#i like the idea that their real relationship started in the wilderness

[thunderon]

i respect the fuck out of taivan for surviving a plane crash + getting stranded in the wilderness and still immediately finding ways to sneak off to continue their secret hook ups. love really does win

[anabdaniels]

How much does devotion weigh?

Paring: chubby!Agent Whiskey x Plus size female reader

Summary: Your thoughts about your husband's appearance end up on a good morning sex or Jack became chubby after retiring from Statesman and reader is obsessed with it.

Word counting: 1.5k

Rating: +18

Warnings: Fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, body worship (if you squint), retired chubby Jack (c'mon, it's too lovely to not be warned).

A/N: So, we all saw the Eddington BTS pics and we're collectively deceased. Not surprisingly, while everyone was like "OMG that's Javi" my Daniels-obsessed brain could only scream "THAT'S JACK AFTER RETIRE FROM STATESMAN AND GET HIS RANCH" so here we are.

Another piece of the same universe: A pretty picture and the scenery is so loud

Divider from: @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

You sighed as your husband’s breath tickled your nape, his warm chest pressed against your bare back. You’ve been awake for a good time, but with no intention to go anywhere, after all, you had no reason to do such a thing, nothing could compete with spending a cold morning snuggling in the comfortable arms of your cowboy.

Being that quiet and comfortable, your brain started to make you think way too much; you hated every minute of the period of your relationship you had to deal with Jack disappearing in whatever place Statesman needed him to, letting you completely clueless about when you would talk to him again, how long would take for him to come back home or even if he really would come back. Now that all those agonizing days were just a memory of a distant past, you sure still hated Statesman for having kept your man away from you all those times, but at that very moment, being so well snuggled in his arms, you surely would never forgive Statesman for have kept his comfortable shape away from your hands for so long.

Yes, even during his more fit period, Jack had that soft stomach you always went feral for, but since his retirement, he had converted to your real-life-sized teddy bear. His arms still were strong and muscular, which couldn’t be different with the amount of manual work he did daily around the ranch, but now they were chubbier and softer, like the rest of him. You couldn’t be more grateful for his taste in jeans, because, if those vacuum-packed pairs looked good before, now that they had to be a size bigger because Jack’s thighs, hips, and ass had grown, you were doing no better than a man when it came to having your eyes glued on his rear back while he did anything.

You smiled when you felt Jack moving on the bed, leaning his head forward and kissing your shoulder lazily as he woke up, tightening his embrace around you, which was more than enough to set fire to your whole body. You turned on the bed to face him, smiling at how handsome Jack could look with his eyes half-lidded and his recently awake lazy face; his estimated mustache, millimetrically trimmed as always, looked good like never on his now slightly rounded face. Without second thoughts, you leaned your hands on his cheeks, gently squeezing them while tucking yourself even more against Jack, hanging one of your legs around his hip.

“Are we well woke up, hum?” Jack teased and leaned to nibble your chin while moving one hand up and down your back, causing you to shiver all over since being a full-time ranch owner had made his hands rougher over time.

“Can you blame me for it? You have no idea how hard it is to wake up with such a hot thing on my bed every day.” You said completely shamelessly, moving one of your hands down his chest, sighing audibly with the merle feeling of his soft form under your palm.

“And here I was, thinking I should start to workout again.” He retorted with a chuckle.

“You wouldn’t dare.” You answered more quickly and worried than you planned to, but it was a genuine reaction. You felt your libido getting wilder at every pound he gained over time, you couldn’t bear the idea of him losing them.

“Wasn’t you that said that I was crazy for not being happy every time you planned to do some unnecessary diet?” he raised one eyebrow with a cocky smirk.

“Fine, I may have understood what you meant when you said that a couple of pounds more wouldn’t hurt anyone.” You admitted with a playful smile, unconsciously squeezing his soft stomach.

“Then is a no for the workout?” Jack questioned teasingly, pressing your body against his.

“Is a definitely obviously explicit unnegotiable no, Daniels.” You said emphatically, melting a bit with the feeling of his body glued on yours and leaning forward to kiss him.

Jack moved one hand up your back, sinking his fingers in your hair and pulling it softly as his other arm kept firmly rounding your waist. A popsicle in the sun would be more undamaged than you at that moment. You weren’t even consciously moving your hands while they groped every inch of Jack’s torso you could reach, especially when you squeezed his soft love handle; you never understood all the times Jack said how much he loved to grab your soft curves, especially your rounded stomach and abundant love handles, but now you were comprehending everything. You always saw a bit of weight gain as the end of the world when it was with you, but at moment Jack gained the first couple of pounds, you were about to climb up the walls wanting to grab every part of him.

And Jack was completely aware of that. He never doubted that you were deeply attracted to him, but when he realized that your libido seemed to magically have increased at the same pace that he became thicker, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Aside from his cocky and full-of-himself manner, for a moment Jack wondered if you would be okay with the body changes the retirement brought and couldn’t be more relieved with your little obsession towards his new form.

Having you so needy and melted between his arms, Jack couldn’t do more than move further, letting go of your waist to sneak one hand between your legs, smirking as he felt you already wet and pulsing on his fingers. With no flourishes, he started to rub your throbbing clit, taking a squeaky whimper from you as your nails sank into his chubby waist. Unable to hold his huge need, Jack slid inside you, smiling against your lips as you moaned and pulled him with your leg, getting even more turned on by the soothing feeling of his soft stomach pressing against yours.

Despite being drunk on pleasure you managed to open your eyes while resting your forehead on his, your hands still caressing and squeezing all over him as much as it was possible. Got on the moment as much as you, Jack grabbed your thick thigh that was on top of him, pulling you closer as he rolled slightly to the side, getting half on top of you and letting his body weight partially over yours, that being enough to send you to heaven; you always loved how you felt small under him, which gained a boost with his extra weight.

With one elbow resting on the mattress, Jack leaned to kiss you again, keeping his hold on your thigh as he intensively fucked you; the increasing of your libido had thrown his sex drive at the height too, especially after got rid of all his stress of working for Statesman.

You hung both of your arms around his neck as you melted under Jack, tightening your leg around his hip as that knot started to build on your lower stomach. Conscious of the effects he had on you, Jack slightly leaned his head back, letting go of your thigh and grabbing your jaw, staring deep into your eyes as he made sure to let his upper body brush against yours, causing you to whimper and contort, unwrapping your arms from his neck just to touch his shoulders and biceps, aware that you could cry if you thought too much about how handsome he was and how lucky you were for being married to him.

As your eyes started to roll back on their orbits and your eyelids fell closed, you felt Jack letting go of your jaw to move his hand between your legs but he didn’t get the chance to make it, once you fell apart on an orgasm even before his fingers reached the level of your stomach. You whined and sank your face into the curve of his neck, feeling your senses cloudy and your cunt pulsing around his cock. With a soothing caress on your nape, Jack kissed the top of your head, letting his face rest there and groaning quietly against your hair as he filled you up.

After a moment, Jack rested by your side, letting an arm around your torso and one leg between yours. You turned your head lazily to look at him when his fingers caressed your waist, smiling when you found him looking at you.

“Can I ask you something?” you whispered and he promptly nodded “Do you have any unavoidable plan for today?”

“Not actually.” Jack answered with a soft frown, curious about what you had in mind.

“Very good.” You said while tucking yourself against his chest “Because I have no intention of letting you get out of this bed so soon.”

Just casually tagging some besties that might be interested on this (and to say hi after I disappeared for weeks): @missladym1981 @tuquoquebrute @iloveenya @sevillagrenada @pedroshotwifey

[namidew]

Updated Apollo and Artemis designs !! (Still subject to change and clothing changes)

Details below for design concept ramblings (not including a few details explained in prior posts) !!

Complementary Details - Apollo and Artemis are very similar in physical appearance, which is to show that they are close to each other. Not just as a design choice by me, but within the story they choose to look similar, as the gods can change their appearances. Apollo has gold (jewelry, eyes, and hair strands) and the sun halo for the domain of the sun, and Artemis has the silver (jewelry and eyes) and the moon halo(?) for the domain of the moon. They have a light-and-dark outfit contrast to highlight their different domains, such as Apollo’s domains of the sun and light, and Artemis’s domains of the moon and the wilderness. They both have green himations, with Artemis’s being “warmer” in tone and more earthy, while Apollo’s being “colder” and more “refined(?)” in a way while the two still match.

Apollo - Individually, his chiton now has faint yellow stripes shooting from the gold jewelry, in resemblance of the sun and its rays. His himation has lighter green lines, resembling a blank music score, to represent his domain of music. If drawn for a comic or an illustration, I like to imagine he’d have the melody of a related song on it.

Artemis - Her chiton is now a dark brown rather than the previous white, allowing her to blend in more within the woods at night. She has a deer pelt over her shoulders due to her domain of the hunt and her association with deer, as well as a more “woodsy” look. Her himation now has darker green details of leaves, also adding to her wilderness and nature theme.

Story Dynamic - They’re rather close siblings, always looking out for each other. I’d imagine they talk frequently but have the sort of relationship in which they can go a long time without talking and return to normal even after. I’d imagine Apollo to be pretty conflict avoidant and of the tendency to try to keep the peace, while Artemis may be more impulsive depending on the circumstance, as based on their domains. Not entirely sure about the next concept, but it would be interesting if Apollo, while rather amiable and within good graces with many, actually tells little about his personal details (as in the type of person who you think you know well until you try to recall anything about them personally) while Artemis is the opposite where she’s more of an open book so long as you start a good conversation, but it’s not a concrete idea. It would be an interesting concept though, given how the moon is physically closer to the earth than the sun.

Unrelated and Miscellaneous - First, I’m considering toning down the vibrancy of Aphrodite’s chiton and possibly Dionysus’s purple (grapes, eyes, himation) for the sake of more cohesive of a color palette (warm and earthy), but I plan on waiting until finishing all the Olympian designs to finalize that, given there’s a few others I plan on giving a more cool-toned color palette. Second, the next few Olympians are going to be a bit more difficult to design, for me it seems, so ideas are greatly appreciated ! Third and lastly, if I were to make this story more than an idea, it would likely be a non-linear slice of life “comic” series in which random drawings or scenes are posted in no real order. I’m not good at writing stories anyhow, and while a written story, actual comics, or animatics/animations would be very cool, I haven’t the skill for any of those.

Anyway, thank you very much if you read all these ramblings, and if you have any suggestions or ideas, I’d be happy to hear them !!

[fighting-these-demons]

Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

[not-so-local-lesbian]

OKOK THANK YOU. so

I was messing around with some Nimona AU ideas was thinking abt teenage gloreth encountering nimona for the billionth time because i love them. But my ideas werent really getting anywhere yk

Ended up thinking abt shapeshifter gloreth bc that seemed like a fun idea + would solve my nimona bring immortal and gloreth being. Not immortal problem when thinking abt them thru a shipping lense

And after a while i realized Wait. This actually works

So gloreth would start out human and the events from nimona's mini backstory (go back to the shadows w glorteth thing yk) would still happen. Nimona would avoid her and the other humans for a good while after that, but never fully leave bc gloreth was the first person she felt a real connection with. Gloreth on the other hand would grow up as the 'heroic monster-slayer' altho she never slayed any monsters before or after nimona, tho she ended up a great hunter and swordfighter. She didnt really like all the attention but its her life know so she cant do much abt it

For years she'd often think she saw nimona out in the wilderness as various animals, but never properly run into her (nimona is watching but avoiding her -> has been for all those years, and liked to shapeshift her human form to match gloreth's in age, probably subconsciously)

I should probably mention that gloreth does regret what she dis to nimona, being mire mature and understanding what happened. Shes mad about it, but also conflicted, with everyone in her life having told her that nimona was a monster. She doesnt know what to believe.

Eventually due to Circumstances i havnt figured out yet (tho theyll probably involve magic), gloreth randomly turns into a shapeshifter one day. This is where im not completely sure what to do with the story, but heres some points that i know:

- nimona sees what has happened to her and reluctantly (?) decides to help her out

- gloreth initially blames nimona, thinking she'd turned her into what she percieved to be a 'monster' somehow. Nimona is upset by this but ultimately decides to keep helping her

- after that initial confusion (which never really goes away for her), gloreth feels extremely bad abt everything and desperately tries to rebuild her relationship with nimona, but nimona doesnt fully trust her since the back to the shadows incident. (This eventually leads to a 'why are you helping? Because i care about you' situation

- gloreth does eventually learn to accept herself this way instead of trying to 'fix' herself, and mostly repairs her relationship with nimona

- at some point nimona has to disguise herself as a human and go into town for reason i do not yet know. Gay things and angsty drama happens

- yuri

This was already a lot so i'll try to keep this short:

This au started out for funsies, but there is some queer metaphors buried in it, as there should be

Nimona and gloreth represent different types of queer/trans people. Nimona has known she's queer for her entire life and you don't need to know anything about her 'original' self, but she wast accepted by others. Gloreth was raised in a society that didnt accept queer people, but when encountering queer people herself, wasnt hostile, or was evwn friendly. She was either in denial or only later in life realized she's queer, but because of the people around her, stayed in denial and blamed other queer people for 'turning' or 'manipulating' her. Eventually, by interacting with others in the lgbtq community and learning more abt herself, she learned to accept herself for who she now was. Unlike nimona, who has always been queer and wants others to percieve her that way, gloreth wasn't always, and is open to discussing her previous identity as well as who she is now.

THAT WAS A LOT SORRYYY TY FOR LETTING ME RANTT

I have a page or two of doodles from this AU i might send too :D

Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakesss

Okay, first off, don’t be sorry I THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself reading this, and I would LOVE to hear more via ask or DM, and I would LOVE to see that page.

Second: this was actually fucking beautiful and reading throughout the whole thing the metaphors and symbolism came through so well you didn’t even need to mention it. Like this is so good. I usually don’t read manh AUs because they’re not always something I look for (although most are so good), but this is something I would 100% sticker subscribe to and look for and oh my god this fits so well. I’m so excited to hear more about this because I really really really want to hear more and I can’t articulate how well written the relationship is, overall story, character depth, and oh my goodness gracious this is so cool.

(Can I tag this with your blash things?)

[noxale]

Why people like "Ascension" from a psychological point of view.

\N: A message from me, the post itself starts with the word "START". Hi, It's not my post and it's not my words. But I think it would be helpful to understand it. I can see how the situation already seems better (?) maybe I just don't go on reddit. But I feel like this post just still needs to be. From myself I want to say thank you to all neutral, calm players and just those who have fun. Thank you Ascension scares\dont like a lot of people, but people aren't picking it because they want dom-sex (not the only reason for sure) and haven't understood anything "character theme" with their head. Things are different, complicated and there can't be just one theme. Everyone has their own emotions and life experiences. Stephen Rooney didn't dictate the character's theme like in class. Also, the BG3 game is positioned "...or make chaos in the world, you decide", "Great paths of evil". Hi's neutral Author to both endings. Evil and Good - you play hero or villain. Here's how I understand it.

layered and complex. For example: Poetic justice for neutral evil, in an evil way it is evil, and still complex (not black and white). Power (just any power) corrupts, ambition as Jupiter - dangerously. Freedom is nice, permissiveness - not so much (but this game is all nice).

But that's not what we're talking about. Here's a little essay, (a little emotional, but emotions are like that) why people do "Ascension" from a psychological point of view. START\\\

You know what, i wrote this "little" essay and decided to leave in some treads on Asc Astarion, because I got triggered and annoyed by this drama enough to feel like i need to share some thoughts about toxic vampire love thing in name of education for everyone. If you like it, feel free to repost it anywhere you want. (\\\N: which I do)

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally, (even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of asc Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head) and why it's also healing route for some players, and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1) A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner, and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also, you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart. Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me. 2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe. 3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc. 4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5) SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some. Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world, and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav, so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM-dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because, well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top :D Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway. Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self-reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f!ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life. Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path. It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ---. To heal others with their lethal dose of poison, it's hilarious /Sorry for the wall of text, sorry for grammar, English is not my first language/

\N: That's it. I hope this essay makes someone realize that those who choose Asc also have deep feelings, thoughts, and personal experiences in life. They have the right to think differently deep than most about video game, history, and any art. And discussing the canon to in different ways. It's Dark Fantasy, complex topics. So especially The Canon. I am enjoy learning new, different opinions. Also I hope this helps anyone who has felt uncomfortable with the toxic wave. I'm going to try very hard not to look at the responses to this post for my personal calmness. All the Best\

[gothmiqote]

dt spoilers kinda, varha/estinien stuff ofc ofc but it's msq plot related naturally :p

estinien being only Sort Of around for this expansion kills me lmao like he on the periphery and whatever it is he’s doing intersects with varha when it counts (fighting the cyberpunk army in the desert etc etc) he’s also just like. ostensibly doing who knows what the fuck between appearances?

after the events of ew those two were definitely around each other a Lot (seeing her friends disappear one by one like that will apparently lead to some nasty separation anxiety, who would have guessed) & getting on the separate boats to go west is probably the first meaningful amount of time they’ve been apart since. to a degree she’s like it’s fine I’ve got this handled, although I don’t uh. Think he told anyone Where he was going? so she probably knew he was going to be away for a bit but not how long exactly or even really where (which she actually is cool with for real, they’re both kinda Like That TM so it’s normal). So yes, she’s very much starting to feel the yearning & the pining & what have you by the time they randomly cross paths in the throne room again.

But thEN he just. Walks out? Just says some complimentary words and fucking Leaves? I like to think he’d end up stopping by her inn room or whatever later on but based on how he was for the entire expansion I don’t even know if he would actually stay the whole night 💀 which is frustrating for her but at this point nothing super weird. Or so she thinks anyway because some point after Krile pulls her aside and is like Hey is everyone cool? Like are you good? Because Varha considers her one of her closest friends & she likes to torment Estinien psychologically for sport she knows them pretty well. To which Varha is just ?? Of course we’re good why wouldn’t we be good? But it makes her think anyway. It does Not help that Wuk Lamat flat out asks if she knows who he is personally, because the greeting she got was apparently the kind you’d reserve for acquaintances.

By the time she’s on the mini road trip with Erenville she’s trying Very hard to not think about her relationship because she’s keenly aware of how good she is at making herself quietly spiral & twelve help her, they see him and he does it again. Says some weird shit to her and fucks off into the sunset. Shout out to Erenville for not commenting on the weird vibes that were absolutely happening here. & it’s at this point she’s also starting to get kind of upset for real? Tries to back track mentally between the moments of dealing with an active crisis and no, she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, he didn’t seem to like her any less when he left—but that doesn’t mean things don’t change, & for all she knows maybe he’s just decided that she’s become more trouble than it’s worth to know her intimately like that (she wouldn’t blame him, she’s aware of her baggage). What kind of send off is ‘go do what it is you do’? No ‘good luck, stay safe’ or anything even remotely close? She needs to be focused on current events so she makes herself tunnel visioned but it’s still on her mind.

Meanwhile this man decided after getting paid for keeping Wuk Lamat’s dad entertained he wanted to plan a little romantic wilderness excursion in Tural. It’s literally the exact opposite scenario she’s been dreading and picking up on, they both like ‘camping’ (for lack of a better term) & this is a new area to explore, he thinks it’s a great idea. And it is! A similar trip was the catalyst for the getting together in the Steppe, albeit that one was unplanned & nothing was official until after she got back from the first, but still. Unfortunately he’s just so singularly focused on this plan (he’s looking for some decent locations when they run into each other outside of the city) he’s legitimately unaware of how he’s coming off in the present. In his mind he’s just in a good mood, & will at some point let her know what he’s been quietly putting together for them. He just wants some sort of concrete plan in place before he stops being cagey. Like he’s just in a good headspace in a relationship he’s actually very happy in & that’s manifesting in ways that make sense for Him once you know what to look for. It’s like being around your crush, except you’ve been serious about each other for the better part of the last few years now & also you never really learned how to flirt ‘normally’ (I feel like Aymeric probably tried to help with this at some point in the distant past & eventually just gave up to let his weird friend be weird. Sometimes that’s as good as it gets) because you’ve never been much of an extrovert or particularly socially gifted, so it usually comes across either insanely awkward and/or painfully earnest when you do give it a shot. All that to say, he’s doing his best, it’s just filtered through his methods every single time.

And to be fair to him also, she’s competent as hell. He had zero reasons to think she’d need any more help with the contest stuff, his presence would 100% just be overkill. He’s not saying this because he feels like it’s objectively obvious. Unfortunately it is Not, she is fully not getting this impression from any of his actions & ultimately just ends up stewing quietly over it. Initially she’s annoyed but over time gets progressively more sad lmao. If you click on him before one of the few trials you can run with npcs he’s like “I saw a big lizard, I’m going to hunt it later” which is so very baffling to her. AGAIN no real commentary on her actual situation or that she might not come back through that portal. Run the lizard through a translator and he actually meant something to the effect of I know you’ll take care of this, so I’m not worried, & as soon as you do come back we’re going to grill that lizard meat for dinner. In HIS mind this is what’s coming out of his mouth in fewer words. She’s just tired lmfao.

Once everything is taken care of & there’s some downtime she’s finally able to pull him to the side and ask what his deal has been lately, has she done something without knowing, has she been pulling away unconsciously etc etc etc. His turn to be confused now. This legitimately only becomes a miscommunication issue because every single conversation got cut short until this one, which of course gives him ample time to explain what’s actually been happening & also no, he’s definitely not bored or unhappy or anything like that, he’s been enjoying the opportunity to try and orchestrate something nice for her (even if the execution wasn’t. The greatest) and honestly didn’t realize how it looked from the outside. He was very much talking her up at any given opportunity each time someone asked about her, to the point where it was inevitably deduced that his descriptions of the Warrior of Light were apparently a good deal more personal than other accounts. She’s effectively been on his mind in some capacity since he got here.

& She feels extra dumb for getting upset at all, because that’s actually incredibly sweet and it makes perfect sense when you lay it all out that way, in hindsight she didn’t need to get worked up and just feels weirdly guilty now. Varha has been in a small handful of situationships, she’s never actually been important enough to anyone for them to go out of their way for her like that (she’s never even really had friends up until recently, it’s all uncharted territory), she does not know how to properly interpret it when people just decide to do things for her because they like her. She reacts like an asshole (in her own opinion, literally no one else thought that she was anything aside from maybe a bit Off since she internalized everything so much). This does not make her feel particularly good either, she has unfortunately looped back around to kicking herself for missing the obvious.

& Estinien, being himself, is still not the best with words when it comes to this sort of thing. Because he knows he didn’t actually do anything wrong here, so he’s not experiencing misplaced guilt, but she’s clearly still upset on some level for misreading things and he doesn’t like that for her, especially when this conversation is almost definitely taking place on the sidelines of a post-battle celebration back in the city. He’s not coming up with anything directly helpful to the situation. He’s task-oriented, hardwired to look for solutions. The one he comes up with on the spot here is:

“Do you want to hunt the lizard together?”

Long pause. Yes, she does. She wants to hunt the big lizard together very much. It sounds like a good way to kick off a small wilderness excursion together. The big lizard does not fix her pre-existing self worth problems, but it’s definitely effective for the immediate situation (which is about the best he can hope for right now). Problem solved-ish, she seems happier & now they can bond over the big lizard hunt together. He’d honestly just be pleased to spend time together doing whatever but this is probably the best outcome of that whole situation. (Also he Does end up kissing her right there, partly to get people to stop pestering her with questions but mostly because he wants to.)

[fleursfairies]

i just read the silliest review for brokeback mountain

here are some quotes

"I can't relate to this at all. This is a film about the closet, but the two closeted queer men never vocally admit their queerness."

bro. its the 60s, they both, but especially ennis, have deep internalized homophobia, plus if they say it out loud then that makes it "real" AND they could literally die and jack DID

"It's two men, masculine, white, tough, cowboys, literal goddamned cowboys, whose identities are not (noticeably) wrapped up in their sexualities. And sure, people like this probably exist, but one of the worst parts of the closet was not being able to be who I am. And so, I can't relate to these guys."

wtf does this mean. just because they dont start shitting rainbows as soon as they realize their feelings for eachother doesn't make them any less real. they are who they are. even if they got to live in a world without homophobia together they would still be grumpy old cowboys.

"But, you ask, wasn't the point that they couldn't be who they were? And the answer is, no. The point was to make them as blandly straight as possible for mainstream Hollywood audiences so they might remotely identify with them somehow despite their (denied) queerness. The idea that they couldn't be who they really were is belied both by history and the fact that the bulk of their relationship takes place in the middle of nowhere. The point of their escapes into the wilderness was that they could be who they were--we could see their boyish play together especially in the beginning. So the least we deserved from this movie was a moment where their queerness was addressed frankly, directly, unavoidably, without all of the macho cowboy bullshit."

bro forgot that the only requirement for being gay is loving the same gender

macho cowboy bullshit is still queer if they love eachother!!!

"It avoids the issue in favor of making this about love instead of queerness."

????? im tired of some of yall tbh

idk if yall know this but some people can just live their lives and go with the flow

"I like love. I love love. But I want my queer love to be queer."

two men that kiss eachother so hard they almost break eachothers nose seems pretty queer to me

"A lot of heterosexual misery what about the poor straights bullshit."

? im thinking "awe i feel bad for alma" not "awe those poor straight people" this is such a wild thing to have to say but straight people can have meaningful storylines in queer movies.

anyways, macho cowboy bullshit = gay and dont let anyone tell you otherwise

[moongothic]

So I have a Crocodile theory that I've been sitting on for a while. I have absolutely nothing to prove any of it whatsoever, and the only thing that really propels me to believe in it is that I think it would be cool if it were true.

I think Crocodile may have gotten his start as a cabin boy for the Rocks Pirates the same way Shanks and Buggy got their start with Roger. The trust issues would naturally follow from the way the Rocks Pirates probably turned on each other immediately following Rocks' death during the God Valley Incident. Seeing the crew you grew up on turn in on itself would make anyone wary of trusting others I think. It might also explain a portion of the animosity he had for Whitebeard as well. Obviously a lot of it comes from their clash during Croc's warlord days, but it might explain why he was so eager to go after Whitebeard in the first place. Him being at God Valley would also provide a solid point where he could have run into Ivankov, and potentially where Ivankov could have gotten some dirt on him, depending on whatever that dirt ends up being in Canon.

Even wilder speculation, but I think Mihawk might have been there as well. The two just seem to have this weird, unexplained rapport that doesn't yield itself to a whole lot of options other than a previous connection. They get in a fight at Marineford, and Crocodile walks away alive despite him being well below Mihawk's level. Croc feels it's enough to just let Mihawk know he's "in a real bad mood" and that seems to do the trick. Mihawk is the first person Crocodile talks to about his Cross Guild venture, and Mihawk doesn't take long to take him up on it. And Mihawk, in general, also just kind of lets Crocodile talk at him a lot for someone who was introduced to us as a person who would hunt you down for just interrupting his nap.

Like I said, I don't have a shred of evidence for any of this at all, but I do think it would be cool, and might explain a few things.

"Would be cool if true" THIS IS WHAT FUN THEORIES ARE BASED ON 👏👏👏 We're HERE to get EXCITED about COOL IDEAS

Honestly I much prefer "random cabin boy for Xebec" over Xebec's son on just vibes alone, but also it'd make Crocodile losing interest on Whitebeard in Marineford much more palatable. Because if Whitebeard betrayed his dad on top of kicking his ass then surely he wouldn't assist in saving Ace, regardless of what his relationship with Luffy and/or the Revs may or may not have been. But if he was a cabin boy, yeah, that'd give him the trust issues but without it being THAT personal

Not sure if Mihawk would've been on the same ship though... IDK looking at the bby Shichibukai art, bby Hawk looks quite messy and disheveled compared to bby Croc- if they were raised in similar circumstances on Xebec' ship you'd think their art would look about the same. Also if I'm not misremembering, Crocodile would've been 9 during the God Valley incident, and Mihawk is 3 years younger than him so he would've been just 6. I dunno, if anything I'd be more willing to bet money on Moria having been on the ship with Crocodile instead (since he would've been like 13, and based on bby Moria's art he looks like he kinda matches with Crocodile, that said there's nothing to prove the two have any kind of shared history whatsoever)... But yeah, if Mihawk was 6 at the time, I kind of doubt they were BOTH on Xebec's ship

That said. I'm fucking sure Crocodile and Mihawk have SOME kind of shared history. There's gotta be fucking SOMETHING, at SOME POINT, because yeah, as you said

Crocodile telling Mihawk he's in a shit mood is a passable warning to give to from like One Dangerous Warlord to Another, but it takes on a whole different tone if they knew each other a bit closer

Who knows, maybe they were both cabin boys on the same ship for someone else a few years later though, hell, for all we know Mihawk could've been on Crocodile's crew for a time

Also based on Kuma's flashback, we do see Kuma visit Mihawk's island in chapter 1099, and in 1100 when Mihawk sees the news of Kuma joining, he's awfully quiet. So if Mihawk and Kuma may have known each other even just briefly, yeah. Why the fuck couldn't Mihawk and Crocodile have some history too.

There's also this bit from Croc and Hawk's phonecall that interests me

The "..." in the flashback panel

Like it's very normal for Oda to signal a character is thinking about something without saying anything about it by doing the little "..." (for example, Robin would've been well-aware of Moria as she did work for a Warlord herself, making this panel from Thriller Bark quite interesting), hell the phonecall flashback both begins and ends with Mihawk having simple "..." thought bubbles as he's thinking back to it

But the fact that he's Having A Thought about Crocodile being like "we're the same bro"... Oh they gotta have somekinda shared backstory somewhere, they've gotta, surely

And indeed, despite the fact that the two aren't supposed to trust anyone, they sure seem to trust each other enough to start a marine hunting organization together

(Also an interesting detail that, since we know they both hate the Marines a lot, so them starting an organization with that shared goal is just. Yeah. Interesting.)

One additional note I wanted to make because I just noticed this while browsing the Wiki; of the OG Warlords Mihawk is one of the few who we have no idea when he joined the Shichibukai, the only other one being Moria

I really would be curious to hear when and how Mihawk joined, 'cause for all we know, he might've joined around the same time Crocodile did, which would definitely be interesting...

Man. Like I'm not particularly interested in Mihawk's backstory on its own, but if his backstory was somehow tied to Crocodile's... Oh I'd absolutely love to hear it. ODA PLEASE, SPILL THE BEANS

[imaginedreamwrite]

Since today is headcanon kinda day, I would like to suggest something I thought about few weeks ago.

I was hit by nostalgia and rewatched few videos about bookcanon of Game of Thrones. One of them was about real size of Winterfell and it made me think about Exile.

I don't know if the castle in the Exile is big - you didn't specify it I think (but maybe, I should re-read it since it is one my favorite fics of yours), but... If it is big or there is free space, my headcanon is that Steve would plant a little forest within castle walls like a godswood in GOT universe. He knows that Reader would be content living in the forest for the rest of her life if she wasn't stolen by him. Her connection to nature, her ability to live off the resources the forest provided fascinated Steve and (I think) he would want her to have that land of solitude, where her soul could rest. So, he would ask to plant lots young trees as a start (I think it was possible even in medieval times to replant trees that has grown for some time), maybe also some wild flowers and forest berries to create beautiful glade in the center of the forest.

idk - but reading how devoted Steve is and how much he loves Reader even when she fights with him, made me think he absolutely would do that for her.

(Tumblr, please, don't make the ask disappear 😢)

While I didn’t specify how big it was, I love this idea of Steve giving her her own forest in the interior grounds of the castle. Its her own private escape and it helps mend bridges between them

“I told you not to look.”

“I told you I’d cut your hand off and feed it to the crocodiles.” You spur him and his attempt to scold you almost playfully, and jut back against him when he gets a little too close to your back.

And that still doesn’t stop him.

“There’s no crocodiles in this area.” Despite your warning, Steve still leans in close enough to whisper in your ear, a husky drone that elicits a shiver.

“Where are you taking me anyway? To a torture chamber? A bottomless pit?” Your spite draws a laugh from him and with his hands still covering your eyes you’re forced to put a little faith and trust in him.

“I think I’ll suspend you from the tower, make an example of you.” The teasing continues and Steve is decidingly coy about how eased he is now, and much to your dismay you find yourself relaxing around him.

Instead of commenting on the teasing nature as you perhaps should have, you avoided the immediate easement of your relationship to comment on the surprise that he had for you.

“What are you doing? Where are you taking me? And if you don’t tell me in the next few minutes, I’m going to-”

“A surprise, spitfire.” Steve embraced you fully, drawing his hands from your eyes to place them on your hips, and as your vision had come to fruition you had seen an encased forest and meadow before you.

“Your own private meadow and wilderness. Somewhere for you to feel safe with nature while being home-”

“I remember these flowers.” You departed from him immediately, drawing toward a bushel of petals and greenery that reminded you of the brook you’d cross every morning on your walk.

“And these vines…” you were at a loss for words, truly and wholly unaware of how much detail Steve had picked up on when he heard you talk about missing your freedom away from this all.

It was overwhelming to see it, no small amount of space for you to experience life as you once had and yet you were safely nestled within the confines of the castle walls. It was endless, a seamless and even compromise between the nature that raised you and the man who would be your husband.

“Steve-” you turned on your heel, silence befalling you as you watched him, gazed at him with some unreserved and unfiltered emotional shift reflecting in your eyes.

It was as if you were seeing him cast in an entirely new light, as if every ounce of bitterness had been carved away to reveal true person lingering beneath his animosity and heavy guard he had held in place.

“Do you…want to walk with me?” It wasn’t what you really wished to say, but it was something akin to the truth bubbling on your tongue.

[tuiyla]

when first watching yellowjackets i was expecting jackie to be on the receiving end of some sort of cool twist. she ends up actually becoming antler queen, she’s still alive in the present day and is actually the one who sent the postcards, whatever. but the way she actually went made so much more sense tbh. they fought, they were both too stubborn to go talk to one another after. what happened afterwards so easily could have been prevented. on any other night out there in the woods jackie would have made it through the night and probably made amends w shauna eventually. neither her nor shauna had any idea it was going to snow 😭 i’m honestly so glad they went that route instead of something else because i think it makes shauna’s character and her relationship w jackie so much more devastating.

I couldn't wait to learn more about Jackie's fate but I always hoped it would end up being... banal, almost. But that's exactly why it feels fresh and novel because it's not some noble sacrifice or grandiose moment and like you I think it makes way more sense.

Because, if you're Shauna, how do you get over that? Even before we consider what later seasons will explore regarding other things that happened in the wilderness. And that's just it because if you're Shauna you don't get over that. You're forever haunted by a stupid argument that deffo did have stakes even outside of typical teen drama because don't get me wrong, that convo was raw as fuck and they threw very real things at each other. But, at the end of the day, even the stakes of that argument paled in comparison to their brutal situation. Because you can't act like you would at home, deciding to stay mad at your best friend even though you're stranded and it's Northern Ontario and Jackie doesn't even have the basic survival skills like making fire. And so she freezes even though she didn't have to, even though there was shelter right there. But nature doesn't give a fuck that the girlies are fighting or that both are too proud to resolve this conflict that same evening. That's the harsh reality of the Yellowjackets and of course Jackie would be the first to go this way. The first to die simply because they refused to adapt to that harsh reality.

I'm obsessed with how Jackie represents their old life, both while in the wilderness and of course 25 years later. Jackie is their team captain but she can't hold them together when she's out of her element. Everyone else finds their Thing but Jackie just can't exist in this new world. Looked at another way, she also represents the good side of what they left behind. I was surprised to see how many people wrote Jackie off as the stereotypical Queen Bee and mean girl when she isn't that archetype at all for me. Maybe a bit, yeah, by nature of being the popular girl and team captain but I'm used to the Santana Lopezes of the world (jk there's only one Her) so Jackie was just a normal teenage girl to me. That's the beauty and tragedy of it, because she is the normal teen girl who refuses to let go of real world norms and give in to nature. She's annoying when that manifests in not doing the chores and getting her hands dirty, sure, but she's pretty much the only sane one when the madness starts and she clings to these societal norms. (Natalie is the other sane one but that's another discussion.)

When Jackie dies, it's much more powerful than any twist could have been. Much more powerful than her living or becoming a driving force in the cult stuff. It's simple. It's nature, it's death. It's the first fall of snow and it's the death of the old world order. It's infuriatingly evitable. But, at the same time, it had to happen because of what it symbolizes. Yeah the girls, any of the girls actually could have just realized that Jackie sleeping outside was stupid af and that nature doesn't care about the girlies fighting it will kill anyone who's unprepared. And Jackie was the embodiment of being unprepared. But that's the rawness and sickness and brilliance of it, that no one did go out for Jackie. And Jackie didn't go in because she still lived in New Jersey and for that, she had to die. For Shauna, her last convo with Jackie will never not be that. The fact that she so easily could have saved Jackie will never not hang over her. She lives in the shell of Jackie Taylor's life and refuses to not do that because Jackie will never not be a part of her - or rather, idk if Shauna will ever view herself as not a part of Jackie.

I'm just obsessed with girls who haunt the narrative, ask anyone who's heard me go on about Twin Peaks or Life Is Strange (Before the Storm). Jackie is such a cool character and her and Shauna's bond so messed up and so delicious. I'm just rambling about all these random thoughts I have om Yellowjackets but basically YES I love how this show just makes so much sense thematically and that should really be a given in storytelling but damn does it feel good to actually have it.

[aran-ryan-herigate-posts]

Aran Ryan fanbase headcanons 2 -RESULTS-

And finally we have the results!

I was surprised to see some shared headcanons from the past!!!

Let's begin!!!

Can Aran speak Irish (Gaelic)?

44,4 % : Yes and he is very fluent

Is Aran liked/supported by his in-universe fans of the WVBA?

55,6% : Both of them are douchbags and true supporters

OPEN QUESTION of: Is Aran liked/supported by his in-universe fans of the WVBA?

He is genuinely adored by some, who go out of their way to defend his actions and paint him as a better person than he his, but others like him as a villain and others still think of him as a joke and only like him because of that.

yes and they want to see what other ideas he comes up with, maybe he gets mail from them where they share their ideas

It's a mixed bag- You have those the genuinely support him, others who started supporting him as joke & now can't stop, those who support him as a joke only, & unfortunately some who only support him as a justification for being an asshat.

he has fans on either side some fans are douchebags and some are like us on tumblr calling him a silly goose

I can see some if his fans being douchebags by saying, you ruined boxing, cheater or you're fecking crazy,

They’re either bloodthirsty, Irish or just want to watch matches.

Most of them love his crazy behavior and generally think of him as some maniac that escaped Dublin prison and got in by his unorthodox fighting style (which didn’t happen at all, Aran did a bit of fighting before WVBA but he got in clean imo.) Aran tries to distance himself from his troublesome fans, simply because he dislikes rumors made by him. Some of his fans are genuinely supportive and like seeing him and his antics, and think he could genuinely become champion if he stopped cheating.

Probably

It’s a 50/50 chance, but it’s likely no since the people don’t like masochists in the ring

I'm not sure but there's a probably a minority that actually likes and they're a true fan

I’ve got a feeling he doesn’t have a lot of fans who would actually come up to him since they’ve seen what he’s like in the ring, so they usually just watch him from afar if they see him in public

I think there are both fans that adore his cheating, but the vast majority thinks he takes it too far in some ways (i.e attacking the ref and aggressive taunting during intermissions), even by WVBA standards bc lets be real, almost EVERYONE cheats.

Yes but in the way of "this guy is a car crash in motion I want to see it get even wilder"

i put my amswer under his fans imitate him but more so because they want to grab his attention. thus they end up being more crazy the guy himself

Who do you ship with Aran? And why? WARNING: ships with minors are NOT allowed as Aran is a 23 years old (before someone made me noticed, I accidentally wrote 25 yrs)

don flamenco i just see them as having a rivals-to-lovers kind of thing tbh

I mainly ship Joe/Aran, but I also like him with Narcis Prince. Other ships with him I don't exactly mind, but aren't my thing.

narcis, i just ended up thinking the idea is funny, both are assholes, narcis would find it funny to see who arans pulls pranks to, i want a man for aran who is just as mean as he is (almost)

I ship Aran Ryan with Glass Joe & will not apologize for it. I'm an absolute sucker for opposites attract type ships.

Hondo

Soda Popinski: seeing him as a giant, bubbly, gentle (outside the ring) Russian man who hasn't dated anyone, with Aran as a feral and insane Irish man who's dated many in the past is a good relationship. Headcannon that Soda had a crush on him before making a move

Narcis.

Aran Ryan/Glass Joe and Aran Ryan/Don Flamenco or even Aran/Joe/Don

Yes, I ship him Narciss. (Also isn't Aran 23?)

Don Flamenco. IDC if they don’t talk to each other in the game, these two are cute with each and it’s pretty much why I like shipping this.

Wait he's 25?? I thought he was 23??

Personally I don’t ship him with anyone ✋

im not big on shipping but narcis x aran is pretty funny in concept !! just the idea of two (id imagine) rivals who are eventually shocked to find out they like eachother is also Good. bonus points if neither of them know how to go about expressing love.

Aradon. Aradon all the way. Because I'm very normal about Don and Aran's dynamic.

Piston Hondo. I feel like they've got an opposites attract kinda deal that mutually benefits them. Hondo benefits Aran by keeping his violent behavior at bay and helping him explore healthier ways of getting out his frustration. Aran benefits Hondo by getting him to loosen up when he's not actively working and making sure he's not overexerting himself in his rigorous training.

Don bc the dynamic is interesting and Joe bc the dynamic is funny to me💀

Don Flamenco

don! (unrelated but i cant believe that guy is balding at 23)

LGBTQ+ headcanons

pansexual cis man (he/him)

Trans man and bisexual, my mans is NOT cis

he doesnt use labels, he just shrugs if anyone asks or says "im aran"

Either Bisexual or Pansexual with no real leanings & Cis, but couldn't really give a shit what pronouns you call him.

bisexual and SOMETIMES uses they/them pronouns. but only when he feels like sludge (in a good way)

Pansexual

Bi as hell

Aran is Bisexual/Pansexual, and doesn’t really mind any pronouns used as long as they are respectful. Open to poly relationships.

Pansexual and genderqueer AF

Guy’s an angry bisexual who may or may not show his bi feelings to others (usually the ones he adores)

None

Probably straight or questioning aroace

nonbinary in a ''a boy but not really'' way

He's bi, he told me himself.

I like the idea of him being pan.

Pan, any hole's a goal for Aran

he's trans & somewhere in the bi/pan spectrum

hes pan and transmasc to me <3

What kind of pet does he have (if any)?

a black cat named lucky! she’s his pride and joy.

A border collie/Australian Shepard mix named cu chulainn

i havent thought about that yet, but in my ship narcis might gets a cat and aran has slap fights with it

He's got a scruffy old orange cat who he loves dearly- Baby is like 12 years old & he absolutely cherishes them.

dog

None

23 rats

Aran loves ferrets, and could break his entire bank just carrying for them. He spends four hours each day playing with them and making sure they get exercise. He once screamed at a woman who watched them while he was away in the USA who fed them nothing but pellets to one of them, they were fine after. (Aran owns four, two boys two girls. He keeps them in separate cages to prevent a surprise business popping up.) He would die for them.

Yes, a puppy named "Empanada"

He’d probably have a German Shepherd and a Kerry Blue Terrier

I don't know, I don't think he's a type of guy to have a pet for a long time

He’d definitely have a pet rat, probably named it something like poison or something to make it seem dangerous

i can see him as a dog person, especially very active dogs that need a ton of long walks. it helps him unwind. Also hed want a smart dog as well that he can teach to annoy people with. why? bc hes aran ryan.

So first off, I have no proofs but no doubts that Aran is a dog person. I love someone's headcanon of him having an Irish Wolfhound? I think? way too much. These puppers are huge, straight up Aran's alley imo. But I also adore the idea of him having a little pet rat, that only the closest of people and relatives know about.

RATS! He has 3 and he takes very good care of them.

He's got an old ass dog he's had since childhood that just lays around like a lazy sack of flour, but not because of age, the dog was just always like that. Its also probably a medium or smaller breed

no actual pets, but he has a soft spot for any strays he passes by

a black cat! (ironic, considering his whole luck schtick)

Why is Aran associated with luck symbolism?

i honestly don’t know, it’s just kind of a thing ig

Partially because of Irish stereotypes but mostly because he genuinely surrounds himself with such symbols out of paranoia. He cannot leave his home without wearing at least one object he considers 'lucky' to some degree.

ireland LMAO

Irony. He honesty considers himself extremely unlucky, but what's better for recognition than an Irish Man with a shamrock?

he's an overall lucky person. he steps out into the rain and either doesn't get wet or looks good afterwards

Idk, cause he's irish.

Irish

Aran keeps luck close to help himself motivate. He loves using both good and bad luck charms to his favor. (He’ll keep clovers in his locker and try to give the other boxers bad luck by breaking mirrors, placing ladders, etc. Not black cats though, as he knows that’s a myth.)

Cause it's a miracle he hasn't been banned from they WVBA yet

Guy thinks it’s a good idea to have luck on his side so that he could win many boxing fights

Somebody or some mythical creature decided to put a both curse and a blessing on him

Uhh I don’t rlly know I think it’s about since he’s Irish and they have 4 leaf clovers and the lucky number seven????

luck of irish, of course! also the fact its a miracle he hasnt been suspended yet from boxing

I like to think it's because he's always been this lucky bastard- he's a huge bastard, but he also always had this immense luck on his side for as long as he lived for some weird reason.

He's bad luck if you piss him off, but good luck if you befriend him :)

Teehee four leaf clover!! Haha irish!!!

i'd say just because he's irish. wish it could be deeper but idk

irish stereotype.....

Why did Aran decide to join the WVBA?

tbh i haven’t figured that part out for him yet-

Because they pay well and he finds the work interesting compared to other boxing leagues.

he needs to let that energy out somewhere, he can actually box and does exercise but ended up wanting more and has no patience ya know

It was a childhood dream of his to become a boxer.

"Yer' meanin to tell me, i can get paid for beatin' guys in alleyways? 'Ell yeah, where can i sign up!?"

Wanted to leave his country, away from his baf past and parents. Wanted to prove to everyone and his old folks.

Honestly? So he could have the thrill of the fight without getting into trouble.

Aran wanted to distance himself from Dublin and shoot his shot in the boxing world after developing both a skill and dependence on it to fight his bullies.

To beat the crap out of people

Mostly his skills in boxing and his persuasion to the WVBA, also he wants in because of the money

He joined as a clean and sane fighter, but as a years goes on he goes crazy and began to cheat just like the other fighters.

To just beat the shit out of everyone ig

i imagine he doesnt consider himself particularly fit for smth like an office job (despite his wide vocabulary) so he took up boxing to unwind but ended up having a real knack for it. mix that with his prankster, combative personality and youve got aran ryan. i also imagine hed join a boxing association that was more lenient towards the rules

See, I'm pretty sure it's all written in his SPO poster. Dude got so fed up with all the endless teasing that he just snapped at some point, this point being a mention of his mother.

He probably got into a fight somewhere in Dublin, won by a landslide, and a random WVBA rep approached him to offer the job.

Bc the WVBA PAYS him to fight! Aran Ryan LOVE a good brawl!

work, perhaps? I'd imagine he was scrappy & caused fights in the streets, i have a feeling he saw a flyer for the WBVA one day and just thought "yeah, why not"

fatherless behavior /j (he had always been interested in boxing! then super punch out happened so now hes the biggest cheater in the ring just for the adrenaline rush)

silly momentum: Did Aran punch an Italian DJ???

50%: What

it's a reference about an infamous Irish boxer (like Aran) who punched an Italian dj (I won't tell who is he bc I am scared to see him jumping in my house and hit me lol)

How is Aran's relationship with his family?

pretty good! though his father’s no longer around so uh that’s something.

Very, very good. He loves just about everyone in his family with his entire heart (Except his mother's mother and older sister) and hates being away from them for too long. He's close with his parents, grandma, and younger siblings and would hate to be without them in his life.

imo pretty good! but in my canon, his parents are divorced but he loves his mom very much, same for his sis

VERY CLOSE- He's got his mother & baby sister, & god help anyone who decides to fuck with either.

mostly good, he has a sister and a mother but his father ran off when he was a kid and is entirely ready to BEAT HIS ASS

He has a terrible relationship with his dad, an alcoholic and abuser. He was very tough and strict as well. Aran got his drinking, cheating and shoplifting from his dad, he started at 15. He was able to provide for the family and living. He's a but sour with his mom because she stayed with his father; but only for the money and being able to live in a house. If they divorced, she loses everything and won't be able to find a job. But she still loves her family. Aran loves his sister, Daisy, he would do anything for her not to be like himself or their dad. Would protect her. He couldn't bring Daisy along because she was in custody with the parents, and he couldn't win. The reason he snuck out with his old Irish friends and went to box in the WVBA was to get away from his parents. He really doesn't want to come back, and ESPECIALLY doesn't want to talk about them.

His sister and pa are close, but his mam is so distant that his sister filled in the maternal role for him.

Strained, but due to forces that were out of their control. He keeps close with them but things can be hard for them to get along.

Good...I guess..

Has an estranged relationship with his mother, in somewhat neutral terms with his father, and in genuine, loving terms and a healthy relationship with his sister

He loves them I think, despite the fact the games mentioned them being a bad example to his life

Has a close connection with his mammy and da and has a really good brother-sister bond with his sister

aran's has a mom and dad, and a lot of siblings. theyre VERY close but also very lenient, hence why aran's so out of control. aran could cause the end of the world and his parents would still say ''thats our boy!''. they also rib eachother constantly (its how they show affection), and aran does this to everyone around him, stranger or not. not necessarily very close to all his siblings, but would still take a bullet for them. in short: mess with his family, and youre DEAD.

Aran's a huge mama's boy; he *loves* his ma. I mean, if you think about it she is a part of his fame, she's one of the few people he's got left of his family. He also got a sis... with which they still fight about absolutely silly and not-worth-fighting-over things.

He loves his family! Except his dad that walked out, but he had an uncle who filled the spot instead.

Parents #suck or otherwise not in the picture so he's taking care of the sister on his own (barely🙄)

good with his mom & sister, but is pretty distant from his dad. feel like he had another father figure pre-WBVA but that's my own lil thing for him.

hes on good terms with his sister, doesnt talk to his mother and his dad is dead

Who are Aran's friends?

tiger, hondo (to some degree), soda, maybe a couple others that i’m forgetting tbh

The rest of the world circuit, without a doubt, alongside Glass Joe, and Disco Kid.

probably disco, SMM, heike, some bitches he met at a pub, he is part of a biker gang in my version btw, also narcis is not only his bf but also his BFF

Joe, Lil Mac, Bear Hugger, Soda, & Bull. Sometimes Doc & Sandman. (Sandman doesn't always wanna put up with him & Doc is only really friends by proxy as he wants to ensure Mac's safety.)

everyone in the wvba is his friend, despite him being pretty much a constant annoyance

He has some old 4 Irish folks back in the day, In WVBA: Great Tiger, Bald bull, SMM, Mr Sandman (sometimes if Aran doesn't get on his nerves)

The Minor circuit, Heike and Mac

I definitely feel he can be friends with Soda Pop, and has a bit of a friendship with Bear Hugger. Don and him have a big of a friendship, but it’s been strained due to Aran fighting to keep his place in the World Circuit. Glass Joe talks to him sometimes, but has a small fear of him.

Soda Popinski and Disco Kid

Bear Hugger, Soda Popinski, Dragon Chan, Heike Kagero, Disco Kid, Rick Bruiser (don’t ask), and Piston Hurricane

I'm not sure how his friends, but he's acquainted with Great Tiger, because they both hate Narcis Prince.

I think that he’s not close with a lot of people but maybe soda popinski and don? Aran and Dons relationship is definitely being frenimies with the whole finding out his hair is a toupee. And soda popinski and Aran just drink together all the time and just spill secrets to eachother

soda popinski, bc he can handle his... quirky personality. Plus, they go to clubs to dance together, along w/ disco kid. speaking of which, he surprisingly gets along pretty well with disco kid, they bond over their music tastes, even if theyre radically different. they also collab on music together sometimes, with aran writing the lyrics and disco doing the instrumentals. they have a lot of creative differences however, but despite that, they remain friends.

The only person I can think of that may have been more-or-less of a friend to Aran ever is Soda. They've been great drinking buddies since the dawn of time, and can be real with each other only when they're drunk as all hell. They don't want anything to do with each other when they're sober tho.

He, Glass Joe, and Don Flamenco are besties. They annoy the ever-living daylights out of each other, but they're hilarious when they hang out together.

Little Mac bc I read a fic where they became best buddies and it changed my brain chemistry, and Disco Kid bc I read a fic where the they were friends but it wasn't the main focus which also altered my brain chemistry

soda, per techicality as I said in the last pole but close enough. he also sometimes crashes with the rest of minor / major on occasions but "friends" would be a strong word

hondo, bear, disco, bull (maybe), don, tiger

Who are Aran's rivals?

macho (pure hatred tbh), don (former rival, now his lover LMAO)

Narcis prince and Don are semi-rivals, their relationships with him at least starting out as hostile. Snes Aran and him also don't get along and neither do him and Von Kaiser for a long time.

joe LMAO, he just bullies him, maybe kaiser, both are chickenshits, he also teases don sometimes but he just thinks its funny, he doesnt hate him

Hondo, Tiger (They mostly just tolerate eachother), Don, Macho Man, Bald Bull on occasion, Von Kaiser & Disco Kid (Only because they're both terrified of Aran & worry for Joe's safety.)

mostly Mac, (still sort of salty about the fight) and Joe (knows he can't fight back)

Don Flamico and Narcis Prince (his ex)

Don, Narcis and Macho (last one is one-sided on Macho’s part)

Narcis Prince is the biggest member of the “BOO ARAN” club. He didn’t like him much when Aran first got in, but he genuinely thinks he’s insane now. Don Flamenco’s there too, but wishes they could go back to being friends. Piston Hondo, Von Kaiser, Super Macho Man, Sandman. The lad has made a lot of enemies.

Literally everybody else

Little Mac (obviously), Von Kaiser, Great Tiger, Narcis Prince, Super Macho Man, Bald Bull, Piston Hondo, and Mr. Sandman

As stated above Narcis Prince, and probably the world Circuit and Don Flamenco

Definitely Joe. They’d definitely throw mean comments at eachother or snobby remarks (mostly from joe) there would be a bunch of back and forth (aran usually the one screaming at him) I just think it’s a funny dynamic of them always having something to fight about

super macho man, aran loves messing w/ the guy while seeing him as an equal competitor. great tiger and piston hondo specifically are his prankster rivals and on friendlier terms w/ him that the rest of the WVBA. a combative personality WILL lend you some enemies, surprisingly.

The entirety of WVBA, of course.

Everyone in the world circuit. Being way younger and not being around as long as they have, he's definitely not as close with them as they are with each other. They're not purposely trying to exclude him by any means, they just have trouble relating to him most of the time.

Narcis prince because hating the British is something that runs deep in Aran's blood. also him and Hondo HAVE to have beef their alignments clash so hard

i'd imagine he'd have some beef with super macho man, considering they've mostly been together in the world circuit i like to think aran likes to get under macho's nerves. i'd even say its a similar case with narcis prince, but thats a bit more.. playful? ik smm takes it personally

super macho man

Most iconic Aran made by a fan?

umm idk?

Not sure if you mean fanart or charatrization, but I do like the Aran by 'ask-the-ryans' on tumblr

any commissions people made for me, any art that contains my ship is super iconic

The interactive choose your own adventure Aran where he was just his head on two stick figure legs. Best post, glad I was apart of that & got to witness it in real time. Tumblr be wildin'

all of them are neat !!!!!!!

They give him nicknames, irish man, lucky rabbit, lucky lad, insane irish boxer, and from douchebags and hater, rat.

The one in Sportsmanship (read it on AO3)

I genuinely think that almost every user on Tumblr has a based Aran.

Idk?

IDK

Ask-the-ryans blog by pulpa-de-gorila!!

Definitely the ask.the.Ryan’s blog . Their actually so talented and the way they draw Aran is amazing 😮‼️❣️

that one drawing made by pulporilla of macho man jealously announcing that aran is on the sexypedia, w/ aran being bare ass naked saying ''the what''

PulpaGorilla's Aran. Definitely.

That rabies pride art. I don't know how those two things managed to cross paths, but someone put them together and it is GLORIOUS.

Idk

pulpa-de-gorila / ask-the-ryans on tumblr!!! i sometimes study their art when i draw aran cuz i swear their stuff could be official art its that good. & also shoutout for mossea on tumblr aswell for being so shaped

i genuinely forgot their name but there was this one aran fanart with vibrant colors and it was Very Shaped and i think about it frequently

Best video ever made about Aran Ryan?

literally all of them

I cannot choose one so you get 3 https://youtu.be/RZTRpgjrMqc https://youtu.be/QgErxUeAeAU https://youtu.be/LPeq5_WSaas

i dont know tbh

i don't really watch videos on aran but i remember the deepfried aran fight and thought that was funny

Throwing the ref and knocking him the fuck out.

The infractions one

Fully Baked video talking about why is his fave

The one where the guy lists his 20+ infractions

"Why Aran Ryan is my Favorite Punch-Out Fighter" by Fully Baked

The old YTP’s‼️🔛🔝

That one, by kazooyah: https://www.tumblr.com/kazooyah/185687150065/so-this-is-what-i-do-in-my-spare-time. I've stumbled upon this vid way back im 2021, and I still think about this video daily.

The bus video gets me every time.

bumble mcfumbles's punch-out cheaters video, it's iconic at this point

"whos the biggest cheater in the wvba?"

Put here your thoughts about Aran

my favourite rat bastard tbh, i stole his name and it’s now my third/fourth online name hehe

Aran is a horrible gremlin man who is also my baby boy who I'd die for.

he is very hot and cute and the only character that got me here

I picture Aran as this outwardly abrasive guy- He let's as many people in as he let's those who wrong him go unpunished, which is to say little to none. He's got his reasons for cheating & while he won't share those reasons, it's a hill he's more than willing to die on. If you ever managed to get past the massive amount of walls he's put up, you'd find he's actually a very caring, creative, & intelligent person.

the spoinky woinky!!!!!!

Feral rat man.

silly :3 also what is that hairstyle bro

cheeseburgers. cheeseburgers everywhere. All jokes aside, one of the most interesting boxers in Punch Out. Him or Sandman should be in Smash Bros.

The half-rat half-irish cheating bastard that I love

Guy has so much personality to him. If a new Punch Out games come, please have Aran back, I’d die if he isn’t.

I like him as a character, but if he was a person, I wouldn't go near him as he is bad example

Funny as fuck dude Aran Ryan is 🔛🔝‼️

definitely one of the most iconic characters in the game, and for a good reason. hes funny, his fight is very unique in regards to timing your punches, his voice acting is great, hes got a solid, sharp design, and i love seeing the insane capers he comes up with. a HUGE step up from the SNES version. also hes hot.

dude's so mecore fr

He's a riot, that's for sure.

I like that dude I want to watch him be beaten to a pulp i need to see him sobbing shaking begging for his life

they can't just put an almost normal person / insane cheater among magic users, the most yoked guys i've ever seen, and king hippo and expect me to NOT be my favorite. c'mon now

RAAAGFHGHGHRGGFGRRGRGHHGHARGHGEGRGRGRGERGRGGEGHHGGEHEGRGGRHRHRGRHRHHFFFFHGGRH (i need to grind him with a mortar and pestle)

Other headcanons 

His flail is named Macha, named after an Irish goddess of war, death, and horses

he makes shit doodles of himself or his friends and his bf

Here's my headcanon for why Aran cheats- Aran immigrated to the US as a child & his father passed away shortly after his sister was born- He becomes the breadwinner when his mother gets sick & now in order to support his family & cover their medical bills, he cheats & places illegal bets on his own fights. He keeps this fact increadibly close to his chest & absolutely hates asking for help.

he likes to knit :)

He graffitis everywhere in the WVBA, either paint brush or marker. Ref, janitors and some boxers are tired of this shit. He also pranks most of the boxers in the WVBA.

He can whistle and sing beautifuly.

Guy gets drunk after sipping like 5 shots of Guinness, He’s a dog person, Good Enough Cook, and Rage Quit when he losses at video games.

He can complete Pizza Tower if it was real in his universe (not as a game, but a real tower)

Definitely stole a shopping cart from somewhere once or twice while he was drunk

hes great a rhyming and uses it to annoy people. he is also disco kid's and soda's dancing buddy, they always KILL it on the dance floor. has made sea shanty diss tracks with disco kid. does everything to embarrass macho man in front of ladies and the press. loves drum and base music, as well as sea shanties. has begged every non-english boxer at some point to PLEAAASE teach him some new curse words.

Now, I don't have any miscellaneous headcanons, I just wanted to say thanks to the Mod and anons for an awesome survey here, hope that's okay-

I've been thinking about him actively seeking therapy. Not for his insanity (God forbid we fix that part) but for things he keeps better under wraps (anxiety, depression, self-image, etc.

Second he gets home the pants come off, you can SEE every time he left the house the past week bc he didn't pick up them drawers after he dropped them. Dude HAS to have something to watch while he eats, food ritual is he's always sat on the couch, paper plate of food he has to hold otherwise his old ass dog tries to steal a bite, his own ground gripper dawgs out on the narsty carpet, TV playing trash reality shows way too loud, either shirtless or pantless, usually drinking pop with whatever he's eating. OH WAIT YEAH ALSO Aran's the type of guy to watch trash reality TV bc watching any dumb confrontations either verbal or physical is very fun and funny for him🤪

miiight of said this in the last survey but i fully believe that aran, although born in ireland, currently resides somewhere in new jersey

one time his friends in the wvba held a suprise birthday party for him and he tried SO hard not to cry (and failed lol)

[triskhellion]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @dear-massacre

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty-one. Twenty fics and one weird standalone soundtrack, lol.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

195,750.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Teen Wolf so far, but I maybe I'll get around to some ideas I have for The Sandman or something else one day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Thunder (Sterek. 12.1k. Explicit. Depressed loner Derek meets on-the-run Werefox/Kitsune Stiles in rural Montana.)

The Cold Moon (Sterek, 40.6k. Explicit. Part one of a story where Stiles is forced across a mysterious boundary by Hunters and encounters a semi-feral Alpha Derek. My first published fic.)

Second Chance Strays (Sterek, 8.5k. Explicit. Mage Stiles, Derek, & Larem the deer alone in the wilderness. A Fuck or Die situation ensues when a darach attacks.)

CLAIM! (Sterek, 11.9k, Explicit. Misunderstandings and making up after Derek & Stiles meet at Jungle and hook-up.)

Customer Service (Sterek, 10.9k. Explicit. Surly barista omega Derek and human college student Stiles. Banter, vulgar latte art, and heat sex. Dominant Derek, Service Top Stiles.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a while, but comments are appreciated and I know I like getting responses.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess Amīca (Derissa) because it's an unresolved pre-relationship fic that's meant to be the first In a series. I've been a happy ending gal, so no real angsty ones so far. The angst is in the beginning and/or middle!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The rest of them? 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet. Knocks on wood.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Most of my fics have smut at some point, lol. Or belong to series that do/will.

Um, barebacking and creampie/breeding. Cum eating or play and marking in general, including hickeys and biting.

Virgin/first time bottoming, praise kink, light degradation, and knotting are also in a number of stories. Some spanking, bondage and pinning, and generally low-key dominance and submission. Chasing and claiming and a few omegaverse or just self-lubrication. (I have plans for more.)

All M/M or M/M/M so far, but I have WIPs and notes with other combinations. I have a bunch of Kinktober bits from 2022 to turn into fics that I'm both nervous and excited about. And lots of other ideas too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet, but I have a summary for a Sterek Teen Wolf/The Sandman crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Sounds both fun and kinda scary.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sterek is what finally got me into fanfiction and the whole shipping fandom thing a few years ago, so I gotta go with them. I enjoy a bunch of others from Teen Wolf too (especially Steter, Stetopher, and Sterek + various people) and from other fandoms.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I currently intend to finish all my WIPs, but who knows what the future will hold. I have 3 posted WIPs that I definitely plan to complete: The Wolf Moon, The Depths, and 15 Shades of Red. I have dozens of unposted ones that I also hope to finish...eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Apparently dialogue, world building, characters' inner thoughts, and being funny sometimes. Coming up with ideas.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Epithets. It's just tricky when the characters have the same pronouns and I hate writing their names over and over. (I don't mind when other people do it though, so 🤷🏽‍♀️. But then I'll be like, "I can't say Derek three times in this paragraph!")

I've started looking for ones to remove whenever I edit now (and I'm cringing thinking about earlier stories that I should re-edit at some point,) but I still use some and am self-conscious about it.

Also, sometimes I info dump, but that doesn't bother me so much. Boom, here's a bunch of background now let's get on with it, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've used a few words in Polish here and there in some stories, but I probably wouldn't try to write whole conversations in another language unless I was familiar with it or could ask someone about it.

There's some Patois/Patwah in Irie, which was interesting to write because there's no one set spelling of many words, so it was part looking at common ones and part "What did it sound like/how was it phrased when this relative or family friend said something like this?"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I vaguely recall thinking up scenes, dialogue, background, etc, for a story with Byakuya Kuchiki/Shūhei Hisagi from Bleach approximately 5 billion years ago when I was a teenager, but I don't remember if I ever actually wrote anything. Definitely didn't finish or publish anything. So...Teen Wolf.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm. I can't say that I have a favorite. I only started actually writing from my list of fic ideas around 16 months ago, IIRC. Maybe if I look back on them all after enough time passes I'll be able to pick one out (though knowing me...still probably not,) but right now they're all just...floating around in my head and also mixed with the particular experiences of writing them, idk.

Here's a recent one that was fun to write:

Legs (Sterek, 4.3k. Explicit. Snark and smut after college students Derek and Werecreature Stiles cross paths at the mall.)

If you want to play along, tag, you're it!

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Any tips on how to overcome a scarcity mindset when it’s your actual situation?? Like I am living with my parents who heavily control my diet, so when I’m alone or in a safe place I end up binging “unhealthy” things, which doesn’t feel great. I’ve tried telling myself that I can always have more later if I want, but the fact is that I can’t because of my situation. And that’s kind of the only method or mantra (what really helps me is repeating little supportive phrases to myself) that I’ve seen in my research.

This is a tough one, anon. I think you're going to have to do some damage control now, and start making plans for treatment once you are able to leave this environment. So instead of telling yourself you can have more later if you want, tell yourself "It is wrong that this is happening to me. One day in the future I will begin to heal from this." Just focus as much as you can on your hope and not on your distress.

Do you have a locker at school or any place your family cannot access? A job that provides you a cubby/locker to store your things? If so, it could be a good idea to stash sealed nonperishables (so that you don't grow mold or attract mice.) Some ideas could be: sleeves of crackers and those single-serve pouches of peanut butter, granola bars, packets of nuts or dried fruit, potato chips. Try to stash nutritious things but it's okay to keep treats too, so you don't create a guilt mindset around these foods. Then you can tell yourself "I'm not going to starve. I do have enough. I do have some control." (A lot of unhealthy relationships with food are about control, and it sounds like you have a scary lack of control in your own life right now.) If you could even get a lockbox to hide somewhere in your room (or in your car, if you have one) you could stash these nonperishables there, and keep the key on your person at all times. Ooh, and if you're afraid you're not getting enough nutrients, invest in a multivitamin too. Just remember to come up with a ready-made excuse for what's in the lockbox in case your family finds it. Maybe stash food in multiple places, as long as it's nonperishables. Oh, and anon, I feel for you having to tell you this, but please make a note to bring this up in treatment if you seek therapy once you're free. Lots of people who've lived in scarcity develop extreme trauma and food hoarding behaviors, to the point of eating foods that are unsafe or keeping their house in unsanitary conditions. Right now, you may need to hoard and that's the honest reality. But do keep your eyes on a future where healing is accessible, not just survival.

Remember, it's okay to eat junk food. I understand it's not ideal to live on it, but if it's all you can access, it's better than starving and you need to remind yourself that so you don't feel guilt. But "junk foods" are the kinds that are easiest to binge, especially if you have a scarcity mindset because they have the sugars, salts, and fats that you'd be desperately seeking if you were starving in the wilderness. So it's a bit of an instinctive reaction to want to go ham on these things if you live in fear of going without, so try to tell yourself not to feel guilty about craving them. No matter what you're eating, make sure you take a breath every few bites. Take a moment to remind yourself that you are alone, in your space, you are totally safe, that you are allowed to not only eat freely but to enjoy your food. Be patient with yourself if this message doesn't sink in right away, as you are living in a traumatic situation where that is not always the case. But teaching yourself strategies to prevent or interrupt the binge process is always helpful. Stay patient and keep working on it.

Do you have friends who are aware of what you're going through? Anyone who can help you to get a little bit of extra food here and there, or whose house you can visit to get a real meal? If you must live on snacks, they will keep you from starvation, but a real meal here and there will do you wonders, as will the knowledge that you have a safe space and people to validate that what is happening to you is wrong.

Never stop working on your exit plan and envisioning your future of healing. I hope you get through okay.

[stayevildarling]

For the writer ask post:

1, 7, 8, 10, 28, 31

Thank you ☺️

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

So usually I always know how the story will end. It happens very rarely when I‘m mid writing and then suddenly get another idea. Because my fics are usually happy ending though, I kinda always have the ending prepared😂

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

this is hella embarrassing but it was basically a sarah x reader fic about reader bumping into sarah on her birthday😅 I would never write sarah x reader fics now or real people x reader in general so🫡

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

I really appreciate constructive critism and seek for feedback. Especially when I‘m unsure about a plot or haven‘t posted in a while. It gives me reassurance to know someone is proofreading it for me and my writing isn‘t trash. Equally I like discussing different headcanons for characters and how people perceive them.

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

So usually I come up with it straight away when I write the outline for a fic and choose the gifs and write warnings and tags. Most of my titles are song lyrics which is easy because I often get inspiration for writing through music. Sometimes a title kinda just comes to me in the writing process and I go with it.

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

for me personally: typed notes🤷🏻‍♀️

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

I think it has to be Cordelia. Writing her just comes to me so naturally idk😅 I often daydream about her and considering she is literal sunshine and rainbows and all good things in this world, it‘s always an absolute joy

[merytu-mrytw]

Really thinking I need to burn down my whole practice and start again from scratch

Not even for any of the usual reasons I just had this long drawn out epiphany over a weekend camping trip of the sort where like

You really just have to start from scratch, because everything you think you know is incomplete. Not even wrong, just so far below what is happening. I thought I knew what the 'wilderness' was like and then I drove through stretches of burned country that have sprung back green and lush and soft, I listened to a First Nations Elder talk about how country is meant to be maintained, how fundamental relationship to the land is, how the Yuin people used to hunt whales with the assistance of orcas, how their word for orca means 'brother'

All of which isn't to say I'm going off and larping that sort of relationship in my own spiritual practice, but it does necessitate a different relationship to land and to nature and to my place in it

You can moan about how people are a parasite but then you actually see how care for and relationship with country is vital, how it does things you wouldn't have thought possible, and it's just. So much more real than vague gesturing towards a neutered idea of 'nature'. I've never seen a bandicoot before that weekend, that weekend I saw at least four. Why? Because the new growth from burnings provides food sources that allow bandicoots to thrive, that feeds kangaroos and wallabies, that draws birds. And it occurs because First Nations peoples maintained a relationship with the land through fire. The human element is not incidental, it is a part of the whole ecology of the place.

All of which is very off the cuff and I'm not even as informed as I should be about any part of it, nothing I'm saying is anything that Indigenous people haven't been saying for literal centuries. But I don't think I can keep gesturing to this broad idea of 'nature' anymore I think I need to burn off and start anew