re beautiful?”
Guy scoffs. He turned away suddenly, reaching for the hood strut. He lifted the enormous gold rectangle and tucked the hood strut into the engine bay. “Kid. I know I’m not,” he says as he drops the hood with a bang.
“Do you?” Undeterred, Kyle stepped behind Guy, crowding him against the front bumper of the car. Feather light, he ran his hands down Guy’s back, gentle with his tender ribs. He let his arms drape around Guy’s waist. He pressed his face between Guy’s shoulder blades and breathed, “You smell good.”
“Psh. B.O. and diff fluid. That’s the manly stuff right there.”
“It is. I like it. I like you sweaty and dirty.”
“You like my dirty hands?” Guy asked, as he laid his greasy hands over Kyle’s paint stained fingers.
“I like what you do with them.”
“Do ya?” Guy smirked as he turned in Kyle’s arms. His hands balled up in the hem of Kyle’s—his—shirt as he roughly tore it over Kyle’s head. He tossed it aside with one hand and grabbed Kyle around the back of his head with the other. He didn't give Kyle a chance to think, much less speak, as he sealed his mouth over Kyle’s. He was done talking.
Kyle let Guy’s grease spattered hands roam as they pleased.
“So? How much a’this little visit is about what I want, and how much of it is about what you want? Hm?”
“Depends how much you’re up for, old man.”
“Oh I’m up for it. I’m always good for it. How ‘bout you, kid? Are you down?” Guy asks, as he shoved Kyle roughly backwards, forcing him to fall onto the hood. Kyle startled; he half expected Guy to freak out about scratches or dents. “Let’s take ya for a little test ride. See what’s gotcha so hot and bothered.”
“You,” Kyle smiled.
“Let’s test that theory. Do a little diagnostic work.” Guy unsnapped one of the straps of his overalls, the look in his eyes heated and predatory.
“Since when are you a mechanic?”
“Since I got tools and shit, how bout that?” Guy’s brow furrowed.
“Tools?”
“Yeah! Lemme go get my new sniffer n’sniff you out.”
“Your what?” Kyle sat up on his elbows, alarmed.
Guy had already stalked away, steel-toed boots thumping a path over to the toolbox. He pulled a few drawers open, metallic clanging and clattering punctuated his search until he found what he wanted. It looked a bit like one of those book-reading lights—a long flexible new protruded from a plastic, oval body and a little rubber tip was affixed to the end.
“What’re you doing with that?”
“C’mere,” Guy surged forward, pinning Kyle to the car and poking him relentlessly with the tool.
“What the fuck! Knock it off!” Kyle laughed, eyes bright as he tried to wrestle the thing out of Guy’s eagle talon grip.
Guy clicked the switch on the side. A little red light flashed and the tool beeped twice. “Oh! Looks like we got a read here, Spock.” Guy held the tool up with exaggerated thoughtfulness, still keeping Kyle pinned down effortlessly with one arm.
“Well, what is it?” Kyle demanded in mock anger.
Guy clicked his tongue and sighed, “Chronic horny, I’m afraid.”
“Is there any cure, doc?” Kyle asked, honey-sweet with a rock of his hips.
“I fuckin’ hope not!”
“You think you’re the guy for the job? You gonna fix me?” Kyle asked as Guy was already popping the button on his jeans and yanking them down.
“I’m gonna fix you real good, you’ll see.” Guy ran his tongue over the big, red ‘W’ tattoo on Kyle’s hip.
The metal hood was cool against Kyle’s heated skin. He let Guy press him down, folded an arm behind his head to keep the hood scoop from digging into his skull. It felt special, being allowed to touch such a valuable car and to be the center of Guy’s focus despite the sun-gold paint and man-sized decal.
Guy’s big hands squeezed Kyle’s thighs as he lavished Kyle’s hipbones with teeth and tongue. He mouthed the bulge in Kyle’s underwear, blue eyes blazing as he stared up and into Kyle’s panting face.
“Yeah,” Kyle growled, taking a rough handful of Guy’s short, copper hair and pressing him down.
“Like that?” Came Guy’s muffled retort. “Yeah I fuckin’ do. And so do you.” Kyle’s rucked-down jeans rustled in the quiet garage as he wrapped his thighs around Guy’s head. He yanked Guy’s hair again, harder. The sound that came out of Guy was as much a growl as it was a raspy chuckle.
It was a lot of power for Kyle to push around—two hundred and twenty pounds of sex and fury, and both with a hair trigger. Like feathering the gas in a tight turn, Guy’s responses were forceful and immediate. And Kyle loved being the one behind the wheel.
Impatient, Kyle hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his underwear and kicked the last of his clothes off. Guy leaned back to give Kyle some room and divested himself of his shirt and dropped the overalls to the floor. Sharp blue eyes drank in all of Kyle’s tanned, tattooed skin one slow inch at a time.
Against the gold paint, the warm undertones of Kyle’s skin shone beautifully. His body was framed by the wings of the firebird decal, giving him the look of a Greek deity on an ancient mural.
“Gorgeous,” Guy said softly, reverently. He thought of how many times his phoenix had been reborn. “One of a kind.” Guy leaned down and his big, warm hands clamped around Kyle’s naked hips.
Kyle felt suddenly unnerved so he shoved Guy’s head down again, “Now take care of me, so I can take care of you.”
“You gonna take care of me?” Guy half-whispered, dragging his stubble along Kyle’s thigh and flattening his tongue against the base of Kyle’s cock, “Gonna go to work, and pay for dinner, and take real good care of me?” Guy flicked those dangerous blue eyes up at Kyle again, “Daddy?”
Talk about shifting into a higher gear, Kyle thought as he yanked Guy’s mouth open with his thumb and shoved his cock in. Maybe their interests weren’t so different. “Yeah, baby,” Kyle hissed. His fingers dug into Guy’s skull as he started to move his hips, “My good boy.”
With a groan, Guy dropped to his knees. His body ignited and relaxed all at once at the praise. He couldn’t stop the soft little sounds that worked their way out of his mouth every time Kyle’s dick hit the back of his throat. He hollowed his cheeks. He dug his fingers into Kyle’s squirming hips.
“Fuck,” Kyle pushed against Guy’s shoulders, “Guy, fuck, I’m gonna…”
Guy grabbed Kyle’s thighs and closed them tight around his head.
“So fuckin' good, you’re so fuckin' good for me, baby,” Kyle’s head tipped back and he stilled.
Guy greedily drank down everything he was given.
Kyle tried to sit up but he kept sliding in his own sweat. He reached his hand up and laughed, “Here, help me up. Switch me.”
Guy was biting his lip, pondering the lovely sight before him.
“What?” Kyle asked. “What’s that look for?”
“Can I just, you know, look at’cha?”
“You sure?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Okay,” Kyle shrugged. He leaned back into his comfortable position with his arms over his head again.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” Guy sighed, taking himself in hand.
Kyle found himself unable to look away from the motion and felt his cheeks heat up. Watching Guy work himself was powerfully masculine and erotic. Kyle could feel his entire body coiling with desire again at the sight. He raised his legs up, running the arches of his feet along Guy’s calves.
Guy ran his fingertips over the tattoo on Kyle’s thigh—a row of the solar system’s planets. “When’d ya get this one?”
“Long time ago. It’s kinda like those bumper stickers people get every time they visit a land mark. I did each planet. The first time I went there. When I was a new Lantern.”
“Nine of em?” Guy panted out.
“Yup. Pluto counts.”
“Good, “ Guy smiled. A bead of sweat rolled down his temple, “N’at one?” He asked, gesturing to the cartoon skull and crossbones on Kyle’s bicep. “Hm. You wanna talk about another man touching me right now?” Kyle teased.
“I dunno,” Guy replied, surprisingly unfazed. His eyes were dark with desire, “Is he hot?”
Kyle couldn’t hold in his laugh. He was not discussing Roy on a scale of 1-10 right now. No way. He started to laugh in earnest and covered his face.
“Don’t do that,” Guy panted, “Tell me later. Come back.”
Kyle dropped his hands to his waist, where he twisted his fingers together awkwardly. “Is this one your favorite?” He asked, trailing his fingers along the ‘W’ on his hip. Guy’s hand started pumping faster.
“Yeah.”
Kyle let his hands trail slowly over his body. He watched the way Guy’s eyes followed the motion. He played with his nipples, pinched them, and smiled at the way it made them both hiss.
“Look at me,” Kyle said, “Keep your eyes open for me.”
Guy grunted in response, but did as he was asked. When he came he nearly lost his balance. Kyle sat up, reaching his hands out. Not thinking, he gripped Guy around the ribs. When Guy twisted away, he jerked back immediately.
“Shit! I’m so sorry! You okay?”
“I’m good,” Guy said with a dopey smile. “All good.”
“You haven’t taken any of your medicine today, have you?” Kyle frowned.
“Psh, what do I need Oxycontin for when I got all this oxytocin, huh?” Guy smiled. He reached out and pinched Kyle’s cheek, “My little drug dealer.” He chuckled and stretched—gingerly as he had forgotten about his ribs again already.
“You sure you’re good?”
“Everything’s good when I got you, baby.”
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wake up, new cryptid just dropped!
It’s true that I’ve had to reimagine my day to day life since we got her, but I can’t imagine how we got this lucky. We thought we would have to work to earn her love, but from the moment she entered our house it’s been a cuddlefest, one I couldn’t possibly deny. There are hurdles she will be facing to be sure (and she will still need to meet the cats face to face) but I’m so happy to see this happy lil cheese every day. Welcome home Raclette!
(The couches will always be hers, even if it means she does try to smush whatever I’m working on at the time!)
#Raclette#I have returned to dog after the longest of absences#despite being surrendered twice she is still so eager to love#and so ridiculously gentle and behaved#her animal manners will need work but it was noted she did live with cats#she’s starting to ignore when they make noises in the other room which is great!#seeing as she’s a pit bull mix I will need to train her as best I can since people will not forgive#she has separation anxiety of course and is anxious on car rides and needs a refresher on basic training#but she has been such a gentle house guest#and she was wonderful when we had visitors#I wanna do right by her she deserves it#poor girl had pneumonia and has allergies#she’s doing well currently#she’s my dog but J loves her just as much as I do#she’s taught me so much in just one week#sorry I’m rambling I just love her so much
285 notes
·
View notes
Photo
#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
waittt i have all three of them drawn in the semi realistic style... threesome of the century
#shitting out posts today im sorry#i wanna draw some more before i post sally on her own but ive been talking so much about them that i needed to drop my design#man... now this is a love triangle where every corner touches. canonically#and now i drop the tags so people unfamiliar can react in shock to what fandom this is 😁#pixar cars#cars#my art
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.
(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#kafka#you guys this thing was fucking huge but i cant spend 250 on it lmao#also the way to tell i love characters or a game a lot is by if i draw them being stupid#i love blade so much hes so funny and suffering....#do not actually give me money to buy a giant burger#i walk around and its so big and i am so small#i would have to actually drive my car just to put a giant stuffed burger in it#there is absolutely no way i can even hold this thing on the way home#i have in fact told my sister this very sadly before i found out the price this morning#i was lamenting last night over giant borger in window........ i want it.......#then i saw the price and was like WELP guess not lol#ill post art for a different fandom later hopefully but this was super important to me to draw#specifically with these characters#worst case scenario i fail my own self inflicted october challenge of a different series each day#but hsr gets two days worst case scenario which isnt bad#im so sorry to anyone who wants to look at mr blade in serious situations i am incapable of serious
294 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cod men + what cars they drive
⤷ feat. The 141 + König
a/n: this is v self indulgent and the sources are the voices in my head thanks
CAPT. JOHN PRICE → 1970 Ford Mustang
☆ I can see Price being all about classics and old cars, so it makes sense that he would have a Mustang.
☆ However, if we had to think more british, alternatively i could see him with a Ford Capri, the british equivalent of the Mustangs.
L.T. SIMON "GHOST" RILEY → 2021 Jeep Wrangler
☆ Ghost couldn't care less about what he drives. He doesn't care for car brands, looks, and, let's be honest, my man's a terrible driver.
☆ With that in mind, he decided it would be better to have a sturdy car, for harsh terrains, and something more familiar to what he is used to driving in missions.
SGT. JOHN "SOAP" MACTAVISH → 2017 Honda Civic
☆ I can't justify this one. It's just the vibes. ☆ It might be a basic car, but it's reliable and looks cool, so i think that would be his reasoning. Gaz would laugh at him for it though.
SGT. KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK → Audi A8
☆ Kyle is the youngest of all of them, and we can assume he gets one fat paycheck by being in one of the most elite taskforces in the world. Plus, he's rarely home, so he's got to make his rare driving worth it.
☆ So it's plausible he would blow a big part of his payment on an expensive car, but that's ok because he would look incredibly hot while doing so.
KÖNIG → 2013 Honda Pilot
☆ Listen. It wasn't his first choice. König hates being noticed, so, logically, he doesn't like big cars at all.
☆ However, he was forced to get this one since it was one of the very few cars that he could fit inside comfortably, considering how absurdly tall he is, so he just accepted it and grew fond of it.
#this is so much fun i love giving my fav chars my fav cars#price driving a muscle car is v sexy and v self indulgent of me i am sorry#capy.writes#cod#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#cod mw22#cod mw2#call of duty mwii#call of duty mw2#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#john price#captain john price#simon riley#simon ghost riley#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#könig#cod könig#konig#cod soap#cod ghost#cod gaz#god price
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥
It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $
I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry
Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered
There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)
I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent
All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂
I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can
So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live
I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid
Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends
I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*
Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!
And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉
#i decided i rather write a help post rather than a suicide note or my own obituary#sorry to ask for your attention AGAIN#mutual aid#important#help#i'm very sorry#mutuals can all kick my ass once for not abandoning me during these times#i wish i had a $ goal but i do not as of now#I'm taking it a day at a time#doing my very best and trying so damn fucking hard.. please help#i rly would just like to escape and have my own tiny place one day.... some place i can live and love happily in#i was on the steets earlier this year and living out of my ex's car. i do not want to go back to that out of desperation#i have been through so much just trying to survive in place where i don't feel like i belong or welcomes me#i need help#babbling
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love it when men r muscular and sweating and panting and when they wear tight shirts that show off their chests and sweaty and dirty and *gunshots*
i also like catboys and twinks tho too don’t worry guys :3
#🔪 - mello talks too much#my older brothers old best friend#IS SO FUCKING HOT#NOW#OHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDSSSDDDE#HE IS 6’6 AND FUCKING JACKED#LIKE COULD CRUSH ME#he posted this pic on instagram where he was all sweaty after a basketball game and i literally crumbled to the floor#i love men i love men i love men#I ALSO LOVE BLUE COLLAR MEN#YESSSD FHHWDHDHUWW#FIX MY CAR IN THAT WIFEBEATER I AM ON MY KNEEEESSSSSSSS#ok i’m done being feral#i have been boy crazy since day 1 i’m sorry
182 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago
#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie “theres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than you” eddie wouldve given him head#if buck had written him into his will and said “because eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrong“ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already#or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said “i know you did”#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings#or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound#and buck corrected them and said “um no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospital” eddie wouldve done unspeakable#things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club#or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said “this doesnt change a thing between us”#eddie wouldve been like “uh no actually it does get in the fucking car rn” and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married#basically#eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so#he had nothing to really compare it to#but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie#eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them#however#buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting#eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi#they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#get him out of there#let eddie free so he can finally have game#omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said “ofc i forgive#you“ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hope everyone is having a SUPER Halloween! 🎃
#gmm#gmm 2969#link neal#rhett mclaughlin#link sans specs#ocean blues#my hero 🦸���️#gosh he's a beautiful superman#blue-tiful boys#my edit#sorry i've been away so long#i miss you guys so much!#i'm so busy this fall with moving and having to find a new car all at the same time#and my health has been kinda wonky as well#still hanging in there tho#hopefully stuff will calm down soon so i can start posting somewhat regularly again#love y'all#muah 😘
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
actually we're going to talk about Folie more because it makes me frickin insane that the two songs that took lyrics from to you unfinished are Coffee's For Closers and w.a.m.s. and in both cases the words are twisted to make them so incredibly painful. because to you is basically to my reading a huge love letter to the band's through all their ups and downs, "all us believers still believe every time we sing "two more weeks'," "you put my head in such a flurry," "send my love, to everyone above" etc etc etc and then not only does CFC take "preaching electric to a microphone stand" and pair it with the words I will never believe in anything again, but w.a.m.s. pulls "worry worry you put my head in such a flurry/ freckle freckle what makes you so special" from the heart of a poem about a band that is also a family and then IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD says I'm gonna leave you, I'm gonna teach you how we're all alone. everything about the spirit of to you unfinished is flipped on its head, recontextualized and handed back poisoned. Folie is almost a breakup album and What A Catch, Donnie sounds like a farewell going into a hiatus that no one knew if they'd come off of. the way to you unfinished fits in feels almost like the same sentiment behind I Don't Care, lyrics taken and twisted around and pointed back, extra sharp, extra venomous, without concern for the harm caused. Pete going down with the ship, maybe. my love and hate for you are infinite, etc etc etc. do you get what I'm saying here?? *shaking you* do you get it?!
#also ''what makes you so special'' compared with... everything about what a catch makes me INSANE#''i don't know much about classic cars but I've got a lot of friends stuck on classic coke'' 🤝 ''I've got a lot of friends who are stars#but some are just black holes''#ETC ETC ETC#there's SO much love and hate and lines blurring fr fr#and it's all framed around just like... terrible toxic relationships??? insane insane insane#sorry guys happy folie a deux Friday Saturday I'm going bonkers#she speaks!#fob#fall out boy#folie a deux#m
305 notes
·
View notes
Text
long hair >>> (even tho it's hiding under the stupid cap….. pls take it off tomorrow bb)
#like i love his short hair but seeing the thickness and length in the back 🥺🥺 very cute#i have so much to say about the pics from today but i will stop myself#too late for all that#love to see him always smiling tho 😚#will be answering asks tomorrow !! sorry ive been rlly busy !!!!!#cars on track tomorrow aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#goodnight#pepe marti
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
lesbian cars, good 4 them.. good 4 them..
i LOVE THEM so i drew them the way i see them ughhhhhh love hijab bibi sm i wish ppl drew her with hijabi more :[[[
#batwheels#batwheels fanart#fanart#jestah batwheels#bibi batwheels#lesbians cars your honor#i love THEM so much#pls watch batwheels#literally the only artist of this fandom#jestah x bibi so true lol#sorry for all the tags#BATWHEELS LETS GO#digital art#art
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy 35th anniversary mother 1!!!!!! love this game 2 death <3
#ive been working on this. for 5 hours.#i dont know how to draw things or scenes or anything ever ignore if its jank#scribbles#mother series#furry tag#mother 1#earthbound beginnings#earthbound zero#ninten mother 1#ana mother 1#lloyd mother 1#actually tagging things for once wow#im so exhausted i dont know how to formulate words#i feel like i shouldve made the canvas have slightly different dimensions but i cant tweak that now i made too many overlays#aaaaghhgghb#whatever#theyre supposed. to be on the train By The Way#again i dont know how to draw things i dont know if its clear <//3#i love this game so much though oh my god#ITS SO CUTE nd watching pikaspreys playthru is what got me into the series. cannot love it nearly enough on that alone#playing through it earlier this year was an absolute blast too i get the urge to replay it . constantly#ahhhh i feel like i should say more but idk!!!! again im so tired sorry if im not making sense or like this is all just stupid i donttt car#EDIT I JUST NOTICED A TYPO MONTHS LATWR. KILL ME
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys im not ready to let him go:(
#danny babe im sorry#they never treated you right#and i wish you didnt have to leave like this#still hoping that it’ll work put some how#ahem yk by dropping checo then moving danny to rb and liam to vcarb#bc lord knowd danny cudve done so much better in checos car this season than checo did#and it showed with todays lap#i missed seeing him be that ballsy#danny we love you#im never letting this man go#unfortunately hes my emotional support f1 boy#ugh my baby#if we lose him today i will sob#nothing against liam tho#liam deserves the world#but so does danny#red bull daniel#daniel ricciardo#dr3#danny ric#danny ricciardo#honey badger#the honey badger🫶#formula one racing#formula 1#formula one#formula racing#f1#nyx speaks<3#nyx<3 speaks
22 notes
·
View notes