ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE GUYS I PROMISE <- is in the middle of playing a mentally ill character in the middle of a breakdown while in a room alone
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dusted off the frost
leaves in the shape of me
you feel the
leaves off the dust ;
every color in you
my favorite
the music dances in you
i can see
every color
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Once again dropping PCE Lore that no one gives a shit about, but
As someone who acts, fanfiction has helped me a lot. (Possible cw for (fictional) abuse?)
So last night I did a scene where my character is having a conflict with an abusive husband. We fight and then there’s this moment of him dramatically apologizing for the upteenth time, promising to never touch me again, all that, begging my character to take him back.
And it’s film acting, of course we’re checking in with each other between takes, and this sweet guy got so worried bc I turned on the tears during my coverage, and I just like, jumped back into myself and dabbed at him like we’re good, we’re laughing, but the reason i was able to tap into that?
I’ve read everything from the ao3 trifecta of Kyle In Bad Situations. Bellwether, Jwink85, Courtanie. I had Acting On Impulse in the brain (u know I love Stan but DAMN) the whole time, and I channeled that. As someone who has thankfully never been in that place, it can be hard to relate to a character who IS. But as ridiculous as it might sound to someone who doesn’t read shit with characters who are, it helped a lot w the mindset.
I went home after the shoot and cried. My partner thought maybe it didn’t go well or something, but no, I’m just really grateful that I have him, and not someone who turns on a dime like that.
Fanfiction is ultimately an open expression of the human experience. Your life, someone else’s, no one else’s. When it’s real, it means something, to someone.
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the kid who played baby ryan reynolds is in a show with the older brother from diary of a future president, and his dad is alexander hamilton.
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I was trying to give Orin a faceclaim/actor and I literally can’t find anyone that looks remotely similar to them
Maybe they could act as them perfectly; but it’s the looks (all of these actors I’ve looked at are amazing just not giving enough ‘Orin’ vibes </3)
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annual post telling people to stop slandering “kill shelters” as if they want to euthanize healthy animals. stop believing the evil kill shelter narrative and instead consider how bad it would be for the animals if we had no open intake shelters.
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i have such like a love/hate relationship with the naivity that my physicality and (masked) personality portrays to others bc like on one hand it gets me places esp in the industry im in but on the other hand it creates the idea for others that its ok and possible to easily manipulate me because i am young and stupid but i'm not. i see what u are doing.
i love my industry but it hurts to know that these people will only ever see a masked version of me - and in other cases it also helps??? i am very conflicted on these feelings and it creates a sense of confusion that both my body and mind are well used to at this point in my life
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