#this was once again done completely on impulse

[chairteeth]

Touka, Nemu, and self-perception

Yet another TouNemu rant! Self-perception this time! Surely this CANNOT GO WRONG! Spoilers exclusively for TouNemu-related stuff in Arc 2. You will most likely be fine given that the only faction I even mention here is the Union and it’s mostly to bash them over the head with a metal chair for the crime of kicking rescue puppies. Insane ramblings beneath!

This may not seem related, but I want to start by talking about what Touka and Nemu are like as parents and why, because it's very interesting (by parents I mean with Sakurako). Touka learned the dos from her dad, and Nemu learned the don'ts from both of her parents. If you compare the parenting styles of the Satomis vs the Hiiragis, a few patterns emerge. Touka's mom we are disqualifying as per my own made up lore explanation for her absence (heart condition depression guilt spiral), but before I say anything about Nemu's mom, I'm gonna compare the two dads, because when you think about it they're a little similar! 

Nemu's dad is literally a ghost. We have NEVER ONCE seen that man but we have had him mentioned multiple times. Unlike Touka who avoids mentioning her mom ever (other than the one time in her MGS’ Episode 3 and also the time Nayuta mentioned her in her quotes), Nemu does mention her dad a bunch, usually in the same context as her mom, which implies a few things that I may get into later, however the excuse/explanation given is that he's busy with work. Which if we put him next to Touka's dad is an interesting (read: terrible) excuse. Touka's dad is very busy. He's busy with politics stuff apparently, with the multiple businesses he owns (as far as I’m aware), with the hospital he's a director of. Things were probably easier when Touka was still hospitalized, yet in Arc 2 he makes time for his child, even when it's not "necessary". So what's your excuse exactly, Mr. Hiiragi?

That interesting comparison aside, Nemu's mom has entirely shaped her parenting style, perfectly on display with Sakurako. You will notice that Nemu always asks Sakurako questions. About her day, about her emotions, etc. You know. Just like she wished her mom had done for her, which Mrs. Hiiragi of course never did. What with her habit of visiting her hospitalized terminally ill child only to infodump her and leave. Nemu also cooks with Sakurako like her mom cooks with her (on occasion, when she remembers she has a daughter). Essentially, Nemu is acting with Sakurako like she wishes her mom would act with her. I need to stress the psychological impact this tier of emotional neglect has had on Nemu; once again, this is a hospitalized, terminally ill child, who has been isolated and away from home for years (presumably). But the isolation and pain of being an inpatient, likely most often in pain, not knowing if you’ll see the light of morning each time you go to sleep, and complete lack of emotional support from adults was not enough! Of course not. Instead, Nemu was parentified.

Hear me out. You may not have thought about it before, but Nemu, the people pleaser that she is, has been made to cater to and take care of the emotions of fully grown adults (her parents), and like most victims of abuse/neglect, she defends them. The poor girl desperately wants her family to love her. She assume-gaslit herself into thinking her mom handmade the socks she got for Christmas while hospitalized AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Nemu, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but literally nothing I've seen from your family tells me that your mother would do that. When a child forcefully matures faster than they should, it very much scars them mentally, like the physical stretch marks some of us get when we’re younger from growing too much too fast. Being forced to take care of oneself, feeling misunderstood, closing off from your peers, being parentified by the adults around you, just generally growing up before you're prepared for it… In an isolated hospital environment, Nemu and to a slightly lesser extent Touka (and to an even lesser extent Ui), had to, in some aspects, mature much faster, but were left with a complete void in terms of experience.

Children learn mainly from the experiences they have, and on that, Touka is right. They were robbed of those experiences. All three of them thus show signs of resentment issues, self-blaming issues, and "I'm a burden" issues (Touka may not have that last one, but she has other issues to make up for it). There's also just the inherently traumatizing experience of waking up in pain. Being helpless. Finding scarce enjoyment in being alive because you're so in pain all the time. The extremely scary idea that you will not know if the pain/discomfort you feel is Just Another Tuesday of living in your body or if you’re in urgent need of medical attention and should perhaps inform the doctors/nurses that something is wrong. Not knowing if something is actually wrong or not, and the habit of keeping it to yourself because you either don’t want to bother others/be a burden or you don’t want to be seen as the Boy Who Cried Wolf of the ER, can lead to absolutely terrifying situations. For example you could have a horrible kidney infection that’s almost septic and not realize it because well, you’re always in pain/uncomfortable around that area. Surely this is nothing. When you’re used to being in pain, you stop noticing it as much. Desensitization. It’s confusing and distressing to live every day in a body that is deeply and terribly sick like that, ESPECIALLY for a child.

Anyway. Back to Nemu specifically. She mentions in her quotes that although people say she doesn’t show her feelings much (or that she “lacks emotion” as NA my beloathed put it), she feels plenty in her heart. Hey… Hey wanna know why that is? Sure it’s part of the way she is by nature, but a big part of why she’s like this is—take a wild guess—her parents! Again! From her perspective as we saw in her MGS, she sees her emotions as a burden on others, particularly her family. The reason she seems emotionally distant is actually one very fun (read: sad) flavor of the people pleaser. Actually, I think I’m going to quote this post:

"Think about it. In real life, the person that's bottling up all their emotions is not the one that's brooding in the corner and snaps at you for trying to befriend them. More often than not, it's that friendly person in your circle who makes easy conversation with you, laughs with you, and listens and gives advice whenever you're upset. But you never see them upset, in fact they seem to have endless patience for you and everything around them—and so you call them their friend, you trust them. And only after months of telling them all your secrets do you realize… they've never actually told you anything about themselves."

Guess who fits the “emotionally repressed character who is mellow” type! That’s right! Our resident sad author! That’s, also why in some of my AUs I give her severe repressed anger issues but that’s beside the point. That whole post is very much just… Nemu. She separates herself so that she won’t be hurt—or at least, not as hurt as she would be if she was feeling everything in full. It's really really sad because she seeks out and buys gifts for her family, specifically learning everything they like down to their tastes (she even mentions her mom's taste in food). Just a quiiick consideration: does it seem to you like they're putting in even an ounce of the effort she's making? Because I have a feeling even Nemu must’ve realized what a lost cause it was, eventually. I can’t stop stressing how badly she wants to fit in and be a part of her family. Not to mention how badly the Arc 1 finale must have crushed her internally. In a family of athletes, with how excited she was during Arc 1 to get to Do Things in a healthy body? To lose one's legs?

Everyone leaves her behind… Well, everyone except Touka. Speaking of Nemu’s relationship with Touka! Back at the very start of things, in the hospital, I assure you that Nemu held Touka in this sort of hateful pedestal that she wanted nothing more than to rip her from, out of envy. Because Touka's dad evidently loves her, spends time with her, pays attention to her, gives her affection and Oh You Know. Everything Nemu has ever wanted. So I believe that if that relationship hadn't improved, Nemu would've grown to hate Touka, viscerally and intensely. Because simply put, she has everything Nemu wants and can never get. And when you're so isolated you have no one to talk to, especially if you're like Nemu or Touka (introverted and doesn't like talking to strangers especially about Emotions and Big Thoughts)… Coping mechanisms like writing will not get you that far if you don't have the support you need. Which leads me to MY NEXT POINT:

“If I can't be useful, I am worthless.”

Ha. Hahaha. So. I've gone on and on about just how bad an inpatient hospital environment is for a child, especially a child genius with little to no emotional support who is also terribly socialized. But I really need to talk more about the prodigy trauma. I am pretty sure more than one person reading this will be familiar with being considered "gifted" either period or only as a kid due to neurodivergence or whatever. Society is NOT nice to gifted children/geniuses. And, adults tend to praise children who show a lot of academic prowess and encourage those interests. The problem is that they often do it so much that it's everything the child ties their identity and self worth to. They also do not praise other things, as in only the highlight is ever praised, which causes even more severe tunnel vision and a more deeply rooted sense of This Is My Special Thing That I Am Good At And I Must Always Excel At It (this often leads into pretty bad perfectionism). For example, Touka's dad tells her on multiple occasions that she has to use her prodigious intellect to help others. He does this with good intentions. HOWEVER let's just say that may not have processed quite like he expected.

Let me try to go layer by layer with this. I'll use Touka because she's the more "traditional" type of genius (the STEM kind). I know that in private circles I have joked about her having a budding praise kink because of how she reacts to being called smart BUT it's actually at least mildly concerning that she completely changes her tune on something when praised, and she's only ever praised on her intelligence. That is what makes her her. It's what makes her special and unique. Touka has a superiority complex and an inferiority complex simultaneously which I will elaborate on at some point, but her dad has also sooort of tried to drill noblesse oblige into her. By the way she speaks (the astronomy class presentation in her MGS Episode 3, her line about Nemu's writing in Nemu's MGS Episode 3, that one damn scene in Arc 2 Chapter 5)… she sees the world entirely in terms of giving and taking and stealing. And that's, not hugely healthy, for starters, but then! Arc 1 happens. And I already talked about what Arc 1 did to both Touka "Maskwearer" Satomi and Nemu "People Pleaser" Hiiragi (their mental health is so good! /s), I have one essay for each of those. But I don't think I've ever discussed what happened in their heads after Arc 1. Because arguably, that was worse. I have another essay about the development of their characters in the works but I’m trying to actually make that one a bit more well-organized so it may take a little longer.

Touka had a job to do. Nemu had a job to do. They had a goal and a purpose, a promise to deliver on. They failed. What then? What do they do after the dust clears? They panic. As soon as they've had some time to actually process the extremely traumatic shit they went through and how badly they have fucked up, they internalize all of their guilt and it destroys them from the inside out. And what can they do? Nothing, really. Everyone hates them. They're failures. They have no purpose. No use. Who are they? They don't know. They're lost. And no one is there to guide them. So they try to do what they think is right: taking themselves out of the equation. They serve no purpose and are of no use anymore. Worthless. All they've done is harm. Mind you, this is never at any point mended. These wounds are left to fester. If you pay attention throughout Arc 2, the Union relies on them for several things, but they're never quite part of the group. They never quite rise above their status that they gained after all that happened in Arc 1. Which is why they kept trying to throw their lives away, among other things. When you’re doing your best and your pretty significant efforts are never acknowledged, it’s extremely discouraging, and for them, works with a fun concept we call confirmation bias. And that leads me to the names I gave the two atonement suberas. Sinner and purpose. The sinner subera is the one where they are self-flagellating harder than worshippers of Loviatar in D&D, and the purpose subera is the one where they finally, finally find themselves a worthy goal to pursue. A challenge, a purpose. Something only they can do, this time with a bit of extra help.

The way they see everything is literally just "everything we do is wrong and hurts people" and "we can never do anything right." Every single time Touka perks up after an adult calls her smart and bends over backwards to prove that the adult is right I want to break something. Dr. Satomi had good intentions but my man has NO IDEA the damage he did with those teachings. Noblesse oblige aside, Touka just ties her identity ENTIRELY to being smart. That's all she is. If you pay attention to the way she speaks, she weaves this into her personality all the time, and the amount of time she explicitly brings up being a genius is both concerning and a badly disguised cry for help under a layer of arrogance that’s easy to peel back if you simply cared enough to look closer. When she's given a role like say, Magius, then she has a job, a responsibility, and *points violently at my Magius Touka essay* A PURPOSE. It’s not particularly good for her, but it’s something. She desperately needed direction, to be taught how to be, well, herself, and nobody gave her that. No one gave her or Nemu what they needed. You know what their elders did? Yell at them.

If you think about it. Do the others ever sit down with TouNemu and talk to them? Do they really? Or do they basically only pay actual attention when TouNemu inevitably make a mistake or do something they don't like, to berate them for it like they're misbehaving dogs? No wonder they isolate themselves and can only open up to/rely on each other. They have no one else. Even Iroha and Ui are comparatively distant now. Not to mention, these two probably believe they're everything from hard to love to incorrigible to perpetually evil, cannot be good or do good, etc. Do the others ever praise them when they do something good? Is there ANY positive reinforcement at all? I have not even touched f4's funny child abuse joke about how Kanagi dishes out corporal punishment to these two. The instance of it in Paradise Shift boils my blood personally because EVEN WHEN THEY DO A GOOD THING THEY GET PUNISHED. And guess what their reaction is? Nothing. Just a complaint on Touka’s part when they’re in private about how it still hurts. That’s literally the reaction of a child who’s been hit by their parents all their life and doesn’t know anything else, or alternatively the reaction of someone whose belief about deserving that punishment is deeply rooted in them and so they have no reaction to it. In my humble opinion, these two are literally saints, I would have snapped a while ago if I were them. Especially because literally no one has noticed or acknowledged their growth at all (other than each other). Ui and Iroha, supposedly the people closest to them other than each other, still thought they would fight until they came to blows as late as Mokyu's MGS.

And that brings me to something that a person I’ve talked to about this has brought up. Touka and Nemu do still occasionally behave in abrasive ways (mainly Touka), look down on others, etc. But I mean, can you blame them? They’re not really getting the right feedback. How are they supposed to know better? If you take a closer look, they are almost disgustingly soft and sweet with each other. And although arguably during Arc 2 they are very cordial towards people (Kagome and Sana come to mind as easy examples, with them even helping Sana publish her picture book online), when they do act in ways that push people away… It’s probably on purpose. Subconsciously or consciously. It proves them right about being unlovable and irredeemable. It’s the confirmation bias all over again.

Christmas String is once again an excellent example of both their bond (although sadly they spend most of the event in Work Mode) and their growth over the years—which they acknowledge themselves in the event, MGS, and quotes. In that event, they were kind to two children they didn't even know and even went out of their way to help them, despite claiming many times that they’re not kind people and “aren’t that type of person” to help others. They specifically cite that as a thing Ui is capable of, something Iroha does, but not them of course. In light of what I just said about their own perception of themselves, however, they would literally never recognize that they are actually kind people. They did so many unnecessary nice things for others even without the diary's influence in that event alone, and if you look at them you could tell they were pleased and happy every time they saw that they'd helped someone. They just genuinely believe that to be kind, you need to be Ui/Iroha. They were most often around people like Ui and Iroha, who basically emanate an aura of light and kindness and empathy, and it seems to come so naturally to them, so surely if it doesn’t come as naturally to Touka and Nemu, it means they’re bad. And they can quite literally never be Iroha/Ui. They say that themselves.

It's also because of introversion vs extroversion. A lot of the time extroverted people give off more… Kind, warm vibes, friendly vibes, even if they’re shy and anxious like Iroha started out as, because they're more open and talkative and they Thrive With People. Introverts like Touka and Nemu however often seem “cold,” “aloof,” “rude,” or “uncaring,” and this is especially the case when the introvert in question doesn’t display enough shyness and anxiety for their attitude to be deemed “valid” or “understandable” when in reality they would still help you just as the extroverts would. Granted, Touka and Nemu very often just, don’t wanna have anything to do with People. Them plain not talking to people or telling anyone that they *could* after Arc 2 until it became necessary is a good example of that. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t help or that they would turn a blind eye. Unlike Iroha, however, Touka and Nemu generally do the opposite of seeking people out except when the person they seek is the other; I do not think they count each other as “people” in the same sense as everyone else. In many ways. As that same person I talked to put it… “I want to be alone with you by my side.” Because they are each other’s only safe space, where they can be truly 100% themselves without fear of judgment and without expectations to meet. I could start yelling about their bond now but I shall Refrain for the sake of not making this even longer.

All of this to say that The Babies are very sad and very traumatized and they deserve the marriage they got. I will elaborate A LOT on the whole… Uwasa Queens thing, when I get to that part in the development essay. Thanks for reading today’s ramble! Do ask if you have any follow-up questions or want to know my thoughts on something else about them.

[chuluoyi]

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄 !

- gojo satoru x reader // zen'in naoya x reader

the path of love is never easy for you, be it now or back then. love, pain, betrayal and tragedy — you have been through them all. after all is said and done, you just want one chance at happiness. so will your second marriage be what you always want it to be, or will it be one last heartbreak you have to go through?

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—might be ooc, angst, hurt/comfort, a lot of fluff, marriage of convenience, explicit smut (semi-public sex), pregnancy, childbirth, mentions of curses

note: loosely inspired by and taking some elements of manhwa remarried empress. this is the final part of remarried empress au trilogy! wc. 9.4k ! i'm so happy with how well-received this little series is :') thank you so, so much for reading!

credit header goes to @/poro06625649 in twitter!

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“Satoru...”

Once, to you, love meant complete acceptance. To be able to accept someone so wholly, unquestionably, as they are.

Until you excelled in everything, a stone throw away from perfection even, and Naoya still spurned you.

When you married Satoru out of sheer impulse just to preserve your standing, you thought you had found that kind of love at last. Until it became clear a part of him wanted something else, and you couldn't accept that.

At the same time, you also felt like a hypocrite, because you wanted that love for you, and yet you couldn't give the same to him and even doubted him altogether. Using each other, you had even said.

But right at this moment... none of that mattered anymore.

Not when Satoru forcefully hurled Suguru aside, fought his way through the searing heat, tearing away debris after debris, punching through the remnants of the collapsing pagoda, all while dreadfully screaming your name.

“Where are you!? Gods, answer me!” He looked like a desperate madman. He was hyperventilating, bloodied, and yet he kept violently flinging the debris, determined to find you.

That sight of him struck you straight in the heart. He could've obliterated the whole tower with his ability if he wanted to, but he didn't. Doing so would seal your fate entirely.

He yelled your name once again, pouring his anguish and frustration into the air that his voice grew hoarse. “Where are you!”

If this isn't love, you thought almost tearfully. Then what is?

“Satoru!” and so you forced yourself to walk, despite being on the verge of collapse. Seeing him like this tore your heart to shreds. “Satoru!”

He stopped abruptly, his chest still heaving violently before turning to you. At first, he thought it was the voice inside his head. Everything around him was a chaotic blur, so when he turned to find you standing there, miraculously unharmed, he was stunned.

A shuddering breath escaped him as he gazed at you, the blue in his eyes filled with so much fright you had never seen before. "Y/N...?"

You staggered on your feet, your dress appearing singed at the edges—but you were there, alive.

"What are you doing!?" you admonished, almost in tears. "Why do you hurt yourself like that!?"

Suddenly, it was hard to breathe, but he didn't hesitate. He flung the splinter in his hand away and sprinted towards you, roughly pulling you into his arms.

"—!" he rasped, almost gasping for air, while squeezing the back of your head closer. "Heavens, I thought... I thought you were—!"

Satoru was trembling so badly in your embrace, unable to utter another word as he buried his face in your shoulder. He was beyond shaken—grunting, taking sharp breaths, and holding you so tightly that it left you at a loss of words.

He only pulled back once, albeit shakily, to have a good look of your face. There was one bruise on your cheek and you were covered in soot.

But you were still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"I'm fine..." you tried reassuring him, lips wobbling, placing a hand on his palm that touched your face. "I'm fine now..."

Then Satoru pulled you close again, and you came willingly. Simply holding you, he inhaled the scent of the roses mixed with ash in your hair, feeling your breath on his neck.

To see this man, usually so self-assured, reduced to such a mess out of fear for you touched you deeply. You nestled closer to him, feeling a sense of peace wash over you.

In that moment, as you two clung to each other, nothing else matters.

"You've always coveted what I have..."

The ice in your eyes and the chill in your words felt like a curse. Hanabi was beside herself every day ever since she had left Western Empire. No way, she even saw you in her dreams!

Granted, her impulsiveness had almost cost her everything. She shouldn't have placed that curse on the necklace— she shouldn't have dared to attempt it in the first place.

But seeing that piece that had tied you two together—the testament to Naoya's remaining affection for you, however small it was—made Hanabi burn with jealousy. Why did he remember you still? Hadn't he dethroned you and chosen her?

Also, why did you put it as if she had been trying to take all that you had? She was now a royal consort, she was just demanding what she was due!

"...and sooner or later, that will be your downfall."

Hanabi shivered as an intense chill seemed to enter her body, spreading rapidly to her limbs and brain, immobilizing her. What is it? Why are your words struck her to the core?

"My lady, are you alright?" her attendant walked up to her as she clutched her chest.

"I-I..." Hanabi faltered, trying to even her breath. "I'm not feeling that well..."

"Shall I get the physician? You do look pale..."

"Please do."

Damn you. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. You must've cursed her, that must be it! Why else did she keep hearing your voice?

"Sending you back to Naoya is a punishment in itself—you know that by now."

No, she had come this far. Even if she couldn't have Naoya's favor, even if she couldn't become the empress... she would fight tooth and nail to remain a consort.

After all, all her life, she was meant for this.

. . .

And true to her conviction... once again, fortune favors the bold.

"My lady, congratulations! You're with child!"

Hanabi blinked at the cheerful royal physician as he delivered the news. "R-really? Are you... sure?"

"Certainly! Oh, this is great news! The emperor will surely be delighted by this news!"

For a full minute, Hanabi sat there, stunned in amazement. She had really done it, and if it was a boy this time, then...

"Aha..." she burst into a small titter then, before breaking into a full-blown laugh. "Ahahaha!"

You're wrong, Empress Y/N. This time, I will show you.

"Congratulations, my lady!" the ladies around her gathered, showering her with praises. And Hanabi knew that finally, her time had come.

True paradise begins in hell. And now, I've risen from that hell.

Contrary to what you told Satoru, you were, in fact, not fine.

Shoko was the one who led you out of the burning pagoda, sustaining burns herself in the process. Immediately after you found Satoru, who was frantically on the verge of losing his sanity searching for you, you collapsed in his arms.

You had inhaled a significant amount of smoke, there was a gash in your arm, and you were even bleeding due to the stress.

And therefore, you were put on bedrest for the next upcoming weeks by the royal physician's orders and by extension, Satoru's.

However, during those three weeks, Satoru never visited you even once.

. . .

"Are you sure you're well enough to be walking around already?"

After being confined to your bedchamber for what felt like forever, you decided to take a stroll in the royal gardens. Shoko was the one in charge of watching you like a hawk these days. She didn't usually follow you around—you noticed she often went out on her own—but lately, she insisted on being by your side.

"Mm-hmm, I'm perfectly well now, Shoko," you gave her a smile as you admired the blue roses in the bushes. "You don't have to keep an eye on me all the time. I'm feeling better already."

You would be lying if you said you didn't miss your husband. A part of you of course wanted Satoru to check on you, or at least, your baby. Three weeks had passed, and your belly was now rounder and heavier.

"Oh, well... That's good then..."

Shoko seemed a bit unsure, frowning even, and you had your guesses, so you decided to bite the bullet. "How is Satoru these days?"

"Eh?"

"You must've seen him. He isn't avoiding you like he does me."

"Your Majesty..." Shoko let out a long sigh, seemingly exasperated and sorry at the same time, and you knew you hit the mark with it. "He's well, don't worry too much about him."

"Is he taking enough breaks?"

"He— err, I'm not really sure about that."

"Then, next time you see him, along with my general condition, tell him that I want him to do so."

You didn't mean to make Shoko uncomfortable, and if you did, then it was most definitely not what you intended. You just wanted a way to communicate with your brooding husband, that was all.

"You absolute imbecile! This is beyond ridiculous, why are you refusing to meet your own wife and talk to her?!"

If it had been anyone other than Countess Shoko, they would have certainly been hanged for their outrageous words against the emperor.

Satoru actually felt bitter for not visiting you ever since that day of the fire. Truth to be told, he was worried sick, the terror of thinking you might have perished in the blaze still lingered with him to this day.

He wanted nothing more than to hug you and bury his face in yours. He genuinely wanted you to be well and safe, always. Preferably, if he could keep you close too.

So, why did he avoid you on purpose?

First, the utter awkwardness. Second, the very fact that you had allowed those scums from Eastern Empire to be released. He still couldn't accept it, no matter how. In his eyes, you did it out of love for Naoya.

And that, in and of itself, was like a betrayal of his heart.

"She is becoming unhappy," Shoko noted earlier, frustration evident in her tone. "And on some nights, she also experiences hip pains due to carrying your baby. You're heartless if you don't even come to look at her even once!"

But then, Satoru felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. His unborn child.

...he had left you more or less alone now, hadn't he?

In reality, you preferred the secluded comfort of your study over the royal gardens.

And yet, that beloved study Satoru gifted you on the day he married you and you became the empress of Western Empire felt constricting lately. You almost felt claustrophobic.

Maybe it was the burgundy walls, or perhaps it was the sting of bitterness in your chest that you tried to suppress so others wouldn't see. You didn't really care which though.

So, you often wandered through the gardens to enjoy the fresh air, and at times, stopping by the spot where the pagoda once stood.

Nothing. Now that was all that left. The image of a once-beautiful tower reduced to dust and the scorched earth evoked a sense of loss within you, and what made it more painful was knowing that you were the one responsible for its destruction.

But still, what hurt the most was... what had happened to the man who had trembled with fear, believing you might not have escaped the burning pagoda? Why had he spared you with nothing at all?

"Meow..."

You looked at the squirming cat in your arms, his fluffy tail tickling you. "Oh, Sugu-chan, do you want to take a walk too?"

The clear blue eyes of Satoru's pet cat looked back at you demurely before he leapt out of your arms and trotted ahead, as if leading the way.

With nothing better to occupy your time, you often played with Sugu-chan to amuse yourself these days. The cat, with its gentle disposition, frequently curled up next to you for comfort and he somehow made those days better.

"Sugu-chan, don't stray too far!" you called out, trailing closely behind him. Knowing well that you weren't well enough to chase after him should he run off, you watched to ensure he didn't disappear from sight. "Oh!"

And sigh, he did just that. Sugu-chan leapt into the bushes, prompting you to release a resigned breath before navigating through the maze-like foliage.

"Sugu-chan, where are youuu?" you drew a breath, glancing around in confusion. "If only you were calmer like your namesake..."

After navigating several corners, you turned another and spotted a fluffy white fur, and you swore to the skies that you would yank Sugu-chan by his tail if he were to wander off again, when—

"Meooow!"

"Bad, bad cat! Why did you bite me—!?"

—and there you saw your husband, crouching down as he clutched his hand, before he whipped his head to look at you—

"Satoru," you straightened your back by instinct, your heartbeat quickening.

His eyes turned blank for a second, before those blue pools regarded you with a look you couldn't really discern. "Y/N."

. . .

It was awkward silence throughout the way. You didn't even realize when you had arrived at Satoru's study.

You had wanted this unsettling atmosphere between you to end. Why couldn't both of you just be honest already? You were about to voice your thoughts when suddenly Satoru, who had his back on you, suddenly said:

"I will not have a scandal. Therefore, you will behave in a way that nothing is known against you. In return, you will retain your privileges as the empress of the Western Empire, and continue to fulfill your duties."

That? That's the first thing he said to you after those weeks sonorous silence? This stiff, faux nonsense of him pardoning you of your supposed treason?

"Is that all you have to say to me?" you blurted almost immediately, feeling your anger rising. "After everything—"

"After everything— yes." Satoru's back was still facing you, his light blue robes shifted slightly as he tucked his hands inside his pocket pants. "Despite everything, I have nothing but concern for you, Empress. And your act of treason— even if you take no offense, I still consider it a stain on my name to let a pair of criminals go free. Consider it my generosity that I decided to overlook it."

Your body felt like shaking, his strained and formal words irked you, and at the same time, pierced through your heart and tore it to pieces.

"I've told you— I can't let Megumi be condemned for a deed he hasn't committed," you stated firmly, staring hard at his back as if you could bore a hole through him. "He is a kind boy, he used to be my ward. And you know as well as I do, he isn't capable of such a thing!"

"What about that consort—the woman who overtook your place?" he suddenly turned to face you, and the expression on his face almost made you shrink. There was no emotions in his eyes, just a dark hue of blue. "She was the one staging it, wasn't she?"

"I'm not vindictive enough to sentence her to her death here, Satoru." The more you argued about this, the more you felt like you were losing him. "Naoya will deal with her as he sees fit."

The mention of your ex-husband seemed to trigger something in him that his lips curled into a sneer.

"So much trust you place in him. As I thought, I should've never expected the same for me. Granted, we're just using each other, aren't we?"

Your own words thrown back at you, it felt like your shattered heart was being stomped on and reduced to dust, because how could he?

Still, you blinked away your tears, steeling yourself with the one fact even Satoru wouldn't be able to refute. "You said it yourself—you intend to use me for your war against the Eastern Empire. How am I not supposed to see that as you using me?"

You let out a scoff when Satoru wasn't able to answer you, but then suddenly it occurred to you that there might be another reason, one you had suspected, and yet still not able to make sense of.

"I'd think jealousy is insulting to you, so why?" you questioned, suddenly feeling a sense of betrayal. "Why is it that you can't believe that I can love you the same way I did Naoya? Or possibly even more?"

To Satoru, that very thought still felt like a thorn inside his chest. How you managed to see through him almost made his facade falter—

"And if you feel that it's unfair to you how you're the one who keeps proving yourself—then tell me," you suddenly demanded with a gritted teeth. "How am I supposed to believe you've loved me when I know marrying me came at just the right time for your goals?"

"That's not true!" he suddenly raised his voice, all pretentiousness forgotten. Right in this moment, to your surprise, he no longer resembled the cold, distant emperor he seemed to be.

“From the very moment you led me by the hand twenty years ago, I’ve longed for you! And now that I finally have you— it goes beyond mere infatuation or obsession! Heavens help me, but fuck it— I love you so damn much!”

It was everything. Satoru had poured his entire heart out in one go, believing it would be enough, until he saw you trembling, visibly holding back tears.

Your pretty eyes widened as you took in his confession. Your precious lips parted slightly, wobbling in effort to hold yourself together—

—until you felt light all of a sudden, as if the boulder in your heart had came crashing down, as if you had let go of all fears, and a small chuckle escaped you.

"You said, the woman you thought to have a semblance of affection for you doesn't exist," your voice was uneven but you tried so hard to sound clear, a relieved smile forming on your lips. "But she does. I do."

“I love you, Satoru.” The first of your tears fell then, and your voice came out in a sob. “I believe I love you. I'm the happiest while being with you. And so, to hear you say that I'm just a part of your plans makes me so incredibly sad, I—”

“I just want… the honest truth from you.” You took a deep breath to steady yourself, your eyes glistening like diamonds as you fought back the tears.

He swore something inside him twisted and bled at your voice, and suddenly, nothing else mattered—

Not when you have bared everything.

Before he could think, he took two decisive strides towards you and pulled you into his arms.

"Don't cry..." he pulled you tighter into him. "I'm sorry— don't cry, sweetheart, please—"

You kept sniffling into him, and Satoru felt his heart break then, as never had he seen you so utterly dejected that you surrendered in his arms.

How was it possible that the mere realization and sight of your genuine affection and tears reduced him to a man who would give up everything for you?

“It’s true, I have been planning to wage war against Eastern Empire for years. I took measures to keep them in check, and I do think having you by my side would definitely give me an advantage. But that’s not it... when I saw how you were being wronged there, I was even more convinced it was the rightest thing to do.”

He loves you. Even if he had committed various things, be it heinous or deceptive, one truth that transcends all is that his love for you is genuine.

“You mean so much to me,” he whispered into your ear, his hand tracing along your spine. “Everything else might be true, but you— no, I have loved you first before everything.”

Oh. You looked up to him, finding his clear, steadfast gaze on you. So this is how he is like when he isn’t hiding behind that crafty smile. When he is being most truthful.

The overflowing emotions obliterated whatever doubts you had left. You felt full. A profound, pervasive sense of love radiated through your myriad thoughts.

And to him, nothing was more liberating than knowing that you returned his love with equal fervor.

You felt bliss... utter bliss.

You didn't really know when you fell asleep, but it felt like the best rest you had in ages. For weeks, you had been waking up in the middle of the night, either in cold sweat or feeling tingling, barely-there stabs in your growing belly. On those nights, you would clutch the pillow beside you for comfort.

But tonight, you felt warm, and the first thing you noticed was Satoru's hair right in your face. He had laid his head above your chest, and his fingers were gently stroking your visible bump.

"Satoru...?" you asked sleepily, and he immediately turned to you in slight surprise.

"Did I wake you?" he looked almost alarmed. "Or do you feel any kind of pain or—?"

"No, just—" and you bit your lip when that familiar stab of pain shot through your hips. Your hand pressed against the spot as you let out a small grunt.

"Hey, what do you feel now?" Satoru immediately moved beside you, capturing you in the warmth of his embrace. "Does it hurt much? Do I need to call for—"

"No need to, it's fine—"

"It's not fine," he firmly retorted, his jaw set in a tight line. "The royal physician will come here first thing in the morning and that's final."

A faint smile formed in your lips as you curled closer and sighed contentedly into him. "Whatever you wish then, Your Majesty."

Satoru took that as a hint of sarcasm, but he simply pressed you closer and placed his warm hand over the spot where your hand rested. "Shoko told me. How long have you been enduring this?"

"Fairly recently, actually. A few weeks or so..."

I never knew. He berated himself because how would he be aware of this when he had completely shut you down? The stress must've gotten to you, and you were so delicate right now...

"Sorry," he sighed into your hair, his voice so quiet it was almost unheard. "From now on, everything that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me."

You looked up at him, searching his face, and when your innocent eyes met his, he relented.

"I'll do everything in my power to ensure you have a smooth journey in delivering our child." His words, sharp yet genuine, made your heart nearly leap out of your chest. "I hate seeing you in any sort of discomfort."

He fretted over you this much and yet he used to think you wouldn't show him the same affection in return. That was so ridiculous when you thought about it now.

"Ah," you giggled freely, wrapping your arms tight around him, and Satoru was taken aback at how that simple affirmation from you made something inside him feel lighter.

His endearing queen, who loved him back, now right in his arms. As he massaged your waist, he thought back to many years of careful planning and schemes, just for one particular goal...

“Not anymore,” he told you quietly, and you sleepily blinked your eye open. “I love you too much to break your heart.”

“Hmm?”

You were puzzled, and could feel his hot breath at such a close distance. And then those blue crystal of eyes met yours, full of warmth, and the corners of his lips curved into a soft smile, one that caught you by the heart.

“I’m made of many things. The emperor of this land, a soldier of many ambitions... but in the end, just a man.” His voice was languid and yet so gentle that it almost lulled you to sleep again. “If it were up to me, I’d have no qualms with warring the Eastern Empire. But now... I no longer wish to do that.”

Anticipation surged within you at his words, but still...

Noticing your reluctance, Satoru pinched your cheek and smiled. "It's not what you want. I thought I could proceed with it even if it'd leave you heartbroken... but apparently I can't."

And with his next proclamation, you knew without a doubt that this time, they were truer than anything else.

“And do you know? Because I love you, I’m willing to do anything for you. Mark my words, my queen— From now on... Heaven and earth, I would give it all to you.”

"Mm..." Whether it was your hormones or the sheer sincerity that shone through his words, tears were brimming in your eyes as Satoru gave you his oath. "Thank you... for thinking of me."

"Anything for you, sweetheart." He dipped his head to press a kiss on your lips and you were about to snuggle closer to him when you felt that familiar flutter and suddenly let out a gasp—

"Satoru!" you exclaimed, almost startling him, but you immediately reached out and placed his hand on your belly. "Feel it!"

And then, his eyes widened slightly. It was the most wondrous moment he had ever experienced in his life as he felt the baby inside you kick and ripple beneath his palm.

"Ah..." he exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Baby... she moves..."

The very idea of a precious baby girl that was an exact replica of you suddenly made his heart lurch. Satoru swore in that moment to protect her with his life... he didn't know it was possible, but he was already in love with her even when she wasn't born yet.

"Why are you so sure it's a girl?" you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck and smooched his jaw when he was rendered speechless. "I want a boy, you know."

Satoru snapped out of his trance and sullenly huffed. "I still hope it's a girl. I want a princess I can spoil rotten."

"I want a baby boy who looks like you." Your sincere wish surprised him, and he turned to you in bewilderment. "That way, even when you're away, I won't miss you as much since I still have the little prince near me."

"Ha." Satoru feigned a snort to cover the faint blush steadily gathering in his cheeks. Good heavens, how cute was it that he wanted a girl who resembled you and you wanted a boy just so he'd look like him? He was so giddy that he failed to come up with a witty comeback for you.

Pure bliss. After everything, this is your life from now on.

Shoko stood in front of your chambers the next morning, her heels clacking like a ticking watch of doom.

Unlike the everlasting frown etched on her face, she was actually in a dilemma, debating her choices outside your chambers. It was late morning already, but she'd hate to go in if you were not alone.

If she went ahead and caught you with Gojo on your bed—and worse, naked—with her own eyes... no, it was unthinkable what the sight would do to her. She would never recover. She would spew unforgivable profanities and Gojo might have her banished for real.

"What are you doing?"

Shoko whirled around so fast to suppress her shriek, and shot a look of distaste as soon as she saw who was behind her—Duke Geto. "Don't sneak up on me like that! You're not small like Sugu-chan!"

Suguru, prim and neat with his tied bun and black robes, raised one eyebrow, clearly swallowing any comments regarding the cat. "What are you doing, loitering in the hallway?"

"The empress hasn't woken up yet, and it's nearly midday. She has engagements with the master of tea parties later."

"Don't bother. Satoru's there. He'll most likely tell you that her schedule can be rearranged, and his word is law."

Shoko barked a laugh and Suguru too broke into a smile.

"So, they're good now?"

"Yeah... seems so."

"Thank fuck. Gojo owes me one for this."

The two friends chuckled again, relieved to know that the cold war between both of you had ceased.

Suguru leaned against the wall, his eyes crinkled at a memory. "Don't you remember those days, when Satoru used to watch the empress at each and every ball we attended, back when she was still the crown princess?"

Shoko crossed her arms, letting out a loud snort. "Oh yes. Everyone talked about him. The prince smitten by a rival country's betrothed... his reputation took a hit, but he never cared."

"I never took him seriously until recently. He was so adamant in his plans for the East that I thought... maybe it was all just to realize his war plans."

"Geto... don't tell me," the countess eyed her longtime friend incredulously. "Have not seen enough of the empress' paintings hanging in the halls? Is that not convincing enough for you?"

Throughout almost one year of your marriage, Satoru had commissioned at least five paintings of you to hang in the palace halls. Servants, members of parliament, and peerage must have seen at least one of your pictures whenever they turned a corner.

"If that's not stupidly in love, I didn't know what that is." Shoko shook her head with a smile. "Gojo has been spellbound for like years. I just never thought he'd really have her in the end though."

Suguru and Shoko had been by Satoru’s side for many years. Suguru was the closest to him still, and he had seen his friend for everything he was.

And knowing that Satoru was genuine in choosing this path, all Suguru could do was be happy for him.

“Life always has its ways… heh, I suppose all’s well that ends well.”

SOME MONTHS LATER . . .

"There, there, Sugu-chan!"

Suguru flinched. Satoru snickered.

"Meow!"

And you continued to tickle the white cat happily, seated a few feet away from both of them with a broad grin on your face.

"Should... Her Majesty be so close to the cat?" Suguru eventually asked, casting a skeptical gaze on you. The presence of the feline was certainly not what he expected when he entered Satoru's study per his summons. "It's dirty often and may affect her health."

"No, no... I never let him walk outside anymore and he has to be cleaned all times before the empress plays with him." Satoru's sly smile was a clear sign of taunt. "Suguru~ Won't you play with him too?"

Suguru shot him a withering look, his eyes twitching again the moment you addressed the cat by his childhood nickname.

"Oh, Sugu-chan, you're so gentle..." you exclaimed with a giggle. Your fingers gently scratched the cat's chin and behind his ears, causing him to purr happily and roll onto his back.

"Meooow~"

"Anyway, why did you call me here?" Suguru let out a sigh, disregarding the background noises and leveled a questioning look at his friend and ruler of the country.

"Hmm, nothing of importance actually, my cat just misses you is all," Satoru shrugged nonchalantly and Suguru really was about to pop a vein at his blatant response.

He then threw a sharp glance towards the pet and Sugu-chan immediately let out a dissatisfied hiss. This was always the way since the first day Satoru adopted him.

"Your cat, evidently, dislikes me at first sight."

"That's because he senses your animosity!"

Seeing how uncomfortable the duke looked, you suppressed a laugh and scooped up the feline into your arms. "Forgive me, Duke Geto. It's my idea to bring you here since I'm curious how you'd react if you and Sugu-chan are in the same room..."

...well, if it was your wish, who was he to deny it? Satoru would come for his head first should he do so.

You winked. "I'll bring him out for a walk, feel free to talk to your heart's content."

"Don't overexert yourself," Satoru warned, his playful expression towards him shifting to a concerned look for you, surprising Suguru in the process. "If walking is too much, take a rest."

"Yes, yes... I'll be fine~"

Satoru never took his eyes off you until you left his study, and Suguru couldn't help but smile.

"The way you always soften around her will never fail to surprise me," he noted with a hint of amusement.

"Then get surprised all your life because that's all I will do," he retorted with a proud smirk. "Oh right... how is the progress for the new courtyard?"

To replace the pagoda lost in your incident, Satoru came up with another gift for you—a private courtyard for your own personal pleasure. It still remained a secret from you, with Suguru tasked to oversee its construction.

"It's expected to be done before the empress' birthday, don't worry."

"Good..." His lips curved with satisfaction, before a blush tinted his cheeks. "And by then, the baby must've already..."

You were far along now, evident from how your dresses were no longer able to hide the curve of your swollen belly. He was to become a father soon, and anyone could see how elated Satoru was.

And suddenly he fixed his sharp gaze on his friend. "And Suguru, what about the other thing I asked? Have you looked into it?"

"Yeah...?"

"Zen'in Naoya's wench—" Satoru's eyes glinted with something akin to malice, as he still had that smile. "What did you find about her?"

Royal Consort Hanabi. A while ago, he also asked him to investigate her background, and Suguru almost forgot about it if he hadn't asked.

"Prior working as a palace servant, she was a former maid for Duke Kamo. As with all servants there, she was not treated kindly."

"Kamo? Interesting..."

The Kamo clan used to sit at Eastern Empire's throne up until Naoya's ancestors usurped it. Now, the heir remained a wealthy duke, and it was well-known that the fates of anyone who crossed him didn't end well.

Satoru hummed, barking a snort. "Well, I suppose that's it then. Suguru, proceed as is."

"I really thought you were done with any of your revenge plans." Suguru really didn't want to bring it up but he wasn't sure if this would bode well.

"I've given up on spilling blood, because that's not what my queen wants..." Satoru's smile froze on his face, yet his eyes sparkled. "But that doesn't mean I'll let that lowly bitch go unscathed. Our empress might be a saint and have chosen to spare her, but I most certainly am not as forgiving."

The chilly white light of the chandelier above him cast an eerie glow on Emperor Gojo Satoru at that moment, and Suguru almost shuddered.

"Didn't I tell you before? Anyone who dares to lay their hands on my empress... they have to pay the price."

Meanwhile in the Eastern Empire's palace, the royal consort still was the object of everyone's praises as of late.

It was almost astonishing how well she was treated recently, all because she was carrying the emperor's child, Hanabi thought with irony. So this was her life now.

Valued when she is able please the emperor, discarded when she fails to do so.

Sometimes it made her wonder, if it were still you in her place, would you be treated the same way? Or would you always be revered just like you were, unconditionally?

No matter. Her thoughts always leaned towards comparing herself with you, despite how much she hated it. Yet it was no use thinking of it now.

After all, now Naoya was in her arms.

She couldn't help but marvel at the sight of his sharp eyebrows and jaw. Hanabi had always thought, he was most handsome when he was vast asleep, when he wasn't hurling profanities at her or anyone else.

At first, she just wanted his love, and then a happy ending. She was never audacious enough to covet the empress' seat. But now she had to, after what you said to her.

"...that will be your downfall."

How could you? How dare you? Hanabi had gone through so much, who are you to dictate how her fates will turn out?

She now carried a son. She had even gone to an oracle to make sure of it. Soon, she would be the empress of this empire, and you would be forced to regard her as an equal.

And she was very much looking forward to that day…

Safe to say... you have long since thrown away any thoughts regarding the one woman who isn't worth a second of your time in your blissful days...

“Satoru, hng— ahh!” a lustful, provocative moan escaped your lips as you bucked your hips against his lips—face—and all the while, you weren’t even properly dressed.

But your emperor of a husband insisted on dipping his head inside your thin bathrobe and devouring you right on the staircase leading to the bathing chamber.

“Ah—aah—hah!” you threw your head back, spreading your legs impossibly wider around his shoulder, as you felt his lips licking your drenched nub.

You wanted so badly to see him, but weren’t able to do so as not only your belly had become such a dome that hindered you from seeing your lower half, Satoru hiding under your robes meant you wouldn’t be able to see him at all.

And so, all you could do was feel, feel and feel.

Feel how sticky wet your womanhood was, feel how his hair was tickling your thighs, and feel how as he eagerly sucked and nipped at you, it almost made you see stars—

“Satoru, the servants… mmrngh! Can walk in!” you tried to reason and yet failing at the same time as a shuddering pleasure washed over you like a rising tide.

“So be it,” came Satoru’s daring reply from underneath. “Let them see… and I’ll tell them— this is how their empress comes to be s-so swollen… with the fruit of my labors!”

You moaned again unabashedly, not even bothering to hold it back as the noises you made echoed throughout the hall, your fingers curling and clawing at the marbled tiles.

And soon, you couldn’t hold it in anymore as you came around his tongue.

“Ah…” you writhed breathlessly, feeling how your cum helplessly gushing out, limp against the stairs. Your body jerked, and cramped as you felt him taking in everything that came out of you.

When he was done, Satoru gently removed your light robe and embraced you, taking in every detail. He admired the cascade of your hair over your shoulder, the softness of your skin—seemingly even softer in recent months—and how your body gracefully accommodated the baby.

So heavy with his child… and yet it only roused his desires.

“Look at you, do I tire you out?” he chuckled, licking the remnants of your juice off his lips. You shot him an unamused look and poked his chest in response.

“Here, let me clean you up...”

After cleaning you, he gathered you and brought you to the bath tub, submerging both of you in the warm water.

Satoru pulled you close from behind, wrapping his arms around your upper body, gently kissing your neck.

“You’re so affectionate,” you giggled as you caressed his cheek. “I had half a mind that you’d be repulsed with how big I’ve become, and yet you never stray far from my bed.”

“Nonsense. Your chamber is the temple and I worship any ground you walk on.”

“You’re not worshipping me?”

“I do more than just worship you, my goddess.” Satoru drawled out with a lazy smile, burning a wet kiss on your face. “You know that.”

At this moment, you felt warm and fulfilled, resigning yourself to your husband's arms with a contented sigh... until you let out a low hiss when you felt the familiar pounding from inside your belly.

"Shh," Satoru warm hand pressed on the protruding spot in your bump, soothing you. "There, there... don't hurt your mama, hmm?"

Soon, you'd have your baby in your arms, and your heart melted at the very thought. That little baby would soon be running the palace halls, bringing joy to this empire.

"You know I'd protect you from anything and everything," your husband said to you in a whisper, lovingly breathing in your scent. "So my only wish for you is to deliver the baby safely. Afterwards, leave the rest to me, hmm?"

I don't want to lose you. That was clearly the fear behind his words. Satoru's grip on you tightened and you kissed his arm, reassuring him.

After everything you went through, this would be your happy ending, and you would do whatever it takes to win it.

And then the day comes —

Your labor pains started at the crack of dawn, and you were immediately brought to the birthing chambers afterwards.

Even within the confines of your chambers, your cries echoed through the halls. Shoko and several of your maids stayed with you inside, while the Archbishop guarded the entrance.

"It's almost a day and a half," Satoru muttered restlessly, unable to go on with his day as he paced outside. He had been with you when you woke up to your waters breaking, and he hadn't been able to think straight since.

A maid rushed outside with bloodied towels and he immediately stopped her. "How is the empress? Is she alright?"

The petrified maid bowed her head. "Her Majesty is losing blood, Your Majesty!"

He lost all reasons that very moment. "I have to come inside—!"

"You can't be in there, Your Majesty!" Archbishop Yaga sternly forbid, standing in his way. "It's women's business inside—you should be ready when they announced the birth of the child!"

Satoru's eyes twitched with fury and he was really about to drive past him when this time, it was Shoko who came out, looking alarmed. "Gojo! She's asking for you!"

"He cannot!"

"Suguru..." Satoru turned to his friend with a look and immediately, the duke went to the man side.

The emperor then regarded him with an unsettling smile. "Do you like being the Archbishop?"

"Huh?"

"Would you want to keep your position as the Archbishop?"

"Your Majesty!"

"Do you believe you can keep your position as the Archbishop... by defying me?"

Yaga fell silent, as if he had just swallowed a sour lemon, and Satoru seized the opportunity to push him aside. "Then move."

Even after Satoru had rushed inside, Suguru remained near the archbishop and Yaga looked at him incredulously. "He went inside already, why are you still here?"

"His Majesty's orders. Have to keep an eye for you for evaluation since he has another candidate in mind should he deem you unfit in your role..."

"Who is the other candidate!?"

"Ah, he told me his name was... Priest Akutami?"

. . .

Pain blinded your senses that you fell back to the sheets after strenuously pushing, and the next thing you knew, Satoru's face was in your sight.

"Sweetheart, hey..." he took hold of your hand and planted a firm kiss on it. His cerulean eyes gleamed brightly as he gazed at you. "I'm here now."

"Satoru—" your voice came out as a whisper, before another contraction seized you and you moaned. Your eyes rolled back involuntarily as the intense pain surged through you once more. You could feel how close you were, yet it was so painful you could barely breathe.

"Take deep breath, here—" he helped you to sit straighter and gave you his arm to hold.

"Your Majesty, I can see the head already!" the midwife exclaimed in joy, and Satoru turned to you with a smile.

“A little bit more,” he encouraged you, pressing a kiss on your temple. “Just a bit more, my sweet, you can do it, hmm? Here, hold onto me.”

And with his voice as your lifeline, you groaned and pushed once more, putting a part of your soul into it before you blacked out and collapsed in his arms.

At first, everything was silent, but then a sound reached your ears— a cry. Your baby's first cry.

"I-it's a princess!" the midwife announced, and the room erupted into gasps of wonder.

You looked at Satoru through bleary eyes, and for the first time, you saw him utterly speechless.

He was struck by the sight of that tiny being being gently cleaned by Shoko before his gaze returned to you.

You were sweaty, panting, limp, appearing haggard with tears in your eyes and streaking your face, and yet...

You are still the most beautiful thing he has ever laid his eyes on.

"A girl... just... like you wanted..." you managed to say with a hoarse voice and wobbly smile, and seeing you, without a moment's hesitation, Satoru went in and locked you in a deep kiss.

"Thank you—" even he himself was near tears when he pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours. There were so many things he wanted to tell you, countless celebrations he envisioned, all in praise of you and the heavens above for granting him such unparalleled happiness—

"...!" But suddenly, you curled into him, suppressing a scream and failing that it turned into a devastating wail, and you dug your nails into the flesh of his arm. "Ahhh!"

"What happened?" Satoru looked at you in alarm, then to the midwife who hurried to tend to you once more. "What happened to the Empress?!"

The midwife probed your belly, her expression lighting up with understanding. "O-oh my... there is another baby, Your Majesty!"

He didn't have time to dwell on the revelation when you cried out again. Setting aside all surprise, he aided you once more, and after more minutes of intense effort—

"A prince! The Empress has given birth to a prince!"

Twins. The whole Western Empire rejoiced at the news that their new empress had delivered a prince and princess for the nation.

Amidst the flurry of upcoming festivities and celebrations, you spent most of your days resting, as the birth had taken a lot out of you. Satoru took charge of the planning again, despite his busy schedule, and of course, he never failed to visit you and the babies regularly.

And whenever he did, his breath was always taken away.

Two precious babies lay still in the bassinet, peacefully asleep. Satoru gently poked each of them on the cheek.

The princess... as if the heavens had answered his prayers, she resembled you so closely that he fell in love all over again. She was so precious and small, and he imagined she would grow into a beauty just like you.

Satoru had sworn it before and did so again—he would protect her at all costs.

And the prince... he was so much like Satoru that it made his heart skip a beat. With his hair and eyes, his one concern was whether he had inherited his curse too. But regardless, he was determined to help and guide him should that day ever come.

When the boy cooed in his sleep, Satoru knew he too owned a part of his heart. He would definitely raise him well, teach him how to protect you and his sister, and one day, to succeed him as well.

As of you... you were asleep much like your children, and Satoru failed to hold back a smile. He gently combed your hair and just like that, you were roused from your sleep.

"Satoru, hello," you croaked and leaned into his touch.

His eyes fondly crinkled as he looked at you. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. It's been weeks. I've been feeling better for a while actually." You threw him a meaningful smile. "I might've cheated my way out of royal duties to rest..."

"Heh. Then keep cheating until the allotted time then. I'll permit it."

You raised an eyebrow. "When will my time be up?"

"The ceremony to present our babies..." Satoru played with your fingers. "We're expected to hold them and show them to the masses. You have to be there so they won't forget who the empress is."

"Right..." but you suddenly deflated and your husband tilted his head. "After that... we can't keep them out of the prying eyes anymore, everyone would delve into their affairs too."

Satoru's eyes fixed on you, sincere and true. "We can't avoid it, but if you wish for them to be out of the limelight for a little more time, I can arrange it. Your wishes come first."

The thought that your precious babies would be faced with many court intrigues made you want to keep them inside the protection of your womb a little longer. Yet, just as you and Satoru had experienced yourselves, sitting at the highest seat of monarchy required unbending will. Both of you would have to teach that strength to your children.

As if knowing what you were thinking, Satoru gathered both of your hands and squeezed it with a smile.

“Still, we are going to be there for them, are we not? Don’t worry. I’m here, and there’s no way I’m letting our son face any sort of curse alone.” He caressed your knuckles. “And you will be here for our daughter, teaching her how to become a magnificent lady just like you. As long as we’re here... they’ll be okay, hmm?”

Right at that moment, as you stared back at his deep, sparkling eyes, you could've sworn that you had fallen in love with Gojo Satoru once again.

You used to think that to love is to be accepted wholly, but after everything you had experienced, you realized that it also came with a load of worries, and you used to fear them, until...

A smile so pretty bloomed in your face as you squeezed his hand back.

“I love you,” you held his gaze unwaveringly, your eyes shining like glitters. “So long as we’re together, there’s nothing we can’t do, yeah?”

He seemed taken aback at first, before breaking into a smile so dashing it was almost blinding.

“Chasing after you and making you my empress is possibly the greatest deed I’ve achieved my entire life,” Satoru declared with a grin, and you knew your heart was truly his in every sense then.

“So, right. From now on and forevermore— You and me. Always.”

. . .

The presentation of the new crown prince and princess of Western Empire was an unforgettable affair. The grandeur of the celebration rivaled even the festivities of your wedding itself.

Given that it was both a ceremony for the babies and also nearing your birthday, Satoru decided to host a grand ball to mark the occasion. This lavish event ensured no one would dispute your position, regardless of how you came to hold it, and it was also befitting the bestowal of official titles upon your children.

Your son and daughter squirmed in their crib as they were brought forward, and once again, as you stood before the assembled court, you felt a twinge of reluctance to finally present them to everyone.

But Satoru's eyes held you with so much certainty that you found reassurance in his gaze.

And by the moment he cradled your son and you held your daughter, and he declared to the court—

"Here I present to you, the Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Western Empire!"

You feel wholly sure. With Satoru by your side, you let go of all your fears. Time and time again, he had proved the extend of his love for you, and as you ushered a new era with him, you believed all was going to be well.

Just like your coronation not long ago, the crowd cheered in joy.

Gazing upon the sea of people roaring and cheering below… a familiar warmth surged within you.

Once again, it was a sight beyond belief for you, as they chanted praises and acclamations—

“LONG LIVE THE CROWN PRINCE!”

“ALL HAIL THE EMPEROR!”

“LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!”

SOME WEEKS LATER . . .

"We've received a very strange invitation..."

You looked up from your baby boy and curiously peeked at one of Satoru's aides who was on duty today, Todo Aoi. He had come bearing news.

You had always thought he was quite eccentric, but today, he looked uncharacteristically serious.

"Strange, how?" Suguru questioned.

"From?" Satoru added with a totally uninterested expression.

"Eastern Empire," the man coughed awkwardly, as if thinking hard. "Apparently, a prince has been born and the royal consort is to be crowned as the new empress..."

"Who!?" Shoko, who was holding your baby girl, whirled around in surprise.

"Royal Consort Hanabi, I believe her name is. She is to be the Empress of Eastern Empire."

It was such a deafening silence all of a sudden that you could hear a pin drop. Suguru and Shoko gaped. You were stunned.

Only Satoru who didn't seem to show any reaction to the news.

Suguru cleared his throat, feeling the need to double-take. "Empress of... where?"

"That conniving hag..." Shoko muttered under her breath, before her gaze accidentally landed on you.

You were surprised, but strangely, you didn't feel anything. Long ago, you would've been heartbroken by this turn of events, but now, it just eluded you how she could maintain her position as long as she could. Well, when one is favored by luck, anything is possible though...

Satoru suddenly clapped his hands, letting out a mocking laugh.

"Is it really that surprising?" he asked with so much sarcasm, catching all four of you off guard. "When the emperor can barely fulfill his duties, even a scullery maid could rise to become the mother of the nation. The real question is..."

It was as if a sudden chill descended upon the room when he next spoke:

"How long... will she last?"

The question is answered soon enough.

Empress Hanabi's reign in the Eastern Empire lasted for only seven days. It was known as the greatest scandal ever gracing the history.

She had given birth to a son, who was appointed as the crown prince on the same day as her coronation. Emperor Zen'in Naoya personally led the ceremony. At first glance, it really seemed well...

Until seven days later, he suddenly erupted in fury.

The palace walls have ears, and behind closed doors, servants whispered about the incident. It began with Naoya launching into a tirade, claiming that the princess born to Hanabi previously, as well as the newborn prince, were not his by blood.

It was of the highest form of treachery to deceive the crown, and so a death sentence was about to be imposed on Hanabi for this… until the emperor suddenly fell ill due to a stroke, rendering him unfit to rule. Prince Megumi ascended the throne as the new emperor.

Despite his stern demeanor, the young emperor showed abundant kindness. He considered the plight of Hanabi's children, realizing they would be in peril without their mother, so he chose to banish her instead.

. . .

How did it end up like this?

Hanabi didn't know how many days and nights she had cried, cursing fate and her life, as she was being sent away from the palace.

Everything was in her grasp. Her very grasp! Until... until—!

She sobbed her heart out once again, mourning her short-lived life, before it was cruelly robbed from her.

Her children... they were all of Naoya's blood. Despite doubts surrounding them, she was faithful to him and to the crown. All of this... was all a whole scheme to trap her!

...was it you? Could you have orchestrated this? Could you truly be so wicked as to ruin her life entirely?

"You've always coveted what I have, and sooner or later, that will be your downfall."

Was this the price of defying her social status, just like your omen, after all...?

"That can't be!" she screamed inside the wagon set to bring her to the unknown, her voice drowned by the sound of the rainstorm happening outside. "Empress Y/N... you're a horrible human being!"

With every fiber of her being, she hated you so much for ever crossing your path with hers.

Even until the end, she never realized that it was all her own doing.

After hours of journey on the road, she was brought inside a mansion she failed to recognize due to the storm at the first glance. She had given up on resisting because it was futile.

But upon realizing who awaited her in the room, she trembled in fear and backed against the wall.

Hanabi wished she could lose her sanity amidst the whirlwind madness happening to her, because really, it might be better than all of this.

His impressive height gazed down at her from above. It was impossible to hide from his piercing stare.

Duke Kamo Choso, with his crooked sneer, greeted her.

"Well, hello, Hanabi... it has been a while, huh? Did you miss me?"

- END -

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[all-purpose-dish-soap]

everyone says soap is a munch. and that's true, but he's not sweet. when he's eating you, he's getting what he wants out of you.

nsfw ⬇

he's gotta be touching you. grabbing your ass and squeezing hard. pressing his thumb against your asshole to make you squirm and then digging his strong fingers into your hips to hold you still. he needs to be doing something with his hands.

soap's gotta be sliding his fingers into you because his understimulated adhd brain needs you to light him up and empty him out. he wants to focus on you and you're gonna give him something to focus on, like it or not. he likes to hear you moan and yelp and curse. he likes when you talk to him--unlatches his mouth just to mouth off back to you. he really likes it when he shoves his tongue back into you and feels you clench down on him, all twitchy on the inside. you're like his goddamn stress ball. you're on your back with your thighs around his head trying to scoot up the bed away from his impulsive fingers but he doesn't let you. keep talking. your throat is gonna be raw when he's done.

and if he gets tired of that--after he's done overstimulating you, once he's made you cum enough that you literally just cannot react like he wants--he's gonna grab you and put you on top of him. you think this is finally the part where he fucks you to completion, and you're fine with that because you're a hazy mess. but no. he lays down with you and then he stops you, your hands already on his chest, from straddling his hips. he tells you to turn around and face the other way instead. 

he grins that stupid cocksure grin at the realization in your eyes. but no, it doesn't help if you tell him you don't think you can hold yourself up. you wanna protest? that's cute. even if you try to scoot down until your folds are touching his cock--trying to tease him into just fucking you that way--he grins and grabs your hips and makes you turn around. you're straddling him again as he drags you by the hips up his chest. he positions you over his mouth again. you're so goddamn overstimulated and you don't think you have another one in you. but he's taking that as a challenge.

while he's maneuvering you over his mouth, you feel him breathing on your core, and he tilts you down so your stomach is pressed down on his abs. and his cock is in your face. at least there's no question that he's enjoying himself.

he drags his tongue up your folds again, and you muffle a moan, grabbing his cock. his hips twitch and he shoves his tongue into you. you have to stretch forward to lay the flat of your tongue on his shaft and lick him from base to tip. but that makes him falter for a second, groaning through his teeth. that momentary relief helps you get your bearings such that you manage to get your mouth around him.

then you're both trying to outdo each other. you try your hardest to maintain concentration and blow soap like a fucking champ, barely a brain cell left in your head; soap eats you out aggressively, shifting under you to make you slow down. you're gonna make him cum but he doesn't wanna be finished yet. he's not done with you. you feel his hands running down your body, looking for something, somewhere he can grab you and pull you back into his control, but it's no good. he can't stop his hips from bucking either.

you think you've almost finished him off when suddenly his hand finds your hair and his fingers tangle there, tugging your head back for a moment, forcing your back to arch. his cock slips out of your mouth and you gasp when his tongue rubs hard--mean--against your g-spot. you writhe on his mouth, but he lays his forearm across your lower back and keeps you right fucking there. he bullies your g-spot relentlessly, his fingers tight in your hair, the pressure on your scalp feeling so good. you see stars and peak again with a cry. your hips move uncontrollably, grinding down on his face, encouraging his bad behavior in a way you are absolutely helpless to stop.

he chuckles as you come down. you're so blitzed you have to lay your forehead on his thigh and remember how to breathe.

"thought you didn't have another one in ya," soap says, smug as shit.

you huff and grab his cock in your hand again, enveloping it in your warm mouth. his stupid chuckle cuts off with a breathless groan.

this time he can't stop his hips from rutting up into your mouth, and he finishes there. finally.

finally after that he shuts up. he stares at the ceiling, dazed, hands finally still and resting on your ass as you snooze right where you lay--on top of him.

...

more Soap / masterlist tag

[leah-lover]

Reward. Mary earps x reader.

Smut 18+

Mary being an ass girl.

After training your day was very chill. You would usually divide the house shutters between you and those girlfriend Mary in order to get them done quicker.

This day though has been even more quiet than usual. You finished your pigeon of the work way before Mary did, so you decided to lay on the couch and wait for Mary tho be done. Little food you know that that decision will change your entire day.

Mary was upstairs doing laundry, when her phone beeped and the lock screen opened. You usually don't pay attention to Mary's phone believing that in a relationship people deserve privacy.However, what you saw shocked you.

You knew that the goalkeeper had a thing for your ass. She would touch, slap, tease, and squeeze it whenever she could. She didn't mind that you were in public or with your friends and family. Putting her hands on your ass felt like an impulse she couldn't control. You often used this weakness over hers to your advantage. You would coarse her to change her mind or do something that you wanted just by offering her full control of your ass. In sex she lived fucking you from behind offer just ticking your ass whenever you wanted to be closer to her and when you make her nad she punishes you by spawning you until your ass was red.

So your girlfriend's lock screen wasn't as much of a shock than a surprise that caught you off guard. Mary had put a picture she took off your backside on the beach when you were on vacation in her lock screen. Your ass was zoomed in and out took the entire screen.

This gesture surprisingly made you happy so you decided to reward your girlfriend for it.

So you left the couch and went straight to the bedroom closet. You put on a pair of sexy red lingerie, just like your girlfriend liked. These lingerie were a bit special because your ass was completely bare. You then did your hair and makeup pretty quickly and situated yourself on the bed.

It didn't take long after you finished for Mary to be done too. She expected you to be on the couch as usual and when she didn't find you she started talking for you.

“Baby where are you?”she asked

“Upstairs in the bedroom, love .”you responded.

Upon getting in the room her jaw was on the floor.

“What did I do to deserve this?.”she asked.

“Well baby I was your lock screen and I thought I would reward you for it. Tonight you can do whatever you want with me.” you said seductively.

Mary didn't waste any time. She quickly took off her shirt and got on top of you. She kissed you roughly, like your lips were gonna disappear.

“ You are so fucking beautiful.” She whispers in between kisses. She then moved on to your neck marking it so that everyone knew it was hers. She sucked your purse point harshly while moaning your name. You were already crazy for this girl but her actions make you go crazier. After she was done with your neck leaving enough bruises on it she took your bra off.

“You are so fucking sexy baby “she whispers again her voice full of lust.

“fuck Mary.”you moan as soon as she had your nipples in between her teeth. She gave each breast a large amount of bruising which only resolved in you being a moaning mess and the juices between your legs to drip down to the sheets.

“Baby please, I need to feel you inside me.” You moan out loud.

“ I want to you too come while I am fucking your beautiful juicy ass.”she ordered.

She then got up and went to your toy drawer and picked out the biggest strap you had. You only took that strap once and you remembered it being a rough challenge.

“Mary, I don't think I can take this.” You say hesitantly

“ Of course you can, baby.” she doubled down, fixing the strap to her core.

She then flipped you s on that your ass was in the air. She then situated herself behind you and slid the tip in. You whined and squirmed at the size of it but mary didn't flinch. She slowly pushed the whole strap in.

“That my good girl who takes what I give her “she praised you. She quickly loosened you up, thrusting faster and stronger.

“ I don't think I can take it “ you moan.

“yes you can baby you can take it “she cooed her hand on your back soothing you.

You knew Mary had pace but today she reconfirmed it to you. She thrusted harder and stronger in you by the second. She would occasionally squeeze your ass giving it a few slaps.

“I want you to touch yourself slowly “she ordered. You obliged to the order and you started touching your puffy needy clit while moaning Mary's name.

“ Move faster baby I am gonna come and I want us to do it together “ she said.

It only took a few minutes before you both came at the same time.

“ do you want me come in your ass baby “ she said a few moment before her release.

“ Yes baby, please come in my ass please.” You pleaded before yours.

After you both came down she gave you as a few kisses before she asked

“Who does this ass belong to ?”

“To you. my ass belongs to you “ you confirm while panting from your orgasm.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various Creepypastas x Reader who sleeps in weird spaces

3/5 of the prizes for @reivelmin !!

Post contains: Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Hoodie, Masky, Ticci Toby, Liu, and Bloody Painter!

I actually dont think I've written for Helen before?? I know I havent written for Liu yet so heres to hoping my takes and hcs are accurate!

EYELESS JACK

When he first catches you in the closet sleeping nearly standing straight up he nearly yelps. You made the stoic eyeless Jack, the man who rarely flinches or jumps at anything, jolt. Naturally he wakes you up and asks why you're in there, but no answer really satisfies him. He tries to drag you to bed and for the night everything is.. normal. But this will be far from the last time he finds you sleeping in an odd place, seemingly unbothered. He eventually asks if theres something going on with you, even dumbly asking if theres something wrong with the bed.. but alas, nothing. You just.. sleep like that.. he often drags you into bed so you dont get sore or fall over

LAUGHING JACK

He thinks you're pranking him, and of course he starts cracking up. He commends you for getting him good, only for his laughter to die down when he realizes that you are in fact asleep while curled in a cabinet. For a moment he thinks you.. died.. or worse was murdered and stuffed into the odd place. He nearly rips you out of the space before you finally crack an eye open. Please dont scare him like that again, he does not take abandonment well even if the scenario is someone possibly dying. Once the shock is over with and he grows more used to it, the humor he originally found in it returns.. it almost turns into a game of where hes going to find you next and what position you're going to be in.. he does not bother to take you to bed and if theres room hes going to squeeze in with you wherever you are

MASKY

Hes probably done that at least once, he sometimes watches you in your sleep on the occasion that you actually fall asleep in a normal place (bed, couch, ect) and he kind of slumps into the corner he was sulking in. Though you... certainly one up him when he catches you sleeping on top of the fridge! If you're in a hard to reach place or really deep into it he leaves you be without attempting to get you out. Eventually he kind of just accepts that this is something you do and completely leaves you alone unless you're in the way of something. More likely to wake you up than moving you out of the way, though... you've probably gotten jumpscared by him simply standing there waiting for you to wake up

HOODIE

Very similar to Masky but I do think Hoodie would take you to bed so you dont get sick (floors are cold, people!) Or getting a knot somewhere in your muscles. Partly because he will likely be too busy with his work to tend to you, partly also because he can be stern when it comes to your health. Theres no ifs ands or buts, hes taking you to bed and hes going to keep you there! Hes a big dude too, he'll hold you in place next to him if he has to

TICCI TOBY

He gets it, honestly. If it's like a security or a comfort thing or just out of impulse he gets it. You might find him sleeping in ungodly positions when he crashes at your place, or sleeping under the bed. He has used a chair as a blanket before. He might feel inclined to try to one up you, actually. All fun and games of course! He also does not carry you to bed, and similar to LJ he might just join you if theres room! Just be warned when sleeping around him he might draw on your face or something.. definitely takes your phone so he can take pictures of you to make fun of you later

LIU

For a minute he doesnt realize exactly what's going on. He might actually pick your stuffed animal up and give it back to you and shut the door of the closet before ripping it open as he stares at you. Gently shakes your shoulder to wake you up, and while he might have to get a little harsh to actually get you awake hes apologizing for waking you up. So so so many questions. Why are you doing that? Why dont you come to bed? Will not take no for an answer. He wants answers, if there are any. After you offer an explanation hes a lot more understanding about it although still very.. confused. Are you not worried about falling over in your sleep? Or even just waking up uncomfortable...? That aside how do you even.. sleep standing up like that, and how long were you like that..? He just.. accepts it

BLOODY PAINTER

Very neutral about it, but he does entertain you with questions when he catches you awake in the morning. It doesnt matter where you sleep, hes not going to disturb you unless you get in his way. But considering hes claimed a corner in your home for himself and his belongings, you don't have to worry about that! Despite claiming to not mind all that much you still seem to wake up in bed despite falling asleep under it. He'll never admit to moving you, but theres no other person who could have done it.. he also wont ever say it but he does sometimes want you to lay next to him

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Free Ride [2]

Jake Lockley x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals •Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | requestinfo• MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist• ko-fi •

Part 1 Here • Free Ride Masterlist •

Summary: You recognised Steven and Jake had no choice but to play along, and give in to some impulses of his own.

🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜

A/N: I have not checked this over very well at all, I am so sorry.

Warnings: Jake being mistaken for Steven, dubious consent because reader thinks he's Steven, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, p in v sex, dirty talk, lube, mentions of a vibrator, Jake has a big dick, over use of italics, typos, not beta read, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 2841

Jake pushes you back into your flat, his lips on yours, licking into your mouth hungrily. 

You stumble a little, but his strong hands keep you stable, pull you closer against him. He trails down to your jaw, your neck, nipping lightly at your skin before sucking hard on your pulse point. 

A shiver runs up your spine, crawls at your throat. You gasp and clutch into him. “Steven, I-”

Jake growls softly, moving quickly and kissing you mercilessly. He nips lightly at your lip, not enough to cause damage but the sudden sensation makes you jump slightly and he smiles. 

You pull back, just enough to see the expression. In that moment it’s so unlike Steven, not his usual beaming grin. His eyes don’t crinkle the same way, his-

Before another thought can form his lips are on yours again as he walks you backwards towards your bedroom, tugging your pyjama top over your head. He pauses once, barely moving his mouth from yours to sweetly ask your permission before continuing. Waiting with soft eyes for your clear confirmation and then kissing you breathless once more. 

His fingers dig into your skin, squeezing every part he can reach. 

As the back of your legs hit the edge of your bed he dips his head down, rolling the flat of his tongue against your left nipple. You bite your lip, trying to keep some semblance of control over yourself but can’t stop the small moan that escapes and fills the air.

Jake groans, latching onto your breast and sucking. Your fingers tangle in his hair, breathing rapidly as he flicks his tongue over the quickly hardening nub. 

You arch into him, your hips bucking of their own accord as he pushes his knee between your legs as he moves to your other breast. 

You whine, letting his warm hands roam your body and press firmly into your back, keeping you balanced as you lean into him. 

He slides his left hand up, cradling the back of your head and then carefully urges you onto your back onto the mattress. 

Should you stop him? You bite your lip. This was going head spinnngly fast. Sure you’d had a not so secret crush on him for ages, but-

He leans over you, pressing his body flush to yours and kisses you senseless, his tongue slipping into your mouth and drinking down every sound that slips past your lips. 

The hard outline of his cock presses into your core through the stiff material of his jeans and any doubt just blinks out of your mind as the spark of pleasure runs up your spine. 

He growls, low and soft in his throat as you move against him, pressing yourself more fully against the bulge in his trousers. 

“Steven,” you moan.

He pulls back instantly, his lips pink and kiss swollen. For a second you think you’ve done something wrong, made the wrong move, but he stands back up quickly. Hooks his fingers under your waist band and drags it down, leaving you completely bare.  You yelp a little at the speed of his movements, the dark look in his eyes makes your stomach drop and fill with anticipation. 

Jake grabs your hips, his warm fingers digging in, just boarding on the possibility of being too hard, and flips you over with a surprising sudden show of strength. 

You let out a small cry of surprise, barely having a moment to react as Jake raises you up by your hips so that you’re on your knees, face down, ass up. 

Heat burns into your skin as he pushes your thighs apart, his thumbs on either side of your entrance and spreading your lips wide. 

The sound of his groan of appreciation alleviates any self consciousness you could feel. Jake palms his cock roughly, squeezing the thick outline with one hand to get a hold of himself before he dives in. 

He swipes his tongue through your folds, groaning again in appreciation as he laps at you. 

The moan that leaves you is sinful. It would make another wave of embarrassment roll through your stomach if you weren’t already too far gone to care. You press your face into the covers, screwing them up in your fists as Jake licks annoyingly slowly, flicking his tongue against your clit before pulling up and just dipping into your entrance. Teasing with the very tip before starting the whole process all over again.

You squirm under his actions, simultaneously trying to escape and push closer to the pleasure of his mouth. He grabs hold of your hip with one firm hand, pulling you firmly against him. 

“Hush bebé,” he mutters against you, barely moving far enough for his words to be heard. “Let me take care of you.” 

You moan again and bury your head into your mattress, drooling on the duvet. 

Pleasure boils along your skin, spiking down from your lower stomach with every warm swipe of his tongue. He groans at the taste of you, the small buzz of sound reverberating through you and vibrating against your already swollen clit. 

A choked, “please,” escapes your lips and Jake chuckles. 

“Begging already?” 

You moan and nod. Your eyes screwed up tight, your hips rocking back and forth in time with him. 

It had been a while since you’d been with anyone, and even longer since that you’d been with someone who seemed so eager to devour every part of you. 

Jake pulls back for a second, biting lightly at the back of your upper thigh, before he sinks two thick fingers into your heat. 

You gasp, whining at the sudden but welcome intrusion. Your legs shake at the stretch, your mind going blank for a second. 

“Fuuuccck.” Jake hisses under his breath, mesmerised as he presses in to the second knuckle before pulling back again, marvelling at your slick in the light. “So tight bebé, hmm?” He groans as he pushes back in, revelling in how your walls clench around him, seem to suck him deeper despite the stretch. “Don’t think I’ll fit in here…” he gasps as he slowly eases out and back in, the ache in his cock maddening. “So tight… When’s the last time you got fucked by anything other than your fingers?” 

A choked sob leaves your lips, your orgasm burning along every nerve ready to explode at any second. “Please,” you moan, “I’m, you’re gonna make me…”

Jake hisses in another breath, unable to resist the urge to push his fingers as deep as they can go and stroke your walls languidly, searching for the spot to make you see stars. His thumb presses against your clit, barely moving except for a steady alternating of pressure. 

You cry out, your back arching, the pleasure so close you can taste it. 

“That’s it,” Jake mutters, “oh, there?” He presses deeply, his strokes sure and firm and oh so slow. “That’s where it’s good?” He whispers, his breath skittering across your skin.

“Please!”

He bites back a groan, his eyebrows pinched together as you squeeze his fingers. “Gonna come? Gonna come just from me tasting you and touching you? And-”

You cry out as your orgasm crests and pulls you down under the wave, washing over every nerve, curling your toes and leaving you boneless. 

Jake moans with you, leaning closer as he continues the torturous pace of his fingers and squeezes his cock through his jeans with his other hand, just about managing not to cum in his boxers. 

You shudder, shiver as you come down and back to yourself. Jake slowly eases his fingers out of you, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth now that it’s over, not that-

Suddenly you turn, smiling at him and raising up onto your knees to wrap your arms around his neck. You kiss him softly, sweetly, pressing your chest up against him. 

He stiffens for a moment, the action unexpected before he returns the kiss. 

He swallows as you pull back for a second, “we don’t have to d-” tumbles out of his mouth at the exact same moment as you say, “do you want to…?” You pause, giving him a slightly bashful smile. For some reason the fact that you’re naked while he’s fully clothed makes a little thread of anxiety tighten in your chest. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you say in a bit of a rush, “if you want, I could just-”

He silences you with an urgent kiss, already, tugging at the helm of his shirt. “Please, let me fuck you.” 

You shiver at his desperate growl, nodding rapidly as you unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. 

Jake pulls his shirt over his head as you push his trousers down his thighs. 

“Fuck,” you breathe. 

“What?” 

You bite your lip and shake your head as you laugh. “You weren’t joking.”

He raises an eyebrow in question. 

“I don’t know if you’ll fit.” 

Jake laughs and presses his lips to yours, “only one way to find out.”

You giggle as he litters your neck and chest with kisses, slowly easing you back down onto the bed before he stands again. 

You lean up on your elbows and he tuts, swatting playfully at your arms as he kicks off his jeans and boxers completely. He grabs two pillows, tucking one carefully under your head and the other under your hips. You raise up as best you can to help. 

As he bends down to grab his jeans from the floor you can’t help but admire how he moves, the soft skin of his back and the ripple of muscle underneath. 

He pulls his wallet from his jeans.

“You got lube?” The offhandedness of the question catches you off guard for a second and you flounder before you can answer.

“Erm, yeah, in the drawer.” 

He nods, taking something from his wallet before tossing it back to the floor. He puts the edge of the wrapper between his teeth and pulls with his right hand as he walks around and opens your bedside drawer. 

Which is the exact second your brain decides to remind you what else is in the drawer along with the lube. 

“Wait-”

Too late. He’s already opened it and obviously seen it. 

Jake smiles as he looks up at you, practically a smirk and takes the wrapper out of his mouth. He holds up your vibrator. “Worried about me seeing this?” 

You cover your face with your hands and laugh as you nod. 

He grins. “Don’t worry, it’s size isn’t intimidating.” He looks it over for a second, “no wonder.” 

“No wonder?” 

“It’s barely thicker than one of my fingers, let alone two.” 

You grab the pillow from under your head and pretend to throw it at him. 

He laughs loudly, beaming at you as he places it back in your drawer. “Besides, I knew you had one anyway.”

You frown.

“The sound.”

“Huh?”

He points upwards. “Walls are pretty thin. Or ceilings, I guess.”

Embarrassment rushes along your bones, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he takes out the half full bottle of lube. For a second he scans the label before he walks back in front of you and kneels between your legs, hooking the back of your left knee over his shoulder. 

“What are you-”

“Getting you ready.” He mutters as he gazes at your pussy. There’s a crinkle of foil as he puts the wrapper next to him and then a pop as he opens the lube bottle. 

Jake warms the lube on his fingers for a second before he pushes three inside and flicks his tongue over your clit. 

You suck in a breath, arching up towards him and screwing up your eyes as he continues his tortuous pace from before. 

It’s a maddening tease. Slow and steady as he works you open and presses against your sweet spot before backing off again. Hitching you higher and higher.

He hums as you shake and buck against his touch, groans as you run your fingers through his hair. 

“Please,” you moan. 

“Hmm?” Jake barely moves away from you, too preoccupied in the feel of your skin against his. 

“Please,” you swallow, your words spilling out in a lust filled haze, “please fuck me, please, Steven, I-”

He moves away from you quickly, and you whine, already lamenting the loss and trying to chase his fingers. 

Jake grabs the condom wrapper and tears it open as he stands, hisses as he rolls it over his aching cock. A dark twist of emotion knots itself in his stomach, twists around his intestines and lungs, but he forces it down, down as he pushes your right thigh wide, the action boarding on painful, before quickly lining himself up with your entrance and pushing in. 

You almost don’t recognise the sound that leaves your lips as your own, the gasp from deep in your chest as his hips snap against yours filling you completely. You can’t remember a time when you’ve felt so full before, when you’ve been so stretched and spread. 

The sensation almost borders on pain, the thick weight of his cock straining you to your limit. But the thick tip of him brushes so wonderfully inside, his pubic bone rubs against your clit and all you can do is drown in the pleasure as he eases his hip back and forth a few times in long, languid strokes before he starts to fuck you in earnest. 

He pounds into you, rocking you back onto the bed with every thrust and banging your headboard against the wall with enough force to chip the paint. 

You whine low in your throat, barely able to get enough oxygen into your lungs as he pushes you higher and higher, forcing pleasure into your veins as though he was made to please you. 

You grab hold of his arms, his neck, anything you can get a hold of and pull his mouth to yours, sliding your tongue past his lips and moaning as he rolls his hips, forcing all his energy on hitting that perfect spot just right.

Your high pitched gasps leave you with every thrust, your thighs tense and shake as you strive to meet him. That deep ball of pleasure tightening and tightening. 

He groans low, kissing you for all his worth to stop the words that want to spill out from his tongue. 

Jake knows he’s not going to last, not with the way you’re whining and begging and kissing him so desperately. Not with the way you squeeze him and urge him deeper, practically beseeching him to take and take and take and-

You pull your mouth back from his, your hands on his shoulder and in his hair. “S-” you stop yourself from saying his name, from causing that little flutter of a frown to cross his face, “sweetheart, please,” the moan that leaves you is practically pornagraphic as Jake’s hips stunner, his mouth opening in a little blushed gasp as you call him ‘sweetheart’. 

“Fuck,” he groans low unable to stop the pleasure from barreling through his every cell, from lighting up every nerve. He fucks you through it, trying and failing to keep his eyes open to watch you. But he feels you tense, hears you moan as you come undone beneath him. 

You come harder than you can ever remember, stars exploding behind your eyes as pleasure erases every thought for a blissfully moment. 

He leans against you, burying his face into your neck and holding some of his weight off you with his arm. 

You breathe heavily for a moment, both of your chests rising and falling in time with each other as you stroke his damp hair. Sweat cooling on both of your skin. 

For a moment, you think he might have nodded off. His muscles go slack for a second, but he shudders and tenses again.

You smile and kiss his temple. 

“Wait… what?” His voice is barely a whisper and… now that you hear it… very… Steven like. Which made no sense at all, because, well, it was always Steven, wasn’t it? Maybe you’d been too caught up and misheard, maybe when he was horny he put on a bit of a voice. You’d heard about that, when-

Steven tenses as sensations flow back into his body.

He sits up, or at least tries to, panic gripping his heart. What the fucking fuck fuck fuck has he slept walked into now?

Your arms around him stop him from bolting upright, but he still moves his head a handwidth away. 

“Hey, you alright?” You say soothingly, his actions reminding you of someone jumping awake, “did you fall asleep for a second?” 

Steven looks down at you, eyes wide. You, lovely, lovely you. Who he’d been trying to not so subtly flirt with for the past months. And now he was… oh… his softening cock twitches in your heat… very much closer than he’d realised.

____________________________________________

Thank you for reading!

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[spideyhexx]

OK IVE HAD THIS THOUGHT ABOUT BILLY FOR A WHILE BUT I FEEL LIKE NOWS THE PERFECT TIME TO TELL YOU

Have you ever heard of what taking and wearing a cowboy’s hat means? It means you’ll ride him

listen I’m just saying that has such good opportunities

xoxo- 🦢

yes ive seen lots of great fics with this so let me add onto that never ending list lmao

mdni - fem!reader

thinking about this that I wrote where you steal his hat, but what would happen if you put it on when you stole it? I love this dynamic, your relationship with Billy being a rather playful and tumultuous one. From your side more than his. For Billy, he was constantly biting his tongue to keep from telling you off whenever you teased him. He can’t admit that he likes it, so he just gives you one of his forlorn stares and maybe makes a snide comment here and there. He tolerated you. That was all. You on the other hand may be completely in love with him, but that wasn't important at the moment.

And you grab his hat from his head in front of the rest of the gang and plop it right onto yours.

Billy’s eyes darken in anger towards you at first but then he realizes what you’ve done and the snickers from the other men. You don’t seem to notice, your gaze only on Billy as you back away. To some, it would look like you two are already lovers and you just openly, silently, relayed to your lover that you wanted him.

Billy would rush over to you before you could react, grabbing your forearm and tugging you away. His hold is tight but not enough to hurt you and you can't help but giggle as your eyes narrow at him.

"What's gotten into you, Bonney? Finally wanna play back?" You catch the slight shake of his head and he halts, his grip on you still there.

"Do you know what you've just done?" You tilt your head to the side, his hat too big on your head, but staying put.

"I stole your hat, Bonney and I have to say, the face you made was quite-"

"Not the...stealin' part...," Billy trails off, his jaw clenching and he searches your eyes as your brow furrows. He realizes you're actually confused as to what he's getting at and he clears his throat, "You never heard the guys joke 'bout...?" Billy's anger softens for a moment as his shoulders lose their tension. He can't believe you of all people don't know about this. He thinks you must be playing some kind of joke on him like you always are.

You shake your head, "'m tremblin' with anticipation, Bonney. Tell me."

He narrows his eyes. "If you're wearin' a cowboy's hat you...or put his hat on you...you ride him," he says, a bout of embarrassment starting to flush to his cheeks, but he forgets all about that when he sees how wide your eyes get.

"O-Oh. I see," your voice drops to a softer tone, above a whisper. This tough, playful, insufferable woman that Billy's always seen you as is getting flustered under his gaze and now he really thinks he must be dreaming. You can't believe you've never heard about this before, but now realize your impulses have caused you to not only put Billy's hat on but do so in front of all of the gang; yeah it hits you hard.

"Well, 's a joke, right? So...," and you try to wrench your arm from his grasp, but he holds on.

A little chuckle escapes his lips and he smiles, "You're flustered."

Rolling your eyes, you give him a pout, but it's apparent from your still wide eyes and the way you can't look him straight in the eyes like you always did that you were in fact flustered. "No, 'm not."

Billy chuckles again and lets go of your arm, "Yes you are. The little cowgirl's actually flustered for once. Are you thinkin' about it?"

The heat in your body increases from his words and you go to take his hat off your head, throwing it at him. You can't deny the all too familiar feeling of heat pooling in your core as you think about that act with him. How you've thought of that very fantasy before, especially the days you'd catch Billy sitting with his legs a little too spread. Billy catches his hat, but he also catches the way you shift on your feet, your jaw tensing and the slight squeeze of your thighs. Billy almost curses out loud at the filthy thought that comes to mind and the twitch of his cock in his pants, but he ignores it, "don't gotta ride me," he snorts. He's trying to be reassuring, but he's not gonna let you know that.

"Wasn't plannin' on it," and you take the chance to lock your eyes back with him, an attempt to regain your composure and turn the teasing back on him, but your head is swimming in desire right now.

"I know, but it sure got you heated, hm?" He bumps his shoulder into yours as he walks past you, starting to head back to the camp. Billy's already forgotten about the gang and how they'll tease him about this later. All he can think about is how he's finally found an upper hand with you.

"Yeah? Well, I think you'd love for me to ride you," you call out to him in a sudden impulse move (a common habit for you, it's been established).

Billy turns back, raising his brow. He hesitates for a moment, wondering just how far he wants to go with this but he decides, fuck it. He walks back up to you, sauntering as he rests his hands on his gun belt, his head is cocked to the side and the smirk on his lips is one you wish you saw all the time. "Don't think you'd be able to handle it, sweetheart."

"What makes you say that?"

You cross your arms over your chest and he smiles, looking to the side out at the setting sun before back to you, "Cause even the thought of ridin' my dick is gettin' you all squirmy. How would it be if you were actually on it, hm?" He raises his brow, waiting for you to respond, but you don't. You stare at him wide-eyed, mouth parting, then closing.

"That's what I thought," and he gives you a look, raking his eyes quickly over your body before turning and walking away.

let's chat about billy, here :)

[zapshazam]

idk something really rubs me wrong about the way fandom treats Astarion's reactions to the Halsin poly romance and ESPECIALLY the Drow twins stuff. like yes. i get the kneejerk reaction to feel really uncomfortable once you get the line from the narrator about Astarion disassociating during sex with the twins - it's not fun to deal with! you want him to have enthusiastic fun the whole time and your character at that point is definitely in love with him and he's reciprocating, so i get it.

but..... like.... he's an adult man who is coming to terms with how he views himself his sexuality and his desires. he DOES enthusiastically want to try having a big fun sex party once you've completed his personal quest. healing from trauma, certainly SEXUAL TRAUMA, isn't a one-and-done thing. just because he's ready to initiate sex with you at his grave doesn't mean he's going to be 100% comfortable all the time forever going forward.

it happens sometimes. even at your best and most thriving-est sometimes something happens that triggers you and if that's your defense mechanism? boom, you're far away, you're going through the motions. he isn't having a ton of fun but again, he didn't know going in, it's an experiment.

but like. reloading as soon as you see that line about him disassociating because it makes you feel icky (which again, fair, I get the impulse) is kinda. idk. babying? like he's SO enthusiastic about doing it when asked. it doesn't end the best. for me that just means he and Tav/Durge have a conversation afterwards where he comes to a realization that yes, he's into the IDEA, but probably only with people he trusts and knows aren't only banging him because of how hot he is. all the dialogue during that scene, as sexy as it is, is EXTREMELY objectifying toward Astarion. it fits his story that it would make him uncomfortable once it becomes clear that that's The Vibe! let him come to that conclusion, he's a big boy! you don't have to treat him like he's made of glass - he's a survivor and he's his own person who gets to make these decisions and deal with the consequences. with a partner who loves him and can help him through it! that's that real good shit imo, that's the shit that makes this game's relationships and character moments feel so real even when they have to veer into headcanon territory.

[blackbleedingrose]

Long Lost Morningstar - Part Four

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing(s): Seven Virtues' x reader (platonic), Charlie x reader (platonic), Lucifer x reader (platonic), Lilith x reader (platonic)

Genre: Angst/Betrayal

Warning(s): Cursing, lies, betrayal

Notes: FINALLY! I'm sorry this took me forever to post. I was, and still am, dealing with some school stuff. Truthfully it was a little rough trying to get this one out - along with school and work, I am losing motivation to write this. It could be that I burnt myself on Hazbin after reading so many fanfics for days on end until I eventually got tired. I'm still going to be writing this either way, I'd feel bad to suddenly stop out of nowhere. Funny thing is I'll probably feel motivated again once the second season airs. Oh, well. I'll post part five when I can and am able, so please bare with me and hopefully enjoy this long part for the time being. Thank you for your support - I'm really writing this for the ones reading this series and am grateful for your patience.

Words: 3,298

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?".

After learning about the exterminations (Y/N) wasted no time flying to the archangels' castle - her home.

She needed to know if they knew about the exterminations, and if so. . .

No, there's no way.

The Virtues' duty were to help remain peace and order - there's no way they'd be okay with the murdering of sinners.

Still, the fear and pain she felt for Charlie and Sera's betrayal made her impulsive.

So much so, that she flew past the archangels' secretary and burst through the doors of the meeting room where they were discussing important matters.

The archangel's were shocked to see (Y/N), who had just interrupted their meeting, looking completely disheveled and breathing heavily.

This behavior would normally be unacceptable, and if it were any other seraphim or angel they would be scolded and punished depending on severity of the offense.

But this was their little (Y/N), whose never interrupted their meetings without reason (or when she was a curious infant who somehow wandered in).

Michael stood up from his seat and flew over to his distressed daughter, "(Y/n). What's the matter?".

(Y/n) struggled to catch her breath, her mind and heart racing.

Michael placed his hands on her shoulders, "Deep breathes, sweetheart. Try to calm down". He gently cooed at her trying to help her find her breath and calm her nerves.

When (Y/N) had finally caught her breath she looked up at her father staring right into his eyes, "Did you know?".

Michael furrowed his brows confused, "Know what, sweetheart?".

(Y/N) took a deep breath before looking at him with sorrowful eyes, "About the exterminations."

Michael and the other archangels' were even more confused than before, "What exterminations?".

"The exterminations of the human souls in Hell."

The archangels' eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Michael looked down at his daughter with slight sternness, "What do you mean?".

(Y/N) went on to tell them all about what had happened at the trial from Charlie's hotel, Angel Dust, Sera's betrayal, to Adam's threat towards her cousin.

To say the archangels' were pissed would be a gross understatement.

How dare Sera and Adam play God and order such an atrocity right under their noses - and for it to be going on this long!

They were embarrassed to have been so ignorant.

Michael felt very uneasy about (Y/N)'s interaction with the Princess of Hell.

Yes, he had been aware his brother had birthed a child in Hell and hadn't seen an issue of (Y/n) of knowing as he was confident the two would never meet.

Well, that back fired horribly.

He couldn't discuss that with (Y/N) right now because, other than letting curiosity get the better of her once again, she hadn't done anything wrong.

She was clearly out of sorts with worry. She didn't need anything else but reassurance and comfort.

"Thank you for telling us. Don't worry, we'll be sure to handle this," Michael said trying to comfort his daughter.

"B-But, Charlie," (Y/N)'s breathing spiked, "A-Adam threatened t-to, to!". Tears flowed down to her red cheeks, her eyes red and puffy.

Michael gently shushed her wiping her tears, "Calm down, sweetie. We'll handle everything, especially Adam. Just go to your room and try to relax. I'll tell the staff to get you some tea."

(Y/N) shook her head, "B-But I need to help Charlie. I-I need to do something -,"

"No." Michael's tone was stern but gentle. "This is for the higher ranking angels to handle and you're too emotional right now to think clearly. Let us take care of this."

"Listen to your father, (N/N)." Azrael said his grin more menacing than usual. "And don't fret over Adam, we'll make sure to deal with him personally."

The other archangels' agreed without question. Adam wouldn't get away with making their precious niece cry.

(Y/N) realized her father was right, she was too emotional right now.

She was in no condition to deal with this as she was.

After saying goodbye to her family, (Y/N) went to her room to try and calm down.

Feeling completely exhausted and emotionally drained, (Y/N) passed out the second her head hit her pillow.

The next day (Y/N) woke up later than usual and saw a note on her beside table.

It was from her father telling her not to worry about her duties that day and to just rest.

(Y/N) was grateful to her father, but she was so restless about the trial and the upcoming extermination.

She got ready for the day and went down into the courts archives.

Maybe there was something she could use in the courts records to help Charlie.

Since she was a stenographer, a seraphim, and Michael's daughter no one questioned her being there.

In fact, many of the simps angels there were more than happy to help her.

(Y/N) declined most of their help, not wanting to garner unnecessary attention to what she was looking for or why.

She continued doing this for days making sure to cover her tracks so her father and uncles didn't catch wind of her little excursions.

Which was why most of them were in the dead of night.

She hadn't heard a word of what her father or uncles' were going to do about the exterminations.

But the times she's seen Adam and Lute, the two were still their cocky and douchey selves.

So, she knew the extermination was still on.

Why?

Why haven't the archangels' done anything yet?

What were they waiting for?

A small part of her wondered if they ended up agreeing with Sera and Adam and wanted to keep the exterminations on, but she quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

The archangels' duty was to follow the laws of Heaven, and the exterminations clearly went against that.

There's no way they'd be okay with keeping it going.

Still. . . they weren't working fast enough.

The month was almost over.

So, she continued researching wanting to find anything that would prove Sera and Adam wrong about Hell and prove Charlie's hotel worked or could work.

One night while everyone had turned in, (Y/N) snuck into the ancient archives - court records that dated over billions of years ago.

Maybe there was something in the older court records she could use.

She spent hours going through file after file, pulling out possible references to use, and making piles based on the dates.

The long hours started to get to her, the bags under her eyes more prominent with each passing minute.

Without realizing, her eyes lids shut and she slowly drifted to the side accidently knocking over a large pile she hadn't checked yet.

*THUD*

The sound of the falling files scared her awake.

"Oh shit!"

(Y/N) rubbed her eyes awake before going over to the scattered files. She really hoped no one had heard that thud.

As she was gathering all of the loose documents, there was one file folder that caught her eye. Labeled on the tab was 'Morningstar vs Heaven'.

Morningstar? That was Charlie's last name but this file was in one of the older court piles meaning this file was about -

"Lucifer. . .".

She's never read her uncle's trial record before. . . but if he was anything like Charlie then maybe there was something in those documents that could help her prove her cousin's dreams and beliefs.

After all, it was because of Lucifer's desire and dreams to show humanity free will that gifted humans the ability to dream and choose to be better.

She knew her father would frown at her view on Lucifer, but she had always thought there might have been some merit behind her uncle's choices.

She started to collect the documents, sometimes glancing over certain parts that caught her attention. However, as she was going through the files she saw something in one of the documents that she had never expected to see.

"I-Is that. . . my name? W-Why would my name be in Lucifer's court record?". (Y/N) bit her lip deciding if she should look through it or not.

In the end she decided to go through with it and read the document. It was probably nothing, just her mind playing tricks on her. She had been up for hours, after all.

However, the moment her eyes scanned through each line her heart dropped into her stomach.

Sera: Take the child.Court angels: (takes the infant (Y/N) Morningstar from the arms of her parents, Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith)

"P-Parents?".

The rest of the documents recounted Lucifer and Lilith's guilty verdict, their sentencing to Hell, and the courts final proceedings.

(Y/N) wanted to refuse everything she had read, wanting to call it all lies.

But stenographers, especially in Heaven, cannot lie when recording. The magic imbedded within the typewriter wouldn't allow it.

Still, it just couldn't be true. . . Maybe this was another (Y/N), one she's never met. There was no way it was talking about her.

However, before (Y/N) could attempt to convince herself even more she noticed one final document lying on the floor. She recognized what kind of document it was immediately.

It was a Heavenly Ordinance.

She slowly reached for the golden paper and started to read it.

"By Heavenly decree, it is now ordered that all residents, and new ones to come, are forbidden from tempting humanity or breaking Heaven's rules. All residents must obey and turn from all misguided thoughts, dreams, and or endeavors. All violators will receive punishment. It is also ordered that the Heavenborn seraphim, (Y/N) Morningstar, is now under the care of the Seven Virtues; specifically Archangel Michael Demiugros. The infant's name will be changed to (Y/N) Demiugros. The child will have no connection to Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith, and will be told Michael Demiugros is her father/parent who crafted her from stardust. All Heavenly residents aware of the child's true lineage are forbidden from speaking on the matter. All violators will be punished severely."

(Y/N) felt like she couldn't breath.

Her hands were shaking, her heart pounding in her chest.

Oh, God.

She wanted to deny it and believe all of this was some sick prank.

But even she knew no one in Heaven would dare fake writing a Heavenly Ordinance, let alone play such a cruel prank or joke.

Besides, the Heavenly Seal at the bottom of the document was proof of its authenticity.

Heaven would never allow a fake to be placed with the court records.

It took a while for her to calm down.

Looking at the clock mounted on the wall, she saw how late it was.

The court angels who had the early morning shift would be here in two hours.

Wiping the tears that had gathered in her eyes, she used her magic to help clean up her mess and put all of the documents back into their original places - except for one.

When she started to put Lucifer's file away, she stared at the ordinance.

She paused for a moment before folding it up and shoving it into her pocket.

After everything was put away (Y/N) went back to her room with her mind buzzing and heart racing.

She woke up five hours later to the sound of her alarm.

She felt absolutely exhausted.

At first she thought it had all been a dream, a really bad dream.

But when she checked her pockets and pulled out the folded up golden paper, she knew it wasn't.

She was heartbroken.

The feeling of betrayal and hurt plaguing her soul.

Why?

Why did they lie to her?

Why did they do all of this?

Now everything made sense.

Why she was so restricted from practically everything.

Why everyone in her family kept her so close and away from any of the higher seraphim duties.

Why she really looked like Lilith. . .

To top it all off, the person she had believed to be her father this whole time was actually her uncle.

She truly didn't know how to feel, and she wondered if Charlie knew.

Probably not given how shocked the Hellborn had been to hear she had a 'cousin'.

Though, now she knew why she felt such a strong connection to Charlie.

They were sisters.

And if Charlie hadn't known about her, she doubted Lucifer or Lilith did.

She wondered what else Heaven has lied to her about.

. . . Did they even love her?

If she really was the spawn of the ones who damned humanity, did they only keep her for their own benefit?

Have they actually hated her this entire time?

These thoughts brought tears to her eyes.

The rest of the day as she continued on with her duties, she thought back to her family and her newly discovered ones.

Whenever she interacted with her family in Heaven, she did her best to keep up appearances.

There was no way to tell what would happen if they found out what she knew.

So, she decided to bite her tongue.

No matter how much she wanted to scream and cry.

She wondered if they were even going to do anything about the exterminations.

She was starting to doubt it since she hadn't heard anything new; though, would they even tell her?

And Adam and Lute were as smug as ever.

That made her angelic blood boil.

Did they really hate Lucifer, Charlie, her, and sinners so much that they would allow this atrocity to continue?

Even though it went against everything Heaven stood for?!

No.

(Y/N) wouldn't stand for this.

If she was going to help Charlie, she would have to take matters into her own hands.

Luckily, Michael and her other uncles' taught her basic combat.

Hopefully that would at least help her fed off a few exorcists.

The next few days leading up to the extermination, (Y/N) secretly stole some angelic armor and weapons.

She eavesdropped on Adam and Lute trying to find out their plans and the exact time of the extermination.

She even continued to gather information for Charlie to help prove her hotel could work.

She acted as she usually did in front of others to avoid suspicion.

She planned to sneak out the night before the extermination to help Charlie and her hotel prepare for the fight.

She was a little nervous about seeing her newly discovered sister, and possibly her biological father, but she knew she would have to suck it up and wait until after the battle was over.

The morning before the extermination, (Y/N) felt more than prepared - she had everything she needed before tonight.

Everything was going according to plan.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Michael asked the court angel who seemed to be a bit out of sorts.

"W-Well, sir, there seems to be a document missing from one of the court records".

Michael rose a brow, "Okay? Which records?".

"U-Um. . . one of the ancient records, sir."

'Ancient records?'

Michael's brows furrowed - why would a document be missing from one of the oldest records in Heaven? Hardly anyone uses or reads them. They're mainly there as historical records now.

"Strange. . . Which record was it then?"

The court angel gulped, "U-Um. . , i-it-"

Michael glared slightly annoyed, "Just say it!"

"I-It was from Lucifer Morningstar's, s-sir!"

Michael's eyes widened, "Lucifer's?"

"Y-Yes, sir. We noticed some of the court records had been a little out of place the past couple of days, but thought nothing of it as everything was neatly put back. But this morning one of the court angel's found a feather between Lucifer's record, and when they opened it they saw one of the documents inside was missing."

Michael frowned, "Which document?"

". . . The Heavenly Ordinance, sir."

'The Heavenly Ordinance? Why. . . Why would anyone take that?'

"This was the feather that was found inside the court record."

The court angel presented Michael a singular feather. It was beautiful and the design looked very familiar -

Michael's breath hitched as he looked closely at the feather. He snatched the feather out of the court angel's hand looking at it even closer.

'No, no, no - it can't be!'

Without another word Michael flew out of the room leaving very confused and concerned court angels'.

'There's no way! She cannot possibly know!'

Lost in his own frantic thoughts, Michael failed to notice a certain archangel in his path, and proceeded to crash right into him.

"Woah, Michael! What's the rush?" Azrael asked wincing from the impact.

Michael looked at his brother, fear in his eyes, "Azrael. I-It's terrible. . . (Y-Y/N). . . S-She-"

"(Y/N)? Did something happen to her?" Azrael asked worried. He's never been his brother so distressed before.

"S-She. . . She knows."

Azrael furrowed his brows, "'Knows?' Knows, what?"

"About Lucifer. . . the truth about Lucifer and Lilith."

Michael proceeded to tell Azrael the events that happened taken place in the courts archives.

"That's strange," Azrael hummed. "Just as strange as the report I just got that some angelic armor and weapons are missing."

Azrael saw Michael's expression morph into one of absolute horror and waved his hands trying to dismiss his brother's thoughts, "But it could all just be a coincidence!".

Placing his hands onto Michael's shoulders, Azrael looked into his eyes, "Michael. You know (Y/N). As curious as she is, she's not reckless or stupid. She knows her place in Heaven and wouldn't dare ruin that. Have more faith - after all, you are the one who raised her."

Michael calmed his nerves as he listened to his brother's advice. He's right. (Y/N) was raised right and she would never do something that would jeopardize her place in Heaven. Someone else had to have misplaced the document, armor, and weapons.

. . . Still. . .

He couldn't shake off the ugly feeling in his gut.

Hours had passed and it was now late into the night.

To everyone around her (Y/N) was her normal graceful, polite, and dutiful self.

Almost like she hadn't been stressed out the entire month worrying for her cousin, who she recently discovered was actually her sister, and finding out her entire life has been a total lie.

She really played the part of the obedient seraphim quite well.

But right now, she was anything but.

Right now she was the sleep deprived heartbroken, scorned girl who no longer knew who she was or who she could trust here.

But, she was going to find out.

While the rest of the castle was asleep, (Y/N) changed from her night gown into light but durable angelic armor.

She wore her long blonde hair in a high ponytail and carried a long angelic spear on her back (along with a few angelic daggers and a whip on her hips).

Once ready, she quietly unlocked her balcony door trying to make as little noise as possible.

She could feel her nerves shake.

She's never been in a real fight before.

She knew what she was doing was dangerous; and if found out, could lead her into a world of trouble.

Looking back behind her she glanced over her room.

Her eyes landing on a picture frame found sitting on her vanity.

It had a photo of when she was little.

In it she was hugging Michael with her favorite duck plushie in her arms.

They both had such big smiles.

Sadness filled her heart as tears pricked her eyes.

Had it all been a lie?

Well. . . either way, she would find out later.

Charlie needed her right now.

She smiled sadly at the duck plushie laying in her bed silently wishing for luck.

Steeling her nerves, (Y/N) internally prepared herself for the battle ahead.

What she wasn't prepared for was to come face to face with Michael the moment she turned around.

Taglist:

@soobryu @kyo-kyo1 @miyako-night20 @charliecharlie65 @unknow-sama @myluckymoon @lbcreations-blog @moonchaos18 @sirenetheblogger @jagharamira @el-hajj @azharyy @glowymxxn @itsmonicabc @lxkeee @aria-tempest @glowinthedarkbones1150 @sashaphantomhive @0strawberrysorbet0 @serenity-loves-red @snowy-violet @aishallnotbefound

[glassrowboat]

Can You Trust Me Blind? Dottore.

Summary: Dottore brings a woman home for the night.

Warnings: Smut, blood, Dottore

Word count: 2,100+

Hair twirled around his finger, spinning round and round in circles the same way Dottore would take his own bangs as they slipped out of the multitude of clips and pins he tried to use to wrangle them up and out of the way, only for those two strands to inevitably fall in his face again. It was annoying. A hassle dealing with it as he tried to scrawl out notes between the blue stands blocking his vision, but the locks in his hand seemed far easier to tame as he played with them.

Soft, well taken care of, and a complete mess as it sprawled out across the pillowcase. It wouldn't be a surprise if there was a knot or two jumbled up in there.

His fault, of course.

Dottore was the one who slid his hands into her hair, tangled his fingers in it like he was grasping at a knitted scarf being slowly wrapped around someone in the dead of winter as he tugged her head back. The length of her neck exposed without a hint of shame. A perfect canvas. Just like snow after it fell, painting the world anew.

Every footstep tainting the pure landscape that went on for miles.

To taint. To mar. To ruin.

The scent of perfume had overwhelmed his senses at the time, even had Dottore halting for a moment to burry his nose into her collarbone where she had no doubt dabbed it before heading out for the night. Flowery, feminine, with a faint hint of vanilla to it that was quickly masked over by iron.

Red on his teeth, on her neck, on the sheets below as he rocked into her.

A scream filled his ears.

This wasn't like him, taking a woman back home, let alone to his bed. It had to have been over seventy- maybe even eighty- years since Dottore had gone off and done something as stupid as this. Breaking all rules of common sense (something he had once considered to be a good friend of his) and welcoming her in with little to no trepidation even as the door slammed behind her.

She had looked around curiously, eyes going over the place like she was trying to suck in every last detail of the liminal space. He never was one who bothered with decorations, so there wasn't much to recall. Maybe a photo here, a trinket there, or a jar full of something no one truly wanted to question Dottore about. Nothing out of the usual for him. However, it was nice to see someone showing such a good trait, a healthy one in this wretched world, rather than glancing back at the door like they were already having second thoughts.

She wouldn't have even been the first if that were the case.

This woman had spent a good hour by his side before his sudden...impulse. Yes, that was a good way to put it, he thought as the strands of hair fell from Dottore's fingers.

One of Pantalone's parties Dottore had only agreed to go to because the banker had stuck his foot down and demanded that he come and talk to possible sponsors for the lab himself rather than having the Ninth do all the lip service. A shame, truly, seeing as that's what the man was best at. Might as well do what you're good for in this world. That's how Dottore saw it, anyway.

He had stumbled across this one along the way.

Dottore had been grumbling to himself about having to deal with it all, especially after having to explain the current project he was working on in a way that could only be explained at a kindergarten level of intelligence for the third time as this oaf of a man kept asking the same question in different ways (like changing the font would give it meaning anew), when she had made a snide remark as he passed by.

“I'm sure your little friend there is the type to attempt putting a square peg in a round hole.”

And oh, he couldn't have agreed more.

She wasn't a sponsor herself, or hadn't seemed to be one. Actually, she waved off most of Dottore's questions about her with what could only be described as practiced ease, instead choosing to fixate on his earring. Eyes locked on the thing as she tried to figure out what was in it. Making a guessing game of it. Primordial water? Sap from the leylines? Ligma? Gatorade? …Whatever that is.

However, she proved to be preferential company over the people who were better off waving their wallets in the air than even attempting to listen to his grandiose ideas. Not even the jingling of mora in hefty sacks had been able to keep him from sharing a glass of whiskey with her. The sound of ice clinking against glass and her voice proved to be far more entertaining.

Digs at Pantalone's ‘friends’ as the banker liked to call them, making fun of their outfits (mainly on her end), and insulting their intelligence proved her to be a great way to spend the otherwise dull evening.

Decent company.

That's all it was.

That's all it was supposed to be, even as she toyed with his earring like she had any right to. Blue light reflecting off her skin.

Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to stop her.

Somehow, that hour passed by like it was nothing but a handful of seconds.

Somehow, he leaned in and kissed her as she was making another remark. Something about a Lord this or that ‘needing to let go of the fact he's bald, because we can all tell he's wearing a toupee’ when he could taste the drink on her painted lips.

Just like he could still taste her blood.

She had said right after “I don't think that shade is your color” with a laugh as her thumb brushed over his bottom lip. No doubt trying to smudge the lipstick off.

Dottore couldn't even recall his retort, no doubt he gave one, but right now his mind was running the same scene that just happened on his bed on loop rather than bothering to remember his own words. If it was truly important, he'd no doubt recall them later. After this film in his head stopped reeling, or the tape itself broke from overuse.

Thighs wrapped around his waist, squeezing him tight between soft flesh he couldn't help but worry about bruising under his touch that was urging him closer and closer as Dottore filled her to the brim. Her nails dragging along his back. Hisses of both pain and pleasure bubbling in Dottore's throat as he slowly stilled.

Her moans bordered on pornagraphic as this woman apparently had no issue being loud. Much less in his space of all things.

Their kisses as she tugged him closer. Rushed, frenzied, even when he wanted to take a step back, a big breath, and truly savor this moment as her dress slid off and onto the floor.

It all reeled back to when Dottore stood before her with the cravat he usually wore in hand.

Blue fabric hanging in between them as he pinched it softly.

The reason he didn't even get the chance to see her eyes roll back into her head from pleasure alone.

Dottore was the one who slid it off his neck. Untying it the same way he did every night after being enraptured by his research for days on end before coming home and crashing into bed. A practice so well memorized he could do so with his eyes closed. Ironic, being he was the one to ask to blindfold her.

Half of a sentence was spoken before she just stopped to stare at the cloth. Eyes darted from him and back down to it in a repeated cycle until Dottore had asked the question again.

Louder that time.

Clearer.

Leaving no room for doubt.

“Is this something you're willing to do?”

She had stumbled over herself as she got out an “okay” and “yes.”

That had to be the least sure of herself he had seen her all night.

She hadn't moved much as Dottore slid the cloth over her eyes, only reaching her hand up to rest on his arm, fingers playing with one of the leather bands on his arm as he tied it in place. Like it made it easier to take her mind off the fact she was, quite literally, going into this blind as he made sure to double, even triple, check it wouldn't budge. Not easily, at least.

But still, she let him do it.

A neat bow sealing the deal.

The idea to joke she was like a gift quickly passed as her hand fell back down as the sound of Dottore's mask being placed on the nightstand filled the otherwise quiet space. A soft, subtle click. Only their breathing and that. Echoing as if it were pans clanging against each other.

“Is that why you wanted me blin-”

“Yes.”

What she was going to ask was obvious. After all, if he was in her shoes, Dottore very well would have done the same. Asked questions. Pried into matters that don't concern him.

Red eyes had bore down on her, blue cloth covering away the chance of seeing her looking up at him with the possibility of fear crossing her face.

No panicked looks. Not this time.

It was better this way, he learned. Less chance of someone seeing the scars that plague his skin and….this was why he typically preferred doing this with someone he already knew.

Someone who already knew what to expect from him, who wouldn't suck in a sharp breath as Dottore's hand slid along the curve of her waist to reach behind and tug the zipper of that dress down for her. The little tag between bare fingers as she spoke up again.

Good, she wasn't trusting him blindly.

Maybe she was smarter than he thought, but that doesn't say much when she's in his bed.

“You know, people usually go for biting and scratching instead of something like this when hooking up with what's essentially a total stranger.”

“Yet you agreed. Why?”

“I'm already here, am I not? Would be a real shame to blueball the both of us.”

How crude, but he couldn't help but to agree as Dottore pressed a kiss to her lips even while chuckling against her skin.

And another as he slid his tongue over her lips and pushed her down onto the bed. A small grunt came from her as her back hit the mattress. The zipper already tugged down as she tried to shimy the dress off even as the mattress creaked under her with every move. Old springs that needed to be dealt with.

At the time, he had wanted to promise not to hurt her, not in a way she wouldn't enjoy, anyhow, but now she lay beside him clearly passed out. She has been for the past two hours, thirty-four minutes, and forty-three seconds now. Her back to him. Moonlight peeking in through the window, leaving dust participles visible in the otherwise dark space as the beams shone down on her skin. Lighting up the tiniest bits of blood as bright as an apple seeped through the bandage he placed on her neck after she fell asleep.

All the more visible like this.

He couldn't help but trace his fingers over the cotton.

She really just let some stranger, a harbinger, him of all people no less, do that to her. To feel her pulse under his lips and still dare to break skin. To leave her in the dark as his hands wondered.

Either this girl was incredibly stupid or had no self-preservation instincts.

Maybe both.

Dottore couldn't say he would be surprised either way. She sure did seem like the type that could go either way. Laying there like nothing was wrong even as he reached over her and picked up his mask again. Cold in his hands with material a familiar weight before it slid out of his fingers again as he set it back down on the table.

For now, this woman was asleep. For now, he wouldn't have to worry about her reaction to what lay under that mask. The scarred man she chose to tumble into bed with. So, for now, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

The scent of flowers, vanilla, and blood filling his nose.

He didn't understand this woman in many ways. A bit of a flirt, one who thought it far too entertaining to crack jokes, and who seemed all the willing to listen as he rambled on.

She stopped and listened to him.

And all Dottore could ask himself with this information was: what sort of woman was she that she would choose to lay with a monster?

[xavviquz]

♥︎ thirsty for you. - vamp!choso x fem!reader ♥︎ HCS

warnings // !!MDNI!! period sex, p ⇾ v, unprotected, somnophilia, blood mention, pussy eating, fingering, not proofread (though i dont think any of my fics r but that doesnt make it bad 😘)

notes // getting back into my usual with hcs! i absolutely love vampire choso btw i swear im bent over for him but anyhow, i hope you enjoy this as much as i do! this is also a few years late like heian era late wc: 825

synopsis: you havent been the same since you got with him.. and neither has the aching in your body stopped either.

☆ vamp!choso┊ who has you on your knees at the break of dawn just because he desperately wanted your warmth.

your pussy was so wet and warm, he could fall asleep and never pull out for days no matter what. its not like he hasnt done that before anyways.

you were minding your own business, falling asleep after a long day of talking to customers from the village in order to pay off the rent that was due in the next month. you were tired. exhausted to the bone if you will. as you were drifting to sleep, you felt the mattress get slightly heavy in a particular spot that your boyfriend would sleep on. thinking nothing of it, you drifted off to sleep as you felt a pair of hands feeling your body up and down, your waist all the way to your boobs, pinching at the nubs as you batted your eyes.

you rubbed your eyes before you felt something inside of you. too familiar.. damn it. why now and especially when you were sleeping??

☆ vamp!choso┊who doesnt know how to ask to have sex or put you into the mood, so he reacts on impulse.

you glanced behind you with a sleepy look to see your boyfriend with a dumb smirk, digging his face into the crook of your neck. it felt so wrong and so right.. you’ve talked about this before with him but he never seemed to get why he should ask when you’re ‘his property’ he’d say, but in a sense, you were.

his dick was slowly being pushed in and out of your sensitive walls as he nibbled on your shoulder to hide his whines. you felt so warm and so peaceful.. it was hard to resist someone like you.

☆ vamp!choso┊who has a habbit of using his abilities for his lustful desires.

choso can turn invisible, be a bat, and even have unnatural speed. it made you slightly jealous that you didnt have any but its not like you minded or anything except when he would.. tease you.

the other night when making dinner for the both of you, you felt his slender hands reach up into your shirt, cupping your boobs as he licked your neck. once you turned around though, no one was there. “cho’ stop playing around and help me out..”

“i am helping you out.” he appeared behind you once again, one hand leaving your boobs to venture down to your clit, slowly playing with it. he knew damn well what he was doing and he knew he would get his way by doing so. your moans were like music to his ears and he wouldn’t have you any other way.

☆ vamp!choso┊who loves it when you’re on your period.

your boyfriend was there inbetween your legs as your hands lazily covered your mouth to keep the moans slipping inbetween your lips hidden but.. how could you?

choso’s tongue flicked up against the clit of your pussy, going down to your hole and practically sucking you dry.

damn it. you should’ve never said anything about your period. but even then, he would’ve sniffed you out anyways and have you eaten out in the nearest bathroom he could find just for a taste of you.

☆ vamp!choso┊who always bites and nips at your neck no matter how tired you are. his stamina is endless being a vampire.

you’re nearly fucked out of your mind, everything you saw was a complete blur. your back was arched and it was so late in the night.. you had to open up shop early today so why this day specifically did he decide that he wanted to fuck you brainless?

you scratched at the sheets, his length turning your insides into complete mush. you felt choso’s fangs slightly bite into your skin, digging his teeth into your pump skin. warm red blood from your neck pooled into his mouth, licking spots that dripped.

your mind was lightheaded from all the fucking and bloodsucking. your head drooped down and swung low. you could barely even hold yourself up so how were you going to open up shop now?

choso smirked, kissing the back of your ear before whispering in a low tone. “now you dont need to go to that small stand..” he hugged your waist, pushing on your stomach while he did another deep thrust.

you were so exhausted.. too exhausted to think. your eyes kept fluttering, each blink longer than the last, slowly drifting to sleep in the middle of sex with him.

by the time you had woken up, he was asleep right next to you, sleeping while his fangs were in your neck, and his dick deep within you.

a/n: please consider liking, reblogging, or commenting recommendations!

Ⓒ 2024 xavviquz - dont copy, repost, or modify

[qqueenofhades]

I also think leftists view liberals and centrists as worse than right wingers because liberals and centrists maintain the status quo, thus prolonging capitalism. In the case of accelerationists, they think a revolution is only possible if people are desperate enough to want one and so they often align themselves with right wingers who they know will make things worse (see MAGA communism as one example). To them it doesn't matter if the fascists will take power because they believe fascism always fails and communism will naturally follow. All the deaths will be worth it in the end.

I hit ask before I finished. I meant to add in parentheses that all of that is of course an oversimplification, but those are pretty much the arguments I saw in multiple leftists subreddit, on tumblr and twitter in the past few months. I know leftists irl are more normal.

See, this is what I mean when I point out that Online Leftists have become just as much of a zero-sum radicalized death cult as the MAGA Trumpists. They're willing to embrace any atrocity, global disaster, terrible people, and massive death toll as long as they think it'll bring their Shining Ideology (TM) to fruition, and then of course this will last a thousand years and never be changed and humans will bow down as a group to this Shining Ideology and destroying everything will be Worth It In The End. Apparently. This is complete ahistorical genocidal nihilistic gibberish, where any progress to fix the world and make a better future for the billions of people alive right now is actually Bad because What About the Glorious Revolution?!?! It is Totally Real! It Will Work! O Bow To Us Great Keyboard Warrior Dipshits! If You Don't Want to Violently Die With Everyone You Love, You Are Part of the Problem!!!!!

Now, I don't know about you, but I sure as fuck don't feel like sacrificing everyone and everything is a great tradeoff for whatever Communist Utopia these cosplaying pissbabies think would be the ultimate fruition of their labors. It's lazy, it's dangerous, it's stupid, it excuses them from ever having to do any effort to make the world better right now, and it feeds into the worst impulses and movements of humanity and the same mistakes that have been repeated in history over and over. This is basically what the late 19th-century and early 20th-century Communists thought: people would rise up in a Great Socialist Revolution, overthrow capitalism and fascism and every other bad thing in the world (which would somehow never ever come back, I guess) and then the future would be bright and shining forever. In practice, it resulted in tons of bloody and pointless deaths, a lot of failure, and some communist regimes that were absolutely zero improvement whatsoever on the oppressive systems they had replaced (and often were in fact MORE oppressive, but online leftists don't listen to people who actually grew up in these regimes and are not eager to see them come back). And guess what? Capitalism and fascism were not actually defeated Once and For All Time! Because yet again, you cannot just Violently Revolute your way to Ultimate Morally Pure Power once and for all, kill the Right People (aka everyone) and then everything is fixed forever. If it was ever going to work, it would have already done so. It has not. This fallacy is the cause of pretty much all the evil in human history. So. Yeah.

[thedarlingdearestdead]

Anakin the Mechanic:

Summary: Your ship had been badly damaged on your last mission and you were the one stuck fixing it. Anakin finds you looking lost and wants to help you... in more ways than one.

Warnings: Kissing, fluff, banter, pretty safe.

Word count: 1,630

It was a rare day off for you, a single moment in between the chaos as the Jedi council discussed you and your master’s next assignment. You were grateful for it. Though it was not exactly an opportunity for respite. 

Your ship had been badly damaged in your last fire fight, you’d come back with a rocky descent filled with horrible noises and smoke, not a happy landing. Some of the big stuff you could understand, you got it patched up fairly easily, working all evening yesterday with a team of mechanics on the main hull. But this morning, upon trying to start it up, you found it was still having some sort of issue. 

It was frustrating as you would much rather be training, or doing your research. Or pretty much be anywhere else doing anything else. The grease from the engine was gathered underneath your nails in a most unpleasant way, your hair gone frizzy from the smoke and heat, your head aching from the fumes.

You had been staring into one of the side panels for about 10 minutes now. Determined that it was these circuits that had been causing such trouble, part of you wanted to give up and just hit it with the screwdriver that you held in your hand, just so you’d know what, and where, the damage was. 

You must have been glaring, face stony as you zoned out, very close to a small melt-down. You were very tired and this had to get done. That’s probably why when Anakin Skywalker came up behind you, you jumped, dropping your tool as he starts to laugh at you.

“That’s not funny, Anakin! I could have hurt myself!” You say as a response to his mirth.

“I’m sorry, you just looked so focused, I couldn’t help myself!” He settles down slightly, leaning casually against the ship. The ship groaned and something sparked up by his sleeve comically causing his to jump back in fright himself. “Force, what have you done to this?”

You shrug, “We got hit a few times trying to go into hyperspace.”

He steps back and surveys the fresh patch jobs, still not painted over, and he rubs his arm near where the spark had almost got him almost unconsciously, thinking. Then he takes in the piles scattering of tools, rags, and equipment, as well as your, probably very, bedraggled state.

You could feel his eyes on you, and you shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Anakin had always been a bit of a wild card, unpredictable and impulsive. You had been assigned to work with him before, and four him to be such an overwhelming, distracting presence. There was always an energy around him, a sense of barely-contained chaos that made you nervous.

"So, what's the plan?" Anakin finally asked, squinting and trying to stay nice and diplomatic. Though you could tell by his fidgeting that he desperately wanted to start fixing your ship for you.

You sighed, wiping your hands on your already spoiled robes, trying to decide whether your pride and patience could accept. "I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong with the circuits. I think it's a power issue, but I can't seem to pinpoint the source."

Anakin nodded, his eyes scanning the ship once again, eyes moving straight towards the other end of it, and fixing on the anterior electric panel. “Well, do you want some help?” He was edging away from you, an eagerness growing in his eyes, “I can pop her open, take a look?” He had already reached his target and took your non-resistance as a yes. 

You were annoyed that he headed towards the opposite side of the ship to where you had been working. It was a subtle way of telling you ‘you’re doing it completely wrong.’ Judging by your success throughout the day he was probably right and you could probably use the help. It was still irritating though.

You watched as Anakin expertly open the panel and began to examine the circuits. His fingers moved deftly over the wires and switches, awfully confident and easy. You couldn't help but appreciate the intense concentration on his face.

You leaned against the ship and watched him, grateful for his help, feeling a pang of affection for how content he looked. "How did you get so good at this?" you asked, genuinely curious.

Anakin shrugged, not looking up from his work. "I've had a lot of practice. My mom used to scavenge parts and I would help her fix things up. It was a good way to learn."

You nodded, impressed and slightly sad at the mention of his mother, you never knew yours. "You know, I never imagined I would have to fix my own ship when I became a Jedi," you commented, smiling wryly.

Anakin chuckled, finally looking up at you. "Technically you're not fixing your own ship." He closed the small door and stepped back. Ushering you backwards as he walks around the ship, entering it and leading you to the cockpit. 

Anakin sits down in the pilot's seat and begins typing away at the control panel. "I can reroute power from the engines to the circuits, that should give us the boost we need to get this baby off the ground," he explains, his fingers moving over the controls with lightning speed.

Watching him was incredible. Anakin was so talented, so skilled at everything he did. You had seen him in combat, seen him take down entire armies with his lightsaber. And yet here he was, fixing a broken ship with the same level of intensity and focus.

He must have noticed your eyes. "What?" Anakin asked, glancing up at you from where he was working.

"I'm just impressed," you admitted. "You're so good at everything you do."

Anakin grinned at you, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "You're not wrong." And with that he pressed a final button and the engine came to life. Not spluttering or sparking, not roaring or shaking as it had been when you tried. 

You tried to ignore the cocky smile on his face, his obvious pleasure at your surprise and joy which came out of you in a small 'whoop!'. But it was difficult. It was easy to ignore Anakins shine when in battle, in meetings, or in a large vehicle hangar. But in this small space you felt blinded. 

"Thank you, Anakin- really you saved the day, my day... I would have been here for hours staring at the wrong place and making an even bigger mess. 

"Well, I couldn't stand to watch you destroy this ship. I had to come in and save her..." He stroked the control unit lovingly, mocking your attempts at mechanics. 

"Hey I would have gotten it eventually!" You say indignantly.

"Yeah, you would've." He concedes. "But sometimes it's good to take a break from all the fighting, all the politics. Just work with your hands, fix something. It's therapeutic. I don't mind helping you, you just need to ask."

He was standing now, the two of you cramped behind the pilots seats, in the small dark alcove between them, and the cabin. 

Anakin's words echoed in your mind, and you realised that he was right. Sometimes, it was good to take a break from the chaos of being a Jedi and just focus on something simple and tangible.

Anakin had a kind heart and a willingness to help others, even if it meant getting his hands dirty.

"I'll keep that in mind," you said.

You both leaned in at the same time, meeting in the middle for a gloriously light and gentle kiss. 

As your lips met, you felt a spark ignite between you, a spark that had been building for a long time. And now, as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, you felt a sense of rightness, a sense that this was where you were meant to be.

For a long moment, you lost yourself in the kiss, forgetting everything else except the feel of Anakin's lips against yours, the warmth of his body pressed against yours. It was like nothing else mattered except this moment, this connection between the two of you.

But as the kiss deepened, you felt a sense of urgency creeping in, unlike anything you'd felt before. A sense that this moment was fleeting and you needed to make the most of it. As Anakin's hands roamed over your body, tracing the curves of your hips and the small of your back, you felt a shiver, curving into him, pushing him up against the doorway. 

He smirked into your mouth. He cupped your face in his hands, running his fingers down your cheeks, tilting your face up into the kiss.

Before he pushed you backwards, not violent but rough, you hit the opposite wall and now he was the one to press you against the frame, his body pressed full against yours, as the kiss intensified. You felt a breath catch in your throat, as you pulled away briefly to take a moment, to look at him. Both of you panting for air, Anakin staring at you with those intense dark eyes. 

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," he confesses. "I know we can't, not now, not with everything going on, the war, the constant missions, but I just wanted you to know... how I feel," he explained, his voice breathy. 

There was no hesitation, no stopping to think about it. You just knew. You knew he was right, no matter what tomorrow or the next day might bring, you knew you couldn't ignore your feelings. And you couldn't ignore the way you felt right now.

"Just kiss me Anakin." You say, and he does.

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to people who relapse quick.

Shoutout to people who try to recover, but it doesn’t ever last long.

Shoutout to the people who want to get better, but they’re struggling to start.

I see so many people comforting those far into recovery who’ve relapsed, saying that it is a normal part of recovery and they will be okay. Which is completely true! But I rarely see that same energy for people who haven’t been clean for long or who relapse often.

It’s hard to get your footing in recovery. Wanting to get better and taking steps to get better are two very different things; one much harder than the other.

Even a quickly failed attempt at recovery is something worth celebrating.

Trying to recover, knowing you probably won’t stay clean for long, and still deciding to try again is something impressive.

The only consistent trait in recovery from anything is relapsing at least once. If you don’t relapse, then you haven’t done the work to heal the cause of your destructive behavior. Relapse is integral to healing.

While it is ideal that these relapses are few and far between, that is something that is just unattainable for some.

I often see comments on tiktok that talk about how annoying it is when someone says “one second clean” or something along those lines, but I couldn’t disagree more. I am such a strong believer that every single second you aren’t acting on self destructive impulses is an accomplishment.

Especially if you’re actively resisting that behavior.

Relapse is normal in recovery. That includes relapses that happen after months of being clean, and relapses that happen within hours of being clean. While you should always strive to go longer and longer without relapsing, any amount of time spent not relapsing is something to be proud of.

Intent matters. Wanting to get better matters, even if you aren’t making much progress, is something to celebrate. Strive to be better, but don’t forget the little victories along the way.

[selya711-twiste]

i'll take that, it's mine now

Rollo Flamme x reader You take his handkerchief from him.

ignoring my friend's request so that rollo would be my first post god bless. heads up that all my following works default to gender neutral y/n unless the request says otherwise. yuu is a shithead here btw. maybe some tsundere rollo is ok. is this called pining btw

It's the second day of your trip to the city of flowers. The events that transpired the previous day all feel like a fever dream. You try to recall a scene from the festival, but all of a sudden your memories blur in together with the flickering reds and yellows of those flowers that spread like wildfire. Like an actual fever, you feel like you're overheating from dwelling on these thoughts for too long.

"Are you still listening?" Rollo speaks up a little louder, getting you out of your haze. You nod your head in response, but he's already caught on to your attention being elsewhere. "As I was saying…" He pauses for a moment as your eyes return to him. You sincerely tried to avoid conversations with the other Night Raven students as much as possible until noon. All that effort would go to waste now if Rollo Flamme of all people were to notice.

He was the one behind everything, wasn't he?

You don't have any magic (which is why you assume he's interested in you at all) so there must be some other way to get back at him. A small act done out of spite, something you can do... something to get on his nerves...

Rollo has yet to notice the shift in your expression when he brings out his handkerchief. Your eyes sparkle at the familiar purple cloth adorned with golden celestial shapes. Right before he could carry on with whatever he was talking about to you, your hand darts out and snatches it from him. It didn't even have the chance to touch his lips yet but now you have his handkerchief in your clutches. "I… What?" Rollo stares at you completely dumbfounded, at the sheer audacity-

You send him off with the most mischievous smile you could muster and turn around to flee. The image of his deer-in-the-headlights expression completely burns itself into your mind. You must admit you did this completely on impulse because now you have to deal with the prospect of returning it. Who knows what he could do to you over a handkerchief considering he set the city on fire.

You debate with yourself whether you should turn around or not to check if he's after you. As soon as you do, he's still standing there shocked at what you just did. His hand hasn't even moved from its original position. Your laugh echoes down the hallway as you continue to get away and your heart races with excitement. It's not long before you finally reunite with your schoolmates who ask you where you've been. The handkerchief is tucked neatly into your pocket. You reply innocently that Rollo talked with you for a moment while you were sweating bullets.

You spend the afternoon with your schoolmates and explore what the City of Flowers has to offer past the festival. The whole time, however, you feel holes being bored into your back.

"Hey, you good?" Your good friend Deuce places a hand on your shoulder. Fortunately, his voice was a bit hushed, so you don't have to worry about everyone else worrying over you. You reply as soon as you could but you don't let him know why you were distracted in the first place. Rollo is standing there at the other end of the street with other Noble Bell College students, his sharp gaze locked on yours. A million thoughts race through your head about how this encounter would go. Maybe Rollo will walk over towards you with your friends to ask for his handkerchief back, but that means facing everyone who confronted him the previous night.

Speak of the devil, you thought to yourself when Rollo takes a step forward after excusing himself from his companions. Fortunately, Grim tugs on your pants with his little paw to get you going. Your friends are already leaving to go to another area. Once again, he watches you go with his beloved fabric in your pocket.

Would the others notice that he hasn't brought out his handkerchief since lunch yet?

Just to rub some salt in the wound, you face him one last time to stick your tongue out.

He glares at you like his vein could burst at any moment.

...

You spent much of your afternoon revisiting shopkeepers you met yesterday and finding new stalls that you missed during the festival. Professor Trein passed by at some point to check on your group and was glad to see everyone immersed in the city's culture. You have completely forgotten about the "souvenir" in your pocket. Hours pass until the familiar chime of the Bell of Salvation rings throughout the city.

The sun has already set. The orange-red hue of the sky is gone and drifting into a softer lavender. It won't be long before it's completely dark. It's about to be dinner soon and you have already returned to Noble Bell's campus. The others tell you not to get lost when you slink out of the group to find a restroom.

That soft light seeps through the windows of the hallway. It's exactly at this moment that you remember the item in your pocket as this was where you and Rollo left off earlier. All the other students are clamoring in the main hall and you can hear it from where you're standing.

If it was possible, maybe he could forget about what you did to him today. It's soft in your hand as you take it out and lean against the stone wall.

You've grown accustomed to being seen as beneath all of your peers because of your inability to cast magic. You were mocked and cast aside here and there, and it was only a few months into the academic year when Grim would start defending you.

Rollo was the first one to express concern over your predicament. You remember vividly how you two first met, down to the way the palm of his hand felt when he shook yours... but the chaos that followed not long after ruins the memory a little.

A mage that scorned other mages over the use of magic was definitely new, and you're going to have to add this to your long list of experiences in this world you weren't born in. Compared to the others you have spent most of the academic year with up until this point, you only just met Rollo when everything went downhill in a day. You're curious about the warmth and coldness in your heart happening simultaneously as you thought deeply about him.

Maybe at another time, the crimson flowers never bloomed and the party would have gone on like normal. You two could have gotten to know each other better otherwise and shared a much more comfortable dance. The novelty of having someone new in your life whether he was a friend or foe will wear off soon enough, and maybe none of this would ever be spoken about again...

...Yet when you think about the possibility that you two almost never met, something in you stills. You absent-mindedly press the handkerchief to your lips the same way he would as a way to comfort yourself. Sure, he hurt your friends, but it's not like your friends haven't been constantly at each other's throats either. This isn't exactly new to you and there's even something funny about the absurdity of it all. Maybe you really have gone mad.

You tap into your inner middle schooler with a crush and hope you could keep this forever after that indirect kiss warmed you up a bit, but you're careless.

"You really thought you could escape me?" A mocking voice gets you out of your head as a strong presence stands right in front of you.

A choked noise comes out of your throat and you immediately pull your hands away from your mouth, desperately hoping he didn't see what you were doing just now. Your eyes have nowhere to go but toward his gaze, and it feels like you just dug your grave deeper. When did he get here? You ask yourself that as if you weren't yearning to see him again just now.

Even if you wanted to say anything, let alone his name, it doesn't seem like coherence is an option.

"Now hand it over. You shouldn't be stealing what doesn't belong to you." Did he really need to be this close? You clutch the handkerchief a bit more strongly and he catches onto your knuckles turning white from the force you're gripping it with.

It feels like the fever you woke up with was returning, along with all the sirens blaring in your head to actually move already. You still have a chance to run and keep this game going for longer, but you can't help but succumb to him. Being in front of Rollo like this combined with the silhouette his uniform gives him makes you feel so small.

"Give."

That was definitely a command, and his voice was firm. But when you look at him, he doesn't seem too mad at you, his grimace from this afternoon aside. Your heart skips a beat from how focused he is on you, but a part of you reasons that he merely wants his personal belonging back. You don't break eye contact with him even as he places a hand out in front of you, waiting for his handkerchief to be placed on it.

Instead of doing what he wants, you scoff and unfold it right in front of him. You haven't lost yet. There's still something you can do, and you have to do it fast before someone walks in on you two. You steel your nerves and finally speak.

"Why should I? I want to keep it as a memento of my time here."

Before he could retort, you wrap it around his neck and pull him closer to you. Rollo looks at you with his mouth agape. Once again, you have him absolutely mesmerized (or appalled) with your boldness. You're starting to become obsessed with getting on his nerves. It's fortunate that he didn't see what you were doing with his handkerchief because now you're intent on giving him the real thing.

You don't know how much he's thought of you today since yesterday, and this is the closest he's gotten to you the way he's always wanted, more than when you two waltzed together.

It's as though you're leaning in for a kiss, but Rollo is too staggered to respond to that like it was one. He hasn't moved at all.

I want to keep you in my pocket next, you don't say out loud, but he could feel the possessiveness in your actions all the same.

Your lips barely brush against his when you immediately pull away instead of what you initially planned to do. The last thing he sees is your light-hearted grin when you pull his hat down and shove it to his face. A perfect distraction for you to slink away. Rollo finally stands back and gasps at what just happened while you're already escaping once again. He hurriedly fixes himself and pulls the loose handkerchief away from his neck. You can see in the low light that the tip of his ears has become a shade of pink along with his cheeks, even if he was peeved.

"See you during dinner, Rollo!" You wave and turn to walk away from the man who was still standing there absolutely flabbergasted.

He'll certainly have a lot to say the next time you two find each other alone. Maybe when that happens, you'll actually kiss him.

Rollo is looking forward to that as well, though hopefully, you're not going to forget that your action today warrants punishment...

[allkindfangirl]

reader getting mad with rafe about the whole melting the cross thing bcus shes also friends with pope and breaking up with him and trying to make her jealous with sofia? (i love angst sm idk why)

pairing: rafe cameron x reader warnings: season 3 spoiler (kinda?), mention of alcohol, toxic behavior

You couldn't believe his words when Rafe told you about melting down the cross. You knew he was impulsive but you never thought he would do something so thoughtless. Devil and angel were already fighting inside of you, with him always working against your friends, but this was the last straw. He had thought it was a good idea, he thought once again he had done the right thing without really thinking about what he did.

He tried to understand you when you yelled at him about how the cross was important for Pope, that it meant something to his family but he didn't really care. It was this side of him that was ruthless and didn't care about people around him.

Though you were happy that he was clean now, his ruthlessness, the selfishness got even worse. He felt a new kind of power since his father couldn't dictate him anymore.

"I'm done with this shit Rafe." You were standing across from him on the veranda of Tanney hill.

"Shit? Our relationship?" He scoffed, tried to not let the anger well up in his body. He was pacing around in front of you, a grin on his lips. "Y/n, grow the fuck up. You can't keep running around with your friends, chasing stupid little adventures. This is real life." He was looking down at you, a feeling you hated.

"No Rafe.", you said through gritted teeth. "You need to grow up. This isn't real life. Stealing from people isn't real life. Just doing whatever you think is the best, isn't real life."

You didn't feel safe in his presence, even though he was standing meters away from you and even though you knew he would never actually hurt you. But still, his mood changes were unpredictable.

His hands run over his buzzed head, as he took a step towards you. He was looking at you with crazy eyes, sweat forming on his chest under the white shirt and on his forehead.

"Maybe then we're just not meant to be together if we're so different, y/n."

Though you felt your heart sinking with his words you tried to stiffen up. You shrug your shoulders. "I should've broken up with you a long time ago."

You flinched when he was suddenly standing right in front of you, his face almost touching yours, him raising his finger at you. "No, no.", he grinned. "You're not breaking up with me. I am breaking up with you.", he whispered, but still it send shivers down your back. You knew he was close to losing it completely.

"Whatever.", were your last words and you felt your body relax as soon as you left his house.

-

The next couple of weeks you did everything you could to not cross his ways. He didn't reach out to you and you didn't reach out to him. You figured this time it was really over. Though you tried to ignore him, it took you quite some time to not miss him everyday. You didn't think you would ever get over him, though you knew it was for the best. The two of you had been opposites from the beginning. You had been blind to see that you couldn't change him.

Toppers party was the first time you went out again. Since Sarah was hanging out with him again, she had asked you to come with her. You really didn't wanted to go. Too afraid to see Rafe again. Still, you could really use a drink and you were done with sitting in your room alone all night every night.

The music was blasting through the house, people drinking, smoking and doing coke everywhere. You always hated this side of Rafes friends and that he was a part of this.

Still, tonight you tried to forget all of it, the drink in your hand helping.

"Y/n.", you heard Topper behind you. You said your hello, then taking a couple of shots with him and Sarah in the big, crowded kitchen.

And then he walked in, wearing a lose shirt and shorts. He grinned as he saw his friends, then saw you standing beside Sarah and his smile disappeared for a second. The eye contact was heated. It felt like he was looking right inside your soul and for a moment it felt like your were the only ones in the room.

And then there she was. It took a second to realize that she was here with him. She slung his arm around his torso, smiling up at him, then greeting everyone in the group.

Rafe was still looking at you, a light smirk on his lips. Then he leaned down to her, to peck her lips with a kiss.

He wanted to hurt you and he knew this was the best way to do it. You had been the one he loved, he really thought and always hoped you would understand him. It turned out you didn't. He felt betrayed by you leaving him.

It worked. You hadn't felt a pain like this before. You knew Rafe had been with girls before you, but you never really wanted to think about him with someone else. The thought of him kissing another girl, giving his all to someone else just crushed you. His lips- they were supposed to be on yours, his body was suppose to do things to your body, not someone else's.

You grabbed Sarahs hand, then turned to her. "I- uhm- I should go.", you said, stumbling.

"Don't. We can just go outside. Please, don't let him ruin your night."

You gave her a light smile but shook your head. "No, it's fine really. I just want to go home.", you said. Then said a quick goodbye and rushed out of the kitchen, too afraid to burst out in tears in front of everyone.

As soon as you stepped outside the house you felt tears of anger running down your face. You knew, you had been the one who left him - still, you didn't think he would just move on and get with another girl like you didn't mean anything to him.

"You're already leaving?"

You froze, not able to move when you heard his voice behind you and his footsteps coming closer to you.

His touch on your hip send you over the edge. Tears on your face, your lips parted and your back still facing him.

"Don't touch me.", you whispered, but he didn't care. He just scoffed. You were still not able to move when he shove his hand up your shirt, feeling your warm skin on his skin. He pulled you close to his chest, his lips near your ear.

"I didn't think I would have such an effect on you."

You closed your eyes while trying to calm yourself down, but nothing could make the butterflies in your stomach go away. He had an effect on you. His touch always made you weak and he knew that. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

His grip on your hip tightened and with one push he swirled you around, so you would finally look at him.

He had a light grin on his lips. He knew he had you under his spell. His hand came up to your face to wipe away the tears on your cheek.

"Don't cry because of me.", he pointed out. Not to make you feel better but to show you what he did to you, that you were the weak one.

You melted under his touch. One of his hands was still laying on your cheek, the other one already back on your bare hip.

"You're mine.", you whispered but didn't dare looking him in the eyes. It tore you apart, showing him so much weakness, but the thought of him giving himself to somebody else just drove you crazy.

"Say it again. I didn't hear you." Rafes hand ran down your cheek to touch your chin. He made you look up to him, to look him in the eyes.

"Say it.", he whispered. His eyes were staring at your lips, waiting for those words, that just drove him wild, to escape from your lips.

"You're mine."

- really don't know if this is how you wanted it to go but I just got carried away. xx hope you still like it.

requests are open!

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