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luvyeni · 1 year ago

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❛A VERY HAPPY ENDING❜ ( l. felix )

p. masseuse!felix x fem!reader w. 2.3k

warnings? fingering, boob play, oral ( f. receiving ), uprotected sex, cum eating

— 𖦹 ( you're in need of a break and to relax, so your friend makes you a well needed reservation at a massage parlor ) !

authors note. i suddenly remember when felix would go around and give people massages and i came up with this, so enjoy 😁.

“Jesus yn, what the hell happened in here?” your roommate entered your room. “it’s like a tornado hit your room; did this, left — spun the block and hit it again.” She said, stepping over the pile of clothes on the floor to your bed. “im sorry I didn’t have enough time this week to clean, too busy at work.”

“looks like you didn’t have the time to do your hair and anything else, you look like a hobo.” You clicked away at your keyboard, rolling your eyes. “did you come in here to insult me?” you questioned. “cause that could’ve been a text.”

“I came in here to tell you that you need to take a break, you’re working yourself to death.” She voiced her concerns. “im fine.” You said. “baby no you not and that’s okay, we can fix that cause you can’t keep living like this.” She was right, — your job had recently had layoffs and you and the rest of the people that were spared were worked to the bone to replace the missing people; which meant more work and long hours, so you didn’t have much time to do anything.

“living like what?” you turned in your chair. “babe when was the last time you had any me time?” you shrugged. “maybe about a month ago, I think.” She sighed. “exactly you need to relax, that’s why as your roommate and the bestest friend in the world, I took the liberty of scheduling us both for a massage at my favorite masseuse parlor this weekend.”

“I don’t have time this weekend there’s a— nope I don’t want to hear it.” She covered her ears. “you’re gonna put the laptop down this weekend and go out and have some relaxation time.” She said. “even if I have to drag you out myself.”

You sighed, knowing your friends wouldn’t back down unless you agreed. “fine we’ll go.” She clapped, standing up. “great!” she chipped. “its gonna be great, I swear you’ll feel like a new woman after this.” She said hugging you; before making her way to the door, looking around the room once more. “and maybe then you’ll come to your senses and clean this pigsty.” She scrunched her nose up in disgust before leaving out.

The next few days were busy and finally Friday rolled around and the weekend was finally here. That evening you got home and your friend was already going at your room claiming ‘we need to get this together before we become new women.” You sighed, dropping your bag; changing your clothes before you also jumped in and you tackled the crazy that was your room; you both finished; covered in sweat from the deep clean. “girl you better be paying me fore that.” Your friend huffed. “I worked like a damn dog.”

“thank you.” You said, ready to take a shower and hop into bed. “no problems girl.” Your friend hopped up. “now get some sleep cause our girls day starts at 10:30 am sharp.” She skipped out her room. “and make sure to tidy up down there.” She pointed to your below area. “why do I need to do that?” you crossed your legs. “just listen to me, and do it goodnight.”

“is it noticeable.” You said looking down; had it been a long time? “no.” you scoffed getting your pajamas ready. “shes crazy.” You said, thinking for a minute. “well it couldn’t hurt anyone.” You grabbed a new razor from your nightstand before making your way into the bathroom.

The next day you a woken feeling a little bit more refreshed than usual; sleeping in a little later than normal and in a clean room really was nice. You woke up, getting ready for the day with your roommate.

You spent the whole morning and early afternoon out with your roommate; getting your hair and nails done, shopping for new clothes and other things for the apartment. It was almost time for you both to head over to the massage place; so you stopped for lunch then headed right over.

“we’re here.” She pulled into the parking lot. “it even looks fancy outside.” You stepped out of the car. “I booked our appointments for a least busy time so it should be empty so we won’t have to wait long.” You both walked into the place, standing at the front desk. “hello?” you friend tapped the bells and a boy came scurrying out.

“hello, welcome to our day spa, do you both have a appointment?” he said. “yes we do its under (f/l/n).” he typed down on the computer, your friend turned to you mouthing ‘he’s cute’ to which you shook your head at her antics.

“oh here it is.” He laughed after struggling to find it. “which one of you is scheduled for felix and which one of you is scheduled for changbin?” you turned to your friend. “does it matter?” she nodded. “changbin is much muscular and he hits all the right places “ you furrowed your eye brows. “you seem to know a lot about this place.”

“if I may?” the man in front of you said. “felix is very good too, he’s the most popular here, everyone always asks for him.” You nod, well if he’s good that’s all that matters, anyway a massage is a massage. “okay.”

He guided you both to two different rooms. “you can go in there and you there, they both should be here soon so you can get undressed and wait.” He walked away. “undressed?” you turned to your friend. “yeah you have to fully be undressed.” She said. “is that why you told me to shave?” she winked, walking into her room shutting the door. “crazy.” You walked into your room closing the door.

You stripped down to your underwear, taking the towel, wrapping it around your waist, pulling your panties down your leg, sitting them down on your pile of clothes — just as the door opened, making you jump, covering your chest. “oh im sorry I thought you’d be laying down already.” He said. “its okay.” You said. “I was just finishing up.”

“well you can lay down now and we can start.” He dimmed the lights. “I can light candles if you want.” You smiled, nodding. “thank you.” You laid down, your boobs hitting the cold leather, making you hiss at the sensation. “you okay?” felix finished lightning the last candle. “y-yes im fine.” You felt your face heat up that he heard that noise. “okay we can get started now.”

You rested your head on your arms; you felt a warm liquid hit your back, making you flinch. “is it too hot?” you shook your head. “just shocked me a little.” You heard him chuckle. “don’t be scared, its just eucalyptus and peppermint oil.” He explained, you felt him rubbing it along your back, you sighed at his touch. “it helps with inflammation and pain.”

The boy in the front was right; he was a godsend with his hands, it’s like he knew you like the back of his hand, hitting all the right places, your body slowly began to relax. “you seem so tense, do you work a lot?” he asked. You hummed. “its not good to work like that, too much stress can cause a lot of knots and that causes pain.” He pressed down on one spot that made your eyes shoot open; a low whimper coming out of your mouth.

“oh , im sorry.” You cursed at yourself, embarrassed at how it just slipped out. “that’s good, it means I’m doing a good job.” He said. “don’t be embarrassed.” He said in a low soft tone, his deep voice sending a wave of arousal in your gut. “let out all the noises you want.”

His hands moved to your side, rubbing them gently; making his way up to the side of your boobs. “is this okay?” you hummed, pretty sure at this point you’d let him do whatever he wanted as long as he kept talking to you like that.

His hands rubbed the sides of your bust gently, you bit your lip to contain any noises that tried to force their way out. “you don’t have to hide them.” He said. “I want to hear them.” You couldn’t for the life of you wrap your head around why this stranger has such an effect on you; but you didn’t stop the next noise that came out of your mouth. “fu-fuck.”

He worked down your back, right above your ass, where the towel covered, pressing down. “its seems really tense here.” He pressed down harder, you whimpered. He worked down to your legs, pushing the towel to sit right above your thighs. He poured some more warm oil on your legs, rubbing your calves, making his way up to your thighs — dangerously close to your bare bottom.

Felix never would’ve done this with another client; he would’ve stopped right at your back — but he couldn’t help it, you were making so much noise and he had to admit; it was turning him on, a lot — and he wanted to see how far he could go.

His hands were entering dangerous territory as he rubbed the in of your thighs, you could feel the heat of his fingers on your cunt, he could easily touch it if he wanted — and you really wanted him to.

It’s like he read your mind cause his next words made your heart race. “if you want me to touch you, you have to say something.” He said. “I wont do anything you don’t want me to.” He said. “i-I want you to.” You said breathlessly. “then turn around.”

You turned on your back, his hands work all the back up to your boobs, gently cupping them; you let out a soft moan. “let me hear you.” He pinched your bud, your back arched up; giving him the leeway to undo the towel, your bare cunt for him to see — thank god you shaved. “so pretty.” His hands travel down to your pussy, lightly touching it. “pl-please.”

“you want me to touch you?” you nodding. “ye-yes.” He smiled, his hand spreading your legs; fingers grazing your clit. “good you used your words.” He rubbed your clit, spreading your folds. “such a pretty cunt.” He whispered. “so soft.” He pushed a finger inside of you. “so wet.” He moved his fingers in and out of you, curling the to hit that gummy spot inside of you. “you gonna cum, I can feel you clenching.” He used the pad of his thumb to rub your clit. “you can cum.”

And just like that you were on his finger, moaning out loud. “so loud.” he sat on the massage table in front of your breathless naked body. “I want to hear more.” He kissed your neck, climbing on top of your body to leave little kisses down the valley of your breath, taking a nipple into his mouth as he sat on his knees in between your legs, his hard cock evident as he pressed it against your cunt.

“sh-shit.” You moaned as he grinding his hips against you, sucking on your nipples. “pl-please fuck me.” That was all he needed, before he undid his pants freeing his hard cock. “you sure you want to do this?” he said. “im a stranger and — I want this, please.” You needed this, you needed him to fuck you. “please fuck me.”

He pressed his tip against your cunt, pushing himself inside of you. “oh fuck you’re so tight.” He slowly worked himself in and out of you. “you need to relax, you’re so tense I can barely -fuck- I can barely move inside of you.” You whined as he used the pad of his thumb to rub your bud. “that’s it.” He sighed. “open up for me.”

He moved his hips fluidity, his cock hitting all the spots your vibrator just didn’t. “fe-felix.” His name flowing right out of your mouth as he worked his way in and out of you. “fe-feels so good.” He moved faster, you felt your orgasm approaching. “im gonna cum.” Your voice was shaky as your clenched tightly around him.

“fuck me too.” He grunted, he moving faster. “felix im cumming.” You gasped, the knot in your stomach snapping as you came. “shit you’re too tight.” He moaned, his orgasm approaching quickly. “shit.” He pulled out as fast as he could, cumming all over your cunt. “fuck.”

“one more.” He said, his face near your cunt. “I want to give you one more.” He licked your folds, the taste of your cunt and his cum on his tongue was dizzying. “fu-fuck.” You were feeling overstimulated at the point, but you still felt your third orgasm approaching fast. “oh fuck.” You gasped. “fuck im gonna cum!” thinking he was gonna move away, but he didn’t he stayed there drinking up all you have to offer. “fe-felix.” You had to push his head away to keep him from going on.

He pulled away, wiping his mouth; your body was fully relaxed by now; the service time was probably long over. “shit my boss is gonna kill me.” He quickly redressed himself, helping you get dressed. “that sounded harsh, I really liked it.” He said, you laughed, pulling your shirt down. “I understand, my friend has probably called me a thousand times.” You pulled out your phone, and believe it or not there were no phone calls from her, but two text messages.

(friends name)🩷| I told you you’d like him…

(friends name)🩷| have fun girl, I’ll wait in the car😉

Your face burned with embarrassment. “I would like to see you again.” He said. “me-me?” he nodded. “yes, if that’s okay.” You nodded. “I would love to see you again.” He smiled, as you gave him your number. “lets see each other soon.” He nodded. “is the weekend coming up okay?” he wanted to see you as soon as he could — he needed to. “We can get dinner and maybe see a movie.” He moved closer to you, caging you against the bed a smirk on his face.

“and I can give you a even better happy ending than today, only if you’re good though.”

©️LUVYENI

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piplupcola · 10 months ago

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Some shameless POS literally used AI to steal my friend's animated film

I usually don't post stuff like this but this shit's insane and downright insulting. I graduated from Ringling College of Art and Design in 2022, a pretty well known animation school in the US, and every animation student on their final year of college has to make an animated film for our final thesis. If you have any idea of the animation making process, you would know that making an entire film by yourself in one year is batshit insane and extremely exhausting, to the point where I'm still feeling the effects of the process on my physical and mental wellbeing 2 years after I graduated. Once more, my friends and I did it during the covid period, which was another level of hell. I was literally watching my grandfather's funeral while working in the labs at 2am because I couldn't fly home to attend it because we had to make this film. This film was our lifeblood, the culmination of 4 years of hell at school which was suppose to be our gateway into the industry. Tldr, it's fucking difficult to do, especially on your own.

So imagine 2 years later and I wake up to a bunch of messages on our alumni chat where a dear friend of mine posted a link to a tiktok video of someone literally stealing her entire film and superimpose it shot by shot and claim it as their own ad for their AI game. As animators, we aren't unaware of people stealing our films and reposting them elsewhere. Heck my own film "The End" was stolen from our school vimeo and posted on tiktok BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFICIALLY RELEASED, and that tiktok got hundreds of thousands of views while a year after my own real release my film is still struggling in the thousands.

But this

This is a fucking new low.

Can you imagine? A fresh graduate going through literal blood sweat and tears to make a film on their own that is so important to their future in the industry, to get them a job, with a film that represents a part of themselves to the world, just used as fodder for some stupid tech assholes? It's infuriating. It's insulting. It's literally a big fuck you to the hundreds of students who spent their lives toiling to make these films from the heart who are just desperate to get into the industry.

The animation industry right now is in complete shambles. People are graduating from animation schools with thousands of dollars in dept only to be met with a wasteland of minimum wage and lack of funding and competing for jobs with people who have already been in the industry for years affected by the massive layoffs not only in the movie but also the gaming industries. These films we make for our thesis aren't just films made for fun, they represent our lifeblood, our only opportunity to get a job as a graduate in this sea of hell. If you didn't make a good film, chances are you're never even stepping foot in the industry ever. It's our golden ticket that we would put thousands of hours through, sleepless nights and pushing through no matter the circumstances of sickness and pain it caused us.

And now some dumb fucking AI using dickbags see that and decide it's worth nothing.

Here's a link to my friend's real film. Please go watch it and support her work. I'm not even gonna link the other piece of shit tiktok because I don't want that video to even get a single extra view but here's a recording my friend made so you can see this malarkey side by side.

It's heartbreaking to see my friend's film barely getting any views while the stolen garbage is already in the thousands. I hope the person who stole my friend's work and made that shit dies in a fiery car crash and go straight to hell.

I cannot emphasise how we must not let this shit continue to happen. We're living in a fucking dystopia and unless we do something about it and support those affected by it it's only going to get worse. They're already expanded from stealing people's still art to stealing people's entire films, if we don't stop this nothing we create would ever be safe.

My friend's film:

youtube

The shameless fuckheads who stole her film:

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highwaytothedangerzone502 · 3 months ago

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Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 43

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 1567

Warnings: Mention of death/near-death and childbirth complications

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Also, I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter. It's been a rough couple of months because my company decided to do layoffs and unfortunately, I was in the layoff group ☹️ I know it's short but I do hope you enjoy!

Chapter Songs: Every Storm Sweet Nothings

***

Hangman

The muffled noise of the hustle and bustle in the hospital hallway outside reminded Jake of many things, namely that he survived his brother's attack. He used it to ground him to reality while he slowly got dressed. Coyote had gone to retrieve his truck to bring both Jake and Ghost back to her place since Hangman's was still technically considered a crime scene. Ghost had left to officially check him out of the hospital. Matt had gone to the police station at their request to assist with something in the assault and embezzlement cases against Nick, but he'd promised to come to Ghost's later to help out.

A knock on his door caught his attention, and without turning around, he called for them to come in. It opened, and Ghost said, "You have a visitor."

"I hardly call you a visitor when you've practically lived in this room with me since I got here," he joked, trying to make his girlfriend laugh. She'd barely done so since she'd broken down about the guilt she felt over the entire situation, and Hangman used any opportunity he could to make Ghost laugh, to let her know it wasn't her fault, to let her know he didn't blame her for what happened, and to assure himself that Ghost had made it out alive as well. Her silence was deafening, and hearing her laugh made him believe in her physical presence when he couldn't touch her.

A different, weaker female voice replied, "Ghost isn't referring to herself."

Against his better judgment, Hangman whirled around, instantly regretting the action when pain lanced up his abdomen. He would've reacted to it had he not seen Juliette standing in the doorway; Ghost stood at her side, arm-in-arm, to support her friend and ensure she didn't collapse to the ground.

"Hey, Hangman," Juliette greeted with a small but sincere smile. "You're looking well for a guy who got stabbed multiple times."

Jake strode over to her, saying, "You look good for someone who died and came back."

He enveloped her in a giant, gentle hug, relieved to know his best friend was alive and well. Despite her fragile appearance, Juliette hugged him fiercely. "Sounds like we both almost met Death."

"Yeah, try not to do that again. I don't think my heart could handle it, and I know Rooster's couldn't.

"He's going to be a complete Mother Hen when we get home," Juliette groaned, pulling away from Jake.

"As he should," Ghost and Hangman replied simultaneously. The former added, "How are the twins doing?"

"Doing well, all things considered. We should be able to take them home next week." Juliette glanced up and down at Hangman. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I promise. Are you?"

Juliette nodded. "Yeah. A little shaken, but okay."

"If it wasn't for you nailing Nick on the head with that baseball bat, I'm not sure we'd all be standing here," Ghost remarked, gently squeezing her friend's arm.

"Don't do drugs, kids." Hangman's joke earned a grin from Juliette and a small smile from Ghost. He ached to reach for her but decided Ghost wouldn't appreciate the gesture in front of her friend because Juliette would pick up on the hidden message and ask what was wrong when all she needed to do was focus on recovering herself. "How'd you escape Bradshaw's watchful eye?"

"A lot of convincing and a little bit of sneaking out while he went to get the Bronco," Juliette confessed sheepishly, scrunching her face up with the knowledge she'd undoubtedly be reprimanded by her fiance.

"Which was not appreciated," came Rooster's voice behind them. All three of them jumped at his sudden appearance. He'd come from around the corner with the most impeccable timing, eyeing his fiancee disapprovingly. "You're lucky your mom was there to tell me where you were."

Ghost moved aside to let Rooster support Juliette, joining Hangman's side. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him, savoring the moment of being able to make such a gesture without repercussions or questions.

Rooster shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Take me to bed or lose me forever?" Juliette suggested with a playful gleam in her sapphire eyes.

"The only reason you're getting into a bed is to rest." Kissing her on top of the head, Rooster then turned to Ghost and Hangman. "Do you two need a ride?"

"No, Coyote's picking us up. Thanks, though."

"All right. If you two need anything-"

"We'll call Coyote because you-" Ghost pointed a firm finger at Rooster- "will be taking care of your wife and kids. On the other hand, if you need anything from me-"

"Us," Hangman corrected.

"Neither of you," Juliette interrupted sternly. "One of you has a severe concussion, the other got stabbed and nearly died, so you're taking care of yourselves and each other and no one else until you're better. Understood?"

"The minute one of us can drive, we're at your disposal. No arguments," Ghost declared with equal seriousness.

Juliette narrowed her eyes at her friend. Hangman might've relented under the intensity of it, but Ghost held firm in her statement. "Fine, but don't overdo it when you're better. Concussions take a while to recover from."

"Trust me, I know." Ghost ruefully rubbed the back of her head, and Hangman flashed back to her high school car wreck. His heart lurched at the memory because it'd terrified him then to see her stumbling out of her totaled car in a daze, and it still horrified him now, especially after what they'd just gone through. "We'll see you soon, though, okay?"

Bidding each other goodbye, the couples parted ways. Hangman watched Rooster and Juliette walk away, the latter leaning heavily onto her husband. Worry gnawed at Hangman, and he asked quietly, "Do you really think she's okay?"

Ghost hesitated for a moment before responding. "No. I don't think she is."

***

Rooster

Watching my wife, I noticed the smile on her face slowly fade until it wholly disappeared by the time we reached home. I tried to think of something, anything, to say to her, but nothing came to mind. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was going through. In the span of twenty-four hours, she'd been told to go to the hospital for her pre-eclampsia, walked into a fight where two men were trying to murder her friends and family, had a seizure, had an emergency C-section, died, and came back. That was a lot for anyone to handle, even for someone as strong as my wife, and I felt so useless in not being able to do anything about it for her.

I helped Juliette out of the car, and entering the house, her melancholy momentarily disappeared to greet Raptor and Lightning. She knelt on the floor, hugging and kissing our dogs, who acted peculiarly and uncharacteristically reserved, almost like they sensed their mom's fragile state.

"Hi, babies," Juliette whispered, kissing them on their heads. "Momma's okay. I'm okay."

Although subtle, I heard the crack in her voice at the end, and I wondered if her telling the dogs she was okay was more for herself than for them. I sat on the floor beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Juliette said nothing at the contact; she simply continued petting the dogs. For five minutes, we sat in silence. For five minutes, I watched Juliette's face slowly redden, watched tears brim her sapphire eyes, felt her body begin to tremble until I finally softly said, "Jules."

Her composure crumbled, and for the first time in my life, I watched in horror as my wife completely and utterly broke down. Without a word, I pulled her into my arms and cradled her while she wept. Raptor and Lightning lay on the floor on each side of me, flanking us protectively.

"I'm so sorry," Juliette rasped when her sobs had somewhat abated.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I managed to reply despite the painful knot in my throat. I wanted to cry, too, not only because it dawned on me once more how close I'd come to losing my wife but because she felt she had to apologize for it.

"I nearly widowed you and orphaned our children," Jules said. "I should've listened to you. I should've gone sooner to the hospital and-"

"And if we hadn't, you wouldn't have saved Ghost, Hangman, and Maverick. I'm not sure they would've made it had we not shown up. So, yes, it was terrifying and painful to watch you die, but you're still here, Jules. I got you back, our kids got you back, our dogs got you back, and our friends and family are alive because of you."

Juliette sniffled, wiping her nose. "I died, Bradley. I- I can't-"

"I know." I kissed her forehead, understanding that she was still trying to comprehend everything she'd been through. It would be a long while before Juliette was okay again, but I would be here for her no matter what, as would our friends and family. We would help her get through this.

Juliette pulled her head back just far enough to look me in the eyes. I braced my forehead against hers and lightly began pecking her on the lips, whispering a word between each: India. Lima. Yankee. ***

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ahiddenpath · 2 months ago

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Life Talk

Discussing how I'm dealing with Things beneath the cut.

I doubt I'll be able to say anything about the US election results that you haven't seen a million times before. I wasn't sure if I should bother commenting. I'm not sure where I am in the processing stages, so... Forgive me if my tone is weird. I definitely feel weird.

First thing's first; I've anticipated this outcome since people started blaming Biden for inflation. That's a typical thing in American politics; whoever is in charge currently is blamed for everything, which often causes the presidency to swap from D to R and back, regardless of where problems began. Of course, if voters really were worried about the economy, well... The Trump tariffs are a laughably, horrifically bad solution. But... I don't think the average American voter understands tariffs. So like. Whelp. There's a very real reason why Rs want to gut public education. Well, there are several, but yeah, a less educated populace is easier to fleece.

Obviously there are a million other horrible things going on here; if I tried to get into them all, I would never finish this post. But I can't say I'm experiencing shock or betrayal. I knew many Americans hate women, POC, the queer community, and others more than they care about their own self interests. Although most, I think, are simply not educated enough to understand that their self interests are at risk, and many others were sucked into the far right cult stuff years ago. Rs always scream about the liberal media, but so much American media (and social media!) is owned by the right, or is at least paid off by them. I'm wondering, as education continues to fail, especially given the next administration, will Americans have any hope of thinking beyond whatever Facebook posts and news in the pocket of (or in fear of) the right tells them?

We're in a bad way, but this didn't happen on the day of the election. We've been living in this environment for years, now. Are things about to get worse? Yes, of course. I think it's an important time to remember who your friends and loved ones are, to lean on them and check in on them, to do stupid fun stuff with them. And I think it's time to step away from the doom scrolling and inventing horrible what-if scenarios. Obviously this is a scary time; I'm not trying to diminish that. But spiraling causes pain now, PLUS more pain later if the bad thing comes to pass.

I've seen some interesting posts with actionable ideas. Get a passport ASAP, look into moving (to blue states, out of climate change buffer areas, or internationally if you can, although obviously that is not easy nor readily available), think about if your industry will be impacted by tariffs and sweeping federal government layoffs, get sterilized if you know you don't want kids, get that medical appointment you've been pushing off. Actionable stuff is productive! Spiraling isn't. Although uhhh, that's easier said than done. I'm just trying to push myself in a better direction, here.

As for me, here are some fractured snippets of how I've been feeling:

-Mourning. Shit, I'm 35. Trump will be in office until I'm 39. My child bearing window is closing. Are we not having a family bc of orange oompah loompah and his country and world destroying policies?

-I'm aware that I will be buffered from some things, purely because of how I look, where I live, etc. And the fact that I'm married to a safe man who adores me affords some protection. I feel weird about it, but must acknowledge it, so I don't get uhh. Disconnected from people who are more vulnerable than me. I think that Democratic politicians who mean well, but don't experience what so many Democrat constituents go through/suffer with for various reasons, becoming so... Out of touch and unrelatable... Um, I think that played a role in getting us here. It's difficult for these politicians to organize or affect change when their life experience is... Just overall safer by default. And this applies to people who aren't politicians, too, just on a less official level.

Those of us who are comparatively safer for various reasons need to hear people who are less safe and acknowledge that some things impact us differently, and we need to prioritize what the most vulnerable need.

-On the day before the election, I started Googling how to become a witch and books on witchcraft. I did it with a wry grin, because I'm aware that magic/witchcraft/New Age stuff/tarot/crystals/mysticism/etc surge in popularity during times of political and economic strife. Meaning that they are SUPER FUCKING POPULAR right now, and have been for a while. You might know that I'm a Seeker (tarot practitioner), but I'm also a scientist. I'm... not the most spiritual person.

But, like, FUCK IT. Time to become a witch. Time to creep into the wild woods and make a hut and live with the bears. TIME TO CURSE SOME MF-ers!

I told my reasonable friend. Here is our conversation:

Hidden: So I'm googling witch books.

Friend: No. We don't turn to magic in the face of tragedy. We drink hot cocoa.

Hidden: FINE I GUESS (hrmph!!!!)

I told another friend the same:

Friend: How are you holding up?

Hidden: Googling how to become a witch. So... yeah.

Friend: How... how DO you become a witch?

Hidden: IDK, that's why I'm googling it.

Sigh. I might still buy that book on the history of witchcraft and paganism. What, it's history! xD

-Otherwise, I've been weirdly fortunate that work has been so demanding. I've been learning more about in silico analysis lately (using huge protein databases to predict how developable a new antibody based drug might be, which residues to change, and how immunogenic your antibody might be). I'm learning and doing so much that I come home exhausted, but like. Maybe that's the lack of sleep on Tuesday night talking.

-I've been leaning into the animal of myself these last few days. The soft, squishy, vulnerable meat of me. Sleep and work and food and relying on my partner bond with my husband. Listening to his heartbeat, feeling the low rumble of his voice when we cuddle, letting skin on skin release safe and happy hormones.

-I think I need to get off reddit and its eternal doom. Like, permanently. Tumblr and Insta are the only other social media I use, but Tumblr is all digimon and Insta is all cats and dolls. I'm hoping the political posts that aren't primarily actionable die down on Tumblr soon, so I don't need to spend less time here, but obviously people need to post what they are going to post. If I'm here less, this is likely why.

Most of all, do what you can to beat back despair. I don't really have comforting words, except that you're not alone. Other people DO think and feel the way you do now. Let's all try to be there for each other, distract one another, and maybe have some hugs and hot drinks. Or like... start a coven, idk.

You are loved. Ask for help if you need to, offer it if you can.

#hidden's life

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caltropspress · 2 months ago

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RAPS + CRAFTS #34: Snotnoze Saleem

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I go by the name Snotnoze Saleem. So far, all projects under this alias have been released on Illuminated Paths, including the mixtape Intifada, the sister EPs Shards I & II, and the most recent EP Samizdat, all self-produced. I don’t want to give too much away as of right now since I prefer to announce music when it is fully complete, but I got a collab tape with an amazing producer coming up, and I’m always working on my own stuff.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

Any and everywhere. I used to have a routine where I would write on my lunch break at work, and then afterwards after smoking. I don’t particularly like employment, so I always had a source of agitation to pull from, however that routine has recently been shattered due to a layoff. But I’ve been slowly finding a new groove until the next source of daily annoyance gives me more ammo, and even without a job, there’s always something. I discipline myself by sitting down and saying, “I’m going to come up with at least a few bars here,” or, “I will find a pocket in this weird ass beat,” but during that window of discipline I’ll let the words come as they may. I make an effort to jot down interesting thoughts or turn of phrases every day, even as little as just two words that I think sound interesting when put together. I tend to feel panicky if I feel I haven’t written anything for a few days straight, which can happen.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

It used to be strictly pen and paper because I thought it was more “official,” but as time progressed I found myself thinking in bars all throughout the day, and I found it much more convenient to just pull my phone out and type whatever it is that came to me. I don’t think I’ve ever kept a whole verse strictly in my head; I’d be too afraid of forgetting it.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

Usually disorganized, and then I find a satisfying order and rhythm for recitation. A few times a song will be more focused and will come off as what you could say are logical thoughts, like my one song “A Foreign Army Invaded My Funeral Procession” from Shards II, but that wasn’t even on purpose. It kinda just came out that way.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

Nah, I don’t trash anything - always keep it. I’ve used lines I’ve written years prior, or recycle entire verses on a new beat if I think it fits better. When I’m in that discipline window I mentioned earlier, I’ll just write whatever, doesn’t have to make sense (not like the finished version has to) or be on any type of beat or rhythm or cadence, just get the juices flowing. It’s usually pretty clunky at first, but once I’ve gotten used to the beat then I can make adjustments. If I’m working on a verse and I haven’t reached that breakthrough beyond, say, a week or two, then it may be time to move on to something else, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never go back to it again.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I used to write screenplays when I was younger, and little short stories. I don’t know what happened as I aged, but I find it hard to write organized thoughts and sentences like that nowadays - you know, “proper” sentences. I think the biggest influence it has on me now is just the fact that I’m not a stranger to the act of writing my thoughts down since I’ve been doing it for a while in some shape or form. I would like to read more poetry as well.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

The production plays a big role in this. If I have a beat that really gets a strong reaction from me, like my blood starts boiling as soon as I hear it, I can knock out a big chunk of a verse quickly, or maybe even a whole verse. Other times, it’s just a matter of reciting it either out loud or in my head over and over and over and over and over again until I’m fully satisfied with every word and pocket.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Always writing to a beat, though I may pull from the random thoughts and feelings I’ve jotted down during my day-to-day. But the beat is usually the biggest factor in helping with writing a verse as opposed to little blurbs. If it’s something crazy, like some clamorous buzzsaw synth with a vocal sample of an elderly woman gasping or something, then the words will match that atmosphere. If it’s something calmer, I will adjust accordingly.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

Man, I will pull from anything. My immediate surroundings, maybe a sign I see on the street; or something someone said earlier that I thought was funny or strange; a memory; a feeling I had at a particular moment; a meme or tweet I saw online; the news; a sentence from a book; whatever. Despite the seeming randomness though, I think there are always a handful of topics in my mind that I tend to dwell on or go back to, and it seems like I attempt to compile those disparate sources to fit within those topics even if I didn’t really set out to do that when I started.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

Hmm, those seem like the same thing to me. I would say I do both. Lately I’ve been making a conscious effort of trying not to use “obvious” rhymes, so instead of rhyming, for example, “feature” with “creature,” maybe I’ll go with “people” or even “facetious” or something. See, it doesn’t really rhyme, but it kinda does and you can make it work. I think that makes it more interesting. Nothing wrong with “obvious” rhymes though - more of an exercise to keep my mind sharp.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

I mentioned a collab tape with a producer earlier. I got a song on there that I really think I left the planet on. I wrote it when I was bedridden with COVID, and I think the combination of my brain being in such a vulnerable state and the beat really speaking to me helped with my writing. Don’t get COVID, by the way. Of the stuff I have out at the time of this writing, I like the song “Embryonic” from Shards II. It’s a kind of spoken word thing over a noise sample. I like hearing what different people think I was going for on that one.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

That’s a really tough one. It might be recency bias because it just came out, but I like when I said, “Bantustan bandit back on that bolshevik bullshit.” I like the alliteration and I enjoy using political terms in a somewhat irreverent way. “Bantustan” is in reference to the areas in the West Bank that are designated for Palestinians, which have been compared to the Bantustans of Apartheid-era South Africa, which were designated for black Africans; “bandit” in reference to flippant use of samples; and “bolshevik bullshit” because I guess my raps tend to lean pretty left-wing.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t think I have any authority to tell people how they should or shouldn’t rap. 99.9% of the time I don’t use them because I just don’t need to, and it makes a song easier to perform. But on my song “Nymphs” off of Samizdat (where the line I highlighted in the last question is from), I actually punched-in most of the lines because I was inspired by people like RXKNephew who I feel do it in a unique way, and I just thought it fit the beat. Just seemed like a fun thing to try out. But I don’t really whittle anything down. I have good breath control and sometimes it could even give it more flavor when it sounds like your lungs are about to burst before you finish a line.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Novels of all types, although my favorite authors are ones who can be funny about very serious things - satirical, you know - or know how to play with the English language. The real world. History and politics. Jazz music helps me with finding flows because it is so free and organic. And I really love noise and punk music for the energy.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I like what I put out. It’s not lost on me that many people may find my style outlandish and maybe even unlistenable - that’s okay. It sounds like me and whoever it’s meant for will find it and enjoy it.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Well, the flow on “Nymphs” was done on purpose as a direct tribute, but otherwise I think I’m weird enough as a person (in a good way) that I can take influence from my favorites such as DOOM or ELUCID and it would still come out sounding like me, if that makes sense.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I would like to show the listener that rap is a limitless genre and the best genre and the culmination of all genres, where you can say whatever you want, however you want, and that you can really make a beat out of anything. Real-world concerns would focus on eradicating oppression of all people on the basis of who they are (or any basis really) and the use of everyday language in creative and “foreign” ways.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Delaney Nash

#underground hip hop #zines #interview #snotnoze saleem

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mortispoxi · 11 months ago

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https://videogames.si.com/news/disco-elysium-dev-zaum-layoffs

Today it was announced that Studio ZA/UM's upper management has not only decided to let a third of its employees go but has subsequently canceled the majority of the projects the studio had been working on and let me tell you I… am not the least bit surprised and find the whole thing rather ironic. (rant incoming)

First and foremost, before anyone tries to twist my words I am not celebrating people losing their jobs, especially now that the UK is in a recession. No, what I am highlighting is the irony of it all. These employees, some of whom if you recall argued with fans that Robert Kurvitz's dismissal was all his fault and we were buying into the auteur theory for the last two years, are finding out they were not the exception after all and that upper management can and will do the same thing they did to Kurvitz and co once they've outlived their usefulness. We all knew this was going to happen sooner rather than later but it’s still devastating to know that so many people are going to be affected by the greed of these conmen. The other shoe has finally dropped, and these are the unfortunate repercussions.

Kompus's decision to lay off a third of the employees, some of which have been part of the studio since its inception, does not come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying attention. It's been more than obvious that it was a matter of time before they would drop the façade of a caring boss to reveal their true nature. These employees running to the press crying about their future redundancy is acknowledging a truth those looking in from the outside always knew; the investors are slowly squeezing the life out of the company and no one, not even the founding members of ZA/UM, are safe from being snuffed out by these money grabbing conmen because nothing is sacred to them. This goes beyond just another game studio letting swaths of developers go over the past year and a half because a) at the time of me writing this the studio has not released another game so firing everyone on project X7 seems a bit overkill when you can potentially transfer them to one of the two projects they’re confirmed to still be working on especially when the company is already so small, and b) this is a well-established pattern of morally bankrupt behaviors the investors engage in whenever they encounter anyone who will interfere with maximizing their gross income.

The irony of it all is that these people are now turning around and finally crying mismanagement when Kurvitz had warned them, even before he got fired (and multiple times after), that yes, the investor’s mismanagement is the reason things fell apart so quickly and only now are they seeing he had been right all along. If they truly believed the same wouldn't eventually befall them like it had with their former coworkers, then I'm sorry but that one’s on them to reconcile with. There is no reason for anyone to still be defending the studio at this point since, again, it's pretty clear the investors did this to maintain control over money rather than their excuse that they care about the well-being of their employees. It doesn't exactly take a brainiac to realize the investors have been lying this entire time about the reason why the studio has such a toxic work environment when the guy they accused of being the source of the toxicity has been gone for 3 years and yet the studio’s environment remains the same, ya know? The investors don't care, they never cared, and this is just the consequence of believing that they ever cared to begin with catching up to these people.

Robert Kurvitz was right, continues to be right, and will always be right about how scummy the investors are, and the sooner people acknowledge this the sooner it’ll take to put the IP rights back in the hands of its rightful owner.

#disco elysium #studio za/um #za/um #robert kurvitz #rant post #mp

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catonator · 11 months ago

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Funny heading to a blogpost on videogames that’s some sort of reference

Look, I already used the ctrl+alt+delete quote in a blogpost title. It’s February 2024, and it’s already a very wild year for gaming. We’ve had more layoffs than with the entirety of 2023, games shown off at events seem to be stagnating, interest in the art is waning. Youtube is filled with “modern gaming sucks” doomer blackpill videos. It’s a miserable time.

Is gaming just over?

Well, no. Of course not. The Sonic franchise has lingered for decades despite consistent failure. Games are more resilient than that.

Humanity’s relation to computing is still pretty fresh, and I’d say that despite the size and scale of a lot of it, we’re still going through major growing pains. Concepts like video games, the internet and special effects are still pretty new, despite being around for twice or thrice as long as most of the people reading this have been alive. Internal combustion engine -powered cars were invented in 1808, made mass produced in the 1910s, and even then it took until the 1950s for them to be common enough for the US government to bother designing cities around them. In the present day, many have come to resent the car-centric design mentality, even though the driving (no pun intended) factor behind them was mainly the same as with technology today: scientific and technological progression is unquestionably good, and therefore new and successful ideas should be pushed and relied upon as hard as possible. What could possibly go wrong?!

Video games are far from the only medium which is seeing similar problems. Movies have suffered greatly from a capeshit infestation, in which the abuse of VFX artists is valued over, you know, basics of good filmmaking, and the general public is clearly sick of it. On the internet, we’ve decided that megastructures like Twitter are better than forms of communication we’re good at, and it’s gone horribly wrong. We’re still learning the “do”s, “don’t”s and “who the fuck thought this was a good idea”s of tech.

Games as an artform are as alive as they ever were, but the sheer scale of the operations has grown to a point where nobody can really understand it. The numbers behind playerbases and the money traffic have so many zeroes that you can’t even fathom the number. Even if I used some metaphorical figure, like 20 000 cars. Shockingly, despite how console sales haven’t really increased in numbers (the top selling console of all time is still the PS2), most of the top-grossing games of all time are relatively recent. This implies that the behaviour of consumers has shifted from purchasing a variety of different kinds of games into purchasing fewer games of fewer different kinds. And I don’t think it’s a case of customers deciding to shift over naturally.

In the past decade or so, the gaming industry has decided sensible experiences are a way of the past, and the future is making games for debt and making back the money with horse armour and other garbage the general public doesn’t really want.

But we’ve seen this shit before. In the 90s, 3D was “the future”, and 2D pixel art or hand-drawn art in general seemed to go the way of the dodo for polygons and ““realism””. About a decade later, 2D art would see a resurgence and in some cases overtake the big lads in lasting impact. In the end, people crave personal stories, varying ideas, and interesting ways to tell them. Not much has changed since ancient Greeks, besides that the medium of storytelling has largely shifted from some guy standing on a stage, trying to explain another world, to electronic devices actually showing us the other worlds.

I think as we play out the Icarus stories in real time, we’ll also learn when boundaries are pushed too far, and the scale of the bullshit simply collapses in on itself. When that happens, the public is forced to step back and reevaluate the ways we thought were the future, and what really is better for all of us.

When a storm flattens a forest of dead, decrepit trees, the sun and rain can now reach the ground and cultivate a new generation of different plant life. Once hidden beneath the dead corpses, now able to grow and bloom in a way the old generation never could. You should just keep doing what you think is right. Now’s the time more than ever to be the backbone of a better industry, for many applications of tech, from games to communication. And it’s better, if the backbone comes from the grassroots, and isn’t defined by the megacorporations. Because those cunts will never learn from their failures.

#monthly blog #“montly” blog #video games #gamedev

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an-aussie-button-masher · 26 days ago

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2024 Gaming Wrap-Up

It’s that time of year again! I’m not talking about Christmas or whatever - it’s time for the yearly Gaming Wrap-Up where we take a look back at the past twelve months in the video gaming world. There’s no need to dwell too much on the real world; we all know how things are going at the moment. It’s a bit rough right now to say the least, but video games are always at least an enjoyable escape and there’s always new releases, updates, announcements and other news to look forward to. As we wind down for the holidays and prepare for whatever comes next, let’s take a moment to remember some of our favourite games and other related events that happened throughout 2024. Enjoy!

JANUARY - MARCH The year had a bumpy beginning for those working within the video game industry itself, as a string of constant mass layoffs from many major development and publishing groups (such as Microsoft, Sony, EA, and Riot) has led to such jobs being on shaky ground for countless people and making their futures very uncertain. The layoffs continued throughout the early half of 2024, becoming a major factor in the strikes that would occur later on. On a more positive note, 2024 had a strong start for most video game releases. The Like A Dragon/Yakuza series continued in Hawaii with Infinite Wealth, the sole developer of the deckbuilding roguelike Balatro was shocked at how enormously popular the game instantly became, and long-time damsel-in-distress Princess Peach finally took centre stage as the playable hero of Princess Peach: Showtime! Meanwhile, some highly-anticipated remakes of Final Fantasy VII and The Last of Us II released, but an awful reception to Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League certainly killed a lot of faith in the gaming corner of the DC universe.

APRIL - JUNE Further along in the year, the 2024 Summer Games Fest was held, continuing to build up as a “replacement” for E3 as the main games showcase event of the year. Several exciting new titles were announced, including Star Wars Outlaws, Civilisation 7, and bizarrely enough an Among Us animated series adaptation! Speaking of adaptations, the Fallout live-action series also released, to be met with near-universal acclaim as a rare actually-good video game adaptation that remained faithful to the source material while telling a strong, original narrative. The second quarter also saw the release of some popular games; Stellar Blade brought us a sci-fi action adventure that was just a tad overshadowed by the fanservice-y character designs, while MultiVersus (Warner Bros.’ fighting game counterpart to Super Smash Bros.) finally reached its full release after languishing in early access for the last couple years. Animal Well was the newest hit indie game, a labyrinthine metroidvania populated by wildlife and puzzles, and the current king of action RPGs Elden Ring received a major expansion dubbed Shadow of the Erdtree.

JULY - SEPTEMBER The video game industry’s turmoil came to a head in the latter half of the year with the beginning of the SAG-AFTRA voice acting strike that is still ongoing as I write this. After a year and a half of failed negotiations and concerns over the threat of replacement by AI voice recreations (as well as pressure from the mass layoffs earlier on), thousands of workers began a labour strike that would hopefully convince their employers to offer fairer negotiations. In lighter news, Sony Entertainment’s attempt to enter the hero shooter genre with Concord resulted in a staggeringly hilarious failure - high prices and unappealing characters led to such a colossal flop that Sony had to shut down the games’ servers and issue refunds within two weeks of launch! Good job Sony. Contrasting Concord’s embarrassment, the release of Astro Bot was met with universal adoration as a clever old-fashioned platformer that thrives on the nostalgia of Sony’s long history of titles since 1994. Following in Princess Peach’s footsteps from earlier, Zelda also got to helm her own solo title with a new entry in the Legend of Zelda series titled Echoes of Wisdom. Meanwhile, Black Myth: Wukong starred the monkey hero of the classical Chinese tale Journey to the West in an action RPG adventure, and Star Wars Outlaws threw players into the depths of the cutthroat criminal underworld of a galaxy far, far away.

OCTOBER - DECEMBER We round out the year with - what else? - The Game Awards of 2024! Astro Bot walked away with a more-than-deserved Game of the Year and several other wins, though it’s not like it had a whole lot of decent competition for it. Of course, the only real reason people pay attention to the awards is for all the juicy announcements and reveals that come with them: sequels for The Witcher, Okami and The Outer Worlds, yet another Elden Ring property, a flashy new trailer for Borderlands 4 that I for one am obsessed with, and a surprise announcement of Naughty Dog’s new space-opera IP called Intergalactic: The Heretic. Besides the award show, the tail end of 2024 also saw some popular releases including the Persona-esque medieval fantasy RPG Metaphor: ReFantazio, while Marvel Rivals jumped straight from the pages of a comic book to finally give Overwatch some truly strong competition in the hero-shooter genre. Finally, while it didn’t quite beat out Fallout in the awards for Best Adaptation, the second season of acclaimed animated series Arcane was still met with outstanding praise.

LOOKING AHEAD So, where does that leave us for next year? We’ve got plenty of highly-anticipated games to look forward to in 2025, which still doesn’t sound like a real year we’re about to enter (what do you mean 2018 was seven years ago!?). It goes without saying that the biggest highlight of the year will be the release of Grand Theft Auto 6, which I’m not entirely exaggerating about when I call it the most anticipated video game release ever. Before that, however, we’ve still got the next few chapters of Toby Fox’s Deltarune and the superheroic hack-and-slasher Wolverine to keep us occupied, but the release I’m personally most hyped for is Borderlands 4 - I still can’t stop rewatching that trailer. Oh, and, there’s also gonna be a Minecraft movie next year. So that’s…something. Maybe it’ll be one of those so-bad-it’s-good movies, but I’m not holding my breath. Not every adaptation can be as good as Fallout. Besides that, 2025 is looking to be an excellent year for the gaming world. So, despite the state of, well, everything right now, just hold on a little longer - there’s always something to stick around for, even if it’s just the next game you want to play. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this look back at the gaming world of 2024, and I look forward to seeing you all again in 2025! Happy Holidays!

An Aussie Button-Masher

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jomiddlemarch · 1 year ago

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A handshake is available upon request

“There used to be offices. Actual fucking offices, doors, windows, generic black and white landscape photography in a black frame because they wanted to be a little edgy, architect-school-wannabes,” Nina announced at the water cooler, which had been moved out of what was nominally the kitchen-slash-lounge, so that it was less appealing to stand around and chat. They weren’t allowed to bring in their own water bottles however, because their bathroom breaks were strictly regulated and a full Stanley on even 50% renal function equaled more time away from their screens than they were allocated. The water cooler had tiny paper cones to drink out of and if you didn’t swallow the whole thing right away, the paper would start to turn into mush in your hand. It wasn’t compostable though, because collecting compost would take time out of someone’s schedule that didn’t generate income.

“Really?” Alina said, keeping her voice lower than Nina’s. Nina was a veteran, relatively speaking, having survived the layoffs in ’18,’19, and ’22 and she wore Grimace purple Converse to the office on casual Fridays. Alina was approaching the end of her 90-day probation and needed to keep the job for the benefits more than anything else. The pay wasn’t great but there was vision and dental.

“Yeah, that was before all this cubicle shit,” Nina said. “If you don’t believe me, ask Gen. She remembers—”

“They said it would build morale. We’d all be interacting and sparking ideas or some nonsense like that. Like they want us to have ideas,” Gen offered. She was a bit more circumspect than Nina, which wasn’t saying all that much. She’d been assigned to show Alina the ropes the first week and fortunately, they were becoming friends. Well, work-friends. “They also took out all the vending machines except the one on the 24th floor.”

“The one with the ancient turkey sandwiches?” Alina said.

“Doesn’t ever need to be restocked, does it?” Nina said.

“We’re all just drones now,” Gen said. “Look what they did to David—”

“He was lucky he didn’t get fired for finding that loophole,” Nina said. Gen could get ranty about David, whom she’d had a crush on for like a year and who barely spoke to her, even though everyone could tell he was interested. “It’s worse what happened to Alex. That’s an absolute fucking nightmare.”

“What happened to him?” Alina asked. She’d seen Alex around, a tall, impassive dark-haired man with a close-cropped beard in the standard corporate uniform—charcoal or navy pants, button-down, no tie, cross-body nylon satchel—though she’d thought if he ever smiled, he’d probably be quite the looker. Not that he’d ever look at her, just one step up from a temp.

“You know he basically built the place from the ground up, but I guess he was over-leveraged, there’s some rumor about his mother being in a crazy expensive assisted living with like a private nurse, but he doesn’t talk about her. After the takeover, he couldn’t afford to leave or he wouldn’t, there’s no real agreement on that part, and anyway, they took his top floor corner office and stuck him on 11. He’s got a door but no windows, can’t even keep a goddamn aspidistra alive in there,” Nina said.

“Shit, there’s tattle-tail Tatiana and she’d coming over,” Gen muttered, then plastered a broad and clearly fake smile on her face, ducking her chin slightly to make her pony-tail bounce. “Hi, Tatiana!”

“Your reports ready to be filed?” Tatiana, the ostensible division supervisor, said. She looked lacquered, like she’d been manicured head-to-toe and left under the UV drying lamp a little too long. She didn’t smile but made some kind of smile-adjacent expression that showed her teeth. She must have the high dental plan because she clearly had caps.

“Just about,” Nina said. “Talk to you later, Alina—”

“After work,” Tatiana said. Nina nodded, then winked at Alina when Tatiana turned to squint across the floor at the cubicle Matt sat in, his blond head towering over the felted-composite wall.

“Yes, I was just going,” Alina said, though Tatiana had lost interest and had pivoted, obviously intending to walk over to Matt and find some reason to interrupt him. He’d play up his Norwegian, acting like he didn’t understand her, when Alina knew he was completely fluent in English, but he’d figured out it was the easiest way to get Tatiana to move along without getting saddled with additional work.

“Alina, maybe you can do me a solid? I left a folder on 11,” Nina said. “Can you run it down for me before you finish your break—”

“Break’s only 10 minutes. You better hurry,” Tatiana said.

“Of course, not a problem. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, right?” Alina replied as cheerful as a cartoon princess slogging it out in the forest with gnomes or dwarves or a nosey bunch of rodents, aware it was Day 84 and that she needed Tatiana to sign off on her or at least not have a reason to dump her. She was also aware that Nina had no folder, but that there was an office supply closet with the folders they used on their floor and that it was right next to the only office on 11. The office that evidently belonged to Alex, former CEO, now cooped up with a withering aspidistra. He could maybe use a cup of what passed for coffee in what passed for a general collegial friendliness, if you discounted that they worked in a cold steel skyscraper engaged in the soulless corporate grind.

For @iamstartraveller776 who suggested Evil Universe Trope "no coffee-shops, bakeries, florists...only cold steel skyscrapers in the soulless corporate grind" and with thanks to Severance for making it mainstream :)

#darklina #evil universe AU #soulless corporate grind AU #you can also watch Severance #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #nina zenik #genya safin #david kostyk #baghra morozova #sort of pre-darkling but that's the real heart of it #ficlet #modern AU

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askagamedev · 2 years ago

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Which game studio you would like to work for or is a dream come true if you can work there?

Once upon a time, I used to have dream projects and franchises I wanted to work on. I desperately wanted to work on the next game in the franchises I played and loved growing up. I had all these ideas and passion for them. Eventually I actually got my chance. I went to work on some of them. I got hired by one of the most well-known studios in the world. I was pleased as punch to clock in, work on an enormously famous IP and project, enjoy all the perks of the studio, and go home. It felt super duper awesome to be working on the thing players were excitedly talking about on the internet.

Then I was let go in a big layoff. All of that self-worth I had tied to my job and the project I was working on evaporated in an instant. I had to find another job. So I did. It wasn't as glamorous as the one I had been let go from, but it paid the bills. Then another opportunity came along and I changed jobs again.... and then again, and then again. I worked at studios that were big and well-known and I worked at studios that were much smaller. I worked with some real amazing people that I remain friends with years later, and I worked with some real jerks.

Over time, I came to the realization that the project I was on and the studio I was at didn't actually matter all that much. What mattered far more to me were the people I worked with. I care far more about having a legit dependable team that I can trust to challenge my ideas and work with me. I care far more about having a boss that I can trust to have my back and respects me. These are worth far more to me than any dream franchise or studio with amazing perks.

Today, I find myself again working on an enormously famous IP at a studio with some pretty great perks but, in the end, a job is still only a job. I'm a little older, a little wiser, and no longer putting as much of my self-worth into the name of the game I'm working on or the studio I'm working for. Make no mistake, they're quite nice and I do appreciate them... but my priorities have changed. I like the team I'm working with and I like my boss, but I also know that we're probably heading into a global recession and there are tech layoffs happening all over the place. I'm no longer chasing the dream project or the dream studio anymore... now what I value is more realistic - some stability with a team that respects me and I can respect in return.

But if you must have an answer from me for what my dream studio is... I think I'd like to go work for Atlus on the Persona franchise.

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#game career advice #working in the game industry #career advancement #my own experience

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aita-blorbos · 1 year ago

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AITA for concealing a huge impending promotion to my coworker/best friend?

For context: I'm basically the only reason this friend has this job, though simultaneously, he's very much a factor in me being at the point I'm at, too. As in promotions I've already gotten since he started. It's an office job, the kind that tbqh we're both very privileged to have. Like where the title you have doesn't actually give you that much more responsibility (sometimes it gives you less) but it does give you more money kind of job, and we get paid on salary.

So I've been here like a decade. I worked my ass off to move up the ladder. He's been here a couple years and thanks to me he's basically speedran all that to a position very adjacent to mine. I'm kind of his boss but I'm just one of many people who'd have the authority to fire him, if I wanted to? And that group of people has actually recently gotten a new member, bc our company is getting bought out. There were a lot of layoffs happening as a result, even to the degree of both of us worrying about the possibility of getting fired. Like REALLY worried. We've even gotten closer in recent months specifically trying to plan together about what to do to prevent that from happening. I'd already have called him my best friend before but I guess I'd say that if I had any doubts he'd say the same, they're gone now after that period of time. This is relevant bc it's part of why each of us thinks the other is the asshole, I guess.

Anyway, nevermind all that worry, apparently my leadership skills are admirable enough for the new big boss to specifically want to move me up a LOT. I wasn't expecting it at all. New boss revealed this in an otherwise kind of relaxed "meeting," too, where it was just the two of us, and where nothing was formally promised. So I frankly had a sense that it wasn't quite set in stone. So when my friend asked about what happened in this "meeting" a few minutes later, I didn't tell him about the specific good news. But I DID give him a vague, *truthful* reassurance that we'd be okay and wouldn't lose our jobs.

So here's where it gets into that HE could possibly be the asshole: In his words, he was afraid that I was overconfident or mistaken about how likely we were to keep our jobs, or whatever. What he does like RIGHT after I give him that reassurance is go to eavesdrop on the new boss. and then pass on some sensitive information to other people in the company who could actually affect a major shareholder meeting. I obviously can't go into detail but the info he passes on is the exact kind of thing that had the potential of costing me, really US, the job(s).

Before any kind of meeting actually happened, I found out through a third party that he'd essentially tattled. I was unbelievably pissed. We got into a bit of a physical scuffle that I started. I'm not proud of it, but he hit me back, so I feel we're even. And we still did get the promotion in the end. The conflict that remains is this argument we keep coming back to: about why I "wasn't just honest about good news"/"why I tried to scare him"/ "why I didn't trust him", etc -- vs why HE didn't trust ME! I didn't want to risk leaking sensitive information (which he went and fucking did anyway), and also, I frankly wanted to surprise him. And he totally robbed me of the ability to show him *I* swung it for us.

I know how I sound but I do feel he went behind my back. Ultimately it didn't actually mean anything but that's still what he did. Meanwhile he of course feels that I gave him no choice but to do that. His defense includes that he was just trying to save his own job (tbqh he did stand to have like over half his salary docked), which I respect in the scheme of things but as it relates to us two, personally, I wanna win this argument. Which of us did worse?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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exitrowiron · 2 years ago

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What are your thoughts of all the layoffs announced by the tech companies? How would you navigate this if you were laid off or not from one of these companies?

Great question!

Unfortunately I'm not surprised by the tech layoffs. Before I retired in early 2022 my company was regularly losing good (and not so good) software engineers to Microsoft, Facebook, Salesforce and Amazon. The compensation offers were off the charts and I didn't believe it was sustainable. I didn't blame them for leaving, but the compensation seemed too good to be true and in my experience situations like that rarely last (ex. real estate prices going up 15% year after year).

Although some tech firms had begun to announce minor trimming of their work force in Q3, it seems like Twitter really opened the floodgates. Now more companies could follow and once all the big tech employers were cutting, there was less risk of losing the most valuable, talented staff to competitors. My heart goes out to anyone impacted by the layoffs, but I firmly believe this disruption is temporary and talented software engineers will be in demand for a very long time.

What would I do if I was laid off?

Set a deadline (no more than a week) by which time you will stop feeling sorry for yourself, etc. Most people can probably think of reasons why they shouldn't have been cut, but it doesn't matter any more. Accept the unfortunately reality of your situation and get to work.

Take advantage of any outplacement services offered by your former employer, especially resume writing. The last time I sent a resume it was read by a human. That's not the case today. Make sure your resume has the necessary key words to get past the AI screener.

Work your network - personal, college, family, previous employers, LinkedIn. It still helps to have someone recommend you to the hiring manager and/or recruiter. At the very least it may help secure an interview. Don't be shy about telling people you've been laid off. Anyone with any professional experience knows that this isn't a personal shortcoming. Layoffs can happen to the best employees.

Get your financial house in order. Do a cash-flow forecast and assume you'll be out of work for six months. Eliminate/minimize unnecessary expenses but be sure to sign up for COBRA medical coverage. Don't let a mountain of debt accumulate - take part time gigs if you need to.

Update your skills/certifications.

If you're a software engineer, make sure your profile/projects in GitHub are a positive reflection of your skills.

What would I do if I wasn't laid off?

I was a senior executive in the corporate travel industry before and after 9/11 and the financial meltdown on 2008/9. In both cases business travel plummeted and the survival of the company required layoffs. Unlike the tech companies today, we weren't guilty of mindlessly pursuing growth at any cost, but we had to do layoffs just the same. I helped determine how many cuts were necessary across the company and had to layoff members of my team. In each case we tried to minimize the number of layoffs by cutting expenses/compensation at all levels.

When laying off people it is important to act with as much empathy as possible and to try to do it all at once, rather than leaving the remaining employees with the fear that their job may be cut later. It just as important to be fair - HR has to carefully review the recommendations to make sure that no group (especially protected groups) is being unfairly targeted.

As an executive who hadn't been laid off, I had to accept that many current and former employees would view me as one of the bad guys. In a situation like this, people need someone to blame and for some people that person was me. Layoffs destroy or at least significantly degrade a company's culture, impact productivity, damage it's reputation with customers and potential employees and it takes a long time (years) for those things to recover. Time, patience and genuine empathy are required.

Regardless of your job situation, it is a good habit to update your resume every year. Your CV shouldn't keep growing longer, but you should keep it current with your latest accomplishments while trimming the details of past.

Thanks for the question. Hope that helped.

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f0point5 · 9 months ago

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Kelly remind me sooo much of an ex boss 😭 she's also a nepobaby but pretty useless so she got a job as a team manager with an assistant which was the one doing all her work, poor dude. She got herself pregnant by a junior that worked there and he was like 6 years younger than her and when they broke up the baby was like 4 months, she dropped the job and move to her mother's country (her dad was the one who got her the job) and like a year later the owner's kid started working on the company and she reappear and started flirting with him in front of her ex who pretty much didn't see his kid because he don't have money to travel to another country, the owner's kid is even younger (he's like 22 i think?) and the poor kid stayed with her grandmother, dad try to sue her and got himself layoff 😬 but she did bring the kid to the country but now she's a "tiktok mommy influencer" and lives with her new boyfriend, the owner's kid is pretty nice and help him get a job and he can visit his kid now but lordd that woman is trying really hard to pass her kid as the owner's kid even though the dad is very present she always post talking about how her new boyfriend is basically the kid dad because he's been with her more (who fault is that??!?), funny enough the kid adore her dad. I don't work there anymore but I still watch her tiktoks and talk with my ex coworkers 🤭

Random story time.

I, as a nepo baby, used to work with another nepo baby, except she had higher nepo cred. This girl was the dumbest person I’ve ever met to the point I honestly couldn’t believe she was real.

Anyway she developed a stalker crush on the same guy I had a crush on and he totally hated her and he told me that but I couldn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to know how I knew that. So I was stuck listening to her talk about trying to get his attention even though I knew she had no chance and it was hella weird.

She quite seriously didn’t know what dial codes were. So crazy.

Wonder what ever happened to her 😂

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nickgerlich · 10 months ago

Text

Take A Hike

It has been a rocky year for many companies, thanks to their visible support of marginalized groups of customers. In our supposedly enlightened times, there are still people who find it difficult to just overlook what they don’t like. When I saw news of REI’s recent new unisex clothing line, I knew there would be an uproar.

Not because I wanted to see one. I just knew it would happen, because the outdoor equipment and retail company used verbiage that was bound to upset some. When you use words like “nongendered,” you know what’s going to happen next.

And boy howdy, did it ever. I checked REI’s Facebook page, and there were a lot of minds exploding, people threatening never to come back, and overuse of the laughing face emoji. Cue the over-reactors, and prepare ye to duck.

Naturally, there were people who did not read the attached article that explained their rationale. It’s not like they are making the entire store nongendered. Not at all. They will still have men’s clothing and women’s clothing. But they will also have a small line of activewear that is aimed at both, not in a shoving-down-your-throat kind of way that detractors love to decry, but just simple recognition that some things truly can be unisex.

As I have made clear before, I love REI. We just shopped the Orlando store yesterday, several hours before I stumbled upon this news item. I had even remarked to my wife about some hydration running vests about why would there even need to be men’s and women’s versions, other than possibly color variations. Oh, the cultural influences here. We have color-coded so many things, but all arbitrarily.

Now before I continue, I do recognize there are numerous biological differences between the sexes, and it is possible that women, whose shoulders tend to be narrower than those of men, might truly need a somewhat down-sized running vest. I get that. The same goes for backpacks, the kind needed to do the Appalachian Trail, as my sister-in-law is preparing to do this summer. And I also know that when it comes to pants, our builds are very different.

But what if it is just running clothes, like shorts and t-shirts? REI has gone out of its way to allay sizing fears by showing on a chart exactly what each item’s size might mean if you are a man or a woman.

REI is known for its popular #optoutside hashtag, as well as being among the first retail chains to stay closed on Black Friday. It urges both its employees and customers to go take a hike or something fun, rather than dive into the stress of holiday shopping. But the chain has also faced headwinds of late, and has endured two rounds of layoffs as it battles to maintain profitability.

I love REI’s store operations. Their liberal return policy means I can return something up to a year later, even if I have used it. The 10% patronage dividend for members is a great bonus. Currently, it costs $30 for a lifetime membership to get this benefit. I have been a member since the 1990s, and don’t remember if it even cost anything to join then. I just get my annual dividend every February, and then go shopping again, which is precisely the kind of store loyalty they seek.

The takeaway, once again, from the current uproar is that no matter what you do in the digital era, it is humanly impossible to please everyone. Furthermore, since the chasm between left and right is widening, it means you are going to get some negative reactions that are just vulgar. And, that kind of hatred can come from either side of the aisle.

I wish REI well with this new line of clothing. I also hope they can survive their current problems. They are striving to do good things, and if ever I see them or anyone else doing something with which I disagree, I will lean back onto my mantra: If you don’t like what you’re seeing, don’t look.

As for the current naysayers, I think they too should take a hike. Holler at me if you ever want some company. Just leave the negativity at home.

Dr “It’s Time To Roll” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #REI #retail #unisex

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