#i know she needs it and i don't and she has it so much worse than me etc etc but i wish i could see i psychiatrist like she did. damn

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— the bubbles are pink, jackass!

pairings: leah williamson x child reader!buddy x reader!monkey

summary: buddy learns a new word from monkey and can't stop repeating it, meanwhile leah's almost have a breakdown over it.

Thank you to @alotofpockets for her help with getting this one started as well!

"The bubbles are pink, jackass!"

The not so innocent words that slip out of the 3 year old's mouth are enough to make Leah completely freeze in her spot and widen her eyes in disbelief.

"D... Did she just," Leah stutters her words in horror, having to question herself if she heard it right, "Did you just hear that then?" She wonders.

Looking to where Buddy is sat on the sofa playing with Mr. Bear, the blonde's still baffled to hear what is said and doesn't want to believe it came from the little one.

Meanwhile your minding your own business, pretty much hyper focused on scrolling through your Instagram while eating your cereal, "Oh yeah, I heard that," You can't help but snort in amusement, feeling a sense of pride for your little buddy, "Clear as day."

Leah clicks her tongue disapprovingly once she's gotten over the shock horror of the words coming out of her innocent little girls mouth, "Need I ask where she heard that from?" She questions.

"Accusations! False accusations!" You drop your spoon in the bowl of cereal and point your finger directly at the blonde.

"Mhm sure, I don't believe that for a single second," Leah murmurs, shaking her head in disagreement, "I know exactly what you're like at times!"

"ExCuSe Me!?" You gasp in shock at the blonde pointing her finger at you straight away, "You know nothing... Nothing, Jon Snow!"

So you'd been a bit hooked on Game of Thrones, but so what?

"Oh really, so if I don't ask her then she wouldn't tell me that?" The blonde remarks, raising her eyebrow which makes you suddenly go silent, "Yeah, that's what I thought!"

"Okay so maybe I did but in my defense, it's not even that bad of a word!" You can't help defend yourself, shrugging your shoulders.

"No, no, I don't wanna hear it!" Leah held her hand up to cut you off from speaking any more, "Monkey, she's 3! You know that she listens to everything that you say!" The blonde's face is furious and you know that you did mess up this time.

You should really try and stop talking, but of course you do the exact opposite.

Shrugging your shoulders, you go back to staring at the Instagram screen, "There's kids that have said so much worse--"

"Ah, ah, no I said I don't want to hear it!" The blonde states, firmly, "Stop talkin', Monkey!"

"I'm just sayin' that I'm not surprised she hasn't picked up something worse," You insist, knowing there's been times where you've been playing on the PS and your not so colourful language has slipped out, "So many things worse than that word."

"Your really diggin' your own grave here, Menace," Leah states, continuing to look at you annoyed before she looks over to her mini-me, "Buddy, can you come here a second?" She calls over to get 3 year old's attention.

"Hi mummy," The little one flashes the blonde an innocent smile, before she runs over to you both with her hands still clutching the teddy bear, "Look, I got Mr. Bear!"

"Yeah I can see that, Buddy," The blonde laughs faintly, hoisting the toddler up onto her hip, "Listen here, missus, me and you need to have a little chat."

"About what, mummy?" Buddy cocks her head to the side, curiously.

You can't help but snicker in amusement, "You got a sailor mouth and half, Buddy-- Which she totally didn't get off me!" You start to speak as you see the scowl Leah's giving you and are quick to state to avoid the wrath of the blonde, "Alright, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna shut up now."

"Wise decision," Leah comments, pursing her lips before she turns her attention to the little one in the room, "We need to talk about the er, the sentence that you said." She tells, not really sure how best to approach this.

Buddy continues to look confused, "What sen... sentence?" 

"The one that you said to Mr. Bear over there," Leah explains, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh!" Buddy's eyes widen in realisation, "You mean when I told him that the bubbles are pink, Jackass?" The question sounds so innocent coming from your favourite little buddy.

You can't help but crack up laughing right there again, "You can't blame me for that once this time!" Moving to drop your bowl into the sink, you lean up against the kitchen counter as you can't wait to hear the rest of how this conversation is going to play out.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Leah is quick to stop Buddy from saying anything further, "Okay there's no need to repeat it again, Buddy. Can you tell mummy why you said it?" She wonders.

The 3 year old exhales a sigh dramatically and you swear she even did so much as roll her eyes, "Because mummy, the bubbles are pink!"

"Final piece," You speak aloud, accepting the lego block from your favourite little buddy as you attach it to the rest of it, "And there we go, done!" You announce, grinning proudly.

"Yay!" Buddy lets' out an excited squeal and claps her hands, "Can we do more now?" She questions with a glint of hope in her eyes.

You shrug your shoulders carelessly, "Eh, I don't see why not. Which one shall we build now?" You wonder.

Much to Leah's relief, your little buddy hadn't had any slip ups with her newfound sailor mouth.

You didn't fancy taking the blame for that one, again.

"This one!" The toddler points to the new lego set that you'd both picked out together and claps her hands in excitement.

You love how much she loves lego, its' great because it means you can do it together!

You can't help but get carried away with it sometimes.

"Alright, time to get ready for bed now, Buddy!" Leah interrupts the fun that your both having with the lego set.

Buddy looks up at Leah with an adorable pout, "No, mummy. 5 more minutes!" She insists.

Your an absolute sucker for her puppy dog eyes most of the time.

That's why your guilty of letting her get away with so much, sometimes.

Well, actually, pretty much all of the time.

"Come on, you've had long enough," Leah shakes her head in disagreement, "It's time to put your jammies on and get into bed now."

"But mummy," Buddy tries her luck to push for extra time.

Leah smiles a little and shakes her head once again, "No, come on. There will be plenty of time to play with lego tomorrow," Her decision remains firm but still gentle with her mini-me, "Come on, let's go."

"No fair," The 3 year old huffs dramatically and gets up from the floor.

What can you say? She's taking lessons from you.

You even swear she's sometimes more dramatic than you, if that's possible.

"I know," The blonde can't help but laugh amusedly at the toddlers' flare for dramatics.

"No playin' lego without me, Monkey!" Buddy states, bluntly, "I mean it!"

For a 3 year old, she sure is bossy sometimes, and well, no doubt where she gets that from.

"You got it, Bud!" You mock salute the mini blonde, jokingly.

With that being said, you flop onto the sofa and scroll through your TikTok page while Leah takes Buddy upstairs to get ready for bed.

"Wait, Monkey needs to join us for the story!" Ten minutes later, you hear protests from your favourite little buddy upstairs.

It's a routine every single night.

You suppress a grin and jump up from the sofa to head up the stairs two at a time, "I heard my name mentioned!" You exclaim, walking into the bedroom to find Buddy dressed in her pajamas while Leah's searching for a book to read.

You don't know why she bothers to find a new one though, when Buddy always end up wanting to read the same thing every time.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

"Agh! Monkey!" The sound of Buddy's shrieks fill the room as you lift her up and spin her around.

"Do you have to rile her up so much before she's about to go to bed?" Leah questions, exhaling a sigh as she picks out the same book.

Shocker, you already knew it would be that.

You mischievously grin at the blonde, "Can't help it now, can I?" Placing the toddler on the floor, she beams a wide smile at you.

"I'm goin' bed now, Monkey. Mummy's gonna read a story!" Buddy states clear as day, sometimes your impressed by the 3 year old's vocabulary.

Her speech is somewhat impeccable for her age.

"You are?" You faux a gasp as her little hands cling around your legs, "Alright, well I guess we'd better get comfy for storytime, eh?" You question, teasingly.

"Uh huh!" Buddy's more than happy to drag you in the direction of her toddler sized bed and your more than happy to oblige to anything that the 3 year old wants.

Like you said, you were easily convinced to do anything when it comes to your favourite little buddy.

"Alright then kids, are we both comfy?" Leah chuckles, watching you as you settle into the small bed beside the 3 year old, its' not that comfortable but Buddy's happy and that's the main thing right now.

"Comfy," You reply, giving her a mocking thumbs up.

"Comfy," Buddy mimics you, giving the blonde a thumbs up as well.

"How many times' are we gonna say the word comfy?" You joke, referring back to the video that the blonde did with Keira during an England camp.

"Menace," Leah lets out a laugh and shakes her head, before she begins to read the story book.

You know most of the lines in the book, so you can't help but read it out word for word, much to Buddy's protest.

"Monkey, stop. Mummy's reading!" Your favourite little buddy huffs, glaring at you almost identical to the way that Leah usually does.

Although coming from a 3 year old is less terrifying at least.

"Sorry, sorry," You can't help but chuckle, trying to refrain from speaking any more of the words out loud to avoid any further annoyance from the 3 year old.

"Alright, all done," Leah states, closing the book and smiles at the sight of you both curled up together, Buddy's fighting to stay awake and your not far behind her, "Time to close your eyes, Buddy."

At least until you hear Buddys' next words.

Buddy lets' out a small yawn as she tiredly rubs her eyes, "Goodnight, Jackass!"

You can't help but snicker, "Oh now that is hilarious," Quickly catching the look of the stern blonde, you move your hand to cover your face to stifle any further laughter.

"Excuse me?" Leah's taken back by the response from the 3 year old.

"I believe she said--" You start to speak.

"I heard what she said!" Leah is quick to cut you off from repeating what the little one said as she turns to look at the youngster, "Buddy, why... why did you just call mummy that name?" She asks, confused.

"Cos' you are, and its' not a bad word. Even Monkey said so!" There goes your favourite little buddy throwing you right under the bus.

Damn it.

"Whoa, whoa, no, uh technically, I didn't... I didn't say that you were!" Your hands fly up in surrender, "I mean I didn't even say it like that, but uh..."

By the annoyed expression on the blondes' face, you decide to make the smart decision and shut up.

"You really need to watch your language around her," Leah murmurs, exhaling a sigh, "You know she literally absorbs words like a sponge nowadays!" Shes' scolding you, like it was all of your fault.

Well, technically... You didn't help matters, but you didn't think she would repeat it.

"That's right, Jackass!" Buddy exclaims, smiling like she was completely proud of herself.

Your not quite sure if she understands what the word means or not, but there's something funny about hearing swear words come out of a little kids' mouth.

"Hey, Buddy," Leah gets the attention of the 3 year old, "We don't swear and say words like that, do we?" She chides gently, but still trying to remain firm.

Buddy pouts in confusion, "Why not, mummy? Monkey says it all the time!" She insists.

Well that's backfired on you now.

You drop your mouth in shock, "Wha..."

Leah clicks her tongue in disappointment, "Yes and Monkey's shouldn't be using them sort of words either," She takes a moment to scowl at you while your just sat there cracking up laughing about it all, "You're not helping here, go and do something productive!"

You stand up from the toddlers' bed and hold your hands up in mock surrender, "Geesh, I say one bad word and suddenly I'm the bad guy round here." You murmur, jokingly.

"Go, now!" The blonde gestures in the direction of the bedroom door, shaking her head in disagreement, "Listen Buddy, you should know that even when you hear Monkey say words like that, it doesn't mean that you should always repeat them, okay?" You hear her continue to speak to Buddy as you make your way out of the bedroom.

"What, even when she says shit?" Buddy doesn't think twice to ask.

Leah exhales a short sigh, "Even when she says them words."

"But what about when you and mama say words like that, though?" Buddy questions innocently, cocking her head to the side with an expression that looks somewhat identical to Leah's.

"Ha, she got you there!" You can't help but snicker in amusement.

"Monkey!" Leah shouts to you in that firm tone of voice your all too familiar with.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'. Geesh!" You huff and continue to make your way to your own bedroom where you plan to watch another marvel film, or you were gonna but ear wigging is so much more fun sometimes.

"Sometimes, yes, even mama and I say words like that at certain times, but you still shouldn't be repeating them, okay?" Leah tells Buddy, trying to get her point across but in a gentle tone of voice.

"Okay, mummy!" Buddy nods along in agreement.

"So no more of the swearing, alright, little miss potty mouth?" Leah jokes, ruffling her mini-me's hair.

"You got it, dude," Buddy nods once again and sticks her thumb up, "Ove' you, Mummy!"

"That's my girl," Leah smiles and presses a gentle kiss on the 3 year old's forehead, "Night Buddy, I love you lots!"

Buddy lets out a small yawn and tiredly rubs her eyes, "Goodnight, Jackass."

You can't help but snort aloud in amusement once again, "Oh man, this kid!" You crack up with laughter, peering your head round the door and seeing the unamused expression on Leah's face once again.

"Right that's it, we're getting a swear jar!" Leah declares, shaking her head in disbelief.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[mirouie]

୨ৎ 'i think you're so good, and i'm nothing like you.'

tasm!peter parker x fem reader. | wc: 2.1k

↳ warnings: none

↳ tags: fluff, slight hurt/comfort, soft peter, he's too kind for his own good, reader thinks she's a bad girlfriend, lots of pet names

↳ a/n: the fact that i wrote this, 2.1K, in one go is actually crazy because i haven't been able to do this for the past four years?? tumblr has me in its clutches. also i don't really like how it ended, but it's 11 pm and i'm in desperate need of sleep. anyway, i hope you enjoy this! send me some more peter requests and i'll love you forever mwa <3

it's early in the evening, and peter's as jolly as can be as he hustles and bustles around in your small kitchen, making dinner while you're huddled under a fluffy blanket and wrapped up in one of his old hoodies on the couch, watching him sullenly.

you're not feeling so well, but now you're feeling much worse because you'd promised peter that you would make dinner; his favorite pasta, however earlier, you suddenly felt a tad bit too woozy when you stepped out from your room after a few (about five) hours straight of your eyes glued to your work computer. he assured you that he'd have no problem cooking tonight, no problem taking care of you, but that couldn't stop you from feeling terrible. he's making his favorite by himself.

peter probably senses your eyes on him with that tingle of his (spider-sense, he says, but you think it's funnier and cuter if you say tingle) because he peers at you over his shoulder and shoots you a lovely grin. he's looking much too happy, and you think he's doing it for your sake. he shouldn't be—he's just as tired as you are, probably doubly tired, but he's doing it anyway and you know there's not much you can do to stop him.

"hey there, pretty," he calls, tearing his attention away from the sauce he'd been stirring over the stove and focusing wholly on you. he even turns and leans against the counter. you preen at the pet name out of habit. "liking the view?"

you scowl at him from under the blanket, albeit playfully, and his heart does a funny tug upon seeing the way your nose scrunches cutely. it makes him want to stomp over there and kiss you stupid, though he knows you'd end up with burnt dinner, so he doesn't risk it (he'd be too busy kissing you to remember he's cooking).

you hum—you do like the view, but it's making you a little sad. and guilty. "i'm sorry, peter."

"sorry for what, babe?" he frowns.

"for feeling sick. i was supposed to make you dinner."

peter shakes his head so hard you think it might fall off his neck. "no, no, none of that, bub. no sorries. 's not you're fault you're not feeling well."

it kind of is, but you don't tell him that. "you're not supposed to be making your favorite food for yourself. it's supposed to be special, but it's not all that special anymore because you're making it for yourself," your frown deepens. "it just seems... intentional. and dull. not heartwarming anymore."

peter has to bite his lip hard to fight down the lovesick smile threatening to pull at his lips. you're being so lovely and adorable, he just wants to engulf you in a million kisses.

"it's okay, sweetheart, i've told you. trust me, i'm feeling plenty heartwarmed right now, and you didn't even need to cook me anything." with that, peter turns back to the stove, humming softly and leaving you still pouting at the back of his head.

it doesn't take long for peter to finish making dinner. you cook most of the time, but you're convinced he's the better chef between the two of you. soon, you're swept off the couch and seated at the kitchen island, blanket still around your shoulders. there's two plates of pasta in front of you and peter and he, ever the angel that he is, waits til you've had your first bite to start digging into his dinner.

you're unusually quiet all throughout the meal, and if peter notices that there's something wrong, he doesn't show it. he talks and you listen, and you're more than happy to. you don't have it in you to feel great at the moment, your unfortunate situation making you feel a bit more guilty than you should be.

peter's so nice, you think. he always is. he doesn't have a single mean bone in his body. it's a problem.

he's so nice and i'm not. i try to, but i can't always be as kind, or as understanding as him. i have bouts, i have times where i don't have the energy to act good. i get cranky when i'm tired, i lash out and say mean things, but i've never seen peter do that before and he's almost always more tired than i am. he always takes care of me when it should i who's taking care of him, and he never complains. he never complains.

you sigh, it comes out rough and frustrated. i'm such a bad girlfrie—

"what're you thinking about in that pretty head of yours, hm?" you must've been glowering too hard, because suddenly peter's fingers are curling around yours, gently prying them away from the fork you'd been gripping too hard. your half-eaten dinner suddenly looks unappealing, and it makes you feel worse than you already are.

peter's face, adorable and soft and understanding and concerned all at once, slides into view. there's a crease between his brows where they're knitted together, and you feel the urge to smooth it over with your thumb. you do so, and your boyfriend all but melts into the simple touch. his fingers slowly intertwine with yours.

"what's wrong, bub? are you feeling sicker? do you want me to get you some water? medicine?" you don't know if you want to smile giddily or slap him for worrying about you.

"no, i'm.. i'm feeling fine, pete, it's just— it's just.." you shake your head, attempting to pull your hand away from him as you feel the your eyes starting to burn, your throat closing up. you're starting to feel overwhelmed by his kindness, and the fact that you think it's stupid that you're feeling overwhelmed isn't making it any better.

"it's just?" food now forgotten, peter slips off of his chair and rounds the island to stand beside you, slotting himself between your thighs and cradling your face in his big, warm hands. you sigh at the feeling. "come on, sweetheart, you know you can talk to me. what's bothering you, hm? did i do something wrong?"

you couldn't disagree more. "goodness, no, peter, you haven't done anything wrong." you swallow thickly, but the words feel stuck on your tongue. "it's just..."

"you're too kind." you blurt out before burying your face into his stomach, embarrassed. peter blinks, confused. "i'm... too kind?"

"yes, and it's a problem," your voice comes out muffled and peter tries to pry you off so he could understand you better, but you stubbornly stay stuck to his abdomen. "you're too kind, and i'm not."

peter laughs, disbelieving. you think you're not kind? impossible.

whoever put that thought in your head, your boyfriend needs to have a word with them now.

"baby," peter's voice is saccharine sweet as he speaks, and you feel equal parts ashamed and infatuated. "baby, look at me."

you go, albeit a little hesitant. he thinks you're being ridiculous right now, acting all shy and nervous because you think he's too kind. ridiculous.

he wraps his arms around your neck so you're forced to rest your chin on his stomach, stuck looking at him in the eye. he sees your eyes flit nervously, heavy with guilt that's not supposed to even be there. he sighs. he tucks a stray hair behind your ear. "what makes you think you're not kind, y/n?"

you shrug, trying to look away but his fingers only tilt your face back towards him. useless. "i don't know. i'm just... i'm just not, pete."

"why not?"

"because—" you're starting to get frustrated. "because i didn't make you dinner when i was supposed to tonight! i get mad and i yell, i complain about everything when i get tired, i'm stubborn and i don't listen to you sometimes. i don't treat you well enough like i'm supposed to, and i just don't understand why you're with me! i'm a bad, bad girlfriend, and i'm nothing like you, who's so nice and kind and caring."

you sniffle at the end of your rant, and a stray, hot tear runs down your cheek. peter wipes it away before you can.

he's silent for a while. you wish he isn't, you wish that he'd agree with you.

he doesn't.

instead, he dips his head down, nose nudging yours as he presses a sweet, sweet kiss against your lips. slow, gentle; he's kind even when he kisses you. you find it unfair. he's perfect, and i don't deserve him.

"don't say that, bub," he whispers into your mouth when he pulls away, barely. "don't say that. you're a good girlfriend. the best one around."

he pecks you one, two, three times before he straightens back up, holding you closer than ever before. you don't quite understand the look he has in his eyes, but you think it's pretty close to 'hurt' and 'disappointed'. you feel terrible.

"is that what you really think of yourself, sweetheart?" peter's voice is small, a hushed whisper into the space between you. you can catch the hints of disappointment in his tone, and you deflate, thinking it's for you. you nod in the tiniest movement, looking away. you feel like crying again.

"oh, y/n."

strong arms weave under you and pull you into a bone-crushing hug, peter's face buried in your shoulder. you hug him back, and you squeal and wrap your legs around his waist as he hoists you out of your chair, crossing the three steps from the kitchen to the living room and falling into the couch. you grunt as you're buried under him, but you don't make a move to push him off and neither does he.

you stay as you are for a few moments, the soft breaths falling from peter's lips and brushing against your skin the only sounds filling the empty air. you're nervous—he hasn't said anything yet, and you think he might actually be mad at you.

until, "baby."

you hum, fingers gently squeezing at the nape of his neck.

"you're not a bad girlfriend."

"am i?"

"no, you're not. you're not a bad girlfriend, and you never will be." peter pulls himself away from you to look you in the face. you're almost shocked at the conviction spread across his features. you don't think you've seen him this serious in a while.

"you don't even know how well you treat me. do you know, that when i come home and i see you just standing there, i feel loads better like i haven't been tired all day? do you know that when you kiss me and hug me and tell me you love me, it's more than enough to make me feel more well-rested than when i sleep? trust me, baby, it really feels like that."

"and you say that you get mad and you yell and complain, and that's okay. that's okay, sweetheart, because it's normal. you're not some robot whose not supposed to feel anything. you're allowed to get mad, and you're allowed to not feel happy or nice when you don't want to."

you blink at him, at a loss for words. peter takes that as a sign to continue.

"i feel like that sometimes, too. when i'm tired, i get cranky and upset over the smallest things. i feel like tearing my hair out and breaking something."

you frown. "no, you don't. i've never seen you like that before."

"just because you haven't seen me get angry doesn't mean it hasn't happened before, honey," peter chuckles. "i get mad plenty of times."

suddenly, you're feeling embarrassed. he's right; you're allowed to not be nice and so is he. it just so happens that he's around to witness you during times like those, and he chooses not be around you during his own time when he's not feeling all that nice.

you sigh. with all things concerning you, he's as caring as can be.

"i'm sorry, pete, i didn't mean to feel like this," you say, looking up at him to see the same lovelorn grin he's always sporting around you. "what'd i just say, hm?" he says it all snarky and playfully snooty you have to laugh. "it's okay to feel that way. i'm holding nothing against you, babe."

"even when i ruined dinner?"

"you're still on about that? honestly, honey, i've forgotten that we even ate dinner at this point."

you roll your eyes. he smiles again. "but was the pasta good, though?"

"very. now come here and let me kiss you in apology."

"i've already told you that there's no need to be sorry, but if you insist."

peter flops back down and you trap him in his arms for the rest of the evening, smothering him with your love. he doesn't complain a single bit.

© mirouie ; do not copy, edit, or repost my works. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 19

Summary: Y/n finds some interesting information about Rachel while cleaning her room.

A/n: I wasn't sure about this chapter but considering tonight is the presidential debate, nothing can be worse than that. I hope this is better than that. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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Wanda sets the last box on top of another and puts her hands on her hips as she looks at the shed. It was a mess when she first opened it yesterday. She couldn't believe how much crap had collected inside over the years. She threw out most of the useless items and whatever gardening and landscaping tools she had, she moved to the garage. Though she doubted she'd need them again since the tools were only used once by Vision before he hired a team of people to take care of the yards. 

The shed is once again a disorganized mess of boxes but she knows that you won't let them collect dust. “I should probably patch up some holes in here before I leave, I don't know what the weather is going to be like before I can get in here and really set up and I don't want anything to get ruined.” You say as you analyze the space. 

Wanda nods, “Yeah, do whatever you have to. It's your space now.” 

“Almost like we're moving in together,” you joke, which makes both of you laugh awkwardly. “Sorry I don't know where that,” you start but Wanda doesn't let you finish as she waves you off. 

“It's okay,” she says with a kind smile. The two of you get quiet and stand in front of each other awkwardly. Not sure what to say or do. She wants to ask you so many questions. She wants to hold you and tell you that she loves you. She wants to throw caution into the wind and ask you to move in. But she knows that she can't. She's not ready. She takes a slow breath and opens her mouth to ask if you're feeling better but thankfully, her phone starts ringing. “I have to take this,” she says as she puts the phone to her ear. “Hey, yeah, let me get somewhere private.” She mouths an apology to you just before turning to the back door of her house. She rushes up the steps of the deck and then to her office. She feels you trailing her up until she gets to the stairs inside of the house. 

“Since when do you need to find privacy to talk to me?” Agatha says on the other end of the call.

Wanda hurries into her home office but isn't careful enough to ensure that the door is shut all the way. She stands in the middle of her office with her back to the door. “Since I realized that I'm in love with Y/n and I needed to get the words out before I self implode,” she rushes out as if she was holding a deep breath. 

“Woah, woah,” Agatha says with a hint of humor in her tone. “I’m going to need you to slow down and annunciate for me, honey. What's happening?” 

Wanda swallows and inhales through her nose. “I'm sorry, I'm kind of losing it lately. Ever since I started seeing Dr. Winslow I feel like I can't keep a secret anymore because it doesn't feel good. But now is not the time for me to go proclaiming my love to Y/n.” Wanda starts to nibble on her thumb nail. 

“Why not? I'm sure they'd love to hear how you feel about them,” Agatha asks.

“Because they have a lot going on. And I still have a lot of things to work through.” She doesn't want to go into the details with Agatha so she keeps it vague. “But I can finally admit it to myself and well, you, about how I feel.” 

“Yeah, why are you telling me this now? I’ve been losing bets over this and now you feel this way?” Agatha scoffs as she thinks about how much money she's lost because she could see what her friend continued to deny. 

“I'm sorry, it's still relatively new to me. If it makes you feel any better, you indirectly helped me get to this point,” Wanda lamely offers up. 

“That's why I called you,” Agatha says as she is reminded why she even dialed up her friend. “How has the therapy been? Good for you?” 

“Oh they've been amazing! Thank you for introducing me to Dr. Winslow, I really don't think I could thank you enough,” Wanda says gratefully. 

“I told you, he's really that good,” Agatha states proudly.

“Yeah, he has made me feel things I haven't felt before, or I guess, he's made me understand feelings that I haven't been able to identify before. Yeah, that sounds better,” Agatha laughs and it makes Wanda laugh too. “Stop with your dirty mind. You know what I mean.” Agatha agrees. “It’s really weird though, I feel like he understands me better than I understand me. I'm not sure I like it but it's been helpful so I can't really complain can I?” 

“I told you not to go to him unless you were ready to really learn about yourself,” Agatha says. 

“I know, I know. I am appreciative and grateful and all of the other positive words. But gah, I miss the ability to hold in my feelings.” Wanda shakes her head as she thinks about you. She turns around when she hears footsteps and her eyes widen as she realizes that she didn't shut the office door all of the way. “I um I uh shit! I have to call you later Agatha! I forgot to close the damn door!” 

“So much for that privacy you were looking for,” Agatha quips. “I love you, hon. Have a good rest of your evening?” She ends the call and Wanda sets her phone on her desk as she sits against the front of it and puts her face into her hands. 

She takes a moment for herself then she remembers that she hasn't washed her hands yet.  She quickly makes her way to the bathroom in her bedroom to wash her face and her hands. By the time she dries off she has convinced herself that you didn't hear anything because you would have come inside and done something. She considers that one of the kids might've heard but she knows who's footsteps those belonged to. They were definitely yours. 

Wanda walks into the kitchen to find you chopping vegetables. “You're already starting on the salad? We haven't even talked about what we're having as the main course,” she says as she grabs her apron to have her hands do something other than wrap around your body. She hardly wears it but it was a mother's day gift from her boys a couple years ago so she keeps it around. 

You shrug as you focus on chopping. “Yeah but I'm sure it's going to include a salad so I figured it'd be better to start instead of sitting around doing nothing.” You stop chopping for a second to look at her. “How was your phone call?” 

Wanda gives you a tight smile as her heart pounds in her chest with fear and anticipation. She isn't ready for you to know about her feelings yet. “It was good. It was Agatha. She was just checking on how my therapy is going. Since she recommended him to me and all,” Wanda opens the pantry to start pulling out ingredients. 

“I should probably start looking into therapy,” you state as you start to feel like an idiot. Of course she was talking about a therapist! She didn't push you away to be with another person, she pushed you away to be with herself. But that doesn't mean you need to feel guilty about dating. It's what she wants and you're respecting that.

Wanda surprises you by placing her hand on the middle of your back but you settle into the touch as it spreads a warm tingly sensation throughout your back. “I think with everything going on, that sounds like a great idea.” She leans her head against your shoulder. “Have things ended physically between you and Jean before?” Wanda asks carefully. Her hand starts to rub small circles on your back. You stop moving the knife as there's no more vegetables to cut. 

“I wouldn't say that it was crazy physical but this isn't the first time she's smacked me out of anger. It's probably the third or fourth time. That's not to say I didn't deserve it,” you say softly. Wanda shakes her head as she moves away and turns you to face her. “Wanda, I should not have confronted her like that. It wasn't fair to her. And honestly, I felt out of control. I'm glad it went the way that it did and not the other way around.” 

“Do you really think you're capable of something like that?” Wanda asks as her eyes bounce back and forth between your eyes. 

“I like to believe that I'm not. I didn't feel like I was going to hurt her physically. I had no intention to. The idea wasn't in my mind. But who knows what any of us are capable of?” You reply as honestly as you can because you don't know if you are capable of inflicting physical harm on anyone. You got into little nothing fights in high school that ended in laughter before anything got serious. But nothing has pushed you past your limits enough. Even drunk and getting into arguments with someone, it never ended in a real physical fight. 

“It was never going to end that way. Don’t doubt your abilities to keep yourself in check, Y/n. You are capable of many things. Choosing physical violence isn’t one of them and that’s a great thing,” Wanda says with a firm tone that makes you believe her words. You nod and thank her. “Any time. Now let’s make these kids some dinner before they start getting cranky,” she says with a kind smile before stepping away from you. 

The two of you step into an easy rhythm of cooking together and when the ingredients start to create an aroma that travels throughout the house, the kids are running down the stairs eager to be part of the process. There isn’t much for them to do other than watch and wait since it was just a simple pasta with a side salad. The kids, however, made themselves useful by setting the table and getting drinks poured for everyone. When the meal was ready, everyone served themselves before meeting at the table. You love the dinners that you are fortunate to have at Wanda’s but you know that you’re going to have to dial it back soon. It’s not fair to the kids to get attached to the idea of this family. Because it's not real. 

Something that you didn't realize was already a problem until a couple of weekends later. You are cleaning Rachel's room because it had gotten messy throughout the weeks and you didn't feel like arguing about it. She wasn't a bad kid and with things being tense between you and her mother, you don't feel that she should be punished for an unkempt room. You remember being a kid with a tense family dynamic and how your room would be a mess as a result of it. Cleaning her room for her healed a part of your inner child. The younger version of you who was struggling for a long time and instead of being met with compassion or concern was only ever berated and punished for things like a messy room. 

Rachel had a sleepover with Tommy and Billy at Wanda’s house the night before. Wanda tried to convince you to join them but you declined. Instead, you spent the free night with Nebula. The two of you met for dinner then ended the night at your place. She has a great sense of humor and she made you laugh for hours. You attempted to do the same, unfortunately she had to politely inform you that your humor needed some work. 

“But don't worry, I'm still willing to stick around,” she flipped her hair and leaned in. You smiled at her and kissed her cheek. You enjoy her company, you aren't sure what kind of future you'll have with her, but you like her enough to find out. 

Spending time with Nebula made you realize what you liked about Daisy and why you kept that relationship going for as long as you did. It was how she admired you. At least how she admired an idea of you that she cultivated for years. That she managed to still like you past the mental pedestal. You might not have been aware of her crush on you when she was younger but the comments that Kate made about it made you feel good about yourself. Being with her made you feel a bit more confident even though it was at her emotional expense. 

Being with Nebula is refreshing. She isn't your former boss’ daughter. She isn't your current one's sister. She doesn't know anything about your past aside from what you choose to share. And you have no ties or connection to her and her past. A past that hasn't come around to haunt her. Not that you minded Wanda’s troubles. You have plenty of your own. But spending time with Nebula gave you a new perspective when it came to dating. Sure, you still have stronger feelings for Wanda, but she doesn't want you. This time around, you have a real confirmation that she doesn't want to be anything more than a friend. You can't put your life on hold on the chance that she might change her mind. 

You are snapped from your thoughts when you step on something poking out from under Rachel's bed. You look down and see a small trail of ants marching from there. “Gross,” you make a face and leave the room to get gloves and a face mask on as well as a handful of trash bags and bug spray. You hated finding old food. You hadn't realized how bad she was getting until you looked under the bed. There were stacks of paper plates with food leftover in them. There were some clothes that you suppose were meant to help hide the unfinished food. You feel a little better when you see bite marks in the moldy food but you know that you're going to have to have a talk with her when you pick her up. 

You end up having to move the bed in order to get it properly cleaned and disinfected. Jean used to do the same thing when the two of you were growing up. You hope you can help Rachel with the habit before it gets bad. As much as you don't want to talk to Jean, you know you're going to have to discuss this with her. Especially since she's going to have to clean under Rachel's bed at her house. 

When you're done cleaning from under the bed, you decide to strip it so that she can have clean sheets to return to. When you do that, you notice something sticking out from between the mattress and the box spring. The paper looked oddly familiar and you are reminded of the top secret project that she wouldn't let anyone see. You want to respect her privacy but the curiosity and concern takes over and you lift the mattress to pull it out carefully. 

It's a flimsy poster made up of construction paper taped and glued together. At the top in big letters it says, “How to get Ms. Wanda and Baba together!” You pull it all of the way out and sit on the bed with a deep frown on your face as you read the steps of her plan. At the bottom is a little note that says, “Check Rocket for updates.” You set the poster down and go into her closet where you had found her plush raccoon toy earlier. She named it Rocket because it has a spacesuit on and she was in her astronaut phase when she received the toy as a present. 

You didn't know that it had a zipper on the back until now when you find it as you try to figure out how he was storing updates for her. You open it and find folded pieces of paper each labeled with a date. You open the one from the beginning of the year and are shocked to find out that she witnessed the kiss between you and Wanda. You open another one and read about the time that you and Wanda played a dance game together in the living room while you guys thought the kids were playing with each other upstairs. She wrote about how happy Wanda made you. 

Another page, she wrote about how she really felt about her accident. That she was having nightmares about the fall but that sometimes you or Wanda were there to catch her in the dream. She wants Wanda to be her mom. She wrote, “With Anna I didn't get a choice. Mommy loves Momma Anna. She's nice but she isn't Ms. Wanda. I know that I can't make Baba choose Ms. Wanda. But I can make them see that Ms. Wanda is the best person for them. I think Baba could love Ms. Wanda already. They are brighter and happier when we are with Ms. Wanda. The smile on Baba’s face is bigger than when we have Miss Daisy over. I don't like Miss Daisy. She isn't Ms. Wanda.” 

You stop reading because these updates feel like personal journal entries. You fold them back up and stuff them in Rocket. You finish cleaning her room and make her bed. Not sure what else to do, you drive to a nearby store and buy Rachel a real diary with a set of pencils and erasers for her and put it all together in a small gift bag. 

You leave the present in the car when you get to Wanda’s house. You text Wanda to have her meet you outside so that you can chat with her before confronting the kids. You stand outside of your car with the poster and Rocket in your hand. As you were putting the papers back inside, you realized that some of them weren't written by your daughter. So this matter wasn't just a one on one with you and Rachel. The twins were involved as well. 

“What's going on?” Wanda asks as she meets you in the driveway. You hand her the poster and her eyebrows twitch with confusion. She smiles at first and it slowly drops as she processes what she's reading then it returns because it’s so silly. “Honestly, this is so cute. They ship us,” Wanda turns to you with her amused grin. 

“You don't see this as a problem?” You ask as you pull out the “updates” that the kids have written and hand them to her. She reads a couple of pages before her expression changes. 

“Okay, it's kind of creepy knowing that they're watching us so closely. Gahd, I really thought Billy bought that story that you had a nightmare,” she shakes her head as she lowers the pages from her view. “But, I don't know. It's kind of sweet that my boys want me with someone like you. Someone that they've only ever seen make me happy. And that Rachel would choose me to be another mother for her. Especially with everything going on with Jean. How is that by the way?” 

“I stay in my apartment at pick ups and drop offs now. They don't want me near their house,” you state. “Which is fine with me, I don't want to see them either.” Wanda nods to show her understanding of the situation. “Anyway, I think we need to talk to the kids about this. I don't think it's good for them.” 

“They're just kids with an innocent fantasy of becoming a family,” Wanda defends their actions. “What's wrong with letting them continue to believe that they can bring a family together?” 

You frown as you look at the so-called operation. You don't know why you feel the need to crush their dreams. But it's not going to be a reality. “It doesn't seem like it could be damaging? Now I know why Rachel was so adamantly against Daisy. She won't accept anyone I date if she thinks there's a chance,” you look away from Wanda. Avoiding actually having to verbalize a rejection you're still coping with. You close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose as you think about one of the reasons this bothers you. “I started seeing someone. It's still new and I don't think I'm at the point of introducing Rachel to her. But I might someday and I don't want a repeat of last time.”

Wanda tries to keep her expression neutral. She can't believe that you're already feeling serious about someone else. She thought you might date around but in the way she was dating around. Nothing serious, just a person or a few people to have fun with every now and then. She didn't think that you would find someone you would like enough to crush your daughter's dreams. 

“You've made it clear that you don't see that kind of future with me,” you state with an emotionless expression that catches Wanda's attention. She wants to correct you but she doesn't feel that she has the right to. She knows that she is in love with you, but she isn't ready to be in a relationship. Not yet. Telling you those words would only mean she felt that way and not that she was ready to act on them. 

“Right,” she nods. “Well, I don't think we should rush in there and tell them that this will never happen. Let's think about it. If by next Sunday we don't agree on an appropriate approach, then we will think about it longer. It will be okay. Besides, they might grow out of the idea.” 

You nod as you feel a little bit better about the whole thing. “You're right, we shouldn't confront them about it yet.” 

“Where did you get that?” Rachel says with the boys standing behind her. You and Wanda turn to look at them, then look at each other with panic in your eyes. Wanda tries to hand off the evidence to you but you push it back towards her. She pushes it towards you and the two of you go back and forth until you surrender. 

“Kids, we need to have a little chat,” you finally say as you take the papers from Wanda's hands and walk towards the house. You pace in front of the kids as they sit on the sofa. The evidence is displayed on the coffee table between you and them. Wanda stands behind you, leaning against the wall. 

The three kids look at each other as they wait. Each of them comes up with a different story in their heads as they wait under your glare for you to say more. They can't handle your silence and crack under the pressure. Tommy is the first to point a finger at Billy who blames Rachel who then throws Tommy under the bus making him turn on Rachel. It goes in circles until you hold your hand up. They all stop. 

“No one is in trouble,” you start. You look at Wanda who doesn't have much to say on the matter. She wishes they had the week to think about this. You turn back to the children, not quite sure where you're about to go. “We are just concerned because,” you helplessly look back at Wanda. “Want to help me out?” She shakes her head and encourages you to continue. You drop your head for a second and return your attention to the kids. 

“Can you explain what this is exactly?” You ask helplessly. The three children exchange looks but end up deciding to stay quiet in the end. “Okay,” you back up to where Wanda is standing. “I'm not good at this,” you whisper to her. 

“I think you're doing great,” she says with humor in her eyes as she holds back from laughing. You tilt your head at her unamused. She sighs, “Okay, let me try.” She steps forward and crouches down to level with the coffee table. She looks at the pages that are full of words and drawings. Her eyes danced from page to page in thought. “Y/n is right, none of you are in trouble. We're just concerned and a little confused. What exactly are you guys hoping will happen if you,” she looks at the master plan, “‘keep leaving us alone together’ and ‘drop hints to be together.’ Do you guys think that's how families are made?”

Rachel is the first to crack this time. She starts with a shrug. Then a soft, “I don't know.” Wanda nods and with a soft expression she asks Rachel to try and explain the idea. “I just, it started when my Baba was building your wall. And I got to hang out with Billy and Tommy and Luna. I don't like being an only child. I like pretending I'm Billy and Tommy's sister. We have a lot of fun together. Then we were having the kind of family dinners I've always dreamed of. Plus Tommy said that my Baba is nicer to you than their dad.” 

Tommy chooses then to speak up. “They make you smile a lot. Dad, used to make you smile sometimes but not like Y/n. I like how happy you are when they're around.” 

Wanda starts to feel herself getting choked up and you can feel the weight of their words. You decide to sit with Wanda at the coffee table to continue to hear them out. “Yeah, I've never heard Y/n call you mean names. Daddy called you so many mean names,” Billy says next. “He calls us names too and we don't like it. But Y/n is always nice to us and they're nice to you.” 

Wanda tries to fight her tears as she is overwhelmed by her emotions. She fucked up. That's all she can think about. She fucked up. “Mom don't cry, we're sorry,” Tommy says as he stands up and walks around the table to hug his mom. Billy joins in, cutting in between the two of you to hug her other side. It causes Wanda to cry harder even though she doesn't want to be having this breakdown in front of her boys. You start to rub her back to offer your comfort and support. Wanda believed that she was careful to not let the boys witness the darkness that loomed over her relationship with their father. That only recently they've witnessed the relationship taking a turn. To know that they've always been aware of the animosity is heartbreaking. 

Rachel joins the pile. She apologizes as she does and Wanda can't tell her that she shouldn't because she is sobbing. You didn't realize that Wanda had so much pain built up inside of her. You feel guilty that you can't give her the privacy that she gave you weeks ago. With the way she holds onto her boys, it's easy to see that she doesn't mind at the moment. 

When Wanda stops crying she excuses herself to clean up and instead of following her, you stay with the kids. You sit with them and listen to what they have to say. It is flattering to know what the boys think of you. And it's sweet of your daughter to want you to have what she thinks is the type of love her mom found. She wants you to be happy and she thinks that's with Wanda. You sigh at the thought. 

“Honey, I am happy. I don't need a relationship to be happy. You know that,” you say. You don't want her to believe a person's happiness stems from another person.

“I know, but I want you to be happier. Ms. Wanda makes you happier,” she argues and you sigh again. She wasn't wrong but you couldn't tell her that. 

“Alright, we're going to drop this and we're going to order something to eat. How does that sound?” You say because you don't know what else to do. You don't want to tell them that it's not a possibility when deep down, you hope things will change. 

They agree and you clean up their little project. You don't want to throw it away so you just collect it and remove it from the coffee table. You take it out to the truck and put it in an unused folder for safe keeping. You walk back inside to find the three debating on a movie. You take the time to look for Wanda. 

She is lying on her side on her bed. She is clutching a pillow to her chest. You don't walk into her room just yet. Instead, you walk back down stairs and fill a glass with ice and water, the way she enjoys water the most. The kids are focused on a movie when you pass them. 

You gently knock on Wanda's half closed door and wait to be invited in. She lets out a soft, “I'm okay, I'll be down in a few.” 

It breaks your heart to hear her so forlorn. “It's me,” you say in a broken whisper. 

“Come in,” she sniffles and you step through the door. You shut it behind you before you walk to the side of her bed. She doesn't move when she sees the glass of water so you set it on the coaster on her nightstand. You sit on the floor in front of her and the both of you stare at each other for a long time. Her nose is red and her cheeks are pink with puffy eyes. She has mucus making its way down her nose. Her cheeks are wet with tears. You want to take the tissues from her nightstand and wipe her face but you don't want to invade her personal space without her permission. 

“What do you need,” you ask after a while. 

“A time machine,” she answers softly with a small tug on the corner of her lips. You flash a smile and look down at your hand for a second then look back up at her. 

“Don't we all?” You pause and tilt your head so that you match her head's position. “Unfortunately, I don't have access to one of those. Is there anything else I can do for you?” 

Wanda scratches under her nose and cringes. She quickly grabs tissues to clean herself up but it ends up being for nothing as she starts crying again. “I'm sorry, I don't know what's happening.” 

“You've been carrying a lot. It's okay to have moments like this,” you say you offer your hand. She takes it and squeezes it tightly. 

“I know, but why today? Tomorrow would have been better. Or Monday. Or even next Saturday. Why now? When my boys are here. When you and Rachel are here,” she whines as she stuffs more tissues in her face. You frown and sigh as you shake your head. 

“I don't know,” you answer honestly. “At least you’re not experiencing this alone. The kids are fine, they will continue to be fine. I will be here, I will take care of them. I will take care of you. I will-” Wanda’s body starts shaking as she starts to cry hysterically again. “Screw it,” you say as you climb in the bed with her and wrap your body around her to help soothe her. “Breathe, Wanda,” you say as you hold her tightly. “Breathe,” you take slow breaths for her to mimic. She struggles at first but eventually she is able to breathe with you. When she settles down and stops shaking you stop holding her and you climb off of the bed. 

You clear your throat, “Drink your water. I’m going to chat with the kids and order some food. I'll check on you in a bit.” You walk out of the room and shut the door behind you as you do. 

The kids each state what they are craving and so that you can help them come to an agreement, you offer them three options that come close to their requests. Then you have them vote on which one they want the most. Tommy is the first to cast his vote which makes Rachel lean in a different direction. Billy ultimately agrees to whatever Rachel wants so it makes it slightly easier until Tommy gives a compelling argument. It doesn't take too long before you're putting in their orders for Chinese food. You order your favorites and order what you know Wanda likes. 

You stay with the kids and watch the movie with them to allow Wanda the time alone that she wants. Tommy expresses his boredom when you're trying to pick another movie so the four of you start to play a video game while waiting for the food to be delivered. 

When the food does arrive, you serve the kids before you collect Wanda's food and display it on a tray that she has stored in one of her kitchen cabinets. You make her another glass of water and set it on the tray and carefully carry it to her room. Wanda’s face is clearer when you walk in. She sits up in her bed when she sees you and offers a tired smile as you set the tray over her lap. 

“Oh this is perfect. How did you know?” She asks as she looks hungrily at the food on her tray. 

You shrug and smile, “I'm just that good.” You grab her empty cup from the nightstand. “I'll leave you to it.” She thanks you as you walk out of the room. You enjoy your meal with the kids on your own and when everyone has cleared their messes from the table, you decide to bring out a board game. Wanda finds the four of you laughing together while she is bringing her tray of empty dishes down the stairs. Instead of continuing on, she hides in the shadows and just watches. 

She used to do this when the boys were younger, usually after fighting with Vision. She thought about leaving him so many times but then she'd see him with the boys. He would be watching a soccer game and the boys would want his attention. He would typically ignore them or give them something to distract them or he'd send them off to their room. Those times, she worried about what their lives would be like without her. But there were moments when he was a doting father. He'd play with them. He'd watch their favorite movies with them, at the time they were animated musicals, and he'd sing along. That's when she was reminded of how she fell for him in the first place. Because when he was in a good mood, he could light up a room. He had the ability to make everyone feel as good as he felt. His mood swings were not healthy, but she couldn't justify leaving him at the time. 

Now she wishes that she had done it sooner. She wonders if she had left him before he left her, would she have been able to let you in when you confessed your feelings to her? She wonders if she would have this doubt that she will ruin you and make you as bitter as Vision. Logically, she knows that Vision has always been who he is. But there is a convincing irrational voice in her head that says she is the reason Vision went from loving and present to distant and bitter. 

She walks down with her tray and a fresh face. She tries to pass without bringing attention to herself but her boys jump out of their seats and run up to hug her. Wanda smiles as she greets them. You stand up and take the tray from her hands so that she can hug her boys. She thanks you as you take it all to the sink. 

“Do you want to join us?” You ask, walking out of the kitchen. 

“Um, I don't know. I don't want to mess with whatever you guys have going on,” she says as she looks at the board and how far they are into the game. 

“Oh we were just about to start a new game, right guys?” You try to get the kids to go along with you but they disagree. 

“You only want to start over because you're losing!” Rachel says, making you shake your head to deny the accusation. 

“Mom, we're kicking Y/n’s butt,” Billy giggles as he looks up at his mom. 

“Yeah, Y/n only wants us to start over because they're really bad,” Tommy laughs as he squeezes his arms around his mom.

“Alright, alright,” you surrender. “We're not starting a new game but I can use your help with being the banker. It's been difficult for me to keep track of everything on my own.”

“Okay, sure,” Wanda sits down next to you and takes over the banker role. She mediates arguments with the rule book. She helps you catch up with the kids with some tricks she's learned over the years and you wink at her when you notice the difference her help has made for you. 

When the game is over and Billy has won, Tommy looks like he's about to throw a fit but you quickly tell him how impressive he was throughout the game. Then you say that you are proud of both of them. He holds his hand out to his brother, says “Good game,” then goes upstairs to get ready for bed. 

You take Rachel home after washing the dishes and saying goodnight to Wanda and the boys. You give her the gift and suggest that she should start writing how she feels in the journal instead of random notes stored in her stuffed animal. She thanks you with a hug. When you get home you sit her down and talk to her about her recent food habits and ask her to come to you when she's ready and that for now, the two of you will be eating all meals at the table including snacks. 

“You're not in trouble,” you clarify when she starts to cry and apologize. “Your mom struggled with food for a long time, honey. It's not your fault baby girl. It's no one's fault. Just, we're going to figure this out together okay?” You say as you hold your struggling daughter. Promising her that everything will be okay. 

The next morning, you decide you have to violate the new rules that Jean and Anna have implemented with pick ups and when Anna sends the text that she and Jean are waiting for Rachel in the parking garage, you walk with your daughter hand in hand. Anna gets out of the car when she sees you in order to keep you away. 

“You're not supposed to come out, we still haven't forgiven you yet,” Anna says defensively. 

“We agreed that Rachel comes first, I need to talk to Jean about her,” you state firmly. Rachel squeezes your hand and looks up at you. She shakes her head. 

“I don't want to talk about it with mom, please baba,” she pleads and you lower yourself to her level. 

“Honey, your mom can help you with this better than I can. She needs to know. She can help me too,” you explain. 

Anna softens a bit and turns to the car to tell Jean to get out. The four of you walk back into your apartment and sit down at the kitchen table. You go over what you found underneath Rachel's bed and some of the things you read from papers you found around her room. You didn't mention that it was from entries for her plan to get you to be with Wanda. That wasn't necessary. Jean covers mouth and starts to cry as she thinks of her history with this struggle and feels terrible for passing this trait onto her. You rub her back as you offer her comfort telling her to not blame herself. 

“Our differences aside, I will always put Rachel first as I’m sure you feel the same way,” you say while you hold Jean’s hand between yours. She nods as she agrees and that’s when Anna rises out of her chair. It feels a little abrupt to you.

Anna watches her wife be comforted by her ex over an issue that she wasn’t aware of. She had no idea that Jean had a food problem and she starts to realize that the signs have always been there. Moments when Jean would only serve her and Rachel and claim that she had a big lunch. Or the odd smell that came from Rachel’s room and the way that she would freeze whenever it was mentioned to her. The missing items of her step-daughter’s clothing that she couldn’t find and Rachel claimed she left it at her Baba’s house. She can’t believe she missed the signs. And she feels isolated from the family again. She feels isolated from her wife as she watches you and Jean start to make a plan for helping Rachel. Another reminder that she is your daughter.

You are unaware that Anna feels left out as you focus on Rachel and her needs. Jean thanks you for bringing this situation to her during this tense time between the two of you.

You let go of Jean’s hand as you get up to walk your daughter out of your home. “Honey, I don’t think that’s a good idea today,” Jean tries to explain. “It’s been a very emotional day for us. I don’t know if Rachel is up for that.” 

Anna clears her throat and checks her phone, “We have to go, my mom invited us to see my parents' new place. Um, bye, Y/n,” she doesn’t look at you as she starts towards the front door.

Anna stops outside the door, “Sure she does!” You are confused when she smiles at Rachel. Anna used to be the kind of person that would initiate a conversation like this. You learned a lot from her on how to be present, question, and listen to your daughter's actions and words. You don’t understand why she is brushing off something like early signs of an eating disorder. “Don’t you want to see Gammy and Pop-pop?” You cringe at the way she is talking to your daughter with a baby voice. You wonder what’s going on with her. 

Rachel shakes her head and wipes her tears as she leans into your side. “No, I just want to go home,” she says in a small voice. 

Jean looks at Rachel and starts to comb her hair with her fingers then looks at Anna, “Babe, let’s just go home. I’ll call your mom and apologize to her myself.” 

“Fine. Yeah. Okay,” Anna mutters as she walks off. 

Jean sighs, things have been weird between them after they lost the baby. Anna wants a family of her own. She knew that you weren't going anywhere and that you are very involved in your daughter's life. But she thought that she would be able to have more than a third of a say in what happens in her family. She thought you would keep your life separate from her's and Jean's and at first when she realized that the two of you were still close she thought she could handle that. Now, she almost prefers it when the two of you are fighting. Jean senses a frustration and a shift from Anna and she has begun to fear that her marriage might be in jeopardy. 

After Rachel is gone, you sit in your apartment alone in silence for a moment. Letting go of the tension in your body. This was an emotional weekend. It started off pretty light then plummeted from there. You need some relief. Your first thought is Wanda because you’re not sure if she should be alone today. But you decide against the idea. You can’t be there for her like a partner would and that’s exactly what it would feel like. If she wants to hang out, she will call you. Next, you think about dialing Darcy up to hang out and when you can't think of a reason not to, she declines your invitation. She is supervising the team that is packing up her belongings. You can’t believe that it’s almost been three months since she told you she was leaving. 

You haven't had a one on one with Steve since you found out about his relationship with your coworker. You've hardly even spoken to Bucky, who you've seen every day since. Neither knows that you're aware of their relationship. They think you're still upset over Steve's bad attempt at a joke. You're not against them being together but it's just weird for you. 

You knew Peggy and you liked her enough for your friend. For some time you thought her and Steve would get married and start a family. You feel somewhat responsible for breaking them up by introducing Steve to Bucky. Rationally, you are aware that you're not at fault. But you can't help the guilt. And you're not ready to face them about it. 

So you call the least complicated person in your life at the moment and invite her over. Nebula is more than happy to see you for a second time this weekend.

Chapter 20

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick

[bitchlesshazard69]

I don't ever make posts, but I'm a huge Mystreet fan. Ever since the recent vidcon, I've had thoughts about the new animation style that wants to take up Mystreet. This must be a very controversial thought, and I will try and remain respectful in this post about why Aphmau should discontinue this style of animation and why it is such a hazard for the show's gain.

Being this an indie series, I know animation can be tough, but there seems to be very easy steps to prevent this mess up. I have noticed the new bodies the females have in the new animation style and I can say for certain that they are very awkward. There was no complaints on the old style, (preferred style) at all, yet Jess has decided to update them anyways. A fully animated direction might've not been so bad or made such a big difference if the animation wasn't entirely awkward; not just the animation; yet for the females.

The male designs haven't changed much, but tell me why the decision to give the woman curves, heavy blush and boobs was necessary. There are many flaws to the new female bodies, as they cookie cut all of the female characters into this short, tiny limbed person with boobs and awkward proportions. I know this is her channel's new animation style, yes, but these aspects feel so drawn to a simple minded audience. Even if it's supposed to be a show targeted for children, will it be an excuse.

In the first image with teen Aaron and Aphmau, we can see the new animation isn't so bad for the males as it is for the woman. Aphmau looks high.

In Katelyn's image next to a Christmas tree, do we have the awkward body that Katelyn was given. The females constantly have blush on their faces as well as large eyes, and the portions of their body get awkward to fit this female stereotype.

The kawaii~chan image has to be one of the most awkward shots. This shot really brings out why it's a bad choice. They may seem cute to Jess, but she hasn't seen the flaw of how it would be hard to ever do serious scenes with this new style. The old style was cute as well as fit to suite every mood, and there was no need to change it. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Another shot with Aphmau and Aaron in the sky. The "realistic" woman proportions next to the Minecraft body of Aaron is extremely awkward and out of control. Katelyn in her swimsuit in the next shot is much worse.

Animation is hard, and there could be so much passion into this, yet it doesn't cover up how sexist the new bodies are for the females. The next image with Ivy and her crew explains that all so well. Jess would probably never read this, but I hope she takes the time to consider these changes can only do the worst for the show. The proportions look awkward with Minecraft and even downright inappropriate. Seriously, no one asked for all females to get downsized to short with boobs and thick thighs. Not a single soul. Everyone would be fine with the old style coming back, and I feel if others speak about it enough, we'll be listened too about these changes.

It feels like a shameless sexualization/stereotype to our beloved female characters and in no way did they need this. If the animation style MUST stay, then at least do us this and make all the bodies the same, leveled, equal blocky character as the Minecraft gods intended them to be. The males look practically fine.

The last picture shows the men and how the animation style actually could work out(Opinion wise, I will always prefer the old style of how things worked) but if Jess wants an animated series, that is completely fine. It would make a huge difference to bring back their old body shapes.

It is such a strong change, that it could end up ruining the show completely for other people. I wouldn't be surprised if people got offended over how the new woman bodies are "stylized". Seriously, this doesn't need to be.

[juriyuna]

This scene in Nagisa's Wish is funny enough on its own, but like. The layers. I can't decide if it gets better or worse the longer I think about it.

Inui works as a hostess at a club, meaning that she's at least 18; most likely in her 20s. She has presumably been a magical girl for a few years. This does not deter Yuu, also a veteran adult magical girl in her 20s, from offering Inui one (1) tasty fruit juice as an apology like they're children on the playground.

(this is extra funny when you remember that since yuu is a prolific body broker, there's a very good chance that she's filthy rich. don't spoil inui too much, now. to be fair to yuu she probably forgot she could just offer to pay inui back normally)

From Yuu's perspective, she feels like she's being totally reasonable. Shii vicariously experiences other people's trauma and suffering in her nightmares, so the fact that she wrote Shou's name on her list means that this dude is abusing someone in real life and needs to go. He's verifiably a Bad Guy-- wouldn't it be for the best if he was dead? (Never mind that Inui has literally no idea where this "list" comes from or why it exists, so Yuu just sounds completely insane talking about it.)

And that's all the context Yuu has. She doesn't know that Inui is the one who's been getting abused by Shou; she doesn't even seem to know that they're a couple. As far as Yuu is concerned, Shou is some random chump that Inui is getting inexplicably hostile over. But she figures there's gotta be a reason why Inui doesn't want him to die, and while she can't call off her mission, she still feels guilty about making Inui upset. Is there anything she can do to help take the sting out...? Yuu would hate to leave this nice girl in a tough spot with zero compensation.

From Inui's perspective, this is somewhere between extremely scary and incredibly patronizing.

Shou, Inui's boyfriend and Yuu's current target, is the asshole on the train in PMMM who boasted about taking every penny his girlfriend earns because women are "dumb bitches" who "can't be trusted with money". Inui has been working so much overtime that she can't even go out to hunt for grief seeds anymore, but she doesn't get to keep any of the money she makes; Shou forces her to hand it all over. So yeah, he does indeed owe Inui far more than a single juice would make up for. Yuu doesn't know about any of this either, but man... that line must've felt like salt in the wound.

Just. God. Imagine being Inui here. You're exhausted, hurting, and at the end of your rope. Kyubey has been hounding you about "neglecting your duties" all week. You have a boyfriend who's emotionally, physically, and financially abusive to the point that you're barely able to function, but you're so desperate for love that you've convinced yourself the abuse is your own fault; he can't be a bad person. Then you find out that a towering hitman nicknamed the Sleepwalking Ghost is after him. She has a 100% kill rate. Though you know deep down why your boyfriend is on her list, you're terrified of losing the one person in your life who occasionally throws you tiny scraps of affection, so you muster all of your courage to try to talk her out of it... And this grown-ass woman looks you in the eye and says:

"Would an apple juice make you feel better? :("

I would blow a gasket.

[euniexenoblade]

sorry fi your tired of hearing this but I was just curious about your views on cheating because I’m having trouble seeing the idea that cheating isn’t a big deal? Sorry if I’m misinterpreting you it’s just I would consider myself monogamous so I’m just curious on your point of view.

cheating is usually a symptom of a larger problem

in my experience, most people who cheat are women who are trapped in abusive relationships (of course there are men) and the abusers use the fact the other person cheats as this way to get the person excluded and isolated from support networks and friend groups ("i mean, you did cheat")

the previous has also been especially true with polyamorous people. i've known multiple people who realized they were poly and when they talked to their partners about either opening the relationship up or breaking up, the partner has gone full abusive to keep the monogamous relationship around, and when the relationship falls apart the abusive partner always accuses the poly person of cheating whether they did or not, which usually fucks up that persons friend groups. multiple people have related to this sentiment when i made my post about it, so it appears to not be rare.

i also feel like people care too much about other people's relationships. ive said it before, but people care too much about people they don't know who are in situations they dont know. they just hear someone cheated and it's instantly "CHEATERS DESERVE DEATH"

the knee jerk reactions to the concept of cheating is treated like it's worse than murder or rape. like, nuance and understanding does not seem to ever matter to people on the topic of cheating, it's always "cheating is always wrong" and "cheaters deserve death" or whatever.

i think it's really interesting how there's never nuance on this topic, the story telling trope of "woman gets trapped in an abusive marriage but finds love in another man when she leaves the house" is such a popular story archetype that gets told, not to mention it's a very real thing. not to mention the age old story of gay people realizing they're gay after they're married. do these gay people deserve death for hiding in societal norms of sexuality and pursuing their gay lives late in life?

yeah, not all cheaters are victims of abuse, there's misogynistic men and what not that do it. but in my experience, those are not the people that ever get their lives shit on for being cheaters. they get to live on and do their thing until a wakeup call.

and then, as always, i am polyamorous. i do not understand the concept of cheating as a whole. if my partner wants to go sleep with someone, that's neat. my husband goes on grindr dates with people i dont know and that's rad. happy for him. he doesn't need to ask for my permission. i do not own his body (well, maybe i do when kink is involved but i digress). i struggled with monogamous relationships since i was a tween, and i think a lot of people struggle the same ways and need to discover they don't need to be monogamous, and I don't feel comfortable demonizing people struggling with what society tells them is ok for a relationship.

I am not saying you can't be hurt. I am not saying you have to forgive a person cheating on you. But, also, not everyone is you, people don't deserve death for cheating, nuance needs to exist for the overall picture.

[biochem-in-training]

The Entrapment Analysis

I can understand why fans are bothered with Colin's comments to Penelope about her "planned entrapment" to him. I get it. It sounds so rude and out of character.

Unfortunately, i'm not bothered by that comment at all; I know he doesn't mean it. That's his angry, betrayed and hurtful thoughts; he's emotionally spiriling out of control. I knew Colin does regret his words to her, as much as she regrets ruining the Bridgertons and others. He's still the sensitive boi everyone knows and loves (Except for his swagness. But I feel him, as I also want to fit in rather than stand out from the crowd). However, unlike a certain Avatar: The Last Airbender character (who I still admire btw), Colin still wants to be with Penelope, eternally; he's not letting her go regardless if she's LW.

This Tumblr user and Bridgerton fan analysed it and it was chef's kiss. 👌 They said these words perfectly. That's what I like to see: critical analysis. It's long, but worth a good read (and hopefully change your opinion about Colin's behaviour).

But now, here's my explanation why I am not bothered by that comment.

He realises that Penelope is not who she thinks she is. I'm assuming that his perspective on Pen is that she is clueless, dependent and shy, not realising that she is actually clever, critical and an independent woman who don't need a man. I think that bothers Colin, as he realises that she doesn't need him. Hence he went cuckoo and desperate, and trapped in his thoughts.

Colin's past torment and Relationship PTSD has frightened him because he doesn't want to get his heart broken, again. Ever since Marina's Deceptive Engagement Drama, Colin feels betrayed and tricked into a marriage. But unlike with Marina, Colin actually wants to continue the engagement with Penelope. He could've just leave and end the engagement/marriage, as Pen keeps suggesting all the time and what he did to Marina, but I have NEVER seen him mentioning nor thought about it once. He's still in a one directional pathway of staying with her because she's his True Home and he'll never let her go, regardless if she plans to trap him into marriage.

Colin wants to be the one that Penelope will learn to love and accept him. Remember, he doesn't know her true feelings to him, as she just said she "loved" him, in past tense, at the church scene. No confession nor heartfelt speech, yet. As the event continues when Cressia blackmails Pen, it seems that Colin takes the "greatest opportunity" to show Pen that he can do this. He wants her to see him as her hero, someone worthy of her and wants to make her proud of having him as a husband. He wants to earn her love. It failed spectacularly, heh.

Colin acting like my favourite broody men for being a loser and worthless. That's the reason why there is no "Angry Polin Sex", because he failed to protect her, so he lost his honour. If they actually do it, it would be so bad and their relationship would be worse. I'm happy Colin stays in his Drama Queen™ moments instead of doing it; he feels as if he can't do anything to earn her love and he's still trapped in his doubts.

Colin wants to know exactly what Penelope sees in him and why she wanna marry him and his lameass skills. When he finds Pen outside before the wedding, he confronts her, asking why she is a mean ass, even though he's a thick skulled and passive dumbass. Also, the fact Pen chastises Colin via a public forum, it makes him feel embarassed. He berates to her why she calls him a fake ass bitch, which unfortunately HE IS; Pen confesses that she just wants her Old Colin back, duh. Additionally as Colin ask "what good am I to you?", which is his self-doubt talking, Pen says that she LOVES him, present tense. That caused him to brain-circuit and realises that she loves him for who he is, not what he can provide. Now he is slowly unraveling that he's no longer trapped. Someone actually loves him, just him.

And then there's a beautiful explanation of breaking free from the "entrapment".

Colin realises that Pen saves his family just as much as he saves hers; they are not trapped together, they want to solve things together. After Colin criticises Lady Featherington for shadowing Pen, he causes a major shift in mending the Featherington generational trauma; I love that scene. Pen releases an article to prove that she is not Cressida and revealing herself as LW to the Ton, to save the Bridgertons from being scrutinised. They save each other. Therefore, they are no longer 'trapped' with each other; they are now free to be with each other fully.

Colin has finally emotionally connected with her. So when he's truly accepting her and their feelings are reciprocated, that's when they are one and the same, and that's beautiful (even though I didn't see much of their make-up wedding night sex 😒). Now they are no longer entrapped but embracing each other.

Ultimately, the fact that Colin uses that "entrapment" comment to get back on Pen for hurting his feelings, but he's actually closed off and feels like a fool. Please understand his perspective as it helps to feel sympathetic for him; he may be rude to Pen, but he's concealing his feelings, like Anthony, because he doesn't want to get heartbroken, again. However, his regret for saying it causes him to fix things for her not because they are trapped with each other but because he LOVES her and wants her to stay with him, for life and death and beyond. After they break from the entrapment, their love has finally blossomed, and it's a beautiful redemption of their character. And this is one of the reasons why I completely understand and love Polin for that.

[seramilla]

I was so excited I don’t think I actually finished the sentence in my first ask. Ignore that.

Please can I have more SeraMille adopted daughter Vaggie?!?!?

Idk if this is a new au but this is immaculate. Gimme.

You don’t have to include it but can you imagine

“she was my daughter first!”

“How was she your daughter you weren’t even there?”

Amazingly this works no matter who is saying what.

Carmilla and Sera just stand there dumbstruck for a few moments after Vaggie exits, looking for all the world like fluffed up, crumpled cats who'd been startled by a loud noise. Then, after the fog of confusion has lifted, they both stand there looking at each other, pointing their fingers and/or claws in accusation and bewilderment.

"YOU KNOW VAGGIE?!" both women shout in unison. Then a pause, followed by a "HOW? WHEN? WHY?" They both need to stop reading each other's minds.

After calming down with a few deep breaths, Sera asks in a more measured voice, "How do you know Vaggie?!"

"I'm her mentor!" Carmilla shouts, finding it a little more difficult to understand how the High Seraphim of Heaven knows a former Exorcist in the first place. Especially this one in particular. "Who do you think supplied the Hotel with holy arms? I'm her benefactor now! How do you know her?!"

Sera stands in silence for a minute, then finally admits, "I...I met her during my annual audit of the Exorcist barracks. She was so...private and small. Always off by herself, not training with the others. I wanted to make sure she was okay, and we started talking every year. She started coming out of her shell after that, but I didn't see her again until the Morningstar's daughter showed up at my doorstep!"

Carmilla doesn't seem satisfied with that answer. What business does the High Seraphim of Heaven have mingling with the Exorcists in the first place? Sera had told Carmilla she hadn't wanted anything to do with Adam's (now Lute's) army since the first man fell. But it seems like some of Sera's actions from those times are coming back to haunt her.

And then Vaggie walking right into the room just as Sera had been so thoroughly sucking Carmilla's face...Carmilla wonders if her ego will ever recover from this. How had she not noticed the other angel coming toward her office? She's usually much more aware of her surroundings than this! She's getting slow on the uptake.

"Just so we're clear," Carmilla starts, shooting the Seraphim a glare that's full of more heat than Sera had been expecting, "I am her mentor now. Whatever Adam and Lute did to her, I am the one who's spent the last several months trying to undo all that damage they inflicted on her psyche. I taught her how to fight against her own kind. I'm the one she has sought guidance from. I do not need you interfering and bringing back traumatic memories of that time for her. I love you, but please, if you would...keep your distance from Vaggie."

Sera is absolutely gobsmacked. Her lower jaw literally hangs open at Carmilla's words, unable to believe that the overlord is really asking this of her.

"What...what are you talking about? You don't have any claim to that girl! Who do you think protected her and the other Exorcists in Heaven?! If not for me, Adam may have done so much worse to her, long ago. You know how he treated any soldiers that he deemed weak! I saved her! She was my ward, first!"

Carmilla moves away from Sera. She wants to say so much in response, but what good comes from arguing right now? She hadn't wanted to fight with the Seraphim today. She'd thought they'd moved past so many of their misgivings about each other, but apparently...there is still a lot of baggage there. They will have to deal with it, eventually, if they intend to move forward in this little secret relationship of theirs. But right now...

Vaggie needs comfort. Carmilla needs to find her, explain everything, and make sure she is all right. So instead of arguing, Carmilla turns on her heels, heading for the door to her office. When Sera tries to stop her, Carmilla shoots her a glance. One that beseeches Haven't you caused enough damage today? Sera looks so...meek and disarmed by that glare of hers.

Sera pulls back, and doesn't say anything. Instead, she simply looks at Carmilla in disappointment, opens a portal, and then makes her way back to Heaven, where Carmilla thinks she belongs right now.

It doesn't take long for Carmilla to find Vaggie. Anytime the fallen angel is distressed, her first and primary source of comfort is Charlie, so Carmilla makes her way to the hotel, not ready for the stares from the patrons, or to have to start answering questions for why an overlord is there. Not many in Hell know Carmilla is one of Charlie's greatest allies now, given how fond Carmilla has become of Vaggie.

Her alliances and power are tedious, and her strength lies more in what her enemies don't know, rather than what they do. Vaggie can defend herself just fine, but Carmilla doesn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to the angel, if she can help it.

Carmilla manages to dodge a few patrons in the lobby. Thankfully, most of Charlie's lessons have concluded for the long weekend ahead, so it's not difficult for the overlord to sneak by. She's light on her feet, so making her way up the stairs only manages to alert Alastor, who's been watching her carefully through his shadows. He won't harm her or alert anyone to her presence, though. He knows better than that, with Lucifer around.

Vaggie had confided to Carmilla that she loves the library. She'd spent a lot of time in there after Charlie found her, using it as a sanctuary and an opportunity to learn about her new home here in Hell. That's where Carmilla ultimately finds her, bent over on the floor crying, as Charlie kneels beside her, patting her back and stroking her hair.

Charlie doesn't say anything to the overlord when she notices her...just sort of glares up at her with that same disappointment that Sera had given her before she fucked off back to Heaven. Carmilla decides right then and there that she absolutely despises that look. She's getting it from all sides today!

That's when Vaggie notices Carmilla, too. She looks like she might protest Carmilla's presence here, but Charlie gives the angel a quick peck on her cheek, saying "It's all right, sweetie, I'll be right outside," before shooting Carmilla that fucking disappointed glare again, and leaving to give the two their privacy in the library.

"What do you want, Carmilla?" Vaggie asks, voice all nasally and congested from crying. Vaggie wipes a string of stray snot from her nose. She's trying to hide her face, not quite successfully, hoping that Carmilla won't see her in such a state. Carmilla can't help that sudden sinking feeling of her heart falling into her guts. It's awful. She wants to throw up.

"I wanted to check on you. Make sure you're okay. Vaggie...I'm so sorry you had to witness such a sight. I didn't...I didn't mean for you to see that."

"See what?" Vaggie's tone is a little mocking at this point. She seems done with any explanations Carmilla might give, but still demands answers from her, anyway. "See my mo--mentor fucking kissing an angel?! And Sera of all people?! My first mentor? What the fuck were you thinking, Carmilla?!"

Carmilla's own anger and frustration starts to flare, just a little. Just enough to feel the heat creep up the back of her neck and into her face. She knows Vaggie is confused, but she doesn't have to talk to her like that. She doesn't have the right...

"I was thinking that I love that angel, Vaggie. Which you might know, had you bothered to ask me instead of running away. Mine and Sera's relationship is tenuous, but it goes back much farther than you think. It's complicated. I had no idea of your history with her. If I had, I would have explained myself sooner."

"How can you love her?" Vaggie asks, completely dumbfounded by this revelation from the overlord. She stands up, finally facing Carmilla on her own terms. "Didn't you know she betrayed me and Charlie? She let Adam and his fucking army lay waste to our old hotel! She's sold her fucking soul to Heaven! What is there left to love?!"

"Stop it," Carmilla barks, claws fisting together so tightly, they almost pierce the skin of her palms. Vaggie doesn't know...can't possibly know the history she and the High Seraphim share. Can't possibly comprehend all the invisible strings and power plays at work in Heaven that had forced Sera's hand when it came to Adam. Maybe someday Vaggie will...Carmilla needs to have that conversation with her. Someday. But right now, she's too frazzled.

Every word that Vaggie utters about her lover is like an angelic weapon directly speared through her own heart. Every single one is like a sleight against her personally, in ways Vaggie can't possibly understand. Carmilla's heart is wrenched open like a raw, infected thing. Vaggie can't know all the ways in which her words are physically, emotionally painful. So Carmilla goes easy on her...she doesn't need to know all the details right now. She can still protect Vaggie from that...for a while.

Carmilla moves toward Vaggie, noticing how the little angel flinches and almost pulls back from her, before Carmilla places her hand on Vaggie's cheek. She wipes away the salt and moisture from the stray tears that continue to fall from Vaggie's eye. Her huge claw makes the fallen angel look so small. Vaggie looks up at her then, beseeching Carmilla for answers; desperately seeking realness from one of the few people who bothered to care about her and Charlie down here.

"There is so much I want to tell you," Carmilla explains, but that's as far as that explanation gets. "I will tell you. I promise. You have my word. But for now, just know that Sera's control in Heaven isn't absolute. She and I have a complicated history. But I...I can't help my feelings for her. I'm very sorry you had to find out about it this way. But please...if you can trust me...I won't keep something like that from you again."

Vaggie still doesn't seem to find this explanation adequate, but she nods. She looks off into the middle distance, past Carmilla's shoulder, still visibly frustrated, but her face going softer now.

"...You promise?"

"I promise, mija."

Carmilla pulls Vaggie in for a tight hug, just then. Carmilla is worried Vaggie might pull away, but the fallen angel doesn't.

She actually hugs Carmilla tighter. Carmilla allows herself to let out the relieved, quiet sigh she'd been holding in the last several minutes, and lets her body go slack, as Vaggie buries her face deeper in Carmilla's front.

Thank fuck, Carmilla thinks, that her adopted daughter doesn't hate her.

[commsroom]

how would the characters do working in a public service job, such as retail? I'm particularly curious about hilbert, kepler, and minkowski.

you know, you can really tell that nobody in wolf 359 other than eiffel has ever worked retail. it explains a lot about them.

it's impossible to imagine hilbert working retail in any context that isn't just. a joke for how out of place he would be. everything hilbert does is for his research, and he considers anything else a pointless distraction. he thinks that "bedside manner is like anesthetic: it just gets in the way of what needs to be done." honestly, i wish i could make hilbert work customer service. it would be torture for him, and he would say the kinds of things to customers that most people can only fantasize about. if you put him in a retail job, somehow, he would still just disappear into a dark storage room to do god knows what. i think hilbert would let people shoplift. he doesn't care.

kepler... could thrive in retail, actually. that's really scary. not that he would like it, but that he's got that kind of personality type and work ethic. the version of kepler who hollowed himself to become the manager of a dick's sporting goods might be worse than regular kepler, for the limited power it would offer him. but stagnation would drive him crazy. kepler really values progress - always working harder, doing more. he doesn't mind being a cog in the corporate machine, but that would be a much less. complex machine, compared to his real ambitions. he would still tell the exact same stories.

minkowski would be very, very frustrated by a job like that, but she would take it very seriously. she would enforce every nonsensical, nit-picky little policy to the letter. she would want to run that place like the navy, for sure, but people wouldn't be scared of her the way they'd be scared of someone like kepler. she's a tryhard people pleaser, and she tries to come across as strict and no-nonsense, but i think minkowski really takes people at their word and it wouldn't be hard for both customers & her employees to walk all over her once they figured out how she operates, and which of her threats are empty. that's what eiffel did. if she wasn't in a management position, it would be even worse for her. she would grit her teeth, and try very, very hard, and she would hate every moment of it.

characters you didn't ask about, but i have to talk about anyway:

i think lovelace would be a relatively cool manager who would take your side if a customer was a jerk to you, and she wouldn't really care about the rules as long as things got done. but it would be difficult for her to hold a lower-level position, unless she had a cool manager.

eiffel is the only one of them who's canonically worked food service (and a whole assortment of dead-end jobs he got fired from within a few months) and he approaches his current job pretty much the same as i imagine he approached his job at pizza hut. he complains about his boss, zones out, maybe even falls asleep. if he could wander outside and smoke, he would. eiffel and hera are really the only two people here who don't have career ambitions. almost everyone else wants something more, in their own ways, but eiffel just wants to clock out, go home, and relax. doesn't really matter what the job is, he just doesn't want to be at work. respectable.

and hera is already doing the equivalent of putting on a customer service voice, seething with contempt, and then going to cry in the bathroom, like, every day of her life. so...

[sysig]

It’ll all go fine if you’d just don’t worry about it, probably (Patreon)

[densitywell]

Marisha's comment about how Relvin is one of those parents who ended up with a child they didn't know what to do with really gets to the heart of it, i think, and is such a good way to tie the fantasy element of Imogen's powers into things more tangible. because there are really a lot of parents like Relvin in real life, who have a child with the person they're happily married to and never expect to be left alone with the kid. or who expect a ""normal"" (read: cisgender and heterosexual, able-bodied, relatively neurotypical and obedient, etc.) child and end up with one who's ""difficult"", who demands more or different of them than what they believe they signed up for. and that's not entirely entitlement on a parent's part- many cultures' common frameworks of parenthood and child-rearing do not include space for these children. it makes sense that Relvin was unprepared. raising any child is difficult, and raising a child whose needs you were never taught how to accommodate, who the world is so cruel to, is even more challenging.

and yet. and yet, the person who bears the brunt of the harm in these situations will always be the child. they're the ones who have to live every moment of how the world treats them, without the support that their parent is supposed to provide them. and when asked to care for his child even when she turned out to be ""difficult"", Relvin couldn't. for entirely sympathetic reasons, of course. he tried, in his own way. i don't think he's a bad guy. but he's let his own broken heart bleed onto his daughter. he hasn't been able to give her much else.

[wearethewitches]

inspired by my own fic idea - but why do folks write enemies to lovers daemon x reader, or daemon x ofc, when rhea royce is right there?

[kittlyns]

A hard pill for me to swallow lately has been that, despite everything, I'm probably the best version of myself that could've existed. And that's not really a comforting thought.

[bibiana112]

I too wish that the medical hack that made me grow up in a purgatory like state of existence would rot in prison Akane was so real for this

[badgetfowles]

the one thing I don't understand about how they wrote jackie's character is the first scene they show us of her. if she's meant to be a doomed character, representing the last grip of society (which i'm usually against writing characters who are meant to only exist as a metaphor) before they can all dive head-first into horror; why does she clearly despise so much of the pretense? why is the first scene of jackie one that shows us she actually doesn't enjoy her role, she doesn't like Jeff.

[poolsidescientist]

I think one of my biggest fantasies in life is being able to live somewhere/with someone that I can come and go as I please. Have my own car, not have to rely on other people or explain why I can’t be home of take care of people/the dog/etc. at all time. People think I’m greedy for wanting a well-paying job but having to take care of people you’re dependant on is really shitty and money would 100% solve this problem.