#i like 2 and hate 2 but i won't say which for fear of being cancelled 😔😂
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pngblog · 3 days ago
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Perhaps some morally grey PNGs? A mix of evil and not.
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bisaster-energy · 1 year ago
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i do get making cas essentially human i understand that he can adjust to it and actually enjoy life like that. but um. i just think he can be just as fulfilled as a full blown angel
#human cas fics fuck severely they go hard#but i cant really vibe with cas like. just ''being human'' endgame#cos we already know no matter if he can fly no matter if he has grace he won't BE human that's an entirely different species ya dig#if the show was normal about non-human creatures being people as much as humans are#i probably wouldn't mind as much? but the show is very very sucky about that so#they scratch the surface on nonhumans being capable of like. fear and hopelessness and love.#and instead of really having salmondean explore this they just. forget about it and maybe the cycle restarts in another motw ep#ik it probably aligns with the overall copification of those 2 and it makes me so full of malice...#what im saying is cas is decidedly other. a creature an incredibly powerful one.#and i think it really shows that him not being human separates him from them. he's not as trusted#even after 12 years :/ it's kinda easy to oust him cos he keeps relationships with heaven.#which brings me to the whole ''oh fuck angels we hate angels oh but um not you cas!!'' thing like bro he's still an angel#you pick which monsters u find worthy of redemption but never fully accept them for what they are and discard em pretty easily#so yeah i think having cas be graceless is interesting and even makes sense but ig it just seems too easy on the winchesters#they never had to really accept cas as a full powered angel cos honestly they way they remember it#cas at full power wings in tact was just an asshole and he was barely ever back to that: comfortable in his prime after like s7 wtv#once it's all over and done with i think it'd be cool if cas could have all his wings and power in tact and just be at peace like that#he's an angel but he doesn't have to be a soldier anymore he can quite literally do anything now whole point of free will#and yeah he can choose to be graceless sure but he can never be human anyway. physically at his core he's something Else and i think#dean should have to like. live with that tbh#they never have to REALLY tackle the ''monsters are people too'' aspect and angel cas endgame would prove that regardless#he IS family. they dont NEED him to be an angel to USE him but regardless he is what he is and#they are fine with him not being human because he's family and they love him who cares what you are.#cos in cas' mind he needs his power to be useful but also he cannot truly be part of them while he is noticeably Other due to their bias#this is true for other characters obviously jack rowena crowley#sam's whole thing with benny 💀#but this is a cas post and i haven't watched the show in years so this isn't like. a cited essay lmao just ramblings#in short i just want cas to be fully angel while not feeling he HAS to be for others' sake and have the brothers be genuinely cool with it#cas my best friend cas#cas studies
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tame-the-lion-writes · 2 months ago
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Okay, so here I go. (I’m sorry if words are misspelled or if I used the wrong words; I’m dyslexic but thank goodness for autocorrect. Sometimes it corrects it for me and at others it puts a completely different word then what I meant; so fair warning.)
So, I was wondering if it will be Ghost that cat reader opens up to about her fear of deep water. It was pretty obvious that she has trauma from it from that one time Ghost tried to give her a bath after she was done for the day doing her “mouse killing” duty; it is most likely a deep fear developed from trauma from being held under by an abusive old owner/partner.
Like yes, it’s obvious she irritates Ghost out of “spite” (and probably does it for shits & giggles on her end) but HE was the one she clung onto when it was made clear of her fear of deep water. She may have been terrified but she felt safe enough to hold onto him & allowed him to comfort her during that event; she cuddled herself under his head and tapped her head against his chest which are signs of trust for a cat.
Yes, she’s definitely more friendly & open to Gaz (first to earn that with her), Soap (second) and Price (third to earn the right to be comfortable with her) but what if it actually came down to core issues/serious concerns it’s actually Ghost she goes to. Mostly because she can tell that although they annoyed each other (not really but more just for loving fun) that they DO understand each other on a level that the others just can’t.
The other three are there for basically nap time together, to play with and being cute with; but it is only with him will she be THAT open with serious things/issues. For her, he becomes her special & only companion for those kinds of matters. (Which once he realizes that she views ONLY him as special/worthy enough to be open with stuff does he feel honored instead of annoyed about it. After all he was trying to make a connection with her and now he has a strong one that only he has access to; she won’t open up about serious stuff with the others in a way that she will only do with him.)
Basically is will be the bases/beginning for her to start accepting him as a comfort source/companion. Of course, she’ll still be a little brat/little shit towards him; but it will be out of good fun/love intentions behind it, no malice or hatred behind her annoyance towards him anymore.
Hope this helps you come up with an idea. ☺️
Oh, babe, you got my vision perfectly LMAO. (And no worries about your dyslexia, I understood you perfectly!)
CW: mentions of past abuse (and technically attempted murder)
I won't go so far as to say that she would never go to the other boys, but yes, she has an extra special bond w/ Ghost because they both understand what it's like to survive abuse--especially abuse at the hands of someone they should've been able to trust. It's also very much an "I hate you" relationship in that they only "hate" each other because of that similarity/understanding. We tend to be more critical towards people like us because of how we perceive ourselves; we are our best critics, after all.
In short, "canonically," reader got tossed over a bridge into a river when her past owner tried to get rid of her. Something along the lines of--she became too big of a burden. Being a birthday/Christmas gift, they didn't expect the true responsibility of raising a pet. The reason doesn't really matter, though; either way, she scratched her way out of the soggy cardboard box and dragged herself to shore, then made her way to the old abandoned farm nearby. Hence why she doesn't like deep water--especially not when someone is carrying her towards it.
But next time Ghost tries to clean her, he's learned his lesson. Fills a small tub just 2-3 inches high, and instead of casually tossing her in, is surprisingly patient as he places her back paws in first--letting her wade a few seconds before plopping her front feet in. She's still whiny, of course, used to washing herself, but with Ghost's help, he get's the places she can't reach. Not to mention that the shampoo he's using smells pretty good.
"Not so mean when your buttons ain't pushed, huh?" he sighs, only to add-- "Sorry 'bout last time. Should've respected your boundaries."
You're quiet for a little before bumping your head into his hand, as if in acceptance of his apology.
"'Sides, you've got your reasons," he goes on, moving to scratch under your chin as well. "And fear ain't your fault."
You meow in understanding, then blink slow.
"Ha--" He copies the blink back. "Think this is the nicest you've been to me."
The rest of bath time is quiet, save for the sound of you shuffling around in the tub in response to Ghost's ministrations. But just as he finishes rinsing you clean of suds, Gaz comes around the corner, ready to kick off his boots after a long day.
"See you're gettin' close with the kit there," he smiles, dusting his hands off in mid-air. And while you half-expect Ghost to respond with acceptance, instead, he mutters--
"What else am I supposed to do? She stinks."
Well, there goes the moment.
You swipe at his hand with a hiss, only to be met with his scowl and a towel that swallows you whole.
When you do eventually tell him--the reason for your fear, that is--it's after another bath, and when you're snuggled close under the weight of his arm. His hand cups the back of your neck, callouses almost silky from how he handles you oh-so gently. A tempered practice he's forced himself to learn since you met. Because though kindness doesn't come naturally to him, it doesn't unnerve you; sometimes you wonder if kindness, as a choice, is better.
"You know I--" he clears his throat-- "we'd never. Right?" Simon whispers, his voice as deep as the purr that eventually rumbles through your chest.
Your fingers dance through the fine blonde of his hair, illuminated only by thin streaks of moonlight filtering through the blinds. Then you draw your palms down, so instead, you're holding the sides of his face, the scars and marks of his beautifully imperfect skin like stories untold beneath your thumb. And you press your nose to his.
"I know."
(He may or may not run into your former owner eventually, and he may or may not threaten to kill him or worse. But that's a story for another day :D)
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awearywritersworld · 9 months ago
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the man who embraced wickedness and the woman he used to know
sukuna x reader summary: sukuna is reunited with the only person who ever showed him kindness w/c: 1.25k tags/warnings: heian era!sukuna. angst to fluff. fem!reader. me trying my best to channel an 1800s romance novelist a/n: part 2 to the boy spurned as evil and the girl of his youth. i am once again asking that people check out the artwork by @demonzaemon that inspired these two fics. they also made some artwork inspired by part one, which makes me scream and cry and yell bc it's so wonderful. masterlist
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it isn't until nearly two decades after your last encounter that sukuna finally musters the courage to return to the riverside. as he listens to the rush of the water, he hates the way it makes him feel— like the scared, powerless boy he once was.
he won't get too close. instead he stands at the edge of the forest, as if he can hide from his past among the trees.
he decides he must be dreaming when he spots a woman approaching the river, because even though he can see little more than her silhouette, he has no doubt that it's you.
he'd know you anywhere, in this life and the next.
he has no idea how long he stands watching you before he finally gathers the nerve to take a step in your direction.
you look over your shoulder and meet his eye once he's only a few yards away.
the expression that crosses your features is not unlike the one you wore when you first saw him— an earnest sort of wonder.
"it's you," you state as if you've been waiting on him to appear.
"you... remember me?"
"how could i forget?"
you approach him without fear or apprehension, and having you so close after all this time makes his heart race uncomfortably in his chest.
"are you well?" he questions, his eyes trailing down your body before flicking back up to yours. "you look it."
a smile tugs at the corner of your mouth, your gaze falling to the ground bashfully. you rock on the heels of your feet before answering.
"i am well enough... and what of you?"
he's not sure that he's being entirely truthful when he replies, "i can say the same, i suppose."
"it pleases me to hear that you have not been suffering all this time. i must admit, i find that my thoughts still wander to you with remarkable frequency."
you laugh lightly at your own confession, fearing he may regard you as strange for it. on the other hand, he's thinking about how the sound of your laughter is the most beautiful thing he's heard since... well, since he last heard it.
"it is not rare for you to occupy the space of my own mind," he returns honestly.
you grab one of his hands, turning his palm up and running your thumb over the faint scar you find there. he hates the way it makes your face fall.
"i am sorry about that night, for what my father did to you. it was my fault for falling asleep—"
"don't," he stops you. "the fault lies only with me. i shouldn't have let him steal you away. i shouldn't have been so utterly weak—"
it's your turn to interrupt him and you press the pads of your fingers to his mouth to keep him from saying anything more.
"that is the farthest thing from the truth. you didn't deserve that. you deserved not one bit of the cruelty the village mercilessly showed you. you were only a boy, sukuna."
when your fingers fall from his lips, he doesn't try to speak. he doesn't trust that his voice won't betray him.
he can't remember the last time he heard his name spoken so familiarly, so warmly. it makes his throat feel tight.
the silence gives you an opportunity to take in the ways in which he's changed over the years.
his kimono and haori are pristine, a far cry from the rags he used to wear.
his frame is more than double the size of your own, and you know he's no longer living on scraps.
he stands tall, his posture straight and self assured, not that of someone who is feeble and frightened.
but you're not referring to any of those things when you point out, "you're different now."
and of course you're right, he just doesn't know how to tell you that the boy you used to spend your days with is gone. that the blood on his hands is no longer his own. that the person standing before you is nothing more than the monster the villagers always claimed him to be.
so he just nods in agreement and your eyes sparkle as you regard him with curiosity.
"i loved you, you know," you tell him sincerely.
your confession is painful to hear, because it reminds him of everything he lost that night.
"i could love you now, too." you reach up and caress his cheek, trying desperately to read the expression he's wearing. "if you'll let me."
for a moment, you think he might agree to your offer, but your hope is short lived.
"this... this was a mistake."
he turns to leave, intending to retreat to the shadows of the forest, but a small hand wraps around his wrist.
"no." your tone is forceful.
if only you knew what happens to most people who dare speak that word in his presence.
he doesn't say anything, so you add, "the only mistake you've made is waiting so long to come back to me."
he's surprised upon seeing the frustrated tears that well up in your eyes.
"we are but strangers to one another." his reminder stings and it shows plainly on your face. "and that is for the best, i assure you. you don't want to know me— to know the things i've done."
"i care not what you've done!" your voice is so loud, it sends a flock of birds fleeing from a nearby tree. "i care not what horrors loneliness may have driven you toward, because when we belonged to one another you were good. you were kind. you were—"
"stop." each of your words is like a knife in his chest, and his voice cracks from the ache of it.
"i will not! if your only intention was to reject me, why come here at all?"
"i don't know—"
"precisely! you want me, just as i want you. my devotion is yours, sukuna! there is no reason for you to reject that which i willingly give—"
"enough!" he barks at you, grabbing you roughly by the shoulders. you don't shy away from him, even in spite of the way his fingers dig into your flesh and his nose flares angrily.
"you believe that because you showed me a sliver of kindness when we were children that i should throw myself at your feet? your devotion means nothing to me! it does little more than inspire my disgust!"
the words taste like poison on his tongue, but he needs you to believe them.
he needs to believe them himself.
he pushes you away, and while it's not harshly enough to send your body flying to the grass, it does make you stumble backwards.
ire burns in your eyes and he thinks he's succeeded in his endeavor, but once he turns to leave, you're grabbing his wrist again and launching yourself against him.
your hands find his face and you pull his lips to yours despairingly. your bodies move together as if you've spent a lifetime in one another's arms.
then, he's pulling away from you. he's calling you a pathetic fool. he's looking at you with animosity.
but just as quickly, his lips find yours again and he grabs at the fabric of your kimono in an attempt to bring your body closer to his own.
you swear his hands tremble as they find a home on the curve of your hips.
once your lips part, he holds your gaze for what feels like an eternity.
resignation seems to dance across his features, but there's something else there too. desire? hope? longing?
you really can't say for certain.
"i am yours, and you are mine."
you're not sure if it's a question or a statement, so you offer him a slight nod of your head. "today and always."
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nam-the-nacho · 11 days ago
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Mit2uba's Trauma: An Analogy
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Tw: I will be discussing the abuse Mitsuba has suffered from his environment, nothing that isn't in the manga, but I want to give a heads up. Additionally, I'm fortunate to have not gone though any severe traumatic experience myself, and am instead using my general knowledge, meaning if anything is incorrect here, please point it out!
(Also manga spoilers obviously)
I'm not pretending this hasn't ever been discussed, however I have yet to see an analogy of the consequences of Mitsuba's creation and (practically nonexistent) upbringing.
I'm going to divide this post into sections, but they won't really be organized, maybe chapters is a better definition. This thing is l o n g, so without further ado:
1: Mitsuba being paralleled to a puppet:
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This is done quite often, although not in the same ways. Besides the psychological aspects of being Tsukasa's "puppet", as in being forced to do as he says and overall being under his control, but there are physical correlations too.
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Tsukasa referring to Mitsuba as a "Thing"
Mitsuba lets Tsukasa hold him. This is much more then a surface-level fact considering Mitsuba usually rejects contact/uses it as an excuse to blame others. This is easily explained by "Mitsuba is simply scared of Tsukasa, he can't tell him no", except Mitsuba doesn't look scared when being held, he just looks, expressionless.
More then that, he completely trusts Tsukasa with his body weight, leaning into his touch and allowing himself to be comforted by it. This obviously occasionally backfires horribly
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While Mitsuba being punched is framed in a humorous manner, the implications and weight of it are very heavy. It's all fun and games until you remember this is how Mitsuba is being raised, and it's all he's ever known. If Mitsuba doesn't want to do what Tsukasa tells him too, he gets punched. If he talks back, he gets kicked out of the broadcasting room (we'll get back to this later). If he asks to be Tsukasa's friend, he gets fireworks shoved down his mouth.
And the results of this... well:
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This one in particular is interesting to me:
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"It's just Mitsuba being surprised because Kou suddenly raised his voice". But that's not what's being illustrated. Upon hearing "brace yourself" even from someone like Kou, who wasn't planning on actively trying to hurt Mitsuba, he literally stiffens, pales, and begins to tremble and sweat, dropping the piece of chalk he was holding (those things break way to easily, yk he was serious). It's not shock or surprise being drawn, it's just genuine fear.
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This could very well be me overthinking, but Mitsuba falls in what is almost a doll-like manner, arms and legs completely stiff.
2: Social rejection and trivial treatment:
The Mitsuba chapter (ch. 40) was worse then I remembered.
Mitsuba runs away from the broadcasting room in search of a better, safer place to stay. Only to understand he has none.
What's worse is that these are the characters we see being far kinder to the rest of the cast. We see Yako, Hanako and weirdo super-natural teacher together in his living quarters, watching tv together, but when Mitsuba approaches them...
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(Tsuchigomori eventually does stay with him, but his opinion of him doesn't really change.)
"This guy's a pain, I'm out of here"
Tsuchigomori doesn't know Mitsuba, the only time we see them meet was when Tsuchigomori refers to him as emergency rations (above), and when he answered Mitsuba who asked him a question (answer starting with "You seriously don't know?" (YES SIR HOW WOULD HE KNOW HE'S LIKE ONE MONTH OLD)).
He probably heard he's a prankster from Hanako, which is why he wants nothing to do with him.
The point is despite Mitsuba needing to run from the closest thing he considers a "home", not a single supernatural actually understands his situation. Hanako borderline hates him, Nene barley understands he's a different Mitsuba, and Kou tends to accidently frame it as Mitsuba's CHOICE to stay with Tsukasa in the broadcasting room.
This is sadly something that can happen in reality, children trying to escape their less-desirable homes can often find themselves, sickeningly, returning after not finding somewhere or someone to take them seriously.
The most deranged part of this is that as a result of nobody properly digesting that he needs help, Mitsuba himself frequently convinces himself that everything is normal.
The implication that every time Mitsuba fights with Tsukasa he needs to just fend for himself until enough time has passed for Tsukasa to forget is sad. He's an outcast between the wonders for replacing the old No.3, despite his only other choice being death, which they don't know.
Sakura is probably the closest thing Mitsuba has to family, being in a similar situation to him, but it's incorrect to say she truly deeply cares about him. She's fond of Mitsuba, but never goes out of her way to help him when Tsukasa hurts him, and seems to have put her personal safety and goals as a higher priority then him (this isn't Sakura slander, I love my queen).
Natsuhiko treats him like a pet more then a human, and sometimes hits on him, which is just gross. Despite this Mitsuba genuinely appreciates him and sees him as an older brother. It's cruel to see this one-sided ordeal.
We don't actually know Mitsuba's true opinion of Tsukasa. In an almost realistic manner, his opinion is constantly contradictory. Mitsuba is scared of Tsukasa, but at the same time he only feels 'safe' when he's around.
Also, contrary to Sousuke, Mitsuba is more scared of Tsukasa then thunder, which could either mean that Sousuke's phobia of thunder was memory-correlated, or that Mitsuba is SO scared of Tsukasa that thunder is nothing in comparison.
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Mitsuba freezing after hearing Tsukasa's voice
vs:
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We know Mitsuba is aware that Tsukasa is not treating him okay, but by the time we learn this (pp arc), Mitsuba has half convinced himself that Tsukasa is doing everything he's doing to help him, and that "nobody else can help him anyways". Genuinely Mitsuba is one of the most subtle-yet-obvious victims portrayed in media I've even seen.
3: Ok-yeah-that's-not-okay moments
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Do I really need to add anything.
I will anyways. Mitsuba is a dramatic by nature, unrelated to any of the emotional damage he's suffered. The fact that Tsukasa can make him stop crying just by demanding it really shows how bad he messed up Mitsuba. The ability to stop crying on command out of fear..... somebody save him.
Stay away!
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Can't add to many pictures because of the tumbler limitations, but in every one of these scenes Mitsuba totally freezes, only regaining control and suddenly snapping once someone (aka Kou) does anything intimidating to him.
Going in-depth about the similarities between Kou and Tsukasa is an entirely different ordeal, but in short summery:
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There's a carefully built connection between Tsukasa and Kou, that deserves a post of it's own.
4: Symptoms of trauma:
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Trust issues are heavily associated with a problematic childhood, so it's not very surprising that Mitsuba struggles to trust anyone besides Tsukasa, even if he doesn't want to.
Very commonly appearing alongside trauma, self destructive behaviors are a tragically common coping habit. I don't think I need to add any pictures for this one, as practically every other sentence Mitsuba says have some 'Just let me pass away' coding to it.
Lack of memories is a symptom that appears in very severe cases, and while it isn't completely accurate to Mitsuba it's an interesting addition considering Mitsuba has no memories.
5: Character design:
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Mitsuba has lots of chains and locks in his wonder form, a lock on his neck (which has multiple interpretations), one preventing his heart from beating, which could be a clever metaphor for Mitsuba further constricting his humanity by "choosing" to become a wonder, but most interesting:
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What looks to be the remains of a leg shackle.
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Mitsuba in a box labeled as fragile.
6: This definitely isn't a metaphor for an eating disorder:
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"I'm always hungry, no matter how much I eat" -M
"You starved yourself from all this moping around, just because you didn't want to eat something different?" -K
Can we talk about how the fandom collectively just skipped over the huge reveal that Mitsuba STARVES HIMSELF. Because I feel like that really wasn't talked about. As if this guy doesn't have enough going on, he now has to deal with constant starvation, dehumanization at new never-seen-before-pace, and the loss of his will to exist in the first place.
He is both metaphorically and physically falling apart, constantly in physical pain. When he isn't in physical pain it's because he's experiencing gut-wrenching psychological torment as he can't stop eating live beings. I don't blame this guy.
The only person who knew of this was Tsukasa, until he "told" Kou. Told is in quotation marks because it was never really Mitsuba trusting Kou enough to open up about the hell he's enduring, as mentioned before Mitsuba doesn't exactly know how to trust. The fact was forced out of him due to a dire situation, but Kou could not have reacted in a worse way:
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Pro tip: If your reaction to learning that your best buddy is suffering from a complicated relationship with food, is shoving said food into their mouth violently, you might need therapy just as much as they do.
Kou is still unaware that Mitsuba's diet contains living things too, but if we're being honest that doesn't really put Kou in the right here. Like, man, I know you're freaking out because your friend just asked you to end him, but please take out your anger on something that isn't him.
And don't act surprised when this is his reaction:
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This is arguably the a result of post traumatic stress disorder. Mitsuba didn't just escape, he hid in the nearest corner, making himself as small as possible, hid his head and trembled. The reason I'm calling this out as PTSD is because the only other time he panicked like this was right after Tsukasa shoved the bird heart down his throat.
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So for both situations it's:
Tsukasa force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba loses control (starts attacking everything)
Kou force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba bites Kou
And the results are the same. He reacted the same way because mentally it was the same situation to him, It doesn't matter what the intentions were, Kou triggered an event(s (considering he's eaten multiple supernatural and is absolutely repulsed by it)) that Mitsuba had no intention of revisiting.
Summery:
Mitsuba's trauma is often overshadowed by more obvious displays of mental scarring, like with the Yugi twins and Kou, and is often represented with irony or humor, including by the creators themselves.
Even without everything he's gone though, Mitsuba was always a hopeless character. He just existed one day. He doesn't have anything, anyone. He's never been told he's loved, he's never felt sunlight, he never got to play, he's never had anyone tuck him into bed, or read him a story. He was robbed of his childhood, and any connections besides the few who remember him for someone that he isn't.
He doesn't even know what snow is, yet he knows how blood tastes like
This entire post wasn't even scratching the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much grave emotional turmoil Mitsuba has faced. And will face. Yeah I don't know how well his trust issues will cope with Natsuhiko leaving him to die. If he lives.
The idea of this long rant was to point out that Mitsuba's trauma and mental struggles are just as, if not more, relevant then his physical ones. And they do affect him, and they do have consequences. And they will most certainly come back 20x worse later on in the plot. I would say to prepare mentally, but I know tbhk fans can handle just about anything.
Thank you for reading!
ヾ(≧▽≦*)
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puranami · 1 year ago
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✿ It's The Little Things - 4 ✿
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A/N: I wish I knew how to write for Katakuri because he'd be right at home in this big boi edition ksdjh Rosi makes me cry ilhsm (ಥ﹏ಥ)
Summary: Little relationship things with a couple big bads, and Rosi who has never done anything wrong in his life and doesn't die, bc i said so ✿
Characters: Crocodile, Rosinante (Corazon), Doflamingo
Content: SFW, G/N reader (though Croc calls you doll... but I think he'd do that regardless,) fluff on toast ✿
(Part 1 - Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji) (Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 3 - Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer)
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Crocodile
✿ It goes without saying, being with Crocodile means you are surrounded by luxury; he is a very materialistic man with a very specific image he has cultivated, and that extends to you. All your clothes, jewellery, any makeup, even down to your perfume and shampoo are carefully considered to make sure you compliment him perfectly. He is particular, but not unreasonable, giving you options so you can make your own decision, and he will not force something on you that you hate - can't have you walking around sulking. Really though, he values your opinion, he just sets the parameters and you chose how to meet them. In fact, if you simply went along with everything he said, giving no input of your own; he'd get very bored, very quickly.
✿ When you aren't in public, basically acting as the power couple of Alabasta (before that goes awry,) and then of the Cross Guild; he allows himself to be much softer, and generally just more human with you. Work will always be his priority, but he's not against sleeping in and having a lazy day, or part day, depending on what's going on in your lives. He'll hug you randomly, catch you in his hook if he wants your attention, and just generally manhandle you, but in the gentlest way. Crocodile also enjoys cooking with you, and is not above throwing ingredients, or flicking water at you, especially if you start it, and he will throw a tea towel in your face if he wants to. It's very endearing seeing such a powerful, and feared man being a little silly, and it's only for you.
✿ His sense of humour is as dry as he is, and either you get it and laugh along, which is nice, or you find it so painful that you can't help but groan, him laughing at your suffering instead, which is even nicer. Crocodile's laugh is basically a low rumble that you can feel reverberating in his chest, which is the nicest part of all. He always drops jokes unexpectedly, in a way where you think he's just going to comment on something, or maybe flirt with you; "You know what makes me smile, doll?" - "Could it be the fact you get to spend a quiet, relaxing day with me, hmm?" - "Facial muscles." It's either the funniest thing, or you will genuinely want to throttle him. He doesn't hold it against you if you slap him over it, the impact barely registers with this living sandbag, and he takes it as a sign that the joke was a particularly good one (in his opinion.)
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Rosinante (Corazon)
✿ An absolute sweetheart, and a gentle giant. He treats you like spun glass, at least to begin with, afraid he will hurt you with either his general size and strength, or his clumsy nature. It will take time for him to relax into things, but he will; humans are naturally rather resilient, and him giving you a strong hug, or falling over himself onto you is not going to break you. It still won't stop him crying over it, especially if you end up with any bruises, but you'll hold him gently as you stroke his head, soothing him while you explain that it's alright, and that these things happen; "I got a bigger bruise from accidentally kneeing the table the other day. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last either. Everything is okay, I promise." Poor guy just loves you so much, he can't stand the thought of you being hurt in any way!
✿ He absolutely adores it when you snuggle up beside him, under his massive coat. It feels like the safest place in the world, and it's so warm - nothing bad can happen under this fortress of feathers! Rosi in general is just a cuddly guy really, holding you at every opportunity, taking your relatively small hands in his giant ones, carrying you whenever and wherever you'll allow him to; always by his chest though, so when he inevitably slips, he doesn't land on you. Being your resident tall, he prefers to pick you up to reach things as opposed to grabbing those things for you, as it means he can hug you at the same time!
✿ Rosinante is absolutely ride or die with you! Whatever your dreams and ambitions, he will do everything in his power to try and help you achieve them. The only caveat is that he will also do the same for his own mission, and sometimes that overtakes him, and he will unknowingly, and definitely unwillingly overlook you at times. He keeps you completely separate from that part of his life - because it's so dangerous, and he never wants to put you in harms way. It can be lonely when he's so focused, or not around, and that's what spurs him to attach himself to you whenever he can.
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Doflamingo
✿ The fact you managed to catch his attention at all is honestly a feat in itself. He's a man who has everything (until he goes to jail,) and he always gets what he wants, no matter how he has to go about it - so there must be something that he cannot buy, threaten, or manipulate out of you, or anyone else. There is something about you personally, a fearless spirit, the right kind of sass, the patient and forgiving nature of a god, just something more; you're like a unique treasure, one that he refuses to allow in the public eye, as he is a very selfish man. He basically puts you on a pedestal, catering to every little whim or desire. At least to a point. He won't prioritise you over his machinations, and he can't be soft and tender with you on command. He'll have is moments sure, but they're on his time, and only when you are alone.
✿ He loves to loom over you, manhandle you, generally just manipulate your body, all to remind you just how small and delicate you are. The man is a predator, let's be real, and you will never forget that while you are his favourite, you are still prey in his eyes. While he likes the look of you being the small, timid thing he expects from prey, he adores your looks of defiance, refusing to cower before him. It's part of what proves that you are above everyone else, excluding himself of course, and that you are worthy of his attention. You can sass him, and tell him "No," so long as you do what he says where it matters. He won't tolerate blatant disrespect and insubordination, that's a one way ticket 6ft under. Your relationship is a delicate balance of accepting your place beneath him, but not being so beneath him that you may as well not exist.
✿ In those longed for times when it's just the two of you, he will give you whatever affection you desire, even if it's not something he can really reciprocate. He likes you happy, and his pride means he will not accept that there is something he cannot get or do for you. That's not to say he doesn't love you, he does in his own way; he's just buried that part of him deep down, so deep it may never be found. Perhaps, as time goes on however, with you being a consistent presence in his life, showing him what genuine kindness and compassion are, he may remember somewhat and be able to offer it back to you. Don't hold your breath, though, if it's happening, it's not happening fast. He's certainly a convincing actor, and his mimicked affections feel real enough.
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starringthesturniolos · 4 months ago
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bite me (part 7)- Matt Sturniolo
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part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7
summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.
contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)
i wake up, pain etched in every fiber of my being. i rip off my covers to find my stomach with three gaping, bleeding stab wounds. I try to scream but no sound comes out. Hands reach me and i faintly hear nicks voice in my ear before i black out.
i come back to my senses again, with the same pain in my abdomen but my surrondings are different. theres trees and grass everywhere. i crane my head to the side to see matt laying there, and panic rushes through me when I see his wounds. wounds that exactly mirrored mine. “matt” i whimper, i fight through my pain to reach him. i shake him until his eyes flutter open weakly. his skin is paling from blood loss and i grab at the wound on his skin to try to stop the blood flow. “what happened?” i ask feeling nicks presense behind me. even though my eyes were on matt, the question was directed towards him.
“he got stabbed by spell bound knife by some random guy who clearly has a some kind of vendetta against us.” he pauses and i can hear him sniffling. “i just hope he's going to be okay, I've never seen a vampire bleed like this." his voice breaks and he tries to take a stabilizing breathe. "madi will be here soon” he says more to himself than to me.
I couldn't even respond to what nick was saying as my vision starts to blur. i grip matts wound tighter in hopes that he won't feel the way I do now. “you have to take care of yourself too” matt says weakly while peering at my equally grotesque wound. I look into his eyes and a fresh wave of pain comes over me but in this moment it's just us. everything else stops. “I can’t live without you matt.” I whisper, tears falling down my face. "so what's the point?", I sigh. even though the statement was supposed to be a reminder of the one of the conditions of the mating bond that still applies , it sounded more like a confession of some sort. like I didn't want to live without him. a surge of pleasure and a warm feeling passes through me that I don't recognize as my own. matt's eyes are clouded when he looks at me and i can tell he can feel my sadness and fear. we can feel each others emotions which can only mean one thing. “i think our spell broke” I whisper. matt smiles softly at this before his head falls limp and his eyes shut again. I panic and try to slap his face gently to wake him up. I turn to nick who is already heading our way, eyes widened with fear.
when nick reaches matt he grabs him and shakes him hard so hard my grip on his wound almost slips. “matt, matt, no, matt, you have to stay awake! you can do this!" hes shouts as he tries to get closer to matt. he presses into me to do so and my body reels in protest at the added pressure. I feel him shaking with adrenaline and fear. “madi’s almost here matt come on!” fear for matt and my own excoriating pain continues to encompass me but i can no longer keep my eyes open. i fall into nicks side, blacking out for the second time tonight.
———————————————————————————
“got there just in time, your lucky” a voice I recognize as Madi's speaks up. once again, my surroundings are completely different and I am in a unfamiliar bedroom I can only assume is Madi's. "didn't even know there were spells you could put on weapons, let alone ones that are strong enough to kill vampires." matt mutters and you shutter at the sound of his voice. the mating bond feels even stronger than before you had come to Madi's. you open your eyes in search for your mate, and your body becomes desperate when you see him. you go to get up, but your stomach screams in protest. matt is by your side in a flash coaxing you back down into the bed gently.
"slow down! shit, that hurt me!" he says. you stare at his all too attractive face and feel warm all over. "I was so worried, I'm glad you're okay." you whisper. His eyes mirror the warmth you felt and he offers you a gentle smile. "yeah kid, I could say the same. Madi got there just in time, healing potions in hand. they were strong, but not strong enough to heal your wound completely." he says to me quietly. once again his voice compels me to get closer and feel his touch. to feel him.
"did the spell break?" Madi ask inquisitively while walking over to your bedside slowly. I break out of my trance to answer her "yeah I guess you could say that" I laugh a little at the odds, all this supernatural stuff still sounds so weird to me. "must have been the near death experience." matt finishes.
"no. that's not how it works." Madi says matter of factly. "okay, well did you do the spell wrong or what?" matt snips and I chuckle. matt hates not being in the know and he has no idea what's going on at all times. "control freak" I think to myself.
"nooo, I did it right" she responds smiling at his annoyance "one -or both- of you fuckers feels different then you did before. THAT is why the spell broke." she says looking from you to matt in amusement. "what do you mean "different"?" I ask genuinely curious. matt must be thinking the same thing because his eyebrows are furrowed. its like matts way of saying "what the fuck is going on" without actually saying it.
"what I mean is" Madi pauses which adds a dramatic effect.
"someone is in loveee." she practically sings in happiness.
silence ensues after that. matt looks at me and I look at matt. we both blink before turning back to Madi and shaking our heads at her. but even as I do so, I try to think deeper.
I did think about him a lot, as of the past few days, he's been on my mind all the time, even with the side effects of the bond dormant. he makes me feel so many things, and he makes me lose my composure. composure that I work so hard to maintain. worst of all, I know for a fact I've shown him sides of me that I've never shown anyone, a vulnerable softer side. A side of me that cries and wants to be comforted. a side I vowed to never show anyone, but with matt, it came out whether I wanted it to or not.
maybe, I am in love with matt. maybe, I am just too afraid to admit it.
Madi looks at me with knowing eyes and I hear her voice in my head. "it's okay, y/n. it's safe for you to love him. he's your mate after all" she winks. "heyyy, I didn't know you could talk telepathically!" I say with a big smile on my face. smiling because I had a new friend, and smiling because she is right. we may not always get along but Matt's always been safe. he's shown me that over and over the past two days, he protects and comforts me without second thought. "yup its a new trick I learned" she responds mirroring my smile.
" you said something to her in her head?" matt looks at her then shifts his eyes to me, waiting for me to give him the details. I know that he wants to know but I want to keep my little secret a secret for now. at least until I find the right way to say it, so I stay silent. "well what the fuck did she say to you??" matt says, taking your silence as me not realizing he was waiting for me to tell him. me and Madi just look at each other and burst out laughing at his annoyance. "um, hello!" he speaks over our laughter and we laugh even harder.
"okay, whatever." he scoffs. "I still don't get it, why does someone's feelings changing affect the spell you cast?"
"because mating bonds are strong in and of themselves. the spell I cast was just strong enough to condense it. but anytime feelings grow, the mating bond grows stronger as well. wether its just one or both of you who caught real feelings, it affected the bond. so of course, the spell broke as it could no longer contain it. you guys are on your own now, there's nothing I can do for you anymore." at the last part matt groans in frustration, "fuck" he growls. my heart pangs at the rejection but I try to ignore it. Madi just frowns at him before speaking again. "mating bonds are natural, matt. I tried to help you before because your my friend but its over now. its time to get serious, stop feeling sorry for yourself." she scolds turning around to leave the room, but she stops once she reaches the doorway.
"and matt, you know what's going to happen next. take her home and take care of her. " she says to him over her shoulder with intensity. fear runs down my spine. what's going to happen to me I think to myself as I stare at Madi's retreating form. matts in my vision now and he picks me up from off the bed. " I already know your going to ask what's going to happen now so I'm just going to tell you" he licks his lips and looks down at me. "after the mating bonds been present for 3 days" he pauses as he tries to find the right words. "the woman goes into heat" my mouth flies open in shock. is this is why he wanted to get rid of the mating bond as soon as possible?? what does it even feel like to be "in heat". a million questions ran through my head, as he says what I already knew next.
"which means your gonna be in heat any minute now, y/n." his eyes cloud with lust.
"and I'm gonna be the one that gets you through it."
@bbernard-03
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reunionatdawn · 3 months ago
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My Analysis of Sylvain's Promiscuity
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(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: So, the persistent stares of women, the appraising looks of noble daughters… I had to smile and accept them. …Because I had the Crest, you see. Byleth: That's not true. Sylvain: It's already too late now, but I understand. …I should have just said one word, "no".
This part of Sylvain's Japanese A-Support with Byleth really stood out to me. He felt like he should have just said "嫌だ" (iya da). It is a rather strong expression that conveys not just a simple "no" or "I don't want to," but also a feeling of being disgusted or significantly displeased by something. Based on the context and his tone of voice here, it strongly implied that he was remembering some specific traumatic memory from his past regarding sexual consent.
(Japanese Translation) Mercedes: And many women have approached you, targeting your Crest. ...I won't ask what happened. But I have a feeling that deep down in your heart, you hate and fear women...
Mercedes could tell that Sylvain didn't just hate women; he was afraid of them. She knew that something traumatic probably happened to him that he didn't want to talk about. I think he was probably taken advantage of at a young age by an older woman who was trying to get pregnant with a Crest baby. She forced herself on him and he didn't feel like he was capable of saying no.
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Felix: And you never consider how your actions hurt others…or how you hold them back. Sylvain: That's never my intention. Come on, you know me better than that. I'm not really—Look, if that's the impression I've given you, then I'm sorry.
Sylvain was totally unapologetic about how his womanizing affected Ingrid. And he didn't care about hurting any of the girls he pumped and dumped. But he was very apologetic to Felix for hurting his feelings. The localizers seemed to be aware that there was supposed to be a connection between Sylvain's C-Support with Felix...
Sylvain: You think I'd cheat? On you, baby? Never. Come on, you should know me better than that. You're the only one for me. I swear.
...And his C-Support with Byleth. He apparently expected Felix to know him better than that to think he'd ever really cheat on him, even as he flirted with girls right in front of him. Which is an... unusual way for him to approach their relationship. But survivors of childhood sexual abuse often cope by engaging in sexual promiscuity.
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(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: I mean, being dumped or dumping someone, it's a common story, isn't it?
Sylvain tried to downplay it in their B-Support, but he was very hurt after getting dumped by Felix in their C-Support. He was not expecting Felix to apologize to him and truly thought it was over between them. And he seemed to be taking the pain of that breakup out on the village girl he dumped in his C-Support with Byleth.
(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: That girl too, just because there was another woman, there shouldn't be a reason to get that angry.
CSA can distort a person's understanding of love and intimacy. It can create a split between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, making it difficult for them to experience love and sex as interconnected. Sylvain did not inherently associate sex with love. So, he truly didn't understand why his casual flings would be considered cheating or why it would even make Felix jealous or angry.
(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: Sigh… Seeing the pained expression of a cute girl, it's hard to handle. (Option 1) Byleth: It doesn't look like it. Sylvain: No, no, it's really hard. I'm still pretty depressed about this. (Option 2) Byleth: Really? (Male Byleth) Sylvain: Ah, it really is painful. I feel like I might collapse on my knees any moment now. …Well then, Professor, they say the best way to heal from this kind of love pain is a new love, right? How about going out with me for a bit? Let's go woo some girls together! (Female Byleth) Sylvain: It's obviously hard, isn't it? ...Professor, you can comfort me if you want. Oh, the other day, I got some good tea leaves! How about it, in my room...
Sylvain didn't love any of the girls he slept with. But he was using his hook ups as a way to fill the void of true love and intimacy.
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Ingrid: When you were fifteen, you sought—relentlessly, might I add—to involve yourself with Lord Gwendal's daughter.
CSA blurs the survivor's understanding of healthy boundaries. Sylvain did not want to get married. In fact, he said that he would have run away if he had the courage. But he had no say in the matter. Some survivors may develop hypersexual behaviors as a way to regain control over their bodies. It can be a way to exert power in situations where they had previously felt powerless. By being sexually active on their own terms, they might reclaim a sense of agency.
(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: I just picked up that girl from around here. I thought we'd just have some fun and then go our separate ways. But it seems like she ended up getting more attached to me than I expected. Man, what a hassle. Byleth: You're too frivolous. Sylvain: What are you talking about, Professor? This kind of casual fun is the most comfortable for me. …Well, no matter what you think, I have no intention of changing my ways. You see, even though I'm a good-for-nothing, I'm still a noble with a Crest… I try to avoid getting too involved. It only brings trouble. Eventually, I'll be quietly married off to someone suitable, and that'll be the end of it.
Abuse can severely impact a person's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Some survivors may engage in promiscuous behavior as a way to seek validation or affection. Sylvain believed he was a good-for-nothing and doubted whether he was worthy of love. His sexual conquests were also a way to combat his poor self-esteem.
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(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: If by any chance a child without a Crest is born, that generation is just given up on… But generally, the head of the family keeps having children until one with a Crest is born. Then, the child with the Crest becomes the next head and repeats the same thing. You understand? For commoner girls, someone like me is easy prey. Byleth: That's not a nice way to put it... Sylvain: Even if you say that... Should I say that it's a good stepping-stone to becoming a noble?
Survivors may find it hard to believe that others have good intentions, fearing that getting close to someone will lead to betrayal or harm. Sylvain assumed that every girl who showed interest had an ulterior motive. In the English version of his B-Support with Byleth, he lamented how girls viewed him as a trophy and a studhorse.
In Japanese, he was even more cynical. "格好の獲物" (kakkou no emono) literally translates to "prime catch" or "ideal prey." It is often used to describe someone that is seen as an easy or attractive target, whether in a literal hunting sense or in a metaphorical sense, such as someone being an easy victim for exploitation, manipulation, or attack. The phrase can carry a negative connotation, implying that the person is vulnerable or easy to take advantage of.
(English) Sylvain: If I marry a girl and she gives birth to a child with a Crest, that kid might become the next head of House Gautier. (Japanese Translation) Sylvain: If they can have a child with a Crest, that child might become the next head of the family.
The original Japanese version of this sentence didn't mention marriage. Nobility status is granted to any child who bears a Crest, regardless of whether they're a bastard. And so, a commoner woman wouldn't even need to marry Sylvain to benefit from his blood. All she would need to do is sleep with him and become pregnant with a child who bears the Crest of Gautier.
(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: Well, nowadays with our diluted blood, most of what's born are guys like my older brother, though… Crest-bearers have always been both envied and desired by people. I understand the value of my blood, in my own way. …To the point of disgust.
I don't think the girls that Sylvain was hooking up with in his Byleth Supports were using him. They seemed genuinely hurt by his behavior. But it would not be too farfetched to believe that Sylvain had an encounter with a female sexual predator in the past.
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(Japanese Translation) Ingrid: …And stop making jokes like that guy did about being fine with dying.
Engaging in promiscuous behavior often involves taking risks. It can even be a form of self-harm like cutting. After making advances on Lord Gwendal's daughter, Sylvain was almost killed by her father. And he not only expected to get stabbed eventually, but he did not care if he did. He just laughed and joked that it would be fine if he died.
(Japanese Translation) Sylvain: It's fine, as long as you're okay… If you're alive, then I…
I'm sure that Sylvain was not really joking here. Engaging in promiscuous behavior is also a way to dissociate from one's emotions. As children, Felix and Sylvain had made a promise that they would always be together until they died together. Sylvain knew he was going to be forced into an arranged marriage after graduation. Apparently, he didn't want to have "the talk" with Felix and deal with a painful breakup. He only allowed himself to engage in casual relationships because he wouldn't feel bad about dumping them later. He was unable to be with the person he really wanted, so he slept around to avoid dealing with his pain.
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lachiennearoo · 1 year ago
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How to Make Friends
A more-or-less clear guide on social interactions
Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)
As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.
Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)
Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too
LET'S BEGIN!
1 - Be yourself
Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.
"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?
No, obviously not.
"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.
It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.
Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that
2 - Be kind
Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.
But that's... not quite that.
Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.
There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.
Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.
But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.
Hey, that brings me to point three!
3 - Show your own opinions
If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.
Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.
I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.
Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?
If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.
There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!
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gotham-daydreams · 7 months ago
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Chapter 3 'Sneak Peak'/Teaser 2
This is more of a teaser above all else, and the only real 'sneak peak' part of it is just a small scene that happens in the chapter, but from a different POV. Regardless, I hop you enjoy this little look, and just like the last teaser- this is all a glimpse that won't really be shown in the final chapter when I post both parts. Though more emphasis on the "you won't really see this outside of this teaser" part.
Nevertheless, enjoy :]
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The moment you went into the diner, he took a moment longer to watch you walk inside before quickly realizing his phone was blowing up. So, reluctantly, he turned his intercom back on, and was swiftly met with a tidal wave of voices - most of which were shouting at him. Even if he couldn't blame them too much, that didn't make the experience any less annoying or loud. So, so loud.
He tried to explain himself and calm them down like he usually did, and it did kind of work - even if a few jabs and venomous words were thrown his way in the process. Again, he couldn't really blame them, but that didn't make things better. Not really, anyway. Their words hurt, sure, but hey, on the bright side - he was still with you. No matter what they said could change that, with a little bonus being that, deep down, you were the reason why all of them kept away too, and haven't interrupted your little get-together — since there was an untold but very present fear that he himself still felt when it came to you, and that being the possibility that you hated them. That anything they did now, would only worsen whatever image you already have of them, and if it was bad already - well, they’d have to work extra hard to repair things, wouldn't they?
It's not the potential work ahead that frightened them per say – more so the thought that they had pushed you so far away that you couldn't help but despise them. That you'd refuse to come back home and have them back into your life – refuse their effort and how they were now trying, even if it may have been a month or so too late – that you'd put an end to whatever they were hoping to have now, and refuse them at every turn simply out of spite and anger. Even if it made sense, and you have all the right to be mad, the thought and possibility didn't hurt any less. They didn't want you to hate them – no matter how reasonable that reaction would be – and most of all, they don't want to know that they've hurt you to such a point. He didn't, anyway, but he didn't want a lot of things when it came to you.
It's not that he didn't want to hear you out or be made aware of his faults - for crying out loud, he basically missed out on your entire life! Of course he's bound to have hurt you, and you're bound to be mad about it, he knew that even if he still didn't like the idea. If anything, a part of him did want to know so he knew where he had to really shine. So he knew what he really needed to get done and work on when it came to you, but that wasn't the point.
He never wanted to hurt you, never. None of them really did, but he especially – in his mind – didn't mean to. So, in a way, he was almost afraid to have to face that outcome.
It wasn't the anger he was afraid of, but the pain coupled with it, since he didn't know how bad it was - none of them did. Each of them only saw pieces, some more than others, and even if he stood here knowing that, he dreaded seeing the full weight of it.
There was more, he could feel it, and he hated that more than anything. He hated not knowing, but also feared what he'd find – even if there wasn’t much he could do about that. Despite himself and the feelings he and the rest of the family seemed to share, he knew that whatever they got – they deserved it. He already knew that this wouldn't exactly go smoothly, and despite it only being a few minutes – he could already feel it. The rockiness, the edge that seemed to hang in the air whenever you spoke, the unease you felt, and the nervousness coming from you was beyond evident.
Even if there was clearly a long way to go, he still couldn't help but… hope. Sure, it was wishful thinking, and honestly not very realistic, but he couldn't help himself. As much as it hurt looking at you, it made him soft, and untangled the most messy parts of himself. He couldn't explain why even if he tried, especially because he was only beginning to feel this now, but all he knew was that it felt… good, and made him regret not trying harder sooner.
He had a lot of regrets since he saw those things in your room and learned what he did, but as time passed and the night continued on, he found those regrets growing and becoming bigger. Though this wasn’t about him – of course it wasn’t, why would it be? – it was about you, they all knew that despite themselves, and all they wanted to do to make up for lost time.
Speaking of, the shouts never truly stopped. Sure, some died down and tried to get some information out of him, and even if he did say a few things here and there to give the impression that he was paying attention, most of what he learned he sort of… kept to himself. He just couldn’t help it. There was something so… special, so good that came with knowing more about you than the others. That came with being able to pick up on these little, small things about yourself that the others didn’t have the luxury of knowing just yet.
Maybe they’d learn eventually if things go smoothly, he knew that much, but at the moment he was more than willing to take in this rare moment and opportunity. The fleetingness of it only making it more enticing, and worthy of taking.
Yet, when one of them mentions you again, and asks how you’re doing – he can’t help but look back at you through the glass of the diner, but what he sees isn’t what he expects and he pauses.
You both hold your stares for a moment, and he ends up being the first to break it as he looks away, unable to take the sight any longer. He didn’t like that look in your eyes, the look you gave him – the look of untold worries and concerns that he knew dealt with him or were about him in some way. Granted, he couldn’t read your mind, but for a moment he wished he could. For that moment, he wishes he could take even the smallest peak into your thoughts just so that he knew what made you give him such a look. So that he knew what he could do to take away that conflict in your eyes and ease whatever worries you had – so that he could try to make things better.
He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but suddenly, just from that alone, he finds himself growing antsy. Even as he talks to the others over the comm link, he finds himself becoming subconscious of everything he’s done up until this point, trying to figure out what he did to make you wear such an expression. Even if it was just a little thing, he can’t help but worry over it, especially considering what he’s here to do. The voices of the family fall into the background with automatic, lame responses leaving him as he falls deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. He’s usually so confident and sure, but with you he’s a mess and is suddenly worrying over all of the little things he didn’t think of before. Did he act too soon? Should he have tried to be more patient? Sure he was worried at the time, but if this was the consequence of those actions then they weren’t worth it at all. God, he knew he should’ve been more-
Then, suddenly, you step out of the diner, and all is right with the world. His head empties, and without even thinking about it, he turns his comm link off once again.
It’s just as he thought earlier. You made him soft, and undid even the worst parts of himself.
With you, it’s like nothing else mattered, and that the past was far behind him.
Yet, he failed to realize that it was only that. A feeling and nothing more.
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propheticclown · 23 days ago
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Just finished playing Mouthwashing and I just wanna leave my character opinions in this post. OBVIOUS SPOILER WARNING!!! Curly: Lovely character. I adore his characterization of being unable to do anything until it's too late. He stood on the sidelines for too long and was only given the option the stay on the sidelines for the rest of his life. That moment when he goes to confront Jimmy and the screen starts lightly shaking and starts flashing the "Kills 99.9%" to signify his utter rage and contempt for Jimmy at that point? Adore it. I don't think he's as horrible as people say. He had no malicious intent, but that ironically caused his downfall. He was too passive and that led to the failure of the crew and became a victim to Jimmy's twisted delusions. Swansea: MY GLORIOUS KING!!! I love his whole roundabout character. He's so three-dimensional. I adore him for accepting his flaws and genuinely being able to "Take Responsibility". His relationship with Daisuke, being the hardened man scorned by the world and wanting to make sure Daisuke didn't end up like him was so beautiful. The fact that he doesn't get mad at Daisuke for crawling through the vent and getting hurt because he knew he just wanted to help made me tear up. He's so incredible. Plus he can canonically throw it back, which is always a plus.
Daisuke: What an amazingly tragic character. A kid who feels useless and wants to help in any way he can, even if that means putting himself in harm's way. I love how he attempts to remain positive and cares about the other crew members. Even in his one moment of grief where he discusses his fear of disappointing others, it's never about himself. In his couple last scenes, he even talks about his mom and hopes she won't feel guilty. It's incredible. Anya: Oh, where do I even begin with Anya? I love her. Her whole character is tragic, but those profound moments where she's with Curly, where she's comfortable and we get to see her true self come out, it's so beautiful. She jokes around, gets intense about board games, and is even a bit energetic and passionate about nursing, but most of all, she's just a sweet person. She's incredibly skilled at keeping Curly alive after his incident. She keeps everything calm while Jimmy is away. Her grief and response to Jimmy's actions towards her are sad and I will absolutely admit that I cried after I found out she died and had to step away for a bit because she just was such a genuinely beautiful person. I wish we got to see more of her and I really wish we get to see more of her in the future. Easily my favorite character. I love her so much AAUGH!!! The fact that her and Curly's ID cards are always covered by Jimmy's in that ID card segment is so sad. I could make a whole post on Anya. I love Anya. 11/10. Need more Anya. Jimmy: Wonderfully written. I have never hated a person, let alone a fictional person, more in my life that when this fucker was on my screen. A horrible person. A genuinely irredeemable asshole who does nothing but bring the crew down with him. As much as I would adore making a whole rant post about him, it's 2:00 AM as of writing this and I wanna sleep. So basically; Fuck Jambalaya or whatever his name is.
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venus-is-thinking · 2 months ago
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DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 16: Initial Thoughts
Sorry for missing episode 15 :(
That being said, oh my god, Chapter 2 is actually complete! This is so exciting! I'm really hyped to talk about this episode and give my not-live summary of my live reactions!
SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT THROUGH THE END OF CH 2!!!
CW: Murder, sacrifice, suicide
The Reactions
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12-1, this time. I'm still personally partial to the extra vote on Teruko last Trial being Arei (being petty about her "I'm voting for you no matter what" thing), so I would assume Ace is the Teruko vote. If so, I do think it's interesting that he voted Teruko as opposed to, like, Nico. Then again, it might be that it's just more convenient for DRDTdev to consistently put the extra vote on Teruko, lol.
Notably, the dead people have "N/A," not 0. We probably could tell this because of Xander last time, but I didn't check. I wonder if this implies we won't ever need to vote for someone dead (ex. a mastermind who "died" earlier in the killing game).
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I'm free... I can read whatever Eden says as genuine...
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Take THAT, Whit time loop theorists /j
I do think it's funny/kinda telling? that Whit is only saying this after the trial is over. Like, I feel like the normal time to go "oh my god we're having another trial" is, like... when you find the body? So, it's interesting that his reaction is so delayed.
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So, I don't know if this was an intentional parallel, but...
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These feel similar to me. I really like the Ace/Arei parallels, where they're both chronically hated people, but Arei apologizes and tries to change whereas Ace lets the fear and paranoia consume him until there's no turning back. Ace only says this after he's already been found guilty of murder; Arei says this before promising to change her ways to the victim of her bullying.
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Teruko out here hopping on that self-blame train.
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It's so funny how different Hu's standards are when talking about Ace's murder vs. Nico's attempted murder. Like... Hu this is what everyone was telling you like an hour ago. What.
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It's really interesting that we're highlighting this line. I wonder if this is part of a theme that we're going to explore further, maybe tied into the "all murderers have to be punished" thing. Or maybe Eden isn't actually accurate here, but doesn't know it; has Ace killed someone in the past?
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Fun trick you can do here!
When we first met Teruko a week ago, she was the same person, certainly, but she was also different. She was happier, and she trusted people more.
There are so many good character parallels in DRDT. The Ace/Teruko one was really interesting in this post-trial.
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Ooh, new flavor of J anti-murder! This seems to be broadening it to also being critical of the killing game, which would go against my weird hypothetical "J is anti-murderer but also the mastermind" read.
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It's interesting, with how this is Ace's logic. It makes total sense for his character, though. I think it's easy for us, the viewers, to forget the fact that the characters probably don't have the precedent of "every blackened ever always loses." When Ace is running the odds, he thinks his survival odds were better as a killer than as a participant in the killing game. And y'know, considering how close he came to dying as Nico's victim, that's kinda fair.
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I desperately want to know what Levi was going to say here.
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I really like the fact that Ace DID care about Levi. That he intrinsically cares about him, but he knows factually that he isn't supposed to like or trust someone in a killing game. That once he killed Arei, he had to resolve to kill everyone in the killing game, even Levi.
The only way Ace knew to prevent himself from caring was to stay mad, I guess. Kinda unfortunate though, considering that I do think Levi wanted to patch things up with him genuinely.
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Meanwhile, Levi, who doesn't understand emotions, is just like "man what the fuck. That makes no sense."
What a pair. I'm sad we're not going to get to see their dynamic anymore :(
In other words, I'm back on the Levi survivor train baby! My biggest problem with it before was that I thought Ace was gonna survive and I didn't think Ace and Levi were both gonna survive, so now we're locking tf in!
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This is fun! I always wonder why more people don't try stuff like this. Like... shoot your shot. You're gonna die otherwise, soooo...
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Great animation as always
I think it's really funny that Teruko is so fucking mad that she bullies Ace into action. Like, that's so fitting for both of them.
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I love using this David expression here. He's just like, "was it that easy? Why was I trying to throw the trial then???"
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aaaaAAAAAAAA--
What the fuck!! XF-Ture mention!!!!!!!!
I like the spooky vibe MonoTV has for this post-trial, but I do hope we get our normal silly lil guy back next chapter. I like the MonoTV personality we see all the time. I'm gonna miss it if it just died like that :(
I am also squinting so hard at everyone's reactions through "who is the mastermind" goggles. Maybe I'll analyze them in a different post sometime.
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Fascinating purpose. Not "to create despair." Not "to run the killing game until only one participant survives." To kill everyone.
Does this include whichever mastermind?
Why does whoever programmed MonoTV want to kill all of these people? Are they being punished for something?
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This countdown sequence fucked me up. The tensions and emotions are so high. Even as someone who was confident that Teruko, at least, wasn't going to die no matter what, I was so on edge. I got really scared that Eden was going to take the hit for Teruko, though, and that's what I was reading into when I wasn't sure Eden would make it to Chapter 3.
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This speech, more than any other one Teruko has made or any actions she's taken or endured, really made me feel for Teruko. The fact that she can so casually talk about truly traumatic and horrific things happening to her, while smiling, truly shows how much she's grown used to it. Like, girl. You don't deserve this. What.
The character work on Teruko especially this episode is just fantastic. No words.
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This panel stressed me out so bad because it was really just a question of WHO took the bullet for Teruko. Like, if she's thinking this, someone clearly did.
My bets were on either Eden, Charles, or Ace.
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Levi, though, was such a surprise to see. Like, in a good way. It means so much.
First of all, it's a callback to the end of the prologue. Levi attacks MonoTV, and when MonoTV tries to kill him in response, Teruko's danger sense alerts her. It's only through Teruko warning Levi to move that Levi dodged the main attack, resulting in only an arm injury rather than death. Now, Levi returns her favor, preventing her from dying from attacking MonoTV.
Second, it puts Ace into the position we see of having to confront the possibility of Levi's death. I got the distinct sense that they wanted Ace to be able to do something heroic on his way out, to prove all the haters wrong (which is why I thought it was possible he'd take the hit for Teruko instead of Levi). By putting Levi, pretty clearly the person he cares most about, into harm's way, it makes Ace take action. It means that he HAS to confront the fact that he cares Levi, and that he has to die.
And, thirdly... I am so fascinated to learn why Levi did this. Was it as simple as a transactional, "you saved me from execution before?" Is it "I thought saving someone would make me a good person?" Does Levi actually feel some remorse for Teruko in this moment, causing him to take action?
No matter what his reasoning, I can't wait to hear from him. I strongly suspect Levi won't actually die from this (at the very least, I hope not, because I really want to hear more from him), but even if he does, hopefully we'll still get some more insight in a bonus episode or a flashback or something.
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I'm trying to figure out what triggered Whit here.
This is immediately following "The elevator won't open," but it also definitely can just correlate to "[person] will die if they don't receive immediate medical treatment." I have to assume that something here is reminding Whit of his mom...?
With the weird "Whit knows a lot about hanging" earlier, I got the impression that Whit's mom probably hung herself. From this, I would probably theorize that Whit found her while she was still alive, but not quickly enough to save her. Yikes.
Anyways, I think that means everyone has some kind of despair sprite now! That's fun!
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o7
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I'm sure many have pointed this out, but do we think he's counting himself here (Arei + Ace + Levi = 3), or do we think he feels responsible for someone else's death in his past (probably Taylor)? I'd lean towards the second one.
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Y'know, before I thought Arturo was just pressed about the surgeon thing because people were unfairly hating on him. This, at least, I think implies something relating to Felicity.
Arturo doesn't have any experience saving lives. He left, and Felicity died. He can't save lives; he's only responsible for Felicity's ending. I think that's how he sees it.
On a side note, I think there's a very definite possibility that Chapter 3 cold opens on Arturo saving Levi's life??? Like, how Chapter 2 started with Eden POV, I think Chapter 3 could start with Arturo taking his shot at healing Levi, eventually resulting in Levi stabilizing. I'm not sure who would be there with him. Possibly Hu, since she was leading the "let's get Levi to the infirmary" effort...?
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I love executions like this. Accirax has said before that the best executions are what make their recipient feel the most despair, and that's definitely what they did with Ace here. Put the talent aside; fear is what Ace fears the most.
Uhhhh. I'm pulling an Accirax. Part 2 in reblog!
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dzvelinaskebiyars · 4 months ago
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Sanzu oneshot
Warnings: angst, argument, obsessive behaviour, toxic relationship, slight physical abuse
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Sanzu opened the door of your shared bedroom, harshly shoving you inside, not caring if you almost fell on the floor. He was angry, furious even. You seriously started thinking that he might have killed you today or tomorrow. "Why the hell did you say that to Mikey?! I told you thousands times to don't fucking disobey, didn't I?" He yelled at you, which was nothing new by now.
It was always like that, he placed Mikey above you. If you as much as thought badly of Mikey, Sanzu immediately would start arguments with you. Bonten, in which you forcingly were dragged into, has completely ruined your life so you wanted to leave the organisation as soon as possible but there wasn't a turning back without betraying Mikey. But that wasn't possible for you in the fear of your own lover, Bonten's number 2, mercilessly killing you.
Month ago, you started half-heartedly doing the missions given by Mikey and today, at the meeting, you refused to do certain mission he gave you due to you not feeling comfortable with it. Which lead you to where you are now. Alone in the room with furious Sanzu who's fighting himself to don't beat you up right where you stand.
"I can't carry out every single mission, okey? There are times when I get hurt and uncomfortable with it." You defended yourself, definitely not planning to sleep with some random men in order to kill them just because someone asked you to.
"Well sorry, love, but this is criminal organisation you serve, not the freaking kindergarten!" He raised his voice higher, spreading his hands widely as if to tell you what an obvious thing your head couldn't process. "We all get hurt here and we all hurt others. As if it's a your fucking first time doing it-"
"Well it'll be last." You cut him off, making his eyebrows furrow. "Sanzu, I..." The urge to just end things between you two and leave Bonten was so strong but you were terrified. Who wouldn't be? The thought of being killed by your lover is terrifying. "I want all of this end. I can't take it anymore." You finally uttered the words, trying to explain to him, trying to make him understand how you feel.
He just stared at you with blank look before stepping towards you, alarming you. Sanzu just casually walked towards you, grabbing your head with both of his hand unbelievably gently. You couldn't tell what he was thinking about while staring at you with those eyes. He was eerily calm before his grip on your head started to tighten to the point it horribly hurt. "Sanzu...Sanzu!" You hissed in pain, trying to push him away but he didn't even budge.
It hurt. It felt like he was trying to break your skull with his hands. Finally, he spoke. "End things? Who gave you right to do so? I don't give a fuck if you can take it or not. You got into Bonten and you'll stay here. You fell in love with me? You won't fucking fall out." He chuckled but nothing was funny. He wasn't joking, he was furious. He finally let go of your head as you grabbed it to soothe the pain, falling on the bed.
He pinned you down on the bed, his veins popping on his forehead but he smiled. The chills run down your spine, sweat rolling down your forehead. "I can't let you go without teaching you a lesson now, can I?"
He threw you further on the bed, grabbing your ankle when you tried to run away, pulling you to him. "Sanzu, please..." Your eyes started watering up. Gosh, you hate him. He was fucking deranged, why did you even fell in love with him? Why are you still trying to convince himself that he'll change? Why are you trying to excuse his behaviour as if he's not caging you in a relationship.
"Please what, hm? C'mon doll, speak up. You had so much to say to Mikey earlier. Speak now too." He bit your neck way too hard. It hurt, gosh it horribly hurt. Small amount of blood started rolling down from the bite. "It hurts, Sanzu..." You hissed. Why were you even saying this? It's not like he'd care, at least not now, not in this moment. "Good. It's supposed to."
He harshly grabbed your chin, putting strength to it, making it hard for you to breathe. "You seriously didn't think that I would kiss the pain away when you decided to mess everything up, did you?" He mockingly laughed, shaking his head.
He was about to give you your deserved punishment, the one kind that would erase every thought of betrayal from that pretty brain of yours.
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starlyx0 · 5 months ago
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so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)
so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!
This won’t be the best character analysis
as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.
So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.
Things I’ll go over!
personality 
looks 
hobbies
past & current 
relationship with family 
relationship with friends
This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.
1 | personality
I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,
but making his entire personality music makes me so mad
most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 
he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 
hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)
2 | looks 
he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲
After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,
overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,
saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk
3 | hobbies
did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️
I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 
there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,
he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw
I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭
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but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh
but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 
, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 
4 | Past & current 
I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,
I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh
see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him
probably hates turtlenecks with his being 
and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 
I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 
“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.
It's said flat out in episode 27
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That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.
5 | Relationship with family 
Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 
now onto Lily
I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 
Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 
she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(
now Aiden 
most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.
Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s
he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 
they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.
Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree
Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,
I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 
like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,
it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.
6 | Relationship with friends 
he is definitely the therapist friend 
He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 
his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,
they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao
his friendship with Taylor
I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 
his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 
and his friendship with Logan 
it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests
and be absolute nerds together lmao
overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me
And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 
if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡
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th3-c0ll3ct3r · 15 days ago
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Docm77 as well as MANY other have fallen face first into this media-related ragebait and I'm here to explain why you shouldn't be mad at Doc/be upset but not "wish ill things on your child" upset, which yes. I did see. Shame on you person. Shame.
Ahem.
So upon waking up in the UK/Europe, we didn't necessarily have the build up to the presidential election due to timezone conflictions, so for many people (myself include) 6am to 9am we woke up to Trumps victory speech on the trending tab. I'm not joking, that's how people going out and how I found out
There have been a mixed bag of reaction but Doc is getting hate for saying, and I quote "Lol... Really USA? This is what I wake up to?"
Alot of people say this was insensitive, and excuse my language and I don't mean to upset, it's because they're Americans and (again apologies) Americans have been socialised into to being quite emotional about politics and read into everything that happens regarding it. Which is something that the rest of the world kinda looks down on America for, because it makes you look like 'cultist' (this isn't my viewpoint however we do discuss this alot in certain class and this is how other people see you)
Doc's reaction is not trying being insensitive, because to literally anyone else it's a reaction of speechlessness and confusion. Which the majority of people saw it as.
Because we all woke up to that.
Doc isn't trying to be insensitive, but I do understand why people think he's being insensitive, his confusion and speechlessness is being written off as dismissive.
People are saying the word 'lol' is worth cursing at his family over
1. That's not tolerated here. Don't be sending threats or harassing him.
2. Lol, has cultural differences in meaning.
In the US countries, it means 'haha funny!' or it can be a dismissive reply (in text format)
But in other countries, lol, is also used as a 'your joking right?' or 'pretty funny joke'. An example being 'lol what?' (funny joke, but what does it mean)
Many people think the lol is dismissive but it's not. He, along with many other actually didn't believe Trump had won yet and learnt about it in the worst way possible
Secondily he made a comment about dealing with "another 4 years of insanity" which people also thought was rude.
But sadly, it's actually true to alot of people outside the US. We only see the "funny" or mildly annoying bits of your media (because of filters and blockers) and sadly, I'll admit we don't know the full picture other than the Americans insanity over politics
It's literally what your known for in the UK.
So the '4 years of insanity' is definitely an exaggeration but is definitely true in some way. We get the bud of all the "Americans drama" and it's mostly the insane stuff, heck that's how flordia man and ohio became memes. So it's not unrealistic for us to see the next year's as insanity because it is. Just very dramatised
Also quick point, people are saying that because of this he doesn't support the LGBTQIA+ and to that I say; Rendog + his entire fanbase respectfully
Now the big boy issue. Doc said he won't talk about politics and Palestine yet talked about politics now? Why?
Why didn't Doc talk about Palestine?
And for similar reasons as to why alot of other people didn't talk about it, including myself. Not out of fear or something. It's because of the scams.
Being "late" to new media is frustrating especially when it comes to supporting people, and genuinely by the time I heard about Palestine I saw the scams first.
Doc HAS a younger audience demographic, who are more likely to get scammed because they do look very realistic and they even have fake followers and everything.
Why not get one from a reliable source? Well what is a reliable source? Because if something goes wrong people will blame you because you endorsed them.
Why not go to charities? Sadly their are now currently many scummy charities that do take alot of the donation percentage. (including some gofundme pages)
So to address this, Doc just didn't address it. And YES he admittedly should have explained why, instead of leaving it up to people to infer because as we can see, some people took it the wrong way. And I can see how they took it the wrong way, he didn't communicate it very well.
But to me and many others, the intentions were clear and that's why their were no comments made. However I do believe he shouldn't have used the excuse about not wanting to talk about politics, because that does have consequences long-term. And that why I'm here today
And this brings me to my final point.
People are forcing opinions out of other people and when their opinions don't aline they get mad about it. So to avoid this people either refuse to comment or have their own methods of tackling it or simply blurt it out because of pressure.
A modern example of this would be Kim. K and her son (ik shocking). Her son talked about supporting Trump and she got mad about it, told him to take down the videos and allegedly made him sign a contract saying to never make a video about politics.
Kim. K is actively avoiding being pressured into speaking by not responding and keeping it in.
However, another example of this would be Vivziepop. Due to recent events regarding her shows being leaked and the recent elections that damaged the integrity of women's rights and healthcare, she broke down on twitter.
Letting some of her frustrations spill out. This was encouraged by people personal targeting her, and basically harassing her to the point of breaking down.
These same types of people are trying to do the same to people like Aismey, Doc and even Jimmy Solidaritygaming because of thier social media presence, and when they have a reaction but then change their opinion it's suddenly a "well you didn't say that before!"
So to be clear, the circumstances of Docm77 is brought upon by miscommunication and ragebaiting. Dont go and threaten his family, voice your concerns respectfully in this troubling time (even if you're frustrated, you should project that onto someone else)
IF YOU SEE ANYONE RAGEBAITING REPORT IT
And have a good night ya'll
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theladybrownstarot · 1 year ago
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YOUR VIBES ~•☆°○•°○°
Pick a card reading~
~☆°○•SOME WORDS AND THINGS BEFORE YOU BEGIN:-
♡》Hi everyone I'm brown ♡ and back with an another pac to amaze and hype you with!
♡》Do support Me by comment/like/reblog/follow to help me grow here ♡🤍🖤♡!
♡》Love you bye bye so let's begin with your reading ~ so choose a pile(s) you feel drawn to most ~♡
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Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.
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Pile 1.
🖤 okay , i see that your vibes are giving like as of rise of Phoenix or wake up or glow up or the rise of great✨️ .
🤍 pile 1 . people think you as someone who is now rising or we say they think and feel that it's your time now to shine and do great 😆. People used to think that you won't show up or have something inside you so great but now you have realized that what you have got and what do you want and need to do 😃😎. People think that you are kinda someone who gifts themselves a lot like such things which are your requirements only 📦 🎁. You keep your plans to yourself but you are open to talk to people and guide them too . You don't show a lot of facial expression plus your face gives the vibe of someone mature also . you people are grounded too~ and must have big 3s in earth sign also.
🖤 People get that clear ,concise , straight forward and to the point kind of person 📈. People feel your vibes as of someone who is fast and knows what to do and how to do now like you aren't indecisive at all ; you know how to make clear decisions and give good judgements . You see more deep , you are curious and tries to know more . People wanna approach you and ask you that how did you do it ? 😏
🤍 They think of you who doesn't rush into things and work🌱 . you take things slowly and calmly for sure and try to maintain your consistency by making little-little steps 🍂also that you must be observant and someone who is cautious just to make sure you aren't taking risks at all in your work .
🖤 You people vibe as a dry to green tree🍁 . You are a home person and travels less also . Might like village areas far from city . You people are workaholics but at times you get kind a away from your path maybe because of of health issues also 😯.
🤍you people are mysterious and have high patience and endurance of things . You might day dream a lot also . People get the vibes from you as like this person is fated to be great now ! btw get an evil eye protection charm for yourself😇 .
🖤 You people have learnt to take control on your pessimistic thoughts and life too ~ you have the blessings from your god and if you are an indian don't worry take the name of lord ganesha🙏🇮🇳 to remove obstacles. people you are clear and strong minded -it's hard to defeat you but i sense some people are still in the progress to make themselves up ! just leave your past and face your fears ~!🫰🏼💪
Pile 2 .
🤍 Hi pile no. 2 ! hru ? enjoying your life or every moment of it ?! yess ! that's what i'm getting from you my sunshine, you shine like sun ,star and moon ~ 🌚☀️⭐️
🖤 you know people get that vibe of you who is jovial in nature wise, likes to enjoy every second of life or trying to enjoy the present with gratitude and happiness rather than being sad oho people you know your shine sometimes makes people jealous of you too😃😊😏🫰🏽 ~ but don't mind them because you are a good person who isn't interested to take hurt and take advantage of others 🫂 knowing that in this world of harshness and darkness people struggle to come as happy individual too ~ you are a beauty with with brain , someone who is motherly , caring or your face could be motherly , who is a marriage material , dream person , a lot feminine and romantic ❤️ .
🤍 I sense that you spread kindness , compassion to others rather than hate and grief alas i hope people may get the shine like you people do ! also that you are someone who is a lot recognized by higher people and authorities also that you could be authoritative and strong headed . You are transparent also someone who is ready to give their hand to people to come up . I love you pile 2 . you are humanitarian! you are selfless ♡.
🖤 People vibe with you with rose and sun flowers and also that you like taking pics with flowers for sure . you love flowers and like to live around nature too ~ 😃😯🌹🌻
🤍 People think of you also as a prankster , someone who is bit lazy😆 to take responsibilities and someone who gets blamed also mostly🥲 . People are jealous and angry because they think you aren't serious but reality is something else pile 2 . isn't it ?;)
Possible that you don't take nonsense from other and can handle a lot of people at once! 💪🏼
🖤 You could be in a certain community , group or club that has people like you or in the community , place or work you are mostly loved and given attention to most as you could be a lot vocal and expressive too . You people must be into law of ♡♡ manifestations a lot i see and believe in universe so much that it has helped you to take your burden off also .
Pile 3 .
🤍 People think of you as someone who isn't judgmental regarding anyone . They feel comfortable around you because you are those type of people who doesn't make people feel like outsiders . You like to share your happiness with others irrespective of age , color , gender or caste vice-versa 🫂🫰🏽. You believe in sharing of things . People might feel that you are the center of attention and you give attention to everyone equally ⭐️. you present yourself as a good and gentle being. You people and grounded and strong - which makes people think that they can't defeat you 💪🏼.
🖤 You are a person who has a lot of achievements - not especially some awards or medals but achievements of your own that you made in your life by yourself😌. You people take life in a flow not in a hurry or mess 🌬🌊. You people can even enjoy alone like you can dance at any place , you can start speaking like a politician or a debater at any place without thinking much of people 😆😃. You give yourself chance first or keep yourself as a priority like you have your own voice and opinion in things 🫰🏽.
🤍 You people might me psychics like tarot card readers , astrologers, intuitive or you can a strong 6th sense 🔮 . People think that you have the answer for everything 🤓 . Some people think and vibe with you as their random guide at any point of time 😁 . Your feelings and gut are strong for sure plus i can see that you are spiritual and read a lot of text and holy books and can practicse mindfulness for sure 🙏🫰🏼🌱.
🖤 People might feel that until and unless they don't approach you , you won't approach them 🫡🤐😑 . People might vibe you with a tree - mature , silent , helpful ,selfless , knowledgeable and someone with extras , you might keep a bunch of things with you in your bag let's say i carry medicine , face wash and cucumber water when i go outside ; people think me as someone who is full and got everything that they need and wish for so goes same for you 🫂.
🤍 People think that you will be a great personality in coming time or in near future because you are developing and growing yourself by hiding from the world. I think you love peace and unity among everyone .🤫 🧿
🖤 You people are a warrior like you have experienced few major events in life and a great lover too ~ You will have great options in terms of love soon . You people are perceived as someone beautiful and graceful for sure . Don't be insecure regarding your looks because what matters is the personality and inner-self 😊🌹 .
End of the pac☆°○••°
SO, HOW WAS THIS PAC ? DID IT RESONATE ?
MAKE SURE YOU SUPPORT YOUR FAVOURITE READERS BY A LIKE/REBLOG/COMMENT/FOLLOW !
FOLLOW ME FOR MORE CONTENT THAT WILL HELP YOU TO GROW AND KNOW YOURSELF MORE ♡
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