#but they’re still each others 1 partners in terms of being besties

[mariatesstruther]

OKAY BUT

THIS TESS WITH THIS MARIA LIKE??? SORRY MILLERS, MOVE THE FUCK OVER. I SAID MOVE

[jedivszombie]

Okay gang, since there are a bunch of anons going fucking wild across the dash tonight about some joking posts about Mark Webber and Ann Neal - that were someone’s shocked reaction to the age difference between them. I thought it would be interesting to go on a little journey together. 

This little journey is the story of how Ann and Mark met, and will hopefully give you guys some insight as to why the ‘sexism’ and ‘ageism’ arguments you are currently using are bullshit - and why using these words in such a buzzword way actually is not the kind of critical thinking you think it is. And why this situation is more akin to a student and teacher starting a relationship - which I think we can all agree is not advisable, even if you don’t know why.

Below the cut is going to be a little discussion of Mark and Ann the early days; the reason the age difference is iffy at best and fucked up at worst; and, a little discussion about how these situations require nuance and the ways in which f1blr often likes to blow situations out of proportion. 

I have split it into three parts:

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy. (tw: for racism here, be careful)

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

A little disclaimer for you guys: I do not pretend to know anything about this relationship, other than what is readily available to learn about it from what they themselves have put out about it. I am just providing a timeline and some facts. Whatever conclusions you draw from it are your own.

Feel free to come for me if you so desire. 

Mark and Ann: The Early Days (1994-1997)

We start our story in Australia in February, 1994. Mark is competing in Australian Formula Ford Championship and Ann Neal is the new media and PR officer for the category. This is their first meeting. Just so we know what’s up here Mark was 17 at the time, and Ann was absolutely an adult (apparently there is a 13 year age gap, which may not sound like much but we will get onto that later, which makes her roughly 30 when they first met). 

Some key things to be aware of from this first meeting: 

Mark is 17, Ann is about 30. Mark is a young racer, Ann is the media and PR officer for the category he races in. 

In an excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 57 to be exact, we get to find out what Ann had to say about the first time they met: 

“She thought I was a bit of a smart-arse when we first met. ‘But I liked how bold and cheeky he was,’ she says, ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’”

In another excerpt from Aussie Grit, p. 61, Mark tells us other things Ann remembers about their first meeting:

“Ann remembers our first meeting and my opening remark about her being so important. She can even remember what I was wearing – a stripey green and red top, one of those United Colors of Benetton things – so that was pretty prophetic, as things turned out!” 

Now this may sound extremely cute to some of you, like they’re just having a normal ‘aww remember how we met’ moment. But let me please re-direct your attention back to the fact that Mark is 17 (and still not an adult yet if this is what you are gonna nitpick about) and Ann is very much an adult, in a position of power. 

So, a teenager makes a quip about how important you are and you commit to memory what he was wearing the day it happened? 

Now let’s bring in the first quote I put up there where Ann herself was recalling the first time they met. I would like to draw your attention to the following sentence: ‘and how mature he seemed. When I asked someone how old he was, I was shocked when they said 17 – he was confident beyond his years.’

Hmmmm, where have we all heard language like this used before? If, like me, you have some experience of adults trying to start inappropriate relationships with you as a teenager then you will be very familiar to this sort of language. The emphasis is on how mature he seemed, is what’s sticking out for me here tbh.

Now, if this had been a fleeting meeting, and they had met again a few years later, I would be more on board for whatever justification some of the anons have been trying to use. However, it wasn’t. 

Again from Aussie Grit, p.61:

“After that first meeting we kept in touch. My family sometimes met up with Ann and Luke for weekend get-togethers, and I ensured she got her motor-sport fixes by dragging all my old F1 tapes out. By way of revenge she would bring down all her British Formula Ford tapes for me.”

Oh cool, so she gained the trust of his family and Mark was hanging out with her son. This is so sweet Alexa, play Chosen Family by Rina Sawayama. Real talk though, again if this is how it had ended - with them just being family friends - then we would not be having this conversation. 

BUT, we all know how this little story ends so onwards we march. We shoot forward to late 1994, Mark has done okay in Formula Ford but his Dad is no longer able to fund him. SO, he turns to their old pal - the ever present and super helpful Ann, bless her heart - to try and drum up some sponsorship for Mark so he can race. 

Little background on why Ann was chosen to try and help with this, I’ll give you 3 guesses and only one of them is correct. Yes, that’s right, it’s her experience - which she has managed to get by being 30 and having a background in motorsports. She started out as a motorsport journo and ended up dealing with press and PR for Paul Warwick (Derek Warwick’s brother). In 1986 she started dealing with Johnny Herbert’s media before working for Formula Ford in Europe in 1991. 

Ann begrudgingly accepts and draws up plans with Mark, which leads him to a Yellow Pages sponsorship for his next season in Formula Ford, and beyond - how sweet, how nice, they are #winning! We stan teamwork besties! And Ann started working with Mark and his family to further his career. 

Ann had a plan for Mark, as outlined in Aussie Grit, p.69-70:

“By the end of 1995 Annie told me, in no uncertain terms, that – and I quote – I had to get my arse out of there. She didn’t just mean Australian Formula Ford, either: she meant Australia. She thought it was time for me to go and have a crack at some of the big guys, and she proposed to help me go about it in a serious, business-like way.

‘How the f#*k are you going to get to Formula 1 coming from Queanbeyan?’ Anyone who wants to trace my journey should start with a piece of paper that Ann drew up on 6 July 1995.”

So, now Ann has outlined her hopes for Mark and a glimmering career in motorsport. I would like us to know that at this point in time Mark was the ripe old age of 18, going on 19. 

In 1996 Ann and Mark moved properly to the UK so Mark could drive in the British Formula Ford Championship - at this point Mark is still 19. At this point he is living in the UK with Ann and her mother, and Ann’s son. 

So this is probably sounding pretty okay so far and sure it’s just a business relationship with a business set up, like no real cause for concern. But then we discover that this business relationship had turned into a relationship-relationship pretty damn fast. 

From the horses mouth himself, Aussie Grit, p.87:

“Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed.”

Okay, okay, okay so I know at this point Mark is 19/20 he’s an adult right? He can make his own choices. But, can we please admit that at best it’s an iffy situation because of the position of power and authority she was in? In his life? For his career? 

There are a few other excerpts I found particularly interesting, about Mark’s family’s reaction (all from Aussie Grit, chapter 3):

“My parents came over to the UK in the English summer of 1997. While they were thrilled about how things were developing for me in racing, they’d been less thrilled by the romantic relationship that was developing between Annie and me....”  “...Annie was bitterly disappointed at my behaviour. Her plan to take me to the highest level of motor sport was starting to go horribly wrong, so she left Australia earlier than planned and headed back to Europe. My family arranged for Alan Docking to collect my belongings from the house we had been sharing and the one and only car Annie and I had at that stage...Campese Management told her that they had been instructed by the Webber family to terminate her role as my manager and that Campese Management would be taking over all aspects of my career, including the negotiation of my driving contracts.“

“While I knew Annie provided the support and guidance I needed in my racing career, I was missing her in so many other ways too. We were such a dynamic force in every sense; we could make things happen when we were together. We were teammates, soul mates, call it what you want.“

“As to Mum’s concern about our age difference, that has never been a factor for us. When we began to be more open about being together, perhaps the top end of the age gap shocked a few people. In those days people were less accepting of a big age difference between partners, especially when it’s our way round. It’s not such a big deal nowadays and it makes us laugh when so-called celebrities reveal they’re dating an older woman or younger man!“

While the Daily Mail is trash, the beginning of this video is very revealing to me - particularly Jackie Stewart’s comments from 00:12.

Obviously you can make up your own conclusions from all of this information, and I would once again like to point out that none of us - not me, not the anons, not you - actually know the nature of their relationship. They have been together for 24 years - good for them! Whatever they have going has obviously worked for them, this is not me trying to shit on that or anything, and I’m gonna be real I’m not the biggest Mark Webber fan. 

Nuance, my old friend. Anon hate, my enemy.

All I want to do is add some nuance to the conversation, an overview of the timeline, an understanding of what the facts are. So that some of those cowardly anons (or anon) can hop off their self-built thrones and get a grip. The sexism and ageism argument literally does not apply here, for all of the evidence and reasons listed above - if the situation was flipped we would still be calling it out. The only difference is you guys would probably be on board with it being called out. 

So Ann is a woman? So, what? Do you think she’s above reproach? You think one person’s 50 note post on this site is gonna rock the foundation of a relationship that has been 26 years in making? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are either: a) Mark Webber himself, or b) delusional as hell. You really think that responding by sending anon hate to a teenager, who btw only made a post calling out the age difference because she was shocked and had just discovered it, is the right way to go? 

You really think that sending me this message, attacking other people in such a vile and racist manner is okay?

So you don’t like Nehir and Sera? Good for you, go block them, if you follow them, unfollow them. Those options are free and readily available to you. 

For me, it’s so funny to see you hiding behind that little Anon mask spewing this vile shit. The commitment you have to proving that you are just a cowardly person with nothing better to do than rag on a bunch of different people for reblogging a post, that in the long run is not going to reach the people it’s about, is outstanding. I really hope you pat yourself on the back for this one. 

The pitfalls of discourse and the importance of looking after yourself.

There has definitely been a spate of ‘conversations’ that have been happening recently that have very much been straying into the land of discourse, over very small comments or posts. I think that some people need to remember that we’re all here for our own entertainment and as soon as it stops being fun - you are allowed to log off; you are allowed to block people; you are allowed to unfollow people. 

Sending anon hate is so counterproductive to whatever conversation you think you are starting or having with a person. Also guys, sometimes it’s not that deep - sometimes jokes are just jokes, sometimes someone finds out something they didn’t know about a driver or an ex-driver and they make a joke post about it. That does not give you the right to send them hate, or to make racist comments in other people’s asks. 

Sometimes these discussions require a debate and sometimes discourse can be good - but honestly? I’m worried about some of you guys, it is not healthy to get so angry at other people for the things they post on their blogs that you are not obligated to follow or interact with at all. 

I am also worried about people who turn every little thing into something discoursey. There are causes and issues to care about in this sport and community, for sure. But sometimes you also have to pick your battles - especially when I know a lot people in this community have fragile mental health. I do not say this to patronise any of you but to just provide a reminder that you do not need to engage with everything that makes your blood boil, and furthering some of these conversations sometimes is not doing you guys any good. Burnout is real. 

Please take some time to take care of yourselves, the pandemic is doing a number on all of us and I know being online gives you a gateway to being connected to people, but sometimes you just have to walk away from a discussion. Sometimes you have to just go and reblog something unrelated, or stare at a photo of your favourite driver, or listen to some angry music. Anything else to process your knee jerk reaction, to give yourself time to figure out how you feel about something and whether it’s worth engaging in or not. 

[blouisparadise]

We recently received a request for enemies and lovers recs. We already have an enemies to lovers fic rec list here, but after looking at that list, we realized we had much more to add to it and therefore decided to make a part two.

Happy reading!

1) I Couldn’t Get Away From You | Mature | 5185 words

Suddenly in the heat of the moment, Harry’s eyes turned darker as he pushed Louis’ back more and more towards the wall. “Fine.” He plants his lips on Louis’ and begins to roughly kiss him, soon enough turning it into a make-out session.

“Fuck you, Styles,” Louis moans and grips onto Harry’s shoulders, hands trailing up to the taller’s hair and gripping that as well.

“We’ll see about that.”

2) There's More Than One Place To Call Home | Explicit | 8416 words

Harry never asked for much from his neighbors - he didn't care about barking animals during the day or loud talking during the night.

The only thing he needed was silence when he was writing. And that was the only thing his new neighbor wouldn't give him.

Deciding to confront the loud guy who lived next door, Harry found himself ringing his doorbell one night. And that decision just may be the best thing that's ever happened to Harry.

3) Make A Run, Cause Some Rebellion | Explicit | 8824 words

As a general rule, kitten hybrids are small and disinterested in what other people want them to do, slightly evil and at least a little manipulative. Louis prides himself on being all of those things to varying degrees, but especially on being uninterested in what other people tell him to do. He’s still human goddammit, despite his pointy ears and penchant for curling up in the sun and taking naps.

He’s going about his daily business, knocking things over where he sees fit and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. As exasperated as it makes Liam he’s used to it by now, having shared a flat with Louis for almost three years now, and if Louis whines enough he’ll even clean up after him. It’s a great life, really.

With the exception of Liam’s stupid, broad shouldered, entirely too big mate, the one who always comes over to watch sports with him. Louis hates that guy. His hair is always greasy and he brings weird hipster beer with him when he comes that tastes like shit. And he won’t even let Louis have any of it, either. The only reason Louis even knows what it tastes like is because one time he stole a bottle from the fridge and fled to his room before Harry could catch him.

4) Something To Prove | Explicit | 9425 words

Louis is the first and only omega to work at Red Valley Medical Center. Despite being more than qualified, he still faces prejudice for his career choice everyday. From patients refusing his treatment to condescending alpha doctors intervening with his work, practicing medicine in Boston is more challenging than Louis had ever thought it would be.

5) Where Do We Go Now | Explicit | 10617 words

Louis goes off to college ready to start a fresh life away from the oppressive alphas of his pack.  The odds aren't in his favour when his new dorm mate turns out to be an alpha.  Louis hates alphas.

6) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

7) I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) | Explicit | 20681 words

These days Louis tends to steer clear of dating alphas. He’s dated too many knotheads in his time, and he’s ready to just focus on school and his friends and his pet monitor lizard, of course.

Too bad the alpha next door won’t take a hint and stop using the worst pick up lines of all time on him. He’s really got to stop laughing with him--and talking to him and walking to class with him and letting him bring him coffee and tea and gifts for his lizard and watching Netflix together and...

8) Written In The Stars (That’s You And Me) | Explicit | 22632 words

Louis pushes himself up on one elbow and stretches enough to just barely trace his fingertips over Harry’s jawline. Harry’s eyes drop to track his movements as he does it again. “D’you feel that?” he whispers.

To him, it feels like all of the universe’s magic lives just beneath his skin when he touches Harry with intent. It feels like something special. Louis watches Harry’s lips part and wants to touch that too. He almost does, but then Harry shakes his head. “Feel what?”

6) Middle Ground | Explicit | 23516 words

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry moves to a new town for work where he meets the enigma that is Louis Tomlinson.

10) When It’s Late At Night | Mature | 25597 words

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

11) Supposed To Be | Explicit | 26100 words

The Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

12) Magical Soup | Explicit | 28850 words

Slytherin prefect Louis Tomlinson's seventh year at Hogwarts takes an immediate turn for the worse when he's made to be potions partners with Harry Styles, Hufflepuff's resident heartthrob and class clown.  Louis has always considered Styles to be a terrible show-off who coasts by on his charm and good looks, but the more they work together, the more he questions that idea.  As term goes on, will Louis be able to admit to himself that he might actually like Harry Styles after all... and maybe, just maybe, as more than a friend?

13) Building Me Up (But Buttercup, You Lied) | Explicit | 31007 words

Harry’s mouth felt dry just saying those words. What he had with Louis was so much more than a simple ‘fuck buddies’ situation. It was slow kisses in the morning between soft sheets and shy smiles, it was holding hands in the afternoon while walking and eating ice cream. It was breakfast for dinner, laughing and licking honey from each other’s lips as they shared goals and even some secrets, it was happiness, it was glow.

To Harry, what he had with Louis meant everything. Until Louis decided it meant nothing.

14) You’ve Set On Me | Explicit | 31100 words

Louis' in an obscure band. Harry's an international popstar. Their paths aren't meant to cross, not like this, but when Louis' band signs on as Harry's opening act, both Harry and Louis are forced to confront the open wounds of their shared past.

15) Nicotine | Explicit | 32245 words | Sequel

"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Make This Feel Like Home | Explicit | 42032 words

The house on West 28th Street in London is twice the size of Louis', more expensive than the price of all of his house and car payments combined, and is falling apart at the seams.

19) Strangers in Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

10) Why Can’t It Be Like That | Explicit | 63567 words

A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn't need a stylist, Harry's thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they're both very wrong about each other.

21) I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts) | Mature | 83648 words

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.

22) For Reasons Wretched and Divine | Explicit | 94655 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Ten years ago, Harry Styles was just a nerdy kid with one friend and a debilitating crush on the captain of his school’s football team. He thought the stars were smiling down on him the day he and Louis Tomlinson were paired for their end-of-term Literature project. But because Harry’s life is decidedly not a fairytale, the budding friendship quickly leads to the least happy ending of all time.

Now, Harry Styles is a household name. Barely twenty-seven with two Grammy nominations to his name, the singer-songwriter is poised to take the music industry by storm with his highly anticipated third album. So, what happens when the best producer in the business is also the only person Harry’s vowed never to speak to again?

23) You Drive Me Crazy (But It Feels Alright) | Explicit | 102306 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“Harry is not short for Harold,” he corrects, his voice as thick as molasses. He lowers his eyes to Louis’ sequined lapels, rubbing one between two fingers. “Is this small or extra small? It looks lovely.”

Louis breaks away from his grip with a petulant huff and pushes him back with two fingers.

“You’re mocking me. Again.”

Harry smiles and it's a real honest swoop of his lips this time. Louis’ stomach swoops with them.

24) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices | Mature | 126056 words

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[dreaming-of-assclass]

AssClass OC

Mai’s Relationships: Part 1

I’m procrastinating on homework and decided to work on this random ass post about my OC 😂

Her profile is linked here UwU

Warning: this is extremely long and detailed

Tomohito Sugino

Address each other as: “Tomohito” or “Domo” and “Mai”

(The Domo nickname is inspired by one of Fumiko’s ideas UwU)

Besties. Nothing can ever change that. He was the first friend she made when she transferred to Kunugigaoka in 2nd year, and they’ve stuck together since then.

Although their very first meeting was a little unconventional...Sugino almost accidentally hit her with a baseball and she almost threw hands hehe. But they got along instantly after that.

They bonded with similar outgoing, positive personalities and a shared fondness for sports. They hang out all the time and have become so comfortable with each other, they can just randomly show up to each other’s house. Sugino’s family basically adopted Mai, and her family loves him. It’s common to see these two hanging out at a corner store, tossing baseballs at each other to catch, sending memes in class, etc.

Mai is very defensive of him, and will absolutely speak up about his baseball skill, kind nature, leadership, etc. She even stays by his side during the baseball arc to support him. Nakamura calls them platonic soulmates, and both of them honestly agree.

They bicker sometimes since they both can be fiery, but it’s out of fun 95% of the time. The rare occasions they seriously fight are because of Sugino’s overprotective nature/patronizing, and Mai’s clinginess and tendency to get jealous. But regardless of any differences, they will always have each other’s backs. Chaotic besties forever.

Yukiko Kanzaki

Address each other as: “Yukiko” and “Mai”

They did not get off to a good start...it was rather rocky. They just didn’t have good impressions of each other, and neither cared to truly get to know the other. Kanzaki thought Mai was hyper, brash, and difficult. Mai thought Kanzaki was stuck-up and vain because of her idol status. The girls avoided each other, and Mai was less than ecstatic to hear about Sugino’s crush. 

Finally they’re forced to spend time together during the Kyoto trip, when Group 4 forms. They begin to get along more and find a couple shared interests, the ice slowly breaking. Then the kidnapping happens, and Mai stays with the boys and Okuda to find them. Mai is given a job to discreetly locate the girls inside the warehouse and basically figure out it’s layout. She sneaks in and sees the girls, and unintentionally hears Kanzaki’s secret about her 2nd year gaming phase, and is shocked. But now she feels more understanding for her. Mai and the guys and Okuda save the girls, and she especially approaches Kanzaki, making sure she’s okay. Kanzaki opens up to the whole group about liking video games and such. 

Later that night at the hotel, Mai admits to Kanzaki that she overheard her family story and rebellious phase without meaning to. Kanzaki says it’s okay, and thanks her for saving them, and for understanding. They both admit they had misconceptions about each other, but see that they’re not true. 

The girls have an extremely close friendship after that, sharing interests in video games, e-girl fashion, etc. Mai’s competitive nature dies every time she plays against Kanzaki and gets completely owned and teased. They hang out a lot, and Kanzaki comes to basically live at Mai’s home, with how often she’s there. They’re the type of friends to sneak out of an important meeting to play games and talk together. They both become very protective of each other, and grow to think of each other as family.

They definitely balance each other out in terms of personalities and attitudes. Kanzaki is more calm and rational compared to Mai’s bold and outspoken self. Mai’s open-book nature contrasting against Kanzaki’s aloof image. Even if these differences can lead to some clashes, they both appreciate it a lot, and value each other’s views.

Also they definitely try to help each other with their best/worst subjects. Kanzaki trying to help Mai with Japanese work is the funniest thing to see because eventually they just mutually give up and move onto video games.

Hinata Okano

Address each other as: “Hinata” and “Mai”

These two are like two halves. Plain and simple. They hit it off super well on the first day of meeting each other, which was in 3-E. Well, it’s more like Mai wouldn’t stop bothering her or starting up conversation lmao. But they had instant chemistry, especially when around mutual close friends like Kayano and Maehara. 

As soon as she realized they had the same birthday, Mai happily declared them to be sisters, and nothing would ever change that. Okano rolled her eyes, but secretly loved it. Okano uses that against her, saying that “Since she’s the older sister, do as she says.” But Mai always retorts with “But I’m taller.” 

They’re extremely close, and bond over so many things. Being sporty, liking skate-boarding, teasing Maehara, etc. They’re definitely each other’s go-to person for venting and confiding in, since they somehow are almost always on the same wavelength.

They can get into bad arguments though, given their similar temperaments. But it’s over in 2.5 seconds, and after screaming at each other, they’re laughing at memes together.

They love challenging each other in PE and assassination-related things since they have pretty similar styles. They love when they get partnered together, although it’s not as common as they’d like. Overall just an adorably vicious combo of short-tempered cuties.

Justice Kimura

Address each other as: “Kimura” and “Mai”

Oh boy. Whenever these two are around each other, they just become a wild gremlin duo. They equally enable each other when it comes to being chaotic. They’re just really good friends who can be playful with each other. 

They became friends and got to know each other mainly thanks to PE and mutual friends like the class athletes. Before they knew it, they started to just hang out without others, they vibed so well.

Kimura lives to make Mai burst out laughing with his random edgy jokes and humor. There’s just always a lot of laughter whenever these two are together. 

That said, Mai is not immune to Kimura’s worst antics, like the parkour incident. For the first time, she gets so upset at him but after yelling her head off like he expects, she just crumples to the floor and cries. She really needed that good grade to show her mom, and because Gakushuu had spent so much time tutoring her...

Kimura feels like shit and apologizes, and they don’t talk for a couple days. Mai definitely forgives him and moves past it though. Sometime during watching the kids at the school, she hugs him and apologizes for going off on him. Kimura says it’s okay since he was being a selfish idiot in the first place. Their friendship goes back to normal UwU.

Mai loves to tease Kimura for A LOT of reasons, but his name is never one of them. She calls him “Shorty,” “Dumpling,” and always pinches his chubby cheeks, to his annoyance. She definitely roasts him whenever he pulls some harmless stupid stunt that results in disaster. But on a serious note, she’s his biggest hype-man and always cheers him on in PE and in schoolwork. If anyone makes fun of his name, she absolutely will deck them.

Karma Akabane

Address each other as: “Karma” and “May-chan”

Almost everyone was nervous on his first day, and how these would inevitably meet. The class was certain that Karma would test Mai’s already-thin patience, and they wouldn’t get along.

But to their surprise...these two did get along. Really well, actually.

Mai, a natural moodmaker and very open-minded girl, appreciated Karma’s quirks and the odd mystery surrounding everything he did. She thought he made an already weird-situation even wackier and more interesting. She also couldn’t help but have respect for how successful he was at his first try, although it was buried under her envy.

Karma in turn also appreciated her, and how she was so easy to read. Mai is literally an open book, which Karma gravitates towards. In the first ten minutes of meeting her, he realized she was totally fun to tease because of how irritated and snappy she’d get. Hence, their friendship formed and Karma teases her every single day. He also calls her “May-chan” in a very exaggerated American accent since her name is commonly mispronounced like that, and it’s the quickest way to annoy her.

Overall, these two are really good friends, but definitely in a very sibling-like manner. They make fun of each other a lot, but would murder anyone else (outside of 3-E) who dares to. Even though they’re around the same age, it sometimes feels as though Mai is his younger sister. She loves to drag him around by the arm sleeve or wrist, for no other reason to drive him crazy. Also, they both are strawberry snack enthusiasts, which they bond over. Occasionally, Mai will assist him in his pranks, just to try and make sure she doesn’t become the target of one. Nope, she still is. She’s either entertained by or tired of his shit. 

Also...these two clash a bit in Civil War, because Karma’s vagueness really frustrates her. In general, Mai tries to keep an open perspective of the issues surrounding Group 4 leading up to Civil War, so she’s not completely pissed at him. But she does call him out and speak to him upfront about what problems he’s causing.

Don’t worry, their relationship definitely improves afterwards, once everyone receives some closure. Their teasing sibling-like dynamic continues to stay throughout high school and in the future. 

[girlobsessed21]

Is Bellarke misinterpreted or not?

I know this post is long overdue, so sorry for that. I’ve started writing for a publication and it takes a lot of my time. But as promised before, here’s a list of reasons suggesting Bellarke romance and why...

It follows the romantic arc of a lot of romance movies and series. I even created a thread on Twitter comparing some of their lines to the most romantic lines in movies yet the viewers seem to misinterpret. Well, I call bullshit, simply because it is. Now, I can’t give you false hope that they will be paired romantically but I will say this. If they’re not, the writers and producers are less than subpar in their depiction of a platonic couple. Aka they have no idea what they’re doing.

In a show that’s ultimately about survival, it’s difficult to incorporate romance without shifting the emphasis and genre but they seem to do it perfectly with Murphy and Emori, Kane and Abby, Gabriel and Josephine and even Lincoln and Octavia back in the day. What’s sobering about this, is that Bellarke’s scenes are written, filmed and produced more intense, overpowering and chemistry-induced than any of the above-mentioned couples.

This tells me they know exactly what they’re doing and where they’re going with it. Can it be fan service and bait? Sure. But that would make bad television, resulting in audiences looking back on The 100 with dread instead of excitedly recommending it to friends to binge. After Lexa’s death, a lot of fans left the show because of such a sudden horrific end to a fan favorite. I think they might be trying to avoid such a subduing concept again. 

Jason explained in his article that viewers slightly misinterpreted Bellamy’s arc and believe it or not, I somewhat agree with him. Bellamy had no other choice than to save all his people by using Josephine’s mind drive as a bargaining chip BUT of course he wanted to save Clarke too. She’s his person, he’d do anything for her. If he was given a choice between saving his people and Clarke, what would he have done? It just so happens that saving her, meant saving everyone.

From season one to six there are highly robust moments which suggest Bellamy and Clarke love each other a lot more than friends should. I’m not including season one scenes in this list because I don’t think they had quite crossed the verge of friendship there, although the “I need you, Bellamy” and “You look like you could use a drink” scenes were emotional and flirty, laying the premise for the most beautiful romance I’ve ever witnessed.

1. Love is weakness

Listen to the background music of that scene, the intensity and relief on their faces, yeah, that shit’s not platonic. If you wanted to show me they’re besties, they should’ve done a similar hug to Raven or Octavia’s.

When Clarke wakes up in Mount Weather, she asks about both Finn and Bellamy. And the same when she makes it to Camp Jaha. Once Bellamy returns, she runs and throws herself in his arms, which she hasn’t done with any other character except for Madi, her daughter. When Bellamy suggests he infiltrates Mount Weather, Clarke claims she can’t lose him too yet when Lexa tells her love is weakness, she agrees Bellamy should do it by saying she was being weak. Uhm, love is weakness.

2. We can’t lose Clarke

Bellamy crosses an entire grounder army by himself to go after Clarke. Then, limping on a stabbed leg, he’s still hellbent on saving her. All this while his girlfriend is back home, worrying about him. The desperation is in this scene is palpable, bringing us to the realization there’s nothing Bellamy wouldn’t do for Clarke because he clearly loves her.

3. You left me

Clarke refuses Bellamy’s offer to go home with him and stays behind in Polis with Lexa. Of course, he’s hurt and furious. When Clake tells him she needs him, he responds with, “You left me.” If you translate that, it would mean, you abandoned me when I needed you most, you chose Lexa over me and now you expect me to help you?

But apart from the dialogue, look at the way the scene is filmed, Bellamy’s in a proposal stance with soft affectionate hand-holding. The way they look at each other, hurt lingering in Bellamy’s eyes. Clarke crushed his heart and yet he still loves her. That scene tramples the edge of romanticism.

4. Start with Bellamy Blake

ALIE is an AI, more intelligent than any of our average human minds. She had the knowledge of all Clarke’s friends and family combined. When they had to choose someone to break Clarke’s steadfastness, ALIE suggested Bellamy. Granted, I doubt Clarke was in love with Bellamy at this point since she had just lost Lexa, and still, the AI concludes she cares about him more than anyone else.

All the same, a person can love two people at once. Clarke was willing to co-operate with Roan to save Bellamy’s life. The tears that fell while he yelled at her in Hakeldama, suggests she felt something. While their passionate hug and consoling conversation on the beach could be seen as friendly, they’re not that intimate with anyone else.

5. The list

This was probably one of The 100′s most romantic scenes, until 4x13 and 6x10. “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list.” is a simple way of telling someone you can’t live without them. If I live, you live too. I’m not doing this without you. I need you and ultimately, I love you enough to die with you if necessary.

It’s a sobering thought and I think Clarke may have realized the depth of Bellamy’s feelings for her at that moment.

6. If I don’t see you again

Boy, was this scene a bust. Ruined by Roan, who I’ve since dubbed Ruin Roan (I love the Azgeda king). Raise your hand if you know why he didn’t finish the sentence. Here’s a thought, it breeds mystery, but better yet we never got to hear him confess his feelings though we know he would’ve. Giving the writers a scapegoat.

Clarke probably wouldn’t have reciprocated, making the story awkward but Mr. Bellamy Blake was 100% going to tell Clarke Griffin he loved her. Otherwise, he would’ve continued. Now, does he still love her? Absolutely. When you lose someone you love, does your love for said person die with them? Not at all. You find ways to cope and move on but it lurks, showing up when you’re alone or reminded of them. I’m speaking from experience.

7. The oxymoron 

When you look at the cold sweat scene, any regular viewer might miss the intimacy but the soft subtle touches do somehow exceed the boundaries of friendship. Bellamy’s face though when he realizes Clarke might be right, he might lose her, shows a lot of fear. Most importantly, this is the first time we’re introduced to the head and heart concept, showcasing their soulmate dynamic. The metaphor compares them to the two lead features of the human body, neither of which can survive without the other.

But, that’s nothing compared to Bellamy’s devastation when he realizes he left the woman he loves behind to die. That hurt in his eyes and voice was heartbreaking.

8. The radio calls

In essence, there’s nothing wrong with calling your best friend every day for six years but when you use him as a way to keep you sane, you might wanna re-evaluate your relationship. Six people left for space, yet Clarke called Bellamy. This is also the first time we clearly see Clarke’s feelings for him. I’m sure they were there for a while, bubbling below the surface but with years of time and peace, one tends to come to terms with who you are.

And in 5x01, when Madi gushes over Octavia, Clarke longingly stares into space, hoping her heart will return. The pining is further emphasized by her expression when she sees Bellamy and Echo kissing. Yeah, camera work doesn’t lie, it was focused on her and Octavia’s faces for a reason.

Then, that hug in 5x03 was so profound, a hundred different emotions rolled into one. Clarke asks, “And now you’re home?” What is home, earth or herself?

9. Pleading for the life of a traitor who you love

There are two sides to this story. One, Octavia explicitly compared Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke to those of his girlfriend. That line was written into the script on purpose. If someone knows him, it’s his sister, she’s witnessed their entire relationship first hand and uses it to draw a reaction from him. Why? Because she knows he’s torn up about it.

Secondly, in 5x12, Lexa contrasts herself leaving Clarke outside Mount Weather to Clarke leaving Bellamy in Polis (and the gorge). She calls it her biggest regret and tells her former lover not to make the same mistake she did. 

Both times these characters feelings for each other were paralleled to their love for canonical partners. Coincidence? I highly doubt it. 

10. The head and the heart

The emotion in this scene, wow! Throughout season six there are subtle hints of Bellamy’s love for Clarke. He mourns her, Josephine says he cares more about Clarke than anyone else, he tells her the radio calls weren’t crazy but refusing to accept she’s dead and bringing her back to life in Fairytale fashion is nothing short of a beautiful romance.

If the writers had changed their minds about the status of Bellarke’s relationship somewhere along the line, this scene was completely uncalled for. Once again, all I see is I can’t let you go again, I refuse to live without you, I need you in my life because I love you. 

11. I tried to do better

Show this to anyone who doesn’t know the show and they’ll tell you this couple’s in love. Clarke goes to Bellamy, no-one else, for comfort when she’s falling apart. Although short, they share another one of their signature hugs where the passion and emotion are louder than nightclub music. With the rising sun as backdrop, this is as far from platonic as you can get. 

A few last things

The writers of this show aren’t stupid, they carefully build their plots around the foundation like using the neural mesh in ALIE’s chip to save Clarke. They know exactly what they’ve written, filmed and produced. Bellarke was always meant to end up romantically. Unfortunately, in a fast-paced show with one problem after the other, there’s almost no time to reflect.

If they wanted audiences to become invested in Bellamy and Echo’s relationship, they would’ve shown it to us. In 6x12 the cameras focus on Bellamy and Clarke’s faces when he reunites with his girlfriend. His whole arc (misinterpreted or not) revolved around her. That’s the message they convey and 90% of the audience cannot be wrong. When you watch reaction videos or podcasts, most of them agree.

And, they cautiously circumvent the word love in relation to Bellarke. Best friends love each other, Bellarke love each other. The question is in what capacity. My opinion is this, if I dated Bellamy, I certainly would have at least questioned his devotion to Clarke, yet Echo says nothing. Highly unrealistic.

Lastly, go and rewatch all of the above scenes without shipper goggles. Do you still see the depth and intimacy? I do. I specifically chose these because of the romanticism they entail. All the hugs are great, but best friends hug, these scenes have deeper meanings and though we could’ve misinterpreted Bellamy’s arc in season six, all of their scenes can’t lie. Not bringing them together canonically will do a great injustice to a magnificent show.

Yes, The 100 does not fall into the romance genre but the story revolves around Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia. For six season they’ve shown us how much the two leads love each other and failing to conclude that book is bad storytelling, to say the least. I believe it should at least be addressed if they decide not to trot down the romantic road.

Happy Hiatus everyone. I might post a few more things while we wait for season 7. I’ve written an article about the anomaly as well. But for now, I’ll focus more on other shows, I’m still writing fanfiction though. Let me know if there’s something specific you’d like me to write about or your opinion on the list.

[seddm]

STARCO OVERVIEW - Season 2 (part 1)

SEASON 1

SEASON 2 (part 1) (part 2) 

SEASON 3 (Incoming)

SEASON 4 (Incoming)

MY NEW WAND (2x01a)

Ignoring all the questions that naturally come with a season premiere opening on Star videochatting in the bathroom while Marco is taking a shower - questions that usually lead to “why the shit did they need four seasons to start smooching”, My New Wand finally introduces the idea that Star might feel something more than friendship for Marco. We aren’t told what she wrote in her diary (even if we know now, thanks to the Book of Spells, and it’s essentially a slightly more consciously skewed toward romance version of Marco’s “I felt like this since the beginning” in Here to Help), 

but the structure of the scene and the “diary of a teenage girl which can’t be seen by her bestie” clearly directed the attention of the viewers in a very defined direction. One subtly highlighted by the super inconspicuous shape of the key (sure, lots of Star’s spells and elements are heart shaped or themed, but in this specific case having the concepts such as “heart” “key” “secret diary” and “crush” all in one shot is suspicious at the very least).

As usual, UNCONSCIOUS FEELINGS: Star was generically embarrassed about Marco reading her diary, because that’s something any teen girl would do. She wasn’t consciously crushing on Marco yet at this point, at most she sometimes felt things like “wow he’s cute” and stuff like that on top of an incredibly strong relationship. It’s akin to what Marco experiences in Blood Moon Ball, but since Star is more “aggressive” with her feelings, and since Marco is going to get serious with Jackie, she’s going to consciously include “romantic attraction” in the recipe of her friendship with Marco about half a season earlier than him. 

Another important element in the episode is the introduction to dipping down, a proper version of what Star did in Storm the Castle. Long story short, as Moon tells Star, the key to dipping down are strong emotions. 

Wanting to save Marco when Toffee kidnapped him, being embarrassed about him reading her diary here. I’m not saying that Marco is the only key to Star’s maturing, obviously - and later on she’s going to dip down even more for reasons not directly connected to him, but this early in the show he always is, one way or another, the focal point of her character arc, and Glossaryck knows it and uses him to teach his problematic student in unorthodox ways - it’s clear that he’s the one who closed Marco in the closet in this episode, and directed him toward Star’s diary, well knowing that it might have helped her get a first feeling of what dipping down is like. He literally says that finding Star’s secret is the way to have her reach the chunks, which is what he used with her as a metaphor for channeling magic through dipping down.

So strong emotions = dipping down --> Marco = source of very strong emotions for Star. Not the only source, but definitely the main one, especially in S1 and S2. This is an important point for Star’s whole character arc: it’s true that in S3 and S4 there are going to be less meaningful Star - Marco interactions, and that they’re both going to have many more moments of growth while interacting with other characters, but that’s the whole point of it. At the beginning of the series both dorks are walking disasters; by interacting together, by complementing each other and their shortcoming, they slowly mature into something better, individuals who are now ready to start stepping (slowly, very slowly, their journey won’t be complete until the end of the series) into the real world and take on it. So while I’m the first one who got frustrated and saddened by the relative lack of Starco moments in later seasons (relative is the keyword) it’s also important to keep in mind that it never meant that their relationship became less important and relevant, just that during their first months together they left a real and tangible effect on each other, leading to meaningful growth that allowed the writers to believably open up roads to different kind of interactions and “plot devices” for growth. This is what I mean when I say things like “meeting Marco is what allowed Star to defeat Toffee”. Obviously there are several degrees of separation, and several moments of growth / plot for Star that didn’t even involve Marco, but without their meeting she wouldn’t have matured as fast, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to confront herself with a friend who was ready to help put some order in her super messed up life life. From the Book of Spells: “When we are together he sees the chaos in the world and sort of embraces it”. This is a direct quote from Star’s diary, something the writers of the show wanted to point out before S4 while referring to early S1 Star.

Marco has been, since the beginning, the first and most important key to Star’s development (even if not the only one), the “force” that first allowed her to start her journey toward maturity and become the kind of person who could go from being “a skimmer” to being proud of being “a dipper”. And in this S2 premiere we get a very direct taste of it, with Glossaryck using Marco as a bait to help Star learn.

Important bonus: the face Star makes for a handful of frames after having seen a naked Marco being YEETed across her room.

MR. CANDLE CARES (2x02a)

I wrote a lot about this episode in multiple posts, so I’m going to be extremely focused on the Star - Marco stuff only this time: 

Marco smiles like that when he sees Star getting out from the office, and it endlessly warms my heart.

Both Star and Marco are clearly not thinking about each other in romantic terms in the slightest during this episode, the former harshly denying the possibility of any feeling for her bestie, the latter not being ashamed in the slightest about talking about creative making out techniques to trick Tom into revealing himself. And yet just two segments earlier Star didn’t want Marco to read a part of her diary where she might have said something crush-related. Unconscious feelings, Heart and Mind not agreeing on something, it’s always the same deal, the whole show is going to play with this idea of extreme disconnection between what one might feel and what one might consciously know they want (concept directly introduced in Sleepover) as a way to justify the ever growing emotional intimacy between Star and Marco while taking their sweet time to actually deliver any romance related developments. We all have to accept it, or it becomes frustrating and impossible to read some of the passages in the series, especially during S3 and early S4, because we’d get lost in trying to plot the trends of their feelings on a graph and that’s a fool’s errand. When the show wants to tell us “A CHARACTER FEELS SOMETHING STRONGLY AND THIS THING IS IMPORTANT” they’re not subtle about it, and that’s vastly more important than anything else.

Marco stops playing to dreamingly appreciate Star and state how endearing he finds a part of her personality which might be frustrating to most (and it is to Tom, despite him also being attracted to it at the same time).

Appreciating your partners’ quirks is Love Story Writing 101, and this is going to be particularly evident in Curse of the Blood Moon (”I like every single thing about you”) and Here to Help (Star chuckling at Marco’s clumsiness). In this specific case it’s obviously premature to talk about “love” and it’s mostly a delicious bonus that presents a comparison between Tom and Marco, evidencing both their points in common (they’re both fascinated by Star’s personality and individuality) and differences (Tom is frustrated by this part of Star’s personality as well, since it doesn’t mix well with his controlling nature, while Marco learned to embrace it).

The important part, my favorite example to show people why and how Marco had an incredibly important influence on Star’s growth, especially during the first part of the series: Star spends most of the day panicking over Mr. Candle and then her mom’s words, she feels trapped in a role she didn’t want, lacking any freedom and prospect in life beyond her role as a future queen (interestingly she feels stuck in life, just like Marco in the following episode, but not out of lack of direction, but excess of it!). Then Marco gets home, talks to her for twenty seconds, and he immediately manages not only to calm her down, but he also gives her a new perspective on her life, and on her possibilities as a princess (and we know that she is definitely going to use her authority in her own way during S3), all of this while always following the style outlined by Blood Moon Ball: not a teacher or someone who tells her what she should do, just a friend nudging her in the right direction, telling her what she needed to hear. A Version 1.0 of his speech about finding your own happiness from Beach Day, in a way - the theme of free will and self determination was present since the beginning, even if at the time there obviously seemed to be less freedom in Star’s life, since she was supposed to inherit the throne, eventually.

Bonus points for the Alphonse The Worthy’s portrait from Blood Moon Ball moving his eyes to look at the two hugging, and for the demon highlighting with “point Marco” that he ultimately won the day when it came to wanting to be at Star’s side. Minus point for Star still acting coy at Tom’s compliment showing that she still had unresolved attraction for him. 

RED BELT (2x02b)

The events of the episode itself aren’t particularly related to Starco, but it formally introduces Marco’s own “coming of age” arc, by telling us that he’s scared about being stuck in life, left without a goal or a purpose and without any meaningful connection. Needless to say that the “squire arc” from Sophomore Slump to The Knight Shift is going to address this, and that Star (as a person, but also as a mean to step into a bigger world) is going to be fundamental for Marco’s growth. While talking about the series premiere I mentioned that Star’s main role in Marco’s life is helping him become a better version of himself, stepping out of his comfort zone and managing to find his own path toward fulfillment and happiness, and Star is not just going to be extremely important for this, in different ways during the many different arcs, but she’s eventually going to be identified as THE single most important element. In The Knight Shift Marco is going to realize that he wants a lot of things from his life, that he wants to make experiences and slowly decide what he wants to do in the future without being scared about having to figure out everything here and now, lest being left behind, but he’s also going to realize that Star’s presence is essential to his happiness, that their relationship is the one lifelong post he feels like he has to commit, despite being just a teen with all his life in front of him.

So Red Belt doesn’t really have any relevant Starco interactions, but it introduces a part of Marco’s journey as a character that’s going to be incredibly connected to Star’s presence in his life.

As for the nightmare itself, don’t ask. It uses a lot of generic dream-like imagery to make things confusing and symbolic, with some elements from the first half of the season (Mr. Candle, the colors green and purple, associated to the magic subplot, the suit from Bonbon The Birthday Clown...). Maybe the Blood Moon being there was on purpose, a symbol for “you’re worried about having no goal in life, but your friend can be the key for you to gain maturity and fulfillment!”, maybe it was just “red belt, red balloon, spooky imagery... let’s put in the Blood Moon!”. Lots of things in visual media are done just for “rules of cool” or to give the scene a particular kind of mood that can help focus the attention of the viewers.

STAR ON WHEELS (2x03a)

This episode, in its extreme weirdness, is like an a super condensed recap of the important parts of Star and Marco’s relationship - with focus on the Star’s side of things, but there’s also some for Marco:

Star she gets excited about Marco teaching her something about Earth culture - riding a bike, which at the same time is also something new that could be compared to her getting her wand;

She overdoes and she messes up / can’t properly handle the situation;

Marco gets overwhelmed by this, but then learns to embrace the weirdness of Mewni / magic for Star’s sake (more or less like what happened in the first episode, or at least during her first encounters with Star and her world);

and Star has to come to terms with the fact that she’s in another dimension now, embracing part of it just like Marco did, and growing from it, and Marco has a big role in convincing her about it;

And while it’s at it, the episode includes other important themes (central to Star as a person in general, but in this case highlighted through her interactions with Marco), such as Star’s stubbornness and hostility toward doing and learning stuff when just told what to do,

and the resulting moment of learning and growth when Marco, instead of just “ordering her” what to do, gives her some of the trust that she desperately needs, and with it the confidence to actually try and succeed on her own (this all connects to the larger arc of Glossaryck teaching Star stuff in unconventional ways).

And since it never hurts we get reminded one more time how much Star resents being lied to and how important trust is to her.

Obviously the whole episode is extremely silly, the whole situation requires a lot of suspension of disbelief to work and the “emotional moments” of the episode are extremely hammed up - we get a heartwarming “I trust you.” moment when the situation at hand involves learning to ride a bike! But it’s still a good way to have in a slick 11 minutes long package a super-cut of (part of) what Star and Marco brought into each other’s lives, and how that affected them and their way to interact with the world. 

FETCH (2x03b)

Wow look in an episode that directly introduces the “stop running from your problems” arc for Star we get told by Sta herself that having your own Marco is important to give you the support you need to feel less overwhelmed by life - and thus less prone to ignore problems, it’s almost like he’s important to her in that way and that in Lint Catcher the dubbin vows when she makes him her squire further drive home the idea that he’s her ideal companion.

STAR VS ECHO CREEK (2x04a)

Another episode about “running away from problems”, in this case Star physically runs away from her problems and tries to avoid consequences. And sure, at the beginning of the episode Marco tries to tell her not to run away and we could argue once again about the positive influence and role Marco has on Star, but we know about it already. What’s REALLY important and huge is that by the end of the episode Star, the same person whose greatest fear in S1 was going to St. Olga and thus losing her freedom, gets convinced while talking with her own subconscious that going to prison (= facing problems and consequences instead of running away carefree) is a better alternative to never being able to see Marco again.  This is the same concept I talked about at the beginning of the post: it’s not like Marco is the ONLY important person in Star’s life, she obviously loves her family as well and in later seasons she’s going to interact with other characters as well, but at this point of the story Marco is the person who she actively cares the most about, and the one who better understands her (this is going to be a constant throughout the series, obviously), so almost all big moments of learning and self reflection for Star are somehow related to him. And while saying that Marco is the most important person in the world to Star (and vice versa) might not have been entirely correct by this point of the series (mostly because we lacked proper perspective), it becomes absolutely true by the end of it, as their choices in Cleaved highlight. 

So yes, sure, logically speaking, and going beyond the simple plot of this episode, Star would have missed a number of persons if she spent her life hiding just to run away from her problems, but as far as early S2 experiences and subconscious goes, it all relates back to Marco, one way to another. After all we know that they both had an intense and special relationship from the beginning, and it’s going to keep being something unique that they don’t share with anyone else throughout the whole show, even when they’re going to date other people, even when there aren’t going to be as many episodes featuring both of them together.

Bonus gratuitously adorable shot. Marco didn’t love-love Star from the beginning, we know that, but Gloss damnit, did he LOVE her from the beginning. I know that the series might not have had the best of pacing and some choices concerning shipping planted doubts and frustration in many fans, but no other two characters in the series come even remotely as close to Star and Marco when it comes to unabashedly caring about the other to incredibly extremes. THIS is what Marco means when he says that he felt like this from the beginning, and THIS is what Star means when she says (albeit in her diary in the Book of Spells) that she never connected with anyone else in the same way. This has never changed in intensity throughout the show (if anything it grew), even if it got the spotlight of an episode way less frequently.

WAND TO WAND (2x04b)

Yet another episode about Star learning not to avoid problems and responsibilities as much, and another episode that doubles down of how important Star’s feelings for Marco (I mean “feelings” in the broadest possible term, not as in “still unconscious crush” only) are for her magic. I already said this like five times, but I really want for the point to come across: I’m not saying that everything Star does, learns, or everything concerning her magic, has to relate to Marco, Starco, or to her growing crush on him, nor that Marco is the only one who ever helps Star grow. What I mean is that during all of S2 Marco is the single biggest source of feelings for Star, and this includes good stuff and negative stuff, such as all the emotional turmoil cased by Jarco. But this all plays into helping Star mature, culminating in Starcrushed. The S2 finale constitutes the climax to Star’s “stop running away from problems” arc, culminating in her accepting her role as a princess and going off to face Toffee, but this goes hand in hand with confessing her crush to Marco. Star finds the determination to grow and take The Plot™ head on, thus eventually saving Mewni (multiple times), and this part of her character arc is inextricably connected to her “learn to admit your own feelings for Marco” arc. THIS is what establishes their relationship as utterly special, and what allows me to claim that Marco had a fundamental role in Star’s coming of age story, well beyond the limits of what he personally and actively did with and for her.

When the series shows us that Marco is the key to Star tapping into her magic and better learning to use it it’s not because of some lore or plot related connection between the two, or between Starco and Magic - we have seen that’s not the case: magic is connected to emotions, and Marco happens to be the single biggest source of emotions for Star. That’s what it’s all about.

The episode ends with Star using brooms to fix her messes instead of magic, which is yet again a nice moment of “Star embracing part of Marco’s world”, but it’s not really that important in the big picture since it’s not like Earth’s ways are inherently better, it’s just important for Star at this point of her arc.

STARSTRUCK (2x05a)

Marco being right about Mina and still not rubbing it in Star’s face at the end is very cute and sets a difference between most of cartoon relationships and Starco, but it’s not that important, this is a solo-learning episode for Star.

CAMPING TRIP (2x05b)

This episode is like a fanfiction come to life, in a good way. The idea of Star’s crush on Marco is not going to be directly introduced until Sleepover, but in this episode she still acts differently, we are shown a side of Star that definitely leans closer to thinking of Marco as more than a friend - and this contributes to the main plot of the episode, where River is presented as a dad going through a middle age crisis, worried about losing her daughter to some boy who’s going to take her way from her home. AND YET NOTHING IS CONSCIOUS YET. THAT’S HOW THE SHOW DOES IT. During the episode Star is unmistakably closer to Marco usual, “happier” to spend time with him, but that doesn’t change anything in their relationship in further episodes and that still doesn’t help her be any more conscious about her feelings until Just Friends. There’s absolutely no contradiction here because it follows the inner rules the show adheres to.

I love this scene. Eden’s delivery of the line is incredible, conveying the eagerness in Star’s voice, a different kind than what we are used to and that immediately suggested (even at the time the episode aired, when we didn’t have the luxury of hindsight yet) that something was different. Not as in “something inside Star changed”, as I said we are still far away from any epiphany, just that the writers and boarders wanted to show a specific side of Star’s inner sphere in this episode.

And it’s even more interesting in hindsight, because comparing this scene with the dance in Curse of the Blood Moon, Mama Star, and Here to Help, shows us that Star and Marco (in this case it focuses exclusively on Star, Marco is denser after all) have always been very close to acting on their feelings - the entirety of them, and that they were usually just distracted by other things (other romantic interests, being stupid and dense, fear of change). When they have a moment to be alone, just the two of them, free from any other concern and focused just in each other, they immediately start to inch closer to embracing all of their relationship. 

Let me clarify: 

In Curse of the Blood Moon Star and Marco finally actually fall in Love for the first time after having danced together for a minute or so. Obviously the episode itself was a moment of high stress and tension, but once inside the Severing Stone they didn’t have to think about anything else for a moment. “We do this and everything will be fixed, we’ll be free of these obnoxious, unwanted feelings that get in the way!”, and by thinking that they let their guards down for a moment and enjoy each other’s presence, focusing on nothing more for the span of a dance, and that’s enough to lead them to understand that they do like it, a lot, and that they’d want to always be like that and that they had been running away from something beautiful all that time.

In Mama Star as soon as the Magic washes away all of Marco’s concerns and emotional blocks, he immediately confesses his love to Star, baring all of himself and revealing that what he desires the most is always being at her side.

Here to Help presented us once again with a context of stress and high tension, sure, but while in the barn Star and Marco could focus on themselves and nothing else for a moment, forgetting all about Mina and Mewni and anything else, and we know how that ended.

So I don’t mean that Star was about to confess her undying love for Marco in Camping Trip, just that the situation that was about to unfold (before River’s arrival) would have allowed for Star to focus less about “Marco is just a friend and you don’t feel weird things for your friends”, and more on “being with Marco makes me happy”. Which is the very essence of what “With or without magic we belong together” stands for.

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

The whole “River thinks Marco is Star’s boyfriend and that he stole her affection from him” is clearly played for laughs, but we still get an external character validating Marco’s efforts in helping Star out, and he also essentially approves of Marco being Star’s boyfriend. Which means absolutely nothing (with the exception of Wrtahmelior in Lake House Fever parents never ever butt in their kids’ relationships in this show, so their opinions have never been considered relevant when shipping is involved), but it’s still nice.

Bonus: Star is specifically animated looking at Marco in several occasions throughout the episode, way more then usual, “stealing glances” even. External link to the GIFs because Tumblr sucks and they’d make the whole post too heavy to load.

STARSITTING (2x06a)

In case you weren’t persuaded the first eighteen times I said that Star and Marco complement and help each other grow and be the best version of themselves, here’s an episode explicitly telling the viewer that. With a side of “dorks acting like parents” and a generous helping of “one day they’ll also understand they love each other” because there’s no way they didn’t want to tease that as well with the way these sentences are constructed. 

Bonus points for Star complimenting Marco for his skills with babies. DAD MATERIAL. ONE THOUSAND BABIES.

BY THE BOOK (2x07b)

This episode doesn’t really have any important Star - Marco interactions (even if it sure has cute ones, team work is the dream work. That’s how the saying goes, right?), but it reinforces the idea that Star learns things only in unconventional ways, something that often involves Marco during S2.

GAME OF FLAGS (2x08a)

Ignoring for a moment that Marco gets invited to what’s a family event, and that Star eagerly pairs up with him as Them Vs Her Families (ok I know that it makes full sense given the plot of the episode and it doesn’t mean there are any “Star and Marco as family” undertones here, but let me dream a bit ok?), the important stuff comes at the end: just like he did in Mewnipedence Day (albeit in a more direct way this time), Marco opens up Star’s eyes to the reality of the situation, snapping her out from a tradition she accepted without ever questioning it. And she doesn’t just back down, she tries to change things, she steals the flags, risking her own health, to claim the hill for all of them and change for good the nature of the event, just like she’s going to try and change Mewni. Once again the importance of Marco’s role in Star’s arc is evident, and once again he’s not a “teacher” who tells Star what to do, and even less a “savior” who has all the right answers for Mewni. He’s just a concerned friend who knows what kind of person Star really is, and who can give her a new perspective on things that helps her mature her own, personal, unique views. Views that are eventually going to forever change Mewni.

MEETING OF TWO INDIVIDUALS, MEETING OF TWO DIMENSIONS. The show begins with Star and Marco meeting it ends with their dimensions being cleaved together, they BOTH brought a new perspective on life to the other! It’s more apparent for Marco, since his advice pushed Star in a direction that has big effects on the plot itself, but Marco’s life was completely changed by Star as well, if in S3 he’s able to move to Mewni to have his “French Summer” and then in S4 he understands that importance of being true to what you want to commit to it’s only thanks to the crazy princess who helped him get out of his shell and make his first steps into real life. THIS is the very essence of what the show is, of Star and Marco being the tools to each other’s growth and happiness! 

SLEEPOVER (2x09a)

One might expect a long section about this episode, but I’m going to keep it short: forget about all the “but how does the Cube work?” “who did lie?” and stuff like that. The important messages of the episode are crystal clear:

- Star Butterfly has a crush on Marco Diaz. No matter how conscious or unconscious it was at this point, the show told us directly, not just through undertones and themes anymore, that Star had specifically romantic feeling for Marco as well.

- Feelings are confusing. You Heart might feel like it wants something, but your Head doesn’t know that and it thinks you want something else. This is what the series bases everything related to relationships and romance on. This is why Star can be utterly convinced that she likes Oskar, at this point of the series, while actually having growing feelings for Marco. This is why Marco can move to Mewni, leaving Earth and his old life behind, while still not realizing the full extent of why he felt such a need to be with Star, and so on. The whole series plays with the idea that Star and Marco’s feelings for each other keep linearly growing throughout the show, but don’t always consciously influence their actions and thoughts in the same way.

And that’s why by the end of the episode the boarders can nudge our arms and go “Hey, hey, see that Star is sad when Marco ignores her because of Jackie? Hey, hey, that’s the seed of jealousy, that relates to love! Look at that!”, but then in Naysaya Star can be super happy for Marco scoring a date with Jackie. Dumb teens who don’t know what they want. 

This line seemed so mature and deep at the little, little did we know the writers would have squeezed every last drop out of this concept as a way to justify things like Star and Marco completely ignoring their supposedly burning desire from Booth Buddies until Curse of the Blood Moon and then again until Mama Star. No, bad Seddm, no salt and negativity in these happy posts!

Let’s close this part here so that the core messages have more focus and remain more clear, but I wanted to point out that Star really loves involving Marco and having fun with him. Which is something we already knew but it always feels good pointing it out.

GIFT OF THE CARD (2x09b)

“Starco Teasing: The Episode”, also known as “How to have your main characters act like soulmates while still keeping everything in the episode frustratingly platonic only”.

From Star going [soft gasp] at how incredibly Marco looks in his ballet shoes

To the plot device of the episode being a gift for their anniversary... as friends, to everything else in the episode.

Ok this is clearly part of the gag but it’s also damn cute.

Star and Marco actually pour their hearts out with no recriminations here, and while it’s not something weird at all for this kind of scenes, where the characters think they’re going to die but the viewers are fully aware that it’s just the setup for a punchline, it’s still cute and a good example of the bases of their relationship.

The fact that this scene is not played for laugh, and that Star genuinely appreciates Marco saying it instead of going “OH SO YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOUR BUTT”, goes in the big pile of “Why do I like Starco more than any other fictional relationship?” pile.

Never mind how horribly frustrating Marco’s “let’s die in each other arms so people will know that we were friends, yep, just friends, that’s the first thing everyone would think!” is: this is an alpha version of Cleaved, Star and Marco think that they’re going to die and that there’s nothing more they can do, and their reaction is to hug and hold hands, just wanting to be together in their last moment. The whole episode doesn’t really have high stakes and it’s clearly a silly, over the top adventure, but the emotions the dorks show are very real, and exemplifying of how in love (used in the broadest possible meaning, not with a strictly romantic connotation) they were already at this time.

And this is what Star decides to get excited about, not having survived. Again, a gag, but it still fits well, it’s not played for laughs with malicious intents or to mock their friendship.

PIZZA THING (2x12b)

Nothing major nor new since it’s something we saw as early as in the second segment of the series already, but Star has learned to enjoy a “calmer” way of having fun compared to what she was used to on Mewni, thanks to Marco’s presence, being more than happy to watch TV on the couch instead of going partying around, sometimes. Also the whole concept of “Friendship Thursdays” is adorable.

NAYSAYA (2x13b)

“How can Star be this eager to help Marco out with Jackie and cheer for him when in Sleepover she was s-” HEART AND MIND DISAGREEING SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS she genuinely likes helping Marco and making him happy and won’t fully realize until Just Friends that this just means pushing him in the arms of someone who is not her, shut up!

With this out of the way, this episode features The scene showing just how much Star helps Marco getting out of his comfort zone, taking risks that go well beyond kicking monsters and going into other dimensions and becoming a better version of himself, one who can achieve his own happiness (Jackie is a small part of this, this concept of “achieving happiness” is going to be much more relevant in S4 and Star’s role in it for Marco - and viceversa - is literally going to be the main attraction during the series finale).

Hey look, Marco’s biggest fear is being alone (as in, feeling alone as an individual, without meaningful connections, not being literally alone) and without a goal and a meaning in his life. And for a time he’s going to delude himself in thinking that Jackie and school can be that, but then in Sophomore Slump he has to slowly accept and realize that Star is the only one who can give him that!

Wowie it’s almost like they deeply changed and influence each other’s lives.

BONBON THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN (2x14)

I’m going to put this as a disclaimer at the beginning of this part so that I don’t have to explain later: during this episode Star clearly displays feelings and behaviors that can only be explained by having a crush on Marco and feeling an intense need to be with him. But the episode begins with Star cheering on Marco with Jackie, and is followed by several other episodes of Star being none the wiser about her feelings for it, and definitely not showing them. Why? How? Heart and Mind disagreeing; denial; being scared of change; blaming all her uneasiness from the night on having lost Glossaryck thus overwriting the other feelings until Just Friends; a combination of everything, you pick your poison.

This is a minor note, but both Star and Marco regret having forgotten about their already existing plan with the other for the prom, with Marco’s “Jackie High” lasting about half a second before he once again goes “Oh no Star, no hurt Star!”. It’s just a setup for the episode and doesn’t really play any role, but it’s a welcome breath of fresh air compared to the easy drama most shows from past decades would have immediately built up from this kind of situation.

Star is super happy to greet Jackie, right now her mind still hasn’t put 2 and 2 together, she still hasn't processed “If Marco is going to a promo with Jackie as her date, he can’t possibly be romantically involved with me”. It’s all still a very unconscious process now (she won’t properly think “I want to smooch him but I can’t” until Just Friends), but it’s a painfully clear case of “You don’t know what you truly wanted until you lose it”, as evidenced extremely clearly both visually and by the subtle as a hammer on your teeth song (this scene here, Just Friends, Lava Lake Beach, song get used as a way to highlight and give exposition to the characters’ feelings multiple times in the early days of Starco).

Darned if I knew That I'd find you In the last place I thought you would be What could I do 'Til I saw you waiting for me? Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh And if I catch your eye It feels like I could fly Out from my lonely world into yours

Following that, Star spends most of the episode feeling weird: she looks at the picture on her phone and feels bad and tries to find a reason for that, something to blame for the new feelings she’s experiencing.

For a moment, when she uses the All Seeing Eye spell, she might have understood, or at least made a direct connection between Marco being on a date with Jackie, and her feeling like that. But the epiphany escapes her grasp after an instant, due to her magic going awry, and after that Ludo’s rat immediately gets there and she has other things to worry about.

Going back to Marco’s side of things for a moment, a quick consideration about what’s clearly a Jarco moment, a moment of connection between the two of them: we get a character external to the Star-Marco dynamic acknowledging Marco’s tenacity and perseverance, a quality that early Star lacked (”looks like I’m just a skimmer”) and that’s going to become an important part of her later on (”I am a dipper”, never giving up with the Monsters and Eclipsa in S3 and S4). One of the most clear examples of how Marco’s good influence helped Star change for the better, and this is the first time he gets outright praised for it.

After the kiss Marco sees the Blood Moon, and he’s immediately reminded of Star and goes to check on his phone, noticing the missed calls and getting worried. Was this part of the curse? Was the Moon trying to hinder Jackie and Marco’s relationship? Absolutely fucking not, as Marco said the curse is bullshit and was never a thing. In the context of this specific episode it’s symbolic, nothing more: Star is always in Marco’s thoughts, we know it and no one can deny it, the Blood Moon was merely a visual way to remind him of her, and to tell us viewers that even while kissing his long time crush, Marco still keeps part of his being focused on Star. He could have seen a little girl playing with a magic wand or hear someone say “the stars are beautiful tonight!” and it would have had the same effect. There’s nothing magical here, and if there’s it’s not important; it’s not even a good thing for Star, since Marco and Jackie’s arrival at the graveyard is actually what makes Star lose control of her magic, losing the fight.

 Marco saving Star is a cool and sweet scene, and sets a clear parallel with Wand to Wand (and we even have confirmation from the storyboarder that it was on purpose, not that it wasn’t clear enough already) that neither of them would ever let the other go, but there’s not much to be said about it, their commitment to each other is pretty straightforward and it’s obviously to be expected in dangerous situations such as this.

Also, it’s not a full parallel: in this case the moment of danger doesn’t end with a hug, but with Marco going to check on Jackie (after having helped Star up obviously, he’s still and will always be worried about her after all).

And yet, despite this, by the end of the episode Star entirely blames her sadness on having lost the book and Glossaryck. She’s still clearly hurting over Jackie and Marco, but the situation at hand gives her an easy way out, an excuse to latch on to “cover” her feelings for her bestie with a thick layer of “no no it’s definitely just this” (wow just like in Curse of the Blood Moon!). And thus the epiphany that she almost had while spying on them is delayed until Just Friends.

Neither Star nor Marco are clearly aware about it obviously, but it’s hard not to see that “I’ve lost Glossaryck” line as “I’ve lost you” as well. Fun times.

To conclude, going back to something from the middle of the episode (didn’t want to digress earlier): this scene with Glossaryck asking Star if he can burn a page from the book and Star telling him to do whatever he wants is another side to the “you don’t know what you wanted until you lose it”: Star barely cares about the Book, symbol of her duties as a princess, but in a handful of minutes - and for future episodes - she’s going to be terribly hurting over having lost it. As I said multiple times the arcs of “Star learning to stop running away from her problems and accepting her responsibilities” and “Star recognizing and accepting her feelings for Marco” go hand in hand, and are both integral to her development and character arc. And, as we are going to see in the season finale, neither of them can truly reach its payoff without the other.

Bonus to make the whole episode a little less painful: while helping Star and Jackie up Marco might give Jackie more focus, but his tone of voice is way more kind and warm and delicate with Star, showing an incredible amount of care. Clearly this doesn’t entirely match Marco’s priorities in this moment, but it’s a welcome gift from Adam (and Daron I guess, since she’s always present during the recording sessions and certainly directed him to deliver the line in that specific way).

[bananannabeth]

You seem so happy with your pastry boy, I'm really happy for you! 💘 You've always given really good relationship advice, now that you're in a relationship do you have any new advice to share?

Aww thank you for giving me an excuse to gush, nonnie, i really appreciate it!!

1. TALK to each other. If they do something you like, tell them! If they do something you don’t like, tell them! People aren’t mind readers and even someone who loves you isn’t going to always know what you want unless you tell them. If you have expectations that you never tell them about, they’re never going to reach them and then you’re going to get upset about it and it’ll be a mess. Please just talk. Even if it feels embarrassing and awkward to say it, it’s so important to communicate.

2. Figure out all the ways each of you say ‘I love you’, because even if there’s a bit of overlap it’s not going to align perfectly, but it’s important that you recognise them all. For example, I show love primarily through physical affection, including sex; Pastry Boy shows love primarily through gifts, like baking things he thinks I’ll like or buying a tea I mentioned I liked once. This isn’t to say that he doesn’t enjoy sex and that I never make or buy him anything, because that’s very far from true, it’s just that they have a different place on our hierarchies of ways we show affection and care. Some people show love through grand romantic gestures, some through doing all the household chores even though it wasn’t their turn, and both need to be acknowledged for the intent and emotions behind them.

3. Talk about sex, during and especially before and after the act. Similar to the first point, if they do something you like or don’t like, tell them!! Don’t be afraid to check with them, too. “Does that feel good?” is a question that gives them an opportunity to change things up if it’s not working or to boost your ego by moaning an enthusiastic yes if it is. If you want to try something new, try to talk about it beforehand to get their opinion and make sure they’re comfortable with it. If something new happens in the heat of the moment, debrief afterwards and check how they felt about it. Talking about it in the post-sex glow is great, but make sure you also talk about it when you’re both fully clothed with clear heads, too.

4. Make sure you’re both giving in sex. Not to say that you both have to orgasm every single time, but make sure it’s not one sided. Also, don’t assume that just because you’re in a relationship sex is always going to happen when you want it. Get consent, either verbally or through ENTHUSIASTIC response, and if they’re not into it then stop immediately. People have different sex drives and that’s okay.

5. Let them have their own interests, and be excited for them when they talk about them/achieve new things! I like watching baking shows and eating food, and I cook to survive, but I am almost as far from a chef as you can get. The majority of Pastry Boy’s life revolves around food: work, leisure, connecting with others, everything. So when he talks to me about it I make an active effort to listen, I ask questions about things I don’t know (a lot), and even if I don’t completely understand it I get excited when he achieves or discovers something new, because it’s important to him and makes him happy. He does the same with me and my writing and Disney (lol), and it’s great! You can’t lose your identity just because you’re dating, please don’t ever do that. And on that note, make sure you still see friends and family and do your own stuff sometimes.

6. Be vulnerable. Sometimes embarrassing, shitty things happen, and finding someone who can offer you a modicum of comfort in those awful moments is a sign of how compatible you are. Like… when I blurted out “I love you” way too soon and was so mortified I wanted to cry, and his immediate response was to make sure I was okay, asking, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to pretend it didn’t happen? I’m okay with either one… You haven’t scared me off.” Or more long term things, like mental health. Being open and honest is better for the both of you. There’s no point trying to hide things for months, as it’ll just stress you out even more. When you do talk about it, they might have questions, or need time to process, but ultimately they should be okay with talking about it and should make an attempt to understand and comfort you (and you do the same for them).

7. Make friends with their friends and family. They’ve been around waaayyy longer than you have and you should respect that. Make an effort to be polite and to get to know them, because they’re an important part of your partner’s life. You don’t have to become besties, but you should at the very least be able to hold a conversation without your partner in the room.

8. Laugh. A lot. About inside jokes, about awkward things that happen during sex, about a show you watch together, about how cute they are. It’s a cliche, but being with someone who can make you laugh really does make everything easier.

9. Make sure that they’re a friend as well. I don’t mean you have to start as friends and then transition to dating, although that can be a good foundation. And I don’t mean that your partner should be your best friend, because the dynamic is different. But I do mean that, at the core of it, you genuinely enjoy spending time with them doing everyday things, and like their personality. As Pastry Boy put it yesterday, “You can love certain members of your family but not really like them. If you can find someone that you love AND like, you’re really lucky and you should hold onto them.”

10. Make sure that they make you happy, and that you do the same for them.

[couragesun]

Out of the original 8 chosen kids and their digimon can you rank your favourite digimon child partnerships?

You bet I can! 

Disclaimer: I really do love all of them, this is just my interpretation of which partner pairs I think compliment and support each other the best. I’m more than open to a discussion if there are disagreements 

1) Jou and Gomamon #partnergoals

2) Yamato and Gabumon

3) Takeru and Patamon

4) Taichi and Agumon

5) Hikari and Gatomon

6) Mimi and Palmon

7) Koshiro and Tentomon

8) Sora and Biyomon

More details under the cut!

Jou and Gomamon are my FAAAAVS. They genuinely feel like friends: they tease each other, challenge each other to be better, and are supportive and encourage each other. I honestly think they have the most true and authentic relationship. These two are family; there for each other for the high points and the low points (and during those low points, Gomamon is there with a hug and a smile!). They balance each other out and bring out the best in each other and I absolutely love it. (*buries head under blanket*) I have so many feelings about these two cuties I don’t think I can articulate it. They’re so much more than partners and I wish all the Chosen had a relationship like theirs.  

Yamato and Gabumon are so perfect and awkward it makes me squeal on a regular basis. Like, they understand each other on such a spiritual level, and yet they are still so awkward around each other; almost like they don’t know what to do with the amount of love and loyalty that they have for each other. I think Gabumon is the one character in the series that truly understands Yamato, and you can see it so clearly in their bond. When I was younger, I was always a little confused as to why Yamato got the Crest of Friendship, but his relationship with Gabumon really helped him understand what friendship is and what it can be. I really believe that Gabumon helped Yamato become a better person.

Takeru and Patamon also have a beautiful relationship. Even when I wasn’t a huge fan of Takeru, I always appreciated the bond these two shared. Takeru is the only digidestined who has watched his partner die in battle, so I think that he really loves and appreciates his partner in a way that is different than the other digidestined. UGH! And that scene in tri when Patamon was infected!! I was IN TEARS. How DARE they make me FEEL EMOTIONS!!

Taichi and Agumon have a relationship that I find fascinating. It’s a strange combination of Taichi treating Agumon a bit like a younger sibling and also like a trusted battle partner. I’ve rarely seen Taichi have long heart-to-heart conversations with Agumon, and I think that stems from Agumon’s emotional immaturity. Agumon is great, but he’s not on the same level as Gabumon or Biyomon in terms of awareness. When Taichi is uncertain, Agumon’s instinct is to say “We got this cuz we’re friends, and friends can do ANYTHING!” He trusts Taichi to a degree that makes him seem almost infallible – if Taichi asked him to step into traffic, I think Agumon would do so with very little hesitation. He doesn’t have the same role that Gabumon plays in Yamato’s life, where he helps Yamato grow. Agumon’s role is to be more of a safety net – Taichi can screw up, and Agumon will still be there (i.e. SkullGreymon). He is a loyal solider to his general, and will always be there to support Taichi. I think this makes them the best partners in battle, because they trust each other so much, but I don’t think they’ll ever have the same relationship that the former three have. And maybe they don’t need to – maybe Taichi has enough advisers through the other Chosen that he DOES need someone whose response will always be “I will go wherever you go”. 

Hikari and Gatomon! Okay, this ranking is completely because I’m the worst. I really need to re-watch 02, because I’m drawing a blank on Hikari and Gatomon’s relationship. I mean I know that they have a really solid partnership AND friendship, but I can’t really think of many specific instances to draw from. Part of this is because they came into the series so late in 01 and Hikari and Gatomon haven’t had too many scenes together in tri (although that mall scene nearly KILLED ME), so I just don’t have much to work with since it’s been so long since I’ve watched 02. Thus, I’ve placed these two comfortably in the middle because the scenes that DO come to mind are pretty great: when Angewoman and LadyDevimon are having their cat-fight and Hikari is on the sidelines cheering like a lunatic, the tri scene at the mall, the entire lead-up to discovering Hikari was the eighth child. Yea, these two are pretty great together.

Mimi and Palmon are kind of the opposite of Taichi and Agumon… Palmon and Mimi LOVE each other the way that besties do, but I think their relationship is different than Gomamon and Jou because Palmon’s role is to bring out Mimi’s genuine self and humility. I’ve always found it appropriate that Palmon is a plant-type digimon because she is so down-to-earth and she balances out Mimi’s over-the-top nature. I always imagine them at a sleepover, braiding each other’s hair (it’s not a perfectly accurate scenario..), while Mimi gushes/rages/gossips about someone or something, and Palmon being that little angel on her shoulder reminding her to slow down and consider all of the facts before making snap decisions. They are friends first, and everything else second. Palmon has helped Mimi grow up a lot, and has no problems calling her out on her bullshit (the Numemon castle episode…), but I don’t see the same level of trust and understanding that the above partnerships have. Mimi and Palmon are awesome for each other, but I’ve never found myself wishing I had their type of relationship.

Koshiro and Tentomon!! I love my nerdlings!!! UGH! Individually I think these two are perfect, but as I was thinking about each of the partnerships I even surprised myself how low I rated these two because I really do love them. And the problem, unfortunately, is Koshiro. I KNOW that Koshiro adores Tentomon, but I have seen enough moments where Koshiro treats Tentomon more like a business partner than a friend. Which, if this situation were like Mimi and Palmon, wouldn’t be so bad if that’s what they needed, but it’s not. Koshiro NEEDS someone to keep him in check, someone to drag him out of his cave every once in a while, someone to remind him that oolong tea can’t be the ONLY thing someone consumes to stay healthy… The other Chosen (Jou, Mimi, and Taichi especially) I think do a pretty good job at this, because they are hard to argue with. I feel so bad for Tentomon because you can see him TRYING to help Koshiro, but Koshiro often ignores him. And that… doesn’t always sit well with me. I think Koshiro can forget that Tentomon is his friend and confidant, instead of a partner on a research project. And then Tentomon has to do something drastic (like the cave of curiosity where he had to devolve until Koshiro snapped out of it, or when he had to sacrifice himself in tri to prove a point) and then Koshiro remembers “Oh no! That’s my friend and partner!”. So yea, they’re great, but Koshiro needs to get his priorities straight…

Biyomon and Sora. Yea, I feel like I might get some hate for this one, but I’ve never liked Biyomon. These two have had the most tumultuous relationship throughout all of the seasons, and while I’m glad that they eventually came to an understanding of each other before the reboot, watching them come to terms with each other was almost painful. For the longest time they didn’t trust each other, and I often got the feeling that Sora didn’t even LIKE Biyomon at the beginning. It wasn’t until Sora’s crest glowed for the first time that I saw anything resembling a friendship between the two of them. Which is okay, everyone develops friendships differently, but I don’t think I ever saw proof of this ‘amazing, loving’ friendship that they supposedly had after that moment. For example, When Yamato was in his depression cave with Gabumon, Gabumon was the one who pulled him out of it by talking to him and showing how much he cared about Yamato and by telling him he didn’t have to be alone anymore. I BELIEVE their friendship, because I saw it! I saw Gabumon fight for Yamato’s friendship and it was beautiful. Sora was in the exact same situation, and Biyomon was unable to pull her out of the cave of sadness. I just don’t see the same level of trust and understanding that the others have with their partners – I’ve been told it’s there, but I didn’t get to really watch the evolution. They just suddenly understood each other, and it felt forced and fake. And THEN we get to tri and the reboot and Biyomon is SUCH a jerk! And, believe me, I’ve read enough “in defense of Biyomon” posts to try and understand the other side, but there was a point where Biyomon was just being intentionally hurtful. I get it, you don’t know her, but how can you rebuild a friendship unless you TRY, and if you’re not willing to try then why are you still there?? I’m glad I got to watch their relationship form throughout that episode, but it still felt a little forced and rushed. I think that these two are just rarely what the other needs, and instead of pushing each other to be better they force the other into a standstill. It’s very frustrating for me to watch. So yea, they’re one of my least favorite partnerships, which is such a shame because I love Sora!!    

[russellthornton]

What Does It Mean to Love Someone? 21 Good & Bad Ways to Define Love

Being in love is broadly seen as this beautiful feeling that cannot be compared to anything else, but what does it mean to love someone?

Love has more than one meaning. You love your new shoes, and you love your parents. You love your pet. And you love your partner. But what does it mean to love someone?

Because all of those types of love are different. They are all strong and impactful but vary from person to person and situation to situation.

What kinds of love are there?

As I said, the types of love that exist are endless. There is familial love, platonic love, romantic love, and so on and so forth.

But, even though love is mostly seen as a positive thing, love is treated differently by everyone.

Love is not just a good feeling, but also means you risk being hurt. It can be used as an excuse to treat someone a certain way. It can be confused with infatuation. It can even lead to dysfunction and disrespect.

Just like anything else meant for good, in the wrong hands, it can be twisted into jealousy, control, expectation, and other things that make relationships worse rather than better. [Read: The ways toxic love can harm you]

What is love?

Before we get further into what it means to love someone, maybe we should discuss what love actually is. Essentially, it is described as an intense feeling of deep affection. That is not limited to sexual or romantic attachment.

Love is a word we use quite often. You love This Is Us. You love your grandmother. You love your bestie’s new hairstyle. But fondness and love are not the same. Love is much stronger and can be all-encompassing. [Read: What is love? 12 signs you’re experiencing it right now]

What it doesn’t mean to love someone

Now that you know what love is, it is important to also be aware of what love isn’t. There are a lot of things that are often confused with love. Some people use love as a term to excuse bad behavior or to act a certain way toward another person. But, love is not these things:

#1 Love is not ownership. Just because you love someone does not mean they are yours. You may call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, but other than an understanding of mutually shared respect, they do not owe you anything and vice versa. Loving someone is not conditional. [Read: The signs what you’re feeling is lust and not love]

#2 Love is not control. Many unstable or weak people use love as an excuse to control their partners. Saying something like, you would do that if you love me. But when someone says something like that, love is not part of it. [Read: The signs you’re being coerced into a controlling relationship]

#3 Love is not complete selflessness. This is a common misconception. Of course, it sounds nice to put the needs of the person you love above your own, but that is neither healthy nor functional. Taking care of yourself and being happy outside of that love is what helps relationships to thrive.

Loving someone does not mean always putting them first.

#4 Love is not sex. If someone is using love to pressure you into sex before you are ready, once again, love is not really at stake here. Love is prevalent and meaningful without sex. And if someone you love does not see that, they may not be worth it.

#5 Love is not power. Loving someone does not mean you have power over them. And if someone loves you, that does not mean they have power over you either. Although love can certainly feel that way sometimes, it should not define your life.

There is no such thing as loving someone less so you can keep the power. Love is not about that. 

#6 Love is not blind. Again, love can make you wear rose colored glasses. It can prevent you from seeing red flags and sometimes the truth. And although love aids in the forgiveness process, it is not 100% unconditional.

Love does not excuse abuse, infidelity, and anything else that crosses the line. [Read: Emotionally abusive relationship: 15 signs you just can’t miss]

What does it mean to love someone

There are a lot of things that love isn’t. But when you love someone it means quite a lot as well. If you have ever been in love you will recognize some of these things. Otherwise, this serves as a guide for your future love.

#1 You care about them. I know, I know. This is a given. But, caring is just one aspect of loving someone. This means you care what happens to them, you care that they are safe and healthy. You care about their boring work story because it is coming from them.

#2 You compromise. What does it mean to love someone? You compromise. You meet halfway when you can’t agree. You make concessions for them, and they do the same for you. And you don’t feel like you are giving anything up because you love them. [Read: The honest truth about true love most people don’t expect]

#3 You trust them. Trust and love go hand in hand. Although you can have one without the other, it never seems to work out that way. Loving someone doesn’t mean you automatically trust them, but it helps the trust to form.

#4 You communicate. Loving someone means you want to share with them. You want to rave about a good day at work, you want to complain about the traffic, and you want to let them know how you’re feeling.

#5 You want them to be happy. Loving someone means you’re happy when they’re happy, so you do everything you can to make them happy.

#6 You forgive them. As I mentioned earlier, love does not require forgiveness, but it helps when the moment calls for it. Love means you want to forgive and move forward. Love makes you want to focus on the good. [Read: How to know if you’ve felt unconditional love before]

#7 You learn from them. When you love someone, you want to hear their opinions. You learn from them, and they learn from you. You teach one another.

#8 You invest in them. I do not mean invest money, but time. You take the time to spend with them. If you live far away, you make the time to visit. You put the effort in.

#9 You laugh with them. Laughter is something every relationship benefits from, especially ones where you love someone. Laughter lets you share a light side of each other.

#10 You are comfortable with them. Being completely yourself around someone is so much easier when you love them. If you’re wondering what does it mean to love someone, love feels like comfort in the best way possible. You feel safe and like your bond cannot be broken by a snorting laugh or loud sneeze.

#11 You are better with them. Something about loving someone makes you a little less selfish. You want to invest time into this person and when you are with them, you want to be better overall.

#12 You want to be around them. Love means you want to spend time together. That doesn’t mean all of your time, but it means you thrive just being near them.

#13 Missing them. You think about them when you are apart. You can’t wait until you will see them again.

#14 You do nothing with them. Loving someone creates a sense of comfort. You can sit in complete silence and do nothing, but still enjoy that time because you are together. [Read: 10 signs of true love that might make you a believer]

#15 You like them. Like and love are not the same things. Love is almost involuntary. It adds to your life and while it technically has a definition, it cannot be defined to you. Liking someone means that beyond those deep feelings, you simply enjoy their company.

[Read: 20 feelings that best describe what love feels like]

What does it mean to love someone? The feelings love gives are endless and limitless, they can mean a lot of things, but it is all about what it means to you.

The post What Does It Mean to Love Someone? 21 Good & Bad Ways to Define Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[siliconwebx]

Local SEO: An Easy to Understand Guide

Your SEO strategy is strong. But have you thought about honing in on your local community? With a focus on local SEO, you can benefit from both general internet searches as well as specialized traffic that will bring in local customers and foot traffic.

If you have a physical location, targeting locals can be even more important than general internet traffic. Because 46% of all Google searches are for local businesses, and 78% of those searches resulting in offline purchases.

Local SEO does need a slightly different strategy than traditional, organic SEO, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. We are going to walk you through the basics and then some advanced tactics so that you can convert those Yelp reviews and Facebook likes into dollars in your pocket.

Local SEO: The Basics

In case you weren’t aware, there are a few differences in local SEO and organic SEO. The primary one being that local SEO takes the business and searcher’s locations into consideration when ranking. Ranking for keywords is important (just as in traditional organic SEO) but you have to add in various geographical metrics to make sure you’re found by the people who want to walk directly into your space.

1. Content is Still King

Keyword stuffing is still your enemy. You don’t want to have copy on your site that sounds like a bad radio advertisement:“Come on down to Besties in Your Town, USA for the best deals Your Town has ever seen. Remember, if you need this product, drop on by Besties in downtown Your Town, USA today.”

People cringe at reading stuff like that, and Google knows what you’re doing. You don’t necessarily have to blog to create content. That’s a misunderstanding about what web content is. You will want in-depth, well-written, SEO-optimized copy. It should go into pretty specific detail about what services you offer, for whom they are offered, and why you’re the best choice for the customer.

Tailor your landing pages, product pages, and about pages specifically to your ideal, local customer. Show them that you’re a part of the community. Doing so will build goodwill as well as show that you’re the choice they should make.

And if you do want to blog, feel free. You can write a ton about your community and general area. Which only boosts your ranking. Your business enriches the community and your content can provide the same kind of enrichment. You can highlight customers and community members, look at events going on in your area, or even discuss local history as it pertains to your business. Regardless, blogging doesn’t have to be on your content schedule. But if it is, you’ll see a benefit if you keep at it.

2. City Names and Neighborhoods Reign Supreme

Most of the time when people search for something near them they use the name of their neighborhood, city, region, etc. You absolutely want to use these as keywords on your site.

Sure, your business niche keywords are important. If you’re a plumber, you want to go into what services people in your area will be searching for. But just as important, you want to make sure that you target very specific parts of your city where you will be providing those services.

You might be based in Minneapolis-St. Paul, but you may be more local to the Maple Grove suburb and driving across the Twin Cities may not be worth the business. So you will want to make sure you target Maple Grove, MN more than the greater metro area.

Nicknames are just as important in SEO as actual city names. The city I live in is Florence, Alabama. However, the locals more often refer to the general area of the 4 closest towns as The Shoals. So while businesses local to me do list whether they are in Florence, Muscle Shoals, Tuscumbia, or Sheffield, they tend to mainly focus their efforts on the phrase/keyword The Shoals or just Shoals.

We will go into greater depth as to how you can do this later on, but keeping those names in your URLs, headings (especially H1s), blog post titles (and tags and categories, too), image alt tags, page copy, and general website title (or at least the SEO title that you set through plugins like Yoast).

If potential customers are searching for a local business and they have several choices, but one of those choices has several pages that refer to a more specific location they are looking for, that’s the site they’re more likely to visit. Even if that page isn’t necessarily ranked #1.

3. Make Connections with Other Local Businesses

Your goal should be providing the best content you can for your target customers. And sometimes, that means pointing them into a direction of a business that may not be yours. You provide your services, and what some customers need just won’t fall within those boundaries. I would be willing to bet, however, there is another business in your area that could handle their request. And chances are, you know the folks who run that business personally.

Speak with them about their own web presence. You can easily come to agreements to include links to them on your site (and vice versa) — which are great because they’re generally incredibly high quality. You can work with each other for deals and such that are cross-promoted. That way, both businesses will benefit from real-life people who are potential customers.

By partnering up with other local businesses, social networks also open up to you, with more opportunities for commercial growth via YouTube and Facebook search. While these are not as popular as Google in terms of general search, folks look for recommendations for local businesses frequently on Facebook. The more times your business is mentioned, the more you will show up in results and recommendations.

If any of your local businesses run blogs on their site, consider asking them if you can toss a post or two up there. You can generally get a new backlink, reach a new audience, and promote goodwill among your community. Guest blogging may seem like a relic of 2008, but it’s not. If your focus is local SEO, guest blogging is as relevant as ever.

4. Design for Mobile

Everyone is telling us to focus on mobile-first design. That’s never been more important than when focusing on local SEO because 89% of people search for something local on their cellphone at least once a week. Those mobile searchers are also 16% more likely to travel to your physical location within 1 day than desktop-based users. Even more useful than that, 18% of all mobile, local searches result in sales within 1 day. That’s a lot of revenue you don’t want to leave unaccounted for.

To specifically cater to this demographic, there are a few guidelines you should keep in mind specifically for local SEO that may not seem as important for general mobile design.

First, you want to make sure that your business name, address, and phone number (also known as a NAP or citation) are on your home page, prominent, readable, and (most importantly) clickable. 68% of visitors will either click the phone number to call you or click the address to open up directions to your location. Keep in mind, however, that you will want this NAP to be consistent everywhere — so as you set up your Google My Business page, Yelp, TripAdvisor, and so on, keep the same formatting and information. Otherwise, it confuses both the algorithms and users.

While it has nothing to do with SEO itself, integrating a live chat feature, such as WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger, can increase conversions, too. People are used to messaging on mobile devices. It’s a natural extension to reach out to you directly.

Local SEO: Advanced Tactics and Specifics

As you’ve seen above, the basics of local SEO are similar to traditional strategies, but just different enough to warrant special attention. However, if you want to move beyond those foundational tips and truly rank in your local searches, you’re going to need to apply some specific tactics. These can take a while to get in place, but if you’re willing to put in the elbow grease to get them working, they’ll serve you well for a long time.

1. Claim Your Google My Business Page

Outside of having a website of your own, the single most important thing you need to succeed at local SEO is a Google My Business (or GMB) page. Essentially, this is what people see when they search Google for anything remotely related to your business

You will have reviews, location, maps, questions, website links, phone numbers, etc. on the page. The ultimate NAP, really. Additionally, this information is aggregated by Google automatically, but you can take an extra step. I have highlighted the “Own This Business?” link in the image above. You can get much more out of your GMB page by claiming ownership of it, you basically get to post directly to Google as though it were your own blog. That’s awesome.

Once you’ve verified ownership of your business, start customizing the GMB page using the same strategies as above.

2. Leverage Review Sites

Similarly to GMB, review sites like Yelp, TripAdvisor, Airbnb, YP.com, Facebook, and so many more are paramount to your local SEO efforts. If you haven’t claimed these business pages, go to the sites and grab them. You get many of the same benefits as you do with GMB — the customization for keywords, URLs, and the domain authority from links make this worth your time.

Additionally, you can use a plugin like WP Business Reviews to aggregate and grab multiple reviews that you want to highlight as testimonials on your site. Because Google loves testimonials for local SEO. They’re a trust signal that indicates to both the algorithms and people that you do what you say you do.

3. Utilize Facebook Groups

This one is quick and easy. If you keep up with your Facebook page as a local business (and you should because of the number of searches that can direct to you), a good habit to get into is posting in your local buy, sell, trade groups. Make checking these groups a regular part of your social strategy. Don’t spam them, obviously, but these are generally public groups that show up in searches, and depending on your area, can be incredibly active with hundreds of posts per day and thousands of users. That’s a lot of traffic for your menu or new products or anything else that you post.

Just make sure to follow any and all group guidelines so you don’t get blacklisted or worse…a bad reputation.

Finding these groups is pretty straightforward. Simply searching (inside Facebook) for MyCityName buy sell trade will likely bring many of them up. For my local area, the term sale barn is popular for groups, and other keywords like swap and marketplace and bazaar tend to work their way into titles.

You can also use this strategy to post items for sale in the official Facebook Marketplace (it’s in the main toolbar of the mobile app). Do this sparingly, but as you post items or services within your business niche, many people who searched for similar things in the past will get notifications of your new post.

4. Get Listed in Local and Niche Directories

Your local Chamber of Commerce probably has a directory of local businesses that are members. Those are links with good domain authority (probably) and generally decent traffic. You may have a state-wide directory like Alabama does through AL.com. Note that our local Chamber of Commerce shows up.

(When I was working on a book festival a few years ago, I found a niche directory made up of local festivals of all kinds in Alabama. Multiple people told me they found us through it, too. That impressed on me how useful those tools can be!)

These kinds of directories are great because they tend to target the exact demographics that you do. So take the time, search them out, and get a few links back to your site. Just make sure that you’re submitting to reputable sites. Not every directory is worth having a link from, but many are. Not only will you show up in their interior searches, but your individual page will come up in results and give people your NAP.

Moz has a good overview of how to vet the local business directories you come across. It’s a good read, like pretty much everything from Moz.

5. Make Sure Your Schema is Right

Schema.org does a lot of good for websites. Many SEO plugins like Yoast already optimize your site’s schema to talk to the search engines correctly. But you will want to make sure that your own website’s schema is also optimized with the local business markup that Schema.org lists. When you look through that list, you might be overwhelmed. I kind of am, so don’t feel bad. That’s why there are tons of schema plugins out there like Structured Data Schema or WPSSO that let you customize exactly how you want your data to appear.

6. Use Moz Local

This one may not be for everyone, as Moz Local is a paid tool that can come with a hefty price tag (from $99 to $249 per year). But if you can afford it and really want to take your local SEO game to the next level, check out the small business tool. You won’t be disappointed.

Moz is my personal favorite of all the SERP and SEM tools online, and with Moz Local, it’s drilling down another level. You get rankings and analytics of much of the stuff we talked about in this article already, and you don’t have to do the legwork yourself.

For a lot of people, that will be worth the price of admission. For others, maybe not. Regardless, the tool is pretty nifty and worth at least a cursory glance.

Final Thoughts

Local SEO is not necessary for everyone. If you don’t need local traffic and do most of your business online to audiences abroad, you should absolutely stick to worrying about traditional SEO tactics. But if you do have a physical location that makes up for a sizable portion (or really any portion) of your business done, you should focus on local SEO.

They say that word-of-mouth is the best advertising, and these days, word-of-mouth seems to happen on Yelp and Facebook and Google more often than in person. So do an audit of your site, traditional SEO strategies, and current local SEO strategies. Then you can start from the top of this post, work your way down, and watch those numbers in your ledger rise.

What is your strategy for standing out with local SEO?

Article featured image by Aa Amie / shutterstock.com

The post Local SEO: An Easy to Understand Guide appeared first on Elegant Themes Blog.

😉SiliconWeb Dev. | 🌐ElegantThemes

[studio-elan]

How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out?

Debating whether or not to be best friends with benefits is a big decision. You have to figure out if it works & if you want to risk friendship first. People have needs. One of those needs involves something really naughty, but fun. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the luxury of meeting someone we want to date and sex toys just aren’t the same as a real person. When that happens, many turn to the idea of best friends with benefits. You get all the perks of having sex with someone you really like without the emotional baggage. It’s perfect for people who aren’t ready for a relationship and can handle banging a bestie instead of someone they have real feelings for. You have to be careful when feelings aren’t involved with sex The truth is that many best friends with benefits situations don’t really work out. Emotions usually end up coming into play and both or one of the people just can’t do it anymore. It can be fun for a while but if you’re not careful and you’re not doing it with someone who can handle themselves, it might not be worth it. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship] What you need to make best friends with benefits work out If you want to give it a try, more power to you! Going into this type of arrangement can be super beneficial to both people if you prepare ahead of time. Here’s what you’ll both need to do if you want this to work out. #1 No feelings. If you really want to make this type of arrangement work, nobody can develop romantic feelings for the other. When those types of emotions start spinning, they’ll get out of control. Having sex with someone you have real feelings for will only make them more complex and deep. #2 Open communication. This isn’t someone you can just bang and then forget about until the next time. They’re still your best friend. You have to be open to talking about everything. Not only will this make for better sex, but you’ll have an overall more pleasant experience. You won’t be wondering when they’re going to come around. You’ll also be able to tell them if things get too serious for you. #3 A desire to please each other. You can’t have sex with someone who really doesn’t care if you have a good time. That’ll just make it bad for you. Even though you don’t have romantic feelings for them, you should still want to make sure they have fun in bed with you. And that means they have to feel the same. You want to make sure you’re both putting forth effort to please the other. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: What women want in bed but are too ashamed to ask for] #4 A really strong friendship. You two are friends, after all. If you want things to work out and keep your best friend after you’re done with your fun, it has to be a strong friendship. If it’s only decently fun, it won’t survive something as complicated as a best friends with benefits situation. #5 Keep it safe. Condoms are your best friend now, not just them. You have to be sure you’re using protection and that you’re both clean going into it. Not only will you avoid any nasty situations, but you’ll also prevent pregnancy – something that will, for obvious reasons, make your friendship a lot more complicated. #6 Don’t go blabbing about it to other friends. It’s really up to you to decide if you want to tell people or not but it’s not recommended. When you share the same group of friends, things can get complicated when you tell people you’re sleeping together. They can start treating you differently. Worst of all, they’ll automatically assume you have romantic feelings for each other and will continuously try to make you two see it. That can really put a damper on the fun. [Read: How to start a friends with benefits relationship] #7 Set ground rules. You can’t go into a best friends with benefits situation without some rules. You have to decide if you’re exclusively only sleeping with each other or if it’s open game. Also make sure you discuss what happens when you want to end things and so forth. Having boundaries is better for everyone and will help you both make the most of your romps. #8 Don’t treat each other like partners. They’re not your partner and they’re not a stand in until someone better comes along. So don’t treat them that way. You have to stop yourself from falling into the same routine you would if you were dating each other. [Read: 10 reasons why sex can never really be just sex] Why best friends with benefits doesn’t often succeed Most people can’t handle a physical relationship without the feelings. Eventually issues arise because of this but if you know what to avoid, it can help your best friends with benefits arrangement work. #1 Nothing is ever said. This refers to just about everything. Nothing is said when you’re having sex in order to make it better and you don’t talk about issues if they arise. Keeping your mouth shut isn’t the best when you have this type of arrangement. You have to know when they need space and even if they want to do something else. Without being able to talk, this just won’t work out. [Read: 7 reasons women don’t understand men’s communication style] #2 Disrespecting boundaries. You set your boundaries for a reason. They’re there so you can make sure nobody is getting hurt. When one or both of you isn’t respecting what the other person has said, things will go downhill fast. Not only will the benefits be over, but the friendship might be, too. #3 Losing the friendship. Half the fun of being best friends with benefits is that you actually enjoy each other’s company. If you let sex ruin the good times you have that aren’t sexual, the entire thing will be out of whack. And when the benefits stop, you’ll end up losing a friend. Maintain the friendship by not changing anything else. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean everything is different. [Read: 10 surefire ways to stay friends after having sex] #4 Everyone finds out and treats you differently. You can certainly let people know you’re sleeping together, but it’s not a good idea. A lot of people treat those having sex a lot differently – especially in your friends group. When this happens, you’ll get annoyed and want to end things so it’ll stop. #5 Someone can’t handle it. Sex complicates things immensely. Even if you follow all these rules, one or both of you can slip up and not be able to handle it. And when that happens, you’re better off just stopping everything. No good will come from one person not being okay while the other is just fine. [Read: 16 annoyances of long-term FWBs] The truth is that best friends with benefits relationships can certainly work out if you know how to go into them. Follow these tips and you’ll have all the sex without the struggle. The post How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out?

Debating whether or not to be best friends with benefits is a big decision. You have to figure out if it works & if you want to risk friendship first.

People have needs. One of those needs involves something really naughty, but fun. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the luxury of meeting someone we want to date and sex toys just aren’t the same as a real person. When that happens, many turn to the idea of best friends with benefits.

You get all the perks of having sex with someone you really like without the emotional baggage. It’s perfect for people who aren’t ready for a relationship and can handle banging a bestie instead of someone they have real feelings for.

You have to be careful when feelings aren’t involved with sex

The truth is that many best friends with benefits situations don’t really work out. Emotions usually end up coming into play and both or one of the people just can’t do it anymore. It can be fun for a while but if you’re not careful and you’re not doing it with someone who can handle themselves, it might not be worth it. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship]

What you need to make best friends with benefits work out

If you want to give it a try, more power to you! Going into this type of arrangement can be super beneficial to both people if you prepare ahead of time. Here’s what you’ll both need to do if you want this to work out.

#1 No feelings. If you really want to make this type of arrangement work, nobody can develop romantic feelings for the other. When those types of emotions start spinning, they’ll get out of control. Having sex with someone you have real feelings for will only make them more complex and deep.

#2 Open communication. This isn’t someone you can just bang and then forget about until the next time. They’re still your best friend. You have to be open to talking about everything.

Not only will this make for better sex, but you’ll have an overall more pleasant experience. You won’t be wondering when they’re going to come around. You’ll also be able to tell them if things get too serious for you.

#3 A desire to please each other. You can’t have sex with someone who really doesn’t care if you have a good time. That’ll just make it bad for you. Even though you don’t have romantic feelings for them, you should still want to make sure they have fun in bed with you.

And that means they have to feel the same. You want to make sure you’re both putting forth effort to please the other. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: What women want in bed but are too ashamed to ask for]

#4 A really strong friendship. You two are friends, after all. If you want things to work out and keep your best friend after you’re done with your fun, it has to be a strong friendship. If it’s only decently fun, it won’t survive something as complicated as a best friends with benefits situation.

#5 Keep it safe. Condoms are your best friend now, not just them. You have to be sure you’re using protection and that you’re both clean going into it.

Not only will you avoid any nasty situations, but you’ll also prevent pregnancy – something that will, for obvious reasons, make your friendship a lot more complicated.

#6 Don’t go blabbing about it to other friends. It’s really up to you to decide if you want to tell people or not but it’s not recommended. When you share the same group of friends, things can get complicated when you tell people you’re sleeping together.

They can start treating you differently. Worst of all, they’ll automatically assume you have romantic feelings for each other and will continuously try to make you two see it. That can really put a damper on the fun. [Read: How to start a friends with benefits relationship]

#7 Set ground rules. You can’t go into a best friends with benefits situation without some rules. You have to decide if you’re exclusively only sleeping with each other or if it’s open game.

Also make sure you discuss what happens when you want to end things and so forth. Having boundaries is better for everyone and will help you both make the most of your romps.

#8 Don’t treat each other like partners. They’re not your partner and they’re not a stand in until someone better comes along. So don’t treat them that way. You have to stop yourself from falling into the same routine you would if you were dating each other. [Read: 10 reasons why sex can never really be just sex]

Why best friends with benefits doesn’t often succeed

Most people can’t handle a physical relationship without the feelings. Eventually issues arise because of this but if you know what to avoid, it can help your best friends with benefits arrangement work.

#1 Nothing is ever said. This refers to just about everything. Nothing is said when you’re having sex in order to make it better and you don’t talk about issues if they arise. Keeping your mouth shut isn’t the best when you have this type of arrangement.

You have to know when they need space and even if they want to do something else. Without being able to talk, this just won’t work out. [Read: 7 reasons women don’t understand men’s communication style]

#2 Disrespecting boundaries. You set your boundaries for a reason. They’re there so you can make sure nobody is getting hurt. When one or both of you isn’t respecting what the other person has said, things will go downhill fast. Not only will the benefits be over, but the friendship might be, too.

#3 Losing the friendship. Half the fun of being best friends with benefits is that you actually enjoy each other’s company. If you let sex ruin the good times you have that aren’t sexual, the entire thing will be out of whack.

And when the benefits stop, you’ll end up losing a friend. Maintain the friendship by not changing anything else. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean everything is different. [Read: 10 surefire ways to stay friends after having sex]

#4 Everyone finds out and treats you differently. You can certainly let people know you’re sleeping together, but it’s not a good idea. A lot of people treat those having sex a lot differently – especially in your friends group. When this happens, you’ll get annoyed and want to end things so it’ll stop.

#5 Someone can’t handle it. Sex complicates things immensely. Even if you follow all these rules, one or both of you can slip up and not be able to handle it. And when that happens, you’re better off just stopping everything. No good will come from one person not being okay while the other is just fine.

[Read: 16 annoyances of long-term FWBs]

The truth is that best friends with benefits relationships can certainly work out if you know how to go into them. Follow these tips and you’ll have all the sex without the struggle.

The post How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[studio-elan]

How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out?

Debating whether or not to be best friends with benefits is a big decision. You have to figure out if it works & if you want to risk friendship first. People have needs. One of those needs involves something really naughty, but fun. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the luxury of meeting someone we want to date and sex toys just aren’t the same as a real person. When that happens, many turn to the idea of best friends with benefits. You get all the perks of having sex with someone you really like without the emotional baggage. It’s perfect for people who aren’t ready for a relationship and can handle banging a bestie instead of someone they have real feelings for. You have to be careful when feelings aren’t involved with sex The truth is that many best friends with benefits situations don’t really work out. Emotions usually end up coming into play and both or one of the people just can’t do it anymore. It can be fun for a while but if you’re not careful and you’re not doing it with someone who can handle themselves, it might not be worth it. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship] What you need to make best friends with benefits work out If you want to give it a try, more power to you! Going into this type of arrangement can be super beneficial to both people if you prepare ahead of time. Here’s what you’ll both need to do if you want this to work out. #1 No feelings. If you really want to make this type of arrangement work, nobody can develop romantic feelings for the other. When those types of emotions start spinning, they’ll get out of control. Having sex with someone you have real feelings for will only make them more complex and deep. #2 Open communication. This isn’t someone you can just bang and then forget about until the next time. They’re still your best friend. You have to be open to talking about everything. Not only will this make for better sex, but you’ll have an overall more pleasant experience. You won’t be wondering when they’re going to come around. You’ll also be able to tell them if things get too serious for you. #3 A desire to please each other. You can’t have sex with someone who really doesn’t care if you have a good time. That’ll just make it bad for you. Even though you don’t have romantic feelings for them, you should still want to make sure they have fun in bed with you. And that means they have to feel the same. You want to make sure you’re both putting forth effort to please the other. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: What women want in bed but are too ashamed to ask for] #4 A really strong friendship. You two are friends, after all. If you want things to work out and keep your best friend after you’re done with your fun, it has to be a strong friendship. If it’s only decently fun, it won’t survive something as complicated as a best friends with benefits situation. #5 Keep it safe. Condoms are your best friend now, not just them. You have to be sure you’re using protection and that you’re both clean going into it. Not only will you avoid any nasty situations, but you’ll also prevent pregnancy – something that will, for obvious reasons, make your friendship a lot more complicated. #6 Don’t go blabbing about it to other friends. It’s really up to you to decide if you want to tell people or not but it’s not recommended. When you share the same group of friends, things can get complicated when you tell people you’re sleeping together. They can start treating you differently. Worst of all, they’ll automatically assume you have romantic feelings for each other and will continuously try to make you two see it. That can really put a damper on the fun. [Read: How to start a friends with benefits relationship] #7 Set ground rules. You can’t go into a best friends with benefits situation without some rules. You have to decide if you’re exclusively only sleeping with each other or if it’s open game. Also make sure you discuss what happens when you want to end things and so forth. Having boundaries is better for everyone and will help you both make the most of your romps. #8 Don’t treat each other like partners. They’re not your partner and they’re not a stand in until someone better comes along. So don’t treat them that way. You have to stop yourself from falling into the same routine you would if you were dating each other. [Read: 10 reasons why sex can never really be just sex] Why best friends with benefits doesn’t often succeed Most people can’t handle a physical relationship without the feelings. Eventually issues arise because of this but if you know what to avoid, it can help your best friends with benefits arrangement work. #1 Nothing is ever said. This refers to just about everything. Nothing is said when you’re having sex in order to make it better and you don’t talk about issues if they arise. Keeping your mouth shut isn’t the best when you have this type of arrangement. You have to know when they need space and even if they want to do something else. Without being able to talk, this just won’t work out. [Read: 7 reasons women don’t understand men’s communication style] #2 Disrespecting boundaries. You set your boundaries for a reason. They’re there so you can make sure nobody is getting hurt. When one or both of you isn’t respecting what the other person has said, things will go downhill fast. Not only will the benefits be over, but the friendship might be, too. #3 Losing the friendship. Half the fun of being best friends with benefits is that you actually enjoy each other’s company. If you let sex ruin the good times you have that aren’t sexual, the entire thing will be out of whack. And when the benefits stop, you’ll end up losing a friend. Maintain the friendship by not changing anything else. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean everything is different. [Read: 10 surefire ways to stay friends after having sex] #4 Everyone finds out and treats you differently. You can certainly let people know you’re sleeping together, but it’s not a good idea. A lot of people treat those having sex a lot differently – especially in your friends group. When this happens, you’ll get annoyed and want to end things so it’ll stop. #5 Someone can’t handle it. Sex complicates things immensely. Even if you follow all these rules, one or both of you can slip up and not be able to handle it. And when that happens, you’re better off just stopping everything. No good will come from one person not being okay while the other is just fine. [Read: 16 annoyances of long-term FWBs] The truth is that best friends with benefits relationships can certainly work out if you know how to go into them. Follow these tips and you’ll have all the sex without the struggle. The post How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[russellthornton]

How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out?

Debating whether or not to be best friends with benefits is a big decision. You have to figure out if it works & if you want to risk friendship first.

People have needs. One of those needs involves something really naughty, but fun. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the luxury of meeting someone we want to date and sex toys just aren’t the same as a real person. When that happens, many turn to the idea of best friends with benefits.

You get all the perks of having sex with someone you really like without the emotional baggage. It’s perfect for people who aren’t ready for a relationship and can handle banging a bestie instead of someone they have real feelings for.

You have to be careful when feelings aren’t involved with sex

The truth is that many best friends with benefits situations don’t really work out. Emotions usually end up coming into play and both or one of the people just can’t do it anymore. It can be fun for a while but if you’re not careful and you’re not doing it with someone who can handle themselves, it might not be worth it. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship]

What you need to make best friends with benefits work out

If you want to give it a try, more power to you! Going into this type of arrangement can be super beneficial to both people if you prepare ahead of time. Here’s what you’ll both need to do if you want this to work out.

#1 No feelings. If you really want to make this type of arrangement work, nobody can develop romantic feelings for the other. When those types of emotions start spinning, they’ll get out of control. Having sex with someone you have real feelings for will only make them more complex and deep.

#2 Open communication. This isn’t someone you can just bang and then forget about until the next time. They’re still your best friend. You have to be open to talking about everything.

Not only will this make for better sex, but you’ll have an overall more pleasant experience. You won’t be wondering when they’re going to come around. You’ll also be able to tell them if things get too serious for you.

#3 A desire to please each other. You can’t have sex with someone who really doesn’t care if you have a good time. That’ll just make it bad for you. Even though you don’t have romantic feelings for them, you should still want to make sure they have fun in bed with you.

And that means they have to feel the same. You want to make sure you’re both putting forth effort to please the other. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: What women want in bed but are too ashamed to ask for]

#4 A really strong friendship. You two are friends, after all. If you want things to work out and keep your best friend after you’re done with your fun, it has to be a strong friendship. If it’s only decently fun, it won’t survive something as complicated as a best friends with benefits situation.

#5 Keep it safe. Condoms are your best friend now, not just them. You have to be sure you’re using protection and that you’re both clean going into it.

Not only will you avoid any nasty situations, but you’ll also prevent pregnancy – something that will, for obvious reasons, make your friendship a lot more complicated.

#6 Don’t go blabbing about it to other friends. It’s really up to you to decide if you want to tell people or not but it’s not recommended. When you share the same group of friends, things can get complicated when you tell people you’re sleeping together.

They can start treating you differently. Worst of all, they’ll automatically assume you have romantic feelings for each other and will continuously try to make you two see it. That can really put a damper on the fun. [Read: How to start a friends with benefits relationship]

#7 Set ground rules. You can’t go into a best friends with benefits situation without some rules. You have to decide if you’re exclusively only sleeping with each other or if it’s open game.

Also make sure you discuss what happens when you want to end things and so forth. Having boundaries is better for everyone and will help you both make the most of your romps.

#8 Don’t treat each other like partners. They’re not your partner and they’re not a stand in until someone better comes along. So don’t treat them that way. You have to stop yourself from falling into the same routine you would if you were dating each other. [Read: 10 reasons why sex can never really be just sex]

Why best friends with benefits doesn’t often succeed

Most people can’t handle a physical relationship without the feelings. Eventually issues arise because of this but if you know what to avoid, it can help your best friends with benefits arrangement work.

#1 Nothing is ever said. This refers to just about everything. Nothing is said when you’re having sex in order to make it better and you don’t talk about issues if they arise. Keeping your mouth shut isn’t the best when you have this type of arrangement.

You have to know when they need space and even if they want to do something else. Without being able to talk, this just won’t work out. [Read: 7 reasons women don’t understand men’s communication style]

#2 Disrespecting boundaries. You set your boundaries for a reason. They’re there so you can make sure nobody is getting hurt. When one or both of you isn’t respecting what the other person has said, things will go downhill fast. Not only will the benefits be over, but the friendship might be, too.

#3 Losing the friendship. Half the fun of being best friends with benefits is that you actually enjoy each other’s company. If you let sex ruin the good times you have that aren’t sexual, the entire thing will be out of whack.

And when the benefits stop, you’ll end up losing a friend. Maintain the friendship by not changing anything else. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean everything is different. [Read: 10 surefire ways to stay friends after having sex]

#4 Everyone finds out and treats you differently. You can certainly let people know you’re sleeping together, but it’s not a good idea. A lot of people treat those having sex a lot differently – especially in your friends group. When this happens, you’ll get annoyed and want to end things so it’ll stop.

#5 Someone can’t handle it. Sex complicates things immensely. Even if you follow all these rules, one or both of you can slip up and not be able to handle it. And when that happens, you’re better off just stopping everything. No good will come from one person not being okay while the other is just fine.

[Read: 16 annoyances of long-term FWBs]

The truth is that best friends with benefits relationships can certainly work out if you know how to go into them. Follow these tips and you’ll have all the sex without the struggle.

The post How Does Being Best Friends with Benefits Really Work Out? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.