#i literally heard mariah carey’s all i want for christmas how many times already this month
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whateveriscatchy · 1 year ago
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i wonder if people think we’re joking when we say Filipinos start celebrating Christmas once September hits
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fluffi · 4 years ago
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𝐀𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 | 𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍
pairing: yeonjun x reader
genre: 98% fluff, 2% angst, christmas!au, carolling!au
word count: 1.2k
author’s note: this is day 22 of the christmas moacabin event by @moacabinet! if im going to be honest, not proud of this one, i feel like i could’ve done better with this plot, but regardless, enjoy!
warnings: extremely vague mentions of dog poop
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“So...you must be my caroling partner? Choi Yeonjun, right?” You scanned the familiar boy up and down.
You had volunteered to participate in this year’s caroling event, but you had expected to be placed in a huge group with tons of other people — not stuck with one partner. You hoped that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of your neighbors, and more importantly, Yeonjun.
However, you didn’t mind being stuck with him. Yeonjun was that one dude in school that no one could ever seem to get away from. He was tall, handsome, and his constantly-changing hanging hair just made him all the more mysterious. He was kind, fun, and a social butterfly. The two of you were in the same biology class,  but you had different friend groups, and you only heard his loud life-of-the-party voice before class started.
You didn’t know him, but you were already a simp.
Yeonjun smiled and stuck out his hand. “On the document it says you’re my partner? Y/N L/N right?”
“Mmhm, the list says that we need to go to three houses tonight. You think you can manage?” You squint your eyes as you challenge him. Maybe having just one partner isn’t so bad after all.
“Oh, I’m ready. I just don’t know how you’re going to handle singing next to me.” He smirked back at you. 
Feeling a little flustered, you diverted the topic. “Let’s walk to the first house? My list says it’s Mrs. Kim’s. Ugh, she probably hates me for that dog-poop-on-her-fake-grass accident.” I mean, it's been a year, but we haven’t talked since.
“Don’t worry. I’ll win her over with my vocals.” He trailed behind you as you rolled your eyes and shuffled your way to the first of many houses in the cold night.
“Ah! Y/N! I haven’t seen you in so long! The last time we met...hm...was it that one time Pokie pooped in my front yard?” Mrs. Kim passive aggressively smiled at you, and continued her statement. “You know, I had just laid down my fake grass that day, for Pokie to release her diarrhea all over it. I wasted my entire evening trying to clean it. Fun times.”
Yeonjun smirked at you, but surprisingly, responded back. “Mrs. Kim, how about we sing you some Christmas songs as some compensation for the horrible, horrible, deed Y/N and her dog did to you a year ago? We won’t take long, we promise.”
Yeonjun smirked at you, but surprisingly, responded back. “Mrs. Kim, how about we sing you some Christmas songs as some compensation for the horrible, horrible, deed Y/N and her dog did to you a year ago? We won’t take long, we promise.”
You scoffed and side-eyed Yeonjun, but pulled out your sheet music and picked “Jingle Bell Rock” as your first song. Mrs. Kim crossed her arms and squinted her eyes but nonetheless, she leaned against the side of her door frame, waiting to see whether you could prove yourself from the, in her opinion, disastrous event that took place.
Yeonjun counted the both of you down into the song. Sweet harmonies and melodies began to echo throughout your neighborhood’s street. For familiar strangers to be partnered last minute without practice, the two of you were doing great.
You focused on your sheet music to keep in time, but you kept getting distracted by Yeonjun’s beautiful voice. You didn’t know how to describe it, it was mellow and smooth, yet possessed a tinge of roughness to them. You liked it. Plus, he was singing Jingle Bell Rock with adlibs, and making it sound like something Mariah Carey would produce. Even Mrs. Kim was impressed as she had starting bopping her head and enjoying the moment.
---
The two of you had sung 2 songs at Mrs. Kim’s doorstep, and now both of you were in the middle of the last one, “All I Want for Christmas”. Truthfully, you were getting tired and your throat was a little sore. Only one more song and two more houses to go, you’ll be fine Y/N.
You were so focused on getting the tune and melody right (especially in front of Mrs. Kim) that you hadn’t noticed that you were singing by yourself. Startled, you abruptly turned your head to Yeonjun and gasped. He shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head at you.
“Keep singing, Y/N. Your voice sounds great.” He whispered, and smiled.
Nervous but unable to do anything about his stubbornness, you finished the rest of the Mariah Carey hit yourself.
Oh, I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas... is you
You sighed in relief and bowed a little. That was actually a decent attempt, Y/N. At least you didn’t embarrass yourself in front of Yeonjun.
Mrs. Kim applauded and nodded her head in approval. “I didn’t know that the both of you were such good singers. I guess this will do as compensation Y/N, good job, I loved your little solo at the end. See you kiddos around, and be careful out there, the sun is already going down.” She chuckled for a bit and then shut the door.
As soon as the front door was closed, you turned to Yeonjun.
“Dude, why’d you stop singing? I literally embarrassed myself and you just stood there smiling at me! If I knew that I was going to get such a douche partner then I wouldn’t have joined in the first place!” You huffed at Yeonjun.
Instead of rebutting back like you expected him to, Yeonjun just smirked. “Chill, Y/N. I only stopped singing because I thought you sounded good. With such a beautiful voice, how can i let it go to waste if I don’t let you showcase some of your talent.” The cheeky boy then winked, or, more suitably, made an attempt to wink.
You rolled your eyes, but on the inside you were absolutely flustered. Is this boy really flirting with me?
Obviously you were touched by this statement, but you weren’t going to show it to him. With your head held high and arms crossed, you scoffed at him and started walking to the next house.
---
“I had fun today, I hope you did too, Y/Nie.” Yeonjun smiled and patted your back.
He had offered to walk you home since it was dark outside, and he didn’t live too far away.
“Yeah, it was fun, I guess.” You were looking down at the ground, conflicted with your feelings. He called me cute, he just called me Y/Nie, he complimented my voice multiple times, and he keeps smiling at me weird. Choi Yeonjun, social elite in school...what is he doing?
��...Y/N? Y/N? What’s wrong? C’mon, don't tell me you’re still mad from me letting you sing by yourself at Mrs. Kim’s?” Yeonjun teased, but you swore there was a hint of concern at the beginning of his statement.
It’s now or never Y/N, shoot your shot when you can.
You sighed, and stopped in your tracks. “Uh, Yeonjun. Would you...wanna...go out with me to the new café downtown?”
Yeonjun seemed to hesitate, and scratched the back of his neck. You immediately regretted your statement.
“No, no....uh, I’m sorry, it’s just tonight you were so-”
“No, no, no, It’s not that. I’m just trying to diet right now. How about a date at the jukebox? I would love to see you sing even more, for real.” he sheepishly smiled and stepped closer to you.
“Okay, deal.”
“Deal?” He placed an arm around your shoulder and looked straight into your eyes. “I’ll pick you up at 4 next Saturday.”
Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
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© magicisland9-34. do not repost.
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thesassenachswiftie · 4 years ago
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Lover - Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”
Read on AO3
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12
Summary: Claire and Jo go Christmas shopping; Claire gets a call at work that Lamb’s in the hospital in Boston where she fears she will need to spend the holidays without Jamie. In short: angst, but make it festive.
" This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to
Ooh-ah, you'll get better..."
CW: cancer, hospitals, illness of a loved one,
Notes: First of all, if you’re still here, thank you for reading, and thank you for bearing with me as I took a small hiatus. Hopefully I will be getting back to a more regular posting schedule, but work is really draining right now and it’s hard to find enough hours in the day to do everything. 
As you know, each Chapter of this fic is based off a Taylor Swift song by the same name. This one was particularly difficult to write/approach because I actually haven’t listened to this song in over a year. In early Summer 2019, a tumor was found on my grandfather’s brain. This was also the summer I discovered Outlander, and the summer Taylor Swift released Lover. The day after Lover came out, I broke down sobbing in my apartment listening to this song and thinking about my grandfather, knowing his condition was worsening. That night, I recieved the call that my grandfather had passed. He was the kindest, purest soul and I write this chapter in part as a tribute to him. Many of the experiences Claire and Lamb share are based on my own experiences with my grandpa that summer, and this version of Lamb is very much based on my Grandpa Jim. 
That being said, you may want to grab a box of tissues before reading, but hopefully not all your tears will be sad. I’m hoping to post again before Chistmas, but in case I don’t Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays--and Happy Hanukkah to any Jewish readers I may have--here is a Hanukkah present for you!
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 Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”  
         “All I want for Christmas is yooouuuuu” the sounds of Mariah Carey rang out throughout the small boutique gift shop in the heart of the village of Northport.
           “Good God, we’re only a week into December and I swear I’ve already heard this song three hundred times. I’m not exaggerating either. Two hundred and eight-four at the very least.” Jo scoffed exasperatedly.
           “Are you complaining?” Claire asked in reply. “It’s a great song--a classic really.”
           “Do you know how many incredible, amazing, beautiful, jolly Christmas songs there are in existence?” Jo was gearing up for one of their famous rants, “Yet, the radio stations only ever play the same eighteen songs, I swear!”
           “It must be more than eighteen.”
           “Fine. Twenty. Take this song for instance: Ingrid Michaelson has the most hauntingly beautiful cover of it--do you ever hear it? No! You only ever hear Mariah!”
           “I, for one, like Mariah!” Claire interjected, playfully defensive.
           “Who doesn’t? But she’s not the only powerhouse female vocalist out there! I’d just like to see a little diversity in my holiday music, is that so much to ask?”
           Claire giggled. Her best friend always had an opinion on everything and she loved them all the more for it. “Do you think Jenny would like this candle?” Claire unscrewed the lid a locally-made jar candle, taking a sniff before placing it under Jo’s nose. It smelled like Lavender and Sage with just a hint of Eucalyptus.
           “Does Jenny keep a lot of candles around, with all those children?” Jo chuckled back. “It does smell nice though.” Jo had only met Jenny a couple times when visiting Claire, but they had a knack for reading people and Claire was glad to have them along as a shopping partner.
           “I suppose candles aren’t really her thing. Jenny seems very practical, but I don’t know what she would need that she doesn’t already have, and Jamie’s been no help!”
           “I think you’re on the right track with the self-care/relaxation vibe, but maybe not something the children can use to burn the house down. What about an artisanal lotion set?” Jo inquired, gesturing at a nearby display.
           “Oh that might work!” Claire took a squirt from the bottle labeled ‘tester’ inhaling deeply as she rubbed it between her palms. “Ooo that’s nice, I would appreciate this if I were a hardworking mother.”
           “If things keep going the way they are with your man, LJ, you might just be before you know it” Jo made a lewd gesture with their hands, raising their eyebrows to make it clear exactly what they were implying.
           “Jo! You’re terrible” Claire shrieked, smacking her friend playfully on the arm. Besides, not much of that happening these days if you haven’t noticed, Jamie is literally across the ocean.”
           “Well, at least you can’t get knocked up from phone sex,” Jo replied. “What are you getting him anyway? I’m thinking something lacy and strappy, with little bows on it of course, to be festive. There’s a place down the street that might have something like that.”
           “Hmm” Claire exhaled. “We’ll see.” Claire knew lingerie was definitely going to be part of Jamie’s Christmas gift, one she would be most excited for him to unwrap. God, she missed him. It had been over a month and they were settling into a routine, video chatting every night, sweet texts back and forth throughout the day, the occasional phone sex when they were both sick with desire for one other--but nothing was the same as the feel of their bodies pressed against each other in the heat of the moment, chasing each other’s climax. Claire couldn’t wait to be reunited with him in every way.
           It was two days before Christmas break, only a few days left until Claire would find freedom for the next ten days and, most of all--the comfort of Jamie’s arms. Claire was sitting in her school nurse’s office, inhaling deeply during the first quiet moments she’d had all week. There was an uptick of student visits in the past couple weeks--a few were legitimate concerns tied to cold and flu season: students whose parents sent them to school when they weren’t quite well enough, overachievers who wanted to maintain their perfect attendance dragging themselves to school despite their bodies protestations. Most of her patients however, were suffering from something much more insidious: the eagerness to start their winter break early by skipping their classes. This time of year the air of the school felt different, students and teachers alike were burnt out, apathetic, and ready for a break. This attitude in the students fed into the teachers’ attitudes--overworked with the end of the marking period, trying to squeeze in Christmas shopping and decorating between grading. Claire did not envy Jo nor any of the other teachers during this time, but their exhaustion was so palpable in the air of the school that she was starting to feel it too. By tomorrow, most teachers would be shutting their doors and playing a holiday film, giving up on instruction all together--hopefully that would make for a quiet day for Claire. Really, if she could just get through the rest of the day it would be smooth sailing until Christmas--until Jamie.
           Her silent musings were broken by the blaring sound of her office phone. She was expecting a teacher, calling to send a student down, but instead it was the school clerk, Glenda. “Hi Nurse Beauchamp, we have an outside call for you, it seems like it may be a personal call so if there’s any students with you we can send someone down to watch them if you’d like to take it privately here in the office.”
           Claire's heart sank to her stomach. What could it be? She took a deep breath and swallowed to brace herself before replying “last student just left.”
           “Alright, I’ll transfer you now.” The click of the call transferring sounded through the phone.
           “Hello, this is Miss Beauchamp”
           “Hello Miss Beauchamp, I’m Tammy, a nurse at Mass General we’re calling because you’re listed as the emergency contact for Quentin Beauchamp” a nasally voice croaked through the phone speaker--the voice was impersonal like that of a cashier saying “have a nice day” for the thousandth time, not fitting of a potential harbinger of death.
           “Yes…” Claire replied, nervously, questioningly.
           “Mr. Lambert was admitted this morning after showing signs of cognitive distress. An initial cat scan shows a mass on his brain. He’s currently undergoing testing to see if it’s cancerous.”
           Claire’s lungs felt like they were about to collapse. Lamb had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago, but had been able to live with it through treatment. Claire also knew that cancer was insidious and could spread throughout the body rapidly and without warning. She knew it was very likely that the mass was cancer. She tried to find her medical professional voice, but a diagnosis was different when it was someone you loved. Instead, she croaked out, “when will you know?”
           “We should have the results by tomorrow. He’ll stay here overnight for monitoring and we’ll decide whether to admit him long term from there.”
           “I’m on Long Island, should I drive up?”
           “I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell, it could be nothing, but--” Claire cut her off, knowing exactly how bad it could be.
           “I understand. I’ll drive up this evening.”
           “Alright, he should be back in his room by then, he’s out getting his tests done now. It’s room 713 when you get here.” Claire wrote the number on a bright blue sticky note on her desk as the nurse spoke. “Have a nice day Ms. Beauchamp”
           “Hmm” was all she could reply, as if she could possibly have a nice day. She hung up the phone, and finally let the deluge of tears she’d been holding back free.
She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes to get it out, but she knew she had to get to Boston as soon as possible. She picked up the phone again and dialed the main office.
“Hi Glenda, it’s Claire. I need to take the rest of the day off--I have to go to Boston, my uncle…” she couldn’t say it out loud for fear of unleashing the tears again “Is Principal Gowan there, I need to let him know.”
“Oh Nurse Beauchamp, I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if you need anything. Mr. Gowan’s in his office, I’ll transfer you to him now, if he doesn’t answer just pack up your things and go, I’ll take care of it”
“Thanks Glenda, I really appreciate it”
----------
           After getting the ok from her kind and understanding principal, Claire rushed back to Jamie’s apartment, hastily packed a bag (likely forgetting several things), informed Jenny where she was going--which was met with sympathy and genuine concern--and hopped back in the car for the journey to Boston. She entered the hospital doors several hours later, the buttons of her coat were tangled in her hair as she rushed, breathless, to the front desk to receive her visitor’s pass.
           When she arrived at Lamb’s room, he was asleep. She didn’t want to wake him, but she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze to let him know she was there before settling into the armchair beside him to await his awakening. He looked so frail and small in the hospital bed, not at all like the strong, spirited man who had raised her. He had left the television on--some sports channel was playing a highlight reel of various golfing moments. No wonder Lamb fell asleep. Claire was staring at the screen, but her thoughts were elsewhere: worried about Lamb, wondering if she’d remember everything when she hastily packed, wondering what the future held. Would she have to spend Christmas in this hospital room? A golf ball soared across the Scottish Highlands on the screen. Jamie. Jamie was coming home Christmas Eve, she was supposed to pick him up from the airport, supposed to spend her holiday break with him, experience her first Hogmanay with the Murray family, be surrounded by love and laughter and family. Lamb was supposed to be fine, he was supposed to take the train down, spend Christmas with them. Every plan they had made was shattered into a million pieces. Would she even be able to see Jamie? She thought about the presents she’d bought for him, not yet wrapped, piled in the closet but definitely not hidden, especially considering it was his apartment. Of course he’d understand--she could tell him where they were, but the magic of unwrapping would be lost, it would feel entirely unsentimental. It was bad enough that she felt her gifts weren’t sentimental enough--what could she possibly get him to show how special he was to her? How could she communicate that with an object? If she were a painter she would paint him a painting, if she were a songwriter she would write him a song, but she was simply Claire, and practical gifts were all she knew. She had purchased a cozy blue sweater to match his eyes and keep him warm in the brisk London winters, a cool multi-tool the size of a credit card that would fit in his wallet and help him solve a variety of problems, a protective case for his phone, and a box of artisanal beef jerky.  She had also procured a complicated piece of lingerie with a big red bow across the chest for him to unwrap the night of Christmas, which she knew he would enjoy. Everything was thoughtful enough and mostly practical, but she longed to be able to give him something truly special--a grand gesture to match her feelings for him. Claire glanced back at her uncle and immediately felt guilty being so selfish. I hate to make this all about me. Lamb always had a knack for helping her realize what was important when life’s situations overwhelmed her. She needed him for perspective, but how could she talk to him about this? How could she tell him how she felt? She knew it was wrong, but she was mad at him for getting sick so close to Christmas. Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there’s no you? The tears were welling up in her eyes as she watched her most beloved uncle sleep--hooked up to machines, pale and listless in the hospital bed.
           Claire slipped into the adjoining bathroom to try to compose herself--she didn’t want her uncle to wake up and see her upset, she knew he would try to comfort her, to be the rock he always had been for her. She was here to be his rock this time, she needed to stay strong for him. She looked at herself in the mirror, telling herself it was going to be ok--her uncle was strong and he’d been fighting a long time--he’d continue to fight. Soon you’ll get better. She had to convince herself it was true, pretend it wasn’t real, it wasn’t so bad. She knew it was a delusion, she could see it all over her glass face when she looked in the mirror. She was genuinely afraid that this could be when she lost him, if not physically right away, he could be lost mentally. She’d been hoping for years he would get better, but now it seemed he’d taken a turn for the worse. She took a few deep breaths and offered up a prayer. She wasn’t usually religious, but they say desperate people find faith, so she decided it was time to try. God? Jesus? Whoever is up there. I know I don’t much deserve anything from you, I’m not sure I’m exactly on good terms with you, but I’m inclined to believe you care and you are good. Besides, I’m not really asking anything for myself, not really. I just pray my Uncle is ok, I pray he gets better. He has to. Please don’t take his brilliant mind away from him. Please let him be ok. Please, I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever it takes to help him. Just please, please, don’t take him away from me. I need him. Please let him get better. Please let him get better. Claire continued to repeat the words like a mantra as she returned to her bedside chair. She stared at the collection of orange bottles on the tray table. Please let them help him get better. Please let him get better. Please, please, please let him get better.
           Claire had no idea how long she sat there, repeating those words to herself, but her silent appeal was interrupted when a nurse entered the room to check her uncle’s vitals.
           “Hi, I’m Brenda, I’ll be the nurse on duty tonight.” Brenda erased a name on a small whiteboard in front of the room and replaced it with her own.
           “I’m Claire, I’m his niece.”
           Brenda had made her way over to the other side of the bed and was checking the monitors beside the bed, making notes on the chart in her hand. “I hate waking them up, but I’m going to have to.” Claire was glad that she was much kinder than the nurse she had spoken with on the phone earlier—had that really been earlier? It seemed much longer since that phone call. “Excuse me, Quentin? Sir?” Brenda gently nudged his arm to awaken him. Lamb’s eyes fluttered open and he looked disoriented, Claire watched him carefully hoping that his disorientation was solely from being awoken mid-sleep and not from any neurological damage.
           “Hi Uncle Lamb” Claire stammered, hoping she sounded cheerful anyway.
           “Claire! My girl! You came all the way to see your old uncle!”
           “Of course I did! How are you?” she replied warmly.
           “Oh, I’m fine, they’re taking good care of me here.” Lamb’s voice sounded genuinely content and Claire felt comforted for the first time since the hospital had called her earlier that day.
           “Hello sir, my name’s Brenda, I’ll be your nurse tonight. I just need to ask you a few questions and check your vitals.”
           “What is your name?”
           “Quentin Lambert Beauchamp”
           “Good. When is your birthday?
           “March 23th, 1939”
           “Good, and who is the president?”
           “Well, unfortunately…” both Claire and Brenda giggled at how Lamb began his sentence. Claire was well aware of Lamb’s opinions of the current president of the United States, and was glad to see he hadn’t lost his sly sense of humor or his disdain for the man.  She was also glad he knew who the president was, hopefully his mental capacities were more promising than the worst-case-scenario her mind was conjuring.
----------
           Claire stayed by her uncle’s side for the rest of the night, only leaving the room twice, once to find something to eat from a vending machine, and once for her nightly call to Jamie. She allowed herself to break down when talking to Jamie, sobbing over the phone. Jamie did his best to comfort her through the speaker, desperately wishing he could be there for her in person. Claire wished the same, longing to curl up in his strong embrace, and bury her swollen face in his chest. She couldn’t bring up the fact that she might have to spend Christmas in Boston. She was enough of a mess without facing the reality that they wouldn’t see each other, and when Jamie promised they’d see each other soon at the end of their call, Claire hung up quickly as another wave of emotion overtook her and she buried her face in her hands to cry some more.
           The next morning, the doctor came in with Lamb’s results. Claire grasped Lamb’s hand, unsure of who was holding onto whom for comfort as the doctor explained that the mass on Lamb’s brain was in fact cancerous, but it was still relatively small and had been caught early. He explained that they could operate on it and remove it, however there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t come back or that they’d be able to get it all out. It was moments like these where Claire desperately wished she was already a surgeon, that she could feel in control of the outcome--though could she operate on her own uncle? Would she be able to hold her hand steady enough to do a good job? No, perhaps it was best left to the veteran surgeons in Boston.
           After discussing all the details and options with the doctor’s, Lamb decided to go through with the surgery. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas and Claire resigned herself to the sobering fact that she’d be spending the holidays in the hospital. As the florescent hospital lights lit the room with an unnatural glow, Claire couldn’t tell him she was scared. She had to stay strong, she had to keep it together and remain positive and supportive.
           ----------
           Claire spent the next few days devoted to her uncle, rarely leaving his bedside. Lamb had forced her to spend the nights at his apartment, which was probably for the best. She wasn’t sleeping well to begin with and the recliner at the hospital was only making matters worse. Claire was present and doting on him from morning to night though, helping her uncle order his meals, assisting him when he needed to use the restroom, adding and removing pillows and blankets as needed, or anything else he needed or wanted. Lamb had been moved to the cancer floor, and the window of his new room had a nice view of the Boston skyline. Lamb was making the best of a bad deal, he bragged about his ‘luxury accommodations’, he cracked jokes often, he liked the nicer nurses, he ordered extra dessert with all his meals and was in generally pleasant spirits. Claire could see the cracks in his cognition though. Sometimes he would change the topic he was discussing mid-sentence, and he couldn’t seem to keep time straight. Whenever anyone would mention Christmas, he would act surprised to know that it was coming up, and at one point he hinted at Claire that she might just get those roller skates she wanted for Christmas, a gift she had not asked for since she was eleven years old. He didn’t seem to know what year it was or how old Claire was. He did know who Claire was though, and for that she was thankful. He also knew who the president was whenever the nurses asked, always beginning his answer with a short preamble to make known his disdain.
Before they knew it, it was Christmas Eve and Claire couldn’t hide the sadness she felt on her face. She was glad to spend the evening with Lamb, but she had been looking forward to her first big family Christmas. She had filled in Jamie about Lamb’s condition and her subsequent stay in Boston over the course of their phone calls that week. She had also describe the Christmas gifts she had purchased for the Murrays, Jo, and Lamb, so Jamie would know the rest were for him. Jamie had agreed to put the Murrays gifts in gift bags and distribute them for her. They were meant to exchange family gifts that evening, the morning being reserved for Santa, and Claire was heartbroken to be missing out. In a matter of hours, and for the first time in two months, her and Jamie would be on the same continent, yet they wouldn’t be able to see each other. There was no way Claire could get into the Christmas spirit under these conditions. The hospital, despite being modestly decorated, was not the most festive atmosphere. Even a troop of Girl Scouts caroling their way through the hospital halls did nothing to assuage the weight of losing everything Claire had been looking forward to for the past two months.
           “What’s a matter, my dear?” Lamb asked, showing genuine concern for his niece.
           “It’s nothing, I’m fine, I promise, I’m just wishing things were different today.”
           “Why today? Is it something special? I can’t seem to remember.”
           “It’s Christmas Eve. You were supposed to come to Long Island and meet Jamie. We were going to spend the holiday with his family.”
           “Yes, I remember, that’s today? Oh dear, I haven’t gotten your gift yet I’m afraid.”
           “That’s fine, Lamb, I’m afraid I left your gift at home, so we’ll have to do that part later. We can take a raincheck on gift exchanging. I was just really looking forward to you getting to know Jamie.”
           “I’m sure I’ll meet the lad soon; he seems really special to you.”
           “He is; I know you’ll like him.”
           “I already do.” He patted the top of her hand and turned his attention back to the sitcom on the television, providing humorous commentary to try to cheer Claire up.
----------
It was late Christmas morning. Uncle Lamb was napping again and Claire had switched the television to the Hallmark Channel--usually her guilty pleasure this season, today it was simply reminding her of how her Christmas was proving to be less than magical. For her there would be no Christmas kisses, no magical snowfall, no saving the small town family business or learning to love Christmas again. All that awaited her this Christmas were fluorescent lights, beeping monitors, and nurses visiting every 6 hours to check her uncle’s vitals. This Christmas would be decidedly the most un-magical she had ever experienced. She had had her share of unconventional Christmases in the past, in fact, she never really was a Christmas person, but it had started to feel special to her when she was living in New York. This Christmas though--this was one she was looking forward to more than ever before. Claire spent most of the morning crying, grieving over all she was missing. She should have spent the morning curled up in Jamie’s arms, watching the children open presents. She could picture the Murray’s living room, trashed with colorful wrapping paper from end to end, each child in their own private world fascinated by their latest favorite toy, Jenny and Ian beaming through tired eyes.
Claire was surprised Jamie hadn’t called her to fill her in on the details yet. He had called yesterday when his plane arrived--groggy and jet-lagged, his communication skills were not the most eloquent, but he tried his best to make her feel better. She hadn’t heard from him at all this morning though, not even a Merry Christmas text. Surely the jet lag would have woken him up as early as the children, and they must have been done opening presents by now. Claire tried to rationalize that Jamie was just spending time with his family, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt and ignored. She thought she was important enough to him that he could take a moment away from his family to at least text her, or to find some way to make her feel included from afar. Had his feelings changed in their months apart? Did coming home to a messy apartment turn him off? Did she find his Christmas gifts and come to think she didn’t care enough to get him something more thoughtful? She thought about calling him, but a mixture of pride and fear kept her from acting first, not to mention she couldn’t stop crying over these sappy Christmas movies.
Suddenly, a voice from the doorway rang through the room, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Claire looked up in confusion, momentarily unable to comprehend her surroundings and the disruption that had just entered them. Santa? No. The tall figure filling the door frame was dressed like Santa, beard and all, but the unmistakable Scottish burr gave away his true identity. If Claire hadn’t already been crying, she certainly was now. Jamie was standing in the doorway, dressed in a Santa suit, carrying a large, blue IKEA bag overflowing with wrapped presents and what appeared to be Christmas decorations.
“What?” Claire could hardly believe he was there, she rose from the chair and the couple met in the middle of the room for a hearty embrace. Claire buried her face in the soft, fluffy suit covering Jamie’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Perhaps the setting wasn’t a snow covered street in a small town, but this was her own Hallmark movie moment--and to be honest, those Hallmark guys had nothing on James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. Jamie held her close, and tight, planting kisses in her curls and whispering softly to her.
“I’m here, mo nighean donn.” He caressed her shoulders with his thumbs, not releasing his embrace in the slightest, breathing in her scent, trying to absorb her fears and pain.
All of the commotion had awoken Uncle Lamb and after witnessing the couples’ embrace for longer than was comfortable, Lamb loudly cleared his throat to remind them of his presence in the room.
“Uncle Lamb!” Claire unfolded herself from Jamie’s embrace, keeping one arm around his back. Jamie sheepishly pulled the fake beard down around his neck to reveal his face and removed his Santa hat, clutching it tightly in the palm that wasn’t holding Claire. “This is Jamie, my Jamie. Jamie, this is my Uncle Lamb.”
“Well, I’m certainly glad it’s not Santa Claus, or we’d have a lot of explaining to do to the lad!” Lamb chuckled back.
“A pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” Jamie reluctantly released Claire from his grasp to step beside the bed, extending a firm but gentle hand to Lamb. “I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”
“Pleased to meet you as well, lad” Lamb replied, patting Jamie’s hand with his before releasing their handshake. “And don’t you worry about me, I have the best nurse there is taking care of me.” Two sets of proudly smiling eyes met Claire across the room.
“Oh I dinna doubt it for a second. Your niece is a rare woman.”
“Glad to see we’re in agreement. Now what’s all that?” Lamb gestured towards the large tote discarded near Claire’s feet.
“Aye, I thought I’d bring you two a bit o’ holiday cheer.” Jamie pulled a large cardboard box from the bag and extracted a small tabletop Christmas tree from it, unfurling each branch carefully and placing it on the countertop across the room, plugging it in to reveal fiber optic lights changing colors dreamily. “I usually insist on my Christmas trees being more, well, alive, but under the circumstances this’ll have tae do.” Jamie and Claire spent the next half hour or so festooning the room in garlands and placing tiny ornaments on the small tree. Claire tried to ignore that more than half of the bag was filled with brightly wrapped gifts, not sure whether she was hoping they were all for her, or hoping that they weren’t. After all, she didn’t have anything to give him and she didn’t know if he had looked through his gifts yet nor if he had appreciated them.
While they decorated, Jamie filled Claire and Lamb in on the events of the last few days. Jamie had called Jenny to tell her not to bother picking him up from the airport. He had planned on renting a car there and driving straight to Boston. Claire could hear Jenny’s voice loud and clear through Jamie’s imitation “ya clotheid! Have ya gone daft? Yer barely able to form coherent sentences amidst the jet lag from yer Christmas Eve flight, and ya wanna drive five hours tae Boston in that state!?! Claire willna appreciate ya ending up in a ditch on the side of the road as a Christmas present ya eejit!” Jenny had made a fair point, and Jamie had agreed to sleep at home and left shortly after he awoke that morning, staying only long enough for the children to open their stockings, and to watch their faces alight with surprise at the sudden appearance of piles of presents under and around the tree.
“I’m glad you took Jenny’s advice, but most of all I’m glad you’re here.” She embraced him again. “You didn’t have to do this though, Jamie, I know how important your family is to you.”
Jamie stepped back and lifted Claire’s chin with his thumb, looking into her eyes. “You are important to me, Sassenach.” he replied, with a sincerity that penetrated Claire’s heart. Claire responded by kissing Jamie chastely on the cheek, knowing her uncle was only four feet away--politely trying to ignore them and watch the television which he had flipped to an all-day marathon of A Christmas Story on repeat. Jamie’s welcome intrusion broke up the monotony of hospital life and seemed to give Lamb a better sense of what day it was.
“Now that we’ve got the place looking good and festive, I believe it’s traditional to exchange gifts on Christmas day.”
“Jamie, it’s too much, I--”
“Oh? Thought they were all for you, didja Sassenach?” he teased. Claire blushed. Of course; she hadn’t really--but who else would they be for? Surely Jamie wouldn’t spoil Lamb, a complete stranger to him, quite so much, and no one else was there. She looked dumbfounded as she tried to come up with a defense but Jamie stopped her. “Dinna fash, Sassenach, Jenny wrapped your gifts for me and Lamb before I could see and I bought them along too. She thanks ya for the wee lotions, by the way.”
“God bless Jenny! That woman is a Saint.” Claire also silently thanked God that she had left the present she was planning on wearing for Jamie that evening in her dresser drawer, that was not a gift she wanted Jenny to see, and was definitely not something she wanted him to be opening in front of her uncle.
The three exchanged gifts, save Lamb, who had nothing to give but smiles and approval for the young couples’ thoughtful gifts. Jamie was genuinely appreciative of Claire’s gifts, although she kept insisting that she hadn’t finished shopping and there was more to come; to which Jamie humbly rejected, claiming it wasn’t necessary. Jamie’s gifts to Claire were thoughtful and meaningful, the most touching ones being a print of a painting of the rose garden he had ordered from the Botanic Garden’s gift shop and a bracelet engraved with the words perennis amor, which caused Claire to tear up and embrace him tenderly in spite of her uncle’s presence.
The three enjoyed the rest of the day thoroughly. A Christmas Story played in the background and they laughed and shared stories with one another. Jamie was a born storyteller and Lamb was elated to have a fresh audience to recount his many adventures to, so conversation flowed naturally between them, with Claire occasionally interjecting. Claire mostly just sat back and admired the two men who were most important to her, filled with joy that they were getting along, that Jamie was there, that it was Christmas. For the first time in several days she had hope and peace. She was surrounded by love in that hospital room as well. She had all the things Christmas was said to bring, and for that she was grateful. Jamie had made her greatest Christmas wishes come true without her even asking and she felt lucky to be alive.
The hospital staff served their version of Christmas dinner for the small family, and while Claire was sure it paled in comparison to whatever Jenny had made, it was quite delicious, especially considering it was hospital food. Jamie ate in the armchair next to Lamb at Claire’s insistence, since the two were deep in conversation, and Claire sat in the chair on the other side of Jamie, taking in her magical Christmas scene, better than any Hallmark movie could depict.
After dinner, Jamie was fading fast, listening to one of Lamb’s stories with heavy eyes.  She took one of the spare blankets and covered Jamie. “Looks like you’re still not over your jet lag”
“Hrmmphh, I ‘spose not.”
“Do you want me to go get you a coffee? I doubt the cafe downstairs is open today, but there’s a cappuccino vending machine a few floors down that isn’t terrible.”
“Aye Sassenach, that’d be bonny. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“None at all, my love, I’ll be back soon.” Claire squeezed his hand before leaving the two men alone.
Jamie listened to her footsteps down the hall, and waited until he heard the ding of the elevator before he cleared his throat to speak frankly to Lamb. He sat up straight in the chair to ward off the sleepiness, having a few important things he wanted to say before Claire came back.
“Lamb, I need you to know, Claire is the most important person in my life. I love her sae much and I’d do anything for her.”
“I’m glad to hear that, I can see how happy you make her. She lights up when you’re around, it comforts my old heart to see.”
“I need you tae know, I’m very serious about her. I ken we haven’t been together that long, but I know--I know deep in my wame that I’m meant tae be hers. I want ya to know that I intend on spending the rest of my life making her happy, and while I havna bought a ring or ennathing yet, I wanted to ask yer blessing” Jamie paused for a moment before adding, “just in case.”
“Of course you have my blessing, son. I couldn’t be more glad to know that Claire will be so well cared for after I’m gone, truly.” Both men looked somber, knowing full well that this could be their last conversation, hoping dearly that it wasn’t. Claire returned with three cappuccinos in hand, surprised by the mood in the room.
“Everything alright, gentlemen? Don’t tell me Ralphie shot his eye out!”
“Och! Everything’s fine, Claire! I’m just tired is all, I’m sure this wee cappuccino will cure me in no time!” replied Jamie, eagerly taking a cup from Claire as she set another on Lamb’s tray table. The rest of the evening was quiet as Jamie took a nap, while Lamb and Claire watched A Christmas Story more intently then they had all day. Claire didn’t want to leave him alone so early on Christmas so she let Jamie nap until Lamb was asleep soundly for the night. The sense of joy she had felt all day was still present, but the nagging worry she felt about Lamb’s coming surgery was starting to settle in as well. Claire woke Jamie gently and Claire whispered softly to Lamb that they’d return in the morning, squeezing his hand before the couple quietly left the room.
----------
They walked out to Jamie’s car, since he still had his stuff packed in it, but Claire drove them back to Lamb’s apartment where she’d been staying. The cappuccino was helping Jamie stay coherent, but he was in no state to drive. They were quiet on the drive home, but kept their hands locked between the seats, grateful just to be in the presence of one another.
When they arrived at Lamb’s apartment, Jamie was so tired, he didn’t even want to brush his teeth, let alone do any of his usual nightly routines. However, he had spent the morning sweating in a polyester Santa suit over his clothes, and although he took it off shortly after his surprise arrival, he felt in need of a shower. Claire showed him where the bathroom was and made sure he had everything he needed, and got herself ready for bed.
Jamie showered quickly, not bothering to wash his hair, and only cleaning the parts of his body where any stench would be most concentrated, figuring the water would take care of the rest. A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, ready to collapse into bed, but not before embracing his sorcha. He scooped her into his embrace and she buried her face in his bare, firm chest, warm from the shower. He smelled clean, and fresh and most of like Jamie. “I’m so happy you’re with me, Jamie. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re here.” the emotions of the day hit her again and her voice caught at the end of her sentence as tears filled her eyes once again. Jamie kissed her forehead softly, down to her nose, and landed on her lips, giving her the firm, passionate kiss they’d both been longing for all day--and for months before that.
“Mo cridhe.” Jamie breathed when they separated. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll no’ leave you alone when ya need me.”
“Oh Jamie” Claire was still crying, “I’ve been so worried. I’ve been trying to stay strong for Lamb, but I feel like this won’t go back to normal--if there ever was a normal with him. I’m scared he’s going to get worse, or--” her sentence dissolved into a fit of sobs, which she tried to stifle on Jamie’s shoulder.
“You don’t have to stay strong when you’re with me. I’ll be here to help you shoulder the burden. I’ll be here to soak up your tears. There’s two of us now, Claire.” He pressed a kiss into her curls. “You can feel your feelings now, mo cridhe. Lay your cares on me. Come now, let’s get ya tae bed. I’m no’ sure how much longer I can stand myself.”
Claire fell asleep wrapped safely in Jamie’s embrace, free to be herself fully. Free to be vulnerable she felt safe, she felt loved, she felt comfortable, and most new to her--she felt she had the hope and strength that she could carry on, no matter what was to come. She slept better than she had in weeks, secure in the embrace of her eternal love.
End Notes: Thanks again for reading!! By the way, the Ingrid Michaelson song Jo mentions is hauntingly beautiful and you should listen to it. Also, I hope you liked Jamie's surprise. This was going to be a lot more angsty of a chapter but Jamie refused to let Claire suffer and had other plans. I know this was full of a lot of emotional ups and downs, and hopefully we can all find some comfort in the fact that just because Christmas/the holidays may look different for a lot of us this year, it can still be special, and there's still light, joy, love, hope, and peace to be found in the midst of the darkness.
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excindrela · 5 years ago
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12 Days of Demon Ayno - Day 3 (18+ M)
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Supernatural AU
Pairing: demon! Ayno (Noh YoonHo) VAV x Female Reader
Genre: Fluff & S M U T
Warnings: Fingering, Graphic sex (semi-public, mirror, un-protected)
Word Count: 2435
AN: Welcome to Day 3 of the 12 Days of Demon Ayno! As promised, here’s the SMUT! (Oh don’t worry- there’s more where this came from!)  I love feedback- so if there’s something you like, or something you want to see- tell me!! Hope you like it! 
Demon Ayno: Summoned, Thanksgiving, 12 Days: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9
On the 3rd Day of Christmas: You Took Ayno to the Mall
You were sifting through the mail, which at this time of year consisted mostly of ads and catalogs, when you saw the envelope. Oh no. You’d almost forgotten: the office Christmas party. There was no getting out of it, and worse, somehow your co-workers had found out you had a boyfriend. This meant you were going to have to take Ayno. You glanced over at him, sitting on the couch totally engrossed in yet another insipid Hallmark Christmas movie, and wondered how you were going to pull this off. There was no way he was going to just blend in: Ayno was tall and beautiful- the platinum blonde hair you were currently gracing him with making him even more of a standout. Once you put him in a suit and tie, he was going to stop traffic and hearts. You felt yourself getting lightheaded at the thought.
Right on cue, Ayno’s head swiveled in your direction, eyes already glowing burgundy and full of sparkle, as he gracefully rose and crossed the room in three short strides to press his body against yours and capture your mouth with his. “Did you need something?” he asked suggestively.  
“Nope. I’m good.” You half lied.
Never one to take no for an answer, Ayno began softly kissing your neck. “Mmmmm...your pheromones suggest otherwise.” He said softly between kisses.
“With you kissing me like that, how could they not?”
You felt his lips curve into a smile. “I don’t see the problem…”
“The problem”, you said attempting to push him away, “is that once we get going, we don’t stop! …and I unfortunately have things to get done tonight.”
“I hope you were planning to add me to your to-do list” he mock pouted.
You laughed “You are always on my to-do list.”
*          *          *
Any thoughts you had that you were going to leave Ayno at home and just say “he couldn’t make it” went out the window at the end of the staff meeting the next day when Megan, who you usually referred to as Mega Bitch Barbie, cornered you and asked in front of everyone “So! Will we finally be seeing this mysterious boyfriend of yours at the Christmas party?”, the tone of her voice implying that no such person actually existed. Right then and there you decided that Ayno was definitely going, and in the most lethal look you could mentally conjure for him.
*          *          *
 “Soooo…we have to go shopping.” You told him.
“Shopping?” he asked excitedly “Can we go to the store with the chicken feet and the large spikey fruit?” Ayno loved grocery shopping.
“No, sorry- this is not a trip to the Asian market. We have to go to the Mall.”
He looked a little disappointed. “Do we have to go through every store? Many of them seem the same. And some of them stink and make me sneeze.”
You laughed lightly. “I promise we will avoid Yankee Candle and Bath & Body Works. I have to find a dress to wear to the office Christmas party.”
“Oh. When will you go to this party?”
“In a couple weeks. You’re going too.”
Ayno’s whole face lit up. “I will go with you? You think it is ok to let people see me and meet me?” he asked.
“Of course! …and before you ask, yes, I will tell them you’re my boyfriend.”
“I promise I will try not to be awkward. I will say little and stay right next to you.” he said in a rush.
Your heart hurt a little- he was trying so hard. “You’ll be fine. You’re doing a great job of acting human.”
Ayno beamed and gave you one of those full body hugs you loved. “Do I need clothes for this too?”
“Well yes- and no. You do need a suit. But I was thinking I might just conjure your clothes.”
Ayno looked wary. “Is that a good idea? You know what happens…”
He wasn’t wrong in his concern. You had learned that when Ayno said he appeared however you desired him, he meant it literally. If you truly desired him to look like SpongeBob SquarePants in a pink housecoat and hair curlers, that is exactly what he would look like…and the change would take only moments. So, if you desired him to wear the outfit on the cover of GQ- that’s what he would be instantly wearing. The problem came in when you started thinking about things you’d like him to do to you and started picturing him naked…which was why you had invested in some actual real world clothes for him- those didn’t just disappear off his body the second your thoughts went NC-17.
*          *          *
You started with the department stores. Nordstrom & Bloomingdale’s were too expensive, and Dillard’s had a whole lot of nothing. That meant you had to hit the mall stores.
Ayno had proven to be good to shop with: three levels of consumer paradise always fascinated him, he offered honest assessments of anything you tried on, and had seemingly endless patience with the process- particularly if you gave him your cell phone to play with. He was totally addicted to Candy Crush.
This next store looked sort of promising. Over bright lighting, hard to navigate displays, tons of disposable fast fashion, and from the overhead speakers Mariah Carey was loudly declaring that all she wanted for Christmas was you. You saw several dresses you liked right away, and they had most of them in your size. The salesgirl lead you to the dressing room area at the rear of the store. They were co-ed dressing rooms that sat down a long hallway with wooden stadium style seats on one side and then the dressing rooms on the other with doors that reached almost to the floor. You stepped inside the room to discover it was actually rather spacious and had one of those awesome three panel mirrors that you could angle so you could actually see yourself from every position all at once. The first two dresses were absolute no goes: One of them was ill fitting, and the color on the other one washed you out. The third dress was a possibility if not a little boring. You actually had to take your bra off for dress number four: one of those tight stretchy neoprene numbers that looked almost like vinyl. Ok, this dress was a little too body-con for an office party, but you looked sexy as hell. You were tousling your hair, turning and admiring yourself when you heard a knock on the dressing room door. You were about to tell the salesgirl you were fine, when you heard Ayno’s voice low and husky “Open the door”. You cracked it open to see his eyes blazing burgundy and full of lust. He pushed through the dressing room door and locked it behind him. He moved around to stand behind you, wrapping one arm around your waist and pressing you to his body, the other hand rubbing your thigh and pushing the already-too-short-hem of the dress ever higher. “Mmmm you do look sexy, don’t you? He said as he captured your earlobe with his teeth and began nibbling and tugging on it.  “Ayno! Stop!” you hissed. “What’s the matter baby? Afraid someone will hear us?” “YES! We will get thrown out! Or arrested!!” “Then you’d better stay quiet” he growled as he pushed 2 of his fingers into your mouth. This was the closest you had ever gotten to sucking Ayno’s cock, so you went to work on his fingers with all the pent-up frustration of having been denied that privilege. His large hand kneaded and grabbed your ass as you swirled your tongue around his fingers and sucked hard. While weaving a trail of pale strawberry marks across the top of your shoulders, he worked the dress to your waist; and still feeling the smooth skin of your bare ass, he glanced down at it. “Oooo…you are feeling sexy today! You’re wearing- what do you call this again? A “thong”? Such pretty black lace…” his eyes flared a brighter burgundy as he looked up at you in the mirror “…too bad it’s in my way.” Ayno bent down, and with one hand occupied by your mouth, he used the other to pull the string taut, and brought his teeth down to rip it away from the “whale tail” at the top. You felt it give way and slingshot between your legs, coming to dangle uselessly in the front. “That’s better” he said as he brought his free hand down to smack your ass. You squealed in surprise and jumped forward slightly. “Shhhh…I can’t fuck you if you won’t stay quiet.” Ayno admonished as pumped his fingers in and out of your mouth.  He pulled them out with a pop and trailed them between your ass cheeks before sliding lower and slipping them into your juicy pussy. You sighed as he slid them in and out quickly causing a squelching sound. “Is all this for me?” he whispered. You nodded and whimpered slightly, suddenly needing to feel him buried in you. You moaned in protest as he abruptly removed his fingers, bringing his hand around to the front of you, running his fingers up and down between your folds before placing your swollen clit between his thumb and forefinger and gently rolling. You gasped, bighting your lips to keep silent as he brought his other hand up and gently lifted your chin until you look up and meet his eyes in the mirror. You could feel your tension building, as you ground your ass against Ayno’s hard cock, still straining to be freed from his pants. Suddenly he stopped, kissed your cheek and whispered “Not yet” low in your ear as you moaned in protest of your stolen high.
Ayno reached up slowly removed the straps from your shoulders and rolled the dress down your sides and off your body until it fell to the floor. He turned you slightly sideways and said, “Spread your legs, bend over, and put both hands on the left mirror.” Your core grew hot with anticipation as you followed his instructions. Then he reached over and adjusted the right panel of the mirror so you could see your naked body bent before him: breasts hanging free and dripping pussy on display like an open rose. You watched breathlessly as Ayno took his finger and ran it gently along the edges of each petal, and slowly swirled around the opening before pushing a single digit back in. A sigh escaped your lips as he worked the digit slowly back and forth before withdrawing it covered in your juices to swirl around the lips again. “So beautiful.” He murmured as he repeated his actions before bringing his fingers to his lips and licking them clean. His eyes never left yours as he unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor next to the dress. He gently stroked himself and then brought the tip of his length to your waiting hole. He stroked the head of his cock up and down between your slick folds, lubing himself until you saw him prod the entrance, and begin teasing you by inserting just the head, and then withdrawing it. “Oh god Ayno- don’t tease me! Just fuck me” you pleaded. “So impatient” he said clucking his tongue at you. “Are you going to stay quiet?” he asked as he pushed in again. “Yes” you whispered desperately. He grabbed your hips and sheathed himself all the way in in one long steady stroke. You watched as his shaft disappeared inside you one centimeter at a time, your walls stretching as he pressed in until his thighs were flush against your ass. Then he dragged slowly all the way back out, allowing you to feel his every ridge. For a moment you could see his cock coated in your juices glistening in the dressing room lights, before he pushed himself all the way back in watching as your wet pussy lips parted to welcome him. Every time he pressed in you could feel the sweet stretch against your walls as he filled you and then the feeling of emptiness as your walls touched again when he withdrew. Ayno’s eyes met yours in the mirror “I love watching your pussy take my cock. Do you like it too? Do you like watching me fuck you?” he asked. “Yes, god yes…please Ayno, this is torture! Fuck me hard...” you whined. “Your wish is always my command” he said as he continued thrusting fully in and out of you, his pace building rapidly. The slap of his thighs against your ass was muffled by the sounds of Blink 182 telling you they would not be home for Christmas; but you watched your ass cheeks jiggle as his thighs connected, and your breasts bounce with every stroke. He continued pulling his full length out and slamming back into you despite the frenetic pace he now had. Your breath was coming in shallow pants as you reached one hand down to your throbbing clit and squeezed your eyes shut. You weren’t aware of how loud you were moaning until Ayno reached forward and clamped one hand over your mouth. “C’mon baby – don’t be scared- you don’t have to hold back.” he coaxed, seeing you fighting to keep your climax at bay. You could feel your stomach tighten and your legs starting to shake. Your moans became high pitched as your orgasm sent waves of pleasure through your body. Ayno pulled out and spun you around- pressing you against his body, your mound grinding against his bare cock and your whimpers lost in his mouth as you rode it out.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. You broke away from the kiss, your whole body going stock still, shaking legs still being supported by Ayno. “Hi! How’s it goin’ in there?!” the voice of the overly cheerful salesgirl asked. Ayno broke into a huge grin. “Great! Thanks!” you called back, hoping you didn’t sound as shaky as you felt. “Was that a good size for you? Did that fit ok?” she asked. Ayno’s whole body began shaking with silent laughter. “Yep! It was perfect. Fit like a dream.” you answered back trying not to laugh. “Ok! Let me know if you need anything else!” she said as she moved on to check the next patron. “Maybe some new underwear…” you mumbled under your breath.
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sasuhinasno1fan · 5 years ago
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Simple Decorating - Klancemas Day 5
I think my writing is getting worse but I’m gonna persevere. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t eat this again so that @monthlyklance misses it. Last time I did this, i bombarded them with a message a day at least when I posted to make sure they saw it. They said they didn’t mind but I still felt bad. Decorating
“Remember everyone, the tree in the lobby should only have ornaments on it, not trash cause you’re too lazy to throw it out or any profanity like items. I swear I see a sex toy dangling from the branches, we are going to have issues!”
Lance looked around, already guessing the people who were going to ignore the RA’s warnings. Lance didn’t care, he was just glad they were told they could decorate. The only time they could hang things from the ceiling, unless of course their room had a Wi-Fi router or the old sprinkler systems. Lance was lucky, he had one of the newer rooms and just escaped getting a router in the room. The unfortunate issue was his roommate was Griffin was a regular Scrooge. Pretty much demanded that there shouldn’t be any Christmas in the room. Lance thought it was because he was Jewish and celebrated Hanukah but it turned out that he just thought it was a capitalist holiday and refused to give in. Lance had fond memories of decorating for Christmas with his family and he was extremely tempted to just ignore Griffin but he also didn’t want to lose decorations he spent money on.
Once the crowd around the tree died, Lance grabbed a blank paper ornament and drew a surfing Santa before hanging it on the tree. It wasn’t the gaudy one like at home, but it was something.
“Lance.” Lance turned to see Keith squeezing past people with a large gift bag in hand. “Guess what your cousin just handed me.”
Many people thought that Adam was a kind, responsible person. He was, most of the time. The other half he was a complete little shit who Lance couldn’t deal with without wanting to ring his neck. Whatever was in that bag could either be good or bad.
Keith opened it and showed it Lance. It was a boxed mini Christmas tree. Keith had an older room with a sprinkler system. It was turned off but still, rules were he couldn’t hang anything up on the ceiling and during that time they had to cancel their trip to a cabin because they got snowed in, they had gotten onto the topic of what they would do at their house for Christmas. Lance told him about the family he’d have, with music playing throughout the house, the smells of a Cuban feast wafting from the kitchen. Keith’s would be either packing for a trip his mom would take him and Shiro on or the traditions of blowing up balloons, bunching them and sticking them on the ceiling, getting a tree and pulling out the old school decorations to put on the tree and Nightmare Before Christmas playing on the TV for probably the 8th time that day. Lance knew that when their RA informed them that they’d get to put things on the ceilings, he was already texting Shiro. Then they said the rules and he broke down, emotionally, not literally. Lance had yet to see him cry and part of him didn’t want to.
“Wanna decorate it with me?”
“And actually have holiday cheer that isn’t destroyed by the Grinch I live with? Yes please. Oh! Can we listen to my holiday playlist? If I even try to play it in the room, Griffin just complains to the highest point of hell till I turn it off.”
“As long as Mariah Carey isn’t on there. Shiro listens to those songs all the time and if I have to hear it one more time, I will become violent.
“Well, I do love it when you get rough.” Lance teased enjoyed the red faced glare he got.
                                                   _____________
“I should have known there was a catch.”
They were in Keith’s dorm, his roommate Regis focused on his computer science homework or hacking into something, Lance didn’t know. He did know he was appreciating the music as his foot wouldn’t stop bouncing and he heard quite humming from across the room. But back to what Adam did. He had given Keith a box of decorations as well, mini ones to fit on the tree. Except they needed to be threaded.
“Hey, at least he also gave you lights.” Lance said, pulling out the small box of fairy lights.
Keith upended the box of decorations, happy to see a pack cut thread fall out too.
“Can you put the lights on the tree? That is the one thing I hate doing.” Keith asked already dreading threading all the stuff. He did notice that they were red and blue, both his and Lance’s favourite colours. Adam might be a little shit, but at least he was a kind one.
Keith struggled to get the thread to knot, cursing his habit of biting his nails. He’d use tweezers, but his Swiss Army Knife was in his bag and he was too stubborn to get up.
“I’m done!” Lance announced, turning the fairy lights and then letting out a squeak. “Ohh, I didn’t even notice it was the colourful ones. Aww, Adam cares.”
Keith glared at his boyfriend as he continued to struggle with thread.
“Poor baby, do you need help?”
“Don’t sit there you shit, help me!”
Adam highlighted his notes he knew he’d need for his upcoming final when he his phone started buzzing from an onslaught of texts. If it weren’t for Shiro napping on his bed, he thought it was his boyfriend. Once it was finally quite, he unlocked his phone and saw it had been Lance texting him, with many, many pictures attached. The first was a picture of what looked like Keith struggling to thread ornaments. Adam smirked, an asshole move yes, but so worth it. The next was the tree with the rainbow lights threaded through the branches. That one had been more for Lance than for Keith. The kid’s room was pretty close to being a fire hazard with all the string lights he had in his room. His asshole roommate complained about the coloured lights within the first week of being roommates, so he took them down. The next was Keith’s roommate, Regis he think it was, looking bewildered and annoyed all at once, holding an ornament in hand. Adam had no clue why they’d thrown it at him but the look on his face was something to giggle about. The next was Lance using two long ones to give Keith ears. The next was the finished tree, the red and blue ornaments glowing with the lights from the fairy lights plus an origami star. He knew Keith had been complaining about not being able to decorate his room the way he wanted, but he was glad his gift would bring a small bit of joy. The next came with a caption.
‘We thought he was doing homework, but he was coding a hologram tree with 12 special ornaments to appear on the 12 days leading up to Christmas.’
It wasn’t the best picture since the room was dark, but there was definitely a Christmas tree hovering over one of the desks. Adam decided he didn’t want to know how.
The last picture was a selfie of Keith and Lance, the tinsel he’d also included wrapped around their heads like flower crowns. He wondered where that went. He hadn’t seen it on the tree.
‘Keith says thank you for the tree. He wanted to decorate his room really bad so I’ll be donating my photo hanging fairy lights so he can hang up the extra ornaments on his side of the room. It’d be cool to see what his family does to their house for the holidays. You should text me pictures when you go with Shiro.’
Adam then had a thought. While he was sure Lance would love to see his family for the holidays, Lance did seem interested in seeing Keith’s family traditions.
“Hmm, I need to call aunty.”
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tarysande · 6 years ago
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Lucifer Fic: Snow at Christmastime (1/1)
@someoneasgoodasyou I was your TDN Naughty or Nice gift giver! The prompt was “snowed-in”---but since you wrote such an amazing snowed-in fic(!!!), I wanted to go for something completely different.
I hope you have the very happiest of holidays!! <3
Also on AO3
Snow at Christmastime
#
“Mommy,” said Trixie plaintively, pushing a piece of chocolate cake around her plate. “Why don’t we ever get snow at Christmastime?”
Chloe smiled, pretended to go for the piece of cake, and was relieved when Trixie immediately scooped it up and gulped it down. “Because we live in Los Angeles, Monkey. Haven’t you guys talked about weather and climate in school?”
With a heavy sigh, Trixie replied, “Yeah. But it’s not fair.”
“Snow is overrated,” Maze added, ignoring Trixie’s plate and cutting herself a ridiculously large slab of devil’s food cake—her second. Trixie watched her with wide eyes, and Chloe started the mental countdown. 5-4-3-2—
“If Maze gets more cake, can I have some, too?”
“Little monkeys don’t need that much sugar three hours before bed.”
“But—”
Chloe gave her Mom Look #3—Don’t Push Your Luck, Young Lady—and Trixie subsided with a half-hearted huff.
“Scrooge,” said Maze, and offered Trixie a mouthful of cake from her own plate.
#
The next day—Christmas Eve, and Chloe woefully unprepared because a particularly ugly case had kept her busy for most of December—a knock on the door was followed by its immediate opening, even though she was sure she’d bolted it after Maze left.
“Good morning, Detective,” Lucifer greeted. “Dearie me, it is rather…” He gestured vaguely as he entered, pulling a suitcase. “‘Bah, humbug,’ isn’t it?”
She tried to see the room the way he must. The artificial tree listed halfway out of the box, undecorated. When she’d tried to plug it in, the pre-strung lights had been dead, and she’d meant to go through and check them all, but that had been just before the third body dropped. A pile of fake boughs of holly spilled across the floor beside it, halls decidedly undecked. She didn’t even know where the box of ornaments was.
And that wasn’t counting the dishes from breakfast, Maze’s empty vodka bottle(s), the pile of laundry that had only made it halfway to the machine, and some kind of explosion of art supplies Trixie had abandoned mid-project.
“Don’t tell me you’re pro-Christmas,” Chloe replied.
Lucifer lifted an eyebrow. “What’s not to like? Gluttony, fulfilled desires, general debauchery. You missed a chorus line of sexy Santas at Lux last night. Shame.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I thought maybe the, you know,” she waved a hand at him, then in the general direction of the tree, “familial connection might put you off.”
“Come now, Detective. That’s not how it works. Avoiding family is a long-standing Christmas tradition, is it not?” He glanced around the room, gazing into corners with exaggeratedly wide eyes. “Or have you hidden your mother in a closet?”
She made a face. “Mom’s in … I want to say Amsterdam? But it could be Brussels.”
“And you’re heartbroken.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t dislike spending time with the people I care about, Lucifer.”
“Well, yes. That is why I’m here.”
“Lucifer!” Trixie barreled out of her room, arms flung wide. “You’re here!”
Chloe noticed—but didn’t mention—that even though he had plenty of time to step out of Trixie’s way, he didn’t. He just glowered down at Trixie with an aggrieved air and said, “Child.”
Trixie still clung to Lucifer’s waist, and Chloe thought about calling her off, but since he wasn’t even squirming, she decided to see how long he’d let the hug last. Chloe said, “I’m not coming to see your Santas.”
His brief leer said he’d picked up her completely unintentional double entendre. “Of course not,” he said. “That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“No one’s getting driving lessons until she’s sixteen.”
“Not that deal, Mommy,” said Trixie, giving Lucifer a final squeeze before removing herself. Under other circumstances—and perhaps involving completely different people—Chloe might have described the look Lucifer gave her daughter as fond. “I made a different one. But I’m not telling.” Trixie glared up at Lucifer. “And neither is Lucifer. Not yet.”
Lucifer’s shrug was liquid to the point of nonchalance. “My word is my bond, urchin, but you know my terms.”
Chloe sighed. “Lucifer.”
He lifted a hand. “Come now, Detective. ’Tis the season, as they say. Spawn?”
“I’m ready!” She turned around, and Chloe saw that she wore a stuffed-full backpack.
“Run along, then. Mazikeen is in the car.”
Chloe crossed her arms over her chest, already reaching for Mom Look #6—Over My Dead Body. She was thwarted by Trixie hugging her as enthusiastically as she’d hugged Lucifer. “Merry Christmas, Mommy,” she said. “Don’t be grumpy.”
The suitcase, Chloe discovered a moment later, was for her. Lucifer preceded her up the stairs, dropped it on the bed—it was Louis Vuitton, of course—and said, “I suppose you haven’t a sexy Santa costume of your own, have you?”
“Oh, I do,” she replied, dead serious. “The beard really makes it.”
“Kinky,” he replied, disappearing into her bathroom and returning a moment later with an armful of her toiletries. “Leave this part to me, darling. Collect up the gifts you doubtless purchased in August and have had wrapped since September, and bring them out to the car.”
“What did she ask you for?”
Lucifer drew a mimed zipper across his lips.
“Please tell me she didn’t promise an IOU.”
“Nothing untoward, I assure you, Detective. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she grumbled, even as she relented and shuffled out into the hall to retrieve the gifts from the secret spot in the linen closet where they’d been hidden since July.
#
The snow started not long after they began climbing into the mountains. It fell in delicate, drifting flakes, swirling around the car like dancers caught up in some private music. In the back seat, Trixie gazed out the window, wide-eyed and awed into silence. Lucifer, driving, smiled so briefly as he glanced in the rear-view mirror that Chloe almost thought she’d imagined it. Maze opened her eyes, glowered, and closed them again, arms folded over her chest.
“Did she ask for snow?” Chloe asked. “Because if she did, you really delivered.”
Lucifer chuckled. “And you think I’d bestir myself for a few flakes of frozen water, Detective? I did mention the sexy Santas, did I not?”
“Repeatedly.”
The smile he gave her was neither brief nor secret. “The most wonderful time of the year,” he said, and Chloe rolled her eyes.
#
When they pulled up to the lodge, the snow had long-since changed from drifting and delicate to heavy and wet and so dense even Lucifer had slowed to below the speed limit. Still, the building in front of them was welcoming and bright, its many golden lights spilling out to brighten the snow-thick darkness. The lights, Chloe realized, were flickering. They were candles in the windows, dozens and dozens of candles; if the lodge had electricity, it wasn’t functioning at the moment.
“Wow!” cried Trixie. “Look at it, Mommy! It’s like a Christmas card! With real snow!” She practically vibrated with excitement. “Can I go play in it?”
“Trixie, babe, let’s get ourselves sett—”
“Ugh, Decker, you’re so boring.” Maze dug a small pair of mittens out of her pocket and handed them to Trixie; the gloves were followed by a woolen hat and a scarf as long as Trixie was tall. “Come on, little human. I’ll show you what a snowball’s chance in Hell really is.” Maze narrowed her eyes and grinned one of her more dangerous grins. “You’re going down, Decker.”
As Maze followed Trixie out into the snow, Chloe heard her daughter cry, “Maze! Let’s make snow angels!”
Maze hissed. “Only if we get to stab them.”
Chloe turned to help Lucifer with the bags, but a pair of uniformed valets had already appeared, and one was helping the other load their luggage onto a brass cart.
“We worried you wouldn’t make it, Mr. Morningstar. They’ve closed the roads behind you.”
“I was … determined,” Lucifer said, handing them each the kind of tip that probably made working over the Christmas holiday worthwhile. “The others?”
“Arrived hours ago. Shall I show you to your rooms?”
Lucifer nodded, and as Chloe fell into step with him, she asked quietly, “Others?”
“Your spawn was rather … specific, Detective.”
Before Chloe could question him further, she was—rather literally—silenced by the thwack of a snowball hitting the back of her head. Icy water trickled down her neck. Beside her, Lucifer dug into the pockets of his wool coat and retrieved a pair of gloves. He moved unhurriedly, gracefully; then he bent at the waist, retrieved a handful of snow that he packed into a compact ball, and sent it flying into the dark. A moment later, Mazikeen howled.
Lucifer offered his arm; Chloe took it, smiling up at him.  
#
The snow continued to fall. In the lodge, huge fires roared in the stone fireplaces, and hundreds of candles lit the surfaces. Instead of Mariah Carey or Michael Buble, live music supplied by a pianist and harpist filled the air. In one corner, an enormous Christmas tree was decorated like something out of a magazine; even without electric lights, it glimmered, beautiful baubles catching every flicker of firelight and throwing it back a thousand-fold. Instead of a star, an angel perched at the top of the tree, white-feathered wings outstretched. It had dark hair instead of the ubiquitous gold.
“Your touch?” Chloe asked.
Lucifer scowled. “Hardly.”
She bumped her shoulder against his, and he dropped a kiss to the top of her head.
He said, “We both know my fashion sense is superior in every way.”
She wondered if she could track down where the lodge had gotten their angel.
“So, this place. Last minute. Did someone owe you a favor?”
Lucifer chuckled. “I am capable of paying for things I desire, Detective.”
She blinked up at him. “But a place like this—”
“Well within the budget, I assure you.”
“Is there one?”
He grinned. “Of course not, darling.”
She looked around, not quite able to stop herself from detecting. “Are we the only people here?”
The grin widened. “Of course, darling.”
#
The others, as it happened, were Dan and Amenadiel and Charlotte and Ella and Linda; all, evidently, as surprised by the sudden all-expenses-paid winter wonderland trip as Chloe had been. After a Christmas Eve spent laughing and talking and sharing stories of Christmases past—Lucifer’s kept to PG-13 after the application of Mom Look #8: My Daughter Is Listening—they stumbled and wove their ways to their rooms. Trixie’s was wedged between Chloe’s and Dan’s; apparently part of the deal had been a room of her own with a balcony so she could watch the show fall and wait for Santa to come.
“Mommy,” Trixie said, already half-asleep, “I like snow at Christmastime.”
“So do I, Monkey,” Chloe said, kissing her daughter’s drowsy brow. “So do I.”
The next morning, after gifts had been unwrapped—far too many for Trixie, but Chloe couldn’t feel bad about anything that made her daughter so giddily happy—and brunch eaten, everyone tumbled out into the snow, engaging in a cutthroat every-being-for-themselves snowball war. Trixie won, though Chloe was fairly certain it was because every single adult helped her even as they were trying to murder each other via liberal application of frozen water.
Afterward, over drinks and laughter; still pink-cheeked with cold, Lucifer sat at the piano, and they ran through every carol they knew—and many Chloe didn’t. For once, Lucifer didn’t balk from mentions of his Father; he sang “O Holy Night” with—
Well. With the voice of an angel, really.
He even sang “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” for Trixie. Five times. And “Frosty, the Snowman” another four.
He grimaced when Amenadiel asked for “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” but he did it.
The kitchen, undaunted by their ongoing state of powerlessness, presented a Christmas dinner better than any Chloe’d ever had in her life. Everyone pulled Christmas crackers and wore silly tissue-paper crowns—even Lucifer. “Not quite a throne,” he murmured into her ear, while their friends laughed and drank and conversed. “But it will do.”
Later, when Chloe knocked on the door separating their adjoining rooms, Lucifer opened the door so quickly she half-thought he’d been standing on the other side, just waiting. Or perhaps he’d been about to knock on hers. She wore the red silk robe that had been one of his ridiculously extravagant gifts to her. His gaze softened and then burned hot; she slipped around him to stop herself from jumping him then and there.
“Drink, Detective?”
She nodded, hardly noticing what he poured her. She sat in front of his fireplace and didn’t bother covering the leg left bare by the way her robe fell. He sat on her other side, and she didn’t miss the way his gaze followed the long line of her bared thigh.
“So, now that it’s over, are you going to tell me what it was all about? This … deal you made with my daughter?”
“Who says it’s over?” Lucifer asked, voice low. She shifted as heat pooled in her belly and rose to her cheeks.
“Lucifer.”
“Though I suppose you are the only one who can say.”
“Lucifer.”
When he lifted his eyes to meet hers, her breath caught at the tenderness in them. “Did you have a good day, Detective?”
“You know I did.”
“But were you happy?”
Reaching out, she settled the pads of her fingertips feather-light against his cheekbone. “Yes,” she said, knowing he needed to hear the word. He turned his head just enough to press a kiss into her palm.
“Then Beatrice and I were successful.”
Her breath caught. “Lucifer…”
“She can be quite devious, your offspring.” He smiled. “Turning off the electricity was her idea.”
“And what does she owe you?”
“Oh,” he replied, eyes tracking from her face, down the V of her robe’s neck, and then up and down her leg. “I believe, in this instance, I am the one who owes her.”
Eyes prickling with tears, Chloe rose to her feet, the silk robe rippling around her. She drank down the last of the drink Lucifer had poured her before setting the glass down. Very, very slowly, Chloe untied the sash at her waist and let the robe drop from her shoulders.
Lucifer laughed.
Under the robe, she wore a tiny red and white costume that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
No beard.
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered, doing a little shimmy. He leaned back against the sofa, groaning, watching her with eyes so dark and intent she could feel herself melting in a way that had nothing to do with the fire at her back. “I’m not doing a can-can.”
“Ho ho ho,” replied Lucifer. “I ought to warn you—I’m most certainly on the naughty list.”
“Mmm,” said Chloe, crossing over and letting him pull her onto his lap. “I ought to warn you—so am I.”
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jae-bummer · 7 years ago
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Get Festive
Request: Can you please do #5 with Chanyeol? :)
5) Your idol likes Christmas songs a little too much and you’ve had enough.
Member: EXO’s Chanyeol x Y/N
Type: Fluff
Looking up to the sky, you shivered as snow flurries began to fall around you. Oftentimes you forgot how much you loved winter and the idea of snow, but it was an easy memory lapse. It only took a few minutes of actually standing in the weather to remind you just how much you loved to view the season from inside your home, where it was warm and dry. 
You could barely catch your breath as the wind cut through your chest. Gripping onto the oversized sweater Chanyeol had loaned you, you burrowed your chin even deeper into the scarf wrapped around your neck. It still wasn’t enough to keep you from feeling paper thin. At any second, you were certain that a gust of winter air could simply blow you away. You had sent Chanyeol to get his car from the parking garage at least fifteen minutes ago, so where was he?
As if on queue, you saw his large, Mercedes-Benz turn around the corner, towering over the cars around it. Chuckling to yourself, you thought the same thing you always did when he pulled up in his vehicle. It was a mirror of himself; tall, good-looking, and expensive. 
“Do you need a ride?” he grinned, rolling down his window to speak more clearly to you. 
“I know you’re trying to be cute, but I’m freezing my ass off,” you hissed, tugging on the handle of the car. Furrowing your brows, you tugged again, realizing that it was locked. “Unlock the car, Chanyeol.” 
“No one lacking that much holiday cheer is stepping foot into my vehicle,” he nodded serenely, beginning to roll the window back up. “I’ll wait.” 
“Chanyeol,” you said quietly, trying to remain calm. You glanced behind his car and to the growing number of other vehicles beginning to line up behind him in the street. “You’re holding up traffic.”
“No,” he shouted over his music. “You are.” 
You groaned, attempting to hide your face from the increasingly agitated crowd of cars lining the road. The longer you stood on the sidewalk, the more you heard horns and angry shouts directed your way. 
“Sorry!” he continued. “Can’t hear you over my holly jollies!”
“If you don’t let me in this damn car, guess who’s going to be alone under the mistletoe this year?” you hissed. 
“You’re never truly alone if the spirit of Christmas is in your heart-”
“Chanyeol!” you gasped, giving another tug on the car door. 
“Okay, okay,” he chuckled. “You’re going to rip off the handle.” 
“Thank you,” you grumbled, finally launching yourself into his car. You nearly had to take a running jump to get into the unnecessary and huge vehicle, causing Chanyeol to grin even wider. Securing yourself with the seat belt, you felt like a child as your legs dangled from the seat. He honestly owned the biggest car you had ever seen in the entirety of your life. 
“What took you so long anyway?” you pouted. “The parking garage honestly isn’t that far away.”
“Oh, I couldn’t find the Christmas station on the radio,” he hummed happily, pulling away from the curb. “But then I figured I could just pull up a playlist and plugged my phone in instead.” 
“...it was really that urgent?” you asked, lifting your brows. “To find the appropriate radio station?”
“Y/N,” he clucked. “How do you expect me to go Christmas shopping with you if we don’t have Christmas music playing?”
“Who said we’re Christmas shopping?” you huffed. “I thought we were going to pick up a few things from the store and-”
“Silly, Y/N,” he chuckled. “Any shopping done in December is technically Christmas shopping. Everyone knows that.”
“So I’m not touching that argument,” you hummed, rolling your eyes. “But aren’t you sick of Christmas music yet? Every time I come over to the dorm, that’s all that’s playing. And as a side note, there is literally tinsel everywhere, which you need to do something about...but back to the topic at hand, if I have to hear your ringtone one more ti-”
“If you’re about to insult the musical masterpiece that is Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas’,” he hissed quietly, sticking a finger into the air to silence you. “I will respectively have to ask you to vacate my vehicle.” 
You leaned your head against the car window and heaved as obnoxious of a sigh as you could. You loved Christmas just as much as the next person, but Chanyeol seemed to take it to a level you would never be able to match. To his core, he was a holiday person. It didn’t matter which one, if there was a holiday on the calendar, you could guarantee that Chanyeol would be celebrating it to it’s fullest. 
“Your ridiculous,” you muttered after a moment of silence. 
“Ridiculously full of Christmas spirit!” he cheered. 
“Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing, ring-ting, tingle-ing toooo,” Chanyeol sang happily, his hand encased in yours. With his free hand, he balanced several rolls of wrapping paper on his shoulder, and wiggled his hips as he sang. “Take it, Y/N!” 
“Uh...” you trailed, looking up in surprise and confusion. “Come on, something sleigh ride with yoooou.” 
Chanyeol paused before spinning on his heel to face you more directly. “You didn’t even try,” he pouted. 
“How can I try when I legitimately don’t know the words to the song,” you complained, attempting to pull your hand from his. He held on even tighter, gazing at you sternly. 
“Y/N, your lack of holiday-”
“Cheer is really bumming you out,” you grumbled. “Yeah, I’ve heard, Chanyeol. You remind me every time I forget the words to Carol of the Bells, which there are a lot of by the way. Or anytime I don’t dance down an isle with you when Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer starts playing. I just wasn’t made to Christmas as well as you, okay?” 
“That may be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Do not put a cap on your Christmas potential,” he hummed. “You’ve just...you’ve just got to try harder!” 
He nodded happily as he turned away from you again and began walking toward the exit of the department store you had somehow wandered into. He really wasn’t lying when he had mentioned that any shopping trip in December doubled as Christmas shopping. You hadn’t planned on it, but ended up buying three rolls of wrapping paper just for your own use, as well as a cat-themed, ugly Christmas sweater. 
“How can I try harder?” you groaned, dragging your feet alongside him. “I’ve accepted my fate. Why can’t you?” 
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” he smiled, glancing at some last minute bargains near the front entrance of the store. “But I am a Christmas person.” 
“You could’ve fooled me,” you croaked. “Really, I had no idea.” 
“Let’s roll back the sarcasm,” he chuckled. “But it is near impossible for me to not spread the happiness that is Christmas to everyone I know. You and the members especially. You’re the lucky ones who I care about the most and see most often.” 
“Side-question,” you nodded. “Not to derail your whole motivational speech about the holiday season, but how does Kyungsoo feel about the constant, blasting Christmas music? Or Sehun? Suho?” 
“We’re musicians, Y/N,” Chanyeol scoffed, abandoning his search for sales and finally leaving the store. 
“You think that answers the question, but it does not,” you chuckled. 
“Alright, they hate it, okay?” he sighed. “Happy?”
Chanyeol’s facial expression immediately melted into a pout as he dropped your hand and began to stalk haughtily to his car. The winter air hit your knuckles and reminded you that his warmth was no longer yours to benefit from. You knew it took a lot for Chanyeol to actually detangle from you, so the idea that you had soured his mood, soured your own. 
“I really want to say ‘no,’“ you said quietly, trailing behind him. “But...uh...I don’t like lying to you.” 
“Why do you all hate Christmas so much?” he groaned, yanking open his car door and tossing in his bags with little care. “What did it ever do to you?” 
“I don’t hate it,” you sighed, sliding into the passenger side. “I’m just not as enthusiastic as you are.”
Turning his car on, Chanyeol instantly plugged in his phone, and dropped it into the cupholder. His Christmas playlist appeared on the screen and immediately began blasting another cover of some miscellaneous song you had only ever heard while spending time with him. Trying to keep yourself from giving him an inevitable side eye, you chose to look out the window instead. 
The snow had already begun falling harder than it had only moments ago, coating everything in a heavy powder. You chewed on your lip, uneasy with the thought that you were taking the wind out of your boyfriend’s sails. You just didn’t know how to get on his level sometimes. 
“I know what you’re thinking,” he grumbled, his disappointed tone cutting through the silence. 
“You don’t,” you insisted. “You are a man of many talents, but being a mind reader is not one of them.” 
“You’re thinking about how exhausting I am,” he nodded. “And how exhausting my music is.” 
“Not YOUR music,” you smiled, turning slowly toward him. “Just your musical taste...your...seasonal, musical taste.” 
Chanyeol stuck out his lower lip as he placed both hands on the wheel, no signs of movement in his motions. You continued to chew on your lip as you sighed and turned toward him. Setting your hand lightly on his arm, with your opposite hand, you poked him gently on his cheek. 
“Don’t be sad,” you cooed, switching your role. You knew you had hurt his feelings, but you were truly overwhelmed with how much holiday cheer he had been throwing at you lately. He wasn’t lying when he said he had a case of the holly jollies, and you just hadn’t caught it yet. 
“I’m not sad,” he whispered. 
“You are,” you nodded. “And that’s okay. I’m being a pain, but you have to be patient with me.”
“I just want you to feel as magical in December as I do,” he said quietly. “When I listen to Christmas music, it reminds me of being a kid. It brings back joy and happy memories...and I guess, I’ve never really considered if it has the same effect on everyone.” 
“I’m sure it does for a lot of people,” you hummed. “Just...take it a little easy. You don’t want to overdose on Christmas. We’re not even two weeks into December yet.” 
“It’s been longer than that,” he argued, shaking his head. 
“For you,” you laughed. “You put up the Christmas tree the week of Chuseok.” 
“...I was all alone in the dorm, what do you want from me?” he grumbled. 
You swallowed and kept your argument in your throat. Since debut, you were certain Chanyeol had spent plenty of Christmases alone, or simply with a few members. It was understandable that the music of the season brought up so many emotions and reminded him of his family. Some years, Christmas music might have been all that he had, and you needed to understand that. 
No matter how much you didn’t want to hear another cover of Silent Night. 
“I want you to continue being the spectacular Christmas tree that is Park Chanyeol,” you grinned. “Whether that means I have to listen to hours of Christmas music or not.” 
“Really?” he asked cautiously. “You mean that?” 
“For the most part,” you winced. 
“Thanks, Y/N,” he nodded, leaning over and placing a light kiss on your temple. “Now let’s get festive.”
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deadcactuswalking · 4 years ago
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 05/12/2020
Earlier this week, I finished and released by end-of-year list of the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2020, which, for once, was on time, being released on the 1st – or 2nd – of December, depending on your time zone. That means I’ve already spent hours discussing music, and to be honest, I have a pretty bad headache in addition to this, so you know, I’m not really in that chart-reviewing spirit. Thankfully, we have very few songs to review here, and a lot of it should be pretty inoffensive. Now, before that, let’s talk about the actual state of the charts because it is looking ridiculous. Ariana Grande’s “positions” spend its sixth week at #1, and welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
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Rundown
Much like last week, it was an absolute bloodbath for any non-Christmas song this week, and this especially affects the hip hop and R&B on the chart. In the UK Top 75, which I cover every week, there’s a drastic difference to the US Billboard Hot 100, and that is the lack of radio. Radio impressions or plays have never been counted on the UK Singles Chart, and whilst in the States, I understand that a lot of Christmas songs rely on the radio, this is not true at all across the pond, because, for whatever reason, Christmas songs are streamed and bought a lot here even 60 years after the song’s original release. This is likely due to a smaller, arguably less diverse population and the immense amount of streaming service-curated playlists, which serve the same purpose as radio and often have the exact same label gimmickry and payola. Regardless, there is a stupid amount of drop-outs and fallers this week, for pretty big tracks as well. Now as I said I only cover the top 75 of the UK Singles Chart because it’s just easier and really, who cares about those last 25 songs? On the UK Singles Chart proper, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved”, one of the biggest hits of 2019 and 2020, just spent its 100th week on the chart, which is insane, especially for a modern song. I think the song is dreadful but it is one of the biggest songs of all time here on the Isles, and since we’re going by my measures, it just dropped out (after spending seven weeks at #1, mind you). Of course, that’s not the only notable drop-out – and to be notable, you have to have spent five weeks on the chart or peaked in the top 40 – this week. Let’s list them, shall we? We have “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, which spent 40 weeks on the chart, as well as #1 hit “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” by Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo, “Holiday” by Little Mix, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST, “Confetti” by Little Mix, “pov” by Ariana Grande (to make way for another one of her songs we’ll get to – also probably the only actually good song that dropped out this week) and finally, “Life Goes On” by BTS off of the debut at #10. On the chart proper, this is one of the biggest free-fall drops of all time, and honestly, who wasn’t expecting this? Speaking of falls, we have a lot of those too. Whilst these are fallers, you should consider how impressive they are for even trying to survive the holiday season, which just can’t be done for a lot of these songs, even the biggest hits of the year, some of which we just mentioned. One of the funniest parts of this to me is that KSI of all people survived the overload of Christmas songs through his Craig David chorus on “Really Love” with Digital Farm Animals down to #17. For a former YouTuber, he has an immense amount of star-power and it’s kind of worrying. Otherwise, our notable fallers include “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #24, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #25 (not a good week for either of these guys – or anyone), “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #26 off of the top 10 debut, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #27, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #29, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd stripped of all of its gains at #31 (seriously, whilst most of these songs were fading naturally prior, this is worrying), “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #34, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #42 (giving him four songs as a lead artist on the chart – OCC, that’s not how your dumb rules work; be consistent), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio really having the most intense combination of streaming cuts and Christmas music at #44, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes flailing at #45 (it will probably rebound next week), “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46 (same here), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #47, “Loading” by Central Cee at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #49, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #50, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #52, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch at #55, “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer at #56, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #60 (which happened to play as I was writing this), “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #61, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #62, “Diamonds” by Sam Smith having the biggest fall to #63, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #65, “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #69, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan at #70, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #71 and finally, “Flavour” by Loski and Stormzy at #74. A YouTube comment on the video version of this chart read, “RIP to hip hop and R&B in the UK, 2020-2020”, and, I mean, it’s a fair assessment. That’s not all though, folks, as we have the returning entries, most of which are very explicitly Christmas songs. Let’s start with “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #75, and continue up the chart with “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #73, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #72 (always the best song on the entire chart whenever it returns), “A Little Love” by Celeste from the John Lewis advert at #64, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #54, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by the late Dean Martin at #54, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #52, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #43, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by the late John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #40 (always the worst song on the chart whenever it returns), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #39 (this is an accurate ranking of the Beatles), “Jingle Bell Rock” by the late Bobby Helms at #38, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #37 and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by the late Andy Williams at #36. Yes, that’s five consecutive Christmas songs returning to the top 40, made all the more ridiculous when you realise it’s topped off by “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X... at #41 – and it actually gained this week! Oh, and we don’t stop there either as not only do we have “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande returning to #16 as well, but we also have all of the gains this week. All of our notable gains are in the top 40 and all but one are Christmas songs, so let’s start with “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis up to #33 (our greatest gain this week) and continue up the chart with “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #32, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard at #23, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #22, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber and Brenda Lee at #21 and #19 respectively, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #20, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #18, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #15 (looking at this chart, I think we ALL know exactly what time it is), “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #14, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #13, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #9, “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #3, and finally, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #2. I don’t know if I’ll be happier if a 1994 classic hits #1 for the first time this Christmas, or an Ariana Grande song about sex positions takes the Christmas #1, given, of course, that LadBaby doesn’t pull something out of his ass last minute. Christmas also actually lands on a Friday this week, so there’s potentially two Christmas #1s: the #1 on Christmas Day and the #1 that includes Christmas Day. I mean, there’s this issue every year but since the chart week literally starts and ends on the day this year, I guess we’ll just have to see what the Official Charts Company decides. For now, after not-so-swiftly covering all of that garbage – and there’s three weeks more of it to come, folks – let’s discuss some of our new arrivals, none of which I imagine will be all that interesting but, hey, at least they’re not Christmas songs. In fact...
NEW ARRIVALS
#68 – “Body” – Megan Thee Stallion
Produced by LilJuMadeThatBeat
...It’s the antithesis of what it means to be wholesome, commercial and festive. You all know and love Megan Thee Stallion by now, and whilst I didn’t listen to that debut record yet – it is 17 songs after all – I have heard pretty positive reception so I will check out Good News at some point. Rico Nasty did release a record that’s only one less track and 13 full minutes shorter, so to be honest, I’m a lot more excited to check out that album, even if it won’t have any impact here. I did laugh at the track list when I saw “Intercourse (feat. Popcaan & Mustard)” though, which is one of the few times I have genuinely laughed at just a track list. “Shots Fired” is a pretty great Tory Lanez diss track though, so I’ll say that. “Body” is relatively deep into the track listing, yet seems to be the biggest hit, mostly because of that polarising earworm hook and the music video. Oh, yeah, and it straight-up samples a woman having an orgasm, so don’t expect this to stick around. In fact, that’s the only melody behind this dirty South bounce-adjacent track, and even with that, it only comes in on that chorus, which is less annoying to me as it is just catchy. It’s not like men haven’t done the same thing, though, I mean, Dr. Dre famously – or infamously – “paused 4 porno” on his album 2001, and just in 2018, Kanye released “XTCY”, a song that is hilariously lacking in any kind of moral compass, let alone born-again Christianity. It did the same thing that “Body” does with the moaning yet it also covers it in this really eerie sample, as well as spare 808s and a drum beat that doesn’t feel like it gets in the way of whatever the hell Kanye’s doing on this track. It also helps that the moaning doesn’t just come in on the chorus, instead we have a string swell to distinguish it, and that Kanye has more of a comical lyrical nature on “XTCY”. This comparison is only fair when looking at the production, though, as whilst Kanye has “sick thoughts”, Megan is just bragging about her own body-ody-ody-ody-ody, etc. over a pretty mainstream, accessible beat, even if it has really ugly, loud 808s that kind of do get in the way of the rapping here. Thankfully, Megan rides this beat forcefully – no pun intended – and with some really great wordplay, even if there are a few immediately dated references here and there. That third verse is also pretty funny, and whilst I don’t want to focus too much on this song – it’s a family show after all – this is pretty lively and whilst I’m not a fan of this beat, Megan makes it worth sitting through and honestly, the song sounds a lot shorter than it is. Check it out.
#67 – “Love is a Compass” – Griff
Produced by PARKWILD
I didn’t say the word “compass” on purpose knowing this song would be next, although perhaps I subconsciously snuck the word in. Maybe I should have made it seem like I foreshadowed this song, but honestly what about this warrants foreshadowing? I don’t mind Disney music at all. In fact, a lot of the films are full of really classic compositions that have aged incredibly, including the Renaissance era of their films, especially. In fact, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan – the original – is one of the few soundtrack songs that is directly related to and featured in the film yet I can still listen to outside of that context. I’ve not even watched either Mulan – or have Disney+ - so it’s not like I’m a big fan, but I can appreciate the music when I find it, even if I mostly despise everything Disney stands for as a company. The issue with this is that it cannot apply to “Love is a Compass”. I’m sure Griff and her producer PARKWILD are talented musicians, but this is purely a product. This wasn’t even made for an original animated feature, or a painfully weak adaptation of one of their original animated features starring Will Smith as the Genie. This is a generic piano ballad made for an advert, because just like literal shops and manufacturing companies like John Lewis, Disney has a Christmas advert. There’s nothing artistic about this. This “emotional” piano ballad is layered in reverb and egregious Auto-Tune that drains Griff of whatever emotion her delivery could have had. It doesn’t sound good in this context at all and it is so obvious, which is unfortunate because her voice, Auto-Tuned in a similar way, could easily work over more lo-fi and interesting production. As it is, this is repulsive, sonically and on every other level beyond that.
#66 – “Angels Like You” – Miley Cyrus
Produced by Louis Bell and watt
So, Miley Cyrus dropped her album, Plastic Hearts, last week and I expected more impact on the chart but the two singles are really THAT big that not any of the album cuts had much of a chance, even if “Prisoner” dropped a few spaces. Other than that, “Midnight Sky” is still in the top five and near the end of the chart, we have a debut: “Angels Like You”. It’s clear why this charted because this isn’t just a highlight from the album or a personal favourite of mine, but it’s a fan favourite honestly, a career highlight – which may not be hard to make, I mean, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about – but it still impresses me with how much I really love this song. This is more of a mellow ballad than many of the tracks surrounding it on the record, with Cyrus’ raspy country twang finally met with a fitting blend of acoustic guitars and a genuine orchestral swell in the chorus, even if at times it decides to start clipping. The shift in guitar tone to a dirtier, aggressive one after the first chorus is a genius touch, and even the pretty stiff drum machine here feels like it adds a lot to the power of this song, especially when it starts kicking behind the screeching guitar solo, leading into an admittedly anti-climactic final chorus... that might even be fitting for the content, which is a break-up song but not one that decides to deflect blame or even focus entirely on the break-up, rather being an acknowledgement of what both parties here did wrong, and why they ended up in the relationship to begin with. Both Cyrus and her ex-girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter were in rough spots coming off of previous relationships in late 2019 and those dark spots are what Cyrus understands lead to the collapse of this relationship. She discusses the lack of connection between the two in the first verse, leading to a literally nameless relationship where it was full of romantic gestures but not any depth. The chorus is a complex look at how Cyrus knew she would look back on the relationship as little more than a fling, but how she regrets that this is her only view of the relationship. She didn’t want anything more and split after things started getting too serious, and feels genuine guilt for using Carter to heal her own depression, because “misery needs company”. She uses the biblical metaphor to demonstrate how she feels she tugged down her girlfriend, described here as an “angel”, to the hell Cyrus thinks she resides in, which may be melodramatic, sure, but I’d be lying if I said Cyrus doesn’t completely sell it here, with some of her best vocals to date, backed up by gorgeous production and really well-written lyrics. This is a genuinely brilliant ballad, give it a listen.
#58 – “Naughty List” – Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio
Produced by TMS
I’ve been writing these producers as “TM5” for so long without realising it’s an abbreviation for “The Music Shed”. Anyway, I hope we can all agree that Liam Payne is probably the worst off when comparing the One Direction boys and their solo careers so far. Harry Styles is one of the biggest stars in the world, making a twist on 70s classic rock that I don’t like at all but he IS making headlines and having massive chart success. Niall Horan is having mild success making rock and folk albums that are honestly alright, ZAYN has two albums under his belt that may not be listenable but at least the first one was a success and he did go into a more mature R&B direction, and Louis Tomlinson might not have been met with any success from his album earlier this year but at least there’s some quality there. Liam Payne, however, has been releasing straight garbage to no fanfare for the past three years, dating back to “Strip that Down” with Quavo, and continuing down the path of feigning maturity and development with music clearly not backing it up, demonstrated by the bisexual fetishism on his delayed debut album and how his collaborations went from relying on Zedd to relying on J Balvin to relying on TikTok stars on a sexually-charged Christmas single that couldn’t even crack the top 50. I have no idea who Dixie D’Amelio is other than seeing her sister’s controversies on Twitter in passing, but it is depressing that a major-label pop star needs D’Amelio to chart this high – and no, given his most recent singles with bigger features like A Boogie wit da Hoodie and Cheat Codes, as well as the shoddy performance of his last Christmas song, I’m not even considering that it’s the other way around. This immediately, in its first 15 seconds, makes sure you know this will be awful, with its tedious acoustic guitar strumming fused with cheap sounding sleigh bells and dated trap percussion, even with little “hey!” gang vocals straight out of 2014 that make this sound a lot less new and fresh than I think Payne thought it did. Also, something about these lyrics sounds really odd when you consider the age gap between the two vocalists. I mean, D’Amelio’s 19 years old, so it’s not like this is illegal in any way (and they didn’t have any chemistry to begin with), but the childlike imagery in the chorus just makes this gross. “Santa saw the things we did and put us on the naughty list”? This has less subtlety than 3OH!3’s Christmas song they released this year. Yes, that happened, and somehow the two washed-up early 2010s pop stars made a “dirty” Christmas song that is miles better than Liam Payne’s, probably because of the more interesting lyrical detail, and that, you know, it isn’t a duet. Check out “KISSELTOE” if you’re interested, it’s really good. I liked their comeback single with 100 gecs too so I’m pretty excited for whatever comes out of 3OH!3’s recent productivity. This song, on the other hand, as well as the upcoming joke, is just Payne-full.
#53 – “No Time for Tears” – Nathan Dawe and Little Mix
Produced by Tré Jean-Marie and Nathan Dawe
Okay, so, I understand the marketing of releasing a single after a long time of not releasing a single and after your singles have all dropped out of the chart, but Little Mix are just being managed horribly here. Why would you release a single in the Christmas season that you want to be big? This isn’t a holiday song in any way and doesn’t even sound like one, so releasing it this early into the Christmas season is just begging for it to be forgotten and eventually flop. Nathan Dawe is an EDM DJ so he doesn’t need this type of promotion as long as he can tour next year and he’s got big features, and Little Mix don’t need any extra singles because they’re still in the top 10 and they’ve branched out to reality television. Just let the girls breathe for a second and enjoy their success. Oh, and this song isn’t just logistically unnecessary, it’s sonically unnecessary, acting as a house-pop club banger with that standard piano sound reminiscent of 90s house that has been adopted recently by DJs, with any of the infectious melodies and genuine drive sucked out of it, especially if Dawe is going to add a Goddamn trap breakdown in the second verse with the most pathetic set of percussion I’ve heard in years on a house track. It’s not like Little Mix are saving this either because the lyrical content is re-tread and their performances are largely unrecognisable from each other and songs they’ve made before. Yeah, this isn’t offensive, but it isn’t interesting, outside of that bridge, but even then it builds up perfectly to a chorus that’s interrupted by a pointless, repetitious interlude. This song isn’t just uninteresting, it’s inherently unnecessary on all fronts, which if anything, is just kind of sad.
#35 – “All You’re Dreaming Of” – Liam Gallagher
Produced by Simon Aldred and Andrew Wyatt
Surely out of all of these songs, I’d have the most to say about our top 40 debut, with Liam Gallagher, former frontman of legendary rock band Oasis,  and his new lead single, right? Well, no, because here are some unfortunate truths: Oasis made two good albums, and they’re not as good as you remember. Liam Gallagher is an awful person who continued to rip off his own band with his new one, without the songwriting ability his brother Noel had. Liam continues to be persistent in his making of enemies for no other reason than publicity. Noel’s reaching out to Liam for the sake of at least reconciliation goes completely unnoticed, ignored or criticised by Liam for no discernable reason other than an on-and-off again facade that’s been going on for more than a decade. Noel wasn’t even that great of a songwriter, relying mostly on musicianship and other people’s melodies he liked to co-opt for his own tracks. None of their solo work has been listenable yet still gathers attention that I imagine is to the dismay of those other band members in Oasis who, ultimately, made those classic albums as much as the Gallaghers. Where’s the praise for Bonehead, Guigsy or even Gem Archer, who stuck it out despite decreasing popularity, utter lack of musical quality and increasing tensions between the people who kept the band afloat until they decided to break up? Both Noel and Liam look at Oasis with regret or admiration depending on how they feel that day but when you look at who REALLY won that Britpop battle tabloids liked to hype up in the 1990s, you realise how far away Oasis was from Blur or even Pulp in terms of not only their songs but having their stuff together. This new song is complete garbage as well, with a pretty awful mixing job, Liam being as distinctively nasal and infuriating as he is with any of his songs let alone his uninteresting ballads, and the COVID-19 charity pandering that comes off as really false, especially since even after Noel released an Oasis track this year as a result of the lockdown – and Liam whining about how he wants to bring the band together to help the NHS – he criticised the honest release of the demo, which Noel wrote and sang himself. It’s also especially telling how the proceeds are only going to benefit charity for its first month of release. Afterwards, Liam and the label can scrape up whatever leftover streams they get from diehard fans. I don’t like Band Aid at all, in fact the song is pretty damn rancid, but at least they keep on recording updated versions to give to modern charities. Liam, you’ve got a bank account the average Manchurian would dream of. This charity single is a fraud, and a pretty hypocritical, immoral one at that.
Conclusion
I think on principle on how fake it is and how awful the song is, I have to give Worst of the Week to Gallagher... but I have a rule against crowning any kind of charity single with that title. At the end of the day, at least something at some point is going to the people who need it. Worst of the Week in that case goes to “Naughty List” by Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio, with a Dishonourable Mention to the product that is Griff’s “Love is a Compass”. Best of the Week should be obvious as it’s going to Miley Cyrus for “Angels Like You”, with an Honourable Mention to Megan Thee Stallion’s “Body”. Here’s this week’s top 10:
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May I remind you this is the first week of December? Anyway, I doubt Shawn Mendes will make anything through the barrage of holiday tracks, but if he does, that’s next week. Thank you for reading and follow me at @cactusinthebank for more ramblings of this sort, I suppose. See you next week!
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wendyhermansongeller · 7 years ago
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Lindsey Stirling explains the magic behind her 'whimsical, different' Christmas album
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When violinist Lindsey Stirling decided to release an album of Christmas music, choosing a theme of the most magical time of year seemed a perfect fit for the performer. After all, the lithe viral sensation already has a resume of unforgettable music videos featuring her in a variety of dreamy visual scenarios, with her ethereal violin work all poured over the top. Who would be better to take on the fantasy of the season? Fans seem to agree. Stirling’s album, Warmer in the Winter (which dropped in October) debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s Classical Crossover Chart, No. 9 on the Digital Albums Chart, and No. 32 on the Top 200 Album Chart; and continues to perform admirably in a year that saw an exorbitant amount of new Christmas releases. Stirling’s careful curation includes 10 holiday classics (both secular and non-secular) as well as three original numbers she penned herself.
It was a labor of love that kept her quite busy — in an already busy 2017 that hasn’t let up even in the final weeks of December. Indeed, Stirling’s schedule is so packed at the end of the year that she almost (just almost) seems to forget that Christmas is just around the corner.
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When asked about her Christmas plans, she seemed a little dumbfounded for a second. “Let’s see, what am I doing for Christmas?” Stirling wondered, before joking, “I hope I have plans. Just kidding!” As it turns out, she’ll be wrapping her holiday tour Dec. 23 in her home state of Arizona, and is looking forward to what sounds like very nice plans directly afterward: A big traditional family gathering, plus a well-deserved couple of weeks off.
Before rushing back into her swirl of activity, Stirling took a few minutes to chat with Yahoo Entertainment about the challenges and rewards of recording a Christmas album, as well as her experience on Dancing With the Stars (where she placed as first runner-up even after suffering a painfully debilitating rib injury).
Yahoo: This is your first Christmas album. What put it in your head to approach a full-length holiday release this year?
I wanted to do a Christmas album for years. Every year I do a Christmas song and put it on my YouTube channel, just throw it out there to the world. They’ve always done really well, and fans have always really liked them. So, just the idea of getting to add to people’s Christmas memories with my own music was such an exciting thing. There’s so many Christmas albums that I have that tie me back to my childhood and family traditions; they bring back these very tangible memories. So it was like, it would be really awesome if my rendition of these holiday songs could possibly become a part of other people’s memories, in the ways other artists helped create my memories.
What Christmas albums are your personal favorites? 
Mannheim Steamroller’s albums were my favorites, I loved those as a kid. Still to this day I hear those songs and I get so happy, even though they’re completely dated. I’m like “No, I love them, they’re lit!” Michael Buble as well — you can’t beat Michael Buble. Mariah Carey. And my new favorite from last year was Jordan Smith, from The Voice. He had a killer Christmas album last year that got added to my holiday favorites.
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This year had literally dozens of Christmas album releases, from all genres, and from quite a few big names in addition to your own. Were you surprised at how well your album did even in the midst of such unusual holiday competition? 
Yeah, I was talking to my manager just yesterday, “How’s it doing?” — the overall scheme, not just on iTunes — and I was shocked to hear how well it’s done on all the different platforms. Because, yeah. Gwen Stefani, Sia, just to name two, but those are two of the biggest artists out there. So to hear that my little album was doing so well in this sea of new music–that’s really cool!
How challenging was it to narrow down a list of selections for a holiday album? There are hundreds and hundreds of Christmas songs out there to choose from! Did you find it intimidating at all when first facing the task?
It was a whole different type of challenge than writing an original album. I didn’t realize until I started exactly how challenging it would be. It was like, oh my goodness, there’s so many songs … and there’s also so many different types of Christmas “flavor.” Religious, secular, fun…there’s the jolly, and then there’s the emotional. So it was really kind of a fun challenge, and I decided I wanted to fulfill all the different buckets. I wanted songs that make you want to dance, I wanted songs that make you feel classic — the way Frank Sinatra does. And I wanted some songs that felt whimsical and magical. Once I made these buckets, I filled them in, and I picked a couple different songs for each bucket. It was really fun; really different from anything I’d ever done.
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But…how did you choose?!
[Laughs] I literally spent a week and a half just sitting on my couch listening to Christmas music. I literally didn’t leave the couch for almost two weeks. Just figuring out playlists and putting together spreadsheets–treating it almost like it was a big math problem.
Given that this was a pretty big and different project overall, what was the most difficult aspect for you personally about creating the album? 
There’s only one track on the album that’s electronic, that has no instrumentation on it, which is really different for me. In the past, all my albums have been completely synthetic — done on the computer, and I play over them. And so it was really cool this time to work with a full orchestra. We went to Capitol Records and recorded some amazing big-band players — trumpet, saxophone, live drums. It was so different, not only the recording process, but also the writing process.
Do you have a favorite song on the record, or one you felt you put a special amount of work into? 
“Angels We Have Heard on High” was one of the more special songs to me. It’s one of my favorite Christmas songs for the meaning behind it, and it’s very close to my heart. So I really wanted that one to be special, and it turned into my favorite on the album, but it took a little bit of work to get it there. I wanted it to be almost like a film score, so you could see something while you listened to it. But in order to make it sound really special, it took quite a bit of time to figure out what exactly it was going to be.
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Were there any Christmas songs you wanted to include, but couldn’t make them work for whatever reason? Any runners-up? 
There were plenty that I loved that didn’t make it on, but the one that I tried several times to figure out and it just wasn’t coming to me was “Mary Did You Know.” I originally had it on my “definitely going to be on the album” list, but it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t figure out how to make it my own and make it special. So, that was one of the ones I had to set aside. But instead I ended up writing [original song] “I Saw Three Ships,” which came as a last-minute idea, and it turned into one of my favorites.
Where do you feel you made the greatest creative leap, or pushed the envelope the most, on this record? 
Stylistically, for me, I’ve never done big-band music before. So that was a bit of a risk. Because it’s unlike electronic music — where if you hear it and if you don’t want to use it, it’s pretty much you and a computer and a producer, and you can decide not to use it. Big-band style music, we actually had to get into a room with the arranger, and record with the band–you really have to invest in something like that. You can’t just be like “Well, those three songs, we’re just not going to use them,” after you’ve recorded it and paid all those musicians. It was a big risk because I’ve never done it, but I really wanted to do it because it’s a big side of Christmas music. I’m really glad we did. Violin with trumpet and horns and saxophones–it’s definitely a little different to have a violin featured in that way.
You’re out on the road now and seems like everything is great, but just to put fans’ minds at ease — has your rib injury completely healed? You’re feeling okay and fine? There were so many concerning reports about the severity of it, even though you managed to finish Dancing With the Stars. 
It was quite amazing how quickly it healed! I was in pretty severe pain for about two and a half weeks, and then it began to subside and become more manageable. And now I don’t even think about it. I’m 100% better, which is such a miracle and such a relief, because when the injury happened I honestly wondered if I would have to cancel the beginning of my tour until I got better. It hurt so badly to play, to move. But amazingly enough, nothing got canceled, I made it through Dancing With the Stars somehow, and worked through it. And I feel all better!
Speaking of Dancing With the Stars, you did so well on the show. Any plans to return to reality TV in some form or another?
I’d definitely decided i was done with reality TV forever after America’s Got Talent (in 2010). I was like, “Nope, never going back there.” But Dancing With the Stars was such a different style of reality TV. It was a night and day difference from my experience on America’s Got Talent — just the way you were treated, it’s pretty straightforward, they’re not trying to make you look or act a certain way. You just are who you are and they capture it. I don’t think I’ll be doing any more reality TV now, I think I’m done with it, but I did love doing Dancing With the Stars. I learned so much and had so much fun.
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deadcactuswalking · 6 years ago
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 2nd December 2018
Finally, we’ve gotten to December – this’ll be a busy month for me considering all the end-of-year lists and such, but it’s also the holiday season, so let’s look at how the charts reflect that jolly spirit? Oh, a new 6ix9ine song? Okay, well, we’ll get to that in a bit. Welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
Top 10
Staying at the top for a fourth week today is “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, which has recently been knocked off in the US by “SICKO MODE”, but it’s still reigning pretty strong here.
The runner-up spot hasn’t shifted either, as “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is still at number-two.
Actually moving this week, however, is “Thursday” by Jess Glynne, up only one space whilst still entering the top 3 at number-three.
Also climbing this week is “Without Me” by Halsey, now at number-four after a two-spot increase.
Unfortunately, this means “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper has suffered, being pushed down two spaces since last week to number-five.
At number-six, after an initial surge due to TikTok and Snapchat, we have Ava Max somewhat proving longevity here with her first ever UK Top 10 hit, up seven spots from last week, “Sweet but Psycho”. Congratulations.
“Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo hasn’t moved at number-seven.
“ZEZE” by Kodak Black, Travis Scott and Offset is actually up two spots to number-eight this week. “Guess we all made for each other”, whatever that means in the context of the song – listen, I reviewed the song in full and any time I’ve heard it since have felt like A-level physics tests, without any equation sheets.
“Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee from the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack is down a spot to number-nine.
Finally, to round off our top 10, Freya Ridings’ “Lost without You” is down a space to #10.
Climbers
Surprisingly on this slow week, we have quite a handful here. George Ezra’s “Hold My Girl” is obviously up eight spaces after the single push to #25, nearby “Baby” by Clean Bandit featuring Marina and Luis Fonsi up six spots to #26 – which will also get the album boost next week. “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes continues to rise ten positions to #27 (and I couldn’t be happier for it), while “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is up 11 spaces, taking me by surprise to #29. I didn’t necessarily think this would catch on that well, but I guess clubs are interested so I’m not going to be complaining – I like the song.
Fallers
Wow, we have much less of these than I expected. I knew it was a slow week but most slow weeks at least come with a lot more fallers than gains, yet we just have a spoonful. “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora gets its streaming cut that takes it down nine or so pegs to #14, while The Greatest Showman hype dies down for P!nk’s “A Million Dreams” and James Arthur and Anne-Marie’s “Rewrite the Stars”, down five and one positions respectively at #16 and #17 – this isn’t happening soon enough, frankly. Since “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill couldn’t possibly have a streaming cut, I’m just going to assume it absolutely collapsed this week down a whopping 23 spots to #37. Yikes.
Dropouts
“Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker drops out again from its #36 return last week, while of course “Broken Homes” by Nafe Smallz, M Huncho and Gunna is out from #38 as that type of grime-trap never does all too well unless it’s named after a Cadbury chocolate apparently. “Strip” by Little Mix featuring Sharaya J is also unfortunately out from #25, whilst the hilariously awful “No Stylist” by French Montana featuring Drake is taken with it from #22. “The Greatest Show” covered by Panic! at the Disco is also expectedly out from #39, but otherwise that’s all. Now, let’s get to the bigger story.
Returning Entries
Okay, cool, “Remember Us This Way” by Lady Gaga is back at #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is back at #40, but the main headline is of course going to be the start of the influx of Christmas music. While I may need to deal with more of this when I potentially change the format next year, we still get enough in the top 40 over December so I apologise for the Returning Entries sections eventually becoming smaller and more monotonous as we go on – naturally by two years we won’t have any returning entries we haven’t talked about, other than special occasions like “Three Lions”, so this December month is pretty much the end of this section and also the start of me attempting to review Christmas music, which is harder than you think. While “Fairytale of New York” is at #66 and “Last Christmas” is at #52, the one that reigns over all, and is currently already at #14 in the US, is this classic.
#34 – “All I Want for Christmas is You” – Mariah Carey
Well, this is one of the first times on the show I’ve reviewed both Christmas music and one of my favourite songs of all time. There’s something in the joy of those twinking bells and synths, Mariah’s sweet yet powerful delivery and most importantly the freaking sleigh bells, that make me want to involuntarily smile. The lyrics are simplistic yet they’re now just iconic, aren’t they? If you haven’t sung the chorus to this song, and you have a working voice-box, I doubt you’ve lived through even one Christmas. It’s not like the verses are anything to scoff at, either, hell, the bridge is arguably where Mariah really excels, especially with the male choir behind her providing some vocalisation that really has that carol feeling to it, especially with the main reason this song is so fantastic, other than the choirs, other than Mariah Carey being the vocal powerhouse she is (seriously, that final chorus is transcendent), and other than the joyful vibe, those sleigh bells combined with the driving percussion which just give the song such a punch that you need for a Christmas song to work as well as they can when you do them right. Even if Mariah Carey flops for the rest of her career, she’ll always be making bank out of this timeless tune which I hope stays for more than a while during the holiday season. Sadly, I can’t give this Best of the Week, but you’re damn sure I would if I had that choice. Sadly, not all of our Christmas returning entries will be this good over the weeks, although I’m sure this entirely makes up for it.
NEW ARRIVALS
Now you’ve got in that festive mood, how about we kiss under the mistletoe to aggressive trap-rap about gang violence? It’s that time of the year again.
#38 – “KIKA” – 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez
Listen, I don’t want to seem like I enjoy 6ix9ine’s music or defend his actions. He deserves that 25-to-life sentence, he’s an awful human being and most of his music reflects that in every way. If I really had the strength in me, I’d do what I did with “FEFE” and just ignore it completely, instead talking about 6ix9ine’s legal troubles, but this is Tory Lanez’s first ever UK Top 40 (and 6ix9ine’s third) so I don’t want to seem disrespectful to Tory, hell, he’s easily the best part of the song... which, yet again, I hate to admit, I like quite a bit.
The beat here really reminds me of the tropical trap stuff like “ZEZE”, and just like that song, Tory Lanez doesn’t let the melody go any further than a few seconds before he hops in for the hook, which is insanely catchy and I do like the dude’s voice, so he can pull off lines that may seem cliché like “I do my own stunts, Jackie Chan with it” with enough charisma, but then 6ix9ine comes in and just interrupts Tory with some repetitive, mindless bars that reek of “I wrote this in two minutes”, but it’s over quick and we do get a pretty funny reference to Bobby Schmurda’s hat, so we can quickly get to the kick that builds into the great hook again, hell, and in the second verse, after Tekashi steals a Lil Pump line (seriously?) and claims that he’s on some “Ray Charles, John Cena s**t” because he “can’t see the b****”, which is actually hilarious, Tory interrupts 6ix9ine in return with an admittedly funny skit with him replacing “TR3WAY”, a word 6ix9ine cannot legally say anymore despite his catchphrase “it’s f***in’ TR3WAY!”, with other words such as the Trojan brand of condoms, and the American chain Target, before bursting into laughter. Uh, yeah, I’m hesitant but this is a good ‘un, despite its many, many charming flaws – it’s clearly supposed to be funny, so that’s how I’m enjoying it.
Oh, and my friend Prez wanted me to talk about “WAKA” and while I do love A Boogie wit da Hoodie’s singing voice here, with a pretty catchy hook, I’m not sure how I feel about the song in general. The beat has a pretty intense string melody which I can dig, with Boogie actually developing a story which is interesting enough, until 6ix9ine literally shoots the song up, with gunshot and explosion effects that’d make you think he’s Joe Budden, but his part isn’t that awful and it’s insanely short because he’s the feature on his own album for the most part, so, yeah, this is a damn good Boogie song with a few intrusions from the Skittles-man. If we had a version without Tekashi, I’d like it even more.
#20 – “AirForce” – Digdat
Who’s Digdat? Good question. How did his first ever single debut in the top 20? I don’t know, but congratulations, I guess. Since I’ve looked more into British hip-hop, I actually recognised the name but didn’t know much about his particular brand of reggae or pop-infused grime-trap, so I did some research, and yeah he’s pretty okay, albeit a tad boring, so I didn’t expect him to get a hit on his own – and that’s because he didn’t. This song charted because of a remix from much bigger grime duo Krept & Konan, but since that has less streams, we’re talking about the original, and again while I appreciate the dark string-based production and Digdat’s blunt and fast delivery, it’s a bit too generic, I’m sorry. There’s too much bass here that overpowers the actual beat, and the first minute essentially being a bunch of synth-air with producer tags is a bit of an odd choice. The beat is pretty good but the mixing somewhat ruins it, but not enough to be all that noticeable. It just rounds out to a perfect, balanced, “I don’t care”. Hope Digdat gets some more recognition after this, though, the dude has potential.
Conclusion
I don’t feel like I can really give Digdat a Dishonourable Mention or Worst of the Week, but “KIKA” is just clearly so much better, so yeah, Best of the Week goes to Tory Lanez, whilst I don’t think I can really be that mean to DIgdat, so he gets Honourable Mention for “AirForce”. See ya next week, when I’m guessing there will be an influx of Christmas music!
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