#i know she slept with men in the show. but repression

[dwellordream]

thoughts on HOTD episode 3, season 2 (spoilers below)

i think the opening scene between the Blackwood and Bracken boys is very well done. some people complained about not seeing the battle itself, but the general audience is not going to care about seeing these minor characters flung into a battle. cutting between an immature, petty teenage fight that then escalates into a pointless slaughter, leaving both sides massacred, does a much better job of showing us how the civil war is going escalate feuds that would otherwise stay barely civil.

Rhaenys lecturing about peace comes across as a hypocritical when she massacred hundreds of peasants during her escape from King's Landing. but i also think it shows that while people like her, Rhaenyra, and Alicent are horrified by the death of highborn children, none of them are thinking in terms of the toll on the smallfolk. they think about the peace between the nobility- not protecting peasants. the deaths of Luke and Jaehaerys are horrifying, as are highborn men and women dying in battle, but not the slaughter or scapegoating of the peasants for the sins of their 'betters'.

the Alicent/Criston breakup seems to be pretty final, though I wouldn't be shocked if they crawl back to each other before the end of the season, more out of mutual self-loathing than genuine love or passion. I think it's pretty clear that while Alicent was attracted to him all along, their affair was moreso both of them venting their frustrations, repressed sexuality, and hatred (or, in Alicent's case, 'hatred') for Rhaenyra, then any actual epic love story.

the scene where Rhaenyra shunts Rhaena off to the Vale to 'protect' the children and their hatchlings is very well done. without a dragon, Rhaena stands no chance of subverting any Westerosi gender norms. Rhaenyra seems to recognize that, but is also prepared to sacrifice Rhaena's happiness if it means giving her sons a maternal figure. I see a lot of meta about how Rhaenyra is a much happier and more affectionate/gentle mother than Alicent, and I don't think that's wrong, per se, but I also don't think Rhaenyra is as comfortable with motherhood as many fans insist. of course, she's in an impossible situation- she cannot be a queen leading a war effort and also a doting parent. but I wouldn't say being a mother is what brings her the most happiness and peace, either. Daemon has disappointed her again and again as a husband and partner, and while her children adore her, they also find her difficult to live up to.

I'm glad there wasn't an epic battle of Daemon claiming Harrenhal. the castle itself is supposed to be an eerie, demonic, almost living sort of abomination, and so Daemon takes it with ease, because that's what Harrenhal wants. the Strongs themselves put up no resistance, because there's no point, and because they know Harrenhal is reluctant to let go of anyone who enters its halls. Daemon comes across as massively insecure and paranoid despite his easy conquest, both because Harrenhal itself unsettles him, and because he knows Rhaenyra's faith in him is greatly reduced.

someone told Freddie Fox to look to Jaime Lannister's depiction in the early seasons of GoT for his inspiration as Gwayne, and I don't think that was a bad idea, lol. he nails it as the smug, superior, posturing knight, and I'm excited to see what they do with him. of course, Alicent uses him as a tool against Criston, and Criston takes the moment to embarrass Alicent by loudly requesting her favor- I would not be surprised if his resentment towards her boils over by the end of the season, and he begins to loathe her as much as he does Rhaenyra.

I think the scene between Aegon and Aemond in the brothel was very well done. Aegon is probably right when he claims Aemond has only ever slept with the very first prostitute Aegon forced him to 'sample'. emotionally, Aemond is still that stunted, angry, frightened little boy who loathes being laughed at and wishes people feared him. he refuses to directly challenge Aegon out of a misplaced sense of duty and decorum, but has no issue humiliating a sex worker to preserve his own pride.

Daemon's dream sequence in Harrenhal is fantastic. it's the kind of thing GoT refused to engage in because they thought it too silly or esoteric, but I think future ASOIAF-related shows need to lean into the supernatural, not shy away from it. embrace the fantasy of the setting, please! and of course Daemon's ideal version of Rhaenyra is still a naive, impish young girl- who hasn't seen his flaws or his cowardice. he wanted the dream of a happy, perfect Valyrian family with Rhaenyra, but reality is far harsher. he's abandoned his children and made his wife out to be a kinslayer with his actions.

the contrivance of the Alicent/Rhaenyra sept scene is absurd, obviously. however, i disagree with those arguing that it 'ruined the episode'. it is hardly the most contrived scene in the show thus far, and i can forgive its contrivance because the audience wants- and needs- to see a scene like this between Alicent and Rhaenyra- maybe one of their final conversations in private, ever. yes, Alicent could have seized the moment to have Rhaenyra captured or killed outright, but that still wouldn't stop the war. Daemon and Jace would not suddenly surrender- even if they wanted to save Rhaenyra's life, they would know their own lives would be forfeit the moment they surrendered. and honestly, anyone who thinks it would be more 'in character' for Alicent to have Rhaenyra killed right now is kidding themselves. yes, she hates Rhaenyra- and she also clearly still loves her.

i've enjoyed this episode the most out of all this season. a 9/10, in my opinion, and i hope we don't backslide with the second half of episodes.

[landslided]

Do you have any headcanons for Johnny’s life between the end of tkk and beginning of ck? The show gives us a lot of background for his life before tkk but not so much after that

ANON IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS!!!

but omg, yes of couuuurse i do.

as a slight warning: canon is my sandcastle, i get to reshape it as i please, this might not be totally accurate to the info given by the show but i! don't! care!

tw: alcoholism, sex work mention, sickness

johnny did graduate high school but it was very precarious. bobby and jimmy pulled through in those last months by making the three other boys study as much as they could, tommy and johnny managed to graduate but dutch dropped out at the last second (and got his GED later, in prison).

johnny enrolled to business school because sid told him this was all he would pay for. he was more interested in a sport related career but sid told him trying for sport coach or exercise physiologist would just be a waste of time.

the cobras had a shitty rock garage band from 1992 to 1994, there are extremely cringe clips robbie would have definitely found and left anonymous hate on. johnny played the bass and sang. (robbie was upset that, yes, it was cringe, but his dad was kinda good)

johnny had messy MESSY relationships for whole of his twenties and the start of his thirties. he had a pretty serious girlfriend after his short time at business school but they broke up because he absolutely did not want her to meet his mom and it started a huge fight.

johnny also DID have relationships with men because i am of the #BiJohnnyAndAwareOfOIt school at least as he got older. he was extremely repressed in high school but had an awakening in his twenties. he and the cobras did fool around when they were younger but only johnny really seems to have stuck with it. (take that as you want)

(meanwhile to ME daniel larusso was aware that he liked men as a teenager but it didn't really become an issue until he was an adult and he is now creating levels of repression totally unreachable by the common man)

okay back to the question: johnny dated/slept with a few guys, mainly it was casual sex because he accepted he wanted to fuck men, he less accepted that he could also fall in love with them. he did have a pretty serious boyfriend who broke up with him to get married to a woman and it made johnny SO FUCKING UPSET (he couldn't really??? express it?? like yeah okay dude, it's chill we basically lived together but yeah go marry her i mean it was just fucking around right?) that he crashed the avanti. when he asked sid for money to fix it, sid said no and took the keys.

johnny had a bunch of jobs going from handyman to server, to basically anything under the sun that could pay his rent once sid threw him out. i do believe jhnny was a type of sex worker for a while although im not sure what and i don't think he stayed long.

johnny and laura were very close but as he got older, he started looking more and more like his father and it upset laura a lot.

he and shannon met in a bar, she was scamming guys out of their money at the pool table, johnny saw her and was like... i need to know her.

they WERE in love, it was genuine and real for a while but very quickly they understood they were too similar and couldn't have an actual relationship without devouring each other. they did continue to have sex for a long time because they trusted each other and stayed friends... until robbie.

when shannon got pregnant there was a moment they didn't know if it was his and johnny was like, even if its not mine i will help and it would have probably been easier for him to step up if it hadn't been his kid. shannon did a test, robbie was his kid and the mess started there.

laura got sick and it was long and agonizing. johnny tried to save face but that's truly when he started drinking (he always had a drink problem but this was the breaking point), shannon had robbie and johnny crumbled.

shannon and johnny tried to get back together for robbie but they did end up doing what they were afraid of doing: destroying each other.

for a while johnny was forcefully admitted to a psych ward by bobby and it worked as rehab for about six weeks but the moment he got out, it got worse.

meeting miguel is what saved johnny's life in many ways, however, meeting daniel larusso back in high school and then seeing him again at the dealership is what gave him the drive to keep trying (absolute spite)

[gh0stboy]

💣 Adam • If you could get one Peaky character as Confirmed Gay (or bi, queer, lesbian, trans) who would it be?

p o l l y

i will never let go of my need for lesbian pol i will take it to my fuckin grave man

[maidenvault]

please talk more about the weird psychosexual vibes in The Batman because I felt troubled by some of it but it also felt hot?

Oh my God, so. I’d say what makes it work despite having an uncomfortable dynamic at parts is that Selina’s the one who is so transparently into him and always initiating it when they kiss. The way her eyes roam up and down him when they first look at each other and again later when she says “I have a thing about strays”...LOL he doesn’t know what to do with this!! And that line says so much about how she instinctively recognizes another damaged person who has been deprived of so much and hides it, who has reasons for all of his giant flaws, which has to be largely what draws them to each other. I love that it’s never commented on by either of them that they’re both dressed up like weirdos. They’ve both been hurt badly enough to leave any sense of normalcy behind in some single-minded pursuit that skirts the law, and it doesn’t need comment or explanation because they both get it.

And it’s such a testament to Pattinson’s performance that you buy her attraction to him even though she never sees his face. It’s unbelievable how expressive he manages to be with the cowl on. His eyes soften so much when he looks at her closely. This is such a unique and strange portrayal of Batman, the more he acts hard and impassive the more this weird vulnerability seems to come through. He’s so repressed and locked inside himself. How can she resist?

It also definitely helps, at least for me, that I think the relationship is supposed to be troubling and there is a purpose to that. There are a lot of parallels between Batman and the Riddler in this movie, and this Riddler is clearly a representation of the gross, radicalized 8chan incel type. When he describes how Bruce grew up safely removed from the common people’s problems and just watching them from his tower, it’s more apt than he could know because Batman has made a whole damn thing out of studying people from a distance and uses his own technology to survey and record them. His detachment from the world around him and resulting bad social skills definitely includes not relating to women very well. He pressures Selina into situations she’s not fully comfortable with, and so stupidly can’t see her discomfort when Falcone talks to her. He watches her changing through her window, obviously not for pervy reasons and really not seeing much compared to what she was wearing before but DUDE NO. (I think it’s interesting, though, that once he’s made himself known to her and wants her to cooperate with him he lets her know right off the bat how long he’s been following her and that he was watching her at her place, by saying something regarding Annika like “She did seem upset.”)

I feel like I have to talk about an interpretation I’ve only recently come across, that what Bruce is really freaking out about re: her knowing Falcone is the possibility that she is OMG a sex worker!! And that the twist about him being her father disappointingly lets him off the hook for his non-empathetic attitude about that. If that is actually what’s intended without the film more clearly saying it (ridiculously, it's trying to not be completely inappropriate for children), then indeed that is exceedingly gross and ugly and can’t really be excused, just adamantly ignored as subtext.

I really don’t think that’s what’s going on, though? He knows Selina didn’t work in the 44 Below like Annika, she isn’t recognized there. When Bruce starts obsessing over whether she might have slept with Falcone, to me it’s clear he’s imagining something more personal than the transactional and coercive situation of being an escort for dangerous men like this, hence the judgment. The fact that the latter, much darker possibility doesn’t even seem to occur to him probably further shows his privilege and cluelessness about women’s experience, and maybe that should have been addressed somehow. But it just seems absurd to think when he’s obsessively replaying the footage of her talking about Falcone, he’s disgustedly imagining that she’s *gasp* been paid for sex. That’s so uninteresting and cartoonishly puritanical it’s hard for me to give this otherwise really good screenplay that little credit. It’s more than that, Bruce is trying to figure out what her deal is and if she’s even a trustworthy person. She doesn’t seem like someone who’d be messing with a place like the Iceberg Lounge out of desperation; she’s a skilled cat burglar and there’s clearly more to her than she’s told him. Bruce is unforgiving of weakness in himself and he is very attracted to Selina despite not being sure he can trust her, so he’s really unfair in judging her based on what information he has as if this can guard him from being femme-fataled. Yeah, it’s sexism. But hopefully not that level of sexism.

After she gets the cash, his ultimate conclusion before she tells him the truth is that she got close to the mob to steal from them. It’s money earned by destroying lives which as far as he can see she took for purely self-serving reasons, and he hoped there was more to her than this. That this was apparently her motivation for associating with such terrible people, selling drugs in the club and who knows what else, is disappointing. It’s definitely a bunch of bullshit how judgmentally he confronts her about it (she just found her girlfriend dead in a trunk, you could at least just ghost her if you don’t like her anymore like a normal person but nooo).

So yeah, Bruce treats her in a fucked up way through some of this movie. But she calls him out on his privileged way of thinking and shows him that other people’s lives and choices can be much more complicated than his have ever been. And honestly, I’m not sure that their connection evolves to much more than sexual attraction until the moment he stops her from killing Falcone. Earlier when he gives her the “Then you’re no better than him” line he is as usual applying to everyone else the rigid moral standard he holds himself to as if he’s just like everyone else (and projecting like hell since he’s just learned how one mistake of his father would have tainted all the good he ever could have done from that point on if he was able to continue a political career). But later he’s empathizing with her, actually meaningfully reaching out to her as someone who is also traumatized, because he cares and killing her own father isn’t something he wants her to carry.

(Then of course not long after she was just strangled by her own dad, she gets attacked by redpilled guy #7 and Bruce very nearly crosses that line himself by fucking murdering the guy and it's maybe the most fucked up and sexy thing in the movie. Put me in jail.)

[utilitycaster]

I have my own personal reasons for why I think the fandom at large doesn't hc Fjord and Jester as bi. So, for a lot of the middle of campaign 2, a lot of people thought that Fjord and Jesters stories might end up involving explorations of heteronormativity in some way. Their backstories did nicely set them up for that kind of thing - Jester, after reading romance novels her whole life, developed a crush on literally the first guy she ever met, which she started to grow out of when it didn't meet her expectations, and Fjord, who showed active disinterest in women and romance, said he hadn't had much experience with women, and seemingly slept with Avantika mostly out of obligation. I don't think people who read the story that way were pulling it out of thin air. But, because of this, the types of people who were likely to hc them as bi got really excited about Fjorclay and BeauJester, and then completely lost interest when those ships didn't happen. Thus leaving all the shipping to be done by people who, for whatever reason, maybe aren't as likely to hc them as bi.

I think I said this in some earlier responses to this topic but I don't agree that that's the cause:

1. It is true that Matt and Laura are real-world people with real world ideas of what romance novels that are influenced by the heteronormative society they and we all live in, but at least in-universe the assumption that "reads romance novels"="only experiences heteronormative narratives" is utterly false given what we know of Marion (ie, openly takes clients across the gender spectrum) and the Menagerie Coast. Like, do people think Artagan is telling Jester no queer narratives? Heteronormativity doesn't actually exist in-universe.

2. I fail to see how Fjord didn't show interest in women and romance. He was uncomfortable with being hit on aggressively by Jester early on, but he himself hit on Yasha in like, the first episode, and no one made him sleep with Avantika the first time. "Discomfort with a topic" doesn't mean "not interested"; it can easily mean "is awkward/insecure/repressed and doesn't know how to show interest in a healthy manner".

Like, I don't think the people were pulling that story out of thin air entirely but it was certainly rather flimsy in my opinion. (Also, worth noting that while this wasn't something we knew during the campaign, Jester developed at least a general interest in a different boy in her backstory comic).

3. Obviously different people have different experiences but actually the people who I've found tend to headcanon Jester and/or Fjord as bi are more likely to be people who shipped them together. A fairly significant argument that was made in favor of Beau/Jester was that Jester was a lesbian and didn't know it (despite, again, Exandria not having the concept of compulsory heterosexuality). You yourself are saying that people thought Fjord had no interest in women - which bi men do, in fact, have, otherwise they would be gay men.

And finally:

I very specifically chose Keyleth and Percy as my comparison for a reason and that's because neither of them were ever shown having any romantic entanglements with women (in Keyleth's case) or men (in Percy's). At most, they tended to attract same-gender interest, and in Keyleth's case indicated that she thought Vex was very cool. Both were only ever depicted in M/F relationships. The same is true for Fjord and Jester, and yet, Keyleth and Percy are both largely interpreted as bisexual to the point that some people thought it was outright confirmed in canon, and Fjord and Jester, while headcanoned as bi by a decent number of people, don't receive that same assumption.

Bisexuality literally refers to being attracted to multiple genders. Like, it's kind of the entire concept. I do not have the time, patience, or willingness to tolerate fools to have any thoughts for people who think that bisexuality only counts if you're in a same-gender relationship other than "go play in traffic".

[hellotoji]

FATHER’S PERFECT LITTLE GIRL - I | V

Toji Fushiguro X fem!reader ; Gojo Satoru X fem!reader ; Getou Suguru X fem!reader ; Kento Nanami X fem!reader

❝I am Father Fushiguro,❞ he spoke again with his deep and measured voice, the grin never leaving his lips. ❝I take it you are our newcomers ?❞

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ You had desperately tried to stay away from the church of the town you’d just moved in - afraid of one of the priest, Father Fushiguro, however, it seemed that he’d always find you.

What you did not expect, however, was for three other men to find themselves interested in you, as well.

WARNINGS: sub!reader, they all have ginormous cocks, dub con, manipulation, age gap, praise kink, degrading kink, corruption kink, father kink, daddy kink, blasphemy, innocence, virginity kink, coercion, religion sex, vampires, church sex, priests, yandere themes, dark themes, threesome, foursome, smut, blood drinking, pseudo-incest, size kink, dacryphilia, pet names, dumbification, BDSM undertones, choking, grinding, dry-humping, graphic description of violence

CHAPTERS LIST

⁀➷word count: 1.7K

CHAPTER — V

part one

YOUR SURROUNDINGS are nothing but a blur as you run. Adrenaline pumps through your veins when you notice the silhouette in front of you growing bigger. Wind violently rushes past your face but you keep going. You're so close, the silhouette—who is most likely a man, older than you, is only within arm's reach now.

You simply have to—

"Wake up !"

You open your eyes and lean up, to meet Nobara's brown and intense eyes. She's not in her sleepwear, she's not in the same outfit she went to dinner in either, she's simply wearing a simple black dress that cinch her waist nicely and falls all the way to her knees.

You blink, tired and confused. You're in your bedroom, in your pyjamas, you realize. When did you get there ? The ache between your legs is a blatant reminder you of what transpired mere hours ago. "Is everything okay ?" You ask, voice groggy, slightly upset.

She bites her lip and looks to the sides before leaning down to whisper, "Follow me."

"Now ?!" You whisper-yell, "But why ?"

She awkwardly caresses her neck, in what you assume to be a self-soothing manner.

You're so hungry. Your throat is so dry.

"___?" She questions when she notices your eyes focusing on her throat.

You swallow your saliva as an attempt to moisten your own. "I—yes ?"

"I've got something to show you. You won't regret it, follow me." She whispers and gives out her hand for you to take.

Hesitantly, you accept and hold her hand as you slip out of your bed.

"It's about 6am, we gotta hurry." She goes on, in the same quiet tone.

The note of urgency in her voice represses the complaints threatening to spill from your lips.

"And you've slept enough already. It's been an entire day."

"That long ?" You ask through a yawn as you walk through the corridors, careful to not make any noise. You truly doubt it changes anything though, in the short time you've been here you've witnessed multiple times how developed their senses are. Yours somewhat are too, if you focus long enough, you can tell where approximately each of them is.

You're surprised when she leads you back into the dinning room. Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you are once again reminded of what you've done. Nothing on her face tells you she knows about it. She opens the service door the waiter used to access the room and leads you to the kitchen. From there she gets to another, bigger door, that is most likely used for deliveries.

She doesn't open it just yet. "I'll leave you now." She turns to face you, there's a small, uncertain smile on her lips, worry wrinkles her forehead.

You blink. "What ? Here ?!"

She rolls her eyes playfully, brief amusement shining in her eyes, "Yeah. I don't want to pry."

Then the door creaks open, so impossibly slowly. You discern a figure on the other side, so still it might be a statue. When the creaks cease, you look up slowly to meet the man's eyes and violent mortification freezes your body.

It's your father.

He's dressed as a cook, in all white. He looks like he hasn't slept in a little while, too.

Your blood runs cold, you truly hope your face doesn't look at horrified as you are. You plaster a weak, wavered smile on your lips but can't really bring yourself to take a step in his direction.

Nobara squeezes your shoulder, she can probably hear how... surprised you are right now. You hope she's the only one. You wonder if it's alright for you to even be out here right now... with your dad.

Your father does the first step, "___!" He calls for you, relieved. He takes a second, third and fourth step, too then reaches you. You have to make the conscious decision not to reel back. He's right about to enter the kitchen but stops so abruptly, like there's some unsaid rule he shouldn't enter their home.

As silent as a ghost, Nobara slips out of the room.

You inhale shakily, "Fath—" you start before two heavy arms prison your body, taking you by surprise.

He's never done that before. It feels so out of character. Dumbfounded, all you can do is gawk at the man in front of you. You freeze, your stomach drops. Suddenly you're not glad you've had sex. Suddenly you wish you could go back.

"I'm sorry I've left you alone." He breathes in your hair.

Guilt pumps in your veins. You're impure, now. Dirty.

You're so uncomfortable in his embrace you have to fight yourself not to push him away. It's oppressing. Do all hugs feel like this ?

"But I know you've been good." He continues, in a self-assured tone as he sets your body free but shackles your mind all the same. You're suddenly grateful it's the night, for that he can barely distinguish the awkward smile on your face, and the way it doesn't really meets your eyes. His hands on your shoulders forces your attention back to him.

"You want to go back home don't you ?" It doesn't really feel like a question. You should want to go back home, and in a way, you do. You want to go back to life before. It was so much easier. His grip on your shoulders feels suffocating and it's caging you as he speaks. "I'll come and get you. I promise, you've just got to hold on a little longer. I know you can do that." He says this so easily, so honestly, like he perfectly understands what you've been through and it nearly makes you cry but there's no way he does understand—and if he does then he's just a horrible man.

Words are stuck in your throat. You can only nod.

He searches for something in his pockets.

Your eyes go to his exposed neck, you feel nothing but more guilt. Hopefully he can't decipher the cause. Perhaps something should click in your brain that you're more scared of your father finding out you're no longer a virgin than God.

"How did you get here ?" You find the voice to ask.

"It was a bit tricky. I had to come at a time when they're already humans in the house so they wouldn't notice my scent, but I did it. I got a bit of help."

"From... Nobara ?" You guess. You truly don't get her. You don't understand how she thinks. Didn't she basically betray Toji now ? On which side is she ? "Is she going to be okay ?"

He shrugs, "I'm sure he's already noticed I'm here anyway. Or he's going to, very soon." He narrows his eyes, "Which is why I don't have time much time left."

"Father." You murmur, playing with the em of your pyjama top, you're not sure if you should be admitting this to him. You're pretty sure he's a vampire hunter, but you hope he'll be able to help you. "I've been feeling weird."

His eye twitches but he keeps on smiling, "We all do sweetheart, we all do." He finally takes out a small black box with a little red bow tie. Your birthday is in 3 months. Saying you're confused would be an understatement.

You sigh, "I mean that weird things have been happening. I—my senses it's like they're sharper and I don't feel as sick as I usually do. Do you think—" you squeak out, voice laced with desperation.

"No !" He cuts you off, shaking your shoulders forcefully. "You're my daughter. You're not a vampire." He expresses it like the very thought disgusts him to no end.

"B-but—"

"Cut it out !" He exclaims, anger and frustration written all over his features. "You're not one of those disgusting and vile creatures." He spits, his voice shaky. "You-you're different. You're perfect." He finishes softly with a deranged look on his face. He smiles. "You and me are going to be perfect."

He scares you a little. You step back.

He catches it and the twisted look is gone from his face, instead a warm smile stretches across his lips. "My daughter, I am so proud of you for going through all of this."

He's proud ? Why does he says it like what's been happening to you is not that big a deal ? He's always been so cryptic, so unclear - does he truly understand how much you've suffered ? How hard you've tried ? Nevertheless you feel so shaken up you could cry. You've always wanted to hear those words.

"This isn't going to be permanent. I promise you. I'll die if I must but you're not going to stay their prisoner for long." He exhales. "I never wanted you to go there but... but seeing how you're nearly ready... maybe it was for the best." He mutters slower, lower.

You feel your gut twisting.

He places the small box in your hands, "My perfect little girl. Open it."

You open the box and it's some kind of... cookie ? Biscuit ? It looks pretty normal. You're just really confused by the packaging.

"Uh... thank you, father. Is that a cookie ?"

He nods quickly, his gaze is... intense, to say the least, "Eat it."

"Now ?"

"Yes."

"Is there something weird in it, because I—"

He scoffs, disbelief overtaking his features, "You're my daughter. Since when do you disobey me ? It a cookie, eat it. Now."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment. You take a first bite and it taste like a regular cookie - but then it becomes salty and its consistency is a bit weird, it's gooey? The entire pastry kind of feels like a mind fuck, to be honest. Nonetheless you go on under the careful gaze of your father who exhales in what seems to be relief when you finish it.

"Okay, now you're going to listen to me, alright ?" He starts, tone slow and tentative. When you simply nod, he continues, "You trust me don't you ?"

Your sight wavers a little, like you can't focus it - but you do notice how much he's fidgeting, like he's anxious.

"I have a plan to get you out of here and make sure we both stay safe, I'll explain it to you." He looks around him, suspicious of people eavesdropping him, "You'll leave with me won't you ?"

Slightly dazed and a bit dizzy you nod again.

The sides of his mouth curl in a deceptive smile.

previous chapter | next chapter

[gaygoetia]

Umbrella Academy Characters ranked by how likely I think they are to be bisexual

Klaus - 10/10 - canonically does not give a fuck about the gender of his partners

Viktor - 9.5/10 - has canonically had romantic relationships with both men and women (that said, the thing with Lester could have been based in heteronormativity/cissexism/a desire to be loved rather than genuine attraction which is why this isn't a 10)

Lila - 9/10 - Tells Diego she has slept with many people since him (doesn't specify men) + says Sloane's science talk turns her on + has the "bisexual bob" + has super bi energy in general

Diego - 8/10 - OK this one is almost entirely vibes but like... Look at him. Anyway if Diego hasn't hooked up with guys it's purely because of toxic masculinity.

Ben - 7/10 - OK this is kinda based on the assumption that sexual orientation is genetic (or at least has a genetic component) but we know Umbrella!Ben had a crush on a girl in season 2 and it's kind of maybe implied that Sparrow!Ben hooked up with Klaus at the wedding? (He also just has big repressed queer energy imo.) Idk man I think he's bi OK.

Luther 4/10 - This one is tenuous lol but I'm choosing to take Klaus's "like you wouldn't climb Luther mountain" comment as evidence that Klaus has at least some reason to believe Luther is into dudes. Is Klaus remotely reliable? No. But it's a step up from nothing.

Five - 1/10 - Speaking of nothing... I'm not even convinced Five is attracted to women. I know Dolores is a female mannequin but she's also... A mannequin. I don't remember him ever showing any attraction to any actual humans. Getting big aroace vibes tbh.

Allison - 1/10 - Happy to be corrected but currently I just don't see any evidence for bi Allison. All her interactions with women (of which there aren't many tbh) are very platonic.

And I think that's all the major characters I care about?

Feel free to comment or reply with your own opinions! (or to let me know if I missed someone important)

That said, please don't take any of this too seriously lol. Obviously you can't actually tell someone's sexuality from vibes alone. Also I don't think most of these characters were intended by the writers to be seen as bi (but that won't stop me) This is just for fun.

[j-amespotter]

★ august [pt. 2] - s. b.

“i never needed anything more.”

Pairing: Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader, Regulus Black x Slytherin!Reader 

x. x. x.

Summary: As one of the Order of the Phoenix’s freshest recruits, love certainly was not on Sirius Black’s mind the summer after he finished school – especially not with a Slytherin, who just happened to be his brother’s girlfriend. 

Genre/Warnings: angst/fluff, infidelity, mentions of torture, war, & sex. 

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: by popular demand... part 2 of august! let me know what you think & if you’d like to be added to my taglist! posts will be slower because i’m back at uni

masterlist

PART 1

It was a cold, snowy day in the village. The streets bustled with young passersby. They huddled together with flushed cheeks and dopey grins, reveling in their distance from stingy professors and half-written essays. The line for butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks wrapped around the street. The scene was all-too-familiar for the raven-haired troublemaker and his bespectacled companion hidden in a dark alleyway behind the Hog’s Head.

“Think we can sneak to Rosmerta’s for a butterbeer?” asked James, nudging his best friend with his elbow. “She’d let us jump the line.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes and snorted. “Yes, that would help the whole ‘lying low’ thing, wouldn’t it?”

James raised a concerned eyebrow at Sirius. “I thought you’d be up for it,” he said with an edge in his voice. 

“We’re on a mission,” snapped Sirius. “Let’s just hope nothing is waiting for us so we can get out of here.” 

“You’re jumpy,” grumbled James in response. “Mate, you didn’t have to come if it was going to bother you.” 

“I’m not bothered,” said Sirius defensively. “Focus, Prongs. Suspected Death Eater activity in Hogsmeade Village. We need to wait it out and hope for the best.” 

James shrugged, though he looked like he wanted to say more. The two men turned the corner and peered through the window of Dervish and Banges on the lookout for hellish masked figures that were quickly becoming the bane of Sirius’s existence. 

It had been four months since the summer Sirius’s life changed. His world lost the little color it had, and unfortunately, his friends were bearing the brunt of his moodiness. Sirius knew it was unfair. It was not James’s fault he was scorned by a cold, conniving snake of a woman, who showed him more love than he knew what to do with and then snatched it away without a second thought. 

It was bad enough they were there on a Hogsmeade weekend. He knew you were most likely somewhere in the village, probably in Regulus’s arms, shielding yourself from the cold. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, one he decidedly ignored as he turned to his partner-in-crime. “We should split up,” said Sirius. “Get under the Cloak and keep an eye on the station. I’ll do a walk-through. I’ll call you from the mirror if I see anything.” He gestured to his jacket pocket. 

After bidding James goodbye and good luck, Sirius made sure to lay low as he sifted through the snow-covered streets. Though he recognized some of his former classmates, he did not stop to greet them. He was not the type to let his personal life tear his eyes away from the prize. What frightened him was how difficult it was proving to be. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius spotted movement across the hill through the shattered glass window of the Shrieking Shack. Frowning, he pulled up his hood and jogged towards the disturbance. 

When he was safely away from the crowd, Sirius crouched behind a bush next to the house, close enough to hear vaguely-familiar voices – at least two. He inhaled a gust of cold air warily, feeling his heartbeat pick up at rapid speed. No one except the four Marauders ever dared to enter the Shrieking Shack. Who could these intruders be if not Death Eaters? Sirius’s fingers grazed the mirror shard tucked away in his pocket. Should he call James for help? 

Suddenly, he heard faint, quiet sobs from inside. On instinct, he jerked his body slightly upward and transformed into Padfoot. Taking soft steps forward on four legs, Sirius expertly stepped over a creaky floorboard. He remained hidden in the shadows, facing the back of a tall, skinny figure, whose scent overwhelmed his canine senses with the soiled flavor of repressed memories. 

When the stranger spoke, Padfoot winced at the tauntingly grim echo in his eardrums. “Stop crying, darling. It’s pathetic,” said Regulus. 

“H-How could you just…” you said nasally, unable to finish. Sirius felt his heart sink as he heard your broken, empty words. It was your voice that haunted his dreams, and there you were, looking cold and miserable, merely ten feet away from him. 

“You’re wasting your tears, (Y/N). She’s filth. She deserved it.” 

You looked indignant, raising an accusatory finger at your boyfriend. “N-No one deserves torture for who they are,” you said shakily.

Regulus sighed. “Honestly, you’re acting as if we killed her. She’ll be fine. Besides, I didn’t do anything to her. If I knew it would have bothered you, I wouldn’t have stayed.” 

“You just watched, Reg! You watched your dreadful friends torture that poor girl! Why? Because she’s Muggleborn? Why didn’t you let me stop them?” 

“They did stop,” answered Regulus heatedly. “They stopped for you. You should be more careful. If it weren’t for me, they would be spreading some nasty rumors about you. If I didn’t know any better, I would call you a blood traitor.” 

You scoffed. Sirius, still in dog form, shuffled to the side and hid under a scratched table. Emotions were high, so his swift movement remained unnoticed. 

Regulus strode toward you and placed his gloved hands on your shoulders. “Forgive me, (Y/N). I know how sensitive you can get.” 

You sniffled. “It’s not about being sensitive, Regulus. It’s about right and wrong! You know they would have killed her, you know it! The worst part is that you would have let them, and it doesn’t even surprise me anymore.” 

“What has gotten into you? I know you prefer to stay away from conflict, but you’ve been skittish for quite a while now,” said Regulus, dropping his hands off of you.

You were quiet. With one glance at your glossy eyes, Sirius knew what was going to happen before it did. “I have to tell you something. I did something bad.” 

The selfish part of Sirius wanted this. He wanted exactly this. But there was a sinking feeling in his chest, seeing it happen right before his eyes. He attempted to telepathically will you to stop talking, but it was too late. Regulus stared at you expectantly. 

“Last summer I… I was with someone else. I cheated on you, Reg,” you cried.

Sirius’s normally-reserved brother could not contain the shock dripping from his voice. “What?” 

“Regulus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I swear!” 

“How could you?” snapped Regulus. “I let you stand here and scold me over my activities as if you have the moral high ground between us! You had an affair? With whom?” 

You looked pained. “Don’t make me say it, Reg. Just know how sorry–” 

“With whom?” 

“W-With your brother, Regulus. With Sirius.” His name sounded like a melody on your tongue. Sirius held his breath, swallowing the emotion pooling inside of him. 

“What? My brother? You had an affair with my brother?” Regulus looked as though he was about to strike. Sirius bent his front legs, ready to pounce. “Did you sleep with him?” 

You turned away, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“Did you sleep with him?” 

You nodded slowly. It was as if you were carrying the weight of a thousand bricks. 

Regulus ran his hand through his hair. He paced the length of the room, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Okay,” he said after a tense silence, “we can fix this. I don’t blame you; I know how my brother is. You can be so gullible. He tricked you into sleeping with him. I was away for so long. You were upset. I can forgive you. We can move past this.”

You stared up at him, wild-eyed. “W-We can?” 

“Yes, we can,” said Regulus. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I forgive you.”

“I don’t think I can,” you said slowly, lifting your eyes to gaze directly into his. 

“What do you mean?” 

You wiped away your tears hastily. “I tried so hard, Reg. I tried so hard to forget him, but I can’t. I’m in love with him.” 

Sirius nearly yelped in giddy shock. She’s in love with me. (Y/N) loves me, not him. She loves me, not him, and he knows. 

Regulus had an unreadable expression on his face. “You’re in love with him? So all those years between us, they mean nothing to you?” 

“Not at all,” you argued. “I love you so much, Reg. But you aren’t the same anymore. You’re hurting me.” 

“Don’t you dare blame this on me,” said Regulus angrily. “You did this! You’re the one that slept with my brother!” 

“I’m telling you, it’s not like that! It wasn’t just sex. I went to him for help. I went to him for you,” you said. “It wasn’t on purpose. I never meant to hurt you. But I can’t pretend anymore. I’m in love with him.” 

Regulus was seething in a characteristically quiet way. “My brother,” he spat, “cares for no one but himself. I am sure you two will be perfect for each other. We are done.” With that, he spun around and walked out of the Shrieking Shack, slamming the door behind him. 

You fell on your knees, sobbing into your hands. Your soft whimpers broke Sirius’s heart into pieces. He poked his head out from under the table and pawed his way toward you. You looked up and gasped in fright. Sirius had forgotten about Padfoot’s unnaturally large size. Gently, he nudged your leg with his snout. “Sorry, you had to see all of that.” You buried your face into your knees. “Are you the big, bad wolf in this joint?” 

Before he could combust at your innocence, Sirius jerked upward again and balanced himself on two feet. “Nope, but he’s a friend of mine,” he joked softly. 

Your head snapped up. You jumped in complete surprise. “Sirius! What are you doing here?” You stared at a spot on the ground. “Are you an Animagus?” 

“To answer your second question, yes,” said Sirius hurriedly, wanting more than anything to skip the small talk, “and to answer your first, this is almost like a second home to me. How did you know about the wolf?” 

You looked at him in awe, then shriveled backward in shame. “Severus Snape spread some awful rumors when you all were at school.” You couldn’t meet his eyes. “Sirius…”

Sirius took tentative steps toward you. “No more lies,” he whispered. “Are you really in love with me?”

You stared into his grey eyes. “Yes,” you said in a hushed whisper. “I’m in love with you, Sirius. And I’m so sorry about what I said that day. I was scared. I know it’s no excuse, but it’s the truth.” 

In an instant, Sirius felt warmth rush up his body. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you without a second thought. To his utter delight, you kissed him back hungrily. Your arms wrapped around his waist, inhaling his musky scent. “I never stopped thinking about you,” he whispered against your lips. 

You smiled sadly. “Me neither. But how can we possibly be together?”

“Well, you’ll be home for Christmas soon,” said Sirius. 

“That’s only for a few weeks,” you argued. 

Sirius kissed your cheek. “It’s plenty of time. Plus, I can get into the castle whenever I want.” 

You looked skeptical. “How?”

“I have my ways,” said Sirius. “I’m never letting you go again.” 

You felt tears prick at your eyes. “How am I supposed to go back? To face all of them again?” 

“They wouldn’t dare lay a finger on you, not under the teachers’ noses,” said Sirius, mostly to assure himself. “Stay away from Regulus, too.” 

“Easier said than done,” you said. “They dragged some poor Muggleborn third-year here just to torture her. You don’t even know what they get up to at school.” 

Sirius pulled you into a tight embrace. He felt a tingle in his jacket. Pulling out the shard, he met a very familiar pair of hazel eyes. “Is everything okay? Did you find anything?” asked James. 

Sirius pulled away from you. “Yes, everything’s fine. I've searched the whole village. It was just a few Slytherin sixth-years, but they’re gone now. I’ll meet you there.” 

With a nod, James vanished. 

You tugged on his sleeve. “What was that? You have to go?”

Sirius made a motion to pocket the mirror, glancing at it thoughtfully before doing so. After a quick moment, he shoved it in your direction. “Here, keep this. It’s a way for you to call me at school. Whenever you need me, don’t hesitate.”

You paused. “Are you sure? What about James?” 

“He won’t mind,” assured Sirius. “Promise me you’ll use it. Even if you only want to talk.” 

Smiling, you pulled him into another kiss. “Definitely.” 

Sirius feared letting go, though he wasn’t afraid you would walk away again. He wasn’t sure what his brother and his friends would do. “I’ll see you soon, love. Don’t worry too much. You’re Sirius Black’s girl.” 

“That I am, darling. For as long as I can help it.”

Taglist: @iwritesiriusly @mads-bri @she-seeks-magic @sarcasticallywitty15 @lunalovecroft @fific7 @lindatreb @u-no-poo @justmesadgirl 

[mollrat101]

Who do you think would make the first move (i.e. a kiss): Ava or Deborah? 

I think it will be Deborah. 

I think Ava would see it as too big of a risk. She doesn’t even know if Deb likes women, Deb is her boss and just overall Ava doesn’t want to make Deb uncomfortable. 

But also, after the email incident, Ava will feel even more hesitant. Deb will eventually forgive her, but Ava will likely feel she doesn’t deserve Deb’s romantic affection and doesn’t want to do another thing to put her relationship with Deb in jeopardy. 

But also, in a weird way, it represents a certain amount of growth for her to not act. 

When Ava wants something, she normally doesn’t hesitate to go after it, especially if it involves pleasure. She tried to seduce Ruby even though she knew she was dating someone else and Ruby didn’t want to cheat (unlike Marty). When it comes to romance and sex, Ava will act first and not stop and think about whether it’s a good idea or not. When it comes to sex and romantic relationships, it’s all about what Ava wants. 

But part of her character arc is learning how to consider other people’s needs and feelings before her own. Ava could fall madly in love with Deb and want to have sex with her, but for once, she’s not thinking about herself. It should be Deb’s choice and Ava will respect whatever decision she makes. 

Now that being said, I don’t think it means that Ava won’t drop hints. They’ve already been flirting, but she might make it more overt and see if Deb is receptive, let her know she’s interested. Maybe even tell her about the sex dream? I would die if that happened. We shall see. 

But also, Deborah making the first move progresses her character arc forward. 

I’ve been theorizing for a while that Deborah is gay but she’s repressing much of her desires, particularly when it comes to her desire for Ava. 

All of this is part of a larger trend for Deb where she doesn’t get honest with herself on what she really wants and goes after it. Deb will deny herself pleasure because she has shame or fear of what would happen if she gave in. She’s terrified of being hurt and that’s for good reason. 

Ava will hurt her terribly in season 2, but this situation isn’t just like what happened with Frank. Ava will feel remorse, she will apologize, she’ll try her best to make it up to Deb and gain her trust back. Deb can’t go into a romantic relationship without confronting the fact that opening ourselves to being hurt is part of the deal. The challenge is to choose a person who is worthy of working through that with. Someone who is fundamentally good, who can admit when they’ve done wrong, attempt to make it right and who ultimately wants to make this relationship work. Deb will never find a perfect person, she just needs to find the perfect person for her. And she’s found her. 

And of the two of them, it is Deborah who most wants a romantic relationship. Ava’s goals were mainly focused on her career in the beginning, but I think she’s open to the possibilities of where her life will take her. After all, she’s young. But Deborah feels strapped for time. She doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life alone. She’s already been alone for 40 years (she’s had relationships but none of them seem to have been very serious). 

Let’s also be real that it’s just much more entertaining to watch a normally in control character suddenly do something impulsive and give into something they’ve wanted to do for a while. Ava doing something impulsive isn’t surprising, but it’s more surprising if Deb does it. 

I personally believe Deb has never slept with a woman because she’s scared. She knows she doesn’t like sleeping with men and I think (in her subconscious) Deb knows she’s gay but she’s in denial. She fears sleeping with women in fear of proving herself right that she’s a lesbian. Cause then it will be no turning back. She can’t be in denial in the same way before. She’s now knows what she’s been missing and won’t want to give it up. But that means showing the world something different about herself and Deb struggles to be open and honest about who she is. 

Deb will have to overcome a lot of fear to make a move on Ava, but that’s why it would mean so much if she did. Deb would be taking a leap of faith. That Ava is trustworthy, that Ava has her best interests at heart, and that she’ll be okay finding out something new about her sexuality. 

Plus, would be a great callback to the slap, if instead of a slap during a tense moment, Deborah plants a kiss on Ava. 

[gaelic-symphony]

🔥 - your opinion on Jemily (and gay/bi JJ in general)

Hi, nonnie, thanks for stopping by!

My opinion on Jemily may ruffle some feathers, but I only like them/ship them under very specific circumstances. I like the pairing and think they have great chemistry and a wonderful bond, but I don't like them as an actual couple. I actively dislike married Jemily and soft, domestic Jemily and Jemily as moms and all those other OTP situations that wlw shippers in this fandom like to put them in. Jemily must be angsty, messy, and at least a little bit one-sided and/or uneven and/or painful for Emily (and possibly also JJ), or it must be all smut no plot. Otherwise, I want nothing to do with it. I see Jemily as this really beautiful years-long saga of complicated sapphic yearning and wondering what could have been. (If you want to read 6000 words about it, read this fic lol.) I do think they've slept together at least once and blurred the lines between "just friends" and "more than friends" multiple times over the years. They care about each other, they're attracted to each other, and at times, they've both wanted something more than what they had. Maybe they could have been great together if things had been different, but there's always been something standing in their way, keeping them from getting it together and being anything more. My girl Emily Prentiss deserves her great love and her happily ever after, but she's not going to find it with JJ. For that, I 100% believe in Temily. (If you want to know why, send me another ask--or read Caution to the Wind lmao!) I can also see it working with Penemily, but I really prefer Temily because I'm the biggest Tara Lewis simp you will ever meet in your life and also a pretty big Garvez shipper.

As for my opinion on JJ, I'll let you in on a little secret, nonnie: She's really not my favorite. In seasons 1-5, when she's the unit liaison, I love her and appreciate her and think she brings a lot to the team and to the show, but I'm not emotionally attached to her the way I am with Emily or Tara, and seasons 7-15 profiler JJ just kinda rubs me the wrong way. Like I don't hate her, but I don't particularly like her either. That said, I know she's something of a comfort character for a lot of people, and I can see how at various points over the course of the show, she kind of gives off a bit of a queer vibe, maybe, so I think if you like JJ and want to interpret her as gay or bi, that's totally valid! It's maybe a little weird to me that you'd zero in on JJ for your queer headcanons when Emily is right there. Tara is right there. Alex is right there. Penelope is right there. Spencer is right there. Luke is right there. Still, I am generally completely in support of queer people seeing one of their favorite characters do something that gives off a queer vibe and deciding to interpret them as queer because it makes them happy and helps them better engage with and relate to the media they consume (although I do have some legitimate beef with bi Emily truthers--send me another ask if you'd like to know why!). Personally, I see JJ as being not entirely straight, but predominantly into men, and a little too repressed and closeted to fully figure out and come to terms with her feelings for women and actually call herself bisexual. I don't agree with the characterization of her being like, some homophobic small-town soccer mom, but I also can't really see her being out and proud and openly in love with a woman.

Anyway, that got really long and rambly, but those are my thoughts. I hope I answered the question to your satisfaction. Thanks for the ask! I love getting nice anons (and non-anons!) in my ask box, so feel free to come back any time!

[bobutterlovebot]

@beck-in-the-90s @captainlilyuniverseworld

SO GLAD YOU ASKED

putting this in the form of bullet points because of my inability to construct a coherent rant

𖦹 bojack was raised without love in his parent's marriage, so he got his idea of what true love is from television. in the time he was a kid gay representation in modern television was basically non-existent, so i think if he had ever had attraction to men it was pushed down by 1. his dads homophobia and 2. that heteronormativity that was his only view of love.

𖦹 just to clarify before i say this this isn't meant to imply a straight man can't accept and be friends with someone who is gay. but when herb kissed him bj didn't react as drastically as a man in the 80's most likely would, especially after growing up in a house with such homophobic teachings. honestly? it could be possible bojack had feelings for herb and projected it onto charlotte. i mean he barely knew charlotte and yet he thought he was in deep love with her. even though bj did tell herb he was straight after he kissed him i doubt a repressed gay man would come out so easily especially with the fact herb denied being gay as well.

𖦹 bojack was never in love with diane. i will die on this hill. even the characters of the show itself say it. "you're not in love with her, you just think you are because you pay her to listen to you talk about your problems" that's a pc line. on the topic of the 1st bullet point bojack would've thought two people caring about eachother = in love since that's a very popular trope in television or atleast was a very popular trope. this is further proven by the scene where diane goes to bojacks house after divorcing mr peanutbutter and when she points out that they could kiss right now and it'd be morally okay he gets really weirded out and uncomfortable all of a sudden

𖦹 i honestly do not think he loved wanda romantically either. this could be seen as a reach but i feel he fell in love with her way too quickly. i think he was just interested in her because since she was in a coma for 30 years it means he'd have a fresh start with someone who didn't know how shitty of a person he is or could be at times. i think that's why the relationship was moving so fast, because bojack wanted to be close with her before she could realize how bad of a person he is.

𖦹 he was so confused about whether or not he loved princess carolyn. he thought he did but he wasn't sure of it at all. i think this is just the pattern of trying to force or convince himself he's in love with women who he might just enjoy spending time with.

𖦹 i think he just slept with women to try and further push down that feeling. or he just hadn't realized the possibility yet. i mean we know that most if not all the sex he's had is completely meaningless and just to attempt to fill the void, the women he has had sex with and has gotten into a relationship with he's treated awfully and don't get me wrong this isn't me trying to excuse his actions but i do think it had some part in it.

𖦹 in conclusion!! i think he's gay. i also think he'd be way happier if he got into a relationship with a man he truly loved ᵐʳ ᵖᵉᵃⁿᵘᵗᵇᵘᵗᵗᵉʳ omg who said that did you guys hear that wtffff

[myhumanweakness]

Destiel/Cockles analysis s/p 15x18

Okay, so... This is gonna be a mishmash of thoughts, but if you stick with me maybe you’ll get what I’m saying. 

I’ve been seeing a lot of shit condemning Jensen as a homophobe because of his previous actions/statements about Destiel and also (for some ungodly reason) because of his performance during the confession in 15x18. And I have this theory that I needed to get out because it’s been there for a while, and now is the perfect time to explain it. 

This show started out in 2005 as a show about two manly, Midwestern men that  got pulled into a life of hunting the Earth’s worst creatures, tapping ass, and drinking beers (while also giving you a play-by-play on how to repress emotions), and there was also A LOT of love buried in the plot. A lot. 

The world was a completely different place in 2005. The own creator of the show didn’t expect the show to go past 5 seasons, so when the longevity came they were forced to grow. We watched this show go through a very human process/experience of growth and acceptance and evolution, and we got to grow along side it. Was it always a neat, beautiful process? Hell no. There were a lot of potholes along the way. But, growth isn’t linear. The point is that they (the writers, producers, actors, etc.) kept pushing themselves to grow year after year. 

So now, back to Jensen. Jensen has shown this fandom time and time again not only how grateful he is that we adore him and helped him to cultivate a life beyond what he has dreamed of but also that he is attentive and considerate to our feelings/thoughts. Has he disagreed with us at times? Hell yes he has. Has be bluntly stated that “Destiel doesn’t exist.” Hell yes he has. And it’s been hurtful and frustrating and invalidating. But, take a step back for a moment. 

Jensen is so connected to Dean. His friends and even his own wife has stated that he sometimes forgets that “he’s not Dean.” Dean has informed so much of who Jensen is for the last 15 years. And Jensen has admittedly seen a lot of himself in Dean. So who was Dean at the beginning of this show? Dean was the guy who made gay jokes, slept with plethoras of woman to fill a void (and also for pleasure), was so out of touch with his feelings because he was too busy being the person his father wanted/needed him to be, and had a very clear idea of what it meant to be a man. That’s the brain Jensen lived in for years while playing Dean. And honestly, it’s been speculated and discussed here, that Jensen’s brain might not have been too far off from that mindset outside of Dean. 

But just as we watched the show grow, I truly believe we watched Jensen grow. And we all know Danneel is a big part of that because she is wildly herself and big and fierce, especially about the things she believes in and loves, and she is open-minded and just pushes people to grow. And he has said those things about her. But I also think that a lot of Jensen’s growth came from Misha because as much as Danneel has influenced him over the years, I firmly believe Jensen needed to see/meet/form a relationship with someone like Misha in order to truly/permanently break down those walls about what a man should/could be. 

Cockles fans have long dissected and held up microscopes to Jensen and Misha’s relationship, so much so that there are pages and pages of theories about how their love bloomed, their break ups, their tender moments, and the growth of their relationship in general. But one thing that I think Jensen frequently struggled with is this idea that he needed to keep Dean true to who he is as a person, and that any growth and evolution in Jensen’s life (ie his relationship with Misha) couldn’t influence that. All of those moments he was denouncing Destiel seemed to be out of a struggle to keep those two people separate- Jensen vs Dean. Because in Jensen’s head, Dean was still this super straight, rough and tough, Midwestern monster hunter. 

But over the years, the Destiel fandom was comforted by Misha’s outspoken love, admiration, and agreement. Misha truly championed this fandom with reckless abandon. But while Misha was comfortable (to a degree) with himself and his relationship with Jensen, we really watched Jensen struggle. We watched Jensen grow. 

So, fast forward to the last couple of years. Destiel is subtextually canon- the writers have confirmed this at this point. Jensen is less negative about Destiel at panels insofar as to talk about their “break ups” and “domestic disputes” and “relationship” with a validating tone. Is he fervently talking about Destiel safe words and bondage and having sex/making out? No. But that’s not who Jensen is. He’s much more conservative with his emotions than Misha... at least publicly. 

This fandom has watched Jensen grow, not only in his dealings with/approach to Cockles but also with Destiel. So, while Jensen has long been adamant that Dean is not bisexual and couldn’t end up with Cas, I think there was potentially a moment where Misha (and potentially Danneel) were like, “Well, why can’t Dean be bi? Why can’t he finally realize that about himself after years of breaking down barriers and fears and conditioned notions? You did.” 

What came first, Cockles or Destiel? That’s been the debate right? The chicken or the egg? I truly think without Cockles coming first, we would have never been able to have Destiel. In fact, in my head, I can make the argument that without Jensen growing and going through the process of falling in love with Misha, Destiel would have never become canon. Jensen needed to first separate himself from Dean (which we are all privy to), grow and fall in love [again] as Jensen, and then give Dean the permission to grow and fall in love too. 

As we have seen from this week’s episode, Destiel has been there for years. YEARS. But Dean has always had to deal with two struggles: accepting himself and Jensen accepting him. We heard Jensen say at a panel that when he read the script for the final episode, he had a hard time coming to terms with what happened. People have long speculated that was referring to Destiel. Now, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t (I guess we’ll find out in two weeks), but it would make a lot of sense if it was. 

As everyone (the writers, actors, fans, etc.) has validated and acknowledged Destiel and particularly Dean’s love for Cas, Jensen has continued to struggle with it. But I don’t think it’s because Jensen is homophobic or anything like some people are saying. I think it’s because Jensen has worked tirelessly to separate the romantic lives of himself and Dean. Jensen convinced himself that Dean loving Cas and them having a relationship would be out of character, when in reality it followed this pattern of growth that both the show and bi (& LGTQ+) men/individuals around the world followed. Because Jensen is so connected to Dean, he can’t have 2020 vision until it’s hindsight because as Dean was coming out to himself and accepting himself, Jensen was accepting Dean simultaneously. It’s actually a beautiful thing. And it doesn’t make Jensen homophobic... it makes Jensen human. 

As many LGBTQ+ people will tell you, the path to realization and acceptance is fraught with struggle (internal and external) and doubt and denial and even self-hatred. There are no two characters that embody that more than Cas and Dean. So, I think that once Jensen realized that he went through a similar process as Dean it wasn’t that crazy anymore that Dean was in love with Cas. And Jensen loving Misha didn’t force Dean to love Cas- Jensen didn’t make Dean bi- Jensen loving Misha gave Dean the permission to love Cas and become one of the most human characters (especially male characters) to ever exist because we got to watch Dean find love and accept love through repression, struggle, self realization, and self acceptance. 

And for that, Jensen Ackles will go down in history as one of the best actors of this generation. Because he truly brought life to Dean Winchester.

Thank you for attending my TedTalk. I wanted to be much more thorough with this and include gifs and video evidence, but this is already lengthy and I doubt anyone even made it to the end. 

[mauriceclivealec]

sorry if ppl may have already asked you this but, i've watched the movie recently and felt like a lot of intimate moments between clive and maurice aren't shown onscreen to us? had they been lovers until risley was arrested, the fight and clive's travel? did clive cheat on anne? they were probably seeing each other between 1910 and 1911, right? i'm sorry for the amount of questions but i'm rly curious djdj

Clive and Maurice never have physical intimacy. That’s one of the central points of the story – in E. M Forster’s novel and in James Ivory’s film. For three years, Maurice and Clive have a ‘platonic’ – i.e. sexless, non-physical – relationship. 

This is a central reason why Clive is ultimately wrong for Maurice, and why Maurice finds happiness with Alec.

Even though Forster was writing in 1913-14, at a date when any hint of sex between men was illegal in the UK and punishable by imprisonment – and he wrote Maurice as a 35-year-old gay virgin who did not believe he would ever be able to have a physical relationship legally in his lifetime – he did a brave thing. He wrote a novel which shows that physical/sexual love between men is healthy and normal – not sick – and he gave his lovers who form a physical relationship, Maurice and Alec, a happy ending, without punishment. 

Maurice is also a novel in which two contrasting 1910s attitudes to same-sex love between men are debated (lots has been written about this), and this is where Clive fits in. 

Clive’s stated position (born out of self-repression and/or fear) is that same-sex love between men is only acceptable IF there is no sex. (Remember the film discussion on the punt in Cambridge, where Risley calls Clive ‘cold as a fish on a marble slab’?)

One key film scene where this is made really clear is when Maurice and Clive drive out into the Fens near Cambridge and lie down in the grass. It’s clear thar Maurice wants to take things further physically (check out James Wilby’s acting!) – but Clive will not even let Maurice kiss him properly on the mouth, and when Maurice tries to put a hand inside Clive’s shirt, Clive stops him. Clive says: ‘I think it would bring us down’. 

Similarly, the point of the scene in the novel (= the deleted film scene titled ‘The night before Greece’), where Clive asks Maurice if he can climb into bed with him, is that this is torment for Maurice because Clive won’t permit anything physical, although it’s a torment that (after 3 years of this) Maurice has trained himself to accept:

"I'm cold and miserable generally. I can't sleep. I don't know why."

Maurice did not misunderstand [Clive]. He knew and [had convinced himself by now that he] shared [Clive’s] opinions on this point. They lay side by side without touching. Presently Clive said, "It's no better here. I shall go." Maurice was not sorry, for he could not get to sleep either, though for a different reason, and he was afraid Clive might hear the drumming of his heart, and guess what it was. (Maurice, end of Ch 21)

Incidentally, in a letter to Forster written as early as 1915, Lytton Strachey (one of the trusted friends to whom Forster had lent an early draft of Maurice to read) questioned why Maurice puts up with this from Clive. “He [Maurice] was a strong healthy youth ... how the Dickens could Clive restrain him?”

Forster implies that Clive’s marriage to Anne, too, is more or less sexless, and certainly passionless:

So much could never be mentioned. He never saw her naked, nor she him. They ignored the reproductive and the digestive functions. (Maurice, end of Ch 33)

And, in the closing scenes, when Maurice returns to Penge/Pendersleigh by night to tell Clive his news about Alec before disappearing for ever from Clive’s life, Clive’s entire reaction is to treat physical sex between men as wrong. Clive recoils from the joy Maurice (and Forster) can’t resist sharing:

"I have shared with Alec," [Maurice] said after deep thought.

"Shared what?"

"All I have. Which includes my body."

Clive sprang up with a whimper of disgust. ... [H]is thin, sour disapproval, his dogmatism, the stupidity of his heart, revolted Maurice, who could only have respected hatred.

"I put it offensively," [Maurice] went on, "but I must make sure you understand. Alec slept with me in the Russet Room that night when you and Anne were away."

"Maurice—oh, good God!"

"Also in town. Also—" here he stopped.

Even in his nausea Clive turned to a generalization – it was part of the mental vagueness induced by his marriage. "But surely—the sole excuse for any relationship between men is that it remain purely platonic."

"I don't know. I've come to tell you what I did."

(Maurice, Ch 46)

[tchallasbabymama]

The Temple- Chapter 1/?

N’Jadaka x OC

A/N: I thought this was going to be a two parter, but now it’s looking like maaaaybe 3? I’m just now getting back into my writing and forgot how longwinded I can be lol. Enjoy! 

CW: short mention of suicidal ideation

Previous chapter: Prologue

3256 Words

N’Jadaka’s eyes blinked open and he was met with yet another day in Wakanda. This one was a little different than all his other mornings there because it was the first time he got to wake up in his own bed in his own quarters (outside of that one day he was king.) N’Jadaka had spent the last three months in a psychiatric treatment facility working on his anger and mental health issues. When he woke up after the civil war he caused he was livid. He had wanted to die on that mountain and unfortunately the feeling didn’t leave him until about a month into his treatment. He felt he had nothing to live for since his entire life’s work had gone up in flames before his eyes. He accomplished his one goal in life only to have it snatched back from him a day later. Everything important to him in his life had been taken from him and he felt he had nothing else to live for, so his cousin, King T’Challa, arranged for N’Jadaka to spend some time at Ithemba Center for Mental Wellness. 

He would never admit it out loud, but N’Jadaka was scared to go to Ithemba. He thought his stint as king would have turned Wakandans against him, but it did the opposite. The royal family had decided that transparency was the best policy and did a press conference explaining the entire situation to the people. T’Challa explained what had happened between his father and uncle, what the prince’s life had been like up to that point, and the fact that while he did usurp the throne he did it the right way according to Wakandan law so he wouldn't be charged with treason. The people of Wakanda were shocked, but welcomed their new prince with open arms. He wasn’t aware of the new developments because he was still resting in a healing pod in Shuri’s lab at the time, but when he went to Ithemba he was surprised to find out that everybody already knew him and was more than willing to help him. N’Jadaka hadn’t received that much care and attention since he was a child and he didn't really know how to handle it. It took him weeks to learn how to open himself to others, and it wasn’t until his last month of treatment that he even began opening himself up to the other patients in group therapy.

N’Jadaka’s main therapist was a woman named Ife. She reminded him so much of his mother that he had almost no choice but to open himself to her, crying in her lap during their first couple sessions. Ife had been incredibly patient with the emotional yet emotionally repressed prince, allowing him to work through his overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, and hurt. 

His time with Ife and the other patients at the center had been incredibly healing and he felt like a new man. He still felt like he had a ways to go, and he could tell he needed something, but couldn’t figure out what. His healing didn’t feel anywhere close to being done.

A knock at the door interrupted his morning laziness.

“Ngena.”

In walked the king of Wakanda flanked by two of his Dora Milaje, who he politely dismissed to stand outside the door. He walked across the room and sat in the plush velvet wingback chair by the full bookshelves.

“Sup man?” N’Jadaka barely opened his eyes to speak to his cousin. The bed was too comfortable.

“My apologies cousin, did I wake you?”

“Nah I’m up, this bed just won’t let me go.”

T’Challa chuckled at his cousin’s laziness. He completely understood, the beds were the most comfortable beds he’d experienced in all of his travels and time abroad in school. 

“I just wanted to formally invite you to attend breakfast at 9. It’s casual, just family and whatever few friends are staying in the palace with us at the time. M’Baku will be joining us today.”

“The gorilla nigga?”

T’Challa tried and failed to stifle his laughter, which quickly spread to his slightly younger cousin.

“Yes the gorilla nigga.”

“Ooooh I’m telling M’Baku you said that. Better yet, I’m telling Auntie.”

“I’d really rather you not.”

N’Jadaka chuckled and wondered if this is how it always would’ve been if they had grown up together. The thought was more bitter than sweet, so he pushed it aside for the time being. 

“Maybe just this once.”

T’Challa grinned at his cousin and he also wondered how life would’ve been had they known each other their whole lives.

“Thank you. Oh and get up, it’s already 8:30” T’Challa stood and walked towards the door.

“These damn beds…” N’Jadaka shook his head and reluctantly flung the sheet back and swung his legs over the side of his bed, completely forgetting he slept naked. He rushed to cover himself in the king’s presence.

“Shit, my bad, man.” 

“For…?”

“Nigga I got my dick swinging!”

“You’re sorry for being naked? Wh- oh that’s right. We aren’t puritanical like you are used to in America. Nudity isn't scandalous here, it’s just a body. But I will leave and let you get ready. See you, umzala.”

N’Jadaka stood there shocked. He knew of Wakandan culture, but experiencing it was going to be an adjustment. Just how different were they? They were never affected by colonization so the oppressive white supremacist ideology wouldn’t exist there. He had a lot of unlearning to do and a lot of questions to ask his family.

He eventually shook himself out of his thoughts and made his way to the en suite bathroom. He turned on the shower using the touchpad and the water fell from the ceiling like rain. He scrubbed down in the vanilla chai body wash he had requested and afterwards he covered his skin in shea butter. He walked into his enormous closet and stood there overwhelmed at the choices. His inner child wanted to throw a fit for everything he’d missed out on, but N’Jadaka took a deep breath to center himself before walking over to the section of clothes that he recognized. He was so nervous about breakfast he almost dressed to impress, but then he remembered T’Challa’s words and casual outfit. He grabbed his Lost Tribe hoodie and threw on his favorite black jeans and his Timbs. He swooped all his locs to one side of his head and threw on his gold glasses. N’Jadaka took a deep breath and walked towards the door.

“Chill out...it’ll be fine.”

The guards stationed outside his door directed him to the dining room where he was met with the smiling faces of his family members. Ramonda was the first to notice he’d entered the room..

“Mholo, umtshana!”

She met him for a hug and kissed his cheek. He smiled so hard his dimples looked deeper than ever and he hugged her back.

“Mornin, Auntie. T, Lil Bit, Charlie’s Angel, Big Man.” N’Jadaka greeted his cousins, Nakia, and M’Baku.

Yet again, T’Challa failed to stifle a laugh, which he tried to play off with a cough. Nakia lightly backhanded his chest and sucked her teeth at him. 

“Little bit? Don't start with me, bubble wrap!”

“Who is Charlie and why am I their angel?”

“That is not my name.”

Shuri, Nakia, and M’Baku spoke over each other.

Thankfully the queen mother was there to settle the children down right as the food was being brought out. N’Jadaka looked at the table and was surprised to see that Ramonda was seated next to T’Challa and that the only empty seat was at the end of the table. 

The king noticed N’Jadaka’s nervousness as he watched him sit down gingerly and take in his surroundings. 

“So N’Jadaka, how was your first night in the palace? Our beds are the most comfortable in the world.”

“Auntie, I almost didn’t come to breakfast. That bed had a hold on me.”

“You must come visit my people sometimes. If you think you sleep good here, wait until you have the crisp mountain air-”

“Nah lemme stop you right there. Crisp is code for cold, and I don't do that shit. Sorry Auntie.”

“I don't do that shit either. When I was staying there I shivered the whole time, even with the beautiful furs and blankets! I’m just not built for the cold.”

N’Jadaka grimaced at the mention of his time as a burgeoning world dictator. He was thankful nobody noticed.

He was also thankful for the large platters of food the kitchen staff came and sat in front of them. They passed the food around the table and soon enough there was silence as everyone dug into what N’Jadaka would later describe as the best meal he ever had.

After breakfast, the three men retired to T’Challa’s office while the princess hurried off to her lab, Nakia disappeared, and Ramonda tended to her garden. 

“So, N’Jadaka...I wanted to talk to you about a few things-”

“Then why is Mighty Joe Young here?”

M’Baku rolled his eyes.

“Again, that is not my name. Who even is this person?”

“It’s a big ass gorilla.”

“Oh- well in that case…”

T’Challa cleared his throat.

“As I was saying. Before anything, we need to address your crowning ceremony. Obviously you are part of the royal family, but by Wakandan law, all royalty must be officially crowned to be able to hold a title. If you would like to be Prince N’Jadaka son of Prince N’Jobu we must have the ceremony.”

N’Jadaka’s voice caught in his throat and his eyes got misty.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

M’Baku put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you, brother.”

“Good to be here.”

T’Challa fought tears of his own.

“Ok so uh, that’s that. We can hash those details out later. Now, the second thing I wanted to bring up with you is this: M’Baku and Nakia have offered to show you around the merchant tribe here in the city, the river tribe, and Jabariland. Shuri will get you acquainted with the mining tribe, and I will take you out to the border tribe on Wednesday.”

“Aight, sounds like a plan, but I don’t want the surface-level touristy shit.”

T’Challa chuckled.

“Noted. Now, lastly,” T’Challa pulled up a projection of a futuristic yet somehow still modern building next to a basketball court. 

N’Jadaka’s stomach dropped.

“What is this?”

“I want to open our borders to the ‘Lost Tribe’ as you call it. Maybe to the rest of the world eventually, but at the time they are less of a concern. In addition to that, I-”

The king was cut off by Nakia entering the room.

“Perfect time, love.”

“Sorry for being late, this baby runs my life now.”

“I’m getting a baby cousin?!”

Nakia looked at him dryly.

“Yes, N’Jadaka, you are getting a baby cousin.”

He peeped her attitude and settled down. If there was one thing he knew in this world, it was never piss of a pregnant woman.

“So the Outreach Centers, yes. I had actually had the idea for a while, but it took the country almost burning down for this idiot to see I was right. T’Challa had the idea to use your old apartment complex as the first Wakandan Outreach Center. Hopefully if it goes well, we could expand to-”

N’Jadaka zoned out staring at the projection. His vision may not have come true in the way he thought it would, but this would certainly be a step towards the betterment of the lives of Black people everywhere. N’Jadaka couldn't help but grin. 

“I think we lost him…”

“Cousin!”

He snapped out of his daze.

“Yeah I-I like it. Thank you, this really means a lot. One thing though?”

“Yes?”

“I want it dedicated to my pops.”

T’Challa smiled and zoomed in on the name above the door. It read “Prince N’Jobu’s Wakandan Outreach Center”. Then he took them on a 3-D tour of the facility, ending with the memorial to N’Jobu in room 1401.

N’Jadaka nearly broke down in tears.

“Cool. Thanks, man. For everything. This is…” N’Jadaka took a deep breath. “Just, thanks…”

The other three Wakandans smiled back at him fondly, an occurrence it seemed he would have to get used to. 

“I’m glad you like it. Now if you three will excuse me, I have work to do.”

Nakia kissed T’Challa’s forehead and left the room.

 “Aight, I need something lighthearted. A nigga is tired of crying. Oh! Actually I got some questions…”

“Ask away.”

“So earlier you mentioned how free and open and shit yall are here...I’m single and haven’t had any in like 6 months so where can I go to find some pussy. Since I’m a prince do I just like, I don't know, have concubines brought to me? I don't know how this works”

M’Baku snorted.

“Clearly.”

N’Jadaka flipped him off while T’Challa answered.

“No, we do not have ‘concubines’ though we do sort of have sex workers, which we can discuss later. You know, it would do you good to read some Wakandan history books...and maybe even some of our sex education material.”

“Ay man, I already know all that.”

“Not the way we teach it. Plus our birth control is better here.”

“More effective?”

“And no side effects. Trust me, you’ll want to visit the library at the end of the hall, cousin.”

N’Jadaka considered his suggestion and made a mental note to check out the library later that day.

“Yes, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two,” M’Baku chimed in.

“My guy, I know how sex works! I’m just curious about the culture surrounding sex. T, you said y'all aren’t puritanical like America...expand on that.”

“Well the list of books I just sent to your beads would be able to cover this in greater detail than I can at the moment, but basically every preconceived notion you have about sex, gender, attraction, etc. has been tainted by colonialism as a means of control over the population.”

“Hanuman…”

“Yeah I know that, I guess I just can’t really conceptualize a world without all that sexism and homophobia and shit.”

“What is homophobia?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused. The cousins answered at the same time.

“When people hate gay niggas.”

“The hatred of, or at least the disdain for, those who are attracted to their same gender.”

“And we ain't even getting into the people who aren't men or women, that shit blows people's minds.”

“Why?”

The cousins continued to explain the outside world to M’Baku for what felt like hours. T’Challa looked at the clock and stood.

“Well gentlemen, as...depressing as this conversation has been, we must get to the council meeting.”

“I need a drink after that. The strongest Jabari mead!”

“Yeah imagine living with that shit for 30 years then coming here. I’m not gonna know how to act.”

“You’ll learn.”

The three made their way to the council meeting and N’Jadaka had never been so bored in all of his life. He started nodding off at one point and M’Baku elbowed him in his side when he started to snore. When it was finally over they parted ways and N’Jadaka headed to the library. He had plenty of reading to do.

He started with the Wakandan history books reading about the lives of his ancestors. His fathers stories had given him a good foundation to build on, but what he found in the books blew his mind. 

Wakandans can trace their history for thousands of years, all the way back to the time of the great Bashenga, the first Black Panther. Growing up as a Black American, N’Jadaka had no connection to his mother’s family history because there was no record. When the Lost Tribe was enslaved and brought to the west, they were recorded as cargo, not people. The enslavers didn’t care about their names or where they came from, and when they got to shore their families continued to be ripped apart and sold to the highest bidder. They weren’t allowed to play drums and congregate, they weren’t allowed to read, they weren’t allowed to marry. There was no written record of his people, and the most they could go on was family bibles which almost never went back before the mid 1800s. 

N’Jadaka was overwhelmed with the information, so he decided to switch to something else and come back to the history books later. He picked up “Intimacy and Sex” by Ami Nbunda and flipped through the pages. He skimmed the table of contents and was surprised by what he saw.

The first chapter was on anatomy, but it actually included intersex people instead of just focusing on male and female bodies. The next chapter was about loving and respecting yourself and others, but not in the slut-shaming way of the outside world. The next few chapters were on the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, and the last few were on birth control, sexual health, attraction, healthy communication, and more resources. 

The prince couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he flipped through the pages. He stopped on a full-color photo of a vulva with all the parts labeled.

“This is for kids? Damn, we really living in two different worlds. America would never.”

He turned the page and saw a to-scale model of the entire clitoris, and his eyes bugged out of his head. 

“That shit’s a whole wishbone…”

He continued to read through the pages in awe. M’Baku was right, he was learning a thing or two.

N’Jadaka spent the whole day in the library reading book after book on everything he could get his hands on. If it hadn’t been for his guards alerting him to the time, he would’ve missed dinner. He grabbed the last two books and went to drop them in his quarters before heading to dinner.

“Umzala, have you been in the library this whole time?”

“Yeah man, it’s a lot to take in. I might have to take that sex ed book back to the states.”

“We plan on doing just that at the Outreach Centers. Comprehensive sex education is a necessity, and since your government prefers to keep people in the dark about how their own bodies work it will be our job to educate those who come through our doors. All but the last chapter, of course.” 

T’Challa winked and N’Jadaka felt like he had missed something.

“You mean the resources? Makes sense, those books wouldn't be available outs-”

“Not the books, dear, the Temple.” Ramonda chimed in.

“The what? I ain't got that far yet.”

Shuri rounded the corner and N’Jadaka expected the conversation to stop, but no.

“Remember earlier when you asked about concubines and I said we have sex workers?”

Ramonda cut her eyes at N’Jadaka as he nodded.

“Well that term doesn’t quite encompass what they do. They are sexual healers blessed by Bast herself and they reside in the Temple of Healing on the outskirts of the city near the Land of the Dead. They are known as the Daughters of Bast.”

“Now I feel bad for calling them concubines.”

“You should.” Ramonda said as she slapped him upside the head.

“Ow Auntie, damn”

T’Challa was thankful that his mother had someone else to fuss over, and he chuckled.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to pay them a visit. They are healers, after all.”

Next Chapter

[wannabeenagedirtbag]

Trigger warning: periods

I don’t think some people (men and women) realize just how debilitating, and potentially life threatening, periods can be. My brother was hating on birth control and he said it’s not healthy because it messes with the hormone levels in your body and alters periods. That’s why most girls go on it. I am saving myself for marriage and went on birth control because I was having 2-4 periods a month, and was basically bleeding to death. I was always tired, nothing helped. I took 2 naps a day, minimum, and still slept 9+ hours, unless I had homework. I was constantly bleeding and would pass out in class, physically unable to keep myself awake. I knew something was wrong within the first 2 months because my cycle length was 48 days on average. Meaning I went from having a period every month and a half to 2+ every month. They shook it off and told me my body was trying to regulate itself and it was old blood finding it’s way down, but it wasn’t. My periods were always extremely heavy and painful to the point where I had to lay in bed with a heating pad and Tylenol for days. I explained all of this and they still didn’t believe me and told me to call them again if it persists for another 6 months. So month 8 rolls around and I’m still constantly bleeding heavy, and it’s gotten worse so my mom makes the call to see a gynecologist, but I can’t get in for another month. So I wait even longer and the problem persists. By this point I’m drowning in schoolwork, barely showing up to soccer practice, and sleeping 24/7. The doctor talks to me for 2 minutes and puts me on birth control. She tells me that I’ll have to stay on it until I’m ready to have children and then we’ll talk about other medication options. I don’t need something to make my symptoms go away. I need someone to tell me why my periods almost killed me, and why the doctors told me it’s “just something that happens to teenage girls”. I need to know what the root of the problem is and if it will affect my ability to have kids in the future. Yes the birth control has brought me temporary relief but what happens when I quit it in the future? If this isn’t normal then the doctors should focus on solving the problem rather than repressing the symptoms.

[gunpowder-tim]

Do go off about your hcs I am interested 👀

okay okay okay so

ianto is trans masc nb uses he mostly n they sometimes when hes feelin less masc n stuff and hes demi romantic & demi sexual and thats why he said the 'its not men its just him'

jacks gender is *shrugs* like thats what he does if people ask him, he doesnt care what pronouns or anything like that and like its partly cause hes from 51st century but also thats just jack

owen is bi like its not 'confirmed' in the show but he literally has sex w a dude in the first ep well its implied but whatever so no one can tell me hes straight, he kinda has a lil crush on ianto and also jack but he would never say anything 1 bc theyre together 2 hes a repressed asshole 3 its not really a like *proper* crush so hes over it, that doesnt mean he still doesnt stare at them sometimes bc boys pretty

now tosh im like hell yeah bi tosh but brain also says lesbian tosh her crush on owen comphet, mary should still be alive and b w tosh

gwen and owen talk about hot ppl together bc bi bonding

gwen trans bc i love her n i want her to be and her kid also trans bc of that mention in the dw special and shes like the best most supportive mum bc she understands trans stuff, granted its like not exactly the same bc gender stuff never is but gwen gets it, rhys is a bit clueless about it all but he knows gwen is doing good and hes v supportive and Will Fight the teachers and parents if they misgender his kid now ik gwen being pregnant dowsnt make sense if shes trans but torchwood fucky shit and thats why she never expected it bc trans

like okay no one is dead everything is good so

ianto is great w gwens kid bc trans stuff and he knows about the trans masc side of things and hes just a great support for gwen

whenever owen and rhys are together rhys relentlessly flirts w owen, why? 1 bc he thinks its funny 2 owen slept w gwen he can do what he wants 3 rhys maybe does think hes kinda cute and it makes owen blush the slightest bit which rhys takes pride in

and maybe gwen is like yknow id be okay if you wanted to like make out w owen or sth and rhys is like what ha nooo its uh its a joke i dont actually like him and gwen just gives him a look like really and rhys is like well maybe i do but i dont know gwen i dont want to make things weird between us or with him and gwen is like hey its your choice if you do but just know that id be okay w it and so rhys just considers it for a while and one day he ends up just kissing owen and its p cute bc owen gets super flustered like wha bu youre married!!! anyway owen ends up being friends w benefits w gwen and rhys bc polyamory rights like they dont like always have threesomes or never interact w each other when w owen its just healthy n good n fun

ianto and jack adopt and their kid is cute and ianto would do anything for them, their kid and gwens kid become friends and its adorable and like one day gwen and ianto are just watching as gwens kid sits there a book open, reading and like teaching to iantos kid who is sat next to them and now im soft

and maybe they all live together in a nice house quite big and always full of laughter, a rule did have to be made stating no sex in the communal areas after gwen walked in on jack and ianto one too many times, rhys stays at home and is the best dad ever and looks after jack n iantos kid a lot too, sometimes one or two of the members of the team will stay home too if the mission isnt too urgent so they can spend time w the kids and each other

tosh and ianto groan about men together bc whilst yes ianto is sort of a man and yes hes dating jack who is also sort of a man, he knows men suck and tosh is a lesbian and so yeah

mary doesnt live there with tosh but she comes over pretty often, the kids love her and she sometimes brings lil trinkets to show them, owen is a bit scared of her still and she always glares at him

theres a biiig comfy sofa w loads of blankets and pillows and sometimes they all just cuddle together there, if one of them had a bad day or just any reason really, like ianto, if hes thinking of lisa or his dad or any other variety of hings that make him sad or panic, he goes nonverbal and just goes n curls up in the middle of the sofa and the others will notice and slowly all join him, they dont talk about it, they dont push anything, they just give comfort in the form of physical affection and if someone needs to talk they mnow that theyre all here for them