#i literally told myself i wouldnt
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so i may or may not have just made an entire oc while taking a shower
#i did#she's a banshee#i literally told myself i wouldnt#because two of my favorite art/ask blogs already have banshees#anyway if crystallizedtwilight or ask-lock-shock-and-barrel see this#uh#idk hi ig#my ocs#my ocs <3
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#okay sorry for venting but i’ve been processing that session for months#like im the one who fucked up that session because i couldnt make myself say anything and actually naming any problem i have#felt like im begging to have a bunch of excuses#and god that paychologist really made me feel like i imagined all of that for attention and now im back here again and im once again#realizing my brain is just fucked up and what do i do now because if i went to a session now#i would be in the same situation where i can’t say anything that actually bothers me#so i guess im in deep shit forever or at least until i stop having some fucking mental block or whatever#im just fucking tired bro…….#she told me everyone is a little bit autsitic and that’s it WHAT#bro if i had little enough symptoms of whatever that i could do stuff by myself anyway i wouldnt fucking be ghere paying 200zł for the most#ruining hours of my life thank you so much.#instead i have to use everyone in my life as a crutch because i literally just can’t function without help IUOUOUGHHH#god im so sorry okay im gone im just really going through it rn#vent
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i always get nervous posting my art bc i feel like i draw him Different than how other ppl do but i guess that is a good thing kinda. peace and love. god bless🙏
#im in love with him btw. in case anyone didnt know#licorice cookie#cookie run#my art#i have more art but ^^ i stay silly#idk i feel weird posting my stuff online nowadays even though i literally need to if i wanna get a job making art😭#i used to post it all the time but being in a Fandom and feeling insecure abt the kinda different way i see media made me so sad and angry#im a lot better now but its... *sigh* yea guys it actually does help to interact with your friends irl and stay off of social media sorry#anyways omg i have so many ideas and stuff for my oc and licorie but i dont wanna be cringey!!!!!! i feel like nobody cares so i jus keep#it to myself but if anyone wants to see stuff i wouldnt mind it if u told me sumhow..
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"Mercedes chief strategist James Vowles has revealed he took part in the Asian Le Mans series but did not promote it out of fear he would embarrass himself." [x]
#james vowles#merc crew#williams crew#hes so me fr#i once traveled to another part of the country to compete in a sports event and told literally nobody so i wouldnt embarrass myself
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Bro. The contrast between these 2 doodles I did of him xD
Silly lil man Wally & Oh lord he has fangs Wally widjskwsjdsk
#my art#fan art#digital art#doodle#art#sketch#welcome home#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#wh wally#little man wally#wally with teeth#omg i cant#I literally told myself I wouldnt draw him with them yet I did#im dying wocjsjidjsks halp
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the most insane and unrealistic thing about the finale of supernatural is how sam just had a normal life after all that like i know that was his dream for the longest time and he deserved it but imagine spending decades hunting literal monsters with ur brother and angel best friend and uve stopped multiple apocalypses and saved the world countless times and then u just. move on ??? nah
#imagine ure getting dinner with ur wife and kid n u suddenly remember eating shitty diner food with ur brother after uve just killed vamps#and u remember that time u watched ur bother spread his best friends ashes by the windmill#and u remember u literally had a kid who then became god#and u have nothing except for the car#nothing to remember them by just those memories#i wouldve killed myself#im gonna throw up#thats so fucked uppppp how did he ever like stop thinking about his past for 2 seconds even#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#destiel#castiel#sam winchester#u spent most of ur life doing something so. insane and crazy and rewarding that 90% of people wouldnt believe u if u told them#and u have to pretend like it never happened#because u cant tell anyone#because they wouldn't understand#or rather i wouldn't have told anyone because i wouldn't have trusted them with my memories#thats soooooo fucked up im gonna throw up#im sick to my stomach truly
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why is literally everyone on my sonic tomodachi life island in love with shadow as if theres not other people to choose from and hes not gonna reject them every time . stop creating a love spiderweb with some guy whos not even interested in you
#at one point i kept ending up in scenarios where one mii would try to confess and a bunch of others would show up to interrupt#and they would all get rejected lmao .. most have moved on by now though after getting rejected so many times or finding someone else#but ill still occasionally get an ''im in love with shadow !!! '' even though. hes already taken#silver is the one who managed to win him over btw if anyone is curious .#list of people who have tried to date shadow off the top of my head: silver espio blaze amy#and sticks just told me shes in love with him too NO YOURE NOT . STOP#even knuckles got in on it once. and hes literally already dating sonic ??#i mean knuckles has two hands but polyamory isnt a thing in this game sooo#amy and blaze and espio were particularly desperate...#i made it a rule for myself to try to avoid forcing any particular couples#and to just let any ships happen as long as they dont have weird age gaps or otherwise make me uncomfortable#(which is how i ended up with shadilver even though im not really into that pairing)#but i made a mii of tekno JUST to give amy a decent romantic option. because she wouldnt stop asking about shadow#and i kept ignoring her or telling her not to get with shadow and she wouldnt give it up#and it was getting on my nerves because sha/damy is one of those ships on my ''not going to let these happen no matter what'' list#well shes with tekno now and she also stopped asking about shadow so much once he got with silver so. its fine#and blaze ended up finding someone else too. not espio though hes still single. but thats fine#i dont need every single mii paired off idgaf about that#tomodachiposting
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pre-bought Wicked (2024) tickets😔for a preview showing on November 20th😔I am cooked chat😔
#told myself i wouldnt go the first week and im not that excited for it#ticket presale started two days ago and I've already cracked#literally cooked
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AHHHHHABSBDJDJD OMGOMGOMGMG I DID SOSO GOOD I RAN THAT ENTIRE 5K IN 28:55 OKMFMGGNFANAM
#AND I GOT A RIBBON FOR PLACING 66th#OH MY GOD#I LEGIT WAS DYING AT THE END. WHEEZING AND LITERALLY ALMOST SCREAMING BECAUSE I JUST COULDNT#BUT I PUSHED THROUGH I RAN AS HARD AS I COULD#THE GIRL IN FRONT OF MEONLY GOT AHEAD BY .2 SECONDS MAN#IF YOU TOLD ME FROM FRESHMAN YEAR THAT I WAS DOING TJIS WELL#THE SAME FRESHMAN WHO DIDNT EVEN LIKE XC AND WANTED TO KILL THEMSELF#THAT HE WAS RUNNING 28:55 5KS AND LOVING IT THEY WOULDNT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU DUDE#My pace was actually insane…I don’t know what got into me really#it was 82 degrees and I had to wait ALL DAY to run and yesterday at practice I ran it in roughly 31 minutes#My god the progression is insane#So proud of myself dude#S.K runs
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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sorry im a god gale truther btw i DO think he should get to usurp mystra and ascend to godhood and i do think that should be an absolutely awful thing to happen to him but also literally everyone else. sorry
#bg3#not main tagging this further bc its. mad man 1:30am rambles#but listen. mh.#ok so. heres the thing.#while i do think. their relationship was absolutely fucked. and yeah we can argue for grooming and or abuse.#i also dont QUITE enjoy how ppl make gale like. the poor poor totally blameless victim. like. mh#how to phrase this so it DOESNT sound victim blame-y. but like.#from how i interpret the things he told & what the game shows.#my mans REALLY struggles with No's and rejection. and i wouldn't just put that as a Mystra Aftermath Thing#he WAS forbidden from trying to ascend/was told by her she wouldnt make him an equal. and his response basically was.#'but let me prove i am worthy of this'#which yeah. plays into the fucked up self worth. ill get back to that.#plus the uh. touch the orb scene? he just. grabs your hand and pulls it towards him because he WANTS to show you this. Now.#any rejection within the relationship? I Should Blow Myself Up#he got that gifted kid energy of everything always came easily to him and yet it wasnt ever enough and the relationship w a literal goddess.#certainly didnt help that.#so hes constantly reaching for more. and thats a fault of his because he will do that even if told not to because#at the same time he thinks of himself as smart enough to actually Get to that More.#and yknow w the orb? he literally. got So Badly Burned. is it deterring him? nnnnnnot really.#and i think. godhood would. idk i think he could do it. and i think it still wouldn't be enough.#and having an all powerful deity who ALSO a) still never is satisfied with his amount of power and control and b) thinks he know better than#anyone and could do better than anyone#sounds like its gonna fucking suck#anyways im rotating this all in my brain + ofc the delicious bloodweave combo of ascended astarion + new god gale bc thats just. ough#the mess. of this combo.
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I always say i hate pills then i take one and im all better. Thank you pills
#Listen to my problems#had something funny happen to me this afternoon. ive been telling people i despise shellfish specifically oysters and clams#and today i had an oyster for the first time in a long time and it was like delicious#and then i unlocked a memory where i told my sister i hated oysters so i could trade one to her because i knew she liked oysters and i knew#she wouldnt question me or argue with me if i just told her i didnt like the taste so i started telling everyone that for some reason i kept#up the charade even without the original audience it was meant for. and it literally has been like a decade or so and i had my first oyster#in ten years and it was awesome. not going to stop telling people i dislike them though because its funny#like really just proved to myself i could live without it#but also convinced myself i hated oysters for no reason ?? like i ate it with trepidation and was pleasantly surprised by the taste and#texture of it and then i remembered i dont actually hate oysters that was crazy
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turn your anon off and that'll REALLY force them to get confront. (which they won't, and i know i'm a bit silly for saying this since i'm on anonskejsj i'm shy) but actually turn it off. you'll see that you'll be free of these false allegations
this me rn bc YOU'RE RIGHT 😭 i have been told to many times, but 😭 i didn't want shut any of my friends out 😭 even if it meant some little buggies came in 😭 but — i suppose i must 🥺 to further prove my point 🥺 i am blowing kisses to all my shy pals and faceless friends out the window !! just for now !!!!! love you all 🥺🩷✨️
#no hate for my shy girlies (gn) i love my shy girlies (gn)#i'm a shy girlie (gn) myself !!!!!#literally everyone has told me to do this and i wouldnt LOL akfhsiakak#but !! here we are !!!#regular emojis no longer do it for me i need you to see my discord ones LOL#✿ ask willow
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like its amazing people can tell me to my face over and over that they care about me and like being around me and whatever
but all it takes to undo it is just 'they say that out of pity because their kind good people'
#because like what!#im being whiney and shitty about myself#what are they suppous to say#no we HATE you and we DO find you gross but were too polite to say it#i have good people in my life who wouldnt say that shit#but i the fact of humans is i will never know if thats 100% true#i literally just have to rely on what is being told to me and hope its true#but its so hard to beleive it when i see myself and think#no fuckin way bro!!!!
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