#i live in my own reality where they got together and founded jackson together

[mariatesstruther]

OKAY BUT

THIS TESS WITH THIS MARIA LIKE??? SORRY MILLERS, MOVE THE FUCK OVER. I SAID MOVE

[cardierreh15]

The Real Thing

This is just a sequel for Wet Dreams 😈 do with that info as you see fit lol. I’m not spoiling.

I do not give anyone permission to repost or copy my work!!

Warnings 18+: Smut , Cursing , Sloppy Kissing , Oral Sex (Male Receiving) , Cheating (Affair) , CowGirl , Doggy Style , CumShot in the mouth (AND SHE SWALLOWS)

Description: What would you do if you had the opportunity to make your dreams a reality?

Pairings: Walter Marshall x Amarilla(Black!Plus Size Female)

Word Count: 4.3K

Song: Break Of Dawn by Michael Jackson

Ever since that meeting with Amarilla, Walter had been trying to keep himself busy. Whenever the time would tick on by with nothing to busy it, he found himself thinking about her.

Wondering how she was doing was one of his thoughts but it was probably the most innocent thought he had about her.

He would lay in his bed, or his couch (which ever one he had energy to make it to) and just ponder what she looked like beneath that yellow body con dress she wore. It was skin tight; complimenting her curves, dimples and dips. Not to mention, the color on her flesh caused oxytocin to cloud his brain. So he would just bite the bullet, and stroke his aching member; pretending it was her hands instead.

‘This is so bad… Matt’s gonna kill me.’ He’d say to himself but based on his career choice, it was evident that he liked to live dangerously. Just the simple thought of her being had by another man drove him nuts! But it made him want her even more. He wanted something he couldn’t have…

Or so he thought.

It was a rainy night; Walter was sitting on the couch looking at some photos that were scattered across the table top. He then heard a frantic knocking at the door.

‘Hmmm.’ He hummed as he stood up and walked towards the door. Peaking through the peep hole, the individual had their back turned and was covered and protected by a big puffy jacket. Safe from that dreadful rain. ‘Who is it?’ He called out.

The person turned around and pushed their hoodie back. It was then revealed that the individual was a distressed Amarilla. ‘Walter! It’s Amarilla,’ she sniffed and wiped her nose and eyes, ‘Can I come in please?’

Quickly unlocking the door, he pulled the door open to see her standing there with her face wet from her own tears. ‘H-hi.’ She tried her best to fake a smile, but her head just fell.

‘Amarilla, w-what’s going on? It’s—‘ he looked down at his watch, ‘11:34 at night!’

She let out a shaky sigh and looked up as she tried to gather her own thoughts, ‘Can I come in… I just— I need someone to talk to…’ she wiped her nose one more time and Walter let her in.

Unzipping and pushing her big coat off of her shoulders, she look around his apartment. It was damn near empty. Didn’t have personality. It looked like a simple hotel room. ‘Where are all the pictures?’ She asked in concern.

‘Never got the time to put them up,’ he shut the door and locked it, suddenly a sob ripped though the air. Quickly, he turned around to see Amarilla crying in her hands. His heart twisted at the terrible sight. She was way too beautiful to be crying like this.

‘Amarilla,’ he said softly as he pressed his lips together, ‘I don’t know what’s going on but look, I’ll put some tea on the stove and you can tell me all about it OK?’

She picked her head up, sniffing hard as she looked over at him, ‘that’ll—that’ll be nice, Walter. Thank you.’ She gave him a weakened smile and sighed.

Walter then walked over and picked up the gruesome photos off of the table, stacked them together neatly and placed them backside up on the dining room table. After that, he went in the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the table, and dropped two chamomile tea bags in two mugs.

Once back in the living, he’d placed her mug in her hands and sat his down on the coaster. ‘Thank you.’ She mumbled before blowing onto the hot substance.

‘Anytime,’ he said softly. His blue tired eyes watched her lips wrap around the mug, and then drifted down to the nape of her neck. Spots he wanted to kiss and lick so bad. Clearing his throat, he finally spoke up, ‘So, what happened?’ Leaning over and picked up his mug and took a sip of his tea.

Amarilla set her mug down on the coaster and let out a long deep breath, ‘I … I had to work a double tonight at the hospital and… it was so dead my supervisor sent me home so—‘ her gaze locked on her mug, before her chest grew tight and a lump grew in her throat.

Tears filled her eyes once again as she looked up at the ceiling, her voice cracking as she took a deep breath, ‘I found Matt in bed with another bitch.’ She then let out a humorless laugh.

‘What?! Jesus Christ Amarilla I’m—‘

‘It’s fine… I — I should’ve seen the signs I should’ve —‘

‘Whoa, whoa now, Amarilla. You’re not to blame for this.’ He sat up straight watching as she reached over and grabbed her tea. ‘What did he say?’

Amarilla laughed once more, ‘Oh, she’s just a friend and… that he’d been unhappy with me for a while and… he wants a divorce.’ She wiped her eyes and looked over at him, ‘Can you believe it? 15 years all for nothing just…’ she shook her head before looking down at her twiddling fingers.

‘Jesus— I’m sorry to hear that. What kind of man cheats on his wife like that? Best friend or not, he’s sick for that. Unbelievable.’ He said shaking his head.

‘Honestly, Walter… I’ve been unhappy for a bit too. Just I was hoping we could get through that rough patch y’know? Doing it for Maylin but— in the end I looked dumb.’

Walter sighed, ‘You’re not dumb. He’s just a dick and obviously not the perfect guy for you… unfortunately it took 15 years and for this to happen but..’

‘How would you know who’s the perfect guy for me?’ She said softly looking over at him.

‘Uh..’ he swallowed his spit and looked to the side. ‘I mean I — you’re gorgeous and funny and smart… easy going. To be honest, Matt and I known one another for years and never for a single second did I think he was good enough for you.’

Amarilla was a little taken back by his confession, but a hesitant smile curled on her lips, ‘re-really? You really think so?’ Her brown eyes glared over at him.

‘Of course… actually, I know so.’ He scoffed before taking a sip of his tea.

The woman sat there, staring at him — holding her warm mug tightly in her hands.

She’d be a fucking liar if she sat here and said she never thought of him that way. Hell, when he would come by the house, she would unknowingly cater to him as if he was her husband and not Matt. She didn’t know it then, but she wanted that man.

‘Well, thank you.’ She said softly before the air around grew thick with sexual tension.

This is a bad idea, Amarilla… it’s best that you just leave now. Staying any longer would make it harder to leave.

She leaned over and placed the half full mug down on the coaster. ‘Well, the Maylin is still at the house. And I’m pretty sure he hadn’t even checked on her after our argument so,’ she stood up and picked up her coat.

‘Wait, you’re leaving already?!’ Walter stood up.

‘Yeah, I— Maylin…’

‘I hope you’re not leaving because I said all of those things… look, I’m sorry. I got too comfortable and that was inappropriate— especially with what happened with Matt. But you’re in no condition to go back there right now. What if the other woman is still there?’

She looked up at him as she adjusted her coat over her shoulders, ‘No… it’s not that at all — I just…’

‘Stay… look I’ll take the day off tomorrow, you can go get Maylin and we’ll just— kick it…’

Amarilla stared up at him with slightly swollen pink eyes, ‘Word? You’d do that for real?’

‘Yeah… you need me. And I want to be here for you.’

Good lord, those words struck her in her chest. Now she felt like she was anchored to the floor.

She wiped her nose and sniffed, ‘al-alright. Cool… I’m feeling a bit tired anyway. Which room will I be in?’

Walter was shrouded with relief when she agreed to stay for the night. ‘Great!’ He paused for a second, processing her question in his brain for a moment before it clicked, ‘Well, you can sleep in my room. I take a couch? Sheets and comforter should be fine. I don’t sleep in there much. C’mon ill walk you there.’

Amarilla followed him down the hall towards the larger bedroom. It was bland. Just like all the other spaces in the house… no life. Her slightly swollen eyes studied the space for a second before they landed on the large bed.

‘You don’t have pictures or decor put up but you made sure to purchase this big ass bed.’ She snickered as she walked around it, her fingers gently grazing the comforter.

He chuckled, placing his hand on the threshold of the door, leaning slightly, ‘what can I say? I’m a big guy.’

Indeed he was.

The room grew quiet for a moment before he stood up straight, ‘well, I’m gonna give you some space. Just shout if ya need me.’ Then he turned to walk away.

‘Walter?’

He turned around, ‘yes?’

‘Thank you for this.’

He gave her a tired smile and nodded, ‘Of course.’ And he turned away once again, walking back into the living room.

Hours had passed…

It was 2:27am…

She was laying in that bed, staring up at that ceiling. She swore she was tired just a few hours ago and now — she was wide awake. She wondered if he was still awake.

Amarilla sat up, and climbed out of bed. She was dressed in a large t-shirt that she’d stolen from out of his dresser. It fit like a short dress on her, the hem stopping at her upper thigh.

She pushed her hair out of her face as she skidded across the wooden floor with her thick warm socks. Once she made it to the living room… he was sitting there on his laptop… wide awake.

‘Hey… you’re still awake.’ She said softly but it was so quiet, her voice could be heard over the storm outside.

Walter looked up from his computer, balling up his fist. Goddamn! His wandering eyes roamed her body. Her semi-hard nipples showing through the gray t-shirt, her smooth thick thighs. He wanted to bite them so bad.

‘Ye-yeah…’ he swallowed his spit, ‘I don’t sleep much!’ He felt like he was struggling to breathe just then. And as she approached him and sat very close to him.

‘You’re warm… I’m very cold. What do you keep the A/C on in here?!’ She brought her knees up to her chest.

‘It’s not on.. it’s probably just the rain and the weather…’

‘True.’ She said nodding her head before it grew quiet between them once again. Her head then fell on his shoulder and her right thigh draped over his.

‘You’re like this big ole, warm bear.’ She said goofing about.

Walter’s heart began to race in his chest as a hesitant chuckle left his lips. Swallowing his spit quietly, ‘Wouldn’t be the first time someone called me that.’

Amarilla smirked as she found herself staring at him a little bit longer than usual. Damn, he was fine. She always tried to look at him as her husband’s buddy. But he’s always been fine as hell.

Her brown eyes dropped to his lips that were thickly adorned by his facial hair.

Walter was trying his best not to look at her but he felt the way she was looking at him. With his job, it was easy for him to read people simply by checking energies. Going with his gut and soul is truly what helped him solve cases.

But this was much different from an average homicidal case.

The woman he’s be dying to fuck was sitting closely beside him, who just so happened to be his best buddy’s wife.

‘Walt,’ She said out softly before biting down into her plump lip.

‘Hmm?’

It grew quiet once again. But this time it was as if she was trying to figure out what she wanted to say in this tender moment. ‘Would- would it be wrong if I said that the reason why I came by the precinct to see you the other day wasn’t because of some stupid reminder of that damn Memorial Day barbecue?’

He’d finally looked over at her with his thick eyebrows tugging into one, ‘Yeah?’

Letting out a slightly amused laugh, she looked over at him now. Her dark honey orbs glared into those of swimming pools, ‘Yeah. It was because…’ she trailed off, glancing to the side as she debated with herself; wondering if this was going to be a good idea.

Who cares, Amarilla? Matt didn’t spare your feelings. Why the fuck should you care about sleeping with his best friend?

Walter closed his laptop and placed it on the table top. He then rest one of his large palms around her ankle with the other on her knee, ‘You can tell me. What’s on your mind?’

Amarilla let out a shuddered sigh and looked back up at him, ‘I volunteered to come because I wanted to see you. I’ve just been thinking about you more than usual,’ She said with her head falling to the side.

Walter’s eyebrows rose for a moment, ‘Really?’ He could feel his heart race much faster than before. ‘Why were you thinking about me?’ He snickered as his head fell forward, trying to hide that bright pink blush on his face.

Tell him what you want him to do to you.

‘Well,’ She paused for a second before grabbing his bearded jaw to lift his gaze towards hers, ‘Could I– show you instead?’

Walter’s eyes fell to her full delicious lips. Without saying or doing, his eyes gave her full consent.

Without releasing her grip, Amarilla leaned over with her lips gaped, greeting his. Their lips met with the taste of desire, longing and need. It was gentle, as if they were both testing the waters.

He’d gently pulled away, licking his bottom lips to taste her, ‘This is what’s been on your mind?’ His large hand had traveled from her knee to her thigh.

A slow deviant smile curled on her lips, ‘Amongst other things? Yes.’ Her hand trailed down to his broad chest and then towards his middle.

‘Good, ‘cause I’ve been wanting you since I’ve met you.’

Probably was a fucked up thing to say since Matt introduced them to one another when Walter was married.

‘Then,’ her eyes fell back to his lap where her fingers began to undo his belt and zipper. ‘I only have one request.’ Then she stood up before him with his fly open.

Walter glared up at her with curious eyes; arm tucked comfortably behind the sofa. He had a pretty good idea of what she wanted.

Amarilla reached at the hem of the oversized shirt and tugged it up and over her head. She tossed it on the sofa next to him: revealing her globes for breasts, tattoos that she kept well hidden, and pretty tiger stripes for stretch marks.

He swallowed hard as his eyes wandered over her shapely body.

If he wasn’t hard before, he was sure to cut through stone now.

He clenched his jaw as he felt the familiar bliss of numbness shroud his body. Lust.

Damn, that’s what she’s been hiding under those scrubs. Fuck.

Amarilla then straddled his lap, pushing his thick hair out of his face, ‘I want you, Mr. Marshall.’ She whispered as she began to grind her hips.

Walter hissed at the feeling of her hips creating that sweet friction over his hardened manhood, ‘Mmm.’

She grabbed his cotton shirt and pulled it off of his head. Then, she finally rushed in with a hungry kiss.

Their tongues danced with one another in a beautiful swan dance. Just following one another’s league. Her fingers intertwined in his thick curls as Walter’s large hands began to caress down her back.

Finally, his hands met her rounded ass; squeezing to make sure he wasn’t living in another daydream again.

Fuck, you really are real.

Amarilla kept grinding her hips as she broke the kiss. She trailed kisses from his lips to his neck where she began to suck softly.

Walter let out a grunt when she licked and sucked on that sensitive spot on his neck. He couldn’t take this teasing any longer. He finally pulled her thong to the side as she managed to pull his pants and briefs down far enough.

‘Aah, I want you so bad right now.’ She moaned softly; causing a shiver to slither down his spine.

A part of him felt bad that he was about to screw his best friend’s wife. But they were getting a divorce and he was going to get what the fuck he’s been wanting all these years.

‘I want you too, baby.’ He whispered as he looked up; watching her lift her hips and grab ahold of his member.

She rubbed his tip against her clit and over her inviting slit. ‘Damn, you’re even bigger than he is!’ She giggled softly.

Walter let out a gentle chuckle as he watched her slowly lower her hips on him, bringing his colossal member in a warm and velvety hug. He let out a breath as he rested his hand on her hips.

‘Mmmm, fuck.’ She moaned out as she pushed him as far as he could go. Once he was balls deep, she looked down at him with dark hooded eyes, ‘Don’t be so gentle baby.’

Amarilla rested her hands on the sofa as she began to slowly lift and drop her hips. He was so fucking big, she had to be gentle or she was to be torn apart.

‘Ooh, shit girl. Damn.’ Walter groaned as his head fell back in sheer bliss. He was lost in a world of pure ecstasy. His palms swept across her flesh in mystery. He just wanted to learn her body so he could be the one to give her what she deserves.

After Amarilla found it easier to bounce and she was stretched out in the most delightful way, she began to pick up her pace; lifting her hips up and dropping them a bit faster than before. ‘Uh! Uh! Ooh yes! Damn, you’re so fucking huge!’ She whined out inaudibly as she looked back over her shoulder, watching her jiggly ass bounce in his grasp.

A salacious grin curled on his lips as he felt her throbbing walls began to constrict, and her moans became louder. ‘Yeah? You’re gonna cum on that dick baby?’ He asked looking up at her before bringing her hardened nipple between his teeth to bite gently, and then suck.

‘Uggggh! Fuck!’

Walter began to bounce her ass for her, and since he was slightly slouched, he was able to thrust upward as well. With the friction they were creating, she was about to blow at any moment. ‘Come on baby! Cum for me!’ He called out as he landed 3 consecutive slaps upon her ass.

‘Aaah! Fuuuuuck! Walt, uuuuughhh my fucking God! Yeeees!’

‘Uh huh! Cum on baby! I know you want to! Stop fighting that nut!’ He argued at her before slapping her ass once again and gripping her thong.

‘Yesyesyesyesyesyes!—‘ her lower tummy twisted as her womb betrayed the rest of her body. But it felt so damn good, ‘YES!’ She quickly lifted her hips up, her poor blossom too sensitive for anymore for the moment. ‘Fuuuuck.’ She moaned before she forced her tongue into his mouth.

Walter rubbed on her plump ass once more before giving her thigh a slap; breaking their kiss, ‘Get Up. I’m not through with you yet.’

‘Uh oh.’ Amarilla cooed in a teasing tone as she carefully climbed off of his lap and stood up. She pushed down her panties to her knees and shimmed them down her legs before stepping out of them.

This beast of a man stood up and his pants and boxers fell before stepping out of them as well. He then took a moment to admire her body once more, a smirk grew on his lips as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him in a hurry.

She was instantly met with his torso firmly, she giggled softly as she looked up at him.

‘You’re so fucking cute y’know?’ He teased.

‘Am I? Or are you just tryna fuck the shit out of me?’ Amarilla asked as she raised her eyebrow.

‘Both.’

The both of them chuckled before he placed a tender kiss on her lips and landed a smack on her ass again. ‘Go head,’ he said when he broke the kiss, ‘Bend over the arm of the sofa.’

Amarilla smirked, turning slowly on her toes before looking back at him with those sultry eyes.

She bent over the arm as he made his way behind her before lifting her leg up to rest her knee on the arm as well. A hum rumbled in his throat as she looked back at him while he just admired her in this angle.

Walter stroked his dick before pressing the tip against her slit once again and shoved his hips into her.

‘UGH!’ She exclaimed, her fingertips gripping at the fabric of the sofa. ‘Fuck, I don’t think I could ever get use to that!’ She whimpered out as he grabbed her arm and held on to her hip for stability.

Walter hissed as he began to drop his hips into her, ‘Shiiiit.’ He moaned, ‘Fuck you feel so fucking good.’

Amarilla’s breathing was short but labored. She looked back at him as he began to take her from behind. He held on to her tightly; looking into her pretty brown hues as he began to ram his hips into her much harder and faster.

Her moans had become louder; harsher, ‘Oh! Oh! Ooooooh fuck meeee! Just like that! Please don’t don’t fucking stop! Aah!’ She could feel her walls tightening around his massive member again. Just claiming all the space she offered him.

Walter grunted as he dug his fingers into her a little tighter. He finally let go of her arm and landed a few hard slaps on her ass cheeks.

Amarilla squeaked at the sudden sting that just made her body all the more tingle. ‘Goddamn! This is mine. Whose is it baby? Tell me who this pretty pussy belongs to?!’

His voice was sinister, dark and lewd. But the butterfly wings that beat viciously in her lower abdomen made her cave in. ‘Ooooh, this pussy is all yours baby.’

‘Huh,’ he smacked her ass harder before plunging his hips faster, ‘I can’t hear you baby, you're gonna have to speak up!’ He taunted with a grin spread across his lips.

‘FUCK! AUGH! IT’S YOURS!’

‘That’s my girl!’ He grunted as he brought his hips to a pause again, ‘Now fuck me back.’

Without question or hesitation, Amarilla began to bounce that pretty ass of hers back against him; twerking and shaking it in the process.

And animalistic growl rumbled in Walter’s throat as he watched her appetizing nectar coat him all the way to the hilt. ‘Damn you take me so well baby.’ He groaned.

His words enraptured her! Causing her to bounce even harder with a delighted grin on her face. But that was short lived when Walter took his control back.

Orgasms after orgasms, poor Amarilla started to lose count!

The moments spent wrapped up in Walter’s embrace felt like a blissful eternity. He took her places that she hadn’t been in years or… ever really. Hitting all the right spots and praising her all the same; she felt like she could truly conquer the world.

But that time wasn’t on their side because now Walter was edging closer to his release. ‘Uhhhhhh fuck,’ he had her wrapped up his arms at this point. One arm around her waist and the other around her chest as his hand squeezed her breast. He was spiraling. And she could feel it too.

‘Come on, baby! You’re almost there!’ Amarilla said wickedly; feeling this thickness stretch her walls with each delicious throb.

Walter’s face was buried in her neck, eyebrows tugged into one and his teeth gritted together. Him inhaling her scent just confirmed that all of this was truly real. His thrusts became short and his breathing became shallow. ‘Ahhh! Fuck, baby I’m about to cum!’

‘You’re gonna cum baby?!’

‘I’m gonna cum!’

Amarilla quickly pulled her body away, got on her knees before him; opening that pretty mouth of hers and sticking her tongue out.

Walter held himself before stroking his cock and squirting his load over the bed of her tongue. ‘Grrrrrrrraahhh— fuuuuck!’ His knees buckled and twitched as she swallowed all of his milky goodness, wrapping her full lips around his tip and sucking the rest of his cum out of him. ‘Ooooh— shiiiit.’ He grunted, pushing her hair out of her pretty face.

She was smiling like a kid in a candy store.

‘Do you feel better now, princess?’ He asked before wiping a drop of cum off of her lips with his thumb, and placing it on her tongue. Then he held his large hand out to her.

Carefully placing her hand in his, she stood up and sighed, ‘So much better.’ She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a litter of kisses on his lips.

Then, he looked down at her with a smirk before scooping her up into his arms. She giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist. ‘Where are we going now?’

‘The bedroom. There’s still a lot to be done before we go get Maylin tomorrow. And you are the only thing on the to-do list.’

Amarilla laughed out, her head falling back, ‘Boy, you’re so stupid!’

[avgeriss]

Everything I hate about tlou2 :)

SPOILERS! (I’ve tagged the post but just in case the tag doesn’t work)

I wasted 20 hours on this bullshit, so now it’s time for me to talk about everything I hate about it. This is going to be a very long and very messy post.

Not in chronological order, or in order of how much I hate the particular moment/thing.

Also, I think I should just state, these are all my personal opinions, please don’t attack me over them

 1. the transphobia (I don’t care about the plot, I’m so fucking mad that Lev was deadnamed so. Many. Times)

2. the homophobia (I can’t believe this piece of shit actually called Ellie and Dina the d slur...)

3. the racist writing

4. the sexist writing

5. the fact that ALL the trailers where fucking lies

6. and they were lies because ND knew everyone was going to hate it, but they needed people to think it was good so the fans would buy it

7. the fact that they knew people would be upset with part two but went with in anyways

8. Ellie being forced to listen to Seth apologies for being a homophobic piece of shit

9. Joel dying

10. Jesse dying

11. (the /way/ Joel and Jesse died)

12. Tommy becoming a selfish fucking asshole at the end

13. Tommy and Mariah breaking up

14. the fact that Ellie and Dina didn’t even stay together? They fucking broke up at the end, what the fuck (can that be considered queerbaiting?)

15. ND trying to make us sympathies with Abby after she violently tortures and kills Joel

16. And they try to make us sympathies with her by making her grow attached to a child, just like Joel did with Ellie. It just makes her a fucking hypocrite

17. That fact that ND even thought they could get us to sympathize with Joel’s killer after we grew attached to Joel through the first game

18. That fucking sex scene oh my goodness (which includes a man cheating on his pregnant gf, yikes)

19. Joel dying AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FUCKING GAME

20. How most of the fucking game we end up playing as Abby

21. The fact that Joel and Ellie don’t even fully make up before Joel was killed IN FRONT OF ELLIE

22. That fact that the actual scene of Ellie finding out Joel lied to her was so short

23. Mariah being a bitch. They made Mariah a fucking bitch in the second game. Even more so then she was in the first game (I understand her concerns in the first game, and at the beginning of the second game, but holy shit dude)

24. We never found out what happened to Cat. She seems to be so important, but we only know about her from Ellies diary. Is she even still alive?

25. No closure for anyone. No, Ellie did not receive closure (Ellie especially didn’t receive closure)

26. The fact that Yara died (and the way she died. I had to look away)

27. the plot is horrible, as I’ve mentioned, but it’s also just a fucking mess

28. Neil trying to make us feel bad for wanting revenge on bad people? What the hell

29. Neil thinking his game was so fucking edgy and cool, when in reality it was just torture porn

30. And once again, the people who suffered this torture where: poc, women, trans and lesbian characters

31. How they built up Joel and Ellies relationship in the first game then fucking tore it down so horribly

32. The fact that ND is one hundred percent going to try and hide behind how ‘diverse’ their game is when rightfully angry fans complain

33. The fights scene where very underwhelming compared to the trailers. might just be who I watched though

34. Holy shit. The fact that Ellie didn’t even end up killing Abby, after ALL SHE WENT THROUGH! She killed all those people to get to Abby and then didn’t even end up killing her

35. I know ND isn’t about giving players choices that may affect the game dramatically, but the fact that we couldn’t even have chosen to stay with Dina?

36. That Neil’s self insert oc fucking spitting on Joel’s mangled dead body,,,, that just shows how much respect Neil has for Joel as a character.

37. I know I’ve talked about it already, but they fucked up with Joel and Ellies relationship So Fucking Bad

38. Ya’ll wanna know how mad this game made me? Towards to end, when I thought they had killed Tommy, I got so fucking mad, that my emotions just. Shut off. I was /literally/ so mad, that I couldn’t even feel how mad I was. I ended up skipping pretty much to the end fight with Abby and Ellie, which I also ended up skipping half of it anyway. How bad do you have to fuck up to make someone feel like that? That’s not easy, my dude.

39. Not one character death made me think ‘wow, that was a good death, what a way to send of this character.’ It was literally all for shock value

40. Ellie ending up alone, after she states, not once, BUT TWICE in the first game, that that’s something she doesn’t want to happen. She tells Sam that’s her biggest fear, and then tells Joel everyone she loved has died or left. That was such a big thing in the first game and ND just shit on that

41. This one is just me being a little sensitive, but ND put Ellie in her own little house, as apposed to her living with Joel. One of the most important people in her life, even after he lied to her. I might be able to understand her moving out after Joel told her the truth, but not as soon as they get to Jackson. That doesn’t fit her character At All

42. Basically, I think they just fucked up with the characters and their relationships. like don’t get me wrong, I adore Dina/Ellie, but their whole dynamic…. I just can’t place it (mainly their relationship at the beginning, it gets better towards the end, until the real end)

43. Also I feel like the only real mourning any character did was Ellie mourning Joel, and even that was done badly. I felt as though she moved on too fast, she only really started experiencing ptsd with that traumatic scene towards the end of the game. I also feel like Jesse wasn’t really mourned properly

[thatringboy]

Hey there!

Saw ur post bout wanting requests and I'm happy to oblige. Percabeth is my absolute OTP and so I would love to read some fics based on them, esp when you write them soo well🥺

1.I've always wanted to read a fic where Annabeth spoons Percy! I think that wud be so cute.

2.Or would love to see a fic where one of them cant sleep at night so they go do smtg spontaneous, like stargazing or roadtrip or trip to McDonald's hehe.

3.A prompt (if that's how you take requests): "Did you just kiss my Achilles Spot?"

omfgggggg the amount of fluff i shoved into this is almost puke level. but percabeth will never get to that level. anyways i decided to do all three prompts because i couldn't pick one. enjoy!

Stargazing in Grey

Warnings: Rachel Elizabeth Dare being a little shit, but we love her anyways (so in other words, none)

Characters: Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Rachel Elizabeth Dare (but only for like two lines at the very end)

Ships: Percabeth

Word Count: 1,405

Summary: Percabeth sneaks out of their cabins to go stargazing and realize (again) how much they love each other. Takes place between the end of HOO and the beginning of TOA

“You know… we could have just taken some Melatonin or something.” Percy made a confused face.

Annabeth rolled her eyes despite knowing that he probably couldn’t see her do that in the dark. “And where’s the fun in that?”

“Who are you and what have you done to my rule-following Wise Girl?” His smile was audible in his voice.

She elbowed him in the stomach and fell back onto the grass of Camp Half-Blood hill, her grey eyes searching the night sky. Constellations danced across her gaze and a smile curled over her lips. Percy’s eyes adjusted to the night enough for him to be able to see her features illuminated by the moonlight.

Gods, she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.

“What was that?” Annabeth sat up.

Percy realized he had whispered his thoughts out loud and plopped himself down in the grass next to her. “Nothing! So tell me, Wise Girl,” he pointed up at the stars. “Which one is that constellation?”

She laid back down and followed his finger to where he was pointing. “Oh, that’s just Heracles.”

Percy made a gagging sound. “Oh gods not that guy!”

That was the game they played: Percy pointed out a constellation, Annabeth identified it and they repeated. Percy told stupid jokes just to hear Annabeth’s laughter and he felt like he was walking on air everytime he heard it.

This was his Wise Girl, he realized. Starting from “you drool when you sleep” all those years ago and now sneaking out of their cabins at night to watch the stars when the nightmares became too much. Everything else in his life was fleeting and frankly at the mercy of ungrateful gods, but Annabeth was his constant. She was his tie to mortality when he dipped in the River Styx, she was the one thing he remembered when Hera stole his memories and sent him west and she was the one who held his hand in Tartarus when the world quite literally swallowed him up. And now that they had survived two Great Prophecies and were finishing up the summer in Long Island before heading to New Rome, the realization of how much Annabeth completed him struck Percy in the heart. She was the one who kept him humane when he wanted to unleash his destructive powers, she was the one who treated his wounds when he hurt himself against monsters and she was the one who curled up and cuddled him when the whole world was against them.

How in Hades was he so lucky to have fallen for her and for her to have fallen right back - quite literally in their case.

When they had finished their game, Percy found himself staring at her once more. He could examine her face for years and still find new things to fascinate himself with. If he was given Pandora’s box and told that the Hope at the bottom was Annabeth, he’d rip the lid off in a heartbeat and slay all of the monsters that jumped out with her.

She yawned, pulling Percy back into reality, and stretched her arms. “We should probably head back before Malcolm wakes up and flips on us.”

Percy pouted like a child and turned over in the grass to face away from her. “No! This was your idea and I wanna stay!”

Annabeth sighed and scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his back. “You’re such a child, no wonder you live with your mother at eighteen.”

He wiggled a bit so that he could turn his head to glare at her. “I’ll have you know that I missed half of being sixteen and half of being seventeen!”

She squeezed the skin of his stomach to shut him up and the two laid there spooning in the grass for a bit. Annabeth could feel his heartbeat and the way his lungs expanded when he breathed and sighed at the realness of it all. For six months, she was without him. After years of fighting by his side, he had just vanished and both of them were pulled into another Olympus-Destroying calamity that they had to fix. She had found herself cursing out the gods during that time, begging to know why did it always have to be her family that got messed over by the gods? For once, couldn’t someone else take up the mantle? Thalia had died then joined the Hunt, Luke was… well, Luke and all of the other campers moved on and away as time passed if they weren’t killed by monsters. Percy was the only constant she had and Hera had taken him away. Her Percy, the one who held up the sky for her. Her Percy, the one who fell into Tartarus for her. Her Percy, the one who held her tight when a curse had taken her vision and promised to never leave her. Her Percy, the one who turned down immortality for her. Annabeth hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss to his back. She was never letting go of him again.

"Did you just kiss my Achilles Spot?" He turned his head to look at her again.

She pulled her head back and blinked. It must have happened subconsciously while she was reminiscing about the past. “I guess I did, sorry.”

He rested his head on the ground again. “No no it’s fine, I just haven’t had anyone touch there in a while. I guess I’ve always protected it from people, even after the curse is gone.”

And that was another thing. His only weakness, the small of his back, he exposed it joyfully to her. He took his life and placed it into her hands because there was no one else in the entire world who Percy Jackson trusted more than Annabeth Chase.

She untangled herself and sat up. “But seriously, we should get back before the harpies start their pre-dawn rounds. Washing dishes in lava again does not sound like fun.”

He sat up with her and brushed a stray piece of grass off of her cheek with a wide smile. There was still a tiny sliver of grey hair from when they were younger and took turns holding up the sky. “Yeah… you’re right.”

“When am I not?” She leaned into his touch.

Inches, centimeters, touching. The only thought in Percy’s mind was how soft Annabeth’s lips felt against his own and how much she smelled like fresh ink on sunwarmed paper. Was that a scent? It was now. His calloused hands caressed her face like if he let go, she would crumble into sand between his fingertips and she eagerly gripped his shirt right back. For either the third or fourth time that evening, the whole world seemed to melt away. Two heartbeats became one, two souls linked together and two bodies pressed together in such a loving embrace that even Aphrodite herself would have turned away with a blush.

They came crashing back to the real world when the sound of a camera clicked behind them. The two jerked their heads to the sound to see a familiar redhead holding up a camera.

“Rachel Elizabeth Dare!” Annabeth's voice came out as a harsh whisper.

The Oracle of Delphi cackled as she turned heel and ran down the hill towards her cave. Annabeth moved to chase after her, but Percy grabbed her wrist, covering his mouth with his free hand to keep from laughing. “Let’s just get back to our cabins before she goes leaking that to Lou Ellen and Piper.”

The daughter of Athena couldn’t argue with that. They gathered themselves and made the trek back to the Athena cabin. They stood outside the door, not wanting the moment to end, but also understanding that they both needed sleep. Annabeth moved closer and pecked Percy one last time on the lips before heading inside.

Percy made the walk back to the Poseidon cabin with a goofy smile on his face and was humming a tune who’s name he couldn’t remember. His Wise Girl had broken the rules and was ready to fistfight the Oracle of Delphi to keep it a secret. He was so proud of his negative influence on her. He silently made a vow to get that picture from Rachel to hang up in his room in New Rome. It would brighten up his dorm tremendously.

[capaimagines]

jackson wang - forever yours

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader | Genre: angst | Warnings: none | WC: 2.0k

part two

“You look gorgeous in that dress,” Jackson smiled, leaning in and kissing your temple.  You looked up at him with a huge smile on your face, eyes full of nothing but love an adoration for the man in front of you, “Be my girlfriend?”  He asked with a giggle to which you had immediately nodded your head, leaning up to place a kiss to his lips. It had been months since you wanted to hear that question and you finally heard it.

Sure, it was going to be rough, most relationships were. You were both constantly busy; you were coming to the end of your master’s degree as well as working part time, it took a lot of energy from you. As for Jackson, he was an idol and managed his own company. It was going to be difficult but the both of you were so determined to make it work, not matter what.

Until it no longer worked.

Roughly two years after the two of you started dating did the late nights start. You were always pulling all nighters to work on projects and your long thesis. Jackson on the other hand was always either at the studio preparing for their next album, filming variety shows or even promoting overseas. Due to the late nights, he’d just stay at the dorms with the guys, not wanting to wake you up at odd hours of the night and sometimes it was just more convenient. 

You were working part time at a little café by night and a diligent student during the day.  On top of finishing your thesis and searching for internships, there wasn’t much time you had to spare in your day for yourself, let alone Jackson. With his frequent trips back and forth to China and overseas to promote his brand, there was little time he could spare for himself, let alone you.

At first you brushed it aside, wanting to fight hard to make this work for the both of you. You had ignored it at first, both of you still making it work the best you could.  You knew what you were signing up for when you said yes to being his girlfriend two years ago.  You knew he was going to have times where he was unbelievably busy, times when he would be too tired to drive back to your shared apartment and crash at the dorm. Though you always had that hope deep inside.

Jackson also knew that you were going to have a busy schedule with college and work. You wanted to finish school, get your degree, find a job in your field. You were always adamant, you never once expected Jackson to pay for everything. This was for you to deal with. Even though he would have no problem in helping you out financially, he knew this was your dream. That you liked the feeling of being independent and he didn’t want to take that away from you.

At first, it was rough, the two of you were practically attached at the hip. Always together and when times got busy there were plenty of late-night phone calls, messages, and facetime calls. Just the fact that you were able to talk to one another and see each other, even if it was over a phone screen, was enough for you two. Both of you loved each other so much; so determined to make this work. Until it wasn’t anymore.

Eventually, Jackson became busier and busier. The late-night phone calls stopped or only lasted several minutes, until they almost stopped altogether. Lengthy messages or even ones reminding you how much he loved you and missed you turned into one-worded messages. I love you was barely said anymore, even though you both felt it. You couldn’t place all the blame on him, you also were at fault. 

In your last semester of school, it was crunch time. You had been picking up extra shifts too in order to save up some extra money until you found your internship. With the late hours of working on your thesis, answering the phone didn’t happen all the time anymore. Usually you would tell him that you were busy and would call him back. The first few times, you would call him back. Until it started getting later and later and eventually, you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop and it completely left your mind.

This wasn’t working, for either of you. As much as it pained you, as much as you felt your heart breaking every time you thought of it, you knew it needed to happen. Deep down, Jackson knew too. Despite how much the two of you loved each other, it was an idea neither of you wanted to fathom. An idea that neither of you ever thought would become a reality. Not for you two.

“We need to talk,” You said, biting your bottom lip to keep your voice from trembling.  

Jackson sighed, walking in and closing the door. He walked up to hug you to which you couldn’t help but squeeze him back. It had been months since you’d last seen each other in person. Months since you felt him against you. Months since you were able to run your fingers through his hair, kiss his lips, hold his hand. Months since you last smelled him.

“I know,” He said sadly, kissing the top of your head. He held your hand and pulled you towards the couch, sitting down and interlocking both of your hands together tightly.  You both knew what was coming, what needed to be done. Though, saying the words out loud made both of your hearts shatter into a million pieces because neither of you really wanted this, you thought you could do it.

“Jackson, I-,” You had to stop yourself as the tears were already piling up and threatening to fall.

He squeezed your hand tightly, the words becoming harder to say out loud. Deep down neither of you wanted to stop. You truly adored each other and envisioned your futures together in creating a family, watching your children run around the yard and take in who had who’s features. To see you walking down the aisle with your beautiful smile as well as your body hugging a beautiful, expensive white dress. You dreamed of spending the rest of your lives by each other's side. You both wanted that more than anything at one point. You both had things you were still reaching for, both still had dreams you wanted to achieve before all of that.

“Y/N, I-I love you,” He stuttered out as you held your breath.  

You felt stupid for not being able to say the words. That you were about to let the man you love, the man you pictured spending the rest of your days with until you were both old with gray hair and chasing each other around in wheelchairs, speak the godforsaken words that were about to shatter both of your worlds. You couldn’t even bring yourself to spare him that.

“This isn’t working, Jackson,” You breathed out.  

You don’t know what came over you. You couldn’t allow him to hurt more than he was already hurting. While you knew he was breaking, his face in front of you contorted into what looked like actual physical pain, you couldn’t allow him to speak those words because it would break him entirely.  

“Jackson, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll still love you, but we can’t do this anymore, baby. We both know it’s not working. It’s hurting us more being together.  Hurting us more that we are dying to be with each other but we can’t.”

You took a deep breath, doing your best to keep your voice steady, “I fully support you and I knew what I was signing up for when I said yes, but this,” You gestured between the two of you, “This isn’t how our relationship should be. We both have so many things going on, Jackson. We have so many dreams, goals and aspirations,” You closed your eyes, taking another deep breath before speaking, “We need to break up.”

You opened your eyes and let the tears fall the second you looked into his eyes. Silent tears were already streaming down his. You could literally feel the pain he was feeling in his chest. As if on instinct, you clutched your hands to your chest, feeling a dull ache building, Jackson doing the same.  

“You’re my biggest dream, Y/N. We can try again, we can make this work,” He pleaded.

You sniffled, cupping his cheek with one of your hands. Oh, how you wish it could work.  That you two could make this work. You weren’t in any position to be traveling the world with him yet and you were not about to ask him to give up everything he had worked so hard for, for years before he met you, to stay with you. You would not take his dreams away.  

“You’re mine too, baby, but right now, it’s just not right. We need to accomplish everything we want first.” He let out a strangled sob and you felt your heart shatter even more, if that was even possible.

“In the future?” He asked quietly, forehead pressed against yours, his hand covering the one you had on his cheek. Pressing into his skin like it was the last moments of your lives. 

You let out a choked sob, nodding your head, “The future, baby. I’m yours. Forever yours.”

It took a moment before he finally stood up, slowly making his way towards the door. You trailed behind him, wanting to wait until he left before you could break down completely. You didn’t want to hurt him more than he was already hurting.  But seeing him, the once bright, happy, positive, loud person you fell in love with, looking like nothing but a shell of that person right now. Red eyes, puffy cheeks, tears falling off his face. The way his chest heaved unevenly as he tried to keep his emotions contained. It broke you more than you could ever break. Wanting nothing more than to take him into your arms, to assure him that this could work, that you two could make it happen. You couldn’t lie to him anymore. You couldn’t lie to yourself. 

Jackson knew that. While he wanted nothing more than to just pick you up and run away, somewhere far away where none of this could affect either of you. Where it could just be you and him in a nice house and living out the rest of your days together. He was smart; he knew that couldn’t happen right now. As much as he wanted that, as much as his heart and his head were screaming for that, he loved his work. He loved his job and he wasn’t ready to give all that up yet.

He flinched as you wrapped your arms around him, taking in shaky breaths and burying your face into his chest. His arms automatically came around you, pulling you even closer. If only you two could mold together right now. Be one with each other.  

“Kiss me, Y/N,” He said as he tilted your chin up gently.  

You did just that, your chapped and tear stained lips meeting his. While you both could taste the saltiness of the tears, the love and passion in that kiss was enough to tell you both that this was it. This was the end.

No more late-night phone calls. No more morning sex or cuddling. No more spontaneous dinner dates and movie nights. No more surprising him at work or him surprising you by coming home early. It was truly going to end now as he walked out the door. 

He turned to face you, face scrunched up in pain, hurt, and love, “I’ll always love you, Y/N. Always.”  

You let out a whimper, kissing his cheek one last time,  “I’ll always love you, Jackson. Goodbye.”

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X15

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Wow! A lot happened in this episode. It was billed as Jackson’s goodbye episode, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Meredith got discharged and was reunited with her kids, Tom decided to move to Boston to work for Jackson, and we got the show’s first Indigenous doctor and patient storyline! I honestly think Jackson’s farewell was really well done! While it’s true he could do the work he wants to do just as easily from Seattle everything else about his exit makes sense to me. He’s tired of sitting on the sidelines and he wants to make real change where he can.

I loved his conversation with Meredith and how he was the one to sneak her out. I loved Meredith's voice over for this episode and how it followed Jackson's actions and the flashback montage set to music. I thought it was fitting. I would have liked him to have said goodbye to Ben because they were the Plastics Posse until he left to become a firefighter but apart from that I was happy with it. The character has come such a long way during his run on the show and I feel like this episode reflected that.

The editing was really well done too. Especially the shot of him overlooking the lobby. That transition was seamless. I loved his goodbye scene with Meredith. It made me so emotional. I love that Meredith tried to lighten the mood by making a joke about how she won because she's the last one standing. That scene when she hugged the pillow after he left because she misses him and everyone else really got me. I also really liked the conversation he had with Bailey and Richard.

I'm glad he said a proper goodbye to Jo although I didn't find it super emotional. In addition to Ben, I would also like to have seen a goodbye with Maggie. I'm surprised they didn't do that. Maggie was so focused on Meredith's recovery that it's not clear if she even knows that Jackson is moving to Boston. They also could have done a big emotional scene with Catherine. On a lighter note, I am so happy that Meredith is doing better for real this time and has been discharged! I've been waiting for this since the mid-season point.

I loved the scene where she was reunited with her kids and Amelia was panicking about the state of the house and Meredith told her it was fine and that was just how she liked it. Meredith getting Jackson to sneak her out of the hospital felt very in character to me. As her voice over says Meredith isn't one for tradition or big hullabaloos which is why I think the others tried to keep it a secret. I'm not surprised that she ducked out early. While I get why the other characters wanted to do a big send off for her, I feel like they should know by now that's not her style.  

I loved the scene where Amelia and Link found out Meredith might be coming home, and they hugged and then Link said he had to go to work and Amelia started crying and then asked why he was still there. Link was so confused and then Amelia told him she’d be crying off and on like that all day to get her emotions out and that she’d be fine and he needed to go to work. That is so Amelia! But in a good way. Post-tumour and with her addiction under control even in a pandemic Amelia is now able to express her emotions in a healthy way so she doesn’t relapse or spin out of control. That is such huge growth for her. I loved the scene at the end with her and Meredith.

The smile that they share. The look between them. You could see early seasons Private Practice Amelia in that look but also mature and stable new Amelia. I loved that Amelia was all worried about the state of the house and Meredith was fine with it being a mess because as a working Mom she knows what it’s like and all she wanted was to be at home with her kids in her messy house.

At the end of the episode we find out that Tom’s near death experience with COVID has caused him to re-evaluate his life. He feels lucky to have lived to have been spared and he wants to help Jackson make real change in Boston. On the one hand I was surprised by Tom’s exit, but on the other hand I wasn’t. I love Tom and will truly miss his character, but ever since the affair came out and he and Teddy split and she started working on trying to repair her relationship with Owen, Tom hasn't had a lot to do.

I'm sad they didn't do more with him because he's such a great and complex character and I know some people had speculated they might pair him up with Mama Ortiz which could have been interesting. I'm sad we didn't get to see him say goodbye to Amelia, Link, Teddy, Catherine, or Meredith. Tom and Amelia are old friends, he trained her, he took out her brain tumour, and she rushed to the hospital when she heard he had been admitted for COVID-19.

Tom and Link seemed to be getting along as of late and Tom was ready to be a father to Teddy's baby before she got back together with Owen. He found her the perfect apartment and he built a crib for a child that wasn’t biologically his that he was so excited to meet and be a Dad to. All this after his own son died and his marriage collapsed as a result. He treated her like gold and she’s done nothing but treat him horribly for no reason. I don't think I’ll ever forgive Teddy for that.

Catherine and Tom are also old friends that go back even farther. She appointed him as Chief Medical Officer of the Fox Foundation. She told him about DeLuca’s death and took him to the Memorial. When Richard was sick, she told him she wanted him to take over the Foundation in her absence. Tom and Meredith had such an emotional scene earlier this season and he's been praying for her every day. Does she know that? Does Meredith know that Tom has been praying for her and worrying about her? I was expecting a follow up scene to that, so I hope we get one.

I found the patient storyline that Tom, Levi, and Indigenous intern James Chee had really moving. Grey's has never had an Indigenous patient or doctor on the show before and while the dialogue did feel heavy handed at times, they brought some really important issues to light and were trying to make up for lost time so that’s understandable.  

Robert I. Mesa who plays Dr. Chee is Navajo Soboba and the patients that they treat at Coast Salish whose traditional territory encompasses the province of British Columbia, Canada and the states of Washington and Oregon in the United States. It’s really great to see an Indigenous actor bring stories about Indigenous characters to life in a realistic way for the same reason that it’s important to see black, brown, Asian, latinx, and LGBTQ+ actors bring stories about characters like themselves to life. It brings authenticity and ensures sure that white straight cisgender people aren’t taking roles away from people within those communities.

When I found out through Twitter that the show had cast its first Indigenous doctor, I was very excited. I work for an Indigenous organization currently and so Indigenous representation is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart. The first thing that came to mind for me was the Coast Salish artwork you see in the background of so many scenes of the show. From the show’s earliest seasons, you can see beautiful art pieces in red, blue, and black depicting fish, birds, and other animals on the walls of the hospital and in people’s offices.

Yet it is never addressed or mentioned that that is Coast Salish artwork. In order for it to be there someone from the art department must have travelled to Seattle to buy some local artwork to put up around the hospital. While that’s great for making the hospital look authentic to the area by not mentioning its origins or the fact that Indigenous people exist for 16 seasons does all Indigenous people a disservice. Indigenous people are not stereotypes or tokens or simply makers of pretty pictures.

Every group has their own culture, artwork, language, and traditions. I’m glad that Grey’s Anatomy is finally acknowledging the existence of Indigenous Americans and the fact that Indigenous people exist and continue to exist despite repeated ruthless attempts to murder and assimilate them. This is a huge problem in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and other nations. While in the last few years Indigenous issues have gotten greater coverage in Canadian media there isn’t as much media coverage of Indigenous issues in the United States.

I love that Tom and Levi treated both the pregnant woman and her grandfather with respect and dignity and didn't dismiss their concerns or mock their traditions. I love that Tom actually had some knowledge of smudging ceremonies and that he referred to Dr. Chee respectfully when needed and allowed him to perform a smudging ceremony for the grandfather. When the pregnant patient’s husband thanks them and says that in the past they haven’t had great experiences in big hospitals that is unfortunately a sad reality for many.

Like other people of people and other marginalized and oppressed groups the concerns of Indigenous patients are often not taken seriously, and they often encounter racism that leads to poorer treatment and death. When the pregnant patient talks about how their centres are under resourced and that they were sent body bags instead of medical supplies that is a real thing. The Trump Administration actually did that in the States and the Harper Government here in Canada did that during the H1N1 Epidemic.

Thankfully, here in Canada the COVID-19 Pandemic response of the Trudeau Government has been worlds better. No sending of body bags and instead medical supplies and lots of relief money has been given to Indigenous organizations like mine to help real people. Indigenous Canadians have also been given priority status for vaccinations and as a result people are alive today that would have died previously. Now that’s not to say things are perfect here. There are still so many issues that need to be addressed including police violence, discrimination within the justice system, and the rate of missing and murdered Indigenous women. But at least some progress is being made.

The fact that they wrote Tom off reminded of an old adage about Grey’s Anatomy that I heard someone talking about at the start of this season which is that if there isn’t anyone significant for a character to date and you’re not an original character your days on the show are numbered. The fact that they wrote Tom off after putting Teddy and Owen back together makes me even more sure that Meredith and Hayes are going to end up together and that their relationship will be a key plot point of Season 18.

If that wasn’t the plan, I don’t think Hayes would still be there. There have been episodes this season where he has been very prominent, episodes where he’s been completely absent, and episodes like this one where he has a few short scenes. He wouldn’t still be there hanging around in the background if the plan wasn’t to set him up with Meredith. To me the only explanation that makes sense is that they are going to put Meredith and Hayes together hopefully before Season 17 ends.

Side note, I bet all of the actors who passed on being Meredith’s love interest or backed out for a movie or tv role on a newer show probably feel real dumb right now. Grey’s is about to go into its 18th season and Richard Flood who plays Hayes is getting paid mad bank whether he’s prominently in the episode or not! Plus, he slays that role. While the path they took to get here was bumpy I’m so glad that we got Hayes as a character and we’ve gotten to see his relationship with Meredith develop.

I would have loved to see more of Hayes this episode. I was expecting a scene in which he visited Meredith and I was a bit disappointed we didn’t get that. I get that the focus of the episode was on Jackson’s departure, Meredith being discharged, and Tom’s epiphany, but it would have been nice to see that. The scenes we did get were great! I love his dry sense of humour and his comments about Jo’s terrible handwriting.

My favourite moment of the episode was hands down when Hayes came to clap out Meredith with everyone else and then Perez came out and they realized that she had snuck out early and Hayes laughed and said, "Nice one Grey, Brillant!" And then he wished everyone a good night and headed out. If Meredith isn't there, he's out. He’s not even trying to hide his feelings for Meredith anymore. It’s an open secret that he likes her and is clearly smitten. Hell, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the janitors have a group chat about it.

I love that he laughed about it like it was some big cosmic joke they were both in on. He knows her so well. Everyone else was confused and her sisters were worried when they didn’t hear from her, but Hayes wasn’t worried because he knew she’d snuck out the back and that someone must have helped her. Speaking of romance, I’m guessing that next season they will bring in a new Head of Plastic Surgery for Jo to date. I feel like they will have more luck finding someone than they did when they tried to hire a new love interest for Meredith over the last few years because right now work is scarce.  

Also, in the romance department Teddy and Owen are back together. I'm happy for them, but other than that I don't really have any strong feelings about it. I am happy that they seem to be good and that the fighting and long-drawn-out drama is over. I've never been a ride or die Teddy and Owen shipper, so I don't feel an emotional rush seeing them back together. I loved Tom and Teddy together so I'm sorry that ended especially since Teddy and Owen have always been such a mess.

I think that they should have spent less time fighting and more time rebuilding their friendship before getting back together. We spent the first half of the season watching them fight non-stop and Owen made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Teddy ever again. Teddy treated Tom like crap while trying to win Owen back who clearly didn’t want her. While I’m glad they have reconciled, and the drama appears to be over I wish they had spent less time on the fighting and more time on exploring Teddy’s trauma and having them rebuild their friendship if that was the route they were going to go.

We also get more details about Maggie and Winston’s wedding this episode. I posited on Twitter a few days ago that I thought Maggie might ask both her dads Bill and Richard to walk her down the aisle as she'd want to include both of them in the ceremony. I think having Bill walk her down the aisle and Richard officiate is lovely. It reminds me of when Bailey stepped up to officiate Callie and Arizona's wedding.

I’d like to see more interactions between Meredith and Winston and Meredith and Link in the future as both men have become a part of the family largely while Meredith was sick so it would be great to see them get to know each other and bond. I really loved the scene between Winston, Link, and Owen where Winston was trying to figure out if Teddy and Owen were back together and Winston and Owen were teasing Link about the Sister House. It’s nice to see them all bond. It would be even better if they would all have more scenes with Hayes and for them to bond as well. I hope to see more of that next season.

I get why Link wants to get out of the Sister House, but I think he was a bit unrealistic about the situation. Meredith just got discharged. Amelia and Maggie aren’t going to want to leave her side until she tells them she’s ready and it’s okay for them to go and take a step back. I foresee them going with a hybrid approach next season where Maggie and Winston move to his place following the wedding and Link, Amelia, and Scout move to Link's place, but they still spend time at Meredith's house frequently. I imagine after being away from her kids for so long at some point Meredith is going to want her house back and to spend time alone with her kids.

I'm interested to see Meredith talk about her time on the beach in the upcoming episodes. Richard and Bailey were struggling to figure out how to tell her about DeLuca’s death but we the audience knew that Meredith already knew he had died. When she coded previously, and Ellis Grey passed away the first words out of her mouth were about her mother being dead. But here we see something different. When Meredith wakes up this season the first words out of her mouth are about how much she and Derek love Zola. She uses the word ‘we’ so the audience knows what she’s talking about, but the characters don’t.

It appears that at least a week has passed since the previous episode possibly two and we learn that Meredith hasn’t brought up her time on the beach or her visits from the dead to anyone. I think that she’s keeping that to herself for a few reasons. She didn’t want to leave the beach and telling that to the people who just spend the past three months trying desperately to save her life would probably come across as suicidal and upsetting. The conversations between her and Derek were personal and private, and she may not be ready to share them just yet.

Her conversations with George, Lexie, and Mark were also pretty personal so she might not be ready to talk about that either. In this episode we see her tell Bailey and Richard that DeLuca is okay because he’s with his mother. The scene cuts away, so we don’t know what else she tells them. Hopefully we’ll find out next week. My guess is that the first person she’ll talk to about the beach in the following episodes will be Hayes because he will understand her desire to stay because of how he lost his wife.

He won’t see her desire to stay on the beach as suicidal or crazy because he would probably think about doing the same thing if given the opportunity. We saw Meredith be really vulnerable with Hayes when she first got sick about her fears of dying and falling asleep. They’ve talked at length about their spouses and their past relationships in a way she hasn’t with other characters. I feel like he is the perfect person to talk to about what happened on the beach because he won’t judge Meredith or take her desire to stay personally.

They’ve already established that Hayes is a supportive and understanding person who is happy to sit there and listen to Meredith talk about her experience of dating after death and past relationships and so I think he’s someone Meredith can open to about what it was like to see Derek again, what it was like to realize her ex-boyfriend was dying, what is what like to get closure with George, and gain wisdom from Lexie and Mark. I’m hoping that will happen in next week’s episode and if not in the finale.

We saw Helm having a tough time this episode. I think Helm moving in with Levi and Jo is a good idea. I think it will give Helm the support she needs and I'm glad Levi is there for her. We haven't seen Jo and Helm interact much so far, so I'm interested to see how Jo is going to feel about her moving in. Also, where is Helm going to sleep? Jo and Levi live in a one room loft where Jo sleeps in a large bed and Levi sleeps on the couch. I would have liked to have seen more scenes along the way building up to this as Levi and Helm haven't had a scene all season and now right at the end you see him trying to help her. I also really miss Parker as a character. I wish they brought him back as well as Helm.

Something I didn’t like was that they seem to be focusing on DeLuca, his death, and his absence more than they should. I get that the writers and people behind the scenes liked the actor who played him, but the character himself was pretty widely detested by the other characters for seasons 15 and 16 so having them talk about him like he was such a great guy that everyone was super close to and that they all miss feels hollow to me and kind of annoying.

DeLuca and Meredith were not that close. They weren’t friends and rarely had a scene together prior to Season 15. They stopped talking entirely after he broke up with her in Season 16 and they weren’t friends when he died. So, talking about how he would have been so happy for her and one of the first people to cheer her on is strange. Also, I felt like Jo’s comments to Carina were out of place. I get that when someone dies its customary to say nice things about them to their family and Carina is mentoring Jo and she’s grateful for that, but DeLuca was god awful to her.

They become really good friends after Alex attacked him but then they stopped being friends when she got back together with Alex. They stopped having scenes together after that until he took an interest in Meredith at which time Jo and Alex both made it abundantly clear to his face and behind his back that they disliked him, and they hated the idea of him and Meredith together. All he did was antagonize both of them during seasons 15 and 16 for absolutely no reason and then after Alex left DeLuca walked up to Jo at the Emerald City Bar touched her without her consent and attempted to kiss her and get her to sleep with him to the point that she wound up throwing a drink in his face to get him to leave her alone.

He then told the bartender she was crazy after she told him to get some help. That’s sexual assault and attempted rape and DeLuca should have gone to jail for what he did. Instead we never see it addressed, he never apologizes, and they don’t share a single together after that. My hope is that they will finally moving on from talking about DeLuca and his absence next season. It’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point and it’s time to move on.

Onto next week’s promo! We don’t get a lot of information from this one. We see Bailey talking about how she’s losing surgeons left, right, and centre and she can’t afford to lose anymore and Meredith talking about how she can’t operate if she can’t stand on her feet. She’s worried she might never get back to operating, but this is Grey’s Anatomy so we know she will. Link talks to Amelia about wanting more children which considering that Scout is only a few months old and they couldn’t wait to get out of the house full of children just last week is a terrible idea. Link finally calls Jo on the fact that she clearly wants to adopt Luna who promptly codes! Yikes!

Until next time!

[poisonintopositivity]

(My Very Own) Top 20 Sterek Fics

Here is my very own Top 20 Sterek Fics (out of order)

For me, these fanfictions are a “MUST READ NOW!!!” kind of deal. These authors have so much talent, it’s incredible. These stories are just marvelous and deserve LOVE ! So, I decided to share them with you.

I’ve read most of these fics several times and some of them are even my bedside table books (with Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azcaban and Jane Eyre)

So here we go!

1:  Enemy Lines by @qhuinn -  150k - Explicit - Dystopia - Enemies to friends to lovers - Action/adventure

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

2:  Actions Speak Louder than Words by @isthatbloodonhisshirt - 435k - Explicit - The BEST and slowest burn there is - Spark Stiles/Mute Derek - Friends to Lovers

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.”

That was a bad word. Not found.

Have.

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment.

One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

3: Radio Tower by @hyperlittlenori - 130k - Explicit - Dystopia - Hope - Slow Burn/Build 

Everything was different. The world he knew was gone. It’d been a long time since he’d started thinking he was probably one of the last humans on earth, that out there the only sentient beings were those that would devour him whole. He wasn’t sure why he continued with the radio broadcasts, continued to talk into nothingness. The only explanation was that there was a spark of hope in him yet that he wasn’t alone. The lonely safety Stiles has built around an old radio tower in the middle of nowhere is about to be broken. Stiles isn’t sure if Derek is a harbinger of chaos or hope at the end of the world. 

4:  The Hollow Moon by @thepsychicclam - 180k - Explicit - Fix-It - Memory Loss - Slow Burn/Build

It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

5 :  Amor Fati by @alocalband  - 43k - Explicit - Consent is sexy - First Time - Fluff & Angst

When Stiles gets thrown into the bank vault about twenty minutes after him, Derek isn’t even surprised.As it turns out, neither is Stiles.

6 :  (not so) Pure Imagination by theroguesgambit - 33k - Explicit - Shared fantasies - Angst with a happy ending - hotdamn! 

"There is a world where whenever someone fantasizes about you, you can physically feel it, but you have no idea who is thinking it about you."

Stiles knows it's wrong, but he's been Fantasizing about Derek and he can't bring himself to stop. Derek doesn't know who's taken an interest in him, but he's enjoying it way more than he probably should.

7: What I Did On My Summer Vacation by grimm - 119k - Explicit - Wolf!Derek - Slow Burn/Build - Friends to Lovers

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

8:  Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by @devildoll - 77k - Explicit - Captivity - Feral!Derek - Angst with a happy ending

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

9 :  What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt - 196k - Explicit - Soulmate - Slow Burn - Misunderstandings 

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

10 :  taste your beating heart by @cinematicnomad​ - 112k - Mature - Pack Dynamics - Slow Burn/Build - Stilinski Family Feels

Something was wrong in Beacon Hills. Derek was halfway across the country when he felt a call to return to his hometown, and somehow Stiles had been talked into letting the werewolf stay in his guest bedroom. This could lead to nothing good.

11 :  between the click of the light and the start of the dream by @thepsychicclam 105k - Explicit - Pack Dynamics - Getting Togheter - Fluff & Angst

A twig snaps, and then Stiles hears breathing and the rustle of leaves. He strains to get a better glimpse into the darkness, but it’s pointless. There’s nothing but a black void.

It's Stiles' senior year, and he's trying to concentrate on normal things - like the lacrosse championship, spring break, prom, graduation (and definitely not Derek) - when he starts having nightmares and waking up in the middle of nowhere. Oh yeah, and he's being haunted by a hag. Great.

12:  And You Say You're Alone by taelynhawker - 30k - Explicit - Pack Dynamincs - Bad Friend Scott - Romance

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

13:  Trust Fall by Stoney - 144k - Explicit - Body Swap - Hurt/Confort - Slow Burn/Build

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.

****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

14:  Gravity's Got Nothing on You by @zosofi - 84k - Explicit - Fake/Pretend Boyfriends - Humor - Romance

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

15:  Every Step You Take by @nokomiss - 49k - Mature - Magic - UST - Secret Feelings

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

16:  Baking My Way Into Your Heart by theSilence - 179k - Mature - College AU/Coffee Shop AU - Slow Burn/Build - Friends to Lovers

Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.

17:  Windows by @drgrlfriend - 83k - Explicit - Blind!Stiles - Friends to Lovers - Found Families 

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

18 :  Just to See You Again by MellytheHun (@loserchildhotpants​) - 15k - Explicit - Love Letters - Getting Together - College AU 

A sterek college!AU where writing student Stiles specializes in love letters, runs a blog about it and can be commissioned to write love letters on behalf of lovers who are at a loss for words.

He makes some cash, he’s good at what he does (especially when he gets to be a little more explicit in his letters), it pays for his textbooks and that’s all he’s really looking for and life is fine. That is, until someone anonymously commissions him to write a love letter to mathematics student, Derek Hale.

19:  Chasing Slumber by @hyperlittlenori - 21k - Explicit - Post-Nogitsune - Porn With Feelings - Fix it

Stiles finds solitude and a glimpse at recovering from his ordeal with the Nogitsune in a dingy motel far from Beacon Hills. Inhuman blue eyes follow his silent struggles in the darkness of the room and he can no longer pretend to sleep, pretend he hasn’t been profoundly changed by all that has happened. He can only let his fingers stretch out across threadbare but clean sheets and clench around them, in a failed attempt at not reaching for Derek.

20 :  the thread is ripping by @thepsychicclam - 36k - Explicit - Pinning - Angst with a happy ending - Flashbacks

Stiles is 27 now, with a master’s degree and a career and a house and a serious boyfriend and a life in San Francisco that doesn't include Derek. But then Stiles unexpectedly shows back up in Beacon Hills, and Derek would recognize that scent anywhere.

If you are interested, feel free to check out my Sterek Fic Recs Collections on A03.

On this lovely note, happy reading guys!

[takaraphoenix]

Sally Jackson choice safety over stability in terms of how she'd take care of her child. Both her and Percy faced years abuse by the hands of one man. Does this make her a good mother who was in over her head or an unprepared one making an impulsive decision?

You found the one hot take even I haven’t dared say aloud yet, because I think it may just be my most unpopular opinion in this fandom. One thing everyone in this fandom seems to agree on is the “universal truth” that Sally Jackson is the best mother in the history of fictional mothers. So, here’s my hot take:

Sally Jackson is not that perfect mother the fandom pretends she is.

Sally during the series? Presented as a loving and good mother. But to get to that point? Pre-series Sally is not written as a good mom; she’s written as a plot-device with the things the author needs to happen in mind and not the motivation of a good mother who prioritizes her child’s happiness and safety in mind.

And I’ll back that claim up with three ways in which Sally has failed Percy as a mother. Not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

But before we get into that, I’d like to switch what you said first. Sally Jackson chose stability over safety. Sally chose the stability of keeping her child at her side over said child’s safety. She made an inherently selfish decision that was not with her child’s best interest and overall safety in mind.

Now, the first - and most obvious one - is Smelly Gabe.

And before I can elaborate on that, I need to clarify one very important thing here, before anyone goes “don’t blame the victim!” on me: Sally Jackson is not a victim; she’s a fictional character. Fictional characters can be written as victims, but they are not autonomous people who make their own choices; their choices are very deliberately made by their author for them. And I want to look at the choices that went into writing her this way, writing her story this way.

Real abuse victims get stuck in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons and they don’t get out of them for equally various reasons. Most of the time, it’s something like “he was so sweet and kind at first, but by the time he showed his real face, it was too late” (and, as a note to that; Percy describes Gabe as having been nice to them for a total of thirty seconds before showing his real face. Now while that is, of course, and exaggeration, it still goes to say that Gabe was pretty much upfront about what kind of person he was).

I’ve never heard one start with “he was the most disgusting, grossest man I could possibly find”. Sally Jackson chose this man. Not just in the way one picks a partner. She went out there and chose the stinkiest, grossest man.

It was a deliberate choice on Riordan’s part to have Sally choose an abusive relationship over sending her son away for his own safety. And this decision did not keep Percy safe; Percy Jackson was abused in his own home, by a horribly stinking man, for six years of his life. That’s not keeping your child safe.

The choice was not made to keep Percy safe; the choice was made to keep Percy with Sally. It was inherently selfishly motivated; she didn’t want to send him away, she wanted to keep him with her.

Sally loves Percy, she loves him dearly and fiercely, I’m not arguing that. But that love led to her not wanting to let go of him. And sometimes, parenting means making tough choices, sometimes loving someone means you have to make a tough decision.

In this case, the “tough decision” is presented as Sally bravely putting up with six years of abuse at Gabe’s hand. That’s the narrative chosen by the author.

But the actual “tough decision” would have been to send Percy to Camp Half-Blood, where he would have been safe. That’s the tough choice a mother would have had to make to keep her child safe.

That’s the tough choice the parents of most of the year-rounders have made. Mister Beauregard sent his daughter all the way from Paris to New York to give her this safety. The distance alone guaranteeing he wouldn’t see her for years potentially - because flying between New York and Paris is not necessarily easily affordable for everyone. Sally’s option was to send Percy to a camp that’s literally one and a half hours away. She could have still seen him, he could have easily visited her.

But her solution was to mask Percy’s scent by marrying a stinking, gross, abusive man.

Let me just stretch once more: Sally’s choice did not keep Percy safe. Sally’s choice made their home unsafe. It brought the danger and pain into their home. It may have moderately protected Percy from monsters - until The Lightning Thief kicked in - but it did not keep Percy actually safe, because it put him into a different kind of danger and through a different kind of pain.

For six years. And, this is where the “not a real person but a fictional character” thing comes up again, because this isn’t a woman where one choice leads to a date with a man which leads to a relationship which leads to abuse that she doesn’t know how to get out of anymore. She is a fictional character whose journey was set out to end with her being in an abusive relationship.

And we also don’t know why she didn’t get out of it. She’s not a real person, we don’t know if she was so scared of Gabe that she didn’t know how to leave, if her lack of a support system is what led to her not leaving him, or if it was the motivation of not giving up Percy. The real, actual reason is that Riordan wanted to keep her in there and keep Percy out of the loop until he was twelve and The Lightning Thief could happen. Because she was able of getting rid of him as soon as the truth unravelled and Percy met camp.

And I’d like to use the way she did that to drive back home just how bad Gabe was, just how bad the situation Sally and Percy were in for six years, really was.

She murders him. She flat-out murders him. Both, her and Percy, together. This twelve-year old child who we meet and get to know as kind and not... not a murder-child, is ready to kill a man. That’s how badly Gabe abused them; both of these kind people chose murder to get rid of him.

And it’s just something I’ve never gotten over. Riordan really made the decision that his protagonist’s mom would rather get them both into an abusive home than give Percy up to camp. That was his decision; there could have been other ways. One thing that would have made this seem less like a deliberate choice would have, for example, been Sally not knowing about camp.

If she was a desperate mother, who saw no other options? That’d have made the situation different too. But we know Sally knew about camp. She knew there was a place she could send her son where he would be safe from the monsters, but she decided against that, she decided that she wanted to keep him close, at any costs - and the cost was six years of abuse.

I do not think that this decision should be framed as a heroic sacrifice, because the fact that she knew of an actually safe solution and decided against it was inherently selfish. She did not put up with six years of abuse for selfless reasons because there was “no other way”; there was, she knew that, but the author didn’t want her to take that.

Sometimes, the sacrifice is letting go of your child. And, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t have let go of him for good - camp is in the same bloody city as she is living. Literally one and a half hours away from her.

Now on to the other two ways in which I think Sally Jackson failed Percy.

For one, the lies about his father. Now, real people who are left by their partner with a baby, they can pick whatever to tell their kids whenever. But, again, this is a fictional character and the author makes the decision for her. And this, again, was a decision made solely based on the end result; Riordan needed Percy to not be in the know by the time The Lightning Thief came around, even though from a character-perspective, telling Percy the truth earlier would have been the logical and right decision.

If your kid is a demigod who is attracting real actual monsters with his scent alone? Percy started really attracting monsters when he was six years old and for the next six years, Sally didn’t disclose the truth to him; not about monsters, not about his father, not about the fact that Percy may have powers.

Percy attracted so many monsters that it led to Sally getting married to Gabe. That’s how badly he attracted monsters. Which also implies that Percy must have seen monsters. We get to see in The Lightning Thief just how much Percy thinks he’s going crazy with the things he sees. And that’s  been going on for six years too - six years and in those, his scent only got stronger.

This, again, isn’t just one decision she made. This is a decision she made every single day over and over again. The decision not to tell Percy about his father, the powers, the simple reassurance that he’s not going insane, that monsters are real. This was Percy’s reality and it would obviously only become more and more of an issue the older Percy got, but every single day, she chose not to tell him, to let him believe not just a lie but also steadily that he was going crazy.

And it’d have gone a long way if he had just known. Even with Gabe in their life, even if she hadn’t made the choice to send him to camp at age six, it’d have helped him so much to know the truth and be prepared for this life.

Because this wasn’t just an issue of “the guy left me, I don’t want to talk about it with my kid”, this was inherently about, once more, Percy’s safety. Knowing what to watch out for, knowing the thing you should watch out for is actually real, are huge factors in Percy’s safety. Having him as well-prepared as possible.

She knew his father was Poseidon. It’s not even that she had sex with some dude, not knowing who he was. She knew he was Poseidon. She knew what Percy’s parentage was, she must have observed the slow development of Percy’s powers over the years.

But again, she chose to leave him in the dark about it. He could have been well-prepared by age twelve. Read up everything on Poseidon, experimented with potential powers he may have, understanding why the fishes in the aquarium are talking to him and that he is not actually hearing voices, learning.

But that’s not useful for the author; Riordan wants an unprepared Percy who can be used to introduce this world to the reader.

The choice to not tell Percy the truth about his father and about being a demigod was made deliberately and, again, not in Percy’s best interest. And in this case, there really is no other interpretation left aside from “the author needs it to happen this way” - with Gabe, there is the legitimate argument that she may have been at one point just an abused woman stuck in a relationship with no out because we don’t know enough to know what her motivation and situation were exactly - but there is... no benefit at all in lying to Percy about this, no reason for it.

The moment he first started being in actual life-threatening danger because monsters came after him, it became a pressing matter to tell him what monsters are, that they are real and why they are after him and to prepare him for it.

Which brings me to the third instance.

She never prepared him - even just in a mortal manner. Even if we let the first two - the marriage to Gabe and the lies about his father - stand as they are, Sally could have done something very simple to prepare Percy for his life and to help keeping him safe.

Self-defense classes. Judo. Martial arts. Sword-fighting classes. Whatever.

Many parents teach their kids these kind of things from a young age. Parents whose kids aren’t in constant danger of being attacked by monsters. One of your first parental instincts should be to teach your kid to be safe; to protect themselves. Give him the means to fight back.

So, that’s it. That’s the three very vital and important instances in which I think Sally failed Percy as a mother; not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

Instead of sending him to a safe place where he could learn about his heritage and learn control of his powers as well as learning how to fight the monsters after his life, she chose to marry an abusive, smelly man whose scent would mask Percy’s. Probably. Hopefully. But it didn’t really, not all the time. As shown by The Lightning Thief and monsters coming after Percy. And Percy starts to think he’s crazy, because at no point did she tell him about the monsters, and at no point does he really know how to fight for his life, because at no point did she put the means to defend himself into his hands.

No. No, I do not think that those are the decisions a good mother would make. Those are decisions the author made because he knew the starting point of his story and he knew where Percy’s character needed to be for that.

The thing that’s glossed over are the choices Riordan implicitly made Sally make. To get to this point for Percy, at age 12, he had to make Sally repeatedly act against Percy’s best interests and deliberately not tell Percy the truth or teach him way to stay safe. So he masks those choices by putting on a framework that’s meant to make you only look at her suffering and the outcome, not the choices that led to it. That was Riordan’s choice and he framed it in a way that the fandom ate up and celebrates, when... neither Sally, nor Riordan, had do to that. There was another option on the table and, if Riordan had sat down and thought hard, I’m pretty sure there would have been more options.

The bottom line, what Sally’s parenting comes down to in the end, is that she and Percy got stuck with an abusive man for six years, because she didn’t want to send him to an actual safe place, she spent six years essentially gaslighting Percy about the things he hears/sees by not telling him the monsters are actually real and she repeatedly left him in unnecessary danger by not giving him the means to defend himself in any way whatsoever. And those are not signs of good parenting, not in my book.

But it’s just so much easier to ignore all of that and pretend that blue candy and trips to Montauk are the end all be all and that Sally’s fierce love for her son is the most defining trait of parenting. I know that. Most of the time, I’m right there with you - I love fanon!Sally, I love to pretend she’s the best mom ever and never did anything wrong, because I know the decisions are inherently made by Riordan and are a by-product; I know he wants her to be a good mother, I know throughout the series, he writes her as a good and loving mother.

But if I have to be honest and if I look at the whole text, including the implications of their past, canon!Sally isn’t that good of a mother.

[vln-vibes]

Of Legends, Fairy Tales and Folklore

AKA A MariBat, Ever After High inspired AU

In the World there are certain stories that are universally known. They're known as Legends or Fairy Tales. Every knew the big stories; The Classics of Grimm Tales - Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Goldilocks and the Three Bears etc etc. They even created a new celebration for such stories; Legacy Day. It was a rare event that everyone wished to see; the day the Stories and Legends pledged to follow their story to the tea, no games, no divergence, a perfect recreation through and through. But there were other Legends that began to emerge like those of the Miraculous; The Miraculous were items blessed by the gods of the universe and they always played out the same stories. The Ladybug and the Black Cat would always retrieve the stolen Butterfly, it was always stolen back from the guardians after. The Ladybug would recruit other heroes to aide in their journey and become the next Guardian. The Ladybug and the Black Cat would get together and live their happily ever after.

However people were often unaware of the Folktales- divergent stories that took a split with each incarnation. They began with the story of Bruce Thomas Wayne, an aristocratic boy who lost those dear to him at a young age. His story should have ended that day, he would live his days reclused in his castle, never to see the light of day... However that was not how his story went. He took his mourning and channeled it to create a new Legend. He became the  Batman, a champion against the evil of the world to ensure no one would be destined for a tragic ending. Then came Richard John Grayson.  The day his world came crashing he was destined to become the Talon, a weapon for the Court of Owls and Gotham’s dirty aristocrats; Bruce saved him from a miserable ending and the story of Robin was born. Batman and Robin became folktales; to show that not everything was set in stone, that there were multiple paths to a single beginning. Jason Peter Todd, Timothy Jackson Drake and Stephanie Brown all took on their own incarnations and versions of Robin; each unique in their own way but maintaining their mission to rid the world of its tragic endings that were deemed to be destiny. Along the way came the tales of Batgirl, Batwoman, Black Bat, Spoiler and Signal.

Damian Wayne-al Ghul was one such spirit who was saved. His destiny was to become the ultimate weapon for his family. A culmination of the greatest of the world. When he was at his perfect state he would become the vessel for the Demon. His destiny would not be kind. The story of Batman and Robin were what brought him hope, the small amount he allowed himself. When he finally left the dreaded compound, he was finally able to see that he didn't have to be a weapon for his grandfather. Thus the story of the Fifth Robin began.

Each person selected to be a Story or a Legend was born with a mark, one which would represent their role in the story. When they reached the age of 10 they would wake up to find a blank book, one which only they could read and could never be lost or destroyed. Marinette Dupain-Cheng did not know what to think when she saw the Ladybug mark over her heart, she ensured no one could see it as she knew it would be important for later in her life. The book that appeared when she was ten told her snippets of her story, she could never know too much lest she face unforeseen consequences. 

 "The young Ladybug was loved by all.... Ladybug knew what this moment meant, after all she knew since she was a little girl... The Ladybug and the Black Cat were loved by all, regarded as the best in history... She was abandoned by her friends, all quick to leave her for the next big thing... Ladybug knew she could not deny destiny... Ladybug fell for ..." 

 Marinette did her best to be a good friend, always accommodating, always compassionate and always willing to help her friends.... She never wanted to lose them. When she met Adrien Agreste she thought something clicked, as though he was her destiny to meet. She had felt the same when she met Chloe, Kim, Alix, Max, Nathaniel,(maybe Nino) but something felt different, something she could not place her finger on. The day she found a small black box in her bedroom she knew what it meant, after all she had known since she was a little girl. The day she met the small Kwami she could not help but think that she was hiding something, her eyes looked saddened before smiling and introducing herself.

As soon as Ladybug made an appearance on the rooftops along with Chat Noir everyone was talking about Legacy Day. The Parisians couldn't help but see when their Ladybug would finally announce their Legacy day. Everyone wanted their favorite heroes to get a reassure Happily Ever After.

The Folktales or Justice League , honestly they had no idea who came up with the name, did not know how much progress Ladybug's story had made. "No one truly knows how different each story of the Ladybug is" Diana, the Princess of Thymescara, and current Wonder Woman explained to Batman and Superman, a new folktale with unprecedented beginning, "My mother was once Ladybug, but to be the Ladybug there is always a price. Each and every one is cursed with a robbed happily ever after, a fact many ignore. My mother, after retrieving the Butterfly, was betrayed by her Black Cat; he wanted my mother to be his happily ever after, when she refused he murdered her, its how she was chosen to be Queen of Thymescara by the goddesses. Jeanne d'Arc was burned at the steak for refusing to sign the Storybook of Legends, they accused her of being a witch and of terrible crimes, that she had deceived them and was not the true Ladybug. Even those that signed did not live happy lives after the story was done... I can't help but want to save this Ladybug from the same ending" 

 Adrien Agreste was always told he was born for greatness. His mother and aunt said so the moment his cat mark came out. They wondered which tale would be his or if he and Felix would play their tale; The Twin Rings. He knew he would be getting his happily ever after so he put up with his father's ridiculous standards, the overbearing work and overly sheltered life. Someday, he knew, he would get to see the real world, make friends, he'd get his happily ever after. The moment he met Ladybug he knew it was heading for the right direction. Meanwhile Plagg is sure that Adrien is a cat but not his Black Cat. He of course can't really do anything about it and ever since his mother passed, Adrien's father locked up all their Books. Because Adrien technically knows they're in his father's safe its not considered lost so it can't reappear to him; he has no clue about his story but he thinks it’ll all play out in the end. Ladybug liked Chat Noir but she did not want him to be her happily ever after... she was beginning to doubt if she would even get one. The more time she spent as Ladybug, the greater her magic and her ability to read the past tales of Ladybug. They all began so grand and courageous but... the closer they got to the ending the more tragic she began to find them. Even those that signed the storybook of legend would eventually fail to protect the butterfly, thus the cycle continued. Tikki does eventually confess about the thing with Ladybugs and Marinette isn't surprised, its actually something all Ladybugs end up realizing and just strive forward with it. A few did try to change the story but by that point it was too late; Tikki has hope Marinette still has time to change or decide to stick with the story. With the introduction of "Lila Rossi", the supposed granddaughter of the one Pied Piper of Hamlet and Ermellina, not to mention she was destined Fox of the Miraculous; the Ladybug began to feel her friends move away... they no longer needed her. Or that was what she believed. As it turned out her classmates who had their own Book and story were aware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing who would try to destroy their stories. Many chose to play along with her, to see how it was possible for her to change stories while other stood firmly on their ground and had unknowingly allied themselves to the Ladybug, the test for their own stories.  What they don’t realize is that Lila's actually a Page Ripper, like a dream-eater except for stories, she lives off of or just enjoys destroying stories because she knows hers will end with her being stuck with a terrible ending, in her opinion. She refuses to realize that she only get the terrible ending because she began to destroy other stories.When she saw Marinette she recognized her as definite main character for a Story and began her vendetta against her At this point she already has Ryuuko, Viperion and Queen Bee as her permanent holders, she made a mistake of choosing Alya as the Fox (one her book warned about, and now Alya thinks its supposed to be for Lila.) In reality she has no clue who or if there is even a person who was meant to be the Fox in this version of the story or if she's just supposed to give it to whoever she deems worthy. The Kwami tell her not to worry about it and just choose allies she is sure about. She does eventually recruit other temporary holders but she’s unsure if she could trust them after Rena Rouge.  Everything began to change once more when they ventured to Gotham, the city of Folktales as it was home to the Batman. Their class had been enraptured by the newest story Lila had come up with, about convincing a story to finally follow their destiny and sign their storybook of legends, when she was called out for the fact that it was not her call to make... No one had to follow any so call destiny or story. "Do you not understand! Without the stories the world will fall apart!" she had yelled out 

"And I believe you have no clue where you are. Here, no one has to follow their stories, everyone is free to make their own decisions and create their own version of their story" "And how would you know!" some angry yells began before he took out a book, it was a deep emerald green, easily mistaken for black at a glance, with golden details and cuffs, at the center was a ruby gem, in cursive the spine said 'Damian Wayne' where it once said Ibn al Xu'ffasch That was how the young Ladybug was introduced to the concept of Folktales and met the young Robin. 

 Selina Kyle, the Catwoman, knows that she at some point gains a protege but it should have happened some time ago (around the time one of her old friend’s passed away), she's not sure how she feels about that.  Marinette isn’t sure if she want to sign the Storybook of Legends, truly no one on her team is, but the Parisians are getting persistent. Even city officials are breathing down her neck and she can’t help but think of Jeanne.

Damian's story of Robin begins to transition into a weird mix about becoming a cat of some sort and of breaking a curse.

All anyone is sure of is that

The End is just the Beginning

[amelialincoln]

Helpless pt.2

prompt: @amelialincoln Can you write a fic where amelia is trying to shut link out but link will not let her!

Amelia watched the clouds get dark as she lay with her face upturned to the sky. Jackson and Alex came back about an hour later. Their arms filled with rubbish from the crash. Amelia felt strangely comforted by having Jo pressed against her side. Once she finished screaming, she slept most of the day. She heard Alex and Mer talking about how something might have triggered her psychotic break. Amelia was just relieved to have the worried muffles be about someone other than herself. She ghosted her hand over her tender stomach. The baby was so tiny, so young. She couldn’t help but imagine the worst. She’d done a good job of not getting too attached though, it was Link she was worried about.

Nico hadn’t remembered ever seeing his boss not be optimistic. He was kind of a pessimist himself so Link’s positive behaviour sometimes pissed him off. However, seeing him crouched over with his head in his hands upon entering a random on call room, he couldn’t help but blurt out “what’s wrong” in confusion. Link looked up in surprise. His eyes were red and his shaggy hair was disheveled opposed to neatly styled. Nico could only imagine how shocked he must look.

“Uh nothing,” Link answered, looking away. “You can go home. We’re done for the day.” He wasn’t surprised when Nico left the room quickly, not usually one to show emotion. It had been six hours and they’d heard nothing. He couldn’t leave the hospital because he wanted to be there if they got  updates from the rescue team. But they hadn’t found them or even a single trace of them. Link prodded his swollen knuckles. He’d never felt more helpless. He wasn’t necessarily religious but he prayed with everything he knew that they’d be found before nightfall.

“Wake up, Amelia.” She awoke to Mer’s aggressive shaking and moaned in response as a flash of red hot pain radiated from her chest. “Sorry, you have to stay awake,” she urged, awkwardly crawling to be beside her sister, despite her limp leg. Amelia’s extremities were starting to cramp from the lack of mobility. She hadn’t left her spot against the log in hours, lying as still as possible. Luckily they had Jackson, who was an avid camper and had managed to light a fire that was still burning from the afternoon.

“I’m going to collect some dry wood in case it rains tonight,” Jackson mumbled from somewhere behind her.

“I’ll come with you,” Alex offered, weary about letting the plastic surgeon go alone, despite being exhausted.

“Alex,” Jo practically wailed in protest.

“Just stay, dude,” Jackson sighed. Alex didn’t argue, leaning back to wrap his arms around Jo, who nestled into his chest.

“Do you think they’ll call off searches for the night?” Amelia coughed, receiving a worried look from Meredith who added another layer of bandages on her chest from a first aid kit the boys had found.

“I don’t know,” Mer responded truthfully.

Bailey finally let him come back into the conference room after about an hour of Link texting her and trying to convince her he’d stay calm. He received a couple concerned looks as he entered the room, suddenly embarrassed by his tender hand and Owen’s bruised face. Maggie patted the spot beside her, sympathizing for her sister’s emotionally wrecked looking boyfriend. He nodded gratefully and slipped into the seat beside her, trying to look unassuming. Catherine was speaking in front of the group. Link hadn’t even realized that her son was a part of the group. Jackson always seemed to slip subtly under the radar. However if Catherine was worried, she didn’t seem to show it. Instead she stood calmly in front of the group, discussing their options. Link was sure it was from years of practice but couldn’t imagine ever being able to seem so composed if it were his son that were missing. The baby. The thought would strike him every so often, full force, and he swooned a bit in his seat. She’s strong, his mind screamed and he took a swing from the water bottle in front of him.

“What do you think?” Catherine’s voice brought him back to reality and his eyes widened as he realized she was speaking to him.

“What?” He choked out, receiving a couple glances from the people sitting around the table. God he was sweaty, he found himself thinking.

“We’re trying to decide whether to send them to the nearest hospital or risk transferring them here when they’re found,” Maggie explained, he was thankful she didn’t say ‘if’.

“Transfer them,” he replied simply, not knowing why it was even a question. Bailey nodded at him from across the table, agreeing.

“We can’t make that call until we know what condition they’re in,” Owen argued.

“Do what you want with the others,” Link shrugged at him. “Amelia’s coming here.”

“I’m still her emergency contact,” Owen gulped, hoping Link wouldn’t rage at him.

“Only because she hasn’t had the chance to change it,” Link spat. “I’m the father of her baby.”

“Boys,” Catherine warned. “We just want the best for everyone. I agree that if they’re in bad shape we want them to get care immediately. But it’s likely they’re in the middle of nowhere considering they haven’t been found and I don’t want to put their lives at stake in some random hospital with limited technology.”

“I agree with Doctor Lincoln,” Bailey finally found her voice, receiving a supportive gesture from Richard. It was settled, they were coming here.

Amelia was beginning to drift in and out of consciousness, becoming unresponsive to Meredith’s attempts to keep her awake. She could barely lift her head without a wave of exhaustion forcing her back down. She supposed it was due to blood loss. So she barely noticed when flashlights flooded the ‘campsite’. Jo started uncontrollably sobbing as the rescue team descended upon the group. The helicopter came shortly after. Amelia was lifted into a stretcher, an oxygen mask placed over her face. She took in ragged breaths and finally let herself fall completely asleep.

As the group was brought into the vacant emergency room, long after midnight, almost every doctor waited for their arrival. There hadn’t been much communication so Bailey called in everyone just in case. Link eyes immediately found Amelia. So limp he almost cried out in horror before seeing the small puff of air escape her lungs and appear in the oxygen mask secured around her mouth and nose. Carina patted his back sympathetically before moving past him to tend to her. Link numbly followed, taking her hand in his and giving it a supportive squeeze. Her eyes fluttered open in response, taking in her surroundings.

“Link,” she coughed as she lashed out to reach him. Maggie forced her down, yelling at her to stay still. Link wished he could comfort her but all he wanted to do was run out of the room. Bile threatened to spill out of his mouth as Amelia cried out in pain.

“She’s not going to want drugs.” Was all he could manage to say. Amelia squeezed his hand in agreement.

“Let’s get her to CT,” Maggie ordered. “We don’t have time for this.” She was referring to Carina’s protests about getting an ultrasound. 

“Fine!” Carina finally pushed the machine back in frustration. “I’ll meet you in the OR.” Maggie nodded, wheeling Amelia’s gurney out of the emergency room. Link looked to the obstetrician, his eyes watery. To his dismay she shook her head. “Does not look good,” she confessed. “It was already too small.” She wished she could console him as he burst into tears but instead ran to catch up to Maggie.

Three months

“How was your meeting?” Link asked as the brunette slid into his car.

“Good,” she responded, pulling the pins that were securing her bun out of her hair.

“Did you work through anything in particular?” He asked tentatively.

“Link,” she warned, begging him to drop it.

“Whatever,” he muttered. Accelerating a little too quickly due to his anger and causing them to both jolt back in their seats. Amelia winced, placing a slender hand to her thorax and reaching into her bag for an advil. Amelia had been popping them like candy and although Link knew they weren’t addictive, the sight of Amelia even taking pills made him uncomfortable. “Why can’t you just talk to me?” he pressed, knowing he shouldn’t. He’d never felt more distant from her in his life, despite going through something so tragic with her. “You wake up at night screaming from nightmares, sounds set you off, we can’t have sex and you won’t talk to me. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Amelia shook her head, leaning back in her seat as if the conversation was exhausting her. “I just prefer to get through my shit on my own.”

“Then why am I here?” He finds himself saying. “What am I good for?” His words seemed to echo in the vehicle and to his annoyance she didn’t reply. Instead she stepped out of the car and practically ran up the stairs to their apartment. When he finally followed her into their place he opened the door to find the shower running. He pushed the thought of how they always used to shower together out of his mind and numbly changed out of his scrubs into a pair of sweatpants. He walked into their ensuite to grab a fresh pair of socks and heard Amelia poorly stifle a sob from inside the frosted glass. He sighed, sliding the shower door open. He found her curled up in a ball on the ground, her fingertips tracing the healing scars on her breasts. Without hesitation he crawled in beside her, wrapping his arms around her trembling body. He hadn’t seen her unclothed in what felt like forever. He was surprised by how much had changed.

“I’m not going to let you shut me out, Mia,” he finally told her, smoothing his wet hair out of his face and cupping her cheek in his hand.

“I wanted him,” she sobbed, allowing Link to pull her into his bare chest.

“Who?” Link asked softly, hoping anything he responded with wouldn’t stop her from opening up.

“Our baby,” she grimaced, as if the words physically hurt.  

“Me too,” he admitted, his breath warm on her bare shoulder. He pressed a lingering kiss to her wet temple. “I can’t imagine what the five of you went through. I wish I was on that plane so I could. But I wasn’t and I don’t know how to help you.” 

“Don’t give up on me?” Was her almost immediate response. “I’m trying, Link. My brain is foggy and I feel like I’m in slow motion all the time. Everything’s moving too fast. Everyone’s moving on so fast. They’re all okay except they aren’t. And no one wants to talk about it.”

“Jo comes back Thursday,” Link offered.

“Alex doesn’t think she’s ready,” Amelia confessed. “He visited her last week and said there’s hardly been any change.”

“They won’t let me go see her,” Link added, wondering if his best friend would ever fully recover.

“Jackson just acts like nothing happened and Mer has just carried on working and sees a therapist. Bailey just cleared me last week and everyone still walks on eggshells around me.

“Everyone copes differently,” he tried.

“Not everyone is left with scars that are a constant reminder every time you look in the mirror. They make me want to escape my own body.”

“Amelia, your body is beautiful.” He traced her curves, trying to ignore that the last time she was completely naked in front of them they were trying to decide whether she was showing or not. “They tell a story.”

“An awful story. A story I want to forget.” Her voice was as sharp as a knife.

“When I look at them I see your strength. You’ve gone through hell, Amelia. I’m in pain. I can’t even begin to imagine what yours must be like. But you’re not alone, I’m here.”

“I know,” she mumbled. He was surprised when she placed a tentative kiss on his lips. “I just want to forget. Can you make me forget?” It hurt how broken her voice sounded. He nodded, allowing his lips to trail down her neck, her back arching in response.

“Of course.”

Hours later they were wrapped in each other’s arms, in the same bed that Link had felt so alone in over the past couple of months, despite her laying beside him.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair, half expecting her to be asleep.

“I love you too,” she responded, sleepily. To Link’s surprise she didn’t wake up screaming at any point in the night. When the subway rattled their condo she barely flinched and instead allowed him to wrap her tighter into his protective grasp. Link couldn’t help but smile, knowing that he was slowly getting the woman he loved back.  

[faedawayyy]

og verse: my plans for the guys.

this gif of chloe is nothing to do with this but i love the bratz lol. triggering topics below! read with caution.

DALLAS JACKSON, 23, third year. 

SECRET: he deals drugs. the jacksons are in the circle of wealthy families in violet springs alongside the calloways, hamiltons, carmichaels, barhams sinclairs etc.but they’re bankrupt, the family has a lot of dark secrets and the main one is that his dad is an addict to both gambling and drugs, to the point where their family is now bankrupt and loaning tons of money from other families are dodgy loan-sharks. the pressure from being the main bread-winner of the family has turned dallas into somebody he never set out to be. 

WHERE HE IS ATM: mentally, dallas is on a rocky road to health. he’s still addicted to drugs himself but after a very messy break-up with zara and a messier one with soraya, he’s working closely with friends to focus on his career and try to at least get his mental health in the right place.  MY PLANS: another downfall is literally inevitable, it’s dallas. i do think he’ll build himself back up to be huge, though, but he has a lot of resentment to a lot of people and can count on both hands the people he actually likes at st judes. i think there’ll be a lot more of OG dallas; hurting people/arguing with those he doesn’t care about etc.  UP COMING PROJECT: justice the album.

MASON CARMICHAEL, 26, fifth year.

SECRET: mason is the only child in the carmichael family who knows that their dad isn’t dead. after getting too close to being tied to a very serious money laundering case, he took his stroke in 2019 as a route out. however, he kept in touch with mason knowing he’s probably the most trustworthy to keep his whereabouts a secret. mason is sitting on the information but it’s getting harder and harder to do when he sees how much the loss of such a key figure is affecting him.  

WHERE HE IS ATM: at the moment, mason and kendall have been trying to start a family and he’s also found out that amy is his daughter. this threw him into a huge dilemma and he clashed extremely hard with madison over it. there are still hard feelings - and towards bash, who was just given the role of amy’s father despite mason knowing nothing about it.  MY PLANS: i think mason is going to want to see amy more and more despite knowing kendall isn’t hot on the idea/neither is madison to an extent. depending on how everything goes, he’ll definitely take madison to caught for joint custody of amy seeing as he’s never refused to be her dad or acknowledge her - he was just never told.  UP COMING PROJECT: princesses, the franchise. 

BRODY CARMICHAEL, 25, fourth year. 

SECRET: brody has very publicly become a father. he and disney have had their relationship watched by the world since they started high school musical at 14. on the outside, he has everything together. he’s the alpha male type; not that that’s great; think the character taylor plays in her “the man” video and pretty untouchable. on the inside, he’s seriously grieving the loss of his dad and isn’t coping well with the pressure of a new family. his drinking problem happens very much behind closed doors and is straining his marriage but divorce isn’t a marriage, both of them are way too invested in being the world’s most perfect couple.

WHERE HE IS ATM: he’s already had a warning from the hospital that another binge like he’s had could be the end of him and he’s on a very stern plan to become sober. again, nobody actually knows this so he’s kind of recovering in silence but i think he’ll genuinely get better.

MY PLANS: it’ll take a long time but he’ll definitely get better. i don’t think plots always have to be about characters spiralling. i’m also planning for him to see his dad by mistake or something of the sort. i feel like a lot of people will assume he’s high/drunk and it’ll really fuck with him but i haven’t sat and thought out of the details. 

UP COMING PROJECT: neighbours 2: sorority rising 

BLAKE CRUZ, 23, third year.

SECRET: he watched his brother die. blake didn’t really know what was happening at the time but when he was 12, his older brother charlie was 16. he’d come in after a night of sneaking out and crept back into their shared room as usual. blake was still awake and heard he was clearly drunk, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary. he only knew something was seriously wrong when he fell asleep, and then woke up a few hours later and realised charlie was unconcious on top of his bed, still in his clothes - he never just passed out and always got ready for bed; even when completely wasted. he finally called for his parents but it was too late. by morning, charlie was pronounced dead and blake is living with the guilt of not saying anything because he didn’t want to get his brother in trouble. instead, he just let him die. he still hasn’t come to terms with it and tells charlie’s old friends that his death was undetermined instead.  WHERE HE IS ATM: blake is very good at burying his memories of charlie and focuses on his relationship and career to stop him from falling down a rabbit hole of guilt and self blame. he’s focused on his new marriage and releasing music with the 5SOS boys, although he’s had his own projects in the works for a very long time - he just doesn’t know how to go about it.  UP COMING PROJECTS: CALM, 5sos. 

OTIS KINGSTON, 21, second year.

SECRET: otis actually wants to become a teacher. he’s enrolled in the academy for acting after his uncle pushed him towards doing it and he’s had moderate success but his true passion lies in teaching others and being out of the spotlight. that’s why he’s very slowly failing on purpose; he wants to be a seventh year and be given more normal career paths. it might have something to do with the fact that he was having an affair with his older brother’s girlfriend who also failed her final year and is currently a student teacher. his brother never bothers with her so it makes it easy for the two of them to sneak around.

WHERE HE IS ATM: otis is very good at pretending. he puts on such a show that when he loses out or doesn’t get a role, people think he’s GENUINELY upset when in reality, he probably did it on purpose. he feels a little bad taking the spot from someone who wants it, but he did what he needs to do.

UP COMING PROJECTS: euphoria (?)

NATE HARWOOD, 23, third year.

SECRET: nate never got into st judes to begin with. he cheated himself in by changing some of his exam results in high school. a good friend of his tried to push him to do the right thing and consider his other options but nate was fixated on getting into the school, along with two more of his friends who initially failed. his friend threatened him and told him that he’d let their professors know if he went through with it. to stop him getting anywhere near, nate and his friends spiked his drink to get him too drunk to remember on prom night; however, he was so drunk he fell down a huge staircase outside the venue on the fire escape and ended up paralysed from the waist down. 

WHERE HE IS ATM: nate has more or less buried the high school mistake but every now and then it comes back to haunt him. at the moment, he’s just making music and doing his best to live the dream he risked WAY too much for. 

UP COMING PROJECTS: a good friend is nice

DARIUS RICHARDS, 24, fourth year.

SECRET: darius is actually a west ivy’s student. he was selected by his principle to secretly enroll in st judes to check out the competition. he’s also behind a lot of the sabotages that have been happening in the school (including the up and coming fire). his main aim is to make sure that west ivy’s is better than st judes in everyway, no matter what it takes. 

WHERE HE IS ATM: he’s hiding in plain sight. nobody suspects a thing from him. darius is being extra careful with the projects he releases and to always stay a little bit below complete stardom - it makes it easier for him to navigate and do things unnoticed. but, he has met people he genuinely likes too and does his best to save them from sabotage. 

UP COMING PROJECTS: starboy

TATE SIMPSON, 26, fifth year. 

SECRET: back to the tragedy in his home...it’s true that tate was never harmed by anyone growing up; not physically, anyway. but that doesn’t mean his home was perfect. his parents were young when they had him and he grew up with little money. this put a lot of strain on them and his dad couldn’t deal with it. he resorted to cheating, drinking and being wildly abusive. there were mornings tate turned up at school without sleeping because he’d been up all night hearing his parent’s argue and fight. it escalated. his father moved on to beating his mother and he’d feel helpless. one night while they were arguing, the fire alarm went off due to them leaving the oven on and it stopped them. so, the next time the fighting got severe and tate heard his mother being beat again, he had an idea. he grabbed a lighter from his parents bedroom and set fire to one of his stuffed animals to set the fire alarm off - it did, and his parents stopped arguing, but not before the fire had spread across the top floor of their home. the fire brigade rescued tate and his father, but not his mother. she passed away and he’s blamed himself ever since. nobody ever found the real case, but that doesn’t make it much better for him.

WHERE HE IS ATM: he’s new and just starting out! 

UP COMING PROJECTS: big time adolescence 

MARCUS CARMICHAEL, 26, fifth year.

SECRET: marcus is often used as his uncle’s scapegoat. james never wanted to get leo, mason or brody too tied into the shadier side of the family business so marcus; child of a single mother and secretly desperate for an in to their world was the perfect candidate. he’s never minded either, to be honest. if he gets paid for shifting some money around or scamming a big time director, so be it. however, the last job he did for james was way too intense, even for him. it included the trafficking of janey and collecting the money made off of her. he had a chance to save her, he knows that, but not without exposing his uncle’s dark secrets. he was never DIRECTLY involved but he knows that doesn’t make him any better. 

WHERE HE IS ATM: marcus is focusing on his acting career and making a conscious effort to be better and stay out of trouble. with ghosts from his past constantly showing up, though, it really is proving to be difficult. 

UP COMING PROJECTS: hemlock grove

ANTHONY HENSHAW, 27, fifth year. 

SECRET: anthony is a stalker. he fixates on people and it gets intense. after being bullied in high school, he latches on to the people who’re nice to him and reads too much into small acts of kindness. he can actually be incredibly dangerous; not many people have noticed yet. 

WHERE HE IS ATM:  he’s currently fixated on natasha but always open for more.

UP COMING PROJECTS: probably some kind of deal with spotlight to shoot different students idk 

KRISTOFER NILSEN, 27, fifth year.

I’LL DO HIM WHEN I CBA 

PHILIP LAWSON, 27, fifth year. 

SECRET: the stunt at the calloway isn’t random. his dad persuaded him to get it in order to get more information on gerald and more specifically, his account details. believe it or not, philip has already managed to access one of his minor accounts after snooping through a secret office of his, but it only had hundreds in there. he’s ok though; he’s ready to play the long game - and steal from all his less privacy-savy friends while he’s waiting.

WHERE HE IS ATM: just starting out! 

UP COMING PROJECTS: big time adolescence/bloom

JUDE BAKER, 18, first year.

SECRET: he’s family are super broke, but he doesn’t let on TOO much. everybody in town knows that his family own the motel that’s on the border of violet springs and london, but that leads to people assuming he’s quite well off or at least average which is how he likes it. his dad is way too carried away with his dream of being a hotel owner which has lead to the baker family selling everything. he literally lives in the motel and really doesn’t have much else to report on.

WHERE HE IS ATM: he’s quiet, anxious and i feel like he’d have one friend who isn’t exactly popular either. all through attending springs park, he was bullied by assholes and st judes was meant to be his fresh start, but he’s realised everybodys worse and with a bigger ego. he keeps himself to himself and is just tries not to be a target. 

UP COMING PROJECTS: stranger things >:) 

EZRA HUGHES, 25, fourth year.

AGAIN I’LL DO IT WHEN I CBB 

[swtorramblings]

The Many in the One

For Day 3 of Mace Windu Appreciation Week.

Crossover: There are plenty of interesting works of fiction and fictional characters out there, let’s see Mace interacting with one, or more! Is it someone from another sci-fi series? Or another Samuel L. Jackson character? The sky’s the limit for who he might meet.

Sorry, but romance? Ships? I’d need a much longer run up for anything like that, if I could make it work at all. I should have started earlier in the month, I guess. Well, unless it was set to Disney music. Hmm… So, I went with the alternative. As such, it is quite a bit more far-fetched than the previous stories. Hopefully still all right, though. It’s also longer.

“Unlimited power!” As the last words Mace was ever going to hear, those were especially stupid. And horribly frustrating. He’d protected the Republic all his life. Dying now to this tyrant that had installed himself as its ruler, with the approval of so many, crushed his hopes long before it was going to crush his body. It was almost a relief when he was flung out the broken window. He fell, his final thoughts devoted to trying to find a solution, something that could have been done differently, tormenting him with answers that no one could have known until it was much too late. Then, he had a vision. Wolves, racing in a circle. A way to make another chance, a portal opened in the past, but reaching out to him now, and echoing into the future and the past. He reached for it with his remaining hand, closed his eyes, and pulled. He landed on a path, floating strangely in space. He had expected to be crushed by the fall, still, but looking around, his survival in this strange place was probably the least surprising thing about it. He could sense them out there, all of those that had ever been able to access this place, this world between worlds. In this place, there was only this one moment, so they were all here. Thousands of them, perhaps. Along with several other Mace Windus. He tended to his injury first. The wrist was cauterized, so he was in no danger of bleeding to death, but he wanted to be sure it wouldn’t cause him any further issues, other than having to adjust his fighting techniques. Then he remembered that he had lost his lightsaber along with the hand. He realized also that he was still in shock, from the fight, from the failure. No point in dwelling on it. He set off, exploring this strange place. He found several portals back to the galaxy, but recognized them for the past. He was tempted, to go through one, to warn them, perhaps even to warn himself. As he explored, though, he realized that he would unravel reality if he did so. What had happened was tragic, but he couldn’t risk making it even worse. Then, strangely, he found himself, but not as he had ever been. It wasn’t his past, and he had no future, so who was this? He was certain that it wasn’t just a random resemblance, but truly himself, and yet not. This portal, he could feel, was safe. More, it was necessary. He stepped through. The other him was startled, of coursed, but calmed himself quickly and echoed Mace’s own thoughts from earlier. “Well, you’re not the strangest thing I’ve seen lately.” “No, neither are you. Where am I? Who are you?” “It’s hard to explain. We’re inside a vessel from the far future, where a horrible accident flung it here. I’m Dr. Harry Adams.” “Ah, that does make sense. Mace Windu.” “That’s an odd name.” “I could say the same. Anyway, I’m dealing with time travel right now myself.” “Because of course you are. The problem is, this machine is twisting our own thoughts against us. I’m trying to be dispassionate, but my own fears will add to the others eventually if we can’t get them under control.” He felt it, pulling at him as well. Power to make his thoughts real, if he let it, if he could remain focused, but horribly destructive if he lost control. He smiled at his latest apprentice. “That, at least, I think I can help you with.”

The training took some time, but their unique situation made it possible, still. He didn’t have to train Harry in all the nuances of the Force, or lightsaber combat, strategy, or any of the myriad things a Jedi might need. Only the technique of self-control, awareness, and letting go. Still, it probably took years. Harry was normally too old to have accepted this teaching, but they had the time. Eventually, he shook hands with his teacher, and left the sphere. Mace knew he would eventually have to return to the path. He also realized that he had already done what he was about to do. He was beginning to hate time travel. He returned to the world between worlds, allowing himself to be drawn back. He looked at his new hand, a robotic one similar to the one Skywalker sported, created with the Sphere’s power. It made him uncomfortable, but something had told him that he would need it soon. The other item he’d created while in the Sphere he drew from his belt. As he pressed the switch, the purple light made him smile.

He came to another portal, seeing himself once again, an older man who had endured a great deal, and was using that experience to save others, to force them to act together to save themselves. Moments later, he died, horribly. Mace waited for the scene to start over again. He could appreciate irony, and knew he probably shouldn’t interfere, but this went too far. He was speaking his last words now. “But first, we’re going to seal off this…” Mace jumped through the portal and struck just as the massive aquatic beast emerged from the water, slashing through it with his lightsaber, driving it, badly wounded, back into the water. Then he raised his hand, strained for a moment, and brought down the heavy steel door slamming down to seal this entryway. His counterpart backed away, gaping at him in fear. He tried to smile reassuringly for a moment, but it wasn’t working, so he turned to the others. “All of you, are you going to listen to this man?” They just stared. “I said…” Uncharacteristically, he raised his voice. He preferred calm persuasion, but it seemed like what they would respond to. “ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS MAN?” They all started nodding vigorously. One of them said, “Yes, anything he says.” “Good. Maybe you’ll get out of here alive.” Two journeys, both underwater. He wondered if Master Fisto should have been on this journey, but the job had fallen to him. Still, he liked the idea that he was honoring his old friend here. He hoped he would approve, even if he had to hurt the sea creature. He nodded to himself, who nodded back, and stepped back onto the path.

He saved a brutal man, a version of himself that was a paid killer, with a simple telekinetic trick to divert the projectiles that would have killed him. This also saved this version’s friend, but only for the moment. The other him, though, decided to do better. As a small reward, Mace got a glimpse of something in a case his other self carried, and was comforted for a moment by its golden light. Really, the snakes were no trouble at all. His fragile but brilliant self Mace attempted to persuade from his path, but he was too enamored of his own theories about the way the world worked to be changed. A shame. The leader, the manipulator, the organizer, he also couldn’t save, gunned down in his apartment. Mace eventually replaced him, knowing that his work wasn’t done, learning enough of this strange world to be able to explain how he had lived through the attack that his allies found plausible. It was a good life for a time, though the eyepatch sometimes itched. Eventually, though, after having seen himself in many lives and many circumstances, his own hair grown and gray, he knew his time was nearly over. Through one last portal, before he returned to that moment on Coruscant, he heard his own voice, impossibly helping a young woman, a young Jedi, long after his own death. He knew he had to return to be there when she would need them all, so he went back to that first portal, finally, and fulfilled his fate and his duty with no regrets. Mace Windu became one with the Force, like all before and after him, but had touched the multiverse. How could he have regrets?

[jalapeno-princess]

We’ll Learn to Love Again

Mark X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend Mark has been on the rocks lately to the point where you’re having nightmares about him leaving you. Things between the two of you haven’t been the same for months and you’ve been questioning his feelings for you which leads to confrontation and a bunch of tears. But in the end, no matter how empty your relationship has become, neither of you want to give up on one another. 

Right from the start You were a thief, you stole my heart And I your willing victim I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty And with every touch you fixed them Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh Things you never say to me oh oh Tell me that you've had enough Of our love, our loveJust give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

“I don’t love you anymore.” 

Those five words weren’t much, but they spoke volumes. Mark was a man of little words but many actions. However, you knew with the way he’s been acting towards you lately that this was going to happen sooner or later. He bore no emotion in his face as his confession fell out from his mouth and the sight felt like a stab to the chest. 

“You’re lying, you don’t mean that. Mark—“ The exhausted sigh that fell from his lips along with the piercing glare he was sending you caused your heart to sink deeper down your stomach the longer you were in his presence. 

“Why would I be lying y/n? It’s the truth. I no longer love you. What’s so hard to understand? Look at us! We’re both so unhappy and whenever I look at you, I feel nothing. No excitement, no love or admiration, no spark or butterflies swarming around my tummy like they used to. I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with staying in this relationship knowing that I don’t have any feelings for you anymore. I’m sorry, but it’s over.” 

You sank to your knees and began sobbing. The two of you have been together for over five years. Sure, things haven’t been all that great between you both for the last month, but you didn’t think it would lead him to falling out of love with you. 

Although he was standing so close to you, you felt as if he was miles away. The man standing in front of you was not the same man you fell in love with all those years ago. You had a hard time understanding where it all went wrong. It felt physically impossible to stand, so you found yourself sinking to your knees and pathetically begging him to change his mind. 

Countless promises of making sure things would be different and how you were willing to do whatever you could to make sure he’d stay fell from your lips and you felt so disgusted with yourself with how you were reacting to this entire situation. When you looked up at him, he was no longer standing there and you found yourself immediately standing up and running around the room while screaming his name. 

His words never left your mind and you felt as if you were going to pass out at the thought of Mark no longer being in your life. He made leaving you look so easy; as if he never loved you in the first place. Your sobs only grew louder as you processed the reality of what just went down. How were you going to live without him? He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. 

You were sure he ripped your heart out, stepped on it and took whatever pieces of it that still worked with him. You didn’t recognize the place you were in but you felt as if you were running in circles. Mark was no where to be found and you felt like you were about to throw up with all the running you were doing. Since you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, you failed to notice the tree branch lying on the ground and ended up falling flat on your face. 

You immediately sat up before you could fall and it was in that moment where your chest heaved and sweat fell from your face as you looked at your bathroom door that it was just a dream. A nightmare to be exact. You turned your body to make sure that the man in question was still lying next to you and let out a sigh of relief when you saw his sleeping figure cuddled up in to his blanket. 

The dream might as well have been real. It felt too real. You wouldn’t be surprised if the dream were to become reality. Both you and Mark have been growing distant for a while now. It first started when both of you grew busy with your jobs and your schedules collided with one another. You’d still be fast asleep as he left for work and you’d leave right as he would come home. 

The two of you only ever saw each other on the weekends and even then, you’d do your own things and practically not even see each other at all. Then came the arguments. When you noticed your boyfriend was growing distant, you couldn’t help but feel as if there was someone else. You didn’t want to believe that Mark would do such a thing by going out and cheating on you, but who could blame you? He was no longer intimate with you; he never kissed, hugged or held you unless you initiated it and even when it came to sex, he always seemed to find a reason not to want to do it with you. 

There were so many times in your relationship where your boyfriend couldn’t keep his hands off of you. In fact, there was a point where you had quite a few pregnancy scares because you and Mark were going at it like rabbits. These days, sex was a foreign subject to you. You could barely remember how it felt like having him buried deep inside of you as he hid his face in the crook of your neck to prevent his breathy moans from escaping his pretty lips. 

As much as you enjoyed making love to him, that wasn’t the only thing that you missed. You missed the overflowing love and support that he never failed to show you throughout the duration of your relationship. You missed the way you were genuinely happy because of him. The way he never failed to make you laugh and smile at the silliest things, the way he made you feel so safe and warm whenever he held you in his embrace. You missed him. You missed the person you were when everything was okay with him. 

When you confronted him about his potential infidelity, he went berserk. He couldn’t even believe that you would assume that he would do such a thing. He was quick to turn the tables on you and tried to paint you out to be the bad guy. You remembered how he accused you of sleeping around with one of his closest friends Jackson and it broke out in to one of the biggest arguments you had as a couple. 

After three days of giving each other the cold shoulder, Mark nonverbally apologized by buying you your favorite food and a bouquet of flowers. However, it wasn’t enough for you. One thing the two of you lacked in your relationship was communication. You felt as if Mark did whatever he could to take your mind off of how your relationship was no longer what it used to be by pushing all of your problems under the rug. 

He never liked confrontation, especially whenever it came to what you felt was wrong in your relationship. The two of you started doing your own things. There was a point where you felt suffocated by how clingy Mark was but at the same time, you enjoyed it. Wherever you went, he always tagged along. As much as he hated grocery shopping, he went with you and always ended up putting things in the cart that neither of you needed. Every doctor’s appointment, whenever you visited your family and even during class, Mark would be there right next to you. 

Nowadays, you found yourself doing everything on your own. The distance came out of nowhere. He just stopped coming and showed no interest in doing so. Mark made it aware to you that he didn’t like you going anywhere alone because he was afraid of something bad happening to you. You couldn’t help but cry at the thought of him no longer caring about your safety. 

No matter how much you told yourself that the two of you were just going through a rough patch and that it was normal for couples to be independent sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel like the end was near. Since you knew there was no way you’d be able to go back to sleep, you quietly got out of bed in attempts of not waking him and made your way out onto your terrace. 

Stargazing in the cold weather always made you feel so peaceful. You took the time to turn on the fairy lights that Mark put up after your countless pleas over a year ago and frowned when you remembered how he was willing to do anything and everything to make you happy no matter how hard it was or how tired he would get. Your happiness was always your boyfriend’s number one priority; where did it all go wrong? 

The last time you came out here with Mark, the two of you conversed about your future together. It was him who brought up getting married, starting a family and growing old together. He told you how excited he was at the idea of what the future held for the two of you, how many kids he wanted; he even had their names planned out. You didn’t even know you were crying until you felt a tear fall on your thighs and you let out a choked out sob when reality hit you that there was a huge chance your future wouldn’t end up the way you both planned it to. 

Did Mark still want to settle down and spend the rest of his life with you? Did he still see you in his future? Or did he get tired of you and realized that you were no longer what he wanted? The night grew colder the longer you stayed outside and you mentally cursed yourself for not putting on a jacket over your camisole but you didn’t care. You were too heartbroken, too numb to even notice the chilly weather nipping at your skin. If you and Mark were still on good terms, you knew he would hold you tightly and run his hands along your shoulders to warm you up. He was always so warm; he was your own personal furnace. Now, you were constantly feeling so cold. 

Although you didn’t know what time it was, you were sure you spent at least an hour outside crying and reminiscing on what used to be. Right as you were about to get up and make your way back to bed, you heard the glass door slide open and you jumped at the commotion. 

“Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing y/n. Look at your cheeks, they’re pink and your lips are turning purple. Let’s get you inside—“ you couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic giggle. If this was months ago, you would’ve smiled like an idiot at the thought of him being worried for you, now you felt bitter and didn’t care whether or not he genuinely felt anxious for your well-being. 

“What’s so funny?” You shook your head in disbelief. 

“This is the most you’ve talked to me in months, I’m just having a hard time processing it.” He gave you a knowing look before scoffing at your condescending demeanor. 

“Please don’t start y/n, I’m tired and I have school in the morning. Let’s go—“ you released an exhausted sigh and did the unthinkable. When you gripped on to his wrist, you were quick to notice the way sorrow flashed in his eyes but he didn’t say anything about your sudden ministration. 

“Can we talk?” To be honest, you had no idea what you were going to say to him. Sure, you wanted to hear how he felt about the current state of your relationship and if he thought it was worth fighting for. But you weren’t ready to hear that he didn’t want to be with you anymore. 

For all you knew, he was no longer in love with you and only stayed in the relationship because it was convenient. If the two of you were to break up, you would have to leave the apartment and you’d have to take on more hours at your job in order to afford living by yourself. Plus, Mark would have to learn how to cook, do his laundry and the dishes by himself. 

You knew there was a huge chance he was only staying with you because he didn’t want to go through the stress and hostility that came with a breakup. You noticed Mark’s hesitance, those three words never meant anything good. 

“Okay.” You took a seat on the chaise and he was quick to follow; the amount of space between the two of you was suffocating. Both you and Mark were silent, you knew he wanted you to speak first so he knew how to control the conversation. 

“I don’t—I don’t know where to start. I‘m sure you’re aware that our relationship is not what it used to be and I have no idea why that is. We no longer act like a couple. We haven’t been intimate in months. We don’t kiss, we don’t hug, we don’t spend any time together. I feel like our relationship is just a chore to you. I don’t know how you feel, hell, you might even not understand where I am coming from but I can’t help feeling as though you wouldn’t care if I were to leave.” 

With the way his jaw was clenching, you knew he must’ve been upset at your revelation, but he needed to hear it. Mark opened his mouth as if he was about to say something or like he was going to respond to your sudden confession but you were quick to continue. 

“I visited my mom the other day and she asked me how you’ve been. I lied and told her you were good, but I have no idea myself. We haven’t sat down and had a decent conversation in months. I can’t even remember the last time we went out on a date. You don’t look at me the way you used to. There were so many times during our relationship that you would look at me like you were so in love with me and it never failed to make my heart flutter. Now you can’t even look at me in the eyes. What happened to us Mark? Why are we falling apart? When—why did we become so distant? Is this it for us? When did you—when did you fall out of love with me?” 

Once those last few words fell from your mouth, so did the river of tears against your cheeks. Your chest grew tight, you began to heave and your heart grew heavy. You didn’t even want to look at Mark; his reaction would probably cause you to cry even more than you already were if it was even possible. There was nothing Mark hated more than to see you cry, especially if he was the reason. He did whatever he could to make it up to you and to get you to stop crying, but things were different this time and he was completely aware of that. 

To your surprise, you were being pulled in to Mark’s embrace as he roughly ran his fingers through your hair and held you tightly as if he would lose you if he were to let go. His cry was just as loud and if not, louder than yours was and with the way he was tightly gripping your waist, you knew your words had an effect on him. Hesitantly, you placed your head in the crook of his neck and left a gentle kiss there. You’ve missed this. Being wrapped in Mark’s embrace, being held by him, actually feeling him. 

Knowing he was real and not just a figment of your imagination. Why did your relationship have to take a turn for the worst? You didn’t realize how much you loved being in his arms since it’s been so long and although the thought of breaking up with him filled up your mind every now and then, there was no way you could live without him. 

“Y/n—“ you placed your finger on his lips to prevent him from explaining his mind just yet. There was still so much you needed to get off of your chest and you knew that once he started talking, there’d be no way he’d allow you to voice out your feelings. 

“I had a nightmare that you left me. It might have as well been true. You told me that you didn’t love me anymore and that you no longer had feelings for me. Then you told me it was over. I cried, begged and pleaded for you to stay but all my efforts went to shit and you left. I guess it’s just my subconscious giving me a taste of what might happen between us—don’t look at me like that. You and I both know we’re on the verge of a break up. I don’t know how you feel, you don’t speak up about things like this but I do know that if you still have feelings for me, they’re not as strong as they used to be. You no longer care about me in the way that you used to and I miss it. I miss us. I miss you and I don’t know what to say or do to keep us from completely giving up on each other. I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t force you to stay if you don’t want to.” 

Once you felt like you said everything you needed to, you hesitantly tried to pull away from him but to your surprise, he only gripped on to you tighter. It was in that moment that you heard his muffled cries and you could feel your heart breaking at the sound. He brought you closer in to his chest if it was even possible with how tight his grip on you was already and continued to cry, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as the tears fell. 

“I—I’m sorry y/n—so fucking sorry. I should’ve known—that you felt like this about our relationship—you’ve been talking in your sleep lately—I’m sure it’s the dreams. I’ve heard you cry and pray that things would get better but I didn’t think you were referring to us. God I’m such an idiot. I noticed the distance as soon as it started happening but I didn’t think it would cause you to think I no longer loved you. We were just both doing our own things. We’re both full-time students with full-time jobs. I just assumed that we no longer saw each other as much because we’re constantly working or at school. But I will admit, the distance fucking sucks. I actually thought it was because you were getting tired of me; that you no longer wanted to be with me.” Although you weren’t looking at him, you knew by the tone in his voice that he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“I guess I stayed away because I was afraid that you came to the conclusion that you wanted to end our relationship. Don’t you dare, for one second believe I no longer love you. I know I haven’t said it in a while nor have I done anything to reassure my love for you, but God y/n I love you more than I can even put in to words. You are by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think we got comfortable with not having to interact with each other just because we knew that the other one was always around. I love you so much y/n and I care about you more than anyone or anything else in this world. We’ve hit a bump in the road, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop this relationship. If I’m being honest, I thought you fell out of love with me and it’s such a heartbreaking feeling. You’re all my heart knows and ever wants to know baby.” 

He continued running his fingers through your hair in attempts to calm himself down. “All the cheating accusations, the unnecessary arguments, the distance, it all fucking sucks. I can see why you’d think I was cheating on you but I’m sure everyone and their mothers know how obsessed I am over you. There’s nobody else y/n. And there’s never going to be anybody else. And I’m sorry for trying to turn it against you, I know you’d never do such a thing, I was just mad. We used to talk about our future all the time and I was serious and I still am 100% serious about spending the rest of my life with you. I’m so fucking sorry baby. If I knew you were suffering, I would’ve done something about it. I’m sorry for being such a terrible boyfriend and for making you so sad, but this is not the end for us? Understand me? You’re stuck with me baby. We’re not broken, just bent and one day—maybe not right now, but we’ll be okay again. Our loves enough y/n. All I want and could ever need is you.” 

His lips were warm against yours and they were both chapped and tasted salty from the tears, but you didn’t care. You missed this. You missed him and although Mark was a man of very little words, his actions spoke for him. His hands made their way down to your ass and he lifted you all but gently on to his lap before deepening the kiss and bringing your bottom lip in between his teeth. Kissing him again after going months without his touch felt like your entire body was on fire. 

You knew you wouldn’t be able to handle having to go on any longer without feeling his hands on your body and his lips smashed against yours. Mark Tuan was your person. No matter how difficult your relationship seemed as of right now, you’d rather be going through a rough patch with him than to be happy with anybody else. You had to stifle back a laugh when you felt something hard against your thigh and you absentmindedly found yourself grinding on top of his erection. He seemed to understand exactly what you had in mind for the two of you and abruptly stood up, taking you with him back in to the apartment and roughly threw you on to the bed. 

“Before I fuck—I mean—before we make up for lost time and I make love to my pretty baby, I need you to know that I’m going to try harder okay? For us, for this relationship, for you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to notice you were no longer happy, but I promise I’m going to spend the rest of my life both showing you and telling you every single day just how much I love you. I’m not a mind reader y/n, I’m going to need you to tell me when you feel like things are getting bad. I should’ve already known things weren’t the same the minute we stopped having sex. Fuck, how did I go so long without fucking this pretty little pussy of yours? I hope you know you’re calling in sick tomorrow. I plan on rearranging your guts the entire morning. God, I love you so much baby. We’re going to be just fine.”

I'm sorry I don't understand Where all of this is coming from I thought that we were fine (Oh we had everything) Your head is running wild again My dear we still have everythin' And it's all in your mind (Yeah but this is happenin') You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh You used to lie so close to me oh oh There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love Oh our love, our loveJust give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again I never stop, you're still written in the scars on my heart You're not broken just bent and we can learn to love againOh tear ducts and rust I'll fix it for us We're collecting dust, but our love's enough You're holding it in You're pouring a drink No nothing is as bad as it seems We'll come cleanJust give me a reason just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts That we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

[wingsofkpop]

Hiraeth — I.II: Curosity Killed the Cat

pairing(s):  Hybrid!Im Jaebeom x Reader, Witch!Mark Tuan x Reader, Werewolf!Jackson Wang x Reader, Vampire!Park Jinyoung x Reader, Supernatural!Got7 x Reader

genre:  Supernatual!AU, Dark Magic!AU, Angst, slight Fluff, eventual Smut

warning(s): Mature language, descriptions of death and murder, mentions of blood, mentions of traumatic experiences, mention of reader having an anxiety attack, etc.

word count: 6,6k

synopsis: How far are you willing to go to find out the truth about Moon Dye Bay?…

chapter directory

“Jihyo, please just—OW!” Pain shoots like electricity through your limbs as your hip catches the railing of the stairwell while your ankle rolls dangerously along the edge of the top step. You cling to your roommate’s shoulders, trying to find balance in the midst of her steel-like grip to avoid inevitably breaking a bone… or your entire body.  

“Shit. Sorry, (Y/N).” Jihyo murmurs apologetically, hoisting your arm higher around her shoulders. You bite back a frustrated retort and instead, find the patience to allow your support to haul you toward your shared apartment’s door. There’s honestly no need for Jihyo’s help in scaling the stairways, seeing as somehow, after the incident in the alleyway, you were completely unscathed, but she insisted. And when Jihyo puts her mind to something, there’s no pulling her out. 

Jihyo kicks open the door after unlocking it, and tugs you forward with a proud grin, “Home sweet home. All in one piece.” 

“The bruise on my hips says otherwise,” You groan, breathing a sigh of relief when you finally escape her hold. “I think I’m more hurt than I was in the actual hospital.” 

“Hush, child.” Jihyo drags the warm jacket from your shoulders before bending down to undo the laces of your boots. You sigh, but make no complaint about her fussing—you’d only receive another long lecture anyway. After another minute or two, Jihyo finishes sliding off your boots and guides you into the living room. Your eyes meet the sight of Sana nestled inside the giant, olive beanbag cushion, and two unfamiliar girls settled on the sofa beside her. 

“Look who’s home!” Jihyo calls cheerfully, turning the three sets of eyes away from the Pretty Little Liars rerun playing on the TV screen and in your direction. In the blink of an eye, Sana leaps from her seat and throws herself against your body. You almost lose your balance from the force of impact, but manage to return her hug without fault. 

“I was so worried when Mark called us,” Sana’s arms tighten around your waist. “Don’t scare me like that again, okay?” 

“I’ll try,” You rub her back, “I’m okay, Sana.” 

“You should sit down, (Y/N).” You pull from your friend’s embrace to nod at Jihyo, accepting the spot on the sofa where one of the girls had given up for your benefit. You shoot her a grateful smile, receiving a shy one in return. 

“Oh, that’s right! (Y/N), Jihyo, this is Mina, and Momo—” Sana points to each girl with their respected names, “the friends from my high school in Japan I was telling you guys about. They’re visiting for a few weeks.” 

“Welcome to Moon Dye,” Jihyo nods politely. “Sorry about all this chaos right off the bat. (Y/N), here, managed to land herself in the hospital last night.”

“It’s a long story.” You chuckle, your cheeks growing hot at both Mina and Momo’s concerned stares. “But I’m perfectly fine. Good as new.” 

“What even happened, (Y/N)?” Sana asks curiously while lowering onto the arm of the couch beside you. You open your mouth to answer, but Jihyo’s voice emerges instead: 

“(Y/N)’s already had a rough enough night as it is. Let’s not put her on the spot.” Again, you try to protest your good health, but the girls had already moved to a new subject by the time you open your mouth. 

To be honest, you still don’t believe the story that you fell in that dark alley, hit your head and knocked yourself out—the one that everyone is shoving down your throat. Even Mark didn’t believe you when you tried to explain the details you remember from last night. His words were similar to the very ones that Jinyoung had said: ‘You hit your head, (Y/N). Your memory is probably all sorts of fucked up.’ 

But he’s wrong. Jinyoung is wrong. Everyone else is wrong. You know you were attacked, and maybe you don’t know what it was, but someone—something tried to kill you. And it was pretty damn close… but that just begs another question: How the hell did you survive and come out with not even a scratch? 

“—was just so sudden. I just couldn’t believe it when I heard the news.” You return to reality just in time to see Jihyo shake her head, a pained expression written across her round face. “I mean, how does something like that just happen? You know?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Four pairs of eyes turn at your voice as Sana answers, “Im Nayeon was found dead in Eclipse Cemetery. My mom said she was killed by an animal.” You heard Mark mention Nayeon’s name a few times in past conversations, but had never spoken to the woman herself. She works in a tiny shop in Poison Square, Moon Dye Bay’s most infamous shopping complex, reading tarot cards and giving fortunes—she worked there, that is. Still, Mark and Nayeon were friends, so he must have known. Is that why he broke down at the hospital? But why wouldn’t he tell you? 

Your eyebrows furrow, “An animal? How is that possible?” 

“What goes around, comes around.” You perk up as one of Sana’s friends, Momo, you believe, speaks up for the first time. She returns your glance with a blank stare, which sends a violent chill up your spine, “It happens to the best of us.” 

“How can you say that?” You scoff, “A girl is dead—” 

“I’m so sorry,” The other friend, the one who relinquished her seat, Mina steps in this time, “My sister can be a little intense sometimes. She didn’t mean it in a condescending way.” 

“You’re sisters?” 

Mina shrugs, “Fostered, actually. We’ve kind of just… stuck together.” 

You nod, “I get it. I was a foster kid too.” Mina nods too, but doesn’t say anything in response. As she’s turning back to the surrounding trio, your eyes catch sight of a shiny, gold necklace tucked into the collar of her shirt. You can’t see the charm on the end, but just by the chain, it looked ancient. Probably a family heirloom of some sorts. 

Your mind returns back to Nayeon before wandering to your own attacker. At the connection, your blood runs cold. Is it possible that whatever monster that attempted to take your life had succeeded in ensnaring Nayeon’s instead? It may explain the reluctance toward your true story, and the attacker’s animal-like behavior… but what of your miraculous recovery? And what does Jinyoung have to do with any of this? 

Something is going on in Moon Dye Bye… and you’re going to find out what. 

“By the way, Momo, I love your tattoo.” You barely catch Jihyo’s comment as you rise from the sofa and begin to make your way toward your bedroom. You hadn’t gotten much sleep at the hospital, partly because of Mark, and partly because you just couldn’t find the will to close your eyes. To be honest, you don’t even know if you’ll be able to catch sleep in your own bed any better. Too lost in your own exhaustion, you don’t catch Sana’s laugh just as you’re shutting your bedroom door: 

“Momo doesn’t have a tattoo, Ji! Are you sure you’re not the one who hit her head!?” 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

The fogginess of his dreamworld fades as Mark gradually begins to awaken from his slumber. He parts his eyelids, only to immediately shut them with an annoyed hiss as a ray of sunlight stabs into his sensitive pupils. To escape the day’s wrath, he rolls to his opposite side and away from the lone window, reminding himself to invest in a set of curtains in the near future. 

Mark forces his upper body upward on the sofa. He groans, the movement placing a strain on his back, and lifts his arms over his head to alleviate the knots of his muscles. With a sigh, Mark wipes the remnants of a poor night’s sleep from his face before glancing back to the window. Judging by the brightness of the sun, he must have slept through the entire morning and early afternoon. 

Mark sighs again, recalling the gruesome nightmares that plagued his slumber: Nayeon’s loud screams stabbing into his soul as an unfamiliar shadow drove a large knife into her immobile body over and over again until he could feel her blood splattering all across his skin. Then, in the midst of his terror, Nayeon’s face would shift to yours… and he could do nothing but watch as the monster stole the life from your eyes… 

He pushes the thought away, suddenly nauseous, and rises from the sofa, heading toward the small kitchenette in the corner to start up a pot of coffee. As he passes the window, Mark notices a couple figures congregating around an array of chipped, ancient headstones. At first, Mark believes them to be the forensic cleaners finishing up the removal of the crime scene, but he catches the sight of the back of Youngjae’s head… and someone he definitely does not want to see. 

“God fucking damnit—” He curses to himself, abandoning his coffee and stomping outside with the beginnings of a sneer pulling across his face. At the call of his name, both Youngjae and his companion turn to face Mark just as he reaches their meeting place, “What the hell is he doing here!?” 

“I’m sorry, hyung… I thought it’d be better if I didn’t tell you about this…” Mark glares at the younger who seems to shudder beneath its intensity. Youngjae looks down guiltily, before silently mumbling something to himself. 

“Don’t be upset with him,” At the voice, Mark shifts his angry gaze to the vampire. “I came on my own accord. I want to make a proposition.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding, right? Why would we ever want to make a deal with you?” 

“Because I can help you find out who killed your seer.” Jinyoung replies coolly, reaching inside the pocket of his casual, navy blazer to pull out a pocket-sized, leather-bound book with cream colored pages. He offers it to Mark, “This is an old journal that belonged to a powerful witch who was a descendant in a long line of Pagan Witchcraft. It contains thousands of ancient scriptures and symbols dating back to the first century.” 

Mark snatches the book and immediately begins to flip through it. None of the text encrypted along the pages are anything he’d ever seen before, likely being written in a different language. He allows the cover to shut and passes it to Youngjae before narrowing his eyes at Jinyoung, “How did you know we were looking for an old symbol?”  

“I have contacts at the morgue, so I paid her body a visit myself.” Mark bites back a frustrated slur and wills himself to let the vampire finish, “In all the centuries I’ve been alive, I have only seen a symbol like that once—in dark magic.” The loathing Mark feels for Jinyoung completely vanishes at the mention of the dark arts, shifting back into the nausea from before. “I believe whoever killed your seer drew power from something, be it a spell or an object, in order to gain enough strength to overpower her, which means—” 

“Whatever doing this is supernatural.” Youngjae finishes with a grimace, “They must have used dark magic to strip her of her powers before she was killed. I couldn’t trace any magic use from her body.” 

“She’s not the first.” Again, Jinyoung retracts a set of papers from his jacket and hands them to Mark, “I’ve traced hundreds of unexplained deaths in dozens of towns. Each witch had that same symbol carved into their chest.” 

“They’re specifically targeting covens— ” Mark breathes, glancing over the provided documents, “Slaughtering them and… fucking hell.” 

Jinyoung nods, “You and your people need to be careful. Whoever is doing this will try to kill again.” Mark hesitates for a moment before mindlessly closing his hand into a fist, crushing the papers in his grasp. He resumes his glare at the vampire. 

“What’s in it for you? Why are you helping us?” 

Jinyoung’s eyes soften, “This town has already seen enough death. I don’t wish for it to see anymore.” 

Jinyoung’s response delivers a harsh punch to Mark’s gut, leaving him almost breathless. Unwanted memories rush into his head like a parasite—the guilt he had pushed down so long ago beginning to eat away at his soul. Too lost inside his own head, Mark remains silent as Jinyoung and Youngjae exchange a couple final words, before the former gestures toward the book in the younger’s hands.

“I have places to be, but let me know if you manage to find the symbol. I’ll see if I can find more information about the murdered covens.” The vampire offers a nod of farewell and turns to leave, but surprising himself, Mark snaps from his headspace and calls out:

“Jinyoung…!” 

Jinyoung halts to peer over his shoulder, “Yes?” Mark hesitates again, somewhere in between what seems to be long-harbored resentment and mental exhaustion. His eyes glance toward the gravel pathway meters away where Nayeon’s corpse had laid only hours ago, until his mind shifts to thoughts about you: The warmth of your arms… The genuine promise of your voice… The gleam of your eyes… All of his anger immediately dissipates. 

He nods, “I don’t want anyone else to die either.” Jinyoung merely blinks in response before continuing his journey toward the exit of the cemetery. Mark watches his silhouette fade into the glare of the afternoon sun with the documents still tightly grasped in his palms. Only once the vampire is out of sight does he release a sigh and face his younger companion: 

“Call Minho, Jisung and Lia, and get them all here.” Mark combs a hand through his hair with a huff, “No one leaves my sight until we catch this fucker and put them so far underground, they won’t be able to climb back up from Hell.” 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

Splashes of water splatter across your ankles and wet the bottom of your jeans as you sprint through a massive array of puddles. Although it does little to protect your body from the pouring rain, you tug your jacket tighter around your shoulders. The one evening you choose to take a spur-of-the-moment book run to escape your overdramatic and overbearing roommates, it has to be raining cats and dogs. Luckily, the town’s only bookstore is not too far from your apartment. 

You manage to reach the shop just as the wind begins to pick up and hurriedly push past the door. A sigh falls past your lips, briefly pausing to relish the warm, rain-free atmosphere before receding further into the store. Ever since you moved to Moon Dye, the Bookshop of Lullabies has become one of few places you frequent often. It’s a quaint, little place stuffed from top to bottom with texts of all kinds, and barely enough space for a single person to squeeze through the aisles. If you travel deep enough through the maze of shelves, there’s a tiny nook complete with a window seat and throw cushions softer than a bed of silk—you like to spend a lot of your time cuddled up there with a nice book.  

“Look who finally decided to show up and cure my boredom. Good thing—I was just thinking about chewing my arm off.” Unsurprised, you turn to find a familiar face behind the cashier counter. One that, like the store itself, you have seen quite often. 

You first met Bambam through Mark—the two were friends in high school—at a dinner event his mother, the mayor of Moon Dye, held for his birthday. Aside from the occasional rich kid personality quirks, you’ve found Bambam to be quite a humble and reliable person, especially in providing you discounted books and helpful tips for living in town. 

“Hello to you too, Bam.” You smile. “How are things?” 

Bambam shrugs, “Slow day, and the rain really doesn’t help. Anyway, what are you looking for today? Maybe an edgy dystopian with way too much backstory? Or a sickeningly sweet love story where the simp dies? ” 

“I'll honestly take anything you deem acceptable at this point.” 

“You’re giving me way too much trust there, babygirl.” He chuckles, pilfering through a nearby box of books in order to gratify your request. “Mark told me you had a pretty rough spill last night. You okay?” 

“To be completely honest—not really.” You traipse over to the counter and lay your bag across its surface. Bambam moves aside some books to make room before offering a nearby stool for you to sit, “I just, I’m still confused on what happened.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Everybody says I fell and hit my head, but I don’t think that’s what happened—no—” You shake your head, “I know that’s not what happened, but it’s like everyone is just, I don’t know… hiding something.” Through the corner of your eye, you notice how Bambam’s shoulders tense at your comment, but brush it off as an odd tick. “But I guess what I don’t understand is why they’d want to… I mean, Mark would never keep something that important from me…” Once again, the clerk’s body fidgets uncomfortably—this time, furthering the suspicion brewing in your gut.

Your eyes narrow, “Bam… Do you know something that I don’t?” 

He seems to hesitate, running a hand through his tousled ivory-dyed tresses before peering toward the door, as if expecting someone else to enter. You open your mouth to pry, but Bambam’s answer beats you to it, “There’s a lot of things I know that you don’t…” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean—?” 

“It means that this town has secrets…” The abrupt change in his tone increases the uneasiness in your stomach, temporarily changing your frustrated mood to one of fear. A violent shiver crawls down your spine at his next words, “...secrets that can get you killed.”

“What secrets?” Your annoyance returns at his ambiguous response, “What does this have to do with what happened to me last night?” 

“Well, you were attacked, weren’t you?” 

Your blood turns cold. “How the fuck do you know that?” 

“I told you, I know a lot of things.” He releases a sigh before bending down to disappear behind the wood of the counter. He returns only seconds later with a seemingly old, leather-bound book clutched in both hands. You watch, wide-eyed like a fish, as he slides the object toward you. 

“This journal belonged to my great-, great-, great-grandmother, the first ever mayor of Moon Dye Bay.” Bambam begins, watching closely as you cautiously grab the text as if it would turn to dust in your grasp. “It contains private information about the town you won’t find anywhere else.” 

“And you’re just giving it to me?” 

“I’m pointing you in the right direction.” He states matter-of-factly, “If you live in this town, you should know what you’re up against.” 

“Why can’t you just tell me?” 

“Because if anyone were to find out, it would be dangerous for the both of us.” 

“But why—?”

“Please just trust me on this, (Y/N).”  You can do nothing but stare at Bambam, your thoughts too much of a jumbled, chaotic mess to come up with another reply. You want to insist—you want to insist over and over again until the clerk eventually spills—but you know it’s hopeless. There are few moments where Bambam is ever this serious, so whatever mess you managed to get yourself into—it’s crucial. 

You finally nod after another eon of silence and tuck the old journal inside your bag, “How much?”

“Consider it a six-month late welcome-to-town gift.” Bambam’s poor attempt at humor does little to lift your spirits, but you still scrounge up a weak smile and an even weaker thank you. As you make your way toward the exit, you can feel his eyes burning into the back of your head, and for once in a lifetime, you can’t wait to head out into the pouring rain. Just as you’re pushing through the door, Bambam calls out: 

“Hey, babygirl?”  

You turn with a sigh, “What is it, Bam?” 

“Just be careful, okay?” He murmurs heavily, “Those monsters that used to hide under our beds when we were kids, well… They grew up too.” You don’t bother to answer, send the clerk a parting nod and take off into the blurriness outside the bookstore. Your lungs welcome the damp air, attempting to soothe the racing of your heart with each breath. Even though you’re all wrapped up in your coat, your hands still tremble.

If what Bambam said is true, and this town is hiding something, and you eventually do find out what that something is, then how badly will it change your life? You moved to Moon Dye Bay to escape the traumas of your past… not to create new demons that will haunt your mind day and night. It’s been so long since you’ve felt what it feels like to belong somewhere, but then… Do you really want a place full of darkness, secrets and lies as a home? 

You quickly dash across the street, barely avoiding an approaching car driving way over the given speed limit. The rain only makes the atmosphere more ominous, both obscuring your vision and deafening your ears. Images from last night pop into your head which fuels the hurriedness of your pace. You can’t seem to control your breathing, or the anxiety swallowing your form. 

What if that monster was following you as you think? Is he aching to finish the job he failed to last night, and take your life as his prize? What if there’s no miracle there to save you this time? What if you die in a wet, dark alleyway where nothing but the rats can—?  

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” You hadn’t realized somewhere in your rush you’d paused to rest against the building, awakening from your panicked trance at the warm voice that invades your ears like honey. You quickly compose yourself, shove your now vibrating hands in the pocket of your coat, and turn to face the familiar face with a confused expression. 

“Jinyoung? Are you following me?” 

“Where would you get an idea like that?” Jinyoung hurriedly pulls you underneath the awning of a shop and out of the rain. “I just left the police station and saw you out here by yourself. You seem… stressed.” 

“Aside from wet socks, I’m alright.” You shake your head, “Why were you at the police station?” 

“I had some business to take care of,” He answers, obviously not desiring to provide any more details to satiate your curiosity. “Anyway, what brings you out in this weather?” 

“Honestly, I just needed to escape from my crazy, overbearing roommates.” You shake the rain from your hair with a chuckle, “Just left the bookstore actually.” 

“I didn’t take you for the bookworm type.” 

“What? Just because I don’t exude the ‘shy, silent, glasses-wearing’ stereotype?” 

Jinyoung chuckles at your comeback, the sound gritty and amused, before placing a hand over his chest, “My apologies. I didn’t mean to offend you.” 

“Well, choose your words more carefully then.” 

He nods with a smile, “I’ll definitely do that.” The raindrops pelting against the top of the awning creates a comfortable rhythm as you and Jinyoung fall into a heavy silence. Jinyoung continues to wear his tight, close-lipped smile while you continue to stare, not knowing whether to comment on his odd talent in appearing out of nowhere or reminisce in the storminess of his brown irises. You choose neither, and opt to end the conversation where it is: 

“It was really nice to see you again, but I should get back before the weather turns into a full-blown hurricane.” 

“That would probably be best,” Jinyoung steps aside, allowing you the room to pass by, and hums, “It’s always a pleasure, (Y/N).” You shoot him a grateful smile before launching back into the raging of the storm, immediately missing his uniquely charming aura and caramel-like gaze. Just from the interaction with Jinyoung, both your mind and body feel much more relaxed and in a way… almost safe. 

Too deep in your own thoughts, you fail to catch the second shadow that slinks out of a nearby alleyway and behind Jinyoung’s broad body.

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“Have you lost your goddamn mind!?” Mark pinches the bridge of his nose at the high-pitched wail of the fuming, dark-haired witch, suddenly craving a drink to take the edge off of his nerves. Maybe they have some leftover grey goose in the cupboard— “You must have, cause you just made a deal with the fucking devil!” 

“Can you at least try not to yell?” From the center of a nearby ring of burning candles and sage on the floor, Lia sighs in annoyance, “I’m pretty sure the entire town can hear you at this point.” 

“Shut up!” Minho hisses at the female, before replacing his laser-like glare back on Mark. “I mean, you do understand how utterly stupid this entire thing is, right!? Things suddenly turn to shit and you run to those bloodsucking bastards for help!?” 

“He gave us a book, Minho. It’s not like I signed our souls away.” 

He scoffs, “You might as well have! Didn’t it ever occur to you that the Primes just want an opportunity to pick us off like flies? I mean, how do we know they weren’t the ones that killed Nayeon?”

“Youngjae’s tracking spell would have picked up their trail.” Mark sluggishly walks toward the stove, retrieving the whistling kettle before its volume reaches that of a shrill scream. He sighs and generously refills his coffee cup, “And you know very well that if they wanted us dead, we would have been in the ground months ago.” 

“You’re not listening to me!” Mark takes a sip of the steaming stimulant, the liquid doing nothing to ease the pounding of his head as Minho continues to rant, “We are all going to end up dead! We should have run them out of town when we had the opportunity in the first place—” 

“Oh my fucking god! Can you shut your mouth for a goddamn second!?” Lia’s anger sends chaos throughout the mausoleum. Jisung barely avoids a barrage of books spilling from their shelves while Youngjae ducks in time for a potted plant to fly over his head and shatter against the wall. Lia storms across the room, a trail of hot flames following her steps, and pokes a single finger into Minho’s chest with a sneer, “Nayeon-unnie is dead, okay!? And there is a psycho out there right now with their eyes on another witch in this room!? Mark is doing the best he can so it’s not your moronic ass that’s next on the hit list!” 

Minho remains silent, visibly surprised by the younger witch’s outburst. For a moment, Mark notices a spark of guilt behind his eyes before they shift to their usual cold exterior. 

“I don’t want anyone else to die, okay? But making a truce with one of the oldest vampires in existence is not a good plan—” 

“Well, it’s the only plan we have right now.” Mark sighs, “I do what’s best for my people—to keep you safe.” 

Minho stares coldly at Mark, “Yeah, just like you kept Jackson safe. Right?” 

Stunned by the witch’s sudden question, Mark is both physically and mentally unable to respond. He simply stares back at Minho with his jaw practically dropped to the floor. Minho shamelessly meets his eyes, as if finding joy out of Mark’s shock. 

“Hey, guys…” The brief moment of tension breaks at Youngjae’s call, who all this time, had been stationed behind the lectern flipping through the journal Jinyoung had gifted only hours ago. Mark feels the many cups of coffee sitting in his stomach churn at the absolute terror spread along Youngjae’s face. Though at his next words, Mark almost believes his entire insides turn inside-out,  “I found the symbol that was on Nayeon’s body…

“It means ‘Hunter’.” 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

Jinyoung watches your silhouette recede into the blur of the rain with a smile. His mind reels back to your conversation, and how prettily your eyes shimmered in the mist. If it were any other person, Jinyoung wouldn’t care much for the spitfire-type of attitude, but with you… He actually enjoys your ferocious nature. It showcases your livelihood—and mortal strength. 

Jinyoung had planned to keep his word to Mark and steer clear, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when he spotted you standing in the midst of the storm. Something inside him is drawn to you, almost like a moth to a flame. It excites him, but startles him all the same. Never before has Jinyoung felt such a magnetic pull to another person—certainly not a human woman. Though, the rational voice in the back of his head still believes some part of you is not all that mortal… 

A wave of chill dampens the cheeriness of his mood, pulling a sigh of annoyance from his lips. He doesn’t have to turn around to feel the stealthy presence behind him. With one last glance toward the direction in which you vanished, and another huff, Jinyoung tugs on the lapels of his blazer and speaks: 

“Following me again, hyung?” 

A deep-set chuckle carries into Jinyoung’s ears, “In all our centuries together, I’ve never quite succeeded in getting anything past you… huh, Jinyoungie?” Jinyoung turns to face his brother, immediately growing more annoyed at his usual, nonchalant stance complete with lazily crossed arms, tilted head and a devious smirk along his lips. “Though, if I knew any better, I’d believe you’re not exactly thrilled to see me?” 

“Well, do you know any better?” 

Jaebeom laughs, “You’re still upset with me. What else is new.” 

“Forgive me if I’m not jumping through the roof because of your erratic behavior.” Jinyoung shoots his brother a glare before shoving his right hand in the respected pocket of his jeans. “Nine bodies all drained of blood, hyung. Do you not understand the concept of remaining inconspicuous?” 

“What can I say? I was rather famished last night.” 

Jinyoung stares at Jaebeom with a blank expression, “Does human life mean that little to you? Truly?” 

Jaebeom releases a heavy sigh, pushes off the brick wall in which he was leaning against, and takes a couple steps forward until he and Jinyoung are only inches from sharing oxygen. He provides his younger brother another smirk and shrugs, “There was a time we used to share the same perspective, brother. And if I remember correctly, you were much, much worse than I am.” 

“That is in the past.” 

“Ah. Of course.” Jaebeom retracts a silver-coated lighter from the pocket of his black, shredded jeans. Jinyoung watches the older play with the tool, repeatedly striking the light over and over again as he continues, “So… Are you going to tell your dear brother about the lovely girl that’s caught your eye?” 

Jinyoung’s patience immediately gives out at your mention. His features pull into a sneer, glaring at the amusement spreading along Jaebeom’s face. 

“Leave it alone.” 

“You do like her then?” Jaebeom’s smirk widens to a grin, “Wow. I’d never thought I’d live to see the day Park Jinyoung falls for a human.” Jinyoung tries to keep his self-control intact as Jaebeom proceeds to laugh, lifting the flame of the lighter up to the level of his eyes—malice visibly flickering in the light of his irises. “She must be very, very special…” 

Jinyoung growls, “I said, leave it alone. I’m not playing your games now, hyung.” 

“I only want to know what sweet (Y/N) has done to gain my little brother’s attention. Maybe it’s her spunk? Or her beautiful face? Or just maybe, the delectable taste of her delicious blo—” In the blink of an eye, Jinyoung has Jaebeom pressed against the same wall he was leaning against only moments before with an arm at his throat. Jinyoung can actually see his own rage in the reflection of Jaebeom’s black eyes. 

“You will stay away from her.” Jinyoung murmurs dangerously, relishing proudly in Jaebeom’s stunned expression. “Do not push me on this. Or I will push back.” Jinyoung releases his hold on his brother, pausing to straighten out the wrinkles of his blazer. Jaebeom continues to stare at the younger with bewilderment, unable to say anything in response. 

An annoyed breath leaves Jinyoung’s lips as he peers down at his watch, “I’m late. We will discuss this when I return back to the manor.” He shoots Jaebeom a pointed glance, “Please refrain from getting yourself into any more trouble. If you even can.” Without as much as a goodbye, Jinyoung brushes past Jaebeom and into the rain that’s coming down even heavier. He tries not to think about the paranoia and fear budding in his gut and instead focus the soaked path ahead, but even his own mind betrays him. 

Jinyoung knows Jaebeom. He’s known him for almost a millennium. He knows that if he makes one wrong move, Jaebeom won’t hesitate to retaliate against him—retaliate by using you. Jinyoung shakes his head with a sigh, savoring the chill of the rain against his body. If it comes down to it, he won’t hesitate to to protect you from his brother in any way he has to… 

He should have kept his word, and stayed away. 

 ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“You sure you don’t need anything else? Water? Another blanket? Some ramen?” You roll your eyes at your roommate’s barrage of questions, unable to help the soft smile that lifts to your lips. As smothering and irritating as Jihyo’s overprotectiveness can be, it’s nice to have someone looking out for your well being—even though she can be a helicopter mom sometimes. 

“It’s not like I’m paralyzed, Ji.” You reach forward to take her hand into your own, “I’m okay.” 

Jihyo squeezes your fingers, “I just… worry about you, you know? You’ve been through a lot.” Though she doesn’t specify, you know for a fact that she isn’t talking about the hospital visit. Your heart aches for as long you allow it to, before pushing the unwanted feelings away. You playfully nudge her shoulder with a chuckle. 

“You worry about everything. Now seriously, clear out.” Jihyo follows your lead to your bedroom door, staying still to allow you to check up on her hair and makeup. When you deem her appearance to be nothing less than perfect, you nod, “Sana won’t let either of us hear the end of it if at least one of us doesn’t go clubbing with her, Momo and Mina.” 

“What will you do, tonight?” 

“I have some stuff to finish for the university. Or I’ll just binge-watch some Sex and the City.” Jihyo accepts your answer, lifting her arms to bring your body into a short, tight hug. When she pulls away, you send her a wink, “Try not to get too trashed, alright? I really don’t want to be picking your drunk ass up at three in the morning.” 

“No promises,” She hums. “Thanks, (Y/N).” 

“Go have fun, gorgeous.” You give Jihyo a thumbs up as she steps from your bedroom. No sooner does Sana pounce on your roommate, and in a matter of seconds, drags her toward the exit with Mina and Momo not far behind. You wait through the girlish giggles and chatter until the slam of the front door carries from the front hallway—you’re finally alone. 

You quickly shut your door, making sure to turn the lock, and hop over to the tiny desk you somehow squeezed in the corner. When you moved in with Sana and Jihyo, they had to convert a storage closet into a bedroom since the apartment only came with one small master, now Sana’s space, and an even smaller office, where Jihyo resides. So your room is basically a shoebox with a single window and enough room for a bed, clothing chest, and a desk and bookshelf set. Even so, you’ve managed to spruce the place up with frilly rugs, decorative succulents and some cheap fairy lights, 

After yanking the curtains above your bed closed and double-checking the door, you retract the journal Bambam had given you from where you hid it earlier underneath your pillow. The leather is shockingly cool against your palm, almost searing into your flesh. Whether it’s the nerves or the excitement that’s making your pulse beat like a racehorse, you’re not so sure. But to be honest, it doesn’t matter to you… not as much as the truth that awaits. You settle back into your desk chair and open to the first page. 

There’s a name scrawled on the inside of the cover in a handwritten font you’ve only seen in historical documents and creative poetry projects. You recognize Bambam’s last name, Bhuwakul. The next page holds a diary entry in the same handwriting, dating back to 1770. Not desiring to wait any longer, you begin to read the entry: 

Day 1 — I have been traveling day and night for many months. My long journey has been filled with hardship, starvation and exhaustion. But my efforts have finally paid off. On a night when the moon was full and bright, I stumbled across a small village only miles from the edge of the sea. The townspeople welcomed me and my brother into their borders. Fed us. Clothed us. And even offered us a home to where we could reside as long as we wished. I believe we will stay here in Moon Dye Bay. For good. 

You flip through the rest of the pages, delving into the story of Bambam’s great-, great-, great-grandmother and her new life on the bay—how she bettered the town and its inhabitants, soon earning her title as the first ever mayor. You find yourself immersed in the personal account of her life, relating to her worries, wants, and wishes. Somewhere in the story, you completely forgot about Bambam’s warning… until you reach an entry that makes your skin crawl: 

Day 196 — There’s a murderer in town. We’ve lost eleven of our people. Three men. Seven women. And one child. I believe this person, no—this monster enjoys it. This monster enjoys draining the blood from their victims like rum, and tearing open their throats like a child opens a gift. This monster enjoys hearing them scream for mercy—watching the fear in their eyes blossom like flowers. But mostly, I believe this monster enjoys the hunt. I spoke to the Wang faction the other night, and some of the ladies said they felt as if they are being watched at night, when they are alone—as if the monster is lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right chance to kill. 

The passage reminds you heavily of what happened last night. Your attacker had done everything in which Bhuwakul described, even the part about tearing your throat open. You don’t bother to acknowledge the spinning of your head and instead, mindlessly flip through the journal. Your lack of attention no longer allows you to fully read the entries, only skim—until you reach another that catches your eye:   

Day 209 — It’s unlike anything I could ever imagine… This pain—this grief… My brother is dead and it’s because of those murderers… Because of those demons… We’ve all been blinded by their charms… but no more… I will expose them to the villagers for what they truly are… so no one else can be victimized by their deceit… 

You almost faint as you read the next sentence that follows: 

—Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebeom are vampires. And they’re coming to kill me next.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X5

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’m going to go right ahead and say it. This episode felt like a PSA to me, but it was well done. It was emotional and impactful and the storyline about Bailey’s Mom made me tear up, but at the same time the episode felt very stagnant and I feel like the lives of the other characters didn’t really move forward or go anywhere. It felt like they were all standing still. I liked the conversations between Jackson and Richard and Bailey and Maggie about how COVID has impacted black and brown people more than other races and how unfair that is and how politicians and decision makers need to pay more attention to that.

I loved the conversation between Bailey and Maggie. I liked that they addressed what happened with Maggie’s Mom because that storyline bothered the heck out of me. Maggie treated Meredith and everyone else horribly when all they did was try and help and then she forced her mother to undergo treatments she didn’t want because Maggie couldn’t handle the fact that she was dying and then they just dropped it. I’m glad to see that make a comeback and that Maggie has recognized that what she did and the way she behaved was wrong and is now using that experience to help others.

I loved their comments about guidance counsellors and others assume black people aren’t as bright or as capable as white folks and how insidious that is. It’s not something I’ve experienced myself as a white person, but I’m glad they’re highlighting it. This episode was written by Zoanne Clack who is a black woman and a former E.R. Physician. The previous episode was written by Julie Wong who is an Asian woman and I think it’s great they are utilizing the talent that they have so that people of colour can share their stories and their experiences on a global scale. 

By telling these stories through the lives of characters we know and love and can empathize with it allows people who will never have these experiences understand a little bit more. Representation is important and this show has always done a really good job in my opinion of highlighting important topics and social issues in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. These characters are fictional, but their stories are taken from the lives of real people and I think an important step in the process of creating a better fairer world is creating media that reflects people’s realities in order to cultivate empathy so that people who might not otherwise understand or get it have a window into that experience.

Maybe it changes their mind. Maybe it doesn’t. But the point is that it opens people’s minds to the possibility of seeing a side that they didn’t before and that is half the battle when trying to get people to understand someone else’s experience or point of view. I’m going to be seeing my family this holiday season virtually and in small groups from a safe distance. As is the case for many visiting with relatives over the holidays means having to listen to a lot of ignorant opinions, frustrating statements, and in some cases racial slurs and inappropriate remarks. 

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to handle that this year because my tolerance for that crap has gone out the window. All this to say it’s nice to see good people fighting the good fight to get these stories out there to a global audience so that maybe some people will get it and maybe some good will come of it. And even if it doesn’t seeing characters and stories that represent you on screen is powerful and moving and wonderful and we all deserve that. I teared up watching Bailey suffer with the deterioration and death of her Mom.

The end scene where Bailey describes the patients she’s lost to COVID in the voice over while her and Richard sing ‘My Girl’ to give her Mom that moment of peace and a death with dignity got me. It really put a face on the disease. Watching her and her Dad struggle with it was so hard. I loved Bailey’s voice over where she shared info about the COVID patients she’d lost so far and who they were not just their disease. That was well done. Made me tear up.

I loved the talk between Meredith and Bailey at the hospital and on the beach. This episode wasn’t as shocking as the previous ones, but it was still good. I’m glad Meredith is getting better. I will miss the beach, but I’m excited to see her wake up, get better, and hopefully spend some time with Hayes. Which brings me to my chief complaint with this episode which is where the heck was Hayes?!?! This is the second episode he’s been absent from for no discernable reason and no explanation has been given as to where he is.

I did not sign up for this. A big part of the joy I felt when they announced that he was being upped to a main character was the implication that he was going to be given his own storylines and character development outside of Meredith and his relationships with Abigail, Liam, and Austin. But Hayes being absent when Meredith’s not awake robs of him that. Don’t get me wrong. I love Meredith and Hayes together and all I want is for them to be together and live happily ever after.

But, Hayes has such a rich and interesting backstory and there’s so much to explore there. Richard Flood who plays him brings such a wonderful depth to the character and he deserves to have his own story apart from Meredith and I really want to see him interact with the other characters more. We’ve seen him interact significantly with Jo and Bailey, but I’d love to see him interact with Maggie, Amelia, Jackson, and Owen more. His absence this episode reminds me of the episode after the Conference Episode last season where he was suddenly missing for no reason and they didn’t explain where he was.

I’m confused because he was upped to a main character just before this season started so he should be in every episode or almost every episode like the other characters are. I’m starting to get concerned that the actor who plays him has fallen ill or tested positive for COVID-19 or that he’s dealing with some kind of family emergency and so they had to cut him out of the episode last minute. I hope I’m wrong, but I honestly can’t think of another reason the actor would be missing for upwards of 2 to 4 weeks when these episodes were filmed.

I can’t see his absence being a story choice because it doesn’t make any sense and they haven’t addressed it on screen as they usually do when an actor has departed or needs time off and they have time to write that in. He also doesn't appear to be in the promo for next week’s episode which is strange considering it shows another meeting being held by Richard where some of the other department heads can be seen and we get shots of most of the other characters. After the Premiere aired he appeared in the promo for Episode 3 standing outside Meredith’s window and in that episode we saw them have a heart to heart that I thought was really beautiful and lovely.

At this point it’s unclear if Meredith even knows that Hayes is the one that found her and got her help and is distraught over her condition. He’s the head of Peds which is a pretty important department. Where the heck is he? They can gladly write off other characters in the second half of the season to give him more screen time in my opinion. I really hope the actor and his family are okay.  I’d also hate for his sudden absence to wreck Meredith’s storyline.

I love their friendship and flirtations and I’d hate to see her wind up alone or with someone that clearly isn’t right for her and that she doesn’t really love because something unexpected happened with the actor. I really really hope he’s in the mid-season finale next week! Jo suddenly declaring that she wants to quit general surgery to become an OBGYN came out of nowhere and makes no sense to me.

She spent years being with and then married to the Head of Pediatric Surgery and was decidedly lukewarm on the idea of having kids or even being near them. So her and Alex split and in the wake of that she randomly decides she wants to be an OBGYN and deliver babies? What the heck? I’m also confused because I feel like Hayes should have been there because it was a Peds case and he wasn’t and if Jo wants to re-specialize it would make sense for her to talk to Carina or Hayes.

Carina’s a main character on Station 19 and is still reoccurring on Grey’s so she can talk to her for an episode or two, but anymore than that and I think that would fall under Hayes perview because he’s a main character. But he’s currently MIA and we don’t know why. I did love Jo’s scenes with Levi though. They’re always hilarious and I think they bounce off of each other really well. I’m glad that Tom improved and apparently isn’t dying.

I like him with Teddy and I hope they get back together at some point. I’m glad they are choosing to be friends again. More than anything I want Teddy to pick a lane here. Owen or Tom. Pick one and go with it. Stop flip flopping all over the place like a fish out of water. Teddy’s a hot mess these days. I liked Amelia’s speech to Teddy. She has feelings about what Teddy did and didn’t do, but as she says she herself has done horrible things, some of them involving Owen, so she’s not in any place to judge, but she also doesn’t want to be friends with Teddy or really talk to her. And that’s fair. I have to say I love Amelia post-tumour. She’s great.

Also what happened to Casey Parker the resident from last season who was transgender and former military? I really liked him! Where did he go? I’d much rather see him that DeLuca or Nico on screen. Based on what I caught of next week’s promo it looks the COVID situation at Grey Sloan is about to get worse. We see Richard addressing staff in the cafeteria saying that they need to prepare for a surge of patients and that their patient load could double. We’re in May in the current Grey’s timeline so that fits.

It’s apparently also a cross over. I don’t want another cross over. I want to know where the hell Hayes is! And it looks like Amelia is back in the OR and the doctors are treating two teenagers who were kidnapped and held captive. Yikes! And we see Meredith smiling at someone on the beach before suddenly waking up. My guess is that it’s Derek and we are finally going to get to see them embrace and then Meredith is going to return to the land of the living. And hopefully interact with Hayes.

Until next time!

[doc-pickles]

i put a spell on you (because you’re mine)

story time: when i wrote my smut for taylor swift week i told lay aka @odd-birds-and-booksellers that i would never ever write it again and she insisted i would. it physically pains me to say this but she was right...

i wrote soulmate au smut and i’m not ashamed of it. well maybe a little. mostly i’m ashamed that this bad boy is what i put the most work into for our whole challenge. anyways enjoy.

tw// sexual content. that’s the whole fic. 

Jo knows how silly she sounds, to hope that someone out there might be her soulmate, but there’s still a small part of her filled with hope that the tall tales people tell are somehow true.

  As a doctor, Jo had taken more than her fair share of classes on anatomy and human sexuality, each one highlighting the fact that while soulmates haven’t been scientifically proven, there’s evidence to suggest otherwise. She feels almost childish buying into the belief that there’s someone out there that’s another half of her, she’s a scientist at heart and doesn’t let herself believe in such foolish ideas. However, she’d worked cases in her med school clinic and even in the Grey Sloan ER where people were overwhelmed with burning desire to… well you know. 

  Jo thinks she was in middle school when she’d first heard the whispers, that if you found your soulmate there was a way to know for sure that they were it. Your first touch, no matter how minute, would send you and your soulmate spinning with the desire to consummate your relationship. It was probably the craziest thing she’d ever heard of, but it crossed her mind every once in a while. There was an all too real possibility that the legends people told were true and that was something she didn’t know if she could live with. She’d already loved her fair share of men and if the soulmate legend was to be believed, she’d yet to find hers.

  There was Chris, the sweetest and most understanding boy she’d ever met. Their long nights spent in the backseat of her car and the way he’d toted her around to his fancy high class events like she was a treasure had made her feel her first sense of belonging. However for all the times they’d touched, there had never been that overwhelming feeling that Jo had craved. Sometimes she felt bad about the ending she wrote for them, but she knew that wherever he was Chris was doing big important things and she couldn’t help but be proud of that.

  Then there was Paul… While Jo was grateful not to have some eternal soul bond connecting her to him, she had still at some point been in love with him. Before they’d rushed off to the altar in his haste to legally tie her to him, Paul had been sweet and kind and really had made her fall in love. Of course things had gone down a path that Jo didn’t like to think about, but the sentiment of lost love was always there.

  Since coming to Seattle though, Jo’s love life had consisted mainly of a random hookup here and there, her mind putting away the idea that soulmates really did exist. In fact, it wasn’t even something she thought of at all as she let random men claw their way down her back or grind their hips into her own. Stephanie had called her a one hit wonder, but that’s easy to say when you’re constantly getting amazing sex with a man who looks like Jackson Avery.

  “Jo come on,” Leah called from the living room of the small apartment they shared. “I look hot and the longer we stay here, the harder I have to work to find a man who isn’t shit faced.”

  Adjusting her headband once more, Jo stuffs her thin wallet into her bra and leaves her bedroom. Joe’s was holding a Halloween party and Leah and Jo were not going to miss out on the festivities. Jo eyed Leah’s firefighter costume that left little to the imagination, the blonde confident in her abilities to snag an actual firefighter during their night out with the ensemble.

  “Look at you Wilson, you’re gonna be pulling them left and right out there,” Leah let out a low whistle as she took in Jo’s costume. “Naughty and nice indeed. Let’s get out there!”

  Jo had opted for a simple angel costume, her figure hugging dress just barely covering her ass and the low cut neckline showing off her assets well. She knew Seattle was freezing in October, but if this dress got her laid she couldn’t complain much. 

  Tugging at the hem of her dress, Jo followed Leah’s lead out the door of their apartment and towards the Uber she’d called while Jo finished getting ready. She’d had a long week at work and all she wanted to do was get drunk and go home with a guy who would take care of the physical needs her body was desperately craving to fulfill.

  “I heard a bunch of the fellows are coming out tonight, maybe you’ll get one of them to get into your pants,” Leah’s eyes were glued to her phone as she spoke. “Personally I’m hoping one of those hot EMTs rolls by. I would love to get a piece of that action.”

  Jo’s eyes bulged at Leah’s suggestion, scoffing at her friend, “Jeez you don’t beat around the bush. Besides there’s not really any hot fellows that are on the market still.”

  “Mmm Karev is,” Leah looked up from her phone, just in time to see Jo duck her head down. “And let me tell you, he is a fantastic lay.”

  “Leah! Jesus!”

  “I’m just saying, I’ve seen the guys you bring home and I’m sure none of them are completely satisfying your needs,” Leah shrugged, eyes looking out the window with a grin. “And we’re here! Thank god, I’m ready for shots.”

  Jo rolls her eyes, following Leah out of the car and into the crowded bar. The throngs of people help Jo’s body to warm up a bit as her and Leah push through the crowds. 

  “Oh! Grab those barstools, I’ll go get us drinks,” Leah pointed to an empty table in the corner, motioning Jo towards it as she headed for the bar. 

  Jo settles herself into one of the seats, pulling her phone out to distract her until Leah comes back. She needs alcohol desperately, she needs to be drunk and she needs to get laid. Whatever else happens tonight doesn’t matter as long as those two things happen. 

  She’s pulled out of her thoughts by someone sitting in the seat next to her. Already annoyed with them, Jo turns to chew out whoever decided tonight was the night to mess with her, “Listen, I don’t know who you think- Oh.”

  Sitting next to her was Alex Karev, dressed in casual street clothes and taking pulls off the beer in his hand. She hadn’t seen him all day, she’d been working in ortho with Torres, so he wasn’t an unwelcome sight. 

  “You gonna continue yelling at me Princess? Or maybe I should call you Angel tonight,” Alex grinned at Jo, flicking the halo atop her head as she rolled her eyes at him. “You come down here all alone?”

  “No I came with Leah, she’s grabbing us drinks. She’s been gone forever though.”

  “Yeah well she’s making out with some guy in the corner,” Alex’s eyes scanned the room and pointed the blonde out to Jo, who grimaced. “Doing that in public should be illegal.”

  A laugh left Jo, taking in Alex as he surveyed the room. They’d worked together a lot lately, developing a close relationship that consisted of them joking during surgeries then coming to the bar for a few rounds of beers. He was funny, more charming than most gave him credit for, and he had a huge heart for the kids he worked with. It was easy for Jo to form a bond with him, something that Stephanie teased her about whenever she had the chance. 

  “Come on, I need a new beer and I’ll get you one too, only cause I feel bad that you got ditched,” Alex stood and gestured for Jo to follow him towards the bar. “So you trying to get laid tonight?”

  “Oh my god! Alex!”

“Oh please, I’m not hitting on you. That dress just tells me everything I need to know. Besides, I’m sure any guy in this place would take you home,” Jo almost has to laugh at Alex’s commentary as they walk towards the bar. “Seriously, I’d be shocked if you didn’t get laid tonight. You look hot.”

  A snappy comeback is on the tip of her tongue when Jo finds herself all but pushed towards Alex as a pair of stumbling idiots behind her attempt to find their footing. Alex’s hands reach out to steady her, falling to her bare arms as they lock eyes. 

  Holy shit. 

  The feeling coursing through Jo is unrecognizable and familiar all at once. Her eyes lock with Alex’s, noticing the dark look that’s taken over them as they hold each other’s stares. Her skin is burning where his hand is still laid across it, the sensation rippling out across her body and sending a chill down her spine. Despite not having a drop of alcohol tonight, Jo’s head is fuzzy and her senses fluctuate uneasily as she processes what’s just happened. 

  “ Oh fuck .”

  The words leave Alex’s mouth and tug harshly at something deep within Jo’s core, her panties immediately soaking themselves at just the sound of his voice. What the hell was happening to her? Alex pulled his hand back from her arm, the absence turning wheels in her mind that told her to touch him again, to bring him closer and not to stop. She could tell from the way he was fidgeting that he felt the same intense feeling pulsing through his body that she did. 

  Was this it? Was this that all consuming feeling that people talked about? Her mind was screaming at her, telling her to press her lips to Alex’s to feel more of the electricity crackling through her veins. She couldn’t though, she realized as reality slapped her harshly across her face, there were so many reasons why she couldn’t shouldn’t do this but… 

  The feeling building inside of her comes to a startling peak as Alex leans close to her, his breath fanning across her neck as he wraps an arm around her waist. The fire inside of her reignites as Alex’s fingers brush against her bare skin again, the apex of her thighs burning at how close his body is to hers. She can barely comprehend what he’s saying, her mind clouded by a thick fog that threatens to consume her whole being, but the words he speaks drag her up as if she’d been drowning and he was a fresh breath of air, “Bathroom, now .”

  Jo just nods, not trusting herself to speak as she watches Alex weave through the crowd of people and disappear behind the bathroom door. Her heart is hammering, her mind on another plane as her feet carry her down the same path she’d just watched Alex take. 

  She had a soulmate. Jo couldn’t believe it, she had found the person she would spend the rest of her life with and it was Alex Karev. She’d thought that he might be different, that he might be special in a way she wouldn’t dare to say out loud. But she had also thought she was wrong, their first interaction consisting of their gloved hands brushing against one another in a rush to grab trauma gowns. Then again in the NICU as they high fived each other nothing had happened. Still rounds of radio silence as Alex pressed his hand into back when they’d walked the halls, when she’d settled a hand comfortingly onto his shoulder after they’d lost a patient, and again when they’d worked in the OR and their hands had passed surgical tools back and forth. 

  Jo realizes then that her and Alex, for all the times they’d touched each other, had never touched each other’s bare skin. Her arm begins to burn at that thought, the spot that Alex had grabbed her tingling as if begging for his touch again. Her body was no longer her own, Jo thought, as it thrummed and yearned for Alex Karev of all people to touch her in places she wouldn’t dare to say out loud. She stops suddenly as she stands in front of the bathroom door, breath coming out in spurts as she stares at the wood. Once she walked in, her life would be changed forever. She contemplated not going, turning around and leaving the bar altogether, but the longing building in her core wouldn’t stop, an all consuming need to walk into whatever unknowns faced her if it meant Alex would be there too. 

  With a silent resolve, Jo pushed open the door, quickly shutting and locking it behind her. As soon as she turned around, she felt lips against her own that helped quell the burning need deep in her belly. She couldn’t help the low moan that left her, Alex using the movement as an opportunity to sneak his tongue into her mouth. His fingers were running up her legs, moving dangerously closer to the hem of her skirt as she pressed herself closer to his touch. 

  “You… I knew there was something about you,” Alex’s lips were trailing down her neck now, Jo’s skin flaming hot as his tongue darted out to cool the skin. “Should’ve known it was you.” The moan that leaves her as Alex’s tongue pulls down the strap of her dress and licks a path down to her breast is almost embarrassing in how desperate it sounds. It feels like she’s lost control of herself, her body reacting to Alex in ways she never would normally. Her fingers are running through his hair, eyes closing as she leans back against the wall in pleasure. She finds her free hand moving of its own will, snaking down Alex’s chest and under his shirt to claw at the skin there. 

  “ Alex . Off.”

  She can’t get more words out than that, her fingers moving to try and push off his shirt in a daze. He takes the hint and pulls back to rip it off himself, his fingers then moving to quickly undo the clasp of her bra. Alex pushes her dress down quickly and throws her bra to the side, hands coming up to pinch her nipples in a way that makes her hold back a scream. Jo knows that with less clothing the air should feel cooler but her body instantly heats up as Alex’s bare chest meets her own, his lips colliding with hers again as her nails rake down his back. 

  She’s had sex before, she’s had phenomenal sex with different partners, but this… the connection she feels with Alex as their bodies melded together was unreal. They hadn’t even taken their pants off yet and Jo knew that this was by far the best sex she would ever have. 

  “Oh Jesus,” while trapped in her own mind, Jo hadn’t noticed Alex’s fingers moving lower and slipping under the thin lace of her panties. Now that she has though, she can’t ignore him or his fingers that are curling so easily into her and hitting her so deliciously that it feels as if he’d done it a thousand times before. “ Alex .”

  “Say it again.”

  His voice is rough and desperate against her lips, her head tilting back in pure ecstasy as his fingers continue to move inside of her. 

  “Oh god, Alex . Please don’t stop. Alex , Alex .”

  His name sounds different on her tongue, the word rolling off so easily that she wants to say it again and again until her voice is hoarse and she has no more words left. His breath is hot against her neck, hitting in time with the fingers that are still stretching her and bringing her closer and closer to her breaking point. She’s close, she’s so close and she knows he can feel it, Alex’s lips trailing back down her neck to bite lightly at her breast. 

  “You’re gonna be the death of me,” his voice is a growl, teeth skating her skin as she whimpers. Jo can feel herself ready to fall over the edge, her body tensing in the best way as she digs her nails into Alex’s shoulder. “Come on baby, you’re so close. Come for me.” His voice sends her over the edge, the words falling from his lips sending her into ecstasy. Every nerve in her body is on fire as her orgasm washes over her, pleasure taking over every bit of sense she has. She can feel Alex’s hands wrapping around her waist, his lips trailing back up her neck and towards her mouth, but doesn’t fully register him until his lips are pressing against hers again. This kiss is less needy and desperate, but the passion between the two is still burning bright as Jo follows Alex’s call to wrap her legs around his waist.

  She thinks he’s going to settle her onto the sink counter, but instead Alex drops her in front of it, flipping her around so her bare breasts are pushed against the cool marble as he bends her over. He doesn’t waste any time, quickly throwing her panties to the side and letting his hands wander her bare ass. She can hear his belt and pants clattering to the floor, eyes closing in eager anticipation of what’s to come. 

  “I feel bad for taking you in a bar bathroom for our first time,” Alex’s words are hot and heavy as he leans forward, his lips ghosting her ear as he runs his fingers through her folds once more. “But you’re so damn eager.” “I don’t care where, please just fuck me,” Jo’s voice is bordering a whine as Alex removes his fingers from her, leaving her wanting more as her chest pressed against the countertops harder. “ Alex, please.”

  He’s silent for a moment, Jo’s about to turn around when his fingers squeeze her hips tightly as he sheaths himself inside her in one fell swoop. Her voice isn’t her own as she leans forward, a loud moan leaving her as Alex sets a pace that's altogether torturously slow and the exact thing she’d needed since his hand grasped her arm. 

  “God, you’re so good,” Alex’s voice is husky, a moan intermixed with the words as he lets one hand wander up Jo’s body. His pace picks up a bit, Jo’s own moans growing louder and more frantic as she grasps the sink tightly. “You feel so good wrapped around me.”

  “ Alex ,” the word barely drips from her mouth as he continues his quickened pace, fingers tightening against her hip. High pitched moans punctuate her words as her body takes him with everything she has. “Mmm… wanna… see you… Alex .”

  Alex doesn’t waste any time, releasing her hips and flipping her quickly around to face him. Jo’s legs are around him in a flash, his arms settle around her as she takes him once more, hips grinding down against his as she leans her forehead against his. 

  The pace they set is fervent, their bodies moving in tandem as their tongues battle each other. While her body is rolling through waves of ecstasy, Jo feels something deeper inside of her building. There’s a connection, a bond building between her and Alex as their bodies connect in the most intimate way. The urge she feels deep within her causes her to open her eyes, meeting Alex’s dark eyes that are already on her. The interaction alone causes Jo’s heart to skip a beat, her fingers coming back up to Alex’s face as she brought their faces closer. 

  “You… you’re everything. You’re so beautiful. God, I’m so glad it’s you,” the words leave Alex in a breathless whisper, but the sentiment behind them isn’t lost on Jo. The look in his eyes isn’t the raging lust that it had been when they’d locked eyes at the bar, instead there was a genuine longing and love behind it. “Come here.”

  Alex brings her lips to his, one hand gripping tightly to her waist as his strokes went from hard and heavy to slow and intimate. With every languid thrust he makes, Jo’s body reacts in turn with a moan that drives her closer to her breaking point. She’s close, so damn close.  

  “ Alex , oh god,” Jo knows she sounds desperate, but the way Alex is moving is driving her crazy. As he bottoms out once more, she breaks their lips apart to take him in again. His eyes are closed, forehead resting against hers as he lets his own frenzied moans fill the air. He’s close, she can tell by the ragged breaths coming out between his moans as his fingers squeeze her hips and surely leave marks on the delicate skin. “Come with me, please Alex .”

  His eyes pop open then, their gazes meeting as they both topple over the edge in unison. A carnal moan leaves Alex as he buries himself in her, teeth desperately nipping and biting at her neck once again. The feeling washing over Jo as her second orgasm overtakes her is indescribable, like her whole body is on fire in the best way. Her nails claw down Alex’s back, her mouth agape as she relishes in the feeling of him  pulsing inside of her. 

  When they've both taken a minute to recover, a low laugh erupts from Alex, his lips still brushing against Jo’s neck. His fingers find her cheeks, eyes moving up to meet hers with a crooked grin that makes Jo melt a bit inside, “Hey there.”

  “Hi,” Jo can’t think of anything else to say as she takes in Alex’s face. She’d looked at him hundreds of times before, but this felt different. It was as if she was staring at an entirely new person, which she almost was. This wasn't Alex Karev her boss, this was Alex Karev her soulmate. The man she’d spend her life with, the man who would father her children, the man whose last name she would take. 

  “You wanna get outta here? I really wanna take you home,” Alex’s words are soft and low, as if there’s a chance that Jo will say no to his request. 

  “Yes please, I can’t think of anything better,” she presses a light kiss to his lips, a grin overtaking both of them as she does so. “Mmm you’re gonna have to move if we wanna leave.”

  Alex chuckles, finally untangling their limbs and beginning to gather up their clothes that they’d discarded around the small bathroom. He hands Jo her dress and bra, her cheeks heating with a blush as she watches him slip her lacy white panties into his pocket. 

  “Did you think maybe I needed those,” Jo’s voice was filled with amusement as she looked at Alex, who held the door open for her as they slipped out of the bathroom together. “You’re gonna let me walk through the bar with a dress this low and no panties?”

  Alex slings his arm around Jo’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple as he whispers in her ear as they make their way through the crowd, “I know the angel getup is just a costume, you’re pretty naughty on the inside.”