#i know this also plays into an issue of stray dogs which i understand as less than ideal but liiiike

[gumheel]

oaky call me ignorant and if someone has more insight into this feel free to talk to me this isn't an area i'm immensely educated in so i'd love to have a dialogue about it. but i never understand why the response to dogs coming from puppy mills is this unilateral "do NOT touch that dog with a ten foot pole" because i think it feels really... cruel? if you have the time & education & resources to socialize, ensure the heath of, and train that dog, then i've never rrally understood why the feeling is that you should just ignore their existence. the thing is those dogs have already been bred and are already being sold; i guess the principle is not to encourage those practices monetarily in any way which i Understand on a theoretical level but it seems harsh in practice. what happens to those dogs if they're never adopted? idk. i guess my ideal reality would be one in which you can combat the existence of these breeders without letting a dog suffer but i don't know if that's plausible

[cranberryjuice-posts]

So don’t freak out

Synopsis - Clarisse is Bad at keeping secrets

Pairings - college! Clarisse x mortal fem! Reader

IMPORTANT - this FIC takes Place after PJO and HOO and is during TOA, so spoilers are ahead, this is basically cannon clarisse outside of camp

It had been a year since clarisse left camp. After the war against the Roman’s and Gaea she was just ready to finally attend college and be a ‘normal’ girl.

So far everything was going great. In an advance intro to Greek mythology and culture course mainly she took since she needed a fine arts credit she met you. You were just some mortal girl, at first she didn’t really notice you but after being assigned on a project together she quickly realized how much she liked you.

Even after you introduced clarisse to your friend group and invited her out to eat she just couldn’t get you out of her mind. She would pray to her father and Aphrodite in hopes for advice little did she know Aphrodite was playing match maker against ares better judgement.

After a few months clarisse caved and asked you out.. Even after a few dates she was still to nervous to ask the question so you did, that’s how you two started to date.

Your relationship was perfect. You loved spending time with clarisse and her mother, you also love playing with her hair and watching her when she would dominate the court no matter what sport it was in the gym.

——

You were sitting by clarisse in her dorm room as you did an assignment. “Uh huh, you know you really enjoy the story of achilles and Patroclus”

Clarisse rolled her eyes. “Shut up”

“I’m serious!” You joked “I don’t know it’s just the way you talk about him and write his story it’s like you are him, or maybe you lost your Patroclus so you relate” you smiled at first but soon straightened your position when she grew quiet. “Did I..”

“No.. no” clarisse sighed and set her pen down before rubbing her eyes.. she let out a sigh and looked over at you gently grabbing your hand. “About two years ago.. there was this big event in my life. I had a best friend named silena.. she was my everything and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love her.. silena had recently lost her boyfriend and when she had died in the accident which was my fault, it hurt.. a lot. I did everything I could to save her and I even got vengeance for her, so In a way yeah I lost my Patroclus but that’s ok.. I have you now” she leaned over and kissed your cheek wanting to cheer you up some.

You rubbed her hand softly.. you had so many questions but decided against it not wanting to press the issues.

——

It was Saturday. Clarisse was messing around with you as you two were walking back towards the college campus while laughing together after going on a date. You let go of her hand and walked ahead before stopping so you could take some pictures of her..

Once clarisse caught up and took your phone out of your hand she leaned down and kissed you. “You know your dumb right” you rolled your eyes. “Yeah I’m aware”

There was a loud bang from an alley way.. while you thought nothing of it You noticed clarisse tensing up. “Babe-“

She grabbed you and forced you behind her. “Don’t move” she instructed. You were confused, what you saw was a stray dog eating some trash but clarisse was acting like she saw a monster. “Y/n” she whispered and grabbed your waist. “We’re gonna run”

“Lise what’s going on”

“I’ll explain later but we need to RUN!” She yelled and grabbed your hand running down the street with the barking dog now chasing you.. you had never seen clarisse act like this..

Turn after turn after turn. All you knew was that clarisse continued to run with you in her hand, you looked back and for a moment the dog chasing you… it wasn’t a dog it looked bigger meaner.. hellish even. You didn’t understand and you didn’t want to.

Eventually clarisse threw you into a random gas station and slammed against a shelf panting.. the dog sat patiently outside not moving but eerily watched as you and clarisse caught your breath. Clarisse dragged you to the bathroom and locked the door. “Look—“

“Clarisse what the fuck is going on!” You yelled, your dress now messed up along side your now frizzy hair and sweaty face. “It’s a dog!”

She held her head down before looking at you with concern. “It’s.. a dog” You spoke however this time less assure in yourself.

Clarisse shook her head and opened the bathroom door.. she walked out for a moment before coming back and nodding her head in a different direction. “Common this way” she softly took your hand, you squinted your eyes thinking you were seeing things.. it was almost like clarisse had a spear? In her Hand more specifically an Ancient Greek style spear. You shook your head and the spear disappeared leaving only clarisses keys in her hand.

You left out the back way and took a longer way back to campus.. neither of you spoke until you got to clarisses dorm.

You sat down on her bed and watched as she hung her keys on the wall.. there it was again the spear but it left as soon as you saw it.

“Claire”

“Hm” she flatly spoke and opened her computer.

“That wasn’t a dog was it..” you spoke quietly. She sent an email before sighing and walking infront of you taking your hands. “No.. no it wasn’t”

“Can I Tell You something Crazy” You mumbled, clarisse nodded while squeezing your hands. “The dog…. It almost looked like a hellhound like from Mr. Anthony’s talk on Greek monsters, I know I sound crazy.. but it only lasted for a second”

“That’s” she gave a dramatic sigh. “That’s because it was a hellhound” You looked up confused. “Y/n.. there’s something you need to know”

This was to much. You didn’t like any of this clarisses tone the apparent hell hound chasing you NOW the spear on the wall clear as day not disappearing. You faced clarisse again and nodded. “All those myths you know and love.. their real and I am a daughter of ares”

At first there was silence until you started to laugh. Clarisse looked back at you offended all while you just laughed. “You’ve gotta be joking!” Clarisse was starting to grow irritated, you calmed down.. noticed clarisses face you Just scoff. “Right because Zeus and hades and fucking ares all exist? Clarisse baby I love you but if your seeing things we can get you help I mean me seeing a hellhound of everything was probably just a result of the alcohol I had earlier and some adrenaline”

Clarisse tapped her foot before letting go and going to her night stand. You watched as she rummaged through until she pulled out a golden coin. “What are You Gonna do with that” You asked with a smile.

“Prove to you I’m not lying” she sighed and grabbed a crystal her roommate had, she propped it up on a table and flashed her phones flashlight through it to make a prism and stepped back. “Oh Iris, goddess of the Rainbow, please accept my offering."

She tossed the coin into the cystals light and it dissolved..your smile dropped and was replaced by confusion. “Camp halfblood Dionysius”

The prism shimmered and soon showed a reflection of a middle aged man sitting at a table with a centaur beside him.

Chiron looked up and smiled. “Ah clarisse daughter of ares, what can I do for you”

Mr.D looked over and rolled his eyes. “Clementine always a pleasure” his tone clearly sarcastic

Clarisse rolled her eyes. “You mean clarisse”

“Same thing”

You had a look of horror on your face as you watched the scene before you. “Claire.. did you say Chiron as in the centaur guy” The two men exchanged looks wondering what the call was really about.

She nodded and held her hand out now showing Chiron and Mr. D You.. there was some silence until Mr.D complained.

—

She ended the Iris message and turned to face you. “You believe me Now” You nodded slowly, she chuckled and walked over grabbing your cheeks and kissing your forehead.

“I.. have a shit ton to explain” she sighed but smiled as you hugged her in response. Clarisse was worried, you were a mortal now stepping into her world but one thing clarisse knew was that you weren’t gonna get hurt she would make sure of that.

Clarisse - and uh that was the battle of manhatten

Y/n - YOU KILLED A DRAKON IN ONE SHOT

Clarisse - …Yeah? THATS ALL YOU TOOK FROM THE STORY

——

Y/n - so have you met Hecate

Clarisse - no Just because I’m a demigod doesn’t mean I’ve met every god, but why her?

Y/n - because she’s cool as shit that’s why

——

Y/n - you shoved a kids head into a toilet because he killed the Minotaur

Clarisse - SUPPOSEDLY killed the Minotaur I mean Percy’s strong now but he was a runt then

Y/n - oh my god clarisse 😭

[dragondoodling]

All my Bungou Stray Dog Headcanons, ALL OF THEM

(more to be added)

-T4T skk (masc)

-sskk

-Rampoe

-Oda and Ango were dating 

-Dazai is touch starved

-Chuuya is touch-adverse, Dazai being an exception

-Chuuya loves supplying Dazai with all the touch he craves (just like me fr)

-Chuuya has top surgery, but not on T

-Dazai is on T, but no top surgery 

-Dazai binds with bandages (DON’T DO THIS ITS VERY BAD AND UNHEALTHY)

-Dazai and Chuuya were dating in the mafia and broke up after Dazai left

-They got back together after the truce

-Chuuya was very hurt by Dazai leaving, but they talked it out and Chuuya understands why Dazai left how he did

-Dazai and Chuuya live together

-Chuuya has central heterochromia 

-Chuuya’s corruption marks are always visible, albeit very faint when not active

-Chuuya’s manga hair color is his natural color, occasionally dying it ginger

-Chuuya has intervened and stopped multiple of Dazai’s attempts 

-Dazai does Chuuya’s nails

-Dazai doesn’t self harm (he dislikes pain)

-Dazai actually has abnormally low pain tolerance, but has learned to hide it in the mafia

-Dazai has autism, which is why he struggles with showing his emotions, but trauma (Mori) has led him to believe it’s because he isn’t human

-Dazai has severe medical trauma and outright refuses to enter Yosano’s office/clinic

-Dazai has mistaken Yosano for Mori on particularly bad days

-Dazai is NOT allowed on the roof of the agency without someone else there

-Dazai is blind in his right eye

-This is from @asingleflyingfuck but Dazai has alexithymia

-Within the ADA, Dazai is the closest with Rampo

-Dazai and Rampo play video games together, both enjoying Danganronpa

-Rampo and Poe don’t live together (yet)

-Rampo and Poe are both autistic 

-Rampo is also ADHD

-Rampo is farsighted, which was the original reason Fukuzawa bought the glasses

-Rampo is legally adopted by Fukuzawa (all the minors that join the agency are)

-Poe is blind

-Karl is a seeing eye raccoon that guides him like ratatouille

-Trans masc Akutagawa 

-Akutagawa isn’t on T or have top surgery due to his health issues

-Akutagawa has haphephobia

-Atsushi chuffs (tiger equivalent of purring)

-Atsushi has been legally adopted by Dazai (He doesn’t know)

-Atsushi has schizophrenia

-Kunikida has OCD

-Everyone has some form/amount of PTSD

Posts of headcanons I like:

This is what I was saying about Rampo’s poor eyesight:

[faggot-vampire-dies-epicly]

Respite

Summary: After a really bad argument with your brother Mike, you are left feeling distraught after both of you said things you shouldn't have. As you're struggling to come to terms with what happened, you find comfort in the person you least expected. | Words: 4.225K. Requested by @xxinmyfnafworldxx.

Warnings: Mentions of child disappearance. Mentions of poverty. Cursing, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, family drama, family issues, unresolved romantic tension. Smoking. A bit of an age gap, since Reader is younger than Mike and Vanessa. Fem!Schmidt!Reader.

A/N: Okay, yeah, I know this took long but I was busy, sorry. School is beating my ass, my cousin got into a car accident and a stray dog bit me in the leg. It may not have the same quality as the last one, but I did put in a lot of effort, and I do like how this turned out, so I hope you guys like it too.

Main Masterlist | Vanessa Masterlist | AO3

Nebraska, 1987.

“During autumn, Nebraska is colder than at home. So don’t take off your sweater.”

That was the first thing your dad said when he helped you get out of the car.

Garrett and Mike were already playing tag around the campsite. You chuckled and ran after them, following them into the woods.

That night, at the police station, as you sat beside the only sibling you had left now, you realized your dad was right. Nebraska was indeed colder than Hurricane.

November, 2000.

The past months had been rough.

With Max’s disappearance, you had no choice but to quit your job and stay home to look after Abby while Mike was at work.

After all, Mike had an accident (that he didn’t want to tell you anything about) which caused him to lose another job, which meant even more cost-cutting since he couldn’t keep one job for too long, nor get a high-paying one.

Abby had been there with him the night of the “accident” and she didn’t want to say a thing about it either.

It was driving you insane.

At least things with Aunt Jane had gotten better. But that only was because you had found her passed out in the living room the same night Mike had been injured, and she never came back to bother you and your siblings ever since.

So currently, you were struggling financially, like you always did. 

Mike always got the worst of it.

The smallest portion at dinner, the cheapest clothes, the most worn-out shoes.

You lived in a perpetual state of worrying about him. He would just give you a tired smile, and say, “It’s alright.”

You knew it wasn’t.

Everything changed after Mike lost his job at that old restaurant.

Mike and Abby’s relationship had been magically fixed, or at least that’s how it felt. 

She wasn’t shutting both of you out anymore, and Mike had become more calm and understanding.

There was also Vanessa, the police girl who had stayed a couple of weeks at your house. She was Abby and Mike’s friend and had also been involved in whatever happened in that old place.

Mike had let her stay in the house while recovering from whatever injury she had suffered.

She had slept on the couch. Sometimes you would go to the kitchen for water in the middle of the night, and you would find her awake, looking through the window.

Vanessa never talked much, at least not with you, she seemed to like Mike more. But you would still stay with her until she whispered goodnight and slipped under the blankets.

Sometimes, you would stay even after she had fallen asleep. You were the only one who could wake her from her nightmares after all.

Then she had moved out and you barely saw her. Sometimes she would drop Abby off from school, or Mike would invite her to dinner.

Vanessa was… fine. 

It’s not that you didn’t like her. 

No. 

You liked her very much.

But you didn’t have time to acknowledge what that meant. Much less let her know.

 Not that you were thinking of actually doing it.

After all, it seemed like everyone's life was improving, except for yours.

You still couldn’t go to college like you wanted to, since there were no babysitters around to look out for your little sister.

Mike was still jumping from job to job, getting paid barely enough to help with the mortgage and the basic groceries. And you couldn’t help with that either, since nobody wanted to hire you just for the part-time, and even if they wanted to, Mike wouldn’t approve of it.

And even worse, you couldn’t even go out to make friends, because, even if your older brother had changed, he was still as overbearing and overprotective with you.

You were sure that if you went to look at the meaning of overzealous on the library computers, his name would be the first thing to come up.

It always drove you nuts.

Even if you were young, you were already an adult. You didn’t need him to always keep an eye on you.

You understood it was just a trauma response. You really did.

You were there the day Garrett was kidnapped, after all. You recalled the horrified look on Mike’s face as they were interrogating him. His cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes red-rimmed, and he was so pale anyone could have mistaken him as a ghost.

You could remember him saying, “I just looked away for a second. I swear it was just a second,” to your parents' sorrowful faces over and over again.

Still, it didn’t mean you had to suffer such consequences. You wanted to live a normal life, as normal as you could, regardless of what had happened.

Abby sighed profoundly and shifted on her seat, frowning at her drawing. 

You were in the kitchen, making dinner, and close enough to her to notice her discontent, so you pushed the salad you just finished aside and looked at her.

“What’s wrong, Abz?”

She made a face, meeting your gaze. “My friend from school invited me to have a sleepover tonight, but Mike won’t let me go.”

You frowned. When did this kid make friends at school?

And why were you just finding out about it?

“Well, uh,” you trailed off. “Did he give you a reason? Like, is he going to stay late at work tonight?”

Abby shook her head, looking back at her drawing, and put the crayon she was holding down on the table.

Just then, as if you had summoned him, Mike opened the door and stepped into the house.

Abby and you turned to look at him as he took out his jacket, and stepped out of his shoes.

He smiled at Abby, first, ruffling her hair, and looked at her drawing.

“That’s a good one,” he murmured, looking at Abby. He then turned to look at you.

“What’s with that face?” Mike asked casually.

“Abby told me something interesting,” you said, focusing on the salad again.

Mike hummed, peeking into the pots on the stove, and checked what you were cooking. “What did she say?”

You huffed, setting the salad to the side again.

“Well, first of all,” you turned to look at him. “I have just been made aware that she has a friend in school.”

Mike chuckled softly, leaving the pots alone to face you. “Ah, yes. It’s true, she has a school friend.”

You huffed, frustrated. Did neither of them feel like this was important information? After all the time Abby had struggled to make real friends?

“And also,” you continued, “her friend invited her to a sleepover, and you didn’t allow it.”

Mike sighed, already tired from the conversation. “Yes, that’s true, too.”

“So, why can’t she go?” You crossed your arms.

Mike shrugged. “It's not safe for her.”

You scoffed. “You're unbelievable. It's just a sleepover. What's the worst that could happen? Kids consuming too much sugar? She asking her friend's mom to call you because she misses her room? ”

Mike huffed, shaking his head, and tried to walk away from the conversation.

You followed him across the hall and into his room.

“Come on, Mike. What's the worst that could happen? Seriously.”

Mike sighed, turning to face you while he tossed away his tie. “I don't know – I mean, we don't know these people. God knows what strange habits–”

“Are you hearing yourself?” you said, disbelief clear in your voice. “You’re accusing people you don’t know of being,” you gestured with your hands, “weirdos, just because you’re afraid of letting Abby out of your sight!”

Mike rolled his eyes, scoffing. “I'm not afraid, I'm just being careful! It's my job as an older brother–”

“You won't have control over her all her life. You know that, right?” You argued back. “She might be a kid right now but she’ll keep on growing and things will get out of hand, Mike.”

The conversion was turning into a whole-blown argument. You knew you shouldn't press Mike's buttons further, but it was too late to care about that.

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “Don't start this again.”

You scoffed, “Start what, exactly?”

“You know what. I'm not in the mood to argue.”

“You're never in the mood for anything!” You snapped at him. “All you do is work,” you continued. “Or rather, try to keep your job and watch over us like you're our bodyguard. You are going to asphyxiate us with your intensity.”

“I'm just trying to keep you two safe!”

Your voices were raised so high that Abby could probably hear the discussion from the living room.

“Keep us safe–”

“Oh, please,” he practically mocked. “You know I have reasons!”

Before you could argue back, he continued.

“Abby is a kid. She doesn’t understand the dangers she could be in, and you,” Mike met your gaze, “you think I don't notice how you look at me sometimes? Like I'm ruining your life? Like you hate me?”

You huffed, “I don't hate you! I just– I just want some space, okay?”

Mike scoffed, but you ignored him.

“I want to be able to go out at night, to have a job, and make money not only for us to have something to eat, but to buy things for myself too. I want to stop worrying so much about you!”

You took a long breath, trying to calm down.

“I want a normal life. A normal, relaxing life, Mike. Where I can make friends and go on dates without having to sneak out because you won’t agree.”

“Y/N–” he tried to interrupt.

“No!” you cut him off. “You think I don’t know who I remind you of? You think I don't know that when you look at me, you think of Garrett? You think I don’t hear when you tell Abby I look just like him?”

“That’s not true!” he shook his head, now seemingly hurt. “Look, I'm just trying to look out for you! For you and Abby. I'm your big brother–” he said, exasperated. And that was your last straw.

“We don't need you to protect us! Did you forget what happened the last time you tried to look out for one of us?”

A deafening silence followed. Mike deflated, his words dying in his mouth.

You looked at each other for a second before you realized what had been said.

“Fuck,” you exhaled. “Mike, I'm sorr–”

“Get out.”

“But–” You approached him, and tried to take his hand but he cringed, pulling away.

“Please, just…” he trailed off, not looking at you. “Just leave.”

You looked around, thinking of what to do. 

Something, anything that could change the situation you were in.

But of course, there was nothing to do, at least not until Mike had calmed down.

So you left his room, looked at him one last time, and closed the door.

You stood still outside his door, letting everything sink in. You were still angry, but you also felt guilty.

Using Garrett’s kidnapping as an argument during the discussion was a low blow. If there was a hell, you were fucked.

Running your hands through your hair, you approached the living room.

Abby was still sitting at the dining table, eyes fixated on her now-finished drawing.

“Abby?” you called, softly.

She didn’t react. It was one of those moments when she felt stressed so she wouldn’t acknowledge you– or anyone, for that matter.

You sighed, took your jacket from the coat hanger, and stormed out of the house.

You walked for a while, just following the river.

After a good fifteen minutes, you stopped. It was cold, and your jacket wasn’t warm enough.

You sighed in frustration, kicking rocks into the water, and finally decided to sit on the grass.

“Was it really that serious?” You thought. After all, even if it was annoying, Mike's overprotectiveness had probably saved you from a lot of trouble.

You ripped up handfuls of grass as you stared at the water.

“Yes, it is,” you said out loud. Blaming him for Garrett’s disappearance was shitty, but you knew your anger was justified. Mike couldn’t keep being like this.

Not with you, and not with Abby, either. He needed to understand. To learn.

But how would he understand and learn if you only told him about your frustrations after bottling up and then exploding?

It wasn’t fair to him, either. Mike would just feel like you’re being antagonistic.

Grumbling, you rummaged through your jacket’s pockets. The wind had started to pick up and you needed something to warm up.

You pulled out a cigarette pack and a lighter from the front pocket of your jacket.

You huffed. Mike would kill you if he found out. 

Lighting the cigarette, you took a quick drag and as you put the items away again, you felt something strange in your pocket. 

Frowning, you placed the cigarette between your lips and reached into your pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

Humming, you unfolded it without care, not remembering what it was.

You almost choked on the smoke.

It was a drawing from Abby.

She had given it to you a few weeks ago after you picked her up from school.

It was a drawing of you, her, Mike, and a little airplane toy. Garrett's favorite.

“God-fucking-dammit,” you said, putting the cigarette back in between your lips to avoid getting ash on the paper.

“Language,” a voice behind you said, and you jumped, turning around.

Standing there, with her blonde hair swaying slightly in the wind, was Vanessa.

“Great,” you thought.

Out of all the people you could have run into this situation, it had to be her.

You noted was wearing civilian clothes: jeans, a cheap-looking sweater, and a jacket. Her hair was also down. Very different from her usual everyday look.

“That’s bad for your lungs. You know that right?” she said, pointing to the cigarette between your lips.

You grumbled, turning to face the water again, and she took it as an invitation to sit beside you.

“I mean that,” Vanessa said, staring at you.

You took a drag and blew the smoke away from her. “I know.”

She hummed. “Does Mike know?”

You frowned, looking at your shoes while the cigarette slowly burned in your hand.

“There’s a lot of things Mike doesn’t know about me,” you answered, meeting her gaze.

You stared at each other for a moment before she spoke again. “Can I?” She said, pointing to the cig. You handed it to her, and she took a puff from the cig.

You smiled. “I thought you said it’s bad for your lungs. What changed?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes, blowing the smoke. She took another puff, then looked at you.

“Nothing has changed, it’s still bad,” and as she said it, she threw the cigarette into the water.

You gasped. “Hey, those are not cheap!”

It was her turn to smile then. “I know.”

You huffed. “Between this and Mike’s pills, I think you can be considered an environmental terrorist.”

Her smile faltered. “He told you about the pills?”

You nodded slowly, humming. “Mike tells me everything,” you said with a smile.

You paused, your mind returning to the night that he arrived limping and with several superficial wounds and scratches, and with a trembling Abby beside him.

“Almost everything,” you thought out loud.

Vanessa looked at the glistening water. “What makes you say that?”

You scoffed. “Come on. Something happened to him in that old pizzeria, and he won’t speak about it. Neither will Abby.”

You looked at her. She shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

“And I’m assuming you won’t, either.”

She cleared her throat.

“It’s…” She paused for a moment, thinking of what to say. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just something I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.”

You sighed, looking towards the water again. “Called it.”

You two stayed silent for a moment before you spoke up again. “How did you find me anyway?”

Vanessa sighed, rubbing her forehead with one hand.

“Oh,” you breathed out. “Of course.”

Mike had told her to find you.

“He's your brother, Y/N,” she said softly. “I'm sure he only wants what's best for you.”

You felt a twinge of annoyance.

"Yeah sure..." you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "He's always known what's best for me. Like when he convinced me to leave my job so I can stay home and be a housekeeper.”

Vanessa's brows furrowed. “He did?”

You sighed. “It's… more complicated than that, but… that's how it feels.”

A beat passed in silence.

“I know he's doing it because of Garrett,” you murmured. 

“Doing what?” Vanessa asked carefully.

“This. All of this…” You sighed. “Not letting Abby hang out with her new friend, convincing me to stay home and take care of her...”

She watched you intently, waiting for you to continue.

“I can't go out at night, he's constantly barging into our rooms, I can't date anyone,” you sighed, and she seemed to understand, her expression softening.

Slowly, Vanessa reached out to you, putting her hand on your shoulder.

"I understand that Mike can be overprotective at times, I can't deny that,” she said softly. "I know it must suck not being able to go anywhere or do anything without him always checking on you..." she sighs, looking you in the eyes empathetically. "But we both know he just wants to protect you, even if he’s doing it in the wrong way. He loves you dearly.”

You avoid her gaze, your eyes focusing on the grass underneath you.

“It's worse with me.”

“Why do you say that?”

You smile bitterly. “Because apparently, I’m the only one who looks just like Garrett.”

Silence.

“I–” She began but cut herself off.

“I just wish,” you continued, “he could just try to move on. At least now he's aware it wasn't his fault, but,” you took a deep breath. “I feel like he's still stuck trying to be a protector instead of just being our brother.”

Vanessa stayed silent, and you were grateful for that. You didn’t feel like hearing fake reassurances while talking about Garrett or his disappearance.

“Every time we try to talk about it, it just turns into an argument,” you whispered

“And why's that?” Vanessa squeezed your shoulder. You felt your heart flutter at the gesture.

“I guess… because we're both too stubborn to hear each other out,” you chuckled tiredly, running your hands through your hair. 

Vanessa opened her mouth, but you interrupted her.

“I fucked up today,” you turned to face her. “I kind of… blamed him for Garrett's disappearance.” 

Vanessa seemed shocked by this. Then she sucked in her breath between her teeth.

“That's–”

Your expression turned bitter as you felt your face flush in shame. 

“I know, you don't have to tell me.”

You hid your face in your hands. “He seemed so distraught, so hurt, I can't… I can't stop thinking about it.”

You felt your nails dig into your scalp. “I can’t stop thinking about the pain in his eyes, I can’t unsee the way he just… shrank.” 

Carefully, Vanessa rested her hand on your back, and when you didn't protest, she started rubbing small, comforting circles.

You feel a knot form in your throat.

“I…” you swallowed. “I remember it. The day he disappeared.”

A pause.

“I remember it so vividly,” you huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I sprayed almost the whole bottle of ketchup on my sweater. Mom guided me to the tent so I could change,” a shaky breath slipped from your lips, and you felt her stomach churn.

The dread, the fear you felt that day would never leave your system.

“Next thing we knew, Mike was running and yelling, desperate. You closed your eyes, the memories flooding your mind.

“Mom, Dad! Help, they took him! They took Garrett!”

You stayed with your eyes closed for a few seconds, as Vanessa kept rubbing your back reassuringly.

“Did you know I had a brother?” She began.

“Really?” You asked with surprise in your voice.

“Mhm,” you could hear her smile in her voice, “we used to be really close. He was always looking out for me.”

“What happened to him?”

Her hand stopped. You tensed up.

“He… disappeared. Many years ago. Just like Garrett.”

You pulled slightly at your hair. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…”

“It's okay,” she said in a solemn voice, but with a small, resigned smile on her face.

“Why are you telling me this?” You finally faced her again.

“Because you can never take your family for granted. You shouldn’t say hurtful things to each other, and if it happens, you should let it cool off and then talk about it, not run away.”

Oh, now she was scolding you.

“I didn't–” you cringed. “Mike asked me to–”

She giggled. Giggled.

“I'm not saying it only because of you. Mike needs to understand that you're an adult now, that he won't always be able to protect you.”

Your eyes lit up. “Will you help me, then? Will you talk to him?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, Y/N. You two need to sit down, talk, and finally start listening to each other.” She gave you a small smile.

You sighed, nodding. 

“Come on,” she said, standing up, shaking the dirt off her jeans, “I'll take you home.”

She extended her hand, and you took it without thinking twice.

Vanessa parked her car in front of your house, sighing softly before turning off the engine.

She looked at you, and after a few seconds, you met her gaze.

“You know,” she smiled, “I’m pretty sure you two can actually come to an agreement.”

You huffed, “That’s easier said than done.”

You pushed the car door open.

“Wait,” she said, holding onto the back of your jacket. You stayed still.

“I mean it, Y/N,” she gave you a soft look. 

“Just talk to him. No yelling, not arguing,” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “talk. Really talk…”

You stared at each other momentarily before she let go of your jacket.

“Hear him and… make him hear you,” Vanessa added, a whisper more than anything.

You nodded, climbing out of the car, and closing the door.

She lowered the window. “Good luck, I guess,” she smiled.

You felt your heart speed up. Was this really the end of it? Would she only speak to you when Mike asked her to? So she was just being nice, right?

You swallowed. “Yeah… Well.”

You felt heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Shame.

“Thanks for the ride, by the way,” you scratched the back of your neck, trying to get rid of the sensation.

“No problem.”

You nodded, and just as you were about to push the front door open, Vanessa called your name and you practically rushed to the car window. “Yes?”

Vanessa let out a breathy laugh and you almost melted on the spot. She opened the glove compartment and took out a notebook and a pen.

She started to write something down. 

“In case you and Mike keep having trouble…” She trailed off as she handed you the paper, which had a phone number written on it. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers. “If it doesn’t work out, you can call me and I can give you some advice,” she grinned at you. 

“And if it does?”

"Maybe we can go for a coffee, then?"

“I don’t like coffee,” you blurted out, feeling your cheeks warm up.

Vanessa's smile grew wider at your reaction and she chuckled softly. "Well, how about tea then? Or maybe we could just go for a walk instead?"

Her tone was playful and her smile was contagious, making it impossible for you to stay embarrassed for long.

You stayed silent, not sure how to respond. All you knew was that it was supposed to be cold outside at this time of the year, but you were sweating.

Vanessa shook her head, still smiling, and her playful tone turned into a sincere one. “We don’t have to if you don’t want–”

“I want to,” you interrupted her. “I do.”

She seemed to perk up. 

“I’ll call,” you said, without a doubt. “I promise.”

Vanessa gave you a soft smile before turning the car on, and slowly drive out of sight.

You sighed, turning to push the door open, and to your surprise, Mike was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, and Abby peeking at you from behind him, smiling.

He met your gaze, and against all odds, he smiled at you. “I guess we need to talk.”

You smiled at him. “Yeah,” you looked down at the small piece of paper in your hands and swallowed. “Yeah. We do.”

Mike sighed, gesturing for you to come inside.

“So you heard all of that?” You said in a weary voice, and Abby giggled.

Mike shook his head. “Maybe we should eat first, I’m about to pass out.”

Right, you still hadn’t had dinner. Your stomach grumbled.

As you followed your brother into the dining room, you had the sensation that maybe, just maybe, things would be alright.

A/N: Reblogs are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Reblogs are what keep the fandom going.

[rileyslibrary]

I’m rewatching succession and I can’t stop thinking about kendall roy. what about a prompt with ghost dealing with a partner who is a drug addict and is in recovery?

Hi reader! I rarely watch TV, and had no clue who or what you were referring to, so I did some research. Also, you didn’t specify what you meant by “partner” (in the army or real life), so I tried to incorporate a little bit of both. 🍫

Warnings: mentions of drugs, addiction, disease, death of a relative and dark humour/making sarcastic comments of a very serious situation below. DNI if you’re uncomfortable with any of the above.

“What are you thinking about?” Ghost asks as he takes a sit next to you at the roof of the the truck.

“Y’know, stuff.” You reply, gazing at the horizon.

“Drug stuff?” He asks.

You slowly turn to look at him. For a man who has been trained to be a tactical machine, he is anything but tactful in his interactions with humans. Sure, you’ve seen him feed stray dogs and pet alley cats while you were on patrol together, but when it came to people, he had the social grace of a clown at a funeral.

“Well, I do now, lieutenant,” you reply sarcastically.

“Well, shit,” he shrugs and lights a cigarette, “didn’t mean to remind you.”

“Don’t worry,” you reassure him, “it’s always on my mind.”

“Talk to me about it.”

He wants to play therapy now; great. Every time he saw you like this, lost in your thoughts, he came and talked to you, persuading you to express your feelings. Things which you considered to be native to this man, but he was trying his best, even if he was heavy-handed in doing so.

“Sometimes I feel lost,” you explain, “without it.”

He nods, indicating that you continue talking. You sigh and look up at the night sky.

“Like, I know I’m doing the right thing, Simon,” you continue, “but I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“You’re a lot of things, love,” he says, “good things.”

“Oh?” You tilt your head to the side, “last time I remember doing something good was not stealing from an old lady because I thought she needed the money more than me.”

“See?” He says and opens his arms, “that was a good thing.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, “very Dalai Lama of me.”

You both stay silent for a while, and he turns to you.

“I know why you feel lost,” he says.

“Enlighten me, Lt.”

“You’re both strong and fragile at the same time,” he explains, “your will is strong, but your mind is playing tricks on you.”

“My mind is a mess.”

“I know,” he agrees, “which is normal.”

“Ha! Normal says the guy who walks around with a skull mask on,” you spit, and he looks offended.

“Hey, love, we talked about this,” he says, “don’t want to distract the enemy with my moneymaker.”

He gestures at his semi-covered face, and you both chuckle. Unfiltered comments and offensive remarks came out of your mouth quite often now that you’re in recovery. The good thing was that Ghost was a master at turning insults into banter, which was quite helpful in making you reflect on your words. He was very understanding and patient for a guy who was trained to be tough and emotionless on the battlefield.

“How do you know so many things about it?” You ask.

“It.” He mocks, “don’t talk about your struggles like they’re fucking Pennywise.”

You let out a long exhale. “Jesus, man,“ you exclaim, “how do you know so much about addiction and recovery?”

He looks down at his dangling legs. “My brother,” he explains, “went through the same thing.”

“Fuck,” you sigh, “hope he’s okay now.”

“He’s no longer with us,” he replies and faces you, “but you still are.”

“I’m so sorry,” you say, and he thanks you. He had never opened up about his family before. You knew he had issues but nothing more than that. Perhaps that’s another reason why he’s so supportive of your journey. He wants to see someone make it out alive.

“Seriously though,” he continues, “what you’re doing is huge. You’re fighting against a disease, and that takes a lot of courage and strength.”

“Disease?” You scoff, “you make it sound like I have cancer or something.”

“Addiction is a disease,” he reminds you, “it’s not something you choose to have, just like cancer. But you’re fighting it.”

“Easier said than done,” you mutter.

“Nothing worth having comes easy, love,” he says, “and what’s better to have than your health?”

He’s right. You’ve been so focused on the struggle that you haven’t acknowledged your progress. You’ve been sober for six months now, a huge accomplishment. It hasn’t been easy, but with Simon and your therapist’s support, you’ve been able to stay on track.

“Thanks, Simon,” you say, “for everything.”

“Anytime, love,” he says and puts out his cigarette, “now let’s get back to base; Price’s expecting us for the meeting.”

“Can we stop at a convenience store before we go?” You ask, “I’m thirsty.”

“Sure,” he says, “what are you getting, a Coke?”

You laugh and gently punch his shoulder. “Yes, lieutenant,” you say, “A zero one, of course.”

[i-am-grell]

I’m Back! Throw Anime at Me!

If you’re new here, I suck at starting and finishing series and making choices, so I let Tumblr pick which anime I’ll watch next.

I’ve just returned from vacation, and have the freedom once again to include longer series - and long long series (description of how that’ll work below with the propaganda) - in these polls!

As always, propaganda* (*rambles about series I haven’t finished and how little I know about series I haven’t started yet, etc) below the poll. You’re welcome to reblog if you wanna bully your followers into voting for your fave. Other people’s followers and assorted Tumblr users: you don’t have to know me, follow me, or like me to throw anime at me. You don’t even have to like anime if you just wanna press a button. Go wild.

Propaganda:

How the long long series will work in my polls:

We all know some anime series are hundreds - even thousands - of episodes long. When it comes to these polls, rather than straight-shotting through these beasts, I’ll break them up by however the series is naturally divided (by season or arc - whatever that series has chosen). If there’s a shorter season/arc, it may be combined into the next one (for instance if one arc has 16 episodes and the one after has 30, I’ll watch 46eps for that poll option, since that’s pretty manageable. We’ll play it by ear, folks). I’ll always be specific in the propaganda about how far I’ll be watching for that particular poll and update my pinned post with my progress for that specific series after. The series may not show up in back-to-back polls for the sake of taking breaks and not burning myself out on the same thing.

Rambles about the options:

Blue Exorcist - I watched everything available circa 2014/15ish, but now there’s more? Apparently? I guess? Cool! I’ll probably rewatch what I have seen since it’s been a while and proceed from there.

Free! - I watched ISC and ES as they were airing. In sub. And y’all know I prefer dubs (of course I went back and watched it when there was finally a dub). But while everything past Eternal Summer was airing, I was in my busy period… 😬 Still have to finish it - but to be clear, I will be marathoning everything, starting yet again with Iwatobi Swim Club. Also I absolutely don’t mean to influence the vote but the longer Free! stays in these polls, the more 50% Off! quotes I get to use. If you ever see “backstroke for days,” assume I’ve run out.

Zombie Land Saga + Revenge - This has been in the polls before and I’m sure many of you have seen my propaganda for it before. TLDR: Love it, wanna finish it, TERFs aren’t welcome here 😌

Bungo Stray Dogs - I think about Dazai at least once a day and I haven’t even watched this show. I have 1) seen pictures of this man 2) listened to anime tiktok simps talk about this man. Do with this what you will.

One Piece - There’s a quote from an episode of Um, Actually… where Mike Trapp says he hasn’t read Wheel of Time because, while he’s always meant to, it “feels like nerd homework.” One Piece is my “feels like nerd homework.” For the purpose of this poll option, if chosen, I will start One Piece by watching the first arc.

Mashle - Anime OP make brain go brrr. Also from what I understand, it’s regular guy brute-forcing his way through Legally Distinct Hogwarts.

[pandasmagorica]

First watch: The Miracle of Teddy Bear episodes 1-3

A huge ka bun krap to @lurkingshan for pointing me to The Miracle of Teddy Bear finally being posted to YouTube. I'm three episodes in and I'm hooked!

There's a great balance between humor, sweetness and darkness. I understand this series has a bittersweet ending, and I'm ready for that. I would have been surprised based on the first episode, but they're definitely setting things up to earn that ending.

The following has some mild reveals but I don't think they'll ruin anything. I'm putting them after the cut just in case.

The main couple is kind of an enemies to lovers trope - Nut can't stand Tofu but tolerates him because he believes it's his fault Tofu is in the condition he's in, an apparent amnesiac who can't remember how to behave in society, as well as (Tofu suspects) Tofu looking exactly like Nut's high school crush. Tofu doesn't help the situation by his failure to out himself as Nut's teddy bear turned human, something he could easily prove by relating their past together, such as the movies they've watched or that the family dog tore Tofu's leg off and Nut's mother Na sewed it back on.

The part that's hardest to deal with is Nut's ongoing anger at his mother. The mother is not well and hallucinates, so it's clearly a stressor between them. But so much for the Thai cultural respect for parents - his intensity in expressing that anger to Na was shocking to me and I rather imagine it's even more shocking for Thai audiences.

The obviously budding May-August side couple is hilarious. Watching the May character flirt with his "Uncle" is a trip, as is the August's parents shipping him at dinner. I have a feeling we'll need that comic relief as the darker elements of the series intensify.

We also get comedy relief from the various inanimate objects in the house who can talk to Tofu.

On the down side, subtitles are distractingly sloppy: Thai for "Wait!" becomes "Waiting" and I think that's happening for other one-verb commands. They seem to be randomly choosing third-person pronouns, even within the same sentence, switching back and forth between "he" and "she" and "it" for the same person, even for first-person (I know that sometimes the same pronoun is used for first and third person in Thai, but that doesn't work in English), and it's sometimes confusing enough to me that I'm not sure who they are talking about. "That's not how you do it" becomes "That's not how it happened." Something, I don't know what, became "Perception." (Yes, as a sentence.) "P'Nut" becomes "Nuts". "Na" (Nut's mom) randomly becomes "N/A" (not applicable). They mix "kiss" and "hug" as if they meant the same thing. There is plenty more mysterious nonsense that I have no idea what they are talking about. Plus they're burned in to the video, which is not my favorite way to experience subtitles, since it takes away my control of how they look. I can overlay them with my preference, but the double subtitles are distracting over and above the quality issues so I'm putting up with the burned-in ones.

As a side note, the story idea reminds me of the classic queer play Stray Dog Story by the late Robert Chesley, in which a dog becomes human, he and his human have a night making love, but then the human is killed in a gay bashing and the dog turned human is left to make it on his own. It is a very dark play.

Okay, here's the cut. Or continue with episodes 4-5.

There's some dark stuff brewing, though, as Tofu seems to trade consciousness with a comatose activist who was rescued after being left on an active railroad track to die. I'm clowning this to be what makes the ending bittersweet: if Tofu is getting his human form by taking it from the activist, then if Tofu were to remain human, the activist would remain in a coma until he dies. So Tofu has to go back to being a teddy bear so the activist can come out of the coma. I do think Nut and Tofu will become lovers before Tofu goes back to being a teddy bear, thus bittersweet.

I am also clowning that Nut will be aware by that time that Tofu is his teddy bear come to life, and that it will come out by accident rather than by Tofu intentionally coming out. They may even become aware of the link between Tofu and the activist and that Tofu needs to go back to being a teddy bear to revive the activist (although that would imply they can figure out the how part, something Tofu clearly doesn't know as of the end of episode 3).

If you've seen the entire series I respectfully request that you do not spoil my clowns.

Tofu gained consciousness as an inanimate object long before the activist was put into a coma, so it's a bit of a plot hole that human Tofu's losing consciousness other than by sleeping wakes up the activist. Logical or not, this rule of the series universe is set up clearly and I expect to see it play out more as the series progresses. It would be particularly sad if Tofu has to give up his inanimate consciousness when he goes back to being a teddy bear.

And it's clear that, with what already looks like an attempted murder, things are going to get very dark during the series.

I do see Nut starting to soften toward Tofu, even as Nut likes to keep his gruff exterior.

The real reason for Nut's anger at his mother comes out at the end of episode 3.

As for the side couple, there was a tropey fall-kiss, but at least they waited until the third episode by which time I was already hooked on the series. Plus the May-on-August flirtation had already been going on for at least two episodes, so it wasn't as bad as some past fall-kisses I've seen. Definitely not abandoning the series over this one.

Continue with episodes 4-5.

[ecargmura]

Dog Signal Episode 18 Review - The Mangaka's Deaf Dog

After three weeks of emotional punches to the gut, this episode delivers another emotional one, but in a more light-hearted tone. This episode was so great. I was surprised that the client of the day managed to solve his issue on his own without consulting the trainers earlier. Despite that, it was a very compelling story of discovery.

Haruyuki is a struggling manga artist who moved to Tokyo to achieve his dreams. His first serialized story got cancelled after a while and he has been struggling to put out something new for a while now. His editor always tells him his stories lack emotions, which is shown from how withdrawn he is. His only companion is Chataro, his Shiba Inu who is the cutest thing ever with his dopey smile that can brighten anyone’s day. Haruyuki’s story is about how pets can change people and bring out the best in them; this is definitely shown when Haruyuki realizes that Chataro has become deaf and they both discover new things about each other and themselves as they both try to deal with this sudden change in lifestyle.

I love that Haruyuki imagines speech bubbles as if he’s thinking about what Chataro could be saying to him. It’s definitely showing the creative side in him—the hidden talent that is waiting to be discovered by himself. His main issue is that he’s socially awkward, so he’s not good with understanding emotions. Chataro is full of emotions and energy, which is why Haruyuki is so dedicated to his dog; I love the fact that he found his dog as a stray and he just followed him home one day. Chataro definitely just saw him and claimed him as his human. Later in the episode, the speech bubbles disappear because he is troubled over Chataro’s loss of hearing; not only that, he also notices the change in Chataro’s mood as he stopped smiling since his hearing loss.

Haruyuki is one of those rare dog owners in this show where he’s very kind and patient. He doesn’t try to force Chataro to do things he’s uncomfortable with and tries his absolute best to communicate with him in other ways, eventually resorting to hand gestures and lip movement. Even when his dog bit him due to being startled, he doesn’t give up on him. I know for a fact that some dog owners would be super dramatic over the change in their dogs, but Haruyuki blames himself for troubling him and tries to imagine what his dog is feeling over his sudden silent world. The change manages to help bring him out of his shell as he learns the importances of emotions and manages to get serialized!

I think the most impressive thing about Haruyuki is that he doesn’t go to Proud Dog at first, but only went towards the end. He first met Miyu when he and Yuko were out on a walk with Tiara. When he saw Chataro, who doesn’t like being around other humans and dogs, Miyu gave his business card to Haruyuki, who then finds it in his pocket towards the end of the episode. I do like that even though he technically fixed his issue, he still went because he wants to know more about what he can do for Chataro. Seeing Niwa be impressed was a first! Though, I’m sure Haruyuki still need some consulting over Chataro’s minor issues like his habit of waiting for food and barking at other dogs, but that will most likely be done off-screen.

I’m always amazed by the choice of guest voice actors for this show. This episode has Miyu Irino and Junichi Suwabe as Haruyuki and Chataro’s speaking voice. If you’re a long time anime fan, you know these two are big names. I was legit shocked to hear that they casted these two. Miyu Irino did an excellent job with the reserved, gloomy side of Haruyuki and the loud, confident side in the second half. Since Miyu is voiced by Kensho Ono, seeing their characters interact felt like a Seraph of the End (where they played the leads) and A Silent Voice (where Irino played the MC and Ono played the best friend with green curly hair) reunion! Heck, the scene at Proud Dog with Niwa, Miyu and Haruyuki is basically just a Seraph of the End reunion as Niwa’s voice actor Suzumura voiced Crowley. Most of all, I did NOT expect Suwabe to be voicing the DOG. The way he used a cuter voice to voice him got my heart all fluttery. I wouldn’t mind watching an entire anime with Suwabe voicing all the dogs. I love it when voice actors play a totally unexpected character.

What do you mean there are only two episodes left? What do you mean Dog Signal is going to end in two weeks? It’s going to be hard to part ways with this anime. It’s easily a hidden gem and a potential all-time favorite. The list of my absolute favorite animes doesn’t usually have much changes, but Dog Signal, a very underrated and obscure anime, could easily make a change in that list. What are your thoughts on this episode of Dog Signal?

[bonesandthebees]

hi bones!! i have recently read what you have written so far of through a glass divine!! i have a lot of thoughts so i will talk about the two most recent chapters.

i actually adored the writing at the end of chapter 8 when tommy calls wilbur by his name. its super in character of him because imagine you've just met this guy and you ask him his name and he keeps insisting that he doesn't have one and that he really isnt a person. and i think glass!tommy sees how fucked up this is and it's shown earlier that he's a caring person. i mean in the first few chapters he freaked out when he found out wilbur had gotten hurt, even if it was just a few little scratches. glass!tommy just kind of wants to help, but in the end he's just a kid with his own issues too and he doesn't exactly know how to do that. he's seen wilbur as a person since the get go even if wilbur himself didnt. that's the reason he didn't tell the others wilbur's name because he's not some secret to be passed around or a shiny crystal ball he is a person with free will and thoughts and he wants to treat him like a person because it's the least he deserves. i think maybe glass!tommy has some experience with being seen as something rather than someone being in the "scary death cult" and branded a terrorist rather than someone with admittedly messy motives and a good heart underneath it all.

also glass!wilbur pitching in that you know what yeah the others should kill him? fantastic. i love how shocked aimsey was by the way because wilbur still doesn't view himself as a person. i love the part where niki and jack jump to his defense and he is just so freaked out by it. he's been trying to figure out why everyone is being so patient with him especially jack and niki and in the end it's again because they value him as a person and understand that he has his reasons he has feelings. while yes wilbur was being a pain in the ass it is understandable to some degree and they acknowledge that they would do the same. and they never once say attacking tommy was okay but they do understand where he's coming from. glass!wilbur has been so conditioned to not recognize his own emotions and motives and has been taught time and time again to be a vessel for someone else and to finally have someone acknowledge his agency and understand it? yeah of course that's scary and it's brilliant writing!! the part where tommy gets mad at tubbo for comparing him to a stray dog? cinematic masterpiece by the way. also having chinese satellite on the glass playlist? AMAZING CHOICE. i can't wait to see where wilbur ends up on this journey!!

-🌙

aaa hi!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the end of chapter 8! it felt super in character to me too. it's exactly what you said. tommy is a caring person, and he sees how fucked up a lot of the pythian traditions are, so he wants to help. but he's not going to go about it in the best way because, again, impulsive teenager that's part of a death cult. but he's seen wilbur as a person this whole time. him finding wilbur's name wasn't meant to disregard his personhood, which is why he doesn't tell it to the others either. he doesn't want to keep affirming the narrative of calling him by his title instead of a name, so yeah in tommy's mind it was just kind of his only option. but he's going to try and not be a dick about it. at least as best he can.

oh yeah aimsey was playing a very interesting role in the argument because while they defended tubbo, they weren't really on his side. they don't want to kill the pythia and they were horrified when he agreed with it himself. they were only defending tubbo because tommy shoved him, and they didn't want things to get physical.

niki and jack my beloveds!! yeah they've actually spent a lot of time with him alongside tommy, so they jump to his defense because they both have a better idea of what he's actually like as a person compared to most of the deathlings. they also both know they're bitchy people who would probably react the same way he did to the entire situation, so they just get it.

wilbur is terrified that he's finally being perceived as a person and not a deity. the fear of being known and all that. he's not used to that acknowledgement in the slightest and it's just scary!!

i'm so glad you're enjoying so far! the tubbo dog line I actually came up with on the spot while I was writing and i was thrilled with how the scene played out in my head

(also, love chinese satellite as a song so much. I especially think the lines "Pretending to be myself / Why would somebody do this on purpose / When they could do something else?" fits glass!wilbur so much. ty eli birdfeet for suggesting it to me)

[locketsvault]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

!! please properly read through this entire post. I put rules and what to say when requesting and most requests I’ve been getting do not listen. I understand it can be a lot, but it makes it harder to write when you don’t give me anything to go off of. !!

. . . . . ◟੭

who I will write for…

.ᐟ anime ˎˊ˗

꒰ attack on titan ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ bungo stray dogs ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ black butler ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ naruto ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ tokyo ghoul ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ full metal alchemist : brotherhood ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ jujutsu kaisen ꒱

.ᐟ games ˎˊ˗

꒰ death stranding ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ the arcana ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ resident evil ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ genshin impact ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ honkai star rail ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ final fantasy vii ꒱

.ᐟ tv/movies ˎˊ˗

꒰ the sandman ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ the untamed ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ word of honor/lord seventh ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ howls moving castle ꒱ ﾒ ꒰ heaven officials blessing ꒱

. . . . . ◟੭

what I will write for…

I’m comfortable writing smut, fluff, angst, head cannons, reactions, scenarios, drabbles, analysis, storyline and non storyline.

I'm comfortable writing for minorities, such as lgbtq+, race/religion (to the best of my abilities), and physical/mental disabilities, as well as mental health.

I don’t mind writing horror or anything along the lines of it. I am okay with writing gore, violence, and anything along the lines of it. especially if it’s in canon!

what I will not write for…

I will not write noncon, abuse, bestiality, incest, nsfw underage, or extreme kinks such as gore play, piss play, or scat.

I might not take any requests involving major character death depending on my mental health, or it may take a while.

. . . . . ◟੭

how to request…

be clear about what you specifically want. if you do not know what you specifically want, clarify that in the request. if you want me to take full control over a request and write it only as I want please make that clear!

please specify the gender or sex of the reader! I write mainly am trying to write for male reader, gender neutral (to cover all gender identities), and lgbtq+ gender identities. if you do not specify it will automatically be gender neutral. I do not write for female reader.

specify if you’d like a headcanon, scenario, analysis, drabbles, etc. if you don’t know what you want again, just lmk!

specify the character or world you wish for me to write for!

here’s some examples…

“Hello! I’d like to request a headcanon with xiao and lyney from genshin with a male reader, where the reader is an electro bow user and fought in the war in inazuma. Thank you!”

“I really loved your … work, what if … happened with levi instead and …? Can you make it fluff, maybe with them cuddling? Gender neutral reader please!”

how not to request…

“can I get general headcanon with attack on titan men?” (asking for something without guidance, direction; it’s way too vague).

“Hi! Can I get a relationship scenario with juuzou?” (asking again without gender).

. . . . . ◟੭

general information…

I mentioned this in my blog rules but I struggle with mental health issues and it can take me a while to answer requests. If it not being done immediately bothers you then maybe do not request. Also, due to some mh issues, I struggle with socializing and reading people, which is why I really appreciate being clear about requests.

If I lose interest in a fandom I will put here, the masterlist, and their respective list that I am not writing for them atm. If I pick back up on it I will probably write for them again!

If you do not see a characters name in the masterlist I do not write for them, same goes for fandom. I'm pretty good at updating masterlists to stay up to date with my writing.

. . . . . ◟੭

I want to make clear that if you request I will automatically assume you read through this. If you’re not clear please understand I will write it however I want and I have the right to! I know this seems strict, I promise I’m friendly and verryyyy open minded! And I cannot wait to see your requests and I hope you enjoy your time here!

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main hub ✦ masterlist ✦ rules + notes

[moonlight26posts-blog]

Permission to repost from a shelter staff member who works every single day to firsthand try to save lives. She is one of my heroes:

"I was going back and forth about making a post like this for awhile, but I think Spot (yes, it’s meant to be Spot, but oh well) is a good example to use for this. Shelters and rescues get blasted a lot for not “saving them all,” or “euthanizing healthy animals,” but A LOT of the time people don’t understand the concern for safety that comes into play for behavioral euthanasia. (Disclaimer: pause here as Spot is not “at risk” of euthanasia, take a breath, calm down, read on).

Anyone I’ve worked with knows the pride I take in handling aggressive animals, especially fearful ones. I have never had to fight a dog so hard to get him out of the kennel as I did with Spot. There was a lot of lunging, growling, and snapping before I used a karunda bed to corner him (so there was a physical barrier between us since he was “resisting” being leashed) and lassoed him. Once out of the kennel, he calmed down some, warmed up for some food, and after some time we attempted to muzzle him-which he immediately snapped at. At that point with the behavior seen, Spot was placed on a control pole for extra support of things went south, while also being on a leash, and being fed wet food all for a vet to be able to vaccinate him with vaccines he’s likely never had. That’s 4 people being used to get one exam done. Spot was started on behavior medication to try and ease the transition of being in a shelter, since as a stray we don’t know what his background is.

Today, when I went to get him out, Spot only snapped at the leash once when I went to get him out. While he’s improved in a short amount of time, his behavior still needs to improve to determine his placement. With that said, Spot made a lot of friends today, though he still clearly has trust issues with people (to be fair, same). Spot still needs a formal behavior evaluation-which is still a couple days away-but until then he’ll still be socialized to TRY to get him more comfortable in a shelter setting.

There are still two big things I really want to resonate with people, that behavior evaluation is going to tell if Spot is going to be able to remain in the shelter setting, as the safety of people need to be taken into account when placing animals. Another point, people don’t seem to understand shelters are not meant to be long term placement for animals. Animals can deteriorate in a shelter, and it is not a pleasant thing to see or watch, which is why many are attempted to be placed as quickly as possible. Spot has shown he is still fearful, and aside from some offensive aggression at the beginning, he has shown improvements, but still has not shown his true colors. Staff will continue to work with him, as they try with EVERY animal, but there’s no guarantee he will be considered safe to adopt out.

While overall shelters have gotten better support from the public, but there are still people that don’t understand that people that work in shelters give their all to every animal. Even those that don’t make it out, our hearts break for them. We all get attached, and we all are broken hearted again, and again, and again; but we keep going because there will always be more that need us. We are not the ones that fail them, we will always try to save them, but some are too far gone to turn around.

So for Spot and every other animal in a shelter, we’ll keep going."

Please share this post far and wide, the person who wrote it wishes to remain anonymous, please be grateful for her insight and honor her wish. Thank you!

[songmingisthighs]

[15.18] dad!seonghwa

⇀ as a person, he's gentle and understanding. but as a dad, he knows when he should put his foot down. but how can he when his child has his eyes and your charm?

⇁ it's fluffy dad!seonghwa y'all

Seonghwa stood in front of the sink in the kitchen, pausing mid scrub to look at the clock mounted on the wall just above the fridge. The clock read 15.18, and he was beginning to get concerned.

"He should be here by now," he muttered to himself.

Convincing him that his ready, little Park Sungchan begged Seonghwa that since he's in the 1st grade now, he's able to walk from his apartment's gate from the carpool with his uncle Yunho and 'cousins' Yujin and Yeeun, up to their apartment by himself. It took a lot of begging, promising, slight crying, and a buttload of pouting from both Sungchan and you to eventually break Seonghwa.

Though right now, he was sure that his son is dead in a ditch somewhere. Neverminding the fact that he was only 3 minutes late.

But the sound of the front door opening broke his thought and the sound of small pitter-patter and shoes being put away broke his thought and a sudden sense of relief washed over him.

As Seonghwa finished up washing the dishes, he called out to his son, "Sungchan, is that you?"

The little boy froze mid-walk across the living room towards his bedroom, "uhh... Yes, daddy! I'm home!" he answered, voice slightly quivering. He instinctively held the bag in his arms closer to his body as he adjusted the straps of his school bag.

From his standpoint, Sungchan could see Seonghwa has his back to him, meaning he wouldn't be able to see what he's doing.

The bag in his arms began to rustle and he immediately panicked. His tiny hands patted the bag gently as he spoke in a hushed tone, "Shh, shh, it's okay! I'll get you out soon!"

"Who are you talking to?"

Seonghwa's voice startled the boy, making him jump slightly which pulled the bag down slightly, revealing a small puppy in his arms.

Both of them stared at one another, Sungchan as he waited for his dad to react, and Seonghwa in shock. The puppy, however, was perfectly content nestling itself in the arms of the little boy, now being able to see the whole world as the bag no longer hid its face.

"S-Sungchan, what is this?" Seonghwa asked, slightly hoping that he was hallucinating.

"Uh... A puppy? Have you never seen one, dad? It's quite common here, especially one that looks like this and-" Sungchan rambled, trying to find a way to change the subject or even distract his dad.

Seonghwa's eyebrows furrowed as he stared his boy down, "Sungchan..." he called out in a reprimanding tone.

Immediately, Sungchan stopped his rambling and whined. "I had to, daddy! I saw him every day in front of my school and I always feed him! Look at him, daddy, he's so cute!" Sungchan whined, hugging the puppy tightly in his arms, looking up at Seonghwa with, ironically, puppy eyes.

Despite his son's attempt to butter him up, Seonghwa was determined to not fall for his son's antics. "How did you even bring him here from school? What did your uncle Yunho had to say?"

The little boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Uncle Yunho said "I'll grab the bag, you put the puppy in. This is gonna drive your dad insane,"," he answered without much thought.

At the revelation, Seonghwa felt his left eye twitch, realizing that Yunho actually had a play in the stunt his son pulled. He's sure that he's going to have to have a talk with him after he dealt with the issue at hand.

He has his hands on his waist, ready to firmly tell Sungchan that there is no way that they're going to keep a stray dog for a bunch of reasons. Those reasons might mainly gravitate towards the 'cleanliness' issue, but it was still an important point that he had to remind his son.

But when he saw the way Sungchan looked at the puppy and how the puppy seemed to connect with the boy in such an affectionate way that is so heartwarming considering how short they've known one another, he couldn't find it in his heart to reprimand or separate them.

Seonghwa took his phone out of his sweats and took a picture to send to you. He explained the situation so that you wouldn't be surprised when you came back home from your trip back home to your family. There was even an additional caption saying, 'the things I do for the people I love. You're going to have to help take care of this because I'm blaming you. This blackmailing-using-his-look gene screams you.'

The man of the house took a deep breath before he crouched down in front of his son, "Do you really want to keep him?"

Hearing the question made Sungchan perked up. He looked straight into Seonghwa's eyes, nodding eagerly.

"Do you know the responsibilities of having a puppy?" Seonghwa questioned.

"Yes! I have to take care of his pee, poo, and food," Sungchan listed out, trying to remember the things his uncle Yunho told him back in the car.

Seonghwa nodded in agreement, relieved that his son is actually slightly aware of the responsibilities that entailed keeping an animal in the house. "Don't forget walks, teaching him obedience and tricks too, we can't have a dog who's not gonna listen, right?" Seonghwa smiled at Sungchan in defeat, "I already have your uncle Wooyoung for that," he added, muttering under his breath. "What's that daddy?" Sungchan asked, tilting his head as he heard his uncle Wooyoung being called.

With an awkward smile, Seonghwa decided to brush it off, acting as if he didn't even say anything.

As Sungchan took the puppy out of the bag, Seonghwa automatically inhaled sharply. The only thought in his head was how the dirty puppy is about to touch his freshly vacuumed floors.

Immediately, Seonghwa reached forward to grab the puppy in his arms, standing up as his son whined for his dad to give him back the puppy.

"He's dirty, sweetie. Why don't we go and get him cleaned up? We can also pick up some things for him like his bed, harness, some food," he persuaded the boy.

Sungchan's eyes widened and it sparkled with giddiness, much like Seonghwa's eyes. He immediately ran to his room to put his backpack down.

When his son was out of sight, Seonghwa let out a long sigh. He lifted the puppy to his eye line, "You're one lucky little creature, you know?" he grumbled. Though a smile appeared soon on his face as he gazed at the annoyingly adorable little puppy.

Soon enough, Sungchan zoomed out of his room and ran past Seonghwa, taking his arm in his far smaller ones as he began dragging him out, "Come on, daddy! Let's go!" Sungchan urged, still trying to use what little strength he had to 'drag' his dad.

Seonghwa could only chuckle at his son's eagerness.

For some reason, he felt like he wasn't going to regret letting his son keep the puppy.

[arvandus]

TW: Animal Loss - This is long and detailed because it’s late, I’m alone, and I need to process my grief.  So please beware - there are very raw emotions in here.

My babygirl is gone.  I’m so heartbroken.

Her epilepsy finally got her.  Back to back seizures for over thirty minutes.  By the time we were finally able to find an emergency vet that was open and get a friend to come over and help my husband take her there, it’d been over an hour.

They stabilized her, but her prognosis was not good. She had a very high fever for an extended period of time, and likely brain damage.  Add on that we’ve been slowly watching her struggle more and more with balance, have less energy, and she still struggled with her anxiety - her epilepsy/mental condition was likely worsening, her environment was changing due to us getting ready to move, etc.  She didn’t run and play like she used to.  She had a hard time jumping up on the couch or even just getting into her dog bed.  She didn’t enjoy walks the same way she did before.

She loved to snuggle.  And she followed my husband around like a shadow.  But we knew her quality of life was slowly fading, and with this last major seizure event, we knew it likely would never get better, if not be permanently worse.

We decided to say goodbye.

My son doesn’t know yet. He’s asleep in his bed, and I’m in the living room in tears, as the aftermath of what transpired lays strewn across the floor.  I should clean it up, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m going to have to tell him tomorrow. I’m going to have to explain to him that he’ll never see his dog again.  He knew she was sick, and he’s asked about death and we’ve talked about it before.  But he’s never experienced it.  This will be his first.  I’m glad he wasn’t awake to see her suffering.  But I also wish he’d been able to say goodbye, to understand why she won’t be coming home.

This little house feels so empty now.  All the little memories of her life here with us are strewn around the home.  Her basket of dog toys, her dog bowl, the brand new dog food we’d just had delivered.  I can’t help but think...if this little house of ours feels this empty, how will it feel when we finally move into our bigger house?  It has a big yard - much bigger than the one we have now. We were so happy because we know she loves to run.  But now that’s going to feel empty too. Her toys are at the new house. I took her there to visit it, but she didn’t want to play. She just wanted to hop up into our laps and cuddle.

We got her when she was 10 months old.  She’d had a bad lot in life. She was found as a stray, and she had behavioral issues due to past trauma.  We’re certain she was abused, may have possibly been a bait dog (a dog used to rile up fighting dogs before a fight); her canines were filed down, and she was terrified of people (except for us...she was always good with us, even from the beginning).  If you touched/grabbed her collar, she would yelp, nip, and cower. She wasn’t potty trained when we got her.  She would growl and bark at people she saw across the street. The sound of my coughing always scared her.  Just me, not sure why. Maybe it was a woman who had abused her.  I’d comfort her, and usually she liked that - helped remind her she was safe.  Other times, she’d prefer my husband, who she developed a very strong attachment to.  That was okay, too.  It was what she needed.

I trained her as best I could with the time I had.  I taught her tricks, which she picked up quickly.  She learned shake, touch, sit, down, stay/wait, off, come.  She knew ball and rope and would tell them apart if you told her to get one or the other.  She loved to play with her tetherball in the backyard, booping it with her nose and smacking it with her paws.  She did her doggy puzzles in record time, quickly getting all the treats out.  I took her on walks and had her sit and gave treats every time we saw another person across the street.  She never got comfortable with strangers, but she did stop barking at them.  Would even sit and look at me, waiting for her treat.  She eventually trusted me enough to let me clean her ears when she began getting chronic yeast infections in her ear. She got so comfortable, that she’d come seek me out, stand there, and stare at me forelornly until I took her into the kitchen and cleaned her up and gave her a spoonful of peanut butter.

Despite her trauma and her anxiety issues, she was good with my son.  Always good to him.  She was curious about him when he was a baby, would come snifff him and check him out, would lay down next to him.  Never bit him. Gave a warning nip once or twice when he crossed a boundary, but never so much as scratched him.  She helped me teach him about how to respect a dog, how to understand that they’re animals and we have to be careful.  How to read her body language.  He was learning how to do her tricks with her; she would do touch with him and he loved it.

She was imperfect - I’ll be the first to admit that. She didn’t get along with everyone, and not everyone liked her. But she got along with most, which was more than we could ask for, considering where she came from and what she struggled with.  She wasn’t an easy dog to have, but we loved her, and I know we did our best for her. She was sweet, she was smart, and she was beautiful. I wish she could have had a longer life.  I wish we could have taken one more walk, or gone on a hike once the weather cooled down.  She was seven years old, too young to leave us.

I’m going to miss her so much.

[primergon]

Hello i was wondering if i can request an TFP match up! ☺️

Im a ENFP, female, 5’5 and a scorpio

i go by she/her they/them im very talkative and interactive with people even with people i don’t really know im very good at starting conversations.

personality wise, i’m very kind and caring but i get irritated/angry very easily if poked the wrong way, i’m very ditsy and say stuff i never meant to say which cause issues, also very dramatic at certain stuff like shows and things i enjoy, im also very curious about things and i’m always try to learn more about people.

things i love are; cats and dogs, Drawing, doing makeup, drawing and writing for my friends, i also love coffee.

i get very clingy with my friends i enjoy hugging and hand holding (platonically). i also curse a lot when i don’t mean to. i try my best and help people around me but never really take care of my own mental health issues.

A/N: Hello anon, hope you are well! Thanks for sending your ask <3 I am indecisive so I think I'll pair you up with TFP Ratchet and Shockwave!

TFP RATCHET

01| Although Ratchet is more quiet and reserved personality-wise, he is attracted to your playful and lively nature. You insisted on befriending him, your outgoing nature leading you to start conversations with Ratchet. Even if he initially showed no interest in returning the gesture, he started to warm up to you. The doctor finds himself missing you, catching himself disturbed by the silence. Your chatter would usually keep him occupied, a background noise he enjoys to listen and engage with during work. Ratchet would nag you whenever you don't visit often ( he says he's worried that the location of this base may be compromised but everyone knows it's because he wants you to keep him company. )

02| Ratchet likes how curious you are at everything, he is inquisitive by nature. It warms his heart to see you playing with the children and the animals you pass by on patrol. Your genuine curiosity towards Ratchet's past made him open up to you. He's touched that you were willing to listen to him the same way he listens to you. As much as Ratchet scoffs at your dramatic retelling of the most recent episode of your favorite show, he's actually interested. You were surprised that he remembers every detail. " Don't just end the story there, what happened to your favorite character ?" " Wait, you were listening? So you do care !"

03| Arguments were inevitable, yet they don't happen often. You may share playful banter a handful of times, but serious disagreements were usually avoided through open communication. Both you and Ratchet are more emotionally attuned than others, and you both tend to say things you don't mean in an argument. No one likes to fight with their partners, so you both always make sure to find a solution to it. While Ratchet brings creative solutions and commitment to fixing problems, you offer a more flexible attitude that helps dissolve tension. Ratchet likes how you can make him smile whenever he's in a bad mood.

04| Both you and Ratchet can often forget to take care of yourselves. So you both take it upon yourselves to look out for another. He's not exactly clingy, but he will return gestures of affection when you're both alone. While your cursing may bother Ultra Magnus, Ratchet isn't phased, not when he likes to mutter curses under his breath on a particularly rough day too.

TFP SHOCKWAVE

01| Shockwave isn't completely detached from his emotions as everyone says. Cybetronians aren't robots, they can't just turn off their feelings and conscience. He has only suppressed them to the point of numbness. Yet, this doesn't mean he doesn't feel. He's curious about this growing attraction he has towards you. As cruel as it sounds he initially saw you as an experiment and he didn't notice your presence much. Until he starts hearing laughter from the corridors. He'd catch you chatting with the Vehicons and sharing quips with Knockout. He finds you strange. He finds you intriguing.

02| Shockwave is a logical thinker and prefers to discuss issues by addressing facts; while you generally prefer to address the emotional aspects of an issue. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you complete one another. There is balance in your work, and that is more than enough for Shockwave to start valuing you. Eventually, he doesn't only see you as an equal, but he sees you as someone special to him. It's been a while since he explored anything romantic towards anyone. At times you'd argue because of his bluntness, it would lead to a lot of miscommunication. However, you were more than happy to take the lead. Even if the gesture isn't outwardly noticeable, our scientist is also making efforts.

03| He likes to stare. At first, you think it's creepy, but then you realize he was admiring you. It took you a while to catch on when he doesn't have a face. His glowing red eye may be intimidating, but you don't miss the subtle show of love he has towards you whenever you pick up a stray cat to cuddle it. You weren't allowed to reveal your location to anyone but you were allowed to write letters to your loved ones ( after much convincing on your part. ) So he watches you neatly fold the paper into an envelop to be shipped back home. Shockwave says he's watching to supervise you so you won't compromise the Decepticon cause or reveal any sensitive information on your letters, but you once had caught him longingly hold the paper across his fingers.

04| He doesn't understand why you like to drink so much coffee when it tastes bitter. Yet he knows it makes you productive, so he would ask several Vehicons to fetch you some lattes. It was a funny sight, yet you are always thankful for the delivery after a long day in the lab. Shockwave would hold it out to you gently, making sure that your order is right every time. Your fingers would brush and he'd cradle your palm tenderly. It may be subtle, but coming from Shockwave, it was more than enough.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx

[kunikinnie]

Hi Hana!! Congrats on 300 followers!! When I saw your event, I admit I was buzzing with excitement I couldn't help it, I love the idea of it ><

Anyways, for your event, I would love to request Dazai please with his short story Thinking of Zenzo, it's one of my favorite short stories of his <3 You'll be able to find the translation at @/bsd-bibliophile 's website, the short story is bundled with other short stories in Self Portraits

Thank you so much for sending this! I'm glad you like the prompt of this event HAHA I wasn't too sure of how I'd go about this since Dazai-sensei and BSD Dazai strike me as very different in character, but this what I tried to do HAHA I really felt like I just copy-pasted it but o well

Wet Snow based on Thinking of Zenzou (善蔵を思う)

300 Followers Event Masterlist (still open for requests!) Summary: Dazai explains to Atsushi why he hasn't shown up at the Agency recently Genre: mild existential angst, character study? Word Count: 3.3k Warnings: some profanity, perhaps mental health issues, unedited, probably ooc A/N: I’m willing to guess that canon BSD Dazai didn’t really have a normal childhood, that he was a stray dog from the get go. But here I decided to give him a normal head start in life because I just wanted to be able to stick to the OG story/prompt of this fic ehe. Contains very minor references to Dazai-sensei’s novelist daughter who I made to be BSD Dazai’s mother here, since canon BSD does like flipping relationships here and there. Given the content of her writing, it makes sense anyway so yeah. Also contains minor references to a character from No Longer Human and some stuff from Notes from the Underground by Dostoyevsky (although it's already in the title lol)

Sorry for not telling you sooner, Atsushi-kun, but I’ve been out these past couple of days because of a reunion. No, it’s not about to happen; it’s already done. Just going to wait it out a bit longer until I feel like going back to work. You know how it is.

You can explain that much to Kunikida-kun for me, right? Aww, thanks a bunch! I’m lucky to have such a kind and understanding kouhai.

You might be wondering why I’ve decided to contact you instead of Kunikida-kun directly. Well, you could say that I’m hiding from him. I promise it’s because I’m reflecting on what I’ve done to him like any other good man would. Don’t doubt me on that, will you? I’m just preparing my soul and ears before receiving my due punishment. Who doesn’t repent when one sins? But as I am a sinner I’m bound to stumble and make the same mistakes again.

If he hasn’t figured it out already and complained to all of you about it, then let me explain what I did - it was an honest mistake, I swear.

I was lounging in Kunikida-kun’s place when someone knocked on the door. No one knew I was there - not even the owner himself - which made me a bit wary about confronting anyone at the doorstep, especially if it were a deliveryman who needed his signature. But I looked through the peephole anyway and if it was someone I can deal with by myself then I’ll gladly open it. It was an older woman in trousers and a loosely-knitted cardigan - probably someone hoping to sell something. Alright, I decided, I’ll open the door for her.

“Excuse me sir,” the elderly woman said, her voice just as grating as the wheels of her metal cart. “Would you be interested in any of these?”

There were potted plants of various types in her wagon. They were the plain and boring type of ornamental plants that only plain and boring people would bother to maintain, so naturally I had no interest in buying any of them. But being the gentleman that I was, I played along this grisly old woman’s charade.

“Why does a lovely woman like you sell these woeful little things?”

“It’s for our retirement home. A little cash goes a long way for old folks like me, don’t you think?”

Retirement home? Alright, I’ll believe it - that’s what I told myself. But no matter how much I think about it the conclusion I arrived at was the same: it’s a scam.

Aside from her faked aging voice, her clothes were too new and modern compared to what a local grandma would wear. She also looked too energetic and full of life to be among the old folks who stay in retirement homes - if you ask me, Kunikida-kun has a better chance of fitting in with the jaded pensioners than she did.

Not to mention the very fact there wasn’t a home for the aged nearby at all. The closest one I could think of was at least two or three train stations away. Catching exhausted homeowners at this time of the day must have been part of their strategy as well.

“Won’t you spare a little money for charity, good sir? They’ll bloom soon - wonderfully bright little flowers. Some color to liven up your apartment.”

I could have said, “oh no madam, this isn’t my apartment, thank you for the offer,” but the way she pushed her voice and body toward me had somehow convinced me to indulge her further.

“How much would a little money be, dear madam?”

I don’t remember exactly how much it was, but it was more expensive than three consecutive meals at the best seafood buffet near the port. This is definitely a scam; how could those shabby bushes be worth that much?

I was about to refuse her when I received a text message. It was from Kunikida-kun.

Once I drop these files in my apartment, I’m coming over to yours to kick your ass for skipping work again today.

Oh no, he’s coming.

For some reason, I decided to hand over some cash. It was probably much more than what she had mentioned since she had muttered something, but I was in a hurry to save myself and chose a random pot. “Keep the change.”

She might have bowed low with a bright smile or victorious smirk - whichever it was I wasn’t able to notice. After I hurriedly shut the door and dragged the thing somewhere near the window, I planned my escape and prepared my belongings.

Only then did I realize the wallet I took money from wasn’t mine.

I know what you’re thinking: “Dazai-san you intentionally paid with Kunikida-san’s money because your wallet was empty!”

That is somewhat true. But no I did not intentionally choose his wallet over mine. I was just so used to having his wallet in my coat that I didn’t even think about it! Naturally, mine had barely anything in it, so my brain must have subconsciously chosen the one with enough cash in it. It’s as simple as that. It’s an honest mistake, I tell you!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to clear that up with him yet. I planned to tell him the day after (since his anger would have significantly subsided by then) but something unexpected happened that very night of my blunder.

I bumped into one of my old childhood friends - although I suppose calling him a friend is a bit of a stretch.

I’m not sure how he recognized me. I’d left my hometown during middle school, and I hadn’t been particularly close with anyone at all. Perhaps it was because I bore so much resemblance to my aging mother’s face that those who lived there would have instantly made the connection.

“We’ve been wondering what had happened to you, you know?”

Despite his jovial greetings, I could tell he was criticizing my appearance. You must have thought the same things he was when you first saved me from that river, didn’t you? Well, I’m used to it. It’s not exactly what “normal” people look like, right? Bandages and a shaggy coat - normal people of my age wore clean business suits like this friend of mine did.

“Say, why don’t you join us this Friday night?”

“Friday? So soon?”

“I know it’s quite the short notice, but there’s a reunion scheduled for our middle school batch tomorrow. I’m sure the others would love to see you even if you weren’t able to graduate with us.”

A part of me knew it was just a formality on his part; he wasn’t actually hoping I’d agree. He happened to see a familiar face and wanted to confirm his identity in order to satisfy his curiosity and be able to share with his girlfriend “guess who I saw today!”

But the other part was intrigued - excited, even. As far as the world was concerned I was an ordinary child in an ordinary school in an ordinary town before I suddenly vanished - before I met that devil dressed in a white coat. No one in that part of the country knew what I had become and had preserved the image of the mischievous imp that had been the greatest source of my mother’s headaches.

Could I really become the man I had once envisioned myself to be, even if just for one night?

Without thinking, I had accepted his offer and asked for the details of the event. It wouldn’t be held in my hometown but in a relatively larger city nearby. You don’t need to know exactly where I grew up, but just know that I’m from the North.

And as a child of the North, I’m more familiar with the harsher winters than those of Yokohama. My thickest coat wasn’t nearly good enough for its chill, nor were any of my formal suits in any proper shape or form.

I’m sure that you’re thinking, “you don’t have to worry about it too much, Dazai-san. Your handsome face makes even the dirtiest rags shine!” Why, thank you Atsushi-kun! I am quite flattered. But I studied in an all-boys’ school, you see, so I needed to make the extra effort to look nice.

Why all the effort? Now that I think about it, it wasn’t necessary at all. No - it was flat out a stupid idea. I had spent money to rent the finest coat and even bought a new suit (simple but of good quality and still fashionable). It cost more than I could afford, so all my meals for the next few months will all appear on the Uzumaki’s tab.

But to appear as someone successful doesn’t necessarily require exceptional clothing. I could just wear what I usually wear to work, have it ironed out a bit and simply claim that I had just come from an important mission. Forgive the frazzled appearance, but despite my busy schedule I did my best to attend. Inflated half-truths are my specialty and a small gathering such as this with people I’m sure I’ll never meet again wouldn’t be much trouble for me at all.

I must confess that I simply wanted to wear something like that. When I was in the mafia I did not care at all how I looked, but now that I had no money the vanities that plague all men ailed me. I worried about what these ordinary folk would think of me and I had hoped to at least prove that I had indeed become a king rather than a stray dog lurking in the streets.

If only I could describe that feeling when I had finished dressing myself up. It was only a simple black turtleneck under a dark brown suit and maroon overcoat, but I had felt like I resembled an actor like you thought I was. Maybe it was the hair - I pulled it back a bit - anyway, I think I’ve been rambling on for too long.

Now that I’ve gone this far, I see I’ve made another stupid decision: telling you so much about myself. Forgive me, Atsushi-kun. I don’t know why I’ve been going on either. But I suppose now that the story has been laid out you wish to know its conclusion. Alright, then. I’ll finish what I’ve started.

Needless to say but since I couldn’t calm down from the excitement turned anxiety, I didn’t even bother showing up at work. Why has it turned into anxiety? That, dear kouhai, is what you call the effect of being slapped hard in the face by reality.

I could go on about my delusions about impressing my batchmates, but it’s just not as easy as it is. You see, there’s at least one of them who could see right through me. No matter how convincing my lies were he never fell for them and understood that they were nothing more than the grand illusions of a master conversationalist. My preparation could have been for nothing. Heck. It could have even made things worse. For sure they’ll be telling friends and their friends’ friends about the youngest son of my mother’s suddenly revealing himself after a decade. But if that one person manages to ruin everything, then they’ll only ridicule me for the fool that I am. Never mind if they find me intimidating or pitiful or something else. I just don’t want to be laughed at.

I don’t find shame in being a detective for the Agency at all, just to be clear. In fact I’m very proud of my profession and the people I work alongside with. It’s just that I’m afraid that they’ll find out the name Dazai Osamu. Yes, that’s right. It’s not my birth name. It’s a name I chose for myself when I was picked up by that devil, and so it shall forever be tied to him no matter how hard I try. If you’re wondering why I don’t use my “real” name now… let’s just say that that name is forever tied to my mother and the family she tried so hard to raise by herself. I can’t bring myself to burden her any further.

Anyway I had planned to present myself as something else. Something more normal. And so came the awaited day. I had taken a train to that city in the morning and arrived late in the afternoon. By then the streets were already buried in the snow. Its coldness held a warmth I hadn’t expected at all; it was inviting and familiar like the father welcoming home his prodigal son. Yes. I suppose that was why I had been so adamant yet anxious about this gathering. I thought I could make her proud.

The site they chose wasn’t too shabby nor too extravagant either. It was appropriate at best, but I’d be lying if it didn’t have a certain charm. Very old school Japanese sort of building - it felt like I was a writer attending his very first socials.

For all the intelligence gifted to me, I haven’t the slightest clue what it meant to be a normal human being in times like this. Years in the agency and things like this aren’t new at all, yet as I was about to present myself as “myself,” I felt like I had opened a window in me somewhere I wasn’t aware of and strangers could peek in and see through it clearly. It was strange; I hadn’t felt like that in who knows how long. But that’s alright, it’s manageable. As long as he doesn’t show up.

But he did.

I was busy exchanging pleasantries with a few of those who I at least held the slightest memory of when he appeared. Whatever illusions I fed them they gobbled up like mutts and I thought myself to be in the safe zone. But as soon as I saw his face I felt weak, the fear I thought I had lost long ago had resurfaced, and I just wanted to run away and hide. Ah, my grand efforts have come undone so easily!

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Shuu-kun.”

He had this monotone way of talking that was painful to hear. It wasn’t that his emotions were unreadable or that he was being sly and dishonest. Rather, it was that he was so honest about what he felt that there was nothing to read in between the lines. It is honesty that I love yet despise at the same time. For one thing, it builds trust. On the other hand, it cuts wounds deeper than any other psychological weapon possible. But I suppose that is the nature of the truth.

I had felt threatened at his cordial greeting that my mind had been scrambling to find a good reason for being untruthful. Without second thought, I downed my first glass of expensive sake.

“Same here,” I said in as friendly a tone as possible.

The others were talking amongst themselves, occasionally asking me or him questions about nothing in particular. But no matter where the conversation went I could feel his eyes on me.

I didn’t dare look up to meet them since I was afraid of what I’d see. Anger? Disgust? Pity?

Agh. I just wanted to get out of there.

But the taste of such fine liquor had glued me to my seat. The warmth I saw in the cold snow that tickled my skin was now flowing in liquid form beneath it. Before I knew it, I had drunk beyond my capacity. You know what I’m like when I’ve gone too far with the alcohol, right? That’s not a farce, I can tell you that much. But for the first time the liquid had loosened my tongue to an extent farther than what I had intended, farther than what I had thought I could go.

“You haven’t talked much since I came,” said he, the bane of my existence. “What about your own business? How’s it going? I’m sure someone as bright as you has made it quite far ahead.” Everything he said had annoyed me. Each and every word, each and every syllable in that oily voice had triggered something in me.

“Shut up.”

I didn’t know why I had said that. I didn’t know why I had thought of saying it - maybe I didn’t - but as quickly as his smile fell, so did the energy in our immediate surroundings.

“I think you should have some water-”

“I said shut up, asshole.”

There was a multitude of other words and embarrassing things I threw at his direction then to no one in particular that night. The shamelessness I had been cursed with then had brought me more shame now than ever before, and I’m afraid I’ve sobered enough to know not to reveal anything further. I still hope you don’t look down on me like those idiots did, okay, Atsushi-kun? I’m sorry if I’ve betrayed your expectations, but this is who I really am. I can at least be honest about that. Then again, I’ve willingly bared myself like this to you so you’re the one with the right to judge me. I don’t ask for your understanding, only forgiveness.

After my sharp tongue slashing the hearts of innocent men at an innocent gathering, I stumbled out of the venue alone and fell face first into the snow below me. It was cold. The snow wasn’t warm at all.

But I wasn’t totally wrong either. Snow, when warm, turns wet. And wet snow had clung to every inch of my shivering body like the guilt and shame that I’ve been carrying since the day I was born.

I’m not sure how I made it back to the hotel, but maybe some good Samaritan was passing by (or for some reason, one of my former classmates) and took pity on the fallen, misshapen form. I might have sneered at their faces and played at their patience with taking me to my room, but all the same I was dragged back into reality. My hangover has never been worse and my throat was dry. The moment the fog in my mind had cleared, however, the sins of the past night had come back to bite me. Who knew a single affair could bear this much damage?

But I only have myself to blame. I wasn’t acting rationally. I wasn’t acting normally. I had manipulated and lashed out at the man who was the first to really see me for who I was and accepted me regardless.

I’m still here in the hotel room, ruminating on my sins. See? I told you I really was repenting. Did you believe me? If you didn’t, I don’t blame you. But if you did, you’re a scary one, you know that?

I’m sorry for burdening you with all this. As your mentor, you should be the one doing the rambling and I the listening. This is really just proof that there’s something wrong with me, no? I can promise you that I’m trying my best, though. I’ve made that same promise to someone important too and I haven’t failed it yet (at least I think I haven’t). Thank you if you’re still there, listening.

I just received a text from Kunikida-kun. I’m 100% sure it’s about the bush. Did you tell him already, or did he figure it out himself?

…ah. Well, I wasn’t expecting that.

Do you know what he said? He said he’s thankful for such a steal. Steal? Where? I didn’t steal anything. Turns out the shrubby little bush were hydrangeas, due to bloom this spring. How did he know that? Ah, how could I expect any less from our resident nerd! Hmm. If he’s that grateful, I suppose I can get away with a few more days to myself.

So that woman wasn't a fraud after all. Interesting. But I believe someone once said that people who make a living selling things tend to lie even if they don't need to. That must be the case, and a burden has lifted off my shoulders.

Now I can rest easier, armed with a small flame in my heart to endure this harsh winter. Fate sure is merciful, isn’t she?

[a-very-bored-blogger]

headcanons/matchups for childe and dazai!

A special matchup request from:

@attista !

okok then could i request a bungou stray dogs & genshin impact matchup ?? personality wise : im VERY chaotic and can get easily hyper, to the point where my friends can’t rlly control me. sugar just does that to me :(. i’m also very logical and follow my brain over my heart, even if it means it’ll hurt me or somebody around me - i struggle with empathy anyways, so doing something logically is best in my mind. alongside that, i can be pretty blunt if something needs to be said. i will sugarcoat it sometimes, but most of the time, i’ll just say what’s on my mind if it’s to help the person !! even with all of that though, i’m kinda awkward and shy with new people, i just don’t know how to act around them and don’t really speak a lot in groups. hobbies: i like to play video games and to read when i wanna relax, walks with my dog are also something i absolutely ADORE. recently, i’ve been getting into art and writing a bit more as well :) ideals: i believe that my friends should not go above me, as selfish as it sounds, they’re not family and if it’ll make me suffer, i’d rather not allow that. however, i would never ever take somebody’s significant other or date somebody my friend has said they have a crush on. i know how it feels so i’d rather just help my friend that way. murder seems fine if it’s necessary, you can’t really stop it in the criminal world. however, i do not condone it. my mbti is intj, but i’ve also received intp a few times ?? not sure how that works. appearance: i’m a 5’3 (160cm) female with shoulder length brown hair, which will be dyed a magenta soon :). my eyes are blue and my skin is pale as a sheet of paper. i weigh around 108lbs (49kg) and have a kinda hourglass body shape ?? my pronouns are she/they and i’m bisexual with a male lean ! hope i did that correct :)

I ship you with (Genshin Impact): Childe!

A romantic relationship between you and Childe would involve: ~fights! childe always love a good fight and he would fight you physically and mentally for fun

~he'll also try and help you try and help you with your empathy issues

~he'll introduce you to more people but he'll try his best to read your body language to see whether or not you're uncomfortable

~teases you a LOT about your height difference with him and likes to carry you from behind when you least expect it

~likes to have witty battles with you and takes you to art museums and will buy you gifts with historical meaning behind them

~his favorite type of date is whenever you win mario kart against him (or any other video game) because he just loves seeing a smile on your face and you getting cocky around him

~he will MATCH your hyperactivity. wanna stay up late all night and just jump on your bed? no problem he will do that right away! he will even grab marshmellows and do weird chubby bunny challenges with you

~he admires your honesty and the reasont to why he loves you so much is because of how you're not afraid to tell people the truth

~he sees your hourglass figure so gorgeous and likes to put his hands on your waist to admire them

~he will go all out encouraging you to get magneta hair, as well as try and get hair products that is good for dyed hair

~he understands your ideals pretty well and find it hella convinient especially with his line of work

~loves headpatting you, cheek kisses, as well as snuggling with you on bed

~will LOVE to adopt a dog with you

~if you're living in an apartment, then he'll probably get you a cute toy poddle that won't stress you out too much to take care of

~if you live in a house, corgis, shiba inus, golden retrievers, and etc, anything you name it, this man has done his research!

~loves dogs as much as you and will not hesitate to take you on dog cafe dates!

Dazai

a romantic relationship with dazai would include: ~cuddles! he would love cuddling with you especially with the 20CM height difference, where he would be the big spoon, as well as his legs crossed holding you within his arms

~he would also love to debate with your logic and see how witty and charming you are

~dazai would know when to match your hyperactivity energy and when to help you calm down (maybe a snack, cuddle session or something)

~he would love to go adopt a dog with you but if you live in an apartment, he would dress up as a dog as a joke (just like what he did at WAN!)

~he would help you open up with people but you can signal him whenever you don't feel comfortable with new people

~he would take you to library dates whenever you wanna relax, and take you to art museums if you guys still have time

~he will take time off the ADA just to follow you (in case he feels like you are being followed) because this man CARES a lot about you

~dazai tends to get a bit protective with you because the last person he cared for died when he wasn't watching them

~dazai finds your ideals way too convinient as his line of work sometimes find situations where murder is inevitable and sometimes even necesarry (but he had been trying to evade situations where casualities are as little as possible)

~loves your honesty and love how you can be straight with people without beating behind the bush

(that's it~ sorry i didn't write much, you can text me whenever youw ant it longer!!)