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Life is so fucking annoying right now. I have a job and am doing great in school, as well as a loving boyfriend. Everyone says I am on top of the game from the outside! I am on my way to be getting a fucking internship at my first year.
Yet I'm severely unhappy. I do not wish to exist anymore most of the time..i can't enjoy my life because I genuinely find it so difficult enjoying things I used to. I overthink about my weight and only think about food, and find binge eating, then purging as my main routine.
I try my best to be healthier. But I wish that I was unhealthy just so people can notice that I am unwell, mentally and physically. I try my best to be better, and yet I find it so difficult to find friends and to talk to people my age because it's so difficult to strike a conversation.
I feel like dying most of the time. I don't see the point of living anymore. There is no sense of creativity. I claim I am lonely and yet I get scared of talking to old friends, scared of them getting overly disappointed at how actually depressing my life is.
I don't even know what to do. It's difficult to find interests. It's difficult to find new things to love. It's difficult sticking to the things you love when you're such a boring person that can't even focus or stick to something you like.
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🍉Watermelon ╳ Miku
Original design by @kaatokunart 💘
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Paint me like one of your Sharran girls
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some strawpage sketches these past few days
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ABSOLUTE PEAK TV SHOW I LOVE CREATURE COMMANDOS
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