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therewas-a-girl · 5 years

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Shipwrecks, Of the Wretched, de profundis ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

the

you think i will be intimidated by this BUT CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!! *cracks knuckles*

Shipwrecks

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

this fic is written mostly traditionally tbh - its cronologically told, in third person and mostly from one pov which is (and will be) feclicity. however, i have changed my mind about a lot of things since i started the fic - for one, i want to incorporate the whole ‘unreliable narrator’ thing a lot more. i want to use flashbacks more carefully: playing with timelines in how cetain present time events triger past moemories that illuminate the REASON behind present time choices. things like that.

the real inspiration for the fic itself was another fic i read - I've Never Truly Loved (Until You Put Your Arms Around Me) by theirhappystory. And the fact that i read that fic ... while i was on a boat... while there was a storm. a small one BUT STILL.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Whatever Walks Here, Walks Alone - aka oliver looking at felicity in the lair. by itself this scene could fit anywhere from the begining of season 1, to anywhere in season 2. i didnt really write it with a timeline in mind. it was mroe like me pondering the characters.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

i had a LOT of fun - unexpected fun - writing Diggle’s pov in teh whole situation. you see, when i started the story the first thing i wanted to figure out was where do i want the characters to end up in relation to each other - so that i could start the story with them being in the diametrically opposite spot! but then i realized that i also want contrast within the trio - and where oliver and felicity move towards each other at a glacial pace, john and felicty have a much more easy time understanding where the other stands. like... they vibe. and it had a lot o fun planing out that vibe - and all teh ways it pisses off oliver, in the begining.

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

To answer this i would have to go back and re-read a lot of what i wrote and plan to write, but there is a line that STAYS with me and its one felicity says.

so - in the show, the trio do eventually find out that the Gambit was sabotaged and did not just sink. Now - in Shipwrecks - this would have a major devastating effect on felicity, who was in the gambit with oliver and sara. And she is the one that has the hunch that moira was involved (i think this happens in canon too?) - and she pushes oliver about it. Bc ofc she thinks of moira as just another person. Worse even - a person who hurt her. At this point she is MANIC about it and it freaks oliver out. Like, take the natural defensiveness he has against the idea and add a fear that felicity might genuinely kill his mother, and you get him being very agressively AGAINST felicity following moira anywhere. and when felicity understands that oliver has no intention of pursuing a what she sees as a genuine lead about the event that practically ruined them as people, she just, shuts down, makes a disgusted face, thinks of all the ritch fuckers she’s known and framed and used and how they close ranks when their reputation or personal interest is touched and just, blurts it out.

‘you fucking people.’

5: What part was hardest to write?

all of it lmao. like WRITING IT.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

The fact that i planned it out and it has like, different installments and a whole journey, which is one of losing oneself, understanding that ones self has been lost, seeing vengence for that loss (aka giving in/facing the anger it causes), seeking freedom, going against ones impulses to build better ones, building relationships, mantaining them, finding ones self through small acts of kindness towards ones self, rebuilding ones personality

basically i wrote a journey about getting out of depression and grief, before i realized that THAT was what i was actually writing about.

7: Where did the title come from?

The title of the series is pretty straightforward: they were shipwrecked and now theyre coming back. 'above the vaulted sky’ is a line from a I am, by John Claire.

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;My friends forsake me like a memory lost:I am the self-consumer of my woes—They rise and vanish in oblivious host,Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throesAnd yet I am, and live—like vapours tossedInto the nothingness of scorn and noise,Into the living sea of waking dreams,Where there is neither sense of life or joys,But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;Even the dearest that I loved the bestAre strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.I long for scenes where man hath never trodA place where woman never smiled or weptThere to abide with my Creator, God,And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,Untroubling and untroubled where I lieThe grass below—above the vaulted sky.

It’s a rather sad one actually, but i read it as a poem about hope. About the dream of hope, anyway. And this need to be away - from what is known because at this point what is known is horrible and the only happiness the imagination can come up with, is to be as far from it as possible and alone. and that is very much where felicity starts out with. With her hope not being about peace, but an isolation in stillness because that is the only good place she can imagine.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It did. I’ve been depressed and strugling with horrendous issues of self worth and anxiety since i was about 14. And i never knew. It literally took me turning 28 to realize what the fuck was wrong. And its depressing (lol) because its just so much fucking time that i wasted, you know. And i remember - like, when i was deep in my depression - i used to think all the time ‘I must have been a real life person once. Like, an actual person, with a personality, and likes and dislikes and feelings - but i dont remember her. I dont know who that girl even is, i woudlnt regognise her at all.’ It felt like some part of me had died. Like there was literal murder involved. Cause so little of me survived.

but it turns out, i have been this way - just less intensely (and in some cases a lot MORE intensely) since i hit puberty. i didnt die - i just got worse and did not deal with it at all.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

not really. not yet, anyway.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

im actually not sure that i do want oliver-felicity for this sotry. the dynamic between felicity and tommy is also very veyr interesting. and i dont really know where i will take them. especially in the first and second story, their connection is intense. but this is also part of teh slowburn - oliver and felicity, however it happens, its gonna be slow.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

how personal it is to me, and my experience. and the fact that, if i write it well, i might actually be sayin something.

12: What do you like least about this fic?

THE FACT THAT I HAVENT WRITTEN IT YET T_T

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

PHEW I have whole playlists i built as i was ordering this whole series. with songs that fit the mood, the direction of the storytelling and all.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I genuinely want people to see this as a story about healing.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i havent written all of it yet - but i did learn something very interesting about myself. that i have been putting my trauma into narratives to deal with it looong since i knew that was a thing, or i was even aware that i was doing it.

and on that depressing note, i will end this post and start a new one for the other stories lmao

#personal #shipwrecks tag #deathandindignitybedamned

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whookami · 4 years

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(Part 1/2) Follow up to your previous ask, what kind of roles do you wanna see Joe do in the future? Personally i prefer he does a variety of roles that are different from the light hearted way he plays Steve cause i wanna see his acting range, and i dont think the way the Duffers have dumbed down Steve to comic relief is gonna showcase that at all. I wanna see him try roles that are emotional/vulnerable in some way or even those that go into the intense unlikable villain category works for me.

(Part 2/2) thats why im curious to watch Spree because of how supposedly cringey, manic and unhinged his character is, cuz that would be different from the charismatic way he plays steve, and i've also heard critics comparing his character to the protagonists in Joker, American Psycho, Nightcrawler etc. but i dont wanna assume anything until i see the movie myself.

First, I could not agree more about Spree. That’s why I wanna see it so bad too. It’s something so totally different from what we’ve seen from Joe so far. I also love schlocky horror and dark satire, so it’s right up my alley in numerous ways.

Now, the roles I would like to see Joe do...some of these are like, weirdly specific, and some are just a general idea. What I want the most is actually probably the one closest to Steve, in that I want him to play a dude who is charming and suave on the outside and seems like the perfect guy, the perfect boyfriend, all that stuff, but in private is super emotionally manipulative and abusive, not necessarily physically, but in every other way. I want to see him just fitting into his gf’s family, her friends all love him, he’s just too good to be true because he really is. He gaslights his gf, makes her dependent upon him, just really destroys her life. Not because I like any of those things in real life, but it would really be fascinating to watch Joe, who is literally so charismatic the Duffers couldn’t kill his character off like they planned, playing someone who goes to the darkest extreme of how charming people can manipulate those around them.

Next, fatherhood. Sure, as Steve he’s pretty much adopted a flock of kids (more so in fanon than canon, but fanon is often way better for exploring these relationships). But Joe playing a young dad who wasn’t expecting the responsibility, who sort of accidentally wound up in that situation, struggling with trying to help raise a kid and not lose who he thought he was as a person, but finding himself changing and growing now that he has another life he has to nurture and protect? I want him going from a really irresponsible guy who makes a drunken mistake and then has to live up to the consequences, seeing the anger, the depression, the resentment, and through the experience comes to understand love and himself on a deeper level. Having a kid isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, especially when it’s completely accidental, there are a host of other emotions, many of them pretty ugly, that can be involved and I’d love to see Joe explore that.

Third, I wanna see him play a junkie. Someone who had a bright future and had his life pretty much planned out on a perfect trajectory, but at some point in college the pressures got to him and he would just casually take a little bit of something, to help him stay awake, to help his brain to fire on all cylinders, and it gets away from him. Eventually instead of it being a ‘now and then, when I really need it’ sort of thing it becomes almost daily and he loses out on his scholarship, his life begins to unravel, his desperation as he tries to fight alone but can’t help himself and just watching helplessly as things spiral beyond control, before finally giving in to the idea that he can’t do it by himself and has to go back home as a ‘failure’ and admit the truth because he’s been lying to his loved ones back home, and then watching him slowly be built back up, struggling daily and sometimes cracking under the pressure, but slowly step by step getting there with the support of family even though he lied to them and stole money for drugs and all that terribly painful guilt.

Finally, just because I love angst, I want him to play someone diagnosed with a terminal illness. I love crying at movies, I really do. My friends seem to find it amusing how often and easily movies make me tear up, but to me it’s a sign that a movie was being genuine and connected to me on an emotionally honest level!

So, these are just four of the roles I would love to see him try, because they each explore some really varied emotions and would really stretch his talents to some pretty different extremes. All of them do make use of his natural charm in some form, whether making it duplicitous in nature or not, but then take that base and either break it down or cause him to go through some form of disruptive life experience that challenges the true mettle of these characters. Is it weird that most of these are really really specific? Oh well. Hope you found my answers interesting. I’d love to hear what roles others would like to see him tackle!

#replies #i wanna see joe put through the emotional wringer basically #i really really wanna see him cry #crying is just the most awkward yet cathartic thing #more men crying in movies please!

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years

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y’know i think the whole reason i haven’t been bothered to start dating is bc over the years, i’ve just become comfortable with being on my own all the time. like I don’t feel the pressure to always have a partner and I feel like if I ever start dating at any point..... I don’t feel like i’d easily forget who i am and just make myself 1000% like that person. like obvs i have absolutely no idea whether that’d happen or not.

but I just feel like i won’t.... like i would’ve if I’d started dating much much earlier, like in high school, for example.... where i ended up posting a “im so lonely and sick of being single” etc type status at one point.... partly bc i was really lonely at 16 and also bc well... as a joke bc everyone had to post at least one of those statuses during high school lmao.

then there’s also me not just throwing myself at any chance to get fucked by creepy guys like “let me give you sex lessons in the back of my car” guy or bar creeper weasel mcfuck guy..... all because of the pressure that those fucking creepy dudes were giving me bc i kept refusing their advances.... and i also refused to just fuck anyone bc that’s just what you’re supposed to do in your late teens (sex lessons guy) and well into your 20s (bar creeper weasel mcfuck guy) apparently. but no. i have my fucking standards. and those creeps didn’t fucking meet them. so i had every fucking right to continually reject them and stay single.

and besides the point, im just so used to being on my own now that if someone came in to be my partner; they’d have to be fucking okay with me being me.... and except that i won’t give myself up entirely to become exactly like them or whatever. I know who I am (mostly) and why should I fucking sacrifice that for some stupid ass dude????

and also now, i will never take the dumbass line of “oh I’ll fix this dude bc he’s so broken and that’ll fix me too!!!” like i thought when i was depressed and anxious in 2011 and had a really bad and kind of obsessive crush on one of the hella popular dudes in my year at catholic school. because i now know that love doesn’t fix people fully. and if any dude pulls that act on me, im happy to fucking leave as soon possible. because it’s his job to fix himself through therapy with a fucking professional therapist; and not some random woman that they pick up off of a dating app’s responsibility.... to pick up his broken pieces and build him up and all that bullshit that shitty dudes I know share on fb all the time.

anyway yeah. my point is that im happy on my own now bc im so used to being single.... that if I ever started dating I wouldn’t forget who I am and think that I have to completely change myself for the sake of the other person and become exactly like them; like I would’ve when I was younger. and that i also just feel comfortable being single now and that it’d be so strange to have a partner that likes me lmao.... but they’d have to accept me as i am bc I’ve accepted who i am and I won’t change (mostly) for anyone, other than for myself.

like yes I know you change in relationships... and that you learn different things about yourself and other people during the time you spent in those relationships. and I also know that you learn skills like negotiation and compromise etc in relationships. but you also learn 1,000 things about yourself when you don’t date too early...... and don’t fall into the pressure of “hook up culture” that’s so hardly pushed on people from 18-25, bc of tinder becoming huge in the 2010s. you learn 1000 things from all the different people you reject because you realise that you have standards; and that those said people don’t meet them (even if they seem ridiculous to other people). you learn that you’ve kept yourself safe from people that don’t give a fuck about you. you also learn relationship skills in this process as well.

like I learnt from my stalker in 2012, that I could do far better than him and all of his abusive/controlling behaviours and tendencies.... and his constant habit of painting me as a weak and defenceless woman that he had to save & protect all the time. on his side however, i was basically his manic pixie dream girl who had to fix him instead. I learnt from him that neither of those archetypes were desirable to base a relationship on. after all, i was on the road to fix myself.... and if I’d let this bs get to an actual relationship..... i knew it would’ve damn near killed me, and not him.

i knew that “I’ll give you sex lessons in the back of my car” dude was a cunt in 2014...... bc not only did he not care about my sexual safety and not accept any of my refusals for his said “sex lessons”..... he did not respect that i wanted to be called by my either of my names, and not the names that he deemed to be “much easier and more respectful” to have..... because they were both typical white girl names (Gwen or Alannah instead of gwladys or ilona). and then, obviously, he was one of the many guys that were angry at me bc i refused to lose my virginity by 15 like “normal people”. I knew that a decent dude would accept that I wanted to be called by MY ACTUAL FUCKING NAME/S and not ones suggested by them so they could deem me “more socially acceptable” to them. I knew that a respectful dude wouldn’t give me the “you should’ve fucked someone by the time you were 15!!” etc etc lecture that this fuckwad gave me.

I learnt from bar creeper weasel mcfuck in 2017, that again, I could do far better.... but also that his behaviours were fucking creepy and not normal. because surely no honest & decent man would try to confiscate/steal etc a fucking grown woman’s phone in a bar/pub just because she keeps refusing his kisses/grindings on the dancefloor????? and also feels the need to escape his shitty behaviour???? and also because he was angry at her bc she rang someone else to take her home.... instead of wanting to go back to his place???? like a decent dude would accept those choices, right???

I knew by this time that his behaviour of constantly separating me from my friends so that they couldn’t see/hear his disgusting comments and behaviour was manipulative as fuck.... as much as his overly forceful tendency that night; to try and get me to smile and try to control my behaviour to make it look like I was “having fun” on his terms, and not mine..... with comments like: “why the fuck don’t you fucking smile??? why the fuck don’t you look like you’re having a good time??? fucking smile for me bitch!” I knew by 22, that this was toxic fucking behaviour and not a behaviour that I wanted in lover/partner. I knew that if I couldn’t tolerate this treatment during that entire night... then I couldn’t tolerate it for an entire relationship.

I knew in literally the first 3 minutes of talking to him.... where I was supposed to let him look at my phone over my shoulder all the time... while I was banned from looking at his phone except from adding him on fb..... and that he expected me not to be offended by demeaning comments about me doing an arts degree.... but I was then supposed to wholly support him wanting to “study fashion” when he literally dressed like he’d rolled out of a fucking dumpster in the 2000s..... and literally fucking smelt like it as well.... and other troubling shit that I’ve written whole novel-length posts about on this hellsite about him lmao. but you get my point. I knew in these few first minutes to an hour, that he was not someone that I’d like to sleep with/have a relationship with etc etc. we just didn’t fucking mesh. he disgusted me. and I infuriated him by just existing and wanting to leave him behind without a “girl to score with” that night.

I knew I deserved better than him, despite his godawful comments and behaviour and his ultimate belief that I’d stoop so low to go home with him that night and fuck him.... and let him treat me like shit (bc i was scared of him that whole night tbh) for the whole time he did so, was fucking laughable. no. I will not fuck you, man who thinks it’s attractive to tell a woman that “I just can’t help but grab your pussy in that dress!!! bc you’re soooo sexy in that dress! it’s your fault you’re so sexy in that dress!!! fucking kiss me! why the fuck won’t you kiss me???!”. i knew deep down in myself that I could do so much fucking better than him and that i should never go home with a dude that treats me like im 16 and not 22 (at the time). I knew that I would never feel or be safe around this guy, with the way he wanted to confiscate/steal my phone from me and practically leave me completely stranded with him all night... to enforce some monitoring of my behaviour on his watch only, and not mine.

so. to conclude. don’t listen to anyone who tells you that the only way you learn about life is when you’re in a long-lasting & hopefully wholly healthy long-term relationship.... or when you have a long term slutty phase whereby you just date anyone for the sake of dating anyone so that you can fuck around with no strings attached...... or just by being in shitty relationships/shitty situationships; just because you feel like you have to be in them because everyone around you are relationships or going through their 20s slutty phases/situationship phases.

because you learn just as much about yourself and your expectations and standards in partners...... by the way of the people that you reject, and their treatment of you when you constantly rebuff them. you realise your worth and the treatment that you really deserve from the shittiest people..... who try their godawful manipulative tactics on you in the first few hours that you’ve met them physically or talked to them online.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona tries to give relationship advice although shes never had one #ilona tries to give advice #i got my age in 2017 wrong lmao

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clownbeep · 5 years

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This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

#trigger warning #triggering #may be triggering #vent #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #suicide #suicide trigger #gore warning #memory problems #ramble #rambles

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory

* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.

* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!

* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.

* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.

* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"

* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!

* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?

* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..

* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!

* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!

* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well

* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)

* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)

* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*

* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!

#bunni plays yokai watch

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anonymouslyidentified-blog · 6 years

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My story..

I’ve always felt a little out of place. Whether it was at home, with friends, or even back at school. I knew there was something different about my mind. My life was just different to everyone else’s.

I grew up surrounded by friends with perfect families (as much as they could be). They would have their mothers, fathers, siblings - as it should be. I craved for the perfect family. I am so grateful for my mother and I love her endlessly. I just felt there was something missing. My father.

Being the youngest sibling (half sibling) of three, I looked up to my brother and sister and admired how close they were. I always knew there was something different between myself and them. They had their father. They knew their father. They knew where they came from. Myself on the other hand, I felt like I didn’t know where I came from. As far as I am concerned, my father left when I was just a few months old.

No photos. No videos. Nothing. There was no evidence that he was ever in my life - and so that’s how I continued to live it.

As I grew I started to become depressed. Nobody noticed. It’s just hormones right? Wrong. I was fighting a losing battle. I was at my lowest in my mid teens, I wanted to end it all and I didn’t know why. I would cry. And cry. And cry. I would stare at myself in the mirror with hatred. I told myself that I’m the reason I didn’t know my father. Who would want somebody like me? I realised that I was missing a big part in my life which everybody else seemed to have. I felt empty.

I didn’t care that I didn’t ‘have’ a father. I didn’t care that my family didn’t seem like me. I knew I was the black sheep, and I just didn’t care.

The thoughts went away. The self hatred went away. I didn’t feel lonely anymore. I knew my friends and family were there to support me, and that was ok.

A couple of years on, I joined sixth form. The first year was great, my life was on track, I knew who I wanted to be. The second year rolled in - I could cope anymore. Nobody understood that it had come back. The self-loathing. The lack of motivation. The lack of care. Everybody thought I was just ‘stressed’. When the second term came up, I couldn’t go in. I couldn’t stand the thought of being there anymore. I didn’t have the same people supporting me as I previously had. They were not at the same sixth form as me to support me when I needed it. I was alone.

I dropped out. Was it a smart idea? No. Did it improve my mental health? Yes. I wanted to favour my mental health over my education. It sounds stupid, but I knew that if I didn’t drop out right then, I wouldn’t have made it out and recovered.

I part recovered. I was happier. But that’s when your own family can bring you down. Constantly nagging at when I would get a full time job, when I would choose my career. But I just couldn’t do it. That’s what mental health does to somebody. I had perfect grades. I had my life planned out. But it hit me hard. I was indecisive. I didn’t want to do any of it anymore. I was depressed.

The road for recovery is tough. Im still trying to figure it out. But it’s something you have to go through with someone you love. My partner (since I was 15 years old) has helped me through each and every phase I’ve had. When I’ve had my highs, and when I’ve had my lows (which is very low). With his help, years and years later I am starting to want to do things for myself again. I know that I can train for my chosen career within another job. I know that I don’t have to pressure myself anymore. I know that I’m going to be ok.

Recovery is a long process. Whether it’s recovery from a manic episode, or simply from an anxious state of mind. Each process is different to each individual. And that is something that needs to be accepted. My recovery process has taken many years for me to realise how to help myself. And only now am I wanting to get healthy again. I never let people in. But I’m glad I let my partner in again. Hopefully now, I can fully recover.

#mentalhealth #childhood #recovery #confusion #anonymous #identity #health #physicalhealth #love #hopefulness #depression

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bristhoughtsohno · 2 years

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guys maybe i should do it i have nothing left anymore

kota doesn't care about me anymore and i fucking self sabotage when i'm depressed or manic so EVERY. SINGLE. THING. ive been looking forward too isn't am option anymore

like indoor, swim manager, ffa officer, probably more i cant think of, are all ruined 😍😍😍

zach still likes me and ig i like him? i would be, and am, happy with what we have but it's just very content. i don't get butterflies or have exciting feelings or anything. and it makes me feel bad because i made the first move and now he has feelings. i barely even liked him at the time i was just fucking upset about kota and joe because now i have no one who fucking cares about me anymore LMAO

i used to be kota's everything and now i'm not lol 😍 now i have no one who feels that way about me LMFAO

michael and i are getting closer but on wednesday at the ffa meeting i met his girlfriend so that's great 😍 the person keeping afloat since everyone left would never be interested in me that way. he only wants to be friends. and not even close friends. just friends. we are getting close but hes known Will like an eighth of the time he's known me and they became so close so fast. he doesn't want to be close with me but i need him so much. he doesn't know that but i need him. i can't tell him that because then i would lose him and not have him at all.

i feel like my entire life is crumbling to pieces and everyone expects so much out of me. the worst part is that i'm not even in a depressive episode rn i'm just like this. i'm not overwhelmingly sad, i'm not even numb. i get to experience every emotion i have with nothing extra. just pure emotion. and it's horrible. i thought this year everything would be okay and i'd turn my life around but i can't. no matter how hard i try i just can't.

i can't even use any coping skills im "supposed to use" because i have no one. who am i supposed to talk to or even think about to ground myself. anyone i think about will just make it worse.

Kota doesn't care, they have joe now

Michael doesn't care, he doesn't feel the same

My family don't care, i'm a horrible person and my dad and uncle fucking sa me 😍

My childhood friend group don't care, i'm so distant from them now and opening up would be a bad idea

Skyler and Carson don't care, i'm just one of their friend's friend's little sister who's trying to be friends with them

Geesey and Dan are probably so fucking disappointed in me, or at least will be after whep contest

Dewitt is so astronomically disappointed in me after everything i've failed at: class, manager, even my fucking job

mcyts, 5sos, other ccs DON'T KNOW I EXIST, i'm just another random teenage girl on the internet who's mentally ill and attaches to people, whether i know them or not, too quick

i don't even have pebble anymore. shut them out because i was depressed. pebble cared. pebble made me feel loved. but had to go and ruin that too. along with all my other online friends.

i'm such a failure and no one even cares about me LOL

i don't feel suicidal. that wouldn't fulfil me. not being a failure and doing just ONE FUCKING THING RIGHT or having ONE RELATIONSHIP WHERE SOMEONE CARES ABOUT ME would fulfil me.

i can't achieve my goals because i don't even know what they are. i don't know who i am. i don't know how to keep going. i don't think i can. i don't even have anyone to reach out to. i don't have someone to talk me down. going to a facility wouldn't help now. it would've a few weeks ago when i asked. then i wouldn't be in this mind set now. but they didn't care enough to try to get me into one. that wouldn't help now. that's not what i need now. i don't know what i need. i don't know how im supposed to get help. all of the help that's offered to me wouldn't help.

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metalornothng-blog · 7 years

Text

Forming/Retaining Memories with Mental Disorders

First and foremost, I’d like to address something really interesting that I truly related to when I read it - RAPID CYCLING. What led me to this revelation of the concept “rapid cycling” was researching “What is Bipolar Disorder?” Now why would I be randomly wondering about BPD? Because I need answers and solutions to these horrible mood swings ruining my life and relationships. What does this half to do with memory? You’ll see.

I remember being diagnosed as a child with “rapid mood swings”- highs then lows swinging so fast they leave me dizzy and with spotty memory of what just occurred.. something as simple as my morning trip to Starbucks, posting an IG story ranting about something I find amusing, then taking a break to sit on the couch and *boom* mood swing I’m overanalyzing and being really hard on myself, suddenly unsure of what I'd even just said or done as if I’d been in some drunk frenzy. Sure if i think hard enough i know exactly the events of the day but sometimes i even confuse it with the day prior, or another day before that. It leaves me pretty disoriented most of the time.

So sure, that didn’t affect anyone but me but here is a perfect example of how these mood swings are affecting my relationships- I just finished a modeling job, I’m driving home in a great mood, and then *boom* here comes the negative thinking, the overanalyzing of my work, and the bad mood. And maybe that bad mood makes me lash out at my friends or family. Maybe I text all angrily for a good five minutes in my car in my garage and then I get out of the car and stand up and suddenly *boom* I’m fine. I no longer care and life goes on. But no one else is fine. My friend is left with all these angry words I didn’t even mean and honestly I’m pretty embarrassed that i have these weird outbursts that half the time aren’t things im rude enough to ever voice and i’d rather not remember so I don’t scroll back up and I block it out and I’m left thinking things are suddenly back to normal since I’M back to normal. This doesn’t only apply to cell phone interactions by the way it’s just a relatable example, but for you it could be yelling at your mom, saying hurtful things, slamming the door, taking a deep breath and suddenly walking back out trying to apologize.

So now here’s an example of how it affects me in daily life with people i DON’T know and that i’m TOO nice to (haha!) So, I’m leaving a modeling job, I’m in an ecstatic mood and I get to the counter to buy cigarettes and end up gushing to the cashier about the beautiful day and we get deep into conversation about cigarette prices and then my tattoos by now fifteen minutes has passed and he’s trying to give me his phone number and I’m immediately annoyed and discouraged and by the time I’m stomping out of the store I’m angrily muttering “can’t a girl just buy a pack of smokes? damn!” And instantly my good mood that spurred the conversation which confused the dude into thinking I was flirting has sailed out the window and I’m blaming myself and angry with the world. And as I overanalyze our fifteen minute conversation to figure out where I went wrong I realize I sounded like I was a full on tweaker babbling about sunshine and how wonderful Cali is and pouring out my life story to someone I’ll never see again. What. Just. Happened?!

What is rapid cycling?

“Rapid cycling is defined as four or more manic, hypomanic, or depressive episodes in any 12-month period. With rapid cycling, mood swings can quickly go from low to high and back again, and occur over periods of a few days and sometimes even hours. The person feels like he or she is on a roller coaster, with mood and energy changes that are out-of control and disabling. In some individuals, rapid cycling is characterized by severe irritability, anger, impulsivity, and uncontrollable outbursts. While the term “rapid cycling” may make it sound as if the episodes occur in regular cycles, episodes actually often follow a random pattern. Some patients with rapid cycling appear to experience true manic, mild manic, or depressive episodes that last only for a day. If there are four mood episodes within a month, it is called ultra-rapid cycling, and when several mood switches occur within a day, on several days during one week, it is called ultra-ultra-rapid, or ultradian cycling. Typically, however, someone who experiences such short mood swings has longer episodes as well. Some individuals experience rapid cycling at the beginning of their illness, but for the majority, rapid cycling begins gradually. Most individuals with bipolar disorder, in fact, experience shorter and more frequent episodes over time if their illness is not adequately treated. For most people, rapid cycling is a temporary occurrence. They may experience rapid cycling for a time, then return to a pattern of longer, less frequent episodes, or, in the best case, return to a stabilized mood with the help of treatment. A small number of individuals continue in a rapid cycling pattern indefinitely.” See: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_brochures_bipolar_disorder_rapid_cycling

So it sounds like I’ve figured out what these rapid mood swings are called and I feel better that there’s a name for it. And clearly other people are dealing with this too. This next paragraph hit home-

“Characteristics such as irritability, tendency to cry, racing thoughts or impulsiveness may cause social problems. Because people with bipolar disorder are often unfairly judged, they may lose opportunities to develop friendships or romantic involvement, or have trouble achieving their career goals. These struggles may contribute to self-esteem problems.”

So while I’m sitting here writing this I pulled open my text messages and saw one that said “Let’s go get our belly buttons pierced!” I remember writing it but I don’t even want a belly button ring. Perfect example of making impulsive decisions while rapid cycling. And because I just read it I remember it but I honestly had no memory of wanting to do that today. So yes, that definitely applies to me, but this but this doesn’t explain the MEMORY LOSS/BLOCK part of things which made me decide to search “Bipolar and Memories” which lead me to this eye-opening article:

“Of course, it’s common to engage in out-of-character behaviors while manic. I accept that. However, it’s much more difficult for me to accept the fact that I have absolutely no recollection of performing so many of these actions. I suspect there’s a lot more I don’t remember from that time period, as even five years later, I keep learning new things. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has said to me: “Do you remember when …” and I don’t. It’s as though someone has stolen my memories, and I don’t like the idea that such a thing is even possible. Memories aren’t like alarm clocks or artwork—you can’t just replace them.Coping with the reality of losing so much time and having done so many things (often highly embarrassing things) of which I have zero recall hasn’t been easy for me. I recognize that my amnesia may well be my mind’s way of protecting me from myself, from reliving painful events, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept." See: https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-disorder-missing-memories-i-did-what/

The article ended up with the author babbled about forgiveness and that people still love her. Good for you, I’m losing friends by the minute.

So I continue my search. So what I’ve gathered so far is that people with BPD experience rapid mood swings all day long just like me and people with BPD experience states of frenzy with memory loss (amnesia).

What is amnesia?

“Amnesia is a deficit in memory caused by brain damage, disease, or psychological trauma. Amnesia can also be caused temporarily by the use of various sedatives and hypnotic drugs. The memory can be either wholly or partially lost due to the extent of damage that was caused.[2] There are two main types of amnesia: retrograde amnesia and anterograde amnesia. Retrograde amnesia is the inability to retrieve information that was acquired before a particular date, usually the date of an accident or operation.[3] In some cases the memory loss can extend back decades, while in others the person may lose only a few months of memory. Anterograde amnesia is the inability to transfer new information from the short-term store into the long-term store. People with this type of amnesia cannot remember things for long periods of time. These two types are not mutually exclusive; both can occur simultaneously.” See:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amnesia

So maybe I have BPD and anterograde amnesia with a drop of retrograde because The best way to describe my memory would be snapshots- shorts clips but no seamless video footage. I can’t remember my child hood, I had several best friends in 7th grade and don’t know their names, they don’t even have bodies or faces in my memories. Entire years, schools, individuals- wiped out. Or even getting lunch with a friend two weeks ago seems like years ago. It hurts. It makes me feel heartless. I didn’t choose to be this way but if there was one thing I did that might have screwed me, it was learning how to block things out. My mom loved to scold me with this weird expression on her face of pursed lips and a finger wagging in front of my nose. I hated it so I’d tune her out and go somewhere else in my mind. I began to do this so much I eventually lost control of when to snap back from my happy place. My sweet mind trick on my mom turned into this full blown out mental disorder called “ADD.”

What is ADD?

Apparently “this is an outdated term. The term was once used to refer to someone who had trouble focusing but was not hyperactive.” OK cool so it’s ADHD now. Inattentive ADHD means a person shows enough symptoms of inattention (or easy distractibility) but isn’t hyperactive or impulsive.

For example- It got really bad in high school to the point that I’d be trying to listen to my friend’s story and she’d say a word that either sparked a memory of mine and I’d be so excited to share it I’d blurt it out and interrupt her because i literally didn’t even hear her talking anymore my memory was so loud and needed to resurrect itself from the dead. Everyone started to hate me because i came off as super obnoxious and spacey. I didn’t always interrupt, I’m actually pretty aware now and I apologize or manage to hold it in til the end. But THEN people probably think I’m just waiting for them to finish talking so I can talk about myself some more. And while that’s not true at all, it truly is hard to hear the rest of their story with mine pushing so hard to get out. Then I found this psychology study on ADHD and memory differences and the outcome:

“We know that these individuals with ADHD are just as capable in remembering information, but what is selected to be remembered could be an issue. The brain areas associated with planning, memory, and decision-making are also implicated in a number of other psychological disorders. Decisions about risk-taking, substance use, and other problematic behaviors may be impaired in children with ADHD compared to their non-ADHD counterparts. A recent analysis looking at the long term outcomes of children with ADHD found that as adolescents and adults, they are more likely to try smoking and marijuana, and more likely to develop substance abuse or depending on nicotine, marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, and other drugs.” See: https://www.psychologyinaction.org/psychology-in-action-1/2011/02/12/adhd-and-memory-differences-in-what-is-remembered

Oh did someone say substance abuse? Hello, it’s me! But more importantly, they mentioned selective memory.

“A study found that repressing these memories for long enough can lead to us erasing them completely. Using EEG scans, scientists noted the parts of volunteers' brains which became active when actively trying to forget something. They were also able to pinpoint the exact moment a memory is 'forgotten', and claim that long-term suppression of a memory is a sure fire way of permanently erasing it.

The study authors say that mastering the technique could be useful for people who suffer from depression or post traumatic stress disorder.

Mr Waldhauser, a researcher at Lund University, said "We know that 'forgotten' or repressed feelings often manifest themselves as physiological reactions.” See: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/8620360/Selective-memory-does-exist-say-scientists.html

So maybe my elite human brain is just protecting me... They did mention depression and PTSD.

“Depression has been linked to memory problems, such as forgetfulness or confusion. It can also make it difficult to focus on work or other tasks, make decisions, or think clearly. Stress and anxiety can also lead to poor memory.

Depression is associated with short-term memory loss. It doesn’t affect other types of memory, such as long-term memory and procedural memory, which controls motor skills.” See:https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/depression-and-memory-loss#outlook

Several reoccurring symptoms of PTSD include fearful thoughts, flashbacks and bad dreams. These symptoms can become problematic in a person’s life. Some of the avoidance symptoms include difficulty remembering the traumatic event and avoiding reminders of the experience, such as places, people and objects. Hyperarousal symptoms may also arise, such as feeling tense, being startled easily and having trouble sleeping. While it is normal to experience some of these symptoms after a terrible event, symptoms lasting more than a few weeks may be signs of PTSD.\Post-traumatic stress disorder causes short-term memory loss and can have long-term chronic psychological repercussions, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) and the NCBI. Fortunately, psychotherapeutic intervention and treatment can alleviate and often eliminate short-term and long-term effects of PTSD. See:https://www.psychguides.com/guides/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-symptoms-causes-and-effects/

#bipolar #bpd #mental illness #rapid cycling #memory loss #adhd

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sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 6 years

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I already have fully comprehensive insurance for both myself and my spouse on our first car but now are looking to buy a second car. I also have 9 years no claims bonus.

Question about car insurance?

if insurers are allowed to stereotype that all males are aggresive drivers and as a result should be charged more, why do asians not have higher premiums too? hasent it been proven that driving below the speed limit is just as dangerous as speeding? i did a quote for a car im looking to buy, and insurance would be about $6000 a year for me (17 year old male), for my girlfriend it would only be $3000. i think thats pathetic! not all male drivers are bad, sure a lot are, but alot of asians are horrible drivers!""

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

Insurance for baby?

im a full time student, so im staying on my mom's insurance.. im 18... my babys father doesnt have health insurance. does the baby go on my mom's with me, or do i need to get insurance for the baby by myself?""

What car insurance can i get with no down payment?

How can USA force me to buy health insurance?

It's incredibly unconstitutional and uncapitalist If I find a way to self-fund my healthcare and don't need to rely on an insurance company, Govt can FORCE me against my will with fines and penalties to engage in business with big insurance?????? Are you kidding?!!!! What country are we living under?""

What are the requirements to have insurance license?

selling insurance in tennessee

Health insurance costs...what do you pay?

My husband is in the military and is thinking about getting out. Our health insurance is totally covered right now but in the civilian world we have no idea what the cost will be if he doesn't get a job that offers benifits. I'm looking for any info about what people pay monthly, and co-pays for health insurance for a family with 1-2 children. Thank you so mcuh!!!""

I lost my Health insurance and I need to find affordable coverage asap?

I had tenncare but after i turned 21 it ended i have medical conditions that require me to take medications daily. does anyone know of a good affordable insurance that covers doctor visits and prescriptions that will take me with pre-existing conditions? I have asthma, PCOS, and other things that i have to take daily medication for to be able to function. I am bi-polar i have ADHD and severe social anxiety i am also manic depressant and schizophrenic what can i do to get some health insurance??""

Best health insurance for bariatric surgery?

I live in Florida and am trying to have bariatric surgery. What company's will pay for the surgery in Florida?

""If i have no income will obamacare subsidies 100% of my health insurance, and co pay?""

If i have no income will obamacare subsidies 100% of my health insurance, and co pay?""

Car insurance - change of address?

Hi. Recently i changed my address so i had to let the car insurance company know about that. But they charged(actually are willing to chage) me 423 pounds !! Yes, there's not a misspeling. It's 423 . As far as i ve seen, most people get charged no maximum than 50 pounds for this change. Also, there are no changes on my policy. I still have a garage, i still do the same mileage/year and so on. They even confirmed that there's no change in policy details except the new address. The new address it's in Manchester (central area) and before i lived in Bradford(UK). Now, in the mean time, i had a claim. If i would have found about this fee before, i would have cancel my insurance policy but now that i have a claim, i can't cancel it anymore and being refunded (as i paid the insurance for 1 year in one go, Not monthly). I found about this crazy 423 fee only now when i had this claim. You can't find anything about any fees related to changing the address neither on my policy papers nor on their website and online policy books. I suppose they considered this fee just as an administration fee. And i suppose they could have charged me even 10 000 pounds as an administration fee just because they can. I don't feel protected by the company anymore !! that's why it's an insurance company, to protect and take some risks out. The insurance company it's Admiral. I tryed to talk and explain them that this fee it's just nuts but they didn't agreed. The fee it's about 1/4 of the total insurance cost for 1 year. Maybe they try to take advantage of the fact that i can't cancel it (coz i have a claim in process) and i can't get refunded ? Any ideea how should i proceed ? Shall i proceed with any legal actions ? if yes, how much time and money would that cost because i wouldn't go into, i don't think it's worth doing that. Thanks in advance :) Cheers!""

How much would cheap car insurance be in california?

im 18 and its my first car whats a good estimate for cheap insurance

Cheap Insurance companies for a Piaggio NRG 50?

I just bought a Piaggio NRG 50 and wondering who is the best company to get insured with and how much will it cost at the least? Thanks!

Will a first time speeding ticket in Missouri effect my insurance and i have Statefarm insurance?

What's a good life insurance?

My stepdad smokes a pack a day, and drives a truck for a living and I was wondering what would be a good life insurance for my mom should anything happen to him since he seems like high risk? They are middle class family in the burbs.""

How much does gender affect car insurance price?

I'm writing an essay on seemingly biased car insurance charges. Does anyone have any facts or statistics involving car insurance? Thanks!

How much would it cost to insure a used Aston Martin Vantage?

I have decided to get the Aston Martin Vantage (Used). it is around 34000. My salary is around 30,000 a year. I was wondering if insurance is expensive?""

To buy or not to buy: car insurance?

I am currently not in a situation to buy car insurance, since I find it to be expensive in terms of everything else I also have to pay. What are some of the consequences of not getting a car insurance? Do you see any benefit to it?""

""Hi, Maintenance cost for 2001, BMW 318 sei series?""

hi, I am thinking of buying my frist car, and i was thinking of a second hand year 2001 BMW, about 80000 miles, just wanted to know whats the servicing and maintenance cost for a BMW is like? Is it expensive ? does it break down often or is it a solid car? Otherwise i might look for a japanese model or a hyundai coupe. I was thinking of peugeot 206 as well and VW golf. hows the insurance for all of these car? Which car is better for a fresh graduate like me?""

Health Care Insurance (CA)?

So 2014 coming around I know we need health insurance or else we have to pay a fee. My question is not sure what insurance to pick (specifically anything dental,vision, regular doctor ...show more""

How does AD&D Insurance differ from Life Insurance?

I understand a little about how AD&D works (for example, if you lose a leg you get x% of your benefit), but who is it for? If I have Life and Medical Insurance, am a white collar worker, and do not engage in dangerous hobbies, why would I need it? By the same token, why not get AD&D instead of Life insurance (since the AD&D plan I looked at had a death benefit)? AD&D seems like a waste of money (of course I've just jinxed myself). Can someone please enlighten me?...""

illinois insurance association

Why can't health insurance do new methods to cut cost?

Just thinking, how about use health care at another country for cut cost? Let say you live in USA, need heart sugery, do it at India to save insurance money. So health care become more affordable, yet insurance company can make more profit. You maybe say people don't like travel, well if you want more coverage with lower price, you got no choice. Or pay full price for insurance if prefer use America hospital. I understand some situation can't because emergency and need treatment in less than hour so can use local hospital. I am talking about if need medcial attention in less than 24 hours, can be done, insurance can arrange travel, and treatment at half way around the earth. Example: cost 100,000 dollars in USA, cost 7,000 at India for same treatment. Save: 93,000 dollars for all of us.""

Sportbike Insurance...?

Where is a good place to have motorcycle insurance through. My husband is looking into buying a Suzuki gsxr and we are trying to find something cheap or reasonable.

Are there any cost savings in adding an additional driver to car insurance vs having 2 policies?

Who gets cheaper insurance guys or girls?

Do I need to be on the insurance to go to and from school in my friends car?

I am 16 years old and I have my drivers permit, is it legal to drive myself and my sister to and from school in my friends car without being on the insurance policy? its my friends dad car and I want to use it for school..""

Can i be on my grandma's car insurance even if we don't live together?

Im a 19 year old female and want to buy a car but car insurance is just too much! i want to be put on my grandmothers car insurance but we don't live in the same city. Do you think it would be possible for me to get on there!!

What auto insurance does aarp offer?

the name of the insurance (auto) offered to aarp subscribers

Which is the best insurance for pregnancy ?

We are planning a kid in the near future. What insurance policy should I get so that out-of-pocket expenses are minimal ...... HMO, PPO ? Which is the best ? Please advice.""

Insurance Fraud? Help!?

A couple days ago I was driving to a doctors appointment, I was rushing and very nervous. I got to a road that was closed where I had to back up. I looked behind me and saw no cars. Then I started talking to my mother who was in the car about if the road was closed or just partly blocked off. I looked in my mirrors and started to back up, somehow I must have missed the car that was very close behind me. I barely tapped the bumper, my mom didn't even realize it happened that's how slight the tap was. The woman immediately jumped out of her car and started screaming and cussing like a maniac. The police blocking the road even noticed and had to come over to control her. There was no damage to my car or hers, however she was driving a 92 buick and it was a piece of junk. I was worried she'd try to get something out of the whole thing so I took pictures of everything. This must have made her angry and she started trying to take pictures of my mother and I as well as bird poop on my car? Today I got a call from her insurance agency, saying she claimed injuries, a cracked windshield, and a messed up bumper. I am so angry! I know I did not do any damage, much less injure her! I'm a collage student and really can't afford my rates going up because of this. I called my insurance company and sent them pictures. They are trying to investgate. Anyway, has anyone else experienced something like this? How do these things usually turn out? Is this insurance fraud on her part?""

""What is the cheapest car insurance company, In Pa?""

I am looking to see what car insurance would be cheapest between, allstate, state farm, nationwide, geico, progressive, esurance, 21 century, unitrin Direct ???? HELP""

How can i find good affordable insurance?

Which Health Insurance Benefits do I choose?

I am finally eligible for health benefits at work. My wife has recently decided to attend school, so therefore I will have to include her in my benefits. With so many to choose from, I wanted to find out options. To skip the PPO, since it's overpriced at my job, I will list several I am considering. First, we are both healthy couple, we are on our early 30s, and planning on having kids, so maternity has to include. My work offers AETNA California Small Business group plan. Here are the following I am considering.... 1. HEALTH SAVINGS ACCOUNT (HSA) - Really considering due to the tax advantage, but you have to select a high deductible heath plan (HDHA). We have HSA $3000 deductible, HSA $2500, HSA $2000, and HSA $3300. 2. We also have HMO with co-pays ranging from $10 to $50 3. Aetna Value Network (AVN) HMO with copays $10 to $50 With so many selection, my head is starting to spin. So if someone can enlighten me the deductible they chose if you are planning to have kids and also saving tips on selecting the health benefits that would work for a couple. Considering with high prices on health insurance, I am luck enough to have a decent company that can provide fair prices.""

Why do people keep comparing health insurance to car insurance?

Liberals justify a Federal Mandate to carry health insurance by comparing it to govt. mandates on car insurance. The Government cannot force anyone to purchase anything. Driving is a choice , and if you choose to drive you understand that you need to purchase insurance. Living is not a choice!!!! Does anyone agree?""

Anyone know where to get esthetics liability insurance?

I am working as an independent contractor. Any suggestions for insurance companies?

Cost of Car Insurance for an Escalade EXT?

Need to switch car insurance?

i am 18 and a female, i have a car under my parents name along with the insurance. last year i was in a car accident, and this year my insurance went up to $2000 a year with statefarm. i have to come up with $400 for the renewal period now. we've looked for insurance to something cheaper but cant find anything...can anybody help me find a cheaper insurance or where to look for one. thank you so much""

I need cheap car insurance?

I stay in Virginia and i got a job that don't pay good. After I pay rent I have nothing just gas to get to work. I need very cheap insurance can anyone help please??

Should I get $500 deductible or $250 on car insurance?

does it make sense to get higher deductible to save premium or is that a scam? clubny2007 coming soon

What is the best car insurance company for drivers over 50 age?

in Toronto

How do pilot insure themselves in the USA?

Is that covered by the owner of the airplane or do they need to have their own personal insurance?

Is there a age limit to qualify to get car insurance in California?

I am 17 1/2 years old, and I just saved up enough money to buy my own car. Can I insure the car by myself??""

How much would these cars cost to run per month?

renault clio 1.2... citron Saxo.... corsa (old) including tax , m.o.t and insurance and watever you have to pay for :) x""

""Buying a car with rebuild, or salvage title?""

I live in Texas, what is the policies/laws for buying a Salvage title or rebuild title car? What exactly is a Salvage title, and am i allow to have it insure by insurance company? ...show more""

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

What health insurance company would work?

what insurance would be cheapest for a 18 year old female with no health problems?

illinois insurance association

Car Insurance question..Im confussed ?? ( uk )?

O.k so Im a new driver and bought a car and signed up with insurance which worked out about 60 a month. My car broke down beyond repair and I have suspended my insurance as had to scrap the car. Now I been on car insurance websites to compare many different cars to see which is cheapest and all my other details are same but no matter what car details i put (different ages/ values) but all small cars similar to my last vehicle the quote comes up double the cost at over 110. Why is this ?

I am growing my insurance agency. Any sugguestions on how to avoid the time consuming busywork ?

I am good at getting people to buy from me, but hate all busywork . I am licensed and live in California, and sell personal health, life, car, and home insurance. I recognize that by not doing all the work, from running the quote to entering the data, that I should not be entitle to the full sum of the commission the carriers pay. Is there any franchise out there that has people who do all the deskwork so I can sell more? Its worth it to me to trade off part of the commish if I can get more people to buy from me. And I feel confident that I can bring more and more people in. My problem is that I lose oodles of time working their dec pages, typing in all their data to the various carriers.. Note: please dont answer if you are a recruiter. I am really looking for a good honest perspective from someone who has been in my shoes......Thanks so much.""

Can anyone tell me how much insurance companys pays out for vauxhall vectras 2 litre v reg with 55.00 miles?

ive just had my car written off i had a vauxhall vecrta 2 litre sri 1999 v reg with alloys in emmaculate condition.my insurance company is direct line insurance.has any body out there help me in estimating the value of the car that the insurance company will pay me for my car as being a total loss thanks the milage on the car was 55.000 on the clock

New health insurance law I'm so confused?

My husband is half Indian so he can go to the Indian clinic whenever he wants and it's free. Does that mean he still needs insurance?

Switching car insurance?

I am thinking of switching to Esurance, it's about $25 a month cheaper than my current insurance. Anyone have any experience or knowledge of Esurance? How hard is it to switch?""

Cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Where can i get cheap car insurance? I'm now 18, and I did use to drive a 1.2 Renault Clio, but I had to sell it, because the insurance was so high. I've been looking at other cars with small engines, and I have been using price comparison sites, but the cheapest quote I ever got was 3000 (and have done Pass Plus too!!) Is there any way to make insurance cheaper, or is there any insurance companies, that specialise insurance for young drivers with Pass Plus? And is there any other ways to make quotes cheaper? Please help :)""

State Farm insurance?

I have my own insurance and it was. 230 a month now I am getting a new car and I need collusion I am getting a Honda civic sedan 2012 white can anyone tell me an estimate on how much my insurance will go up Ps the car is financed . I have State Farm, I am 20 years old I reside in ny and I have had no accident""

How much should a 17 year old's car insurance cost in the UK?

i'm 17 and want to drive. i'm a full time college student, which probably doesn't make any difference? right now i'm looking at a 2001 VAUXHALL CORSA 1.6 engine, LS 5dr [AC] Hatchback, which is costing around 999 how much should i expect the insurance to cost for this car? or for a car similar? it will be my first car. Thanks.""

Dental insurance ? Or medical insurance payment plans ?

Hi I'm a 20 year old and I currently am looking for a dental insurance an in California but I don't know what good company is good and not as expensive since I do live on my owns and stuff. I really need to go get my teeth checked up but I can't afford to go in a visit with no dental insurance. Someone please help. What are good entail company's that get get me approved on a good payment plan or something pease ans thank you for your time?

How much does motorcycle insurance normaly cost?

im 17 and im going to buy a yamaha r6 or a honda cbr600rr this month and im wondering about how much insurance would cost. the website quotes take forever to get so id just like to know how much other bikers pay for their insurance.

Oregon car insurance?

Can I give my daughter my car registered in my name and she get car insurance for it?

What is the best way to find cheap auto insurance in california?

Insurance company policy?

I was hit in a wreck. They're insurance company quoted me $400 and wrote me a check for it which I did not accept. All they did was look at the external damages. Then I took it to a dealer collision center and they quoted me $1100 and they guessed more damage was done but couldn't say unless they took apart my bumper. I'm not wanting to get it fixed in a shop since my father can fix it for me, but $400 is not going to cover the cost of fixing it. so my question is... Does their insurance company have to give me the money quoted by other body shops or is my only option having it fixed in a shop?""

Does insurance cost more on old cars?

I'm thinking of buying a 1984 Volkswagon Vanagon. The car is said to be in good condition, but I'm wondering if it costs more to insure an older car because of the repairs and things it might need. If it does cost more, how much? Thanks.""

Car insurance in the USA?

i'm from the UK and planning on taking a across america roadtrip, and thought it would be cheaper to buy a car when i first arrive and sell it again before i leave. 1. being from the uk would i be allowed to buy a car not being a US resident? 2. how does car insurance work and what sort of cost is car insurance?""

Cheapest motorcycle insurance in Utah?

I am a first time rider, what is the cheapest inurance I can get in the Salt Lake area?""

Affordable cheap dental insurance?

I'm 21 and need dental insurance.. I need to be able to see a dentist if I need to and would like braces so that % off with the dental would be great . What are some affordable dental insurance plans for myself? thanks!

What is a penalty in MA for driving a car with no insurance?

I was involved in the car accident recently... I was driving in Boston the uninsured car with the New Hampshire registration. But in NH car insurance is not compulsory. The hearing will be held on my case, which is considered to be criminal. If somebody ever been in the similar situation ,plz, share your experience!""

General car insurance question(s)?

Which will cost more in car insurance, generally: a passenger sedan (maybe a 1999 Honda Civic) or a pickup truck (1995 Chevrolet Silverado 1500, perhaps)? Also, if I have two trucks, both exactly the same, only, one has 2-wheel drive and one has 4-wheel drive, which will cost more in insurance? If one will infact cost more, will the difference be significant enough to matter? I live in Colorado. 4-wheel drive is desirable with the snow and ice, but if it will cost significantly more in insurance, I can't justify it.""

What makes car insurance car insurance?

I always wondered. Not to brag or anything, but my family is so rich that we really don't need car insurance. If something were to happen we would be able to take care of it. So basically we waste hundreds of dollars each year on car insurance. Is there a way we could have our own insurance card to issue to a police? What makes car insurance companies able to function and not me?""

Health insurance and vehicle insurance in U.S.?

Hi, I have heard that in U.S. getting health insurance and your vehicle insurance is mandatory and not your option/choice. Is that true? If yes, what is the rationale behind government enforcing this on citizens? Thanks

My bf claims if he adds my name to his car insurance he will get it loads cheaper?

is this true? i cant drive i ahvent knwon him long and his insurance is due for renewal which is over 500 quid so he says he can reduce that amount by 150 quid if he adss my name is this true and legal? i wondered why he asked for my date of birth and postcode says he just forgot

Traffic Citation: Insurance?

I received a traffic citation for speeding. I am not listed on my parents insurance card, but I am online. Online I appear as --- list only, driver under 21 never licensed my license number is not listed as well. Only my name and birthdate. -- Also it shows that I don't not have any rights as the insured drivers. Will their insurance rate increase even though I am not insured or listed as list only ? ** Included picture **""

Where is the best place for cheap car insurance for my 17 year old son?

Help!! My son has passed his driving test aged 17 but the insurance we've been looking at astronomical!! Can anyone advise me on any good deals :)

What is the best Home Insurance?

What is the best Home Insurance company? How much should I expect to pay each month for Home Insurance for a $300,000 brand new home? Are there things that I should include in my Home Insurance policy that is not mentioned to me? The home is in Fresno California.""

illinois insurance association

Liability Insurance?

I'm organizing a concert, and I'm having an issue with liability insurance. Where can I get some? And what is it all about anyway?""

Car insurances for a day help?

I just need to drive my car to my new apartment.Right now i don't have car insurances. Is there any way i can get car insurances just for a day. I live in new jersey. I know i can get a car insurances quote but i don't have enough money right now I just need to move it

I have title to my exes car and pay their insurance. How do I get out of it?

Me and my girl broke up a year and a half ago. She's a real piece of work. We lived together for 3 years and had everything is each others names. Utility bills, cell phone bills etc. She never paid any of her bills on time and it destroyed her credit. I signed for a car for her because she's had multiple DUI's and didn't have the credit to get her own. She made the payments on it and I never put any money down. The car title is in my name and she has paid it off. She can't get insurance because of the DUI's. I just want to be done with it so I don't have to deal with her anymore but she wants me to hold off until she finished her DUI classes to get a reasonable rate on insurance. She's been telling me the same thing for a year plus. I'm not even sure if she's taken or taking these classes yet or not. I asked her about it the other day and she never responded to me. I had left her a voicemail and she never called me back. This really pisses me off. So my question is if I sign the title and make her sign it as well do I have any more resposibility with the automobile? I just want to drop her from my insurance and give her the title. Is she wrecks or, god forbid, kills someone while driving am I liable for anything?""

How much will insurance cost on a 1973 Dodge Challenger?

I am looking to buy one and its going to be under my parents name so I was just wondering if anyone can give me an estimate. Thanks!

""Question for the car dealer...getting used cars for resale rock bottom..Manheim, Insurance Auto or co-part?""

ok.. I want to try my hand ( and if it works .. I will apply to be a dealer or some sorts myself ) at getting cars low price and selling them quick of like 10-20% profit. I 'd like to know what's the best place to buy cars CHEAP ( even if they are sightly damaged ) .....and resell them....Manheim ( I know thats a dealer-to-dealer auction . So I'd expect stuff to be very well marked on the price tag)... copart or Insurance Auto ( iaai as its called ) which one sells cars that are otherwise roadworthy , but very well discounted ( though some might need a cosmetic facelift )""

I just hit a car. how much will the damage cost?

I was driving out of a parking garage and took a turn too tight and my door scraped a parked car's bumper. it scraped the paint on the left side of their bumper-about the size of a football. it looks like it can be buffed out. but on the top of the scraped part there is a broken part about the length of my forearm-not broken exactly, it is a length of spiderweb-cracks in the plastic. The car is a small black one but i dont know the make. i left a note in their windshield with my number on it. i want to pay for the damage myself so my insurance doesnt go up. does anyone have an estimate on how much this will cost?""

Do I recieve cheaper car tax or insurance under theese circumstances?

I recieve higher rate disability and middle rate mobility DLA and my dad is my carer

E&O insurance?

Any suggestions on where or from what company I can buy affordable E&O insurance? I'm in GA with a soon-to-be life and health license.

Can I drive my parents car without Insurance?

So I live in MA and I was wondering if I will get into trouble if I drive my parents car (which is insured under my dads name) when I am home for the Thanksgiving break (my name is not on my dad's insurance). Will having a written consent from my dad permitting me to drive the car help?

Motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

Hey guys im only 14 but out of curiosity I would love to know about how much a month insurance would be part time on a motorcycle for a 16 year old or 18 year old. Im looking at a yamaha r6. So give me some guesses or if you know for sure thats even better. Thanks

Are hearing aids covered by health insurance?

Since I was born, I've had a hearing problem on my left ear that I have to go to the audiologist for every year, and every year they say my ability to hear in it goes down by a fragment. I'm 16 now, and in high school, and they originally tried to get me to get hearing aids in 6th grade, but I threw a fit because I was afraid people would make fun of me, and they haven't brought it up since. This year I'm really noticing that my hearing is shot. I'm constantly asking people to repeat things, and whenever someone says something to me and I'm not looking at their mouth, it's all a jumbled mess. If there are a lot of people talking, and someone is standing directly in front of me, but I'm not looking at their mouth, I miss probably a fifth of what they say. I've been thinking about getting hearing aids, but I was wondered if they were covered by insurance. My mom gets the insurance through Fl Hospital, if that helps, and as I'm just now looking into it, I don't know many more details about it.""

If you have two insurances...?

We have two medical insurances on our children. Should there still be a copay? Should having 2 insurances cancel out the copay?

""Auto Insurance, Please Help!?""

What are good coverage amounts for Bodily Injury, Property Damage, Medical Payments, Uninsured Motorist and Under-insured Motorist for auto insurance? I just want to make sure i have enough coverage for my insurance.""

Insurance for my mom & me?

so say if my mom goes to get her permit could she get a insurance policy then list me as the main driver on it ? i have my licenses but i am only 17 and i can take out my own policy so could this happen ? i live in ny and since i am not 18 could this work for my mom to get her permit & get car insurance policy since she is old ?

What is a reliable car with a low insurance group?

I've done a little research and noticed they put cars together in insurance groups - like 2e for example. Is the letter for the level of security - so is 'e' bad, for example and 'a' good? Could someone please explain the process, and as I've just passed (I'm 18) - could you name a suitable car for me - lower insurance bracket if possible?""

How much more would insurance cost if I bought a coupe car instead of a sedan?

I'm 17 years old, had my license for 9 months. I want to buy a coupe car but my mom said the insurance will be really high. Around how much higher would it be if i bought a car like a honda civic 2001-2004 coupe then a honda civic 2001-2004 sedan?""

How much is car insurance usually in UK?

I live in London and don't have a clue about this thing but I just passed my test at 29 and hope to get a decent looking car that has had a previous owner and don't under all this quote business. I've got about 2670 to spend. So half of that will be for a deposit. How much do most people spend on insurance a year and what would be a cheap price range for me to look for? How much should it be for a month?

What do you think about life insurance? Do you have it? Details below.?

My dad got life insurance 10 yeras ago, and now the price of the premium has increased 8 times more than what we were paying. Since his 10 years of life insurance at the affordable rate has expired, I'm thinking of asking him to renew it, but we were paying at such an affordable price. But he doesn't want life insurance and doesn't seem to care about protecting the family in case of his death. But I'm wondering, is life insurance that is something really worth it? My dad is a healthy individual. And even if we pay, would the premium have gotten up? My add is over 50, and I'm wondering if our premium will double even though if they check his health again. What do you think?""

How much would full coverage insurance be with 2 points on my license?

I am almost 24 and I want to get a new car but I'm not sure how much I can afford a month because I'm not sure how much full coverage insurance would be. I was recently in an accident so I have 2 points on my license and never paid full coverage so I have no idea around how much it would be.

Is it worth the effort to compare auto insurance companies?

I have been with the same auto insurance agency my whole adult life. When my husband and I got married, he switched over and started using the same agency I have always used. Our insurance rates seem to continually increase, though, and so recently I have been wondering if we should start looking around for a better premium. I would definitely love to save some money on our auto insurance, but I dont know if its worth the time and energy it would take to shop around. Is it worth the effort to compare insurance companies? If so, how do I begin my search?""

Will i need cash deposit or visa to get rental car after accident in which other party is at fault?

i did not have insurance at time of accident. i live in california.

How does car insurance work when making a claim?

What happens when a claim is made after an accident? If a car is written off how much does this insurance company pay? If a car is repaired by the insurance company what happens then? I guess they pay for the damage, but do they pay any extra? If the car is repaired then the value of the car will drop, therefore leaving the driver out of pocket even though the damage was not the drivers fault. How does it work? Cheers""

Can a ticket in another state affect my insurance rates?

How long does it take for car insurance to lower rates?

I have been with GEICO auto insurance for roughly 1year and then another approximately 4-5years. I had a break due to joining the military. At this time i receive coverages every 6 months. The problem i have with GEICO is that i been paying just about the same since I started and just recently my rate went down only 20 dollars. I have been in one accident with an elderly who passed a stop sign, a speeding ticket of driving 35 on a 25 and i believe two seat belt tickets. Nothing in the last two years or more. What do i do to get my rates lowered without effecting the quality of coverage. When do insurance companies lower their rates??""

""I need cheap car insurance, which company would be best?

I'm a freshman in college getting a car and I have a tight budget. Please help.

illinois insurance association

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tennessee-farm-bureau-insurance-knoxville-jayden-tucker/"

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