#i live my life by that phrase
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#art#artwork#original poem#poem#poems on tumblr#poetry#digital art#owl#i love owls#do it scared#i live my life by that phrase#agoraphobia#not going to be posting as often so i dont burn myself out as much#i actually enjoy this one#i took a little break and it made me feel better about art#ok im done yapping now#j'adore les chouettes
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Why is Nick such an asshole to Taylor and the film? He already toldAmazon he will nto be doing the sequel.
I don't like answering this type of questions so I'll make it as complete as I can, so people can get a life outside their own expectations. (I'm not defending Nick, I'm stating facts.)
First of all, let's not spread false rumors. Nick has not dropped the project. (I'm baffled on how this rumor could start in the first place)
Nick signed a contract for the sequel, he has responsibilities towards it, and consequences if he doesn't follow it. Regardless, it's not us who decide the terms. If he ever decides to leave the project, he'll make a choice and ponder the consequences.
"He could do more". Well, he also could do less. He's an actor and does his job however he feels like. (Do y'all care about every single aspect of your own jobs or studies? Bet you have priorities, right?)
In pop culture, there's this conception of the artist "owes his fans". While I'm inclined to love fanservice of all kind because it makes us, fans, feel appreciated, no one forces us to be a fan, meanwhile the artists are forced to do fanservice as long as they want or their contracts stipulates that.
Now let me go onto the specific part of Nicholas' life and personality.
Let's remind ourselves that we can be the biggest fans and yet know nothing about our favorite celebrities. They show us what they want us to know, it's our choice to decide what we want to follow, hear or understand.
As far as we know Nick, he's always been a quiet reserved person, who suffers from anxiety, doesn't like big social events and hardly uses social media (especially in the recent years)
He's somewhat a fearful person who decides to step outside his comfort zone. We can know that from his song Comfort.
Nick has talked about how one of his "great fears is being misunderstood." You can read about it in the article RWRB related from BritishGQ in which he compares his fear with Henry's experience.
Nick has been showing multiple times in multiple occasions how he loved Henry and loved playing him. He wouldn't have said "yes" to a sequel if he didn't want to. (I'd also say it's a big deal since Nick has always only played in project that didn't get a sequel, and he consciously decided to agree to it.)
In Nick's career, we can see how diverse and interesting his characters must be. He's drawn to peculiar characters and when he finds one, he puts everything he has to offer into it. This leads him to focus on other characters that aren't the same static one from a year or two ago. (He moves on to the next project, and I don't see anything bad about it.)
Working a lot means schedule conflicts and Nick has always had this problem. If he doesn't work on something new, he rests while doing his little hobbies. (Does he need to attend every social event if he doesn't want to? Do y'all ever rest? And if you don't, can other rest instead?)
I added my personal opinion in parenthesis so it doesn't get confused with the facts. Nick is a human with personal interests, ranked scale of values and personal life.
If you don't want to be a fan, don't be. If you want to be a hater, talk it to the wall instead of harming or annoy others. If you have expectations over other people, learn to manage what you can't control. If you think you're in control of someone else, you're not.
Now, excuse me I'll go back to watch RWRB with Henry played by Nicholas Galitzine, the actor who took his fragile character and held him in his hand, and protected him.
#the unhealthy behavior of comparing Taylor and Nick since the movie came out is getting out of hands#I don't understand why Nick must have a different treatment#then his haters are the same ones who repost about “taking care of your own mental health” “rest when you're tired” “work isn't everything”#i might repost things related to “nick loved playing henry” in the next few days#or maybe i won't cause i have freewill like everyone does#did i expect Nick to show up at the emmys? yes. Did he? No. Did I complain like a 5 yo who didn’t get candies? Yes but in my own head.#like y'all get a grip at some point c'mon#I don't like using set phrases but get a life now instead of hating on artists for not spoiling you#go get an ice cream or something#relax and live your own life#Nick is definitely doing so#red white and royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#nicholas galitzine#taylor zakhar perez
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scribbles based on my Another Wonderful Life file where i discovered Rock and Nami showing up together at Vesta’s farmhouse late at night on multiple occasions to cause various types of chaos and disturbance and havoc until Marlin and Vesta’s bedtime (which they both announce in unison to kick everyone out) this included
Rock levitating and attempting to rizz up vesta
Nami making a beeline for Celia’s room where she stands around making very subtle remarks (celia isn’t even in her room)
Marlin Enduring
haunting crime scene photos of the shenanigans:
#bokumono#my art#harvest moon#rock tumbling (sos)#hm anwl#harvest moon a wonderful life#hm awl#story of seasons#harvest moon another wonderful life#rock (awl)#cora clownposting content#nami (awl)#marlin (awl)#awl pony#sos awl#story of seasons a wonderful life#hmanwl#for some reason i’m very amused when people visit each other in awl#levitating rock reminded me of mystery of the druids somehow. hence lowryposing#marlin is halligan coded. to me#rock and marlin were both on the murders squad when they lived in the city and fought for dominance over the pair of scissors#(the scissors don’t belong to either of them)#marlin’s myriad health issues come from his diet of pitza and cigarettes and straight medical alcohol#also the last picture is inspired by a very suspicious line vesta says in response to seeing the milker#which somehow sounds worse in japanese because of the phrasing#instead of ‘planning to milk me?’ she’s like ‘are you trying to squeeze mine?’#anyway. rock would take her ‘i’d like to see you try!’ literally and then get killed i think#i’m sorry (not sorry enough)#after analyzing everyone’s dialogue very scientifically i once again feel that the girls anwl lines have 1000% more bittersweet yearning#(no bias in analysis at all) i can’t explain it their lines obviously were targeted at me to make me long for them
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wanted to draw my interpretation of future leo's Whole Deal and ended up with this
#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt leo#hamato leonardo#future leo#my turtle art#future leo realizing that the life in the apocalypse is the only one most of their younger kids survivors know and that in order for them#to build towards a better future they have to know what happiness and peace- even in small doses- looks like. and he can't give up or#live without regard for his own life because people are looking up to him as their example: oh god. oh god oh god anyways lets karaoke!!#based directly off the classic images#'optimistic nihilism' wasnt exactly the phrase i was looking for but. ah well.
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Everyone worrying about Merrill sooooo much and always trying to make sure she's safe when she's walking alone because she's so sweet and unobservant inside her own head all the time omg what if something happens 💔 meanwhile Adrian gets pickpocketed literally every time he's in a crowd of any size and nobody gives a fuck.
#''can i have my wallet back please'' being the first phrase i teach my boyfriend in elvhen not so much as a commentary on the#general demographics of pickpockets but more because it just seems particularly relevant to the life he lives#and the things that generally happen to him
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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i’m with you till the end of the line. or, you know, till someone figures out time travel and i can go marry that lady who already lived a full life because i owe her a dance
#Guys. is anyone still here it’s 2024#im Thinking about in catws when peggy was like#‘i have lived a life. my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours’#she lived her life & she got married and had kids !#they took her agency & independence imo like ugh Fuck whatever was going on in endgame#and what was the point of them having this extremely meaningful phrase between them. what is the point!!!!#if when cap finally saves the world & bucky is no longer in danger he just leaves him!!#okay it’s not that serious but im mad about the lost potential#winter soldier brainworms#soapbox#txt#stevebucky#kind of
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also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.
not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like
the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that
#eliot posts#taz#taz ethersea#the adventure zone#amber gris#drugs cw#death mention#i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god.#i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it#but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it#and it's like.#my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends'#but i've known ppl who talked like her.#specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young#for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot#he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand#he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids#he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time.#it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway#so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual.#i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast#but they did it well i think#even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?
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oughhhh
urgghhhhh,,,
dungeon meshi my love]]]]
#dungeon meshi#I expected this to be a silly cooking manga and my expectations were delightfully blown out the roof and oughhh#there's something so arousing about stories like this that question morality and our own humanity/mortality#along with its views of death and fear/concerns and eventual acceptance and somewhat understanding of life from it along with the phrase#eat or be eaten/ to eat is to love and to eat is the privilege of life#I love how this manga central theme is around eating and is executed perfectly and carried out beautifully throughout the series#not to mention how it is ultimately one of the main points of the antagonist who is hungry but cannot satisfy that hunger#I think the premise of this story was explored and written quite beautifully and I CANT SAY ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF HUNGER AN#LIVING#OIGHHHHH
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"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" being said like that's a bad thing. How beautiful is it that the memories and experiences my body has gone through will be etched into me, even if temporary, even if it isn't "flattering"? Why would I want to be alive if it meant that I am not permitted to live? And why should I avoid myself like I am a sin, like I am a curse, worse than death and pain?
I will envelop myself in layers of care and love, even if it means that I am slightly different. I will continue to do so even if I am alone. I have survived long enough. I will rest now, I will find peace.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#recovery#body shaming#body shaming tw#fatphobia tw#disordered eating tw#disordered eating mention tw#i swear i will fucking hunt whomever came up with that phrase#pleasure can be temporary without it being cast as sinful and shameful. the temporary is just as important as the permanent <3#like... wow i kept a small frame throughout my life but at what cost. why would i torture myself with that#i will do what is best for *me* and not society actually. maybe i'm selfish when i say i wanna *live*#because i have survived without living long enough and i deserve to rest#(and you do too. you have endured and survived long enough. let your weary bones rest for once)
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@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.
#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#the set design dude#the world is just decaying around Owen as they’re dying from the inside out#everything starts losing color and we stop seeing Owen out in the bright sunlight#the only shot that’s there that’s nice and bright and wonderful is the one of maddys burial spot#the split second pause after the drive thru worker calls Owen sir#like it was just physically painful to hear and they needed a second#the fact they just start apologizing for having a breakdown but there’s still time and they shouldn’t be doing that#they phrase it as needing to become a man but really all they’re doing is killing themself slowly over time#i 100% read Maddy and Owen/Isabel and Tara as t4t love where one of them was ready to come out and move on with their life while the other#is too scared to ever change and is stuck in an endless loop of being something they’re not#Owen has the personality of wet grass but that’s the entire point#being too scared to ever be anything more than what is expected and just rotting over years and year and just hating yourself all the while#I love the part where Owen can’t verbalize why exactly their romantic attraction feels wrong#it’s wrong because they’re trans and can’t incision a life as Owen but can’t say out loud that it’s being perceived as a male in#a relationship that is the problem#the jab the dad makes about pink opaque being a girl’s show and how the dad is the one to drag Owen away from freedom in the tv#he’s holding Owen back but they’re so fucking scared to live as Isabel and are just stuck in a cycle of self loathing#but there’s still time#the reason Maddy/Tara doesn’t come back is because there is still time#but Owen has to be the one to commit to being Isabel and no one else is going to drag them into the dirt#it’s their choice alone and their inaction is a choice all on its own#no matter how much time passes as long as Owen is alive then there is still time to change but their inaction is slowly killing them#the fact they find the truth in their own chest dude that’s such a trans thing#where the fuck is my insurance card I’m calling my doctor to start t when the offices open#THERES STILL TIME MAN#THERES STILL TIME
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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i think some of yall genuinely don't see jews as human or know how to treat us as such and it's extremely clear
#s.txt#will i keep posting this sentiment in slightly different phrasing for the rest of time?#probably at least until it stops being true#i have truly just reached a point where i don't feel like i can trust western gentiles to see us as people period#i don't have confidence that yall won't flip on a switch and declare me one of the bad ones#simply because i'm uncomfortable with people using a phrase originated by neo-nazis#or a million other things#i'm just so so tired#in my bones is this deep burning frustration and distrust and also fear#and i think i just have to live with that for the rest of my life. exhausting.
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💐
#shocked with myself (maybe pleasantly surprised? is the right phrase)#at actually liking barbie a great deal more than i had prepared myself to#it was just a lot more sincere than i had expected; i was afraid it wouldn't be/be more on the snarky side of cinema lately#but it was strangely so much more heartfelt than that#of course some points felt rushed/too on the nose#but the girls and ryan gosling made me so happy#and her at the end saying (spoilers obvs) that yes YES she does want to take life by the hand and pay the price to live and live#also as a former representative of unrequited love the throughline felt a lot gentler than i was prepared for it to be#it was a lot more about emotion and the joy of growing up and growing old than i expected#i don't necessarily think its heart is as pure as a truly great movie??#but it didn't laugh AT you. it made you laugh and it also meant what it said#which idk idk in a sea of endless winks at the camera laughing obnoxiously loudly media i appreciated the at least#wanting to live and live well aspect of it all and how it took that seriously#like someone on my dash said. i don't really know if it was a good movie?? but the borders of my mind are stretched#something in me is dreaming because of it. so i think that at least is worth it all#also all the girls in the theater laughing their heads off did something to me!!!#there were countless friends (including mine) decked out in pink and it was so so so sweet to me#(anyway. you didn't need these thoughts and maybe I'll retract it later when I've come down from the high of hugging both my buddies)
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gOSH I can't stop thinking about how cool it is that my friend is seeing Eric perform today....... GETTING TO SEE ALAN AND ERIC WITHIN SIX MONTHS OF ONE ANOTHER.... agGGghghG gotta add her experience to my essay 🙏 certified price-burdon moment!!!!!!!
#the fact that both alan and eric acknowledged and thanked me for my art this year also means a lot to me 🥹🥹🥹#they're both so kind despite everything and you can tell that above all else the music and its impact on people still means the most to the#i am still not over meeting alan either.......that night replays in my head every single day 😭😭💙#i'm afraid i have a counter argument to the phrase 'never meet your heroes'#as long as the hero-worship doesn't get to your head and you consider them flawless human beings#meeting the people who created art that changed your life for the better and seeing them perform live is truly an experience like no other#making plans to meet my 'hero' did wonders for my mental health... didn't cure anything of course because i have a Bad Brain but#having goals seriously makes the day a whole lot easier to tackle#hence why i want to see him again <3#ALAN..... THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING MY BOOK#ERIC..... THANK YOU FOR BEING SO NICE TO ME AND LIKING MY ART#jOHN TOO!!!!! JOHN LIKES MY ART TOO!!!!!!!#aNIMALS ARE MY FRIENDS.... THEY LIKE ME#aaAAAAA ANIMALS okay i really need a dr pepper#preparing myself for a big animal art post tomorrow#things i said today
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medical websites love to be like “how to stop having physical stress symptoms: 1. be in less stressful situations 2. don’t be stressed”
#oliver.mp3#girl for one i have anxiety for two stressful things continue to happen#sorry but taking deep breaths and going for walks will not fix my moms broken leg or get me another job#or get me back the $6000 i just spent on my cat’s er vet bill#meditation doesn’t pay the rent#i still haven’t done anything creative since the year started pretty much#bc i feel like i shouldn’t be focusing on anything but how to fix my situation#time spent drawing is time i could be spending applying for jobs. why would i spend time writing when it’s not making me money#i’m sick of living like this like truly it has been the last whole fucking year and it just keeps getting worse#what did i do to deserve this like truly why me#why do these events feel so specifically calculated and timed to drain our bank accounts and stress me out further#i think abt that phrase it has to get worse before it gets better. so every time something happens i’m like ok it’s gonna get better now#but somehow it continues to get worse#i feel like i’m watching my entire life crumble away right before my eyes everything me and my mom have worked for is just dwindling#and i’m only fucking 20
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