#i literally live here can y’all not act like i have no reason to find it miserable. come on man
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greelin · 2 years ago
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if god is real then explain the state of georgia
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successfulgoddess333 · 7 months ago
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MENTALLY JUST BE, PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP
The 3D is a RESULT
If you assume something in the 4D(your mind) watch it unravel in your 3D
Why is this???
I’m gonna yell at you now
BECAUSE THE 3D IS CHANGEABLE AND IT IS SO BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS A RESULT
The 3D is a result of assumption
The assumptions you created yourself subconsciously
Manifesting a new job is the same as manifesting
A billionaire status
Stop doubting something that’s so easy
Whether you manifest through The void or whatever other methods it is sooo easy
Quit victimizing and babying yourself and get it the fuck done
Ain’t nobody gonna do it for ya
It’s your life baby you write it design it however the heck you want it to be
I’m not one of those bloggers to be be like “it’s ok pookie if you fail🥹”
NO BITCH YOU CANNOT FAIL
THE VOID IS LITERALLY YOU
YOUR GORGEOUS SELF IS THE REASON WHY IT EXISTS AND YOU OVERCOMPLICATING IT FOR WHAT???
Ignore the 3D
It’s physical
The jeans you’re wearing right now or that hoodie
Is physical
You can change it up for you want
The 3D is that
It’s those jeans that hoodie those socks
Change it
If you don’t wanna wear it
THEN DONT
If you feel like you deserve better
ASSUME BETTER
LOOK IN THAT MF MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU WE ALL FINE AS HELL
JEALOUSY FOR WHATTTTTT
BBY GIRL ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH
YOU TOO PRETTY TO BE SAD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOID CUZ THE UNIVERSE SHOWED YOU YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
ACT LIKE IT GIRL!!!!!!
THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STOP READING AND GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE
LIKE TF YOU STILL READING FOR
TAKE YOU FINE ASS TO THE VOID AND GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED
WITH YOUR CUTE SELF😏
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH
BUT STOP SAYING “hoW dO EnTEr tHE vOiD?”
👁️👄👁️
Bitch you just did
YOU ALWAYS DOOOOOO
Jesus peanut butter Christ
Cmon y’all
yOu HavE alWayS dONe tHis!!!!
Every time you go to bed
You’re detaching from the 3D(physical reality)
To be in the 4D reality
All you’re doing is becoming aware of it
Oh my god
How hard is that?!!!!
You’re killing me babes😔✋🏾
Please for the love of jell-o
Understand how easy this shizzz is
Bruh
You’re in the 3D void rn
I know that probably doesn’t exist but hear me out
You’re so attached to this reality right
Every day you are aware that you’re here living in this physical world as a physical being
This is like our 3D version of the void state
It’s not actually the void
But it’s like our state of awareness
Just in this 3D world
We’re aware that we are physical
So to shift your awareness to the 4D simply just
Be aware
Just like you’re aware now
“BUtt hoW dO sTaY aWAkE?”
Who said you gotta be sleepy??
Bitch you could do it rn if you really want to
It’s dumb to think you gotta be tired at to enter the void
NOOOOO
You literally are mentally awake
Your BODY is asleep
So why should you??
It’s different if you wanna tap into it WHILE asleep
Like waking up in it
But you don’t need to be dead tired to do it y’all
Listen bitch
You will never make it if you don’t claim your power and go get it
Stop wasting time stop assuming you fail or it’s hard
YOU DA POWERFUL ONE BABE
Sugar baby it’s all in your hands
You’re the God of your reality
Go make your life the way you want it
Quit spending hours trying to find methods to something to you naturally do every night with NO method
When you go to sleep
You are in the state of just being
You’re just sleep
When you’re awake you’re in the state of awakened awareness
You’re just awake and aware
Soooo in the void mix those two together in the void
Mentally Just BE
Physical Just sleep
Omg my new motto
The key to the void state is
“MENTALLY JUST BE
PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP”
That’s it
That’s all
And If your favorite celebrities can manifest so can you
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callsign-blue · 7 months ago
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On this day 4/21/24 at 11:18 am- I have finished Iron Flame and we have to wait till fucking January of 2025 for book 3….
Holy fucking shit there’s so much action and it’s literally insane. Also y’all have been too harsh on Mama Sorrengail… like I get it like she’s harsh but look how her kids turned out they are hardheaded stubborn so 10 toes down on what they think is right. She completed her goal and now she’s going back to the love of her life, a scribe..♥️ don’t care. I am 100% backing their mom.
Also Andarna being left behind like they could be more out there we just don’t know and if the dragons don’t know, the elders might know maybe they don’t even know. Because there is so much of the map that we have not even been to that could maybe be where they could be at her breed. Like they could be in the barren even though there’s not really any mountains like literally anywhere they’re hiding. Or maybe her family fled to give her a chance to live? I’m just just throwing these out here.
I’m going to have to read the last chapter over and over again, but you know I thought it was gonna be more intense honestly. From chapter 60 and on all, it is fucking intense but I thought it would be different. I don’t know like they get her, violet, surrounded still on the fighting field. They do the same thing for Xadan. And then you know either one gets tortured then it forces that one has to turn to save the other (lol hint hint)
I think Onyx Storm to do with both Xaden and Andarna. Not one or the other.
I think nothing really prepared me for Lilith Sorrengail end..like at all….
Also, I am so happy that Sawyer made it. Like there’s just so much going on in the last six chapters. I think the Venin, from what I have gathered do you want Violet, but to take her signet from her and then kill her. And I say that because The guys on page 593 the dark Wilder says “ I’m under orders not to kill, so let’s not make this difficult” also says “ you’ll be so much fun for him to wield” and obviously throughout the last few parts of the first book at Resson they were trying to at least harm violet or try to kidnap her. Her signet is legitimate power. She’s also the first Lightning user in they said decades or hundreds of years( I don’t quite remember, but it was a long time) You can see why they would want her specifically.
I find it very fucking interesting that they both have the same nightmares. They just never told each other about it like he turned for love and she will turn to save the one she loves.what the fuck
Also, it’s been coincide with that “ I have waited 650 years to hatch. Waited until your 18th summer, when I heard our elders talk of the week link daughter of their general, the girl forecasted to become the head of the scribes, and I knew. You would have the mind of a scribe and the heart of a rider you would be mine.”- Andarna. Her breed has to be the breed that wiped out the venin all those years ago because those numbers don’t just correlate for randomness. It just doesn’t make sense like for the love of fucking God it doesn’t make sense.(also I’m not religious that I’m just making a point.)
I also understand the reason why Violet is acting how she is with her now trust issue and being left in the dark is such a big thing for her. I think it’s just because she found her chosen family and finding out that there things being withhold from you, that are important, but not significant to the moment. Xaden is so patient and he definitely gets brownie points from me. He also has trust issues and not saying hes innocent in all this but they both have their reasons and they are taking healthy steps and moving forwards. Violet tends to be centered with knowledge and having that helps her make decided what to do next and move forward.
The conversations/arguments do get tedious, but considering a lot of her knowledge of The Continent and what happens and basically being lied to about their whole society will do that to a person because they think whatever they thought they knew they now have to rethink it. And it does suck being kept in the dark about stuff nobody wants to be kept in the dark, but in the end, she still loves him, she still chooses him.
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if-maggots-knew-god · 1 month ago
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IMKG- META POST
What is ‘if maggots knew god’ ?
What does it want to achieve?
Why is it taking so long?
(What is) if maggots knew god (IMKG) is a hobby-writing/illustration project of mine, i your ‘humble’ author and artist Hunter, decided to write and illustrate a graphic novel style horror/psychological comic. Because of I want to (:
The story premise can be found on the accounts pinned post so I’d refer to that in terms of explaining the idea.
The story serves as my personal little pet project not just to tell a story but also to learn about the process and in a sense “playtest” different ideas, a lot of the story ideas in IMKG are inspired by my own literal dreams (and nightmares tbh). I’m hoping to make all of this somewhat coherent into one story but to be completely honest I’m really just messing around with all this because it’s fun (:
(What does it want?) The story, focuses heavily on the concept of immortality, many characters within the story face a unique kind of immortality tied to the characters arc. In tangent with this one of the central themes of the story is also death, and the ‘ending’ of a story. What makes a good ending? What makes a bad one? How long should a story go on? Which are all questions a storyteller faces when writing.
“The story MUST end” to put it concisely, an objective fact. This also applies to living beings hence the theme of immortality, when is it appropriate for someone to die? What happens if they refuse?
The story is structured around the stages of grief, with an “act” of the story dedicated to each stage, the prologue (which is already finished and available!! Find on pinned in the chapter index if you haven’t read it already!) acting as the event that sparks this grief, although this might not be fully clear with the information currently available (will be elaborated on as the story continues though, as any prologue does)
Long story short, IMKG is a story that questions why things must end, how and the resulting grief from things ending. All wrapped up in a (hopefully) nicely illustrated horror setting.
(Why is it taking so long) I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to single handedly write and illustrate a 5 act story with several chapters for each act while ALSO figuring out the process in a practical sense.
It’s hard though!! And like, I’m also a full time student plus life and all that. Don’t get me wrong it’s tons of fun but there’s a reason they have multiple people for this professionally! Woof!
The process includes, a beta script, a final script, storyboarding the labels, rendering (sketch, lineart, colour, shading and lettering!!!) in the future, it’s possible that I might include friends in the process, currently my roommate helps me beta-read the script and has also helped a bit with the design process of things!
This blog has been around for about a year now! (Woo!! Yippie!!!) which I’ve spent figuring out major plot points, character designs for the main characters and TONS of world building,
a lot of which I’ve been sharing for the people who have been around since the beginning (and who I cannot thank enough for being around, seriously guys it might not be much but the handful of y’all are a key component in the making of this, the encouragement on posts keeps me working and motivated!! And not to name favorites but especially thanks to Elias-the-Corvid and sop-soap)
Conclusion
This has all been a decently sized rant, mostly for posterity’s sake, looking back at where we’ve been and where it’s all going from here as I’m finally getting into actually making the whole thing! And also a little bit to hopefully entice new people to be interested (:
There’s a lot more to this that I can’t wait to share
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If you want another adaptation to avoid for doing Lucy dirty is the 2020 graphic novel adaptation of Dracula, and the 2013 tv show, in which she is in love with Mina and Mina is a homophobe and rejects her and Lucy takes revenge by sleeping with Jonathan. So Dracula (who is in love with Mina and also a proto-feminist) targets Lucy to punish her for it and says "If you are going to act like a monster, then I'll make you one." and bites her, turning her into a vampire.
…wait WHAT???? Why is that a thing????!!! I get steadily more confused and horrified the more I learn about these adaptations (much in the same way that our good friend Jonathan gets slowly horrified by Dracula while living in his castle…too soon? I’ll see myself out).
I’m sorry Anon, you’re getting another Certified Nova RantTM, but it has to be said. Why can’t these adaptations let Mina and Lucy be friends anymore? And I don’t mean in the “they can’t be shipped way” (I don’t personally ship them, but I certainly respect it), I just mean in general. Like, literally, I can’t seem to find one adaptation where they’re even on pleasant terms??? Mina, at best, tolerates Lucy (usually because they make Lucy such a shallow character) and at worst…whatever that was you just described (can someone give me some bleach for my eyes, please or maybe @ldcurtain can brainsweep me idk??).
Stoker literally wrote them to be best friends. What is the problem with leaving them as BEST 👏 FRIENDS 👏 (or more, for the shippers in the room, but y’all know what I mean). Women supporting women shouldn’t be such a crazy concept in this day and age but I guess it is.
Another thing: I looked up the 2013 show to get a bit more of an idea on what kind of dumpster fire we’re looking at here, and guess what, y’all? It’s yet another “Mina is Dracula’s reincarnated wife” story. So yes, it gets WORSE! I have no idea who came up with that or why it’s a thing, but it exists in so many of these for no reason!!! I absolutely hate it!!! Even the musical, as much as I like it, does this — or implies it IIRC — for no reason. As many of you have said before me, it a) takes away all of Mina’s personality and agency, b) makes a woman-centered story (because while Jonathan is the protagonist, Mina is right there next to him and does take center stage a lot, as she should 💞💫) all about a man and c) is just boring at this point. Not to mention all she does in these is go “but guys 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t want this guy who killed my bff and a bunch of innocent people (INCLUDING A LITERAL BABY) to die 😫 he’s just misunderstood 😣😖 I can fix him 🥰🥹 wjth the power of love 😍🫶” girl…go back to Pick-Me school!
Give me Train Fiend Mina, give me the Mina that makes Jonathan promise to kill her if she turns into a vampire, the one that LITERALLY BEATS DRACULA AT HIS OWN GAME WITH HIS HYPNOSIS??? The one that shows the men in her life that they’re ridiculous for leaving her out of their plans because she’s too “fragile” for it. But also the Mina who comforts Jonathan when he’s emotionally broken after his encounters with Dracula, the one who doesn’t push him for answers until he’s ready to give them, the one who’s excited to be a wife because she has a loving husband (because most adaptations make him “boring” and “too perfect” :/ — that’s a whole other rant). She’s so multifaceted!!!
I want that Mina and I’m beyond angry we don’t get to see her because the producers are too busy trying to make a different movie to see the value of the original character. It’s so upsetting!! All of these characters deserve better and I will never stop saying that.
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standbyme-shit · 4 months ago
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Let’s talk about my little fic I’m writin for Stand by Me/The Goonies.
This is such a fun AU that I love fuckin around with but I haven’t really been writing that much for it which is sad but what can you do
• so I’ve deCIDED. That Teddy Duchamp is Mouth Devereaux’s uncle. Uncle Teddy.
• this fic would take place during the Goonies movie okay
• I like to think that Richard Chambers, being the stupid fucker that he is, made a big huge ultra mega incredibly dumb mistake and got some girlfriend of his pregnant and was like “well shit. Can’t do the responsible thing and better myself for this kid. Not as long as my name is EYEBALL CHAMBERS. No no no honey I’m gonna drop this thing off with my brother and his twink roommate”
• so that’s what he does. Leaves a kid in front of the door to Chris and Gordie’s apartment in NY with a note that says nothing but “don’t want it. Yours now. - Eyeball” and Chris is like “what in the everloving fuck”
• but Gordie is ecstatic???
• bro’s like “A BABY? FOR FREE??? WE ARE KEEPING HER CHRISTOPHER”
• the birth of Robyn(Bobby because Chris js despises “Robby” for some reason idk he’s a diva w names) Denise Chambers
• get it. Get it. Denise like Dennis Because Denny because Gordie’s dead brother
• anyways.
• IN A WORLD. WHERE DOROTHY LACHANCE DIVORCES HER FUCK KNUCKLE OF A HUSBAND IN THE YEAR 1985
• guess where she moves. Guess.
• like right outside the Goon Docks. Where it ain’t considered part of the town so her house don’t get torn down by what’s-his-fuck
• aNYWAYS. Bobby and her parents are helpin Grandma Lachance move and then she’s like “hey. I got a friend/extended family member that lives like five minutes from here” and tells her parents that she gon go find Mouth and they’re like “okay you do that”
• so begins the whole plot of Goonies but Bobby just does not wanna be there whatsoever
• she’s just like “holy fuck guys I just wanna leave what the hell” the ENTIRE TIME
• pulls the “my dad’s a lawyer” card when the Fratelli family literally be threatening their lives
• they’re like “you aren’t gonna make it out of here alive” or “we’re gonna kill you when we get to you” and Bobby just fuckin scoffs and is like “my dad is one of the best lawyers in New York. He’ll DESTROY your ass”
• city girl is NOT afraid to talk back to these ruthless criminals istg it’s a fatal personality trait
• best thing tho. The whole time, nobody else involved in this whole thing knows how Mouth and Bobby know each other. Like at all
• they just be talkin about ‘that one time five years ago’ and everyone’s like “if y’all ain’t related then what the fuck” because they’ve literally never met Bobby and Mouth’s lived in Astoria his literal entire life
• at the end of the movie when the kids are being reunited with their parents and family and all that, Bobby goes to her parents and our boy Michael Walsh flips his absolute shit because one of his all time favorite authors is this random chick’s father
• Mouth starts talking to Chris and Gordie and they’re all just catching up and Mikey’s hyperventilating because now one of his best friends somehow knows Gordon Lachance???? They’re just acting like old friends that haven’t seen each other in a couple months????
That’s. All I have really. At least right now. But I love this AU and wanna write it but honestly with what fucking motivation because I haven’t seen it anywhere
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bobtheacorn · 2 years ago
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What is the difference between leoichi and leosagi? So many people are being annoying about tagging them when they’re the same!! I don’t get it!
I contemplated not answering this when I got it the other day, but I’m bored and I’m thinking so I’m gonna pretend it was sent in good faith and not for drama’s sake. Here we go!
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I don’t know why I got this ask when I am just now beginning to rummage into TMNT and Usagi Yojimbo myself, but I’ll do my best to clarify things because quite a few people are understandably upset about the cross contamination of said tags and I was also a lil confused about it.
Leoichi is the ship name for Leo (mostly Rise!Leo) and Yuichi Usagi (first name/last name).
Leosagi is for Leo (mostly 03!Leo) and Miyamoto Usagi (last name/first name).
Technically, kind of, they are both “leosagi”. HOWEVER, the spirit of ship names usually uses first or given names of characters and rarely surnames, and Leonardo/Usagi has been an active crossover relationship for literal decades (every iteration of Leonardo (except for Rise) has had one or multiple canon interactions with Miyamoto Usagi), whereas Leo/Yuichi only recently spawned from the airing of Netflix’s Samurai Rabbit.
So the difference is…. Pretty obvious, actually.
People (OG Leosagi shippers or ppl who just love their dynamic) are “being annoying about it” because Yuichi fans sprung up like an ant colony in the yard and are coming into THEIR house and shoving some guy they don’t know or care about in their faces, claiming it’s a “crack ship” with only fan-made substance instead of a well-established, canon relationship. They feel like they’re being routed out of their homes by a bunch of rowdy teens and when you’re a cranky old fandom dweller like me, I know that shit can get real annoying real fast.
When you make content for Yuichi and toss him in the leosagi tag, you are wrong. Full stop! You are wrong and you are using the tagging system wrong and maybe it came from a place of genuine ignorance and that’s ok because we are all learning new things every day, but there is no reason to double down or throw a tantrum when someone brings it to your attention and asks you to knock it off. It isn’t ‘stupid’. Berating people who ask you to kindly tag ‘silly fictional characters’ and other things properly is stupid.
Tags are there for your BENEFIT.
The system literally breaks down if you don’t tag things properly. It’s the crux of tailoring your online experience. It’s literally how you avoid seeing things you DON’T want to see; and how you actively find things you DO want to see. It’s, frankly, what makes tumblr and AO3 the most user-friendly platforms on the internet right now.
Using “leosagi” as a blanket tag for both ships on your own blog is usually fine (I do this to some degree but now I’m considering going back and retagging things bc my own tastes on the matter have changed) but for Original Posts, please remember that only the First Five Tags on tumblr will go live in searches across the platform and tag them separately just to be fucking polite.
Act like y’all were raised to be decent.
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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year ago
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Summary:
Set ten years after the events of Resident Evil 4; Luis, Leon and Chris have been in a long-term relationship and finally decided to have a Son.
Only Luis finds out that being a Father reminds him of his a Grandfather more than he was expecting.
So one night when their Son wakes up crying, Luis decides to take it upon himself to comfort both himself his baby.
Absolute gut-wrenching Fluff ensues.
((While this Fic is supposed to be read as apart of my ‘Luis Serra Lives’ AU, it can be read as a stand-alone too! It can also be easily read as just a Leon/Luis Fic as Chris doesn’t make an in-person appearance))
A/N: Repost cuz I didint realise until now that I actually haven’t posted the fic itself onto Tumblr!!!! If y’all could check it out on AO3 too that would mean the world,, this work is very sentimental to me and yes I did almost cry writing it what of it
———
Luis wasn’t usually a light sleeper.
At least, he didn’t think he was. Not until he had his own child, that is.
Most nights nowadays were spent sandwiched against Leon or Chris- Whoever was home at the time- With his back facing their chests, and their arms draped protectively over his shoulders. Usually accompanied by one or the others’ legs being entangled between Luis’, too.
The two of them usually came home late, and if Luis wasn’t awake, they’d slip under the covers with him wordlessly- Knowing that they’d probably be forced to wake up earlier than their boyfriend in the morning, anyways.
But Luis didn’t mind. He never minded; Putting up with their grouchy, sleep-deprived attitudes and their constant old-married-couple back and forth banter was more than reasonable for him. Especially after everything.
August 2004 felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed and so many years passed that it was impossible for Luis to look back and feel any connection towards the man he once was.
He remembered- extremely vividly- lying on that cold, hard concrete and practically begging for Leon to tell him he was a good person during what he was convinced were his final moments. His mouth was full of blood and he could hardly keep a cigarette between his lips, let alone light it.
He’d asked Leon, in an act of desperation, ‘What do you think, Leon? People can change, right?’
It was a desperate plea for forgiveness. He wanted to change so badly yet he always still retraced those same habits that got him in that position in the first place. He thought back to his Grandfather in his ‘dying’ moments; And he wondered if he’d be ashamed or proud.
But Leon had saved him regardless. In every way a person could be saved. Not only did he literally shove some kind of miscellaneous herb into his mouth and pick him up to drape his bloody body over his shoulders- But once they’d arrived back in the USA, Leon did everything in his power to make sure Luis didn’t slip into that self-deprecating cycle of guilt and self-pity he seemed to be oh-so familiar with.
Leon proved to Luis that people could change. And not only that, but people were deserving of love regardless of what they have done.
Luis loved Leon in a way that was so undeniably human and raw and vulnerable it almost hurt at times.
The pair of them couldn’t keep their eyes- or hands- off of each other.
Then Luis was introduced to Chris Redfield; Big, friendly, puppydog-like Chris Redfield who so painfully obviously had the biggest crush on Leon it made Luis feel like he was going insane. The two of them would stammer and blush and shift their weight awkwardly every single time they were alone; And, hell, Luis would be lying if he said he didn’t find the guy attractive as all hell. So they approached him about the possibility of Polyamory;
And here they all were, ten years later, so ingrained and fixed in each other's lives that they practically couldn’t be seen apart from one another. Their day-to-day was so domestic- so routine- And Luis wouldn’t have had it any other way.
If you had asked him ten years ago where he thought he’d be in life, his answer would probably be dead.
Past-Luis probably couldn’t have even fathomed being so unabashedly loved, so unashamedly domestic and genuinely happy.
Was he always happy? No, far from it, in fact. There were plenty of nights where he still felt the ghost of Krauser's knife holed in his spine, or the squirming Plagas inside of his chest like a ghost limb. Sometimes his face still grew hot from the memories of his Grandfather burning alive in his childhood home. He found it hard to fall asleep by himself sometimes- So Leon and Chris would always make an effort to comfort him. One of them would be pressed up against his back, and the other laying across his chest. Reminding him with their physical bodies that he was Ok.
Tonight was exactly one of those nights; Luis had been tossing and turning in his sleep relentlessly since he got home and shed himself of his usual Lab coat. Although the agreement with the US government was that he’d tag along with Leon on missions, he found himself working in the Labs with Rebecca more often than not- And of course, that eventually turned into a full-time job after Leon had finally retired.
Still, though, Luis came home later than expected. And the days stress weighing down on him seemed to trigger some deep-seeded memories from his childhood that he’d rather not forget.
That seemed to usually be his brain's go-to trauma response, at least; ‘Flash some memories of your Grandfather while you try to sleep and you’ll be A-OK’.
Luis couldn’t remember when he had made it to his bed- Nor could he remember when Leon had slipped under the sheets beside him- But he hardly slept regardless. He tried counting sheep and snuggling into his partner's embrace; but nothing helped. There wasn’t even anything specific that was causing this lack of sleep. He just.. Couldn’t. He just had to let his brain replay memories of his childhood with his Grandfather like an awfully cruel movie.
So when the sound of his Son’s crying filled the air in an ear-piercing scream, Luis was already prepared and sitting up on his elbows before Leon had even stirred awake.
“I’ll go get the baby,”
Luis whispered, leaning over to kiss Leon on the temple of his head before forcing himself up straight.
His voice was husky and gravelly, and despite having been awake for at least a few hours his limbs were all still too stiff to avoid a popping noise when they stretched.
Leon responded with a quiet ‘hhhhrmmphhh’ before he shuffled back down under the covers, pressing the ends of his blanket up to his ears in an attempt to drown out the baby’s crying.
Luis just huffed a laugh at the sorry sight of his tired partner and got up on his feet with a groan.
Standing up to exit their shared bedroom, Luis did his best to tie up his long, graying salt-and-pepper hair in a messy half-ponytail with the hair tie he always insisted on having wrapped around his wrists. Years ago, Luis had insisted to Leon that ‘He wasn’t trying to grow his hair out, he just didn't trust the barbers’.
But ten years later with his hair reaching his mid-back at this point, that was obviously a lie. Besides, Luis liked it like this; From what he could remember, his Grandfather always kept his hair long, so it was sentimental in a weird way.
“Loooeeeeesss….”
Leon reached an arm out from beneath the blankets to grab at his’, blue eyes blinking slowly to try and adjust to the light.
“Mwhere are you goin’ love…?”
“I just told you,” Luis chuckled, “I’m gonna go put Matteo back to sleep”
Leon made a noise of protest and tried to sit up from underneath his sheets, pulling Luis in closer by the arm.
“Nonono, don’ get up, I can go get him..”
“Sssshhhh, just go back to bed mí amor,”
Luis gently pushed Leon back down onto his pillow with one hand, leaning over to press a sleepy kiss against his lips.
“I was already up. You just go back to sleep, sí?”
The blonde huffed a reluctant sigh but still sunk back under the covers regardless. His lips were pursed in a little pout as he let go of Luis’ hand.
“But you’re always up to get him. Y’know I’m happy to do it once ‘n a while, right?”
Luis paused for a moment, biting his lip as he tried to figure out how he should respond. Leon was half-asleep, a quarter of the way to being absolutely dead to the world; but he was still right.
Luis was always the one to go put Matteo back to bed when he woke up screaming like this.
He always insisted that Chris or Leon stay in bed, go back to sleep; And tonight was no exception. But being faced with the question he suddenly found that he couldn’t actually figure out why.
Luis always just assumed that it was the least he could do in return. Chris and Leon, despite being ‘retired’, were still constantly called into the office or on smaller Ops- Sometimes for days at a time, even. And while Luis had his day job with Rebecca in the labs, they were much more forgiving when it came to time off.
His two lovers had given him the entire world, in his mind. They’d given him a space to live and to grow as a person and they’d given him more love than any other human being had ever shown him; and most importantly, they gave him the opportunity to be a Father. They all were.
He got the opportunity of a lifetime to look after someone just as his Grandfather had looked after him.
So maybe Luis just wanted to repay them in some way.
They always insisted he didn’t need to do that; that him just being there was more than enough.
But that nagging voice in the back of his head never left, no matter how hard he tried.
“I know…”
Was all Luis could respond with, his voice a little deflated in defeat.
“Just… Just let me do this for you, just this once. ¿Ok, cariño?”
“Okay…” Leon yawned, his voice still slightly reluctant as he snuggled his face further into the pillow. And like a light, he was out within seconds.
Luis smiled and huffed a breath of air through his nose at the sight of his sleepy partner. With one final ruffle of his blonde hair, Luis was snapped back to reality when he heard his Son wailing once more from upstairs.
Luis made his way up to the second floor with a slouched posture and dragging feet; he slipped his reading glasses on somewhere half-way up, and was thoroughly greeted by the high-pitched cries of his baby the second the door creaked open.
Matteo’s room was simple; It didn’t need to be very big, after all (And even so, it was bigger than Luis’ old childhood room with his Grandfather.)
The walls were covered in pastel blue-and-pink flowers painted on courtesy of Ashley one weekend, and the roof was littered in pale blue, glow-in-the-dark stars.
Matteo's cot sat tucked up against the wall, and stuffed toys littering the floor where they must’ve slipped off and landed in a maze-like heap. Luis could just barely make out his Son’s silhouette against the bars of the cot;
And Luis’ heart promptly shattered into a million pieces when he saw Matteo reach out his little baby-arms into the sky at the sound of his entering the room.
Luis skilfully stepped over the pile of toys laying across his floor, before pressing a gentle hand against the wooden bars of Matteo’s cot.
Just as expected, the baby had kicked his blankets off- Probably the cause of his screaming- And had his tiny hands balled up in even tinier fists as big, fat tears fell down his chubby cheeks.
Luis cooed in an attempt to keep himself from crying.
“Ssssshhhhh… ¿ver? Estoy aquí, Teo…”
His words were more for soothing himself rather than the baby as he felt his voice grow wobbly at the sight. Ever since ‘Teo’ was born, Luis became an absolute crybaby- Chris and Leon teased him about it constantly, but never in a mean-spirited way.
Seeing his Son in any kind of discomfort felt worse than any knife to the back ever could; His heart squeezed and all he wanted to do was wipe away those tears forever and never let go of his little boy until he was smiling and laughing again. He wanted to hold and cradle him every second of the day- and if he could, he would.
‘You’re always hogging our son’, Leon had teased one day, watching Luis bounce their kid against his hip. From beside him, Chris reached over to give Matteo a kiss on the cheek.
‘Yeah, you never let us hold him’
‘¡Tu idiotas! You can hold him if you want!’ Luis had responded, feeling a little guilty. But his partner's laughter confirmed it was only a joke.
‘Ignore us, Luis. Teo likes it more when you hold him anyways’
‘He likes it more when you guys tuck him into bed’, Luis had offered, earning laughter from Leon, whose index finger was being held tightly by Teo’s little hands.
Luis was promptly broken out of his trip down memory lane by another sharp, high-pitched scream out of Matteo’s mouth, and although Luis did his best to soothe his Son by rubbing the pads of his thumb across his reddened and tear-stained chubby cheeks- It was no use. Matteo kept screaming and grabbing his hands out into the air, trying to reach for Luis’ long locks.
Through the screaming, Luis couldn’t help but chuckle a little; Teo was always grabbing onto his hair one way or another. He figured it must’ve been some kind of self-comforting baby thing, so he just let him. Matteo hardly ever pulled at it, anyways. He just kinda… held on.
No matter how hard Luis tried to sway his baby boy back to sleep from above the cot, it was all for naught. He just kept crying and wailing, and the longer it went on, the more Luis couldn’t handle seeing his Son in tears like this.
So against his better judgment, Luis cupped his hands underneath his small back and lifted him up with a small ‘There we go…’, cupping the baby’s head inbetween his hand and elbow, firmly grasping onto his leg with the other.
Luis had very quickly figured out that the usual bouncing and ‘there-there’s did not work on his Son. The motion only served to make his crying worse generally, so the brunette resorted to- extremely softly- rocking Matteo back and forth in his arms.
That only worked for a couple moments before Teo was back to wailing again. This time slightly quieter, Luis noted to himself victoriously. He silently wondered if he ever cried as much when his Grandfather took care of him.
He couldn’t tell if he was just tired and therefor had his emotions dialed up to 100 (You know what they say; Never trust your brain past 10:00 PM) Or if he was genuinely upset by his Son’s crying, but Luis felt practically desperate to get him to stop. He didn’t even care about the noise; Just seeing his little bundle of joy’s face all scrunched up and wet from big, fat tears rolling down his face was infinitely more worrying to him than the noise.
So, as gently as possible, Luis bought Matteo up to his face, and after pressing his delicate little forehead against his, Luis started to place feather-light kisses against his baby’s skin. He placed them so tenderly that his own skin tingled from the sensation. As if Matteo was made from porcelain.
And to Luis, he may as well have been.
Every tiny action, every small breath was met with internal cringing- Luis was so self-conscious of just how unfathomably small Matteo was that even just brushing his nose up against the baby’s was enough to make his heart squeeze in worry.
But, at least there was one bright side; Matteo was slowly starting to quieten down his wailing. Every pillowy kiss against his plush skin forced Matteo to stop howling until eventually his voice was broken down to cracked sobs.
But even that seemed to come with it’s own price; Matteo never stopped crying. Screams were replaced with wobbly little whimpers and whines, and his bottom lip quivered every time those big tears of his fell down his chin.
Luis didn’t even know it was possible for his heart to ache with empathy more than it already had, and he secretly wished Matteo would just start screaming again so he didn’t have to see his beautiful boy sobbing silently like this.
“Nonononono, no llores niño hermoso, no llores…”
Luis pressed his forehead up against Matteo’s and squeezed his eyes shut, dipping him just a tiny bit so that his long, curly hair would fall over Teo’s head like a curtain; engulfing the baby in darkness even further. He pressed kisses against Matteo’s small nose and wiped away the tears with his own- At least he tried to with his fast they were falling.
“Deja de llorar por mí, sí? Deja de llorar… Deja de llorar…”
Luis tried to hum in between his words of encouragement, and even though Matteo probably couldn’t understand him- It seemed to be working regardless.
“¿Ver? Ahí tienes, no llores nena, lo estás haciendo tan bien… Tan bueno para mí, Teo”
All Luis could do was let his words of encouragement and comfort sink into his Son's skin, even if he couldn’t fully understand them. He hoped that somehow the message got through regardless of their language barrier, that by some miracle, Matteo understood what Luis was trying to tell him and took it to heart.
“Te amo, Teo. ¿Tú lo sabes? Te amo mucho más de lo que podrías saber. Te amaré pase lo que pase”
Luis couldn’t tell who he was talking to at this point; Matteo or himself. But it didn’t matter either way. His words rung truer than anything that had ever come out of his mouth.
Luis had spent so much of his life lying. He’d spent so much of it running and selling his soul to the highest bidder that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to be so open and vulnerable with someone.
His Grandfather’s cottage, Valdelobos, Umbrella, Los Illuminados; The names blended together in his mind at this point.
He’d spent too long running.
He found out what a true chance at life looked like and it looked like Leon, Chris and Matteo.
Every stereotype and throwaway comment that Luis heard about how staring at your baby is like ‘Love at first sight’ was so unbelievably true; Luis just wished he could express his love in a way his beautiful boy could understand.
But Matteo still remained awake. His tears had almost come to a complete halt with Luis’ soft words, but he was still staring up at his dad with those big, sleepless, curious brown eyes; it made Luis chuckle.
“No puedo dormir, ¿Oye? Yo tampoco puedo…”
Luis hummed thoughtfully for a moment, methodically running his thumb across Matteo’s soft, thin brown hair before coming up with an idea. He smiled at the thought alone, and almost felt his heart leap out of his throat when Matteo half-smiled back.
Luis began to rock Matteo back and forth as he began to sing a song he just barely remembered his Grandfather singing to him when he was just a boy;
“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,
Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón,”
Luis smiled as Matteo began to quietly babble in response, holding him even closer.
“Este niño mío que nació de noche
Quiere que lo lleve a pasear en coche.”
Matteo reached out his tiny hands to grasp at Luis’ stubble, running his fingers over the hair as his little eyes began to droop lower and lower. It took all of Luis’ energy not to grab his face and squeeze him with a million kisses right then and there.
“Este niño mío que nació de día quiere que lo lleve a la dulcería,”
Luis let his eyes flutter shut as Matteo yawned and lulled his head to the side. Tiny even breaths let the brunette know that his Son had fallen asleep- Yet he kept singing, determined to finish the song. Just like his Grandfather always would.
“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,
Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón.”
Once the lullaby had softly ended, Luis just stood there. Cradling Matteo in his arms silently. The only light source being from the small, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Not a single creak could be heard, in sharp comparison to just a moment ago. The loudest noise in that room were Matteo’s tiny breaths.
Luis didn’t want to let go. Leon and Chris teased him about it all the time, but he truly, truly didn’t want to part with his beautiful boy. He didn’t want this moment to end. A moment that felt so precious and so loving that Luis knew he was bound to remember it for years to come.
Luis wanted to protect Matteo with his whole world- he knew it was unrealistic, and that eventually, his Son would grow up to be his very own person- but that didn’t mean the need wasn’t still there. Luis had seen things that no single human being should have ever experienced, and yet his own baby crying was somehow worse than all of that combined. He never wanted to see Matteo cry again. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and shelter him from anything that could ever hurt him.
Just like his Grandfather had for Luis all those years ago.
That was almost entirely the reason Luis had approached Leon and Chris about the idea of having a child in the first place;
He wanted to be just like his Grandfather.
It was strange. The older he got, the less he remembered of the man- yet the more he missed him like a child. Luis thought about him quite often. And even more so now that he was a father himself.
In retrospect, his Grandfather was hardly there in his life for a very long time. He was only ten- maybe twelve at the most- years old when he had died. Yet Luis remembered as clear as day the way his knees trembled and his fists balled up hard enough for his fingernails to be imprinted onto his palms when he watched his childhood home burst into flames. He stared at that fire until it was nothing but ashes in the morning, quite literally.
Luis had gone through all the stages of grief a million times over. He used to be mad at his Grandfather for hiding that wolf’s bite that inevitably lead him to becoming sick; he used to resent him, in fact, insisting that his work as a biologist would be enough to reprimand it.
Luis used to beg for his Grandfather to come back- and, hell, he still sometimes did. He still cried like the grief was fresh, and he still found constant solace and comfort in Leon and Chris’ arms.
Luis remembered nothing but good things about his Grandfather.
He remembered how the two of them would go fishing on warm afternoons.
How he’d make him tomato soup every night after dinner.
He remembered how wise and intricate his words seemed to seven-year-old-Luis, when in actuality, he was just speaking fancy English.
He remembered how his Grandfather still encouraged his Trans identity and love for Biology despite their circumstances.
He remembered how he’d encouraged Luis’ fantasies surrounding Don Quixote- how he’d recreate the fantastical scenes and read him every version of the books under the sun back-to-front just so he could fall asleep.
Hell, Luis still kept an old copy of Don Quixote in Matteo’s room just for good luck; him and his two partners had even agreed on the name for their baby after seeing the name ‘Matteo’ in the credits of a Don Quixote adaptation and finding it stuck. Luis hoped someday he’d be able to read his favorite book ever to Teo and he’d enjoy just as much as he did.
When Luis said he wanted to be a father;
What he really meant was he wanted to be like his Grandfather.
He wanted to give that same undying love and affection to another person. He wanted to be his Son’s hero and somebody who could protect him from anything.
He wanted to be there for Matteo in a way his Grandfather never could before he died;
He wanted to watch Matteo grow up and live a full life.
Just like how his Grandfather always wanted.
Luis wanted to be there for Matteo right until the very end.
Luis wanted to be just like his Grandfather for Matteo. He wanted to make him proud.
“Te quiero mucho, Teo. También habrías amado a mí Abuelo.”
Luis hadn't even noticed he’d begun crying, let alone the quiet footsteps from behind him until a small knock on the door allerted him to another presence in the room. He was forced out of his forehead-touching position with Matteo to look around and see Leon leaning against the doorframe; his appearance tired and disheveled with a soft smile still on his face.
“How’s Teo?”
“He’s good,” Luis smiled, whispering lightly.
“I just got him back to sleep.”
Leon made his way to Luis’ side and cupped his Son’s head with one hand, leaning down to press a gentle, cautious kiss on his head.
Luis’ eyes never broke away from Teo’s face, even as Leon leaned his head against his shoulder. The brunette reciprocated, feeling his partner let out a sigh of relief.
“Where’s Chris?”
Luis broke the silence, desperate for some conversation. He felt like he was about to burst into tears if he didn’t talk soon.
“He’s staying with the Winter’s tonight, remember?”
The brunette just hummed at Leon’s response. Ethan Winters; the name sounded familiar. He was pretty sure they were expecting a child soon, too. Chris seemed to be very protective over him; Which seemed deserved after what he heard they’d been through. Luis hoped he’d get to meet them someday.
Another beat of silence.
“…Luis?”
Leon finally spoke up, his voice soft; as if their tender moment was made of porcelain.
“…Are you Ok?”
“I’m fine.” Luis was quick to answer. Too quick. Leon gave him that look and his partner was forced to relent, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. If he wasn’t smiling, he’d probably be crying.
“I will be fine,”
Luis corrected himself. Leon always knew when something was up, and Luis didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to try to lie. He wore his heart on his sleeve in his old age.
“I’m just… I don’t know. Difícul de explicar. Words don’t seem to cut it.”
“I understand.” Was all Leon said in response, snuggling further into the crook of his neck as his hand remained on Teo’s head.
Luis was grateful Leon didn’t try to pry further.
The silence between them, however, was too much for Luis to bear. To keep himself from breaking down and potentially waking Matteo up, he gave his Son one last kiss on the forehead- letting it linger for a couple moments- before slipping him back into his cot and pulling the up blankets over him.
‘Buenes noches, niño hermoso”
He whispered, running the pad of his thumb against his cheeks for a beat before he reluctantly pried himself away from his sleeping Son.
The second he turned around to face Leon, it was like all of the night's anxieties and grief caught up to him in an instant; his body suddenly felt like lead and his eyes stung with tears.
He could barely make out Leon’s expression in the darkness, but he knew from gut instinct alone that it was one of sympathy.
“L-Leon…?”
Luis whimpered, his lips quivering as his eyes welled up.
“D-Do you think my Grandfather w-would be proud of me…?”
Leon’s posture softened in an instant.
“Oh, Luis…”
Luis couldn’t hold it together much longer; he collapsed into Leon’s arms in an instant, feeling awfully small and vulnerable as he cried silently into his partner's shoulder. He could hear Leon murmur some reassuring words from above him, but he couldn’t make them out; the blondes chin rested atop his head as his arms squeezed him tight, rocking Luis back-and-fourth in an attempt to soothe him.
Luis, ironically, felt a little bit like how Teo must’ve been feeling just a moment ago.
“You wanna know something, Luis?”
Leon finally said loud enough for him to hear, pulling away just slightly so he could cup Luis’ face in his hands; wiping away the tears from his cheeks.
“Your Grandfather would be so, so proud of you. I know that for a fact. He would be over the moon for you”
“B-but w-w-what if I’m n-not doing e-enough for T-Teo? I-I j-just w-wanna be like m-mí A-Abuelo..-“
“You’re doing more than enough, Luis. You’re going so above and beyond you have no idea. Listen to me,”
Leon grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact.
“You’re not alone. You understand? You have us. And if your Grandfather were still alive, he would be by your side and telling you what an incredible job you’re doing. You are the best Father, understood? Your Grandfather would be so proud of you.”
That was enough for Luis to break down into tired, open-mouthed sobs against Leon’s chest. The two of them had to return to their own bedroom to keep Matteo from waking up; But it was worth it.
Luis stayed curled up against Leon for the entire night, having his hair combed through by his partner's hands as he cried against his shirt.
Luis eventually fell asleep. And for the first time in quite a while, he actually had a decent night's sleep.
He had Leon. He had Chris, and he had Matteo.
He promised to himself that he would make his Grandfather proud.
He would be a good Father to Teo. He would do anything for his beautiful boy.
And nothing in the world could ever change that.
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thelonesomequeen · 1 year ago
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Here is a master post of some of your asks. A lot of you had commentary to add after the newest DM podcast and I did get to some asks, but I wanted to make a space to post all opinions that we received. Below are anon submissions, not the commentary from moderators of this blog.
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I have a hard time believing the narrative of his family not liking her but inviting her to all the family events, parties and more./ Anon is forgetting is that in some of those events, Chris was probably the one paying the bill. So she will go and they will say nothing.
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How is Chris rushing to get married? They've been together long enough that I wouldn't call this rushing. I hope it all works out for him. My husband and I had people we were close to doubt our marriage, and it sucked. Every time we've hit a rough patch, I've wondered about the "I told you so's" we would get if it all fell apart. But we're still together almost two decades later, and counseling has been really helpful for both of us and the marriage. So, I say good luck to Chris and Alba. I wish them the best. I wouldn't want them to have to go through the pain of a divorce.
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Man I don’t get this. Even if he is rushing to get married, why are y’all acting like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a 40 year old man, i’m sure he’s not forcing himself to get married just to be a husband. And i’m sure he’ll get a pre-nup because he hasn’t been in the industry for 20+ years and built up a career by being an idiot. They way some of y’all infantilize him is just insane. I don’t even care for Alba but y’all are acting like she hasn’t had multiple opportunities to use him for money. She could’ve easily gotten pregnant and gotten child support if she wanted instead of living in bumfuck Massachusetts for a year and going through a whole possible marriage. You know how much hate she would get if she divorced him and took his money. Even the five Chris fans who like her now are gonna hate her even more. There are valid reasons to dislike her, but this one just doesn’t stick.
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Ok so if some people in this fandom are gonna believe that his family doesn’t like her, they will have believe that they’re engaged to be married right? Or are they gonna pick and choose the info to believe that best fits their theories.
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I don’t know I just find it hard to believe what dm said about his family. Some of them might not love her but maybe to tolerate her instead of outright dislike. But still I have doubts because he’s so close with his family especially his mother. Plus his best friend of several years seems to like her too. I just don’t think he’ll marry someone when his family doesn’t like her. This also reminds me a lot of what someone said during the Jenny days that his mom didn’t like her either.
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Who in this fandom is happy about the current state of things? Literally no one.// please don’t speak so broadly for everyone! I for one am okay with the relationship (I don’t think Alba is problematic at all- her friends are a different matter), I am very happy he found love and wish them both the best. The only current “state of things” I am unhappy about is the way some parts of the fandom is behaving: the hateful nicknames, the internalized misogyny, the hate based lies, the xenophobia.😞😒
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So why is he marrying her if his family don’t approve?/// My apologies for the light snark but: are you kidding?! You have to be joking?! Irrelevant of his reasons, so what if his family MAYBE doesn’t approve, it’s his life not theirs! Do you live your life based on your family approval over any decisions? College? Career? Love interest?- if you do I feel deeply sad for you. You live your life for you; family advice can be taken into consideration but not dictating it. & He’s online that’s why!
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cause she was 21/22 when he followed her, right? 😬 yikes)// she was 23, and he followed a bunch of other actresses all working for Netflix too, so it’s clear as day the follow wasn’t romantic but likely work related, and likely and unintentionally it eventually turned romantic. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants 🤷‍♀️ we don’t have control over who we fall in love with, they’re both legal, she was in her mid 20 she’s old enough. Plenty of high age difference marriage in Hollywood.
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Okay so it seems as though (to me) he’s rushing to get married // rushing? How is dating someone for over a year and being engaged for nearly a year, getting married after being together for over 2 years is a “rushing”?! That’s the standard timeline for many couples I have ever met. They say you know within the first 6 months it you’re in love and if this is the person for you.. sounds to me he knew and acted upon it. Rushing would be if they eloped within a week or even 5 months, that’s rushing
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I think it could be the rushing into it, but he very obviously wants kids and it's always risky to have kids with a partner that potentially will live overseas if the marriage ends. I hope he is at least thinking about that. I mean Chris has money she doesn't, but custody could turn ugly. I would definitely be worried about that if I was a family member.
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For what we know he was seeing/hooking up with other girls before Alba so if that Taxi cab theory was the case why Alba and not the rest?
Also someone that desperate wouldn’t wait 2 years to get married and have kids I don’t know just my two cents 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I don't think there may be issues if she decides to stay home and put her career on hold to have children or just follow him around, like she seems to be doing now. The age difference, expectations in life, cultural difference will enter sooner or later. I don't see this lasting.
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But…I give it a handful of years maybe? I think it’ll get to a point where the age difference isn’t an issue now, but I think it will be eventually
I think he very much wants kids so I can absolutely see them having one or two, staying together to try and make stuff work for them but eventually divorcing. That’s not really saying much considering divorce isn’t exactly uncommon these days.
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Real or not, I agree that it is likely his family is a bit disappointed in his choice. Maybe not Scott, but his mom and sisters seem pretty down to earth and grounded. I doubt they would approve of the age gap or the character of who he chose. After waiting for so long, it is sad to see who he finally picked.
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That man loves his family and I don’t think he will marry anyone that they don’t approve of imo
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Watching them fixating on the part that some of his family members “don’t like her”
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mmvixen · 2 years ago
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Thoughts on Ep 7-8 (Mostly 8) of The Eighth Sense
I’m not one to post, but omg, the eighth sense is too good. First of all, we all knew that JiHyun was alive because it’s not the end and there were some streaks of light and little hints here and there of his survival. The light is such a JiHyun thing, like did y’all see that literal singular spot light on the bar table when him and Yoon Pyo sat at it? It was meant for JiHyun.
There’s definitely some guesses we could make as to why JaeWon is ignoring JiHyun and we know it’s more than one; it could be that JaeWon believes that every time he finds a safe “refuge” in a person, they end up dead or seriously hurt, so he believes in a sense that he is dangerous. It could be that he believes the world is against him and happiness isn’t something he is allowed to have, or maybe authenticity and living a life that would be more genuine to him isn’t something he’s allowed to have. And with the scare of the accident and the fear of him being the reason JiHyun got hurt (even though he forgets he’s also the one that saved JiHyun), the rumors of something “strange” going on between the two because they went on a trip also scares him back into the role of straight guy who is the envy of the university because he’s perfect and is supposed to have the most popular friends and the perfect girlfriend.
That might also be a part of why, even though he already explained previously, why he didn’t like Yoon Won because she’s not the typical person that would be popular; personality wise she’s just doesn’t fit the mold that the directors have made for the more “popular” people. (Stan Yoon Won though, she’s the realest)
But I digress. Moving on to Tae Hyung and Eun Ji, how fucking insensitive can you be? Would they have acted the same if JiHyun had actually died? The amount of human indecency I witnessed from their attitude is appalling. I understand being upset about the surfing club status and the fact that neither are close to JiHyun, but they knew him and that should be enough to give consideration and empathy for him because he was seriously and almost fatally hurt. Not only that, but the FOUL comment Tae Hyung made, let’s just be glad JaeWon didn’t kill him. Thankfully, AeRi stood up for him and was there, we literally stan a bestie, she’s the bestest.
Aside from that, THE ABSOLUTE CHANGE IN DEMEANOR FROM JIHYUN OMGGGG. The SASS?? EXCUSE ME? He’s standing up for him, not taking shit, being sarcastic, playful, but keeping his boundaries, being true to himself, and living genuinely authentic. His skin! Anyone else notice that he used to be so pale but now he’s actually more tan and he looks so healthy and happy to be alive, like he’s living finally! Yes, before he was pretty true to himself and did as he wanted, but there was also something holding him back, and fear had to do with it. After the accident, it’s like he’s been released from all fear cause he went through the most scary thing (in the opinion of the general public): almost losing his life, almost dying. He’s not reserved anymore, he’s speaking his mind, he’s going for what he wants, and he’s living completely! He’s doing things that you don’t expect from him like speaking in front of disciplinary executives and telling the truth about the situation. Of course he would stand up for JaeWon, but at the same time, from reserved JiHyun, you wouldn’t expect him to be so firm in his stance or so direct about it. The change had me completely caught off guard, but I absolutely love it and wish to follow in his footsteps. JiHyun did that! He is that bitch and he is slaying.
Oh! And let’s not forget the fact that he said he’s going to collect his man’s after telling Yoon Pyo about having a crush on JaeWon. (And we stan bestie acceptance and support!!) Like sir??? Who are you? Did you-did you just say he is mine and will be mine?? Did you just say the sneaky little bitch can keep her paws off of JaeWon?? (Ooo she pisses me off so bad smh.)
I could literally go on and on about how JiHyun had been acting in ep 8, but let’s switch gears back to JaeWon because boy is struggling! The things he said to JiHyun (I really was about to start the kill JaeWon initiative for hurting the baby, but we’ll give him a pass this time 👀 ) , the way he’s been staring off, the way he sits depressed and low energy, the way he just kind of goes along with Eun Ji even though he still doesn’t like her, the way he seems to have given up. It’s so unfortunate and makes me think that he is being so hard on himself for the accident. He really, truly believes he’s the reason JiHyun got hurt and the result of that is him believing that he doesn’t deserve a “refuge” or a release or anyone to help him do so because it hurts those he loves and if he has to suffer just to keep JiHyun safe, then he’s willing to do it. Even the tone he used when talking to his therapist when saying that he made the relationship deeper and it ended up with JiHyun hurt, it sounded so…self deprecating, almost like he was actually saying, “God, you idiot! You knew better than to do that and now another person you love is hurt, good job!” It’s so sad to see him like that and to see him denying himself of the fulfilling love, pleasure, safety, warmth, and light he could have makes it even worse. Both JiHyun and JaeWon are down bad for each other, but while one accepts it as it is, the other sinks in fear of what consequences could come of it.
Omg, lightbulb!! A switch y’all! It’s the switch! JiHyun is now, pretty much, fearless while JaeWon is so fearful that he’s stopping what will inevitably happen because JiHyun is dead set on fighting for his man despite what he said at the end of episode eight. Even though it was a front for JaeWon and it isn’t for JiHyun, the comparison of the personalities in the beginning to now is definitely there! I love this series so much because really you can analyze it all you want and also just enjoy the surface level and face value of drama and romance it goes through, it’s so multifaceted!
Okay, I’m going to end here because this is way too long and I didn’t mean to get so into it, but yeah, please let me know your thoughts and what you’ve thought of and if I’ve made you think more about something!!!
PS: Anyone else notice the little rainbow on JiHyun’s face when he was sitting up and talking to AeRi on the field? To angle the camera and get the light to reflect so it would make that is absolute genius!! It’s like a symbol for how he’s embracing himself and fully accepting himself! It was so beautiful 🥹🫶🌈
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the-corset-witch · 2 years ago
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I honestly just have to vent about this Monday, y’all.  (started typing this and get a dang text “will you look into this tomorrow”) After vent I will hopefully be ready to do these 2 paid readings and my paid readings inbox will be completely empty and I can come back to my freebies! Because they’re just 1 card each I get a lot of them done in a fairly short amount of time & it honestly really boosts my ego because it makes me feel HELLA productive, y’all get my vibe? Yea, I miss doing them, selfish reasons there.
Vent will be under the cut, to ykno.... be kind :|
SO what happen was man, fuck, jesus, just fuck, this day, lordy, this day.  The basic info you need to understand this rant is cast, location, and frustration.  Cast includes JP (Bossman, English, Colonizer), M (Finance Dept, she n jp fuck, i call it what it is which is sexual harassment on his part), L ( ♥ friend ♥ ), D (Photographer for products, handles amazon/online orders), and the new, literally this is her second Monday, uhhhh... I don’t even know her last name.  We’ll call her NewGirl for her anonymity. Her name starts with a D too, so also not trying to be rude there, to the point.  
So we show up, I’m late (and the oldest, what a splendid example I set), and despite D having the most time at this company, I am kind of the senior staff member because I am the only one that understands the full day-to-day. About thirty minutes in we get what could constitute as our Morning Meeting, just Via Text. After this I help NewGirl with her phone, help her open the call log, help her figure out how to take an order, etc etc etc.  I am basically giving this girl (woman, actually, I will learn at the end of this day she is 29) all her training she should have possibly gotten Day 1? or Day 2. The reason I am back is because the woman who took over my position went out in a blaze of F Bombs (Gina, if we ever meet, please let me shake your hand and let me buy you a beverage, please) and that happened on NewGirl (its shorter, easier, sorry) first day, which was last Monday. Straight into the fire, but she seems to pick up ezpz, doin great!  But into the rant, away from how this sweet woman does not deserve what this job will do to her.
So in our “morning meeting” texts...  JP says he has “authorized overtime until 8pm” and after making sure that D & NewGirl took their lunches (I worked thru mine cos if I miss a call JP will be up my fucking ass, he’s a delight like that) I bring this up separately to them.  NewGirl kinda laughs with me and is like “Yea I have to leave by 5:30, I have plans.” and I was like “Yea, and he acts like I don’t operate my own business.” D & I do eventually decide to stay until 6, but yea, I got a life to live that isn’t this job. 
When D & I are alone for those maybe thirty minutes alone, ohhh the goss.  D is the only person who would have been firmly out of the loop of my leaving, he would have had only the information that JP would have given him, so to really shed some light on what went down and how really fucked it was, oh a pleasure! And this is when I learned that D, an educated man (youngest in the office, but still grown!) is making $15... as in, the least of everyone in the office. Like...  What. No.  Not correct, not right, no sir, no sir. 
So now here I am as we walk out telling this guy about five years younger than me all about where to find information on his worker rights, to save the websites into his phone, look up anything that seems fishy. 
I am just... I want to blow this place up, I feel like Toot from the end of Season 1 of Drawn Together.  Biding my time, playing along, but I want to blow it up. I want to educate every person secretly on their rights, on what to look for, and eventually, I want the complaints to TWC/EEOC to just destroyyyyyy this fucker.
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toointojoelmiller · 1 year ago
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^Me trying to put my thoughts on this into words
Okay prepare for massive amounts of copium:
A lot of people struggle with the difference between Part 1 Ellie and Part 2 Ellie.. I don’t. I wish she was happier lol don’t get me wrong (if I had my way it would be J+E + moon ranch forever), but to me the contrast between Part 1 and Part 2 Ellie is unfortunately a pretty natural progression…
Part 1, despite the devastating ending, is a HOPEFUL story – it’s really about Joel finding his reason for living again, and loving Ellie. Ellie is the light – literally the hope – that leads him out of the darkness. She’s also fourteen, and we see her through Joel’s sort of lens and we are always being reminded of her youth. She’s got this “mission” (making a cure, making her immunity mean something other than she survived when her bet friend/girlfriend died) that is guiding her and keeping her steady despite all of the attachment trauma and grief she is struggling with that should really bog her down more than it does (and of course, it eventually does, once her mission comes crashing down). I think this is well represented in Part 1 and in the HBO series, even though the versions of Ellie are slightly different.
Part 2 is about what comes next, because love is never enough. It’s about how life is painful and messy, and how sometimes that is BECAUSE of what love does to us... and how you can’t love ever without it ending in grief… and in particular, just how destructive the pain of loss can be when your ONE PERSON is gone. Ellie’s different because she’s grown – her dream of a cure is dead – the world is just a lot darker, at 19 vs 14. Joel loving Ellie with all of his heart wasn’t enough to keep her from getting hurt by the world (just like in real life, no matter how much parents love their kids bad shit WILL happen to them, and life WILL punch them in the face like it does for all of us). Joel loving Ellie so unconditionally and giving her love was more than she knew how to handle, really, (orphan things), and she can’t understand his “betrayal” for what it is – an act of love. When he’s gone she is LOST, and ends up modelling exactly what she learned from him… fall apart. Take out your enemies. Make people suffer for what happened to the person you love.
So, to ME – the progression of Ellie’s relationship with violence feels pretty natural.
Here’s why I don’t personally take issue with the violent heart bit they added to the HBO show -
I feel like (pretend) Craig and Neil suck at explaining themselves LOL.
Ellie in Part 1, due to the world she has grown up in and her experiences, is at risk of engaging with violence as a coping/trauma sort of response thing. Gives her control in a fucked up world. Lets her protect her people. Just like Joel. They live in a world that basically requires violence from you – otherwise you and people you love will die. And Ellie knows that – she saw it first hand, killing Riley. And all of the violence and death that came after.
I know Craig made that comment saying “David’s right”. The way I take it is not, “David is right, she is a violent person” or “she loves to hurt people”… I take it as David recognized how Ellie has a fighters/survivors heart – and that means she is CAPABLE of great violence. Which not everyone is!! (Hence how Joel and Ellie are our bamf anti heroes). To David, violence is always a justified thing if it leads to you getting your goal, and he looks at people as either worthy of living in this world (fighters/leaders) or not (sheep). So he sees Ellie as “a violent person” with a “violent heart”. He’s a monster, and he isn’t capable of understanding the relationship Ellie (and Joel) have with violence, where it is born out of LOVE and suffering and loss. There’s a difference there that David totally misses. But his comment about her proclivity to “violence”, not too far off the mark imo.
Super curious to hear if any of y’all agree or disagree w me.
YES I AM COPING HARD WITH THIS. LIFE SINCE PART 2 IS NOTHING BUT A COPE.
massive TLOU 2 spoilers
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I hate this “violent heart” shit. Apparently, Ellie seeing Joel brutally tortured and murdered while she is held down and forced to watch is not enough to explain her murderous rampage in TLOU 2. They have to tell us she’s also doing it because because she’s irrevocably, uniquely fucked up and violent. And who is the person to deliver this message? The pedophile that tried to rape and murder her. So will David be vindicated in season 2? It seems like he already kinda was. Yes, Ellie brutally killing him was supposed to show she’s fucked up and violent. Chop a pedophile up a bit more than necessary because you are traumatized, terrified, disassociating, and desperate for it all to stop? Sorry hun that’s really fucked up I guess you really do have a violent heart. I’m glad we had the illuminating words of a serial groomer rapist cannibal pedophile cult leader to tell us our protagonist is a bitch. In a story where we’re supposed to have empathy for the characters, one of them gets labeled as “violent” as if they’re demented. The creators said this “violent heart” stuff was meant to set up Ellie’s arc in s2/the 2nd game so wtf??? I hate to be pessimistic but it really seems like the writers are steering the show towards an “Ellie proved David right” moment.
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gxnic · 3 years ago
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general kento nanami headcanons
cw: gn! reader. there’s nsfw stuff but that’s separate from the sfw stuff
a/n: hey y’all, so this is my first *real* post here on tumblr. i’ve written fanfic b4 and have posted it before (albeit i’ve deleted everything i’ve ever posted fanfic wise) but i’ve never posted on tumblr! i wrote a small drabble and posted it to test the waters and that’s about it. since this is where i read most of my fanfic i figured lol why not writing is one of the casual hobbies i’ve always had anyways. about the headcanons, ive seen the jujutsu kaisen volume 0 movie three times already and it hasn’t even been out for a week, so i’m in a jujutsu kaisen writing mood. i have a nice one shot planned for both yuji and gojo (separately. obviously.) so if u want u can look forward to that, but for now i thought i’d start off lighter. hope u enjoy! :)
masterlist
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sfw
ok so
starting off strong
coming from a plus size woman herself anybody who’s ever said nanami wouldn’t like a plus size partner is completely fucking wrong????
like omfg
he would love the feeling of your soft body in contrast up against his hard and rough muscles
this man definitely tries to live a healthy lifestyle. work out regularly, eat healthy, the whole shebang
however he’s the type of man who finds it extremely classy when somebody isn’t afraid to indulge in the simple pleasures of life
and he just wants u to be happy while doing it
don’t get me wrong he would encourage u to be healthier but when u ask if that was his way of trying to politely say you need to lose weight he would be genuinely flabbergasted bc no that’s not what he meant at all that thought literally never even crossed his mind he just wants you to be healthy and live a long life
doesn’t mean he won’t also indulge himself with u tho lmaoooo
like i feel like he acts all committed to this super strict diet and routine but in reality he doesn’t stick to it that often regardless of the fact he feels like he should bc life is short who cares? certainly not nanami
anyway pls never talk negatively abt ur body bc he will ask why it even matters every single time before complimenting u cause ain’t no way ur ever gonna talk badly abt urself and him just let it slide
long story short no matter what ur body looks like he thinks ur beautiful like weight ≠ beauty in his mind
anyway on a completely unrelated note
he snores lolllllll like rly loud
and he sweats in his sleep a lot too idc
it’s cute tho
blanket stealer too and when u guys wake up and u tell him he was hogging the blankets in his sleep he gets all embarrassed and won’t look u in the eye and denys it even tho he knows he does it he just can’t admit it
which usually isn’t that big of an issue cause y’all are glued together in your sleep anyways
cuddling alllll the time deadass
he always likes the air conditioning to be set pretty cold D:
like he’s definitely the kind of person who knows immediately if someone changes the temperature even one degree
he’s a good cook tooooo omg
for some reason i feel like he excels at italian food don’t ask me why i don’t know
like nanami would make the most fire pasta
but yeah he’s a good cook
he’s also rly flexible
i mean for the record think of what he has to do for his job of course he’s flexible
but he in particular is super flexible like he can do all that cool contortionist shit if he tried (which he won’t cause he’d be too embarrassed)
also he spoils u
like duh that much is obvious ofc nanami spoils his s/o but like….
yeah he totally spoils u.
he’s not really a religious dude tbh
like if ur religious that’s cool he’ll accept that he’s not gonna shame u and he’ll happily listen to u talk about it
but most of the time he’d just rather talk about something else
most of the time he’s just calling you by your first name but on the rare occasion when he does call u a pet name that’s when u know he’s feeling affectionate and wants ur attention
he doesn’t call u very many pet names either he’ll call you “sweetheart” the most, “beautiful” too and also maybe “darling” on the days he’s feeling extra affectionate
like it’s super easy to tell when he wants to just say f everything and be all over you
he doesn’t rly like pda so he’s super touchy at home
he likes to hug you from behind
his favorite cuddling positions either consist of him being the big spoon or him laying down on your chest
like i can see after a rly long day he wants nothing more than to come home get dressed comfortably and crash right on top of you laying his head in ur chest and putting his arms around you and feeling your hands through his hair
he would find the rhythm of your breathing and your heartbeat very comforting
especially after the horrors he’s forced to witness on a daily basis
you’re a comforting reminder that he’s alive
he’s just really obvious with how much he loves you
like even b4 y’all got together it was really obvious he thought he was super badass and hid it rly well tho LOLLL spoiler alert he didn’t
the thing that sold it the most pre your relationship was the way you’d always feel and catch his eyes glued to you
+++ it’s not easy to fluster nanami, but considering even the simplest of gestures from you turned his face and ears pink? yeah duh ofc he likes u
he tries to cover his face when he blushes too but he’s rly bad at it LOL like he’ll put his hand over his mouth and extend his thumb and fingers over his cheeks to try and hide the redness but it never works
like he’ll stay composed but his body’s reactions give it all away
hear me out i feel like he’d like a friendly talkative s/o
like maybe not somebody who’s as eccentric as gojo 24/7…
but definitely somebody who’s lively as long as they know when to be serious and is capable of remaining composed in a situation that calls for it
he would appreciate it to no end if you were able to get him to lighten up a little and be less of the stick-in-the-mud that he knows he is
he’s the slow dance with you in your kitchen in your pajamas type guy
but honestly no matter who u are
just one glance at u and he’s smiling to himself thinking abt how in love with u he is
you’re his biggest motivation, after all, and no matter how long the two of you are together you never stop giving him butterflies
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nsfw
oof oof oof oof oof
oh to engage in the devils tango with this man
whenever mappa animates him loosening or taking off his tie it’s always so focused on and detailed like whatchu tryna say huh?
yeah he ties your wrists together with his tie lolllll
like ok listen
i don’t think he’s sex dungeon level kinky
but i also don’t think he’s completely vanilla either
he’ll blindfold u, tie ur wrists together, maybe your ankles if he’s rly feeling it
he can be reallyyyyyyy rough too
generally he tries to be gentle but if he’s ever really pent up or angry or frustrated abt something he wants to rid himself of that anger in a healthy way and sexual release is a go to for him
those are the circumstances where he’ll be rougher with u
he usually apologizes after though
and if u were the one to ask him to be rougher he’ll do so with pleasure but he’ll definitely still seek reassurance afterwards and ask you if what he did was to your satisfaction
he’s generally the more dominant one
he likes obedience
he’s okay with you taking the lead too but he prefers if it’s nothing too extreme
he feels bad asking u but god he loves getting sucked off so much :(<3 sweet baby
especially after work when he’s feeling especially exhausted and he’s had a bad day and he’s lazing around he loves nothing more than some good ass head and then cuddling to sleep
he’s a giver too don’t think anything less
he’s always between your thighs before he’s actually inside of you whether it’s his mouth or his fingers
he’s cool with using toys on you too, he actually really likes it
he doesn’t see sex toys as a threat he sees them as his best friend god healthy masculinity is so hot
u can use ur imagination to think about how he’d use them on u >:)
also nanami isn’t a one night stand guy
like hear me out i don’t think he sees sex as some crazy sacred act or anything
it won’t take all that long after you guys get together for him to be okay with dicking you down
but he doesn’t fuck anybody he’s not in a stable relationship with
meaning that, yeah, he isn’t a virgin, but he probably has some awkward first time story with somebody he slept with once and since then he’s only slept with one other person he was in a relationship with
like… he has experience, but not a lot of it
don’t get me wrong tho his stroke game is crazy
he 100% puts in the effort to figure out what you specifically like and don’t like
it’s definitely always a focus of his to first and foremost please you
he teases u but also praises u
like full on degradation? no not his style
but teasing yesssssss he loves it he loves seeing you squirm from just his words
like god just imagine his chest up against your back with his arms running down your sides and hips while he’s whispering teases into your neck goddddd i wish i wish
he also likes it when u scratch up his back hehe
he likes it when you leave marks on him and he leaves marks on you in places people can’t see
he doesn’t think it’s classy when people walk around with hickeys and such on full display however knowing he has marks/you have marks on your bodies that only the two of you know about is something that turns him on
also, if you’re fem bodied, he’s a hardcore tits man. i will die by this.
boobs in his face yesssssssss
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cleostoohot · 2 years ago
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So Basically I am Into Law Of Assumption From October 2021 and In that Period I manifested nothing(Bcs I never put in work) But On 7 July 2022 I started Doing (3DolcxROEx12 Hours Challenge{In Which I affirmed 10 Times Instead of 30 For Every hour} ) I did this For Complete 4 And Half Day And In This Period I kept My Thoughts In Check I didn't let Myself Spiral,Waiver,React to 3D For This Complete Period But still I didn't saw Result WHY ?? And I was Affirming for whole 3 weeks that I get full subliminal result In Just 1 listen and Even this Period I kept my Thoughts In check and Whenever I thought its not working I told myself its working But still after persisting this Long I didn't saw result In My 3D Why?? And In This Period I was complete Delusional and I didn't even gave Fuck to 3D But Still I got 0 result Why ?? And If Law Is Real Then why I didn't got result and If Its Not plss tell me 😞
My Affirmation Was :-
ROE,I manifest In 1 hour or less than that
ROE,I always wakeup Into Void State
ROE,I always Get Into void state by just saying Icecream 3 time
[This All Was My Affirmation.I am telling This Bcs If There Is Some Prblm In My affirmation and Just You should get Over all view of my Condition]
i’m so sick of you guys asking me CLEO WHY WHY WHY isn’t my manifestation here WHY is it taking me long WHY do other people do it easier than i do WHY is this not working WHY are you asking meeeee? if all you need to manifest is yourself, all your answers is within yourself too. i am not you. i can’t tell you what you did wrong when you tell me the bare minimum at that. you guys be doing nothing but obsess, doubt, waver, then when you find a new technique and it doesn’t work within a few days you still obsess, doubt, and waver????? if doing that shit didn’t help you the first time then how can it help you the next time? or the time after that????? then you tb some “iF tHe lAw iS ReAL”……… it’s fucking lifeeeeee. is your life real? YES. stop looking at the law of assumption as some magical new thing just because you discovered it some months ago. it’s BEEN real since you were born. like jesus christ’s 80% of my inbox is y’all asking me where your manifestation is like i got air tags on them bitches i do not fucking knowww. i made a posts giving possible reasons based on my experience, that’s all i can tell you luvv. like i understand y’all just want the best for y’all selves and want to live your dream life but that all starts with you taking accountability for your actions. go back to square 1 if you have to. work on how you view yourself, work on how you view your relationship with the law, then get your mf desires. stop acting like all of this shit is out of your control because it’s the complete opposite. you are controlling everything.
and this goes for everybody who has asked me “where is my manifestation” in any way shape or form in the past & for yall who’s gonna ask me in the future since y’all seem to not actually take in the information i and other bloggers put out to help y’all and just jump into our inbox with questions we all ready damn answered.
& i get passionate with stuff like this because it literally took ME finally telling myself enough is enough in order to start getting exactly what i wanted. coaches or other people weren’t doing shit but just answering my basic ass questions that i already knew the answered to. i just wanted reassurance. i had to lift myself up out of that cycle, and place myself into a new cycle of constant manifestations. do the same. if i can it’s completely possible.
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melis-writes · 3 years ago
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*just wanted to get this off my chest about our beloved al pacino... 💞
i think a majority of people don’t understand/know al’s “look”. even in interviews, al’s mentioned that buying clothes was a big deal growing up because he was poor. he’s not obsessed with fashion and doesn’t spend lavish amounts of money on designer clothes (and i love that). he likes to dress comfy and he always has. 
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look at this gorgeous man in a plain, grey hoodie. it’s hot because he’s in his 30s but....
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all of a sudden this is a problem? 😐
yes, in his youth al was definitely in his prime, sexy as hell, but he was also rocking the rugged comfy look then too! even in pictures you can see, especially in regards to his hair style left long.
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(whoever took this picture this close up, THANK YOU OH MY GOD) 
his hair is the same even to this day, it’s just grey. but oh no my bad, he must be “poorly groomed”. dude, everybody gets grey hair when they age. 
al doesn’t dress up like michael corleone all day in his normal life. he’s even always been casual about his hair and clothes but this is ignored in the ‘70s because of his youth. in reality, nothing has changed about al except his age, i mean come on?!?
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i think the amount of ageist and insulting comments against al is so fucking disgusting. more people are concerned about al’s apperance than they should be. everybody ages, everybody gets old. al’s turning 82 this month. the expectation that he needs to look like serpico or frank slade or vincent hanna to this day really needs to stop.
al’s living his best life with his family and friends, still doing what he loves and that’s acting. why is it such a big deal if he wears baggy clothes and sweatpants? he literally always has??? there’s definitely a negative, ageist notion here that people around al’s age must “stink” or not “take care of themselves” because their skin has aged, they aren’t wearing tight fitting designer suits and diamonds, and their hair is grey.
i think people also forget al smoked 2-4 packs of cigarettes a day until the 90s, which causes rapid aging too. for some reason people can’t wrap it around their heads that al doesn’t look the way he did when he was 30. does anyone, when they reach their 80s look like their 30s? why does al wearing comfy, baggy clothes mean he doesn’t take care of himself? even to this day he’s such an incredible actor and i’m so happy he’s still with us.
“i miss the way al looked in the ‘70s” well you just had to be there. literally. 😳 and if al was in his 30s now, he would simply be too powerful.
people find it hard to believe al can date or have a love life at this age too. it’s just one disgusting comment after another about his appearance, his age, to the woman he’s with, etc. 
like damn y’all really hate this man fr but let’s see what your mother looks like real quick. anyway, al sweetie, you’re doing great and we love you. we have no choice but to stan. *mic drop*
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darkcircles4lyfe · 3 years ago
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Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori
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So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 
But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:
Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 
We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:
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And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 
It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.
So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.
Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 
And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.
Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:
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This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.
Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.
He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”).��And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.
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