#i legit do not know how i get such nice asks

[typingtess]

Kensi found Nell alone in Ops. "Hey, I wanted to apologize. You and Eric shouldn't have had to do couples therapy with me and Deeks. Not that we're a couple or anything."

"You're living together in a high risk undercover operation. I'm sure everything was all amped up."

"Like Deeks's neat-freakery."

"Neat-freakery?"

"He was dusting the bedroom ceiling with a microfiber cloth on the top of a broom. Said he wanted a clean sleeping space. I mean, who dusts their ceiling?"

Nell dusted her ceilings once or twice a year and anytime there were fires near her place but she let Kensi continue her solo end of couples therapy. It was endlessly interesting.

"But I don't want to talk about Deeks and his issues," Kensi said, still wanting to talk about Deeks's need for clean. "Your dating profile…"

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about that."

"I had one."

"You're a field agent, an undercover operator. How…"

"Fake name. Didn't work, Deeks found it. It was about when you joined the team."

"It's just hard to meet people here. My work legend says I'm in television news. But in LA, if you work in television, you're not a prospective date, you're a contact in getting someone their dream news job."

"Yeah, Hetty made me a studio publicist. I was getting asked to pass along headshots on second dates."

"It's not just wanting to date – though I'd like to meet someone nice. I'd just like to meet people. I've been here over six months but outside of the people here at the office, I know my neighbor to say hello and the guy at the Mini dealership who sold me my car."

"I know the feeling. When I moved here a couple of years ago, I'd drive down on the weekends to Pendleton and visit my friends. Some of my college friends wound up in LA over the last two years but I just started doing things."

"Like what?"

"I found a hiking group. We go someplace one a month. A few people go every month, most people are in and out. We're going week after next if you're looking to meet some different people. School teachers, accountants, lawyers, the woman who runs it is a nurse so there is always someone who knows what to do if there is a medical issue."

"Have there been medical issues?"

"Trip and falls, poison oak – nothing major but nice to know if you get a scratch, she has some stuff in her fanny pack."

"Bro bag."

"Yeah, let's not ever use that term again." Kensi chuckled. "Come hiking. Because a lot of the people are the hike are busy professional types, we start around 8:30AM Saturday morning. We'll be done around noon."

"That's a quick hike."

"Sharon, the lady who started the group, had teenagers when she started this. She needed a few hours of 'Sharon-time' while her husband drove them to different sporting events. 8:30AM seemed like a good way for a big fancy law firm lawyer or television executive to get some of their own time and then go back to their busy life."

"Or a busy NCIS Agent."

"Or a busy NCIS Agent. I take my phone with me – I'm one of the few actually – but so far we've never been called in. It's just a nice way to clear my mind after being undercover or giving a deposition for case."

"Sounds nice."

"If I'm not to sweaty, I find someplace to have a nice sit-down lunch. More head clearing. I throw a book in my car so I'll read a little while the food is being made. You and I can grab a bite after the hike. Just talk about silly stuff."

"Sounds really nice but I don't know."

"It is fun. We're going through the old LA Zoo at Bee Rock. If have a decent camera, there are some really scenic views. Nice people on the trail – Sharon has a strict no-assholes policy."

"And most dating sites don't have a strict no-assholes policy."

"True."

"Let me think about it. No, you know what, I'll be there. Do I need to sign up or anything?"

"I'll send you the link. Just first names so you don't have to worry and I ran a background check on Sharon, she's legit – pediatric nurse at UCLA."

"Some world live in where we're running background checks on women tending to sick children."

"I'm coming off a case where the cranky old guy across the street was a decades old Russian deep cover spy. Trust but verify."

Eric walked into Ops. "Hi, do we have a case?"

"No, just talking about the cranky old Russian spy next door," Nell said to Kensi with a smile.

"You never know," Kensi stood and made her way to the door. "And for the record, Deeks is a total neat freak."

NCIS Los Angeles

S03 ep22 Neighborhood Watch

Poor Nell...

[juniper-clan]

i have to say i admire how much love and care youve put into this universe.. all the little details in this comic make it feel so fleshed out, and you put so much care into your characters, even the minor ones . i love to see the things from other media that you draw inspiration from for your cats its so wonderful idk i just love to see someone with a keen eye for art in all its forms ;_; and i was floored by death grips in the last moon lmfao

Thank you so much! This is an incredibly sweet ask.

I am a huge art lover and find a lot of inspiration from movies and music (me liking Death Grips is the ultimate jump scare) -- but I do think a lot of inspiration can be found in unusual sources.

Off the top of my head ... Magazine covers from the Victorian to WWII era and propaganda posters are great for color theory, and I reference them constantly. (I have a huge book on every cover of the Saturday Evening Post's 70+ year runtime)

I just woke up from a 12 hour sleep so this ask probably won't make much sense or it will have a lot of nonsequitors BUT I encourage everyone to look at old art, advertisements, music, and movies for inspiration. Stray from modernity, just a little.

Heronstar wouldn't be the character she is if it wasn't for the American noir / neo-noir concept of the femme fatale (largely Evelyn Mulwray a la Chinatown and Rachael a la Bladerunner)

[afterglowsainz]

friends | max verstappen

summary: you and max broke up a few months ago and he can’t seem to get over it, looking for a second chance with you or at the very least, be friends

fc: camila morrone

warnings: food

a/n: so happy for max!! (a bit sad for lando but he said he had fun so happier for max overall) anyways enjoy this one based on that justin bieber song that’s been on loop in my head this whole week

—

liked by maxverstappen1, sukiwaterhouse and others

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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others

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tagged samclaflin

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[hitomisuzuya]

Scara waking up to a needy reader sitting on his chest patting his head wanting to be eaten out? After she was making out with him when he was like, asleep to half asleep and playing with his cheeks and stuff because he's cute and she's cute and they find EACH OTHER CUTE?

scaramouche x fem!reader. smut. cunnilingus. fluffy fluff fluff. soft!scara.

i am feeling kinda really down, and writing this made me feel a little better. i hope everyone is well.

it is extremely rare for you to wake up before scaramouche. his arm around you kept you possessively tucked against him, like he was afraid someone was going to snatch you away from him in the middle of the night.

you sat up as gingerly as possible, smiling softly at his oddly serene expression. you are instantly struck by how lucky you are. you reach up and brush some hair out of his eyes before you straddled him.

"you are beautiful, do you know that?" you murmur, leaning down to press a soft kiss on his lips. "and amazing," you kiss one of his cheeks, "and so strong," you kiss his other cheek. "you are the center of my world," you give him another soft kiss. "and i love you. i love you so much," another kiss, this time lingering.

if scaramouche woke up and legit asked you to go the altar with him, like right now, right this second, you would. no questions asked.

pulling away, you look down at his mouth. even his mouth is beautiful. a mouth that could do so many things. things that made your pussy clench and wet dampen your panties when you thought about it.

your lips hover over his again, gingerly rolling your hips down into his lap. you are starting to feel very, very needy.

"hm. cute," you let out a startled squeak as scaramouche opens his eyes, smirking a little up at you. through the haze of grogginess, he'd heard every word you said.

oh please, go on. he knows how great he is.

he chuckles softly seeing your reaction. "it's always nice to wake up to something cute in the morning," he is entirely teasing, which only flustered you more.

"sc-scara, i, uh, was just-" you began, a blush dusting your cheeks. you really are cute when you are embarrassed. he decided to let the cute unfold and let your embarrassment play out. you are just way too adorable for him not to.

you sigh, and squeeze your thighs together. "and i just really want you to eat me out," you conclude, looking away shyly. you truly hadn't known the definition of what needy is until you got together with scaramouche.

scaramouche taps your hip, a signal for you to roll off of him. no sooner had you roll off of him onto your back and spread your legs, he is slotted between your thighs, moving your panties aside. he hums in sleepy approval tasting how wet you are as he parts your folds with his tongue. "so needy for me, even early in the morning. adorable."

you shiver as his tongue glides over your clit. "u-use your tongue, right there. please," you moan softly, raising your hips to grind your swelling clit on his tongue. you card your fingers through his soft hair in encouragement.

scaramouche groans sleepily into your pussy as you tug on his hair, gently pushing his mouth down more onto your cunt. he flattens his tongue on your clit, kitten licking and swirling, lazily bullying the sensitive nub. he always gives his precious girl what she wants.

your moans become more consistent the more your clit throbs. his warm, greedy tongue laps long, indulging stripes up and down your pussy. moving his tongue back up to your clit, he stroked your thighs soothingly when you start to whimper.

you offer yourself so sweetly, how could he possibly resist indulging himself?

pleasure burst behind your eyes, the tip of his tongue prodding methodically at your clit while he sucks is making you see literal stars. he vibrates a lewd moan of bliss on your pussy, you always get so wet when he works your clit over.

his eyes nearly roll into the back of his head feeling your pretty pussy clutch his tongue like a glove as he sweeps it inside you. "fuck, pretty. you taste so good," he groans, lapping at your hole. he was already hard when he woke up, getting harder still the more your sweet juices saturate his tongue.

you gasp softly, your orgasm starting to build in your core. "ah, scara! only your tongue can make me feel this good!" you cry out, your legs shaking as you shamelessly grind your pussy on his mouth.

his grip tightens on your thighs, his cock pulsing and leaking precum. you are oh so good for his ego. you are so close to cumming he can taste it. feel it in the way you are twitching.

"ah, ah, make me cum, scara! please!" you whimper desperately, holding his mouth down on your pussy as he returns his tongue to your poor, neglected clit.

"it sounds so good when you cry for me," he moans, kitten licking your clit and sending your walls to clamp around nothing. you writhe restlessly, the building of your orgasm stealing the breath from your lungs as you moan.

scaramouche nearly cums tasting you squirting on his tongue, sweeping it back inside of you to taste you cumming. lapping up your release, he sucked on your pussy, determined to overstimulate you before he makes you cum again.

[begginmonty]

working with mike

(this doesn't follow the plot directly and mike works like more than just 3 shifts, also this is legit 2k words long i got so so so carried away im just so in love with mike, apologies!! its also not been proofread sorry <3)

before mike is hired alongside you, steve raglan had given you the job a week or so ago after you had lost your last job over a silly customer dispute (the customer is never right) and steve was your last hope at job, and bingo he had one. here you are 2 weeks later, waiting by your car outside the rundown pizzeria, waiting to train the new guy whose supposed to help you

a car pulls up and out comes a very pretty, but very tired/drained, looking guy, you introduce yourself with a small smile and he doesn’t return it, and is like “im mike”, you give him the benefit of the doubt that he hasn't smiled at you, new jobs are stressful.

the first shift goes fine, you tell him the basics and show him the training video tape, which alongside your commentary of making fun of some of it and nit-picking little things finally gets an amused smile from him. you can see him ease up a little. he doesn’t talk as much as you do but he seems to enjoy your ramblings. 

you show him the showtime performance after he looks confused about ‘animatronics’ . watching his reaction of the animatronics rendition of talking in your sleep by the romantics is a little amusing to you but you were the same way when vanessa had shown you originally.

“its something isn’t it?” he doesn't reply, he just stood looking in disbelief. 

when morning rolls around, you show him how to lock up and then give him his own key that steve had given you. 

“wasn’t so bad was it?” 

“it was..different” 

the second shift alongside mike is different but a good different. he’s running a little late and walks in on your blasting an 80s hot pop hits tape over the old speakers, vacuuming the main dining area. a smile, that melts his heart a little, lights up your face as you see him walk in.

“im sorry i’m late the babysi-”

“hey, dont stress it. you still made it!” 

he is not used to someone being so nice and friendly to him??  its foreign but he finally cracks you a small smile, watching you as you turn on the vacuum and continue listening to the music. (i need to hug him i stg)

he hasn't met anyone as nice as you in a long long time, it’s refreshing for him

and not in a creepy way !!!!!!!!!!! but he watches the cameras and watches as you just listen to the music as if the world isn’t there and continue to clean the area. 

“need a hand?” 

mike speaks up as you take a break leaning against a table, facing the main stage, the curtains open (as your next task is going to clean around the animatronics, it’s getting too dusty), music turned down quietly. he comes and leans against the table with you. you start small talk, saying something about the animatronics and you guys talk a little.

“so, you said something about a babysitter, do you have, like, a kid or something? sorry if im being too nosy, please tell me to shut up or something” mike cannot get over how nice you are

and then mike explains his living situation, and then the two of you get into a discussion about how families can suck and be shitty ect

and mike really likes how you don't pry or ask him lots of questions like others have done in the past, this man is really liking you and he’s only know you for two days

“this guy…must’ve been on something to make this place” and mike laughs a little !!! for the first time you got him to laugh !!

“yeah it’s something isn’t it..” both of you are sat against a table just staring at the animatronics in front of you

the two of you make small talk as you wipe down the dust covered tables but you can see how tired he is, he’s yawning a little bit.

“hey, you know, you can like sleep on the job by the way?” he looks up at you from the table, “sometimes i take a good couple hours nap in the office, no ones breaking into this place anytime soon”

he tries to protest and mentions towards the cleaning products and you brush him off, “go, you need it”

mike feels a strange warmth in his heart the hasn't felt, maybe ever? and he naps for a few hours whilst you continue to clean around. cleaning isn't in your job description but honestly you���re worried about the level of dust entering your lungs y'know

a loud thud and chair scraping noise comes from the office and you run to it and see mike on the floor, he looks confused and you help him to sit up. you ask if he’s okay but he seems out of it, “mike, whats wrong?”

sitting on the floor together, mike explains everything to you and opens up to you about a little brother he had, and tells you about his dream issues and sleep issues and you can see he’s upset and shaken by this dream. He shows you the sleeping pills and he explains the dream theory he’s been reading about.

“this is the part where somebody usually calls me crazy” 

“you aren’t crazy, mike” mike notices how kind you eyes are and how warm your voice is, “i’ve seen crazy. you are far from it” you joke a little and he has the faintest smile tug at his lips. 

finally home time woo !! as you lock up the gate, you watch as mike goes to his car, “mike wait!”

he turns around almost instantly at your voice as you run up to him, you pull something out from your hoodie a fazbear security badge and hand it to him, “you’re officially security now” he takes it from you and thanks you with that small smile. 

3rd shift passes (you could’ve sworn foxy was standing in a different spot and bonnie’s hand placement looked completely different) and vanessa comes for her weekly visit and meets mike. when you aren’t with them, vanessa brings up the fact that you’re one of the kindest and nicest people she’s ever met and mike agrees. 

next shift goes by and another and you guys have a long conversation about everything and you tell him more about yourself. hes never really been romantically involved with anyone but somebodysss got a crush (its him and well, you do too). and then you let him sleep and decide to tackle the old kitchen. (you could’ve sworn you heard someone walk down the hallway but you double check and no ones there)

mike dreams again and you swear you hear a groan and you walk to the office to see him, out of breath, breathing, clutching his arm and theres blood coming from it and he looks up at you trembling. “oh my god mike, what happened?”

you sit opposite him, patch him up and make him a hot drink, and he's explaining everything to you and you can tell he’s really getting bothered by these dreams. (you also think hes hurt himself from falling off the chair somehow..unbeknownst to you)

he’s tearing up a little and you just hold his hand in yours, and he's looking at your kind eyes and he doesn’t know how to react to being touched, he stops talking (mike is incredibly touch starved oh my god) and, carefully, you lean forward and hug him very gently.

he’s stiff at first but you can feel him relax into the hug and he wraps his non-injured arm around you and grips onto your back, “its okay mike. you’re okay” you can tell he really needs this hug and you can tell no one has really hugged him in a long time.

when the shift ends and you say goodbye for the day, your car just refuses to start. you cannot start it at all. you get out the car and look at it in a huff, but lucky for you mike hasnt driven a way yet

he gets out his car and you explain to him about your car, and he offers if you want a lift home or at least back to his house (his house is much closer than yours) and you can call someone about the car and you agree.

the drive is nice, you notice he has a great taste in music

meeting abby!! mike excuses himself for a shower whilst you're ringing the mechanics for your car, and he accidentally falls asleep on his bed after. when he wakes up (a good hour or so later, which you really don't mind) he walks into the living room to see you and abby sat on the floor colouring together with a cartoon on the tv, and you guys are really getting along and she’s wearing your security guard vest and badge. (her friends told her to trust you)

“uh abby, why dont you get ready for school?” mike speaks up, causing you both to look in his direction. 

you can't fight the fact that he looks hot with joggers and shirt on, looking sleepy as hell aHHH

“okay” abby smiles and gives you back your stuff and runs off to her room to get ready for school. 

he walks over to you and sits down on the couch, “im sorry for falling asleep-”

you sit next to him and place your hand on his arm and smile, “its fine, mike, really. your sister is lovely”

mike looks up from your hand and looks at your face. he looks sleepy and gorgeous and you look gorgeous to him and your eyes are so kind and theres a moment. some sort of magnetic force kinda pulls your faces closer together.

“im gonna be late!” says abby running into the room.

mike drops abby to school and you stay in his house, waiting for the mechanic to eventually call you back like he says he will. you feel a little awkward sitting on his couch watching tv but you have nothing better to do.

he comes back he offers you a shower and some of his clothes as he feels bad for you having to sit in work clothes. 

the way his heart feels when he see’s you walk out to the bathroom and back to the couch next to him wearing one of his sweatshirts and a pair of his joggers as well hMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm (too early for love?)

he smells good

you must both drop off to sleep, as a few hours later mike opens his eyes for a minute to the TV showing some drama show, and then he notices a heavy feeling on his chest. there you are, passed out, in his clothes, head on his chest peacefully asleep. 

this is something he’s never felt before !1!!1 

he blushes (thank god you’re asleep) and brushes a hair out of your face, staring down at your sleeping face (uh oh someones in love) before grabbing the worn blanket from behind him and throwing it over your exposed legs.

you stirr a little, your arm wrapping around his lower half and he's so flustered and sleepy and aHHHH

he wraps his arm around your shoulders gently and passes out again (PART 2??)

[hyunjiiza]

ꕀ ✸ dance your heart ‹𝟹 (and mine) away ༶

【d-a-n-c-e ୨୧】 𓏲 when 𝑒𝘯𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘯 members meet (and crush on) their new choreographer , you ◠ .ᐟ 𝓌.𝒸 ◌ 𝟷𝟼𝟷𝟸 ㄑ𝑝𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ᛝ ot7 ! 𝓍 gender neutral! reader ⢄cont. | reader can dance , first time meetings - mentions of mistreatment (super vague), reader gets called pretty / cute ᝰ library  

❥ 𝒾𝘴𝘢’𝘴 note ꕀ | hi guys !! my first time writing for enha so im a little nervous but i think its okay, i might do a part two as a smau or something where you actually start dating! first post in a while that isn’t a re up load .. i got a burst of motivation so im taking advantage ,, also i started watching dahmer and i like how it was filmed and how they portray everything so if you’re into that kind of stuff i recommend giving it a watch !! happy reading

ʚ ni-ki ɞ

definitely thrown off guard when they’re promised a new choreographer and someone his type walks in

subtly tries to get to know more about you while making it seem like he’s just being nice

has to debate going extra hard to impress you or acting stuck to get your help

“can you maybe do it with me? or can i watch you do it first??”

all the other members notice and make fun of him but they like you too so they’re unintentionally wingmen

jungwon convinces you to hang out with all of them and seats you and niki together (everyone can tell what he’s doing)

he legit goes red and stiff as a board when you sit next to him even though he tries so hard to be nonchalant and cool

works up the courage to ask to have a one on one session to work on new choreo

spoiler: it’s awkward because he’s shitting bricks

“so.. do you have a boyfriend..”

“you couldn’t ask me that after i got out of a handstand”

ʚ jungwon ɞ

is plotting on you the MOMENT you introduce yourself

what initially draws him to you is the way you’re insistent on making the dance room a safe space for them

takes full advantage of the fact that he’s the leader and is always hogging you

late nights together: making new choreography, learning new tricks, drafting stretches and vocal exercises to do while working out, laughing and laying together flat back on the cool dance floor. this is when he really starts understanding his feelings for you.

watches the way you interact with all the other boys to determine if he really wants to go for it or not

asks you to stay after practice one day and you genuinely think you’re about to get fired but he just walks out of the room and then back in with flowers and a pretty flush to his face

“ithinkyou’rereallyprettyandireallyreallywannatakeyouonadatepleasesayyes ..?”

“uh.. what?”

ʚ sunoo ɞ

wasn’t even listening when the company told the group they were getting a new choreographer so when you walk into the room and introduce yourself he takes it as a blessing

he does actually get a little stuck sometimes and is prepared to be scolded but when you just explain it slower for him he falls hard

once you settle into a comfortable rhythm with the whole group he recruits jungwon to ask about your love life, your type and if you wanna date someone

convinces you to stay with him after practice to “take his instagram pictures” but really just wants to have alone time with you

doesn’t really know how to ask you out so he just gradually gets you to go out with him more and more

facetimes you saying he has questions but just makes you stay on the phone with him while he does skincare and falls asleep

“you bought this for me?? it’s really expensive !”

“i’m bribing you. will you go out with me?”

ʚ sunghoon ɞ

nervous when they’re all waiting to meet you, (even though it’s literally not a big deal he’s just weird.) definitely bouncing his leg up and down

cusses up a storm in his head when he realizes he’s gonna have to work with you and his heart is definitely not gonna be able to handle that

messes up because he gets distracted staring at you

convinces jungwon to ask if you can be there for filming because he likes your presence

catches you practicing before actual practice starts and scares the shit out of you bc he’s just there staring at you

wants to die when you fall out of what you were doing and trip

cringes at himself and goes to help you get up with his stupidly muscly arms

“i’m so sorry..” while he’s still holding you and doesn’t realize he can let you go now til you start laughing

bonus: let’s you go and you fall again and then he falls to the floor laughing with you

“your laugh is cute”

“you’re cute”

“yeah. wait what?!”

ʚ jake ɞ

thinks he’s being nonchalant about his crush but stares at you the whole time they practice

gets really into the dance and makes stupid faces and is really embarrassed after

convinces you to go get food with him after a super long practice and you end up talking for hours about everything

it’s great, until you realize you walked there. and the other members left him.. and your car is currently getting a tire replaced

gets an uber with you to your house, walks you to the door, and then the uber leaves him because he thinks he’s going there too 😭

he’s actually really embarrassed and thinks you think he’s stupid but he gets heeseung to come get him and you let him in and make him play uno with you

heeseung comes! to save the day!! he also gets stuck playing uno ..

everyone falls asleep on your couch

you and jake end up waking up together in the morning and make breakfast together like you’re parents

gentle grabs of the waist from behind, grabbing things from top shelves for you, maybe even a kiss up against the counter

“are you guys fucking making out? and what is that smell??”

“the eggs :(“

safe to say all three of you do the walk of shame into the practice room after breakfast

ʚ jay ɞ

literally doesn’t care that they’re getting a new choreographer

until you walk in

“bro who is that??” “the new choreographer?? who else dumbfuck??”

literally acts like an outstanding citizen. does NOT let you catch him lacking.

cleans up, buys everyone snacks from the vending machine, if you need a volunteer he’s there

everyone laughs at him because they can tell he’s just trying to impress you, so they come up with a master plan to also act like him so he has to step it up

he almost throws a brick at jungwon when he starts getting you your favorite drink before every practice, looking him directly in the eye every time he hands it to you and you smile

“i can take you out and stuff. like we can go out together you know?? and get you more than drinks. if you want..”

(while he’s red in the face)

ʚ heeseung ɞ

is the most skeptical about someone new coming in, so your first session after meeting he’s just watching you

someone messes up and you jokingly say “everyone drop and give me 100” and they actually start and you’re just like what the hell

when you’re like “guys please i was kidding” everyone is also like what the hell bc they thought you were fr

he thinks the concerned look on your face is so cute he isn’t even embarrassed about dropping to the floor instantly

you make NO jokes after that and everyone feels bad (including you)

jake suggests you all go out for ice cream to break the ice (haha)

heeseung runs over to the seat next to you

you get the same flavor and he’s silently coming up with baby names bc he’s convinced it’s fate

once everyone starts laughing together you rest your head on his shoulder without noticing and he creams his pants and leans his head on top of yours

“get a room” -niki. followed by a smack

𖨂 tag | @cosmicalily @0sunshinecryptid0 @jinnieboosworld @lixies-favorite-cookie @zelinkcrossing @hwanqluvs @eastjonowhere @nxtt2-u @pixie-felix @smlbch @tricky-ritz @yaniluvs @pigeonseatmayo @transparentheartcollection @4ng3l-ch1ld | 【༝༚ 】 @hyunjiiza 7:07

[coco-loco-nut]

Iconic

pairing: Oscar Piastri x reader

summary: you make it your life goal to embarrass Oscar and annoy him, keeping things fun in his life

masterlist

———————————

“He’s so cute,” a girl sighs in the McLaren fan zone.

“He really is,” you smile, leaning against the barrier.

“Oh my god, hi!” the girl gasps, recognizing you from your boyfriend’s Instagram. You haven’t had social media since you were cyber bullied in middle school, so you were a mystery to his fans. It also let you go to fan zone and have fun with them. You also run a fan page for Oscar on Instagram.

“Hi, I hope you don’t mind that I am standing here?” you say, holding a folded poster in one of your hand and an arm full of friendship bracelets that Oscar helped you make.

“Not at all, oh my god. Sorry, it’s just that you are so iconic,” the girl says and you quirk your eyebrow.

“How so?”

“You don’t have social media which is iconic, but all the fans know how nice you are, and you are always hanging out with us here,” one of her friends say, you nod along.

“Of course I would be here, I gotta support Papaya boys,” you smile. “Wanna help me embarrass Osc?” you ask the group around you.

“It would legit be our honor,” the one laughs, you laugh with her.

“Here,” you take off some friendship bracelets and exchange them with the girls.

“You are the best WAG,” another girl says and you blush a little, dutifully putting on each bracelet.

“I really do try. I even run a fan account for Osc,” you laugh, not revealing more than that.

“No way, that’s actually icon behavior,” the first girl says and you grin.

“Want to see the sign?” you ask, excited to show your latest sign off. Oscar tried to look but you refused to even work on it until he left the hotel.

“Yes!” you are quick to unfold the sign. Your neat handwriting carefully placed each letter just large enough so Oscar could read it.

“Omg, I can’t wait to see his reaction,” one of the fans say, the area is brimming full now, ready for the drivers to come out in a couple minutes.

“Make sure you get pictures of his reaction, he’s so cute when he’s embarrassed,” you giggle, getting ready to hold the sign in front of you as Lando walk onto the stage, excited to see what you wrote this time. He reads it and laughs, turning towards where Oscar is entering. You watch his brows furrow as he reads it. Oscar- I want to eat you up like a pastry :). The Australian’s face turns bright red as he laughs and winks at you, trying to hide his awkward embarrassment at the pickup line. It wasn’t your best, but it was the perfect amount of cringe. Lando gives you a thumbs up from the stage.

“You were right, his face was priceless,” the fan says as you watch Oscar push back his mousy brown hair before putting the hat back on. You swear you might be drooling while watching him, but you catch his gaze falling on you too.

“I LOVE YOU OSCAR!” you yell as he waves goodbye to the fans, giving you a wink. You make sure all of your friendship bracelets are given away before thanking the fans for being cool about you chilling with them. You head back to the paddock, scanning your pass, and beelining to the McLaren motorhome.

“Y/n, can I have that sign?” Lando asks and you happily hand it over.

“As long as you don’t use it to steal my man, have at it,” you chuckle as the Brit hugs you in thanks before walking away.

“Eat me like a pastry?” Oscar gives you an amused smile. “You do know my parents watch that, right?” His favorite thing about you his your playfulness, you can be serious when needed, but your teasing and jests keep his life fun.

“Oh, I know, your mom helped me with that one, the fans loved it too,” you laugh. “You did look so hot up there,” you slightly exaggerate checking him out.

“Why don’t we go back to my drivers room and you show me how you’d like to eat me?” Oscar whispers in your ear, trying to seduce you, but you resist.

“Oh, I’d probably start with the thighs, best muscle to fat ratio in my opinion. Hm, now I’m kinda hungry, what is in hospitality?” you ask, moving towards the food area. Oscar wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you back towards him as he picks you up to carry you to his room.

“Nope, don’t start things you can’t finish,” he says, clearly a little hot and bothered.

“Osc, I’m not a cannibal, I don’t actually eat humans,” you tease, not giving up on what you started. Oscar clearly had a different interpretation, maybe the right one, maybe not.

“Shut up before I make you shut up,” Oscar growls in your ear, quickly turning you on and making you drop the joke.

“Yes, Mister Piastri,” you say, knowing it’s affect on him as he drags you into his room, locking the door behind him. Oscar was a couple minutes late to his meeting, Lando holding back giggles as Oscar walks into the room.

“I see the fans aren’t the only ones who love Y/n,” Lando whispers to Oscar, who shoots him a glare. Meanwhile, you scroll Instagram using your fan page, laughing as some of them post the pic of you and the sign, the comments calling on your to reveal yourself via the fan page. You make a post about it as well just to blend in, thirsting over Oscar as well. You can’t imagine if he ever finds out about the account.

“Good luck, Osc. Drive safe,” you kiss him before he puts his helmet on.

“I am always safe,” he gives you his usual awkward smile, you smile back as he puts his helmet on. He squeezes your hand before walking over to the car. You take a seat in the garage, the headphones unflattering as always.

Your stomach drops as there is a crash late in the race, but you are instantly relieved when you realize that Oscar made in through and no one was hurt. He ends up in P2 for the race and you join the team in celebrating at the podium.

“Thank you for being my number one fan, even when you run a secret fan account,” Oscar hugs you in his drivers room.

“How? What?” you play if off but he just laughs, pulling out his phone.

“My private account follows you,” oscar laughs, and you just stare at him.

“That’s actually you? I thought it was a fan,” you quickly pull out your phone and request to follow his account, which he immediately accepts so that you can see all the cute posts he makes about you.

“Stop, Osc, you’re basically running a fan account for me,” you say, admiring his posts, including one from today of you holding the sign. You quickly type a comment that has the other drivers replying like crazy claiming that they found your secret account.

“You two decent?” Mark Weber’s voice says through the door, after a confirmation from Oscar, he lets himself in.

“Why wouldn’t we be decent, Mark?” you ask from the couch.

“I used to be a driver too, and after your fan zone sign nothing is off the table,” Mark shrugs causing you and Oscar to blush. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you great race, I will see you in a few days,” Mark tells Oscar before leaving the room again. You still aren’t sure how Oscar was able to bag the former F1 driver as his manager. Oscar yawns and you notice how tired he is, sleepy Oscar is your favorite version of Oscar.

“Alright, let’s get you back to the hotel, first loser,” you tease, helping him gather his things to leave.

“Hey,” he groans at the jab.

“You could be Lando NoWins, my love,” turning your jests onto his teammate.

“That is true,” Oscar yawns, holding your hand as he leads you to his chauffeured car.

“Osc, would you marry me if I was a worm?”

“Who said I’d marry you at all?”

“Alright, that’s it, I’m deleting your fan page,” you pull out your phone. Oscar basically tackles you in the back seat as he lunges for the phone.

“I take it back, I’ll marry you right now if you want,” Oscar pleads.

“Who said I wanted to marry you? Do I look like a worm?” you retort, putting your phone away. Oscar just sighs in defeat.

“God gives is strongest people his greatest challenges, I’m not strong enough for this,” he groans a few seconds later, the tiredness setting in.

“Sorry, baby, I promise you will get unlimited cuddles when we get back to the room,” you smile softly, holding his hand tight.

“I love you,” he whispers, his beautiful brown eyes gazing into your eyes.

“I love you too.”

[yawnderu]

bimbo!reader would be the type of girl to ask Simon if he would still love her if she was a worm and then get legit teary-eyed if he starts asking questions instead of just immediately answering yes. Has to say with the straightest face possible that of course, she would be the prettiest worm he'd ever seen, so that she doesn't cry and ruin her mascara because he knows it's her favorite brand

>bimbo!reader would be the most breathtaking worm he's ever seen, actually.

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” He blinks a few times, his warm hands pausing the gentle brushing they were doing through your hair. He looks down at you with raised eyebrows, utterly confused.

“What?” It's all he can ask, immediately regretting it when he notices the tears rimming your eyes, threatening to break free at any second now.

“So that's a no?” There are not many things Simon hates in this life, yet seeing you cry is on the top of the list. The way your voice breaks and you sniffle while trying to hold back tears is ripping his soul apart, no matter how silly the question is. He instantly cups your cheeks, his thumbs soothingly rubbing your cheekbones.

“'Course I'd still love you if you were a worm, angel.” He reassures, wiping your tears with his thumb to prevent them touching your pretty eyelashes. He knows how much you love the new mascara he bought you, and he doesn't want to see it all ruined.

“You'd be the prettiest worm ever— all pink and adorable, with marks that somehow look like the heels you always wear.” That drags a small giggle out of you, smiling up at him. You're not tearing up anymore, but you're looking at him expectantly, so he keeps going.

“I'd teach ya self-defense for when I'm not there to protect you. I'd make a new one, worm-wondo or something.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking away as he actually starts thinking about it, surprisingly getting too into the idea.

“And I'd keep you in a nice tank— custom made just for my pretty girl. It'd be all pink, have plenty of food, and I'd read fashion magazines for you.” Your small giggles are giving him life, looking down at you with a warm look in his eyes as he caresses your cheek, his other hand softly massaging your scalp. Something about encouraging hair-growth, from what he remembers of conversations with you.

“Prettiest girl ever and prettiest worm, too. Lovely girl you are.” He pinches your cheek softly, smiling when you grin up at him, fully reassured of his undying love for you. It's a hypothetical question for you, but for him? It's a promise.

Bimbo!Reader Masterlist

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[2:26 pm]

(cw: f!reader, profanity)

You weren't sure what you expected from your boyfriend, fratboy!Jaehyun, when you ran into the frat house with your arms full of a huge bag of clothes. God forbid a girl take advantage of a mega sale! The annual sale where a cute sundress cost less than your coffee order! Hello?! He was supposed to be excited about you doing a fashion show for him!

It was after your second outfit where you cat walked across his room in an outfit you'd been so excited to show him that you threw your heel at him.

He jumped, finally pulling his eyes away from his phone for longer than 10 seconds, "Sweetheart, what the hell?!"

"I'm asking you for your input and you're giving me nothing!" you yell, before dropping your voice to mock him, "yeah, Sweetheart that's nice. That's pretty. What are you even here for?!"

"... it's my room," Jaehyun mumbles in with wide eyes.

Stomping over to the door, then down the hall, you knock on Johnny's door. "I need you to show my dumbass boyfriend how to comment on some outfits, let's go," you tell him, not even giving him a second to refuse before you're leading him to Jaehyun's room.

You straighten out your blouse, exhaling before turning slowly, "what do we think of this outfit?"

"It's a cool shirt," Jaehyun states like he's asking a question.

You and Johnny scoff. Johnny clears his throat before adding, "I think the heels compliment the gold accents in your shirt. Slayed that shit, Sweets."

You smile excitedly at Johnny before your heels click on their way over to the bathroom you've taken over for your show. The next outfit is a cute sundress and a new pair of sandals which matches exactly as you'd envisioned.

Johnny cheers as you strut across the room, "yes! Baddie!"

You end your walk with another turn so they can get the fit from all angles, "I know the back is a little extra, but it's cute right?"

"It's cute," Jaehyun nods.

Johnny shoves him, "say that shit like you mean it, bro!"

"What?! The dress is cute!" Jaehyun yells with his hands thrown out in confusion.

"Can you put some effort into your commentary?" You ask with your hands on your hips.

"I don't know what you guys want me to say. I wouldn't wear the dress, but it's cute," Jaehyun adds, his eyes darting between you and Johnny.

"You're so fucking lucky Haechan is in class right now," Johnny mumbles, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "this isn't actually about the clothes, dude. You need to make Sweets feel pretty. She wants to hear that the outfit she's wearing is as good as she envisioned. Make your girl feel good! Does she look pretty right now?"

Jaehyun nods, "yeah."

"What makes her look more pretty right now with this dress on?"

"I really like how long her legs look in this dress. The color of the dress brings out the sparkles in her eyes," Jaehyun replies.

You preen with an excited squeal, "thank you, baby!" You press a kiss to Jaehyun's cheek before leaning in to embrace Johnny, "you're the best."

Johnny nods, patting your back, "my mom trained me well."

"Bee is a lucky girl," you smile at him before clapping your hands excitedly, "I have six more outfits and five more tops to try on! Ooh and a couple of skirts. Don't move."

You disappear from the room and Jaehyun turns to Johnny, "how long do I have to do this?"

"Jung Jaehyun, bro, I will legit beat your ass. Sit here and enjoy this. She's excited to show you outfits that she bought, come on," Johnny tells him.

Safe to say that after today, Jaehyun has fully learned how to compliment you in new outfits... and left with a few bruises from Johnny when he was lacking.

[judysxnd]

The lie detector interview

Okay so I made this a while ago (like everything I do it takes me months before publishing 🤭) . There is going to be a second part that I will post eventually, depends on how this one will do!

Y/n = your name

m/n = middle name

L/n = last name

Y/b/c = your birth city

————————————————————————

“Okay, the camera’s rolling” an off voice said to you as you were being attached to what felt like a thousand of wires.

Today you were doing a lie detector test for Vanity fair, with Pedro. Your new short movie just came out, and as you and Pedro were the main characters, you were on tour for many interviews for the past month. You were excited to do this one. You’ve seen many interviews with a lie detector and was curious about it. Not going to lie, you were also a little bit nervous about the question you would get. Thank god Pedro was with you.

“Okay so now that you are all set up, Pedro is going to ask you a few basic questions for like calibration and then you’ll get the real questions” a woman said off camera. You looked at Pedro, nervously smiling. He was reading the questions he had on his paper and couldn’t stop smiling.

“It’s making me so nervous” you admitted.

“Oh it’s going to fu-un” Pedro said as he read all the questions before staring at the camera laughing.

“Oh god. That’s it I’m legit scared” you said, looking at the camera than at the lady who was behind the detector.

“Okay, so basic questions first they said.” Pedro started. “Is y/n m/n l/n your real name?”

“Yes it is.” You said, looking at the lady. “I’m waiting for her reaction like I don’t know my name” you laughed. “Im already sweating”

“Don’t be so nervous” Pedro joked

“Wait until you’re in my seat mister” you both laughed.

“Were you born in y/b/c?”

“Almost wasn’t but yes it is true” you said looking at Pedro

“Now that one is good” Pedro suddenly said staring at the paper.

“Wait already? Oh my god I’m so not ready” you nervously said, moving your sweaty hands, looking at the camera.

“Is it true that you didn’t know who Oscar Isaac was before meeting him on set of Star Wars?” Pedro said with a big smile.

“What? No!” You immediately said. Pedro was laughing and looked at the lady.

“That’s a lie”

“Wait no, that’s not- well-” you tried to justify yourself

“Just tell the truth”

“I recognized the name but m- but yeah I actually didn’t know who he was” you admitted, looking down. “I’m sorry”

“We teased her a lot when we knew” Pedro said looking at the camera

“Yeah, by the way that’s not fair at all! I told you that as a secret and you told everyone!”

“It was only fair, you did reveal how we first met”

“It was accidental!”

“Moving on!” Pedro said trying to change the subject. You laughed. “Do you think I’m a better actor than Oscar?”

“Is it a real question?” You both laughed. “I’m going to get killed. Whatever the answer” Pedro nodded to the camera. “I’ve seen most of Pedro’s movies and he is- hm, but I also have seen Oscar acting real close and.. Oh god” you looked at the ceiling. “I’ll say you” you stared at each other for a few seconds, before Pedro turned his head towards the lady.

“It’s true” she said looking at him

“Nice one” Pedro said. You mouthed a “thank god”, nervously looking at the camera

“Is it true that you met Hayden Christensen?”

“Oh yes! I fangirled way too much, it was so embarrassing. It was so long ago, I think if I remember correctly that it was when he was filming Jumper, I simply bumped into him not far from his set” you said, facing the lady to have confirmation

“That is true”

“Yeah okay” you smiled, proudly.

“Are you single?” Pedro asked, staring into your eyes, knowing the answer. No one knew, but you’ve been dating for a few months. You’ve known each other for a few years, since you met Oscar on set actually, but filming this movie together brought you very close, creating an undeniable chemistry. So it was understandable when Pedro saw you blush, a lot.

“No” you simply admitted. He was surprised by the answer. He’d expect a lie. Neither of you looked at the lady for confirmation. You just looked at each other, smiling.

“Have you ever lied about yourself to get a role?” You laughed

“I may have exaggerated some skills but no, I never lied” you said. You both turned simultaneously towards the lady.

“True”

“Why do you seem surprised about that one?” You said laughing at Pedro’s expression. He couldn’t stop laughing.

“I am not surprised, but I also never saw you ice skating”

“I-” you thought for a second. “Oh yeah I did say that when I auditioned for- oh wait I can’t say” you shamefully said to the camera. “But I do know how to ice skate”

“Sure sure”

“Is it true that you had your first kiss on screen when you were 23?”

“Oh my god” you said looking down. “How did you guys had this information?” You said looking around. You were red like a tomato. “Yes” you said avoid eye contact

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of”

“Yeah sure like it’s not embarrassing that I was 23?”

“No” you rolled your eyes

“Okay last question”

“Thank god” you had your hands on the table.

“Did you lie during the interview but we didn’t get you?” You both playfully looked at each other.

“No” you looked at the lady.

“And that’s true”

“Finally! Get me out of this!” You started to move your arms, getting impatient. Pedro was laughing. “Yeah, keep laughing, you’re next”

“I have nothing to hide” he said standing up.

“We’ll see about that” Pedro stared at the camera, scared.

[skeletonh0e]

Headcanons about us overstimulating the boys until they go dumb pls? 🥺👉👈

Oh ho! I like how you think, read more for NSFW, the reader is gender neutral and I kept their anatomy vague. There's talk of a "hole" but no explicit reference to any type of genitals.

Also so I don't have to repeat this for each boy, there is a safe word in place so they can always legit tap out if they need to. Remember to practice kinks like these safely

Overstimulation | 🔞 Minors DNI

Classic Sans :

Let it be known Sans is not someone that loses his composure very easily, he remains calm, collected and confident even under some extreme pressure

So it makes you rather proud when you have him whimpering, panting and moaning beneath you like a bitch in heat.

You loosely tied his wrists to the headboard of the bed, placing yourself happily in-between his legs to play with his cock at your pleasure. Sucking, stroking, licking, milking orgasm after orgasm out of him, strains of his cum littered on your face and chest

A borderline devilish smirk on your face as you do so, one that really completes the look you have going on right now

There is a part of him that's trying to act like you aren't getting to him as much as you actually are, but it's not really an act he can put up for long.

Especially as you make him cum again and he nearly cries from the oncoming wave of pleasure, hips bucking wildly as you pull your hot mouth away from his aching member

"holy fuckin' hell you're gonna be the death of me at this rate-"

You giggle as you watch the fresh load of cum spill out of him, idly collecting it with your hand as you go down to massage his seed around your hole, you don't need much preparation to be honest but it's a little show to put on for him

You can see his dick twitch pathetically despite another whimpering erupting from him

"You you wanna fuck me?"

"y-yeah..."

He's so cute like this you almost consider making him cum again and really beg before you let him inside you, but you have some mercy on him and position yourself properly. Feeling accomplished at the relieved groan he gives once he's finally penetrated you

You ride him for the next several rounds, while it gives you some much needed relief you're still hellbent on uttering pampering your boyfriend, making sure he finishes plenty. He's basically an exhausted bag of bones who might as well be brain dead by the end of it

You're there for after care, soothing him, cleaning him, cuddling him, always double checking to make sure you didn't actually go too far.

Which he always just chuckles at before teasing you, "really know how to make a skeletons day night huh?"

Underswap Sans :

He's been such a good boy lately and you can't help but want to utterly spoil him, he's normally so hellbent on pleasuring you after all. So why not make tonight all about him?

And with your special touch? The poor boy is utterly pubby in your hands.

You hold him tightly in your arms as he trembles and whimpers, roughly plunging the vibrating fleshlight up and down on his cock. Enjoying all the cries that escape from him as he cums again and again and again, the poor boy cannot fucking cope. Especially when you keep the toy tightly down then rock it back and forth on his pelvis

He moans your name like a fucking mantra, face completely flushed as he nuzzles deep into your chest basically seeing stars at this rate

He starts to beg and moan that it's too much, that he physically can't cum anymore, that he can't take it before you soothe him, tell him that he's doing great, how pretty and cute he looks all the while, that you love him, that he's such a good boy and you nicely ask if he can just cum one more time

And before you know he's already finished again, whimpering all the while

Eventually the toy is removed the thing oozing with his seed, you make eye contact with Sans as you take a deliberately slow lick from it

Just like that his previously completely used up dick is hard again.

"You want more?"

"f-fuck me properly...please....please....please-"

How can you deny such a sweet request?

He goes for several more rounds before he actually is finished though, once again surprising you with his stamina especially during aftercare where he seems mostly recovered.

He is now dead set on "repaying" you for this and you can't help but just give him a little kiss on the forehead

Underfell Sans :

This man? This man right here?

Does not bottom often and it's very rare he lets you have any form of control when you are on top, so when he does let you switch it up? You go all out, he's tied up good and you tease the hell out of him. Taking your time with his body, massaging every spot that earns a moan, biting certain tender areas and your movements being slow delicious torture on his cock

And he's an utter brat about it the entire time

Constantly squirming, cursing like a sailor and demanding that you fucking get on with it already only for you to giggle then proceed to just take your sweet time

You take pride and joy over slowly breaking that haughty attitude of his, first time he cums he just scoffs, the tenth time he cums he starts to get....desperate...

Definitely makes you work for it, but you know how to press every button by now. What really gets him going is when you slowly run his member across your soaking wet hole then move away once he attempts to jerk his hips toward it

Especially as you cum alongside him, pleasuring yourself while the other hand works his dick. Getting him so close to where he wants to be but not letting him.

"y-you evil f-fucking bitch! i-i swear when I get my fucking hands on you when i get my hands on you when i-"

"Boys that use that language don't get to be inside me, try again."

He cums three more times, before nearly sobbing then properly begging to have him fuck you and be your little boy toy for tonight

And you enjoy every second of the sight.

Rest assured, though, he WILL have his revenge. Maybe not tonight but soon.

Horrortale Sans :

You gotta be bold as fuck to want to overstimulate this man, let alone overstimulate him to the point his mind goes blank from pleasure

He's a bit of a wild card even outside of the bedroom when he's perfectly calm, having him experience multiple orgasms? You're gonna drive him beyond feral

He needs to not only be restrained but muzzled because he will start biting and biting hard once you two get deep into it

You ride him, roughly without any regard for pace, taking full advantage of the fact that his restraints don't allow him to properly match any of his thrusts, always pulling yourself off of him the moment he cums and all you hear are the lowest growls out of him

It's quite literally like watching a caged animal slowly go insane, he growls, he grunts, he desperately attempts to get out of his restraints and at one point you're worried he'll almost break them outright then he'll be set upon you

Which turns you on more than it should honestly, but until that actually happens you keep your focus on giving your unhinged lover more and more pleasure until he simply can't take it anymore.

He's not much for conversation during this, then again he wasn't exactly the biggest on pillow talk period but you make sure to praise and tease him all the while. It's not entirely clear if he hears everything you say between orgasms but there are certainly times where his body clearly reacts

And it reacts violently

You do finally let him finish inside, earning what can best be described as a primal yell from him that outright echoes off the walls

He passes out once he's reached his limit, you unrestrain him then work on caring for him, but about half way through cleaning him up his socket suddenly lights up and you're pinned down before you know it

You're in trouble <3

Underlust Sans :

You two always like to test limits, experiment, and generally see the best way to fuck each others brains out, this is definitely not the first time you've pulled this kind of stunt on him

And if there was ever one word to describe him, it was resilient

He has a lot of experience with this kind of thing and a lot of natural control over his body especially when it comes to sex so it's a definitely a case of go big or go home

He's not only tightly bound, but blindfolded with a vibrating cock ring on the highest setting with another toy being thrusting roughly in and out of his rectum, you deliberately controlling every movement of course

And he loves you taunt you about it, "this the best you can do baby? might just fall asleep over herrrrreeeee-!"

A particularly harsh thrust of the toy gets him to cum mid sentence tongue sticking out as she starts to drool rapidly

Rest assured you return his energy, asking if he's really got it altogether, teasing him by pointing out how violently his cock is throbbing is twitching and smugly asking if you're officially too much for him

It's fun banter, but it gets harder and harder for him to keep up especially as you get more aggressive in your approach in utterly dominating him.

And he won't lie it's hot as shit especially you seeming so eager to abuse him until he's basically your little fuck toy built for your entertainment, drooling like an animal and the perfect picture image of a needy little slut

Your little needy slut

By the time he uses the safe word and taps you, he immediately starts brain storming ideas for the next session you have together. Most definitely planning to return each moment you made him cum without mercy personally

[formosusiniquis]

The thing is that Leverage Consulting & Associates is, on paper, a legitimate company. Or it was a legitimate company at one point. It was founded by Harlan Leverage III, that’s how Hardison set it up and we know that he’s good at setting up the paperwork to make something look legit.

So with that in mind, I propose the following.

Parker is getting better at the people thing, the strange people thing. She’s good with the boys, they’re her boys. They get her and she gets them, usually. There isn’t the thing that Sophie is always talking about, conventions. Expectations that she has to know how to meet. It’s easier with a con, there’s a goal she just has to figure out the right things to say to reach the right end. It’s like a dialogue tree in one of Hardison’s games.

Meeting with clients is harder. Having to work out what they think they want and what they really want. It’s a mess of implications and vaguely stated desires. She doesn’t know why everyone can’t just say what they’re really thinning. She tries to have Hardison or Eliot there with her, to translate the innuendo that she knows she misses or correct her misinterpreting of a facial tic. But Eliot is running recon on the mark that they’re about to take and Hardison is working on one of his projects to help fix the world.

So it’s just her in the brew pub looking for Steve, a middle school teacher for the hard of hearing whose school is getting shut down. She finds him at the bar, the hair is, as Eliot would say, distinctive.

“Mr. Harrington,” he startles when she taps on his shoulder. Maybe Eliot is right and she’s not making enough noise when she walks.

“Yes, hello, hi.” Nervous, he’s nervous, that much she understands what to do with.

“Hello, I’m Parker, we-”

“Parker?” A question she thinks, it ticks up at the end like one. But he hasn’t actually asked anything.

“Leverage. You contacted us about your school.”

“Oh,” he brightens, maybe he thought she was confused or a stranger. “I didn’t know it was a family business.”

This was another thing she didn’t get, the weird connections people made. How the thing that she said turned into what he said. That confusion must be plain.

“I did some research, tried anyway, my sister-in-law is pretty handy with the computer stuff.”

They’ve run a lot of cons, sometimes pictures do pop up of them in the middle of a grift, Hardison’s crawlers are good but the internet is changing, apparently. It makes sense, in a way, that he might have seen a picture of her with the boys.

Eliot and Alec are her family. Nate and Sophie too.

“We are. A family business. Does that matter?”

He smiles, a real one, she knows what that means. “No! I think that’s fantastic. Family is important to me.”

“Great. Now, Mr. Harrington, what can you tell me about what is going on with your school.”

The con keeps them busy for several days, but at the end she’s excited to see Mr. Harrington again to tell him the good news. She likes this part, maybe more than the gloat. It’s like the opposite of money, the ephemeral way the joy and the gratitude on their faces can’t be hoarded.

“Thank you, Ms. Leverage, you can’t imagine how much this will mean to the students. It’s amazing that the business has stayed in the family since the 1900’s.”

It’s such a strange thing to say that she isn’t sure how to answer. So she defaults, “We’re just glad we could help.”

He leaves not much later, joining up with a man that she knows from the background check is his husband.

Alec and Eliot slip behind her once he’s gone. A quiet and subtle presence, until Alec can’t help but break the silence. “Parker Leverage. It has a nice ring.”

And it isn’t hard to admit, “It does, doesn’t it?”

[thatdeadaquarius]

Imagine a horribly clumsy creator in the sagau... like trips over their own feet, starts coughing due to choking on air randomly, knocking a vase off a table that was in the middle of the table somehow???? Silly goofy stuff like that (I pull these silly goofs often personally)

(obv goes w/o saying sorry for being so late to reply /gen) ;-;

clumsy reader is so me core idk why i didnt think of this lmao

(this gif is liek the modern equivalent of Charlotte posting ur embarrassing clumsy moments on insta Steambird acc lmao)

(so sometimes im lazy and dont include the ask stuff esp if its shorter like this, so here's at least the characters in this one: Fontaine ppl <3 along with a G for general audience, barring cuss words)

Navia would politely ask you to go the edge or whatever area ur in whenever she pulls out her cannons/guns LMAO

every time you and either Clorinde or Neuvillette are walking next to you, or doing rlly anything, its like night and day

ur out here finding all the cracks in the sidewalk, bumping everything that could even possibly have a liquid in it, and have constant bruises from hip checking/stubbing toes on mechas walking around

Clorinde is impressed at that point bc mechas are actively programmed to get out of your way, so how u managed to put them back into ur way rlly fascinates her 😭😭

Neuvillette would like to wrap u in fabric/bubble wrap equivalent for his old ass, in an attempt to desperately stop u from hurting urself lol

u get a new coat or new pants from him all the time, u just thought at first he was rlly into giving u Fontaine fashion until Furina pointed out that it was spring/summer and you wouldn't wear thick woolen pants and fur-lined coats everyday 💀

(poor dragon guy doesn't rlly get the practical side of clothes, he likes fashion, but he inadvertently subscribes to the "hoes don't get cold" philosophy by being an ancient dragon lord)

Wriothesley is unfortunately nice enough to constantly try and catch his poor god, which ends well for neither of you 50% of the time

its not even ur weight takes him down, he's buff as hell after all, and he's dealt with rowdy inmates, its just.. ur clumsiness spreads.

if ur tripping, and the poor Duke reaches out to catch you, ur reaching out at the same time to steady urself on a side table w/a vase full of water, which u then knock off, drenching ur back and his face at the same time LMAO

he doesn't learn, despite u literally begging him to stop trying to help u, then u try and compromise to just let u fall and help u afterward asdfghkl-

Wrio's too chivalrous tho, the most u can get him to do is always grab ur arm instead of trying to bodily catch you

if u think after the first like, ✌️ TWO times Lynette is willing to help you, u r so wrong lmao

she's seen her brothers clumsiness, she knows theres no saving u

she does comfort u after slipping (not even falling but just flailing dramatically) for the 5th time in the puddles around water fountains tho

Lyney and Freminet are lowkey legit convinced someones cursed their god atp 😰

Freminet always had bandaids for u, and Lyney keeps a supply of ur fav candy to cheer u up after embarrassing urself by falling ass backwards right into the Fountain of Lucine right in front of Opera house lmao

...

...Charlotte thinks this is all vv hilarious, no she has no respect for ur godliness, her archon was Furina like LMAO- IM SORRYYY

(she has started a small section in the steambird of a near daily- DAILY picture of u being clumsy 😭)

(u, not srsly, threaten to smite her and she just giggles)

(its ok they take it all in a cute/endearing trait type of way)

☆

again, sorry for lateness, when i reopen askbox (soon, FINALLY-)

ill try and stay more on top of it and try and sort whatre just chats/non-requests better too 😭😭

hope u guys are having a good week!! tysm for being patient and nice to me :')

Safe Travels Kai,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

<3

[respectthepetty]

I LOVE THESE LAPIS LADS SO DAMN MUCH!!!!!!

Faifa is ready to die before he makes someone else uncomfortable, so thank goodness Wine is always around to remind Faifa that he will actually die if he continues to try to make everyone happy.

And then Wine gave Faifa the thing he wanted in the first place but was willing to sacrifice because Faifa is always thinking of others and now it's time someone thought about him!

I also appreciate that his Black Brooder brother, with his Green Guy boyfriend in tow, immediately went after him once he found out he spent all night out with his mentee.

So now Gun's even asking what they possibly talked about for hours all night long while Yellow Yal Arm is trying to play bad cop and get to the bottom of this.

But he is too cute for that negativity.

He is a lover, not a fighter, and he knows the best Blue Boy in all the lands would never hurt anyone, especially Wine, which is why Arm tasks Faifa with bringing our dark Blue Boy out of his shell.

So Faifa decides to do it in the kindest gayest way possible by simply being nice to the guy. Pete got Vegas that way, so it obviously works with even the toughest cases.

Maybe that's why Arm keeps wearing blue; he wants to be a Blue Boy since they are just so great, but I can't really think too much on that because Red Rascal Arc is . . . well, existing, shirtless.

And this is the proper reaction to witnessing that man, exist, shirtless. Both. Both are the proper reaction.

But crying in a Texas Roadhouse is not the proper reaction to eating with friends, mostly when your buddies are filming content. However, this feels true to a dark Blue Boy.

Because it's what dark Blue Boys do. Just being depressing. Crying in showers. Crying in the Garden of Olives. Crying in his sleep. Crying in the club. Crying. All the time.

So I actually think it was smart that light Blue Boy Faifa ran to his dad to ask about how to heal a broken heart since his dad is also a dark Blue Boy who was so depressed after their mom left him that he vowed to never love again, yet he seems fine now, right?!

And Faifa does not need the judgement of his brother and brother-in-law in this situation! But I love that Faifa was like, "break up with each other then I can ask for your advice" and it looked like Yotha was legit going to punch him for even putting that curse into the air.

Because Faifa is the BEST Blue Boy, yet he thinks he is not capable of loving someone else, when he, in fact, will be the BEST at loving Wine (and I think he is going to be heartbroken about it, but I'm not there yet), so I need his brother to support him in this effort!

Faifa is so good at loving Wine that he runs to the bar even after he said he wasn't going simply because Wine asked him to, and as much as I want to be upset that Arc and Arm keep playing color games with me, I noticed Arc has a teeny tiny bit of red on him.

And the back of Arm's shirt is yellow, so I am not mad at them! Also, this entire section of the episode was hilarious since Arc was big mad his man was telling Wine love was dumb, and at the same time Yotha, who is drunk just like everyone else, connected the dots that his brother was trying to help out Wine. I loved it!

But these two color-coded toxicitos entered the scene just in time to give Wine a gay crisis in the middle of the drunk scene of a BL.

Faifa grabbed that boy and shuffled him off to the bathroom so quickly because Klao and Arc both were looking at that kid like he was going to say some homophobic shit, BUT BABY IS GAY! This was excellent! I'm living my best life!

And we immediately get treated with Faifa rubbing Wine's back and trying to soothe him. I LOVE FAIFA!

But not as much as I love Wine at this exact moment pinning Faifa to the wall with his hands around Faifa's neck as he has a whole breakdown about being gay and fearing everyone will hate him.

WHICH PROMPTS HIM TO KISS FAIFA!!!! AND FAIFA KISSES HIM BACK!!!!!

Faifa, you're in trouble, bro. You're already lost in the deep blue boy sea. You don't know what heartache is about to hit you because you only know that Wine broke up with his girlfriend because he likes guys. But you don't know he broke up with her because he liked her brother, and we have no idea what that brother spoke to his parents about since Wine ran away before Toey could say, and . . .

These bars are giving me bad vibes, so you are about to have some competition that you don't even see coming (out) because her brother probably came out to his parents and Wine is going to be a mess about it.

Yeah, hold your little Vino Baby while you can, sir. Cuddle him before the narrative screws all of us over.

Because this man is so unpredictable that he logged into his ex's YouTube account just to mess up her algorithm so he could get his camera back. He is a genius, but also, petty. That's a dangerous combination, Faifa.

Look at Faifa. Look at him. Look at my Best Blue Boy in all the universe. Look at how chill he was seconds before Wine called him and he dropped everything to run to him and comfort him. LOOK AT WHAT A KING LOOKS LIKE!

I LOVE FAIFA! I LOVE THEM! I LOVE THIS!

Faifa has the perfect words to make Wine feel safe, and the way he looks at Wine is unbelievably soft, but we all know what this means when we still have six episodes left in their story, right?

We're fucked.

Because now the show has plenty of time to show us that even though Faifa said that Wine makes his heart flutter, Wine will struggle with it since Faifa treats everyone special, and for Tor to make his appearance since it's seemed very important that Tor spoke to his parents.

But I could be completely wrong, and we are just going to ride this wave of happiness until the very end.

Or drown trying.

[zeroseuniverse]

how zb1 acts when their crush is a natural flirt without even noticing (for example small things like glancing at their lips, or winking in passing ect)

Zb1 W/ Naturally flirty S/O

Taglist:@zaycie @sh0dor1 @tinyelfperson @lezleeferguson-120 @llunaticc13 @1daily2lele7 @etaernaluvv @hanninova

Jiwoong

Internally combusts. On the outside? Calm. Cool. Composed. But inside? Sirens. Red alerts. You glance at his lips while he's talking and murmur something like, "You’re cute when you concentrate," and his brain just malfunctions. He leans back slowly, squinting at you. “…You’re doing that on purpose, right?” You blink innocently. “Doing what?” That’s when he knows he’s done for. His ears go pink and he hides behind his hand with a breathy laugh. “You’re dangerous.”

Zhang Hao

He's so easily flustered by you. He'll be mid-sentence when you wink and he’ll physically glitch. “M-mmh… sorry, what was I saying?” When you say things like, “You’d look cute with a lip ring,” while glancing down at his mouth, he needs a moment. He’ll politely excuse himself with a soft “be right back,” then go scream into a pillow. He eventually starts suspecting you’re doing it on purpose—until you say something flirty and then walk away like nothing happened. That’s when it hits him. You don’t even know. Now he’s fighting for his life in silence. Constantly.

Hanbin

Blushes so fast it should be a world record. You ruffle his hair and call him “handsome,” all casual, and this man short-circuits. You could wink in passing and he’d need to sit down. He thinks you’re the biggest tease… until he realizes you’re not trying. That makes it worse. Like—how is he supposed to keep his composure when you’re effortlessly wrecking him?? He starts getting so soft around you. Tries to subtly flirt back, but ends up tripping over his words half the time. "You're… um. You’re good at existing. I mean. You look nice. Existing."

Matthew

At first he tries to out-flirt you. He thinks you are flirting and he’s like, “Bet. Two can play this game.” You wink at him → he throws in a flirty smirk You call him “baby” jokingly → he says “only for you” …but then he notices you doing the same thing to other people. And you’re not even trying. His whole brain: “wait… they’re just like that??” Now he’s not flirting anymore—he’s pining. He’ll just stand there like 🧍 trying to pretend he’s not affected while his heart’s doing parkour. “Yeah I’m fine,” he says, clearly NOT fine.

Taerae

So dramatic about it. You tilt your head slightly and give him a tiny smile and he’s like "…are you trying to kill me??" Legit gasps when you wink. Clutches his chest like a K-drama lead. He’ll ask you straight up one day, “Do you know what you do to people when you talk like that?” You’re confused. “Like what?” Now he’s spiraling. “Never mind. Just… just don’t do that when I’m holding something. I might drop it.” The boy is so whipped. Will never recover. Not even trying to hide it.

Ricky

You already live in his head rent-free, so every time you do something effortlessly flirty, he’s just… blinking in stunned silence. You lick your lips while thinking → he stares You call him “pretty boy” in passing → he replays it like a religious experience Unlike the others, though—he starts getting possessive. Not in a toxic way, just a quiet “I want them to look at me like that only.” He doesn’t say anything. Just starts moving a little closer. Giving you heart eyes back. And one day he catches you looking at his lips again and whispers, “Do you want me to kiss you, or do you just like staring?”

Gyuvin

Loud externally, melting internally. You touch his arm casually or lean in to whisper something near his ear and he screeches. “AHHHHH—DON’T DO THAT I’M DELICATE.” Then immediately follows it with, “Wait… do it again.” He thinks you’re being playful on purpose until he hears you say something equally flirty to a barista or friend and goes 🧍‍♂️ “Okay so… they just… exist like that???” From then on, he becomes hyper-aware of everything you do. Constantly looking like a lovesick puppy who doesn’t know where to put his hands.

Gunwook

Is so good at pretending he’s unaffected. But you glance at his lips while he talks, or say “You look cute when you're mad,” and he just… swallows hard. "Thanks," he says with a totally neutral face—but his ears are bright red. He’s usually so confident, but you throw him off his game. He’ll go home and just stare at the ceiling like “What is wrong with me.” Eventually, he builds up the courage to ask: “Do you flirt with everyone like that?” When you answer, “Like what?” with total sincerity, he dies on the spot. RIP Gunwook 2005–now.

Yujin

Doesn’t even try to hide how flustered he gets. You pat his cheek or wink as a joke and he instantly becomes quiet, eyes wide. You’ll ask if he’s okay and he just nods quickly, refusing to look you in the eye. Eventually he blurts out, “I think you’re flirting with me.” You blink. “Oh—was I?” He stands there blinking too. “…Were you not??” Poor boy is so confused. Doesn’t know if he’s delusional or in love. Or both.

[love-belle]

about damn time !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he finds out that his pregnant fiancée can really hold a grudge.

or

for when you love them too much to stay mad at them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

real life // carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader

warnings - language, pregnancy talks.

author's note - had too much fun writing this, hope u like it as well!! thank u so much for reading, i love you <3 requests are open!!!

≡;- ꒰ °real life ꒱

"charles?"

"yeah?"

"can you tell your friend to stop poking me with that damn stick?"

"carlos," charles sighed, rubbing his face tiredly as he sat between his two best friends.

"yeah?"

"stop poking y/n with that damn stick."

"tell her to tell me that herself."

"y/n?"

"yeah?"

"tell him to stop poking you with that damn stick yourself."

"tell him to stop poking with that damn stick before i break it and shove the pieces high up his ass."

"carlos?"

"yeah?"

"your fiancée is really fucking scary."

"i know."

"why are you guys even fighting?" charles asked, looking from y/n, who was very pointedly ignoring carlos who was watching with a nervous smile on his face, trying his best to get her attention for the past hour. he wasn't very successful and resorted to more inconvenient methods, which included poking his pregnant fiancée with a small wooden stick that he had found in god-knows-which cursed corner of their house.

"ask your friend that because apparently i'm too stupid," y/n snapped, standing up and leaving the room without even sparing carlos a glance.

"shit, what'd you do?" charles asked as he watched her retreating form. "the only time i have ever seen her pissed was when max ate her last cookie. i have never seen a man so terrified."

"why is it you always assume i did something?" carlos whined, burying his face into a cushion.

"because it is always you, that does something," charles retorted, moving to lay back against the couch.

"fair but doesn't mean it's nice," carlos narrowed his eyes at his teammate. "and it was a stupid thing i said this morning. word of advice, it's always better to stay silent when you have a pregnant fiancée with anger issues."

"holy shit," charles laughed in disbelief, not really understanding what stupid thing could his friend have said to make y/n this mad. "what did you say?"

"well, since we found out that we were gonna have a baby, she's been so invested in knowing what's the size of the baby like it's the size of a grain of rice, two grains of rice, end to end, a — "

"what's the size of your crotch goblin right now?"

"first, it's about the size of a blueberry right now and second, don't ever refer to my child as a crotch goblin."

"pet sperm?"

"what is wrong with you?"

charles shrugged, motioning him to continue with his account of what had happened in the morning.

"uh — and she also tells me that the baby grew a heart today, or that the heart is 's' shaped right now and soon it'll have limbs and all, yeah?"

"uh huh," charles hummed, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what ever could carlos have had said about this for them to be like this.

"and today, apparently the baby developed a brain or something and y/n came in all excited and she was like 'mi amor, i grew a brain today' referring to our child and i said that..."

"that..?" charles raised his eyebrows, sitting up straight as he watched carlos inhale deeply before he finished his sentence.

"i said that it was about damn time," carlos whispered, as if afraid that y/n would hear him once again.

"oh."

"oh."

"you said that?"

"i said that."

"to a pregnant woman?"

"if the doctor's appointments are legit, then yes, to a pregnant woman."

"who happens to be your fiancée?"

"i'm not sure anymore, to be honest."

"do you have a death wish?!" charles exclaimed, looking at carlos with wide eyes.

he knew how well y/n could hold a grudge and her anger was something you would never want to be on the receiving end of. and a pregnant y/n was a force to be reckoned with. the mood swings were already heavy on not just carlos, but their entire friend group, no one wanting to get yelled at by a woman who wore fluffy socks and sang taylor swift during long drives.

"i knew i fucked up as soon as i said it," carlos groaned, running his hand through his hair. "i thought she was gonna get mad."

"she didn't?" charles asked, surprised at the revelation. he knew if he had said that to her, he would on the next flight, any flight, out of the country.

"no," carlos grimaced, as if reliving that moment. "i thought she would, to be honest, her mood swings are wild this week but she didn't. she just stared at me for a minute before walking away."

"woah," charles nodded, not knowing what to say. "that feels worse."

"yes, especially because i think i made her cry," carlos admitted with a frown, fiddling with his fingers. "i hate it when she cries because she hates it when she cries. something about her feeling overdramatic for crying at every single overwhelming thing, even though i tell her that it's okay. it's just those hormones. she hates crying and this pregnancy is really challenging that and i think i made her cry this morning. she was just excited to tell me about our baby and i unintentionally and indirectly called her stupid."

"you're stupid," charles immediately said, looking at carlos with an incredulous look on his face. "i feel bad for her. i mean, i know that she's mean sometimes and she yells at us when we're being stupid but her crying feels, i don't know, wrong."

"yeah," carlos sighed, standing up and nodded towards the direction of the master bedroom. "i better go and try to talk to her. you'll be okay in the guest room, no?"

"yes, i will be, thank you," charles smiled at his friends before making his way towards the guest bedroom, leaving carlos in the living room.

the man sighed, switching off the tv that played a random movie before he turned off the lights, making his way towards their bedroom.

he paused in the front of the door, his hand lingering on the handle before he pushed it open carefully, thinking that she was already asleep. his eyes took a few seconds to adjust in the dark as he moved blindly towards the bed, reaching for any furniture in his vicinity. he tried his best not to make any noise as he moved as y/n was asleep not even three feet away from him and he would not have her any more mad at him.

he finally found himself by the edge of bed and quickly got in after discarding his t-shirt and pulled the covers over him. he didn't dare move, in fear of waking her up. he knew that it was sometimes difficult for her to fall asleep, always one thing not being right, sometimes it would be the pillow and the other times it would be the texture of the bedsheets against her skin. he had found her in the living room all by herself at three in the morning too many times to count. so, whenever she finally fell asleep, he would do his best not to wake her up.

he sighed, feeling weird, not having her right against him as they both slept. instead she was there, all over her own side of the bed, a good few inches between them.

carlos couldn't take it anymore, he'd gotten used to having her lay next to him, her arms around him while his rested on her stomach, tracing random patterns. with a swift movement, he reached across the bed and pulled her towards him, whispering a soft 'sorry'.

y/n exhaled deeply, her hands unconsciously going around carlos as she shifted to get more comfortable against him.

"this doesn't mean i forgot what you said this morning," y/n's voice spoke, barely above a whisper but carlos heard it loud and clear.

"i'm sorry, hermosa," carlos kissed her forehead, moving to place kisses down her face, sighing softly. "forgive me?"

"you know, i already do," y/n whispered, holding his hand that rested on her stomach. "i'm sorry, i was being overdramatic earlier."

"no, no, no," carlos rushed to correct her, holding his face in her hands as he shook his head. "you were not being overdramatic. you just wanted to share something about our baby with me and i said something stupid and made you cry. i'm sorry."

"technically, these stupid pregnancy hormones made me cry," y/n answered, a slight giggle escaping her making carlos chuckle.

"i love you," carlos sighed, pulling me her impossibly closer to him. "so fucking much."

"i love you so much more," y/n turned head and pulled herself up so she could plant a kiss on his lips, smiling slightly when he pulled her back into another one. "you're the best."

"i think you confused yourself with me, sweetheart."

"of course i did," y/n laid her head back on the pillow, her hands fiddling with carlos' fingers. she couldn't help but feel her heart swell up with love for her fiancé and for her baby, who would be soon joining them.

she stayed there, for god knows how long, thinking of her perfect family before she turned her head towards carlos, not really seeing his face in the dark. with the way he was breathing evenly, the fact that he had not spoken in minutes and the hand that had been tracing shapes on the exposed skin of her stomach laid limp, she reckoned he fell asleep. and even though he was asleep and couldn't hear her, she couldn't help but say it one last time.

"i love you, so fucking much."