#i love all iterations of dib i do

[nostalgia-tblr]

not to say the antis were right that selfcest leads inevitably to incest, but is the reading sylki to reading thorki pipeline just me or..??

[luimagines]

Imagine how awkward would it be if Married Hyrule and his love actually had kids before the Chain has to pick him up though? The children's existence, 2 year old twin sons and one year old daughter, are only known by Dawn (Hyrule's Zelda), Impa and the fairies for their protection. Reader rather have their kids be old enough to interact with others under proper supervision.

It is obvious red flags when Dawn hears about a group of strangers looking for Hyrule. She, of course, gets into contact with her friend so he can have a heads up. Hyrule's lover stalks the group in disguise to garner their true intentions.

Only when they figure the Chain mean no harm, albeit a certain goddess might get throttled later, it's back home to prepare but also fill Dawn on the situation. This is a group consisting of different iterations of their husband. A Link will always get where they need to go, guidance be damned.

Hyrule is tending to the family garden with his youngest daughter when the Chain show up at their door. Reader's traits are visible since they're too young to conceal it yet, i.e little horns, feathery like ears, tail and some fur.

The sheer awkwardness and internal conflict once the group sees their supposedly new companion already has a family of his own. Especially Time as we all know this man not only wants kids but also pass down his legacy and be remembered.

Different note, wonder which Links are gonna try spoil Hyrule and Reader's kids. Cause I know Wind is taking dibs on older brother. 😆

Twilight and Sky for sure are going to spoil these kids rotten. They love children and there going to strive to be their favorite person.

Wild and Warrior are a bit nervous because they also don't want to take Hyrule away from his home and family- but there's very little options left.

Time is heartbroken and pissed. Someone is going to be punched but he doesn't want the others to see it.

Four and Wind are to busy just hanging out with the kids. They'll wait for everyone to be done doing their things and figuring stuff out.

Legend is a bit nervous around kids but he wants to make a good impression. Something about this family seems special to him but he's entirely sure why. That is until he learns that this is the hero who comes after him the one left to clean up his messes time and time again. Legend swears his allegiance then and there and vows to bring him back unharmed and in good care.

[thedawningofthehour]

I've seen some fics/fan theories that the reason Donnie is so smart is because he got mutated with parts of Draxums and Lou Jitsu's dna. I don't think this is true, but it is fun food for thought. What do you think about theories like this?

I'm kind of...conflicted but also neutral on it? I think it would be very funny if Draxum was super careful to not get his DNA on the turtles but Donnie like...bit him and had a little scrap of skin stuck in his mouth or something. And from a pseudo-science standpoint it makes more sense-the turtles' human DNA is basically just cloned Splinter DNA, and Splinter is...not very smart. The changes in personality can be explained by their turtle halves, but it really doesn't make sense for a himbo brain and a spiny softshell brain to combine and form a supergenius. (though to be fair this can also be said for Leo's tactical brain) Plus there's the theatricalities. The love of botany. The eyebrows. There's a lot of similarities between Donnie and Draxum and I'm willing to bet the writers had something planned for the two of them in season 3.

But on the other hand I really like what this iteration did with the family relationship. I think this was the first time they're confirmed to be biologically related to Splinter (no wait, they were mutated with his DNA in 87 too, but ironically he doesn't call them his kids there)(though also ironically he's very dadlike in that iteration) and while I absolutely love found family, I really did like this take on it and how they incorporated it into the plot. I know Donnie having Draxum's DNA wouldn't change that, but I also wouldn't want Splinter or Donnie feeling like they were 'less' father and son because of it.

I'm also not sure how to feel about it setting him apart from his brothers? In 2012 there was the theory that only Donnie had Splinter's DNA-he was notably taller than his brothers with a significantly different build and facial structure, and he's the only brother with brown eyes. Leo and Mikey both had blue eyes while Raph had green-it's extraordinarily rare for a Japanese person to have those genes, so their human DNA likely came from a different source. (also now I'm picturing the 2012 gang emailing like...some guy who was in high school and had a part-time job at Petsmart in the nineties and telling him that he technically has three surprise mutant children) I think it...worked for that particular group and that particular Donnie, the angst of knowing he was different from his brothers, feeling shitty because Leo was still Splinter's favorite despite not actually being the kid related to him. (I love 2012 Splinter but he played favorites so hard)

I don't like how that would play out with this Donnie. Rise Donnie already feels very different from the rest of his family, and unlike past iterations his turtle half is not biologically related to his brothers and it's their human DNA that binds them together. Not that DNA is what makes a family, but like...Donnie would feel like it matters. I think that would give Donnie a complex in a very not good way. Though if they found out about this in the distant future where they've all forgiven Draxum for throwing Leo off a roof and fully accepted him as Dad 2, who knows, I could see him being smugly superior about it. (and you bet he'd fucking use it too. "I can't believe you won't buy me uranium, your ONLY FLESH AND BLOOD." He'd also call dibs on all of Draxum's shit in the will)

I mean, in the end it doesn't really matter. They're all brothers, Splinter's their daddy, and Draxum is Splinter's divorced ex and their creator/father. They're still a ridiculous family no matter what their blood says.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

SB: Sister RElocation thoughts that have been in my head (vol 2? 3?)

when Elle (Baby), Ballora, Golddy, and Bonneo are getting reassigned to the main Mega Plex (after Lols' reset breakdown), the higherups also decide to send the main programmer, who developed the adaptive coding the Funrocks use, to also head there to properly do diagnostics. this person? Sam Emily (Sam-E) (there was several Mister E/Mystery jokes in memos before this i'm sure). Sam's got Wulf as a guardian?? maybe he's a project that Sam is working on/testing, so Wulf's working off batteries maybe?? trying to see if the Circus Plaza could revert to being rentals instead of being confined to one location. anywhos, Sam gets called in too...so the kids have an adult on their side i guess. Mrs Afton actually was behind the scholarships that Sam earned to go to college; she watched him grow up on the sidelines just in case he developed his father's capabilities, and when he did made sure she'd get first dibs to use his skills. thus, Sam wrote the adaptive coding, which led to Elle and Lols being Elizabeth and Charlie (and Vixx might be himself).

in the post-main story/AU with Lilbit and Teddy...Sam finds Vixx wasn't fully decommissioned, but just put into storage, so he arranges for stuff to get moved to the Mega Plex (the Circus Plaz is getting closer to opening, so they don't mind sending stuff off site to make more room to work for a bit). Sam's able to repair Vixx, so VixxWulf.

but also, the Plaza stuff got sent down to storage, so they had to go digging for it...and they found the old yellow Chica. Chica doesn't remember being yellow, but she remembers things from when there was a yellow Chica (i like to think that the Glamrocks are at least eth secondary, if not tertiary iteration at the Mega Plex, so yellow Chica and purple Bonnie were from the previous sets, same as Foxy). this brings Freddy and Bonnie's memories into question, since they didn't remember her being yellow either...but they do remember the things. anyways, Sam manages to get her activated too, but with a new/modified personality matrix, so she is now Chica-Dee(dee).

the logic for this; Circus Plaza is going to reopen soon, so the Funrocks are going to go back, but they've all kinda gotten cozy at the Mega Plex. with Vixx being reactivated, Lols can stay (and Wulf can go to the Plaza, since there's no more Elle or Ballora), but Golddy has to go back with the Bons leaving Chica...but with Chica-Dee, the first thought was "oh she can go because open slot" but now Chica wants to go with Golddy and the Bons, which is sad because she's leaving her friends. but also Roxy and Chica-Dee sorta start vibing (because Dee is all confused about white Chica, and feels like an afterthought/replacement/not as beloved, and Roxy totally gets all that). plus Chica fits the Funrocks' most white coloring better (though Wulf being gray doesn't...)

half mentioned above, Sam dealing with Gregory and Cassie. he becomes a very tired babysitter very quickly, but does bond a bit with Gregory over games. but this does beg the question how he interacts with Vanessa, since they're both into coding and deal with the Fazgang. also the question of if they are related...

not my AU related but a thought i've had; i love the classic monster reffs in this. Sister Location having the Dracula stuff when the MC becomes a walking undead, and also abandoning your son that is just like you that mirrors William and Michael. but also giving Vanessa the Shelly surname, as in Frankenstein, because the animatronics are simulacrums brought to life by electricity in similar manor; plus her Vanny suit being stitching patchwork.

[illusioncanthurtme]

(I'm kind of responding to this, as well as the responses people have left on this post)

I can't make some sort of in-depth analysis, just due to the fact that I haven't actually watched it since it came out. Tbh, most of what I know about it comes from the parts I remember, screenshots and stuff, and what other people on tumblr have said about it.

So do I like it? I have no idea. It's been too long. I could rewatch it, but I am willing to admit upfront that the reason I love iz (and why ive been really into it lately) is mostly - or at least has has its roots in - nostalgia. So I'm hesitant to rewarch florpus, because I know it's going to be really different from the invader zim I know and love. And I'm enjoying this nostalgia trip, and I don't want to tear myself away from that by seeing these nostalgic characters in a different context. And I think that's the root of why people don't like it much: it's just doesn't have the same vibe as the old iz.

That being said, different doesn't equate to bad. People have pointed out that not only the art style is different, but also the personalities of the characters, and the nature of the writing, etc. And at face value, I think it's purely that way because this is a MODERN iteration of invader zim. It's not going to be like the OG (dark, gritty), because that's not how cartoons are now, that's not the trend. (Thats not a complaint - cartoons will always have select styles, visual and writing, that get made into feature shows, and the norm will continue to change and cycle.)

Today, cartoons/animated movies make the emotional journeys of their characters the focal point. You see this with the moment at the end with membrane. People are saying that was ooc and maybe Not Good considering how neglectful - amongst other things - membrane is towards dib/gaz. Which i get, but also, i feel like the florpus membrane is probably supposed to be an overall better guy. For the writers purpose, for them to make a heartfelt dad and son moment, they wanted a good dad who realizes his wrongs. Does that really fit the vibe of the og show? No, but I feel like florpus is less of a real "canon" continuation of the original, and more like "au where invader zim is a show made today."

You see that in the art style - everything being round obviously, but also the backgrounds. The sky was never blue in the og, and I've been wondering if that's because of pollution or something - that the sky is literally darkened from human impact on earth. And that would have been too dark for the florpus, because it's a *modern* animation made for kids.

I feel like I'm rambling a bit, but basically, I'm saying that the difference between the two is solely because of trends, and how cartoons have changed. If you went to an animation company today, and pitched a cartoon where an alien tries to take over earth, even IF your pilot was all dark and gritty, and your aliens nemesis was all annoying and maladjusted, they would still take the concept and massage it until it fits the mold of cartoons today. Which is bright and round and has blatant emotional exploration of its characters.

If you're like me, and find comfort in the nostalgia of the og iz, the florpus isn't gonna be super satisfying, which is fine. That wasn't the purpose of the movie. I think florpus by itself was probably a perfectly fine movie (again, I haven't seen it in a while, but I remember liking it), but if you try to get the same sort of enjoyment from it as you do the original, you're going to be disappointed. It's a good movie if you agree to acknowledge the disconnect between it - and the show.

ETF is very different from the series but i kinda enjoy it?

Like, the atmosphere of the setting is way less grim and macabre, and we even had some very aww emotional moments (because it's a film and films have a different episode structure). And well, i'm a sucker for happy endings, so it was nice to see Professor Membrane and Gaz have some touching moments with Dib. (i just wanna them to heal ok) (it's a start at least)

Basically i like to see the differences between the series and ETF as if they were the consequences of the timeskip.

Gaz very explicitly worrying about her brother's well being + Dib imposing himself on his father because both of them (Gaz and Dib) are more mature, the sky is more beautiful because idk maybe it's some invention the Professor made to help the Earth??

ETF gives me a hopeful, somehow healing and comforting atmosphere, and it feels nice

But then again, i'm a sucker for happy endings and healing

Now about the designs, i liked the colors in general, but it's my most vibrant and "happy" color style.

I really liked Dib's ghost shirt, since i study character design a lot, this says a lot about him. I just didn't like the red sneakers so in my re-imagined version i draw him with a black all star (i like to leave the goth boots for when he's older). And now he has more hair lol (i like to leave the undercut for when he's older too)

Gaz was the one with the biggest redesign, and just like Dib i liked her new shirt. But in my re-imagined version i mix her design from the series with ETF, i like to imagine her with a long-sleeved striped shirt underneath.

I don't have much to say about Professor Membrane's redesign, but i liked the small changes, he's not so skinny anymore and has more hair too

Also ETF gave me things i always wanted to happen:

- Alternative realities

- Professor Membrane being a good present father

- Touching moments between the Membrane family

- Zim discovering the mission was a lie

- Zim (almost) winning for real

- ANIME IZ!! (my 13-year-old self can rest in peace)

- The trial scenario

So yeah, i really like the movie, i had a lot of fun.

It's a great film to end the IZ franchise to me.

also tell me your opinions! i wanna hear it

[transssexualheart]

there is a massive difference between the characters in the show and movie/comics, most notably dib, where he used to be portrayed as a morally ambiguous outcast who is self destructive, friendless, violent, afraid, and desperate to prove himself no matter what it takes, and ultimately his goal is not to protect humanity but to make humanity believe him and he’s willing to make a lot of sacrifices to get there. we hardly see the full range of dib’s loneliness in the movie and how much of a reject he really is to his peers, mostly because none of the movie takes place in school, but dib is actively bullied constantly by his peers, the very first time that we meet him his classmates repeatedly call him crazy and ask what’s wrong with him, he’s been hospitalized at least once and detained otherwise multiple other times for being supposedly insane, the closest things he has to friends are his rival and his sister, both of which are actively shitty to him and their relationship with him is best described as tough love, his own father neglects him and refuses to accept who he is and his interests and believes very firmly that dib is insane and needs to be fixed, and he’s not innocent either. he has an unnatural obsession with the idea of disecting zim alive and has made it very clear that he wants all the credit for that, he’s considered letting himself die because it meant his classmates who have tormented him for his whole life will die with him, he has a complete disregard for the short term well being of any stranger around him, repeatedly puts his own family in danger without thinking about what he’s doing, and while he does mean well, he’s incredibly bitter due to the life and society he grew up in for fairly valid reasons, but he’s not the perfect stable hero that the movie makes him out to be. he has a lot of issues, he’s paranoid, he does things that are wrong to achieve his own goals in order to gain validation, he’s virtually isolated from the world and copes with this by focusing intensely on paranormal activity, he has the pressure of living up to his dad on his shoulders, and is quite literally seen by his father and everyone else as professor membrane’s fuck up who was supposed to carry on his work and instead went crazy when membrane literally made him, his father LITERALLY sees him as a failed experiment within the show, and this is hardly addressed in the movie whatsoever. he’s traumatized and has been since his early childhood and has a revenge complex that resulted from this, and probably has a whole lot of other trauma that came after that, which he will have to learn to work through as he grows up.

[grimalkhiindi]

saw ur post ab anti zadrs and ur so right esp because those ones specifically are obsessed with wasting their time actively posting in the tag and going thru it and bitching and whining like “wahhh i keep seeing zadr on my feed and in character tags” whilst ignoring everybody and they mamas saying “just fucking block it”. at some point if you spend that much energy going on and on ab how you hate ships its safe to assume you really actually like it and are only blabbing ab hating it because you believe any random person who took one (1) joke ab zim being 500 seriously

Yeah, I mean I’m not going to pretend to understand what’s going on in the mind of someone who is going through the tags of something they so actively hate, but it is very exhausting for me as a zadr enjoyer to have to run into them when I do. Blocking the anti zadr tag and variations of it mostly keep them off my radar, but some of them still slip through. 

And then sometimes you run into the people who have those really aggressive DNI banners in the general IZ tag that say things like “if you’re one of those zadr FREAKS don’t even LOOK at this post or I will KILL you” or some iteration of that. When all they really have to do if people tagging their work as a ship bothers them that much is put like. “Don’t tag as a ship” at the bottom. That’s part of what I mean about making the fandom hostile. Like, believe it or not, as a shipper, I can enjoy platonic and other non-romantic art of Zim and Dib for what they are. It seems intensely controlling to be trying to police how people tag their reblogs of your posts for their own blogs, but I can respect people’s wishes if they communicate it. Plus, I’m not really a content creator, so I guess I don’t really know what that’s like.

And you also find that level of toxicity within the zadr fandom with some people arguing that there are only certain ways zadr can be shipped. I don’t know, I just think that if you don’t like how some people are shipping zadr, you should just stay away from that. Plus, like. At its core, zadr comes from insanely toxic canon dynamics no matter how you frame it in fanworks. Like you still had to look at canon and say, “But what if I shipped these two?” So if you like zadr, it doesn’t make sense to me that you can even be arguing that one way is better than the other when at the end of the day, the source material is Invader Zim, in which Zim and Dib are deeply problematic characters.

I love the IZ/ZaDR fandom a lot. I do. And I am so deeply appreciative for all the creators in the fandom. A lot of IZ, specifically zadr, works have truly gotten me through some of the toughest moments in my life. That is not an exaggeration. But every so often, it gets really toxic in here, and it’s just so upsetting. Such is the nature of fandom, I suppose.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

@spanglespants​ said: 

Personally, you are the reason I'm planning on at least one of my fics to include Prof just being out of touch instead of purposefully neglectful to being forgetful. Actually I may redeem him in For a Smeet's Sake' at some point still have not decided how if I do yet. But he did notice something important in the chapter I'm working on. He'll get there.

Personally, you are the reason I'm planning on at least one of my fics to include Prof just being out of touch instead of purposefully neglectful to being forgetful. Actually I may redeem him in For a Smeet's Sake' at some point still have not decided how if I do yet. But he did notice something important in the chapter I'm working on. He'll get there.

Oh lord! That makes me SO HAPPY!

I know that Baddadbrane used to be a more popular take in the fandom. Just cause I feel a lot of people project their parental issues onto him...

But I think what makes Professor Membrane a relatable character for me personally, is that he isn’t intentionally malicious and he makes a lot of mistakes. Some minor, and some huge. 

He’s extremely scatterbrained, neglectful and sometimes he can just say entirely the wrong things.

He misses most social cues and a lot of his traits are very common to someone with autism (aspergers especially, which is why me and @paketdimensioncomic​ made the decision to give him that particular form of autism in our Fics.)

Like me writing Redemption arcs for Membrane and focusing on him as a character study is not me trying to say:

“Oh he’s trying guys... look at the poor suffering dad.. we should forgive him.” 

Like that’s not what I’m trying to say. Like people who think that about my fics don’t know me that well. 

Membrane has the most character shift from the show to the Florpus and he can be an extremely nuanced character when you look at him.

Professor Membrane in my fics and stories are basically me looking back on my parents from an adult point of view, as well as looking back in my childhood.

Because I know as a kid, I would have 100% related to Dib and probably would have not liked the science man if I had watched the show when I was ten years old when it came out. 

I think it’s important that Membrane LOVES his kids. He adores them and would literally do anything for them.

And before you say, “he has put Dib in the crazy house multiple times”

yeah, that’s a huge mistake.

But people forget that Dib attacks children in class. Like way before Zim ever showed up to earth. He chased and cornered a hairy kid up the monkey bars, bullied a kid and said his dad was a yetti, and has a LARGE file in the guidance counselors office ...  

By the time that the SHOW STARTS....  Membrane is used to Dib’s shananigans.... and he tries to be supportive....

Membrane’s dismissiveness here always kinda spoke to me: “ah, I’m used to this... oh well, boys will be boys, what can I do,  I’ll just let him have this...” 

People always forget that Membrane isn’t entirely dismissive of Dib here. Like he agrees with Dib that, “Yes, maybe there is possible life on other planets... but not INTELLEGENT life... and if there IS intelligent life out there.... they are way too far away in light years to engage in communication with Earth”

Like Membrane doesn’t dismiss the idea of aliens... but he sees aliens that exist in the show, something that is entirely science-fiction. 

Membrane doesn’t really understand encouraging imagination in his children... (like Dib is still 9-10) Especially since Dib’s imagination leads to him hurting and being harmful to his other classmates. 

The only reason I feel that he’s so adamant on the: “THERE ARE NO ALIENS” in ETF is because he’s dealt with Dib’s behavior for years over these things.... so.... Yeah... Membrane got frustrated and said “I’ve TRIED to be patient with your unscientific interests...” and by that point... he had been... Like Membrane lost his arms and has probably listened to and tried to be accepting and accommodating towards his son the best he can... (like why would Dib be a chair otherwise... Membrane sucks at putting down boundaries) 

But can you think of the amount of trouble that Dib causes and what he has to answer to... 

It’s not like Dib is engaging with a hobby like art or writing and Membrane is like: “you need a career in a respectable field, son.” 

That is not what is happening here.

Dib’s hobby is one where he is ACTIVELY ATTACKING AND HARMING OTHERS. 

What else is Membrane supposed to do? He’s trying his best to encourage Dib to engage in a less harmful and more productive field. He just wants his son to be excited about what he’s excited about... And I believe he’s completely unaware of the pressure this really puts on Dib...

Why do you think he said in ETF “I’m always proud of you”  BECAUSE HE IS!!!

I think Membrane is completely unaware how much of his encouragement towards “real science” is more harmful to Dib than helpful. But even in Mopiness of Doom.... as much as Dib being involved in his science makes HIM happy, it doesn’t make DIB happy... so he lets him go to “catch that alien” without forcing him to stay.

Membrane is obviously devastated that his son doesn’t want to work with him... but he’s not intentionally forcing him to stay or takes that out on his son...  He blames himself for how Dib turned out. (and he should, honestly at points) but hindsight is 20/20 and he needs to learn a lot more as a father... 

He made a mistake in how he handled Dib’s harmful obsession by just letting the Crazy House for boys handled things... He should have honestly talked to his son personally about this.. Like, “why did you push that boy off the handlebars” “the skool told me you were bullying another kid”  “I hope you’re not roughhousing with your little green friend too much...”. But Membrane doesn’t really know how to handle emotions and feelings and conflicts... This is something he actively is working harder to improve on..

I do think elements are there for Membrane to redeem himself and even then, Dib and Gaz don’t have to forgive him if they want, not really. 

Here’s an expert from Me and @paketdimensioncomic​ ‘s ARM’s fic about the “wishing isn’t scientific son” scene in particular, it’s not cannon, but it might as well be, and it’s probably his thought process (he tried to reach out to his son when he stormed off angry afterall)

I think Membrane is a very complex character, just because there are two iterations of him and he’s really the only character in the franchise to actually get character development. 

I know people when the Florpus movie came out said that version of Membrane in ETF was “dishonest” to his portrayal in the show... but I really think it’s showing that he is trying. And The Comics showed me that’s the Membrane that’s here to stay.

He has a lot to learn... Obviously... I am still dissatisfied with how ETF ended with the “All’s well that ends well” ending, but I always like to see the different directions people like to take the bumbling Professor in.

He’s just constantly tripping his way through parenthood, and I want to see him try 10000000% harder. 

In Conclusion: “Professor Membrane tries his best but still kinda sucks at parenting” is peak characterization for him and I love that more people try to write him like this now instead of intentionally malicious. 

[pinkiepiebones]

Hitman Zsasz best take cause it defeats the purpose of him being a horrifying nightstalke-esque serial killer with no preferred target. Honestly I don’t get why people just use Tallyman or Flamingo, they need a bit more spotlight and I want to see a fully realised live action serial killer Zsasz. I do hope we see one soon, that new Batman movie with the riddler seems to be more detective based so he could fit in as a cameo or… even… dare I say it? Main antagonist???

Anyways, tangents aside, I do have two questions about our favourite tally loving slasher - Do you think Zsasz has those weirdo fans that are in love with him? And do you think his antics have spawned any would be copycats killers? If so what do you reckon his reaction would be to both of these scenarios? Would he view all of these people as more mindless drones waiting for death or view them as the only ones who are truly awake like him? I look forward to hearing your answer, its always very nice to see your Zsasz content on my feed!

Hitman Zsasz is the worst because, yes, exactly, it essentially defangs him. His entire thing is “I kill to free them, and I scar myself to remind myself that I am human.” His entire thing is having no M. O., no pattern. The instant someone makes him subordinate to another, they errode the bulk of his characterisation. The notion that Zsasz, a man who‘s broken psyche completely shattered when he lost his final penny, would be motivated not by his own perverse justifications, but by money? The notion that he’d be a gun for hire, a goon, a leashed dog to be sicced on specific targets? Just use another character at that point! Anthony Carrigan and Chris Mesina are lovely guys but the characters they played were not Zsasz.

I’ve been hoping beyond hope that THE BATMAN will end with a sequel hook that introduces the concept of a younger Zsasz- though the deaths of their parents occured at significantly different times in their lives, I still think Victor and Bruce are potentially fantastic foils; if THE BATMAN shows us an early years Batman, it would be interesting to also be introduced to an iteration of Zsasz maybe just three or five years into his “career.” I’m just picturing a final scene, maybe one of those mid-credits scenes, where Gordon is at a fresh crime scene. The audience doesn’t see what he sees, we just see the flash bulbs of CSI cameras reflected in his glasses. He looks tired, so tired. A voice from the darkness- “Posed post-mortem.” Gordon closes his eyes and nods. “A mother and two kids,” he says wearily. In his glasses we see The Batman move from the darkness to the actual scene. We see the scene, now, over The Batman’s shoulder- a blood-splattered horror show, a living room where the corpse of a mother, her torso and throat ruined with stab wounds, holds the small corpses of her children, equally attacked, in her rigored arms. Gordon speaks shakily: “Same look as an attack two weeks ago, but the targets-“ The Batman raises a hand to cut Gordon off. “The targets don’t matter to him. What matters is the body count.“ The Batman looks to Gordon. “This is the work of Victor Zsasz.” Cut to black.

Something like that.

…anyway! Yes, Zsasz has “fans.” Not like us, who view this very fictional character with a mix of horror and curiousity, but the kind of gross “true crime” fans and people who idolise him. In one of those annual 80page special runs I have somehwere there was actually a short story about an Arkham doctor who broke Zsasz out and took him to her “hideout” to show off her kills (this is where that “Yup, that’s a corpse” panel I posted some time ago comes from), and he’s pretty neutral about ”inspiring“ her until Batman shows up and she attempts to kill him. Then Zsasz gets mad because hey, he called dibs on Batman first. So Zsasz kills her to save Batman, and as a thanks Batman gives him a black eye and drops him back in Arkham. Also a while ago, myself and iirc @madmaryholiday were postulating and/or writing a dialogue fic that was a conversation between two Zsasz fans on their Zsasz podcast. These two vehemently praised Zsasz and lamented that he would probably never hear their words of adoration, and they (iirc) snuck into parole hearings and went on “tours” of murder sites… I mean, it’s Gotham- ALL the rogues have *those* fans, right?

Also in my minific “Strawberries” I mention his fans pls read like subscribe and comment orz

[in-tua-deep]

Do both Fives get put in school in your double trouble AU? Do they get to have a chance at a (semi) normal childhood? How do the siblings handle having to actually parent one young kid and an actually an old man kid? And does young!Five bring out the childish side of old!Five? I just love this entire concept and young!Five having to fit in with the absolute disaster that his family has turned into. He loves them anyway.

“You know, we could go to school.”

Five flips a page in his book and ignored his ‘twin’ aggressively. But he could feel the heat of the stare from across the room and it was interfering with his concentration. So he glances up to meet gazes with a face identical to his own. “We aren’t going to school.”

“Why not?” Baby Five asks. Five shoots him a look but baby Five ignores him with ease, face earnest in a way they both know is false.

“I am fifty-eight years old.” Five informs his idiot double, as though anyone could ever forget what with Five bringing up his age every other minute. “I’m not going back to school.”

“Did you really keep track in the apocalypse?” Baby Five asks, raising his eyebrows at the other. His face is full of implied doubt, and Five would be offended if it wasn’t founded. When Five doesn’t respond, Baby Five crows triumphantly, “Ha! I knew you didn’t really know how old you are.”

“The Commission estimated!” Five protested, “I’m sure they were accurate!”

“Oh? Just like how accurate they were about the apocalypse definitely happening?” 

There’s really no good response to that so Five just shoves his book off his lap and crosses his arms childishly. Not that he’s a child. They already established this. 

Mercifully, Baby Five drops that line of inquiry to focus on the other equally terrible one. Perhaps not merciful after all. “What’s so bad about going to school, anyway?”

There’s a pause between them, before Five bristles, “It’s - it’s full of children that’s what!”

“You don’t even know what school is like!” Baby Five protests loudly, “You never even went! It could be fun!”

“If media has taught me anything it’s that school is in no way fun.” Five points out, standing his ground on the topic. Admittedly his knowledge of schools is limited - he only tried to scavenge around a couple during the apocalypse. Too many children’s corpses for his comfort, but a decent source of pens and paper and similar supplies.

“Claire said it’s fun.” Baby Five holds his position.

“Claire is six and the only things she’s really learning are how to read and write and make glitter monstrosities to hang upon the refrigerator.” 

“How do you know it wouldn’t be us making cool things to hang on the fridge?” Baby Five challenged, suddenly frowning. “Plus I mean - I dunno. I love Mom but I feel like she should be able to do her own thing, you know? Instead of teaching us?”

Five would like to protest that he doesn’t need the lessons since he’s an adult, but Grace has been a life saver when it comes to bringing both of her boys up to date on the present day and also gently giving them books and worksheets about things they never got to in lessons since they left at thirteen. 

“You want to be stuck learning about basic algebra and geometry?” Five asks instead, because it’s easier focusing on how school inconveniences them instead of how they are inconveniencing others. But his voice is just a tiny bit more uncertain that it was before.

Baby Five sighs deeply, “I mean. I guess not. But I’m bored of staying in the house all day and seeing the same people and just. Ugh. It’s been the same thing my whole life! Can’t we just like, pick and choose what classes to take? Maybe we could do maths with the higher up students.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re at like, the excessively knowledgeable ‘probably has a doctorate in mathematics’ level of maths.” Five says doubtfully, because it’s true. Five has been teaching his counterpart the equations and tricks he’s learned after forty-five years of doing nothing but think about equations and time travel in his spare time, but it’s not like it doesn’t come naturally to them. Five had always been light years ahead of his siblings when it came to the subject, and it was often a point of frustration when the others didn’t get something.

To Five, complex equations and algorithms were as second nature as walking. Sure they’d had to learn the basic at some point, but once they got the hang of it, it was easy. Time travel equations were more akin to figuring out how to walk on water instead of just walking. In this needlessly complex metaphor, that is. 

Baby Five slams his hands on the desk, making Five jump (though he’d deny it if pointed out), “That’s it! We could go to college! They let you pick classes and stuff there, right? So we could just test into the highest math class possible? Or not take one at all!” 

“We’re thirteen.” Five counters, but his tone is a little more thoughtful. “We’d have to take tests and stuff to say we’re ready to graduate high school. Which we are. Actually I’m pretty sure Reginald had us at college level when we were nine.”

“He always did have high expectations. But seriously! Just think about it! We’d get out of the house. We’d learn cool things. Luther ‘n Allison would stop fretting about what we’re gonna do with our lives. A whole new population to play tricks on.” Baby Five grins with mischief, and it makes Five crack a small smile back.

But there’s one problem. 

“Ugh, we’re going to have to legalize our existence if we want to do official things like that. And then they’re not just going to let us do our own thing, what if they try and take us away?” Five has never had a desire to go into the foster system, thank you very much.

“No one ever said we had to do things the legal way.” Baby Five sniffs, as though offended at the very thought of going through proper channels. Which, well. Yeah that sounded like the Hargreeves way. “I bet we could like, just pretend we’re the original Five’s kids or something. We would’ve been what, sixteen? There have been younger parents.”

“Pretend to be our own children? That’s your solution?” Five asks, eyebrows climbing up his face in incredulity. “And then what? Make it so we died and? Left our little orphan selves to family?”

“It’s plausible!” Baby Five protests.

“Yeah, and it would still wind up with us having one of our darling siblings as a legal guardian.” Five said firmly, which was his whole issue with this to begin with. “Which one of the boneheads downstairs do you want to have legal control of our lives?”

“Mom could do it?” 

“If you think Mom legally exists in the eyes of the law you’re even more naive than I thought.” Five sniffs, “She’s even worse off than we are.”

“Well okay miss negative Nancy,” Baby Five huffs, “You figure something out then.”

“Negative Nancy? Have you been hanging out around Klaus too often?” Five looks offended at the very possibility of their brother being an influence on his alternate self. Baby Five sticks out his tongue instead of answering.

There’s a pregnant pause between them before Five sighs, “Ugh. I’ll ask Mom about it tomorrow if it means so much to you. But I still absolutely refuse to attend a public high school with a bunch of snot nosed children.”

“We’re snot nosed children if you haven’t noticed.” Baby Five gestures between them with a roll of his eyes. This time it’s Five who sticks his tongue out childishly in response, even though as an adult he should really be above such things. 

“Maybe we can take a history course and you can correct the professor.” Baby Five offers, a vague sort of olive branch. 

“Bet you we could make at least one physics professor faint by jumping into class.” Five shoots right back, taking said olive branch with as much grace as he can allow. 

“Dibs on the time travel stuff for a thesis.” Baby Five grins.

“Absolutely not.” Five shoots down instantly, “When you spend forty years working on inter-dimensional maths, then and only then can you claim my work you little thief.”

And that ends the discussion on that.

-

BUT YEAH essentially I don’t think any iteration of Five would ever really go to high school with other kids like that because honestly?? even as an actual thirteen year old Five is lightyears ahead on some subjects and he has issues. Can you imagine Five dealing with bullies and gossip and shit teachers?? 

Five would have one (1) person pick on him and break someone’s arm because he was taught violence is the first answer to everything. He’s genuinely kind of too dangerous to be around other kids his age. He’s also not one to suffer fools lightly, and so the first time a teacher taught something wrong (which they would because history class is full of historical revision and Five was probably there for half of it) he would butt heads with someone. I knew teachers who didn’t like to be corrected and I knew teachers who would be thrilled their student actually knows a subject, it just depends.

I mean Five is thirteen and that’s what? Eighth grade? That isn’t even high school yet. I was learning geometry. I was reading the outsiders. Learning all the prepositions in english class. Making bridges out of popsicle sticks in physical science and watching that one miracle of life video again. We had to run the mile every Wednesday and it was the worst. 

You think putting Five in a PE class anywhere near other children and dodgeballs is in any universe a good idea?? He would obliterate them. He would make at least one person cry and probably send another to the nurses office and then, when he got in trouble, wouldn’t understand what he did wrong. Because Diego threw knives at him and probably hit him at least once, a foam ball should be nothing and that kid is making a fuss for no reason. Doing sprints until he pukes - you mean an average Thursday in the Reginald Regime?

at least in college Five would be able to tailor his schedule and take whatever level course he needs. He could be in very high level math courses and be in beginner’s astronomy or intro to archaeology or linguistics 101 or whatever the hell he wants to learn tbh (probably anthropology or contemporary history courses if he wants to catch up to modern day??)

as for the parenting bit, both Five’s aren’t exactly what you would call receptive to being parented by anyone thank you very much and will aggressively tell you to fuck off if you tried

BUT both Five’s also wouldn’t know what the fuck a parent looked like if it hit them in the face with a baseball bat because when they think ‘parent’ they think ‘good old Reggie here to traumatize everyone again’ so their idea of being parented is?? being told to train, being told what to do/being given a schedule to follow with specific hours carved out for everything, private training, being told their flaws in excruciating detail, etc. so like,, if the bigger Hargreeves are careful and subtle about it and frame it in a sibling way then they can sometimes get away with it

after all if Diego drives Klaus everywhere, then it’s not bad if Diego offers to drive the Fives somewhere, even if they can do it themselves. If Allison fusses and puts more food on everyone’s plates then it’s not a thing and doesn’t need to be pointed out. If everyone has to check in with hourly texts to the group chat when they’re out after dark, then it just makes sense that the Fives do as well since knowing where everyone is can only be a boon after all the shit they went through in the apocalypse

honestly the parenting going on is basically just setting up healthy boundaries (making sure the Fives knock before just fuckin jumping into someone’s room or bathroom) and gently coaxing them into going out and doing things which they can frame as family outings/taking Grace out to see the world, and also gently nudging both Fives in the direction of healthier coping mechanisms/getting them to go to therapy, that sort of thing

Vanya is a firm believer in both therapy and setting an example so she probably gently encourages the whole family to find someone to talk to and holding up setting an example to the Fives as an excuse to get her whole family into much needed therapy is very helpful

and young Five ABSOLUTELY brings out the childish side in old Five, mainly because old five actually genuinely has No Fucking Idea how adults function and while he physically grew up, his social growth was very stunted by the,, how do i put this,,, lack of Anyone Existing Around Him For Forty Years so he has like?? vague ideas of how grown up people function but not a whole lot

like his primary example of Being An Adult are a) Reginald, an eccentric billionaire who didn’t work outside of abusing children like that was his job and b) the Handler who has no concept of personal space and frequently insinuates she’s going to kill him

and THEN,, when he actually achieves his goal and gets back to his family he gets a wonderful assortment of:

Luther, who lived on the moon for four years with no social interaction. Has never owned property or held down a job. Has he ever done taxes? Has he voted in an election? Does he even have a license?

Diego, who lives in a boiler room at the back of a gym and fights crime as a vigilante in his spare time after flunking out of the police academy. Has anger issues and an obsession with knives.

Allison, the movie star whose personal life is a fucking WRECK and is going through a brutal child custody case after she mind controlled her child on multiple occasions. 

Klaus, who in general is just a wreck of a human being who has no occupation that I know of and is frequently in and out of rehab. Also homeless and overdoses on a seemingly regular basis if the nonchalant-ness with the paramedic says anything on that.

Ben, who is dead and invisible to them but who likely died before reaching adulthood anyway so.

Vanya, who has managed to hold down a job and home but has no social life to speak of and taste in men bad enough to literally end the world if given the chance. Seething with anger and resentment that has been bottled down and doesn’t know how to deal with her own emotions (though that was mostly Reggie’s fault tbh)

but as you can see there is not one single human adult in the Fives lives that is even in the ballpark of healthy normal adult role model.

I got away from myself but my point is that Five doesn’t know how adults act and baby Five is capable of prodding Five into joining his shenanigans partially because of this fact and partially because Five just genuinely wants to have fun sometimes

and if, occasionally, the duo pretend to be one another so that Five has an excuse for acting as childish as his genuinely teen counterpart then, well,,, who can tell them apart anyway? and it’s in the name of the game and confusing their siblings so there

I have plenty of feelings about the double trouble au goodness gracious

[sunevial]

The Follower’s Game Night

Because the last post about the Follower’s Game Night gained a lot of traction, I now present a small compendium of rules and regulations that immediately happened as a result of the Monopoly Night post.

Game Night is a sacred event for the Followers. Part ritual, part get together, they use this event to claim first dibs to various missions from Murder God, keep group cohesion running smoothly, and to claim bragging rights over their coworkers. While they will occasionally run games of Discord Murder Party (or Discord Murder Fest, to avoid copying their Captain), they mostly play what mortals would consider rather...’mundane games’.

While the Followers have a large number of games on hand and regularly play them in smaller groups, there are much stricter rules for Game Night.

Overarching rules

1. No magic of any kind (innate abilities only get a pass if they literally can’t be turned off). This rule can be broken to enhance the game or for Aesthetic Purposes, should everyone agree to it. 

2. If you’re gonna cheat, be smart about it. You will be disqualified if caught unless you can rules lawyer your way out of it.

3. A different person brings snacks each time. Eldritch energy is restricted to once a year, as it results in terrible hallucinations for everyone involved.

4. Spike the drinks and you will be beaten up.

5. There must always be one game of darts. However, people in front of the dart board is restricted to every other Game Night, as blood is especially difficult to clean up in the game room (they’re looking into getting the tile replaced).

Banned Games

Monopoly

Mario Kart

Mario Party: This is limited to the version with Bowser mode where the object of the game is to steal stars from other players.

Coup: Reality warpers make it so none of them can be trusted to follow the rules

Golf With Your Friends: Upon even mentioning this game, Game Night is suspended for a week. No one wants a repeat of Last Time.

Chess: This game resulted in the French Revolution.

Munchkins: Once people began forcing people to endure effects in real life, things went south very fast.

Bocce Ball

A very specific version of Rock, Paper, Scissors where the winner must bonk the loser with a rolled up newspaper or toy hammer. It escalated from harmless fun to “PUT DOWN THE BAZOOKA” in the span of about ten minutes.

Restricted Games

Uno: Only one game is allowed per year, and wars can’t be started on over whoever wins. This was put into place after the “Let’s see who can cause WWI fastest with the dumbest assassin” challenge because of a lost game of Uno was a huge mess. This has been referred to as “Franz Ferdinand’s little accident”.

Scrabble: While considered ‘safe’, it is restricted to ‘Modern Day English’, as including alien languages results in the game taking far too long, needing a much larger board, and a lot of extra tiles. Previous iterations without this rule resulted in “zkymn'hktr'azqjgpeughleh” being played, scoring a bajillion points over the triple word score tile. This word translates to “the end of all cometh on swift, silent wings and death dwells in the heart of all men.” It also means gummy bear in eldritch slang.

Chinese Checkers: Old Priestess is specifically banned from this game because she has a deep instinctual desire to eat the colored balls, as they resemble tasty, crunchy fruit. 

Charades: Shapeshifting and the use of extra appendages are banned.

Every iteration of poker: This is the one game where the cheating rule is completely suspended. They all cheat at poker. Advisor is also banned from any role except for the dealer, as previous game nights have resulted in significant amounts of violence when he kept winning. 

Mysterium: The “ghost” must be immune to telekinesis

Billiards: Only allowed when they don’t have guests, as Old Priestess likes to do “sexy billiards tricks” that are a pain for everyone else to deal with. Lieutenant is notoriously bad at this game.

Noted ‘Safe’ Games

Sheriff of Nottingham: This game is inherently hallowed and cannot be affected by reality bending magic. None of them know why. None of them question it.

Shogi

Go

Carcassonne

Lanterns

Ticket to Ride

Yuker

Bullshit/Cheat

Old Maid

Settlers of Catan

Risk: On occasion, they will hijack a timeline to actually pit countries against each other. It all depends on whether they can find one or not.

Forbidden Island/Desert/Sky: As they are forced to work together on these games, they always go surprisingly well.

“Plentiful-plastic-fun” children’s games from the dollar store: These are pulled out when they all need a break. On occasion, they will replace the plastic parts with their real life counterparts if everyone agrees. There is a group consensus that Real Life Hungry Hungry Hippos is especially fun.

Love Letter: Old Priestess will not cheat at this game.

Red Dragon Inn

Mahjong: Old Priestess and Witch are extremely competitive at this game, as the two of them always play it up like in old Asian Kung Fu/Gangster movies. The room turns smokey, they both play everything straight, and they get their fix of overdramaticness.

Betrayal at House on the Hill: This game especially heavily uses the Follower’s various abilities to warp reality. Personal powers are not allowed, but anything to make the experience more dramatic is.

Fun Facts

Part Timer holds the record for every arcade game that involves a gun. However, if the arcade game involves hunting, Huntress holds that title instead.

Witch holds all the DDR records. 

Bookkeeper has won every single game of trivial pursuit, regardless of edition. 

For trivia-based or game-show based games, Advisor and Bookkeeper have managed to obtain the maximum score on both. However, this was a long fought battle, as small timeline differences can have large impacts on what day certain wars ended. They’ve since gotten much better at organizing.

Lieutenant holds the records for darts and skeeball. 

Advisor deliberately disables telepathy and future sight for as long as he possibly can. His curiosity almost always gets the best of him.

Huntress dominates any physical games. She hasn’t lost a single arm wrestling match, and she is an uncannily good bowler. She also is exceptionally good at old olympic sports, such as wrestling, discus, and javelins.

When in doubt, Old Priestess is always cheating. She also always has and always will have the highest score on the pinball machine. 

[theonceoverthinker]

the brotps ask for golden hook & capt charming!

Golden Hook! I’m going to do their first iteration to keep things more interesting!

who steals french fries off the other’s plateKillian. Rumple scowls. Rumple retaliates with a magical barrier, but Killian finds coming up with new ways around the barrier makes the fries taste so much better.

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a coupleKillian. The two of them proceed to fake flirt for the rest of the day, trying to constantly one up each other. They get to planning a four week vacation to France and the placement of an engagement ring in Rumple’s Amazon cart before the day ends.

who has to bust or bail the other out of jailRumple. Killian may be a cop, but Rumple would find a way to get him arrested and then make him ask to be bailed out.

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issuesI think Killian would give him advice. Rumple wouldn’t ask for it or anything, but Killian would just know what’s going on and give the advice unsolicited. Rumple’s annoyed by that, and hates to admit it, but so far, Killian’s been completely accurate with his advice.

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyesI like the idea of Killian being so good at a game that Rumple thinks he’s cheating and thus, covering his eyes. Bonus points if Killian still does! XD

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunkKillian. Rumple prefers the bottom bed, but soon regrets it as he finds that Killian moves a lot in his sleep. The top bunk keeps rocking bck and forth. It doesn’t fall, but it does leave Rumple apprehensive the entire night.

who starts and who wins the pillow fightsRumple starts and wins pillow fights. Killian makes a comment about something miniscule, but annoying and Rumple just magically yeets a pillow at his head. It’s not a full-on smackdown -- Killian does get a few hits in, but Rumple dominates him. When it’s all over, he rests his feet on  a pillow right above Killian’s head.

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crushKillian. Belle would laugh her ass off and Rumple would blush too hard to even react. 

Captain Charming

who steals french fries off the other’s plateKillian! He steals them with the hook, which is pretty funny. Sometimes, if he doesn’t press on them hard enough they fall right back on the plate and David gets a great laugh out of it. David tries to steal fries from Killian, but Killian’s always prepared.

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a coupleThis is tough! On one hand (pun intended), have you SEEN Josh Dallas and Colin? Half the time, he’s going in for the kiss! And there was that “I’m a married man” line from “The New Neverland,” but Killian himself is a lot more playful in general, so I’m gonna say him. 

who has to bust or bail the other out of jailOkay, so while my first thought was that David would have to bail Killian out because Killian’s the reckless one, I love the idea of Killian never getting arrested since he’s technically the police! And maybe one night, he and David get drunk and David pukes on a sign or something and Killian puts him in jail (As a jest) and the next day, David has to (begrudgingly) beg Killian to let him out.

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issuesI think since Davids been in his relationship with Snow longer, he often gives the advice. He knows when something’s up and needles Killian about it until he comes clean. He calls himself a “love expert” (He got that idea from Kristoff), and Killian rolls his eyes, but respects the title all the same. Sometimes David comes to Killian for advice on how to spice things up in terms of dating and sex.

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyesThis has Killian written all over it, but I like the idea of Killian beating David at one game so much that David covers his eyes in a vain attempt to win and Killian never letting him live it down.

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunkI like the idea of Killian calling top bunk. David isn’t exactly afraid of heights, but he’s always freaked out by how rickety the top bunk feels. He’s much more comfortable on the bottom anyways.

who starts and who wins the pillow fightsDavid starts the pillow fight. Killian will make a silly quip about something (Ex. stabbing him in the heart) and David will take a swing at him. Killian catches it with his hook and counters with his other hand. David calls him a cheater and the fight only escalates from there. Both are excellent dodgers and when their pillows hit, they hit HARD. Needless to say, when Snow finds out what they did, she makes David and Killian buy her all new pillows together.

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crushKillian. Needless to say, it’s awkward as all hell, but in a way that they immediately laugh off.

[terezis]

Fics where the rq is a close friend of Krav’s and mom’s him to his annoyance are great, but I have yet to read a fic where the rq is quite literally kravitz’s overbearing mother. I’ll read any fic as long as at some point Taako has to meet Kravitz’s actual literal mother the Raven Queen or whatever iteration she is in this au. She calls kravitz on the phone constantly “so when am I meeting this boyfriend of yours?? Will you bring him when you next visit?? When are you getting married??”

big agree, but have you considered: all of this in canon. 

the actual, literal goddess of death, the lady of eternal winter, she-who-shall-bear-judgement-to-one-thousand-souls, her majesty the raven queen. nagging kravitz about his love life. just, incessantly. kravitz, how is taako doing? lady istus wants to have tea next week, is he free? has he proposed yet? kravitz, why haven’t you proposed yet? i know istus called dibs on his soul when he finally croaks, but he’s mortal for now, darling. they don’t stay young forever, you know!

except when she says these things it sounds like bones creaking and the discordant caws of one hundred crows.

[resonance-chatroom]

What would you do if you found a genie and got 3 wishes? (In the term you each get 3 wishes)

Comic: three wishes huh?

Red: ded assgore ded alphys n my bro immortal

Edge: YOU FUCKING DICK HOW DARE YOU!! OBVIOUSLY THE CORRECT ANSWER IS THE BARRIER BROKEN, MYSELF KING OF THE SURFACE, AND- WELL THAT IS REALLY ALL I NEED.

Red: bro be immortal

Edge: I HAVE SEEN ENOUGH STUPID FUCKING ANIME TO KNOW WHERE THAT WOULD GET ME AND FUCK THAT SHIT RIGHT TO HELL!!

Red: boss dat shit aint real

Edge: AND I WOULD PREFER TO KEEP IT THAT WAY!!

Slim: dont need nothin i dont got

Razz: I MIGHT HAVE ASKED FOR A CLONE OF MYSELF BUT I THINK THERE ARE ENOUGH OF THEM RUNNING AROUND, ALL OF THEM USELESS. SO INSTEAD I WILL ASK FOR IMMORTALITY FOR MYSELF, THE MUTT, AND THEN GIVE MY LAST WISH TO THE HUMAN FOR WHATEVER.

Edge: ENJOY BEING SHORT AND USELESS FOREVER

Razz: FUCK YOU

Edge: THERE IS NOT ENOUGH GAY IN THE MULTIVERSE TO MAKE ME WANT THAT

Dance: if only because red, slim, and lust stole it all

Red: go fuk urself

Lust: dibs~

Comic: back on track

Comic: i’d want a ketchup bottle that could never empty no matter how much i drank, and a never ending supply of ‘dogs… and my dad back to how he used to be, all unfragmented

Rus: I WOULD WISH SANS WOULD ALWAYS BE CLEAN, THAT SANS’ ROOM ALWAYS BE CLEAN, AND ALSO WORLD PEACE!!

Blue: A MOTORCYCLE!!! THAT WOULD NOT BREAK!!! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES!!! ALPHYS TOSSED IT AROUND!!! ALSO TO BE TALLER!! AND ALSO FOR THAT DARN CANINE TO LEAVE MY SPECIAL ATTACKS ALONE!!!

Rus: I CHANGE MY MIND I WILL CLEAN SANS’ ROOM IF IT MEANS KEEPING THAT ANNOYING DOG AWAY FROM MY PANTRY WHERE THERE ARE BONES AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE!!

Lust: i’d wish away the lt from everyone in my universe who didn’t want it. then use the other two wishes to live some of my fantasies…

Slim: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lust: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pink: WHICH ONES??

Red: i c u typin u kinky fuk n u cn just delete it all cuz nobd wanna see dat

Dance: for once i agree

Lust: tell ya later bro

Slim: me too i hope

Lust: gladly~

Dance: i dunno what i would want, other than maybe to take the brat’s reset powers away, give toriel back her dead kids, and have an endless supply of ketchup

Suave: WORLD PEACE SOUNDS GOOD TO ME TOO!! BUT I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO TAKE SANS SO SEE THE MOON UP CLOSE!! AND MAYBE AN AUTOGRAPH FROM THAT NAPSTATION FELLOW BLUE INTRODUCED ME TO!!

Stretch: ya realize we can getcha that right? i work with the guy

Suave: REALLY?!?! WOWWIE!!

Stretch: i’ll look into it this week.

Stretch: as for me? infinite honey, a bigger bed, and a way to take pictures without a camera

Pink: I WANT THE BARRIER DOWN, TO MARRY METTATON, AND HAVE LOTS OF KIDS TO LOVE AND SQUEEZE AND TEACH HOW TO COOK!!

Lust: bro… i want that for you too

Lust: and i will teach them how to annoy you like the naught uncle i was born to be~

Pink: YOU WILL NOT TEACH THEM HOW TO BOONDOGGLE!! BUT YOU MAY HELP METTATON TEACH THEM SCIENCE!!

Tori: i’d wish my anxiety was gone, and to… have something else back…

Gory: I WOULD WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE!! AND SEE MY SIS SETTLE DOWN!!

Tori: omg bro why 0///0

Axe: i wanna box that always has food in it every time i open it, a tool that can fix anything broken, and undick ta get hit so hard by karma she cant see straight

Red: y not ded

Axe: too quick. shes hotta suffer

Red: i can respect that

Chara: i want sans and paps to make up and be a happy family again, and endless supply of chocolate, and for every iteration of my bro ever to get a happy ending

Stretch: sounds like you

Slim: … k i might like da idea o endless syrup n endless weed…

[sarahlwlee]

31 Stories in 31 Days: Family

What is this? As part of celebrating Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month (May), I am writing a story a day about my experiences as a Chinese Malaysian immigrant in America. My friends and family have provided numerous one-word prompts to help me create these stories. Today’s word prompt was contributed by both Gretchen J. and Patricia S. and the word is “Family”. Thank you Gretchen and Patricia for your contribution and thank you everyone who stopped by to read my story today.

I have three types of families in my life: family I was born into by blood, family I chose to be united with, and family who align to a mission.

Family by Blood When I was conceived, I was an unexpected miracle baby that shouldn’t have happened but yet here I was. My mother enjoys telling me this story of how she prayed to God to bless her with another child even though she knew she wasn’t able to conceive after my brother was born because she had her tubes tied due to medical reasons. Before I was born, my parents already had two kids — one age 15 and the other 12.

As the youngest in the family, the old adage that you get the best of everything and you were spoiled is all true. The only thing that felt different for me was during my formative years, I grew up alone and spent a lot of my time with adults. The typical sibling rivalry or arguments that you might hear from siblings, didn’t occur as prominently for me because my siblings were either in college overseas or they were just too busy living their lives as young adults to be at home all the time.

I remember spending a lot of time playing alone, whether it was in a cardboard box that was built to be mini house with window cut outs or bouncing a golf ball off the stairs in the living room to test my hand-eye coordination skills. Other playtime activities included coloring and drawing nonsensical things and seeking my mother’s approval of an artwork well done. When I did spend time with my siblings it was helping me with my homework at school or figuring out music theory.

My sister is ingenious when she was teaching me fractions when I was a young child and applying it to the ever so challenging music theory homework. She used Lego blocks to help me count the numbers and how fractions worked. After awhile she stopped spending time with me and I had to figure out on my own how to do math. This was when I started counting my fingers and toes to help me figure out additions and subtractions. My aunts and my mom use to make fun of my counting technique and offered their toes and fingers as they watched me count off my fingers and toes while trying to solve what seemed like a very complicated addition and subtraction math problem at the time. Eventually, I figured out that I could use my imagination in counting instead of physically counting something.

My brother on the other hand did not have a lot of patience helping me with my homework. I remember crying one time because I couldn’t figure out the math problem (I’m noticing a trend here with math problems…) and he yelled me because it was so simple that I should have been able to figure it out. As I was sobbing tears onto my math homework, I remember he came around and started to try and calm me down to try again. I don’t remember the rest of this memory, however I think that’s when my sister started to work with me on math. I think some of my best memories of my brother was when I was a tween and he was attending university in Kansas. He use to work part-time at a variety of fast food chains delivering food and some of the perks was getting first dibs on toys that were often featured in a Happy Meal. There were so many toys that my mom had to use an empty aquarium to display them all. I played with all of those toys whenever I was left to my own devices and I came up with so many fun imaginary story lines for toy conversations.

Now those toys have moved on to live with my niece and nephew. I am glad it is still in the family instead of the trash. It brought a lot of joy and I created so many great memories of playtime whenever I felt alone at home.

Family by Union One of the best decisions of my life is marrying my best friend, who is now my spouse. We had an unconventional encounter at the time, which was through an online social network that is now no longer in existence. We had a mutual friend that made this connection possible, however we are unable to locate who in our mutual friends circle that led to this chance encounter online. Regardless, it’s the best adventure of my life that I have no regrets.

I have dated a few young men in my past where their families were not welcoming or even accepting my existence. In fact the man I was dating prior to my husband, his mom hated me and said I was just a passing fancy until he finds an appropriate white girl to marry. It was a very strong sign at the time that this wasn’t meant to be. My husband’s family has been the most joy to get to know and welcoming. I feel very fortunate to not have many horror stories about mother-in-law’s or just in-law’s in general. Their kindness, generosity and overall ability to extend their love for me made it so much easier for me to navigate life in Kalamazoo.

When I made that choice to marry someone far away from home, I knew it meant having to build a new life in a strange place where I had no family or friends nearby. I put all my faith into my best friend and his family to be the support structure that would sustain me in this community. There were many difficult moments when I was starting my career in Kalamazoo where I would typically turn to my mother or someone in my family to talk to for guidance. From harassment to being undermined for my identity and navigating the challenges of an economic downturn to compete for employment. It was tough to share some of those difficult moments with my mother because she would always worry about me and she would feel helpless that she couldn’t help me in person or even hug me when I needed it. So I stopped sharing those difficult moments with her and shared it with my mother-in-law who helped encourage me and remind me of the best parts of myself, which helped me survive living in this new community.

I have spent many lunch dates and tea breaks with my mother-in-law, which are really enjoyable and effortless. She helped me understand who she was as a person through so many great stories and also learned a lot about my husband’s childhood. Some of the best stories about my husband has surfaced through these outings and I am always amazed and yet not surprised what an amazing man I’ve married, even with his horns and halos. Much credit is due to her and also to his grandmother for raising a wonderful man I get to call my husband every day.

Family by Mission Most people call this your work family. Work families are a real thing because you do spend so much of your waking hours with people at work, more so than your family at home. Every team I have had the luxury to be a part of has made a significant impression on my life as well as my career trajectory. My very first work family was in Malaysia when I worked part-time in a public relations agency. It was a small team of seven including myself and we worked hard every day. We bonded quickly after I was able to prove my writing skills and deliver on projects in a polished manner. This was my first grown up job and I learned a lot with this work family. They taught me a lot about the night life scene, from karaoke bars to product launches at the hottest bars in downtown Kuala Lumpur. I learned quickly this was not my scene but am thankful that I had co-workers who helped me navigate this experience and made it absolutely enjoyable.

My first work family in Kalamazoo was at the Chamber of Commerce. It was a different dynamic and we had about a dozen employees at the time under the Chamber umbrella as well as half a dozen interns. They helped me navigate the business world in Kalamazoo as part of being an association for businesses as well as understanding some of the inner workings of a nonprofit. I have been very fortunate where the people I work with had very strong work ethic and we put our blood, sweat and tears into everything we produced. It was difficult not to perform at your best because everyone else was giving everything possible to what they were doing and you couldn’t help but step up to the plate. My first mentor and co-worker was the events coordinator at the Chamber. Not only was he a good teacher, he is also a really good friend even today. He helped me navigate the relationships at work and also inspiring me to do better in what we created. I will never forget the band we always wanted to start called Astro Ninjas after a stroke of inspiration through a search online for a band name generator website.

The experience at the Chamber laid the groundwork for me to pursue an amazing opportunity with Greenleaf Hospitality Group. At Greenleaf, I had several work families during the eight years I was there. The corporate marketing team during my tenure had two iterations and both iterations were filled with great laughter, growing pains and creative magic. I have my co-workers in both iterations of the marketing team to thank because they helped shape me as a leader today and also taught me a lot about graphic design that you could probably earn a four-year degree in a short amount of time.

After five years with the marketing team, I transitioned to a marketing role at Wings Event Center and they gave me the opportunity to really blossom in my learning. Not only did I learn about a new industry of stadium management and hockey, I learned what a great working team looks like. My supervisor at the time was really good at getting a team to gel together even with the differences we brought to the table. She taught me how important it was to celebrate team wins over individual wins and shifting a team culture was no small feat. I am grateful for her reflections on leadership during our weekly check-in’s and her grace as well as patience to let me find my way on how to be a better teammate. Of course, she created the environment that made it easier for me to collaborate with our creative team and the subtle, perhaps not so subtle, nudges to keep going.

Today my work family of two years or more is the Kalamazoo Community Foundation. Nowhere have I ever worked with a group of people who care so deeply about the Kalamazoo community and the amount of intelligence that exist under one roof that’s shrouded in such humility. My time here so far has been filled with a lot of lessons about racial equity and barriers in our community that exist because of historical systems. The Kalamazoo Community Foundation has given me the chance to lead an extremely talented Marketing Communications team to accomplish our organization’s mission and also the opportunity to serve as an executive leader on the Strategy & Leadership team. Both of these teams have become my work family of whom I care deeply about and I absolutely love how we help push each other to be better at what we do. Some days those pushes land well and other days it doesn’t, however I love the learning opportunity as well as their patience in sometimes what I describe as fumbling through the journey and mysteriously finding a way to land on my feet with their support.

Overall, I love all my various families in all their forms. I wouldn’t be who I am, or be here, without them. This has given me the opportunity to express deep gratitude for my family and I hope that I can return all the great blessings as well as joy and pass it on to others who haven’t experienced it. Perhaps one day that day will come.

[syrupwit]

Letter for Trick or Treat 2019

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Dear Reader: 

Hello, and welcome to my letter for Trick or Treat 2019. Thank you for considering making a work for me!

The primary purpose of this letter is to provide additional inspiration and creative direction. If it’s not doing that for you, feel free to disregard it.

Navigation:

Do Not Want (DNW)

Long List of Likes

For this exchange, I have requested fic only, Tricks and Treats, for the following fandoms:

Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft

Dishonored

Doom Patrol (TV)

Invader Zim

Marvel Cinematic Universe

The Umbrella Academy (TV)

Here we go...

Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft

It’s various-degrees-of-doomed!narrators -- plus Danforth! Lovecraft is great at the doomed narrator thing. What other sorts of terrible or wondrous things can happen to these seekers after forbidden knowledge?

Characters Requested:

Danforth

The Hound Narrator

Robert Harrison Blake

The Shadow Over Innsmouth Narrator

William Dyer

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: I’m fine with any pairings for this fandom.

Dishonored

It’s creepy whales, trickster gods, and lots of minor characters! This is one of my favorite games of all time. I love the detailed worldbuilding / lore and the many opportunities for filling in backstories and missing parts of canon.

Characters Requested:

Adelle White (yes, the moth from Lady Boyle’s Last Party)

Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster

Daud

Daud’s Mother

The Outsider

Thalia Timsh

Vera Moray | Granny Rags

Waverly Boyle

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: I’m fine with any pairings for this fandom -- seriously, go wild. On a specific note, I’ve recently become fully awakened to the appeal of Billie/Daud, and am intrigued by the idea of Billie Lurk/Thalia Timsh, Adelle White/Waverly Boyle, and Adelle White/Abigail Ames (look, it could work -- the disgraced noblewoman and the ruthless mole, okay?).

Doom Patrol (TV)

It’s Exchange Patrol! This series is so wonderfully chaotic and ridiculous. I love how messed up the characters are + the ways they support and clash with each other, and how it feels like anything can happen.

Characters Requested:

Crazy Jane

Danny the Street

Rita Farr

Cliff Steele

Victor Stone

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: I’m fine with any pairings for this fandom. Gen-wise, I’m really fond of Victor’s relationship with his dad.

Invader Zim

It’s my recently revived obsession, back with a vengeance! After a decade and change, the movie reeled me right back in. I love this canon’s particular brand of dark comedy and pessimism mixed with... uh... zaniness.

Characters Requested:

Dib

Gaz

GIR 

Foodio 3000

Invader Skoodge 

Tak

Countess von Verminstrasser

Zim

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: Dib/Zim | ZaDR is my OTP. I’m also pretty intrigued by the idea of Ms. Bitters/Countess von Verminstrasser. Otherwise, no preferences -- anything is fine.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

It’s the megafandom, or a tiny slice thereof! Since this canon is so darn expansive, I’ll discuss each of these characters separately rather than summarize my interest in the fandom as a whole.

Characters Requested:

Mantis

Mantis! I enjoy her earnestness, her goofier side (“kick names, take ass”; jumping to test the gravity on Titan in Infinity War), and the way her powers’ potential array of uses ranges from tooth-achingly sweet to Thanos-topplingly strong to skin-crawlingly disturbing. I am also a huge, huge sucker for sheltered and socially awkward characters learning to get along with others, and for characters with unhealthy or abusive upbringings coming to terms with the past, and for characters in space exploring space. Basically, though, I’d just like to see more Mantis.

Peter Parker

All iterations of this character have a fond place in my heart, and MCU Peter occupies a particular part of it. I am interested in the pure-hearted hero bit as well as his angstier/darker potential (getting a building dropped on him, getting pushed in front of a train, Mysterio’s illusions, the FFH post-credits scene, the classic Spider-Man backstory that has so far been left untold except through implication).

Flash Thompson

The MCU reinterpretation of Flash as a rich, douchey nerd is very intriguing to me. When he isn’t bullying Peter or playing the butt of a joke, what is he like? ...What do his social media followers actually think of him, anyway?

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: I’m fine with any pairings for any of these characters, though I am also specifically interested in Mantis/Nebula, Mantis/Gamora, Mantis/Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Tony Stark, and Peter Parker/Flash Thompson.

The Umbrella Academy (TV)

It’s the end of the world, probably! I love this show’s tone and the genre trappings and the complicated family/team drama. Just, all of it.

Characters Requested (Any):

Allison Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Number Five | The Boy

Vanya Hargreeves

Hazel

Re: Shipping, If That Interests You: I’m fine with any pairings for this fandom, though I will admit to a particular fondness for Allison/Vanya and Allison/Luther.

Do Not Want (DNW)

Character or ship bashing

Non-canonical permanent major character death, *EXCEPT* for the Cthulhu Mythos

Non-canonical permanent body modification (ex. amputation)

Harm to pet animals (if a giant space squid is attacking the character's ship and they have to fight it or something, that's fine)

Parent/child incest

Non-canonical child characters

Extended discussion of Twelve-Step recovery programs (mentions are fine)

Characters in romantic relationships being written as asexual/aromantic

Smut DNWs: A/B/O, master/slave, heavily ritualized/formal BDSM, bestiality, necrophilia, scat, vore, sounding

Long List of Likes (LLL)

Humor: hijinks; absurdity; surreality; comedy of errors; ludicrous/cracky premises treated seriously or unseriously; Rashomon situations where each character shares their uniquely biased perception of an event; that trope where found documents or outsider POV seriously misinterpret canon events/characters; Ember Island Players trope. 

Horror: dark comedy; gallows humor; fridge horror; Monkey’s Paw situations; parapsychology; mad scientists; witches; ghosts; ghost hunters; cryptids; zombies; THE WALKING DEAD; revenants; cultists; rituals; eldritch beings; dying gods; possession; Dark Carnivals; cursed objects; creepy little shops peddling dubious merchandise; secluded or remote locations; big scary buildings with tragic histories; haunted mansions, ships, spaceships, houses, “haunted house” attractions, hayrides, forests, marshes, beaches, islands, etc.; that trope where you aren’t sure if there was really a supernatural occurrence or if it was a trick of the mind, ooohh scary.

Slice of Life: a day in the life of $character; dealing with the everyday challenges of life in a non-mundane universe; worldbuilding elements; missing moments; domesticity; character studies told through small details.

Action/Adventure: missions/cases and snippets thereof; escaping from captivity together; unusual team-ups; undercover as XYZ; identity porn; road trips of the terrestrial, extraterrestrial, aquatic, and supernatural varieties; space travel; visiting other planets; wilderness survival; climactic warehouse confrontations; wacky foes / locations / circumstances for battles; bar fights; fighting back to back.

Gen Relationships: frenemies; reluctant allies; forced to work together; parent-child or sibling-sibling relationships where things may be complicated but they care about each other deeply in the end even if they’re not always great at expressing it; cooperation, camaraderie, and loyalty between characters; lonely/isolated characters taking steps toward opening up to others.

Romance: first times; get-together; feelings realization; friends to lovers; frenemies to lovers; UST; one-sided pining; mutual pining; flirting where one character doesn’t think the other is serious but they totally are; possessiveness and jealousy where the possessive / jealous character feels guilty or the target of the possessiveness / jealousy is into it; monster on a leash.

Smut: characters feeling overwhelmed; lots of emotions; touch-starved; awkwardness; praise kink; xeno; unexpectedly compatible; kink discovery / exploration; characters being really into their partner or what they’re doing or how into what they’re doing their partner is; “I shouldn’t be so into this”; friends with benefits where both characters are pining but feel more comfortable having sex than talking about their feelings.

Miscellany: holidays; holiday traditions; seasons; weather; thunderstorms; getting caught in the rain; stargazing; appetizing descriptions of food; diners, drive-ins, and dives; tea; candles; cats; metafiction; unconventional formats.