#i let this one cook in my brain for the past 48 hours and

[riiviir]

Terrible, horrible, angsty idea that has not left my brain:

Yk how you can get narinder from the mystic seller if you don't spare him?

imagine the lamb refuses to be sacrificed and then narinder later on gets to bring the lamb back from the mystic seller, and at first he's ofc like "they tried to usurp me why would I bring them back" but then he brings them back anyways because he's lonely

meanwhile the lamb, an unwilling sacrifice who has, as far as their memory is concerned, just experienced a death that is debatably the most traumatic death they've ever experienced, is very unhappy and the angst is just immaculate

please send me asks about this I'm begging you

[jinnie-ret]

Hi! I was just wondering, could you write a oneshot of reader feeling really tired/kinda depressed, like too tired to get up of the bed to get a drink, too tired to even talk and skz just helping them through it and taking care of them? It could be 9th member or just the groupd friend. It's ok if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable with it. Thank you! Lots of love!

slump

stray kids x best friend!reader

genre: angst, fluff

content warnings: mental exhaustion

word count: 1.3k

summary: your best friends notice you've been acting different recently, and help you through your mental rut.

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this one. And if anyone is ever feeling this way, you can always message me, or reach out for help :)

Asks are shut, but if you want to be added to my taglist, let me know! And reblog and like if you enjoyed! <3

MAIN MASTERLIST

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Love, can you open the door?" Changbin's soft voice called out quietly, yet you made no effort to move. You knew he could just as easily open your door and walk in, but he was waiting to see if you had the energy to do it yourself.

"I'll take that as a no," and he walked away from the door, probably back into the kitchen to inform the boys that their latest attempt didn't work.

It wasn't that you didn't want to see them. It was more that your social battery was drained. Not even a good night's sleep was helping you gain energy because, well, although you weren't having sleepless nights, there was still a lot of things weighing on your mind that was stopping you from wanting to do anything.

Buzz.

Oh. They were spamming the group chat again.

kangaroo🖤: remember to have something to eat!

bokkie🐲: pls eat smthn sweaty 💞

prince🖌️: lixie you did not jst call her sweaty that isn't gnna help 😭

mongmong🎤: ignore them sweetie just pls eat smthn if you have the energy yh?

cheese toastie🦊: our minnie is so sweet

quokka boy🥊: careful or he will chnge his mind 👀

kitty boy😼: i'm cooking u dinner rn

dwaekki💪: pls come out and see us love :(

And so the guilt set in once more. You could tell they were doing their best but for the past couple of days you didn't want to do anything at all. And whilst they had asked you, you shut them down every time and waved them off.

The next day, you were due to go into work, something your best friends were well aware of as they had checked your shared calender to see if there was anything upcoming that was overwhelming you.

When you rang into work to call in for a sick day, that was the first time the boys heard your voice in like 48 hours. Croaky. Dry. Exhausted.

Which is what prompted your next visit.

"Hey, Y/Nnie, I've brought you some water. You don't have to talk to us if you don't want to... but, yeah," Felix brought in a bottle filled with ice water and you could tell he didn't know what exactly to do in the situation without you responding to him.

You couldn't help but feel the gratitude within you after he awkwardly smiled at you, and so, you spoke up from your nest in bed.

"Thank you, Lixie."

Within a flash he turned around and grinned warmly at you, excited at just this simple interaction, because him and the boys had been worried sick the past few days. They knew everyone had their moments, but they had never seen you like this before.

After he left, you sipped at your water and continued to mindlessly scroll through your social media feed on your phone. There was still a numbness there. You recognised videos that would normally make you laugh yet no emotion filled you.

And that's what made you feel weirder.

You thought about other times people went into some sort of slump and they'd normally be sad, upset for some reason. But no, not you.

You felt emotionless. The loneliness wasn't what sucked you in yet it was like a part of your brain felt like it had shut off. And that lasted for the next few hours until the members caught you out of bed looking for something in the cupboard to eat.

"Oh, Y/N!" Han jumped back with a hand on his heart, yet you carried on in your sluggish efforts to make something to eat.

"You're out of bed?" Jeongin was shocked until he winced from the small slap on the back of his head from Changbin.

"Don't eat that, it's not good for you, here, heat this up," Lee Know took away the instant noodles from your grasp and instead pulled out a container with a portion of dinner he had made last night. He seemed to be taking control yet he wanted to see you do something for yourself. He hoped it was motivating and that the simplest thing of heating up your own food would lead you towards an upward trajectory of going back to your usual self.

You slowly padded across the kitchen to the microwave and shoved the food in, a gentle hand tapping you on the shoulder as you shut the machine's door.

"Let's talk, Y/N," Chan guided you to the sofa in the lounge connected to the kitchen, the rest of your friends following through. There was no choice in the matter, yet the eldest remained calm which reassured you slightly.

"We've been worried about you," Hyunjin spoke for everyone when he said that.

"Sorry," you whisper, picking at the threads of your baggy jumper sleeve.

"No, don't apologise. We just want to know what's going on in that head of yours," Seungmin leans forward as he speaks quietly.

You simply shrug.

"Y/Nnie?" Chan further prompted.

"I don't know," you shrugged again, not even knowing how to explain what was going on.

"You don't know?" Felix looked around at the other members, confused.

Just then, the microwave dinged, and you stood up to go and get your food, but Lee Know's hands on your shoulders stopped you.

"Don't worry about that now. Just talk to us, anything," his thumbs rubbed soothing circles before he moved away.

"I-I don't know what you want me to say," you brought your legs up to your chest.

"We know you had work today," Changbin mentioned.

"It's ok, I called in sick," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you have a temperature?" Han frowned, feeling your forehead but that answered his question.

"I just didn't feel like it... but not in like a lazy way but I just couldn't... mentally do it?" your answer came out as a rushed question, not even sure yourself but it made sense to the rest of the boys.

"Ah, sweetie, you should have said," Hyunjin pouted, feeling bad that you were struggling.

"Not that easy though, is it?" you looked up and saw Chan crouched down in front of you.

"It's not, we know that, but we want you to always know that you've got us to fall back on, no matter what, ok?" he grabbed your hands as he said this, squeezing them so that you knew he was physically there.

"Y/Nnie... you know you don't have to always have energy, right? It's ok to have your down days," Han said seriously, which even caused Chan to look at him surprisingly as he moved away from in front of you.

"I feel like..." you began, but trailed off shaking your head.

"Tell us, talk to us love," Changbin insisted.

"I feel like I have to keep telling myself I can do it, but I know I'm lying to myself, I guess?" you sighed, leaning further back into the sofa.

"You can do it, we all know you can," Jeongin encouraged you sweetly.

"But if you can't right now, that's also fine," Seungmin added on.

And there was no need for you to verbally respond, because these safety oozing from them was wrapping you in a nice comfy blanket.

Oh, and Felix was also wrapping you in a blanket, that could have been why you felt the sudden warmth.

"Right, now you can eat," Lee Know nodded, satisfied with how the conversation had played out.

"Me too, hyung!" Han and Hyunjin both dashed after Lee Know, begging him for food too, and with that you smiled.

"There you are," Changbin titled your head up as you smiled, his face mirroring yours.

"If all it took was for Han and Hyunjin to be whiny and complain, we could have had this conversation a lot sooner," Seungmin rolled his eyes fondly, thinking of the two 00 liners who were bickering earlier that day.

"Don't ruin the moment Seungmin," Chan tutted jokingly.

But it didn't ruin the moment. Seeing them act normally around you again after they had cleared up what was going on made you feel better.

You felt, once again.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z

[mvshortcut]

Hi, Milk!! I wanted to give you some options, so here you go! I hope you are doing well and that this is fun for you. If it isn't, then please don't finish! I don't want it to be a burden <3

11. "They shouldn't treat you like that."

16. "You were calling out, in your sleep. You said my name."

21. "Oh, love. What have you done to yourself?"

26. "You're allowed to need help."

43. "Why haven't you been eating?"

48. "Don't touch me!"

And for characters, in no particular order: Mr. Benedict, Milligan, Rhonda, Sticky, Kate, S.Q., Curtain, McCracken, Sharpe, and Crawlings. Show or Books, it doesn't matter :)

read on ao3 here

tw for stress-induced eating issues!

“Why haven��t you been eating?”

Damn Milligan and his observational skills. Rhonda scratched at the back of her neck but did not look up from the map she was pouring over. “Eating? I’ve been eating plenty. What are you—”

“Now, I was here two days ago, and I remember what the pantry looked like then,” Milligan said casually. “The news of Mr. Benedict and Number Two’s kidnapping arrived the morning I left. So… let’s see here …” He moved past Rhonda into the kitchen and tugged open the pantry door. Rhonda winced.

“It isn’t what it looks l—”

“The candy jar is almost empty,” Milligan noted. “That wouldn’t have been your doing?”

“Oh no, I thought for sure I hid it well enough this time,” Rhonda moaned. “No, that wasn’t me.”

Milligan nodded and rifled through some boxes. “The chocolate bars are gone … but you prefer those granola craisins, don’t you?”

“I’ve been known to have a chocolate bar here and there,” Rhonda said futilely. Even as she attempted to fend off Milligan’s suspicions, she still was reserving half of her attention for marking key areas on the map of Stonetown on the table before her. “Now let’s see … if the pigeon needs to fly to the east to return to it’s roost, then it would take approximately—”

Milligan opened the freezer. “Oh, lookie! The three bags of dino nuggets are gone!”

Rhonda groaned. “I made her a shepherd’s pie! It took me an hour, too! But she wouldn’t—”

“Believe me, I know,” Milligan held out a calming hand. “She’s not going to want to eat anything with peas in it when her whole world has been turned upside down. It’s more important that she’s eating something, at the very least. Which brings us back to you.” 

Milligan raised an eyebrow. Rhonda groaned.

“We both know you’ve been vegetarian for years,” he said gently. “You didn’t eat any of those dino nuggets, did you?” Rhonda looked back at the map and made some more marks with her pencil. 

The silence grew and grew.

“I had some crackers,” Rhonda blurted.

“Uh-huh.”

More silence.

“How many crackers, exactly?”

Rhonda swiped at her eyes without looking up from the map.

“Hey. Hey.” Milligan was across the room in a second. “I’m not trying to upset you. I just see you working and worrying yourself into the ground. It does no good. Do you think I’d get anywhere on my missions if I didn’t eat?”

“No, you’d fall off a roof and brain yourself,” Rhonda hiccupped.

“Exactly. And you’ve got quite the noggin up there—” he rapped her skull playfully— “so let’s get it some food, shall we?”

Rhonda gestured helplessly. “The map—”

“—can wait.”

“Mr. Benedict and Number Two can’t!”

“And five minutes spent eating a slice of lasagna won’t make a difference, Rhonda.” When she still looked skeptical, he cracked a weak smile. “C’mon. Do you really think Number Two would be upset if you took time out of your day to eat? Or Mr. Benedict if you took a few hours to sleep?”

Despite herself, a tiny grin tugged Rhonda’s face at the thought of her family.

“Exactly. Now, my friend Moocho Brazos has arrived—you’ve met him? Excellent—and let me tell you, he is quite the cook. He tends to make too much, especially when he’s stressed. As the host, I think it’s your responsibility to help him out and eat some of the extra plates he’s put together. What do you say?”

Rhonda glanced one more time at her map, then nodded.

“Good. I’ll bring it up to you when it’s ready.” Then, something mysterious came over Milligan. He put his hands on his hips, drew himself up taller, and wagged a finger at her. “And don’t let me catch you neglecting your health again. Understand?”

“Yes,” Rhonda replied automatically, bemused. Milligan nodded and turned to go.

“That’s a new voice,” she called after him. She heard his footsteps halt in the hallway, then patter in reverse on the carpet until he arrived back in the doorframe.

“Pardon?”

“The Disappointed Dad voice you just tried out on me.”

“Oh,” Milligan said, flushing. “That. Yes. Just something I’m working on.”

“I see.” Rhonda’s lips twitched.

“Yes, well, I’ll need it when I finally catch up with those rascals in Portugal, so…” Milligan’s chest puffed out a tad. “Was it … y’know… any good?”

“No.”

Milligan nodded as if he’d been expecting this. “Ah.”

“But keep trying though.” Rhonda smiled—really smiled—for the first time in days. “I’m sure you’ll get it soon.”

“Right. Just gotta keep workshopping it,” Milligan nodded to himself. He still looked abashed but nevertheless attempted a snappy salute. “Lasagna delivery in ten.”

[symphonicmetal101]

After watching some anime, can I request the brothers and Side characters with an MC that makes really great bentos in their aesthetic with their favorite meals? MC could make Lucifer a fancy dish of steak done to his favorite temperature, side dishes are organized neatly, and the bento is red and black to match his design or she made pink/pastel treats for Asmo is a very cute bento that matches his style. I think it would make their day when they receive something so cute from the human

ABSOFRICKINGLUTELY! ANON! I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU! However, I write gn! Whenever possible, so I hope you don't mind. Also, I've only made bento once, so I did a tinny bit of research. Most of them stray from traditional bento, however I tried to make sure I had the four components, (protien, carbs, salad/veggies, and fruit) (except Asmo), and different cooking methods for each. Some of them I forgot to explicitly say what colour the box was, so I'm sorry about that. I didn't do Luke because he had a role in Simeon's, and I blanked. (Sorry) Also, some of them have links bc I started to lose inspiration and motivation to write the same thing over and over again bc brain juice went bye. Hopefully I did this justice, I may have gotten a little carried away...sorry for rambling.

MC Makes Bento For The Boys

Lucifer

Lucifer had been working non-stop for the past few weeks

You had barely seen him, as he was so busy going back and forth from the castle, meetings, and he had banned everyone from his office. It had gotten so bad that he would "postpone" his meals, but nobody had seen him eat in a while.

You had a lot of spare time, so you did meal prep for the whole week just for Lucifer.

It was a little past noon by the time you finished, (and made Beel swear he wouldn't touch the food because you would treat him at Madam Scream's later), so you decided to make a bento box for Lucifer's lunch today with some leftover beef and rice you had.

With your protein and carbs taken care of, you prepared some roasted asparagus to add some colour to the box as well as a couple of carrots. You also added an umeboshi plum on top of the rice to match the colour of the box. (A/N I personally don't mind umeboshi on it's own, but if anyone wants to try it, I highly suggest you eat it with rice or have water on hand 😂)(oh yeah, umeboshi is a small, sour, pickled plum.)

In the final box you arranged a couple of orange slices, strawberries and grapes.

Satisfied, you brought the box and a glass of water up to his study. You didn't even bother knocking, knowing he would just send you away anyways.

You were greeted by a low growl. "Get out."

You rolled your eyes. "No. You need to eat Lucifer, and I'm not leaving until I know you've finished this."

"I don't have time for this MC. I have to-" he was cut off by his stomach rumbling.

He blushed slightly, and continued to busy himself with work.

"Please? I hate seeing you overwork yourself like this. Have you looked in the mirror lately? When was the last time you slept? Eaten? Had something other than coffee? Have you even gone to the bathroom in the past 48 hours?"

He sighed, folded his hands under his chin and looked up at you through disheveled raven locks.

"...you really aren't going anywhere until I eat." It wasn't a question, rather a statement with a trace of relief in it.

You extended the bento box out to him once more, though this time he accepted it.

"....thank you MC.....this is quite delicious. Perhaps once I'm done my work I can take you out to Ristorante Six to show my appreciation."

You pushed his hair back and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Once you're done your work, you're going to sleep. That's an order, sir."

He silently cursed himself as he felt himself blush again

You were planning to stay until he finished, but then you heard Mammon and Levi fighting.

"I'll take care of that love. Make sure you drink that water too. Also, I prepped meals for the rest of the week for you, so you have no excuse to not eat. I bribed Beel, so they should stay there, but as an extra precaution I got Satan to teach me a protection spell. I didn't tell him what it was for, so it should be fine."

He watched you close the door behind you and wondered what he did to deserve someone like you.

Mammon

He was complaining to you because his actions finally caught up with him, and tomorrow he had to go out and repay some witches with time and favours, (being a bagboy), instead of money

He started belly-aching even more when you told him you weren't interested in joining him.

Luckily you were on dinner duty tonight, so you had a legitimate excuse to leave his pity-party

However while you were making dinner, you decided to show Mammon a little bit of sympathy, and set some rice and pork cutlet aside that you could use later.

After dinner, Mammon followed Lucifer, trying to convince him to give him money.

So you had ample time to continue working on his bento.

He had a three compartment wooden box

You scooped the rice into the box, put the cutlet on top, and two thinly sliced pieces of lemon on top.

You cut up some yellow, red, and orange bell pepper to put in the top left corner of the box

In the last compartment, you cut up golden kiwi, pineapple chunks, and a couple blueberries

You were about to put it in the fridge, when Mammon came screaming into the kitchen.

"MC HELP ME LUCIFER'S MAD I DON'T WANNA GET STRUNG UP AGAIN AND- wait, what's that?"

You sighed. "It was supposed to be a surprise Mammon! I made lunch for you for tomorrow, because you're going to be doing some running around and who knows when you'll get a moment to yourself? I was going to cast a spell on it to keep Beel from eating it, so it would have lasted overnight too... I just want to make sure you have something healthy to eat and so you don't have to spend money on take out. If you don't want it though, I'll just give it to Beel..."

He blushed furiously. "Ya don't gotta worry bout me, silly human. The Great Mammon can take care of himself! But-uh, I'll probably end up taking it anyways, because it's umm, it's free food! And Mammon ain't about to pass that up!"

He tried to grab it, but you pulled it close to yourself and turned, blocking him.

"You only want it because it's free? Ok. Fine. You'll have to pay me if you want it." You teased

He whined a bit. "Aw come on, ya even said ya didn't want me spendin money tomorrow! And ya said it was for me! MC, this ain't fair!"

"I didn't say you had to use money."

The next day while Mammon was out and about, trying to carry multiple bags of stuff for the witches, he happily ate his food, a light blush on his cheeks as every bite reminded him of the way you felt against his lips yesterday.

Leviathan

Levi had lost out on another draw despite having spent copious amounts of money on the tickets

As such, he had locked himself in his room to temporarily drown in his sorrows

You decided to make Kyaraben, character bento, for him. (Kyaraben can also refer to animals, real life celebrities, or natural settings)

(I would do Ruri- Chan but I have no fricking clue, so here's a link to a recipe for Pikachu Kyaraben because that's what you did instead)

Hesitantly, you brought your creation to his room and lightly knocked on the door.

"...I don't wanna talk to anyone right now."

"Levi, it's me. I brought something to cheer you up! At least let me give it to you if you don't want me to stay."

You could hear some scuffling and mumbling from behind the door. "I highly doubt there's anything a normie like you can do to help."

You tried to brush that off, because, ouch, but you knew he was upset so you tried not to take it to heart.

He was pouty as he opened the door, his demon form on display.

His expression immediately changed when he saw the bento in your hands.

"WOOOOOAAAHHH!!! THIS IS FOR ME??!! YOU MADE ME BENTO??!! This is something straight out of anime!!! Uh...uhm...d-do you maybe w-want to share it?"

The last part of his sentence had him blushing furiously, and he refused to look you in the eye.

"Sure. Maybe we can watch that anime you texted me about a couple days ago too."

His eyes lit up with joy as he used his tail to gently grab your wrist and pull you excitedly to his couch.

Once he had arranged everything to his liking, he sat down and bashfully accepted the bento.

At some point, he asked if he could feed it to you, however, there was only one pair of chopsticks

Blushy otaku very much enjoyed the bento, not only because it was like his anime, but also because it was you who made it.

He also got a couple indirect kisses, and could not focus on anything but that for the next few days.

Satan

You and Satan had been spending a lot of time together lately because he was helping you study for a test

Thanks to Satan's tutoring, you had managed to get a much higher score on the test than you had imagined.

As thanks, you wanted to make a kitten Kyaraben

You found him in the library at a desk, hunched over a book, studying some foreign language.

He was so engrossed in his studies that he didn't notice you right away, so you tapped him gently on his shoulder.

"Ah, MC. I'm afraid I missed you coming in. Are you alright?"

You smiled and nodded. You brought the box out from behind your back with your test papers on top, the mark clearly visible.

"I couldn't have gotten that mark without your help, so I made you some bento as thanks. I hope you like it."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Oh MC, that wasn't necessary. Spending time with you was enough for me, but thank you."

He slid the lid off the bento and chuckled when he saw what you had done.

"That's quite clever kitten. Perhaps next time you can show me how to make it?"

His pet name made you blush a bit, but that didn't stop you from agreeing.

You two spent the next few hours discussing different meals you guys could learn to make together.

Asmodeus

Asmo had been taking you shopping lately, hyping you up and helping you destress with spa nights

In return, you decided to make a dessert bento box in a pretty pink container.

It was a square container split into nine compartments.

Across the top three compartments, you arranged a rainbow of mochi.

On the bottom three you arranged a rainbow of macaroons.

In the two outside compartments left, you put a mini Wicked cupcake in each

Finally in the middle, you arranged Hershey's kisses into a heart.

Satisfied, you made your way to his room and announced your presence at his door.

"Come in darling~ I'm just finishing up my nails!"

You let yourself in and settled across the table from Asmo.

"I brought you something. I just wanted to thank you for helping me out lately and show you how much I appreciate you!"

You placed the box next to him so he could see what you had done.

His squeal of excitement almost decimated your eardrums, however moments later you were enveloped in a very tight, heartfelt, "smooshy" hug, but his elated expression made up for your temporary loss of hearing.

"Ohh MC! You're so sweet!!!! These look delicious, let's share them!! Just let me take a picture first with my favourite snack!!"

You sat back and expected him to pick up a cupcake, but yelped as he pulled you into the frame.

"I said with my favourite snacc MC, and I meant it!!" (Yes, he still took a picture of the bento)

Beelzebub

You wanted to plan an outdoor date for the two of you that wouldn't require you to excersize.

So you decided to try and make Koraku Bento, or picnic bento, but even bigger in hopes you would be able to temporarily satiate Beel's hunger

Because you were making so much, you needed multiple boxes, and a couple days to prepare, so you asked Simeon if you could work at PH so Beel wouldn't get to it early.

Of course, he agreed

Day one, you prepared five different fillings for the Onigiri you were planning to make: sha-ke (salted salmon),umeboshi (Japanese pickled plum), okaka (bonito flakes moistened with soy sauce), kombu (simmered kombu seaweed), tuna mayo (canned tuna with Japanese mayonnaise)

Day two you prepared three large protiens, (chicken, beef, and pork), each enough to fill about two containers each. You cooked each of them differently. You also cut up/prepared vegetables you wanted to use for tempura.

Day three you woke up early in order to be ready to take Beel out after his game. You made rice and finished making the Onigiri, (which Luke was adamant you let him make with you).

And Simeon helped you make the tempura and a beautiful salad to accompany everything else.

However, now there was a lot of stuff to carry and you wanted to greet Beel out of his game.

So the angels took care of transporting the food to the roof while you went to get Beel

"Why are we going to Purgatory Hall? Are we having dinner with the angels?"

"Not quite. The date I wanted to take you on had a slight change of plans. We just need to get to the roof-"

"Do you want me to fly us up there?"

You considered it for a moment then agreed. If nothing else, you would be avoiding Solomon.

Once you landed, appreciation for the angels swelled as they had laid everything out so beautifully.

"...oh. It looks like someone else is doing something up here. It smells really good, so we should probably go. I don't want to eat someone else's food and ruin their night by accident....again." He tried to leave, but you pulled on him gently.

"I'm glad you think it smells good. This is for you! I made it for you, and the angels helped me bring it up here when I went to pick you up."

His eyes widened. "...All of that...you made it for me?"

You couldn't help but smile and nod at his bashful expression.

He hugged you gently. "Thank you MC. I know that took a lot."

"It was worth it! You haven't even tried it yet. Come on, I'm hungry!" You giggled.

Beel's stomach growled in response, causing a slight blush to light his cheeks. You're so good to him❤

Belphegor (this has a bit of crack energy, I'm sorry. So will Solomon's😅)

"MC....can you pass me my D.D.D?"

"MC....can you give me a massage?"

"MC....can you switch my laundry for me?"

"MC....can you pass me my pillow?"

"Belphie, I love you. I understand you're the Avatar of Sloth. But what the actual fuck? Your pillow is under your arm, just move it under your head. I've already gotten up, like six times to do stuff for you."

He groaned. "But it takes too much effort!" He smushed his cheek into his arm and attempted to give you puppy-dog eyes.

"Sorry, only Beel can pull that off. If you want your pillow moved less than a foot, you're going to do it yourself. You of all people should now how frustrating it is to get up as soon as you sit down."

He groaned again and grumbled as he moved his own damn pillow.

You tried to relax a bit. Normally your time with Belphie consisted of cuddles, movie nights, planeterium visits, or just plugging into some music and enjoying each other's company, like you were trying to do now.

Until you made eye contact with him again.

He was going to ask something-

"MC........... can you get me a snack?"

Dear God, he was not gonna like this.

"Of course Belphie. I'd love to."

You made your way to the kitchen with new found energy.

You were going to make Shikaeshi Bento (revenge lunchbox)

Basically, it's supposed to be inedible or embarrassing, and be used to convey anger or overall dissatisfaction

So you grabbed his bento box, dumped uncooked rice into it, cracked an egg and left the shell in the box. You used purple food colouring to make a heart.

You brought the box up to Belphie, who was surprisingly still awake

"That was quick."

You grunted in response and walked out

"Hey why are you leaving?!"

A few seconds later, you heard, "MC! ...WHAT DID I DO??!! I JUST WANTED A SNACK!!...MC PLEASE COME BACK I DON'T WANNA GET UP!!"

Diavolo

So, usually Barbatos is in charge of making sure the Demon Prince eats

However, you told Barbatos that you wanted to make something special for Dia

"My Lord would thoroughly enjoy anything you made for him. He's been very busy lately, so I'm sure he would appreciate the kind gesture."

Barbatos graciously gave you precedence over the kitchen, giving you full access to everything you could ever need or want.

You decided to make him bento with your favourite protein

One compartment you filled with rice, using sesame seeds and an umeboshi for garnish

You arranged pieces of your favourite fruits in one of the smaller compartments

Then you made your favourite type of tempura, and prepared the sauce to go in the last two compartments

You asked Barbatos where Diavolo would be, and he escorted you to his office.

"My Lord, MC has come to speak with you."

Diavolo's head shot up and his face lit up with delight as he watched you walk through the door.

"MC! A welcome surprise. How are you? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine! I actually just wanted to give you something." You gave him the black box.

"I made bento with some of my favourite things...you mentioned wanting to get to know me a little bett-"

You were cut off by Diavolo crushing you in a hug

"...My Lord, MC needs to breathe."

"Ah, my apologies MC. This is the most wonderful, meaningful thing anyone has ever given me. How can I adequately express my gratitude? Simply name anything you want, and it shall be yours."

Once you had regained your breath, you gave him a small smile.

"Anything? Could I trouble you for your time?"

"MC, Lord Diavolo must finish his work in a timely matter. I can clear his schedule for afterwards."

"Barbatos, could they stay long enough for us to share the wonderful meal they've prepared?"

Usually Diavolo's begging and sad eyes™ would be powerless against him, however the soft spot he had for you and your much- less-seen sad expression were enough for him to bend this once.

"My Lord, I'll be back in an hour. I'm afraid that's all the time I can allow."

He stepped out, and allowed a small smile form on his face as he heard the two of you celebrate, also knowing that later on he would be listening to a very happy prince recount everything you two talked about and how much he loved you.

Barbatos

You, the brothers, and the other exchange students had been invited to the demon lord's castle for another event

It wasn't for another day, but you felt your chest tighten as you remembered Barbatos

Did he even get to eat those days when everyone was there?

You didn't want to take that chance, and decided to set up a small, filling bento box.

It only had three compartments, so you stuffed each one.

One had rice and meat.

You made some sushi and tamagoyaki to go on top.

For the last compartment, you made a simple chickpea salad.

The next day, Barbatos welcomed you all to the castle, as per usual.

However, this time he stuck around once the brothers and others had left.

"I...Well you already know, but this is for you!"

He nodded and graced you with a smile. "My knowing does not take away from my appreciation MC. Admittedly, nights like this are very demanding. I will repay you later. Thank you."

He tried to walk away, but you yelled after him, "You're not supposed to repay someone for a gift! Just take it!!"

He smiled to himself as he started to eat some food.

Perhaps this night would not be as taxing as he thought

Simeon

You had been experimenting new dinner recipes with Luke at Purgatory Hall; you were watching him while Simeon was away.

"If we leave these leftovers out, Solomon will get to them and ruin them."

"....why don't we make bento for Simeon? He's coming back tomorrow, isn't he?"

Luke beamed at you. "Okay!"

He went to get a small bento box divided into fifths (two large bottom compartments and three small top ones).

"Ok, so in one of the big ones, we can fit the rest of the rice."

Luke nodded. "Can I use this?" He held up a star-shaped cookie cutter.

"Of course!" You helped him mould the rice into a stable star shape.

He looked so happy designing stuff, you let him take the lead.

By the time you were finished, it was easily the most stunning dish you had seen.

"Wow MC! We should do this more often!" He was very proud of himself, and rightfully so. "I can't wait to give it to Simeon!....Is it ok if I give it to Simeon? It was your idea, so it's ok if you want to do it instead..."

You just smiled at him. "You can give it to him, you did most of the work anyways. For now though, you need to get to bed."

He pouted slightly, but complied.

The next morning you woke up to Luke speaking very animatedly to Simeon.

"Yeah! We tried a bunch of new things, and then MC suggested we make you a bento box with the leftovers, and it turned out really well so I can't wait for you to try it!!"

You leaned against the kitchen doorframe observing the interaction.

"Thank you Luke, it looks wonderful. Good morning MC. I hope you slept well. Thanks for ba- for helping Luke while I was away."

He smiled gently at you before Luke was trying to get him to try the bento again.

He took a bite and smiled at Luke.

"It's delicious. You guys must have put a lot of love into it, as always." He looked directly at you at that point, but Luke was too elated to notice the silent exchange between you too.

Solomon

"Don't get mad at me! You agreed to test spells with me!"

"You asked me when I was half asleep Solomon! I also meant later, not right away!"

"Well, you're not a frog anymore, so I don't see what the problem is."

.... No, you weren't a frog anymore

That didn't mean you were happy about being a frog in the first place.

You texted Simeon, 'Who's on lunch duty today?"

"Me. Why?"

"I'll make us bento. We can picnic, the exchange students, that is."

So you spent the next little bit making normal bento for the three of you.

"Simeon said we should probably leave in five minutes" you thanked Luke and started on Solomon's.

You made Shikaeshi bento; you cracked four eggs and aligned their yolks into a rather phallic shape, added way too much fish oil, and threw a few sesame seeds on top.

However, once you made it to the picnic grounds, Solomon opened his box and gasped.

"MC, you know me so well!" And proceeded to drink right out of the box, the rest of you looking on in horror.

"I thought you were mad at me and you were going to give me something disgusting like Mac and Cheese. I guess all is forgiven. Thank you!"

At that point you couldn't even stay mad, that was just disgusting.

Aye, I hope you liked it anon, not sure if this is quite what you meant but....yeah.

Love y'all!

Masterlist

[thed4rkhand]

So today we’re doing Yoongi’s chart and my analysis of it. Let me make it clear right off the bat, that since I’m not a professional astrologer, some things may not match up, further since we’re not super sure of his birth time, it’ll definitely affect the reading. What I can be sure of is that I’ll do my best and I’m completely open to constructive criticism from you all!

Now lets get on with some basic stuff, for those who have not yet read the post with Namjoon’s moon analysis, I’ll again reiterate some principles of Vedic astrology! In the scenario that you’re still confused with all this jargon, feel free to reach out and I’ll be more than happy to help you out.

Starting out, we have to note that while western astrology is usually more advisory in nature, Vedic astrology’s main purpose is to predict. Also, we usually go a sign back from western astrology (24’ back to be more precise) in Vedic astrology, so according to that for example, if you’re a libra rising, you become a virgo rising in Vedic astrology and so on and so forth. All planets will also shift back a sign, so a Capricorn Mercury will become a Sagittarius Mercury.

Now let’s be aware that the chart may be a bit different, but given the main d1 (Lagna) chart remains the same for about 2 hours, let’s focus on that and the moon chart (rashi chart) for this reading. We can also just look at d9 for strength but not house placements as that can be time sensitive. So, we can take a two hour margin of time discrepancy and still predict accurately.

For this reading, we have taken 9th March 1993 as the day and 7:30am as the time of birth, with the location set to Daegu.

OTHER THAN THIS, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO DO A BIRTH TIME RECTIFICATION FOR YOONGI LATER ON SO WE CAN GET MORE ACCURATE PREDICTIONS.

Since this is a general chart analysis, we shall be covering topics briefly and discussing the moon, ascendant and sun. For an in depth reading, do pick a smaller and focussed topic as we can honestly keep going on and on about a chart.

THIS READING WILL BE DONE IN SEVERAL 4 PARTS, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDANT, MOON, SUN AND MISCELLANEOUS.

Lets get started then-

Right off the bat, we can see that Yoongi is born into Pisces, with his ascendant at 10’35’, within the Nakshatra of Uttarabhadprada, within the 3rd quadrant or pada. He has venus situated in the lagna itself, in Pisces, thus exalted. His lagna lord, Jupiter, is in the 7th house, conjuct with the Moon, in the sign of virgo, where jupiter gains the upper hand despite mercury (lord of virgo) being enemies. The lord is directly aspected by mars in the fourth house. The lord of the birth Nakshatra is Saturn here, which sits in the 12th house, conjunct sun and mercury (dispositer of the ascendant lord). Lastly, moon, jupiter and rahu aspect the lagna of this chart. Of course there is so so much more here, but we’ve got a whole chart to cover!

(p.s I can already see this is such a fun chart to read)

Getting on with the reading, we firstly see that he’s born under Pisces lagna, this makes the native calm and collected, as well as fond of philosophy and psychology. What we often forget is, people born under Pisces are said to have been born under all the other signs in their past life, and cumulatively they use their skills and knowledge from those lives in their current one. Remember how on Bon Voyage trips and just about every RunBts, saga seems like the ‘dad’ of the bunch? cooking, cleaning, fixing stuff Joon broke, producing music and the stuff? And all those times that he is so very understanding of other? He doesn’t scold Jungkook, let alone anyone else? These are typical Pisces traits. They’re very domestic and understanding by nature, because they’ve been there before in a past life, and enjoy taking care of people.

The downside to this? They can be extremely manipulative if they want to be, they know exactly what to say, when to say, to whom to say and so on. They have an alarming grip on people’s emotions, and have a magnetic quality to them. Further, this is mostly an observation, you’ll often notice that most pisces natives are fond of alcohol (could be because they exist in a water sign? Could be because its the natural 12th house ruler of addictions too?)

Coming to the Nakshatra here, we have UttaraBhadrapada, the second last Nakshatra of the series. This Nakshatra is ruled by Saturn, and the presiding deity being Ananta or Ahir Budhyana, the deep ocean serpent in hindu mythology. The deity Ananta represents boundless expansion, be it of fortune, goodwill or knowledge. Ahir Budhyana, is a sattvic (sacred or untainted) form of lord Shiv, and resides at he bottom of the ocean. He represents the liberation from illusions and attainment of spiritual enlightenment and knowledge. The natives of this Nakshatra here embody these qualities of their deities. We see them as philanthropic and reserved beings, who enjoy learning about a variety of subjects and spirituality. Such people are extremely progressive in their thinking patterns, and often a magnetic pull like the deep ocean serpent has.

They’re extremely controlled and calculating in their approach, and think more than speak. This by no means is to say that they don’t speak, because such people are great orators by nature. They stand up for the underdogs and have a unique approach to topics. They are extremely interested in occult and metaphysical practices and theories. They however commonly don’t obtain higher education or do well in fields of fine arts, even their primary education is not something they excel at. (i once read that yoongi really likes reading about a variety of subjects, and also Paulo Coelho, definitely his UttaraBhadrapada here)

The bad side to this Nakshatra? They’re very critical and over-analyze everything and everyone. Sometimes, even unconsciously, they manipulate people to suit their needs and whims. They get side tracked too often and have difficulty focussing on one task at hand, often amounting to laziness in other people’s eyes, even if the native is extremely hardworking in reality. However when in comes to personal care, they tend to do things in a very half-hearted manner. These people are also prone to isolating themselves from others, especially when things get hard. Due to the sign falling in pisces here, people also tend to have many different mental burdens and disorders, which arise from their constant scatter-brained self and inability to make out between the spiritual and real realms.

They can also be heavy drinkers and abuse substances in such a Nakshatra, or enjoy partaking in occult practices while under influences. They might’ve also faced a very rough childhood with such a Nakshatra, neglected and misunderstood by people around him. The natives could also have moved away from their parents during their early adulthood for education or job purposes. Such people can have health issues like hemorrhoids, stomach ailments and hernias. Usually they lead a stable period full of health and success in the latter part of life, say about after 48 years(since the south node Ketu matures as 48).

Since Suga’s Nakshatra falls into the third pada or quadrant, its ruled by libra here. Libra here focusses on balance and cooperation. Such people may make a living working with other people, or in industries related to entertainment. They may make great debaters, and think excessively about what other think of them as. They’re very conscious of other’s opinion, even if they don’t show it, so we often find such people wearing extremely covered up and baggy clothes for example, or keeping a low profile. They may have a very practical and unbiased approach to most things in life. Such people are intensely into spiritual practices and often times fully devote themselves at hours at a time to worship of gods, angel or other beings. They may be the type to attract people very easily, or even be the kind to fall in love extremely easily.

The second placement we come to, is Venus in the first house, in Pisces. Venus here is naturally exalted (most powerful). Sure ill give you the generic explanation in a bit but, do you know which type of people usually have this placement? Actual saints and famed occultists. Sure many people within the entertainment industry too, but this placement can hands down be one of the most spiritual and divine placements of Venus in the chart. First ill go ahead and give the normal meaning and effect, and then lets dive into the crazy stuff (istg his chart is so goooood). Such people usually have really magnetic personalities, and given Venus is in Uttarabhadrapa, these are the people who you don’t notice at first, but then its like a whirlpool of being invested in them, as opposed to being in Revati Nakshatra (another Piscean nakshatra) which would be a more dramatic pull, based off an extroverted personality. These people can be very good looking, more feminine looking, could definitely look like their mothers with this position. Brilliant luck in fields of arts and entertainment and also genius level of creativity and talent. Here, people can have brilliant luck too, like god’s hand on their head kind. Accumulation of wealth and property can also be seen here.

Now onto the really fun stuff. These people are actually rarely concerned with someone’s exterior, because often times such people have such good intuition and spiritual powers (some are literally called mystics because of this), they can literally see through someone. For this reason, they actually don’t like associating with too many people, despite having a very charming personality. These are the kind of people that keep searching for ‘the one’. These people often give up everything and go ahead and become priests. The calling to god with such a placement is very strong. They also don’t like collecting too many material possessions, as they feel its redundancy in this very changing world. These people hold the few people they’re close to, very very tightly to themselves. These people also may have a very low sexual drive actually, (i know, I know, how can a strong Venus do this?) because an exalted Venus is about devotion to god, to one person, and leaving sensory pleasures behind in life. A debilitated Venus on the other hand (eg. Jungkook has one) might make someone very invested in worldly matters. These people are happy with being alone and single for a long time, they’re very satisfied with their own company. Such placements can make someone practice magick or astral projection too. (Venus in 12th sign of liberation, liberation from physical body)

Given that in this chart, Venus is his 3rd and 8th lord, we can make further deductions. Firstly, since 3rd lord is going 11 houses away, its an extremely auspicious placement here. Self made person, making wealth through communication, can also have very witty and intelligent responses to things. Since the third house also represents courage and valor, this can make someone very fearless and say whats on their mind bluntly. Since the 3rd house is part of the Kama Trikon houses (houses of desire), this going into the 1st house, which is a part of the Dharma Trikon houses (houses of morality), gives interesting results here. Firstly, such people are fiercely independent, and hate to be disrupted when there pursuing their goals and working towards them. They hate to take help from anyone, and as a result are extremely competent. secondly, such people have a moral high ground, to which they religiously abide. They’re extremely righteous and stand up for those who wouldn’t be able to for themselves. Since from here, it aspects the 7th house of agreements, such people are great at understanding and signing contracts for work.

Now with the 8th house, we have a bit of a conundrum here honestly. It belongs to 2 types of houses, the moksha trikona houses (houses of salvation) as well as the Dushtana houses (evil houses). While this placement isn’t all that bad, it isn’t he best either. firstly though, this is a placement where the native always wins over their enemies (8th lord 6 houses away from itself), be it enemies as in people, or simply obstacles in their life. This also confers a long lifespan to people, given that his 8th lord is also exalted here. However such people are prone to accidents, given that the 1st house is the body, 8th house is sudden events and the natural 8th ruler mars is a karka or signifactor of vehicles. Such people are also against organized forms of religions, since the Dushtana lord is sitting in a dharma house. The native is also extremely private and secretive given the 1st house of self has the 8th lord of secrets sitting in it. Since it also aspects the 7th house of other people, this person has that aura of mystery about them because of this. Such people are deeply critical in nature but can have extreme wisdom in cases of hidden objects or matters of the occult.

Now coming to his aspects. His Venus is aspected by moon, Jupiter and Rahu. The first two are benefic in nature and the latter is malefic. Moon-Venus and Jupiter-Venus are also mutually aspecting each other in pairs here. Moon here gives Venus the property of being constantly cynical of themselves regards to what others may perceive them as, given moon is emotion and the 7th house here is other people. Their thoughts here are deeply influenced by other people, they may always keep serving other people too, through acts of service. This also makes someone who falls in love very easily, but it is important to engage this person’s mind in a relationship, they just cant do without an emotional bond here. Since Moon also represents fame in a chart, this makes a person very famous, as they receive attention from many people, and people want to analyze them, and enjoy their work and presence.

Jupiter here, makes the person level headed and practical. The person wouldn’t be all touchy feely with people they like, because they would like to remain more in control of the situation here. They’d rather engage in a full blown debate with someone, than hold hands. This also makes them very worldly and teacher like, while also being attracted to very worldly people themselves.

Rahu’s aspect on the other hand, makes someone stand out in a crowd (Rahu signifies an outcast), they may have a rough and cold exterior due to this. They may also have had issues with body image (1st house is self), or mental health here. These people are enamored by all things foreign, and love exploring the other cultures. They may have issues identifying with their own community at large, and may identify with the downtrodden of the society.

Now going to Jupiter and moon conjunction in the 7th house. I wont go very deep into this, as its a super interesting concept, and it’ll be better covered in the second part of the reading regarding the moon itself, so ill keep it short and related to the ascendant. Also the mutual aspect part will be explained in more detail in the miscellaneous section later. Plus this is getting far too long for even me now.

Getting on with the reading for now, moon and Jupiter here are in virgo, in a loose conjunction (one is at approximately 2’ and the other at 18’). This is actually one of the not very yogas (combinations)in a chart, about 15% of people have these. Its called the Gaj-Kesari yoga (the elephant and lion combination), because people with this are so extremely lucky, its like the kings of the jungle are together to support it. They have the wisdom of the elephant and the courage of a lion. This is a raj yoga (royal combination). a native born with Gaj-Kesari Yoga is intelligent, strong, and prosperous. Gaj or Elephant possesses immense strength and is devoid of pride and the Lion is known for his foresight and skillful intelligence as well as his strength, quickness, skillful leadership, ability and courage. Thus, when Gaj-Kesari Yoga is formed then that person is extremely successful. They will be a kind and philanthropic person, who will always have sympathy for others. They will be quite humble regarding work, would like to talk nicely to people and aim to attain spiritual progress in life. Many people will recognize them as their mentor or guide and will act according to their instructions or advice. They may have a tendency attracting people and people being magnetized by them. They will be blessed with abundant wealth and become the owner of movable and immovable property(cars as well as homes). They will establish relationships with rich and reputed people of the society and enjoy all kinds of material pleasures in life.

Since this occurs in virgo, it makes a person intelligent, sharp and gifts them with amazing memory power. Such a person is knowledgeable and can become the head of a large educational institution. He may own incomparable wealth and can earn a good name and money from business as well. Often such people earn a high reputation in the Stock Market and make progress in life by working in any financial institution or insurance sectors.

Here jupiter in particular makes someone extremely cynical in nature, and their mind is always, and I mean always, thinking about romantic relationships or platonic ones. However given that jupiter is also the 10th lord here, they could be extremely focused on work too. Their life is surrounded by contracts, and may work with others for a living(7th house is house of courts and partnership). They could be very interested in the financial sector here, they could be extremely money minded and money means stability to them. Moon here on the other hand makes the person very moody, and extremely dependent on their spouse or colleagues. Since it rules the fifth house here, it signifies that such people are extremely creative in their work, may work for children or young adults, have a lot of past life karma related to work, and also that they’re extremely devoted lovers. They tend to criticize their close friends and loved ones, just because they’re so cynical and blunt, and want the absolute best for people. They may hurt people’s feeling without realizing it sometimes. (this was very brief but refer to point 12)

Now coming to Saturn in 12th, as the lord of the birth nakshatra. Saturn over here signifies working in the fields of music, but given saturn represents electronics, it could mean a producer too. Since its in Aquarius here, a sign of dual lordship, this resents a constant up and down of mood and life spirit. The person with such a placement is confused with what truly makes them happy in life, the spiritual realm or the materialistic realm. They keep going up and down the path of being spiritual, till 36 years (saturn matters at 36). They may face a lot of mental disorders here. They may have trouble sleeping at night. Given saturn is also work, they may earn through foreign sources in life. Such a person invests money into properties (saturn is houses) and lacks liquid cash. The person may have a weak left eye (12th house is left eye). They may earn from multiple sources in life, and have multiple talents. Such people have low sex drives as saturn is a dry eunuch planet, and in the 12th house of bed pleasures, it may not allow native to enjoy it. They may not be interested in worldly pleasures with such placements.

Lastly (finally?), we have to discuss the looks! Pisces ascendents usually have the short to medium height, and tend to appear a little fuller even when they’re very scrawny. (its because jupiter is the largest planet). Uttarabhadrapada natives tend to have a very innocent look to them, a very calming nature and vibe. however, like the deep sea serpant, they have very deep and magnetic eyes, and a very expressive face (yoongi memes). They usually have a very beautiful smile, and can literally attract people with it (again the snake like quality). They tend to have a very blank look usually, and if you ever notice, they’ll have the most stunning eyelashes actually, given the yoni is the female cow. They might also have the habit of moving their mouth around when their thinking, quite like ruminating.

Given venus sits here, is gives the person very attractive, effeminate features. Think extremely renaissance type of soft features. It can give them very delicate hands and feet with such a placement. The moon aspect here, gives them a rounded face and pale skin. They might have sparkly eyes and a roundish appearance here, also the tendency to gain weight around their face, with short necks. They make also look much younger than their actual age.The jupiter aspect again makes the native very other worldly looking, almost like you can imagine them in a dark robe literally performing rituals. It gives people a calm and teacher type of vibe to them. The rahu aspect usually just blows qualities out of proportion. Have you seen how small and angelic suga looks compared to the other? (not saying they’re not angelic but still), thats the rahu aspect. Again, rahu aspects only get better with time.

So this was my analysis! If anyone has any questions or doubts, hit me up! Let me know if you enjoyed it!

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

kisses and cuddles

wooooooooo time for some more fluffy shit yall i loved making this so much this sorta relted to my weed garden fic but you dont need to read it (be cool tho)

Ruby was sitting in the cafeteria with Oscar and penny she was too tired to pay attention to what the two were talking about penny sitting across from her and Oscar was excitedly talking about something while Oscar liens looking interested she’s unsure how he’s so put together they were both up late hanging out dreading comics and it’s only 7 am she leaned on Oscar and closed her eyes hoping to get a little more sleep before She had to do missions she had a relatively short one today only a search and destroy so maybe she could get home fast and take a nap Oscar nudged her shoulder and she lifted her head “hey don’t fall asleep if you don’t eat you’ll be grumpy” he says she fakes a pout and starts eating the gross cafeteria food she assumed that atlas food would be good sense it’s so many rich folks but no she’s actually had  better tasting mres or maybe she was just getting spoiled eating Oscar and rens cooking “ruby why are you so tired did you have trouble sleeping” penny says drawing circles on the table with her finger “no me and Oscar were up late last night and I only slept like three hours“ penny frowns “while I am happy you and Oscar are spending time together you require at least 6 hours of sleep for maximum field efficiency” ruby just nods “so why don’t you seem tired Oscar you couldn’t of slept anymore than I did” she says with a yawn he shrugs and says  “I guess I’m used to it I had to wake up early back home so I always didn’t get a bunch of sleep” penny raises a finger “actually according to my scans  Oscars brain is only running at 89% efficiency and his hear rate is faster from his normal 48 beats per minute to to 51 it is likely that he simply better at hiding his tiredness” Oscar slumps “penny do have everyone’s heart rates memorized” he says exasperated “yes I also have all of your medical charts on file and criminal records why” he raises a brow “criminal record?” Penny nods “yes several of your team have criminal records qrow having the longest with 22 counts of public intoxication as well as 3 of public indecency and” ruby raises her hands “trust me you don’t wanna know the rest they had to make a new law for one of the things he did but who else has charges?” she tries to wake herself with conversation and it sorta works she also learns some new and unsettling things about her friends but eventually breakfast ends and she starts to get her gear ready she’s loading rounds into one of crescent roses magazine when someone knocks on the door to her locker room “it’s open” she calls out and incomes  Oscar he’s holding a small Tupperware box and a small metal tumbler “hey I wanted to give this to you before you go” he says with a sheepish grin he sets the box next to her and hands her the tumbler it’s warm and smells good “it’s coffee, don’t worry I added way too much sugar for you and the other thing is a surprise you said you don’t eat a lot on missions so I made it for you it’s a bit of an experiment so tell me if it’s bad” she’s grinning ear to ear and stands up from her weapon bench and hugs him “you are the best and I’m sure it’ll be great” she gives him a kiss on the cheek she’s been slowly trying to work her way up to kissing him on the lips but nose and cheek kisses were enough for her he smiles and his cheeks get all rosey  and he hugs her back and says “be careful ok sorry I know you can take care of yourself but just you know“ she squeezes him a little “yeah don’t worry I know  I’ll be careful and when I get back we are so taking a nap mister I’m not that tired” he giggles and looks up at her with a smile  “you won’t hear me complain and uh before you go could I uh kiss you like um on the lips” he says nervously she leans down pressing her forehead to his and smiles she smells his breath it smells like chocolate and coffee she feels her cheeks heat up to match his and says “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now are you sure you want to ” he nods his head wordlessly she takes his hand and gently presses her lips to his its short and maybe a little clumsy but it makes her heart soar when she breaks the kiss Oscars breath shakes slightly  and a little panic starts to fill her did she mess it up did he hate it and then he smiles and it all fades away “that was really nice” he says rubbing her knuckle with his thumb then there’s a knock on the door frame she looks up and weiss and Blake are standing there weiss looks annoyed and Blake is grinning “time to go ruby morning Oscar” wiess says already turning to walk away ruby quickly gathers crescent rose and Oscars gifts and says “bye Oscar I’ll be careful byeee” and dashed out the door behind the others Blake nudges her shoulder “your lucky I made weiss wait  ,god you two are adorable” ruby squeaks “will you stop spying on us”  “we weren’t spying you two dolts left the door open” weiss says annoyed 

 The mission was boring as she thought it was gonna be how normal soldiers couldn’t handle this she’ll never know on the airship ride home she opens   the box Oscar gave to her a note on top says “have a great day and stay safe” she smiles at the note and sticks it in her ammo pocket  it looks like a brownie is some kind and yang leans over and says “where did you get that”

“Oscar made it for me” she says taking it out of the container it smells like a peanut butter protein bar “ooo come on share with me pleassss” yang says putting her hands together “ugh your lucky I’m a good sister” she breaks off a small piece and hands it to yang and takes a bite of her own and it’s amazing it Taste like a peanut butter brownie but somehow better it’s somehow not dried out or crumbly yang seems to have a similar opinion “god if you don’t marry Oscar i will his food is too good”yang says with a laugh  she kicks yang in the leg “I know right I can barely eat the cafeteria food anymore” her and yang chat a bit about food until they finally land Oscar is standing on the landing pad waiting for her she bounce on her heels excitedly despite how tired she is when the door finally opens she rushes out to hug him “how did it go” he asks wrapping his arms around her shoulders “oh it was easy but soooo boring I don’t know why they asked us to do it” she says leaning into him he chuckles “well I’m glad it wasn’t dangerous at least did you like it” he asks sheepishly she puts her head on his “yeees brothers it was great what was it” he unwraps his arms and looks at her “there’s no name for it yet but it’s kinda like a protein brownie was it too grainy or anything what about the after taste” he asks “I didn't even realize it was supposed to be healthy” she puts her hands on his shoulders “Oscar I’m gonna need more of that” he smiles “happy to make some more tonight” he says proudly yang walks past and ruffles his hair “make sure to make enough for me too kiddo” and walks off “how about that nap ruby my teams still on mission so we should have some time” he says taking her hand “yes please” 

They walk back to team alpns dorm room after ruby changes into something more casual Oscar was already wearing his normal clothing he sits on his bed and smiles “I’m gonna get to have two naps today” she sits down next to him and throws her arm around him "you and your team  sure like your naps huh" he smiles as they lie back on his bed "honestly who doesn't like naps I never use to be a huge cuddler but it’s nice to have someone close to you, you know” they lie back Oscar resting his head on rubies shoulder “well I do  wish my team took naps together sometimes yang is a big cuddler too but Weiss  doesn’t like being warm and Blake can’t sit still even so less than you” he snorts as he takes her hand running his thumbs along her knuckles  “well I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind you joining our naps if have to ask but i'll warn you ren sits up in his sleep  Jaune snores and i talk in my sleep” she raises an eyebrow “you didn't last time” she says “that's cause we were smoking  but if i take a nap or if im really tired you can actually talk and I'll talk back” she grins “well what do you talk about”  he rests his head on her chest “usually about my aunt or all yall but Nora has told me i say lots of stuff about you if i'm asked” he says his cheeks getting just a tiny bit rosy she grins and plants a kiss on his nose “well i hope i get the chance to ask but i'll probably fall asleep first im super tired” she rolls over and wraps herself around him oscar adjusting to lay on her arm pulling a blanket over them "well if you can get me to talk I'll answer any question just nothing to embarrassing please" he says  “i would like to know what you have to say tho so maybe i'll try to hold out just a bit longer” she says closing her eyes as oscar lets out his relaxed sigh about half of Oscars communication was nonverbal she liked to mentally catalog the things he does when he relaxes he lets out a long almost high pitched sigh it makes her happy to hear that and it helps her relax her thoughts starts to get fuzzy as sleep takes her she wakes up a few hours later laying on her back oscar laying on top of her them both having wrapped around each other she hears quiet murmurs  coming from him to quiet to understand "Oscar are you still asleep" she whispers no response "Oscar are you comfy" he nods his head "of course I'm comfy I'm cuddling with ruby" she snickers he was definitely still asleep "who's the coolest person you know" she she's "ruby for sure she's so good at fighting and everyone trusts her I wish I was more like her" she runs her hand through his hair "how do you feel about ruby " she asked "I'm in love with her she makes me feel strong and weak at the same time when she's with me I feel like I'm safe and that we could do anything together i want to be with her forever" she's crying now "oh shit I didn't expect him to be that honest" she thinks as tears run down her face "I love you too Oscar"     she kisses the top of his head “you know i never used to want like romantic stuff and all the fluffy garbage i just wanted to be a huntress and fight grim stuff like that but you  make me want that stuff i wanna take you on dates and like hold your hand and stuff there are a bunch of things i wanna do like” she pauses resting her head on his “i forgot you were asleep for a second i'm starting to embarrass myself i do love you tho i dont know when your supposed to say that we've only been i guess dating for what 2 and a half weeks my dad always joked that huntsmen relationships move really fast nothing like holy shit we might die to move a relationship forward right but you make me feel like i don't know amazing and I love being with you you make all my worries disappear even if it's only for a little bit and i'm rambling and your not talking back” oscar lifts his head “its cause im awake and i love it when you ramble” she feels her face light on fire “w-what when did you wake up” he hums happily “around we might die  i think it was nice that stuff you said you can ramble longer if you want what that new gun you saw in that magazine” she smiles “it's a roller delayed blowback sniper rifle its a smaller caliber than crescent rose but it has a longer effective range because of the way the bore is shaped i prefer bolt actions to semi automatics for a long range rifle semi autos have there merits and stuff it's a lot lighter than crescent rose as well on account of it not also being a giant scythe you know i was thinking about carrying a pistol too crescent rose is great but shes heavy and she's also really hard to conceal  even when shes folded speaking of i need to clean her gears a bunch of dust got in them today you said you wanted to learn weapon maintenance i could teach you today if you want” “sure i can learn there's a lot of things oz knows but it's like a big library without a librarian its all jumbled up” she scratches the back of his neck “well i do not understand the dewey decimal system but i'm happy to help” they both giggle at her joke ruby keeps rambling until the rest of team alpn return 

Oscar is walking ruby back to her dorm they come to her door and they turn to face each other and oscar rubs his hands together “so ruby uh I got permission with ironwood to leave school grounds as long as someone's with me so I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out like on a date” she smiles and puts her arms around his shoulders “sounds amazing sweetie I’m free this weekend where do you want to go” he blushes and says “well I actually have something in mind but I wanna keep it a surprise if that’s ok” she kisses him on the cheek “of course casual clothes or should i dress nice” he shakes his head “i mean it's really up to you but were not going somewhere fancy just a place I think you'll like" she smiles and kisses his nose and he leans up a little so there lips are level "can i kiss you again" he asks just above a whisper her pressing her lips gently against his is her answer they  hold the kiss for a few moments Oscars hands drifting to ruby's waist when they separate  she says "i think we're getting pretty good at that" Oscar smiles avoiding her eyes "yeah um It's certainly enjoyable" they break the hug "I'll see you in the morning I'll make that stuff you like ok" he says "yes awesome you're the best Oscar good night" she says as she slips into her from her teammates giving her knowing smirks 

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Fire & Desire (Ethan x MC)

Warning: NSFW, 18+

Summary: After the funeral, Naomi heads to Ethan’s apartment for comfort. Let’s pretend that 30 diamond scene in chapter 12 didn’t happen, okay? I made up 95% of this.

A/N: Guys, I have an embarrassing amount of rewrites/drafts of this on my computer. Pls enjoy.

~v~

In order to survive the past few days, Naomi has made it her mission to get through things one step at a time. Her first goal was to survive the toxin. She did. Then it was to just get well and be discharged from the hospital. The last step was to make it through Danny and Bobby’s joint memorial service in one piece. Not only did she do that, but she delivered a eulogy flawlessly, while her friends and colleagues all fell apart at the seams and waited for her to do the same.

But now that it’s all over, now that there’s no goal to work towards especially since Naveen won’t let her back in the hospital without clearance from a therapist, Naomi has never felt more lost or out of sorts in her life.

After the memorial, Naomi went home with her roommates and she regrets it. Jackie and Elijah can barely look at her without giving her pity glances, Sienna has been trying to feed her nonstop, and Aurora has convinced them all that she’s spiraling due to her meltdown at Ethan earlier that day. So she hid in her bedroom, pretending to be asleep simply because she was tired of them.

But sleep evades her. Outside of a quick 15 minute power nap, Naomi hasn’t been able to sleep, thoughts of being back in that hospital room never too far from her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, the fear took over, gripping her and refusing to let go.

So that’s how she ended up here, in Ethan’s apartment, on his couch, nursing a glass of scotch. Being at home wasn’t an option and there’s no one else she’d rather be with, so as soon as her roommates went to bed, Naomi slipped out and made her way across town to Ethan’s place. Ethan was shocked when he found her outside of his apartment at midnight, especially with the way their last conversation ended. He wanted to scold her for taking an Uber so late at night by herself, but of course he didn’t turn her away. 

“Are you hungry?” Ethan asks, opening and closing his refrigerator a few times, as if that will make food magically appear. “I didn’t cook today, but I can probably throw something together.”

Naomi doesn’t know if her appetite still hasn’t returned or if it’s her mind playing tricks on her, as she can still taste the vomit in her mouth at the mere mention of food. “No, I’m fine for now.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay.” Ethan wants to ask questions because she’s obviously come here for a reason, but he doesn’t want to push her. “It’s late and you must be exhausted though.” He walks back to his living room and holds out a hand, which Naomi grabs. He ushers her to his bedroom. “You can sleep in here.”

His room still looks like she remembers. The king sized bed takes up most of the space, and he still has the most amazing view in all of Boston. The night is still young and bustling, the buildings all lit up.

“You’re sleeping in here too, right?” Naomi asks.

“I was going to take the guest room, or the couch.”

Naomi shakes her head. “Nonsense, you’re sleeping with me.”

Even though there’s no light other than moonlight spilling into the room, Naomi can still see his cheeks tinge pink. “I didn’t want to assume.”

“I think after our night together in the hospital, assuming will be safe. It’s cute, but we’re grown and you won’t offend my virtue.”

“Noted.” Naomi watches him as he moves around the room, a sort of anxious energy radiating off of him. He rummages through a drawer until he finds something suitable for her to put on. “Here you go.”

It’s a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from a charity 5k because of course Ethan is the type to participate in something like that. Naomi rids herself of the jeans and sweater she haphazardly threw on in her rush to leave her apartment and slips on the t-shirt, forgoing the pants. Their obvious size differences make the shirt look comically large on her like a nightgown.

“Fair warning, I don’t have a scrunchie or anything to wrap my hair in, so I apologize if you wake up to like...a lion’s mane of hair in your face.”

“I think I’ll survive.”

Naomi pulls back the covers and slides into the bed, moaning upon contact. Oh, to be rich and have fancy high thread-count sheets and a memory foam mattress. “God, I never want to leave this bed.”

“Keep making noises like that, and I won’t let you.” He doesn’t climb bed behind her, opting to sit on the edge. “You want to talk?”

“About what?”

“The fact that you’re here right now, instead of your own apartment.”

“Is it not enough to say I wanted to see you?”

Ethan scoffs. Naomi is charming, but she can’t bullshit him. “Sure.”

She doesn’t want to talk about herself. That’s all she’s done for the past 48 hours, and she’s tired of it. It’s selfish.

She manages to turn the tables on Ethan. “You look tired. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t,” Ethan assures her. “I wasn’t sleeping anyway.”

“I didn’t have you pegged as an insomniac.”

“We’re doctors, so it goes without saying that we’re all insomniacs.” Ethan sighs. “But to be honest, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep all week.”

“I get it. With the toxin, and Bobby and Danny, and Raf–”

“It’s not them, Naomi, it’s you,” Ethan argues. “I spend all 24 hours of the day with you on my brain, worrying about you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I thought you were going to die in my arms,” Ethan continues. “I tried to stay optimistic for you, but all I could think about was the fact that it could’ve been my last night with you. That night, after you finally fell asleep, I stayed up, analyzing your vitals. The only time I wasn’t looking at you is when I was looking at your chart. And every night since, I lay awake, forcing myself to not contact you.”

Naomi frowns. She’s spent so much time wrapped up in her own head, she didn’t take much time to think about how Ethan was affected as well. She’s sure she’d be a wreck if the situation was reversed, if he was the one fighting an unknown deadly agent. 

She crawls out the sheets and joins Ethan at the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think–”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me. You’ve been going through enough, I shouldn’t even be burdening you.”

“It’s fine. We shared deathbed confessions, I think I can handle whatever else you throw my way.”

Ethan turns to lock eyes with Naomi, her expression open and earnest. “I meant everything I said in there. I regret putting us on hold, and I’m sorry I wasted so much time.”

Naomi sucks in a deep breath. “Okay. So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m done pretending that I don’t have feelings for you. I’m done trying to hold you at arm’s length. I want you, Naomi.”

“Are you feeling like this because I almost died?”

“No. I mean, sure it was a major wake-up call for me, but I’ve felt this way for a long time. The last time you were here, the night of the softball game, I kissed you, and instead of making my intentions known then and there, I put it off, and that almost cost me everything. I don’t have all the answers, because I’m your boss, and people at hospitals like to gossip, but whatever this is, I want to explore it with you.” 

Naomi doesn’t say anything, her brain and heart trying to process all of this information. Ethan watches her, his heart pounding wildly. Did he seriously miscalculate her feelings for him? Did he pick the most inopportune moment to drop this on her?

“It took you long enough,” Naomi says.

He laughs, his relief evident and he grabs her hand. “Well I appreciate you having the patience of a saint, Rookie.”

“It’s because I am a saint.”

He runs his thumb along the inside of her wrist, tracing a pattern into the warm skin. The steady thump of her pulse is enough to soothe the anxiety that lingers. She’s here. She’s with him. She’s alive.

His other hand grips the back of her neck, forcing her to look him in the eye. Ethan’s gaze sweeps across her face, his 11 years as a doctor having given him a keen eye for detail. There’s her long, dark eyelashes, her full lips, her pronounced cheekbones, her button nose that crinkles whenever she’s smiling and laughing, a sight he hopes to see again soon. He doesn’t know what emotion is more overwhelming: the relief that she’s alive, or the fear that she was that close to dying.

Ethan is all too aware of the fact that he could’ve lost her. That he and Naomi would never share a quiet moment like this ever again. That she’d never know the full extent of his feelings for her, because he’d been too much of a coward to be honest a long time ago. The thought of the hypothetical makes his insides twist uncomfortably. He can’t dwell on it, not while she’s here, looking to him for comfort.

Without thinking further, his lips slowly collide with hers, pulling the younger woman into a kiss. She wastes no time, kissing him back with an unrivaled fervor that borders on desperation, but Ethan isn’t one to complain. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping her mouth until he finds her own.

The kiss sparks something inside of Naomi, a buzz building in the pit of her stomach, so potent and all consuming, it nearly startled her. For the first time in what feels like forever, the rest of the world fades away. It’s just her and Ethan, and this magical little flame between them. So she clings to it, to him, to them, and swings one of her legs over, straddling him. One arm wraps around the back of his neck, one hand tangles in the hair at the nape of his neck as she pulls herself closer. He tastes smoky like the scotch they drank earlier, and she swears the kiss alone is enough to leave her intoxicated.

Desperate for any sort of friction, Naomi rolls her hips into his. She can feel him hardening beneath her, his erection straining through the thin layers of fabric preventing them from being completely bare with each other. Unable to help himself, Ethan breaks the kiss only to let out a low, “Fuck.”

He needs to stop this. Logically, Ethan knows that putting a kibosh in this is the right thing to do. Naomi came to him because she needs a support system, and the last thing he wants to do is take advantage of her trust and manipulate her grief.

“Naomi, stop,” Ethan gently commands, hands gripping her hips in order to keep her still.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“We don’t have to do this tonight,” Ethan says. “Let’s just go to bed.”

“But I don’t want to go to bed.”

“But you should.”

“No. I want this, I want you.”

Her lips are on his jaw, kissing and biting, and it’s becoming harder for him to stay focused. “You’ve had a very long day, it’s been emotionally draining, and I’m sure you’re exhausted–”

“Oh my God, stop!” Naomi exclaims. “I don’t need another person explaining to me what I’m going through or what I’m feeling. Trust me, no one is more aware of my shitty life than I am.” She leans forward resting her forehead against his. “I get it, I’m the one who barely survived an assassination attempt, and I’m going to walk around with that for the rest of my life. For tonight, can I just be a normal girl who wants to fuck her boyfriend, or whatever the hell you are to me? Please?”

Despite the circumstances, his cock twitches almost painfully as soon as the word “boyfriend” leaves her mouth. He’s a grown ass man, he hasn’t used the term since high school, and here he is, ready to dissolve into a puddle of goo. What the hell has Naomi Valentine done to him and who is this mess of a man that she’s replaced him with?

Whatever she’s trying to do won’t work. Pushing aside her grief and trying to avoid the problem with sex isn’t a coping mechanism he’d ever recommend (not that he has any brilliant ones of his own, but still). It’s not going to fix anything in the long run. 

Naomi’s lips brush against his before giving him another teasing kiss before pulling away. “Please,” she whines. “I want you, Ethan.” Ethan has always considered himself to be a staunch man who isn’t easily swayed. Until he met Naomi. How can he be when she’s looking at him with those big doe eyes of hers, weakening his otherwise tough resolve? It may not help her tomorrow, but who is he to deny her reprieve at least right now? Saying no to her has never been a strength Ethan claimed to possess.

Not giving any sort of warning, Ethan grips the oversized shirt she’s wearing and forcefully pulls it up, barely giving her enough time to lift her arms and help with the process. Once the piece of clothing is discarded somewhere on his bedroom floor, Ethan flips their positions, Naomi’s back landing on his mattress with a soft thud.

He sucks in a sharp breath. Ethan considers himself to be a well traveled, well cultured man. He’s seen the Eiffel Tower multiple times, visited the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, driven a Ferrari through the streets of Rome, drank wine while overlooking a Napa vineyard, and more. But none of those even comes close to the sight of Naomi naked in his bed, writhing on top of his sheets, her curly hair splayed out like a crown atop her head. She’s absolutely beautiful, and he’s a goner. He’s always known it, but this moment right here, right now actually seals the deal.

“Why don’t you take a picture?” Naomi asks, jolting Ethan out of his thoughts. He feels her dainty foot running along the soft cotton of his pajama pants before traveling higher, lightly brushing his side.

He catches her foot, his strong hand wrapping around her ankle, and yanks her forward. “I don’t need to take a picture because the real thing is just fine.” Maintaining eye contact, Ethan presses a line of kisses from her ankle to the inside of her knee, smirking as he feels the goosebumps pop up along the trail he’s set. “God, it really doesn’t take much to get you going, huh?”

“Not when it involves you, no,” Naomi replies.

Ethan drops her leg unceremoniously. His hands wander until they’re hooked into the waistband of her lacy underwear, and he pulls them down quickly, deciding not to make a production of it. A hum of approval leaves his throat when he finds her already soaked for him. He runs a finger along her spreading the wetness around before pressing the single digit into her. “I like that answer.”

Her toes curl at the contact and Naomi grips the sheets beneath her. “Oh, fuck.”

“Christ, you’re tight.”

“It’s been a while,” Naomi admits, panting heavily. “The guy I was into ran off to another continent, and put us on ice.”

Ethan can tell by her tone that she’s merely teasing, but his heart still hammers wildly nonetheless. He wasted so much time, and for what? He slides another finger into her, enjoying the moan she gives him in return. “It appears I have some atoning to do, hmm?”

Naomi nods. “A lot of atoning.”

“Very well.” 

She feels him remove his fingers, and nothing makes her head spin more. Lifting herself up by her elbows, Naomi glares down at Ethan. “What are you doing? You can’t just stop!”

“Relax.” Ethan forces Naomi back to her originally flat position. “I think you know better than anyone that I’m going to take good care of you.” She chooses not to respond, because they both know the answer to that is a resounding yes.

He spreads her thighs and Naomi shivers at the gleam in his eyes, positively engraved by the way he looks at her: all lust and hunger. Desperate for Ethan to actually do something, she tilts her hips up, hoping he’ll get the hint.

Ethan chuckles and places an open mouthed kiss on the inside of her thigh. She swears she can feel herself buzzing with anticipation, her insides on fire, and all she wants him to do is just touch her.

When he finally does, she’s shocked she doesn’t combust then and there. Her head tips back and a low groan tumbles from her lips, and her thighs clamp shut so tightly around Ethan’s head, she’d be apologetic if she wasn’t so far gone. Ethan doesn’t skip a beat though, his fingers digging into her thighs and spreading them apart, and then he’s back to his original mission.

Ethan’s tongue glides through her folds with ease, stroking her up and down a few times before closing his mouth around her clit and sucking hard. Her hips fly off the bed and she grinds into him with a reckless abandon she hasn’t felt in a really long time, but Ethan splays a strong hand across her stomach to hold her down, trapping her between him and his bed.

Trying to gain a modicum of power back, Naomi grips a handful of his hair and tugs at it roughly. It’s an action that makes Ethan growl, his mouth vibrating against her.

Her little moans and cries do nothing to help the raging ego Naomi claims he has, instead they only fuel him further. He ups the ante, his two fingers sliding back into her, curling in a come hither motion and pressing repeatedly against the spot that makes her see stars.

He can tell by the vice grip she has on his fingers and the way she’s undulating against him that she’s close. And while he’s content to draw this out for as long as humanly possible, until he’s wrung every little ounce of pleasure from her that he can, Ethan is well aware that the woman occupying his bed doesn’t have that type of patience.

Giving her a bit of reprieve, he takes his mouth off of her, only moving it slightly so he can kiss the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

“God, Ethan.”

“Say my name again, Rookie,” Ethan commands. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Naomi obeys without as much as a second thought. It doesn’t take much to get her to say his name again, the word coming out as a shout in between a broken cry. Ethan smirks, satisfied with his work, and his tongue finds her clit, stroking the tiny bundle a few more times until her orgasm zips through her with the intensity of a lightning strike. Her entire body tenses up as Ethan continues to lap at her, as she rides out the aftershocks.

When she’s finally in control of her senses again, the first thing Naomi notices is how absolutely wrecked Ethan looks, eyes red and glossy, mouth and beard soaked, and she wants to do nothing more than kiss him. So she does, grabbing the back of his head and pulling him back on top of her. She can taste herself on his mouth and it makes her moan.

Impatient, Naomi reaches between their bodies and tugs at the waistband of his pants. Ethan receives the message loud and clear, and he breaks the kiss to strip as quickly as he can. She watches as Ethan flings his shirt across the room and kicks off his pajama bottoms. He isn’t the only one with above average observation skills, and she notices the slight tremble in his hands, the anticipation as intense for him as it is for her. She’d be lying if she said reducing this great and powerful man to nothing more than a shaky mess isn’t a turn on. Once his boxers are gone, Naomi looks him up and down, every part of him still as she remembered.

Her eyes zero in on his erection, painfully hard. She wraps her hand around him, stroking firmly. “My my, doctor, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like me.”

The other four letter L-word rattles around in his brain, begging to be set free, and with more strength than he thought he had, Ethan manages to keep quiet. He’d never forgive himself for such selfishness if he blurted out he loves her in the middle of sex. Naomi has enough to deal with already without that added layer of complexity.

Ethan’s thoughts are interrupted, a sharp hiss passing through his teeth as he feels her tongue languidly glide across the swollen head of his erection before taking him fully in her mouth.

He doesn’t know what will kill him first: how good it feels, or the fact that she’s staring up at him with those fucking Disney princess eyes again, feigning innocence like she’s unaware of exactly what she does to him.

He allows her to get in one more stroke of her tongue before he grabs a fistful of her hair and pulls her away. One of her eyebrows raises in question. “What’s wrong? I was just getting started.”

He drags them back into bed before answering, “I need to be inside you. You can do whatever you want to me afterwards.”

She grins at the promise of a next time. Whatever she wants? “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Ramsey.”

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise,” Ethan assures her. 

Naomi feels him, poised at her entrance and she arches backwards, too overly sensitive. Ethan’s hands are back on her hips, holding her in place, and inch by inch, he fills her. They both groan at the sensation, familiar territory but something new entirely. Her hands fly to his back, nails digging into the skin as she’s stretched to maximum capacity, uncaring if she leaves marks.

Ethan is unsure of how long they’ve been like this, but he’s nearly shaking with the restraint it’s taking him to not thrust into her. He drops his head, kissing a line across her collarbone. “Fuck, baby, I need you to let me know when I can move.”

The pet name wasn’t intentional, spilling from Ethan’s lips before he could stop it, but Naomi whimpers regardless. She hooks her legs behind his back, keeping him just as trapped as she is. “Please.”

He moves slowly, partially to give her a chance to adjust to his size, the other reason because he doesn’t want it to be over as quickly as it started. This, being inside of her again, is overwhelming and Ethan can’t believe there was ever a time he thought he could go without.

“You’re incredible,” Ethan compliments.

“Okay, say it again when I’m not in your bed. Like during a team meeting where you’re shooting down my ideas.”

“You are,” Ethan insists.

He thrusts into her again, and Naomi cries out, nails raking at his back. Surely she’s broken skin at this point, but Ethan doesn’t care. He’s never been one for pain in bed, but with Naomi, he’s willing to make an allowance, especially since it leaves way for pleasure. They move in tandem, hips moving against each other, both trying to coax out the release that’s been building. Unable to do much of anything else, Ethan leans forward, kissing Naomi again. She meets him halfway, just as eager as he is.

Eventually she has to break the kiss, and she gasps in a large breath of air, her lungs constricting tightly in her rib cage. In her distracted moment, Ethan manages to free himself of her hands marking him relentlessly, and he captures both of her wrists in one fell swoop. He holds them above her head in one hand, pressing her as deep into the mattress as possible. The new angle catches her by surprise and she can’t do anything but gasp into the air above her.

“Please.” She doesn’t even know what she’s pleading for at this point, but it’s the only word her brain can comprehend so she chants it repeatedly like a prayer until she’s shattering around him, mouth open, head tipped back, skin flush and warm. She’s perfect like this, Ethan surmises. 

It doesn’t take him more than a few more thrusts before Ethan’s own release takes control and he falls forward, leaning some of his weight onto Naomi. He doesn’t trust himself to not say or do something completely stupid, so he buries his face in the crook of her neck, biting down on the sensitive flesh.

It could’ve been mere minutes that they spent in that position, or it could’ve been hours for all Naomi knows, but when Ethan finally pulls out, he’s kissing her all over: her cheeks, her nose, her forehead.

He wraps her in a solid embrace, arms circling around her and holding her close, their erratic heart rates trying to slow down. Ethan feels at peace doing just this, holding her close to him, feeling the rise and fall of her chest.

Do you feel any better?”

That isn’t a question Naomi expects to hear right after sex, and it causes her to pause.  After a few more moments of silence, she answers, “I mean, the endorphin release was great if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It’s not what I’m asking, and you know it.”

Naomi knew going into it that the sex wasn’t going to soothe all of her hurts and be the magical solution to her problems, so she doesn’t need some major “I-told-you-so” moment from him. But for the first time in almost a week, she feels like herself again. Within the confines of these four walls, Ethan didn’t treat her like some fragile little doll, and her mind was able to take a break from overthinking.

“It was nice to turn my brain off, if only for a short time,” Naomi replies. “It was nice to not be a captive to my trauma.”

Ethan’s fingers gently graze her scalp, massaging. “Do you think you’re ready to talk to me now?”

“No.”

She’s as stubborn as ever. “Fair enough. But if we were to talk about it, I would say that you went through something horrible and traumatic, and you have to allow yourself to actually feel and process whatever emotions you have. I’d also say that you are incredibly strong, but your strength doesn’t mean that you have to bottle everything inside in order to make everyone around you feel better, especially when you’re with me. Strong people have the right to be vulnerable too.” Ethan sighs. “But since we aren’t talking about it, I’m not going to say any of those things.”

Naomi curls in closer to Ethan, comforted by his body warmth. “I think I would really enjoy hearing those things if this was a conversation we were having.”

“Good. Now whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be prepared.”

“Thank you.”

“I think it’s what good boyfriends do. Or whatever the hell I am to you. That’s what you said, right?”

“Okay, I have an explanation for getting agitated about the technical definition of our relationship.”

“Oh yeah? I’d love to hear it.”

“I was impatient and horny.”

Ethan laughs, the warm and rich sound curling around her insides. It does more to help than she’ll ever be able to convey to him. “You’re also very honest.”

“To a fault at times, yes.”

A silence settled between them again, and Naomi feels her eyelids getting heavier. Maybe she’ll be able to finally get some real sleep, not the fitful unconsciousness she’s been subjected to for the past few days.

“Thank you for indulging me tonight,” Naomi says. 

He’s going to suggest she talk to a therapist. He’s going to say it multiple times, until he’s blue in the face and she’s tired of listening. But he'll leave her alone for tonight.

“You’re welcome. Now, get some sleep. The sooner you get to bed, the sooner we wake up, and I can cook breakfast for you.”

“Mhmm, sounds like a plan, Ramsey.”

Ethan can feel her falling asleep on him. He presses a kiss into her forehead. “Naomi?”

“Hmm?”

“For the record, I am definitely your boyfriend.”

~v~

tags: @maurine07 @aka-calliope @edgiestwinter @soft-for-drake @greenbean-kylie @akshara16 @mrsramseyy @honeyandsunfl0wers @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramsey @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @trappedinfandoms @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @theeccentricbibliophile @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @mvalentine @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.12}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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The time before the actual welcoming feast seemed to stretch on forever this year. The sorting took longer than usual, or at least it felt like that, and Dumbledore's speech seemed even more repetitive and boring than it always had. Robin guessed that it was the 48 hours without a meal that had her desperately looking forward to the beginning of the feast, and seeing as nobody else seemed to be bothered by how long it all was taking, she probably was right to think so.

In her impatience, she started fiddling with whatever cutlery she had within her reach on the table, tapping her feet, nibbling on her bottom lip… until the people around her were starting to be seriously irritated by her behavior, upon which she forced herself to stop. Instead, she went for her usual inspection of the staff at the head table. What was sitting up there like? Did they ever feel observed, or were they used to it from all the time they got stared at in class? She should ask about it, at some point.

Other than a few more wrinkles here and some new robes there, things really hadn't changed; they never did. While Dumbledore was speaking in the front, the teachers behind him were unsurprisingly not paying all too much attention. Sure, they all made the impression to be listening, but when Robin followed the line of faces, she could see Sprout quietly chatting with Hooch, Trelawney taking more interest in her goblet than in her colleagues, Hagrid and Flitwick having a very subtle argument about something… and then there was McGonagall, talking to Snape as if there wasn't even a speech she ought to be listening to. Robin inevitably had to smile when she saw the two; McGonagall being very much focused on whatever she was saying, while Snape was listening carefully but pretended to be entirely uninterested at the same time. Robin realized that he might very well do that to everyone who tried to talk to him about anything of minor importance. Then again… he was always listening to whatever she was rambling about, without a single spark of indifference. The thought made her smile even more. Perhaps he simply didn't bother with the facades around her anymore because she knew better anyway.

When the meal finally started, Robin was more than happy to indulge in the different kinds of food, and somehow everything tasted better than she remembered it to. But after weeks of living off whatever was cheapest in the store that day, a fully cooked meal like this was the most luxurious thing she could think of in the first place.

"I don't think I've ever seen you enjoying your food that much." Jorien remarked after a while, and Robin had to fight the embarrassment that wanted to paint her face.

"Yeah, didn't you get any breakfast at home?" Cas chuckled while she again picked the mushrooms out of her mixed vegetables and moved them over to Robin's plate. Some things just never changed.

"Good question, you've certainly lost some weight over the weeks of summer…" Jorien added, and both girls looked at Robin expectantly for an answer.

"I had quite a bit of exercise during the holidays, more than I usually get. Running through nature all day, every day, is a workout in itself. Perhaps that's where the weight went." She only shrugged in return, putting it off as nothing like she did so often when she didn't want the girls to know the truth. "I'm sure I'll be back to normal in no time now that we're back at school."

"You should eat dessert, too, then. Your robes look too loose like that, the fit needs some curve!" Cas replied in an expert manner, and Jorien only snorted while rolling her eyes. Robin however didn't mind, and when the time came, she had dessert indeed.

When the feast was over at last and the students started filing out of the hall to head to their common rooms, the three girls were among the very last to leave, as were Simon and his friends. The group split up into three segments in the entrance hall, Cas and Jorien heading to the Slytherin common room and the Ravenclaw boys to their own, while Robin wanted to tag along with her roommates for the way down to the office. But she didn't even get to the staircase before she was whisked away from the two girls –who were accustomed to her sudden disappearances by now– and she found herself in a gloomy ground-level hallway she hadn't even known existed up to this point, with a racing heart that only changed the reason for its speeding but not its pace itself when her eyes fell onto Snape two steps away now. Bloody hell… he shouldn't do things like this if he didn't want her to just lose it at some point.

"Was that really necessary?" She huffed in amusement, and couldn't help smiling up at him anyway. "I was just on my way down to the office to find you!"

"That is precisely why it was necessary." He replied calmly, with the barest hint of a not-smirk. "I have to patrol the castle grounds tonight, Minerva asked me to switch places with her. So no sitting in the office for now."

"Lovely." Robin sighed under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back against the cold stone wall behind her. "And here I was, thinking that I would finally get to have coffee with you again after a week of being alone."

"We still can, after patrolling. Are you accompanying me like always?"

"Obviously." She gave him a small smirk once more, leaning her head to the side. "Are you making me coffee afterwards as a fair compensation like always?"

"Obviously." He rolled his eyes in feigned annoyance, which only made Robin grin more. "I must admit, a week without your insufferable self really turned out to be quite dreadful after all."

"Good. I missed you too."

"Is my house still standing?"

"Would it annoy you more if I said yes or no?" She asked innocently, rising her eyebrows once more, and her heart skipped a beat when he actually smirked for real in return. Always a delight to see, no matter how frequently it happened by now when they were alone.

They started sauntering through the hallways then, like they had done in the past school year as well, in search for students breaking curfew or any other inconveniences they could only hope not to encounter. Patrolling really was something Robin couldn't help but wonder about. Usually it meant for one professor to wander the castle alone, in the dark, without anything to do other than trying to make the night pass by as soon as possible. How dreadfully boring that must be; she was glad that she could make the dull task a little better for Snape by joining him in the misery of it at least. That way, they at least could chat and joke and bicker like always, only a bit more quietly. The portraits still grumbled at them from time to time, which however they simply ignored as they moved along. After an hour, they had caught up on the week's few events on either end, and Snape was quite obviously annoyed by the fact that Robin had spent two days without a meal. It took her a good twenty minutes to convince him that it was fine, and even more importantly, that it was in the past now and thus didn't matter anymore. Still, he seemed to be rather upset with himself about the issue, but Robin knew better than to push him, so she merely changed the topic, and eventually they were back to the usual. Other than that the night was considerably eventless.

It was only when they were passing through an almost empty sixth floor hallway when Robin picked up on a noise to her right, thus stopped walking abruptly and listened instead. Snape followed the example an instant later, and they stood in the middle of the hallway for a moment to listen to the silence, until the odd noises picked up again, from behind an inconspicuous door on the wall to their right a bit further down the hallway.

"Isn't that… just a broom closet?" Robin asked in an irritated whisper, frowning to herself first and then at Snape, until her brain made sense of the circumstances and she felt the heat creeping up her neck. "I, uh… I don't think I want to open that door."

"Neither do I." He grumbled in return, glaring at the door as if it would change anything about the awkward situation. "But as it happens to be, I will have to and you do not. So go ahead and spare yourself the embarrassment if you wish to."

"Nonsense. I'm not letting you suffer alone." She was quick to reply, then made the final few steps to stand with her back against the wall across from the door, and the very second Snape had caught up with her, she opened it with a wordless spell. It was ironic, really, that she didn't mind doing uncomfortable things in his place for the sake of sparing him from it.

The door flew open with a start, two startled yelps could be heard, and Robin's eyes fell onto two kids she had never seen before, which meant they had to be in the years below. They were still mostly dressed, it seems, and she was honestly glad for that at least. No need to make things even more awkward for anyone involved. Both the boy and the girl, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively, quickly snapped out of their shock and straightened their clothing before trying to stammer out poor excuses for what they were doing in a broom closet at this time of night. Honestly, Robin just wanted to snort at their words and actions every other second, but she kept a perfect straight face of neutrality as always while Snape held his usual speech about rule-breaking and improper behavior that she had been a witness of often enough at this point. Never on the receiving end, obviously, but they had encountered enough students out of bed during their patrols that by now she could almost mouth along with his words. She only started actually listening again when Snape turned towards her.

"Could you accompany Miss Parlow to Professor Sprout's office?" He asked neutrally, but without the scowl he had directed at the two students a mere moment before. "I will see to it that Mister Sterling finds his way to Professor Flitwick."

"Yes, of course." Robin found herself replying before she thought, and only once she had agreed so easily, she thought that he had never asked her to do this before. It definitely was an act of trust rather than a burden, she knew that, and that's why she was all the more determined to see even this easy task through.

"Who exactly are you anyway?" The Hufflepuff girl eventually asked, as Robin led her through a few more empty hallways. "No offense, but you look like a fifth year, maximum. Why on earth are YOU escorting ME?"

"That isn't of your concern." Robin replied indifferently, and she was glad that she had decided to take a shortcut to Sprout's office. Perhaps she would ask Simon about the girl, they obviously were in the same grade.

"And why on earth would you wander around with Snape at this time, or at any time really? Is this your detention or something?" The girl asked on, and Robin sent her a glare that shut her up instead of answering the questions.

A few minutes later they reached the herbology professor's office, and Robin knocked three times, then waited while the girl by her side grew more and more nervous. When Sprout opened the door at last, Robin gave her a polite smile, then explained the situation shortly and to the point upon which the girl was ushered into the office.

"Thank you, Robin, I will take care of the issue from here right away." Sprout gave her a smile in return at last, while the girl in the office behind her now looked positively startled. "Tell Severus my thanks too, will you?"

"Wait, YOU are Robin? The girl who everyone's been talking about for years?" The girl in the office asked incredulously a second later, and finally she just seemed absolutely horrified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry about what I said! Please forget I ever said anything at all, I honestly didn't mean to upset you!"

"Seems like you have inherited some of Severus' reputation after all, huh?" Sprout snickered quietly, and Robin almost had to smirk at her words in return.

"Actually, I believe that this was mostly my own doing." She replied under her breath. "Ever since that incident in my fourth year, people have been weary of me, and as it seems, rumours and legend grow stronger over time. I doubt that any of the lower years even knows what it all is about anymore, but that doesn't stop them from believing in my reputation."

"Take it as a gift, dear. It is hard to come by their respect in any way, especially when you're that young yourself." Sprout sighed quietly, then gave Robin another encouraging smile. "Well, anyway, I hope you two have a good night!"

"Likewise, thank you." Robin returned, and only when Sprout shut the door behind herself, leaving Robin alone in the hallway, she frowned at the herbology teacher's words for a moment before finally making her way back through the hallways to where she would meet Snape in the ground-level hallway they had started out in.

But again, Robin didn't get that far; Somehow, people seemed to take joy in disrupting her plans today, and it left her feeling less in control than she would've liked. This time, how could it be any different, it was Morgan who stepped into her way out of nowhere.

"Miss Mitchell, what a delight to have you back at last. For the new term, of course." He smiled at her brightly, and the hairs in Robin's neck stood on high alert in an instant.

"Professor…" She greeted him politely, but when she tried to walk around him while keeping her head low like she ought to, he blocked her way again, this time getting way too close for comfort.

"And where would we be headed?" He inquired in a bright tone as he moved in even closer, making Robin back up until her back hit the wall. Well… damnit.

"I was just on my way back from Professor Sprout's office." She replied truthfully but quietly, in an attempt to keep her facade up and play the submissive little girl. The act still made her feel sick, but she hadn't forgotten their encounter at the ball; it was very much necessary to refrain from fighting back, and she had done a fairly good job at it ever since adoption this strategy.

"I see." He sighed softly, but still refused to back up even a step. He clearly didn't mind invading her personal space, which became all the more obvious when he traced a single finger along her collarbone and down her shoulder. Robin would've very much liked to break his arm for doing that, but such a behaviour unfortunately wouldn't count as laying low. So she only stared at the ground a few steps behind him and tried not to break her act while he spoke. "After making it to honours in herbology and even giving a lecture in front of renowned professionals in the field, I'm sure you can teach Pomona one thing or two…"

"You… you know about the lecture?"

"It was in the news, darling." He purred with a sickening smile. "I still have the article in my rooms… And the picture, of course."

The thought that Morgan had kept a picture of her made Robin feel even more sour than the situation did anyway, and she honestly just wanted to hex him further down the hallway with a single spell and then dash off like her body and mind were telling her to. But that would count as attacking a teacher, and without any witnesses or proof of her story, she would always end up on the losing end of that scenario. Whatever she did, people would believe Morgan's version of it more than hers, more than the truth.

"You have lost some weight since the picture was taken…" He finally spoke on, in a nonchalant tone that still had a cutting edge to it, and at last he removed his hand from her arm. "Say, doesn't Severus feed his little pet enough?"

A cold shudder ran down Robin's spine, at the same time as her stomach churned and her heart stopped for a moment, then started racing. She felt sick now indeed, scared and sick and far too close to panicking. Morgan was obviously playing with her, trying to get a reaction… but she wouldn't give him one. At least not the one she wanted to give, which was precisely the one he wanted to see.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She breathed in sincere fear, which was working in her favor for once. Why cover up something that was helping the act?

"Oh, I'm sure you do." He smiled at her in a mixture of humour and some twisted kind of adoration. "What do you get out of it, huh?"

"I have no idea what you're implying, but whatever it is, you're absolutely wrong. Sir."

"I mean, Miss Mitchell, that he gets a beautiful and spectacularly talented woman all to himself, devoted as you clearly are. But what do you get from him in return?"

"You're wrong…" Robin croaked out in a whisper, but she couldn't even think of anything else to say to defend herself without starting a war right here, right now.

"Don't tell me I wouldn't find his fingerprints on your skin if I were to take a look… Don't tell me you don't want him to save you right now." He hissed, and his hand was back on Robin's shoulder, squeezing painfully like he had all this time ago down by the forest. She winced involuntarily, and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to keep the gathering tears from spilling over. Perhaps it wasn't so difficult to play scared after all… not when she really was terrified out of her mind for real.

"Let go of me. Please." She tried to get out as calmly as she could, but her shoulder was hurting enough to make her grit her teeth. The pain didn't suffice however for her to miss how his other hand traced her collarbone once again, only to move towards her neck this time. Her urge to fight back grew to the unbearable, and she had to ball up a bunch of fabric of her robes in each hand to keep them at her sides. "You have no right to touch me, nor to threaten me. So, Let. Me. Go."

"You were supposed to be mine, you know…" He sighed sadly, and his fingers traced down Robin's neck, following the thin silver chain of her necklace across her chest to the point where it ran beneath her blouse. Then he tugged the chain up until he held the locket between his fingertips. "It was supposed to be you and I until the end. But Severus just had to get in the way, didn't he? I shall make sure he sees the error in claiming what is mine."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Robin's emotions were finally gaining the upper hand, and her voice shook with anger and fear alike. "But if you try to harm him in any way, I shall make sure that I will be the very end of you."

"Ah, there you finally are again, my dear… I have missed you." Morgan held her gaze with a smirk for a moment, then his eyes traveled down to the locket and inevitably also to her cleavage. "So fierce… So full of passion." With a start he yanked on the necklace, and the thin chain bit deeply into Robin's neck before coming undone.

Damnit, her act was blown, her neck hurting and her shoulder was still trapped in his punishing grip. Robin had given him exactly what he wanted, she knew that, but it was too late to change that now. Even her facades had a breaking point, and Morgan had found it at last. Yet, he still kept her pressed into the wall by her shoulder as he inspected the locket in his hand curiously for a moment, then looked back up at her with a sneer.

"I'm sure you won't mind if I keep this for a while, will you? As a reminder of what ought to inevitably be…"

"Fuck off." Robin hissed in return, dropping every hint of submission to glare up at him in pure hostility. "If you truly believe yourself to be entitled to me in some sickening way, you're even more eaten up by insanity than I thought."

"Insanity is such a vile word, darling… I am dedicated, just like you are. We have more in common than you think."

"You're nothing like me."

"No, I'm certainly not." Morgan chuckled softly and took the last step closer to press Robin into the wall with his own body now. "But that doesn't mean we have nothing in common."

"Get away from me right now or you will regret it." Robin said coldly, and finally released the balled up fabric from her hands. Witnesses or not, she would rather get expelled for attacking a teacher than letting herself be assaulted like this.

"Oh please…" Morgan scoffed in a dismissive tone, and after slipping the necklace into the pockets of his robes, he placed his now free hand against the wall next to Robin's head. "I'm not scared of Severus. And I'm certainly not scared of you."

"You should be." Robin stated under her breath, then focused her entire energy and willpower into a wordless spell that had Morgan flying through the hallway indeed, a good twenty feet even, before he came crashing down on the ground with a gruesome cracking sound.

For a moment he merely groaned and hardly even moved, but Robin still drew her wand from her sleeve and pointed it at the professor in determination to do whatever was necessary to defend herself. No matter what he was about to do now, she wouldn't let him catch her off guard. Not again. But she also wouldn't be the one to attack, not even when he deserved it quite so much at this point. But to her surprise, Morgan simply sat up after a while, hissing in pain, but with the biggest smile on his face.

"This should suffice to get you expelled." He chuckled to himself, overly happy at the prospect, so much so that he simply wouldn't stop grinning.

If anything, this proved Robin right in her assumption that he had been trying to coax such a reaction from her. But then again, she was absolutely certain that his behavior, his words and actions, hadn't been just for show. He wouldn't have bothered to keep her locket if it had been, he merely could've destroyed it or tossed it aside. But he wanted a trophy, and he wanted HER, that much she was certain of now. Only didn't she know what he wanted her for, or why. He certainly despised her, he had absolutely hated her for all these long years, and yet, now, he still wanted her in some twisted way… Robin didn't understand. Not even nearly, not when his behaviour was so different all of a sudden, and yet so very in line with everything that had been in the years before. No, Robin didn't understand at all. But when Morgan scrambled to his feet and limped back towards her, she didn't get the time to think about it any longer.

"A broken bone or two are quite the lovely evidence you presented me with. I shall thank you, my dear." He smiled at her sweetly once more, but stopped a few steps away now that Robin kept her wand pointed at him and bowed ridiculously low before her. How could anyone be like that?! She didn't understand, none of it, but Morgan didn't cease to scare her beyond reason anyhow.

Robin was just about to reply when she heard footsteps approaching quickly from her left, and Morgan seemed to notice them too, for he turned to look right into that direction as well. Three seconds later, Professor McGonagall stepped into the dim light of the few candles that lit up the partial crossing Robin and Morgan were standing in the middle of.

"Oh, Minerva!" Morgan went straight at it, his smile suddenly gone and replaced by a brilliantly feigned pain stricken expression. "Thank God you are here… You have to stop her! I… I think she broke my leg, perhaps my wrist as well, when… when she attacked me!"

McGonagall inspected the scene with wary eyes, taking in Robin's unfaltering grip on her wand that she still kept pointed at Morgan, then her colleague's pity-evoking appearance and pleading eyes. Robin knew that it looked beyond bad for her; what an ironic repetition of the event that had started it all six years ago. The same people, the same situation overall. Morgan was making Robin the villain of his story, himself the obvious victim, and McGonagall had no clue about what had really happened, but she was made to be his judge either way. But honestly, Robin didn't have it in her to defend herself like a bloody child caught in the act anymore. If she was asked for her version of events she would gladly provide it, but she wouldn't try to change opinions that were already forged in stone. If this would mark her fall from grace, she would at least fall with some last scraps of dignity.

______________________________

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[butterflyinthewell]

So I’m working on a fanfic about Hannibal being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and Will struggling to come to terms with that.

I’m realizing it’s really a commentary on how society treats people whose brains work different.

There is no point where Will loves Hannibal any less and he never sees him as less than human, but doctors and other people do.

Most of the story is from Will’s POV, (I start each chapter in Hannibal’s memory palace as it’s crumbling) but I have Hannibal’s perspective running in my own mind too when we watch him through Will. So when Alzheimer’s causes Hannibal to act weird, I know exactly what he thinks he’s doing or where he thinks he is in place / time, and his behavior makes perfect sense according to where / when he thinks he is. Will and the readers won’t have that side of it, so to them it seems Hannibal doesn’t know how to behave. He has his lucid moments where he’s acutely aware that “I have Alzheimer’s and my brain is failing me”, though they diminish as his brain deteriorates. But he really doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s not lucid, though sometimes he can remember it later and tell Will what happened. Those moments are heartbreaking.

So as an example of visible behavior vs what I know and don’t tell you: Will sees Hannibal smashing a rolling pin against the kitchen counter, but Hannibal thinks he’s cleaning up to prepare for a dinner party the next night and he’s frantic because there’s a lot to do and not much time, and he can’t get the counter clean. Once Will figures out Hannibal is trying to clean, he trades the pin for a sponge and helps him “clean”. Hannibal forgets why he was so frantic once they’re done, so now he can go to bed and sleep instead of keeping Will up by banging on the counter for hours.

You can’t reason with a confused person with Alzheimer’s once they’re past a certain point. It’s easier to just step into their reality and guide them gently in the direction you hope they’ll go. (Will is very hit and miss at doing this initially, but will get good at it later!)

Most people would suggest take the rolling pin away, but that would get in the way of the need Hannibal is trying to meet and lead to a fight. From his side it looks like Will is preventing him from getting ready for esteemed guests. Will trading the pin for a sponge is meeting Hannibal where he is, calming the anxiety he’s feeling and gently nudging him where he actually should go (to bed). Hannibal is happy with that because his need was met.

There’s another scene in a grocery store where Will doesn’t pay attention to Hannibal’s signals that this isn’t working, and it leads to Hannibal causing a bit of a ruckus. The store is restocking and there’s boxes and chaos everywhere. Hannibal can’t handle that, so he starts taking things out of the cart and putting them on the shelf like he’s at the checkout counter because that’s what you do when you’re about to leave the store. But Will misses that signal and puts things back into the cart, and suddenly a very angry Hannibal flips the cart over and hollers that “this isn’t correct” because he can’t access the language to explain he’s afraid.

Will has to talk him down from a panic attack and help him out of the store. Later, Hannibal is able to explain to Will that disarray frightens him because it looks like his memory palace, and when that happens he can’t tell his inner world from the outer world and doesn’t know which one he’s “speaking” to. But small bits of disarray become something Will can use to calm Hannibal down by giving him messy things to organize. (Hannibal is obsessive about organizing stuff, it’s soothing for him.)

Their love language evolves too. From speaking in metaphors to just speaking, then they progress to actions and finally end on touch.

Will needs to realize it’s less about what Hannibal is losing and more about what’s still there.

Hannibal is going to lose who Will is, but he never loses the fact that he loves him. Some days, he will look at Will and fall in love with him over and over like the first time he saw him in Crawford’s office, because in those moments every time is the first.

And that is what Will needs to realize. Their love hasn’t been lost.

Btw, Hannibal doesn’t stop being dangerous till the final stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s about midway through it when he almost mauls the staff at a hospital because they’re being nasty to him when he’s confused! (They chemically restrain him with Haldol and are super shitty liars about it). That experience is actually what gets Will to see that people are going to treat Hannibal like he’s not really a person anymore. Let’s just say the doctor who ordered the Haldol isn’t gonna survive. It’s Hannibal...that means people get eaten! 😌

Also, the fanfic starts after they’ve been married for 10 years, so the year is 2030 at the start of the fic. I’m writing this pretending the story of Hannibal began sometime in late 2010, Will pulled them off the cliff in 2015, they got some aliases to disappear and moved around America dodging the FBI for another five years.

The pre-story post-fall timeline goes like this:

December 2019: Will and Hannibal have been on the run for a long while, but they stop in Hawaii to have a nice, tropical Christmas. Hannibal can’t remember the volcano’s name is Kilauea.

January 1: 2020: They get married on the beach. It’s sort of spur of the moment, but they took the time to buy tuxedos and rings. Their tuxes are white with silver accents. Hannibal has a silver vest and bow tie. Will has a silver bow tie and cummerbund. They say their vows at sunset by the water.

Late February 2020: Will and Hannibal leave Hawaii for Cuba just as Covid-19 is hitting. They’ve already bought a house, so they move in. Both test positive for covid. Will stays asymptotic and never gets even a tickle in his throat. Hannibal gets the whole deal without getting sick enough to end up in the hospital, but recovers. He has some long covid issues, like shortness of breath and fatigue.

2022: Hannibal survives the widow maker heart attack and it’s discovered he had the heart attack because covid damaged his heart. He gets quadruple bypass surgery and spends a lot of time in ICU recovering. As he gets better he realizes his memory isn’t what it should be. Doctors tell him his heart stopping from the heart attack and the bypass surgery can sometimes cause some memory loss. Hannibal starts relying on his phone and GPS more and more. Will begins to suspect something is wrong, but the doctors reassure him that it’s temporary, so he lets it go.

(Fanfic begins here.)

2030: Hannibal is making mistakes in cooking, cleanup, paying bills and just everyday stuff, but he doesn’t think it’s weird. He blames “kids” when questioned about why he put dishes away dirty or burned dinner. Will is noticing things aren’t right, so he begs Hannibal to see a doctor. Will thinks it’s something solvable, like encephalitis or some other organ. But no, Hannibal gets looked over from head to toe, inside and outside, sent to a neurologist and finishes with his diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s. (He’s 58 at the time of diagnosis, but the disease process started when he was 48 and it was missed for so long because of the heart attack.)

As soon as he’s diagnosed, Hannibal starts making plans for Will to be his medical power of attorney, in control of their bank account, in charge of his advanced directives, etc.. He sort of drops it all onto poor Will, who barely gets time to absorb the news before he’s signing stuff. Will is in a tailspin of emotions.

It’ll take Alzheimer’s 20 years to chew through Hannibal’s brain. It’s not always gonna be pretty or easy to watch. At the end it becomes clear Hannibal is waiting for something, and he passes as soon as those final needs are met. Hannibal always has to have control of something, right? Right!

I’m gonna throw all your feelings into a washing machine and spin them. It’s what I’m good at with fics like this.

Anyway...

I have very specific images of how Will and Hannibal look at the start of the fic. Will is still pretty af, but a lot less friendly looking, and Hannibal looks like a scruffy Norse dad.

The most beautiful part about writing this (for me, anyway) is watching how Will learns to understand Hannibal’s communications as his language abilities deteriorate. He will continue to see and hear him even when most other people won’t try to watch or listen. He learns to be less “stop that, it’s annoying” and more “what need isn’t being met and how can I meet it? How can I step into his world to be with him where he is?”

Finally, their wedding song is important to the story. This was their first dance song. It’s their song. Will sings it to Hannibal a few times in the fic, and if he plays it on his phone it can break through the Alzheimer’s fog and take Hannibal back to the bank safe in his memory palace where he keeps their wedding day. Yup, he keeps that memory in a safe and it’s the last thing to go. ❤️

[tagsecretsanta]

From @Eirabach

to @cookidoughlilac

Secret Santa does not own this work, full credit to the author above!

And the soul felt its worth…

[Pen & Ink exchanging gifts by the fire + blink and you miss it Grandma/Kip]

A lone string of Christmas lights throw their soft light across the dash as Virgil turns Two over the North Sea, the cabin silent but for the muted roar of the engines, the earlier humming of carols forgotten as the night had fallen and the sea had risen. Two feels more like a cathedral in the quiet, anyway.

The fairy lights are probably illegal, Gordon wouldn’t know. Something to do with running lights and landing lights and all the other things he nods along to but never recalls. He leaves the legalities of Two’s flight plans to Virgil, the details to John, the refueling to Brains, the directions to Scott. He’d even left the fairy lights to Alan, this year. Virgil doesn't turn them off at least.

The tinsel on the yoke was him, but it’s crushed under Virgil’s grip now. White knuckles flashing red, blue, green. Glitter and gold peeking through the dirt. Gordon looks away, out into the night, ignores the flicker of his own reflection, the shapes behind him. 

“Gordon --” In the reflection he sees Virgil’s eyes cut over to him, still a little too wide, a little too wet. He’d heard him, before. Muttering childhood prayers Gordon barely recalls, his head low over the sheets, his shoulders shaking. Gordon doesn’t shake. Gordon doesn’t blink. Virgil’s eyes narrow, and the tinsel crunches as he shifts his grip, turns his body. Gordon doesn’t move.

“It -- it isn’t your fault, you know.”

That’s worth a scoff at least, because Gordon knows that. He’s not an idiot and he’s not a martyr. There are only so many things he can do and the seas had been so high and the water so cold -- he knows. It’s not his first rodeo.

It’s Christmas Eve though.

It’s Christmas Eve, and somewhere, somewhere god only knows how many thousands of miles away, Scott’s hanging stockings with holes darned up and clementines stuffed in the toes and Brains is formulating gravy equations and Alan’s out on the hillside, waiting for them all to come home.

Not everyone comes home. Gordon’s known that almost as long as he’s known his own name.

It ought to get easier.

It doesn’t.

Somewhere beyond Two’s nose lie the bright lights of the GDF facility. White fluorescence to match Virgil’s knuckles, the sheets in the cargo hold. Nothing soft about them, just all blaring harshness, honest in their ugliness. 

You don't get to have this.

They don’t get to have this.

Two isn’t a subtle craft, she leaves the medical crew trembling, windswept and silent as she settles, their mouths moving but their words drowned by the VTOL. Their words are hopeless anyway, and by far the least of all the things that have drowned tonight. They pull the shrouded losses out, one, two, three, roll them onto stretchers and bow their heads as they wheel them away. The base commander is talking -- Two is silent now, waiting -- but the roaring in Gordon’s ears hasn’t stopped, hasn’t dimmed, just swallows up platitudes until his stomach roils with them. 

Virgil drops a hand to his shoulder, big and heavy and warm, and he juts his chin out just a little further. Tenses his muscles until his jaw aches.

“-- everything that you could,” the base commander says, and he’s looking at Gordon. Looking at Gordon with bloodshot eyes ringed in black, and Gordon -- Gordon knows that he’s lying. Virgil’s fingers tighten. Virgil knows too. 

They turn their backs on the too bright runway and retreat to the soft glow of the cockpit. Gordon flicks at the take off switches without really seeing them, the action ingrained in his fingertips. Beside him he hears Virgil sigh -- long-suffering, meaningful, Virgil -- and bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood.

“Okay,” Virgil says, “okay. Setting eight niner.”

Gordon’s hand stills over the Nav switch.

“That’s not --”

“My ship, my route. Eight niner.”

“Where are you taking me?” 

“Gordon --”

“Don’t, okay? Just --” He takes a steadying breath, tries out a smile. Fails to meet Virgil’s eyes. “It’s Christmas.”

Christmas, with all its tradition, its expectations. Alan and Scott and John down on Earth for a whole 48 hours. Grandma's cooking and the caterers Kayo never admits to booking. Hand knitted stockings and rustling golden paper and smiling. Because Dad's back, and it's Christmas and it's perfect, isn't it?

He's going to have to do so much smiling. It’s expected. Required. Needed.

Gordon doesn’t feel especially capable of being what anyone needs right now.

Virgil stares at him a beat too long. He does that, too often and to all of them, but Gordon’s always been the least able to brush him off. Grandma says he’s as transparent as the ocean he loves, bright and blue and honest, his very heart on display for anyone who so much as glances at him, his storms as grey and as frightening, his veins polluted by the ugly things they pull up from his depths.

And Virgil knows that, too.

“Yeah,” he says. “Call it a Christmas present.”

---

Penelope holds the bowl of her teacup in both hands, her nose close enough to the edge that she can feel the last wisps of heat rising from the dregs. It’s a bitter night. Further north than here she knows there’s a storm raging the likes of which will be sure to make the Christmas Day bulletins, and she presses her fingertips a little harder into the porcelain. 

The fire’s still burning as brightly as it ever has, at least. Parker had been careful to build it back up for her before she’d sent him to his regular spot at the Lamb and Flag -- it’s almost midnight and you know they won’t shut before you arrive, Parker. Parker had scoffed at her, eyes rolling, but he’d made sure to bring down the old crystal sherry glass and leave a mince pie beside her cooling teapot. Old traditions long since grown out of, but still -- still.

It’s a terrible night to be out in a storm.

Bertie huffs in his sleep, and she curls her bare toes under his belly. There’s a childishness to the way she still spends her Christmas Eves tucked up on the hearthside rug, antique crystal glinting in the firelight, dog drool seeping into Turkish silk. A certainty and a peace in it that she loves, still, even if the thrum of childhood anticipation has dimmed, and really -- there’s nowhere else she would rather be. Really.

It’s just --

Well.

Perhaps just for one night of the year, she ought to embrace being lonely. And she does. She enjoys it, even. The solitude and the softness of this one, magical night. It’s just this year -- this one year --

He’d asked. Coy and quiet in that way he only ever is with her, dark eyes focussed on his toes scuffing through the sand, and the yes, of course and the where else would I be had been right on the very tip of her tongue, and then Alan had come hooting past them, bodyboard under his arm and father on his heels and --

And Christmas is a time for family, after all. 

Later, too late, John had let slip that Grandma had her own guest arriving and Scott had huffed that I’ve already made you a stocking Lady P, seriously, but she’d already seen his light shutter at the shake of her head. Already disappointed him enough.

Maybe the loneliness feels a little less like peace this year.

Maybe that’s her own fault.

The flames stutter as the wind outside picks up and she takes that as a sign that it’s time for bed. Her knees are a little stiffer than they ought to be -- too many hours on her feet in six inch heels followed by too long sitting on the thin rug -- and she sways slightly as she reaches to put the teacup down. Exhaustion, probably, though just like the loneliness there’s no real reason for it. She was invited. She was. She has no one to blame tonight but herself.

“Honestly, Penelope,” she huffs as Bertie rolls himself closer to the hearth. “Do get a grip.”

The wind howls again, agreement and encouragement in one, and she turns to draw the curtains. Outside, the sky is cold. Starless, but for four patches of whitehot flame.

Green.

Green?

She slips sideways on the edge of the rug as she bolts for the door, her hands shamefully unsteady as she fumbles with the deadbolts. Her comm’s where she left it, still and silent on the occasional table, but Virgil’’s here, and Virgil must have a reason and it’s Christmas --

She flings the door open, pulls her dressing gown tighter around her at the blast of frigid air as Two settles across the driveway and east lawn. She looks well enough -- solid and dependable as ever -- and Penelope can see the gentle, reassuring flicker of Christmas lights through her windscreen. 

Not that sort of visit, then. Not tonight.

The backdraft dies away, the engines winding down, but Two still sits, silent, as though waiting. For her, she assumes. Unless Parker has plans he’d failed to announce. She steps out into the night, her toes curling against the chill of the stone steps, and turns her face up toward the embarkation hatch.

There’s a clanging from within, something metallic and a heavy scuffling sort of sound, and then the hatch begins to lower and her heart finally settles from somewhere in the vicinity of her throat to drop back into the space where it belongs.

“Merry Christmas, Lady P!” Virgil calls, waving brightly with the arm that isn’t wrapped around his younger brother’s shoulders, and she laughs, letting it ring out, musical and genuine through the night air.

“Virgil! Are you moonlighting as Old Saint Nick this year?”

“Something like that,” he says, cheerfully enough, but as they reach the ground she can see that his grip on Gordon is ever so slightly too tight, his smile just a little too strained. “Even brought my best elf along for the ride.”

“Oh, I know that can’t possibly be true,” she teases, even as her eyes roam over Gordon’s downcast face, the grime in his hair, the salt trails on his cheeks. “Elves are helpful, biddable little creatures are they not?”

“Depends on the legend,” says Virgil wryly, and then he’s releasing Gordon and stepping back onto the platform, rising back up even as Penelope gapes and Gordon stares unseeingly at his feet. “Call me when you need me, ok?”

---

Gordon isn’t entirely sure if Virgil’s speaking to him or Penelope, not sure if it matters either way, because he’s disappearing back into the bowels of Two and it might be too dark to see his expression as the VTOL roars back to life, but Gordon hasn’t had Virgil as his wingman all his life not to know he’s a smug bastard when it suits him.

Beside him Penny rolls up onto her toes, once, twice, then claps her hands together.

“So, do you think he’ll be parking Two behind the Lamb and Flag for a glass of Advocaat while he waits, or -- “

“You’re not wearing any shoes.” He blinks, but no, he’s not going mad. Her bare toes are still twitching at the edge of his vision, shell pink nails against pale skin, and he’s struck by the memory of the sailor’s feet, bare and blue and so so cold no matter what he did, no matter how hard he --

“Gordon?” Penelope isn’t blue, she’s pink and gold and flushed by the cold. The tip of her nose and the apples of her cheeks and he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it until it’s too late, until he’s burying his face into the warm skin of her neck, leaving salty, filthy handprints on the silk of her nightgown. “Oh, Gordon.”

“It’s -- it’s nothing, all right?” He turns to steer her back into the house, tries to ignore the set of her shoulders under his hands, the way she looks at him as though -- as though she knows. “Come on, come on, you’re gonna freeze out here in that get up. It’s nice, by the way. Very nice.” He holds her out at arms length and waggles his eyebrows.  “Expecting company were you?”

Penelope narrows her eyes. “I was expecting to go to bed.”

“I mean, that can be arranged, right?” He wrinkles his nose, looking up briefly -- considering. “I wonder how many Advocaats Virgil can drink and still be legal to fly?”

“Gordon, do you think I’m a complete fool?” she scoffs, spinning on her heel to face him as they reach the warmth of the parlour fire. He hadn’t even known where he was going, and isn’t that just always the way with her? “What happened.”

He shrugs, a last half hearted denial, and Penelope drops to sit cross legged on the rug, her right hand coming to rest on Bertie’s side.

“All right,” she says. “If you don’t want to tell me.”

“I don’t,” he agrees.

She quirks an eyebrow.

“Ugh, fine.” Gordon collapses next to her in an exhausted, grubby heap. “It was a shitshow tonight.”

“Well, that’s only to be expected.”

Gordon gapes. “Uh, thanks? Jesus, Penny.”

“That isn’t what I --” She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “I only mean that it’s Christmas Eve, isn’t it? Everything seems so much more tonight. Good and bad.”

“This was -- this was pretty bad.”

“Pretty bad?”

“The worst.”

Penny reaches over, entwines the fingers of her left hand with his right, and squeezes.

“I’m sorry, darling.”

Gordon hums a miserable little noise, and turns their hands over so that he can lift her knuckles to his mouth and drop a kiss against the thin skin.

“Do you know what the worst bit was?” He feels more than sees the shake of Penny’s head. “Those guys tonight, they should have been going home to their family, and they can’t. And I can, but -- why me, you know? I’ve got my brothers and Grandma and Dad and you and I can’t -- I can’t figure out why me and not them.”

Penny scooches closer until their knees knock together and she can lean in to press her forehead against his. She smells like cinnamon and clove and woodsmoke and he basks in her warmth for a long moment before pulling back.

“Penny --”

“No.” His eyes snap to hers, then. Big and blue and fierce in that way that he’s always been helpless around. “I refuse. I don’t accept that you are somehow less worthy -- Gordon Tracy, you’re the most worthy man I know and I’m sorry, I am, I’m terribly desperately sorry for the families of those poor men, but if you’re telling me that I ought to lose you instead -- then I refuse. Outright.” She sniffs, all old money and utter certainty. “There’s not a soul on this planet I’d exchange for you. You know that.” Gordon blinks at her, and a little crease appears between her eyebrows. “You -- you do know that, don’t you?”

“You didn’t want to come for Christmas.” He practically breathes it, hadn’t even known the words were there before they were already dropping from his mouth, and he immediately wishes he could cram them all back in because that’s -- that’s a declaration, a thing, a dream come goddamn true and all he can do is complain? Penelope’s expression twists guiltily and Gordon decides to just go drown himself in the ornamental pond and be done with it.

“I thought -- I wanted you to have a family Christmas, your father --”

But his mouth’s running away from him again and baby Jesus come save him from himself because, “-- but you’re my family, Pen. I wanted you.”

He isn’t entirely sure what sort of reaction he expects to get to a declaration like that, hadn’t been expecting to make it at all to be honest, but Penny launching herself into his lap, elbows flying -- he’s really not sure if he should be glad or frightened. He’s definitely winded. “Oof.”

She laughs, a little wild, the way she hardly ever laughs around anyone else, and digs her really very bony elbow into his solar plexus. “Don’t be rude!”

“Really?” He grins despite himself as she settles her weight meaningfully against him, one hearth-warm hand coming up to caress his cheek. “Is this my present? I didn’t even bring you one.”

“Yes.” She smiles, soft and sweet and just for him. Something inside him, something that froze out in the North Sea, melts between his ribs. It aches, a little. He loves it a lot. “Yes, you did.”

“Oh.” Penny shifts her weight once more. With uh -- feeling. “Oh.”

She quirks an eyebrow at him, her robe dropping open slightly as she leans forward, “Oh?”

Gordon swallows, his throat clicking. “Virgil will be -- he’ll be okay, right?”

“I’m sure Parker will keep him company.” Her hand is already at his zipper and that sort of sounds like a threat to his brother’s safety but -- hey. Priorities.

He shrugs. Smiles. Lets himself forget for a night. This one night, at least.

“Well then. A very Happy Christmas to Virgil. And uh -- to me.”

“Gordon?”

“Mmm?”

“Shut up.”

---

They don’t mention Virgil again, not until the fire has long since burned out. It’s a draught from the newly opened door that wakes her, reaching out for them with chilly fingers where they lie curled around each other on the too-small chaise. Penelope blinks blearily up at the dark figures in the doorway -- blue-green and grey against the pallor of the oncoming dawn.

“Merry Christmas,” one of them says, whiskey rough and exhausted, and she shifts her gaze down to where Gordon lies, still grubby and pale but peaceful and so beautiful in sleep, and smiles.

“Merry Christmas indeed.”

[caitybug]

(Also sorry you are working on sads and feel blegh) maybe Rain is too "mundain" as far as prompts. 5? 7? 8? Any of those sound fun? 😂

5. Typed kisses.

7. Kisses after decades apart.

8. Kisses after dark.

Birdy, bc I love you, I’m going to try to do all of these haha.

(Shoutout to @adamarks​ for looking this over to make sure I wasn’t going insane.)

(1:35): Good morning! 

(1:35): Snow, it’s 1 in the morning. 

(1:36): Why are you messaging me?

(1:36): It’s 7:30 here.

(1:36): It’s still morning, though. So my original text stands. 

(1:37): Good morning, Snow. 

(1:37):😘 😘 

(1:38): XO. 

Day 2:

(10:03): Let me know how your appointment goes. 

(10:03): XO.

(10:04): My what?

(10:04): Your check-up.

(11:05): You forgot about it, didn’t you?

(11:10): I’m here, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Baz. 

(11:12): You’re an idiot, Snow.

(11:12): 😘 😘 love you.

(11:13): I love you too, XO. 

Day 3:

(15:03): Do you think the milk is still good?

(15:04): When did it go bad?

(15:05): It says it went bad a few days ago.

(15:06): But the date says best by…

(15:06): So it just means it isn’t at its BEST right?

(15:07): How does it smell?

(15:07): Not good.

(15:08): Then don’t drink it.

(15:09): What if I just don’t know how milk is supposed to smell? How often do I really smell milk?

(15:10): Snow, just get more milk. I think we can spare the money it costs.

(15:10): But I’ve already started cooking. 

(15:12): I’m just going to try anyway. 

(15:12): It’ll be cooked anyway, right?

(15:13): I want it known I believe this to be a bad idea. 

(15:14): You also said that subscribing to three different butter services was “unnecessary and excessive”

(15:15): I stand by that, Snow. 

(15:15): How can one person eat that much butter each month?

(15:16): I can’t believe you would doubt my abilities like this. 

(15:16): I thought we were in a loving and supportive relationship. 

(15:17): I love you and support your health.

(15:17): Which means cutting back on butter sometimes, darling.

(15:20): I’m going to use the milk. 

(15:22): I wish you the best.

(15:22): 😘 😘

(15:23): XO. 

Day 5:

(7:40): How is your stomach?

(7:45): Better.

(7:45): I told you to buy new milk. 

(7:47): I think there is a stomach bug going around.

(7:47): Probably that.

(7:49): Sure, Snow.

(7:49): That’s why you spent yesterday regurgitating the entire contents of your stomach.

(7:50): Yes, it is.

(7:52): Have a good day.

(7:52): I miss you.

(7:52): 😘 😘

(7:55): I miss you too.

(7:55): XO.

Day 8:

(20:46): The people above us are pounding it out again.

(20:47): Earplugs are in my bedside drawer.

(20:47): If you were here I’d just try to compete.

(20:48): You certainly would not.

(20:50): I bet we could beat them.

(20:52): Come on, Baz, I know you’ve got a competitive streak. Don’t let Richard and Shelly show us up.

(20:53): You’ve got two hands, Snow. I’m sure you could manage something.

(20:54): Oh? Good idea.

(20:54): Talk later.

(20:55): 😘 😘

(20:57): I regret so much about this conversation.

(20:57): XO.

Day 13:

(14:05): YOU COME BACK TOMORROW!

(14:07): Please stop yelling at me.

(14:07): But yes, I do. 

(14:08): 😊 😊 😊

(14:09): I love you.

(14:14): I love you too.

(14:15): Can we facetime?

(14:15): In a couple of hours, Snow.

(14:15): I’ve got one more meeting.

(14:16): 😔

(14:16): Alright.

(14:17): XO.

(14:18): 😘 😘

Day 14

I get through security. It’s always a painful even, especially in America. Have to practically strip just to stand in a machine that tells everyone what I’ve already known. 

No gun here the machine says with a green light and a beep.

As if I’d need one. 

It’s been delayed several hours for a reason I’ve yet to figure out. The weather looks clear, planes are moving in and out. People on other flights are still departing on time. 

The only reasonable explanation I’ve come up with is the airline is incompetent. 

“Snow,” I say, putting a finger in my right ear, trying to ignore the man screaming at the poor help desk person. “I may not be back until tomorrow.”

I look at the clock. Even if we left now I wouldn’t get home until midnight.

“What? Why?” He asks. His voice sounds frantic.

I hate worrying him.

“This airline work flew me through is set upon ruining my life,” I growl under my breath. 

The service representatives have been berated enough, they don’t need me coming after them as well. (Even if I want to.)

(Crowley do I want to.)

“Right now it doesn’t have us leaving for another two hours, so at earliest I won’t be home until 3 in the morning. With the trend of how this has been going, I won’t be surprised if it gets canceled altogether.”

He huffs.

“I miss you.”

It comes out as a whisper, any quieter, and I would have missed it.

It’s not that he’s ashamed of saying it. We’ve said it a lot over the past two weeks.

He’s sad. I am too. I was supposed to be home by dinner. We were going to order takeaway and watch a movie, kiss and makeup for lost time.

Ignore all responsibilities of the world around us for the evening. 

“I miss you too.” I face the large windows, looking at planes that aren’t mine leaving the runway. 

The blasted airport is under construction too. Everyone said to fly in and out of La Guardia because it is easier, but I’m wondering if I should have taken JFK. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“You better. Preferably before I drink more spoiled milk.”

“Stay away from all dairy products until I return,” I chuckle into the phone. 

An announcement comes over the intercom.

“They’re announcing another delay, I’m sure,” I groan. “I’ll send you a text.”

“I love you,” he says from the other side.

“I love you too,” I respond, ending the call and slipping it into my pocket. 

(14:36): I hope you get home soon.

(14:36): Threaten to suck their blood, or something.

(14:36): I’m sure that would work.

(14:36): 😘 😘.

(14:37): You’re an idiot, Snow.

(14:37): XO.

Day 15, 4:16

I turn my key in the door, trying to quietly walk into the flat. My suitcase softly rolls against the wood behind me as I pull it in, letting it sit next to the door.

Unpacking can happen after I get at least fourteen hours of sleep. 

I place a brown paper sack of scones on the kitchen table.

I couldn’t resist. The shop next to us had just opened, and I knew it would make him smile. 

I continue down the hallway, stopping only to take a piss.

In our room, still blanketed in darkness apart from the street lights coming from the road beside us, Simon softly snores. 

He still sleeps on his side of the bed while I’m away. It makes my heart feel softer than I’d like to admit. 

One hand rests next to his head, his wings spread out across the bed.

I change clothes, relieving myself of all the feelings of travel before softly lifting a wing to get under the blanket and allow him to cover me again.

I don’t have long to process the fact that I’m with him again before I feel something wrap around my calf. 

I pause for a moment before I remember.

The tail.

He is, for all I can tell, still asleep. Meaning it’s recognized I’m here and is saying hello in its own way.

I rub it softly with my other foot.

It dislikes not getting attention, you see.

Simon’s mouth is open as he breathes deeply. I think his pillow is a little wet.

I’d call it disgusting (it is, truly), but I missed him so much that I can’t help but smile.

I risk moving closer and kiss his cheek softly, trying not to wake him up.

I know he hasn’t slept well without me.

(I haven’t either, without him.)

Side effect of sleeping for so many years in that tower. We both got dreadfully used to hearing the other breathe, the way we each navigated and slept.

At this point, I think even his snoring lulls me to sleep.

(I still complain about it, however.)

An arm wraps behind my back and pulls me close.

He takes a deep breath, and when I pull back I see one eye open.

“Hey there,” he says, voice hoarse with sleep. 

“Your breath smells.” I lean in, kissing his forehead. 

“Well your hair is greasy,” he replies, pulling me into a kiss, his hand moving to my hair. 

“You don’t seem to mind it.”

He hums in response.

I pull him tighter. I need to feel this. Everything. 

His lips.

His hands.

His chest against mine.

“And you don’t seem to mind the morning breath,” he states, smiling at me as we break for a moment.

I open my mouth to retort but he puts a finger to my lips, shushing me.

“No talking, only kissing,” he whispers. “I’ve not kissed my fiancé in decades.”

He leans in but I pull back for a moment.

“It’s been two weeks, Snow.”

“Decades,” he states matter of factly. “Each day was like five years passed. It’s been 70 years. I’ve gone grey and wrinkly, waiting for you to return.”

I laugh, being shut up briefly by another round of kisses.

I should sleep.

But this is so much better than sleeping. 

I feel something wet hit my cheek.

Backing up, worried there is a leak from the ceiling, I realize why. 

It’s Simon.

“Love,” I say.

What’s wrong?

“It’s fine; it’s fine,” he says, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. “I’m just tired, and I missed you.”

Another tear drops from one of his eyes, and I brush it away with my thumb.

I open my mouth to say a response, to comfort, but I feel a stinging in my own eyes.

(My eyes have been open for too long, you see. Couldn’t sleep on the plane. I’ve been up far too long to be able to control any tears that fall.)

I lean in to kiss him again.

We kiss, and kiss, and keep kissing. Hands roam, trying to remind our brains of what it feels like to have each other again. 

It was dark when we started, but soon an orange haze comes over the room as the sun rises.

The tears start, stop, start again.

Laughter rings out a few times.

“You did WHAT to our oven??” I shout at one point. 

He lays now with his head on my chest. My eyes are closed, fingers scratching his head lightly.

His hand is softly rubbing my stomach.

“Wait,” Simon says, jumping up and looking at me.

I blink a few times, trying to fight off the sleep that was about to overcome me.

“Did you get?” He asks, question incomplete.

I search his eyes for a moment, frowning, trying to comprehend before I realize what he is saying.

“Yes, they are on the table,” I laugh softly.

He jumps up and starts to go to the door. 

He pauses, looking back at me, clearly wracking his brain with a question. 

“We can eat them in bed,” I say, knowing where his mind is trying to go. 

He smiles and continues his run to the kitchen.

I look out the window and see the sun hit the windows of nearby buildings.

It’s good to be home.

[vandoornestoffel]

Hey has anyone asked you yet about the time you got to meet the Mclaren team? If not, I'd love to know about it more!!

oH WOW.

I wasn’t expecting this.

Well, I’m watching a 24hrs race with 11 hours to go, I might as well take the time to write this down. Sit down and get ready to read a lot of text. Seriously it’s a lot of text. I’m sorry but this story took part in about 4 or 5 hours so a lot happened. 

So the story has a little bit of background. I’m kinda vocal in Twitter. Not as much as the Papaya McLaren+ members, but somewhat vocal, specially around McLaren. The every weekend wishing the best for my babies, and such. Also, in 2017, I got to meet Stoffel and Fernando at the pitlane walk thing in the Mexican GP. Even appeared in Fernando’s Instagram Stories AND on the worldwide feed because I was the only Mexican with a Belgian flag cheering for Stoffel. So after that I told the team I was going to be back the following year and I did. For extra context, I had literally 48 hours earlier, broken up with my boyfriend at the time (fuck that guy), so I was really really sad. 

So the morning of Thursday before the 2018 Mexican GP, I jump into a plane and take the trip to Mexico City for the GP. I didn’t had a pitlane walk ticket but I was planning on going to the race track and buy one (illegally) outside. So I land, or well, the plane lands, and when I turn my phone on again I find a really surprising message. From McLaren’s official Twitter, I got a DM asking me if I had plans on going to the racetrack that day. For context, I had told the team I was excited to see them on action that weekend. So I said that I still hadn’t a pitlane ticket but that I was looking to buy one. I went to my hotel and then to have breakfast and while I was having a meal, I get a second text asking me if I could meet them up in a door of the racetrack, that they had a gift for me and give me a WhatsApp number to stay in touch. WhatsApp number is British, I don’t know how to save it up because my phone kept putting the Mexican first few numbers as I tried to send message to them, it was an stressful mess but when it finally worked, I was already outside of the racetrack. I met a guy, Danny, and when we meet he gives me a paddock pass. I’m freaking out. On the walk past security and all of that, we are chatting. He’s such a nice guy. I still have his phone number but I don’t dare to text him again. He explains I do have to give the pass back at the end of the day and teaches me to use it and then says Go and see the full paddock, let’s meet up here in 20 minutes. So I have plenty of videos seeing everything. Saw Mauricio Arrivabene, KMag, Romain, Charles, Russell, Gio, and a lot of drivers up close, but they were busy with interviews and I didn’t wanted to disturb them. 20 minutes are up and I meet up with Danny and two other men who I can’t remember their names. That’s when we are talked into the McLaren pit. They explained a lot to us, and the cars were being worked on so we could see the engines up close and many other amazing little details. We walk out again and that’s when we are told. They are also giving us a Pirelli Hot Lap. I cried. No joke. We were walked over the Pirelli Hot Laps place and got to see the cars up close, tried a helmet, met my driver (Josh Cook) and I was eating my brain off. Eventually it’s time to go. We walk the main straight to where the cars were waiting for us, and met Charlotte and Helen (PR girls of McLaren at the time), I got the second to last lap in a McLaren 570s, so as the cars came and went I got more and more anxious. They did delivered me a copy of the video that was filmed but I don’t appear in the Mexican clip they published in their YouTube Channel. And I never published it myself. But if you have seen the “Oh, you drivin’ drivin’” it’s pretty much the same. Going side to side. At times yelling but mostly silence of “holy shit this is happening”. When I got off the car I was shaking. Huge smile in my face. Asked for a pic with Charlotte and Helen, and now I wish I had asked pictures with Danny and Josh as they were super special for me that day. 

So this is where things get weird. Have you ever dreamt of something so much that you have a headcanon on how it’s going to be if something happens?? Well, I had a headcanon that I met Stoffel Vandoorne and in my headcanon I turned around to face his adorable smile. First time, that didn’t happen. This time around, we got invited to McLaren’s hospitality, got a free coke, Fernando was there but he didn’t wanted to even wave. He was in a chat with Buemi in the corner of the hospitality and Charlotte and Helen didn’t even made eye contact with him, it was clear to me that he has like “do not disturb” moments. So I was driving my coke and I hear one of the guys say “Oh the girl is going to freak out so much” and well, I was the girl, and I was wearing my 2018 team shirt with Stoffel’s name. So I was chilling and suddenly I hear a “Hi!” and I know that voice. I’ve heard that voice a million times in interviews. I leave my coke in the table and stand up to turn around and see him. Stoffel Vandoorne. I turn around again and sit down because this is not happening. This is a dream. I probably passed out and I’m dreaming. Charlotte asks “Are you ok?” and I know she’s talking about me. I turn again to face Stoffel and tears are in my eyes. It’s really him. And he has that stupid smile in his face. I can barely say “Hi” and my voice cracks but I’m trying my best to not cry. I raise my arm to shake his hand as Stoffel says “Don’t you want a hug?”, I crack again and just approach to hug him. IT IS THE BEST HUG IN MY LIFE. I can’t tell you what he’s smelled like because my definition is just clean. I didn’t smelled a cologne or sweat, I just smelt clean clothes and a clean man. We got a few pictures taken. On the first Lando is in the background, all funny, and we invite them to our picture. He stood on the side of the group and one of the other guys says “Why don’t you stand in the side of the girl, so she can have a McSandwich”. Best McSandwich ever. Stoffel had to leave (to track walk, I believe) and Lando stayed chatting with us for a while. When he finally left, we were invited for one last walk around the paddock. Even got into the stadium area of the circuit. And then it was time to leave. On the walk back to the main door where it all started I asked Danny why me? Why had they invited me? He said that he had noticed my tweets beforehand but the fact that I had tweeted to Lando saying I was excited to see him in FP1, and he retweeted me, was the reason why I got the invite. So, my dream way of meeting Stoffel Vandoorne became a reality thanks to Lando Norris and his really cute way of being with his fans. 

As soon as I gave the pass away, I started to run. I was on the opposite side of the circuit than the pitlane walk door. So I ran, bought a ticket, ran some more, and pushed myself to the front of the crowd to meet Stoffel again. Yeah, I’m that crazy. So Charlotte sees me and says “Hey, look who it is Stoffel!” and Stoffel sees me and he’s like HI AGAIN! so HE FUCKING RECOGNIZED ME. So I chat with Charlotte a bit and say that I forgot to ask for an autograph so as Stoffel is signing one, and hands it to me, she says, “give her more”, so Stoff signed 2 more and handed them over. I told him I was going to miss him in F1 but that he had my support wherever he went, and he said thanks and carried on with his duty before leaving. I stayed there, as people left when they realised there were no drivers to sign cards, until I was told I had to leave. Prior to this, I met Lee Mathurin (a McLaren mechanic who I just discovered he has deleted his Twitter account, and I’m scared) and asked for a picture with him and other mechanics (he chicked out in coming to meet me along so he asked some friends to tag along) and as I try to snap the picture he grabs my phone and walks to the pits. He snapped a few good pictures of Stoffel’s car and the people around and came back to me to take a selfie of us. So after that, I got asked to leave by security and I rode an Uber back to my hotel room. As soon as I walked in and my mom asked “How it went?” I started crying my eyes out. That was waaay beyond what I had ever dreamt about. I was coming there still crying about my ex (I literally cried about him on the plane) and I started crying about how lucky and happy I was 12 hours later. McLaren, unknowing to them, made my life experience something I could never afford, in a moment when I most needed it. I couldn’t attend to the 2019 race and I’m not going to the 2020 race either, but I couldn’t ask for a better and happier day in my life. I truly owe that day forever to that team.

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

Yandere! Shigaraki x Reader; All An Illusion

tw: kidnapping, messed up relationship, parental abuse, eating disorder, knifes, gayness, depression, stalking

❤️ Enjoy the series! one two

I know heroes are supposed to hate villains with a passion and don't get me wrong, I do. But, my alarm clock comes close in second. I slap that sucker with my fist, sending it to the ground and unplugging it. " I hate Mondays," I tell myself, dragging myself out of bed and putting on my white fuzzy socks. As I walk to the bathroom, I take my icy blue, almost white hair out of the ponytail that is half undone. 

Looking into the mirror, I almost am scared of myself. I look like a zombie. I put on some music and wash my face before going to the closet. My dorm room isn't huge, but it's nice. Especially since my roommate is one of the gayest, most fanboyish guy in the world. "Deku! Did you take my concealer again?" I shake the broccoli headed boy, waking him up.

"Wha- oh, ya. Sorry Y/n, it helps cover up all the bruises from training. I don't like anyone worrying about me, and with all the news reporters, I'm scared my mom will see." I think of Deku's mom. 

So nice, so sweet, and such a good cook. 

"Yea, you're lucky about that one." I sadly smile, taking it from his bedside table. "Just let me buy you your own, or get your boyfriend to buy you one. What if you wake up someday and you're tan?" I tease as he throws a pillow in my direction. "Todoroki isn't just my boyfriend Y/n, he's my soulmate. Don't be jelly." he jokes. "At least my eyes didn't look like Christmas colors until this year." We both giggle hysterically.

In our world, everyone is born with two different colored eyes. Our left color is the one of our soulmate, and the right one is our own color. Once we make eye contact with our soulmates, they return back to their original color. My eyes are red on the left, and then purple.

 I go to the opposite wall and open the windows, letting the sunrise fill our view. Even though Deku covers his face with a pillow, I can't help but watch the birds in the distance. They're free to go wherever, be with whoever. They're not stuck in a certain place, they fly everywhere and anywhere they want to.

I do some makeup and curl my hair a little bit before slipping into my uniform. "Y/n, you've been getting skinnier. Are you okay?" Deku asks, waiting for me by the door. He's already in the UA uniform and is currently eating one of the donuts his mom brought for us yesterday. "Oh ya, I've just been training so much it's hard to find time to eat. But I'm fine. See?" 

I grab a donut and take a bite, chewing it slowly and giving him a fake smile. He smiles back, relieved as I slip on my shoes and take a final look in the mirror, trying not to throw up. My eyes are purple, but today they're looking extra vibrant. Maybe it's the sunlight filling the room, or the fact that I cried myself to sleep last night. Either way, they look different. Deku and I walk down the hall as I try to find a way to get the bite of donut out of my mouth without him seeing.

I haven't eaten anything for over 48 hours, and I can't have the first thing be full of calories and sugar. Finally, we get to the classroom. When Deku walks in, I immediately spit it out and stuff the donut into the nearby trash can where nobody can see. I feel bad about wasting food, but I would feel worse if anybody knew about me not eating. I sit down in Bakugo's seat so I can talk to Deku, eventually talking to Todoroki and Mina. 

Finally, Mr. Aizawa comes into class, followed by someone I don't know, and we all sit down. "Today we are going on a trip to the USJ for some training. Go change, and come straight back." I quickly go up as Mina and Asui join by my side to walk to the girls changing area. I hate this part with a dying passion, letting everyone see my scars, bruises, and ribs. It always starts a conversation that I don't like, making people worry about me. 

"So Y/n, I've been thinking. You haven't told me about a single crush that you've had since we got here. What's up with that?" Mina looks at me with curiosity. "I just don't see the point in dating someone who's not your soulmate. It seems like a waste of time." Mina laughs at my response, taking off her uniform and changing. 

"I've noticed that too, actually. I-" Uruaka stops talking as I take off my shirt. Everyone's eyes bug out, looking at the colorful display on my body. A large gash is in the middle of my shoulder, and another as my hip. There's a new scar near my collar bone and a large bruise on my upper stomach. " Y/n... What happened?"

Ururaka steps closer to examine me, before reaching out to touch the large scar on my arm. "Uh, Sensei has been training me extra hard lately. It's fine." I quickly put on my uniform outfit and fix my hair as Mina tries to start up the other conversation. "Anyways, do you really not like anyone else? What about Kirishima, or Sero? Personally I thought you'd be cute with Asui, or Momo. But Momo already is soulmates with Jirou, and Ururaka is soulmates with Asui." 

I laugh, thinking about how all my friends have been able to find their soulmate in our class, except me. It's kind of sad honestly. Is it impossible for me to develop feelings for people? Am I that hopeless? Maybe my soulmate is gone, or has found someone else. Maybe I’ll never find them.

Ururaka chimes in, but I blank her out mostly. "Maybe Tenya, but he gives me asexual vibes. I think you'd be cute with Shinso but..." I stopped listening as we walked to the courtyard of UA, where everyone else waited. "Fashionably late is not acceptable ladies. I expect you earlier next time." Aizawa told us as they stopped talking. "And ( y/n ), take your contacts off." 

I slid the contacts out and into my contact case. We all loaded up on the bus as Lida gave all the boys a hard time about the seating chart. I sat between Mina and Asui near the window, playing footsies with Momo for a little bit before I put my music in. Just loud enough to drown everyone out, I rested my eyes.

I guess it would be good to tell you about myself. Well, you already know I have icy blue hair that turned even lighter since I've been in the sun so much. My skin is darker than my friends, but I wouldn't call myself tan. I'm Y/n Kayama, the daughter of Kora and Magazaki Kayama. Kora Kayama, my mother, is currently in rehab for her addiction to her meds. The nurses at her facility tell me all the time that she says terrible things about me. It's not a surprise to me though, she always hated me. My dad wasn't any better though, as he drunk a lot and hurt me a lot before we got the dorms system.

 That's what all the bruises were from, not training, but my dad's fist. He was a gang member, who went to prison for trying to attacking a fellow gang member, and sent my mom to rehab because she was the only one in his way of having complete custody over us. He was obsessed with completely controlling us... well, I say us, but it’s just me now.

My sister killed herself last fall when I got into UA, she knew I'd be able to take care of myself and wouldn't need her to live. She felt her only reason for living was to keep me safe, and when we got dorms, she felt she was finally free. I remember watching her jump off the large red bridge downtown, the smile on her face. She hadn't smiled like that in a while. 

When my dad showed up to the school and demanded to see me, his breath smelling like alcohol and his tattoos showing, Aizawa knew something was up. Aizawa and my father had been acquaintances when they were kids, but my dad went down the wrong path. Aizawa knew about the drinking, smoking, gangs, and his violent attitude. Aizawa instantly looked over me and my sister from the moment my mom went to rehab, knowing that my dad wasn't a good parent. 

Aizawa and eventually Present Mic gave us rides and cared for us in general. I had only seen Aizawa cry two times, once when Mic almost died in a villain attack, and the day of my sister's funeral.

Oh right, my quirk. Silly me. My quirk is theft, which means that when I look someone in the eye, I inherit their quirk for 24 hours. The best part is that I can use multiple quirks at once.  The bad part is that when I accidentally look at someone, I end up using their quirk. I once looked at Ururaka and began floating. I also looked into Mina's eyes and turned pink. We looked like sisters though so it was cool. I do have a bad memory though, so I often forget my contacts. I didn't take the entrance exam since my quirk can't work against robots without me using someone else. 

Instead, Aizawa recommended me to take the special exam. Deku idolizes All Might, but I idolize Aizawa. Aizawa has known me since I was born. I think about what Mina said, and I can admit that I've never felt love like that. Maybe it's because I was never loved as a child, or never saw a loving marriage except for Aizawa and Mic, but I've never felt for someone in that way. 

Sure, I love my friends to death and would do anything to help them, including risk my own life, but it's different. I've never felt connected with someone, even if they've ask me out or something. Lida asked me out once in middle school, and Denki perused me multiple times before he found Sero, but I never was able to say yes. Mina and I made out at spin the bottle once, but it was more fun than romantic.

" Y/n, we are here. Please wake up." I woke up to Lida playfully poking my face as everyone else giggled. Immediately Lida's quirk registered in my brain. It was okay, I had used Lida's quirk before. "O-oh sorry, I must have fallen asleep." The class laughed as Lida smiled. "I recommend that you get more sleep immediately. Deku has told me about how you lay awake watching makeup tutorials, so maybe you can go to Recovery Girl and-" 

I cut him off by pushing my finger to his face. "I'm good, thanks." I walk past him to Mina and the girls who are waiting for me. Immediately I inherited Ururaka's quirk. It was hard to control, but I had an effect on my shoes that kept me stuck to the ground until I used her quirk. As we walk up to the USJ, I see it's a large dome with different areas of natural disasters. I hope I get the building on fire or the ocean. I can run on water with Lida's quirk, and float above the fire with Ururaka's quirk. 

"Hello 1-A students, I am Thirteen. I've looked at your files here for recommendations, and right now we will be working on rescuing people from natural disasters." Thirteen sets down files with our profiles. I can’t help but be curious about what’s in mine.

" Now, I want to send you all to the biomes that will challenge you, and challenge the way you go about rescuing others. Now if I can have Shoto Todoroki, Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku Midoriya, ( y/n ) Kayama, and then Denki Kaminari to go to the mountain land. You will be dealing with an avalanche, and then getting people to the bottom safely with no equipment. Go ahead, and wait for the buzzer before you start."

I linked arms with Midoryia, registering his quirk, as we walked towards the mountain, eventually joining up with Todoroki. As I made eye contact with Todoroki, I felt a cooling sensation on my left and a heating sensation on my right. "Nervous?" Todoroki asked, grabbing onto Deku's waist romantically. " A little, but at least broken bones aren't an issue anymore. I am worried about the-", "Ugh, you guys make me sick!" Bakugo yelled out from behind me. I try not to make eye contact with Bakugo. I don't like his quirk. It makes me sweat, and it’s way too sweaty.

"You're just upset that Kiri isn't here," I smirk as his face turns pink all over. "At least I have someone who likes me." he snickers before walking over to Denki. I watch him walk off, and realize he's right. I'm unlovable, or else my parents would have liked me. I might have someone by now if I wasn't so broken. Maybe I'll never find my soulmate, or they won't like me. I finally come to my senses and realize that the buzzer hasn't sounded yet. Is everything working right? 

I look around to see that everyone else is confused too. Even the volunteers I can see on top of the mountain are looking around. Suddenly, a large boom comes from the middle of the USJ. I begin to go up the mountain towards the volunteer when I hear screaming. I turn around and see Deku, looking down at the center. I gasp, watching a large purple portal open in the middle and many people walking out. 

"Is this part of it?" Denki asks as Deku shakes his head. I register Denki’s quirk. Now is not the time! "No! That's the League of Villains, I've seen them on the News! They're not good news!" Todoroki suddenly grabs me and Deku, building an ice tower high off the ground with us on top. "We need to stay safe up here, who knows what they want."

Before I can even gasp, I look out into the center to see the entire league running towards the mountain area. "Bakubro, what do we do!?" I looked behind myself to see Denki and Bakugo on one of the mountain ledges. "I don't know, but they want something." I can hear my teeth chattering, and I can't help but feel dizzy already. Luckily, Todoroki has me and Deku in his tight, protective grip. I never thought Todoroki liked me, since me and his boyfriend spent so much time together. 

The league is now under us though, and I can picture out two familiar faces out of the group. Toga Himiko, a villain with a quirk for blood cloning, and Twice, a guy who can make copies of himself. We can take them and a bunch of villains I've never heard of. We are about to attack when I hear something that makes my legs shake. "Y/n~Senpai! We've come for you!" Toga yells up, making direct eye contact with us.

Todoroki and Deku look at me, as I can feel Bakugo and Denki staring at me from behind. "I don't know what's happening," I whisper to them, and they nod. They trust me, and can probably read the fear in my eyes. "Come up here and fight us for her you reject!" Bakugo yells down as them as Toga giggles. 

"Orrrr... you can come down here!" She yells as one of the random villains touches the ice tower. Immediately the tower begins to turn into melting sludge as we begin to fall to them. Todoroki grabs Deku and me, jumping and creating an ice path for them to walk on. The only issue is that Todoroki grabs my hair instead, and I begin to fall towards the villains.

Luckily Denki's hand is there to grab me and pull me up. "Get behind me," Bakugo commands as sparks begin to fly out of his hands. "No, I can fight for myself. I don't need y-" Bakugou and Denki physically push me behind them. "No, they have a portal quirk with someone. They get their hands on you for a split second and you're gone." Denki explains as I sigh. Boys. 

"Now stay back," Bakugo growls, scaring me a little bit. I wonder how Kirishima deals with this all the time. Bakugo and Denki step towards the front of the ledge, making me step towards the back. I sigh, still shaking from fear and nervousness. Why are all these people here for me? What do they want? How do they know my name? What did I do to deserve this? Do they want to kill me?

Looking out into the center, I can see all of my classmates are fighting villains while Aizawa and Thirteen are trying to get to us. But they can't, with a weird creature that looks like a bird but has an exposed brain and is purple. It's kicking Aizawa's ass too, which is depressing. I back against the wall and shut my eyes tight, wishing they would let me protect myself. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my neck, and look to see Toga, right next to me, holding a knife to my neck. I register Toga's quirk accidentally. 

"Oh, boys. Some protectors you are." Bakugo and Denki look behind them to see us, their eyes wide in horror. "Y/n! Let her go Toga!" Deku yells, trying to get to me, but Todoroki holds him back in fear. Everyone looks scared out of their minds, which they probably are. I know I am freaking out, trying to think of some way to get out of here. Some hero I am! 

"Toga, don't hurt her," Denki whispers, trying to inch closer. "Not another step lightning-boy!" Toga threatens, pushing me closer to the edge of the mountain. I look way down, seeing how deep the side of the mountain goes. That's surely a deadly drop, and who would save me? Nobody. "You won't push her off, and I know it. Not after you all did all this work, just to kill a random student? Seems pretty useless.", Bakugo begins to take a step.

"Kacchan don't!" Deku yells, right before my life flashes before my eyes. Toga pushes me off the cliff, and I plummet to the ground. I look up to see Aizawa and a few other students watching me, their faces filled with sorrow, regret, and fear. I'm going to die right here. At the hands of an amateur villain attack. How pathetic. They know I'm going to die too. 

As I hit the ground, I fall into a purple void that consumes me. I hear yelling, screaming, even blood-curdling screeches as I enter a dark room. Immediately the portal closes behind me, and I'm left inside a dark basement. I try to look around, but the moment I move, a thick cloth covers my eyes, and a towel is stuffed into my mouth. 

I can feel picked up, and thrown into a room. I hear a door slam, and then laughing. I smell something weird, and before I realize it, a gas fills the room and puts me to sleep. I've been kidnapped by the League of Villains, and now I have no idea where I am.

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[gingrrfrog]

these nights (3)

pairing: na jaemin x female oc (Yejin) x lee jeno

genre: established relationship, mafia au

word count: 4.9k

warnings: none (?) 

summary: jeno leaves and yejin is beginning to think she’ll go insane by herself. 

a/n: yes hello this is the second part of the jaemjenoc that I wrote like...forever ago that you can find here! I ended up writing a female OC because I thought no one would read it but whatever: here it is :}

masterlist :]

An hour gone and Yejin was beginning to think that the clock was mocking her. Jeno had only left minutes before the hour, leaving Yejin alone, awake, and staring outside the window with Jaemin snoring in the background. She wanted to be annoyed with him, she wanted Jaemin to be awake and worry with her, but it was a selfish idea considering Jaemin was also due to be awake in less than thirty minutes. No amount of moping by the window could deny that she had a sick churn to her stomach, one that was telling her something would go terribly wrong.

Almost as if Jaemin had heard her nagging in his dreams, he woke up moments after the thought left her brain, bed-headed and automatically aware to her reactions to Jeno’s leave. He grimaced from his side of the bed, stretching his limbs out before walking towards her seat in front of the window, sliding behind her and wrapping his arms around her shoulder so that she leaned against his chest.

“He’ll be fine, Angel.”

“How can you be so sure?” Yejin finally croaked, tears flowing over her cheeks as she cried quietly in Jaemin’s arms. He could understand her fear but could only offer his embrace as solace.

“Because I’ll be there—Johnny and Jaehyun hyung will be there too,” He said softly, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. As convincing as the argument was, Yejin wanted to believe it, mostly because it was her only guarantee of getting any sleep tonight.

“I know you’re scared, and I know this is the first time having Jeno leave for a big job, but he’s more talented than you think. He’s not just good at spinning a gun around his fingers.”

She could only offer a deep sigh as she wiped tears from her cheeks, “I know. Will you call me if Jeno is busy? He said he would call me tonight, but something tells me he won’t be able to.”

“Of course, I’ll call you anyway.”

“I love you too, y’know? I worry about Jen because he’s in the line of fire, but I’m always worried about you too. I don’t want you getting involved in anything dangerous—“

“It’s too late for that,” Jaemin grinned, earning a slap to his shoulder.

“You know what I mean, Jaemin. You’re a nerd and a shit shot whose best trait is money laundering at best.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m fully capable, baby.”

“At what? Doing my taxes?”

Jaemin rolled his eyes, “har-har. If it weren’t for said tax skills you would be spending 10-15 years for fraud right about now.”

Yejin finally offered a smile, a small one, but one big enough to let out a small chuckle. “I’m kidding, but only partly. I know you’re capable, but I also want you to know that I’m worried sick for you too.”

“I’m aware, Yejin. You don’t have to worry about me too much—you also don’t have to explain to me that you’re worried more about Jeno either. I get it, I’m more worried for him too. I love him just as much as you do, so I’ll sure he comes home to us in one piece.”

Yejin’s smile widened as she turned to give Jaemin a kiss, “thank you.”

“Anything for you. For us,” Jaemin beamed. He pulled away to look at the time on the clock, frowning slightly before rubbing her shoulders. “It’s about time for me to get ready to go—do you want me to do anything before I leave?”

Yejin shook her head, “do you need something? Do you want me to pack you something to eat?”

“No, baby. I’m okay, Jihyun noona cooks,” Jaemin grinned.

Yejin rolled her eyes before getting off the chair, pinching his ear with a displeased look, “don’t make her cook for you! She probably already has enough on her plate with her being pregnant.”

“She offers! Who am I to deny my sister?”

“In-law! She’s not even your sister, they haven’t gotten married yet.”

“Formalities,” Jaemin scoffed, dismissing her claim with a wave of his hand.

Yejin snorted before snuggling back inside their large bed, watching as Jaemin skipped towards their bathroom, shutting the door behind him and listening to the shower start again. The unnerving settlement in her stomach calmed down but only slightly as she realized it wouldn’t go away completely until she had Jeno in her arms again. Sleep was beginning to weigh at her eyelids once again, but before she could fall victim to sleep, Jaemin got out of the shower and walked over to kiss her on the forehead. He smiled fondly at her before taking her cheek in between his fingers and pulling slightly.

“I’ll be home Tuesday, maybe earlier depending on how things pan out. I’ll call you later on today when I have a chance.”

Smiling was easier now that Jaemin was awake, but she couldn’t imagine what it would be like once he left. She pulled Jaemin in for an embrace, listening to him sigh as he snuggled into her chest.

“I would give anything to stay here right now.” He sighed, relishing in Yejin’s fingers threading through his hair before he peeled himself off. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Yejin pulled him in for a kiss once more. “Be safe.”

“You do the same. If anything happens, you know the code, you know the room, you know where everything is.”

Yejin pursed her lips and nodded, “I know.”

“Good girl. I’ll see you soon, baby.”

“Bye, Jaemin.” She said quietly, watching as he walked towards the door with his bag in hand. He smiled at her before he closed their bedroom door and walked out of their home, causing Yejin to strain her ears to hear the front door click closed.

Yejin remembered the initial sleepiness she felt before Jaemin left, but now that he was gone as well, all she could hear was the obstructive sound of the heater going on in the background. It was clouding her brain, feeding into frustration as she could no longer fall asleep. She twisted and turned in her bedsheets prior to sitting up with her knees against her chest, tears poking at the side of her eyes once again. She allowed herself to weep quietly for a moment, silent tears falling over her cheeks and onto her pajama pants as she sniffled to herself.

Jaemin was right, they’ve had jobs before, and they’ve always been working, but this was the first time she was completely alone. Sulking in a king-sized bed with the sheets pulled over her knees like she was some sort of child. She half expected Jaemin and Jeno to reenter the bedroom door, grinning as they would and telling her that their job was miraculously cancelled and that they could stay home. However, as the wretched clock ticked, it proved that it wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

By the time she felt her fatigue come back, her stomach decided on more pressing issues as it demanded food. She huffed to herself before kicking the bedsheets off of her body, almost stomping to the kitchen and ripping the refrigerator door open. Not only was she not in the mood for breakfast, but she was also being particular with what to eat, settling on a cup of yogurt so that her stomach would shut up long enough for her to go to sleep.

Half cup of yoplait in, she heard the doorbell ring, causing the grumpy yogurt eater to furrow her eyebrows together in confusion. She dragged her feet towards the screen, turning it on to see Jihyun on the screen with a smile.

“What the fuck?” She muttered quickly to herself, running over to the front door and seeing Jihyun on the other side of the door. “Jihyun unnie—?”

“Surprise! A gift!” Said woman yelled, shoving a heavy paper bag into Yejin’s hands. Yejin grunted at the weight and noticed that it was from a department store as Jihyun invited herself in from the hallway. She kicked off her shoes and chatted eagerly to Yejin, who was still confused and still lugging her, what she could only assume, expensive gift in her hands.

“—so that’s why I’m here! Fun right?” Jihyun beamed. Yejin, half asleep and with only a half cup of yogurt in her system blinked repeatedly before walking towards the kitchen to place the heavy gift on the counter.

“I’m…more than glad to have you here, Jihyun unnie. I guess I’m just a little confused as to why you’re here, that’s all.”

“I just explained though?”

“I’m…not all here, yet.” She admitted sheepishly, glancing over to the yogurt cup that fell to its side.

“I was saying, that last night I talked to Jaehyun about coming over,” Jihyun started again. “He said that he was going to need both Jaemin and Jeno for the job they’re doing these next few days, and I started thinking about you and how lonely you’d feel here by yourself.”

“It’s not my first time being alone, unnie. I assure you that I’m fine— “

“Maybe you are, maybe you’re lying to me so I can leave but lucky for you I’m a parasite,” Jihyun winked. Yejin held back a sigh.

“Also,” Jihyun cleared her throat. “I know what it’s like to go through your boyfriend’s first job by yourself. You go crazy the first 24 hours, and you cry the rest of the 48. You think I’m kidding, but I’m sure you’ve already experienced a flush of emotions in the past 30 minutes.”

Yejin grimaced, causing Jihyun to smile. “That tells me enough. I’m sorry for coming unannounced, I thought Jeno or Jaemin would’ve told you last night that I was coming over, I’m sorry. I’ll call Jaehyun—“

“No, it’s fine!” Yejin scratched the back of her head, “I’m sorry, I really am. There’s a lot I’m trying to process here, and it’s only 5 am. I don’t think I’m fully coherent yet.”

“Well,” Jihyun walked over towards the brown paper bag, “let’s start by opening your early, early, early Christmas gift. I think you’ll like it!”

Of course she would. Yejin was under the impression that she would like anything Jihyun would give her considering she had the funds to spoil those around her. Let the records show that Yejin wasn’t poor herself either, Jeno and Jaemin give her more money than she knew what to do with, but even then, she didn’t practice in frivolous spending only because of guilt. Jihyun, however, had been around money all her life (gathering from what Jaemin had told her) and if it wasn’t Jaehyun’s, it was from her extremely successful restaurant, and if it wasn’t from that, then it was from the large cushion of money her father spent his entire life working for (again, Jaemin’s words).

Yejin shook her head out of her reverie to herself, pulling the large and heavy box out of the bag and peering at Jihyun on the other side of island, who had a massive smile on her face. It was a massive coffee making machine with several different espresso making options, causing Yejin to stare at the contraption with wide eyes.

“Oh my God, this is amazing—“

“Do you like it!?” Jihyun asked, almost bouncing in her place. “Jaehyun told me that you and Jaemin love to drink coffee regularly…maybe too much but I thought this would be a great gift.”

“It’s amazing, thank you but I don’t think I’ll be able to find you a gift this amazing by Christmas time,” Yejin smiled.

Jihyun simply chuckled and squeezed her arm, “just be my friend and we’ll call it even.”

Yejin placed the heavy box right next to their pathetic French press, turning to see that Jihyun had already sat down on one of the breakfast bar chairs to rub her belly. “The guy at the store told me there should be a Youtube video to explain how to set it up, but Jaemin worked at a cafe for two months, I’m sure he’d know how to set it up.”

Yejin awkwardly cleared her throat. A youtube video to set up a coffee machine? “Would you like some tea, unnie?”

Jihyun smiled and nodded her head, “that would be lovely. Thank you.”

Yejin nodded her head as she clicked the kettle on and searched for non-caffeinated alternatives that she knew she had somewhere. Jeno out of the three of them was most likely to drink tea, and she knew he kept his stash in here somewhere…

“How are you doing, Angel?”

“Um,” Yejin cleared her throat. “I’m okay? The house is never this quiet, even if there’s only two of us. I’m used to either Jeno or Jaemin trying to fill up the silence. I guess I could see it as a good thing, but I think it’s still too early to relish in silence.”

Jihyun chuckled quietly, “it’s always quiet at my house. Jaehyun likes to spend most of his free time listening to music or just thinking. It’s definitely nice sometimes, but I will admit I pick on him on purpose just to hear him say something.”

Yejin snorted, “I never have to say anything. Jeno and Jaemin bicker easily, and I argue with Jaemin more than I would like so it’s louder than you would think.”

“Just like a little family, then?” Jihyun smiled softly, watching as the corners of Yejin’s lips turned up into a small smile.

“Yeah, just like that.”

Jihyun thanked her quietly for the tea as she blew on the steaming liquid, cooling it enough so that it was a comfortable warmth against her tongue.

“Is it…” Yejin cleared her throat before continuing, obviously embarrassed at the question she was about to bring up. “Is it normal to feel this scared?”

“How so?”

“This morning I woke up and I felt awful, like something bad was going to happen. Maybe nothing will happen and it’s just my nerves, but part of me thinks I’m just overreacting.”

“It’s definitely normal. I still worry for Jaehyun everyday even though he works from home. He doesn’t get involved on the “field”, I guess, as much as Jeno would. That being said, considering what Jeno is in charge of, I don’t blame that you’re terrified one bit. Especially since it’s been a while since Jeno has had practice like this.”

“But,” Jihyun paused, taking Yejin’s hand as she saw her panic, “Jeno is talented and would never let anything go past him. You have every right to be worried, but he’ll be okay.”

Yejin let out a relieved sigh before laughing at herself, tears spilling over once again, “I’m sorry, I just feel so stupid—“

Jihyun frowned and slid off her seat, walking over to hold Jihyun into a warm embrace, “you’re not stupid. I understand completely.”

“I feel stupid because Jaemin told me the same thing. How many people have to tell me that?”

“Listen, a million people could tell you that Jeno will be alright. The fact of the matter is that it won’t settle in until you have Jeno with you again, and that’s okay. Worry all you want, Angel. I’m just telling you that he’ll be okay.”

Yejin nodded and sniffled, laughing at herself again before wiping under her eyes, “thank you. You’ve been here for fifteen minutes and I’ve already managed to cry.”

Jihyun laughed next, “lucky for you, these past few weeks have been hard for me too. Crying doesn’t begin to phase me.”

Yejin couldn’t begin to imagine the stress she was going through herself. Jihyun was the first one to find out anything knowing that Jaehyun was in charge of them all, she is the first to see him seethe out in rage, concern, and worry as he would have to strategically choose his next step. Yejin couldn’t imagine what it was like being the boss’ wife, and for a split second, she was glad she would never have to find out.

“My real name is Yejin,” she blurted out, almost randomly as Jihyun furrowed her eyebrows together.

“Huh?”

“Kang Yejin. I know Jeno’s never told anyone my real name because he wanted me to be safe when I followed him to Korea,” Yejin cleared her throat once again, making a mental reminder to turn on the humidifier if her throat was this dry. “I’m grateful that he did that for me, but I think I’m finally in the position where I can tell people. Especially you, Jihyun unnie, you’ve taken care of me since I’ve been here.”

Jihyun looked like she could explode. She pulled Yejin for another embrace, one much tighter than the last as she rocked her back and forth, “thank you for telling me. You have no idea how much this means to me—it’s a beautiful name and it suits you much better than Angel did.”

“I think so too.” Yejin smiled, returning her embrace.

“Does Jaemin know your real name?”

She nodded, “I guess I should’ve specified that. Jeno only told Jaemin my real name when I got here. He told Jaemin to keep my real name a secret for whatever paranoid reason he had, and Jaemin honored it.”

“You three really are a team, aren’t you?”

“We try to be,” Yejin snorted. “It doesn’t always work out the way we want it to though.”

“Listen, team building barely works with Jaehyun and I, and we’re only two.” Jihyun grimaced. “You, Jeno, and Jaemin…you’re all three together right? I’m sorry, maybe I’m being nosy but I’m just trying to understand.”

“Yes, we’re together,” Yejin smiled. She was used to people asking her about her relationship, not to mention Jihyun’s careful prodding was ideal instead of the people who fetishize them and ask for videos.

“So, are Jeno and Jaemin…you know…?”

“Gay? Together?”

“Both, I guess?” Jihyun shook her head, “I’m really sorry, Yejin. I really don’t mean to pry! You don’t have to answer if you don’t have to!”

“No, it’s fine! I really don’t mind, and I don’t think Jeno nor Jaemin would mind either.” Yejin reassured, smiling widely. “I think Jeno and Jaemin are their own special case, if that makes sense? We talked about it, and they mentioned that they don’t really care for other men the same way they care for each other, and they only just recently realized they loved each other romantically too.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Not really, it makes things a little bit easier if anything. I think they loved each other long before I came.” Yejin swirled the last bit of tea around in her cup before downing it. She glanced over at the clock and noticed that it was nearing 6 AM, causing her to chuckle again. “6 AM and we’ve already talked about my fears, my real name, and the dynamic of my relationship. God knows what’s going to happen in the next forty eight.”

Jihyun returned her laugh, once again slipping off the breakfast bar chair and walking over to put the cup in the sink, turning on the sink to wash her cup before Yejin stopped her, insisting that she would wash them later on. Jihyun stretched her limbs before looking towards the couches, puckering her lips before inching towards the living room.

“Do you mind if I sit on the couch, Yejin? My back hurts a little on the chairs.”

Yejin blanched at the memory of the mess left on one of the couches, “sure! Of course! Here, sit on this side, the heater and the humidifier hits better on this side.”

Jihyun scoffed and took a seat where she was instructed, “you didn’t have to seat me here. I want you to be warm too!”

“Well, you’re the one with the baby in her, I want you to be comfortable.” She added quickly, throwing a throw blanket over the dried stain before sitting over it. Yejin crossed her legs and watched as Jihyun leaned against the couch, sighing with her hands resting on top her belly.

“You can put your legs over the table if you want,” Yejin smiled, noticing that she almost lifted her legs. Jihyun smiled sheepishly before resting her feet on the coffee table. It really was no issue, the three of them did much worse on the table. Yejin, once again, had to clear her throat to shake the lewd memory away.

“Thank you, my feet are swelling like hams right now,” Jihyun frowned. “I’m not going to lie to you, it’s getting harder to feel like a human being the farther along I get along.”

“How far along are you now?”

“Twenty-six weeks,” Jihyun smiled. “I’m not all that big for some reason, and it freaked me out at first, but the doctor told me that it might be because Jaehyun was born pretty small.”

“Do you know what you’re having yet?”

“We found out yesterday, actually! We thought about having a gender reveal, but we were too excited so we changed it last minute. We’re having a girl!”

“Congratulations! That’s so exciting! It’s kind of funny to think Jaehyun is going to be a girl dad.”

“It’s cute, isn’t it?!” Jihyun swooned, “I kind of wanted a boy, initially. But, maybe a girl won’t be so bad.”

“I am worried about her loving Jaehyun more than me, but I guess that’s something all moms worry about.” Jihyun sighed before tilting her head, “what about you, Yejin? Who do you love more?”

Yejin gave an awkward smile before shuffling in her seat, “my parents put me up for adoption when I was young.”

Jihyun slapped her hand over her mouth, “oh my god, I am so sorry I didn’t know—“

Yejin laughed and dismissed her worry with frantic waves of her hands, “no, no! Don’t worry! It happened a long time ago, I don’t even remember them! It doesn’t bother me as much anymore.”

“God, I am so sorry, you should’ve stopped me.”

“Then that would’ve been rude,” Yejin took Jihyun’s hand and squeezed it in hers. “It doesn’t bother me, don’t worry.”

“God, wait till I tell Jaehyun about how much of a royal fuck up I’ve been today,” Jihyun laughed, hanging her head and patting the back of her head almost as if she were self-disciplining softly.

“Who did you love the most?” Yejin asked, watching as Jihyun lifted her head to only glance at her.

“How am I going to sit here and talk about my parents? Isn’t that rude?”

“It’s kinda rude if you just tiptoe around it…”

“Oh my God, I’m sorry—“

Yejin let out a laugh before pulling at Jihyun’s arm, “I’m kidding!”

“I don’t know if being around Jeno or Jaemin is doing you any good,” Jihyun pouted. “I feel like I’m getting white hairs.”

Yejin laughed wholeheartedly before shaking her head, “you don’t have to censor yourself because you think you’ll offend me. It takes a lot.”

Jihyun narrowed her eyes, “that in itself is alarming.”

Yejin gathered the bravery to roll her eyes, “no more tragic backstories. Favorite parent, go.”

Jihyun scoffed, “it’s not that easy to pick a favorite parent! I guess, when I was a kid, I was attached to my dad’s hip. I never left his side, and he always took me to his jobs—the non-dangerous ones, obviously—and that’s where I met Jaehyun.”

“Even up until my early twenties I was always clinging myself to my dad’s side. It wasn’t until I got pregnant that I got super close to my mom, she’s always telling me what to do when I have a shitty pregnancy symptom. My dad is kind of awkward around the baby, and my mom thinks it because he can’t believe that Jaehyun managed to get me.” Jihyun grinned.

“Does your dad hate Jaehyun oppa or something?”

“No, he loves Jaehyun,” Jihyun hummed. “I mean, you see my fiancé, he’s so tall…so sexy and brooding…but when we were kids he was kind of this chubby snotty kid that got sick all the time. Not exactly Kim Jihyun snatching material.”

Yejin couldn’t help but to snort, watching as Jihyun gave her a playful glare, “isn’t everyone a chubby, snotty kid?”

“I guess. Maybe that was my dad’s nice way of saying Jaehyun was kind of ugly.”

They both laugh at that, Yejin covering her face as she felt guilty for laughing at the charismatic boss. Just then, Jihyun’s phone rings from the coffee table, alarming them both from their giggle fest as Jihyun’s eyes widened.

“Oh holy shit, he heard me,” she gasped. “Hi, baby.”

Yejin watched with a smile as she replied to her fiancé’s questions.

“Mm, the baby is fine. She’s still sleeping I think, but I’ll eat something later and see if she’ll wake up.”

“Of course she’s here, she lives here. Angel took my surprise like a champ, don’t worry.”

“Huh? I don’t know yet, I’ll ask her.” Jihyun picked at her fingernails, “no, she went to the bathroom, she’s not in the room.”

Yejin could suddenly hear Jaehyun whines and declarations of love through the phone, grinning when she watched Jihyun roll her eyes and frown in embarrassment. “You’re embarrassing me! Are you trying to convince me to come back home?”

“Maybe. Is it working?” Yejin heard his voice ask.

Jihyun scoffed, “no, Jaehyun. It’s not.”

Another groan and a whine followed from the other side of the phone, causing Yejin to cover her mouth to stifle a giggle. “Stop being a baby, Jaehyun. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yes, my love. I love you too, I’ll see you soon.”

Jihyun hung up the phone and whew-ed in fake exhaustion, “I don’t know how many times I have to apologize today but I’m about to apologize again. I didn’t know he was going to be a child.”

Yejin laughed fully this time knowing now that Jaehyun wasn’t on the other line, “you don’t have to worry. Jaemin does the same thing over the phone, with the exception that he does not care who is listening.”

“Oh no, Jaehyun would shrivel up and die if anyone heard that. But I’ve heard Jaemin’s declarations of love, and I’m a firm believer that Jaehyun gives him a run for his money.”

Just then, Yejin’s phone rang in the other room, causing said woman to laugh, “I think they’re both on to us.”

“The Jung telepathy skills are no joke, Yejin. Jaehyun can read my mind like a 80 year old psychic.”

Yejin smiled before jogging towards the kitchen, smiling at Jaemin’s caller id before answering, “Hello?”

“Hello, my Angel, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I’m a lot better having Jihyun unnie as a sound board,” she smiled. “Although, I would’ve appreciated a heads-up, so I would’ve cleaned up yesterday’s mess.”

“I already cleaned it though?”

“Jaem, there’s a massive spot on the couch.”

“We’ll buy a new one.”

Yejin rolled her eyes, “not the point. Have you heard from Jeno? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, Yejin.” Jaemin soothed, “I just got off the phone with him a while ago. He’s isn’t doing anything dangerous at the moment, just staking out with Mark hyung. He told me it might be a little hard for him to call you tonight, he told me to tell you he’s sorry.”

Yejin half expected that but couldn’t help but to feel disappointed either way, “okay. That’s okay, I understand. At least I heard from him somehow.”

“I”m sorry, baby. He told me to tell you he was sorry, and that he’ll try his best.”

“Tell him that it’s okay, I don’t want him worrying about me, I’m fine here. As long as you call me I think I’ll be able to sleep at night,” she reassured, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. “But how are you, Jaem? Are you okay?”

“I’m great, Angel. You don’t have to worry about me at all. I’m still at Jaehyun hyung’s house and I don’t think I’ll be leaving until Jeno comes back. I’m safe.”

“Good…that’s good.”

“I’ve got to go now, I was barely allowed to squeeze this call in but I’ll call you later tonight, okay? I love you, Jeno told me that he loves you, even though you already knew that.”

“It’s still good to hear. I love you both so much, please come back with my heart.”

“…that was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said to me maybe I should take longer jobs on purpose.”

Yejin rolled her eyes, “Goodbye, Jaemin.”

“I love you! I’ll call you later!”

The call ended with a sloppy kiss on the receiver and laugh from her part, clicking her phone shut before walking back towards the living room, Jihyun noticing her fallen face.

“You okay?”

Yejin gave a small nod, “yeah. I just miss them, that’s all.”

“It gets easier. Soon you’ll be begging for three day jobs.”

“What the longest Jaehyun oppa’s been away?”

Jihyun looked at the ceiling to ponder, “Six months?”

“Holy shit—six months?!”

“Mm…that was his first big job he had to do on his own before his dad gave him the business. I remember crying for weeks because he wasn’t allowed to call or text me. Then when he came back,” Jihyun smiled to herself, “you couldn’t peel me off.”

Yejin laughed awkwardly, “is this a conception tale?”

“God no, that’s more disgusting,” Jihyun laughed.

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[bobasheebaby]

125 Golden Girls Prompts

This time I have some hilarious prompts from some hilarious women. These help keep me sane, send in prompts or request a specific show. Long as hell, breaking at 15.

1 “Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.” – Dorothy

2 “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” -Blanche

3 “They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ‘Today is the first day of the end of your life.’” — Dorothy

4 “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” – Sophia

5 “Nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.” – Blanche

6 “No! No, I will not have a nice day!” -Dorothy

7 “Excuse me NAME, have I given any indication at all that I care?” – Sophia

8 “No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist ... except of course, when they were institutionalized!” – Blanche

9 “Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?” -Blanche

10 “Condoms, NAME! Condoms, condoms, condoms!” – Dorothy

11 “It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie!” – Rose

12 “He’s/She’s really a very sweet man/woman. He/She just doesn’t like to show it.” — Dorothy

13 “I eat raw cookie dough. And occasionally, I run through the sprinklers and don’t wear a bathing cap. And at Christmas, I’ve been known to put away more than one eggnog.” – Rose

14 “I could get herpes listening to this story!” – Dorothy

15 “I’ve been having a good time, and there wasn’t even a man/woman in the room.” -Blanche

16 “Why don’t I just wear a sign, ‘too ugly to live’?” – Dorothy

17 “I though I was gonna die. I swear I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and I thought, ‘What a shame if I die now, I’m too young…and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.’” — Blanche

18 “You’ll have to excuse NAME. HE/She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered him/her totally annoying.” – Dorothy

19 “Eat dirt and die, trash.” – Blanche

20 “[to NAME] You’re a furry little gnome and we feed you too much.” – Dorothy

21 When I was a child, I used to get overexcited and pet the cat too much.” – Rose

22 “I feel that you have backed me into a corner, and when I am backed into a corner, I come out fightin’ like a wildcat. Unless I’ve had too much to drink, in which case I slide down the wall and make mad passionate love on the carpet.” – Blanche

23 “NAME, you’re one chromosome away from being a potato.” – Dorothy

24 “If this sauce was a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.” – Sophia

25 “I hate to admit it but he/she melts my Haagen-Dazs.” – Rose

26 “Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?” – Sophia

27 “Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth?” – Blanche

28 “I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta.” – Rose

29 “When I say jump, you say ‘on who?'” – Blanche

30 “I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.” – Blanche

31 “How come whenever my ship comes in it’s leaking?” – Dorothy

32 “Tell me the truth: do these glasses make me look stupid?” – Rose

33 “If I had that money I could have moved into a swinging condo instead of living with—I better not say anything until I’ve had my coffee [sips coffee]—a slut and a moron!” – Dorothy

34 “Go hug a landmine!” – Dorothy

35 “Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!” – Sophia

36 “NAME? Hubba hubba zing zing, baby, he’s /she’s got everything.” – Rose

37 “I could vomit just looking at you!” – Dorothy

38 “There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line.” – Blanche

39 “It’s like you people don’t pay any attention to me whatsoever.” – Rose

40 “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.” – Sophia

41 “I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, he would have filled them with helium.” – Sophia

42 “Oh, don’t give up, NAME. If the ancient Egyptians could move 20-ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet.” – Rose

43 “NAME, honey… have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?” – Dorothy

44 “Tell me, is it possible to love two men/women/people at the same time.” “Set the scene, have we been drinking?” — Rose & Blanche

45 “NAME, what are you listening to?” “A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.” “Is it working?” “Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.” — Dorothy & Rose

46 “NAME, I have a feeling you’re lying.” “NAME, be positive.” “Okay, I’m positive you’re lying.” — Dorothy & Rose

47 “You are undoubtedly the meanest, sickest person I’ve ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.” — Blanche

48 “Where are you going?” “To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.” — Rose & Dorothy

49 “Let me tell you a story. Picture it, PLACE …” —Sophia

50 “NAME, wake up. My husband/wife/partner will be home any minute.” — Dorothy

51 “I’m NAME and I know it isn’t pertinent at the moment, but I’m double jointed.” — Blanche

52 “He’s/She's really a very sweet man/woman. He/She just doesn't like to show it.” — Dorothy

53 “You know, sometimes when people are under pressure, they sleep to escape.” — Rose

54 “Have you noticed that NAME has been acting peculiar?” “Yes, NAME, from the first day that I met him/her!” — Blanche & Dorothy

55 “Oh, NAME, how do you feel about performing in front of a video camera?” “I think it's okay as long as you've already had at least three dates.” — Rose & Blanche

56 “I never grew a beard!” “You never grew brains, either!” — Rose & Sophia

57 “It wasn't a rat! It was a cute little mouse.” “NAME, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland! We're talking about a rodent!” — Rose & Dorothy

58 “My whole life is an open book.” “Your whole life is an open shirt/blouse!” — Blanche & Sophia

59 “Oh, you don't have to worry about me, honey. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.” “Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.” — Blanche & Sophia

60 “Oh, NAME. Can I make a little suggestion when you go for your makeover?” “Sure. What is it?” “Don't expect a miracle.” — Sophia & Dorothy

61 “Why am I even discussing this with you?” “Beats the hell out of me!” — Dorothy & Sophia

62 “Well, what do you know? NAME has a past!” “That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.” — Blanche & Sophia

63 “I'm going to have to meet men/women lying down.” “I thought you did.” — Blanche & Sophia

64 “Here we are in the middle of a crisis and there’s no cheesecake.” — Blanche

65 “Can I ask a dumb question?” “Better than anyone I know.” — Rose & Dorothy

66 “NAME, ‘disdam’ is not a word. You made it up.” “It’s a word.” “Fine. Use it in a sentence.” “You’re no good at disdam game.” — Dorothy & Sophia

67 “He’s/She’s undressing me with his/her eyes.” “Do you wanna move tables?” “Not yet, he’s/she’s only half done.” — Blanche & Rose

68 “You know, there is nothing worse than being wide awake and scared and by yourself!” “Oh yea there is: being wide awake and scared and by yourself without a double-fudge chocolate cheesecake in the freezer.” — Dorothy & Rose

69 “You know what would go so good on this cheesecake is those chocolate sprinkles.” “We finished those an hour ago.” “We could crush some Oreos on top.” “We ran out of those two hours ago.” “How about some whipped cream?” “Mmm!” — Dorothy & Rose

70 “You bought a chocolate cheesecake?” “Just for an emergency.” — Dorothy & Rose

71 “I just need some cucumbers to put on my eyes. It’s very good. It reduces puffiness.” “Does it work on thighs?” — Blanche & Rose

72 “I have a date.” “With a man/woman?” “No, NAME. With a Venus fly trap.” — Dorothy & Blanche

73 “Do you know what your trouble is?” “Of course not.” — Dorothy & Blanche

74 “I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.” — Sophia

75 ““Forgive me, NAME, but I haven’t had sex in AMOUNT OF TIME and it’s starting to get on my nerves.” – Sophia

76 “Do you know what I hate doing most after a big party?” “Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?” — Blanche & Rose

77 “I've never been so humiliated in my life.” “What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy/girl on his/her mail route?” — Blanche & Dorothy

78 “You are not gonna believe this. NAME, just called me.” “I didn't think the two of you were speaking.” “Well, we're not.” “Then how'd you know it was him/her on the other end of the line?” “NAME, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country.” — Blanche, Dorothy & Rose

79 “Oh, my goodness. Look what I found. Double-fudge cookies. I thought we agreed not to keep cookies in the house.” “Right, after this last box.” “You're not going to eat them, are you?” “No, NAME. We're going to go to some dumb country and try to use them as money.” — Rose, Blanche & Dorothy

80 “I can't believe you said that! Oh, if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.” “You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.” — Blanche & Dorothy

81 [NAME running after a dog] “Ha! Would you look at that: man's best friend, chasing man's best friend!” — Dorothy

82 “I won't stand for this!“[gets up and starts to walk out] “Take it, NAME!” “But I bet you'll lie down for it.” — Blanche, Sophia & Dorothy

83 “NAME, you should make us eat dirt, make us grovel, give us the silent treatment...” “NAME, if you give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt.” — Rose & Dorothy

84 “Cooking, NAME?” “No, NAME, I'm developing pictures for the Magellan Space Program.” — Rose & Dorothy

85 “Do we have any orange juice left?” [person two pours the rest in their glass] “No, we’re all out.” — Rose & Dorothy

86 “Go hug a landmine.” — Dorothy

87 “Now, what’s wrong?” “I lost it, NAME!” “You never had it, NAME.” — Dorothy & Stanley

88 “You knew I wanted to spend tonight alone.” — Rose

89 “Darn it. I gotta kiss somebody at midnight.” — Blanche

90 “Pizza, dammit! Get pizza!” — Dorothy

91 “What the hell goes on at night in this house?!” — Dorothy

92 “Just drives you nuts, doesn’t it, NAME?” — Rose

93 “Can you believe that backstabbing slut?” — Rose

94 “I’m here if you wanna pick my brain.” “NAME, I think we should leave it alone and let it heal.” — Rose & Dorothy

95 “And the world heaves a collective sigh of relief.” — Sophia

96 "Must you always be so cheerful, you empty headed Mary Poppins knockoff?'—Blanche

97 "What? Are you out of what is left of your mind?!"—Blanche

98 “All I do is listen to your sexual problems. How about my sexual problems?” — Sophia

99 “Blow it out your ditty bag.” — Sophia

100 “Your heart's in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is." — Sophia

101 “Think about it. You live alone. No one likes you." — Sophia

102 “You're moving. Too bad. This would be touching if I liked you more." — Sophia

103 “Go ahead. Stand up and say it. My name is NAME, and I am an idiot." — Sophia

104 “You're here because the rhythm method was very popular in the [insert decade of birth]." — Sophia

105 “Get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head." — Sophia

106 "Exactly how close to the television are you sitting when you're watching TV SHOW.” — Sophia

107 “Boom! You've got a social life." — Sophia

108 “You drink out of a brown paper bag and suddenly everybody’s your friend.” — Sophia

109 “Remember NAME, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “I think I crossed that line when I got a date!” — Dorothy & Sophia

110 “If you can’t count on family, who the hell can you count on?” — Sophia

111 “In this life, that’s all we have, is hope.” — Sophia

112 “Here’s a newsflash, witches can fly.” — Sophia

113 “It’s great bringing two idiots closer together.” — Sophia

114 “NAME, a man/woman called for you while you were out.” “Finally, now we can break out that bottle of champagne we’ve been saving.” — Rose & Sophia

115 “Gee, with only three hours sleep, I can be just as bitchy as you.” — Rose

116 “Gee, Sophia! You’re awfully cranky today.” — Rose

117 “The doctor says it’s the first time he’s ever been called because a baby was sleeping in the day. And then I think he called me an idiot.” — Rose

118 [astonished]  “You paying for something?” “What are you saying, I'm cheap?” “Well, of course he’s/she's saying you're cheap. You're the only man I know who owns a time-share dog!” — Rose, Stanley & Dorothy

119 “Hey, what is this? You're talking about me like I'm an animal. [sniffing NAME] You've been with a man, haven't you?” — Sophia

120 “I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.” “Ah, your first kiss was in the rain?” “No, it was in the shower.” — Blanche & Dorothy

121 “You know, I've been thinking ...” “Oh, that would explain the beads of sweat.” — Rose & Blanche

122 “God, I hate morning people.” — Blanche

123 “He’s/She’s a lewd, horny, oversexed beast with five hands.” “You don’t have to build him/her up to me, honey. I like him/her just fine already.” — Rose & Blanche

124 “You ... you ... you rude person!” “Go easy on him/her, NAME.” — Rose & Dorothy

125 “This would be touching if I liked you more.” — Sophia

[meganharperr-blog]

COVID-19 Day 3

Why did I start on day 3 you might ask? Well day 1 was reserved for crying, self pity, deep bouts of depression, restless anxiety, and a shit ton of edibles. Day 2 was consumed by coming up with a plan. So let’s back track to what I can remember about those days and the questions I have been asked:

1.  What made you get tested? Did you have symptoms? I very honestly get routine tests. If I am exposed to larger groups of people than my norm, I get tested. If I have a bunch of makeup gigs, I get tested. I get tested for my clients and customers. It is my moral obligation and civil duty to make sure I am 100% healthy to perform justifiably in all the fields I conduct business…which is a vast amount of service based income. I am a makeup artist, and Esthetician, and a Bartender. I either have my hands physically on someone or I am serving masses of people at a given time. Now doing all of this I have become insanely hyper aware of sanitation. In my studio I have Clorox wipes at arms reach, I sanitize with Barbicide and I am Barbicide certified, all sheets and blankets get washed after every client, and if you have had your makeup done by me before you know I wont use the same brush twice and it must be sanitized in-between clients. This has all been second nature to me for years. So when I had a bunch of photoshoots and clients on the books I knew it was time to get tested for peace of mind. Only a week and 1/2 after my last COVID test. The only thing I can even consider a symptom would be the night before I had a headache. I took Advil and it went away no problem. I was also on my cycle and having cramps…or could they have been “body pains”? Shit idk. All I know is I made a joke about having COVID on my way to my rapid testing…

2. Have you heard that the rapid tests are not as accurate? When I got my results back in 15 min and it was my first ever positive I was shocked. I did not trust it right away and pretty much everyone in my circle said get a second opinion. So I got 2 more. One was another rapid test. The other would get back to me in 3 days. I mentally claimed it was a false positive. 

My brain: “shiiiit. There aint no way. No way in hell girl. You careful as shit. You got all these blessings coming your way. Business is booming. Opportunities are rising. Aint no slowing down for 2 weeks right now.” 

I of course made my partner come with me and get a rapid test as well as the test that would take 3 days to get back to us. While waiting for the results I wanted to get vitamins and snacks and what ever else I may need if this does become my reality. We get to Publix and my heart sinks into my asshole and I’m like…. SHOULD I EVEN GO IN THERE?! The anxiety started building right then and there. I thought to myself “Just keep your mask on, Social distance, you know wtf goin on just be safe” … as we get into the store I wasn’t feeling it. I saw older people around me and I just didn’t feel right and in that moment my phone started to ring. I bursted into tears and couldn’t even stay in the store. I just knew it. It was legit.. 

The lady on the phone was so nice. She asked if it was what I expected to hear and I honestly said “no”. Because I just knew I didn’t have it. I knew how careful I had been.I am not a perfect person by any means but I see y'all reckless ass Mfer’s out there and we are not the sameeeee man shit nawwww this couldn't happen to me. But it did. 

3. How did you get it? OMFG IDK! I have exhausted my brain with this question. How could this happen to me? Shit did I drop my mask at some point? Did I get too close to someone outside at ( insert bar name here ) when I went to have a drink on Saturday night? But it was outside? 

Googles : “Can you catch COVID outside? “

    “Can you catch COVID with a mask on?”

    “Can you catch COVID from  it being on your clothing?”

    “Can you catch COVID from a toilet seat?”

I mean you name it I Googled it. And the unfortunate answer was yes to all of the above. I got tested on the 4th. So I know I got it sometime after that. I of course contacted everyone I came in contact with….which was horrible! I felt freaking terrible!!! I swear it was worse than narrowing down an STD culprit. It’s like shit… you get an STD…you hit up your top 5, or top 10…look idk your life like that…and have everyone get tested. Let’s be real though you got it narrowed down and think you probably know who did you dirty….Get the results back and boom its over with. Take the meds move on with your life no-one has to know. COVID on the other hand can fucking KILL YEW, PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, GRANDMAS THAT THEY CARE ABOUT, CHILDREN WITH PRE-EXISTING ISSUES, IT CAN KILL PEOPLE. So you gotta back track back track. Make sure all bases are covered especially when you work multiple outlets which is mad important these days. THE MORAL of all this is… idk. Idk how I got it. I am mad careful. I be judging you on social media for being out and reckless without a mask on. I get tested frequently. I have hand sanitizer in every bag I own, in my car, and all over my home. I AM A NEAT FREAK and a GERMY! I am careful. To say the least..but not perfect I am sure after working 10 hours in a mask I have let it fall for a few min! I am sure on my bike I have dropped it out of pure exhaustion. I know I have tried hard, but I am still human and this is all new.  So y’all non-maskers out there think you on to something…in reality you could have it too and not even know. Psh. Anyways. Next question…

4. Does your partner have it too? No. Somehow no. This is where we had to start coming up with a plan. We work together so this puts us both out of work. LUCKILY we have been saving incase of a shut down and we also have back up savings for a home we *hope* to purchase next year so that plan was solid…. But how to keep him healthy? Just because I do not have symptoms does not mean his body will react the same way. I need to make sure he does not get infected as well. We are going to continue to get him tested for the next several days to monitor that. He is quarantining and I am in what is called “isolation”for a minimum of 14 days. We try our best to stay in different rooms. We have a tiny apartment with one bathroom, so I am just constantly sanitizing right now. Everything I touch or may have touched gets a Clorox wipe. We both wear masks 24/7 in the house. Even if he goes outside to walk the dog, I am keeping a mask on. I have learned so much in the past 48 hours about contracting the virus that I do not even want to risk a drop of my saliva in this house. I am doing disposable masks every day. I luckily have plenty of masks and gloves from working on clients. If I cook I wash my hands, sanitize, then put on gloves. We eat in separate rooms or at the edge of the room so it feels like we are eating together. We are really trying our best and that is some shit they do not prepare you for. Your partner has to be careful around you. They cannot touch you or even come near you and sometimes have to remind you of that. Try to do chores in separate rooms. Try to not get your feelings hurt because its not that they don’t want to be around you, but it is dangerous and they cannot be. So my poor lil feelings keep getting hurt, but I’m a tough gal it’ll be alright I just want to make sure he stays healthy. 

5. Can you breathe? So this brings us to day 3. We have a plan. It has been working. I have my little cleaning things I am doing in one room, he has his in another…and I am pretty much in Go Mode. Before all of this I had a Cleaning Babe coming to help me with things so I had a list for her. I just embodied her and did the list myself plus some major decluttering. I have a ton of clothes to donate (that I am letting sit bagged up for 14 days just to be cautious before donating…some shit I read idk…might get anxious and throw it all away…tbd) so while I am going to town cleaning out my abyss I start to get really short of breath and kinda lethargic. I laid down on the bed to catch my breath for several minutes then took a little break from cleaning. This is the first time I have felt any type of crazy. I still have a lot of anxiety about the days to come. Will it get worse? Will I start to feel like actual hell on earth? Will I be able to keep my partner safe? Shit idk but I am trying really hard. They simply do not tell you about the anxiety that you will have. It is normal. You are going to be generally overwhelmed if you are a good person. Just stay good. and Stay aware.... and Stay tuned. I may not write every single day. But I will keep you updated. If you have any helpful stuff for me to read, please send it my way! If you have any questions feel free to ask. If you have been in this situation with a live in positive and negative… what’s your advice? My DM’s and PM’s are open.