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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror ā but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out ā I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity ā and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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I want to post this here too because Iāve seen it happen a few times

Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
#bearz rambling tag#no itās not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change#because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites#I didnāt know that pairing are called āshipā here#like why would I even know that#āshipā makes zero sense to me#it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here#itās hard#give people time#shipping culture is very different too#Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name#it is very very important to them#people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end#imagine how confused I was when I first got here#where thereās no top bottom differences#itās not really a smut thing#itās more a dynamic thing#AxB and BxA is very different#oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures#if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask#itās very interesting to me#I wanna talk about it
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store š
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying āLET me kill the jokerā to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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But my love will be fierce
And your love will be missed
#you know the hyperfixation goes crazy when I did this in one sitting#procreate tells me it took 5 and a half hours so thats concerning#but i am easy persuaded by tragic sapphics#ella ashmore#justine grizzwald#justella#is my preference for shipname bc by the end of that show it is just ella#cinderellaās castle#starkid#starcanwrecked#cc spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#cinderellaās castle spoilers#3 tags to be safe
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Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.
Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs
#FUN FACT : charlie isnt my real name :]#i decided to go with the name charlie because i didnt wanna use my real name and i like the name charlie#my parents were gonna call me charlie when i was born but didnt in the end#i dont really know why i dont just tell you lot my real name because its a super common name#another thing that using a diff name online has caused is me seeing ācharlieā almost as a different person#theres ā[wearegonnapretendiputmyrealnamehere]ā and then theres āCharlieā and they are two different people in my mind#idk aksjffhkajsshdka#anyways this is the second poll ive made today what is my deal with polls#i should make a seperate poll tag for all my fucking polls that i make#I MAKE A LOT#ill tag all my polls when i think of a good name lol#anyways woah i got a bit rambly there#did i make a whole ass poll just because i thought you might find it interesting that my real name wasnt charlie?#yes. yes i did.#(DO NOT take this as me not wanting you lot to call me charlie i would prefer you use that name over anything else lol)#polls#tumblr polls#random polls
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This was made because I read a fic "Proximity" by rosesofenvy and now i'm yearning.
#plsss the creator of the fic dm because for some reason the link for tumblr on ao3 doesn't work and i can't tag you :(#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#jarthur#my art#you know its funny cause i dont like fully ship them like i prefer them queerplatonic but everytime i draw them it turns love dovey#this is based of of a painting if that wasnt clear#John looks amazing here but i can never get Arthur quite right when i do these#im very proud of the shirts tho and like the render in general
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Frinos & Melinoƫ : Hades II - 3/?
#Hadesedit#hades edit#Frinos#Frinos Hades#Hades 2#Melinoƫ#Melinoe#Melinoe Hades#Hades 2 Spoilers#Hades II#Hades Game#Hades#buns.hades#buns.edits#buns.all#I don't actually know the tags and I ain't not going in there because of spoilers!!! So I just winged it~~#I couldn't use my prefered dithering because of siiiizeeee tumblr must you restrict me so!!!#gameplaydaily#indiegamesource#dailyvideogames#gamingnetwork#gamingedit
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Clementine returns. (PHIGHTING!)





deciding to accumulate all of these into a singular post to make my life easier + so that I can have some more food for you all,,, anyways.
My. My son. Clementine my baby my sweet boy,,, Some of these ARE actually reposts but the first 2 are for sure not :3! (I think at least LMAO), enjoy this :3! I must go back to my hole /silly
(Also a bonus as well )

#Yeah I thought it would be best to just#Shove all of these together LMAO#anyways! Hereās my son Clementine :3#Heās my beloved biograft oc and my favorite thing to do with him ever is draw him over cat memes#I know Iāve said it in the past but heās not actually a biocat#I just draw him as one a lot LMAO#I do wanna like. Put a small thing though since Iāve noticed a bit of a rise in it and itās that like#Just to nite#this IS my oc#he is an owned character with lore and stuff#Like. If you use these for anything please please PLEASE make sure to credit me#I wonāt be upset if you donāt but itās just very much preferred obviously since heās MY character and Iām very nervous about him#Getting stolen and stuff#Not mad or anything and itās not targeted at anyone what so ever but I just think that it should be stated!#Anyways TAG TIME YAAAAY#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting art#roblox#roblox phighting#phighting fanart#for the memes#funny memes#meme#tumblr memes#humor
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PDA-aversive Saizo my beloved.
#fe fates#felicia#saizo#i really and truly dont know why im fixated on them again! im sorry! i just got slamdunked!#with emotions for these weirdos !!! who are really cute together imo!#felicia able to be like oh we should ... do what couples do....#and then saizo immediately turning bright red because NOPE PASS THANKS BUT NO#i dont actually have a fuuuulllll canon confirmation that hes touch aversive completely#so i kinda go with him being touch aversive if its nice/pda#like i do actually recall he has a support with someone and in his b support he has a blushing face and is trying to run#because shes trying to undress him which honestly! if someone did that to me! ID ALSO BE RUNNING IF POSSIBLE#but then another support i just checked had the person asking saizo to stop squirming when shes trying to help him#and so i think im being quite fair with him as far as the headcanons go#i never got to see his revelation supports so im also just missing a LOT of info on him from that#but oh well thats fine i love him and his weird attempts at being caring while denying that he cares#looking at you supports with his son where he straight up uses the name his son prefers instead of saizo which is the birthname#and yes it does come up but he seems to respect it as a choice and i appreciate it a lot#looking at you paralogue dialogue where you chew another dad out for not wanting to go check on his daughter#because there are literal monsters around the baby realm and thats BAD GO CHECK ON YOUR CHILD#also felicias supports with her lil pouty face are fun and i love that she can flip flop from happy to cold#she deserves that ! as a wonderful blessing cause i just really like her a lot#and thats been another essay in the tags why do people read these im sorry im like this
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potentially hot take but this is a pet peeve of mine
#listen. anyone can write whatever they want and idc I donāt have to engage with it. all power to them!!!!#itās not even an automatic click-off for me or anything#i just⦠why. I donāt get it#like⦠thatās literally one of THE most iconic traits of the entire character. of the entire concept of the SHOW even#and youāre just gonna??? get rid of it??? hello????? the entire basis that John and Arthurās relationship is made from????????#really????????? possibly the most tender part of their relationship???????#you donāt wanna write fluff about John reading him books and describing things and guiding him????? really?????????#itās just so boring to me. I donāt understand the appeal#like yeah obviously Arthur as himself would definitely prefer to get his sight back#but as a concept likeā¦.#something ab the whole āhappy ending = the disabled character gets āfixedāā thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth#why do u have to fix them. why cant they just be disabled. do you think people canāt be happy and be disabled???#idk maybe itās not that deep. and still I donāt really care that much#itās just the vibes. I donāt vibe with it.#and Iām sure thereās some actual annoying as hell discourse in the fandom ab it which I have zero interest in engaging in#but I had to have my little petty bitch moment#bc blind Arthur is everything to me. ESPECIALLY in a jarthur context.#anyways thank u for coming to my Ted talk#malevolent#arthur lester#if anyone wants me to tag this as smth Iemme know
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"Outlines" [34]

<< Prev [33]___[35] Next >> [jump to the beginning]
Music: Ch.2 PlaylistĀ (YT)
Tip jar on Patreon :)
A/N: I'm going to start slapping big ugly watermarks on the pages soon. Do not repost, do not translate without permission. And careful, there's a rant in tags.
#artists on tumblr#ichigo kurosaki#ichigo#aizen sousuke#aizen#aiichi āoutlinesā#aiichi#bleach#bleach fanart#bleach art#fanart#fan comic#comic#anime#digital art#art#sketch#my art#ANGST#and to the r*ssians who think that preferring not to interact with anything r*ssian is somehow unfair#your country is trying to drown my country in blood since 2014#just leave us alone#one r*ssian dude blocked me on ao3 when i expressed that opinion#bookmarked the comic lmao#didn't even know you could block people on ao3#ranting in tags#nobody reads those#anyways#enjoy the page <3#i'm late i know - sorryyyy
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Buceta Bugalatti's no good very bad cooking.
#art.jpeg#jjba#bruno buccellati#bruno bucciarati#<- i honestly prefer the og spelling rather than this one. because he sounds intenselly more italian.#jjba vento auero#golden wind#jojo's bizarre adventure#¿”!?sorry its been 5 years in this site i still dont know how 2 tag my shit#i think this fanbase has been rotted after all those ''mama bruno'' headcanons that miss his entire point.#because this man has no time to learn how to cook. the others could but this guy would get home close the door...#...and fall face first onto the floor for 4 hours. at his entrance. the he wakes up and goes out to work again.#buccellati i am afraid that due to not changeing your lifestyle you wouldve pass away regardless of Chest Cavity..
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youtube
Guess what I just finished ehehehe >:D
Oh yeah- the 'I see your wife' was a bit hard to do so I just replaced it with the next best 'murderer plus innocence' parallel I could think of-
(and the tags I got to cover the last few bits got cut off, so I have decided to include the last minute of dramatic commentary here instead-
:(:( Alas alack~ poor Finrod-
Oh look it's Gondolin! And Maeglin too, fancy that. Wonder why he's there, anyway, moving on-
Fingon gets some more screentime, -and no. I am not naming the Balrogs involved. They don't deserve it >:(
And after that it's pretty self explanatory.
I mean.
If you know who Feanor and his sons are you probably get what's going on here. :'(
>:)
#the silmarillion#silmarillion#silm art#now in order of appearance we have:#Namo#or Mandos#whichever you prefer#Feanor#the trees#some boots cause why not#the shores of valinor#yeye#Nerdanel#(and feanor but i already mentioned him)#Aqualonde#that cheerful cheerful spot-#ships burning oh dearie me-#then fingon feeling all betrayed#i was gonna do fingolfin but fingon is easier to make recognisable yknow?#morgoth#and-#Fingolfin#fighting morgoth. as you do#then- *takes deep breath-#Maedhros and Maglor#Celegorm Caranthir Curufin Amrod and Amras. (they aren't there for long enough to get their own separate tags. :D)#Then we got Doriath being splattered with- *ahem. Doriath. That peaceful peaceful kingdom...#and some dead feanorians. I am not writing all their names again. You know who dies at Doriath right?#Elrond and Elros#beren and luthien
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Marty McFly + 5 songs that I associate with him:
"I Can Survive" by Triumph "Never Give Up" by Sammy Hagar "Finally Found A Home" by Huey Lewis & The News "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams "I Wanna Go Back" by Eddie Money
#back to the future#bttf#marty mcfly#now. time for some proper tag ramblings#first of all hi everyone#I know I haven't posted anything substantial in a long while#and I just want to say that I'm still here#my life and my free time and time spent doing something creative have just been so weird lately#but I am not dead#second of all#why am I so weirdly picky about making character playlists?#I started off with twenty options and nit-picked them all to death#so instead of a playlist I give you a very small and elaborate list of song suggestions#third of all#I can't shake the feeling I've used this layout before#I already checked my old posts and there's nothing in common except for color palettes#I think I had an old draft from long ago that resembles this one but never actually got posted#fourth of all#my folder entitled ''Marty - faceless'' has patiently been waiting months for this moment#and finally#I know that āI Wanna Go Backā was originally performed by Billy Satellite#but I prefer Eddie Money's version for this#mine
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thoughts about public woohoo with boothill? i feel like he'd be into it sometimes
public woohoo ššš ur so funny omg
i think he matches your vibes on it? in the sense that when you're into it, he's SUPER into it, but when you're not, he's perfectly happy without it. he definitely doesn't shy away from risk, and he especially loves taking risks when you're involved.
i kinda think he's of two minds about it. on one hand, he absolutely has a possessive streak, so making everyone know you're "his" is super appealing to him. (on that note, pull out the ol' "i'm yours" on him, and he'll go crazy. like, hands and teeth and everything all over you kinda crazy.)
on the other hand, he's... well, pretty greedy about you. there's a line in DHCS that acknowledges this pretty directly...
He's nearly overwhelmed by the suffocating urge to kiss you; to bite marks into your delicate little throat; to bend you over this counter and have his way with you, onlookers be damned.
(Hm. Maybe not that last one ā heās far too greedy, far too possessive, to expose you to a room full of strangers. Heād much rather keep you all to himself; his to covet, his to adore, his to break.)
in regards to a scenario? well...
(read on ao3 if you'd prefer)

Boothill has decided that he absolutely hates this new contact.
First of all, she's cagey as fuck, and she constantly dances around the point. Secondly, she only ever communicates in the most obtuse code he's ever seen. Thirdly, she absolutely insists that, for his next lead, he has to find her at a masquerade to receive the information in person.
She's lucky that her intel is so damn valuable, or he'd have wrung her neck a hundred times over by now - and unloaded his revolver into her a few times for good measure.
He rants and raves to you for quite some time, venting his frustration as he swears up and down that he's never turning to her again once this whole affair is done. By the time he runs out of steam, he's slumped against your shoulder with his arms wrapped around you, utterly drained. You pet his hair soothingly, letting him cool off before quietly asking, "Is there anything I can do to help, honeybee?"
He's quiet for a long moment, before finally lifting his head to look at you, a peculiar look in his eye. "Well..." he's begins hesitantly, "would ya put me in an early grave if I asked ya to come with me, sweetpea?"
You laugh, shaking your head in open amusement. "I suppose I can spare you, just this once." You press a quick kiss to his forehead, your smile turning a bit mischievous. "Get me a dress and treat me to ice cream after, and I'll do whatever the hell you want."
The very next day, he brings you to a shop - pleasantly small with an obscenely well-crafted selection. You balk when you walk inside, immediately stunned by the space, because this isn't just for rich people, this is for rich people. The moment you turn to him to argue that this is way too nice, you find that he's already grinning and shaking his head.
"I don't give a hoot what ya say," he drawls, openly delighted. "What the fork else am I gonna burn all this IPC cash on, huh? Let me treat ya, sunshine."
And so, you end up getting the most extravagant article of clothing you've ever touched in your life, guided by an incredibly sweet attendant that doesn't even blink at your cluelessness. Boothill lingers in the dressing room, whistling obnoxiously every time you step out in a new dress; he practically faints (whether or not it's a joke is up for debate) when you walk out in a comfortably tight underbust corset, his eyes trailing lasciviously from the curve of your waist to the swell of your chest. (He thanks every higher power he can think of that his cock is kept in an internal compartment, because lord fucking knows he'd be so horny that he'd risk busting his jeans open.)
Once you settle on a dress and have it sent off to be tailored to your size, you keep him company while another attendant takes all of his measurements for a suit, fitting him into one to test how well the jacket hugs his waist. He grouches about how this doesn't fit his style at all, but shuts right up when he sees the look on your face. (Maybe wearing a suit won't be so bad if you keep staring at him like you want to eat him alive.)
In the following days, the date of the masquerade looms over you - and all the while, Boothill eyes you with a look you can't quite decipher.
Finally, it all comes to a head the day after you pick up your newly tailored outfits.
His eyes are dark when he holds up a remote-controlled vibrator - one that syncs to his neurochip, which lets him control it with a simple thought; there's an app as well, which would let you shut it off on your own if you ever got too overwhelmed. He tilts his head in question, and the gesture might've seemed innocent if not for the untamable hunger in his eyes.
If you decline, that's the end of it, and the entire masquerade passes without too much incident. Once business is done, you dance and chat, berating the event's selection of alcohol and quietly mocking the outfit choices of every aristocrat you see. If you accept, however...
The night of the masquerade arrives on your doorstep, heralded by the anticipation bubbling in your gut. The atmosphere is so taut that you both get ready in silence, but his hungry eyes tell you everything you need to know. He helps you into your dress, does your hair for you (he's shockingly good at it), and, if you'd like, paints your nails with his unfathomably steady hands. You help him with his tie, braid his hair neatly, and straighten out the relatively simple black, silver, and red mask on his face. And all the while, he stares at you like a wolf sizing up its prey - watching, prowling, waiting for the time to strike.
Finally, the time to leave arrives. You stare at each other for a long, tense moment before he finally rasps, "Back against the wall, doll. Spread your legs and lift your skirt for me, won't ya?"
Oh, you're already done for, and the night has only just begun.
He gets down on his knees in front of you, easing down your underwear with cold fingers. He's ready to prep you, but to his delight, you're already getting wet. He looks up at you with piercing eyes, grinning wickedly. "Filthy girl," he scolds without heat. "I haven't even touched ya, n' you're already soakin' your panties?"
You whimper when he grazes your folds with his fingers, openly admiring the way your slit trembles. "Can you blame me? You've been looking at me like you were gonna fuck me before we even left."
He laughs, dark and gritty. "Oh, you're barkin' up the wrong tree, cutie." Then, he lifts the toy, pressing it right against your entrance. "I'm gonna make you work for it first."
Without further preamble, he slowly, agonizingly eases it inside, and when it's fully seated, you have one end nestled right against your g-spot, and the other pressed tauntingly against your clit. For a moment, you think that's going to be the end of it for now - but then he eases it out ever-so-slightly, giving him just enough room to lap hungrily at your clit. You gasp and shake on your feet, clenching one hand in his hair so tight that he growls into your cunt. You throw your head back against the wall and moan all pretty for him, helpless as he circles your bud with his tongue.
He holds you there, just like that, subtly thrusting the toy against your g-spot, winding you tighter and tighter, and just when your breath hitches, just when your thighs start to tremble, just when you're about to tip over the edge-
He pulls away, sending you crashing back down to earth.
You whine in anguish as he settles the toy back inside you, sliding your panties back on like he'd never been there at all. He kisses your thigh tenderly in what might've seemed like sympathy if not for the devilish glint in his eye.
"Sorry, honey," he hums, not sorry at all, standing back up and licking your come from his lips. "Gonna have to wait."
(Oh, if only you knew.)
The ride over to the event is quiet and tense, but rather peaceful - until he starts testing out the vibrator, that is. He holds you in his lap and wraps his unrelenting arms around you, which might've looked sweet to the chauffeur, but you know better. You keep your jaw clenched tightly, trying to get yourself into the practice of stifling all of your noises and reactions - but he seems to take that as a challenge, because he hikes the intensity higher and higher until you're trembling like a leaf against him, your fingers wound in his suit jacket. And just when it nearly overwhelms you, just when you think you might reach your peak, he lowers it back down to a subtle hum.
And then you arrive to the masquerade, and the true depth of what you've signed yourself up for hits you full force.
He lingers with you for a time, keeping the vibrator rather low, even turning it off on occasion. He grants you the small mercy of adjusting to the crowd in relative peace, but you're already so wound up that it doesn't do that much good. Eventually, he kisses you sweetly on the lips and murmurs, "Gotta go take care of some business, sweetpea. You gonna be alright?"
It's a genuine question, so you answer genuinely. "As long as you don't torture me the whole time you're gone."
When he smiles, you feel like you've just stepped into a trap. "Of course, baby. I'll be back in a jiffy."
He's nice enough to let you get situated in a quiet corner with a drink before he starts fucking with you. To his credit, he sticks to his word...
But only to the letter, and not to the spirit.
He torments you for most of the time he's gone, but not quite all of it. For the most part, he sticks to the lower settings; you seek him out through the crowd, and he meets your gaze across the ballroom while he speaks to someone you don't recognize, his eyes glittering with promise. You thank every Aeon you can think of that no one tries to talk to you while he's gone, because he won't stop randomly spiking the intensity, higher and higher until your fingers are quivering around the stem of your glass - then he drops it right back down, leaving you stewing in a mix of grief and relief.
You completely lose track of time, your eyes going distant and hazy as you put all of your focus into keeping yourself together. He scares the hell out of you when he finally returns, looping one arm around your shoulders and leaning close to your ear, purring, "Hey there, sugar. Is somethin' wrong? You're lookin' a lil' faint."
The look you give him is positively murderous, but he just laughs right in your face. Then, with mischief in his eyes, he invites you to a dance - and how could you ever say no to a face like that?
He might find the music stale - nothing will ever beat the music from back home - but it's all worth it to watch you squirm. Just before the first song begins, he leans right next to your ear and whispers, "Count how many times ya come, and how many times I deny ya. You can do that, can't ya, princess?"
When you hesitantly nod, his smile turns lethal, sharp enough to cut both ways.
(What he doesn't tell you is that you aren't going to come at all. Only he gets to see you like that. Only he gets to feel you tremble. Only he gets to hear all of the pathetic little noises that spill from your lips.)
He edges you the entire fucking time, and he keeps you on that dance floor for as long as you can stand it. Again and again, he builds you up, then breaks you down, guiding you seamlessly every time you stumble or trip, the toy jostling against your g-spot with every step. If you ever get too quiet for his liking, he turns up the vibrator until you can't help yourself. The little noises you make are lost to the crowd and the music, but not to his enhanced hearing. Get too loud, and he turns it back down until you pull yourself together - over and over and over, until your brain feels like liquid in your skull. Before long, you're leaning into his shoulder, using his body to shield the way your jaw drops whenever he brings you to the edge again.
And every single time, you whimper that ever-increasing number in his ear, and every single time, he purrs in delight and croons, "Good girl."
He murmurs filth into your ear the whole time, his breath washing over you as he describes in ruinous detail all of the things he's going to do to you later, all of the ways he's going to break you.
Eventually, he leans close and murmurs, "How wet are you, doll?" The timbre of his voice so close has shivers skittering up your spine. "Bet you're soaked by now."
Just to fuck with you, he hikes up the intensity of the vibrations right when you open your mouth to reply. You trip over your own feet, but he sweeps you along without batting an eye, somehow making your slip-up look natural.
When he finally turns it back down and you compose yourself, you grit out, "I was soaked before we even got here, you fucking basta- oh!"
He smiles with the most unconvincing mask of innocence the world has ever seen as he raises the intensity again, your backtalk dying in your throat. Then, as he lowers it to a more reasonable level, he turns his head to press a kiss to your temple to hide his wicked grin from any onlookers. "Poor baby," he croons, so demeaning that it has your walls shivering around the toy. "You drippin' down your legs yet, sugar? Bet it's smearin' all over your thighs."
You answer him with a pretty little whimper, and he can't help but chuckle, low and husky in your ear.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. Once I'm through with you here, I'm gonna take ya somewhere nice n' quiet, and then I'll get down on my knees for ya," he rumbles. "I'll hold ya up against the wall and lick your thighs clean, 'til you're beggin' me to put my tongue in your pretty lil' hole, 'til you're beggin' me to suck on your clit."
On and on and on he goes, until you're so fucking drenched that the entirety of your inner thighs are slick with your wetness, until you're so desperate to come that you think you might fall to your knees and beg for it, audience be damned.
Just when you're about to tap out, right when you're about to cave and beg him for mercy, he sweeps you into a grand dip at the end of a song, and you're trying so hard to keep it together, and just when you think he's going to finally let you come-
The vibrator goes completely still.
When he finally pulls you up, he wraps a strong, possessive arm around your waist, guiding you off the dance floor with the poise and seriousness of a man on a mission. You're so out of it that you barely register when he sweeps you into a bathroom, but you certainly snap to attention when he wheels around and pins you flat to the door with his hands tight around your hips. The lighting casts his face so starkly in shadow that all you can see are the red pinpricks of his pupils.
Without saying a word, he cranks the vibrations to the maximum, and watches you fall apart.
You moan and whimper helplessly under his stare, and as your peak rapidly creeps up on you, you can't stop yourself from begging. You whine and beg and plead for him to let you come, completely shameless in your need.
"I've been good," you gasp, your throat closing as you race toward the edge yet again. "Please, please, please, bee. I've been good!"
He stares, utterly silent, pinning you with his unwavering gaze.
Your orgasm is so close you can fucking taste it, and your heart is pounding with anticipation, because you still don't know if he's going to let you come, if he's going to deny you again, if he's going to keep torturing you, if he's going to leave you stranded on this edge forever and ever and-
Oh- Oh, fuck, you can't take it- You can't-
You come so hard your vision goes white.
You can feel the pressure of his lips against yours, swallowing up the broken wail that escapes you, drinking it down, down, down as you spiral in the clutches of your orgasm. Your knees collapse from under you, but he supports your weight like it's nothing, keeping you pinned like a moth against the door. As you ride out the waves of your climax, your fingers wound tightly in his suit jacket, he gradually eases the vibrations lower and lower, coaxing you down; finally, you go completely boneless against him, fully trusting him to keep you upright, and he shuts off the toy entirely.
He holds you while you recover, petting your hip with his thumb, cradling you as you piece yourself back together.
"I think I just died," you mumble into his jacket, your mind still heavy with fog.
He chuckles softly, pressing his lips into your hair. "Well, I guess I'll have to revive ya," he murmurs as he pulls away, grasping you by the chin and forcing you to face him, and his voice is thick with gravel when he says, "because I'm not done yet."
You're not quite sure what expression crosses your face, but whatever it is, it makes him grin wickedly.
"How many times did I deny ya, princess?" he rumbles, as if he hadn't been counting alongside you the whole time.
You take a trembling breath, clearly needing a moment to piece your brain together. When you finally answer, your voice is as fragile as a breath of wind.
"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Didn't realize I'd done so many," he lies blatantly, smiling in a way that might've seemed apologetic if he weren't grinning like the cat that caught the canary.
Then, his hands trail slowly downward, and he kneels on the tile in front of you, gradually raising the hem of your skirt higher and higher. You instinctually take it from him with shaking fingers, hiking it up to expose yourself to him. Sure enough, you've completely soaked through your panties, and drops of your slick trail obscenely down your legs. Ever-so-slowly, he eases your panties downward, licking his lips at the sight of you.
"Lemme make it up to ya, baby," he murmurs, his eyes fixed shamelessly on your cunt. Then, he looks back up at you, his eyes dark and all-consuming. "I'll make ya come once for every time I cut ya off. Ain't I generous?"
He's going to kill you. He's going to eat the fucking soul out of you. He's going to break you apart until your mind is ground into dust.
He eases the toy out of you, and a heavy stand of your come stretches and snaps as he pulls it away. Without a moment of hesitation, he laves his tongue across it, moaning obscenely at your taste. You watch with an intoxicating mixture of awe and arousal as he cleans the vibrator end-to-end, licking up every drop until nothing remains; then, he tucks it nonchalantly into his pocket, utterly unbothered.
"Don't forget to count, doll." He grins up at you with too many teeth, leaning closer to your pussy. "And... make some noise for the folks outside, won't ya?"

@opheliaflavoredinstantnoodles @ikeagroceries @shadowstadium @theswashbucklingspy @cosmo112 @fxngtasy
#sal.txt#boothill x reader#reader insert#x reader#hsr x reader#fem reader#honkai star rail#sorry if you don't like wearing dresses lol#i have once again turned something that was supposed to be a drabble into a ficlet. oops#also if you're on the tag list and you'd prefer not to be tagged for stuff like this just let me know#no hard feelings at all š#smut#sal.mmss
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i think itās time to share my zakuro thoughtsā¦before you read HERE IS A DISCLAIMER!
ā ļøThese are interpretations/hcs! not the actual canon, do not take what i say as truth!! i am playing with my toys i like having fun.
with that said i donāt expect anyone to agree with me!! we all have different ideas for our favorite characters and thatās what makes the world go round. i hope u enjoy the read and maybe understand what iām going for!
what really intrigued me is that every numa has some sort of personal problem with themselves or each other, and if they arenāt outright shown thereās certainly something you can dig for. iāve noticed zakuro is a bit underrated when it comes to this. iām here to prove to you that she can be as complex as every other character if you look in the right angle. hold my hand, letās create meaning out of nothing!
i assume zakuroās clones are canonically hinted as a hive-mind. i personally like to interpret it the opposite! zakuroās clones are direct copies of her, yes, but they are capable of having their own thoughts and memories. so every zakuro are unique internally. no zakuro will have the same interaction or react the same way as the other, but that doesn't make her any less zakuro! it is simply the many versions of her emotions and personality shining through. like how one talks to themselves in their mind, i imagine zakuro and her clones are the personified equivalent of that. itās the simplest way i can explain it! i feel with this interpretation, it has room to make her a more emotionally compelling character! without completely erasing her canon-self. a lot of internal and external problems can come out of this immortality of hers that she has been gifted.
letās agree she had this ability all her life, as time goes on perhaps it has the potential to evolve. this could be a pro and a con! sure she can have more stable control, her clones becoming more sentient and soon direct copies of her. but it evolving is also something thatās out of her control, her body changes! looking more monster-like compared to her peers. almost like her body is returning to it's āroots.ā mimicking what's around her. they are not human after all⦠they are monsters. internally, she could feel more alienated from her friends.
did she ever felt like she's littering the world with her copies? so many of her, that she became an afterthought to her friends?
even though past MO games arenāt canon anymore, her friendās reactions to her got me thinking... i canāt help but latch onto these ideas, even if they're jokes! perhaps deep down it bothers her. something has been wrong from the start! zakuro and her friends are a little more considerate in mo4. iād say itās a time in her life where she has accepted her fate and deals with it now. she loves herself! no doubt!
she enjoys her role in the end. but can you blame her when she wants to try to be a part of something more?
tl;dr i hc that the cloning ability is her external / internal problem! it prevents her from reaching out for deeper connections and it slowly erases her sense of self.
this is not all i have.. there's so many ideas i've explored. like how she seems to copy her friendās behaviors / life, death, and willing sacrifice could be a common theme for her / is the original zakuro still alive? and so forth.
maybe those will be their own posts! maybe not! i feel itāll ruin the fun if i kept on rambling though. this is simply me reaching my hand out inviting you to think about her more dramatically with me... cause it's fun!
art is the answer. letās stay curious! one of the few numas with immortality? yes! much to think about š
#ā³ rambling#zakuro#very nervous! i have never shared my writing publicly. iām pretty sure bc of that my grammar is a bit off. pls spare me#i usually would prefer to draw it but i think this is such a complex idea that you NEED words to understand it.#i donāt wanna reveal too much. but if anyone is curious on what more i can do⦠heh⦠you know where to go!#imnot main tagging this im too scared. yay. bye now
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