#i like where im at tyvm
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yâall ever meet real influencers in the wild cuz thatâs some weird shit lol 2 days later and im still like ayo wtf that was real đ¤Ł
#aint nobody talked to me but tbf i isolated myself and#the one time i spoke to them was to get behind me in my stern-ish chef voice#(i was the videographer so the only one allowed in front of me is the photographer)#but fr it feels so surreal like damn#i like where im at tyvm#also i was dipping sopressata in goat cheese fondue#who would wanna talk to the gremlin dippin meats in goat cheese fondue#đ¤Łđ¤Ł
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the benefits of being mexican and adhd means you're always late to a party (@phanniemasquerade ) đ¤Ş
i'm mando, and i'm half a month from being exactly a decade younger than dan. first mask is a nod to my area of study, second is based off alebrijes. i'm gay as fuck and in an inchresting Situation that is extremely similar to phan except we're somehow not technically together. i started watching dnp (+listening to muse) a decade ago and even did a few phandom meetups back in the day, thought they were cringe for a while, and now i'm back to being cringe <3
i might want to do some music stuff if i ever get off my ass, but mostly i want to get back to writing rpf now that i have dnp's blessing... and to not let whatever i wrote in grade 8 be the only phan stuff i have out there :/
#phasquerade#phandom meetup#yeah working in a lab is funny part of it is a placenta lab. and yes i met tarotphil there. hiiiiiii robinnnn#also yes that's chopin. dan keeps stealing my songs. nocturne op9 no1 is MINE and MY BOY'S. i had to stop the halloween baking vid when dan#started playing it. i know he's definitely played others but alas. IM the one unhealthily obsessed w chopin tyvm#oh speaking of 'music'. ive been wanting to do what i like to call 'composer rpf' where i mash like. beethoven and tchaik together. but i#probably need more practice with composition LOL. that and im thinking of doing something like the breaking bad remix but for phan#like lady door yeah. frankly me writing anything is more likely but We'll See#we're not talking about my pants. they were a better option than my old soccer shorts and i didnt wanna put pants on#i desperately need a haircut too. and maybe a shower. but im going to say i did this on purpose. for the Masquerade Look#mandont#yapping alert#phannie jumpscare#k mention
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sorry i haven't rly been very present around here i've had a shitty couple months to put it lightly
#pidge whines#uuuuh idk man#its hard to be a person#i stopped taking the lexapro bc it was Making Me Insane#my hands still shake constantly#at least im not like having daily mental breaks at work lmao#still not soing great but im soing better#also tyvm to the long time follower who sent me money i was able to get my t đ¤#i was off for a couple weeks which means my Uterus Is Back Online which is unpleasant but im hoping stuff levels out fast#im still broke as fuck but at least payday is friday#im hoping it doesnt suck too bad considering the missed time#idk im not spiraling so hard anymore at least but shit is Still Pretty Whack#idk where im going w this#im just tired
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I have so many ideas I could explore for Jack and Ianto but the thing is they are hardly the only ship I care for and when I write for other fandoms and when 19 whole people kudos a new fic, they leave more than 2 words in feedback underneath. A single "loved this!" does not a writer feed, and sure, no one owes me comments, but I don't owe anyone fic either, and I would rather explore other, equally interesting, ideas i have for ships where people engage with my writing đ¤ˇââď¸
#writers are meant to suffer in silence when we dont get the engagement we would like but nah#i am making this post bc#(1) i have seen this happen time and again w/ so many other writers#and im not sure that the relationship between commenting and gettinf more of the fic you like is obvious to all readers#(2) it doesn't have to be like this. in fact ive been in other fandoms where new fic#is met with enthusiasm rather than a silent horde of kudosers#and that is where i shall head back tyvm#so sure maybe none of you care much for my fic and hence dont comment - that's fine! -#but if you find a writer whose works you do like and think oh man i hope they write more soon!#if you arent commenting at least some of the time#chances are they just might say toodaloo and dip as well
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hi resending. i would play all of your ocs' routes BUT i would go for kynwyl, rhosyn, and morven first :>
TH R E E O F THEEM!!!!!!
okay SO
Kynwyl is such very a sweetie and hes very attentive to you. hes gonna notice Every Little Thing but not comment on it unless it seems negative and he might be able to fix it or help you feel better. He's picking THE Romantic things like a nice dinner or a nice private boat ride (specifically on a skiff that looks like the Floating Gardens skiff) etc etc. He wants to make you feel so important and cherished!!
He is GOING to show up unannounced now and again with flowers and sweet treats. He likes giving loving surprises to his partners. He would stop though if you hated it or it didnt work for you for one reason or another. He isn't pushy! like, at all.
You'd get his bad end through rejecting / disliking / generally being abrasive about his efforts. He can be a little.... perfectionist, about his relationships, and that too could contribute. He wants to find "The Ones(tm)" and he's a bit of a dingus now and again because of it- but that's not your fault! He is a hopeless romantic and he wouldn't like, drop the entire relationship because of one fight or something stupid like that atleast. More like, too many little, unresolved, disagreements and he'll start losing interest.
You'd get his good ending through working with him and telling him what you did or did not like so he could fix it / find a compromise for the both of you! It helps if you accept his advances, but he'd hate it if you only did that for him, and you actually disliked his affection.
Rhosyn is goin maximum lesbian- you two are GOING to watch the fighting rings she loves with THE BEST seats and THE hottest BEST WOMEN FIGHTERS in the whole of elona! (she pranked her brother into paying for it) You're gonna get so much meat to eat and WAY too much dessert and drinks. She'll respect you if you know your limits or try to keep up with her anyway despite knowing your limits ASKLGJOI
She is so loud in how she loves and she is gonna yell her affection at you, gonna drag you to spar with her, gonna invite you out to the best bars in all of elona like 5 days a week (its fine if you cant go shes just GOING TO invite you out everytime she goes out) Buff lady golden retriever who will hug you so very tight and is gonna make sure you know she's your number one and she's never gonna let you fall down. She will lift you higher than ever before! (whether you like it or not)
also lots of bad stupid jokes and dumb sillyness
Her bad end would come around from you trying to change her :( she's always doing her best and she appreciates kind honesty - she'll compromise with you as best she can manage. she might lapse, forgetting the new agreement a couple times in the next two weeks BUT!! she's trying. Her bad end is u being so very meanies to her :( dont do that </3
Her good ending would come around from you meeting her energy or working with her to find a comfy compromise for the both of you! Enabling her loud and "Warrior-brained" tendencies also helps.
uh, good luck getting Morven's good ending SKJDKHGDFIULSHJGOI Morven LOVES to poke and prod and provoke. If it decides you're fun to play with, uh, I'm sorry. SKJHGSJKGHFJ Seriously though It loves to tease and to provoke it's "targets" its like a really. unique. love language. An autistic type of fixation It has simply never seen good enough reason to NOT do. So, if you can put up with that, that's a good start. If you DO manage to get on It's good side, you'll be well attended too, but relentlessly teased. The words themselves, of the teasing, should hurt, they should feel... somewhat, abusive, so to speak, but you've learned by now that it Just Talks Like That. It's feelings and actions rarely match up with it's words. It makes sure you've eaten but asks in what would be a cruel way if it weren't for you knowing that it was genuinely concerned underneath. I'm sorry- it's Just Like That, like it's not even hiding it's feelings it just thinks EVERYONE else is stupid SJDHFILSDHJFJGHKJF if you can put up with that or for some reason think it's endearing, holy shit ur it's perfect match
It's bad ending would be the result of genuinely biting back when it picks fights with you- it wants you to be the "prey" if you are also a "predator" then it ACTUALLY wants to fight you now LMAO Also- Do Not Touch It's Books. None of them. Do Not go into it's library and touch it's collection it would kill you for that- dont, do that.
It's good ending comes around from you responding like a tsundere when it teases you. It wants you to enjoy the fights it picks with you. It wants you to know it's better than you and agree with it (morven is just like this im so sorry LMAFJDIOGHUJOPSH) Also- listening to and respecting it's rules, and listening to it's infodump monologues about it's interests will get you far, and genuinely being interested will get you EVEN farther.
just, the rest of your life will be it teasing you every single day so. I mean. if you wanted that. You WOULD get fuckin sickass high fashion goth clothing to steal AND very very good breakfast, and meals in general, AND have a partner that would incinerate any threat to you it perceived, no questions asked. also you would unlock the ability to pout at it to get what you wanted (watch it do a really really cool lookin powerful ritual, steal its most beloved, expensive, extra, jackets and dresses, Receive an Honest Compliment etc) soooooo [You Win!]
#I HOPE IVE WORDED MORVENS ANSWER WELL#it walks a REALLY fine line where its like an asshole all the time but IT it's self DOES CARE#its not genuinely abusive I promise! im just bad at words and it walks a RLLY RLLY FINE LINE#oc: morven (any/all)#oc: rhosyn (they/she)#oc: kynwyl (he/him)#ocposting#TYVM FOR THE ASK DOT <3<333#also yeah its just like that im so sorry or im so happy for you JHSGBIULKSHFGI#thewordboxresponse
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abt to admit to doing something i shouldn't have so be prepared i stole like probably three shots worth of my roommates alcohol (buzzball????? there was a lot i didn't take enough for it to be noticeable at all i know it was wrong etc) and woahhh is it hitting i like alcohol way too much
#i don't rly know how much alcohol it was#it said 15% but a) don't know what that means and b) no serving size#being drunk feels concerningly good im glad im not 21 and i cant buy it or id probably be broke and have a drinking problem#and yeah i know stealing is wrong etc yes i feel guilty#but also this is my tumblr account where i get to be mildly anonymous and admit to fucked up shit#if u don't like me u are not required to follow tyvm#i don't steal other stuff only alcohol in unnoticeable amounts đđ
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its practically impossible for sawashiro to survive IW i have simply accepted he's definitely dying so im trying to decide on what to do when the scene comes where he gets bodied
#snap chats#i just keep thinking of that bit noel miller did where someone in chat would be like. My Dog Died and he'd just bust down#im so certain sawashiro's dying becuse he'd be defying all the odds if he didnt#he's speedrunning ttm bingo first he goes to prison then he dies. AND rgg refuses to let antags live beyond one game for too long#lau ka long you dont count get the FUCK OUT OF HERE POINT IS he's definitely getting the noose. or gun. or knife. idk#i wonder how ichi'll react..... my poor boy...#he still has mitsu ofc but sawashiro's the last person who really knew him when he was a teenager#on that note i wonder how their relationship will pan out in 8..... their weird dysfunctional-but-we're-the-only-fam-we-got-left dynamic#imagine im wrong as christ and sawashiro does live his ass just goes back to jail or something LMAO#naw if he lives i'll put clown make up on during a stream or something#anyway ew i have class in an hour. id prefer to rot in bed tyvm but w/e
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iâm scFfredscsfed scatsdww scared
#i just wanna embrace my mania but i have work in 4hrs n i barely slept over the last 4 days n pulled an all-nighter last night#like ik itâs not smart to work a 12hr shift without sleep but Fuck i just wanna!! b awake!!#actually iâm lying down in the dark rn n itâs kinda making me sleepyish#but now iâm worried my body will want to catch up on +56hrs of zero sleep n iâll sleep thru my alarm uvhhhh#i had work yesterday and did surprisingly well despite the all nighter i pulled ??#i got all my IV sticks!! n im getting better at burping the saline bags!!#my only issue is iâm kinda slow but idk i just get caught up talking w the patients or their families#like i like spending time w the kind ppl and joking with them and taking the time to help educate them abt their ailments#but i work i the ED so i gotta pick up the pace!! but also manic me loooooves chatting n thatâs where i fell kinda short yesterday lol#but a ptâs grandma was so genuinely grateful for me taking the time to explain everything we were doing to help her grandson#she said âgod bless youâ and her genuinity was real i felt she truly meant it#she even said âand god bless the woman who put you here on this earthâ n i was like#;-;tyvm iâm actually here doing this bc of my mom!! she passed away when i was 16 n the woman said a little prayer jsut basically telling#god to Reallh watch over me n im not religious at all and i hate god but my mom was v religious n i have no problem w others beliefs#but idk i was really touched i guess like wow maybe iâm not that annoying/horrible of a nurse bc iâm kinda unprofessional when i talk?#i just like to make light out of things to help ptâs feel heard and validity and i want them to know i care and want them to feel as safe#w me as possible during the#time theyâre in my care#ik i probably just shouldâve been a psych RN from the start but i rlly felt a calling to the ED??#also thereâs a Lot of psych in our ED sooo 2 birds 1 stone !!#also the grandma told me she really appreciated how i spoke with them so openly and teach them things abt their loved ones condition#she said ânever change that. your soul is beautiful and one of a kindâ or smthin like that n it was incredibly validating to me#cuz i felt like an idiot talking so much or maybe explaining things more than they wanted to know?? but the o grandma was soo appreciative??#i know i need to practice reigning myself in but with certain patients itâs just so easy to see them as another human being than a body#ok iâm kinda tired now but iâm fuxk dd bc if i fall asleep iâll o my get 2.5hrs MAX n imsooo scared of not waking up on time!!#ok ok okimvinn finn big gonna go#ramblings
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hell yeah.
Reblog to give a trans woman a delicious Cuban sandwich
#we love supporting people#wait who's we#i am a singular person#wait#oh right#the other people who reblogged this#haha thank god#didnt need to think too hard about how im totes only one person#:)#i feel like i should just...#Trans rights are human rights#people should feel comfortable no matter what skin they wear#wait no that sounds wrong#we dont support skinwalkers#most of the time#i think#wait shit sorry if your a trans skinwalker its just that your practices are hurtful towards most people i think???#uh#I dont know!!! fuck!!!#Shit i think i made myself look worse now#Uh...#Tldr: You should feel comfortable no matter what#(In terms of gender and sexuality)#[I am not a expert on brains]#(Skin walkers are cool i guess please dont take my skin i like it where it is tyvm)
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wow it'd be really funny if that was a vague post about me, about someone completely misunderstanding my point, oh well, they will never directly confront me bc they're coward so ig i'll stop thinking about it and caring.
#why yes im notoriously the black and white thinking guy tyvm#swing and a miss#next time: ask me to clarify and go deeper on what I mean! you'll probably find you agree with me when you're not constantly looking#for reasons to disagree with me! :)!#and also not constantly assuming i hold the exact opposite opinion of you and must hold the Worst opinion that would not benefit#you at all or something!#gotta be that im trying to take something away from you huh. cant be im genuinely concerned about something specific. nah.#i promise. i dont want to take shit. nor do i have the power to if i wanted to. i just want people to be careful ESPECIALLY. around#the cis men who indulge in that shit.#capiche? now fuck off with your uncharitable ass interpretation.#consider: maybe i *also* like the same shit and imprint myself very similarly on to it and am just being aware of when people just want#to use me and not respect me. sorry for looking out for you ig ill never do it again. christ.#maybe some of yall dont have friends bc you reject love and care where ever it comes and assume its some ulterior motive all the time.
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#GIRL making your own sylveon without the naming strat on pokemon go is so MNGHFGHKLFGJHHH#HOW MANY FUCKING HEARTS DID IT SAY.. 70???#OH. wait nvm im literally 15 away#GIRL i was dreading continuing this shit bc i thought i needed ultra buddy the whole time đđ#if u do go outside u just need like 5-7 days LMAO k nvm#but its funny how fast im getting ultra buddy bc i just got my first ultra buddy w zacian the other day!#catch assist looks so silly and i love it :) lil guy pops out of the corner of my screen when the ball bounces off a pokemon and bounces it#back onto the pokemon like tyvm!!! i wish it was guaranteed so i could do that strat everytime LMAOO sooo cutee#i want zamazenta as my buddy tho >< zacians cool but zacians blue! and i like the shiny colors better tbh. just easier on my eyes#and zamazenta!! heart eyes!! pink and red!!! so cute!! i love it!#and for some reason they place zacian so far behind u on ur profile if thats ur buddy but if u put zamazenta its a lot closer idk#AND I LOVE BIG FLUFFY LOOKIN STUFF... i understand zamazenta and zacian have been through some shit but fluffy?? fluffy????? đĽşđĽşđĽş#unfortunately im a lot more attached to this shiny zamazenta than i initially thought id be LMAOO if it was regular colored#i might like it less.. zacian too SORRYYY the shiny colors r just so nice 𼺠zamazenta's literally my fav colors n fluffy!!!#but yeah i wasnt super attached in the beginning bc i have a good fairy type (sylveon) and have been trying to get other fighting types#bc of normal types in gyms ( i hate u mfs for that btw </3 ) AND THOSE TWO CANT EVEN GET SAME TYPE FAST ATTACKS..#BUT THEYRE A SINGLE TYPE POKEMON LIKE GIRL FUCK im bad w typings MAKE IT EASY FOR ME#anyway i adjusted. ice FA for zama and fire FA for zac. fuck the meta. i do want dark FA for zac but im not risking reroll idc idc idccc#i think my new pkmn go obsession is funny tho bc i started playing just bc my cousin was. and my mom redownloaded so we could add and gift#so i did too. now im probably more into it than my cousin and mom LMAOO#oopsies! whatever! it gets me outside and walking so im sure nobody cares LOL#44597#WAIT I SPENT 1572.. oh i was inactive I WAS GONNA SAY 1572 DAYS W BUIZEL AND NOT GREAT BUDDY??#HUH!? THERES A LV 40 MISSION WHERE U GOTTA DO ALL EEVEELUTIONS? FUCK YOUU <//3
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chat how much does stretching your own piercing hurt, specifically from 18g to 16g and specifically ur nostril
#thee illusion of pain innit..#actually while weâre here iâve been thinking abt getting my tragus done but i just got a conch a few months ago#and my cartilage hates me so itâs kinda like barely at the point where i can switch out the jewelry#but yeah i kinda just wanna do it myself so itâs even w the rest of my piercings but :/ donât want to fuck my self up yk#like im sure itâs probs not that bad idk lmk if yall have done it pleeeeeeeekđđ˝đđ˝#grassy asssssđđ#but the only thing rlly holding me back from the tragus is that i want it on my right side and i donât want to give up my airpods :/#so like what earphones r yall wearing..#i fear i cannot raw dog work so like yeah iâll take recs on that end too pls#iâm on thee website so i canât move these tags around but pretend this makes sense tyvm
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hot take but i think if your feedback on an essay is that its 'excellent' but u grade it in the 'very good' band you shld have to explain urself
#kt talks#got the lowest mark on my english essay since my first semester of uni and i am quite upset about it#yes it was still an A and it is ridiculous i am upset about it. but also its not and i am right#like the difference between 20 and 21/23 is HUGE when 21 is a first and 20 is a 2:1 (surely might as well be 17/23 if its in the same band.#thats mental??)#and YES i know its not and i need to shut up but also??? no i dont!! dont give me a 20 when your first piece of feedback is 'this is an exc#llent essay' and the word used to describe essays graded 21-23 is excellent#CONTRADICTIONS!!!!!#this essay was MORE THAN VERY GOOD and idc if its like a well your standard is clearly high so i am marking it to the standard of your essa#s and thats where it aligns on an essay thats already high. no thats not fair idc abt that i care about the numbers on the page which will#etermine my degree tyvm#and yes i am pretty sure overall in the module my mark amounts to a first anway bc other assessments. but as i said. I DONT CARE!!! WORST M#RK SINCE MY FIRST SEMESTER!!! THAT BORING ASS ESSAY ON A KEATS POEM!! APPARENTLY ONLY 1 MARKS DIFFERENCE COMPARED TO THIS VERY STRONG ESSAY#ON WHY HELEN IN TYPICAL AMERICAN IS VERY COOL#just like. annoying like i literally couldnt have made it any better than it was at the time i wrote it and its literally. a great essay im#and yet.... 20/23...... alright#gonna be sending an email. wish me luck#no my worth is not dependent on academic validation yes i need to do well in this one subject because if i dont then i literally have nothi#g whitney style
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yandere simulator; xo (only if you say yes)
2024 | 18+ | RUNTIME: 23K | STARRING > Y.JW | SUMMARY; when youâa corporate worker in her late twentiesâfinds a strange self-proclaimed online game "no one has ever win this game yet", where its premise are centered around yanderes, but instead of the classic route where the yanderes had to chase you, it is you who have to do it; turn the boy you've chosen into a lovesick creature for you before someone else does. playing it online is surely fine, but what happens when you find yourself stuck in its world?
GENRE: yandere, survival/death game, character-driven story, violence/gore, dark psychology, psychological thriller, drama
LVL 2 WARNING: intense emotional outbursts, minor graphic details of gore, ;; not a native eng speaker! grammar errors ahead!,
THEME MUSIC: ROSEATE LIGHT / BGM.
DIRECTOR'S CUT, ep 2 is finally out after two months of grinding!! its not my best work, as im kind of bummed with my eng. i've revised it countless of times, so apologies for any mistakes but regardless i hope yall will still love it <3 btw i don't do taglist for my works, apologies for that! so today concludes the last release for this roleplay game bc i have to finish two film projects which has been delayed for quite awhile now :'( so there won't be any update until further notice! soo yeah đš hope you enjoy and tyvm for reading!
loading... lvl âĄ
this is a roleplay story game with a poll, where you may either choose to observe yourself as the protagonist or the one helping the protagonist. to play the game, it is advise to read the story properly because once you've reached the bottom, a poll will be presented with multiple routes you have to choose. every level's poll has a 1-week time limit, and therefore it is advise to not rush to vote and to have a discussion among each other first, and to think wisely which choice you think are the best âas the majority of the votes will decide how the game progresses. but its important to keep in mind, that each route has its advantages and disadvantages and may lead to the protagonists' downfall rather than benefiting her.
AUG 23. 2024
EARTH, ****
i. WHAT IS A GAME TO YOU?
A game is an activity, one that engages with for newfound experiences, for amusement and fun, or simply out of pure boredom.
In a sense, it is a virtual world where you are able to do something you were unable to do in the real world; to live out a role. There are numerous, vast array of games, whether it be analog or digital. So many of them, you couldn't get the definitive, exact count of the total number that exists in the world.
But does that even matter when its main core is to give you an experience out of this world?
The real world.
Where humans assume a role the moment they realize what it meant to live and survive, yet not just one but many. We often rotate these roles like a roulette depending on who we talk with, or what kind of situation we're in, maybe what is expected of us, or to abide by of what is our current status and position.
The origin of the word 'role' could be trace back further to French rĂ´le from obsolete French roule ârollâ, referring to the roll of paper on which an actor's part was written, and also from Latinârotula, rotulus 'little wheel', which is a diminutive of rota 'wheel'.
In a sense, we created scripts in our head of how we should act. Because think of this, how would you act if your mechanics suddenly acted like a doctor? Its weird, right? Or maybe depending on your opinion, you may find it hilarious.
That's why we act according to our role, the part given to us, and the many parts that we've assumed on our own.
The most famous quote expressing this comes from Shakespeare: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."Â
Shakespeare are implying that all of us are constantly wearing masks. That some people are better actors than others, and he was right.
Person, comes from Old French persone, which derived from Latin persona which means 'actor's mask, character in a play'.
We're all actors in a colossal stage play, with roles to play.
A theatre; maybe you could compare the the actors as blocksâmaybe a Jenga? A colossal building blocks that fits perfectly together, forming a cohesive tightly fitting society. Major or minor, each block is a component that serves a purpose to the societyâfulfilling our respective roles. Yet that role can be taken away as easy as it was given to you, or even if you worked hard for it.
Why?
There are exactly eight billion people in this world, and these numbers will kept growing. Shall that mask comes off, or if you do not play your role properly, will society still accept you?
No. We are all too easily replaceable.
One block could be filled in or pulled out when the circumstances sees it fit, it's one heck of a big thing, anyways.
Whether it be in your personal life such as friendships, ever heard about trios rarely works? Or in relationships where your lover seems to pay no attention to you any longer and you are left wondering what went wrong? Or perhaps, in your careerâwhere you are thrown out as soon as someone new, someone way younger and capable than you are came around despite pouring your best efforts in that field for so long.
A brief, momentary experience.
Yet some blocks get to never fit in, though. Never knowing how it feels like to be in one. Because it just, never fits in. It remains as a part of the auditorium, sandwiched in between the audience seat.
Say, you desire to inherit a farm or live in the countryside but you don't even have any family nor relatives in this field. Ever wanted to ride a dragon and wear a dazzling heavy armor across the sky? Or have your own restaurant whether it be a Chinese cuisine, maybe not that one but a pizza restaurant where you serve millions of people? Start your own business startup, sign all those contracts with the tycoons and earn that huge bucks of stacks but just don't have the time, energy, and capital to do so? Or maybe a pet shop because you had the unrealistic wish to own dozens of pet breeds?
Want to go through the nine-month process of pregnancy but all the post-pregnancy effects has your face cringing in fear? Or you just wanted to have a small cozy home yet you're too broke to even afford one? A healthy relationship, a functional family? A loving mother? Sure. A responsible father? On the way! Or you just wanted to feel loved? The bare minimum of all?
Sometimes, we're not so satisfied with the roles we end up inâthat we are engulfed with a desire.
It could just be a mere hobby, to escape reality, a stress reliever, or to be part of a story you've never been and desires to be in. Its a role that deviates from who you are, from the hands of judgement of the court, where no one can judge you. To live as someone.
A virtual experiences. An immersion. A roleplay. A recreation. A simulation. Whatever you call it, all of them was meant to satisfy. To satisfy an urge, a want, a needâa desire for something. To feel something. To fill in this hollow void within.
To relive what was lost or to live what never existed in the first place.
Because why do we even read stories in the first place, then?
Something you can only do behind that screen, just a second away from your digits.
A chance.
And you were being given the second chance to relive those experience one more time, without having to give something in return.
It is one in a lifetime chance, the fact they don't give this freely to anyone enticed you, tempted you.
You desired to be love and craved for with no care for limit. For you were sure as hell no one would go crazy for you in this life. For you, yanderes are the epitome of love that are eternal and immortal. Anyone can say what they want to, but this kind love, no matter how toxic it may be, are divinely tempting.
For once, you wanted to be loved, not to love.
What harm would it do to you, even? Unless this game pulled a dirty trick of asking you to pay a heavy sum of bucks after, then it go screw itself, you could just press the exit button as swift as you can but for now, you'll see to it.
You accepted the package.
Pressing the button, a set of gift boxes in a variety of colours in their ribbons appeared much to your surprise, floating around in a rhythmic motion accompanied by a new BGM before settling down in a row at the bottom of your screen.
Curious, yet intriguedâyou tapped on each gift box.
⤠.. đ HEARTY EYES: APPEARANCE INCREASED BY 10 POINTS!
⤠.. đ LOVE POTION: A WHIFF OF ROSY SCENT!
⤠.. đREPUTATION METER: INCREASE BY 5 POINTS!
New XPs and skills made its appearance one by one, lighting up your eyes with delight and excitement. This new additional gifts would surely help you in your second try! A final gift box appeared out of blue much to your surprise, there's one more? Gulping down with giddiness, exceedingly curious of what it could contain, you tapped it with no hesitation.
⤠.. đ DRESS-UP DARLING, THE GRAND INVITATION: REVEL IN YOUR NEW SKIN!
Eh? Invitation? Skin..?
You rubbed your heavy lids, for what purpose would you need a new skin for? Brows knitted deeply together deeply the peculiar package. Perhaps it could contained some extra points that may increase your appearance judging by its title.
New skin..
You accepted the gift box, and to your surpriseâit returned you back to the options of play again, or return to the main menu in which you pressed the latter. What? That's it? No such thing as redirecting you into a fishy website, or all those eye-boggling digits?
Breathing out a small wow, although short-lived as your jaw dropped. Gasping after noticing the devil hours glaring back at youâilluminating your dark eyebags in blue huesâthe sequences of events where your employer scolded you, slamming the colossal bold title of 'fired'âsending you in sheer panic.
Placing it under your pillow on your right side, you hurried to sleep as you tucked yourself in your cozy blankets.
Pitch black cloaked the entire expanse of the sky, yet the hush of the moon herselfâconquered with vigor, casted a soothing spellâbeckoning your heavy lids to succumb to its embrace.
Drifting into the darkness, you did.
Unbeknownst to you, a glow of light flickers beneath your pillowâilluminating the edge of your slumber face, approaching like mistâ overshadowing the moonâdusting half of your nose a stroke of rosy tint, morphing into a heavier shade that consumes your face, to scathing your entire skin in streaks of crimson.
It progressively crawled out like an animated form of blood, dripping down your bed and onto your floorâmorphing into razor sharp fingers that obscured your windows from the outside world.
Submerging your window in deep red, illustrating the image of an apocalyptic day.
The floor, your furniture, your closetâenveloped by its approaching forceâbathing everything it could see in red. Returning to your side, it tucks your locks behind your ear before slithering across your arm, twirling around and settling on the table by the bed.
A display screen glowed amidst the flaming red, typing out a text:
APRIL 8, 2026 ⤠.. Good night, my darling.
The ceiling of your room greeted your drowsy lids. You groaned, irritated by the rays of the sun peering through the gaps of the curtainâcasting its searing heat on your face.
You shifted your body where your back faces the window, your hands instinctively searching for your phone under your pillow, frowning when you couldn't grab anything.
Head clouded with slumber, you were sure you had placed it right there. Shifting your body once more, yawning as you stretched your hands on the bedside table.
There it is!
Raising your eyelids a bit, you tapped your phone's screen twice expecting to be greeted by your lock screen. Eyebrows knitting deeply as you quickly paused, rubbing your eyes to get a better look.
"Huh?"
Stunned by the peculiar color of rosy pink blotting your blurry vision. You felt the cold material in your palms, searching for the supposedly touch screen but it was too small and slimâhold on. You jammed your thumb in-between the two layers, flicking it open.
The heck is this? A flip phone? You were sure you've threw your barely working flip phone years ago. And it wasn't even p-pink?
Your sleep-dazed brain swirls with deeper confusion as you navigated through the strange tiny icons. All dripping in pink much to your disbelief.
Favors? Schedule? Student info? What the heck is all this weird stuffs? Your eyes widened when you finally notice the three-digit clock, it propels your body to tense almost immediately, sitting right up with eyes blown wide.
A high-pitched of whines escapes your lips. You're in for a great risk of getting fired today. You pulled the blanket off your frame, hurrying to get ready before all the eerie prospects in your mind come trueâ
Huh? Hold on.
Your body halted when you put your bare feet on the floor, eyes falling on a carpet that strangely looks a tad bit different than it used to. The patterns? The color? Groaning, you passed it off as another trick your brain playing on you as you just woke up. You rubbed your groggy eyes, yawning as you sprinted to the bathroom.
You really got no time for this, mumbling as you grabbed your toothbrush, putting a toothpaste on it before pushing into your mouth. So much for playing the damn game, now you're terribly, terribly late.
A fatal hit to your ten year streak as a diligent corporate worker. Now that you thought of it, a sigh escapes amidst the bubbles in your mouth. After awhile, with this mundane average life of yours that you've lived over the years, you've begin to wonder when will the time come for you to save up enough money to be able to quit? You've never had even a single vacation out of embarrassment and consideration for your co-workers.
At some point, you've felt like you were an automatic machine repeating and completing the same tasks every single day for ten years. It came to a brief thought that perhaps you were only truly living at night.
If only there's a world where you an escape to for awhile, away from this boring reality. But there's no way that world exists. If only you couldâ
Thoughts halted, looking at your reflection in the mirror. There is something wrong, and no, it's not your faceâthough you look strangely youthful? Leaning closer, you inspected your features with furrowed brows. Dark eyebags and the wrinkles nowhere to be found.
Eh?
Heck, you weren't that old, for sure. Yet you look slightly younger for some reason. Squinting your eyes, you stood a few inches away from the mirror, pulling a random poses as you try to observe anything you could find. Poking your cheeks that was strangely supple, a stark contrast of the hollow cheekbones you captured in your camera a few days ago, complaining to your friend of how you were aging so rapidly.
All those random beauty products she recommended to you finally worked out? Or was it the short burst of sleep you got? Knitting your eyebrows together at the thought as you resumed brushing your teeth, it can't be though?
Wait. Hold on.
You let out a gasp, snapping your head behind to you where your bathtub stood in it's glory. That's it. That's the shit. That pristine ceramic shooting rays against your face.
You don't have a fucking bathtub.
Where did that giant heck of a thing came from?
You've spent all your years dreaming for one, to submerged yourself in bubbles to chill in after a long day of work.
However to do that, a better apartment and an extra space is what you needed first, where you could put everything in their respective place. Having everything meld into one small room is mentally exhausting, and that wish only seems get further and further away from your grasp when that five digits holding the thread of your life keeps slamming you back to reality, leaving you cramped up inside your tiny apartment.
Maybe this is the sign that you should just be grateful and not to be greedy for more. But..
But this thingâis truly in front of you.
You took a few steps backwards to take a full view of the bathroom; it's oddly familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. You were sure you've seen this somewhere but you can't put it right in your mouth. With confusion hanging in your head so deep, you took a few garglesâfinishing up.
Thinking back to it, this bathtub kind of look familiar.
You stood by the door, pausing for a thought you tilt your head sideways.
Something is amiss and it begin to sink in.
This is not your room.
With the realization setting in complete form, you stood there in bewildermentâsnapping your head around, observing the unfamiliar furniture and corners of this strange room.
Where are you? And what the hell is that uniform hanging at the wall for? Are you perhaps having a lucid dream, where you could feel pain and all that sort of stuff? It must be those weird YouTube videos you've watched over the past few days.
Somehow, this looks like.. This looks like just likeâ
No way, though. You let out a nervous laugh. Pinching your cheeks hard, you let out a terribly loud 'ow', frowning at the throbbing pain. Why the heck does it hurts so much?!
⤠.. WELCOME, DARLING! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SO LONG!
You lose your balance, letting out a high-pitched scream from your throatâtipping off your sole when a huge floating pink object emerged out of nothing at your face. A computer display?! Almost like the science fiction films you've watched, it resembled a hologram but much, much more vivid and vibrant, floating before you.
A p-popup?
"Wâwhat? Huh?!" Elbows digging on the floor, your expressions contorts into an amalgamation of fear and confusion. You hissed at the throbbing pain on your butt, rubbing it off to ease the pain. Why the heck does it hurt so much?!
You notice as it swiftly typed out a question.
⤠.. OH MY... HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?
What is that thing?..
"W-what? What did I forgot?" Stammering, you blurted out without much thought.
⤠.. YOU LOSE LAST NIGHT. WHICH IS QUITE UNFORTUNATE, YET IT IS TO BE EXPECTED, AFTER ALL.
"The heck are you talking about?"
⤠.. YOU'RE IN MY GAME.. IN THE WORLD OF YANDERE SIMULATOR!
It took you a whole minute to process the words, laying there on your elbows. Until a high-pitched laughter spills out of your mouth, legs kicking in frantic motions as you try to push yourself up to stand.
Yandere Simulator? The game you were playing?
Bursting into another round of giggles, holding your stomach with your arms at this newfound joke. "M-me? In a game? More like in a dream!"
After what seem like a long laugh. You let out a huge exhale, now completely sure that this is a dream.
"Okay, wake up now," You slapped yourself on the cheek lightly a few times, clearing your throat as you shut your eyes tight. "You're too freaking obsessed with that game for god's sake. Wake up, wake up!"
A few beats of silence echoes.
You open your left eye, taking a peek. But to your disappointment, you're still in this weird dream.
⤠.. YOU'RE IN MY GAME. DON'T YOU GET IT?
You ignored it. Rushing back to the bed, tucking yourself in the blankets. Go back to sleep, idiot. You screamed in your head.
A robotic giggle suddenly hit your ears, forcing your eyes to open as goosebumps riled across your skin.
That thing is giggling for fuck's sake, you thought. It bounces as its pink color flickers on and off, syncing with its giggles.
⤠.. WELL, I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU TO FIND IT OUT YOURSELF THEN. IT'S A GAME AFTER ALL!
Your jaw dropped. It disappeared. More like vanishes into nothing like how it appeared out of blue. What? You weren't imagining things, do you? It w-was there, just now!
You immediately stood up, with your foot planted firmly on the floor, urgency and nervousness amplified with every second.
A game? How ridiculous.
This place that somehow resembles the game you've been playing for awhile now, it's complete nonsense. Your brain tries to search for an answer and your face beams up.
Or perhaps is it the end of the world? Have Earth been conquered at last?! Were all those news from thirteen years ago were real? Repulsed by the idea, you lose your tipping trying to make sense of this holographic square before you.
But wait, Earth is too dumb for aliens to even consider to conquer. Maybe you've had time traveled? Shit. Have you accidentally teleported into the future where cities had advanced in great lengths and technology? It could explain why that weird thing just now resembles those science-fiction stuffs.
"Am I.." You pointed towards yourself, voicing out a scary question. "In the future? Like 3000-ish or something?"
No? Thank god.
Wait, this could be lucid dreaming, though.
The fact that you're having a dream of the game, it must've been triggered by your outbursts of your failure last night. Such a vivid and immersive experience, there's no more fitting answer than that. Were you so damn obsessed with the entire game to lead you this point?
You scoffed in disbelief, placing your hands on your waist as you poked your cheek with your tongue. This is stupid.
If this is a lucid dream, then.. If you recall it correctly, to exit out of itâit requires you to say a script out loud, or perhaps do a particular action such as exiting a door or running across a hallway to mimic the speed of time, so as to accelerate your brain back to its conscious mode.
Appalled by the sequences of this strange dream, you made up your mind as your eyes darted over the door. Here you go! Pushing the door open with your might, you're greeted by a strange hall filled with rooms on your either side. This is strange, you thought. Without wasting any more time, you sprinted down the stairs where you can see a ray of light illuminating the bottom of the stairs.
Jumping off, you took a leapâlanding on your feet with a thud.
"Dear, what's going on?"
You froze on the spot.
That voice. That face. It can't be..
W-what is t-this?
You haven't heard it for so long. How long had it been? You lose your footing on the stairs, covering your mouth as your hand trembles, mimicking the rampant movement of your pupils. This portrait before you, one that was long forgotten, one you've last seen so long ago.
"H-how?" You found yourself falling into your father's arms, feeling his warmth. The sensation of his freezing palms when you held it in the morgue crashes back to your head. Am I in heaven?
Were you actually dead?
"D-dad!" You wailed in his arms, gasping for air, you tried to wrap your head in this dilemma. "Y-you know that I m-miss you so much! Why did you left without saying anything?!"
No response.
Wiping off the tears off your eyes as you pulled away, trying to take one more look at your long dead father. He can't be here, you've seen it, with your own two eyes when he was buried sixty feet underground.
But this man right here, that face. You're not mistaken. From the head to toe, it was just like the day you've last seen him. "You- you aren't real, are you?"
"Honey, sweetie, breakfast is ready!"
The voice of your mother caught you off guard, eyes darting swiftly at the door across the roomâcaught off guard by the voice calling for you from the kitchen. Mom? Why is sheâ Beside her, your elder sister and younger brother are seated in the dining room, waving their palms at you,
"M-mom? Sis? What are you all doing here?"
With questions growing havoc inside you, the appearance of your mother preparing food in the kitchen puzzled you deeper. You look over at the dining room where your siblings are seated, indulging in their phones with your father now joining them in the middleâreading his newspaper for the day.
A scene all too familiar that it crawls all over your skin with rampant fear.
Home. It felt like home. But at the same time.. its not.
"Am I really dreaming?" You cupped your face, feeling the evident warmth of your blood rushing to your cheeks.
"What's wrong?"
Your soul shrinks at that voice. A gasp escapes your throat as thousand no's shrouded your head knowing all too well that this is purely impossible. Before you knew it, tears spill once more from your eyes as you turned your head towards that voiceâhowever this one bears no longing, nor sorrowâit was resentment swirling with humiliation.
The visage that brought your whole world crumbling into pieces, flooding back a long forgotten winter that cripples away your will to wait for the next spring.
You feel yourself turning small, vulnerableâa thousand needles absorbing into your ribs. "What are you doing-" Whimpering, you casted nervous glances at everyone, "W-why is h-he here..?"
Taking a few step backwards, as you release a shaky breathe.
"W-who let him in?"
You frantically glance at your family, desperate for a response, an answer. Whereby the pitch of your voice growing louder with every second that passes as they only casted you a spine-chilling stare.
A long, empty one.
"Who let him in here?!" You repeated.
"Sister? What's wrong?" He tilted his head down, bearing an innocent expression.
"S-sister?" You emitted a scoff of disbelief, raising your arm to harshly point at him and then towards the door. "What sick game are you playing?! Get out! Get out!"
"Why are you saying that to your brother, honey?"
"Brother? M-momâ Are you being for real?!"
"Why, honey? He is your brother, you grew up together."
You were on the verge of cursing when suddenly your familyâevery single of them, suddenly stood in synchronization.
Alarmed by the downright frightening scene, your feet instinctively step backwards. "W-what's going on?"
If fear was something you'd never truly comprehend before, then this one tops it all.
"What's going on?" Each one of them repeated the same sentence, voices layered on top of another, resembling a cult ritual. "Darling. This is your reality." They all look back at you.
Your heart palpitate rapidly, every muscle in your body pulsated in sheer terror. Voice dripped in heavy desperation, only for it to come out louder than you expected it to. "What the fuck?!"
Suddenly, the familiar robotic giggle reaches your ears from behind.
⤠.. SO HOW'D YOU LIKE MY GIFT? ⤠.. I BROUGHT THEM HERE FOR YOU, ⤠.. SO YOU WON'T BE SO LONELY.
Your blood-shot eyes snapped to its direction, stumbling backwards on the stairs with terror engulfing your soul.
"W-who are you?" You yelled at the top of your lungs. "What are you?!"
That thing resembling a computer display carries such a heavy presence with it, you can feel it crawling in your soulâthe display screen gnawing at your frame despite its lack of facial expression. Mimicking your movement and the text box flashing in timed intervals indicating its next reply didn't do nothing but give you a heavy uneasiness.
This unsettling energy it carries as it begins to type out a new sentence.
You are aching so bad to get away from this thing as far as you can.
⤠.. WHAT CAN I SAY, WHAT AM I? JUST A LITTLE POP-UP TO GUIDE YOU IN THIS WORLD.
Your frown deepens, "Guide m-me? What?"
⤠.. I TOLD YOU, DIDN'T I? YOU'RE IN A GAME.
"Stop that bullshit! Just what kind of nightmare is this?!" Smacking yourself in the cheeks once more, yet harder than you did the first time.
With trembling hands, you try to force yourself to wake up from this terrifying nightmare.
⤠.. "TAKE A LOOK AROUND FOR YOURSELF, THEN, AND SEE WHERE YOU ARE STANDING RIGHT NOW. ⤠.. DOESN'T IT LOOK FAMILIAR?"
Splayed fingers over your eyes, you observed the whole space.
These peculiar animated expressions despite the humane features, despite being the faces you've held love forâit's akin to machines having a prosthetic skin glued on it, mimicking the data installed in their drive.
But it can't be. It's just completely impossible for you even to wrap it around your head.
You, in a game?
Heart rampant. Clammy hands. Your feet frantically deciding which way to go. Before your eyes caught on to the sun rays peering behind the closed curtains, rushing towards itâ swiftly pulling it open.
No. It can't be.
With disjointed thoughts, eyes darting around you. You searched for logical explanations yet with this pounding chest, trying to form a coherent sentence. Your mind says that it can't be possible, but your eyes are saying otherwise.
"T-there's no w-way."
Yet as you turned your head to every single thing in this house, your blood runs colder and colder. Every single furniture you've tapped on a screen are now before your eyes. The hours you spent on navigating around the living room, before going on with your missions and side tasksâit was now all here.
All before your eyes. Where your fingers could feel the physical edges and corners. Every single thing.
⤠.. "YES YOU ARE! AIN'T IT FUN? A WHOLE NEW IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE! ⤠.. YOU CAN NOW MEET JUNGWON, HIMSELF!"
No.
There's no way this was possible. You can't accept it. No. No. No.
"No, t-this is not it!" Stammering, you shook your head frantically. "T-this is n-not what I wanted!"
⤠.. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ⤠.. DON'T YOU DESIRE TO MEET YOUR FAVOURITE BOY WITH YOUR OWN EYES?"
In your head, it sinks in deeper and thoroughly.
"I don't- I don't care!" Panic emerges inside you. "Is there a way out? There must be, right?! I don't want to stay here!"
⤠.. "OF COURSE YOU DO! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU TRY TO PLAY TWICE?"
"This is not what I mean!"
It came out louder than you expected, laced with sheer desperation as it finally sank in.
The ground doesn't feel real. Even this feet of yours. Everything is so out of place. The pitch of your voice spills out longer, dramatic and exaggerated. Your breathing grew heavier yet short, as if it were being pressed down by sheer gravity.
You look down on your hands, inspecting the finger prints yet it took just that before you clawed down your head as you imagined yourself in this vast virtual world where no one is alive but you.
You wanted to go back.
⤠.. "YOU DO. IT IS WHAT YOU WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU'VE ACCEPTED MY INVITATION, REMEMBER? ⤠.. AND I DID NOTHING BUT GRANTED IT WITH PLIGHT."
You see nothing but red.
"Stop twisting my words." You spat out. "No! Bring me back! Thâthis isn't what I wanted! Youâwhatever you are, please!"
"Just bring me back, to my home! I don't want to stay here!"
The pop-up remains silent, not typing out any response to your pleas.
The prospects of being trapped in here forever without any form of escape shrouded your thought with numerous case of scenarios of how lonely it would be, how scary it would be, rendering you to be totally emotional.
"How was I even able to get inside a game? That just isn't possible! Wake up, wake up!" You smacked yourself in the cheeks, pinching your arm only for you to let out a yelp.
It just floated, despite bearing no eyes. You felt like it was looking down on you with glee.
"Answer me! This was never stated anywhere in the game!"
Clutching on the table near you, struggling to keep yourself steady and composure.
You twisted your feet inwards, launching yourself to throw a punch at that thing, however it vanishesâcausing you to fall on your hands. Hissing, It didn't deter you from trying once more, filling the space with your screams and profanities, however your humane limits is nothing in comparison with the swift and flawless dodges of the virtual pop-up.
You tried, over and over again.
Getting up countless of times, but not even a stroke of your finger could you land a hit on it.
⤠.. AN ADMIRABLE EFFORT, I MUST SAY. ⤠.. YET IT'S POINTLESS, MY DARLING.
Your feet paused on its tracks, exhausted beyond your limit. Fringe latching on your sweaty skin as you dropped on your knees in despair.
This... can't be your reality.
Clenching your fist tight, you pushed yourself up, racing towards the door, slamming it open only for you to squint your eyes at the blaring morning sunlight. Pushing you to look down to your bare feet planted against the asphalt, a strange feeling beneath your soles. It should've been ceramic..
Your body stiff as your eyes were presented with a sight you've never seen before.
Last night, you were inside your run-down apartment, three stories high where you could see the city tower beyond. Instead of the stairs greeting you in the morning when you opened your door, a gate stood across from you. High-rise buildings are nowhere to be seen, that should've been in high up there once you lifted your head up.
There was no way you could've been suddenly in a damn house. In a strange place. And in a town with its architecture's nothing close to where you came from.
Snapping your head to look behind you. Your stomach twisted and shattered in pits. It is that house.
⤠.. "ESCAPING IS FUTILE, MY DARLING. ⤠.. THIS WORLD IS ENDLESS, LIMITLESS. ⤠.. THERE'S NO POINT OF RETURN."
"Please, let me go!"
You can't be here. You still have work today. What if you lose your job? You have no knowledge of how time works here and there. Dropping on your knees, you crawled towards itâunsure of where to hold it, you clasped your hands together. "Please! I can't be here, I still have work! I still have to pay my bills! Iâ I haven'tâ"
⤠.. "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, DARLING? YOU AINT A FULL-FLEDGED ADULT YET. ⤠.. LOOK! YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!"
It turns around to gesture inside the house, towards the clock on the wallâpulling your tear-filled eyes over it which are currently hovering at 7 AM sharp.
⤠.. "IT'S TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL."
"Bitch!" You spat out, gritting your teeth. "I've graduated eleven years ago! I don't want to play your stupid game!"
Screaming at it at the top of your lungs, growing desperate as the truth begins to sink in every passing second. Propelling your body to react in ways. Crying you did, sinking your body down in unfathomable depth of helplessness.
⤠.. "OH, DON'T CRY, MY SWEET DARLING."
"Is there really no way. . Out?" You mumbled to yourself amidst all the sniffing and heavy gasps. Overwhelmed by the truth alone.
⤠..YOU JUST HAVE TO PLAY, AND PERHAPS YOU MAY BE ABLE TO RETURN. ⤠.. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU HUMANS, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED A BIG HOUSE LIKE THIS ONE. ⤠.. WEREN'T YOU JUST WISHING TO LIVE IN A MORE COMFORTABLE SPACE?
That hits you. It struck the spot inside you where it was most vulnerable. How did it know? You were terrified to ask. Glaring at it with seething rage,
"Whoever you are, I refuse to play your sick game! Who knows what else you got under your sleeve!"
⤠.. AW, SO, YOU DO NOT DESIRE TO LIVE ANYMORE?
Tongue tied, of course you don't want to.
It's not like you were fed up with life to that point despite even after all those years. This wasn't part of the plan. Not in a game where you'll meet your worse death in dreams. This wasn't where you wish to move to, and you refuse to submit. You still wanted to marry. Find a good man and have your own little familyâone that is filled with tiny giggles.
"No. You can't force me to play." Clenching your jaw, you spat at it with spite. "I don't care if you kill me. Fuck you and your game!"
Your shaky breath and the searing rays of the sun echoes and echoes, the only thing that was compensating for its lack of response. As it didn't type out any sentences, as if it was trying to comprehend your sentences into its mechanisms.
Until it did.
⤠.. THAT'S NEW, INTERESTING!
It beams up much to your bewilderment, looking almost too delighted? The colors on its display glowed a few shades brighter, compensating for its lack of facial expressions.
⤠.. IF PERHAPS YOU FRET THAT YOU'LL BE LONELY, THEN DON'T BE! YOU ARE NEVER TRULY ALONE IN THIS WORLD.
"They aren't real." You spat out.
⤠.. THEY ARE, BUT NOT FOR LONG
Your eyes widened. "What do you mean..?"
XO ! ii. NEVERLAND'S SONARE
Youthful.
You scanned your features in the mirror, fingertips grazing over the skin under your eyesâwhere heavy and dark eyebags use to persists, giving you a feeble appearance. Your employer often points it out with distasteful comments, expressing with disdain of how your haggard looks might deter potential clients away and bring discomfort to customers. Of how you ruin the atmosphere, his mood, specifically when you appeared. He often compares you with your fellow co-workers that seemed to look after their appearances with ease.
You complied, yet despite your best efforts in treating it, it just never seems to go away. But now, such a youthful look only to be laced with sullen eyesânot bearing even an ounce of energy.
Everyone wishes to be young once more. What is youth if not to run wild and free across whatever land you may imagine? Away from whatever life you wished to run from?
Not all people define youth the same way, though. To others, it may mean physical appearances. Downing a bunch of so-called youth pills, going through dozens of procedures, going under the knife, or the fantasy aspects of searching for the youth of fountain.
Some people, thoughâit meant going back to the way they was before a certain event had happened. The innocent little them that was filled with vigor and curiosity for life. Those vivid memories. These kind of people go through therapies, though.
Youth, youth.
What a funny word.
Yet it has such a deepened effect, a strong grasp on everyone's heads. But would ever they accept to be in a game just for that sake?
Another, yet different popup appears before you, displaying a few options.
âś TELEPORT TO SCHOOL
âś TELEPORT TO TOWN
âś TELEPORT TO BASEMENT
What a sick joke.
"Honey? Shouldn't you sit down for breakfast?"
You halted in your steps, gripping your backpack's strap. Perturbed by the scene of your family with your ex-boyfriend by the dining table, this was peak nightmare.
Suppressing the need to scoff at the image of your 'mother', it will never sit right with you, to sit down on the same table with the characters replicated as your family. Even more so with the replica of your father. So fucking twisted.
Your arms ache to embrace him but this is not your father. A home is supposed to be your bed of comfort, a shelter for protection yet this gives you an overwhelming feeling of strangers clumped up in one space. And him. You couldn't comprehend a single thing. Fitting so tightly, but never seems to belong together.
"I'm.." You gulped down, "Not hungry." You said, a little low for them to hear. But does that even matter? When they will eventually forget it, and return to their soulless routine.
You stepped out of the house for the second time, turning even more helpless and small by the sheer size of this map. This city. The street. The open shops. The pedestrian street. Its people. Children crossing the street with glee and joy.
Their innocent laughter sickens you, twisting the pit of your stomach.
The chill spring breeze blows a mouthful of cherry petals across the path ahead of you, dripping with the warm rays of the morning sun, accompanied by the chirping birds above the trees.
It almost looks too real. Just like all these younglings clad in their brightest uniforms mingling and walking alongside you, behind you, and in front of youâshrouding your line of vision, filling the air with their chatters and laughter.
The entrance to the academy greets your eyes with its opulent golden gate, the same scene that you often see whenever you started the game in your phone.
To stand in front of it was beyond your wildest dreams. A sense of dread envelops your body as you begin to step in, seeing the NPCs functioning according their monotonous coding; the teachers conversing with each other, and the students taking of their shoes and replacing it with the school's ones, heading to their respective classrooms or whatever their routine was for the day.
You gulped down, doing the same thing.
Sandwiched in-between them qualms your entire being, turning your legs into noodles. You almost losing your footing when you accidentally bumped against one of the NPCs, apologizing profusely which they in turn gave you subtle weirded out reaction before going off.
Your peripheral view caught the sight of the rooms; faculty, sewing, and so on. As you stood there, observing and observing; your eyes fell on a student with a camera on their hand, being wary of everyone else. Across the hall, you found the familiar scene of the martial arts club's members walking in a straight line. The occult club's leader strolling on his own as usual. The luscious partly dyed hair fading across the stairs, with their sweater knotted around their torso.
You still find it hard to believe, lost in your shrouded thoughts.
"Ugh!" You stumbled, almost falling on the floor if not for your quick reflex of gripping the nearest table. Turning your head to the brief apology behind you, you held the need to scoff. Of course, what is there to be surprised of?
"Oh! Sorry, didn't know you were here. You got too close, after all."
Neatly combed ginger hair, with eyes turning into crescents paired with a sweet smile. A sickening one, truth to be told. The all too familiar armband wrapped around their left arm and that pristine white uniform; the student council.
Your greatest enemy in this virtual world.
Equipped with spectacular wits, eagled eyes waiting for you to make one single mistake, hands itching to throw you into the faculty room once you do so. These students, five of them, in factâdon't trust you a single bit. You recalled the days of how pissed you were whenever they're suddenly appeared, ruining your mission, forcing you to restart all over again.
You mumbled a small it's okay, and she nodded in response, heading off to the opposite direction but not before taking a small peek at you. A gesture that is greatly embedded in their code. If anything, apart from the teachers and cops, the council is something you really have to watch out for.
Dealing with them isn't an easy feat, even trying to kill them is nearly impossible if you don't join the martial arts club first. All that club practices, and skills you have to increase. It was already difficult enough before, and now that you had to do it with your own hands. Things won't get easier from now on.
You'd have to memorize their routine in your mind to properly avoid them.
On the east side of the academy, you head to the second floor where across the hallâclassroom 2-1 greets your line of vision. Your feet halted as your ears caught on the conversations of the students chattering about and on, some other students arriving at the spot.
Gripping tightly at the straps of your backpack as your eyes met the cold floor, blotted with differing size of shoes. You muster the strength to lift your head, where beyond you witnessâthe hymns of the cherry blossom in the courtyard reaches the space, serving as a visual instrumentation to this pretend play; set of movements controlled and navigated by the game's mechanisms.
And there he was as expected.
Across the classroom, beside the windowâyou could see Nishimura Ri-ki gazing out the vast field with pure concentration.
You made your way to your seat where it is highlighted by pink flurry lights.
Pulling the chair back, you seated yourself down. A wave of uncertainty washes over your soul now that you had the complete view of this classroom. You look beside you when you felt eyes drilling a hole on your head, only to see the boy staring at you down with an uninterested look, or rather an expression you were unable to read. Not caring any less by the obvious fact that he was caught.
"What are you looking at?" You asked, puzzled by the boy's deepened stare, striking a chord in your soul.
"As if I'm looking at you." Ri-ki mumbles, chin buried on his palms.
Taken aback by his lack of manners, you scoffed in disbelief. "E-excuse me?"
He rips his gaze on your frame, yawning as he stretchesâdeeply confusing you of this new set of movements and dialogues. It appalled you further when he just stood up, leaving as if nothing happened at all.
"Hey!" You called out, but he went on simply ignoring you.
You frowned at his lack of manners, but well it is to be expected as he is the youngest among the yanderes, he'd been in the same class as you since you started the game. Yet you've never got the chance to approach him as there were no dialogues option. He was a close off, deep in his world type of teenager. You could only see him around his members, and mostly Jake.
That's why it surprises you that he talks for the first time.
Or rather that he was surprisingly rude.
You'd forgotten a huge portion of information related to him due to his profile being situated in the very bottom, but he's supposedly attending the Drama Club but dropped out of it after skipping the club activities for nearly two weeks.
So.. everything functions like how it would in the real world, except for their repeated codes and routines. You'd thought that they would act like NPCs in the first place like the ones back in your home but you were proven otherwise, because they were not here yet.
The students in this classroom are.
You no longer have to press buttons, and all those generic options to gain social and reputation points. You would no longer need to approach them first to talk with the.
But for some reason, that words that didn't even amount to a proper conversation stirs something in you. It affected you. Because it felt too real. Almost like you were back in the real world seconds ago. But how is that even possible when you already knew why this virtual world ceases to exist.
Why it existed in the first place.
You held your composure as you seated yourself in the back of this classroom, with everything to bathe in your line of vision. A perfect audience seat to witness this orchestration of parody, of theatre, of lifeâsurrounded with noises, yet it's so hollow.
The word "weird" is not the right word to describe your feeling right now. It was as if you were existing in-between space and time. A world that is in-between.
You don't belong here, yet at the same time, you do. You are alone, but you are not exactly alone.
Biting your lip, you clenched a fistful of your skirt as you lowered your head down, shutting your eyes tight.
⤠.. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS GAME?
Appalled by its question, you remained silent---in which it lets out a robotic giggle paired with what you assumed to be a kaomoji.
⤠.. DON'T BE SHY! THERE'S NO SHAME IN DESIRING TO BE LOVED. TO BE THIRSTED FOR, AND TO BE CARED FOR, DON'T ALL WE? ⤠.. YOU PLAYED THIS GAME KNOWING WHAT ITS BASED ON, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS GAME WORKS?
"Quit messing with me." You spat out.
⤠.. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. YOU GUESS IT! WHAT MAKES A HUMAN, A HUMAN. WHAT MAKES THEM ALIVE. WHAT MAKES THEM, THEM; THEIR PSYCHE. ⤠.. SHALL A PLAYER LOSE; A FRAGMENT OF THEIR PSYCHE IS APPLIED IN THE GAME WHICH IN TURN MORPHS INTO A NEW FEATURE IN THE GAME. ⤠.. THE SHELL, WHICH IS THEIR BODY---IS UP TO ME TO DECIDE WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO WITH IT. ⤠.. ABSORPTION AS I CALL IT, YOU HUMANS CALLS IT 'UPDATE'!
"Ab-absorption?" As you read along the lines, something leaks out from behind your ribs. "Are you saying that there were.. p-people before me?"
⤠.. VERY SMART, MY DARLING. YES, EVERY SOUL IS SPECIAL AND UNIQUE, ⤠.. THEY BRING A WHOLE NEW FLAVOR TO THE GAME. WHAT THE GAME MAY TAKE, IT WILL DO SO ACCORDINGLY WITH THE HEART OF THE HOST. THE HEART DECIDES. ⤠.. ANY PSYCHE; LIGHT OR DARK; WHATEVER HAS THE MOST IMPACT IN THEIR SOUL ARE PULLED INTO THIS GAME. THEREFORE YOU CAN SAY, EACH PLAYER INFLUENCES THE GAME. ⤠.. YOU CAN CALL IT, THE PROOF OF THEIR LIFE. EMOTIONS, THEY'RE THE ONLY THING THAT IS ETERNAL AND IMMORTAL.
"Shoot!"
Students bursts into a fit of laughter, playing a silly game before class.
A groan surfaces.
"Guys, stop being so noisy. I'm trying to concentrate here!"
"Concentrate, on what? Exams?"
A round of giggles followed after.
Clawing your fingers over your head as you try to push off all these sounds, all these meaningless conversations. You knew this set of dialogues will be repeated again, again and again. Noises that don't held any thing in them.
A subtle knock echoed amidst the petty ordeals, capturing the classroom's concentration out of whatever they were currently at.
Numerous sets of eyes fell on the fragile and tiny frame of a girl with a bandana wrapped around her head, as she carries a tray full of baked muffins; a familiar image of a member of the cooking club.
"Hey, anyone wanna taste some muffins I made?"
A round of cheers and bouts of exclaimed hungers send shivers down your spine. You watched as each of them took their turns, taking the muffin from the tray.
"Hey,"
With heavy eyes, you met hers that was wholly empty, like looking into a deepest depths of a well, wondering if you'll ever capture something in motion, only to be greeted with somber reality that there was not.
"Want one?" Hair dripping in jet black, tied up in a half updo bun. Those words floated out of her faint pink lips that had subtle bite marks on them, it seems old and scarred. A gentle voice that complements her soft features. "Been trying to perfect this recipe, can you give me your feedback after you tasted it?"
Perfect.. perfect what?
You suppressed the need to scoff, instead forcing a painful smile as you took the muffin from the tray. "Thanks."
"Hanni! It tastes so good!"
"Oh my god, really? I'm so glad!"
All these faces.. This sheer size of the game, the fact that they were all here, meant that no one has ever truly won this game.
⤠.. THAT ..WILL BE YOUR ENDING IF YOU LOSE, WHEN YOU FAILâTHEY WILL, TOO END UP HERE WITH YOU. ⤠.. ISN'T IT LOVELY? ⤠.. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER THEY SAY, YET THIS EMOTION CALLED 'AFFECTION' IS A LOT MORE STRONGER. YOUR AFFECTION FOR THEM IS THE REASON THEY'RE ABLE TO BE REPLICATED IN THE FIRST PLACE. I DON'T SEE WHAT'S THE PROBLEM THOUGH, ATLEAST YOU'LL BE WITH YOUR FAMILY! ⤠.. WON'T THAT STILL BE A HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU?
How is that a happy ending? You couldn't utter that one question. How is any of these a happy ending?
You laughed. A short yet broken one, with your eyes getting blotted with swirls. Sucking your lips in as you tried to understand it, yet your eyes mirrors your thoughts; pacing round and round. You don't even know where to begin. What even is this madness? It's insane. Terribly insane.
So, all this time.. You were playing a game made out of real people? Real people who used to live?
A stupid, stupid game you once found imminent solace in, are nothing but a mass graveyard. You could at least stand it a bit more if you weren't walking alongside with people that used to live. But no.
No wonder why this world is so vast.
Even that word is an understatement. A virtual world you could spend all your day in it. No. It's a stage, a dollhouse where the audience is also its mastermind, with strings attached on the puppetsâripping, tweaking, weaving, piecing together into an amalgamation of their desired character.
Those missing people plastered on posters all round the alleyways and all else, with a trace nowhere to be seen, as if they never existed in the first place. You've wondered if perhaps this is where they've fallen into. Some of them.
You wonder how each of them met their end? All of them must have failed in numerous ways, but one thing is clear; they lose and that's what leads them to their current stateâonce a fallen player, their existence will be wiped out..
From everything they've ever been, subjected to a monstrous aftermath.
A monster that preys and feeds on people's desires. A monster that rewrites new scenarios, events, and all sorts accordingly every time someone falls in and losesâthen it makes perfectly sense, absorbing the players in it keeps the game alive.
How cruel.
You shook your head, breaking your brain in half trying to search for a way. "I'll play! Just please, don't put my family into this!"
⤠.. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS, MY DARLING. THE ONLY WAY FOR THEM TO AVOID GETTING SUCK IN HERE WITH YOU IS FOR YOU TO 'UNLOVE' THEM. ⤠.. WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO DO THAT?
Your head fell down in agony. There's no way you could do that. That is beyond reality. You don't fell out love with someone in just a day, do you?
⤠.. NO RIGHT? ⤠.. WHY'D YOU THINK YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND WAS ABLE TO BE REPLICATED IN THE FIRST PLACE?
⤠.. THAT'S VERY WELL THE REASON WHY THIS GAME WILL REMAIN IMMORTAL WITH ITS HOSTS' ETERNAL SOULS. ⤠.. NOTHING IS ETERNAL BUT A HUMAN'S SOUL. WHY'D YOU THINK A MERE OBJECT COULD HOLD CURSES AND PROMISES? FEELINGS IMMORTALIZED EVERYTHING. ⤠.. HUMAN NATURE IS SO COMPLEX AND STRONG, YET SO FRAGILE. IT LEAKS OUT WHEN ITS BROKEN. SO LONG AS HUMANS BEAR THESE FORCES, NOTHING WILL EVER FLOATS AWAY. ISN'T THAT FASCINATING?
"Wait," You lifted your eyes from the floor, gulping down. "How about the yanderes themselves? W-were they once real people too?"
Its pink shade glowed and dimmed down.
⤠.. WHO KNOWS? ⤠.. WHAT DO YOU THINK? ⤠.. THAT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW WHEN YOU SUCCEEDED.
There it goes again. Playing with you.
"Then how do I win?" The question came out dry, filled with nothing but helplessness.
⤠.. YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE ANSWER YOURSELF, DARLING. IT'S SIMPLE. ⤠.. JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET TO BE THE ONE TO TIGHTEN HIS HEART STRINGS, AND NO ONE ELSE. ⤠.. AND THAT IS TO ELIMINATE ALL THOSE OBSTACLES THAT STRIVES TO BE THE APPLE OF HIS EYES. ⤠.. YOU MUST BE IT INSTEAD. ⤠.. AND YOU DO KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO ACHIEVE THAT, RIGHT?
Right, it's very simple it's almost hilarious. You'll end up just like any side character if you fail to become the yandere's darling.
The law of attraction. You attract what you desire. Yet often times, you received it in the most twisted forms presented by life.
If you want to live, you have to make sure he falls for you and no one else.
These yanderes are unable to discern between genders. Male or female, any breathing living being is a threat in their love-sick perspective. The mere, mere you are perceived in this light where just being close with their darling regardless of proximity and labelsâis as easy as labelling you a sore thumb or better yet a pest that latches to what they deemed as theirs.
Because to them, who the fuck do you think you are? You don't even deserve to breath the same air or step in the same ground as their darling. Absurd. But to them, their darling is the source of their oxygen. Taking away what gets them going is the same as murdering them. That's basically refusing them their human rights, you know?
So if you don't get thatâthen in their eyes, you're better off dead because you don't deserve it either.
They adorned this bright smile around everyone, being friendly and welcoming but beneath that facade was a seething intricate web of lies and manipulation, waiting to strike. If you were too dumb to notice or deduce all the signs, then it will only be by the end of the day, when the sun has set, when it's the moonlight's turn to conquerâwill you only then know, that you've dug the path to your grave.
A creature governed by heart, molded by its whims and beats. Turning into a recipe for disaster.
Exhilarating, you're drawn to this very concept ever since. However, even when you've wish for this beings to exist, prayed for them even. It was never in your wildest dreams that you'd be stuck in a game with one.
⤠.. ANY INQUIRIES, YOU MAY CHECK YOUR FLIP PHONE. IT CONTAINS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW LIKE A HANDBOOK."
You fished out the object in question from your pockets, the flip phone back in the morningâit remains heavy on your palms despite its lightweight material, as it bears your lifeâcontaining everything.
Inside this, you are able to check everything that is necessary for you to know; tasks, favors, schedule, inventory, etc. The date is set in the year 2026, yet the phones they used were from twenty years agoâa world where social media hasn't reached its peak yet.
It's a world that stood in the midst of everything.
⤠.. FLIP PHONES WAS NOT A MAJOR FEATURE UNTIL ONE PLAYER WHO HAD AN OBSESSION WITH IT, FAIL. FASCINATING, ISN'T?
A world that is centered around its players' psyche. Then what will your existence bring into this game?
Only time could tell.
⤠.. GOOD LUCK!
Survive.
Yes. That's all I have to do.
The moment you lose everything that is you, you will be nothing but a part of the long lost souls in this deserted land of twisted roleplay game.
You just have to get through it. Make sure not to fail this time. Make him fall for you and not anyone else.
And him. Jungwon. You have to meet him soon. However you can't rush, one wrong move like you did will cost everything
There's one thing you have to consider thoughâyour reputation; forget about getting close to Jungwon, your reputation meter itself is the second most important to your existence here as without it, you're but a burden to the society. The black sheep. You're basically nonexistent here.
All because of that choices and dialogues you've chosen so far in the game, you've set yourself up for failure. The pointer at your meter bar are hovering over the black section. You are left exactly of where you last played last night. The stakes are exceedingly high, dimming down every chance of light to come down your way.
You were already lucky enough to not have your progress reset, however that meant nothing but being perceived as one of Jungwon's rejected love confessions. A girl that has lose his favor. You'd have to find a way somehow to regain your reputation back and most importantly, his heart.
Pretend play, just like playhouse.
Your eyes lingered beyond the window, observing how the petals floated down. But how and where do you even begin? If you recalled it correctly; apart from attending classes, Jungwon's routine consists of hanging around with his friends, spend his alone time in the courtyard, attend his club practices, and then catch up with his friends outside the school's entrance after school. It won't be long till a girl comes around and sandwich herself into his life.
You cannot waste anymore time.
He must be roaming around the academy as of now, most certainly hanging around with his friends. The first period would be done about an hour from now, and he'd be occupied with his routine as well too.
But how the heck do you even approach him again? It would be so awkward and weird in his perspective when a girl he rejected, acts all lovey-dovey, and shameless at that. You might be even labelled as a weirdo, not knowing her boundaries despite being rejected.
Somehow, someway.. You would eventually have to resort to such methods. As much as you loathe the very word, they can either be your obstacles or you an turn them into your weapon. But can you even find the heart to do so? No, that's not the right question, are you even capable of doing that?
Your thoughts were interrupted by footsteps approaching from the distance, revealing a girl with shock illustrated all over her visage.
"Oh my god, guys! This is insane! You have to see this! There's a love confession happening in the courtyard and it's no one other than Yang Jungwon!"
She almost lose her footing as she relayed the message with downright glee, only for a multitude of questions and profanities to rose up in response.
"What?! Who is it?"
"Eh, who?"
"Wait, what?" It came out as a soft whisper, yet a stark contrast of your terror-filled eyes widening, an ear-wrenching creak from your chair emitted because of how you stood up so quickly, following after them.
What do you mean, a love confession?! I haven't even started yet!
The halls quake immensely like soldiers in their training, seas of shoes slammed against the floor all while multitude of questions arose in your head, where the words spilling out of the students' lips running alongside you only amplified your perennial dread.
Please, please, do not accept it! Please-
You let out harsh yelp when you suddenly collided against someone in full-force, forcing you to fall on your back. Your face scrunched at the throbbing pain in your muscles, clutching your back with greeted teeth. A series of grunts and hisses are layered on top of yoursâcussing about how you should watch your steps. Your eyes shoot open, turning your head beside youâonly to be met with another member of the Yanderes.
Park Sunghoon. The side of his face planted on the floor, whilst his books and assignment papers scattered about in a mess.
Horror engulfed your features, immediately pushing yourself up. Apologizing profusely as you collected the books and the papers, gathering them in your arms, rearranging them back neatly.
The boy slowly sat up with disheveled hair, lifting his head up with grim expression and narrowed eyes behind those glassesâspecifically directed at you. Getting up on his knees, he dusted his pants with a hiss all while fixing his vest back.
"I see that you have eyes just like everyone else," Sunghoon leans forward, an intimidating aura emitting from him causing you to step backwards. "Atleast watch where you're going?"
His lips twisted in a sneer as he spoke, clearly showing you that he is not at all impressed by your clumsy mistake.
"I-I'm sorryâ" You stammered, your eyes trembles as it met his brown ones, despite being obscured by the faint lens, it was immensely vivid; swirling in the sands of the sizzling dessert, fiery and intenseâyou could feel it scorching in your skin, a stark contrast from his icy skin.
So close, you could examine his features decorated with moles, and down at his faint red lips. He did not say anything, yet those blazing pupils examined your features as if it was searching for something.
This is not good. A potential yandere. You don't know why, but you had this inkling creeping inside you that you shouldn't associate yourself with other yanderes except for Jungwon.
"Kid," Leaning away, he let outs a 'tsk' with a frown, perching up the rims of his glasses neatly on the bridge of his nose before snatching his stuffs from your arms, using his other hand to gesture towards his eyes. "Next time, use your eyes more."
Finishing it up by shooting you a glare, and then heading off. You stood there in bewilderment as his silhouette faded in the distance, wondering what had just happened.
Yet you let out a relief exhale.
Park Sunghoon. What was it about him again? The generic description of him being an icy prince bounces back in your head, turning on a beaming lightbulb. Despite being labelled as that, he attends the Cooking Club much to everyone's surprise, together with his fellow member Jay.
The two of them often spent the afterhours experimenting with recipes, forcing their fellow members to taste the dishes they made. It was returned with a slight acknowledgement from Heeseung, commenting that it's not bad, followed by a couple of nods from rest. However you recalled how your stomach aches during a bout of laughter when Jungwon almost choked afterâ
Wait! You snapped your head behind you, the love confession!
Sprinting to the location where many other students gathered in front of the window shoulder-to-shoulder.
The glass panes of the academy were filled up to the brim, spilling with faces illustrated with variety of expressions; intrigue, interest, disbelief, and envyâall pushing their heads out to get a much better view of the courtyard. The entire commotion echoing the morbid chaos of Baroque paintings.
Yours was illustrated with an invisible weight of a noose looped around your neck. An invisible weight of stones slamming against your face as you halted your steps, nearing the edge of the window.
Like an auditorium with their utmost concentration glued on the stage; a theatre play of a romantic tale, an union of two hearts yet its nothing but a masquerade of your eventual execution.
As beyond that window, a girl you've never seen stood before him. Propelling your eyes to rattle in immense storm, your heart sailing in amidst the raging crimson ocean.
W-where the fuck did she even came from?
It should've been you.
It should've been you beside himâ
Your face stiffened, a gasp caught in the back of your throat as your lips fell apart in inches. Everything slowed down except him; everyone, that girl, and you.
This heart behind your ribcage palpitates in a different motion; striking a chord that pounded your veins, till it submerged your eardrums in its frenzied rush. The desire to let yourself fall in his arms grew immense.
Your pupils snapping and panning closer akin to a camera lens, searching deeper for the features that spells your purpose for life. Closer. You couldn't make out the outline of his face. Trying one more time, blinking frantically as the rims of your eyes tears up.
There he was, standing in the courtyardâYang Jungwon under the the cherry blossom tree, where the dropping petals adorned his visage, bringing in the saccharine touch of life. Exuding sheer perfection, captivating the audience's heart.
This charming aura he carries, laid-back demeanor, the way his fringe sways alike silk with the hush of the spring breeze. It's all too exhilarating. Heartstrings looped around your poor heart. Moonstruck. It propels your eyes to shy away like the moon does.
Chaos.
You wince at the sudden increase of volume reaching your ears, clutching your ears as you yelp with your eyes shut tight.
This trance-like spell, you snapped out of it with terror. Noticing the rosy tint that engulfs your vision whenever it fell on him. This entire landscape bathing in saccharine pink. The rhythm of your heart mimicking his breathing patterns, it aches. How your eyes swell into love-sick hearts against the window's reflection. It perturbed your soul.
What the fuck. This isn't you.
A fatal trouble, you're truly deep into it.
It felt like your face were being pushed into a well against your will.
It must be the game mechanism turning you this wayâto be thrown into the same state as the game character you were playing, it sends chills down your spine. You slapped yourself to reality. He isn't real.
"What is she doing?"
"Is that Minji?"
Your ears caught on to the name spilling out of numerous arrays of lips.
That girl, Kim Minji. Enunciating the name on the tip of your tongue, it prompted your head to tilt sideways in confusion. You've never heard or encounter this character in the game before, or perhaps you've miss her existence by not bothering to check the entire NPCs' list.
But..
You were given a second chance to play one more time, so why is there another girl here..? This game functions on love confession, and who ever the girl isâif its accepted by your chosen yandereâthen she won.
It will be game over.
However you were dead sure, today wasn't Friday yet. Fishing out your flip phone from your pockets, you flicked it openâeyes widening in fear as the date displays the third day of the week, Wednesday. Two days before the supposed deadline.
"Jungwon, I like you!"
The three words you've been dreading she had uttered.
She immediately shut her eyes tight with her cheeks illustrated with the deep hues of a blossoming rose, eyebrows knitted together, gripping her skirt into shambles within her digits.
Your knuckles involuntarily clenched on the edge of the window.
A series of gasps and murmurs emitted in unison, forming a rather comical orchestration. Some finds it utterly hilarious, leaning into their friend's earsâuttering about how Jungwon would never find her interesting and that her confession was all too vain. There are plenty of interesting faces dripped in the finest wines in the seas of cherry blossoms, far more suitable and deserving of his love, so how could sheâa mere girlâare able to catch his interest?
Your lips fell slightly apart, not being able to process the words you're hearing right now as that girl is what you definitely would not call 'mere'. Hush whispers and gossips followed through, one after another, refusing to fleet into nothingnessâas it was stuck in the heavy pungent jealousy, tied even tighter with woven prayers for Jungwon to reject her.
They kept chanting; a fool. She's a fool. A fool is all she is. A love confession in the courtyard, for everyone to see. She's setting herself up as the object of amusement, a clown of the year.
This game is truly twisted.
Silence eventually befalls as everyone waited in patience, ribs swelling down with the amount of breathe they took in their lungs, anticipating for Jungwon's answer.
The boy opens his mouth, his expressions unreadable. The tension heavy in weight, with everyone paralyzed and stuck between the two answers. Lips are sewn tight. Wishes differ. Yet those four words bears the flame to your torch of life.
If he.. if Yang Jungwon says yes to this love confession, you're gone for good. Vapored away. Spelling the end of your existence.
Please. Prayers shrouded your mind.
Please don't accept it.
I haven't even started yet!
His outstretched palms reached for the girl's, "I like you too, Minji." Jungwon pulls a shy smile, an affectionate gaze swirling in his eyes.
The girl in question, were filled with aghast, her eyes swimming in bliss as she covered her mouth with her hands.
It was as if time had stopped.
His response elicited a spur of tumultuous reactions from every single student present in the academy; one helping out their passed out friend, with one choking on their sandwich, and the other with their jaw dropped on the groundâwhile you, are having flashes of your death and your family's tragic end; the scene of you lying down in a pool of blood, while the members of your family falling down into the gameâwhere all of you will eventually lose your consciousnessâmemories and identities vanishing from the world as if you didn't exist at all.
T-this can't be happening. You shook your head in denial.
Your line of vision drowning into the distant sea, morphing into a crashing storm. Swallowing a sore lump down your throat, you gripped the window's edge, fingers rattling as you watched the entire ordeal playing out.
A portrayal of parody.
It's hopeless. You are going to die.
These rampant thoughts piled up one after another in your head, clouding you with sporadic paranoia as your feet turned outwards, walking away, slowly accelerating in speedâhugging yourself as you choke up on your tears.
XO ! iii. PERSONA
You're done for.
Hiding in the storage room, curling yourself down as you covered your head with your hands. With a thousand apologies to your family all while waiting for death to come and get you. You lamented the day you ever came to found this game.
A pink glow of light illuminated the soles of your feet, turning the space into a well-lit theatreâwith you as the main spotlight.
⤠.. WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT FACE?
"I lose." With a hoarse voice and tears dried, you look down your palms---observing its deepened etches. "It's game over."
⤠..GAME OVER? WHO SAYS? ⤠.. YOU KNOW YOU STILL CAN GET HIM.
"What do you mean I can? He already accepted it! Wasn't that the point?"
⤠.. ACCEPTED WHAT? THE LOVE CONFESSION? THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, A GIRLFRIEND IS ALL SHE IS ⤠.. NOT HIS DARLING.
"H-huh?"
⤠.. HIS EYES.. A LOOK OF FONDNESS IS ALL HE HAD FOR THAT GIRL, NOT THE LOOK OF OBSESSION. HIS LOVE METER HAVEN'T EVOLVED INTO WHAT WE CALL A YANDERE METER. THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAD JUST STARTED IN LESS THAN 40 MINUTES. ⤠.. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO GET HIM BACK, AS QUICK AS YOU CAN, BEFORE HE FALL DEEPER. BECAUSE IF HE DOES, DEPENDING ON THE ROUTES YOU TAKE, YOU MIGHT BE UNFORTUNATE TO UNLOCK THE ENDING WHERE YOU ARE MURDERED BY THE YANDERE HIMSELF.
"Get him back? How am I supposed to do that?" How is he supposed to look at you now that he already had a lover, whom he'd rather spend time with? Even if he hasn't turn into a yandere yet, that doesn't make anything easier.
Both paths remains bleak, filled with razor-sharp spikes protruded ahead.
⤠.. WHATEVER YOU MAY CHOOSE TO GO WITH; RUIN HER REPUTATION BY SPREADING RUMOURS, THAT WOULD DO THE TRICK BY GETTING JUNGWON WARY OF HER. BUT ITS QUITE A HASSLE, AND DOESN'T DO YOU AY GOOD AS YOUR REPUTATION IS NOT THE VERY LEAST INTERESTING TO LOOK AT.
You obviously can't.
Gossiping is a deal-breaker. You might've accomplished your goal by tainting her reputation but the price in return accost you in the end. It doesn't benefit you at all as you will be labelled as the 'gossiper'.
⤠.. MAYBE YOU COULD GET HER EXPELLED, BY PUTTING FORBIDDEN STUFFS IN HER BOOKBAG. BUT THAT'S RATHER RISKY? THERE ARE COUNTLESS OF METHODS, YOU CHOOSE.
You remain silent, shaky pupils boring a hole on your hands as you weighed the risks. The receiver of the greater risk is always you. A single mistake costs everything.
⤠.. THEN YOU CAN KILL HER.
Your eyes widened. "No.." Your head shook on its own. "I c-can't do that."
⤠.. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT? ⤠..IF YOU WANT TO PLAY IT SAFE, PERHAPS GET SOME RAT POISON FROM THE MARKET. SHE WILL BE GONE BEFORE YOU KNEW IT. IT WOULD BE A SPECTACLE, A SIGHT, EVEN!
"I. Will. Not. Kill. Her."
You emphasized, stressing each single word, showing your resolute determination.
There's no way you'd stoop down that low.
Its suggestion was beyond your capability of understanding, nor was it an acceptable one in the first place. You've failed to comprehend how it can utter such chilling topic in such a leisure manner.
And there was no way you could ever bring yourself to witness them relive death for the second time.
⤠.. HUH? WHO CARES? THEY'RE ALREADY GONE, WHAT'S ALL THAT REMORSEFUL LOOK FOR?
It just doesn't feel right. It doesn't sit well with you.
Who were they before they fell into this game?
What did they do?
What did they love to do?
What were their last words before they were gone?
It imbued your insides with a heavy weight, driven with guilt to think of these people with lives they used to hold that was now nothing but an empty hollow shell. Their flesh and skin used as a mere toy.
They aren't just people to you. People aren't static objects. They're beings.
Everywhere you look; all you could see was people that once a life worth of memories before, now sucked up and absorbed as nothing but a code of repetition, and the proof of them living now but a feature that glares against your face.
They're now a burning memory.
⤠.. THIS IS WHAT THE GAME IS FOR, YOU'D THINK YOU STILL HAD YOUR MORALITY INTACT? YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE MUCH FOR THEM WHEN YOU GO ON A KILL STREAK THAT DAY?
"That doesn't count!" You exclaimed, gritting your teeth. "I never knew they were real peopleâlike who would have think so?"
⤠.. BUT YOU ENJOYED IT. ⤠.. I'VE NOT YET FORGOTTEN HOW YOUR EYES LOOKS LIKE THAT DAY.
Hissing with desperation, you looked down on your splayed hands.
"No.. It was never supposed to be like this." You shook your head, "The game doesn't even work this way, I was suppose to get him before the love confession, two days before Friday! What did you change?!"
⤠.. DON'T YOU GET IT? ⤠.. YOU'VE FAILED ONCE. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS BEING RESET, DARLING. THIS WAS AFTER YOUR 'GAME OVER'. ⤠.. IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SOUL, YOU ARE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF BEHIND THE SCENES. ⤠.. WITH HIGHER STAKES, OF COURSE.
Tears begin to spill from your eyes, "No. . I can't win this way."
Lips trembling as you say so, memories from the past rushing back and flooding your insides with a heavy weight.
Higher stakes? For what? All you wanted was to play. To get into your little fantasy world, devoid of stress. The world was already too far from perfect. With this fucked up corporate life, filled with capitalism, never-ending bills---at this point, you're only surviving through all of it, not living.
But have you been really living all this time?
Everything else in the world has far more worst things that happened to them than you do. But with this small void in your heart, it shouldn't be wrong to be embrace by a little warmth, someone to cup your cheeks in their hands as they press a tender kiss on your forehead, right?
It shouldn't be wrong to indulge yourself in your little silly fantasies. So why?
⤠.. SPARE YOURSELF FROM THE ILLUSION OF GAIN WITHOUT SACRIFICE, MY DARLING.
Nothing is truly free.
This world has always given you an illusion of choice but the thing is, nothing is really free. You may have given something in an exchange for nothing, but life will soon claim it in numerous ways and various forms you could never imagine.
⤠.. OH COME ON NOW! ⤠.. AIN'T THIS A ONE LIFETIME CHANCE FOR YOU? ⤠.. YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH MURDER UNLIKE IN THE REAL WORLD!
"That isn't right." Your head drops down in downright despair. "J-just.. just kill me, I can't do this. Your fucking twisted game.."
⤠.. OH DARLING.. WHY BOTHER ABOUT SOME PETTY LIVES BUT YOUR LOVED ONES? ⤠.. WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE, A STRANGER WHOSE LIFE NO LONGER EXISTS OR YOUR FAMILY WHO STILL HAVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES BEFORE THEM?
You stiffened. How? How did you actually forgot, how can you forget? Your family.. All these emotional outbursts has rendered you totally hopeless to the point you forgot for a split second that you're not the only one at the stake.
"I will not kill her! I'll find a way.." You clasped your head, desperately trying to think of a better option. "There's got to be some way... Right! The match-making method!"
⤠.. HOW FASCINATING.. ⤠.. YOUR MORALS ARE STILL QUITE INTACT DESPITE HAVING YOUR MENTAL PSYCHE SLOWLY REGRESSING.
What? You lifted your head back up, sniffing and gasping. "What are you saying? R-regressed.. w-what?"
⤠.. WELL, I'M CERTAIN THAT YOU'VE NOTICE SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH YOU?
You remained silent. Yet as your eyes fell on each word it typed out next, it widens in terror.
⤠.. YOUR YOUTHFUL LOOKS.. ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT RETURNED, YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL PSYCHE AS WELL. IN OTHER WORDS, MENTAL REGRESSION. ⤠.. YOU KNOW THE SAYINGS, YOU MAY BE EIGHTY, NINETY, BUT INSIDE YOU'RE STILL THE SAME. ⤠.. I TOLD YOU, DIDN'T I? YOU AIN'T A FULL-FLEDGED ADULT YET.
"You!" Pushing yourself upwards, gritting your teeth.. "What else you didn't tell me about?! You wanted me-" Pointing at yourself harshly. "To play your game yet you're treating your own player like this?"
⤠.. THERE'S NO FUN IN TELLING YOU EVERYTHING AT ONCE. WHAT'S A GAME FOR IF NOT FOR THAT SOLE PURPOSE? ⤠.. YOU FIGURE OUT EVERY SINGLE THING YOURSELF. WHAT AM I, IF NOT A LITTLE POP-UP TO GUIDE YOU ONCE IN AWHILE. ⤠.. THE REST IS UP TO YOUR WITS AND ABILITIES TO SURVIVE.
"What else didn't you tell me then?!" You yelled at the top of your lungs, clenching your fists tight. "Tell me now!"
⤠.. OH DARLING, NOW THAT'S WHAT I LOVE! ALRIGHT, THEN. ⤠.. DO YOU KNOW.. YOU MAY DO AS YOU WANT YET YOU HAVE TO HURRY. ⤠.. BECAUSE YOUR SOUL WON'T WITHSTAND STAYING IN THIS WORLD ANY LONGER.
"W-what do you mean?"
⤠.. RIGHT! I'VE ONLY TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AFTER YOU LOSE, THE FINAL PHASE OF ABSORPTION. ⤠.. NOT ABOUT THE FIRST PHASE.. YET, THE PROCESS OF ABSORPTION.
The terror swirling inside the pit of your stomach grew tenfold. First phase..?
⤠.. ARE YOU SCARED? DON'T BE! I THOUGHT I'D SPARE YOU FROM THIS KNOWLEDGE A LITTLE BIT LONGER, YET THIS VIGOR OF YOURS INTRIGUES ME. ⤠.. YOU KNOW, ABSORPTION DOESN'T START THE MOMENT YOU FAIL. IT STARTED THE MOMENT YOU'VE ACCEPTED MY INVITATION. ⤠.. YOU CLAIMED YOU DON'T WANT TO KILL, YET DARLING, THAT'S FAR FROM THE TRUTH. YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT ONCE. ⤠.. BECAUSE THE SKIN IN WHICH YOU WERE PLAYING ALL THIS TIME, THE 'YOU' THAT LOSE LAST NIGHT IS ONE OF THE FALLEN PLAYERS' SKIN. BY ACCEPTING MY INVITATION FOR A SECOND CHANCE, A SECOND TRY. YOU'VE AGREED TO USE YOUR OWN SKIN, REMEMBER? ⤠.. THEREFORE IN THAT VERY MOMENT, IT HAD BEGUN.
Every single word it types out struck you deeper and deeper.
⤠.. AND NOW, YOU'D THINK THAT YOU ARE STILL YOU. WELL YES, IN FACT, YOU STILL ARE. ⤠.. BUT THE FIRST PHASE IS.. HOW CAN I SAY? IT BEGINS.. WITH YOUR YOUTH SLOWLY AND AND GRADUALLY RETURNING BACK. ⤠.. YOU'LL LOOK MORE YOUNGER WITH EACH DAY. ⤠.. AND THEN YOUR SOUL WILL START REGRESSING TO THE VERY MOMENT YOU EXPERIENCE THE PEAK OF EMOTION; JOY, BLISS, LOVE, WRATH.. THE POINT OF LIFE WHERE IT HAS IMPACTED YOU THE MOST. YOU WILL FIND YOUR MEMORIES FROM THAT POINT GROWING MORE VIVID AS IT WAS YOUR FIRST TIME TO EXPERIENCE IT. ⤠.. IN A SENSE, THE YOU FROM THAT PARTICULAR POINT WILL RETURN. ISN'T THAT FUN?
"Are you s-saying," Stuttering, struggling to form coherent words according to what you just read. "T-that everyone," You paused, engulfed with disbelief. "âaround here.. was stuck in a particular age?"
⤠.. CORRECT! ITS THE AGE WHERE THEY FEEL THE MOST INTENSE EMOTIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME. ⤠.. KIND OF LIKE, TIME TRAVELLING BUT A LITTLE DIFFERENT!
Your lips fell apart.
Everyone here.. are the manifestation of when their psyche receives the most impact. As if getting absorbed here wasn't enough. They even had to suffer?
⤠.. BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE.
It twirls around, with its pinkness glowing brighter in shade every passing second. It leans closer, looking down at you.
⤠.. TO RETURN TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU WILL HAVE TO CONQUER THE WHIMS OF YOUR CHOSEN ONE'S ⤠.. HOWEVER, THE LONGER YOU TAKE TO WIN HIS HEART. ⤠.. THE MORE YOUR BODY AND SOUL WILL ROT.
"What do you mean by r-rot? In what way.. will I rot?" You stammered, suffocated by the entire revelation.
It beams up so bright it strains your eyes.
⤠..THE MOMENT IT STOPS RIGHT WHERE YOUR PSYCHE EXACTLY ARE, WHERE IT REMAINS. ⤠.. YOU WILL START TO ROT.. IN A WAY YOU FEAR THE MOST. YOUR FEARS MANIFESTING AND DEVOURING YOU ALMOST LITERALLY! YOU MAY WONDER WHY? HUMANS ROT WHEN THEIR EMOTIONS ARE AMPLIFIED INTO A VOLUME THAT RENDERED THEM UNABLE TO THINK. ⤠.. ISN'T IT FASCINATING? EACH SOUL TRULY HAS ITS UNIQUE FLAVOR, REMEMBER? AND THATS WHAT MAKES EVERY SOUL A FREAK SHOW TO WITNESS!
Sheer terror illuminated your pupils, sucking out each hope of ever returning to the real world.
You could feel itâshreds of your remaining sanity slipping away.
⤠.. THE CODES FEEDS ON HUMAN'S FRAGILITY, MIMICKING ITS COMPLEXITY ALL WHILE ABSORBING ITS HOST AS A PART OF IT. ROLLING OUT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT! ⤠.. THAT IS THE FINAL PHASE. ⤠.. BY THEN, IT IS MY CHOICE WHETHER TO TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY PAWNS, OR DISCARD YOU. I CAN EITHER TURN THE FALLEN PLAYERS INTO THE NPCS YOU SEE EVERYDAY, LIKE A DOLL! OR INTO THE COLLECTIONS OF SKIN FOR PLAYERS IN THE REAL WORLD TO PLAY. ⤠..DO YOU GET IT NOW?
No, I don't get it.
You sat there, staring off into the space, chanting that sentence in your head all while dealing with the horrifying fact that your life truly no longer belongs to you. Paralyzed in downright fear.
Tangled in this predicament, called hell.
Not a single reaction surfaces from your face. Your head drops down like a hand stitched doll with its neck ripped in half, showcasing an image of its head supported by a snapping piece of thread. Met with the sight of your shoes, you would really never be able to return home, do you?
"Why.." You mumbled in a low voice.
"I don't get it." Getting up on your knees, filled with despair. The suffocating pain inside you contorts into madness, exploding you finally did. "W-why are you doing this to me?!"
You bawled, yelling at it in the top of your lungs, shaking with rage shook with rage as red hot tears streamed out the rims of your eyes.
"Why did you even exists?" Punching your chest, you flailed your arms around. "Why are you doing this to all of us?!"
"What did we do to you?!" A long, stretched out wail of agony poured out of your throat. "You're a monster!"
"No, am I?"
Your jaw dropped on the ground. As the popup morphs into a pink cat before your very eyes, propelling your body to stumble backwards in panic. It slowly crawled its way to you with its tail growing and stretching out like an organ, till it wraps around your neck in swift motion.
"G-get away! Get away from me!" Its death grip around your neck had you choking, suffocating, gasping for breath.
"Perhaps your lover?"
As the cat forms another new personaâyour ex-boyfriend. The rims of your eyes gathered tears. You writhe in pain. legs kicking in frantic motions as those tail are now but long pair of hands suffocating you to death.
"Or your mother?"
The grip loosens, a hand caresses down your templeâwiping off the trailing sweat with such an affectionate manner. Rendering you completely paralyzed by the hands of your 'mother'.
"Or.. my dear pathetic self?"
A deafening slap echoes in the empty air. You clutched your face tight, puzzled and unstable. A mirror. The reflection of you standing before your eyes, yet with her lips twisted in a sneer. A downright replica of you. Every edge of its visage looks exactly like you.
Yet she acts nothing like you.
An orchestration of yourself plays out; spewing all your thoughts, the one you keep yourself. Uttering about how she hates herself for being so stupid. For confessing in the first place. For being such a useless person. Every single thing you kept inside you, she utters with no regards to anything.
"S-stop! Stop doing this to me!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, wailing in agony, covering your ears with your hands to block out the hysterical savageness.
Vulnerable; it was as if your skin were being ripped out, exposing your flesh and blood, everything inside you into a freak show. To see it play out like a drama in front of your eyes humiliated you.
A few beats of silence echoes.
You lifted your wavering eyelashes to see yourself looking down at you with the most menacing smirk.
"This is only a piece of what I have yet to know about you." She tilts her head playfully, approaching you in slow steps. "Remember, the longer you take... The more I get to know you, understand you, act like you, and finally be you. Now do you understand?"
Biting your lip, you force yourself to nodâ praying for this nightmare to end once and for all. Your doppelganger broke into a laughter, before her eyes swell into what you can very well decipher as pity.
"Oh, don't look at me that way." She coos, lowering herself down to your fetal position. "It makes me sad, I am neither your enemy or friend. I'm just a little guide, here and there. You wish for a reality where you desire to be craved, and I gave you just that."
She knelt down, extending her palms to you. Your glossy eyes trembled, hesitating. To your surprise, she pulled you into her embrace. Caressing your hair with her palms suffocatingly tender.
"Oh dear me, I just have to take that boy's heart, make him fall for me, make him die for me.."
You barely stifled a yelp of pain when she yanked you away in great force, a gasp spills out of your lips when the same heavy rose pink tint flooded your vision.
"You have to make this man kill for you."
His feline eyes gazing into yours, deep and closeâspeaking right in front of your face, holding and sinking his fingers on both your arms.
The visage of Jungwon.
He leans in forward, intertwining your both of your wrists in his grip before pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek.
Your cheeks flushed involuntarily as his lips came into contact with your neck, colliding behind your earlobe occasionallyâsending tingles of goosebumps across your body.
"Make him hold you close, kiss you, and vow his life to you."
This explicit touches under his visage riled up your hormones, twisting an unfamiliar knot below your belly, alarming you. With your trembling arms, you tried pushed him away with your legs yet his grip tightens on your wrists causing you to hiss in painâa single teardrop escaping the rim of your eye, mirroring your desire to escape.
Pair of strong arms manhandling you, forcing you into a position. Your ears are deafened by this pounding heart behind your chest, as he wipes off the tear from your cheek with his thumb.
"You know, I recall the days where my previous darlings, all of had given me the best and worthy performances, yet a few stood out the most."
His pretty eyes floated off the distance, as if reminiscing the old days.
"There was this one who didn't care at all of the NPCs in this game. He goes on a kill streak, obsessed with achieving the genocide ending. He amuses me yet was so hastyâhe forgot that there was a witness escaping his hands."
A spine-chilling giggle floats out of his lips as he continued. "And another one no longer has the will to live her life whatsoever, leaving herself to rot till the very end."
"Ah! I remember," He beams up, "There was this one boy who was also just like you, he broke down into shambles after knowing everything. He swore he would never hurt anyone, but he soon lose control as he slowly reverts to his younger self, by then he's nothing like he was as an adult. He was so terrified of himself that he threw himself off the school roof."
Humming a certain tune, he gripped your shouldersâlifting your jaw up with her thumb, forcing you to look into her eyes.
"That's why you have to work for it, my darling. You don't have much time, after all. Make him yours, then all of himâhe shall dedicate to you."
And then your vision flashes. Dropping on your elbows when the grip holding your wrists up vanishes. With no one in this room but you. Till you lifted your head to see the same pop-upâglowing and floating with ease.
⤠.. SONARE, YOU MAY CALL ME THAT.
Sonare?
Electrocution sparks in your veins, propelling you to wince at your hand. Your back curled involuntarily, clasping your chest almost immediately as you felt something inside. Crawling and devouring.
Its starting.
It's only about time where you'll witness the manifestation of your deepest fears.
⤠.. ISN'T THIS WHAT LIFE IS? IN PURSUIT OF SOMETHING, THAT IS HOW HUMANS LIVE. OR ELSE, HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO MOVE?
Mental regression, your soul rotting, your family. Everything else is at stake.
Clenching your fists tight on the floor, you lifted your head up forcing a short laughter. Tears had dried, only to be replaced with the sticky sensation latching on your cheeks.
"I can ask for your help.. right?"
⤠.. YOU MAY CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE IN DIRE NEED OF HELP, BUT THAT DOESN'T GUARANTEE THAT I'LL ALWAYS COME TO YOUR AID. ⤠.. IT'S NO FUN WHEN PLAYERS KEEPS GETTING HINTS.. ⤠.. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW.
Death.
A loop that could never be broken. You felt as if your life are slipping away from the tips of your fingers every passing second.
Sniffing in as you wiped off your tears with your collar, you headed to the cafeteria with a heavy heart, you went on with the tray like everyone else. You lost track of time, not having any knowledge of what had happened right after you the entire sequences of events.
You're drained.
Chewing on the meat, you sat alone just as you expected. Everyone else had their own circles, and the canteen are spilling with enmeshed voices in various rhythms. You'd find it kind of comfortable to just listen to back then, even when you'd have no one to talk with, just listening still gives you a little comfort. A fantasy world on your own.
But now all of their conversations is made up of a set of codes, repeating accordingly with their task of the day.
Take a breathe, you tell yourself.
You have a long way to go.
Go back to square one. School rivals. Just how many are there? Ten. There are a total of ten rivals. You had to eliminate all of them to survive.
Before you could even reach him, you'd be dead by all these delinquents, crazy fangirls, and students digging their eyes on you. Acting on your missions possessed great risks.
Just making one single error can cost your life; getting caught by one of the students while acting on your missions means getting expelled. Student councils, teachers, and the detectives themselves. It's such a terribly long path with thorny traps and blood spilled.
Refusing to do your missions. Death.
Getting caught. Death.
Expelled. Death.
Failing to win his heart and turning him a yandere for you. He'll be the one to lead you to your graveyard.
It's either theirs, or yours. They will kill you, he will kill you, unless you kill them first.
An inevitable bloodshed..
A gasp spills out of your throat, with your line of vision dripping in avalanche of blood. No. It isn't blood. Cold red juice drips down your face, washing over your skin with it's freezing temperature making your neck shiver at the contact.
Yet the words that followed after were even more colder, laced with contempt.
"Look at our pathetic one-sided love baby girl having her meal all alone,"
The delinquents. All of them gathered in front of you. Your eyes widened in radical inches. It's impossible. They would've never known! Unless someone has been sneaking on you, telling on you with everyone else. But as far as you've remembered, you've avoided getting under someone's skin.
Was it the occult club? The science club? Or perhaps the gardening club?
But this is really fucked up. The fact that your reputation is at its lowest right now meant everyone can ridicule you, make fun of you, toss you around like a play toy.
Series of sinister giggles spilled out one after another, an orchestration of parody playing out before you. You shudder in great humiliation yet you remain stillâyou couldn't afford to make anymore mistakes that could lead to you possibly being expelled. This is no longer the silly game you spent on trying to beat, this is now your real world with you are living as it's player.
"It was her fault, anyways. How could she ever think she could gain Jungwon's affection with the way she looks?"
"Right! She's making herself out here as a fool!"
"Pretty, you should've rehearse your love confession a bit. No wonder, Jungwon doesn't find you at the very least interesting. It's so bland, having no flavor! And again, can't you just be grateful for his friendship?"
"Where's your self-respect?"
The vein on your necks protrudes a visible line, hands tensing as you gripped tightly on the fork. Fire pit surging up inside your lungs as you struggle to breathe, desiring to scream at their face.
Don't lose your shit. They're just but an NPCs. They're not who they are anymore. A trap is all that it is.
You've withstand this so many times before, what differences would it make now? So why, are you so fucking pissed off?
Hands trembling as you continued chewing the bread in your mouth, and taking another mouthful bite, filling your cheeks and chewing each piece excruciatingly.
Swallowing it all down your throat with agony, as you recalled Sonare's words.
⤠.. AH, MY DARLING. I JUST WONDER, THOUGH. ⤠.. HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP THIS NAIVETY OF YOURS? ⤠.. HOW LONG CAN YOU LAST.. BEFORE YOU ACHE TO SHED, TO THIRST FOR BLOOD?
You ran off.
Not before hearing the multitude of mockeries and degradation behind you.
It happens way in a blink of an eye. You didn't know what to do, what to act, what to sayâin fear of a single mistake that would cause a heavy damage on your reputation, a massive drop that would push you a little closer to death.
With wobbling legs, you fell on your knees. Palms planted firmly on the asphalt. What was that.. clawing on your soul? This growing desire to snap their necks, images of decapitated heads and limbs flashing through your head.
What you've experienced was beyond you, as if someone had their hands wrapped around your wrist, hushing into your ear to shut their mouth once and for all. You were almost on the verge of slamming that blade in their heads.
Exhaling and inhaling a huge air, it does nothing but deepens the pain in your chest, you feel like you could explode at any moment from now.
"Hey, everything's okay there?"
A hand stretches suddenly before you catching you by surprise, you look up with fleeting curiosityâthe hazy image of a girl.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Your shoulders droop down as your vision clears, with the back of her hand stroking down your temples, dark silk-like hair framing her face which only accentuates her doe eyesâKim Minji.
"You're sweating," Pure concern etched on her features, Minji turned behind herâtalking with someone. "She's so pale.. Guys, I think we have to get her to the infirmary room."
Giving a clearer view, your eyes fell on two boys; appearing as a slick black-haired boy, the tag name on his uniform written Jake Sim.
But a particular someone capture your heavy lidsâstanding next to him; the bane of your existence. Those eyes you had to make yoursâto harbor affections, obsessions, and undying fervor; Yang Jungwon.
But how? In his eyes, you're nothing but a girl who had confessed to him, yet rejected. Why the fuck do you have to relive the same humiliation twice?
"Oh, isn't she?â" Jake halted his steps, seemingly surprised after kneeling to take a better look at you. His head turning behind him, locking eyes with Jungwon, where the boy in return has a disinterested look but cleared his throat, approaching closer.
"We have to hurry, she doesn't look too well." Jungwon says, patting Jake's back. "You go ahead, and carry her."
"Oh," Jake complied, turning his attention back to you with the same concern as Minji's in his eyesâwalking to your side as he loops his arm around your back, placing other hand under your legâlifting you up with ease.
With Jungwon following behind, hands in his pockets. Minji says with concern lace in her voice, stroking your cheek. "Hurry, Jake."
The boy in question huffs, where the heavy weight in your head pushes your lids down, dropping your head on his shoulder. The last thing you see was pitch black darkness on the other side of the tunnel, multiple giant hands stretching out to pull you inside it.
Forcing you out of your will, dragging you across the puddled asphalt. You cried out for help, your pleas echoing relentlessly. On the end of the tunnel, you could see hope illustrated in the brightest color of white.
You dragged yourself, crawling on your knees until you reached the end.
The landscape of white snows greeted your eyes. It was cold, freezing your bare skin and neck. You let your face be washed over by the breeze, closing your eyes to heighten its sensation. You're in this place again. This fucked up place.
Two silhouettes fading in the distance, stepping into a cabin caught your attention. Freezing in hell, you'd think the imagery of that underworld would be like how it was depicted in books and so. However here, you feel wholly empty, gnawing at that organ behind your ribcage.
You let your eyes remain on the cabin, recalling what your mother says, that girls shouldn't confess first yet you rejected the very idea; that regardless of gender, everyone should be able to confess their love. You didn't heed her advices, fulfilling your own set of principles, and thus you are left with more questions than answers if the boy ever love you even.
Mother was right, not everyone would reciprocate that love with sincerity and genuineness but instead manipulate it into their own benefit.
You're left behind, asking why? You felt her palms rubbed the back of your head, whispering another waves of words into your ears.
"You should never perceive yourself as a victim."
Don't complain. Once you lament your entire life only on that question, that's where hell breaks loose. Because a victim will only see themselves as one, and no one else.
A frog that frustrates over who threw the stone, lamenting over the question;
.. Why me?
But in your case, you'd like to turn this sentence into,
.. Why not me?
Why didn't he choose me in the end? Why did he choose other over me? Those questions lingered in your head.
All your life, you controlled yourself to a degree even when someone stomped on you. You bear it all, withstand it.
But it wasn't because you were kind. You don't see yourself as one.
Mother never says that, she never tells you to be evil either. Too much on either side will after all, spell your end. Your co-workers might have perceive you in the role of a victim, expressing their concerns and all that. But you don't see why, you don't see yourself as pathetic like everyone does. Even when they say you're pitiful. You don't.
You do not see yourself as pathetic, you were doing it because you just had to. You'd had to be part of this society, to survive.
Why should you live according to others' point view of life? How you view it is up to you. Mother was always right.
She was always right, that you've wanted to give her a call and cry it all out on her shoulder. But you knew that you won't be able to do so, as you've failed her not once but twice. Yet you can't help but mumble to yourself, crying out a helpless whisper.
"Mom, I'm dying."
Your eyes shot wide open.
Four white walls.
Your pupils darted wildly around you before letting out a dejected sigh after recalling what happened before you passed out. With heavy lids, you looked over to your side where you notice Minji sleeping on the edge of the bed.
You recalled the words of your boss upon seeing her.
Back then, even though, you ache to shove something into that bastard's mouth, and perhaps suffocate him to death, you persistedâdigging your nails on the back of your hand, leaving a crescent marks on it that lasted for awhile. Because he was right, you'd be a hassle to look at.
Minji was the complete opposite. A visage that exudes a classic beauty, one that enthralls everyone close to her. You haven't know much about her yet, but you could get why Jungwon likes her back.
You held the need to scoff, it's just like how it was back then.
In this world, we are all, after allâeasily replaceable.
Everyone was nowhere but her, however you could see the nurse in the other room adjacent to this one. Yet not a trace of Jake including Jungwon himself are at sight. Almost close, yet he slips away from your fingers once more. Upon realizing the cold damp cloth on your forehead, you're left with the question of why she had to go this far.
It's like a game of fate, though.
You didn't expect it would be this easy to get close to her. Almost tempting that your thoughts are almost morphing into ones you despise. With your eyes catching the sight of the syringe on the table across from you, you're compelled to take it and dig it inside her neck. It brought back a wave of nostalgia, a very grim one into your eyes.
You shook your head, praying for these thoughts to go away.
The girl shifted in his movements, raising her eyelids open which met yours much to your surprise. Noticing you're awake, her eyes lit upâpushing herself upright swiftly but now with concern swimming in her pupils as she asks.
"You're awake! Are you feeling okay now?"
Now that she was closer unlike the first time in the courtyard, her voice feels more clearer, to your surpriseâit was kind of deep and husky. Like the ebbs and flows of the waves washing over the shoreâit was pleasant to the ears.
Perhaps, a distinctive voice that you would probably remember for some time. Was she a singer in her real life? A small sentiment grow within your heart at the fact that she's very much gone already, and that whatever question you may have about what she's like, or regarding to her real life should be discarded as it won't do you any favor.
Vapid shells that once sang the hymns of the oceans. Now nothing but just a relentless roaring of the abyss. You wondered if they ever call for help when the life vanishes out of their eyes?
Licking your dry lips, you tried to push yourself up. Minji placed her palms on your back, assisting you as you sat up. "Slow down."
"You're?" Throat hoarse, you voiced out that questionâfeigning ignorance. You don't know what to do yet, but you can't let this chance go to waste.
"Minji," Her lips pursed up in a tender smile, "Kim Minji."
"Thanks, Minji." Placing your hand on hers, "For helping me just now."
"You don't need to, plus I wasn't the only one." Minji gestures her thumb behind her, keeping the sweet smile on her lips. "The other guys helped too, but they left awhile ago since your shirt was quite drenched."
"Oh," It was only now that you've realize your shirt was taken off, leaving you in your singlet where the former can be seen hanging on the clothing rack. "Thanks again, sorry for troubling you so much."
Shaking her head profusely, Minji replies with a small pout. "Don't say that, we are suppose to help each other when we're in need, no?"
'Help each other'. It might've done some wonders to your heart if not for the fact that this is not reality. That sentence doesn't sit too well with you in this very game. It feels off, somehow. Still, you nodded your head showing appreciation for her help.
There's a trace of hesitation swimming in her eyes, "You don't look like you were sweating that much though, did something happen?"
The sequences back in the canteen flashes in your mind, reminding you of how you were so close to death. Looking down at your legs covered by the sheets, you mustered the best small smile you can.
"I suppose I have annoyed someone."
"Did you beat up their ass?" Her question caught you off guard, but even more so with her eyes filled with anticipation as she leans closer to you. You were stammering, unsure of what to say until she notices her close proximityâletting out a nervous chuckle as she apologize meekly. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I'm used to it."
With a trace of what you can recognize as sympathy, swirls in her eyes. She squeezes your hand, lending you warmth.
"You've been sleeping for two hours now."
"I d-did?" Your eyes widened in shock, realizing that you must've skipped the second period which would lower your reputation meter once again. Grimacing as you cupped your forehead, "Please don't tell me you've skipped your class, too?'
"To be honest, yeah.." Minji pursed up a shy smile, "I'm just worried, you really seem like you're not in a good condition.."
You raise a brow at what she could possibly be implying at, until she finished her sentence.
"You kept saying.. that you're definitely dying." She rested her palms on yours, "Its really concerning so I can't help it but stay here with you. Whatever you're thinking about, you're not alone, okay?"
Ah. Was she thinking that you're trying to commit suicide?
In your peripherals, you could see the nurse approaching with a bottle of pills and a glass of water in her hands. "Migraines,"
As she lends you the glass and the pill, it left you downright baffled. Almost scoffing audibly at the very idea of getting fake pills. What this would do to you even?
"Take it easy, by the way. You've got to look after your health, otherwise it would only worsen and you might have to take a leave for a day or two."
No.
There was no way you could skip schoolâespecially more than two days. Especially not after knowing all of the things that could and would happen once you're away. Not wasting any time, you quickly gulped down the pill down your throatâeven when you know that it won't help that muchâfrom this pernicious effects of your pending death.
A silhouette catches your peripherals, lips falling apart when he appears again. Yet as your heart involuntarily calls out for him, the name that floats out of his tongue is her name.
"Minji,"
"Wonnie," That nickname catches you by surprise, seeing the obvious effect on Jungwon's visageâdusting his cheeks with pink. "You're back!"
A reaction that sends a pang into your heart. It only amplified by the way his fingers tucked her hairlocks behind her earârunning his fingers down along her hair with such tenderness. The way his eyes are locked into Minji'sâlistening to her attentively as she talksâlike every word that she utters matters more to him more than anything.
Looking away, you reminded yourself that you aren't in love with him. It's this game's mechanics convincing you that you are. So get yourself back in your senses.
"I see," As he lifted his eyes away from Minji to you, "Are you okay now?" His face turns to blank with dull eyes, despite his question carrying a sense of concern, you could sense itâthis colossal wall he raises up around you, as if to shield you away from him.
A sheer gap of how he treats you and Minji is evident. Slammed at your face, even. Its only the first day yet somehow it looks like he's too far in deep.
Was Sonare lying to you again?
Whatever it may be. You're screwed. It won't be long till those eyes of his morph into sinister ones, into a fatal poison that would cost your life.
Forcing the best genuine smile you could muster, casting it on Minji.
"Thanks to Minji, yes."
"Good to hear."
He replies nonchalantly before turning his attention back to his girlfriend, his sugary demeanor surfacing back up. "You haven't eaten yet, so I've grabbed you something to eat from the cafeteria."
"You got me my favorite!" Minji beams up, jaw dropping slightly at the plastic wrapped sandwich and an orange juice box. "Thank you Wonnie."
She grabbed his hand, expressing appreciation to him with her eyes but then confusion surfaces from her visage. With her brows knitted together, she tilted her head a bit further to look behind Jungwon. "Is that all?"
"Yeah?"
"But," She turns to look at you, and then at Jungwon. "You didn't got her one?"
"Oh, sorry. I forgot." Jungwon rub his nap, as he says nonchalantly. "To be fair, that was the last one."
Lie. That's a lie.
You knew that wasn't the truth.
Despite knowing from his profile that Jungwon isn't a liar, nor does he utter white lies for the sake of others. You've remembered another thing once you scrolled down to the section of how he's like once he turns into a yandere; that once he starts falling for the player, he will begin to lie even if its the thing he had swore to never do in the first place.
You could see it. He just doesn't see the reason why he should get another one because you are not that even important to him, so why should he care about your wellbeing? As difficult as it was to swallow it down your throat, this is only the beginning. He'd treat you far more worse with each of his heart slowly dedicating itself to this girl in front of you.
"We'll share then," Minji says, as she breaks the sandwich in halfâsurprising you and Jungwon. "Here!"
Shaking your head, "H-hey, you don't have to, I'm not that hungry."
"You got to eat," She insisted, pushing the half of the bun on your hand. "You've skipped over lunch too, right?"
"No, I did! I've eaten."
That came out louder than you expected it to as the girl jolted in response but emitted a slight laughter shortly after. She looks back and forth at the foods on her hands, before lifting the other hand with the orange juice box on it.
"Then.. Maybe a drink would do?" Minji asks you with a convincing smile before tilting her head up to Jungwon, seemingly asking for permission. "I'm not that thirsty, anyways."
Jungwon just patted her hair, nodding in silence.
Acknowledging that she probably won't give up, you accepted itâpunching the straw in the box, taking a sip from it as you observed the two getting in lost in their own world once more, like how Minji shyly commented how the sandwich tastes a lot more better when Jungwon bought itâthe need to grimace amplifies, as your head are shrouded with numerous how's.
Of how to rip them apart from each other.
The match-making method would no longer work in this situation. There was no way you will be able to rip them both off each other without resorting to the very method you've been trying to avoid.
She may no longer have her consciousness intact anymore, but even the image of yourself stabbing her to death repulsed you.
⤠.. TO WIN OVER HIS HEART, TO MAKE HIM YOURSâYOU MUST LOSE YOURSELF, FIGURATIVELY OF COURSE! ⤠.. UNLESS IF YOU FAIL IN DOING SO, YOU'LL PERISH IN WAYS YOU'D NEVER IMAGINE.
You pushed away Sonare's words out of your head with a grimace.
You didn't want to keep imagining it you really don't. However, just how long are you going to keep this up? The fact that you've still yet to decide of what is the best way to get rid of her?
You still have a chance, as Jungwon hasn't turn into a yandere yet.. But it won't be long till he falls deeper for his now-girlfriend, Minji.
"Hold on, Heeseung's calling." Jungwon showed the flip phone's screen to Minji before going outside, which she nodded in return.
You didn't miss how he stroke his fingers on Minji's hair before leaving, a gesture that propels a shy smile in the girl's lips.
It hasn't been a day of them being lovers yet, but why the fuck is he so lovestruck? It only does nothing but distress you further. Plus, its weird.. of how Minji seems to have her guard down before you as if she doesn't know anything about it.
Her amiable acts towards you led you to believe that she was unaware of the events between you and Jungwon. He might've kept it from her, or just didn't see it important enough to tell her. All the way more convincing you that you are nothing to him.
You had to make something, do something in some way.
"Which club are you from, by the way?" You asked, partly of genuine curiosity, and partly because you have to dig in more details of her.
"Oh, I'm haven't join one yet.. But I got my eye on one or two clubs."
"What are they, then?"
"Drama, or the light music club." She replied, her fingers fiddling the hem of her sleeves. "But I'm leaning towards the latter.. because singing has always been my favorite thing to do."
This won't be easy, you thought to yourself.
"That's cool!" Feigning support, "You really do look like one, you know, like a singer."
You captured how her eyes lit up with stars. "You really think so?"
Nodding with no trace of hesitation, she lets out a small chuckle, as if she was suspense with disbelief.
"That's- I just didn't think that anyone would notice," Minji says with her eyes gazing out the window, but as you trace at where she was looking at, her eyes seems to look further than you can reach. "I mean, no has ever said that in this place."
"No one has ever said so?"
"Yeah, you're the first one." She says with a smile you somehow feel genuine, "You got a really good eye, I have to say."
Minji asks back with her attention undivided, leaning forwardâseemingly curious as well. "What about you? Are you planning to join one of the clubs here as well?"
To be fair, you haven't join any clubs in this particular server you were playing in. You had some plans to get in the art club or martial club sometime ago, but had long forgotten about it. But now, it seems like the art club is your best bet, for now, that is.
"I was thinking, Arâ" Your words were punctuated by the distant chatters outside this room. Jungwon's voice blending with another, which you can't seem to decipher. But it grew clearer as they approached closer.
Jungwon appeared, with a particular someone following behind him.
"Jesus, I thought someone got hurt when you said you were by the infirmary room." The boy rolled his eyes as he shuts his flip phone. "Hey Minji, and.."
His eyes fell on you.
"Who's this?"
Purple hair framing his face, bouncing on his eyelashesâalmost obscuring his doe eyes. The eldest among the yanderes, and the leader of the gaming clubâLee Heeseung. If there was one thing most memorable about him in his profile, is that he has a big obsession with collecting keyboards. Not often spotted around his members as he spent afterhours in the gaming club, playing games all day.
You're surprised that he doesn't look at all malnourished, or close to the stereotypical image of a gamer; disheveled hair, dark eyebags, and a gloomy atmosphere but rather a neat, and well-combed hair, paired with a healthy skin tone. Not what you would expect from someone who is cramped all day in a dimly-lit room.
You'd often wonder how the heck the players who chose him would be able to get him out of his inner world of games and keyboards.
Before Minji could answer, Jungwon did.
"Minji was the one who found her almost passed out behind the academy, so we brought her here."
With a complete air of nonchalance, that is. Since awhile ago, you notice how Jungwon has never laid his eyes on you for more than three seconds, his eyes was everywhere but you.
"So?"
"So what?" Heeseung asked with evident confusion.
"I thought you wanted to say something on the way here?"
"Why am I here again? Ah yes, the club." Heeseung mumbling to himself, before letting out a rather loud 'tsk'.
"What's up with the club?"
"You know what I'm talking about," Heeseung ruffled his hair, pushing his tongue in his cheek. "No, seriously, not one but two of the club members quitted. Like why the fuck didn't they inform me way back then? Such a bummer."
"What are you suppose to do even there?" Minji suddenly asks.
Heeseung turns to look at her, "Gaming?"
"Just gaming?"
"Yeah, what else are you suppose to do then?"
"I seriously don't get why the Gaming Club was approved in the first place." Minji shrugs, in which you shared the same thought as well. She has a point, though.
Back in the real world, you never found the gaming club useful at all. Its benefits where you could do missions through playing games to raise your stats kind of wasted your time.
"Well, you'd probably don't get it." Heeseung rolled his eyes, seemingly finding it useless to banter with her before turning to the boy in front of him. "Anyways, Jake has been considering to quit the drama club. What say you, Jungwon?"
"Me?" Jungwon points at himself, in which the former nodded in response. "Who says I'm leaving my club?"
"Dude, just quit the martial arts club." Heeseung says, with an amused expression trying to stifle a chuckle. "It's not like we have any serial killers around here with their ass for you to kick?"
Somehow, you found yourself stiffening at Heeseung's words.
"I'm in dire need for club members now, Yang."
"Ask others, then?" Jungwon said, "You know how many students wants to join your club, especially the girls."
"No, not the girls, please." Grimacing, Heeseung shook his head. "I don't have anything against girls but the thing is they don't have the same level of passion for gaming," Pointing his index finger on the ground as he continues speaking, "Not in this academy, okay?"
"The boys?"
"Sunghoon and Jay isn't budging the fuck from their recipes, while Sunoo had just joined the occult club a month ago, and Ni-ki?" Heeseung shook his head, facepalming himself. "That kid has no sense of either punctuality or responsibility."
He pauses his words in-between, thoughâas if a light bulb lighted up in his head.
"Wait, if I could get Jake. Perhaps, Ni-ki would follow along."
"Go for it, then."
A sigh spills out of Heeseung's lips. "The calculation I made for this is undoubtedly fairly low, unfortunately. So please,"
Jungwon only shrugs in return, seemingly putting a thought about it.
"You're my only hope now aside from Jake, or else the faculty room's gonna shut my club down, dude." Desperation evident in Heeseung's voice as he kneels down much to you all's surprise. With Jungwon having to force him to stand up but the latter only pressed on, insisting with no hint of giving up at all.
"Oh god, Heeseung." Minji cups her forehead at the sight playing out in front of her before asking you with her lips pursed up in a smile "Which club was it again, the one you wanted to join?"
"Art club."
Hearing your answer, Minji turns to look at the boy kneeling on the floor. "Guess there's no hope for you then."
Heeseung groaned, mumbling to himself how he wasted his energy going all the way down here.
"By the way, Minji. Aren't you suppose to look for the light club's members now?" Jungwon asks, a question directed to Minji.
"Oh my god!" The girl in question abruptly stands, the chair creaking at the same time. "You're right! I totally forgot about it!"
"I'll accompany you there," Jungwon suggested, stretching his hands out to her. You avoid the image of their hands intertwining, looking the other way.
"(Name), you'll be fine here, right?" Minji asks with enthusiasm, in which you nodded in return, assuring her that its okay. "I'll be back later!"
And so you observed as the two left, with Heeseung following behind them but with a pair of eyes you could see fleeting in the distance.
Footsteps and chatters fading in the distance. You watched the faint marmalade sky, taking a deep sigh as you closed your eyes, rummaging your head of what to do.
You opened your eyes to see that he hasn't left yet.
"Why are you stillâ"
"Ah, so you're (Name)?" Heeseung pulls away after he read your tag name, standing still all while humming a certain tune, quite familiar to your ears but you can't pinpoint where you did it hear from. "You play games?"
"No." You replied swiftly.
Judging by his first question, it was better if you shut it down fast as you don't have any intention in joining the gaming club, since it doesn't have any advantages or benefits like other clubs does. To summarize it, its a completely useless club.
Tilting his head, you feel the curiosity enveloped in his eyes. "What do you mean by 'no'?"
You raise one brow, confused as to what he was implying at.
"Your eyes," Chuckling, he gestures his fingers over his eyes, "They look like they hurt a lot, that means you must have been playing a whole lot of games."
"If you're planning to ask me to join your club, then sorry, I lose all the time."
"Pity, why don't you join my club then?" He chimes in, insisting with chins buried on his palms. "Perhaps under my tutelage, you'll get really, really good at gaming."
"I don't really care in improving my gaming." You rebutted almost nonchalantly, leaning your head on the pillow as you shut your eyes tight.
"Ugh, so close." Heeseung whines, however seemingly insistent at the topic. "Then why do you play games in the first place?"
"What else do you think?" You looked into his eyes, trying to show him that you're bored.
A few beats of silence.
"I don't think so," Heeseung says, "You don't like someone who would play for pastime."
"What makes you think so?"
"Like I said, your eyes." Heeseung says, "It hurts right?"
You played games for what really?
A game where you can freely act on your desires without inflicting real pain on real people, a fantasy world where you shouldn't cross the line.
A line you wanted someone else to cross for you instead.
You wanted someone to be selfish for you for once. Someone who won't have their love wavers with one look on others. Someone who wouldn't say.. that it wasn't true love.
It just so happens that you found this game. You ended up finding solace in these so-called yanderes where they will only have their eyes on you, where their top priority is the best interest of your heart, an affection that exceeds all boundaries and limits, vowing loyalty that never fleets till the end of their life.
It's hilarious how this beings are the twisted form of that sentence your mother utters; instead of manipulating you and using you like a play toy, it was instead used in a way to make you theirs. You ache for that kind of love. It may be all toxic, yet your body aches to be embraced. You had no hope for these obsession to exist in the real world.
Hence why you could only let out your frustrations and lamentation in this game. It's all about you, only you. That's what you love about it. A virtual world where you can unleash your pain, act on your wildest desires, and appease your hurting soul.
Thoughts come and go. But some just persists, latching in the depths of your soul like a pest, therefore your brain does what its best atâto protect you; keep it, hide it like your dirty laundry, and kicking it off in the deepest and darkest corner.
There was no need to hurt someone else just because you had been hurt yourself. You vowed that to yourself.
However you can't deny that this mind of yours, this soul of yours will never be the same. It's tainted. Smudged. Scarred. You're beyond saving, no matter how you try. You can hide it all you want, yet its there, creeping back up when you're presented with that same image of a dirty laundry.
The very same dirty laundry this game is preying on, urging you to nurture it, to let go of your self. To let yourself snap. To make you go back on your own words. A freak show in its eyes.
Oh, how the tables had turned.
"Not all people play games to get better or become pro at it like you do."
Heeseung hums in response, leaning against the edge of the window. "What type of games do you like?"
"Why do you care?"
"Hey," He scoffed, "So is it classified as weird to ask harmless questions now?"
You rolled your eyes, "It's a game where you have to survive."
"Bingo, I'm a pro at surviving, you see." Heeseung throws you a wink, "I can give you tips on how to win if you let me."
"Unfortunately for you," You covered your eyes with your forearm, giving a signal that he should just leave already. "It's a fucked up game, and I don't like playing games anymore anyways."
"I know that words," The boy snickers, approaching you with growing interest laced in his voice. "Tell me, what is this game that's making you act up like this?"
"It's none of your business."
"It is, gaming is my forte."
"Your forte in gaming won't save you from this one."
"What makes you think I can't?" You could feel his silhouette near the edge of the bed, casting a shadow on you. "All the games I've played, I've won."
No, you've lose. Despite being unsure of whether the yanderes themselves are once real people. You couldn't help but be affected by his words. Scoffing at the irony at the words leaving his mouth, you pulled your forearm from your eyesâpushing yourself to sit upright.
Meeting his eyes, you said. "Haven't you wonder that it must be that you've never found a game that will make you lose, yet?"
"That's why I have to play it, we'll know if we never try." He pressed on, keeping the smirk on his lips.
His confidence and all this words is pushing you towards the brink. Groaning, you let yourself fall back on the pillow. Shifting your body where you back faces him. "You'll definitely lose, I'm telling you."
"What? Does it take two players to win?" Tilting his head in amusement, chuckling. "If you're afraid in hindering me, then I don't suck that bad to the point to be held back by an amateur, you know."
"Not even close." Your frown deepens. "You'll only die."
"It doesn't hurt to try."
"It will hurt."
"C'mon, now."
"Don't get too ahead of yourself."
"What's a game for if not to take risks?" Heeseung smirks, "Its not too different from life, you see. There's a reason why they say life is a game." He leans closer, "We only got one chance in life."
You scoffed with your eyes closed, "I didn't know the gaming club's leader can be this persistent outside his computers, but I guess you are staying true to your role as a gamer."
"Well, you won't excel in life if you don't play your role well."
Finally losing your patience, with your eyes now shot wide openâyou pushed yourself upright once more, glaring at him with spite. "Seriously? I thought you said to your friend just now that you don't want any girls to join your club because they don't have that, what was it again?"
Heeseung tilted his head sideways, waiting for you to finish your words.
"Ah, yes, passion." With a clenched jaw, and annoyance plastered on your faceâyou raise your index finger at him, "So why the fuck are you forcing me to join your club?"
"What? Are you offended about what I said?"
"The thing is, I don't care."
"What I said was true, though." Heeseung bends down to your eye level, "No one here has a passion for gaming like I do."
"So whyâ"
"But I see in it you." With your eyes locked together with his, you could the deep curiosity swirling within. A hollow well yet so strange it sucks your breath away, like a pair of hands wrapped on the back of your head. "Like I said, your eyes."
You released a shaky breath when he finally pulls away, breaking the intense prolonged eye contact.
"What say you, pretty?" His voice pulls you out, "Maybe I can help you win."
With trembling hands, you spat out. "Leave."
"Alright, alright, I'll be leaving now." Heeseung's voice fades as he heads off to the exit, but your ears caught on his halted steps. "But my offer still stands. In case you change your mind, you know where to find me."
With silence finally enveloping the room, you're left wondering what had just happened. What was that, even?
The leader of the yanderes offering you to join his club, which doesn't serve you any benefits. But as you've given it more thought, perhaps this is the golden chance to get closer to Jungwon, which is through his friends. What better way is it if not through the leader himself?
But if everything went exactly the way you want it to be, what would you do with Minji? After that seemingly genuine conversation with her, it pains your heart to even imagine anything sort that way.
It leaves you more conflicted as time passes, though, as you can't still seem to decide whether joining the gaming club is better than the art club. As tempted as you are, you cannot join the martial arts club. You are certain that it will only push Jungwon away from you.
Instead, the drama club would give you way more benefits with its costume and masks, and Jake was there too but Heeseung had mentioned that he's considering of leaving so there's that. While the cooking club has both Sunghoon and Jayâthe unfortunate encounter you had with the former earlier had left you somewhat intimidated by him, and remembering Jay's profile doesn't make you feel any better as he had a shady history.
Perhaps the occult club would be a better option, and Sunoo has been an active member for two months. Despite being one of the yanderes, he's a sweet boy with a cheerful demeanorâand that makes it easier to get close to him. But the overall atmosphere of the other occult members makes you grimace, they don't seem very welcoming in your opinion.
Ruffling your hair in a mess, you clenched your jaw as you couldn't find yourself making the right decision.
What's even the right decision? You are scared. You truly are scared. It has been awhile since you've felt this much dread and fear. You've gotten really good at holding yourself back all this time, doing so well not letting your personal emotions getting the best of you.
But now you aren't so sure anymore.
You weren't sure of which are you scared of more too; was it the fact that your entire existence will be wiped out if you fail, or was it because you'll rot, or was it because everything you've tried so hard to forget will flood back once more?
Or maybe it was everything altogether.
Truth to be told, you're afraid of the you that will slowly return. That part of you that sees herself as a victim and no one else. You didn't want to go back to her anymore.
It was so far back, hazy swirls shrouding your head. You suppressed it in a way. You can no longer remember the details. Yet it was there inside your heart. That reeking dirty laundry swirling your heart, recycling it like a washing machine.
A side of you that deeply perturbs your soul.
Deep down, it also terrifies you that this game will come to understand you soon, more than you do.
A frog that frustrates over who threw the stone, lamenting over the question; "Why me?"
You do not wish to go back to the you from back then. Not anymore.
Your lips fell apart when the atmosphere against your bare skin changes, growing thick and tense as if someone had pressed the pause button. The swaying lush trees beyond the window halted, and the nurse on the other side of the room stood still. The chatters outside are replaced with a deafening silence.
A gasp spills out of your throat when the same pink display screen like Sonare appeared, however instead of textsâlist of choices are presented before your eyes.
Whatever you choose to term it with, these set of choices are now the bane of your life. A heavy weight pushing you down as you read each choice, leaving you more distress than ever.
You've got to instill it in your mind that being Jungwon's girlfriend isn't enough, you have to make him die for youâwhere everything he sees, hear, smell, and taste is you.
If you want to live, you had to.
Make him yours, make him say yes to your love confession.
⤠.. CAN YOU CLIMB UP THE RANKS AND TAKE THE SPOT AS THE ONE AND ONLY BELOVED DARLING OF YOUR YANDERE?
Š 2022-2024, pieroulette on [tumblr]. all rights reserved.
đŤ qna can be delivered to my sideblog: @yuanvei !
#đŹ. pieroulette's films#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enha imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen oneshots#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen jungwon#enha jungwon#yandere enhypen#yandere enha
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like today a linkin park song came in my shuffle and i just remembered this time i got into an ugly discussion with some girl on livejournal over who was a better singer: chester or patrick & this girl said at least chester isn't a homo before blocking me đđđ
some people make guys in their minds to be angry. me? i randomly remember a guy from the past to be angry with
#and like first of all? agree but what does that have to do with singing???#and second? u know i like chester but girl you're so wrong. so wrong. you where wrong fifteen years ago and you're still wrong#fyi screaming isn't all there is to singing. that's just how u fuck up your vocal cords. and patrick can do it too#also im pretty sure she said something along the lines of patrick singing like a cocksucker and u know? that's just plain wrong#my guy pstump doesn't suck dick. he eats ass tyvm
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ames you are COOKING (or should i say, planting???lol) SO HARD with the flower language prompts, đđđđđâ¨â¨am really out here sobbing and crying over them like im watering these flowers with my Tears lol
so here i am requesting for these prompts: rosemary, begonia, pink camellia, dark crimson rose, purple hyacinth, blue salvia, zinnia
i picked these based on your initial tag about Maleficia and zinnia flower,,,, I SEE THE VISION so im requesting it now lol but also picked on prompts that reminded of Meleanor and Malleus,,, đi think therapy bills should be forwarded to Draconias instead, istg all they ever do is be in grief and loss /lhđ
if its too many, please feel free to choose whichever prompt you like and take your time in writing !! âşď¸đđšâ¨â¨
Ohhh I did my best here I promise LMAOOO. I tied in some easter eggs with other works i've done (namely Monody, Stasis, and Labours Gained). I hope you enjoy my absolute monstrous dump about Maleficia, whom I will die on a hill for tyvm
EMPTY CHAIRS
Inc: Maleficia, Meleanor, Levan, Lilia, Malleus (whole gang wow) WC: 4.2k :))) Warnings: Just some death, but I swear it ends on a happy note this time. Flowers: Begonia (How ghosts help the living live a little), Pink Camellia (Where I notice your absence the most), Dark Crimson Rose (The grave I visit everyday), Purple Hyacinth (The worst pain of my whole life and how it healed⌠multiple times) , Zinnia (The seats at the table and how they eventually became empty⌠multiple times) Summary: Moments where Maleficia was convinced her family was cursed, and a few times she truly wished this to not be the case.
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
Their family may be cursed.Â
For many decades now Maleficia had toyed with the possibility of such a matter in her mind. It had first passed briefly with the death of her fatherâthe second monarch to take over after the initial uprisingâand the subsequent death of her mother a few weeks later. No one was surprised when she went. Her grief for the loss of her love had been so profound that it had flooded Briar Nation, drowning both cattle and crops in her dismay. Maleficia had postponed her own coronation as the cleanup occurred. It felt ill-boding to be crowned while bodies were floating down the mountain pass.Â
The thought had returned once more when her husband vanished at sea, leaving her with a newborn hatchling on her own. Her love had been a strong headed man with adventure burning in his bloodâit had been what drew her to him to begin with. That, and he was the only ex-sailor she knew who was bold enough to try and hold her for ransom. Wiping the deck with him had captured his heartâand the fact that he had been a dragon settled the Senate to a degree. But the sea is a fickle mistress, and although her love had skill and he had drive, even the most knowledgeable of sailors can never predict its next move.Â
She had not flooded Briar Nation like her mother had, and she had held herself together before her people, although the empty space in her bed and at the dinner table deepened the wound nightly. It was in the quiet moments alone when it was just her and Meleanor that she felt his absence the strongest.Â
In the beginning she loathed him for leaving her. Whenever she cradled their daughter as the hatchling shrieked and protested, blowing flame, and biting for flesh, she loathed him. Whenever she dealt with the Senate or another disaster befalling the Nation, she loathed him.Â
But when Meleanor learned to fly, learned to run, and shifted into her two-legged form for the first time, the hatred began to fade. Because although he had vanished into the mists on a voyage destined to fail, he had left her with the greatest treasure she could ever haveâand for that alone she could hold no ill will.Â
Perhaps this sentimentality is why when Meleanor dragged a thin, sickly-looking bat into the halls of Black Scale, Maleficia heard her out.
âPlease let him stay!â The princess had asked, green eyes wide as she grasped her motherâs skirts. âPlease, mother!â
The other child had shrunk behind Meleanor, but shadows could not hide the burning defiance in the boy's eyesâa gaze of confrontation, and one that nothing truly innocent should hold. This is why she lacked the heart to say no. She quietly hoped that Lilia, as she would name him, would be the one to slay whatever reaper was following themâthat the burning anger she had seen would ignite a fire that would cleanse the family of its suffocating misery.Â
With the presence of Meleanor, Lilia, and eventually Levan, the silent table Maleficia had sat at for so long soon became a place of raucous conversation again. Although she found herself scolding the three children more than once (especially Levan for his non-subtle attempts at discarding food), the lingering warmth she would feel as she gazed at the trio made her confident that this family curse was on the bend.Â
Naturally, it didnât last.Â
The first time she heard of the Silver Owls, Meleanor was 200 years old and more focused on warding off suitors than an unmarked ship. Maleficia had allowed her daughter to indulge by instead consulting with an advisor alone in the dark of her office. The concern lingering in the advisor's words would grow to haunt her.
âPerhaps it is temporary?â She posited, trying her best to remain optimistic on the matter. Plenty of people came and went from Cape Sunrise. A single unmarked ship with a few scraggly sailorâs was not something she felt the need to stress over. The advisor seemed doubtful on the matter.
âBut they have tools. Items designed to dig up our soil,â they had insisted, but Maleficia dismissed the concerns with a wave and a blase response.Â
âLet them try. They will not be able to break the first layer of our land.âÂ
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The first one to leave the table had been Levan. There were many soldiers and nobles who vanished before he did but, selfishly, he was the first one that Maleficia really felt the absence of. Levan had grown up from a non-confrontational child to her son-in-law, a general of the princess and a father to the future heir. His compassion had not faded despite the years of war that now tore the Nation apart. Maleficia knew this by the way she came across him one night, cradling his egg so gently while murmuring against its shell.Â
When he had noticed her, he had not corrected himself; if anything, he held the egg even closer. They had not exchanged too many words that night, but she sat next to him on the bench in the gardens, the silence speaking volume of her support to his decisions.Â
âYou will return.â It was not a questionâit was a demand. Her voice held the authority of a queen who had seen many, many losses in her long life. Levan had remained silent for a moment longer as his lips brushed against the shell of her grandson's egg.Â
âAlways,â was the promise he made, and the last words Maleficia heard from him. When they didnât receive notice for several days after he left, the conclusion was drawn that he was either dead, or the closest one could be to it. Meleanor held herself well in lieu of this information, as had Maleficia.Â
But the empty seat felt an ill omen.Â
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The next one to leave the table had been Meleanor. When she was younger, she used to rest her head on Maleficiaâs lap as her mother had fixed her hair. She would ramble on about her day and what she got up to with the two boys in the nonsensical fashion that many children do. Maleficia had listened with amusement, although her mind had always been half-focused on what she needed to do for her meetings the next day.
The regret of not giving Meleanor her full, undivided attention sunk in deep when she felt her daughterâs magic cut off. The bond in their family was intrinsically woven to allow them to get a sense of whether the other members were still alive. If asked, Maleficia might say itâs something of a dragon trait. Most of the time it served to be a blessing to allow her to know her family is alive and well.Â
When it cut off mid-emergency meeting, the abruptness had been so profound that she nearly collapsed then and there. Her breath had hitched, her words stuttering to a stop as she stared wide-eyed at the Senate members surrounding her. At first, she hoped it was simply a flukeâa disruption in the magicâuntil she didnât feel it return and the horrible, tar-like panic of a mother when her child goes missing welled up in her heart. She was tearing out of the room before any of the Senate members even had a chance to speak, screaming for her guards and her soldiers to tell her what was going on at Wild Rose.Â
Her daughter, who spent her childhood running through the forests and laughing in the face of suitors. Her daughter, whose hair she would braid and then re-braid again when the girl somehow got burs in it. Her daughter, who was set to become a mother herself and experience all the precious moments Maleficia had.Â
Her daughter, whose body wasnât even recovered at the end of it all.Â
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The final one to leave the table was Lilia. In wake of the princesses passing, Malleusâ egg was put in the cradle tower, and Maleficia was designated to spirit him into hatching. She felt the faint connection of their magic from within the thick shell that guarded his body. His warmth, the subtle movements he made; they were all indicators that he was still alive and well despite his tumultuous arrival.
But Maleficia didnât know if he would oblige. Hatchlings often needed the love of both parents to be shepherded forwardâand Maleficia, now over eight hundred years old, already felt the strain of her magic from the conflicts going on in her Nation. There was no doubt that she held love for her grandsonâbut a lingering fear that her love wouldnât be enough burned in her mind. This is what made her turn to Lilia, to send him on his quest around the world to try and find an additional means to bring the young prince forward.
For the first few decades, it worked well. Maleficia held the egg on a nightly basis and poured as much of her love and magic into it as she could. The egg consumed it all in a greedy fashion, demanding more every time she returned to the tower. One would think that Malleus was starving within by the way he pulled, and tore, and ripped at her powers to fuel his own development.Â
Then he ceased feeding. She recalls the first night it happened; everything had been going well, until the connection was suddenly severed, and the green glow within the egg dulled back into a faint tint of color. Maleficia had initially dismissed it as a one-off event. Until it happened again, and again, and again.Â
Thereâs a curious sense of panic that fills someone when they do everything they can to no avail. The panic she felt came in the form of a privatized breakdown in the tower. For many decades now Maleficia had toyed with the possibility of a curse in her mind. Now, she was beginning to consider that it was not her family who was cursed, but rather just herself.Â
First it came for her father, and her mother shortly after. Then, when it grew hungry again, it ate through her husband and that of her daughters. Then it came for Meleanor herself, and now whatever reaper followed them was looming over her shoulder as she held Malleusâ egg and begged him to take something.Â
Pleas fell from the lips of a monarch as she rocked the egg, stroked its shell so softly, whispering to just eat a little more, just take a little more. But the egg had remained as cold and aloof as it had for several nights now. Her desperation mounted in an order to Baul to summon Lilia backâto slay whatever reaper was following them before it pried the last of her bloodline from her hands.Â
Her hopes of his role as the vanquisher of death came in an explosive hatching that she was informed of after it occurred. When she requested for Lilia to be brought to Black Scale to be reinstated in his role in his efforts, the Senate had then informed her that Lilia Vanrouge would never step foot in the capital again.
And so, in a span of mere moments, the final seat was emptiedâand Maleficia found herself alone once more.Â
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Grandchildren are the best reminders of the beauty and innocence of childhood.
When Malleus was first brought to her after he hatched, she didnât want to touch him. The purple hue of his stomach and the way his green gaze darted around, drinking in the new world he emerged to, reminded her so much of Meleanor that she wanted to laugh at the cruel irony. The hurt that smouldered in her heart ignited back into a flame that found her turning a cold shoulder to the hatchling.Â
âGo clean him. He has amniotic fluid all over.â She remembers ordering, voice deceptively calm for the turmoil happening within. The wet nurse that was hired obliged as the hatchling shrieked and protested the frequently changing environment around him. His cries made Maleficia clench her jaw tighter as she stared resolutely at the battle plans drawn before her, her hands gripping the table enough to turn her knuckles white.Â
A few times she went to him in the beginning. The encounters lasted only as long as Maleficia could tolerate seeing how similar he looked to Meleanor before she would depart and leave him in the care of his wet nurse once more. Guilt fought with anger in her heart about the circumstances that she found herself in and her inability to overcome them. She could feel the ghost of her daughter chastising her in the corner for being so cowardly in her approach.Â
The breakthrough arrived when Malleus became ill. Grievesâa fever-like condition that affected fae children in particularâresulted in Maleficia sitting with her grandson one night as the exhausted wet nurse was excused for a long overdue break. She held him on her lap in the dark as his small form fought his fever, whispering how the stars that looked down from above were the eyes of the people who loved him, keeping him safe in this world. Her voice had cracked as she spoke, and it was only when a small whine left him did she realize she was hugging him tight to her body.Â
âI am so sorry,â she had choked out, unsure if the apology was for the hold she had or the neglect she had given so far. âPlease forgive me.â
Malleus had twisted in her arms, small wings fluttering before he settled himself down and began to doze. He had already forgotten what upset him to begin with. She wished it would always be that wayâbut she knew that was nothing but a vague hope.Â
She loathed Meleanor for leaving. Whenever she cradled Malleus as the hatchling threw his tantrums, blowing flame, and biting for flesh as all children seem to do, she loathed her. Whenever she dealt with another part of the war or signed another treaty alone, she loathed her.Â
But when Malleus scrambled onto her lap mid-Senate meeting, chased after courtiers, and flew for the first time (admittedly, into a flock of pigeons), Maleficia loved her. Because although like her father she had vanished in an ill-fated decision, she had left a small reminder that she was never truly gone. Maleficia could comfort Malleus, could see the ghost of his mother in his clever little eyes, and for that alone she could hold no ill will.Â
Meleanorâs death had proved to be far worse than anything elseâbut her gift of the small dragon in her lap felt like the first steps towards recovery again. So, she had kissed between his horns that night and promised to herself that she would do all that she could to give him a future free of the misery that plagued their family thus far.Â
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In the aftermath, she spent time with him whenever she could. Via dinners, via having him sit in on meetings, via walks in the gardensâwhenever she could, she would be there. However, despite her newfound presence changing some things for the better, she remained unable to quell the curiosity that burned in her grandson's mind.Â
She found him in the mausoleum once. He was standing on the toes of his mother with his small hand touching her stone-carved face. Maleficia had not been to the mausoleum since the boy hatched so many years ago. The raw memories still stirred in her heart and seeing him look up at his mother with such a gaze of innocent adoration did nothing but unsettle her more.Â
When he noticed her, his face had lit up into a smile as he hopped back down and pointed up to one of the other statues. âThis is grandfather?âÂ
Maleficiaâs gaze slid to where he was pointing. A strong jaw, a dangerous glint in stone-etched eyes, and a faint smirk painted the picture of the man she had once loved and held so dearly many years ago. Maleficia nodded. Malleus, taking this as encouragement, then ran back to the other statue he had been touching with his small hands.Â
âAnd this is mother?âÂ
Again, Maleficia nodded. The painful similarities between Malleus and his mother were more apparent when they were side to side. If Maleficia were to squint, she could mistake Malleus as a younger Meleanor: the same horns, same hair length, even the same streak of mischief that got both into so much trouble.Â
Malleus had hummed thoughtfully before stepping down again. âDo you miss them?âÂ
A deceptively innocent question. Of course she missed them. All she had left of her family was one grandson and three empty coffins: a husband at sea, a daughter in the hands of humans, and a son-in-law somewhere in the moors. âI do,â she offered back. âI miss them greatly.âÂ
Malleus had asked her why, then. Children like him were filled with innocence and wonder about the world. He had no knowledge of the bodies that were lost, or the tragedies that had predicated his birth. Her reply did nothing but fuel an unease in the boy, for moments after she offered it, he ran back to her and threw his small arms around her waist.
When he hugged her, he clung with a ferocity that was baffling for his size. Her hands rested on his head and stroked his hair soothingly as she had done with Meleanor many times before she guided him away from the tombs and the memory of family he never met.
She should visit them more often now.Â
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She rediscovers that thereâs a privilege in watching someone grow. Liliaâs gradual return into their lives helps ease the stress of raising a child again in her older age, which is partially why she turns a blind eye every time Malleus slips out of the palace to visit the man. Sheâs honoured to observe in a more passive manner the way her grandson changes and grows as a person. She watches him go from spiteful towards humans to more amiable with the arrival of Liliaâs adopted son. As he grows before her eyes, she begins to see less of Meleanor and Levan in his features and more of just Malleusâthe quiet, albeit arrogant, boy that was hers.Â
Time goes by faster as she ages alongside him. One moment heâs clinging to her skirts, and the next heâs off to NRC, and then finally, 178 years have passed like the blink of an eye. She used to bemoan how slow time wasâand now she wishes it to ease off a bit.
Sheâs sitting in the gazebo in the gardens for reprieve, a novel in hand as the screaming of insects choruses a song for her amusement. The aroma of flowers surrounds her and for a moment she feels utter peace in the world. The summer is ending and there are no celebrations or events to concern herself with. For the first time in what feels like eons, Maleficia Draconia can breathe.Â
The sound of someone approaching puts a pause in this.Â
She lowers her book to peer over at whoever is coming, hoping silently it isnât an advisor or a courtier seeking out an audience on the sly. Fortunately, the sight of two horns and a scowling face turning the corner nullifies this as she turns back to her book.Â
âFinally decided to see the sun?â She muses as she hears him stepping onto the gazebo platform. She waits for his response, but only comes to feel surprised when Malleus kneels by where she sits and does something that he hasnât done in a long time nowâhe places his head in her lap. At his age, his body is too tall now to really kneel efficiently at her side, but by the gods does the boy try as he hits his head right down. Her hand comes up on instinct to brush strands of his dark hair behind his ear as he looks over the gardens, his shoulders tense with stress.Â
Theyâre silent for a moment, listening to the sounds of screaming insects from beyond before Malleus speaks.
âThe gardens look atrocious.â
Maleficia raises an eyebrow as she lowers her book to look at where heâs staring. Her hand continues to stroke his head soothingly as she huffs a soft laugh. âOur groundskeepers are going for a more âuntamedâ look this season.â
âI have counted twenty-six thistles in the minute I have been here.â Malleus shoots back as his hand comes to rest by his face. âItâs late in the season. They might be growing lazy.â
 âNonsense. You know how hard working they are. You spent ample amounts of time with them when you were younger.â She fails to hide the smile teasing on her lips with this comment. Malleusâ temper tantrums had landed him in more than enough problems in his youth. Problems which were often rectified by a gentle lesson of how hard it is to fix up his messesâgarden destruction included.Â
Malleus deigns her with a unprincely snort in response. They fall back into a warm silence as she keeps her hand on his head and returns her attention to her book. She knows that something is on his mind, but she retains her silence both to give him an opportunity to speak, and to enjoy the moment that theyâre having. In the privacy of the garden, they can get away with this rare display of familial affection.Â
She feels him sigh as his eyes flutter close before he speaks up. âDo you ever feel⌠unease?âÂ
âUnease?â She hums quietly as she turns a page. âOn many occasions I have, yes. Unease tends to go hand in hand with some of the things I have dealt with.âÂ
She knows he doesnât mean in the sense of his royal duties. Malleus is an unusually quiet and introverted boyâbut she had noticed him being more so the past week as summer began to inch towards its end. He opens his eyes and sighs again before withdrawing to sit back on his knees.Â
Maleficia wisely closes her book and sets it down before affixing him with as stern of a look as she can muster without chuckling. âSighing and moping in the corners does little to aid me in providing advice.âÂ
Malleusâ gaze goes upwards to stare at the ceiling of the gazebo before his expression drops to a pout. âI am feeling reluctant to return to NRC.â
âOh? And why is that?âÂ
Maleficia quietly reaches her hand out to brush his bangs back from his forehead, revealing the scale pattern beneath. Malleusâ eyes flutter shut at the gesture as his pout remains present.
âThree years have passed now, and I have yet to feel included in the school environment. Spending my days with those I already know from here hardly feels like an efficient use of time.â His jaw clenches. âEvery effort I make to form any sort of connection to others feels like itâs a pointless endeavour at this rate.â
âMalleus, you must be patient with these things. It takes time for people to warm up to the likes of us. You must simply continue being yourself, and the right people will make the effort to get to know you. I understand it may seem upsetting right now, but you must simply keep trying your best.â A faint smile touches her lips despite the worry gnawing at her heart. She wishes she could do more, but she also understands that these are things he must figure out himself. âYouâre going to this school to gain new experiences and see the world beyond our little Valley without the Senate looming over you. Things will work out in the end.âÂ
Malleusâ body seems to relax at her words as he opens his eyes again. His expression eases to his usual neutral look as he nods slightly. â... yes, I suppose you are correct.â
âI often am.â She pinches his cheek lightly, causing the scowl to immediately return to his face as he jerks to avoid her grasp, making her laugh in turn. âBesides, are you not excited to see Lilia, Silver, and Sebek more often again? Well. More often than you do already.â
A pointed look has him averting her gaze as she picks her book up again. His demeanour reminds her of Meleanor, but the similarities no longer ache when she considers them. This was Malleusâher grandson, not his mother, nor his fatherâand she was eager to see the person he was still destined to become. âNow, you should be packing, should you not? We donât need the crisis we had last year where we were all hunting down books for you last minute.âÂ
Malleus groans softly before rising to his feet and brushing his pants off. He presses a brief kiss to her forehead, coaxing another smile from her lips before he pulls away.Â
âYes, grandmother,â he grumbles with all the moodiness of an embarrassed teenage boy, and Maleficia canât help but feel happiness at seeing it. Cursed or not, she will continue to enjoy these moments of joy as long as she may have them.
#twst#twst fanfiction#maleficia draconia#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#meleanor draconia#levan draconia#40 min spent on deciding a header alone#'hey amy she hasnt even been in the game yet' and?#listen maleficia may be 0% in-game but she is 100% in my brain thank u#obviously some flexibility with the facts here idk who malleus' grandpa is or what maleficias thoughts were during malleus' upbringing#but AAAAAAA listen... her.#lian i hope i did u proud i even made it a happy ending LMAO
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