#i like the silly dumb ones…. they r relatable as i am also silly and dumb :3

[achilleslyre]

ugh he did not not also die soon. ur tellin me i’ve gotta put up with deidara later still? he better become less boring. i don’t enjoy watching his fighting scenes.

[randomnameless]

Engage dialogue makes me sad honestly also now because of certain Changes that I don’t like. Engage Ike and FEH Ike is “I am shonen protagonist who cares for his friends but loves to fight.” YKB just in Engage to be cutesy and no one mentions that she started a war. I know Engage is fanservice but I wish the fanservice wasn’t FEH remix. Billy is surprisingly cute at least, it made straight men angry when he says things like “hello I am Billy I like flowers and fishing and tea time.” But then it made me sad because Billy can get murdered in Hopes and no one seems to care about the Church anymore even though this Billy seems perfect for Lizard Family Time

Veronica just made me extremely angry! She’s just a gimmick! Her attack is just a dumb, stupid, easter egg mechanic “heehee we included FEH summoning!” Maybe I should be grateful Engage is silly fanservice instead of No Hopes pretentious with dumber fans, but I would have wanted a silly game that isn’t winking at us to spend money in FEH, look it has characters from past games ;;;;)))

If this is the future for the games, I am not buying it yet

Anon,

I'm not the biggest Veronica fan, far from it actually so...

I was always not going to give a fig about her, especially since her base game doesn't either (where is Book 1 Vero?) and gave her a kind of proto-Supreme Leader, without all the things that made Supreme Leader, or should have made Supreme Leader, interesting.

seriously IS should stop to give the "uwu brainwashed!" treatment to their female antagonists for once

I think that was to be expected in a legacy/celebration game, especially since Heroes already flanderised past characters, you can't dwelve that much about Siggy's character arc or uwu about Ike being such a chad when the character dgaf about Tellius post FE10 and ditches his family to live a new "big adventure" with his boyfriend(s).

Billy being cute with his flowers and habit of picking stuff, singing (and dancing!) and eating a lot was already aluded in Nopes, which also reinforced the Jerry isn't the bestest parent ever in that game, but it was eluded because Nopes's "plot" commended us not to care, else some messages would be blurred and Nopes made it clear the game doesn't care about nabateans or nabatean related characters. But I still find a guilty pleasure each time a new Billy alt in FEH is released or with his Engage supports, because it shits on the commonly accepted fandom characterisation of Billy as a caveman who is an ardent follower of r/atheism and prefers to let the world burn because he wants to swing a sword and doesn't want responsabilities.

As for Supreme Leader, well, I still remind firmly convinced her FB's as F!Supreme Leader and B!Supreme Leader were happy flukes, the FeH writers trying to tackle themes/plots FE16 didn't dare to because uwu factor, but now? Supreme Leader is just a bland moeblob used to sell - as if her sailor fuku wasn't a warning sight.

I actually feel bad for what her character was supposed to be, she was just flanderised to be "the chick" in the trio who thirsts after the player character, when she could/should have been much more but... I mostly don't really care tbh.

[qloof]

I forgot what characters you did for the character ask game already so im going to assume i mention at least one repeat but masamune, yuki, yu, and selene garcia

i've done yuki here :D

.

Masamune Kadoya,,...dear god…

I would kiss goodnight every character in this show and tuck them neatly into bed, but I would not do the same for Masamune. Instead I would fling him into the cold ocean with a comically large slingshot. (He is my favorite character)

When i watched the show when i was little i paid no attention to this guy. He was just kinda there. I was more focused on Tsubasa lmao he’s probably the reason why im bi and enby today. I got back into Beyblade years later and watched it SPECIFICALLY for Tsubasa. 

HOWEVERR when i rewatched the show, Masamune stuck out to me. I found him annoying but like in a funny way. Just a silly guy. mans got one braincell. In a lot of ways i relate to his role in friend groups as the dumb or just generally brain-scattered guy of the group. The way he is perceived...haha...oh no.....people irl also perceive me that way sometimes...

he’s just like me fr (unfortunately) 

I think everything started going downhill when I made a comment to myself “oddly specific, but hey that guy’s got a similar skin-tone to me haha cool what if he’s half filo” and then. yeah. 

I like Masamune’s character and how he evolved over the series, and though he’s still his dumb self in Metal Fury i believe he had matured some. Him leaving Toby and Zeo at the beginning of Metal Masters was dumb as shit and he shouldn’t have done it, but at the end of the day he was just a kid who thought fulfilling a shared goal would cheer his friend up, and he worked his best to achieve it. He’s not perfect at all and fails a lot, gets really upset about it and mopes, but he always gets back up and tries again. 

I like how the shows didn’t throw him plot armor, they made him more ?realistic? Than some other characters. His losses taught him lessons and he moved forward from them. I genuinely think Masamune is one of the most realistic characters out there.

I love his dynamics with other characters, i think they’re very funny. I always thought of Ginga and Masamune as kinda twin brothers, both with horse beys and both silly guys. There’s a couple scenes and screenshots of Masamune and Yu and i like to think they have a mischievous older brother and younger brother dynamic, whilst Tsubasa is the oldest and is the victim of all their pranks. 

Masamune and King’s dynamic is…obviously my favorite…lmao. They lift each other up and bring out the best in each other. I believe Masamune’s story in the show didn’t end at Metal Masters, but ended at Metal Fury with King. The scenes they have together are just so :(( <3 THERE’S NOOOOO WAY THE SHOW WRITERS DIDN’T DO THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE….I SEE YOU !! 

sometimes i see ppl who r like “they are the same characters :eyeroll:” no….u r wrong…….

Another thing, Masamune has no drip. THIS BITCH HAS NOOOO DRIP he is the most dripless character in the show.. What the fuck are you wearing BRO. but it looks super comfortable so…maybe it’s ok…

There are a lot of emotions i feel about this character that i really cannot describe in words i don’t think (i have a very limited vocabulary :skull:)

.

Yuu Tendou beloved

At this moment I do not have very much to say about him?? My brain hasn’t attached to him yet but his turn will probably be soon…

I love him in Metal Fusion he was so silly. His character design is sooo cute i love the colors. And shout out to Hani for relating him to Fennec Foxes, u r so right.

Wasted potential in Metal Masters and Fury fr. Would have been nicer if Metal Masters had more teams competing and that there would be more battles for Yuu to grow. IN METAL FURY HE MADE LIBRA A FORCE FIELD???? AND THEY SHOWED IT LIKE ONCE?? BRUH. 

I love his brotherly Dynamic with Tsubasa and I love his friendship with Tithi. They are besties fr.

.

SELENE GARCIA

I love women. I am not immune to women. She is so pretty. And y’know what that’s all i need. 

I love her design ! she is so fun to draw !! And I find her very funny haha.

I believe the Garcias in general are deeper than they seem. Whilst they are the stereotypical villains that do bad things because of their situations, i feel like they in general can be built up upon and there are things that can be interpreted from them.

[pumpkinpaix]

Want a *really* unpopular opinion? I not only *liked* the Incense Burner extras but found them sexy, as a portrayal of two dorks using potentially dangerous magical R&D as a tool for exploring their past feelings and history and negotiating consent by trial and error and error and error.

ANON YOU FUCKING GET IT | STRONGLY AGREE | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

slams hands on table  C O R R E C T

you know what, i’ll do you one better, not only did i like them and find them sexy, i ALSO found them extremely meaningful and important!! i will defend the incense burners unto death, you can pry them from my cold dead hands!!!!

not to get super emo and personal about like, kinda silly smut, but you know what, it’s that kind of night so let’s GO oversharing time, and maybe it will help someone along the way!!! isn’t that what vulnerability is for!!!!

i don’t know if it’s common knowledge that i have ocd -- i haven’t made a secret of it or anything -- but: i suffer from pretty terrible intrusive thoughts and when you add that together with intense moral scrupulosity issues + a complicated relationship to shame and sex, you get some pretty rough thoughtcrime, self-hatred, and sex-related neuroses. i was so completely horrified by the idea of wanting sex that I thought i was ace for like, the better part of my teen years. i’m really grateful to the ace spaces i was lucky enough to find in that time because they gave me a place to feel safe while I was still figuring shit out, and I still feel a lot of kinship with them because even if i’m not ace, sex is still Difficult for me as a concept and aspec people Get It.

together with just my generally really fucked up thoughts, plus the rise of purity culture etc, i have A Lot of fear about my inner self being perceived because there’s a part of me that is convinced that if anyone really knew me, they’d find me disgusting, that they’d think i was a genuinely bad and dirty person beyond redemption. that no matter how hard i tried to be good, i was doomed to fail because there was something wrong with me internally and inherently. that like, no matter how kind or helpful or dutiful or accomplished or smart or thoughtful i tried to be, it wouldn’t make a difference!!!

im getting over it lol don’t worry

but the point is: the incense burners, especially the one in the library, really embody the ultimate fantasy of a person you love seeing your most shameful thoughts and desires and not only NOT abandoning you, but saying “oh shit, that’s hot”. can you understand the palpable relief of that!!!! ;A; and!! to take it one step further, it’s not even a big deal! wei wuxian laughs and is like ohohoho?? hanguang-jun? like this secret that lan wangji was carrying and fearing was just like. kinda cute and funny. that there was nothing to fear at all.

screams into my hands

i joke about being shuangbi kin all the time, except like, it isn’t a joke. the moment when wei wuxian notices that lan wangji is tense, when lan wangji says, “stop looking,” and tries to leave -- idk i just. i felt for him so hard there. stop looking at me. what if you don’t like what you see?

but wei wuxian does like it! and wei wuxian doesn’t think any worse of lan wangji, doesn’t think he’s fallen or disgraceful. lan wangji is still lan wangji, still hanguang-jun, still upright, still 雅正. and the narrative does the same: it never implies that lan wangji is any less of a good person because of this. it’s just an inside joke for the other extras: that lan wangji looks like the sort of person who’s a perpetual virgin because that’s what people expect from someone of his character and demeanor, but he isn’t.

i can’t like. begin to explain how much i treasure this dumb smut. it’s not the best smut i’ve ever read, not by a long shot, but it’s not anywhere near as terrible as a lot of people make it out to be. just. i got to read this thing. where a character i already identified with had his fucked up thoughts about sex perceived and accepted and loved, and it was a character who looked and sounded and thought like me!! down to the obsession with rules and fairness. a chinese character!!! and someone the narrative pretty consistently positions as a sympathetic and lovable person!! mdzs was my first danmei, so it’s entirely possible this isn’t revolutionary whatsoever. maybe this is a super common trope! idk! but it was really revelatory to me. that these really intensely complicated characters we’ve just spent like 500k learning about and falling in love with are also weird kinky dumbasses who don’t know shit. and that both can be true! and that’s presented as a fun, delightful thing! god!!!! i care them! i am so grateful to mxtx for it, regardless of anything else, i am grateful that she gave me this.

anyways, thanks for giving me this outlet anon and also like, letting me experience a version of that relief: oh i’m not alone!

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[clowniconography]

Someone told me that there were 2 satanic temples and one of them was kind of wack but the other was cool

omg thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this!! also sorry in advance for the long ass two part explanation but satanism is definitely becoming a new hyperfixation for me and you asked for it soooo (TL;DR at the end for your reading leisure).

ok so the two most well known satanic organizations are the satanic temple and the church of satan and most likely these r the ones you were told about. like I said I actually ended up having to cut this post into two parts because it ended up being so long so here's part one:

1.) the satanic temple

the satanic temple was founded in 2012 by lucien greaves and another guy who doesn't matter (jk his name is malcolm jarry and he's actually a musician but he's not really associated with the temple anymore) and they're probably the "cool" church out of the two. this is the one that's always doing all that cool pro-choice and pro separation of church and state activism you're always hearing about, as well as famously performing a pink mass to posthumously turn the dead mother of the founder of the westboro baptist church into a lesbian for eternity. While in general I agree with a lot of the positions that the satanic temple holds, and i think their activism and the way they intentionally try to make fundies mad is very cool, i have a few issues with them.

first of all, they are basically an athiest activist group in a satanist hat. They espouse basically zero spiritual beliefs related to actual satanism and are described on wikipedia as a "nontheistic religion". on their website they generally use a horribly patronising "we're not one of those silly superstitious religions that actually believes in our diety" tone in regards to religion which I honestly find so gross. I understand that they use satanism specifically to draw attention to themselves and draw the ire of fundamentalist christians, and as I said I can definitely respect that. however I personally am not an athiest and I think its kind of dumb to do all that just to be a bunch of basic ass athiests who happen to have a shared value system at the end of the day, especially since there are a lot of other very real religions that actually have pro life and anti child abuse messages that are already part of their religious teachings. So, i'm not necessarily going to get mad at anyone for being a member of this particular satanist group but i'm not a big fan.

my second issue is named lucien greaves. he's the one of the two founders who's the most publicly associated with the temple and acts as its spokesperson. he is a very controversial figure. I don't really have much else to elaborate on except that I just kind of think he's a dick. I already hinted at this a little bit in this post but the fact that the satanic temple was founded so recently by someone I like so little means that I, personally, can't in good faith separate the ideology of the temple from greaves' own shittiness (for example, based on the way he talks in interviews im pretty sure a lot of the anti-spiritualism sentiment comes from him). remember the pink mass I mentioned earlier? well, if you clicked that link you'd know that during the ceremony (which otherwise included two same-sex couples kissing over the grave which is fine and harmless obviously) greaves took out his penis and laid it on top of the gravestone???????? Pretty much every article and video i've seen mention this part has treated it like a funny haha moment but to me it comes off as......incredibly unnecessary and disrespectful overkill. So, yeah, I don't like him much, but once again I don't really fault anyone who decides to support the temple for activism reasons.

[bluebeetle]

Stephanie batman for that character thing

ok so im gonna be honest my steph brown knowledge is waaay more limited than some bc most of her appearances r in tim's stuff and i am a certified tim hater (i say while nudging the red robin ive been reading under the bed) 1) kinda similar to what i had for jason but dear GOD stop acting like just bc someone comes from a poor background that theyre stupid--steph in her batgirl solo was going into college and thinking about being a nurse, thats a lot of work!!!!!--and that theyre doomed to be bad people. shes not dumb or a bad person, and she didnt deserve have her torture (and death that got retconned) at the hand of black mask. 2) let her be her own character outside of ur ships AAAAAAAAAAa this mostly goes for tim/steph ppl and cass/steph tho the latter also has a big(ger) issue with forgetting cass is her own character in favour of steph so its just a mess someimes. 3) if you write pro-life steph just bc she decided to keep her teen pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption ill punt you to the moon. u can be prochoice and still decide not to get an abortion, its all personal, also chuck dixon im coming for ur conversative-ass 4) steph has like... ok shes a bit silly and laid back but she is a very determined person who cares deeply about justice and stuff thats why she decided to even become a vigilante and she wanted to stop her dad and all.... like she's not just some silly valley girl manic pixie dream girl she has actual wants and stuff!! idk sometimes it feels like ppl writer her as some cookie cutter relatable teen girl. also shes like... a fighter? not just emotional support. ALSO SHE WASNT A BAD ROBIN!!!!!!!!! 5) her and damian are basically siblings <3 no take backs thats her annoying little brother who has a knife. theyre so cute. also i guess related but steph has like friends OTHER than tim??? like kara and damian and cass. i also think she should be allowed to talk to jason sometimes. thanks

um probably coulda done more deep ones but hgfhdg im sorry steph ill read more of u one day. when i will myself to read the chuck dixon robin run

[hyunisms-a]

( kim namjoon, cis man ) have you seen HYUN JEONG? i heard HE is a CIVIL ENGINEERING MAJOR at ASHDOWN ACADEMY. they’re 25 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 3 YEARS. they tend to be SOCIABLE & ENTHUSIASTIC, but rumor has it they can also be TACTLESS & AIRY.

basics:

full name:  hyun jeong

nicknames:  hyunnie, bastard <3

gender:  cis man

pronouns:  he/his

sexuality:  bisexual

age:  25

date of birth:  26th of july

zodiac sign:  leo

occupation:  graduate student, majoring in civil engineering and minoring in mathematics

hometown: boston, massachusetts

height:  6’1 :nauseous_face:

piercings: has your standard lobe piercings, a helix piercing and industrial piercing on his left ear (why his left ear? because it’s the side van gogh cut off, he says) 

tattoos:  nope, he’s thinking about getting one though

hair colour: platinum blond 

style:  very casual and loose, he moves around a lot so he prefers wearing comfortable clothes, also wears a lot of sustainable clothing brands, wears accessories (earrings and bracelets, in particular), has an Enormous collection of ugly socks and sunglasses

personality:

traits:  (+) affable, tidy, optimistic, spirited (-) cocky, irresponsible, childish, blunt

labels / tropes: Ambiguous Disorder, Beware The Silly Ones, Genius Ditz, Motor Mouth, Distracted By The Sexy, In Touch With His Feminine Side, Shutting Up Now, Undying Loyalty, Unsportsmanlike Gloating   

likes:  apple pie, books, his porsche taycan that his parents got him for christmas haha, fancy socks, romcoms, vincent van gogh, taylor swift

dislikes: tba <3 he hates spicy food but that’s about it for now

hobbies:  collecting socks :~) travelling, building gundam/gunpla models, partying... also loves going to the gym and working out... he’s the type of person who gets up early to jog unless he’s hungover or exhausted 

quirks:  has a habit of getting into stupid shit, pretty sure he’s almost gotten arrested a couple of times... 

faves:

ice cream flavour:  a tie between moose tracks and vanilla

time of the day / night:  11 pm when the party’s just getting started <3 and 6 am when the sun is just rising 

weather:  sunny!!! the type of weather where the sky is an artificial blue and the sun isn’t Too overpowering

colours:  cyan <3

songs:  arctic monkeys, queen, david bowie, anything r&b, something that has a lot of bass and guitar noises

background:

hyun doesn’t really have a sad childhood or an angsty past; his parents were always around, they took good care of him, spoiled him silly (they still do), and practically gave him everything he wanted. however, his father wanted hyun to become an engineer like him, so his parents merely “nudged” him in the right direction, towards the path of following in his father’s footsteps. hyun played with legos and dollhouses a lot— often building the latter from scratch with his mother, learned to assemble and disassemble gundam models and was encouraged to join STEM-related workshops ... hyun was a fast learner when it came to science and math <3 his childhood home is adorned with gleaming trophies and medals from STEM competitions... lmao nerd

he graduated from massachusetts institute of technology with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering

his father has a lot of connections so he practically has a job waiting for him but he loves living the uni life so much that he wanted to keep studying and pursue a master’s lol

moved to san verto to spend a gap year at a non-academic research lab / a government laboratory funded for applied research before enrolling at ashdown

he doesn’t really know what he wants to do? he’s good at what he’s currently doing, but he’s been indoctrinated to “love” engineering that he hasn’t found his true Passion, right now he’s just aimlessly dancing through life ... lifes more painless 4 the brainless <3

plays soccer and is incredibly good @ it... he’s def in the uni’s soccer team (if they have one...) used 2 play american football in high school :nauseous_face:

wcs:

roomies <3 hyun is a chill roommate, he’s like a tall roomba that cleans after people’s messes (unless he’s drunk, then he’d even make more of a mess trying to clean up)

smth spicey like exes, fwbs, cute lil crushes, friends w/ feelings (unrequited?? maybe not?? a bit of chem would be needed for this tho <3),  hyun is very... inscrutable when it comes to relationships so anything is possible! it could’ve been a whirlwind romance that ended badly, they could be exes on good terms (a “we’re better off as friends” type of situation), or they could just be casually sleeping with each other... also, hyun flirts a lot but he’s never had a long-term relationship... he jumps from one person to another so... make of that what you will DKSFJHDKFH i love angst, u guys <3

friends!!!! study buddies, gym buddies (!!!), friends he can be dumb and reckless with, unlikely friends... hyun is generally pretty friendly and easy to like if you can put up with his obnoxious jokes... his sense of humor can be really odd sometimes but he’s very fun!!! very loud!!! really brash!!! the type to wake up in the middle of nowhere after partying hard... that being said, he also needs someone to shut him up or rein him in NBMVBMXNCVB 

bffl, the ride or die!!!! hyun would literally risk everything for them... would love to exchange hcs and stuff for this <3

childhood friends? :thinking: this is also smth we can discuss together!

[quinintheclouds]

Thoughts on Putting Others First: SvS Redux as they come to me

AN HOUR LONG?!?!?! Y E S THANK YOU

I am LOVING this opening art style. The way it shows all the things Thomas could say and shuts them each down, the silliness tying in perfectly to the video game setting, the way we could SO STRONGLY empathize with Thomas despite him not saying anything. Well done!

“Eff friends, Patton!” Patton and I made the exact same gasp and noise at the same time in reaction to that dsjfhljdhg

Lookit Thomas’ lil vest awww <3

ROMAN WITH THE PUNS I LOVE IT APPRECIATE HIM

rhymes

rhymes

they’re rhyming is this gonna be

A SONG!!!

(Logan off somewhere watching all of this: “You guys are doing a RAP? Without ME? .....Unacceptable”)

Seriously poor Logan being left out BOTH TIMES despite clearly having excellent points on the matter

But I’m loving this Patton/Roman dynamic being explored in this way. They have a lotta similarities but the differences are really standing OUT so far and I like it! Also it looks like Roman isn’t gonna just shut up and do whatever Patton says out of fear that he’s a bad person/bad for Thomas this time. I’m glad they’re both getting a chance to talk cause they aren’t exactly taken seriously a lot of the time.

RETURN OF THE BLINDFOLD METAPHOR followed by Roman saying “in Patton’s defense...” so they like, KNOW what Deceit meant about the blindfold? Were they playing dumb? Or do they just suddenly get it now that it’s coming from Thomas?

Ok this Feral Cat Story of Roman’s is too specific for me to dismiss and now I’m convinced either Remus brought a shitton of cats home one day and they just flooded their house/rooms, or Patton brought home a bunch of cats out of love and didn’t realize he couldn’t take care of em...either way that’s an adorable anecdote

The car jump line that Patton took literally is just making me miss Logan even more :(

I’m glad they’re giving context to the relationship between Thomas and Mary Lee & Lee! A lot of fander questions and opinions circled back to “well it depends how close they were” so it was smart of them to fill us in.

“those baby-makin’ catholics”

6:45 Patton has clearly thought through a lot of possible outcomes to talking to Lee and Mary Lee before going to the wedding... he never brought them up, even when Roman did and then Deceit did. But he’s bringing up points no one had addressed, and I think that’s a great way to put more intensity to Patton’s apology to Thomas for lying back in SvS pt 1. He hid a lot more than he let on. Man, how much guilt is this poor man feeling right now? :(

“Talking about it could have been harmful” I’m very intrigued by the parallels between Patton wanting to keep things from Thomas’ friends to protect their feelings in this episode and SvS, and Deceit disguised as Patton in CLBG trying to get Thomas to... keep things from his friend to protect their feelings...

WOAH “But was it worth it? I don’t--” “No.” Thomas cutting Roman off with that much certainty DAMN Thomas REGRETS going to the wedding HARD and also is agreeing with Roman finally??

Patton: “sometimes you can make all the good choices, and still not get the good ending.” Thomas: “I’m not even sure there was a good ending to get.” Roman: “Mmmm, I’m pretty sure there was.” There is so much to unpack here oh my gosh.

WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT??? DAMN THOMAS CAME FOR PATTON WHAT ON EARTH??? Patton: “I think we can all agree that you are a good fellow.” Thomas: Can we? ALL? Agree on that?” Patton: *sputtering noises*

Poor Patton... I mean they’re right but gosh I feel for him. He wants so badly for Thomas to be a good person and he realizes now how strict and unyielding he’s been, and wants to not do that but doesn’t know how to be more lenient without sacrificing integrity cause that’s his JOB and he doesn’t know how to do it better aaaa this is such a mood

MUSIC IS THERE ANOTHER SONG COMING?

Return of the bagel. Except this time it’s Roman guessing/wanting the bagel and Patton being like “what? no?”

ok not a song but video game style is back!!

“ugh you’re such a dad” I love it

Patton just made more puns and Roman omg “Like, you’re SUCH a dad that like it’s too much to handle sometimes”

I am loving this whole scene jdfhjadshg Patton ily and I relate

Thomas and Roman teaching Patton how to come up with imaginary scenarios skjfklsjdfh

Sondheim wrecking Leslie Odom Jr is such a hilarious visual

Ok all three of them are peak dumbass and I’m so here for it (like they’re smart and all but they’re peak dumbass)

Daaaamn Patton is letting out so much this episode. Like he’s been holding back but wowie. R: “Just like how you didn’t HAVE to give him a hotdog” P: *sucks air through his teeth* “I feel like you kinda do though?” YES PLEASE let’s discuss the concept of obligation in morality again!!! Where’s Logan when you need him? Or Deceit even? (I feel like D’s gonna show up later but I wanna hear Logan’s thoughts this time too)

Patton: You can disagree! But... it’d kinda be wrong?

LOGAN POPUP! Ok fine if he isn’t in the ep at least he pops up in a lil dialogue box on screen. Also he popped up to support Patton... neat!

“It’s just me, Logan. I’ve taken this form because I didn’t want to be too...invasive.” POOR LOGAN NO YOU’RE NOT INVADING ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE! Also Roman getting scared by the popup while Patton just waves happily like he always does upon seeing Logan aww

Okay I am getting serious DOPAMINE from Logan talking. Like, he’s spittin’ FACTS. Something about the way he talks is so interesting and soothing and makes me so excited to LEARN. Roman mockingly mouthing ‘behoove’ had me snort though XD

LOGAN AND I WERE IN UNISON HELL YEAH! Patton was all like ooh you’re sharing your lil factoids! And Logan and I at the same time corrected, “Facts,” and proceeded to state the definition of factoids (we worded it differently but yeah as usual Logan is on my wavelength)

Logan’s sprite getting so disappointed at Thomas’ interruption joke jgdkjghks he looks so DONE

OML I LOVE LOGAN’S DIALOGUE BOX TALKING TOO FAST FOR THEM TO READ THIS IS SO ACCURATE

Oof Thomas finally feeling like he GETS it and Patton being like yeah but not if you’re doing it bc you want to feel  good tho... (also that’s the same argument Deceit made in SvS pt1??? I’m confused by Patton/Deceit’s functions lately and I’m very invested)

Oh ok Thomas just brought up that very point haha

“we all agreed the right thing to do was go to the wedding” um are u sure about that

“I was wrong” PATTON CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? I know Logan has the reputation of not being able to admit when he’s wrong (which isn’t true -- he doesn’t like to but he has done so countless times...well not literally countless but you understand my meaning), but Patton rarely is in a situation where he has to, so this is jarring in a hopefully good way. Istg if this is Deceit disguised as Patton again I’ll be so disappointed... I feel like the writers wouldn’t do that though

Patton: says smth deceit said. Roman: and you...agree? Patton: Definitely! I mean uh maybe? (WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE PATTON’S HEAD RN SO MUCH TURMOIL)

Roman: “I’m not an expert in the... moral medium” Thomas:  “Go ahead Roman, we wanna hear what you have to say.”  Patton: *halfhearted gestures and noises for roman to go ahead* jashfjdh he’s trying so hard

AWWWW they’re validating Roman so much I love it

“whomstsoever” ok I take it back roman’s not valid

I adore Logan’s popup fun facts, and him giving definitions for Roman’s vocabulary reminds me how much the two of them love writing and poetry and language aaaa

Patton trying not to be harsh is somehow 10x harsher than he normally is

oh wow that got real.

I know I’ve said this but I love logan’s insertions... but I do wish he got to say them out loud like earlier :/ Pausing to read them is less fun than hearing him talk.

oh wow that got real part 2

I want. So badly. To jump into this video and debate Patton on the nature of morality and what “the right thing is.” Roman you’re not being dumb, you’re bringing up excellent points and you’re valid again.

Oh no Patton... empathy is not morality... please please address that there are people who can’t experience empathy and choose to be moral and good

THE  TROLLEY PROBLEM HERE! WE! GO!

Logan’s popups bc he doesn’t want to “be too invasive” and making them optional to read hurts my heart :( He knows Patton, Roman, and Thomas aren’t reading any of it but he doesn’t want to be too much so he stays silent. Why?? Logan it’s okay! Why is this a thing now but not in the last 2 episodes? What happened to Logan :(

OOOOOOH Patton didn’t flip the switch :o Interesting! Daaaamn he’s arguing to let 5 people die rather than flip the switch so only one dies

LOGAN’S TEXTBOX WAS SO BIG AND FAST IT KNOCKED PATTON OVER I CANNOT BREATHE hang on I gotta read it

HE’S TALKING ABOUT DEONTOLOGY YES LOGAN THANK YOU FOR TELLING PATTON WHAT I PHYSICALLY CANNOT please tell me you’ll talk about utilitarianism and moral particularism next

Okay he used consequentialism but it’s close enough to utilitarianism that the outcome is the same. (Do you get it? Do you like my joke about how the outcome is most important? When we’re talking about-- oh you got it already? Good, moving on.)

DID ROMAN JUST FJCKING KILL LOGAN

“I’m okay, figment of your imagination, so.” Okay so CAN the Sides get hurt or can’t they?? Cause Patton clearly got bonked, roman got hit in the eye with paper and said ow, but logan got hit in the head with a throwing star and had his teeth ripped out and he was totally fine?

 Thomas is being so HONEST with himself so early in the episode, wow this is refreshing and I’m hype

AW YAY Patton called textbox Logan in to help with philosophy yay :’)

Logan: “Pity seems to be at the center of your idea of ‘putting good into the world’” first, Logan doing a voice impression of Nietzsche is GOLD, and second.... I wish they’d let him finish cause I was waiting for a “but” cause Logan siding with Nietzsche on this one feels... wrong? Like I could see Dee bringing it up or Logan using it in an argument only to continue with a contradicting philosophy but Logan equating empathy to pity... idk I thought he’d grown more than to think that :/ Actually I don’t think he ever saw it that way. It feels out of character but I’m guessing he had more to say to debunk that.

HOLY SHIT PATTON SKIPPED ALL THE REST OF LOGAN’S DIALOGUE AND YEETED HIM OFF THE SCREEN bruh he may have been right and he should’ve gotten to say it >:(

ROMAN ISTG DO NOT TRY AND MAKE THIS YOUR FAULT

I SAID DON’T

GODDAMMIT

sjfkdjgjsh okay aww Thomas good job, Patton too. Thank god they’re being nice to him

Patton is having a breakdown holy heckity about time

damn Patton is freaking HARSH

“I have a difference in opinion on this one, Patton” Thomas: *relieved sigh whisper* “ohhh thank you, Logan” YES APPRECIATE THE BOY YES YES I LOVE HIM why are they looking around like he isn’t making sense?

LOGAN YES! CALL HIM OUT! LET THOMAS VALUE HIMSELF AND PUT HIMSELF FIRST SOMETIMES! “Every point you’ve made in today’s discussion has contradicted that sentiment.” I love you but also you sound a lil like deceit... very lawyer-y and feels calculated like he’s been keeping notes for this purpose... I want deceit and logan to debate already damn it. Maybe it’s just that Logan’s inflections feel reminiscent of Deceit to show...something?

Ok can I just say that Logan gets so much rep for his strictness or high standards but he’s been SO GOOD about that lately and him teaching about the importance of leisure and self-care and freedom in your life and self-esteem and valuing yourself like you do with others... not even just this  video -- he’s been like this in the last few as well and these recent episodes remind me of early Logan (esp My Negative Emotions)  and that makes my heart so so happy.

Continuation of the above, compare this to how Logan acted in Why Bed? with regards to Roman. Roman advocated for leisure time and following dreams, while Logan had a schedule that optimized productivity and health. Now he’s taking a similar stance to Roman and asserting the importance of these things... WHY is so much of Logan’s character development OFFSCREEN?? I wanna know what made him switch on this! Maybe just cause he’s listening to roman from why bed?

Why is Logan being so abrasive? He sounds like his intent is more to disprove Patton rather than state what he actually thinks... not a fan of that but he’s not wrong

WOAH WOAH TOTAL PATTON BREAKDOWN WHAT HAPPENED WHAT THE FCK HE’S A LITERAL MONSTER IN THIS VIDEO GAME?

OH, MY GOD. If Logan didn’t step in and save them here this would have been catastrophic. I can feel my relief. I mean, he screamed, but it was a relief. WAIT IT WAS DECEIT THE WHOLE TIME??? Daaaamn good job on this one Deceit and I definitely like him more now but also WHERE IS LOGAN. Was it the whole time? That makes sense in hindsight and makes me feel better about some things he’s brought up but I feel like it really was Logan at the start, it wasn’t until he started calling out patton that his voice and inflection and stuff changed

Patton trying to attack Deceit   and hitting Thomas instead was  an EXCELLENT way to  showcase the effect SvS 1 and 2 are having

Deceit’s lil “A DUH DUH DUH DOY” looked and sounded just like Logan’s lmao don’t tell me it’s another switcheroo (I doubt it greatly lol)

REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN REAL LOGAN

So wait what was the point that Deceit switched with Logan? Cause Logan’s saying “one more fact” so he was himself earlier right?

“Not that any of you care, but  I am unharmed.” Nooooo they care </3 “I will do you all a favor and spare you my company” okay OUCH

EFFECTIVE ALTRUISM YES aw he’s talking about him and patton working together yes thank you

Damn, Deceit is LOVING everything Logan says haha same

Logan and Deceit teaming up to teach Patton that it’s okay to care about yourself

DECEIT WHAT he’s being so supportive of Roman holy heck this is so genuine OH Roman’s arguing with it  this is a lot of stuff I didn’t expect roman to say out loud wow

THOMAS JUST SAID DECEIT THE CHARACTER ISN’T INHERENTLY UNETHICAL WOW this episode really said let’s make Deceit--

WAIT WOAH SORRY HIS NAME REVEAL!!! He’s Janice?? Is that true?

WAIT WOAH PART 2 BUT DECEIT JUST SAID IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MUSTACHE HE WOULDN’T KNOW WHO THE EVIL TWIN IS BETWEEN ROMAN AND REMUS HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY LOOKED VULNERABLE AND THEN HURT AND THEN RIGHT BACK TO SNAKE

ROMAN’S GONE

fuck.... patton...roman....deceit....thomas....logan....I’m gonna go cry about all of them now

LESLIE ODOM JR IS HERE??????? oh there he goes

patton oh my god I love you  this ANGST are you trying to kill me?

Patton telling thomas he’s worthy of love I actually teared up

dfjdakjhfa deceit don’t push it

Wowie that was an EPISODE

[idolshineitai]

WANTED TO. YEAH this isn’t like secret information or anything important at all in fact it might b the opposite but yesterday i resisted the urge to infodump for no reason at all and instead im gonna make a post abt it

IN ANIMAL JAM THERES Crystal sands 🥺🥺!!!! it’s a location And it’s so cute There are two (three? COS SOME R CONNECTED) rly cool slides u can go down and u end up in the water at the bottom which is also wher u spawn if u pick crystal sands from th map. One of them is a single slide but ANOTHER SLIDE is like,, twisty and tangled and two-in-one !! So two ppl can go n cross paths :3 AND THEN below tht is th juice place ^_^ it has a claw machine and a stage AND THIS SUPR CUTE LIL GAME WHER U PICK TH FRUIT SMOOTHIE U WAN n then u hafta Catch th rite kindsa fruit .. to get this lil drink tht will float beside u for a while !! U CAN ALSO GET HOT COCOA BUT THATS IN TH SHOP AT MT. SHIVEER 🥺🥺🥺 But it’s so so nice u pick th cup (shape/pattern n color) n temperature (which changes how much it steams!!) n liquid n two decorations/toppings .. And thatll also float beside u !! It’s so fun !!!! ALSO I LUV. LUV N ADORE TH POOL...? AT MT. SHIVEER THE COLORS R SO PREDDY 💗 ALSO ALSO MT. SHIVEER HAS A SLIDE BUT IT IS ICE U SLIDE DOWN .. n ofc there is th thing abt breakin th ice.

Back to crystal sands. Srry. rn i am putting the long post tag on this and maybe i’ll evn put a readmore cos this is dumb n silly BUT!!! THE JUICE HUT Is off to the left and there r also some beach towels :-) But way way to the rite is the AQUARIUM !!!!! WHICH HAS!! Printable pages ..

and then a movie theater thats upstairs .. AND A TOUCH POOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S SO NICE IT’S SO CUTE :-) u pet each critter a certain amnt of time n then u get money it’s a lil disconcerting bc they disappear n money appears n also u gotta follow em if they run away ?! BUT THEY R SO CUTE N PRETTY N i wuv em.. THERES SEA SLUGS AN ALSO U CN GET STUFFIES OF EM FOR UR HOUSE!! UR DEN! If u ... do good enough 💗💗

all th aminals r hermit crab n horseshoe crab n sea slug n sea star n sea urchin n stingray :-) 💗💗 far as i kno?! They r th ones u get stuffies for at leeeast .. but i wuz thinkin abt em n i like em a lot !!

ALSO U SEE FISHIES N CREACHERS THRU TH WALLS!! 💗

Additionally. I miss th horse game. Which is related to NONE of this cos it’s in jamaa township

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[harinezumiko]

SU Movie Meta n Notions

Courtesy of @thoughttrainderailed​ putting up with my half-not-awake ramblings and chiming in to pour more gas on this shit. 

This could be complaint-flavored but it’s also fic notes flavored, except it’s like three goddamn fix-it-fics worth of notes for more Nanowrimos than I’ll ever complete. :’D 

Harinezumiko:

unrelated

but

I wonder if Lion adopting Cotton Candy Garnet is related to the fact that Garnet became a cat person and Cat Steven adopted Lion

Jaakusan:

I dig it

Harinezumiko:

since NOBODY ELSE WAS TAKING CARE OF THIS EXTREMELY LOST BUBBLE at that point

I am willing to accept Lion recognizing her as regressing to a kitten

you know what would've been a fun angle that we won't get

and perhaps goes against the supposed Intention of Spinel being toxic

but I would still find it more interesting than the nothing we get

Jaakusan:

?

Harinezumiko:

1) I would like Lion being a goddamn cat and therefore Capable of Therapy When Compelled to be a Thing

2) I want Spinel to have made An Attempt at fixing her hair for the Diamonds, only for Lion to immediately ruin her odangos

3) I would also like the fact that HEY SPINEL LOOK LION IS ALSO SOMETHING PINK JUST FUCKIN' DITCHED :| :| to be a Thing

4) also I still want Pearls Brigade On Earth, but I like the imagery of Lion knocking Spinel's attempt to Make Heart Odango because quit your shit

Jaakusan:

hahaha

Harinezumiko:

5) since we don't get a Hey Solidarity With Pearl Because Pearl Doesn't Count Rite Homeworld Elites Fuck U Spinel, I want her to accidentally end up with literally anything from Earth that she has attachment to and incentive to Suck Less for?

like I know she's a movie character and likely I won't have to deal with her again

but

I am still angery that they made as little attempt as possible at hiding that writing Spinel and the Diamonds off was just convenient and lazy, Spinel doesn't care that she fucked up the Earth with apparently her own stupid toxin and doesn't care about anyone there and that pisses me off.

I don't even care if she made a vague excuse about coming back to visit just Lion

I think that would've been a better end note than getting whisked off by the Fairy Tyrant Godmoms to live in the Castle in the Sky forever and never have to deal with things again

also I think it would be nice if Spinel, y'know, had any interest in any of the characters she hung out with except Steven during her reset day

because only Pink caused your problems you dumb shit

you still owe Garnet an apology and frankly everyone else too, but GIVE A SHIT. ANY OF A SHIT. EVEN A SMALL TURD OF A SHIT. ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN PINK

Jaakusan:

yeeeaaaah

I would have liked

like okay keep her going off with the diamonds, my feelings about how that can so easily go Wrong aside

but when they pop up have Pink Pearl with them

and PP talks her down

because you know who is exactly as new to grieving Pink as Spinel?

Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

yes100% this

Jaakusan:

who thought everything was hunky-dory and is now cast adrift with nobody to cling to?

Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

also I am really pissed that like

yeah we got some fun Reset Pearl Nonsense

Jaakusan:

who fucking enjoyed the silly side of Pink that she probably copied from Spinel?Pink Pearl

Harinezumiko:

but we are still facing Pearls Have No Agency And Nobody Finds That Bad Except People Who Know Our Pearl Personally

we still don't see YP or BP for more than a cameo where they don't interact directly with anyone

and they're just being another Utena reference anyway

like they seem to be happier and more comfortable but they don't interact directly with anyone and they literally only get like one off the cuff remark about Steven who doesn't count and isn't part of Gem Society

dude seriously Pink Pearl has so much room to be interesting adjacent from Spinel

but the lack of anything from Spinel even acknowledging that any Gems that aren't Diamonds exist beyond being props doesn't yet bode well for me?

because Spinel is an invitation for the Diamonds to resume something familiar and comfortable, but it's with a literally toxic person who wants to change and is being put in a world where change is not a thing

Spinel has never been part of Homeworld society either, she's been Pink's garden playmate

Jaakusan:

YEAH

(brb closing up to move computer)

Harinezumiko:

(ngl though I would totally take Pink Pearl showing up and fuckin' Asuka Slapping Spinel)

kk <3

Jaakusan:

and back

I just

sigh

it's weird to phrase it like this but

I just want characters that aren't Steven or the immediate antagonist to get significant interactions

the memory sequences still don't count

Harinezumiko:

I agree 100%

Jaakusan:

that's just bringing them back up to par

Harinezumiko:

I also think like

while I would've had even less fun with the movie it. literally squandered so much room for Steven to work with the Barn Gays

Jaakusan:

YES

Harinezumiko:

like... why. what was the point. stop increasing the cast and bringing people back if I don't get to see them do anything

Jaakusan:

YES

Harinezumiko:

I get that RS trapped herself with the stupid Steven Limited POV thing

I still think it's stupid

I think the movie could've cut away from that

I think we could've done away with that in Change Your Mind

I think we could've bullshit excuse handwaved it with some garbage about how Steven re-integrated with Pink Steeb and it allowed him to grow and broadened his worldview because the limited POV was something something Pink Steeb 'shielding' Steven and thus the viewers from Other Stuff

we have a two year time skip because RS was struggling to write things in Steeb's POV and for fucking what, to STILL have a limited protag POV?!

and I know the show is Steven's story

but if it's been something the crew has struggled with

since

I think they said somewhere around like season four was when they started being like "fff" about it

THEN FIX IT

Jaakusan:

eeeesh

Harinezumiko:

FIX IT IN THE MOVIE

FIX IT IN THE TIME SKIP

NOBODY FUCKING CARES IT WON'T HARM THE VIEWERS TO GET AN EXPANDED EXPERIENCE?

like I know that was a Thing RS Wanted To Maintain

and I suspect the rapid writing deterioration of MLP in later seasons didn't help

but fuck everything to do with this like... oh whoops nobody else can do anything protag is the only one who's not an NPC thing

Jaakusan:

YEAH

SO MANY PEOPLE COULD HAVE DONE THINGS

T H E Y H A V E A N A R M Y

Harinezumiko:

THEY HAVE AN ARMY

THEY HAVE NANEFUA

MISS ME WITH NOBODY IN BEACH CITY CAN DO ANYTHING, THE ONLY ONE THERE WHO SUCKS IS RONALDO

Jaakusan:

YOU CANNOT TELL ME IN TWO YEARS NANEFUA DIDN'T INPUT ANTI-GEM MEASURES IN CASE THIS BULLSHIT STARTED UP AGAIN

Harinezumiko:

dude you can't tell me other Gems didn't help

Jaakusan:

other paranoid just-got-out-of-a-war gems

just got out of a war gems living with gems they were fighting against

Harinezumiko:

you can't tell me that CGs that did believe in Pink's cause outside of Avoid Homeworld Live On Earth Forever would just

be totally cool

with this threat on their Earth, a threat that exclusively targets the organic life there

they're not even proactive in protecting the fucking humans?

are you shitting me?

someone please go fetch the Famethyst they APPARENTLY need to teach the rebels how to not just LET GOLDFISH DIE

Jaakusan:

SERIOUSLY

WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL THE GEMS GO DURING THE CATASTROPHE

WHICH STILL SHOULD HAVE EFFECTED MORE THAN. JUST BEACH CITY.

Harinezumiko:

they went to the concert and were totally unperturbed that Amethyst turned into Rose, duh

Jaakusan:

Famethyst would have been another acceptable Deal With Spinel cameo

Harinezumiko:

all of me as a person would like that

Jaakusan:

they have experience with being abandoned disappointments AND with wrangling people who are Upset and don't want to cooperate for their own good

Harinezumiko:

I also think that, y'know, STILL NOT DEALING WITH THE ROSE QUARTZES which I still think are rhinestones is bullshit

Amethyst could've at least lampshaded it

STEVEN could've

fuck, dude, Blue is like OMG A PINK TREASURE??? like yes like the zoomans how the fuck's Holly's stress level btw

Jaakusan:

seriously

WHERE ARE THE ROSE QUARTZES, CREW

WHAT DID THE DIAMONDS DO WITH THEM NOW

Harinezumiko:

where's Jasper

lmao

also host and I were talking about like

Jaakusan:

y u p

Harinezumiko:

Jasper having more room for redemption than Holly

because duh

but also because Holly has been trapped with a bunch of Remarkably Well-Adjusted War Veterans Who Are Extremely Friendly for thousands of years and the stick is still firmly up her ass

and Jasper is... apparently Gifted Child Who Can't Escape Her One (1) Big Failure And Is Branded By Being The Best Of Trash?

which is why she's a bully?

but you can't tell me Bismuth wouldn't brawl it out with her

or that they wouldn't be able to bond over Pink/Rose not trusting of them

or that it's fucking hard being on Earth where you did all this fighting, and you liked fighting, but the reason is Gone and your anger's still thereYou can't tell me that Bismuth doesn't ever have to deal with Gems now who think she's still in her little box and won't see past it, or that it pisses her entirely off but she can't kick ass and take names because Peace Time

bullshit they don't both have war PTSD

bullshit Jasper wouldn't have to grudgingly respect that Bismuth is demonstrably more useful and capable than her intended purpose

and like let's be real

it would be much easier for Jasper to swallow that pill than that Pearl isn't just brokenPearl keeps getting painted as abnormal by everyone's standards for not being a purse

as much as I want Pearl to kick Jasper's ass and have Jasper have to reassess things, canon isn't really setting Jasper up to have that epiphany, not even counting the show's unwillingness to just LET PEARL NOT SUCK AT FIGHTING

but also Bismuth is why Lapis happened

Bismuth was in Beta to kick quartz ass and attacked Lapis who was there to check the results of the hasty terraforming job done on that Kindergarten

Jaakusan:

yeah

Harinezumiko: 

there's so much room to close that story arc

and for Jasper to have to get her head out of the sand and reassess things because the world doesn't make sense anymore but who cares because she and Bismuth can punch the fuck out of each other for hours and Bismuth doesn't think less of her for it

Jasper doesn't have a peer she can 1:1 with because apparently even Garnet wasn't strength-equal to her, but Jasper's going to need several kicks in the head before she can accept that Garnet isn't 2:1

but Bismuth isn't a superior officer, her quarry of origin doesn't matter socially the way Jasper's does, and bullshit they won't get along like a house on fire if Bismuth can make friends with Lapis

Jaakusan:

seeeeeeriously

Harinezumiko:

and Bismuth would 100% be like

Jasper I have a suggestion

MAKE THINGS

shut up I know you hate art because it's frivolous but DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR ENERGY

you'll FEEL BETTER and maybe you'll even find out you like doing a thing and if it's not something you were designed for then who fuckin' cares if you're not instantly the Best At It bitch that's good for you, learn to make stuff.

Jaakusan:

yessssss

Harinezumiko:

hell, like

they even could've lampshaded Jasper being MIA in the movie

Yellow for Some Fucking Reason cancelled her war plans Everywhere even though their whole empire relies on it

Jasper's off Doing That

they could've had several CGs offworld to handwave that too, like

they're not here and yeah we could call their ship with Lars' fuckin ship (where’s Emerald at?) but even if they could get back in time they couldn't evacuate Beach City because the warp drives would need time to recover that we don't have

Earth's not exactly a place teeming with non-organic energy to just power Gem ships

also in that vein likeI think it would've been good to have like

something

about Yellow not having to just dismantle everything she's ever done on her own?

like

does Blue

not have diplomats

was her one (1) skill really just Pushing With Crying

Jaakusan:

shrug 

I can't imagine she needed diplomats with how they treat alien life

I could maybe see her trying to create a diplomatic corp now

but they had no reason for one prior to reformatting the empireI do wonder if they just

stopped kindergarten production and pulled out

or if they tried to rebuild the planets they ravaged

Harinezumiko:

right?

well and like

it sounded like Sapphire was somewhat that kind of Aristocracy

so like

why not

have sapphires who are fairly Revered and also can at least theoretically guess if diplomacy rolls will fail

go help... with peace efforts...

Jaakusan:

at a guess

because they haven't actually reformed yet

they're still at the stage of "we're doing this because we love Pink/Steven and we want Steven to stick around" and not "we've internalized the teachings and Believe we were Wrong"so they're doing like

the bare minimum to meet expectations

because they don't actually care about the results outside of "Steven said we're doing good"

Harinezumiko:

oh no I agree

I think that's more believable

but I think that's not convenient for the writers who keep trying to cut corners

so most likely they'll offscreen epiphany if they don't backslide instantly and in a way Steven can yell at them for in his lifetime

and then Steven will at some point be Happily Surprised by undue progress

Jaakusan:

probably sigh

Harinezumiko:

I'm willing to believe like

Jaakusan:

the Diamonds are getting the Barn treatment

Harinezumiko:

Blue might actually Get It

not because she really Gets It

but because the Oh My God Pink Is Gone Because Of Us, I think, left an impact

and she otherwise did somehow come to the conclusion that Not All Organics Are The Worst likely because they remind her of Pink

but while she thought Pink was literally for real dead, she did get to find out that something as fragile and short-lived as an Um Greg Universe can potentially understand her feelings despite being literally immune to her miasma sadness

and now that she's making a conscious effort not to do that, and following having Yellow's breakdown during their fight in Change Your Mind, I think she'll be more proactive

and possibly more willing to take interest in other species and cultures and their Ways, even if I'm sure at first it'll still be motivated by Because Pink

and as long as she can be empathetic and help Yellow on that front, Yellow can potentially afford breaking down sometimes in private, because they've now also both seen what Constant Facade turned White into

and they both want White back

none of them can have Pink back but they can keep each other together, so Fairy Godmoms can get their shit together, and maybe Blue has a shit ton of notes somewhere about sustaining the Zoomans that can be implemented toward other planets and species and families they broke up

Jaakusan:

nodnod

Harinezumiko:

but realistically, if they were living on human time, it would take the rest of their natural lives to get their family shit together

and they don't get to do that because they're royalty

Jaakusan:

(I want Greg and Blue to be friends and Yellow to be like are you fucking serious Pink chose this and just eternally stink eye him)

Harinezumiko:

they're the entire ruling class of an immortal race of Gems who've spent millennia not only Doing War Things By Design but also who've been made only to Do War Things

like, how do you even dismantle that without wiping a clean slate

we saw how useless it was trying to give a day old Pearl choices

how the fuck are these emotionally constipated Broken God Queens supposed to unlearn their own shit and lead by example

they can't un-design Gems predate Pink

(I mean the solution is to step down and put other Gems in charge but that's still not an instant solution and we still won't fucking get to see it in the show)

(But the point remains that short of some deus ex machina hivemind available to make all the other pearls not overwhelm if you ask to be called Pink Lasagna you don't even have direct underlings that can sit in for you, like, fuck guys, you lost one of your set and made no contingency plan for if it happened again)

(you fucking honest to God thought Something could shatter you and you didn't properly wipe out the entire planet and star system it came from? you're asking for a second round.)

Jaakusan:

jesus, right???

like

real talk

as soon as the movie introduced the concept of concentrated organic murder juice

my first thought was

okay why the FUCK didn't they bomb Earth with that when they lost the war????

have fun on your useless fucking dead rock you'll never have the resources and tech to get off of, rebels

those that survive the earth collapsing because apparently it also breaks up the actual planet rather than just poisoning Everything

Harinezumiko:

right??

well and like

clearly

they just MAKE PLANET KILLER AND STORE IT SOMEWHERE

which I mean I guess if it weren't pink and clearly custom and if it hadn't been a literal fucking hour tops Spinel could've nicked it if the Diamonds really had just pulled the plug on things and abandoned projects

which is still bullshit

but it's still bullshit they should've addressed

Jaakusan:

yeeeeeaaaaah

Harinezumiko:

likeI know it's something Pink likely wouldn't know shit about

but Steven after working with the Diamonds to dismantle the shit?

yeah

uh

he needs to know that shit

Spinel also can't be the only Gem that takes this bullshit badly

Jaakusan:

no reckless dumping of toxic chemicals

Harinezumiko:

not everything needs to be a response to Pink

Jaakusan:

YEAH

Harinezumiko:

that was one of the few things I did like about Steg

not him specifically

but that the first attempt failed because it hinged on Rose Is The Answer

Jaakusan:

but Pearl's whole memory sequence?

yeah

Harinezumiko:

but I maintain the entire movie fails hard at what this show is allegedly about

because no one except Garnet exists because of interaction with friends or family

no one is a product of love

Steven spends the entire movie trying to recreate the traumas that he thinks are the Defining Thing despite that literally not being what worked on Amethyst and despite getting Rupphire to fuse not fixing Garnet for ?? reasons 

I am still mad that we finally get Garnet being Wrong and it's swept under the rug, like? Garnet apparently DOESN'T exist on her own. there is, allegedly, no Garnet if Ruby and Sapphire don't remember it? Are you fucking me?

like A Garnet exists but it's not This Garnet even though as long as Ruby and Sapphire's love exists she should also exist because she's the embodiment of a concept

at the very minimum they should have given Garnet an in-movie explanation for not Remembering Herself

and that explanation doesn't get to be that she finds out that truth is a fucking concept

Jaakusan:

SERIOUSLY THAT WAS SO DUMB

Harinezumiko:

if Garnet's going to spend the entire movie asking stupid shit and getting nowhere then her epiphany should come from finding an answer, and we've already established Garnet's answer IS LOVE

we literally could've had it triggered by something else too like

address the future vision thing

fucking have Steven ask it outright

have Garnet admit she doesn't know

have Bismuth point out the visor thing

hell, you can still have Steven leave Toddler Garnet with Anthy Pearl if you want to

Have Garnet looking for something, have it be her visor, have it be clarity, have Garnet's uncertainty addressed by anyone literally at all

have fucking Amethyst after she gets her shit together remark that Garnet looks weird without her visor

have Pearl who at least KIND OF ends up on Babysitting Cotton Candy Duty for all of 5 seconds afterwards suggest her visor helps her focus

Jaakusan:

maybe based off a Sapphire having only one eye

Harinezumiko:

have Spinel's pot shot not be that Garnet is cute and stupid and trusting, but that she's a three-eyed freak who's still blind to what's happening right beneath them because the Earth's definitely going to fucking explode now and have Garnet make her glasses

have Garnet find her fucking goddamn truth if you're not going to let her answer be love, have Garnet make a decision in the same way that Pearl is allowed to make a choice, and tie it into Amethyst making a friend in Steven

Jaakusan:

YEAH

Harinezumiko:

there's a post about how Steven's failure is defining himself and the Gems by their trauma, as if trauma isn't part of what shapes you

but the post doesn't fucking even TOUCH on the fact that the movie doesn't supplement this traumatic shit with any of the supposed Family Bonding Crystal Gems Values that the show is allegedly made of

you know

the ball

they dropped

in Change Your Mind

:|

:| :|

okay in all of S5

Jaakusan:

Y E A H

Harinezumiko:

no one in this fucking movie does any soul searching at all and it Pisses Me Off

we get some from goddamn Spinel and while the number was enjoyable it has no impact on anything

she learns nothing

she still tries to kill everyone the second she stops getting her way

and she gets a Happily Ever After

and Idgaf that it's more true to Real Life why am I watching a cartoon if you're going to tell me Steven will never get to rest but Spinel gets to live in a castle with no consequences

why does Spinel get a fairytale ending if she's toxic, Sugar

Jaakusan:

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH

the memory wiping literally had no point other than filling time

time that could have been filled with better, more meaningful things

Harinezumiko:

I even liked the memory wiping! Except nobody learned anything after

I would love a well-done amnesia season

I would love Slice of Life season: Everyone Learns What Life Is For

Jaakusan:

ooooh

Harinezumiko:

like, since we don't fucking HAVE SEASON SIX YET, there's no. reason to pin the movie as "vaguely adjacent to the timeline but don't worry about it"

I know it's because Movie and whatever

but you could just use the movie to launch the next season, mang

you could have Spinel apologize to Steven because she can't fix what the scythe did because the scythe isn't even fucking hers

it's a known weapon and it should've been the goddamn shoe-drop for Peridot being afraid of being harvested

have the movie lay the foundation for Steven trying to rebuild his home and his friends and his family without the Diamonds' intervention

the way the Crystal Gems deserve

give Earth a fresh slate since we don't know the goddamn background Gems

give the OG Mom Squad the chance to be welcomed by friends they don't know anymore, dismantle the Homeworld Defaults that they've been left with, let the secondary characters shine for two hours, and open Season Six with things being Different and Steven having to learn that It Be Like That Sometimes 

in the same way the corrupted Gems have to

let Mom Squad become nurturing by choice this time

let Steven be the person in the forefront of their memories, not millennia of Rose

and drop Jasper on the beach in a space pod only to find that Garnet can't fight, Rose's base is taken, her army is lost, the Pearl's not even defective anymore, and Amethyst is. kinda honestly the most functional person here and why the fuck is that the case

Give Season Six the chance to be the Barn Squad + Jasper helping Steven pick up the pieces of his life while Jasper occasionally chimes in still stuck in her ways, have Jasper get uncomfortably attached to this half-feral runt Amethyst that won't let go of her shins

have Jasper be aware that the CGs are Broken and Wrong and have that be what prompts her to fix it. Give her the excuse of wanting to kick Garnet's ass. Have her land on the beach in her Saiyan Pod totally visibly uncorrupted

have the season include the other remaining CGs trying to find themselves too

(and obviously reveal mid-season that Jasper's putting on airs and hiding her horns and spots in her costume change+hair, have her unwilling to admit it might be permanent for everyone, have her invested at that point enough that she doesn't find it acceptable)

(and then have her get the fuckin Piccolo treatment. have her get better as she becomes a better person.)

Amethyst can still be the first to really Get It, even

Amethyst accidentally shows it by shapeshifting without horns

because she knows Jasper doesn't have them anymore

have Jasper lapse back into being a Rampant Bitch sometimes at characters who don't deserve it and have Amethyst, the feral child not long enough ago, react badly

Jaakusan:

yesssssssss

Harinezumiko:

like I know this suffers from I Just Want Jasper Screentime

but the writers ALREADY SKIPPED SHOWING US BARN GAYS DEVELOPING ON SCREEN

have Jasper be an outsider who thinks it's Weird and Wrong for different reasons than Steven but have them join in their goal to make Earth home again because they've both lost that

also have literally every other quartz on Earth awkwardly defaulting to assuming Connie's mom and/or Barb are agates

[nobodies-png]

modern!au is a CONCEPT. bless y'all. could u do some hcs for modern! roxas, ventus, vanitas, xion, and sora + having a disney marathon w/ their s/o? like what movies they pick, do they sing along, r there snuggles, what snacks are brought, etc. (pls feel free to add any other details u want. i love lil details.) (this might've sent once already, my page refreshed. if so, sorry!) hugs & kisses!

o this is such a wholesome prompt, thanks for sending it !

Sora : 

You’re looking at the Disney King himself. He knows a shit ton of movies and almost every song in existence so you bet your ass he’s gonna sing. And you’ll probably tag along too, his enthusiasm is just so contagious - hell, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the lyrics, just sing whatever you want to the rhythm of the song with him ! 

He’ll b e g you to watch Big Hero Six and the Lion King movies with him. After that, you can choose anything you want but just p l e a s e let him watch those, they’re his absolute favorites. Also, remember to keep some napkins around cause Sora will cry no matter the movie, the messages just hit d e e p and he’s just a softie. Just snuggle with him for a bit and pat his back while he just stutters about how cool the movies were, he’ll eventually stop with the waterworks. 

You know what ? Sora probably has a lot of Disney merch. If you guys are having a disney marathon, you’re gonna do it properly. He won’t hesitate to prepare his entire house just for this movie night - building a pillow fort in the living room so you two can chill comfortably, hoarding a lot of snacks and like a thousand popcorn bags, wearing his Stitch onesie (and probably lending you his Winnie the Pooh onesie if you’re up for it !) 

Like the whole concept could feel childish, but not to Sora ! He grew up with Disney and he holds those movies very dear to his heart, so he’d be so happy to know that you’re willing to pull an all-nighter with him ! You’re never too old to enjoy these things.

You know Sora would suggest inviting absolutely everyone, but he won’t complain if you wish for a more intimate date. That’s fine with him too ! The two of you would have such a fun time and then pass out in the pillow fort at like 4 am. 

Vanitas : 

You know those people who are like “Pffft, Disney is overrated” ? That’s Vanitas right there. The guy looks like he’s fueled by kicking puppies and being a generally mean jerk - but you know better than that. Vanitas has zero knowledge about Disney cause he was never interested in cartoons as a kid so he simply assumes it’s bad. It’s up to you to show him the real deal.

At first he’d be against the idea of having a marathon. The guy can barely pay attention to class or hold a normal conversation and you want him to just sit there and watch movies ? U n b e l i e v a b l e. Are you singing ? Please stop, no singing allowed in this house, no he doesn't want to be part of your world, plEASE SPARE HIM - Accepts in the end just to avoid doing homework. He’d let you pick whatever movie you want, but if he were to choose, he’d probably go with the Lady and the Tramp, Treasure Planet or any Pirates of the Caribbean movie. 

No one will be able to wipe off that shit eating grin off your face after seeing Vanitas go from constantly talking over the movie, critizicing everything, teasing you for being so childish to just being dead silent, completely absorbed in whatever movie you two decide to watch. Feel free to catch him off guard with a smooch here, he’ll probably have a hard time processing what the fuck you just did cause holy shit did you see Hercules beat Hades' ass?

If you introduce Vanitas to the whole conspiracy theory about all Disney movies being related, you better be ready for 3 hours of him just rambling about the posibilities. Now THAT’s something that interests him. The movies would just be background noise as you two just talk away into the night, probably in the kitchen while preparing some weird food combination cause you two ran out of snacks. 

If you expect Vanitas to admit that he was wrong and that Disney was, in fact, something pretty cool then you better sit down, honey. The closest thing you’ll get is him just stubbornly saying that “he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, watching movies for kids.” 

Ventus : 

Ventus is a casual fan. The type that just knows the old 2D princess classics because he grew up with them, but just slowly lost track of what the hell Disney was doing. Like he probably didn't even get to see the Princess and the Frog - But's all good cause he's eager to see your favorite Disney movies !

If you make him choose a movie to watch, he'd go with the safe choices. Stuff that he knows like Snow White, the Little Mermaid and Cinderella. I can see him loving Pocahontas, Moana and the Three Musketeers, though.

If you want to pull an all nighter to watch as many classics as you can, he won't stop you and he'll try to stay awake with you (and pass out a little after midnight, lmao) - but he'd insist on taking breaks cause looking at a screen for over 6 hours straight can't be h e a l t h y.

Ventus would gladly cuddle and snuggle with you - and he'd also love to sing along, but the poor dude doesn't really know any of the lyrics. Solution ? Just put on those good subtitles and there you go ! He'd love to sing Aladdin's A Whole New World with you or just any duet. You two would get so into it that your neighbours would propably have to knock on the walls a few times so you'll lower your volume.

If you ever mention your favorite (s) disney character(s), you can totally expect Ventus to show up one day unnanounced with a plushie of them, just for you. Consider this his way of saying thanks ! And also apologize for passing out so early - he'll make up for that inviting you to yet another movie night with him.

Roxas :

Another casual fan, but the complete opposite of Ventus. Roxas never got into 2D Disney as a kid and he's more into the 3D additions like Brave, Coco or Frankenweenie. He's also that type of controversial fan who actually enjoyed the liveaction remakes of the old classics.

But don't get him wrong, he's still a r u t h l e s s critic. Roxas gets bored pretty quickly with movies that have such obvious and bland plots and twists that he can see them coming from a mile away. I see him being more of a Pixar fan, just quoting Shrek in his usual deadpan voice on a daily basis. Roxas' brain in a 1000 heartless fight : "and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they-"

If you want to watch movies with him, prepare to discover Roxas' more sassy side - the guy just can't hold back all these funny remarks and jabs at Disney Fairy Tale Logic™. "Oh good for you Gaston, trying to send your crush's father to a psychiatric ward just so she can pay attention to you is SUCH a powermove. You should've dated Lefou instead -" "Do you think Ariel's daughter was born with a mermaid tail or legs? Imagine the monstrosity -".

In the end you two wouldn't even pay attention to the actual movies, since you'd be too busy mocking and impersonating every character and just rolling on the floor laughing your asses off. Your snapchat and instagram stories would be filled with videos of each other doing dumb stuff, calling out all the tiny mistakes as if you two were CinemaSins.

In the end, this Disney Marathon would just turn into a weekly movie night where you two just watch everything and anything. Sometimes it's fun and goofy, and sometimes you two actually get into the plot and discuss all the h i d d e n lore. Roxas would feel super special to have this little new tradition with you.

Xion :

Xion is the definition of a Disney Princess. She absolutely loves every princess movie and you bet your ass she screamed when all of them appeared in full 3D during Ralph breaks the Internet. Like she's a natural romantic and a dreamer at heart, so all the fairy tales just get to her, always tearing up during the climax of the movies.

Ironically, most of her favorite Disney movies aren't princess related : Aristocats, Peter Pan, Tangled and Brother Bear. Xion is that type of person who just points out all the similarities between her friends and the characters. Like Kenai and Kods's bond remind her of her and Roxas' friendship with Axel, Saix reminds her of Randall from Monsters Inc, Kairi is totally Lilo and Aqua is Nani - You get the idea !

Even if you suggested the idea of a Disney Marathon, Xion would just plan the best course of action and take the lead almost immediately. She's just so excited to be able to spend this night with you that she wants to make the most of it ! Snacks ? Check. Netflix and other sites to see movies ? Check. A shit ton of blankets and hot cocoa ? Check. The perfect partner ? Check.

Xion would do her best to not break out into fullblown singing - mostly out of respect for her roommates and neighbours, but you'll definitely hear her hum along and mutter the lyrics under her breath. And if the song is catchy enough, she'd love to pull you in for a dance !

At the end of the night, you two would be exhausted but content. Probably giving up on seeing all the movies, just listening to a disney playlist on Youtube while you two do stupid and silly Buzzfeed quizzes like "What Disney villain are you based on your aesthetics" and such. Xion has trouble sleeping, so you'll most likely end up falling asleep on her first. She'll stay awake till sunrise, taking a few sneaky selfies with you peacefully sleeping by her side.

[vertigoambrosia]

so apparently bobby gunns does some commentary or something on the german version cause tas tweeted a ‘whatever he says is not wxw’s views!!!’ tweet

but tough luck i’m not smart enough for german so there’ll be none of that in my shotgun blabbling

so today i guess we’re gonna see the beginning of the shotgun tournament, since the preview pic is of the 4 people who actually might get a title shot

tbh it’s kinda weird that those are first round matches - i mean, we all know juvenile x isn’t gonna have a title match at a big event...

i still think lucky and ivan will be the finals but i’m bad at predicting things so watch they’ll both lose today

the placement of dragan in the opening is really great btw

oh it’s these lil shits

god it was less than a month ago they were such nice boys

*francis voice* these vintage belts

well HELLO pete

committed to never wearing a shirt again

der cool kids

*ivan voice* i mean we’ve done some shit but we didn’t literally rob people

i bet ivan has always wanted to beat up a cool kid

oh boy dragan intervention time? can i not

‘i am julian pace. i relate to lightning mcqueen but i am not a car’

god lucky is ADORABLE

lmao tarkan so wants lucky to look serious and fearsome here and he just...can’t

bless our boy

have i ever mentioned that i’m an immature dumb american who giggles whenever i hear ‘fahrt’ in german words?

abfahrt

reminds me of a harvey birdman joke i won’t bother trying to type; maybe i’ll find it on youtube

AWWW ivan and pete are here for lucky too!

tarkan is in no mood for the finger thing

*lucky kid voice* if u r a car can i drive u?????

lucky totally got distracted by julian moving Very Fast

OMG HE IS PRETENDING TO DRIVE LUCKY THAT IS SO DUMB BUT ALSO AMAZING

oh it looks like ivan and pete didn’t stay at ringside...maybe they should to keep an eye on tarkan?

loll that chp and the sell

i mean it looks p stiff but he’s selling it like lucky’s walter

man i want both these guys to move on :(

wait i didnt exactly see what happened with the ring bell - tarkan slid it into the ring and the ref pushed it out and then??

i hope mella and lufisto become friends

see they’re bonding!

oh this is gonna be fun!!!

i love that shotgun shows wrestlers being silly with twitter

i mean, nothing’s quite like walter’s ‘omg i wish i could block every picture of bad bones with the tag title’ and tim warning us to stay away from the twitter

but lucky being gleeful over getting twitter attention and lufisto laughing at responses to her beating kelly are great too

oh ivan you’re my favorite weird looking rodent snake boy

(we should note that ivan did win the shotgun title clean - david starr did get distracted by bones, but flip was the one who went for the rollup and failed before ivan won)

sorry i didn’t pay attention to marius’ promo imagine i said something pithy about naruto or something

hayyy peeeeete

it must be really hard to be a weird looking dude with a really really ridiculously good looking best friend

or, alternatively i guess, it must own to date up

ivan’s such a weird longboy but it’s somehow like....sexually fascinating?

looks like a pervert, but a pervert you might fuck

...is alan saying ‘nip-up’? because...he shouldn’t

yes, he’s definitely saying nip up and i don’t know why

shoutouts to the rise signs, esp the one with the hearts

also shoutouts to @antifunpolice for the photo of pete and ivan smooching dragan because i’m pretty sure it could be photoshopped so it’s pete and ivan kissing

hell if i printed it out i could just fold it like one of those mad magazine inserts

ugh these lil shitbirds

the distraction didn’t really come across well on video though

BOOO DON’T BEAT UP MY BOYS

lol these boys are gonna die in five minutes once monster consulting get in the ring with them

ivan i’m sorry i jinxed it by saying you and lucky would make the finals

i think i remember hiding in the laundry room once in college when i was very sad so i relate to dragan’s choice of hiding place

seb is a good friend who says stupid things

i love him but like this is mr. ‘make a pros and cons list about your girlfriend’

just listen, sebastian...don’t speak

so the big wxw heels right now are young punks and whiny middle aged men

awww i can’t understand what they’re chanting

yeah i have that same shirt andy it’s not actually that special

UM I AM VERY LITERATE I READ SUBTITLES

loll andy pls i’m sure you ‘let’ ilja murder his way to the top

WOAH andy going a lil far there

*andy voice* i bet he hasn’t even named his penis!

boo these bad men!

and whoever keeps chanting for andy!

really everyone who chants for andy should be punished

idk have them take a walter chop or something

no don’t chant for aj

ohh yeah you fuckers al run from walter

don’t be a dick walter

pls

a good boy

totally hype for this match and this teamup!

[philly-osopher]

C, H, N, P, U! (I hope you're done working for the day cause I don't think this is what "yelling at you if I see you post" looks like tbh.)

C: Which character do you identify with most?

So here’s a thing that may come as a surprise to readers of this blog: it’s not John Laurens, although I love him very much. I am far more pragmatic and less angry than he is, and I self-flagellate much less. I am also not as stupidly reckless– in fact, I think of myself as very cautious. But I admire his idealism and his bravery a lot, even as I can see where the extremes of those traits lead him to tragedy. That sense of such great potential, along with all the details we have on him due to @john-laurens​‘ fantastic and tireless research, is what draws me in.

Okay so I explained it’s not John. I definitely projected a lot of my mannerisms/ quirks, especially anxiety-related ones (memorizing data, making lists, talking to myself, getting really insistent and precise with words) onto Macaroniverse Alex. That said, musical!Alex doesn’t really have those traits. But in terms of his ambition to Be Somebody in his field and his willingness to work really hard to do it, sometimes to the detriment of… uh… everything else in life? The way he likes to plan? The enjoyment he gets from discussing ideas and constructing arguments? Those things definitely speak to me.

H: How would you describe your style?

Versatile! I try to adjust my style to what I’m writing, and I’m pretty proud of my ability to switch because it’s something I’ve worked on a lot. Even between third person Alex and third person John in Macaroniverse, the voices are different; Alex gets longer sentences and more looping/ leaping, while John is very concrete and linear and pretty bad at noticing his own emotions. For example, John:

The plastic bag inside the box slides out and he spills Cheerios all over the floor. Then he can’t work broom and dustpan at the same time, so he ends up picking up all the spilled Cheerios and throwing them in the trash one by one. Then he can’t get the milk carton open. He almost gives up, because Cheerios without milk are just not fucking worth it, but something in him refuses.

Hemingway might approve, if not of the content, then at least the sentence length and structure. (Actually I kind of like the Hemingway comparison because his is the Stoical Manpain voice and John def has a little Stoical Manpain going on in this story, the silly dear).

Versus Alex:

And even though he trusts Herc to be careful with his pins, and not to judge him for the enormous quantity of free dental dams and condoms he steals from the table outside his door, and to help him discriminate between normal-sick and dangerous-sick… he doesn’t trust him with this yet. He should—he really should.

One, Herc owes him for agreeing to serve as his mannequin after his poor sweet Thimbleina was stolen by a bunch of giggling tri-Delts on a scavenger hunt. (Not that Alex minds getting to model Herc’s edgy, sculptural creations every once in awhile. They make him feel badass. Particularly the poison-green women’s blazer currently taking shape on his shoulders.)

Two, Herc’s also first-gen, he was born in Nigeria, he knows what it’s like to stick out like a sore thumb. Alex frowns. Does that metaphor make sense? Why do sore thumbs stick out? Are they swollen or something? What happened to Herc’s poor sore thumb? In this case, was it sore from the hammer-blow of class, racial, and native-born privilege?

See how he likes to make lists? And starts running with sentences and just kinda… keeps going with them? And how he gets distracted and goes off on mental tangents and has to loop back to the topic? He’s not disorganized to himself, he just has a different system. With his stories sometimes I struggle to get in-voice and sometimes I have the opposite problem of keeping everything from exploding into the confetti shower that is Alex’s inner monologue.

For canon-era stuff I try to use a totally different voice, which isn’t authentically 18th-century but has absorbed approximately that flavor from all the Patrick O’Brian I’ve read. From the rivers/ guns sequel I’m working on:

On the mudded-out track through the endless woods and rolling hills of central Pennsylvania there walks a woman—young, clad in widow’s black, the heavy fabric falling round the gentle swell of her belly. Her black hood is cast down to shield her face from the wind; her head is bowed but her back straight. Before her the sky is clear and blue in all the glory of early fall; behind her it is ink-black and uncanny, and uncanniness clings to her skin like the smell of death clings to men off the battlefield. No band of brigands dares accost her; no friendly washerwoman inquires if she is well, if she needs a bite to eat, what business a woman in her state has on the road. The uncanniness holds them back—well, that, and the creature that scuttles along at her heels: low-slung, many-limbed, panting and coughing and drooling ink from its gibbering mouths.

I count three semicolons, one colon, two em-dashes, and 22 adjectives. Hemingway no longer approves. He’s coming for me with a big knife. If you never hear from me again, you know whose ghost to blame.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Yes, but thank god @herowndeliverance​ is writing it already.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Here’s what happens, most of the time. I get an idea for a passage of dialogue or a premise or an ending to a fic. I’m nowhere convenient to write (usually walking somewhere or at work) so I write it down in the notes to my phone and then think on it obsessively for the rest of the day, trying to turn it into something story-shaped. I get home and try to capture what I thought of. Inevitably something isn’t working and I have to talk/ appeal to someone to get the idea loose. Mostly I do this by shouting at my friends in messages and then going back and copy-pasting the whole conversation into the document.

So, I think I end up planning quite a lot, even for shorter stories. Even if I don’t deliberately outline, I’ve at least gone through the story several times in my head before I start typing.

For longer stories, like the rivers/ guns sequel excerpted above, I outline before I get started, but inevitably things will change and evolve as I’m going. Sometimes when I garden too much my inner architect has to tear out the gardens I made because they’re in the wrong places or they don’t match the house, which is always a sad process. In fact, as I’m writing I’ll actually tell myself when something isn’t working, like Philip thinking, this is so dumb, why am I acting like this? when I was trying to take a plot shortcut that unfortunately led to Bad Characterization. That’s a sign more planning needs to happen.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

I’m not naturally inclined to do much in the way of shipping, and my Lams obsession is actually very out of character for me. But I’d love to do more of Laurens and Lafayette interacting, because whenever you think about their characters, there’s some very clear compare-and-contrast you could do. @your3fundamentaltruths has also convinced me that there’s a lot of potential with stories featuring John and Angelica, although I can’t ship them because I headcanon John as Kinsey 6 100% Gay.

I also haven’t written any Mariliza, even though I think there could be potential there. Obviously not in the canon timeline, because Eliza would probably rather slap canon!Maria than just about anything else, but in an AU where Maria and Eliza meet before Maria and Alex do? You could see Eliza being the Concerned Mom Friend when James Reynolds is being terrible to Maria, and being moved by how hard Maria tries to protect her little girl (maybe Little Eliza and Susan are friends in preschool and Eliza and Maria start talking when they set up a playdate?), and wanting to help her. Actually, you know what, I don’t really ship this but if somebody wants that premise it’s up for grabs :D

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28th April 2019 (Jonas Blue, Lil Dicky, Rita Ora)

Top 10

We have a couple new arrivals this week, but the biggest story is still how this song clings on to the top spot, as “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus still at number-one for a second week, and both the meme and constant discussion surrounding the song continue to spread to the point where it’s a cultural phenomenon.

The rest of the top 10 is incredibly less interesting. “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys is up two spaces to number-two. It could make a play for the top.

Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” is also down a spot to number-three.

Down one position from last week is Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” at number-four.

Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” isn’t moving at number-five.

Avicii’s posthumous hit “SOS” featuring vocals from Aloe Blacc has boosted up six spaces to number-six, becoming Avicii’s first ever posthumous Top 10, as well as his tenth Top 10 in general, and Aloe Blacc’s third.

Up a spot from last week is the Jonas Brothers with “Sucker” at number-seven.

Russ (Splash) and Tion Wayne’s “Keisha & Becky” stabilises its spot at number-eight, down a spot from last week.

Elevating a single space from recent controversy is “Here with Me” by Marshmello and CHVRCHES at number-nine.

At #10, to round off our top 10, is “Talk” by Khalid, up a space and returning to the top 10.

Climbers

Wiley’s “Boasty” featuring verses from Stefflon Don, Sean Paul and Idris freakin’ Elba is up five spaces to #12, whilst “All Day and Night” by EUROPA featuring Madison Beer enters the top 20 at #14, up eight spaces from last week, becoming the first top 20 hit for EUROPA as a group, as well as Jax Jones’ seventh, Martin Solveig’s third as well as Beer’s first ever (Congratulations). Other than that, “Pretty Shining People” by George Ezra is up nine spots to #25, and his other song “Shotgun” is up seven to #30, so there must have been some sort of boost to the album sales, but generally, that’s all we have.

Fallers

We have a few more of these, or at least it seems these songs are more notable. “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man finally gets its streaming cuts due to dumb UK chart rules and is down 10 positions to #16, whilst “Boy with Luv” by BTS featuring Halsey collapses 16 spaces down to #29 as K-pop always does, “Disaster” by Dave featuring J Hus is down six spaces to #33, whilst “wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish as well as “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monet seem prepared for a premature exit, down 11 and 10 spots respectively to #37 and #40.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

I’m going to assume YNW Melly has had his streaming cut as “Murder on My Mind” is completely out of the Top 75 after dropping out from #38. Speaking of, “Options” by NSG and Tion Wayne has very unfortunately dropped out from #23 due to this dumb chart rule, which directly affects certain genres, i.e. urban music like hip hop and R&B (as well as EDM, for that matter) that is boosted prominently from streaming, from never having any longevity and not becoming as big as hits on the year-end than they deserve. “Options” would have been locked if it weren’t for this rule, as I think it would have lasted many more weeks. The other drop-out is from Ariana Grande and it’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” from #39.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “Carry On” – Kygo and Rita Ora

Produced by Kygo and Afsheen – Peaked at #8 in Norway

Yes! I finally get to talk about Pokémon! I know what you’re thinking, what? Why? It’s just Rita Ora collaborating with some massive EDM producer like she always does, and while you’re right, it’s for the Detective Pikachu film, which isn’t currently out but I am going to see it at some point. I’m excited to hear this soundtrack as well, although I’m not exactly expecting Kygo and Rita Ora to deliver anything particularly good, or interesting, or Pokémon-related for that matter. Pokémon songs for the anime films have never directly related to the film plots, though, and usually were kind of boring, motivational songs with very vague lyrics, which is understandable as they had to be rushed out every single year. Anyway, this is Kygo’s seventh Top 40 hit and Rita Ora’s 21st, which is impressive, and is it any good? No. Of course it isn’t, and I’m mostly indifferent on this tasteless drivel that EDM producers put out in general with female pop singers where it sounds like the singers have been artificially sped-up, with mixing that’s overly-drowned in reverb and an instrumental as dry as clay years after it is first moulded. The piano melody here isn’t bad, but it isn’t unique and doesn’t carry Rita Ora’s incredibly weak hook, and in general her performance here sucks, like that random “Woo!” she adds in that pauses the song entirely just to halt his momentum, to add nothing at all! There’s barely a real drop here, so it just feels like a constant onslaught of nothingness and high-pitched vocal samples, which I somewhat like for its effort not to make a club banger but rather a tropical house ballad straight out of the dregs of 2016, and it’s not the last new arrival we have that does that here, but this is the only one I’ll talk about in this episode, more on that later. Anyways, this isn’t worth much analysis. It’s dreadfully boring but it’s not exactly long and doesn’t overstay its presence for THAT long, I suppose, it’s just disappointing for a soundtrack that is supposed to provide the music for what is looking out to be a film full of personality with actors oozing charisma. I’m looking out for the Sonic the Hedgehog film’s soundtrack a bit more now, albeit just for the novelty of a Dr. Robotnik cover of “Gangsta’s Paradise”. Next.

#27 – “No Diet” – Digga D

Produced by Ghosty

Digga D is a UK drill artist, as most of the rappers we see on the charts are in 2019. I’ve only vaguely heard of him before, so I think it’s safe to assume that the extreme marketing for the song involving a lot of different companies and individuals, including Mixtape Madness, is what landed this on the charts as Digga D’s first top 40 hit, as well as the video which is about trafficking crack cocaine in Coca-Cola cans... sure. Anyway, is the song itself any good? Well... the beat is incredibly minimalistic like most UK drill, with just an ominous piano line as the backing for a skittering hi-hat and bass-heavy trap beat – those 808s, by the way, are pretty insane. Digga D isn’t really saying anything of interest or anything different than the other guys, but the beat is good enough to carry him a lot of the time, and I love his weird sounds he uses for the ad-libs. It reminds me of a British Migos, where instead of repeating the line, he just makes unintelligible nonsense words and stutters. The singing on the second verse is pretty janky in relative to when it appears in the verse, and while Genius says this and the supposedly playful lyrics are what sets it apart, I don’t see the juxtaposition here, I just think it’s kind of surreal in how bipolar this song feels. There’s an ominous, eerie and menacing beat, violent and braggadocious lyrics from Digga, and then a bunch of silly, humorous ad-libs over it. This song has an identity crisis first and foremost, and while we’re at it...

#24 – “Earth” – Lil Dicky

Produced by benny blanco and Cas—

Nope. No, sorry, not touching this one. I appreciate what it’s doing for charity but I have a LOT to say about this song and trust me, it is not overwhelmingly positive, so, no, I’m not covering this one, at least not like this, and not right now. I might do a full-length review at some point but I think it’s much more likely that I talk about this at the end of the year, if you get the gist. For now, to replace an actual review, let me just list the guest stars, because technically, this is a song by Lil Dicky featuring Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Halsey, Zac Brown of his eponymous band, Brendan Urie of Panic! at the Disco, common fungus Hailee Steinfeld, Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg, Kevin Hart as Kanye West, Adam Levine of Maroon 5, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Sia, Miley Cyrus, Lil Jon, Rita Ora, Miguel, Katy Perry, Lil Yachty as an STD, Ed Sheeran, Meghan Trainor, mother-father gentleman PSY, professional basketball player Joel Embiid, Tory Lanez, John Legend, Bad Bunny, Kris Wu, Leonardo DiCaprio and the entirety of the Backstreet Boys. Does that count as a review for Lil Dicky’s second UK Top 40 single? I don’t care, I’ll talk about in length when I want to. Trust me, I’m planning ahead.

#23 – “What I Like About You” – Jonas Blue and Theresa Rex

Produced by Jonas Blue – Peaked at #1 in Belgium

Oh, yeah, this, okay, well, Jonas Blue exists, I guess, and I’m supposed to review everything he puts out because everything this dude makes charts... and sucks. I don’t really have a problem with the dude, but nothing he makes is all that interesting, and he’s the epitome of carelessly generic EDM and dance-pop. This particular track features vocals from Theresa Rex, Danish pop singer who you won’t know by name and she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, but you will know the voice of from “Solo Dance” years back, which she had uncredited vocals on (I’m glad they stopped not crediting the vocalists on EDM tracks, especially since, you know, they do all the heavy lifting in terms of singing). The production here is pretty tropical, I guess, with some handclaps and a weak synth drop that has a few orchestral stabs to replace any unique instrumentation. None of the vocal melodies catch on yet and I’d much prefer “Solo Dance” to this. What else am I supposed to say? I know I’ve taken the easy way out with these two songs, but honestly we’re at a standstill in the charts right now where it should really be more interesting than it is.

Conclusion

Even if I didn’t review it, I don’t care, Lil Dicky and friends still get Worst of the Week for “Earth”, with Dishonourable Mention going to Jonas Blue and Theresa Rex for “That’s What I Like About You”, or something to that effect. In fact, there’s no Best of the Week or Honourable Mention, the Dishonourable Mention is tied as Kygo and Rita Ora’s “Carry On” exemplifies the exact same problem. God, what a crappy week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!

[neoraven]

Movies I Watched December and January

I wrote these at Letterboxd. There were a few I rated and had nothing to say. 

I’m trying to do a thing with 1997 / 20 years later. I started with Metro. It was going to be weekly. Oops.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back 2016 ★½  22 Jan, 2017 I was left wondering who was this movie for? Cobie Smulders keeps making great performances in things that don't deserve her. The ceiling of this is Bottom-Tier-Bourne-Sequel, made even more bizarre by Tom Cruise being a part of it.

Metro 1997 ★★★  20 Jan, 2017 20 Years Later. Movie #1 1/17/1997

Eddie Murphy, generally coasting on his Beverly Hills Cop coattails, stars as a hostage negotiator slash generic cop. This was Murphy's only movie after the huge success of The Nutty Professor in 1996. He lost to Beverly Hills Ninja over MLK Weekend at the box office. Michael Rappaport is hilariously miscast as a button down, bookish cop type protégé for Murphy to insult. Carmen Ejogo is the thankless girlfriend and damsel in distress. And finally, Donal Logue kind of stands out as the only actual hostage situation the hostage negotiator encounters.

So, the movie. Like I said, they drop the hostage negotiator thing pretty early as this shifts into a generic loose cannon cop chasing guy that killed his friend story that Eddie has done at least 5 times across 2 franchises. The script doesn't really give its star much time to shine and be funny, but Eddie Murphy is still Eddie Murphy and manages to liven up a dumb horse-betting subplot. The action sequences are pretty big, filling out a budget of $55 million. The largest involved a runaway cable car and more than a passing resemblance to Spider-Man 2.

It's a little generic and joyless, but just falls on the side of good for some of the random R-rated flourishes that manage to push this above being a star-studded Law & Order episode. His friend's stabbing death looked more like something out of Scream than an action movie. The director would go on to helm "Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story".

Metro. The 65th most popular movie that year at the box office. A minor speed bump in Eddie Murphy's career that never really came together. Jettisoned into January, it still ended up a minor hit, almost recouping its bloated budget.

And it's the first I'm doing of this. Series? Project? Of looking back at 1997 releases 20 years later. I'm going to roughly try to go in chronological order, but I reserve the right to watch stuff whenever.

Blue Streak 1999 ★★★½  20 Jan, 2017 Lean and mean and very pleasantly above expectations. Also shoutout to the villain from The Mask still getting work.

Planet Terror 2007 ★★  19 Jan, 2017 Shoulda watched Death Proof.

Arrival 2016 ★★★★½  16 Jan, 2017 god-DAMN

La La Land 2016 ★★★★★  16 Jan, 2017 god damn it

Jason X 2001 ★  13 Jan, 2017 just lol

Wild Wild West 1999 ★★★  04 Jan, 2017 I dunno what Kenneth Branagh was paid, but it wasn't enough.

True Lies 1994 ★★★½  01 Jan, 2017 This is undoubtedly a great action movie. But the whole middle subplot with Bill Paxton is so gross.

Warcraft 2016 ★★  01 Jan, 2017 This wasn't as bad as I thought. It's even a little wild. But it feels like a prologue to something I never wanna see.

7 Days in Hell 2015 ★★★★½  31 Dec, 2016 I could not stop laughing during this. Kit Harrington surprised me.

Don’t Breathe 2016 ★★★★  30 Dec, 2016 I'm on board for every Fede Alverez/Jane Levy collaboration

The Accountant 2016 ★★★  29 Dec, 2016 Overstuffed, but well-shot. Felt like an entire season of television crammed into one long pilot episode. I don't mean that as an indictment of TV, more just the volume of subplots that could carry an episode on their own. Here they're reduced to 5-10 minutes, or throwaway lines and flashbacks.

The Accountant was frustrating. It wasn't very satisfying with the ending so open-ended, like a pilot. And a few of the good ideas and set ups are going to remain half-baked forever.

Inferno 2016 ★★  29 Dec, 2016 Tom Hanks' Bad Acid Trip starts out with some pretty unhinged visuals- death and people with backwards heads and such. The story settles down to being on the silly side of stupid, with Hanks' doctor reacting to an anagram with the zeal of a kid on Christmas morning early on. So I can't be too harsh here. But it's still pretty bad, even for Ron Howard.

Blackhat 2015 ★★★★½  28 Dec, 2016 I was enthralled.

Central Intelligence 2016 ★★½  26 Dec, 2016 Rock and Hart are fun, and there's a hint of an interesting and disturbing story at the edges here. But most of this is a mess. It just feels lazy and stop and go at times as the plot and tone yo-yo's all over the place. There are still some cool action sequences to be had with Dwayne Johnson, and plenty of funny parts as well. But it still never really comes together into something.

Also, worth noting that this is the third movie that has had an emotional climax by The Rock stripping himself naked to a crowd. Joins Walking Tall and Furious 7.

Ride Along 2 2016 ★★★  26 Dec, 2016 I loved the first one, and this was one gratuitous sequel that managed to be worthy. It's not that much more than a bigger, much slicker Law & Order episode. But the Kevin Hart/Ice Cube pairing goes a long way. Olivia Munn and Ken Jeong were fun additions to the group who I wouldn't mind seeing in a sequel a la Lethal Weapon. The action scenes were all really fun and varied. The videogame stuff is mostly annoying every time it's brought up, but the mix of visual effects in the car chase where Hart drives were undeniably cool.

The Night Before 2015 ★★★★  25 Dec, 2016 A++ Christmas Movie.

Bad Santa 2 2016 ★★½  25 Dec, 2016 Extremely lazy sequel wasting Octavia Spencer as a prostitute and Christina Hendricks as a sex object, but manages a surprising amount of laughs.

The Invitation 2015 ★★★★  24 Dec, 2016 I enjoyed this a great deal, and the ending shot is some classic shit.

Blair Witch 2016 ★★  23 Dec, 2016 It's essentially a remake and a sequel, but mostly brings the worst qualities of each to the table.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 2000 ★★  23 Dec, 2016 Felt like a chopped and screwed remix of the first movie. But not really as fun as that would be literally.

The Blair Witch Project 1999 ★★★★  23 Dec, 2016 A classic.

The Purge: Election Year 2016 ★★★★  22 Dec, 2016 There's a lot going on here related to the actual election and what I'm sure the filmmakers thought was going to happen in November. Is this horror movie now the rosy fantasy that we'll look back on and pine for in 2019? I hope not, because I hope we'll have Purge 4, 5, and 6 by then. Or the TV show.

The Defender 1994 ★★★  21 Dec, 2016 "After all, I am an assassin, and you are just a lowly defender!"

Also I admire the tricks used to remove guns from parts of action sequences.

Deepwater Horizon 2016 ★★★★  21 Dec, 2016 There's a great and thrilling disaster movie here wedged between two embarrassing bookends. It starts with Mark Wahlberg's plucky daughter helpfully explaining the science* of his job/the premise. The real life epilogue with real testimony was also a bit too much. But at least there was the joy of seeing Trace Adkins' angry family member billed in the credits as "Massive Man".

*whatever technical basis or explanation for what happened got abandoned halfway through the big explosion

Mascots 2016 ★★★  18 Dec, 2016 Reheated Christopher Guest leftovers are still pretty good.

The Finest Hours 2016 ★★½  18 Dec, 2016 This is all very solid and okay. The parts not out at sea are an ANCHOR dragging the movie down.

Incarnate 2016 ★½  17 Dec, 2016 This movie is mostly a weird slog, and it never tries to look appealing. Most of the action takes place in dark rooms. And the term "action" is used loosely. Anyways, my hopes for Inception-laced Nightmare on Elm Street visions were dashed pretty quickly. But I did get a few chuckles out of the stupid science explanations and Aaron Eckhart's performance.

Masterminds 2016 ★★½  16 Dec, 2016 A smattering of very funny small performances and scenes. Nothing really comes together into a great laugh or exciting story. Jared Hess still is not a great comedy director. But this was way too disjointed and sloppy to really have a chance.

Spectral 2016 ★★★½  15 Dec, 2016 This movie tries on a few different hats, and wears them all just fine. You have a little bit of Aliens when the badass marine types take on the unthinkable force. It's Black Hawk Down when they take on the [fake spoiler alert] ghosts in the bombed-out city. James Badge Dale is even a little bit Tom Cruise from Edge of Tomorrow as the sci-fi type thrust onto the front lines. His transformation from fish out of water to hero stays pretty steady throughout the movie's different phases. Clayne Crawford, now of Lethal Weapon and Rectify fame, also has a slightly memorable turn as one of the ghostbusters.

I loved the mix, but it's obvious why this never found a release date, sat for months, and finally got shuttled off to Netflix. But it definitely isn't terrible.

Deadpool 2016 ★★  14 Dec, 2016 Near the end, "a CGI character" tells Deadpool about the four or five moments that make up being a superhero. Unfortunately, a few good moments do not make up a good superhero movie. For all of the sixteen walls that were supposedly shattered, this got old fast.

I don't think I can fully hate it. The few jokes that land are really good, and there's a general weird tone that is missing from most spandex movies. But I can't really like it either when it still shares the other boring 75% of every other spandex movie.

Hell or High Water 2016 ★★★★½  14 Dec, 2016 Fucking amazing. Except for a couple awkward heavy-handed lines. And I also had the thought during most of it, "what if there was a pair of bank robbers without polar opposite temperaments?" Like. They don't have to both be buttoned-down or both be "Ben Foster in every single movie i've ever seen", but, ya know.

Kickboxer: Vengeance 2016 ★★★  12 Dec, 2016 I'm probably more than a little swayed by the split screen during the credits imitating the JCVD dance moves from the first. The lead is kind of boring, but this still never really drags too long. It's really thankfully competent.

Jason Bourne 2016 ★★★  12 Dec, 2016 Alicia Vikander's amazing performance and Vincent Cassel kicking the vehicular mayhem up a couple notches in the final sequence is almost enough to make me forget the previous dour 90 minutes. Still not bad.

I Spit on Your Grave 1978 ★★★  11 Dec, 2016 I only watched the half where she slaughtered all the men.

Mechanic: Resurrection 2016 ★★½  10 Dec, 2016 I spent a significant portion of this movie thinking it was a Transporter reboot.

The Magnificent Seven 2016 ★★★★  09 Dec, 2016 Magnificent is a really strong word, but it was really, really good.

The Legend II 1993 ★★★  08 Dec, 2016 The sequel forfeited a little of its heart for bigger and more bombastic action sequences. It's still very funny, though, and a couple of the more elaborate fight scenes surpass anything in the original.

Ben-Hur 2016 ★★  08 Dec, 2016 The chariot race was extremely dope.

The Legend of Fong Sai Yuk 1993 ★★★  04 Dec, 2016 There were some incredibly crazy-cool fight scenes.