#i know this is so random but yeah
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tumblr users will have the most inaccessible, unreadable, low contrast, flashing carrd you can possibly imagine, with a dni full of insider acronyms with no translation and numerous link buttons labelled with cryptic captions, and then go ahead and put “ableists dni and kys!” on that carrd
#yeah i’m bitter about carrds becoming so hostile to disabled people#nobody with vision issues or photosensitivity or processing issues or epilepsy or memory issues could possibly read your carrd#small changes like proper colour contrast between background and text can make a world of difference in making your page accessible#even just spelling out the acronyms in your dni or mentioning WHERE a mysterious link will actually lead is so helpful#i see so many links that are just random literary quotes that turn out to lead to a mandatory dni. how would anyone know that??#txt#accessibility#1000
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Dazai canonically rambling about his loved ones at every possible opportunity is so dear to me.
Mori knew a lot of the things he did about Oda because Dazai told him. Akutagawa also knew about Oda and how important he is to Dazai because of Dazai's ramblings. Random, unnamed PM members know about Oda being very dear to Dazai, because Dazai praises him and talks about how great he is.
Chuuya knew straight away that Dazai had been speaking about him to the ADA. It wasn't something he expressed feeling betrayed or suprised about. It was just an immediate understanding that of all the ways they could probably have known about him and his ability despite it being confidential information in the PM, Dazai's ramblings were most likely the reason.
The way that Dazai speaks about Ranpo to quite literally anyone who will listen. To Fydor, to random cops, to Atsushi.
Dazai canonically brags about the people he cares about in an 'omg omg omg my person my people I love them look how amazing they are' way.
#this is so dear to me#i could go on and on about all the random comments dazai makes about his loved ones#Like yeah#the obvious comments about knowing Chuuya's breathing patterns and stuff#but also just#the completely unprovoked information he drops#I just think its cute that he loves them so much and so actively notices details about all his people#port mafia#armed detective agency#dazai osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#oda sakunosuke#bsd odasaku#chuuya nakahara#ranpo edogawa#fydor dostoevsky#character traits
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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Want to know what I believe? It's right here
Dig a little deeper and it's crystal clear
.
(WIP)
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#clear#twenty one pilots#wip#atla zuko#baby zuko#agni kai#Some random general#I have literally nine projects going on#And I started this thing today *sigh*#Good news! If I have the chance to work on it then it'll be ready tomorrow#Be prepared for some angst#fire hazard siblings#This for you two my sweet little turtleducks#You know those moments when you're listening to a random song and a particular lyric just *smacks you in the face*#Well...yeah#I present to you: TØP x ATLA#Because I can#And because Clear is SO Zuko/Royal Family/Iroh coded it's not even funny#I mean#“Where's your home? Where are you going and why are you here? Have you asked these questions? Have you been sincere?”#“I will tell you what I can but your mind will take a stand. I sing of a greater love. Let me know when you've had enough.”#If these aren't the most Iroh lines you have ever read then *takes out a gun* our deal is off#“Introspection is the name of this session. Spread this infection. Reflect it on the next one the next one the next one.”#“And when we're done we'll all have made something new under the Sun.”
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Thinking about Eddie Munson who was complaining to the rest of the band about his shoulders and neck hurting post show. One of them convinces him to go for a massage.
Eddie shows up day of and is told to strip to level of comfort and get under the sheets laying on his back, his masseuse will knock before coming in. Eddie has not an ounce of care or shame, strips completely naked. Scars and tattoos on full display. He climbs between the sheets and waits. After knocking and hearing a "come in", his masseuse enters and-
The most handsome man he's ever seen walks in. A bit of stubble on his defined jaw, soft pale lips Eddie wants to kiss, big brown eyes Eddie wants to get lost in, slutty little waist and an ass Eddie could-
He introduces himself as Steve. Verifies where Eddie had said his tension was on the form he hastily filled out. Then it starts.
And maybe, maybe, Eddie is a bit touch starved. He could have anyone he wants, but they don't want him just his fame. Pushes them all away. Only gets close to his band, but they all are busy and have their own people outside of work.
And Steve is just touching him. Rubbing smooth circles into his temple, down his cheekbones towards his jaw. Pressing on parts of Eddie's face he didn't even realize were tense. It's relaxing.
And Eddie regrets not leaving at least his boxers on to help hide that he's becoming hard. Kind of embarrassing, which makes his dick harder- which, that's a lot to unpack right now-
"Hey, relax man," Steve says, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. Eddie can see Steve's eyes dart towards the obvious situation," It's natural. Happens to the best of us." "Does it happen to you?" Eddie blurts out. Eddie wants to shove his face in one of these soft plush pillows and scream, but Steve just snorts a laugh and shakes his head at him. Doesn't even respond as he continues the massage.
Eddie tries to hold back his groans as Steve turns his head to the side and rubs his neck into his shoulders. He can feel the tension leave his body slowly. Feel the knots in his muscles release.
Eddie can't, however, hold back the noise he makes when Steve grabs a hold of his hair and tugs it. Eddie's eyes pop open and he stares into Steve's face, who has started blushing. Steve just clears his throat and let's Eddie's hair go before continuing the massage.
#Steve was just moving his hair and the intrusive thought won over and yanked Eddie's hair towards him#Eddie is waxing poetic in his head has already written a minimum of 3 songs about Steve and is now going to have Steve star in every fantas#Lol yall aren't gonna believe this i paused when typing 'Eddie is' and the suggested was to put 'Eddie is a gay disaster' asdhfdlsl#Anyways this was totally NOT inspired by me getting a massage (I've had many in the past) and this random masseuse grabbed all of my hair i#Their hand and then tugged it towards themselves which...has never happened before and I almost moaned so uh found something out about me#I was just like “OH???oh!” And then proceeded to melt into the table#That wasn't even the wildest massage experience I had...I've had a few which is why I know I should only stick with one person#Because I trust that masseuse but instead I was like “well let me try the stones they don't offer here” and went elsewhere#ANYWAYS I could see this happening to Eddie and went oh yeah...didn't mean to ramble but here ya go#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington#Steddie#Steddie drabble#Jade is Talking
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gofishing.jpg
#im having artblock rn#yeah I know. THIS IS SO RANDOM🎣#frollo#claude frollo#and omg thank y'all for 100 frollowers!! luv u all so much✨🙌#disney#hond#judge frollo#the hunchback of notre dame#disney art
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he probably doesn’t have to do taxes
#i did not have my eye on the time tonight#i was testing out brushes a lot with this as well#thanks to my old teacher for having a really cool instagram and letting me use her pics as reference#uhhhhhh#i didn’t know what to title this so random bs is what you get#yeah#anyways have a great day :)#froggtogs#art#fanart#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk link#totk#loz botw#loz totk#totk fanart
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What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point
Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:
Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!
He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.
[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]
(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)
Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.
So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.
The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.
Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.
We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.
So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.
#pjo#riordanverse#fandom history#rick riordan#rr crit#ask#boywithskull#anonymous#long post //#fun times fun times#im always amused by the bit where i come in. like oh yeah i played a major part in the middle of all of this#i didnt mean to but i was the beginning of the end#maybe thats why this book is my personal hell. its in direct retribution#its really weird though because Rick did not usually reply to people on twitter but he responded to my open letter WITHIN HALF AN HOUR#within half an hour of me posting it he replied and then rapid-fire replied to like two or three other random tweet questions#at which point he confirmed he wrote Reyna with her being alloromantic ace-coded in mind (''but you dont have to agree'')#(i should note also - rick's reply plus the ensuing tweets HEAVILY implies he did NOT actually read my open letter. lmao.)#dipped off twitter for a couple of weeks. came back to post his blog posts responding to criticism about Piper and Sam#and then left social media completely. people kept talking. oh look new book pspspsp. look show pspspsp.#but so. yknow. i did that. it was ME!!!!!! and i will never let him forget. i know what he did.#i will never let him live down shitty PR move to try and sweep those bad blog posts under the rug
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Love the thought of Leo just casually being well traveled to absurd degrees. Like one day they’re facing their new Big Bad of the year and like, Draxum or whoever says that the key to their fight is located somewhere in, like, Latvia or some place, but no one knows where to start.
Then Leo’s like “oh I know a place” and when asked how the heck he could know of one it smash cuts to Leo falling through the ceiling of said place due to a portal mishap.
Also love the idea of Leo, being as accidentally (and then later, purposefully) well traveled as he is, sometimes taking his family on outings to different places all over, maybe to some new Yokai spots he found along the way.
In these places, Leo 100% lets his bros get scammed by tourist traps.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#bro was so excited about buying stuff that he didn’t realize it was a scam until too late#so now he’s super sus of all that BUT super willing to laugh at his fam for making the same mistake#anyway yeah I love Leo being well traveled because it honestly makes sense? why NOT use your teleportation to travel if you can do it fast#all his portal mishaps in the series as well as that time he accidentally went to Paris (+ once a diff dimension?) live in my head rent free#Leo destroying the stall of some random family’s restaurant in Paraguay and having to work it off the rest of the summer#he’s just like ‘hey guys I’m heading out’ but doesn’t mention it’s for a part time job in a different country#he only knows like English and Spanish BUT he’s picked up on a lot of other languages too due to his misadventures#tho he mostly knows a whole lot of various swear words#leo about to tease donnie for getting banned from witch town only to remember HE’S banned from a place in Turkey: 😬#he keeps trying to find where he accidentally put his brothers in Tahiti but he can’t find it and he’s so salty about it lol
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it is funny though how kids' shows are so so so careful about death, no one's ever killed except MAYYYYBE the big bad, all those random side characters are fine, here have a quick shot of them before we leave just so you know they really did survive that 50-foot drop into a stormy sea,
and meanwhile kids' books nearly all agree that it's not an adventure until it has a body count.
#to be clear I don't mean the heroes killing people#that's frankly a separate question#but bad guys come with collateral damage#even if they're nameless extras who are never described as more than a body in the street#and quite often the friends the hero meets along the way#will not all make it to the end#edit: actually I do also mean the heroes killing people#atla being so so so careful to show random mooks surviving and having the fire nation take prisoners all the time#vs animorphs going 'yeah we kill people. yeah we've got ptsd. what of it'#vs that one vivian vande velde book I read where the protagonist is really really stressed#about creeping up on a mook with a rock to bash him on the head#bc *what if she kills him?* she's just a teenager she doesn't know how brain trauma works she doesn't want to be a murderer#to be clear animorphs and this book are on the same page
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Do you think Skyfire/Jetfire still exists in the Transformers One continuity?
Like Starscream at some point goes “I miss my husband, Megatron” because he’s still missing or something
I don’t know, I just woke up and this was on my mind
#I only really know Skyfire’s G1 backstory so I don’t know if that’s what they’d go with#but the image of Starscream having that Eggman moment is funny to me#also the two factions would have just been created so Skyfire wouldn’t be an Autobot yet#just still missing#but yeah#transformers#transformers one#skyfire#jetfire#starscream#skystar#questions#random stuff
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I don’t usually do these, but I kinda like this one so thanks @halfbakedideas for the tag 😂
Open tag bc I never know who to tag for these 😅 Still very curious to see everyone’s random music
#I like that it’s random and not top 5#this… yeah this mix scans#shoutout to halfbakedideas for having the same song tho!#I never know who’s already been tagged or who doesn’t like tags or or or#so anyway if you haven’t been tagged yet and you wanna do the thing#this is me tagging you#tag#another digression#although IS it a digression if Boxes is only on here bc it’s on my 14 playlist?
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being in art school and having basically 0 knowledge about christianity whatsoever is so funny at this point i think you could tell me literally anything was an allegory for jesus and i'd just believe you
#my ass has been to church like twice in my entire life so my peers are like 'this is a biblical allegory' and im like yeah ok sure#makes art history class very annoying tho because everyone just assumes you can look at a stained glass window and know who all the guys ar#also sometimes people will be like this image depicts the story of david or peter or some random other biblical name#and then just. not elaborate. because apparently we all know the stories of every biblical guy who ever existed.#who is peter and why is he in the church window. please#and i dont even have an EXCUSE bc like both ethnically and like in basic practice i am christian. i celebrate christmas or whatever#my parents both just fucking hated church so much as children they were like nah were not doing that#and now i have a deficiency in Identifying White Men In Paintings apparently.#sigh. sorry just got a 5 out of 13 on an art history quiz feeling GREAT
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I’m sorry but nothing will ever beat Finn’s drive playlist that he made during s3 filming, with songs like Me and Michael, The Basement, Gay Thoughts and No Woman lmaoooo
#byler#stranger things#in all seriousness#finn has already confirmed he listens to music on the way to set to get in the zone for his character#millie and noah have said when asked that he’s the cast-member most likely to be listening to music on set#do I think every song on there is byler-coded? no#do I think he made it specifically for byler fans to witness and read into? no#but i do think there is a middle ground here#since byler is happening... yeah there are gonna be songs that get him in the zone for byler scenes#and yet there are also probably gonna be songs that he likes rn and wants to use to feel inspo for filming in general#aka plenty of songs just there for the way they sound/the vibes that get him more comfortable getting into character#but then again he also could have made the playlist private to avoid people reading into it#he’s known for years people have seen his playlists and hasn’t made those private either#so I don’t think he cares if ppl read into it#(at least for now...)#but fr that drive playlist still haunts me to this day#i remember when he mentioned listening to music to get in the zone for filming#he specifically mentioned that he listened to it when driving to set and ppl went crazy connecting it to his drive playlist lol#so i mean who knows#maybe he makes the names confusing/random but also sometimes with a hint of truth bc he knows people are gonna deny it or read into it#and he's playing with that possiblity#but i wouldn't die on that hill by any means.#but the drive playlist is why idrc if people read into the STurn one bc i mean....#yeah those songs that sound eerily like mike's emotions in regards to will probably are that way for a reason
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meat roxy is so funny because that whole thing is indicative of how homestuck is such a deeply transfem story that if you try picking a random character out of a hat to make transmasculine it's basically a coin flip as to whether you're overwriting a transfem narrative of some kind (and it's extra funny because the writers just so happened to roll Snake Eyes, Two Ones, critical failure, and did it to the character with perhaps the most blatant transfem coding of all time that just so happens to beautifully enhance her entire arc)
#juney.txt#hs#probably not a *hot* take but like god#if they revealed dave was transmasc? yeah the character who's whole arc is about how ideals of masculinity suck and you should discard them#june? you know how we feel about her here. that would not fly at all lmao#jade? well the furry joke we've already done literally makes her tma. so.#i'm not transmasc and a lot of the popular transmasc headcanons just kinda fly right over my head because of that u_u#but jane is a popular choice and from what i've seen it's for a lot of good reasons#but alas we made her the fascist bad guy so. can't hit her with the testosterone beam#i've heard that apparently meat!roxy is transmasc because one of the transmasc writers on the og team related a lot to roxy#or something#and if i hadn't heard that i would swear the writers just picked at random from the characters they weren't already doing something with
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🌸 post-catws stucky + lovers’ kiss
one.
The thing about grief is, it has a habit of dropping by every once in a while, unannounced and insistent like a nosy suburban neighbor.
It’s a contrary little creature. Some days it strikes hard, and crushes Steve’s chest with the brutal force of a frothing waterfall. Sometimes, though, it comes in droplets; little pills that get stuck in his throat for a minute, until he can swallow them down.
Steve doesn’t mind those too much: sure, the aftertaste is bitter – but there’s always a spoonful of honey at hand to help wash it down.
two.
There’s a morning ritual Steve is particularly fond of.
When the coffee has been made, and the first sip taken, he nudges their mugs to the side, and crowds Bucky back against the kitchen counter, arms braced on either side of him to box him in. Bucky watches him come with a knowing grin, a gleam in his eyes that says, well, all right, he’ll let Steve believe that he’s leading this little dance here, just this once.
But it’s Bucky who pulls him in the rest of the way; Bucky who sets his hands low around Steve’s waist, and brings their bodies flush together from hip to knee, delight written in the pretty curve of his lips.
“Hey there, sailor,” he teases. His morning voice is a dark, rich thing, rough around the edges but soft at its core, sweet with that old Brooklyn drawl that brings Steve right back home.
“Hey there, sweetheart,” he chuckles against Bucky’s smiling lips, their breaths warm between them. “Fancy meetin’ ya here.”
It’s a ritual. Aren’t all kisses a ritual? Well-learned steps and a worshipful heart, the motions so ingrained they come naturally to your limbs.
Their mouths brush together, easy. Unrushed, like time will slow down for them if they’ll just deign to ask.
Bucky’s head tilts just so in Steve’s hands, and the kiss opens up, spilling its molten heat on Steve’s tongue, stroking inside to taste him, easy, easy.
It’s a long-practiced dance. If Bucky pushes, Steve will give; if Steve strays to flutter kisses all over Bucky’s bristly cheek, Bucky will grin and chase after him, and steer Steve back towards his lips.
It’s lazy. Uncomplicated. It’s their first conversation of the day, and Steve can just make out the words in the whisper of Bucky’s hair running through the gaps between his fingers; in the hushed rustle of his own t-shirt, when Bucky’s hand slips under the hem and slides warmly up the dip of Steve’s spine, leaving a trail of pebbled skin in its wake.
You’re here, Bucky’s touch says, awed and reverent.
Always, Steve says back, and kisses that vow to Bucky’s lips for Bucky to find later, when he’ll brush his fingertips against it, and the well-loved flush of his mouth, red and sweetly sore, will remind him of this. Of always.
Parting from him is agony, but breathing is an unfortunate necessity in life – so Steve pulls back, though only just enough to drink Bucky in, his arms wrapped snugly around Bucky’s waist to hold him close.
He’s a sight to behold, all soft and loved up and ruffled from Steve’s own hands, his smile like a ripe fruit framed by the fullness of his beard. His eyes crinkle with it, each little crease a testament to his happiness – and Steve knows he’s gonna have to take his time kissing each and every one of those later, or he’ll simply be driven to madness.
He should get to have a whole lifetime of this, Steve thinks – a lifetime to dedicate just to this little pleasure. Seventy years at least, to make up for the seventy years gone by that could have seen them grow old and gray together, but were stolen from them instead – and then seventy years more, ninety, a hundred, as many as his old withering body will stand and breathe for.
This will be his only job: the worship of Bucky’s laugh lines, of the curling wisps of his bedhead, of his eyelashes fanning darkly against the pad of Steve’s thumb. Cherishing this treasure he holds in his hands – the one he once thought gone forever.
There it is now: a little pill lodged in his throat. The cold hand of grief squeezing around his heart again, just for a moment.
Bucky’s palms cup his cheeks, drawing Steve’s gaze up to meet his.
“Hey,” he murmurs, gentler than before, his thumb stroking soothingly over Steve’s cheekbone. “You’ve got your thinking face on. What’s wrong?”
Steve covers Bucky’s hand with his own, turning his mouth to it to kiss the warm, unyielding metal of Bucky’s palm.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he promises, leaning in to nudge to tip of his nose against Bucky’s, like a puppy. “Just busy coming up with an excuse to kiss you some more.”
Bucky’s breath puffs warmly against his lips. “Yeah? Had any luck yet?”
Steve hums pleasantly, “Mm-mmm”, locking his fingers together just above the small of Bucky’s back, and gently sways the two of them from side to side. Bucky snorts, amused, but he allows it; dropping his hands to rest on Steve’s shoulders as Steve rocks them slowly, left to right, right to left.
“Here’s what I think,” Steve rumbles. “I think I ought to give you one kiss for each day we were apart since 1945.”
Bucky stares back at him, his lips parted slightly in surprise. He takes Steve in, wordlessly, studying him from the arch of his eyebrows, to the half-crooked slope of his nose, to the hopeful smile Steve knows he must be sporting right now. There is much left unsaid, Steve can feel its weight hanging in the air between them, recognizes it by taste and sound.
But Bucky’s gray eyes shimmer, nearly crystal-clear, and they fill with the kind of big, heart-twisting emotion that cannot fit under a single label; one that is equal parts ache and tenderness, and Steve understands – his chest feels too-tight around that same ache, too.
“That’s a lot of kisses,” Bucky rasps softly, and his hand skates up Steve’s shoulder to curl over the nape of his neck, herding him one inch closer into Bucky’s space.
“Yes,” Steve whispers, leaning in the rest of the way to mash their foreheads together. He can feel his own heart beat inside his chest, a quick and steady rhythm, and a rushing sense of victory bubbles straight up to his lips, sweet and light as air. “Exactly.”
Bucky laughs, a little wetly, and laughs ever harder when Steve tries to kiss him and gets all teeth and half a nostril instead – his head thrown back and his whole body shaking joyfully, while Steve ducks in to kiss what bristly portion of Bucky’s neck he can reach.
A treasure, Steve thinks.
A treasure in his hands, and forever to hold on to it.
three.
He sits himself down at the table with a sheet of paper, a pen and a calculator, a bunch of dates marked down and circled over and over in the topmost corner.
Bucky watches him from across the room, amused and – Steve believes – a little bit impressed.
“You’re really gonna do this?”
Steve smiles up at him, throwing in one teasing wiggle of his eyebrows for good measure.
“I’m a man of my word.”
It takes nearly a whole hour of focused scribbling before he looks up again, a wide grin lit up like Christmas on his face and a torn piece of paper held up in triumph. “I have the number.”
25109.
Seventy years’ worth of daily kisses.
It’s quite the commitment. It requires dedication. But good things are always worth putting in the work, Bucky tells him, eyes dancing with laughter; and when he settles in Steve’s lap, heavy and warm in Steve’s arms, and brushes their mouths together to claim the first of what he was promised, Steve can’t help but agree.
four.
25109 kisses Steve owes him, and he initiates quite a few; but mostly, he lets Bucky ask for them, when and where the mood strikes him to do so.
When he’s right on the verge of sleep, his face half-swallowed up by his pillow, and he can’t even peel his eyes open long enough to receive his kiss – he just tips his chin up and waits for Steve to scoot closer and find his mouth, drowsily humming in satisfaction.
When he lets Steve slip into the shower with him, and slides his hands up Steve’s chest, sweet and proprietary, and their breaths mingle with the hot steam.
When he’s got his head in Steve’s lap while Steve reads, and Steve’s fingers carding through his hair at leisure; and Steve catches Bucky watching him from under his eyelashes, and trying to hide that private little grin of his, because apparently Steve was silently mouthing the words again without realizing it.
“Kiss me special, Stevie,” he’ll croon, and Steve will know.
And he’ll be all too happy to comply.
five.
Steve is supposed to keep score. He does, too. For the most part.
Once every couple of weeks or so, though, he’ll just so happen to conveniently lose count.
He’ll roll out of bed with singular purpose, and break the tragic news to Bucky over their morning coffee, barefoot and forlorn. Bucky never buys his little sob story, but that never stops Steve from batting his eyelashes at him all prettily, either.
He’ll guide Bucky’s arms to loop around his neck, luring him in, soft and stealthy like a thief, and he’ll mumble real close to Bucky’s lips, “Let’s start over again.”
And Bucky, sweet, merciful, long-suffering Bucky, will accept his fate and be kissed breathless once more, right in front of their placidly steaming mugs.
“There,” Steve will murmur, again, and again, and again. “One down, 25108 to go.”
Oh, one life won’t be enough to see the end of this, no.
And that’s exactly Steve’s plan.
***
little sidenote nobody asked for lol: obviously the number of days/kisses varies depending on when you think the boys were reunited; my wishful thinking headcanon for this specific fic is: post-helicarrier, they find each other again sometime in the fall, 2014. the ficlet is set sometime in late spring 2016, and ignores everything that comes after catws.
#stucky#stevebucky#post-catws stucky#i clearly have no idea what i'm doing#neither with the writing nor with the formatting. but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i tried#i swear that number is way less random than it looks#do you know how many leap years we've had since 1945?? i know now#was it really necessary?? i mean. yeah i mean. probably not lol#i'm so sorry#i've been adding and subtracting for too long#i don't even know what i wrote anymore#please have mercy#should probs delete later#rillers scribbles
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