#i lost my voice because i sang it so many times once

[cocolacola]

me posting only fandom stuff and reblogs for one day: my poor fans. they dont even know my lore

[katuschka]

His Sugar-Dusted Skin – Part 1

Jake Kiszka x reader 5.639 words (Part 1)

So, After some consideration, I decided to split this one in two, because a) I promised to post it this weekend and it's not finished yet, and b) it might me too long. December's been a bit chaotic and as I said before, I've been struggling a bit with this one. So let me know what you think. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): alcohol consumption and heavy intoxication, mentions of the death of a close person (retrospective), allusions to a potentially promiscuous behaviour, some strong language, the twins being assholes (kind of... they're still cute), Jake's happy trail, I think that's it for now...

Oh, life…

How ordinary and boring it can get when you stick to thinking that there aren’t any other options. As far as I remember, conformity never made sense to me. And as far as I remember, I was being raised and forced to embrace it. My mind surrendered for a while, but my vagrant soul just kept resisting. I never wanted to fit in. I always wanted to fly.

When I left home three years ago, I didn’t take much with me. My parents didn’t approve of my choices and the only person who would’ve supported me in my decisions was already gone. My beloved grandma. She was the disruptive force that kept me on my toes, always challenging me in the most loving way, knowing too well that it was exactly what I needed. She gave me my first guitar, too. Even though sclerosis made her homeward-bound, her dreams and fantasies always kept her wandering. I loved that. She was always there to spark my imagination and in return, I wanted to be her legs and eyes one day. When I was little, my friends used to call her fairy godmother. “Keep your sails up sweetheart, the wind is whimsical.” That’s what she used to say. “All you need is that air in your lungs and love in your heart.” 

“You must never leave me, oma,” I said to her once. “I need that love in my heart forever.”

“Someone else will fill it, darling,” she replied. “I’m only here to make sure it is open. But one day, you won’t need me anymore.”

When she died, I lost my only reason to stay there. The world was slowly getting to its feet again and it was my turn to do the same. I had dreams that simply couldn’t be fulfilled at home. My heart was aching for adventure. So I packed my bags, just like they sing in old songs, slung my guitar over my shoulder and hit the road. A vagabond chick. 

As I came to Tennessee, all I owned could fit in my barely drivable car: literally just a few dresses, my phone, my modest savings, my old six string, my treasured voice and THE recipe. Aaaah, those were the days…

Who am I kidding? It was pretty rough at first. VERY rough, to be honest. I cried many nights. But the one thing my parents had taught me was to save money, and that helped me survive the first months, when I waited tables during the day and sang my ass off after dark. 

Many people never make it. Hell, even though I’m an optimist, I have to admit that most don’t. If you’re not strong willed and immune to shit, you’re most certainly destined to fail. I’ve seen way too many extra talented and broken people on my journey, just because they were too nice or too naive. Well, I’m not naive, but I’m definitely not a cold bitch either. I think I just got lucky, because I had my guardian angel with me the whole time. When she was still walking on earth, she absolutely loved the Beatles, With a Little Help from My Friends being her favorite song. My childhood memories are filled with those songs and how she sang along, and I believe that it was her doing that eventually turned this tune into the soundtrack of my life. I met a lot of fantastic people on my arduous journey towards my goals and dreams, and that’s how I got by. 

As a token of my gratitude, I baked cookies for them. My grandma’s famous linzer cookies. THE recipe. Fast forward a few years, I still keep doing that at Christmas. Apart from the fact that my friends simply demand it, it’s also my way of keeping her alive, to make myself feel like she’s still here with me… in a way. 

Back home, the whole neighborhood loved her art of baking. Me being her only granddaughter, she literally forced me to learn how to bake those linzer cookies – her own recipe, to be precise. Every time I rolled my eyes, while making annoyed noises, blowing raspberries and just being a little asshole about it in general, she simply smiled and said that one day I’ll thank her. Why – I asked – and she responded that one day it would bring me love. “Love goes through the stomach, my dear. Look at your grandpa. See how huge it is?” And then he smiled and kissed her hair and it always made me believe her.

Except it didn’t happen. At least not yet. It – however – gave me a semblance of home that I consciously chose not to have, but sometimes missed. 

Just last year, I decided to continue with the tradition my grandma  started back at home. “Love is a reciprocal game, my dear,” she said. “You get what you give, but do not lose yourself in giving.” 

They want my sweets? Fine! But let them show me how much. They have to “earn” it. At the beginning of December, I give my friends custom-made Christmas greetings, and if they want to receive their own little box of cookies, they have to send back a card of their own making. The first time was a success, and I ended up baking sweets for eleven people. And it didn’t stop there, as it earned me nine bottles of wine, a flacon of my favorite perfume and  a ukulele. All I really wanted was a thank you, but hey! I won’t say no to wine! So I decided to do it again, and this time I received seventeen cards, including three “masterpieces” from the members of the infamous Greta Van Fleet! Yeah, that’s right. While I still feel like I’m barely making it sometimes, I move in high-ish circles. El-oh-el. 

I met Daniel first, through a mutual friend, at one of the music clubs we frequented. He was actually one of the eleven buddies that helped me restart this Christmas tradition. Later I learned that he selflessly shared his portion with the rest of the group during a rehearsal he went to right after he dropped by at my place, and that’s how I got invited to one of their semi-private dinners. Dan kindly introduced me as “Joni”, which earned me two “woos” and one ironic smirk. To be fair, I didn’t like it either. It actually made me cringe, because the woman is an unattainable role model, but it was just Daniel being himself, aka the nice guy. Bless his soul. 

I went from an acquaintance with useful skills to a drinking buddy, because I’m good at that too. One of my less admirable strengths, but there are times when it comes in handy. Especially when a Johnny Depp wannabe from Middle-earth wants to outsmart you…

A year flew by and it was time to extend my offer to Sam and Josh, who made sure I wouldn’t forget them. Don’t ask me how. The video they sent me definitely had the potential to go viral. I wholeheartedly appreciate how much they trust me not to do that. 

They wouldn’t stop there, though. I had to laugh when I received their own precious hand drawn contributions. How sweet. They’re all so sweet actually… well, all except Jake. Aloof, taciturn and arrogant, that’s how he rolls. I’m pretty sure he just can’t stand me, because while he often laughs with others, he only ever laughs at me. His opinion on my baking goes hand in hand with what he thinks about my playing, preferring darker and more spicy shit, as he once put it. Well, whatever. He’s a colossal prick. 

It’s quite unfortunate that I’ve also had a colossal crush on him for quite some time now. As I said, I’m a vagabond chick, and he happens to possess all the right shit to lure me. Like a moth to a flame. And I got burned. 

See, oma? Not working. 

Well, I’m not the one to cry over guys, so I’m not going to lose my sleep over that. He can go fuck himself. (Someone else can do it. I swear he needs it.). 

Seventeen packages meant I was going to spend most of the Friday evening as well as the whole Saturday slaving in my kitchen. Thankfully, I really do enjoy doing this, so it’s simply an essential part of Christmas festivities. A good time spent with me, myself and Ella Fitzgerald. It’s still quite a lot of work though. 

Friday was just about making dough. It might seem easy, but you need to understand that in order to make enough cookies for 17 (!) people, I needed more than 5 lbs of flour, 3 lbs of butter, nearly 24 ounces of sugar, 23 egg yolks and zest from 6 lemons! I will say no more to protect the family secret, but you can see it takes a lot of effort just to put this all together. I take this very seriously. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

It had to be perfect. 

But alas! I couldn’t have known that one malicious and horny sprite who wanted me to spoil him with my art of baking was also going to sabotage my efforts in the most peculiar way. 

Once finished, I covered the dough with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to let it rest overnight before I hopped in the shower to wash off the sweaty sugar crust that seemed to stick to every inch of my exposed skin. It was almost midnight when I finally managed to climb in bed, pleasantly exhausted and happy, only to be woken up by a frantic doorbell noise at around two am. A normal person would just freak out in such a situation, but knowing who that might be, I was already pretty much used to it as I lived nearest to their favorite bar. Our favorite bar, to be precise. 

Over time, they came to an agreement that my tiny apartment was a perfect place for nightcaps, the only problem being that the Kiszkas were usually quite loud about it, completely ignoring the fact that I had neighbors. Thankfully, this part of town is a bit specific in a sense that the said neighbors simply didn’t give a shit, with their own lifestyle not being much different. 

This is what I wanted. Friends, late night laughs, my life filled with music and hugs and kisses and peculiar outcomes of unpredictable events that could only lead to more hugs and kisses. 

There was this one time when Josh fell asleep on my couch while the others simply sneaked away giggling and left him there, spread-eagled and snoring his uvula off. Several hours later, I was woken up by the delicious smell of buttermilk waffles, served with maple syrup and a guilty, puppy dog stare. 

Simply put, they were (almost) always welcome here. Almost…

Sober, sleepy and disoriented, I was definitely in no mood for a late night party (or an early morning one… seriously Josh, wtf!), with all the baking lying ahead of me. I didn’t even have to guess if it was really them; I could already hear them the moment my heart calmed down a bit and I stepped out of my bedroom. Determined to chase them away with a rolling pin, I answered the door angrily and was nearly knocked down by the falling Oliver Reed who obviously decided to lean against it the very moment I yanked it open. 

It’s always intrigued me how the brain works in these situations, working so fast that the time seems to slow down to an almost comical pace. I watched in slow motion how his back slid against the wood, his arms flapping in the air in a futile attempt to regain balance. I could tell at the first fleeting glance that he wasn’t fit to keep his balance standing, let alone falling, so no wonder it was a completely lost cause. Some voice at the back of my skull tried to tell me to jump aside, but I was too mesmerized by the sight. Just when his shoulder hit me clumsily in the chest and I stumbled backwards, Josh finally managed to grab Jake’s arms to keep him from knocking me down completely. My rolling pin fell on the wooden floor with a loud bang that made my neighbor’s dog bark. Jake, now aggressively pinned against the corridor wall by Josh, only added to the ear-piercing nocturnal cacophony with his loud howls: “Whoa whooooa!” 

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, Jake!” Josh hissed through his teeth before he turned his concerned stare back at me. “Y/N, sweetheart, terribly sorry hun! Didn’t mean too…” I could tell that he was tipsy as well, but it paled in comparison with the state Jake was in. I had seen him drunk many times before, with his glossy, beady eyes and unfocused stare that always made him look a bit like a teddy bear. This was new, though. He seemed absolutely plastered. 

Out of the imminent danger, but with my heart still wildly pumping adrenaline-enriched blood into my veins, I grabbed the doorframe first to support myself before I tried to make sense of what was just happening in front of me. 

They weren’t alone. Right behind Josh stood a guy whom I had seen a few times before, but I couldn’t recall his name. He looked slightly uncomfortable. “What the fuck, Josh!?!” I hissed. 

Josh immediately tried to win me over with the most sheepish smile he could muster, but his involuntarily cocked eyebrow betrayed him, which only made me more furious. “Dearest Y/N, we need your help, baby!” 

“With what? I asked incredulously. 

“I need you to take care of my asshole brother, pretty pleeeease.” 

“You what?” I goggled at him, completely taken aback by his impudent request. “Why can’t you just take him home?” Much to Jake’s annoyance, we kept discussing him and his imminent future as if he wasn’t even there, which only resulted in another outburst of his loud and incoherent babbling and our collective attempt to shush him before Josh answered.

“Because, I am not planning on going home, honey,” he whisper-shouted, hoping that I would just get it without him having to be too obvious. Yeah, I got it. It didn’t mean I was willing to help him. I looked at the guy again, who suddenly pretended to be very interested in the hallway lights. At that moment, the owner of the barking dog opened his own door to passionately inform us what we all were. I had no other choice than to hastily usher them all in.

“You can’t leave him here just like that? Are you out of your mind? Is this some kind of retribution for what he did the last time? Because it’s not funny. This is my home, and not a fucking sobering center! Just call him an uber,” I continued to protest once we were all safely inside my apartment, and that’s when Jake chimed in for the first time with something that made at least a bit of sense: “Yeah, ah-don’ wanna…,” he hiccupped before he could finish the sentence, making me even more incensed with the whole situation. He quickly tried to amend it, but it was too late. I was seething, my nostrils flaring. “...bother-er. Ah-don’ wanna bother-er! She’s…fierssshe!” he spat in Josh’s face, making him scrunch his face in disgust. 

“Well, you should have thought about not bothering people before you got so shitfaced,” Josh spat back, completely ignoring what I just said. “This is your doing.”

What? I shot a deadly stare at Josh. No, it was absolutely not Jake’s doing that they were now standing in my living room. And regardless of the fact that I had work to do – and he knew that – he also knew how I felt about Jake, and was now putting me in a very uncomfortable position. “Out! All of you!” 

I’m pretty sure I must have looked like Wrath personified, because Jake whoa’ed again and Josh seemed to finally acknowledge his misconduct. He grabbed my hands in his, suddenly looking like a meek puppy. “I’m sorry, babe. Don’t be mad, hun. I know this is too much to ask, but do this for a friend. I beg you…”

“No, I beg you Josh!” I tried to sound as calm and collected as possible through my gritted teeth, knowing that being just mad would get me nowhere. Josh was too stubborn to ever acknowledge someone else’s anger and boundaries meant nothing to him once you became his friend, which basically meant family. However, he was empathetic. “You know I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow. I’m tired. Just please, take him home.”

Josh bit his lip and he looked like he was trying to say something and NOT say it at the same time. It was late and I felt awfully tired, but the whole thing seemed a bit fishy to me. Just when Josh nodded and finally opened his mouth to respond, Jake grabbed his shoulder. “Ah need to pee, Jawshy boy,” he whined and swayed dangerously, pouting his lips at his twin brother. He was already in his teddy bear phase which meant that he indeed wasn’t fit to be sent home alone in an uber. He’d be knocked out in no time, and even if Josh went with him, he’d have a hard time just getting him out of the car. 

Josh glanced sideways at the guy, who had been pretending to be invisible the whole time, and then looked at me pleadingly again. I capitulated. “OK, take that big baby to the bathroom and I’ll fetch some blankets,” I sighed. 

Together, they helped Jake get comfy on the couch and he fell asleep before his head even touched the pillow. And me? I felt relieved when I finally closed the door behind them and everything became quiet again, disturbed only by Jake’s light snoring.

They were taking their time, so once I fixed the makeshift bed, it was just me and the guy standing in the middle of the room, waiting, and it was getting increasingly awkward with each passing second. “So, you’re Y/N,” he finally spoke.

“Yeah,” I answered curtly, confirming the obvious. “We’ve met.”

“But we weren’t properly introduced yet. I’m Martin.” I shook Martin’s hand politely without really wanting to, because I knew that if they were heading to his place instead of Josh’s, it probably meant that the chances I’d see Martin again were quite low. Yet another reason for me being annoyed. 

I poured him a large glass of water, squeezed some fresh lemon juice into it and placed it carefully on a small table right next to his head before I switched off the light, leaving just a small table lamp on, and went back to my bed, hoping to spend the rest of the night in peace and get some much needed rest. 

However, the fact that there was Jacob Kiszka, Sir, lying unconscious on my couch right outside my bedroom door, made it a bit difficult to fall back to sleep. I had never been in a situation like this and it made me feel unpleasantly agitated. I wasn’t afraid of him. I just didn’t trust my own feelings. 

I should have been angry. 

But I was not. Not exactly. Not anymore. My heart wasn’t beating wildly out of annoyance. Instead, I felt like a schoolgirl, trapped in an elevator with that annoying boy from music class who was also her crush. There were many conflicting feelings inside both my head and chest; and knowing that he probably wouldn’t remember how he ended up on my couch come morning only made it all worse. 

I finally dozed off, but morning came sooner than I wished it would, and with it a headache. It felt like just a brief moment, filled with restless dreams about me and Jake dancing on the rooftop to Golden Slumbers playing out of nowhere, with sugar snowing down at us and our hands sticky with jam. Then he smeared some on my cheek and peppered it with kisses…

When I opened my eyes, the feeling still lingered, like powdered sugar on the top of my tongue. Soft and weightless like snowflakes, yet it lay heavily on my chest. Together with the lack of rest, it made me feel almost hungover-ish. I lied unmoving for a while, listening to the silence that surrounded me and wondering whether he was still there. Maybe he already woke up earlier and quickly sneaked out after realizing where he was. 

It was unlikely, but I could hardly ever control these self-deprecating thoughts. Especially regarding men. I cursed Josh once again and decided to take a quick cold shower to wake up my senses.

It helped only just a bit. Refreshed, I opened my bedroom door carefully and peaked inside the living room. He was still there, and fast asleep. Slowly, I creeped up on him on my tiptoes, and then spent several long seconds just watching him sleep, before I started to feel like a complete lunatic. But… he looked so peaceful and almost angelic in the milky morning light, lying on his side with his hands folded under his chin, his lips parted and brows relaxed. The glass was empty, and I couldn’t help but smile involuntarily. Once there was a way to get back homeward…

Then I remembered that this was no domestic idyl. I just had a drunk rock guitarist on my couch, and – let’s be brutally honest here – once I got past that dreamy visual illusion, a strong olfactory reminder of this much more prosaic reality hit my nostrils. 

I also had several large chunks of dough in the fridge and a debilitating headache that almost made me question all my life choices.

No, it didn’t.

But all those things had to be taken care of and I had no idea how. I tried to be as quiet as a mouse at first, but after realizing that it could take at least a couple more hours before he’d wake up, maybe even half a day – the time that I couldn’t afford to waste – I took Josh’s previous advice and decided to just ignore him. 

I really needed coffee… to get the stupid dream, and the song, and all my delusions out of my head. Did I forget that he was also a big-headed asshole? Yeah, that’s the spirit. 

It turned out that my worries were groundless anyway. I could make as much noise as possible in my adjacent kitchenette and he wouldn’t even stir. The motherfucker really seemed to be losing his hearing from standing in front of those huge amplifiers and the malicious creature inside my chest chuckled at the thought. 

I took the dough out of the fridge and let it soften at room temperature while I made myself some coffee and started to get everything ready. Clanking of baking sheets, coffee grinder, squeaking cabinet doors…nothing seemed to disturb my sleeping beauty. I kept casting wary glances at him every now and then at first, but soon I got accustomed to the unusual situation and just immersed myself in my work. 

I had my very elaborate system. I could fit twenty cut pieces – meaning ten cookies – on one sheet, there was roughly enough dough for approximately thirty sheets, it takes ten minutes to bake AND I had only four sheets. You can see I had to be very systematic. Preparation is the key and every minor disturbance could be disastrous. Thankfully, I’m a master multitasker. Still, I prayed to all the known and yet to be made-up deities that nothing would happen. No more surprises, please and thank you. 

A few hours passed and the delicious aroma of lemon and vanilla started to fill the room. I was also sweating like a pig, rolling and cutting the dough in haste, always making sure I had enough sheets ready so that there would be no idle time. Focused on the task ahead, I didn’t hear him stir, and my heart jumped in my throat when I finally looked up and saw those beady eyes watching me intently. 

I tried to keep my cool, looking down again quickly. “Well, good morning,” I mumbled. It was almost midday. 

“Morning, Y/N…,” he choked out huskily and finally tried to stand up, which only resulted in him groaning in pain and slumping back immediately. Oh yeah, consequences…

“Do you remember how you got here?” I asked tentatively. 

“I wish I could say I do, but to be honest, I’ve no idea,” he breathed out with his eyes closed. “I was just hanging out with Josh and the next thing I know I’m lying on your couch at blue hour, feeling half dead.” He finally opened at least one eye, just enough to be able to see me.

I nodded and continued cutting the dough. I wasn’t going to make it any easier for him. The timer just chimed and I had to switch the sheets anyway. 

“So?” 

Did I just hear annoyance and impatience in his voice? Oh yeah, a hungover asshole is still an asshole. It shouldn’t have surprised me. “What?” I spat back over my shoulder.

“Care to explain what the fuck I’m doing here?” 

I don’t understand how he always managed to just smash all my buttons with one single blow, and once again he made me see red. I literally threw the next sheet in the oven and slammed the door shut with a loud bang before I turned around and lashed out at him. 

“Oh I wish I knew the answer. Be so kind and ask your precious brother who literally just pushed you through my door in the middle of the night, half-conscious and reeking of whisky, because he wanted to get laid. You’re welcome! Fucker…”

He blinked a few times, obviously taken aback. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” The tone of his voice changed and for a split second I almost regretted my curtness. Almost. “Just let me call an uber and I’ll be out of here in no time,” he mumbled, checking his pocket, while I watched him struggle with secret satisfaction. That headache must have been hellish. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one. 

He suddenly frowned and started rummaging in all his pockets frantically, including the jacket haphazardly thrown over the armrest. “Where the hell is my phone… and my valet… and my fucking keys. Y/N…did you take my stuff?” 

“What? No! The last thing I’d wanna do would be to prevent you from leaving.”

We were watching each other warily, both equally confused. Then it dawned on him. “I’m gonna kill that scrawny little bastard!” Straightening up, he closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to fight off his growing nausea as well as the rage that made his nostrils flare. 

My anger dissipated in an instant… or, to be more precise, it was instantly redirected towards his twin. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that? He knows how busy I am today,” I whined. 

Jake didn’t respond. Instead, he asked for my phone. I quickly dialed Josh’s number and handed it to Jake, because the timer chimed again. 

It went straight to voicemail. 

As I was stacking freshly baked pieces on a tray placed on the small kitchen island which also served as my dining table, Jake leaned against it right opposite to me, looking absolutely miserable. “What now?” 

Am I their mother or what? I couldn’t drive him, but even if I did, he still didn’t have his keys. I couldn’t even call him an uber to Josh’s, because I knew that scrawny little bastard wasn’t there. It became obvious that Jake was stuck with me for at least another couple hours. He kept watching, obviously still waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I just sighed and grabbed the rolling pin again, aggravated with both of them and feeling like their hostage, stuck in the middle of their infantile games. The time was ticking, with my perfectly planned schedule already disrupted.

“Let me at least help you,” he looked at me hopefully with those puppy eyes they both shared. Fuckers. Seriously. Quirks of the mischievous nature that at one point decided that one of them wasn’t enough. 

“I think you should take a shower first.”

It was a deliberate jab, and I expected him to retort back just like he always did. I did NOT expect him to widen his eyes in genuine horror. “Is it that bad?” 

I didn’t dare answer that question but my face betrayed me when I looked at him sideways and bit my lip. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and took one tentative whiff. “Oh my god, it is. I think I need more than a shower, actually. I smell as if I slept in a puddle of beer.” 

I immediately regretted that I let him sleep on my couch, but he looked completely bashful and embarrassed and my previous unwillingness to continue helping him was already in shambles.

“Ok,” I sighed and put down the cookie cutter. “Come with me. I have some spare sweatpants. Thankfully, my ass is just as big as yours, but it might be a bit too tight around the waist…”

“Excuse me?” he protested, but otherwise obediently followed me into my bedroom. 

“You’re right. My mistake. Yours is bigger,” I chuckled at my own joke while rummaging in my drawer, before throwing him a pair of my favorite grey sweatpants, an old, oversize flannel shirt and a clean towel. “Everything else you might need is in the bathroom. The washing machine’s down in the basement.” 

“Thank you. Uummm…do you, perhaps, have a spare toothbrush? For friends... and such?” He smiled cheekily, testing my patience once again. But to be fair, he couldn’t have known that there was a shortage of “and such” people ever since I met him, because I just wasn’t interested in anyone else for a while now. 

“Yeah, there’s a couple of them in the purple cabi… oh fuck!” I quickly excused myself, alarmed by the smell of something burning, because I forgot to set the timer…

Too busy trying to stave off the impending disaster in my kitchen, I barely noticed him sneaking around me on his way down to the basement. So, when he knocked on the door a moment later and I answered it, the sight in front of me threw me completely off-guard. Being no stranger to Jake’s exposed chest, there was a strange sense of novelty in seeing him in my own unbuttoned shirt. Paul started singing inside my head again, but only until my eyes involuntarily slid further down, putting the song to an abrupt stop, just like a torn magnetic tape.

I was right about the waist being too tight, which meant he had it pulled down well below his navel, and seeing his happy trail made me scream internally. 

And to top it all off, he still had the towel wrapped around his head. 

I was not prepared for the feral reaction he suddenly elicited deep inside my body, and I’m sure he noticed, judging by the cocky half-smile that followed. I quickly turned away before I would compromise myself further. 

“I made you some coffee,” I nodded towards the steaming cup waiting for him on the counter, while still not daring to look directly at him again. “... and there are some popsicles in the freezer.”

“Thank yo… popsicles?!?” I might as well have suggested cotton candy, judging by the look he gave me, making me feel like an idiot,  so I quickly explained: “Yeah, they’re perfect when you wanna get rid of a hangover. Orange’s my favorite.” I still felt like an idiot. 

“I’m feeling better now.” His tone was kind and friendly, for which I was grateful, and I could hear him smiling, with my eyes still fixed on the small yellow circles in front of me. “I think I’m getting a bit hungry, though.”

“I’m not cooking anything now, Jake!” I placed the last little yellow circle on the sheet with care, before I started kneading another chunk of dough frantically.

“No, I didn’t mea…”

“There’s instant ramen on the top shelf.”

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Yeah, whatever.”

“What are YOU going to eat, Y/N?”

“I don’t have time for such luxuries right now…”

“Y/N!” He was leaning against the counter desk right in front of me again. I hadn’t even noticed him sneaking so close again, so his sudden exclamation made me jump. “You have to eat something. Look, your hands are shaking.” 

Yeah, no shit. But I’m not exactly hungry. There was a huge lump in my stomach, making it quite full. I was getting lost in the sea of my conflicting feelings again when all of the sudden, he put an abrupt stop to it like a fierce wave that sent me crashing on the shore, as he lifted my chin up gently with his index and middle finger. “Look at me, Y/N. I am going to fix us a quick lunch, ok?” 

“Ok…,” I peeped meekly. 

Jake just nodded, bound his damp, uncombed hair in a makeshift low bun with the band he always wore on one his fingers just in case, and started rummaging in my fridge. “Allrighty then! What do we have here…,” he crooned cheerfully.

And just like that, Paul was back… lalalalala.

To be continued...

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @josh-iamyour-mama @lyndz2names @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickittty @clownstarr @gretasfallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @psychedelectable @allof--mylove @sacredsparrow @hearts-hunger

[rainstops]

fading remembrence

4nemo x reader

TW: reader dies (the cause of the death is a little detailed in ventis part), hinting at suicide in kazuhas part

info: for scaramouche, both wanderer and scaramouche is used

summary: you die right in front of the anemo boys, and they cannot seem to accept your death, because with your death it also felt like they lost their own life. you were their light.

a/n: wrote this in the middle of the night, while putting down my switch for two hours. also i will start to write for zelda totk/botw soon!!

whenever xiao ordered almond tofu at any restaurant, it always tasted the same. even when he cooked it himself. it always had the same taste. the tofu being as bland as tofu usually is, and the dish tasting sweet and like almonds. just what you would expect almond tofu to be. nothing more and nothing less.

but when you appeared in his life, xiao found out you liked cooking. and when you found out that almond tofu was his favorite dish, you immediately went out of your way to learn how to make almond tofu. knowing that xiao ate it a lot, you asked him if he could taste it. xiao did what you asked him to. but what he didnt expect was that the almond tofu tasted different. not in a bad way, but whenever you cooked it, it tasted like you had put your emotions onto a plate. like a little piece of joy, you served xiao. it was the first time, xiao could for sure say that he enjoyed something. but the word 'enjoy' did not feel like it was enough to describe the way he felt. he loved the dish, he loved how skilled you were at cooking it, but most of all, he loved you. and you loved him too. you loved him as long as you could. you loved him, before the passing of time took your life. xiao loved you a lot longer than just that. he loved everything about you. he loved the way you would smile at him, because you gave him a different smile you gave your friends, your family or strangers. when his immortality kept him right where he was, he realized how frozen in time he felt. for you everything moved on so quickly, and soon it was over. xiaos days remained the same old and blank routine before you showed up, and it returned to being the same when you left. but after your death, everything seemed to be so heavy. his eyelids, his arms, his legs, his head, but especially his heart. he searched all across teyvat, for a person, a restaurant or anyone, who could cook almond tofu the exacty way you did. he wanted to taste it again, even if it was just once more. he despaired when he couldnt find a way to make his favorite dish taste the way you made it taste, but his whole world crumbled only then, when he realized he couldnt remember how it tasted. he stopped counting the days and the nights he spend living, because why would it matter if he was slowly forgetting you?

he used to do it, so he could remember your birthday, or your anniversary, or any day that was special to you. but now you were gone, and xiaos memories were leaving as well.

☂

venti wrote many songs in his life. many of them telling stories, but just as many of them just there to sound pretty. but then when you showed up, he had someone to write songs for. he wrote them about you, and for you. and you sang the songs together. venti loved your voice. your voice was the best part of his songs. to him, it sounded like an angels voice.

not only your singing voice, but your voice in general. it made his heart beat so fast, it nearly sprang out of his chest. whenever you greeted him with a smile on your face, it was like all his worries and problems disappeared into thin air.

maybe he took it for granted. maybe he expected to be able to wake up everyday and sing in the kitchen with you while preparing breakfast together. maybe he just thought you could sing him to sleep every night.

well it so happened that that was not the case.

a member of the fatui took your life, and your angelic voice right with it. venti was there. venti was there, when the knife of the fatui found your back. the next moments were a mere blur to venti. he remembers getting rid of the fatui, and in the following moments, he held you in his arms, pleading to be able to hear your voice again.

he mumbled something along the lines of healing you, but you told him that it was too late. it was you who spoke those words, with the voice he loved so much. you lifted a hand to his cheek, and said the three words he loved hearing from you so much. a tear left his eye and fell right under your eye, on your cheek, making it look like it was a tear of your own. he held you in his arms tightly, like it could prevent you from leaving the world.

that was when you spoke your last words. 'thank you' they were. thank you? what were you thanking him for?

your eyes closed, and the smile you had on your face the last moments before your death left. your hand slowly sank from his face, and he held your hand. your hands were usually cold, but this time it bothered him. this time it felt like it was only pointing towards your death.

☂

the wanderer never held much appreciation for the people around him. that was until you came around. it was like you could see right through him, and his facade. like you could see the way he crumbled on the inside, not knowing how to handle his own emotions.

he loved the way you held his hand. your warm hand felt very relaxing against his usual cold one. often you would play with them as well. whenever he was having an especially hard day, because some people kept annoying him, you'd sit down with him. his head in your lap while you were massaging one of his hands. you'd listen carefully as he talks about the people that would annoy him throughout the day. at the end, you would give him a kiss on the forehead. although often enough he'd already been asleep by then.

but you seemed to know him better than he knew himself. you knew what he needed and when he needed it. whenever he was about to explode from anger, you hugged him, since you seem to very well know, that all the anger is build up from all the things that happened to him.

a tear fell as you held scaramouche close to you. one hand around his body, and the other on the back of his head, as his head was resting on your shoulder. the tears were wetting your shoulder but you didnt mind. you would do anything to make scaramouche happy again.

another tear fell, another one, and another one. but this time it was the day you died.

with widened eyes you dropped to the floor on your knees, scaramouche caught you before you could drop to the floor. a singular tear fell from your eye as well.

scaramouche held your body tightly against his, as if you would disappear if he would let go. in this scenario, this was the case, but no matter how close he'd hold you, there was nothing he could do.

he held you the way you did it, everytime he was upset. with an arm around your body, and a hand on the back of your head, while your head was laying against his shoulder.

'i cant breathe scaramouche. im scared'

were the last words you spoke, before your eyes slowly closed.

scaramouche had never cried that much in his life. not when he was betrayed so often, not when his mother threw him out like he was nothing, and not whenever you would comfort him.

scaramouches chest filled with regret. he wishes he would have been there for you at least as much as he was there for you. he wishes he bought you more presents for even just putting up with him. he wishes he wouldve just gotten over his ego and thanked you. he would do all those things and so much more, just so he could repay you.

☂

you remember the day so cleary, when kazuha confessed his love to you. his usually so casual demeanor was all gone, as his hands were shaking while holding a piece of paper. his face was bright red and his voice was shaking and cracking up, as he recited his self written poem for you. when he was done he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

when you started giggling he thought you were laughing at him. he didnt dare to look up at you, his gaze was only burning holes into the floor.

but when he really tensed up was when you jumped at him and threw your arms over his shoulders.

ever since then, kazuha had written so many poems for you, and you had stored them all very carefully. one after another.

one time for his birthday, you tried writing him one, and although it wasnt the best, he treasured it like nothing else.

but also he treasured you.

for your one year anniversary you gifted him an old gramophone. you werent sure if he was really going to like it, but he adored it.

ever since that day, most evenings were spend dancing to music, time passing so much faster than it seemed. your hands were locked and one of kazuhas hands was resting on your waist. one of his hands went through your hair.

on the first day you danced with him, he realized how much he needed you. you were his light, his hope, his everything. its why he calls you 'his star'

unfortunately, every star dies one day.

if you would ask him, his star died way to early.

on the night your light faded, a shooting star crossed the sky. kazuha knows youre only supposed to make one wish, but all of them crossed his mind at once. he wished he could dance with you again, he wish his fingers could make his way through your soft hair once more, he wished he could gift you more poems he wrote, and watch your eyes light up like the night sky does when the stars start glowing.

his breath hitched when he felt your hand touch his cheek once more. you gave him a last smile, and a tear rolled down your cheek. your hand fell from his cheek, but kazuha caught it mid air, and he held it to his chest.

later, a poem could be found on your grave.

in a moment of sorrow, please let me borrow, your healing light once more, before i am found at our seashore.

it was the last poem he ever wrote.

[mikobeautifulheart]

How JJK men react when the find you secretly singing

INCLUDUNG: Megumi and Yuji

There already established relationships

Tw: none, just fluff.

Also unedited so don't come for me okay

~Megumi~

It's raining slightly outside but it's not a big deal, it just means no training today. You text Megumi asking if he can come over because the bordem started to get to you. He didn't respond.

Heck maybe he was on a mission. Megumi was like that some times, a bit secretive, but he always tries to not intentionally hide things from you. But you can't exactly say you dont hide anything from him either. You maybe dating but you were still trying to hide your singing voice at all costs. You were worried he would hear it and it would be the most embarrassing moment of your life because of how soft your voice is, many times people have missed what you say in conversations because because speak softly.

But when you started talking to Megumi you realised that every time you said something he would always respond, even if you mutted slightly he would catch every word.

Giving up on staring at your phone waiting for a response from him, you got up and began to hum as you walked to the book shelf in your dorm. It was like a shared shelf that you and megumi would put your books on for eachother to read, while you were picking out a book you saw your missing head phones right next to the very last book. You grabbed them and plugged them into your phone putting on your play list while you got a book and read the blurb. You mustn't have realised but you humming turned into soft whispers to singing the song you were listening to. You got so lost in the music that you jumped violently when you felt arms wrap around your waist and take one ear phone out.

"M...Megumi?! Dont scare me like That! I was going to punch you!" You said flustered at his sudden arrival.

He put the single earphone and put it into his ear humming along to the song to. His hair was wet and dripped onto the back of your book.

"You have...a nice voice." He mumbled hesitating as he felt your body warm up.

"You should sing more often, I like your voice over the singers."

"No, don't say that" you blushed putting your hands over your face to spread your blush.

"But it's true"

He humms again in you ear before he speaks again and finds your hands to pull away from your face.

"Say it; in other words hold my hand" He sang waiting for you to finish the lyric.

"In other words darling kiss me-" you sang making him smile as he takes the book out of your hands and down on your desk. Maybe you will sing around him more often.

▪︎Yuji▪︎

You guys we're going to go with Megumi and Nobora for Yujis birthday. It had to be good, that's why Nobora suggested going to a karaoke place, belive it or not Yuji was actually really good at singing and he enjoyed it to. He would always sing little songs when he was busy doing something like baking or just walking around jujitsu high. People would catch him in the middle of his song before they got his attention causing him to do his signature bright smile.

You on the other hand were not keen to sing in public at all. Not to be confised with the favt rhat you a a beautiful angelic voice, it was just the idea of singing where other people could hear that was terrifying, what of you had a voice crack? Or you sang the wrong words? You would never recover. But you were only ever caught singing twice, once by Toge, who swore he wouldn't tell anyone after your continuous begging, and the second time by Gojo, which you had to bribe him with cake. After those two incidents you were more cautious about where and when you sang. But at a karaoke party? It's hard to not avoid singing. Megumi said he won't sing but you know by the end of the night he would. So I must be inescapable for you to.

"LETS GO!" Nobora shouted down the hallway. That's right you two were going to pick up Yujis cake and met Megumi and Yuji there.

Oy after 15 minutes of panicking you and Nobora had the cake secured.

You thought of so many ways to get out of singing until you settled on the perfect excuse.

You went inside the place and saw megumi and Yuji standing at the enterance waiting for you.

"Happy birthday Yuji" you said giving him a soft smile that made him blush ightly as every one started to walk inside.

You all sat down in the room before Nobora picked up two microphones and handed one to Yuji before offering it to you.

"Ah sorry I can't sing" you told her but she persisted.

"Actually my throat is really sore right now"

Yuji looked at you before getting an idea of what your trying to do before he interjected by putting in a song and hitting play. He stood up and cheerful yelled into the microphone beofre saying

"THIS ONES FOR YOU Y/N"

he started singing...horribly. you knew he could sing better, so did everyone else. But he sounded terrible so you wouldn't be afraid. You really didn't want to sing but because of Yuji you were going to sing now. So you stood up to and sang along...not as bad...with him.

"No, noooo, you are always gonna be my loveeeee"

He looked over at you in admiration, you turned your head to him, face slightly red of embarrassment.

The song finished and Yuji blew out the candles on his cake.

"What did you wish for?" Nobora asked

"Well I wished that Y/N would sing more around me." He said hand rubbing that back of his neck nervously.

Let's just say you sang your heart out for him that night.

Authors note: I quoted "fly me to the moon" for Megumi and "first love" by Hikaru Utada for Yuji

Lemme know if you want a part 2 and who, or if you have any requests that are similar or different. Thanks for reading! ♡

[quicktosimp]

Run

Romancing Pandora Day 04 - Predator/Prey

So'lek/Human!Reader

Warnings: 18+, Primal Play, Hunting, CNC, Bondage, Spanking, Humiliation, Degradation, Rough, Biting, Blood, Nipple Play, Fingering, P in V Sex, Cervix Play, Alien Genitalia, Use of Safeword, Aftercare

Words: 2564

Dividers by @cafekitsune

I had done it this time; I finally pushed his last nerve, and now my life is on the line. I have been running through the forest for hours now. I know that So’lek is playing with me; there’s no way a human could outrun a Na’vi, especially on his own turf. I had angered him so much that he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away; he took us far into the wilderness. My legs aching as I pounded my fists on his arm. Once I was well and truly lost, did he let go, throwing me to the ground.

So’lek eyes were almost completely black as he turned to me, his posture ridged and angry, “Run,” He growled.

I stood on trembling legs and ran. The forest was dark, and I could barely see where my feet landed. I tripped over roots, twigs, and vines. As I scrambled through the woods, I fell so many times, covering myself in mud and bruising my body as I hit the ground hard. I could always hear him behind me, growling or chuckling at my plight. Whenever I did, I would try to hide in small nooks, waiting until he was gone. But I know he’s still there. I could feel his eyes on me. I continued to run, my heart beating out of my chest. I could barely hear anything over the sounds of my breathing. I was covered in sweat, and everything ached, but I couldn’t stop because who knows what he’d do to me. 

I screamed as a large hand reached out for me. So’lek missed me by a hair as I ducked under some low branches he couldn’t fit through. I could hear his growls behind me as I sprinted forward, trying to keep to the underbrush well outside of So’lek’s reach. But as I ran, I could hear him above me; even his steps were noticeable under here.  

“Come out, vrrtep,” He sang above me, reaching down, his large hands barely able to pass through the thicket, waving around erratically.

I fell to the floor, busting my knees open, as I crawled under his hands, making my way past him. As soon as I passed, I dashed off again. Following the path of the underbrush, I managed to get some distance, but all good things must come to an end. I did my best to slow to a stop, nearly tripping over my legs so I didn’t fall off the edge. In front of me was the ledge to a cliff over 100 feet down into shallow water. 

I heard him chuckle behind me. I couldn’t even turn to look as fingers laced themselves in my hair, pulling me off the ground.

“Look at you, vrrtep, always acting all high and mighty, but you are nothing but prey, meant to be hunted into extinction,” His voice was dark and condescending.

The pain from my hair being pulled was immense, pin pricks all over my scalp as So’lek held me in the air. I reached up, trying to grab onto his wrist and alleviate the pain, but I couldn’t reach him. I tried to complain, but only a small whimper came out.

“See? Such a small little vrrtep, but don’t worry. I’ll finally give you something useful to do,” His voice was smug as he removed his tewng, dropping it to the forest floor. 

My eyes widened in fear, “So’lek, what are you doing?” I started thrashing, needing to get out of his grasp.

So’lek threw me to the ground, stunning me in place, as he picked up his tewng again, looping it over a branch. He left it there, instead turning back to me. He grabbed my wrists, brought them together, and easily lifted me off the ground. So’lek then used the straps of his tewng to tie me there. The straps wrap around my wrists thickly many times until he knots it off, out of reach for my fingers. 

“No, So’lek! This is crazy. Let me go, and we can forget this all happened,” I begged him as tears started to fall.

“No vrrtep. I have been far too patient with you. It is time you learned your lesson,” So’lek explained disgustedly, his nose nearly pressed to mine.

So’lek reached for my shirt, which was already in tatters from running around Pandora, and grabbed fistfuls of it before ripping it apart. I squealed as I looked at the tatters in his hands, trying to distract myself from being exposed. So’lek dropped the broken clothes onto the ground, bringing his hands up and cupping at my clothed breasts.

“So’lek-”

“Shut it, vrrtep,” So’lek squeezed them in his grasp, well past the point of comfortable. 

I bit my lip while whining from the pain; my sensitive tits had never been treated like this before. Instead of breaking my bra, he pushed it down and forced my tits outside the fabric, exposing my nipples to cool air. My nipple pebbled from the air, forming stiff peaks, which So’lek decided to play with. Using his fingers, So’lek pinched both my nipples.

“Vrrtep, you are so fleshy… Txavä’” He sneered at me before pulling.

“Stop! It hurts!” I screamed as he pulled at my chest, my nipples and tits stretched taunt painfully, dragging me forward.

“It hurts!” So’lok mocked with a grin, “Good, maybe you’ll finally learn something.” He then let go, and I swang back into place.

Looking at So’lek, I realized that he genuinely meant it. He seemed livelier than I had ever seen him before, and his central slit, the home to his sexual organs, was relaxed, ready to mate. So’lek followed my gaze, realizing where I was looking. 

So’lek laughed darkly, “I have to say, vrrtep, your pretty little screams seem to be doing it for me,” His large hand grabbed at my clothed cunt, his hand covering the entire of my cunt and ass, “You keep telling to go ‘fuck off,’ and that I needed to ‘work through my tension,’ and I think this pussy will work perfectly,” So’lek smirked, as he started to rub at his slit. 

“It can’t fit,” I whispered fearfully. 

“You don’t have to worry about it fitting; I’ll make it,” So’lek reached for his knife, pulling it out; the blade shone in the moonlight as So’lek brought it to rest on my chest, “Such fragile skin, worthless to Pandora,” So’lek tapped the blades tip down my chest, over my stomach, and rested it above my pants, “Remember vrrtep your safety is in my hands,” Before ripping it clean through my pants. 

“Please! Stop!” I cried, tears falling faster as my heart started to beat out of my chest.

“Now, why would I do that?” He said before ripping my panties off.

I cried harder as the gentle breeze brushed against my cunt, watching as So’lek took in sight. He grabbed my thighs, spreading them wide apart. I tried to get out of his grasp but to no avail, as he lifted my leg so my cunt was level with his face. 

“It’s so tiny… I’m going to destroy it,” So’lek mentioned gladly. Then licking a stripe up my cunt, from my hole to my clit, sending sparks of pleasure. My head falls back as I stifle a moan, unable to believe I was enjoying this.  

“I did not believe that a vrrtep could taste so sweet,” So’lek’s voice was surprised before he delved back in.

His large tongue swiped over my pussy again before he latched on. His mouth encased my cunt as he sucked on it, his tongue focusing on my hole, slurping my juices. So’lek’s tongue keeps bullying my cunt, the large muscle barely making any headway into such a small place. He did it over and over again, bruising my entrance. So’lek gripped my hips even tighter, and I knew that marks would be left in my wake. He growled before picking up the speed, desperately trying to get inside. There’s only so much abuse my cunt could take before his tongue slipped in. So’lek groaned as he licked inside, fully tasting me. 

“No, So’lek, you’re too big!” I whined, unable to squirm away, my pussy leaking from being fucked.

I could feel his chuckle vibrate through me as he continued his efforts, sucking on my clit, while my hole was further abused. The thick muscle forces my walls to accommodate and stretch as he pleases. Each move was erratic; I couldn’t adjust to his pace. So’lek simply took what he wanted.

He pulled off with a pop licking his lips, “I thought a vrrtep only became wet when aroused?” So’lek grinned, “NO matter how much you beg me to stop, your dirty little cunt tells me the truth,” So’lek shifted me so he held me with one arm before sliding a finger inside my pussy and setting a rough pace.

I couldn’t think over the sounds of his hand hitting my ass and the quelching of my pussy, as So’lek finger fucked me. 

“NOooooo,” I moaned from the stimulation, my head fuzzy, but knowing deep down I wasn’t supposed to want this. 

So’lek stopped for a moment; I became hopeful that he was listening, only to be met with a second finger inside me. The stretch burned as he continued where he had left off, all the while wiggling and spreading his fingers.

“Listen to that, that’s the sound of your fuck wet pussy. I’m going to take what I want, and your filthy cunt is telling me it wants it too,” So’lek growled, then sinking his teeth into my thigh.

The sharp pain of his teeth, the curling of his fingers, and the filthy humiliation of it all, I came undone. It was like a dame breaking; pleasure flooded every inch of my body, my vision darkened, my thighs trembled, and my feet curled. I couldn’t stop moaning, even as drool slipped past my lips and trailed down my chin.

So’lek dropped me as if disgusted, pulling forcefully on my aching shoulders, “Screaming and begging me to stop, yet you just came from my fingers,” He shoved his fingers into my mouth, making me taste myself, as I gagged around his long appendages. 

His fingers weren't in my mouth for long, now trailing to his central slit, swiftly parting his slit and finding his cock. Bring it outside. His cock is enormous; at the base, it starts off as the same color as his skin, slowly lightening to the tapered tip, which is a pretty lavender color. The spines terrified me; all over the shaft of his cock were large spines that reminded me of his kuru. I could see them flexing in the darkness of the night. 

I could only whine at the sight; there was no way it could fit inside me. So’lek lifted me by the hips again, his fingers sliding over the forming bruises, bringing my cunt to his face, and promptly spat on my clit, before it slid down to my hole. So’lek lowered my hips, lining me up with his cock. I whined and weakly tried to wiggle away. Pain erupted through my pussy, as a loud smack rang through the air. So’lek’s large hand was once again wet from my cunt.

“I don’t care if you don’t want this, I don’t care how much you scream and cry, this pussy is all you’re good for, and now it’s mine,” So’lek growled, slowly pushing in.

I screamed as he pushed in. The tapered tip popped past my entrance and was followed by each spine on his cock. All of them wiggling once inside me, wanting to lock into place to breed. They raked my insides as he continued to push in, never giving me a break.

So’lek groaned with his head tilted back, “So fucking tight vrrtep, you trying to make me cum?” He ground his hips into my ass, trying to adjust himself inside me.

As he ground his hips, each spine inside me shifted, rolling and raking against the sensitive flesh. Many of the spines are still wiggling around, trying to find the perfect stop to lock. Those that had, were hard and unyielding, refusing to move from their spot, pulling on my flesh whenever So’lek moved. 

“OH! N-fu-aH!” I cried out uselessly, unable to even speak.

So’lek’s hips stuttered as more of his spines lined up, but he needed something more, “Look at you, my fucking slut. You’ve finally shut up, my cock fuck you stupid? Well, stupider,” His free hand threaded his fingers into my hair, pulling my head back and biting into the side of my neck. 

“NnnA-fu-A!” I couldn't stop my scream as his teeth broke my skin, my blood trailing down my neck and dripping to the ground.

So’lek pulled back his lips dripping crimson, “Now everyone will know you’re my slut,” His hips twitched more, and his cock started hitting my cervix.

The tapered tip begged for entrance, bruising my cervix in its demands. Each of his spines had locked into place, and all So’lek could do was grind his hips, none of his spines willing to budge, pulling and pushing on my walls. 

“Maybe they won't see you? I’ll lock you away, far from where another vrrtep could find you, and I’ll use you day and night. You’ll be nothing more than my obedient cocksleeve,” So’lek threw his head back as his cock breached my cervix.

It was like nothing I had felt before. A deep bruising while burning, yet it felt so good. Stretched wide in my most intimate place. More tendrils started to more, these ones near his cock head. They wiggled around my cervix, creating a tight seal, refusing to let a drop of cum leak out. 

“Brase yourself vrrtep, because this will be your life now,” So’lek grunted as I was filled with his seed. 

Each rope of cum hit my womb, filling me to the brim, marking me as his. Not a drop escaped due to his cock locking inside me. Each spine pulsating in tandem. My moans and whines were choked off as I fought to breathe. I was bent, and my ribs felt crushed; my arms were above my head, and I couldn’t move; I couldn’t breathe.

“Kelku,” I muttered weakly, and So’lek’s demenar changed.

His punishing grip turned soft, and he shifted me so I was upright, cuddled against his chest.

“Yawntutsyìp, what do you need? Are you okay?” He asked concernedly, checking for any missing injuries as he untied my wrists. 

So’lek didn’t let my arms fall limply like I wanted; instead, he eased them down, rubbing at my sore joints.

I took a deep breath; this position was much easier to breathe in, “M’okay, too squishy, and I couldn’t breathe,” I explained, resting my head on his chest. 

So’lek frowned as he cursed himself, “I’m so sorry, Yawntutsyìp. I should have known better. I will make sure that never happens again. Is there anything I can do for you now?” He asked again.

I lay there comfortably, thinking for a moment, “Just cuddles right now; maybe we can continue in a bit?” I asked him, peering through my lashes.

So’lek’s eyes were soft as he carefully walked over to the base of the tree, settling us down, “I think that sounds perfect.”

Taglist: @eywaite, @loakstahni, @justcaptiannoodles, @xylianasblog

[sleepingdayaway]

And you never knew, how much I really liked you.

To my Legend lovers. And to my friends on discord, I did the thing :)

Characters: Legend, Reader, mentions of Ravio, Time, Wind, Sky, Warriors, Twilight, Wild, Four, Hyrule and Marin.

Warnings: Idk Legend crying at the end bc why not??

Legend knew that treating you like this won't really solve anything. The snappy remarks, piercing glares, and the absolute harsh accusations that spill from his mouth.

The arguments with the rest of the chain about how they trusted your words way too easily for his liking. Come on now! They're heros who's been doing this for awhile, they should understand about enemies disguising themselves to attack until they're vulnerable!

Yet deep down, he too fully trusted your words as well.

Underneath all his actions?

He remembers.

Legend doesn't really know why he was the only one that remembered you straight away. Perhaps it's because of how many adventures he's been on, and the way that you willingly stuck by his side through out all of it.

He remembers your soothing voice of comfort after his journey on Wind Fish Island. The way you comforted him and reassured him on what happened, but that feeling didn't last.

You disappeared.

You left him.

And again when the world called for him only then did you return. Once more did you guide him through his adventure, but you weren't just a companion. No, you were someone he cherished deeply. You were his friend, the only person that knew of his troubles and you knew him like the back of your hand.

Those nights of hushed whispers when Legend had time for solitude. Those nights of you guiding him through his injuries, and those touches of warmth that he felt after patching himself. You called them 'feel better kisses.'

Legend remembers the time you welcome Ravio with open arms. He didn't miss the way how Ravio would speak so softly towards him, whenever he asked about you or asked if you wanted any item in particular. In return, Legend would voice out your response.

He recalls the time you encouraged him to jump into the lake for him to cool off, after he lost his temper at a merchant. The way your giggles echoed in his ears, a bit muffled, since he refused to appear in the surface since he felt his face burn a bit.

The way you spoke adamantly about wanting stay and listen to Marin whenever she sang the ballad. It was honestly both of your favorite tune.

Until one day did you finally left him for good. The night before your disappearance you were even more affectionate than ever. Hogging his attention and all around his body was this warm feeling as if someone placed a blanket over him. Legend felt giddy since you've never acted this way before. He relished in your affection as he returned home to lay in bed.

As he prepared for bed, it was the only time he was able to relax. To feel like he didnt need to worry about his next adventure nor worry what who or whag to save next. Legend heard that familiar ballad again, but this time it wasn't Marin's voice, it was yours.

Legend, surpisingly allowed himself to be vulnerable tonight as he laid in bed. He mourned the people of Koholint Island, and his heart ached for a certain purple merchant that can no longer visits.

Underneath the covers did he enjoy the soft singing of your voice. Eventually, he bid you a good night, and he could've sworn you whispered a 'Sweet dreams.'

"I'm sorry-"

Now here you are standing in front of him physically. And sweet Hylia were you even more magnificent than he could imagine. Finally being able to see your expression, the way you stood, and being able to put a face to your voice. Legend greedily took in all the details of who you were until he realized what you did.

You gave him false hope of being together, and being at his side. Now you pretend that the past years of wondering and solving dangerous dungeons together didn't exist?

That his hardships were nothing but entertainment for you? Was Zelda nothing to you? Was Ravio's affection to you also nothing?

Legend hates you.

He hates you and your stupid [color] hair.

He hates the way your voice reach his ears whenever you spoke with the Champion.

He hates your laugh whenever he catches you with the sailor.

He hates the way you unashamedly gave your affection too the Traveler.

He hates how you and the Old Man can speak so softly to each other during those quiet moments.

He hates the way you flirt back to the Captain whenever you wanted to tease back.

He hates the look on your face whenever the Smith shows you his variety of artifacts and tools he's created.

He hates the way you rest with the Knight. The look of ease and the full trust of being in each other's company.

But he especially hates the way you sing with the Rancher. Familiar melodies that you sang before with him.

Yet Legend still loves you. He loves you so much that he would give up everything he has just to be with you.

Legend has traveled between worlds, and he would do so again just to have you once more.Except he felt that sickening feeling of envy. He wanted you to hurt the way he did after all those years.

Although the nagging thoughts that appear, saying that it won't fix anything that has happened. He's just too stubborn to acknowledge the longing that's still there.

And now as he stands in his home. His cluttered home with artifacts that he has collected during his time adventuring.

None of them held any value to him except for you.

His adventure is over, and so is yours.

They took you home.

Legend, finally alone, collapses onto the ground. Gripping his hair as hot tears fall down his face, the world around him gone as he loses himself in thoughts.

Because I never even told you, Oh, and I meant to

[the-library-of-theories]

Phantom of Hexcore theory

(Want to see the TikTok version with photos? Here’s the link:)

Before the last episodes, I wanted to put my guess for this show as I’ve began listening to the Phantom of the Opera album and found some relevance to the show. Especially with the intro with Viktor’s parts being parallels to this musical.

To make this short (as possible), let’s put the characters and who they would parallel who. And this may either surprise you or not.

Christine = Viktor

Erik (Phantom) = Hextech/Viktor

Raoul = Jayce

Christine is Viktor not because of the ship (let’s be serious for now, as much as I ship them as well lol), but rather because of the narrative. Both had ambitions regardless when one of them is literally dying that both want to fulfill. And while goals are different, both get a taste of what they want. So close.

This may attract the other two important characters. Erik and Raoul (Hextech and Jayce). Jayce became very close to Viktor, someone who literally saved him from his despair and wants to return the favor in any way possible. But this is where the “phantom” comes in.

Hextech, the duo’s dream of helping their people. It was at first, the dream come true… until it was lost. When Viktor began feeding it his blood, we can see a connection began between Viktor and Hexcore. In reflection to this, this is where Erik and Christine meet. The song “Phantom of the Opera” is a great comparison to Hextech and Viktor’s relationship. Here’s two examples:

“In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. That voice which calls to me and speaks my name. And do I dream again for now I find, The Phantom of the Opera is there… Inside my mind.”

“Those who have seen your face draw back in fear. I am the mask you wear.” “It’s me they hear.”

“Your (my) spirit and my (your) voice in one combined.”

This basically is a parallel to Viktor’s arc as he slowly and will eventually become the Phantom… the Herald Machine.

So what will that mean for the rest of the show?

Well right before we get to the predictions, give me a page or couple of slides to put the spotlight on Jayce and Viktor’s relationship.

We know both are very close, to the point Jayce was willing to do almost anything to save Viktor, even fusing Viktor with the Hexcore which ironically enough is the beginning of the transition from Viktor to the Herald Machine. Even many pointed out that in the intro sequence, that Viktor isn’t the one to put the mask one.

Jayce is.

The best song to help explain their relationship is “All I ask of you” which parallels to Viktor making Jayce promise to destroy Hextech.

“Let me be your freedom. Let daylight dry your tears. I’m here, with you, beside you. To guard you and to guide you.”

“Say you need me with you now and always. Promise me that all you say is true. That’s all I ask of you.”

Skip to after Jayce “kills” Viktor, I don’t believe Viktor’s arc is over and I know almost everyone will agree. We know he’ll come back as we think he’ll be. Which is why the song “Masquerade” is perfect to reveal he’s back.

It parallels when the Phantom crashes the party and gives one last warning.

And while most of Viktor is gone, I think a small part of him wonders back to the “simpler” times. Hence parallels to “Wishing you were somehow here again.” Thinking of his relationship with Jayce. His last bit of humanity.

“You were my one companion. You were all that mattered. You were once a friend and father. Then my world was shattered.”

“No more memories, no more silent tears. No more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye.”

I then think that we’ll have one last stand off between Jayce and Viktor. “The point of no return” will perfectly fit this as they may fight.

“Past the point of no return. The final threshold. What warm unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return.”

The conclusion of this fight is what confuses me a bit, but this will be going off of the ending of the Phantom of the Opera and my ideas.

Perhaps Jayce and Viktor have a heart to heart, should Jayce recognize or break through to what is left of Viktor. Leaving a choice to Viktor to chose. (Down once more…/ Track down this murder). Depending on the results of this, one of these two theories may happen.

Viktor and Jayce will once more team up once last time. Choosing to leave as Christine and Roaul have.

“Say you’ll share with me. One love, one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you.”

Viktor will escape or die as the Machine Herald in parallels to Erik (Phantom).

“You alone can make my song take flight - It’s over now, the Music of the Night.”

Remember, this is just a theory (a movie theory).

And if none of this happens, well, it was fun.

And if it does…

I am no writer for this series and was just thinking of the nods towards the musical.

[arkivsantorina]

I am my mother's savage daughter (r. stark)

I am my mother's savage daughter r. stark oneshot

Pairings - Robb Stark x witch!Reader

Word Count - 1,500 words

Warnings - Morally grey characters, mentioned non-descriptive murder, mentioned non-descriptive self-harm for the sake of magic

A/N - Here is my first request from a lovely anon. If that was you, I hope I did your request justice.

Request: Hello I was hoping if you could write a Robb stark and witch reader, she is his closest advisor and with the help of her powers she helped him get revenge for his father,he announces he is to marry her after he wins the war and thanks her for her support "I wouldn't have done it without you type of thing?

Born as the daughter of Lord Roose Bolton and a noblewoman whose name has been lost to history, there have always been shadows that leak from your very soul. As a young girl, you were sent to be a ward of Lady Catelyn Stark in Winterfell. Perhaps it was a plan of your father’s to make you the future Lady of Winterfell, yet no betrothal to Robb came from your time there. Perhaps it was to keep you away from your bastard half-brother and his inclination to harm play with small defenseless things. Or perhaps it was because your father was afraid of you. Afraid of your potential. Afraid of what you would become if you were raised in a home that could provide no love to serve as a buffer to your whims. Many would try to claim that magic has long since disappeared in the kingdoms south of the wall but your father knew better. It was the power of your mother that drew him to her. A woman of a minor noble house that would not have drawn the attention of the ambitious Roose Bolton if it weren’t for the whispers that surrounded your late mother. With his own eyes, Roose saw how your mother controlled those around her. How the branches of trees and the flames of candles instinctively bent towards her as she walked past. A flick of her dainty wrist was able to send a man to his knees. An insult by a maid resulted in a fall down the stairs ending the maid’s life. After their marriage and your birth, your mother became disenchanted with your father and his control of her so he had her killed before he could become one of her puppets. It had also helped to quell the rumors slowly spreading from Dreadfort of his wife’s powers. She was just another woman weakened and eventually stuck down but the battle of the birthing bed.

So it was you who was raised amongst the Stark children. Receiving the love of the family had helped to tamper the power swirling underneath your skin but the execution of Lord Eddard Stark, a man who had raised you to be good in a way that your own father would have never been able to, ignited a burning sensation in your veins that you were unable to quell. You would wake up with scratches all over your body and blood underneath your fingernails. The voices that had once occasionally whispered to you now roared in your ears. They sang stories of the great battles yet to come. They warned you of betrayals when trust was placed in the wrong hands. In the course of a few weeks, you became a jaded shell of yourself, wholly devoted to the Old Gods and scarcely left the sanctity of the Godswood. 

Robb took you south with him, against the advice of his advisors. He could not leave you behind, just as he could not leave Theon behind. You were his friend and he knew you would prove to be an invaluable resource. He, of course, was proven correct. Roose, as one of Robb’s generals, watched as you cared for the wounded. Your remedies healed injuries and sickness far better than those concocted by others, despite using the exact same materials. Everyone praised your healing abilities as a blessing from the Gods. You treated Robb’s men and Lannister soldiers alike. Those who weren’t against the idea lauded you for your kind heart, Robb included. Roose watched as shadows slipped from underneath your tent when night fell and darkness cloaked the camp. The shadows, darker than the darkness around them, moved like snakes until they reached the beds of Lannister soldiers. The shadows would slither onto the cots and bedrolls of the enemy and smother them until the life left their eyes. There was no struggle. Healers would report the deaths in the morning as the soldiers merely having succumbed to their battlefield injuries. Roose watched as you were able to fake sympathy as you helped other healers carefully dispose of the bodies but he could see the shimmer in your eye, the same that once gleamed in his wife’s. 

If others had noticed, nothing was said. You had shown how valuable you were to Robb on the night when you shared your dreams with him. Not revealing that they were dreams, you made suggestions of what you thought the Lannisters may do. Most of the time you were proven to be correct and Robb gained the respect of his men due to the brilliance of his strategies. Robb kept you beside him in all of the war council meetings, allowing you to provide input when you deemed it necessary. In the eyes of his men, you were an oddity among women; one who had a brain and was useful for things other than running a household. You were given more freedom and would use it to sneak away. Running barefoot through the forests that often surrounded the placement of the war camp. Listening to whispers of the trees as you fed your blood back to the dirt. You did not question your abilities. You did what you instinctively knew to do. Coming back to the camp, your eyes would be brighter and your steps would be lighter. All the inhabitants of the camp wrote it off as you needing a break from the pressures. You were still a woman no matter the respect you received and thus were weaker and needed more breaks than the men. 

When the battles grew fiercer as Robb moved his army closer to the capital, whispers erupted of shadows helping the Northern army in their fight. Whispers spread even farther, to the Lannisters and beyond, of their men being taken down without the bite of steel even connecting with their bodies. Once again, this was brushed outside. Soldiers grow tired and delirious. Gossip grows crazier the more it is spread. King Robb is not King Stannis. He does not have a Melissandre by his side, filling his head with nonsense prophecies. He is a king fighting to avenge his father, rescue his sisters, and return to rule an independent North. You did not mind. You encouraged the rumors to grow more obscure. It kept you safe. It kept your actions from being examined too closely.

It was not until the night before Robb was to storm the Red Keep that you revealed your true nature to him. You revealed everything. Your healing, your killing, how you knew the movements of Lannister troops and what they would do in battle. Robb was shocked. He initially wanted to punish you for not telling him earlier but cooler heads prevailed and he realized that everything you had done was to aid him in his revenge, in your revenge as Ned was as much your father as he was Robb’s. So Robb listened. He listened as he did when you warned him not to agree to a Frey betrothal, to offer his uncle instead. He listened as he did when you warned him away from the pretty foreign healer. He listened as he did when you warned him to not allow Theon to sail for the support of his father’s ships and when you warned him not to accept your father’s request of sending your bastard brother to protect Winterfell. Now Robb listened even more closely as you explained what your shadows brought back to you from where you had sent them into King’s Landing, fully appreciating the weapon that the Gods had gifted him with.

You were by his side for the entirety of the siege. Riding just behind him and watching as he commanded his men to act in the way you had suggested the night before. You were standing in front of him when the Lannisters’ men shockingly turned against the royal family and its bastard king. He was beside you as he and his men watched the same Lannister soldiers then turn their swords against themselves. What was supposed to be a battle that would stain the throne room with the blood of both Lannister and Stark men ended with only lions left dead. 

After his coronation as King of the Seven Kingdoms, in which you placed the crown on Robb’s head and whispers a blessing of prosperity, protection, and power from the Old Gods, Robb announced that you would be his wife and queen. No one had provided more support to him than you did and he could see no other person than you by his side for the rest of his life. You were married in the ways of the Old Gods and the magic in your veins calmed for the first time since you had marched south. The Gods were pleased. They had one of their own blessed children on the throne and they kept the realm steady as long as your blood remained on the throne. 

[fanby-fckry]

Saw you are fan of both The Amazing Devil and Hazbin Hotel, so, combining those two, what TAD songs would you assign each Hazbin Hotel character?

Ooh, this is a good ask!

Ok, not a character, but I once was someone say that Farewell Wanderlust is Lucilith coded, and they’re so right.

"Come, devil, come, " she sang, "Call out my name" Let's take this outside, 'cause we're one and the same Our gods have abandoned us, left us instead Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead

Especially if we’re including the Lucilith divorce, tbh.

He said, "Hey, darling, hey, hey, darling, hey I'm the hardest goodbye that you'll ever have to say"

…

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been, oh, so kind You brought me to this party, but you left me here behind So long to the person you begged me to be She's down, she's dead Instead what is left but this old satin dress And the mess that you left When you told me that I wasn't right in the head

…

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been ever so kind You brought me through this darkness, but you left me here behind And so long to the person you begged me to be He's down, he's dead Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

He's down, he's dead He's gone, oh, he's lost He's flown, he's fled Now take a good long look at what you've all done to me

But, you didn’t ask for ships, you asked for characters!

Charlie as The Horror and the Wild

I will admit, I cannot fully explain this one. It’s just. Vibes.

You were raised by wolves and voices Every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed They said it all comes down to you You're the daughter of silent watching stones You watch the stars hurl all their fundaments In wonderment, at you and yours, forever asking more

…

Fret not, dear heart, let not them hear The mutterings of all your fears The fluttering of all your wings Welcome to the storm, I am thunder Welcome to my table, bring your hunger

Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring I promise you, they'll sing of every time You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child Witness me, old man, I am the wild

Something, something, her parents’ legacies; something something fighting against the establishment and sniffling and repressive traditions.

Vaggie as King

Just change up the pronouns a bit, and it’s surprising how well it works. Very similar to her part in Whatever It Takes.

Every moon in the sky, every promise and lie (All that matters) All hell and its fire Waits for us

I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait In that house at the top of the In that house at the top of the I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait In that house (all hell) at the top (all hell) (All hell, all hell, all hell, all hell, all hell, all hell) Of the rock

“Every promise and lie,” you say? “All hell and its fire,” you say? “I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait”? Is that not Vaggie’s arc?

Angel Dust as The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace

I waffled on this a little bit, but in the end I always kept coming back to The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace for Angel.

This part in particular stands out to me:

'Cause I've been here so many times before Don't you think I look pretty Curled up on this bathroom floor? But where you see weakness, I see wit Sometimes I fall to pieces Just to see what bits of me don't fit

Romanticizing his own breakdowns, self destructing because it’s the only way he knows how to cope.

There’s also something to be said for the way that the glass metaphor mirrors Poison:

Somehow now I'm drinking, and I'm lifting my glass To that last good man grace Who has left me, he's left me at last

…

Then the hollow folk pour me another shard full of glass And I toast to their talents and I forgive them at last

Mmm yummy broken glass, yummy poison. This is fine. He’s fine, guys, don’t even worry about it!

Narrator Voice: He was not fine.

Angel using humor (often sexual humor, but still) as a shield comes up here, as well.

And I laugh, and I laugh 'Cause laughing right now, it's all, all that I have

And the conflicting forces throughout the song, the Old Witch Sleep and Good Man Grace, themselves, can be fitted over the conflicting forces on Angel’s Afterlife.

I could see an argument in either direction for which force matches up with which, but personally, I’m for the Old Witch Sleep as Angel’s addiction and the people with a vested interest in keeping him from being sober vs Good Man Grace as redemption and the pressure to get there.

There's a fire burning, and I'm learning to be So much more than my tiredness So much more than that old witch sleep wishes She kisses my eyelids And I breathe

The Old Witch Sleep represents the comfort in familiar, yet ultimately unhealthy coping mechanisms.

In the song, alone, I would say she sounds a lot like depression and the symptoms and coping mechanisms that come with it – telling the singer to rest, to give in to his tiredness.

And isn’t it easier to sleep? To lay in bed for hours, wasting away because you’re so, so tired, and everything is too much, and it’ll all be there when you get up (if you get up), so sleep, just sleep.

When applied to Angel Dust, specifically, she sounds like addiction.

Return to the comfort of your vices, break yourself so that it hurts less when he breaks you, escape through drugs and sex and dissociation. Isn’t it nicer here, where your thoughts and your feelings and your memories and your pain are blurred and distant and forgotten as you rewrite the narrative from trauma to indulgence? Isn’t it easier than trying to face it all sober?

She’s well intentioned, the Old Witch Sleep. After all, sleep is a necessity. The problem comes in excess, and even then, it can be seen as a kindness – as shelter from the inherent cruelty of being awake.

It kind of reminds me of Cherri, trying to comfort Angel by bringing him back to his vices. Her intentions were good, but ultimately she wound up putting him under even more stress.

So, what about Good Man Grace?

"You're better than this" He says as a hand slaps my face and I stand And say, "No good man grace" I can't do this (you can) I can't do this (you can) I can't do this (you can) I can't do this, you don't understand

Yeahh, remember Charlie and Vaggie’s whole thing in the first half of Masquerade? And to a lesser extent, Video Killed the Radio Star?

Good Man Grace is expectation. Being told that you can do better, trying to do better, wanting to do better, and oh fuck, they don’t understand, because there are forces here beyond your control and it’s harder than it looks, damn it!

And (through Angel’s slightly skewed lens of things) when you don’t make progress fast enough for his liking, Good Man Grace turns his attention to some fucking snake and you wonder if you were ever worth anything to begin with.

Ultimately, neither extreme is helping him.

(Luckily, though, I think Charlie and Vaggie are willing to give him a bit more leeway now that they understand the circumstances behind his resistance to change and his clinging to the mask of his persona/the comfort of his old coping mechanisms. And Cherri may become more of a neutral party, now that she’s stopped viewing the hotel as the problem.)

Alastor as That Unwanted Animal

LISTEN. I know this song is about sex. But can we pretend for a moment, that it isn’t?

Can we take its metaphors about violence and animalistic hunger literally, and transfer the themes of vulnerability in sex to vulnerability in human contact of any kind?

Honestly, as an aroace, I find myself doing this to a lot of songs about sex.

Actually, as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that it is very fitting for @prince-liest’s 666 Live On Air! Alastor, specifically. Which allows us to add the sex back in, but in a uniquely aroace way.

I’m not going to go into a full analysis, here, but I will drop one very relevant, already somewhat aro-coded line:

You try so loud to love me I cannot seem to hear

Lucifer as Welly Boots

Is it cliché to choose the dad-est song for Lucifer? Perhaps. But come on.

I get to watch you grow up now and make me proud Make all of the mistakes that make me laugh Oh, darling, Lord, how you make me laugh Get drunk for me, sing louder than you've sung for me Grow young each time that thunder in your lungs Begins to rumble at the world

Cause you were always strong When you were young, you'd kick things just to see if they would fall They said, "That girl, she's wrong" But I'll stick up for you, even though you haven't got a clue You haven't got a fucking clue

And I'm so proud of you And when they laugh at us You'll feel my fingers down your back And when you scream, "I'm not alright" And throw my picture at the wall You were supposed to be my light And keep me safe against them all

Bonus Round: UH!Lilith as Pray

I’m not going to attempt to get into canon!Lilith outside of her relationship with Lucifer until after we see more of her onscreen, but oh the things I could say about Lilith and Pray if we use the version of her from my pre-season 1 fanfiction.

If you knew all that I'd done The words that shone are all but gone, oh whoa The hearts I've broken, the minds I've woken Sweet nothings are screamed, not spoken, oh whoa

God made all man in his image (God made all men) Honey, I'm, I'm no man I'm what's left when children go to war Run from you, I'll run until I begin to understand (run from you, understand) What holy men really mean When they speak of sand and sons and seams And symphonies and sweat and sex and sin

Pray is undoubtedly her song. The first woman, the first feminist, who dared to disobey her husband and was forever branded a temptress and a whore, who redefined her womanhood, and who wears her sexuality and her femininity proudly.

She is a wife and a mother, but she is not subservient to her husband or to God, himself. She saw Eve take her place, endure the burden of the role she broke free from, and rather than acting superior, putting Eve down, or drowning her in pity and condescension, Lilith met her with kindness, open arms and listening ears.

Also, can you tell my favorite TAD album by looking at this post? I um. I think I mayy have a The Horror and the Wild bias, lol.

[justanotherlonelywritersblog]

My Everlasting Muse pt.1

Harry styles x OC

Warnings: 18+ Drugs, smoking, alcohol, mature content, swearing

Meeting someone who is irrevocably, unapologetically themselves is near impossible these days. 

There was a point in my life where I was stuck in a tsunami of grief, with waves of hidden agendas and vendettas constantly crashing against me. Never knowing which friend would be the next to betray me, or which camera would snap a picture of my walking corpse, or which news outlet would pay the prettiest dime for a glimpse of my remains. Hollywood breeds trust issues and kills the most beautiful minds. All because they had a dream, they once thought was worth pursuing. 

Growing up the idea of music and having a career in it sounded magical. So unbelievably naive, I studied every vinyl, witnessed as many concerts as I could, and sang until my vocal cords went raw. And when the opportunity planted itself in front of me, I leaped across the ocean with hopes and dreams and ended up landing in the viper's den. And as the tickets sold, and my voice was heard across the world I learned to hate what I once used to adore. And as the stadiums roared, and the music played, my interest in cocaine and booze increased every day. 

The family and friends I used to hang out with every Sunday, no longer heard from me. Getting their updates on my life with the rest of the world, through tabloids and news stations. The claws of Hollywood were digging into me, indulging every night, waking up to a groupie every morning, and feeling lost in the process of creation. I sang words of love and ambition but was experiencing none of those feelings. On the outside, I was the epitome of coming from nothing and making a real name for yourself. But was it worth sacrificing everything and everyone I've ever known? Well, I don't know. 

I was drowning and quickly sinking further down a whole of scandals and self-destruction, not knowing who to ask or how to ask for help, when everyone around me is in the same sinking boat as I am. I wrote a song when I was younger, it's the reason I have the fortune I do now, it was about how love can save you from the darkest of things. But I didn't know at the time, that even love couldn't save you from yourself. 

Or at least I thought so. 

A girl with eyes of salt, and an annoyingly positive personality somehow swam onto my sinking ship and rescued me from the wreck that was myself. I didn't think it was possible. A girl I once detested and hated everything she stood for, who was irrevocably and unapologetically herself, became my everlasting muse.

And honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. 

..............

Love is ironic.

It's magnetizing because it can elicit happiness, but it can also elicit pain. For it is the pain that reminds you of how truly connected you are to the person you fell in love with. 

I wasn't always so unapologetically me. 

There was a time in my life when I would sit under the stars and pray to anything, anyone up there, to give me a sign that I wasn't broken, that I wasn't unlovable, and that there was someone out there who would reassure me that I wasn't a freak of nature. Growing up in a home where shouting was the courtesy, and broken bottles were normal, it made sense I clang to the first person who showed me a sliver of love. So entrapped in the appeal of being in love, I naively went from one traumatic home to another. 

A voice that used to be gentle, now reflected my father's. Deep and intoxicated, staggering around our home with shoves and the occasional fist to my face. Isolated and a million miles away from everything I've ever known, I became trapped in this cycle of intoxication and abuse that I so badly wanted to escape.

 I was repeating my mother's mistakes.

 And the day I realized that I left in a raggedy zeppelin t-shirt, with blood-soaked hands and never looked back.

Starting over in a new city, with a new name and a new goal in life. 

Just be me. 

I wanted to determine my own fate, my own decisions, my own passions. I was over letting people walk over me and being confined to their ideas of what I should be. 

However, I never expected this new chapter in my life to end up unraveling like it did. 

Booze, regrets, parties, and cigarettes. 

I guess the trauma was resurfacing through self-deprecating behavior. But I'm not shaming my past mistakes, for it ended up leading to my savior. He was older, and his aura pulsed trouble. He didn't have to carry himself; his name did all the work for him. His brooding nature, and downright miserable attitude made me want to be the positive one for once. 

I knew the logical thing was to ignore him. I knew who he was, I knew the danger that surrounded him, and the spotlight that followed him. I should've left him and never looked back, as I had done in my past life. However, there was something magnetic pulling me towards him. Maybe it was the universe, maybe it was just luck how we always ended up in the same place and the same time. 

I became his anchor; he became my life. 

I never thought I'd be known as Harry Style's everlasting muse. 

But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

............

pt. 2 here

A/N: ahhhhhh i'm so excited!! Let me know what you think so far! This is my first fan fic so please be nice lol

A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy reading this! Updates will come as soon as I can! I'm so excited about this story, let me know what you think so far! 

[musicalobsessed-spacialanomaly]

My Hatchetfield OCs

A quick foreword: Only one is canon to my little AU. The other three were more inspired by a what-if rather than any actual interest in creating a story with them as the character. But all four of them end up blending together anyways.

I figure that, considering the infinite possibilities of timelines, who's to say these aren't possibilities?

This will go in chronological order (as chronological as it can get with as many timelines as there are):

Pokotho's Anomaly

Type: Non-canon

The first version of my character (named Remy, after myself, because these are all shameless self-insert characters) is one entirely unaffected by the Lords in Black. Born and raised in Hatchetfield, your average teenager.

And then the events of TGWDLM happens, with the meteor crashing down in the Starlight Theater. Remy had arrived early to see the show, as they have "Early is on time, on time is late" engraved into their mind as a mantra. So, with this in mind, they were one of the first infected by Pokotho's world takeover.

But it was odd, because they were still somewhat conscious in their own mind. They could control their physical actions, somehow.

Their entire molecular structure had been rewritten and for all intents and purposes they were very much deceased. But their mind and soul were still bound to their infected body, and still a part of the Hive. They still sang and danced, of course - They're a theater kid, in case it wasn't obvious - but they forcefully stopped their body from the more... violent acts.

It scared them, seeing their own hands tear innocent people - friends and family and aquaintences and strangers - limb from limb. To dig into their torso and rip out their organs. They'd vomit if they weren't just the mind, at that point.

And of course, The Singular Voice noticed the discrepancy. The error. And he threatened them to follow along or he would ensure that they would face far worse horrors than what they'd already seen.

So they shut up. They still pulled their own body away from any gore, but... they didn't let that influence the Hive as they'd been doing before. A spectator who waited for all of it to end.

T'noy Karaxis' Plaything

Type: Non-canon

This one also finds its roots in TGWDLM. And somewhat influences the prior instance.

They die, of course. A bit more brutally than before, but still. It happens. They're dead.

But for some odd reason, they end up in The Black (and White). Yet another anomaly (you can probably tell I like this word).

And T'noy Karaxis is the one to find their wandering soul. Well, not really wandering. After all, they wound up as a sort of nothing that happened to have the capability of sight and hearing, but they weren't corporeal or visible in any way. Except, of course, to the permanent residents of the place they were stuck in.

And sure, Tinky has this obsession with the Spankoffski family for some unknown reason- but a kid can like dolls and still play with cars sometimes.

He finds them, lost, and he's curious. He knows the timeline they came from, of course, and he knows that his brother would never bring anyone into The Black (for reasons of everyone besides himself being unbelievably annoying). So how did this one end up here?

Well, that doesn't matter. Finder's Keepers, after all.

He decides: What fun it would be to send a random person, with no power or ability - outside of entering the Black and White post-mortem - through each and every timeline, and see how long it would take for them to go insane? Sure, he knows the results of someone seeing everything all at once- but what a fun experiment this could be!

Though, despite being quite confused initially, Remy Rosario is not Theodore Spankoffski. Their sanity slips, sure, but not into amnesia and homelessness. More... Mad scientist.

But existing in the Black and White, even for moments at a time, affects every version of themself in various different ways.

Nibblenephim's Favored

Type: Canon

Nibbly caught word of his brother's new toy and decided he wanted one for himself. He knows better than to steal, though - sharing is not caring, at least with Tinky - so he finds an unaffected timeline and decided to enter at it's very start.

And what do you know, the beginning of the Timeline Split happens to be when Remy's at an amazing age for an Imaginary Friend to name an appearance! Not to mention just how fun they seem to be!

Sure, maybe Nibbly got a little attached, but how often does an Eldritch God find such a kindred spirit? Okay, maybe it was his own influence that gave them such a bottomless stomach and the yearning to eat just about everything put in front of them- But that just means he's a good influence on this kid, right? He was disappointed, however, to hear about the illegality of cannibalism. Maybe he could work something out with this timeline's Church of the Starry Children...

And yes, maybe a lot of other humans looked at Remy a bit weirdly. Most kids sucked their thumb, they bit at their cuticles until they bled (the doctor said it was early signs of anxiety, and while they did have anxiety, that wasn't the reason). Most kids didn't talk to themselves so loudly, even if it was to an imaginary friend. And most kids didn't eat batteries like popcorn with no negative consequences-

But dammit that just meant Remy had the best imaginary friend ever. Who cares if they don't usually last into the double digits and having aphantasia should mean that visible imaginary friends weren't exactly a possibility! It really goes to show how good of an imaginary friend he is when he stayed even after Remy decided they were too old for an imaginary friend. Who needs their own individual subconscious, anyways, when a literal god can fill the role for you?

Bliklotep's Experiment

Type: Non-Canon

This one is more of a literal shameless self-insert. I mean, we've already decided that Blinky was the "Watcher with One-Thousand Eyes" mentioned in Trail to Oregon. Which implies that our own universe is one he can see and interact with, even if his brothers seem to have no knowledge of it.

And he sees his brothers having fun, but decides that taking a version of this random teen/young adult from a preexisting timeline is boring. Why not take one from a higher universe - in which Hatchetfield is naught but fiction - and see how they interact with the world around them?

(An exerpt from my OC brainstorming document:

Then they had an odd dream. A shifting purple form that couldn’t seem to make up its mind before it settled on some kind of indescribable creature. But the violet fur and the yellow eye(s?) were unmistakable. They first chalked it up to them watching Nightmare Time and Nerdy Prudes Must Die on repeat too many times, but the conversation was fun. The idea that there were multiple versions of them in different timelines across the Hatchetverse? They considered it plausible. As the entire multiverse theory suggests that for each change, minuscule or gargantuan, there is a corresponding timeline. Who’s to say that there isn’t a version of Hatchetfield with a person identical to them, or to their best friend, or even their teacher? Makes the idea of fanfiction in their universe a plausible story in theirs.

And then they were asked a question. If they could live in Hatchetfield, with all of the knowledge they currently had, would they?

They thought, and figured, as a normal person? Absolutely not. With everything they know, they’d like to have some sort of ability. Like access to the Black Book, or some sort of power like the kids at the roller-rama have.

Bliklotep assured them that, with the influence of a Lord in Black being the reason for their presence there, they could be on the same level as Hannah Foster. So they laughed and affirmed that, Hell yeah, living in Hatchetfield would be cool.

Then they woke up.)

So basically... an Isekai without the prerequisite of dying.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Five Little Ducks

Fandom: DC Comics, Batman

Summary: Bruce finds a magically de-aged Jason.

Chapters: 3/13

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Zatanna Zatara

Additional Tags: De-Aged Jason Todd, Magic, Babysitting, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, POV Third Person, Bruce Wayne is Not Okay, Bruce Wayne Tries, Jason Todd Has Issues, Childhood Trauma

Chapter Three: Rubber Duckie

Once the late afternoon rolled around, word got out that Jason had been turned into a child, and soon the manor was filled with life. Bruce sulked in the corner while everyone doted on his little boy. Duke stuck around most of the day, and he finally headed home. Still, the manor was filled with people. Dick came and did a few acro yoga tricks and made noodles for lunch, Steph came and did finger painting with him, and even Tim came around with puzzles. Bruce couldn't help but feel jealous, but he did his best to conceal it. At best, it was nice to see people running around the manor again. Jason made them all young again.

"Mr. Wayne," Jason whispered, tugging on Bruce's sleeve. "Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce snapped back to the present. "What's wrong?" Bruce asked.

Bruce picked Jason up. Jason threw his arms around Bruce's neck and hid his face. "Jason, didn't you have fun today?"

"Yeah... But... I still want you," Jason whispered.

"What's the matter?" Bruce questioned.

"Did something happen to my mommy and daddy?" Jason asked. Bruce didn't answer. "Usually, mommy would be awake by now. Did she get sick again?"

Bruce sat on the couch, holding Jason tight, and he took a deep breath. "Jason, would you like to stay with me for a while?" Bruce questioned. Jason started to cry. "Oh, Jason... I'm so sorry."

Dick came downstairs, looking at Bruce. "What's wrong?" Dick asked. Bruce shook his head.

"Not now, okay?" Bruce whispered as he rubbed Jason's back.

"Jason, I-. I used to think when people died, they were lost... But that's not true. You can always find someone who's died. Once you make someone real, they never stop being real. Your mommy will always exist, even if you can't see her. You can find her in your tears and in your memories and in your heart," Bruce whispered. He bounced Jason on his knee. "These tears are good... Because it means you loved her." Jason looked at Bruce and wiped his tears away.

"Do you think she knew?" Jason asked. Bruce nodded and kissed Jason's forehead without thinking.

"Oh, Jason, I didn't-."

"You're a nice man, Mr. Wayne," Jason whispered. Jason yawned, and Bruce looked at his watch. "I wish I wasn't so sad... I'm sorry."

"It's okay to be sad, Jason," Bruce whispered. Jason closed his eyes and lay his head on Bruce's chest. "It's almost time for bed... How about we call it a night?" Jason nodded. Dick gave Bruce a thumb's up and went upstairs. Bruce waited a few minutes and ran Jason a bath upstairs, still holding his hand. Jason stumbled backward and squeezed Bruce's hand.

"Jason?" Bruce asked as he hurriedly scooped Jason up.

"I'm okay, Mr. Wayne. I tripped," Jason reassured him, "Did I scare you?"

Bruce chuckled and nodded. "Only a little bit," Bruce laughed.

Jason looked up at Bruce. "I'm sorry," Jason giggled. Bruce stood on the opposite side of the stone partition while Jason bathed.

Jason sang the Rubber Duckie song to himself. Bruce held back his laugh. Jason never sang around him before. And he had a lovely voice. Bruce hummed along as Jason sang. He didn't want Jason to feel self-conscious about singing, so he didn't comment.

When he finished his song, he drained the tub and got dressed in his pajamas, and Bruce dried his hair. "Mr. Wayne?" Jason asked.

"Yes, Jason?" Bruce asked.

"Did you tell a fib when you went to my apartment?" Jason questioned. Bruce frowned and nodded.

"I didn't know how to tell you... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you," Bruce apologized, "Adults make so many mistakes, and that was a big one... But you were already frightened last night, and I didn't want to frighten you any more than I already did."

"Thank you for telling the truth," Jason whispered. Bruce nodded.

"Thank you for being so forgiving," Bruce replied while carrying Jason to bed. He started to pull up a chair, and Jason started to cry. He wiped his tears away as they came, trying not to seem fussy, but it broke Bruce's heart. "Jason?"

"Please don't go away," Jason pleaded, "Can you sleep in here?" Bruce kissed the top of Jason's head and climbed in next to him.

"I'm going to tell you a very special story tonight... It's about a man and his little bird," Bruce whispered, "Okay? I'm not leaving you. I'm right here... And I'm gonna tell you a story." Jason breathed as Bruce gestured for him to inhale and exhale until he calmed down. "Ready?"

Jason nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm not asleep. I want to imagine your story in my head," Jason whispered. He hiccupped and apologized. Dick poked his head in the door, and Bruce invited him in.

"There once lived a man who was very sad. He was so sad that most people thought he was angry," Bruce paused, "Until he met a little bird. This little bird had bright colors. Its feathers were brightly colored and chirped louder than all the other birds. He thought that the bird was just angry when he first heard it, but when the man got closer, he saw this bird had an injured wing.

"So, he took the bird home and nursed it back to health... And that bird did a beautiful dance. The dance was so beautiful that some people came far and wide to see this bird dance... And it made the man happy. So happy, he decided to cage the bird and keep it hidden. This was wrong because this type of bird wasn't meant to be locked away. It stopped dancing, and it started chirping louder than all the others.

"So, the man got angry and sent the bird away. He thought he'd be alone forever after that... And so, he became sad all over again.

"That was until he found a second bird. It wasn't as brightly colored or loud as the other bird was, but it got caught in his fence. When he tried to help the bird, it bit him. It didn't make the man angry. It made him laugh. The bird chirped and cried, but it stopped fighting once it was free.

"This bird didn't do a special dance or chirp loudly. No. This bird followed the man everywhere faithfully. It didn't mind being caged. But the man was careless. He left the bird out, and it fell prey to a cat-."

"No," Jason mumbled. Dick looked at Bruce and shook his head.

"But the bird lived. Instead of waiting for the man to return or chirping for help, the bird ran away. The man searched for the bird for many years, hoping to find his beloved friend... But every time he got close, the bird would bite him and fly away, ashamed of its scars.

"In the man's life, he had many birds. All of them were unique, but none were ever like the one he lost. All the other birds came back to see the man and make him smile, but he never forgot his second bird. His second bird was so frightened and ashamed, feeling like it'd never be like all the other birds... But that's what the man loved most. The bird didn't want anything. It only wanted to be loved. He wasn't angry or brightly colored or crafty like the others... He was something so inexplicably beautiful," Bruce whispered. Jason sank down into his pillow, and Dick smiled. They waited to ensure Jason was asleep before Dick stepped toward the bed.

"I'll go out tonight with some of the others... But I hope we can talk about our miniaturized friend here," Dick whispered.

"I don't know what happened to him. All I know is it was a magic spell, and I don't feel like un-shrinking him any time soon," Bruce confessed.

"At least you're being honest with yourself... And you know what? I agree with you. I spent some time with him today and learned so much about him... Did you know his mom used to be a vocal coach before she got sick?" Dick asked. "There are so many things I didn't know about his life before-. He desperately wants someone to love him."

"And I let him down," Bruce whispered.

"We all did... It's not only on you. It's on all of us," Dick replied.

[berestweys]

just finished watching jaesu's JX Identity 20th Anniversary concert (day 3), and am deeply in my feels as we used to say.

i got almost all the things i was hoping for with this show:

full versions of old db5k standards: AND HOW. i did not anticipate that the bulk of the concert would be old songs! what a gift. they killed it. (jae stomping around with all the choreography is simply the delight of my year. my little dance machine, he didn't fall down once!!! thank you junsu for making him do it!)

they sang so many of the old songs it was really stunning actually. opening with rising sun? hug AND balloons??? is purple line a noisy monstrosity of a song? yes. do i love it with every fiber of my being? also yes. did i get emotional watching jaejoong and junsu sing it as a duet in 2024??? GUESS.

and don't even get me started on the ballads. they were many and i was overwhelmed. proud, stand by u, and i believe. begin, why did i fall in love with you, & whatever they say. love in the ice of course. the list goes on.

no, it is not the same as listening to the original db5k versions. but i tell you what. jj & su take their versions just as far as two voices possibly could, and if i hadn't already been unwell for years about the five-part ballads i would not have noticed anything missing. they're that good at their craft. they are SINGERS.

i know it's become a tired refrain, but with my whole chest: fuck sm for silencing them for so many years. we should have had this all along.

jyj songs reworked as duets: only got one? but it's not nothing. empty sure was a choice though. i was hoping for in heaven, so so, or creation, but i'll take what i can get. (for real jx should re-record the entirety of Just Us (minus back seat, thirty, and dad you there) for my happiness and well being.)

tarantallegra or oeo: junsu did not leave me hanging and i got tarantallegra! probably in my top 5 kpop choreos, though i have not sat down and really thought about it to rank them.

both of them showcasing their solo work: they haven't gotten to sing their own songs at the same concert in so long. it was wonderful. wish junsu had sung some of his more recent songs like hana, and wish jae had given us at least one of his older rock songs instead of keeping to the most recent album. but these are quibbles and i loved all the songs they did choose.

crybabies: mixed results. ok this one came as a bit of a shock because jae lost it but junsu didn't? i would have predicted the opposite. jae is not actually much of a crier, but when he cries he CRIES. this was one of those times and honestly thank goodness su kept himself together because jaejoong needed to be shuffled around the stage with someone else's steady hand in support. he was just gone. bless.

things i wanted but did not get:

a new single prepared for the concert: i just want so much more duo music from them after the treat that was 六等星 in 2022. i want an album!!!

intoxication as a slutty duet: i knew it was a long shot. but i wanted it very badly, on behalf of 2012 jamie who was about 75% more unhinged than 2024 jamie pretends not to be.

incredible as a goofy happy good time duet: what can i say, i really want to see jaejoong blundering his awkward baby horse limbs through that choreo. i really thought i might get this one! alas.

any of either of their solo power ballads as a duet: this is the only thing i'm kinda disappointed about. imagine if they'd sung flower or breathing in love or all that glitters or, god, life support together??? i guess it's best they didn't because i would be dead right now.

it was a great concert, 3 hours well spent. feeling like my old school fangirl self right now, very nostalgic. i do love them.

*

[everlastingdream]

The band au

(Song - Hard to say goodbye by Ronde)

"Annabel, she won't come."

Prospero has been saying it the whole time Annabel Lee was peeking through the curtain nervously twirling little flower ring on her finger.

"You told the thugs where her best friend is when you were only reconciled for a week. It's not like Lenore will forgive and forget. Stop it and try to concentrate on the song".

He doesn't understand. She and Lenore are inseparable. This little thing won't come between them, right? Surely, Lenore will realize that Annabel was trying to protect her. Surely. Su-re-ly.

If not for the makeup Annabel would cry her eyes out already. Yes, she messed up. She didn't take into the account that Lenore would be upset because of her new 'friends'.

And now everything is ruined once again. She really thought that Lenore would come by even after their fight. Annabel spent many nights polishing the lyrics and music, trying to pour all her feelings into this chance.

She lost Lenore once again. Like all those years ago, when she threw hurtful words right at the Lenore's pale face.

"You are right, dearest", she answered after just a second too long. Prospero nodded, going past Montressor and Ada who were having their tongues inside each other throats.

They heard crowd cheering and there was just a couple of seconds to return to their positions. Annabel put alluring smile on her face, not feeling it in the slightest.

She didn't even register words she was saying, laughing and winking at the crowd. And when the first notes of the song played, she found herself reminiscing her past with Lenore, trying to overlook dull pain in her chest.

Here we are six years later

I don't know what we're trying to find, to find

We've been dancing with strangers

Could it be we've been wasting our time, our time?

When they met after six years Lenore was cold and reluctant, not even knowing that Annabel hasn't stopped following her every move not even for a moment.

Even when much younger Annabel thought that Lenore was being stupid and arogant and stupid by asking Annabel to stand up to her father and run away without a plan because of love and freedom and everything else.

Even when Lenore looked so happy on the scene with her 'new friends' which left Annabel hurting and betrayed and "you promised I'm the only one whose side you want to stand by".

And definitely not when she finally understood that her sweet naive Lenore thought that Annabel's status of 'princess' was more important than love. And not that Annabel just didn't want to wander without a plan and goal and starve to death in the small van.

Every night I lay in bed

Wish I was with you instead

I can hear you in my sleep

If only we had one more day

Wake up and we'd be okay

I still see you in my dreams

They went to bed at opposite sides of bed after their fight. They locked the door of Annabel's room as usual, so that her father won't catch them in the morning.

And then Annabel woke up alone, cold and shivering without Lenore by her side. Without even a chance to explain that she didn't undermined the suffering Lenore was going through everyday at home. She just needed a little bit more time.

It's hard to say goodbye

Oh, I tried couple million times

Missed a million signs

Oh, yeah, yeah

In these early days, Annabel did try to forget about Lenore. Tried to convince yourself that she's a traitor, that the one who abandoned her didn't deserve forgiveness. That she didn't love her.

But perhaps she should've understand that it's not going to work, when she lovingly traced Lenore's face in their photos.

Something about you made me try

And I don't know why

Oh I don't know why

It's hard to say goodbye

Annabel really tried to become a better person, as to deserve Lenore, who was only real thing in her life. But her 'better person' and Lenore's just wasn't a same thing.

When we talk, days are fading

Annabel gasped in the microphone without any restraint when behind her familiar raspy voice sang the first line. She clung on the stand feeling light-headed.

I don't know what you're saying

My love, my love

Annabel felt like crying despite all the makeup. Hearing her favorite voice in the world calling her 'love' once again, was so right but still so painful.

These words Lenore said to her when she learned that it was Annabel who told collectors where the Duke is. Even if they planned to ambush Lenore to find out.

Yeah, I know times are changing

When I leave, I'm still staying

Two hearts, so lost

Annabel heard Lenore coming closer, but still couldn't find it in herself to look at her. It was her words, the ones she wanted to say to her love, but hearing it from Lenore made her think of many possibilities.

Does she mean she forgave her? Does it mean she still loved her?

Every night I lay in bed

Wish I was with you instead

I can hear you in my sleep

Hand carefully lowered on her waist and Annabel found herself instinctively leaning into the body behind. Really, even if she wanted to pull away (which is absurd) she would still be drawn to that warmth.

It's hard to say goodbye

Oh, I tried couple million times

Missed a million signs

Oh, yeah, yeah

Annabel heard a little laugh in her voice, which sounded a little sad and helpless. Annabel finally turned her head, looking at her life's only love. Lenore was softly smiling, even if her eyes was still filled with pain.

Something about you made me try

And I don't know why

Oh I don't know why

It's hard to say goodbye

There was Duke and Pluto behind the curtain, shaking their heads with smirks, ignoring Montressor's scowl. Prospero looked a bit surprised, but in the end he just shrugged with small nod.

But it was nothing when she and Lenore started the last bridge and chorus side by side, looking deep into each other's eyes.

It's hard to say goodbye

Oh I tried couple million times

Missed a million signs

Oh, yeah, yeah

But something about you made me try

And I don't know why

Oh, I don't know why

It's hard to say goodbye

Their fans went wild. Their theories about two leading singers finally confirmed.

And Annabel and Lenore didn't even moved an inch, still just a little too close, air between them just a little too hot, breath just a little too hard.

"I am still mad at you", Lenore said lowering her head just a bit.

"Of course", Annabel answered, draging her all the way down by the lapels of her jacket to kiss her right on the scene, surrounded by the flickering light and thunderous applause.

[searchingforserendipity25]

@finweanladiesweek. day 4. finduilas & idril

1.

finduilas was never going to get out of this story alive.

it is a hard lesson for a young maiden to learn, but on the burning shores of the sirion she learned it all through the long retreat. the smoke moved like a living creature, and the fire was nothing so much as garthour's will extended. the air smoked of blood, bone-ash, dying grass, groaning stones.

orodreth held the tower as long as he could, but his daughter was sent away with the first refugees. because the way to nargothrond was long and winding, and the pursuit relentless, finduilas' guards took many days to find shelter.

she looked backwards many times, over hill and crag, riding through the aspen country, ever-fearful. it was because she looked back that she saw them. fair and golden, vaster than even the songs had told, the great eagles of manwë crossed the very edge of the horizon.

finduilas' heart leapt, for a moment, high enough that she could taste her own hope. had improbable rescue not come before already to the noldor, at the time of greatest despair? had not the princes of her people been brought to salvation unlooked for? orodreth might live; her people might leave, the tower might be retaken, the crops sown once again, the rot sang out of the land --

the eagles crossed the very edge of the horizon. they took the high roads of the sky, where the wind was fiercest. their great wings cut the sick yellow of the smoke clouds like knifes. they flew past it, and did not look back.

this, then, was the doom of the noldor, as much as the great battlefields, the poisoning cold, the impossibly crowded barracks of melkor's thralls.

this: the rider clad in grey linens and black soot, the lady all lonesome on the crest of the hill. finduilas was never going to get out of this story alive; maidens who look back never do.

2.

they waited as long as they could. the tower faced the sea, was built to enlarge its echoes. tuor could not sleep, now, without that song to lull him, and even his dreams were dark, damp, blue-lit.

silver found its way to his beard, the fur of his chest, the back of his clever hands; then his temples. some days he woke coughing, spitting out mouthfuls of salt.

they waited as long as they could: until idril said, enough. said: we with our backs to the sea are as the hare against the fence. said: i will have you dead of ancient age or a bad plague or morgoth's spears, but not this.

'no hope have we here; westwards i shall go, and make the speeches my father lent his mariners,' idril said.

she stood in the fullness of her height, hair braided for ruling, her bare hands upon the maps laid out on her great table. all the rings she owned were the ones she had worn on the feast that became gondolin's wake; all of them she had passed, one after another, to her son and her son's wife; to her vassals.

they stood also, the last lords of the white city. legolas pressed his palms together in prayer, rog was very still, dangerous contention barely at bay.

her husband looked at her, and the relief in his eyes was dearer to her than all the feasting and treasures lost to the balrogs and the dragons.

her son alone of all the gathered wept. but her son always wept a great deal. at times ulmondil's son seemed to his mother made up of water as much as flesh. for him too idril built the ship, and for the sake of young elwing's fledgling queenship.

tuor embraced all his friends; idril blessed all her servants. their son sang over the tiller, and elwing raised high the farewell pennants.

they went west. the west would not have them.

adrift, their vessel wandered from strange island to strange island. foul fogs trapped them; ossë's whims overtook them, his queer jealousy of ulmo's friends won over only over many a swell and many a quest. becalming days kept them trapped for fortnights with no wind to stir the sails.

and none of it mattered, none of it - for tuor's voice sang salt out of the water, tuor's webs caught fish often, tuor slept well on the berth under the stars, tuor's cough grew even and faded.

tuor's silver hairs shone under the pitiless sun, marvelous to idril's eyes, wondrous under her hands; petulant ossë dragged their ship away from the doldrums whenever they started to enjoy each other's closeness too much, spraying them for their laughter.

longing wounded sharply, fear clogged the hours of uncertain charting. the sea was their friend; but the sea was not an easy friend to have, not constant in its mood or reliable in its boons.

they traded stories, sang together, crafted little things to gift each other, engraved the walls of their cabins and the pantry and the mast, too: chased each other like trapped cats, at times, imprisoned together without relief. old griefs rose; harsh words caught the edge of the wind and cut close to the skin.

it was never long, before they reconciled; but it was never simple to sit down, hold a hand, weep for the pain they shared and the children left behind, their maddening odyssey and its mad estel.

all the same. tuor grew old, not ill. away from shore, caught between worlds, idril did laugh: at night, when the rigging was set, and there were new sun-spots to count on tuor's cheeks, idril did not think of gondolin.

westwards, always. their course was set to hope most necessary, hope most dire, hope unanswered. in urgency they had sought to evade grief and disaster from their kin, and grief and disaster came, on swords raised by their own kin.

idril and tuor know this not. none can say where they sail still; but ëarendil in his far journeys to give guidance to lost sailors peers often downwards into the wide sea, seeking for a glimmer of fair braids, an old man's silver head.

[danceswithsporks]

Calm Part 5

Part 2 of 6 in the Complete Series!

Wrecker x Seamstress!Reader

Parts 1 2 3 4

Authors Notes: phew! This chapter was so fast only because I had pre-written most of it about two months ago! I’ve been waiting for this chapter for so long to finally post! I really do appreciate all of you reading, liking and sharing it! Everyday I see new ppl liking and sharing it which makes me love what I’m doing so much!

Chapter about: Some long overdue truths are revealed.

Calm, it was so uncomfortably calm. None of the seabirds sang, the waves sounded miles away and even the Marauder's engines had died down. It was too quiet and calm for anything to be ok. Your eyes scanned the area around you until you found Chai.

Connecting the dots between why she was a sobbing, crumpled mess and the missing clone didn’t take you long. Tech had somehow been lost. How? You didn’t know and honestly didn’t care. Right now, all you cared about was Wrecker and Omega. You made your way across the courtyard quickly, ignoring the looks of the other clones as they watched you with sadness in their eyes, your condolences would be given later. For now, you just needed to be next to the two beneath the tree.

You didn’t speak as you knelt carefully in the grass next to Wrecker, his eyes still closed as he held the blonde against his chest. You could see by the way he was holding himself that he was trying to be strong for her. Reaching your hand out, you gently ran it against Wrecker's cheek, making him slowly look toward you. His eyes were so red and puffy. It pained your heart so much to see him like this. Your thumb ran across the scar on the side of his face and beneath his bad eye. “Oh, Wrecker.” Left you in a whisper.

Being strong in front of Omega was hard, painful, and nearly impossible. But after everything she’d been through, she’d deserved the time to cry without him fueling it. Tech had always told them that her emotions were fueled by those around her and they’d seen that proven more than once. So for once, Wrecker buried his feelings. Until you showed up. Your hand against his cheek was the comfort he needed. So many times over the last few weeks he’d thought about you more times than he could count. How he’d let you know his brother was gone and the clothing you’d been painstakingly working on for him would be going to waste. How he’d have to explain that he’d been too weak to pull his brother up to safety and had to watch him die. That thought alone continued to plague him. Your thumb ran across his cheek and wiped away a few stray tears and he felt the walls he was struggling to hold begin to crumble. But it was when you stared at him with those loving and caring eyes and whispered those two words, did they finally came crashing down. Unable to fight it anymore, he buried his face into the crook of your neck and sobbed quietly.

You fought back your tears as you placed a hand against the back of his head and rubbed it carefully, your other hand finding Omegas and holding it. How long ago did it happen? How long had they been grieving already? How long had he, all of them, been putting on a strong front for Omega? “It’s ok.” You whispered to Wrecker as you placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “I’m here.” A few tears trickled down your cheeks as you tried to be strong for the two you’d come to care for so much. “I’m here.” You felt a squeeze from Omega as another muffled sob left the girl. It was an uncomfortable position, but you’d stay in it as long as you needed to.

-*-

Nearly twenty minutes later Omega and Wrecker had both finally stopped crying. But you knew from experience that it wouldn’t be for long.

“Thank the maker that you got my message.” Hunter's voice was soft and low as he approached from the ship. The final checks were done and the Marauder was secured.

“Wait, you sent me that message?” So it hadn’t been Wrecker. Now the tone made so much more sense. You watched as Hunter nodded. “Why?”

Hunter sighed softly while looking at his siblings. “Cause I knew they needed you. Everyone was managing well before we made the final jump to Pabu. Think the realization of being here without Tech finally hit everyone. Just don’t know what to do anymore.” He’d tried for so long to calm Omega down while helping Wrecker keep his head. Hunter hated to admit it, but he was out of ideas on what to do. “I had a feeling you’d been waiting for a message from him, so I sent the message from his datapad.”

You stroked Omega's hair with one hand while rubbing Wrecker's back with the other. If the two were listening then they didn’t let it be known. For all you could tell, they were sleeping as they'd gone quiet. “I’ve got them tonight.” Was whispered. Your hands protectively around them both. “Go get some sleep.”

Hunter let out a long sigh as he rubbed one of his eyes. He was so tired. “Thank you.” Kneeling beside you, he placed a kiss on the top of Omega's head and placed a hand on Wrecker's shoulder where he squeezed it tightly.

You watched as he stood and before he could turn to walk away, you reached out and took his hand in yours. “ Hunter, thanks for messaging me and….I’m sorry.” He bit his lip and nodded to you before patting the back of your hand. Then he was gone with the others.

The thought of them being asleep was quickly pushed away as Wrecker pulled away from you slightly. You didn’t let him get far though. Reaching up with both hands, you cradled his face. You pressed your forehead against his and sighed softly. “Let’s go home.”

Wrecker was too tired and too drained to say no. Already he could feel himself becoming numb and from the way Omega was dropping her head, he could tell she was just as drained. With a nod, he sat back and watched as you stood.

You stretched your stiff joints for a moment before offering your hand to him. When he finally took it, you leaned back and allowed your body weight to help pull him up. He easily pulled Omega up and into his arms and rested her against him with one arm. Her sleepy head rested against his chest as her eyes fought to stay open. You slid your hand back into his hanging one and slowly you began the descent to your place.

The ten-minute walk felt like thirty as you walked in silence. Never had you heard him this quiet for so long, the same went for Omega. Seeing them both like this made your heart sit in your stomach like a rock. You understood the feelings they were experiencing all too well and knew that they’d be due for another wave of crying soon enough. All you could do was get them home, cleaned, fed, and in bed. Even if they didn’t want to do half of those things, you’d be there to help.

Wrecker remembered to duck as he entered your home behind you. The first thing he’d noticed was that you’d cleaned and moved out many of the boxes that used to clutter the main part of your home. The second was the six stacks of clothing waiting on your counter. The color scheme of the batch was easy to see and he felt that pain in his chest once more. “You finished.”

You followed his gaze to the stacks and nodded. “Yeah, a few days ago.” Stepping forward, you ran your hand against Omega's arm. “Omega? Let’s get you settled first?” You felt bad for waking the poor girl up. But from the looks of her it had been a while since she’d last showered and going to bed dirty wouldn’t help her through this.

Omega groggily opened her eyes before nodding. With a pat on Wrecker's chest, she was lowered to the ground. She watched as you turned and picked up one of the stacks of clothes. “Are those…for me?”

“Yes.” Your hand ran across the top outfit, a dress that Tech and Chai had thought she’d look nice in. “You can look through it all tomorrow. For now...” You moved a few of the garments before stopping and pulling a pair of shorts and a top out. “I made you some new pajamas.” Looking at Wrecker, you smiled softly. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Omega took the pajamas from you and ran her hand over the material. It was so soft and light, no doubt it would be more comfortable to sleep in than the old clothes she’d been sleeping in. She opened her mouth to thank you but you were already walking toward a room. Your words to Wrecker let her know that you wanted her to follow you, and so she did.

Once inside the room, you shut the door and placed the stack of clothes on the dresser. “In the ‘fresher that’s connected to this room, you’ll find a towel and some shower supplies designed for girls. Take as long as you want to shower. Once you're done, I’ll have some food and water waiting for you.” You stepped over to her and helped her pull off her dirty and tattered jacket. Tomorrow you would wash it and fix the holes up for her.

“I’m not hungry.” Came as a whisper from Omega as she watched you carefully place the jacket down. You moved to the dresser and opened the top drawer, pulling a brush out before you closed the drawer once more.

“That’s fine.” Came softly as you moved around her and carefully began to run the brush through her blonde locs. “At least drink the water. It’ll help stop you from having a headache in the morning.” Satisfied that her hair was knot-free, you placed the brush on the bed and moved in front of her. “Even if you simply pick at the food, it will be good to put something in your stomach. ‘Kay?”

“W-why are you being so nice?” The young clone leaned her head against the hand that you had placed against her cheek. You were always nice to her, like a big sister, but this seemed even nicer than usual. No jokes or funny remarks had been made since they’d returned.

A long sigh left you as you moved a strand of hair out of her face. “Because I know exactly what you’re going through. The pain that you're feeling.”

“You do?” When you nodded slowly, a sad half smile on your lips, her bottom lip began to tremble again. “H-how?”

Your heart hurt so much for the poor girl. “I’ll tell you another day. But know that I do understand.” Wrapping your hand around hers, you pulled her into a tight hug and held her close for a few moments. “Now, please go take a shower. I’m going to take care of your brother now.” Releasing her, you began to turn and head towards the door, but her hand stopped you.

“There’s something you should know.” Omega chewed her lip as you looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. “He… watched Tech die.”

“Oh.” Your heart shattered hearing that. It was hard to swallow the massive lump in your throat as you nodded to the child. “Thank you for letting me know.” You felt like that would be the end of the conversation, but she continued to hold your hand. “Yes, Omega?”

“Will he…” Omega choked back a few sobs that were already fighting to come out. “Will he be ok?” Wrecker was far from his normal self since everything had happened. It was like a piece of him fell with Tech.

It was hard to say. You knew from experience that people could go many ways while recovering from something like this. Already you could see that Wrecker was lost in his mind. Losing himself to the dark pull of his thoughts. But how could you say something like this to this sweet girl? You let out a long breath before forcing a smile. “He will with time.” You watched as the girl nodded while you pulled away. “If you need us, just call out.”

-*-

Wrecker sat in silence on your couch, his mind continuing to berate him for falling to pull Tech up and failing to keep Omega safe. He was the strongest in the group and he’d failed at being just that, strong. He’d sworn to himself that he’d keep it together until he was in the privacy of your room or the shower, not crying in front of the kid and making her more upset. But how could he hide his weakness from you when you showed him so much care and worry?

“Wrecker?” Your voice cut through the uncomfortable silence of the room. When he didn’t look up at you, you sighed and closed the space between the two of you. “Come on, time to shower.” You held your hand out to him once again, but this time he didn’t take it.

How could he tell you that Tech died because he’d been too weak to pull him up? To catch him before he fell? He’d promised to always catch you and anyone else he’d cared for and yet here he’d failed. He was a failure and a man not deserving of all this kindness you were giving him. You spoke to him but the words didn’t phase him in the slightest. To him it was like you weren’t even there, the darkness in his mind taking control of everything.

So that’s where he was at. You took a deep breath and took his hand in yours. Once again you used your body weight to pull him. He didn’t fight you at all. If this was any other moment, you may have felt hurt by the silence surrounding you both. But you had first-hand experience on what he was going through and you’d give him whatever time he needed to talk. Instead, you led him towards your room and the refresher within, making sure to lock your door in the process.

Wrecker stood in the center of your refresher as you moved calmly around his large body. A few candles were lit before the sound of the shower turning on filled the room. You vanished for a moment into the bedroom before returning with the wooden stool from your dressing table. It clicked quietly against the tiled floor of the shower as you placed it down before returning to the silent clone's side. No words were spoken from either of you as you slowly slid your hands around his armor and found the latches holding each piece to the other. Loud thunks and clanks echoed in the room as each plastoid piece fell to the floor.

The armor now gone, he stood before you in just his pants and black top. His boots had already been removed by the time you’d returned to him in the living room. Your hands moved slowly over his dirty and stained clothing, watching for any signs that he wanted you to stop. When no such sign came, you started to remove his shirt. A small gasp left you as you took in the new scars and still-healing bruises that littered his torso. “Oh, Wrecker.” What had he gone through? What happened out there?

Wrecker wanted to talk to you, to tell you everything, and bare his heart to you. But how could he when his mind was telling him that you’d leave him the moment you knew what had happened? His heart knew that wasn’t true, you weren’t like that. But the darkness in his mind was screaming so much louder. So he let you continue what you were doing instead. Dark, sad eyes watched the way you slowly moved around him, your eyes connecting with his every few moments before you looked back to your hands. Never once did you ask or demand an answer on what happened. You just silently undressed him.

His clothes were removed, and you took his hand and led him into the waiting embrace of the warm shower. The water soaked your clothes as you helped him sit on the stool. Satisfied that he wasn’t going to just slide off, you took a moment to undress and throw your soaking clothes outside the shower. You would have usually expected him to throw his hands all over your body the moment your nude form stood before him. That’s how you knew he wasn’t okay, he wasn’t remotely phased by your breasts in grabbing distance.

You watched as the dirt and grime and, what you hoped wasn’t his, blood washed off his body and down the drain. Trails left by the water littered his body allowing the bruises beneath to be even more visible. Around his neck is where you could make out the more angry-looking bruises, making you inhale and fight back tears. You couldn’t cry right now, you had to be the rock he needed. Grabbing your bottle of soap that you knew he loved the smell of, you lathered a washcloth and slowly but gently dragged it across his shoulders.

The lump in your throat continued to grow as more and more of his skin was cleaned and revealed. You’d studied every inch of him before he’d left and the sheer number of new cuts and scars made your heart almost shatter. After nearly ten minutes of silent washing, you finally broke the silence.

“When I was Omega’s age I watched my parents be killed in front of me.” You felt him tense beneath your hand. A subtle sign that he was listening. You continued to wash his back and arms as you spoke. “We traveled a lot when I was a child. Been to almost every major planet in the galaxy. Naboo, Taris, Alderaan, and especially Coruscant. That was always my favorite place to go since my aunt lived there. My father always wanted me to have a worldly view of everything. Didn’t want some random guy to try and convince me that Tattoine was some magical great place to sweep me off my feet.” He shifted beneath your hands and you could swear you heard a small chuckle leave him. “Mom used the trips as a chance to research new styles and we also used the time to get supplies for the island. We spent more time off the planet than we did on Pabu. It was great. I loved being in the stars and seeing all the galaxy had to offer. My father was even showing me how to fly our ship.” The lump in your throat felt like it was the size of a grapefruit. “It was…one of those magical trips where I lost everything.” Moving around to the front of him, you knelt and began to run the soapy cloth over his thick legs. “We were returning from Coruscant with a whole cargo full of fabric and supplies the island needed. I guess someone must have seen us loading because they attacked us as soon as we left Coruscant's jurisdiction. My father let me take over flying as soon as we were away from the other ships. I guess he thought we would be safe since we were still around Coruscant. He was wrong.”

“They were pirates…and slave traders.” You froze for a moment remembering the oil and dirt smell on one of them. His leg shifted slightly against your touch, hopefully, that meant he was still listening. “Their ship was larger and faster than ours. They docked and forced the airlock open. My mother didn’t even have time to scream before they’d put a blaster shot through her head. My father tried to protect me but they just shot his leg. They forced him to watch as their leader inspected the cargo…and me.” A shiver ran down your spine at the phantom feeling of the scaled fingers of the pirate lord. “Only after their leader was satisfied that I was…pure, did he offer my father the chance to sell me to him. When my father refused.” Your grip around the washcloth tightened and you forced down the terrified sob trying to escape. “They put a blaster in his mouth and…and made him choose. His life for my freedom. Or they’d force my father to watch as they each…” your voice cracked as you forced out the word. “Polluted me.” Wrecker's leg jerked slightly and you felt his heel slide around one of your legs, holding you close in his own way. “They lied to him. He hadn’t even been dead for a second before they were discussing how much I could sell for. A pure youngling. What pervert could resist that? I’d sell for millions they said, if not billions if they found the right buyer. They were about to load me onto their ship when someone blew up their ship. It was a Jedi, back when they protected everyone instead of leading a war.” Beneath your grip, Wrecker adjusted once more. This time he’d moved the stool closer to you, trying to be the looming safety you once told him he was.

The washcloth was lowered from him and you settled onto your heels. Avoiding his gaze, if he was even looking at you, you continued. “I don’t remember his name, the Jedi who saved me, just that he was a Nautolan with green skin, like his saber. He helped me get home, I don’t know what happened to our ship and I’ve never left the planet since then.” You visibly shook off the weight of your tale before standing up and moving to rinse the suds off of him. “Phee took me in after it happened. She and my Aunt planned the funeral and anything dealing with the array of the pirates. The Jedi had killed all but two and the leader. They were tried for their crimes and executed from what my Aunt told me. I didn’t go to the execution or anything that would have made me leave the planet. During that time I…I wasn’t good. I had nightmares about failing to fly my parents to safety. Or that if I hadn’t begged to fly, my father would have seen them and maybe we would have escaped. Most importantly I just hated myself. Why did I get to live while the two people who’d given me life, raised me, and where all around good people have to die while I was forced to live? Why didn’t he just kill me then and there? Those and hundreds more questions filled every space they could find in my mind. I barely ate or drank or slept and Phee began to worry. It was a year before I even stepped foot into my own home again. All I wanted to do..was die. That's all my mind kept telling me to do. Die, stop being a burden on Phee and the others. They had enough on their plates without also having to worry about some teen who couldn’t even save her parents. To me, I was useless and a failure.” You clicked the water off with a sigh before walking around Wrecker and grabbing one of the two towels you’d set outside the shower. “It took me finally talking to Phee and the island doctor to fully handle what happened and even then I wasn’t back to normal right away. It took time just to realize that I had people who wanted to be there for me and help me. That I wasn’t useless…or weak.”

The towel was wrapped around your torso before you pulled the other one into the shower and pulled him to standing. “I don’t know what happened out there and I’m not going to force you to tell me. I just want you to know that I am here to listen when you’re ready to talk.” Carefully, you wrapped the towel around his waist and secured it. “And that no matter what, you are not weak, you are not useless and…” you lifted his hand to your cheek and kissed his palm. “Oh Wrecker, you are so very loved.”

His thumb ran across your cheekbone slowly, wiping a few stray tears from your skin. It was his silent way of telling you he’d heard you and you’d take it for now. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He followed you obediently to your bed where you instructed him to lay down. The blanket was pulled over him while you placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. “I'm going to check on Omega. Please get some sleep.” If he was ready to talk in the morning then that’s when you’d talk. But for now, he just deserved to sleep in the safety of your home. “I’ll be back soon.” His hand reached out and grabbed yours as you turned to leave.

“Thank you.” Was all that came from him before his eyes began to close and he relaxed slightly into the comfort of your bed. He wasn’t too sure if he’d sleep that night, he truly couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept peacefully, but knowing you were close and being surrounded by your scent would be enough to help him right now.

You stood in the doorway and watched him for a little bit. “I’m glad you’re home.” Even if he’d returned to you under the worst of circumstances. He was home and now it was your job to guide him through this. You carefully let the door shut and turned your focus to what you could do to help.

-*-

3 hours later

“Wrecker!”

Omega’s scream had you sprinting from your room to hers in an instant. Worried that she’d wake her sleeping brother. “Hey, hey. It’s ok.” You cooed to her softly while entering her room and approaching the bed. The still damp and frazzled hair of hers let you know that she’d showered and you could make out a sandwich missing two small bites. So she’d eaten some of the sandwich and taken a few sips out of the water you’d placed down.

“Where’s Wrecker?” Her brown eyes darted side to side for a moment, worry settling into her.

How much had she seen out there? What had she gone through to be this terrified? “He’s ok. He’s asleep in our bed.” You held your hand out to her. “Do you want to go check?” When she nodded, you forced a smile and led the way. Her hand held yours tightly during the short walk, perhaps worried this was all a dream. You poked your head in first to make sure the clone was covered before opening it more for her to see.

She quietly took a peek and sighed when she saw him asleep with an almost peaceful look on his face. “Has he said anything yet?”

“No. But that’s ok.” You crossed your arms and leaned against the doorway. “When any of you are ready to talk about what happened, I’ll be here.”

Omega stepped towards Wrecker and noticed you’d left the same tray of food for him. The only difference between her and him was that he’d eaten more of his sandwich than she had. “Don’t you want to know?” She whispered before running her finger across her brother's cheek. She took in his Lula tightly against his chest. So he’d left it with you, that made sense.

“I do.” Shrugging as you pushed off the doorframe and made your way over to her, you ran your fingers carefully through her hair. “But forcing any of you to talk about it before you’re ready would just make things worse.” Your voice was low while you spoke, not wanting to wake your sleeping giant. Taping your lips, you motioned for her to follow you out of the room.

“Oh.” She hadn’t expected that. When she first arrived at Mount Tantiss, Hemlock, and Nala Se had wanted to know everything up until that point. Though Omega had omitted Pabu. Opting to choose some outer rim planet she’d seen on the star chart. The door closed with a quiet hiss behind her and she took the opportunity to rub her arm. “Could I tell you what happened?”

You’d turned to head to the kitchen to get her more water when she’d asked her question. Fighting the urge to automatically say yes, you instead thought for a moment. “Is that what you want to do?” When she shyly nodded, you took a breath. “Ok, well I think we’ll need some hot chocolate first.”

-*-

Wrecker woke up in the early morning of the following day in a sleepy haze. How long had he slept? Wasn’t the sun just barely down when you’d all returned to your home? Turning in the bed, he expected to see you peacefully next to him. But you weren’t. Wrecker sat up quickly and looked around as the fear began to set in him. Where were you? “Sarad?” His eyes caught a pair of pajama pants on the edge of the bed with his 99 shirt. You must have left them for him.

The floor creaked beneath his feet as he stepped out of the room and towards the main area. The faint smell of caf and chocolate lingered in the air as early morning rays of the sun streamed through your curtains. On the couch, curled up into your side was Omega while you slept sitting up. Two half-drunk cups sat on the table near your feet as well as a tray of cookies, crumbs indicating that some had been removed. You looked so at peace with his sister curled into you, your protective arm holding her close. It was hard to believe that you’d been through so much and yet you now seemed like the happiest person he knew.

He’d heard everything you’d shared the night before, every dark and painful truth about what had happened to you and your parents. To know that you’d been so deep into the darkness, so lost to your thoughts that you’d stated that you wanted to die. It channeled something within him, pulled him from whatever daze he’d been lured into by his dark thoughts. If you could use the support of those around you to pull through this then maybe he could. It had been a thought that had raced through his mind all night. His dreams and nightmares were littered with conflicting thoughts of good and bad. That he was weak and useless against the knowledge that he was strong and needed.

“You are so very loved.”

What did you mean by that? Did that mean you loved him? That you were in love with him? When his sleep wasn’t being attacked by these conflicting thoughts, they were about you and how you cared for him so deeply. How you’d bathed him and fed him and cared for him when he felt at his absolute lowest. You were his rock.

“Mesh’la?” Wrecker sat next to you on the couch and gently stroked your cheek. A hum left your lips as your head turned and faced his. His heart fluttered at the sight of your precious eyes staring at him. That warmth and safety within them pulled him close once more. All around you that air of calmness drowned the twisting, swirling chaos of the darkness within him. “Hello, gorgeous.”

You hadn’t expected to see him up and about so soon, but waking to that cinnamon eye staring at you with love and adoration made you so unbelievably happy. “Wrecker.” He hummed at the way you sighed his name and your heart beat faster. “Welcome home.”

Home. It was hard to think that he had a home again. After the fall of Kamino, he hadn’t thought it possible to find a place to call home where he felt as safe and calm as he did with you. To know you called this place his home made a light inside him glow. “I’m sorry…” his words were cut by your hand cupping his cheek and stroking it gently.

“Don’t apologize. Omega told me what she could.” Before the poor thing broke down and cried herself to sleep. “When you’re ready. I’ll be here to listen.” Wrecker leaned forward and kissed your cheek gently before asking if you two could speak outside. Nodding, you carefully extracted Omega from your side and laid her down on the couch before covering her up.

He watched the way you stroked her hair and ensured she was comfortable. The motherly way you fawned over the girl and adjusted things around the couch and table so that she could be more comfortable. This was what having a home was like, wasn’t it? Someone waiting there for them that cared about them more than anything. Someone who looked out for them and listened to their woes?

Wrecker took your hand and led you to the private courtyard where the early morning sun warmed you against the cool morning dew. Seeing him out of bed and speaking to you was a sign that you’d gotten through to him a little. You placed your hands on the cool, wet stones of the wall and waited for him to speak. Instead, his strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close, his face burying into your neck and inhaling your scent. A long sigh left you as you savored the feeling of him being close once more. “I missed you so much, Wrecker.” Your heart clenched as the words left you. So much fear and anxiety over what was happening to him out there was breaking free from you and you were doing all you could to keep from crying.

But of course, he saw through you.

“I’m sorry it took so long to get back to you. That I didn’t message you to let you know what was happening.” He felt you shift in his arms and your jaw moved to say something. Squeezing your side, he stopped the words so he could continue. “I should have been honest with you about what had happened and our plan moving forward. When we lost Tech it felt like everything had come crashing down. That everything I’ve known since I could walk was suddenly wrong. I wasn’t strong enough, I wasn’t brave enough, I didn’t catch him.” You wiggled in his arms and turned to face him, your sweet eyes watering as you listened to him. “Then the person we went to for help betrayed us and we lost Omega and it just reaffirmed that I wasn’t able to keep the ones I cared for safe.” His thumb ran across your cheek slowly, moving the tears away. “It made me worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep you safe as well.”

“Those thoughts are powerful, aren’t they?” You nuzzled into his hand and savored the feeling of his touch.

Wrecker nodded before continuing. “I felt it the most yesterday when we neared Pabu. When I realized that we’d need to tell Chai what happened…and you. I couldn’t face you being disappointed in me. I made a promise to keep you and everyone else safe…I failed, Stitches.” His hand slipped into yours and held it tight. “But then last night, you said so much that made me realize how I hadn’t failed, that it was my brain telling me I had.” Pulling you into his arms, he hugged you. “Thank you for sharing with me what happened. It made me feel like you understand what’s happening in here.” He tapped the side of his head. “Will you…continue to stay by my side? I don’t think I’m back to normal yet.”

So he had heard you last night. Your words had gotten through to him and you’d finally shared your story with him. His request made you smile softly. “Oh my love, I’ll always be by your side. However long it takes.” Your hand rested above his heart and for a moment you thought you felt it beat faster.

‘My love’ there were those words again. His forehead pressed against yours as he closed his eyes. “I love you.” He hadn’t meant to say it so suddenly. But the way you called him ‘My love’ just unlocked something within him. Yes, he was your love and you were his. He wouldn’t leave Pabu again, not without you.

A surprised giggle left you while he nuzzled against your forehead. “Hey, I was supposed to say that first. I’ve been planning on saying it for weeks now.” But it did feel amazing to hear him say it.

Wrecker chuckled softly while brushing his lips against yours. “Do you want me to take it back so you can say it first?”

You quickly shook your head while biting your lip. “No way. You’ll just have to think of a way to make it up to me.”

“Oh, I could think of a few ways.” Wrecker nipped at your bottom lip while lifting you off the ground.

“Are you two going to kiss?” Omega's voice broke the romantic air around the two of you. She’s been woken up by the loss of warmth from your body. “Does ‘I love you’ mean you two are going to get married now?”

“Omega!” Wrecker shook his head. Apparently, Omega had also been dipping into Hunter's romance holos. He pressed his lips against yours for a moment, savoring the early morning taste of your lips. Lips that he’d missed so much while he was gone. How could he truly think the owner of these lips would think him weak or a failure? After a few delicious moments against your lips, he pulled away. “Sorry about her.”

Your head spun from the way he kissed you. How those strong arms held you off the ground so easily and how it felt like every nerve in your body was reactivating after being in a long sleep. “It’s ’Kay.” Was mumbled from you as you tried to stop yourself from taking his lips back into yours. Making out in front of his sister wasn’t exactly on your list of things to do. He set you back down on the ground where you stumbled slightly before regaining your footing. With a quick fix of your hair, you cleared your throat and hoped that your cheeks weren’t too red. “It just means that we care about one another a lot.”

“And that we need to go over what Tech says about listening’ to other people’s conversations.” Wrecker bit his lip as he realized what he’d said. The last thing he wanted to do was remind the fragile child that he was gone. “Omega…”

“It’s ok.” She moved across the grass and stood next to the two of you. “Tech would have lectured me about how it’s not ok to eavesdrop and that it tends to lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings.” The young blonde's throat began to tighten, tears trying to force their way out of her. Your smooth hand slid into hers making her look up at you.

There was a hitch to her voice that let you know she was fighting the urge to cry. “It’s okay to cry.” Brown eyes stared into yours, surprise resting inside of them. “It’s okay to yell, scream, punch something, and even swear. Though, maybe do that here only, don’t need to freak poor Hunter out. No matter what, it’s better than holding it all in and letting it build up.” You led her over to the chairs and motioned for her to sit down. When she did, you continued. “It took me weeks to talk about what happened when my parents died. During that time I became angry at the ones who just wanted to help me. One day I stubbed my toe in Phee’s kitchen and I just…collapsed. Everything came rushing out of me. I screamed and cried and broke a fair number of plates that I’m still paying her back for. After I had calmed down though, I realized how much lighter I felt. Keeping it all bottled up was making me heavier and angrier.”

“Every time I hear his name I start to get sad again.” Her small thumb stroked the back of yours while she looked at your hands. “Will that ever go away?” You mentioned your parents a lot and didn’t seem too upset when you did. How long would it be until she got to that point?

You hummed in thought for a moment before nodding. “It’s different for everyone. It took me a long time to hear my parents name or even look at pictures of them. Most days are good and I can easily talk about them with others or think about the good times. But I still have some bad days. If I walk by my father's favorite fishing spot or smell something that reminds me of my mother's perfume I’ll have a moment.” Large thick fingers threaded through your free hand and held it gently.

Omega wondered how long it would take for her to reach that point. To be able to step foot on the marauder without breaking down. She missed her brother so much. Sure he was hard on her when it came to her studies, but she always knew he just wanted her to be smart. “Other than that, you’re ok?” She watched you shift awkwardly.

“Well…yes and no.” Omega raised an eyebrow to your response and you realized it was time to be honest. “Because of what happened, I developed a fear…of starships.” You swallowed. “I haven’t left the planet since my parents' death.”

“Not even once?” The blonde's eyes widened at the new information. “You’ve never wanted to leave?” She wasn’t entirely sure what had happened to make you afraid to leave the planet, but as someone who never left her home until recently, she found it hard to believe you never wanted to leave.

You pulled your hands from both Omega and Wrecker before slapping your thighs and standing up. “Oh I’ve wanted to leave, but every time I step on a ship I begin to panic and have to step off.” It was hard to explain to a child, even one as brilliant as Omega, it was all so delicate.

Wrecker had remembered you stating you hadn’t left the planet since their death, but he hadn’t realized it was due to fear and not desire. After what happened though, could he blame you? He couldn’t bring your parents back or get revenge on the pirates who’d killed them. But perhaps he could help in other ways. “How about we continue this later?” He stood and walked behind you, his arm circling your waist and pulling you close. “I’m starving and have missed the best food in the galaxy.”

Stars, bless this man for changing the topic. A lump had formed in your throat throughout the entirety of this conversation and you had found yourself drawn to that edge of sadness once more. But you hadn’t wanted to make this day about your sadness. You’d wanted to make it about getting them to be a little bit better. “I put the rest of your clothes in your room last night, Omega. How about you go try one of the outfits on? Wrecker and I need to wash up before I start cooking.”

“Is that code for you two wanting some alone time?” Why couldn’t the adults just say they wanted alone time? Why did they have to be so cryptic about it? “You know, one day I’ll be old enough to talk with the adults too.”

“You will, and when that happens we’ll have lots to talk about.” Your hand ran against her cheek gently. “I’ll even braid your hair like I did that day at the beach if you want me to?”

Well, she did like how her hair looked that day. “Fine.” With a huff, she crossed her arms and headed back into the house.

Only once he was sure she was gone did Wrecker decide to speak, though it was more like a whisper. “I’m afraid of heights.” He held you close as he shared his fear with you. You’d shared yours and it only seemed right. “Not the height itself, but the fall that could happen.”

“I figured.” Your arms snaked around his waist and held him close. “Thanks for changing the topic. Thought I’d be ok, guess I was wrong.”

Wrecker nuzzled your cheek while threading his fingers through your hair. “Just shows that you're still healing as well.”

You hadn’t realized it the night before, but he hadn’t shaved in a while and now his stubble was tickling your skin. “Thank the stars I have you here to help me then.” Raising your hand to his cheek, you let your fingers dance against his stubble. “I like this.”

He’d be here to help you however he could, just like you’d vowed to be there for him. “Yeah? Think I should keep it?” He rubbed his chin in thought.

Now there was a thought. “Hmmm, maybe. But we should probably make sure I like it everywhere.”

“Think you’ll like it less on the docks?” He wasn't exactly sure he was following her reasoning.

Stars, he was adorable. “We can definitely give it a go down at the docks one night.” A mischievous grin crossed your lips as you pulled him down and into a kiss. “But I was thinking we should try it out in the bedroom first.”

It was like a brick had hit him in the head. “Oh,” that made so much sense now that he thought about it. He lifted you into his arms easily, your legs wrapping around his waist, while pressing his lips against yours. “Anywhere in particular you were thinking about in there?” He watched you bite your lip in excitement, the gesture causing him to realize how loose-fitting the pajama pants truly were. “Better hope Omega is in her room.” A growl came from him as he tried to adjust himself.

“Put me down and I’ll go check.” You wiggled against him but froze when you felt something rub against your heat. “Oh.”

You were the only thing blocking his growing member from view. “I just realized how long it’s been since I came with you.” His lips ran against your ear making you shiver in his arms. Wrecker loved knowing he had this effect on you.

It had been almost a month since your last call with each other. After being told Hunter and the others knew about what happened, it had made things awkward. Your head fell forward and rested against his neck as he continued to nip at your ear. “I’ve been dying to feel you in me again.” His big hand squeezed your ass making you moan into his neck, your teeth dragging against his skin. His hips rolled against you and you whined softly.

Wrecker moved far faster than he thought possible as he carried you towards the bedroom, only glancing briefly around the living room and hallway to see if Omega was around. The shut door to the girl's room let him know she was in there currently. Your door shut with a hiss before the click of the lock could be heard. “Now, be a good girl and be as silent as a mouse. Don’t want ‘mega to hear those cute little noises you make.”

Something about the way he demanded you be a good girl had you turning to absolute putty in his hands as he deposited you onto the bed. The tent in his pants left very little to the imagination with how loose you’d made them. You licked your lips in anticipation of the fun about to happen but a flash in his eyes made your head clear for a moment. “Wrecker?”

The large clone was in the process of crawling up the bed towards you when he heard the trepidation in your voice. “Are you okay?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing. We don’t..” His lips pressed against yours to silence you. It wasn’t a kiss like he usually gave you, filled with sweetness and love. This was a kiss of desperation filled with the need to be grounded. For something to be in his control and go right. “Take what you need, my love.”

His lips brushed against your skin and peppered needy kisses from your ear to your throat. Fingers pulled at the shirt you wore, desperation radiating off of him with each kiss. You rubbed your leg against the inside of his, drawing a low growl that made your pussy clench. The cool air of your room hit your skin as Wrecker nearly ripped your shirt off, your shorts following soon after. You whimpered beneath his touch, the feeling almost animalistic.

“Love this body.” Wrecker kissed the dip in your throat before moving to the valley between your breasts. “Love your breasts.” He kissed each one to emphasize his words. “Love your laugh.” His lips brushed the sensitive skin of your stomach, making you giggle softly. “Love your kriffin scent.” His face found the space between your legs and without hesitation, he buried his face within the safety of your thighs. He inhaled deeply and felt his cock twitch at the needy scent of your heat. “And this pussy. Kriff. This pussy is everything I’ve dreamed about. I fucking love it so much.” He dragged his tongue slowly across your lips causing you to gasp and writhe beneath him. His hand rested on your stomach, holding you down before he removed himself from between your legs. Large brown eyes stared up at you for a moment before he crawled up your body and kissed you once more. “Most importantly, I love you.”

You could taste yourself on his lips and it turned you on so much. How were you supposed to be silent when he kissed and licked you so perfectly? Fuck, how would you be silent when he started fucking you! Your arms wrapped around his neck and held his face close to yours while you stared into his adoring eye. When he said he loved you it just did something to your heart. Your nails trailed across the nape of his neck, stroking the tender flesh as you pulled him into another deep kiss. Tongues danced with one another while he rutted against you, your taste continuing to make you squirm. “I love you, Wrecker. So much.” Was whispered between light kisses.

Wrecker could listen to you tell him how much you loved him all day, every day. His hand gripped yours above your head and squeezed it tightly for a moment before he lowered himself to the glistening prize between your legs once more. “Now, let’s see if you’ll enjoy this.” A long lick was pressed against your folds before he fully buried his face within. His arms moved under your thighs and pulled your legs tight around his head causing his stubble to rub your skin.

“Fuuuck” was all you could manage to drawl as the stimulation from his stubble and his tongue drove you absolutely mad. You felt his tongue stop moving, making you whine at the sudden stillness. “W-why?”

He placed a nip against the delicate flesh of your inner thigh. “Told ya to be quiet, Sarad. Every time ya get too loud, I’ll stop.”

It was so unfair! How did he expect you to be so quiet when his tongue was so wonderful? “Please.” You tried to squeak the words out in hushed tones. He nipped the inside of your thigh once more, making your hand fly to your mouth to suppress the desperate cry that escaped.

“Much better.” Grumbled from the clone as he returned his lips to yours. He suckled your clit for a moment, savoring the way you squirmed against his hold.

The way he sucked and licked you was nearly pushing you over your edge already. The added stimulation from his growing beard was almost too much. You cried and moaned into your wrist as you bit the flesh trying to silence yourself. He was just too amazing at what he was doing and the moment that tongue of his slipped into your cunt, you were done. You clenched and wailed around his tongue as you orgasmed for the first time in nearly a month. It was intense and blinding and even though he said he would stop if you became too loud, he didn’t. He allowed you to come in a muffled scream that was probably just a dash too loud, but fuck if you cared. All that mattered right now was savoring and riding the delicious high he was sending through you.

Maker, did he love it when you clenched around him. Whether it was his tongue, fingers, or his cock. Whenever you did it it made him feel amazing. But he was a weak man and his own needs were growing uncomfortable. He lapped at your release like a man dying of dehydration, so sweet and explosive on his tongue. Light years better than anything he’d tasted before, even his precious Mantell mix. Sitting back on his heels, he wiped the slick from his beard before licking the essence from his fingers with one hand while the other began to untie his pants. “Let’s see if you can stay quiet while ya take my cock, goddess.”

You watched in hungry desire as he stood from the bed and pulled his pants off, his shirt following right after. His cock bounced with each step he took back to you making you squirm in anticipation. Raising your hand towards him, you moved to grab his cock and offer your assistance. But he grabbed your hand and pinned it above your head easily. “Might need your help staying quiet.” You wiggled and whined as the head of his cock teased your entrance. Already your desire was growing at the thought of him finally being inside you. There was something about the length and girth of him that just hit everything right.

Wrecker smirked while hiking your thighs around his waist. He leaned over your torso and pressed a hard kiss to your lips. His hand snaked down between your bodies and played with your bud for a moment, eliciting more muffled whines from you. “Such sexy little noises from these lovely lips.” Grabbing his cock, he rubbed the tip against your release and lubed himself up before pressing against your entrance. “Not a sound, Sarad. Be a good girl and you’ll get all of this.”

“Mmmm. Stop teasing.” Left you in a begging whisper. He only smirked at you while slowly, almost painfully slow, he pushed into you. Grunts and moans left you both as he slowly stretched you, the pain turning into pleasure with each gentle thrust. Even when he was desperate, he was gentle. Within moments he was bottoming out inside of you, filling you to the brim with just his cock and you swore your belly was bulging from it. Wrecker moved his hand to your cheek and gently stroked the smooth skin as he allowed you to adjust to his size.

“Okay?” He knew his size was big and no matter how many times the two of you fucked you would still need time to adjust to him. While he gave you a moment, he took the time to admire your sweet face. The way your lips curved so you always looked like you were smiling and how your eyes stared into his eyes with absolute love. Maker, he’d never get over how incredibly stunning you were and how much you cared for him. After a moment, you nodded and shifted closer to him. Indicating that you were ready for him to continue. “Not gonna lie to ya. Just being inside this tight pussy of yours already has me close. Been far too long without ya.”

You loved how honest he was being with you. “Trust me.” A whimper left you as he pulled away slowly just to sink back in with a loud thump. Your bodies slapped against one another and you swore it was loud enough for the girl to hear. “You being in me is already driving me close.” He thrust into you as you finished your sentence making you gasp loudly. His hand flew to your mouth to quiet you and it felt like something new was suddenly unlocked.

Wrecker watched through lidded eyes as you suddenly took the hand covering your mouth, turned it slightly, and took three of his fingers into your mouth. His eyes fluttered as your tongue began to work his fingers like you were working his cock. “Fuck, Sarad. That’s right. Suck on these fingers, keep that pretty mouth n-nice and bu-“ his words cut off as your pussy clenched around him sending a wave of pleasure through his system. Between the stimulation of your tongue on his sensitive fingertips and your pussy holding him just right, he was about to fall over the edge and cum.

“Ah. W-Wrecker.” He was hitting that spot inside you just right. The words left you in a quiet garbled mess thanks to the fingers in your throat at this point. The forced silence added to the pleasure building within you and as another garbled cry of pleasure left your lips, you swore you felt his cock twitch inside of you. Large arms wrapped around your body and pulled you into a sitting position with him. Sitting in his lap now, you felt his cock rub that spongy part inside you perfectly making you bounce in his lap in desperation. Thick fingers dug into your side as he helped you with leverage as well as force. Every time you rose off of him, he used his strength to impale you once more.

Something shifted inside Wrecker as he continued to impale you on his cock. The desperation for his release became too much. His arms wrapped around your body and held you close while his speed and ferocity increased. Your face fell into his shoulder where you bit into his flesh in hopes of muffling your ecstasy-filled screams. The feeling of your pussy clenching around him as you orgasmed was enough to push him over his edge and quickly he was cumming with you in a crazed blinding flash. His thrusts stuttered but continued their brutal pace as he pumped you full of his seed, wanting every drop possible to cover your walls.

You moaned as the pleasure became pain from the overstimulation he’d given you. “W-wrecker. Ah.” His face was in the crook of your neck and you could hear him muttering something repetitively as he practically fucked his seed out of you. Pushing through the pain, you strained to understand what he was saying and after only a few moments you’re finally we’re able to make sense.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed.”

“I need to be stronger.”

“Need to protect you. To deserve you.”

The words were repeated until you stroked the back of his head and softly cooed his name. It was like he was broken out of whatever trance he’d been in. Wrecker looked down at his lap and inhaled sharply at the obscene mess there. Combined release soaked his legs and your thighs while drops of blood littered your sides where he’d been gripping you fiercely earlier. “Sarad, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He moved to pull away from you and give you space. But your ankles locked behind his back and held him close. “Please… I’ve…I’ve hurt you.”

“All the more reason for you to stay still and make it better.” You stroked the side of his cheek carefully while trying to get him to look at you. “Wrecker, I’m ok. Tender. But I’m ok.”

He couldn’t look at you right now, not after being as rough as he had been with you. “B-but. You’re bleeding.” Moving his thumb to your side, he stroked one of the nail punctures. You winced slightly and his heart dropped. He’d hurt you when he was supposed to be protecting and loving you. Gentle fingers wiped away a few of the tears that had escaped his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d started crying

“I bleed a lot from work and other reasons. I’m ok, my love. I promise.” Your nose ran across the tip of his trying to get him to make eye contact with you. When he finally looked at you, you smiled softly. “I will say that sex may have to wait a few more days. Think I’ll be unable to sit for a while.” He opened his mouth to apologize once more but you raised a finger to his lips, silencing him. “But I loved every moment of it.” His bottom lip quivered as you continued to speak. “You deserve me, Wrecker.”

So you had heard him while he was in his trance. You stated that he deserved you and it broke something within him making him crumble into your shoulder. Cries and sobs shook from the gentle giant still slotted between your legs, your hands rubbing his back the entire time. “He was right there. If I had been stronger I could have pulled him up. I could have saved him.”

Omega had told you what little she knew about what had happened before Tech had fallen. “You were being fired at by enemies. The tram was about to fall. You did all you could.” Wrecker shook in your arms and you shushed him softly. He needed to get this out of his system, to do what you’d told Omega to do earlier. Cry.

He tried to listen to your words and truly understand what you were saying. But the darkness in his mind was telling him that he’d failed his brother and your friend. Your poor friend who’d never get to know how much Tech cared for her. Whose scream of anguish he’d never get out of his head.“But Chai…”

“Chai will understand with time. She’s hurt right now, as we all are, but she understood the risk you were all putting yourselves in. Just like I did.” Leaving back, you pulled his head from your shoulder and stroked his cheek once more. “That’s why we care for you so much and why I love you. You’re soldiers and protectors who put those you care for first.” You pressed your forehead against his and hummed for a moment. “Please. Take what you need from me to help you.” All you wanted at this point was to give him whatever support you could.

Wrecker sighed against your forehead, his nose brushing against the tip of yours. “All I need right now is for you to be safe.”

Your lips pressed against his in one of the most passionate kisses you’d shared with him so far. It made your eyes flutter and your heart skip a beat. His hands cradled your face protectively as he finally freed you from his grasp, a few shaky sobs leaving him still. This wonderful, sweet, perfect man was being so vulnerable in your arms right now. Gentle fingers rubbed his tears away as you pulled back and smiled at him with tears in your eyes. “With you here, I am safe.”

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