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you are a piece to a
puzzle that only you complete
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pls all I want for christmas is:
holding my 4.0 gpa
the lead role in my college spring musical
a will to live
passing my finals
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I went on more auditions than dates this year.
life is good
#theatre#acting#theatre kid#musical theatre#idk life is looking pretty good#aint nobody got time for that#I'm not messing around with someones emotionally unstable son when I could be getting paid roles to be a bitch#I love acting
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come home, viktor s1 act 1, the kids miss you
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I am unwell
"Werewolves always had a weakness for silver..."
Says Remus Lupin, looking into Sirius' grey eyes.
#marauders#marauders era#remus lupin#sirius black#sirius x remus#remus x sirius#wolfstar#brb sobbing#crying screaming throwing up
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you were so close to kissing me
and I’m not sure if I had given you the room to if you would have done it
you love him. Not me.
#You will always have a place in my heart#We are not doing this#Girl shut you drunk ass up and go tf to bed#I’m surprised that wasn’t a tag
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oh but you made temptation look so delicious
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It's Alright (r.l x reader)
Professor Lupin x reader (not rlly)
( Fluff, hurt, comfort ) this isn't really a x reader, its more of a tender moment between a student and teacher, remus being the caring professor he would have been if he didn't leave Hogwarts.
trigger warnings: slight mentions of self harm and suicide
~ ~ ~
Remus lupin knew how it felt to be ignored. He knew how it felt to be drowning and screaming into an endless void where no one can hear him. He knew what it was like to always be the therapist but to never have anyone listen to him. As a professor, he tried to pay careful attention to his students, and when those begun to struggle, he would leave little bars of chocolate for them to find on their desks, encouraging notes scrawled on the wrapper. He knew it wasn’t much in his eyes, but to his students, it meant the world to them.
So it wasn’t a surprise when he had begun to catch on with the strange behavior of one of his students
During class he had noticed your vacant stare. How it seemed like too much effort to even lift your quill to take notes. At first he figured that it had been a late night for you. That you had stayed up studying and now faced the consequences. But it wasn’t until he saw the briefest wince at the slightest shift of your arm, as if a fresh wound had rubbed against the fabric of your robes.
Now, Remus had always been taught to look out for the warning sings of depression, but he never thought that he would have to intervene. Of course, depression was always a thing and could happen to anyone. It happened to him after Sirius was sent to imprisonment and when Lily and James passed. So he knew the feeling, and it broke his heart to see one of his students feeling the same way.
You were young. And the world should have been bright for you. He couldn’t imagine what trials you would have been facing to sit in his class with such a vacant stare in your face. One of the things he had looked forward to his classes was seeing your face light up whenever you learned something cool. It inflicted a sense of pride inside of him, that maybe despite his condition, he could lead a normal life as a teacher. Now, he missed that look. He missed the way your eyes would light up- just any sort of emotion that would come from you.
So he made a mental note to check up on you after class.
You didn’t have anything to pack up, yet you remained in your seat. Your chest felt heavy and all of your limbs felt as if they were made of stone. It would take a great deal of energy just to walk out of your dorm. You debated skipping the rest of your classes and lying in the comforting solitude of your darkened room, staring at nothing. But then, a golden beam of light came to you.
Professor Lupin sat down in the desk in front of you, concern filling his dark brown eyes as he watched you, long fingers folded together.
“Y/n,” he said softly.
you gazed at him, “yes, professor?”
“I…” he wet his lips, trying to find the right words, “how are you doing? Are you alright?”
“I am, professor.” The words came out before you could even think. Such a robotic response to the question asked. It was a little more believable than a “I’m fine.” But, something deep down inside of you was beginning to cry out. Something that wished to be let loose. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to dump your problems on someone else. Everyone always had It worse, so why bitch and moan about feeling empty and like a failure? Everyone did. What made you so special and different?
Professor Lupin shook his head, “no, you’re not alright. if you don’t feel comfortable sharing with me what’s going on, that’s alright. You don’t own me an explanation, but please do not lie to me. I care about your wellbeing and your safety.”
But that’s always it isn’t it? You thought. It’s always your well-being and your safety as if you were going to throw yourself out a window at any given moment. Oh no- don’t upset poor y/n or you might drown yourself in the black lake. Don’t critique you too much otherwise you’ll cry.
You didn’t know what you wanted, but that wasn’t it.
You made a move to pick up your bag and leave, your eyes had begun to sting.
“I care about you.” Professor Lupin’s voice was soft and gentle, “and I want you to be okay. I don’t want you to feel so sad.”
“I’m not,” you whispered, “I’m not doing so well.”
you forced herself to look up at him, your eyes swimming with tears. Just seeing his face, hearing his words- it was enough to all at once feel the pain once more.
“What’s going on?”
“I…everything is just too much. The world- life…me. I feel like I’m in this vacant shell and there is this hole inside of me that nothing can fill. Nothing can make me happy and I’m just sinking. The more I try to pull myself out the further I sink down.”
Out of instinct, you pressed the pad of your fingertip to the wound on your arm under the desk, you winced.
“Do you hurt yourself, love?”
You felt embarrassed, ashamed. Everyone managed to keep their motions in check, why couldn’t you? It was stupid, hurting yourself because you either felt too much or couldn’t feel anything. But it wasn’t that. Sometimes, you got so stuck in your head there was so way of coming back. You felt yourself sinking and sinking the pain was the only way to keep you afloat.
“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, voice breaking.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s alright.” Professor Lupin cooed, reaching out to gently grab your arm, “it’s alright you hear me? You have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer this long, you don’t deserve it.”
A tear slipped out from the corner of your eye and rolled down your face. You felt it splatter on your lap.
“I…” your throat was tight and burned. You kept your gaze down on the dark splatter of your lap. You shouldn’t be there. You shouldn’t be crying in front of your teacher like a little kid. You were older now for goodness sake, start acting like it.
Remus cooed softly before he stood up from the desk. You were so sure that he was going to send you to madam promfey to become someone else’s problem, but to your surprise, he hugged you.
He actually hugged you.
You were swept up in a warm embrace, his long arms curled around you as if he was going to protect you from the world’s hurt. He carefully rested his cheek on the top of your head, whispering quietly as more tears fell past your eyes and ran down his bare wrist.
You ached, and your heart yearned. You shut your eyes for the briefest of moments and tried to revel in the tender moment, of feeling….loved.
It wasn’t the kind of love that was lustful and vain. It wasn’t the kind of love that was mistaken by infatuation, or the kind that was withheld at every given moment, or the type to be earned. This kind…was tender. It was tender and pure and it came from someone who cared about her. It wasn’t feigned or because they had to care. It was because he wanted to care about you.
When her tears finally dried, he pulled away, kneeling down to face you.
“Listen, I’m here for you, okay? One of the worst aspects of depression is how it convinces you that you are alone. i never want you to feel that way again, okay?”
You nodded, rolling your lip between your teeth as you played with your hands in your lap.
“You can always come to me, as a friend or a teacher. And it doesn’t have to be about what’s going on. If you don’t feel like being alone or need a place to breathe, my office always welcomes you, alright?”
you nodded again, this time a small bashful smile creeping on your face.
Professor Lupin gave you a soft smile before he reached up and gently wiped away a stray tear on your cheek.
“How do you feel?”
“Better.” And this time you weren’t lying.
He nodded before standing up, a soft grunt coming from him as he stretched out his legs. “Atta girl, now get to class.”
You smiled wider this time as you picked your bag up and begun to head out the door.
“Y/n?” Professor Lupin called out.
You peaked over your shoulder, hand pressed against the door to go.
“I’m very proud of you.” Remus smiled at you.
~ ~ ~
If you or anyone you know is experiencing thoughts about sucicide, self harm, or experiencing any kind of depression, anxiety, please know that help is always available. There are numerous recourse on the internet to help you get the help that you need.
Keep going my strong, and brave warriors. The world may not be kind but you certainly are and we want you to stay. I promise you there will be a day where you won’t feel like this anymore.
Warmest hugs and gentle kisses,
Portia
#remus lupin#remus x reader#remus x you#moony#remus x y/n#remus john lupin#the marauders x reader#please take care of yourselves#you are loved#you are worthy#you matter
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‼️‼️
Palestine is NOT a trend. boycotting Israel-supporting companies is NOT a trend. your compassion for the innocent is NOT a trend. isreal was, is and WILL continue killing Palestinians and bombing Gaza for as long as the world is silent. do not stop talking about it. do not stop boycotting. never. stop.
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people only like lesbians in theory. and men are only acceptable of it because "its hot" seeing two women kiss each other. I am tired for either being sexualized for who I love in order to be socially accepted or being hated on for who I love.
#lesbian problems#wlw#lesbian#lesbian community#sapphic#why is the only way to be accept is to be sexualized by men for their own fantasized pleasures? its gross
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If I don't have a pretty girl pressing her boobs against my boobs anytime soon I might actually comit arson
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And I don’t even know what she looks like anymore. Yet the thought of her 14 year old face still makes my stomach turn in a way nothing else can
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holding up the world with no one to hold me up
what’s happens if I stop
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Can I ever be as wonderful as you are
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my house is full of ghosts.
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