#i know they'll taste so good

[ikram1909]

Oh I just found out Almería is the first team to officially drop to Segundo? It's party time then every tongue that raises against Gavi shall fall 😁😁😁

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[000marie198]

The trailer of The Glassworker is here!

This is the frst ever Pakistani hand-drawn anime movie. And it looks so good! Very excited to watch it :D

Since it's a local movie, I can't wait for this to be the first thing I watch on the big screen!

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

[gender-euphowrya]

the absolute vicious shit people think they have to say whenever the topic of 'picky eaters' comes up ESPECIALLY when it's about children is just sickening

[kittychicha]

Hi ! I’m sorry, I hope you accept asks from strangers. I just discovered your tumblr and am also very new to lakorn and dramas in general. Do you by any chance would have any recs of good wlw shows please ? Your gifsets are amazing you seem to have very good taste !

hiii first of all thank you sm you're so sweet 🥺 im flattereddd gotta say i would not trust my taste that much its really all over the place 🫣 but i'll leave some wlw shows/movies for youu keep in mind that since wlw is unfortunately not such a big genre most of these are super short or very low budget but we love them anywaysss

she loves to cook and she loves to eat: suuuper sweet slice of life about two neighbours who get together to eat addressing also all the expectations that get put on women by society.

sf8: the prayer (ep1): a caregiver robot falls in love with the daughter of her elderly patient.

sf8: joan's galaxy (ep 3): the world is divided between rich people who can afford healthcare and poor ppl who cannot and die young from contamination to the enviroment. (START WITH THIS ONE JUST TRUST ME. if u gotta watch 1 thing from the whole list its this. bring the tissues.)

GAP: the typical intern dates the CEO but make it lesbians.

sleep with me: a radio host who gives love advice to her listeners falls for one of the contestants who comes to claim a price.

fragrance of the first flower: two women who separated in high school reunite after many years and realize the spark they felt back then is still present. (they dont end up together which pissed off a lot of people but i enjoyed this, dont mind a sad ending if its done right)

fantasy of the girls: the high school theatre club does romeo and juliet, the girl that plays juliet starts having feelings for her co-star.

alice: crack of season: girl in love w her high school bestie.

the serpent's song: gay nun kitty chicha.

the substitute: the lead actress in an action movie and her stunt double fall in love.

couple of mirrors: a novelist befriends an assassin. (it's like super censored so its "friendship" but i liked the whole plot)

the married woman: gotta admit that the ending did piss me off a looooot but we gotta mention it bc 85% of this was gr8

love tech: an app that controls everyone's love life including who they should date, and when should they break up.

farewell song: a band falls apart due to unrequited love, but they decide to get together for a farewell tour. (they tried to sell it as a straight love triangle AND YETTT its all ab the lesbiansss no one cares ab that dudeee we're here for MUGI AND NANA 😍)

condo barista architect: an architect falls for a girl that runs a coffee shop.

schoolgirl complex: a high school senior falls for their new club member who is known for being unreliable. (on the same note a very similar japanese movie is blue)

aaand i do have more on my review page <3 but i think these ones stood out the most to me. bc then there's the whole genre of youtube wlw like shakeshoulder, cheezefilm, 75°C, legend of yun qian / legend of yunze, am i the only one with butterflies, lily fever, girlfriend project etc like if you start going down this path you'll find a lot lol though they are usually just ads with a wlw plot but fun to watch anyways?

[stoertebeker]

Where's this post with the transphobic parents saying "this is our beautiful daughter" and the daughter looking like *picture of house from house md* because that's gonna be me this evening ✨

[wereshrew-admirer]

:..)

[c0nes]

[mashmouths]

oh "the house that built me" by miranda lambert we're really in it now

[caterpillarinacave]

Well, you suppose, no point in hanging around their home, not unless you'd wanted to search the place, but the unfamiliarity with your environment and its odd creatures makes you hesitate to be left alone, so you join them on the creatures as they ride into town, sitting behind the older, friendlier person, the path from the hut takes you past the trees and onto a road, it looks like asphalt similar to your world which explains why you didn't think it odd before when you first went into town, though now you're curious about why they have it if they just ride these creatures, you observe the woods and can see a variety of trees, all looking autumnal, you find yourself wondering about the structure of the seasons around here, just how different is this world anyway? The walk is slow but pleasant, leaving you far too much time for thinking, the two you ride with chat amicably, though you can't determine the topic, you've resisted the urge to check your phone valiantly up until now, conserving the battery, but you've decided a sleeping phone still loses its charge, so you might as well fiddle around with it before the inevitable strikes, as it powers on you are surprised to find that the battery is actually at full power, as if you'd left it charging rather than turned off, but after a moment you really can't be bothered to care especially since you're already maxing your brain space putting one foot in front of the other as is, what's one one more oddity to the shenanigans? Still no service unfortunately, you flick open the camera and take a look at yourself, a little tired, a bit messy, but stunning as always, you flip the camera around and take a photo of the younger rider, looks the same even caught on a digital screen though, you can't say you're disappointed but you were kinda hoping for something more just for the heck of it, the two look at you curious and you show them the picture, the older one seems excited and pulls out a black box about the size of your palm and shows it to you, gesturing between your phone and it, you stare confused, the older one passes the box to the other and with a put upon expression the younger takes the box, holds it out in front of themself, almost like...a camera? They hold the box pinching a corner and the other hand pinching diagonal to each other and then pull, the box breaks apart into two triangular pieces, between the two pieces thin silvery strands appear and then solidify into an image, an exact reflection of you and your fellow rider, it's a picture, they hand it to you and close the box, putting it away, the photograph feels like a soft fabric, it acts like it too allowing you to fold it, on the other side is an image of the younger person who took the photo in the same pose as when it was taken, you have no idea what to do with this information, but luckily you guys are now riding into town so you tuck the photo away and refrain from overthinking it.

The town looks as it did before, the architecture is odd, not in that it looks horribly strange, just in that it isn't what the town you were from looked like...you are very knowledgeable on architecture of course, but it's about here your narrator fails you, suffice to say, the buildings are building shaped, taller than the structures from your town, the people seem to appreciate multiple stories more than your town did, and the rooftops are more sloped, perhaps this environment gets a lot of rain comparatively, the riders stop at what you would guess is probably a downtown sort of area, you didn't really see much of the town or its people in your panic before so you enjoy observing here, the people meander freely going about their day, if it weren't for the unfamiliar language and other minor changes you could honestly forget you were in the midst of some other world, you all climb off the backs of your creatures, the friendlier one goes to put them away, when they get back they say something to the younger and then shoo you both away indicating that you two should stick together while they take care of some errands, feeling a little wrong footed you follow the younger person around, they enter shops, clean and organized, they feel like local shops at home, the younger wanders with you in tow, they don't seem to be buying anything, between shops you notice a group of kids, unlike all the adults you've seen they all have bright colorful hair, including colors unnatural in your world, pinks and greens and blues alongside your standard blondes and redheads, you wish you could ask why all the adults have dark hair, if it was a fashion thing or a natural aging thing or if the children dye their hair maybe, but that's a complicated topic for how little you can communicate. The two of you enter another building, it reminds you of a thrift store, everything seems randomly placed on shelves, less organized, there's writing you take note of but can't understand, on the shelves are many items which you don't recognize, but as you sift through a basket you find a hair brush, just a plastic bristled brush with some brand name you can actually read, it looks so odd sitting there among the box of long spiky sticks, so you pick it up and head to what you presume is an employee or something at the back near a counter to ask where this came from but alas, you still don't speak the language and they unfortunately do not know what you want, they do take the brush though and tap it to the counter, a square appears on a screen you hadn't noticed and the employee stares expectantly, you're hit by that one feeling of being left at the cash register when you aren't the one paying and realize that's because you are exactly in that situation, before you can embarrassedly turn and walk away, your companion walks up and taps a space beside the screen which glows and the square turns to a circle before fading away, the brush is handed to you and you both leave, of course you refuse to be impressed or flustered, you're sure if any of them saw how tap to pay worked in your world it'd be pretty confusing too.

You inspect the brush but find nothing interesting about it, as the two of you finish wandering you end up back where the creatures were left and settle in to wait, you figure your hair could use a brushing and get to work, your companion gives you an odd glance but you pay it no mind, at least until you look down and find a streak of blue in your hair where you just brushed, confused you check the bristles but they seem clean, yet your hair is blue, you put the brush away annoyed, you feel a headache coming on, instead of brooding you pull out your bundle of berries feeling hungry, you inspect them each carefully remembering how they tasted before and pop one in your mouth, immediately your headache disperses and you feel less hungry and tired, you put away the berries and go back to waiting, once the older person comes back with a cart of boxes they hook one of the creatures to, you all head back to their place, on the way the friendlier companion hands you a black box which you recognize as the camera like item, indicating that you should keep it, you guess they got it for you while shopping earlier and you accept it bemused but thankful, when you all get back you help unload the boxes and when you're all done you're offered a place to stay, you aren't sure for how long they mean, but you have a feeling that understanding your predicament they mean quite some time, they show you a smaller, yet still cozy hut off to the side of the main living house with what you can easily identify as a bedroom and bathroom, not having anywhere to go you accept for the night and enjoy an evening meal with them before going to bed, but as morning approaches you have to decide what to do next, do you plan to accept their offer to stay longer?

(Feel free to expand on your choice either way. :) )

Yes.

[kedreeva]

Watching a post on FB about chickens not eating a food their owners got them, and people telling this person "just don't give them more until they eat it" and "they'll eat it if they're hungry enough" and thinking about how if someone asks about a toxic plant in their yard these same people will swear chickens "know what's good for them" and "they won't eat stuff that's bad for them." And somehow these two things live together in their heads with no conflict. Well which is it? Does your chicken know the feed is bad or can they not tell when things are good or bad for them?

I went through several feeds looking for one my birds actually liked that I also liked. The one they're on now is sound but they also seem to really enjoy it. They don't anymore, but they used to dig/sort through chows, spill a bunch, only eat it when they really had to. That's miserable, I think. What a miserable existence, to be expected to eat food you dislike every day with no control over it, no ability to change it. And it's deemed okay, because you're not willing to die over it so you're just being picky.

If your fowl are avoiding eating a feed, maybe it's not a good feed or maybe they don't like it. Maybe try a different one and see if you can find one that's decent but also tastes good. Try pellets vs crumble vs mash. This person was feeding mash (a powdery food meant to be served wet) dry and it had whole grains in it the birds were picking out. Of course they're going to pick out the whole grains and leave the dry powder behind. I would, too. It's not hard to give them some water with their chow. I do it near daily with crumble and the birds lose it, they love that stuff. It's so easy. It's such a little thing. Sometimes I just wish I could shake someone through a computer screen until their teeth rattle.

[featherymainffins]

Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.

[nkogneatho]

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘

—a/n: ngl i cooked. overcooked even, so imagine some of the nastiest shit, this has it all. if i studied this much in my exams i would have a higher CGPA. anyways. hex codes are given. hope you like it.

—cw: dick+pubes+balls+cum analysis (kill me pls), monsterfucking in sukunas, creampie and breeding, never heard phrases from my dicktionary, not proofread plus it's 4 am i am half asleep

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

code: length: #ffe8d6 , tip: #f2aab7

We all know it. King of long dick. okay but no fr he has the longest dick in jjk. but let's get to the details. so size?? a whopping 7 inches. but you know his dick does this thing that when it gets hard, it curves slightly so hey!! maybe the true size is 7.2 or something. about color...his cock has the same color as his normal skin tone but as it approaches to the tip, it falls under a blushing pink gradient. and god his tip is so pink when he's hard, it feels likes all the blood in his body is settling there. his pubes hmm? white bush. he does trim it tho. but c'mon man!! it's gojo satoru we're talking about. he gets off seeing your nose rubbing against his white trim when you deepthroat him. also it's very rare for people to deepthroat him because as i said, longest dick. which is why when you actually manage to take him all the way in, the rare feeling of the throat sucking in has him shooting his translucent load down your throat. how does his cum taste? slightly sweet. duh. he's a sweet tooth and the reason he doesn't get diabetes is because all the sugar goes into his semen.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

code: length: #ad8272 , tip: #875f54

*long inhale* bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock. incase i wasn't clear. he has a BIG FAT FUCKING COCK. he has the cock of our dreams. his size is long and girth is thick asf. length would be about 6.8 or 6.7. well about the girth...3.5 inches. yeah. good luck sucking that in your hole lmao. let's get to the tone. his cock has much darker color than his body. he has one of those milktea brown cocks. and the cockhead is even darker like coffee. oh wait! the cockhead. right. so hear me out. DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A FAT MUSHROOM TIP? the kind that is so thick that it gets lowkey stuck in your hole when he pulls out. my man has to tell you to breathe and relax so he can get it out. about his balls, bitch they're as the same size as big lemons. like you know why he wears those baggy bottoms otherwise everyone would see those nuts easily. they're not even nuts. nuts are dry. his have so much cum inside that if he doesn't shoot his load in you or on you once a day, they'll actually explode. cum taste? i said it before here but incase you're new here, it tastes like if someone put a little lemon and msg in thick and creamy alfredo sauce. bye.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

code: length: #c99a89 , tip: #fcd7ca

*evil laugh* i am not holding back on him but hear me out. HORSE COCK. have you seen it?? it's like curvy girthy cock. me thinks he has long hair and broad shoulders. and have you seen his hands??? it all sums up. isn't as long as gojo but god that meat is fat as fuck. his size has to be around 6 inches and the girth from a 2d angle is about 2 so i found the pythagorean theorem of his cock which is like 6.324 inches. so his tip starts at like 5.324 inches. about the tone...his dick starts darker—or maybe it's cuz of his pubes—at the base but as it reaches towards the head, it blends into the color of his skin tone. geto likes to clean shave sometimes but you know when he saw you drooling over his happy trail when he came out of the shower with a flimsy towel wrapped around his body, yeah he couldn't get that drooling expression of yours out of his head. so he trims it to the length that wouldn't get in the way and is easy to keep it clean but also enough to make you salivate. his balls are very similar to a fig in shape. aren't really fat but they grow hella tight when he is close to cumming. the taste of his cum is sour. i am telling you. like not too sour but it sorta has the acidic taste to it. but nonetheless it tastes good on your tongue. on his too, when he kisses you after shooting a load in your mouth

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

code: length: #e8cca9 , tip: #b59267

chooo choo mfs. i am about to go off. dw i won't slander him, he has already suffered enough. #justicefornanami but anyways back with my girthy cock agenda. now listen. he is not long. i mean he has an average size but the girth??? sheesh! that makes up for it. his length has to be like 5.8 or max to max 6 though gotta love that 4 inches girth, big fat meat, exceeeding half the size of his length. now if you don't understand this concept in numericals, let me indulge you in a scenario that might help. imagine him coming home frustrated from work and all he needs is a warm shower. but there you are all slutty in your outfit and all he wants to do is blow your back out. so he gets hard...like really hard. and it's so painful for his cock to stay put under all those layers of cloth that if he doesn't free it, it will tear it's fat way out. so when he finally decides to unbuckle the belt, pull his undies down with the waistband, his cock jumps out and slaps against his shaved pelvis. so loud that you can hear it over the noise of the tv. now you get it? no? okay hear this one. when he wears an underwear coming fresh out of the shower, his dick takes up about the area similar to a size of a bowl. about his tip, he has a fat tip bruh. not too fat because the base is much thick but yeah. now time for the taste, mixture of citrusy and salty. like when he cums in your tongue it has that salty flavor but the after taste is sweeter and falls more of the citrusy side. maybe like a tangerine. wow i really went off. apologies everyone.

𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

code: base: #805149 , length: #f5d7c6 , tip: #edc8bb

i am in my monsterfucking era so this is gonna be monster kuna. so we all know four arms, two dicks yada yada yada but did you know sukuna has a special ability?? like we all know he can summon his mouth anywhere but did you know he can summon his dick too? anywhere on his body. he does this thing where if you act too bratty, he'd throw his palm your mouth and you'd think he's just blocking your voice but this mf pops out a whole ass 8 inch monster cock in your mouth that has you gagging and choking, eyes rolling back. *728 dead. 263 injured* there's no size for kuna since he can adjust the size but if we're talking tones, the base of his cocks (wow. plural. would you look at that) have reddish undertone. like tomato red but the actual dickbod has like peachy pink color. his cockhead is long and kinda blends into the length. his cum tastes bitter and sour. not repellent but the taste is still strong. don't underestimate this man though. he'll rip your holes apart yet have you begging him for more. that's what simply is the power of the king of curses. he has you compelled. but i gotta give it to sukuna fuckers. y'all have some of the strongest pussy/ass.

𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎

code: length: #f2e7c4 , tip: #d6b596

chosito's cock represents a shampoo bottle. now you might ask which one. the retail shampoo bottle that you use as your mic in the shower. he has a pretty and perfect dick. his girth is thick enough for you to wrap your fingers around you and his length enough to fill you up. whenever you stroke his cock, you can't stop looking at it. it just fits right. like it was made for you. so perfect. his size falls under 5.6 to 5.9 inches and the girth is 2.5 inches, so it's like a good ratio. he has an olive undertone and a darker mushroom tip. his pubes aren't trimmed but he keeps them extra clean. you know it because whenever you give him a blowjob and you take him all the way in, there is a floral smell lingering around the area. he doesn't naturally sweat a lot plus he has a very bouncy skin with slightly soft texture so his cock is always pleasant to suck. choso also has very visible veins. and when i mean very...i mean very. like i mentioned his skin has a soft texture so the skin on his length is flimsy and kinda see through. so when you are settled between his legs, stroking him, your eyes are so indulged in watching the blood rush through them and when he cums, his veins start slightly moving and his balls tightens. Oh! Balls. can i say it?? okay i'll say it. Breeder balls. i told you he has a 5.6 inch cock, y'all would have been disappointed. but see the creator of this universe took a few mass off his dick only for it to be filled in them breeder balls. which is why, he cums a lot. when he shoots a load, he almost gives you a facial. his cum is sweet with a metallic taste. but hey! it's a pleasure to swallow his cum. but you know why i compared his cock to a shampoo bottle? it because when he is so horny and hard and you give his base a few big squeezes, he'll spurt out a thick load of cum like your shampoo.

Tags: @bluberrimuffintop @anxious-chick @yuujispinkhair @osamwah @arisaturn @multistan-247 @sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast @mrskokushibo @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @crescentmoontsuki @dianagracesworld @ariachaos @pu-re-love @trueformsukuna @loyal-to-my-dilf @baizzhu @w0nderbeluga @splatmastr   @vuggevise @makisslut @moonish-en @lufemia @jeanboyjean @marshadowstea @frustrated-kitten @katsukichu @sir-kuroo @aleks-chan @dreadsuitsamus @justiceforquentin @kitashousewife @jiaspoon @sintiva @dawn-bunni @mostlyhornyandsad @dilfslayer3000 @shadowy--night @palebananafury @shutyourwhoremouthbecky @figlia-della-luna @marenalee @aoitoge @lahniu @kayjayxx @seraphinaivy @megumistoehair

[hoshbrownie]

neg in tags

[bi-writes]

i'm a big fan of your writing! can i ask what made simon want to mail order a bride in the first place? thanks <3

mail-order bride

he's tired of staring across his dinner table and seeing nothing but empty space.

it isn't something he had thought about in the before. he's spent a long time shifting between different cots, collecting sand from faraway places and counting the bodies he dropped with tally marks against his boots.

there's a picture he keeps tucked into his vest, but he won't take it out. it sits heavy there, an invisible wall between himself and the outside world, a reality that he chooses not to believe. if he doesn't look at them, he won't think of them, and if he doesn't think of them, maybe he can pretend they were never even real.

they all have something outside of here. his sergeants are too pretty and too outgoing to stick around; they're social butterflies, and simon has seen the shuffle of pictures of some pretty girl that gaz can't stop staring at, and soap never shuts up--whenever they have a signal, he's somehow got a phone call with his cousin's stepfather's little sister, or it's his second cousin's brother-in-law's birthday, and he's got to wish him well since he missed his art exhibition last month.

even price has a pale circular shadow that is stained onto his ring finger.

it's not his fault, is it? it's not his fault he was dealt the worst fucking hand. it wasn't his fault he was born already two feet into the grave; it couldn't have been his fault that he can only get a good night's sleep when there's screaming in one ear or the rattle of a battlefield over his head.

it isn't his fault. it isn't his fault. it isn't his fault.

the cigarettes taste bland today. they're old, stale, and he can taste the bitterness already, but he lights it anyways, flicking ash into the ground, scrunching his nose until he gets used to the bite of it.

there's a shadow at his side, and he turns to snap at them, assuming it's johnny and his incessant nagging, but he holds his tongue when he realizes it's his captain.

he's got a warm cigar in one hand, and he leans against the concrete wall beside him, sighing deep, the kind of pensive weight that only a captain can bear.

price looks tired. he needs to go home.

"boys invited y'out, didn't they?" price asks, and simon chuckles lowly.

"'m olready 'ome," simon murmurs. "'n i can get piss drunk oll on my own 'ere."

price shrugs.

"ya haven't taken leave since you joined my team, simon," he says low. "can't have that. you know it."

simon shrugs.

"can try and make me go," simon tells him. "but y'know i won't leave."

"i'm not asking, simon," price says firmly. "'m telling."

"doesn't matter," simon takes a long drag of the cigarette, holding it in for a second too long before letting it out slow. "got nowhere ta go."

his captain is not blind. simon's on a one-way road, and the end of it stops at the end of someone else's gun. men like simon, the ones who have nothing to lose, they're dangerous. they clear rooms outnumbered thirty to one because no one thinks they can. they hit targets from thousands of yards away because it's the only place that never changes. they kill and sleep peacefully because the blood of a stranger is far cleaner than that of someone they know, of someone they love.

they'll never leave because war is familiar. they don't want to go home because home isn't something they know. they're nomads, taking with them only what they can carry, because the rest is baggage and an emotional weight that they aren't strong enough to carry.

but it doesn't mean men like simon don't want. it doesn't mean they don't wish for more. it doesn't mean they don't think about using their teeth for something other than baring them to show their dominance, their aggression, their insecurity.

simon's a protector. the way he shoves his men behind him says so. the steadiness of his voice over comms when the op goes to shit. the ease of his hand when he ties a tourniquet. the split second that simon never wastes, the way he uses his body as armor and the look he gives his men when they're scared. simon's died twice before, and the look in his eyes tells them that this isn't it, that this isn't death, because he'd fucking know--he'd recognize it if he saw it.

simon's unrelenting. his past, his trauma, it's tried to beat him into a shape that will bend and snap, but its obvious simon is not made of lead--fuck, he's an entire block of unmovable steel. he does not give when compressed, he does not crack when the strength of him is tested. simon's fought too hard to live to let a gun terrify him, he's endured too much torture to flinch when someone sinks a blade into his chest.

but he knows, simon knows, that there is something missing. he fought hard to live, but for what? he's endured, but what the fuck is there when he lays his head down at night?

simon's a lover. he tries so hard to convince himself that he's always been this way--alone, drifting, lost, but it's a lie. simon knows what it's like to want. he knows what it's like to look into a crowd and hope you see a familiar face. he understands wanting to pull that string taut, but he also understands what it can do to you. what it can take from you.

he understands what you can never get back.

he thinks this is a bad idea. he crumples the note paper in his hand that had the address scribbled onto it, tearing it, staring up at the house in front of him. it's quaint, a lovely little house in the outskirts of london, with a red chimney and overturned planters in the yard. there's a weathered wooden door, a porch step that needs fixing, and when he kicks open the door, he grimaces seeing a carpet that need's replacing.

"the fuck am i doin' 'ere?" he whispers to himself, sliding his mask off, running a hand over his face. his heart is pounding, but he's not sure why, but he catches his reflection in the window. what looks back at him terrifies him--he can't do this.

he makes his way back outside, rummaging through his pockets for a cigarette. he takes a seat on the steps, lighting it, and as he takes his first frantic drag, he sees the torn pages of the note still on the ground. he picks up one end of it, running his thumb over the crumpled paper there, smudging the pencil scribble there.

she needs you

it's written in price's ugly handwriting, letters all tilted to the side and barely legible, but he still can read what price didn't write--and you need her.

but simon doesn't need anyone. he barely needs himself, barely can take care of himself. this won't help him--he can't help anyone, he isn't the kind that can be this kind of thing for anyone. he's stayed in the service because at least this way, he can die with honor, he can prove them all wrong, he can at least be remembered for what he could do and not by what was done to him.

his touch is ice. his heart is buried too deep under his ribs; no one has seen it since he could finally register a memory. his face, the skin he wears--he's not a pretty man, he's a forgettable one. he isn't gentle, he isn't capable of it. he can't forgive. he's so quick to anger, likes to snap his teeth, and he cannot be the kind of thing that they all expect him to be.

he does not love himself. he will not love himself. so he cannot love another.

there is a certain kind of satisfaction he feels when he fixes the porch step. once abandoned, once a nuisance, and now it functions as intended. he feels the same kind of thing when he rips up the stained carpet, and he feels it again when he watches the seeds of the thyme leaves grow as they rest in a pot above the sink.

things once forgotten serve a purpose. with effort, they can be used again. they don't have to be replaced, they can be open anew, they can live again and breathe deeper and see through the lens of a different perspective.

when you climb the porch steps the first time, he thinks about the board that doesn't wobble any longer. when the door shuts behind you for the first time and you take off your boots, he thinks about the new carpet that warms your toes now.

and when you lay next to him for the first time, under the covers of the bed he's made, he reaches over and slips a few fingers around your wrist, thumbing at the base of it and swallowing hard when he feels the pulse of your heartbeat. it beats, warm and steady, to a beat familiar, one he knows. his heart has not been hiding under thick bone and the tar of his own blood.

it's here now. under your skin. and now it's home.