#i know nothing about westerns but!!!! i thought i can give it a try... maybe

[ffa07aa]

um. accidentally created western ff7 au (with vampires. it's. a long story)

[sluttysissyslave]

For Sissies and Alike!

This is a very long post so bear with me, do with it what you wish, forget it if you want to, but maybe, just maybe consider it. So, let me tell you why and how you all became what you are today, and how to go forward. If you feel you relate to it then let it sit, if it doesn't, forget about it.

Most of you developed these feelings when you were alone and sad, your standards dropped lower and lower without you even realizing it, and next thing you know you're fantasizing about being a slut for women, or maybe even men. But what you forgot about, was that originally, you were just searching for female affection, the touch of that girl you really liked but were too afraid to go up to. You became so desperate for love, for some sort of connection that you started modifying things... "Maybe if I submit myself to a woman she will finally love me" you degraded yourself for love you didn't try hard enough to get. And now, behind a digital screen you've found what you call your little safe space, you don't feel like you're alone in this anymore, it's your coping mechanism. You seek validation in a place designed for men to be degraded, not validated. If you started cross-dressing when you were young. Ask yourself: did you get a lot of human connection? Did your parents pay attention to you? You realised that girls receive all the attention, the love you so desperately wanted that no-one gave you when you were young. So you subconsciously realised the being a girl could get you that. When you wore the girly clothes and finally felt warm, and embraced, you just manifested that for yourself over time and when it happened you actually believed it, which is only natural, that's what manifestation does. Your mind tricked you into believing that you found what you were looking for. 

So, we've established that doing sexually feminine things is because submissive thoughts in a gay way is because you crave the love and affection you've been missing in your life. 

Some people call this mental illness, I think that's disrespectful and inaccurate, I say these traits are mental coping mechanisms, and you know what? They feel good, they feel great in fact, but they aren't what you were meant to be, you find solace and comfort in those rushes of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals. But let me remind you, this isn't a long-term solution, you will realize this as time goes on, so you'll go even more extreme to cope, to get an even bigger rush. You need to reconsider, the withdrawal will feel terrible, but the way you are currently going won't get you to the desires you were always meant to have, not the ones you might think you're currently suppressing.

Brainwashing:

Arguably you are truly the victims, but no-one is coming to save you but yourself. You will always be tested, from all sides, it's up to you whether you give in or not. Be strong, don't give in, stand your ground. Trust that there's always a better way, a better option, one that's more rewarding than the path you're on now.

So why are you the victims? Well in modern western society it is being slowly programmed into people from a very young age, as soon as they can absorb information. Ideologies that men are worthless, good for nothing, and that women are superior. I don't want to go into the details of why this is the case because then you'll be reading this until tomorrow, but trust me that it's the case, and let me prove it with an adequate example. Most submissive men (and all woke and other LGBT people are all located in the "rich" west), almost none in eastern and conservative countries. Why is that? They don't have exposure to these things from a young age, it's not that sissies and alike don't exist there, they aren't created. Also they are often poorer than you are, with lots of social security, peace and plentiful resources, people get lazy and weak, those people living in let's say, Moldova, have other things to worry about than putting on makeup and sticking a butt plug up their bum. They aren't suppressing any femininity (sexually), they never had any to begin with.

Let's talk about how you and your thoughts are being manipulated.

Origins in modern pop culture:

Tv shows - the man is always the idiot and the woman is always the smart, reasonable one. That wasn't always the case in civilized history, both men and women were smart and reasonable, their combined traits completed each other's and they could be a strong couple. Let's look at some examples… It starts with Friends - Joey, Chandler, are portrayed as a bit dumb, and the girls generally smarter. The Simpsons - Homer is an idiot, his wife is the real boss. Family Guy - Peter is an absolute idiot and Louis is the brains of the family, a voice of reason. And it's even in shows for little children, in Peppa pig The father is hardly a figure to look up to. The disrespect towards men has been going on for decades, and it really started, rather perhaps interestingly, after the fall of the Soviet Union, but I once again don't want to get into politics or else this post will never end. We are at a stage now where especially if you're white you are almost persecuted for it. You can't disagree when I say all people should be treated equally right? So why doesn't that apply to race. A fitting quote to go by for this would be: "Don't humiliate yourself before anyone, and don't haughty yourself over anyone"

I actually feel terrible for the genuine, kind, trans women who have done so much for themselves and still don't maybe feel good and satisfied. You've had to overcome a lot in pursuit of happiness, and whether you made you right or wrong choice is now irrelevant. Try to live your best life with what you have, and don't look back, it's too late for that anyway, it would only make things worse now. Look towards the future and never look back, do things which make YOU happy, and not someone else.

For dominant women: Don't see this as a threat, there will always be guys who are more submissive, everyone is definitely and spread out all across the scale, you'll find who you're looking for, only men with with low self-esteem want a weak-minded woman who they can control in all aspects of life. Most men like a strong-minded woman, I also want a strong woman. But don't confuse this for sexual submissiveness/dominance, those aren't the same thing. Feminine doesn't mean weak! 

General statement: The world is all butterflies and fairy tales now, enjoy it while you can, it will get worse, wars are coming, political and ideological changes are going to happen and if you are unprepared then, I have news, it won't end well. You are living in a digital jail right now, you are getting affected/manipulated, but at the end of the day you are the one who holds your own phone or opens your computer. Give yourself the power to control yourself, and free yourself of this jail.

IDEAS AND SOLUTIONS

Become the type man you'd want to serve: Often I see people with slight or fully gay fantasies about men, or being outperformed by certain men (women want them and not you. Become that man. It's going to be hard, in fact it's going to be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, and it won't even come close. Try it, a person should be adventurous in life so why wouldn't you like to feel what it's like being that person? And the best part is, if you don't like it, you can go back to what you were before and say that you've tried it all and found what you really are, but you can't say that without actually experiencing it, not even a discussion. It'll be a process for a minimum of 1-2 years, and will require discipline and self-control, hey that's similar to serving and/or being locked in chastity, both of those require discipline and self-control too. You can do it.

Find yourself: People love talking about finding themselves, I read it here every now and again, "I found my true self here". You cannot find yourself behind a digital screen, you will find yourself by putting yourself in difficult situations, the easiest way to do that is by going into nature. Take a large backpack with only your essentials and survive in the forest for a week. If that's too much, then just go out in the morning, spend the night and come back, walking through terrain and getting to some destination. Maybe you live in a cold climate, in winter go out into the snow and walk around the forests all day. Remember to bring an emergency phone if going to places you don't know too well. 

Estrogen vs Testosterone: Estrogen makes you girly, and Testosterone manly, we know that right? To increase your estrogen naturally you can drink soy product, live an unhealthy lifestyle, and mentally stimulate yourself. You cannot produce as much estrogen naturally as a woman does, you'd have to take supplements. A healthy lifestyle in women increases their estrogen, and a healthy lifestyle in men increases their testosterone. You can increase your testosterone by exercising, eating meat (protein), onion, dark chocolate, a Mediterranean diet is pretty good, and of course getting high quality sleep, (here I am at 3am writing this post - hypocrite, I'm ashamed and I'll work on it).

Reward yourself. When you achieved a goal to becoming your new masculine life, treat yourself to something fulfilling. Whether it's some sort of food or an experience. We all need positive affirmations. You can reflect on what you've done well and what you've done poorly. Like me who wanted to s few important things and instead procrastinated for 3 days, hence, no reward, but as double self motivation I'll do a super big reward after putting myself together and getting all I wanted done (this post was no. 5 priority).

Belief. Believe in yourself that you can do it, your mind is extremely powerful, you give it less credit than it deserves, if you channel it the right way then it was serve you as a great tool.

Energy. Energy is another real, powerful, but invisible thing. Have you ever entered a historical religious place of worship? Like an ancient church in Europe or a mosque in the old Ottoman Empire like Turkey or even spain, a Buddhist or Hindu temple in Asia… they all have energy which you can feel, you absorb things differently with various energies. Or maybe more relatable, you're having fun at an outgoing fun party, you feel good right, smiling and enjoying life. That's positive energy. If you put yourself in environments with the type of energy you are currently looking for, it will help, a lot. I don't mean to say you should be religious or anything, but there's nothing wrong if you are or want to, it gives you hope and a sense of safety and security in its own ways.

Stand up for yourself. Have some morals and beliefs which you like and stand by. Don't be afraid to defend them in an argument.

This is my first authentic post on this website and I was very hesitant to make it, after all no-one might even read what I spent so much time on, but if at least one person is somehow positively influenced then it was worth it. I know that I will probably be reported by someone simply because they didn't agree with what I wrote, and my account will be taken down. If you don't agree with the things I said then ignore them, I made this for people who can resonate with something I wrote (not at all necessarily all of it), people who don't even know why they like the things they like, know it's not what they always wanted but find pleasure in it now. Hence please reblog if you like what you read, it won't be here forever.

If you are unsure or want to discuss anything feel free to DM.

If you want to do some research yourself, start with researching "Subliminal perception". It's absolutely everywhere and affects everyone, like it or not.

I might start positive things with a little political subcontext explaining my points further.

[timkontheunsure]

Now that full moon has come out, how do you think apology tour will play out, with clips from the trailer that seem to be from that episode? We know now how their conversation went after the crystal which was about 75% what most fans thought. Whether stolas was invited by verosika or not, he will sing a song about Blitz, at a concert called Blitzo Sucks. For me, after this episode, stolas singing a song bashing blitz seems unfair. And I’d hate for it to be seen as character development for stolas to feel empowered by saying he’s better off without blitz.

Hum ok so here's the trailer without full moon.

(sorry it makes the sound a bit garbled)

So yer we can assume all stuff with Verosika, or them in the same outfits is going to be apology tour. 🙂

Wait didn't we see Stolas calendar.

This half of the season has been fairly close together.

Humm ok going to guess that whatever gets Stolas to Voroskia's show is the scary thing with 2 !!

Heh he also put a dick on the calendar, these two are so alike. 😆

Hang on, I'm about to fall down a rabbit hole. So Western Energy and Oops are a week apart, with Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special shortly after.

Going to guess Western Energy is on the 4th with the 5th and 6th blacked out with Blitz's freekout to find Barbie.

Can see the 5th says 'kill all!!' and 'check the van!!'

Humm can see why it'd need checking after that.

Could be Oops was on the 15th with 'Call Fizzarolli" being the day after?

Not sure where Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special would be though. Maybe 21st if 'kill that fucking guy's is about the creepy stalker?

Ok, back on track.

Going guess that Blitz goes to talk to Stolas in his garden.

Trying to pretend nothing happened, that they can just go on as normal like they did in seeing stars.

And gets snarked at because Stolas isn't having it. Something he says makes Blitz need to talk with Voroskia.

Possibly the "any kind of remorse for what you do?" bit. (Honestly still sounds like a line to Stella, but they played the other bits straight so now less sure).

Think Blitz sneaks in, looks like he might have hidden under a drop cloth from backstage. Gets into a fight with Verosika before the show " the everyone in hell is shity" bit. Possibly mentioning the breakup with Stolas.

He ends up ticking around for the show when he sees Stolas there.

Voroskia does her normal Blitz sucks song (effigy cake cutting in it);

then invites Stolas to also dump on him because of what Blitz says.

Stolas song starts off about how his life was crap before Blitz (parles with You will be ok),

that he loved this guy who made him happy, but who never wanted him back,

that their relationship was just coursing them both pain, that Blitz was never happy with him,

and that the image in his head of them has been shattered.

Looks like Voroskia comes to twist the knife at how badly Blitz screwed up a really good thing.

Hopefully with them talking and her getting real closure? While Blitz finally come to see Stolas.

Blitz breaks into Stolas' bedroom after the show and they both talk. (Can see they're on his bedroom sofa).

With them agreeing to give it a shot but not really defining what that is. (What can I say I still think they'll be dummies).

(Sorry this tuck a bit to get back to you. My draft got eaten by save errors grumble).

[bunnakit]

my stand in ep 2 thoughts, feelings, etc.

alright i wanted to write this up nicely but it took me... two hours to get through the episode bc i kept stopping to write notes, so i'll do my best i guess.

weird thing about me is when i watch shows and write notes for these posts i always write the notes on napkins? i have like 5 different notebooks in arms reach at all times but i really like scribbling on a napkin for the true unhinged effect.

anyway blah blah reminder i'm just a silly dude on the internet, idk shit about dick, i just like to say shit, don't take me too seriously.

also please DO NOT leave novel spoilers in my reblogs, tags, or replies without some kind of warning label. please? it seems to happen with every show i write meta for and i LOVE that people get hyped but there's no way for me to avoid it when it's in my notifications like that.

some before the actual episode stuff; after learning last week that some of the kinnporsche people worked on this it really becomes apparent, especially in the style of the intro.

the music choices also seem a bit reminiscent of kinnporsche (and a little bit of not me) which i really enjoy. it feels kind of familiar and comforting.

immediately i loved how soft this episode started, the slight stubble on each of them, the way joe speaks so softly as if afraid to shatter their little bubble of peace, etc. i also love that the show doesn't skirt around the topic of sex and the fact that sometimes sex is awkward and clumsy, especially with a new partner and doubly so when it's your first queer partner.

and then the peace was shattered with ming kissing his back yet again. ouchies.

"will tong be at the set?" he's just not even trying to hide it. he basically said 'yeah ur great and all but tong????' but DAMN if poom isn't the absolute king of microexpressions.

at this point i can't really tell if tong is being a spoiled prince (derogatory) or if he's tired of acting in general? judgement withheld until a later date.

and then we jump into this actress being a parallel to ming and OOF OUCHIES MY ORGANS. she's a fan of tong but has to "settle" for joe - just like ming. and yet joe takes the time to be kind, to soothe her worries and put her at ease, because he has a heart of absolute gold. "it's her first movie but she was left to drown by the male lead." it's ming's first love and he has been left to drown in it.

mek's acting is really endearing. this is my first exposure to him (ive seen some of his social media and really like what he stands for as a person) and i'm instantly drawn to his performance. he also pulls off a great balance of adorable/sexy.

OOH THE SHOW SAID BISEXUAL OUT LOUD. A WIN FOR THE BI'S WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

i personally find ming's jealously hilarious. what a little caricature of toxicity.

anyway, it seems to me that if ming could get over his feelings and enjoy what he has in front of him he could be part of and enjoy a very sweet family, as it does seem tong IS giving him love, just not the exact flavor he craves.

the cut to joe's training made me laugh. little oat lore dump but my bio dad was actually a stunt man for movies (which is another part of why i was so excited for this show) and i can promise you nothing like this was part of it. what do i know, though, maybe things have changed since the early 2000s lol.

(no, they're probably not any movies you know, aside from maybe wild wild west [1999]. he mostly did westerns, historical docudramas, and historical fiction.)

ANYWAY AGAIN. with this little glimpse into ming's home life we get to see that he's very accustomed to doing what he wants and getting what he wants, which makes a lot of sense when applied to his almost obsessive behavior regarding tong - and now joe. i did absolutely LOVE linin and her sassy independence (minus the 'i can buy anything i need'.)

but... girl... did you just spray perfume in your mouth?

your actions are strange and unsettling. i like that in a woman.

ugh getting into ming venting his frustrations on joe's body. listen. liiiisten. while toxic without prior discussion... i'm into it. it may or may not be one of my favorite tropes in fanfic. toxic and unhealthy as fuck and i'm here for it.

AND THEN DAMN POOM THOSE NOISES. ACTING FOR YOUR LIFE BBY -- and the SNEEZE AT ORGASM LMAAAO oh i hope that's a running bit for some comedic relief.

because we then make a SHARP pivot into "then stop me" and there's so much potential for pain and self loathing there, for joe to think "i can't blame ming, i didn't stop any of it." i'm sat.

a little side bar, but i'm enjoying the fact that while there is discussion of topping and bottoming as a narrative device there really aren't any stereotypes here. i think on a surface level people would think "oh joe is the top" (pit babe style) and the show said no actually he isn't. love that for us.

"you can even move in haha jk" but the thing is, not jk, because joe would do that for ming - for anyone - bc that's the type of person he is.

[i had to stop and have a lil snack here]

hold up is this wut out drinking with them? OH SHIT IT IS. OKAY. it didn't give us much but at least it's a little connection to him finally. we knew joe knew him from his first life, just didn't really know how.

"i missed you" and when was the last time someone missed joe? not who he's replacing or the space he's filling, but HIM?

love ming's goofy ass locking the door and going inside just so he can make a dramatic ass appearance like he's 'the other woman' or some shit LMAO.

"what's in you to make me jealous?" quite possibly the worst dialogue tree choice ming could've picked.

[joe's emotional well being -45]

[everyone hated that]

"don't be so full of yourself" something joe has never been a day in his life. "you're just a stand-in." he knows. it's not something he ever forgets.

but after all that toxicity we have ming back home, seeking out joe's food for comfort, and we finally get to see him interact with his sister. i LOVE that she knows the importance of being a little silly as a treat, one of my biggest life mottos. we also get to see more of how ming is surrounded by love that he misses out on bc of his own wallowing and self sabotage.

oh, the homoeroticism of sparring with your bestie.

[everyone liked that]

oop- joe is wearing the shirt ming borrowed while sol is wearing a shirt with the word 'fantasy.' i'm good, i'm fine, gwenchana, gwenchana.

ough. sol with too many eyes on him and none of them sincere and joe with nothing but sincerity to offer but remains invisible. oof ouch.

enter ming with more religious imagery to match last week's cross scene. something something the sin of greed? confessing your sins? coveting - idk man, i don't have any religious trauma, my family let me just do my own thing.

but with ming knowing joe's true feeling every toxic thing he does is going to be 1000x more painful and i'm here for it. bring it you fucked up little guy.

"we can't mess with each other's privacy" don't mess with MY privacy. "you can't mess around with anyone else" emphasis on YOU, not we.

and then it's driven home what a romantic joe is, both with his workout heartbreak poetry and this little lady and the tramp noodle moment. this man, again much like pit babe, wants to be domesticated so bad.

and i know we all have hated on ming, that's the point, he's been a caricature of a toxic relationship spelled out in neon letters --

but when was the last time ming laughed with someone like this?

ok im exhausted, i'm falling into bed to read fanfic, but i'm absolutely in love with everything this is doing so far. i haven't written anything as in depth as this since last twilight (pre-betrayal) so it's really nice to feel insane again.

[moonlayl]

This...got super long and to be clear nothing I have experienced nor will ever experience will come close to the horrors that Palestinians are facing right now. I just need to say that and make that clear, but these are just things I've been wanting to say for a while now.

Just a thought that came to my head, but I remember arguing with lots of liberals before about how I don't really support the idea that people shouldn't be able to say anything they want (except obviously spreading misinformation especially if you're in certain professions), even hate speech not because I ever want to hear hate speech, but because I can't trust any government to decide what hate speech is, and I was told to give an example

I remember at the time saying "what if one day, me speaking about Palestine starts to become classified as antisemitism or terrorism?"

I was told that was silly and would "obviously never happen" (I didn't believe them and called them naive at the time)

well....looking at certain countries right now, trying to ban Palestinian flags, ban common Palestinian/muslim sayings, ban any peaceful protest in favour of Palestine, even looking at imprisoning/fining people etc.... is kind of just proving my point.

Like most of us don't feel included or part of any western communities even if we're lived here our whole lives for so many reasons and it almost always boils down to us being Arabs/muslim.

can't speak for non Arabs and non muslims, but a lot of us feel this way.

seeing how fighting for the people who need it the most (2000+ Palestinians have been killed. 800 of them being children. 45 families completely wiped out, entire bloodlines, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, children, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, etc....like this is actual genocide. their entire family tree has been completely wiped form existence) is being banned or branded as "terrorism", or we're losing our jobs, or we're being silenced, like it says a lot about theses countries and the governments that run them.

They tried to suspend humanitarian aid to innocent people of Gaza for the love of God!! Thank God there were 5 decent countries who voted no!

Israel gets away with every goddamn crime and ANY "condemnation" of any warcrime it commits is just talk, while they continue to aid and support it.

How am I supposed to trust these governments, and MY government to decide what's acceptable and what's not when I know that during the most critical moments that matter the most, they won't be on our side, and they'll side with oppressors because they themselves are just that? That the little I can actually do for Palestine and any other country could be completely taken away?

These are "democratic" countries by the way, or they're supposed to be, and sure we can challenge all these things but there are things even we can't do. the onslaught of propaganda shared everywhere by the same news stations that refuse to invite Palestinians (and refuse to air the few times they do) and refuse to fact check their content, or report on what's actually happening in Gaza, can't really be stopped. We can do our best to spread what's actually happening, and to correct false information, but the damages have been done.

And its getting harder and harder to hear form the people of Gaza because of the bombs, cut of electricity, cut off internet access, and also, you know, the fact that the people sharing news are being killed one by one.

There's also many social media platforms completely erasing anything about Palestine. suspending our accounts and hiding our posts. I can't believe I'm saying this but maybe it's a good thing Elon Musk took over twitter because at least I've been able to talk about Palestine as much as possible without nay censoring and I'm still able to. Palestinians are still able to share their stories and the reality yon there. And sin't that crazy? Elon musk is kind of doing something right???

And you know something else? Israel killed one of their own journalists, and those people weren't able to properly report on it. They couldn't directly say it was Israel that killed one of their own workers. Like....its crazy (and they're cowards). Israel also killed 12 UN workers.

That crime is not making as many headlines as the fake stuff did. Those "journalists" and "reporters" who repeated false information (that resulted in far too many people believing them and suddenly being okay with genocide) are still working. they still have a job and they're still out there spreading more propaganda.

this post isn't well written because I'm just putting out my thoughts and what I've witnessed but to make one thing clear, I won't ever silence my voice or allow anyone to silence my voice when it comes to something like this, and i'm not afraid of what they'll do, but isn't so fucked that I could actually lose my job and have trouble finding another one for supporting the oppressed? Like isn't that just..disgusting?

Like what's that supposed to tell me other than majority of western countries are against us? It's not exactly surprising because I've known this, but everyone being VERY open about it is kind of tough to witness ngl.

Like this is not a complicated issue. if you have any morals and you're not biased against Palestinians/arabs/muslims already, then this is a very clearcut case. Israel is an apartheid state. Israel is and has been committing genocide and ethnic cleansing for literal decades and its been doing it long before Hamas came into the picture. Israel's war crimes and treatment of Palestinians is the reason Hamas even exists in the first place. you can condemn Hamas while also recognising that Israelis have no right to that land and that nothing justifies their never ending crimes. Palestinians are demanding for their rights ot live, be citizens, have rights and freedoms, and have their land that was brutally taken from them. None of those things are unreasonable.

You know what is unreasonable? the world deciding Israel is suddenly gonna be a thing and expecting Palestinians to just be okay with it. You know what is unreasonable? Palestinians being painted as the bad guys for "not wanting to share" when they literally shouldn't have to (especially because of the obvious scams of all those "treaties" and "agreements" that all gave every benefit to Israel)

Like the whole world literally let this happen and supported it and cheered for it. Some stayed silent but are showing their real colours (which those of us who haven't been blind have already seen) now.

We've got girls crying about how "they want to kill us T-T" at a university campus because people were protesting in support of Palestine, while a six year old boy was killed in his own home for being Palestinian. In the same country.

We've got celebs talk about how scared THEY are while 800 Palestinian children have been murdered.

We've got celebs posting "pray for Israel" while using pictures of Gaza in ruins or Palestinian children looking at rockets in the sky.

It's insane.

We had a protest for Palestine the other day. People were telling us to go back to our country. They were telling Palestinians to go back to their country.

....that's....that's what they want? Like we're very much aware of how much we're not wanted here just to be clear, and Palestinians across the damn globe would do ANYTHING to be able to go live in their homeland. except they can't. Israel won't let them. That's part of what we're fighting for. Any jewish person can go get a citizenship easily in Israel (even if they've never stepped foot in the country and none of their ancestors had either) but people who were born in Palestine or who's family owns property there can't get it in at all. It's absolute insanity.

I'm not sure how to end this but on every level this has been horrific. But despite that, the propaganda, the genocide, the threats, the whole world being against us, that's not gonna stop us from fighting for the oppressed and standing up for them. It's not gonna stop us from going out into the streets and no words can explain the bravery of everyone who continues to stand with Palestine but especially to the Palestinians who continue fighting and resisting (despite everything they've been through). Continuing to use our voices, donating, protesting etc... is the absolute least we can do and its our responsibility. and I truly, from the bottom of my heart wish the absolute worst for everyone who disagree with this. Like you guys are gonna pay for it. Maybe not today maybe not for many years maybe only in the afterlife (because I do believe in it) but it's gonna happen and every Israeli supporter or zionist is gonna deserve every second of it.

If you're silent, if you try to throw the "two sides" bs, and if you try to act like Palestine and Israel are in any way equal, you're included in this.

You're part of the problem.

Silence is compliance.

And screw every government that supports Israel in any way. Screw the double standards, the hypocrisy and the absolute cruelty towards innocent Palestinians.

I can't speak for everyone else but no matter what happens moving forwards, I'm never gonna forget this and I'm never gonna forgive.

I'm gonna keep trying to do everything possible which unfortunately is not much and thats frustrating on every level but I'm gonna keep doing it. feel free to unfollow/block me, but I'm not gonna stay silent about this ever. and I'm not gonna entertain any bigot or zionists either. it's gonna be a straight up block.

my asks are open, and my page is currently full of information, this site is as well, but I'm not gonna entertain those who clearly care very little bout genocide, because if you haven't opened your eyes by now, I doubt anything I say will change that. you're welcome to go through my blog or send me a polite ask (can't promise I'll get to it right away but I'll try) but I'm not tolerating pointless arguments that are basically me just repeating that Palestinian people deserve to live in their own country with all their rights and freedoms while the other person disagrees. I prefer not to argue with those who are depraved.

[solarwynd]

Tbh I don't even care / dislike boycott armys. If you don't want to spend money on BTS because they haven't spoken about Palestine, that's your perogative. Because they're enlisted, that does make a difference for me - maybe others find it an excuse but as someone who doesn't live in a liberal western country myself, I know how things like this work in my country and how vulnerable you can be in this situation, so I don't know how it works in s korea but still I'm giving them some leeway. Also there's just this weird disconnect for me because on one side yeah they're millionaires with a huge platform, on the other side they're currently in the mfing army right now. It feels foul to start tweeting about their privilege from the comfort of my bed in my home - something they currently do not experience. That's just my opinion. Someone else might perceive them to have more power than I do and maybe they're right. I won't say mine is the only right way to think. Plus again it's your money - if you donate more and spend less on merch then that's still a net good imo.

But the whole tone of people remarking on this donation has been completely gross. The way they talk about a genocide the same way they talk about the stupid fanwars that happen on twt everyday rather than with the weight it deserves makes me feel like this is some performative bs. Tweets like the ones some armys and kpop stans make just degrades the whole movement.

If you do have genuine intentions and start making stupid tweets like that, you should really touch some grass, log off twitter and do some more actual activism offline instead of letting twitter brain worms consume you. Acting like everyone's misconstruing what you said and playing victim is also not the move. This is a serious topic so I'd expect tweets related to this to have some actual thought behind it instead of spewing some idiocy as a gotcha because again it looks like you're treating this whole issue like some fandom war and trying to one-up the other side. Click-clack my ass.

Armys always come at BTS crazy during times like this and it’s not because it’s “necessary” since you want them to speak up. It all just comes off as sanctimonious and BTS ruining the perception armys have built around them as stans of them being a bit more conscientious than other k groups. I’ve never had an issue with boycotting in theory it’s just that armys can’t stand behind shit or just go about it the wrong way.

Why is it the minute they don’t perform to your exact standards, all of a sudden they’re low down and evil?Why couldn’t y’all have used Jimin donating as a beacon to rally fans to open a pool or something? And I try not to go tit for tat on things like this, but it’s extremely hard not to when you see proof of all these armys happily buying and streaming golden from last year and have been the main ones making these posts about jimin’s donation.

Nothing has changed from that time to present day. Same with the kpop stans trying to join in on it stanning groups who haven’t said a word either. How do you expect me not to believe y’all don’t have ulterior motives by singling him or BTS out? Now all those accounts have deleted those tweets cause they’ve gotten called out on their hypocrisy and got caught up in how dumb they look getting Jimin dragged over something so harmless. Cause it’s not like he gave money to something inane or inconsequential. He’s helping underprivileged children. Just real dickheaded behavior from that person.

Now considering how a member has close ties with scooter, making a statement would come off as hypocritical. I know in the grander scheme of things, what’s needed and what’s important is the awareness and I’d take it as such. But denouncing Zionism with a Zionist so avidly in the mix still wouldn’t be a good look. Which is why I feel like donating would have been the better option. It’d be much more substantial helping out with funds/materials imo because those are things Palestinians desperately need. But I understand that it’s not on the table since they’re in the military.

[ultimatebottom69]

Trump won

now. I see some kind of campaign to recount the votes and frankly yeah go sign that shit but hum.

This is about me for a second. Yes the filthy European. Well. As I said last night before passing out drunk. Palestine is fucked. Keep giving donations and all but you must know too right.

Abortions rights ? Well i hope you didn't like women.

Trans rights ? Doll there was already barely any. He gonna snuff that shit out.

The economy ? Oh baby 2016 eletric bungaloo remix. But you all knew that.

Suicide hotlines ? Over crowded as all learn the info as usual.

Immigrants rights ? Basically snuffed.

Police brutality ? Oh you thought George Floyd would be the worse they ever done it ? Think again.

My respect for this country ? None. I respect only the people I talked to.

My hope for this country ? Doll. The whole world watched with bated breath, we sent our whitest blond woman journalist to do the fucking job and you voted...For Nazi Orange. Again. No words.

You know when I was 12 and Obama was still the president. I remember loving the USA. Grand houses, cool movies, the music culture as I always liked pop, the diverse community how all you were so much more detached and free then me in my little France.

I remember at 13 to learn English because I wanted to go to the USA. I wanted to be able to talk to my idols. In 2017. I got called a racial slur in Orlando. It was also my first time being cat-called while my dad was right there, I mean I always got stares but bro was whistling and shit while my whole family was there. I loved Disneyland, loved the whole thing except for this two very weird encounters. I mean I am very light skinned and didn't know such word existed and my step mom who is a black woman didn't tell me what it meant when I asked her. And it was to me who it was said by the way because it was a little blond girl who said it while staring into my soul.

I learned that day that I was a black woman. That my light colored skin contrary to any had thought had offered me no protection whatsoever.

Which is funny because I am the lightest in my group and I got called a white woman a lot by them only it's our little rascist jokes between us.

But in the USA I get treated like the "Bad Hombre" as Trump called them. I get called a "Niggay" by the white folks.

And funnily enough this experiences although very defining did not stop me from making it big in the USA I thought I just had to not go to orlando and i'l be fine...

And then George Floyd happened. I then watched real life documentaries about victims of police brutality. BLM happened.

I saw people that looked like my grandma and uncle getting shot at as if they were just fucking cattle.

When Biden got elected I thought "Maybe if the democrats win again...I can forgive them., I can go there and see their world and drive for an awful 8 hours when I barely wanna drive for 30 minutes hahaha."

And...Well...Trump won. He did. By a large margin I am CERTAIN there were tampering in the election as usual.

But...The fact is. He fucking won. Despite the whole world watching. All of us were quietly hoping for you all to show us. Progress what the USA stands for.

Diversity

Freedom

Dreams

And you vote for the man. Who extinguished the most dreams I have ever seen. You vote for the man who made me re-think every respect I ever had.

You had the chance to make a woman president. After the first black man president in the western world you could have had the first woman president.

You could have gained all the respect you had ever lost back. To the people who voted at all, bravo for trying. To the people who didn't vote PER CHOICE...I have nothing to tell you except you could have done something.

I won't even dwell on the dumb fucks who voted third party. Just vote for Trump at that point it's the same the whole world has been telling you this for 8 years now.

But back to this. The American dream is dead. I dream of nothing more but for the USA to stop being everyone's burden. I don't want to go to your country. I don't want to know anything right now.

Are we a joke to you ? Because USA you are the ehole circus right now.

I am gonna go focus on something else since clearly the hatred was stronger then the Hope. This isn't even a joke the USA has a true problem and if I need to spell it out well too bad.

I hope Drag queens will keep existing and that is that.

Have a pleaseant day tbh. I have no words. I won't try to tell you that there is hope or whatever. There is none. Your fate has been sealed. In fact many fates right now have been sealed. I can see in real tiime how many lives are about get snuffed because Harris didn't win. I am not here to tell you to have hope. I can however tell you Good luck and get the fuck out.

You have like 3-5 months before it really starts to be a shitshow so if you wanna move out or had plans. Move to Europe as a whole.

I am not even angry. I am throughly disapointed. In about 8 month France will feel the wave. Gaza ? Pfft. I'm going to keep donating and reblogging.

To the mutuals who voted. Thank you for trying. I hope you stay safe and are white looking enough for the upcoming times.

[sassykinzonline]

Going off on a tangent (I’m lowkey obsessed with your blog so now I’m going to yell my thoughts at you)

I get so disappointed at the lack of any lore drops between Naruto’s heritages like obviously the uzamaki’s were exploited and basically had a like genocide (Karin’s backstory had me so fucked) and maybe it’s to show how normal it is in shinobi society to just brush anything under the rug when it comes to genocides and systemic issues which duh but I wish I could’ve seen more nuanced stuff like diaspora between the few survivors of lost clans, how they survived or heck how they try to preserve their culture.

Idk maybe I’m not making any sense but as someone who has like no ties to my origins (AA, especially growing up to ppl denying AA culture and how AA culture gets sold) I wished I saw that kind of relatability in Naruto since he himself is basically separated from his culture and didn’t even know who his parents were I feel like that could lead to some like deeper stuff. I feel like Naruto would try to preserve his cultures and clans (he does in way ig in boruto but I barely seen that anime and that’s a whole other discussion with how clans are treated)

And in a way I guess it’s the most realistic part of Naruto like yea the ppl in charge might give a nod in acknowledgement of how they were bystanders and that the system failed ppl (if they even go as far as to accept that) it’s just to make the ppl they exploit/ed shut up and be happy that they were even seen in the first place (working class, blm, Palestine, Native Americans etc)

But god do I wish Naruto dived into the isolation of the lack of culture or even the lack of your own ppl can have.

first of all thank you for your support and engagement, it gives joy. feel free to yell at me whenever, i have a naruto so im used to it.

this is also something that used to upset me and now just frustrates me. i technically wasnt the last uchiha until after the war, but itachi and i couldnt communicate, madara cut ties with the clan, and just like me obito left the village as a child. one of the worst things about the genocide was this crushing anxiety of "what will become of our history?" i was old enough to have pride in the concept of "uchiha" but too young to have a meaningful understanding of it. and i guess deep down thats what contributed to my steady depersonalization and increasing franticness-- i knew there was really nothing i could do to preserve my clan so at least i needed to preserve their honour (and this was also why i understand itachi's reasons for not sharing the truth).

all this to say, my heart breaks for naruto because he doesnt even know what he doesnt know. and like you said, thats mostly a function of how konoha chose to operate. i still dont understand why they couldnt at least tell naruto about his mom. i dont understand why jiraiya didnt come back to teach him sealing. but i do know why and its because the shinobi system works best if you dont see yourself as an individual first. everything you are and have needs to belong to the state, and if it doesnt, then they will eliminate it. konoha took advantage of the genocide in uzushio to essentially traffic their women and then say there was "friendship" between the two villages...then do nothing to preserve the uzumaki or uzushio history. disgusting.

youre making sense. ive actually thought that naruto's case is similar to children from asia who were trafficked and brought to western countries post-war, completely removed from their culture and often neglected and abused for a culture they couldnt even own. i think the uchiha are a bit similar to african americans given the systematic lack of consideration for contributions to the development of society, the war between respectability/assimilation and self-determination/anti-discrimination, and like you said the commodification and demonization of culture. and i do agree with you about naruto, but i think it also helps him sometimes. for better or for worse hes...simple. he doesnt think too much about things he doesnt know, and that helps him get through his days with less of a load. he does have his bad days, where hes...lost, but if he were any other way he wouldnt be naruto. luckily the boruto versions of us arent real, but even then i think they make sense given what they were trying to accomplish with that show (ie. dumb down everything for the Manly Men who didnt get what was happening the first time).

when i was traveling after the war i did try to do some preliminary investigation into existing uzumaki refugees and diaspora, but it was a bit difficult though due to their history. ive been thinking about putting together an extended campaign and mission for us to reunify the uzumaki, for his birthday. i just need to figure out how best to go about it. keep it a secret between us.

[haleigh-sloth]

I'm sorry for the vent but I had to get this off my chest.

One of the many things that are annoying me about the people complaining about "so-called critics" is that they're either hero stans, dudebros, shippers (esp B*D* shippers) or Bakugo stans. And the latter genuinely annoy me the most. Like yeah so sorry that your fav was saved through the efforts of pro heroes TWICE and even got an awe-inspiring comeback and got to Save his childhood hero™. Yeah you ofc don't care about the story and think we're just being bitter over nothing because AT LEAST YOUR FAV DID NOT MEET A TRAGIC AND MISERABLE END!!! The hero who we thought would die saving you was instead revealed to be doing fine! See he's even growing his limbs back! Ofc you think your fav did not murder a villain (who mind you was pleading for Afo to give back Tomura) because *gasp* my boi can do no wrong!! And even if he were killed so what? Kurogiri's dead anyway! No point in saving a corpse! Instead let's focus on how Deku never ever acknowledges Bakugo for dying twice for him (OH HOW DARE HE!!!)

I do think deku and bakugo might have a talk about this next chapter. Hopefully maybe.

It's insulting how they seem to think we're viewing this story from the perspective of "Western lens" which is utterly baffling and stupid?? Because not everyone is western and our criticism is from a story telling perspective (hello?? themes? narratives? they do exist ya know). We're not someone to disrespect Japanese culture because I guarantee you we're not like that. Like honestly if this story wasn't so insistent on the whole "saving the villains" then we wouldn't be upset. If the manga didn't have Deku say "OFA is a power meant for saving" then we wouldn't have been so hopeful for months (like at least I would've known not to expect anything happy).

Oof....nail on the head.

Also. Let's be clear. When people try to divide the fandom by saying "western" and "eastern", what they usually, typically mean is AMERICAN. Maybe Europeans are lumped in with "western" also (because most of them they're not eastern culture), but honestly the commentary I see is mostly catered toward Americans.

Which I'm not gonna tell people to not make fun of Americans because lmao. Fair.

But acting like Japan is this enigma of a country for having conservative-like values regarding family units and societal expectations and that nobody outside of it, especially on the western half of the hemisphere, can possibly relate to it is just stupid. Would like to remind that other cultures that are vastly different from the US and share a lot of similarities with eastern culture are on the western half of the globe, idiots.

Not gonna dwell on the details of east and west. This isn't a "east" vs "west" issue. Yes there are people who do not take cultural contexts into consideration, either through simply not being aware or not bothering to research/hear what the contexts might mean. I personally do try to do my best to read what might be normal for Japanese people in the situations portrayed in the manga so I'm not wondering wtf is going on or why.

Disliking this ending has nothing to do with disrespecting Japanese culture. Todorokis for example: sorry but abuse is abuse. Hating the ending the Todoroki siblings were portrayed having is completely fair. Doesn't matter where you're from. Where I feel people need to start understanding why Hori might do something differently, or just shut the fuck up otherwise, is how he handled Rei in regards to her relationship with Endeavor. And the kids toward Endeavor. But saying "damn, that finale is fucking depressing, none of them look happy, there was no emotional release or anything, just damn" is not saying "fuck Japanese culture!" Like lmao.

There were plenty of people explaining that MHA is commenting on aspects of Japanese culture. Explaining how. Also, MHA is not the only manga that does shit like that. I also don't think saying "Wow these character arcs that were strongly hinted at going one way falling flat on their faces and going straight to hell is really shitty writing choices" is saying anything in regards to Japanese culture.

Also insisting that anyone who wanted the villains to be saved is disrespecting Japanese culture or opinions or whatever....I would like to ask where the fuck they think these tropes come from. Naruto says hi. Among others. We're not pulling these ideas out of thin air. They exist, WITHIN THIS MEDIUM, already. And MHA heavily resembles Naruto as is. So yeah. Idk, I'm not really reading anybody's bitch fits about the critics because I don't care. If they're happy then good for them. I'm not, and I'm not gonna pretend to be. I'm not trying to convince anybody to be mad with me. I'm really trying to make my peace with the manga and tell myself it's fiction, I can draw an ending I want later when I have the energy and motivation. I'll learn to live with it. If anybody has an issue with that then, well, they can argue with a wall.

[abbatoirablaze]

Locked Up, Chapter 8

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: attempted rape, condescension, slapping women, violence, abuse of power, maiming someone.

“You been sneakin’ round on me, girl,” the mid-western warden drawled out as his silver eyes panned up to the CO.  She shivered under his gaze.  He removed his focus from the bare mahogany desk as he looked at her, the smallest of smirks playing on his lips.  Viv kept a straight face and an even straighter back as she sat still in the chair opposite the wardens, trying to pretend that she hadn’t just shivered in front of him, “well?  You gonna say something, sweetheart?  Or just keep sitting there like a dumb little slut?  Don’t get me wrong, I love it when you’re quiet…but usually it’s cuz my cock is shoved down the back of your throat!”

“Lee...I-“

The chair squeaked as he leaned back; his firm belly muffin-topping over the tight uniform as he fiddled with his pockets.  He was quick to pull a lemon candy from them before popping it in his mouth and throwing the wrapper in the small aluminum bin beside himself.  He shook his head, the hard candy clicking into the side of his cheek as he started in on her, “ah, ah ah there, Viv…you don’t get to call me Lee…not when you’re going around fuckin’ the likes of inmate Jensen!  Right now, I’m here so you can get your just desserts sweetie.  Give you the extra dicking you so clearly need to keep ya in line…and who knows…maybe I’ll let ya keep this one if it sticks.”

“Come on, Lee,” Viv tried to scoff, brushing past the statement of the abortion he’d forced her to get a few months ago.  She rolled her eyes, hoping that he didn’t read too much into how stiff she really was, “Jensen?  Where the hell did you hear those lies?”

Lee sucked on his teeth, and Viv caught the candy rolling over his tongue.  His eyes held no humor in them. No. 

He was pissed. 

She could read him like an open book. 

And she knew that she wasn’t going to get away with it.

“No?  Must a been mistaken’ then, right?  I mean, I heard it from a few sources…then I pulled surveillance in the wing…just for chuckles…but you know what…I found exactly what I was lookin’ for,” he clucked, shaking his head at her, “Nothing.  I mean, it’s kind of funny the camera goes dead quite a bit when you start evening rounds…and from what I know the only people that can really black out the cameras is your little boyfriend and our IT department…and I doubt they’d let you get away with fucking an inmate…even if your other little boyfriend attempted to pay them off.  Because we both know that little prude in IT, Jenny has a thing for me…and boy would she live for the chance to rat you out…but you see…it wasn’t just Jensen’s cell…was it?”

There it was. 

The coup de gras. 

He knew about Ransom.

But she tried to shake it off, another scoff falling from her lips, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lee…”

“It’s Warden Bodecker to you, you dirty little slut,” the warden growled, throwing his hands down on the desk.  Viv jumped, being caught off guard as he glared at her, “I should do so much more than what I’m going to….I should punish you the way a little harlot like you deserves.”

“Lee-“

“It’s Warden Bodecker, DAMMNIT!  GOD DAMMNIT VIV!  I put myself out there for you, Viv!” he growled, cutting her off, “I let you run this place without saying boo because I thought hey…if my little queen wanted to run the castle, why the hell not.  But I see now you’re just an attention depraved little whore who fucks anyone that looks at her sideways.  And you need to be put in your place once and for all.  We’re done playing these games, Viv…”

“Lee…please…you-you’re scaring me…”

He scoffed and snorted. 

Lee Bodecker was nearly off the rails as he hovered over the CO, “LEVINSON!  YOU’RE FUCKING THAT ANIMAL NOW TOO?”

“Lee-“

“SHUT UP!” the warden spat, backhanding Viv.  She stumbled backwards into his bookshelf and slumped against it, “I thought I put you in your place when I took care of the bullshit with Jensen.  I got you off that troublesome block only for you to start shacking up with the first monster that looked at ya.  Ain’t I enough for ya, Vivian?  Why do you want to go fucking those inmates, huh?  You feel bad for em?  Or I just ain’t put enough cum in your belly?  You want knocked up that bad?”

Her head stung and she reached up to touch it.  Hissing, she pulled away to see the red tinge on her fingers.  She was ignoring everything that Lee was saying, her only focus on her head, “Shit…”

“That’s nothing.  You know damn well I can do much more than that, you little slut,” he growled, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to her feet, “now get on up, girl!”

“Stop!” she wailed, begging the warden.  He pushed her hard against the wall; her back hitting it with a thud, “Lee!”

He backhanded her again, cutting her off.  One hand reached down and he started on his belt buckle, “Shut the hell up, Viv.  I’m ending this once and for all…gonna put a baby in you today…and tomorrow you’re putting in yer resignation and quitting and I’m movin’ ya in to my place.  We’re done playin’ these little games.  I’ll have you barefoot and pregnant waiting on me to come home every night…and you’ll straighten up and pay good little housewife instead of red-light whore on the corner!”

But their little entanglement was cut off by the sound of the power in his office going out.  The dull sounds of the facility around them became deafeningly still. The hum of the AC died, and the air filled with a muggy tension. 

Then the red-lights came on. 

“Lee…”

His eyes snapped to hers, “it’s a riot, Viv…god damn it.”

A siren wailed in the distance and Lee pushed himself away from the CO.  Instantly he was forgetting about her, buckling his pants back up and moving towards his desk.

“Lee?”

“Shut up, girl,” he growled, shooting her another quick look, “right now we  gotta deal with this…but afterwards I’m following through on my promise and fucking some sense into you.”

“I-“

In a few short steps he was hovering in front of her, a deadly look on his face, “You got something to say?”

“No Lee-“

“Sir!”

A few tears slipped down her cheeks, and she shook her head, “sir.”

“Say it!” he growled, grabbing her jaw in another quick movement.  He forced her to look at him, “you tell me you ain’t got nothing to say…and you say it right.”

“I-I don’t have nothing to say, sir.”

He held her jaw so firmly that Viv started to feel a pain in it.  He sucked in his cheeks and watched her for a second, before releasing her, content with the answer, “Good girl.  Now get yourself put back together.  We have to get to the armory before these animals break free.”

“If anyone’s an animal, it’s you, warden!”

Lee Bodecker snapped in the direction of his door, where a behemoth of a man was lit up by the red emergency lights. 

Lee’s breath caught in his throat, fear pulsating throughout him.

Ari Levinson. 

He stepped inside the room, and the shadows moved away from his face, allowing Lee to see that Ari was beyond pissed.

“Levinson…get back to your cell, inmate…”

Ari smiled, “it’s not going to work like that, warden…you and I both know what’s going on in your prison…we both know that you aren’t calling the shots anymore.”

“Well…looks like Levinson came here for his little slut, didn’t he?” Lee taunted, shooting a look over to Viv, “though, I wonder how he knew that you were going to be here.”

“So you know that I came up here to get Viv…the real question is what is your response to that?” Ari asked, “there are a few ways that this can play out, Warden…”

“Oh…you’re giving me options?” Lee chuckled, “that’s rich…get back to your cell and maybe I forget this whole little rescue plot happened.  Maybe I don’t throw you in the hole and lock away the key!”

“You won’t do that!” Ari smiled, “you won’t get the chance, Bodecker!”

“Inmate…I will kill you if that means maintaining the peace…”

Ari chuckled, “I’d love to see you try, Bodecker!”

Lee eased away from Viv and back towards his desk, “you know…I could make things very hard for you at this prison, Levinson.”

“Thought you were going to kill me, Bodecker.  Or throw away the key once you threw me in the shoe,” Ari smirked.  Then he shot Viv a look and his smirk faded away.  She’d had drying blood at her temple and a split lip.  His rage continued as his eyes slid down her body to see her uniform shirt was torn open.  His eyes snapped back to Lees, “What the hell were you doing before I got here, warden?”

“Ari-“

“Shut up, you little slut!” Lee growled, cutting Viv off.  He’d put more distance between himself and the inmate before continuing, “What I do in my office is none of your business, inmate!  Especially not with my property.”

“She doesn’t belong to anyone!” Ari growled.

“That little whore belongs to me, Levinson…not the other way around?”  

“I’ll deal with you in a second, warden,” Ari spat before turning his attention towards the CO, “Are you okay, Viv?”

“Don’t you say a word to him, CO!” Lee commanded, another murderous look being shot her way, “Levinson, back out of my office now…I don’t want to use force, but I will.”

“See, I get the feeling that you really want to use force,” Ari smirked, “and looking at what you obviously did to Viv…I want to use force too!”

“Lev-“

But he didn’t have time to get the words out.  Ari launched himself at the warden, his fists flying in a fury as he heard Viv scream behind him.

Chapter 9

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

[articalextraordinaire]

hi guys, sorry for dying lmao. anyways... do you guys want some ninjago ethnic and cultural headcanons??? (theyre almost all east/south/southeast asian btw // srry if u wanted more central/western asian rep.. caucasus dont count theyre too european /hj)

Arin: y'know the fact that there's like a ton of different tribes in papua new guinea? yeah, maybe one of those but i don't wanna be disrespectful so i'll do more research first before fully commiting. other thoughts are timorese or other indigenous groups from/near eastern indonesia.

Sora: look at those cat ears and try to tell me that she is NOT japanese. just- cmon man. plus, imperium is like a futuristic imperial japan or a futuristic version of that time the tokugawa family was in charge and locked down the country.

Lloyd (as well as the entire FSM bloodline): either tibetian or bhutanese. FSM just gives some budhist vibes so yeah. this isnt going to be about religion but religion does kind of affect ethnicity and culture so it does have a very minor role in making these headcanons. nepali works too but nepal is kinda nore hindu so yeah..

Kai and Nya: indomalay. mostly the indo part.. like- cmon, fire and water, indonesia is an archipelago with a shit ton of volcanoes (philippines too but we'll get there, sandali lang muna ;) ) i cant get into specifics cuz im not too well-researched but yeah. also, vibes 👌

Zane: siberian or he's from one of the islands extremely north of japan that japan and russia keep on disputing over. purely because of geography and ✨vibes✨

Cole: mixed black latino-filipino. as a filipino myself i wanted to make someone filipino =). since a lotta people were making cole black, i thought that i might as well make him mixed <3. plus, the philippines is also a former spanish colony so it just makes sense. if you want a more specific country, either colombia or the dominican republic are cool. not very well-researched on the different latin american countries so if anyone wants to tell me the most appropriate country for cole pls let me know 🥰.

Jay: umm, i sorta have a dillema over this. im thinking either korean or he's from somewhere in the gobi desert like mongolia or inner mongolia (its a province in china btw). korean bc the entertainment and beauty industry as well as the student and work culture kinda fit him. but somewhere in the gobi desert is nice bc the desert is where he grew up. maybe he's korean but grew up in a mongolian-chinese environment but yeah, im not too sure about him 🤷‍♀️. im leaning more towards korean but yeah, not sure.

Wyldfyre: i um... this was very hard. first of all, she's not gonna be asian since i couldn't find a good enough area in asia and well, im pretty sure she's not from ninjago so she doesn't have to be asian. so, i got maori in northern new zealand but 1. i know nothing about the maori people 2. it might be disrespectful to portray them like that. and 3. er, the geography is kinda off. where she grew up looks very desert-y and volcanic. i think a more suitable reigon is in south america towards the coast like peru or chile but um i know even less about the those reigions than new zealand. plus, it has the same first 2 problems i listed earlier. (yes im ignoring her clothes for these headcanons srry guys my brain loves topography too much) TLDR; idk man shes too hard to sort out lol. it adds more to her mystery and chaotic energy anyway so yeah.

if u know more abt latin american countries, pls give me pointers so that i can have more accurate headcanons for cole and wyldfyre. i can do my own research for kai, nya, and arin but any help with that is also very much appreciated 👍. peace ✌️

(this is what happens when u become a geography nerd... im not at my full potential yet bc my latin american knowledge and all of africa knowledge sucks. but yeah. bye fr this timeee)

[fredseibertdotcom]

THE WATT WORKS FAMILY [1990 catalog]

Download THE WATT WORKS FAMILY at Scribd

This WATT catalog is 35 years old, maybe in the age of the internet, their last one. 

Working with Carla Bley and Michael Mantler was one of the great inspirations of my young work life. Which is probably why I’ve posted a number times of some of their work, from the time I worked with them and afterwards too. 

Why am I so interested? Carla and Mike were perfect models of talent, sure, but also resilience, perseverance, determination, and blind, stupid, confidence. We first became acquainted after I crashed a recording session for Carla’s ‘operatic’ Escalator Over the Hill, which they financed themselves, and out of frustration, released and distributed themselves on JCOA Records. which eventually spawned the self determination of the New Music Distribution Service and WATT Works, a label for their continuing works. 

When I bumped into this 1990 catalog from THE WATT WORKS FAMILY (by then with bass/composer stalwart Steve Swallow, daughter/composer Karen Mantler [and her cat Arnold], and distributed internationally by ECM Records) I was struck, not only by the sheer volume of personal, completely –can I emphasize completely?– independent work, but also the sheer value of creating this work self sufficiently. It made me suddenly aware of why I felt they were so influential to me. 

Are there any other musical composers who’ve succeeded in getting their music recorded with no outside creative interference? Who, because of that complete independence, were able to experiment –often successfully, quite a few, not so much*– across such a wide range of the possibilities of their music? And think about it, what composers have you ever listened to who were completely unafraid of reaching beyond the box they were put in (’jazz’ in their cases) to artists that had the unique talents, and not for nothing, commercial possibilities? (Their records have spanned the Western world of contemporary music... from the jazz world, Don Cherry, Cecil Taylor, Pharaoh Sanders, Charlie Haden, Larry Coryell, Roswell Rudd, but also Linda Ronstadt, Jack Bruce, Robert Wyatt, Don Preston, Terry Adams, and of course, I’ve left out dozens of others.) 

Let me stress, it was unbelievably hard for them to hit those accomplishments,  no one can say that success is easy. But, it is their very independence that gave them room to try. You know what they say... “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

.....

From the introduction: 

Now the truth can be told. The WATT recording label is not the idealistic, uncompromising, visionary creation of two young revolutionaries. No, Michael Mantler and Carla Bley started WATT, almost 20 years ago, to make money. 

Like all musicians, they assumed that once the world got to hear their unique individual styles, fame and riches would follow. So they slaved over each new release, always sure that the latest one would sell millions.

Carla went through many phases. After realizing that no one was interested in hearing her zany capricious fantastic amazingly intricate concoctions for large assortments of weird and wonderful musicians, she tried to write simple little songs for small, boring groups of anonymous hacks. Mike, on the other hand, stuck firmly to his grandiose style, turning out gaunt tragic forlorn bleak emotionally distraught masterpieces, certain that someday his music would pay off. 

Finally giving up all thoughts of ever cashing in on their own efforts, they formed an·auxiliary company, XtraWATT, and started looking for young talent to exploit. The first sucker that they stumbled upon was Steve Weisberg. He was definitely young, and ready to work for nothing. It wasn't difficult to recruit 20 other desperate musicians to play on his album, I CAN'T STAND ANOTHER NIGHT ALONE (IN BED WITH YOU), by promising to pay them lots of money when it came out. 

Next to fall for the XtraWATT scam was young veteran jazz bassist Steve Swallow, who, desirous of getting his collection of overkeening faux-negre soul ballads recorded, handed over his life savings to Mantler·to cover "expenses", and even agreed to call the album CARLA.

But word of the racket got out, and no one else could be found who was willing to record for XtraWATT. In desparation, Mantler and Bley forced their own child, Karen, to learn a few chords and simple melodies. They even tried to train their cat to sing the resulting ditties. (Most of those efforts had to be replaced by unsuspecting teenaged humans, but the album was still called MY CAT ARNOLD, to avoid paying royalties.)  

In spite of Mantler's greedy misdoings (word has it that Bley is just a pawn in his game), his victims still adore him, having nothing to compare their music business experiences to. Even Weisberg, who has confessed that he has ambitions of someday graduating into the clutches of a big-time criminal at a real record company, is embarrassingly grateful.  

Naturally, the entire WATT/XtraWATT family was honored to go along with his latest plot. Hopefullly, some nice journalist or salesperson will notice how interesting and valuable the music is, and persuade the public to finally fork over those dollars! 

.....

*Some reviews, taken from the catalog: 

“…the finest examples of progressive large ensemble work written and recorded in America in 1975.” –Downbeat 

“This record is a real dog.”  

“It’s delightful.” –Melody Maker 

“…the least listenable record I have ever heard.” –Melody Maker 

“Everything Jesus Christ Superstar should have been and isn’t.” –Changes 

“This is a record which all rock musicians as well as general audiences should listen to with care.” –Rolling Stone 

[sirduck48]

Bad news, I came up with some more Duck headcanons for you to ramble about! *casually dumps them in your lap*

-Duck has an autographed photo of the city of Truro (well, technically truro’s crew signed it.) in his cab from when Truro visited the island.

-after the RWS book, Duck and the Diesel Engine was published, City of Truro sent duck his own fan latter praising Duck for his bravery and quick thinking and said that Duck is the very model of the GWR. Duck almost popped his safety valve after seeing the letter, now everyone teases him and says that he has a celebrity crush which he denies, but he’s definitely one of Truro’s biggest fans. Actually, it’s not uncommon for engines to have celebrity crushes on famous engines, they could care less about human celebrities unless it has to do with their world, and human accomplishments don’t mean much to an engine, so it only makes sense for them to look up to other famous engines (don’t tell anyone, but Spencer secretly has a celebrity crush on Mallard and would destroy his safety valve when he sees her.)

-people started leaving Duck bread as a joke which annoyed him, he had to politely tell people that no, he cannot eat bread so stop trying to feed him bread. Now people give him frozen peas.

-Duck’s favorite book is a bear called Paddington for obvious reasons.

-while he was trying to teach Casey, my OC the Great Western Way ™, he let Casey shadow him while he did a run with his slip coaches and failed to explain Casey what even slip coaches are, Casey being a goods train only and never seeing slip coaches, thought that the coupling links had broke and shunted all the coaches after Duck before any of the passengers could get off thinking he was helping. It wasn’t until Duck finished his run when he realized what Casey had done and flew into the rage. After some deliberation with the “Little Western Council” (it’s not really a council) they decided to banish Casey from the Little Western under the terms that if he sets one wheel on their branchline from here on out, there will be repercussions. This was overruled by Sir Topham Hatt who made is very clear that he makes the decisions and that the “Little Western Council” has no authority at all.

-why the slip coaches didn’t say anything to Casey? I don’t know….

-in my human AU, he has a little old terrier and a cat. He will sometimes petsit Toad’s Hamster.

-Duck is a city boy, he grew up in the city and found it jarring to go from a bustling city to the more quieter and rural island.

-every Christmas Donald and Douglas’s mom would send him a knitted item, he has a nice sweater collection.

-a fan once sent him a Jeremia Puddle duck plush. He now sleeps with it every night.

-Thomas once received an ostrich egg from one of his pen pals, Nia, (Nia never came to Sodor in My AU, Thomas met her during a RWS anniversary tour and they’ve remained good pen pals.) he tried to see if maybe an ostrich egg would cook over Duck’s engine whistle since the chicken egg obviously didn’t work and the ostrich egg has more mass meaning that, according to Thomas, would theoretically not boil so quickly and explode. Unfortunately, Duck stopped Thomas before he could actually boil the egg, Thomas was holding the egg over the whistle and Percy had his hand on the whistle, but nothing came from it and Thomas had to resort to making a very big omelet with his ostrich egg. Probably a good thing too since an ostrich egg would be a nightmare to clean if it were to explode.

That’s all I have for now, here, have some bonus fanart

Why is that bad news? That is good news, I love rambling about things.

I agree with the first and second headcanon. Duck definitely almost popped a safety valve when he saw the letter, and his whistle blew so loudly it nearly blew everyone's ears off.

I think that Duck can eat bread. I have this headcanon that engines can eat, it just goes into their firebox. Duck likes bread, and frozen peas.

I definitely agree that his favourite book is Paddington. He has the same etiquette as Paddington, and the fact that he worked there also adds to his enjoyment of it. I also love Paddington, and personally prefer him with his black hat (I still love his red hat, but his black hat is nostalgic to me)

I read about the Casey fiasco with the slip coaches on your account. I think that this is a very good idea, and very good episode material. I'm not too sure why the slip coaches didn't say anything to be honest. I love the idea of a Little Western Council, and I also think that The Fat Controller lets the council have authority over the Little Western in a second in command kind of way. The Fat Controller still has first hand authority, but he does take suggestions from the council into account.

Those are nice pets for Duck to have. I headcanon that Duck is very independent and doesn't have pets. He still loves animals though, especially ones that are less favourably received by some, such as bugs and snails.

This headcanon is why I find differing opinions so riveting, for my headcanon is the complete opposite. Duck is a country lad to me. Being from Devon, he loves open spaces and nature. While he doesn't hate the city, it can get too overwhelming for him sometimes, and he much prefers to go bird and bug spotting in the countrysides and woods.

The Christmas headcanon is a really nice headcanon, and I think that Duck sends them all some fancy attire every Christmas as well.

Oh he definitely sleeps with plushies, and a Jeremia Puddle plushie suits him really well. I think that he sleeps with a duck, frog and pumpkin plushie as well.

Duck would absolutely not allow Thomas to boil an ostrich egg on his engine's whistle. Why he allowed his driver to boil an egg on his whistle in the show is beyond me in all honesty. I think that he didn't want to do it, but his driver did it anyway. I also think that he firmly reprimanded his driver after he did it.

That art looks very natural and very good. I love the blended, natural look of the landscape and the ducks look very realistic. I love how the flowers provide flickers of bright colour amongst the mix of murky, foggy, oaky and grassy hues. I also love your Duck and Diesel design, Duck looks a bit gritty and jaded (in a good way) and Diesel looks sleek and sleazy (again, in a good way).

This is all just my opinion.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 14, Episode 5

This one is just. They didn't have to do this for us but they did. They really did. 😳

I am kissing everyone who thought this angle was a good idea directly on the mouth

Nothing could've prepared us for this strength reveal. Matty in a tanktop again with such an awful pitching form. Ethan's super wide stance and the fact that he really thought he could catch up to it. That ball doesn't even touch ground in the park, and Matty completely knew this was coming, maybe he was hoping he'd take it easy on them this time.

You can also hear a clocktower go off here, and I'm not sure if it's signaling 2, which means Gary should be making his drop (I wanted them to arrive at the same time to keep everything on schedule but the fact that they're just playing ball while Gary is at Percy's to kill time is funny to me), or if it's a generic gong to signal the hour

don'ttalkabouthistitsdon'ttalkabouthistitsdonottalkabouthistits Matty has really pretty hair I really like it when it's this long

You really thought you were gunna get that one huh champ, it literally disappears into the distance, these are nowhere close to the fence

The first shot is actually slightly longer in the extended ep and I only noticed when my subs didn't match up to Hulu's version (what I'm using for this series), and that's the only change to this whole scene. But this convo is so important, this whole time Matty has just been bragging to cops about Ethan's murder and now he wants to actually know about it, be trusted with that information other than 'yeah that happened'.

And it would be so easy for Ethan to keep lying as he's been doing, just twist the truth enough to keep them away from his reality, but he doesn't, and even though it's just them playing baseball together for the fun of it instead of having this convo on the river or at the 707, that makes this scene so important to me I had to write it twice in my fic, one for the dialogue and one for the baseball, but both so intimate in their own way, I knew I couldn't do it any other way

don'ttalkabouthiscakedoNOTtalkaboutthecake

The shoes! I was finally gunna talk about the shoes! And then I looked up and realized that his undershirt is over a bit too much and he's flashing us just the teeniest amount and my brain turned to radio static again 😵😳😵

Okay I'm back, but the shoes! I love his shoes so much! Look at the heels on those things! And he has them in white too like these are just his favourite brand of shoes! I was trying to find out how tall he was and imdb said 6'1 and out loud I went 'no he's fuckin not' cause he's shorter than Johnson in all their scenes with the heels, and his are like very thin on his own boots, so some wires are getting crossed here 🤔 but I know that no matter what he's still taller than me and that's all that matters

Anyway everyone needs to appreciate Matty's fashion, I know Johnson eats with every outfit like the vest in this ep is so damn good but Matty with his western arrow shirt and his fancy belt and then normal jeans and thick-heeled shoes are just 😚👌

ohmygod he's so cute and impatient give him a second to grab the ball ;w;

I wonder if they talked about it in the scenes where Ethan wasn't around, cause in canon he ditches them to talk to Doris more than they're ditching him to make out so they still get time to talk alone offscreen, and again this is the first and only time Matty questions it. I feel like Johnson already has some doubts since the subs make him say or instead of yeah as a full mock, like he already has that good a read on him that he knows something might be up even if Ethan has only ever said it in fear and full confidence, a big difference than my fic for once since I had him say it in order to help Ethan speak more easily.

I would seriously pay for an entire show just with them, split season 2 into them and then everyone else lol just gimme every single second possible with them please

Finally, Ethan tells the truth, as detailess as possible, but still, this is what happened. Matty and Johnson looking at each other instead of him during this is interesting, I wonder if they've already gone over the little details he'd shared before so this is Matty confirming his own thoughts and Johnson wanting to again get right to the meat of it, just like when he was talking about his mom, he always manages to do this when no one else can

Yes, Ethan! Question it! Tell them everything and have them still accept you because they like having you here even if it doesn't make sense! The entire time they're not even looking at him, they're going over the possibility that he heard wrong and he isn't a murderer, he doesn't have to be here because his life is still safe. Maybe Matty was already having doubts on Cop Night when the cop didn't get the APB so he's been talking to Johnson about it, and still all this is changing nothing

(Matty's hands are so constantly moving I'm in love with him)

'Do you regret running away, finding us, being here? If you could go back, will you?'

Okay Ethan, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I need you to look them in the eye, then look me in the eye, and tell me personally that it was Meredith who made you feel less alone. I need you to tell me that your crush on her was more important than them accepting you no matter what, and wanting you to be there with them regardless of the answer.

Look at them. Even if he's not a murderer they want him there. He's their family already and it only gets stronger. Johnson knows it without a shadow of a doubt, this is just his confirmation. Matty knows it and he's so happy, this is another thing he believes in, Ethan trusted them and even if there's doubts about the murder there is no doubt about Ethan belonging there, with them, as a Phoenix

No Matty he wasn't going to take it easy on you guys after the heart to heart, you gotta go find that or buy more that's the Johnson Guarantee you signed up for when you let him grab the bat

This is the face of a man who now gets it, and he still told Meredith she was the one who made him feel like he wasn't alone, so I'm going to start believing that that was pure desperation in the face of the barrel cause these men love him so unconditionally it's not even me reaching anymore

And then this was the last time any of them were happy ;w; Ethan learns how it feels to be truly loved, and then instantly learns what fake love feels like again from someone he trusted ;w; ❤️💙💛

[ananke-xiii]

Lately I've been giving a lot of thought to the concept of "work" in spiritual journeys. When I first read Gurdjieff years ago I was taken aback by the fact that he equals transforming and knowing onself to actual work. I was like, no, it's not possible, work is work, spirituality has nothing to do with it. And I was fucking wrong.

Even just LEARNING about the tools one MIGHT use to start THINKING ABOUT evolving on a spiritual level is exhausting. It's work work work work. It's punching the clock. It's discipline and energy and time spent on studying and listening and meditating and doing other practices. It requires EFFORT. Tons and tons of it. It can be tiring. You will be tempted to stop many times because it's not gonna be pretty. It will get worse before it gets better. You'll cry a lot. More than you can even imagine. Your dreams will be vivid and you'll start experiencing reality in a different way. And people will abandon you and you will abandon people. And then you'll cry some more.

So yeah. Gurdjieff was right. It IS work. A different kind where you don't work for your boss or your clients or the state or whatever. You work for your soul. With your soul. To meet and say hi. And it takes your everything.

I'm not saying something new here but it became clear after maybe one WHOLE year that this kind of work is not compatible with the "8h of work, 8h of play, 8h of sleep" mentality. Ofc, this mentality doesn't even apply under "normal" circumatances so it shouldn't even come as a surprise. And as I said, I'm not discovering a new continent here: the "otium" vs "negotia" debate is as old as Western civilization as we (like to) know it.

To further complicate matters let's imagine that what many spiritual teachers have been telling us is true: humankind is stuck. Its evolution has stopped. Collectively we have managed to reach the third chakra. And we've not even been particularly successful at that. Therefore the key is to work in order to evolve and reach the fourth chakra. The heart chakra.

Symbolically I think this is why society is so in love with the idea of Love, cause that's the goal and we've been trying to reach it for millennia and failing (because we are looking for an object, any object, to love and that's not the point, the point is always. always the connection with others).

But the thing is.

The thing I've realized today is.

To BE ABLE to Love. To be in a condition where Love comes easily. Where Love flows from you effortlessly. To be able to open your heart.

You need rest.

And fucking tons of it.

Rest not just as in "sleeping" but as in "being in a relaxed state". Which is a flexible state. A state where lines can be more easily crossed and bridges are not needed cause lands touch each other and oceans meet and greet. A state where connections can happen.

(now I understand why one of my teachers recommended TWO naps per day. A crazy thought for me until I tried to take at least ONE. Life-changing experience. Also: not feasible)

To be able to Love Like That, rest is necessity. All "The Work" , all the effort you put in lead to that. We NEED to learn to fucking rest.

And so we're back to square one. "The Work" and "work" seem to be incompatible. Because what "The Work' teaches is basically how to rest your mind. What "work" does is instruct your mind to see life as divided into different time-slots: there's a time for duty and a time for rest and they are separate and must be kept as such (even if it's not factually possible because the 8-8-8 rule is an ideal and not a reality). There's no flow, no flexibility, only separation.

And because rest is a necessity in order to open the fourth chakra, one might almost say that taking the time to know oneself is an endeavor that's only possible for the people who have the means to do so. People who can make the choice of not "working" for a great variety of reasons. Still, people who HAVE THE POSSIBILITY to choose.

After all, in ancient Rome otium was something that only the aristocracy could afford.

So: even if the whole world benefits if only ONE person puts in the effort to know themselves, it will not be enough for a collective evolution. 'Cause it's the "collective" bit that's missing.

That is to say that "work" as it's currently conceived in our patriarchal capitalist fascist society ACTIVELY works AGAINST the opening of our collective heart chakra.

The "constant growth" idea was already laughable and counterintuitive but under this light it is finally shown as a big fat lie and a great danger.

So what can we - normal people needing actual jobs - do if we want to open our heart?

I don't have a solution. I can only share what I've been doing and what I was taught which is:

do something (meditation, practices, reading etc) every day for at least 2 minutes. It's a very small amount of time to dedicate to oneself and go inwards. It's also not a daunting task: it's interstitial, in-between all these ideal 8-8-8 hours, it's a promethean act of rebellion but even better cause it's small, undetectable, unpunishable.

don't drink alcohol, don't eat meat, avoid sugary stuff: I didn't believe it to be true and I understand the recoil because I suffer(ed) from a lot of issues related to food and alcohol. But yeah. It helps. A lot. These are some of the most rebellious acts we can do today.

pay attention: observe yourself and your surroundings. If you're unsure, don't say yes or no; say you'll think about it. don't talk or TALK LAST. listen listen listen and listen. Silence is one of the most powerful tools we have.

spend time in nature: which just means pay attention to nature around you. we live in nature, there's no separation. even in the greyest city you are IN nature. You can see the grey clouds. You can hear the rain or the wind. There will be a tree or even one patch of grass somewhere. An insect. A bird. A rat. Roads and buildings are made out of mountains and rocks etc. Water comes out when you turn on the tap.Just observe these things and listen: there are stories to hear.

breathe breathe breathe breathe! pay attention to your breathing. there are many free resources online or even apps that can teach breathing techniques. Maybe it will be uncomfortable at first but you just need to do it for 2 minutes, remember?

this isn't how I started. I took a different route and it took me more than 5 years to realize it was actually this simple. It's simple but it isn't EASY, I know. However, it actually works because these are small ways to reclaim our time as ours and be present in it. Actually living it. Two minutes of meditation there, a little tree-watching here, some shutting up and listening over there, drink more water etc: tiny acts of connection everyday until one day you realize that the door to your heart was always open for you. You just weren't aware of it.

[the-nysh]

Time for some in-depth trigunbookclub notes! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ First story arc 'episode': vol1 ch00-04~

A bit of a late start but I'm planning to reread the series again with the overhaul translation, hoping to catch what I might've missed the first time around vs Dark Horse's. Paying attention with more informed, detailed thoughts and impressions from the perspective of already knowing what happens later in the story. Special thanks to cerealandchoccymilk's translation notes comparing to their japanese copy for additional clarity!

Flipping through these pages again, and gosh I'm already surprised at how much information's densely packed in here! (I...may have miscalculated how long these commentaries might take...) I've already made some notes for the opening ch00: 'High Noon at July' prologue, and I'm not sure how far I can sustain this same level of detail (maybe I'll surprise myself), but for now I'll try to focus on what else I can observe and talk about from the manga's first official story 'arc' - which lasts for the first 3ish chapters, corresponding to the 98anime's episode 5: 'Hard Puncher.' Stampede actually begins with this same story arc in eps1-2! :O In short, about the town suffering in decline from their malfunctioning Plant problems, desperately in need of money that Everyone (citizens, hunters, and outlaws alike) chases after Vash for the huge bounty on his head, until the Nebraska family shows up to escalate more trouble.

Yup, that's where the manga's story begins, as ch4 already speeds right on through to the Sand Steamer arc! (After a 2 week timeskip) Which the 98anime adapts later in ep7, and Stampede ep6! :O So the pace of the early manga is considerably much denser and faster, with plenty of details to note in between.

After the prologue sets the tone--ominously post-disaster with human survival and hope, ch1 opens with the iconic shot of Vash's Wanted poster. Many people have already noticed the...unusually vague and contradictory bits of information on him. So much is 'unknown' (note: Dark Horse lists an unknown birthplace while overhaul lists an unclear appearance) and yet...he's suspected to be the 'murderer' of someone with a fancy alias, as a 'young' (est age24) horrible killer who's also a pacifist?? 🤔 (How does that contradiction work out?) Who's believed 'capable' of mass destruction...and yet, there's nothing really conclusive he's indicted with here. Most of it feels like unconfirmed rumors and hearsay, so what's the actual truth? Who is he really? There's the additional tonal whiplash of seeing his ~smiley smiley~ easygoing (and old western themed) mugshot in contrast to the prologue's (sci-fi) bleak & desolate shot of a city that looks eerily destroyed by a post-nuclear bomb, released or shot from a clear direction leveled at ground zero. Something disastrously huge happened here to account for that ridiculous sum of $$60 billion on his head, with way more missing info than the suspicions he's listed for. Something doesn't add up here, so that's what the rest of the story's about--for us to find out~

First impressions of actual manga Vash (just from this introductory arc alone)....and he's a cute & silly little guy! :'D Whose attention is sharp and alert (he's definitely no idiot) to his surroundings sensing danger, with quick reaction times and even quicker resourceful fingers. A little odd and creature-y; how does he move that way and get himself into so many ridiculously contorted pretzel upskirt positions?! (Ahem: Nightow gives him all the 'fanservice' shots so the women don't have to; I respect that~ Hey, and why do the 4 buttons on his coat's collar keep mysteriously unbuttoning away in the breeze like that too, c'mon!!) Very animated and openly emotive with range, from the uwuest sad puppy eyes ever seen (accentuated with pretty corner lashes~) to flipping into irritation as someone who's not above using petty sass to make his points either. Oh he cries, both blubbering to himself about his own misfortunes and empathetic to others' pain, and oh he gets angry with dialed up severity too. And yet...he's a nice guy (who's gentle and considerate with women!!! 📣 with none of that 98 weirdness shown here at least, and easily makes friends with kids; all these are good signs) with an aloof air of mysterious distance, like he's a tired, traveling loner. Who seems like he'd just happily prefer to keep to himself out of trouble, simply trying to enjoy his meals in peace...until people rudely inconvenience him or interrupt his day with violent guns blazing!! D: Oh my god what an upsetting life (everyone's so mean to him~) give this poor guy a break with some actual Rest and peace please!

More in-depth thoughts from chapter 01: 'The 60 Billion Double Dollar Man' Immediately the setting is a very lawless, harsh place to live. With daily injuries and murder cases galore, where violence is so commonplace that even kids yearn for their own guns someday (wow D:) People might be cold and inconsiderate to others, cause everyone has it Hard here--everyday is a struggle, but the biggest telling observation -to me- is that no one is evil. :O Everyone presented this arc simply does what they must to survive, that resorting to violence (without malice) simply becomes a necessitated choice or way of life for many. :') That, in itself, clues me in that humanity is not evil, despite how it may appear. (I'll continue this more.)

I say this because the group of bandits who violently open fire on Vash in the diner, aren't there to hurt anybody else--they're only after his bounty (nothing personal), and in fact they assure the waitress they'll even repair the damages with that money later. Vash Notices(tm)~ Creatively resolving the situation thru non-lethal distraction, attrition, and his de-escalation + marskman skills using a child's toy. (So you see kid~ real guns aren't needed to win and save the day~) And I'm glad the overhaul translation made it clear the group volunteered giving up all their clothes & weapons to pay for the diner's damages as they concede defeat (that was...nice? of them), rather than simply walking away in humbled shame. Cause in the Dark Horse tl and old anime I didn't quite understand why they all suddenly stripped like that (to Vash's uncomfortable surprise: he didn't make them or expect they'd do that gesture either.)

We get some of our first classic Vash lines! yay~ Dark Horse kinda awkwardly botches his purple-prosey way to express his ongoing quest for 'Love & Peace,' so overhaul sounds more natural and faithful to the 98anime here: "[I'm a] hunter of peace, who continues to chase the elusive mayfly of love." (as opposed to a 'peaceful hunter' for the 'dragonfly' of love...which doesn't make much sense, since dragonflies are the hunters Dark Horse pls) Because striving for peace in this violent land is hard, and love itself (not necessarily 'romantic,' since familial and platonic kinds exist too) is as rare, short-lived, and precious to find here as a mayfly's tragically short lifespan...:') Man...

The whole thrifty 'price of one bullet for [insert any amount of food]' joke, cause whether pizza, pancakes (he ate those in the 98anime here), or donuts, his point still stands that choosing more food to live is more important/valuable than buying more bullets for killing & violence~

Violence which! He reasons that since no one likes to receive pain, he's decided to avoid any casualties. Apparently Dark Horse has the more accurate tl here, as it's about 'receiving' it: "pain isn't something anyone likes, right?" over rhetorically asking whether anyone can forgive 'doing harm' (overhaul). Because just SAYIN, as someone like him who personally KNOWS pain and what it's like to receive it etched all over his body, of course he'd feel awful and project empathize when others get hurt too. Never wishing they'd come to suffer the same as him. As long as he can help it, never again--whether that's to the pacifist level of preventing, stopping, relieving, or taking their pain upon himself in their place. But perhaps only lightly alluded to though or maybe I'm reading too much into his awkward sweating closed-off expression, since even he can't fully explain it yet; all the pain and scars of his past and the reasons why he refuses to kill aren't fully revealed yet~

...Oh my god, and we see our first official Plant bulb - which is so utterly bizarre to see it standing so bare and 'alone' surrounded by what amounts to only a roadside gas station & diner in the middle of nowhere. We know a single Plant can sustain a whole town..so why...it's almost like it was only recently 'dropped' (off the 'ship') or discovered as still active that civilization hasn't had enough time to properly settle around it...hmm.

But it marks the resting stop and first official appearance of Meryl & Milly! YES!! The girls show up in ~chapter one~ and are here to STAY, as important characters from beginning to end! 🎉 Meryl arrives with all the aura and swag of one whose larger than life ~presence~ belies her small frame. She's here for a reason, determined on a mission with a job to do, and has no time of day (she seems used to it as one who's experienced much of this before) for men who won't take her seriously or who make vulgar jokes at her (their) expense--thank you Milly's giant stungun for the karmic slap in their stead; don't dismiss, disrespect, ignore, or overlook these ladies, now!

I love that the moment Meryl's told the whereabouts of Vash, along with the wise advice to stay away from the current danger in that city--BAM she's already heading out the door (ditching Milly and their meal order?!) Reminds me how in the 98anime she ditched Milly in hot pursuit jumping off a tower wearing a parachute--like HELLO? Meryl pls! But here THEY'RE OFF~ on their way while Vash is...ulp, welp he's in trouble. :'D

Chapter 02: 'Looney Tunes' More worldbuilding's revealed to flesh out what we first glimpsed in the prologue: it's been over a 100yrs since humans crash-landed onto this desert planet and built up cities around the fallen ships, closely dependent on the viable technology brought within them. The first (!!) time the name 'Vash the Stampede' made history was once one of those major cities--lost July, was wiped off the map. Links are connecting, especially if he was deemed the prime suspect responsible for its sudden, unexplained destruction. The prologue said this disaster happened in year 0104, which matches being over a hundred years since humanity's 'arrival,' but just how long ago has it been since that incident? For Vash's name to build that notoriety for his bounty? For him to remain dangerously at large, yet uncaught, like a mysterious urban legend humanoid 'bomb.' The narration implies it's been a while for his story to be 'passed though the ages,' but we shall see.

But no time to ponder about that, because immediate tonal whiplash! Current Vash is in trouble and distress, running around dodging bullets, grenades, and the silliest cartoony hijinks imaginable for his life. Since after those first few guys in ch1, now the entire town knows who he is to be after his bounty too! aaaa~

Meryl & Milly are already here! (urgently, in hot pursuit to do....?) Meryl's pissed at how carelessly the town's handing all the chaos, as if they're all childish fools unknowingly playing with a nuclear warhead set to blow. (So interestingly, that's her first presumption about Vash; she's likely done her homework on July's historical disaster report.) Scaring Milly so much about the imminent danger (this town could be the next to explode!) that Milly stops, deciding she doesn't want to go anymore. :O Ah!! This interestingly reveals Meryl's likely the braver, more headstrong leader of the two, who seems to know what she's doing. Which is...wait, what does she plan to do here, exactly?? AAAAA!!! Bringing a megaphone into a warzone--alright, silly silly silly. She's SO silly, but so brave. And reckless. :P (Go Meryl~) Actually I like that she sees everyone here as humans first, who--she thinks, can still listen to reason even riled up in a mob. But even with her most ridiculously polite and ~formal~ way of speaking, you guessed it: the crowd pays her 'request' no attention. :'D (aaa! she's ignored; much woe and irony~) But whatever she has to say is so important that Meryl's determined and desperate to have her voice heard!

While wondering what on earth these two insurance ladies can still possibly hope to achieve here, now that the situation's chaotically escalated to the point the town chairman's called in the Nebraska family to pit against Vash...I'd say, in contrast to the town's many unsuccessful, over-the-top bombastic methods to catch him so far, I find it...very interesting that the ones who actually silently corner Vash (at gunpoint) are a room full of women. :O Interesting, very interesting~ (It seems the women in this story are the ones who can effectively get shit done~ So Meryl & Milly? Let's have faith to see what else they got~) As armed mothers, sisters and wives, prepared to do whatever it takes to get the money needed to save their kids and town from dying. So remember what I said about how none of the humans shown here are evil? Cause these women, and this whole town really, are just trying to survive (while resorting to violence); everyone has their own reasons to be after that bounty, with no personal malice towards Vash himself. :')

Vash of course, sympathizes with their terrible plight. And holy shit they said they lost 50 Plants?! (that's a shitton! D:) How is he holding himself together so well--ah, he is forcibly holding back his tears. :') BUT he's doubly conflicted, because he asserts he cannot afford to stop (as in, getting captured or killed) before he sees 'Him' again. (We know who that is, as there's only one stabby guy that could be.) The 98anime dub happened to mistranslate this line as 'the guy you're after' (who, the waitress!? she doesn't even know who [redacted] is!) so I imagine the subjects/objects were vague enough in japanese for that mistake to happen. Still, there's nothing else to really imply what Vash intends to do when he sees 'him.' Is it for revenge or something else he plans to do? It's unclear, aside from how clearly Vash gets angry and serious when it comes to 'him' (bonus: yes as suspected, Vash uses 'ore' as his personal pronoun like in the 98anime when it comes to topics about 'him' I'm glad to see those jp scans to confirm) That it must be something so personal/sensitive/grave enough that he realllllllly doesn't want to resort to shooting a room full of women when he's cornered (don't force him!!! pls he's already begging them not to make him do this), so that he can escape and continue his quest without dying early here. Whew... Fortunately no one has to make that difficult decision yet, because (unfortunately) the Nebraska's rocket fist breaks that building tension...and literally the entire room first.

Uhoh? But surprise!!! Vash is unharmed, gently holding the same waitress who'd just aimed a gun at him before, and somehow he managed to write a sassy "kiss my ass!!" returning message on Nebraska's fist--MULTITASK ahoy! (Also where did Vash grab that marker??? hah who knows~) But Milly's so worried at this point--and smothering Meryl from seeing anything, that 'bomb-kun' (Vash) has been provoked enough to explode! lmao :P (but will he?)

Chapter 03: 'Hard Puncher' Once again I need to appreciatively state just how gentlemanly and careful Vash is with these injured women; he fishes them out of the rubble and carries them all out to safety, one by one. Even Nebraska patiently waits, chilling there smoking a cig, for Vash to finish! They may be a notorious, haughty, and highly destructive family of outlaws, but see even the Nebraskas here aren't evil. :O Even when Vash moves away from the women to make space (and this is different from how the 98anime did it) Nebraska still faithfully aims at him, not them. But Vash needlessly dives forward to bodily shield the women from the exploding debris anyway! :O (In the 98 anime Vash was far away but Nebraska aimed at the women to force a lesson on him to make a choice, here interestingly not so; the women aren't helplessly made targets like that.)

Nebraska finds Vash's behavior odd, cause this is a duel - a quick draw match between a gunman and a cyborg's flying rocket punch (Nebraska himself is only after the bounty too for his own reasons; nothing personal.) So with Vash's own survival on the line, why would he continue to risk harming himself to protect others? Nebraska finds his actions wanting to save everyone hypocritical, and the Dark Horse tl seems to make more sense (closer to the 98anime's lines), when his reasoning's about 'his turn' to either be eliminated or become, either directly or indirectly, the killer (aka kill or be killed, even the choice with the whole trolley problem) when the time comes faced against an opponent who gives him nothing but trouble someday. So if Vash has survived this long unscathed (just think about him emerging from the July rubble...) then someone else must've already died in his place before (or so Nebraska thinks, he doesn't know Vash tries to find other creative ways to win without casualties, and gloats that today is that turn for Vash to die~)

But then...suppose Vash has killed somebody in his past before (remember the prelude about July 👀), wouldn't his choice to change and practice no-killing now be an active improvement over that - as a measure of growth or atonement? And not the same 'hypocrisy' Nebraska means? It'd become that way if say, Vash broke his current philosophy once it becomes impossible/unsustainable to uphold, and he had to kill again someday (as a choice, orr...forcibly no choice as even the women who cornered him this ch almost forced him a tough decision he didn't want to make) despite everything---ahhh, so then what does Vash plan to do when he sees 'Him' again? If Vash chooses to kill him then...whoopdeedo, Nebraska's hypocrisy point will be made. But anyway...

It's the first time we see Vash don his glasses when it's time to ~Get Serious~ for shooting a quick draw match (vs a rocket punch--note again, how Nebraska only aims for Vash, not the women, unlike the 98anime.) And here, Vash is still faster than his opponent!! Unloading multiple bullets that force the fist to veer off-course and miss him~ While aiming to break the cyborg socket of that arm for good measure so it can't be punched again. Interestingly a male citizen says Meryl's lines from the 98anime expressing awe understanding now why this skilled man is called 'Vash the Stampede.' But manga Meryl has none of that identity crisis confusion; she already knows who this Vash is and is determined to get right down to business!

Which is....? Calling for everyone to stop the fight!!! oh but it's already over~ I'm marking this moment down as the first time Meryl & Milly make eye contact with Vash--them awkwardly yelling from the rooftop of a building with the same diplomatic intent in their methods as Vash, by wanting to resolve things peacefully!!!!

BECAUSE!! Oh, you thought the girls were only here to be a slapstick comedy duo? SURPRISE!!! THEY WERE HERE TO SAVE VASH ALL ALONG!!! ;A; That important 'thing' that Meryl was so desperately trying to announce to everyone this whole time--but could never get her voice heard, was that Vash's bounty has been officially rendered null! Void, invalid, zero! Everyone had only been fighting, trying to shoot him dead, and destroying their own damn city for nothing! AHHHHH!! (I totally understand your anger/frustration here, Meryl--an authentic and capable short woman's struggle to be listened to and taken seriously! UGH! ;o;)

[But that's curious--why so suddenly NOW, or er, yesterday, did the government decide to call off his bounty? This is so sudden, and it's only in the first story arc too! Pretty sure his bounty remains active for much longer in the 98anime before his status changes later. So what was the most recent occasion or reason?? Especially if it'd been years since lost July happened to build his bounty, why is he only declared a natural/localized disaster--like that of an earthquake or typhoon, now? 🤔🤔🤔 As someone who can't be compared on the same level as other human criminals--wait, then hold up: how does the government, or the insurance company really, intend to 'control' or contain him then? By sending out two women?? To deal with the most dangerous non-human category risk alive?! Who sent them out here expecting them to make contact and negotiate or die trying right in the line of fire! Ahem.]

For what it's worth, Vash looks the happiest he's ever been seen so far, rejoicing that ~HE'S FREE~ from that marked life of running from everyone who comes after his head. :'D No more bounty to worry about means peace for real, right? Well not so fast!!! The girls are still here with a job to do. Bernadelli's 'typhoon' insurance premiums payouts are probably pretty damn huge to cover for all his damages all the time so...to prevent needless, costly risks and disasters from happening, they're here to ensure Vash doesn't get himself into any more trouble...by keeping him under their close watch: 24hr vigilant surveillance! 8'D (so he's not freeee~)

Considering how Meryl compared his risk factor to that of a nuclear warhead before, she's pretty damn bold and fearless!!! To waltz right up in his face, poking a finger in his chest, and offering him a gorilla grip of a handshake to officiate their first 'meeting' doing business with him! (Damn, girl!) Dark Horse's tl appears to be more accurate when she describes him having a 'chronic troublemaking disease' too. :P Hah~ She keeps her face tightly composed and 'professional,' but if she's this 'comfortable' to be in his 'dangerous' presence then...looks like she at least regards him--Vash the person, as human too. :'))

But instead of two insurance agents containing him for the benefit of their company and/or the government, it's more like Vash has gained two women bodyguards who're here to fend off any provoking or untoward attempts on his person. 😌 Anyone who doesn't like that and still wants to pick a fight with him (whoa mr Nebraska's not done yet!) can pack it up and go home!!! He's officially off limits! Back off, show's over! hahaha~ Cause the girls are armed (non-lethally! now doesn't that nicely align with his values) to defend themselves. He's quite a bit shook~ ;D

Chapter 04: 'Bang Bang!' starts transitioning into the Sand Steamer arc, but there's some aftermath details to note.

There's been at least a 2 week timeskip (Meryl says they've been here for over half a month) and the town's financial situation has been resolved thanks to the bounty on the captured Nebraskas covering for their needed money instead. (Ironically in Vash's place.) Vash's wanted posters are also starting to get torn down, since his bounty no longer applies. Meryl clocks Vash as an unbelievably nice/soft hearted person for offering the town all his credit and bounty money earned from taking down the Nebraskas himself. (Technically the girls subdued mr Nebraska at the end, but how sweet and generous of him~)

Still, since it has been a quiet 2 weeks without incident (what's happened in between now and then is anyone's best guess or anime filler territory~ but he HAS been a 'good boy' staying out of trouble if nothing's bad happened, right?) that Vash rightly has to wonder....just how long do the insurance girls intend to stick around him?? No time limit, or until their term ends, huh? D: Oh...well that's going to be a problem. (Knowing his lifestyle and quest to find 'Him' again...yeah, Vash can't settle in one place for too long, or risk those getting too close to him lest they get swept up in the danger...) Welp, since the Steamer's arrived, that's the perfect opportunity to begin his leave.

Hah! Meryl's so high-strung and on edge that Vash has suddenly ditched them, she rescinds her previous 'nice person' comment, thinking he's only playing 'nice' and innocent now to trick them and slip away. I...think she's jumped to some conclusions (cause while he is clever and skilled, his kindness isn't fake or trickery) just like Milly thinks he's transformed into a cat. :P

So relax, the Steamer doesn't even leave til tomorrow, he's only ~discreetly~ gone to reserve his spot, he's stayed here the whole time since they first met without randomly leaving them, and it's not like him (or at least, his manga self that is) to leave town full of his new friends made these past 2 weeks without saying goodbye yet, right?!

Cause he's already befriended Tonis! (Stampede reference! Rosa's name was also listed among the fallen women he rescued from the rubble.) And I'm pretty sure this kid is the same one who had that toy gun! He's totally a Vash fan now~

Also to note: it's the first time we see his travel duffel bag and cloak, and one of the Steamer's caravan guys keeps heckling Vash to hire him for their security. So much for him trying to keep a low profile. :P What's funny is that the insurance girls--with jobs, seem to have ran out of money these past two weeks while away from their office branches, yet Vash's 'finances' appear to be fine, even without the reward money he gave away.

I reckon that if the town has offered Vash free food in exchange for the generous blessing he's offered them, then I'm sure they've likely compensated him enough with means to pay for his passage on the Steamer, too. I mean hell, they've thrown him a whole lively going-away party tonight! While even going the extra mile to call in some expensive looking 'working' girls for his pleasure! :P

Now everyone and their mom has commented on him feigning drunken sleep as his way to 'politely' avoid it and turn them down. Apparently the original japanese line has him wondering whether it's a 'waste' (the 98anime has him wondering whether he regrets it a little) as depending on your interpretation, he could mean his choice (celibacy) is a bit of a waste when the chance is offered so freely, where he knows it's better that he shouldn't do/risk it despite how much he's possibly starved himself longing/craving for closeness, OR that he feels it's a bit of a waste for the town to have invited those nice girls all the way over here for the one thing he just can't give so easily (acespec lens). EITHER WAY, there's at least 3 narrative reasons why he'd choose to avoid getting too close/intimate with people like 'that' (for now): 1) his dangerous lifestyle--it's not safe to risk others he cares about; his distance protects both sides from further harm, 2) his scars--can't risk revealing those or their reaction to what he 'is', and 3) lifespan--uhoh spoilery, but still hurty for the gap between him and them. So he chooses lonely, sad boi hours in the dark... :'))

But what about the light? Check out what Meryl does during the party: sitting there watching him the whole time wondering about his ~mysterious~ ways. Even after another guy casually sits next to her wondering what she's doing. :P Her attention's still fondly on Vash. (MERYL I SEE YOUUUUUU!!!!) Especially after thinking he's a nice person, to thinking he'd ditched her, to seeing how he is now--having such a lively, open, rambunctious time welcomed among the town's celebrations. That the other guy supplies it's a wonder too--that Vash is getting along so friendly now with the same people who previously shot at him wanting him dead. :'D How accepting, how forgiving, how things change~

Final Vash notes on the Steamer: he still just wants peaceful alone time and Rest, despite how much others--like the caravan guy again, keep pestering him. :P He washes his hands after using the restroom! (Good etiquette!) And...his first pair of glasses barely lasted two chapters before they broke. :P Welp! He's off to befriend another lost 'stowaway' troublemaking kid...as the girls work their fare on board, blissfully unaware; just what can possibly go wrong~