#i literally made him multiple things over the course of DAYS[!!!] that i was gonna give him tonite but i DIDNT GET THE CHANCE BECAUSE

[goodnightwindy]

mfw my fuckass crush decides to FINALLY show up to the one frequent event im almost always able to attend , tells me he's bringing me a late birthday gift bc he didn't get to see me on my birthday , and then does show up but tells me he forgot the gift and then vanishes ten minutes later and i only find out on the drive home that literally the whole time he was vaping outside the building with his fucking girlfriend

[allywthsr]

FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT | (l.norris)

summary: Lando and you talk about the cheating rumors, you find out the truth and you solve things between each other. Part two to Reckless

wordcount: 5.4k words

pairing: landonorris x singer!femreader

warnings: panic attack, crying (let me know if I missed anything)

notes: the love part one got, made my heart throb. Thank you!!!! I hope you like whatever I wrote there, also the first time I used text messages and tweets, tell me what you think about them!! I used follow the white rabbit by Madison Beer for this part! I deleted some lyrics, hope you don’t mind.

You were not ready for Lando to come home. Not ready at all.

You didn’t know who you should believe, him or the pictures that were posted all over the internet. Of course you wanted to believe him, you‘ve been in a relationship with him for over five years now, he never gave you a reason to doubt him. But the picture literally had proof on them, showing him in the act of kissing this woman. And we‘re not talking a smooch we’re talking full on make out session in the middle of the club. His excuse better be good or you would leave, and if he started to blame the alcohol you would be fuming. Alcohol is not an excuse to kiss other people, even when you‘re drunk you need to think of your significant other.

Normally Lando wasn’t even planing to come home, the plan was that he flew straight to Belgium for the next race weekend and you would join him there, but now you weren’t sure if you wanted to go and see him race, even if things cleared between you two. But you weren’t sure if they would, even when there was an explanation for it, he still kissed this girl and met up with her multiple times in Monaco. And there‘s no denying it, there were pictures that clearly showed him with her.

You wanted things fixed with him, you loved him with your whole heart, he was your person. What are you gonna do if things didn’t work out? Move back to your home country? Stay in Monaco? Move somewhere you‘ve never lived before? You had absolutely no clue.

The wait felt like days, you walked around your apartment, cleaning here and there, trying to calm your nerves. You settled in the living room waiting for Lando to arrive. After three and a half hours you finally heard the door unlock, now your heartbeat fastened, you had the feeling that your heart was going to jump out of your chest, and you thought that you were going to faint. Too scared that things won’t work out and you‘ve spent the last five and a half years with Lando for nothing. You wanted to marry him, you wanted to have children with him, you wanted to build your forever home, you wanted to get a dog, and you couldn’t imagine all these things with someone else. You did not think you could ever love someone as much as you loved him.

”Y/N?“, you froze. Nope, you wanted to leave, this was too much for you. You couldn’t talk with him, look him in the eye or be in his presence.

You didn’t answer him, you wanted to but when you tried to speak, nothing came out.

”Y/N, are you there?“, he asked again. Tears started to form in your eyes, you were fucking scared. And before anything else happened you started to feel a panic attack coming, something you‘ve been familiar with but especially in the last hours had constantly. You started shaking and crying silently, breathing way too fast and not being able to help yourself getting out of it, you curled into a little ball, hugging your knees while putting your head on them while you rocked back and forth.

So when you heard footsteps nearing, you panicked even more. By now you were shaking uncontrollably and your sobs got louder and louder, you felt like fainting with the little air you only got. Lightheaded you looked up and saw Lando standing in the middle of the living room.

”Y/N what the fuck, are you okay?“, you just shook your head and before you could take another breath he was next to you on the couch, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tight. The tears were just falling down your face and Lando thought about calling an ambulance. He had experienced you having a panic attack quite often, he even had some himself when he first got to formula one and the pressure became too much but he‘d never seen an attack being that bad. He just hoped his presence would calm you down, as it normally would but after the articles, he wasn’t that sure anymore.

”Hey Y/N, breathe Baby, you need to breathe. Do it like me“, he started to slowly breathe in with his nose loudly and held it in for a few seconds and then blew the air out of his mouth. You really did try to breathe like him, but your sobs interrupted you before you could breathe in. He held you tighter in hopes that he could stop your shaking but it only got worse.

”Is it better if I not touch you? I don’t want that you get worse only because I hug you“, but you just clawed your hands in his arm that was wrapped around your front and shook your head slightly.

”No? You want me to hug you?“, you squeezed his arm tighter and started to lean in his body a little.

”Okay, Baby you need to breathe or I need to call a doctor, this is not healthy and I can’t get you out of this headspace. You‘ll be fine, listen okay? Breath like me.“

You slowly took a breath in and before you could hold it, you let out a sob and another.

”I can’t breathe “, you pressed out of your lungs while trying to get some air.

”I know baby, but you need to come back to me, it‘ll all be fine. We are fine, okay? I love you so much but you need to come back to me love“, you tried so hard to breath normal but the panic attack was stronger and the sobs spilled out of your mouth again.

”I feel like I’m going to faint Lando.“

Now he started to panic, he really has never seen it that bad before, he needed to call a doctor, he couldn’t help you alone.

Then Lando got an idea, he wanted to use a technique you showed him and he never got the chance to try it out but now was the perfect timing.

”Baby I know, let’s do the senses thing you showed me okay?“, you just nodded while shaking.

” What are five things you can see?“

You lift your head from your knees and looked around.

”Y-You, the tab-table“, you took a shaky breath.

”It’s okay baby, take your time and breath.“

”The couch, the plan-plant, the lamp.“

”Good job angel, breath. Now what are four things you can touch?“

”Y-Y-You“, you were interrupted by a sob, ”The couch, my phone, the table.“

”Yes baby, now take a deep breath“, you looked into his eyes and repeated the breathing he did.

”Good, three things you can hear?“

You looked back through the room, focusing on what you can hear at the moment, allowing your brain to calm down.

”Your voice, the neighbors drilling something in the wall and my phone pinging with messages.“

”Exactly“, he pressed a kiss on the side of your head, ”two things you can smell?“

”You and the room perfume I sprayed this morning.“

”Good job love“, he noticed how you were much calmer than he started, barely letting out a sob and only a little shaky.

”And what is one thing you can taste?“

You chuckled, ”You.“

He let out a quiet laugh, ”Yes baby. Breathe okay? Do it with me.“

You turned your face back to his face and after he took a deep breath through his nose, you repeated after him.

”Hold it.“

You nodded and together you hold the air for about five seconds, and after that, you both let the air out through the mouth. He repeated that three more times and after that, you were back to your old self.

”Welcome back love, do you need anything? Water or do you want to lie down? Sleep for an hour?“

You shook your head and answered him with a: ”I need you.“ He whispered an ’Okay‘ and placed his head on yours, enjoying the embrace you guys were still in. After what felt like hours of sitting there, it was probably only ten minutes, he slowly let go of you, and you whined when he did that.

”I‘m gonna get some water and then we can talk, yeah?“

You nodded and let out a breath, too scared to fall back into a panic attack, you weren’t ready for what was coming.

When he came back with two glasses of water and placed them on the little coffee table and sat on the couch across from you, he began.

”So it looks bad, but it’s not like everyone says it happened. Yes, I kissed her, well, she kissed me. But only for two seconds and maybe it looks like a full make out but I swear it was only for like three seconds. She pulled my head down and wrapped my hands around her waist and before I could react she kissed me, but I immediately pushed her away. My brain needed a second to register what was happening because I was in such a shaken state, and that’s where they took a picture.“

”But you hung out with her in Monaco, and she was in Hungary when you were racing.“

”Yes I-“, he didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like he was searching for an excuse but more like the right words, ”I met up with her because she‘s actually the sister of a friend, and he asked me to pick her up because he couldn’t and didn’t want her to walk. I‘ve met her a few times at his‘ and yeah that’s basically it.“

”You literally went with her on a walk after I asked you to go with me to the docks for some fresh air!“, you argued, now getting frustrated.

”Yes and I have no excuse for that. I did go for a walk with her, but I don’t know what to tell you. She wanted us to be friends and friends hang out, so she asked me to meet her at the city.“

”So you ditched me, your girlfriend, for some chick and did not tell me about it? You could literally have asked me to go with you and we could‘ve met up with her.“

”I know and it’s stupid, but I guess I was overwhelmed with the race weekend coming up and so I didn’t thi-“

”No! You do not get to blame this on your job. This is you being a bitch.“

He chuckled, ”I was, but believe me, I never had any intention to do anything with her.“

”But she did!“

”Well, I know that now.“

”And what about my release party? This album is literally about you and you didn’t come? Do you even have an idea how embarrassed I was? Your family was there and they didn’t catch a glimpse of you the whole time they were in Monaco. I stood there all alone talking about how happy you made me and when people asked me about you, I had to tell them you were at the MTC. Everyone thought you were the biggest jerk for leaving when I had an important day. I travel around the world for you, I move meetings, and recording sessions just so I can join you for a race. I asked you to come for one day, one fucking day and you didn���t show. I even put the release date like that, so it wouldn’t be on a race week, so you could attend and my ass wouldn’t be alone. But I was alone, in this room full of people I love, I was alone because you weren’t there. I came home early and you weren’t even home and when I checked your location you were somewhere in Monaco. You could‘ve texted, you could‘ve called, yet - nothing. I thought you had some huge thing planned as a surprise for me but you didn’t even apologize. You just came home late and didn’t even think about me. I cried in our bed and you came in, changed your clothes and fell asleep immediately. Just the next day you said ’Oh I‘m sorry I didn’t come‘ and went on with your day? I literally cried on my release day, but not happy tears, that’s just fucking sad dude. This might not be a big deal to you, but releasing an album isn’t something you do every weekend.“, you started to pick at your sweatpants trying to distract your tears from falling down your cheeks. All the emotions came back from that day.

”I‘m so sorry I made you feel that way. I wanted to come I promise, I even bought that huge bouquet of your favorite flowers but then she called me and“, you let out a scoff, of course she called him, ”told me she her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I was the only one she could reach. I had to help her and it took way longer than I expected, the tow truck took two hours to find our location, so when we finished and I drove her home because her car was in some repair shop, she invited me into her flat and we just had a soda relaxing from all the stress and I forgot to go to the party. I just remembered when I found the flowers in the trunk of my car the next morning, but they were all dead because they didn’t get any water all night long. This is not an excuse, I just want you to know what happened. And nothing will change the fact that I missed one of the most important nights of this year, but I am truly sorry. If I could go back and do it differently, I would immediately but I can’t. And I have no clue how to make it up to you, I could buy you another handbag or whatever but nothing could make it better. I still feel like an idiot, if that helps?“

”Not really, I am still super mad at you, you have no idea.“

”And you have every right to be. But I am really so fucking sorry, I never wanted to make you feel this way.“

”But how did she end up in Hungary?“

”I invited her“, your head turned to his at a speed of light, ”What?!“, you screamed at him.

”This girl is literally flirting with you, trying to get you away from me every second of the day and you invite her to your race? No wonder she kissed you. She must’ve thought this was you telling her it’s something serious.“

”What? Y/N, no, you’re delusional.“

”Lando, I know how girls work, especially the bad ones. You might be my first relationship but my friends have told me about them.“

”But that’s not why I wanted her to come. She asked me if she could ever come to a race because she’s never been. And we had a spare ticket because you didn’t come so I asked her.“

”That’s bullshit, she obviously wanted something from you and you didn’t see it.“

”Well, I‘m sorry. I don’t know what else to tell you. I messed up and I‘m a horrible boyfriend but I can’t change things now. I just know that I never wanted anything from her, I invited her because I thought she was a friend and I helped her with her car because she was a friend. If I had known her intention, I would’ve never even picked her up in the first place.“

”You‘re not a horrible boyfriend. But over the last three weeks, you weren’t a good one either. I felt so alone in this country I never wanted to move to in the first place. Yes, it’s beautiful and all but doesn’t feel like home, I miss my friends so badly, but they‘re all in the UK. And I don’t want to blame you for this because this decision was made by both of us but you told me, you would never leave me alone for long. Because I have barely anyone here. Yes, the girlfriends of your friends but I can live without them as well. I almost booked a flight two weeks ago to go home, because if I’m alone here I can go home alone. This city will never be my forever home, I hope you didn’t forget this.“

”I am sorry Y/N. And of course, I didn’t forget about you not being a hundred percent happy with Monaco, if you want we can start looking at lots to build on in England. Building a house is not something you do in a week, so if you want we start looking for them. I will not leave you alone from now on, I promise.“

”But how are we gonna come back from this?“

”What do you mean?“

”Lando, I can’t just go back to what it was like before it all started. I love you so much, but you also hurt me. And I’m still fucking sad over the things you did, even if you didn’t cheat.“

”I love you too, but you believe me, right? I never wanted anything from her, trust me.“

”I guess, the wounds are still fresh, so I need you to give me time. I need time to heal and get over it.“

”Of course Baby, take all the time you need. I just don’t want us to break up over someone stupid. She‘s not worth any of your tears. She‘s just this stupid bitch, and I know that now.“

”I don’t want us to break up over this as well but I need the time and I will fly home as soon as I can. I don’t want to go to Spa with you, I need time apart to calm down. That doesn’t mean I want a break or anything just some time for myself.“

”Are you sure that’s something you want?“

”No, I need this. I am not happy here and I don’t want to be in the paddock right now, I need some family and friends time and especially time for myself.“

He nodded and stood up. Now he was the one with the glossy eyes and pouting lip.

”Lando, why are you crying?“

You stood up and walked to hug him.

”I am just so sorry Y/N. I never wanted to hurt you and now you need time away from me. Which is fine but I am so fucking sorry“, he let out a quiet sob and the first tear spilled out of his left eye. You hugged him even tighter and now his arms slang around your body to return the hug. His head found its way to your neck and let it rest there, crying quietly. You let him cry everything out and even spilled some tears of your own. This was not a breakup, but you needed time apart. You knew how Lando was, he would do everything to express how sorry he was. Getting you gifts, flowers and whatnot just to suppress his feelings. But you didn’t want that, you wanted him to understand why you were sad and needed to go home, and by buying you gifts he wouldn’t understand.

After holding him in your arms for good five minutes he started to talk again: ”Did you write a song already?“, he slowly lifted his head from your shoulder and looked with his red eyes into yours. You chuckled, ”Yes I did, it’s called Reckless, but I don’t know if I‘ll release it, I mean you didn’t cheat in the end.“

”You should, to show the world what kind of asshole I am.“

”Baby, you’re not an asshole, I love you so much. Never see yourself as anything bad, you just hurt me, yes, but we hurt people all the damn time. But we solved it, just because I need to go home for a week or two doesn’t mean I hate you. You just need to realize what you did wrong and heal yourself. I don’t want you to think bad of yourself, you did some questionable things, but it’s not like you actually cheated. Okay? You‘re my person, my love, my baby and nothing can separate me from you.“

He just nodded. He needed some time for himself, you both knew that you both needed time to come back even stronger. So you went and packed all the things you needed for a week at home and booked a ticket for the next flight.

”When are you coming back home from Spa?“, you asked Lando, you wanted to book a flight to Monaco already, so you had no choice but to come back home to Lando.

”On Monday evening, then we planned to go on vacation on Wednesday, but I don’t know if you still want to come?“

”Of course, I‘ll come with you on our yearly family holiday, are you mad? Spending weeks on a yacht with only sunshine and you and your family is like a dream. I miss my Mila and I need my Mila cuddles. I‘ll fly back home to Monaco on Tuesday morning so I‘ll be back by Lunch time and we have enough time to pack.“

You looked at him, the way he sat on the bed, looking like he‘d lost the fight of his life, his arms were crossed before his chest, his legs were moving the whole time, too nervous to actually settle and his head was leaned against the headboard of the bed.

”Hey Lando, calm down, it’s only a week, you need to fly to Spa tomorrow anyway. Concentrate on your race, I‘ll be watching and supporting you from home“, you sat next to his leg and patted it.

”We‘re okay Lando. I forgive you, don’t worry. I just need a few days for myself and after I come back, we‘ll be just like before everything happened. So get your shit together and smile for me.“

He gave you a big smile, satisfied with it, you gave him a quick peck on his lips and stood up to gather the rest of your things. When you packed the rest of your toiletries in your bag, closing it with the zipper you let out a sigh and asked yourself if you really wanted to do this. You looked in the mirror and you knew the answer if you looked at yourself. You had bags under your eyes, they didn’t sparkle like they used to and your skin wasn’t rosy anymore. These three weeks took a toll on your whole being, you didn’t smile as much, and you for sure didn’t feel any happiness. But you were sure that after the week away from Monaco, you and Lando would come back stronger and everything would be okay again.

So when you stood with your luggage at the front door, Lando leaned to the wall next to it. You guys didn’t talk and just enjoyed the silence, both lost in your thoughts. When your phone got a notification, your Uber arrived and was ready to pick you up and take you to the airport. You wanted to now do it on your own and almost argued with Lando because you didn’t want him to take you. The week away starts now and he needed to accept that. He did something wrong, even if it wasn’t really his fault but he still met up with her and she was able to kiss him.

”I should go, my Uber is here.“

Lando just nodded and his head sunk, the first tear escaping his eye.

”Baby, please don’t cry. I‘ll see you in a week, you need to focus on your race, I don’t want you crashing just because I‘m home. You can text and call me whenever, it’s not like I‘m dead, I might not react immediately, because I want to do a little phone detox and maybe record some songs but if there’s an emergency, you have my parents' numbers and my siblings. My best friends as well, just focus and get another podium yeah? I‘ll be cheering you on from home.“

”I‘m sorry Y/N. I need you.“

”You have me, always. But just give me a week, let me calm down, and then we‘ll be back to our old selves. We will get over this and we‘ll be fine.“

He nodded and looked at you, his red watery eyes made you feel guilty, but now you needed to think about yourself. So you grabbed the handle of your luggage, put your free hand on his cheek, pressed your lips to his for a kiss, and stepped through the door.

”I love you, Lando, keep me updated.“

”I love you too Y/N. Please be careful.“

”Always.“

So when he closed the door behind you, one tear fell down your cheek but you wanted this and now it’s too late to go back. Your Uber drove you to the airport and you grabbed a mask, sunglasses and pulled your hood up, hoping that no one will notice you or at least recognize you. You loved meeting Lando’s fans but you just wanted to listen to your music while you waited for your flight to board. But luck wasn’t on your side today, while you waited for your flight to board, you saw multiple photographers taking pictures of you and you pulled your hood more into your face hoping they wouldn’t catch a glimpse of your face. You still cried a lot earlier and you did not look like your best self right now.

After your plane finally boarded and left the airport, you took a deep breath. Ready to relax at home with your family.

f1gossip

22,827 likes

Y/N was seen in the Airport! We don’t know where she is going but she clearly does not wanna be recognized. People that waited in line with her said, that she cried the whole time while waiting. Is our favorite couple now actually over? We have no confirmation, but we‘ll update you, when we know something

two days later

/////////////////////////////

You smiled when you left the plane, you had missed Lando terribly over the last week. That showed you how you guys were meant to be.

Your new song ’Reckless’ was a banger, everybody loved it, little did they know you already wrote a new one.

Lando told you, that he would wait for you in the entrance hall and drive you back home.

So when you got your luggage and went to the entrance hall you searched for the familiar face. But you just spotted a huge bouquet of flowers and behind them, was his beautiful grinning face. So you run the last meters to him and embracing him in a tight hug, hearing the sounds of cameras clicking, you didn’t care, you needed to feel him close to you. So when you broke the hug and looked into each other's eyes, you kissed. Just a quick one, you didn’t want to have a make-out session on the internet.

”I am so happy to be back“, you whispered in his ear.

”You have no idea how much I missed you. Let’s go home, I wanna show how much I missed you.“

f1gossip

25.729 likes

Lando and Y/N at the airport! Y/N arrived back in town a week after leaving, Lando waited with a huge bouquet for her and they shared this bone crashing hug after seeing the other. So is our otp back again? We hope that they‘re happy!

y/nusername added to their story!

Boy, I heard my name's on the tip of your tongue

You knew how badly Lando wanted to call you every day when you were in your home country. He texted you every morning that he wished you were next to him. Reporters tried not to ask Lando about the rumors but it was almost impossible. He just wanted to scream in everybody’s face that you guys were good and didn’t break up.

And I'm empty too, if that is what you want

But the truth is, you weren’t better. Your mum wanted you to leave asap, the crying of how much you missed him became unbearable for your family.

And I looked into your eyes and you're the one

When you FaceTimed and saw him, you knew he was the one. He was your love, your person, your everything.

That I wanted, baby, that I wanted, baby, that I wanted

You wanted him so bad, no, you needed him. You needed him because without him you couldn’t really function.

It's a haunting, baby, that I'm wanting

Baby, that I'm wanting, wanting you

Haunting, baby, that I'm wanting, baby, that I'm wanting

It scared you how much you wanted him. You sat late at night on your childhood bed and thought about the first time you brought Lando here. Everybody loved him and accepted him into the family. You needed him and it was scary.

And I lose my mind tonight over you

Thinking back to the time, you started fuming. How the press played such a big role in the whole thing, they made you believe things that weren’t even true.

Devil in a dress, I'ma love you like I do

You still loved him, even when all the ugly articles and rumors started to come up, you still loved him.

Follow the white rabbit to see the truth

You talked with Lando and he showed you what really happened. With all the stupid rumors, you believed him. The articles were a way to distract you, to show you the wrong way, to believe the wrong people but in the end, you saw the truth.

And my patience is now setting like the sun

When Lando arrived back on Monday, you had a panic attack but you were also impatient. Wanting to hear what he had to say, what really happened, whether it would be good or not.

When my tears fall on your lap, we've just begun

You don’t remember the attack you had, but Lando later told you how you cried in his arms while he tried to calm you down. It was the beginning of the conversation, what a great start. Not.

And by now, I know the damage has been done

The time will never be able to be reversed. Nothing can and will ever repair the scars you got from this. He still hung out with a girl while you sat lonely in your shared flat. It happened and you can’t do anything to undo it.

That I wanted, baby, that I wanted, baby, that I wanted

It's a haunting, baby, that I'm wanting

Baby, that I'm wanting, wanting you

Haunting, baby, that I'm wanting, baby, that I'm wanting

Lando told you, that he was scared of how much he missed and wanted you to come home. You laughed about it, feeling the exact same. It was scary how your minds were connected and felt the same as the other one was feeling.

Follow the white rabbit to see the truth

You were glad how things worked out. That showed you how strong your relationship is, that even after this scandal, you still found your way back to each other. It also showed you how important talking with each other was. Talking is key and you are glad you are in a relationship where you talk about things.

———————————————————————————

taglist: @mrsmaybank13

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

PLEASASSWEEPLEASE TOU DONT HUNRERFSTABDS

GLENN GLENN GLENN ITS GLENN VOTE GLENN VOTE FOR THE BOY

We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

GLENN GLENNNNNN

Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting

I haven't dedicated the last 2 months of my life drawing Glenn close for him to lose

Vote for Glenn Close or I will make you read the parody I did of the vaporeon copypasta

I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.

VOTE GLENN

Glenn fuckers fought tooth and nail to get us here from like 38% dawg we DESERVE THIS. GLENN IS THE SEXIEST MAN!!! HE WAS THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER I FOUND HOT AND HE’S GONNA CONTINUE TO SWEEP!!! Your hot goat woman sounds sexy don’t get me wrong but I’m forever fighting for the man that changed my brain chemistry. Proud of our fandom tbh. I don’t think y’all understand the sheer amount of effort I have put in to get my boy where he is today but this placement feels well earned. TO GLENN SWEEP!!

THE FUCK YOU MEAN GLENN CLOSE ISNT WINNING IM BOUT TO THROW HANDS FR

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

Yalll better vote glenn i swear to god

Vote Glenn or else the bird gets it🐦🛸

HOW IS MY DUDE NOT WINNING????

GLEN GELN NELG GLENNANN HE DESERVS ITTTT

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Taako (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

A celebrity chef from another plane

[thetriplets3]

❝𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮❞

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☀︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☀︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ⋆｡⋆

{𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫}

when chris cares about someone he will go to the end of the earth to make sure they’re okay. sure he can be goofy and childlike but he’s got a heart of gold, wanting to make sure everyone is taken care of before himself. that’s what i love about him, which is why he was the first one to notice i was sick.

the triplets and i had planned to go to the flea market in town at 2 but when chris hadn’t hear from me by 1:30 he called me to make sure i didn’t forget.

“hey are you ready yet? we’re leaving soon”

“hi uh no i woke up this morning feeling like i’ve been run over by multiple trains i feel like shit so not i can’t go” i croak.

“why didn’t you tell me earlier? i could have come by”

“i slept like crap because everything hurts to move and breathe so i stayed in bed hoping i’d fall asleep and that you guys would forget about the flea market because i felt bad for ruining the plans”

“forget the flea market it’s literally every week you don’t need to feel bad. you come first. i’m coming over and no i don’t care if i get sick i drink so many Pepsi’s a day if that hasn’t done anything to me getting a cold is nothing. i’m coming over whether you like it or not”

“fine. can you please tell matt and nick i’m sorry and that i’ll make it up to them. they are so excited for us to go”

“you don’t have to apologize i’ll tell them your sick, they’ll understand. they can still go if they want”

“if you say so. doors locked so use your key i’m gonna try to sleep” my voice trails off.

“i’ll see you soon i just gotta do a few things first, get some sleep”

chris pov:

2:23pm

walking upstairs i find matt on the sofa ready to leave.

“i just called y/n to see if she was ready but she got called into work someone didn’t show up for their shift. she said to tell you guys she’s sorry she didn’t tell us earlier her morning was hectic trying to leave last minute, she felt bad”

“that’s okay we can go next week. did you and nick wanna still go?”

“i’d rather wait til we all can go. if that’s cool?”

“of course, i’ll let nick know”

while matt heads upstairs to talk to nick i sit on the couch and think about what excuse i can make to get out of the house without them coming. sending a text in our groupchat i send an excuse.

i’m gonna go shoot some more photos for the new fresh love drop with brandon (aka gwhip333)

cool, you need a ride?

nah i’m good i can uber

when they model each others brand 😩

bro you’re weird

i’ll probably be back later tonight we’ll probably order food so don’t worry about me

we always worry about you, you’re a very concerning person

aw under that cold exterior you care about me, how sweet. i’m leaving

and with that i was on my way to her house without nick and matt knowing. i didn’t tell them because i know she hates being the center of attention and the last thing she wants is for 3 people to loom over her making sure she’s okay. so i’m going alone.

readers pov:

the rustling in the kitchen causes me to wake up for a second before realizing it’s probably chris, a burglar would make more of an attempt to be quiet. pulling my duvet up to my chin, i’m out like a light. i’m gently woken by chris. he knows better than anyone to wake me up gently and carefully.

he learned that the hard way.

he walked in my room one day, climbed in my bed, and made himself comfortable. being a fairly heavy sleeper, i didn’t hear or feel him come in. i rolled over in my sleep, i was met with a body. my natural instinct, in my half asleep state, was to smack and flail at whatever was in my reach. which happened to be chris’ face. hearing i’m yelp and call my name i woke up in seconds.

“what the fuck chris?! why would you sneak in here when i’m sleeping are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“i was gonna wake you up in few minutes, you just looked so peaceful i didn’t want to disturb you, i didn’t know trying to be nice was gonna get me bitch smacked” he grumbled.

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hit you i was scared” my voice small, yet filled with guilt and concern. “you can’t sneak up on me like that”

“i should have expected that to happen” he laughed.

sitting up, i grab ahold of his chin gently turning it to the side i smacked.

a sad sigh escapes my lips “i left a mark” i frown.

“don’t worry about it it doesn’t hurt, i kinda deserved it” he reassures me.

“you kinda did” i laughed.

so now chris knows to not be so silent when waking me up. he sits beside me on my bed and starts quietly talking to me, slowly getting a little louder when he sees me stir. like a feather, his fingers delicately graze my cheeks, making their way to my knotted hair, tucking the stray, sweat soaked pieces out of my face.

my eyes flutter open, promptly squeezing shut as the brightness hits my eyes. groaning, for multiple reasons; being woken up, the brightness, and suddenly feeling all the aches and pains. i nudge my head towards chris’ hand on my cheek, enjoying his warmth and touch.

“well hello you ball of germs” he lovingly joked.

all i can do is glare at him however pain and misery are evident in my appearance. my forehead creased from the crushing pressure in my head, my limbs tight and scrunched from the aches and pains shooting through my body, and a frown replacing my usual smile.

“i’m not gonna bother asking how you feel because i already know the answer so i’ll skip to is there anything i can do for you?”

“i don’t know. uh maybe the heat pack? everything hurts so much” i tear up.

with a swipe of my stray tears and a quick "I'll be right back" he's off scouring my apartment. within minutes he’s back, plugging in the heat pack before getting in bed and leaning against the headboard. not only did he come back with the heat pack, he also came bearing a CVS bag.

“okay i’ve got cold meds, cough lozenges, fuzzy socks because i know you love them, your favorite soup, voltaren to put on where your achey, fruit snacks to munch on, tissues obviously, and this little penguin stuffy i couldn’t leave with out it” he explains in a hushed tone.

“thank you chris, you didn’t have to”

“i know but i wanted to, i wanna take care of you. you’re always there for me so whatever you need i’m here. now come cuddle you need sleep”

snuggling up to chris with my head on his chest and my arm draped across his body clutching his shirt. he wraps his arms securely around me. one hand holding the heat pack against my back and the other massaging my scalp, both helping my headache and making me sleepy.

i wake up confused when chris isn’t beside me but the rattling and banging in the kitchen answered any questions i had. slowly but surely i make my way to the bathroom. as i’m leaving i hear my phone ding. a text from matt reads,

hey kid how’s it going? i know you were looking forward to the flea market we’ll all go next week

i’m slowly rotting away in bed i feel like i’ve been run over been a bus. you guys could have gone without me but thank you for waiting to go with me

3rd person pov:

it’s then that matt realizes he’s been told 2 different stories. chris said y/n couldn’t go because she got called into work and y/n just told him she’s sick. immediately he knows who’s telling the truth because y/n wouldn’t lie, she’s too honest for her own good. not mentioning this mix up to y/n he tells her he hopes she feels better and to call him if she needs anything.

matt can’t help but smirk. he caught his younger brother in a lie that showed him everything he needed to know to confirm his suspicions. matt knew from the start that something was off with chris’ story because brandon was in NY for the week. both matt and nick knew something weird was going on but they needed chris to get himself caught in a lie to know if they were right.

chris’ pov:

i stood over the counter carefully watching the soup cook not wanting to burn it. just as i turn the heat down, my phone buzzes in my pocket. it’s a text from nick,

how’s shooting going? matt and i miss brandon tell him we need to hang out together soon

my breath hitches, i need to keep my lie going.

good these are turning out dope i can’t wait to see the final version. he was just saying that earlier we’ll plan something

your pov:

i muster up the energy to take a shower and wash my hair just not to the extent to normal would. over the sound of the cascading water i think i heard a knock but it’s heard to tell. it could be chris destroying my kitchen.

i get changed into one of chris’ hoodies i borrowed a while ago and never gave back and a pair of sweats. towel drying my hair i try to soak up as much water as i can, hating hating the feeling of wet hair. feeling my stomach grumble i follow the smell of soup to the kitchen only to be met with nick and matt sitting across from chris having some silent triplet conversation.

“hi what’s going on?” my voice hoarse.

chris’ pov:

sitting atop the counter beside the stove so i can keep an eye on the soup, i play games on my phone waiting for y/n to finish in the shower. a soft knock on the front door catches my attention. opening the front door, assuming it was a delivery driver dropping off a package, i’m surprised to see matt and nick. i probably look just as confused as they do. they make their way in and we settle on the couch, i feel like a kid about to get in trouble.

“dude why’d you make up a lie you could have told us you were coming to take care of her which might i add is a very boyfriend thing to do”

“i just- i wanted to come and take care of her, that’s not a boyfriend thing it’s called i care about her, i want to make sure she’s okay and that i can help her out if she needs it”

“yeah sure whatever but alone? that’s the weird part. why can’t you just admit you like her?”

“okay fine i do! i wanted to hang out with her without you buffoons there. i want to take care of her, make sure she’s okay. i love seeing this soft, gentle, affectionate side of her. i love being the first person she calls when she wants help or is having a bad day and just wants my company.i love being with her and these moments don’t happen when you bozos interfere”

“we already knew your undying love for her. the way you drop everything when it comes to her. your heart eyes are so obvious. how affectionate, gentle, and calm you are with her. you know when we’re out in a group or crowd i always catch you searching for her, smiling when you spot her, knowing she’s safe. when she’s around, she’s the only person in the room to you”

a little stunned that he knew all that but i kinda expected that from him. i have nothing to say so i just nod, agreeing with him.

the creaking floor board directs my attention to the stairs, y/n’s come up for lunch. matt, nick, and i look back and forth between each other. i know they’re wanting me to say something to her about how i feel but now isn’t the time.

“hi what’s going on?” her voice is scratchy.

nick and matt say their hellos as i get up leaving to talk to each other while i go meet y/n in the kitchen.

“how ya feeling? did the shower help?”

“a little, i’m still achey and in pain, my head hurts, and i’m tired. can you come cuddle?”

her beautiful blue eyes looking up at me, silently pleading, i can’t say no to that. “here, go have some soup in bed and i’ll be there in a second okay?”

your pov:

i carefully take the warm bowl of soup downstairs to my bed, eating it while i wait for chris. 5 minutes later, my door slowly cracks open to reveal chris with a soft smile adorning his face.

“i’m all yours now. let’s cuddle but first let me put the voltaren on that’ll help your aches. where’s it hurt?”

“um uh my-my back and neck mainly” i stumble over my words knowing you’ll be putting it on my back. very intimate action.

laying on my stomach without my head to the side, duvet cover pulled back, chris sits beside me pulling my oversized shirt up so he can access my back and starts putting the lotion on. once he’s done he makes his way under the covers letting me rest my head on his chest. his cologne brings me comfort just like the feeling of my hand gently massaging my back as he holds me.

“thank you for taking care of me. you’re so good to me.” no one has ever cared for me the way chris does. he’s shown me what it’s like to be loved.

“i’d do anything for you, you know that. i love taking care of you, moments like this are my favorite. now get some sleep i’m not going anywhere.

“i love you”

“i love you sweet girl”

little did they both know, they actually meant it.

thank you @abbie13sworld for giving me this request

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs @abbie13sworld

[fezblr]

WILDFLOWERS - ellie williams x fem!reader

synopsis: ellie’s out on patrol when dina reminds her that today is valentine’s day- so in an anxious haste, she rushes to find you the perfect gift. (spoiler alert; you only want her)

warnings: literally just tooth rotting fluff, ellie being insecure, reader being a sweetheart and tiny bit of typical canonical violence, angst if you squint

a/n: hello… i’m starting to write again bc i have inspo anyways here’s an ellie fic … i’m a little rusty so don’t scorn me in the notes okay bye

————————————

“don’t tell me you seriously forgot!”

dina cackled at ellie’s gobsmacked expression. once her initial shock had faded she was left with an anxious expression. “dina! how was i supposed to know what day it even is? i could barely remember to wake up for this stupid patrol!”

dina’s laughter faded into a wide grin. “you better pull something together, and quick ellie. you’ve got atleast 10 more hours until valentine’s day is over.”

as dina rode on ahead, ellie sat atop shimmer wondering exactly what she could get you. in a post apocalyptic world, there wasn’t exactly a wide variety of gifts to select. she’d seen couples in old dvds wow each other with small fancy chocolates, large bouquets of red roses, candlelit dinners and expensive jewellery.

the closest thing she had to those was probably the crumpled yellow weeds she had stepped on when walking to meet dina this morning, an unscented candlestick collecting dust in her room and her bracelet which bore an evil eye. she let out a sigh. today her mission was to find the perfect gift; and she knew where to start.

as soon as she had returned from patrol, ellie made a beeline to joel’s small home, and rapidly knocked on the door. after five knocks a tired joel opened the door, confused and drowsy from sleep.

“ellie? what are you doing here at..” his gaze moved to his watch, “8:30am?” ellie shot him an apologetic smile, “sorry joel. this is urgent. i need your help with valentines gifts.” joel smirked. “valentines? didn’t take you for a romantic.” ellie rolled her eyes. “okay old man, you gonna help me or not?” joel grinned, “come on in.”

ellie left joel with a spring in her step and a new song to play on the guitar tonight. she next headed off to find maria; she had a feeling the older woman would have the answer she was looking for.

“ellie; women love flowers. i’ve always adored them.” “really?” she asked, her upper half resting on the bar. maria nodded, a smile etched upon her face. “do find some nice ones- wilted flowers make everything miserable.” ellie made a mental note to find some colourful intact flowers while on her mini mission today; preferably in a bright colour to bring some life to your shared, but rather dull home. with a nod and a quick thanks, she was out the door.

now with her newly obtained knowledge, and some slightly wilted wildflowers in hand, she returned home to find you gone; on your patrol with jesse for the afternoon. she began to set up before your return.

your patrol with jesse had been eventful. you’d run to a stalker, which you’d shot expertly right in the head. and to add onto victory, you and jesse had found an abandoned halloween store buried deep in the woods. so you’d of course collected multiple ghostface masks, not knowing or understanding the film reference but finding them equally as hilarious.

so when you walked in the door, wearing the ghost mask, prepared to scare an unsuspecting ellie, you were shocked to be met with an unusual sight. ellie had made dinner, which was placed on the table next to three candles she had lit. ellie emerged from the kitchen, her expression filled with stress, her brow drenched in sweat.

when she noticed you, she dropped the vase in her hands, filled with pastel yellow wildflowers.

“oh my god! fuck, fuck!” she scrambled to the ground, rushing to pick up the broken shards of glass. you quickly discarded the mask, dropping down to help.

“ellie.” she continued picking up the glass, as if she hadn’t heard a word you said. “ellie.” no response. “babe.”

ellie met your gaze, as she sighed in defeat. “dina told me this morning that it was valentine’s day. i’ve been running around all day trying to make this all perfect so we could have a little date- i tried cooking and almost set the kitchen on fire, i learnt a new song on guitar and then i dropped the flowers and i- i just couldn’t get it right.”

your expression dropped, your face filling with guilt as you took ellie’s hands in yours. “el, i dont need any big gestures. and you did an awesome job. i mean, no one’s ever cared enough about me to put in all this effort. all of this means so much to me.”

you pulled her up with one hand, gathering the flowers in the other. “here.” you grab a glass from the table, filling it with water and placing the flowers inside. “good as new.”

ellie wraps her arms around you, her face contorting into a soft smile. “you like them?” you tuck your head into her neck. “i love them.”

the embrace lasts a few minutes before you pull away. “wait! i got you something too.”

ellie looks confused as you grab your bag, but she grins as soon as she sees the object in your hands. “is that-?” “a new pocket knife! i found one today in the rubble at the halloween store. i thought you might like it.” ellie takes the blade in her hand, turning it over to observe it. “it’s perfect.”

she grins cheekily, “i might have to use it to slash the masked killer in my home.”

“haha. now come sit; i wanna hear that song.”

[vampiretendencies]

asking jj to read to you! it’s not usually his thing but of course he would oblige bc it’s you. & you’d get all comfy on the couch sitting between his legs, & his voice would be so soothing & you’d almost fall asleep but he’d come across the occasional big word & start to sound it out, but you finish it for him, & it just makes it all that sweeter!! anyways just my thoughts gonna silently cry how :,)

i really love this one wow :,) i decided to use a line from the book daisy jones and the six, as it's the most recent thing i've read that i can think i can think of right now.

maybe he'd be cleaning up after dinner or something, as he made it his mission to do so, because his girl never has to lift a finger, and you'd be unwinding with a book.

"baby, is that the new one i got you?" if a book, or anything really, reminds him of you he gets it, aware of all the genres you read; because he quite literally knew you like multiple paragraphs on the pages of a book, and he'd read it inside and out, willing to rediscover with each passing day.

"yeah, think it's one of my favorites now." and you'd peer over at him, with a grin on your face. he'd saunter leaning over the couch to pepper knowing pecks to your temple. "do you think you could read it to me?"

he'd hesitate, not wanting to feel the presence of secret embarrassment at pronouncing a word wrong. but its you, and when it comes to you he loses half his brain; everything is off the table.

"course' pretty girl." he'd read an enourmous sized novel, even if it took days, to spend just an extra moment with you.

with that he's strolling around the couch to you, removing the book gently from your hands. legs leaving enough room for you to nuzzle between them, your head lying on his thigh, fingers grazing through your hair. awaiting his raspy, voice in such solace. analyzing the cover that is daisy jones and the six.

“start where billy speaks.”

" ‘billy: and i just … (pauses) God i was so fr-fray … fr—‘ fuck“

“it’s frayed baby, take your time, you got it.” you assure him, by squeezing the skin of his knee. he grins from behind the book, the toothy kind.

“ ‘i was so frayed at the edges.’ here’s daisy, ‘and i knew he wasn’t mine, he was hers …’ “

though your eyes flutter in a manner of closing from the, soothe of his voice to the repeated motions of his fingers— the instance is ruled all the more sweeter.

send a concept & i’ll elaborate.

[buc-eebarnes]

confessions when one character thinks the other is sleeping prompt pls omgggg

cheezy homie i always see u in my notifs and of COURSE i had to go all out on this !!!! sorry if it's late jfsdkljfsdkj jet lag got me conked out as soon as i landed but here it be! (unbeta'd tho 🥲 also trying out a different format 👀)

conversations with myself (about you)

pairing: head engineer mark x the captain

tags: confessions, sleeping, fluff and angst

rated G || 1469 words || read on ao3!

You huff out a sigh of relief. You'd been trying to chase Mark down all day, but his assistants kept telling you that he was in different parts of the base.

You should've known to check his office.

But there he was, slumped over the table with his head resting on top of folded arms. He must've tired himself out from all the projects he was micromanaging. You squint at the laptop to see what he was trying to work on.

It's a progress report. Multiple, actually. You stifle a sigh and look down at his sleeping figure. "Oh Mark, what are we gonna do with you?"

He doesn't stir at your words, which is a testament to how tired he is. You keep your voice low regardless.

There's a folded blanket on the couch, and it smells of him, a weird mixture of pine, oil, and the soap rations they brought from Earth. The couch must be where Mark crashes all the time, which pulls a frown on your lips.

You drape the blanket over him, securing the folds over his shoulders. He's gonna have a crick in his neck in the morning, but he'll thank you later, probably.

He looks so peaceful, sleeping. 

You observe him for a while. The constant furrow between his eyebrows is gone. He doesn't frown in his sleep, but his lips are parted, and you can hear the soft puffs of breath he releases. His hair is a bit of a mess, as if he'd run his hands through it multiple times throughout the day, and you find yourself wanting to do the same.

"When was the last time you knocked out like this?" you mutter. Your hand touches a strand that's fallen in front of his eyes before you could stop it.

Reflexes kick in and you jerk back, but he doesn't stir. The only thing that changes is that his brow furrows slightly, but his breaths remain constant, and you relax your arm. You hesitantly take off a glove, and, before you can chicken out, reach forward to tuck the strand of hair behind his ear.

That then motivates you to run your fingers through his thick black locks, and it's as soft as you imagined.

You chuckle lightly, amazed. "Whaddaya know."

You continue the motions, and eventually, the wrinkles between his brows disappear, his features peaceful once more.

You drink your fill admiring him. Wide nose. Strong jaw. Big ears that stick out. Beard's getting to the point where it would break regulation but you're the highest official on this base and what Earth doesn't know won't hurt them, anyway. You look down at the fold of his arms, contoured by muscles. His hands, his fingers, that are so deft, made to create and fix what's destroyed. Why does everyone put you on a pedestal about looks when Mark is literally right here, sleeping soundly and looking sculpted by the gods himself?

"Everyone's blind," you mumble. "I don't hold a candle to you."

The urge to hold his hand is incredibly strong. You could do it—thread your fingers with his until he wakes, blinking blearily up at you with trusting eyes and whispering "Captain?" in a sleepy voice, and you suddenly feel small and unworthy about every single time he followed your lead without question.

And you feel the weight of infinite universes on your shoulders. Not once did you initiate anything more than friendship with Mark with all of the chances you've been given. He was always the ballsier one, more impulsive, more outspoken. As someone who has taken the mantle of a captain of a spaceship, you are an incredibly timid person.

"I wish I had your courage. Your tenacity. Your ability to take charge." You let out a humorless chuckle, and your fingers twitch against his scalp. "Countless universes, countless timelines, and we end up right back here. If only I wasn't a coward. Maybe I could finally ask you out on that date, y’know? To not worry about being a captain. Just someone going on a date with the person they like."

He doesn't respond, but you think you could see his breathing stop for a moment. It's a minute thing, barely there, but it's enough for you to cease running your fingers through his hair.

Did he hear you? Panic wells up in your throat. Oh god. "Mark?"

He doesn't answer.

"Are you awake?" you whisper.

He still doesn't answer. His breathing resumes again, slower this time.

You bite your lip, waiting for ten very long seconds, and you slowly pull your hand away.

You swallow down whatever feelings bubbled up to the surface and leave his office, quiet as a mouse. You lean against the door and close your eyes for a moment, wondering if you'd fucked up a friendship you'd spent these past few months trying to mend.

The trek back to your quarters is long. You get ready for bed and end up staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night.

Was he awake? Did he hear everything? If he heard everything, then he definitely felt you with your hand in his hair.

Sleep takes you, eventually, but the sun is starting to rise when it does.

-

"—and that concludes today's meeting. Please consult Summers for the minutes if there's an item you have a question about. I'll see you all next week. Dismissed."

The morning following the whole did-Mark-hear-did-he-not-hear dilemma is strangely anticlimactic. Mark greets you with the same gusto he does every other time he sees you, which is, to say the least, minimal. He doesn't give an indication that he heard you last night, or that he was disgusted by any of your actions. Frankly, it seems like he's avoiding talking to you, which is already the norm for your relationship these past few months. You chalk it up to your paranoia and gather up your datapad, shutting off the holographic projection on the table when he says, out of the blue, "I don't think you're a coward."

You jump nearly three feet in the air. The room had mostly cleared out, and any stragglers were busy talking amongst themselves, oblivious to the sheer terror running through their captain's veins.

"Jesus Christ, Mark! You scared me."

He raises an eyebrow. "How? I've been right here this whole time."

"It was unexpected, alright?" you huff, clutching your heart. "Give a person a warning, would ya?"

There's a fond smile on his lips, one that rounds his cheeks and narrows his eyes in a good way. That's when what he said hits you.

"Wait. What did you just say?"

"I said I've been right here—"

"No, no. The first thing."

"What, about me not thinking you were a coward?"

Your jaw drops, and every single cell in your body is screaming to run. He fucking heard you last night. He knows. He knows.

"I don't think you are. I never thought you were. I still stand by my opinion of you from the first time I met you."

You don't know what to do. He tilts his head down so that he can look you in the eye, and strangely enough, you find yourself unable to pull away.

“Captain, I’m going to be very presumptuous for a moment.”

Your mouth mimics that of a goldfish. “E-excuse me?”

“And I will go ahead and repeat myself again. You’re the bravest person I know. I don’t think you’re a coward. And even if you were, I wouldn’t think any less of you.”

You maintain eye contact, but you find yourself at a loss for words.

He steps closer, and there’s no malice or anger on his face. All you see is your head engineer, smiling at you like he always has, but there’s something clearer about it. Open fondness, affection, adoration. He tentatively takes your hand, interlocks your fingers together.

“I think you shouldn’t worry too much about being a captain. And I should probably take my own advice and not worry too much about being a head engineer. It’s a hard thing to adjust to when it’s the only thing you’ve known for so long.” He swallows, looks down at your hands. “But I’d still like to see what it’s like to not do that. Just someone going on a date with the person they like.”

It finally hits you.

You close your mouth, and you feel your features morph into something incredibly hopeful.

“I think I’d like to see that too,” you beam. Then, “Would you like to go on a date with me, Mark?”

The answering grin he gives you is blinding, and your chest is aflutter.

“Yes,” he squeezes your hand, saying your name. It sounds wonderful coming from his lips. “Yes, I would love that.”

buy me a coffee!

[ughgoaway]

happy (late) halloween omg ace! i am so glad to see we are all in shambles over the halloween show i swear matty chose violence (quite literally) with the patrick bateman costume like..... will instantly be imprisoned if I voiced my thoughts about those photos bye-

also the halloween blurb???????? mainly just sending this to scream ab how it literally killed me bye this is so stupid but it instantly made me so happy to read after work and oh i am weepy and weak at the idea of annie masterminding a group costume 😭 even the simplest or ur writings i absolutely adore (still not over the massive list of pre reader dad matty blurbs oh that made my DAY i tell u...)

can we just.... the idea of annie begging u to join them trick or treating,,,, and reader meeting mayhem and mayhem holding the candy bucket in his mouth while annie shows u how well she can walk the 'massive horse dog' 😭😭 and the way u just fit in their unit together so well... oh matty absolutely can feel his heart bursting at the sight gn (and also u getting mistaken for being annies mom/his wife multiple times and the way he just cannot handle how oddly right it feels.... bye!)

(bff anon hopes ur doing better ace! just know basically anything u post..... ive basically read bye need to stop lurking like an insane person 💀 xx)

HAPPY VERY LATE HALLOWEEN!!! It is my fault this is so late, I just couldn't stop talking… are we shocked tho? Jail is calling my name with some of the things I said in dms… let alone my thoughts FUCKING HELL. it was too good-

Stop I'm so glad you liked it, I just love them on Halloween so much. The fact that it made you happy after work actually just added 20 years to my life I'm so glad!!!! I made your day?!?!? Please I'm gonna vomit. You are so sweet and kind. Those ideas were all so fucking good, a google doc has been created bc I loved them so much. You are a genius truly.

Literally, this idea has been living in my mind rent-free in my mind ever since you sent it. MAYHEM HOLDING THE BUCKET YOU'RE KIDDING. Any mayhem content and I am obsessed (hence the mayhem reference in the actual fic), but this image has me sobbing.

(lots more insanity below the cut)

I am gonna alter what you said so slightly bc teacher girlie is PROFESSIONAL and she has work/life boundaries… sometimes… let's say Annie does BEG you to come trick or treating with them and you have to break it to her that you definitely cannot do that but you hope she has the best time ever. “But miss y/n I want you to meet my doggy, he's coming with us. He's gonna be scooby doo! My daddy is shaggy, and I’m Daphne. He's trying to get my uncle George to be Fred, but he wants to have a party with my auntie Charli. They are gonna be-” You have to cut in before Annie gives you a detailed list of everyone she knows costumes (but also, isn't the Scooby gang iconic for them all?!). 

You, of course, have a pumpkin out and are waiting for trick-or-treaters and have the full-size chocolate bars because you always wanted to be that house. A knock at your door happens, and you come running to it in your Wizard of Oz costume. Who is behind that door but the whole Healy family? Matty just makes a noise of shock that he later over-thinks massively, “but Ross, it was such a weird noise. I basically choke-coughed at her. No stop laughing-” Ross eventually assures Matty you didn't notice. 

You did and later tease him about it when you finally get together, “I swear I had to actually bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh, it was so ridiculous” and Matty is like “Can you blame me?? You were in that cute little dress, and you had those plaits with the bows on the end. You were asking me to choke on thin air when you dress like that, sweetheart.” And you're like… “well I think I still have that costume in my wardrobe upstairs if you'd be interested in-”. Immediately, his face lights up, “WHICH ONE? THE BIG WARDROBE OR THE SMALL ONE?” he shouts whilst dragging you up the stairs as you giggle uncontrollably.

Anyway, sorry I got distracted, HALLOWEEN! They're reasonably late in the night, and somehow Matty gatherers himself enough to talk to you, “ohmygod hi!” he says and awkwardly waves, another moment he thinks about far too often (“Why couldn't I do anything normal around you.” and you reassure him “dont worry, babe. it was cute, I swear”) 

Annie perks up and shows you mayhem who just adores you, wagging his tail and you bend down to his level and he's licking all over your face and you just can't stop laughing, matty is mortified. “Oh god y/n I’m so sorry he isn't normally this friendly, very weird actually… but please just- oh mayhem please can you stop-” and he's tugging at the lead trying not to die of embarrassment.

You insist it is fine, and Annie begs you to walk him “Just for a little bit miss y/n! Because then you can see how strong he is and then how strong I am because I walk him all by myself” This comment has you looking at Matty behind her who just shakes his head, confirming that this, in fact, is not true and just another Annie exaggeration.

You agree, grab your bag and come to walk with them for a bit, only after confirming with Matty about 30 times that it's really okay, “are you sure I do not want to intrude” you ask and Matty just dies at your kind eyes looking up at him whilst cuddling mayhem.

“Of course! I'm sure Dorothy would be good friends with the Scooby gang. Please, walk with us” and he offers his hand to pull you up. It's the first time you've really touched, and god, the spark flying thing may seem like a fairytale, but you both swear in that moment that you actually get a shock from the touch. Of course, his hand lingers a little longer than necessary as you stare at each other just vaguely holding hands. Your brain catches up, and you start moving, but god, you wish that moment could've dragged on forever, as does Matty.

As soon as you and Matty get properly talking, you end up walking with them for a longgg time. One house in particular though makes a mistake that lives on in infamy in your relationship in the future.

“oh god, that one house that thought we were together, that moment was on replay in my head for weeks after. The idea that someone else could see us together just confirmed to me I was head over heels for you, and then sadly solidified that it couldn't happen after you corrected her and I was sharply reminded you were my daughter's teacher”

Maybe it's an older woman who opens the door and jumps at mayhem originally but is soon cooing over him and giving him milk bones, “What a pretty boy” and Annie is giggling and telling the woman all about her “horse dog” (nice reference btw bff anon I love u).

Soon, she looks up and actually addresses you and Matty, “Sorry! You must be mum and dad. What a lovely little girl you've raised, and what a beautiful couple you are! Reminds me of me and my husband, constantly talking and laughing” You and matty just stand there open-mouthed like fish for a good few seconds. Annie is, of course, laughing hysterically. You both stutter out explanations, “Oh no-” “Oh I'm actually her teacher. It's a funny story so they knocked and i was like-” Of course, the woman apologised profusely, but the comment haunts you and Matty for WEEKS.

Perhaps a few more people coo at your “lovely family” and perhaps you just… stop correcting them…

Cut to Matty talking to himself (and mayhem) at 3 a.m. in the kitchen whilst making tea, “No it's totally normal people thought that. Man + woman + child + dog = family. and so what we stopped correcting them?? That's normal too… We just got sick of it. And it's also fine that it made me feel weird. It was a weird situation. Anyone would get butterflies at someone saying they're a nice couple. Right, mayhem?” and Mayhem somehow gives him a look that says “Really?” and Matty sighs and nods.

I think this might be the moment he goes “fuck.” and realises he really does like you. And he just… freaks out. Calls Ross and talks a million miles an hour.

I'M SO SORRY I LITERALLY CANT SHUT UP, WHEN WILL I STOP?!

I am doing much better and I literally cannot believe someone likes my bullshit enough to read my posts, I am genuinely obsessed with you?!?! KEEP LURKING I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU!!!

blurb masterlist here!!

[gyunglitter]

➷ 03 ➷

-“oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn’t real -– cupid is so dumb”

or

unlike you, your brother’s best friend just doesn’t know when to quit

word count: 4,034

warnings: cursing, mentions of running, soobin and reader bickering, a sweaty beomgyu in a tank top, CRINGE lmaooo

tags: brother’s-best-friend!beomgyu x reader, ??? to ???, angst, fluff(??), beomgyu is the cool boy-next-door, reader is an independent girlboss (or trying to be, at least), beomgyu’s gonna be GROVELING, simp!gyu, pathetic pining from both sides lol, maybe some cringe from reader (she was a teenage girl in love, have some empathy plz😭)

notes: this chapter literally didn’t exist lol, but as i was writing chapter 4, i realized it didn't flow well and spawned this. while writing it, i HATED it, but then threw in some crack and suddenly it’s my favorite thing lol. hope y’all get a laugh out of it—if not, i’m officially so unfunny :)

–> masterlist <–

One of the habits you had picked up while away: working out early in the mornings. Whether it was going for a run, doing yoga, or some pilates you would wake up early and start your day with a good bit of sweat before devouring a smoothie and protein bowl.

Of course, you couldn’t quite replicate your routine with how your parents’ blender was broken and the protein in your house was a bit more limited than you had back at your place, but you could make do. Then there was your childhood neighborhood that didn’t have the same layout as your apartment’s neighborhood did; there were many more hills and way less sidewalks. But you figured you had walked these streets for eighteen years with only the occasional complaint, so it shouldn’t be that hard. You could make do.

Or at least you thought you could.

Currently, you were gasping for breath as you finished trekking up the last hill to your house. You’d forgotten just how much worse the monsoon season felt at home than at school. Thankfully, you’d dressed correctly for your morning run: your running shorts, a sports bra, and breezy tank top to help your dying body breathe easier. You just wish your terrain was more forgiving.

You decided to walk the rest of the street back to your house, feeling utterly humbled (and old) as the early morning sun beat down on your back. Sweat glided down your cheeks, making you take the hem of your tank top to wipe it off, before ultimately taking it off and using it as a towel instead. You swung the top across your shoulders and sighed at the discomfort, vowing to stick to your indoor pilates workout routine until the weather mellowed out. 

You spent the rest of your walk internally whining about everything you’d done wrong since waking up, going over all of your worst regrets. But it wasn’t until you got to your front lawn, that you actually faced your biggest one. Which, of course, came in the form of Choi Beomgyu.

A gorgeous, sweaty, messy, out of breath Choi Beomgyu.

Feeling your cheeks heat up beyond what would be considered healthy, you gawked at the boy–no, man–who was currently putting together some machine in his own front lawn–the front lawn that your birdbrain had completely forgotten was right next door to your own. Beomgyu had also been dressed for the weather, wearing a loose, white tank top and black shorts with wire headphones as he worked. He looked like he might’ve been up for as long as you had, with sweat running down his forehead and arms, leading down to his dirty hands that you could only assume caused the multiple oil stains smeared on the front of his top. His hair was a delightful mess, but of course on Choi Beomgyu it made him look like a greek god. His face was a bit flushed from working, but you knew it was no match for the red on your face at the moment. 

Lucky for you, he was completely focused on whatever the hell he was building.

Feeling hopeful, you discreetly inched towards your porch steps to avoid garnering his attention. You deemed your confrontation with him the night before to be good enough interaction for the next year, and you really did not want a repeat of it now, when you’re half naked and sweaty.

But as life would have it, you still have many regrets to live through today.

“Y/n?” he called.

You nearly shrieked as your body went on autopilot and jumped.

…Into the nearest bush.

“Y/n?!” he yelped, sounding a bit more concerned this time around.

WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAAAT?

You hit your forehead with your fist as you berated yourself now physically and mentally while you basically hid behind the shrub by your porch. It’s not like you could escape the interaction, the only way to get out would be the way you came, which would only make you look so much weirder since he literally watched you jump, anyway! Now you were naked, sweaty, and had sticks in your hair. You really had to work on your fight or flight response because what the hell.

So much for acting like you moved on–what happened to being unbothered?!

You groaned and took your hair out of its ponytail to at least have something covering your shoulders a bit more. You used your tank top to wipe off additional sweat and dirt before trying to calm down and gather yourself.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” Beomgyu yelled, making you sigh heavily before popping out of your hiding spot.

“What–Beomgyu? Wow, I totally didn’t even see you there,” you coughed, pulling a random stick out of your hair.

Kill me.

You tried to not make eye contact with the boy, but you saw he was gaping at you and your disheveled state. 

“W-what hap– a-are you okay?”

“Never better,” you replied. “I just thought there was a squirrel in the bush and-well, uh, you know...”

“I don’t think I do,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

You didn’t either. But you weren’t going to say that.

Instead, you waved his words off and let the space between you fill with silence. Beomgyu took both of his earbuds out and scratched the back of his neck while he tried to string together words. But it seemed neither of you were going to come up with much of anything as he continued to stare at you while you stared at the floor.

“Well,” you cleared your throat, wanting nothing more than to escape whatever the hell this was supposed to be. “See ya.”

You turned to run up your porch and into your house to curl up into a ball, when Beomgyu interrupted you once again.

“Wait, hold on!” he called, making you want to smash your head into the wall.

“We really have to stop doing this,” you groaned.

He let out a chuckle while you turned back towards him. “I know, my bad.”

You folded your arms as he nervously fiddled with the hem of tank top once again. While you tried to keep your self restraint in check, you allowed yourself one more second of drinking in the veins that popped from his forearms, before shaking yourself. “What do you want, Beomgyu?”

He motioned toward the half-finished machine sitting in front of him. “My dad just got this new grill for this weekend, and I’ve been trying to put it together all morning, but I need some help carrying the tank and finishing it up,” he explained.

You grimaced, “I don’t think I can help you out with that, to be honest.” Nor do I want to.

But luckily, he shook his hands frantically, “No, no! I just meant–I mean, I was going to come to your house to ask Soobin for some help, anyway! I just figured it would be kind of weird for me to knock on your door after you just left, you know, so…”

He let the words die awkwardly after rambling for a bit, but he looked to you with red ears and a hopeful look on his face that you got the gist of what he was saying without thinking he was weird or weak, or whatever was making him so anxious.

Not that you felt you were in a place to judge, after he just watched you jump into a bush.

Sighing a little bit, you hesitantly nodded at him and gestured to your house. “Alright, well come in then. I’m sure oppa’s not doing anything important right now, anyway.”

Beomgyu’s eyes slightly widened at the offer, before nodding enthusiastically. 

“Oh, perfect! G-great! Thanks, Y/n,” he rambled, which you ignored as he started speed walking over from his spot to follow you into your house.

You opened your door that was almost always unlocked and toed off your shoes easily and slipped into a pair of slippers while Beomgyu tried his best to not touch anything with his grease-stained fingers. Noticing his predicament, you bit the inside of your cheek in slight annoyance as you slid another pair of slippers next to his feet.

“Thank you,” he muttered, slightly embarrassed.

“Just go wash your hands in the bathroom,” you dismissed, immediately walking away from him to go further into the house. “Man, I’m starving.”

“Y/n? Is that you,” your mom’s voice called from the kitchen, making you walk in her direction.

Turning the corner, you’re faced with your mother in her usual pajamas, making herself a pot of coffee. You smiled brightly at her, but she gave you a confused look.

“Where are your clothes, bean?” she asked, making the smile drop off your face.

You heard Beomgyu choke from behind you, making your cheeks heat up ridiculously.

“Hello to you too, eomma,” you grumbled, making your way to the fridge to make yourself a yogurt bowl and fight off your blush. “I just went for a run at the worst time possible.”

Your mom snorted at that. “Why in the world would you want to do that?”

“Because I hate myself,” you grumbled sarcastically, only half joking considering your circumstances.

After taking a bit of time to grab all of the ingredients you needed, you went to sit at the counter by your mother who was making herself a mug.

“Did you want a cup?” she asked you, to which you made a sour face. “Oh, right, I forgot you hated coffee.”

“Which is a crime, by the way,” Beomgyu chimed in, coming into the kitchen as well, drying his hands off on a towel from the counter.

“Beomgyu! When did you get here, dear?” Your mother smiled at the boy who was practically her second son.

He smiled widely back at her, going in for a hug before realizing his shirt was horribly stained and pulling back.

“I came with little Y/n. I just went to wash my hands really quickly,” he explained.

Your mother let out a little laugh, “Speaking of washing, what happened to you? You look like you slept in a garage.”

You smirked at that, while Beomgyu went to explain himself. But before he could, you all heard heavy footsteps thunder down the staircase. It had been a few years, but you could recognize Soobin’s footsteps anywhere.

You were proven right when the steps had rounded the corner, revealing your older brother with his eyes barely opened. Soobin slowly trudged through the kitchen, his body on autopilot as he instinctively opened the right cabinets to get a bowl and cereal. It was only when he opened the fridge and grabbed the milk that you decided to say something.

“Well good morning, sunshine,” you cooed, making Beomgyu snort from behind you.

Like on command, your brother screamed and dropped the milk carton. He whipped around to face you, while you were currently swallowing a spoonful of your yogurt bowl.

“Jesus Christ, I forgot you were here,” he muttered. After rubbing his eyes roughly, he opened them once again to look at you, but quickly shielded his eyes and screamed again. “Where the hell are your clothes?!”

Your mom and Beomgyu laughed while you rolled your eyes and chucked a piece of granola at him. Your brother flinched when it bounced off of his forehead. 

“Is my nakedness really that bothersome to all of you,” you grumbled, scooping more yogurt into your mouth.

“Not bothersome,” your mom said as she went to grab another mug for your brother as she could tell he was in need of his own cup of coffee, “Just very shocking to see you in a sports bra considering the most exercise you did in high school was walking to the convenience store for ice creams.”

You absentmindedly grinned at that as you remembered all of your ice cream runs with your brother back in high school. 

It seemed Soobin was doing the same thing as he let out a happy sigh. “Ah, good times.”

You nodded in agreement as he picked up the milk carton and made his way to sit next to you to eat his breakfast.

Beomgyu came over as well and took the other seat next to you. “Did you enjoy your beauty sleep?”

Soobin squinted at the boy around you. “I did, actually. You look like you could’ve used it though–”

Your mother lightly swatted the back of your brother’s head, ignoring his cry as she asked, “Did you want a cup, Beomgyu?”

He eagerly nodded at her. “Thanks, Mrs. Choi, that sounds great!”

Beomgyu smirked at Soobin, while he merely pouted back. “Why are you even here, Beomgyu? It’s too early to deal with the sight of your face.”

Beomgyu snorted. “I literally texted you about it yesterday before the dinner; I took apart appa’s old grill and I’m setting up the new one since all the guys are coming in this weekend. I need your help with the tank and stuff.”

Soobin groaned at the idea of doing manual labor, while you turned to your brother with a confused look and asked, “‘Guys’? Who’s coming in?”

“Some of our friends from school are coming down to visit. Yeonjun and Kai are definitely; not sure about Taehyun though,” Soobin sighed. “They’ll be here all weekend and staying with Beomgyu. But for the first night, we’re barbecuing and having a bonfire.”

You recognized all of the names: you’d actually met Yeonjun in person years ago, Soobin having met him in his first semester at school and became friends through Beomgyu. They brought Yeonjun back home with them since he didn’t have any plans for the holidays, so you got to know him a bit. Then there was Taehyun, who you’d only heard every now and then from random stories. But at last, there was Kai, who had been a common name thrown around by Soobin, claiming he adored the guy and would pick having him as a younger sibling over you any day. 

Whatever.

It honestly surprised you to hear about Taehyun and Kai since it turned out they graduated high school the same year you had. Soobin told you they had met during a party where all three of them hid in a corner and bonded over their friends ditching them for the night. You’d been pretty interested in the lore behind your brother’s friend group when you were eighteen, until you’d heard the reason Soobin was ditched was because Yeonjun had been dragged into a beer pong game where he got smashed, and Beomgyu wanted to hook up with some random girl–who you would rather listen to your brother singing the Attack on Titan theme song for ten hours, than learn about. 

“You should actually come with, Y/n,” Beomgyu piped in, nudging your elbow.

You didn’t turn toward him, instead remaining adamant on facing the other direction toward Soobin as he shook his head.

“Uh, no. Why would I surround my sister with a bunch of men? It’s bad enough you can see her like this,” Soobin wrinkled his nose at you, to which you promptly kicked him in the shin. It didn’t take long for him to kick you back.

“Soob, come on,” Beomgyu scoffed. 

You honestly couldn’t tell whether Beomgyu was more offended over Soobin refusing you going, or the fact that him being around you was such a bad thing. And, the more you thought about it, the more you really didn’t want to know.

“What?” Soobin defended. “Men are disgusting!”

Your mother placed a mug in front of Soobin and Beomgyu respectively, before adding in her two cents, “I don’t know if you remember, Soobin-ah, but your sister isn’t thirteen anymore. She’s twenty-one and perfectly capable of deciding for herself if she would like to have men around her or not.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Choi! Spoken like a true feminist,” said Beomgyu, a wide grin on his face.

“Since when did you get so progressive?” Soobin deadpanned.

“Since when did you refer to Taehyun and Hyuka as ‘men’?”

“Touché, touché.”

Beomgyu said, “Our friends are literally the greenest flags to walk in South Korea, if little Y/n will be safe with anyone, it will be them.”

“That is true,” Soobin pondered, but you rolled your eyes at the both of them deciding on your weekend’s fate for you.

“Exactly! I don’t know why you never let Y/n come with us,” Beomgyu complained.

Soobin scoffed. “Why do you care so much?”

Your ears burned when Beomgyu stayed quiet at that, not really knowing what to say. Instead, you turned back towards your yogurt and took another mouthful. “Whatever, it’s fine. I don’t wanna go, anyway.”

“What? Y/n,” Beomgyu whined, but you just ignored him. Again.

Even if Soobin hadn’t refused, you would’ve had to look for a good excuse to not go for multiple reasons. And Beomgyu was not the biggest this time. You honestly planned to rot for at least a couple of days, after all the traveling yesterday and your run this morning. Truly, you’d only gone for a run because it was routine and basically instinct. But you were still jet lagged, not to mention your social battery had run fairly low after your best friend, Yunjin’s, party yesterday, and then your surprise reunions with Beomgyu. The party had been a little tiring, but it was incredibly lightweight compared to being with your brother’s best friend. To say the brunette boy was exhausting would be an understatement for you.

“Seriously? You don’t want to go,” Soobin asked, eyebrows lifted. “You always used to beg to hang out with us.”

You nodded and gestured to yourself. “I’m tired, oppa. Besides, like eomma said, I’m not thirteen anymore!”

Soobin looked at your attire once again and mocked, “You sure about that?”

You kicked the crap out of his shin under the table as he cackled.

“You’re adopted,” you growled, making Soobin laugh even harder at you. “You’re not funny, and you’re not cute. I hope you trip over the sidewalk and that your favorite anime character dies–oh wait, he already did.”

Soobin’s jaw dropped. “You bitch–”

This time, it was Beomgyu who roared with laughter as you stood up and placed your yogurt bowl in the sink. After putting all of the food away, you went to stand next time your mom and cling onto her.

She shook her head at the both of you as she wrapped her arms around you as well. “I have to say, even though I love the peace and quiet, I did miss hearing the creative insults you two would throw at each other.”

You tried to hide your smile at that, while Soobin continued grumbling into his cereal. Another thing you had missed: your brother. Your age gap wasn’t very wide and the both of you had many things in common growing up. Though you’d always been close, the both of you had grown a lot closer while in high school. No one had known you better than he had, and the same vice versa, besides maybe Beomgyu. It had honestly broken his heart when you decided to study abroad and leave for four years, but the two of you stayed in contact with random facetimes and his many visits. You would say you stayed in better contact with him than you had anyone else.

“I know you missed your sister too, Soobin,” your mom cooed, causing your brother’s nose to twitch.

He gave a big sigh, “Whatever. Come, don’t come–your choice whether you want to or not.”

Your eyes widened a bit at the yield. Despite all those embarrassing years of begging to hang out with him and his friends, Soobin was adamant on the both of you not mixing friend groups. You knew all of his friends in high school since you passed each other in the halls everyday, but Soobin remained stubborn that you couldn’t join his friends when they went out. It always confused you since his friends were a bunch of angels, but your mom said Soobin was just too protective when it came to you. This never made sense to you, but your parents would always take his side on it. To see your mom voice her opinion against his and your brother finally giving in was a bit of a shock. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had changed a little over the past four years.

“Come on, Y/n, it’ll be fun,” tried Beomgyu.

He turned in his seat to face you and your mom, giving you those famous puppy eyes you’ve recently started to really dislike.

You turned your head away stubbornly, but your mom wasn’t quite done either.

“You should go, bean,” she said, petting the top of your head. “It’ll be like ‘healing your inner child’, or something.”

Your eyebrows raised as you faced your mother. “Who taught you that phrase?”

“Yunjin-ah. I called to congratulate her on graduating the other week,” she supplied, making you roll your eyes at the mention of your childhood best friend.

Of course she did, you mentally laughed.

“Look, I understand you’re tired, but it’s only Tuesday! The boys don’t come in until this weekend, you have plenty of time to rest,” she continued.

It honestly surprised you how much your mom was pushing you. She typically didn’t push you to do much of anything besides clean up. To see her have an actual opinion on it and pursue it against you made you think for a second.

“What, is IU supposed to be there, or something?”

“Huh?” your mom asked, thoroughly confused.

“I mean, there’s gotta be another reason as to why you want me to go so bad.”

Your mom laughed before pinching your ear lovingly, making you squirm away from her. “Sorry I want you to have fun while you’re at home!”

Shrugging your shoulders, you relented. “Fine, because you guys are so desperate–”

“YES!”

Beomgyu cheered as he suddenly stood up from his seat. He clutched the mug your mom gave him in one hand before using the other to give her a one-armed hug and kissed her on the cheek. Your mother laughed as he sang, “Mrs. Choi, I owe you the world!”

Soobin rolled his eyes so harshly it made you stifle a laugh.

“Stop rizzing up my mother, you loser,” he groaned, before getting up to put his bowl and breakfast away. “Let’s just go finish this stupid grill before I ghost you and leave you to build it yourself.”

Beomgyu’s mood didn’t deflate at your brother’s negativity and instead picked up the other mug as well, to bring with them. “Thanks for the coffee, Mrs. Choi! I’ll make sure to bring it back later!”

“Oppa can bring it back,” you reasoned.

“That’s what I just said,” Beomgyu said, a bit of mischief in his tone.

You deadpanned him, but his grin didn’t shift.

“See you later, little Y/n.” And the bastard sauntered away, carrying both mugs for him and your brother who looked like he was going to need it more than anything to get through the rest of the morning.

“Is it too late to back out?” you asked your mom, the fake smile on your face contradicting your serious tone.

Your mother hummed as she studied the view from the window on the side of your house that showed Beomgyu and Soobin on his front lawn, before moving back towards you.

“I have to say, that is probably the happiest I’ve seen him since you left,” she said softly, making the fake smile melt off of your face. “You don’t actually have to go; like I said, you’re old enough to make your own choices. But I think it’d be really good for you to. And if not for you, at least it would be for him.”

You knew your confusion was evident on your face by the knowing smile that crept onto hers.

“Just give it a shot, bean. Besides, I think you’ll really like Soobin’s friends. They’re the sweetest boys you could ever meet.”

–> next <–

[geasthewritingrat]

Proposing at the same time

Pairings; Ferdinand x reader, Hubert x reader, Claude x reader, Dimitri x reader, Yuri x reader (separate) Gender Neutral! Possibly OOC but I’ve just worked 6 days consecutively I’m tired (I also didn’t mean for Ferdie and Hubie’s to be so much longer than everyone else’s I promise)

Ferdie; -He spent so much time in multiple different towns, trying to find the best ring for you, and if he wasn’t so swamped with work he’d have made the ring himself, but he eventually settled on a gorgeous, elegant yet extravagant, jewelled band that suits you and your stunning beauty perfectly -The whole night was perfectly planned, from the time he calls for you, to the sweet speech he’d prepared (and rehearsed) over the course of many early mornings (Hubie caught him reading it in front of the mirror once and poor Ferdie’s never seen such pure amusement on anyone’s face) -It’s already all set up by the time you both reach the secluded meadow, blanket laid neatly in a patch of grass surrounded by flowers, yet not squishing too many, candles carefully placed so they don’t fall and burn everything to the ground, fireflies dancing in the moonlight, your favourite foods, lovingly handmade by Ferdinand himself, beautifully covered so none other than you two could enjoy it -A perfect night for the most perfect person in his eyes -Yet he completely forgets that he was meant to propose. Literally just, forgets. He’s so enthralled by your beauty and enraptured by your melodic voice that he forgets about the box in his pocket, forgets about the speech he made, forgets that he’s meant to ask you to share the rest of your lives together because in that moment it truly seemed as if you were the only people to exist -It’s only when you, having known his plan all along (he’s not subtle nor sly enough to hide it), pull out a box containing the ring you spent weeks choosing, showing it to him with a sheepish smile, that he remembers what he came there to do and scrambles to pull out the ring he chose for you -Very romantic, 10/10 -He later tells Dorothea everything that happened, dramatically lamenting the fact he never got to say his long, very sweet speech he had prepared, and she brings the whole ordeal up during her speech at the wedding

Hubie; -Oh Hubie, oh sweet, caring mother hen Hubie -As well-informed and sly as he is, he’s near-hopeless when it comes to romance, so when he found out you were taking trips to various jewellers searching for rings he genuinely thought you were just browsing for yourself, even if its not usually your type of thing (or, maybe you were looking at rings for him, to coax him out of his glove-wearing obsession) -With how much time he spent also at the same jewellers that you visited (he thought you were better with accessories than him so he followed your lead in secret) you’d think he would wisen up and figure it out but no, it takes the jeweller themself mentioning you for him to realise you were looking for engagement rings and not everyday rings -He found a ring that he thought would be perfect for you and the jeweller mentioned that you’d been eyeing that one and that’s what finally made him clock on to what all your trips had truly been for -Not wanting to be taken by surprise with no way to smoothly recover and act like he has everything perfectly planned all the time, he carries the ring with him everywhere he goes, even if you’re not nearby or maybe even in a whole other city doing work stuff -After a talk with Edelgard, he decides to plan something special to show that he does, in fact, absolutely adore you and everything you do, but he does still keep the ring with him in a special pocket that he refuses to use for anything else -It happens at a time that neither of you had prepared (the dinner he had planned was set for a week later, and you were gonna do it later the next night), you two were just sitting by the waterfront one warm afternoon, gazing out at the glittering lake before you, when you felt peaceful and relaxed enough to ask him to close his eyes as you stood to kneel behind him, ring box in hand -He’s smart (sometimes) and knows exactly what you’re doing, so he takes the ring box out of his pocket and displays it proudly as he turns around once you tell him you’re ready

Claude; -Fecker knew the whole damn time -Somehow knew from the moment you thought to yourself “huh, I think I wanna marry Claude” -He mentions to Hilda one day that he’s 99% sure you’re out shopping for engagement rings at that exact moment, and then says “hey you know what would be really funny” and decides that he, too, would be proposing after you spent so much time & effort planning everything with your second closest confidant (whoever that may be) -So when you finally muster up the courage to take him to a gorgeous beach one evening after a satisfying dinner, he’s got this unusual, unreadable grin on his face, hands behind his back as he fiddles with the little velvet box containing the ring he oh so lovingly chose for you, only to trip and fall, grabbing you by the arm and bringing you down with him -Now, two identical ring boxes lay on the sand in front of you, and Claude’s sheepish “surprise?” almost makes up for the mouthful of sand you’re now having to spit out -He’s laughing and you’re eating sand

Dima; –Absolutely clueless -You two proposing at the same time really is just pure chance -He didn’t even know you were planning on proposing in the first place! Okay maybe he had a slight hunch but he didn’t want to ask in case he was wrong and it was just wishful thinking on his part -Dimitri (lovely Dima, gorgeous man, amazing) asks the Blue Lions for help with choosing the right ring and planning the perfect date, some help more begrudgingly than others (looking at you Felix Hugo Fraldarius), but in the end he has a solid plan and a pretty damn gorgeous ring, all he needs now is self confidence and you -A while before the actual event, he tells you that he’s taking you to see some of Faerghus’ most beautiful snowy areas, promising countless tales from his childhood, and you decide that that’s the perfect time to propose, because it sounds phenomenal and you had no idea Dimitri was planning on proposing then too -When you two reach the absolutely stunning and truly wondrous area, you pull out your ring box and get on one knee, only to see Dimitri blink a few times before doing the exact same thing, blushing hard and smiling wide

Yuri; -He found out your plan by accidentally going to the same jeweller as you at the same time as you, seeing you carefully inspecting the engagement rings as he got through the door, but because he’s Yuri mf Leclerc you didn’t see him as he stood in the shadows and observed your choice -It made him feel all warm & fuzzy inside so he searches high and low for The Best Ring Ever to give to you -From that point onwards, he’s taking the ring with him whenever you ask him to join you on an outing, no matter how big or small that outing may be, but to his surprise you don’t propose on any of those trips -One day, he’s been working non stop for hours, so you waltz into his office and all-but drag him to the dining table, lecturing him about how he needs to eat properly even if his work is very important, and since he just thought it was a normal dinner he didn’t take the ring with him -To his shock, you end up spontaneously proposing after you both finish eating, confessing that you were planning to propose on each of those little trips you took him on, only for it to not feel right or for nerves to get the better of you, so you decided to do it in a place you both feel comfortable and at ease -He accepts, obviously, but then takes you back to his office to show you that he bought you a ring too, slipping it straight onto your finger

- Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! As always I have been Geas and you have been awesome, never forget that. I hope that you are giving yourself a break and treating yourself fairly, because while things may seem like they’re spinning out of control sometimes, you are stronger and better than you know. -

[alaskashigh]

may I humbly ask thee for fluffy and angsty CaliYork hc’s? :)

*stares at you with my autistic eyes 👁️👁️*

*not forcing*

*gasp* me? you’re asking me? the caliyork god? /j

of course you can have angsty and fluffy Caliyork hc’s!! (all of them, if i had the time 😔😔). also a lot (majority) of these headcanons are inspired by/from my friend @ghost-jamie’s headcanons bc they are so great and amazing and caliyork is literally the number one thing we talk about-

sorry if some of these suck. my main focus has been on ny/nj/ca for the past few months so, yknow

also ima open up my asks bc im bored and want to get my tumblr account alive again! send me headcanons/wttt related stuff please!

Caliyork fluff

They have the best cuddles. Since New York is always cold and California is always hot their cuddles are great. New York likes to press his chest against California’s back (the hottest area for Cal is his back) when he’s the big spoon and vice versa for Cal.

California loves to make cool things he finds for New York. New York has an entire collection of origami and other artistic things Cal’s made for him.

Their favorite things to do is to curl up with each other and do their own little things. Whether that be Cal reading a book and New York listening to music, it doesn’t matter. They just love being near one another.

California can be a really good cook when he’s in the mood. Before he and New York got together he was in a big slump, always pushing himself too hard and stressed, so he relied heavily on microwavable meals and junk food. New York coming into his life really helped get him back onto his feet. New York loves his food whenever he cooks and will cook with him sometimes.

The power couple in meetings. Don’t fuck with one of them if you don’t want the other to jump you. Neither of them are scared to fight.

Can be heard laughing in each others rooms late at night or during the day. Those two are always doing something together and relaxing in one of their rooms.

New York likes to bring Cal to his rats/pigeons just to see his happy and excited face. He finds it adorable at how happy he gets playing with the animals.

angst bit is cut off just incase. tw for drinking, arguing, and fighting mentions. if i need to add anymore tw’s let me know!!

Caliyork angst

California has bad attachment issues and a fear of abandonment. He’s always scared that New York is gonna leave him once he realizes that he isn’t worth it or that he’s with him out of pity. New York makes sure to assure him that no, he isn’t gonna leave him and that he does love him very much.

New York has come home on multiple occasions drunk as hell and bloodied after a fight. It scares the hell out of California each time. They’ve gotten into a few arguments over it and NY’s promised to step away from drinking. He’s healing slowly.

New York worries that California’s gonna leave him as soon as he realizes that New York is a shitty partner. California lets him know that he’s the best boyfriend Cal could ever ask for and that no matter what he isn’t leaving.

They’ve said some hurtful things to each other during rare fights multiple times and have almost broken up over it. It usually ended up with the two taking breaks for a bit before starting up couples therapy to the others relief. Things are getting better and they are learning how to communicate better.

New York has a bit of a jealousy problem. He’ll latch onto California and attack your ass if he deems you as overstepping boundaries. California’s the same way but he’s a bit more relaxed about it since he knows New York well and trusts him. It’s caused a bit of a problem on multiple occasions so they are working on fixing it.

[strykingback]

Jaune Arc. The most HORRENDOUS example of a FUCKING KNIGHT.

Trigger warning for this being a drunk as hell post because I decided to drink after a long day of Valentines BS and wanting to make thi post to make one teensy weensy Jaune Stan mad.

Oh yes Rooster Teeth and CRWBY I'm gonna fuckin' shit all over your useless-ass knight character. Why? Because I fuckin' can. So eat a whole ass fucking dick.

So you know Jaune Arc from RWBY right? Literally the "knight character" of the series right. WELL FUCKIN' WRONG. Cause this knight is the example of "I Wanna Be the Main Character" syndrome and literally betrays everything that a knight is meant to do.

So as we know Jaune is meant to be a reference or referred by his naming convention to the actual JOAN OF ARC

Joan of Arc who is well known as history's most bravest female knight of all time. Who had managed to push back many British soldiers all while she received a vision from God in order to continue her rage against the British invaders during the Hundred Years War. Now if we're talking about the Arthurian Legend then this talk would be hella different.

Now starting things off. What pisses me off the most is why wasnt Jaune a fucking woman to kick things off. Like one of the most influential knights in human history being reduced to a secondary wannabe "I wanna be the MC" head-ass boy. Like not gonna lie it would have been much better if he was one cause it would have made a lot more sense if their semblance was seeing events before they happened which woulda made more sense and would have fit Jaune's historical illusion.

But naw. Make his semblance the generic. "I Need Healing" head-ass.

now this would mean that he would be following the Code of Chivalry which this useless-ass knight has failed in so many levels. Take note that there are two Code's of Chivalry one from the Song of Roland and one from the Arthurian Legend of King Arthur. and the following two state.

Song of Roland’s Code of Chivalry: 

Fear God and His Church Serve the liege lord in valor and faith Protect the weak and defenseless Live by honor and for glory Respect the honor of women

King Arthurs version of the Code of Chivalry: 

Honor Honesty Loyalty Valor

Immediately right off the bat we know for certain that Jaune does not respect the honor of women especially in Vol 9 where Ruby has a whole ass mental break down but Jaune says "Oooh I M THE MAIN CHARACTER! YOUR JUST A FUCKIN' BITCH AND YOU NEED TO LET ME HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT" like tell me that is immediately a massive fail especially when Jaune had respected Pyrrha so much so to the point where this man had multiple different arcs over the course of what. six fucking seasons and still has not gotten over her death. Now yes he did follow through with Penny's Idea.... which was a horrendous idea not gonna lie....

Dude shes fuckin' dead. MOVE ON WITH THE LESSONS SHE HAS TAUGHT YOU. YA FUCKIN' REDDIT MOD LOOKING HEAD-ASS!!!!

Next would have to be Honesty has he literally cheated to get in. Now I count this as a half fail. cause he did prove to have potential in the earlier seasons of RWBY but at the same time. He lied to get into Beacon Academy. which only made me think.... what did Monty cook up for him before Rooster Teeth and CRWBY fucked everything . Another would have to be Loyalty which is a hardcore fail. As he assisted RWBY (aka the four terrorists) into literally destroying an ENTIRE FUCKIING KINGDOM. Actually TWO if you're counting Mantle. Which is just fucking stupid cause this man would warn people and then suddenly everything has to focus around him like once again "Main Character Syndrome." instead of Ruby Rose who IS SUFFERING IN VOLUME NINE!!! Oh Oh Oh. but wait theres more.

but then when Ruby does the Unalive congo and everyone is shocked.. guess what everyone has to hug Jaune cause he is going through shit. When Ruby had it worse!!!

Aka The Four Dumb Fucks who wont realize their Leader just unalived themselves and they just hug the "Main Character Syndrome: Jaune who is going through it instead of mourning Ruby.

What is there in Honor for a man who barely can honor a friends death no less in the "possible afterlife"

Valor- Dude is the example of I'm a fuckin' coward and I need assistance in order to harm the big fuckin' bad.

Loyalty- Jaune " I followed my friends to destroy an entire Kingdom" Arc.

Everybody Jaune Arc. Is Full o' bullshit and he is the worst example of a fuckin' knight who should never get an arc again!

[jomsimagination]

totga || rosita espinosa

rosita espinosa x reader

warnings; just some cussing, suggestive sexual themes

it all started with one drunken night, rosita’s my best friend, we’re close, and when she found alcohol, of course i’m the first one she offers to drink with. one cup was all i said, but soon turned into two, three, four. and so on, thus leading into the next morning, laying on her bed, her arms wrapped around me, a regrettable hangover, and night.

while we were exploring an abandoned street, i decided to look inside a music store, finding destroyed music disks and many more. “aw such a waste.” i mutter under my breath, but looking behind the counter to see a perfect still intact sony walkman, and on the drawer was two cassettes. “this, this is heaven.”

“really? that’s what you felt when you were with me though, not to brag.” she startled you, on purpose, walking inside. “finders keepers.” i say, putting the cassette tapes inside my bag. “wasn’t gonna steal.”

“what do you want.” i sternly say, searching for some tech pieces, “you. i know that you like me. for a long time now, glenn told me.” she chuckled, as my mouth dropped since she told me that my snitch of a friend told her. “i am so gonna kill him.” i huffed, almost walking past her but she stops me.

“y/n. you can’t keep ignoring me forever. i like you too.” she whispered, as her hand held my cheek, making me look up at her, since she was slightly taller and i was looking away from her, our lips almost touched, but i already felt fireworks, and since almost is the word. glenn walked in, making us back away from each other.

clearing my throat, with a stern and angry expression visible in my face, “what do you want.” i say, with gritted teeth, but still managed to smile. “we have to go now.” glenn explained, “give me a second.” then turned to look to rosita while i wasn’t looking.

“see told you, you could do it. so how’d the first move go?” glenn laughed quietly, “you walked in, so i couldn’t pull my first move.” i said as i walked past them, “oh please like you could ever pull a first move.” he scoffed, while i fake-gasp. “challenge accepted.” and with that i walked over to rosita, and pulled her into a long and passionate kiss. “done. don’t tell anyone this.” then walked away.

“wow.” rosita laughed, touching her lips. “she’s really competitive, rosita. good luck.” rosita patted her on the shoulder, as they both walked out of the store.

as we were walking i decided to test out the walkman, and it works, and one of the cassettes were rnb, so pure heaven. but while listening, i notice rosita, ever so slowly walk closer to me, but once she was close enough, i grabbed her hand and held hands with her. this is so my romcom moment.

from the corner of her eyes, i saw her blush, which made me gain confidence to maybe flirt back, maybe. definitely, but i will, one day.

once a rustling sound was made, we were all on alert mode, except for me, i didn’t hear a thing, then rosita screamed at me to duck, but i turned around, almost getting bit by a walker but i decapitated it first, my Sony walkman getting ruined, falling on the ground.

but we still continued on our way back, Rosita tries to hold my hand, but I put my hand in my pocket instead. I can see her face go from a soft and caring face to a cold one.

once we settled down, I didn't bother to do anything else but to just try and fix my walkman, the cassettes were still in tact, just the walkman, after a few tries, I did it, I fixed it. I was a tech junkie when the world was still okay. I owned multiple gameboys and such, scared to let dad find out that my gameboy was broken, learning how to fix one from the guys who sells gameboys.

but as the pure rebel, ew no, pure stupid I am, I decided to sneak off, off to the nearest town, though it was almost night, I wasn't scared at all, with my supplies of literally one water bottle and a broken katana, I felt like I could do anything. "I'm a genie in a bottle. you gotta run me the right way. if you wanna be with me. I can make your wish come true."

"woah." I say, looking at heaven, and that heaven is, a music store, and no not a small one, a big one containing guitars, drums, piano's, and a whole lot more instruments. but then it's almost night, and there's no way I could ever pull off getting a full drum set back to camp, so instead it's just one acoustic guitar and was biggie, but I another secret run, success.

before I could go back to camp, a voice interrupts me, "y/n, tsk tsk. you're still sneaking out? what happens if your glenn finds out huh?" Rosita asks me, walking closer to me, obvious teasing in her voice. "well nothing, since he won't ever find out." I say, brushing her hair our of her face. "right?" I say, seductiveness in my voice.

"my my, y/n rhee where did you learn that?" she asks, softly chuckling, "who else?" I say, gesturing to her, "and movies." I shrug, "I gotta go now. help me." I say, while give the guitar on her, "sorry. you said you'd help."

"I said nothing." Rosita said, "well now you said something." once we reached camp I dropped my bag climbing inside of my tent, sighing of relief once the weight on my back was gone. "god this is so bad for my posture." I sigh, "here, you go, princess." she said, teasingly, climbing inside my tent. "oh shut it, you think a princess would walk through dirt and mud?"

"no, but I think that's what you're acting like right now. bratty and snobby." she said, stepping closer to me. "real mature." i said, stepping closer to her, testing the waters, but maybe i’m the waters, as she stared at me with that lustful gaze. “okay. stop.” i block her eyes with my hands.

“wow, real mature.” she said, quoting me, “don’t quote me.” i say, before taking my hands from her eyes. “you know you can leave now.” i say, feeling tired, “i can. but what if i don’t want to?” she says, her voice seductive, her eyes lustful. my heart, beating. “well, what’s so bad with that? maybe you can stay.” i flirt back, stepping closer.

“wow, flirting back? who taught you that.” she said, holding my cheek in her hand, tracing my jawline with her finger. “ugh stop that.” i groan, pushing her hand away from me. “why?” she chuckled, “you’re cute when you’re annoyed.” she said, causing me to blush.

and that was when the madness started. which led to five weeks, i didn't know that she and abe were together, i mean i did, but she told me they were gonna break up. god first relationship and i'm a mistress at the ripe age of twenty, but she still went back to abe, mom wouldn't be proud of me. and from then on, i hated her with my full on might, and she too hated me.

five years later

everything's good with rosita, we're on good terms, she has a boyfriend now, i don't but hey, who says it isn't fun to be single in a apocalypse.

while we were talking and drinking, i suddenly laughed, it was night, the breeze was a little cold, the only light was the moonlight shining up against her face. "woah don't go crazy on me." she laughed, "no no don't worry. i haven't gone crazy yet." i laughed, memories shining back at me.

"i can't believe it. people say: you won't ever meet your first love again, because that's what makes them your first love. well glenn just said that, but it's not true, look at us right now. hey i may not be your first love, but you are definitely mine. i don't know if it's the alcohol. but you are really my first love, well you were technically all my first." i laughed, to mask my little sadness, but hey, who says a little drinking can't help that.

“y/n.” she said, holding my cheek in her hand, using the triangle technique making me chuckle softly, as she did too, but she slowly leans in, hoping to kiss me. but i pull away before our lips can touch, “i’m sorry, i-i can’t it would hurt to much.” i say, standing up walking towards my house, “y/n!” she called out but i didn’t bother looking ay her, or stopping.

i knew it would hurt to much, she might be my first love, but i was her totga.

the that got away.

A/n, anyways this was actual shit, i’ve written to much to not put this fic to good use. also i’ve recently started watching twd :) IT IS NOT S SMALL SERIES I FORGOT TO REMOVE IT😭😭😭

[chairteeth]

Touka, Nemu, and self-perception

Yet another TouNemu rant! Self-perception this time! Surely this CANNOT GO WRONG! Spoilers exclusively for TouNemu-related stuff in Arc 2. You will most likely be fine given that the only faction I even mention here is the Union and it’s mostly to bash them over the head with a metal chair for the crime of kicking rescue puppies. Insane ramblings beneath!

This may not seem related, but I want to start by talking about what Touka and Nemu are like as parents and why, because it's very interesting (by parents I mean with Sakurako). Touka learned the dos from her dad, and Nemu learned the don'ts from both of her parents. If you compare the parenting styles of the Satomis vs the Hiiragis, a few patterns emerge. Touka's mom we are disqualifying as per my own made up lore explanation for her absence (heart condition depression guilt spiral), but before I say anything about Nemu's mom, I'm gonna compare the two dads, because when you think about it they're a little similar! 

Nemu's dad is literally a ghost. We have NEVER ONCE seen that man but we have had him mentioned multiple times. Unlike Touka who avoids mentioning her mom ever (other than the one time in her MGS’ Episode 3 and also the time Nayuta mentioned her in her quotes), Nemu does mention her dad a bunch, usually in the same context as her mom, which implies a few things that I may get into later, however the excuse/explanation given is that he's busy with work. Which if we put him next to Touka's dad is an interesting (read: terrible) excuse. Touka's dad is very busy. He's busy with politics stuff apparently, with the multiple businesses he owns (as far as I’m aware), with the hospital he's a director of. Things were probably easier when Touka was still hospitalized, yet in Arc 2 he makes time for his child, even when it's not "necessary". So what's your excuse exactly, Mr. Hiiragi?

That interesting comparison aside, Nemu's mom has entirely shaped her parenting style, perfectly on display with Sakurako. You will notice that Nemu always asks Sakurako questions. About her day, about her emotions, etc. You know. Just like she wished her mom had done for her, which Mrs. Hiiragi of course never did. What with her habit of visiting her hospitalized terminally ill child only to infodump her and leave. Nemu also cooks with Sakurako like her mom cooks with her (on occasion, when she remembers she has a daughter). Essentially, Nemu is acting with Sakurako like she wishes her mom would act with her. I need to stress the psychological impact this tier of emotional neglect has had on Nemu; once again, this is a hospitalized, terminally ill child, who has been isolated and away from home for years (presumably). But the isolation and pain of being an inpatient, likely most often in pain, not knowing if you’ll see the light of morning each time you go to sleep, and complete lack of emotional support from adults was not enough! Of course not. Instead, Nemu was parentified.

Hear me out. You may not have thought about it before, but Nemu, the people pleaser that she is, has been made to cater to and take care of the emotions of fully grown adults (her parents), and like most victims of abuse/neglect, she defends them. The poor girl desperately wants her family to love her. She assume-gaslit herself into thinking her mom handmade the socks she got for Christmas while hospitalized AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Nemu, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but literally nothing I've seen from your family tells me that your mother would do that. When a child forcefully matures faster than they should, it very much scars them mentally, like the physical stretch marks some of us get when we’re younger from growing too much too fast. Being forced to take care of oneself, feeling misunderstood, closing off from your peers, being parentified by the adults around you, just generally growing up before you're prepared for it… In an isolated hospital environment, Nemu and to a slightly lesser extent Touka (and to an even lesser extent Ui), had to, in some aspects, mature much faster, but were left with a complete void in terms of experience.

Children learn mainly from the experiences they have, and on that, Touka is right. They were robbed of those experiences. All three of them thus show signs of resentment issues, self-blaming issues, and "I'm a burden" issues (Touka may not have that last one, but she has other issues to make up for it). There's also just the inherently traumatizing experience of waking up in pain. Being helpless. Finding scarce enjoyment in being alive because you're so in pain all the time. The extremely scary idea that you will not know if the pain/discomfort you feel is Just Another Tuesday of living in your body or if you’re in urgent need of medical attention and should perhaps inform the doctors/nurses that something is wrong. Not knowing if something is actually wrong or not, and the habit of keeping it to yourself because you either don’t want to bother others/be a burden or you don’t want to be seen as the Boy Who Cried Wolf of the ER, can lead to absolutely terrifying situations. For example you could have a horrible kidney infection that’s almost septic and not realize it because well, you’re always in pain/uncomfortable around that area. Surely this is nothing. When you’re used to being in pain, you stop noticing it as much. Desensitization. It’s confusing and distressing to live every day in a body that is deeply and terribly sick like that, ESPECIALLY for a child.

Anyway. Back to Nemu specifically. She mentions in her quotes that although people say she doesn’t show her feelings much (or that she “lacks emotion” as NA my beloathed put it), she feels plenty in her heart. Hey… Hey wanna know why that is? Sure it’s part of the way she is by nature, but a big part of why she’s like this is—take a wild guess—her parents! Again! From her perspective as we saw in her MGS, she sees her emotions as a burden on others, particularly her family. The reason she seems emotionally distant is actually one very fun (read: sad) flavor of the people pleaser. Actually, I think I’m going to quote this post:

"Think about it. In real life, the person that's bottling up all their emotions is not the one that's brooding in the corner and snaps at you for trying to befriend them. More often than not, it's that friendly person in your circle who makes easy conversation with you, laughs with you, and listens and gives advice whenever you're upset. But you never see them upset, in fact they seem to have endless patience for you and everything around them—and so you call them their friend, you trust them. And only after months of telling them all your secrets do you realize… they've never actually told you anything about themselves."

Guess who fits the “emotionally repressed character who is mellow” type! That’s right! Our resident sad author! That’s, also why in some of my AUs I give her severe repressed anger issues but that’s beside the point. That whole post is very much just… Nemu. She separates herself so that she won’t be hurt—or at least, not as hurt as she would be if she was feeling everything in full. It's really really sad because she seeks out and buys gifts for her family, specifically learning everything they like down to their tastes (she even mentions her mom's taste in food). Just a quiiick consideration: does it seem to you like they're putting in even an ounce of the effort she's making? Because I have a feeling even Nemu must’ve realized what a lost cause it was, eventually. I can’t stop stressing how badly she wants to fit in and be a part of her family. Not to mention how badly the Arc 1 finale must have crushed her internally. In a family of athletes, with how excited she was during Arc 1 to get to Do Things in a healthy body? To lose one's legs?

Everyone leaves her behind… Well, everyone except Touka. Speaking of Nemu’s relationship with Touka! Back at the very start of things, in the hospital, I assure you that Nemu held Touka in this sort of hateful pedestal that she wanted nothing more than to rip her from, out of envy. Because Touka's dad evidently loves her, spends time with her, pays attention to her, gives her affection and Oh You Know. Everything Nemu has ever wanted. So I believe that if that relationship hadn't improved, Nemu would've grown to hate Touka, viscerally and intensely. Because simply put, she has everything Nemu wants and can never get. And when you're so isolated you have no one to talk to, especially if you're like Nemu or Touka (introverted and doesn't like talking to strangers especially about Emotions and Big Thoughts)… Coping mechanisms like writing will not get you that far if you don't have the support you need. Which leads me to MY NEXT POINT:

“If I can't be useful, I am worthless.”

Ha. Hahaha. So. I've gone on and on about just how bad an inpatient hospital environment is for a child, especially a child genius with little to no emotional support who is also terribly socialized. But I really need to talk more about the prodigy trauma. I am pretty sure more than one person reading this will be familiar with being considered "gifted" either period or only as a kid due to neurodivergence or whatever. Society is NOT nice to gifted children/geniuses. And, adults tend to praise children who show a lot of academic prowess and encourage those interests. The problem is that they often do it so much that it's everything the child ties their identity and self worth to. They also do not praise other things, as in only the highlight is ever praised, which causes even more severe tunnel vision and a more deeply rooted sense of This Is My Special Thing That I Am Good At And I Must Always Excel At It (this often leads into pretty bad perfectionism). For example, Touka's dad tells her on multiple occasions that she has to use her prodigious intellect to help others. He does this with good intentions. HOWEVER let's just say that may not have processed quite like he expected.

Let me try to go layer by layer with this. I'll use Touka because she's the more "traditional" type of genius (the STEM kind). I know that in private circles I have joked about her having a budding praise kink because of how she reacts to being called smart BUT it's actually at least mildly concerning that she completely changes her tune on something when praised, and she's only ever praised on her intelligence. That is what makes her her. It's what makes her special and unique. Touka has a superiority complex and an inferiority complex simultaneously which I will elaborate on at some point, but her dad has also sooort of tried to drill noblesse oblige into her. By the way she speaks (the astronomy class presentation in her MGS Episode 3, her line about Nemu's writing in Nemu's MGS Episode 3, that one damn scene in Arc 2 Chapter 5)… she sees the world entirely in terms of giving and taking and stealing. And that's, not hugely healthy, for starters, but then! Arc 1 happens. And I already talked about what Arc 1 did to both Touka "Maskwearer" Satomi and Nemu "People Pleaser" Hiiragi (their mental health is so good! /s), I have one essay for each of those. But I don't think I've ever discussed what happened in their heads after Arc 1. Because arguably, that was worse. I have another essay about the development of their characters in the works but I’m trying to actually make that one a bit more well-organized so it may take a little longer.

Touka had a job to do. Nemu had a job to do. They had a goal and a purpose, a promise to deliver on. They failed. What then? What do they do after the dust clears? They panic. As soon as they've had some time to actually process the extremely traumatic shit they went through and how badly they have fucked up, they internalize all of their guilt and it destroys them from the inside out. And what can they do? Nothing, really. Everyone hates them. They're failures. They have no purpose. No use. Who are they? They don't know. They're lost. And no one is there to guide them. So they try to do what they think is right: taking themselves out of the equation. They serve no purpose and are of no use anymore. Worthless. All they've done is harm. Mind you, this is never at any point mended. These wounds are left to fester. If you pay attention throughout Arc 2, the Union relies on them for several things, but they're never quite part of the group. They never quite rise above their status that they gained after all that happened in Arc 1. Which is why they kept trying to throw their lives away, among other things. When you’re doing your best and your pretty significant efforts are never acknowledged, it’s extremely discouraging, and for them, works with a fun concept we call confirmation bias. And that leads me to the names I gave the two atonement suberas. Sinner and purpose. The sinner subera is the one where they are self-flagellating harder than worshippers of Loviatar in D&D, and the purpose subera is the one where they finally, finally find themselves a worthy goal to pursue. A challenge, a purpose. Something only they can do, this time with a bit of extra help.

The way they see everything is literally just "everything we do is wrong and hurts people" and "we can never do anything right." Every single time Touka perks up after an adult calls her smart and bends over backwards to prove that the adult is right I want to break something. Dr. Satomi had good intentions but my man has NO IDEA the damage he did with those teachings. Noblesse oblige aside, Touka just ties her identity ENTIRELY to being smart. That's all she is. If you pay attention to the way she speaks, she weaves this into her personality all the time, and the amount of time she explicitly brings up being a genius is both concerning and a badly disguised cry for help under a layer of arrogance that’s easy to peel back if you simply cared enough to look closer. When she's given a role like say, Magius, then she has a job, a responsibility, and *points violently at my Magius Touka essay* A PURPOSE. It’s not particularly good for her, but it’s something. She desperately needed direction, to be taught how to be, well, herself, and nobody gave her that. No one gave her or Nemu what they needed. You know what their elders did? Yell at them.

If you think about it. Do the others ever sit down with TouNemu and talk to them? Do they really? Or do they basically only pay actual attention when TouNemu inevitably make a mistake or do something they don't like, to berate them for it like they're misbehaving dogs? No wonder they isolate themselves and can only open up to/rely on each other. They have no one else. Even Iroha and Ui are comparatively distant now. Not to mention, these two probably believe they're everything from hard to love to incorrigible to perpetually evil, cannot be good or do good, etc. Do the others ever praise them when they do something good? Is there ANY positive reinforcement at all? I have not even touched f4's funny child abuse joke about how Kanagi dishes out corporal punishment to these two. The instance of it in Paradise Shift boils my blood personally because EVEN WHEN THEY DO A GOOD THING THEY GET PUNISHED. And guess what their reaction is? Nothing. Just a complaint on Touka’s part when they’re in private about how it still hurts. That’s literally the reaction of a child who’s been hit by their parents all their life and doesn’t know anything else, or alternatively the reaction of someone whose belief about deserving that punishment is deeply rooted in them and so they have no reaction to it. In my humble opinion, these two are literally saints, I would have snapped a while ago if I were them. Especially because literally no one has noticed or acknowledged their growth at all (other than each other). Ui and Iroha, supposedly the people closest to them other than each other, still thought they would fight until they came to blows as late as Mokyu's MGS.

And that brings me to something that a person I’ve talked to about this has brought up. Touka and Nemu do still occasionally behave in abrasive ways (mainly Touka), look down on others, etc. But I mean, can you blame them? They’re not really getting the right feedback. How are they supposed to know better? If you take a closer look, they are almost disgustingly soft and sweet with each other. And although arguably during Arc 2 they are very cordial towards people (Kagome and Sana come to mind as easy examples, with them even helping Sana publish her picture book online), when they do act in ways that push people away… It’s probably on purpose. Subconsciously or consciously. It proves them right about being unlovable and irredeemable. It’s the confirmation bias all over again.

Christmas String is once again an excellent example of both their bond (although sadly they spend most of the event in Work Mode) and their growth over the years—which they acknowledge themselves in the event, MGS, and quotes. In that event, they were kind to two children they didn't even know and even went out of their way to help them, despite claiming many times that they’re not kind people and “aren’t that type of person” to help others. They specifically cite that as a thing Ui is capable of, something Iroha does, but not them of course. In light of what I just said about their own perception of themselves, however, they would literally never recognize that they are actually kind people. They did so many unnecessary nice things for others even without the diary's influence in that event alone, and if you look at them you could tell they were pleased and happy every time they saw that they'd helped someone. They just genuinely believe that to be kind, you need to be Ui/Iroha. They were most often around people like Ui and Iroha, who basically emanate an aura of light and kindness and empathy, and it seems to come so naturally to them, so surely if it doesn’t come as naturally to Touka and Nemu, it means they’re bad. And they can quite literally never be Iroha/Ui. They say that themselves.

It's also because of introversion vs extroversion. A lot of the time extroverted people give off more… Kind, warm vibes, friendly vibes, even if they’re shy and anxious like Iroha started out as, because they're more open and talkative and they Thrive With People. Introverts like Touka and Nemu however often seem “cold,” “aloof,” “rude,” or “uncaring,” and this is especially the case when the introvert in question doesn’t display enough shyness and anxiety for their attitude to be deemed “valid” or “understandable” when in reality they would still help you just as the extroverts would. Granted, Touka and Nemu very often just, don’t wanna have anything to do with People. Them plain not talking to people or telling anyone that they *could* after Arc 2 until it became necessary is a good example of that. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t help or that they would turn a blind eye. Unlike Iroha, however, Touka and Nemu generally do the opposite of seeking people out except when the person they seek is the other; I do not think they count each other as “people” in the same sense as everyone else. In many ways. As that same person I talked to put it… “I want to be alone with you by my side.” Because they are each other’s only safe space, where they can be truly 100% themselves without fear of judgment and without expectations to meet. I could start yelling about their bond now but I shall Refrain for the sake of not making this even longer.

All of this to say that The Babies are very sad and very traumatized and they deserve the marriage they got. I will elaborate A LOT on the whole… Uwasa Queens thing, when I get to that part in the development essay. Thanks for reading today’s ramble! Do ask if you have any follow-up questions or want to know my thoughts on something else about them.

[blu3cl0v3rs]

•u•

Guess what I gott!

A) something actually useful for my future

B) diagnosis I've been meaning to get for multiple years now

C) new Morro AU

D) finished day of Morrotober

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If you guessed C, YOU'RE CORRECT!

Yeah, so in scribbling my Day 25 prompt and doing a little bit of research (looking at a fandom wiki page) on Euphrasia, I stumbled upon the line of her hiding her wind powers so she won't get exiled.

Now I, someone who has not watched Dragon's Rising because I hace yet to finish Crystalized (I'm so scared based on other's reviews), immediately went "but why??? Why would she fear being exiled??? Unless, someone else * cough Morro cough * who also had the Element of Wind * cough cough hack Morro cough * got exiled as well?" So, of course I had to remember that one person whose user I can't recall who had a theory/AU that Morro was exiled from Cloud Kingdom and I took that, shoved big brother Morro into the mix, and shook that bitch until some word vomit came out.

So, now I've got my thought process out on how I got here, let the brainrot speak!

Morro was created. Yayyy!

Since I'm delusional, all Destiny Writers are part dragon because I said so, they just hide their ears, horns, and tails under robes (well, not necessarily hide bc they don't care abt being part dragon, but they're all covered by the robes). Also, dragons can reproduce asexually, because I also said so!

Mama made a biiiig oopsie, and the punishment was her son's exile, marked by the distinctive dark green streak in his hair.

Specifically, the punishment she got was "Lifetime of Guilt", which takes the most cherished person in the offender's life and essentially puts it through hell until they are dead, forcing the offender to feel a literal lifetime's worth of guilt for causing all of that pain.

Baby Morro is set free in the world of Ninjago, in which the Destiny Writers make a pointed effort to make his life miserable, as is the punishment.

However, destiny rewrote itself, throwing the kingdom into a panic. Morro defied destiny and started leaening under Wu.

The Writers tried for years to fix this mishap, which failed again and again and again.

Until, one day a decision the Writers could control came upon them; the choosing of the Green Ninja. They rejected Morro without a thought, and lead Morro to his burning painful death in the Caves of Despair. Since he was exiled by the Cloud Kingdom, he was sent to the Cursed Realm.

At this point, Mama had died, so the Writers ignored Morro until he defied destiny again by escaping the Cursed Realm.

Season 5 happens, but I make it better because I can. Oh yeah, and Garmadon fucking lives because fuck canon.

Morro lives, and tensely lives with the Ninja until post Season 7, where he ditches because Wu is lost to time.

In the time that Season 8 and 9 would take place, Morro sneaks around in Cloud Kingdom to learn why his life sucked so much. Insert him discovering what Mama did and her punishment.

He gets angry and is about to destroy all of the Destiny Scrolls, but meets little tiny Euphrasia.

Poor baby was abandoned by her parent and no one wanted to take her in.

They talk and bond and Morro decides she's now his younger sister, but due to plot convenience, he discovers Season 10 spoilers.

When the Ninja are debating what Garmadon meant by his whole cryptic ass warning, Morro bursts in being like "holy shit these evil smoke Oni things from the First Realm are gonna try to destroy everything" and shoves the scroll in their face for proof, completely ignoring the like 7 year old girl clinging around his neck

They kick ass, and Morro rewrites destiny for Lloyd because I don't care about Lloyd's little trip to grandpa's and decided I'm gonna do something more meaningful, like Morro yet again sticking it to Cloud Kingdom, this time to help the Ninja.

The Ninja, Morro, Euphrasia, Wu, and Garmadon do the bonding thing over the months between Seasons 10 and 11.

Speaking of Season 11, the Ninja fuck around and find out, Zane kinda dies like in canon, the Ninja all kinda kill themselves like in canon, Season 11 basically just plays out like it would if Morro and Euphrasia were chilling there as well and on Pixal and Wu's plotline.

During Season 12, instead of being fucking hunted down like the Ninja, Morro and Euphrasia are just vibing in some wholesome area, roleplsying and playing dress up. They're having the time of their lives, then they leave the game and talk with the Ninja and holy shit that's why there was a bounty on your heads???

During Season 13, Euphrasia does some windy stuff, and while the Ninja are busy stopping slavery, Morro teaches her some basic control of her powers (to him. It's actually decently complicated, Euphrasia's just a fast learner and Morro can teach well). They show up with Vania last minute to kick ass.

In Season 14, Morro's powers go out of wack, Euphrasia kind of lost her powers, and Nya's are over amplified. It is not fun for them. Morro is questioning his worth and all that jazz, but this time he has a bit of a support system (Euphrasia. Also the Ninja kinda all go "dude, you have worth outside of your powers. Been there, done that, it's fine," just nicer). Ends with Morro and Nya merging with their elements, but due to Morro's precise control of his element he can return, but Nya loses herself and joins the sea.

I will add another post here that covers Crystalized because I haven't watched it yet 😋

Also, I'm calling this AU "Cursed by Destiny"

[triplexdoublex]

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Pairing: Derek Smith (Modsun) x reader

Warnings/ tags: fluffy smut, pinning down by wrists, mentions of a possible future pregnancy/children.

A/N: 3,253 words! I’m absolutely in love with how this turned out. Based off a dream I had. Hopefully, other people besides my old ass catch the reference at the end. Enjoy! Gimme all the Feedback!!!

With hugging, cuddling, chaste kisses and exchanging ‘I love yous’, it’s safe to say the line between friends and lovers is definitely blurred when it comes to you and Derek. In your heart of hearts the line no longer exists for you; you’ve fallen head over heels IN-LOVE with your best friend. You can only hope he feels the same way.

And while you’ve always found Derek attractive throughout his ever changing style, his latest look made it even harder for you to keep your eyes off him. His once blonde hair now dark as a Raven, with a matching mustache , makes his ocean eyes appear a more vibrant tropical blue. He looked like a dark tempting mystery you were dying to solve.

After torturing yourself over the ‘should I’s’ and ‘what if’s’ of confessing your true feelings for Derek, you decide to confide in his best friend Colson and get his opinion on it.

“I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual,” he assures you. “I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching, the boys smitten.”

*************

Armed with all the bravery you can muster up and Colson’s assurance from the previous day, you decide today's the day you're going to tell Derek the way you really feel. You should be nervous right now but it's hard to feel anything negative when you’re already laying in the grass at the skatepark with the man of your dreams, your head using Derek’s unshaven chest —also part of his new edgier look— as a pillow, while you watch the clouds roll by.

“That one looks like a heart,” you point out. “Your turn.”

“Ok, ummmm.. ooh that one looks like Genesha!”

“Like the Hindu God on your back tattoo? I’m not seeing it,” you say quizzically.

“Right there,” he points, “That big fluffy part uptop is like the elephant ears and head, and all the thin wispy cirrus clouds below it are the trunk and its multiple arms.”

“Looks more like an octopus or jellyfish to me,” you shrug. “But I always love the creative things your brilliant mind comes up with when we do this together.”

Then suddenly you remember when Derek first got his Ganesha tattoo, and how he explained how it symbolizes the removal of obstacles and new beginnings. ‘This is it! This is a sign!’ You think to yourself ‘Now’s the time!’

“Derek, I need to tell you something.” You state, switching your position onto your stomach and elbows next to him.

“Of course, what is it?” He questions, half sitting up resting back on his forearms.

“I love you!” You blurt out.

“Ok… I love you too, you know that.” He sounds confused.

“No..” You take a big breath. “Like I’m IN LOVE with you, I wanna be with you…” You let your words hang in the air as you patiently wait for Derek to hopefully say he’s in love with you too.

But all he finally says is “OH.”

Your stomach sinks and you swallow hard. “I was hoping you feel the same way??” You prompt him.

“Y/N… I-I don’t think it’s a good idea, I cherish our friendship and I don’t want anything to potentially ruin it.”

“Derek, I cherish our friendship too, and I get your concern but we could make it work, I know we could. We’ll always be best friends no matter what. We have an unbreakable bond. Just tell me if you feel the same —“

“Y/N, I already told you how I feel,” he quickly gets up and grabs his skateboard and heads to the half pipe without another word.

You walk over to a shady spot under the pavilion and pull out your phone to text Colson.

Y/N: Thx a lot, the feeling is NOT mutual and I’m pretty sure Derek’s never gonna talk 2 me again now 😫

Colson: Derek’s literally textin me right now freakin out cuz he DOES feel the same way but he's scared to tell you and take things further cuz he’s terrified that if it doesn’t work out he’ll lose you forever, but now he’s worried that your mad at him and you guys are gonna be awkward around each other.

Y/N: Wait , seriously! He said that???

Colson: Yes! I told you! Do I know my boy or what?

Y/N: So now what do I do?

Colson: give him time. he needs to realize on his own it’ll work & he won’t lose you. act normal but flirty so he knows you’re still interested & not upset. i say he breaks by the end of the day!

Y/N: thx you’re the best! Shit, phone’s about to die

Right after you hit send your phone screen goes black. “Fuck,” you mumble to yourself looking around for a clock. You don’t see one but you do see another skater sitting nearby looking down at his phone, and you get up and walk over.

“Hey, you mind telling me the time? My phone just died.”

“Yeah, 2:13. But you sure you should be talking to me. I don’t want no drama with your boyfriend over there?”

“We’re not dating,” you roll your eyes at first but then smile to yourself realizing that even a stranger can see the chemistry you and Derek have.

“That’s what he said too when I asked him, but then when I asked if he minded if I shoot my shot he said ‘I'd prefer if you didn’t.’ So I was confused.”

“Oh reallllly,” you snicker to yourself, saving that tidbit of information for later, and instead calling out to Derek, who’s now grabbing a water from the vending machine “See even strangers think we’re dating!”

He responds by sticking his tongue out at you in true Derek fashion, his playful personality shining through. And that’s when you know you guys are gonna be okay.

The ride back to Derek’s is mostly quiet, but not awkward. You share the same comfortable silence you’re always able to with Derek. You’re the first to speak as the car approaches his street.

“Have I told you how much I like this new look on you?” You smile “Very mysterious,” you add in a mock deep voice.

“Yeah?” Derek laughs, pulling into his driveway.

“Yeah, you look a hott guy at a poetry slam, a sexy Gomez Addams, a handsome modern day Edgar Allen Poe, if you will.” You playfully compliment him as you both exit the car. “Ohhh and Johnny Depp!”

“You’re too much,” he cracks up, turning the key in the front door.

Once inside his bedroom Derek— still shirtless— sits on the bottom edge of his bed to kick off his shoes. It’s then that you take notice of the pink hue of his cheeks.

“I made you blush,” you tease in a sing-song voice, making your way over to him. “C’mon Derek, just admit you feel the same way I do, I already know you do, I just wanna hear you say it.” You step closer and into a wider stance, his legs now sandwiched between yours.

A warm, guilty smile spreads across his face; a smile that says everything he’s too scared to. But he’s almost there. You can feel it. You have to keep trying.

“Soooo Derek, if you won't admit you have feelings for me, then why’d you tell the guy at the skatepark that you ‘prefer he didn't shoot his shot’ at me, huh?”

His smile spreads and his blush deepens, but he still hasn’t said a word.

Time to up the ante.

“I know it’s hard to talk about feelings sometimes, so let’s talk about something different…” you smirk, pausing to lift your knees onto the bed; one on either side of Derek’s lap, officially straddling him. You lean forward and tuck a piece of dark hair behind his ear and whisper “Tell me Derek, do you ever wonder how it would feel to be inside me?”

Involuntarily, Derek lifts his hips, briefly grinding against you, already half hard.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” You giggle, rolling your hips against him as you pull your shirt up over your head and off.

The next thing you know, Derek’s lips are on your clavicle. Low grumbling moans escape him as he kisses a path up your neck, and over your jaw to your mouth. He gently cradles your face; thumbs by your ears and fingertips pressed to the nape of your neck. You part your lips for him; a silent invitation you pray his tongue RSVPs to.

It replies almost instantly, slipping in between your lips and over your teeth to the warm welcome of your own tongue. They dance and twirl in rhythm with your heavy breathing, as you both fall back onto the bed, with you on top.

Sure you’ve kissed Derek before, but nothing like this. This is far more intimate than friendly pecks hello and goodbye. This is a declaration of love written in calligraphy with his tongue. And even though his actions speak louder than words, a part of you still needs to hear him say it.

“Derek…” you pull back from a kiss, your hand gently pushing down on his chest.

“W-what’s wrong?” He sits up half way, on his elbows, and looks up at you confused and concerned.

“Derek,I’m sorry but I need to hear you actually say it before we take this any further. I need to know it’s true.”

Finally, Derek begins to speak; A endless river of rapidly flowing words: “What do you want me to say Y/N? That I’m in love with you, that I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met all those years ago at that party Colson threw, but that I never made a move because I respected the fact that you had a boyfriend at the time. And that by the time that relationship ended I had already dug myself so deep in the friendzone that I didn’t know how to claw myself back out, so all I could do was offer you a shoulder to cry on, because I didn’t want to compromise our friendship. That it was more important to me to have you in my life forever, than to take a chance at love and possibly lose you forever. That every relationship I’ve had since then has failed, because mentally all I do is compare them to you, and they’ll never be good enough. That at times I’ve kept my eyes closed during sex with other women so that I could picture you beneath me instead. So to answer your question — yes, I have wondered what it would feel like to be inside you. I’ve whispered your name as I climaxed alone thinking about it late at night when I can’t sleep. In fact every stain on my sheets is because of you. Or that I’ve mentally picked out your engagement ring; a one carat Marquis-cut Solitare because you like the simplicity, with a white gold band because you think yellow gold is dated and platinum is unnecessary because white gold looks just as good for half the price. That I’ve imagined your belly swollen with my children; boy/girl twins because they run in your family. And we would name them Melody and Lyric after your love of music —especially the 90’s—and the fact that you’ve had the names picked out since you were a child yourself. And lastly, but most importantly that I’m so grateful that you were braver than me and admitted your feelings for me today because I don’t know if I ever would have found the courage.” He finally takes a breath. “Is that what you wanted me to say?”

“Yes!” Your eyes brim with happy tears. “That’s all I wanted to hear you say and more.”

“Good, cuz it’s all true,” his smile reaches his eyes. “Now where were we?” He sits up fully, his mouth transforming into a smirk before finding your neck again.

He licks, sucks and nibbles the column of flesh while he explores your body. The feeling of his mouth and tongue on your neck sends a tingle through your whole body straight to your core. His hands swiftly roam over your bra, cupping your breasts before ascending down your sides to your hips, then finally, landing on your ass. He grips in tightly, moving you against him. His breath is warm and heavy against your flesh, as he enjoys the friction. Sliding his hands up from your ass to your back, he pauses momentarily to unhook your bra. You assist him in its removal, shrugging the straps off your shoulders and tossing it to the side.

“Fuck, they’re even more perfect in real life, than my fantasies,” he gasps, grabbing two handfuls before swiftly rolling you over so that he’s now on top— now in control.

The quick position change catches you by surprise and you let out a small playful shriek that makes Derek laugh as he pins your wrists above your head.

“I love you so much.” He kisses the words into your chest.

“I love you so much, too — Fuck…” you let out a ragged breath at the feeling of Derek taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He teases the tender nub with his teeth tugging gently, the arousing sensation causing you to squirm underneath him. Derek looks up, watching your face morph in pleasure: eyebrows knitted, lids closed, mouth open. He continues to suck and tease your breasts, really getting into it, when suddenly his mustache brushes against your sensitive nipple making you laugh.

Derek pauses a moment. “What’s so funny?”

“Your mustache—it tickles.”

“Yeah?.. .” he smirks. “I’ll show where else it tickles.” With his fingers hooked in the waistband of your leggings and panties, he quickly tugs you to the foot of the bed, pulling them down to your ankles in the process. You kick them off the rest of the way and Derek settles between your legs, wrapping an arm around each thigh before pulling you to his mouth. The instant his tongue and lips make contact with your wetness, all your breath leaves your body; and with the way he’s now begun a pulsating suction on your clit, you know your soul will be soon to follow. But the second your back arches off the bed and your legs begin to tremble, he pauses and switches things up, licking lazy circles around your clit. He selfishly wants to make this last.

“Fucking tease,” you whimper, collapsing back down against the bed. You let out a low moan as he slides two fingers inside you, working them in tandem with his tongue. It’s hard to describe the alluring yet slightly taboo feeling of his fingers—that you once only knew in a friendly manner: holding back your hair after one too many drinks or holding your hand while you've cried —are now inside of you on a journey to your peak. Each lick of his tongue and added friction of his mustache kindles a fire in your abdomen. Each curl of his fingers stokes the flame higher and hotter, until you're engulfed in the blaze of your orgasm. “F-uck— Derek, don’t stop!” You wail in ecstasy, reaching out to grab the back of his head as your legs clamp around the sides of his face. He works you through your orgasm, slowly and gently taming the inferno down to glowing embers.

Slowly, he begins kissing back up your torso, his bright blue eyes looking up at you through messy midnight stands. As he makes his way to your lips you can’t help but notice droplets of your arousal still clinging to the tips of his mustache like morning dew. You reach out and cup his face with both hands.

“Saving this for later?” You tease, swiping your thumbs over the residue on the dark hair of his upper lip, before pulling him in for a kiss.

Surprisingly turned on at the fact that you can still taste yourself on his tongue, you moan into the kiss as Derek fumbles with his belt and zipper. Once undone, you aid Derek in the removal of his pants and boxers, wrestling them off with your legs and feet while you continue to steal each other’s breath with your needy mouths.

With both your nude bodies pressed together, Derek reverses your positions, so he’s on the bottom but sitting upright with you perched on his lap.

“Ready?” he reaches down to graps himself, watching as he teases the head back and forth between your excited folds before guiding himself to your entrance. Both your bodies move in unison; him slowly pushing in as you sink down, then finally meeting at the hilt.

For a moment neither of you move, your eyes locked, joyful smiles spread across your face as you just take in everything that comes with being connected like this— the emotions, the sensation, the way he fits like he was molded just for you, the long awaited fantasies come to fruition. It all feels too good to be true, both you and Derek’s eyes well with happiness. A single tear rolls down your cheek and Derek thumbs it away, cradling your face.

“I love you, Y/N—,” his voice cracks “and I always will”

“I love you too, Derek I’ve waited for this for so long”

“Me too,” he smiles, pressing his forehead to yours.

Naturally, your bodies respond to one another and fall into rhythm— you rocking your hips in his lap as he gently thrusts, using your backside for leverage, pulling you in. Each following movement increases in speed and vigor until the meeting of your bodies is audible—although the sound of you chanting Derek’s name drowns it out.

“Derek, FUCK—!” You pant, as he marks up your neck. “DER—EK! Fuck you’ve got me so close!”

“Fuck, y/n, want you to ride me,” he moans breathily into your ear, pulling you down on top of him as he lays back. “Yeah, fuck, j-just like that” he grips your hips, as they rolls in waves against his pelvis.

“God, Derek, I’m so close!” You begin stirring your hips faster and faster until you feel your climax start to build.

“Me too.. Mmmhmm, Fuck, Cum for me!” He helps guide your movements when they falter and grow sloppy the closer you get to your peak.

And then it hits: a bolt of pleasure striking in your abdomen, sending tendrils of electricity buzzing through your body, as you cry out in ecstasy. The way your walls contract around him has him dangerously close as well.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.” He quickly rolls you both over and pulls out, pumping himself a few times before finishing on your stomach. “S-sorry…,” he starts, out of breath. “… couldn’t remember… if you were still taking … birth control or not?”

“I.. am.” You reply, equally out of breath.

“Ok good, lemme get you cleaned up.”

Derek retreats to the bathroom and returns with a warm cloth. He wipes his remnants from you, tosses the cloth in his laundry basket and lays down beside you. You scoot closer to him and place your head on his chest,tracing delicate circles through his chest hair, while you both silently bask in the post-sex afterglow.

“I wanna lay like this forever,” Derek breaks the silence.

“Until the sky falls down on me,” You agree with a smile.