#i like the idea of august trying to be a Dad to the younger characters but being so out of touch w society that he just kinda fails

[mr-president]

jokes stolen from horsecomix

there is Absolutely Nothing Wrong with august :]

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Found Out Another Reason Why I Love Adam More Than Lilith (From Hazbin Hotel) Part 1

[Note: do NOT reblog this without my permission...I don't want to have to do what I had to do on September 2, 2024 when I couldn't message the person who reblog the post I made about Blitzo, and I wanted to ask them to unreblog it, but I couldn't cause I couldn't message them because they only accept messages from blogs they follow...so I don't wish to do the whole block thing again anytime soon...I didn't want to come to that on that day...and I'm not saying who they are and it's good that their reblog was removed from my post...also while this will talk about Adam and Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, this will get a bit off topic...this will also mention some stuff with Blitzo, Stolas and other characters from Helluva Boss and will mention some spoilers. ]

so yeah like the last few times before when trying to write some thoughts about Lilith, the page started to not respond on me...

so yeah I was writing the original version of this, and it started to be all stupid on me...and yeah got upset enough to end up crying, it was just so frustrating...

even mentioned some off topic stuff in it, like my thoughts on the True First Eve that came After Lilith But Before The Second Eve who would be known as "Eve" and who ate the forbidden fruit.

but like the First Eve, when she was made from Adam's rib, he was awake for it and had rejected her, and my thoughts is that Eve The Second Eve was made from the rib on Adam's right side, while the First Eve was made from the rib on the left side it, and well the left side is where the heart is...

my idea is that The First Eve that came before Eve, could be named Elisabeth but called Elle for short, you know like how Charlie's full name is Charlotte but she likes to be called Charlie and she prefers it.

so Elle's full name would be "Elizabeth" but spelled "Elisabeth" so it will be Elisabeth with a "S" instead of a "Z"...

like originally she didn't have a name, because Adam didn't name her and she was rejected by him, and that only happen because he was awake and witnessed how she was made.

I like the idea of Elle being maybe around Charlie's Dad Lucifer's height or like being a bit shorter than him by a few inches, so being much shorter than Adam, Lilith and Eve.

and Elle could have light orange hair, light blue eyes and rose white skin.

Elle and her "younger sister" Eve could be known by their full titles...

Elisabeth "Elle" The First Eve (Formerly Nameless The First Eve)

and Eve The Second Eve...

I also mentioned in the original version of this, that well before it became September 1, 2024...I prayed for a sign that had to do with me being either the daughter or not of Archeia Mikaela, you know the Lady Faith that is suppose to be the Feminine Counterpart of Archangel Michael...like I prayed for it to rain as a sign for "yes" on September 1, 2024...but if it is a "no" then it will just be sunny on that day and not rain at all...

and well I did that prayer on August 31, 2024...and yeah it did end up raining on September 1, but I didn't get to see it because I ended up sleeping through it and I had to ask if it had rained...

and I don't know if it was answer and reply to the sign I prayed for or if it was just a coincidence, but if it was, then I guess it would explain the whole my Mom going through Evening Sickness when she was pregnant with me...

but I think anyone could end up having their Mom going through Evening Sickness instead of Morning Sickness, so it might not of just been my Mom that went through that...

and I hope today, we can finally get around to checking my blood type again...cause we have put it off for far too long, and I want to see it coming out like it did the other two times when we were successful with it...cause the last other times before we finally were successful didn't come out so well, and I know I learned it is better for me to have my eyes closed during it, because each time I ended up feeling not so great when that whole thing happens...

I know the blood type you have is stuck with you for the rest of your life thing, but I still want to have that test thing done again so I can see it come out as "O RH D Negative" on that blood type test thing...

and hopefully either today or somewhere around this month, we can finally get to it and stop putting it off...

I might not know about the whole 100% about my soul's birth, but I'm pretty sure I may have been a Accident.

also one of the things I brought up in the original version of this, is that the incident with Abel, reminds me of the accident I had when I was maybe around almost a year old or when I was 1 year old...

I will need to ask about it again sometime, but I know I was a baby when it happen...I ended up with a scar that is a bit close to where my right eye is, like it's not on my eye but it is a bit close but a bit far away from it...

my Mom had to hold me close to stop the bl**ding, and yeah just like in the originally version of this, I had to censor the part that has the word "bl**ding"...I just thought it was better that way I guess...

I was given help on time, but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I wasn't given help on time, and well even if the whole thing that happen with Abel and Cain was different from what happen with me...

I know that me and my big brother were in another room when it happen, and we were playing and I ended up hurting my head.

I don't have a full memory of what happen or even know what happen, all I know is from the little info I was told about it.

anyway I realized that I have another reason to love Adam more than Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, and that is Lilith reminds me of my Dad.

lucky for Adam, he wasn't pregnant when Lilith left him and cheated on him when they were still technically married...

Stolas from Helluva Boss, kinda gets a half pass.

but only because Stella has been treating him badly with verbal abuse and possibly physical abuse...

but he doesn't get a full pass for how he had treated Blitz.

I mean it might be best for fans to re-watch the episodes from Season 1, even the pilot episode...

I mean Blitz when he was still in the IMP van, he was trying to keep himself from crying when trying to tell Stolas he "couldn't tonight" even if Stolas did just want to spend time with Blitz, but Blitz needed to be left alone after what happen at Ozzie's...

and those like Dennis, don't deserve any pity like at all...

since they were taking kissing advantage of a drunk and emotionally hurt and vulnerable Blitz after what happen at Ozzie's.

and yeah the fan theory I and perhaps other fans have,

is that Blitz could turn out to be Panromantic-Ace.

so he could either be Asexual or Demisexual...

the reason why he follows Millie and Moxxie, might have to do with his research he has been doing, to learn about healthy relationships, along with his other research that had to do with those pictures he took of Imps wearing horse costumes.

Blitz might come off as the worse person and Imp ever, but that might not be 100% true...

Fizz was likely lied to by Blitz's good for nothing Dad and possibly even his sister Barbie, that Blitz was jealous of Fizz.

Blitz's Dad is Pathetic, and maybe Barbie is a Daddy's Girl and probably had a good relationship with both her and Blitz's Parents.

Blitz was likely a Mommy's Boy, but had a terrible relationship with his and Barbie's Dad.

it could be possible Blitz had never caused Fizz's accident in the first place, one of the evidence being the horses with flame mane and tail that was seemingly close to where the fireworks were at.

and it could be possible Barbie may have put those fireworks there, like she could of had plans for them and forgot to move them to a safer place.

I also have a theory about Loona, Blitz and Stolas and the whole texts between Blitz and Stolas...

the theory is, that it was never Blitz doing those misspelling texts, and it was Loona the whole time...

even I can mistype something like some others have, but one of the hints could be that Loona is the one that does most of the texting for Blitz, is well...when you watch the episode where Loona goes to the party at the Gluttony Ring, she mistypes "I am here." as "I am her..."

she put "her" instead of "here" which she had to put another message to fix that mistake.

it is possible the reason why she was placed in charge of the texts to Stolas, because of the last time Stolas called Blitz when he was trying to hide from Martha.

and the only reason why Blitz agreed to Stolas's suggestion to that "once a month on the full moon" is because he was under a lot of pressure and he was trying not to get a game over by Martha.

plus Blitz had a extra hellphone and he didn't bother to go back for the one he left behind when Martha caught him...

and Stolas kept going on and on, talking dirty talk and even talking about food for some odd reason, which he was still talking even when that hellphone was on the ground and Moxxie ran past it.

it sounded like he was talking about jelly sandwiches, but I'm not 100% sure...I will have to re-watch it again sometime.

and if things are going to work out between Blitz and Stolas, then they both will need to work on themselves...

Blitz might of felt bad for hurting and breaking so many hearts, but not all of them deserve to be felt sorry for, not even Dennis who wasn't even a Ex, and he only made-out with at Bee's Party, which only happen because Blitz was drunk and emotionally hurt and vulnerable after what happen at Ozzie's.

even if Dennis did cry and got upset after being rejected by Blitz, because Blitz didn't like his name, and wanted a Alejandro or Monica.

I'm still not going to feel fully sorry for Dennis, who was making out with a emotionally hurt and vulnerable Blitz, who was getting drunk and causing problems because what happen at Ozzie's.

even if Stolas's past text message for Blitz, tried to play off the whole incident as something that wasn't too hurtful, and well you would have to pause to read it, and I can't remember if it was on that episode where Stolas ended up hurt really badly by Striker and he ended up texting Blitz (who the one that answers might be Loona, who couldn't really do much texting because of the state she was in.)

and the reason why Blitz couldn't text back to say he would or couldn't see Stolas at the hospital...

is because Blitz, likely was going through some shocking emotions after finding out that Stolas can get hurt, and the closes thing he could do is ask Loona to text to Stolas "get better soon"...

one of the times Blitz does answer Stolas, is when it's moments like when Stolas called to ask him to come save him from Striker, but he couldn't because he had to take Loona to the hospital and he needed to put her first, and Blitz couldn't just stop everything, he had to make a choice between Loona and Stolas...

he trusted Moxxie and Millie to handle saving Stolas, when he deals with making sure Loona got her Vaccine for Hellbies.

Stolas still ends up bringing up the whole fact Blitz didn't come save him from Striker, which once again he couldn't when he needed to be there for his daughter Loona...

Blitz is not the only one who needs to work on himself, because Stolas, Blitz's Exes and One-Night Stands, Dennis and Verosika Mayday need to work on themselves as well.

it's good that things are good between Blitz and Verosika now, and she isn't as bad as she seems...

but well I can't help but think the thing that she was going to say but couldn't that has to do with "love" might not be what we originally thought, but could hint in her solo song at Ozzie's, something that Blitz was not willing to do.

and because of it, it ended up causing Blitz and Verosika to break-up.

romantic partners should respect each other's thoughts and feelings, as well as boundaries, if your partner doesn't feel comfortable with something, don't make them out as the bad guy for it or scapegoat the whole thing onto their shoulders.

and yeah as much as it shocks people, there are some Aces who do have "snu-snu" with their romantic partners, like either they be boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses.

and we Aces don't need to be "fixed" and if it were possible as self defense and if I was strong enough to, I would telekinesis those disgusting jerks who get the bright idea with trying to "fix" me...

I still have my V-card, and well I have a certain phobia that also has to do with my Semi-Androphobia that has to do with the panic attack I had in 2015...and that was before I figured out I was Ace and Nonbinary, of course I was still figuring out the type of Nonbinary I am...but I know I'm a Nonbinary-Girl and still go by She/Her pronouns

and well I have been protecting myself by using gems so I don't pick up certain energies, one of them being Toxic-Lust energy...

which once again, I was apparently vulnerable to it when I sleep and had to use Dream-Catchers to protect me...

Emberlynn Pinkle should of still kept that charm on...

even I ain't that crazy of a fan girl...

also I want to say that I figured out what it is that I am when I believe in both God/Heavenly-Father and Goddess/Eathly-Mother.

it is called Bitheistic, so yeah I'm a Bitheism person...

anyway, hopefully things will work out between Blitzo and Stolas, and hopefully Stolas does work on himself...

and back to the whole Adam and Lilith thing, I guess I'm weird with the whole Lilith reminding me a bit of my Dad, who after a disagreement with my Mom who was still pregnant with me at the time, took off to another place far away where my Mom and her family lived, and never came back...

oh yeah, and he cheated on my Mom when they were still married and separated, it was either when my Mom was still pregnant with me or sometime after she had me...I will need to ask about it again sometime...

but yeah, if Adam and Lilith did have children in Hazbin Hotel Universe, like the ones from our universe...

then Adam could of had to watch over and take care of the children they had together that were born in Eden, while Lilith was having affair with Charlie's Dad...so lucky Adam wasn't pregnant when that affair was happening.

Adam might of not been perfect, but he only became a worse version of himself because of what Lilith and Lucifer...

it's too bad he might not come back in Season 2 as a Fallen Winner...

the only times he does appear as a Fallen Winner is in Fanon work by fans.

wouldn't be surprised if Charlie being all "that explains so much" and face she was making, has to do with stories she heard from her Mom about him, which I wouldn't be surprised if Lilith's stories about Adam are full of Bull Sugar Honey Ice Tea, and was full of half-truths and half-lies...

cause Miss Arrogancy Embodiment, will of course play it off like she's the full victim and Adam was "trying to control her" and make her "subservient"...but really that was just her misinterpreting.

even if the 8th and 9th Sins like Vanity and Melancholy might not appear in the canon of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, but if there was a 10th, it would be Arrogancy.

Belial is the Embodiment of Vanity, and Astaroth is the Embodiment of Melancholy.

and even if Lilith was a Man and Adam was a Woman, I'm still going to love Adam more than her...

I guess I can't help but view Adam in Hazbin Hotel, as misunderstood, who crossed lines that he shouldn't of crossed because he wasn't thinking...

he was upset that one of his Exorcist Angels were taken out, and it was one of the reasons he moved up the day to the next extermination day to the next six months.

he did it, probably not just because Sinners would figure out the ways Angels can be taken out, but because those Exorcist Angels are the closes thing to family he has...

I like to view that there are two Lutes in the Fanon, one that is the "Lute Sr." who is the Lover of Adam, while the "Lute Jr." is the daughter that Adam always wanted.

Lute Sr. could have a different Exorcist uniform that is the same as the much taller and Mom Figure Exorcist, who have what is called a voluptuous figure.

like in some fan works, Lute is either Adam's girlfriend or crush and love interest, or in others she isn't that, she and the rest of the Exorcist Angels (even Vaggie...) are his adoptive daughters, and possibly made from his DNA by some kind of magic.

so I like to view that there are Two Lutes in the Fanon, one that is Lute Sr. who is way taller than maybe Adam, maybe being around the height that comes up to Sera's shoulders, and wears armor and has a Valkyrie hybrid style of the Exorcist Angel uniforms.

like Lute Sr. is the Commander of the Valkyrie Exorcists, that make up women who are the "Mothers" of the Exorcist Angels like Lute (Lute Jr.) and Vaggie who is under the command of Adam.

Lute Sr. could be the "Mother" of Lute, Vaggie and the Other Exorcist Angels, because she helped Adam with making them, possibly through magic.

the Valkyrie Exorcist are The Matriarch Class of Exorcist Angels, who no longer go down on Extermination Day, but instead have other jobs, such as some of them being bodyguards for The Archeia.

Lute Sr. who could go by another name so not to confuse her for Lute...she could be the bodyguard of Archeia Mikaela.

I know some might think Charlie's Mom might still have some good in her, and she wasn't in Heaven by her own free will and was some kind of hostage and other fans believe she left for Heaven on purpose and abandon her family, and some fans can believe any one of those theories could be true.

Charlie clearly looks up to her Mom and views her as a Hero to all Sinners and Hellborns, but that might not be 100% true.

it is just what Charlie believes her Mother to be, and the book she was left when her Mom was gone, was all she had left of her and she believes a book that possibly holds half-truths and half-lies in it.

I mean it is kinda obvious that Charlie's Mom Lilith, seems to belittle Lucifer, even if it might not seem that way...

but the way the story plays off as "Lucifer losing all Hope" and "Lilith thrived and empowering demonkind with her songs and voice..."

and even saying that "Lilith's Hope Remained In Their Daughter" instead of it being "Lilith and Lucifer's Hope Remained In Their Daughter"...of course I'm going to question her...

there could be a reason why Lilith and Lucifer are separated and are possibly divorced or like in the process of divorced, but can't because it would mean Lilith would no longer be the Queen of Hell.

she could get her own Ring, and become the Queen of that Ring.

Lucifer might not even feel the same way he did before for Lilith when they first met, likely because he realized how manipulative she could really be and it could be possible that in the Hazbin Hotel Universe, Lilith had convinced Lucifer into going along with the plan with the apple and getting Eve to eat it.

because of how much influence has on Charlie, it is possible that Lucifer doesn't want to break his daughter's heart by telling her the truth that she really needs to hear about her Mom.

it could be possible that Lilith could manipulate Sinners with her voice, which some fans could of theorized already...

it is possible she is part of the reason things went bad between Vox and Alastor.

it might of really been Alastor's voice that came from his full power, that empowered and encouraged Sinners, Lilith could only manipulate them by changing them and making them do as she says and perhaps even brainwashing them to becoming darker versions of themself...

which she likely had done to both Vox and Valentino...

also I know Valentino has smoke that comes from him that is pink, and is supposes to control demons...

but what if that Love Potion that appears in the show, isn't just made from Valentino's Smoke alone, but also has another ingredient in it.

and that ingredient is Angel Dust's Venom that is a Pink Color.

and those two mixed together, and made into the "Love Potion" would be able to cause an affect on the two sources that the two ingredients came from...

Valentino is likely addicted to Angel because of Angel's Venom, something that Vox had figured out long before Velvette and it could be the reason why Vox isn't really a fan of Angel being close to Valentino, because of Angel's Venom.

Angel probably doesn't know his Venom causes those that are influenced by it, to become very obsessed with him.

it's possible the only way that Husk and others who Angel might kiss but accidentally got injected with Angel's Venom, is if they take a type of Antidote that is made from revers engineering the stuff from Angel's Venom...

Baxter is probably able to make a Antidote and figure out Angel's Venom causes behavior that is shown in Valentino when it comes to his obsession with Angel.

Angel would of had to learn this the hard way, if he ended up injecting Husk with his Venom, and he starts to become obsessed with him...and if they do end up together, and not just friends as they are right now...

Angel and Husk would need to go see Baxter and make sure Husk takes the Antidote to Angel's Venom, which will let him be Immune to Angel's Venom, but it could only last for 6 months.

if Valentino was given the Antidote and was made to stay away from Angel, or in this case stay a few feet away from Angel and not touch him...he could go through withdrawal systems, which Vox and Velvette would have to deal with Valentino's withdrawals from Angel's Venom.

I'm going to write a bit more of this in a part 2, that will talk a little bit more of Adam and Lilith, and the reasons why I like him more than her...

cause once again, Lilith reminds me a bit of my Dad who left when my Mom was pregnant with me and also cheated on my Mom when she was either still pregnant with me or sometime after she had me...

I'm breaking this into two parts, because I don't want to risk this going stupid on me like the last few times...

so yeah, will make part 2 of this in a a hour or few hours...

and it could be possible that both Adam and Blitzo are bad at feelings and expressing the darker parts of those feelings and they are just misunderstood by those around them that aren't Loona and Lute.

[lupineleigh]

This is a historical artifact from 1992. Possibly 1991. At least for me it’s a huge piece of my literary history.

I’m a born story teller. I can remember coming up with original stories and original characters since I was four years old, possibly younger.

I wanted to share an idea for a story to act out with a friend and since I never knew when I’d see my busy friend again, I had to write down my ideas to make sure I did not forget them. I also suffer from poor short term memory and Executive Dysfunction which leads to choice paralysis, time blindness, and struggling to start and finish tasks. Because of this, I have gotten by with making notes for myself everywhere I could find a blank spot to write. Here, you can see me reminding myself what time to bathe so I could get to bed on time without getting fussed at.

Since I didn’t know how to draw Darkwing yet, I traced over a picture of him in my Disney Adventures magazine and put my tracing paper picture in my journal. That was the first year I started using markers, too, as my preferred tools for coloring were my awful, cheap, scribbly colored pencils, or my smelly childhood box of Crayola crayons with the built in sharpener.

I started my first Darkwing Duck fanfic in this journal. It was originally going to be a play between me and my then best friend, but I got stumped on how to include her in the story, since I knew she’d want an important role. I asked her for ideas and wrote the ending as she relayed it, with her as the random side character barreling in to save the day and defeat the whole hoard of villains. She was happy with that ending. I…was not. I wanted the hero to actually do something besides be the damsel in distress. 😆 So I started a new copy on loose leaf lined note paper. I redrew DW in the same pose and tried to draw Audubon Bay Bridge, and copied down my favorite prose that I wrote as a kid, and embellished the story with more details, more setting and mood, and ended up with a lot more angst. I remember taking my folder with all those loose pieces of paper on a trip to Arizona and New Mexico and trying to write in the car, and on my grandma’s coffee table. Physical comfort always took a sideline to my need to pour out an ongoing story while I was in Writing Mode. Even though I did not have access to Darkwing Duck episodes or comics then, I wrote from memory and later looked for the comics and episodes I referred to.

**Long post and triggering story ahead. Proceed with caution. Mentions of depression, cancer, death, grief, etc. **

Fast forward to 2010. I finally finished my hard copy of “The Villains’ Revolt” and decided it was high time to start typing the darn thing before my pencil copy became too blurry and faded to read. It was August 11, around six pm… I had just typed “One night, the city of St. Canard was unusually quiet.” And then I got hit with the worst bombshell of my life… My mom came in and said my dad, who was laying on a cot in our living room, suffering from debilitating, rare Lung Cancer that attacked his spinal fluid and shut down his organs and body functions one by one over the course of four months, was on his last breath. She asked me to come downstairs.

I saved my file, turned off the computer, left “Villains’ Revolt” on my desk, and descended into the worst depression of my life. I held my dad’s hand, read to him, showed him magazine pictures, choked out a song for him with other family members, and told him it was okay to let go… That we’d be okay… I was not okay. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted a miracle. I got one, but it was more like a hallucination than the miracle I was praying for… Dad gasped his last, and I hugged him one last time and walked away, told the hospice nurse I was okay, and shut down for the rest of the month, letting my relatives handle all the arrangements. It was awful. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my chest. It was a weight I physically carried for the next fifteen months. I could not think, feel, or do anything normal without crying or feeling like I was watching from some other plain or existence. I could feel myself slipping away and feared leaving my devastated, depression-paralyzed mother alone. She wasn’t cooking, doing laundry, cleaning or doing anything for herself then except laying in bed for weeks and filling out forms and making phone calls. We were both overwhelmed.

I stepped up. I took over all the housework, lawn care, cooking, cleaning, and tried to find a new normal for Mom and me. I struggled to keep us on a meal schedule and sleep schedule. I struggled to be present for myself and my dog, who stayed quietly by my side, even when I forgot to feed or walk him. We survived. We pulled through.

But my heart needed an outlet. I had to release that volcano of feelings somehow.

I started a new story. “My Daughter, My Life.” I poured everything into that. All of my pain, fear, grief, confusion, vulnerability, struggles to make a new normal and find who I was again without the guidance of a parent or mentor, or even a friend. I was completely isolated by physical distance and emotional distance from everyone I knew…

Writing kept me alive. It gave me purpose. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with a story I could never publish but I had to have a safe outlet to process my feelings and project onto characters who I could relate to.

It was exhausting and painful but I finished three stories, and a bit of research led me to Fan fiction .net. I was scared to share so much of myself, but I was so lonely, even a critique would have been welcome. Just being noticed and acknowledged as a living person was enough. I figured the worst that could happen was I’d be ignored. I’d lose nothing by posting. So I did.

That is my history, and the beginning of the new me.

My stories were accepted with open arms, and a fan wrote to me to suggest a new story idea based off of my short story. I did some more research, and found a whole fandom on a forum I never knew existed. I needed a little bit of encouragement to approach so many strangers online, but I joined the forum and quickly found a friendly fun community that made me feel like I actually fit in for the first time in my life.

That community was my home for the next ten years, and it will always have a piece of my heart. They helped me grow so much as a person, opening my eyes and mind and filling me with more dopamine and excitement than I could contain! I had more energy from talking about anthro ducks online than I had as a growing child! It was amazing, and I made some amazing friends online that I still talk with on a near daily basis.

Nice year old me would be surprised to see where old me is now, and very confused by my new perspectives, but she’d be relieved to see that I wasn’t alone my whole life. I didn’t suffer endlessly in silence. I’m still here. I’m still writing. And I’ll keep writing for as long as there is a spark of inspiration and flexibility in my aching hands.

This is my story. My past and my present. And I am proud of how far I’ve come. What happens next? Who knows! The future awaits!

[ancientstone]

I posted 16,411 times in 2022

That's 5,835 more posts than 2021!

336 posts created (2%)

16,075 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sharkneto

@viterbofangirllovestheuntamed

@conchshell

@modmad

@valarinde

I tagged 10,087 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#join the queue - 5,527 posts

#the untamed - 3,292 posts

#tua - 1,726 posts

#wei wuxian - 1,511 posts

#jiang cheng - 1,250 posts

#fanart - 1,026 posts

#lan wangji - 847 posts

#number five - 572 posts

#rottmnt - 547 posts

#tua s3 - 515 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i have over 70 works on ao3 now and my naming system is 'pretentious and bland' so unless it's oh that big exhauting fic i won't have a clue

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

wait I’ve just realised the Hargreeves could totally uno reversed s1 Luther into going against their father with one simple conversation

Siblings: we know you’re the leader, but for a moment just picture that dad is.

Luther: okay?

Siblings: how has he performed?

Luther: well, he supplied us with equipment and clothing for missions, he drove us to every location and back, he trained us to tackle enemies ourselves, he put it on me to plan everything once we were inside, he put others in the line of fire, he didn’t step in when we got hurt- WAIT A MINUTE

697 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#4

wait actually playing with who Wei Wuxian gets brought back as is fun but also terrible:

Lan Xichen: Positive - People are willing to listen to you and trust your word. Negative - You are sect leader of the most upright clan and you are the most unruly human alive. Also your boyfriend has to deal with having the hots for his brother?

Lan Wangji: CONGRATULATIONS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE BASICALLY DIED SO YOU CAN COME BACK AND COMMIT MURDER HAVE FUN UNPACKING THAT ONE

Lan Sizhui: You know your adopted son? He died for you decades after your death. Your boyfriend won’t stop sobbing and will never kiss you again.

Lan Qiren: You are the youngest of your generation but also retirement age. People respect your word. Your knees hurt. Now you know what it’s like to be too old for this shit.

Nie Huaisang: Everyone keeps coming up to you with random bits of intel and you have no idea why, how they get this, or who they are. This is the one time you can come back as a sect leader and no one will take you seriously. The fan is sexy though.

Jiang Cheng: Hey, so, you know how you had a younger brother? A younger brother you gave your core to? A younger brother who was the last of the family that raised you and the person you sacrificed everything for? Yeah. He’s dead now. You get his body. But at least you get your core back, right?

Jin Ling: THE KID HAS A VERY LOYAL DOG THAT WON’T STOP FOLLOWING YOU but also you are in the body of your sister’s precious child and you will never know peace. Good luck trying to speak to your brother again. He won’t kill you, not in the body of his nephew, but, wow, you could burn alive with the scathing he sends your way.

Jin Guangyao: Everyone is confused and no one wanted this.

883 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

#3

Can you imagine if Wei Wuxian came back to life and instead of killing Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangyao has killed Jiang Cheng instead?

908 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#2

I feel so sorry that all these twitter people joining tumblr have literally just missed bookclub

1,389 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If I had a nickle for every time a seemingly innocent piece of media had horror elements in 2022...

2,645 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bluedalahorse]

As someone who’s dragged Marcus in comments to friends but has fully embraced the troubled horse nature nuance of August, I’m going to give this exercise a go. Especially because I think it’s important to check my class bias once in a while.

Given the amount of screen time we see Marcus get and the way we see him influencing Simon’s arc, I feel like some good “comp” characters would be Micke and Linda. 

When it comes to Micke’s nuance, we see the hints of how he was abusive toward Linda and the kids and how the whole family carries trauma as a result, but it’s also pretty obvious that Simon got his love of music from his dad and that their relationship had its ups as well as its downs, and that’s bittersweet for Simon. Meanwhile, on the Linda side of things, Linda is pretty loving toward Simon and takes care of him when the video leaks, but she’s also parentified Simon and put him in a position where he feels like he has to take care of Sara and always be the achieving sibling. I don’t think that’s deliberate malice on Linda’s part, but I do think it’s something that’s impacted Simon’s psyche.

I don’t have a perfect read on YR fandom given that I got back on tumblr fairly recently and my past lurking happened in an on and off way, but it does feel like fandom’s decently good at seeing the nuance in Micke. I do see some folks sliding toward the idea of Linda as a Perfect Mom (essentially, doing the opposite of what they do with Marcus) which—I adore Linda, so I love celebrating her, but as someone who likes the complexity of the characters in YR, I also find the idea of her being a Perfect Mom a little boring. (On that note, I also find the idea of Erik as the Perfect Older Brother a little bit boring. He’s so much more interesting when he’s a little ambiguous! But that’s another post for another time.)

I think what Marcus afforded Simon was a space to just not be the kid who sticks out at Hillerska, which is something Simon sorely needed after all the fallout with the video. Marcus hadn’t watched the video (although admittedly @heliza24​ and I were on our guard, wondering the entire season if it was going to turn out that actually, he had all along.) He connects with Simon over music at the karaoke place. He also is willing to drop everything and give Simon rides or help him out with stuff, when in the previous season, Simon often had to drop everything to help out Wilhelm or adjust to Wilhelm’s schedule. And I do think there’s value in Simon’s arc at having someone who’s willing to do that for him.

Where Marcus crosses the line is where he constantly talks over Simon’s feelings, and tries to move their relationship along faster than Simon would want. The part where he explains Simon’s family dynamic was a big yikes for me. Still, this feels like a pretty realistic portrayal of a slightly older teenager (with one foot in adulthood) in a relationship with a slightly younger teenager. (Honestly, Marcus reminded me so much of the two-years-older person I dated through most of college, before I realized I was aromantic—this gave me the icks about him, but it also reminded me how young he was about trying to seem mature.) I don’t know if we have enough data at this point to understand Marcus’s behavior is just like, a thing where he’s nineteen and thinks he knows everything about how relationships are supposed to work and eventually he’ll mellow out, or whether these are concerning patterns that will persist into adulthood and he’ll try to talk over all his partners like that. And to be fair, that’s the boat a lot of Young Royals characters are in. They’re at this crossroads where they have a choice about what kind of adult they want to become. Marcus (like August, actually) is just a lot closer to the shore of adulthood than some of the other teenage characters, and that’s probably giving him a sense of urgency + anxiety that he’s trying to cover up with performative maturity.

I think Marcus makes the most narrative sense when you see him less as a “rival” to Wilhelm but more as an extension of the way Linda and Micke’s influences nudge Simon’s arc into particular twists and turns. And (as I’ve seen others point out) it’s important to remember that Simon has agency too, and is making his own decisions in response to those nudges. It’s complex! And that’s the way we like it.

EDITED TO ADD: I know neither of them thinks so, but in a surprise plot twist I could see Marcus and Nils making things work as a couple. Just going to put that out into the universe to see if anyone has ideas for it.

okay maybe this is a hot take but I'm so tired of y'all acting like marcus is the evil irredeemable person who was only out to get simon and deserves only bad things because he'll never change or something, etc. etc.

like a) he's still a teen and b) he's a character with NUANCE that people are ignoring just bc he got in the way of wilmon, and I'm so sick of the shallow fucking interpretations of him that we keep getting despite the fact that everyone had no problem with seeing august as a well rounded character. and god knows I complain and hate on him as much as the next person because he did do really shitty things, but I also know he's not a one dimensional character who only wanted to manipulate simon through the entire season, and I feel like the fandom has a hard time seeing that because we were already biased against him from the start

[violetswritingg]

Canary Cry

Robin/Nightwing (Dick Grayson) x OFC!

Description: Her violence was silent. Until it wasn't.

"I'm fine."

"Fine is just another word for drowning."

Rating T-M (mentions of blood, child abuse, mental health, cannon situations of violence and the like. Loss of parents, hard of hearing/deaf character, poorly written fight scenes lol)

Want to read the other chapters?

Click here

8

Star City, Arrow Cave

August 5, 16:30 PST

Heavy breathes filled the room as the two girls circled each other, Artemis as she had been introduced to Kate, watching every move her opponent made. Just like Kate was doing herself. The two adults watching on the edges of their seats, ready to jump in and break up the training and impromptu meeting short.

They had been at this for about ten minutes by this point, each girl acting conservatively with their strikes, as if afraid to actually punch the other. Artemis's trepidation clear at the notion of sparring with Kate, a girl younger than her and smaller than her felt a lot like the training her dad would put her through and it didn't sit right with her as she stepped into the ring.

But someone had to make the first move and that person was Artemis, Kate staying in the defensive to draw her out.

"I can't believe you thought this was a good idea." Dinah muttered under her breathe to Oliver, who had encouraged the last minute training.

"Decisions were made, I'm not saying they were smart ones, but they were made all the less and now we have to deal with it." Oliver awkwardly chuckled and shrugged. Both of the adults tuning back in when Artemis went after Kate. The younger girl ducking under the older girl's wide swing and rolling to the ground. Her leg swinging out to try and trip Artemis but the taller girl back flipped over the attack. Going through a complicated looking tumbling pass to put distance once again. Kate taking the bait and following.

Artemis twisting gracefully around Kate's attack and grabbing the girl's arm and using her own momentum against her. Kate being flipped onto her back with a wheeze. Artemis huffing out a breath and offering a hand up to the younger girl.

"Not bad, color me impressed." She laughed, her smile dimming as Kate pushed her hand away and got up on her own with a glare.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today." Dinah stepped in, an uneasy smile on her face as she approaches the girls, Oliver right behind her sheepishly grinning.

"Yeah, we should get you home Artemis. Time difference and all." Oliver motioned for the older girl to follow him, the girl sparring one last look at Kate and Dinah over her shoulder as Oliver led her out of the cave and up into the Queen mansion.

Kate met her eyes with a glare that could turn the sun to ice, Dinah seeing that and sighing. Placing a hand on her shoulder, grabbing her attention.

"Let's go home."

Kate nodded after a second, her frown not moving from her face.

~~*~~

Kate had beelined for her room and then the bathroom to take a shower and then retreating right back into her space again. Leaving Dinah to go to her to get her to talk about today, which she knew wouldn't be easy, but knew she still had to try. They had made a lot of progress and the last thing she wanted was Oliver springing this on them both to cause a setback in Kate's progress.

"Hey, it's me." Dinah knocked solidly, not sure if Kate had taken off her hearing aids yet or not, as she did usually when she got back to the apartment. Relying more and more on ASL when in the privacy of their home the more she learned. Dinah doing the same, knowing the headaches Kate had to deal with sometimes after wearing the high tech devices all day. They had created 'quiet hours' where Kate simply left the devices on the kitchen counter and didn't put them on again until she wanted to.

The door stayed closed, but wasn't locked. Dinah slowly turning the handle and peaking into the room, the only light in the room being the LED strips along the ceiling glowing a soft yellow. Kate buried under her covers, the lump breathing softly. Dinah sighed and sat gently on the foot of the bed and placed a hand on Kate's leg over the covers. Shaking her with care as to not startle her. The girl's eyes opened with ease, looking to the woman blankly.

"Skoot over." Dinah motioned and Kate simply rolled over, letting the woman crawl under the covers with the minimal space given to her. Laying a hand on Kate's shoulder for a second before moving to her hair and petting the strands, twisting locks between her fingers and uncoiling the waves.

"She's better than I am." The words were muffled and overpronounced. Dinah catching a glimpse of the devices on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. Dinah pulled on the girl's shoulder gently to get her to look at her.

"She's had more time to train. A lot more time. She's taller and older. The facts that you were able to hold your own for as long as you did says a lot about how far you've come. You did a good job today." Dinah punctuated her signs with sure movements of her fingers and soft eyes.

"I don't like her." Kate signed with a smack of her hands, frustration easy to see. Dinah huffed a laugh and pulled the girl into her side.

"You don't know her." Dinah playfully signed with a grin. Amused at the girl's jealousy.

"I don't need to know that-" Kate cut herself off, hands stilling.

"To know what?" Dinah asked in concern, hands slow.

"I want to be left alone." Kate rolled over again, back facing Dinah. The woman frowning and attempting to pull Kate towards her again only for Kate to Jerk her shoulder away and verbally shout, "Just leave me alone!"

Dinah was taken aback but took it, nodding to herself and getting out from under the covers. Looking over her shoulder one last time before shutting the door. Leaning back on it after it clicked shut, screwing her eyes shut and taking a breath. Pushing off once she had collected herself and going to make dinner, hoping the smell of food would draw Kate out of her room.

~~*~~

"Hey Katie, dinner's ready." Dinah attempted, knocking solidly before waiting for a response. Not getting one and assuming that Kate still had her hearing aids off, Dinah slowly opened her door and peaked in, waving her hand noticeably to get the attention of the lump in the middle of the bed. Something wasn't right though, there was a feeling crawling up from Dinah's stomach, into her throat as her eyes wandered. Seeing the closet door slightly ajar, some clothes on the floor, a couple drawers of her dresser not closed all the way.

Dinah slowly moved to the bed, pulling the covers away and finding pillows in Kate's place and her heart dropped. It felt like she couldn't breathe. A million bricks had been placed on her chest and the past replayed itself in front of her.

"Sarah! Come on, how long are you gonna be mad?" Dinah, barely twenty, pounded on her little sister's door. The sixteen year old having gone to bed without dinner, being angry over getting grounded after sneaking out the night before to go see someone she still refuses to talk about.

"Leave it D. She'll come out when she get's hungry or bored. You know her." Quintin Lance spoke from the stairwell, leaning against the wall that opened into the hallway, arms crossed over his chest. A hand coming up to scratch at the salt and pepper five o' clock shadow on his face. Matching his neatly trimmed hair.

"Dad-" Dinah went to protest, guilt swarming in her chest, knowing that if she hadn't of said anything Sarah wouldn't be grounded and wouldn't be angry with her.

"You don't need to fill your mom's shoes D. That's not your job. I'm the parent, you be a kid while you can okay? Let her pout, she'll get over it." Quintin came up to his oldest daughter, kissing the side of her head and patting her shoulder.

"I'm worried about her..." Dinah trailed off, even though her dad had told her enough times she didn't need to take over her mom's role in the house she still felt responsible. Sarah was still grieving, in truth so was Dinah, but she buried it all in the work of school and training and taking care of her dad and sister.

"I am too. But she'll be okay, she's a tough cookie, like her mom. Like her sister." Her dad poked Dinah's forehead, causing the twenty year old to chuckle and swat at his hand. The man laughing at her reaction and moving past her to his room at the end. Stopping in his doorway he looked back to Dinah, who had taken to looking at Sarah's door with guilt laden eyes, "This will all blow over, just wait, by next week she'll have forgotten all about this."

"You're right," Dinah tried to believe in her own words but this feeling settling in her stomach whispered in her ears, calling her a liar. She ignored it.

Dinah couldn't sleep that night, tossing and turning for hours until she gave up and gave in. Tiptoeing to her sisters door, opening it silently and slipping in.

"Sarah." She whispered, waiting for a response, only to get nothing but wind from the open window. Sarah's pink curtains flapping gently, slapping softly against the sill. Moonlight lit the room once Dinah's eyes adjusted and her heart dropped when she saw the clothes on the floor, dresser drawers opened and emptied, bed unmade and empty.

"No, no, no." Dinah rushed to the open window and looked down at the fire escapes. Seeing no trace of Kate. The woman pushed herself back and ran a hand through her hair, tugging at the roots painfully as her brain started racing. Her breathing picking up. She could recognize the signs of the impending panic attack and tried to stop it in it's tracks. She was Black Canary. She needed to pull herself together and find her kid.

Her hands never stopped shaking though.

~~*~~

Mount Justice

August 6, 16:30 EDT

It had been quiet among the team, Besides Wally and Robin bickering over videogames and M'gann cooking in the kitchen. Superboy somewhere in the mountain. Kaldur looked around at the slightly chaotic peace and noticed someone was missing, checking the time via wall clock and standing.

"Has anyone heard from Gold Finch by chance? I find it odd she is not here." Once the Atlantean brought attention to her absence the other also looked around before sharing glances.

"Has anyone checked the library? She likes to hide out in there. Maybe she came in and we just missed her or something." Wally waved it off, munching on some pretzels out of the bowl in his lap. Robin pulled out his wrist holo-computer and typed quickly, strings of code reflected in his dark sunglasses.

"Nope. I don't see her on cameras." Robin shook his head and shut down the holo-computer. Worry seeping into his voice.

Kaldur's eyebrows furrowed as he walked over and pressed on the comm unit on the wall by the kitchen, "Red Tornado, is there any word on Gold Finch? We were expecting her today."

"Gold Finch will not be available for the time being." The unit crackled to life in response, the hero's robotic voice sounding even more choppy over comms. His words sent a shot of concern through the group.

"Is everything okay?" Robin spoke up, making his way over to the Comm unit beside Kaldur.

"I have been instructed that information about Gold Finch is strictly on a need to know basis as of now and the distant future."

"So, no." Robin mumbled to himself as Red cut the connection, obviously done with the conversation. Robin looked between Wally and Kaldur, an unspoken agreement coming to be had between them.

~~*~~

"I can't find her anywhere. She must have ditched everything." Robin continued to hack, what systems? Nobody really knew or understood but the boy's words sent a round of worried looks around the gathered circle of teammates and blooming friends. Superboy sitting off to the side on the couch but still listening and paying attention.

Wally took a breath and dragged a hand down the side of his face, "Should we call him?", his bright green eyes trading glances with Robin and Kaldur. Miss Martian out of the loop and visibly confused.

"Call who?" She asked.

"Speedy-"

"Green Arrow's old sidekick, she and him were close, if anybody could find her it would be him." Robin answered, powering down his wrist computer and sighing.

"Call him." Kaldur made the final call and the next thing the team knew Roy's masked face was on the computer, narrowed eyes falling on each of the younger members.

"She's not missing, she's-" Roy puffed out an annoyed breathe and pinched the bridge of his nose while shaking his head, "You're not wrong to be worried, I'll find her." He sighed and before the team could even get out a peep he glared down at them, "Alone."

"What?! No way! We're coming with you." Wally protested among unhappy complaints claiming Kate as their friend.

"It's alone or not at all, take your pick." Roy squared his shoulders, crossing his arms over his chest. Besides Kaldur the team continued to protest, until Kaldur held up a hand, silencing the team.

"We will leave it to you." With a nod passed between the two older vigilantes Kaldur signed off. Silencing protests with a look and leaving the room.

The other's sharking looks once again before going back to what they had been doing before, the two boys knowing that they needed to trust Roy. Because as much as the older boy would complain about Kate, it was with the same devotion and underlying love of an older brother. And even though Roy was desperately and quite harshly pushing everyone away, Rob had seen the inscription in that book of hers. The red head still cared, a lot more than he let anyone else in on. That's how Rob knew to let the Arrow family take care of their business, everything would work out.

He was still going to keep tabs though of course. Like any good teammate.

~~*~~

Star City

August 6, 22:38 EDT

Roy should have guessed she would be here.

"Where would you go?" Roy asked, a sheen of sweat just starting on his forehead as he sat back against a table in the cave, watching Kate attempt to pull back one of his older bows, chuckling when she couldn't and receiving a glare from the girl. Who had crashed his training session.

Roy could see the itch to run in her eyes, he will admit that he sometimes missed the freedom that being a street kid gave him. When he could do whatever he wanted, no one to tell him what to do or where to go. Just being responsible for himself and no one else. The freedom to go anywhere at the drop of a hat, especially when he felt like he was somewhere he shouldn't be.

He could see so much of his younger self in Kate it made him proud of how far he had come, it was hard not to sympathize with the girl. Even though that and his empathetic abilities were not things he was renowned for. He would wonder if this is what Ollie felt like when he came across a much younger Roy one day.

All he received was a confused look from the quiet girl, she barely said anything. Ever. So he didn't know why he was even trying to talk to her when he knew she wouldn't respond.

"I used to go to this building right in the middle of the Glade, the padlock on the fire escape ladder was broken and whoever owned the building didn't care to fix it. I would climb to the roof and just sit on the ledge. Look out over the glade, home." Roy tossed out onto the floor, pushing off the table and grabbing his water bottle. Taking a drink while watching Kate as she took in his words, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip in deep thought. Weary eyes darting between him and the bow in her hands, fingers mindlessly playing with the bow string's tension.

Roy waited for a second as the girl went to open her mouth but though better of it and her teeth clicked with the force of her jaw snapping shut. Roy sighed and picked up his bow again, going back to his spot next to Kate at the shooting range. The targets set up at variable distances away.

Just as Roy pulled back his ears picked up the whispery voice of the girl next to him, "There was this warehouse on the docks, condemned, a faded sign painted on the side of it "Phil's" something. There's a secret spot to climb up to the top, I think it used to be an office. The wall was busted but it looked out over the harbor, it was pretty. Quiet."

Roy released his arrow, not needing to look to know it sunk into the center. His eyes turning back to Kate knowing exactly what warehouse she was talking about. It was a hub for druggies and street kids, sometimes those two descriptors crossing over.

"Don't let Oliver see you holding that bow like that, he may just have a heart attack," Roy chuckled, taking a breathe before motioning her over to the wall next to them which held Roy and Oliver's bows from their respective career's as hero's. Roy grabbing one from when he was about ten and handing it to Kate, trading it for the one she had. Roy hanging it up and then motioning her over to the lanes again. Careful not to touch her even in passing. "Watch me."

Roy's feet found the holds on the drainpipe, the brackets complying with his use of them with a loud groan. The pieces of metal holding on by the last threads of their rusty screws. Pulling himself up to the hole in the side of the building was easy, Kate wasn't here, yet. So, he used to the time he had to take in the space. A pile of moldy blankets lay over a broken pallet bed in the far corner. Kate's backpack sitting at the foot of it. A desk that had seen better day pushed into the middle of the room, the chair looking like it was one person sitting in it away from collapsing. Papers, debris, and leaves littering the floor.

Roy heard the creak of the pipe's brackets and hid in the shadows.

Kate had no luck that night trying to find something to eat, her time with Ollie and Dinah had been brief but it had ruined her ability to stomach anything from a trashcan. Kate struggled to pull herself up, her muscles tired. And if she was honest so was her brain, the feeling of every safety net Dinah and her had worked so hard to put up had imploded. Leaving her in a state of fight or flight and as the one person who was threatening her spot wasn't there for her to fight she only had one option left.

The girl paused laying on her side on the ground after pulling herself fully inside her sanctuary, taking a breath. Rolling onto her back in a flash, her pocketknife flying from her fingers. The older red head cursing and stepping into the moonlight, the knife's handle held in his hand. Knuckles white around the grip.

Roy had to take a breath to calm himself, anger was not going to help the situation.

"You were right about the view, it's nice." Roy closed her pocket knife and tossed it back to her. The girl scrambling to grab it and get up on her feet. Her blonde hair messy and tangled around her dirty face. She didn't say anything, but the message in her eyes was clear.

She wasn't coming back.

Roy huffed and slowly walked closer to her, leaning against the rotting desk and crossing his arms over his stomach loosely.

"You have a lot of people worried about you." Roy tried again, raising an eyebrow when Kate huffed, crossing her own arms tightly across her middle and turning to the view to escape his eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Did you get the book?" Roy asked, pushing off the desk and sitting on the crumbling edge, motioning Kate to do the same.

Kate huffed loudly and sat beside him with a plop, "What do you want, Roy?"

"Already answered."

"Liar." Kate scoffed. Roy chuckling at the accusation, leaning back on his hands as a gentle harbor breeze blew past them.

"Oh? How so?" He raised an eyebrow. Kate tensed up and pulled her knees into her chest, arms stiff, bitten down nails digging into her shins.

Roy's eyebrows drew in and he sat forward, trying to find her eyes but she evaded him. Tucking farther into herself and turning away.

"....Nevermind." She couldn't tell him, no matter how much she wanted to, because that would probably hurt him worse than it did her. And as much as she told herself she hated him, she couldn't kick him while he was down, while he was building himself back up from the looks of it. She had had that happen to her too many times for her to ever do that to someone else.

"Kate-" Roy tried but Kate wasn't having it.

"You look good. I see solo work has been treating you well." Kate tempted a glance over her shoulder, the older boy seeing in better detail the bruise that was forming on her cheek bone and temple.

"You could say that." Roy agreed neutrally, looking out at the view. Hands clenching behind him. "You need to go home-"

"I am home." Kate cut him off again and Roy huffed.

"This isn't your home anymore-"

"This has always been my home, I was stupid to ever let myself think any different." Kate shot up, pacing back over to the desk. Putting space between her and Roy. Roy stayed sitting, letting the girl have the power position, she needed the false safety more than he did. He wasn't going to get through to her this way.

"I ran away too, more times than I could count, I always came back though." Kate's attention was peaked and Roy leaned back against the stone wall. Loose bricks wiggling against his spine in a warning.

"Why?"

"It wasn't for Ollie's cooking I'll tell you that." Roy tried and got a small smile and a breathy laugh from the girl. The girl quickly correcting her composure though and tensing up once again. Roy sighed and stood, coming to the other side of the desk and leaning on his hands. The wood giving it's protest that was promptly ignored.

"I know how hard it is to stay." Roy continued, "Stay in the nice bed and full pantry. I went through it too with them," Kate stilled, her nails picking at the skin on her fingers, "Probably worse then you are now. I know how hard it is to stay in such a nice place, when all you've known is bad. The anxiety, the fear, the feeling like the other shoe is gonna drop at any second and they'll turn on you." Roy pushed off the desk, running a hand down his face before stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. "I know how you're feeling right now. But I always came back, just like I know you will."

"Yeah? You sure about that?" Kate's voice was soft, filled with too much air to keep up her façade of anger.

"Yeah." Roy nodded.

"How?" Kate fully turned to him and in the soft moonlight he could finally see how much damage and scuffs she had taken in the almost two days she had been on the streets. Long blonde hair and silvery eyes morphing into red hair and bright blue as a younger version of himself appeared in front of him. Blinking harshly made the mini-him go away, but Kate remained, guarded and upset.

Scared.

"Because we're a lot alike you and me. That's how." Roy puffed out his chest and Kate scoffed. Her eyes taking on a malicious glint for a split second.

"We both run away." Her words came out with a bite he wasn't expecting, but probably should have.

"I didn't run away-" Roy tried and failed.

"Yes, you did." Kate solidified and Roy hung his head for a second before looking back at Kate.

"I left. For good reason. That's different than running away." He tried to justify but just like he could see through Kate, Kate could see through him.

"You missed dinner." The breath paused in Roy's chest as the hurt filled Kate's eyes. He never meant to hurt her, he just couldn't be around Oliver and Dinah. Not after they betrayed him the way they did, lying to him and making him believe he was getting inducted into the league. He had put in the work and in his mind he was ready. But, to Oliver, he was always going to be that kid he picked up in an alley in the Glade. Malnourished and desperate. Angry.

Scared.

Oliver was never going to see him as his own hero. If he had stayed he would have always been Green Arrows Side kick that no one could remember the name of. He had worked too hard to be just Speedy.

"Those people aren't my family anymore." He spit, his anger getting the better of him in the moment.

"What about me huh?" Kate tried to hide how her voice broke, but there was no hiding how her eyes stung and nose burned.

Roy sighed, kicking the ground and throwing his eyes to the side, away from Kate to give her some kind of privacy. Clicking his tongue as she sniffled and harshly rubbed at her nose, he spoke, "The fact of the matter is that you have a choice to make. Clock's ticking."

Roy didn't wait for a response before he was walking to the edge of the room he had climbed through and stepping off.

~~*~~

"Shit." Kate cursed, dragging her hands through her hair as she started pacing behind the desk, already bitten down nails meeting her lips. Teeth sinking into the skin on her thumb, eyeing the floor with intense eyes. Eyes that looked more silver in the moonlight than blue.

Thoughts racing through her head a million miles a second as her brain fully processed the conversation she had just had with Roy.

Her heart was racing in her chest and the tears she had tried to keep at bay while Roy was here came back with a vengeance. Overflowing silently as she sunk to the ground, hands clapping around her mouth as her breath through her nose stuttered.

She wanted to curse Dinah and Oliver, like Roy had. She tried to be angry, she really did. But she just couldn't. Not when she was so sad. So hurt. So tired.

A crack of thunder shook her, sending her back into the wall by the door that lead to a staircase down to the main level of the warehouse where a handful of other homeless were camped out. The door's hinges rusted shut to a degree that it wouldn't open from either direction.

"Dinah..." Kate knocked softly on the woman's door, her voice quiet but not as quiet as it was before. Progress. Seeing the woman sound asleep Kate sunk her teeth into her bottom lip. Her eyes showing the anxiety she felt and tried to hide.

The crack of thunder and pounding of the rain getting louder suddenly causing her to yelp and rush into the room, past the invisible boundary Kate had set up in her mind. Dinah jolted awake when she felt the presence of another body on hers.

"Wha... Kate?" Dinah sluggishly put together, the younger girl seeming to try to disappear into the woman's back. Flinching when another roll of thunder sounded and Dinah, sleepy and half-awake, put it together. Huffing out a small chuckle and pushing the girl away slightly. Lifting the covers and letting the girl burrow into her sheets. Thin fingers finding the woman's wrist and holding on for dear life. "You're okay. I'm right here." Dinah whispered, laying a quick kiss to the girl's forehead before the girl lodged herself under her chin and into her collar bone.

Kate had never felt so... Safe. The thunder became background noise to Dinah's steady heartbeat in her ears. The pulse against her skin reminded her this was real. That she was really here, this wasn't some kind of sick dream that left salty tears on her lashes when she woke up. Dinah's finger's in her hair sent Kate to sleep faster than she had ever been able to fall asleep on her own. The warmth of the sheets and Dinah's body acting like a barrier, protecting her from the cold rain outside that used to soak her to the bone.

Safe. Warm. Loved.

Kate held her hand out past where the roof stopped and felt the icy daggers hit her skin, the girl gasping and stumbling back. With shaking hands Kate ran her palms over and over the outside of her jean covered thighs. Pupils dilating as her breaths picked up. Her hands reaching up to her hair and grasping at the roots painfully.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Kate breathed harshly, "What did you do?"

Kate swallowed hard, looking around in panic, her hands back by her sides and jerking. Needing to do something but she didn't know what until they were reaching out on their own and pushing off everything on the old desk to the floor. A scream trapped in her throat as her mind raced.

She had stepped in it now. She left. Ran away from the only family she had left. From the only people who had ever wanted to help her. Who had ever treated her kindly. And she essentially spit in their face.

She had been MIA for almost two days, the team had to be wondering where she was. Surely people had noticed Goldfinch was missing from Canary's side, if Dinah had even gone out.

Goldfinch.

Dinah.

Oliver.

The Team.

Kate continued to curse as she kicked the desk over and over. Throwing the chair out the hole in the wall and listening to the shattering of stale plastic, the sound shredding her chest as her knees gave out. Crouching down Kate tried to control her breathing in the way Dinah had taught her but remembering only hurt more. Falling back Kate threw her head back repeatedly against the desk behind her.

She ruined things. Like she always does.

She was so cold. Her whole body vibrating with her jilted breaths. The cold wind cutting through the room slicing into her skin and leaving red lines in its wake. All she wanted was to be back at Dinah's apartment – Their apartment – she wanted to go home. With her cheap desk and bookshelf and Dinah. But she messed that up. Like she always does.

The room started to shrink, and Kate knew it was in her head, this wasn't Alice in wonderland. Even though she did feel more than a little lost in this moment, she couldn't be here. This wasn't right. In a haze Kate took off on autopilot. Grabbing her backpack and throwing up her hood before climbing down the drainpipe. Not knowing where she was going, just letting her feet take her to a place that didn't currently make her feel like she had a million pounds sitting on her chest.

She walked and walked and walked until she found herself outside the door of the apartment she had called home for the last months. Her brain screaming at her to run, why did she feel like she was dying? But her body betrayed her, hand knocking before she could stop herself. Blank stare forward as the door was ripped open. Ice water dripping down every inch of exposed skin, her shoes soaked and covered in mud, hair plastered to her face, clothes sticking to her skin like glue, and shaking like a leaf.

That was how she stood in front of the woman who had been nothing but good to her, mouth refusing to move. Tongue frozen. But Dinah knew, or she just didn't care. Kate had been expecting to get yelled at, hit, kicked, pushed away, told to never come back. But her brain knew that wasn't right, deep down, because Dinah wasn't everyone else.

The proof being just how in a split second of their eyes meeting, Dinah understood, without words. Her arms suddenly around Kate like steel cables, a hand on the back of her head, keeping her close to the woman. As if Dinah needed to make sure Kate wasn't a figment of her imagination. 

The older woman held on for a long time and Kate didn't protest. Her arms coming up to grip the bottom of Dinah's shirt, which Kate recognized as one of Ollie's. The dark green carrying the scent of his cologne mixing with the smell of Dinah's shampoo to create a bubble of warmth around Kate. Of safety.

It was only then that Kate started to register that Dinah was saying something.

"Thank god you're okay, I was so worried. Are you okay?" That's when Dinah decided to pull away slightly, not far, just enough to grab the girl's face in her hands, hissing at the icy temperature her warms palms were met with. Her thumb running over Kate's cheek bone, her bruise more noticeable now that some time had set in for it to settle. Fingers finding the one on her temple and the self-inflicted wounds on her hands. Dinah looked as out of it as Kate did and guilt ate Kate alive from the inside.

She did that. She made Dinah worry. What was wrong with her?

"I'm sorr-"

"Shhh." Dinah stopped her gently, wrapping a strong arm around her shoulders and pulling her inside, it's only then that Kate noticed Dinah was shaking. Just as bad, if not worse, then her right now. "Let's get you a warm shower and some food yeah?" Dinah brushed over what she knew they needed to talk about. Too shaken herself to even dream of being composed right now. "Oliver!" She called as they passed the threshold of the apartment.

Heavy footsteps filled the tense silence of the space, and the disheveled man came stumbling into view. His hair messy as if he had been running his hands through it too many times.

"K-Kate?" He stuttered, taking harsh, jerky steps until his stride lengthened and his arms were around her and Dinah. His shoulders falling noticeably as if all the stress fell out of his body through his shoes and disappeared into the floor. "Thank god."

When Kate's temperature finally registered to the man he pulled away with wide eyes, lifting the back of his hand. Kate couldn't help the flinch as he went to put his hand on her forehead, Ollie reacted as if he had been struck, taking a step back, his words cutting off as half spoken apologies tried to finish themselves.

"I'm- I didn't mean to- you're freezing," He cut his eyes to Dinah, "She's freezing." The woman just nodded, asking the man to go and run the shower as warm as it could go. Her arm still tightly around Kate's shoulders. Manicured nails digging into Kate's jacket as if Dinah just held tight enough Kate would never leave again.

Most people would probably find it suffocating, or controlling, or just claustrophobic, but it's exactly what Kate needed to start to come out of her anxiety and panic induced haze. Dinah was holding her close. Not pushing her away. Not screaming or cussing at her or calling her horrible names and hitting her. She was holding on for dear life.

She was holding on.

~~*~~

After a scalding shower and some pizza Kate was sat in her bed under her covers, her comforter pulled up to her chin. Dinah and Oliver on either side of her, not touching her but just existing in the same space after such an exhausting night. All three emotionally tapped out and frazzled, but at peace knowing that they were where they needed to be. That they were where they belonged.

Kate timidly reached out, grabbing Dinah's hand and putting on top of her hair, and linking her fingers with Oliver's hand closest to her. The woman getting the memo and almost breathing out a sigh of relief. Needing the touch to remind her this was real. That this wasn't a dream that was going to leave her waking up with salty tears on her lashes. Kate was back, she was safe.

Everything was going to be okay.

~~*~~

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

I’d put a crown at your feet... (Part I)

For the dearest @marilynmonroefanfics​ 💝👄

Hope you’ll like the story.

TW: mentions of smut

June 1972. Castle of Balmoral.

Walking through the Scottish lands, Philip Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh, was in a foul mood. 

He felt like his life was falling apart for two years. Or maybe for more years? 

He did not remember when it went sour, but for sure, he knew that his life was a complete mess.

First of all, his marriage was falling apart: he and Elizabeth grew distant from each other. Farewell, the sweet romance of the beginning! Even the birth of Edward, their last child, did not manage to patch things up between them.

Secondly, his “dear” wife did not show any maternal love for their children. She cast Charles, Anne, Andrew, and Edward away, often scolding them for their mistakes and barely complimenting their efforts or successes. 

Philip had to admit that he was not really present for his children, but he was not at ease with them. Moreover, Elizabeth took perverse pleasure remembering his royal duties.

But the final straw was when he discovered that his spouse enjoyed the company of other men, to say the least.

Amazing! And he was the one the press accused of being a cheating husband! It is a topsy-turvy world!

As he was brooding over the disaster of his personal life, he did not hear the sound of a four-wheel-drive coming near to him until a familiar voice called him:

"Hello there, dear brother-in-law!"

He turned around and saw Margaret at the wheel of her vehicle, a slight smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?"

"Invading Scotland! Seriously, I'm escaping from my sister's boring sycophants! They were wasting my day!"

Philip smirked: his sister-in-law was the best person to understand how he felt in this oppressive world. Even if they did not have the same character, Philip and Margaret managed to get along. Especially since they had to tolerate Elizabeth's obnoxious behavior for some years.

"If you talk about the Daniels and the Furlingtons, you took the best decision! I would do the same!"

"Is it not what you're currently doing? Escaping from my dear sister at long strides?"

The prince shrugged.

"Maybe..."

"I see... Fancy a ride?"

"Is it risky?" joked Philip.

"Oh, don't be such a coward! Get in the car!"

"How could I refuse such a lovely request?" said her brother-in-law with irony as he climbed in the car!

Soon after, they were driving into the Scottish countryside, enjoying the view at every turn. Philip admitted that his legs needed some rest after his long walk.

After half an hour of driving, Margaret stopped the car, and they appreciated the point of view.

"Well, I have to tell: you are an excellent driver!"

"Oh, I had a good teacher! Dad and I used to drive there when I was younger!"

She sadly smiled.

"I remember his laugh... He told me how bold I was!"

"I wish I could have those kinds of memories with my own father!" answered Philip.

"Sure, you were not lucky!"

Both stayed silent, watching the calm landscape until Margaret spoke again.

"If Dad were among us, he would never let Elizabeth behaving that way with you or the children!"

"You're probably right. Unfortunately, I don't know what your mother thinks about it!"

"Don't worry about that! She often criticizes Lizzie for her lack of maternal love! She said that the monarch of Great Britain should never forget both their royal obligations and their parental duties!"

"Regrettably, your sister does not really care about it!"

Margaret scoffed.

"You bet she did not listen! My dear sister repeats that her children are more a burden than a blessing!"

She turned towards Philip.

"Speaking of that, make some effort, damn it! It looks like you're trying to avoid them at any cost! Don't you love your children?"

This question hit Philip like a punch!

"What are you talking about? Of course, I love my children!"

"Then, act like it! They are craving affection, and they cannot count on their mother for that! They need their father, and if you don't do anything to rectify the situation, you will regret it!"

The Duke of Edinburgh sighed.

"I know that it's not an excuse, but nobody taught me how to be a father. I tried my best, but I only witness the disaster I've created!"

"Don't be so pessimistic, or you're going to make me depressed! Sincerely, between you and my sister, you are the better parent! You just have to improve it, and it's not too late!"

She frowned.

"But I can't even believe Lizzie dared cheat on you with this jackass!"

"You know the name of her lover?"

"The most recent one? Of course, I know his name... and you know him too!"

"Who is it?"

"You won't like it... But it's Roger Acherville, one of your squires!"

Enraged, Philip struck the dashboard.

"DAMN IT! THIS RASCAL BOWED AND SCRAPED IN FRONT OF ME, BUT SHARED MY WIFE'S BED!"

Margaret bit her lip: she wished she never had to tell that news to her brother-in-law, but she must tell him the truth, even if it hurts like hell!

"I'm sorry, Philip. I'd prefer never tell you this..."

He interrupted her.

"No, you were right. You did well to tell me who my wife is cheating on me with right now!"

Philip was upset. How could Elizabeth do such a thing to him, after all they have been through together?

"But now I don't know what to do ..."

He turned to Margaret and saw that she was wearing a big, mischievous smile.

The kind of smile that announced that she had an idea behind her head and that didn't promise well.

"What are you going to tell me again as a twisted idea?"

"You know the law of retaliation: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth..."

"I know this motto, indeed. And then?"

"Well, what I mean is... I allow you to get your own back on my sister!"

Philip opened his eyes wide: he thought he hallucinated? Did Margaret just authorize him to cheat on Elizabeth? 

Years ago, she would have torn his eyes out if he ever imagines that possibility!

But now, the circumstances were different, and she was his best ally in Buckingham Palace.

Moreover, the idea of finding solace in someone else's arms was not unpleasant... 

He nodded.

"Alright! You convinced me!"

"Really?"

"Yes! After all, why my dear wife should be the one having fun?"

"That's the spirit, dear in-law! Before you start finding a lover, do you know what would make me happy?"

"What?"

"Shave that goddamn beard! You look like a caveman!"

The prince consort laughed: he almost forgot his bushy beard!

"What is the problem with that? It looks nice to me! People would think that I am an explorer! Or a Viking: after all, I am a Danish prince! Or maybe Socrates, as I am a Greek Prince too!"

"Of course, and I look like the lost twin of Marilyn Monroe!" she taunted the Duke while playfully punching him on the shoulder.

The two royals laughed and spoke for a long time, far from their daily issues. After all, this day was the beginning of a new journey for Philip Mountbatten...

Two months later. August 1972

Philip adjusted his bow tie: he hoped he wasn't doing anything stupid by accepting Margaret's invitation to one of her parties. She had promised him that he would not be bored and that he might find the perfect person.

He sighed: he knew he was running a risk looking for a mistress. 

If ever the press caught him in the arms of a woman, his reputation was gone! And his wife would not hesitate to put him down!

Straightening his chest, he gave a satisfied smile and got ready to join his sister-in-law when his son Andrew entered the room:

"Good evening, father ... Oh, you are very elegant!"

"Thanks, Andrew."

"Are you going out tonight?"

"Indeed, yes. I'm accompanying your Aunt Margaret to one of her parties. According to her, I am the guest of honor."

The 12-year-old boy nodded.

"Does ... Mother approve of this?"

"I have to. At least, your father will stop my sister from doing something stupid!" answered a familiar voice.

With these words, Queen Elizabeth entered the room. Dressed in a pearl gray satin dress, she had put on her most exquisite jewelry. She looked stern, almost disdainful. 

"Good evening, mother. You are beautiful tonight!"

The queen ignored the compliment and turned to her husband.

"Can I count on you so that Margaret doesn't end up dead drunk in another man's bed?"

"I'll do my best ... And you, what have you planned tonight?"

"I'm attending a reception at the Indian Embassy. As for Mother, she spends the evening with her lady-in-waiting, and Edward stays with them."

"And what about Charles and Anne?"

"I have no idea, and I don't want to know!"

Philip raised his eyebrows.

"I thought every parent should be worried about their children's nighttime activities!"

She replied in an annoyed tone.

"Oh, don't say such nonsense! They are old enough to fend for themselves! Besides, I have other priorities!"

She glanced at the clock that sat quietly in the back of the room.

"If you have nothing else to tell me, I'll leave you! I have to go to the embassy! Have a good evening!"

She turned on her heels and took off at a brisk pace, leaving her husband and son alone.

The Duke saw the sad look on Andrew's face and felt pain for him: how many times has he witnessed his wife ignore their children's words?

He tried to cheer his son up:

"Come on, it's nothing. I'm sure your compliment made your mother happy!"

Andrew replied:

"Don't bother too much about it, father. She does not care what I tell her. And she does the same to Charles, Anne, and even Edward!"

The young boy turned his gaze to his father:

"Even you, she snubs you all the time!"

"Well ... let's say that between adults, things can get more complicated!"

"Well, that doesn't make you want to be an adult!"

Philip laughed at the clear opinion of his third child.

"Don't worry, it won't be like this all the time! I'm sure you'll find someone you get along with!"

"I hope so too..."

Changing the subject, Philip asked:

"So what about you? What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm staying with Grandma and Edward. At least, I am sure to have a good evening!"

"I think so too. Well, I have to leave you: if I arrive late, your aunt might strangle me!"

"What are you waiting for? Go ahead!"

"I'm going! See you tomorrow!"

"See you tomorrow, father!"

Philip kissed his son on the forehead before heading outside the palace, where a limousine awaited him.

He got into the back of the vehicle and ordered his driver:

"We can go, Henry! Let's go to Princess Margaret's residence!"

"Right away, Your Highness!"

And the vehicle set off, taking the prince to the place of the party.

A few minutes later, he arrived outside Kensington Palace, where several luxury cars were already parked in the driveway.

With a steady step, he entered the house where a butler greeted him with deference:

"Welcome to Kensington Palace, Your Royal Highness."

"Thank you. Could you tell the Princess that I have arrived?"

"She's in the main living room, Your Highness. If you please follow me, sir ..."

The Duke of Edinburgh followed the servant into a large room with dancing music and laughter.

Philip spotted Margaret, in her best dress, chatting happily with her guests.

The butler walked up to his employer and announced:

"Lady Snowden, His Royal Highness Duke Philip of Edinburgh has arrived."

"Perfect! He's coming at the right time! Thanks, Howard!" Margaret exclaimed before going to greet her brother-in-law.

"Good evening, Philip. I see you dressed up… But you still haven't shaved your goddamn beard! What did I tell you?"

“This must be my rebellious side…” smirked Philip.

This remark amused the princess, who grinned.

"You got the point!"

She took his wrist.

"Come on! I have some lovely people to introduce you to!"

And so Philip became acquainted with singers, actors, dancers, musicians, artists, and other socialites of good English society.

Suddenly, he noticed the presence of a young man who was talking to some artists.

Although he tried to stay focused on the conversation, he found it difficult to take his eyes off this mysterious young man.

The latter had dark skin, raven hair, and intense ebony eyes. Dressed in an elegant black suit, he was rather slender and had elegant hands.

Philip saw that he was wearing light makeup that showed off his face. 

Margaret saw that her brother-in-law seemed hypnotized by the young man. She smiled:

"Tell me, Philip, would you like me to do the introductions with that handsome brunette over there?"

"What? Come on, Margaret, you don't have to ..."

"No way! Follow me!"

Letting out a long sigh, the Duke followed the Princess, who addressed her guests:

"So, are you having fun?"

"Absolutely, Maggie! This night is awesome!"

"I am delighted about it!"

She turned to the man who accompanied the mysterious young man.

"Jonathan, you nasty little secretive! You did not present me this delicious young person who accompanies you!"

"Where are my good manners? Margaret, Prince Philip, let me introduce you to Piero De Angelis! He is a model of your husband Anthony!"

"I should have guessed! Anthony has always had an eye for beauty!"

The British princess turned to the man named Piero.

"And you, my dear, how do you like this evening? Are you having fun, I hope?"

"Oh yes, Your Highness. I'm having a great evening!"

The prince noticed that he had a voice that was soft enough for a man.

"I am delighted about it!" smiled Margaret, who nudged Philip lightly.

The latter, having understood the message, cleared his throat before asking:

"Like that, your name is Piero? Like the character from commedia dell'arte?"

"Not quite, but I admit it sounds like it! My name is spelled P-I-E-R-O, while the character is spelled P-I-E-R-R-O-T. That is all the difference!"

"I see ... When you take a closer look, you look a bit like him!"

"Oh, really? Do I look melancholic?"

"No, but your makeup is as subtle as his!"

His sister-in-law slapped her forehead: she feared Philip might bring out one of his sharp sense of humor. His jokes tend to upset those involved. 

However, she did not expect Piero to respond maliciously:

"Beware, Your Highness: appearances are often deceptive. For example, when I look at you, I can say that it must be several centuries since you last saw a shaving foam!"

This gibe amused Margaret, who gave a fit of laughter, while the other guests gasped in horror: how dared this young commoner speaking to the prince consort with such poor manners?

As for Philip, he was taken aback: no one ever ventured to respond to one of his jokes. But he had to say: Piero had some spirit, and he liked that!

He laughed:

"Well played! I appreciate people with some character!"

Philip offered his hand to the young man:

"I know when I lost the game."

Smiling, the young Mister De Angelis shook hands with the prince:

"It was an honor verbally sparring with a member of the Royal family!"

At the second their hands touched, Philip felt like electricity went all over his body. He thought it has been years since he underwent such emotion... 

As for Piero, he was mesmerized: he always found Prince Philip attractive when he saw him on official pictures, but now, the young man could affirm that the prince consort was handsome, to say the least. 

The young man also observed that Philip's piercing eyes hid something else, but he could not tell what: sadness? Or melancholy? Hope? 

Yet, he was sure that the Duke of Edinburgh was not as happy as he seemed.

When they stopped shaking hands, Piero bowed respectfully before Philip:

"It was a pleasure speaking with you, sir."

"The pleasure was mine, Signore De Angelis."

Amused, the young man slightly bowed his head before he turned his heels and walked away.

Philip smirked: this young Piero was the most interesting man he ever met so far.

He glanced at Margaret, who smirked slightly. Looks like she had something in her mind...

"What?"

"Nothing... I just confirm that you find your match!" she muttered as she sipped her glass of Martini.

Rolling his eyes, Philip answered:

"Please, do not make overly ambitious plans!"

"What? Do not give me that stern look!"

Shaking his head in disbelief, Philip glanced at the young man with a sly smile on his face: he had the feeling that Piero would have an intriguing role in the future...

Two weeks later, at Kensington Palace.

In the main living room of the palace, Philip and Margaret talked about many gossips and their respective marriages.

"I'm glad to hear that you and Anthony are on better terms!"

"Yes. I would not lie, it was struggling. But, in the end, it is worth fighting for!"

The prince nodded before sighing:

"I really hoped that things would get better between Elizabeth and me. Unfortunately, I have to certify that it only worsens! She avoids me most of the time, and I am sure she pretends to have different appointments to be with this Acherville!"

His sister-in-law puts a sympathetic hand on his arm.

"I am sincerely sorry for this, Philip."

"Thank you, Margaret. But, my hardship only strengthens my desire to see someone else... Someone who can love me for who I am!"

An impish smile came across Margaret's face.

"A little bird tells me that you have a specific young man in your mind, am I right?"

The Duke of Edinburgh raised his hands in defeat.

"There's no fooling you!"

The princess squealed in delight.

"I knew it! I saw this little sparkle in your eyes that says a lot about your feelings!"

"Wait a minute... Are not you upset by the fact that I may be romantically involved with a man?" 

She shrugged.

"As if I care! Choose whoever you want to sleep with, as long as it gets on Lizzie's nerves!"

"I recognize your open-minded character!" chuckled Philip.

"Indeed."

"Speaking of him, what can you tell me about this Piero De Angelis?"

"Are you reading on my mind? I was about to tell you what I know so far!"

"Go ahead!"

She cleared her throat and answered:

"Well, I asked my best friend, Lady Anne Tennant, to give me some pieces of information about him. According to her, he was born in a middle-class family who fled Italy during World War Two. Loving parents, close relationships with his siblings. A nice life, to sum up. 

He is six years older than Charles. She also told me that he graduated from Oxford, but he prefers modeling. He sometimes worked as a tutor for children of noble families. I approve of his model career: he has such good looks! It would be a shame not to take advantage of it!"

"Sure... What about his temperament? His hobbies?"

"As far as I know, he is an artist: he loves drawing, sculpting, dancing, taking artistic pictures, painting, acting, and singing! A perfect artist, I tell you. Those who know him say that he is patient, charming, cultivated, smart, polite, and humble... He has some humor, but you have already noticed it. Ah, I almost forgot! He has some... unusual tastes!"

Philip raised an eyebrow, puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't imagine something scandalous! It's just that he loves good fashion, jewels, and perfumes."

"He has a fondness for feminine things..."

"Exactly. Is it not a problem?"

"Oh, I would handle... At least, I'll have someone to give those kinds of presents!"

"That's the Philip I know! I might add that he currently lives in the area of Westbourne, in the neighborhood of Notting Hill... which is not far from here!"

"You planned everything, did not you?"

"I learn to anticipate, dear in-law! He lives in a small house, so you won't be disturbed by potential housemates."

Philip smiled before saying:

"Alright. So, am I supposed to go there, and ask him out?"

Her grin confused the prince consort.

"Oh, dear... That won't be necessary!"

As Philip was about to ask what she meant, a butler appeared:

"Your Highness, Mister De Angelis is here. Shall I let him in?"

"Perfect, just in time! Let him in, Howard!"

The prince could not believe his ears:

"You invite him?"

"Of course, dear in-law! Like this, you would get to know each other better!"

At the same time, Piero entered the room, escorted by the butler. Margaret gave her warmest smile towards the young man:

"Piero, caro mio! What a pleasure to see you! How are you since the last time?"

"I am fine, thank you. I did not expect an invitation from you..."

He noticed the presence of Philip and bowed:

"Your Highness..."

"Mister De Angelis..."

Suddenly, Margaret stood up from her place and said:

"Well, you know what? I'll pop over Lady Anne and picking some pastries, while you two have a nice little conversation. I would not be too long..."

"What? But..." started Philip.

"No protest in my house! Alright, see you later!"

She turned her heels and walked out of the palace, followed by her butler.

The two men stood silent, looking at each other. Piero broke the silence as he tried a joke:

"I see that you finally shaved your beard..."

The prince chuckled:

"Yes, indeed. As you can see, my interview with the shaving foam went well."

"I hope my joke didn't offend you."

"Absolutely not. I'm fond of that kind of blunt humor, and I was pretty happy to find someone to share it with!"

"You see me honored, Your Highness."

Philip shook his head negatively.

"No formalities with me: we are not at Buckingham Palace! You can call me Philip!"

Piero was surprised by this inquiry but didn't really pay attention:

"However you like, Philip. In that case, you can call me Piero. Or Peter, if you prefer."

"Understood, Piero."

The young man asked:

"Did your wife ask you to shave?"

Piero regretted asking that question because he saw a glimmer of sadness in the Duke's eyes.

The latter sighed:

"No, I was the one who took that initiative. And to be honest, my wife doesn't really care about my hair choices. In fact, she doesn't really care about me at all!"

This revelation surprised Piero: he did not expect Prince Philip to make such a confession to him about his married life!

"You ... are you arguing?"

"If only that was all that! But unfortunately, there is also indifference, contempt, and estrangement!"

"I am sincerely sorry for you, Your Highness. But you know, all may not be lost: things will surely work out ..."

Philip laughed bitterly:

"How I would like to be as optimistic as you! But when the person you love goes to seek passion elsewhere, you no longer have any illusions!"

"Indeed, seen from that angle, it is a bad start to save a marriage ... But why are you telling me all this? You do not have to tell me these things."

With these words, the prince approached the young artist and replied:

“That's right, I'm not supposed to tell anyone about it. But I've been looking for someone for so long who could listen to me and understand me. I'm tired of feeling isolated… Nonetheless, ever since I met you, Piero, it's like the light has returned to my life. Yes, I know we barely got to know each other, but I've always trusted my instincts when it comes to people I meet, and I've been right every time. "

Piero began to understand where the duke was going and panicked:

"Huh? Oh no! No, no, no, and three times no!"

"What do you mean?" Philip asked, confused.

"I can see exactly what you want to ask, and I refuse! I don't want to be a simple consolation prize! I saw what it was like to be the lover of a king or a prince, and it doesn't make you want to be one! "

He continued in a calm tone:

"I have no doubt that you are a handsome man with many qualities, but I cannot accept being just a passing lover until the day you reconcile with the queen. I do not like the idea of being a simple shoulder to cry on that you give up as soon as everything is better. "

Philip was speechless: he expected everything but that! However, he should have waited a bit before declaring his love. But the tension in his relationship was so unbearable that he despaired finding someone he could love unconditionally.

And this young Piero was the person he needed ... he still had to accept!

Philip dropped to his knees in front of the young man, and took his hands between his while looking at him with pleading eyes:

"I swear Piero: if you were to become my lover, it's because I feel like no love exists anymore between Elizabeth and me. I suffered from abandonment when I was just a child, and I know only too well the harm it does. I would never do this to a person who is dear to me..."

"But get up, damn it! If we were seen like that ..." Piero stammered, panicked.

"I don't care! I know you are suspicious of beautiful promises, but I swear to you that I will never disappoint you. You will always be showered with gifts ..."

"Hang on! I'm not a materialist!"

"I know, I know ... I will make sure to spend time with you, I will call you regularly ... I will be the most devoted lover that can exist!"

The young man laughs lightly:

"Please, it feels like a Barbara Cartland novel!"

"Thank you for this unflattering comparison!" grumbled the prince, who smiled.

Philip stood up and asked:

"What are you going to decide?"

Piero bit his lip: to tell the truth, he was torn between two feelings. On the one hand, he was scared to become the lover of the Duke of Edinburgh. He did not want to betray the Queen and being the next prey of the press!

But on the other side, he had to admit that he was always fascinated by Prince Philip and his magnetic charm. And then there was this vulnerability in this man that the young man found irresistible.

After a few minutes of thought, he replied:

"I admit that this somewhat surprising declaration of love took me by surprise. And even if I do not want to be an accomplice in adultery, I want to give you a chance!"

Reassured, Philip dared to kiss the young man's tanned forehead and replied:

"I promise you won't regret it! How much time do I have ahead of me?"

"Two months. I think that will give me time to see if I can give it a go or not."

"And that will be more than enough to convince you!" Philip laughed.

10 months later. May 1973

The spring sun sneaked through the curtains, caressing Piero's sleepy face.

The latter woke up slowly and opened his eyes, a smile on his face.

He turned and fondly looked at his sleeping lover. 

The young man smiled when he saw Philip so appeased: he was happy to have accepted the prince consort's proposal.

At the same time, the latter succeeded in his probationary period: he was a considerate, loving, affectionate, and caring boyfriend. 

Piero had never had so many presents in his life: the number of beautiful clothes that filled his wardrobe was impressive. And what about the magnificent jewelry that Philip brought back from his official trips?

All this had convinced the young man to become Prince Philip's lover, but also his confidant: it was to him that the Duke of Edinburgh told of his marital misfortunes and his doubts about his ability to be a good father for their children. And Piero felt privileged to be one of the few to know Philip's emotional wounds.

But what made their relationship so intense was when they had sex. Although the prince was a middle-aged man, he was an experienced and vigorous lover. The first time they had sex, they took their time to get to know each other's bodies better and to have fun.

The other times, the antics were more intense, even passionate ... as was the case last night, when they "celebrated" Philip's return from an official trip to America.

He remembered the feel of Philip's rough yet gentle hands on his body, their bodies moving against each other, their cries of pleasure filling the air... It was a pleasant experience, even if it was the umpteenth time they made love.

Of course, the two lovers would like to see each other more often, but they had to be discreet so as not to attract the attention of the media, let alone that of the Queen.

But hey, that didn't bother Piero who was delighted not to become the new darling of London.

Suddenly he felt Philip stretch and wake up. The prince turned to his lover and smiled at him:

"Hello, mein Liebe. You are very early."

"To believe that I took your bad habit!" the young man smiled.

"But it's not a bad habit to be early in the morning. On the contrary, it gives me more time to enjoy your presence ..." the duke replied before kissing his lover.

"Speaking of having time to spare, wasn't it today that you promised Charles to have lunch with him?"

"Damn, I almost forgot!" Philip exclaimed, hopping out of bed before rushing into the bathroom.

"What a scatterbrain!" Piero laughed while getting dressed.

"I heard you!"

"That was the goal, amore!" replied the young man, teasingly.

5 minutes later, the Duke comes out of the bathroom, ready to return to his obligations.

"Am I presentable?"

"Honestly, you are still handsome!"

Smiling, Philip kissed his lover's cheek:

"I'll call you tonight, I promise."

"I will wait impatiently for your call ... Come on, go join your son!"

"I'm going right now. See you tonight!"

"See you tonight!"

As the Duke left the house, Peter lay still on his bed, a thoughtful smile on his lips.

He was glad that the relationship between Philip and his children had improved, especially thanks to his advice.

Piero had relied on his life with his parents and siblings to empower his lover to be a more present father to his children.

Speaking of which, Piero would love to meet his lover's offspring: seeing how Philip talks about it, they must be very nice young people.

He would love to talk about the arts with Charles, who seemed to be very passionate about it. 

He would also appreciate being able to walk with Anne and talk about lots of things or reassure her about her future as a young bride. 

He would love to give fashion advice to Andrew who was already paying attention to his appearance when he was only 13 years old.

 And he would be happy to spend time with Edward, the youngest of the siblings. 

This boy worried his father a lot because he was silent and always seemed sad...

Suddenly the phone rang, interrupting Piero's thoughts. 

He picked up the phone:

"Hello?"

"**Dear Piero, how are you?**"

"Oh, hello, Margaret. I'm fine, thank you. How about you?"

"**Oh, it's okay. As much as I wish I hadn't had tea with Sally Frodenborough! This woman is so boring, I thought I was going to fall asleep!**"

The young man laughed.

"Now do you understand why I politely decline her invitations for tea?"

"**You'll tell me so much ... But let's forget about it! Tell me instead about your relationship with my esteemed brother-in-law! How is it going?**"

"It's a fairy tale, I can't say better!"

Piero knew he owed it all to Margaret: she was the one who introduced them at that party at Kensington Palace. Since then, she had become an ally and a friend of the couple and did not hesitate to invite them to her home so that they could meet again.

All this with the benevolent complicity of her husband, Anthony.

Over time, the princess and the young artist became good friends, and she often invited Piero to have tea at her place.

"**Glad to hear that, darling. Besides, I have to say that your relationship is very positive for Philip. He is happier, more serene, and closer to his children. You did a great job!**"

"I only encouraged him, he did the rest!"

"**Don't be so modest! However, I think my sister is suspecting something!**"

Hearing this, Piero felt a chill run through his spine: if the queen ever learned that her husband was cheating on her with a simple artist, he feared the worst!

"When you say she suspects something, do you mean she suspects Philip of adultery?"

"**No, I wouldn't go that far. But she can see the change in Philip's mood and she knows it's not her responsibility. She's not really trying to find out, but let's be careful!**"

"You're right ... But, I admit that there are times I wish I could spend more time with Philip. I understand he's doing his best without raising suspicion, but ..."

"**I see what you mean, and I understand you ... Oh wait: I just got an idea!**"

"Again? But it never stops"

"**My dad always said I was the most imaginative of the family. Okay, here's what we could do...**"

A week later, at Buckingham Palace.

In one of the palace rooms, Queen Elizabeth was having tea with her mother, Queen Mum.

"But what is Margaret doing? She should have been here since 10 minutes ago!" the sovereign said impatiently.

"Don't be so harsh on your sister, Lilibeth. I've heard that traffic in London is a bit chaotic right now. If so, she got stuck in a traffic jam."

"Maybe ..." Elizabeth replied.

Suddenly a servant entered the room and announced:

"Her Royal Highness, Princess Margaret, your Majesty!"

"Finally, here she is! Let her in, thank you!"

The servant shifted and let Margaret in, accompanied by a dark, smartly dressed young man.

"Hello, my dear sister! Hello, mom! Sorry for the inconvenience, but there was an accident near Piccadilly Circus which disrupted all traffic. I thought we would never get there!"

"You see, Elizabeth: I was right ..."

"Indeed, mum. But tell me, Margaret, who is this man with you?"

"I was just going to explain it to you: you see, I thought back to your history of tutoring for Andrew and Edward. And it turns out that this young man, Piero De Angelis, worked as a tutor in very good families. Here, I have some letters of recommendation from them. " she said, handing out a few missives.

Elizabeth took the letters and read them in silence. After reading it, she said:

"My word, your former employers are heap praise on you, Mr. De Angelis. They compliment your pedagogy, your intellect, as well as your patience with children."

She gave a slight smile.

"Since my sister seems to find you suitable for her nephews, I think we can take you on for a trial period."

Piero respectfully bowed while giving the monarch a hand kiss.

"It would be a great honor for me to serve you, Your Majesty!"

"This young man looks very pleasant to me. In my opinion, your sons will be in good hands!" said the Queen Mother, amused.

"Thank you for placing your trust in me, Your Excellency!" Piero replied, giving a slight bow.

At the same time, the door opened and Philip entered the room.

"Ah, Philip: at the right time! I present to you Andrew and Edward's new tutor."

Seeing who it was, Philip thought he was having a heart attack: but what was Piero doing here? It was too risky!

When he saw Margaret by his side, it didn't take long for him to realize that she had yet come up with a completely crazy idea.

Straightening up slightly, he cleared his throat and politely said:

"Welcome, sir ..."

"My name is Piero De Angelis, Your Highness. It is a huge honor to meet you in person!"

The duke refrained from smiling: he had forgotten that his lover was an excellent actor. And he had just proven his talent in front of everyone!

"And how did he convince you to hire him?"

"He was warmly recommended to me by several high society families. All were satisfied with the work of Mr. De Angelis. It seemed logical to me to have a competent person to supervise the education of your youngest sons."

"Sounds perfectly fine to me!" replied the prince consort.

Satisfied with her husband's response, the Queen said:

"Perfect. Then maybe you could introduce Mister De Angelis to his future students?"

"But of course. If you will follow me, sir ..."

And as they were about to leave, Margaret followed on their heels:

"I'm going with them, just to make sure Philip would not terrorize the poor schoolmaster!"

"Hey, I am not a monster!" scoffed Philip.

The three left the room. The duke waited to be far from his wife to scolding his lover and his sister-in-law.

"What's got into you? Did you ever think about the risk of being caught?"

"Oh, don't be such a coward! I thought you would be pleased to have your lovebird here!" whispered Margaret.

"And I thought it would be easier for you if I work here. You won't have to find excuses to see me... Besides, I wanted to meet your children."

The prince consort raised an eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me: I wanted to meet your children. You talked about them since we started dating, that I aspired to know them better."

Philip pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed: it would be a miracle if Margaret and Piero did not drive him crazy. But, at least, he would manage to spend quality time with his sweetheart. So, why not take the risk?

"Fine, you convinced me. But, we have to intensify our discretion. Otherwise, we will be doomed!"

"I'll be careful, don't worry!" promised Piero as he gently held his lover's hand.

"Aw, you are so cute!" mockingly cooed Margaret.

"Please, Maggie: stop killing the mood!" grumbled the prince consort, rolling his eyes.

4 months later. August 1973.

"How do you find my drawing, Piero?"

"Let me look at it... Oh, it's beautiful! You have some talent, Edward!"

The young boy happily giggled: he really appreciated his new tutor. Unlike his predecessor, Piero was kind, patient, funny, and really interesting. Thanks to him, the little prince quickly understood his lesson by heart, and his grades improved. The same evolution can be noticed for Andrew: the teenager preferred learning with Piero to listening to his teachers at school.

"You think I am talented?"

"Absolutely! And for who you draw this?"

"For Anne! It would be her present for her wedding!"

"That's absolutely sweet, Edward. I am sure that she would love it!"

Speaking of the princess, she entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Mister De Angelis! Hello, Eddie!"

"Hi, Annie!"

"Good afternoon, Your Highness. How are you today?"

"Fine, thanks. I just come back from a horse-riding session with Mark!"

"Oh, lovely. How it went?"

"It went nice until it started raining. But we finished fast, so I would not soil the clean wooden floors of Buckingham Palace!" snickered Anne.

"Annie! Look what I've drawn for you!" cheerfully exclaimed Edward as he handed his drawing to his sister.

"Oh, thank you: I love it! I will show it to Mark: he would be impressed!"

"Can I draw something for him?"

"Why don't you ask him when he will come back?"

"Alright, I will wait!"

At the same time, Andrew entered the room, dressed in a nice suit.

"Good grief! I thought Mr. Brownsfield would never let us go!"

"Watch your language, young man! If your mother hears you, you will end up being lectured for hours!" gently advised Piero.

"I know, I know... But I am so relieved to be here!"

"I have noticed!"

Anne lightly cleared her throat.

"Piero, can we talk... in private with Andrew and you?"

"Of course! Edward, could you go with your grandmother? I have to discuss some important topics with your siblings."

"Are we finishing the lesson?"

"Yes, indeed. You can go!"

"Alright!" nodded the young boy as he exited the salon.

Soon as Edward left, the young man asked:

"What do you want to talk about, Anne?"

The princess sighed before answering:

"Well, it's about Charles... He is not well."

"Do you mean he is ill?"

"Depressed would be more accurate!"

"Oh, dear! And what depress him?"

Andrew explained:

"Well, his ex-girlfriend got married in July! And he did not really cope with their separation, months ago!"

Piero nodded: he knew that Charles was heart-broken since Camilla Shand, his former sweetheart, ended their love story last year. But he did not expect to be downcast to this point.

"And do you want me... to have a conversation with him?"

"Anne and I thought it would be helpful. After all, you are close to his age!"

"Mark tried to cheer his mood, but it did not work well!"

"Mh, I see... Fine, I will see what I can do!"

The two princes seemed relieved.

"Thank you for your help, Piero."

"That's what I am supposed to do. Where is he?"

"In the gardens. He needed some air..."

Thanking Anne and Andrew, Piero walked downstairs to the gardens where he found Charles, wandering like a lost soul.

"Charles?"

The Crown Prince looked at the schoolmaster and the latter saw deep grief in his eyes.

Slightly sighing, Piero kindly asked:

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I... I don't know."

"As you want. Perhaps it would take a weight off your mind..."

The prince breathed before asking:

"Could you walk with me... please?"

"Sure, of course."

The young man joined Charles, and they started walking through the gardens.

"I don't know how it happened... I should have known that she favored that Parker-Bowles over me! But I still clung to the last straw of hope until I heard of their engagement!"

"I'm sorry for your heartbreak, Charles. But that was another life lesson, even though it hurts..."

The Prince of Wales sadly sighed.

"And as if it was not painful enough, Mother still pressures me to find a suitable bride... Even Father worried about it!"

"You are only 25 years old: you will find her, I feel it!"

"If only my dear parents were as optimistic as you, Piero. But no, they repeated all day long that Father married Mother when he was my age, and I'm exhausted hearing it all the time!"

"What does your grandmother think about it?"

"She says that I should not hurry to find my future wife, because a hasty marriage would inevitably end in a disaster!"

Piero nodded.

"Your grandmother is right, Charles: if you only follow what your duties command, you will bitterly regret your decision for the rest of your life. Of course, you have to find your future Queen, but you must love her as much as she loves you!"

He saw tears forming in Charles's eyes.

"I know but... I feel like everything I do is not enough for my parents. Am I just a good for nothing?"

Instinctively, the young artist knew that he would break the etiquette... but who cares? So, he did hug Charles in a comforting embrace, gently stroking his back.

"It's okay, Charles. I am here."

The prince did not cry, but he felt relieved that someone finally comforted him, so he hugged back Piero.

"I know this is not very formal, but I thought it would help you!"

"To hell with formality! I needed someone listening to me..."

They stopped the hug and Charles stated:

"I understand why Andrew and Edward appreciated you, Mister De Angelis: your patience and your kindness are helpful for the four of us!"

Piero shrugged.

"I just... do what I think is the best for everyone!"

"And I am glad that someone like you ensures our well-being..."

The young man smiled.

"You have no idea how much I am honored to have your trust, Charles. Listen: I will talk with your parents about it, and we will sort it out!"

"Thank you, Piero."

Unbeknownst to the two men, Philip was looking at them from the window of his office. The Duke of Edinburgh smiled while seeing his lover bonding with his son: indeed, he was happy that his four children appreciated Piero. Even though neither of them is ready to tell the princes the truth about their relationship: they have to wait...

In the evening...

"Do you want your son going bonkers? Stop pressuring him about his love life!"

"But he is still unmarried! At his age..."

"Yes, yes, I know the story: at his age, you were already married to Elizabeth!"

Philip pinched the bridge of his nose: Piero and he argued about Charles's single status. His beloved artist thought that his eldest son would go down into depression because of the familial pressure.

"Piero, I understand your concern about Charles, but he knows his duties..."

"Oh, please: don't start lecturing me about duties! If you were that meticulous about duties, you would never choose to cheat on your wife!"

"Don't muddle up things, would you? She started the war!"

"Don't change the subject, would you? We are talking about your son, in case you forget it!"

Piero sighed.

"Charles believed that he felt like a failure towards you. And he can't count on his mother to dismiss his fears! For God's sake, be more supportive of your son!"

"But..."

"No buts! You have to admit that your eldest son is not your carbon copy!"

"I admitted it! But people start talking: he is unmarried, had no official girlfriends, and he prefers attending parties! Rumors are spreading all around the kingdom."

His lover gave him a dark look and said with a cold tone:

"Let me ask you this simple question, Philip of Edinburgh: what matters the most for you? The public image or the well-being of your son?"

Philip stayed silent, much to Piero's displeasure:

"Fine, I see... You know what? You have all night to think about it."

He turned his heels and walked away.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Did you really think I will spend the rest of the night with someone who does not listen to my advice? I really want to help you, Philip, and especially because I love you. But if you don't pull your weight, there is nothing more I can do. Good night!"

As he watched his lover walking away from him, the prince stood, desperate and worried. He messed up everything with his children, and now he messed up his love affair!

Philip sighed: why everything was so complicated? But, he had to acknowledge that Piero was right: he went back to his wrong habits, once again. 

And if he wanted to save what mattered the most to him, Philip had no other choice: he had to repair his faults...

14th November 1973.

The Westminster Abbey bells happily rang in the air. Indeed, the United Kingdom celebrated the wedding of Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips. A joyous day for the kingdom, and also for the royal family... Well, almost for Philip. Of course, he was so proud to walk his daughter down the aisle: what kind of father would not be happy for his child on this special day?

But what saddened the prince consort was that Piero barely talked to him since their argument about Charles. He could not blame him: the young man cared more about Charles, Anne, Andrew, and Edward than their own mother. 

As he watched his lovely Anne and Mark exchanging their vows, the prince spotted Piero, sitting near the Duchess of Gloucester. 

He knew that his wife allowed the presence of the young man at the ceremony to look after Edward, who was the page boy of his sister.

Piero was dashing in his pearl-grey suit, his white gloves, and his perfectly combed dark hair. Philip never ceased to be amazed by the angelic beauty of his lover. If only they did not argue 4 months ago, the prince would have already told the young artist how amazing he was.

But the young man was not inclined to speak with him yet, and this situation saddened Philip. 

Meanwhile, Margaret saw the two lovers with a sad smile: she hoped that this argument between Piero and Philip would not last long, as she feared it would break her brother-in-law's heart. She knew that the young Mister De Angelis was the only one for Philip, and she could not let this match made in heaven falling apart. 

Margaret smiled as she got another idea: the wedding reception will be the perfect occasion for a reconciliation...

Soon as they reached Buckingham Palace for the wedding lunch, Margaret whispered to Philip:

"Please, I know that you suffer, but talk to him!"

"I want to, but every time I look in his eyes... I only see anger and sadness. And I am the one who upset him!"

She gently patted his shoulder.

"You know what? Weddings are the best occasion to prove our love... or heal a relationship."

She winked before walking away, congratulating the newlyweds. As he thought about Maggie's musings, Philip smirked: after all, he learned to never give up what he held dear. And he would never give up on Piero... 

Later that day, as the guests were too busy dancing, gossiping, or enjoying food, the prince slipped away from the crowd and wandered in the corridors when he spotted Piero in a room, retouching his make-up. 

Smiling, Philip entered and said:

"Oh, dear: you do not need to change anything. You are already beautiful!"

Startled, the young artist stammered:

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk, I think.

Piero raised an eyebrow: 

"Really? About what?"

Philip closed the door behind him before answering:

"We need to talk about us. It feels like years since I hold you in my arms..."

"And why you do not hold me in your arms, precisely?"

The prince sighed.

"Because of my stubbornness, we are apart. And I regret it every second since that night. You were right from the beginning, Piero: what is the purpose of your help if I did not listen to your advice? I should have known that you're the right person since you only wanted the best for me. My words might sound hollow, but I will be grateful to you for being here when I felt alone!"

The young man sighed before looking at his royal lover with a sheepish smile:

"I had to confess: at first, I did not speak to you because I wanted to be sure you learned your lesson. But then... I took pleasure letting you stew for a moment."

Philip was shocked.

"Are you bloody kidding me?"

"Not at all. Besides... I already forgive you, my stubborn Viking!"

The prince smirked:

"And they said Arlequin is the trickster in chief... Looks like they underestimated Pierrot!"

"And you love it!"

"Oh yes!"

Piero laughed wholeheartedly. Then, he stated:

"So, you said that you missed the sensation of holding me..."

He opened his arms:

"Why don't we make up for lost time?"

Philip did not need to be asked twice and rushed into his arms, kissing him feverishly. Their hands rediscovered their bodies, every touch drawing breathed moans of pleasure from the two lovers.

"I love you, Piero."

"Ti amo, Philip."

And while the kingdom celebrated the wedding, the prince and the artist rejoiced in their reunion. 

June 1975. Balmoral Castle.

The summer went well for the royal family, and everyone appreciated the peacefulness of the Scottish countryside. For Piero, it was like discovering another place. He was amazed by the soft colors of the countryside and the calm surroundings, far from the lively Londonian life. 

To be honest, he did not expect the Queen to invite him to spend some days at Balmoral, but apparently, Edward insisted, and she accepted. How could he refuse the opportunity to be closer to his dear Philip? 

However, they both tried to be careful as he did not want to be caught by Elizabeth or the Queen Mother. 

But everything changed one day, as Elizabeth left with some of her friends for a horse-riding stroll with some of her friends, and her dear Mister Acherville.

It did not bother Philip, as he took advantage of her absence to spend some time with his dear artist. Once his wife went away, he looked for Piero until he found him in the gallery room, looking at the different pictures hanging on the walls.

Coming near to him, the prince gently held the young man from behind and said:

"Are you judging the quality of the paintings?"

"Well, I have to be honest that the painters were talented. Your wife should add your own paintings!"

"Seriously? She said it would look out of place... Besides, you are far more talented than me!"

Piero chuckled:

"You flatterer!"

"It is the truth! You're my perfect little Da Vinci!"

The young man turned around and put his arms around Philip's neck:

"And you're my handsome Saint John the Baptist with a mischievous smile!"

"You like my mischievous part of me!"

"No, I don't like it... I adore it!" chuckled Piero before kissing his lover.

Amused, the prince answered the kiss with the same passion... until they heard a collective gasp of shock!

They turned around and saw Charles, Anne, Mark, Andrew, and Edward who stood near the door, astounded and silent.

Horrified, Philip stammered:

"I... I can explain everything..."

"You better explain, yes!" said Anne with a cold tone.

Mark closed the door behind them, preventing any gossiping from the staff.

"Now that we are alone, can you explain what happens?"

"This scene does not really need an explanation..." smirked Charles.

Ashamed, the prince started to explain:

"I guess that we do not have the choice. As you have noticed, your mother and I do not have a good relationship for some years. I thought that it would improve, but she decided to spend some time with another man. I was so desperate, and I neglected you - and I am sorry for that. And then, your aunt Margaret introduced me to Piero..."

"Auntie Maggie and her plans!" snickered Andrew.

"You got the point, Andrew. And so, at the very moment I knew Piero, I felt like something changed... To be honest, I felt that I fell in love again. I would be forever grateful to Piero for everything he did for me."

"Was it your idea to hire him as Andrew and Edward's tutor?" asked Charles.

"No, it was again Margaret's idea. And I saw how you felt better since he spends time with all of you!"

"Do you plan to tell us the truth one day?" asked Andrew.

"We aspired to, but I do not want you to see me as an intruder in your family. But I can assure you that I deeply love your father as he loves me!" explained Piero.

The five young people looked at each other before Edward answered:

"You know, Mister Piero, I don't mind if you are in love with Papa. Besides, you love all of us more than Mum does. So, I am happy to have you here with us!"

"He is right: at least, you listen to us and you try to encourage us, unlike Mother!" added Andrew.

"I do not really care about my parents' affairs, as we all know that their marriage is doomed. But now, let's be honest, Piero: you made him happy, and it matters the most for us!" stated Charles with a genuine smile.

"I have to confess that this is quite unusual... But, my dear Anne has a high opinion of you, Mister De Angelis, and so am I. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone about your affair!" smiled Mark.

"You see, Father, we all support you, and we are happy to have Piero with us at Buckingham Palace. So, there is no need to worry." grinned Anne.

The two lovers sighed with relief: at least, they accepted their relationship. 

"Thank you very much!" breathed Philip with a slight smile.

"You're welcome, Father. But, the next time you want to show Piero your affection... Try being discreet!" laughed Andrew.

"He takes that from you, dear!" chuckled Piero.

"I guess so..." sighed Philip, even if he could not help smiling.

It looked like, after all, that they gained new allies... 

27 August 1979.

In his house, Piero was dozing on his couch, reading a collection of poetry works by Oscar Wilde while he listened to some trendy music on the radio.

Suddenly, he heard the voice of a journalist interrupting the music:

"Ladies and gentleman, we interrupt our program as dreadful news has just been released by Buckingham Palace: today, Lord Louis Mountbatten, Admiral of the Fleet and former Viceroy of India, has been killed by a bomb planted aboard his fishing boat while he was spending his holiday with his family in his summer home in Mullaghmore, in the north-west of Ireland. 

We deplored also the tragic loss of his grandson Nicholas Knatchbull and Paul Maxwell, a young local crew member. The remaining people present on the boat when the attack happened, suffered from serious injuries and were transported to the closest hospital..."

Piero dropped his book, troubled: it could not be! He rushed to his phone and dialed Philip's number. After a few seconds, he heard his lover's voice:

"**Hello?**"

"Philip, it's me! I have just heard about your uncle! Is that true?"

The slight sobbing on the other side of the phone answered his question:

"**They... They murdered him, Piero! They killed him! And they took his grandson's life! How dared they?**"

"I am terribly sorry for your loss, my love. I know how much he was a loved one to you..."

After all, Louis Mountbatten was not only the uncle of Philip: he was his paternal figure, a role model he praised so many times. Piero could not imagine how his lover suffered from this tragic loss.

"My condolences, amore mio. You are in my prayers, you and your family. I hope that the injured will recover soon."

"I hope so... Thank you for your call."

"You're welcome. How are the children?"

"Charles is deeply upset, Anne is crying, Andrew cannot believe it, and Edward tried to cope with this tragedy."

"I imagine... Don't hesitate to comfort them."

"I will... I am sorry, but I have to quit: Elizabeth required my help to organize the funeral. I'll call you later."

"Don't worry, it's fine. See you later, my love."

"See you later, angelo mio!"

As he hung up, Piero felt bad for Philip: his lover endured so many hardships in his life that the young man wondered if he can handle this new tragedy... 

5th September 1979.

Sitting in his living-room, Peter watched the funeral of Louis Mountbatten on television. He watched the royal family, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and her husband Denis, and some major figures of the kingdom attending the obsequies, all dressed in black and showing a sad expression on their faces. 

The young man wished he could attend the funeral, just to be here for Philip and comforting him. But it was the mourning of a family, and he did not belong to this family...

Later that day, he heard a knock on his door.

"I don't remember to entertain someone today..." muttered Piero as he opened the door.

Much to his surprise, Philip stood there.

"Philip? But what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you... Because I have something to tell you. May I come in?"

"Of course!"

The young man stepped aside and let the prince enter the house. Then, he closed the door behind him and asked:

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you."

"Alright. May I know what are doing here?"

He noticed that Philip held a large box under his arm.

"Hm, what is this?"

The duke sighed before explaining:

"Since the murder of my uncle, I thought about everything that happened in my life, both good and bad memories. And then, I thought about us, and I realize how important you are to me since we started our relationship. I wish I had met you sooner, but there we are. This tragedy casts light on the most significant person in my life: you."

He opened the box, revealing a golden crown before he put the ornament at Piero's feet. Then, he gets on one knee and said:

"You deserve everything, Piero. And moreover, you would be a wonderful consort. That's why I wanted to put a crown at your feet..."

"Wait for a second: it looks like a proposal... But you are already married!"

"I know, I know. I cannot divorce Elizabeth, and I think you understand that. But it is my way to say that I will belong to you, and you only for the rest of my life. And I wanted to know if you feel the same..."

Piero nervously chuckled.

"Oh Lord, that was unexpected!"

He kneeled near Philip and replied:

"I won't ask you to nullify your marriage, because I know what are the consequences. But I am moved by your gesture, and if you want to know, I will never look at someone else the way I am looking at you. I love you, Philip Mountbatten, and it won't change..."

"I love you too, Piero De Angelis." smiled Philip, relieved, before he kissed Piero.

As they tightly held each other, the two lovers felt like the sadness was less oppressive. They had the impression that nothing could tear them apart and they will surpass everything together.

October 1979.

"So, tell me more about this charming girl. What is her name, already?"

"Her name is Diana. Diana Spencer."

"What a lovely name! Is she the daughter of Count John Spencer?"

"Exactly."

Walking through the halls of Buckingham Palace, Charles and Piero were talking about the Crown Prince's new girlfriend, the young Diana Spencer.

"I know that you're dating her for perhaps one month, but how is your relationship?"

"Quite good, to be honest. She is calm, smiling, quite smart... Of course, she had different hobbies than mine but... I guess it's alright."

"I would like to meet her. I can invite both of you to my place if you want."

"It would be a pleasure."

A servant arrived.

"Mister De Angelis."

"Yes?"

"Her Majesty The Queen requires your presence in her office. If you please follow me..."

Piero was intrigued: why would the Queen want to see him?

"Alright, I arrive. See you later, your Highness."

"See you later, Mister De Angelis."

Piero followed the servant until they arrived in front of the door. The man knocked at the door before he announced:

"Mister De Angelis, Your Majesty."

"Perfect, George. Good afternoon, Mister De Angelis."

"Your Majesty," replied Piero.

The servant left the room. 

The young man politely said:

"Your Majesty, I renew my condolences after the tragic loss of Lord Mountbatten... I shall say that I share your pain."

The Queen answered in a neutral tone:

"Thank you for your consideration, Mister De Angelis. However, the pain is not the only thing we share..."

Puzzled, Piero asked:

"May I know what are you talking about?"

She looked at him with contempt:

"Don't you dare think I am a fool, Mister De Angelis? I have learned that you have an affair with my husband!"

Piero stared in amazement: how could she know about it? He was sure none of the children told their mother, neither Margaret nor Philip. So, it must be a servant...

"I am astounded by such accusations, Your Majesty. Your husband and I have only cordial relationships, and that's all!"

"Stop spreading your lies. I know that you are the mysterious person my husband comes to see almost every day."

She came closer to him and snarled:

"I gave you my trust, I even left my children with you, and this is how you thanked me?"

Usually, the young artist would have lowered his head and being ashamed. But this time, he stared defiantly at her and said with a cold tone: 

"Maybe I would be the rudest man in your kingdom, Your Majesty, but I can't stand such hypocrisy. Especially when it comes from someone who hurt her children and cheated on her devoted husband..."

"How dare you?!"

"I can ask you the same. You did not expect that I knew your dirty little secrets, am I right? After all, your lover was not really careful: he put his latest love letter in my office. What a big mistake!"

He restrained himself from smiling as he saw Elizabeth grew pale.

"But, I am a gentleman: I won't tell the media about your romance if you let us alone. Otherwise, the entire Commonwealth will hear about his adulterous Queen..."

"You have some nerve to threaten me as you do, Mister De Angelis..."

"I don't threaten, I warn: this is all the difference. After all, you would not have hesitated to destroy my life. Let's say that we are on equal terms for now..."

Suddenly, Philip and Margaret burst through the door.

"Ah, right in time, Philip. I have just tell Mister De Angelis that I knew about your affair."

As Philip was shocked, Margaret raised an eyebrow.

"And then? It's not like Philip was the only guilty!"

"You were supposed to support me, not to defy me!" snapped Elizabeth.

"How am I supposed to do that, as you enjoy belittle all your family members - it is a miracle that Mother is the only exception. And you deserve what happened..."

"Should I understand that you are behind this?"

"Absolutely, and I won't regret anything I did! And I am so glad that Philip has someone who did what you are supposed to do!"

The Queen fumed as she understood that her sister and her husband joined forces against her.

Philip added:

"You see, Elizabeth: you throw me away, but I won't running after you anymore. I finally find love again, and if you dare to mess up everything, I would not mind telling your friends about your relationship with Acherville."

Seething, Elizabeth raised her head in an arrogant gesture and declared:

"That is not going to happen for long, Philip. You know where your place is, and you will give this entertainer up!"

"I don't think so, dear wife. I am not the one who gives up so easily..."

He smirked.

"Now that you know everything, shall we leave you?"

"You're dismissed. Now, go!" she replied with a short tone.

The trio left the room, a relieved smile on their faces. However, they won't drop their guard, as they knew how embittered Elizabeth can be.

But it looked like she lost the war. Now, it was Philip and Piero's turn to conquer Buckingham Palace... 

To be continued...

N.B: This request is written like an AU and changed many things from the characters to the events. 

Please be kind and comprehensive and don’t snap about it!

Anyway, I hope you liked the story and I am waiting for your requests.

See you soon! 😘😷😍🥰💖

[patrickswayzeme]

Description: Klaus has to open up to Diego to prevent him from making a similar mistake. 

Warnings: Light swearing, implication of ptsd, angst 

Characters: Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves

Pairings: Past Klaus x Dave; past Eudora x DiegoSo I got this prompt back in AUGUST and I started on it then but then stuff kept happening and I never finished it. But now I finally did! The prompt was Klaus finally opening up to his siblings about Dave and the Vietnam War.   I want to more sibling and probably also have the rest of their conversation, but here’s the start! Thank you so much for the prompt and i’m so sorry this is so late and I’m not sure if you’ll even see it because you are on anon. 

*Since this isn’t the point of the prompt, I am not going to try and plot out what the heck is happening in season 3, but let’s assume that they are out of the house and staying somewhere together in the city, Reginald knows they’re there, and they know about the other academy, and there’s tension there but they’re trying to figure out how this timeline differs from theirs.*

--------

It was early in the morning, sunlight was only just visible over the horizon, Klaus was sitting on the roof of their new temporary family home. He mindlessly rubbed his fingers together, pulling at his shirt sleeve with his thumb. It felt strange to sit up on the roof like this without a cigarette between them, but it had been stranger to consider one and not hear Ben’s nagging. His absence was louder than his company had ever been, and Klaus didn’t want to acknowledge it. 

He had been up there for most of the night, not wanting to disturb his siblings. He leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes for a moment, starting to doze off as the incessant chattering of the dead was slowly replaced by the chirping of birds. 

He felt a loud bang and a vibration under him and jolted awake. His whole body shook and he quickly rolled over on his belly to try and miss the bomb and started sliding.

   Diego had thought he was being respectful to his siblings by sneaking out the side window. He knew they would roll their eyes at his “dramatic” exit, and maybe he did always choose the action movie route over the conventional, but that didn’t mean there was no thought put into it. When he turned the corner to the front yard it was very apparent that his plan had failed.  Two legs, clad in tight black leather, were dangling from the roof, desperately trying to find something to get a foothold of.  He looked up and saw Klaus’s fingers slipping on the edge of the roof. He instinctively grabbed Klaus by the waist, pulling him backwards so they both tumbled to the ground, Klaus’s fall mostly broken by Diego. 

“What the hell, Klaus?” Diego griped, wiggling out from under his brother and dusting himself off. 

Klaus lifted his head up off the ground, eyes big but glazed over, like he was just taking in his surroundings for the first time

“Oh, you know, just some morning yoga” Klaus joked softly, as he attempted to pull himself up off the ground, but his arms gave out and he let his face fall in the dirt and just laid there, letting out a weak laugh. 

“Klaus, come on, get up, you’re fine..” Diego insisted, rolling his eyes as he turned to his brother to lecture him more. He noticed how he his brother was shaking. Maybe the fall was worse than Diego thought and he was just getting too use to hard falls like that.

“I’m sorry I scared you…I thought you were in bed…you okay?”

He asked as he crouched down, his tone a little softer now. He tried to remember the way Eudora used to talk to victims and emulate that. Maybe Klaus was just pulling his leg, but something about him seemed…off.

"Oh nothing, just being a fuck up...” Klaus sighed, through a pained smile. “It’s fine, you should go to bed, I’m sure you’ve been up all night, you know...saving lives..” He laughed weakly as he quoted his brother back to him, expecting an angry rebuttal, as he took the hand Diego had offered and pulled himself up so they were both sitting on the ground. 

Diego didn’t react to the joke and now that Klaus got a good look at his brother, he realized he didn’t look like he had been up all night at all. No knives strapped to his body and he wasn’t even wearing all black. He was wearing a nice button down he must have gotten at a thrift store or something and his hair, still long from the 60s, has been brushed and probably had some kind of gel in it, Klaus was guessing. 

“Did you get your job at the commission back?” Klaus asked jokingly, with the air of a proud dad.

“no, I was just...going…out.” Diego said cautiously, his eyes shifting to look at the ground. 

He started getting up again, his focus turning to his own discomfort. 

Klaus recognized that desperate, uncomfortable look.

“Diego...” he started, not sure how he was going to broach this topic if his suspicions were correct. 

“Klaus, it’s late, you should go to bed, I’m just…going shopping.”

“Oh, I’ll come with then, I’ve really had a hankering for chocolate milk lately” 

Klaus scampered up, playing along that he really believed his brother’s obvious lie.

"I’ll pick you some up, but you should go back inside...if you’re okay.” Diego glanced back at him, still not able to put a finger on what was wrong with his brother. “No broken bones?” He asked raising an eyebrow, like he thought Klaus might not tell him if he did.

Klaus playfully patted himself down and then threw his hands up in the air. 

“Nope! All good here! Take me away from this place! Unless...you’re not going shopping.” He added, tilting his head inquisitively... his smiles faded, and he dropped the lightness in his voice. “New timeline, gotta explore right? I know you will never take my advice so, my advice is, go ahead, go find out, it will definitely do your heart wonders.”

Diego bulked a bit at the bitter sarcasm and scoffed. “I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, but I’m gonna go okay? Go get some rest or some coffee or something…”he called back dismissively   

Klaus’s shoulder slumped but he didn’t say anything. He just let his body slide back down to the ground, letting the tree support his back. “Yeah, what do I know about dead lovers and messed up timelines…” he sighed to him, closing his eyes, an instinctively reaching for Dave’s dog tags around his neck.

Diego sighed and willed himself to turn around. He didn’t want to but as the founder of team zero, it was his job to act like it.

He sat beside his brother again, under the tree and put a shaky hand on his shoulder. Klaus didn’t respond, but he didn’t shake him off either. 

“Hey look...you wanna tell me what’s going on? I feel like I’m missing something.” Diego said a bit clumsily.

Klaus shook his head. “It’s fine, Diego…you should go…”

“You knew that I was looking for her?” Diego asked, still slow and unsure.

Klaus nodded.  “Of course…. it’s what I would do…I mean, what I did….except…” He trailed off. He was waiting for Diego to cut him off or get upset that he was insinuating that they were alike in any way.

“Except what?” Diego encouraged.

“Well, I had a reason. You don’t…if you find her, then what? You’ll beat yourself up about it and if you don’t…you’ll be heartbroken all over again..” Klaus didn’t look at Diego as he spoke, but at the grass, still wet with dew. He kept thumbing the dog tags around his neck.

“Wait…the guy you told me about…you saw him again? When?” Diego asked, now genuinely curious and confused. He frowned, trying to remember everything Klaus had told him. He usually didn’t think twice about things his brother said. He was starting to realize that might be part of their problem.

“In Dallas…he was five years younger and had no idea who I was….”

Diego nodded as he listened, eyes out of focus, trying to process,  “fuck” was all he managed to say,  inhaling  sharply.

Klaus laughed. “yeah….fuck.”

“So…did you do what you needed to do? You said there was a reason?” Diego asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer, but he really didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah, and I just made it…so much worse, I mean, big surprise right?” He laughed bitterly, just on the edge of a sob.

Diego unsurely raised his arm to pat Klaus on the shoulder. Klaus flinched a little and Diego  immediately withdrew and looked at the ground, trying not to process the immediate guilt he was feeling.  

A few seconds later he felt a little nudge on his shoulder. Klaus had leaned against and already closed his eyes before Diego could say anything.

“You’re not anymore of a fuck up than the rest of us…” Diego said after a few minutes of silence. “I know I give you shit for it, but….” He trailed off, trying to find the right words to say what he meant.

“That’s nice Diego, but I know you don’t believe that…and that’s okay! I tried to do something right, I fucked up, and I have to deal with that…but you’re smarter than me, so you don’t have to.” Klaus replied, eyes still closed.

Diego laughed, causing Klaus to slip off his shoulder and push back in playful retaliation.

“Now I know you don’t believe that. You might be crazy, but everyone knows I’m the dumb one.” Diego was still laughing, but didn’t make eye contact.

Klaus turned to him and looked really serious, and lowered his voice to a raspy, kind of batman rip-off. “You know Diego, you’re not anymore of an idiot that’s the rest of us….I know I give you shit for it, but…” he looked away dramatically.

“shut up!” Diego protested, pushing him away, but he was laughing. “I don’t sound like that…”

“no…” Klaus said thoughtfully, settling on his back on the ground, not bothering to get back up. “But I thought you wanted to be Batman?” He said pointedly, opening one eye to look at Diego’s reaction and then scampering up, before his brother could get to him.

“You better run!” Diego called after him, but didn’t actually bother to get up.

Klaus, peaked out behind the tree they had been sitting by. “There better not be anything in your hands…” he warned, looking around to make sure Diego wasn’t going to throw anything at him before cautiously making it back to where he was sitting before.

They sat there for a few more minutes in silence. Diego wanted to ask more questions, but Klaus finally looked a little more like his normal self. So, he would ask them later.

“Do you want me to take you to the store so we can buy chocolate milk?” Diego asked, in a tone that couldn’t be described as anything besides “annoyed older brother” despite, Klaus technically being older now and never letting him forget it.

“Only if you’re buying.” Klaus joked, “but yeah!” He jumped up enthusiastically. Diego got up a little slower, but followed, in an over the top show of put-on reluctance “ okay, let’s go.” 

[schoolmascotbyday]

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? “Frederick.”

Surname? “Frederickson.”

Middle names? “Flamarion.”

Nicknames? “Fred, Freddie, Dumbass, Knuckle Head, Idiot, Mr. Fred, Lizard Guy, Fredzilla… Fredzilla totally counts.”

Date of birth? “I was born on August 15th of 1997.”

Age? “I am twenty three years young.”

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? “Six foot even.”

Weight? “140 or something. Don’t body shame me.”

Build? “I guess I’d be a mesomorph.”

Hair color? “It’s blond-ish.”

Hair style? “Medium length. Sometimes it is straight, sometimes it has luscious waves.”

Eye color? “Grue. (That means green-blue.)”

Eye shape? “They’re kind of squinty, whatever you call that.”

Glasses or contact lenses? “No sir!”

Distinguishing facial features? “I have a big nose.”

Which facial feature is most prominent? “My nose.”

Which bodily feature is most prominent? “My chest.”

Other distinguishing features? “My hair. If you see my hair, you know it’s me.”

Skin? “White. Disturbingly white. I should get more sun…”

Hands? “Big.”

Make up? “I don’t understand how people wear makeup everyday. It’s hard. It would take me hours to not look like a clown. I wore eye shadow for the pride parade, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

Scars? “Nothing too noticeable.”

Birthmarks? “Nada!”

Tattoos? “None, but I think one day I’ll get a big monster on my entire back .”

Physical handicaps? “I don’t have any.”

Type of clothes? “Worn out.”

How do you wear your clothes? “Too long.”

What are your feet like? “Also big. My socks are dirty. So are my shoes. There’s a hole in my favorite pair, and the bottom is coming off…”

Race / Ethnicity? “Caucasian.”

Mannerisms? “I am overexciteable and it shows.”

Are you in good health? “I keep forgetting to make a doctor’s appointment. Actually, I just don’t wanna do it by myself. But probably.”

Do you have any disabilities? “Fortunately no!”

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do you overuse? “I think I just shout too often.”

Do they you a catchphrase? “I say whoa-ho-ho a lot. Is that a catchphrase? Or should I have said that for my overused word and/or phrase?”

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “Optimistic!”

Are you introverted or extroverted? “Extroverted.”

Do you ever put on airs? “I turn the AC on a lot.”

What bad habits do you have? “Sometimes I chew with my mouth open and I stay up too late and I ramble and I don’t eat healthy foods and get obsessed with entertainment and I don’t blink enough when I’m playing video games and I choose being lazy over being productive and, oh, yeah, run-on sentences.”

What makes you laugh out loud? “A lot of things. I laugh all the time.”

How do you display affection? “Bear hugs and hair ruffles.”

Mental handicaps? “I don’t give myself time to be sad.”

How do you want to be seen by others? “Helpful, loving, loyal, genuine, fun!”

How do you see yourself? “Helpful, loving, loyal, genuine, fun!”

How are you seen by others? “I don’t worry about it too much.”

Strongest character trait? “I care so much.”

Weakest character trait? “I care too much.”

How competitive are you? “I can be kind of competitive, but I don’t trash talk or anything.”

Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “It depends on the situation, but I usually make snap judgements.”

How do you react to praise? “A lot of thank you!s and beaming.”

How do you react to criticism? “I don’t usually let it get to me, I try to be better.”

What is your greatest fear? “Losing another person I love.”

What are your biggest secrets? “Sometimes I say I know what I’m doing when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Shh.”

What is your philosophy of life? “Life is short, have fun.”

When was the last time you cried? “I don’t remember. A long time ago.”

What haunts you? “Losing Tadashi. Not being able to save him.”

What are your political views? “I’m probably a liberal.”

What will you stand up for? “Anyone that needs me to stand up for them.”

Who do you quote? “My friends. They’re so smart.”

Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Indoorsy.”

What is your sinful little habit? “Buying a lot of merch. A lot of merch.”

What sense do you most rely on? “Definitely not common. Hearing.”

How do you treat people better than you? “I try to learn from them!”

How do you treat people worse than you? “I try to teach them!”

What quality do you most value in a friend? “Genuineness.” 

What do you consider an overrated virtue? “Chastity.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I think I’d like to be smarter. Just a little bit, just enough to understand half of the things my friends talked about.”

What is your obsession? “Manga, comic books, video games.”

What are your pet peeves? “Being rushed, people being mean, being ignored.”

What are your idiosyncrasies? “I talk too fast.”

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “Small. It’s just me, my dad, my mom and Heathcliff — the butler.”

What is your perception of family? “They’re supposed to be loving and accepting.”

Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “No. I think that would’ve been nice, though.”

Describe your best friend. “I have five, and they’re the best friends in the whole world. Tadashi isn’t here anymore, but he’s still one of my best friends. They’re all smart and unique and I love being around them.”

Ideal best friend? “Anyone who can be themselves around me.”

Describe your other friends. “Most of them are online.”

Describe your acquaintances. “I don’t have acquaintances, just friends.”

Do you have any pets? “I have a bunch of fish in my saltwater aquarium!”

Who are your natural allies? “Hm, Haven.”

Who are your surprising allies? “The rest of our friends.”

PAST AND FUTURE

What were you like as a baby? As a child? “Loud, wild, energetic, friendly.”

Did you grow up rich or poor? “Rich.”

Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “I don’t want to say my parents neglected me…”

What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “I don’t even know of anything I’ve thought that was offensive.”

What is your greatest achievement? “My current grades.”

What was your first kiss like? “Quick and nervous.”

What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “I didn’t save Tadashi.”

What are your ambitions? “I want to write comics that people want to read.”

What advice would you give your younger self? “Enjoy being a kid while you can!”

What smells remind you of your childhood? “Freshly cut grass, pancakes, steak.”

What was your childhood ambition? “To be a superhero.”

What is your best childhood memory?

What is your worst childhood memory? “The birthday my dad told me they’d be home in time for, but missed. They didn’t come home for another week, and I’m pretty sure he forgot about it completely, because the handwriting on the card that ‘came in the mail’ looked an awful lot like Heathcliff’s.”

Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “A few.”

When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “Sometime last month.”

What past act are you most ashamed of? “Shame is not an emotion I know.”

What past act are you most proud of? “Beating Dark Souls (Demons Souls).”

Has anyone ever saved your life? “Probably.”

Strongest childhood memory? “The day I broke my arm falling out of a tree.”

LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight? “Why not?”

Are you in a relationship? “Nope.”

How do you behave in a relationship? “Like myself. I’m an affectionate guy.”

When did you last have sex? “It’s been about five months, probably.”

What sort of sex do you have? “All sorts.”

Have you ever been in love? “I fall in love all the time.”

Have you ever had your heart broken? “My heart broke when Tadashi… when I lost my friend.”

CONFLICT

How do you respond to a threat? “Just shrug and say ‘bring it’.”

Are you most likely to fight with your fists or your tongue? “I don’t like fighting, but I’ll do what a situation calls for.”

What is your kryptonite? “Funko Pops.”

If you could only save one thing from your burning house, what would it be? “My fish.”

How do you perceive strangers? “50/50. Could be friends, could be villains.”

What do you love to hate? “Cliffhangers and hard to beat games.”

What are your phobias? “Death.”

What is your choice of weapon? “Depends on the game I’m playing.”

What living person do you most despise? “I don’t despise anyone.”

Have you ever been bullied or teased? “I’ve been teased, but it doesn’t bother me much.”

Where do you go when you’re angry? “The kitchen to get a snack. The only time I get angry is when a game is being really frustrating.”

Who are your enemies and why? “I don’t have any, but maybe one day I will be a true crime fighter and I will.”

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is your current job? “Sign spinning.”

What do you think about your current job? “I love it. I don’t need the money, I just like bringing in more business to the local shops and showing off my skills!”

What are some of your past jobs? “I’ve never had to work.”

What are your hobbies? “Sign flipping, gaming, writing and drawing, reading comics, binging anime, practicing guitar, coming up with new costume ideas.”

Educational background? “I didn’t do so hot in high school, but I’m in college now.”

Intelligence level? “You could say I’m a selective learner.”

Do you have any specialist training? “I wish! That would be so cool!”

Do you have a natural talent for something? “I want to say my sign spinning is a natural talent — I kind of just picked it up one day and realized I was good at it. Also, super-hearing, headlights and flame throwing.”

Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “I’m not much of a sports guy.”

What is your socioeconomic status? “Ask someone who knows what that means.”

FAVORITES

What is your favorite animal? “Maybe lizards.”

Which animal do you dislike the most? “I don’t dislike any animals.”

What place would you most like to visit? “I’d like to go on a family vacation someday. I don’t really care where we go.”

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “The ending of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.”

What is your favorite song? “You’d laugh.”

Music, art, reading preferred? “Reading mixed with art.”

What is your favorite color? “Blue. No, orange. No, green! Yellow! I don’t know! There’s too many colors!”

What is your password? “FredzillaRulesTheWorld.”

Favorite food: “Changes too often to really say.”

What is your favorite work of art? “Death Note.”

Who is your favorite artist? “My dad. He counts, right?”

What is your favorite day of the week? “Sunday.”

POSSESSIONS

What is in your fridge? “A whole lot of ingredients I’ll never use and probably some I can’t pronounce.”

What is on your bedside table? “A lot of junk. I should clean that off...”

What is in your car? “Phone charger, aux chord, a half eaten bag of barbecue chips, stick of deodorant, loose change, hair ties.”

What is in your bin? “It’s empty. I have a butler.”

What is in your purse or wallet? “A group picture with my friends, money, a few different bank cards, a condom, more loose change.”

What is in your pockets? “My keys and my cell phone.”

What is your most treasured possession? “All of my pictures with my friends. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. You never know when you won’t be able to take another one...”

SPIRITUALITY

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? “I’m sure Tadashi is somewhere looking out for me right now.”

Do you believe in the afterlife? “Yes.”

What are your religious views? “Loosely Christian.”

What do you think heaven is? “A place where everyone is happy and free and there’s no pain. And you can play games all day.”

What do you think hell is? “Sad and lonely.”

Are you superstitious? “A little bit.”

What would you like to be reincarnated as? “A fire breathing dragon!”

How would you like to die? “In a way that matters. If I’m going to die, I’d like to save someone while I’m doing it.”

What is your spirit animal? “Probably iguanas or something.”

What is your zodiac sign? “Leo.”

VALUES

What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Torture.”

What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Pretty much how my life is now. I can do what I want, when I want --- for the most part.”

When did you last lie? “It’s been a long time. I don’t lie unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

What’s your view of lying? “It can be easily avoided. Just be honest.”

When did you last make a promise? “I can’t remember.”

Did you keep or break your last promise? “I’m sure I kept it, I don’t make promises unless I plan to do something about it.”

DAILY LIFE

What are your eating habits? “Questionable.”

Do you have any allergies? “I’m allergic to assholes!”

Describe your home. “It’s big. Real big. The yard is big and freshly cut. There’s not a blimp of imperfection until you get to my room, then it becomes a randomized mess.”

Are your minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “Hoarder.”

What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Turn my alarm off.”

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Relax. Wait for my dad to call.”

What do you do on a Friday night? “Stay up late gaming.”

What is your soft drink of choice? “Mountain Dew.”

What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “Just beer is fine.”

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “Oh, I love Halloween! I go all out! I’ll dress as another superhero this year, or maybe a villain to spice it up!”

Are you comfortable with technology? “I love technology.”

If you could save one person, who would it be? “Tadashi. I wish I could’ve saved Tadashi.”

If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Haven, she always knows what to do.”

What is your greatest extravagance? “All the merch in my room, or my tank.”

What is your greatest regret? “Not doing anything to help my friend.”

What is your perception of redemption? “Putting someone else before yourself. If you do that, if you selflessly risk your own life or needs or wants for another person, you’re obviously redeemed.”

What would you do if you won the lottery? “Donate it all to charity.”

What is your favorite fairytale? “Jack and the Beanstalk.”

What fairytale do you hate? “I don’t hate any fairytales. People put a lot of hard work into their stories and I respect that.”

Do you believe in happy endings? “I do.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Living every day how you want to live it.”

What would you ask a fortune teller? “I’d give my opportunity to someone else. I don’t need anything answered.”

If you could travel through time, where would you go? “Back to save Tadashi or die trying.”

What sport do you excel at? “Is flame throwing a sport?”

What sport do you suck at? “Soccer. I get confused and score for the other team. Every. single. time.”

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “All of them! Fire breath, x-ray vision, flying, rocket fists, gravity manipulation, invisibility, walking through walls, the ability to teleport through people’s phones so if they needed me I’d be right there... yeah, all of them!”

[saltysmoothie]

🌼, 🍄 - Serendipity. 🌻 , 🌿 - Veron. 🌸 - March

Oh boy this is gonna be a long one, strap right in

Serendipity

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

Serendipity has a pretty alright relationship with her family, not perfect but it’s functional and her mom has made it clear that she cares about her daughter’s mental health and general wellbeing, her dad not quite as much but he’s not the worst. She’s got a younger brother as well named Kayden, and he’s cool, for as much as he is a little dweeb sometimes. She also has Ayana of course, who is the one person she can talk on a personal level to when it comes to her job as Good Karma. For now... let’s just say Serendipity wants to keep her identity of Good Karma away from her family, but with Ayana it’s completely fine to talk about both the goods and the bads of that job.

Ayana and Serendipity met in kind of an odd way, while Serendipity was on somewhat of a mission to check out a pretty haunted and weird area, and Ayana just happened to be hanging around there because she was also interested in the demons hanging there. After awhile, they just talked more to one another, and became better friends over time! As for the time frame they’re together in, it is ever changing in terms of their story but I can honestly say they stay friends for quite awhile, they meet about a month after Serendipity becomes Good Karma as well.

As for if they’d be more than friends well... Serendipity definitely harbors some unsaid feelings for Ayana. She’s never really had a friend who cared about her well-being or just her as a person, so it takes her such a long time to come to terms that she likes Ayana more than just a friend. She’s not 100% dense, she definitely ponders if her feelings are at all romantic sometimes, but it just takes her a few months, maybe a year or so to think about it, yknow? But Ayana is definitely the kind of partner she needs, romantic or not. Both because they bond so well, but also because she tends to be able to help her get down to a good level if she’s angry or anxious, and the same is pretty much mutual with how Serendipity helps Ayana, though in some separate ways. Theyre a good duo.

🍄 What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?

OhHOHOHOHOH. This is such a good question because Serendipity loves food, she loves baking, and cooking as well. Baking is the one thing she thinks she’s really good at, even if she fails at like making cookies she doesn’t get down on herself, she’s really glad that she now knows better, there might’ve been something she missed and she’s gonna do better next time. Plus the process of putting ingredient together is pretty relaxing for her. Cooking is good too, less relaxing but hey you can do whatever with it. Put a shit ton of salt and pepper in that baby and it’s good(now that I think about it. She probably has awful taste skfgsjfgsj).

But in all honesty her favorite foods are penne pasta spaghetti and lemon poppyseed muffins. She loses her shit over those two specific foods.

Veron

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

GOD THIS ONE IS HARD SJFGDH. For starters it hasn’t been too hard for Veron to perceive how Lynnet trusts them, like especially before they left they felt really confident in themselves because they knew when she had a moment to check up on them, she would hear them out on something even if it was really small. That just made them feel all the more better about making a presence among their crew, something they kinda struggled with before they joined the crew itself.

With the party, they were originally only a little more trusting of Quill since they were both sailors but they weren’t sure how Setac and Dedan would feel about them, but as time went by and the same thing happened with their crew, where they were just accepted in this ragtag group, and also just seeing how they fared on caring about each other, it just kinda makes them kinda emotional and happy that the group is as supportive of them as they are. If there was anything else in the world that reaches a similar feeling for them that brings happiness for them, it’s definitely the sound of rain or the ocean, or being able to just talk to other people about their interests.

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

Oh interesting one.... Veron has a particular way of trying to show they care without words, and that’s appealing to the better interests of the person they are trying to demonstrate their level of care to. It can either be through being quiet while being with them, showing them things they enjoy to hopefully gather a connection with them on interests, or fighting alongside them and trying to make sure the other person is safe and sound throughout it all(if the person they cares about gets attacked they’ll try to rush over if they can, etc.). And even though they aren’t that great with touch, they make it clear that if they care about someone they don’t mind giving a hug if needed, and the other person wants it enough. But more often than not, they reach out with words, the idea of reaching out without words is still a rather new one, and while they think they’ve got a long ways to go in terms of developing care without words, I think they’re doing pretty good right now, trying the things they do.

March

🌸 What are some of their favourite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

Oh gosh!! March has a lot of interests, where do I even start. One of the most obvious ones is anime, she grew up on Sailor Moon and a lot of Magical Girl related media’s as she grew up, and now it’s just become a large part of her life now that she has so many plushies from said media’s and she’ll just ramble about those things on and on to people like August.

She also likes a good relaxing sim type game, Animal Crossing New Leaf or Stardew Valley or something akin to those she’s probably packed at least 1000 hours each into each, she LOVES those games/type of game to death.

Another thing she appreciates baking a lot as well, it’s a very common activity for her and August to get together to make something like ice cream, cookies, cake, or whatever since she grew up in a household that had a lot of bakers recipes passed into the family, and since then its been the one thing she can share with her friends that she is always glad to share.

Collecting cool and pretty looking rocks is one other she’s always loved, bring her to a mueseum and she practically loses her mind in the gift shop. Stim toys are also really exciting to collect as well.

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

ALLY’S 50 QUESTIONS WITH SPOTLIGHT 

THINGS YOU’RE NEVER ASKED

which song went to number 1 on your birthday? (find out here) “i turn to you by melanie c...whatever that means, sounds shit.” 

if you could turn any scent into a candle, what would it be? “oh, i know this one, the beach...but not just the ocean; the sand, the heat, sun cream mixed with ice cream, really fresh air. all of it. i love that smell more than anything.”

which element best suits you: fire, earth, water or air? “i think my personality is definitely fire but i’ve been connected to water my whole life, so one of those.”

what’s the worst grade you’ve ever got on a test? “a straight up fail. shoutout to my high school english teachers.”

what’s the best grade you’ve ever got on a test? “an A in geography and physics, would you believe?

how many countries have you travelled to? “i went to france a lot when i was younger, i’ve been to the states a few times, when i was in high school, me and my then boyfriend done some travelling in europe; we went to mainly greece, cyprus and italy. recently i moved to australia and last summer, with my now boyfriend, i went to hawaii for a surf competition, so yeah! next on the list is south africa.” 

who is your favourite disney character? “moana.”

what is one thing people believe that you don’t? “that there isn’t a creator to the universe. like, you don’t have to be religious to know that something caused it.” 

do you usually drink enough water in a day? “i do, actually!” 

what’s your middle name? “scarlett.” 

PARENTS

do you know both of your parents? “i do.”

are they together? “the last time i checked.” 

are you adopted? “nope.”

what’s your favourite memory with your parent(s)? “my dad used to take me swimming in the sea when i was super young, around five, and to be honest we’d go way too deep considering i was nowhere near as tall as i ended up being. mum would freak out and i don’t know, at the time it was the funniest thing ever.” 

what did your parent(s) study when they were at the academy? “my mum studied music and my dad studied modelling.” 

which project of your parent(s) is your favourite? “uh, i like august from folklore.” 

which parent is the strictest? “both. it depends on the situation.”

which parent do you look most like physically? “most say my dad just because my mum and haley are a lot closer, and more alike. i always thought i looked like my mum but i guess my dad if that’s what people say.” 

which parent do you behave the most like? “my dad, i suppose.” 

are you close? “no.”

THIS OR THAT

the titanic or the notebook? “so young leo or ryan gosling? the titanic.” 

dc or marvel? “marvel.” 

disney or pixar? “pixsney.” 

pink or green? “green.” 

summer or winter? “summer.”

spring or autumn? “autumn.” 

dogs or cats? “i don’t really have a preference.” 

rom-coms or horrors/thrillers? “horrors, i think.” 

nights in or nights out? “nights out.” 

early riser or night owl? “i’m both - struggles, but i prefer being an early riser. i like sunrises and getting out as it’s coming up.”

GETTING PERSONAL

what age did you have your first kiss? “something absolutely fucking ridiculous, at like 12.” 

have you lost your virginity? how old were you? “yes, on my 16th birthday...not cliche at all.” 

what’s your biggest regret? “i don’t have one, or i try not to.” 

which song most reflects your life so far? “that’s hard! either something you’d expect someone to relate to like cigarette daydreams or something incredibly one dimensional, like midnight memories by one direction.” 

what’s your biggest fear in life? “living in a small town, with a family carrier, four kids that love their ipads, a husband that falls asleep on the sofa before seven o’clock and living for the weekend.” 

do you want to get married? “it’s not something i really feel strongly about. what does it actually mean?” 

do you want children? “again, i don’t feel strongly about it.” 

what is a cause you feel strongly about? “the environment. have you watched seaspiracy on netflix? it’s funny you bring up children, because i feel like bringing children into the world while it’s in this state probably isn’t the best idea. plus, the population is pretty...big.”

what’s your sexuality? “heterosexual.” 

when in life did you feel the loneliest? “when i was about high school age, i guess? i don’t think that’s uncommon. you’re old enough to start clashing with the people you live with but not old enough to take yourself out of the situation if you need to.” 

10 TRUTHS

have you ever skinny-dipped? “yes! i would recommend. it’s refreshing.” 

ever had inappropriate thoughts about somebody you shouldn’t? “probably.” 

what’s the worst thing you’ve said behind somebody’s back? “i don’t think i could repeat it, honestly. it wasn’t nice, though, and i feel shit even thinking about it.” 

have you ever sent a sexual text? “that’s most of them!” 

is there anything you dislike for no apparent reason? “yeah, family vloggers trigger my fight or flight response.” 

what’s the most recent lie you’ve ever told? “i can’t actually remember.”

can you put your hand on your heart and say you’ve never complimented a project you didn’t really like? “no, i feel like giving out empty compliments is one of my biggest character flaws...sorry.” 

the best advice you’ve ever been given? “nobody thinks about you more than they think about themselves.”

a quote you try to live by? “you die in the end. and i know that’s really morbid but isn’t that comforting? things could go really wrong, but you’re given an out at the end. nobody’s stuck living with their choices forever. i think things ending eventually is comforting, to be honest. it also keeps me going and inspires me to make things exciting.” 

where do you want to be in ten years? “travelling the world, still.” 

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

IT HAPPENED AGAIN I FINISHED ROYAL ASSASSIN BEFORE EVEN MAKING A POST

-I will get into chronological order in a second but first, a rant: FITZ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DO YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA OH MY GOD FITZ WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING-

-okay more on that later

- Glad to see no one died between book one and two, everyone is back and sexier than before of course except for Regal who was already the sexiest bitch in Buck keep

- just kidding y’all know that is Burrich

- I love how Robin Hobb decided we had to know that Burrich Fucks, I appreciate that of her

-Fitz is, as always, a complete dumbass. I’m starting to think that this is not just a temporary situation anymore

-Kettricken is really incredible, I may need to jump on the Kettricken simp train (although I’m more of a Patience lady myself I gotta say)

- This isn’t really an update but I keep thinking abiut how Galend used to say “you shall not have any contact with the opposite sex” like he wasn’t the only straight person in BuckKeep (well the only cishet at least except maybe for Shrewd)

Allow me to elaborate: Fitz and Molly? Bi. Hands? Gay. Burrich? Bi and not over his breakup with Chivalry. Patience? Bi and dating Lacey (lesbian). Verity and Kettricken are both trans, there is no way you can convince me otherwise. August is gay and repressed, which is different from Regal who is gay and homophobic. The fool is gender queer. Chivalry was pan. Chade is gay. The two girl classmates of Fitz one who became leader of the skilled kidz and the other who dropped out are dating, they broke up bc Galend’s psychological abuse had messed them up terribly but now they’re back together. (Update now I know more names, selene and justin both raging homos, truly evil stupid wlw/mlm solidariety). Will is gay too.

- OH I DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE BURRICH AND THE FOOL INTERACT I THINK THEY’D GET GET ALONG;; Burrich is friends with most of the young folk in Buckkeep, he’s a mentor to all of them and idk how old the fool is but I know they didn’t have that and they’re lonely as shit. They’re both done with every single person in BuckKeep and they both have at least one braincell, which is apparently extremely rare around here

-I love Fitz’s constant theme of “no one in BuckKeep knew. I was so furtive and secretive. No one could ever guess what I was doing” when he’s visiting either Night Eyes or Molly because I know all the folk in BuckKeep are like “ah shit there he goes again going to see that fucking wolf”

- MOLLY AND FITZ ARE SERIOUSLY SO DRAMATIC HDHENDJDJHFHDHC they gave me my fav scene ever though, where Molly and Fitz are doing their Dramatic Breakup Speech outside of Burrich’s room, while the Fool and Burrich are inside listening w a glass on the door like “shit- shit he’s coming in get away get away- Hello Fitz!”

- drunk fool was chaotic energy at its finest

- Patience and Kettricken keep being the absolute best I swear if Verity doesn’t come back I am marrying his wife myself

- on that note VERITY SIR I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU HAD THE BRAINCELL,,, OH YES I’LL GO ALONE ON A MYTHICAL QUEST TO LOOK FOR FAIRIES SURELY MY EVIL BROTHER WON’T TRY ANYTHING WHILE I’M GONE ❤️

- ok everyone by now knows that I’m both a huge patience and burrich simp, but I will not believe for a second that they were in love, sorry Patience is in a happy relationship w Lacey and Burrich was always in love with Chivalry, I will not accept any other version of the story ❤️

- and now onto the sad part

- OKAY look I will tolerate any shit a character does, literally they could kill Fitz and I wouldn’t bat an eye but when Regal had the AUDACITY to order his men to hurt the Fool,,,, that was the irredeemable point of no return for me, Fuck regal all my homies hate regal

- I am growing extremely fond of the fool they’re the sweetest character so far I am honestly in love, also they’re smart thank god we needed someone with braincells near Fitz because that boy is a complete dumbass

- also the “Who did this to you.” scene after the fool got beaten up the first time,,,, I sense multishipping times nearing on the horizon

- when I tell you I cried my eyes out during Shrewd’s death,,,,,,,, not bc I care about the guy, pretty annoying as he was, but seeing the fool crying is not something I will ever recover from thanks

- everyone keeps saying that night eyes has the braincell out of him and Fitz but honestly!! That’s not true!! The wolf is a dumbass as well, it’s just that anyone put against Fitz would seem like a genius!!

- Fitz not realizing that Molly’s “the one I care most about” and Burrich’s “female friend who needs a hand” might,,, be related,,,,,,,,, lol

- idk if it’s actually like that but imagine how devastating it would be for Fitz to have his girlfriend stolen by his fucking DAD

or well father figure but still

- the way Fitz talks about Molly tho 💕💕

- The foreshadowing of Kettricken’s child actually being still born,,,,,,,,,,, I pretend I do not see

- The “let him go night eyes, he’s not yours” scene gave me chills tbh

- I’m manifesting some flashbacks of younger Chivalry, Verity, Patience and Burrich,,, I wanna see the dynamics,,,, don’t think I won��t write it myself if there aren’t any

- so yeah I have already started book three because I have no self control, every time Fitz skills out to Molly he gets a different picture of Burrich doing house work, if Fitz keeps this up he’ll be able to bless us all with the Hot Burrich Calendar we all deserve

Ending notes! I thought I would skip the liveship traders trilogy but everyone told me that it’s not a good idea so I’ll read everything in order :)

I am completely obsessed with these books please send help

Tagging some beautiful people @violetiris-ak @garnetrena @wolfofmars

[palettepainter]

(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019

Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.

Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say!  I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration​   - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that!  @cosmic-artzz​   - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!

[sope-and-shine]

Christmas Special: Day 24

-> Pairing: Jeongguk x Reader -> Family!AU // Fluff -> Word Count: 2.6k -> Summary: Jeongguk has only ever wanted the perfect job, perfect wife, and the perfect family. This Christmas, you’ve finally been able to give that to him. -> Warning(s): Mild language??? (I forget) // nothing to really be concerned about though

When Jeongguk was younger, he’d always had big dreams of becoming a man just like his Father. He wanted to be a good, strong man, that was kind and cared for others no matter what. He wanted to have a cool job, just like his Dad’s, and be able to take care of his own family. He wanted to have a beautiful wife, someone just as beautiful and as sweet as his Mother to have a family with. He wanted someone who would take care of him and his future children the same way his mother would take care of him.

And he found you.

In college, you both shared your 9 am literature class together for your first semester. You actually didn’t even sit next to or talk to each other for the first few weeks. You didn’t even notice Jeongguk for the first time until that one day in the middle of the class when he ran in late to the lecture, but when he was running down the steps as quickly as possible, he tripped halfway on the lip of a step and tumbled down the remaining stairs until he stopped right next to you, flat on his back. You remember staring at him with wide eyes wondering if he was even conscious until his eyes opened and the first words out of his mouth were, “Well, that definitely could have gone better.” 

Your professor was livid with his outburst, but didn’t nag the boy too hard considering the fall he just had. He only demanded that he take a seat in the next few seconds or he would be removed from the room. That’s how you ended up sitting next to the clumsy boy, sharing your notes out of pity when he realized that he’d missed so much of the class already and quietly asked to borrow yours. He would occasionally make comments on your notes and how easy they were to read - he even drew a few cute little characters that made you laugh when he gave the pages back at the end of class. He then insisted that he buy you a coffee in return for letting him borrow your notes, and after a few minutes of rallying back and forth - with him insisting he definitely should and you trying your best to explain that he shouldn’t trouble himself over a few notes - but in the end you do give in to his wishes.

And that began the wonderful years that you then spent together.

From that first class and that first coffee date, the both of you soon became inseparable. It wasn’t like you treated the coffee shop like a date - but after you did become official in your Sophomore year of college, Jeongguk began to insist that the coffee date after that terrible class definitely counted as your first date together - but at the time you and Jeongguk were just starting out as friends. But as classes continued, and parties came up, and just needing someone to keep you sane in those moments; Jeongguk was the man you were looking for. Study sessions, movie nights, and even the scattered mental health day when one or both of you just needed to step back and breath for a moment. Within weeks the two of you were now the best of friends, and it didn’t take long for something more to blossom in your relationship.

Flash forward three years, and you and Jeongguk have graduated from your perspective majors, you both have amazing jobs that you managed to snag relatively quickly, and you’re now renting an apartment for the both of you. Every morning you get to wake up in the arms of your boyfriend, you get to play with his fluffy hair and leave kisses all over his face until he wakes up, you get to watch his big, doe eyes open and his bunny smile shine bright first thing in the morning. It wasn’t like you were the only one who was winning in this situation, though. Jeongguk was happy to wake up to your smiling face and your small hands carding through his hair, he loved the feeling of your lips touching every inch of his face, he loved the feeling of the warmth of your body next to his, and even when you got out of bed he was blessed with the sight of your bare legs with his shirt covering the rest of you.

Yeah, he loved his mornings with you.

The movie nights that you had back in college were now every night, usually split between Disney, Marvel, anime, or shows the both of you had started to binge on. Take out an instant ramen were constants in your lives, and it was funny just how much the two of you consumed yet continued to not gain anything - Probably due to the both of you being young, but who was really keeping tabs on this? Everyday you spent together, whether they were bad good, whether you wee sick and tired of each other or not, whether you just wanted some damn space or not, you pushed through it all so you could go to bed together in each others arms.

And that’s why Jeongguk loved you so much.

Despite the fights you did have, you would never let him leave the house or fester in anger. Despite your own ill feelings, you would always grab his hand and hold it to make sure he didn’t go anywhere until the two of you talked everything out like adults. Not only that, but when he was sick, you’d always call into his work to inform them he would not be in for the day, then you’d call your boss let her know that you’ll be in just a little later so you could make him homemade soup, you’d get him a waste bin if needed, set up his medicines, and give him a quick kiss goodbye to his temple before leaving for work. 

But you didn’t stop there. 

No.

You’ll come home with more soup from the little shop down the street for him and a silly little card just to make him laugh a little. Sometimes - if you don’t have time to grab or make a card - you’ll take pictures of every dog that you see just so you can gush over them together when you get home. And he loved every minute of it. To see your face light up when you show him every dog that you encountered on your walk to and from work, to hear you talk about your day as if you didn’t tell him everyday, just to hear you talk to him in general! He would never in a million years have imagined that he could admit he was whipped for you.

But it was no surprise that he wanted his ring on your finger.

He told his parents immediately that he was going to propose to you, and he took you on a weekend trip to see your family just so he could ask your father in person to ask you to marry him. Both parties shed tears, and both parties were elated to be joining families. He only had to ask you, and he already had a pretty good idea on how to do so. 

The two of you loved to take walks together in the spring evening, and he figured that was the best opportunity for him to pop the question. All he needed was some help from a few of your friends. So he got the boys together, called your work friends to meet him at the park an hour before you would meet him there - you thought he had to meet with Seokjin and Yoongi - and tell them the plan and send them ahead of him with the flowers and flower petals before you would arrive. 

And boy did you arrive.

He wanted to do you right and make sure you would be happy with your engagement photos, so he asked you to wear something nice so he could take you out for a date night after your walk. You walked into the park looking for him wearing a simple white, a-line, long-sleeve dress with a red scarf wrapped around your neck, and a pair of brown ankle boots. He couldn’t tell if you were wearing makeup or not, but you looked stunning even from afar. He felt his dark jeans with a light blue button down, black shoes, and a dark red suit jacket was nothing compared to how beautiful you looked. He couldn’t even imagine you looking any more beautiful - boy was he in for a surprise - but he still had a mission to do.

“Well, you clean up nice.” You compliment him, taking his hand in yours when you get closer.

He shakes his head with a shy smile, “You look even better. Shall we?”

You nod and follow him down the familiar path, enjoying the scenery around you in the peaceful park. You chat together quietly until familiar face start to appear: Jimin is the first to come up to you, saying a quick hello and handing over a rose before he just walks away without a word. You continue on despite his strange actions, but he’s followed by your work friend Ara with a flower of her own. As you continue down the path, more and more of your friends arrive to hand over flowers - at this point you have a feeling you know what’s going on - but when you reach the gazebo by the lake that’s covered in flower petals, and Jeongguk finally takes a knee and pulls out a little black box, you’re rendered even more speechless than you’ve ever been before. You knew he wanted a future with you, and he’d spoken about marrying you before, but now it was real.

You were going to be Mrs. Jeon (Y/n).

You had your wedding that winter, choosing the most convenient time of the year to get together. It was a little hectic at first with such short notice, but the both of you were able to find a wedding planner to help you arrange everything. You found your venue in a month, chose your decorations by June, you had a dress before August was through, invitations had been sent, and Jeongguk sent the food and music lists to the respective brother he entrusted the biggest day of his life with. And when the day did come, and he saw you in your beautiful dress looking like the most beautiful angel he’d ever seen before being walked by your father, he lost whatever will he had left to not cry in front of everyone he knows. But he still had you, and you wiped his tears despite having tears of your own. You took his hand in yours, and you professed every ounce of love you had for each other.

Together.

But that still wasn’t enough. He needed more to show that you were the love of his life, he needed something bigger to prove all of his devotion to you, and being the beautiful, loving wife you were, gave him that opportunity.

“Gukkie...look at how precious he is…” You cry, looking down at your newborn son resting on your bare chest. You were having your first skin to skin contact with him after 36 grueling hours of labour, and his little body had you convinced it was all worth it. But there was no reason for you to grab your husbands attention; you already had it.

Jeongguk was just doing his best not to cry after having his son come back to your room for the three of you to be alone together. 8 months ago you had told him you were pregnant with his child, 7 months ago you told him he was having a little boy, 6 months ago you first began to show his son was in your tummy, 3 months ago you were helping him unpack boxes in your new apartment, 2 months ago you were having a great time with friends and family at your baby shower, 2 days ago you still had your little boy inside of you, and 6 hours ago you finally gave birth to your first baby. He remembers every step of the way, wrote it all down as it happened so he could remember it when he was old and grey. He wanted to share everything with his son…

And now he was right here in your arms.

“Do you want to hold him, Guk?” You ask, pulling the doe-eyed man out of his deer-in-the-headlights state in the chair next to you. You giggle, “Unbutton your shirt and try skin-to-skin with him.”

He nods, standing up so you wouldn’t have to move too much after all the stress you just put your body through. He unbuttons his shirt just enough for his son to slip through, then he helps you sit up just enough so he can move your son from your arms to his own, pulling the small human close to his chest and resting in the chair next to you again. He stares down at his son, feeling the emotions bubbling in his chest where the little boy rests. Everything about him is tiny, and he’s in so much shock that he was able to create the ultimate form of love with your help.

“He’s so small..” Jeongguk whispers, fighting back the tears so he won’t disturb the baby trying his best to go to sleep. He looks to you, seeing you now resting on your side, facing him with a tired yet content smile. You look radiant even now, tired and worn out from the days activities. He’s so overcome with love just looking at you. “You’re amazing, Jagi.”

“I know.” You tease. You reach your hand out to him and he gladly takes it in his own, squeezing gently. “We did it.”

He nods, “We did it together...”

“It looks like Minjun is all tuckered out.” You comment, adjusting yourself on the bed to be more comfortable as you watch him sleep on your husband’s chest.

Jeongguk rubs the top of you hand with his thumb, “You should join him. You’ve had a long few days, so you should get some sleep while he does.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. Truthfully, you have no doubts Jeongguk can watch your little boy, but you really just never want to stop looking at him. You don’t want to fall asleep and find him all grown up just like that.

“Get some rest, baby. It’s Christmas Eve, so Santa will be coming very soon to deliver presents.” He teases, knowing the boys will be stopping by after seeing their own families and friends to drop off yours and Minjun’s presents.

“Okay.” You reluctantly agree, knowing that you’ll want to be awake at the same time your beautiful baby boy would be as well. Christmas was tomorrow, and you wanted to play with your gift all day and for the rest of your life. You settle yourself in the hospital bed, taking one last look at your son and your husband before letting your eyes close like they’ve wanted to since you gave birth a few hours ago.

Jeongguk watches you settle, warmth in his chest - and not just from his son. After years of wanting and waiting, years of joy, sadness, and high expectations, finally finding the perfect woman to spend the rest of his life with; He now had everything he ever wanted.

Just in time for it to be the best Christmas present ever.

[lyssismagical]

i hope we make it to the other side

Whumptober Day Thirty-One. Embrace

Read on AO3

TW: Major Character Death 

It was a Bad Day.

Morgan knew her dad enough to understand what a Bad Day looked like the moment she saw him.

Dark circles under bloodshot eyes, slow uncoordinated movements, a blank expression.

“Hey, Dad,” she murmurs, making herself known. She gently takes the mug from his hands and settles it down on the counter. It’s a Bad Day because he’s chosen his mug that has World’s Best Dad written on it, the Dad crossed out and replaced with Boss.

Her Dad looks at her, pain flickering across his expression, but it’s gone just as fast as it appeared. “Hi, honey.”

“I’ll make you some coffee, go wait on the couch, yeah?” she says, already moving to the machine, but her dad catches her, pulling her into a hug.

She sinks into his chest, taking a deep breath. Bad Days are normally few and far between, but they’re always hard on her. She hates seeing her dad like that without knowing what caused it.

The Thing is a secret. Her parents know about it, Aunt May, Uncle Rhodey, Uncle Happy. Everybody knows about The Thing except for her.

“I love you, you know that?” he says, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“I know. I love you too,” she breathes, trying to get ahold of her overwhelming curiosity. She won’t ask because they won’t tell, she used to try, but all it did was cause more pain.

Her mom walks into the room, already dressed for her day out in the city for business. Her face falls though when she sees them.

She gently lifts Tony’s face who lets Morgan go, turning to Pepper with an expression a little past broken.

“Bad Day?” she asks, though she already knows. “Do you want me to stay home? I can cancel my meetings…”

“I can handle it,” Morgan speaks up. She wants to ask what caused this Bad Day, there had to have been a cause, right? But she didn’t know what the importance of August 10th would be. And she won’t ask. She can’t.

Her mom looks over at her, pride shining in her eyes as she smiles. “You sure, honey?”

Morgan nods certainly. She’s sixteen, she can take care of a Bad Day by now. She’s seen more Bad Days than she can count for as long as she can remember.

Eventually, her mom doesn’t have the choice but to head out, and she says she’ll be home late, wanting to stop by and visit Aunt May, Uncle Happy, and their kid.

Leaving Morgan and Tony in the cabin by themselves.

“You want that coffee now, Dad?” she asks, trying to smile happily up at him. She’s still shorter than him, but she’s got her hope on her mom’s tall genes. “And breakfast?”

He nods and offers a weary, half-smile in return, heading to the couch to sit down.

She makes him his coffee, the way he likes it best, along with some fruit, hoping he’ll stomach some food. Normally on Bad Days, he won’t eat at all, but she’s still got hope. She can’t let her mom down, after all.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, leaving the fruit on the coffee table and sipping from his old mug. It’s chipped and getting worse for wear, but he nearly had a heart attack the last time Pepper suggested they get rid of it.

The words tumble from her mouth before she can stop them. “Why is it a Bad Day?”

Her dad looks up at where she’s still standing, and she expects him to break down or to disappear before her very eyes. Instead, he just offers another one of his Bad Day smiles, and pats the spot on the couch next to him.

She sits down, worry filling her up. She already regrets ever asking the question, she doesn’t know if she wants to know the answer.

“It was supposed to be your brother’s twenty-fifth birthday today,” he says, wrapping his arm around Morgan’s shoulders. He says, crinkling his nose to hide his tears.

Morgan freezes, confusion stilling her thoughts. Brother? She didn’t know she had a brother, at all, let alone that she had a brother that… that something happened to.

“What?”

Tony smiles nostalgically, putting his coffee down, and scrubbing his hand over his face. “He was May’s nephew. She took him in when he was little after his parents died… I met him when he was fourteen. But… In every way except blood, he was my kid.”

She does the math quickly, putting years and numbers together with the kind of ease only a Stark could have. “The year of the Accords?”

“He was Spider-Man. I needed a strong player for my team and I found him. But he- he was more than just a kid in a onesie. He was compassionate and intelligent and a hero, a better hero than anybody I’d ever met. He was kind and so fucking selfless.”

“Did he… Did he Go Away?”

Her dad’s smile falls, eyes glazing as he gets lost in the memories. “Yeah… He disappeared with me. He… He cried and he begged me to save him and I couldn’t do anything but hold him until he turned to dust.”

She doesn’t know what to do, how to comfort him, so she puts her hand over his. “But you did save him. You saved everyone.”

Tony nods, closing his eyes.

“So what happened?”

“He stayed here with you and me and Pepper and Aunt May,” Tony continues. “And he was the greatest big brother to you, and then we got kidnapped.”

She flinches, grabbing Tony’s hand. She doesn’t remember that.

Tony’s hand is shaking in her hold. “They made me choose… They- they had a gun and we were all hurt and tired and starving, and they looked at me and they said-”

He cuts himself off with a pained sigh, a tear leaking from his closed eyes.

“Dad?” she says, fear running her blood cold.

“They made me choose,” he repeats, shaking his head. “You were so young and I couldn’t- I couldn’t let them take you, and I-”

It’s obvious how the story ends, she doesn’t want to hear it anymore. She wants a different story. She’s here and her brother isn’t. They made Tony choose.

“He was only seventeen, but you were eight, and I- I was holding you and you were crying.” Tony drops his head to rest on top of their intertwined fingers. “And I knew he would never forgive me if I picked him, and he- he asked me to pick you, to keep you safe, he- he- fuck, he just wanted you to be safe.”

She’s shaking her head, but Tony’s eyes are closed and he won’t stop telling the story she doesn’t want to hear anymore, doesn’t want to know.

“And they said they’d kill both of you if I didn’t pick and I- I panicked, and the next thing I knew, you were crying in my arms and Peter was gone, and we heard- we heard a gunshot and I- I-” He sniffles, tears steadily streaming down his face. “And that was it- I just- I lost him and I-”

She pulls her hand back, scared and confused, and she doesn’t want this knowledge anymore. “Dad, I- I don’t-”

He lifts his head, tears staining his flushed face, and hands shaking now that he no longer has something to hold onto.

“No, I’m sorry, kiddo, I shouldn’t have…” he says, still trying to apologize to her despite everything.  

The Thing is so much bigger than anything she could’ve imagined and she wishes it was just The Thing, not this grief that’s been settled onto her shoulders.

She had a brother who gave up his life for her.

She doesn’t know what to say to her father grieving a boy she doesn’t remember. She doesn’t know how to fix the Bad Day now that she knows The Thing.

Peter had been seventeen, and she’s only a year younger than that now, she wonders if Tony can see Peter’s face when he looks at her. If he thinks about What Could’ve Been instead of What Is. She knows Tony doesn’t like What Ifs, he likes constancy, but what if this is why?

“Do you regret it?” It’s the only thing that claws at her lungs like a caged animal desperate to escape.

Tony looks up startled and his eyes suddenly bore into her with an intensity he rarely ever has on Bad Days.

“I regret ever letting my kids get in that situation in the first place. I regret not saving both of you. I regret never telling Peter I loved him. But, honey, I don’t regret you.”

There’s no jealousy that tugs at her heart, there’s no anger, no guilt. There’s only grief. It leaves a crater in her heart and sends the world spinning off course.

Tony pulls her into a hug, gently wrapping her in his arms and resting his cheek atop her head, encasing him in warm love.

She hides away in his chest like she imagines she did when she was little and losing her older brother. And she holds on like he could protect her from the sorrow that’s washing over her.

It’s not okay, so they don’t bother saying it. They just hold on to each other like a lifeline.

* Her dream flashes past in glimpses of memory.

A man stood across from them, a maniacal glint in his eyes as he grinned at her. His dark eyes flickered between her and the boy sitting next to her.

A boy, who she knows is Peter. Strong and refused to cry, pushed himself between her and the man across from them. He turned back to look at her, offering almost an exact replica of her dad’s Bad Day Smile.

Her dad, panicked and shaking, grabbed her around the shoulder and pulled her into his chest, keeping her protected from the man. He already had a good grip on Peter, keeping her brother safe.

“You have to choose, Stark,” the man said. “I want you to feel the pain I felt that day in Sokovia all those years ago. I choose between my daughters that day. I only had the time to save one. And now, I want you to feel that pain. Pick which child you’d like to save or I’ll kill them both.”

“Please, Mister Stark,” Peter begged, turning on Tony. “Please, you have to- I promised to keep her safe and I don’t know what better way to do it than this.”

Her dad had been crying, keeping a hand wrapped around Peter’s upper arm as the stranger leaned back against the cell bars and clicked the safety off the gun. Peter had been so quick to jump selflessly to a decision, no fighting, no idea of self-preservation.

“I can’t lose you again!”

Peter had started to cry and their panic had sparked an echo of it in Morgan. “Please, Mister Stark.”

“Time’s up, Stark.”

The gun had turned on Morgan and Tony shouted, “Wait!”

“Time’s up,” the man repeated.

“Mister Stark, please-”

Tony was shaking and crying, and guilt and panic was flooding his expression. “Save her, please. Take him.”

The stranger had grinned and grabbed Peter by the arm, yanking him away from the Starks curled up on the floor of the cell. And there was some desperate part of him, like a child being taken from his parents, that reached for Tony even as he was pulled out of the cell.

“Peter!” Tony shouted, tremblingly stumbling forward. But the cell locks behind them with a click.

Peter disappeared around the corner and the last they saw of him was his crying face, desperately trying to make himself look strong.

Tony pulled Morgan into his arms, letting her cry into his shirt as he cried into her hair. And then,  

A gunshot-

Morgan gasps, shooting up. Heart pounding, tears blurring her vision, gunshot echoing in her ears.

She shoves the blankets off her legs, stomach twisting and turning as her lungs burned, unable to get a breath in.

Her door opens, light spilling in, along with a woman. May.

“I’m sorry,” she wheezes, tremblingly reaching for her aunt. This is when the guilt hits, washing over her and overpowering the crushing grief. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry.”

May’s at her side, an almost playful smile on her face. “You’re starting to sound just like Peter.”

Through her tears, she squints up at May. “How don’t you hate me? I- Peter, he’s-”

Pulling Morgan into her side, May says, “I knew Peter better than anyone, kiddo, and the moment I saw him holding you, I knew he’d do anything for you. I made my acceptances with him being a hero years before his sacrifice. I knew the kind of person my nephew was and I knew he’d go down selflessly.”

The teenager hides her face against May’s shoulder, struggling for breath, and she curls her fingers into May’s sleeve, hanging on as she tries to resurface.

“I think,” May continues quietly, “He wouldn’t have made it out of there alive whether the choice was you or him. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he’d been saved.”

“I just- I just-” She wants to apologize again, she wants to turn back time and save them from ever being kidnapped in the first place, she wants her brother back.

“Shh.” May’s rubbing soothing circles into her back, gently shushing her. “You have to breathe. Focus on that first.”

Morgan can’t stop thinking about Peter’s cries, practically begging to die, but she does as told, focusing on May’s voice and command.

Eventually, her breathing evens out and her tears more or less dry up.

“Is Dad okay?” she asks. Normally, he’d be the one in here to take care of her.

“He’s alright. I offered to check on you,” May says, gently running her fingers through Morgan’s hair. “It wouldn’t have been good for his Bad Day to try to take care of you as well.”

Morgan sucks in a shuddering breath, trying to think past the overwhelming grief. “Do you miss him?”

“Every day, honey,” May murmurs. “But I see him in you. You’re just like him, you know. A carbon copy, except maybe a little more bossy.”

She laughs half-heartedly. “Got that from Mom.”

May smiles. “I know you feel like somehow it was your fault, but I promise you, Peter loved you more than anyone. You were just a kid, there was nothing you could’ve done.”

“He was a kid too.”

Saddening a little bit and nostalgia shining in her eyes, May nods. “He was but he grew up really fast. Faster than he should’ve had to. I know it’s awful, he shouldn’t have been put in that kind of situation in the first place, but the world is full of bad people, and he’s selfless. Way too selfless for his own good.”

“He saved my life,” Morgan says, looking up at May. “He didn’t even think twice.”

“He loved you. He loves you. He just wanted to keep you safe. No matter what.”

* May, Tony, and Morgan stand in the graveyard, hand in hand.

The tombstone reads Peter Parker 2001-2023 with a spider emblem underneath it.

Peter watches over them. He knows, one day, in the very far future, he’ll get to see them again. But for now, he’ll watch over Morgan and continue to keep her safe from a distance.

May and Tony hug Morgan between them, and Peter smiles, knowing he made the right choice all those years ago.

He’ll wait for his own hug. For now, he’ll watch his family hug and grow without him.

[princessanneftw]

The Crown's Erin Doherty on playing Princess Anne – the voice, the hair and the style

By Caroline Leaper, Senior Fashion Editor for Stella Magazine.

As she joins acting royalty for the new series of the hit TV show, the actress discusses her transformation into a princess and just how long it takes to create THAT ’do

Erin Doherty is explaining how much fun it is to pretend to be very, very posh when you’re not. In the lead-up to playing Princess Anne in the new season of the hit Netflix drama The Crown, she says that she spent days practising her best royal voice in mundane scenarios, and offers to order a smoothie at the café we’ve met in ‘as Anne’, by way of demonstration.

‘Anne’s accent, and the whole family’s accent, is so weird,’ she laughs, snapping back into her own south London dialect. ‘It’s alien to me, I’ve never heard anyone else talk like that. My natural voice is the opposite. I watched YouTube videos and would practise when ordering a coffee, or speaking to people I didn’t know. The reactions were brilliant; I’m looking casual with this crazy posh voice coming out of me.’ Indeed, today she looks quite unroyal in her Breton top, khaki trousers and Birkenstocks.

Playing the Princess Royal is Erin’s first major television role. The 27-year-old from Crawley had a small part in the BBC adaptation of Les Misérables this year, and appeared in an episode of Call the Midwife back in 2017, but has otherwise stuck to the stage, graduating from Bristol Old Vic Theatre School to The Young Vic and The Old Vic, after being hailed a rising star of her generation. She is palpably excited about being in The Crown, and refreshingly honest about how she’s ‘winging it’ on one of the most anticipated TV shows of the year. She does, I should say now, deliver an incredibly convincing Anne. When casting director Nina Gold told her she had got the part, she celebrated by having a curry.

The Crown season three will span more than a decade, from 1964 to 1977, warranting an all-new cast to play the ageing royals. 
Olivia Colman picks up from Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth, Tobias Menzies follows Matt Smith’s Duke of Edinburgh and Helena Bonham Carter takes over from Vanessa Kirby as Princess Margaret. We’ve reached the years when the Queen’s children are coming of age; Erin’s Anne is in her late teens when we meet her, and is full of fantastically feisty opinions about being ‘launched’ as an adult in the Royal family.

We all know the plot, or so we think, as The Crown is based on real events. But the brilliance of the show is that we don’t know which bits of history creator Peter Morgan will zoom in on. Season three might cover the time when, in 1974, Ian Ball attempted to abduct Anne and hold her to ransom for £3 million. (‘Not bloody likely,’ she famously said to her kidnapper, and her father Prince Philip quipped, ‘She would have given him a hell of a time in captivity...’). We might get to see Erin in bridal attire, as Anne’s first wedding to Captain Mark Phillips took place in 1973.

Erin is tight-lipped about which events do and do not make the cut. ‘You know what happens to Anne,’ she says. ‘It’s not hard to guess. But Peter makes these people so fascinating because of the way he focuses on stories which might not have been the headlines everyone remembers.’

Anne’s story, Erin says, was largely unknown to her before she began researching ahead of her audition. ‘Princess Anne, honestly, didn’t mean anything to me,’ she explains. ‘Like a lot of people who grow up in Britain, I think, [the Royal family was] always just there. My family watched the Queen’s speech at Christmas, but other than that, you feel a bit removed from it. I had to research her and then I realised, wow, this woman is awesome. I fell in love with her.’

Anne’s reputation as the reluctant, truculent royal, who was more interested in riding horses than wearing ballgowns and playing the part, has come good of late. Where once the tabloid press dubbed her ‘rude’, ‘dowdy’ and ‘austere’, her dependability, cracking wit and commitment to public duty now see her celebrated as the most hard-working royal each year (she completed 180 days of engagements in 2018, 20 more than Prince Charles). And her never-wavering signature style suddenly chimes with the fashion industry’s new drive for more sustainable shopping. ‘At 69, Princess Anne’s country-chic look and penchant for rewearing couldn’t be more on trend,’ a fellow fashion editor of this newspaper wrote back in August.

Erin discovered pretty quickly that her new ‘family’ is full of eccentric, fun and 
complex characters. In one of her first scenes, she is sitting around a television with the Queen and Princess Margaret for tea, cigarettes and whisky, to watch Royal Family, the famously ill-fated 1969 BBC documentary (the reception to it was so bad that it was banished after airing, with the press suggesting director Richard Cawston’s fly-on-the-wall approach had ‘cheapened’ the monarchy). In real life, of course, that meant cosying up with her new co-stars, a cast of national treasures and Oscar-winners.

‘Scenes like that were surreal, but everyone was so normal on set,’ Erin says. ‘Seeing someone like Helena be so calm and cool has been a gift. What makes it weird is that I then go home to my houseshare and my housemates are like, “Your job is insane, did you see Olivia Colman today?” I obviously can’t tell her that they love her in Fleabag every day, that would be weird. And ultimately I’m trying to be like her daughter and build this relationship up with her, so the main goal for me is to forget about the fact that she is Olivia Colman. My dad is the worst for it, he took a flight and texted me, “I’ve just seen Olivia Colman doing the BA safety advert – tell her she’s great in it.”’

As well as the voice, the other thing to get right when becoming Anne was the hair. Today, Erin’s hair is soft, straight and centre-parted. She says it takes a lot of work to mould it into the Princess Royal’s trademark style each day.

‘The hair takes a solid hour and a half,’ she laughs. ‘Most of that time is spent backcombing and setting it with hairspray. Sometimes if it’s not poofy enough, we have to use a sponge doughnut underneath to hold it up more. I’m no wiser as to how she actually does hers. It must be pretty solid, as she doesn’t change it much.’

In Anne’s youth, Erin points out, the Princess typically only set half of her head, leaving some hair down and smooth at the back. For season four, though, which started filming this month, Erin is expecting to double her time in the hair chair, as Anne switches to her mainstay full halo. ‘It takes even more time if she’s wearing any sort of a hat,’ she groans. ‘I brace myself if it’s a hat day.’

Costume was crucial to Anne’s character. This season of The Crown will revisit the Princess’s fashion heyday in the ’60s and ’70s, when she wore sharp checked suiting and chic flares, and was photographed by Norman Parkinson in the era’s Pucci-esque saturated floral prints. Costume designer Amy Roberts recreates some of Anne’s most memorable outfits – many of which would still look relevant and stylish today.

‘She was so on-trend in the 1960s and ’70s. She figured out her style at that age and she has stuck with it ever since,’ says Erin. ‘I created a Pinterest board of her outfits and I saw this amazing thing of Anne throughout the years, reusing her gowns, sometimes rocking it again 20 years later. I love that about her. She must not get rid of anything.

‘My favourite outfit, though,’ she continues, ‘is the one in the first scene you’ll see from me. The idea is that her parents have just pulled her away from riding and she’s 
angry and stressy, so I’m wearing riding boots and stomping around.’

Erin understood that, of all the looks, this would likely be the one that the Princess Royal herself would favour too. ‘So often she’s in these amazing ballgowns, but you can tell that this would be her preference,’ she says. ‘It just feels more like her. Because of her sporting side, I don’t think she gets enough credit as a style icon. You meet some people who remember that she was fashionable, but a lot are like, nope, she’s just horses.’

Ah, the horses. For Olympic athlete and European eventing champion Anne, riding has been a passion since childhood. For Erin, it was a case of all the equestrian gear and no idea.

‘I’d never been horse riding before filming this, it was the first time I’d ever put on jodhpurs,’ she admits. ‘After my initial meeting with the casting team, my agent rang and was like, “Are you OK with horses?” The part was still in the balance, so I said, “Yeah, of course I am.” As soon as I put the phone down I thought 
I can’t believe I’ve just said that. It’s notorious that actors will say they can do something and learn how later, isn’t it? I was petrified. Luckily I had 
a bit of time, so it’s sorted now and I can ride.’

Horses may not have been on the agenda for Erin growing up, but football was. ‘I was pretty good – I was scouted to play for Chelsea,’ she says. ‘I really hated school, so I lived for the weekends; I’d play football on a Sunday morning, and then in the afternoon I would go to stage school. When I was about 14, the schedule was getting so intense that my dad said I needed to choose one. I still do my keepy-uppies in the garden. I’d love it if someone remade Bend It Like Beckham – I’d be totally prepared for that part.’

Erin is one of three children (she has an older sister and a younger brother), and her mother, a retired medical practice administrator, and father, who works in airline operations, split up when she was four and now, respectively, live in Guildford and Folkestone. She’s living in south-east London in a houseshare with strangers who have become friends, and who work in entirely different fields. She grew up, she says, happily hanging around in Croydon wearing a tracksuit. ‘That was our best town to go to with your friends.’

When The Crown was first released, the original cast found themselves famous around the world. Appetite for the show is especially high in the US where, as Erin points out, ‘they flip for the royals.

‘It exploded for the last cast didn’t it?’ she considers. ‘They’re all pretty high-profile now. It’s mental what could happen, but I’m really not prepared for it and I also don’t think it’s healthy to expect it. Imagine thinking your world is going to change then nothing happens, that would be heartbreaking. I don’t think people would really recognise me in the street anyway, I look quite different when I’m not made-up with the hair.’

Claire Foy and Vanessa Kirby, particularly, benefited from the magazine covers and fashion status that came with the territory, as designers from Erdem to 
Gucci vied to dress them on the red carpet.

‘I’ve never really done a red-carpet event,’ Erin says. ‘I was speaking to my publicist and I think we’re going to get a stylist to help. Honestly, these conversations are so alien to me. It’s actually more intimidating to do these things where you have to be yourself. I can get very anxious and I’m more of an introvert if I’m not acting, so the simpler these things are and the less I have to think about what I look like, the better.’

Her photo shoot with Stella is the first that she’s done, an experience that she enjoyed, she says, because she was able to treat it like playing a role.

In her own life, comfort takes priority. ‘My style is pretty androgynous,’ she says, ‘I’m all about not abiding by gender norms, not because I have any particular view of myself that way, but I like messing things around and trying different things. I’ve always been sporty and I’m drawn to clothes that are baggy. What I hope is that you’ll still be able to see me [even when I’m dressed up on the red carpet] and I’ll look back and think this whole experience was amazing and fun, not a surreal period of my life that I didn’t really live in.’

It will be surreal, probably. But Erin seems to have put in the work to ensure that her portrayal isn’t a caricature, and she has got under the skin of one of the nation’s famously-hardy senior royals. She did weeks of research, listened to the historians on set, nailed that voice and even investigated Anne’s Chinese zodiac sign, just in case it gave a crumb of insight to work with. ‘Anne’s a metal tiger,’ she confirms.

Talented, funny, hard-working and, crucially, not at all starstruck by the royals. It is, likely, exactly what the Princess Royal herself would want from the person deemed tough enough to play her.