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sovenusian · 6 months

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Matured Energy of Each Sun Sign

(does not to relate to what age you are.)

A matured Aries is a master communicator and story teller, they can easily pull and hold the attention of the crowd on them, only this time it is to shine light on something beyond them, and it's usually the wisdom they have gathered on their spiritual journey of having the self as the center of their wants and needs.

A matured Taurus is the tamed bull. They become much more calm and understanding of ways of life and mindsets differing from their own, and don't feel the need to make known, how thorough their stances on their beliefs are. They loosen up a bit, like a Cane Corso allowing a rambunctious chihuahua to feign dominance.

A matured Gemini uses the seemingly fractured personality to create genius works and can masterfully connect with any age group or walk of life. They respect they are the embodiment of "I have an idea" but on drugs (lol) and live in that truth. They don't provide tolerance for what they do not like around them.

A matured Cancer stopped being petty and stops wading in the murky waters of emotional manipulation, and starts wielding these energies as gift, for others. You may not find a more generous, selfless, nurturing being. They have the strength to grow other people and bring what's dead back to life.

A matured Leo finally takes more pride in the impact of it's works, more than the ability to do them or be recognized for being the one to do them. They enjoy showing the character traits that truly make them beautiful. The humility they acquire despite having achieved a great deal of refinement, is what becomes what makes them shine at their brightest.

A matured Virgo learned to put themselves, their hearts truly first. Their dutiful and ambitious drives have taught them their accompanying lessons, which are to allow yourself to relax, you are enough, you really are so damn dope, and comparing your output to the logistics was a stressful way to live and that is, the past. It's a death to criticism and a birth to healthy analyzation.

A matured Libra has learned how to be in love with love, in a healthy way. In love with Real Love; with the raw energy and authenticity of it's energy, that way when humans and opportunities come around that claim to be Love, they can be distinguishing and keep their own heart set on what they have learned to be it's truth. They have mastered detachment.

A matured Scorpio has adjusted their perspective, placing the abilities of being extremely passionate and emotionally intense, only in situations that don't create more chaos. Their lifelong journey for true power has moved them into a space where they are more settled and accomplished. They learn the rhythm of life and can finally become selfless, and this is where their energy is truly it's most powerful.

A matured Sagittarius is the ember stage of fire; warm, spreading and long lasting. The knowledge and philosophies acquired over the years are now steeped, grounded in substance and embedded in a person that can finally sit down long enough, and have the patience, to share it's inspirations. Their habit to be generous and spreading have switched out it's impulsive nature for selectivity and self- preservation.

A matured Capricorn drops the shrewdness, and can be an exemplified patriot of what they stood for when they initially started their ambitious climb of hard earned success. They realize just because they are the goats, does not mean anybody and everything are the rocks and steps to ascend upon, and they warm their heart up enough to trust others with their vulnerabilities. They retire their need to be serious for the upholding of the many responsibilities all Capricorns are dealt, and they let that beautiful ability to entertain and bring joy be what they now lead and corale others with.

A matured Aquarius honors the unbeaten path they chose and created by tooth and nail, by sharing with others the lessons learned from it. Their ability to be friendly and connect with anyone, becomes more filled out, & it becomes harder for them to be perceived as disingenuous, because they can now choose the role they'll play in the life of every individual they meet, and share the gems needed like the sages they were born to be. They feel the freedom to become even more obscure.

A matured Pisces is a vessel of universal love. They spend their lives being a collage of all the human personality could offer, from kind to cruel, yielding to stubborn, and they take each lesson from their colorful experiences, and only extract the most optimistic, high frequency wisdom from them. They keep their mystery while their ability to impart love to others unfolds endlessly.

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gourmetofglut · 7 months

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The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!

#re zero kara hajimeru isekai seikatsu #re zero #arc 8 spoilers #ferris #re:zero #rezero

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twin-scars · 2 years

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-Edit updated to add songs I missed throughout the seasons.

Sleepless nights make me over-analyze. I've been going through the music in some of my favorite scenes (mostly those that pertain to Jonathan and Nancy, whether collectively or individually, with a bit of Stancy thrown in because, well, why not).

I started in Season One. (All the themes themselves are pretty self-explanatory and don’t need interpretation, but I’ll mention them anyway. Plus it gives you an idea how much better seasons one and two are in comparison to three and four.)

Nancy is studying in her room. This is right after she fights with Karen about not being able to 'study at Barb's'. Every Little Bit (Jackie James & Ian Curnow) I believe the time is right / Have to tell ya I'm hear over heels in love / Too afraid to let you in Pushed you away, now it's gone far enough / I never felt this way before / Don't wanna wait one second more 'Cause every little bit of my heart is true / This is where I belong

Very much a song appropriate for Nancy crushing over Steve. A lot of the music in season one gives depth to the characters and relationships. I think that gets kind of lost in later seasons...But anyway, Nancy is developing a lot of feelings for Steve. True, she's changing herself to fit in with him and his friends, but she genuinely likes him and wants his approval.

When Steve is helping Nancy study Africa (Toto) It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you / There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa / Gonna take some time to do the things we never had / Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

The song is literally about a guy talking about how much he loves Africa, but the lyrics are romantic, and it fits how Steve and Nancy feel about each other.

In episode two, Jonathan is driving to see Lonnie. This is the song right before Should I Stay Or Should I Go comes on, and it's such a Jonathan song. Go Nowhere (Raegan Youth) You're a gonowhere! / And you don't care! / You're a gonowhere! You're not even there! Living your life on the conveyor belt / No time to think so your brain just melts No destination you're lost inside

Like...good grief, he really thinks he's stuck in life. It's so depressing.

And while Jonathan is parking to see Lonnie Dark Stars (Mark Glass) I can't understand the lyrics for the life of me, but it's heavy with the synths and edgy, which seems right for Jonathan's confrontation with Lonnie. I'm Taking Off (Shield Your Eyes) -- (Space Knife) Drifting through space / all I feel is cold / all I want is the power of the night / and you to hold / and I was wrong to let you go / and now we'll never know Jonathan is confronting Lonnie about Will. Jonathan no doubt blames himself for Will's disappearance (hence the 'I was wrong to let you go') (Fun fact: this band isn’t from the 80s, the song came out in 2013, and the band is based in Atlanta.)

Later on at Steve's party while they're all throwing themselves in the pool (except for Barb) I Melt With You (Modern English) Moving forwards, using all my breath / Making love to you was never second best / I saw the world thrashing all around your face / Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace / I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time / There's nothing you and I won't do / I'll stop the world and melt with you

Fun and flirty, kind of romantic, but not too heavy. Just another fun song that fits Steve and Nancy. Their feelings for each other are still new-ish and the attraction is high. It's cute and light.

This Isn't You (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is played multiple times throughout the series. I think in season one I heard it while Nancy and Jonathan were at the police station. But it seems to be Steve and Nancy's theme, because most of their scenes have this song or some variation of it. It's sad, because Nancy (in the beginning) changed for Steve. So much so Barb said it to her several times, afraid that Nancy would leave their friendship. But even when Nancy and Steve start embracing who they are, they're just not compatible. Nancy is always holding back from Steve.

She probably loved him at one point, but since losing Barb her focus in life changes, as do her feelings.

Waiting for a Girl Like You (Foreigner) I've been waiting for a girl like you / To come into my life / I've been waiting for a girl like you (waiting for a girl) / A love that will survive / I've been waiting for someone new (I've been waiting) / To make me feel alive / Yeah, waiting for a girl like you (waiting for a girl) / To come into my life Nancy is sleeping with Steve for the first time. Even this early on we can tell that Steve adores Nancy and knows she's different from any other girl he's dated. Carol and Tommy even make fun of him and say he's in love with her. But it's sad, though, because Nancy is changing who she is in order to fit in with Steve and his friends. Steve knows that's she still different though--her speaking to Jonathan in the hallway is testament to that. Photos in the Woods (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Jonathan’s theme. He’s (obviously) taking photos in the woods. It’s heard in a later episode when Jonathan and Nancy are in the dark room trying to figure out what the demogorgon is, and Jonathan gives Nancy an apology. Later on it’s followed by Something in the House (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which is while Nancy and Jonathan are in the woods, and then it’s Tendril (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) when Nancy gets stuck in the Upside Down. The track is literally twenty-six seconds lol. When Jonathan rescues Nancy, it’s No Weapons (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) because, obviously, Nancy was defenseless in the Upside Down. Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart) While, she's deceiving me / It cuts my security / Has she got control of me? / I turn to her and say / don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no / don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no / I can't believe it / 'Cause you've got it made with the guy in shades, oh no

It fits Steve’s mood when he’s driving to Nancy’s house to check on her: Also foreshadowing a bit, as Nancy masquerades how she really feels after they get back together at the end of the season. Hmmmm. Tribulations (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is beautiful. It’s melancholy, lowkey anxious, but also really sweet, which is the mood between Jonathan and Nancy when they’re in bed together. When they wake up, The Upside Down (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is during their discussion on how to help Barb and Will. When they escape out Nancy’s window, I See The Future (Andrew Pinching) is blasting on her stereo. The beat is really good and I wish they played more of it as we see Nancy and Jonathan shopping for bear traps but instead we have The Bargain Store (Dolly Parton) Why you take for instance this old broken heart / If you will just replace the missing part / You would be surprised to find how good it really is / Take it and you never will be sorry that you did / The bargain store is open, come inside You can easily afford the price / Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise / And I can guarantee you'll be completely satisfied WOW. Jancy song, especially on Jonathan’s end. But of course it all comes crashing down with

Speak of the Devil (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) because Nancy is being slut shamed and Jonathan is being harassed which leads to them fighting and starts Exit (Tangerine Dream) which is so emotionally packed I think of Jonathan fighting every time.

At the police station This Isn’t You is there, again. I guess because this is Steve and Nancy’s theme is why it’s played? I don’t know.

And just like Exit (Tangerine Dream), Run Away (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) has the same emotionally charged vibe. Steve is choosing Nancy over his friends.

They Found Us and Spiked Bat (both by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is while Jonathan and Nancy are preparing to fight the demogorgon. Jonathan and Nancy have quite a lot of little themes in this season. Something in the House is played again when our monster hunting trio are trying to slay.

At the end of the season, we hear This Isn’t You again while Nancy is giving Jonathan his present. Once more it’s subtlety reminding us that being with Steve isn’t who she needs to be with. Season Two:

Which we get more of a feeling for when Steve and Nancy are talking in his car. Talking in Your Sleep (The Romantics) plays in the background: You tell me that you want me / You tell me that you need me / You tell me that you love me / And I know that I'm right / 'Cause I hear it in the night

Perhaps Nancy started talking in her sleep. Besides nightmares about Barb and the Upside Down, it's possible she dreams about Jonathan. But I think it's more like how Steve feels about Nancy. She's the love of his life and she does tell him she loves him when he says it.

The music that's associated with Steve and Nancy are romantic, but feel so fairy-tale like. The sentiments are sweet, but there's not much substance to them. They're cliches and that's what Nancy has called Steve.

In the hallway when Nancy is walking to her locker, First Kiss (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is heard, and that's Mike and Eleven's theme. Why play First Kiss for Steve and Nancy? Nancy is looking at Jonathan walking away, so perhaps it's in reference to Jonathan, who is the one she really wants to kiss. This is not to be confused with A Kiss, which is Steve and Nancy in season one.

Nancy and Steve, and Nancy herself, seem to have sad songs attached to them. When Nancy visits Barb’s parents for dinner, Eulogy (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is such heartbreaking song. Nancy misses Barb terribly, which is why later on in the library A Familiar Face (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is heard. but when she runs to Steve for comfort... This Isn’t You is repeated yet again when Steve says they should just act like stupid teenagers. I get the feeling that Steve and Nancy aren’t supposed to be together. How many times is this theme played? As Jonathan drives Will to the Wheelers, it’s Blackout (Swing Set) Blackout, blackout - blackout tonight / Oh, oh - and the city hides Watch out, watch out - watch out tonight / Oh, oh - lock your heart inside / And you're lonely tonight / and you need someone - someone to hold on Foreshadowing that Nancy is going to get black out drunk and she’ll need Jonathan to hold onto, because we know Steve is going to ditch her. Although I hate that Girls On Film by Duran Duran plays when Jonathan shows up to the Halloween party. We don't need a reminder of Jonathan taking an inappropriate photo of Nancy (which he did apologize for, by the way, and never does it again). When Jonathan takes her home it’s the beautiful, gorgeous theme Outside The Realm (Big Giant Circles). It fits so much within this scene--Nancy’s need for Jonathan’s support, her grief and depression about Barb swallowing her whole. It’s sad all the way around. The Ghost In You (The Psychedelic Furs) A race is on I'm on your side / And hearing you my engines die / I'm in a mood for you / For running away / Stars come down in you / And love, you can't give it away / Inside you the time moves Nancy and Jonathan are talking about her relationship with Steve and Jonathan confirms he is the one that took her home. The conversation expands and they discuss how nothing in their world will ever be the same. Nancy gets the genius idea to take out the government. The whole song is very much Jancy and how Jonathan is ride or die for Nancy. How I Feel About You - Jumpstreet No lyrics for this, but one listen will definitely will have you thinking Jancy. This is the scene where Mrs. Wheeler stops Jancy to say hello to Jonathan. When Nancy calls Barb’s mother, Spiked Bat is present.

Fresh Blood (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is when Nancy and Jonathan are driving away from the lab to get to Murray’s.

When Jancy is together, the pattern of the songs are more deeply romantic, focusing more on love than cliché promises. At the motel, trying to rent a room, Try My Love (Carroll Lloyd) plays: After everyone get you down / I know I must be a fool/But here I am standing around Begging you to try my love / Try my love / And I know we can make it, yeah You may think what I'm saying isn't true / If you believe in me, you can bet your life / I believe in you Oh like I need you / Oh I want you

The attraction between them is pretty undeniable. Just like Steve and Nancy's theme is This Isn't You, Jonathan and Nancy's is Scars (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). (And later on, The First Lie). It doesn't have quite as much of a sad undertone like This Isn't You, but both are heavy with emotion.

On the way to Murray's, Jonathan plays Can I Do What I Want (Shock Therapy): My hands do the work they know so well / My mind hides the feelings deep inside / A feeling that there is another way / Thinking maybe there is something I can't hide / Doing what I can, can I do what I want, what I want?

A good song for taking down the man, but it also kind of hints at Jonathan and Nancy burying their feelings yet again. Of course Murray offers his advice: There Is Frost On The Moon (Artie Shaw and His Orchestra & Helen Forest) There's frost on the moon and snow on the ground / But with you around / There's Spring in my heart. / Don't need my racoon / 'Cause everything's fine, As long as you're mine / There's Spring in my heart.

Awwwwww, these two so belong together.

The night they spent together at the motel sucked since Nancy was mad at him. At least at this point, though, they both know their attraction was mutual. They spend time with Murray making sure the lab burns to the ground and he pushes them together, and when it's time to sleep, the tension ramps up.

You Better Go Now (Billie Holiday) You'd better go now / Because I like you much, too much / You have a way with you / You'd better go now Because I like you very much

Leads into...

The First Lie (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which is Jancy's main theme. It's the music that plays when they kiss for the first time. It's more hopeful and upbeat. Scars in comparison is much more dark and emotional, but it’s played more often.

Next morning is breakfast at Murray's Blue Bayou (Roy Orbison) Oh that boy of mine / By my side / The silver moon / And the evening tide / Oh some sweet day / Gonna take away This hurting inside / Well I'll never be blue / My dreams come true / On Blue Bayou

This is such a Jancy song. Oribson said himself it's about 'loneliness that precedes happiness' and that fits Jancy perfectly.

And at the end of the season we have the Snow Ball.

Twist of Fate (Olivia Newton-John) A higher voice has called the tune / Two hearts that lost the beat will now resume / The gift of life extension by divine intervention / It's gotta be a strange twist of fate / Telling me that heaven can wait / Telling me to get it right this time / Life doesn't mean a thing without the love you bring / Love is what we've found the second time around / Don't understand what's going on / Woke up this morning, all the hurt was gone / This is a new beginning / I'm back in the land of the living

I think it's kind of referencing all the couples, but it fits Jancy the best. Both Nancy and Jonathan have been depressed and grieving. Jonathan's way of life will never be the same, because Will's isn't the same. Nancy lost Barb. And during the year they were apart, they had feelings for each other but kept them buried. Season Three

Jancy's theme changes to We Don't Understand Each Other (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). We all know about Jancy's fight. Interestingly enough, this song doesn't get played again, as far as I know.

Later, when Jonathan is developing photos for Nancy at the Hawkins Post dark room,

All Your Reasons Why (Smart Remark) These times and words are wearing thin / To stop and think of how you've been in life / To draw up one conclusion in your mind / And make it right, for all your reasons why / And you hurt me when you cry

Pretty appropriate for the scene afterwards. We know Jonathan hates seeing Nancy upset, and knows she wants to be right more than anything.

Six Facts (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Jonathan and Nancy are getting yelled at by Tom. Pretty easy to see what this song means. Poor Jancy. And later on when Jancy is investigating Tom's house there's Heather's (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). This one is self-explanatory too.

In Our Hideaway (Valentino) Elevator music, literally. Jancy make up. But why pick such a specific song titled 'In Our Hideaway'?

You're A Fighter (Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein) is when Jancy is saying good-bye. It's safe to say that both of them are fighters--not just of monsters, but of their relationship. They don't break up, choosing to go the 'traumatic' route and stay together.

Season Four (there’s not much here at all)

Journalistic Instinct (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) I don't know if this is another Jancy theme or a Nancy one. Maybe it's a bit of both. Jancy are great detectives.

Palm Tree Delight (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Clearly Argyle & Jonathan's theme

Scars (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) plays while Jonathan is staring at the picture of him and Nancy on the fridge.

This Isn't You (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) in a later episode, maybe in the one after (?), where Nancy is pulling spiders out of Steve's hair. If this couple is endgame, or has even a possibility of a future together, why not create a different theme? Instead we have the depressing This Isn't You again, which reminds us that Steve and Nancy aren't compatible. Yet...

Does That Make Us Friends? (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) I assume is Nancy and Robin's theme. Nancy is explaining what her relationship with Jonathan is really like. She's venting her frustrations to Robin. For a theme, this song sounds so bizarre. I don't know, it just sounds off to me? Maybe not off, but it's like a mixture of sounds that shouldn't go together but they do. And it's dark and emotional.

Later on, Scars plays again right before Steve jumps into the lake to find watergate. I imagine Nancy is thinking of Jonathan, wishing he were there with her and Steve. You can't blame her--they all kicked ass in season one against the demogorgon. But it confuses me because...

She Wants Me To Find Her (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stine) is during the scene where Eddie is telling Steve to pursue Nancy. This song was way back in season two, with Eleven pursuing Kali in episode 7 ('The Lost Sister') We know El finds Kali, but ultimately leaves her. Interesting choice, unless they're trying to subtlety show that Steve and Nancy will eventually have a doomed relationship (because El left Kali, which leads me to think Nancy would leave Steve again if they were to get back together).

What I love in season four, is when Nancy is being tormented by Vecna, the theme is called Soteria (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). Soteria is a greek goddess that ensures safety and gets people out of harm's way. Basically salvation and protection from harm is her thing. BUT BUT BUT it's also the name of the device in Henry/01's neck. Useful for nullifying his abilities. Essentially, Brenner named the device after the greek goddess of salvation and deliverance. Clever! The song works for Vecna and Nancy--Nancy because Vecna releases her, and we learn about Vecna's past.

We know that after this, Nancy is determined more than ever to destroy Henry/Vecna/One, but Steve is thinking of something else.

Fire and Rain (James Taylor) Been walking my mind to an easy time / My back turned towards the sun / Lord knows, when the cold wind blows It'll turn your head around / Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line / To talk about things to come Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground / Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain / I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end / I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you, baby / One more time again, now

It's on the radio as Steve is making his famous speech. The song itself is depressing, as James Taylor explained it discussed s*icde, drug addiction, and staying in a mental hospital. Not exactly an uplifting song. But it seems to imply Steve wants one last chance with Nancy. She doesn't look thrilled, which leads to the theme

A Proper Thump (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). Steve credits Nancy for helping him change, but in reality, I think it was more Jonathan's punches that got through.

When the Cali Crew return to Hawkins there's the return of Eight Fifteen (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which gives off a happy miraculous vibe. We heard it back in season two when El returns from staying with Kali.

The last interaction between Jonathan and Nancy is them repairing Hopper's cabin. Tammy (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) goes well here. It was back in season three when Robin was confessing to Steve she really liked Tammy, and revealing to him she's gay. It's a heavy conversation with a confession, the kind of conversation Jonathan and Nancy (mainly Jonathan) is trying to avoid.

Okay I'm done now lol

#jancy #i'm just rambling

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tandonshows · 2 years

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Why death is necessary to survival in Stranger Things

This week, Ester Ellis joined me on You Are What You Love to talk about how Stranger Things has impacted her in the last few years, both as her first introduction to fandom, and what she aspires to create herself. And it got me thinking about the difference between Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson.

For survival to mean something, everyone can't survive.

When I got on a Zoom call to chat with Ester about Stranger Things a few weeks ago, I knew I liked the show well enough. I’d watched every season (including the multi-feature length fourth season) and had feelings, as everyone on the internet does, for one Steve Harrington. But, I will be honest – I didn’t think, this is the greatest show ever. I didn’t dive deep into the fandom or the conversations about the show. I watched each season when it came out, talked about it with friends for a bit, and moved on until the next season dropped.

Talking with Ester, I realized that I hadn’t fully grasped the language of the show itself. Ester talks a lot about these small signals the show leaves throughout the series. Repeated music cues, images, mirrored storylines, and so on. I loved listening to the depth with which she watches Stranger Things, and how much she has analyzed the show to understand what it’s trying to say, and how planned out it is. But one thing that really stuck out was the idea of telegraphing death throughout each season.

Ester talked about the fact that, in Stranger Things, deaths aren’t necessary. They aren’t heroic. They happen. They could probably have been avoided, and they have a profound impact on the people left behind. But, even taking into account Eleven’s powers, this isn’t a show about larger than life characters that make it through impossible situations. It’s a show about flawed people, who don’t necessarily believe the best about themselves, taking on something far bigger than them. And, for survival to really mean something, the reality of death has to exist in the show. We have to know that these characters aren’t safe.

If you haven’t watched Season 4 or used the internet in the past year, this is your spoiler alert: beneath this photo of two boys I care too much about, you will find out about deaths in Season 4 of Stranger things. I warned you. The boys warned you. Proceed at your own risk.

When I watched it the first time, Eddie Munson’s death felt both unfair and unnecessary. It felt like, okay, we got this great character, this wonderful actor, and we watched him grow as he was brought into the group in a way that felt like a puzzle piece slotting into place. But Ester pointed something else out: he’s mean, he rejects people in the same way he feels they reject him, and it takes something massive (being accused of, you know, a very gruesome murder) to make him change. And it made me wonder if we should have known, from the very first moment, that Eddie was going to die by the end of it.

Ester points out that, at the top of the season, the show telegraphs that the new high schoolers probably won’t make it out of the show alive. But she also pointed out that, the deaths in the previous seasons come from a level of self hatred, or belief that the character themselves holds: they are, in some way, deficient. In season 1, Bob doesn’t think he’s good enough to be a hero, and dies trying to be a protector. Season 4, Chrissy holds on to the belief that she isn’t good enough, brought on by her mother’s berating of her weight. And Eddie believes that he’s a freak who runs away.

Watching him run head first into a situation that, in all honesty, felt like it could have been solved in a different way, was Eddie’s way of dealing with what he thought of himself. I didn’t run away this time.

While his death felt unfair on first watch, talking with Ester, I wondered if it actually gives weight to the characters that survive, and why. The kids have made it through four seasons of literal hell. Steve, who was meant to die in the first season, recognized what he was doing wrong and found a way to change. Nancy cut what wasn’t good for her (which, at the time was, ironically, Steve), and became a leader in her own life instead of a follower.

But Eddie doesn’t. Eddie can’t look at all of the things he’s done right over the course of the season, and the way he fits into a team. He thinks he has to make a final stand. He thinks he has to solve what’s wrong with him in one grand gesture that he knows he won’t make it out of. He doesn’t stop to listen to Dustin, someone who sees the good in Eddie, and think is there another option?

Unlike the characters that survive, Eddie can’t see how far he’s come. He still feels like he owes the world something for the time he has existed in it.

And I wonder if, in the home stretch, the characters that make it through are going to be the ones that are willing to hear that they’re worth the space they take up. Stranger Things isn’t trying to make these kids out to be heroes. But they are, in some ways, saying that the only way to survive is to stop believing the worst about yourself, to lean on the people around you, and to carve out your place in the world.

You can listen to Ester’s very thoughtful approach to Stranger Things, as well as her experience with fandom for the first time, and her approach to creativity in today’s episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or any podcast app of your choice.

If you want to let me know what you thought about the episode, or simply talk about Steve Harrington’s hair, you can subscribe to my newsletter, drop me a reblog/comment or leave me an ask, or find me on Twitter.

See ya next Wednesday,

Marissa

#stranger things #you are what you love #steve harrington #eddie munson #billy hargrove #podcast #tv podcast #stranger things season 4 #the duffer brothers #vecna #eleven #podcast recommendation #tandon productions #stranger things meta

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candied-cae · 2 years

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I've Rambled About Our Flag Means Death Once or Twice

This is going to be an ongoing masterlist for all the OFMD stuff my brain does - it's somewhat organized by its subject/style with little descriptions! But if you wanna check out my fics or drabbles... Click Here!

Art: Ed has a big Kraken Tattoo on his back Fanart + Mitski's A Burning Hill

Stede diving into dangerous waters to save Ed from the Kraken Fanart + Mitski's Pearl Diver

Edits: Lovers? Partners in Crime? - a BlackBonnet edit of scenes from Eps. 8 & 9 to FINNEAS’ Partners in Crime

Clips: Look at Roach being the cutest crewmate ever, please

Wee John Playing the Piano - god I love him so fucking much

Proper Thoughts:

Their Flag Means Death, Because They May Begin Again - a short comparison between the title of the show and Lucius's line in ep 10 and what they mean thematically for The Revenge operating as a safe haven

Ed and Stede didn't believe they were really allowed to love until it happened

How Ed and Stede learned about Love - long post analyzing how Ed/Stede's lives affected their perceptions of love and how they realized they loved each other

How Ed and Stede Mask themselves - long post analyzing how Ed/Stede's lives have shaped how they walk through the world. Ed learned to mask through his personality to survive while Stede learned to mask through his actions to survive.

Stede was so Traumatized, can we not bully him please? - I know Stede leaving Ed hurt, and I hope we're all just being silly, but bestie went through a lot over the course of the show.

Why Stede believes he breaks beautiful things - short summary of all the bad things Stede blames himself for in Ed's life, aka why Chancey was so easily able to convince him to stay away even after he died

What if Stede told his crew he was worried he was cursed in S2? - Frenchie and Buttons are going to assure him it's not as silly as it seems. It's very serious.

Mary's Painting and Stede's Model Ship - a comparison on the gifts they gave each other on their anniversary and what they meant

I think Stede got dressed to leave a long time before he left - a smaller analysis on all the building stresses in Stede's life that led him to wear his day clothes under his pajamas (which I believe he did for many nights before) the night he left.

Who is Stede as a Father? - an analysis on how Stede behaves with his bio children in contrast to his crew children

Stede Bonnet is Bound by Duty - analysis + headcanons of Stede's relationship with responsibility and how it lead to him and Mary having Alma and Louis despite their lack of affection

What would happen if Ed tried to call Stede his "baby"?

Ed mentioned dying to a jungle cat, and maybe he'll hear about Stede and worry it was his fault he died like that

Let's not compare Ed to an Abusive Ex, thanks - a response to someone saying Ed becoming Blackbeard post-Stede/Izzy was like an Abusive Ex, they also compared OFMD to GO which- no

If only Ed had asked Buttons for Advice before Izzy broke him

Why Ed thought he had to kill Lucius

Izzy Hands was what really broke Ed - Stede leaving Ed really hurt him, but among his crew he was actually healing, until Izzy threatened him. That's when he spiraled.

Izzy Hands and why he's willing to break Edward to secure his hold on Power - a long analysis specifically comparing the interactions Izzy has with Ed in Episode 4 vs. 10 and why he does the most detestable things in the finale

Ed x Mitski's Francis Forever and Remember My Name - a messy analysis of Ed's character rollercoaster compared to two beautiful Mitski songs

I want Ed to have a "You're a Bad Friend" Moment with Izzy

Izzy called him "Ed" as a power move, Stede calls him "Ed" because he loves him

Izzy doesn't love Blackbeard, he loves controlling him - long analysis about how I see all the different scenes between Ed and Izzy, and it looks more and more like Izzy barely even cares about him and is just trying to gather as much control as possible.

Anyone else notice Izzy being racist in Ep 9?

Silly Stuff: Voltron Rhys Darby is why I started OFMD

What are Ed's Tattoos?! I NEED TO KNOW!

I thought Ed was gonna fuck Lucius in that one scene tbh

Black Pete's going to go from Blackbeard #1 fan to his biggest hater when S2 drops and I'm so excited

The Crew of The Revenge has called Stede "Mom", you can't convince me otherwise

Rhys and Method acting for Stede Bonnet? Fucking Never.

I love Stede making sure Bridgetown leaves Ned alone after his fuckery

#Latest-Obsession #My Writings #Casey's OFMD Stuff #Latest-Obsession Masterlist

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inhonoredglory · 3 years

Note

another character based question - how do you feel about mikasa? a lot of fans dont like her, im curious about how you feel! - armin anon

Hellooooo Armin Anon. OMG it’s been forever since I had the time to sit down and do a proper meta, and I apologize.

First off, I finished the manga!!! (So, spoilers ahead for anyone else reading this.) I had to lie down after reading 139. It’s a tremendous story and I’m still taking it all in. The set pieces and personal/emotional stakes of everything that happens is just astounding. If it’s one thing Isayama does good, it’s the gut-wrenching personal anguish that underlies the action. I’m absolutely floored. My favorite bit was probably the timey-wimey stuff in Paths and Eren. That blew my freaking mind. But onto Mikasa!!

A Cruel Yet Beautiful World

I remember way back when I started the anime that I started liking Mikasa first out of the group. I liked how sullenly silent and no-nonsense she was, and I liked her loyalty to Eren. Her emotion, especially when Eren died in Trost, was palpable and terrifyingly beautiful. Her grief was incredibly realistic––rushing off with a death wish that even she couldn’t succumb to in the end, because of the drive to fight that she got from Eren. In a world like SNK, her relentlessness breaking through her grief was incredibly moving. And her philosophy is basically the driving theme of SNK: “This is a cruel world, and yet so beautiful.”

This is the same moral message she gives Eren when he can’t find the strength in him to fight Annie––and gives him that warm, understanding, inscrutable smile that allows him to finally accept his own monsters, fight Annie, and save her and Armin. (One of my favorite panels of her from the manga, actually.) Mikasa is basically the first character we meet who embodies this contradictory morality, which grows to engulf SNK and other characters as well (Levi, Reiner, and Armin especially come to mind). Which could be why I was drawn to her at the start, since the complex moral outlook of SNK was the primary reason I fell hard for this story.

(And gosh, it’s tragic to realize that it’s teaching moments like the scene above that made Eren into the person who could influence his own child self to murder, the person who could wipe out so much of humanity, the person who could take Ymir’s challenge to free her by destroying the love of the person who cared the most about him. I’m still processing yo.)

Acker-parallels

I started really analyzing Mikasa when I had to defend her from a friend of mine who accused her of resenting Levi (for beating up Eren) and that’s why she attacked him so violently in the RTS serumbowl. Because of my research into rebutting that, a lot of my affection for Mikasa now comes in seeing the little ways in which she cares and trusts other people, including Armin, Levi, Gabi, and Jean. And her quiet sensibility that goes beyond her love and protectiveness of Eren.

With Levi in particular, I find a lot I like about her. Because you can definitely see her annoyance at him, but she also trusts him more than anyone else in the Corps outside of Armin. After Levi’s violent encounter with Historia, she was the only one who implicitly trusted Levi’s judgement, backing up Armin’s more reasoned logic. She sees beyond her own emotions and even moral feelings and realizes the world is cruel enough that sometimes people have to do dark things to help others and survive.

This is very much the same statement Levi made to the 104th when he had asked them to follow Erwin’s orders when the commander’s plans were questionable on the surface: “Do you trust him? Those dumb enough to say yes… come with me.” These two understand each other on a moral level, and they ask for their comrades’ loyalty without demanding it, because they each know that everyone’s conscience is their own.

There’s a clear parallel between Mikasa and Levi, not only because of their Ackerman heritage and sensibilities (loyal to a fault to their chosen person, impossibly strong, quiet and grim), but their frustration when they cannot protect the people they are responsible for. They both know they are the strongest around, and if they cannot fulfill on that power, a lot of people will die.

There are many moments in which Mikasa puts aside her personal feelings to do her soldierly duty, from leaving Eren to help with the evacuation of Trost to leaving Eren and Armin to fight the Colossal Titan alone in Shigonshina.

And then there’s the fact that Levi’s the one who could break past Mikasa’s headspace and distraction so that she can do the right thing. He understands her strong emotion, he respects it, but he also knows when that has to be put aside for the greater good. But he doesn’t put her down for having those emotions, either.

Strength from Eren, Humanity from Armin

Mikasa’s love and loyalty to Eren challenges her tremendously after the timeskip and her sorrow at Eren’s change is what really stands out to me about her character in the Marley arc. The absolute grief in her eyes when she tells Eren what he’s done is devastating, and it shows just how much goodness and compassion she does have.

And yet she longs to understand Eren, to trust him, to believe there can be something redeeming, and not merely jaded and tired, in what he taught her so many years ago––to fight, to win, to live.

There’s such a difference between these same words said here by Mikasa, so many years later, after so much heartbreak, to the anger and flame that were in them when she first heard them, back when she realized that this was the way of the world. That death and killing happens in the natural world everyday and that’s how you survive. That the world is both cruel and beautiful.

And yet as the years wore on, as Mikasa grew closer to others, found purpose in protecting others, sought a life with Eren… as she wandered further into the forest of life and society and relationships, she lost some of that simple injunction... to live is to fight, to fight is to win. She, like so many of the 104th and the others on this journey, found that it’s not enough to just fight and live and be satisfied. We really want it all to mean something, to have our actions be redemptive. To allow ourselves to believe that we do what we’re doing because we’re not just saving ourselves, but saving others, “saving the world” like Yelena points out (in the forest therapy session pfff). And it’s that drive for something bigger in our actions that grieves her so much with Eren, because as she wants her own actions to be fundamentally good and selfless, she wants his actions to be moral as well.

So while Eren is the person that frustrates Mikasa and motivates her to become stronger and braver than she ever was, Armin is the person who humanizes Mikasa and allows her the space to be gentle and vulnerable. She comforts Armin, confides in him, puts her faith in him, and puts her life in his hands.

She trusts Armin with Eren, and she values Armin’s intellect and compassion, qualities she doesn’t have in nearly as much quantities as he does: “There are only so many lives I can value. And… I decided who those people were six years ago. So... you shouldn’t try to ask for my pity. Because right now, I don’t have time to spare or room in my heart.”

This bit from her confrontation with Ymir and Historia was a defining moment for me with Mikasa. It’s honest and realistic in a way that few of us care to admit about ourselves, and it’s just super chilling and badass coming from her, too. It also shows how much she fights for Armin and Eren both. They are the two people she loves the most in the world, and she never gave up on saving either of them––from death or from themselves.

I’m looking back on Trost now and finding so much irony with the ending to SNK. In Trost, she was the one to give up on Eren, telling Armin that it was hopeless to try to extract Eren’s personality from his Titan form. And yet, like in the end, it’s always been between Armin and Mikasa to try to salvage Eren’s humanity. In Trost, Armin tells Mikasa to leave––to go do what she’s good at (saving lives)––and to entrust Eren to him.

It’s a huge expression of both Mikasa’s trust in Armin, and her belief in Armin’s abilities and friendship for Eren. And in the end, it’s the two of them again debating on if there’s any humanity left in Eren. The bond they share is intimate and deep. With all the military doubting Eren and scheming to take away his Titan (with even Jean and Connie unavailable to them emotionally), it’s only Armin and Mikasa against the world––the only two people who can truly consider Eren’s actions and hold off on judging him. And you can feel their love for him even as they doubt him.

And like back then, it has always been Armin who understands Eren most, the one who recognizes his own evil and Eren’s and finds a redemption in having others stop you, because you cannot stop yourself.

And that’s the thing I really take away from SNK and from Mikasa’s journey, that we all have devils inside us, and yet there is still beauty to be found, within us and in the world––from the natural wonders that Armin dreams of, to the comfort of purpose and companionship that Mikasa has in Eren. Love and wonder is what redeems us of our devils. And yet love itself is complicated, and can turn ugly in its obsession. That giving up that love is what makes the love selfless and beautiful, what absolves us of the selfishness within us. That’s what Mikasa learned. And in the end, she was able to release that love for the good of the world.

So I guess to sum up, I really love Mikasa. I can see why her dogged loyalty to Eren might annoy some fans, but I think there’s a lot more to her than simply that, and in fact, her journey and growth is heart-rending and one of the most symbolic arcs of SNK and fundamental to its entire theme. She’s a badass with a lot of emotion and depth behind her cold mask.

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loosesodamarble · 2 years

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And your darling devil divine for the ask game please ❤️

Ah yes… My beloved Nacht…

BINGO! We got a bingo!

Man do I have thoughts about Nacht. Ever evolving thoughts too.

At first I was neutral. Then I started to like him when it was revealed he was a self-loathing hypocrite who was not so above it all. And now I’ve analyzed his character twice in a matter of weeks.

I believe Nacht is a well written character. He has a compelling backstory which influences his present ideals and actions. It's only my personal bias saying that Nacht needs more screen time. In reality, what attention he does get is used effectively to tell the story of someone who has damned themselves to living in the shadow of another, "better" person and deciding that eternal punishment is what he deserves for the mistakes he's made.

Tabata did Nacht a disservice by rushing Nacht's whole arc. He was laying it out so nicely and then one conversation with Yami seems to fix it. (Maybe it's not totally resolved yet and we just have to wait and see?)

And the fans do Nacht a disservice by like... Oh here are the opinions that would be like hitting a wasps nest...

The way I see it, Nacht only seriously hurts people he cares for on accident. He pushes away people like Morgen and Yami, creating a rift, but Nacht's intent was to save them rather than harm them. Even Nacht's greatest sin, Morgen's death, was an accident and not entirely on him since Morgen was the one to put his life on the line. Nacht is similar to Nozel in that both characters don't intend to harm their loved ones but it happens anyways because of poor/a lack of communication. Nacht's first interaction with the Black Bulls doesn't count because the Bulls didn't know Nacht at all and he was still projecting onto them. Not a good first introduction but it really doesn't hold the same significance to Nacht causing Morgen's death. Also, Nacht does eventually acknowledge the good the Bulls have done and how incredible they are. Yes, Nacht has said bad stuff about Yami, his best friend, but that still circled back to Nacht seeing the worst of himself in Yami instead of actually disliking Yami. So the way I see it, depicting Nacht as being whole-heartedly and intentionally malicious towards those he truly cares about is... not right.

Another mischaracterization of Nacht would be the idea that he wants forgiveness and redemption. Nacht doesn't want to be forgiven. Nacht never seeks to become good and instead believes he will always be evil. He even says he will "fight evil with evil" instead of determining that he will do only good after Morgen's death. Nacht ran away from forgiveness... Up until Yami talked away his issues all too easily. (But like I said, that's Tabata's fault.)

Does it sound like I'm absolving Nacht of guilt? Oh absolutely! Like, I know he did really shitty things. But I also want to point out the context and and possible emotional significance to the characters that gives the situations nuance. Still, I said these opinions would be like a bat to a wasp nest so I know these thoughts won’t be taken well by some.

Also these my opinions so if you’re reading of Nacht is different. We can keep it to ourselves.

Moving onto more light-hearted things about Nacht...

Yeah the music thing sure is accurate. I mean... I did do the whole Music of Faustsele series. And I still have yet to talk about the Yonzeu songs that I think relate to Nacht alone and one's that express his thoughts about Morgen! As you can see, Kenshi Yonezu and Nacht Faust go really well together./lh

And I do think about him so much. I mean, did you read the meta I did of his character? One of my most complex ocs exists thanks to me being absolutely taken in by Nacht's story! I want to learn more about him! Have more to analyze and study!

As you can probably tell, I really like Nacht. In fact, I love him. As a character. A plot device. A vehicle for themes and narrative progression.

Still debating if I'd like him if he were a flesh and blood human though. I wouldn’t be able to handle his criticism well if he had anything to say to me at all. Maybe. Depends on if he keeps the devils. The Bremen crew make him 10x more attractive, let's be real./lh+j

#questions from the ask box #ask game #nacht faust #black clover #soda asides #laura the writing senpai #i can't say the popular ships for nacht sucks because i think there's only one popular ship for him #and that's yami x nacht #and it's fine it makes sense #but also i think it's funnier to imagine them as exes #exes that can hang out but should never get back together again #i do admit that i have a bias as i have an oc i ship with nacht...

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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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Wants vs Need - A Comparison Between Kataang, Taang, and Zutara

A common source of conflict and theme developments within stories stems from the idea of Want vs Need, which effectively describes the difference in substance between ships like Kata/ang and ships like Zutara and Taang.

As so many meta have analyzed before, Kata/ang, as a relationship, places the emotional burden on Katara. More specifically, it forces her to be responsible for Aang’s happiness and well-being when he barely acknowledges Katara’s inner conflicts or desires. Even more than that, Katara is the embodiment of everything Aang believes he wants (compassion, kindness, peace) when refuses to see the more human parts of Katara (anger, grief, force), all of which I dissect in “On Ideals and Idealization.” Thus, rather than embracing the nuance in the divide between past and present, between war and peace, between justice and revenge, Aang stubbornly clings onto his perception of the Air Nomads’ beliefs - beliefs that he only shallowly understands.

The show itself even sets up a Want vs Need conflict for Aang in “The Guru” when he has to choose to let go of his selfish attachment of Katara to master the Avatar State, which can be interpreted to represent his need to let go of his blinding biases so that he can see the world’s truths and understand his responsibility to it (expanded upon in this ask).

It’s true that in the episodes “The Desert” and “The Serpent’s Pass” Katara and Aang find themselves in a state of conflict, but it is resolved in a way that only shallowly emulates a Want vs Need story. In both, Katara’s compassion serves as an anchor for Aang when his anger and grief threatens to overwhelm him, allowing him to remain hopeful even while Appa, his last living tether to the Air Nomads, is missing. These two episodes encapsulate Aang’s struggle as an Air Nomad as it shows him struggling to come to terms with the Air Nomad’s disappearance (symbolized by Appa’s disappearance) by recognizing the potential for a cultural revival (symbolized by Hope’s birth). However, Aang’s identity as an airbender in a world that has forgotten the Air Nomads is never fully realized, and so the effects of this conflict resolution never manifest in his character - Aang at the end of the series finale is not much wiser than Aang at “The Desert”/”The Serpent’s Pass,” so Katara’s role is reduced from the catalyst in extending Aang’s worldviews to someone who calms him down during a wrathful relapse of his usually sunshine-smiley self.

As for Katara herself? Her relationship with Aang pigeonholes her into one facet of her character - her kind and loving side - which is regressive rather than progressive in her series-wide character arc. In her confrontation against the Northern Water Tribe’s sexist norms, against Hama and the legacy of bloodbending, and against her mother’s killer and the implications of Fire Nation imperialism, Aang’s personal beliefs do not influence Katara’s in any constructive way. The most Aang ever provides to Katara as himself is a vehicle to achieve her goals, as his Avatar status allows her to travel the world with him. And so Katara fosters her agency and autonomy, expands her role in the world, and validates the importance of her feelings - all for what? For the last ten minutes of the finale to turn a light switch on her feelings for Aang and have them kiss without even a conversation beforehand.

Kata/aang is all about want. But Taang and Zutara are all about need.

Character conflict is not always necessary to write a compelling romance, and focusing solely on generating conflict often leads to the badly written melodrama and misunderstandings that often plague the romance genre today. So rather than focus on creating interest based on drama, the most captivating fictional relationships I’ve seen show how characters support each other’s needs over their wants.

The initial conflict between Toph and Aang delves into the essence of their characters and forces them to grow out of a stagnant viewpoint. From Toph’s introduction in “The Blind Bandit,” Aang and Toph clash because Aang wants Toph as an earthbending teacher while Toph doesn’t want to upset the delicate balance of her double life. But in his persistence, Aang has broken both the illusion of the unshakable Earth Rumbler and the fragile noblewoman to uncover the true Toph that exists in the space between her two identities. Unsurprisingly, Toph’s determination in upholding her current life is reflective of the element she bends and the downfalls of an earthbender’s philosophy - determination can become rigid and stagnant. So though she claims she doesn’t want Aang interfering in her life, underneath all her stubbornness lies a need for freedom, and fittingly enough, it is Aang who recognizes this and grants it to her. Aang is much more than a vehicle in this case - he’s the one who changes Toph’s mind.

More obviously, in the episode “Hard Work,” Aang and Toph reach an impasse again as Aang struggles both with learning earthbending and with working with his earthbending master. It’s quite telling that Katara’s suggestion - to be gentle and encouraging with Aang - is regressive to Aang’s progress while portraying Katara’s personality rather one dimensionally. In other words, she gives into Aang’s wants. What he needs, however, is as Toph says: to face his problems head on. So she forces Aang to solve his problems not the way he wants to solve it - with evasion and clever-thinking - but the way he needs to solve it - only then is he able to master earthbending.

While Toph and Aang have a significant impact on each other within the second season, Zuko and Katara’s complementary stories span the entire series. As I’ve said (too many times) before, Zuko and Katara are pivotal to each other’s character arcs while remaining autonomous from one another. Although Iroh’s influence on Zuko’s redemption cannot be emphasized enough, Katara’s offer to heal Zuko in the Crystal Catacombs holds the most symbolic weight in the series, especially because it is an offer extended by a formerly irreconcilable enemy. Beyond his desire to please his father and beyond his former attempts to capture Aang, through common ground Katara is able to recognize the need for Zuko to move on and a chance for him to redeem himself. Katara plants a seed of doubt in his mind, as well as elicits a small spark of hope within him. Then, after changing sides, Zuko wants to belong with the Gaang, but Katara affirms that he first needs to accept the responsibility of his legacy and to prove that he will make amends.

As for Katara, Zuko represents the possibility of peace between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes, which is first realized in the Crystal Catacombs. Then, in the Southern Raiders, Katara wants to hold onto her resentment against Zuko and the Fire Nation, but what Zuko recognizes is that she needs to find closure over her mother’s death.

What is truly incredible is that their importance to each other does not diminish with their conflict - outside his uncle’s tent the night before Sozin’s Comet, it is Katara who recognizes what Zuko needs to hear (that he has earned his forgiveness) before he can chase after what he wants (to reunite with Iroh). Zuko and Katara clearly have an impact on each other’s character arcs, and by recognizing each other’s needs under a facade of wants, they demonstrate bone-deep compatibility and understanding.

So, once again - Kata/ang’s conflicts are destructive, but Taang and Zutara’s conflicts are constructive. Kata/ang never challenge each other, but Taang and Zutara do. Kata/aang is all about want, but Taang and Zutara are all about need.

#my bated breath's posts #anonymous ask #ask #atla #atla meta #aang #toph #zuko #katara #zutara #zutara meta #taang #taang meta #anti kataang #anti kataang meta #my bated breath analyzes

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beyondd-dazedd · 3 years

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here’s an analysis of the angst between redlynn and rini and the main portwell scene in episode 8 because i have so many thoughts so grab a drink and relax because this is going to be a long one:

both larry and julia’s acting in the scene in ash’s room was incredible. you know exactly how both characters are feeling because it’s so perfectly written on their faces. but larry really goes above and beyond with the way he’s portraying his emotions in the little things like his eyes tracking and the choppy turning and the flickering eye contact. its incredible. seriously.

DOMESTIC EJ AND GINA!! i loved this scene it was so sincere and heartfelt. i wish EJ wasnt so down on himself. yes he’s made some mistakes. a lot. but he’s a teenage boy and he’s come SO far. and matt portrays that so so so well in his acting. that sense of self consciousness under the bravado that EJ puts on. DONT GET ME STARTED ON SOFIA. her acting is BEYOND INCREDIBLE. she has a way of delivering her lines so genuinely and like she has experienced every single thing that her character has. it never feels like she’s acting. seeing these two characters who are so unsure of themselves but put up this mask and then finally get the chance to break down those walls a bit with each other and finding comfort is so beautiful and makes this scene that much more impressive. i don’t feel like im watching a TV show when i watch this scene. i feel like im watching two teenagers try to break down their walls and be vulnerable with each other because they understand each other in a lot of ways. Matt’s line delivery of “that’s what you think of me?” was so soft and so different from the way EJ normally talks that it really hits. this is a boy who has no idea who he is other than his mistakes and the expectations from other people so hearing gina say that to him is such a vulnerable moment for him and Matt killed it. also sofia’s line delivery after that where she back tracks when she says “you’d see what I... the rest of us see” is so genuine to gina’s character. gina hasn’t put down her walls quite yet but she’s trying to. her whole life she’s used to steeling herself and not getting too attached. and here she is allowing herself this moment of vulnerability with this boy who GETS her even if she corrected herself that moment is still there. and then her trying to deflect when EJ tries to compliment her is her realizing she let herself be vulnerable and tries to not let EJ break down those walls any more than he already has. but he does because she needs to hear these things as much as he does. their soft looks at the end of that scene is just so genuine and heart warming. they get each other and they support each other in ways a lot of the other characters can’t. sofia and matt’s acting compliment each other so well and you can really see that in this scene. this is such a moment of genuine vulnerability between these characters and both of them portray it so well to these characters personalities.

now that i’ve analyzed the shit out of that scene let’s move on to the rini scene. because good god. there’s a lot. i like at the beginning of this scene there’s a lot of reminiscing which obviously sets us up for the whole issue with their relationship at this point. they’re both stuck trying to hold onto something that’s in the past whether that’s their relationship as a whole, who they were or who they’re trying to be for one another. the career day metaphor do be a metaphor for nini’s progress as a person and their relationship. like nini said it’s always been nini and ricky and there hasn’t been much diverging from that their whole lives. the acting in this scene is perfect. josh’s resigned and almost stoned reaction is perfect for where ricky is right now. i think ricky knew this was coming but he’s obviously still hurt and is trying to stay strong for nini because it’s obvious this is devastating her. he does a good job capturing that with his line delivery and how it’s almost robotic like he’s steeling himself for the inevitable. olivia’s acting is so heartbreaking. her facial acting from when she says “ricky that’s not ok” to when the camera is back on her after ricky’s lines is devastating. like it took her time to process this new information. her delivery of “i don’t like running away” is so hard to watch because yes she’s upset but she knows exactly where this conversation is going and you can see that. you can also see the ramp up to her trying to break up with ricky. also josh’s like thick swallow he does while he’s trying to hold back tears?? sir?? ouch. also them both saying i don’t want to hold you back and nini saying can i just hold you now? BIG OUCH. and ricky trying desperately to comfort her. it’s always been nini and ricky and then they broke up the first time. it wasn’t mutual and ricky assumed it was a pause and not a break up so there wasn’t the magnitude of the loss on both sides. but now they’re at a place where they are both agreeing to let each other go and they’re having to make a mature decision to let the other grow before they can be nini and ricky again is so sad. they’re saying goodbye to a decade of who they were together. ricky taking off the necklace and nini crying harder is so DEVASTATING. also the “goodbye nini” is so significant. he’s letting her go to be the best version of herself because her identity is so wrapped up in who she is with ricky. he’s literally saying goodbye to nini so she can be nina (metaphorically and a bit literally) and just watching nini cry harder is big ouch. i won’t say too much about how this scene might be related to josh and olivia as people because it’s none of my business but i will say that this scene was acted so well by both of them and you can tell that it comes from their own personal experiences which makes this so much harder to watch. i could spend 100k words just analyzing the emotions and the different subtle acting choices that are in this that really makes this scene incredible but i’m not tryna make a novel here. additionally this really adds to my theory about ricky being the metaphorical beast. this is kind of at a turning point in BATB where the beast lets been go to save her father but in this case nini is trying to save herself and become a better version of nini. this is also the point in the movie when you can REALLY see belle’s love for beast so i’m interested in seeing what they decide to do next with rini.

howie’s singing?? PERFECT. he really had a glee moment but i will allow it because it’s just so damn good. EJ cover gina up so she can sleep more comfortably is so sweet and also shows how their relationship is progressing. they’re helping each other in little ways but sometimes those are the most important. red and ash starting to be on the same page?? amazing. a main part of relationships is trying to understand one another and learn what is important to each other. and i think ash getting the shirt is a good representation of her starting to understand red. good for EJ for telling his dad that he isn’t going to duke. GOOD FOR HIM. red and ricky’s hug BROKE ME. ricky isn’t outright sobbing when he walks into the room and he’s not saying anything but red knows. he knows just from ricky’s body language that he’s distraught (friendship goals). red’s hold on ricky is so tight and strong which is literally everything ricky needs right now. also the reoccurring theme of ricky hugging a pillow while he’s upset is something so special to me. red’s little pat on ricky’s leg says a lot about their friendship. no words have to be spoken for them to be there for each other and comfort each other. nini reminiscing and then looking at her insta? nini 2.0 anyone?? or should i say nina?

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #ej caswell #gina porter #ashlyn caswell #big red #rini #portwell #redlyn

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collisiondiscourse · 4 years

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on the wonder duo (part 1)

(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)

yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?

bc like. ive been thinking.

everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)

but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.

as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders

with bakugou and deku... its different.

its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.

i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.

@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee @isaustraliaathing

(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)

1. Complementary Colors

I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!

A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.

Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic.

Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.

the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.

Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.

Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.

Izuku Midoriya (緑谷出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)

but that isn’t my focus right now.

We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.

After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.

(Sound familiar?)

Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.

On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.

When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.

2. Hero Too!

Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.

What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.

Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes

We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.

But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.

In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.

The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away.

The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.

“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”

A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.

Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.

At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.

ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)

Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.

(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)

As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.

(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)

we begin to notice a few similarities.

As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.

Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.

i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.

“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.

In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well.

The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.

When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other.

Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.

IN CONCLUSION:

As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)

Part Two: Interactions, OfA

kofi || commission details

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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I don’t get you, CJ. Why are you so quick to throw around the term “bad writing” when you don’t agree with something? Why not simply chalk it up to having different likes or dislikes than other people and move on?

Instead of deconstructing characters you don’t like, why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom.

You clearly love writing and analysis, but when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think your blog and analyses would be stronger if rather than dismissing plot points or characters as “bad writing” you step outside yourself and ask others what they see in that writing since it’s not connecting with you.

To be fair, anon, I don't get me either.

But I hear you, so if you'll allow me to do the thing where I launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs, let's talk about this.

I assume this might've come about because of the recent Violet talk here? Or maybe it's from older posts, I dunno, you didn't specify so I can only speculate and use the Violet posts as the main example here.

So here's the thing... deconstructing characters and storylines is something I enjoy doing. Hell, it's one of my favorite things to do. It doesn't matter if I like or dislike the character, or if I agree with plot directions, or if I think it's "good" or "bad" writing. That's how I work things out for myself, how I try to understand why I'm feeling the way I am about certain characters and story elements. I break apart the different aspects of these things and analyze them so that I can improve the content I create and try to avoid the same mistakes I've come across that I wanted to be better.

When it comes to me tossing around "bad writing", or just implying it, I'm not trying to say that "bad writing = trash, garbage, unenjoyable, anyone who likes this is a dingus, how could you?" it's more "I see flaws here and I want it to be better, I know it can be better and it frustrates me that I can't fix it," y'know?

And I'm fully aware that other people might not see it that way. With that basketball Violet post, I know that a lot of the Violet crowd are gonna read that and be like "no, I love the bell tower scene! It fits well with her character! What are you talking about?" and that's fine, I expect that. That post was me writing something that's been on my mind that I wanted to share, it wasn't me trying to scold anyone for liking it or trying to dismiss their feelings about it.

When it comes to differing opinions, especially on Violet, I've come to the conclusion that we just gotta agree to disagree. I've tried for years at this point to understand the appeal of Violet and gone looking for answers about her in hopes of being enlightened, and I have asked around.

In the past, I have made posts inquiring about what people see in Violet [Minerva, too] and why they prefer Violentine, and I got little to nothing in response. So I totally get where you're coming from when you say I should ask others what they see in the writing that I don't, but there's only so much I can do when no one is willing to answer me. So, I have to look around myself.

I've searched through several threads on reddit and none of them have been insightful, unsurprisingly.

That's what sparked my mini-rant about Louis before. On reddit, a lot of the answers on why people like Violet are either "she sided with Clementine, she's just really sweet deep down, she has more trauma, and lesbian," or "I like Violet more because Louis is a traitor," and what the hell am I supposed to get out of that, y'know? They're not really telling me anything, they're just looking to argue among themselves and I've had to throw in the towel on that one.

I've had better luck here, having read some truly insightful posts about Violet, her arc, and her relationship with Clementine. The conclusion I've reached it that the things people find appealing about her are things that I don't.

If you need an example, we'll use the aftermath of Marlon's murder when Violet turns on the group to defend AJ. Every post from the Violet crowd I've read that talks about that scene praises her for turning against her friends/family to defend AJ when they were gonna attack him, it shows what she's willing to do for them, that's something that drew them to her. Then there's me, who sees that as adding unnecessary aggression to the situation when none of them were going to attack AJ, they weren't looking at AJ, and none of this is helping. Neither of these interpretations are wrong.

Guess what I'm trying to get at is I'm one person, and having discussions takes more than one willing person.

Moving on, "when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs."

I've thought about this for a while, and maybe I do actually do this but don't realize it. I like to think that I'm engaging with the ideas that people send me, but I dunno, maybe I can be dismissive of things because I have a hard time being objective. That's something I've always struggled with, and I'm sorry if I ever came across as dismissive or didn't fully explore ideas, that's something I can definitely get better at.

As for "why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom."

I've done character nights, ship nights, season nights, etc. for about two years, give or take. That's what those nights were about. Usually, I'd put up a poll and we'd all vote on what we wanted to discuss, and then the floor was open for anyone to give their input, and we'd discuss.

I stopped doing them a little while ago because I was burnt out on themed nights. Remembering to make new polls, setting aside part of my weekends to spend hours answering asks the best I could, usually dealing with other projects on top of it all.... it may not seem like it, but god, those nights took a lot out of me. I loved doing it! Having those discussions were some of the best parts of running this blog, but now my new job has me working 40+ hours a week, four days with ten hour shifts and occasionally some overtime on the weekends, I just don't have it in me anymore to do it every single weekend. Not with how tired I am and with all the other projects I'm working on.

That's why I've started testing the waters with these shorter posts of me throwing out ideas or going on mini-rants. They're something simple I can do with no pressure, just me with an empty document getting whatever's on my mind out... and it helps that it feels like my last fuck has just flown away to the heavens to weave itself into the boat god's beard like as he sails among the clouds and stars..... so now I'm gonna talk about whatever I want and the fact that it's my opinion is implied.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a little defensive with this part, I tend to get that way whenever people tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my blog, even if they're just trying to be helpful and I don't believe you have any ill intent with your message. I've had this blog for three years now, and I've always had people telling me I shouldn't do character analyses, I should stay in my lane, just write fanfics and do character nights. I should answer more asks otherwise people will think I don't care. I shouldn't write headcanon posts, that's what other blogs do and I'll be taking content away from them. I shouldn't write that one au I've always wanted to because I should be working on [with you]. I shouldn't write anything but [with you.] I shouldn't talk about Violet because I'm a Louis blog.

And that's dumb. All of that is dumb! No one owns the concept of headcanon posts or character analyses! Just like how I don't own the concept of character nights!

Again, my last fuck is lost in Kenny's beard, I don't have it anymore. I'm going to write and analyze whatever I want, when I want, and the best I can do is promise to be better. My inbox is open, I'll try to answer and engage with you guys when I can, I'll keep doing these posts where I ramble about whatever topic is on my mind, and I shouldn't have to put a disclaimer of "This is all my opinion and it's okay if you disagree, I'm not trying to invalidate you" because that's implied.

Before I close out this long response, I do wanna add a thank you for the ask, I do appreciate the constructive criticism. Usually anons that have any problem with me after I talk about Violet will just call me a piece of shit and tell me to delete my blog. Maybe this helped you, maybe it didn't, either way thanks :)

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet

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tsukkisbean · 4 years

Text

haikyuu nsfw alphabet series | tendō satori

please block #claras steamys if you don’t want to see this type of content!!

warnings: sexual themes, mentions of (unprotected) sex, voyuerism, bondage, edging, fem!reader

a/n: based on post time skip!! okay i don’t talk a lot about tendō so it was super fun to analyze him and bring my headcanons to life bc he’s definitely a hard hard dom!! this is also unedited pls excuse any unfinished sentences or mistakes

return to nsfw alphabet series masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

i think tendō would be surprisingly big on aftercare. given how he acts in the bedroom (detailed later) he makes sure that you are well taken care of after a long session together. like he’ll grab some water and a towel and help you get cleaned up and comfortable. maybe in the morning he’ll have a super simple breakfast ready like a toast and coffee or tea or maybe even some chocolate depending on the time of day

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favourite body part of his is 100000% his fingers. his hands are large, fingers long and skinny and he absolutely loves the way they look shoved down into your pretty mouth, around your throat, or fingering your wet cunt.

he absolutely loves your mouth (detailed more below!!)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

so based on the above tendō loves when you’re sitting on your knees, waiting for him to cum in your mouth. there’s just something about the way you look with his cum painted all over your tongue. and it drives him especially crazy when you lick your lips to clean up the drops that are spilling down the corner of your mouth because you don’t want to waste a single drop

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

honestly? i don’t think he has any, mainly because he’s not afraid to be open with you. he strikes me as the type with absolutely no filter and so he’s going to tell you everything and anything on his mind whether it’s a random dirty thought or something new that he wants to try with you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i’m a little on the fence about this mainly because tendō has a personality that people need time to get used to and understand. so that being said, i don’t think he has a lot of experience, BUT he knows what he’s doing (from watching a lot of porn probably)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

you’re on your back, legs spread out wide, his hands wrapped around your ankles, holding your legs in the air while he fucks you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

not goofy, but i wanna say he’s more playful. he likes to talk dirty, and say things he knows will make you embarrassed. loves the expression when you’re lost for words but also clearly turned on!!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

not groomed whatsoever like i cannot see him giving a crap about what he looks like down there

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

honestly i think he gets so into the whole sex aspect that he completely forgets about being romantic for the most part. he’ll do things like praise you, and maybe a kiss or two here or there but most of it will just be him focusing on fucking you and help you reach your high

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he knows that you know and you know that he knows, yet you don’t move from your spot hiding spot. you didn’t intend for this to happen; all you wanted was to surprise tendō by finally coming home early for once. you peer through the crack in the door, reveling at the way your boyfriend looked with his eyes shut, head thrown back, and those beautiful fingers wrapped around the base of his cock. it feels weird to be spying on your boyfriend, someone you were regularly intimate with, yet you can’t seem to tear your eyes away. you don’t realize, but your mouth hangs open, drool dribbling down your chin.

the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as your boyfriend’s voice cuts through the silence in the air, “are you going to just sit there like a dirty slut and me jack off or are you going to come suck my dick?”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

tendō enjoyed seeing the look of defeat on his opponents faces when he played volleyball and i think that translates into the bedroom. he’s the type that loves to see his partner struggle (i would say he’s pretty much a sadist) and so i can think of A LOT of things he’d be into but i’m going to just keep it to top 3.

1. bondage: loves to tie you up, your hands completely bound, eyes covered with a blindfold so you can’t move in any way. the power he feels just seeing you struggle, the way your face contorts in frustration because your arms are bound and your vision is temporarily taken away is immense

2. exhibitionism: absolutely LOVES the thrill of the two you possibly getting caught will having sex; the expression of the unsuspecting person.he gets especially excited at the way you clench around him because you’re nervous someone will spot you even though you’re okay with the exhibitionism

3. edging: favourite way to do this is first by eating you out. as soon as he feels your thighs about to quiver, he’ll pull away. next, he’ll pump his fingers in and out of your drenched cunt, fingers curling every so often. when he he feels you clench around his fingers, he’ll stop again. to top it off, he’ll fuck into you, slamming his hips against yours but at a painstakingly slow pace. loves the way you beg and cry for him to let you cum.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the balcony of your apartment!! checks off all his boxes. it’s accessible and there’s the possibility of getting caught

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

dirty talk!!! if you want to get him all riled, tell him all the things you want him to do. better yet, tell him all the things you want to do him and you guys will be in the bedroom in no time

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i can’t think of a single thing. i think tendō is one of the most open to experimenting when it comes to sex and he won’t really know he doesn’t like it until he actually tries it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

this might come as a surprise to some, but i think he prefers to oral. the man is skilled with his tongue. he loves the way you squirm in his grasp, needy for more, but refuses to give it to you just because it’s fun to him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough; he likes to build up the momentum and right when you’re about to cum he’ll stop. continues that pattern until you’re reduced to a blabbering mess

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not a fan because he prefers to draw out each time with you as long as he can. will only do it if he’s super desperate and he knows you guys can’t wait for the right moment

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

this man is down to do everything and anything that you want. he probably has a long list of things he wants to try with you and it grow every single day.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

can accomplish anything he puts his mind to so i would say his stamina is pretty high. he could probably go for at least 3 rounds, each lasting around 30-45 minutes (including foreplay)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

lots of different toys for the both of you to use on each other!!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

given his kinks tendō is the biggest tease but he’s not cruel; over time he’s learned your limits and will push you just until you’re a quivering, crying mess because he knows you can take it

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not super loud, but he’s extremely vocal in the sense that he likes whispering dirty things and praises in your ear (with the occasional grunt or moan in-between) cause he knows it makes your skin crawl.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

at a time when the entire city should be asleep, there you stand on the balcony of your shared apartment with your boyfriend. one hand grasps the railing in front of you, the other presses firmly against your mouth. the feeling of your boyfriend’s lips merely ghosting against the nape of your neck is enough to send electric currents up your spine, “kitten, why are you so shy today?”

in one swift movement, both your arms are pinned against your back, your chest meeting the frosty glass of the balcony. his thrusts are long and deep, and with each one it becomes harder and harder to hold back your pathetic cries.

at a time when the entire city should be asleep, there you stand with your boyfriend for anyone to watch as they please.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

longer than average, average girth and a slight curve to the right

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

h i g h. mainly cause he randomly thinks of something new that he wants to try with you and can’t calm down until it happens

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

honestly he probably falls asleep while cuddling you almost instantly after you guys are done

#haikyuu smut #hq thirst #tendou smut #tendou x reader #tendou satori #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #clara click clacks #claras steamys

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arcadialedger · 4 years

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How Catra and Zuko have been saving me lately: A (sort of) meta

A very long, personal post under the cut. This is really important to me, and I could really use some support, so if you could take the time to read and reblog that would be greatly appreciated. I just want to reach out.

Once again, please PLEASE read. I really need help.

Recently, I’ve found myself desperately latching onto the characters of Zuko and Catra, as many have in the past. To put it simply, I’m in one of the most difficult times of my life right now.

I’m transferring colleges because I was doxed by an online hate mob (long story) , and in general because I just didn’t belong at my old school. I went to three different high schools, moved around a whole bunch, and I don’t really belong anywhere. All of my friends are far away, my parents are busy working and I’m alone.

I just feel like I’m wandering aimlessly in darkness, unloved and unsure where to go. I’m faced with making a huge decision about my future with this transfer, and I’m terrified. Terrified I won’t make the right choice, and terrified it won’t be the newfound happiness I so desperately need it to be. But most of all, I’m terrified of being unwanted and alone again, wherever I go.

I’m used to not being wanted. I’m 4’10, not thin, and have been tossed aside because of my appearance my entire life. I’m 20 years old and haven’t been kissed (how pathetic is that). I moved schools and stayed in my room depressed because I never got to lay down roots and establish a foundation. Hell, I never even got to live as a teenager. I’m just behind and broken.

I was hoping Tumblr would be my place, where I could write and analyze and showcase my talents. Be wanted for once. For a while, it looked like it might be. Then a friend blocked me and made a callout post, due to me having a different opinion on a sensitive matter, and a domino effect began. I lost more friends and half of the fandom we’re both in blocked me seemingly at their word. I had featured this friend on an episode of my podcast at, had many fond memories chatting with them, and even bought a zine to support them. The loss hurt, and I was cut off from one of the few things I had. It was all taken away from me. My growth halted as I dealt with months of online abuse: including death threats, suicide baiting (these people knowing I’ve struggled with being suicidal), aphobic slurs (knowing I’m ace), mocking and editing images of my face. My Twitter was hacked, I lost podcast deals with creatives who my friends who blocked me and started all of this went on to interview because of said hacking, and I was threatened to be doxed. I suffered blow after blow while the people who hurt me grew and were rewarded, allowed a place here, and this continues to this day. The damage remains. I have to self reblog a whole bunch to get my content remotely seen in the algorithm.

Because my entire life, it feels I’ve never been allowed a win. I’ve never been allowed to have and keep anything good. I’m short and ugly, talentless with nothing to give to the world, my family has no money so I haven’t gotten to travel or experience a lot of things. I’ve spent my entire life envious of the “hot skinny girls” who’ve been wanted and dating since high school, who live in McMansions and get to go on vacations.

When I work to make good content on Tumblr and build a following talking about what I’m passionate about? It’s taken from me. When I work hard to get into my old college’s honors program and earn a trip to Greece which I could otherwise never afford, a global pandemic comes along and makes sure I don’t get that kind of positive experience in life.

I’m used to it all, being worn down and unwanted and losing. I’ve gone my entire life behind, lesser, and not enough.

And that’s why I’m so scared. I have a big decision to make, I’m at my own crossroads, and I desperately need all of this to come together for me this year. I’ve gone so long without happiness and love. I need this to be the light at the end of the tunnel, newfound happiness. I need to find newfound happiness. All I want is to escape the darkness, find peace of mind and function day to day doing the things I love without being stressed.

So when I see Zuko— so angry at the world for being given the short stick, abused, and never making things easy, and Catra— driven mad by comparison and feeling as though the world takes away everything from her? Gosh, I feel it so hard.

Because that’s just what I do. I get angry at the world for making things so hard for me. I compare. I feel like the world just takes and takes and never gives me a win. And so I’m never happy. I feel their pain and loneliness so deeply, and I’m terrified that I’m the villain because of it. I cry at the anguish and self loathing in their eyes because I have been there. I AM there.

Like Zuko comparing to Azula, I feel lesser because the world has constantly told me I am so. I feel cheated and given the short end of the stick, as though life has it out for me. I get angry and lash out from my pain.I’m desperate for validation from people who can never give it to me. I’m so scarred from my past, I can’t believe I have a future.

Like Catra, I’m always left behind. I’m lonely and driven mad by the unfairness of the world. It takes and takes until I’ve lost it all, but it never gives. I’m so afraid of losing anyone and anything else, I refuse to let anyone in. Because why would I deserve love? There’s nobody who wants me, no purpose for me on this world. I’m nothing, just constantly chasing an impossible goal of perfection to justify my existence.

“You drive them away, wildcat”

Yeah, I know their hurt. I know what it all feels like. To be that broken, that insecure, that left behind and unwanted. The punching bag of fate. These characters suffering is so much of my own.

And that’s why they’re the only thing to give me hope.

Seeing them be where I am now, and where they end up, I allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, that can be my future. That I’ll get a happy ending. It gives me the courage to believe that what I’m so desperately striving for can happen.

Zuko standing up to his father and forging his own path in life, which leads him to a better place as he finds his destiny and happiness after so many years of torment. We both have scars-- if he can overcome his, why can’t I?

Catra, after so many years of struggle, taking agency over her life back from those to abused her, and finally learning to accept the love of those around her. Opening up to pain and rejection and ultimately being forgiven. Catra felt so lonely, unable to see the love around her-- maybe I’ve been doing the same thing. Maybe I’ll find the strength to take my life into my own hands and find my own love.

It’s so empowering, a flicker of light in what feels like eternal darkness. I am so worn out and broken. I’ve never had love, or learned to love myself. In the real world, it is find to find hope.

It is only in these characters, who have felt my pain and found their way to a better place, that I find comfort.

I am one of so many who have been touched by these characters arcs, and they are one of the purest examples of why stories are important. Why the emotions narrative can evoke are important. It is not only escapism, it opens up a door to critical self introspection that can make a real difference in our lives. It holds up a black mirror of our lives, providing an outside view of our deepest, darkest emotions and struggles which can be so hard to understand when they’re inside.

These characters, and their stories: insecurity, abuse, doubt, comparison, chasing validation, just wanting to find your purpose in life and happiness-- they are the stories of life, stripped down to it’s rawest emotions.

There is power in redemption. There is power in rising from the bottom.

As I said in my last post about Catra and Zuko:

“Their stories: being angry at the world, driven mad by comparison and a need for validation, making wrong choices, processing trauma, needing help but being too scared to open up and accept it, feeling as though they don’t deserve love or forgiveness, fighting to restore and maintain valued relationships, convincing themselves they’ve lost it all, feeling conflicted or confused, realizing what they thought they wanted isn’t fulfilling and hasn’t brought happiness, escaping years of mental conditioning which told them they were worthless, not seeing the love they have right before them, constantly fighting uphill for a life which seems to throw everything it can at them… Well, isn’t that just the most human story of all? And so their redemptions give us hope.”

I have been so lost and lonely for so long, and now I’m at a crossroads. I’m so scared to believe that this change, this new path, can lead to a better place, but these characters? They give me strength to. They give me faith.

This has been a rambling post of feelings, and I am thankful to anyone who has read this far. I’m just so tired of feeling this way, and needed to reach out and share this. If you are also feeling this way, know you are not alone. You are so very far from alone.

I just really don’t want to feel unwanted and unloved, like I don’t belong, anymore. I want to have a place here. I probably sound desperate because I feel that way. I don’t know how else to cry out for help other than sharing this.

If anyone wants to message or send asks about this, please feel free to do so. I want, and very much need, to talk.

#personal #personal post #zuko #long post #catra #meta #avatar: the last airbender #avatar #she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #a:tla #atla #spop #mental health

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looonnamoon · 3 years

Note

hi! i was the one who left the request about lov and i loved it!!! i wanted to send another one if that's okay. could you do platonic dabi and 2 other league characters that you choose when the reader(she's like 16-17 again) just breaks down bc she misses her parents so much? they talk about how they miss being a child and they had to grew up so quickly? this is a bit self insert and ihope it's okay and it makes sense! good day/night!

Omggg

I'm so glad you loved it bc I loved it too ♡♡

For this request, I decided to go for

- Dabi {anons choice}

- kurogiri

- toga

♡ I chose these guys because I think they would relate to the scenario a lot!

♡ also I decided to write this as more of a mini fic so it will be pretty long

Hope you enjoy sweets!

[Unedited]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dabi

♡ tonight was a different night, the atmosphere was a different tone than he had ever experienced. When you walked in the door to the bar, he turned to you, coldness hitting his body as you sat beside him, scrolling through your phone.

At this point, you would've said at least a 'hello' to him, he thought you guys were at the point of friendly greetings.

He looked outside, snow fell from all places above, littering the streets and coating all objects with white. He looked back at you, still scrolling through the never ending instagram.

He took a sip and decided to confront you on your quietness.

"What's wrong." He told you sternly, letting you know that this was his first and last time he'll tell you to talk about your feelings. But you knew also that he meant this, and that he was willing to listen to you.

You decided to take this chance of kindness and let your cluttered mind finally go, speaking about your life overall, how much you've missed throughout your childhood because of how life just sped by through you. You explained to him how much you missed being a child and being with your family. The warmth, happiness, and completeness you would feel whenever you're with them, it just felt so good. But now, you're a villain, ran away from home long ago and your family must have moved on from now, spending their time together without you, so happy and joyful like the families you've seen together on your walk. You realized how alone you felt all this time, without a family to support you and keep you safe, it was so scary. And it all happened so quickly, you couldn't adjust to it all.

You exhaled deeply as you looked down at the hardwood counter, hands slightly trembling and holding tightly onto the robotic device, the dark reflection revealing your tear-stains that you had not noticed slip through your veiled complexion. You also saw and felt a rough, yet gentle feeling of Dabi's hand rubbing your back, which helped calm you down.

As the tears slowed themselves and dried up, you looked over to Dabi, who was expressionless but in his eyes, spoke volumes of understanding, light pity, sympathy, and comfort knowing your bubbling pain.

He spoke, smiling softly at you now,

"You have me."

You still bored into his eyes, distant memories of your childhood with him, laughing and smiling at eachother. You then smiled thinly at him, realizing that at least you have him, a small peice of home that hasn't changed at all.

Kurogiri

♡ he cleaned one of the last of the glasses that Dabi downed tonight. The bar was empty at this point, it was pretty late at night and everyone at this point have gone to sleep...or so he thought as he saw you come through the door into the bar, silently taking a seat, and asking him to just give you a water.

He obliged, as he analyzed you, disheveled and unsettled, he knew that your mind was racing as he poured the clear liquid into the glass, sliding it towards you; wanting to give you as much space as possible before you could speak.

"What is the matter, child?" He finally spoke, noting that only a little prodding is needed in this situation.

You looked up at him sfter taking a small sip of the coolness, feeling it travel through your body. Kurogiri was always like this, even though he was partaly a nomu, calm, comforting, safe, even.

You inhaled, letting Kurogiri into your mind and its thoughts, spilling out as you told him everything.

You had been thinking about your past and realizing how much you missed during your childhood, those good moments that you would spend with your freinds and family. You missed so much and it all went by so fast, it was too much to handle, to see everybody else live a happy life while your here, in a shitty bar, with the most notorious villan group in Japan.

You didn't mean all of that to be some sort of jab to your freinds or Kurogiri, you just felt...

"Alone?" Kurogiri inquired.

"...yes." You replied, small tears welling up.

Kurogiri nodded and then quietly walked over to you, enveloping you in a smoky hug, providing you solace and comfort, letting you finally let your tears go as he silently reassured you that at least he's here to comfort you.

Toga

♡ She realized the intensity of your mind when you came into her room unexpectedly, practically slamming the door open and walking towards her bed, flopping down on it and still, silent as ever. But she knew something was up. You would've said hi to her or something by now.

You and her layed in her bed for a bit, slight awkwardness filling the air slowly. The quietness became too great to Toga she watched her distressed freind.

"What's wrong with you babes?" She asked, leaning towards your floppy figure, curiously poking you to check that you haven't died from suffocation on her bed.

"Mmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn......" You groaned familiarly. This was a sign to Toga, that something was on your mind and that you'll tell her in a bit.

So, she sighed and leaned back onto the broken bed post as she went back to her phone, scrolling endlessly on tiktok, waiting patiently for you.

About 15 minutes later, you slowly leaned up and away from the comfort (as much comfort as a motel bed could provide) and looked towards Toga, who is now sitting in a criss cross position.

You then knelt on her bed, nodding to her that you were ready. She then turned off her phone and sat up, eyes slightly widening like a cat, signaling that she was listening.

You took a sharp breath as you calmly spoke, your mind finally being set free as you spoke about everything. How your life was before all of this mental destruction, the missed chanced of living a "normal" childhood, making sweet memories with your family, and how much you missed everything. The soft grass on your feet, the sweet air running through your hair, the loud laughter and giggles that would come out of your mouth and your freinds, you missed everything. Oh, what you would do to just experience this happy feeling one last time.

She looked at you intently, understanding it all. You two were similar that way.

"But you have me, right?" She spoke softly, smile widening on her face as she took you into a big bear hug, followed by a snuggle nap.

You smiled softly.

"Yeah, I have you."

#mha toga #mha kurogiri #mha dabi #dabi x reader #toga x reader #kuroguri x reader #mha #yo this took longer than expected lmao #♡♡♡♡♡

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aces-to-apples · 4 years

Text

Your Reputation Precedes You

A response to “On Fandom Racism (and That Conlang People Are Talking About)” because lmao that cowardly bitch just hates getting feedback from people that she can’t then harass into oblivion

i.e. God I Wish I Could Use The Tag Fandom Wank Without The Titty Police Nerfing My Post

To be frank, I'm not here because I think you or any of your little cronies are going to change your minds. If the 'name' wasn't a giveaway, your group of ~likeminded individuals~ have quite the reputation for espousing ableist, antisemitic, and, yes, racist views under wafer-thin the veneer of "calling out racism." I think we both know that what you're actually doing is using the relative anonymity of the internet and progressive language to abuse, harass, and bully fans that you personally disagree with. You and your group are toxic, hateful, and utterly pathetic, using many peoples' genuine desire to avoid accidentally causing harm and twisting it into this horrid parade of submissiveness to You, The One And Only Arbiter Of Truth And Justice In Fandom. Never mind that you have derided autistic people as lacking compassion and empathy, that you've used racist colonizer dogwhistles to describe a fictional culture based heavily on real live Maori culture, that you've mocked the idea of characters having PTSD, or that vital mental health services are anything more than "talking about your feelings with friends uwu." Let's just ignore that you have ridiculed the idea of adults in positions of power exerting that power over children in harmful and abusive ways, that creating transformative fan-content that doesn't adhere to the spirit of canon or wishes of the original author garners derision and hatefulness from you, and that you've used classic abuser tactics in order to gaslight people in your orbit into behaving more submissively towards you in order to avoid more verbal abuse.

Let's toss all of that crucial context aside in favor of only what you've written here.

What you've written here is nearly 3,000 entire words based on, at best—though, admittedly, based on your previous behavior, I am actually not willing to extend to you an iota of good faith—fallacious reasoning. You posit that a constructed language, to be used by a fictional religious group located in an entirely different galaxy than our own, is othering, racist in general, and anti-Asian specifically. This appears based in several suppositions, the first being that a language unknown by the reader will, by nature, cause the reader to feel alienated from the characters and therefore less sympathetic, empathetic, and caring towards the characters. That idea is patently ridiculous and, I believe, says far more about your ability to connect to a character speaking an unfamiliar language than any kind of overarching truth about media and the human condition. New things are interesting; new things are fun; the human brain is wired from birth to be fascinated with new things, to want to take them apart, find out how they work, and enjoy both the process and the results.

The second supposition this fallacy is based upon appears to be that to move away from the blatant Orientalism of Star Wars is inherently anti-Asian. While I find it... frankly, a little bit sad that you cling so viciously to the Orientalist, appropriative roots of Star Wars as some form of genuine representation, that's really none of my business. If you feel that a Muslim-coded character bombing a temple and becoming a terrorist and a Sith, a white woman wearing Mongolian wedding garb, a species of decadent slug-like gangsters smoking out of hookahs and keeping attractive young women chained at their feet (as it were), a species of greedy money-grubbers with exaggerated features and offensively stereotypical "Asian" accents, and an indigenous people wearing modesty garb based on the Bedu people and treated by most characters as well as the narrative as mindless animals deserving of murder and genocide are appropriate representation of the many, varied, and beautiful cultures around the world upon which they were "based," then that is very much your business. Until you pull shit like this. Until you accuse other fans, who wish to move away from such offensive coding and stereotypes, of erasing Asian culture from Star Wars. Then it becomes everyone's business, especially when you are targeting a loving and enthusiastic group of fans who are pouring their hearts and souls into creating an inventive and non-appropriative alternative to canon.

Which leads into the third supposition, that a patently racist, misogynistic white man in the 1970s, and then again in the 1990s, intended his universe to be an accurate and respectful portrayal of the various cultures he stole from. I understand that for your group of toxic bullies, the term "Death of the Author" holds no real meaning, but the simple fact of the matter is that George Lucas based his white-centered space adventure on Samurai movies while removing the cultural context that gave them any meaning, because he liked the idea of swords and noble warriors in space. He based the Force and the Jedi Order on belief systems such as Taoism and Buddhism, but only on the surface, without putting any real effort into into portraying them earnestly or accurately. He consistently disrespected both characters of color and characters coded to be a certain race, ethnicity, culture, or religion, and likewise disrespected and stole from the cultures upon which he based them. He was, and continues to be, a racist white man who wrote a racist story. His universe has Orientalism baked into its every facet, and the idea that fans who wish to move away from this and interrogate and transform the text into something better than what it is are racist is not only laughable, but incredibly disingenuous and insidious.

As I said, I am not writing this to change your mind, because I truly believe that you already know that "cOnLaNgS aRe RaCiSt" is a ridiculous statement. The way you've comported yourself in fandom spaces thus far has shown to me that you are nothing more than a bully who knows that the anti-racist movement in fandom can be co-opted for your benefit. If you tout your Asian heritage and use the right language, make the "right" accusations and take advantage of white guilt and white ignorance, you can have dozens of people falling at your feet, begging for forgiveness, for absolution. And I think that gives you a thrill. So, no, none of this will change your mind because none of this is genuinely about racism—it's about power, it's about control, it's about fandom being the only space where you have some.

So I'm writing this for the creators of this wonderful conlang, which has been crafted by multiple people including people of color, who don't deserve this nonsensical vitriol, and for the fans reading this manipulative hate-fest, wondering if they really are Evil Racists because they don't participate in fandom the way you think they should.

Here it is: fandom has a lot of racism, antisemitism, misogyny, queerphobia, ableism, etc. baked into it. Unfortunately, such is the nature of living and growing up in societies and cultures that have the same. The important thing is to independently educate yourself on those issues and think critically about them—not "think critically" as in "to criticize" them, but to analyze, evaluate, pick apart, examine, and reconstruct them again in order to come to a well thought-out conclusion. Read this well-articulated attack on a group of fans who have always welcomed feedback and participation, are open about their backgrounds, their strengths and weaknesses, and wonder who is actually being genuine.

Is it the open and enthusiastic group who ask for the participation of others in this labor of love? Or is it the ringleader of a group of well-known bullies who have manipulated, gaslit, and then subsequently love-bomb people who did not simply roll over at the slightest hint of dominance? The ones who spent hours upon hours tearing apart, mocking, deriding, and falsely accusing authors of fanworks and metatextual works of various bigotries and -isms, knowing that those evaluations were spurious and meant only to cause harm, not genuine examinations of the works themselves or even presumed authorial intent. The ones who made their own, quote-unquote, community so negative and toxic that even after the departure of a large portion of them, including this author in particular, that community still has a reputation for being hateful, toxic, and full of mean-spirited harassers who will never look critically about their own behavior but only ever point fingers at others. The ones who are so very determined to cause misery wherever they go that as soon as their usual victims are no longer immediately available, they will turn on each other at the slightest hint of weakness.

This entire piece of (fan)work is misinformed at the most generous, disingenuous at the most objective, and downright spiteful when we get right into it. The creators of Dai Bendu, along with various other works, series, and fan events that these people personally dislike, have been targeted because it is so much easier to harass, bully, and use progressive language as a weapon against them, than it is to put any effort into making fandom spaces more informed, more positive, more respectful.

As someone rather eloquently put it, community is not a fucking spectator sport. You want a better community, you gotta work at it. And conversely, what you put into your community is what you'll get out of it. This author and their friends have put a lot of hate into their communities, and now they're toxic cesspools that people stay well away from, for fear of contracting some terrible form of harassment poisoning.

Congrats, Ri, you've gotten just what you wanted: adoring crowds listening to you spout your absolutely heinous personal views purely to live out some kind of power fantasy, and the rest of us staying well away, because fuck knows nothing kind, helpful, or in good faith has ever come from Virdant or her echo-chamber of petty, spiteful assholes.

No love, bad night.

P.S. Everyone actually in the Dai Bendu server knows your ass got kicked because you didn’t say shit for a full thirty days and ignored the announcement that inactive members would be culled. You ain’t cute pretending like it’s because you were ~*~Silenced~*~ after ~*~Valiantly~*~ attempting to call out racism. We see you.

#fandom bullshit #fandom racism #fandom harassment #fandom ableism #fandom antisemitism #fandom misogyny #by apples

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