#i love being a moron

[sillygoofyqueer]

Panyuan questions!!!!!!

How did they meet? I can't find if you spoke about it, was Shen Yuan just found one day and he got yoinked by Wei Qingwei??? Four I need answers‼️

I am far too invested in this au (fanfic eventually?? 👀）

-Z

Technically, I spoke about it in my Wei Qingwei oneshot, but I never specified on my Tumblr, so why not elaborate while I'm at it, eh? (This is also taken from my handwritten notes and I will be keeping it biblically accurate)

Panyuan as a baby little creature dropped off his mother's tail in pangolin form, and because baby pangolin demons are a little more resilient than normal baby pangolins, he drags himself along a little bit and relatches onto his mama's tail.

This is not his mama's tail, it is ore from the mines of Cang Qiong.

Disciples (probably An Ding and Wan Jian working together) mistake the little baby pangolin clinging onto the ore as a piece of it because Panyuan is relatively curled up, so just place him into the cart with his ore. He has his scales, reinforced by his demon blood and so luckily isn't just crushed between ores.

The cart is pulled up to Wan Jian and obviously Panyuan as just a little guy (who hasn't transmigrated methinks) has literally no clue what's going on, he's just hungry 😔

Meanwhile, Wei Qingwei makes a point of checking every piece of ore to find the best pieces for each different project that his disciples and he are working on. He's admiring this particularly hefty piece of ore like "this is nice!" when his hand touches scales and instead of dropping the ore like a normal person, our babygirl gets intrigued and takes a closer look.

Baby little pangolin is being all sleepy and blinking up at Wei Qingwei, actually making up half of the ore and dusty from the rocks which helps him blend in. Wei Qingwei pries Panyuan off the ore and Panyuan, who now feels warm and safe cradled in Wei Qingwei's grasp and equates that to being with his mama, is like "mama must be holding me."

He immediately shifts to his human baby form out of instinct and startles Wei Qingwei so much that he is immediately hit by parental instincts so strong that he blacks out and next thing he knows, he's got Panyuan wrapped in a blanket and is feeding him the xianxia equivalent of baby formula.

Mu Qingfang is sitting across from him with baby fever so bad, apparently explaining how raising a baby demon differs from raising a baby human. All Wei Qingwei remembers (and is mortified about) is that he glared at Yue Qingyuan when the man suggested that Panyuan could be raised on the beast peak.

Nobody questioned Wei Qingwei after that, and he gets to keep his baby :D

[mellosdrawings]

So, I'm not all that caught up with canon lore yet, but one thing that annoys me at times is when people blame Rook for his bad new style (it's not even bad. He looks cute, look at him smiling so much he's so baby). Rook has been shown several times to do things on his own volition without even warning Vil (like, you know, changing dorms?!) and you'd expect me to believe he's not the one to have chosen his new style ?

Anyway, leave my man and his bad haircut choices alone. What's the point of having hair that can grow back if you don't have some fun with them while you're still at school ?

[egophiliac]

Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)

oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.

(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)

[pseudophan]

do you think this might affect phandom conversations for a bit? like are we getting back to “we shouldn’t speculate” and people bringing up this screenshot to reinforce that?

some people are going full force with that already yes 👍 like what the fuck ever at this point, if you're stupid just say that. i'm so over it. it's like people have zero object permanence and only ever go by the latest thing they heard. dan and phil told a journalist to mind their business? that must mean they actively hate any and all mentions of their relationship even from their fans who they are currently performing a stage show more or less about their relationship for. like can we be so fucking serious. no a random ass reporter trying to get a quote for their front page is not the same as you making phan memes come ON. but again like, whatever, they can think what they want i guess. anyone who wants to have a boring ass time in this fandom because they can't utilise critical thinking to save their fucking life is free to do so lmao

[yashley]

imogen & fearne in c3e75

[meyerlansky]

#hboww2rewatch timestamp roulette: MASTERS OF THE AIR, PART THREE ↳ what the hell is a "reserve command pilot"?

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 142

Prince Geralt is the second of three sons born to King Vesemir. Court... Isn't his thing. Court isn't really any of the three boys' things. Eskel was certainly polite enough for it, but many thought him too intimidating looking to even approach. Geralt detested the finery and the clothing that made him look like a sad silk trader. Lambert nearly killed a woman with a heart attack the last time he was in court and opened his mouth to speak. Geralt doesn't like court, or meetings, or what-have-you. He much prefers riding his favorite mare, Roach, into the nearby woodland. Whether they'd just go for a trot, or hunt something, or swim in a creek was a choice he usually made up on the spot. One afternoon however, as he dismounts from his trusty steed, he hears a noise on the wind. A rather lovely one, at that. It's singing. Someone's singing, and they've the voice of an angel. Geralt freezes in place for multiple minutes, too engrossed in just listening. Geralt glances around, attempting to make sense of which direction it's coming from. He doesn't even tie up Roach before he sprints off in the direction of the singing. He doesn't know what he'll do. Applaud? Say 'thank you, that was great'? Faint? But he does want to get closer. Just the slightest bit, so he can hear the singing better. After a moment or two of trompsing through the underbrush, however, the singing stops. Geralt loses all traces of the voice, and is left to return to his horse, stood where he left her, in disappointment. He tells his brother of the encounter, tells them to try hearing the voice in the woods. Lambert warns him it might be a troll in disguise, and Eskel gets so caught up correcting Lambert's thoughts on trolls that Geralt can't even gush about the voice any more, and returns to his room, eager to set out to the forest as soon as he can.

It's been two weeks, and Geralt is saddened by the voice's disappearance. It was a once-in-a-lifetime blessing he'd just have to hold onto. Even as he hears the voice in his thoughts and dreams every night. It's not the same. Not the real thing. Geralt is being moody about all of this as he lays on his back, floating in a small pond. Roach is there, on the shore, occasionally bending her neck down and taking a sip. He tried to invite her in to swim with him, at least get her feet wet, but she'd harshly declined, giving him a little nip on his arm. And then, he hears it. The voice. The singing. Geralt is so shocked, he flails in the water, and inhales some. Geralt rushes to the shore, hacking like a cat about to present it's owner with a hairball, and rushing to put all his clothes back on. As soon as he's fully dressed, the voice has stopped. He hadn't even had the time to try and seek them out again! He kicks the dirt, and sits down to pout next to his horse. Despite the failure, he was overjoyed when he revealed the news to his brothers. "My siren is back!" He said with a grin. Eskel loved when Geralt grinned, he didn't do it nearly enough any more. Not since they were all children. "I was in the pond when-" "Can't be a siren if you were in the water and they weren't." Lambert points out, mouth full of food. "I know they're not really a siren, that's just what I call them!" "Why is that?" Eskel inquires, raising an eyebrow. "Every time they sing, I- I feel as if I'm bespelled." Geralt whispers with awe, his eyes sparkling. Lambert begins chortling as loud as possible. "Prettyboy is whipped over a VOICE!" "You would be too, if you could hear them!" Geralt argued, just before a servant came in to alert them all that it was getting rather late, and their father requested them all in bed.

Another few weeks go by without his siren, but Geralt knows they must still be out there. They're just biding their time before they enchant him again. Geralt is home after a long day of messing around in the woods hoping to hear them. He's stood on his balcony, looking out toward the forest, sighing. It's just as he's about to walk back inside when he hears it... Ever so quiet, ever so soft, in the distance, coming from the woods. His siren. He freezes, and listens for a moment, before shaking his head. He slams his door open and races down the hall, only to run straight into Eskel. "Geralt? What's wrong?" "My siren! They're singing! I have to go to the woods!" "Geralt, it's the middle of the night-" Eskel worries. "You haven't found them yet, but you think you can find them now?" Lambert pipes up from the room farther down the hall, rubbing his eyes, evidently annoyed he was awoken by his brother's urgency. "I have to try." is all Geralt tells them, as he pushes past Eskel and continues down the hall. After a few minutes, both Lambert and Eskel are out on their own balconies, hearing nothing but the ambient sounds of night. "He's gone fuckin' batty!" Lambert shouts over to Eskel's balcony. "SHUSH! You'll wake father!" Eskel hisses back. Geralt came back that next morning, disappointed, and no closer to finding the mysterious vocalist.

Two entire months pass, and Geralt is distraught. It's beginning to feel like his siren is really gone for good this time. "Smiiiile, it's a happy day for you." Eskel lovingly reminds Geralt. They're all sat on their thrones, awaiting nobility and gentry to pass by and give Geralt gifts, for it was his birthday. All Geralt wanted for his birthday was to hear from the siren again, but even if his siren came back, he wasn't in the woods to hear them anyhow. "The Pankratz family!" A servant loudly introduces, snapping Geralt out of his thoughts. They looked the same as every other noble family did, though there was an exception. A boy around Geralt's age was the first to give Geralt an actual, genuine smile. "We are delighted to present you with our gift, it's a-" "I have a gift for the prince, too!" The boy interrupts his father, taking a step closer. "Julian!" The mother hisses. "It's a song." "Julian, don't embarrass us like this." The father snarls. Geralt holds up a hand. "...I'd like to hear it." The boy, who was quite handsome in retrospect, races to their bags and finds a lute he smuggled along. He steps in front of his family, looks into Geralt's eyes, and begins to sing. Geralt freezes. Eskel glances between the viscount and his brother, who was seemingly in a trance. Eskel was at first worried about the way his mouth parted a bit in shock as he realized what was happening, but then he looked to see Lambert was gaping like he was physically incapable of shutting his mouth... Which... It being Lambert, was actually quite possible. When the boy finishes, everyone politely claps, except for Geralt, still staring in awe. The boy flushes and fidgets in place. "..I cannot accept this song as a gift." Geralt says. "We're so, so, so dreadfully sorry about Julian, your highness-" Geralt shuts the man up with a wave of his hand, still staring at the musician who captured his heart. "I would rather my gift from your family to be your son." The Pankratz all gasp and gawk, as Julian's eyes widen. King Vesemir leans over and whispers "What the hell are you doing, boy?" "I would like to give him the official position as court bard, and I'd like to hear him sing again. Every day, if I can." Geralt explains. "Your highness, we simply can't just give away our dearest son-" "I'll do it!" "Julian-!" "I'd love to be the court bard, Prince Geralt!" Julian crows, bouncing up and down in delight. "...Then it shall be." King Vesemir said, giving a confused glance to Eskel. Eskel and Lambert are alone that night. Geralt was busy being serenaded, they assumed. "So. Geralt found his siren." Eskel says softly. "I really thought he was just nuts." Lambert snorts. "Apparently not." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Wanna bet on how long it takes until they start fucking?" "You know it."

[alumirp]

luffy gets a girlfriend

He is blissfully unaware of this fact, however. He meets Torao at work, he's a firefighter and she's a doctor. She stitched up a cut on his arm and he gets hungry, spontaneously invites her to eat and she accepts, probably hungry too (or totally thinking that the cute guy with the stupid smile is asking her out).

They go out several times after that, usually with Luffy showing up at the hospital randomly, either injured or bringing in a patient, or simply to bother Torao because he was bored.

Luffy gets a new (girl) friend.

They're weird friends, though, because one day Torao just leaned in and kissed him. On the lips! And he liked it for some reason, so they kissed countless more times.

And sometimes things get too hot when they kiss and one thing leads to another and- well, they had sex. Several times. Which is weird, because Luffy definitely has no desire to kiss, much less have sex, with his other friends. But it works, so he just classifies them as weird friends.

He's pretty sure they're NOT lovers, because neither he nor Torao made fancy proposals, with roses, candles, fancy dinner and fancy rings, like Sanji and most TV shows tell, so, definitely weird friends.

And its okay, he likes being weird friends with Torao :D

(They're totally dating and no one believes Luffy when he says they're just friends. Because he shares his meat with Law, he actually, like, listens to her opinion instead of just doing what he wants, he takes her side in arguments no matter how obviously wrong she is, he fights with Ace, physically, when his brother says Law should get out of Luffy's life.They are totally dating, Luffy has a girlfriend, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know it.)

((law is just happy to be here, even if her boyfriend is a little slow))

[fanfictionroxs]

I. LOVE. THEM. SO. MUCH 😭😭🤣🤣🤣

[ofeliajuzniewroci]

A beautiful commission I got from @ampreh over 4 years ago that I still love deeply. My vintage-loving, gamer-girl fairy that cannot fly for the life of her

[teatitty]

Was showing some TW3 Lambert scenes to Rae tonight and it's soooo cute that he's such an emotional drunk. Depending on dialogue choices, you can have a scene play out where Geralt's like "you know you're like a little brother to me right?" And Lambert goes "[voice cracking] Why would you say that to me? I'm gonna cry. Come here" and as he moves in for a hug he knocks the empty wine bottle to the floor and just shatters it everywhere ruining the moment asfrtdfgt they're all such a fucking mess

[hallowclave]

What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently

Original photo

[atopvisenyashill]

any thoughts about how could it be the dynamic between viserys-naerys- daeron ii in fire & blood 2?

okay so straight up the dynamic i’m MOST interested in learning about in f&b2 is the viserys-naerys-daeron ii dynamic. first of all, those first two are just UNGODLY DISTURBINGLY YOUNG when they have children. viserys has naerys, his YOUNGEST child when he is sixteen. naerys has daeron when she is fifteen. viserys is a grandfather before he is 32 years old. it is truly babies raising babies out here!! i mean fuck, daeron has baelor under significantly less traumatic circumstances but he’s still only 17 by the time he starts having kids! that’s all just wildly interesting and disturbing to me. like, that alone, how close in age they all are because they all married & started having kids at crazy young ages, explains so much about why this period has always felt particularly deranged to me (“this period” being post dance where we get this incredible string of deranged freaks from aegon iii to aegon iv that ebbs into this vaguely “we’re having a targ renaissance yay” era that erupts into civil war anyways! i LOVE this conceptually i’m so ready to be annoyed when f&b2 comes out and i’ve hyped this all up for some more dumb sex stories from another court fool ajsjs).

but then secondly, okay, when you look at the timeline- daeron is born in 153 and the birth nearly kills naerys 15/16 year old naerys. aegon iii is still king for four more years. that last year, aegon iv spends his time (and the next two years after that) shacked up with megette. then aegon spends a few years shacked up/probably raping casella vaith the hostage, before running off to war. then he spends more time raping naerys, wherein she has a miscarriage, and aegon is sent away so he doesn’t rape her to death. daeron marries myriah, has a child with her. but before that child is two, in quick succession, his father comes back home & immediately starts raping his mother again, his mother nearly dies having twins & now he has a sister younger than his son, and daena unveils her new bastard who everyone thinks is aegon’s, and baelor is so distraught by all this he fasts himself to death. viserys is king, and likely dead before daeron’s second son is born and before daeron turns twenty. suddenly the person responsible for making sure aegon doesn’t rape naerys to death are daeron & aemon, who have NO authority over aegon. this man has the audacity to stay alive for twelve more years.

that shit is insane. daeron’s father is only around when he’s raping his mom. the closest things daeron has to a father figure are his uncle who wants to fuck his mom, his grandfather who is probably busy constantly (and also only in his thirties 😭), and his batshit insane cousin baelor. his childhood is marked by almost constant instability until it stabilizes for the worse when his cousins all get locked in the maidenvault, then gets thrown into upheaval once again as baelor & viserys die and now his dad who is only around when he’s raping his mom is suddenly back in town and has total control.

and naerys. she’s like if aemma lived long enough to parent her kids, but worse bc you could argue there was fondness of a sort between aemma & viserys. aegon and naerys hate each other. she is constantly pregnant and on death’s door from the age of fifteen (three years older than her father!) until the day she dies, in her early 40s. it sounds like worse than hell to me. it is a lifetime where the only source of comfort you have is the son you birthed at fifteen, because maybe your life is a nightmare but if you raise him to be marginally less evil, he won’t destroy the innocent little girl you know is going to be sent to court to be his wife. everyone else is actively holding you hostage and applauding you for taking the abuse so well. your whole life is screaming for help and all you get is tears telling you you’re so dutiful and brave.

and viserys just. watches it all happen. of course he does! his kids are simply ungrateful! he had to get married at twelve and his wife wasn’t born in westeros so they had nothing in common and at least they have a living father, they have no idea how lucky they are. why should daeron and naerys blame him when he gave them everything because he had nothing? it’s a shame it wasn’t naerys that offed this man. i do think she was his favorite kid tho and i bet he’s not subtle about it at all.

[hanakihan]

what if apothecary diaries au but it’s a fake really badly made volume cover lmao—

[twobellsilence]

Watched Emilia Pérez to see what all the fuss was about. I might drop an essay at some point, or maybe I will write it before angrily deleting it and trying not to think about this crap ever again, but just know that I am absolutely LIVID.

The people praising this are so hypocritical I hope that when this pompous piece of SHIT of a director decides to make a film "exploring usamerican society" where a school shooter transitions and becomes an anti-school-shooting advocate that helps locate the bodies of missing school shooting victims with the help of other school shooters and they die and become a national hero, and also all the actors are like Russian or some shit and don't even know how to speak English for more than two sentences and also the director refuses to record in the US because "it didn't fit his image of the country" despite it literally being the same fucking country he's "inspired" by, y'all praise him once again for his bold narrative and unashamedly "real" representation. Fuck you

[creativesplat]

Have a Dimitri because juggling hyper fixations is almost all I do now.