#i know some of you aren't doing so well all the time and that's okay! don't stress yourself over it. it will be better again
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Ayyy, there seems to be a lot of older people among the regular commenters of this blog so I'm gonna shoot my shot and ask for advice.
Idk if it's just the clinical depression but I can't help but feel like I'm never gonna find love as a straight girl. I don't hate men at all -- I've been very lucky to be surrounded by decent dudes growing up but shit. Lookin at the state of the world rn... Gen Z dudes chugging misogynist bullshit at alarming rates, women like Gisele Pelicot going through unspeakable shit from their own husbands... it's hard not to feel cynical. On top of that the decent dudes I know irl are all taken, I don't wanna go on dating apps, and as much as I wanna fuck an older man no decent one is gonna settle for a depressed young woman who's a 4 at best...
It's not that i don't have fulfilling friendships or that I don't value them, I just want to love and care for (and get dicked down by) a decent guy who feels the same way. I've always wanted that and I don't think it's changing anytime soon. Feels impossible though. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (I'm plain faced at best, no fashion sense or charm to speak of, though I do my best to be polite and kind) or there's just shit going on I've no control over.
--
People will give you a lot of placating nonsense, but the reality is that the supply of reasonably okay straight women is much higher than the supply of reasonably okay straight men. Finding a fulfilling long-term relationship is always hard anyway, but man... straight guys really need to step it up.
That said, a lot of people in general and straight guys in particular learn a lot from the breakdown of their first marriage/long-term relationship. Just because a guy is listening to godawful manosphere podcasts today doesn't mean he's never going to be dateable later.
Research on dating apps suggests that your average guy responds to pics where women have a lot of makeup on by looking for a hookup, passes by the ones with no makeup, and finds the ones with a little lipstick or something but not heavy makeup the most dateable.
While it would be nice if appearance didn't matter, if you're really worried about this, there are some basic things you can do where you'll get a lot of bang for your buck: Find one lipstick you can stand and learn to apply it. I like Bésame Cosmetics because I am a nerd and they sponsored a local film noir festival. Peggy Carter's lipstick was from them. They have the advantage of being intensely pigmented, so a quick swipe gives full coverage. I hate having shit on my face in general, so that's helpful. If eye stuff is less bleurgghhhh than lip stuff, learn to apply eyeliner instead. There are some liquid ones I really like even if it takes some practice to get decent at painting them on. You don't need a full face of makeup or really much of anything to read as Hot Girl™ to people who don't know anything about makeup and aren't paying much attention. Yes, even if you're a 4 and it's not just the depression talking.
Charm is hard. Some things can be taught, but a lot of that's innate. Fashion, however, is not. You don't need to be a fashionista to look better than a lot of the people around you. Save your money for fewer, better outfits. Buy things that fit well and get things tailored. Don't settle for ill-fitting clothes that don't make you feel good. Look for natural fibers and clothing that will last a long time. (And if you think you have sensitive skin that cannot handle natural fibers, you need to go up several price points on your cotton. Just saying.)
You can also increase your chances by doing activities where you meet more people who might be a good match. This means finding hobbies that actually have straight guys in them and going to in-person things where you meet new people. (This sounds obvious and pedantic, but I cannot tell you how many women I know who want a boyfriend but only do social things that are 95% women and 5% gay men.)
But the biggest thing you can do to stand out is... well... work on that depression. Self confidence and obviously being in a good place in your life are very attractive. Also, the good catches who haven't been snapped up tend to be the quiet, shy people. If you have your own shit together enough to detect and pursue them, you have a better chance of finding someone great.
I get that ~fix your depression~ is not helpful advice, but working on yourself in both important and relatively superficial ways is something you can control. Meeting the right person is not.
It might help to look at this as a 5-10-year goal and/or a lifetime goal, not a "Oh my god, my life sucks this year" problem. Yes, there's shit going on that you have no control over, but if that's your career and mental health and so on, you can work on that and be in a different place in a few years.
Frankly, I think a certain amount of cynicism is warranted, but that doesn't mean there are no decent guys or that you'll never find one.
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sorry this category is a bit of a mess- some aren't that short but they are all smutty! you can find the rest of the posts under the tag 'grapejuicebluesrry 2024 fic rec'.
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love, lust, and everything in between (9K) by Thisishowitends
“After everything you’ve done today,” Louis pauses, grabbing both of Harry’s ankles and spreading his legs further apart, leaving everything on display, “You deserve to have your legs tied up too.”
Or, Harry is greedy, and Louis did not train his sub to be a brat.
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Like Waters Poured Into One Jar (17K) by jishler | @jishlerfics
“Haz,” he said, “do you like being held down?”
Taking a shaky breath, Harry finally looked Louis in the eyes. “I think so.”
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taste on my tongue (just can't get enough of you) (4K) by messyjessy08
“Babe?” Louis asks, running a hand through Harry’s hair, soothingly. “What is it?”
Harry shakes his head, teeth digging into his bottom lip, sharply. “My—it’s—”
Louis’ eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What, Harry?”
He pulls a hand up to his chest, pressing hard against one of his pecs, “My fucking—her crying’s making them—Lou.”
Louis gasps, understanding. He reaches a hand up, pushing Harry’s aside, and thumbs gently across Harry’s nipple, somehow already dark and swollen, without having touched them once. “Harry,” He says in a low voice, chest rumbling at the sharp gasp Harry makes.
“Lou, they’re fucking—’m leaking.”
(Harry and Louis just had a baby and it's been a while since they've had sex.)
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And I spend my time trying not to feel it (but what would you do if I went to touch you now) (14K) by refusethyname
It was now Niall’s turn to spin the bottle and after a swift spin, it landed on Harry. That familiar glimmer Louis had seen in Niall’s eyes before this evening made its appearance once more and Louis knew he was fucked. He wasn’t sure what Niall was planning, but it sure as hell was going to involve him as well as Harry.
“Oh Harry,” Niall grinned, clearly amused, “your challenge tonight is that you have to call your right-hand player ‘daddy’ for the rest of the evening.”
Everyone’s eyes shifted from Harry to Louis and it was then that Louis realised that he was Harry’s right-hand player.
Or the NYE fic that involves a lot of pining, a drinking game and a daddy kink.
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In Your Wettest Dreams (26K) by Anonymouis
Harry knows Louis wants to sleep with him. He’s been trying to get into his pants from the night they first met, and when that didn’t work, he took second best and fucked his ex. The more Louis tries, the less Harry wants to sleep with him.
If he’s being honest, though, he's always wondered what Louis is like in bed and he probably would have slept with him by now if he wasn’t such a twat. He’s heard the noises that come from Louis’ room anytime he’s brought one of his conquests home. See, that right there, is the issue. Louis thinks just because he’s devilishly fit, charming, soft but hard in all the right ways, and captain of the bloody footie team, he can have anyone he wants. Sadly, he’s not far off base, but Harry promised himself that Louis would never have him.
“Do you really want me to leave you alone, Harry?” Louis asks, crowding into his space until his toes hit Harry’s.
Harry swallows hard, losing his composure for just a second. Then, staring directly into Louis’ sparkling blue eyes he bluntly says, “Yes.”
“Okay,” is all Louis says.
Or: The one where Harry gets stuck on Louis’ lap on the ride home from a night of clubbing.
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you can choke her (if she's asking) (11K) by l0vestruckharry
Placing himself beside Harry, Louis hovered over him, observing how beautifully debauched he looked. His hair was messy, his eyes almost bloodshot from crying, and his mouth puffed up and delightfully bruised. Louis let his hand carefully touch him, tracing his nose, his lips, and his jaw, admiring him.
“Pretty little thing, always so good for me,” Louis murmured quietly. His fingertips were now sliding down his face, following the line of his slender, long neck, caressing his collarbones before trailing down to the rest of his body.
“Stay still for me, baby. Let me touch you.”
or, harry interrupts louis during a meeting, parading around the office wearing an obscenely short dress. louis takes full advantage of it and punishes harry accordingly.
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Colorful Hearts (20K) by Larrysmomfics
In a world where orgasmic emissions change color depending on the person’s mood, Louis Tomlinson’s semen has only ever been blue. At the recommendation of his doctor he attends a support group for people with similar conditions. The leader of Colorful Hearts, a therapist named Harry, is positively swoonworthy and sets Louis at ease right away. Needless to say that Louis isn’t aware yet that so much more than the color of his spunk is about to change.
OR
The Rainbow jizz fic, a mood ring orgasms AU
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discover more fics under the cut!
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Can't get my fill, so I'll take yours (3K) by CopyofaDreamer (DaysLikeMasquerades)
Harry wants to make Louis cum until he passes out.
Louis wants to feel Harry fill him up with more than just cum.
They compromise and do both.
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In-flight entertainment (6K) by lunarheslwt | @lunarheslwt
A flight is a rather inconvenient place to be when Harry is desperate to relieve himself, until the desperation gets turned into something exciting by Louis. Aka watersports ensues.
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Fuck You Better, Baby (12K) by larry_hiatus | @larryhiatus
When Harry is spotted at a bar with a mystery girl, Louis is determined to prove that he’s the only one who knows what Harry really needs. He’s in for a surprise, however, when Harry shows him which of them is actually the needy one…
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Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before) (3K) by red_panda28 | @red-pandaaa
Leo’s frown. His attempt to call after Louis. Ed saying he was surprised to see Louis here. All those little moments fell into place the moment he spotted Harry Styles.
Harry Styles, his former bandmate.
Harry Styles, who he hadn’t seen face to face in over three years.
Harry Styles, who was technically still Harry Tomlinson-Styles.
OR
Louis and Harry run into each other at the Euros, there's a mix up at the hotel and they have a past
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i’m not ever going back (4K) by angelsueavenue
It’s Harry’s first time going into sub-space, and when he gets Louis as the alpha who’ll be fucking him into it in front of a camera for millions to see, he knows there’s no other insanely gorgeous alpha he’d rather have take care of him.
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Bittersuite (2K) by mygirlcrush | @pinknblueforever
louis needs to calm down after the euro 2024 final..........
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SHE (11K) by blessin_n_curse
“Doll, come here,” he says, patting his lap.
It’s needless to say that Harry almost flees down the stairs. He doesn’t care that he might seem – probably seems – overeager. Who wouldn’t do the same if Louis were to invite them to sit on his lap?
The one where Harry tries his best to be a brat. Or the one where Louis can't stop fonding over his baby.
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hello, lovers (3K) by eynap | @panye
Name: Shawn
Age: 24
Pronouns: He/him
Desires: light praise kink, light daddy kink
Oh. He could do that. Probably pretty well, too. Niall sits up on his bed a little taller and adjusts his headphones, pressing the green accept button.
Or, Niall is a phone sex operator at Hello Lovers hotline, and Shawn is his last caller on Valentine’s Day.
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let me see how wild it get (17K) by alwaysxlarrie | @alwaysxlarrie
Harry's success rate with being able to orgasm from masturbation was abysmally low, but she was determined to get there. She tried to actively avoid thinking about the fact that her best friend, Louis, had offered to help her if need be. Key words: tried to.
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Wake Up All Wet (like we're dripping in gold) (9K) by larry_hiatus | @larryhiatus
Harry tends to wet the bed sometimes. His boyfriend Louis secretly finds it hot and likes to get off with Harry’s pants while Harry is in the shower. After Harry accidentally gets Louis wet too one night, Louis’ secret alone time doesn’t go quite as planned.
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subverting expectations (2K) by disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface
“Do you have a cigarette?”
If Harry thought the question would shock Louis, she would've been wrong. Louis doesn’t even look startled, even though it’s the first time one of them has spoken. She smirks at Harry in the mirror.
“We’re not supposed to do that anymore,” she says, her raspy voice full of mirth. Like she’s amused at Harry or something. “It’s bad for the paintings or whatever.”
“And you’re not a bad girl,” Harry says, turning to face Louis. She leans her hip against the counter, determined to both gain the upper hand and not think about why she wants to. “Right?”
Harry goes to the ladies’ room at the Met Gala expecting a cigarette and a break from the boredom. Instead, she gets Louis.
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never just the tip (6K) by journeytothepast | @suckerforhome
Harry believes alphas can't control themselves. Louis proves him wrong.
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drain me (6K) by boyfriendstages | @boyfriendstages
Harry’s obsession with Louis is perfectly normal. Until it’s not.
or, saltburn bathtub scene inspired smut with lots and lots of long buried feelings.
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Let Me Be Your Last First Piss (6K) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) | @loveislarryislove
“You fucking planned this, didn’t you,” Louis growls against Harry’s mouth. “Knew exactly what you were doing from the first picture, you little shit.”
Harry laughs, his breath warm and soft against Louis’ face. “Only partly,” he says again. “I was just drunk and lonely and pining and wanted to send you a dick pic that didn’t seem like I was just sending you a dick pic.”
“So sending a pissing pic seemed more normal and casual?”
Harry digs his nails into Louis’ scalp, making Louis shiver. “I didn’t say it made sense,” he says, “just that I was crazy into you and drunk enough to do something about it.” He shrugs. “I wasn’t expecting to discover I had a piss kink along the way.”
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Booked and Busy (9K) by InsightfulInsomniac | @insightfulinsomniac
Booking the Away from Home Festival is the biggest opportunity of Harry’s up-and-coming career to date. It’s just an added bonus that the festival is hosted and headlined by his longtime celebrity crush, world-renowned rockstar Louis Tomlinson.
Despite his excitement, doesn’t expect Louis to watch his set. Or to visit his dressing room ahead of his show to wish him good luck.
Or to flirt with him.
But seeing as this is the most monumental night of Harry’s life to date, he might as well make the most of it.
***
A fluffy, smutty PWP where Harry performs at AFH 2024 and gets a lot more than he bargained for.
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baby, you're my only reason (6K) by zouisclimax | @zouisclimax
Harry's famous and Louis' a big fan.
or, "you're a celebrity and you just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie and said "date me" and you thought i was serious?" au
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stop the world ('cause i wanna get off with you) (12K)by devilinmybrain (venomedveins) | @thedevilinmybrain
Five times Louis and Harry get walked in on at the worst time, and one time Louis makes sure they don't.
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We're Not Who We Used To Be (7K) by jaerie
Louis comes back to his childhood home and sees an old friend who has changed quite a lot since the last time they saw each other.
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the relentless barrister (10K) by louisplumpyass | @louisplumpyass
Barrister Louis overhears his neighbour making explicit comments about his husband, Professor Harry. Fueled by a mix of anger and protectiveness, Louis decides to confront the neighbour, but not before he passionately reminds Harry who he belongs to.
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Only Angel (5K) by starryhaze | @starryhaze28
“If I’m an angel, what does that make you?” The angel asks.
“A sinner,” Louis answers.
ʚɞ
or the one where Louis is in Japan and stumbles upon a boy wearing angel wings
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Peeping (16K) by jacaranda_bloom | @jacaranda-bloom
Louis hates his job as an accountant and desperately wants to be a teacher. Of course, that would mean going back to uni, which he can’t afford if he wants to keep up the mortgage payments on his house. It’s Niall that suggests Louis gets a housemate.
Harry is great around the house, loves cooking and cleaning, and everything is fine, lovely even. That is until Louis locks himself out of the house, and in his attempts to get inside, he stumbles upon Harry wanking to a video of Louis playing footy.
OR Louis has a thing for his housemate, Harry is under the impression that clothing around the house is an optional extra, and neither of them seem to be able to stop wanking long enough to get their shit together and admit their true feelings.
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Get Out of My Kitchen (3K) by cc_horan28 | @cc-horan28
“Get out of my kitchen,”
Harry quickly stalked over, poking his finger into Louis’ ribs. “Lou, you’re- I’m trying to cook over here. Out of my kitchen. I mean it. Out. Take the whole bloody block of it if you must but don’t-”
“Your kitchen, huh? Say that again,” Louis challenged, tilting his head to the side, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
OR
The one where Harry has had it with his husband interrupting him, but he isn't having any of his cheek.
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Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Is (3K) by InsightfulInsomniac | @insightfulinsomniac
Harry arches an eyebrow in his direction. “You really think I’m going to keep the match on while you fuck me?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Louis mutters, but he’s grinning and quick to make amends. “I’m only joking, darling. Whatever you want.”
“If you had said the match was good, I would’ve sucked you off while you watched.” Harry replies airily, enjoying the groan that he pulls from Louis. “I am kind about the Euros. But since you said it’s boring, I figured I’d turn on something more interesting.”
******
Harry and Louis fuck in the back of the car on the way to the Euros. They use the television screen for more than a little background noise thanks to Louis’ private folder.
Aka an indulgent PWP inspired by Louis’ recent Instagram story.
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I Like to Watch (9K) by larry_hiatus | @larryhiatus
If there’s one thing Harry loves, it’s watching his husband Louis get fucked by other men. After picking up a lad called Zayn who is baffled by this concept, the three men are in for a wild night.
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Lose myself between your legs (2K) by lunarheslwt | @lunarheslwt
Louis has a thing for Harry’s thighs, especially Harry’s thighs in tights. Written for day 7 of kinktober, prompt: intercrural sex, slick kink.
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Feryt: Tangled by Sensations (1K) by littleohs | @littleohs
“Breathe.”
Even after listening to Louis, Harry couldn't do it. His breaths were erratic and he took the hand the alpha offered him with trepidation, as if he was going to disappear at any moment. He clenched his body and the sensation made his eyes fill with tears, his jaw clenched tightly and the burning spread even further in his gut, endless.
or, day two of kinktober: figging
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i'm going out tonight (3K) by disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface
Louis hasn’t been appreciating his boyfriend Harry. He only realizes it when Harry takes matters into his own hands.
Inspired by Bejeweled by Taylor Swift.
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I Can't Change (But I Wanna Be Yours) (19K) by Cy_v
He was being ridiculous, he was well aware. He’s started to feel like he’s back in secondary school, for fucks sake. It’s just a tiny tattoo, being done by some random, completely normal, not at all excessively hot, or hopelessly irresistible-
“You still ok, Haz?”
And ok, maybe Harry was lying to himself. Because that? Using his nickname on him? Well that should be illegal. But Louis was still looking up at him, the poster child for innocence, and he was waiting for a response. So Harry tried his best not to choke on his tongue.
...
Or the one where Harry has anxiety and let's Zayn talk him into getting a tattoo, and that's fine except for the fact that Louis is his tattoo artist, and well…
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I just wanna be yours (wanna be yours, wanna be yours) (3K) by Dreaminrainbows | @dreaminrainbows
Harry studies his sixteen year old self’s face for a long moment and it's truly pathetic how in fourteen years nothing has really changed.
He's had enormous success throughout the years, has a couple of Grammys to prove it, yet he'd still be Louis Tomlinson’s vacuum cleaner in a blink of an eye. Louis does like his coffee hot and Harry would gladly be his coffee pot.
He groans again, throwing his phone to the other side of the bed. He's been trying to get a grip on himself for the past fourteen years, the only grip he's gotten is on his man.
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i'm a couple glasses in (3K) by justanothershadeofblue (zjofierose) | @justanothershadeofblue
Harry winds a finger into one of the curls that grazes his shoulder as he stares at the jars of colored ribbons on the table in front of him. Pink, black, orange, green, and white. Red, blue, teal, and yellow. Each ribbon a different color, each ribbon a different…permission. Encouragement?
Harry pulls at his lip, considering.
Pink, he thinks, at least for the evening. A pale blue. The braided blue, white, and green. And… he lets his hand hesitate over the jar, then takes a deep breath and shoves it in.
Yellow.
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Bearing secrets (2K) by lunarheslwt | @lunarheslwt
The door, to his horror and illicit thrill, was ajar. He shouldn’t have paused. He shouldn’t have taken a better look and known just how wide open it was. His eyes shouldn’t have strayed inside to peek at the view.
So maybe Louis was to blame this time, but he felt entirely helpless.
Whatever Louis had been expecting to see, whatever he could’ve imagined, it wasn’t this. His mouth hung open, throat going dry.
Because there was Harry, on his hands and knees, stripped naked. Hovering over a giant bear plushie with his knees bracketing it, hips moving slowly. A plushie that in fact Louis had won him at one of those stupid fair games. Louis’ attention fell traitorously to his hard cock that was being pushed against the soft, fuzzy material with each thrust, and a shiver ran through him.
Oh my god.
Or, Louis’ curiosity gets the better of him, and he finds out a few things about himself and his flatmate. Written for day 3 of kinktober, prompt: voyeurism.
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My Friends Would Like You (Just Not In The Same Way That I Do) (9K) by j_klmnop
“Is that—“
“A piercing? Yes.”
On your knees is probably not the best way to meet a new neighbour.
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angel in my eyes (2K) by 28goldensfics | @28goldens
“You are devilish aren’t you?” Harry purred, instinctively licking over his bottom lip as his hands went to adjust the headband of devil horns from Louis’ costume to fit back centered in his slicked back hair.
“Oh, but you,” Louis stepped one small step forward so that their chests and hips began to meld together and his hands danced their way to his back and followed the curves down over his arse. “You’ve just been my angel all day, haven’t you?”
or the halloween pwp where louis and harry aren’t quite ready to take off their costumes
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keep feeding my soul, and i’ll fall apart (5K) by boyfriendstages | @boyfriendstages
Harry realizes he’s gone into heat early in the middle of performing Medicine, and promptly has his Alpha casually cross the world to help him through it.
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Shaking In The Shockwave (4K) by LetTheMusicMoveYou | @letthemusicmoveyou28
Harry looks up then at the tall building in front of him, as people rush past him on the pavement all around. It looks like any other building in London. Then again, he isn’t exactly sure what he was expecting.
A neon sign on the side of the building proclaiming SEX HOTEL maybe?
Of course there is no such sign, instead there’s just elegant gold lettering that reads: The Suite Spot.
Harry had rolled his eyes when he’d first read that name, but he’s always been a sucker for a good pun. ‘A luxury hotel experience that will have you coming again and again’ the website had read.
It felt a little too on the nose, but then again, Harry’s the one that sought out the website in the first place so who’s he to judge?
(Or the one where Harry is still reeling and heartbroken after discovering his fiancé has been cheating on him. So in a moment of desperation, he decides to spend the weekend at a self-pleasure hotel. As it turns out, the gorgeous blue eyed man at the front desk is more than willing to help distract him).
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Makes Me Feel Alive (8K) by hazzahtomlinson | @itsnotreal
Louis hated when people came in to get tattooed and couldn’t sit still— bunch of fucking squares is what they were. If only that had been the issue for his newest client.
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Lights Go Down (10K) by SilverStuff50 | @silverstuff50
Louis is in need of the perfect dom, and the best dom in the club has just parted ways with his regular sub. Can Louis be the sub Zayn wants?
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Fire (9K) by eversincezourry | @eversincezourry
Harry is Louis’ pretty girl 🎀
#grapejuicebluesrry 2024 fic rec#2024 fic rec#fic rec#larry fics#hljournal#tracking happily#tracksintheam#trackinghome#larry fic rec#ao3 feed larry#1d fic library
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I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;
I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;
Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic
This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????
In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...
3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....
4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?
WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"
And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.
I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.
This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!
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Henlo, Merry Christmas my lovelies!
I hope everyone is having fun, got what they wanted, enjoying time with their families (or if you're alone or with your furbabies what have you, that you're doing well too! <3)
I'm still working on inbox requests! But please accept this mini headcanon christmas post from me <3
Astra's First Christmas in Hell!
Astra: This is insane....I cannot believe that happened.... (walks into her room with several gifts in hand but sweat running down her face)
*loud knocking and pounding on the other side of the door*
Satan: Astra, open up! I'm not done with my gift yet...!
Mammon: There's so much more where that came from, my love, my treasure. Those small gifts won't suit you.
Satan: Will you shut the fuck up? It's MY turn you had her all day yesterday...
Mammon: Oh? If I'm remembering correctly we both had her yesterday.
Astra: (slides down her door) Listen, I love you both. Please give me a minute. I'm so overwhelmed.
*Astra's phone buzzes suddenly*
[Beelzebub: Hehe, did you get my gift Astra? Make sure you eat all of it properly for the full effect. Meet me at the club later <3]
[Bael: Don't eat that. P l e a s e]
[Belphegor: Aye, Astra! Merry Christmas from me his Maj, Belphie. He's dozin' off per usual. I ain't had time to wrap your gift so come by soon to pick it up. We'll be waitin'.]
[Agares: Don't bother showin' up darlin' I'm coming to you to bring over my gift.]
Astra: How do they know who's texting at the same time???
*phone buzzes more*
[Lucifer: Merry Christmas. Make sure to use the throat spray Buer made. It will help with the soreness.]
[Leviathan: I guess I should formally send you a Merry Christmas text. Even though you should be here in Hades so I can you to your face. I'd like to see it when I also tell you your gifts are trash. None of them are from me, which you aren't getting any.]
[Foras: Pst, Miss Astra, His Majesty doesn't want to tell you, but he has a gift here for you. Visit Hades soon please :)]
Astra: (sighs) Well, today would be a busy one huh? I wonder if I can visit everyone today...
Mammon: (still on the other side of the door with Satan) Do you need a ride? I can take you~
Satan: My motorcycle is faster. We can ride in style. You can't come Mammon you won't fit.
Mammon: Of course. Your tiny bike is way too small. I'm surprised you have room for Astra. Her ass alone is-
Astra: OKAY I GET THE POINT. We'll go later....
*phone buzzes again*
[Asmodeus: Hi dear <3 Look up from your phone for me?]
Astra: Huh? (looks up to see Asmodeus naked in her room except there's a present box over his crotch)
Asmodeus: Come see what I got you~ (winks as the box twitches)
Astra: I would ask how you got in here, but I already know the answer. I think uh...I'll open my gift another time.
Asmodeus: Awh, really? I spent a lot of time making sure it's to your liking...I heard you like..."double" the amount of fun.
Astra: Asmo...did you?
Asmodeus: Yes <3
*the door is suddenly splintering and cracking from Satan ripping at it*
Satan: FUCK OFF ASMODEUS GO AWAY.
Astra: ......I at least hope Minhyeok is doing okay and that Ppyong delivered my gift....
Meanwhile on Earth
Ppyong: Minhyeok!!! Bestie!!!! Merry Christmas, aye! I come with good news from Miss Astra.
Minhyeok: ??? Is she coming home!?
Ppyong: No....but she sent gifts, aye! Here!~ (pulls out a small bag from his belly pouch that suddenly grows larger once it hits the floor)
Minheyok: Oh...(pulls out a locket that has a photo of him and Astra)
Ppyong: Isn't it cute, aye? Miss Astra had the necklace custom made in Tartaros! Real gold, aye! I'm super jealous.
Minhyeok: Astra...I wish she was here so I could thank her properly, I- (he suddenly sees another gift, a book and a pair of panties inside a sealed bag) Eh? What is this?
Ppyong: (grins) Me and some of the nobles made this for you, aye! Take a look...
*Minhyeok picks up the book to realize it's a collection of lewd photos of Astra professionally took by Phenomenon*
Minhyeok: !!!! Ppyong...this...this is indecent....does she know you did this? And what are....these panties?
Ppyong: Those are special panties, aye! Miss Astra had those on during her Christmas Cold, so she came alot while wearing them, aye! I save them for you as her scent was the strongest during that time.
Minhyeok: (blushes heavily while confused by the term "Christmas Cold" and the fact she "came" in them repeatedly) I, uh....
Ppyong: You'll be happy to know she called out your name during, aye! (flies around happily oblivious the fact that Minhyeok is close to passing out being overwhelmed with information)
Merry Christmas, ya'll <3 Lol Astra has her hands full apparently with everyone hitting her up and Asmo being himself as usual. Plus is sounds like Minhyeok got some pretty awesome gifts 👀💀
#whb#what in hell is bad#jwhbrandom blurbs🖤#merry christmas ya'll#whb headcanons#whb oc#whb kings#whb nobles#christmas in hell
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Marcid - (adj): withered, incredibly exhausted
Geto x Gn! Reader. Tw! Intrusive thoughts, mention of taking one's life. Comfort/ angst. A short drabble
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. The ticking of the clock and his heartbeat move in sync. Sleep, it's all he wants at the moment but it doesn't come, he doesn't allow it to. Tick. Tick. His heart slows down when he dozes off, so much so that at times he feels like it may stop, so he stays awake.
The hard marble floor steals his warmth, but he can't bring himself to move. A gentle tap on his shoulder pulls him back "Suguru". He knows it's you but he looks anyway. He's a total mess, but it's not the tied up hair and the dark circles on his face that alarm you. It's the look in his eyes. Dread, anguish and something else, you almost wish that they were empty instead. Wishing that he was numb instead of feeling so deeply.
He quickly averts his gaze before you could analyse him further. "Aren't you going to bed?" You spoke softly, yet the words sounded loud in the otherwise empty room. "Huh- oh, right" he sounds so unsure, you're not convinced that he even heard what you said. Everyone else had headed back to the dorms, even Gojo. You did too, that's what he guesses judging by your sleep attire. That also means that you came back just for him.
"I'll be there...in a minute". Not wanting to leave him alone, you take a seat beside him, shoulders and thighs touching, sharing some of your warmth. It made the throbbing in his bones a little less painful. "It's finally the weekend, we can just sleep all day" you say in a light tone after some beats of silence. The promise of a break is supposed to make him feel better, but it doesn't because it isn't true. They'll spend their weekend exorcising curses. He's so sick of it.
His gaze is fixed on an invisible force in front of him. "If by sleeping you mean battling demons" he mumbles dryly. Demons that didn't even belong to us. You let out an amused huff, stretching your limbs and resting against the wall "well someone's gotta do it no?". Did you even realize what you were saying? That vile, churning feeling starts to bubble up in his stomach again. He glares at you through his peripheral silently. He couldn't even get mad, just look at who he was speaking to. You've made the sacrifices, took punches and lost sleep to do your work, time and time again he's watched you throw so much away. And for what? for the sake of those.... non - sorcerers.
"Those bastards don' t deserve us" it's a quiet, muttered statement, but it slipped out anyways. "Geto!" Of course he wasn't okay you knew that, but it never crossed your mind once that resentment might be what's killing him slowly. "I just- what if we burn out?" he shifts to face you completely, grabbing your arm "hm?".
The words you want to say stick to your throat like bread. "What are you saying? we don't get to burn out-". The physical reaction he has stops you immediately, and he lets go of your arm, not meeting your eyes. "I-" you sigh quietly, the previously comfortable silence became heavy. You place a hand over one of his resting on the ground, running your fingers over his knuckles, his heart lurches. "Is that what's been bothering you, Suguru? is it getting too much?".
He shakes his head. "I don't want this, i can't do it anymore". When he makes eye contact again, he's met with understanding and affection, one that makes him feel safe, like he could tell you anything, he can. Your other hand moves to his face, finger pads running along his jaw. Suddenly everything for Geto is too much, the clock was too loud, the floor too cold, his skin too hot. When your hand shifts and you have your palm against his face instead, his lips press to the delicate skin of your wrist. His hand placed on the ground allows you to thread your fingers together, and that's how it is for a while. If it was up to him, he'd stay like that for the rest of the night.
You suck in a sharp breath "you should get some rest" you whisper. He doesn't reply. He wanted you, so bad that it was awful. These thoughts, they hit him out of nowhere some days. Violent, nefarious thoughts that cause him to lose his dinner. However, they always get quiet when you're around, when you laugh or keep him company. You reduce his monsters to mere pests that he can manage for a while. It almost makes him feel like you can fix him. Almost.
"Come with me?" He murmurs into your skin, eyes still shut. You look up "to your room?" That wasn't a good idea, but the night was freezing, you're tired and his thoughts are deafening. Without giving an indication or reply, Suguru simply rises, hand still hooked unto yours. "just come with me" he murmurs again, heading to his room and taking you with him.
Tangled limbs, and gentle caresses. His shirt is discarded and replaced by your touch, his hands slip under your clothes, but that's as far as it goes. When that dark place starts to claw at his feet once more, he presses kisses all over you. His lips connect with your neck, your nose, the corner of your mouth, focusing on how tender you feel. He only stops when he catches a glimpse of how you're looking at him. "What?" he breathes out, oh how he wanted to kiss the crinkle in between your brow and watch it disappear, he wanted to kiss all your worries away. "I feel like i'm losing you" you say quietly.
His face twists into a grimace, and he rolls off of you, laying on his back and running a hand over his face. He felt like he was losing himself, too, but he couldn't say that. He's so tired, it's kind of tired that sleep won't cure. He has thought about running away, leaving everything behind, leaving you behind. To make the thought even more unlike him, he's accepted the fact that he might have to kill to live the way he wants to, lives would have to be lost, and sometimes he feels like he's willing to make that sacrifice. To make that sacrifice for all of them.
You turn. Getting on top of him this time. Your fingers find and undo the clips keeping his hair together, untangling his unkempt locks. He chases after your touch, wanting to feel more of the things only you could make him feel. His mind wanders once more. There's always the other option, the one he's been trying to avoid. Going to sleep, maybe the next time his heart starts to slow down he'll let it, maybe he'll speed up the process, rip it out of his chest and squeeze it until it stops beating, until he stops living. But then what? He'd get away, and you'd be left here, heartbroken, a part of him hopes. But unhappy, and nothing would change, it had to change, he was going to change it.
The feeling of your fingers against his lips pulls him back, and he looks at you with a half lidded gaze. "Hey, we'll be alright" you say quietly, the words sounding loud in the otherwise empty room. Liar. He doesn't say it. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes. "Oh you're wrong, you're so perfect...but you're so wrong" his tone is breathless, like it's painful to speak. You brush away his tears, and you lean down to capture his lips with yours.
A strangled, choked up sound slips out of his mouth, and he pulls you close, fingers exploring the expanse of your back. The kiss is slow, and the most softness he's allowed himself to indulge in, in a while. You were kissing his worries away, if you tried hard enough you could scrape together his broken pieces, and place them back into the order he's lost.
You can't fix him entirely, though, and he hates himself for it. But for now you can ground him, prevent him from losing his mind and losing even more of himself. That night, the lines between friendship and something more intimate are blurred. And no matter what you call yourselves after this, you have each other.
Habromania - (noun): delusions of happiness
#it's been a while#This is more geto than it is reader my bad#I did this in the span of twenty minutes#clap#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto x reader#geto x y/n#suguru x reader#geto suguru x reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk angst#suguru angst#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen angst#geto angst#geto suguru angst#jjk season two#anime#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#writing#geto x you#jjk geto#jujutsu geto#jjk suguru#jujutsu kaisen suguru#jjk fanfic
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General Thoughts on Buried Secrets (Hello Neighbor)
Not sure if I'd classify this as a rant post or not. Spoilers ahead, obviously.
If some of my points don't make sense, we can discuss it in the comments. It's 1AM by the time I'm writing this post, so forgive me if the text feels all slammered and not cohesive.
Took me a decade to finish it, but the secrets were unburied (like Jay would say).
And holy crap, I have pretty strong feelings about this book.
Okay, it's not that bad, but comparing to the previous two... it felt flat. I don't know how the explain it in more cohesive terms, but it didn't hit the same way the previous two did.
First, I like the ending. Though it ended on a pretty sad note, this is exactly what the Nicky trilogy (it feels surreal to actually type that) was leading up to.
The very prologue of Missing Pieces is a warning for Nicky to stop wandering, else he'd not make home some day. Nicky's character in general is centered around that: wandering.
"Oh, but what happened after he got kidnapped? What about Nicky's friends? How did he escape?"
Questions like this come from a misunderstanding. The books aren't meant to be your introduction to the lore. They're meant to be an additional piece of information, for those that were curious about the world of Hello Neighbor and wanted to know more about the past.
The true story is told in the games. Make no mistake—Hello Neighbor is a gaming franchise. The story originates from the games.
The ending of Buried Secrets is one-to-one with Act 1 for a reason. You're meant to read these books with the knowledge from the games. So that when you read the trilogy, you went: "Oh, so that's how it happened."
At least, this should be in theory. The sad reality is that games just fucking suck in storytelling and gameplay, to the point where the actual plot is shoved aside for other matters. That's why, in most cases for fans, the books act as an introduction to the story of the games, instead of how it should be in the other way around.
This is why Buried Secrets ends in this cliffhanger way. It's a prequel of the games, but it isn't meant to be an introduction. It's meant to be an additional explanation. You can blame the games' lack of quality for this.
Anyway, I liked the ending because it tied up Nicky's wandering arc in a pretty neat way.
... And that's it. That's literally the only thing that I like about this book. Everything else feels forced just to reach this specific ending.
I'm not sure if Carly was forced to make this a trilogy, but either way this definitely harmed the pacing and plot. Every character is written in a specific way that feels a little unrealistic based on the previous books.
See, Nicky is supposed to break into Peterson's house alone, without the help of his friends. Their method of justifying this is by having literally everyone in town suspecting that Nicky was the one behind the weird activities. No matter how illogical that seems.
My biggest complaint is Maritza.
Like, I won't lie that she isn't reasonable at first glance. Maritza is tired of fighting. She wants to move on. She thinks Nicky is changing for worse because of his obsession with the case. This is all understandable.
The problem is, instead of trying to convince him to move on, she would rather believe he did all of this to frame Peterson specifically? Despite knowing what Theodore's capable of, she'd rather believe that her closest friend would lie to everyone just to convince them of something they were already certain (that Theodore is fucking dangerous)?
I get they tried to apologize to Nicky by the end of the book, but it's too little and too late. Yeah, Peterson framed Nicky in an ill-timing, but would Nicky's only friends believe he'd actually do all of this ALONE?
It just doesn't feel natural.
The beginning and middle part of the book is literally Nicky getting kicked around like an abused puppy and being lonely again. The latter chapters, as well as Jay and Lu, kinda hard carries the entire book. Earthpro is not as interesting as it was in Waking Nightmare. And Buried Secrets tries really hard to get you to hate Trinity and Maritza with the "we are changing clubs" thing.
Overall, I wouldn't say It's a bad book, but definitely the weakest and most surreal among the three.
#hello neighbor#hello neighbor books#buried secrets#missing pieces#waking nightmare#theodore peterson#nicky roth#maritza esposito#rant post#kinda#idk man#it's 1 am#i don't even know what I'm writing
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Hello!!! This is a Sadistic Beauty request, I was wondering if you could write a fluffy trauma recovery fic where the reader helps Minho to heal and comforts him after a nightmare.Just lot of cuddling,verbal comforting,praises,pet names or any thing similar to that. Basically Minho getting showered with lots of love.
I hope your having great day btw 💜
(Warnings: mentions of rape, non-con sex, nightmares, choking, breaking bones| FRICKING SHORT.)
© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.
Heart tells bad tales..
Minho stayed on the floor, his eyes scratched and raw by his own hands as Wookyung smirked over him, Minho's panic caused bile to rise in his throat. Every single cloth on his body was torn, nipples piercings on display for Wookyung's sick fantasy.
"Are you fucking cryin'?" Wookyung asked, smirking as he shoved Minho's head on the floor, rubbing his cock on Minho's hole gently making Minho also throw up but he kept it within him,
"It-Let me go..Ple-please!" Minho almost begged, no matter how pathetic he looked, he could see and feel your sight on him from the chair you sat on a few feet further away..you just looked..disappointed.
He couldn't stand disappointing you, but he was forced down, his foot broken as he tried to crawl away from Wookyung who only tightened his grip around Minho's throat, blocking airways as he simply forced himself inside Minho's holes, as Minho simply felt his dignity slip away.
Tears clouding in vision as he choked to try and get some oxygen, his head started to go dizzy and blurry as he felt his chest suffocate-
No! This couldn't be happening, NO..! He was losing you, but it's not his fault! It's NOT his fault!! Why aren't you helping!?
"Minho...!" he suddenly opening his eyes, breathing heavily as he turned his head a bit, you were sitting there gently shaking him in your pajamas as she you gently rubbed his tummy, helping him sit up.
He swallowed, trying not to shudder as his mind replayed the image of Wookyung. “I’m fine,” he breathed, “It’s fine. I’m fine… Go back to sleep.”
You promptly sat up, groggily switching on the lamp on his bedside table. “Not buying that. Did you have a nightmare?”
Your voice was soft, endearingly scratchy with sleep and understanding. Minho suddenly couldn’t keep his eyes from welling. “…Yeah,” he whispered. “Can you hold me?”
Reaching up to gently ruffle his hair, you nodded. “You didn’t have to ask, Min, come here.”
With that, he shuffled over, burying his head in your neck. “I don’t want to talk about it yet,” he mumbled, eyelashes fluttering against your skin as he tried to withhold tears.
"Don't want to talk about it-" he said immediately, his eyes tearing up as he leaned back on the bed, propping yourself on your elbow a bit as he laid his head on your chest to listen to your heart-beat, trying not to cry. He was a man after all!!
But he couldn't stop them softly crying into shoulder chest, neck and shoulder, anywhere he could reach easily, his hands digging into your back to make sure he was okay,
"Woo-Cha...He-He was hurtin-" he could barely formulate words as he cried more so you gently ran fingers through his hair, "It's okay..You don't have to tell me.." you whispered
Mnho felt himself relax slightly as her hands found his messy hair, his breath shuddering as he tried to keep himself from sobbing,
His voice cracking every time he tried to speak, so he kept quiet..As your finger ran through his hair or on his nape, Minho leaned into the touch, his head instinctively falling to the crook of your neck again.
Your fingers running through his hair as he whispered out what happened, as you nodded to everything he said, pecking his lips and kissing him when things go too bad and he couldn't form words.
"Shhh, I know-It's okay. You're doing so good." yu whispered as he cried, trying to get out words..You gently let him drink water, gently patting his back, hoping he was feeling okay..
It's not the usual habit of nightmares, it's hard to forget how his dignity was stolen, how he was forced into things he shouldn't have ever felt..But he could almost feel himself be happier with you..
#navi⌗writes⌗#navi⌗answers⌗!!!!!#sadistic beauty x reader#sadistic beauty#byun minho#manhwa#sadistic beauty side story#sadistic beauty x you#sadistic beauty x y/n#sadistic beauty fanfic#sadistic beauty headcanons#sadistic beauty scenarios#byun minho x reader#byun minho x you#byun minho x y/n#byun minho headcanons#byun minho scenarios#byun minho fics#manhwa x y/n#manhwa x you#manhwa x reader#manhwa headcanons#manhwa imagines#manhwa scenarios#manhwa drabbles#manhwa fanfic#manhwa fic#byun minho sadistic beauty#cha wookyung
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okay im writing this at 2am while I bet on losing dogs is playing not a great mix.
OKAY here we go sensitive topics(?) consisting of self-harm
tacopad and SOME tacomic I guess
Sometimes i wonder how Mepad or Microphone would react to Taco self-harming, I like to think they immediately comfort her, no matter how many times she says she doesn’t need it, or doesn’t want it. They would keep sharp objects away, but since Taco can hide things in her shell, blades on those sharpeners aren’t safe nor are pocket knifes. The two would try EVERYTHING to keep her away from blades, but would end up with new scars on her wrists/thighs.
Taco doesn’t know why she doesn’t this, she doesn’t like it, yet she continues. She hides her arms with hoodies and long sleeved shirts. Summer is a hellhole for her, either having to wear arm warmers, or not going out her room. No one has seen her scars, not even Microphone and Mepad. Though they have caught her, everytime they try to bandage the wounds, she hides her wrists away.
ok im actually so sorry if this is very different from what i usually put here, and im sorry again if this topic makes you uncomfortable.
-nori
Hiya, Nori!!!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in a hc!!!!! :] no worries about it being too dark, I love angst!!!! The only type of ask I won't take are sexually explicit ones. I will be putting a trigger warning and a cut, just in case others might be sensitive to it. I do hope you're feeling okay, though <3 I know I'm an internet stranger so feel free to ignore this, but I'm always willing to lend a listening ear for all my ii buddies on here!!! <3 <3 <3
TW: discussion of self-harm!!
I can, unfortunately for her, see Taco self-harming. She has trouble handling and expressing her feelings, a maladaptive coping mechanism such as that is a definite possibility for her, especially one she could pick up living alone in the woods such as self-harm. Especially especially since we get a glimpse into her self-image during Taco's Tirade!! Granted, she is at her rock bottom during the song, but we see throughout season 2 that she does feel bad about her actions!!!! She found herself to be monstrous long before the song, yeah? aaaaaa sorry your ask was about Mic and Mepad finding out!!!! I'll get right on with that!!!
So, I think Mepad would be a lot better about finding Taco self-harming because of his calm demeanor, and his teleportation ability, but mostly his demeanor. Him remaining quiet and soft and calm about it would make Taco herself a lot less reactive, since her feelings wouldn't be amplified by a loudly emotional reaction from him. Depending on how accurate or selective he can be with his teleporting, he could get whatever item Taco is using to harm herself away from her quickly and easily. Despite his understated reaction, of course, he is worried sick. He would not leave her side for a single second for weeks. I mean, I picture them sticking together anyways, but he is extra alert!!! I think he and Taco would do a lot of talking, and he would be very keen on trying to find her other coping mechanisms that aren't harmful. And and, he'd be very discreet about it. He would not tell a single other soul if Taco told him not to, unless he found he couldn't properly handle the situation alone.
However, much to my despair (i was actually crying about this before i saw your ask, funnily enough), Mepad is dead!!!!! So he can not be here to expertly Therapad his way through this. So we have the next best person to take care of Taco when she's in severe distress, Mic!! Who, as we have seen (ex: after lb and testy disappear in s2 ep12) Mic does not seem to do too well in surprising, stressful, and/or scary circumstances!!! Not that Mic wouldn't be a great help to Taco, no no, she would do her best and be incredibly supportive, but she would react more outwardly and, in true Mic fashion, loudly, to seeing Taco self-harming. The classic "What are you doing?!?!!??!!!!!!!" Sort of thing, yeah? I can see her being a lot more proactive in trying to keep all sharp objects away from Taco, since unlike Mepad, Mic has to sleep and thus can't keep her eyes on Taco 24/7.
I can see Taco potentially using self-harm as a form of punishment for herself while she's trying to change. Snapped at someone? She deserves to be hurt. Lied instinctively? She'll train it out of herself by force. Honestly this is pretty aligned with my hc of Taco initially trying way too hard to change immediately post-canon and it taking a huge toll on her mentally.
Ough and her hiding her scars even from Mic and Mepad and keeping them hidden despite all the misery it causes her am I seeing an ALLEGORY right there??? I think I am with her keeping all her feelings down despite how much worse it makes her feel. She's trying to heal and get better, but old habits are hard to break, yeah? Sometimes they come back with a vengeance.
#inanimate insanity#taco ii#ii taco#loomy's answers#inanimate insanity hc#ii mic#mic ii#ii mepad#mepad ii#self harm#tw self harm#tacopad#tacomic
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allison and five are actually fascinating to write together. allison is the sibling for checking on people and asking in plain english if they're okay but five would literally rather bleed out than show a shred of vulnerability
#he gets there eventually but it takes time for the trust to build#eg. viktor gets the apocalypse lore dump on five's first night back (not used to their insane lives so thinks he's crazy)#klaus gets answers if he asks questions (he doesn't) (he's barely paying attention) (ghosts are constantly screaming at him)#but diego doesn't get anything until his friend is killed by the commission. like paying back a debt. because five brought them here#same with five telling luther about his time in the commission after they attacked the house#ben is DEAD but they were probably close. which is. worse. it's worse than if they weren't#(all of five's first picks aren't an option for one reason or another - death; drugs; death AND drugs - which must be very frustrating)#and five. well. he does need to show some measure of vulnerability to get allison on board#that's interesting actually#they have the same driving motivation (I would kill for you/I would die for you/I need you here no matter what)#allison knows loss but five knows LOSS and once he reminds allison that Her Daughter will die too she's like okay screw this what do we do#because wanting to protect your children from harm is NORMAL actually#REGINALD.#the umbrella academy#allison hargreeves#five hargreeves#tv: tua
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Carlos Sainz | F1 London Live in 2017 | x x x x x
#carlos sainz#autumn posts#explored this event last eve and omg so many wonderful moments!!!!#oh to be able to time travel 🚀 surfing the web will have to do!!#also I'll still reblog and post RBR of old and Max related content in 2025 but#wow they have made some immensely frustrating decisions as a company#I do sure despise their upper management!#also tbh I am glad newbies get chances but it seems like 2025 is going to be maybe too many rookies maybe o.o idk I just got here#and I know F1 teams are probably trying some succession planning and lots of new brands hopping on seem geared to younger fans#and I love Gabi and Jack and I'm sure Ollie and Kimi are great! idk them as well yet! and I miss Franco :(((#but idk I'm already missing the older drivers we lost like what do you mean Carlos is fourth oldest he's my age 🥲#idk I like grizzled old men!!!! and drivers who are still in their prime!! 30s isnt old!!! (I know it is in the world of f1 but...)#idk I know big F1 is trying to plant seeds but they're pulling up perfectly gorgeous trees to do so....I just got here too!!!!!!#hmmmm rambling balogna from a new fan#also I dont like watching cars crash so really really hoping the races next year with all these green drivers aren't too bad 🫣#idk I get worried!! and all the engineers and bts folks have to deal with wrecks so#mannifesting safe drives and good starts 🙏✨#and rbr and vcarb are on my shit list for now but the Max blogging will not cease#he and I will both be in our sixties and I'll be here salivating hehe 😵💫✨#gosh dad bod Max 😵💫❤️✨ heaven help me the thirst blogging will be off the charts here#okay enough yapping!!!#wishing everyone a v excellent Friday!! ☀️☁️🌙✨#brb soon to spam F1 Live in London content bc oh gosh what a rich well#also I won't spam too much hehe I'll space it out#also the Little Mix girlies (gn) were OUT at this event so that was fun!!#an insta feed of F1 drivers and a ton of Little Mix bloggers since they performed there! and I like Jade!! I gotta check when her albums out#okay autumn out!!! 🫡❤️✨ bye for now!
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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to all my mutuals out there: i love you and get happy every time i see you on my dash or in my notifications or just your tiny icon in the corner of my screen from having messaged a bit some time ago and i want you to know that you are appreciated <3
#i know some of you aren't doing so well all the time and that's okay! don't stress yourself over it. it will be better again#but know that you are valued and that i care about your wellbeing all the same#if you think this might include you then yes it does. if you feel fondly about me sometimes i think fondly about you too#and if you don't think fondly about me but more annoyed or even indifferent i probably still think fondly of you#doesn't matter if we've been mutuals for 5 years or 5 days i think you're all so very neat#and yes this counts always. i can count on one hand how many times i've been even slightly annoyed at a mutual in all my time on tumblr#because the answer is 0. never once has any one of you been annoying to me <33#and if you ever should be it is MY responsibility to unfollow or blog. that's not something you guys need to worry about#own post#idk this is a lot of stuff in the tags but i just want you guys to know that i actually care about you and want you to be happy
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See, I think the thing about deranged, toxic relationships in fiction, is that everyone involved has to actively choose to walk into or keep coming back to this relationship. That's the interesting part for me. What would make someone, against every single ounce of reason, decide that being in a relationship like that is genuinely worth it for them? Why would someone willingly put themselves in that situation? What has to be going on in their psyche? What do they get (or think they get) out of it?
If the toxicity is one-sided or one party is completely railroaded into the relationship at every turn until they finally cave, or there's some outside force trapping both of them in the relationship and they don't actually want to be there, that's not particular interesting to me, personally.
(Obviously, other people can disagree with this; people have a wide variety of opinions and ways they engage with fiction, which is good, actually. I'm simply talking about my own thoughts.)
#also. and I had a conversation about this a while ago with a friend: the versions of this I gravitate toward tend to be ones that...aren't#well-loved by fandom. there are some examples of Complex Toxic Dynamics that ARE praised and popular and end up as examples of#Love Stories Of All Time. but those are...even if it wasn't necessarily INTENTIONAL. those relationships become palatable in some way#to the wider audience. and. I think you all know by now: I am not interested in being palatable#(obviously there are some exceptions to this: like people really like The Fucked-Up Soulmates from one of the movies of all time di revenge#*do. I'm on mobile & I'm lazy I'm not retyping all that)#(and dr/master has a fair amount of love--even if I wouldn't say it's The™ ship of the fandom at large)#but I think...idk. there are some examples of this where it seems like the creators are trying SO hard to make the toxic romance somehow#palatable or relatable to the audience. or like...done in a way to try and make the audience actively root for it.#and again part of the appeal TO ME. is that the people are allowed to be deranged in ways that AREN'T accepted or (how many times can#I use this word) palatable. or 'likable'. the appeal is that they're on the fringes of society and usually that includes 'within#the fandom/audience of the media they're from'#(I think...also. I just see so many toxic '''conventionally attractive''' white men irl. I'm a lot more likely to enjoy a dynamic if it#involves at least one character who isn't that demographic)#okay I need to go to BED#GOOD NIGHT
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someone kill me, just straight up put me down. my annoying former coworker returned as a volunteer and he annoys me under the best of circumstances but. literally I just said that I don't do dishes that often (meaning not often enough for it to have fucked up my name tag), and he was like "I think it's weird that you would admit to not doing your job" like bitch that's not what I fucking said but okay. And then I was like well I do them sometimes when it's needed and he was like "um..." in that "no you don't way" and said "there were a ton of dishes in the sink when I got here" yeah because I was fucking taking care of birds all day, dipshit! I was feeding our incubator birds every 30 minutes, I did literally all of our outdoor dishes (there was a mountain when I got in today!), I helped catch two very full adult bird outdoor flight cages for weighing and release, I went to release some hatchling turtles, and did all the other miscellaneous cleaning tasks that pile up when feeding hummingbirds. Sorry I didn't have a spare second to do the fucking inside dishes!
#also no shot it was that full because tons of dishes are really only generated in the morning#and one of the other interns was literally doing those dishes when he walked in#because she had the free time to do that#also i literally did some indoor dishes today but okay i guess#oh i forgot to mention I also dealt with our feeder mealworms and crickets#and yeah maybe i dicked around a little bit when I had spare time but it's a 10 hour shift even when im running#non stop between tasks there's still occasionally a moment to sit and relax#also go off mister fucking stood around and talked for a long time with one of the other volunteers#slowing said other volunteer down which is saying something given she's already slow at doing things (meticulous)#and you know what that's the way it has to be sometimes! people aren't machines!#please god if youre real and love me let him have to work every single saturday for the rest of time or at least until january god bless#or do the early morning shift so i only have to deal with him for an hour#i swear i saw him walk in and i was like 'fuck'#iicraft505#also him being there made me irritated so i was slightly rude to my grandma#when she first picked me up#but then i explained myself and was normal#but i mean holy fuck i feel on guard all the time when he's there#not in a 'harm to my person' way in a 'are you gonna say some shit about the way im doing this task and micromanage me' way#like i know i have micromanage-itis but at least im aware and try to leave well enough alone whenever possible#he's aware but doesn't seem to see it as the annoying as character trait that it is#also not that there's a non-condescending way to micromanage but he seems extra condescending#like also have some trust that other people can do things#for christ's sake bro like get normal
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#aren't hyperfixations funny like. i must think and talk about this all day everyone i know should also watch this#and then WAIT ACTUALLY having someone watch/listen etc can feel terribly vulnerable or anticlimactic#or like some of the joy of ohmygod secret new thing just for me disappears right?? bc then it's a Thing#(at least for me all of these can happen to varying degrees for different things?)#and it's just interesting to witness it with friends as well like we watched one of my friends' dnd show today#and she's so down to earth and laidback but she was definitely having conflicting emotions about it i think#and then she was like we'll watch your mafia show too im curious!! and i love her#and also yes/no/yes/no/yes yk? (probably yes HSJSHS)#please read this as lighthearted im just musing but yk#and then getting into your friends' hyperfixations also always feels a bit like intruding while also being exhilarating and fun#and idk it's just interesting to see it go back and forth and i hope im okay about it both ways#(if not please tell me dhdjdjjd)#but yeah!#again this sounds so serious it's all good dhsjshdh and i maybe seem possessive or something and no i wanna share (and by god do i GSHSHS)#you just notice your own/others' reactions and it's Something#ive now repeated myself enough times g'night i hope you're all well <3#tell me about your most recent hyperfixation or interest/fandom if you want <3
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With every passing day I become more and more convinced that by far the most controversial opinion I hold is that Fahrenheit is a perfectly fine measurement system for temperature actually
#'but it's so convenient to have the boiling point of water at 100°'#why?#what are you doing in your everyday life that requires you to know the exact point at which water boils at all times?#does the stove you're boiling pasta on operate to within a single Celsius of heat output?#does your coffee maker/tea kettle have a dial on the side where you can select a specific water temperature?#it was an arbitrary choice don't try to act like it wasn't#'but what about 0 being the freezing point of water that's useful at least'#okay I'll give you that it has more relevance than setting 0 to the freezing point of some specific brine solution#but hear me out:#there's a relatively easy way to know at what point water freezes in any temperature measurement system you choose to use#it's called 'memorizing literally one number and it's significance'#now I'm not saying the choices made about where 0 and 100 are in the Fahrenheit system aren't arbitrary#(because they ARE)#what i am saying is that the choices behind 0 and 100 in the Celsius system are ALSO arbitrary#even if America were to completely throw away the rest of the Imperial system and switch over to metric#(something i fully support don't get me wrong)#i see no good argument to get rid of Fahrenheit as well
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