#i know people have struggled with that in the past

[phantom-chirp]

Something I think about a lot with Maruki's perfect reality thing in terms of Akechi is how like, defanged he is for lack of a better term. I know Maruki's actual reasoning for things like that is just that his perfect reality removes a lot of the trauma from people, so they would inherently act differently, but to me it ends up just pushing the idea of "you can't be happy the way that you are"

It's reflected in a lot of the characters honestly, since a lot of their trauma didn't happen or is covered up by the reality none of them are themselves. Aspects of their personality caused by the hardships they faced no longer exist

Sumire is also a big example of this. I could talk a lot about Sumire but in relation to this topic, again her perfect reality being one where she is not herself (literally) and doesn't have any of the past trauma or experiences that made her who Sumire is just pushes that idea even more, not even getting into how it also reinforces her own negative ideas about herself by Maruki doing that

In the perfect reality, Akechi and Sumire are both different people than who they actually are, so it's really not a reality in which they are happy, is it? "You're too broken of a person to ever be happy while being who you are" is the message that gets sent across to me, whether or not Maruki intended that

Sumire is Kasumi now, a happy and determined person who isn't bitter and angry and overwhelmed with grief about the death of her sister, a person who doesn't hate herself and a person who doesn't have those experiences. Someone who now never has the chance to explore who she really is and grow and face her struggles head on, someone who will never get to learn that she is worth more than she grew up believing, replaced by the sister who she always felt was better then her

Akechi is now a cheerful and kind person, a reflection of his Detective Prince act, who is no longer resentful and lonely, no longer traumatized from all the actions he had to take throughout his life and someone who could've found happiness if he just had more time. Someone who had people who accepted the parts of him that would make most view him as unworthy of affection, the less palatable person who longed for someone to want him, as he is, replaced by a version of him that's seen as easier to love

[in-death-sacrifice]

Okay so I gave this idea of being a companion for Rook and having a mutual pining think going on with Lucanis. Could you write anything like that?

Warnings: Mutual pinning, Comfort, Fluff, One bed trope!

Lucanis Dellamorte x GN!Rook

Hope you enjoy! Requests are open so please send them my way! I am working on a couple of oneshots too! Along with some smut so if there's any kinks you think work well with our assassins you want to see it send them in my requests!❤️

Lucanis stared at the ceiling, his heart beating so wildly as he looked at you. Your body so close to his, tucked perfectly under the covers as exhaustion finally crept in. He should sleep but he was worried about spite, about where he might end up without people guarding the exits. Or without the safety of being tucked away in a spot of the fade that no one could enter.

The group were exhausted after their fight against the antaam, most of them almost beaten to pulp with their new weaponry. You all chose to sleep in a nearby inn, the only trouble there was only one room left that was finished with a Twin and Double. He offered to sleep in the chair, knowing he wouldn't be able to get a wink if he tried hard enough to prevent it. But of course you disapproved, practically shoving him to the bed and instructing him to stay like a dog. It was cute seeing you care so much, his heart melting at the fact you didn't even flinch at the idea to lay next to him and his demon partner.

He could feel the heat radiating off your body, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers through the strands of your hair. He found himself getting lost in the thought of the texture, wondering if the strands were soft and silky or rough. The slithers of skin that your evening outfit gave off were enough to get the blood pumping southwards. He felt like a teenage boy laying here; begging for a touch at the first chance he shares a bed. Lucanis continued to watch you, the way your features are relaxed in your sleep; your chest slowly rising with each breath. He wondered if your calmness was because of his own presence, if you felt the same way as he did. If he tainted your dreams like you do with the few he got to experience.

He wanted to fight it, the need to be closer; the feeling of his eyelids getting heavier with each breath. He could just pump himself with coffee in the morning like normal but maybe spite would be quiet just this once. Allow him to relax and finally catch up on the much needed sleep to chase away his constant headache. He didn't get to choose as he finally succumbed to the darkness, falling into a pit of deep sleep...thankful no horrors of the past year to plague his mind.

When you awoke you struggled to move, there was something pinning you to the mattress. Your arm is outstretched to feel for the man beside you only to find him laying on your chest. His arms tucked tightly around your waist hugging you like you escape his grasp, turn to dust. His breathing was even, his hair messy and falling over his eyes instead of in its usual pushed back style. You could feel his breath against the skin of your chest, the puffs of air leaving goosebumps against your skin. You knew you should move, but you didn't want to. It felt nice, grounding to be held like this. So instead of waking up you fell back into your deep slumber, this time you fingers gently playing with the longer strands of hair at the back of his head. Maybe he likes you too but until you knew for certain...his frustratingly slow shows of affections would do for you.

You only prayed the dangers you both had to face would allow you to relish in this moment.

[odinsblog]

Rule No. 1: Believe the autocrat. I argued against the expectation that Trump would change in the months following the election, becoming somehow “Presidential” and abandoning his more extreme positions. This belief, it seemed to me, stemmed from the inability to absorb the fact of a Trump Presidency, and not from any historical precedents of similar transformations. The best predictors of autocrats’ and aspiring autocrats’ behavior are their own public statements, because these statements brought them to power in the first place.

Rule No. 2: Do not be taken in by small signs of normality. Most catastrophes unfold over time. Following the shock of a disastrous election—or a Presidential tweet—the sun rises again in the morning, and life appears to proceed as before. One adjusts, until the next shocking event.

Rule No. 3: Institutions will not save you. During the election campaign, one often heard the argument that institutions of American democracy are strong enough to withstand attack by Trump. A year ago, I pointed out that many of these institutions are not enshrined in law—rather, they exist as norms—and even those that are enshrined in law depend for their continued survival on the good faith of all actors. There is no law, for example, guaranteeing daily press briefings at the White House and media access to these briefings. I predicted that the investigative press would be weakened and that reality would grow murkier.

Rule No. 4: Be outraged. If you follow the first three rules, you ought to be outraged. But I know from experience how hard it is to be the hysteric in the room.

A year on, progress is mixed. Activist groups like New York City’s Rise and Resist, founded by alumni of the aids-activist organization act up, stage regular, vivid, act up–style actions. On the occasion of the first anniversary of the election, they vowed to begin weekly demonstrations demanding impeachment. The A.C.L.U. continues to file lawsuits; late-night comedians continue to amplify the painful absurdity of Trumpism. On the other hand, Washington has absorbed Trump, and so has the Republican Party. (It’s the other party whose national organization is imploding these days.) No single event or revelation has produced enough outrage to cause Trump to be removed from office, nor has one seemed to hurt his chances for reëlection. Not Charlottesville. Not the revelation of a Trump Tower meeting with a Russian lawyer who promised to deliver dirt on Hillary Clinton. Not the regular revelations of past acts of corruption and of current lies. Not the continued spectacle of a government of haters and incompetents. The outrage dissipates, and Trumpism persists.

Rule No. 5: Don’t make compromises. I predicted that Republican Never Trumpers would fold and offer their loyalty to the new President. I also feared that a great many federal employees would face an impossible choice between staying in their jobs under a reprehensible Administration and leaving, forfeiting the chance to do good within a system that had started rotting from the top. Trump’s attacks on the institutions of government have been so fast and brutal, however, that many people made the choice without torment: they left. (Remember the President’s arts and humanities committee? Or the business advisory councils?) Still, a few people remain in what’s left of the State Department; some people have joined the Administration with the explicit goal of using their expertise to help minimize damage. But to watch General McMaster struggling to mislead journalists on Trump’s behalf is to see the built-in problem with the project of minimizing damage: one inevitably becomes an accomplice.

Rule No. 6: Remember the future. There will come a time after Trump. What will we bring to it? I wrote that the failure to imagine the future—to offer a vision in opposition to Trump’s appeal to an imaginary past—had cost the Democrats the election. A year later, the national Democratic Party does not seem closer to proposing a vision (or a candidate); instead, the last week has seen the Party plunged into a vicious re-litigation of the 2016 primaries.

(full article here)

[kurosagi-h8r]

I think it would be fun if darkwick has like a radio committee/club where they would read anonymous messages/letters for the school. Maybe they can invite the students as guest speaker too. I need Ed to be invited only for him to be like joke around and just beating around the bush haha hihi and then he dropped some big scandal/secret for all the school to hear.

How it works is the host will announce who the next guest speaker would be and then people can send anonymous letters, it can be about the guest or anyone, then the guest will have to read the letter there. On a live radio.

Yuri will either rant about darkwick general or openly threat frostheim students and endangering the radio committee.

Jiro will actually be pretty normal and give tips regarding student health. Until he read one anonymous letter with smth like love confession or poetry that's soooo Zenji style and he'd be like "...where did you get this?"

Subaru reading anonymous letters (sent by Leo) to corner him into spilling the beans about himself. Poor guy would struggle in front of the mic.

Can I be biased here? I want Haku to read a bunch of love letters lololol (i would send him tons tbh) JUST TO HEAR HIM oh-so-seductively CHUCKLE EVERY 5 SECONDS LETTER AFTER LETTER until I realize I wasn't the only one because some girl two seats away from me is giggling to herself hearing Haku reading her letter out loud. "Ahaha... so many love letters, are you guys sure it's all for me? All your love??? For a guy like me? I must've been a hero in my past life."

As for Tohma he would either read complaints or blatant complaints from another Frostheimers (i feel like he could tell just from the handwritting alone that the sender is from his house) and after reading the entire content he would go, "Thank you for the heartfelt letter, MR FUJI. I'll be sure to assess myself better but I would need more detailed information on your view regarding my performance as the Vice Captain. Please come to the Vault and be sure to come on time after this radio session. Should you be too busy, I can always interro– I mean interview your closent friend, the honor student. After all I don't mind having her attention all to myself." Or something along the line bcs he'd play dirty like that. (That's so hot of him tho i would at least admit it)

Sho wouldn't really be a guest speaker but if the radio committee needs to make some quick buck they could open a paid promotion and you would hear the committee promoting HTH lol. Like telling the audience about Discount of The Day that you wouldn't know unless you listen to the radio.

Also Haru would probably do the same too! He would want the radio to promote the safari lol.

Ritsu... can the committee even convince him to spare some time in his schedule to be their guest speaker? Would he charge them money? 😭 What if he starts spouting some laws about some legal wrongdoings the radio committee has done (which they didn't even realize) just by making this whole radio thing A THING.

Kinda same with Ritsu, the committee would have to pay Romeo for him to come. I just wish Kaito would send him a letter and everyone would hear Romeo curse tf out of that letter. I think by the end of the session he should put a bounty on Kaito's head. Just because.

What if someone say some bad things about Haru and then Towa IMMEDIATELY storm the studio or zap the radio tower 😭

Mizuki Rui dating advice session? Mizuki Rui dating advice session. Just like Haku he would receive anonymous love letters (or not anonymous. Honestly i would be bold too if it's him). They'd be such a huge confidence booster for him lol and he would give the senders cute nicknames if they're not anonymous.

There has to be messages about the teachers too. Hyde reading anonymous letter in which he could tell Sho was the sender. Students shit-talking about Moby and his weird ass idol obsession (i would be the sender just watch), *cough* students being nosy about the relationship between Benkei and Nicholas *cough* well well MC PLEASE MAKE THIS RADIO A PLACE FOR YOU TO LET YOUR HEART OUT PLEASEEEE YOU SHOULD BE GIVEN A FREEDOM OF SPEECH AT THE VERY LEAST 😭

The rest of them would either not care enough about the radio or become the sender. Leo would prefer to be the sender, i think. Ren would only send anonymous letter when Haru is the speaker to let everyone knows he dislike him and dislike being put in Jabberwock. Zenji will always send his poetry and probably most speakers would find it hard to understand his works, let alone reading them out loud 😭 Zenji himself would love to be the speaker but oh well~ still, it's an opportunity to spread positivity and hopefully he can brighten someone's day with his work.

[disaster-j]

What really pisses me off is people insisting the break-up doesn't make sense as its own thing when it's so clearly in-character for both of them

Buck has been in a serious relationship with a man for six months but hasn't said the word bisexual. We only know that's His Label bc Oliver Stark calls him bisexual outside of the show. Buck has had what seemed to be a perfect fairytale relationship with Tommy bc Tommy made him feel so safe and comfortable and taken care of that he just let everything else about his coming out journey kinda simmer on the back burner.

And, hey, there's nothing wrong with taking your time with that. But considering the scene at dispatch where he still couldn't talk about his sexuality in concrete terms, clearly he hasn't processed it much, if at all. Buck is the guy who dives deep into research at the slightest opportunity, him knowing so little about queerness and queer culture six months into a serious same-sex relationship isn't just out of character but a clear sign that he simply hasn't done any work to explore his sexuality for himself outside of his relationship with Tommy. Whether the writers intended for it read like that or not doesn't matter very much, bc that's exactly what I'm seeing here.

And, again, that alone as a reason to break up with someone is extremely shitty but that's also not what happened.

Tommy clearly has a history of isolating. He's been hurt a lot in the past, we don't need to know the details to know he's a deeply wounded man who spent most of his life guarding his own heart from the world. He told Buck and the audience over and over again, "I look confident. I look sure. I am comfortable. But it took hard work. I wasn't like this before. This is new. This is good but this is scary. I'm working on it I'm working on it I'm working."

He can see that Buck views him as something more, something better, than he thinks he is. Buck loves Tommy, Buck was infatuated with Tommy. Tommy was this perfect guy in Buck's eyes. And that scared Tommy. It intimidated him. But he kept going bc it wasn't a big deal and he could always remind Buck that hey he's just a guy, a guy who had done things wrong for a long time. But Buck never fully grasped it either. Likely bc of how good Tommy made him feel, he struggled to fully grasp that things with Tommy couldn't always be so perfect and good and safe.

They don't talk about that but they keep going bc they like each other bc they're falling in love bc until that six month mark they were both still fairly distracted by how good it felt to be together to really, seriously consider the ramifications of ignoring those not-so-little things they didn't want to face right then.

And then suddenly it's been six months and they're clearly both in love and they're both clearly not ready to be acknowledging that at all. It's been six months and they're just trying to match each other's pace but have never talked about what that pace actually is and then suddenly they're talking about how Tommy used to be engaged to the woman who taught Buck what a real relationship meant and they still aren't even ready to acknowledge they're in love but Buck is already asking to move in together and talking about marriage and they haven't even said i love yous and Buck can't even utter the word bisexual out loud but he wants to jump into living together and fusing their lives together.

But he's not ready for that. As far as Tommy can see he's not ready for that. And if he's asking for something so big when he can't even say the word love then maybe, in Tommy's mind, he'll never truly be able to say it. Maybe they'll keep going like this. Living together and being together but Buck can't face his sexuality as its own thing and Tommy can't face how his trauma affects their relationship and eventually it'll be too much and maybe Buck still wouldn't want to say it and Tommy would push him away like he pushes everyone away and then they'll be right back to that moment, weeks or months or years later, with Buck wanting more but not able to say those words and with Tommy wishing he'd left before it hurt so much.

And sure it hurts to leave now but at least now he's early. Now, Buck hasn't wrapped himself around every piece of his life. Just his heart. At least now he'll hurt but he won't have to move just to get rid of the scent of Evan Buckley perpetually lingering in every corner of his home.

Buck loves Tommy so much he can't imagine a future without him. Tommy loves him so much he can't imagine a future where he gets to keep him.

The break-up makes all the sense in the world. It just doesn't make sense that the break-up wouldn't force them to work on their respective issues and bring them back together stronger in the future.

[guppybibi]

Tattoo artist!Johnny who had already met you a year ago when you made an impulsive decision of getting a tattoo with your current boyfriend's name.

This was nothing new for Johnny having seen this numerous times before, in both men and women, and he knows they'll come crawling back to get them covered up after a nasty breakup. It's been a running game in the shop, all of the workers betting their money on how long it'll take before the customer comes back to cover up the tattoo.

Nothing new, right? Then why was Johnny so surprised when he saw you walk into the shop, the door chimes ringing when you swing the door open to reveal you. Eyes still red and puffy while you sniffled, not doing a very good job on hiding the fact you had been crying. His coworkers shot him a knowing look, recalling the bet from last year.

"Pretty thing, ain't she?" One of Johnny's coworkers commented, looking at the back of your figure as you stepped out of the shop with a huge grin on your face. Probably excited to show the tattoo of your boyfriend's name to him.

"Yeah, too bad she's taken. Lucky man better be treatin' her right." Johnny remarks, noticing the look he was given. "Not for long, I bet. I'm giving them a year max." Johnny blinks once, then again. "Fine, I'm giving them five years." Of course, his coworker was pretty shocked from that. Out of all the people they've bet on, this was probably the longest bet Johnny had ever put.

"Seriously? Don't ya think that's too long?" His coworker asks skeptically, raising a brow at Johnny. "Aye, the gal is lovely. If her boyfriend drops her then that's like committing a war crime." Well, his coworker couldn't really disagree with him on that.

Johnny shoots his coworker a glare that simply said he had more important matters to attend to. Luckily, Johnny was a charmer so cooing a birdie like you into comfort shouldn't be that hard, right?

I mean, it's a break up, not exactly the end of the world here. Plus, you're a gorgeous gal, plenty of fish out there you could probably catch in less than an hour.

"Morning, lass! Welcome back, I see that you've got a little problem, huh?" He points out, seeing you nod subtly. "Alright, I'm assuming it's a cover up for the tattoo you got done a year ago?"

He clearly wasn't surprised when you nodded, having seen this too many times before. He wrote down some stuff, not caring about the paperwork much..before leading you further into the parlor.

The two of you discussed how you wanted the previous tattoo to get covered up, Johnny nudging in to suggest some stylistic choices a few times, which you gladly didn't mind.

Then began the process once you agreed with the design choice, you wanted to get this over with. To remove a past mistake from your life.

Johnny cleansed your skin, disinfecting it with a cold gel. He could see you squirming and struggling not to make a sound. He also does notice another tattoo covered up above your previous tattoo, curiosity swirling around in his mind now.

He tried hushing it, it wasn't any of his business. He's here to do his job, nothing else.

He was quiet for most of the process, aside from some rather awkward small talk about the weather and a few details of what happened between you and your boyfriend. Not that it helped, it really just made Johnny even more curious.

And finally, after who knows how long, the tattoo was covered up now! You seemed to have gotten rid of the nerves from earlier, looking a lot more calmer now.

"Alright, lass. I'm sure y'know how the caring process goes so I'll leave it up to ye." He said, cleaning up all his materials in a snap. He gives in to his curiosity, finding the courage in him to ask you about the other covered up tattoo.

"Uh..before you go lass, mind if I ask ye somethin'? It's about the other tattoo you got 'ere.." You immediately knew which one he was referring to, face reddening in embarrassment as you recalled the immature decision..

"Aah..sure, go ahead." You replied awkwardly, a sheepish smile gracing your face. "Thanks, lass. Mind if ye tell me what was written on there? I- I just noticed that the way it was covered up. The artist did a great job, I'm jealous."

Yeah okay he was just making excuses to get things flowing..never mind that.

"Oo..oh! I don't mind at all, don't worry. That's all in the past..can't really reverse it, you know? It was my ex-boyfriend's name." You answer, shrugging it off. Seems like you were the type of gal to move on from a relationship quick.

"I see, glad you were willing to share that. I wonder if I know who he is." He chuckles, evidently not expecting you to actually tell him who it was. Sure, Johnny was the type to encourage people to loosen up and get comfortable. But..maybe not to this extent.

"His name was Simon, Simon Riley—" And practically everything you said after that was unheard of.

Looks like Johnny needs to pay Simon a visit at the pub tonight.

[revelboo]

I literally can't get enough of your writing like I need it like oxygen at this point 🙌 I am not above begging for more of Everything is alright or Over it now

My heart is literally hurting for Star because he genuinely didn't know, and he finally is starting to be vulnerable, and now he knows it's not going to last no matter what. And the inner turmoil of the reader being so torn between him and Soundwave? Wanting both but not being able to hurt Star after he put everything at risk?? It's so good but it hurts my heart 😭😭

And Jazz finally getting someone who would listen to his feelings and get to know the real him under all his masks?? The poor guy needs that so bad, and he's finally opening up (even if she can't understand what he's saying)

All in all, your writing is amazing, and you are literally amazing ✨️✨️✨️

Thank you! I have a lot of fun overthinking why the characters act the way they do and trying to get into their heads

Over It Now Pt 11

IDW Jazz x Reader

• “You could just let me take you,” he says as he watches you lock the door and do an awkward shuffle to put the keys away while trying to not drop one of your crutches in the process. Leaving him for work again. Wanting to help, but also knowing exactly how stubborn you are as you eye the stairs off your porch. He’d also figured out forgiveness was much easier to ask for than permission, reaching to lift you in his servos and carefully set you down in the driveway crutches and all bypassing the steps and then backing up to fall forward into his alt mode.

• Heart racing at being picked up unexpectedly, you warm watching his antics. Because he knows you struggle with the steps and he’d saved you from dealing with them when he didn’t have to. “We both know you have better things to do than chauffeur me around,” you say, trying not to laugh when he opens the driver’s side door and wags it back and forth in invitation.

• “Come for a ride, doll. I’ll behave.” Door still open, he fully expects you to walk past him to your own ugly car, so it’s a surprise when you slide in the driver’s seat and awkwardly lean the crutches in the passenger side. And then you’re right there and he’s more aware of you this way somehow than when he’s held you in his servos. You’re warm against him, soft hands brushing the steering wheel hesitantly as if not sure if it’s okay and he can smell your soap, your shampoo, you. “Alright,” he murmurs more to himself than to you, because it’s a small thing, but you’re entrusting yourself to him. And that means so much.

• There’s no way to not overthink that you’re sitting inside Jazz and it’s weird. You end up folding your hands in your lap so you don’t touch anything you shouldn’t. Inhaling as the shifter moves on its own and then the wheel spins as he reverses. “Doll, you’re going to have to at least pretend to drive,” he laughs and he’s right. Other drivers might notice you’re just sitting there so you just barely touch your palms to the wheel, letting it move freely against your skin.

• Primus, you’re precious. Eyes darting all over his interior, trying so hard not to touch anything. “What do you do normally? I mean a phantom car driving itself has to freak people out,” you mumble, shifting against him as he turns onto the road, wheels humming. Liking the feel of having you there, surrounded by him and safe, it takes a moment to actually understand your question. It’s not nearly the same as holding you in his hands, but still comforting to him that you’re there with him. It doesn’t take a lot of energy, but he does have to concentrate to create a holomatter avatar in the passenger side seat to show you what he normally does, not bothering to make it solid at all since your crutches are embedded in the avatar’s legs and torso and your head turns as it appears. He’s not sure what he expected, but it’s definitely not for you to scream and throw yourself against the inside of his door.

• “It’s me. It’s an avatar,” the glitchy thing in the passenger seat is saying in Jazz’s voice, holding up big hands as you nearly have a heart attack. “Doll, it’s okay. Sorry, I just-frag.” And the human shaped thing flickers and fades, leaving your heart hammering against your ribs. You’re still plastered to the door, hands curled into fists. “Were you going to punch me?” Yes. You absolutely were, because it had just been there so suddenly, a fixed grin on a fake looking face that was staring right at you, Eyes closing you lean your forehead against the cool glass of the driver’s side window and try to calm down and instead start laughing. Covering your face with your hands as he vents at you in exasperation, blowing warm air across your skin and you realize he’s never asked where you work, an address or anything. So how does he know where to take you? Has he been following you?

Previous

[louisferrignojr]

i don't know if i have the energy to write this into a full fic but i want to write something from tommy's pov and i got this idea that could work as a prequel to the fix it fic i already wrote but basically

chimney shows up at his house with a six pack and tommy opens the door and wordlessly steps aside to let him in

of course chimney is there because he heard about the break up and he wants to offer tommy a shoulder to cry on because he knows tommy is hurting just as much as buck is, and buck has his sister and his best friend and his makeshift father figure, but tommy doesn't really have any close friends; a lot of surface-level friendships with the people he hangs out with, and he's good with his coworkers but harbor station isn't like the 118. he also knows it's only been a few days and the wound is still so fresh, and when tommy doesn't show signs of opening up, chimney does.

he wasn't going to share the news of the pregnancy, they aren't telling people yet because it's too soon, and he didn't think it was a good time to flaunt his joy so to speak, but it works as a segue to a conversation about his relationship with maddie, everything they've been through - tommy doesn't know the half of it, because while they've seen each other a lot more often in the past six months, they haven't had a chance to hang out one-on-one and dig deep. he tells tommy about all of it, from the beginning, how they met and how they started dating, the first surprise pregnancy, the separation, the engagement, all of it. and everything he's learned these past few years, all the ways he's grown as a person since tommy's transfer.

and he tells tommy about the buckleys of it all, how maddie is the one who runs and buck is the one who gets left behind. he sees the way tommy's expression shifts when he hears that, and he says, "yeah, you fucked up big time, buddy." because it's the truth, and because tommy hurt his brother, after all, and chimney's always going to have his back.

and finally tommy cracks and admits how much he's been struggling, second guessing himself, part of him knowing it was self-sabotage and part of him justifying the decision with all the logical reasons it was the right thing to do, but he never thought about how it would have affected evan, and now he's beating himself up over it, because he'd been selfish and impulsive and cowardly, and he wishes he could have stayed and talked it through instead of running.

in the end chimney tells him it's not too late, and he deserves a second chance, and he bets anything buck is willing to give him that. tommy replays their conversation in his mind the next day as he's driving to evan's loft to pick up his things. end scene.

[fiona-fififi]

You know, the more I think about it, the more I do actually think a storyline about Buck fucking around (or at least dating around) would be interesting. Like, my first instinct was that it would be bad for Buck, specifically, because he's always used sex in unhealthy ways and because I really do think he's seeking a permanent kind of love.

But, you know, that's not working for him right now. He's spent 8 years entering what he hopes to be long-term, forever kinds of relationships and they just keep falling through. Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia, Tommy. Five failed relationships, all of which he clung to beyond their expiration date (well, all except Ali, I guess). That's a lot for him to just want to try to jump in with another person he doesn't know and try to make it work, and he has just discovered this new part of his identity—which, of course, for some people, they wouldn't need to explore—but I do think it's something a single, unattached Buck would want to explore.

And I don't even necessarily think this would have to be a backslide. But if it was, that would be okay, too, because healing isn't linear and people fuck up and do things that aren't good for them all the time, and Buck feeling hopeless and going back to his old ways because what he really wants isn't working, makes a lot of sense to me. I will admit, my first instinct was that I didn't want him to backslide, but actually, I do think there would be an interesting story to tell there, and it might even sell the way his character has stagnated in the same boring, unfulfilling relationships over and over again by calling attention to it and recognizing that Buck is feeling it, too—not just that the particular most recent relationship has failed, but that he's feeling like he's not worthy, can't make things work, isn't meant to be loved because it keeps happening. Which I don't think they've ever explored in depth before.

So having Buck backslide, or even just take a step back and decide he wants to have some casual sex for a bit while he tries to figure himself out (and by that, I do not mean his sexuality, but rather what he needs to make him happy), then I think there actually could be a really interesting story to be told there that would be both very true to the character and would serve to break this broken record of storylines for him (because yeah, it's been done before, but at least not since s1, really).

And honestly, I'm not sure where else they would go with Buck right now. This does actually feel like a logical progression for him, and I can't think of anything else they could do with him unless they decide to speedrun buddie and/or intertwine him fully with the Eddie and Chris plot (which I could see happening, and I also think could work). But beyond that, I don't see an obvious logical story progression for Buck at this moment, and I would rather see him backslide a bit with this than have them slap some completely random new plotline on him without warning, because we've all seen how poorly those have been handled lately.

And as an aside, I could also see a Buck backslide potentially causing some of the tension they're talking about for Buck and Eddie. Because Eddie's never directly known that part of Buck, and last season, he was ensuring Buck that he'd seen the growth in him and trusted him to talk to Christopher because of his past and his growth beyond it. And I could see Eddie struggling a bit with a side of Buck he's never actually encountered before, and maybe (if it is a legitimate backslide for him, and he's using casual sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism) with a part of Buck he doesn't know how to help.

[maybefae]

Week Ahead: 11/11-11/17/2024

Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3

Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.

Tips!

Pile 1

Tarot: The Hanged Man (Sacrifice), The Star (The Veil), Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, The Fool (Death), Three of Cups, The Hermit (The Cosmic Tree), Strength (The Orbs)

Oracle: The Pathless, The Priest

Hello, my loves. Has the past week been a little tiring? Overwhelming? This week probably won’t be as crazy but there is a feeling of numbness. Maybe just lost. It feels as if you are just floating through time and space at the moment because of uncertainty towards the future. You’ve been thrust into a whole new chapter without any preparation and without any knowledge of it happening. And now, it feels like you have to sacrifice the past in someway, or it was sacrificed for you. You were grabbed by the arms and yanked away from the past. 

I believe that your only symbol of hope at the moment are your friends. The ones closest to you or at least a community. They are the only ones grounding you to reality. 

If you need to stay to yourself, enter hermit mode, for a little but until there’s a little clarity, it’s okay to do so. Just don’t let yourself be a hermit forever because that will cause more isolation and a feeling of being lost than you already have. 

You’re working very hard and I think you can only trust yourself with that at the moment. Maybe it’s for a distraction for a little bit, maybe it’s for future comfort. But you’re persevering. You’re being very strong despite the uncertainty. And maybe this is just what you have to do right now to navigate a lack of direction. Follow your instincts because they will never lead you astray. I think you’re doing the right thing at the moment, if you needed that comfort. 

Take things slow, one step at a time. And divulge in something you love to do. Self-care in any form will be good.

Pile 2

Tarot: Page of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Ten of Cups, Six of Cups, Page of Wands, Four of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, Six of Swords, Eight of Pentacles 

Oracle: The Champion, The Adventurer, The Spymaster

Before I pulled any cards, I heard, “It’s gonna be okay.” It was in a very warm and comforting female voice. It’s like a mother, in her purest form, comforting you. 

There is a lot of messages happening at once but I was being very organized when getting the cards out. I heard “keep your cards close” and “ducks in a row.” There could be a level of secrecy with something you’re organizing. And I think you are organizing this project with others/friends.

Now I heard, “loudmouth.” You’re being vocal about something and it feels like you feel an obligation to lead something. And this could be revolving around taking care of others in a time of need. I’m getting the sense of building a strong foundation and community. A safe haven. This could be people with a like-mindedness to you. I’m getting a vision of Woodstock ‘69 where people were taking care of each other and there was a kitchen where people from outside brought food to help when things got a little dire at the festival. You could be the one at the beginning saying it’s gonna be okay.

Back to the project you’re organizing. You could be getting a bunch of friends together so you all can live under one roof, save money. I don’t know there’s a big focus on help and community and minimizing a struggle here. You’re working really hard at it and trying anything you can to make things work. 

Pile 3

Tarot: Ace of Swords, Six of Wands, Two of Pentacles, Five of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, Four of Wands (reversed), King of Swords(back of deck)

Oracle: The Wise One, The Sentinel, The Assassin

I just want to say that your pile confused me the most. I also Wanna say that you are gonna be going at something really aggressively and quickly. The deck kept digging into my fingers, pinching me, and the cards would shoot out and hit something on my desk to the point of making a noise.

I had to pull for cards twice but the King of Swords remained here.

You could be going after something very passionately/aggressively. But I think it’s out of pure desperation and greed. Maybe even jealousy and pride. 

Now, I don’t like doing general love readings but I do get a sense that this could be a person. And I don’t think it's out of pure intentions. This feels like someone you just wanna lay claim over so no one else can have them. There is very prideful and jealous energy. This endeavour will be fruitless. The person you want does not have the same feelings for you and may honestly see you as a “mean girl/person.” Or maybe you were just very certain they had feelings for you and you gained a lot of courage to say something only to be let down.

For those of you who actually like this person and have just been working the courage up to say something, I think it’s more of a teaching in courage. I think you will have success when it comes to your confidence because you had the courage to say something. This person probably won’t have the same feelings but they do recognize your courage and respect you for that. They won’t be mean about turning your advances down, they will be respectful and nice. But there won’t be anything that comes to fruition between the both of you.

Decks Used: White Numen Tarot: A Sacred Animal Tarot Deck by AlbaBG, Cosma Visions Oracle by James R. Eads, Ophida Rosa Tarot by Leila and Olive, The Citadel: A Fantasy Oracle by Fez Inkwright Dividers: @inklore

[mono-dot-jpeg]

your strongest potions, shopkeeper! - blue lock

summary; in which you (the reader, not y/n) learn of the tales of rafta

genre/extra tags; scenarios?, heavily inspired by potionomics (great game), characters as potionomics characters, fluff, comedy, modern fantasy au (technically), lots of potionomics references and fantasy talk, y/n a little stupid but it's fine.

a/n; hi, i've been playing potionomics nonstop lately and it's been on my mind and I already miss my silly baptiste. he's so babygirl. and naturally, why not smush my current interests together now since I got the idea in my mind already. i wont be discussing all the characters in the game and matching them with bllk boys unfortunately as im having a hard time wondering who would be who. tbh, a lot of them could probably apply to one character KHDJDKDJ

the ingredient merchant is a teasing one. he's dry, calculating, and more than willing to add fuel to a fire during a heated conversation. but he would never do that with you. but he does live to tease you with his dry remarks and his smug grin. but he's the one who helps supply your potion ingredients, though. you don’t really know how... but you decide not to question it.

karasu tabito is a clairvoyant. he has his large all-seeing orb, which he's told you that it's how he finds all his connections to get all these ingredients. and then he's got his little chest mimic. maybe not that little.. it's bigger than a chair. and he can sit on it like a large ottoman.

he's kind of mysterious despite being one of your first friends you've made in rafta. he doesn't talk a lot of his past, and he appreciates that you don't press hard about it.

he's probably been by your side since the start, watching your growth to defeat the competition in the potion-making industry.

you fell for him first, but he totally fell harder.

"you know i've been getting a lot of visions of a person lately. from my orb." he started. "i see your...stupid face in them." he looks away from you, the large brim of his warlock hat covering the subtle blush on his cheeks. he curls in on himself slightly, resting against his floating all-seeing orb. "you.. see me? wait, does that mean i'm gonna die soon?!" you panic, flinching back at the possible implications of him seeing you in his visions. "god, you're such an idiot. i mean, yeah, we all die someday, but this.. is different. it means.. that i like you." he grumbled. "so, what are you gonna do about it?" "hm.. can i kiss you then?"

the guild master is a man of the people... despite being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. he means well. he strives to make the blue lock guild thrive! he wants to support the amazing adventurers who supply and give their recent monster loot to the potion makers who keep them alive with their adventure commissions. but it's been hard for him, really. he's been so disconnected from the normal life that he doesn't understand low class or middle-class struggles as well as most would.

mikage reo is a man who wishes to experience what most people already have. he's sick of the cushy rich life of having everything (though his mother still sends him a care package of out-of-your-budget hair care). he's a sight for sore eyes, catching plenty of attention from anyone and everyone. he's a gentleman whilst being a little.. passionate (is passionate the right word?) about his experiences and his goal to improve the guild to its rightful peak. he's also the announcer for the potion contests in rafta! he's never biased in those. i promise. (/gen)

like how he's watched you grow to be a masterwork potion maker, you've watched slowly shed free of his insecurities of the past and worrying over not being a great guild master.

he's sweet, a little eccentric, and more than an open book than he realizes. he's loyal to his goal even if the seasoned adventurers give him side eye about his past and lack of proper qualifications to handle a guild.

you fell for each other just as hard as the other.

"lately, i've been going through quite a lot as i learn how to navigate this new life. it's been stormy skies and rough seas..." he said with a sad smile, but it turns into something more softer and happier, "but you've been there for me and had so much faith in my plans." "some days i want nothing more than to go back to luxury. to relax and be free from work." he said with an annoyed frown. "luxury and riches are nice." you nodded. "but you helped me and showed me things i have never experienced." he smiled brightly. "and for that, i found myself falling for you." he pulls out a bright red rose, handing it to you. "do you want to hear the love my heart has to offer to you?" you gently take the rose with your fingertips, "i already hear it loud and clear."

the excitable new hero that was part of the guild was a fun one! he was a hero enthusiast, wanting to become a hero himself because of it. and he made it all the way to rafta! and now he helps gather new ingredients for you, ready for any dangerous adventure. he's absolutely an excited puppy. he loves doing anything as long as it was adventurous! sometimes if he was feeling really crazy, he would try the flavor of the day in the local ice cream parlor. (he cried the day he got his least favorite flavor, mozuku)

he's been kind of hung up on wanting a trophy or large weapon. so many heroes had them, so he should get one! he has to be a great hero after all! but in your eyes, he was already rather great at what he did. he's swifter than a bee and stung like one too. he seemed to have this innate talent for fighting and being adventurous. he just didn't seem to believe it when he was surrounded by hero legends or higher ranked heroes.

he's been your most supportive customer, often visited for plenty of potions or maybe a quick large order. sometimes he gives you a discount for his commissioned work out on the field.

you didn't fall for him at least, but boy, did he fall for you hard.

"it's silly, wanting to have a trophy or weapon to show off for your success." he said softly. "but i really did want one. i wanted to show that i was a great hero, you know?" he laughed sheepishly. "you might not have found one, but you really did prove yourself along the way. you're pretty high ranked, aren't you?" "yeah, it just feels weird to not have anything to show for it.." he smiled wistfully before it melts into a softer grin. "but hearing you say that i proved myself, it makes me feel so much better!" he groaned childishly, "but still! believing in yourself is hard." "well, it's easy for me to believe in you. it's probably the easiest thing i could do." he goes quiet, looking at you with adoration before blurting out, "can i kiss you?"

the succubus currently living in your literal hell of a basement is certainly a character. you had beat him in the potion-making competition and he outed himself as a demon. which wasn't much of a shocker to you, considering his less than savory scams he did with his potions. but even so, he was considerably skilled in charms and illusions more than potions. he just needed some cash.

but now that he's lost, he had found solace in your unfinished cave basement.. that had a whole river of lava running through?! you curse your uncle ego for having such an odd home that's left for you to handle. so, you unwillingly take in the damn demon before he runs amok ruining other poor souls. he's charming. you'll give him that much. he often sells you illusions and charms that would help your potions sell better. and he even gives you some pointers on how to charm the customers into letting their guard down for a great profit. he's been looking for a place to belong in a while, and your home seems to fit that bill as much as he hates to admit. he's rowdy, flirty, invasive, most things that you don't really want to have around (especially since he unsealed the magic barrier that was keeping you safe from the heat of the lava).

but overtime, you seem to find yourself liking the odd presence of him. or maybe he had unintentionally put a charm on you. you may never know.

you fell first, he fell right after.

"you know i really saw you as a threat to my business and all." he said. "it really wasn't love at first sight." he laughed. "but you're still you, even after all your big decisions to change. still the same wrecking ball that crashed into my shop and right into my basement." "i was petty about a lot of things for a long time. many many years probably. when my own home got destroyed. i was just surviving to the next day." he said, frowning slightly. "but i changed. i changed to find my way to you." "now, you're thriving." "i really am thriving. and now, whatever i decide to do with my life. i want you by my side." "i want that too." "then show me, dear."

[tomorrowxtogether]

SOOBIN: “I thought I should just try to shine as I am.”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview

2024.11.11

He once strived to become a lush, towering forest. But he realized that people will love him for exactly what he is—a deep, rolling ocean. And so, he decided to remain as whom he always has been: an ocean named SOOBIN.

You took a trip to Vietnam earlier this year with BEOMGYU. I heard you planned the whole thing. SOOBIN: I’m usually the kind of person who just goes around without a real plan, but since we don’t get much vacation time, I figured we’d better go all out and do everything we could in one go, so I tried planning it all out. (laughs) BEOMGYU just wanted to go with the flow, but there was a ton of stuff I wanted to do.

I’m sure it’s not easy taking a trip or spending your off time with the same people you spend all your time with. SOOBIN: I hang out a lot with the rest of the group on my own time too, though. Three of us were all hanging out together just yesterday. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t feel like anything special since we’re always together 365 days a year, but I’m also most comfortable around them for the same reason.

Sometimes people start bickering with each other when they get too comfortable with one another, but you’re always so kind—like how you gifted BEOMGYU with a nap in that “The Perfect Way to Rest” video when you remembered he was feeling tired. SOOBIN: I think I’m good at picking up on things. I don’t know if I can do it with everyone, but at least with the other members of the group, I’m pretty good at telling how they’re feeling or if they’re not feeling well. As soon as I see one of them, I can tell, Oh, he looks a little rough today, or, He’s sure in a good mood today. (laughs) If they seem down, I go over to them to find out what’s wrong and talk it over.

Your kindness also comes across when you’re with animals, like in the “OUR TOMORROW” video, where you took care of one dog who was so nervous that it didn’t get a chance to eat any treats. Have you always been drawn to people and creatures that are small and left out? SOOBIN: So, so much. In fact, I was really shy and struggled to fit in when I was a trainee. I was really lonely at first. So when time passed and I finally got accustomed to things, if I saw another trainee who was shy and couldn’t adjust, I felt like looking out for them. Kai was among them. (laughs) That’s how I ended up becoming really close with him.

You talked about the cat your sister adopted recently, explaining how it used to be shy because it had a hard life in the past but that it finally opened up this year. SOOBIN: I went to see the cat when my sister first got it, but I couldn’t even see it that first time—it just hid under the couch. It was so shy that I thought I’d never get to pet it, but the last time I saw it, it came right up to me and started purring, wanting to be petted. It was able to overcome its painful past and open up to my family thanks to all the love they show looking after it. Love really does have the power to change anything. (laughs)

You also said on weverse LIVE recently that you made a new friend who you can talk about dramas, movies, and books with. SOOBIN: For me, dramas and movies don’t end with watching them—after you’re done watching, that’s when things are just getting started. I always look up reviews and analyses online. People can watch the same thing and they’ll all have their own thoughts on it, so I’m curious about all those different views, and now I have someone to talk about that with. They know a lot more about books and movies than I do, so I end up learning a lot when we’re sharing our thoughts together. Just having a friend to share my interests with is really fun.

You mentioned talking about Inside Out 2, and you looked at how it features a place to store things you’ve heard that you want to keep for a long time, which got you thinking about what sort of things you would want to hold onto. SOOBIN: I kept recalling things my friends say after we hang out—things like, “SOOBIN, I’m so happy we’re friends,” and, “I feel great whenever I’m with you.” Hearing things like that really touches my heart. Seriously, how often do you get to hear things like that in life? I used to find expressing things like that awkward and weird, but thanks to my friends, I’m getting used to saying I love and appreciate people. You empathized with how Anxiety works harder and feels more anxious than others because they want to be good at things. Are there things you feel you should work harder at than other people? SOOBIN: I’m actually slower at learning choreography compared to the other members. I assumed I’d get a lot better after debuting and regularly performing onstage, but progress was slower than I expected. I didn’t say anything about this before, and I even kept it a secret from the other members, but I actually got separate choreo lessons on the side when we were doing “Chasing That Feeling” and “Deja Vu.” We’d take lessons as a group, and then once I was alone I’d always spend about an hour dancing and working on the little details. I tried so hard with those two most recent songs that I even practiced on my own like that. Seeing as I’m slow, I have to work harder to keep up with the other members. If I have more time, I want to practice more for this comeback, too.

With all the touring you’ve done and the encore performances you have coming up, it must’ve been really hectic getting ready for your Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback. SOOBIN: The schedule was really tight this time around—we even had to record vocals in Japan in the middle of the tour since we were in and out of the country—but now that we’re in our sixth year, the five of us were all really fast about things. I could sense that we had grown compared to before since we were faster at recording than we could’ve expected to be in the past and it took us less time to work out the details of the choreography.

The album’s subtitle, SANCTUARY, is a word that’s appeared in TOMORROW X TOGETHER albums before. What’s been your sanctuary these days? SOOBIN: I never used to have a sanctuary, which made getting through tough times hard, but I do now: simple things like working out or reading. It feels like the things that break me away from overthinking and let me immerse myself in something else are my sanctuary.

You were complimented on your previous promotions for your improved vocals and high notes. What about on this album? SOOBIN: Actually, every other album we’ve done had a song in a genre I wasn’t confident in, but not this time. The single “Over The Moon” is really laid-back, and I felt like it was perfect timing for us to try out a song like that. What’s unfortunate is that I caught this horrendous cold during recording. We started practicing for live performances recently, and the director said, “SOOBIN’s singing better than he did when recording. He makes it sound effortless.” So I couldn’t help but think about how much better I could’ve done if only my throat had been in better shape.

You always focus a lot on lyrics. Were there any on this album that have stuck with you in particular? SOOBIN: This album isn’t so much about telling some big, sweeping story as it is about everything we’ve been through together. Now that we’ve been through all that chaos, it’s about the universal emotion of love, which everyone can relate to, and I liked that about it. There’s a line in “Higher Than Heaven” that sticks with me that goes, “I think I kinda get what forever means now.” I even once said, “I never used to believe in the word ‘forever,’ but I think I can now, thanks to our fans.” I didn’t write that part, but it’s like it was written to perfectly capture my feelings.

The other members have probably had an impact on your belief in the word “forever,” too. SOOBIN: I’m pretty sure we’re going to grow old together and that we’ll be together till the day I die. We do the same thing and basically live the same life day in and day out, so we know what makes each other cry the most during concerts, too. Whether it’s my tears of happiness or BEOMGYU’s tears of disappointment from a leg injury, having friends to understand and share those feelings with is nice. They’re all just really kind people—calm and clear, like a stream. None of us is domineering or splashing around, disturbing the peace, and nobody’s dirtying the water, so I think we’ll be able to stick together for a long, long time.

You said before that you had found being onstage tough while touring. Now that you’ve already wrapped up your third world tour, do you still find that to be the case? SOOBIN: I think I’m getting better over time. I still can’t say that I completely enjoy myself, but the worries I used to have before going onstage have gone away entirely. There used to be times where I found it hard to watch myself onstage because I didn’t like how I looked, but now I see myself up there and I think I look cool. (laughs)

The way you have a different outfit on for every sound check when you’re on tour is definitely cool. SOOBIN: For fans who come even though they’re busy, showing up hours before the concert just to wait, doing it purely out of love, I wanted to be more stylish, so I bought a lot of clothes just for sound checks. The glasses-plus-cardigan combo was something I bought in advance for summer, and the reaction from the audience was amazing! They showed me on the big screen and MOA was screaming their lungs out—like, not the usual “wow,” but, “aah!” Like shock and awe. (laughs) I was worried I went overboard with the look, but they showed they liked it, so I was happy.

There’s no way not to bring up your cover of the Choi Yu Ree song “Forest” when talking about you. You said that the people around you are like tall trees in a forest and that you thought you’re one of them, but that you figured out you’re actually more like the ocean. SOOBIN: It’s easy to find people around me who are better looking and sing and dance better than I do. I actually started thinking about that at Lollapalooza. The other members looked so happy and like they were having so much fun onstage, but I couldn’t. I felt eaten up inside seeing myself not being able to fully enjoy it because of all the pressure. Then I heard Choi Yu Ree explaining that “Forest” is about feeling like you’re not good enough and I thought, “Ah, so that’s what I’ve been going through.” I started to understand my emotions a little bit better. Everyone ends up comparing themselves to others at some point in their lives—it’s unavoidable. And they have times where all they can see are the things they hate about themselves, but it’s ridiculous. I was overflowing with negative feelings when I was working on my “Forest” cover, and I wanted to sort of deal with those feelings and express them.

The music video echoes your thoughts that someday you’ll come to shore and become one with the forest. What does the forest mean to you? SOOBIN: Just being a singer who’s good at singing and dancing, interacting with my fans, enjoying performing, and being able to do it all with complete sincerity. I think I was showing how the forest to me means being happy with the other members when they’re happy. Nothing big—just simple things I’m not always that good at.

Do you feel more like a forest now that some time has gone by? SOOBIN: Umm … I saw a ton of comments from fans after I covered “Forest.” My mindset when I was doing it was, Right now I’m like the ocean, but I’ll become a part of the forest just like you guys—so wait for me until then. But once I saw what fans were writing, I changed my mind and thought, Do I really need to become a part of the forest? I could be similar to the forest, but I don’t have to change myself to be one. My fans kept saying, “The whole reason we liked you in the first place is because you’re like the ocean, not because we hoped you’d become like a forest. If that were the case, we’d like somebody else. Why do you think it was you?” The ocean comes with its own perks, you know. You need to have some ocean near a forest to add to the scenery and have more things to do. Now I think maybe I tried too hard to fit in by trying to be like the forest. Now I feel like I can shine bright just by being myself.

That lines up with what you recently said in an interview you did in Japan when you said that your 20s, the best and most energetic time of life, are dazzling and fun thanks to knowing MOA. What do you think you’ll see when you look back on this youthful period of your 20s? SOOBIN: Joy. Every moment of our lives is packed with good times and bad times, joy and sorrow, but in the end, I think, I’m on a path towards joy. Even things that are so agonizing that you want to die—so bad you feel like the whole world is against you, and so bad you’re certain they’re weighing on you forever, eventually pass.

Doesn’t it almost feel funny sometimes, looking back after all that? (laughs) SOOBIN: Yes. It ends up feeling so trivial somehow. Things that felt massive at the time are like a speck in the distance once you get even a little space between them and yourself. Even after all the hardship I went through being a trainee, I can look back now and see there were a lot of good times. Maybe we tend to romanticize the past a bit? (laughs) Even some of the stuff I’m going through now can be tough, to be honest, but I’m never going to give up. There’s still so much I want to give. The amount of joy I derive from doing this is way higher than the amount of difficulty. I think my life’s amazing, even right now.

So amazing. (laughs) SOOBIN: I think so too! (laughs) As time goes on and I get older, when I look back on my youth, my time with TOMORROW X TOGETHER, I wonder if it’ll look that much more shiny and amazing. Maybe I’ll feel I was even cooler at this time than I feel I am now.

[nyxlarkyn]

Let's Focus on Loris the Shield Man Real Quick:

Much like how Isha is there to reflect Jinx's inner child and Sevika fills in the sisterly/motherly role Jinx is so desperate for, this man will fit into the role of Vander to Vi.

Loris is meant to be there during Vi's darkest moment (like how Vander took the girls in) and help guide Vi down the right path. He disapproves of Caitlyn's raise to Dictatorship because he aligns himself with the good of all people. Something Jinx will soon symbolize to the people of Zaun. We see his alignment foreshadowed through the blue bead he wears in his hair, similar to Ekko's hair bead of a Jinx bomb later in the season; this is further pushed when Loris is covered in blue paint in ep.3.

The only thing we hear him say in all 3 episodes, the only thing is "I like peanuts" in response to Vi's negative rant about the events at the end of s1 and what just transpired with Caitlyn earlier in the episode. The only thing we hear him say, is something positive out of all that negativity. He's meant to bring some light in Vi's darkness.

He symbolizes the shield Vander failed to give the girls. Both him and Vander find Vi while they're struggling. Vander - the aftermath of a war and Vi losing her parents. Loris - the aftermath of Jinx's attack and both having fallen down a drinking spiral. He will help guide a hurting, lost Vi into the person she's been trying to be since she was a kid.

Junior Officer Maddie Nolan plays a major hand in this as well. She fits into the role of a younger VI, at least the aspirations and hopes she once held towards the future.

The show gives us a really good shot of Vi watching Loris give Maddie a comforting hand after they come up on Jinx's doll trap in the airducts. They look almost like father and daughter, like Vander and Vi... Maddie is by no means a young Vi the way Isha is almost a clone of Powder, but she holds this naive optimism for the future that helps inspire Vi to open up about joining the enforcers. Not just from what Cait had to say about her, but what Maddie said about Vi's actions and how she is viewed amongst the younger officers. This is another call back to her past when Vander tells Vi how her siblings Powder, Clagger, and Mylo look up to her and follow her. She becomes in a way Vi's two brothers story wise.

-Earlier I said Loris will be the shield Vander failed to give the girls. That's not an accurate statement, Vander tried his best to make sure his kids would be protected. He pushed for peace at every hand choosing to use his fist when all other options have been exhausted. At the end of the day his weapon is a brutal offense, Vi has never seen a true defensive weapon that protects. She only knows how to protect through means of force. Loris' treatment of Vi and her struggles will teach her how to be a proper shield for others and how she wants to protect her loved ones.

[kinghijinx22]

Why Silent Hill 3 is my big favorite- a terrifying horror game about woman's experiences and the fears that come from existing as a woman in a patriarchal society

Silent Hill 3 is probably my favorite Silent Hill game and one of my favorite games of all time, and it has a story and themes that I've always really vibed with. It tells a remarkably progressive story for it's time that handles some intense themes that are still relevant even today, about experiences that a lot of woman go through and the fears that come from existing as a woman in a patriarchal society, what it's like having your own agency and bodily autonomy taken away from you, forced pregnancy and sexual assault, how harmful patriarchal societies are and this game really getting into the religious flavor of patriarchy in particular.

It's an incredibly scary game that uses a feminine sort of horror to great effect, with the design of the other world being as bloody as it is and the monster designs being representative of this. I mean there is a type of creature that are literally supposed to look like fetuses that start getting bigger throughout the game as the birth of God draws near and the giant worm boss for lack of a better way of putting, literally being a giant penis. I think the main complaint that I hear from people about this game is how slow the story is in the first half of the game, but I think the whole getting home late at night as a young woman contributes a lot to what this game is saying. And I absolutely love how this game ends with Heather literally aborting God and fighting it as the final boss, symbolizing her fully taking control of her life and rejecting all of the harmful expectations that were forced onto her. Main antagonist Claudia is such a tragic character though, someone who was so brainwashed by town's religion into think that someone HAS to give birth to God so hard that she did it herself and she suffered for it.

Also while not as intentional considering when it was written and they probably couldn't even write about this stuff if they wanted to, something that I think is worth noting is that I've heard from a lot of trans people who relate to this game as well and I can really see it. Considering it's about people who Heather knows from a past life, coming back to remind her of that past life and forcing it onto her, and Claudia referring to Heather as Alessa could be interpreted as deadnaming Heather. But yeah I've always really loved and connected with this game for how well it handles it's themes about woman's experiences and I think it's really cool how many trans people have been able to relate to it with those specific experiences as well.

Another of my favorite things about Silent Hill 3 is the main character Heather, because she really is one of the coolest characters that I've always really related to. Her struggles are incredibly relatable, but she's also inspiring in how she overcomes them and is always so confident. In fact I appreciate how her and her father subvert societal gender roles in opposite directions, with Heather being as confident and extroverted as she is, probably more then any other Silent Hill protagonist and willing to stand up to all of the men in the story like Douglas in the beginning, Vincent and Leonard, along with all of the monsters she has to fight. And Harry being a single parent who is as gentle and caring as he is, with his one track mind of looking as his daughter, he's kind of both a father and a mother in that way, and also being as physically weak as he is and the opposite of a action hero. She also easily has the most personality of any Silent Hill protagonist, like this girl is overflowing with charisma and is even a little jokey. In fact another detail that I like is how much personality comes through in her examine dialogue, where you actually get to hear her thoughts on everything instead of just basic observation "this is a thing" that the other games in the series do. Heather has opinions on everything, but how she's feeling throughout the game is also conveyed. The dialogue of her observations in the first half of the game has a much more playful and hopeful tone to it, but after Harry dies she becomes much more pessimistic, can only see the negatives in everything and just doesn't seem to care anymore.

Heather is an incredibly well written and nuanced character, and I'll be honest that this is the game I least want to see be remade because I know that they would find a way to fuck up the writing of her character and handling of the themes of this game. Even after the Silent Hill 2 remake being as good as it is, one of Blooperteams biggest flaws is being incapable of handling anything to do with woman's experiences or perspective. SH2 used to be my fav, but I came to realize that it was mostly just because it was the popular one and that I vibe a lot more with SH3 and 4. Especially because SH2 tells a story about misogyny but makes it all about the perpetrator rather then the victim, unlike Silent Hill 3 which does actually tell the story of someone on the receiving end of that type of violence and objectification. SH3 and 4 are my personal favorites, 3 because Heather is best protagonist and I really appreciate it's themes which are handled perfectly, and SH4 because it has a really cool narrative and horror concepts. I know opinions on SH4 are really split, and while I think there are some gameplay things that are jank, I love it's story and premise so much.

[sm0lprism]

Bite-Sized (14) - A BG3 G/t Fanfic

This contains g/t (giant/tiny content) so if that isn't your thing, then I suggest you stop reading. Thank you!

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1 | Previous chapter| Series master list

Summary: Ria awakes the following morning from the events of the tiefling party to a horrendous hangover and finds herself in Astarion's tent.

Pairing: Astarion x f!borrower!oc (Tav/oc) (slow-burn)

Warnings: Suggestive, mild nudity, course language, mentions of slavery/abuse (Astarion's past/backstory).

Word count: 4.4k

Taglist: @alexcutecolly @rose7420 @empressxmachina @taters169 @feral-sins @smolgloves @smolkuriboh27 (if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to let me know!)

A pounding, almost bludgeoning pain resonated through Ria’s skull as she struggled to open her heavy eyelids. Immediately she clutched her head, feeling every single pulse as if someone was swinging a hammer at her skull. Despite the vibrating pain in her head, her body was surprisingly comfortable. This certainly felt nothing like her old tent. The surface she was lying on was incredibly soft and plush, her tiny body sinking into the luscious fabric as if she was floating on a fluffy cloud. A familiar scent quickly graced her nostrils and she breathed it in deeply. Sunny notes of citrus flooded her senses, coupled with a slight alcoholic overtone that piqued her interest.

Wait…is that…brandy? No…that’s…that’s…

Her eyelids suddenly shot open once she realised where she was, the remnants of sleep now completely gone as she turned her head over to her side. Her entire body froze over when her gaze fell on the slumbering giant that was lying directly next to her.

It was Astarion.

Her heart almost threatened to leap out of her throat once she realised her predicament. She was lying on a pillow with Astarion’s handkerchief draped over her body to act as some kind of blanket, and Astarion himself was lying right next to her. She wasn’t lying on the same pillow as him, but this was still far too close for comfort. Frantically she attempted to recall the events of last night, wondering what had she done to end up sharing his tent of all people.

What happened last night? Did…did Astarion and I…?

Red blossomed across her pale face as the very thought plagued through her mind. No, there was no possible way that anything could’ve happened between her and Astarion. But, despite her brain trying to think logically, another part of her mind began to wander elsewhere. Her gaze fell onto the pale elf’s lips and her heart began to flutter against her chest. She remembered the events of yesterday prior to the party just fine, and now that she was staring at his lips, the memory of falling in the giant cup and being pressed against his mouth flashed through her mind. Her entire body had been pushed against his lips – practically kissing her.

No, stop it! It was not a kiss! I just…fell onto his lips. That’s how gravity works.

She remembered how soft his lips had been. Her body pressed against his mouth, moments before she had fallen inside. He had been so very gentle with her, even after she had stabbed his tongue repeatedly.

Stop this right now!

Ria clasped her hands over her burning face and refused to look at the sleeping vampire. She was horrified with herself that she was having such indecent thoughts about the elf of all people. Her head was still pounding relentlessly, constantly reminding her that she had consumed so much alcohol that she still couldn’t properly remember the events of the tiefling party from last night. What had happened? She remembered speaking to Shadowheart who had kindly offered her some wine. Not long after the cleric had left, Astarion had found her. After that everything became hazy.

I need to leave. Now.

Very tentatively she slipped down the pillow until her feet hit the hard floor below. Perhaps if she was quiet enough, she could sneak out of the tent before Astarion woke up from his trance. Slowly but surely, she inched closer towards the mouth of the tent, wincing every so often as her brain reeled from the effects of her drinking from last night. Gritting her teeth, she kept on pushing forward.

Just keep on going…

“Leaving so soon? Don’t I at least get a good morning?”

The borrower’s entire body froze over as if she had been blasted with a ray of frost. Her heart almost burst out of her chest as she slowly turned her head around to look up at the smirking giant elf. Her breath hitched as she saw that he had rolled over onto his side, one hand holding his face as he leaned against his pillow, the laces of his ruffled shirt had become loose and was revealing more of his chest than what she was used to.

“My fangs are up here, darling,” Astarion’s voice chimed from above, startling Ria back to her senses.

If her face wasn’t completely red before, it certainly was now and she frantically fixed her eyes onto the floor of the tent. She couldn’t believe that Astarion had just called her out for staring and embarrassment threatened to smother her completely.

“W-what am I doing here?” she managed to choke out, her voice wavering.

“Well, after the events of last night, it made perfect sense for you to share my tent.” A very smug grin curled at the corners of his lips. “You don’t remember?”

Her heart spasmed against her ribcage. What was he implying? What had happened last night?

“N-no,” she stammered, swallowing thickly. “I don’t remember. All I remember is drinking some wine, you offered me some, and…that’s it.”

Astarion’s massive frame suddenly shifted, now looming over her even closer than before, the ground trembling from his large movements. If this had been a few weeks ago, the sight of Astarion hovering above her would’ve sent her running. But right now, it was almost as if someone had glued her to the ground as she gazed up at his giant form.

“I’m not surprised you don’t remember after all that wine you drank last night,” he hummed, wetting his lips. “I’ve never seen someone so small consume so much alcohol before.”

The rumblings from Astarion’s voice vibrated through the air and she winced as a stab of pain flared in her skull.

“I’m certainly paying for it now,” she grumbled, clutching the side of her head. “Remind me never to drink that much again.”

“Note taken,” he replied.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she steadied her gaze back at the giant vampire.

“So…um…what happened last night? Why am I here?”

“Oh, you should see the look on your face,” Astarion purred, completely ignoring her question. “It is delicious. Are you worried that events may have…transpired between us?”

Her face burned as Astarion voiced her thoughts. And what made it worse was the feeling of butterflies swarming in her stomach that refused to leave. There was no way that she should be feeling like this about the pale elf, especially considering everything that had happened, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how he had saved her life yesterday. It certainly didn’t help that he was very attractive–

Shut up! Shut up! Stop it right now!

“Oh darling, while it is adorable watching you act so flustered, I won’t hold you in suspense any longer,” he said, a devilish smirk curling at the corners of his mouth. “You can rest assured that nothing happened between us. Besides, can you imagine it? Ugh. No. You’re a borrower after all.”

Astarion’s words shouldn’t have hurt her, but for whatever reason, they did. Not that long ago she was spitting curse words at him, but now, she felt a part of her heart crumble upon hearing his response. If anything, she should’ve been relieved to hear his answer, but she wasn’t at all.

“Y-yeah, right,” she answered stiffly, trying to hide her real emotions. “And you’re a vampire. Of course nothing would happen. Besides, how would it work? I’m so…small.”

“Precisely, darling,” Astarion said. “Anyways, the real reason why you’re here is because some careless tiefling crushed your tent underfoot. I couldn’t just let you sleep out in the open by yourself.”

Ria’s eyes widened in shock upon hearing his response.

“W-wait, nobody put my tent away during the party?” she gaped, a bit horrified that if she hadn’t been with Astarion last night she would’ve been crushed in her sleep.

Astarion shrugged casually, as if he couldn’t care less. “Aren’t you happy that you were with me last night? Gods forbid what would’ve happened to you if you had stayed in your tent during the party.”

Ria swallowed thickly, a shiver running down her spine as she tried not to think too much about it. She was upset that nobody had bothered to put away her tent. Despite how kind and accommodating everyone had been to her since she had joined the group, it shocked her that nobody had thought about her small tent. She didn’t want to think about where she would be sleeping once nightfall came again now that the tent was destroyed. Exhaling deeply, she walked towards the entrance of Astarion’s tent.

“Oh, you don’t want to keep me company?” Astarion’s voice rumbled from above.

“I need to get out of here,” she answered quickly. “And I desperately need a decent bath, especially after what I went through yesterday. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ask Shadowheart if I can borrow some of her soap.”

Ria didn’t hear a word from the pale elf as she exited his tent and her eyes squinted as the morning rays of sunlight shone down on her tiny frame. It was still somewhat early, not everyone had risen yet. She assumed most of them were feeling the effects from the party last night. As if to remind her, a searing pain flared in her skull as she walked towards Shadowheart’s tent.

Perhaps I can ask Shadowheart to remove this hangover for me with her magic while I’m at it.  

As she neared the cleric’s tent, she paused as she noticed the half-elf emerge from the tent with a very happy expression painted across her features. It seemed as if Shadowheart had a very good night. The half-elf’s gaze quickly fell on the borrower and her smile deepened upon seeing her.

“Shar’s blessing to you, Ria.”

Ria was somewhat perplexed by the mention of Shar – she had briefly heard Shadowheart mention the name a few times, but she couldn’t recall exactly what it meant. Perhaps she would have to ask the cleric later when she wasn’t feeling so horribly hungover.

“Good morning,” she replied thickly, wincing as more pain pierced through her skull. “Did you have fun last night?”

Shadowheart’s face practically lit up upon hearing the borrower’s question. “Oh, it was wonderful. Karlach and I basically talked the entire night away, since, well, we couldn’t exactly touch each other. She mentioned that perhaps we could find some temporary ways to cool her down, so maybe I’ll be able to steal a kiss from her very soon. How was your night?”

Ria could only offer the cleric a very weak smile as her head continued to pound violently against her skull. She was happy for Shadowheart and Karlach, but she couldn’t express her full support when her head felt as if it wanted to explode.

“To be perfectly honest, I’m terribly hungover,” she murmured, her eyebrows knitting together. “I can barely remember what happened last night.”

Shadowheart’s eyes widened in concern, and the cleric immediately kneeled so that she wasn’t towering over the borrower anymore.

“Oh, that simply won’t do,” the cleric said, a green aura beginning to radiate from her hands. “Just hold still for a moment, I’ll rectify that in a second.”

Ria froze in place as Shadowheart’s index finger softly touched her forehead, magic coursing through her body as the throbbing pain in her skull gradually faded until it was completely gone.

Shadowheart retracted her finger, smiling softly at Ria.

“How do you feel now?”

“Much better, thank you.” She heaved a deep sigh of relief, thankful that the pounding feeling in her brain was gone.

“Anytime,” Shadowheart replied softly.

“I do have another favour to ask, though,” Ria quickly added. “I am in desperate need of a good bath; do you have any soap that you can spare?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Shadowheart exclaimed, quickly dipping into her tent without another word. A few moments passed and the half-elf reemerged with a bar of soap in her hand along with a clean purple handkerchief.

“I can give you a ride down to the river as well,” Shadowheart added. “There is no need for you to walk all the way over there by yourself. This’ll be much faster for you.”

Ria stared up at Shadowheart with gratitude, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Thank you so much, that is very kind of you.”

“This is nothing, honestly. I’m happy to help whenever you need me, okay?”

Ria had never been more thankful for a bath in her entire life. After being dunked in beer, swirled around inside Astarion’s mouth, and sprayed in blood, the feeling of cleanliness felt like a blessing from the gods themselves. She had scrubbed vigorously against her skin using a chunk of the soap that Shadowheart had provided until she was adamant that the smell of blood and beer was completely gone.

Shadowheart offered her hand to the borrower, her palm facing upwards. The cleric’s kindness almost made Ria forget about the entire tent scenario, and she eagerly climbed into her waiting hand.

***

She had also used this as a good opportunity to clean her clothes, which, at this point, were more like a bunch of rags now with how tattered they were. Her shirt and pants were thoroughly scrubbed, and were now drying in the sun on a small rock along the shore. Hopefully when she had finished her bath, they would at least be somewhat dry enough for her to wear comfortably. 

She released a sigh of contentment as the cool waters of the river rushed over her. It was a welcome change to how gross she had been feeling over the past few days. Being able to finally be clean was exactly what she needed. A few more minutes passed as she enjoyed the soothing waters of the river and massaged her fingers through her auburn locks.

As she continued to massage her scalp, a flood of memories from the tiefling party suddenly crashed through her brain like a tidal wave. It seemed since Shadowheart had cured her of her hangover, it had allowed her to tap into those foggy memories from the previous night.

Ria slowly stopped scrubbing her hair as she remembered her heartfelt talk with Astarion – the fact that he had approached her by himself and apologised for what had happened at the Goblin Camp almost made her jaw hit the ground and her chest tighten. But what shocked her most of all, was the fact that she had gotten so horrendously drunk with the pale elf that she had fallen asleep on his leg.

Oh gods…that’s why I woke up in Astarion’s tent…this is humiliating.

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to bury herself alive so she wouldn’t have to show her face at camp ever again. At least none of the others – other than Astarion of course – had witnessed her drunken antics. The fact that she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable and drunk around Astarion was utterly mortifying to say the least. She knew she would never hear the end of it from the vampire spawn, and it surprised her that he hadn’t shared that detail with her when she had woken up in his tent that morning.

Perhaps I should get out now before I drown myself in the river from embarrassment.

As she began to stride towards the shoreline, she noticed the water rippling strangely. Pausing briefly, her brows furrowed as she noticed the bizarre movement.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

She sucked in a sharp breath as small earthquakes rattled the sediment beneath her feet. Someone was approaching, and quickly. Frantically scanning the area, she immediately sprinted towards the shoreline and ducked behind a large rock that was jutting out of the ground. In her haste she grabbed the handkerchief that Shadowheart had given her and wrapped it around her trembling form.

The tremors quickly became more intense with each passing second and she clapped a hand over her mouth as Astarion’s towering figure came into view. The pale elf was carrying a small rattan basket at his hip and he gently placed it on the ground near the shoreline. He seemed to be completely oblivious to Ria’s presence.  

Why did it have to be him?

Much to her astonishment, the vampire spawn began to remove his clothing. Her eyes widened as she watched him remove his ruffled shirt, revealing an expanse of toned abs, defined muscles rippling beneath his lustrous pale skin.

She knew that averting her gaze was the right thing to do, but it was almost as if she was under some hypnotic spell as she continued to watch the pale elf remove the rest of his clothing. As he peeled off his dark pants, she had to stifle a laugh as she saw Astarion’s shockingly blue underwear. Her amusement quickly faded as the bright blue underwear soon flew off, revealing his incredibly pale behind.

At this point, Ria had enough strength to tear her gaze away from his giant naked frame before she saw anything else. Her skin burned like fire as her brain attempted to process what she had just seen. Her stomach twisted into knots, the realisation that she had just willingly witnessed Astarion strip and seen things she really shouldn’t have begun to sink in. Burying her face with her hands, she pressed her back against the stone and wrapped the handkerchief around her body tighter.

At least Astarion doesn’t know I’m here. Maybe I can leave without him noticing.

As soon as the thought popped into her brain, she quickly dismissed it. If she decided to make a stealthy escape, there was a very strong chance that the vampire’s keen eyes would be able to detect her scurrying away. Perhaps if she was deathly quiet, she could wait it out until the pale elf had finished his bath and went on his way.

I could be waiting here a while…he really does care about his appearance.

Chewing on her bottom lip somewhat anxiously, she waited behind the stone as the occasional splashing noise filled the air. Time seemed to pass by longer than usual as she waited with baited breath for the elf to finish his cleaning routine.

Gods, I’m going to be here forever at this rate!

Somewhat gingerly, she decided to peek a small glance over the stone to see if Astarion was anywhere near to being done with his bath. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw his towering figure half submerged in the river, his toned and very pearly white back was now facing her. For whatever reason, she found it almost impossible to tear her gaze away from his form. Strongly defined scars were raised above his skin, a stark contrast to the pale smoothness of his back. Her brows furrowed as she stared intently at his scars. The arrangement of them seemed very deliberate as if someone had carved it strategically into his back. She squinted her eyes at his back and her jaw slacked.

The scars were written in Infernal, the language of the Hells.

When she was a child, her family lived in a home owned by a small family of tieflings just along the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. The tieflings had many things written in Infernal and she remembered seeing some of the writing scattered around the house when she went borrowing with her father. What any of it meant though was unknown to her.

“Enjoying the show, darling?”

An icicle of terror jolted straight through her chest as Astarion’s voice pounded through her tiny eardrums. She had been so caught up with deciphering his scars, she hadn’t realised his head had turned to the side and was looking directly at her. Her entire body was washed over with utter horror as she rapidly hid back behind the stone. As she reeled in shock, the sound of water splashing filled her ears as Astarion moved around in the river.

“There’s no point pretending to act like you aren’t here. I can hear your little heartbeat pounding away after all, remember?”

Swallowing thickly, she attempted to steel herself.

“I-I was just leaving!”

She scrambled over to where her clothes were sunning on the small rock and snatched up the clothing hastily, refusing to look where Astarion was in the river, and quickly returned to her spot behind the rock so that he couldn’t see her anymore.

“I thought vampires couldn’t swim in running rivers,” she said shakily.

“Another perk from having the mind flayer parasite,” Astarion answered. “I can run through rivers, walk into homes uninvited, walk in the sun…it’s quite remarkable, really.”

“Of course, that makes sense.” She clutched her clothing to her chest and wasted little time in putting them on.

A small moment of silence passed between them. Ria could hear her own heartbeat pounding so fiercely in her eardrums that it drowned out any other noise.  

“I couldn’t help but to notice you were staring earlier,” Astarion chimed, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realise you were that smitten by me, darling. Although I can hardly blame you when I have these gods given good looks.”

Ria wanted nothing more in that moment to vanish entirely. Blood rushed to her cheeks and her skin burned with embarrassment. There was no use trying to deny it, he had caught her in the act after all for the second time that day. But perhaps she could deter the subject.

“I was only trying to decipher those scars of yours,” she said. “How did you get them?”

There was no response to her question. She couldn’t see his face as she was still hidden behind the rock, but it appeared that her question had struck a chord with him as he was silent for once.

“Astarion?” Ria called out. When she was met with nothing, she cautiously peered around the rock she was hiding behind. Astarion was still waist deep in the river, his lower regions concealed by the water, and a rather pained look was painted across his elegant features.

“You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry for prying,” she said hastily, worried that she may have resurfaced some troubled memories from his past.

“No, it’s quite alright,” Astarion answered, his face sombre. “I was a slave, kept by the Szarr family. The scars are a poem. A gift from my master, Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. He composed and carved that one over the course of a night.”

Astarion paused, his face contorted in discomfort as his eyes glazed over, seemingly lost momentarily in a dark memory of his past.

“He made a lot of revisions as he went.” His jaw clenched as the words fell out of his mouth, his playful behaviour from before had completely vanished before very eyes.

Ria’s eyes widened as she fully absorbed the weight of his words, her mouth parted slightly in shock. She would’ve never had guessed that Astarion had been – or perhaps still is – a slave. A wave of sympathy washed over her as she struggled to think of how to respond.

“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, her brows furrowed. “I had no idea.”

“Oh please, I don’t want your sympathy,” Astarion scoffed. “I was his slave for 200 years of my life. I prayed to every god there was, but no one came to help. No prince in shining armour came to my aid. Of all the things that could’ve saved me, it was the mind flayers. As rotten as they are, they broke Cazador’s spell on me and I was finally able to resist his commands. Now I’ve been conveniently lost.” He peeled back his lips into a growl as his gaze hardened. “They won’t ever control me again.”

Her chest was constricted with sadness upon hearing more of his past. She wanted to offer more words of comfort, but she knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear given his previous response.

“Why did Cazador write the poem in Infernal?” she questioned.

Astarion’s eyes widened in surprise, seemingly caught off guard by her question.

“Infernal? I…who knows? The bastard was insane.” He ran his fingers through his damp curls, his gaze sharpening as he focused back onto her. “Better question is, how does a little borrower like you know the language of the Hells?”

“My family lived under the floorboards of a house full of tieflings,” she answered, a small smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I can’t read it though, but I know Infernal when I see it.”  

“Well, that is certainly interesting.” He massaged shampoo through his scalp before rinsing it off in the river, shaking droplets of water from his wet locks. “Now, if you are quite done staring, I would like to continue my bath.”

Scarlet blossomed across her face and she quickly spun on her heel so that she was no longer facing him.

“I told you I was planning on having a bath earlier, it’s your own fault for blundering down here when you knew I would be here too.” She sucked in a sharp breath, trying to hide her own embarrassment. It was bad enough that Astarion had already caught her staring at him when she had woken up in his tent that morning, now she had seen other parts of his body that had previously been left up to her imagination.

“I didn’t realise you were going to take so long,” Astarion responded. “Everyone is packing up camp and getting ready to move on, and it was vital that I had a decent bath before we hit the road again. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a proper bath…”  

“Well, maybe if someone hadn’t dropped me in a tub of beer and then proceeded to stick me in their mouth, I wouldn’t have had to spend so much time cleaning myself,” she shot back.

Ria still had her back turned to him, but she could feel in the air that he was rolling his eyes.

“The fact of the matter is that you’re still here,” he said. “I never took you for a voyeur, but I suppose we’ve both learned something new about each other.”

“I’m leaving!” Ria began to stride very quickly towards the direction of camp, not daring to look over her shoulder as her skin burned as hot as Karlach’s engine. “And I am not into voyeurism!”  

“Whatever you say, darling.”

[twilightkitkat]

Hi, I have a question, what do you think the relationship between Logan and Steve would be like? Would they be friends or just partners in war? In "X-Men Evolution" You can see how Logan has a certain appreciation for him, saying that both make a great team , and Wade's reaction to knowing that his peanut knows his childhood idol would be very funny, he would surely go crazy

(English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any mistakes)

I think that Logan and Steve have a unique relationship. They're close in the sense that they trust each other and would fight back to back without doubt, but they're distant in the sense that they don't spend a ton of time together. They both have worked together long enough to know that they make a good team and that the other's reliable, but they aren't traditional friends.

I feel like Steve would feel closer to Logan than Logan feels to Steve. Steve remembers the war like it was yesterday, he suddenly woke up in the future with it fresh in his mind. Suddenly everyone he knew is now dead and he has to come to terms with an entirely new reality. He'd struggle and look for any kind of familiarity he could, and so even people he used to just view as teammates he misses. Logan was someone he admired, who used to run into danger and miraculously come out of it alive each time. He was a symbol of hope for Steve, and an inspiration for how he should fight to win the war.

Logan, on the other hand, lived through all those years. He's used to war and violence and meeting people and losing them. Most of it blurs together, after a while. He knew about his immortality and always expected to outlive his teammates, so he kept emotional distance from them. He cared about Steve in a way, they worked together and occasionally they drank together and exchange stories, but he never was under the illusion it'd last. So he did what he was good at: distancing himself before people had the chance to get too close. He respected Steve's abilities and even came to like him, but there was always a wall between them.

But still, the two spent time together. Both out of necessity and occasionally by choice. Steve was more open between the two, and talked about his life and hopes and dreams. Logan couldn't help but listen, even if he couldn't offer much in return. He sometimes sprinkled in half-truths about his life, but kept it vague. He couldn't let anyone find out about his mutant status or actual age, so he was pretty withdrawn. Steve noticed, but didn't comment.

If they reunited, it'd be a one-sided shock. Logan watches TV and naturally knew about Captain America's existence. How could he not, when Steve Rogers was America's poster boy? The Avengers were way too big to fly under the radar. Meanwhile, Steve knew about the X-men's existence, but never thought it might be Logan as The Wolverine he'd heard about.

When they sorted it out, I think Steve would be grateful to have someone who he shared a past with. Who knew about who he used to be and what war was like back then. Logan would feel a little lighter, knowing that his old teammate was doing well. They might not see eye to eye all the time and their methods are pretty different, but they both care.

Wade would be understandably shocked and awestruck when he learned they knew each other. But more than Wade's reaction to Steve, I think that Steve's reaction to Wade would be interesting.

Steve had always seen Logan as someone distant and unattainable. He didn't open up to people and clearly had some secrets he was keeping close. Even after learning about his powers with their reunion, he didn't know everything about his past. He thought Logan was just that kind of guy, caring and kind in his own way but gruff and stoic on the outside. A lone wolf who's dedicated to doing the right thing, but doing it his way.

And here Wade was, bouncing around Logan like a damn pinball in a machine, and Logan was... smiling at him. Fondly, dripping with affection. It's so painfully obvious that he cares and Steve has never seen Logan so open about his feelings. He was expressive, sure, but he guarded his affection and more vulnerable emotions close to his heart.

It'd be a little jarring to see how Logan acted around Wade. Affectionate, free, content. It wasn't like the image Steve had in his head at all and yet it suited him.

It made Steve reflect on himself. If even Logan could act like that, what about him? He'd fostered business relationships, friendships, and teamwork. But maybe he should look for more. (Could he be that happy, too?)

Steve may be America's Poster Boy, but he was alone. He had to stand up and stand out to get recognition. He was the leader, the one people relied on, never allowed to be vulnerable or break character. But if Logan found someone he could rely on, who he saw as an equal...

Maybe Steve has more to learn than just the technology in this new era.