#i like the contrast of stan and bill being the only ones who uses the sixer nickname

[nenoname]

my brain automatically whenever fics/comics have ford call stan "lee"

[ckret2]

I might tweak some details later (jewelry? take the ribbon off the bow?) but I've about got a Scalene design I like. The lipstick is really the centerpiece of the design. Now let's infodump! With more art!

🔺 Notice her lines are a a little curvy. It's not for artistic effect. She's got a Fictional Polygon Physical Disorder that makes her bendier than she should be—meaning, among other things, sides that curve and flex.

🔺 It's also the kind of condition with symptoms that are romanticized by people who don't grok that it's a debilitating medical condition. Sides that curve and flex? How exotic! This went to her head in the wrong ways.

🔺 Bill was born with the same condition. You know how squishy and blobby he was as a baby? Thaaat's genetic! He was a lot squishier than most babies! And, consequently, more adorable.

🔺Scalene dreamed of being a famous super model. Was actually a teen beauty queen at mid-tier beauty pageants. She thinks it's always somebody else's fault she wasn't more successful.

🔺 She took Bill to his first baby beauty pageant the day he was born. He did, in fact, have a Best Baby Ever award presented to him by the mayor, but to be fair he was only competing against like 6 other babies and who's going to withhold a trophy from a newborn on his birthday? Anyway the 6-12 month group and 12-24 month groups also each had a Best Baby Ever award.

🔺 This was an absolutely bonkers thing for Scalene to do.

🔺 What's that small scrunkly thing doing at a pageant, he can't even see color yet.

🔺 Their fictional squishy medical condition doesn't just accidentally make shapes cute. It's the kind of condition that affects just about all parts of the body: sides won't stay straight, poor muscle tone resulting in instability & weakness, poor motor coordination & clumsiness, back aches & pains (well, triangles don't have "backs." side aches?), easily dislocated joints, and increasingly skewed sides with age. Just about everyone in Scalene's family is born equilateral and ends up extremely scalene after young adulthood. The rest of her family have normal relationships with their condition, she's the only one who's weird about it

🔺 She was very rough on her body in pursuit of pageantry success, but her physical symptoms & associated chronic pain got a lot worse due to having a kid; she had to retire from pageantry for good. She doesn't blame Bill for this at all. Out loud, to his face. (If she hadn't been so rough on herself in pageants, having a kid probably wouldn't have impacted her health this much. She doesn't consider this.)

🔺 She's weirdly intent on seeing Bill become the success she wasn't. He's her little golden child, he deserves to be seen as the greatest! He'll show them how great he is for mommy, won't he? He won't let mommy down, will he? When he's very young, she takes him to child pageants—he'll appreciate the lessons they taught him when he's older—and this lasts until he finds out he can get out of it by pyrokinetically setting the stage on fire.

🔺 She jokes ("jokes") that she didn't realize that when she was having a kid, she was firing herself from the pageant circuit so she could hire & train her own replacement. These jokes had no long-term impact on Bill at all!!!

(Compare/contrast: how we're told Stan's "You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you, next thing you know you gotta raise a kid, your life falls apart" is repeating something he heard his dad say.)

🔺 Did you know that squeaky baby shoes are sometimes medical devices? Squeakers help children with poor muscle tone and delayed motor skills learn how to walk correctly: it makes them want to walk on their heels instead of their toes so they can hear the squeak. Did you know sometimes oversized squeaky baby shoes are worn by young kids who need ankle braces? Did you know that kids with poor motor coordination can take a longer time to learn complicated motor skills like tying shoelaces rather than using shoes with velcro straps? It sure is interesting that baby Bill's most defining visual feature is oversized squeaky sneakers with velcro straps and that he kept wearing velcro shoes until he was 16!

🔺 As a baby, Bill's angles were technically supposed to be equilateral,* but thanks to his inherited condition, his angles were so loose his top corner practically formed a right angle. Not good: the closer a triangle creeps to being obtuse, the more likely he'll have muscle strain and medical issues from his organs being squished out of place by his own exoskeleton.

(*supposed to be equilateral: but after receiving treatment, they discovered his angles were still 60º, 60º, and 60.1º, which is mathematically impossible for a triangle... on a euclidean plane. But on a non-euclidean 3D plane, such as in spherical geometry, a triangle's angles can add up to more than 180º... and it's this slight 3D flex to Bill's body that lets him see up into the third dimension.)

🔺 For his first few years of life he actually had a hypotenuse, until physical therapy and side braces helped him improve his muscle tone. Sometimes he still reflexively refers to his base as his hypotenuse. It's fine, sweetie, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, mommy had a hypotenuse too. Don't tell anyone.

🔺 Scalene took baby Billy to a lot of doctors as a kid, just like how she was taken to a lot of doctors! Doctor for his side braces, doctor for his physical therapy, doctor for his shoes... doctor for his eye when he started talking about seeing white glitter at the edge of his vision. Scalene didn't have that symptom, but the eye doc said their condition does occasionally come with visual problems—blurred vision, lazy eye, visual field defects... It sounds like Bill's main field of vision is unobstructed, but if the visual snow he's getting in his peripheral vision is distracting him and confusing his little toddler mind into thinking it's something real, they can give him a medication that'll narrow his field of view. From the sound of it, he's not seeing anything important at the edge of his vision, anyway.

And she only wants what's best for her golden child.

🔺 Scalene's "bow" is actually a medical device: sort of like a medical corset, it helps tug and press her anatomy into place to reduce pain. Bill started wearing one preventatively—if he can keep everything in place when he's young, it'll take longer for his angles to skew when he's older. Like wearing a retainer when you get your braces out.

🔺 He has a cane for the same reason—he doesn't need it NOW when he's young, but he might as well keep it on hand, by age 35 he'll probably want to stand more often than float and when he's standing he'll probably want the extra support! Even if he doesn't need it by 35, he will eventually!!

🔺 Bill doesn't medically need a bow tie in the third dimension either; but he adapted it to help tie his 3D exoskeleton on.

🔺 A trillion years later, Bill suspects that his mutation to see the third dimension came, at least in part, from his mom's medical condition. Except, she didn't have that vision. Nobody else with the condition on her side of the family had that vision. It's not a known symptom of the condition. His dad had stuff going on with his eye too, did he get it from his dad's side? A mix of both? Just a standalone random mutation? He doesn't know; and with the rest of his species dead, there's no way for him to find out.

But back to Scalene!

🔺 She's not quite red, she's rose gold. However she doesn't like it. She thinks it's a sort of pinkish brown and very dull. She uses makeup to make herself look redder. Note how bright red her sides are: in a species where only your edges are visible, body paint is the most common form of makeup+fashion. She's pleased her baby came out gold-gold, it's much cuter. Bill knows she's rose gold, but he only saw her with her makeup off when she was tired or sick; he remembers her painted red.

🔺 She adores her Billy; but she somewhat sees him as an extension of her will. She thinks he's just perfect and will tell anyone who asks; but she also demands he be perfect and is furious when he isn't. She'll protect him from ANY perceived external threat; but she'll tough love him into being the kind of success she thinks he should be. He learns early that when he screws up, he can often redirect his mother's anger by pointing his finger and saying it's someone else's fault, and she'll bring the wrath of heaven down on them. Woe to the teacher who gives Bill an F on a test.

🔺 I'm on a quest to write Bill as a foil to the entire cast of Gravity Falls, and that extends to writing his family as a foil to the entire cast's families. Scalene's a blend of Pacifica's mom and Caryn: beautiful, proud of her beauty, afraid of losing her youth, self-aggrandizing, quick to lie about her & her family's (false/exaggerated) accomplishments—and very aware of the fact that you can say anything about woo-woo mystical matters and nobody can prove you wrong.

🔺 So she takes it great when they figure out Bill is, like, legit psychic. And by "takes it great" I mean "starts a cult."

There's what I've got on Scalene. Fortunately, I got to keep all my pre-TBOB headcanons about Bill's mom, I only had to change her shape & color. I already had medical trauma baked right into the family!

(Preemptive disclaimer before I get any "but she doesn't look 2D" comments: we all understand that the baby Bill picture we see in the book is a psychically-generated 3D approximation of Bill's 2D Euclidean form, right? And that drawing a 3D baby Bill design alongside rigidly 2D parent designs would make it look like even in the second dimension Bill already had a 3D body, right? So, if we're drawing a 3D baby Bill and want to convey that they looked similar to him, we have to draw his parents in a similar art style, right? Okay, great.)

[gay-dorito-dust]

Could you do a part 2 to the ford and Stan fic where they were childhood best friends? I loved that one so much and I need more🥰

Threats and not a happy ending. Probs not what you was expecting for a continuation.

Part 1 is here

Taglist: @bigbeebeans @doggodnoodles12 @awitchersbard @leo242564 @emtynessinmyworld

Things in gravity falls were well..weird and you weren’t talking about the townsfolk who were under the impression that you and Ford had came as a couple. Sure Ford was handsome and beautiful man but you wouldn’t go as far as to indulge in their assumptions out of respect for him as your friend.

Ford on the other hand had cheeks like ripe tomatoes as he has to remind himself to stop being so obvious with his feelings for you, all in fear that you’d soon start watching him closely for signs of romantic pining. He couldn’t help it and knew for a while that Stan also harboured similar feelings about you, given how physically affectionate he was with you and keeping you tucked into his side tightly; which was more then enough for Ford to assume that you’d favour Stanley over him.

While he maybe the more put together of the two, the one with a future ahead of him, that doesn’t mean anything when it comes to matters regarding the heart. You’d either be rich and depressed, or poor but rich in happiness, you can’t be both. So Ford decided to value to have you however he could.

Everything was fine to being with, searching the words for anomalies and jotting them down, however your relationship with Ford becomes fractured and splinters into pieces when Bill Cipher came into view. You told him that day in the cave that the paintings on the wall were warnings, cautioning you both to avoid this triangular being at all costs but Ford didn’t listen to you and summoned him regardless. Your heart broke because this was the first time Ford didn’t listen to your council, blatantly ignored it as though your words meant little to now now, which was a stark contrast to the boy who use to hang on to every word you spoke.

During this rough patch as Ford was growing closer to Bill. You on the other hand were becoming distant and reaching out to Stanley, telling him everything that has been happening since you moved to Gravity Falls in a series of letters and phone calls. You only stopped reaching out when Bill -possessing Ford- held a knife to your throat and warned you to reach out to Stanley again and see how Ford would like it upon seeing that he had gone mad from isolation, and killed his own childhood sweetheart in cold blood as a result.

You didn’t think you’d ever hear such things come out of the mouth of your beloved friend but it terrified you and ever since you stopped reaching out to Stanley, he grew worried that something had happened to you. So he made sure to come to Gravity Falls as fast as he could for you, not Stanford.

‘Y/n sweetie are you alright!’ Stanley exclaimed as he saw your frightened face and immediately opened up his arms to you to burry yourself in. ‘Hey it’s okay, just say the word and I’ll get you out of here okay sweetheart?’ He whispered again your head as you clung to his jacket tightly.

‘I’m scared.’ You told him and it broke his heart to hear you say those words as he promised to keep you safe. Stan felt like he was to blame as usual, but couldn’t help but feel anger towards Ford for making you feel unsafe and scared. So when Ford came out of the shack to find you in his brother’s arms, Stanley tightened his hold on you and glared at his brother, who reciprocated the glare. Ford knew that things haven’t been…the best as of late between the two of you ever since the cave and he felt guilty over that, but seeing you in Stan’s arms only strengthened his fear that due to his obsession with the supernatural, it has ultimately pushed you into seeking comfort from someone else. His own brother to be exact.

Ford hated it more so than anything because while he was smart, he severely lacked a social life that Stanley excelled at beyond him, he could easily comfort you without getting awkward about it unlike him, who didn’t even stop to think how his obsession was affecting you; not even once and yet he claimed to harbour romantic feelings for you, what a joke because how can he love you when he failed at even the most simplest of mundane things.

‘Y/n I-‘ he tried to take a step towards you but you were quick to burrow your head further into Stanley’s shoulder.

‘I think you’ve done enough don’t you Stanford.’ Stanley replied, ‘you’ve gone and scared them with your obsession.’

Ford pales. You? Scared of him? Oh gods what has he done. ‘ I didn’t mean to.’ He trails off, not knowing how to fully explain himself.

Stanley scoffed. ‘I trusted you to keep them safe, happy and healthy but here they are in my arms scared as anything! What did you do!’

‘I don’t-‘

‘Not a good enough excuse Stanford.’ Stan snapped as he positioned you behind him, putting his jacket over you when he noticed that you came running to him in less than weather appropriate clothes, uncaring that he got cold in the process as he kissed your forehead like he did when you were teenagers and he needed to reassure you. ‘You’ll be okay, just stay as far away from here as you can.’ He whispered before looking at his brother.

‘Just please come and help me.’ Ford cried out to his brother and you. ‘I don’t have time.’ He then looks down at his bloodied knuckles and you couldn’t help but think of the other heinous things Bill had done to Ford, but you were too scared to look him in the eyes without seeing bill threatening you.

‘Fine but keep them out of your shit.’ Stanley said as he gestured towards your frightened form and Ford agreed as you grasped Stanley’s arm.

‘Don’t.’ You whispered. ‘Stanley don’t you dare go in there please I’m begging you.’ Your cries broke Stanley’s heart as he brought you into his arms again to calm you.

‘I’ll be okay sweetpea, I’ll come back and we can leave this town and get as far away as you want.’ He promises you but deep down you knew this wasn’t going to be true and soon enough you were right, Ford was pushed into the portal and Stanley went back on his word to rebuild the portal to get him back, all the while you decided that your time in gravity falls had come to a close and left within the night.

[boy-in-red-dress]

HEAR ME OUT, so I made a list of Ford and Bill's character traits and how they compliment each other. Ford and Bill's relationship is a rather interesting and twisted dynamic which is one of the reasons why I like them a lot. So let's start with my interpretation of the two characters...

Stanford Pines

He a deeply intricate character, shaped by a life that have left him both brilliant and broken. Born as one of two twins, Ford’s life has been a constant struggle with self-worth and identity. His intelligence and curiosity set him apart from others, but they also isolated him, creating a sense of loneliness. This isolation was only deepened by his complex relationship with his twin brother, Stanley. Ford’s need to prove himself became a driving force in his life. Yet, it was never simply about proving his worth; it was about escaping the deep-seated feelings of jealousy, shame, and guilt that had haunted him since childhood.

Ford's brilliance, however, is matched by his flaws. His obsession with knowledge and understanding the unknown led him down dangerous paths, often pushing away those who cared for him. The rift with his brother, born out of both love and rivalry, is a central part of his character. Which is why (if you've read some of my work on ao3) I put the fact Ford thinks about Stan often.

Despite his vast intellect, Ford’s emotional intelligence often lags behind, making him susceptible to manipulation and leading him to make decisions that are sometimes cold and calculating. He is a man who is willing to risk everything—even his own humanity—for the sake of discovery and the pursuit of what he believes is right and what could do good for the world. This single-minded determination, while admirable, also reveals his vulnerability. His self-imposed isolation and his relentless drive to prove his worth have left him with a fragile sense of self that is easily shattered when confronted with his own limitations. Speaking of his limitations, that's where Bill comes in. To make Ford go beyond the limits of his human capabilities.

Bill Cipher

He's a being of pure chaos and malevolence, contrasts Ford's character in almost every conceivable way. Where Ford is driven by a desire for knowledge and understanding, Bill is driven by a desire for power and control. Bill’s complexity lies in his unpredictability and his capacity for manipulation. He is a master of deception, able to twist the desires and fears of others to suit his own ends. Unlike Ford, who is bound by his human emotions and flaws, Bill is unrestrained, reveling in the chaos he creates. He lacks empathy, seeing others only as tools to be used or obstacles to be destroyed. His lack of morality and his enjoyment of others' suffering make him a truly terrifying entity to come across.

BUT. They have similarities, too. Stay with me.

1. Intellectual Curiosity and Ambition

Both Ford and Bill possess an insatiable curiosity and a relentless drive to uncover the secrets of the universe. For Ford, this curiosity is rooted in a genuine desire to understand the unknown, to push the boundaries of human knowledge, and to make his mark on the world. His intellect is one of his defining traits, and it’s what led him to explore other dimensions and study the mysteries of Gravity Falls.

Similarly, Bill is driven by a desire to know and control everything. His curiosity, however, is twisted by his malevolent nature; it’s less about understanding and more about exploiting knowledge for his own gain. Bill’s intellectual prowess is evident in how he manipulates others, devises complex plans (or impulsive plans), and navigates the multiverse with ease. His fascination with the workings of the universe mirrors Ford’s own, but where Ford seeks to understand, Bill seeks to dominate and corrupt.

2. Rejection of Limitations

Both characters reject the limitations imposed on them by their respective worlds. Ford’s entire life has been a struggle against the boundaries set by society, by his family, and even by his own humanity. His six-fingered hands marked him as different from a young age, and this difference fueled his determination to transcend the ordinary. Ford’s rejection of these limitations led him to create the portal, opening a gateway to other dimensions, and ultimately, to his fateful encounter with Bill.

Bill, too, rejects any form of limitation. As a being from the Nightmare Realm, Bill refuses to be confined by the rules of any single dimension. His very nature is one of rebellion against order and constraint. He sees limitations as challenges to be overcome, often through manipulation and force. This shared disdain for boundaries creates a unique parallel between the two: Ford, the man who defied his world to expand his knowledge, and Bill, the demon who seeks to break the rules of reality itself.

3. A Sense of Superiority

Ford and Bill both harbor a sense of superiority, though it manifests differently in each. Ford’s superiority is intellectual; he knows he is smarter than most people around him, and this often leads him to act alone, believing that only he can solve the problems he encounters. This mindset can make him seem arrogant or dismissive, particularly when dealing with those who don’t share his level of understanding.

Bill’s sense of superiority, on the other hand, is rooted in his power and knowledge. He views himself as above all others, not just because of his intelligence, but because of his status as an interdimensional being. Bill sees humans as insignificant creatures to be toyed with, and he revels in the chaos he can create among them. His superiority complex is part of what makes him so dangerous; he genuinely believes that no one can match him, which drives his desire to control and manipulate.

4. Isolation and Loneliness

Both Ford and Bill are, in their own ways, deeply isolated figures. Ford’s intellectual pursuits and his strained relationship with his brother have left him lonely, often feeling like he is the only one who can understand or solve the mysteries he uncovers. This isolation is both self-imposed and a consequence of his choices; Ford often distances himself from others to protect them or to keep them from slowing him down.

Bill, despite his power, is also a fundamentally lonely being. His existence as a demon is one of isolation; he is a creature of chaos in a universe that generally strives for order. His interactions with others are almost entirely manipulative, and he lacks genuine connections. This loneliness could be a driving force behind his desire to dominate and destroy—if he cannot be understood or accepted, then he will make the world bend to his will instead.

5. Obsession with Control

Control is another trait that both Ford and Bill share, though their methods and motivations differ. Ford’s obsession with control stems from his fear of the unknown and his need to protect those he cares about. After his experiences with Bill, this need becomes even more pronounced, as Ford understands the dangers that lurk beyond the veil of reality. His attempts to control situations, however, often lead to unintended consequences, and his desire to keep everything under control can sometimes cause more harm than good.

Bill’s obsession with control is far more malevolent. He doesn’t just want control—he wants total domination. Bill thrives on bending others to his will, on twisting reality to suit his desires. His manipulation of Ford is a key example of this; by gaining control over Ford, Bill was able to bring chaos to the world in ways that would have been impossible otherwise. For Bill, control is both a means to an end and the ultimate goal itself.

Conclusion: A Complex Relationship

The similarities between Ford and Bill make their relationship all the more complex and tragic. Ford’s intellectual curiosity, his desire to break free from limitations, his sense of superiority, and his isolation all made him an ideal target for Bill’s manipulation. At the same time, these shared traits create a twisted mirror image between the two—Bill literally represents the dark potential of Ford’s own qualities, turned towards destruction rather than discovery. That is if you look at it that way.

Together, they form a complicated pair: Ford, the man who seeks to protect and understand, and Bill, the demon who seeks to control and destroy. Their similarities make them more than just adversaries; they are reflections of each other’s strengths and flaws, locked in a struggle that is as much about their own identities as it is about the fate of the world. This dynamic is what makes their interactions so compelling and their conflict so deeply resonant, as each tries to outmaneuver the other while grappling with the very qualities that make them who they are.

I want to lick these senior citizens— WHAT WHO SAID TJAT

[a-writing-otter]

WIP Wednesday

“I can’t believe you fucked that old man.”

Bill’s head snaps up so quickly from where it was inside of the air duct that he smacks it on the metal internals. When he reappears cursing and rubbing at his head, there’s dust bunnies in his hair and clinging to his eyelashes.

“You can’t believe I what?”

“You fucked that old man,” Red repeats, feet up on the counter as she lazily reads something called “Lumberjack Layabouts Weekly.”

“I—“ And Bill lets out a grunt as he comes down from the ladder to slam his hands on the counter and lean into her space. The action does little to phase her other than make her look up.

“Neither of those things are right!”

Red takes a second to turn the page of her magazine, but doesn’t look away from Bill.

“That’s not what I heard.”

Bill’s eyes roll back into his skull for a second. He thinks of what he was told to do both by the therapium and Question Mark’s fiancée: deep breaths in and deep breaths out, count to ten, don’t visualize throttling them no matter how fucking annoying these fleshbags are.

“First of all, I’m older than him,” he begins, like that’s the important part.

“You don’t look it.”

“That’s because I take good care of myself.” Which is only partially true.

When the Axolotl and the entire therapism decided Bill’s methods of rehabilitation weren’t working, they’d sent him here. To hell.

…to earth.

Stripped of his powers, they’d shoved him into a meat suit that was an “appropriate approximation of his natural form” (Bill resents that statement entirely, but the appearance has grow on him). The dark skin and golden eyes are quite a contrast coupled with the golden hair offset by strays strands of grey or white hair. Melody has helped him figure out how to wash and maintain it, which is far more maintenance than he was expecting after watching Ford for years barely do anything more than occasionally wash it and wake up. Bill’s currently picking dust bunnies out of an individual lock, throwing them into the trashcan by the counter (like hell is he sweeping up in this damned place more than he has to).

He has it on good authority that this is a desirable fleshbag form, both from the open way that people compliment him and the way people stared. …he’s getting used to the staring and has stopped threatening to flay people alive who let their eyes linger too long.

Question Mark calls it progress; Bill calls it not wanting to see that haunted, barely contained disappointment on Melody’s face again. She is simultaneously the kindest and cruelest person he’s met on this plane. In spite of literally everyone’s reservations about Bill being on the same plane as the rest of these humans, she’d been willing to hear him out, offer him accommodations here at the Mystery Shack, and even provide a job if he could behave.

She also detailed to him with a sunshiney smile and no insignificant amount of knife waving that if Bill started anything, anything looking like world domination under her roof, not even the Axolotl would be able to save him.

If nothing else, she’s done more than a little to earn his respect and compliance than anyone else in this entire reality.

So, he’d gotten used to people staring and it doesn’t bother him.

At least, until one particular person started staring.

“Second of all, I didn’t—“ And he looks around, makes sure no hide or hair of thirteen year-old menace can be seen before he continues, “—fuck Sixer.”

Red closes the magazine entirely and shifts to take her feet off the counter and lean on it with her arms folded—this is what she’d wanted to hear.

“I heard Stan caught you two in the bathroom.”

Bill clears his throat and starts back up the ladder to avoid having to look at Red even as he feels something warm in his face.

“Stan doesn’t know what he saw.”

Red lets out a raucous laugh that makes Bill wince and wrinkle his nose as he sticks his head back in the vent to continue clearing it out.

“I heard that you two also got into a fistfight at dinner before that. Weird foreplay, but I can respect it.”

Everyone, mostly Question Mark and Shooting Star, have insisted on family dinners since both sets of Pines twins returned to Gravity Falls. And, somehow, Bill gets lumped into that because he sleeps in the Shack (specifically, the sofa in the living room because everywhere else is off-limits). It’s been three weeks and most everything has been simpatico, Shooting Star was the fastest to warm up after her initial talk too of “unspeakable horrors” she’ll unleash on him if he steps a toe out of line. The fact that he’s powerless seems to make her willing to humor him.

…also something about him looking like a wet rat? And it was a good thing? Bill didn’t ask. Or, rather, he had asked and she brushed him off and because he knew Stanley will flay him alive if he lays a finger on either niece or nephew, he let it go.

Pine Tree has been a lot more hesitant in his behavior, sure, but he’s recently started being in the same room with Bill and musing aloud in ways that Bill knows are directed at him without talking to him. Pine Tree will state something stupid about the state of the town and when Bill corrects him, he’ll scribble it down, go silent, then rinse and repeat.

Stan has been… well, they were avoiding each other without problem. The closest they get to a conversation is when they’re both sitting in the living room after everyone else has gone to bed and before Stan goes to his bed and Bill passes out on the sofa. Their talk is a roundabout back and forth about complaining about what’s on the television and saying there’s “never anything good on”. Occasionally Bill will liken something on the screen to something he’s seen on television in other dimensions, Stan will grunted, and then they go back to silence.

They’ve also worked out a system where they’re allies in their silent agreement to watch The Duchess Approves as long as no one else finds out about it.

…and then there’s Ford.

They haven’t been in the same room as each other outside of dinner even remotely. Bill doesn’t look at him, Ford doesn’t acknowledge him, and it’s fine.

It’s fine.

It doesn’t bother him even a little that Ford won’t even look at him, won’t talk to him. Doesn’t bother him that when Bill does talk, he rolls his eyes. It doesn’t bother him either that Ford gets up every time Bill enters the room even for a moment. It’s not like he cares about the asshole or wants to see him. It’s fine for Bill.

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

And because it is so fine, he’s not sure what exactly caused him to get mouthy with Sixer the night before.

Ford had made some inane comment and Bill couldn’t help but correct him. Over a trillion years in the multiverse, he knows when he’s right about something.

Ford bit back.

And Bill argued against.

It’d devolved into a petty back-and-forth, both of them digging their claws in places it shouldn’t go without caring for the carnage it spread.

It ended when Bill called Ford “my shining star” like this was just a philosophical disagreement thirty-one years prior.

He shouldn’t have done that.

The next thing Bill knew, he and Ford were rolling on the ground, fists flying and snarling at one another. Ford caught him in the nose, Bill punched him in the mouth, both of them scratching and pulling hair like a pair of animals.

It took Stanley and Soos both to pull them apart, both of them still swinging until they were forced to calm down.

After that, Bill had left his unfinished dinner to sit on the roof and wait out everyone else’s dinner. It was only because the blood wouldn’t stop flowing from his nose while the blood on his knuckles had dried uncomfortably to the point he kept accidentally ripping it when he flexed his hand that convinced him to go downstairs.

He’s still figuring out this whole human thing and, yeah, he was fumbling with the tape and his nose was dripping all over everything and he was fighting not to get it on the stupid sweater he got from Shooting Star and—

That’s how Ford found him.

There were no words as he crowded into the small bathroom with him, took off his gloves, and started to doctor Bill.

Neither of them say that there’s something familiar about this, them being together while cleaning up blood and puss and setting bones, usually injuries inflicted on Ford by Bill. There’s probably something funny about the idea of it being the other way around now.

They’re both too tired or embarrassed to say anything for awhile, but then Ford makes an innocuous statement that raises Bill’s hackles and there goes the peace. Then they’re shoving and pushing into a wall, Bill effectively having Ford cornered against it, chest-to-chest, spitting in each other’s faces, and then—

Then they were decidedly not fighting.

“Yeah, well, Fordsy is a know-it-all prick who doesn’t actually know everything,” Bill defends. “He started the fight.”

“That’s not what I heard,” Red replies in a singsong voice.

“And who’s telling you this?!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Red goes quiet for a moment, but he knows she’s still staring at him. “Did you two really make out though?”

Bill is quiet, can’t quite find the words he wants to say about this. Was his tongue in Ford’s mouth? Yes. Were Ford’s hands in his hair? Also yes. Did Stan walk in while Bill’s hand was halfway down the front of Ford’s pants? Regrettably.

“It was a… heat of the moment thing.”

“Wow. I mean, I knew you two were something back then, but I figured you two had, you know, moved past that.”

Bill doesn’t respond for awhile, leaning back to sweep the dust into the garbage bag he’s holding.

“So did I.”

[saintsenara]

given lily evans's surname and working class midlands childhood, is it correct to say that she comes from a welsh background? any other welsh coded characters in the series?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i mean, potentially. evans is certainly a welsh [or maybe cornish] surname, but it's an anglicised one and, as a result, is really widely distributed across britain:

for comparison's sake...

this means that it wouldn't be immediately perceived as being welsh on someone who didn't have a welsh accent, much like other anglicised welsh surnames, like rees, jones, morgan, and davies.

[names like mcgregor or o'connor - in contrast - would be perceived as scottish or irish in origin respectively, even on someone who was as english as they come.]

so mr evans might be welsh, or he might come from a line which has lived in cokeworth for centuries.

and - it's worth saying - that even if he is of immediate welsh origin, this wouldn't come with any significant social barriers. there are lots of jokes and stereotypes about welshmen - i'm sure he'd be known as "taff" or "boyo" to the lads in the pub and would hear a fairly regular sheep-shagging joke - but none of this would prevent him from being perceived as an equal within his class group.

[being irish, on the other hand, would. especially in the seventies.]

as for other characters, the only time the word "welsh" is used in the books is to describe the common welsh green dragon [celtic legend, we stan!].

on the basis of names, we can uncover:

six unambiguously welsh legends from canon - dai llewelyn, gwenog jones, gawain robards [who are the only people i can find with clearly welsh first names], celestina warbeck [although this comes from extra-canonical material], sir cadogan, and, of course, merlin.

two important families with names which are widespread in wales - even if they're not etymologically of welsh origin - prewett [molly weasley as gwen shipman, i can see it] and carrow.

and then a scattering of people with anglicised welsh surnames and non-welsh first names [mark evans, hestia jones, roger davies, etc.], anglicised welsh surnames and unknown first names [the hufflepuff quidditch player cadwallader], and anglicised welsh first names but non-welsh surnames [caradoc dearborn, owen cauldwell - who's much more likely to be scottish, dilys derwent, gladys gudgeon, ivor dillonsby etc.]. dean thomas also has a welsh surname, but we should assume this comes via the caribbean - the crimes of empire were perpetrated by the celts too.

in the films, bill nighy plays rufus scrimgeour as a welshman [it's actually a scottish surname - a lot of the surnames jkr uses are, which makes sense, given her long association with the place], and i've definitely accepted that into my own headcanon. even if he doesn't quite have lloyd george vibes...

[widowed-mistress]

Okay! As per my last post, things I think people should add to their Steven Universe and Gravity Falls stories.

Grown Up Steven during Events of Gravity Falls

Steven does not need to be in every adventure

Yes, I want him to cultivate a relationship with the twins, BUT I want him to have his own life

I don't just want him to be their protector because they need to learn lessons on their own too

Give. Him friends!!! Wendy and hee group could potentially be friends with him since they're similar to the Cool Kids, BUT u like the Cool Kids, Wendy and her friends doesn't really *think* ahead about other people

For an example of a stark contrast, the Cool Kids take seat belt safety seriously AND grilled the gems for being too hard on Steven. "He's just a kid!" One of the few times an adult stood up for him.

Meanwhile Wendy, who I love very much so, took advantage of Mabel to get an afternoon off from work with full pay after trashing the Mystery Shack with her friends. The Cool Kids have responsibilities and passions they take seriously and realize the sacrifices of them. That doesn't mean they don't act like teenagers and hurt people while being selfish, but they take more accountable. I imagen Steven trying to befriend them only to realize this and back away, making friends with Soos and Stan since their accountability standards are higher.

Stan knowing Steven is "weird" and entrusting him with keeping the kids safe

For a few monsters, Steven's powers are useless, but to make him defenseless against Bill? C'mon now. He SUBCONSCIOUS uses these powers and we see that when he does do things on purpose, he is GOOD at it. His gem is a gem whose main powers revolve around creations and destruction of things dead of alive. I'm not saying make him OP, since that is not fun, but I feel like he gets nerfed too much in these stories. Which is why I emphasize, don't let him go on every adventure

It would be nice for him and Connie to be used as a good example of a healthy relationship for Mabel. She tends to just throw herself to relationship, so her learning indirectly what makes a good relationship could be sweet.

Him and McGucket as friends. Please. Hand and knees, need this.

Even though Mabel and Dipper don't appose each other like Ford and Stan do, their differences are highlighted once Ford arrives, Steven would be a good meadeator between them

Steven could be the PERFECT obstacle during Weirdmaggedon, I'm talking Bill purposefully curropting him obstacle.

I'm talking building up a relationship between the adults in the show and having THEM take care of it. While I loved Future's ending (cried a lot). I also feel like nobody really acknowledged that many of Steven's problems arrived from adults putting their problems on him. It was mostly people saying they WOULD support him now

Grown Up Steven after Events of Gravity Falls

At least ONE person not fully trusting him

The family thinks he's trying to hide that he's "weird," he is not. He is VERY happy that he gets treated like a human while not hiding that he is a gem, actually

Make him friends with the woodland creatures

Can Fall in Either Category

Good adult figures in his life

Normally these stories focus on him being human in Gravity Falls. No! Well not completely. He probably arrives wanting it to start out that way but as he realizes how normalized weirdness is here, he begins to finally embrace both halves of himself. Existing as both gem and human without separating the other. Using his gem abilities but not for life saving events. Let him have his own fountain/garden in Gravity Falls

Stan slowly learning how Steven lived before (van life, eating bits for free at the Fry shop, cooking eggs using a waffle pan, nobody forgot that the only reason baby Steven and Greg didn't freeze when he was a baby was because Vedalia was out of town right?) And they bond over i

[yugiamaneisdead]

Quick post debunking those half-baked opinions I'm seeing on tiktok and Twitter using just Journal 3:

1. "Mabel was selfish/mean/ungrateful/ an awful person etc" let alone the fact she's a 13 yr old girl and also regularly risked her life for him... The point is that they grew and learned. They made mistakes and apologized for it, and they forgave. They moved on. (Something Stan and Ford could never do -- a contrast)

2. "Stanford just used Fiddleford and was the sole reason for the falling out" Ford obviously cared a lot about Fiddleford, but the fact was that they didn't trust each other as much as they should've, and Ford was being manipulated 24/7 (add on sleep deprivation, mind manipulation, etc.) That's the point of the "TRUST NO ONE" message being debunked - there are things you can't do on your own, and you need someone you trust to fall back on. But they didn't have that. (Second pic is of Fiddleford talking to young Blind Ivan, and it's implied this is where he got the memory gun idea, due to his traumatic experience striking a cord in Fiddleford.)

3. "Ford is a bad person, used Stan, etc, all that shit." Ford fucked up. Literally everyone knows that. But after seeing who Stan was, who he really was, Ford was forced to confront the fact that his image of his brother was warped from years and years of being on his own, running for his life, living in constant paranoia, being manipulated into trusting no one but a dream demon, and yes, his ego. He admits it himself. And Stan isn't a perfect person, but the image (in the beginning) of him is inaccurate in the Journal, because it's written from Ford's pov. He hasn't had to look from someone else's POV in years, so he sees Stan's actions as selfish and unreasonable. But later on, he realizes it. He's been living like he's simply better than others due to his intelligence, criticizing everything Stan does, but in the end, he realizes he was wrong, and the brother he loved has been there the whole time, risking his life readily and daily just for a chance to protect his family, giving up everything for them. He realizes he was unjust. And it's not an excuse -- but a reason, one that shouldn't be dumbed down to "Oh he's a bad person". And he recognizes that Stanley has every right to deny his dream after Ford belittled Stan's.

He kept films of when they were kids, and stayed by Stan's side constantly while his memory was returning. Stan is important to him, he was simply in an awful situation that caused him to act awful. Stan is Ford's hero.

4. "Ford abandoned Fiddleford/Fiddleford got a bad ending". Be so fr, even disregarding the credits scene where Fiddleford is with his son, and the scene where Fiddleford says he can start forgiving instead of forgetting what Ford did and put him through, there are full pages of this guy's ramblings abt him. And he remembers such minute details about his friend, such as the rubix cube. He went out of his way to help rebuild Fiddleford's life.

Bonus number 5: "The road trip episode wasn't logical to put into the second season because they were trying to be protected from Bill. " that was explained too! Though it was only in the Journal so I get it yk? But Ford's aim was the protect the kids in case he made a mistake.

Anyways that's all for now, just a bunch of things I noticed ppl forgot or didnt know while reading Journal 3.

[soulwillower]

tozier • beverly marsh

(beverly marsh x reader smut)

part two of this series! <3

requested: okay so once regular requests open, here's my idea. so the reader and richie are siblings and they absolutely hate each other and to get under his sisters skin, he fucks her best friend. so in sheer anger she decides to fuck all of his

warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of recreational drug use, oral sex (fem receiving), woooo thats it i think, unedited as usual!

[losers and reader are 20+ in this.]

2.6k words

♡

you sigh as you slam your pillow over your head, once again trying to drown out the noise of the group of howling, feral 20 year olds in the room next to yours. 

it's not even extremely late - it's only midnight, but you were up all day doing chores around the house and you got kept up late last night by richie, yelling as loud as he could at his pc while he drank enough monster energy's to power a small boat. you groan.  

you are (shockingly!) still very pissed at richie. you haven’t said barely any words to him, no matter how many times you’ve wanted to scream i fucked your best friend! 

you want him to feel exactly how you feel, because now you don’t even have your best friend to talk to about it. you sigh, flipping around. 

slowly, you rise from your bed and stalk into the hall, sighing as you hear stan uris through the door mutter something along the lines of fucking a girl in the shower. you try not to turn red as you take a moment to imagine that situation.... with him... you shake your head. he's probably talking some big game, anyways.

you push open the door, remembering what you'd gotten up for as you walk into richie's room, wrinkling your nose at the smell of weed. all the occupants look up, making your stomach tingle at the attention. you make eye contact with your brother.

"can you and your friends be a bit quieter?" you ask, knowing you sound like a brat but too annoyed to really care. richie scoffs, "this is my room." is all he adds and you roll your eyes. stan snorts from the corner and you throw a half hearted glare to him, which he returns with a half-smirk and a lifted brow. your stomach flips.

you ignore the burning in your face as you realize all six of richie's hot friends are staring at you, and you grumble. "we have a basement and a living room for a reason. bedrooms are for sleeping." you say and then you catch ben's eye and immediately turn red at his look and the words you'd used.

right.... you hadn't ever mentioned the other night with ben since it'd happened - he seemed perfectly content to just move on. still, you keep finding your mind slipping back to it and how good it felt to get back at richie while having a great time simultaneously.

“you’re such a prude, aren’t you?” richie mutters. you snap your head to him, narrowing your eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean, asshole?” you spit. 

richie smirks, lifting a brow. “you need to live a little, sis. just get laid or something.” 

in the corner of the room, ben huffs a short laugh.

you can’t even look at him, trying to hide your smirk as you open your mouth, about to drop the bomb that you actually did get laid the other night, as a matter of fact -

“l-lay off her, r-rich. i’m sure y/n do-does just f-fine.” bill says, a smirk on his face as he winks at you. you feel like you might pass out from his words, your face heating up. 

“what the fuck do you mean, denbrough?” richie then spits to bill, who smirks at you and then richie. 

“-he’s saying that y/n definitely gets way more than you do, trashmouth.” stan pipes up, and your chest may just fucking implode. you gape at stan, who just grins to himself and nods to richie, who’s fuming. you smile to yourself, your chest warm and fuzzy at his look. 

“they’re right, rich. i mean, have you seen her?” bev says, making you smirk, heart beating faster than you ever thought possible. you can’t believe the words falling from richie’s friend’s mouths - even if they’re just trying to piss richie off, you’re still flattered. 

“guys.” mike says, but he’s grinning and he shrugs with a wink when you make eye contact. 

richie looks like he could punch a hole through the wall above stan’s head. “shut the fuck up, you assholes. my best friends are not fucking allowed near my sister.” he hisses, face red in anger. 

“well isn’t that ironic.” you spit, glaring at him as you cross your arms. bev smirks as she looks at you and mike snorts into his hand in the silence. 

"god. can you just fucking piss off, y/n?" is all richie says, but then after second thought rises to his feet, "actually, i've got somewhere to be."

a little put off by his change in attitude, but more relieved for richie to be out of your hair, you grin. "finally." 

his friends all start to gather their things and you deflate a little at the thought of not being able to waltz around your house with tons of eye candy lingering at every corner, but at least richie will also be gone.

"get fucked, richie." you say as a farewell, turning to leave when beverly marsh speaks up from where she lays across bill's legs smugly.

"hey y/n, can i borrow a hair tie?" she asks, making your face turn pink as you look at her. you nod though, turning to walk to the bathroom in search of an elastic. she follows, shutting the door on her way out and pulling up her jeans a bit, making you swallow as you see a sliver of her stomach. 

you'd always thought she was hot - out of richie's friends, certainly one of the most well-rounded and tolerable, right up there with bill and stan. bev makes you nervous in a way that excites you and it's always been that way, since you first met her a few years ago.

she's humming a song you're not familiar with as she hops onto the counter, the sound of the front door shutting downstairs leaving you in relative silence.

why does she make you so nervous?

you rummage through the pull-out drawer and try not to stare at her figure in the mirror as you look up briefly. "y/n?" she asks and you look up at her in question.

"yeah, bev?" you ask, sounding breathless. you curse yourself silently as she smirks.

"i don't really need one." she says, making you look up and raise a brow. "really?" you ask, smiling at her as she grins at you, nodding and chuckling as she leans her head against the mirror. "i just wanted to get away from them. they're such assholes, sometimes. i like girls much more, anyways." she says and you almost choke as she winks at you.

your mind flashes, at that moment, to the hickey that'd been sprawled over cecily's neck at the pool the other day and you see red for a moment. then, your mind wanders to how it'd feel to have hickies like those pressed all over your own neck, from someone like bev. you clench your thighs and curse yourself, knowing bev was flirty but she probably wasn't actually interested. you're richie's sister, after all.

"don't you?" she asks, continuing your thought, and it makes you grin - maybe she did like you like that after all. you smile at bev, "we just get each other, don't we?" you say flirtily, leaning against the sink with your hands on either side of her thighs. you're unsure where this confidence comes from, but you think it has something to do with the way bev is staring at you.

her eyes glow with a challenge at your words and she boldly places a hand on your neck. she hums out, "exactly."

you're feeling confident as ever as you lean forward, clashing your lips against bev's harshly. she meets your lips with a fire and passion you barely knew existed and it takes you back as she pulls you close, legs wrapping around your waist.

her tongue is warm as it slides against your lips, making you groan into her mouth. you smell orange shampoo on her and a sweet perfume that engulfs you as she slides against you so you're both standing, your hand on her neck and waist and hers sliding down to grip your ass. you whimper lightly and she grins against your lips, mouth leaving yours to suck along the column of your throat. "bev..." you mutter, pulling her flush against you as her feet hit the ground and she suddenly slams you lightly against the wall. you gasp and her hands slowly move to palm your breasts.

you whimper as you tug on her shirt and she pulls away with glossy lips and a grin to pull her shirt over her head. you bite back a groan as your eyes scan her body, chest heaving as she watches you, a black lace bra contrasting against her soft skin and freckles.

you pull her back against you and her lips meet yours with fire, making you weak at the knees.

"you know, they're all gone." she whispers against your lips and you whimper as you feel her fingers dance across the apex of your thighs, slowly rubbing your clit over your clothes. "we're all alone."

her words send shivers down your spine.

you slowly pinch her nipple through the lace of her bra and she lets a small moan that makes you wetter than you already are and you bite your lip as she sinks to her knees. 

you run your hand through her fiery hair, gazing at her with need as she smirks up at you and presses kisses to your stomach. “god, bev. please.” you say quietly. 

she kisses your clit softly and you have to scrunch your eyes closed in order to not buck your hips in pleasure. 

the way she slides your underwear down your legs, kissing the skin as she goes gives you goosebumps and you have to grip the towel hanging next to you because you can feel her breath on your aching heat. "fuck." you say quietly, eyes screwed shut out of desperation.

bev lets out a small hum, one hand falling to your thigh to steady you as she licks a bold stripe up your heat suddenly. 

you let out a loud whimper, eyes opening and catching the sight of your reflection in the bathroom mirror - you're braced against the wall, bev on her knees in front of you as her tongue works slow figure eights on your clit, making your stomach clench and your toes curl.

her tongue makes you clench and she holds your legs open with her hand, moaning lightly as you tug on her hair. 

and then she slips a finger inside you, sliding easily into your heat and pumping fluidly, making your legs turn to jelly. 

she looks up at you suddenly through her thick lashes and grins as she presses a kiss to your swollen clit, slipping another finger inside you and moving with enough fervor to make you see stars. “does that feel good, babe?” she mutters lowly, making you melt and moan. 

"bev, oh my god." you say quietly, hand falling into her red strands and carding through the curls, tugging as her tongue returns to rub tight circles on your clit.

you're a whimpering mess, bucking your hips and gasping, trying to chase that pleasure building up in your body as bev's hands pin your hips back against the wall. 

your head falls back against it with a thud and you can't stop moaning her name, her tongue and fingers making you forget your own name. she pumps into you perfectly, hitting your spot perfectly as you whimper helplessly, chasing your high. 

"please, bev." you mutter desperately, your hips bucking and she suddenly pulls away from you, her lips glistening as she stares up at you, fingers stopping.

"already that close, y/n?" her voice is teasing, mischievous and alluring and it makes you whimper again. you grow red as you look away, nodding shyly. she tuts, pressing a small kiss to your clit. 

“someone needs to take better care of you.” she says lowly to herself, making your stomach erupt in butterflies. she flatters her tongue against you, swirling it and flicking against your clit as you let out another moan. “i’m so close, please.” you plead. her fingers slip into you again and you clench up again, her fingers hitting the perfect spot in you and you moan her name. 

you hit your high as you stare at her between your thighs, eye lashes kissing her cheeks as her tongue flattens and she laps up your juices, moaning quietly. you grow weak and her hand stabilizes you up as you ride out your high, clenching so tight around her that her hand stops. 

as she pulls away, she kisses your overstimulated clit and it makes you jump a bit. 

“fuck, that was so hot.” she says with a grin, kissing your stomach gently. you sniff lightly with a sheepish smile. "do you - you want to stay the night?" you ask, out of breath. she stands to her full height and grins at you, eyes bright and glowing with mischief, "hell yeah, babe."

when richie comes home the next morning, he’s startled to see his best friend beverly in his kitchen. "hey, what're you doing here, bevvie?" richie says, yawning into his hand and walking over to grab a slice of bacon from the plate next to the stove. 

beverly swats his hand before he can grab it and turns to him as she flips a pancake. "hands off, tozier. these are for your sister."

he lifts a brow, grabbing a cup to fill it with grapefruit juice as he shakes his head. "very funny. why are you here, though? for real."

beverly ignores his question. "where were you?" she answers with instead, which the tall boy regards with only passing suspicion. "i saw cecily last night." richie says into the rim of his cup casually, making bev gape at him. 

he's got the largest hickeys blossoming on his neck and a trail that goes downward, towards his shirt collar. bev rolls her eyes, “you’re a dick, richie.” she says. 

richie shrugs, looking at her with a grin. “y/n doesn’t care, she was just messing around about being mad.” “don’t think she was messing around when she rocked your shit the other day. that bruise just faded on your cheek.” bev states with a pointed brow. 

"well then we just don't tell y/n." he smiles with a wolfish grin and beverly rolls her eyes, her lips curving into a secretive smirk that richie barely picks up on. “so any reason why you decided to make breakfast in my kitchen?” he asks. 

bev grins, “oh, right. i fucked your sister last night. i figured it’d be nice if i made her breakfast for when she wakes up since i have to leave.” 

it’s silent as richie stares at her for a few moments and bev relishes in the feeling of finally shutting richie up for once. 

but the moment is over too soon as richie raises his brows, chuckling. “you’re fuckin’ weird, marsh.” he says.

beverly almost laughs at his oblivious stupidity. he doesn’t actually believe it? fine, she’ll let y/n have the pleasure of telling him eventually. revenge tastes good no matter if he knows or not.  

bev scribbles a note that says, “y/n ;)” and turns off the stove. 

“give your sister a kiss for me, kay tozier?” she asks with a wink, kissing richie’s cheek after she takes off maggie’s apron and puts the note next to the plate of pancakes and bacon. 

richie watches her leave with furrowed brows, still oblivious. 

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings​ @stenbrozier​ @simplesammyx​ @brxken-heartsclub​ @clownsloveyou​ @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby​ @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier​ @oceandog13​ @finnskindofwoman​  @kait-tozier​ @upamongthestarss​ @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s  @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

[reddie-fangirl24]

First Date (A Reddie Fanfiction)

This was a commission requested by someone on Instagram. Happy first day of Pride Month! Enjoy the fic!

Eddie was not expecting an array of candles to be decorated around the apartment when he came out of the bathroom. How long was he in there for? He was just starting to walk with a walker. He was proving the doctors, and Myra, wrong. They claimed he was never going to walk again.

“Richie?” Eddie called out to his boyfriend. The whole apartment was dim. Oh, don’t tell me, Eddie thought to himself, he’s going to pop out and scare me like in the movie we saw last week.

But it was something completely different. 

“Welcome to Tozier Trashmouth Tavern,” Richie greeted with a smile. He was standing all sophisticated, his chin pointed in the air like one of those butlers in the movies. Yeah, they were definitely watching too many movies together. 

“Rich, what are you doing?” Eddie asked, puzzled.

“Your date should be here soon. He is running late,” Richie prepared the napkin.

“You’re a real weirdo, you know that, right?” Eddie snickered. He never smiled as much as this in years. At first, he thought moving to L.A. to be with Richie wasn’t a good idea, but he was happy to make the right decision in the end.

“If you’re going to leave a tip for the waiter I suggest that you refrain from calling him names. Have a seat,” Richie helped him sit down and he placed a napkin in his lap.

“What’s on the menu for tonight?” Eddie asked once he got situated. The candles were so lovely.

“Well, the person who requested me to make it told me to tell you, ‘we’re having spaghetti and meatballs, spaghetti-man!’” Richie answered with this big old smile.

A smile creased along Eddie’s face. “If you see the guy who requested it, flip him off for me, please?”

“Depends on how big the tip is.”

“When is my date going to be here anyway?” Eddie asked, frustrated, though he was still smiling.

Richie started out of the kitchen.”I’ll go check.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. The spaghetti smelled amazing. Who knew that Richie was such a good cook. And he couldn’t cook anything. He wasn’t allowed to by both his mother and his ex-wife. God, what a sad thing. Once he was stronger he was going to prepare several meals for Richie as a thank you.

Alerted by someone clearing his throat, it was Richie. Oh, great he was wearing the Hawaiian shirt that made him turn his nose up. Well, it wouldn’t be a date if he didn’t. Ah, his first date with Richie Tozier. Never thought he’d ever say that in a million years.

“Hope I’m not late. You wouldn’t believe the traffic!” Richie sat himself down.

“From our bedroom to the kitchen?” Eddie sniped.

“Do you know that you look gorgeous in the glow of candles?” his boyfriend complimented. Leaning his head in his hands. The way Richie stared at him adoringly made Eddie’s heart flutter.

“Is the waiter going to bring us something to drink?” Eddie asked.

“Yes, he told me that he prepared the best sangrias.” He stood up to go to the refrigerator. He poured Eddie a drink. Myra never allowed him to drink - at least when she was around that is. 

“You didn’t make yourself a bourbon?” Eddie asked.

Richie was silent for a moment pouring himself a glass. “I kind of only drink it when I’m nervous.”

“Nervous? Wait, you mean you were nervous when we all met up at the Chinese restaurant?” Eddie turned his head up quizzically. 

“Well, duh! I completely forgot about fighting a psycho clown, my best friends, and...” he cut himself off, averting his gaze somewhat.

“And what?” Eddie asked him.

“Uh... I remembered you,” Richie answered, shyly. Just like when they were kids, Richie was still sky under that energetic and humorous personality of his. Eddie didn’t mind. He loved a man with layers.

Eddie reached across the table to touch his hand. “Once I remembered you I had you on my mind during the whole drive to Derry. I kept imagining what you looked like.

“Were you satisfied with the results?” Richie snickered, sipping his drink.

“I am satisfied,” Eddie told him sincerely.

Richie flushed, a small smile creasing along his face.

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie asked him.

“Shoot!”

“How come you’re not nervous now? It’s our first date.”

“Well, I guess ‘cause we finally admitted our feelings to each other. And we’ve been living together for a month now. Guess I didn’t realise it.”

Eddie smiled at the answer. He didn’t feel nervous either. In contrast to his first date with Myra (which his mother set up) he was fumbling for his inhaler, sweating, and couldn’t think of anything to say.

Next, Richie served him his spaghetti with meatballs. He even placed a piece of butter on a small plate. Taking his first bite of the meal, Eddie audibly voiced how delicious it was.

“Mm, where did you learn how to cook, Rich?”

“Well, my mom showed me a few tips when I was kid. Plus when you’re living on your own, you have to cook,” Richie explained.

Eddie looked at him over the candle light. “Have you...” he stopped.

“What?”

“No, this is our date, forget about it. It’s not the right conversation.”

“Who says anything is the right conversation on a first date?”

“I’m curious to know how you know that,” Eddie leaned forward, curious.

“Oh, when I first moved out here, it was kind of lonely before I became famous. So, I went on some dates. One of them, Rhonda, I think her name was, blabbed about the stupidest things! And another time this one woman tried to talk me into going to Paris with her - the next day!”

Eddie laughed. There was a brief moment of silence. “So, have you ever dated any guys?”

Richie just shook his head. “No.”

“Why? If it’s okay to ask.”

Richie looked into his eyes, a sorrowful tone in them. “I was scared.”

Reaching across to touch his hand again, Eddie gave him a tight squeeze. “I really wish I didn’t forget you.”

“Hey, it wasn’t just you. It was that stupid curse,” Richie reassured him.\

Enjoying their meal, the couple laughed over stories. They also griped, which was their trademark. Oh, they bickered so much when they were kids that they drove their friends mad. Mainly Stan that is.

“Rich?”

“Huh?” Richie asked. He realized that were was a beat of silence.

“Are you okay?” he asked, gently rubbing his hand up his arm. “You went all quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, I... uh, just remembered Stan,” he said, melancholic. “Sometimes I forget that Stan is dead. I wonder if he still would have rolled his eyes if he sat between us at the restaurant.”

Eddie laughed. “I think he would have splashed his drink in your face!”

Now Richie bellowed in laughter. He laughed so hard that tears welled up in his eyes. “And he would have told us to ‘shut up’!”

“You know what, Rich,” Eddie remarked, smiling into the table. Richie loved seeing him smile. Seeing Eddie happy meant the world to him. The first month of Eddie’s recovery process was a tough one. Even though he wasn’t the one who was injured, Richie could still feel the pain that Eddie endured. As long as he could make Eddie laugh, it was enough for him.

“We need to thank Mike,” Eddie told him. “He did get us back together after all.”

“I wonder how his place in Florida is. He’d better find someone good after being locked in Derry his whole life.”

“Did we ever thank him?” Eddie pondered. “I know Bill must have. With all the chaos from my injury, I don’t remember.”

Richie snickered. “You were on a lot of drugs. If only I could have recorded what you said!”

“You realize that you talk in your sleep, right?” Eddie turned up his brow

“Well, your snoring isn’t a pleasure!” Richie retorted.

“Don’t even get me started on that with you!”

Richie laughed. He laughed so loudly that the neighborhood could hear him. “Oh, Eds, this date is better than I imagined it would be.”

“Call me Eds again and I will toss this meatball in your face!” Eddie threatened.

“You love being called Eds and you know it!”

Again, they fell into silence just staring into one another's eyes. This all felt like a dream. Some nights Richie was afraid to fall asleep, fearing that Eddie wouldn’t be next to him when he woke up.

“Did the waiter leave us any dessert?” Eddie asked, mesmerized by Richie’s blue eyes. 

“Tell you what, I’ll pay the bill and we can eat brownie sundaes out on the couch while we watch movies?”

Eddie nodded. Richie helped him stand. Lingering, Eddie wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s torso. Smiling up at him, he kissed him under the bright glow of the candles. This was the best date ever.

[nenoname]

the fanon "ford needs a special nickname for stan to show that theyre close!!!" was kinda funny to me cos like. the show is pretty blatant with dipper not having a nickname for mabel and we all know that she's the most important person to him

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #498

Top Ten Movie Cameos

The first time I think I ever noticed someone cameoing in a movie was Steven Spielberg. I was watching The Blues Brothers, and there was this guy, who I was sure was Mr. The Berg. I must have seen him in some behind-the-scenes something or the other. But he was a director, not an actor, so it couldn’t have been him, right? Then years later I was reading Empire, and sure enough, I was vindicated. It was indeed the play mountain himself. But more on that later.

So, cameos, then. What is a cameo? Now, in my opinion, I think it really has to be small. Really, it should just be one scene – or even one shot. The smaller the better. I’ve seen people online refer to Judi Dench in Shakespeare in Love or Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder as cameos, which is very, very daft, as those are clearly supporting roles – even if they are quite small (and remember, Dench didn’t win her Oscar for “Best Cameo”, she won it for “We Meant To Give You This Last Year”, which is a very important category in the Oscars). I also think the best cameos should be unexpected; a nice surprising treat. And usually they’re funny – the incongruity of seeing that person in this film. Because that’s the other thing: for a cameo to really work, the person cameoing has to be kinda famous. For instance, some might say that Ashley Johnson in The Avengers is a cameo, but whilst she’s obviously awesome and prodigiously talented, I don’t think she’s instantly recognisable enough (which, y’know, she’s mostly famous as a voice actor); also there’s nothing inherently funny or surprising about her role, she’s a waitress who’s saved by Captain America. It doesn’t feel like it’s saying anything to have Johnson play that role, other than I guess Joss Whedon wanted her in the movie (it’s actually funnier that her brief scene is referenced in Loki, because Kate Herron had the whole of the MCU to draw from in a montage, but chose to use an unknown character who’s in one tiny bit of one film, entirely because she’s a huge fan of The Last of Us – see, that is arguably a cameo).

So my rationale for what is and isn’t a cameo might seem complex or even arbitrary, but when has that stopped me in the past? And so, with no further ado, we now get deep into the weeds of it and celebrate my favourite movie cameos of all time. Oh, and there’s no Bill Murray here; I know, I know, it’s a really famous cameo, but, er, I’ve never seen Zombieland. Sorry.

Stan Lee in Pretty Much Everything (2000-2019): I mean, who else? The absolute King of Cameos. Lee was a massive publicity hound all his life, and passed up no opportunity to get in front of the camera, so once big, proper movies were being made of his comics, he was right there, selling hot dogs in X-Men (2000), rescuing children in Spider-Man (2002), and then right through every MCU film until his sad death in 2019 (and even popping up in Teen Titans!). Hearing him tell Miles Morales “I'm going to miss him,” in Into the Spider-Verse chokes me up every time.

Carrie Fisher & George Lucas in Hook (1991): this has always been one of my favourites because unlike virtually every other entry in this list, you only know this if you’ve been told. But it’s funny and it’s sweet. When Tinkerbell takes Peter to Neverland, she flies over a bridge, where a silhouetted couple are seen canoodling. Her pixie dust falls across them, and they begin to float into the air. And apparently the unrecognisable couple are played by Princess Leia and the director of Star Wars. Which, I think you’ll agree, is pretty cool (Hook is really good for cameos).

Brad Pitt in Deadpool 2 (2018): having an invisible character offers plenty of opportunity for some good gags, especially in a Deadpool movie, but the real laugh in the film comes when the Vanisher is electrocuted and we get to see his face for a split second. And – ha – it turns out to be the hugely mega-famous Brad Pitt. It’s funny because he’s a massive star.

Martin Sheen in Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993): it’s one thing for the movie to do an Apocalypse Now gag, as Charlie Sheen’s Topper Harley sails down a river on a military boat, but hanging a lampshade on it by making it cross over with Martin Sheen’s Willard from the classic seventies Vietnam epic is another thing entirely. And then both actors notice each other – ha, funny, they’re father and son in real life – and say in unison, “I loved you in Wall Street!”. Very on-the-nose all the funnier for it.

Steven Spielberg in The Blues Brothers (1980): well, I mentioned him, and here he is, a totally nonplussed-looking administrator bloke just merrily eating a sandwich. He’s frightfully young (I’m guessing he was probably about 32 or 33) and he’s got a big brown tache instead of his usual ‘Berg Beard, he’s dressed very smartly and he’s awfully polite. His demeanour is hilariously in stark contrast to the mayhem around him, and his public persona is also hilariously in contrast to the raucous and ribald mood of the movie.

Cate Blanchett in Hot Fuzz (2007): this is one I didn’t even notice till I read about it after seeing the movie. In a very funny scene where Simon Pegg’s Nick Angel chats to his ex-girlfriend Janine, she is head-to-toe in forensic gear throughout, with a mask covering her face, so all we see are her eyes. But the gag of it is, she’s played by the phenomenally famous Cate Blanchett. You get a megastar to do one scene but make her unrecognisable. So funny it beats Peter Jackson’s evil Santa.

Don Ameche & Ralph Bellamy in Coming to America (1988): this is another one I remember finding hilarious when I was a kid. Walking down the street late at night with love interest Lisa (Shari Headley), Akeem (Eddie Murphy) nonchalantly gives a huge wad of cash to some poor homeless bums. But it turns out that they’re played by Murphy’s old Trading Places co-stars Ameche and Bellamy – and they refer to each other by their character names from that earlier film. “We’re back!” declares Ameche, referencing the end of Trading Places, when their crooked broker characters were defeated and ruined by Murphy and Dan Aykroyd. It’s a great bit of shared-universe tomfoolery, and very funny for fans of Murphy’s movies. Oh, and speaking of Aykroyd…

Dan Aykroyd in Casper (1995): in 1995 it had been six long, bitter years without a new Ghostbusters film; back then, we could still hold out hope for a proper Ghostbuster 3. Sadly that never came to pass, but it was a very pleasant surprise when Ray Stantz himself popped up in Casper, of all things, fearfully running out of Whipstaff Manor in full ghostbusting regalia and declaring, “Who ya gonna call? Someone else!”. I mean, after facing down Gozer and Vigo and who knows what else, you’d think three sarcastic arsehole ghosts would be no match for him, but maybe the ‘busters were having tough times. Maybe this will all be backstory in Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Maybe Cathy Moriarty and Eric Idle will return the favour and do cameos of their own. We can but hope.

Matt Damon, Luke Hemsworth, & Sam Neill in Thor: Ragnarok (2017): twenty years ago you could point to Goldmember as the, er, gold standard in multi-character cameo pile-ups. And while that is great – Danny DeVito giving the finger, Spielberg back-flipping – I think it’s been surpassed by this minor gaggle of stars hamming it up. Matt Damon – famouser than anyone actually billed in the movie – is An Actor Playing Loki. Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park is An Actor Playing Odin (whilst Odin’s actor, Anthony Hopkins, plays Tom Hiddleston playing Loki playing Odin – do keep up), and Thor’s Real-Life Brother plays An Actor Playing Thor. It’s all delightfully meta and hilarious.

Ollie Johnston & Frank Thomas in The Incredibles (2004): this one’s really sweet, and like the Hook cameo, would very easily slip you by. At the end of the film, after the climactic battle, two old men cheer on the superheroes – “That’s old school!” “Yep, no school like the old school!” – but what’s great is that they’re voiced by – and designed to look like – Ollie Johnston and Frank Thomas, the last two surviving members of the famous “Nine Old Men” group of Disney animators, who’d worked on many of the classic Disney films. This was Pixar and director Brad Bird giving a tip of the hat to the legends who came before them, and made all the sweeter by the fact that Johnston and Thomas (both sadly now deceased) were absolute best buds in real life. A cameo that educates and makes you think! How nice!

There you go. Sadly no room for any of the many great Star Wars cameos, from Daniel Craig through to George Lucas’ entire family. Oh well!

[popculturebuffet]

Blacksad: Somewhere In the Shadows Review

Hello you beautiful people! I have a WEIRD relationship with Noir. It’s weird because i’ve never really dived into the films of type, though I really should, But as a kid I absolutely LOVED the tracer bullet arcs in Calvin and Hobbes, where everyone’s favorite hyperactive and imaginative six year old would plant himself as the hero in a noir pastiche.. ironically like myself Bill Watterson was also not a huge noir buff and just relied on Cliches but hey, it worked. 

Still love these. So from fourth grade on it imprinted a lifelong love of a good bit of detective noir. Not enough to you know, get me to read any traditional noir books or watch any noir tv shows or detective procedurals but I still love a good mystery from time to time and some of my favorite comics such as Howard the Duck by Chip Zdarksy and Peter David’s second run on x-factor run on the genre while having fun with it’s cliches. 

I also love anthropormphic animal stories. Dunno why, I just do, so once I found out about Blacksad, a comic that combines disney quality art from a former disney animator with gripping, adult noir that rips your heart out... I couldn’t resisit trying it. Telling the tale of John Blacksad, a cynical private detective and the cases he steps into via gorgeous, straight out of a disney storyboard art, the series is by  Juan Díaz Canales (writer) and Juanjo Guarnido (artist), the latter a former Disney artist who worked on several Disney films, meeting in the 90′s while working on licensed works and hitting it off, leading to this series.  That’s.. really all I could find about the making of the series in English. The only other fact is the series is designed for first release in France, which has a huge comics market, hence the various volumes being called “Albums”, with them later being released in Spain and then english, currently in the latter through Dark Horse Comics, who last year collected the current 5 albums and some side stories into one big volume. And with Dark Horse having infrequent sales including Blacksad on comixology it’s easy enough to pick up all 5 volumes in one complete package on digital for 9 bucks, as it is right now. Seriously I’m not trying to shill for Comixology or Dark Horse, I just love these comics and suggest picking them up. The creators DO intend on new volumes... it’s just both have been busy with other work so they’ve been stuck in development hell since 2013. However given there have always been, if much smaller, the biggest being 5 years, gaps between the Albums, I don’t think the series is dead quite yet and with Dark Horse fully backing it, taking the series from only two volumes getting translated to both translating the first four AND translating the fifth within a year of it’s release, we’ll undoubtly get the next one quickly. The series has also spawned a game, Under the Skin, which i’ll probably also cover some day as i’m dying to play it, but i’m waiting for a sale because it’s around 30 bucks and I can wait. It’s also been nominated for an Eisner three times to no suprise and has had fans in Stan Lee, Jim Steranko, Tim Sale and Will freaking Eisner. Yes the GUY the awards were named after liked the series.  So yeah, I love this series and highly support it, but the thought of covering it hadn’t occrued to me.. in part because I already had three comic retrsopectives going, my looks at The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, Scott Pilgrim and New X-Men, and simply because I just hadn’t thought of it till Kevin, frequent patron and comissioner of the blog whose paid for tons of reivews, suggested covering the second Album, Arctic Nation, which has our hero searching for a missing little girl he feels has been taken by the titular white supramacist movement.. and if your wondering “Wait how the fuck does that work their animals”, John is black coded due to his black fur, while the white suprmacists are all Arctic Animals.. a touch I really like as I’d honestly never thought of that as a metaphor but it fits like a glove, especially given that most white furred arctic mamals are pretty agressive looking. So yeah I’ll be covering that one next month for Black History Month, among many other things, but I felt I wanted to cover the series in order and since again, it’s only the second of five and I had a free space on the schedule. So without further adew, join me somewhere in the shadows and under the cut as we enter the world of one John Blacksad. 

We open as you’d expect for a Noir with a heady narration and a murder. John was brought in by Smirnov, the chief of police and an old aquantice who serves as his Commissioner Gordon. Since the victim is John’s ex, he was brought in to see if he knows anything and as you’d expect warned not to look into it further, as John dosen’t buy this was a simple robbery. His response is exactly what you’d expect. 

I mean.. what did you expect? You called him out of bed to see his former lovers corpse, KNOWING he’s one hell of detective, dosen’t give up on things easy, and would probably be curious. For him to say “Cool gonna go smoke some reefer and take in a looney tunes short at the theater, call me when you find the murderer?” Also  this series takes place in the 50s. Because of course it does. 

So John goes back to his office to brood, reflecting that the office feels like the remains of an ancient civlization because “It seems to be all that remains of the civlized person I used to be”. Hell of a line. 

We then get his backstory with the victim, Natalia. She’s a famous actress, who John first as a younger man when hired to investgate some death threats she’d received with a boquet of flowers. John shows off just how good he is at his job in just a few panels. 

IT not only shows in just a few panels just how ferocious our hero can be when needed and how good he is at his job, easily having tracked down the man responsible and scared him shitless without breaking as sweat, but how fucking gorgeous the art is. I meant it when I brought up the old disney comparison, as Steranko even mentioned in his introduction to the collection of the first three volumes how it looks like animation cels on the page. IT’s utterly breathtaking and ONLY gets even more lush and beautiful as the series goes on and perfectly fits the noir stylings with it’s realisim, making it’s animal characters feel utterly human and real while still keeping their animal traits in perfect detail. 

John impressed her, and as we see in the next page under his narration they not only had really steamy passionate sex, and why yes we do see them naked even if the bits are covered it’s still very much nsfw and we saw Natalia’s naked corpse earlier, so that ship had already sailed anyway, with Natalia taking him on both as her lover and her on staff detective and the two were much in love.. until the fame apparenlty got to her judging from the visuals, and the realtionship fell apart. 

Before we move on i’d like to talk about the narration which CAN be a bit overwrought here or there and is a bit overused.. but does have it’s mometns of being utterly effective as with above, contrasting John’s statments about a sucessful job and being hired on.. with the beginnings of his and Natalia’s relationship and their passionate lovemaking. IT’s not BAD and it works for the setting, but it can be distracting, but thankfully the series levels this out as we go and they learned from it so no harm done. Just the kinda thing that happens early in a series life when the creators are getting a handle on things, so no harm done. 

But naturally John isn’t going to take the love of his life, responsible for the happiest days of said life, being brutally murdered lying down and is going to find the bastard who did this. So he goes to an old friend, Jake Ositombe, a championship boxer and Nat’s former bodyguard who he recommended to her. Given we see him knock the shit out of his opponent without the slightest effort, yeah good call. Also yes we share the same name and no it’s not weird to type about another Jake, adventure time sorta.. knocked that out of me. Jake dosen’t know much since she fired him a long time ago as one of her lovers hired private security, and the last one he knew of was a guy by the name of Leon.  John, naturally, easily finds the guy’s apartment, Leon Kronkski, a screenwriter.. but also rules him out as the guy lived in a humble apartment and clearly didn’t have the cash to hire his own hired goons. 

He does find a clue, a matchbook for some place called the Cypher Club.. and another when the man’s sweet  mouse landlady shows up, who John charms by pretending to be Leon’s friend and flashing a big smile, finding out a msyterious man with “big bulging eyes”, took him. This scene also to me is great in subtly showing off John’s skill. While the previous flashback showed how badass he is, shoving a gun down the throat of a stalking wannabe murderer with pure rage in his eyes.. here we see a lighter approach, how despite his serious and dour nature.. he easily slips into being cheery and looking like an average joe off the street. He bluffs the landlady not because the plot says so.. but because like any PI he’s just that good at slipping into whatever roll he needs to get the info he needs. He can be his dour self or a charming happy go lucky guy without missing a beat. 

So with that he goes to the studio leon worked for where his boss.. is a walrus j jonah jameson?

But yeah J. Jonah Walruson wants pictures of spider-man.. moving pictures.. but he can’t film them with his star dead and his screenwriter indefintiely gone, with the same bulging eyed man having told JJ he’d be gone indefintely. Nothing suspicious about that!

So naturally John’s next plan is to find the guy.. who is already after him as you’d expect with both a knife to slash at our hero with and the fog covering him so he can hit and run. But unluckily for him .. well i’ll let john say it...

John  headbutts the myserious snake, who only managed to get his coat before and tries to interogate him.. but gets a quick jab to the gut and the guy gets away. 

We soon meet our big bag, who has a big speech about insects and things being usefufl.. and once they stop being useful.. they become dead and collectable, telling the snake man to back off John.. and sending his right hand man to go take care of the Snake who apparently took something from the office. Realizing his numbers up the Snake Man goes to a lizard bar, picks up a package from a friend and runs out the back, knowing he’s being followed.. and we get some hints there’s also racial tension between lizards and mammials here as the bartender, said friend, has the entire bar circle around the guy preventing him from following our mysterious bulging eyed man. 

Meanwhile John goes to the Cipher Club, a wretched hive of scum and villiany. Given Nat was a glamorous movie star, it’s very clear she was here to hide from something or someone, and the bartnender, a wild pig. 

No not you sweetie. The wild pig tells John leon was indeed here and a local rat, in both senses of the word, offers to take John to him.. though understandably John is supscious of the guy he just met in a seedy bar taking him anywhere except to get some heroin. Did Heroin exist yet? Questions for later. But he’s got a case so he follows. Though suprisingly the guy DOES actually come through and it’s not ENTIRELY a trap: he takes john to a tomb for Noel Krinsok.. an anagram for Leon’s name. Unsuprisingly he’s dead. And also unsuprisingly, two hired goons

Show up. As I said not ENTIRELY a trap but it’s obvious given the rat split moments before that our mysterious big bad knew where john would be headed next, and thus while giving him a clue, also set him up to get his head knocked in. And while John is badass.. these guys are a bear and a rhino,  both stronger, bigger, and with suprise on their size, as well as a tombstone to knock john’s head into. They easily beat him senseless and hope he got the message, though john gives a defiant fuck you before being punched out for it. He returns home, feeling like he’s aged 20 years “But no one respects the elderly anymore”, PFFT, and heads home to his rathole, not literally this time, apartment to lay on his cot and think as he gets some rest. 

And while the trail for Leon is cold. our mysterious murderer accidently tipped his hand: only someone with a LOT of money and influence could make a man disappear like this, and it tracks with what we’ve seen so far. The guy has multiple henchman and despite being a big star with plenty of clout, Natalia had to hide in a dive bar just to get away from him and even THEN clearly wasn’t so lucky given she and her new lover both wound up dead.  But Blacksad has bigger problems.. he wakes up in a jail cell.

Turns out Smirnkov had him arrested.. but for his own protection as the case is getting too hot and while he was late on that front given John’s face is hamburger, it’s clear from his tone and demeanor that while he may of been harsh with John earlier.. the two are old friends, and the Chief is simply worried about him winding up dead, and John takes you know being thrown in prison in stride. Which while not a bad scene it is a BIT suspect that a black coded character was thrown in jail for nothing and it’s treated very lightly and as a simple protection between friends, though given they wouldn’t think of coding john like that till next volume, I brush it off as accidental implications in hindsight. 

Smirnkov though also called John here.. because he needs his help. Since Natalia’s Murder Case is pointing very high up, so his superiors have ordered him to bury the case and as he puts it “the bastards know where to squeeze”. And given in volume 3 we learn Smirnov has a wife and children, it’s very obvious where they squoze and to the volume’s credit while we don’t know that yet it’s VERY clear from Smirnov’s body language they went after some form of family. So while he has to give it up.. John does not. So he brought him to jail to offer a proposal: John goes after this son of a bitch and nails him to the wall.. and Smirnov will FULLY protect John no matter what he has to do.  Now naturally given the rightful reckoning for police that’s been going on for almost a year, this SHOULDN’T play well. You have an officer outright telling an outside party that he and his boys will cover up his crimes. But.. honestly even in that framework.. it still works. That’s because.. the system has failed here. The higher up and more corrupt cops put pressure on the honest and hardworking family man Smirnov to stop a legitimate investigation into a horrible murderer.. because the guy is rich. And even now we’ve seen time and time again how rich assholes effortlessly escape the consequences of their action: How our own president who actively asked other nations to interfere in our election escaped his first impeachment trial, but hopefully not the second, aquitted. How Jeffery Epstien took YEARS to bring down with his years of ellicit parties involving innocent women and children he fucking enslaved. How Bill Cosby got away with all kinds of sexual assault for decades. The rich are often literally above the law in this country, so having a down on his luck detective, who retroactively himself is a minority, go after him with the full support of an actually GOOD police officer who genuinely believes in these people being held accountable but is held back by his family’s safety.. it works. John isn’t able to skirt consequences BECAUSE of a corrupt system.. but because the system’s so broken and slanted in the rich’s favor, that the ONLY option an honest officer like Smirnov has is to go outside it. And when asked WHY he’s doing all of this, Smirnov merley replies

... I got chills, their multiplyin. So John plans to find the bulge eyed snake after a hot shower.. only for the guy to hold a gun to John’s head, having been waiting for him and wave the murder weapon, in a baggie around, the item he had retrieved, feeling John’s trying to replace him as number two. However before he can do anything our snake  pal is shot full of holes by the rat from before, who John dispatches with his own gun. 

So the Snake starts to expire.. but feels a kinship with John “We are nothing right cat? Spent so much time waiting for the right chance and when it happens it all falls to pieces”. The Snake explains his roll in things: He was one of the private security our big bad hired to guard Natalia. But being supscious he also hired the rat to follow her around, and thus found out about her affair, brutally torturing and murdering Leon and shooting Natalia in the head. And we finally get a name as our snake friend tragically expires. 

The snake’s death and tragic dying moments are something I forgot about.. but damn if their not really good writing, taking a character who before was seemingly just a murderous goon.. and comparing him to our hero. Another working class joe, and one who just caught up with the wrong asshole at the wrong time. He easily could’ve been john in another life and vice vers and it’s a good parallel. 

So John’s nightmares finally have  name and he naturally goes to confront the guy since he has an almost literal get out of jail free card. Turns out Smirnov is the richest man in town, and has his own big tower. Huh.. sounds familiar, and John simply sneaks his way up and once Statoc’s guards from before hear him rustling about.. sneaks up on them and clocks both one at at time with a fire extinqusher. 

Statoc warmly welcomes our hero inside, and has the fucking lizard balls, as he’s some sort of lizard himself, to offer John a JOB

I mean he’s clearly lost a lot of his goons and most of them were incompetent. He fails to realize that John can’t be bought, is here for vengeance and has no intention of selling his soul to some rich asshole who killed someone he loved for the creepiest and most asinine reasons imaginable. He says john’s Concisence is why he can’t pull the trigger and that he lacks “cold blood”.. before we cut to the next page, where John’s shot the fucker in the head and left a gaping hole where his lack of a brain was. 

And again what makes this work is the aftermath: John is clearly shaken, having ONLY been able to pull the trigger beause of Statoc’s smug grin and clearly not taking the sight of Statoc’s dead body bleeding out well. And while Smirnov keeps his word, covers for him despite the two guards clearly providing an iron clad argument against john and knoiwng thier blatantly covering this up.. he’s not happy about it. 

This is WHY the narrtive still works. Statoc stacked the law against the bad guys. .but despite this being a necessary evil.. it’s still an evil and subverting teh law at this rightly leaves him not in a great place mentally. John himself isn’t even if he plays it off as otherwise, as we get our final bit of narration and one hell of a closing line. 

Final Thoughts:

Somewhere in the Shadows is a bit rough around the edges, leaning a bit too heavily into the noir pastiche and Blacksad being a harboiled detective, something the next volume would ease up on. That being said.. it’s still a masterpiece, with gorgeous art and masterful pacing. While it’s the shortest of the stories, like those after it the pacing is sublime and never feels like it has any down moments or stuff that could’ve been cut, and the mystery keeps you on edge the whole time. Having forgot a lot of the details since last read I was on the edge of my seat the entire story and loving every second of it. Somewhere in the Shadows is the perfect starter for the series, introducing an important charcter in Smirnov and the noir nature and giving us a case personal to John so we can see who he was before, what he is now.. and what he WILL be for the rest of the series. The moment that MADE him into an even harder man than the one we follows here.. when he took a life in cold blood. A masterful story, seriously check it and the other volumes out, on comixology, in stores, great stuff. Next time we look into john and as I said, he’s taking down some racists and we also meet his sidekick weekly for the first time. As for me tommorow I dive back into my Tom Luictor retrospective but hit pause on our boy for a bit to take care of some of the larger plot.   Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[beauregard-s]

Dating Stan Uris and Richie Tozier | HC

Pairing: Stan Uris x Reader x Richie Tozier (+18)

Warnings: Polyamorous relationship, NSFW material, fluff yes, alcohol and possibly underage drinking

Anon said: “reader dating stan and richie hc's?”

A/n: Yeah, I didn’t know I needed this until I had it. Really, I just felt absurdly inspired. This is an immaculate, *chefs kiss* concept and thank you so much for it, anon!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay.

I feel like it’d happen after a drunk make out in college and please don’t ask me why

The three of you dove straight into the alcohol that night in Richie and Bill’s dorm

Just you God knows what bed Bill was in at that moment

You and Richie had messed around while drunk before: make outs, kisses under childish truth or dare games…

You were pretty close, close enough to do stuff like that and laugh about it later

And it’s not like you’d complain

In fact, you liked it a whole lot

Richie was a great kisser and charming as hell

You felt your knees weakening every time he’d look at you all hooded eyes before kissing you, tasting like cherry vodka

And that night he noticed how Stan looked at you

Smiling softly while sipping on his beer, staring down at your lips every time you’d lean a bit closer to him

But while you and Richie were a mess, Stan was the mysterious, put-together friend

You had a major crush on him, yes. He was well-known for being amazing in bed, yes.

But he was your friend, he cared about you

Richie was the one who would help you kill someone

Stan was the one you’d call to help you to get away with it

You could never break boundaries and ruin what you had

But you couldn’t help it

You ended up kissing Stan, slowly and passionately, right before Richie gently pulled you to him by the back of your neck, your lips met and the cycle went on

The day after, you swore Richie would brag about it a lot

And Stan would regret it a lot

But the news are that: they didn’t

There was something in the air the next time you saw each other, but something… Good.

Some kind of electricity? Yeah

Richie’s soft spot for you seemed to grow larger than a canyon, while Stan was all smiles and fond eyes

And you found yourself mad about both of them

Only a couple days after, for your surprise, Stan was the one who brought it up through a whisper in the library

He didn’t use the term “poly”, but he looked you dead in the eye and asked what were your thoughts about going out with him and Richie

And Richie had a little smile while looking down at his essay drafts that assured you that they’ve talked about the matter before

You hesitated

You’ve heard about this kind of relationship. Had never thought you’d be someone to do it tho

“Aren’t you a bold girl, doll?” Richie’s eyes drifted away from his messy papers, up to yours. Something warmed up inside your chest

Your eyes drifted back to Stan, pen tapping slowly on the table, and yeah, it burned

You agreed

The three of you figured things out slowly

You never kept from anyone that you were a triad, or a throuple, you’d say that when people frowned to the first term

Most people were cool with it, but there were the ones that kept frowning. And those were the ones that you’d laugh about the most later

You felt yourself falling harder for both your boyfriends and their contrasting manners

At first, you had sex with each of them per time

But once y’all were sure, ready and settled to have it together…

It was a galaxy-brain Saturday afternoon

They turned you into a moaning mess

I’m gonna say a single word:  p r a i s e

And when Richie was inside you from behind, those strong hands on your hips, you thought maybe you wouldn’t be able to walk straight the next day

You were made sure of that the moment they switched positions and Stan made you lay down on your back so he could kiss every inch of your skin before having his way with you

It was overwhelming at first, but you made things work

That became some kind of moto, “make things work”

And it always did in the end. The three of you coordinated just perfectly

Richie and Stan were best friends and it just grew stronger

And they’d protect and love you, each of them in their different ways

There was no jealousy, nope.

Although sometimes Richie would go on “needy” mode just to mess around and join in when he found you cuddling together in Stan’s dorm

None of you knew much about future

But you knew you’d figure it all like you three did from the beginning

[just-jordie-things]

Hot Dream - Richie Tozier

word count: 5467 warnings: swearing, it’s not smutty but there’s like.. themes of boning ya feel summary: (y/n) has a really steamy dream... about the person she’d least expect.  And when Richie finds out it’s about him, he can’t help but tease her a bit ___

You hummed into Richie’s mouth as his hands traveled lower, just barely ghosting the curve of your ass, as his slender fingers slipped under the hem of your shirt, and tracing with a feather light touch to the dip of you back.

You shivered, and instantly arched your back, pressing your chest and hips further against him.  You could feel him smirking against your lips, and he broke the kiss.

He was an excellent kisser, it was like he could anticipate your every move, and sensually kiss you in sync.  His mouth was hot against yours, the perfect contrast to his freezing fingers on your skin.

“Are my hands cold, baby?” He asked in a teasing voice before gripping your hips.

You shivered again, but you giggled as you nodded your head.

“You want me to let go then-?”

“Don’t you fucking dare” You muttered before he could take his hands off of you.

He chuckled, and fully pressed his lips against yours.

Finally, he knew how to put that mouth to good use. ___

“Wow…” Beverly monotoned.  “That’s… actually really dirty”

“I know,” (y/n) grumbled, putting her face in her hands.  “It came out of fucking nowhere”

“I can’t believe you had a hot dream about Richie”

“Please don’t talk so loud,” (y/n) muttered, eyes wandering the library to make sure no one could hear them.  “Bev, I need your help here, what am I supposed to do?”

Her dream last night had been… really good.  Really good.  But she’d never even looked at Richie that way before, so to have such a… dirty dream about him was turning her inside out.  They’d been friends forever, and she’d always liked him, as a friend, or so she thought.  But sometime in high school he shot up like a tree, and the features of his face became a little more defined, his voice deepened, and the other girls at school were starting to notice Richie Tozier’s sudden… hotness.  (y/n) wasn’t immune to it, she could see clear as day that her friend was attractive.  But she’d never really had a second thought about it until last night.

The red head giggled, shaking her head.

“I don’t know, girl.  You’re the one with a trashmouth kink,” (y/n) glared at her, while she burst into laughter.  “Maybe you have a thing for being called baby? I mean, how many times in that story-”

“Okay, I’m done, you’re no help at all”

(y/n) gathered her things from the desk and shoved them all into her backpack haphazardly.

“Alright, I’ll be serious, don’t leave,” Beverly said quickly.  “Come on, maybe it’s simple”

“What do you mean?” (y/n) sighed dreadfully.

“Maybe you just have a crush on him” She said with a shrug. ___

It had been a few days since her dream, and since telling Beverly about it.  And (y/n) was on edge.

She barely hung out with the Losers all together, not when Richie was there, anyways.  She still studied with Bill, Stan, and Eddie, and she still spent most of her free time with Beverly, but if they were doing something that Richie would be at, she made up an excuse and hid at home.

There was no way she was going to risk seeing him.  She knew that she would inevitably embarrass herself, and then he would tease her, and she just couldn’t have that.

Not to mention, for the past week she’d been dodging him in class, in the halls, at lunch, it was starting to become noticeable.

Richie would wave at her while she was at her locker, and she would turn the other way and race to class.  He’d ask to partner up for a lab and she would lie and say she already had a partner, only to do the entire project by herself.  And when he walked into the cafe for lunch, she made up an excuse about needing to study, and ate lunch alone in the halls.

And Richie was starting to catch on to her peculiar behavior.

If he couldn’t track her down to tell him what was up, he’d just have to go to the next best thing.

“Beverly,” He gave the girl a cheesy grin, and leaned up against the locker next to hers all too casually.  “How ya doing sweetheart?”

“Whatever the hell it is you want, the answer’s no” The red head told him, not even looking in his direction as she grabbed her books.  

“I’m not up to anything,” Richie said, putting his hands up innocently.  “Promise”

“Right,” She mumbled back.  “What is it then?”

“You’re (y/n’s) best friend, right?” He asked, and she nodded her head, but gave him a confused look.

“Why?”

“Because, she’s been ditching me all week and I want you to tell me why”

“Sounds like that’s you business with her, not me,” Beverly said with a smirk.  “Just man up and ask her yourself”

“See, I would, but you must’ve missed the part where I said she won’t talk to me,” He said, voice thick with sarcasm.  “So could you help a buddy out and just spill? Because I know she’s told you why-”

“I’m not gonna gossip about my best girl to you,” Beverly told him, shutting her locker and narrowing her eyes at the boy.  “Why don’t you just figure it out and talk to her,” A knowing smirk tugged on her lips.  “I’m sure that’ll go over well”

Richie’s brows furrowed as she licked her lips and walked away.

What the fuck does that mean?

Maybe he’d have to try the next best thing. ___

“O-oh, yeah, she’s r-really ignoring you” Bill said with a chuckle.

He’d decided that if he couldn’t get the information out of who (y/n) spills to, he’d get it out of who Beverly spills to.  And sure enough, Bill knew what was up.

“I know that, what I wanna know is why the fuck she is!” Richie shouted, making heads turn as the other students in study hall glared at him for his loud mouth.

“More like w-what you d-didn’t do” Bill snickered, only furthering Richie’s confusion.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It m-means,” Bill leaned closer to speak quietly to his friend.  “(y/n) h-had a dream a-about you”

“So?” RIchie asked, still at full volume.  “That’s not that fuckin weird, and it’s definitely not an excuse to ignore me-”

“A hot dream” Bill clarified, voice void of his usual stutter.

For once, Richie was speechless, and Bill was laughing as he went back to doing his homework.

Well, that was certainly an interesting piece of news. ___

(y/n) had been minding her own business in the school’s library, copying the chem notes that she was lucky enough to get from Ben since she’d started skipping the class entirely.  It was just too risky.  It felt like Richie was always looking her way trying to get her attention, and it was distracting.

She didn’t like skipping classes, it made her uncomfortable, and she really didn’t want to get detention, but maybe detention was the lesser of two evils here.

Bill Denbrough wandered up to her, and took a seat across from her.

“Hey,” He greeted, with his always-so-pleasant smile.  She smiled back, silent as she went back to her notebook.  “S-so some of us are g-gonna go to the arcade.  F-for food and games a-and stuff”

“Sounds fun,” She hummed, setting down her pen.  “Who’s going?”

He knew she was going to ask that.  

“M-me, Bev, and M-Mike,” He said.  “M-maybe Eddie t-too.  He’s n-not sure yet.  B-but Ben had a l-lot of homework, St-Stan’s grounded and Richie said h-he wasn’t up f-for it”

“Okay,” (y/n) shrugged.  “When should I head over?”

“Seven-ish, w-we’re waiting until Mike’s done with his s-schoolwork”

(y/n) gave a half smile, feeling bad that Mike was always doing schoolwork.  Being homeschooled and having to work on his grandfather’s farm was hard on him.  But at least he could hang out with them tonight.

“Sounds good, see you then” ___

Bill Denbrough was a no-good-mother-fucking-liar and (y/n) had never wanted to hurt the sweet boy before but dear god she wanted to hit him with a car right now.

When she walked into the arcade, there, sat at the table, were her friends.  Bill, Beverly, and Mike, as promised.

And then there was Richie fucking Tozier.

He looked up at her as she approached the table, a smirk on his face.  As though even he knew he wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Finally! You made it!” Beverly said excitedly, and gestured for her to sit.

But both sides of the booth were full.  Bill and Bev on one side, and Richie and Mike on the other.

“I’ll grab a chair-”

“Nonsense, you can sit with me” Richie spoke, and the next thing she knew he was tugging her to sit next to him.

She was pressed up against him completely, and his arm was wrapped around behind her to keep her from falling off the seat.  Before she could object and go find a chair to pull up to the table, Mike went back to talking about something that happened on the farm.

(y/n) tried to listen, she did, but it was hard when Richie consumed every single one of her senses.  From the way he held her tightly against his side, to the smirk on his lips every time he looked down at her, and fuck he smelled good.

She kept herself occupied by stealing cheese fries off the large plate on the table, and doing her best to listen to what Mike was saying.

She made it about ten minutes before Richie was pestering her again.  His fingers were tapping on her shoulder.  It was just a little beat at first, and then it was a constant tap, and now he was rubbing circles.  She thought it was just him being his usual nonstop-moving self.

It was driving her crazy, and she shifted in her seat, trying to put a little distance between their bodies.  Not that it was possible without falling out of the booth.

Richie’s arm dropped to wrap around her waist, his hand firmly holding onto her.  He lowered his head so that when he murmured only she could hear.

“Something wrong, baby?”

He said it so casually, in a voice so low that a shiver went down her spine, and he smirked when he noticed.

(y/n’s) eyes shot up to look at him, taken aback from the pet name.  Richie never called her that.  It was always toots, or hotstuff, or sugar.  The only time she’d ever heard him call her baby was in….

Her eyes widened.

“N-no” She stammered back, and his smirk only widened.

“You sure? You look kind of pale”

She swallowed and nodded.  Her voice was untrustworthy.

In fact, she didn’t talk much the rest of the time they were eating.  And everyone noticed.

Except Mike, who wasn’t in on the gossip to know what was going on.  As far as he knew, Richie was just being his weird teasing self as usual.  Nothing to even question.

He didn’t notice Beverly’s knowing grin, and Bill’s eyes constantly wandering between the cuddled up pair.  Hell, Mike was sat right next to Richie, and still couldn’t see the drastic change in his  and (y/n’s) demeanor.

It made for an amusing evening for Richie Beverly and Bill.  (y/n)... not exactly.

When Bill suggested they play games, she practically leapt out of the seat, shoving Richie’s hand off of her and making her way to the arcade as quickly as possible.

“You’re stupid” Beverly said to Richie discreetly with a shake of her head.

“Y-yeah, what are y-you trying to d-do, seduce h-her?” Bill asked.

Richie just rolled his eyes, shaking his head and standing to follow after (y/n).

“Wait, what?” Mike asked, looking at the remaining two friends.  “Does Richie have a crush on (y/n)?”

Bill and Beverly burst into giggles, only furthering Mike’s confusion.

“Does everyone know something I don’t?”

“Yep,” Beverly said, popping her lips.  “Richie’s just messing with her cause she had a sexy dream about him”

Mike’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, and his jaw dropped open.  He looked more shocked than Richie had when he’d found out.  

“Are you serious?”

The others just laughed at him, and made their way off to play games, despite Mike’s begging for more answers.

Richie was talking to (y/n), as expected.  She was at the change machine, trying to get her dollar smooth enough that it would read it, while he leaned over her and tried to convince her to play Street Fighter with him.

“I have a high score to beat” She muttered back, intently focused on rubbing the dollar over the side of the machine to smooth out it’s wrinkles.

“Oh really?” He chuckled, and she nodded her head.  “I don’t believe you”

She glanced over at him, only intending to do so for a second, but his eyes were so concentrated on her that it was hard to look away once they met.  His brows were furrowed a bit, as if he were studying her.

“Fine” She mumbled, licking her lips which suddenly felt very dry, and finally slid her dollar into the machine.

Richie grinned, clapping his hands once, very loudly, enough that she jumped a bit.

“Excellent” He said, and leaned in to kiss her cheek, and squeeze her hip.

She practically whirled around when he pulled away, watching him confusedly.

“I’ll go save the machine, baby” He said, and headed off without another word.

She grabbed her change from the machine, and then stormed over to where Beverly and Mike were playing skee-ball.

“You told!” She hissed at the red head.

“What?”

“You told-” Her eyes wandered to Mike, but then shook her head as if to say fuck it, and continued on anyways.  “You told Richie that I had a dream about him!” Her hushed scream was embarrassed, but the blush on her face already told her that.

Mike began to laugh, while Beverly shook her head.

“No I didn’t.  I mean… I didn’t tell Richie…”

“What?” (y/n) squeaked.  “Who did you tell then?”

Beverly winced, and glanced over to Bill where he was playing Pac-Man.

“Bill?” (y/n) groaned.  “That’s just as fucking bad! He’s Richie’s best friend-”

“So?”

“So,” (y/n) stressed the word.  “He probably told Richie”

“So?” Bev repeated.  “Is that so bad?”

(y/n) blinked, and that was enough of an answer.

“Come on.  He’s been flirting with you all year, and he’s been all over you tonight.  You’re loving it”

“I’m not”

“Well I didn’t exactly see you pushing him away,” Beverly said with a smirk.  “(y/n/n), I know you, and I love you.  If you didn’t want his hands on you then you would’ve punched him in the face-”

“Okay okayokayokay” (y/n) shut her eyes and shook her head before Beverly could say anything else that would embarrass her.

“Just go bang one out” Mike said simply.

(y/n) sputtered, and she swore she could’ve died right there.  Right on the skee-ball ramp.  It was a pitiful way to go, sure, but at least she’d get out of this conversation.

Beverly was giggling, but only because it was strange to hear Mike say something so… vulgar.  

“Go on.  We’ll leave you alone,” She told her friend, pushing her slightly towards the Street Fighter machine.  “And have fun” She murmured in a low voice, giving (y/n) a wink before going back to skee-ball.

As (y/n) made her way back to Richie, she mulled over her options.

Beverly… wasn’t wrong.  She did like the attention, the touching, the pet name… she got a little lost in thought as she recalled the events of her dream and what happened at the table.

Richie did have a nice looking face… and… body…

“What took you so fucking long?”

Her brows drew together as she stared at the boy for a moment.

She wondered if he was as good of a kisser as she’d dreamed him up to be.  And she certainly would like to find out.  But she wasn’t 100% sure that he even knew about it.  He might’ve just been messing with her just for the sake of it.

“I was talking to Bev,” Her answer was delayed, and she shrugged a shoulder.  “You didn’t have to wait up for me”

“Had to make sure some punk kid wouldn’t hog the game,” Richie said, putting his quarter in.  “That one over there was eyeing it for a while”

(y/n) slid her quarter into the slot before glancing over to where he gestured.

“Richie,” She giggled, “That kid looks like he’s six years old-”

“Yeah, a six year old that’s gonna try and beat my score” He said, looking over at her seriously, except for the smile on his face.

He was very close, the game wasn’t that big so they were already standing side by side to play together.

She quickly and bashfully turned her head away, picking her character on the screen.

“Are you gonna keep staring at me or are you going to choose your fighter?” She asked, and it took every ounce of confidence in her to glance up at him, raising a brow.

He smirked at her, before turning his attention to the game, and choosing his fighter.

The first round was over fast, because (y/n) had started it early and beat him quicker than he’d ever been beaten before.  He called her a cheater, but she told him she was just practicing her trade.

“Your trade?” Richie repeated.  “This is my game”

“Maybe not anymore” She said playfully with a shrug, and landed a few punches on his character.  

Richie just laughed, and beat her in seconds.  He let out a victorious laugh, and she narrowed her eyes at him.  He returned the look, and then continued on to round three.

“Want to put a little wager on this one?” He asked, in a tone that made goosebumps crawl over her skin.  “Since we’re tied”

“What kind of wager?” She asked, and then cursed when her fighter got knocked down.

“Like… if you win, I’ll do your chem homework for a week” He suggested.

“And if you win?” She asked.

“Then you have to fess up to why you’ve been dodging me all week”

(y/n) thought for a moment, losing her focus on the game as she weighed her options.

“Do my homework for two weeks” She bargained.

“Fine,” Richie shrugged.  “You’ve got a deal, baby”

And there was that word again.  And made her stomach drop and her heart beat a little harder in her chest.

She had to win this round.  There was no way she could look Richie in the eyes and lie to him without him catching her, and there was definitely no way she could tell him about-

Oh no.

The machine made a little depressing tune as her character was knocked out, and Richie beat her.

Oh no.  No no no no no.

“I win” He said, like she didn’t already know, and give her a big grin.

She stared at the screen a minute longer, in denial that she’d really lost that fast.  And when it faded to black, and then to the Start Game page, she knew her fate was sealed.  When she looked up at Richie, he was still grinning, and tugged on her arm so she’d walk with him.

“Come on, I’ll beat you at skee-ball too”

She was grateful that he at least didn’t cash in on what she owed him right away.  But maybe if he already knew the reason, then he was smart enough not to ask her about it while they were still in public.

She tried to calm her nerves, even her breathing and ignore the rapid beating of her heart while they played their next game.  But she was so goddamn anxious that she was failing to get any of the balls into the rings, and they all slid up the ramp and into the pit.

“(y/n), I don’t mean to be cruel,” Richie spoke when he finished his game next to her, because he’d actually played it.  “But you really suck at this”

She laughed shyly, shaking her head and picking up her fourth skee-ball.  He could see her hands were shaking as she rolled it up the ramp and it plopped right into the pit again.

“Alright, this is pitiful, you’re breaking my heart” Richie chuckled, and walked over to help her out.

He came to stand right behind her, close enough that she could feel his chest against her back.

“Alright, first of all, take a deep breath,” He said into her ear.  His hands smoothed down her arms slowly, calming her a little bit.  “Why are you so tense, baby?” His voice dropped to a whisper.

She almost pushed him away, starting to feel too hot.  But she liked his closeness too much to shove him off, so she didn’t say anything.

“It’s not that hard,” Richie said, grabbing her next ball, and placing it in her hand.  “You’re just not swinging hard enough, and your release is too early”

He could see her swallow while he whispered the instructions into her ear.

“Got it?” He hummed, and she nodded.

One of his hands slid around her waist, the other taking her wrist and swinging with her so it would roll up the ramp, and into the ring.  300 points wasn’t all that much considering the high score was 10,000, but it was her first win, so she cheered quietly anyways.

Richie found it adorable, and then they went through the motions again, until she was out of balls, and actually had some points.

She turned around in his arms, a proud smile on her face that softened when she looked up at him.

As soon as her eyes met his, she lost any sense of what she was going to say, and she was just standing there, staring at him, silently.

(minus her heart, which she was so certain was going to burst out of her chest any minute now)

Her eyes wandered down to his lips, and she subconsciously set her hands on his arms for support.  He was still loosely holding her waist, and just watching her with amusement while she debated kissing him right now.

Richie could almost see the gears in her head turning as she thought about it.

And suddenly, she cleared her throat, and side stepped out of his hold.

“I’m gonna- um- go buy a uh… a soda.  Yeah, a soda” She coughed and walked off before he could have the chance to say anything.

She made a bee-line for the counter, grabbing Beverly by the arm on her way, and making her walk with her.

“Woah, slow down,” Beverly said, stalling in her steps so they could walk at a normal pace.  “Are you freaking out again?”

“Yes, I am clearly freaking out again!” (y/n) seethed.  “Help me Bev, I need your help” She added in a quieter whiny voice.

“I don’t understand why this is so hard for you,” Beverly said, rubbing her friend’s back as they walked up to the concessions counter.  “You like him, he’s clearly showing an interest in you, it’s not rocket science”

“But I- I don’t know if I like him like that” (y/n) whispered.

“You want to bone him?” Beverly asked, with no care for the volume of her voice.p

(y/n) shrugged as she thought about it, but ultimately nodded her head.

“Yeah I- I guess-”

“No, sweetheart, you already know,” Beverly said with a small giggle.  “And… you enjoy his company?”

“Yeah, I always have”

“And you think he’s nice? And funny?”

“Of course-”

“You like him” Beverly told her nonchalantly.

“But I-”

“If you think he’s genuinely funny, then honey, you’re already in deep for him,” Beverly said genuinely.  “Besides.  You check him out a lot.  I’ve seen it”

“I do not…” (y/n) tried to deny, but as she thought about it… “Oh my god I do…”

The red head laughed again while (y/n) paid for her drink in a trance.

“You do,” She confirmed.  “So stop stalling and just go get it fucking over with!” Beverly said, and took off to play games with Mike and Bill.

(y/n) sighed, being left alone at the counter.

Her eyes caught Richie’s, while he was talking to Bill.  He smirked at her for a minute before saying something to Bill, and walking up to her.

“Better?” He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as he eyed the drink in her hands.  “You took off real fast there”

“I- was really thirsty” She answered lamely.  But it amused Richie, because he let out a laugh and his smirk was back on his face.

“Right,” He hummed.  “So you weren’t just avoiding me again?”

She could feel her face and neck go hot as she shook her head.

“Well good,” His smirk turned into a smile.  “I don’t like when you do that”

Her brow furrowed, and her head tilted to the side.

“Richie, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make her embarrassment flare up.  “I was only…”

“What?” He mused, patiently but eagerly waiting for her answer.

Her mouth opened, but his eyes were staring so intensely into hers that she got nervous again and shook her head.

“Nothing,” She sighed helplessly.  “It’s nothing”

Richie hummed, and then he smacked his lips and looked around.

“I need a smoke,” He told her.  “When you’re ready, you know where I’ll be”

He raised his brows for a moment, and then left the arcade.

(y/n) sighed, watching him leave.

She couldn’t believe that this was so hard for her.  But the embarrassment kept weight down on her shoulders and confusing her.  She didn’t know what she wanted to do.

What she did know, was that she really wanted Richie.

So she gathered what little courage she had, and followed him outside.

The smoking area was really just an alley between the arcade and the bar, with a large trash can topped with an ashtray.  At least her and Richie were the only ones out there, so she didn’t have to make a fool of herself in front of an audience.

Richie had just pulled out his cigarette, and almost lit it when she came out the door.  He was surprised she’d come so soon, or at all really.  He thought maybe she’d sneak out and go home, and avoid him the rest of their lives, but here she was.

“I was embarrassed,” She announced, and took a deep breath right away.  “That’s why I was avoiding you, I’m sorry”

Richie smirked, and stuck his cigarette back into the box.

“Apology accepted,” He told her, and walked up to her, until her back hit the brick wall of the bar next door.  

Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned ever so closer, towering over her with that dumb smirk still on his lips.  Her eyes flickered between his quickly.

“Wh-what’re you doing?” She stammered.

“Just waiting for you to tell me the rest, baby,” Richie said expectantly.  “You know, the good parts”

“The good parts?” She repeated, breathless from her shallow breathing.

“Yeah,” He said.  “The part about you having a dream about me, you know, the one that sounded really hot?”

“I- I don’t-”

“Bill already told me,” Richie said before she could make an excuse to get out of it.  “So which is it, was I so good that you were too nervous to look at me, or were you just scared that it wouldn’t live up to your expectations?”

“Richie,” (y/n) breathed, and her eyes fell shut so that she didn’t have to look at his taunting face anymore.  “I-”

“Listen,” He murmured, and leaned in closer until his lips brushed the shell of her ear.  “I promise I won’t disappoint, baby,”

She let out a sigh, despite trying to hold it back.

“You’ve got a bit of a kink for that don’t you?” He teased, pulling back just enough to look at her.  She was biting down on her lip, and he could see her chest moving with every deep breath she took.  “That’s kinda hot”

One of his hands held tightly onto her waist, while the other trailed up her arm, over her shoulder, and then slid behind her neck.

“Richie-” She mumbled, her nerves choking her up again.

“Tell me to stop,” He said softly, in the sweetest tone of voice she’d heard from him all night.  “And I will”

She swallowed thickly, and then gently shook her head.

“Please don’t” She whispered back, a small smile playing on her lips.

And that was all he needed to hear before crashing his lips down against hers so hard that she was shoved back into the wall.

(y/n) wasted no time in throwing her arms around his neck to pull him closer, hungrily kissing him back, like it was the end of the world and this was her only chance.  Her hands cupped his face, and then dove into his hair, and then held tightly to his shoulders- she couldn’t stop touching him.

This was hardly her first time making out with someone- but it was certainly the first time where she felt like she just couldn’t get enough.

Without warning, his hands reached down to wrap under her thighs, and without breaking their lips he managed to lift her right up and shove her right into the wall again.  She gasped at the impact, and Richie only took it as an invitation to shove his tongue haphazardly into her mouth.

They slowed down at their tongues tangled and he leisurely explored her mouth, and then did it again, as though mapping it to memory.

When his lips trailed along her jaw, leaving short wet kisses over every inch of skin he passed, (y/n’s) eyes fluttered open, looking up at the stars while he was busy marking her neck.  Sucking and nipping at her sensitive skin and eliciting delightful little whimpers.

He smirked against her neck, and pulled away to look at her.

She was a mess, a hot mess if he did say so himself.  Her hair in tangles and pushed all over the place, her lips swollen and eyes half lidded with lust as she looked back at him.

He set her down, but still held tightly to her hips so her legs wouldn’t buckle underneath her.  She staggered only for a moment before he caught her balance.

“Why’d you stop?” She mumbled, already pulling his lips towards hers.

He had to chuckle at her desperation, but he only gave her a short kiss.

“I had to look at you,” He told her when he pulled back much too soon for her liking.  “Baby” He added, almost as an afterthought.

“You’re going to have to stop calling me that in front of our friends” She told him seriously, but her volume was low, almost a whisper.

“Why’s that?” Richie asked playfully, pushing her strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear.

“Because I’m gonna want to kiss your face everytime you do it”

He smirked at her, and she reached up to kiss him quickly.

“Why not, then?” He mused, and she pulled back, brow furrowing.

“Because…” She said slowly.  “I don’t think our friends would like that we’re… um…” She licked her lips as she tried to find the right words.

“You don’t think our friends would like you to be my girlfriend?”

“G-girlfriend?” (y/n) choked on the word, and Richie laughed softly.

She hadn’t thought that this was heading that way at all.

“Y-you want me to be your girlfriend?” She asked quietly.  “You don’t just wanna… like… mess around?”

“I don’t see why we can’t do both, that sounds pretty fucking good to me,” Richie said with a lazy sort of grin.  “What do you think?”

She smiled back at him, nodding excitedly as her hands reached up to lay across his cheekbones.

“Yeah?” He asked, and she kept nodding.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good,” She hummed.  “Really good” She added before pulling him in and kissing him patiently.

“So,” Richie sighed, “What else happened in this dream of yours?”

It was finally her turn to smirk at him.

___

xoxo ~ jordie

[passionate-reply]

Stan Ridgway is best remembered as the guy from Wall of Voodoo, and Wall of Voodoo are best remembered as the guys from “Mexican Radio.” But there’s a whole lot more to Ridgway’s solo career, which began with 1986′s The Big Heat--Americana, epic narratives, and a whole lot of digital synth. (Transcript below the break!)

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, we’ll be looking at an often overlooked solo debut: Stan Ridgway’s The Big Heat, first released in 1986.

Stan Ridgway is best remembered as the original frontman of Wall of Voodoo, and Wall of Voodoo, in turn, are best remembered for the single “Mexican Radio,” a landmark bit of New Wave eclecticism that became an unlikely hit thanks in large part to heavy rotation on MTV. That said, like a lot of ostensible “one-hit wonders,” the span of Ridgway’s artistic career is quite a bit more varied and more interesting than this solitary recording might suggest. While I don’t believe that “Mexican Radio” is simply a novelty song that can easily be dismissed, I will set it aside for the time being, because any attempt to cover the rest of Stan Ridgway’s work is probably better off without worrying about it. Instead, let’s take a look at his first bona fide solo release: the 1983 single, “Don’t Box Me In.”

Music: “Don’t Box Me In”

“Don’t Box Me In” was a collaboration between Ridgway and percussionist Stewart Copeland, then known chiefly for his work with the group The Police. While Copeland is now fairly well known for his work composing scores for cinema and video games, this was one of his first forays into that field: the soundtrack to Francis Ford Coppola’s film adaptation of Rumble Fish. Based on a novel by S. E. Hinton, most famous for The Outsiders, Rumble Fish was actually a tremendous flop for Coppola, perceived to be a bit too avant-garde for its own good, and Copeland’s percussion-led score for the film, experimental in its own right, certainly didn’t help that perception. Despite all of this, “Don’t Box Me In” managed to do fairly well for itself as a single, achieving substantial alternative radio play purely on its own merits. And merits it has, weaving together the experience of a fish trapped in a tiny bowl with a more universalized sense of human ennui, being overlooked and underestimated by everyone around you. Not to be underestimated himself, Ridgway has not only written these evocative lyrics, but delivers them in a manner that shows a complexity beyond his semi-affected Western twang, conveying fragility and uncertainty alongside indignation and determinedness. This is also the version of Stan Ridgway whom we meet when we listen to The Big Heat.

Music: “Camouflage”

Despite being the very last single released from The Big Heat, the eerie war yarn “Camouflage” would go on to be the most successful track from the album, and Ridgway’s best-known hit as a solo artist. Perhaps surprisingly, the single was largely snubbed in the charts of Ridgway’s native USA, becoming a much bigger hit throughout Europe. While playing the harmonica and sporting a bolo tie, Ridgway seems to almost play the character of the quintessential American, and perhaps it’s that quality that’s caused this apparent rift. Is it necessary to analyze his art through the lens of exoticism in order to find it appealing?

It’s a hard question for me to answer, personally--I might be from the US myself, but at the same time, the vast majority of the music I listen to is European, as a natural consequence of being chiefly a devotee of electronic music. There is still a sort of novelty factor I find in Ridgway’s work. I remain in awe of the fact that a musical genius exists who uses a hard R, and says “huh?” instead of “pardon me?” But, of course, I am amazed by this moreso because it makes me feel “represented,” for once, in a musical tradition which is important to me. If people from Britain’s crumbling industrial centers like Sheffield and Manchester have made great electronic music, then surely synthesisers can also tell the stories of the American Rust Belt, where I come from? For that, we’ll have to step away from the sort of typified narrative of “Camouflage,” and take a listen to the album’s title track.

Music: “The Big Heat”

“Camouflage” told us a tale as old as time, in which a benevolent ghost offers one last act of aid to a vulnerable human being. The album’s title track, on the other hand, alludes to a particularly 20th Century form of storytelling: the detective drama and film noir, as hinted at by its allusion to the classic Fritz Lang film of the same title. Ridgway assumes the perspective of the hardboiled detective, hot on the trail of some mysterious quarry, and it is the innocent passers-by he seeks information from who respond with the song’s banal refrain: “Everybody wants another piece of pie today.” For as much as people have mocked Ridgway’s singing style over the years, you’ve got to appreciate his lilting delivery of this line here in the first verse, where it comes from the mouth of a female character.

It’s easy, of course, to see such apparent non sequitur lyrics in Ridgway’s oeuvre as merely ridiculous, as many quickly do with the likes of “Mexican Radio,” but the more you listen to him, the more his style begins to make sense. The instinct to find humour in things is deeply connected to the feeling of being surprised, and encountering the unexpected. Ridgway happens to be all about delivering the unexpected, and it’s precisely the surface-level absurdities and surprises his lyricism offers that make us think more deeply about the stories he tells. The title track of The Big Heat isn’t about pie, but rather the fact that everybody its characters encounter appears to be grasping for more out of life, and hungry for something else. It’s what drives criminals to transgress against the law, and it’s also, perhaps, what drives the detective to devote himself to the pursuit of the abstract principle of “justice.” To both the villain and the hero of this story, the civilians they brush past are little more than means to an end, despite their display of greater wisdom and insight into these issues than anyone else. Ridgway excels at conveying this sort of saintly everymannishness, and does so with similar gusto on the track “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)”.

Music: “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)”

“Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” was actually not released as a single, which is perhaps surprising given its hooky quality and sprightly synth backdrop. While “Camouflage” is assembled chiefly from traditional instruments, with only a subtle intrusion of Yamaha DX-7 to remind you that it came out in 1986, many of the other tracks, like this one and the title track, are willing to double down on electronic influences, and ride the wave of “peak synth-pop” that was easily cresting by the mid-1980s. That aside, the central theme of “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” is the quotidian avariciousness one encounters among ordinary folk, and the psychological effects of living in a “mean world.” While the text mostly revolves around the idea of living in fear, and the paranoia of knowing that “everything changes hands when it hits the ground,” it reaches a climax by showing us an actual situation where this occurs: the pathetic figure of a filthy old man who finds a small bill in the road, and, in a fit of folk superstitiousness, is said to “thank the street.” The song’s tension lives between the bustle of the jealous ones, and the reality of life for those desperate enough to pick up money from the street. Like many of Ridgway’s greatest works, this track simultaneously portrays the mentality of the common man in a direct and serious manner, but also opens up room for it to be criticized. This everyman bystander persona is assumed more directly in the track “Drive, She Said.”

Music: “Drive, She Said”

While the album’s more electronic elements are its main draw, in my eyes, there are still a number of tracks that remain dominated by traditional instruments, “Drive, She Said” being a prime example of them. While narratives are always at the center of Ridgway’s work, “Drive, She Said” moves us away from omniscient narration like that of “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” and back into the mind of a specific and individualized narrator--in this case, a cab driver who somewhat reluctantly transports a bank robber, with whom he might also be falling in love. While it doesn’t have the supernatural implications of “Camouflage,” the two stories do seem to have much in common: an ordinary person meets someone who quickly reveals their extraordinary nature, and despite the brevity of their encounter, the protagonist is deeply affected, and perhaps changed, by the events. Much as “Pick It Up (And Put It In Your Pocket)” sees fit to shatter its apparent main premise, with an interlude that shifts the tempo of the music as well as introduces the contrasting figure of the old beggar, “Drive, She Said” introduces an interlude of its own: the driver’s reverie, in which he runs away with his enigmatic passenger. As in many of Ridgway’s tales, we must consider both the beauty of a wonderful dream, and its sheer impossibility.

On the cover of The Big Heat, we see a portrait of Stan Ridgway looking glum, which is not itself terribly unusual for an album cover, though the fact that he’s behind a metal fence certainly is. The main focus of the image seems to be Ridgway’s environment, a bleak industrial setting full of towering machinery, and no other traces of human beings. The absence of other figures in this scene draws attention to the scale of the machines, as well as the fact that in many parts of the US, including my own, it’s very common to see equipment like this that’s fallen into disuse and disrepair. Much as ruined aqueducts and palaces mark the places in Europe where the Roman Empire had once held fast, these sorts of derelict manufacturing facilities are a common sight in America, and serve as reminders of the squandered “American Century.” While many album covers have shown me places I like to imagine myself visiting, I don’t have to imagine what being here might be like, having grown up in a place whose pride left soon after the steel industry did. It strikes me as exactly the kind of setting that Ridgway’s narratives ought to take place in: dirty, simple, well-intentioned, doomed, and all-American.

Ridgway’s follow-up to The Big Heat would be 1989’s *Mosquitos,* an album that largely abandons the many synthesiser-driven compositions found in his earlier work. It’s hard to fault him for this decision, given how much the mainstream appeared to be souring on synth-pop and electronic rock by the end of the decade, but it does mean that this album offers little I’d want to listen to recreationally. That is, with the exception of its third and final single, “Goin’ Southbound,” a practically epic drama of small-town drug smugglers trying to survive, and one that fires on all cylinders when it comes to fiddles dueling with digital synths. This track feels like it would fit right in on The Big Heat, so if you’ve enjoyed this album, don’t miss it.

Music: “Goin’ Southbound”

My favourite track on The Big Heat is “Salesman,” which, to my surprise, received a small advance promo release without ever becoming a true single. The titular character, an unctuous but insecure traveling salesman, is as rich a narrating persona as any of the many in Ridgway’s catalogue, and I love the way the refrain just feels like a song you might make up while idly doing something else, silly and yet primal at the same time. It captures the feeling of living “on the edge of the ball,” enjoying the freedom of spontaneity, but also, perhaps, suffering for its enforced sloppiness. That’s everything for today, thanks for listening!

Music: “Salesman”