#i know nothing about one direction

[chaos-has-theories]

Fuck it this is a masterpiece actually

--

The Three Mathematicians

Once upon a time there was a girl who was really fucking bad at maths.

She hated maths soooo much that she never did her homework even though she was already failing her class.

One day her mother was chewing her out over not doing her homework when Niall, lead singer of One Direction, passed them on the street.

"Why are you shouting at your beautiful daughter?," he asked.

The mother was embarrassed. She didn't want to tell the lead singer of one direction that her daughter was terrible at maths.

"It's because my daughter is too good at maths", she lied. "Every day she wants to do maths homework and nothing else and we are running out of paper."

"Oh wow," said Niall. "That is very impressive. Well me and the boys have a lot of paper and I am very impressed by a girl who is so beautiful and so good at math. She should just come live with us and do maths all day."

So the girl left her awful mother to live with One Direction.

On the first day in One Direction House, Niall gave her a large stack of paper and said, "If you fill all of these with maths I will marry you or I will send you back home."

Then he left, leaving the girl with all the paper.

"I don't want to do maths," the girl cried. "I hate maths and nobody can do that much maths in one day. But I would like to marry Niall and I don't want to be sent home."

Just then, three old women stuck their heads through the window. "Did you say you have to do maths?"

"Yes," the Girl said. "Who are you?"

"We are the three mathematicians," the women said and came inside.

The girl stared at them. The three mathematicians were REALLY UGLY. One of them had a huge head. One of them had really bad cross eyes. The last had weird dents in all of her fingers.

"We can do your math for you," the three mathematicians said. "But you'll have to invite us to your wedding."

"Yes please!" the girl cried, and the three women sat down.

The one with the cross eyes read the numbers out loud. The one with the huge head told them the answers. The one with the weird hands wrote them down.

After an hour, they were all done and left through the window.

"Bye!" they said. "Don't forget to invite us to the wedding!"

Then they left.

"Wow!" Niall said when he saw all the maths. "You really are beautiful and great at maths. I am going to marry you."

One the second day, Harry brought her an even bigger stack of papers. "If you do all of these maths today," he said, "I am going to marry you too. If you don't we'll send you back home to your horrible mother."

He left and the girl cried again. "I don't want to do the maths!" she said. "But I want to marry Niall and Harry!"

Again the three mathematicians showed up. "We'll do your maths if you invite us to the wedding," they said. And they did all the maths in one day.

On the third day, Louis brought her even more maths and told her to do them. On the fourth day it was Liam. On the fifth day Zayn brought so many papers they filled up the whole ROOM. "This is never going to end," the girl thought. "Even if I marry them I'll have to do maths all the time."

But she didn't want to go home to her horrible mother, so she still asked the three mathematicians for help.

"Wow," the guys from one direction said when they were done. "You are beautiful and great at maths. We all love you, so will you marry us?"

"Yes!" the girl said.

They got married.

At the wedding, three old women showed up. One had a huge head, one had really bad cross eyes, and one had weird hands.

"Woah," Liam said. "Who are you?"

The girl had remembered how much the three mathematicians had helped her. "Those are my aunties," she lied. "That's why I invited them."

"Okay," the husbands said.

During the dinner, they sat next to the old women.

"By the way, why do you have such bad cross eyes?" Zayn asked the woman with the cross eyes.

"From reading numbers," the woman said.

"Why do you have such a huge head then?" Louis asked the woman with the huge head.

"From doing maths", the woman said.

"And why do you have such weird hands?" Niall asked the woman with the dents in her fingers.

"From writing down answers."

The musicians looked at their beautiful wife who they thought was great at maths.

"You should never do maths again," they decided.

"Okay," the girl said, secretly happy.

And she married all of one direction and she never had to do maths again.

The End

ALSO I am super stressed rn but nonetheless spent last night writing a modern adaptation of "The Three Spinners" as badfic. Honestly forgot again until now

[fisheito]

He's a magician

[galactaknightyaoi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GALACTA KNIGHT!!!! And congratulations to Meta Knight for experiencing the Cain Instinct for the first time.

Galacta Knight, as you might've been able to tell already, is one of my favorite characters, and KSSU is one of my favorite games (the original SS was my introduction to Kirby!) so I wanted to go all out. Happy day, old man. I pray for at least 20 more years.

Oh, and don't worry! He's not upset about the cake smash, he thinks it's funny. And he got back at him.

As for the in-universe explanation for there being 16 candles in his cake?

... 500+ didn't fit in safely.

The birthday boy and his family were just a bit too flammable.

[die-tenebris]

don't wanna derail the post I saw this discussion on- it was all in the notes anyway, so it certainly isn't op's problem. I'm gonna say this with so much love:

Calling somebody a 'theyfab' is not punching up. If someone's being transmisogynistic, say that, or call them a bigot. Naming the tangible harm done to you will always be the most effective thing to do.

The cis people who created that term made it with the explicit intent to mock and insult people's identities. No matter what you mean when you say it, this is its origin and to most people, its only meaning. It describes nothing about the discrimination you face.

People afab are marginalized, especially if they're queer. You cannot "punch up" on a fellow oppressed group. I understand the specific vitriol that they inflict on you hurts.

You don't need a word to call somebody, you need and deserve adequate justice for the tangible harm done to you; and my heart aches that nobody queer- especially trans women- ever seems to receive that.

I'm aware I can't make anybody do anything, so I'm not gonna try to tell you not to use that word. I just want to say it can't ever address, undo, or heal any harm done to you. It can only redirect it.

[dykedvonte]

Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.

I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.

This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.

The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.

It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…

The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.

Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.

And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.

Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.

At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.

This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.

Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.

[flying-cat]

I can't imagine being anywhere near as insane as Trump supporters because my dad told me that he, earlier, drove past a guy putting a "Harris Walz 2024" sign outside his house and decided to yell out at him "TRUMP 2024 YOU COCKSUCKER" and flip him off. And he laughed when he told me because he thinks that yelling at a man (emphasized man because he thinks men should be "better" than women, and "better" would be voting for Trump in this case) who is voting for a "whore who slept her way to the top" (his exact words) is funny. And expected me to laugh with him. And got angry when I didn't and just stared at him in disbelief. Even though he already knows that I don't like Donald Trump. These people fully expect others to find their weird ass derogatory words and behavior FUNNY. Donald Trump is leading a cult of old people who he brainwashed into being delusional with him.

[ozonecologne]

.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The West Passage

medieval fantasy set in a giant crumbling palace of traditions with forgotten origin, ruled by giant eldritch Ladies

when winter weather comes in the middle of summer, and a beast below the palace begins to rise, two teens from Grey who have suddenly gained a lot of responsibilities set out on separate journeys to the other towers to find a way to stop it, and meet all sorts of strange people and creatures along the way

world where pronouns/names are based on people’s roles

tons of cool medieval-style chapter illustrations by the author

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

James Vowles, you will not see heaven

[wisefoxluminary]

How do you think Black Noir II would interact with Soldier Boy if they met? I feel the show is setting up a confrontation between them in season 5.

[tlgtw]

Man that DLC's final boss has got me feeling kinda fucked. I'm kinda depressed about it now that I'm done. Everything else is, was, so good. But I do not like that plot development. I honestly think it is bad. Why did they choose not to foreshadow this in literally any way? Why did Miquella attempt to resurrect Godwyn at all in the first place, then? Practice? Was this really what was originally planned? There's no actual evidence to the contrary so you gotta assume it must've been.

So yeowch...

[b4kuch1n]

crumbs in your bed

transcript

[dykedvonte]

I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.

Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.

I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.

[claitea]

wait hey hold on. were there multiple heroes of truth and ideals over time or were they immortal because why is there a 500 year difference between the establishment of the relic castle and the abyssal ruins

edit: post cancelled no actual proof for the heroes to have been around 3000 years ago. my tags are still relevant though i think

[nalivaa]

Midam Appreciation Week - Sep 29th: 90's kid / Feast / Silver

you make one (1) comment about wanting a pokemon as a child and. well. happy birthday adam <33