#i like to pretend everything's ok but something just changed a couple days ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nameless-jamie · 3 months ago

Note

Hello, I love your PA series! Can I request a story where PA is on a plane with no wifi and Jamie's with the team at a party and celebrates too hard which makes him drunk call her a couple of times leaving her tons of embarrassing messages to listen to after she lands and it's all about how he misses her and how she should be here and not away from him and just being a pining mess 🤭🤭🤭 thanks 💜💜💜

Drunk Calls, Sober Thoughts

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

A/N: Ok finally the slow-burn is coming to an end! They confessed!!!!!!!!!! Let's see how it goes between them.

TW: cursing, drunk Jamie

It had been three days since their kiss.

A real kiss. Not an accident. Not some flirty moment they could brush off. Not another near miss where one of them pulled away before it could mean something. No, this was the kind of kiss that settled things. That left no more space for pretending. That confirmed what they had both known for months but had been too stubborn—or too scared—to say out loud.

And yet, they hadn’t talked about it.

Not properly, anyway.

Maybe it was because they were both still figuring out what it meant beyond the obvious. Maybe it was because neither of them wanted to ruin the unspoken magic of it by overanalyzing. Maybe it was because they were both terrified of hearing the other say something that might change everything.

And then Y/N had to leave. Not by choice.

It wasn’t dramatic—just a weekend trip. Rebecca had sent her, because the club was organizing a big preseason charity match in Italy, one of those fancy, and since Y/N was Jamie’s PA, she had to go ahead of the team to finalize travel details, hotel arrangements, media schedules, and all the other logistical nightmares that came with organizing a high-profile event. She had groaned about it, dragging her suitcase down the hallway of her apartment the night before, grumbling about hating flights with no WiFi and being too tired to socialize.

Jamie had hated it. Not that he’d said that, of course. He had just sulked as he carried her bags to the Uber and grumbled something about how “I don’t see why I couldn’t just come with ya. Ain’t like I’d be in the way.” She had laughed, rolled her eyes, and promised she’d be back in a few days.

Before she left, though he made some stupid joke about how she should “at least bring me back some of that proper Italian gelato, yeah?” to lighten the mood. But something about the way he stood there as she pulled away had lingered with her.

Like he totally hadn’t wanted her to go.

Like he had something else he wanted to say but didn’t.

She had tried not to think about that too much during the flight.

She failed.

That had been two days ago.

And Jamie Tartt?

Jamie Tartt was not okay.

He had told himself he would be. He had gone to training, gone to the gym, kept himself busy. He had filled his schedule, just like he always did when something was sitting too heavy in his chest. But then the team had a night off, and the lads decided to go out, and Jamie thought, Yeah, that’ll help.

Spoiler: It did not help.

It was the lads idea to drag him out to some fancy club in London, insisting he needed to “stop brooding like a lovesick teenager” (Isaac’s words, not his).

It was loud. The bass from the speakers made the floor vibrate, the air smelled like expensive perfume and spilled cocktails, and normally, Jamie would be in his element.

But tonight?

Tonight, he was five drinks in, slouched in the booth like a man in mourning, ignoring the girls who kept trying to make eye contact with him across the room.

Not in an obvious way.

To everyone else, Jamie Tartt looked fine. He was sitting in a booth with the team, half-listening to whatever joke Dani was telling, nodding along to Isaac’s commentary about something on his phone, watching Colin get dragged to the dance floor by some boy.

But inside?

Inside, Jamie was fucking miserable.

Because Y/N wasn’t there.

And yeah, she had been gone for less than two days, and yeah, he had spent longer stretches of time without seeing her before. But this time was different. This time, she had kissed him. This time, they weren’t just coworkers who flirted too much. This time, he knew what it felt like to have her lips on his, and now she was far away on a plane, unreachable, and he hated every fucking second of it.

Sam nudged him. “You’re being weird.”

“I ain’t being weird,” Jamie muttered, swirling the ice in his glass.

“You are,” Isaac confirmed. “You’ve had that same miserable look on your face all night.”

Jamie exhaled heavily, slumping further.

Colin raised an eyebrow. “You gonna admit you miss her, or should we just wait for you to drink another shot and start sobbing about it?”

Jamie scowled. “I ain’t sobbing.”

But even as he said it, his hand was already reaching for his phone.

“You look like a man who’s about to do something stupid,” Sam observed, watching Jamie fumble with his phone.

“Gonna call her,” Jamie announced.

“Oh, this should be good,” Dani grinned, watching him unlock it.

“She’s on a plane,” Isaac reminded him. “No WiFi.”

Jamie squinted at the screen. “It’ll still ring.”

“It won’t,” Colin said, shaking his head. “It’ll go to voicemail.”

“Good,” Jamie huffed. “I got shit to say.”

“Oh, this is gonna be so good,” Dani grinned, nudging Sam.

Jamie hit call.

The line rang once, then—predictably—went straight to voicemail. The second the beep sounded, Jamie started talking.

“Oi. Where the fuck are you? Oh. Wait. You’re on the plane. Right. Anyway—listen. I don’t like this. You being gone. I don’t like it. This club’s shit without you. Actually, no—everything is shit without you. Call me when you land.”

Isaac groaned. “Jesus Christ.”

Jamie hung up.

Then frowned.

Then dialed again.

Straight to voicemail.

“I mean, you don’t have to call me. But you should. ‘Cause, like… what if you never come back? What if you get offered a better job? What if some posh Italian twat sweeps you off your feet? What if—wait, no, you’d never leave me. Would you?”

Sam groaned. “Oh my God.”

Dani gasped dramatically. “AY DIOS MIO.”

Colin looked at Isaac. “Should we stop him?”

Isaac shrugged. “Nah, let him embarrass himself.”

Jamie ignored them and called again.

“I kissed you. Well, we kissed each other. And I dunno what we’re doin’ now, but I keep thinkin’ about it, and it’s annoying, ‘cause I can’t do anythin’ about it while you’re fuckin’ gone, and—Fuckin' hell. I think I love you.”

Isaac and Colin looked at each other.

“Oh, he’s definitely a goner.”

Y/N landed at Heathrow the next early morning, running on two hours of sleep and an overpriced airport coffee that did nothing to make her feel awake. She was exhausted, her body aching from the cramped plane seat, her mind already spinning with everything she needed to do once she got home.

But then she turned off airplane mode.

Her phone buzzed violently in her hand, a flood of notifications appearing all at once. Emails, texts, flight alerts—normal things. And then, right at the top of the screen:

Jamie Tartt (7) [Voicemails]

Her stomach flipped.

She shouldn’t listen to them here. Should wait until she was home, somewhere private, somewhere she could think—

But her finger was already tapping the first one.

The second she heard Jamie’s voice, her chest tightened.

"Oi. Where the fuck are you? Oh. Right. You’re on the plane. Right. Anyway—listen. I don’t like this. You being gone. I don’t like it. This club’s shit without you. Actually, no—everything is shit without you. Call me when you land.”

She inhaled sharply, pressing her lips together to keep from smiling. Dumbass.

She hit play on the next one.

"I mean, you don’t have to call me. But you should. ‘Cause, like… what if you never come back?..."

A warmth spread through her, creeping up her neck, curling in her stomach.

The next message played automatically.

Y/N’s breath hitched.

A crackly, muffled sound came through the speaker—someone gasping dramatically, followed by a distant voice laughing, “Did he just say he loves her?”

Her fingers trembled as she clutched the phone tighter.

The airport disappeared around her. The voices, the announcements, the rolling suitcases—it all blurred into nothing. The only thing she could hear was Jamie, drunk and emotional, pouring his heart out in a way he never had before.

I think I love you.

Had he meant it?

He had to be drunk. He was drunk. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t real. If anything, the fact that he had said it while he was drunk—when his guard was completely down, when he wasn’t overthinking or trying to be cool—made it feel even more real.

Her heart pounded as she played the last voicemail.

"You’re gonna listen to all these in the morning and laugh at me, aren’t ya? ‘Cause you think I’m a dumbass. And I am. But I don’t care. I miss you, and I don’t wanna pretend like I don’t. I just… wish you were here. That’s all."

By the time the message ended, Y/N was already in a cab on the way to his house.

Jamie was still half-drunk when she found him, sprawled out on his bed, one foot dangling off the edge, his shirt nowhere in sight, and the blankets twisted around him like he had fought them in his sleep—and lost. His hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions, his lips slightly parted as he stirred at the sound of her footsteps.

His head lolled to the side, bleary eyes blinking up at her.

“Am I dreamin’?” His voice was thick, slow, coated in sleep and leftover alcohol.

Y/N sat at the edge of the bed, resting a hand lightly on his chest. “No, Jamie.”

His brows furrowed, his eyes tracking over her face like he needed to make sure she was real.

“You’re here,” he murmured.

“I am.”

His lips curved, lazy and lopsided. “Fuckin’ hell. You’re so pretty. I forgot how pretty you are.”

Y/N huffed out a laugh. “You saw me three days ago.”

“Yeah, but three days is forever,” he whined, voice raspy and rough, like he’d been talking about her all night. Which, to be fair, he had. His fingers clumsily reached for her, tracing along the hem of her sleeve, barely touching, like he was still convincing himself she was real.

“I missed you,” he admitted, softer this time, more serious.

Her heart clenched.

“I know,” she said gently, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “You told me. Seven times.”

Jamie blinked, trying to process her words. Then his face contorted in horror. “You—”

“I heard the voicemails.”

His groan was immediate, deep, like it physically pained him. “Oh, fuck.” He threw an arm over his face, muffling another groan into his bicep. “That’s so bad.”

Y/N pried his hand away, forcing him to look at her. His skin was warm, flushed from the alcohol, his eyes glassy and full of something unreadable.

“Jamie.”

He blinked at her, lips parting slightly.

“Did you mean it?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

A flicker of clarity crossed his face. His throat bobbed, his fingers twitching slightly where they rested against the sheet.

Then—so softly she almost didn’t hear it—he said, “Every word.”

A breath she hadn’t realized she was holding escaped her lips.

And just like that, it was done. The waiting. The wondering. The endless push and pull.

Jamie reached for her, his touch warm and clumsy, trailing up her arm like he was trying to memorize her. “You smell nice,” he murmured, pulling her closer. “Like—like that vanilla stuff. I love it. I love you.”

Her breath caught in her throat.

Jamie blinked at her, eyes heavy with exhaustion, but still so open, so full of that raw, unfiltered honesty that only seemed to slip out when he was too drunk to hold it in.

“You love me?” she whispered.

He hummed, pressing his forehead to her shoulder, nuzzling against her like a sleepy cat. “Yeah. Thought I was bein’ obvious, but you’re all stubborn and shit.” His fingers found her waist, rubbing small, lazy circles against her hip. “But I’ll say it again if you want. I love you, I love you, I love you—”

Y/N laughed softly, threading her fingers through his hair, feeling the way he melted under her touch.

She climbed into bed beside him, and he immediately pulled her into his arms, wrapping around her like he never planned on letting go. His lips brushed against her temple, his breath warm and steady.

“You’re not allowed to leave again,” he mumbled sleepily. “Not even for work. I’ll sack myself. Don’t care.”

Y/N smiled against his skin, heart impossibly full.

“Okay, Jamie.”

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #ted lasso show #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x y/n #afc richmond #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt imagine #roy kent #sam obisanya

150 notes · View notes

flowery-mess · 2 months ago

Text

somebody else

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x female reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI / short smut, like a paragraph / angst, angst, angst

Words: 3k

Author's note: seems like the only thing that the writer's block will let me write is sad shit. It's inspired by the songs mentioned bellow and one of my older ideas that finally came to life

‼️ Please remember that this is a work of fiction featuring a real person and does not reflect Noah's actual feelings.

Noah Sebastian masterlist

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

songs to listen:

Astrid S - It's ok if you forget me

Walking on cars - Somebody else

cursive paragraphs are flashbacks

bold cursive is reader's letter

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

You and Noah, a couple that everyone adored in the beginning. It was almost like love at the first sight. You two hit it off shortly after you met, feeling the kind of connection that tells you there’s nothing to wait fot, that you’re meant to be. But were you really?

“Noah we should talk.” you sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

Noah stood by the big window in his apartment where you moved just a few weeks ago. It was nice for the first week or two, but then things took a turn and everything seemed to fall apart.

He knew it was coming, the talk and addressing the elephant in the room. You thought that maybe he just wasn’t used to living with a partner, that he needed time to adjust to this new living situation, but only he knew that the problem was elsewhere.

“Noah stop!” you laughed when Noah dipped his finger in the chocolate cream and put it on your nose.

“Nah, you look cute and now I can do this.” he leaned down to lick the sweet cream off your nose.

You were both craving something sweet and nothing seemed like a better idea than to make cupcakes when it was almost midnight.

“You’re disgusting.” you scrunched your nose and pretended to be disgusted.

“You love it.” and he was right, you did. You loved being able to spend all of your free time with him, doing all those domestic things. And you loved him.

“I’m tired, can we-” he tried to speak, but you stopped him before he could finish the sentence.

“No. I can’t pretend like nothing is wrong anymore, I’m tired of that.” you stood your place, determined to not go to bed with tears in your eyes again.

“Okay.” he sighed and kept looking out of the window. He knew this was his fault and he didn’t have the courage to turn around and see your face, the hurt in your eyes.

“What happened? What changed? What did I do?” you whispered the last question, scared of what his answer will be.

One day he came home and it wasn’t your Noah anymore. He became distant, almost cold towards you. Your sweet Noah turned to someone who was barely his shadow.

The subtle touches stopped, his thousand kisses in the morning stopped, going to sleep together stopped, the intimacy of your relationship was gone.

“You did nothing wrong. I just, I-” he finally turned around to face you. When he saw you sitting on the couch in the middle of now yours living room he felt sick.

He was the cause of the tears that were threatening to start running down your cheeks, he was the reason why you felt so small in that moment.

“You just what?” you asked, hoping for an answer. You just needed to know, even if it would hurt you, nothing could be more painful than the change in his actions.

“I don’t think I can do this.” he whispered and closed his eyes with a hope that when he opens them again his head will be back where it was when he met you.

He was happy back then, hell he was happy even now, but something in his head kept telling him that he’s not worthy of this. Of your love, your kindness, the warmth you brought to his apartment, how you always welcomed him home with a smile on your face.

He was open with you in the beginning, telling you that he never imagined himself with a girlfriend in a happy relationship. He told you that accepting love is hard for him, but he promised you that he will try. Try for you.

“Can you come here please?” you shifted to the side so he could sit next to you. He did as you asked him, sat down and left enough space between you.

You saw his body was tense, his head was low and his eyes were full of mixed feelings. He wasn’t looking at you, he couldn’t.

“I don’t get it Noah, I need you to talk to me or I’m gonna go crazy.” you let out a nervous laugh and felt the first tears wet your cheek.

He heard the crying in your voice and he couldn’t help himself but to look at you. He used to look at you differently.

“So, what do you say?” Noah asked nervously, watching you walk through the rooms of his apartment.

He just asked you if you wanted to move in. He thought your rent was ridiculously high for the box that you called your apartment and he thought it would be a good next step for your relationship.

“Do you sleep with your window open or closed?” you asked with a serious face.

“What?” poor Noah, he was so nervous to ask you this and now you were teasing him.

“Answer, open or closed?” you kept looking at him like that question was so important.

“Open.” he gave you his answer, wondering what the outcome will be.

“Perfect. When can I move in?” you finally broke a smile and a wave of relief rushed through Noah’s body.

“Really?” he closed the space between you and took your face in his big warm hands. They felt like home.

“Really.” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his.

He couldn’t stop the smile on his face, the one when your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He grazed your cheeks with his thumbs, his gaze flicking between your eyes and lips. The moment felt perfect.

“I love you.” he said. And then he looked at you like you hang the moon and the stars when you said those three words back.

And now he was looking at you with “guilt” written all over his face.

“I-” it was hard for him to tell his thoughts out loud, because he knew he’s going to hurt. “I can’t keep doing this. I’m just gonna hurt you and you don’t deserve that.”

You didn’t understand that, you didn’t get what he meant by that.

“I’m always gonna leave for tour, I’m always at the studio and coming home late. I don’t want you to be here alone, waiting for me.”

You didn’t know what to say. You talked about this, about his lifestyle and you knew what you were getting yourself into.

“Why would you think you’d hurt me? I know what comes with your job Noah and I’m okay with that.”

But you knew he was just making excuses, giving you reasons to leave him.

But your love for him was stronger.

You loved waking up next to him, feeling the warmth from his body and the weight of his arms that were wrapped around you every time you opened your eyes.

You loved weekends when you didn’t have to wake up early for work and you could sleep in, have a morning cuddle before making breakfast together.

You loved his sweet little messages during the day.

You suddenly became a fan of doing the house chores, because you were doing it together.

You loved it even when he came home late from the studio, because that meant it was one of the few times he’d let you hold him. You often took a bath together, him laying on your chest, often falling asleep from your fingers running through his hair.

“I’m gonna hurt you.” he repeated. He knew he would never hurt you intentionally, but he was scared that his lifestyle would hurt you.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t know how to accept happiness. You don’t mean that.”

“I’m not happy like this.” he said quickly and with a firm voice.

You took a few breaths before saying the next sentence. “You’re not happy?”

Silence took over the room as both of you tried to get a hold of your emotions.

You kept looking at him, wanting him to say something. But he stayed silent.

“Listen Noah, if this is a phase that we have to overcome because all of this is new for you, then we’re gonna make it work. We just have to be honest with each other.”

“I am.” short and straight answer. But it felt like a punch to your gut.

Anger took over you and suddenly you had a lot to say.

“I’m not gonna let you do this. I’m not gonna let you ruin our relationship just because you think you don’t deserve it. I don’t know what caused this, why you feel like you need to suffer and you don’t deserve to be happy. But I want to help you through it and realise that you’re a person who’s worthy of love.” your voice broke with the last sentence. The man that you were looking at deserved all of the love in the world and it seemed like he was the only one to think the opposite.

His head was hanging low, his hair long enough to cover his eyes when they fell from behind his ears, making it impossible for you to see the tears on his face.

He didn’t know why he was feeling the way he was, he just felt like he doesn’t deserve someone like you.

“I love you Noah, so much. You make me happy every day.” you continued and slowly moved to kneel in front of him. Seeing his glassy eyes and trembling chin broke your heart even more. “You’re so worthy of all my love. You treat me so well like no one else ever did. I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side. I need you to hear me when I say this, look at me.” you lifted his head with your fingers under his chin, gently forcing his eyes to look into yours. “I’m offering you my heart here, all you have to do is accept it. I wanna give you all the love you deserve, make up for everyone who made you feel like you don’t.”

Your hand slowly slid down his clothed chest, taking you back to a moment when everything was still perfect.

“So good.” you moaned with your head tilted backwards so you could see Noah’s face. His hips were thrusting into you, his eyes closed from all the pleasure and you used this moment to trace your fingers down his chest. It was covered in sweat and moving up and down from his heavy breathing.

“That’s it, touch yourself.” he encouraged you when your hand slipped between your bodies and started circling around your clit.

You both felt it coming. His head was in the crook of your neck, he was giving you soft irregular kisses as your back arched from the bed when the orgasm took over your body, his own following right behind you.

But that was weeks ago. He hasn’t touched you since then. The only physical affection he gave you these days was a quick peck or forehead kiss.

“I’m gonna wait for you when you leave for tour, I already told you that that’s not a problem for me. I’m always gonna be here when you come back.”

You mirrored his movements and let your eyes stare at the floor.

After minutes of silence you understood that his stubborn mind won’t accept anything of what you just said.

“I think that you need time to think about things. I’ll stay in the guest room and give you space. But I love you Noah, and I’m gonna keep repeating that until you’ll accept it.”

You stood up from the floor, ready to jump in a shower and cry, thinking about what you did wrong.

You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist to stop you from walking away, a small spark of hope that he’s going to open up.

“I’ll take the guest room, you stay in the bedroom.”

“Okay.” you whispered and pulled your hand out of his grip, wanting nothing more than to be upstairs alone.

You thought that giving Noah space would help. That he’d think about what you said to him that night. That he’d process that and his own feelings.

But nothing seemed to change.

From a home full of love and laughter, your apartment became cold and silent.

He didn’t kiss you when he came home anymore, he didn’t send you sweet messages throughout the day, he didn’t come back to sleep in your bedroom and he stopped showing you affection at all.

One day you decided that it was enough, enough of torturing yourself, because that’s how it felt. He left that morning, didn’t tell you where, but that became a regular thing. But the fact that he didn’t even say bye and just left like you were not there was the last drop.

You packed yourself a bag, for a week, ten days maximum. You thought that would be enough, that when Noah will read the letter you left him on the kitchen counter he will realise that you two have shit to solve out.

He came home later that day, the sun was almost set and he wanted nothing more than to disappear behind the door of the guest room just so he could avoid seeing you.

Seeing you hurt and sad, knowing that it was because of him, made him hate himself even more. You didn’t deserve any of that and he was sure he didn’t deserve your love you were willing to give him.

When he noticed your favorite shoes were missing he didn’t think too much of it, maybe you went out with a friend or for groceries. He stopped telling you where he was going a while ago, he didn’t blame you for doing the same.

But then he found the white folded paper on the kitchen counter and something immediately felt wrong. Like if he suddenly realised that you won’t be coming back from a store later.

He took the white paper in his inked hands and noticed the dots where the paper was more crinkled, knowing it was from your tears that he tried to ignore every day, every night when he tried to fall asleep, but heard your cries from down the hall.

My dear Noah,

I can’t live like this anymore.

As much as I want you to know that you’re loved and deserve to be loved, I need to feel loved too to make this work.

I tried to tell you and show you the best I could, but I guess I failed. I guess it wasn’t enough.

Living together like two strangers won’t help us, so I decided to leave for some time, to give you time alone to think about us.

I want you to know that I’m still in this and I want to give you 100% of me, but I need you to do the same.

I just wish I could have the happy version of you back, and I’m sorry if it’s my fault that you turned into this version of yourself. I’m sorry if I ever said or did something to make you feel like you’re not worthy.

Reach out when you feel ready to talk.

I love you, even if you don’t love me back.

He didn’t realise he was crying until some of the words you wrote started to blur.

He never wanted this. He never wanted to make you feel unloved, because he loved you with everything he had. He just couldn’t help it, the voices in his head that kept reminding him that you deserve so much more than he can give you.

You didn’t fail at loving him, deeply inside of him he never doubted your love for him. But the voices were stronger.

This wasn’t your fault, it was all on him.

I love you, even if you don’t love me back.

And he wanted to run after you to tell you he loves you. He wanted you to know, wanted you to stay, to tell him everything is going to be fine.

But he couldn’t.

You came back to his apartment after two weeks when you knew from Nick that he was at the studio. You packed more of your belongings. Walking through the apartment you felt sick. You kept seeing flashbacks of you two, happy in the beginning.

Then you left again.

Two weeks turned into four, then weeks turned to two months and you knew that he won’t reach out.

You went to pack all of your things from his apartment when they were gone for the weekend.

You cried the whole time, feeling humiliated that you were not worthy of a stupid text or a phone call.

When you were packed, you made your way out of there as quickly as you could.

You didn’t turn back, because despite everything, all you could see there were the happy memories with a man you thought was yours forever.

Noah tried to bullshit everyone with lies, that he moved on and that he was okay. He was far from being okay, but the thought of you being happy kept him from trying to make up the mess he made. He wanted you to be happy and was convinced that he could never do that.

And eventually you moved on. It was hard, but you did. You met someone who made you laugh. A genuine laugh that you experienced with Noah at the start of your relationship.

He was nice, attentive and made you feel loved.

But he will never know that you gave your heart to another man, to someone who you were sure you’ll love forever.

Noah found out after Matt ran into you and your new guy at a bar. He told him, because he felt it wasn’t fair to keep something like that from his best friend.

Matt told him that you looked happy, that you looked genuinely happy with that man on the small dancefloor, where he spun you around and danced with you until you ran out of breath.

Just like you and Noah used to, in your apartment almost every night before he ruined it. And now you were dancing with somebody else.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

Taglist: @lacy1986 @concretejunglefm @super-btstrash-posts @amelia-acero @justcarrie @koskeepsake @dominuslunae @ami--gami @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @lilcrazy011 @chey-h @xmads-omensx @blade-dressed-in-red @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrscevans @blvckmvgicwoman @punkprincess1999 @fear-its-beauty @bloody-spades @n0n3xsisting @thenmaybehellaintsobadafterall @athenexe @tashka @badomensls @fadingintothegrey @concrtlimits @whatismylifexox @theanarchymuse95 @renegadebirch @theasowle @darknightstarryeyes @montgomery-929496

If you want to be on my taglist click here

#noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian blurb #noah sebastian fan fiction #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian imagine #bad omens fan fiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #x reader

85 notes · View notes

scrubbinn · 11 months ago

Text

Slime HRT: ??? Months “Your choice”

“There you are! I was getting worried, your directions were awful for finding this café.”

“We both know I suck at directions, hope you didn't get rained on too much. Sorry for making you visit me over and over. I remember you said you’re not a fan of Hyper city”

“You know I like the rain, and this place makes it easier to visit you anyway. Now lemme just get the seat closer to you…

So how are you hun. Is the recovery going alright? Have you gotten any memories back?”

“A couple, yeah. I remember the name of that other slime I met a while ago. Sandy I think.”

“You think?”

“Memories are hard, please don't push me.”

“Sorry. Well it's good that you're healing, and you're not taking that stuff again right?

… right hun?!”

“I'm not, I'm not. Tomorrow is the last day I have to wait before I can legally take it again. Right now I'm just wondering if I should wait longer or not.”

“Don't do anything that isn't safe hun. I know this means a lot to you, I can't say I know what you're going through, cause I'm not a therian or otherkin or whatever like you. But please be safe, I don't like worrying about you… What's that on your phone? You're clearly hiding it.”

“It's nothing, I'm just running a poll, I want to see what the internet would do in my circumstance.”

“Hun!…”

“I'm not going to make my decision based on what random people have to say. I'm probably not even going to post it. I mean it's a pretty cool, textbook grey choice. Survive less happy than I could have been, or risk everything to finally feel normal and free… Please don't look at me like that.”

“You sound a lot happier about one of those choices hun, and it makes me scared.”

“...Y'know I've actually been thinking about moving into Hyper city. Roommates are ok with it as long as I give them a few months to search for a new place. We could also visit each other whenever. There's still a lot of problems here, but it still feels like there's less discrimination here than back home. I even have a good idea for what I want to do here! I'm studying to become a psychiatrist and work for Dr. Erian. He could really use someone who has a positive amount of bedside manners. There's a couple other doctors there but-

“I thought the plan was for us to live together?”

“...We will, when things get better back home. At least here it's easier for us to see each other, and I don't have to pretend I can't hear people whispering I'm a freak. At least, not as much. Nothing's changed long term.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, you don’t have to worry, everything is going to be fine. I’m not going to do anything stupid, but I don’t think it would be a bad thing if I started my HRT again after tomorrow. I know I can regain my memories slowly, so there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“There is a problem! You think it’s fine if you forget everything? Look, it's great that some of your memories are back, but that doesn’t mean all of them are gonna come back. You’re being reckless again. Your life isn’t something you can keep tossing around without expecting us to hold you down. Hun, you need to stop hurting yourself.”

“...I’m not hurting myself. I’m just trying to live my life. I don’t want to upset you, but you have to realize this is the most important thing for me right now. If I mess this up, then nothing is going to go well. I understand that you’re scared, but please think about how I feel. I’d be having heart palpitations if that were still possible. This choice needs a clear head to figure out. I don’t think either of us have that.”

“Maybe. You’re going to be fine right? You won’t die from this or anything right?”

“No, I’m not going to die. The doc made sure it’s going to be safe at this point. We just have to hope he’s wrong about the side effects, and before you go saying he’s a trained endocrinologist, you haven’t met him, and I don’t even think he knows all that much. Trust me, you’d realize what I mean if you met him.”

“But he knows more than you do hun.”

“Ok, yeah, but it’s clear this is still all new to him too. He’s never been right about when any of the changes will happen or what the side effects would be. He made me sign an NDA about slipping into a three day coma. He’s clearly more afraid his medical license will be revoked than any actual permanent damage he’ll inflict."

“Aren’t you breaking that NDA right now?”

“I don’t have to listen to that. Besides, as long as the internet doesn’t hear about it, then it’s fine. It's not like you're gonna shout this conversation to the rooftops… don't actually tell anyone else, I'd rather not get in trouble again.”

“So, where are you staying anyway? You said the houses here are pretty expensive right? Do you have enough savings to find a place?”

“There's a non-profit place called T.H.E.M.S, they can find me a place to stay while I try to find a more permanent residence here. They have an on-site doctor too, so you don't have to worry even harder now.”

“Hey, you can't fault me for worrying about my girlfriend! That's good there's going to be a doctor nearby. I'm glad. Stay safe hun.”

“I will, don't worry. Now come on, less talking about depressing medical stuff, more pictures of tiny foods! Right now I want to show you the cute cupcakes this place has!

“Oh they’re shaped like little dragons!”

“It's so cute, right?”

...

Click… Post sent!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Start - Prev - Next

Mention list: @a-shramp , @calliecwrites

Thanks for reading slime HRT so far. It's been so much fun for Navi to write and we hope you enjoy it. This marks about a third of what we plan to do. If you're confused about the terms Hyper city or T.H.E.M.S you can check out information about them. Pretty important since this is gonna be the location for the rest of the series. Anyway, thank you for reading. It means the world to us. bye-bye!

-Sweetheart💖

#trans #transgender #monster girl #slime girl #slime hrt #animal hrt #species hrt #therian hrt #otherkin hrt #therian #otherkin #fiction writing #original writing #creative writing

61 notes · View notes

ccmatta · 2 months ago

Text

Long vent post about late autism diagnosys and my therapist making me speak up.

It was last year, at 28, that I was diagnosed, right? 28 years pretending to be neurotypical and trying my hardest to mask every minor disconfort so I wouldn't be noticed, whilst I didn't know that's mostly why I was anxious all the fucking time. Last month they changed the routine in the hospital/clinic I go to. I'd have to have lunch there. And while I have not many food sensitivities, I eat a lot of things just fine (thanks to my high masking, I just got used to eating what I despise xD), I'm just unable to eat different foods touching each other, besides some exceptions. For instance, if a potato touches the rice? i wont eat any of it, I'll scoop the parts that are "clean", trying to save what's left in a "good state". And how is the lunch at the hospital? A lunch box where everything is put together. A couple of weeks ago I cried while having lunch because the legumes were touching half of the lunch box, I lost 1/2 of the rice and beans, and the protein was a meatball that I just found so repulsive because of the texture that I could not eat. So I ate 1/3 of my lunch. While crying because I was hungry and everything was touching in the lunch box and to push my mind a bit, there was no sits left on the tables, so I had to eat in the couch.

Last week I made a medical examination that was basicaly me with that thing on my arm to check my blood pressure for 24h. Guess when it reached 15/12? yeah, lunch time. When I was just so scared of what I'd get that I could've died lmao (i mean, not rly i guess?). The rest of the day it was chaotic, but wasn't that high.

Today I had all this session with my individual therapist talking about all that. He had to make a whole document for me to give to the hospital staff telling them that this change will demage my treatment and it's sugested they try to acomodate me. And in all that talk, he made me realize how much I suffer because I am too shy, too scared of attracting attention to myself, to be seen as weird, that I just got used to keeping silent and hurting inside. And now that I know about the asd, I can ask for inclusion, acomodations, and for my struggles to be respected. And that's insane to me. That's something I can do???? Yet, I have not the courage for that. Telling him all that today, he pointed out how embarresed and nervous I sounded, that he could tell how it was hard on me.

I'm not ashamed of the asd in itself, I'm cool in talking about the hyperfocus, hyperfixations and how it fucks me up most of the time, that's ok. But talking about silly things like "please, don't let my salad touch my rice or i'll have a meltdown and spend the rest of the day depressed" is too much lmao. Or trying to explain to my family that from time to time I change my favorite fork and I'll want to eat only with that one fork, or it won't make me happy. How I cant eat with other people because the sounds drive me insane; I used to scream and start arguments during lunch when I was a teen, because I didn't understand why I was feeling so bad. Geez, my own chewing and breathing sounds trigger things on my brain, i'm always listening to music/podcast or watching something because of that. I may turn deaf sooner then it was supposed to lmao.

Eh... March 2025; 5 months having a diagnosys. Still relearning how to go through life. 🤷‍♀️

#ye ik ik long rambling #vent post #autistic adult #late diagnosed autistic

10 notes · View notes

lifethroughfingertips · 2 months ago

Text

A while ago I put in a two weeks notice for my job and then ended up staying once a week and to cover for vacations

I haven’t been doing well physically lately and my manager is on vacation for 2 weeks. I’ve been trying to cover but doing full time for 2 or so weeks is just not very feasible for me right now

So I went in a couple days. My operations manager pretty much told me I could set my schedule and come in 6 hours a day or whatever going forward

But honestly I am using all my spoons when I go to work on working. I don’t have the energy for anything else. It’s embarrassing for me to be inconsistent. I don’t want all my coworkers thinking I’m just a slacker or anything. I was informed no one is judging and they wanted to know more about how it feels etc

They are actually being insanely nice. They do underpay me but the understanding and accommodations are above and beyond really. I’m so grateful. I desperately want to take advantage of this deal but I fear I keep trying to make something work for me that just isn’t.

I cannot commit to a set schedule with my illnesses. It’s not just the MS anymore which I was diagnosed with nearly 12 years ago. It’s also super painful endometriosis, chronic Lyme, a bladder disease called interstitial cystitis, a narrowing spine and multiple bulging discs, arthritis, etc.

I know I appear to be very put together and adorable and perfect ☺️ haha but I’m actually in pain 24/7 and struggling very much behind closed doors. I put on a brave face all the time.

I can’t pretend anymore to not be suffering. I have tues, wed, thurs and Monday and Tuesday next week to get through. I guess I kind of want advice. Should I try my hardest to get through these days? Then send the email as he requested and fully resign with an explanation? Or just simply let them know I need to bow out due to my health at this time regardless of whether they need someone to fill in right now?

He said he would keep me in the books in case my health is ever better or my situation changes and I want to come back. It makes me so happy to feel like a valuable part of their team. That’s what he told me too. I’m very good at my job and I’m needed etc I’m a good asset. It made me feel proud of myself. I wish my circumstances were different

I just think now is the time to focus on fully caring for my mother the way she needs and to make sure that the payment for caring for her through Medicaid finally goes through. Might put that under my bf and apply for disability for myself. Then know how much I can make outside of disability with my side hustles. Time to make sure my self care is on point by keeping apts, staying on top of med refills, starting a new ms disease modifying therapy even if I don’t want to. Making sure I get my bloodwork done, going to physical therapy, getting stronger, moving my body more. And it’s time to work on my other endeavors I fully believe I’m capable of if I can manage things well.

I booked my first market where I’m going to sell my baked goods in early May! My lil cottage bakery business name is on the flyer and everything. I want to do more markets. I wanna write more fiction, make videos on TikTok singing and baking and everything. If I can get to 10,000 followers I can make money partnering with companies.

I was making a little sample singing video just now and I paused it to hear it. I paused it exactly on 2:22 which is an angel number! It feels like the universe has been telling me it’s ok to let this job go and go forth with my passions. It’s just so scary. I wish I could handle all of it.

I of course need the guaranteed money a stable job gives me. I also don’t want to leave anyone hanging especially since I care about these people. I hope they understand as they say they do. Any advice would be awesome.

Dealing with work and chronic illnesses is honestly one of the most traumatic things with this disease for me. It gives me such anxiety. I’ve realized lately I have not accepted my disabilities. I keep trying to live as though I have none and am frustrated when I’m not capable in any way.

I know I’m capable of many things. Shit I may even want to be in the para Olympics someday. But I can’t do all of it. I can’t manage working a 9-5 and handling everything else on my plate. I know my parents want me to keep working because they want that peace of mind. I understand that. I want to make them proud. I hope I can find a different way to do that.

I’m too talented to not be able to make money from my talents. I can do this. I’m putting it out into the universe. I believe in myself. I know I am enough though even if all I can do is make it through the day. It’s just hard sometimes

#personal #ms #multiple sclerosis #chronic illness #spoonie #spoons #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #chronically sick #disabled #disability #disabilties

13 notes · View notes

theywantedplayer · 2 years ago

Note

“Don't listen to them” and “Because I know you” with sidney crosby? maybe the media is hating on reader?

MastersList

Prompt List

You knew coming out to the internet about dating thee Sidney crosby would be as exciting as it was Nerve racking. You talked to a couple of the other wags about how they got treated when they came out to the media.

When Sidney got instagram about 4 days ago his first post was about you too. The morning after he posted you gained many followers and you saw all the nice things they were saying, making you feel so comfortable. But when more time passed more comments were made and you noticed how some of them were getting out of hand

Sidney could tell you that something has been bothering you, the way you've been acting around him and not taking as many picture’s. He wanted to bring it up when he first noticed but he didn't want to push you, so he waited until he tried to take a photo of you together.

You and Sidney were about to go out to a nice dinner together, you both got all dressed up. So Sidney tried to take a photo of you both in the mirror, but then he noticed you tried to slip out of his grasp and out of frame.

“Everything ok?” Sidney asked

You shrugged and tried to play it off “I just need to fix my makeup” you said, grabbing some massara and pretending to fix something hoping then you finished he’d forget about the photo. But then you finished Sidney tried again and again he noticed you move out of frame

“What’s going on with you?” he asked now turning to face you and placing his phone in the bathroom counter

You couldn't make eye contact with him, you knew what his face was going to look like. His eyebrows all crossed and staring at you. You were nervous to tell him about what the fan’s were saying and commenting about you online, you didn't want him to feel bad and you were nervous if you told him maybe he’d agree with them.

Before you spoke your finger was tracing the outline of the marble counter, avoiding eye contact with Sidney.

“I just don't wanna be in the photo” you shrugged hoping he’d let it go.

“Ok now I know that's not true” He scoffed

You stared down at your high heels but your eyes started to tear up under His gace’s.You tried to take a deep breath but it failed you, he heard the shakiness in your breath. Sidney took a step forward now right in front of you.

“What is going on with you?” he spoke, grabbing your hand that was still tracing the counter, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

You pressed your forehead against his chest, you felt him place his other hand on the back of your head.

“Ever since we came out to the internet” you mumbled “I- people have been so ... .so mean” you cried the last couple of words out, wrapping both hands around his waist.

You felt his hand run through your hair and his other hand moved to your back and rubbed it.

“Mean how?” he asked into your ear.

You moved your head up to look at him, his facial expression hasn't changed.

“So-some people were saying that i'm not good enough for you” You mumbled

“What?” he said surprised

“They said im not-” “No I heard you, I just can't believe people are commenting that”

“Their Dm’ing me” you mudder

“Why didn't you tell me” He asked whipping the smeared makeup out from under your eye’s

“I didn't want to other you and I thought-” You took a deep breath before you continued “I thought you’d agree with them”

Sidney didn't speak for a couple seconds, he was shocked that you thought he’d agree with them. He’s loved you for so long you were it for him, he thanks you almost everyday for sticking with him when things got tough.

“Why…why would I agree with them, what their saying isn't true” He tolled

“But what if it's true-” “It's not true and I wanna know how I know because I know you and they don't. They've seen one god damn picture of you and they think they know you, don't listen to them”

A soft smile spread across your face at his word

“Thank you” you whispered

“Anytime, I love you ok?” he smiled

“I love you too”

He leaned down kissed you softly

#sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby angst #sidney crosby x reader #sidney crosby fluff #sidney crosby #nhl smut #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl angst

304 notes · View notes

theambitiouswoman · 3 months ago

Note

How does one receive in a relationship? I have trouble receiving simple things and overthink about them like if on a date and the guy chooses to pay for my meal as well. In my last relationship I realised I enjoy giving a lot but not only didn’t my partner didn’t give me much I would also insist he doesn’t have to because I feel awkward with receiving especially with gifts. I used to pay most or all the meals and he wouldn’t at this point I don’t care if he reads this lol. And I only received only 1 gift at the start of a 2 year relationship. I’m saying all this to show how I make it ok even for my partner to not give me gifts or even his time. It was so normal for him to reject multiple calls through out the day and be on a call just once a day with me. I mean my therapist was more available outside sessions than he was at times. And I asked him for money to pay for therapy with a promise I’ll return him, he kept asking multiple times for me to return that when I was just about to block him for his actions. Of course I returned but that’s not the point since then my besties have been telling me I give a lot more than I receive to the point my therapist pointed out that I am empathetic for all of their actions regardless of how it actually makes me feel.

I wish to change all of this asap although I’m aware it’ll take time. I had the time of my life not dating after my break up for a year but now I think I have a fear attached to it because I don’t want the past to repeat.

Second, in my last relationship I developed couple of insecurities, he liked me because I wasn’t fat 4yrs ago and proceeded to say things like I am afraid of you meeting my parents ever now because you don’t look as good anymore and that my mom would reject you. Mind you, I ended up gaining weight because of change in my antidepressants. He would also do things like show our older photos to his friends because he didn’t feel comfortable tarnishing his reputation with his friends that he’s dating someone fat. All this used to hurt me even before I ended things with him but like everything else I took it as a constructive criticism something I need to work on and it’s all on me that I also didn’t share this with anyone until I started feeling stuck in the relationship and felt as if no one else would love me except him because I am fat. The way I dressed and my confidence all changed and according to my therapist there’s a metaphorical way to look at this that I held these feelings inside me for so long to pretend everything is normal that it manifested in my body.

To add on I also have an autoimmune disease called crohns again it’s gastric in nature and so many diets don’t work for me … still on a journey to lose weight and I have a habit of over eating which im working on.

I know being fat or not I shouldn’t feel what I feel about myself and that losing weight with visible changes will also not change these feelings. So guide me how to work on it. Although I am in therapy working on these I these I still need some outside perspective.

Thank you :)

First of all, I just want to acknowledge how open and self reflective you're being in this message. That takes a lot of courage and strength and I really admire you for it <3

It sounds like you've been through a lot in your previous relationship, especially in terms of your feelings around receiving, boundaries, and how that influenced your sense of self. One of the key things I hear is that you're used to giving—giving love, attention, and even financial support—but you're having difficulty receiving, which is totally understandable considering what you've experienced.

Learning how to receive in a relationship is a process & it's something that a lot of people struggle with, especially when they've given so much in the past and haven't received in return. One thing I’d suggest is starting small. It could be something as simple as letting someone hold the door for you, accept a compliment, letting someone pay for a coffee without overthinking it. And it’s okay to feel a little awkward at first—it doesn’t mean you're being selfish or that you're not worthy of receiving. You deserve it. The same way you give out of love, you have to let other people give it to you.

In your past relationship, it sounds like there was a real imbalance in how much you gave compared to how much you received and that can definitely affect your confidence and how you feel about yourself. You’re so deserving of love and respect and if a partner isn’t able to offer that in return, it’s not a reflection of your worth. It's actually a sign that the dynamic wasn’t healthy for you. Maybe it helps to just accept things at face value, like a stranger doing any kind gesture for you, so you do not get wrapped up emotionally and feel like you can become blindsided or betrayed again. I think its stemming from past fear, that and/or combined with you not feeling worthy.

As for the insecurities about your appearance, I’m so sorry you were made to feel that way. No one should ever make you feel like you’re not enough or that your worth is tied to your body. No one who cares about you will treat you like that. Men have a tendency to project their own issues onto their partners, or even put the woman down so they can feel superior and in control. Shitty insecure men, that is. Seriously that guy sounds like absolute trash. I had a similar situation happen with health issues and weight when I was in my late teens so trust me, I have been there and had a similar scenario play out.

I digress

Working on body image issues, especially after hurtful comments from someone close to you, can take time, but focusing on what makes you feel good about yourself—whether that’s your personality, your strengths, or even the way you care for others—can help you reconnect with your self worth. I would use that as motivation to become someone you feel confident and proud of. Regardless nothing is more important than your health. Your body is going through a lot with Crohn’s disease and it’s important to be kind to yourself through your health journey.

I’m glad you’re in therapy and doing the hard work of understanding yourself and your emotions. But remember, you have to do the work too. And when it comes to the weight and body image stuff, I’d encourage you to lean into the idea that you are worthy of love and respect right now—not because of your appearance, but because of who you are as a whole person. Seriously, being hot and deserving is a mindset. You're doing great!!!!

24 notes · View notes

imreallyloveleee · 2 years ago

Text

for @auroraworldtourftbughead who asked about my "road trip to ohio" fic: ok so this is a s5 au that i started writing back in Feb/Mar. it picks up a few weeks after they find Polly's body, ie at the point in the show where it became extremely clear that they were just dropping the arc they'd been building for Betty & Jughead and veering off in another nonsensical direction. i really want to finish this one and correct the sins of late s5, lol. (and i just miss jughead's family!) here is a snippet from the beginning of the story:

It’s just past eight in the evening. She’s dragging the trash bins from the garage out to the sidewalk for tomorrow morning’s pickup when she sees him standing in the driveway next door, struggling to wrestle an oversized duffle bag into the storage compartment of his motorcycle.

“Jug. Hey.” She’s already halfway across the yard between their houses by the time he notices her. His eyes soften from surprise to mild concern as she approaches.

“Hey. How are you holding up?”

Betty mulls for a moment over her response. It’s a fair question to ask someone three weeks after they found their sister’s body rotting in the trunk of a rusting, broken junkyard sedan. She doesn't especially want to answer; she's just tired of coming up with ways to change the subject.

Thankfully the scene she's stumbled upon makes it easy. She gestures to the bag. "Hanging in there. What’s this?”

Jughead sighs, giving the duffel bag another half-hearted shove, to no avail. “I’m heading to Ohio for JB’s graduation.”

Recognition flickers dimly in her memory. He’d mentioned this to her weeks ago, when they were deep in investigation mode, one of probably a thousand things he’d said that had filtered in and out of her brain like water through a sieve. She’d said something like oh, my god, she’s graduating already? we’re so old! in response, and then promptly returned to obsessing over their latest clue in the hunt for the highway killer.

“But I guess the gift I got her is too big for this stupid thing –”

“You’re driving all the way to Ohio on a motorcycle?” she interrupts. “In the middle of the night? Isn’t that, like, a seven hour drive?”

He shifts his gaze away from her, towards the Andrews house, which she interprets as yes, I know this is a dumb fucking idea and no, I don’t want to talk about it.

After the last few months she's had, she can relate.

“It’s tomorrow,” he says. “I was supposed to leave yesterday, but – I kind of got distracted, with everything that’s been going on.”

Betty tries not to react to that. He must mean “everything” that’s been going on with Tabitha – her parents’ arrival in town, their burgeoning relationship. Kevin had seen them out at a restaurant together with the Tates, holding hands at the dinner table. Betty wishes they’d just make it public already, post a couple's photo on Instagram or something. It’s getting uncomfortable, pretending she doesn’t know.

He's muttering to himself, hoisting the duffel bag out of the storage compartment and onto his shoulder. "Maybe if I repack this into a backpack instead…"

“You can take my car, if you want,” she offers, and then, without allowing herself to actually consider what she’s proposing, adds, “Or…I could come with you.”

Jughead freezes, his eyes darting from her face to her car where it sits in the opposite driveway, and then back again. “Oh, no – I couldn’t ask –”

“We could tag-team the driving. And I’d love to see JB and your dad, and…everyone.” She doesn’t actually know if Gladys is still in the picture or not. “To be honest, I – I really need to get out of this house for a few days.”

She knows how she sounds: desperate. But she also knows that if anyone in her life can come anywhere close to understanding what this is like – what it means to be the child of a parent who is a walking, weeping open wound, a gaping hole of need that cannot possibly be filled – it’s Jughead.

(And she feels guilty for thinking of her grieving mother in those terms, she really does, but the truth is she’s suffocating. Put on your own oxygen mask first, Dr. Glass told her all those years ago. It was just about the only useful thing he'd imparted to her in a cumulative sixteen hours of therapy, other than a prescription for Adderall.)

“At least take the car,” she insists. “You can’t even fit your stuff in here.”

Jughead’s lips press together. His eyes flit back towards the house again – only the garage light is on, which is where he’s been staying. “You’re sure you want to sit in a car with me for seven hours? I’ve got terrible taste in music.”

Her face breaks out into a tremulous smile. It feels weird, but good – the first uncontrolled display of emotion she’s had in weeks that wasn’t borne of despair.

“I’m sure.”

#bughead #bughead fic #fic #my fic #riverdale #riverdale fic #i have shared a few paragraphs from this before...a section that makes it clear jug is not actually dating tabitha lol

27 notes · View notes

valkyrievanessa · 2 years ago

Text

ok, so let's talk about Yuri Kuma Arashi, the manga version, i watched the first ep of the anime years ago, didn't understand a shit and stopped, i read the manga and i have plans to watch the anime itself... so, the manga broke my heart in a way i could not believe it was possible, wtf is this manga?! like, it have some weird things, but the story is fucking perfect (and tragic). This will have spoilers, big spoilers, if you don't like spoilers and enjoy Yuri, go read the manga, is short, can be read in a day and is perfect.

so, our protagonists, the main couple, Kureha and Ginko, they are the cutest couple ever, born to be a couple, their love is so cute and perfect, i want to huge both, specially Ginko, this girl needs therapy, a lot, she is just a baby bear that needs a hug.

like, Ginko have this whole psicological trauma because she killed someone by accident when she was a kid, and it was the mother of the girl she fucking loved, and the great love of her mother's life.

and the whole bear thing at least in the manga, is not real, it is something that exist only in Ginko and Kale (Ginko's mother) minds, it was something that Kale had, because she felt different from anyone else, she believed when she was a child, after she became 17, she would become a bear, never happened of course, so she started to believe that everyone is a bear, including her, but they are pretending to be human, Ginko being raised by someone like that also got it from her mom, so the whole bear thing? only in the mind (sometimes people will use the bear costumes). The only person Ginko see as a human is the girl she loves, Kureha, it was the same thing for kale, the only person she saw as a human was Kureha's mother, Reia

Like, maybe Kale started all this thing with bears because she was a lesbian and felt different from everyone, or not, it was my theory (that kinda falls apart, but it is something) and after she met Reia, things changed to her, it was the only person Kale acknowledges as a human, it was the love of her fucking life, she wanted to marry with Reia, she would do everything for her... and Reia married a guy that she liked, she didn't love the guy, she met him, had a summer love with him and decided to marry the guy just because. She acknowledge that it was a mistake after the marriage, because she noticed that she was in fact, in love with Kale (it was kinda too late, that single act destroyed Kale's life).

She kinda thought that the girl was straight, but ignored the possibility that Reia could be Bi and did something stupid, because Reia would had accepted the proposal. How Reia died was an accident, kinda. When Ginko and Kureha was children, Kureha got lost in the forest that had a lot of bears, Ginko decided to go help the girl, stole Reia's gun and went to find Kureha, when Reia find boths she makes so much noise that Ginko without knowing shoots and kills Reia, causing a giant trauma on Kureha, on herself, on Kale and on her aunt that was also in love with Reia, so... yeah, this manga talks a lot about trauma, like a lot. (Kale actually started to say that she killed Reia and devoured her like a bear).

This manga talks a lot about grief, the whole Kale's arc is about that, Lulu's arc too (her past made me want to die of sadness, like, wtf?!!), Yurika's arc too, she loved Reia, but after she died she started to fuck her brother's wife (Kale), i mean, both already had something before, but their relationship got a lot messier after. And Lulu? one of my favourite characters, she is in love with Ginko since she was a child, but their relationship started because she could not handle the grief and guilty of her little brothers death, it was an accident, but she felt guilty, because she was the responsible for him, so she kinda made Ginko her world after that. (she misses him so much that she have a teddy bear named after him and she takes care of it like it was him)

Lulu is so precious that i want to protect her from everything. Sumika is another favorite of mine, she does a lot, but as someone that helps Kureha to save Ginko, she helps everyone, all because she loves Kureha, she say to kureha that she loves her, but want to be a friend and... ouch, like, ouch. Just Imagine, you love this person, you love them so much that you would do everything for them to be happy... but this happyness will not be with you, and you know that since the beggining, that's Sumika in the manga, she helps Kureha a lot, part of the motive everything went well was because of her, and in the end she wanted to really have magic powers like people was saying about her, because that way she could make Kureha love her, it was really sad.

And the protagonist, Kureha, did everything she could to not only discover how her mother died, but did everything she could to save the girl she loved (Ginko was so depressed that i started to fear for her life), Kureha is an amazing character too, like, i probably love all the characters from this manga.

well, that's it, talked about everything i wanted about this manga, i reccomend, cannot say the same about the anime, not because the anime is bad, it is because it's 2 different stories, with 2 different objectives, i will watch the anime, maybe tomorrow.

9 notes · View notes

occult-roommates · 2 years ago

Text

Honestly, might be for the best...

Following the scandalous reveal of Delfina Baradoz, Dawud went to visit Matteo. Like, to him, it changed nothing about his life, except that Daniele was gonna be sad for a couple day. However, well, you know...the universe had another plan. It all started when he made the mistake of bringing up Delfina.

Matteo: Fucking hate her. Ooooh look at me, I suffered cause I'm human. Fuck off, I wish I was human. Dawud: Ok but her parents pretended she was dead cause she's human. Matteo: Exactly, the entire spellcasting world is rotten and corrupted. That is why I hate being one. Dawud: I'll be real with you, Matt, but the fact you seem to always find a way to sneak into the conversation how much you hate being a spellcaster is starting to be really fucking annoying. Matteo: But this time it's relevant to the conversation so you can't really complain. Hell, you're the one who brought it up. Dawud: Ok but like, it's really weird. Matteo: I'm not the only one, this entire society is absolutely awful, but nobody cares. And magic can attack your body, it can turn you blind, give you migraine, it frequently stunts growth which is why spellcasters tend to be shorter. Fuck it all, and fuck that guy who suddenly became a spellcaster and claim he always wanted to be one, like sure bud, you totally did. Dawud: ...Why did you had to bring up uh...Adem I think his name is? Matteo: Because I hate how he's happy with being something I wish I wasn't! Do I have to spell everything out for you??

Well, Dawud was regretting bringing up the subject. Then again, what was he even thinking...

Matteo: Anyway, you cannot understand, you're just a human. And just like most human, you probably don't like occults to a degree. You think I forgot how you handled my cousin's rejection years ago? Dawud: Do not bring that up! I did not mean it. Matteo: Of course, people never mean it...And I bet you're only with me cause you see me as a replacement for Dan. Dawud: That's not true!

Was it though? I mean, Dawud wouldn't admit it. Matteo is fairly different from Daniele. They don't look alike that much and have very distinct personality. They're complete opposite when it come to their magic, at this point no explanation as to why is needed. But like, maybe on a subconscious level it was the case. Maybe Dawud does see Matteo as nothing more than a substitute for Daniele.

In a way, he must admit it was a bit like Charlie. Sure, he wasn't fully in love with him, but as Haddaway once said "what is love"? It's not like he doesn't know how it feels like, he definitely had a thing for Daniele he had never felt for another person before. Sure he could make this work and eventually fall for Matteo. However, it seems like that once again, just like Charlie, it wasn't going to happen. This is gonna sound awful, but for all of his problem in his adult life, at least he's in a relationship you know, so he's not a complete loser.

However, at that point, not only is he sure he doesn't love him, he doesn't think he even like him. The two barely knew each other before they kissed in a bar back in February.

Dawud: Alright then, it's over. Matteo: Wait no, I didn't mean it. Dawud: Of course, people never mean it...

Well, that was once again, an impulse. This time though, it might be better this way. Might as well hit the brick before their relationship actually turns to shit, which it seems like might just be a matter of time if Dawud was only dating Matteo for the sake of dating someone. Even if he wouldn't admit to himself it was because he couldn't get Daniele, the fact is, to some degree it kinda is. So of course this will make stuff go sour one day or another. For the sake of Matteo, might as well call it quit now.

Prev - Next

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 simblr #sims 4 story #ts4 story #occult roommates #dawud sahan #matteo rossini #OcRo s2 #long post

5 notes · View notes

thatweirdafbeing · 10 months ago

Text

I don’t think 16 year old me would be proud of where I am today. Honestly, she wouldn’t understand many of the decisions we’ve made.

I mean, why would we leave the only person who ever promised us so much love? Yeah, he isn’t easy, but neither are we. Haven’t I learn that years ago? Everyone says he has so much patience with me, patience that they never had!

So she showed him patience as well. She knew, back then, that love is not easy, especially not for people like them. And she wanted to be all that he said she was, in the beginning: his ray of sunshine, the only good thing in his life, his life savior. Anything he needed. As long as we could say it was love, no one could say otherwise.

On the other hand, maybe 17 year old me would be proud. Maybe not. After all, she took the decision, of breaking up. But she regretted it. The moment people said he’d hit rock bottom, the day his mother called, late at night asking if I knew where he was, if he gave me any news… But specially the day she found out he already had another.

We new we couldn’t last much longer with him. When we snapped, it was either breaking up or seriously harming ourselves, or him. Still, we worried everyday afterwards: what if he did something stupid, on porpoise or not? What if they blame me again? What if we actually could had saved him? It only lasted a couple of weeks, though.

And he moved on, immediately. And it was, at the end, all for nothing. They loved, cared for, and forgave him, and never received anything in return, not even peace or closure.

18 was a blur. It’s hard to say what she would think of today, she just wanted everything to end. Didn’t really mattered how. 16, 17 thought about ending all, too, but hey, we had to stick around, for him. He was always worse than me right, emotionally. We were all he had… Until we weren’t. We were all we had. And it wasn’t enough.

We weren’t very present, for most of the time. Best to just put on some distraction and check out while pretending to watch it. We tried to appear fine, cause we knew momma told us so, we didn’t need to hear it. We felt pathetic enough to have believed it would pay out if we just endure it. Back at 16 a lot of people definitely believed we could change him. Or so they said so. But at 18, in 2019, we saw how the world viewed girls like us.

From 19 to 22 there was a lot of fear of the future, come to think about it now. Way more than hope. Fear of Covid. Fear of the oh so many crises happening, right when it was time to be an adult and deal with all that on our own. But when have we not been on our own right? Well, now. There was a new boyfriend, and along with him the fear of him also turning out to be abusive. Then the fear of being too much for him.

Past 18, all of the old mes would be proud of 23 years old me, for the most parts. Maybe they would rather not have to hold back tears when talking about 16 year old us. Maybe they don’t approve our therapist calling us victims. But that’s ok, I’m not ready to call myself that either.

Yeah, I don’t think all those past mes would be proud of were we are, because it’s not where none of us thought we would be. But, God, I’m so happy we’re not where we used to be. And for that, I’m proud of all them, if for anything, for having stuck around.

#thatbeingwrites #writing #vent post #vent core

0 notes

lvlyhao · 3 years ago

Text

『MTL likely to expose your relationship』

MTL scenario, NCT DREAM

a/n: hi, no one asked for this, I just did it anyway, enjoy it <3

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: CRACK (⍢)??

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: idk man, I think none, but I do swear a lot so

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © lvlyhao 2022.

----------

MOST chenle, mark, haechan, jaemin/jeno, renjun, jisung LEAST

Chenle

ok hear me out

it’s not like he wanted to expose the two of you on a v-live

it’s just that he doesn’t think things through enough to stop it from happening lmao

chenle is BLUNT

and he’s not too interested in keeping his idol image clean

+ he really hates the way his company wants them to play into the whole girlfriend thing with the fans

cus it really is weird, we all know it

so i reckon it’d happen while reading comments

someone would say like “chenle please marry me oppa ” and he’d go

“lol no i’m already taken”

renjun, who was with him for the live, looks horrified for about 2 seconds before breaking into a song to distract everyone

(didn’t really work but +10 points for trying)

feels bad bc he didn’t want to out the relationship without your consent but he’s more focused on handling it well, now that it’s already happened

Mark

ok i feel bad for him in this scenario

mark would try really hard to keep everything about your relationship in private, cus he doesn’t want anything to come between you right

having said that, he’s also v v whipped

and when it comes to you, he,,, loses it a bit

and unlike chenle, who registers what he said after a couple seconds, he’d be blissfully unaware about it

until after the live is over and his managers are freaking out lol

and it would all happen over the dumbest thing

he’d be with doyoung and johnny, just chilling, when he picks up his phone at the exact moment you text him

and he’d punch johnny’s shoulder and be like “YO y/n just sent me the funniest dog picture dude”

and god bless doyoung, who went “huh? jeno? HAHAHAHA YEAH jeno has such good,,,, dog pictures”

“no but i didn’t say jeno i said—”

and then johnny started talking, making up some random story about jeno to pretend nothing was out of control <3

Haechan

lol

honestly he’d blame all of this on poor mark

cus the mark incident happened and he’d make fun of him for like 4 weeks for outing the relationship

and he’d get WAY too confident about keeping yours a secret

aka he screwed up bc he was pretty sure he couldn’t possibly screw up

was doing a live with taeil and taeil would innocently ask about the bracelet he was wearing, having NO IDEA it was a couple thing

and this dumbass would tell him how he got it at swarovski a few days ago to match with <3<3someone<3<3

if you look very closely, you can see taeil’s soul leaving his body right here

hyuck’s 2 brain cells were collapsing

and there was just this awful, awkward silence for some moments before he just

“YEAH ANYWAY everyone, we have to end the v-live here—”

probably cried in his bed that night

Jaemin/Jeno

i put them together bc i think the chances of either of them outing their relationships are very, very low

but never 0

if it happened at all, it probably wouldn’t be the same way as the others

they wouldn’t talk about you

for jeno, i think it would be a 7dream live to promote their latest comeback and it would all be going so so so well

until you walk by the room they’re in to get some water or whatever

and jeno is just

staring so fucking much lmaaaao

like his eyes follow you there and back and his expression is just :]

then someone slaps his knees like “boy tf you doing” and he’s back into it

but of course the fans took notice of it and connected it to something prior, like a new ring he had been wearing these days

and then it’s done lol poor dude

i pity jaemin even more

it was just the wrong timing and wrong place

he’d be live with jisung, sitting on the couch with his phone on the coffee table in front of them

and god

the one time he doesn’t put the screen down

you call, getting out of work or classes or smth

and everyone can see painfully clear that the contact name is “cutie pie ”

honestly i think the fans as a whole would brush it off with something like “ah thats probably jeno”

if jisung hadn’t looked so absolutely terrified

his face in an utter panic said everything

Renjun

renjun is another member i’m 100% sure would never expose the relationship himself

he just wouldn’t

he does his best to never get anywhere NEAR any subjects that would point towards you

and just avoid anything that includes you altogether while he’s working

so having said that, another member would expose it lmao

i’m thinking maybe someone from china line, like yangyang

cus we all saw that time yangyang nearly sang WAP during a live right

he has no filter

and very little fear of consequences

so yeah, i say it’s him

they’d be doing a live over at wayv’s dorms and yangyang would accidentally tell a story involving you lol

renjun would shut him up pretty quickly but the damage is done

and i’m not saying renjun would try to strangle yangyang for it but that’s exactly what i’m saying

rip yangster

Jisung

so proud of having him in the last place <3

you’d probably be his first serious relationship or one of the firsts

and he’d just never never never never want to mess it up in any way

he has way too much fear of losing/hurting you

so you can bet your ass he is not letting it happen

not now, not ever

he’s really not much of a serious or level-headed person in general but if it concerns you, he is NOT! HAVING! IT!!!

i swear if he hears the first syllable of your name he is shutting everyone up, ending the live and getting his bags to move with you to peru

he just

never spills it and makes sure no one else does it either

the end

#nct dream #nct dream mtl #nct dream reaction #mark lee #renjun #lee jeno #na jaemin #haechan #nct jisung #chenle #cherry writes

204 notes · View notes

adveturousend · 2 years ago

Text

Tonight is your lucky night,ma'am

pairing : Hangman x reader, a*hole bf x reader

Summary: a bad night turns into a lucky one

"This is not the way it's supposed to be" - these words were ringing inside your head constantly for the last 3 days. 3 days ago you were hapilly getting off your plane to FINALLY meet up with your boyfriend,Roy. Tall,handsome ,charming Roy. Caring, loving, insanely hot Roy. Head over hills , cross my heart and hope to die,love of your life Roy.

3 days ago you wouldn't hesitate for a second to leave your good life in Europe and become domesticated wifey if he'd ask you to. 3 days ago you would move to a cabin in the woods or a freaking cave if he'd asked you to. You would do absolutely and totally everything just to be with him. But this was 3 days ago. 3 damn days change your perspective entirely.Now, all you could think of is how stupid and naive you are. How blind you are. What a damn idiot you are. What a sad and insecure person you've become. Since you saw him on the airport you knew something wasn't right. He kissed you with his eyes open, he didnt even take your luggage on his own will,you literally put it in his hand by yourself. Not really subtle,but ok. When you had sex first time in 6 months ,it was quick and not really passionate. He seemed annoyed all the time . You wanted him to show you some of the beautiful sunny San Diego, but he wasnt willing to. He didn't even took a day off work just to be with you. It all was jus't not right. Alarms were ringing in your head but being a polite,well mannered girl ,you stayed silent. You clearly saw that he was not the same person you thought you knew ,which caught you by surprise. When you met for the first time roughly 8 months ago, he was a perfect match . 10/10. He litterally swoop you out of your feet. Dinner dates , long phone calls, flowers, chocolates ,romantic walks,gazing into your eyes, great sex, fun and outgoing- everything you ever wanted in a man...yeah well,you thought that until 3 fucking days ago.

"Let's go back ,its freezing and it's getting late" -a harsh voice snapped you back to reality and put an end to your intrusive thoughts. Well, just put them on hold ,to be more precise. You looked up to meet Roy's eyes - dark and unfeeling. If you weren't feeling cold before , the look he gave you sent shiver down your spine. Or maybe it was an ocean breeze. Or maybe both. "Let's stay just a couple minutes more?" you asked quietly . " Sky is gorgeous tonight" you added. He just scoffed and said " you can stay here all night if you want to but I am your ride and I am going ,bye" - Roy started walking away from you. You couldn't believe what you heard . And what you saw. Your bf was literally leaving you alone here!! "Hey,Roy! What are you doing??!!" You cried after him ,but he didn't respond,just kept walking. So you stood up and started running after him. Once you got to him you grabed his arm and yelled "Seriously???" You leaving me here alone? What the hell is wrong with you?!!?

His eyes were even more cold than before ,he gritted his teeth and literally hissed " I am sick and tired of entertaining your ass. All you do is holding onto me like you cannot fucking do anything without me! Since you flew in here all I do is babysit you, gimme a break woman!" With every spoken word his voice was raising and made you feel even more small than you already did. You stared at him with wide eyes and all you could say was quiet " but I came here for you... because of you, you wanted me to finally ..." "well maybe you shouldn't come,maybe I shouldn't string you along"- he cut you off. "What?" you almost choked . "What are you.." - you fight with tears that are coming ,damn,these stupid eyes of yours in the wet place ,always crying so easily. "Y/n, I cant pretend anymore. I dont want you,not anymore,6 months apart is a lot and things changed, just leave me alone" - he said and walked away leaving you alone , on the beach ,in the middle of the night, in a foreign country. He broke up with you,just like that. On the beach,in the middle of the night. IN THE FOREIGN COUNTRY. You stood there in shock. Eyes wet ,but your mind and body freezed. You seemed to not really know how to process what have just happenned. It was like a bad dream. So you just stood there, looking into the abbyss of the ocean , feeling cold breeze chilling through your bones.You haven't even registered when you started walking. You walked and walked and walked. Mindlessly. For hours.For eternity,that's what it felt like. You were slowly coming into your senses when you heard noises.Sounded like music,so you turned your head in this direction and saw faint lights in the distance. "People" you thought. "I need people right now". That was your focus right now. To not be alone. To get back safely to your hotel. Broken heart can wait. Well,it will catch up to you if you want it or not. But now, basic instinct was kicking in - just be safe. You wiped your tears, straighten your back and put on a brave face as you walked on to the door of what looked like a bar full of people you so desperately needed right now. A little drink wouldnt kill you too. You went in, awkwardly smiling and met a gaze and a smile from a very pretty lady behind the bar. You went straight to her "hey,what can I get you?" The woman asked "Hi, um whiskey on the rocks please" "I'm on it" she winked at you and started preparing your drink. All of a sudden you felt someone right beside you leaned on the bar. You looked up and saw a very handsome face and a pair of green eyes boring into you. "Penny,sweatheart ,4 more beers please" . Handsome face spoke never breaking the eye contact with you. "Just a sec ,Hangman, ladies first " said the bartender as she put your drink in front of you and smiled warmly at you. You smiled back and thanked her, pick the glass up and gulped it like water. You hissed as the alcohol burned your throat but it felt good in a way.Liberating.

"Whoa,easy ma'am! That kind od drinking gets you in trouble!" Handsome face spoke again ,this time directly to you flashing it's pearly whites in a wide smile. "I'm already in trouble so oh well I guess" you responded. His smile got even more wider and he said in a lower ,more raspy voice "Soo,do you need a rescue?" As he said it,he shifted his arms and for a brief second he touched you. His warm skin brushed against your icy cold one. You didn't know if it was just beacause he was hot,like,literally, and you were chilled to the bone or maybe it was just adrenaline washing down or maybe whiskey was doing it's job but sudden closeness of this random guy in the bar gave you some comfort. Something you needed badly right now. "I do ,actually" you heard your own voice coming out of your mouth and before you could react and take it back ,the Handsome face got a bit closer to you and said "Tonight is your lucky night,ma'am"

To be continued

#hangman x y/n #hangman x you #jake hangman x reader #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction

13 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

Passive aggressive (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes!

Warnings: Cursing, a little angst, a lot of fluff. Spencer being an asshole.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Category: A little angst with a fluffy ending.

Summary: Spencer and his girlfriend don't know if they will survive their first fight.

Word count: 3.5 K

A/N: Hello my favorite people!! how are you doing? hope you are all safe! here's a little "angsty" request. I had to pick between Gubler and Spencer, but I think Spencer suits better for this request. Hope you like it!

Masterlist

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

When (Y/N) fell in love with Spencer Reid, she couldn't think of anything wrong about him. Sure, she knew the man had flaws, but honestly, none of those actually bothered her. Not his rambling, not his lack of social cues. Neither his previous trauma nor how he kept moving his hands as he spoke, and how it gradually increased when the subject was about something he loved.

She liked all those things about him.

Spencer ignored all the flaws people pointed out about (Y/N), 'cos he was in love with her. He didn't care that she had a hard time sharing her feelings and that he had to basically profile her to get to know what was, in fact, going on with her. He didn't care that she was a little bossy from time to time, 'cos he loved making her happy.

All those things he could deal with, 'cos he loved everything about her.

But people don't warn you when you are dating for a long while. All those little things that don't matter can turn into a bunch of flaws that start driving you nuts. And after eight-month dating, their perfect honeymoon was over. Spencer Reid and his girlfriend were about to get into their first official fight.

No one prepared them for it.

- "Spencer? Can you help me, please?"- (Y/N) was in his room, folding bed sheets and towels.

- "In a minute!"- Spencer replied and didn't take his eyes from the book he was reading.

- "You said that twenty minutes ago"- (Y/N) frowned and dropped the clean sheets on their bed- "Please, Spencer. I'm tired, and I wanna go to bed. I'd finish folding the clean clothes if you helped me."

- "In a minute."- Spencer repeated and didn't even pay much attention to his girlfriend's annoyed tone of voice until it was too late. She was standing right next to her in the living room.

- "Spencer! Please! Fucking help me now!"- he raised both eyebrows and stared back at her, her cheeks red in anger and her hands clenched into fists.

- "Why are you talking to me like that? I haven't raised my voice to you."

- "'Cos I'm fucking tired, and you've been relaxing here for over an hour, while I do everything in the house, and you don't cooperate!"

- "Excuse me?"- Spencer stood up and took a look around- "Who cooked dinner?"

- "You did! and did you do the dishes? And cleaned the kitchen afterward? 'cos as far as I remember seeing it, it's still a mess!"

- "I'm gonna do it in a minute!"

- "No, you won't! You always do this! You make a big mess, pretend you'll clean it in a minute, and then you just leave it there until I do it!"- Spencer frowned and looked at (Y/N)'s angry face.

- "No, I don't! If anything! I am the one cleaning all the messes you leave around here all the time!"

- "What?!"- (Y/N) shriek, feeling almost insulted- "Which messes are you talking about?"

- "Top of my mind, all the hair you left in the shower! It was fucking disgusting!"

- "What?!"

- "If maybe you used all the freaking bobby pins you keep leaving everywhere, maybe the shower drain wouldn't get blocked!"

- "I didn't block the drain!"

- "And by the way, I told you I was going to help you with laundry. You didn't wait for me to it with you."

- "If I wait for you to help me, I'll run out of clean clothe, and I'll have nothing to wear tomorrow for work."

- "You do have a lot of clean clothing at your apartment! Maybe if you spent some time there, you'd see it. But you are always here!"

(Y/N)'s heart dropped. Since they had started dating eight months ago, they had spent most of their time in Spencer's apartment. She never overanalyzed it. They just did. (Y/N) loved Spencer's apartment 'cos it felt like home, and he always made her feel welcome.

Clearly, Spencer didn't feel the same. Not anymore, at least.

- "Sorry for intruding on your space, Spencer. I just thought you liked having me here!"- (Y/N) whispered with anger, trying not to cry, as she gathered all her things and put on her shoes.

- "I love having you here, but it's my house, and I don't appreciate you bossing me around, telling me what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, all the fucking time!"

Spencer kind of yelled, still mad, and not seeing the painful look in his girlfriend's eyes.

- "Well, enjoy your space. I won't tell you what to do anymore!"- and after those words, (Y/N) stormed out of the apartment, and Spencer sighed, staring at the empty space around him.

How did things get so out of hand? He had no idea. He didn't mean to hurt her, but the truth was that she was smothering him with all the nagging about the housework she kept doing. He didn't want her to do all the chores alone. He just had his own way of doing things, and he hated the fact she was imposing hers.

Could it have been said in a better way?

Yes. But Spencer didn't see that at that minute. He didn't realize how much he had hurt her. Why? Spencer didn't mean wrong, but he had no idea how hurtful his words could be when he was angry. And that night, Spencer was beyond angry.

Now, what's worse than having your first awful fight with your boyfriend? Having your first fight with your boyfriend, seeing him the day after at work, and having to act like everything is ok, 'cos you gave Hotch, your unit chief, your word your relationship wasn't going to get in the way of your work.

Bullshit! Of course, it was going to get in the way. Hotch knew it, (Y/N) Knew it, Spencer knew it. But the three of them pretended they had no idea what was going to happen.

Hotch thought Spencer and (Y/N) were going to be a mature young couple, 'cos he could see how much they loved each other. They had been in love with each other for so long before actually doing something about their feelings. Hotch thought they were never going to have any kind of trouble or argument.

He was so wrong it hurt.

The following morning, (Y/N) walked into the bullpen holding a black cup of coffee and headed straight to her desk. She waved at Emily and JJ and sighed, relieved, when she noticed Spencer was in the kitchenette with Morgan. That gave her the chance to casually ignore him and wait a little before dealing with him.

The truth was, (Y/N) was scared after their fight. She had known Spencer for over seven years, and she knew he had been honest about everything he had told her the night before. Everything. Sure, he yelled and hurt her. He didn't sugar-coat anything when he was mad. But he wasn't lying, and that was scary.

(Y/N) also knew Spencer was very passive-aggressive when he was upset. That was why she knew she had to be the bigger person and avoid him as much as possible while they were at work. Because, whatever she could say about the subject, or related, was going to trigger Spencer.

She remembered when Spencer got mad at JJ when he found out Emily wasn't dead. Spencer was hurtful when he was angry, and you don't want to be the target of his anger.

Spencer reached his desk and noticed his girlfriend was sitting all alone, practically hiding underneath a pile of files. His heart ached, staring at her for a second, fighting back the impulse of walking over and kissing her.

How long since he had kissed her? 14 hours, 17 minutes, 22 seconds. And counting.

But no. Spencer wanted to make a point, and he was still mad. He didn't want to cave in and lose that argument. Yes, it was their first fight, but he wanted to make a point. He didn't want her to boss him around in his own place and change his schedules. He had his own way of doing things. Like Paula Anka and Sinatra said: I did it my way.

Spencer had no idea, but his silence was slowly breaking (Y/N)'s heart more and more. She looked at him for a second, but he paid her no attention. Maybe it was better that way, she thought. She could focus on all the work she had to do.

But no. Of course, it didn't help.

When Penelope walked over and announced they had a case, half the team had already realized there was something wrong with their love bird. Spencer hadn't walked over (Y/N) with her favorite pastry soon after her arrival. She hadn't kissed him good morning. He hadn't spent half of the time staring at her from his desk. If anything, they had been ignoring each other most of the day.

Emily, JJ, and Derek looked at each other when (Y/N) stood up and walked alone to the conference room. Spencer didn't follow, didn't hold her hand. Didn't even look at her. He just gathered his things, put them in his satchel, and waited for a few minutes before standing up, just to make sure he wasn't alone in the room with (Y/N).

It was crystal clear: things were not going right.

Spencer ignored (Y/N) during the briefing at the jet, and he was relieved Hotch had paired him with Emily. (Y/N) focused on the case, and she was also glad she didn't have to see Reid during part of the day. She had to go to the last murder scene with Derek. It was sad and disturbing, but directing her attention to the case gave her a break and even some peace of mind.

- "What happened between you and pretty Ricky?"- Morgan was driving the SUV, and (Y/N) kept her eyes glued to the window.

- "We had a little argue"- she whispered- "Thank you for making me realize we are not subtle."

- "You are not glued to each other. That's weird. I haven't seen you two apart since you joined the BAU."- Derek chuckled and looked at (Y/N). Her arms were crossed on her chest, and her eyes were teary.

- "Wait, pretty girl. It was just a silly argument, right?"- Derek didn't even consider the couple could break up. Ever. For Derek, his best friend and his girlfriend were it for each other.

- "I don't know. I know I have to give Spencer a little space to cool off, but the more I think about it, the worst it feels."

- "But, (Y/N). He loves you. You can't let that go."- she cut him a short smile and nodded.

- "I love him too. Sometimes you wonder if that's enough, though. Maybe it was better for us when we were platonic."

- "You can't be serious"- Morgan frowned, and (Y/N) just shrugged- "Spencer is crazy for you. No matter what he said, he loves you."

Morgan was right. Spencer loved (Y/N) more than he loved himself. But he wasn't ready to let that one argument go just yet. Besides, the doctor focused on work that week. That case occupied 99% of his mind during the next couple of days.

(Y/N) knew that's how he usually worked. And the frustration that the case caused them, plus the anger he still felt after their fight, didn't make a good person out of Spencer. If anything, he was looking for a reason to start an argument with pretty much everyone, especially with (Y/N).

- "We have to consider this unsub is not acting on a fantasy. He is looking for revenge, and he is escalating quickly."- Hotch said, going over the files again.

- "But if the murderer spends time with them in their houses and kills them with something they own, something that actually means something for them, I think we might be looking for a woman. This is too personal, and at the same time, it feels domestic"- (Y/N) analyzed, staring at the latest murderer's scene pictures.

- "Perhaps the Freds didn't help her fold the clean sheets."- Spencer whispered and shook his head. (Y/N) held her breath and stood up. She had to move away from Spencer to avoid answering that kind of comment.

Unlucky for her, Spencer wasn't close to being done. And for the rest of the night, he whispered hurtful comments and kept breaking her heart over and over again. (Y/N) knew Spencer was mad, but she didn't imagine how much. Maybe she had pushed him too hard. What if that was it? If that fight meant the end for them? She was actually scared to ask.

After catching the murderer and solving the case, (Y/N) sat on her own on the jet back home, hugging her legs on her seat. Emily looked at her from behind her book and decided her friend needed some love. She poured a cup of earl grey and walked to her with a warm smile.

- "You are my hero, Emily Prentiss."- (Y/N) whispered and held her cup.

- "Well, it comes with the job. I can read it all over your face: you need tea, a warm bath, and fix things with Reid."

(Y/N) closed her eyes and sighed. Spencer was at the other side of the jet, asleep. Or well, pretending to be asleep just to avoid talking to her. She knew it, and it didn't make her feel better at all.

- "I don't know what happened, Em. But I think this might be it" Prentiss wide opened her eyes at those words and held (Y/N)'s hand right away.

- "No way. He is crazy for you."

- "Yeah, it's funny 'cos Morgan said the same a few days ago. But after this week, I think I actually drive him crazy in a sick bad smothering way. I really think I fucked things up"- (Y/N) was fighting the tears back and looked over the window to avoid human contact, though Emily still held her hand.

- "(Y/N), you have to talk to him. He loves you. He is not good with social cues and facing people. You know that."

- "Yeah, I know. But I thought it was going to be different with me. It's me, it's him. This was supposed to work easily. I guess I was wrong".

- "Nothing worth doing comes easy, (Y/N)"- Prentiss whispered and squeezed her friend's hand- "Don't give up on Spence."

(Y/N) didn't want to give up. But she was scared Spencer had already decided. It looked that way after his cold and mean attitude those days. When the jet landed, she tried to walk to him and talk, but he avoided her and just left.

(Y/N) walked to her car and sat behind the steering wheel. Finally, alone after a rough couple of days, she burst into tears. She was scared and frustrated, and most of all, anxious to know what was going to happen. That was a terrible mix of feelings.

She knew that she didn't want to push Spencer to continue a relationship that might make him miserable. That's why, after taking a few minutes to calm herself down, she texted him.

- "I'm sorry things got till this point. I didn't mean to make you feel so bad. I understand if you want to break up. I'll pick up my things tomorrow."

Spencer felt his cellphone hum as he walked into his apartment, holding a box of tandoori chicken. He thought for a second it might be Hotch with another case, and sighed annoyed just at the thought of missing the chance to relax on his own again.

But when he read it, it was actually worse.

He left the food on the table and read the text over and over again.

What had he done? Why did (Y/N) think he wanted to break up with her? That wasn't his plan at all. He just wanted to prove a point. Not end with their relationship.

Did he push things too far?

Did he act like an asshole?

Did he ruin everything?

Spencer stared at his apartment, and his heart ached. He didn't care if (Y/N) changed everything around. He just wanted her there, with him. Always. He could do laundry whenever she wanted to. He could fold sheets whenever she asked him to. He could be as domestic as she wanted him to be if that meant that she would stay with him.

(Y/N) drove back home. She thought about getting something for dinner, but honestly, all she wanted was to get into her bed and try to sleep. Spencer didn't reply to her text, which somehow surprised her. A part of her was waiting for him to tell her he didn't want to break up. But that silence was the confirmation she didn't want to have: it was over.

The young agent did her best to remain calm as she drove back home. She didn't want to cry. She could listen to Spencer's voice at the back of her head giving her some statistics about people crushing their cars when they drove under emotional distress.

(Y/N) made it to her building, parked the car, and literally dragged herself upstairs. She was about to reach her apartment when she saw him. Spencer Reid, waiting for her, sitting on the floor, his back resting against her door. She froze for a few seconds, looking at him, confused. He stared back at her and held his breath. Her eyes were puffy and red, her face was pale, and yet, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on.

- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry."- Spencer whispered and stood up. He walked to her and held her hands. She didn't follow, so she stayed in silence. Spencer lifted her hands until they reached his face and caressed himself with them carefully for a few seconds, tears falling from his eyes.

- "I'm so sorry, I was an asshole."- he murmured and kissed her hands over and over again as he sobbed.

- "Spencer..."- she whispered and stared at him confused- "I'm sorry."

- "No, I am. I was mean to you, and you didn't deserve it. You have to know how much I love you. How deeply in love I am with you. I love spending all my time with you. I don't want you to live twelve and a half blocks away from my apartment. I want you there all the time. Or I can be here all the time. I just... don't want to lose you."

- "I don't wanna lose you either"- (Y/N) managed to say- "I'm sorry I was so bossy and that I invaded your space."

- "No, I'm sorry I was an asshole and so passive-aggressive with you. I love you. I promise I will never act like that again"- Spencer hugged her and hid his face on the crook of her neck. (Y/N) hugged him too and breathed in his smell, feeling at home right away.

- "I missed you so much"- Spencer held her face with both hands and kissed her sweetly, rubbing his lips against her with such love and tenderness, (Y/N) felt her heart skipping a beat.

- "I missed you more"- she sighed into the kiss and held him closer.

- "I swear, I'm never going to hurt you again, buttercup."

- "I'm not going to nag you again. I don't care if you don't fold sheets, chipmunk"- (Y/N) smiled and rested her forehead against his for a moment.

- "You are doomed, (Y/N), 'cos I'm gonna do whatever you ask me to do from now on."- Spencer leaned in and kissed her again, feeling her smiling against his lips.

- "I just want you to be happy with me, Spencer"- she murmured- "I never want to make you feel like I'm invading your space or being bossy."

- "Then move in with me"- he said and smiled like a mad man- "I don't want it to be my apartment anymore. I want it to be ours. Let's find a place for the both of us, so we can make it our home."

(Y/N) stared into Spencer's eyes, and all she could read was his excitement and adoration. So she giggled and nodded.

- "Yes! I wanna have a home with you!"- she answered and nearly started jumping- "Come on, let's go inside so we can start looking for a new apartment. Or a house!"- her excitement was contagious, and it made SPencer chuckle.

- "Or we can have make-up sex first,"- he suggested, and (Y/N) dropped the keys she was holding. "Did you know when we argue, post-powerful hormones are released? The rush of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and testosterone triggers a state of extreme arousal. The perception of threat combined with the influence of the hormones on our brains is what takes us from seething with anger to seething with desire..."

- "I love it when you talk dirty to me, Spencer Walter Reid"- (Y/N) opened the door, and the couple rushed in. They hated to argue, but at least something god had come out of it.

------

Spencer Taglist

@calm-and-doctor @all-tings-diego

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fluff #babymetaldoll writes

656 notes · View notes

beca-mitchell · 4 years ago

Text

little taste of heaven (i'm caught up in you) (1/1)

Summary: now i see daylight AU - Beca and Chloe’s first date, finally.

Word count: 3.9k

For @anna-kendrick: We've worked on this universe for the past year and holy, it means the world to both of us that you guys love Beca and Chloe as much as we do. Thank you so much for the encouragement and love, always.And of course, again, thank you to Josi who is an incredibly talented artist. Look at this art.

title from "untouchable (taylor's version)" though I did heavily consider using "our song"...i just liked the energy of untouchable a bit more.

Read below or on AO3!

* * * * *

AGE: 15/16 LOCATION: Brookline, MA MONTH: June

* * * * *

It is finally June. The warm air is only a hint of better things to come. Like the last day of school before total freedom.

Beca smiles at Chloe as she nears Beca’s locker. “Hey,” she greets. “Good practice?”

Around them, students mill about excitedly, cleaning out their lockers and making plans for the summer to come. Chloe shrugs, hair clearly still damp from her shower. “I don’t know why we keep running through practices when we have no more games for the season.”

“Got to keep the regional champions in top shape,” Beca teases. “Keep the other teams on their toes.”

“But I’m tired,” Chloe complains. She leans heavily on a neighboring locker. “Since it's the last day of school, will you come over tonight for dinner? My parents are whining about how they haven’t seen you in a while.”

Beca clears her throat, thinking about how the last time she had gone over to Chloe’s house had been when Chloe and Tom broke up...at the end of April. Over a month ago. She had gone because Chloe had been crying and upset. She had gone because even if her body ached with the anxiety of not knowing where she and Chloe stood, she and Chloe were always going to be friends first. Best friends.

Best friends who felt something more than friendship for each other. Confirmed, real feelings. Feelings that made them want to kiss each other.

Feelings that they hadn’t yet talked about. Or acted on despite both of them being extremely single at the moment.

Hell, Chloe's birthday came and went a couple weeks ago without much fanfare. Beca had been too shy to do anything remotely romantic and they ended up going to a movie with a few friends before going to an arcade.

“Bec?”

Beca nods stiltedly, pretending to contemplate her now-empty locker a bit more before turning to face Chloe. She steadies herself with a quick breath. “I’d love nothing more.”

* * * * *

Beca stares at her reflection with some trepidation.

“It’s just Chloe,” she mutters to herself, eyes tracking over every crease in the skirt she has picked out. Maybe I should go with jeans, she thinks. But it’s gross and hot out today.

She isn’t even sure why she’s nervous. It just feels like a return to normalcy of sorts, but Beca’s pretty sure that now that she knows what it feels like to kiss Chloe and what it feels like, a little bit at least, to know that Chloe feels somewhat similarly to her. It’s different. In a good way. Maybe it’s different in a scary way.

She isn’t even sure she can bring up the topic with her mother, so that’s an added layer of uncertainty: it’s additionally anxiety-inducing not knowing how her mother will react.

It’s well past the time that Beca should have already walked out the door to head next door by the time she actually forces herself out of her bedroom and down the stairs, but she figures Chloe will understand. And dinner is rarely ever prepared at the exact time stated in the Beale household anyway. Beca’s not too worried. Just nervous.

She finally reaches out to press the doorbell.

Chloe opens the door almost immediately. “Thought you got lost,” she teases.

“Were you just waiting behind the door?” Beca asks quickly, allowing Chloe to grab her wrist and pull her over the threshold.

“And if I was?” Chloe shoots back, offering Beca a lazy smile, playful in nature. With an underlying hint of something else.

Beca blinks the surprise away. “I wouldn’t be complaining if you were waiting for me. Just sorry I kept you waiting,” she offers.

“Dinner’s not ready anyway,” Chloe says, as Beca expected. They breeze past the living room area, taking a mild detour past the kitchen and towards the back porch. “I might have told you a slightly earlier time because I wanted to talk to you about something,” Chloe says lightly.

“Should I say hi to your parents?” Beca asks worriedly before it registers what Chloe just said. “Wait, what? Talk to me about what?”

“Come sit with me,” Chloe says instead. Patiently. She gestures towards the tree - the tree they used to play under all the time as children - nestled in the corner of the backyard.

It’s one of Beca’s favorite spots.

She follows Chloe, wondering if it’s too late to run home and change into her jeans because she’s sure the grass and sticks will prick at her skin, but she’s surprised, as they near, that there is a small blanket laid out underneath.

Chloe had planned for this.

“Please sit,” Chloe offers. She sits comfortably, patting the spot next to her. “I had a feeling you’d dress up a little. Didn’t want you to get a dress dirty.” Her eyes drift down to Beca’s skirt briefly before she lifts her eyes, smiling at Beca. Beca doesn’t feel self-conscious, shockingly. She feels content. Safe.

Maybe a little warm if anything, but she knows that’s probably the proximity to the girl she’s been crushing on for the longest time.

“I...wanted to talk to you because we haven’t...really talked. About...y’know.” A hint of nervousness creeps into Chloe’s voice. “When we kissed and then Tom…” she hesitates. “We just didn’t get to talk about anything. And now the school year’s pretty much over, so I thought…”

“Right,” Beca agrees quickly. Her palms begin to sweat. She sure as hell hopes Chloe doesn’t expect her to lead this conversation. It was mortifying enough the first time around when she had basically laid everything on the line while Chloe was still dating somebody else. When Chloe had left her with nothing more than a heartfelt, vulnerable don’t give up on me. Then she had broken up with Tom and that was all their school could talk about for weeks.

And now this. Somehow Beca survived all of that while slowly making sure her friendship with Chloe survived as well. They both made sure of that.

“I like you,” Chloe declares. “I mean...I think I always did. Like you, I mean. As more than a friend. But the feelings were really confusing.”

“I get it,” Beca says a little too quickly. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs, laughing a little when Chloe smiles at her. “I feel like I haven’t stopped thinking about this for a while. But I never wanted you to feel pressured to talk about this with me even though we kissed.” She ignores the way her voice totally cracks over that last word.

“I never felt pressured,” Chloe assures her gently. “I am so...grateful that you’re in my life. I didn’t want to mess this up. But I think we should...try.”

“Try?” Beca echoes.

Chloe blushes. Like a full-on blush that spreads across her cheeks, visible to Beca even in the dying daylight. It makes her cheeks rosy and Chloe even flinches at her own reaction. “Dating,” she says simply once she seems to regain control of her emotions. “I want to go on dates with you. And hold your hand. And more kissing! If that’s what you want.”

Beca’s sure that her heart explodes somewhere in her chest because she suddenly finds it very difficult to control various parts of her body. She can’t control the smile that spreads across her face and the following, matching blush in her cheeks. It heats through her face with ease. And even worse, she can’t control the way her hand comes up to her mouth as if to instinctively cover her smile because somehow being thrilled that her crush is basically asking her out making her body react in embarrassing ways.

Chloe laughs at her, not a hint of malice in her laugh. Just joy. “I take that as a yes. Thank God, I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince my parents to move away.”

Beca rolls her eyes. Finally. Teasing. She can do that. “You wouldn’t be able to leave me. You like me too much.”

Chloe’s smile grows soft. “Well...yeah. I do. A lot.”

Beca’s breath catches. She’s sure she could kiss Chloe right now and the crazy part is, it wouldn’t even be totally weird. Or out there. Because they’re going to start dating. But maybe kissing Chloe again before their first date is frowned upon? Beca has no idea. She’s still only ever kissed one person and that person is sitting in front of her.

“Girls! Dinner!”

As if Chloe had been reading her mind and her intentions, Chloe shakes her head and stands, offering a hand to pull Beca up. When Beca stands, they’re somehow even closer - almost nose to nose - than they had been when they were sitting. “Saved by the bell,” Chloe whispers, breath close enough to be felt on Beca’s mouth.

* * * * *

The most interesting part is that Beca hadn’t really thought about any of this - dating Chloe - beyond just vague daydreams and fantasies about just some kind of happy utopia with Chloe by her side. It’s honestly not much different from their usual day-to-day considering how close they already are, but dating? Actual dating?

Her Google search history stares back at her accusingly.

dating tips dating best friend first date first date movies dating girl what to do

She supposes she could ask her mother, but even that brief thought makes her shrink away from her desk. Beca stands and begins pacing. She’s sure that she’s overthinking this all. That Chloe could probably care less about what they do on their first date. That Chloe’s probably just expecting them to spend time together, just the two of them. With more handholding. And maybe a kiss at the end of the night.

“Shit,” Beca mutters suddenly. She rushes back to her computer, adding another search to her list.

kiss on first date ok???

She frowns. Not quite.

kissing before first date acceptable

In the end, she is saved from her descent into a hole of online searching by a text from Chloe herself.

Chloe dinner tomorrow at south street? haven’t been downtown in a while

Beca i’m down!

The ease at which Beca replies does not at all reflect the somersaults in her stomach.

* * * * *

“Hey,” Chloe calls, putting her menu down. “Where’d you go just now?”

Beca blinks, realizing that she had glazed over the menu entirely, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Oh, just...contemplating…” her eyes land on the first item she sees. “Salad.” She can’t help the way her own nose wrinkles instinctively at the thought of eating salad.

Chloe is as intuitive as ever, smiling as she reaches across the table to touch Beca’s hand. “You hate salad. Especially here.”

Beca swallows, struck by both the normalcy and intimacy of Chloe’s touch. They’ve been friends for years—there is nothing extremely off-putting about them holding hands or even just randomly touching each other on the arm, shoulder, knee.

And yet—

Chloe draws her hand away, seemingly not at all aware of Beca’s inner turmoil this time. She refocuses on her menu. “Want me to order something for you?” she asks instead.

Beca nods, though she is surprised. “Sure.” Now she’s curious as to what Chloe will order for her. And if she’s being honest, it kind of makes her feel giddy, the thought of Chloe knowing her well-enough to order something. Not that Beca would even bother with telling Chloe that she’s wrong. She’d eat anything at this point, just to spend more time with Chloe.

It’s not even like they’re at a fancy restaurant. It’s a diner downtown. The bright retro designs all around plus the comfortable, plush booth seats are all appealing to Beca and she likes the general atmosphere.

But she kind of wants to just…

“Can I sit next to you?” she blurts out. Immediately, she clamps her mouth shut, resisting the urge to avoid Chloe’s curious gaze, which lifts to meet hers immediately.

Chloe grins. “I would want nothing more. Get over here.”

Beca nearly sags in relief, but focuses instead on moving around the booth so she and Chloe are sitting closer, now on side of the booth.

Beca focuses on the frequent piece of advice she had found through a few somewhat reliable Google results.

Hold her hand.

Beca does. She inches her pinky across the cool vinyl seats until she can feel Chloe’s against her finger. Then, she slips her hand over Chloe’s, gently hooking her fingers on Chloe’s palm until Chloe gets the idea.

Chloe’s hand flips slowly, their palms touching. Beca exhales, sliding her fingers between Chloe’s, already liking the easy, comfortable fit of their hands.

Chloe says nothing, content to enjoy the silence and familiarity just as Beca is content to allow her feelings to take over. For a moment, Chloe appears to be perusing the menu in silence, but there is a steadiness to the set of Chloe’s shoulders. Beca can tell, having been so attuned to Chloe’s characteristics for longer than she’d like to admit. For longer than even Chloe herself knows at this moment. She glances at her date—her date!—selfishly taking the moment to appreciate Chloe’s profile.

It’s something she has done so many times before, but this time...this time, in a diner outside of town with the soft clatter of dishes around them and Chloe’s soft, warm palm against her own, Beca knows this is different.

“You know,” Chloe starts awkwardly. “I...obviously don’t mind if you ordered on your own.”

Beca laughs. “Why’d you offer to then?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, exasperation in her voice. She groans and hangs her head slightly. “I asked Max and-”

“You asked your brother what to do on a date with me?”

“No!” Chloe explains before she snorts. “I just...told him I was worried about impressing a girl. And I don’t know why, but I somehow thought he’d have some idea.” She grins a little, glancing at Beca out of the corner of her eye. “Did it work?”

“Maybe a little,” Beca says distractedly. She’s more fixated on the fact that Chloe must have been truly desperate to have turned to her older brother for help.

“Oh and he totally guessed I was going out with you, by the way.”

That’s not something that thrills Beca too much. Her imagination immediately conjures up a comically exaggerated vision of Chloe’s brother threatening her with a knife. “How?” she asks. “What did he say?”

“Nothing, really. He just kind of guessed and then said ‘finally’ or something like that.”

“Well, thank you for offering to order for me. It was very...chivalrous of you.”

“Please stop.”

“Quite charming.”

“Beca.”

“I can’t wait to see what other moves you try on me. Are we going to share one milkshake?”

“...no?”

* * * * *

They end up ordering two separate milkshakes because Beca sticks to her vanilla and Chloe orders chocolate.

“Try,” Chloe commands. “You always get vanilla. Chocolate is so good.”

Beca sighs, but obediently sticks her straw into Chloe’s cup despite Chloe’s protests of “contamination” and quickly takes a sip just to shut Chloe up for the time being. It’s not horrible - Beca just isn’t the fan of how chocolate tastes in milkshake form, though she’s sure Chloe will claim there’s no difference if the milkshake were in a solid chocolate bar form instead.

However, she’s mildly distracted by the sudden proximity she and Chloe have between them. Chloe’s arm rests loosely over her shoulder, where she had put her arm when Beca leaned in to drink from Chloe’s cup. She can practically feel Chloe’s breath on her neck and her cheek.

It would be so easy to just turn and -

Beca shakes her head slightly and shifts back. Chloe takes a moment longer to slowly move her arm from around Beca’s shoulders.

“What?” Beca asks quietly, poking at her fries a little. She catches Chloe smiling at her affectionately.

“Nothing,” Chloe replies quickly. “Just...you smell nice. That’s all.”

* * * * *

“I guess it’s kind of convenient that we live together,” Beca remarks, trying not to think too hard about the way Chloe’s hand feels in her own. She winces. “Well. Not live together. But…you know. Live next to each other.”

Chloe tilts her head, smiling as they walk up the path towards their houses. “And why is that convenient?” she asks lightly.

Beca blushes. She hadn’t thought this far. “I’m…I don’t know. I was just…commenting. On the convenience.”

Chloe giggles, pulling Beca closer ever so slightly. Beca likes the way their arms press together. She likes holding Chloe’s hand. She likes lifting her other hand to curl against the bend of Chloe’s elbow.

She likes knowing that Chloe likes her—really likes her—and Chloe enjoyed their date and—and—

“This is you,” Chloe murmurs, stopping in front of Beca’s door.

Beca kind of doesn’t want the night to end. She wants to sit on the porch and talk to Chloe for a few more minutes. Maybe one more hour. Just to hear the sound of her voice and have her attention for a few moments longer.

“This is me,” Beca parrots, feeling a lot more nervous than she thinks she’s letting on. That was what people said in those movies adorning Chloe’s shelves, right? It was what the internet said. Normal first date cliches. She steps backwards, under the light of her front porch, still holding Chloe’s hand as she does so. Chloe hesitates for a moment like she wants to follow, but ultimately she simply squeezes Beca’s hand in understanding and drops her own hand away.

Beca is immediately disappointed. She hadn’t wanted that at all. She bites her lip, watching as Chloe awkwardly shuffles her feet before she glances back up at Beca. A soft, slow smile spreads across Chloe’s lips, gentle and affectionate all at once. It makes Beca’s heart pound ridiculously hard.

“I had fun,” Chloe whispers, like she’s afraid somebody else will hear her. But not because she's afraid of other people. Just afraid that their bubble will burst, like Beca is. Another step closer. Beca swallows. “Can we do that again?”

“You’d want to go on more dates?” Beca asks, just to clarify, even though she knows exactly what Chloe’s asking.

“I would love to go on more dates with you.”

“Me too,” Beca squeaks out. “I—um—”

Chloe’s smile stretches, somehow happier than before. “Goodnight Beca.”

Something in Beca snaps. She steps forward, just two small steps and calls out Chloe’s name. “Wait,” she adds hastily.

Chloe stops and turns, surprised.

“Can I—” Beca swallows, licking her suddenly dry lips. “Can I kis—”

She doesn’t get to finish her question before Chloe is covering the ground between them in two short strides, wrapping her hand around the back of Beca’s head, letting the other come up to Beca’s arm, and kissing her for all her worth.

Beca gasps in surprise into the kiss, hands coming up to Chloe’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. Gently and slowly, Chloe presses further into the kiss, her lips moving ever so lightly against Beca’s. It is so much more than their first kiss—a do-over, if anything—and Beca realizes, with a jolt, that this is something she can do now. She can kiss Chloe because Chloe likes her and Chloe went on a date with her. Chloe held her hand all night.

Chloe wants to kiss her too.

Beca hums happily at the thought, looping her hands behind Chloe’s neck. It feels instinctual even as Beca blushes at the sudden intensity of the kiss. She knows Chloe has kissed more people than she has; she knows Chloe will forever have more experience in this regard. But God, Beca thinks that she has never felt more wonderful or powerful than she does in this moment, tightening her grip on the fabric of Chloe’s light jacket.

Pulling back ever so slightly, Beca heaves a breath and rests her forehead against Chloe’s forehead. Chloe’s breathing is the tiniest bit labored as well. For a moment, neither of them dares to move, too afraid to break the spell between them.

Chloe is the first to smile—the first to press forward ever so slightly so their noses brush delicately. “What were you going to ask?” Chloe murmurs.

Beca swats her shoulder lightly. “You’re so weird,” she mumbles back, leaning in to steal just one more kiss from her beautiful, wonderful date.

* * * * *

When Beca reaches the solitude of her bedroom, she finally gets what all those high school romcoms were about. Showing their protagonist thrilled to finally finish a date so they can squeal and giggle and simply dream about their crush or date. It’s probably the first time that Beca has felt her energy rebound around her room with such happiness and positivity. The sensation is addicting—she honestly just wants to text Chloe all night.

Which, honestly, she could.

Chloe kissed her. Chloe kissed her because she likes her and they just went on a date. A freaking date.

A text from Chloe jolts her back to reality.

Chloe i miss you, is that weird?

Beca no because i miss you too. weirdo.

Chloe i have something else to tell you. that might be weird. Idk

Beca go for it.

Beca watches the text bubbles float in and out on her screen, like Chloe is typing a paragraph. Despite Chloe just saying that she missed her, Beca can’t help but feel nervous.

Chloe I just wanted you to know why i picked south street. it’s because. well. Remember when we first went there by ourselves without our parents. Sometime last year. With a few friends. And we all squeezed into that booth and sat there and shared fries and milkshakes and felt like we were at the top of the world because we were finally in high school or something stupid like that. I don’t even remember much about that night or who we were with but i do remember seeing the way you laughed at something and how your entire face lit up. and i remember thinking that i really liked you and how scary it was that i felt these things for you so suddenly and so much. Like a lot. but i’m so glad that we both got to this point - that we both feel the same way. I just really loved the way you looked when you laughed and i am so happy you’re in my life.

Chloe also i really like kissing you

Beca doesn’t even bother replying.

She shoves on her shoes again and rushes out the front door. She is only surprised to see Chloe sitting on her own front porch, staring worriedly at her phone.

“You really are so weird, y'know that?” She calls out, careful not to startle Chloe too much.

Chloe does jump anyway, but she sets her phone down quickly. “What are you doing?”

“Finishing this date off again that you confessed your big scary feelings. Through a text message.” Beca pretends to be annoyed as she stomps over to Chloe. “You couldn’t have said all that?”

“You make me nervous!” Chloe exclaims.

Beca shakes her head, mustering up all the courage she has in the world, pulling Chloe in for a kiss like she wanted to earlier before Chloe beat her to it.

“So much better,” Beca whispers, smiling when Chloe huffs quietly against her mouth.

It's the perfect end to the beginning Beca has been dreaming of all this time.

fin.

#now i see daylight #mine #my fanfic #bechloe #pitch perfect #text #writing #fanfiction #wlw #chloe tag

105 notes · View notes